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Limerick Holiday Poems | Limerick Poems About Holiday

These Limerick Holiday poems are examples of Limerick poems about Holiday. These are the best examples of Limerick Holiday poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Valentine's Day Musings

All year long he puts my heart on a shelf
No surprise I’d rather be by myself
     If there’s no Valentine treat
     From this worthless hunk of meat
He can go on making love to himself

Remember there’s an “I” in Valentine
So if no one’s around to say, “Be mine”
     Just splurge – get a new hairdo
     Party with an all-girl crew
Check out the divorce rate and say, “I’m fine”




*For Francine's Valentine Limerick contest


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Sleigh Passengers

Christmas finds reindeer landing on rooftops

Santa’s kindly added some extra stops

     His sleigh filled with travelers

     Scared of TSA handlers

Scoff as coal through government chimneys drops



*For Francine’s Christmas contest


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A Thankful Turkey

Written by Gail DeBole

When a turkey, who yearly escapes
From his owner's Thanksgiving plate,
Was asked to reveal
Why he's never a meal
He said, "That much of a turkey I ain't!"



Note: Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of each November in the United States.  President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed this as an official holiday in 1863.


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December 21, 2012

The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend


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Momerick

There once was a lady named "Mom"
Who had a hard time keeping calm.
But she knows how to sew
And garden and mow
And she's a farmer on facebook.com

She's a grandma to Mel and Harmony
She's a young wife for "Gramps" who's 70! 
She calms the waters
Of her four lovely daughters
And best of all she puts up with me.


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Holiday Tag! Doris you're it!

Where have you been! you silly man!
don't blame it all on tryptophan! 

Maladies from Malta mutATE and Gur G....itate!
as Jimbo watched the Vikings dominate!

It's true my kind heart is totally fake!
football first sweetheart!.... hope your fever breaks!

Dear Charma, you've got snow! make an ice-pack!
it's almost halftime!...... then I'll be back!

And if you grow weary of my  attitude!
I'll level a few notches, and be a sweet dude!

The Ref blew his whistle!.... #4 is quite grand!
our sinking tag-poem is back on dry land! 

So without much ado!
no need for a chorus!

I tag you my friend, Miss Culverhouse! Please Doris!

(Phyllis tagged John, John tagged DaneAnn, DaneAnn tagged Charmaine, Charma tagged me! and I tag Doris!)


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My Old Bucket

I lost my old bucket so sadly,
And felt oh so terribly badly;
Then lo and behold
A pot full of gold!
I'd lose me another and gladly.


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Saddle Up Them Deer!

Santa Claus has been unemployed all year

On the dole watching TV drinking beer

Ms. Claus was going berserk

Its Christmas time you fat jerk

Get off your duff and saddle up them deer

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 1 in Francine Roberts "Christmas" Contest - December 2010


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Holiday With India

Was with Linda,
Went distinctly Agra;
The globes of Taj Mahal there
Much like swollen mosques here,
Like white terracotta.


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A St Paddy's Day Limerick

I once drank some beer that was green
The weirdest that I’d ever seen
They said, “It’s that way
For St. Patricks day"
I then peed with green in my stream


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Dear Mrs Clause

The reason for this post Christmas fax
Knowing Santa needs most to relax
After eating my fudge
He thought I had a grudge
To sneak him four ounces of ex lax

But was all a very sad mistake
Later to him regrets I will make
Rich food so delicious
Can be most pernicious
It was there for my relief to take.

©  25 Dec 2010  Charles Henderson


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Plastic Holiday

Christmas trees made of flimsy plastic
No thanks, Santa, I'm not that drastic
  Predecorated trees? No!
  Don't want a Christmas "to go"
This tinsel nightmare is fantastic

Salvation Army man rings his bell
Hoping apathy he will dispel
  The reason for this season
  To forget seems like treason
As we watch store owners pockets swell

The three wise men had it right you see
Worshipped a babe, not a tinsel tree
  Omit the nativity
  And create a travesty
Commercialized Christmas:  Not for me



Entry for the Commercialized Holiday Humor contest


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Japanese Camellia

There once was a man from Georgia
Who bought his love a Camellia
Red blooms for Saint Valentine
This gift no adrenline
Just glad that it's not grindelia


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A White Pumpkin Family Review

Cotton Candy is a pumpkin who
Is known as White Pepo too.
Her nice rounded shell
She keeps very well,
And one day she met Baby Boo.

Baby Boo is quite small, and at night
He might glow, an albino pure white.
He is both good looking
And good at cooking!
He and white Pepo make a rare sight.

Cotton Candy (White Pepo) and he
Got together, and baby made three.
With skin color cream,
The baby’s a dream
And he’s part of the Ghost family.

Like his Mom, maybe better, is he.
Ghost can keep for a long time and be
Just like his Dad too.
Like that small Baby Boo,
In the oven he can bake sweetly.

Another White pumpkin, meanwhile,
In Carol’s patch sat on a pile.
Smooth, round and pure white,
An adorable sight,
Is this pumpkin with decorative style.

Other pumpkins can read this and weep
For Halloween has a new peep!
For MINE, cute and small,
Has the name of Snowball
And clear up to Christmas can keep!

For Carol Brown's 
"What No Orange Pumpkin" Poetry Contest


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Hotel Hellifornia

I went on vacation to Hell,
The hotel was hot, with a smell,
And The Devil was rude,
When I toyed with my food:
He cooked all the dinners as well.

For Carolyn’s Vacation contest


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No Candy Needed

To save some money on Halloween
I use a technique and must come clean
     Wear a scary disguise
     Children emit loud cries
I laugh as they run away and scream

This is a true tale, I must confess
And it’s surely worked with much success
     Electrifying hair
     Come hither if you dare
The local kids think that I’m possessed!



*Written in honor of John Freeman and his "Boisterous Comedy" contest


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Black Friday

<                     ladies ~ gentlemen ~ start those ...... engines
                         miss  ~ Ho ~ down - prices .... would be a sin
                                        best buy - circuit city
                                   black ~ friday .... how pitty
                        5 am ~ now ~ who ~ wears ~ smiling ... grins 





                          k- mart ~ wal - mart ~ target ~ pennys
                              red tag sales of many and plenty
                                 but you must buy in bulks
                        and ~  get ~ guy ~ like ~ the ... hulk
                to ~ push ~ cart ~ while ~ you ~ chat ~ with ... jenny




                         let's ~ all ~  hop ~ on ~ over ~ to ~ I - hop
                         your one stop for christmas breakfast slop
                                sure pancakes sounds yummy
                                     but wait till hits tummy 
                                 be sitting on stool till it plops




Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Commericialized Holiday Humor Contest
Gl All And Happy Holidays
Love Kathy & Jenny


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HALLOWEEN CONQUEST


When I saw them coming I knew what to do

Straightened out the white sheets and pulled my mask down, too.

When the doorbell rang I yanked it wide
 
Three sets of eyeballs stood there white eyed~

They didn't expect my ghostly "BOO"!



"Trick or Treat" one finally professed

My staring gaze...they thought me possessed.

I grabbed a handful of candy for each

And with an alabaster hand stretched out my reach~

I thought, "Another Halloween Conquest"!


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Halloween in Heaven!

my color? .... sniffed I,
in Heavenly reply
quite white you see,
just look around me!
our intentions are pure,
our colors demure!
rare is our air,
no colors compare!
let Earth's Halloween,
glow orange red and green
our light glows from above
our pumpkins..... pristine!


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Holiday Spread

In younger days we would watch our figure
Now hear behind the back people snicker 
    Now through many years
    Christmas treats and cheers
Behinds not in line, those bellies bigger!

I’ll make Chocolate pie resolution
Along with Pecan pie restitution
    When our congress acquits
    Stupid party line splits
That’s when this old sort admits, protrusion! 

Once old fat cell was triggered  
Being in behinds he snickered 
    In belly overlap
    In lassie and old chap
Got them just the way he figured!

For and in honor of Carolyn Devonshire
And Contest
  


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A blessing for 2014

Will those who want rapture connect
To the one who could resurrect?
Be blessed with vision
Take in what's arisen
A member that’s hard and erect


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Premature Exoneration

"It's a cuckold I am!", Mick sadly said
"I'm after finding black hairs in me bed!"
  "An' there's a relief!"
  Sighed Rusty O'Keefe
"I was shure ye were aboot ta say red!"


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Revolving Resolution

Written by Gail DeBole

Zelma Zotz's new year's contribution
Is to think of a definite solution
   To avoid making a plan
   (which she really can't stand)
For yet another new year's resolution!


Gail's Note:  You can find some historical information about the history of the new year's resolution at http://www.examiner.com/article/history-of-new-year-s-resolutions.


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One Symptom Of What Is Wrong.

Who needs parades or who gets the wing?
We have no need for carols to sing.
For what matters today
is:" Get out of my way!"
as Black Friday and bargains are king.


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Holiday Shopping Course; Don't Forget the Pad!

Grab your bag, your husband and your dad,
Get ready to shop for this year’s fad,
Set your clocks; Black Friday is near,
Squint up a face that shows no fear,
Dawn brass knuckles, long nails and note pad.

Be the first at the Mall store, mate,
Pack a snack, stay all night and wait,
When the door unlocks run in, shove and scream,
A scare tactic that’s worked on me it seems.

Finger nail scratches are what I hate from those dames,
While you’re running in seeming slow mo for the newest games,
Stay on your feet men, survive and keep up the pace!
Or drop in the stampede and they’ll stomp your face!
The note pad? They need it for kicking butt and taking names!


for Carolyn's contest:


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Holiday Goodies


Holiday goodies, hung round the tree
They are the best you must agree
So did the dog then guess what
Up they all came, steaming hot
Next time just baubles and lights you'll see


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Brown Bag Flu

I made myself sick with the brown bag flu,

     From drinking too much of that “Mountain Dew”;

          So here’s what I say,

          NO drinking today;

                I pray this never happens to you!


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Ding Dong

Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong
I stood up to put my mask on
Grabbed the bowl of mixed candy
Took one more sip of Brandy
The smallest one was dressed as Tron


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A Not So Good Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a day to be grateful,
Not a day to be grumpy or hateful.
But a burnt pumpkin pie,
And a turkey that's dry,
Might make it hard to be elateful.*


11/16/12
*(I realize elateful is not a word, but I claim poetic
   license.)































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Halloween Limerick Contest

There once was a lady named Queen
That loved going out on Halloween
She’d give the kids a fright
That lasted more than a night
With ghostly looks and lips of green