(Madame is pronounced with accent on maDAME, the French way)
Near a hole in the wall, with no qualm,
Never seen, sits a frumpy Madame.
Using lotion, she works
Giving smooth strokes and jerks
With her fabulous and renowned palm.
By Andrea Dietrich
*This is the theme of a movie I saw on cable.
Its name is Irena Palm, the name a widow takes when
she goes to work at a club in order to make enough money
to allow her grandson the surgery he needs to save his
life. It's not a porno, but her "work" is a bit erotic yet discretely
portrayed. It got high marks from the critics. My writing this
was inspired by Deborah Guzzi's Limerick Contest and now
I enter it into Skat's contest!
Check it out: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0762110/
I Took my son on a trip to the zoo
There was so much for us to see and do
One roar from the lion
My son started crying
The trip was over I was scared to
FOR ZANY ZOO CONTEST
An Egyptian I never could be,
but since reading of their history,
in limerick form
I now write to inform
my friends of the Gods’ family tree.
From “Waters of Chaos” came Nun,
the only God under the sun.
The first piece of ground
rose up as a mound.
Hun stood there and coughed up a son!
Hun spat out the God of Air, Shu,
and he spat out a cute goddess too.
Tefnut was her name.
Moisture was her fame.
She and Shu beget children - two!
Their son was named Geb; the girl, Nut.
I’m not sure how to say her name, but
I sure like to say
Goddess Sky’s name the way
that rhymes with the famous King Tut.
When he laughed, the son Geb, “God of Earth,”
made the earth shake beneath his great girth.
I think Geb is busy
in modern days, for he
quakes often, for he’s fond of mirth!
For the tale to proceed, there ensued
some more incest, and not to be crude,
Nut, the Goddess of Sky,
got it on with the guy,
King of Earth, and they had a big brood.
There came forth from their coupling,
Queen Isis and a new Earth King,
Osiris, who was
a good king because
he ruled all rebirth, a great thing!
One son, against harmony, came
to kill Osiris, and his name
was Seth; once again
like the story of Cain -
an envious brother to blame.
But Seth got his just desserts when,
having married his Mom Isis, then
he was killed by HIS son,
named Horus, who won
the throne, and so “good” ruled again.
From Seshat to Sekmet to Rah,
Gods were worshipped by ancients with awe.
You’d have worshipped them too
had you been born to do
your poems on papyrus. Ha ha.
I cannot afford to miss
A school play such as this.
My son plays a big tall tree.
My daughter plays a bumble bee.
At the end a pig and a hippo kiss.
Johnnie Kenner was sitting on the pot.
He was constipated and getting very hot.
Johnnie got frustrated and began to yell and shout.
His mom gave him some laxative to force the feces out.
All heck broke loose and Johnnie overflowed the pot.
Limerick: Once the Great Grandson of Queen Victoria
Once the great grandson* of Victoria
Heir to the throne of tsarist Russia
Saved by “Doc” Rasputin
Killed by Lenin-Stalin
Lo! Heir to Queen Vic’s haemophilia!
*Tsarevich Alexei of the Romanov royal house.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
I'm afraid of my cell phone I confess
"Someone" changed the ring tone to cause me stress
While I took a nap
He switched it to rap
Now when my phone rings I'm really a mess
"Someone" being my grandson Jordan..
I finally got him to change it back...lol
For the Techno-Limerick contest
I read a rhyme and I was so vexed
I feel that Old Mother Goose was hexed,
Didn't condemn this thief
And this brought me grief,
But he got beat up by Old Man Tex.
Tom the Piper's son stole pig and ran
This little boy acts like a big man,
Moves him from premises,
Now the Piper smokes all that he can.
He sent his son Tom to go and steal
I wouldn't mind if 'twas for a meal,
But we all knew that it
Was to support his habit,
I think he should be locked up for real.
My grandson just loves to make noise
The louder the better his toys
His batteries I hide
The noise still resides
Turns out that I hid his decoys
He proposed, wanted me to be his wife
But I knew his son would cause too much strife
A grown man with no goals
His father he controls
I gently said, “No, I want a good life.”
In bed he lies, playing video games
“No work to be found,” this lazy son claims
Blames the economy
Sticks to his avatars; I use friends’ names
*Entry for the Deal Killer contest
A boy stayed with his grandma one summer.
Mosquitoes loved him; it was a bummer!
They liked to drink his blood.
It never was a dud.
They lined up to slurp him for dinner.
Co-written by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen and her 6-year-old grandson who said that the mosquitoes lined up to
Henry VIII desireth an heir.
Wife after wife, nary son hath wives bourne.
Thusly, he cut off each head.
Findeth a new wife instead.
His sole son hath been born from an affair.
To borrow there are rules to be checked
to show your father respect
You should be real polite
which would only be right
and to ask his ok is correct.
But his son ignored that tradition
Used the car on his own volition
When involved in a wreck
He replied what the heck
I’d rather have forgiveness than permission!
His son learned the hard way that day
That’s all that I need to say
He’s one of the fools
Who won’t follow the rules
In the long run it's him that will pay.
Tom Tom was the son of a piper
But here’s where the story gets riper
His dad, so they say
Could lay pipe night and day
Of his women, there wasn’t a griper
My teenage son proudly wears a Che Guevarra beret
and belts out liberation songs from Bob Marley's reggae,
as he fixes the sink
I hum along and think:
freedom, duty, twin bullets in life's most deadly roulette!