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Mother Angst Poems | Mother Poems About Angst

These Mother Angst poems are examples of Mother poems about Angst. These are the best examples of Mother Angst poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Ballad | |

This Song is for my Mother

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
I couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
A song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created and cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Memory of a mother
Shared my dreams and really cared

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Mama…
I know I wasn’t there……

For you

Would have placed 
A magic carpet 
‘neath your weak and shaky legs

Would have raised
A strong west wind
Let you breathe with ease again

Would have bribed 
God’s venal angels
Come and soothe your endless pain

Would have vanquished
All the demons
And bring peace to you again

Be the child
I never knew
In a land
We won’t grow old

Be the light
I always loved
Warmed my dark 
And lonely soul

Be the girl
Playing games
In a world 
The sun won’t set

Be the laughter
Calms my heart
I never will forget
I won’t forget, won’t forget

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
Couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
Song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created….cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

I broke my promises, oh mama
Now you’ve gone away 
I’m broken
Drowning in the pain each day

I’m  drowning…drowning...drowning…drowning

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me…….



Details | Couplet | |

She Calls Me Home

She Calls Me Home…

At days long end
Left on troubles shore
When I just know
I can't take anymore
When the last light
Of hope is gone

She calls me home
She calls me home

When my thoughts
Are racing round
And I can't find
A friend in this town
When every door
Has turned out wrong

She calls me home
She calls me home

She calls me home
To her embrace
Wipes the tears
From my tortured face

Calms my soul
Til the demons are gone
And with her sweet voice
She calls me home

When the dark
Won't give up light
When the wrong
Outscores the right
When the noise
Outdoes the song

She calls me home
She calls me home

When the clouds
Won't seem to break
And the sky
Just seems to ache
And the sun's
Completely gone

She calls me home
She calls me home

She calls me home
To her embrace
Wipes the tears
From my tortured face

Calms my soul
Til the demons are gone
And with her sweet voice
She calls me home


Details | Narrative | |

The Rose

Once bloomed a rose so young and fair
With dark brown eyes and long black hair

Beside her be a tall dark tree
Whose branches stretch to smother thee

Too close beside the shadowy bark
That soon begins to leave its mark

She cries for help, but none shall hear
Her thorns too sharp, who’d dare go near?

To save this rose, who’d risk their life?
With naught to gain but pain and strife

Alone, afraid, she lays to rest
Her heart beats low inside her chest

And with the hour growing near
She sheds her final grieving tear

And so the rose soon falls asunder
Her final day, eternal slumber

She lies beside the old dark tree
The only one who mourns for thee


Details | Couplet | |

One in Four Women

Terror seizes you, and it isn't kind. 
 You try to go somewhere peaceful in your mind.
But the pain rips you right back to here and now.
 Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of even saying "ow."

You try to be strong, but he tears from you, a scream.
 Oh God, please let this be a terrible, terrible dream.
I thought he was supposed to be a friend of mine?
 As the tears grow down my face like vine.
 
He tells me I wanted it, even though I screamed no.
 He says my attitude and outfit told him so.
In the same breath, he threatens me never to tell.
 If they ask why the tears, you better say you fell.

As I got out of the car he pulled me to him and hugged me tight.
 He kissed my forehead and said Don't worry you'll be all right.
Just remember, if you open your mouth, no one will believe a dirty whore.
 Now go inside before I take you for another ride and give you some more.

Into the house and straight into the shower.
 I was in there for what felt like hours and hours.
My grandmother knew right from the start.
 Please don't tell, it would break Daddy's heart.

Please, Grandma he's not worth Daddy going to jail.
 For my sake and his, you can never, ever tell.
She kept her promise and never uttered a word.
 At night, she told me, my cries she heard.

For six weeks I kept my secret and told not another soul.
 For six weeks I sunk deeper and deeper into a hole.
Not until I heard that he raped a fourteen year old girl.
 Knowing I could have prevented it, shattered my world.

I finally told my horror story to the cops and to my Dad.
 I don't think I'd ever seen him so violently mad.
Mike was arrested, but in jail he would not stay.
 He lived around the corner and we had to move away.

He got probation, but not for me, his word against mine.
 I was sixteen, of legal age to consent, so for me he'd get no time.
His punishment, probation for only a couple of years.
 Me and his other victim were left with our fears.

Would he find us and take revenge for what he said was a lie?
 Would my father hunt him down, and go to prison for a rapist to die?
He got away, pretty much scot-free for his deplorable crime.
 His victims were the ones who were serving the time.








This IS a true story, my story, but not my story alone. After 8 years and raping several
other women Mike was sentenced to 35 years in prison. As he pleaded his innocence, we were
all in some way vindicated. He never did a day for brutally raping me, NOT ONE DAMN DAY.
But he's doing plenty now. I hope he gets ALL that he deserves.


Details | Rhyme | |

Why the Rose Bled

Parents so proud Four sons they raised From the Highlands of Scotland In the pre-war days On their crofts they worked Morning till night Unknown to them then Of a future fight The Germans have invaded A country so free Poland was taken The world shaken visually Britain declares war As our men enlist To rid the enemy As the fighting shifts Europe's engulfed In a feverish war Many are dying To comprehend what for The four brothers Sign up to fight As a mother will pray Every night Campaigns they fight In these theatres of war Witnessing horrors Never seen before In their garden at home On the family crofts A bed of roses With petals so soft Then one day With a passing glance A pink rose dripping red In deathly stance Their mother turns To the gate she looks Telegram in hand From the postman she took With trembling hands She opens with care Upon reading the message In tear laden stare Their eldest son In Africa was lost As many many others Deaths global cost Every day As she passes the rose It's pink petals bloom Her tomorrow's fear grows .


Details | Lyric | |

Born-Torn, Scorned and Scarred

Born-torn, scorned and scarred.
Baby's thrown like a bone, choked and charred.
Raised by a mother shackled to Meth,
Dismissed by a father, deserted and left.

Itching for a fix, Mom hunted a high.
Twisting white truth, entangled in lies.
Selling sob stories with emotional pleas,
She abandoned her kin with relative ease.

Time ticked by to the beat of a tear.
Hate accelerates with the fleeting year.
Shattered remnants marked her absent roll.
Mother’s hiatus fueled a bitter soul.

A lonesome heart thuds with empty space.
A drug dubbed “love” was never replaced.
Despite the embrace of another’s clutch,
The kid still cried for mother’s touch.

Born-torn, scorned and scarred.
Baby's thrown like a bone, choked and charred.
Raised by a mother shackled to Meth,
Dismissed by a father, deserted and left.


Details | Narrative | |

The Bell My Mother Rang

The 18th of December was her last day;
she neither knew the date nor cared to.
Gathered at the hospital, keeping vigil,
we couldn't overcome her fright, or ours.
The pain, too great to be driven away,
was only "managed" with IV drips,
needles stuck in bruised appendages --
bony things -- arms and legs, hands and feet.
Above the medicines and washes, we sniffed
her scent, which, more than her yet familiar
face, to us identified our mother --
a smell we never would mistake
for any other. It went quickly
as her body cooled. The rouged and pickled
carcass they displayed was more a statue
than a person. We planned to bury her
with homely tokens, like an ancient mummy:
a family photo, a brooch she liked,
a pink hairbrush, and the brass bell she rang
to call her keeper during her last years.
But, when the time came, I could not bear
to see her leave so finally;
I took the bell from her metal box.
And, now, I ring it -- not to bring a keeper,
but to recall my mother on her birthday,
and on many dark days when I need her.


Details | Narrative | |

True Praise

I used to look at your wrinkly hands
And see the veins follow routes like a map
Your fingers shook like a spayed chihuahua on the piano keys
Demonstrating the chord in which I was supposed to play after you

I was thinking instead about the stool we were sharing
How old and fragile  the wooden piece was
The green-blue floral padding faded and worn
The chipped, wobbly legs 
That creaky sound when you repositioned...
And I was praying it wouldn't collapse under our bodies

Your voice was gentle and calm 
Softly pushing me back to my practice
 and my fingers played that bright G Chord
“Very good,” You praised with a smile
Your voice so small and lightly faded
But still loving and pleasant

You explained to me arpeggios and broken chords
And I was glad it was you explaining it
I remember yelling at my dad
And throwing a big tantrum over playing “Allouette” 
His straight harsh voice cut my fingers off the keys
As he ordered me to pay attention
Watching his hairy fingers demonstrate the left hand
And then the right
Pressing loudly and ramming the song into my every being

And I remembered 
I was never concerned about making him angry
I would laugh if he made a mistake in teaching
Or if he stumbled on his words - which was frustratingly rare
I would scream if he corrected me
And yet I was determined for his praise
That he never gave 

Your son loved music like you
And he wanted me to love it just like him
In an annoyed kind of way, I obliged
But I would make him suffer for forcing it on me
Even if I couldn't deny it was something I would always love

We never have our piano lessons anymore, Grandma 
But I will never forget how you taught me
That stool remains in the room
It hasn't been sat on for days

And it took far more than mere days
To receive from your son…true praise

But that’s okay
I will pray it collapses under his body


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Stronger Than She Thinks.....

She is a loving mother, 
 her pain is like no other.
Kids taken all at once away.
 A price too steep to have to pay.

Holds her head up high, 
 when all she wants to do is die.
She thinks her pain is masked, 
 but as you see, its no easy task.

She's strong and still fights, 
 even when they say she has no rights.
She dreams of seeing her kids, 
 trying hard to keep the pain hid.

She goes to court and really fights, 
 only to come home alone and cry at night.
Still, she continues this uphill battle.
 Her confidence, they constantly rattle.

Goes to work and tries to smile, 
 as her heart is breaking all the while.
Wish I was a much better sister, 
 who called and let her know I missed her.

I had my own tumultuous issues, 
 it was she who really needed the tissues.
I just had a crappy, low life man.
 By her side her family should stand.

Instead they all give her grief.
 Do they not see her pain will never be brief?
No, they all say they are sorry, but they're full of lies.
 Didn't they know it was her LIFE in demise?

A better sister, I'll try to be.
 Her back she never turned to me.
I hope she knows she's loved and cared for.
 Her smile I'd like to see more.

I know that's no easy task.
 But that I will still ask.
As they push her to the brink,
 She's stronger than she ever thinks.




A combined effort for Kristy.....


Details | Rhyme | |

Where Has Dad Gone, Mama Dear

Where has dad gone, momma dear?
Hush, my little lamb.
Your dad's gone to the thicket dear 
And mad old Abraham

That man went early this grim morn, and took his sharpened knife
And with him took his own first born, to offer up his life
With servants and with firewood, both, they journeyed to Moriah
And on the hillside there they built an altar and a fire

And Isaac, when he heard the plan, went willingly, it's odd
That he should let that daft old man, so worship his cruel god.
Your father, he was passing by, and heard but could not see
And foolishly could not deny his curiosity

So closer did your father scramble peering through the thorns
Unaware of how the brambles tangled with his horns
Just to see a crazy man who planned to kill his kin
Your father did not understand the danger he was in

For then again that mad old man started hearing voices
His god was speaking to the loon and giving him new choices
And so his plan to slay the boy came about to falter
And Abraham, he took your pa and dragged him to the altar

But that was never fair, mama, can you tell me why
When Isaac he was all prepared and well prepared to die
And all had been decided on, so what cruel trick mama
Was played upon that grand old ram, who was my own papa?

Life is not fair, my little lamb, nor is it like to change
And fate plays tricks on all of us, both sinister and strange
So you take care, my little lamb, with this advice from me 
Do not visit places where you know you should not be

The moral of this story dear, is take heed of the odds
And stay away from two-leggies worshipping their gods


Details | Fibonacci | |

Betrayal Of The Soul

.
A
Young
Mother
Rocks baby
Singing  happy song
Love in its purity bonding
Daddy slips into the arms of another woman


Details | Free verse | |

I Have To Forgive You

-to my mom... inspired by Nathan Fehr-

I have to forgive you
For what you have done
For what you didn’t do
For leaving me in gloom
Leaving us all wondering
If you would ever return
I have to forgive you
Because you can smile away everything
Because we need you
And love you
Sometimes I know 
That you would have stayed
If it weren’t for God’s intervention
You would have stayed with him
If you hadn’t been thrown out
And abandoned
We were your last resort
I understand
I do
But that doesn’t mean I am not hurt
I forgive you
For the worst and for the best
We are blessed
To have you back
Though we will never truly understand
What made you leave us all behind
I guess you really loved him
The loveless … I understand
You wanted to make someone happy
You wanted to fill that empty void
But by doing so
Others had to suffer
But you didn’t want us to suffer
You were just tired of it
Tired of doing everything
We were your last resort
We were abandoned
And you returned
With open arms
And tears of bitter sweetness
I have come to forgive you
Because if I don’t
There you will go again
Freed skyline pigeon
And I love you
So much
Please don't leave us
Let your wings rest 


Details | Bio | |

The Moment Of Finality.

A beauty of the finest splendor…captivating
Seizing the rooms attention on the inhale
Now a shrinking shell of her former self
Caught in a chemical coma to ease her pain

Murmuring fate in silences void…foreboding
Her eyes not seeing the milieu’s approach
Those illusory walls protection now ravaged
She stands naked before bereavements eyes

As the nights pass I sit at her bedside…steady
No corollary thought as the clock keeps pace
I allay the fear by a whisper looking for lucidity
While her random gasps for life squeeze within me

Soft regrets for the misery I’ve caused…repentant
Adrift in the words I bellowed in toxic anger
Yearning to drink of the venom washed over you
To share one moment in the clarity of forgiveness

The scent of a spring dawn’s beauty fills the air…mocking
Stroking your hair I stutter out my final goodbye
Ready to be chained to the morose you absolve me
Taking with you my weighted anguish with simple words

Mom opened her eyes one last time and said…I love you too…


Details | Rhyme | |

My Sister's Sandals

Look at that big world way out there,
eyes only three  just sit and stare,
Oh, how I want to go outside of this door,
to see that big world that's mine to explore!

" You're much too young,"   mother would say, 
"to go outside alone and play".
And then to add to my bad news,
she takes away my only shoes.

But my sister's sandals are still there,
Should I take them? Do I dare?
I do, and suddenly I am free,
just as happy as can be!

My journey now I can complete,
with sister's shoes upon my feet.
The sand burrs in the alley way,
would not stop me, no not today!

Then like a  big, exploding bomb,
my sister calls out to our mom,
that I have stolen what was hers,
to walk across those sharpened burrs.

Mother's angry, I could tell,
she sees me and begins to yell,
"Take your sister's shoes off now! 
And get back here, I don't care how!"

I'm so scared, but this I do,
I take off one, then the other shoe.
My sister takes them both away,
and now I have a price to pay.

Our mother shrieks, "Get over here!"
I cry from pain and I cry from fear,
as burrs pierce through my tender  skin,
I beg my mom to make it end.

As I am crying, "Mommy, please!"
I fall down on my hands and knees,
but still she's screaming with that voice,
so I crawl through burrs, I have no choice.

She reaches down and grabs my hair,
and beats me while the neighbors stare,
She hits my face repeatedly,
while she says these words to me,

"I'll teach you not to cause me grief!
I'll teach you not to be a thief!"
I used to want to go explore-
but I don't want to anymore.


Details | Free verse | |

Lacrimae Rerum

It is a house
That was once a home.
Now with its eyes boarded up,
It has lost its heartbeat.

No longer does he hear
Her faltering fumbling with the key
When he has to visit.
Guilty memories are buried deep
Within him,just like his mother.

His sister tearfully packed the boxes,
Precious few treasures
Consigned to cheap oblivion.

Soon will arrive the house clearance people,
The necessary hyenas of a crowded modern life,
To leave no trace of her story
Save the little blot
Burned brown 
On the third step of the stairs.


Details | Rhyme | |

She Died Right There Before Me

To me, she could've said anything
I wanted so badly to hear her say,
"I love you and I'm gonna try."
But all she said is "I just can't stay."
She looked away, I stared her down.
I needed to see her eyes.
She looked at me and that's when I knew...
THIS IS THE DAY MY MOTHER DIES.
She died right there before me.
I watched her fade away.
Her eyes were glossing over
as I begged her "PLEASE, JUST STAY!"
She said goodbye and drove away.
I've learned to deal with loss.
But, now she says "I'm coming back!"
She doesn't know the cost.
To me she's dead, she can't come back.
She'll have to remember the day
that she died right there before me
when she said she couldn't stay.


Details | I do not know? | |

Whore

Comforting self destruction
Ice thawed by blood
Soul torn apart
Heart trampled in the mud
Innocent little life 
Trying to find its way
Child with no father
Cries the day away
Love without reason
Life without hope
See the blooming soul inside
Smell the burning dope
Pain that's been felt
Many times before
All because of one
Skanky little whore


Details | I do not know? | |

Slow

Slow was the logo he had been wearing since he was born.
Born into a world of poverty and scorn. They look at you funny when your mom is 
destroying her fetus and it's not even born yet. 
9 months of pain in a bubble of insanity. Slowly fading. She didn't know how much you 
were going to be. 
So when the day came and she lied down on the table screaming and breathing. Cussing and 
fussing. Wondering why she didn't keep her silly legs closed.
But then you come around and your eyes were enough to tame her. No more stripping to make 
a dollar, no more crack pipes she wanted to be the perfect mother. She raised you right, 
though she made some mistakes she was really trying. 
Your first day of school she held your hand and cried because you were becoming such a 
little man.
She didn't yet know the hardships that were to come. The boat was solid now but the waves 
were sure to crash it.
The little boy strutted to school he wanted to make his mother proud but he didn't yet 
know he was going to be made a fool. 
First day of class and he could barely read. Teacher's crucified him because he didn't 
know his ABC's. 
From then on he was labeled slow. Got left back in the 3rd grade for him their seemed no 
hope. 
He went from being so determined to blaming his mother, the stress so enormous she 
started the pipe again.
The boy couldn't imagine how much he had hurt her. But he knew hurt as well and for now 
he felt he deserved to be selfish. 
Kids teased him every day, stole his lunch money, called him " slow" and a dummy. He had 
no friends and one day he turned to his mother. 
He said mom why is that every day I go to school and they tease me and I come home and I 
tease you. But you’re silent, you don't ever belittle me. Why is that mommy? He stared at 
her with intelligence in his eyes. The mother was silent for a second and then she looked 
into her baby's eyes and said " Because to me you are golden and even though they might 
not see it I surely know it".The boy looked at his mother and said but how can I be 
golden that's not what anyone says they all say that I’m slow. 
The mother looked at her son and reached out for his hand and slapped it. Didn’t I tell 
you never to listen to what other people say it only matters what you think? What do you 
think?  
The boy gazed into his mother's eyes and said " I think I’m really bright, if you can see 
it and I can see it than that's all I need to know. The mother smiled as he left her that 
day the future seemed bright.


Details | I do not know? | |

Hello/Goodbye

When You See Me I Say Hello
When I Leave You Say Goodbye.
How Then Did I Not Know My Hello
Would Be My Last Goodbye.
When The Phone Rings I Hope To
Hear Your Voice And Its Soft Tone.
But When It Rings I Hear Someone
And Its Not You How Could This Be.
Your Sweet Hello's Come To Me Like
You Never Left My Tears Start To Flow
When I Hang Up The Phone.
Hello/Goodbye I Often Cry For Your
No Longer Here What To Do Where 
To Turn.
My Tears Start Falling And My Heart
Burns Because Your No Longer
Here To Guide Me.
Hello/Goodbye I Just Don't Want To 
Cry But I'm Hurting Still My Life Will
Never Be The Same.
How To Deal? How To Cope?
I Just Think Of You And The Tears
Just Start To Flow.
Hello/Goodbye God Why Oh Why 
Did She Have To Die.    





Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

DOMESTIC ABUSE

the children are crying
again there's trouble in the house
their mother's in the corner all bloodied
and cowering like a mouse
the father, the husband
who calls himself the king
seems to only dispense verbal abuse
and violent beatings
the police have been called 
but she won't have him arrested
she thinks her faith, beliefs 
and vows are being tested
her friends can't understand why 
she won't just get away
her family is praying that
he won't kill her some day
 
domestic abuse seems to be on the up-rise
yet society always seems to be shocked and surprised
you'll hear people say, "they seem like a very nice couple"
but behind those closed doors there's nothing but violent struggles
the children are always looking neat on their way to school
they seem very shy and the mother acts somewhat cool
but inside that house no one really has a clue
of the level of domestic violence and abuse


Details | Rhyme | |

This poem is my own recovery from Valium O Little White Tablet

‘0 LITTLE WHITE TABLET’

O little white tablet, how I hate you,
I was only 21 years old, when introduced to you.
You looked so innocent, so white, so pure.
I was told you were the answer to everything,
(The cure)
No-one told me, when they introduced me to 
the rest of your family, the yellow and the blue.
The blue being five times stronger than you.
No-one told me of the dangers you held within.
Of all the pain I would have to go through, all the suffering.
No-one told me. YOU would rob me, of eighteen 
years of my life.
That I would be unable to function properly,
as a Mother and Wife.
No-one told me, I would get addicted to you.
Of all the pain and suffering, I would
have to go through.
To get you out of my system, alone took two years. 
Two more years of heartbreak, many, many tears.
Then to find out, I had Agoraphobia.
Several more years, destroyed by fear.
Which a lot of people, say is caused by you.
Not being able to go out, far or near.
Hurting all the ones, I loved so dear.
O little white tablet, how I hate you.
But in the end I was the winner Not you.

This poem refers to prescribed drugs


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Me, Myself and Critique

Allow me a moment to deconstruct; 
Every wall characteristically set up; 
And all the fabricated stories from corrupt
Individuals; Residuals of a past, 
I broke through and shattered like sugar-glass. 

Let me tell you; I'm not invincible; 
My personality is not intrinsical; 
My body nor mind isn't irresistible; 
Sometimes my heart and my head cosmically clash;
Emotion covers my face like a rash.

I'm a disastrously lousy liar; 
I can't hold piss for pounds if its worth a few pence; 
And in debate I can never sit on the fence; 
I need to say my bit no matter how intense
The opposite argument may make sense.

I like to drink like most twenty year olds; 
Though sometimes I drink more than my emotions hold
And sometimes I let those emotions slip in tears; 
And open my heart to all my sorrows and fears 
But god forbid I should have a pained heart. 

God forbid I should live a life of youth; 
And take with it all the human traits from life's juice;
When happiness and suffering go hand in hand
I still bleed love and loyalty from every gland. 
Because I believed in those sacred fruits.

Well just because I build a barricade
And paint on a brave face to replace my true self
Don't categorically place me on a shelf
Among alcoholics, arrogant clowns and thieves
Who handed you the gavel to judge me?

Though all of this stuff may file under "Me"
Don't think I wouldn't move sun and earth, part the sea
To bring to you what you hold dearest of the dear; 
That I wouldn't hunt through fire-filled chasms, your fears; 
Because what is love without a few tears.


Details | Couplet | |

Beyond The Gates

Behind these gates lay quite the scene
So very surreal, yet not a dream

Beautiful headstones, manicured lawns
My God the memories this place spawns 

The winding road, first turn to the right
Back to the beginning of my plight

Stopping next to the second trail
My heart and head pound like hell

On the left eleven headstones away
Like a movie my memory starts to play

People gathered from all around
My mother knew everyone in town

At the time I was still unable to speak
My shattered psyche was far too weak

I stood there broken and full of fear
Ashamed I could shed not a single tear

Ashamed I could speak not a single word
Inside my head so many voices heard

What did those voices have too say
That’s another story for another day

Those gates now hold so many I love
Everyone I once held above

Last time I entered them I was 32
Even though those gates hold all of you

Next month I’ll go back and explain why
Tell my mother the reason I couldn’t cry

Apologize to her for being broken
Leave flowers, a poem, and my N.A. token

That way she will know without any doubt
What her little boy ended up being all about

That her little boy is not broken anymore
Overcoming adversity is what adversity is for

And one day when I’ve completed my fate
I’ll be looking for her, “Beyond the Gate”


The Shafter, California cemetery holds my mother, Grandparents, my cousin James and many
close friends. The last time I visited them was approx. 18 years ago. It’s very strange
that I received, “Beyond the Gates” as my topic, because; I’ve been planning this trip for
months now. If not for that fact I would have most likely written this poem about prison
gates. I reckon all things happen for a reason. Thank you Constance writing this poem has
given me strength to help me do what I plan to do. Go make amends to the person who gave
me life and taught me the things, which stuck with me through it all. My Grandparents
never lost hope in me and always said, "One day Mikey will remember the things we taught
him and return to the Lord." I think they will be proud of the man who comes to visit them
next month.





Details | Rhyme | |

A Homeless Child

A Homeless Child

By Elton Camp

Destiny doesn’t live in a country far away
She’s a child born and living in the USA

Destiny and her mother have lived alone
The child’s father is not dead—just gone

She doesn’t understand why he’s not there
“Mother, why is it my daddy doesn’t care?”

To explain to the child, the mother tries
But she can’t keep tears from her eyes

“Your father just wasn’t ready to settle down.
Someday soon, he says, he will come around.”

The mother worked hard for very low pay
But her company had to shut down one day

Their life then became endless helter-skelter
Most nights they spent at the homeless shelter

Destiny misses her home along with all her toys
Wishes she could be like most girls and boys

Instead, she huddles against her mother in fear
As another scary night on the street draws near

(To see the supporting picture, go to http://www.scribd.com/doc/78236749/A-Homeless-Child )



Details | Dramatic monologue | |

It's not a mask,it's my face

I like to wear mask

I wear a mask everyday

This mask I wear for my mom

This mask I wear for my brothers

This mask I wear for my sisters

This mask I wear for my dad

This mask I wear for my aunts

This mask I wear for my cousins

This mask I wear for my uncles 

This mask I wear for my grandma

This mask I wear for my grandpa

This mask I wear for friends

This mask I wear for strangers

I've grown so accustomed to wearing a mask, I've even made myself believe it's my face.

It's sometimes painted.

It's sometimes plain

It's sometimes decorated

But even after all that, when the night comes and I'm sitting alone I remove the mask. And out falls everything that I fear.My scars shows.And the darkness finally is let out.

I can cry, silently

My screams are never heard.

But that's alright, as long as everyone else is happy it's fine right?


To be honest, you just sound selfish.


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Rhyme | |

The Happy Dress

It’s a mother-in-law’s right, her prerogative 
To ‘drop in’ on her son almost any time,
But a mother-in-law should always be prepared
For almost anything she may find.

So, Mother Cready dropped in unannounced;
But as she approached her son’s front door,
Suddenly it opened.  “Ta Da!  Do you like my happy dress?”
His young wife stood there in her ‘all in all’…nothing more.

“Oh, my word!” Mother Cready exclaimed with surprise.
“Why are you naked?  Are you insane?”
Just as surprised, the young wife pulled her inside.
“Please, Mother Cready…if you’ll just let me explain.

You see, when Mac has had a rough day,
When he’s been under a lot of stress,
Sometimes I meet him at the door
With a smile and a kiss in my happy dress.

It always relaxes him and makes him happy,
Then he makes me very happy too.
It works for Mac and me, Mother Cready;
Maybe it would work for you.”

“We’re too old for such.” scoffed Mother Cready.
“Perhaps if we were young like the two of you.”
But, on her way home, she decided
She was definitely going to try it too.

So, she bathed and put on some nice perfume,
Fixed her make-up and her hair.
She was thinking some very sexy thoughts,
But she had to hurry…no time to spare.

She heard her husband’s car in the driveway;
And as he approached their front door,
She threw it open.  “Ta Da! Do you like my happy dress?"
She stood there in her ‘all in all’…nothing more.

She saw a little grimace cross his face,
But that was not the worst.
Then he said, “I appreciate your happy dress, my dear;
But maybe you should have ironed it first.”

ALTERNATE LAST VERSE

“Well…your ‘happy dress’ could use some ironing;
But my birthday suit could use some starch.”
He kissed her. “Bet you and I can work it out.”;
And off to bed they marched.


Details | Free verse | |

My name is Catastrophe

Hell hath no replete replica like an Ohiohell
memom memoboys dispelled with lovelessloss lorn laments
measured in misgiven gravid neutral grautities of cool compromised cruel
capsid cascades of dreary demented drowsy dump deep demented deny desires
with wilfull wallowing in unsupposed not to be here
herein two boys born to a numbnuts army husbodad and a 
WTF what is happening in/outside this family 50's acircle
what comes next in the uneducated female nonintuition of a
deaddad accidential with a pity piss payoff and a whatdoIdo anal attitude
totally in reverse of an arkansas hope of upheaveal. GDMFSOB, who could I/we haVE
BeeN in the assinine scheme of things with someone in an intersomewhateducated semistate of minimal MFconsciousness. We play the hand we are dealt in the vast unscheme of unness. 
WTF, and where/why does God take part and lessen a small boy's dream of donated dadhood by taking it away and leave him left to faulterflounder in a boyhood abyss. Dead, devoid, denied to the manmale circumstance of what the future folds to be delivered to doting descendents, like my three sons. with whom I struggled to 
shower, impart, enable, enbibe, instill, foster, enliven, and all that I did not experience yet faux provide with an inner soulsense to a measured milestone of mannered man manufactured love and tendered texture of all mine to give with that that is mustered macro from a micro counteanace of humocapped coperal deliverance. All's fair they say unless u have been there and then it's every man for himself---and then, I dare u to get in my way---------no holds barred, look out for I am a survivor, all the way.   
Hi, my name is Dave, and according to my grandparents, I wasn't supposed to live to be raised. Go figure.


Details | Rhyme | |

Sister, Sister

Mother Superior faced a daunting task,
Like no other in her forty years.
She had prayed it simply wasn’t so,
That Godly intervention might belie her fears.

But sadly, there was no such intervention,
No relief from the duty she did rue.
Despite her hopes and all her prayers,
It had been confirmed.  What she feared was true.

So, she gathered all the Sisters after Vespers.
The impromptu meeting caused quite a stir.
There was murmuring as they filed into the chapel.
She hesitated for a moment... but no, she was sure.

“Sisters, I asked you all here to share some news.
It’s something I never thought I’d have to say.
We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.”
Mary Catherine, a Sister for sixty years, said, 
“Oh, thank God.  I’m so tired of Chardonnay.” 


Details | Villanelle | |

mother WHO i HATE

Mother, mother can't you see?
How much are you putting the needle,
Deep inside of  my heart?
I know the pain won't go away!
I know you are blind to see the truth!

Pain pain pain,
When will you go away?
Anger, hate & discouragement
Always comes my way!
What am I supposed to do?
I feel alone deep inside,
I feel the empty pressure against my chest,
In a prison of hate,
I am sick of the people who I love,
Betraying me & ruining the trust,
God above who sees your actions,
I hope He will never forgives you,
For you who keep on sin.

One day you will see 
Throw my eyes & my pain,
One day you will stop on pretend,
Realize your mistakes,
It will be too late,
I will be gone far away,
I will never come back again!


Details | Ballad | |

Living my dream

Living my dream

I had one dream when I was young
To go to another land
In life I wasn’t satisfied
I wanted something grand
Lions, tigers. Kangaroos
And all those wild, wild beasts
Africa, South America
Or Australia at least.

Possessive Mother was my curse
How could I get away?
Every time I mentioned it
She had so much to say
And made me feel so guilty
Really cramped my style
And then one day there came along
Something to make me smile

I’d just turned my nineteenth year
When this great girl came along
She hailed from West Australia
And filled my heart with song
So we got married, had some kids
And here we are in Oz
Been here for half a century
And I came here all because

It was my fate to find this girl
She was my destiny
There’s be a whisper in the skies
That knows how things will be
It takes one’s soul, and leads it on
So growth, it might occur
And I know that west Australia
My heart, it sure does stir.

4 August 2013 @ 1440hrs.


Details | Rhyme | |

I'd never want to relive the day

I’d never want to relive the day.

I’d never want to relive the day
I left my mum, I turned away
And came here to Australia
From England oh, so very far

She cried and cried to see me go
If I’d be back she did not know
Just sixty pound I had on me
Mum never knew just what would be

What else really, could I do?
I’d wed a girl I loved so true
She was from the land of Oz
And with her family her heart was

I’d never want to relive that day
I broke mums heart in such a way
But that’s the way it had to be
Though it caused mum so much misery.

20 December 2013 @ 1730hrs.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

To a Dead Man

You Drive me into this Malice, into this Maze I can only see the last of days Your Creation Failed With Me Burn with malice as you bridge to the plains of ennui


Details | Free verse | |

Blood Drips From Walls

A scream stretches out into the night
A desperate call heard but with guilt ignored
An echoing beacon of another battle commence
As neighbours run to their bunkers to escape its call
As blood drips from walls

In separate tombs
Two children wait in line
Hoping and praying they won't reach the head this time
Dreading what raised voices and familiar shouts will bring
As they desperately hide beneath timid sheets
That had always failed to provide cover they need
As blood drips from walls

A mother throws herself into the line of fire
Desperate to protect her kids from his fists full of anger
For she knows if she's not there where next he will turn
As her blood drips from walls

Plates, cups, glass become the bullets
In a battle for the kitchen door
Whilst trapped inside for now her children's safety she is sure
As blood drips from walls

Drink the finger on the trigger held
Cruel words the shrapnel that went so deep
Every punch of his fist the mighty bomb
That tempted fate to end this once and for all
As blood drips from walls

The excited barking dog
Becomes the friendly fire
As her arms try to block the punches
The dog bites into what he doesn't know
A scream of pain for a moment sets still time
As blood drips from walls

Two children shudder as the ambulance pulls up outside
The flashing lights a breeze of hope dancing on their bedroom ceilings
Just maybe somebody might come and take them now
Guilty in their selfish need as they feared for their mother loved
As blood drips from walls

But as they drifted into exhausted sleep
Freed for a night from his rage as he sat and feared losing all he controlled
In a hospital room their mother retreated into a lie
Surrendered all of them to many years more
Because more than she feared the war
She was terrified of the loneliness from losing his love
Believing every time he told her you're not good enough
As blood drips from walls


Details | Lyric | |

UNNOTICED, UNSEEN

I woke up one day
Unnoticed, unseen
The sparrows were chirping
Did not mind me between

I poked them gently
The sparrows got scared
Seeing them fly
I went mad

I ran out into the streets
Naked and free
Hurled pebbles on passersby
Watched them flee with glee

I felt like a king
In this blind men’s paradise
Shocking poor fellows at will
Making fun of their cries

I was shaken hard
By someone I could not see
I rubbed my eyes
Could see only darkness around me

It was my mother
She put me on her lap
Tears filled my eyes
As I went into recap

I wished my dreams were true
I could see the world go blind
Why O Lord, 
You robbed away my sight
What was my fault, 
You made me Blind


Details | Rhyme | |

I'm a child again

I’m a child again

I’m a child again and it’s such fun
To kick a ball, and laugh, and run
And walk down to the local park
And being bad, oh, what a lark

I love to watch those colored birds
This always kind of gets me stirred
Their lovely hues, my eyes they daze
These lovely birds do me amaze.

But there is one thing that I do hate
At bath times, fuss I do create 
And mum and dad, they get real mad
I suppose I do play up a tad.

And also I do hate that school
With all its daft, and silly rules
But when I write my little stories
That’s when I get my share of glory.

But really, If I had the choice
I’d really like to raise my voice
And tell them ‘I want out of this!!
Being a child gives me no bliss!’

27 August 2013 @ 1722hrs.


Peter Duggan. You're a kid again contest...Age ten


Details | Senryu | |

Lovelier Than A Rose

Oh lovely rose song
Pressed in that book for so long
Music can't be wrong

Memories that stay
always recurring array
Learning how to pray

Thoughts engraved so deep
Everlasting pure, keep
Reminding of love

Oh that lovely rose
Pressed in that book that was closed
She lovingly chose

Memories that say
True love won't take her away
Momma I miss you


Details | Kyrielle | |

Raven's End

I know that taking my life is a sin,
But you don’t know how much pain I am in;
Death is better than this hell I’ve been through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

My tortured soul robs me of breath,
All I seek is the release of death;
Requesting redemption in the gun I cling to,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

I’m considering briefly the life I must end,
Nothing is left but the chance to transcend;
And this decaying body that I pass through,
God Grant me mercy for what I must do;

Raven they named me, but now they are gone,
I’m all alone since they both passed on;
Soon I will see them, it’s long overdue,
God grant me mercy for what I must do;

I beg for forgiveness as I let myself go,
Tears trickle down as I feel my heart slow;
Hopefully now I’ll get to see you,
So God grant me mercy for what I must do.


Tirzah Conway
~For the contest "Among the Dead"~


Details | Rhyme | |

I Know Of Someone Holding Unforgiveness


I Know of Someone Holding Unforgiveness! I know of someone holding unforgiveness! This has led to a life of much bitterness! Toward his brother, he’s held on to a grudge. From his viewpoint, he won’t even “budge.” No matter what God’s word has clearly spoken… He’s walked with a heart that’s been broken! His son prayed that God would speak to him! That he would forgive, so God could heal him! Forgiveness is a powerful thing to do! If you want God’s mercy to flow through you! We’re not called to “hold back,” the love God’s given! Through Christ shed blood… We’re all forgiven! May the love of Christ come and touch us! It’s no secret how much God really loves us! Please come Lord Jesus! And touch our soul! May we express your love, wherever we go! May God’s gentle love, be what always binds us! HIS words; “love one another,” do remind us! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Quatrain | |

A Mother's Son......For Dustin Cunningham

A smile that warms her heart.
 With bright, shining Angel eyes.
Soon his whole world would fall apart.
 When he sadly watched as his Mother dies.

No one to listen or believe what he saw.
 For years the truth lie in wait.
Each passing day, the pain made him raw.
 And for his step-dad rose a new level of hate.

A troubled youth is what he'd come to be.
 Violence, drugs and alcohol to deal with the pain.
When the truth came out it didn't set him free.
 Watching for Santa as his Mother was slain.

After years, Justice was served for his Mother's death.
 But her kids would have no justice at all.
They would never hold her again so they remained bereft.
 She'll never be there for them to hug, kiss or call.

She loved her kids, especially her eldest son.
 She was taken too soon by a drunk, selfish bully.
He didn't care who he hurt or what he did to anyone.
 Its not something her children could understand fully.

Her son now sits in his own personal Hell.
 Taken away from society to pay for his unrelated crimes.
So now he stays in that six by six prison cell.
 Hoping that he'll heal in a matter of time.

I'm here for him and I remain his friend.
 I wait for that shine to return to his now haunted eyes.
For that smile to brighten from his sad, dull grin.
 I'm someone who can love him and quiet his cries.


Details | Monorhyme | |

BEWARE

*****BEWARE ~ reads the file***** Love struck mothers in denial while the Pedophile robs the innocent child Lay


Details | Rhyme | |

Dreams of her children

The greatest blessings of her life Her children ~ their life She ~ a young mother Blessed with two A miracle ~ twin boys This is true! Unafraid! Though Both body and mind were bruised Eyes big and BLACK Her love and womb grew At first KICK She stumbled ~ her body recovered At first KICK She knew ~ God’s blessing she discovered A miracle the abuse Did not end A miracle her dreams Are in God’s hands… Lay
**For Gwendolyn Rix "Mom, I'm Pregnant" Contest "A study conducted by “Children Now” in 1995 saw that a full 89 percent of teens have been in dating relationships and a whopping 40 percent of all teenagers know someone their age that was beaten or abused by a boyfriend in a relationship. This is a serious problem that every parent needs to watch out for to ensure the health and safety of their children. Another study, conducted by Silverman, Raj, Mucci and Hathaway in 2001 showed that young women who were in relationships that involved violence were more likely to abuse substances, develop eating disorders, conduct risky sexual behaviors, get pregnant, and even commit suicide." http://teenagepregnancytips.com/statistics-on-teenage-relationships/


Details | Ballade | |

Sad girl rising


Sad girl rising

Let me tell you about this girl I know
My cousin, this girl be
Her life has been so very sad
But how wonderful is she
She was a wild child, till she married
And had her first born child
When she found out that his brain was damaged
It really drove her wild.

She took the Doctor through the courts
Then fought for ten long years
To get the money she deserved
And she cried so many tears
She gained a million pound at last
To help her with the lad
And yet the damage it was done
And it really drove her mad.

Her and her hubby cared for he
And gave their lives to him
It was a twenty four, seven job
But at times it got real grim
She would do just anything
To make his life more sweet
But when she got that Parkinson’s
She was close on to defeat

But no, she struggled with the odds
And though it’s ten years on
Never does this girl give up
When all her hope seems gone
She smiles, and carries on with courage
Like I’ve never seen before
She’s something kind of wonderful
She’s a hero, that’s for sure.

30 July 2o13 @ 1043hrs.


Details | Couplet | |

Unmothered

Neglected by you, 
The simplest form of abuse

Not photos taken, so none to fade
Ransom for love still unpaid

Might as well have given me away
You were a mother only in name



Details | I do not know? | |

The Motherless Child

Whispers in your ear you fear

The child with no mother is near

As she promotes her soul within

To see you lifeless cunning grin

The warped faze and constant glaze

Undress your body with ever rage

As she smells fear from near your maze

Your mind at ease is restless peace

The clock strikes 12 tic toc heart stopped

She warms you up as her baby soft touch

Enters your cloned state of mind

From the cloned state of time

When things where in rhyme

Of a perfect loves chime

Ticking away the clock strikes 1

The motherless daughter shows you her fun

And see where it leads as she shows you who won

And see her heart bleed as her mother did once

The clock strikes 2 she reloads the gun

Points it at you as she smiles you hear the drum

Her heart beats loud keeping tune in her womb

As the trigger from her lonely motherless gun

Come to halt as the clock strikes back towards 1

She sees youuagain as you where back in time

Back in time when her mom was around showing prime

Back in time when she smiled at others with a crime

Back in time as she feels her heart stop in rhyme

Tick tock the gun pulled her shock

Back to time it did her

As the motherless deter

Bring your pain

Bring your shame

For we all are motherless sons

For we are all cowards of none

The same said for her

As the motherless daughter

Could fear nothing more

Than her shadow on the wall


Details | Couplet | |

Where does the Time go

I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…


Details | Free verse | |

The Teen

How do you say you love them?
They declare they don’t need you.
Then they ask if their clothes are clean.
You fix their lunch, and then they tell you to go away.
You give them lunch money so others won’t see you’ve fixed their lunches.
You give them the car, yet they won’t call to say they’ve arrived safely.
You tell them to pay attention when driving, but learn with the first real scare.
They say they can drive, then will wreck the car in the first year of solo driving.
They hug their girlfriends, but don’t want you around.
They need you in troubles, but can’t stand you in peace.
They go beyond the limits, then sneer at your demands.
They need help but won’t listen to your advice.
They need help but will try to do it all alone.
They want to be on their own, but depend on you.
They go off alone, but will keep coming back for yet a while.
They love you but will never say so.
They hate the situation they’re in, but aren’t ready to leave.
They think they’re ready for everything, but they’re not.
They think they’re ready to be alone, but the world won’t let them be.
I love my teen and will worry when he finally leaves.
His relief will be tinged with fear.
He will always be welcome back home, but may not come.
I will miss him and he will miss me, though he will never admit it.
He thinks I don’t understand how things are today, because I’m old.
Technology changes, but the emotions of growing up are always the same.
Needing to go forward, but feeling trapped remains the same with each generation.
Being held back by time, conventions, laws, and rules never changes.
I understand, they’re just too young to realize that I do.
I do understand, because I’m already standing in the world he wants to enter.
You will know they care after they’ve left home and call home to hear your voice.
Someday they may even come home, kiss you, and say thanks.

Contest: Coming of Age  2nd place


Details | Free verse | |

A Squirrels Tears

How do I describe such distress?
A squirrel sat on a lower limb,
His mother had chased him from the nest.
His heart was broken, in upheaval, a mess.
His home gone. His mother turning her back so new.
Oh what, oh what will he ever do?
Each breath he takes is a mighty gulp,
Then the sound so soulful with every shout.
Cries of pain were so deeply felt, 
That every bout rips my heart inside out.
It renders me tearful to hear the sounds flow…
The need to help him drives me so,
How could his mother yield such a blow?
But he is wild and won’t let me help his woe.
A human I’d hold so warm and tight.
I’d build a nest for him if it were right.
But I know he won’t accept my help, 
As he cries on and on in his plight.
For an hour he tore my heart to shreds…
Then finally a young squirrel came from another tree, instead.
Together they ran off fulfilling his needs…
His cries stopped. He’d found what he wanted with those pleas…
Now if mankind could only help those in need, with such simplicity.


Details | Ballad | |

Shattered

Shattered

Shattered
Before you speak 
To show me all this hatred that you feel
Let me breath into your eyes 
The innocence can heel 
Choking, spitting, choking
I’m choking in your heart
This black blood dripping endlessly
Tares our love apart
Strangle in my lines~ first time
Like a snake spies, a cat, fur, skin, crawl
Sometimes I’d dream for a web made of silk~
Stretching across, inside my mind
Reaching too far, but never to find
A search that’s gone, but still going on
That’s why- That’s why
That’s why- I’m you
Fuqq me. I’m you
Strangle in my lines~ again
Like a bird sings “Give Love”
Counting fortune one-by-one
Sometimes I’d dream for 
Your spell to cast into my sea 
Sinking down, grasping what’s gone	
I see not what I see I am
SHATTERED—I’m YOU
Down so high!!
Down so high!!
Strangle in my lines~ once more
Like a “Head Done In”
Imagine the sound	
My scream
My Scream
\\Not Lust//
Sometimes I’d Pray
for Angels
Angels fuqqing on the wall
Angels fuqqing in the rain
Angels fuqqing in time
SHATTERED—I’m You


Details | Narrative | |

Mama's Enduring Love

Go to war and you will find out
that everyone bleeds red blood.
Be you red, yellow, brown, black or white;
if you are wounded, bright red blood comes gushing out.
Skin color doesn’t make any difference whatsoever.
While I’m on a railing rant let me tell you another war truism:
if you are mortally wounded and die a slow lingering death,
you will cry out for your mama.
No man cries out for his wife, no woman cries out for her husband.
No one even cries out for their papa.
When you are lying on the doorstep of death’s eternal rest,
you will leave this mortal world with mama on your mind.
Do you want to know why?
Because your mama will always dearly love you
whether you grow up to be a good person or even if you turn out bad.


Details | Narrative | |

An Inmates Dark Christmas

An Inmates Dark Christmas....
It was the first Christmas right after my momma passed away.
Any other Christmas I'd be making the best of the situation, but it was a very dark day!
It was a day I wanted to escape from, and nothing could distract my mind.
My body felt so numb, and the pain fed off of me being confined.

An Inmates Dark Christmas...
I laid on my bunk in a funk in that cold dark cell.
I was emotionally drunk, and that Christmas day was pure hell!
I pictured my momma in my minds eye, we were hanging decorations on the Christmas tree.
It was at that moment I wanted to die, for I just knew I would succomb to insanity!

An Inmates Dark Christmas...
That day I even contemplated suicide, for the pain and loneliness was just too much.
A bonified emotional homicide, for my momma I would never see or touch!
That Christmas I was a man with an empty shell, and a troubled soul.
A day of pure hell, and alone in that cell became my dark little hole.

An Inmates Dark Christmas...
I thought that day would never end, but then Christmas was gone.
No family or friend, for I was still terribly alone!
Christmas is still the hardest day of the year, but I manage to get by.
And although I still shed a tear, at least I no longer wanna die!


By Jimmy Matthew Anderson for Constance La Frances contest "Your Saddest Christmas 
Ever"


Details | Lyric | |

Nature's Sigh

The Black butterfly waves away her adorations
All she seeks is seclusion, subsuming slave to mortification
The Dear Air is all she can breath, captive of imaginary dreams
The Beacon resonates, but the hope isolates
The Wasteland's silky fingers caressing the virgin's face

So she is now, the covet of the damned
Programmed to every victim's pain
Carrying the weight of every sorrow
Drowning in wrongs she does not know
But paradise is at loss; she must go

Nature sighs after the bite
All my hopes fading
Don't look at me with those sorrowful eyes
How do you know exactly what I'm feeling?
I'm just the ghost flower passing by
And you can hear nature's sigh


Details | Rhyme | |

America Is Being DESTROYED From Within

 

As sin and perversion often become integrated… So many lives and families are being “disintegrated.” Many are being driven by sin’s temptation force… It’s no wonder much of this country is way “off course.” The morality and values that once made a great nation. Are evaporating…. Leading to a “spiritual separation.” Love, honor, and respect of God… Is often a “thing of the past.” Anything of God seems to be disappearing FAST! God is our only hope! And him alone! Only he can bring healing to our broken homes! He’s the answer to this wounded nation, that bleeds! It’s only God that can meet all of our needs! He’s our provider… The great: “I am!” Won’t you reach out to him? And give him your hand? Why not give him a chance? And allow him in? A brand new life for you… Is waiting to begin! May we allow God’s holiness and love to reach down into our hearts… Asking; “Lord please forgive our sins!” Is a good place to start! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Haiku | |

What People Were and What People Are

People were
Many things.
Strange or not

People were
Different and
Odd and fun.

People were
Monsters but…
That’s not all

People were
And still are
Strange and odd.

People are
People. For
life is life. 

Yet not.
Not is lies.
Truth seeps from

Every mouth
Lies, lies, lies
Move, move, move

But somehow
Lies prevail.
Lies are life.

Lies are death.
Lies are homes.
Lies are pain.

Lies are truth.
Yet somehow.
Truth prevails.

Truth is life.
Truth is death.
Truth is home.

Truth is pain.
Truth is lie.
Truth is that.

Lies will die.
Lies will cease.
Nevermore.

Truth will live.
Truth will be.
Forever.


Details | Rhyme | |

Keep My Son Safe Tonight

Gripping, searing , yearning,
a mother for her son,
vacillating, pride and heartache,
head wars that can’t be won,
precariously, dangling, 
by her fingertips
somewhere between hope and despair
trying hard to get a grip!
Crying, seeking, praying
a mother to her Lord,
begs His tender mercies
as promised in His word,
“Gentle Lord, bathe my son
in the comfort of your light.
Hold him near, calm his fear,
keep him safe tonight.
Do not let him dash his toe upon a single rock.
Let him always feel your nearness,
together with him walk.
Give him daily sustenance,
 in your word bid him sup’,
hold him when he’s weary, 
should he fall, Lord, lift him up!
Assure him when he’s lonely, 
that where he goes you go
Remind him that we love him more
 than he could ever know.
Until this nightmare’s over, Lord,
and his tour of duty’s done,
until the desert lays behind him,
and he’s resting safe at home,
command your angels to surround him,
his protective hedge of light
ever vigilant, ne’er tiring 
keep my son safe tonight!


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Gran

I was just a child,
My heart did not know pain.
But I returned from school one day
My world never was the same

I learned that you had left us,
To join with the angels high above,
And the bitter tears fell down pale cheeks
In contrast with sweet love.

My heart had broken, shattered,
pieces strewn across the floor.
I longed to hear your voice again
And to embrace you just once more.

How was it so possible,
For a love to slip away?
For you to be taken from us so cruelly,
To never see the light of day?

I write for you, my loved one,
I write straight from the heart.
Ad I hope that if you happen to look down,
You’re at least proud of me for that.

You are the inspiration
Behind this poem than I write
And my words can not revive you
But I can hope that one day,
Maybe, they just might.


Details | Free verse | |

Suicide or Murder

I see a lady walking down the street
Two children in tow, looking so sweet
Looking like the perfect family we know
But they have no place to go

Her lips are bruised, and she has marks on her pretty face
A face so battered, still trying to maintain grace
Walking away from her pain into the vast unknown
Away from the violence and humiliation she has known

Tears stream down her face, while she curses her fate
No one to help her in this land of hate
To feed her children she raises her hands to beg
All the while wishing that she was dead

The children look bewildered, trying to figure out their ordeal
Looking hopefully at their mother, little glances they steal
Trying to gain strength, to face a world full of deceit
But all they see in her eyes is defeat

There isn't a living soul to help you, oh! Mother
People don't care, about you they don't bother
All the world does is make you and your children cry
Even if they could help you, they'd never try

The world watches as you go by
Looking determined, with a glitter in your eyes
As though you have a solution which you will try
I pray that you fight to live, and not try to die

The loud noise of a passing train breaks the silence
I run towards a gathering crowd, and I am stunned by the vision
Three faces, six limbs, scattered guts and blood
Eyes staring into eternity, looking alive though dead

I see a small smile chiseled on your face, oh! Mother
Your children will never face any evil, ever
I have lost direction, my sanity, my health
Seeing you and your children, sleeping in the arms of death


Details | I do not know? | |

You Let Me Down

I waited every day

Hoping to see your face,

But I never saw it again.



You were supposed to

Be there for me, you were

Supposed to love me.



Momma, what did I

Do wrong? Why didn't

You love me anymore?



You left me with strangers,

Walked away from me

When I needed you to stay.



You let me down

In the worst possible way,

It hurt so much.



Even now my beating heart

Still breaks when I think

Back on those days.



Those days when I waited

To see your face just one

More time but never did.



Those days when I wished

You were her, hugging me,

Telling me she loved me.



But it's over now and I'm

Doing okay, I swear that

I will never be just like you.



You who chose her drugs

And alcohol over the one

Thing you should've chosen.



But it's too late for regrets,

And it's funny, after all this

Time, I can't seem to hate you...


Details | Free verse | |

Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!


Details | Rhyme | |

Jesus My Life Is One HUGE Embarrassment


For many years... My life has been an embarrassment! Filled with hopelessness and discouragement! Many things I thought I had enjoyed... Have left in me... A large and empty void! Many nights, I would cry myself to sleep. Knowing the hole my life was in, was very, very deep. Then one day, I called out to God! I wasn’t sure if he’d listen! My family, my old church, I was now missin'. My family prayed for me for so many years. I often brought them embarrassment and tears. God... I tried everything else... I want to come back to you! I need you now Jesus! I really do! Please come into my heart, and cleanse me within! Set me free from all addictions and sin! I know that you will never let go of my hand. My whole life, on your word, I shall now stand. Only you can satisfy the emptiness in my soul! I am now complete, satisfied, and made whole! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Ballad | |

I Miss You

I know how lost and lonely
Your  world was for a while
Your eyes so sad and empty
Your face without a smile

Your world so out of focus
Set you walking the wrong street
And always I’d be there
To wipe the tears of each defeat

But never did I give up hope
I always knew we’d win
I knew with me beside you
Once again your soul would sing

For you were still the son I loved
Who’d brought me so much joy
You were still a part of me
You were still my boy

And with your strength and dignity
You washed away the pain
Rebuilding all your hopes and dreams
You learned to smile again

And with that smile upon your face
And new found peace of mind
With fun and laughter in your heart
You left this world behind

I feel an endless ache inside
I feel so incomplete
For losing you it means
I've lost the biggest part of me

Forever I will miss the laughs
Our talks, your smiling face
Forever I will miss the son
I never can replace

It’s hard to let you go
Because we never said goodbye
Now you’re an Angel in God’s Heaven
High above the sky

But sometimes when I'm all alone
And feel all hope is gone
I seem to hear you whisper
"Mum just smile, and carry on"


By Raina Hutchins




Details | Free verse | |

My Endless Longing -A Mother's Love

                                                                **~**

My heart is fierce in its longing for you
 With thoughts that mimic flitting butterflies
Like stars chasing the moon in the black velvet night
And every time I close my eyes…
It is you whose face I see
I ache from deep within my soul
Wanting to feel my fingertips trace the soft texture of your skin
Run my fingers through your soft, chocolate hair
Longing to see your smile - beaming radiant like diamonds in the sky


Lying in my bed at night the fingers of darknes touch my skin
The moon quietly tiptoes through my window
As silent witness to my bleeding heart
Closing my eyes…
Brings your image closer to my mind
For you... are a violet glistening with dew to my longing heart
An angel - in a spider's land
Where they deceitfully weave their web of lies
Unwillingly... turning your heart against me...
The mother who loves you so                                      

I drift away into a restless sleep dreaming of you- my girl  
As the early morning sun creeps through my window
I awake... with a heart that breaks all over again
I am a prisoner held captive by my love for you
My precious, little porcelain girl

My love for you will never end
I pray for strength to see us through
For someday we will win this battle
And the love we share...
Will lovingly come shining through

                                                             **~~**

 


Details | Couplet | |

The Ugly Sin

We can't get back the years we have lost
The Demon inside stole you at all cost

The father you loved and trusted in
Took your innocence a mortal sin

Your broken spirit yearns more of the same
Now he tells me... that I am to blame

I should have not left you and trusted him
Denial has ways of making life grim

Now what can I do since he took my child
In ways someone could never take mild

I have no witness but you my sweet girl
Protecing your secret till God's grace unfurls

In bed thinking what could I have done
Of all Ugly... this the ugliest one~


Details | Free verse | |

A Jading

the smell wafted like a dream.
charred wood and red smoke. 
“benjie!” she yelled
as i ran away down the hall 
raising my arm against the flickering heat.
“benjie, come back!” she pleaded. “leave him alone!”
i stopped 
and coughed.
hot air rushed across my face.
hearing nothing but the roaring smoke 
i froze-up --
torn for the first time
between Comfort and Knowledge.

then slowly 
out of the choking haze
came a whimper 
and a scrape.
and a punch shook the wall.
i peeked inside the sizzling arch.
hot pitch oozed 
from an overhead beam
caught fire 
and dripped tiny flamelets 
onto the hardwood floor.
he was there alright. 
shaking  
and sitting on the floor in the corner.
i whispered:
“what’s the matter daddy?”
he looked up 
through crazed eyes of fire and hate.
“go away boy”.
then he cried
and hugged his knees.


Details | Blank verse | |

Biting my Tongue Again

My tongue
has no more blood; 
no tissue to slide through my teeth.

I have bitten my tongue
so long
my message deflates beneath.


©  2011  ~JSLambert Esquire


Details | Free verse | |

Mama

Skeletal,
shriveled,
your shell's a delicate, dry
and brittle casing,
soon shed.
Now,
age accumulates and,
exiled and bewildered --
all free choice fled --
death's an unknown terror.
You miss your home,
cannot understand how,
to those who once bent to your will,
you've faded to a shadow,
powerless, almost forgot,
a consequence of the natural order.
Enjoy the moments in the sun,
your food, your precious life's breath
that I listen for at night.
I cling, and mourn your life --
so changed.
Your stroke
has paralyzed us both...
my pity, cloaked in love,
is but another grievous wound
you bear.


Details | Rhyme | |

Motherhood - Part I

Unprepared I am
For this gift and its trappings
Unceasing intolerable sobbing and gasping
With what shall I arm my fragile domain?
I am forced to endure all of your pain

Yet there you remain; desperate needy thing
How heavily you weigh upon heartstrings
Colossal guilt at my frustrations…
Silently enraged by well-meaning congratulations

Engulfing, drowning, diminishing my abilities
Overwhelmed entirely by this responsibility
Love refuses to come automatically
Remembrances of sleep dying dramatically

Yet there you lie…desperately needing me
Blissfully unaware of my insecurities
Deprivation, depression, and pain cloud my heart
While I watch all the others make it look like fine art

Effortlessly mothering, bright eyes and broad smiles
So sorry for you, that you have missed that by miles
Incapable of such patience, second-guessing my decision
Wishing for earlier precognitive vision

Yet there you are, sleeping quietly now
Entrusted to me, even though I have no idea how
To possibly show you what all of this means
To ever live up to all of you dreams

We’re bound together, you and me
For better or worse, for all eternity
So here is my promise, maybe all I can give:
I will never abandon you for as long as I live

Yet there you lie…aware of me even in deepest sleep
Turning towards me just to listen to my heartbeat deep
Within this fragile undeserving frame
Now I will begin to love you, as I whisper your name


Details | I do not know? | |

Too Late to Say

I can smell the pies a baking
Upon the warmest summer day
Even with windows wide open
It’s a scent not gone away

She was there before the changing
Making food just like before
But once the afternoon had come
It was the bottle, wanted more

Now there were many of us still under
Yeah, under the roof she called her own
But, to this child who knew no better
This was my mom and too my home

Despite the angry, angry bottle
That turned her feelings dark and gray
I knew my mother forever loved me 
Though I wished my mom away

How sad I am today
That the bottle
Made me wish my mom away

Many years were cast upon us
I had grown into a family man
A hard working, white collar worker
Trying to do the very best I can

With my wife standing beside me
I have strength to look back and see
My misinterpreted emotions
And all my mother meant to me

She was here to see my children
She tried to make up for all she did
But all she had ever wanted, really
Was to be happy and to live

For she had so many children
I was the youngest of her ten
Yeah, I was my mother’s baby
But I never knew what it really meant

Until now that I’m a father
And sometimes things, they get so tough
It’s so easy to dive into a bottle
But, it’s love that makes one stop

She did that for my children
But, I never really saw her change
And never had the chance to tell her
All my feelings, cause it got too late

My mother left this world not long ago
She met my dad on Heaven’s floor
My only sadness is I never told her
That I couldn’t have loved her more

That I was thankful for all her loving
All the gifts she had given me
For her teachings of life in general
And my family’s history

I was grateful for her changing
But not the woman that she was
She was perfect in that way


Details | Narrative | |

Una Visita con Mama -- A Visit With Mama

We walk the rocky shore
and you lean heavily on me,
Mother, bruising my balky arm --
muttering "Ay, Hijo!";
a few steps and, breathless,
we are both exhausted.
Your once-brown eyes, gone gray,
are like concentric rings
rippling from a random stone
thrown into a polluted pond
in winter: eyes as flat
as the latex paint that
coats a cheerless rented room.
Cataracts circle your lenses;
they have a ruptured look --
purple, jellied -- like the eyes
of a dead fish, which I poke,
perversely fascinated.
It is puffed and rotten.
Your eyes are puffed, too, red-rimmed,
moist with tears that brim over
though you try to blink them back.
That you love me and I you,
and that we wish to extend
our time together, is clear --
as clear as the black water
in the pond, as clear as your
cataract-clouded eyes,
as clear as my conscience
when I drop you at the Home,
cleverly inventing an important
meeting, to which I hastily fly.


Details | I do not know? | |

For Bree, Paulie, Brooke, George & Sydnie...With Love

I know I don't have millions
To leave you in my will
But what I have for each of you
Is something greater still

I have a few possessions
For each of you to keep
Photographs and memories
I know will make you weep

All my sad sad poems
Written through my tears
All the journals of my life
I wrote throughout the years

My jewellery and diamonds
For Sydnie, Brooke and Bree
And every time you wear them
I know you’ll think of me

Jewellery and diamonds 
For George and Paulie too
To give them to your little girls
With love from me and you

I know you that you will treasure
All of the above
But something far more greater
I leave you... is my love

It brought you all into this world 
And helped you all to grow
With each and every step
I’ve loved you more than you will know

Each of you is different
You all have your own ways
From when you all were babies
And through your childhood days

Naughty things you said and did
The secrets you would hide
But even through your teenage years
I watched you grow with pride

The closeness that you share
Between a sister and a brother
The love I know is there
Has made me proud to be your mother

Now you’re all grown up 
And having children of your own
And you will share with them
The love and laughter you have known

Keep with you your memories
Your thoughts, your special song
No one else can take 
To only you, they do belong

Don't feel lost or lonely
Or afraid of what to do
Just follow your heart..knowing
I'm always there with you

Keep with you the knowledge
That even from above
Nothing in this world
Is greater than a mothers love

Never change for no one
Just be always who you are
And I’ll be right beside you 
Your forever guiding star...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Epic | |

Young Cronus

YOUNG CRONUS	(5.7.09)

My father decided he wanted his children		
buried, and left for dead.
But my mother, Gaea, both fair and true,
spared her children instead.
So I met with my selfish father,
where, by Gaea, we both were led,
and, holding the sickle she gave me,
this is what I said:

"Hello, dearest father.
I'm glad that you came. After years without you, 		
I know how you feel about us.				
I just hope you know:  We feel the same about you."

"But we are not here to argue.
I came here to say good bye."
He knew farewells were in order,
but he did not yet, know why.
I explained our situation,
as my siblings stood idly by,
saying, "If you don't want to have children,
you cannot be swayed, so I won't even try.
But its too late to go back now.
You cannot erase my family and I.
So that leaves us only one option,
and that's why I'm saying goodbye."

"Goodbye, worthless father.
I'm glad that you came.  Now pay what is due. 			
We know how you feel about us,
and now you know how we feel about you."

He regretted the seeds he had sewn,
so, in charity, I reaped his remorse.
I swung my sickle pure and precise,
with such fervent and furious force;
His blood was late to react to the wound,
and that which was lost by means of divorce,
found it's new home in the deep, dark, blue ocean-
unable to ever return to it's source.

	Together with most of my brothers and sisters,
	there seemed to be no better fit
	than to send him away, as he would have sent us;
	to the bottomless Tartarus pit.

"Goodbye, worthless father.
I'm glad that you came, and you paid what was due.
We knew how you felt about all of us,
so we showed you just how we all feel about you." 	

"Farewell forever, father.
I'm glad that you're gone, and I'll never atone.		
Know that your fear was what you created,
as I take my seat in what once was your throne."


Details | Rhyme | |

I Knew Someone Who Wanted to End It All

I Knew Someone Who Was Ready to “End It All!” I knew of someone who just wanted “to end it.” Giving up on life, and did not want to “defend it.” It was a heart wrenching and difficult situation. He said what he wanted to, with no explanation! I could see his face and the sad look in his eyes! What he was going to do next, was anyone’s surprise. He turned to drugs and encountered addictions. With this brought much disease and afflictions! He gave up on the wonderful family that was given. And turned to a pretty wild and crazy way of livin’! I told him about a God who loves him very deeply. As he listened, he began to grow restless and weary. I reached for his hand and began to pray for God’s power! It was a miracle! The blood of Jesus changed him that hour! The spirit of God brought healing and hope to his body! He was so excited! He rushed out to tell everybody! The “end” that he wanted, seemed to just fade away! For the son of the living God, changed him this day! The glory of God, and the power of Jesus’ resurrection… Changed him! And got him going in a NEW direction! He’s so thankful for the blood of Christ’ atonement! And is a different person now, because of that moment! This same Jesus loves and can do the same for YOU! Through the problems of life… He will see you through! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Diamante | |

SHE'S A REAL MOTHER

         FLOWERY FOOLS

I totally take gardenias for granted
As do I the petulant petunias someone planted
I neither bless nor bow to any bouquet
Nor any overused flowery cliché
I walk by the willows and never weep
And I wish morning glories wouldst, all day stay asleep
No oak is okay with me
And may the graves of those gardenias soon come to be

The rain gives the garden sustenance as does a sunny sky
While I stroll by a stand of birch and wish they all would die
I care not to see a rose arise 
But pray the buds bid all goodbyes
I don’t give a damn when a forest is on fire
And I’m telling all you fools Mother Nature is a f*****g liar
For me there is nothing as fabulous as the forest aflame
And the spark t’was Mother Nature as i  curse her name
             ©  2011.…..Phreepoetree   ~free cee!~ 


Details | I do not know? | |

Gold Star

Sometimes I sit and ponder
what it may be like
to have parents, not always 
looking for a petty fight
the love you feel, always
being there for you
day o' night

I wake up fighting a
constant battle,
I feel like I am in a circus
having to jump through hoops
my parents hold
to earn their admiration and 
approval

Earning their gold star
for the day
I was a rebel since day one
not trying to conform
dancing to the beat of a 
different drummer

Wishing to be accepted 
for who I want to be
and how I seek to spend my hours
nothing I ever do, seems to be good
enough

They talk about "emotional deposits"
i.e. spending time with them
but they spend too much time
picking and proving
reacting wrong, saying ignorant assumptions
they push me away, each day
'further and further I go
as soon as I make enough money
I'm gone

They act as if my artistic mind 
couldn't make money
like my dreams are distant relatives
of which I will never meet
but I strive to prove them wrong

Its bad enough being
one person versus the world
but when the army you fight
is led by your family, your blood
it's twice as hard to get up
in the morning, when the suns
rays dance on my closed
eyelids 

I try my best to be the kind
of person I want to be
despite their efforts to kill off
my individualistic soul
I have given up trying
to belong to which I 
was born unto
I'm simply playing the game

Hoping to win, one day
the chance to be myself
as I feel emulates me,
and regardless
have a proud
Mommy and Daddy
I do pray, I shall be
 free to be 
Heather Rose Marie


Details | Senryu | |

The Kids of Divorce

Mom and Dad divorce; the kids are damaged for life; but some are relieved.


Details | Free verse | |

Mother

Where is she?
I Love her, I Need her
Where is she?


Details | Rhyme | |

What's in a name

What is in a name?
Is it love and caring,
Or just a never-ending game.

You talked to us about dad,
Searing images in our heads,
Of all that was bad.

Outside looking on in,
It was never about us,
Only just all those men.

Money always in your head,
Along with drugs and alcohol,
Everything was spinning yet nothing was said.

As long as there’s good sex and drugs,
You still kept a clean name,
Cause you swept it all under a rug.

No one ever knew the truth,
It’s different behind closed doors,
They saw you suave and couth.

Manipulation was your way,
Just to gain our trust,
So we believe what you say.

Making promises you couldn’t keep,
Just hide behind your mask,
After all of this sowing you now must reap.

Turning your back on me,
Cause I saw through you,
Exposing for all to see.

Just a living, breathing lie,
And we all fell for you,
Yet your selfishness makes you cry.

Even breaking a mother’s heart,
She never saw it coming,
But she was told from the start.

You made everyone else look bad,
Taking the spotlight off you,
Yet your bravado is all too sad.

Wearing it with a smile,
When we are face to face,
Letting me forget for a while.

But now you are a stranger,
Leaving me with years of lies,
Tell me how to handle the anger.

So what IS in a name?
Only a forever lost dream,
For I no longer play your game.


(Placed 2nd for the contest "What's In a Name?" by Waylee)


Details | Free verse | |

A Crystal that Darkens

Winter is also celibate.  The conscience is moving,
A frozen light in a frozen eye.  It's raining much looser,
Down a ripped tree.  I couldn't have, 
I couldn't have, in this sin-sick tenderness.
              ___

My face is cracked in my fawnlike fingers;
And the nose betrays an inner child, who
Wouldn't listen to sparrows about being catched.
I just insisted fur was wings.
              ___

The feminine chill on the palm must be sorrow;
When I think of church bells, or mother- 
That I am haunting as raw love.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Come From Southern Fire

I come from nothing.
But all this pain
I come from tears
That fall like rain
 
I come from hours
Lost crying in corners
I come from times
We cried like mourners.
 
I come from a Father
That I wanted to please
I come from disappointment
That ended in “STOP! PLEASE!”
 
I come from the crashing
Of our heads being knocked
I come from the blows
I couldn't have blocked.
 
I come from two pups
Who were never let outside
I come from the ghosts
Of all the tears I've cried.
 
I come from the pain
Of a Mom who just watched
I come from the skin
On which bruises were blotched.
 
I come from the scars
That burn on my soul.
I come from the demons
And the dreams that they stole.
 
I come from the Father
I wish that I'd had
I come from the monster
And the screams of “Too bad!”
 
I come from the man
I wished gave a damn.
I come from the emptiness
That is who I am.
 
I come from the life
I've survived my way through.
And I come from a place
That you never knew.


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

YOUR MORNING TOAST AND CHEERIOS

      YOUR MORNING TOAST AND CHEERIOS              
I'll be the wind that blows your hair
all of your days I will be there
in summer breezes, winter's freeze
I'll be the wind through all your trees.

I'll be the raindrops on your face
each drop that falls a warm embrace
I'll be each sunset there will be
and every star will shine of me.

I'll be your time that comes and goes
your morning toast and cheerios
I'll be in all your candle flames
and I'll be there at football games.

I'll be the wind that blows your hair
both here and there and everywhere
if I must leave to be with you
then leave I must and leave I do.


Details | Free verse | |

Sense

Do you remember how she smelled
like Christmas?

How she smiled
like rain?

Do you think of her, sometimes
when snow and laundry soap
fill your senses?

Or when the wind catches the leaves
and they laugh in your ear
sing you to sleep?

Maybe it's the reason your eyes cloud over
when you feel silk 
against your fingers

Because for a moment 
you're cradled in her arms
Peter Pan and Hook
tugging at your eyelashes

Some bittersweet reminisce 
of quilted portrait frames
salted tears
and candy-cane red lipstick
tuning your dreams

And with simple twinges of regret
feather-like brushes of remorse
you cave
collapse

 Wish you could remember more
than a smell
or a sound
fainter than teardrops

Wish everything didn't remind you
you couldn't.


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | Couplet | |

Cruel Hearted Greedy People

My animals are like family to me, not just a pet.
 My cat is in labor, and she's having issues, so all I can do is fret.

The emergency Vet wants four hundred and fifty dollars!
 I don't have it, so she's denied and all I can do is holler. 

So what am I supposed to let her sit here and die?
 It makes me want to go stab that jerk in his eye!

You should be a Vet because you love animals, not money.
 What's a cat's life to them? I don't think its a damn bit funny.

I mean the economy is low and I'm not asking to do it for free.
 Just to let me make payments, how hard can that really be?

Cruel-hearted, greedy people that are ruthless and hollow.
 You can bet karma will most definitely linger and follow.

Some people just don't understand, she isn't a cat, she's my baby.
 There is a chance she will live, and I hate living on the whim of a "maybe".

What choice do I have? I'll take her to her normal vet tomorrow morning.
 If my "daughter' dies, that emergency Vet will need some serious warning.

She's a beautiful feline, with soft fur, half white. half black and stunning.
 With God's luck, she'll finish labor and her children will be coming!











Details | Quatrain | |

free cee CURSED IF NOT TAKEN FIRST dedicated to my mom who left me 18 months ago

CURSED IF NOT TAKEN FIRST

‘Tis this stand I and swear to thee
Before she goes Lord please take me
That these eyes of mine born of blue
Not see the day when I curse you

She may not want now to stay
But first, beg I, take me away
Wherever bound that I may be
Please my Lord, first take me

Spare me the loss of a woman whose inner beauty shone
A lady unlike most or many grown
Forgiveness was her credo known
And pray thee I……..leave me not alone

Please cause not a rift far too wide
That my disdain shall not abide
My soul seeks solace by you, my Lord
But losing her is a price I cannot afford

So raise not an anger within me
That her son’s belief no longer be
So before her death be your decree
Please, my Lord, first take me
© 2012  copyright PHREEPOETREE ~free cee!~
(words written in honor of a woman, my mom, Mrs. Rita Cohan, whose grace preceded her, and whose kindness was widely known)



Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Growing Up

Soft snoring, that is pleasant to my ears.
 Watching you sleep, doesn't erase my fears.
You are growing up at a pace too fast for me.
 You are no longer that little boy for all to see.

A teenager, almost out of school, and away from home.
 When you go to college, I'll feel hollow and terribly alone.
I miss you being small and Mom fixing everything.
 I don't think I'm ready for all the fear and panic this brings.

I don't want to smother you, yet I don't want you grown.
 Being with you everyday for so long is all I have known.
The abandonment may be more than I can possibly bear.
 Afraid to let you go be a man, and pretend I do not care.

It's tearing me up inside to know only a couple years left to go.
 Everyday closer to college seems to make my anxiety grow.
I'll try not to embarrass you, and call every single day.
 But remember to call me so my nerves don't start to fray.

It's hard for a Mom to let go and make these adjustments for life.
 You have no idea the things that you have to deal with, all the mental strife.
I love you more and more as each new sunrise awakens the day.
 Hoping to see where your life and decisions turn out to play.


Details | Narrative | |

My Father Gone These Forty Years

My father gone these forty years,
my mother gone twenty, I remember...
the acrid smell of tobacco
on my mother’s rough fingers,
as she sat, silently,
in a predawn Texas coastal town,
my head in her lap, the short-wave
radio crackling with static.
She strained to hear the chatter of
shrimpers in the Gulf of Mexico,
yelling out to each other
in Cajun patois French,
Mexican Spanish, accented English;
she stroked my nine-year-old hair,
her middle-aged body aching,
hungry, worried, sleepless,
far from her roots, stranded
in this strange, dry,
totally foreign place.
Her imaginings of my father’s
struggles with the sea
and its weathers filled her mind,
and she knew, all the while, that
even if he were safe, earning money,
he (and she) would fail
and we would still suffer
the poverty of the hopeless
and desperate doomed
whose minor, occasional comforts
were only, onshore, the cold beers
and noisy camaraderie of the others
like him, like her,
like us.


Details | Free verse | |

Woman from Congo

I am woman … 
WOMAN
Of Congo, 
Chewed, 
Spat out,
And bestowed with straw basket
To fetch water. 
You set upon us 
Wild dogs, 
Stretching our legs wide,
Ripping out our genitals and dignity
To nurse your children’s 
Craving.

‘fore you design gods;
Ones who create dolts, 
Small-minded folks, 
And feast on minerals – 
Congo was a lady
And I … I am
WOMAN, 
Strong black woman.

I bought some views 
On black market; 
They are rare commodities,
Sat down with glass of nsamba
on the rocks
And seriously contemplate …

It is hard to buy
Black market stuff;
We are set up
To think
East is inferior to west,
Barring them Europeans
Who broke their necks
To dwell in Canaan.

One thing is for sure,
They alleged a better name
And substitute 
The ones we were given;
Those with implications.
Oh, what things we see
When we start looking
From our own eyes.

I am WOMAN …
Woman alone
And taken against my desire,
Ravished by the corporations;
The gods who create your children
I am WOMAN, 
Woman from Congo.


Details | Free verse | |

Draconian I

[The Cypress Is In Bloom]
The cypress is in bloom
I see the evil, the efflorescence of decadent doom
Eloigning, with thy clandestines of the Dead September's reign
My belovéd Penelope, abscond from the coven so deep, the glades of misery
We must face her in the grove, for arcany, the path we must take
She's in my mind, vaporously,
Lauding with my, dangers and fears
Lie, with ephermelcy's broken truths
Leading me go Cypress, Marigold
Immortally, willows, forevermore
Forevermore

[To Question; To Know]
My argentine silence, your only condonicy 
Ends with such eath
The Mockingbird in me--died
Resting in one ounce, an abundance of shame
With an infinity of joy
Exiled, by the ones, who give all, names
My breath starves for only more
The façade, the veil, the austerity dims with Aquarianlore 
She falls to her knees, why for?
Celandine she will be
Celandine is she

[Bead]
The lair within, free from their causalities of their sins
Shadowy primroses begin to grow, the season will never end
In there I dream to be like you, violet blue, White Flower of Lisieux,
La Fleur Blanche du Lisieux,
So Celandine are you
Celandine are you

[Draconian]
Draconian--Reach for the shadows within
Draconian--Break from The Fallen's Sin
Draconian--Their Empirical lies, only die
Draconian--Reach The Shadows Within


Details | Burlesque | |

Ahhhhhhhh~!

I am only one person…I am only one mom
One parent today who can’t seem to hold on~
Their demands are so plenty
I tolerate it all
There is no one but me
Only MOM……when they call!
I am withering away….I am usually so patient 
But just for today Lord
Make them stop calling MOMMY 
               please …….. just for one second!

I clean up their room ….put their animals back
To my utter amazement 
                            ….one throws an attack
The animals are all strewn back on the floor
Now their room is a mess just like before!
Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Should someone relate to my annoyed frustration
In me please confide~
I feel like I am losing it ….and I just wanna cry!~

I want to pull out my hair……I have nothing to lose
They are only children….Far from perfect, it’s true
But just for a moment …I shall hide in my room!  
Now since I’ve been writing
                                          …my son fell asleep
My daughter cleaned up all the mud from outside
In my room as I write all the thoughts in my mind
Lord blessed me just now
                                 ….and some peace I shall find!

By Jane Bowen



Details | Quatrain | |

More Agony

My friend I want you to know
 That happy for you I am
As before the coming snow
 You will have a baby in a pram.

Your shower today was nice
 I thought I could handle it.
But my heart is not ice
 For jeaousy I feel this I admit.

I feel like a loon
 My babies gone
No lullabies to croon
 No being woke at dawn.

I thought I could handle this
 Be here for my dear friend
But there is gaping abyss
 And I do not want to offend.

This your day to shine
 And do well to not frown
And to not even let out a whine
 Though in sorrow I drown.

I leave the shower
 My wounds to lick.
In my own space cower
 Pain in my heart does stick.

I am now alone 
 I lay here and cry.
In agony I moan
 And in misery I sigh.

I really am a lousy friend.
 For how can I feel sad?
How can I make amends
 and tell you why I am bad?

No more baby showers for me
 I cannot do this
To much pain for this to be
 For me there is no bliss.

My arms do so ache
 For the babies that are mine.
How much more pain can I take?
 How much longer will I pine?

Can anyone understand
 What I truly am?
A mother in no man's land
 Whose tears have broke the dam.

A mother who misses 
 Her children each day.
I miss thier kisses,
 Their bedlam and fun way.

Why can I not heal?
 Why must agony sear
And my fate and theirs seal
 For this I do fear.

I thought I was doing good
 But as you can see
This pain gets me where I stood
 And still gets the best of me.


Details | Blank verse | |

WHEN CURSE FLOWS

WHEN CURSE FLOWS

Oil! cursed prosperity
 That tar of riches 
Glitters but not gold 
A curse no the Niger Ogoni Land 
A blessing to the Arabiyya 

But they fight for it
 Killings us for it 
Not us alone, but all 
The glorious land cries too 
From its leaking throats 

As it wears the black mask 
Its daughters and sons choked 
War, cheating and hunger 
All as thanks from its prospects 
Oh mother Ghana, coast of gold 

Beware, beware 
Before the tankers arrive 
When they do, just one thing 
The blessings all away to wonderland T
he riches to heavens of theirs 

Beware mother of mine.


Details | Lyric | |

Halloween's Song

Its your Halloween rave, having your mascaraed
With all your best friends from back in the day
Liz Lauren and Blake and while they're dressed like skanks
I'm on the front line of battle
Howlin like jackle with A real nasty cackle
puttin a razor blade in the sack of Blake's apples
crack in Lauren's snapple
Staddle Liz like mclovin
But I am more like faghole As I babble at her ass
Axe her fast and mash her up like cattle
Sneak back and tackle your dad and put him in shackles
Shove sour patch kids Down your trap and gaggle
Its abominable, so unbelievable
But its inevitable, the end is kissable
I have rattled these kids psyches 
squirming like a centipede, cutting them like celery 
hear their squeamish screams echo in the streets
as the  creepy bells of the chapel ring


I remain a mystery
You'll need nancy drew, and at least 3 of the hardee boys to find what I'm up to
Theres this gloom that looms down in your basement room
Consuming shrooms, enhaling fumes to escape your doom
Witches zoomin by on their brooms makin sonic booms
Quick call scooby doo, but I killed him too
You heard a loud pound cause I cut the fuse so you
Run away to a motel room, assuming your safe
And As you look the other way,
I got my fangs in your veins and stranglin your neck
Too bad you didn't text your friends to tell them who is next
Hmm let me think for a sec. As Hex your boy  rex 
with an incessant twitch, till he is dead in a ditch
Hang him from bunny man bridge
Yo dude turn the lights on
But there's no flip to switch , I have flipped the script
Its bewitched with no miss to kiss
Exorcist with no priest to dismiss the spirit

So the town clock strikes half past 3
There's one last gas before i must sleep
Or i will crash fast if the light touches me
Put on the mask jack, just like the sixth scream 
I need to grasp havoc, till i hear shrills and shrieks
Please back rabbit, these chills aint for teens
As I stick a cherry bomb in your moms exhaust pipe
Run up on you  with nine a knife, and the head of your wife
Its useless I'm the nuisance that's abusive yet conducive
To your fear that I am near So close I could whisper in your ear
Smell the shampoo in your hair Wipe the floor with your tears
And as you look up in the mirror
I'm there ready to smear your blood all over the chair
as I stab you with my spear I crush a coors beer then
Leave you re crops there dead, red spread on the floor
But I hear a knock on the door
Are you okay honey? "Yes mommy,  just got a cold sore"


Details | Free verse | |

Mother's Day

I've been dreading it for a while,
now. Well it's that time of year,

and so every time I go to the grocery store
and see all the cards and little gift

bags, I feel like I've come this close
to losing my ever-living-mind.

I recall my first car crash - in an
instant, watching the car in front of

me get closer and closer, slamming
the breaks even though I know they

won't be enough, and thinking
"this is going to hurt". It feels that

way again, only slow this time,
frame-by-frame. I'll buy her

a card this year, and maybe a box
of chocolates, and I'll lay them

by her grave, regretting all the
horrible things that she loved me

in spite of.


Details | Free verse | |

woman's rant on a hot summer day

just because you see me walking down 'ho boulevard does not mean i'm for sale...
i don't have an advertising sign up inviting you to taste and see
a woman can't walk down the street in broad daylight
dressed in a baggy t-shirt and sweats 
rockin' an afro puff on a hot summer day
without being propositioned
in violation of my rights as a woman to be free from sexual harassment
and I’m mad about it
my “NO” to your obnoxious offer is real talk
and you should know the difference between what’s for sale
and what’s not on the auction block
so g’long
an' lef’ muh tuh walk in peace
makes a woman want to carry a concealed weapon
and go blasting
could never walk the hallways
play in the yard
or even pray
without somebody bothering me
pulling on my clothes
or grabbing at me
for some sick reason
the next one is going to get a surprise
so g’long
an' lef’ muh tuh walk in peace

~in honor of the women who have walked ahead of me...

(c) 2011 PoetryofMotion!
All Rights Reserved


Details | Free verse | |

Do My Children Know?

Do my children know how much I love them?
No, of course they don't.
They weren't allowed to know.

Do they know how intense the pain is,
to go forward,
while not being allowed
to be their mom, or their dad?

No, but they know the intensity of heartbrokeness,
while going forward,
without their parents,
whom they should have never been taken away from.

They know the depths of lack,
that they were never meant to know...
They know the fears and the terror
that a "supposedly good place"
will unmercifully and maliciously inflict.

They knew the courage, as babes,
that grown-ass folk
won't walk in.

They know that you can't trust
the government,
or the agencies,
or the people in those agencies,
that are suppose to protect them
and their family units.

How could they possibly know
the depths of my love for them?
When they are still
stuck there
surrounded by people
who destroyed
their family
and screwed with their beginnings?


Details | Ballad | |

La Sibylle Blanche du Rhin

La Sibylle Blanche du Rhin La Msytique est la Specatatrice du Divine Elle Parle au mot que je ne comprends pas "Soilel vous deffinissez est mien Pourtant vous, vous laisser il saigner Comme un nouveau vin Triste - ons ne Saurant Jamais Triste - ons ne Verront Jamias" Parle a moi, si prestine La Mystique La Sibylle Blanche du Rhin La Specatatrice du Divine Ton Voix sefane dans Le Chanson entrain de Mourir


Details | I do not know? | |

Remembering Them

Will there be enough time to forget those lives
How could I think time would erase my pain
I miss them in the weeping sighing rain
I feel their presence as I watch the tides

As spring renews the earth on every side
And garden in even rows like country lane
The love they in helping plant remain
But on my heart, your laughter_love abides

So many places your quick laughter will disappear
Never to be heard again when I cross rim
So now I enter my quiet place
Where their being never set foot or showed face

Saying, "The memory of them is not here!".
And there weeping stricken remembering them...


(Remembering mine and my husbands parents)..


Details | Crown of Sonnets | |

Mommy dearest


Whose job is it to teach and to guide
To instill in a girls heart
The lessons needed for life
A mothers touch is like no other

You were too young to know
How to train and show
Each child  to know
What is right and what is wrong

It didn’t need to be a song
And dance
Just daily guidance
Lessons would be learned
About the boundaries
Because my adversaries
Took my ignorance
As compliance

How do you say no 
When you’re not sure
If a hand on a knee
Or a hand up your skirt
Would lead them to think
That I was free
To be treated like dirt

There were times I needed a hug
But you would shrug
You are to big
For that sort of thing
Yet I would see you hug my sibling

Jekyll and Hyde
One minute hot
One minute cold
A mothers love
Who can tell
If what you get 
Will serve you well

I will not dwell on the past
I choose to cast
Those demons behind me
And embrace
A mothers love at last.









Details | Quintain (English) | |

Leaving Mum behind

Leaving Mum behind

The hardest thing I’ve ever done
Was to leave my mother dear
To come to this land of endless sun
Oh, she did shed some tears
That I had hurt the lady was so clear

I had to come to Australia
I’d married a girl from here
And though for mum much hurt did stir
As she broke down in tears
That I must leave this lady, it was clear.

26 June 2014 @1257hrs.

For Dr Rams contest 'Hard choices' 





Details | Elegy | |

Bloodless On Mother's Day

There is a glare of stray sunlight
daring to reverberate
through spiderwebbed glass I haven't
found energy to fix
in the span of four years.
It is too much of a mirror,
too tangible a thought,
to make new.
It's lithe fingers, thin and bony, 
and mockingly bright,
steal over embossed cardstock that arrives, like clockwork,
in deepest sympathy.
And a thornless bouquet of pastels laden with
Babies Breath
only draws on blood long lost;
nobody seems to comprehend such an allegory,
or lack there of,
so it can't be carried
over the steps.




"Bloodless On Mother's Day"
Jenna-Nichole Conrad
Wordsmith


Details | Rhyme | |

Walk-away-athon

It sucks when you take off work for your daughters walk-a-thon 
But when you get there she only says “hey”  
Then you watch the other kids walk, hand in hand, with their mothers 
While your daughter walks away


10/3/11


Details | Free verse | |

With Eyes That Saw Your Shadows

The old men defile the little girls
their lurid charm stabs the fragile screen of innocence and ignorance

The fathers are traveled or dead or down, or never known
The mothers weep, hands in air hoping to grab something helpful

The young girls, like rat to hawk become clutched by predatory hands
The old men squeal, cackle, and trumpet their victories
vile names for the captured,the newly shamed are shouted in complete revelry
The tricked lost their chance at being children


This calls for a smile from the most sinister observer


Details | Rhyme | |

The Open Road

On an open road through the driving rain
She drove fast and deadly like a hurricane
Sad yellow stripes in between white lines
Covered cold dead flowers and some valentines

Her baby grows and her mother cries
A painful evelution right before their eyes
She left him bleeding as the future glowed
From a dying past down the open road

She fights the lions as she curse it all
The men the drugs and the alcohol
The radio dj makes it all look good
With songs about love and of motherhood

She saw her future going down the drain
Her baby's tears feeds her growing pain
A blade in the night and the bad blood flowed
Down in the gutter on the open road

A big black bird at the top of the shelves
Judging what they all did to themselves
With fingernails growing like a raven's claw
She will never see what the big bird saw

Like the drugs of the dying like a martyr's faith
There was light in the dark but no open gate
She hunted the keys to the secret code
As she watched him fade on the open road


Details | Haiku | |

Monument

Forgotten but here
Remembered yet never there
Why do you exist?


Details | Chastushka | |

Here Without You

Here without you 
Paints me a realization that life isn't easy
It displaces the settling railroad
Taken away by the midnight train's calamity 

Waiting impatiently 
to face some inspiration given by God
Over the driver and I 

By the way you shrivel up in anger, 
I'm not ready to cross through the trampled street
Trampling over the infected cycle...unprepared to face reality's misfortune 
Swimming in its ungrateful punishment

Settling in my sorrow state...shaping my way away from ignorant fate
You lie in scrumptious desires, supposedly independent in your heart-seeking choices
To burn the aches and rashes for all the times you fooled us...took us for granite 
What do you have left to diminish?
To accomplish?

Here without you is like refusing an outspoken crowd, applauding in satisfaction
Ruining the family's reputation...flustering the gas station 
Jaded by your defiant outbursts

Holding up my clutched fists in shame
Holding back tears that reck a moment's peace

This betrayal...not deserving a name

You were passing near us, snickering and cursing our form...our completive family
You wish for scrumptious desires...shaping your heart in frightening lies that strike the innocence of your presence

All the years seem to leave us behind
Settling in the resistible past 
Passing our unachieved, future goals
Poverty splattering us in shapeless love 

Rummaging mad as a furious bear in danger of unyielding snares 

Are we on time to reach the morning train?
And start our life in a new cycle 
This family barely has anything to gain 
You aren't even offering us any advice...same be for you,
Pleasure-seeking mother

Here without you is competitive, but affordable and fair
We aren't crushed against your passionate glares

Here without you is an unhappy environment 
Too caught up in unbearable suffocation and useless bafflement 

Here without you 
Paints me a realization that life isn't easy
It displaces the settling railroad
Taken away by the midnight train's calamity 

Come home... face your fears and embarrassment 
Get away from the monstrous zoo, snatching away impressing love 
Help repair this tear between the whole family with our handyman
Giving it time to grow stable and secure

This family barely has anything to gain 
You aren't even offering us any advice...same be for you,
Pleasure-seeking mother

Good riddance


Details | Lyric | |

False Senses

Do you realize that you lost? Do you realize that I won? Or did you think it was a tie In your sick twisted mind? Stuck in your lies Concrete at your feet You never took a step You never made a sound When the gun was fired And I ran for my life Do you realize that you lost? Battered and tossed By your own malfunction Wires you crossed Leaning on a crutch From wounds self inflicted Do you realize that I won? Running like fire Brighter than the sun Autumn behind my head Summer in my eyes So near the finish line The reward is mine Or did you think it was a tie? Tangled web behind your eyes Wrapped in delusions Coming to false conclusions In your sick twisted mind Do you realize that you lost? Do you realize that I won? Or did you think it was a tie In your sick twisted mind? Stuck in your lies Concrete at your feet You never took a step You never made a sound When the gun was fired And I ran for my life


Details | Rhyme | |

nothing but more questions

She walked off into peripheral, feral and alone
a lonely individual, trudging on the stone
out into the element, not welcome back home
beautiful, intelligent, yet worn to the bone
routine was reality, cause real wasn't known
she told me,  feeling this , felt as a drone
fear and shaky ground, surely made her prone
falling unsupported, the state still condoned
this way or that, no attention could be loaned
prevention proving problematic
 past parodies partly shone
privacy trumps compassion, it happens she's grown
so my effort to recover info, unfruitful, lay sown
 nothing but more questions, and my sad little poem
 nothing but more questions, and my sad little poem


Details | I do not know? | |

Mothers Mistake

I'm just mothers mistake The one she'll always regret She tells me everyday As if she thinks I'll forget I can’t forget what I’ve always known I hear the words as her feelings are shown "I hate you, you’re worthless, and I wish you weren’t mine" Her words echo in my head, in every space of my mind "You’re going away, I can’t take you anymore!" I used to cry to these words But my eyes have grown sore "You ruin my life, stop crying, it’s fake!" And this is just 5 minutes in the life Of a mothers mistake


Details | Couplet | |

Surgery

Lost, following darkness at an exaggerated speed.
 Feeling helpless with an ever growing need.

Trying to catch your breath with a tremendous scare.
 Its there, all you have to do is inhale the air.

Panic is an unwelcome, yet familiar friend.
 Dear God, tell me this isn't the end.

He isn't even six weeks old and here he lays. 
 Death banging at the door, chased away by she who prays.

Thank you for competent nurses who love their job. 
 Thank you for that stranger to hug you while you violently sob.

I love you more every day that I see my son's bright smile.
 You really never left me, you were there all the while.

I owe you my son's life and that broken piece of my heart.
 Thank you for not taking him away and ripping me apart.




Dedicated to God......


Details | I do not know? | |

Forever Somewhere

Watch me as I shoot across the midnight sky
Looking almost as beautiful as I am fast
I do my best to try not to die
But we both know that I cannot last

Flames and faith blazing as I go
Because I know that just up around the bend
Is forever somewhere that I do not know
Is forever somewhere near my sweetest friend
Is forever somewhere where I still love you so
and forever somewhere near my bitter end..


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Brave Soldier

Eleven years ago, my father died.
Divorced from my mother when I was two, 
he was a stranger to me most of my life.
I had no tears as the Marine handed me the flag.
He said, "This is a gift from the President of the
United States in honor of the service that your father
gave to his country". 

Five years ago, as my mother died,
I touched her face and held her hand -
something she never allowed when we were children.
I told her everything was all right
and she could let go.
My eyes were dry, she had no funeral.

Later that year,
my husband packed his suitcase.
He told me of his plans
to find his "spiritual path", and left.
I said nothing and went inside.

But last night, my sweet little Aussie
stumbled and fell, unable to move.
With wide eyes slightly opaque,
her dear face grey around the muzzle,
she told me, its time.

This sweet companion,
faithful and brave, has only asked
for my presence in her life.

This morning, I awoke,
and I cried a  child,
with my mouth open,
eyes streaming,
nose running.


Details | Verse | |

Empty Nest

Jo Davis


No messy bathroom greets my sight,
unnmade bed, nor lit night light
Sandals and trainers all packed away
A pick up by Oxfam, planned today 
Boisterous noise has been replaced
Deafening silence now fills this place
The six o’clock alarm has come to a stop
with no school run to hurriedly drop
All grown up, and far away
Just memories left of yesterday.


Details | Quatrain | |

Living with Mother Nature's Bruise

We turned to each other when we heard on the news
Our daughters place of work, enduring mother nature's bruise
She worked on an island now swamped with wrath
To her we now travel to retrace her last path

To go there blind never knowing if she breathes
Thoughts think the worst as we subconsciously grieve
Our daughter, our life, as we make plans to depart
Facing hours of torment as our minds tear apart

To this island we head where she enjoys life to the full
Thinking back to her young years, learning in school
This paradise as she calls it, in the Indian Ocean
Our minds picture, her love to live notions

We step of the plane into a world far from home
Praying we find her, dead or alive, to never roam
To the north of the island, Aceh is it's name
Is this where we find her, with no one to blame

We reach the village, it's where our daughter calls home
Teaching the youngsters English along the beaches they combed
We wander dazed and confused, joining the crying and the grieving
Emotional rescuers surround us, they just keep on believing

Hand in hand we stare hoping, as our eyes glimpse the lost
Our daughters not there, as we join the emotional exhaust
Suddenly I feel a tugging on my sleeve
Lady lady, you my teachers mama, come with me please

Looking down, my eyes cascading with tears
A beautiful young girl, momentarily relieving my fears
Lady lady, please please, come with me please
To a makeshift hospital she takes us, our hearts so in unease

To a door we arrive, she cries, mama's teacher mama's teacher
As she is led away by the hospital preacher
We are greeted by a doctor, taken through corridors of death
The relieving earlier felt, now replaced by inner reft

The stench of death drifts, lost souls we feel crying
Resonating sounds echo, the last breaths of the dying
Cubicle after cubicle, every curtain our hearts run
In broken English, is she the one, is she the one

The second curtain from the last, the doctor once again opens
Despair and tears increase, parents lost in their hoping
Before us lies, a broken twisted bandaged soul
The tattoo on her ankle, I cry Nicole, it's our Nicole

Engulfed with emotions our cheeks streaming with tears
Viewing the earlier posters, parents losing their fears
Living this moment, realising their daughter has lived
As we look back to the pictures, knowing families are sieved

Words we will remember until the day we are gone
That moment we heard, is she the one, is she the one


Details | I do not know? | |

The Other Woman

My muddied, motherly eyes I turned away
When he looked at her in that lustful way
Drowning my voice as my tongue I silenced
She was my shield against his violence
I had so devalued her existence
That from me he got no resistance
When on her tight lips his kisses landed
To her, the fault I scornfully handed
When timidly upon his lap she sat
I knew his manhood was eager to chat
I saw the smutty sneaky little snake
Her innocence he was ready to take
When I chose to ignore his erection
I packed away parental protection
She was the prey I threw into his cage
She could absorb his penetrating rage
I knew fear was his aphrodisiac
With her tears she begged for him to attack
Excited, his entrance was really vicious
To him, her agony was delicious
He filled her with soul stealing suffocating shame
The devil’s spawn, she was the one I blamed
When he drifted, he slithered into her bed
Dreaming of the day, when she would drop dead
She was the other woman, my rival
I had no regard for her survival
When his heavy fist fractured her fresh face, 
I was glad she was there to take my place
Into her spirit I twisted the knife
Taking from her everything but her life
In his wrath I left her alone to drown 
Abdicating my maternal crown


Details | Quatrain | |

Letter to Mum and Dad

Letter to Mum and Dad

Dear Mum, Dear Dad, you're gone from my life.
I remember you now as a good husband and wife.
Dad, I saw you lay there. Lifeless, quite still.
The shocks that they gave you, zapped at my will.

When I touched you, your body, still warm, lips blue.
A far cry from the father, the man I once knew.
Your cheeks in contrast, stood out, quite bold.
Your hand I touched. That memory I hold.

Mum, I never saw you, when you passed away.
You were alone in your bed, so it's for you that I pray.
I remember you most, for the love that you gave me.
Always caring, never judging, I wished I could save thee.

Now that you're gone, I don't feel alone.
You're the best parents in life, this child could have known.
So it's with you in memory, my life has begun.
I remain as always, your ever loving son.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mother

She has no life skills.
She will never make it in the real world.
She will need caretaker for the rest of her life.
She won’t survive without me.

What kind of mother says such things 
About their own child? I wonder.
Well let’s see, Mother,
What have you accomplished?

You never graduated college.
You haven’t had a job in over 25 years.
When you did you were in an entry-level position.
And you forfeited your singing career for marriage.

Then that marriage failed miserably.
You started seeing your kids’ skiing instructor.
He turned out to be a horrible drunk who became obsessed with you.
And you are afraid to be alone.

You can’t sleep in the house by yourself.
You can’t ride in an elevator by yourself.
You can’t drive in rural areas or the freeway by yourself.
You can’t leave the house without your car keys.

So I’m sorry, but who needs a caretaker, you or me?
You are a failure.
And I know I will flourish in life.
In fact, the only successful thing you did was create me and my brother.

So the next time you think you can tear me down,
Think again.
And do it to my face,
You coward.


Details | Ghazal | |

Where Did You Go

All of the angels call, 
as they mourn for the one's that fall.
And its been so long,
since you've been gone.

I cant believe its so hard
for me to let go of the years 
that I hold iniside of me.
The memories, the 
childish games you would play with me.

Mama, where did you go. 
Why did you leave us all alone.
And how could it be so,
that you could leave us behind,
And just forget about us all this time.

I dream that you are here,
and you tell me that it will be alright. 
You hold me tight, sing me a lullabye,
and tell us goodnight.

Mama, you left us for good.
Me and her to survive on our own, 
and now she's even gone.
So as I hide in my world,
and I bury this all deep inside.
I run and try to find someone to 
play those games with me,
but theres no one in sight.

So here I am, almost grown,
so afraid I cant make it on my own.

And all of this seems like a dream,
Or I'm in a movie scene.

So Mama, come make this right,
and tell me good night.


Details | Couplet | |

The Nightmares

Nightmares that come are so bad I'm  afraid to sleep
Exhaustion enters making sleep needs reach their peak

A little light sleep to settle down falling falling deeply sound
The horror no no go away nightmares please dissipate

Same dreams every night since my darling baby cried
She nursed, very well fed in the morning she died

Nightmares night afer night awaking my baby I dread
Being rocked, rocked, rocked, looking down my baby's dead



(My adoptive mother lost a child, a little girl at age nine months old.  Back then people used 
home remedies very seldom saw a doctor.  The child had been sick with a cold, mother fed 
her and the next morning she was dead.  The  doctor who examined  the corpse said that 
she had had pneumonia and choked to dead on the mucous.)


Details | I do not know? | |

I Hate

I hate the birth mark under my right eye
I hate my extremely static hair
I hate my big bottom lip
I hate my spotty nose

I hate that I have really *****y times
I hate that people only remember me for my really *****y times
I hate that the real *****es hate me
I hate being cautious so they don’t ***** about me

I hate that I cry over everything
I hate that people know I cry over everything
I hate that I hide from them anyway
I hate that they actually don’t care 

I hate the fact that my brother is leaving home next year
I hate the fact that I cried when he told me that
I hate the fact that I hid my tears from him
I hate the fact that he’s all I really have left

I hate my father for making me feel like he doesn’t care about me
I hate my mother for making me feel like she picked him over me
I hate that my brother had to look after me when they couldn’t be bothered
I hate that, in my eyes, they don’t deserve to be called mum and dad

I hate that when I was younger I had to run away from my father
I hate that my mother and brother left me by myself that day
I hate that they left me closer to my father
I hate that they went somewhere I would have felt safer

I hate that I feel like my friends are slowly fading away from me
I hate that I feel like I’m a third wheel
I hate that I feel like my friend’s don’t trust me
I hate that I feel like I can’t trust my friends

I hate the feeling of loneliness
I hate that I read books to escape to a world better than mine
I hate that I write to create a better life than my own
I hate that people want to invade that one heaven I invented

I hate that people ask me why I made Katy Clover Taylor
I hate that I had to make a role model for myself
I hate that she is the person I desperately want to be
I hate that she is the one thing I will never live up to

I hate that I feel like my grades would grasp my families attention
I hate that feeling of disappointment when I get a bad grade
I hate feeling like I have to live up to an expectation to hold their attention
I hate that I am relied on because of my grades

I hate that I am an older mind trapped in a younger body
I hate that I am limited in what I can do because of my age
I hate not being trusted upon
I hate people treating me as a kid

I hate not telling people how I feel
I hate hiding behind an invisible barrier
I hate not being able to share how I feel with people
I hate being scared that they won’t care.

I hate people judging me
I hate judging people
I hate that feeling of giving up
I hate the feeling of losing when I didn’t give up

I hate the choices I have made
I hate that nobody thinks I can live up to my dream
I hate people thinking they are so much better than me
I hate the fact that they are right

I hate that I will never make a good girlfriend
I hate the fact I know nobody would fall for me
I hate knowing that no one would help me pick up my life
I hate that it has fallen apart

I hate hurting the people I love
I hate them not loving me anymore
I hate knowing that what I would do would hurt people
I hate the fact I do it anyway

I hate knowing that I do all of this
I hate knowing I hate all of this
I hate trying to change it
I hate that I am not able to change it

I hate that I try not to give up hope
I hate knowing all hope is lost
I hate that I still try and cling to it anyway
I hate knowing I failed at that too

But most of all

I hate not being able to express this until now
I hate that this still won’t change a thing
I hate thinking that it still might
I hate knowing that no one cares


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Day I Dread

I know my life is moving slowly ahead
But there is a day coming that I dread.
It is the day I came to this earth.
It is the day to of my own birth.

For that was always the day
My children would display
Their handmade gifts of
Their devotion and love.

But my babies are now 5 years gone
And am trying not to be withdrawn.
But as this day draws near
I valiantly fight my tears.

But it is to no avail
As they lead their trail
Down my puffy face
As if they are in a race.

I am really really trying
Hard to keep from crying
As my heart is torn apart
But from me resolve departs.

The tears flow and flow
As my hurt does grow.
No one will remember me
As no one ever does you see.

God please forgive me
Lord please hear my plea.
Take care of my kids please
I am begging on my knees.

Never make this pain abate
As I know this was my fate.
Make sure they are in good care
And this soul wrenching pain I shall bare.


Details | Narrative | |

Her Personal Curse (Part Two) *warning, graphic in nature*

I felt his fingers bruising my flesh, tearing me till I bled onto him.
He made me taste it for him, I thought this would be the night I died.
Panic seized me anew when he settled between my thighs and pressed in.
A pain like none of his blows seized me, as he pinned me where I lye



I began to fight him again, digging my own nails into his shoulders.
It didn’t seem to anger him anymore as he pushed sending fire through me.
He let me scream now, and the bed banged the wall, but nobody heard.  
All I could think about was my mother in the next room, oblivious to my screams.

 He pound his member deep inside me as I gasped and begged him to stop
I called him by his name, and still, his hands grabbed hard as he continued to thrust.
Some of the pain subsided as he took me, I must have slowly slipped into shock.
I felt his hot release inside of me, as I lye under this man I once thought I could trust.

Spent and dripping sweat, he fell down against me, crushing the breath from my lungs.
I felt his lips suckle my neck, as he leaned off to knead my breast.
I lay limp as he kissed me, I could still taste vodka on his tongue.
I lay there being fondled by my mother’s 28 year old house guest.

He hardened again against my thigh, while he continued exploring my body
He murmured empty words to me before flipping me over onto my stomach.
I tried to get up and crawl away but he pushed my head down from behind me.
I screamed against the mattress while he took me, preying for it to go by quick.

It was dawn before he left me, aching and soiled down to my bones.
I curled up onto the mattress after he told me no one would ever believe me.
I was stunned that this could happen to me in my own home.
I thought of my mother sleeping in such close vicinity.

She must have left and I didn’t hear her, I thought. I didn’t want to face the fact
That she had been there, steps away while I begged and pleaded for rescue.
But as I painfully left my bed to prove to myself that she wasn’t there to stop the attack,
I stepped out into the hallway and heard her snoring, the door left open to her room.

Passed out on her own bed, left as vulnerable as I had been left, she was untouched.
While I was riddled with bruises and blood, scars inside that would never heal.
I ran to her shaking her awake to tell her, wanting to be consoled so much.
She looked at me, still drunk, as if wondering how she should feel.


Details | Senryu | |

Lost Forever

Casey Anthony--
found not guilty, yet her child
is lost forever


Details | Quatrain | |

The UFO at Cary Forest

Nestled among the trees in a primitive campsite,
A cub scout and his mother were on their third camp-out.
The tent was pitched; double foil wrapped food was cooked just right.
The young campfire cook gave his skills a great workout.

In the past they had stayed there several days at a time.
Driving through the forest just the mom and her young boy.
Thinking about those days brings back memories sublime.
It was a lot of work, but brought them so much joy.

Nights were spent listening to the serenading bullfrog.
At dawn, she photographed wildlife while he made bird-calls.
One morning when they came around the bend in the fog,
A long-necked majestic doe stood tall and enthralled.

The angle was such that she could not get a good shot.
So, she handed him her Cannon; he aimed, then, clicked.
It would be days prior to seeing the picture he got.
She and her son took pleasure in the woodlands frolicked.

In the hours of darkness they finished playing cards.
Their lantern was glowing; it was time to go to sleep.
Outside there was a whirring they could not disregard.
The mother turned out the light; whispered, “Don't make a peep!”

Her heart was pounding faster and her eyes opened wide.
She was afraid to move, but tried her best to be brave.
She unzipped the tent slowly and took a look outside.
The unlikely sight she saw gave her heart a shock wave.
 
Up in the sky was a circle of lights… humongous!
The outer ones were orange and the inner ones flashed white.
The sound was so loud that soon the boy became anxious.
With a quiet hush she said, “We're going to be alright.”

All she could think about was fear and their abduction.
Teenage daughters, not camping, needed her to survive.
She was so terrified her mind could hardly function.
There was nothing she could do to get out of there alive.

Would sharp-witted life forms from outer space understand?
She had no choice but try; inside she shed silent tears.
Begging aloud to the alien craft, words unplanned.
Daughters, with no one to tend them would struggle for years.

When she explained their situation, the noise ceased quickly.
She peeked outside again to see only stars in the sky.
He, now a man, was not allowed to look out…hazy.
She thanks God for the night the aliens went bye-bye.

©  October 8, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen

P.S. Years later, she saw the same craft in NASA space photos listed as something not 
seen before…unidentified!  When she went to show her husband, the picture had 
“disappeared!”


Details | Rhyme | |

Mothers

How come mothers scold?
How come mothers yell? 
Then when they say they love you,
Sometimes you just can’t tell!
And sometimes when they yell all day, 
“I hope you burn in hell!” you say.

But then you have that talk,
And then you feel so bad.
You try to go apologize,
But think that she's still mad!
So you let her blow off some steam,
And pray it’s not as bad as it may seem.

You start out by saying, “Sorry,”
‘Cause you’re trying to be mature,
But the rest of it just won't come out,
And you’re feeling insecure…
You throw away your fears,
And express the rest in tears.

You know what you did,
And you know that you were wrong.
You've let your feelings out,
You know that you've been strong.
You pray she understands,
Your punishment is in her hands.

You regret those things you've said,
You say things when you’re mad.
But you've made matters better now,
And for this, your mom is glad.
She gives you her forgiveness,
And so your guilty feelings grow less.

So when your mother scolds,
And when she starts to yell,
Just know it’s ‘cause she loves you,
In case you just can't tell.
So when you feel like you’re in a ditch,
Remember, “Tough love can be a – well, you get the point I’m trying to pitch!”


Details | Tanka | |

Absenteeism

We agreed on this
I stamp on your toe, slyly
You cannot feel it
Eyes on what you want the most
This is why you kept me home.


Details | I do not know? | |

Un-Mother / Heartless

I hate it, I hate it.
Everything that she does.

I hate her, I hate her.
There's nothing that she loves,
But herself.

~

And I see
Her different now.
There are faults that
Were never there.

Never supposed to
Be seen by me.
Meant to be hidden,
And just leave-be.

~

I hate it how she makes me mad
I feel I've given in.

I hate it how she thinks she's grand,
Always thinks she'll win.

I hate it how I fight her back.
I kick her down, she still attacks.

~

I feel the evil
When we fight.
I wish you'd leave,
Stay out tonight.

I don't want to
Be here any more.
MY whole body
Is achingly sore.

When we yell
It hurts my bones,
Like you've thrown
Some violent stones.

When we scream
My throat hurts,
Like you've thrown
Some cursing dirt.

When we fight,
It hurts my eyes.
You need to stop
These stupid lies.

~






~Written in 2003 (Friday, 7th, March) when I was fourteen.


Details | Free verse | |

The Train Ride Ended But Love Never Stops

"I've never rode a train Mom." 
he said with eyes lit up.
So, we bought two round-trip tickets
 to my mother's house.
(She lives a short walk away from the train station.)
Our trip would only be forty minutes 
but that would be long enough to say
"We've rode a train!"

The day of our trip 
was the day after
his eleventh birthday.
I'm pretty touched
 that he would choose
to spend the day with me 
instead of his friends.
Our train arrived at seven A.M. 
and we didn't leave until nine P.M.
This gave us plenty of time
just him and I.

I thought everything went great.
We played games like "Catchphrase" 
for about 5 hours 
and laughed and laughed!
No talk of "my childhood" came up.
(thankfully)
He and I took a couple walks together
spending hours in antique shops
until he found the perfect
antique "survival knife" to buy
with his birthday money.
We stopped into the ice-cream parlor
and had the biggest ice-cream cones known to man!

When it was time to leave
we walked to the little restaurant 
for dinner first.
We shared our meals 
and talked about our day.
I saw a young man 
sitting across from me,
looking at me through the eyes 
of my baby boy.

After our meal
we walked back to the train station.
Our train was late but
we didn't mind
that just meant more time to talk.
When I saw his eyes fill with tears
I had no idea what was wrong.
I was chilled to hear what he said.

"Mom, I just feel so bad for you.
I can see how sad you are
when you talk with your mom.
I just wish you didn't have 
the childhood you had.
That's why I took so many trips
to the bathroom today...I just couldn't
look at you sitting there with her.
I knew how you were feeling,
I could see it in your eyes."

It took some convincing 
to make him see
that I don't focus on 
what my mom and I don't have.
My focus that day was on 
what he and I 
do have
and that is priceless!
I wouldn't trade that kid 
for anything in this world
and I'll never forget
how we spent his eleventh birthday.


Details | Rhyme | |

Unfair

A pet to me isn't an animal.
 He or she is family, one that we love.
When they are taken away too soon, 
 You know that they're in Heaven above.

Not one, but two kitten died this week,
 Its unfair, we loved them, and my heart is broke.
We have a funeral for Lois, and two days later, 
 We bury Jasper, it's enough to make me choke.

I choke on the words of my prayer, 
 And I almost can't finish as I began to sob.
They had cheated death once, and to have two
 die in two days, makes my heart and soul throb.

I miss their furry faces and their playful ways.
 I cry and cry until my eyes are dry and raw.
When they were born and actually lived, 
 since I helped revived them I was in awe.

Well when one door closes, another opens.
 A different Mommy abandoned her babies.
Our cat was so sad and moping around, 
 We thought to ourselves well maybe, just maybe.

Three kittens without a mommy to love, 
 A mommy that needed to fill her void.
We introduced them to her, and to our surprise, 
 She took to them IMMEDIATELY and was overjoyed. 

Not that Edward Jacob (E.J.), Malik, and Nova
 can take the place of the kittens taken from her.
She now has new babies, she loved from the start.
 And today was the first time in days, I heard that motherly purr.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Deserve

Who the hell is he to tell me I don't deserve my kids
That they should be with him simply because they're his
Well they certainly don't deserve this
Someone who only has them for his own selfish needs and wants
Do this, do that, he barks and what not
In his delusional mind, he's never done anything wrong
The day will come when he will fall because they will overcome him and be strong
I'll see to it, as I from a distance observe
Cause then he will finally get what he truly deserves

Who the hell is she to say to me that I don't deserve the man I love
Just because she's the one whose there with him don't mean she's the one he dreams of
What does she think they're a match made from the heavens above?
This coming from someone who needed, from him before, her space
He's the only man I long to embrace
While she ran and it was him, she couldn't face
Because she claimed, she had to find her footing, and slow down the pace
However, she played him for second best; she didn't ever really want him
Yeah that's right, what she was doing was hoping to get back the guy she really wanted
The guy she had been captivated by, leaving her feeling, without that guy, daunted
She took and waved that guy in his face, yeah she flaunted
Yet I'm the one, by the memory of the man I love, left here being haunted
Damn it, I'm the one who’s taunted
Brought down to my knees
Needing so much to be held by him endlessly
However, I hold on to our moments and keep them well preserved
Cause I know he and I being together is what we both deserve

Who are you to whisper inside a scream
That I don't deserve to dream
Even if it may end up hurting me
Don't try putting in my head what I should or shouldn't believe
I'm allowed to see what I want to see
And be who I want and choose to be
I can and will do this on my own
Yet in this endeavor, I'm not alone
I have friends and family that love me no matter what
Yep without a doubt, or how deep the hole or rut
They're right there holding out their hand
Not like some people before in my past that would bury their heads in the sand
No longer do I have to be the one whose picked on or called names
No more do I have to be called last to play any of their silly games
Never again will I let anyone control me that I lose the person I became
No way will I ever again give my love, heart, or soul away in vain
Nope I won't be her not that shy girl who sat there so timid and reserved
Cause that's not at all what I deserve


Details | Free verse | |

Missing Piece

I love you and your never going to realize that
You will never realize how much this hurts
Or how much I miss talking to you
You will never realize that I feel like a piece of me is gone.
You won’t care that I want my mother
And you won’t care that through everything
No matter what
I will always love you
It doesn’t matter how I feel about you
Because you will never feel that way about me.
And even through time
I can honestly say
That pain will still be there
I will never get over it
And I will always hurt
And time won’t make it better
I will always cry and wish you were here
But it won’t matter
I will never be good enough 
Or do the right thing in your eyes
I wish I could live up to your expectations
But I fear I never will 
And I want you to know
As long as your gone
A piece of me has died and I’m empty inside
Where you held that place
I know it won’t matter
But all the same I want you to know.


Details | Rhyme | |

DEAR MOTHER

Dear Mother, can you hear me?,
Dear Mother, can you see?
This disgraceful, embarrassment,
 that you have ill concieved...

This troubled soul inside me,
  that lyes within my heart;
Has now become more burdened,
  than at first it was to start...

 Dear Mother, can you hear me?
   Dear Mother, why me?
Crucial moments, in life's vicious path.
  more than one marriage,
  with no hope to last..

      Common opposition,
opinions made to thee;
  Would it have been immoral,
     had you just diposed of me...

  Dear Mother, can you hear me/
      Dear Mother,  Please!!
Dear Mother, can you help me?
       Dear Mother,
                Why me???


Details | Rhyme | |

Gratitude

Time drags on in this chair, 
 As I wait for the brilliant one.
Each time the door swings out, 
 I look for him to say he's done.

Minutes turn into hours, 
 and all I can do is stare at the clock.
Finally, after what seems like forever, 
 Here comes my son's Doc.

As if in slow motion, I stand.
 Anxiously, I await him to say, 
"The surgery went well, but 
 of course in the hospital, he'll have to stay."

"When can I see him?"
 is what I quietly ask.
"Within the hour," he replies
 "But be warned, it'll be no easy task."

As I walk in the recovery room, 
 He lay so still on his hospital bed.
If I didn't know better, 
 I'd have thought he might be dead.

His recovery takes, oh so long and
 the first time my Angel opened his eyes, 
I realized that prayers are answered,
 And God had heard all my cries.

My gratitude for God and Dr Carson swelled, 
 when my son took an non ventilator aided breath.
We had won the fight for my son's life, 
 and we actually cheated DEATH.

We had to repeat this trying
 scene for a total times of three.
It kept me bitter and stressed. 
 Why couldn't He leave my Angel be?

I see now, what's done is meant to happen.
 And I have learned my lesson in GRATITUDE.
To not be trusting that HE knows best, 
 was not only wrong, it was just plain rude.

I'm understanding now, 
 more than you'll ever know.
And when I see my son alive and breathing, 
 my heart and soul radiates for God, a special glow.




*This is a true story, my son went through 3 heart surgeries before 5 months old and this
is dedicated to God, Dr. Carson, Dr. Dooley, and Dr. Willis Williams*


Details | I do not know? | |

Safe and Sound

Im tired, Im done
Dont treat me like Im one.
Im sick, Im through
Dont tell me what to do.

You think you know
but really you dont.
What's it like to be all alone?
Thats right you wouldn't know.

I've shed the tears and felt the pain,
because you made him go away.
I loved him more than you comprehend,
Why can't you just understand?

I'll go away and wont come back,
in that place I wont be sad. 
I'll be in his arms where I'm ok,
I'll love him true, Forever & Always.


Details | Free verse | |

free cee I will bet you VIENNA would make the same plea

sorry Vienna, but i need to use your name or no one reads me...but i know
you will agree with this so don't be angry, thanks and i am e-mailing all my
friends that your tribulations will end and you can once again smile and make me smile
              DEAR OR DEER PEOPLE
Please stop doing that
it's creating havoc
and making people and animals angry
half the world is drinking parasitic water
the other half doesn't give a damn about what happens
so long as their stocks rise
as I sit here with reddened eyes
because you will not stop and listen
the universe is speaking to you
in explicit terms
it begins by saying what I said above
stop and feel the love
the love every man should feel
and make it real
the universe is begging “please stop doing that”
it's simply not right
for our children to be left with blight
the deer are crying
the eagles are dying
and liars are denying
they claim to care
about this planet we all share
so please, 
stop doing that
a Styrofoam cup will last where it lays
for four million days
a cigarette butt will be around for my grandson and my great 
great grandchildren to find
so please be kind
because Mother Nature went through a lot of trouble to
design that which we behold
the beauty that to me is more precious than gold
so please stop doing that
if I could i'd hand you all a lot of cash
before Mother Nature gets a ravenous rash
so please stop doing that
for as long as you live, day by day
think before you throw something away
         © 2012....copyright PHREEPOETREE ~free cee!~


Details | Elegy | |

Goodbye Mommy

Standing 'round the stone
waiting to say goodbye,
how do you say the words
when your heart is empty.
Nothing can prepare you
for the pain of loss
when you lose someone so
close to you.
Waiting for the words
to come forward from
your lips, yet nothing
emerges past the pain.
Then you hear a soft
voice nearby saying
that which you
cannot;
Goodbye Mommy.


Details | Blank verse | |

Alternate Reality

The lonely evening falls again
The night is fast becoming my favourite friend
Where the moon it shimmers all over your skin
Let out the bad vibes
Invite the freedom in
Ride we must our dreams through the night
The hazy traffic stickiness fading
Leading traces of forgotten memories
Blank as these sheets of paper the future awaits
The past flutters, torn out notebooks
Ashes in the rain
It was there I saw you
Lying in the dirt
Blackened eyes crying
Little fingers tug my senses open
A drugged-up film
These memories toxic and sweet
Passing through veins and skin
Flesh and bones
Everything will break
Only the strong will survive


Details | Free verse | |

I Cleaned Your Room Today

I cleaned your room today,
while the scent of you yet lingered
in the impression where you laid your head,
caressing linens my heart hesitates to launder
for want of holding you near.

I long for this morning’s sweetness,
still cherishing that embrace long shared,
remembering how you let me linger
in your own reluctance to pull away
and how I prayed it not be the last.

From your window I watched today,
as the snow became earth’s chalky quilt
somehow angry at its indifference as it
dared to frolic with the very breeze
that now carries you away;
to a people of desperation in a
land whose heart feels only winter’s harshness
never tasting her sweet alabaster blessing.

How I despise the circumstance of this desolate place
yet selfishly hate that it is you she has beckoned.

I pray God’s protection as your coverlet
warm and thick in the unfailing assurance
of a love which will hold you safe at breast
as would the troubled and rambling mother
who cleaned your room today.


Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Mommy Please

   Oh mommy please, don't hit me no more,
my head is still bleeding and my body's so sore.
   
Oh mommy please, I'll try to be good,
and do all the things that a small child should.
  
 Oh mommy please don't scream and don't yell,
I promise I'll tell them that I only fell.
 
  Oh mommy please don't start drinking  tonight,
and I'll be real quiet and stay out of sight.
  
 Oh mommy please,  can't you see that I'm crying?
My insides are knotted and I feel like I'm dying.
 
  Oh mommy please, what did I do wrong?
I won't whine anymore, I'll show you I'm strong.
  
 Oh mommy please, mommy why can't you see
all that I want is for you to love me?


Details | Couplet | |

That November Day

I will never forget that cold day in November.
It will be a day I will forever remember.

Anxiously sitting in the courtroom,
Praying that this day does not end in doom.

All the testifying that day is said and done.
I am nervously awaiting my fate and that of my sons.

The judge is gone but only an hour,
The expression she is wearing is quite dour.

She sits down at her bench and gives her verdict to me.
They are going to take my sons, the three.

She says I am not a good mother,
She says her choice was no other.

I sit there in disbelief and stun,
I cannot believe they are taking my sons!

She won't let me say goodbye,
I am not given the chance to try!

I sit there in that vile room and cry,
Please wake me from this dream and tell me it is a lie.

Unfortunately it is no dream and I lose my breath,
This is hell for me, without the death.

I try to make sense of this some, 
But I cannot, I am way too numb!

Life without my babies, this cannot be,
Please someone just answer me!

What I have ever done,
To make me lose my sons?

I thought I was doing right,
By asking for help that night.

God, If only a warning had been given,
I would not have made that decision!

You would think the pain would go away,
It does not, it is still with me today.


Details | Limerick | |

My Morning Confession

Ok, I guess I'll confess! 
My hair is REALLY a mess! 
I just drove them to school
and they said ''Mom, that's not cool''.
But today I could really care less! 

''Today is my only day off.
Just let your friends snicker and scoff.
Does it matter to you
if I wear slippers or shoes? 
Is your image of me that far off''? 

When she looked at my head in the car
her jaw dropped and she said ''Oh my stars! ''
''What is that on your head? 
Is it living or dead? ''
I'm so glad we don't have to drive far! ''

Well, I may not be looking my best
but, what I saw I would never have guessed! 
In the back of my hair
was what made the kids stare.......
cause it looked like a fluffy birds nest! 

Oh, ''Who cares if my hair looks absurd? ''
''It's the new style.....or haven't you heard? 
You should feel slightly blessed 
that I even got dressed........
and I made a new home for a bird! '' 


Details | Free verse | |

the alcoholic

You were an alcoholic, my mother says, 
Fixing me with her timid tear-watered gaze – 
You lived in paradise, on the wings of angels, 
And you were an alcoholic…
So we had to take you away 
Like Eve with her apple we had to remove you, 
From the temptation – from your final graceless fall 
We did it to save your life 
She says it, tremulously, and I make no rebuke, 
Offer no sharp retort 
But she knows, and I know, that tearing me from Paradise did no good 
That I am still an alcoholic; always will be 
For though the booze was cheap in Paradise, the thirst is in my soul 
And wherever I am, it comes along too 
A dehydrated demon, crouched in my belly, 
A baby screaming for milk – laced with your finest vodka 
I crave the drink, I cherish the drink…I hoard it like Gollum with his precious ring 
And whenever I can, wherever I am, I thirst and I swallow 
And I fly into the air on tenuous wings, 
Unshackled from sobriety for a brief tempestuous time 
But the hills skimming below me are bleak, 
There are no angels with me, and my heart is a cold lump of lead
I am consumed by bitterness
For though the alcohol remains, the landscape is not the same 
And all is now black where it used to be shades of grey
And oh God, how the memories haunt me now, 
Memories of when I used to live in Paradise, and drink…
How I soared above those Utopian beaches of golden sand, 
Over those glossy jungle-garmented hills 
They were my salvation, my succor during my drunken despair 
But I was cruelly torn away from my precious Eden not so long ago, 
And sent to purgatory to repent, still nursing the thirst, deep inside 
And now here I sit, on the banks of the Styx, still thirsty – still drinking
Still an alcoholic, swallowing acrid mouthfuls of angst and self pity 
But there is no Paradise now to comfort me, no angels with gossamer wings 
No one to wipe the whisky tears that stream down my ashen cheeks 
I am an alcoholic still, with nothing left to live for and nowhere left to go 
So when my mother says she wanted to save my life – to save me from myself 
I look at her in sullen silence and wonder; 
How the loss of Eden could ever have taken away my alcoholic shades 
When the mutinous eyes that stare through them belong, solely, to me?
 
  
 


Details | Quatrain | |

does anyone agree with me that oxygen is an essential

      THE HANDIWORK OF MOTHER FUC>>>>>>NO, I MEAN 
                                             MOTHER NATURE
I used to sit right here complimenting Mother Nature on her handiwork
Please excuse me momentarily for I have some coffee to perk
Okay, now where was I, oh yes I was talking about nature now soiled
And damn it, my coffee over-boiled

So as I was saying I used to sit here complimenting every rose
Platitudes I knew they wanted to hear, like she’s the most beautiful bud that grows 
This very spot was a sanctuary for any bird who spotted a place for him to bathe and drink
They thought me, quite frankly, philanthropic, or at least that’s what I think

Squirrels used to seed the lawn with peanuts, cookies and bread
Buried for when the lion blows in lest they all be dead
Some were gregarious, some of them were shy
But I remember this one particular squirrel I named “Guy”

He’d come in my lap and dare me not to think him cute
He was adorable with well stuffed cheeks to boot
I look back on those days as dream colored fantasies
Where there is no sickness, illness nor disease

Those squirrels no longer dig up that which let’s them live
And besides, because of carcinogens in the air I have no peanuts to give 
But birds to bathe in polluted water filled with bugs
I’m telling you man, the important thing to save is the planet and forget a losing war on f*****g drugs
            © 2011.….Phreepoetree ~free cee~! 


Details | Rhyme | |

A Man Does Weep

Great are the pains in life, 
a job, friends, kids and wife…
Needing to be alone to think, 
constant drip of the kitchen sink.
Sorrows, struggles, fear and pain, 
things a man can’t show, no gain…
If the truth be told man or not,
standing alone, not a robot.
A man can weep ‘till his insides ache, 
watch his children leave his heart does break. 
A man does shed tears no lie!
I did, I watched my mother die…
A man does weep when sorrow comes, 
the pain so great it surely numbs.
I wept so hard my body shook, 
gasping to breathe my breath it took…

A mother lost, a father too; 
a child has gone so far away.
A life of hope that disappears, 
it’s hard to see another day…

I still get up after I fall, 
each time but not for myself…

Who am I living for? 
I sometimes wonder why not myself…

And again I seek to be alone to weep…


Details | Rhyme | |

Setting up House

I met a woman, fell in love
She was a gift from above
Soon she became my spouse
We gathered things and set up house.

Some things were new without a flaw
Some were hand me downs from Ma and Paw
For some we saved nickels in a can
Some were bought on the installment plan.

Children came – a total of four
Two boys – two girls- no need for more
We managed to provide room and board
Did the best we could afford.

We moved around from house to house
On an adventure – me and my spouse
Gathering things to which we would cling
But we rarely got rid of anything.

Tables, chairs, couches, and beds
Cabinets and shelves taller than our heads
Mugs, pictures, and bells we did collect
Mementoes and heirlooms on which to reflect.

A man gathers a lot in over fifty years
And remembers many of them with tears
Many a thing still fills my house
But it’s not a home without my spouse.

She has a room in a retirement home
Care is provided and she cannot roam
I dreamed one day we would be old timers
But I never figured on Alzheimer’s.

Now I have a house full of stuff
Too many things - more than enough
The time has come to downsize
To an apartment in the high rise.

My children came one by one
Went through my stuff until they were done
One takes this and another takes that
And managed to do so without a spat.

Giving things away is a lonely task
My irritability I cannot mask
Gathering things with my spouse
Was more fun than cleaning out house.



Details | Free verse | |

The Noise I Breathe

He stalks me for all but the
Short five hours of the day while I sleep.
6am, the sun rises, 
Clang, bang the pots and pans.
As grandmother cooks he creeps 
From the kitchen into my room. 

Frightened and annoyed by his disturbance, 
I awake to my daily life 
Where he continues to stalk
And sting my ears.

On the bus, in class, at home, 
He lurks every corner, everywhere. 
Anywhere you go he’s there, 
Especially when you need peace.

The air by which I am circulated, 
Is circulated by an air not of air -
But of noise. 
And after breathing in this 
Intoxicating atmosphere for eighteen years, 
The effects and suffocation cannot be
Tolerated any longer. 

If my ears were goalies, 
They would fail miserably;
None of the noise is blocked out. 
If noise was a murderer, 
He’d pierce every time – 
With no regard for the situation, 
No regard for me. 


Details | Free verse | |

Fading Innocence

No more girlyness
Innocence has withered away
There is never anytime to play
Responsibility...
Nothing to write.
I guess I must be contrite.
All my life I have lived,
I've had the eagerness to fight.
But not now,
I have given up,
there is no more fight in me.
I can accept lifes outcome.
No longer do I have to fight for someone.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Old House and the New Home

The Old House and the New Home
©2011 C. Brent Cloyd

I’ve lived in houses in the country side
There with my family I did abide
By the dust and gravel of a country road
Much pride was taken in our humble abode

I’ve lived in houses perched on a hill
Many of which are not standing still
They provided shelter in their time
Provoked memories that make life rhyme 

I’ve lived in a house on a city street
Where the neighbors came out at night to meet
I’ve lived in houses made of wood and stone
On avenues where children could safely roam

I’ve lived in houses of mortar and brick
Where driveways were paved and the grass was thick
I’ve enjoyed houses far better than most
Where friends would come and I could serve as host

But my current house seems like a foreign land
Where everyone wants to lend me a hand
Living in this place is not my desire
Of this arrangement I easily tire

The time has come for me to leave
To this old house I will not cleave
I no longer want a cottage here below
To a fine home in heaven soon I will go.

I long not for a mansion or streets of gold
But just a place where I will never grow old
A place where pain and sadness are never more
Where happiness is found on every shore

I am eager, yes ready, to move out
To possess my new home with a shout!
The promised home Jesus went to prepare
Death please come quickly, I want to be there.


Details | Ballad | |

REMEMBRANCE of HARRIET HARRIS:

VERSE ONE:  
 
Christened as averred one Harriet Kuritsky on November 13th nineteen thirty five
     the youngest of four with only one brother
     whose exit from this world from a terminal illness she did not survive! 

The following emotions communicating heartfelt grief
practically vanquished as like my existence turned a new leaf!
 
A recurring abysmal grief stricken state
still consumes my entire being of late
these perpetual tears of sadness seem not to a-bate
since the grim reaper brandished scythe
     signature sign of a deadlocked fate!
 
Twas about 11:00 a.m. 2005 that third of May
     that our dearly beloved mother
     fought tooth and nail to keep death at bay 
(recounted by sisters who elected to remain on vigil that day)
nonetheless rigor mortis upper hand
     brought a (supposed) painless and swift death
     to her diseased and emaciated riddled body  gone lifeless and ashen gray!
 
This only heir still misses his mom more than plaintive words can spell
with his agonizingly pained heart and soul  that rents asunder this psyche pell-mell
no amount of weeping can quiet and quell!
 
Cathartic for me to give you a posthumous ode
conveyed in an easy to read poetic code
to accept finality & permanent loss only retrievable from nostalgic memories
     identified as that childhood home and favorite abode! 
 
VERSE TWO: 
 
Her cremated ashes still remain sealed in the same nondescript box
     white, powdery and chalk like material
     devoid of any vestigial semblance to her once living and vibrant self
     that unique persona pulverized and vaporized
     (housed former svelte and tall Arthur Murray ball-room dance teacher 
     a half century plus prior to demise
     which beauty, charm and grace quickly caught the attention of my father
     who courted and eventually proposed to this young flirt and tease of a gal)
     inert organic matter now represents sole residual embodiment 
     reduced to dust and near nothingness
     former corporeal being of blood, bone and flesh 
     weighing no more than a dozen hatch marks on the scale
     absence still bears down heavy like some millstone round the neck
     per  the black hole void created by defeat with Grim Reaper
     toward this woman who helped birth and nurse me into manhood
     momma’s only grown son still feels ripples of grievous sadness
     no matter the years of suppressed anger and rage
     in addition to emotional conflicts between us 
     which invariably wrought unpleasant relationship
     and a legacy of discord writ large across the tapestry of my life!
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Lucy Paris

(works better when you read 'Suzy Brown' before this)


I tell my father not to cry,
Mum would want us to be happy,
I rock my little brother,
Feed him and change his nappy,

And all the while I try to smile,
And hold it all together,
I used to love helping Mum out,
But I'm reaching the end of my tether,

I saw Suzy Brown the other day,
She seems to be doing the same as me,
Holding it in on the surface but underneath
She must be so unhappy,

Mrs Brown had a bike in her backseat,
She couldn't see my mother,
But they both flew away to Heaven that day,
Or so I told my brother,

Since then, the last thing on my mind
Has been my appearance,
But I think that's the real reason
Behind my friends' non-interference,

People stare at my parting
Where the blonde is growing out,
They just don't seem to understand
I have bigger things to worry about,

I worked hard to afford my clothes and shoes,
But what use is all that when
You're trying to comfort a widowed man,
And you'll never see your mother again?

Everyone knows me around my school,
So it cuts me to the core
That although they know my story,
They don't talk to me anymore,

I know that people used to envy me,
Jealous of every last possession,
It saddens me that they'd be shocked,
To hear my heart's confession;

Everything that makes me Lucy Paris,
I'd gladly give away,
If I could've got there in time to kiss my Mum goodbye,
Or be with her for once more day.


Details | Romanticism | |

What about me?

I’m so very sick of this
I no longer have his touch
I no longer have his kiss
With each passing second
He is the one I will forever miss
And yet love is supposed to be
Happily ever after and filled with endless bliss
I’m telling you though
I’m so very sick of this

I’m completely worn of it
She breaks me down 
Everyday bit by bit
Do this, do that
When these are her things and she’s perfectly fit
To carry the tasks out for herself
Being here is taking its toll and handing me hard hits
Yet I have no where to go
So here is where I sit
Day after day, night after night
But with every breath I take
I’m completely worn of it

For so long I’ve cared for everyone else’s feelings
But now it’s time I take back control
All of this has left my heart, soul, and mind reeling
And on the sleeve of my shirt you will find
Every essence of me bleeding
My mind constantly wonders, thinking of those memories
As slowly but surly my precious time now is what they are stealing
Put it all back where it should be and move on
It’s been too long with me caring for everyone else’s feelings

At the end of the day I’m left here saying what about me?
Never any answer do I have
Just the asking and the questioning
Am I not good enough for you
Am I not good enough to be me
Seems as though you’re ashamed
That is until it’s me with whom you need to be
Perhaps you should both open you’re eyes
But I still doubt at this moment you will ever truly see
Just how special I am
Just how lucky you are to have had me
I’m now trying on my own
To get the hell up off my knees
Where are either one of you?
Hum….you’re over there doing as you please
From all what I am, and from these feeling I will always have
I long something awful to be free
Because as of yet
Neither one of you has come to see
That at the end of each and every single day
I’m the one left here asking what about me?

…….one day in the near future or distant time
You just may open you’re eyes and search
Wondering why it’s me that either of you just can’t any longer find….


Details | Rhyme | |

10/17/75

Why do we have to be so blind
when we're reborn every time
why not use the knowledge gained
when we were called by different names?

Why must we always start from scratch
to err and suffer and illness catch
why does it take us fifty years
of pain and suffering and endless tears?

Oh, to do it all again
knowing what I didn't then.
Would words unspoken in sadness mired
have kept the gun from being fired?


Details | Lyric | |

We Walk Amongst The Faithful

We walk amongst the faithful. Unknown to human eyes. So normal and so human, They can't see through our disguise. The tears of angels made us As they flew down from the sky. They didn't want to do it, So all they did was cry. We're stuck amongst the ruin. The horror and despair. We've seen a bit too closely To the heart of Evil's lair. We walk amongst the faithful. Unknown to human eyes. So normal and so human, They can't see through our disguise. We're scarred up on the inside, But outside we're just fine. We hide the truth so well They can't see into our lies. Our daddies were all drinkers. And when they would get mad, They'd take it out us poor souls, And boy were we so glad When Daddy drank himself to sleep, And we could go and hide. Carve another scar into our heart Which was hidden deep inside. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so human They can't see through our disguise. Our mommies all liked men Perhaps a bit too much They sampled fair and far And didn't mind the touch. When Mommy fell asleep, Her boyfriends would come down And they would scare us half to death And they'd start to mess around. And after they were done Ravaging our broken souls We'd take our chance to run And hide from things we'd never know. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so human They can't see through our disguise. Our families are all broken We have no place to hide No place to let our tears out Let out what hurts inside. And now we sit here all alone In this dark corner as all hope Evades our longing hands We've lost our way to cope. And now we hide our feelings And what they've done to every “me”. We hold our chins up high. We do not let them see. We walk amongst the faithful Unknown to human eyes So normal and so humans Can't see through our disguise We pretend it doesn't happen We can't let anyone know Our traitor of a heart Is something we can't show. Would anyone even understand What we hold inside our hearts? Or would we be a freak show A different world apart? Maybe one day we will find one Every single one of us Someone who will understand Someone we can trust.


Details | Narrative | |

The Road To Peace- part two

When I preyed to you to save me, you laughed
When I prayed to god, I was ignored as well.
So I learned that I would always be alone in this world.
Every day filled with secrets I could never tell.

At ten I could drink your friends under the table.
I was barely afraid of what would happen in the dark.
I knew you were too drunk to hear me scream
And afterwards you refused to acknowledge my marks.

So I stopped trying to fight, I didn’t make a noise.
Because they would hit me less if I was quiet.
Soon I was filled with your same need to escape.
Every day I was on a search to find it.

If it promised oblivion, that was all I asked.
I immediately consumed it and waited for release.
But every time it wore off, I’d find myself there again
Always exhausted by my daily search for peace.

At first I misconstrued it for trying to get away from myself
Until one day I realized I was really running from you.
The spread of your fourth stage cancer of hatred and malice
And your unrelenting cycle of cruelty and abuse.

Your perpetual blame laid on me for your own mistakes
Finally had succeeded in taking its toll.
Years of fending for myself, succumbing to weakness
Had blackened my once pure soul.

For you I could harbor nothing but contempt, disgust.
The same lack of empathy you showed your own child.
I saw that you were at fault for my years of torment.
I made your rage, hatred, disregard appear mild.

I could never give you a strong enough taste.
All I wanted was for you to feel my Rapture.
You tried to silence me once again, tried to lock me up
But I wasn’t weak anymore and I refused to be captured.

I left you to your misery, I relished the fact
That leaving you with no one to catch you next time you fell
Was the most pain I could ever wish to conflict you with
Because then you would finally have to face your self.



Details | Narrative | |

Her Personal Curse (Part One) *warning, graphic in nature*

In a drunken stupor, I fall down on my comforter
Baby blue sky covered in fluffy clouds of cotton.
I kick off my shoes, faded pink chuck Taylors
And make clumsy work of my shirt buttons.

I slip an oversized shirt over my head, Bart Simpson,
And pull it straight passed over my bra and panties, past my knees.
Now in the dark, on my bed, I hear the door creak open.
I turn to see your silhouette, and I hear the door behind you locking.

I sat up, before you lunged on top of me, and smacked me in the face.
I tried to push you off, but a little girl is nothing against a man.
Fear pinned me down with your arms, the look in your eye was crazed.
I yelled out as you punched me again, before stifling my breath with your hand.

I felt your fingers probe underneath my shirt, rough and groping.
The straps tore at my flesh as you ripped my bra apart.
I tried to push your hand off my face, I was having trouble breathing
But when you took your hand off and I gasped for air, it fell back against my cheek hard

I stopped trying to push you away, tears streaming, afraid you’d hit me again.
I bucked when your course fingers pinched, it only seemed to excite you more.
I cringed as you raked your nails deep down my stomach digging in.
You stopped at the top of my panties before yanking them till they tore.

Panic sliced through me as I felt you unclasping your jeans, understanding swept me.
I knew then what you intended to do and my blood ran cold at the thought.
You took your hand off of my mouth and threatened to kill me if I screamed
But I yelled anyway begging for help, preying that you would be caught.

I was silenced by a stinging blow that sent me hard against the head board.
Too disoriented by it to yell again before you were done taking off my t shirt.
Through blurry eyes and mind I felt your eager hands pillage and explore.
I was smacked again for screaming at how badly your fingers inside me hurt.

You showed no mercy as I screamed in pain against the palm of your hand.
You only continued to probe and play, talking dirty to me, making me talk back.
Through bloodied lips and wrenching pain I was abused by this man
He made me say unmentionable things about him, while he cruelly laughed.


Details | Rhyme | |

Why Am I So Selfish?

Why am I so selfish? 
I should think more of her.
But instead of seeing what could be
I'm being so immature.

I know she's truly suffering.
That should be my main concern.
Yet all I seem to think about is...
'Will she ever learn? '

Her lungs are black as tar.
She needs help just to breathe.
Hearing that she'll smoke again
makes me simply seethe.

She knows what she is doing.
She's not a little child.
I thought that only young people
did stuff that's dumb and wild.

Don't set aside the oxygen
so you can have a smoke.
You're dying right in front of me.
This pain is not a joke. 


Details | Rhyme | |

I Beg You

When I heard you were in the hospital
it all became so clear.
I better take advantage of the time 
while you are here.

We need to see eachother
and find a common ground.
It's taken over twenty years
for you to come around.

We've wasted our whole lifetime
There's so much we don't know.
I doubt you know my favorite song
or favorite t.v. show.

You say you've quit the smoking.
I fear it will not last.
If you don't take this seriously
You'll just repeat the past.

I'm begging you sincerely.
You say you'll be my mother.
To do this may take all you have.
Unlike you, I have no other.

You have two other daughters
To step into my place.
You are my only mother
and you cannot be replaced. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Hush Baby

Sh, sh, close your eyes,
silent night broken by your painful cries.
Your heart is broken, I can tell;
it's okay, for mine is as well.
Don't ever wonder why or how,
just know mommy's with the angel's now.
The blood is nothing, mommy just fell,
there's something years from now I have to tell.
Mommy doesn't want you to be sad,
she'd want you happy, so please be glad.
She was a wonderful person, I'm sure you kow,
twenty is much too young to go.
You're also to young, only five,
I'm glad that at least you're alive.
C'mon baby, daddy's here,
we're all alone now, I fear.


Details | Free verse | |

To have and have lost

To have and to have lost is the ultimate pain, 
Knowing that your life will never be the same again. 
That one little missing piece of your jigsaw called life, 
Questions as to what you did to deserve this strife.
Another angel for heaven above 
Empty arms but still the love. 
Never far from your mind 
If only life wasn’t so unkind. 
Little angel I love you so 
Fresh in my thoughts wherever I go. 
xoxo


Details | Rhyme | |

Disappointment

Sweet, little surprises
Due to come in May
Will have to be put off
Until another day.

Things happen
And plans change.
The reasons why
Span a vast range.

There’s a better plan
And you can bet,
That once revealed,
You won’t regret

Having placed your trust
In God above,
As he blesses your life
With abundant love.


Details | Free verse | |

The Cast

Little children slip and get hurt sometimes, in their daily play.
Mine was worse than others… he’s All Boy they would always say.
Not a comforting thought… when my little love, would do it all again.
Frustrations and worries would mount, as to my own son, harm would come.
So I eventually became more than prepared for everything that came along.
He was more than daring, as he spread his wings, his will so strong.

At each event I’d remind him that safety, was the key word to know.
But I’d always find out later that he didn’t remember, what I’d bestowed.
So after that, every single time I’d always remind him of his very first cast. 
The first was at 3 and ½ as he was running and playing, on the tumbling mats. 
When of course he stumbled, 2 toes going north and 3 toes going south.
A cast was in order that lasted one whole week, before practically cracking in half.
The next was reinforced doubly to withstand a whole lot more, after that.
Next week brought another visit to fix a crumbling cast, once more.
It probably had nothing to do… with him hanging upside down on the jungle gym.
This time it was double, doubly reinforced and worked until everyone began to swim.
Even with three counselors watching, he found enough moisture to tear it apart 
again.
Finally at the end of 6 more weeks it was time for the crazy thing to come off.
The next day, you guessed, he tripped and for 3 more weeks they put the cast back 
on.
Now don’t you worry, it eventually, finally, truly did come off…
But next time, it was somewhere else… they soon had to put a new cast on.
The counselors were good and so very kind, and no one else got hurt, except mine.
Every one apologized, as he got hurt, but no one could ever stop him in time.
He was a crafty wild man great at evading, when his mind found the next target, to 
want.
And Fear wasn’t in his vocabulary, as he quickly and energetically, sallied forth.
I couldn’t blame anyone; of course, life for him was simply fuller, than for most.
We all simply gathered around to sign the new cast, each time his life went askew.
There was really very little else that we could do.

The moral to this story as I have often told...
Is to always be prepared for what life and little boys can bestow.


Details | Free verse | |

"Identity"

Gentle, mild, and meek.
Human-strong and weak.

A mask to hide away the pain.
Hard to live with shame.

Good person, good friend.
A ? mark; never seen through to the end.

Chivalry is dead and so is the “good
Samaritan” act.
In this world today, it’s a true, proven fact.

Humble; a little pride, determination is my drive.
If I want things to get better for me,
hope burns on the inside.

Reserved and I move at my own pace.
Steady and slow, less consequences to face.

This is my life; pathetic as it is.
It’s the only one I have; not urs, theirs, hers or his.

I know who I am.
I have too much respect for myself and body; forever condemned.

So if u ask me, 
“Who are u and what I am?

I’ll smile and say, 
			“For I am Poetry!”

Profound, misunderstood, and a lifelong mystery.


Details | I do not know? | |

An Innocent Child

A young homeless child
Looking for a home but finds none.
On my first day at school the mother's not around
To comfort me when I'm down-right scared
An innocent child of seventeen
I find myself locked up in a placement
An innocent child now afraid of time
Will I forget my goals and dreams?
I go to Maryhurst
And meet people who care
I learn about peer pressure and much more
Now comes the time
To break through.....
The Fear


Details | Quatrain | |

Pre-Mortality Angst

We’ve been together since creation.
You’d be my mother, I’d be your son.
We watched each passing generation,
Hoping mankind would continue on.

Our assigned ancestors lived and died,
While perpetuating onward our lineage,
In spite of disease, famines, genocides--
Or wars for lands, religions, or just pillage.

Civilizations rose and fell, rise and fall;
Empires, city-states, kingdoms, and nations.
Our ancestors were amidst them all
Back to our earliest generations.

You and I were held back to a modern age.
Happily mankind managed to carry on
Long enough for us to take the stage.
But there’s a new terror for us: abortion.

Your parents happily wanted you to be,
So I wished you godspeed at the portal.
Saying “see you later” you promised me
That I’d have a chance to live as a mortal.

Now I’m left with my potential descendents,
Hoping that you will soon keep your word,
Because now on you we are all dependent
To perpetuate our family ever onward.


Details | Free verse | |

Summer Abuse

It's summer again
And I hate it
Your abuse is worse in summer
Every summer you do this to me
You call me horrid names
You hurt me physically and mentally
And I'm sick of
I just want to runaway but
If I did then you would be hurt you
I know you don't mean doing these things
But
Don't you understand what it does to me
You say you care about me
But do you really
You know, I don't care anymore
I cared for years 
But now you've gone too far
You're taking me away from
My friends, my boyfriend and even family
Why do you do this
Is it because you hate me
Even if you do
I have too much heart to hate you back
I want to kill you
I really do
But if I do then I might as well kill my self
Ha! There you go again
You're now going to beat me 
because I said 'I love you'
I sigh and go to my room
I pack my bags and leave a note
Saying how much I hate you
I bet you're crying and I'm happy
I'm happy you feel distraught
I hope you have a horrible life starting now


Details | Quatrain | |

Finding Jesus

Story of Jesus from Luke chapter two --
Mary, his mother, was coming undone,
anxiously searching midst those trav’ling through,
hearing her Lord ask, “You can’t find my Son?”

“Was it yesterday, that I saw Him near
Joseph's side?” but quickly dropping her brow.
“How could we lose One most treasured and dear?
Should we return to Jerusalem now?”

Safe in the Temple, at end their pursuit,
capably teaching, God's Son sat unfazed.
Hearing this Boy/Man’s replies so astute 
those who attended His words stood amazed.


Story of Christians from that time to this,
quick three days' journey away from your Lord.
Noticing nothing of what’s gone amiss.
"When did I lose Him – the One I adored?" 

Busy with church, His presence you exclude
without knowing He's been out of your care!
Stopping to listen, fellowship renewed,
your heart's engulfed when Christ speaks to you there.


9


Details | Free verse | |

Mother's Design

Sadness, loneliness, internal hopelessness,
why did she stop listening and caring what was happening in me. 
The other kids, stresses with Dad, betrayal,
or just no time any more. 
When did I lose whatever strength that I had. 
When did I start needing the pain to be salved. 
Certainly by second grade,
by the time of the day dreaming,
staring out of the windows. 
Why has it crippled me so,
continued to starve my heart of its strength and endurance. 
Continued to drain from me creativity and joy. 
So that all I remember is the pain and struggle. 
So that I cry. 
So that my heart hurts. 

This crying is wrong,
this hurting is wrong,
this needing is wrong,
this me is wrong. 

My mother too vivid. 
My pain too awful. 
What was my mother to do? 

Could she have said:
"You're a boy, express yourself, show yourself. 
Be a man. Uncover your nature. 
Show yourself, 
You will need to be virile, whole, engaged, reveling in sensuality to be a man. 
You will need to be smart, in touch, enjoying the game. 
Talk about it.,
Say what you need.  
Ask what you want. 
Go on from there. 
Be, be you."

Tis too late now for that. 
My world is spun. 
It doesn't encourage discovery.
It needs order. 
It needs peacefulness.
It needs relief.


2010


Details | Blank verse | |

Family Values

Family Values?
My great grandmother was your family values.
She scrubbed your floor and burped your baby, while my great grandfather 
looked for work as a dishwasher.
When have you ever valued my family?
I work, my will work.
You give her six weeks maternity.
I have no pension, sometimes the tension the builds and I scream at my 
daughter.
One time she had lost her keys and sat outside until I got home.
Where had she been to get those bruises?
When have you ever valued my family?
Yes, you like me to work.
But your dogs chase my daughter when she walks on your yard.
Your eyes wave sticks at my face when I drive by your home.
Family Values?
Where is your God?
Mine is nearby.
I pray one day that your lies choke on his truth.
Until then, I seethe in the heart of my suit 5 days a week, waiting for your death or 
awakening.


Details | Rhyme | |

Same Old Nightmare

I'm having that same old nightmare.
I'm running through the sand...
I've reached the place where someone is...
They're reaching out their hand.

Just as I try to take it
they yank their hand away.
I try to hollar for some help
but there's nothing I can say.

I have no voice to yell with.
No words can be let out.
The tears are streaming down my face.
I'm fighting just to shout.

I need someone to save me
but that someone will not stay.
I have to force myself to stop...
just turn and walk away. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Cease

There was this little girl,
Her Mama's world.
Who frowned and drowned,
From her fears and tears.
She could never bare,
The fact that someone cares.
One day she ran away,
Never to think she'd miss the light of day.
Her Mama cried.
Thinking she had never tried.
Police stepped to the door,
Glancing at the bloody floor.
"I cease the day,
My daughter gets away.
Forever hold my peace,
As I let this trigger release.
The daughter dropped to her knees,
Asking her mother Why oh please?
She shut her eyes,
As she prayed to the skies.


Details | Rhyme | |

Suzy Brown

Everybody's laughing at me,
And as usual I know why,
I look like such a loser
With this streaky blonde hairdye,

Why Mum couldn't take me to
The hairdresser, I'll never know,
Instead she got back from work early
To personally have a go,

She looked upset when I yelled at her
'Cause she can't do anything right,
I didn't speak to her for weeks
'Til I wanted some cash the other night,

At least I bought these cool new shoes
To cancel out my hair,
They look just like Lucy Paris's,
They were forty pounds a pair!

Mum cried when I told her
That I'd been mugged up by the mall,
This guy took all our shopping money,
But his face I can't recall.

"It's because I was on foot," I said,
"Now if I'd had a new bike,
It never would have happened."
So she said sorry and squeezed me tight.

I've been called to matron's office,
Who could be calling me at school?
Oh well, a chance to paint my nails
While I'm waiting on the stool,

Ooh, Lucy Paris is here as well,
I hope people see me with her!
Must reapply my make-up
Whilst matron's in a dither,

Something about my Mum, a car,
Blah blah, the hospital,
What? I get to go home early now?
I can go out shopping, cool!



(works better when you read 'Lucy Paris' after this)


Details | Free verse | |

Why is the rain blue

	

    I shall try to explain,

    but the world is not logical.

    the bank notes are old and crinkling.

    your face appears like it's own negative

    the wind glows and the sun howls.

    why is the rain blue?

    i wanted a new weapon but the rainbow was

    too long,i need something small and portable,

    like a pen i once had.

    just a pencil and paper will be fine,

    but please look round.

    we're all related in the DNA

    but the fighting goes on, for what?

    does it matter my great grandfather was a Viking

    who killed when necessary

    or my grandmother sang in Gaelic

    and swooned over dead children?

    i can't see but i hear their voices murmur.

    a blue and a brown will go together

    like Harris tweed.

    shall i give you some needles to patch yourself

    before it's too late?

    i have long threads and connections for you,

    if you will listen.

    you don't need the A to Z of London

    in this world

    it's not relevant any more

    to know exactly where you are,

    just use the finger tips to feel the cave walls.

    do we know whether to go back or forward

    or even upside down?

    trust the sense of bones and nerves

    and the sea in our veins

    linking us all

    into a human whole.


Details | Free verse | |

Hurting Inside

Don't you see
What your doing to me
Every turmoil and fight
Leaves me feeling so low.

Carving a scar into my heart
Like a knife to the tree bark
I feel it starting to cut
As the stinging pain
Aches in my soul.

All the blasted howling
Every empty threat spoken
Saying you don't care
About nothing at all,
But I care deeply.

Words spoken so sharp
Like the scissors that clip
Clipping away at my heart
Happiness that once resided
Slowly replaced by sadness.

I've put up with it all
From the day I was born
But now I'm starting to feel
That I'm going to pieces.

One by one
Inch by inch
Slowly, but surely
My soul shrinking

If I scrap my shoulder
I won't mind at all
For the real pain resides
Inside my fragile heart.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Never---------is the right time Exit------stage left

From tots barely walking unaware of life’s fears.
To the rich in spirit and full of years.
A bright torch, now extinguished……results in tears.

For blood, friends, and neighbors raw unchecked emotions surface……love, guilt, hate, anger…it’s a varied toss.

Realizing you will never contact, hear, or see your loved one again, only deepens the emotional loss.

Do what you gotta do, to make it through.

Forgive yourself….if need be seek professional help, beats wearing a strait jacket long sleeved.

To the living of dearly departed matriarchs, mothers, women rest assured; “A lady always knows when to leave”…..


Details | Than-Bauk | |

quote me CHAPTER and CURSE

          QUOTE ME BY CHAPTER AND CURSE

No, seriously there are people worse then me, and I’m a lothario and a liar
But then there are these douche bags who see an empty warehouse and for fun set it afire
I commit crimes and hold people I have pity for as hostage while holding a gun
But stoned cold junkies, unlike me, do horrendous things solely for fun

I knocked down and old lady……………….. cane and f*****g all
Once I had her bread you think I gave a damn that she’d fall?
S**t, I’d rob my grandmother and later on promise her a soft and silken shawl
And listen, when robbing an inhabited home the floorboards will squeak
if you walk but not if you crawl

Turn your back on me b***h, I dare you, and leave that diamond ring right there
By the time you turn back around the diamond is gone and my running footsteps is all you’d hear
Invite your folks over for dinner on Thursday but tell your mom you want to see some jewels
You keep them busy, while I rob them blind because one thing I ain’t is one those PHun-loving PHools 

What I am saying essentially and I hope effectively is that there are certain people you simply can’t trust
The ones who think havoc is a game, for there are none so blind and ashes to ashes and dust to dust
I’ll climb up a six story building  because I know there are riches in apartment six “B”
Christ, I’ll beat a man half to death if I want something of his and he doesn’t agree

So look out for the ones who lie like a Lothario and will rob you blind
And you all deserve to be robbed because you’re rich and undoubtedly kind
While the old lady was dressing I was undressing her closet of gold
And when you stare into my sky blue pink eyes realize there ain’t nothing of yours I wouldn't have sold  

I’ll wield a sword honed so sharp and a very frightening knife
And believe me my acts of thievery would be rife
I harm, threaten and rob people and then go home to my wife
She makes a really good pot roast, and knows I could never really take a life  
           © 2011.….Phreepoetree ~free cee!~



Details | Rhyme | |

9/11, 2001 " Page 2 of 2 "

Intelligence first, Retribution next
Clinical response the worlds text
Which free country is next in line
To be hit by this cowardly crime.
 
New York Cities patriots, suffer further pain
As Fire Officers and Police are slain
They indeed are part of this attack
So many of them never came back
Honourable dads, cousins and wife's
Mourn their lost ones, who lost their lives.
 
The World will remember
This September deathly sound
When iconic giants crashed to the ground
Hero's in the air, and on Manhattan Earth
Proved to us all, whats humans are worth.

In respect to the decent people who perished on that September day.


Details | I do not know? | |

BEAT

Anger;  Frustration.
Aimed at me, when it’s really misplaced and
Should be directed inward for introspection

Don’t reject the possibility of your own negative effect.
For your angst and desire to cut,
Past all you insecurities,
I can see you are hurting.  Certainly!

How could you not, with all the apparent physicality
It is your spirit that is sacrificed, in actuality,
When your decision to stay becomes their reality.
At least do it for your children!

Your complaisant view of separation and departure,
deteriorates beyond the sanctity of mother.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

The Damage Will Always Be There

The Damage Will Always Be There


I cried,I bleed,And now my heart longer beats the same way it did before I meet you.My heart feel broken,i feel like a rag doll played with over and over again only to be thrown away.I miss your love but now your gone and my hearts ache the most it has ever.There are time's I wonder if  I have been lying to myself,I must be because my heart should fee lighter it should feel like a free winged bird but it not.The damage the cuts the sores they shall be with my from happy time to sad time because you put them there.You who I looked up to you never promised I know but it aches from every thought of you.How come how come I must be alone in this world? It sound selfish but I only want you back to be here beside me and tell me you love me and I'm doing a great job with everything.Why does it hurt to think of you?why does it pain me to want to be lose to anyone?why does everyone leave me behind when I need them the most?why am I so closed up with a stone wall full of hate surrounding my heart?I know it shouldn't be there but do you? In time the cut will heal and the sores shall vanish.But what about the feelings and the damage inflicted upon them will never leave.Yes it sounds so cliche yes you've heard it all before.But really and this is know this is said this is everything I know.The damage is there no matter how much it seems to have healed.

For my grandmother who i lost now 5 years ago Granny i miss you i wish you would have fought for us a little longer then you did.


Details | Rhyme | |

What Happened

What happened to the mother I thought I knew?
What happened to the mother who always told the truth?
What happened to the mother that was always there?
What happened to the mother that always cared?
What happened to the joy I once had?
What happened to your smile that would make me glad?
What happened to the mother daughter days?
What happened to the sweet things you used to say?
What happened to having both parents, not just one?
What happened to the days you'd brighten just like the morning sun?
What happened to the faith you helped me have?
What happened? Why am I always mad?
What happened to you being close and never too far?
What happened to me knowing who you really are?
What happened to the role model I used to know?
Why did you drift away from me?
What happened to us both?
Why don't I come first?
I thought you were happy when you gave birth
Now I'm here all alone
With a empty heart followed by a broken home
I love you mommy
What the hell happened to you ?
I thought blood was thicker than water
But, I guess to you that isn't true


Details | I do not know? | |

Wicked Step Mom

Never did look you in the eye,
Explain to you why you make me cry,
The wicked step mom, 
Mad at me but I did nothing wrong,

Kissing your feet,
Wish I could push delete,
Erase every single apology,
I'd have no fuel for my anthology

Insecurities were transparent,
You cast a spell on my parent,
Spellbound, he made you number one,
You beat his first born son,
He had to chose between us or you,
Boy did we sure loose..

On the flip side,
Not sure why I gripe,
It's obvious he's not worth my time,
And you? Well....you're not worth a dime.


Details | Blank verse | |

I Don't

I don’t want to talk about mum
About the bonds that tie us together
Like two leaden weights
I don’t want to hear
About how I should be
More this and that
About how I keep breaking the mould
On which you consistently reapply

I don’t want to listen
To how your problems are mine
About how I’m not good enough
About how I upset you
About how I’m not like you
About how I let you down
About how worried you are for me
About how you don’t see me for days, weeks
I don’t want to know
About your emotional strings
Sticky you throw at me
I don’t want to feel
Less than I am
At your expense

I don’t want to reapply my make up
Brush my hair
Wear the coat I hate
And that does not fit
I don’t want an analysis
Or to be told that you know best
I don’t want a hug
Laden with treaties and hidden agendas
I don’t want an empty promise

I don’t want it
What your offering


Details | Free verse | |

If You Do Not Wish to See Me Naked Avert Your Eyes Now

I enjoy walking in the rain,
I enjoy wet
much like men do, yet do not love it
sorry mother- I’m being vulgar again- avert
your eyes now, dear sweet innocent thing
for I did not come from rain but pure man-made sunshine, yes?
The cogs and bolts of it all, no cinnamon red
just the grey, in which you dressed yourself. 


Details | I do not know? | |

My Final Goodbye Notes

It's the fear 
of an early departure
mixed with knowledge
of things left unsaid.

I sit biting my lip
as I write this.
I don't notice the pain
till I've bled.

Do I say 
''Goodbye'' or ''See ya later''? 
Overwhelmed by this
feeling of dread.

They all know that my heart
was made for them
(or made by them
as I've often said) .

I must go with the plan of returning
still I plan so I leave no regrets.
I have written my final goodbye notes
with the hopes they will never be read. 


Details | Free verse | |

Consider Our Requirements

Consider our education
Take us to school on time so that we'll not miss a fraction of a lesson
Could you take that as a responsibility?

We need someone to drive us to school
It's not the same to ride in the car without you
You say you don't have time to consider our requirements
It's not the same to ride in the van without you
We need someone to bring us to school

Consider our requirements
Drive us to school on time so that we'll avoid tardy sweeps
Take that as your upcoming responsibility!


Details | Free verse | |

Preach

Preach to the full moon soldier
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder

Mother has child that father denies
Leaves when his baby lets out those first cries
Excuses flying, lies sailing; words without care
Feelings are complicated so share you don't dare
Lips that smile hold some bruises and a cut
Hands that have done the damage slam the door shut
You watch him out the window glass
Retreating figure gone at last

Preach to the full moon soldier
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder

Things get harder, mothers fired
Baby is toddler and much too tired
Money is in short supply
If only father would just comply 
To help raise his growing kid
Instead he ran and lost his bid
A single tear stains the cheek
Of a mother's soul who's much too weak

Preach to the full moon soldier 
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder

Mothers dead, everything's blown
Toddler is small child left alone
Father drunk, stumbling back
Custody left to this piece of slack
Days are long and too far gone
Nights are worse, he's never done
Talking his beer scented words speaking
He says to his child be kind, PREACHING

Preach to the full moon soldier 
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder

Small child has developed
Distinguished individual moving up
Swearing to the sky blue
They will be nothing like you
Father in jail thief from the night
Cell lit dimly with pal moonlight
A smile to the grown child
A tear from the man of the wild

Preach to the full moon soldier
It's all you've got left as the nights grow colder


Details | Free verse | |

Initial Thoughts of Hatred (Extended Version)

I'm sick and tired! So very tired!
Of you putting me down
From now on... I'll just stand up!
On my own two feet...

I refuse to put up with your trash again
And I refuse to just stand and take it
I won't allow you to mess with my mind
No longer will your threats bother me
You may try and scare me if you like
But any word you say is useless
You have no control of where I go
This is my life! Not your own!

I don't want you to look at me as a trophy
Because I refuse to go down the path you want
There is a time when one has to grow up
Enough is enough! I'm forced to leave you
No more of your lies will enter my ears
I refuse to take part in it
I have to try and make it myself
And it's my choice to suceed or fail

I "hate" you
I "dislike" you
I just don't like you!

I'm sick and tired! So very tired!
I just want to be away from you!
I refuse to have someone else dictate
My very life...

The sooner I escape, the better off I'll be
Though it may seem hopeless at the moment
I admit that I have made alot of mistakes
But I promise to not repeat them again
I am not a perfect human being
I am prone to make many mistakes
But at least I will learn from them
Unlike you! You're just a hypocrite!

You expect too much of me and its wrong
And when I fail, its the end of the world
You make life seem harder than necessary
Especially after I have grasped it already
If I were to share my knowledge
Then I bet you'd be amazed
It will rival even yours
Or should I say eventually surpass it

You "fear" me
You're "afraid" of me
You are "scared" of me!

That's how it should be! You're scared of me!
And it should stay that way
Since you think that, you try and put me down
Bt it won't work...

I "hate" you
Go and "hate" me
I don't need you anymore!
Go and "fear" me
I don't "fear" you
You're really nothing to me!

I'm sick and tired now! Very tired now!
Just leave me be!
Stop trying to... torment me
Any further...
My respect for you! Is gone now!
Just go away!
Getting rid of the... trash in my life
Is the first step to my happiness!


Details | Rhyme | |

A Mothers Cry

A Mothers cry comes from deep in the soul
The sound is even strange to her, truth be told
It is natural yet wild as it rips through her heart
A thought of her child suffering can tear her world apart
She would give her own life and that's just a start
Could a Mother's cry be a cry straight from God's Heart?


Details | I do not know? | |

For my Mother

For a Mother.

 

she left me

with only the thoughts of her embrace to warm me

in frigid mornings of tomorrows yet to come

she left me

with her words of tender truths to shroud me

in the coming evenings of stabbing sleet and hail

she left me

yet she stays forever within me

in my waking dreams

and in my restful thoughts

she stays forever within me

she remains an abiding part

of the love

the pain

the tears

and never shall we be

truly apart

 


Details | Lyric | |

Blood of a liar, mark of a thief

You took it all
(I held my breath)
You screamed my name
(as you fell to your death)
The crowed gathered round
but I stood tall
with your body laying so broken
you've never looked so small

The rain started pouring down
(oh how I smiled)
There were sirens in the distance
(only a half a mile)
Down below the screaming sounds
I can't hear a thing
everyone's gaze is upon me
waiting for the once caged bird to sing

(Liar)
You promised me everything
did your words mean nothing
were they empty
lifeless without a theme
(Thief)
You took hold of my heart
shredded my soul, raped my mind
did it mean anything
was I even worth it
ir just another part to your scheme

The rain washes away the evidence
(the blood, sweat, and tears)
But rain can't wash away everythng
(no, not everything)
not the pain suffered through the years

Your words were so sweet
who was I to judge
I fell for your parlor tricks
over the edge with one small nudge
Such a beautiful disguise you wore
silly little me
I fell into your web of lies
far too young to ever see

(Liar)
You promised me everything
did your words mean nothing
were they empty
lifeless without a theme
(Thief)
You took hold of my heart
shredded my soul, raped my mind
did it mean anything
was I even worth it
ir just another part to your scheme

You could have been mine
(does it hurt now, hush, be quiet now)
You sold your soul for a good time
(does it hurt now, hush, don't speak now)
Did you think I'd never know?
(does it hurt now, does it hurt now)
Now you must reap the crop you've sewn

(Liar)
You promised me everything
did your words mean nothing
were they empty
lifeless without a theme
(Thief)
You took hold of my heart
shredded my soul, raped my mind
did it mean anything
was I even worth it
ir just another part to your scheme

(Liar)
You had such a pretty little plan
(Thief)
Carried out by such a careless little man


Details | Blank verse | |

I

She calls I a thousand names
The black witch of the south
The I in evil
The nothing that lies between
The namesayer
And the timekeeper
The thousand ticking boxes
The terror in the midst
The horseman and the thief
The alien and the astronaut
That came knocking
The air that sucked her lungs
The bitter aftertaste of sugar
The candle that burns bright
The penny that stole the truth
The fantasy leaping from the page
The trouble in the woods
The headline and the news
The temptation that makes men blind
The kiss of death
The final straw

Yes she calls me all these things
And yet all I offered was love


Details | I do not know? | |

Give Life

I wish I could feel the joyous kick
The occasional summer salt
The swimming inside of me

I wish I could look on that monitor
See what they see
Hear what they hear

That tiny face
Those hands and feet
A heartbeat strong

I will never have that
I will never receive such a blessing
I will never get to hold that baby

There are so many mothers
So many who don’t care
So many who do…

While those of us who long for just one time
While others terminate one after another
I cringe at the thought

How could anyone end it
How could anyone end life
No matter what the circumstance

That baby inside deserves life
Give that baby a life
Give us a chance
Let us adopt
Don’t take their life


Details | Free verse | |

Heel

Absolutes are irresolute;
your irresponsibility is to blame.

How dare you
beckon me to your side

when you don't even know which side you are on?


The dawn comes too quickly and we have no idea that
we are even talking,
or breathing,

at least consiously.

Our dance and chat comes
easily,

fluid 

like
the pus within
an infected wound
that we hope would never kill us

yet 

it might be the 
bee that stung too deeply

into the heel that felt no pain

of the Achilles 
that his mother hoped to save
by dunking him into the polluted pond.

mother superior will not be able to save you now, darling.

That is because I have you now.


Details | Free verse | |

A Mother of Many

Over cooked. 
No one eats it. 
It becomes a Mother.
A nurturing feast.
of Maggots. 
At least it has more heart than you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Will I Still Go To Heaven If I Envy?

I watch them from the corner of my eye.
(because I don't want them to think I'm weird) 
I wonder how I could get what they have.
I wonder what happened 
that made my own mom turn away.

Do they know I watch them? 
Can they see the lump in my throat? 
Did I blink my tears away quick enough? 
Do they know? 
I hope not.

I know it's a sin to envy.
I just can't stop myself.
I want to....I know how it seems.
It's embarrassing.
It's crazy to want somebody to love you
if they don't.

But, I still want a mom.
One that would come over and visit
and ask how the kids are doing.
One that offers me a hug
when she hears how I'm hurting.

One that loves me.


Details | Rhyme | |

9/11, 2001 " Page 1 of 2 "

9/11, 2001
Tuesday morning when it all began
Four Jet Airliners 
Hi-jacked at will
To fly their mission
To kill, blood spill
 
Target chosen
New York City
No questions asked
No pity
 
Internal flight
Laid-en with fuel
Turned off course
To the Hi-jackers rule
Islamist, al-Qaeda is the name they claim
What honest faith
Would want this fame
To take these lives on this September day
It's not what religion should portray
 
Nineteen jackers, whats on their minds
To do their deed on their own mankind
No scriptures, books of the olden day
Would let any brother, be slain this way
What battle would be, without seeing your killers eyes
This nineteen, the world despise
 
Our modern world on camera caught
Jet Airliners flying the next so fraught
North Tower hit by flight 11
Then the South by flight 175
All aboard the planes, would not survive
Many compatriots would also die.
To this day i wonder why?
 
CNN and TV crew's 
Capture, man's cruelty to man
It makes you spew
The cowards that commandeered these planes
Are not religious, plainly insane
 
To be on the ground and look above
Two Manhattan giants
New Yorkers grew to love
Taken down by evil beings
They can't believe what they are seeing

Two explosions in just under an hour
Office life is about to shower
Paper and life fall to the ground
Silenced grief makes no sound
To New York City, that never sleeps
In a state of mourning that will presently weep
 
We hear on the news, Washington's been hit
The Pentagon, yea that's it
One of the four, also has it's say
On this dark September day

In Pennsylvania
The fourth still in flight
Passengers on board
Try with all their might
Overcome the scum 
Who hi-jacked their plane
The next hour would never be the same
 
Somerset County is where she fell
These brave civilians,
As calls will tell
To try and claim the plane that's theirs
So suppress those infidel curs>


Details | Free verse | |

Heirlooms

Opal grandmother eyes,
watery milk glass veins
in stick arms
throb weakly,
tense tight white thread
into frayed, thin quilts.

There is a slight rustle
of desperation, a hope
of completion
as smudged pigeons
shatter wind
and winter gives up
its gin clear grace.


Details | Free verse | |

Oyster days

Oyster days 
=
Can she remember her days 
inside an oyster, cocooned
and alike a ‘thirst’, waiting?
Now it is a great city 
where her painted dwelling 
overlooks the marine-drive,
now resembles a pearls’ string 
with all those inviting lights.

She has friends for parties, chats, 
for cheers and for gossips; 
now that she has opened up. 
A small town is there 
in her deepest memories.
Can she remember her days 
inside an oyster, cocooned
and alike a ‘thirst’, waiting?

Does she remember her days 
inside an oyster, cocooned
and alike a ‘thirst’, waiting;
when calamities come
like swift toed stranger wearing
a galling grin and knowing,
she has no protective shell
of zinc, iron, calcium?

The needle marks and habits 
are washed at the rehab.
Doctor prescribes this or that, 
for stress, for mind and for health.
She almost laughs at a pill. 
It is boasting to be made 
out of oyster elements.

All is coming back to her. 

=© 2009 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar 


Details | I do not know? | |

Whatever You Say, Mother

I'm selfish when I
Don't do what you want,

I'm a sook if I'm
Disliking what you do,

Pathetic when I
Say the way you are,

And a liar when I
Say these things are true.


~Written in 2003 (Monday, 10th, March) when I was fourteen.


Details | I do not know? | |

Going Home

I am tired,
I am tired and broken and I
Want to go home.
“Home is where the heart is”
Well my heart it does roam…
I am tired, I am broken, and I
Want to go home.
Pick up the pieces,
House built of sticks,
Heart built of sorrow,
Pain built of bricks.
“Home is where the heart is”
Well, my heart it does roam….
I am tired, and broken, and I 
Want to go home.
Her arms made of lilies,
Face freckled, and pale,
A heart made for breaking,
A soul made to sail,
Left a lone body 
Too young yet to warm,
Left a lone body
Too wet yet to mourn,
“Home is where the heart is”
Well, my heart it does roam,
For I am tired, and broken, and I
 Want to go home.
The lips do not tremble,
The eyes do not tear,
The feet do not stumble,
The soul does not fear,
The journey’s a long one,
Many miles yet to go,
The journey takes a strong one,
Many miles yet to know….
Many miles left to wonder,
Many miles left to pass,
Birth a great swath of sadness
‘til I’m home safe at last.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Mother

Mother shot father and I don’t see
How this came to be
Mother shot father and I can't hear
The sound of gunfire ringing in my ear

In my room I sit 
A cigarette in my hand, asking to be lit
Mother shot father and I don’t know why
I can't seem to find the tears to cry

Mother shot father
Bam bam bam
Mother shot father
Bam bam bam

A bullet straight to the head
And now daddy is dead
Two more shots, just to be sure
Its all a blur

Mother shot father 
And then mother shot mother 
Here I sit, in my room alone
The words in my head an endless drone

Mother shot father
Mother shot mother
If I shoot myself 
Will all the blame lie with mother?


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Hunger Knows Caution

The forest was so still and my heart calm.
The frogs in the pond croak welcoming in the morning air.
A fog sweet, wet, hazy-grey blankets us cloaking my spotted hide,
muting the mornings’ echo.

Though mother has left, she, dearest Hunger has not.
Deep in my entrails, the two-legged hunters so desire;
she, Hunger stirs, twisting a preemptive knife of warning.

Only small buds rise on my head where antlers will be by fall.
Death waits breathless on the breeze.
Hunger, dearest Hunger
knows Death.

Father was lost to Death on a bright fall morn.
My ears turn, a branch crumbles beneath the weight of ...
Hunger knows Caution and tosses her head within my tender hide.
My fur rises at her discomfort. She is not satisfied.
Yet, I would flee, holding her close to my heart.
I leap away from the clearing over a fallen log
shaped like a bobcats tail curling.

The forest of conifers is dense and deep.
The weak morning sun does not enter and Hunger approves of the privacy.
Sometimes, I wonder, as I eat the sweet stalks of wild onions
without mother or father; would I be here in this majesty, 
without my dearest, without Hunger.
Would the hunter hunt me without his Hunger?


Details | Free verse | |

Teen Angst

“Alice!”
I wondered
Why she called my name
Another days lecture
Or a little nagging pain
“Alice!”
Forget it
I won’t talk to her today
No more petty put downs
About my habits and my ways
“Alice!”
That woman 
She won’t tell me who I am
I’ll get some things together
Maybe I’ll run, if I can
“Alice!”
It’s endless
I hate the way she cries
Whenever something happens
Whenever someone dies
“Alice!”
I loathe her
The way she’ll hit me only once
I can’t stand my own self sacrifice
And how it come through in her touch


Details | Free verse | |

Honor Thy Parents

`Honor thy father and mother` ~Ten Commandments it is She who has given birth to me, it is He who has worked to raise me, it is They who have given me life and kept me alive. I should be expressing my eternal gratitude, My undying respect and sworn obedience, yet what do I do? Their kindness and love, I forsake, Their faces, weary from working to support me, I curse at, The loyalty, respect and gratitude they deserve, I forget. I bury myself with guilt, I don`t know how to ask forgiveness, I find it hard to express my feelings with honesty. I have at least filial piety, Obligated by nature and by God, to honor my parents. Yet till now I always curse them when I don`t mean to, I answer back before I stop my cursed mouth, and I don`t give them to honor they deserve. I am the worst daughter, I have the best parents, I cry myself to sleep.


Details | Free verse | |

Accept My Hugs

How could I sense when people are in need of hugs? 
I always had that loving heart
Now what happened to it? 

I'm in big trouble...ragged with loathe 
My hugs don't hold the same feelings
It chokes the living from their shelter
It makes them weak...I slowly swelter 

If I offered you a hug, 
Will you accept it
Or leave me hanging there? 

How could I sense when people are in need of hugs? 
I always have had that loving heart
Now what happened to the love that shields us all?
How did this horrid situation tear us all apart? 

My hugs hold no importance...lacking desire
It only feeds the fire
Not the helpless in heart 
It clusters annoyance in the soul 

If I offered you a hug, 
Will you accept it? 
or leave me hanging there? 
Now I'm lustered in wrath...

I fear that dad will lose you 
Just over a single hug given by him...
Your affectionate embraces feel so grim 
Restrain from losing yourself
Accept his hugs that hold such guiltless charity

Free from faithless arguments...don't hold on to worthless words

If he offered you a hug, 
Will you accept it
Or leave him hanging there in the freezing cold?

His hugs aren't sold
Like a piece of perishable gold
To an ignorant form just like you
It holds freedom...it's all true 

If he offered you a hug, 
Accept them and appreciate his offer
Because he doesn't dwell on the negativity
Feel free to say your last goodbyes
But, remember us as our family departs...and dies

If He offered you a hug, 
Will you accept it
Or leave Him hanging there in the freezing cold
Without His healing arms
Cradling you and your family throughout the furious night? 

If he offered you a hug, 
Will you accept it
Or leave him hanging there? 

It wouldn't be a dissappointment
If you would willingly
Accept his hugs

We would be drowning with excitement
If you would certainly
Accept OUR hugs


Details | I do not know? | |

No Sound

I hate it when she comes my way.
I hate it when she speaks to me.
I hate how it sounds.
I hate is when she talks at all.
I hate to see her smile when I don't feel a thing.
If I'm feeling happy, she always ruins the mood.
I hate to hear her silence, when I want to hear her voice.
And when I need an answer, it further fuels my hate for her.
I hate it when I need to talk, and there's no one there at all.
But I hate it when I need some space, and she smothers all the room.
I hate to see her cry, and seeking some attention.
I won't comfort her. When she speaks, it makes me mad.
I hate it when she looks at me.
I hate it when she's there.
I hate this awful life.
I don't feel anything. I don't feel it.
I hate it all, any time at all.
I hate it.

Some times I don't know what to feel.
So I don't.
I listen.
I can hear.
My mind has gone blind.
I can't see. My mouth is deaf. I don't feel.


~Written in 2003 (Tuesday, 18th, March) when I was fourteen.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dirty trick

It’s 3:15 am and you’re out walking the street

Been a long night for you, treated like fresh meat

Only sixteen, shaking your stuff for the boys

Moving that tight can with your bag full of toys

A john here and there, what the hell, just another lay

Use me, rape me, push it in deep, whatever you have to say

Your old man’s got three other tarts; it is his trick of the tail

All young hot girls on the street, fresh meat for sale

You’re just another runaway, sometimes getting beat

Too close to the fire, you’re gonna get burned, you don’t even feel the heat

One night a trick goes bad, they find you the next day dead

The last thing going through your mind was something your momma always said

Baby girl, don’t get yourself in the world alone and lost

You have no idea what it will do, no measure of the cost


Details | Quatrain | |

FREE CEE please stay planted for me

               PLEASE STAY PLANTED FOR ME

Oh lady of the sun please don't leave before the spring
the time when Mother Nature shows off what she can bring
mother nature said “flowers shouldn't be for sale”
as brown and dead removed their veil

they shed their masks of coldness and snow
so that the tulips and hydrangeas may grow
flowers shouldn't be for sale but just for show
that lovers may sit in the palette of a garden so please, my dear, don't go

it's almost time for a picnic by that lake
and if it be your will my heart is yours to take
should my voice be stilled and my legs become too weak for me
if I cannot command words let Mother Nature's pride speak for me

stay until the bluebirds return to your yard of grinning green
when the garden demands it the most scintillating scene you've ever seen
please don't leave me now at the springtime's request
when the roses bloom and the soil become their cradle and their nest
   © 2012....copyright PHREEPOETREE ~free cee!~

 


Details | Quatrain | |

THE REAGAN'S WAR ON BUGS

      THE HANDIWORK OF MOTHER FUC>>>>>>NO, I MEAN 
                                             MOTHER NATURE
I used to sit right here complimenting Mother Nature on her handiwork
Please excuse me momentarily for I have some coffee to perk
Okay, now where was I, oh yes I was talking about nature now soiled
And damn it, my coffee over-boiled

So as I was saying I used to sit here complimenting every rose
PORTENDING Platitudes I knew they wanted to hear, like she’s the most beautiful bud that grows 
This very spot was a sanctuary for any bird who spotted a place for him to bathe and drink
They thought me, quite frankly, philanthropic, or at least that’s what I think

Squirrels used to seed the lawn with peanuts, cookies and bread
Buried for when the lion blows in lest they all be dead
Some were gregarious, some of them were shy
But I remember this one particular squirrel guy

He’d come in my lap and dare me not to think him cute
He was adorable with well stuffed cheeks to boot
I look back on those days as dream colored fantasies
Where there WAs no sickness, illness nor disease

Those squirrels no longer dig up that which let’s them live
And besides, because of carcinogens in the air I have no peanuts to give 
Birds NO LONGER TO to bathe in polluted water filled with bugs
I’m telling you man, the important thing to save is the planet and forget a losing war on f*****g drugs
            © 2011.….Phreepoetree ~free cee~! 


Details | ABC | |

Dear Mother (change the e to a u)

Dear mother, can you remember me
here a clue my name begins with d
the one you left so you could be free

Try to explain, you’ll be told
TO FECK UP

Thou in life I have failed
at least I tried, you fecking bailed

Dear Cathy, do you like to joke?
I do allot, but it’s a cloak
cover all feelings, emotions broke

Try to explain, you’ll be told
TO FECK UP

Thou in life I have failed
at least I tried, you fecking bailed

Dear miss Scott, I’m not unreasonable
I’m sure you were unstable
i always deal with what on my table

Try to explain, you’ll be told
TO FECK UP


Details | Free verse | |

Too far gone

Too far gone
His minds so lifted
A soul so gifted ,but dragged beneath the ground
6 feet deep lies his intentions
He not doing much, just living
Not trying much ,but what he’s given
He doesn’t read and has no needs other than looking flying and gettin some b!&*^es
But with his momma is where he's living, with no ambition
this sits heavy on her heart
Single mom working so hard
do it all alone, all on her own
18 years all for a failure
18 years giving him what she was failed to her
for her son,
she lead a life marked with good intentions, but still missed the mark
She can't breathe at night thinking about her son, the black tar cancer marking her lungs
Out being a fool; slick by the tongue but dull by the brain
In her world the clouds are always low, theirs always rain
falling heavy on her conscience
The mother of a failure...feel her pain
Like a mother cradling a still born son
He’ll never grow; he'll never change
All her love in vain
Words of wisdom wasted on her bastard son
More like his father every day, soon he'll just run away
And honestly deep inside she cannot wait
She’s bitter
Cause she's fighting tooth and nail in a battle that's already won
The world vs. a mother
The world has her son


Details | I do not know? | |

Stress and Pain

One big happy said fairytale
Take the pain and no gain
Take the slights and not retribution
Take it all in without an out.

Exploding from the inside out
In silence, crying, hurting, writhing in pain and misery
Never knowing what it’s like to be just okay
Never knowing what it’s like to have love unconditional

Hated and revered 
Don’t show them the pain 
They don’t understand,
You are the one that is in wrong. 

Take it all 
Deal with it
Live with it
It’s your fault he’s like this

You carried him
You made him the way he is. 
Deal with the pain and suffering
Deal with the stress and the dirty looks

It’s always your fault 
No one else’s 
You should know that by now. 
Take you punishment and like it

God’s listening but this is his plan
Pain and suffering for those that screw up
No love for those that dare to be of a different mold. 
No salvation for the wicked souls of men

Shut it up 
Swallow it down
No one cares
No one’s around

No tears will make a difference
No whining will help the cause
No yelling will change people’s minds
No matter what you do you won’t be accepted


So….why try? 
Be yourself no one else
If they don’t like to hell with them
To hell with you and your self loathing


Details | Free verse | |

I wish that it was

Mommy and Daddy are at it again
Daddy's yelling at Mommy 
Calling her a slut then hitting her
I keep wishing and wishing 
For the loud noises to stop
I cry and I pray
Why do they fight
it's scary
I wish it would stop
I try to think of happy thoughts
I want to go to a place
With no yelling or fighting
I keep crying as if the world going to end
Mommy came to my room
Her cheek was red
Her hand had blood on it
Mommy started to cry while she hugged me
Mommy told me what Daddy did to her
Then Mommy told me she killed Daddy
The police came
They took Mommy away from me
I cried and yelled and screamed
Mommy smiled and said it's for the best
I just wish that it was


Details | Free verse | |

Why Mother

Why did you do this to us
Why did you cheat on Father
What did the other family have that we don't 
Do they know you like we do
We love you 
You can still come back to us
We all will forgive you
Even Father would 
If he was alive
He killed himself because the loss of you
Was too unbearable
That's how much he loved you
He loved you more than us
Please Mother
Will you come back to us
Father commited suicide for crying out loud
We're all scared
We're all alone
We need someone
We need a mother
We need you
But
It's your fault he died
Don't you care at all
We're about to go to an orphanage
Our little family is going to split apart because of you
On second thought
You will never be forgiven
You never loved him
You never even cared about us did you
You know what
I hope you have a horrible life
I hope you feel guilt at what you did
We don't need you
Not anymore
Your not apart of my family
Not now
Not ever


Details | Rhyme | |

What you are made up to be

foolish within that shows through the skin, you're hopeless but hoping for the worst for me. I don't care for you, and never will. You will see when you burn in hell, in the future near you'll see that I wasn't the one wrong, so don't try to be sincere. You think it's all about you, when the truth is no one wants anything to do with you. You've already over thought it all, and now you're all alone starring at the wall. I bet you realize now that the pain you feel you caused yourself. Within in all, comes the suffering of withdraw. All the pills that you've swallowed won't save your sorrow.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

August Eighth

Chapter One 
Boy into the West 

Dawn upon my cloak 
Urged and so converged were the guns 
Seeding myself with the rest 

I broke in the eye of the Sun 
Settling my mind on the heartless rapist. Time 
Rasterize the faces 

So thumb through the annals 
Purged and so emerged fleshy etchings of this child
Breast wheels churn uncertainly 

Moistened embers dance to the deafening drum 
Tidal ducts offer piquant waters of the Pacific coffer 
I arrive on the sands 

Chapter Two 
Hole in the Wall 

Deserted in this mind 
Hover in and now behind 
Stare blank up through the ceiling stucco 

Gathering in the stench of ghastly breath of wine 
The New Year clothes itself topside 
Unfashionable walls crush youthful spirit I drink alone, until morning 

Demons of mine in lethargy 
Gnawed and sluggish slivers bond my illness
Horizons of hues of shapes the girl knowing 

Waking sweat cools slyly treats itself to my tongue 
Warmth of girl takes my breath save the end of I prepare 
God, are you there? 

Chapter Three
Erosion 

All in the deflection 
Though his reflection isn't mine 
Blood in kind of brotherly loving spiteful me 
We close our doors of aid restraining love I have

For angry boys reject the angry drudge 
Slave to a toilsome loving grudge 
It is raining erosion 

Blinding contortion 
Why in my hands I can't see you yet 
My rock there I can’t see her stand 

These matters wash away too comfortably 
I the destined rock 
To erode on as grain of sand 

Chapter Four 
Facing the Crow 

Give to the death 
Long confronting his road 
Gurge open those words she once clung on 

Hung from the rope he dove to the end 
I die decay per diem death 
Metaling her heart on his mindless last breath 

I survive only by his hand... 

T.R.Sevrens


Details | Narrative | |

The Road To Peace- part three

Still only a baby in others eyes, it made it so much harder.
The thought of your torment chased away the chill
And soon I was able to fine fulfillment in a choice few things,
For once none of them were liquid, needles or pills.

It didn’t take me long after being away to see
That my world filled with light now that you weren’t in it.
I could finally think of myself without feeling disgust
And take joy in my life, knowing my time was finite.

How could you ask me to forgive you without admittance?
How could you expect me to ever be your friend?
How can you accuse me of leaving you when you needed me?
When you left me behind years before I ever left?

I came back to you when I was safe, mostly healed,
Against my better judgments, to see if you had changed
But over those years, all you did was simmer in hatred
Showing me that maturity and responsibility have nothing to do with age.

I can never feel sorry for anything you go through
Because you made me carry both of our pasts.
I learned to face my problems and let them go.
You always look for someone to blame, that’s why your happiness never lasts.

Now I am at the end of this journey.
You’re the last piece of trash I have left to put out.
And I am happy to say I don’t feel one ounce of remorse
Because pain and heartache isn’t what life is about.

My mind still occasionally thinks of you 
On those hot, endless summer days.
When everyone’s lips are painted with smiles
And I’m spending hours watching my children play.

I feel one small pang inside me of pity
That you, like so many others, will never know love
Because I know just how empty my soul would be
If I didn’t know how to love them so much.

Then I feel more than thankful to the gods
For dusting off my soul and showing me the sun.
For giving me the strength to face my life
Despite the fact that you always taught me to run.



Details | Free verse | |

nobody's daughter

It doesn't matter how beautiful you are,
When your name is
Nobody's Daughter.
You don't really have anything,
Nothing to contrast what you have been,
What you have done,
To what you could never be.


Details | Rhyme | |

No Color or Relgion, Ever Stopped a Bullet from a Gun

I heard on the news
Another two are lost
That makes 206
Is there, a whatever the cost
 
We are there to assist
A country so reft
Inner fighting
To help the rest of the left
 
Guerrilla warfare
Tactically strong
Thousands of miles
Where we don't belong
 
The people we vote in
Would they go in their place
To show their people
Dying is no disgrace
 
I will never allow
My children to fight
A war so improper
A conflict not right
 
To show our presence
As we parade their land
A remote explosion
Blown up on demand
 
How can we serve
A regime so unfair
They can starve their women
Because he can't have her there
 
To fight for their freedom
As they fight themselves
The decision should be made
To save ourselves
 
The Russians failed
So now we try
Coalition troops
In daily die
 
The modern wars
Will always be run
No color or religion
Ever stopped a bullet from a gun



http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war.php


Details | Free verse | |

Giveth yet Taketh Away

Giveth yet Taketh Away.

 

She created being for me

young meant lucky in that

overnight she admittedly disappeared

without a fight and no rapacious thoughts

 

Hidden away in the hills eloping with the free

mammoth conversions taken aboard

as she climbed, surfacing and

conforming unyielding for an eternity of reasons

 

Crying out, craving representation of 

a part of the source

knowing somewhat pieces missing, blueprints unfinished

so distractions from such emptiness and anguish

few i had, more i yearned with glowing affections

 

Haunting visions, nightly

how i perceived you

as i didn't know

would it have really

killed you to send one photo

 

Oh how do you

just forget the existence of us

of me and what was

supposed to be our puzzle and our pilgrimage

 

Awakening spirit finally within you,

willing love, becoming vital once more

 

Open hearts had and did come

from many angles

succeeding in forgiving

partly failing in forgetting

The flower blossomed

she became my best friend

we now travelled a path together finally

 

Morbidly over time her body failed her and

pulled slowly and frustrating 

this child of christ into

a warm safe place

pain, aching and desperation

lifted from her shoulders

to be freed to suffer no more

now she was yet 

 

I had lost my smile

my piece to the puzzle

again emptyness stayed by my side

as the nile was flooded with my tears

until mine was the drought 

 

Kneeling, begging the sun to rise 

needing life after becoming practically defunct

in my grief and melancholy

 

That day did appear

dont question how but

taller i stood moving on apparent

 

She blossmed still my giving flower

just not in physical ways

a precious place in my heart

held only and always 

for her

 

My Creator

My Mother


Details | Narrative | |

The Road To Peace- part four

I like to think that I learned how to be a good mother
By never doing it the way that you did.
I know that no matter how hard it gets
I never will take one second with them for granted.

I will love them every moment I have with them
And succeed in making sure they know it.
So that they can grow up surrounded in trust and love
And never be too afraid to show it.

I would never allow their fears to go un-noticed.
I would die trying to protect them from that world.
I will never rush them, or fail to protect them.
They will be free to enjoy being little boys and girls.

Pride will fill me where jealousy filled you,
As I nurture them and watch them grow
Though I cherish their childhoods more than anything,
I look forward to watching their lives unfold.

Of them taking on the world, enjoying its beauty.
Becoming strapping young men and lovely young ladies.
I dream of them finding a love like I found with their Daddy
And of holding my perfect Grandbabies.

I used to want you to pay for my pain.
I used to dream of ways to make you feel like I did.
I still wish you had had more compassion than to lean on me.
You were my mother, I was just a kid.

But I no longer wish you any more pain or revenge
Because I have risen so high above that, I can’t even see you.
Because you’re still in that world I ran so far away from,
Surrounded in that pain I once was so used to

And knowing that I will have everything you denied yourself
Because of your hideous and unforgettable actions,
I am finally free to find more worth while adventures,
Other uses for my emotions, and my passions.

This finality is like cutting through the last bar of the cage
And finally freeing that dark and abused beast.
into the sunlight where she is free and beautiful
Because unlike you, in my children’s eyes, I found my peace.



Details | Rhyme | |

Burden

I want to say
I'm sorry
I've been such a load to bear.
Such a disappointment.
So much pain you've had to share.
You always gave me all 
your trust
and I break it every time.
I've dragged you up a mountain 
oh so difficult to climb
You have so much 
upon your plate
and yet I force on more.
With all my tricks and all my lies
I act like such a whore.
And yet you always 
love me more
You must have angel wings.
But without fail, I just can't stop.
Doing all these things.
Oh, how I wish
I had that hope.
Of an eternity with you.
But I've been to much of a burden.
And my hours left are few.


Details | Bio | |

These 4 walls

These 4 walls, 
This sacred home, 
Once full of joy, 
Echoes sweet bitterness
of times gone by.
The paranoid confusion,
The mad mistrust
Lock everything up.
Nothing is secret,
My life is mine, 
But still she rips through it, 
Questions that shouldn't be answered,
That shouldn't be asked, 
Where did she go?
A once loving person,
Now only a shadow in the dark,
Sometimes peeping through the curtains,
Trusting not even those who are blood,
Throwing road blocks on the ground,
Don't ever leave,
Never move on in life, 
I will destroy what I have to,
Even if it means losing the ones I love,
she whispers
How can anyone break free?
Where do you turn to?
A baby cries but she doesn't answer, 
That’s not mine, 
She hisses, 
I have done all I can. 
Everyone is out to get me, 
Do you not see?
The walls grow taller, 
Two steps back, 
But how many more to take?
This wasn't meant to happen; 
It should be a happy home!!!!


Details | Bio | |

In Law

Eating disorders and drugs,
Alcohol and pain.
You are indifferent
As I go insane.
You watch me like a hawk
In case I do wrong.
You just know in your heart
That I'll mess up before long.
You're life is so perfect,
You'll never understand.
You calmly watch me fall
Without offering your hand.


Details | Free verse | |

Just say it

I just want to say it. 
to have someone to know,
someone to understand
its not mine to tell
but its my tears, its my blood, its my fear
What you do has everything to do with me
with your lies, you betray me
with your lust and desire, comes my abandonment
just tell them


Details | Rhyme | |

To Grandmother's House We Go

To Grandmother’s House We Go

By Elton Camp

To visit grandmother was a child’s delight 
A welcoming hug made everything right
Aroma of fresh-baked cookies filled the air
About the family’s visit, granny did so care

Her comfortable old house, family enjoy
Welcomed each grandchild, girl and boy
She would take up time with each little one
To listen, talk, laugh and enjoy having fun

Such times, sadly, were then and this is now
Changes, such happy days seldom will allow
“Grandmother won’t be home when we arrive.
For she will be working at her job nine to five.”

At her age, jobs from which to choose are few
With what she is able to find, she will make do
“Welcome to Wal-Mart,” she says at the door
An old, tired lady can actually do but little more

It isn’t that she really wants to or that’s she able
It’s the only way she can keep food on the table
It is necessary because her husband passed away
And her income’s too small the many bills to pay

And the old homestead she wasn’t able to keep
But moved to the project where costs aren’t steep
She gets home, her feet hurt and back does ache,
It breaks her old heart not to be able to offer cake


Details | Free verse | |

Sincerely Yours,

Dear friend ,

The world means nothing.
Its set in flames.
Even worse we roam with cold hearts trying to look the part,
in this guilded age.

This is something I wish not to be a part of.
I no longer want to be another soul endlessly making
contact with sole and pavement.
I'm striving for abatement. 

For meaning I've always looked at dictionaries.
For significance we've always looked at actions.
So please do take another look and see what this letter is for.

Our education is supposed to be priceless, yet we can't afford it.
Our outlook on life is supposed to be uplifting , yet our vision is always distorted.
Our struggle is supposed to be significant , than why is it our stories won't be recorded?

Does this not trouble you my friend?
We complain about being second rate citizens yet there are those who don't live
but attempt to survive in their homes that are assigned in third world countries since before birth.

Where is the justice if the hearts are starting to turn into just ice?
Wheres the justice if a benevolent man was robbed of their life?
Where's the justice in this non-sense?
I can't see it . All I see is us bracing for a cruel consequence.

Pardon me if I trouble you with the questions you can't answer.

But i've outweighed the pros and the cons of this situation.
I no longer wish to to be just another number in this logorithm of lies. 
I no longer wish to be a variable with no value of his own.
I wish to become the variable that comprehends the absolute value of sincerity.

Real love is that which shows no fear.
Unfortunately I am a coward.
I no longer can love a world that is platinum plated and wishes not to remember
the warmth of a child's smile.

Even the stars wish not to roam on the skies of the falsely lit nights.
Even the moon moans because of how far from her we've drifted.
Even the willos weep when we no longer wish to see them stand and instead
choose them to stand on.

I've outweighed the courage and the fear.
But what I found frightened me further.
What weighed us down the most was indifference.

With that discovery I knew what I had to do.
I must leave and find somewhere where gravity is no longer so heavy.

I know I can't outweigh death for it's a burden that falls on the shoulders of everyone.
I'm truly sorry that i'm a selfish coward 
For I have chosen the coward's end.

I wish you goodluck my friend,

Sincerely yours,

The shadow of men


Details | Quatrain | |

a LADY A LOVER A LIAR A LIFE

          A LADY, A LOVER, A LIAR, A LIFE

All her life she had been someone else’s someone
Her daddy, her husband and then her sweetest son
Yet she was a butterfly pinned in a coffin of glass
While only one demon knew what would come to pass

Who is the man she lays next to in bed?
They now share only their bed head to head
A stranger had replaced a lifetime’s once sweet chance
And climbing mountains sometimes results in soiled pants

Sometimes chances  have a way of leading to lamentable choices
And even springtime speaks with vehement voices
It screams too loud when quiet is that which one may require
When Mother Nature demands a stalwart stranger as her squire

Fantasies can often be fed by the flames of desire
And a lady’s love can be led by a liar
Someone who vows forever in search of naked flesh
But too oft reality and a delivered dream shall never mesh

Everyone needs some time spent on their own
But for the poor souls frightened of being alone
She’d been a daughter, a mother and a regimented wife
And that’s why she decided to end her pitifully predictable life
       © 2011.….Phreepoetree ~free cee!~
 


Details | Quatrain | |

I DO NOT KNOW WHY MY FATHER EATS ROACHES

          QUOTE ME BY CHAPTER AND CURSE

No, seriously there are people worse then me, and I’m a lothario and a liar
But then there are bastards who see an empty warehouse and for fun set it afire
I commit crimes and hold people I have pity for as hostage while holding a gun
But stoned cold junkies, unlike me, do horrendous things solely for fun

I knocked down and old lady……………….. cane and f*****g all
Once I had her bread you think I gave a damn that she’d fall?
S**t, I’d rob my grandmother and later on promise her a soft and silken shawl
And listen, when robbing an inhabited home the floorboards will squeak
if you walk but not if you crawl

Turn your back on me b***h, I dare you, and leave that diamond ring right there
By the time you turn back around the diamond is gone and my running footsteps is all you’d hear
Invite your folks over for dinner on Thursday but tell your mom you want to see some jewels
You keep them busy, while I rob them blind because one thing I ain’t is one of those fun-loving fools 

What I am saying essentially and I hope effectively is that there are certain people you simply can’t trust
The ones who think havoc is a game, for there are none so blind and ashes to ashes and dust to dust
I’ll climb up a six story building to an apartment because I know there are riches in apartment six “B”
Christ, I’ll beat a man half to death if I want something of his and he doesn’t agree

So look out for the ones who lie like a Lothario and will rob you blind
And you all deserve to be robbed because you’re rich and undoubtedly unkind
While the old lady was dressing I was undressing her closet of gold
And when you stare into my sky blue pink eyes realize you’re missing things that I’ve sold
   
I’ll wield a sword honed so sharp and a very frightening knife
And believe me my acts of thievery would be rotten and rife
I harm, threaten and rob people and then go home to my wife
She makes a really good pot roast, and knows I could never really take a life
           ©  2011.….Phreepoetree ~free cee!~  




Details | I do not know? | |

RB Ghetto

Yes, I am a Native.
See my brown skin, my dark hair.
Come walk through my reserve,
Learn the truth, if you dare.
See this house,
This nice, big one right here?
Here an abused child sits alone,
Afraid to even  shed a tear.
Shall we continue our walk?
See that house, with the bright light?
Here a young boy watches his mother drink,
Waiting for her to start a fight.
Stop...Hear that noise in the woods?
Oh, it's just some kids smoking a joint.
Have you had enough truth yet?
Have you even begun to get the point?
Remember that lonely, abused child,
The little one so full of fear?
Well now he beats his kids and wife,
Then he celebrates with a beer.
And the young boy with his drunk mother
Now sits alone, wishing he would die.
As he punches hole into his wall
He wonders, would his mother even cry?
What about those little pothead kids?
Most of their lives are wrecks:
Jabbing needles into their arms, 
Spending all of their welfare cheques. 
We've come to the end of our tour.
You see, life on the rez isn't that great.
The people here no longer feel love,
Our home has become a land of hate. 


Details | Rhyme | |

On The Beach Watching The Waves


  On the Beach Watching the Waves and....    

I was sitting on the beach watching the waves 
thinking of all the lives I've saved
my job is a thrill ; my job is hard
but I adore it, 'cause I'm a lifeguard
at times my mind drifts along with the waves 
into a leisurely daydream some of the days
but then,  I awaken to reality when I hear a scream
so I jump into the water to save yet another
Good thing I did !  'Cause it was my mother!


Details | Free verse | |

Babylon

my uncle was married
before he met her
sure it was to his first cousin

My brother was trying to help her
she cried for days about being raped

My grandmother gave her a job
and a place to stay

Friends with benefits
to my uncle and brother
family upset
not realising she is a con artist

My brother and Uncle
kindling a family feud
over a woman who conned my grandma
my brother and then my uncle

I live in the same building as her
after my brother lost his head
and i don't blame him
evicted from a whole village
leaving me stuck here, trapped

she walks into a room
the men bend over backwards
I try to tell her to stop wasting men's time
for their money
lieing about love is a dangerous game
men get upset when they have been conned through sex
when they could have spent that time
with someone genuine

The village in unrest
busy trying to justify her for being the victom she claims to be
In this situation at no fault of my own
I just sit here and wait for her to make the same mistakes
so it will be clear to them what the truth is when i tell them all

she conned my grandma
lied about love to my brother
split up my aunt and uncle
and now shes in a position of power over what people here think of me

Not for long though
the truth will rise
They will all know soon
the black and white of her inbetween the lines
She is babylon to me
a headless beast with breasts

apparently no oone thinks of the situation through my eyes
just easier to use babylon for sex


Details | Rhyme | |

Mom's COLD, DEAD, STARE

How come she doesn't love me?
How come she will not care?
Why does she only look at me
with that COLD, DEAD, STARE?
I know she says she's sorry
for all the pain I've had.
Then, why won't she break this cycle
and show me life's not so bad?
She thinks it's just too late now.
I know I'm already grown.
But I could use her friendship
while I raise kids of my own.
A mom to tell my thoughts to.
A mom to share my fears.
Just someone to care for me 
as I grow thoughout the years.
It's over now, I've begged her
to love me and to care.
But all I ever get from her
is that COLD, DEAD, STARE.


Details | Free verse | |

White Rabbit

Quick, we'll be late!

Then again. she shan't notice.

Her eyes are heavy, always.

Induced by magic.

They call it medicine.


She would be angry though!

Only on them days, when he's away.

When we won't hear the groans

moans, grunts. 

She remembers though.


She's so sad now! 

She always was, it's him.

She's submissive, timid, shy.

Afraid. They'll take her away.

We can't visit. 


We must rescue her! 

From her sleep? No.

'for what dreams may come

when we shuffle of this mortal coil.'

There is only one way.


You find the bleach!

It is effective in removing.

Ridding us of the evidence.

But not of the past, not of the blood.

May she rest in peace. 


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Divine Intervention

Beautiful little girl
Devastatingly beautiful
The birds would start chirping when she walked past
Her mother’s daughter they all said
A mirror image
 
And suddenly she was shocked by love
5 years old being undressed like a doll
Caressed and bathed so lovingly
Such gentle touches
That no one suspected
 
Mother found a new piece to her heart
Wedding bells chimed
And a new father was born
5 years old she was…just 5
 
This beautiful little girl found love in her “new” father’s arms
He held her close, sometimes too close
But no one suspected
She didn’t know this love was pain wearing a mask
She learned that love was…
Shielded from the eyes of her mother
Night visits to her room from her father
Year after year
For 15 years this was the love she knew
 
She felt invaded, alone and abused
She told her mother
About her new father…the man her mother loved
She didn’t acknowledge, wouldn’t bring herself to see
What the water so clearly replayed in her view
The mother knew, just knew
That her husband would, couldn’t ever
Never…bring pain to his daughter, never
 
Little girl, what does it feel like to be loved?
It feels warm, and wrong but gentle
Strong hands unclothing you
Caressing your body as if you are a grown woman
With a glorified body to worshipped and pillaged over
Little girl, what does pain feel like?
Closed doors…darkness…my father…naked
Hopeless
 
Beautiful little girl
Devastatingly beautiful
Pain paraded as love
Molestation masked for discipline
When your daughter cries out
When she cowers in corners
And doesn’t trust the dark
When she says love is just another word
Just another synonym to let him abuse her
Trust what she has to say…
 
I was that beautiful little girl and now I am a woman plagued with fears
Some nightmares you cannot outrun
And some memories only God can wipe away
The blood of all my pain is on my mother’s hands
"I forgive you"
Beautiful they say…
It’s a mask for something more


Details | Quatrain | |

I SWEAR SATAN REALLY IS MY DADDY

      THE HANDIWORK OF MOTHER FUC>>>>>>NO, I MEAN 
                                             MOTHER NATURE
I used to sit right here complimenting Mother Nature on her handiwork
Please excuse me momentarily for I have some coffee to perk
Okay, now where was I, oh yes I was talking about nature now soiled
And damn it, my coffee over-boiled

So as I was saying I used to sit here complimenting every rose
Platitudes I knew they wanted to hear, like she’s the most beautiful bud that grows 
This very spot was a sanctuary for any bird who spotted a place for him to bathe and drink
They thought me, quite frankly, philanthropic, or at least that’s what I think

Squirrels used to seed the lawn with peanuts, cookies and bread
Buried for when the lion blows in lest they all be dead
Some were gregarious, some of them were shy
But I remember this one particular squirrel I named “Guy”

He’d come in my lap and dare me not to think him cute
He was adorable with well stuffed cheeks to boot
I look back on those days as dream colored fantasies
Where there is no sickness, illness nor disease

Those squirrels no longer dig up that which let’s them live
And besides, because of carcinogens in the air I have no peanuts to give 
But birds to bathe in polluted water filled with bugs
I’m telling you man, the important thing to save is the planet and forget a losing war on f*****g drugs
            © 2011.….Phreepoetree ~free cee~! 


Details | Rhyme | |

Mindless Games

Memories fail again; anger is misplaced.
Two separate lives with different problems faced.
An exotic dancer, no longer disgraced,
Was a helpless victim who’s past is encased.

An anxious soul with her childhood past,
Talk of abuse; left her mother aghast.
Her current life, the caseworker forecast.
Much hidden pain remains steadfast.

She’s off again to see another him.
Children left behind at their mother’s whim.
Eyes change to dullness; laughter becomes dim.
Alone like that makes a child grow grim.

A woman escaping from her inner self,
“Nighty” left behind with “Blankie” and the elf.
Running to the dark, her future on the shelf,
Now, her own mother is beside herself.

Endless tears of sorrow in the rain
Many prayers when dreams need a new flame.
Conflicted hearts argue just the same.
Mindless games won’t take away the pain.

Ó December 4, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen


Details | Ballad | |

Who's Gonna Bake the Christmas Pie

He was six years old at his dying mother's side.
Only when she slept he broke down and cried.
He had to hide his fears of what was to be.
How scared he was, mama didn't need to see.

Mama had been sick going on three years now.
She knew she must help him make it through some how.
With her strength fading she called him to her side.
"If life is a carnival son, I'm at my last ride."

"I have something to tell you, to remember for all times."
"You are all each other will have in the coming hard times."
"Just hold each other close and remember my love for you."
"It will help to ease the pain, it will help to see you through."

The day came when his Mama had to go.
He had so many questions, so much he wanted to know.
"Why did Mama have to die?"  "Who's gonna bake the Christmas pie?"
"Who will comfort me when I cry?"  "Are you gonna die?"

I squatted down in front of him a tear in my eye.
"An unfortunate part of life, son, is each of us will die."
He'd caught me off guard, I didn't know what to say.
I hoped he understood.  I hoped... and I prayed.

I took him in my arms and held him oh so tight.
I told him that I loved him and that everything would be all right.
"Mama's in heaven now she's looking down on you and me." 
"She's with us in our hearts where forever she will be."

"She sees you when you're crying she sees you when you're playing."
"She knows what you're thinking she knows what you're saying."
"She sees into your heart and knows how much you love her."
"So let's have happy thoughts of Mama and the time we had together."

The days have turned to weeks, the weeks to months and years.
Our thoughts of Mama are happy, they hold away the fears.
She still fills our hearts with memories.  Memories of her love.
Memories of Mama sent down from heaven above.


Details | Free verse | |

mother.

Mother, you don't understand,
you don't know what it's been like.
You tell me to walk away from compliments,
from breath perfumed with vanilla vodka,
and arms with sinews that my own lack.
Mother, you don't understand,
that satisfaction comes from blood
that someone else releases,
from nameless flesh pressing
against my own nameless flesh.
Mother, you don't understand,
even though you should know best,
that love has nothing to do with it,
and loss,
everything.
If you disapprove,
then you should know, 
that mother,
it's all because of you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Sublime

My eyes are stinging, burning,

            tears scalding down my face,

                         my heart is in a vise of guilt

                                             as I wallow in disgrace.


I dread the Karma I've created

                      in this lousy, crazed lifetime.

                                 How I've damaged my children,

                                                  the punishment, sublime.

©Danielle White


Details | Free verse | |

Baptism by Colors

The Christmas lights shine while the temple bells
Toll. The baby lies bloody on the bed- 'delivered'.
Its dusk, a shade of grey dusk but again a dark blue
Around the corner; not a sound did roll nor did light
Strike and it slept. Hush baby... they will come! Among
Her broken toys and impaled dolls she sleeps like the
Child of time- she is black.

Again, the star shined and the bells tolled and they came- all over her,
They trampled and burnt her sins away. Smoke and soot and hell fire
Rained everyday and she took it all in. Like the voracious petals of the
Venus fly trap, those lips of hers engulfed them and stayed content.
It lay in the night... At least she had the night. She was content. Slowly
The saffrons, the whites and the greens entered her hollow being
Day after day and she did not know where they came from.

Even the one to be delivered that rested inside her grew impatient.
It broke free and she lost. It was buried amidst the fanfare and
Ho hum of those colors. The same colors that devoured her sins
And had her delivered, and now they lie in constant wait for the
Reigns to break so the stake is theirs to burn. The witch must burn.
The Green must burn, the saffron must be severed and the white
blackened they thought.

The witch died, and so did they but not the colors. As the
Child in time sleeps under every roof, so does those black eyes
With glowing fangs, under the bed. Just below the flesh
And the wooden bed, you can hear it breathe and crave blood
And carnage. Every street, every devil's bend, every wall bears
Its name. Yet it hides, kills, plunders and hides. Yet another
Deliverance and another coming against the eclipsed sun.

Tomorrow if a life is born I shall warn and mourn and curse
The deliverance coz the colors will lie in wait under its bed.
Sharp talons and itchy fingers waiting for it to blossom and
Tear it up in pieces. Yes! This is our deliverance... We all shall
Be delivered some day. But, I hope my child of time is colorblind
And comatose- Maybe dead. For then it wont hear the evil crawling
Under its bed, see them on the streets and  feel them inside itself.

That day will be her baptism and maybe she will wake...

© Malyaban Lahiri


Details | Free verse | |

Recollections: and the Lessons Learned

“Don’t worry mom,”
I said
with as much confidence
as a young boy could muster,
“I’ll collect money from my paper route
ok,
don’t worry mom, don’t worry!”
I hated to see my mother cry,
tears streaming between fingers
like water through cracks in a dam
about to burst,
hands
prematurely worn and aged
by diligent housewife duties
and too much stress.
I detested seeing my younger brothers and sisters
go hungry
because of my drunken father’s neglect
for those he claimed to love.
It’s no wonder mom lost her mind
after all she experienced;
the beatings by my father, 
seeing her children without food
more often than they deserved
and the man she once loved
preferring the company and affection
of another woman.
It wasn’t long before mom retreated
into a world that only she and a few
pharmaceutically liberal Psychiatrists knew of.
I’d like to think that 
my siblings and I are stronger
for having endured those
trials,  
I mean, after all
we are still alive,
and who knows but God,
why my father self destructed  like that.
In the end
he said he was sorry
and that he loved us.
As for my mother?
well, 
there are only so many pills
and shock treatments a human can stand.
Rest well
sweet Mother and  Father.
I’ve learned a lot about-forgiveness.
     
  
  
   


Details | Free verse | |

Initial Thoughts of Hatred

I'm sick and tired! So very tired!
Of you putting me down
From now on... I'll just stand up!
On my own two feet...

I refuse to put up with your trash again
And I refuse to just stand and take it
I won't allow you to mess with my mind
No longer will your threats bother me
You may try and scare me if you like
But any word you say is useless
You have no control of where I go
This is my life! Not your own!

I don't want you to look at me as a trophy
Because I refuse to go down the path you want
No more of your lies will enter my ears
I refuse to take part in it
I have to try and make it myself
And it's my choice to suceed or fail

I "hate" you
I "dislike" you
I just don't like you!

I'm sick and tired! So very tired!
I just want to be away from you!
I refuse to have someone else dictate
My very life...

I "hate" you
Go and "hate" me
I don't need you anymore!
Go and "fear" me
I don't "fear" you
You're really nothing to me!

I'm sick and tired now! Very tired now!
Just leave me be!
Stop trying to... torment me
Any further...
My respect for you! Is gone now!
Just go away!
Getting rid of the... trash in my life
Is the first step to my happiness!


Details | Rhyme | |

Credence

Trust in you…   My greatest love, keeps my heart true…   The rhythmic motion from 
your love ocean…   Creates in my mind the good love notion…   Stay far away from 
false love potions…   For you, your wish may come too…   A love fresh, bright and 
new…   Taste not the dense dark mind stew…   Look inside closely to see, she loves 
you just like me…   Behold the mother and the wife…   Wanting unity for all of life…   
What I am saying here, great mother holds all things dear…   Drink from her cup to 
eradicate fear…   This is all we need to start the pure love year…   


Details | I do not know? | |

MOTHERLICKER

Mother

I know
The weeping was for effect
You can’t cry for anyone
But you
Can’t cry Selflessly?
No
I wish it wouldn’t spill so freely
Into my cold coffee
Bitter beyond
Sugars delightful enchantment
Bad taste
Oh lord
It spills from your mouth
Morals straight from the alter
Send up a little message of hope
Jesus can lay his hands upon her
He cured that leper, restored to his prime
Flicked the switch for the blind man
The dead little girl dead no more

Wouldn’t we all prefer her path to run straight?
Pun intended, for humours sake
Are you angry, or merely scared?
Your own 
You detest
Your heart
Can’t accept


Details | Free verse | |

Moment addressed to Mom

I did not call you to talk 
Foolish 
Mind-numbing 
Speaking of nothing
I have not called for the deafening 
Silence
I always hear from you 
Even when your mouth is open 
And sounds are coming out
I called for all the 
Moments 
You made me cry
For the soul you forced awry 
I’ve called for me
I’ve called to yell
To fight 
To cry
To scream 
To move past those 
Moments
Let go and move on
Without your 
Horrendous 
Weight 
Upon me
I’ve called about the lies
Deceit and whys 
Life is too short
I’ve called to say 
Goodbye
I’ve called simply
To hang up 
Walk away
And 
Fly 


Details | Free verse | |

Dearest Mama

Words like vomit
 
Disgusting horrible things spewing from your mouth
 
The mouth that used to form the words
 
“I love you”
 
Oh how the times have changed..
 
As children I’m sure we were just so easy
 
To persuade..
 
To decieve…..
 
To control…….
 
See, little ones don’t ask the hard questions
 
The ones that have difficult answers…
 
They don’t realize what’s going on
 
They can’t see the whole picture..
 
Comprehend it.
 
They don’t understand
 
That one day..
 
Their vision will clear
 
Ignorance is bliss but now it’s gone
 
Obliterated
 
Now mommy and daddy are Always fighting
 
Screaming..shouting..
 
Violence that only happens on the inside of these shaking walls
 
Things that would normally would be kept inside
 
brushed away to the back of your mind…Shoved Away..
 
Come spilling out all at once.
 
Apalling..cruel….heinous indications…assumptions..
 
Thoughts that should’ve been banished from your mind to begin with
 
Are flowing from your angry tongue
 
The lips that used to whisper “I love you”
 
Ruining any chance of redemption
 
Any possibility that we could fix this…
 
There are so many names for what just happened
 
So many labels that you can apply to this mess
 
these last few pages of the chapter..
 
I starting a new one tomorrow..
 
Breaking off. Severing myself from this shit
 
I can see clearly now
 
and I’m not liking what I see
 
My childhood was a lie
 
Every word was a lie
 
You were a lie


Details | Free verse | |

Severed Family Ties

In this game of who gets who worst. 
Its about getting even , regardless of if feelings get hurt.
So what if this has escalated , you've wronged me, 
since that moment I had placed you in a hurst. 



Ironic is that you were the brother who taught me the meaning of family.
Now you are the one whose existence is a bother.



More push than shoves , more disdain than love. 
My personality determed by " I " but the attitude by all of the above. 


Those qualities of yours that ensure that we will quarell. 
Those lies that enticed my pride to be swallowed. 
No longer will I take the blame for you. 



My older brother. My older brother , both father and brother.


What a short distance you've fallen from the tree , hurting all those around you , your siblings and even our dear mother, just like the one who betrayed you , our dear father.



For the lust of materialistic dreams that you seeked youve trampled upon the ones who didnt even understand the concept of envy.


First you lie about your family name.
Then you gamble with our savings. 
Then steal from me , was I not part of your family?



Humiliate your siblings infront of your friends for laughs. 
Calling us the bastards that God should've never had.
Thank God our mother can't see what has become of you and I. 
You almost murdered me because I wouldn't lend you anymore money.


Thank God our mother can't see what has become of you and I.
For you succesfully murdered her spirits too.

You only came to the funeral to lay claim to your part of the money.


Tomorrow our family ties will be physically severed. 
But mother taught us all shall pass.

When tomorrow comes I hope this is true. 
So in high spirits I know this is something else that shall pass,
 something I must go through.

For with the last heirloom you did not take.... ,
our grandfather’s knife... 

Your life I shall take from you.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Mother's Love ..For A Child So Young In Need

Tonight was my son's christmas concert and memorial for a little girl named 
Emily
Her life was tragically taken at seven in a half years old
By a highway ramp that was to short in length to emerge
I was so proud of my son for ttrying and preparing himself for this evening
You see the last week he has taken this hard
I bought him a new suit and even let him pick out the flower he wanted to wear on 
his jacket
A pink rose
He looked so handsome and shined like the prince he is
The very end there was a slideshow of Emily
First picture  I shedded a tear while he sat there amongst his friends sitting ever 
so quiet
When it was finished the lights came on
There he was coming to me all teary eyed
All I could do was hold him so tight and share his pain
I kneeled over and held him like there was no-one around us
It was a moment that continued even in the car ride home
This is a time in my life I could finally see he really knew what it felt like to taste 
the bitterness of a loss
He's six years old tommorow and as he got out of the car
He held his hands in the air with such hatred 
Begging her to come back
Tell me how do I explain this to him
Repeatedly saying "I miss you"
I love you so much
Why Emily
Pretty pretty please
To hear those words and see his actions of anger
Is so painful
I did what a mother would do
I stood there with him let him vent
I held him and rubbed his back
We came in the house and I put his pyjamas on
I  tucked him into bed and held him
Cried with him and comforted him
I told him about the goodness she brought in this world and how God must of  
truly needed her
I cried with him till he could'nt cry no more
I was there for him and in the end he turned to me and said "I really love you"
Sang him a song and hummed until he fell asleep
It's time like these you the importance of loving a child to no extent
God bless him and Emily's family for having the strength to carry on when they 
were at their weakest


Details | I do not know? | |

How Do I Thank You?

I was driving by the park yesterday and saw that girl.
She was holding a beer while leaning back on some scroungy guy.
I remember when she was in your class in 5th grade...she's only 16.
Does her mother know this is what she does 
mid-day on a Tuesday? 

I heard another kid in your class dropped out.
Since when is a 9th grade education enough? 
That makes how many that just dropped out...
because they 'don't like it'? 

The girl in your 5th hour wasn't there all last week.
She was busy... giving birth.
She's old... considering she's in the 11th grade. 
(Compared to the 7th grader that just had a baby 3 months ago.) 

I want to scream WAKE UP everytime I see them in town.
The ones wearing the booty-shorts and tiny tank tops.
Who do I thank for my wonderful daughters? 
Do I just thank God that I was blessed with you? 
How can I thank you for being the young women that you've become? 
When I see all that is going on around you...
I'm amazed by your strength. 


Details | Free verse | |

Just Live

Can I not live?  Just live.  Just live and breathe
And appreciate, not my life, but life.
Walk beneath the stormy skies and see the clouds
And smile at the moon. She always appreciates
She reassures me that the Sun is still there
And His rays touch her and they will touch me
They make me.  

Can I not live?
See the beauty in the growing grasses
Aware of life, but not my own.
Aware that I am just a visitor, a speck
That rides the chords of time and loves.
To touch the hands of such a Father
And to nestle in the breasts of Mother Earth
I must respect and be alert for what She says
I only suckle when she demands, and it
Is in respect.  Complete respect that I genuinely keep

Can I not live?  Just live and walk on the sands.
Touch the surface of a rolling world that roars
And foams at my feet.  Those massive beasts,
Part of a world I cannot explore and should not
Because, I respect.  My Mother Earth cries
For me and for them.  

Can I not just live?
Who should I listen to?  My Mother or
The Man of law that defecates her soul?
Must I be confined to a cement block?
And littered with shoving expectations that suffocate
I cannot live.  I cannot just live.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mothers and Daughters

moody and blue
whatever became of you
somedays i can't even
remember
that i know you

how we used to
laugh and play
holding hands
throughout
most of our yesterdays

your dreams
were splashes of sunshine
pillars of hope
creating
visions of imaginary time

now, your reality
shivers with fear
you push me away
mindless
of my bitter tears

mothers and daughters
like forces of electricity
they unite then divide
magnetism
streams  of love and malicity

without warning
you jolt our being 
creating chaos
generating
sorrow without any meaning

lashing out
you yell and stare
spilling your anger
negating
the urgency to care

like a tornado
with a bitter torment
you swirl us around 
enhancing
your apathy and contempt

finally, caressing moments
balance the injuries and the pain
we hold on and hug one anothet
yearning 
for our love to forever be the same


Details | Free verse | |

A Sluggish Socratic Reservoir

In your restless slumbers you feel me,
I know you feel me.    
Always by your side like an iron rusted sword
Dull to the touch and stranded to the length of your back.
Your sudden sighs will be the ocean churning and
The waves that collapse against the shore.
Every ache you undergo will emit a moan
So loud and locked away that even the sky will mourn
And it’s rains will fall for you alone.
Each dripping drop will attempt to match your insides
From the moment the first moon beams hit your windowsill
Till the sun ascends in an incandescent dawn
That pinkens the walls of your chambers.
You look beyond a naked field to
A moon which eases with every passing moment.
Beckoning you to dreams and thoughts that lay like scars and stains.
Come, they whisper.
Come listen to the symphony of our affairs.
Come watch these green waters turn to gold.
Travel the world and reach the end 
Only to find that you still want.
But here, with no one around in this volatile room,
With no eyes peering but the licks of lighted candles,
You’ll plead no to a nameless fear 
As you swallow the back of your mind.
Let an open mind in,
Allow it to listen.
And as you glance over to vacancy from
Your worn and heated side,
The skies will shudder with every hope and every lie
That even Socrates cannot deny these tries.
But in the half light of my own room
I wish to be your broken record
Or the lead singers private microphone.
Kiss my finger tips and drink in the residue of fountain pens.
I will plaster each phrase to my bedroom wall
Where I live to see that the writing never flows.
That each excerpt is choppy and final.
That every quote is bold and blush.
The frayed and shredded nursery wallpaper,
Shimmering pink with sudden audacity,
Will reflect moodily and ambiguously of my shattered thoughts.
With kudos to a grandmother Mary,
I slowly lift a frozen face from underneath a pillow.
After a minute of self doubt and realization
That settles like pin pricks on the palms of my hands,
I slide the idle face back into it’s sheath
Then contemplate the curiosity of my own slumber.
While ignoring every hope of sleep,
I’ll thread two nimble fingers through an open flame,
Stare provokingly into the shadows on the ceiling,
Get bored,
Get lonely,
And think of you.                  


Details | I do not know? | |

Relax

shh...

relax for a while
take in the silence
the dark emptiness
regroup all lost thoughts
regain all lost control
be ready to start a new day
fresh from the moment you awake

poof...
silence no more
busy schedule
not enough time to do it all
headaches, migraines
all in a days hard work
yet at the same time
can't help but feel so bored


Details | Free verse | |

Missing

Last seen in the newspaper shop.Susan.Susan
Deakin.About 11am.Small blonde girl of eight.
An impassive constable was recording the statements
Inwardly weary with the usual hysteria.
Inwardly quailing at the thought of her daughter's reaction,
Her frantic grandmother was stumbling over the details.
Once the story rippled through the village,
A miasma of fear settled like a haar
Upon the sunlit streets
Where mothers now kept their children tight to them.
Little knots of elderly women stood chattering,
Every utterance dripping with deadly speculation, 
Drowning any pious hope that she was off  safe with her friends.
Solitary males must have keenly felt
The sharp glances of suspicion and wondered why.
Beneath the warmth of an otherwise bright sky
Swam an icy current of deepening distrust
Threatening the community with its riptide of rancour.
There was now nothing to be done but wait. 


Details | Free verse | |

blue

				I Go Back…
I see her standing next to a man who would never do her wrong,
I see my grandmother in the green grass
touching an inanimate body, the
blue shirt a reflection of her feelings
always blue because of what her husband has done, I
see her happy now without him near
standing alone waiting for information to solve a
marriage gone wrong, the memories still lingering, back
when love was strong and everyone happy,
she was still young though, she was not bored,
she was in love, she was ignorant, all she knew is that she was
caring, for her children and theirs also.
I want to talk to her and say Careful,
don’t be a fool in love--the kids will feel the consequences,
you fell for the wrong man, together you will do things
that will end your love forever,
that will leave your daughters blue like you,
that their children will never understand,
that will make you want him dead. I want to speak to her
there in the clear summer light and say that,
her ignorant loving face listening to my every word,
her misunderstood caring soul,
her full broken heart never to love again,
her naïve experienced soul,
I will never do it though. I want to experience it all. I
take her in my hand like a helpless
empty scrap and throw her out the window,
by an edge like a simple worn image, as if I
wanted to knock some sense into her, I ask
Do you want you daughters to feel unloved, and their children to ask why?


Details | Rhyme | |

My Mother Doesn't Need Me

My mother does not need me
To wish her a happy day
That's made for only mothers
Who love in every way

My mother does not need me
To her I'm just a lie
And if I haven't told you
It's me she does deny

My mother does not need me
She's made it very clear
Her pride lies with her boys
While I'm the one she fears

My mother does not need me
And frankly I don't care
Cause all the love that she has showin'
Has caused me great despair

My mother does not need me
She has so many friends
If she wants true happiness
On them she can depend


Details | I do not know? | |

This Mother's Day

It's not something
for which you would have to pay
nor take a lot of time to decide
It's not something
I've ever asked from you before
but it will have to come from the heart
It's not something
that's cute
or precious to the eye
It's not a piece of clothing
or something to hang on the wall
no words are needed
but would be appriciated
So when you ask what it is
I want this Mother's Day
my simple request is this
Please take away my anger,
my hurt, my fears,
my sorrow and pain


Details | Elegy | |

Taken

The light turns yellow and the mother hauls on the brakes,
the truck behind her tried but it was already too late
the little girl is knocked unconscious the ambulance soon arrives
the mother has minor bruises but the child is listed in critical
and the bedside vigil begins

Alejandra, my baby, please get better for I need you with me
her angels are hovering over waiting on the word that is yet to be
tears seep through the mother's eyes whispering
Alejandra, darling, how could this be
one moment we're together and now I pray I'll have another chance
to say how much I love you

Twenty-four hours went by when Alejandra passed in the night
she looked just like an angle so sweet in the light
How will I ever live with this pain inside of me?
When all I want to do is go and be with my baby

Alejandra, my gift was taken all too soon
and now my baby's in Heaven so brief and all too soon


Details | Free verse | |

By the Bedside, Weeping

A visitor, 
I sit by night and day
unmoved to pen a loving word
no more the Muse its lightning thrusts
of inspiration cast my woeful way
while waiting, watching, 
nothing left
of hope, of comfort – 
nothing right to say
to ease the anguish, 
relieve the constant pain
of dying – not a chance to start again
armed with the choice 
to choose another way.
A visitor,
I sit by sunny day by dismal night,
while Mother lies upon her bed
the only one left living still
all brothers, sisters, long since dead
though living still inside her head
confused – 
where right is left and left is right,
where here is there 
and never is today – until
just yesterday refused
to disappear
into another year.
For ninety years, she sowed her seeds – 
no dreams fulfilled but hopeful still
that someday soon – one day they will
reward her for her loving words and deeds.
They didn’t.
Here lies her battered bones, her quaking frame,
held loosely by the folds of wrinkled shell,
the purple skin, protruding joints,
the hairless spots as well 
where once flowed glowing locks,
where rounded nails 
have grown grey jagged points,
this agony on earth,
these waning moments left on earth
not heaven but her hell.
My pen lies dormant
nothing left to say – 
just sit,
and watch
night turn to day
and back again,
tranquil, placid vigil
over weeping eyes
with empty stare
tears trickling, tumbling
through chasms of each bony cheek
once flushed with vibrance
now crushed with aged erosion,
lips cracked thin lines of grey,
her heaving chest slow moving
as clear plastic tubes feed air
and saline fluids – morphine flow
to make her passing easier to go.
She turned her head
her reddened eyes unwiped
by crumbling claws
and spoke with broken word-like sounds
that rumbled to my ears
“You know – 
I love you, Son – 
and always – will –
no matter –
if I live – or die?
Come closer – dear. . .”
(forgetting it was she who couldn’t hear)
then stopped, exhaling just a sigh.
I watched her many moments more
awaiting long her words of love,
as Mothers always know;
but, she was silent, 
still, asleep – 
as sightless as before,
and I had hope her soul would keep
her longer here
to share the smile that she wore.
For now, her weeping eyes are dry – 
and mine?  Still watchful, wet,
but calm, serene, her sentry, here,
to watch, to wait, and wonder why
we all fear what our fate has set 
for now, tomorrow, or another year.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

MOTHERS "R" US

Abraham Lincoln once said, "all that I am I owe to my mother"
as each of us is the product that comes from no other
your morals, your values and some of the ways in which you act
originate from your mother and how she raised you in fact
most mothers are gentle, loving, nurturing and very kind
they're the first person in your life that helped to shape your mind

In the book of Matthew a Cannanite mother was mentioned
she was a good mom whom for her child had the best of intentions
but a problem developed with her child and the first thing she did was pray
but when the situation got worse she went to seek Jesus right away
she went before Jesus and made known her request
but Jesus told her of her people He did not address
she went before Jesus and got down on her knees
she begged Him to help her child who had a dire need
she addressed Him as Messiah, she affirmed His Godly appointing
Jesus saw in her a great faith and then gave her daughter an anointing

Ask and you will receive if you truly believe in God
and He may give you the desires that are in your heart
seek and you will find Jesus the Christ, your Savior
and pray that He will bestow upon you a miraculous favor
trusting and believing that He is the Anointed One
knowing and accepting Him as God's only begotten Son
that Cannanite mother possessed a tremendous faith
and for her child she did whatever it would take

At first the Twelve Disciples told Jesus to send her along
Jesus got caught up in the culture and realized that was wrong
He displayed a bit of humanity when the Jewish card He played
but that Cannanite mother was most determined and from her purpose she would not stray
persistent in her pursuit and praise she stepped to Jesus and His divine mission
and after all was said and done He reversed His initial decision
and with His miraculous and Godly powers
that Cannanite child was healed within the hour

Great was her faithfulness for in God she truly believed
that by praying, praising and worshipping Him all she asked for she would receive
Mothers "R" Us and for our children we'll get down on our knees
to pray to God to help our children in their times of need


Details | Rhyme | |

Trying To Heal

I don't know why you're angry
About the things I've said
When all that I have spoken
Are merely words instead

I don't know why you blame me
For speaking what's on my mind
When all that I am doing
Is breaking the ties that bind

You think it's me that hates you
Because of what I write
But if you listen carefully
You might gain some insight

Not everything's about you
Why can't you understand
The pain that life has dealt me
I carry in my two hands

I'm simply breaking away
From all that I have known
So someday you might actually see
How your little girl has grown

My pain is mine to heal
These chains are mine to break
I'm sorry if this hurts you
A leap of faith I'll take


Details | Rhyme | |

Blood on Emeralds

The blood of Emeralds
In Northern Ireland's streets
Where sides detest
Victims they seek
 
Religious divide
Neighbours slain
For the life of me
What to gain
 
These troubled times
Historic sores
Deep rooted pasts
Now to the fore
 
IRA
UDA
Many guns came out to play
Both sides fell, as they murderously slay
During the week, even Sundays
 
The Belfast agreement of 1998
This Land of Emeralds, in peaceful state
Neighbours safe to talk again
Never allow the blood, on the Emeralds stain

" Dedicated to all Ireland - The Emerald Isle "


Details | I do not know? | |

Can A Mom Just Say It's Over?

My throat won't stop constricting, I just can't look away.
I really need to talk to you yet I don't know what to say.

I will not let the tears fall. I'm stronger than I look.
You've never given credit for the strength survival took.

I know for you it's over. A mother you'll never be.
Disgust exudes from every pore... each time you look at me.

It's too much to consider, there's too much in our past.
You feel it's not worth trying cause you think it wouldn't last.

It knocks the breath right from my chest when I think of what won't be.
How does it feel to know you've caused me so much misery? 

I wake myself up crying for the mom I'll never know.
You know how much I loved you, but still you let me go.

Will you ever try to love me... maybe try to be my friend? 
Did you think we had forever... are you glad this is the end? 


Details | Bio | |

Me

I'm not afraid of the devil you made
Because you made me the devil
I must confess, something's grown in my chest
It hasn't made me a rebel
Make my hell into something you can sell
But something no one can ever love
You cannot sedate all the things you hate
Though you may have blinded some

Me, a name I call myself
But not my real name
Just a disease you've passed onto me
To stay the same

You are afraid of the reasons you stayed
Because you stayed for the fear
Be glad you can choose which limb you lose
Whenever life isn't quite so dear
If you suggest we die like the rest
I'll leave you here to rot alone
But if you force me to carry misery
I'll come to find all my life is gone

Me, a name I call myself
But not my real name
Just a disease you've passed onto me
To stay the same

I wish I was an only son
Death is my sister, my brother is a gun
I wish I was an only son
Your name is one
To me, it's none

Me, a name I call myself
But not my real name
Just a disease you've passed onto me
To stay the same

Just a disease
Just a disease
Just a disease
To play the game


Details | Rhyme | |

Death

Here lies your mother
The one you betrayed
The one you hated
The one you threw away

Here lies your daughter
The one you didn't want
The one who stood beside you
The one you'd rather taunt

Here lies your sister
The one you always teased
The one who claimed your trouble
The one whose life was seized

Here lies the only truth
Each one of you have known
The one who would have given anything
To have a little love shown

You backed me in a corner
 You left me there to bleed
You turned when I reached out to you
My want you did not need

My blood runs thinly down my arm
On the floor it does stain
In your hands time won't heal
My suffering or my pain

All I ever wanted
All I ever had
All I ever needed
Left me all too sad


Details | I do not know? | |

$9.95

$9.95 is the price she paid to Forget All Her Daily Worries.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Forget All Her Daily Stressors.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Dull Away Her Chronic Pains.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Fools Others that 
She was Fine Everyday.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Forget Her Constant Isolation.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Forget 
Her First True Love.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Distance Herself from 
Memories of A Deceased Father.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Distance Herself from 
Memories of A Deceased Mother.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Distance Herself from A Living Brother.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Leaver Her Birth Place.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Succumb to the Needs of A Demanding Supervisor.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Forget Her Current Unemployment Status.

$9.95 is the price she Paid to Deal with Her Youngest Daughter's Impulsiveness.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Let Go of Her Youngest Daughter.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Make A Servant of Her Eldest Daughter.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Cope with Her Eldest Daughter's 
Wedding Nuptials.

$9.95 is the price she paid When Her Daughters Had Betrayed Her.

$9.95 is the price she paid For Her Fifth Sized Apricot Brandy Bottle.

$9.95 is the price she paid While Crying in Her Final Hours.

$9.95 is the price she paid to Her Final Hour.


Details | I do not know? | |

Who Is The One?

Who is the one
That can ruin your life
Turn your world upside down
And cause the most strife

Who is the one
That can ruin your name
Who takes all the glory
And leaves you the blame

Who is the one
That can cast you out
Turn a deaf ear
And leave you without

Who is the one
That will make fun of you first
Push all your buttons
Say your the worst

Experience tells you
This should be a friend
That brings your whole world
To a shattered end

This is my reality
No friend it's not
My mother's the culprit
And this was her plot


Details | Blank verse | |

SkinnyHope

new cat pee on my old
skinny clothes
and I’m so mad I can’t breathe
at the cat and me
wondering if I should give up the dream
the skinny-hope that I find stuffed in
pants-drawers, and at the back of my
make-shift closet

I wonder if there’s anger trapped
in the fat of my ass 
I wonder what I’ll find is inside of me
if I lose the mound under my  stomach
above my thighs

a few months ago
I went on a diet of poverty
I caught myself in the mirror
and my mother stared back at me

I moved as fast as I could
out of that apartment
to a new town where being poor
doesn’t mean I’ll be thin again

and no one remembers 
who I used to be


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Mother

My mother I love her
she is beautiful, even glowing
but her soul is pleading for release
her charades hurt
I must understand
she needs her space

My mother has a mental block
she can't see me,
can't hear me
oh my dear mother is aching

She has brought herself to think 
she needs the "love" of a man
her depression is temporarily gone 
as one man turned into many men

Now I carry the burden
four times I've died
still sexcapades go on

I must understand
this will save her life
so I am willing to give up mine
 
 
 


Details | I do not know? | |

The Rain

The rain comes down
Like it will never stop
I look around and
Watch it plop
It matches my mood
As I write this poem
Because as we speak
I would be at my mom's 
To survive another week
The rain is helping
To ease the pain
Of a promise broken
Which before was a token
Of being free
Of being me
Of being together with missed family
She broke that promise
Of which was mine to keep
I feel so alone
And broken up in tiny pieces
The rain is my element
The water and the sea
It helps me deal 
With a broken promise
Soon to be


Details | I do not know? | |

CLOSED DOOR

I keep on knocking
But no one is answering
Why does no one care?
Every door is closed
Slam in my face
As if I don’t exist

No one understand
All the opportunities closed
The keys in my doors
Lost forever
Locked within my parents

Who doesn’t give a sh!t about anything
Growing up in alcohol and drugs
Closing all the doors for me 
For a normal life
A normal childhood
That never existed

My life is in closed doors
With no keys made
Just locked
Locking me from the life
I wanted


Details | Rhyme | |

Once Upon A Time World

Inspired by Christy Hardy. (For the title)

That world,
So sweet with wonder,
Candyland to all hearts,
Was it real, I wonder?
Or only certain parts?

The child at Christmas,
Saucer sized eyes
Of anticipation...
Mother baking Christmas cookies...
Tinsel on the sweet smelling tree,

Did this really happen?
Happen to you or me?
Or did Daddy come home,
Drunk and surly,
Drank up his Christmas bonus,

Christmas was now doomed,
To Mother was left the onus,
To save what she could
Of this most precious holiday,
And at this she was so good...

Children are pliable,
They are always learning
By what they see about them,
Mother's Love would always
Save the day,
She shouldered her burdens well,
Or so it seemed to us children,
Cause she would never tell,

But now I wonder how many nights
She cried soft tears,
As her drunken mate snored on
She fought our fight,
She earned our love,
But now, dear Mom, is gone.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mommy Dearest....

        The times have changed, so have we.
The things of our past, you refuse to see.

        You never was there, you stayed busy all the time.
You caused so much pain, never being by my side.

       You were there for the others, I guess I was the outcast.
Saying, "You're your daddy's daughter,"  in the words of our past.

      You never tried to help me, in my days of need.
And yet you wondered why I felt you were rejecting me.

       Your house is not the same, I don't feel right being there.
All I feel is the pain, and the times you didn't care.

       Let me take that back, you never have and never will.
Have you ever wondered, the cause of me over dosing on those pills?

       Can you give me a reason for all the times you made me cry?
Or even the slightest of  an excuse, for all the times I tried to die.

       All that, I can accept, but yet your doing it once more.
You put a man be for your daughters and chose to shut the door.

        Tell me is it a man whose abusive, who downs them all the time.
Is he worth all the hours, that he made your children cry.

        All their tears, you refuse to see, so you sit there smoking dope.
Your the reason why it's so hard for them to cope.

       You never came over, just to visit, or even say hi.
The only time you ever hugged me, was on the passing by.

       So, now don't try to be the mother you never tried to be.
I no longer care, therefor your dead to me.


Details | I do not know? | |

How Stupid

Some days I feel so INSANE....
All this anger, rage and pain
Is all rolling around so deep 
Out of my soul it surely seeps.

Lord how stupid was I?
I believed every lie,
I took every powerful punch
And boy there were a bunch.

Every choice I am second guessing.
Nothing in them is a blessing.
With every cry and every tear
Am wondering how I got here?

Now know the system I once believed in
Said all my decisions were all a sin.
The judge said my children she would take
As she believed that their interests I had forsake.

Family and my few select friends
Think that I have made amends.
But surely how can I?
When all I can do is ask why?

Why did I stay his wife?
Why did I endure all the strife?
Why can't I still be a mom?
Why can't I find that magic balm?

Why won't this agony go away?
How long must I continue to pay?
Can I ever really heal?
Or forever will pain be all I feel?




Details | I do not know? | |

Broken Home

I hear a car door slam.
As I lie awake in bed.
I know now that you’re hear.
A single tear is shed.

I sense what will occur,
When you stumble through the door.
You’ll take it out on her,
Then leave her shattered on the floor.

She’ll pick herself back up again,
Then come into my room.
And tell me that she can sustain.
All your binding doom.

But I know it’s not the truth,
She’s slowly dieing inside.
You’re taking away her youth,
While she swallows all her pride.

I know she thinks of running away,
But she realizes it’s no use.
There will be a price to pay,
And it will end in more abuse.


Details | Rhyme | |

Under The Bed

Strawberries, Blueberries, Cherries

   all sorts of  berries under my bed

                  why?     why?

                  to make a pie

                  why?      why?

             'cause mommy forgot

             that I haven't been fed

        before she tucked me into bed.


Details | Rhyme | |

Tattoo

My nest is made of stones and sticks
and wool that's wet, an itchy mix.
Its sides are built from wire barbed
and nettles brown and glassy shards.

That nest began in fifty-five
with helpless baby laid inside,
newborn infant left outside
then wasps attacked and how she cried.

Add these stingers to my nest,
thirty times they stung my chest,
line the nest with great disdain
and barrels full of wrenching pain.

Be sure to add some stinging slaps,
pawn off the wounds to kid's mishaps,
leg cut and bleeding, bone laid bare,
they walk by like I'm not there.

So line the nest with mass confusion,
senselessness and mute collusion.
Add countless eyeballs staring blind,
for what you see is in your mind.

Four years old in terrible pain,
many days in bed she'd lain,
so very weak she'd had to crawl
and beg them to give the doc a call.

Add to the nest a pox and curse:
infection, pus, appendix burst.
The surgeon wasn't sure she'd live,
a 50-50 chance he'd give.

Now rim the nest with brains and blood
and tears enough to make a flood.
Add bullets with their copper glow,
some sharp reminders of grief and woe.

Pad the nest with each mistake,
paint it black with each heartbreak,
add broken bed springs, spirals of rust
for each betrayal and breech of trust.

No wonder, then, it's hard to rest,
in such a torment-ridden nest.


Details | Limerick | |

' Sweet, Little Man ... ' (Limerick # 3)

             ‘ Sweet, Little Man ’

There Was the Sweetest, Little Man, Named Nate
    Who was so Bald… He got a Headache
      From the Kisses, that were Planted
On His ( 2 Month-Old Head )… He Demanded …
“Why Won’t Mama, Put A Cap On My Pate ?


Details | Quatrain | |

The Woman In The Mirror

When I pass a mirror
and catch you watching me,
I'm stricken with the strangest chill
that no one else can see.

The resemblance is uncanny.
The face, the hair, the nose.
I'm even just about your height.
I guess that's how it goes.

I'll always be reminded 
of when you went away
each time I pass a mirror...
(That's every single day.)


Details | I do not know? | |

Careless

When it's her birthday,
They don't care.
She wakes up and wonders..
Is this fair?

She doesn't know her rights,
She cannot sleep at night.
She lies in bed,
And listens to her parents fight.

Is this the life,
That you wanted for her?
It's not her fault,
You hate her Father!

Why can't you talk to her?
If you don't, it's wrong.
She only needs your love,
To stay strong.


~Written in 2002 when I was thirteen.~


Details | Blank verse | |

Love me

Where were you when I was born daddy,
why did you leave me  all alone.
When I was in her belly,
did you leave her or were you there.

Mommy why must you go through this. 
Why cant you see this is hurting me.
I dont want to live like you,
mommy and daddy.

I hate that your always gone, daddy.
I hate that your always high, mommy.
Tell me why,
why you cant love me?


Details | Free verse | |

Is That You . . ?

The scuffing of slippered feet 
stoop shouldered baby steps 
can’t climb the stairs 
can’t get to the potty 
button my buttons, please 
I need a nap 
come read to me . . . 
hair needs washing 
winter’s coming 
wrap me in a blanket, dear 
tuck me in and shut the door 
but, God, don’t leave me here 
I know your face, seems close somehow 
but that memory’s not too clear 
nice to see you, dear 
do I know you, dear? 
you’ve such lovely green eyes – 
like mine . . .


Details | Lyric | |

Broken Home

I hear a car door slam.
As I lie awake in bed.
I know now that you’re hear.
A single tear is shed.

I sense what will occur,
When you stumble through the door.
You’ll take it out on her,
Then leave her shattered on the floor.

She’ll pick herself back up again,
Then come into my room.
And tell me that she can sustain.
All your binding doom.

But I know it’s not the truth,
She’s slowly dyeing inside.
You’re taking away her youth,
While she swallows all her pride.

I know she thinks of running away,
But she realizes it’s no use.
There will be a price to pay,
And it will end in more abuse.


Details | I do not know? | |

Everyday Child Abuse (2003)

Strolling into town do you know what I see?
I see mothers hurt their children down to their knee
It’s on for her to have fags but not even a drink for their thirsty child
Swearing, hitting and abuse going wild
Why does no one act upon this?
There’re scared that there going to get the fist
A baby punched in the ribs
What other abuse goes on in their tiny cribs
I intervened and got threatened to be killed
That poor tiny life that has to be rebuilt 
Its usually single mothers who are suffering alone
All they need to do is pick up the phone
It’s not on to abuse your little ones because you are too
There life string is only you


Details | Free verse | |

sick

we are the enemy.
i am
of your blood.
our first seperation
 in tears.
our second seperation
in blood.
my skin is thick
no longer transparent,
sweet,
beautiful.
ugly, rotting, masturbating insides.
maggots, dead flies.
how beautiful am i now?
lurking in the shadows.
foggy minded.
blunt, cutting, searching for veins.
i didnt have to be this way.
your creation.
i am
of your blood.
one last seperation
cut the cords that bind me to you.
let
me
go.


Details | Free verse | |

Can the Past Be Changed On a Whim?

Why?
How?
Can you leave me standing,
Alone,
Afraid,
And not shed a tear,
Or
Even bother to look back.
Or 
Think of what you've left,
Or
What you had.
Could you even know of all that I have given?
The blood shed.
The soul lost,
Forever,
To a darkness unknown
Inhabited by creatures better left unnoticed.
Foul.
Fetid.
Deadly.
This is my legacy??!??!
This is what you gave me?
This,
 Is what I have to offer!!
But,
Can it change?


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Fallen'

Rounds are fired,
The young soldier falls,
Young no more,
Forward into a rice paddy,
The silence is eerie
Ten thousand miles away,
His mother senses,
A long, long wait for her,
Her tears will make an ocean,
His girlfriend cries,
From unknown emotion,

Twenty years from now,
Will anyone remember him?
Why he was there,
Where is he now?

Elsewhere a weathered grave marker,
Strips the dead of their identity,
Doesn't seem to matter,
No one will come to see

Billions die such pointless deaths
In hopes they've made a difference
And done a duty,
So ill defined,
To drift into the past,
Away from time...

Away from reasons,
They will never understand,
Nor many of us,
In this great land.


Details | Free verse | |

just tell her.

talk to her,
you plead with me.
just tell where you are,
just let her know that youre alright.
am i really alright?
does she even deserve to know?
you only get one mother,
you're speaking quieter now.
because you lost your mother,
because i know youre still in love with mine.
but please dont make me do it.
i know i'm pouting now,
glowering,
acting like a toddler.
no words escape from my mouth,
as though its been sewn shut.
i dont want to pick up the phone,
or type each letter for her to read and understand.
you slip $50 in my hand.
just talk.
just tell her,
just tell her.
but i cant do it.
not with the pulse of bribery in my palm,
not with the longing in your eyes.
you could never understand what she has done to me.


Details | Free verse | |

Miss Nonine

I wish
That I had a chance to know a mother
Like the ones others have
Like you
I wish
She had been one to care
Like a mother should
To love us equally
As we are
To love me a little
I wish
I could say I’d cry when I lose her
But all the tears I’ve ever known 
Were beaten from me
With vicious whips and cracking words
What would I grieve for?
I wish
I had memories like those I hear them recall
Of a mother who held them close
Who whispered softly “Things will turn out alright”
Who didn’t bribe them to hide their shame 
Who didn’t hide them to lock them away
Chase them away
I wish 
I had a mother I could call my mother
One I could call “Mom” just once and mean it
Like they mean it
I wish 
I could look back on my life and see the happiness there
Only this time unmarred by harsh words and deeds
Where I was given a blessing of faith
In hope and in a promise of happiness
Instead of despair
Instead of broken promises
I wish 
I wish I had a mother like you
Just like you


Details | Blank verse | |

The Vagabond


I am just a lonely man, 
brilliant I suppose. 
And no one knows, 
my father beat me 
when I was a child;
as my mother watched
and drank Southern Comfort. 
I couldn’t tell anyone.
No one knows,
how I broke the T.V. 
to get my Dad back for killing
my dog
when I was three.
As my Mother watched
and shot heroin.
I couldn’t help but try it;
my Mother was the world to me.
And there’s a mind in here
behind this bandana,
but no one knows it
because I try so hard
to be liked.
I’ve felt many things,
but never that.
One day my voice will be heard;
hopefully by me first,
and then I can rest easy at night,
on this rock-solid floor
on a westbound freight train 
headed to New Orleans.
And that won’t be so bad. 
I am just a lonely man,
brilliant I suppose.

I just need someone to listen.


Details | I do not know? | |

That damn principal

(This is a true story)

A boy faced racism in his school.
He learned that some people can be very cruel.
One of his patients is black and the other is white.
He was treated worse than a dog and that wasn't right.
His principal told him to his face that he's a mistake.
That was too much for that boy to take.
That man is a moron and I can't believe what he did.
It's wrong to say that to anybody but it's even worse to say it to a kid.
The school board must have been on dope when that principal was hired.
I was mad at first but then I was happy because I heard that he got fired.


Details | Free verse | |

Moth, Moth

Moth, Moth
Flickering flame too near,
Attraction to your death
You're too hypnotized to fear
As you flirt with your final breath

Moth, Moth,
Your mother off and
to the side,
Watches you do
your dangerous dance
In frustration she has cried...

Moth, Moth
Return to your Mother Moth's
protective love
Don't dive into that flame
Can't you hear the cries above?

Moth, Moth...
Meth, Meth...
Flickering flames
You fly too close
to untimely death.


Details | Blank verse | |

The drugs

She got caught up.
in doing what her friends were.
No matter what she didnt care.
Even if it meant abandoning her children.
The foolish excitment.
The foolish pride.
Now the drugs have taken over
the demons that drove her.
She screams in pain,
she screams in rage.
She can not see.
The pain she caused me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Reality

A mother's love you miss so much
A father's hand, can't feel the touch
A loss so great, can't stand to feel
A family gone, was it ever real

A baby's skin, no longer to hold
An open heart, now so cold
Those beautiful eyes, no longer to see
That ominous love, no more for me

That man's love can't be true
His loving words, no more I love you
His anger erupts, oh how it burns
Those demonic eyes, oh how he turned

The angels above call my name
Rising above this world, nothings the same
My body and soul disconnect
As the rope tightens around my neck


Details | Bio | |

Seagulls

My mother, for reasons she never did explain
Loved seagulls, and summer's driving heavy rain,

When she died early of cancer,
Well before she ought
And dad and me went to the morticians,
A proper coffin that we sought

When my father saw one with seagulls
emblazoned nicely on the inside,
He knew immediately what to get,
It was so coincidental, and we almost cried,

The funeral came three days later,
And a long drive it would be,
The length of Long Island,
To the national cemetery

Now there were only 3 cars in
prosession,
And we rode behind the hearse,
I was mad for such a poor turnout
So what could get much worse?

But the oddest thing did happen,
That  morning before our trip,
A seagull circling the house,
Was I losing grip?

Seagulls in downtown Queens,
Many miles from the nearest shore
In all the years I'd lived there,
I'd never seen one there before

Now the turnout for the funeral,
disappointing as it was,
Was more than compensated,
By the seagulls flight above.


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

As kids, we fell and you
Helped us up.
My mother, unemployed, tended to our every need.

As kids, we fell and you
Yelled and made us do it again.
My father, employed, suffocated our souls.

As teens, we needed love advice.
My mother explained consequences of our actions.

As teens we needed love advice. 
My father explained the "four F's".

Now as adults, 
We only include our mother in our lives.
Wonder why?


Details | I do not know? | |

Mother's Day

Words never leave us like people will.
We keep up the sad appearance, the shrill
sentences rubbed raw, the frayed frill.

We do not talk of these forgotten things,
for only the recorded fact brings
the distortions of alabaster wings.

You remain just a surname mother,
put aside years ago, awaiting other
praise, the life emotions never utter.

We take no time to quote ourselves here.
Mutely, we wait revelation, the clear
crystal drinking glass with the white deer.

But there are no promises now or frames,
love's calligraphy is varicose veins.


Details | Ballad | |

A POEM FOR OLIVER

I cannot rest, 
you see
For such turmoil
Affects me

Such bitter fighting
Hurt me
I was not part of your war
You, let it be

I suffer now
So needlessly
For, you took your pain
and your anger
Again and again
On me...

I cannot make peace with you
For, your wounding words
Cut me through

Things can never go back
To way they have been
Let us build on new things
For, some actions
Are better left unseen

I wish you had not said
All those hurtful things
I acknowledge your pain
For those words...
Inwards, I bled
It can never be the same

For amongst so much
Anger and pain
I want a mothers' love again

Can we not start
Sometime soon?
Forget the hurtful words
That paralyse the heart

Love can never die
It always remains
In the hearts of you and I


Details | Free verse | |

Dimly Lit Street

He walks down
The dimly lit
street of drug use
His body and mind
Take abuse

Somewhere
his mother waits
Eyes turned inward
Pain never abates

How could this
happen to me?
What is it
that I don't see??

This is my baby
Born innocent
and pure...
Who stole him
from me?
Will this horror
long endure?

How do I
reach out?
What to say?
How much pain,
must I pay?

God, give me strength,
God, give me hope,
God help my child,
Be weaned from dope.

I'll pay whatever price
you ask,
If you help me,
with this task...

Take my soul,
Return him his
Let his life
return to its
proper path,
I will bear
any wrath

This is all
I ask of you
Please show me
dear Lord,
what
I need to do.


Details | Free verse | |

My Image

Allow this stranger of another species to become me. how i dare not breathe 
because of my own me. Of all the things that i believe. Of all the things i conceive. 
I'd pick you. Through my journey's. all my paths what forth can i not adhere to. I 
stick with my past. For they seem to last. an won't let this stop me. this has not 
yet  opt to me. Let me go i want to breathe, the air you breathe. the way you walk, 
talk in your sense, know your time of gesture. I am what you want me to be. I can't 
be what anybody else see's. Im just your foreshadow. What the outside sees 
before the inside does. Help me get me out of here. Oh i can't im stuck until you 
die away and remember you are beautiful. Inside and out. Im your mother. Im 
your Mirror Image.


Details | I do not know? | |

Hide Away

What exactly has happened to you in these last few years?
Did you get tired of crying pointless tears?
Was it that you got tired of giving your all?
Or maybe you’re just too tired to keep standing tall

Let me tell you, I’m sorry for what you’ve been put through
And for how much I’ve continued to disappoint you
But I can only be who I know to be
To be and do the things that set me free

You pride yourself on how well you do, how much money you make
Why all the sudden do I feel like you’re a fake?
You’ve changed, and certainly not for the better
Remember what you told me? Ahead, there is always better weather

Maybe I have gone against the ways you raised me
Do you think you pushed too hard so I could be who you wanted me to be?
I’m tired too, or do you even care anymore?
It’s looking to be about that time, I have to go out on my own to explore

It’s just too bad, because I thought I’d always have you by my side
But since all you do is complain, all I know to do is hide


Details | Lyric | |

Circles

Drowning in your perfections,
Strangled by your deceptions,
I am waiting for the truth and lies to be sifted.

I have known you longer than you me,
You watch me, but cannot see me.
You reach me, but cannot touch me.

Overwhelmed by your expectations,
Suffocated by your wishes,
I am never going to get to the corner of this circle.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Dead Hand

( Since 1987, a group of Ugandan military rebels, called the Lords Resistance army has
been kidnapping, raping and torturing Ugandan children.At Night, these children are forced
to leave their villages and walk for miles to safe cages, in hopes that they won't be take
by the LRA...They have been dubbed The Night Walkers.This is my response to them...)

Everything I see leaves a mark on my soul

And it is with this bleeding heart that I suffer with you

I am there when the nights are long and weary

Watching the devils pour out of the darkness

To take you sons and rape your daughters

I am there to wait for the smoke to clear long enough to survey the wreckage

The Horrors not meant to burden the human soul

And I am there to feel the fires

To count in silent despair

To cover the bodies

Your husbands

Your brothers

The tiny hands of a wasted nation

Knowing that there are enough tears within us all to soak the cracked earth upon which you
stand, to wash away the dirt and ages from a million hardened faces and fill the hollow
pits of swollen stomachs

But you are the forgotten ones

Alone in your grief

And for that I am sorry

So instead I lay my heart next to yours and watch as the army of faceless monsters march
your babies into darkness

Forced to kill their fathers and brothers

Raping the bodies of their sisters and mothers

Waiting in bated frustration as the dead hand of abhorration is laid across the forheads
of your young

And even now I stand beside you

Shaking my fist at an unrelenting sky

Screaming into the deaf ears of a world devoid of humanity

Crying away your forgotten sorrows

It is with this bleeding heart that I call out but there is no answer