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Limerick Family Poems | Limerick Poems About Family

These Limerick Family poems are examples of Limerick poems about Family. These are the best examples of Limerick Family poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Princess Needs A New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.


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Rock, Paper and Scissors

The scissors are beaten by the rock
Man made steel has been left in shock
Now the rock has been beat
By a flimsy light sheet
The winning paper is where our words talk



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A Clean Hacienda

There once was a woman named Linda

Who would keep a clean hacienda

     Till four children she bore

     And then bore she one more...

She now has a different agenda!




                            Timothy I. Brumley


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KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY

In flagranti with an unknown lover Sprang apart from underneath the cover How his wife she did shout Now his secret was out - His hidden lover was her own mother! 4th March 2015


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Barefoot on the Beach

The days of Summer are here
On this beautiful earth sphere
This season of shine
The beach we do pine
Our time to appear draws near

The day we have awaited has arrived
To the seaside we carefully drive
The kids and their daddy
Singing Showaddywaddy
The excitement in us now thrives

In adventure they play on the dunes
Through the reeds the breeze plays a tune
A symphony so grand
As I'm barefoot on the sands
On this glorious sunny afternoon

For these days of Summer cheer us all
As the sounds of happy kids en-thrall
Our day is now ended
As darkness has descended
My kids and I had a ball







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Beers and Tears

Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer

Edward J Ebbs - October 11, 2011
Limerick Contest 


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aunt in jail

My drunken old aunty’s in jail,
She murdered a man for his ale,
And although she is bad,
I suppose she is mad
She isn’t allowed out on bail.

For Judy’s Relatives contest
(Purely fictional)


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The Good the Bad and the Ugly Divorce

Let Him Go (Limerick)

Our mom told us how she chose her beau,
With an “eeny, meeny, miny, moe!”
Of course it didn’t last,
With a choice so half-assed!
But at least it taught the fool to grow!


Child Support (Haiku)

Parental disputes
Had placed us in the middle
Of their divorce wars


Divorce (Couplet)

He left her to fend for us alone, blasé with his remiss,
She chose to break this conjugal bond without marital bliss.


For (Destroyer ((Poet’s ~DIVORCE CLUB~ Contest


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The Gods' Family Tree

An Egyptian I never could be,
but since reading of their history,
in limerick form
I now write to inform
my friends of the Gods’ family tree.

From “Waters of Chaos” came Nun,
the only God under the sun.
The first piece of ground
rose up as a mound.
Hun stood there and coughed up a son!

Hun spat out the God of Air, Shu,
and he spat out a cute goddess too.
Tefnut was her name.
Moisture was her fame.
She and Shu beget children - two!

Their son was named Geb; the girl, Nut.
I’m not sure how to say her name, but
I sure like to say
Goddess Sky’s name the way
that rhymes with the famous King Tut.

When he laughed, the son Geb, “God of Earth,”
made the earth shake beneath his great girth.
I think Geb is busy
in modern days, for he
quakes often, for he’s fond of mirth!

For the tale to proceed, there ensued
some more incest, and not to be crude,
Nut, the Goddess of Sky,
got it on with the guy,
King of Earth, and they had a big brood.

There came forth from their coupling,
Queen Isis and a new Earth King,
Osiris, who was
a good king because
he ruled all rebirth, a great thing!

One son, against harmony, came
to kill Osiris, and his name
was Seth; once again
like the story of Cain -
an envious brother to blame.

But Seth got his just desserts when,
having married his Mom Isis, then
he was killed by HIS son,
named Horus, who won
the throne, and so “good” ruled again.

From Seshat to Sekmet to Rah,
Gods were worshipped by ancients with awe.
You’d have worshipped them too
had you been born to do
your poems on papyrus. Ha ha.


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Poor Man

We never thought she'd find the right man Find a more fickle bride if you can.. Poor man hasn't a chance She's in charge of romance He stepped into the fire from the pan Written in haste for the "Cousins Wedding" contest... my appologies...lol


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My Favorite Shoes Ain't Mine

My favorite shoes in the closet they sit.
I've never worn 'em not even a bit.
Cuz before I was born,
By my Dad they were worn,
I'll not wear them 'til I'm sure they'll fit.


Just for SKAT's contest


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Best School Play Ever

I cannot afford to miss
A school play such as this.
My son plays a big tall tree.
My daughter plays a bumble bee.
At the end a pig and a hippo kiss.


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A White Pumpkin Family Review

Cotton Candy is a pumpkin who
Is known as White Pepo too.
Her nice rounded shell
She keeps very well,
And one day she met Baby Boo.

Baby Boo is quite small, and at night
He might glow, an albino pure white.
He is both good looking
And good at cooking!
He and white Pepo make a rare sight.

Cotton Candy (White Pepo) and he
Got together, and baby made three.
With skin color cream,
The baby’s a dream
And he’s part of the Ghost family.

Like his Mom, maybe better, is he.
Ghost can keep for a long time and be
Just like his Dad too.
Like that small Baby Boo,
In the oven he can bake sweetly.

Another White pumpkin, meanwhile,
In Carol’s patch sat on a pile.
Smooth, round and pure white,
An adorable sight,
Is this pumpkin with decorative style.

Other pumpkins can read this and weep
For Halloween has a new peep!
For MINE, cute and small,
Has the name of Snowball
And clear up to Christmas can keep!

For Carol Brown's 
"What No Orange Pumpkin" Poetry Contest


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Joy


There once was a girl by the name Joy   
who got joy whenever she'd annoy.  
Her poor little brother 
she swapped for another.  
Now; him, too, she would love to destroy.


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New Life

Hiding in mummy's tummy, kicking happily away
 I'm kissing you warmly, clapping and singing in play
 They say in a few weeks
 I'll be able to kiss  your new cheeks
 I can't wait for the morning I'll lift you in a sway

(c) Nyonglema


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Randa's Little Bears

It's a picture of Lucas and me.

We're cuties you have to agree.

     The love that we share

     with our Mom "Randa Bear",

is in the smile on my face that you see.


Poet: Ralph Taylor  5/2/11
Contest:  Brotherly Love


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Dan's Clan

There once was a young man named Dan,
Who married a woman named Anne.
Three kids plus one more,
Males a total of four,
Now it's Dan and Anne and their clan.


8/5/2013
(written in honor of my son Daniel and family)


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Belated Regrets

Gina is a slim little gal.
She married a Wop named Sal.
Sal is a hit man for the mob.
He maims, he kills, he robs.
Gina rues the day she ever met Sal.


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On The Pot

Johnnie Kenner was sitting on the pot.
He was constipated and getting very hot.
Johnnie got frustrated and began to yell and shout.
His mom gave him some laxative to force the feces out.
All heck broke loose and Johnnie overflowed the pot.


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It's All About The Ring Tone



I'm afraid of my cell phone I confess
"Someone" changed the ring tone to cause me stress
While I took a  nap
He switched it to rap
Now when my phone rings I'm really a mess



"Someone" being my grandson Jordan..
 I finally got him to change it back...lol


For the Techno-Limerick contest


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Easter Hijinks

While I was out watching the children hunt for Easter eggs,
The neighbor’s dadgum dog kept trying to hump my leg.
A nasty stray alley cat killed the doggone Easter bunny.
For some strange reason the kids thought that was funny.
Then my good wife brought me an ice cold beer straight from the keg. 


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Human Skunk

Nathaniel Boozmann is a human skunk.
Everything he says is nothing but bunk.
He will lie to his father.
He will lie to his mother.
Remember, you cannot unstink a skunk.


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She really did get this call

I wish I could be a fly on the wall,
  
When my poor old mother gets the phone call,

        “He’s here at the bar
  
        Quick bring us your car,

Your husband just got in a brawl”


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Double Disappointment

I woke up in rapture, when she started to sing.
Naughty whispers in my ears, “Someone’s coming”
My ecstatic view;
A child is due!
Then she continues, “My mother’s visiting”


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All In The Family

<                          once Edith laid her hot iron flat
                            husband Archie called her his dingbat
                            then son-in-law ~ meathead
                            put iron on dam bed
                            boy fire did make Jefferson scat





Written By 
Katherine Stella 10/30/11
Entry For Techno - Limericks Contest 
To Be Co-Judge  G.L. All


Just Gotta Love That Archie LOL

Note Please Never Leave Your Iron On
Can Really Ruin Your Day Yikes


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A Joke on Ellie!

A Joke on Ellie!

There once was a boatman named “Ellie”
Laughter jiggled his belly like jelly.
He was a fun loving bloke.
That loved to play jokes.
Guess who played one on him; it was Kelly!

The joke that she played was great fun.
After his shave and a hair comb was done,
She carefully groomed his big feet. 
His snoring soon meant he did sleep.
Toenails UN-grimed, painted bright red…deed done!

© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
February 22, 2010

Poetic form:  Limerick x2


Written in memory of my Grandfather.  Kelly is fictitious (smiles) but the story is not.


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Fire In The Hole

<                                        once there was ten devious children
                                          oh how they did a poor little sin
                                          brother had passed some gas
                                          they lit match to his ass
                                          dam dog was even wearing a grin






Entry For
John Freeman's
Giggle Poetry Contest # 2
G.L. All


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Pink Joy in Dedication to Ezzelle

Many congrats to Royal Trevino
And to Ezzelle, her new born bambino
She'll be so bonnie in pink
One day she'll make the boys wink
I toast with a Chardonnay vino






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Slap Stick it to me

He’s sorry and wished it undone
But dad’s home—there’s no where to run  
The spanking's intense
Father never relents        
And imprints his hands on his son






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Gay Son

rip me open, inside out straddler feeling, he came out drag me along, make me bleed fake your love, I don't feed screams for help , I, the silent grout