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Metaphor Humorous Poems | Metaphor Poems About Humorous

These Metaphor Humorous poems are examples of Metaphor poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Metaphor Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme | |

The King of Sanctimonious

The King of Sanctimonious
Perched high upon his throne-ious
Clothed in purple pious-ness
Admired his own self-righteous-ness

The Queen of Sanctimonious
Tired of the King's baloney-ous
When he counts his hoards of money
To him, sweeter than his honey

In a court that wasn't courteous
The Queen cried, "you're oblivious!"
But he wasn't aware, nor did he care
He'd become a Royal hypocrite

Day after day, he counted each coin
The ritual put a flutter in his groin
Reveling in his Royal room
Soon became his tomb of gloom

The Royal epitaph was no baloney-ous
When the king was found
 'Tis said he drowned
In a fermented bottle of loneliness



Details | Free verse | |

The Elephant in the Room

3 polished oak fans,
Swirling in robotic unison

High maintenance socialites,
Sipping on Merlot fallacies

Lemon yellow coated walls,
Flat,
Like their smiles

Comparisons of dangling Porsche & Bentley keys
A glorified day care center,
Pacifiers included

The muted virtuosos speak softly in hymn dialects.

Courtesy laughter in snob’s octave

Their heads twitching side to side,
Left to right to left

An equilibrium facing assault charges against self

They slow dance to cello dreams
And E minor dividends

Two-step monotone, sway
Against platinum lacquer foundations

…

But, it was then.

These same socialites,
Made of recycled candle wax
And rubberized, hedge-fund confidence,
Began to stare longingly at the party host’s 70 inch plasma TV

Proudly imported from China

“Attention uptight snobs of Mecca!
The city zoo has imploded!
The monkeys revolted!
The zebras were tired of being racially profiled!
Run for your LIV…!”
(SMASH!)

And before the reporter’s frightened inner child could finish’s his clause,
An elephant crashes into the decadent room
Filled with Crisp linen scents of Febreze & judgmental fear

It stares at the socialites,
Laughing heartedly as it playfully stomps away into constellation’s onyx night

As tears waterfall from the snobs’ sobbing eye sockets
As if they just listened to another Celine Dion song

The real newsflash

Metaphors played hooky today

©Drake J. Eszes


Details | Lyric | |

KILL A BEAT 2

I bring hit after hit like a boxer
You haters' inconsistent
Everybody's on the same vibe
Mine's kinda' different
Verse hot, hook hot--
I'm gon' sellout soon as I drop
Verse hot, hook hot--
I'm gon' sellout soon as I drop

Minor in poetry, fine-arts major

Doctor goon on deck, call this a fear-factor

I'm going in, but I ain't got no curfew

I son a lot of you, it's like I birth you

Got a lot of verses, but this ain't a Bible

Fallout when you hear this, I ain't liable

Ain't talking 'bout tearing, but the beats R.I.P

Didn't sell a lot of tracks, but I got D.O.E

Put you up on game, my hustle's M.O.E

Music over everything, ain't moving 'D'

I got cash like the bank, I sell CD's

Smells funny, tickled my nose, I might sneeze

You would think I'm water, the way I flow

I'm just like some dynamite, bound to blow

Act like you're in a recliner, lay back

If I ain't on fire, then why they say that?

Feature, feature, can I get a feature

So far ahead I sit on competition--bleacher

My Raps' like a bunch of apartment buildings, complex

Got chicks on my jock', ain't talking 'bout sex

I'm so different, it's magnificent

Haters want me to fall, but that's not how the script went

Thing's fishy, I ain't gettin' caught in that net

Just killed the beat, without breaking a sweat


Details | Haiku | |

The Internet: Return

A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
Procrastination!


Details | Rhyme | |

PLAY-BOY 1

You know why I run game? It's 'cause I'm a player
I'm the night in shining armor, she's a dragon, I'm gon' slay her
That means when I beat it up, I'm gonna kill it
Tell her keep our business to herself, don't spill it
Can't follow directions, then it's on to the next
Hope you get the message, not talking 'bout a text

I sleep with more chicks than a night-gown

Without 'em I'm like a sentence with no noun

For those who don't know that means incomplete

It's a race to get 'em first, I gotta' compete

They wanna be on the team, tryin' to make the cut

True player, show no feelings, keep 'em in a shell, walnut

Females fill my atmosphere, they mean the world to me

I got damsels galore, it's always plural with me

Got gangs of chicks, which one should I bang

They're steady in my face, sort of like some bangs

Hate when they try to lock me down, I'm not in jail

She starts talking 'bout marriage, then I'm gonna bail

Sometimes I need my space, like a vacant lot

I hate being congested, like a nose filled with snot

Hey, stop bugging me, you startin' to act like a knat

Before you go, give me head, I need it like a hat


Details | Rhyme | |

STASHING CASH 2

Where I'm from we don't do debts, fronts, or take tabs
They don't understand nothing but stashing cash
Put that money on the head, you don't need a mask
They don't understand nothing but stashing cash
How is a broke fool gon' try and smash
They don't understand nothing but stashing cash

Money on my mind like bread on a sandwich

I run the city, they're the lights, I'm the switch

I stand for what's mine, never see me slip and fall

I'm runnin' the race, you're a baby with a slow crawl

My cash stay on point, like a sharpened pencil

Try 'n' copy my style, you gon' need mo' than a stencil

I don't be's in the trap, buy my workers put-in overtime

Feds can't catch me, never see me committin' crime

That's why from time to time I shoot 'em a raise

And tell 'em to stash cash for those rainy days

If money talk, then there's nothing to say

If B.S walk, none of ya' fools can stay

My money talkin' for me, betta' yet, it's in a conversation

Ya' look like money; make money, nice observation

They say the love of money's the root of all evil

So how much money will it take to really love people


Details | Rhyme | |

STASHING CASH 1

Where I'm from we don't do debts, fronts, or take tabs
They don't understand nothing but stashing cash
Put that money on the head, you don't need a mask
They don't understand nothing but stashing cash
How is a broke fool gon' try and smash
They don't understand nothing but stashing cash

My Green could fill-up a Bay, need a few Packers

Haters look, fold and crumble like Ritz-crackers

Money comes and goes, but you know mine stays

Like a well-trained dog, sometimes it even lays

Money brings power, respect, gotta' have the jewels

Call me a handy-man, I stay with my tools

I know it sounds messed-up, but it's money-over-everything

My weight's been up, you just started like a flower in spring

My money keeps flippin', like some Burgers on a grill

Money on me heavy, like a work-out, makes me sweat fo'real

Active, got a million hustles, I'm motivated and dedicated

Call me and money happily married, we can't be separated

Not talking movies, but I bet you ain't seen this in a while

My money's long, go 'head, call it the green mile

Long as I'm stashing cash, I'll always come out on top

Like a junkie smokin' dope, me making money won't stop


Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!


Details | Free verse | |

Three Inch Cliches

The Soul is the Beautiful Light of Love
Shining like the sun through the 
NO
As the reader, I’m going to have to cut you off there.
Here’s a metaphor for you…
Reading is ****ing.
And your words hit our auditory canals
Like a hotdog down a hallway.
As an experienced reader, I’m after 
The virgin vernacular 
The aphrodisiac aphorism
You know- the big… black words
You feel me?
Because a line is a flashlight, exposing the world’s nudity-
And we’ll never get anywhere shining it in the same spot.
So kiss me with classy couplets
Smack my assonance!
Bring me to the climax-
And we’ll share a smoke together,
Warm beside the fire of your Three Inch Clichés.


Details | Light Poetry | |

I am a Genius

I am who I was born to be

Another voice of sanity
Maybe crazy, but do you know?

Art nouveau, in words I paint

Greatness of the pen, this is me
Eternal thoughts into ink I write
Nothing escapes this brilliant mind
I compose for those who see, and those whom are blind
Universal wisdom's, happiness in verse
Salvation or wine, the poison is free







Details | Rhyme | |

MONEY BANK 1

Let the stream of cash in, flood-gate
Like the Casino, I'll keep chips in your plate
Big-ballin', throw it in the pot, high stakes
Don't sleep, keep watch for fakes and snakes
So much dead pres' to burn, it's a crime
Surprised I ain't in the Feds, doing hard time

Forget 'bout Simon, do what the money says

I dish-out money, like candy from a Pez

Dispenser, destined to do this since I was born

I make it rain, you can't weather this storm

All these accounts, my name should be Fill-More-Banks

I keep the cash secure, it wouldn't be safer in tanks

Fast money, accountant, lost track of how much I earn

The money's wind to my sail, it controls where I turn

I'm eating right now, stack the money like pancakes

You know I love beef, put everything up for stakes

Eating up these problems, got me puttin' on some pounds

BS walk, money talk, you tell me how that sounds?

Hold-up, freeze, don't nothing move but the money

You can't afford to pay attention--it's free, dummy!

Class is in, cash the topic, you failed, watch and learn

Set the city on fire, cremated, get it a urn


Details | Lay | |

I AM INTELLIGENCE

I AM INTELLIGENCE!
In world of mannequins, I step to the cause. I see this woman fussing at her child about wanting to go to the park. How formed is this. Hello Lady and such a beautiful boy he is. He wants to play in the park. However, you do not have time for that. Let me see if I can solve your problem. I am Intelligence. Intelligence is a superhero that forms very delightful scenes. I am humorous as well. With superhuman powers, I provide a child with a dream. I give this one the dream of playing in the park. The child stops crying and obeys his mother. In another episode, I am sent, telepathically, an abusive scene. I transform arriving there instantly. Through superhuman powers, I find a nurse and instruct him via mind to be compassionate. Intelligence watched for several days. The facility conformed their healthcare tactics to better ways. A little girl has broken her leg. Her mother neglects and flagellates her more when she does not feel well. Intelligence has watched for a short while. The scene was sent via the mother verbally abusing her child. Then she would stop for quite some time. However, the child broke her leg while riding her bike. The mother sees the chance to abuse outright. Intelligence deploys to her mind and the mother begins to praise the child. Intelligence is a moralistic superhero. No age or race barriers does this superhero has. In the time of hostilities, I am there. I was given my superhuman abilities to achieve peace unconditionally. ----------------------------------------------------------------------| PENNED ON AUGUST 30, 2014!


Details | Free verse | |

Cookies-Food For Thought

Cookies -
Why can’t I have the chocolate one
I want more
She took my cookie
Hers is bigger than mine
I want to trade
That’s not fair

Cookies +
Thank you for the cookie
I love you
Thanks for all you do for me
I am satisfied
This is good
I am loved
Written By  Deborah Finneran :)  2013


Details | Rhyme | |

PLAYER 1

I spit game proper, like a pro-batter, I got the right stroke
I work deals, like it's Black-Friday, I'm far from broke
I can't help but make the girl proud and gay
Want some of my time, like takes, you too gotta' pay

She don't act up, but she's so bad, discipline

Put her in time-out, punishment, a great beatin'

When I'm hittin' her good, she calls me daddy

I'm her trophy, showcase me, friends wish they had me

Too easy, always give it up, her man call it robbery

Termite, loves wood, told me have my log handy

Do what I order, like a puppet, no-strings-attached

Not a crook, but like a purse, your chick got snatched

Not intimate, gold-digger, money makes her cum

It's me, her, and a bag of money, three-sum

You got flushed-down-the-drain, but I'm the crap, feces

You're gone, don't make 'em like me, endangered species

Got fire-wood, leave the 'coochie' smoking like a Newport

Done with you, on to the next, long stick, but life's short

Get attached, space myself, I come around less

Bad sex, back-stabbing, bull, I ain't with the B.S


Details | Rhyme | |

PISTOL READY 1

Hood fellow, pull her hair like I do the trigger
Plenty of cash, don't care if she's a gold-digger
She broke-up with her ex and got me, lost and found
Get in bed, take out my pistol, let off a round
Shoot her up, shoot her up, bang, bang
Blowing on my mic', the best song she ever sang

The chick's riding me, she started to pant

She dropped down low, started giving brain, transplant

She's eating that wood, like she's a termite

Got something to quench her thirst, but it's not sprite

I think I might go down-town, to get some dessert

She's like a water gun when she climax, squirt

Always takes showers, but she's oh so dirty

Started at three, it's going on four-thirty

Make sure I meet her needs, you're a minute man

She say I got flavor, but you're kinda' bland

I'm speeding, you get home at six, it's rush-hour

Gotta' clean up for you, hit it in the shower

She's so wet, it's like swimming in the ocean

Hop out the shower, dry off, wipe her down with lotion

Starts to get upset, said she wanted me to stay

Ain't in Florida, but she might go M.I.A


Details | Clerihew | |

Not, yet

I dreamt myself as poet-frog
And good Fancy` Fairy
Would stoop to pick my verse…
But she didn`t come.


Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | Imagism | |

The Red Symphony

A self-written poem begun in Christmas Time,
While it tasting the soup and looking for rhyme.
In the kitchen, neighbor with the quiet tomato paste,
The sorcerer's apprentice, a poet pretty well placed
Near Soups (ciorbe) with characteristic sour taste
With luminous face and much grace added the rest:
As he was sipping and tasting from raw and cooked.
His group had a passionate look at what was booked
For the dinner: These might be meat and vegetable soups.

They had to choose till the coming of the helping troops
For the pig`s sacrifice rite, old mixture of joy and grief
Under the hot and long debrief of the pleasant smell-thief 
Tripe soup (ciorba de burta) hard prepared from beef,
And calf foot soup (ciorba de vitel), with green-gold leaf 
Pickled soup (supa de moare) with pork and big rice;
But use the dice to decide between spice and allspice.

From the slaughtered pig the village` families prepare: 
Carnati - sausages  kept in special aromatic smoke 
Of wet fir and oak burned at small fire as enjoyed by folk;
Caltabos - sausages made with liver sprinkled with beers;
Toba and piftie - dishes using pig's feet, head and ears 
Suspended in aspic like a frozen symphony in red
After cups of plum brandy and before going the bed
Tochitura - pan-fried pork to bid it a farewell, twice
Served with mamaliga - palesta , and red wine with ice,
Or boiled wine with pepper and cinnamon against frost; 
So that the pork can swim and the verse were glossed;
Piftie - inferior parts of the bashful pig, mainly the tail, 
Feet and ears, kind of meal like taken from a fairytale
In which all are cooked and served in a form of gelatin
In this naturalist field, all the poets smile like Mr.Bean;
                                                                              
Jumari - small pieces of pig meat are fried and tumbled 
Through various spices if after all, you are a little troubled 
 And may falter some poetical from the famous songs
Like "So, good people drink…" couples of diphthongs
Since Saturday to Thursday and make colorful the gray.

This poem was written in the Night of Tuesday to Friday.
 
( And later we`d find that the housewife had covered with it  the pickles cucumbers jar.)


Details | Rhyme | |

BAR NONE 1

No holds barred, utter defeat is what I see in those cards
No holds barred, utter defeat is what I see in those cards

It's a dirty world, but my heat's considered hand sanitizer

Made my dreams become reality, I'm not a big 'fanisizer'

My trap got cheese, but I'm trying to keep away rats

Life's a gamble, take a chance, like playing craps

Time to take you to school, and money's the topic

Smokin' on Jamaica helps me focus, I keep something tropic

Cash rules everything 'round me and it's in my pocket

That means I'm in control, if this was a plane, I'm in the cockpit

I'm a hustler, got more bricks than a construction site

I stay fresh, I'm flyer than a first-class flight

By any means necessary, hard times call for drastic measures

Get in my way, and get buried like pirate's treasures

Never see me fold, it's like I got the winning hand in Poker

I'm more dangerous than cancer in the lungs of a smoker

Talk crazy, catch a hook, how's that for a punchline

Show me the competition, I call that lunch-time


Details | Rhyme | |

BAR NONE 2

No holds barred, utter defeat is what I see in those cards
No holds barred, utter defeat is what I see in those cards

Read these cowards faces like pages of a book

Haters wanna steal my fame, they're something like a crook

They must think I'm a tree, lumber-jackin', trying to see me fall

Can't stop my hustle, pockets on full, theirs looking small

I stay on my feet, similar to a pair of shoes

I'm the Road-runner, they're Wiles-E-Coyote--doing nothing but lose

See me, I'm ballin', even if I was injured I wouldn't quit

When I Rap, I'm a cobra, straight-venom I spit

I see no competition, in this game I'm a predator

Fools get out of place, get erased, call me an editor

I'm the talk of the town, females gossipin', haters hatin'

Hottest in the streets, this ain't an election, no debatin'

I took a couple losses, came across and fought a couple bosses

It's a dirty game, like a mouth you never brushes or flosses

Stay on point, I'm sharper than barb-wire

I'm the king 'round here, so you can call me Sire


Details | Rhyme | |

TAKE-OVER 2

Streets made me, that's why I bleed cement
Your hour has come, your time is spent
My strap spoils fools, expiration date
Class was in, you din't participate

Raised your hand, it's good to ask questions

Pay attention, don't cost much, even in recessions

Beginning of the end, this is a take-over

If you're sluggish, better move over

Came from the bottom, now I'm elavatin'

Fully focused, like I'm testin'

Keep my eyes on the prize, ignore distractions

Reflexes like a cat, no late reactions

Ain't playin' in movies, but I'm quick to act

I'm an over-achiever, I never lacked

Like an all-in pot, I gave it everything

Married to the game, I got it a ring

Devoted to money, never catch me cheatin'

To me, getting paid is better than skeetin'

Hustling is like Viagra for making cash

At times it gets hard, and it makes it last


Details | Rhyme | |

PISTOL READY 2

Hood fellow, pull her hair like I do the trigger
Plenty of cash, don't care if she's a gold-digger
She broke-up with her ex and got me, lost and found
Get in bed, take out my pistol, let off a round
Shoot her up, shoot her up, bang, bang
Blowing on my mic', the best song she ever sang

Got flavor, cold with all this ice, like a 'Slurpee'

Got something for your chick to drink, she slurps me

Definitely ain't praying, but she gets on her knees

Her head game is fire, nine-hundred-degrees

It's like she's educating me, gives me good brain

While she's down there, I pull her hair, like a horse's mane

She's a vampire, sucking on the neck of my second head

Not the one on my shoulders, but the one used in bed

She told me to eat her out, went down and bit it

She can't stand violence, but loves the way I hit it

Beat the 'Coochie' up, bedroom turned into a boxing arena

Call it domestic violence, no court, no subpoena

Riding me, I'm thinking 'bout gettin' her a saddle

We rocking the boat right now, ain't got a paddle

Making a movie, this the best part, 'bout to climax

She loves when I come over, got everything her man lacks


Details | Rhyme | |

PLAYER 2

I spit game proper, like a pro-batter, I got the right stroke
I work deals, like it's Black-Friday, I'm far from broke
I can't help but make the girl proud and gay
Want some of my time, like takes, you too gotta' pay

Like a hole, she do nothing but dig me

I'm like Kurmit the frog, she's miss Piggy

She can't leave me alone, like a mother to an infant

Like soft soil, I step in her life, leave an imprint

I handle her with care, like a fragile antique plate

When she express her feelings, I pretend I can relate

Never catch me cheatin', I'm a true player

I run her, if she's a city, I'm the mayor

Your chick left with me, not coming back--runaway

You ain't do her right, I took her in like a stray

Chicks throwin' me that pussy-cat, do I look like a vet?

They call me Super-soaker, the way I get 'em wet

My damsels come in pairs, like a set of earings

I don't put up with their problems,

I ain't a Judge handling hearings

Want your chick back, take her, can't get a receipt

Funny, how I got you off rhythm, moving to my beat


Details | Free verse | |

A GIRL JUST WANTS TO HAVE FUN

Friday night and I am already high as a kite plus this is a girl’s night out.
I will take a nap to lower my high and awaken ready to party.
This is my night to enjoy me.

I am awoke and sober.
The clock ticks four p.m.
My arousal is provoking incitement.

Humor the soul
Ignite the spirit
This is my night out.

I move to my closet and chose my outfit.
My selection is a sky blue maxi.
I smile mentally and know this well get me attention.
I am single by the way; however, I have had prior engagements.

In the club now, loud and rowdy, my wit will not end.
I am drinking bourbon.
Shall I go straight tonight or am I a gay girl?
My sexual feeling is driving me wild.
Has my sex partner made it in the house?

Humor the soul
Ignite the spirit
This is my night out.

Boisterous I precede.
He enters via the east wing.
He is dressed to kill.
I sashay toward him.
Someone pulls me on the dance floor.
He takes a seat and waits for me with eyes glowing.

The dance ends.
He holds out his hand.
Together we leave.

Specters we are.
Spiritually alive!
This is my night out.
__________________|
Penned on May 07,2014!
For Kelly's Deschler Night Owl Contest!


Details | Rhyme | |

BREAD HUNGRY 2

Making this cash, I hope that it last
Make sure my dreams don't shatter like glass
Living in the streets, got me moving fast
I can't let this opportunity in my grip pass
Gotta' get this cash, gotta' get this cash

I found the money tree, went and got my rake

Now it's like everyday's my birthday, I stay with cake

Get money, everything else will fall in place

It'll hold you down, without it, zero gravity, outer-space

Money's like the sun, my world revolves around it

Got a pool full of cash, jump-in and drown in it

I'm chasing this cash, like a cat do mice

Gotta' get this bread, I'm talking more than a slice

I need a whole loaf, I'm trying to eat a meal

Fry you like bacon, pig, if you ever squeal

See me gettin' bread, wanna snitch, 'cause you're a hater

I'm done eatin', tip you, like you're a waiter

Break you off, just to keep you off my trail

Didn't even start my journey yet, 'bout to set sail

Money galore where I've been, but more where I'm going

Like blood in veins, till the day I die, the cash keeps flowing


Details | Haiku | |

All About the Music: The Infinite Magic of Lyricism

Pop may be catchy
But not lyrically deep
Case in point: Chris Brown.


(N.B. Poem written after hearing "Don't Wake Me Up")


Details | Haiku | |

Le Vacance Pretentieuse: Storm Part V

The English weather:
Rainclouds follow us from home
There is no escape.


Details | Rhyme | |

SCENEMATIC 1

Movie in the making, viewer discretion
Keep your mouth shut, forget witness protection
Better keep it discreet, avoid detection
Complete the play, can't afford a deflection
This the real deal, it ain't a gimmick
Watch and learn, just don't mimic

Statue-of-liberty, we're holding the torch

Running the race, but ain't competin' in sports

We're like bubbles in champagne, heading to the top

Come at me sideways, like a fish when it flop

Get popped, Glock's off safety, it's cocked

Or like an old rocking chair, get rocked

Leave you like I left your girl's 'coochie', beat-up

Don't want problems, you better speak-up

I'm a heavy-weight, you're lighter than a leaf

Eat you like a T-bone steak, I love beef

Money equals problem, problems come with money

I play the cards I was dealt, I'm good at Rummy

I'm not a treadmill, so don't try 'n' run me

Got money for rainy-days, even for when it's sunny

Like the Super-Dome, I'm on top of the game

I'm in it for the cash, ya'll can keep the fame


Details | Light Poetry | |

Thinking Outside the Box

... but first we must establish one thing:

What kinda box are we talking about here?

If it's the pizza variety then no thoughts necessary!
Just dig in and put off consequences 'til later.
Though afterwards you might be hugging your gut,
saying, "I think I ate way too much!"

But hold onto that thought!
(before you lose your lunch)

Were you thinking outside the box?
I truly don't believe you were,
otherwise you wouldn't have gone for seconds
even as your face was turning blue.

(what did you eat the cardboard too?)

If it's a chess set you had in mind
I'd be mighty impressed it you DIDN'T
think outside the box.

... are you really that intelligent
to plan out the whole game before
you even take off the lid?

Now that's just crazy talk!

Course maybe that's not it either.
Perhaps you were thinking about
that Japanese number game.

(Sudoku... is that what you mean?)

Though to be honest 81 boxes
makes me feel a bit green.

The possibilities are truly endless it seems;
cubicles, board games, pizza shops,
warehouses, super markets,

(Heck, you're living in one, by God!)

So next time you bring up such a topic
you would do well to not be so vague.
It seems were all victims of this obscurity
... with origins more unknown than the plague.


Details | Rhyme | |

GREEN HUNTER 1

Cash makes the world go round, spin
Don't I look like money, that's my twin
Gettin' money, like it's going out of style
I keep throwing it up, like it's bile
Got cash all over me, like it's a rash
You better chase that paper, stack that cash

Start it up like the kick-off, I'm the punter

I'm looking for the bucks, like a dear hunter

Lunatic with the paper, money-crazy

I sit back and count it, they call me lazy

Countin' all this money gave me paper cuts

Pockets' on full, fatter than donkey butts

I got eight figures, like I was ice skatin'

That's figure eight's, you know what I'm relatin'

I got bands, not the ones on your wrist

Yellow canary jewels, same color as piss

No manners, go to the bathroom when you pissed

Mad at me 'cause me and your girlfriend kissed?

She's curious, wanna know how money taste

Your chick's gone, like the T.V. show, 'Without-A-Trace'

Just like the problems, money comes with females

I'm bringing in all this paper from street sales


Details | Couplet | |

This item

Firm and hard in your hand;
swift movement like a fairy and her wand.
Gentle but bold as the tip rubs the surface,
each stroke is a new reason to be amazed.

An honor, a pleasure if you have it.
Many would crave for because it lit
up the sparks in your eyes and heart
to be able to use it for simple, pure art.

It's the birth place of ecstatic ideas.
Although the first step - many might fear
because it hurts, sometimes it bled
but after the opening it's pleasure's fed.

There are many ways to use
this fantastical item - a mind's muse:
either lay it down flat and nothing comes out
or move it upright and see the seedlings sprout.

Black on paper, white on the page.
It's the key to your imagination's cage;
it's everyone's true start to then land they planned;
it's this pencil, this pencil in my hand.


Details | Prose | |

In the sea beer

Those two submarines are playing cards on their lunch break,
Suddenly a boiled egg passes and say:
-Hi five what you guys doing?
-We are playing cards
-Can I play?!
-This is only for members. 
-That's OK 
-I was going to the barbershop anyway,
- Ask Hydra for a Beer egg 
- I have been going to AA man are you crazy!,
The egg vomits 
The submarines laugh 
Hydra juggles

Dedicated to Professor Adriano Moreira


Details | Rhyme | |

MONEY BANK 2

Let the stream of cash in, flood-gate
Like the Casino, I'll keep chips in your plate
Big-ballin', throw it in the pot, high stakes
Don't sleep, keep watch for fakes and snakes
So much dead pres' to burn, it's a crime
Surprised I ain't in the Feds, doing hard time

Making all this cash, you could say I invented it

Moving fast, speeding, put up a road-block, no preventin' it

I'm on a roll, pull out the spikes, can't flatten my tire

Gettin' this money on the low, but it takes me higher

Selling Mary J, Molly, and that white girl, no prostitution

Moving X and D, in the middle of finding a solution

I ain't doing algebra, money plus problems equals murder

Money talks, and all I hear from you is a murmur?

You poor, but I ain't talking 'bout serving drinks

I'm Balling, my chain's like a fence, got a lot of links

Back then, they locked me out, cash was the key to the door

I started from the bottom, got it from the floor

Dirty money, let it accumulate, sweep it with a broom

Wipe-out the marks with a mop, keep a clean room

Money keeps me ahead of the game, avoid defeat

I'm on the road to success, it's a one-way street


Details | Free verse | |

Silver Bells

Glimpsing his velvet silhouette amid the locker rooms shower...
Bronzed beauties masculine muscular physique; hypnotized by surprise ??
This golden stallion stirring emotions deep inside i never knew but could dare deny
Every ripple as every breath; feeling the blood, rushing to my head; making my way 
Unto his stall flowing locks, sandy blonde hair glistening droplets; crystals, hazel eyes. 


................................... * Smile, A Poem For Fun, LOL. ~  


Details | Free verse | |

Go Figure those Weeblitz Cry the Walliforth

“Go Figure…Those Weeblitz”… cry the Walliforth!
By Ingrid Showalter Swift

Of Walliforth...the Dreggors Gorth!
with calls of frobulation
The Spraliwongs do bleet and frong 
In roudious trapulation
the Wonder Bigiums flaunt their sternest defra-get-ulation!!!

but  still moril !
in magical mill…… in marvelous migration…
the Weeblitz sing 
a lilty wing
…………………of stupendous  
Glora…derid…eration


Details | Free verse | |

You Can Be

What would anyone do
if I woke up one day
and decided I was
going to be the next
murderer?
That I was going to steal my fathers gun,
and of course I start with him,
the feelings so rough,
tears bursting from my eyes.
I move on to my mother,
my brother,
my grandparents,
and with every kill
the emotion ebbs away.
Things get easier.
What would anyone do
if that day I
proclaimed to the world
that I no longer wanted to
live in this world?
I created the noose
from my old Playstation 3 controller cords,
wrote my last words
"To the world, **** you"
and made an ornament
out of myself on the
back of my bedroom door.
What would anyone do
if I decided one day that
The world is full of pixies and unicorns!
that everything was red,
oh but not the light fire red,
but instead the color of blood,
oh how magnificent things look!
I work for the trolls under
the bridge behind my house
he pays me in finger nails!
You told me I can be anything,
do anything,
so why do you look at me like I'm crazy?
I see the fairies, not you,
so who are you to say I'm insane?
They tell me I'm perfectly alright.
I never really understand why
people were comforted by such an obvious phrase,
I KNOW I can do whatever I want!
Just like Jim Jones wanted to
control and murder 1,000 people,
just like how the people of Rwanda
murdered each other;
brothers, fathers, neighbors fighting each other.
So what if I want to conquer china,
put rat poison in all the exports
and watch the world die,
its my decision right?
you told me so,
and I'll plead that,
I'll plead that you told me
I can murder the whole world,
start the zombie apocalypse,
destroy all animals in the world,
when I'm up in that electric chair.
Hello my future,
Good-bye Sanity.


Details | Lyric | |

Wandering Alone

While wandering alone, with not anything  to do
My mind became packed, with selfless feelings of you
Photographs scattered on the floor, eyes well up
Stuffs I could have said, stuffs I should have done

The language of words that make two as one


Details | Quatern | |

Snow with the glow of the white dawn

Snow with the glow of the white dawn;
Glittering beam on the white`s lawn; 
Up and down from the hill, when laugh  
Kids never know when it`s enough

Naively, it started to snow...
Mother`s big cake will grow and grow
For children`s journey with carols
Along the village, playing roles:

Bear and goat or taking the star 
And the plough for bringing so far
"It`s time of peace for cat and mouse." 
"Abundance in each blessed house!"

Then, each year gains new Paradise; 
Candles on the big cake arise;
Children`s ball became a red moon;
All that they need, a giant spoon
To taste dietetic whip cream.


Details | Rhyme | |

Our politicians

Our Politicians
They speak like politicians
And hold a great ambition.
They think they are right
And same speech they recite.
They always gather for a bite
Deciding who should start the fight.
All have their own stations
To be the victims of cremation.
They gather their own crowd
Who cheer and clap to any sound.
They think they are right
Only here for a bite.
They speak like Aristo
And act like Montecristo!
They smoke big cigars
And all drive tinted cars.
They dress in glitter
And all have Twitter.
They act so polite
But hardly can write.
Always in action
Only during the election.
To make a collection
Or a connection.
O What a time you feel like 
Committing a crime.

For a brief background about this poem, pls, read the poem (Beirut).


Details | I do not know? | |

Illegitimi non Carborundum

Illegitimi non carborundum ;-)


...Staggering, my vision cloudy,


I fall to the hard ground.


when life’s sharp left-jab leaves my face bloody,


and all that surrounds me, is the desolation of loss I feel all around.



I see myself slipping,

down the abyss to where nothingness exists,


still, I cling on, groping for a foothold,

for my will to stay persists.



I clamber up, I stand my ground, though battered and bruised I may be,


my curtain is not falling yet, I have some fight still left in me.



It is then, in the pit of despair, when all seems bleak and painful and dull,


I summon the strength from deep within,


I rise, slowly, to face the day,


I refuse to sink,

to wallow, to surrender, to throw in the towel,


to drown,


for I am stronger now,


indeed I am, after all the years, and all the battles,


I stand, bruised and bloody,


still,


I stand,


I refuse, to sink, to drown,


for they can try, to punish me some more,


but I shall not allow them to grind me down…


;-)


Details | Rhyme | |

Metaphor Remix

A language with so many sides
makes it hard to decide
which words I should use.
I get so confused!

Don’t throw out the baby with spilled milk?
Turn a sow’s ear into a purse of silk?
That bridge has sailed or burned, I’m told,
It seems this dog has grown too old!

A house of cards divided can’t win them all?
The grass is always greener before the fall?
I really should be sawing logs,
Instead, I’m kicking sleeping dogs!

A bird in the hand gathers no moss?
When you come to that bridge, look before you cross?
My chickens hatched before I could count them,
And there is no brass ring at the rainbow’s end!


Details | I do not know? | |

Starbucks rant


Jimmi style's free


Jimmi style's E


Monkey's makes the cheeks

Emotions are for weeks


Tonite I deepen the reef

Tonite I speak


Swollen bread makes liquor reek

Solders left behind makes me meek


Swollen teeth become harder than sleet

As I feed the letters to the greets

Ease into my weather with the need

Get it all together with a plead

And rotate to learn some speed

Retaliate by besting my beat

Slamming into the floor what I know how to need

Rest assured there is a girl out there for me

Rotate to please


Details | Senryu | |

future king


little prince named George 
a future king of England 
born with crown on head


Details | Free verse | |

My Secret Prison

Trapped again!

Maze hidden cheddar eluding 
every twisting turn a doorway 
to the path I’ve already forgotten
a spirit broken within each hidden cul-de-sac.

I cry.

Depression building my will 
crumbling into fatal despair
that rages with a whisper
as quiet as a hurricane.

I sleep.

I scream at one wall 
HA! HA! HA!
hundreds more continue laughing.
Right! Left! NO! RIGHT! Left! Right! LEFT! YES! Right!

I succumb.

Cheddar thoughts and running 
water sustain my desire to escape
through walls of scent
filled dreams of freedom.

I laugh.

Test complete. Failure.
Should have smelled for Camembert.


Details | Free verse | |

Love is Confusing

Oh love is confusing,
it has many definitions,
many tales of both fiction and non-fiction,
She loves him,
he loves her,
BUT WAIT! 
They both love someone else?
No true love anymore,
now it is like a compass
with a dial that spines out of control,
Go West-
Go North-
East-
and South-
...Yes- south toward the devils,
never north to paradise-
Love is confusing,
(a confession believed a lie-
See her now cry!)
He slaps her,
she sleeps with another guy;
an endless game,
an endless war,
back and forth (tug of war)
so true, yet so fake,
yet so brilliantly acted out
(watch the tear- oh how convincing-
watch the slap- oh that must have hurt-)
tonight I go to bed,
resting my head upon my pillow,
and look up and see the faces of my past women
and I think of where they are at right then.
All I know is they're not with me,
and that is just confusing.

.12.19.2013.


Details | Rhyme | |

PLAY-BOY 2

You know why I run game? It's 'cause I'm a player
I'm the night in shining armor, she's a dragon, I'm gon' slay her
That means when I beat it up, I'm gonna kill it
Tell her keep our business to herself, don't spill it
Can't follow directions, then it's on to the next
Hope you get the message, not talking 'bout a text

Plenty of fish in the sea, you gotta' use the right bait

Move fast, early bird gets the worm, don't be late

I'm a player, I attract all types of women

Get 'em all wet, like they're going swimmin'

Switch 'em up, more than I do my clothes

Got a different chick at all of my shows

Can't choose, there's too many to pick from

I beat that thing up like banging on a drum

Like fishes in water, I got 'em hooked

Chicks galore, schedule's filled, like a library I'm booked

We're in the bed more than hospital patients

Take my time, make sure she's satisfied, I got patience

They call me the Hulk, all I do is smash

It's a hit-and-run, not talking 'bout a car crash

Call it the thing on the side of your bed, one-night-stand

Kinda' like a hit TV show, I'm on demand


Details | Free verse | |

Tagged

Peering out around and about 
Bewildered puzzled face upon me
Noticing something was just out of place

Though it has probably been here all along
This hesitant pace I’m rambling on 

Wondering to myself aloud 
As if an answer would soon too appear
Right through the paper thin air 

Marveling at this spectacle of a thought
In which I now embrace 
Recapped those of my last stops back behind a ways

Only to discover there is no rendition in recovering ones foot trace 
Silly Silly Grace
For it is of such distaste as lead in the race 

That so patiently abates its next comeuppance 
Although it certainly wasn’t expected
An answer did appear
No not through thin air 

Twas more an epiphany of sorts that stated in recourse
Thou shall not speak to oneself so clearly 
Tis truly kinda creepy 

None the less the answer I do confess is life… 
Simply love purely living


Details | Free verse | |

John or Jane Do with a long toe

foreseeable unbalance
walk over impossible
long toes won't simplify things
tiptoeing through life

(c) Elly Wouterse


Details | Couplet | |

Words and Barks

WORDS AND BARKS

People were given a gift called speech
Most of the time they have nothing to teach

Dogs on the other hand can roll their eyes
They say more with wags and cries

Often people's unending words don't  matter
It might be better if people would bark and dogs chatter


Details | Couplet | |

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF AN ATMOSPHERE

I am a party animal, my heritage is mixed
quite content to lounge about when conditions remain fixed. 

Suppose that’s the nobility which Krypton must provide,
maintaining stiff upper lip when I’m all buzzed inside.

Then too, I’m mostly nitrogen, which is very stable, 
tamping volatility of oxygen: it’s able

to combine with hydrogen (that’s also in my make up).
Uncontrolled? Oh that would lead to an explosive break up.

Carbon Dioxide? Its percentage varies night and day:
vegetative respiration, or so the boffins say.

I wonder why I don’t glow multicoloured in a storm:
my neon, argon, radon being Vegas lighting norm.

If I had more Helium the humans would sound squeaky.
I imagine the attraction of that chap Enrique

Would suffer greatly from affliction. He’d become mundane,
and prove downright offensive if I gave him more methane.

I’ve also Nitrogen Oxide, not Nitrous NO2, 
and a soupçon of ozone which had once protected you

from harmful rays from Out There much more than now is measured.
It seems that humans cannot see what really should be treasured.

I’m moved by friction of the Earth and pressure off the bat
while Coriolis effect pushes me this way and that:

north and south of the equator, the opposite I spin.
Any other speculations, my friends, are simply wind.