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Life Sad Poems | Life Poems About Sad

These Life Sad poems are examples of Life poems about Sad. These are the best examples of Life Sad poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Narrative | |

The Clouds

THERE HE WAS HOLDING OUT HIS HAND.

My voice=
God, can I hold your hand and go with you?

Gods voice~
My sweet child, it is I who will walk with you now! You walked down my path with and without faith. You took my protection to ease your pain. My shielded wings comfort you during your moments of suffering while your life staggered across the earth... Your love and devotion is what made you strong. Every time your dreams were broken. You managed to build more dreams in their place. You called my name during your happiest and saddest moments. You always ran up to me when you fell behind. Your secrets became our private talks. The key to your heart was always unlocked. I was there during your trials and troubles of tribulations. We could not speak, but it was my light that would not allow you to get weak.

My voice=
Is this that dream of beauty? The one in the book my preacher spoke of. 
Yes! I remember it now it is called paradise. I felt this company once before, Lord.
Many times, I have forsaken this light, and still it never left my door.
I felt it the day I was born, and the day I became baptized in your holy name.
I felt this light before, can you explain it some more? 
Lord pleases clarify that day I fell down to my knees and accepted Jesus as my savior? 
Every day since, I felt as if you stood away and walked on by, allowing me to face my own failures’.  Was my life a waste in this impossible world?"

Gods voice~  
My child, this is the everlasting light you will feel every time your body is re-born onto a new road.  This light never left you. 
My sweet child did you not listen, Matthew *19:26* MY SON looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with ME all things are possible. My child you were not searching for the right answers.

My voice= 
My Lord everyone told me if I prayed you would come. Did I not pray right?

Gods voice~ 
My child sometimes your heart asked for more than life itself, which left questions for someone else.  
At times how could I answer when you shunned heaven away from your eyes?
The obvious question is whether this is the final immersing of your souls disguises.

My voice= 
Lord, I have other questions to ask. 
What should I expect out of my personal sins? My testimonial sits in the palm of your hand.
My mind and my heart's inner core have been wicked since my adolescence days. 
How is it that I am in your promise land?

Gods voice~  
Getting right with me has brought you here!

My voice= 
One more question My Heavenly Father.
Can I see her?  I meant, could I see them? My Daughter, Mother's and Sisters~

by;PD


Details | Rhyme | |

Forgotten Heroes of the Somme

Over the top lads, for old Blighty! Hold the colours high!
Say a little prayer for me, for this summer day we die.
My brothers from the ripened field and blackened mill, shop floor, 
Your brother in a killing field to fight a rich man’s war.

In bloodied mud and shattered wood, fight legions of the brave,
Unwitting youth, you’ll do your duty until you’re in the grave.
A sergeant greets a fresh-faced boy, “welcome to the slaughter!”
Here you die from three diseases, bullet, gas or mortar.

In arms we fight together and in leaden hails we pass,
We die amongst the filth and stench that once was verdant grass.
“In the morning we will remember them” we hear the leaders call,
Those fickle words of history, will not remember us all.


Details | Shape | |

Spring Bud

                                
                                 
                                  
                                 
                                
                                 My 
                               breath
                          shivers under  
                       a rug of loneliness,
                    a sleepy heart huddles
                   against such memories 
                 of togetherness and not of 
               goodbyes, hating to disperse 
               the fiery rhymes of your lips, 
                as well as the warmth of its 
                 sweat...tastes like red wine, 
                   then it beats...and beats
                     gently, as it envisions
                          you, in an early
                                misty
                                   s
                                  p
                                r
                               i
                              n
                            g






Details | Rhyme | |

What Only Angles Hear

Daddy never did understand.
That violence doesnt bring comfort.
A lost soul seeking acceptance from a unwelcome hand.

She was silent no one ever knew.
The secrets behind her bruised eyes.
A shocking victem none but all had a clue.

She cried to empty walls never speaking aloud from fear.
A confession of pain and shattred trust.
this is only what angles hear.

Scars selfinflicted  are better than that 
dirty feeling.
As she lays a broken shell gazing  at the celling.

She questions if others know what will they say.
Doing whatever it takes to stay numb.
Innocence lost a parent should never betray.

The guilt was placed apon the wrong head.
Void of all emotion.
No child should yern to be dead.

At times it gets to uncomfortable so in 
another direction we  steer.
For at times it's just to painful to stomach.
What only angles  hear.


Details | Verse | |

- Alcoholic - The lion roars



                                          He has no
                                          longer his own will
                                          Caught in the lion's caves
                                          dark gray clouds closes sunlight
                                          He wants but can not
                                          nothing to lose,
                                                                 is he a loser?
                                          Thoughts about life
                                                                  worthless
                                          The past, no roses without thorns
                                          A zero
                                          Tomorrow will come
                                          He sits on a bench in the park
                                                                       cold and dirty
                                           a half-full bottle of spirits
                                           This is his life
                                           a day without sunshine
                                           He hears the lions roaring
                                                         trying to block out the sound






19.05.2013
A-L  Andresen :)


Details | Free verse | |

Forty Today

Visited you today
as the sun set in the horizon…

the orange tinged carnations 
were a perfect complement 
for the skies
and for you… 
orange and blue
always remind me of you

the winds softly blew
and I just sat there
staring at the grass,
well more at your name really…

hardly believing
what I am looking at, 
that it’s been seven years

of missing you,
of just putting that reality
at the back of my mind…

But there are days,
such as today
which make me 
confront that reality—

I see your smile,
remember your laughter
celebrate your spirit
and your love

Tears, I tell you I have
the most stubborn tears
maybe because they 
make it so real for me?

I look around me
and look for that sign

Nope, not there…

I say a prayer
and speak to you
thankful for the life shared

I kiss the date that you were born

and walk away

my reflection on the car window
misty

One last look around,

and then I see it…

a cat, as we drive away…

Skies now streaked purple and pink


**My brother would have been 40 today, May 6…


Details | Free verse | |

On the outside, looking in

"When humanity becomes louder than love, stay out of its way. At times, it's better to be the lion in the distance, rather than the sheep losing their way...again."

This was the 1st time
I felt out of place.

Its impact mimicked abused parallelograms
Unto emptiness’ solution

I witness sliced wrists shedding bohemian smiles.

Testament verses
Latching onto anchors of invalid mo(u)rning

There was no sunrise to be found,
Because humanity kept making love to silhouetted blinders

I was surrounded by shovels
Ransacked
For the sake of digging louder messages’ trench

While I
Caress incipient wings
And half-full Windex bottles
Just to keep perception from clouding my lyrics

Because nobody wants to see eye to eye…

…

…cataract-laced speeches permeate tainted whispers
Of an innocent breath 
Simply
Searching
For B-rated serendipity

Oh, this was the 1st time
I felt out of place.

Turning away from windowed afflictions
Ready
To step towards gratitude’s breath

Outside,
No longer looking in

How good it feels.

Yet, I still miss my friends.

©Drake J. Eszes 


Details | Rhyme | |

A LullabyTo The Lost

Life and cigarettes burn to fast.
We waste are time.
So within the moment you bask.

A pretty face has to age.
Every story meets  it's final page.
When life breaks you over its cost.
Then you'll sing a lullaby to the lost.

The lights in the street hide all but the truth my 
dear.
You can act.
But you can never mask your  fear.

In dark rooms you sell all but your soul.
A wicked moment a stolen encounter.
All things take there toll.

That sweet face has tuirned hard your so warm 
to be cold.
A secret that the bitter have already told.

Can you wash away there stench as from 
the past you are tossed.
In dark corners blood stained angles 
sing a lullaby  to the lost.

Is this hell or a nightmare  that knows no end.
A cell to most.
To others the only refuge inwhich they 
can depend.

she falls to the floor a lost look needle  
in arm.
Most will rememeber a doomed fool.
Others her wreckless charm.

She was  a junkie  and a easy lay.
More bones are broken.
Over words others say.

She sold flesh but payed the ultimate
cost.
In a dingy corner of th world.
Were the angles sing a lullaby to the lost.


Details | Acrostic | |

Open Sores

I am a coward with open sores. 
I write and wonder who it bores. 
I hear my heart and mind argue repeatedly. 
I see others carrying out my dreams; 
that’s what’s defeated me.
 
I am a coward with open sores. 
I pretend open doors are closed, and walk the other way. 
I touch base with the fear in my heart, tearing me apart,
leaving nothing to say... 
I worry the world will leave me. 
I cry because no one believes in me. 

I am a coward with open sores. 
I understand nothing comes easy. 
I say I’m happy, but even I don’t believe me. 
I dream I am healed and brave. 
I try to overcome my weaknesses before I’m in my grave. 
I hope you hear me.
I’m on all fours. 
I am a coward with open sores. 




©  2011  ~JSLaM    

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* 1st PLACE in Contest "MARCH MADNESS" Sponsored by C. Devonshire 2011

* 1st PLACE in Contest "ONE OFF" Sponsored by Brian Strand 5/11/2011 

* 1st PLACE in Contest "BEST EVER" Sponsored by P.D. 2011
                 
   


Details | Free verse | |

Soul mates solace

When my final shadows cling on desperately
Where I fight formidable battles
to merely hold the light
I send you loving vibrations
and soul sustenance
Deep from the cathedral
of one heart to another
where today no choirs sing
nor symphonies play
Yet it is here where we meet
in spiritual solace
here to surrender 
and exchange inestimable treasures
recollecting memories 
like unopened letters
Galaxies are stretched
over chronicles of shared history
Nebula birthing stars
will be exposed
in forth-coming conversations
bringing short-lived fulfillment to you
Hungry to feast
now will be the time
to approve your blood art vision
and with my own haunting surrender
as dappled shades ink stain your chest
I will reside with you and share, mesmerised 
pens - by branding
as this will be your written reams to me
your artist's pallet or brushed canvas
no need for words
and yet creating
mysterious magical moments
Bitter-sweet the music
that dances taut guitar strings
but now blood approved
please go kick your heel up
return to your laughter
and ride on the breeze
for not all are lost
change not
for I am with you always
to love, listen and comfort as one
with you in me and I in you
as masterpiece


Details | Narrative | |

Sweetest Love Note

One night a guy & a girl were
driving home from the movies. The
boy sensed there was
something wrong because of the painful
silence they shared between them
that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over
because she wanted to talk. She told him that her
feelings had changed & that it was time to move on.
A silent tear slid down his cheek as he
slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note.
At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down
that very same street. He swerved
right into the drivers seat, killing the boy.
Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she
pulled it out & read it.
"Without your love, I would die."


Details | Rhyme | |

Suicide Mind

What makes the decision
To flick the switch
To end ones life
For the sake of it
 
Troubled, debts
Bullied at school
Fork in the road
To let death rule
 
Mums, dads
Daughters and sons
What ever affects them 
They just can't outrun
 
Sadness and tears
By all left behind
Will they ever understand
Suicide Mind


Details | Narrative | |

The Sparrow

He called it love and his captivating way,
   She called it fear and longed for the day.
All alone she cried those bitter nights,
   While he ran around to his hearts delight.
He had her heart he pulled her strings,
    All she ever wanted was the joy that only true love can bring.
He controlled her mind, her spirit, her soul,
     All alone with no hopes of ever achieving her goals.
Completely stripped of confidence and pride,
    She became a victim of his heartless and evil side.
She was hardly a child when he stole her heart,
    Lured in to his web with lies and broken promises from the start.
Now all of her dreams have faded away,
    As she musters up courage to try to make it through another day.
He has convinced her that what he says is the final word,
    No matter what she had read or heard.
You can’t make it out there, alone, is what he said!
    You won’t last a week till somebody finds you dead.
So callous and cruel he chose those frightening words to keep her here,
    But she had reached the end and leaving was the only way and she saw it clear.
She said you’re right and I should hush so let’s not fight,
     But her things were packed, she’d be leaving this night.
He got all dressed and went out to make the town,
     She called her a taxi and left that clown.
She broke the bonds that held her there,
     Now she’s on her own enjoying life and breathing in this new found air.
This little sparrow has found her wings,
     Enjoying everything this life can possibly bring.


Details | Senryu | |

solicitation

lady of the night
performs tricks in an alley....
father taught her well


Details | Free verse | |

Articulation of Tears

I sit beside you
listen while you bare your soul
this is a safe place
no judgement just ears
Heart fully engaged

No easy answers provided
That is not what you need
How did you keep this burden to yourself?
You must have been so lonely
As I look into your eyes, I feel the tears running down my face
Your breath rises and falls within me
we are forever joined
I see you

You are not alone


Details | Rhyme | |

Broken Eyes

The saddest eyes
I have ever seen
Were Green

Filled with broken promises
And broken dreams

And looking closely in them
I could see

Every horror and trauma
She had ever seen

And the tortured past
That her life had been

And I cried the tears
She could not cry

As she hid behind 
Her broken eyes.





Details | I do not know? | |

Anger

There it is again
Bubbling up from within
Wretched wrath washing over me
Vile disgusting filth freely flowing
Angry demons seizing control
Forced attrition to evil urges

Screaming 
Yelling
Rants of rage

Watched from within
Helpless
Powerless

Unable to soothe the beast
Surrender to aggression
Until the bile is expelled
Vomited forth in fury
Leaving only the bitter tastes
Of regret and sorrow 


Details | Verse | |

Behind Those Beautiful Eyes

Behind those beautiful eyes,
So much anger,so much mistrust,
Always expecting the worst,
Always conversing about the bad
things life has to offer,

Behind those beautiful eyes,
So much hurt,so much pain,
Bottled up bad experiences overflowing,
Crying to be unleashed,to be released,

Behind those beautiful eyes,
High expectation,countless plans,
Many things to still achieve,
So many things you still haven't done,

Behind those beautiful eyes,
Is a body,searching for comfort,
A mind,searching for peace,
And a heart searching for true love,

All behind those beautiful eyes.....


Details | Narrative | |

---And the Angel Looked On

"I heard an angel speak last night and he said "write" - Elizabeth Barrett Browning 

"Remember..."
that was the last word he whispered before his eyes closed forever...
"Remember..."

I close my own eyes, bite my lower lip, 'til I taste tin, stone angel crying with me...
The wind sends chills through me, as the heavens threatened to weep
brown leaves skittering between my feet, seeking for shelter.
How I related to those leaves: dry...brittle...dead.

I look at the Angel that watches over him,imploring for answers, 
begging this Guardian to take pity on me, help me remember. 
She only looks at me, with tears in her eyes, her beautiful face
always looked enigmatic to me, for she was smiling...
and yet those tears hinted at sadness, 
seemingly reprimanding me with her look.
I bow my head in shame, and reach for her hands, 
but I only feel cold, hard stone...not unlike my heart

My throat catches, I can hardly breathe--
I loosen my grip, feeling it might burn this time
...from guilt, for forgetting...

I glance at her magnificent wings, and wished I had them, too,
if only to fly away, but my feet are stuck on the ground, 
with a heart buried in regret.

I whisper one word: "Sorry":spoken so softly, I think I only said it in my heart;
I say it louder, my body wracked with sobs, my heart bleeding crimson tears of anguish. 
I look at the Angel and notice something on her sash--
One pristine white feather lay there-a stark contrast to the moss covered stone.
I take the feather, notice wordings etched on the sash--and scraped off moss, 
Tennyson's words go straight to my heart...
" 'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

The memories come back like a flash flood, assaulting me, bringing me back to that day.
He told me he had an angel carved to be with him at his grave, 
since I, his angel, couldn't always be there for him. And that he understood, 
that it was okay. I shrugged it off, told him I love him forever.
I still do, that's why it shamed me that I also love another now.

Seeing those words, I felt such a sense of peace, like he was embracing me, 
smoothing out my hair like he used to, telling me it was all right. 
I blink back tears, and say "Thank you" this time...I hug the Angel and I felt warm.
Drizzle and sunlight bounced off each other as I walked away. 
I turn my head around to his grave
--and the Angel looked on with a smile.


Constance's Angels in Cemeteries contest
 June 18, 2011


Details | Rhyme | |

Behind the mask

Behind the mask there is a frail and fragile me
Enigmas clothed in conundrums; that the naked I can’t see

'Behind the mask is concealed, my authenticity
Examine my history to unravel my perplexing mysteries

Behind the mask it is unseen paralyzing, piercing pain
With arrogance and self-assurance camouflaging the shame

Behind the mask is hidden my true Identity.
Seek and survey the signs of my obscurity

Behind the mask is veiled a heart that’s been broken
Held together by unexpressed resentment and animosity unspoken 

Behind the mask is where my insecurity hides,
Like realism wrapped in riddles, you must read between the lines

Behind the mask is where I cover my falling tears
Dig just below the surface and you’ll unearth my crippling fears

Behind the mask there are cloaked secrets unexplained and untold
Decipher the symbols to crack my encrypted codes


Behind the mask you’ll uncover my True expressions 
Remove and reveal parodies, and expose the false impressions

Behind the mask, it is hidden, my Individuality.
Not acting out some script of who I’m thought to be

Behind the mask is obscured my, vulnerability
 Suppressing the mounting manifestation of the inner me

Behind the mask it is disguised, my true reflection
Underneath open wounds inflected by rejection 

Behind the mask rest crushed and shattered dream
Where fear muzzles roaring whispers and screeching silent screams

Behind the mask is buried, my stolen youth
Deception, and cover-ups, masquerading as facts and truth

Behind the mask is where I screen the confusion
Look close and you’ll find, trickery and deception, draped in fantasy and optical 
illusions

Behind the mask it’s stifling; it is hard for me to breathe,
The walls of deceit  that i have built ,are quickly  closing in on me. 

I am trapped behind facades of smirks and phony smiles.
So may I please remove this mask just for a little while?

Chiquita Baity


Details | Narrative | |

New Road

In a new road,
Rain will fall,
Wind may blow,
Swifting our woe.

The road forever on and on,
Many paths to choose,
Many paths to take,
Home behind,
World ahead...

Through the shadows,
Through the night,
Clouds going by,
There we will lie,
Very deep,
Seeing shivered land,
Seeing the dead seas...

Through the edge,
Miles to go,
Singing by,
Darkness rising,
Vanishing light,
Hollow flourishing,
Going by,
World ahead,
Home behind...

Rain may fall,
Through the nightfall,
Through the twilight,
Through the dusk,
Through the dawn,
Beyond mountains,
Beyond stones,
Standing strong,
Wandering lost,
World ahead,
Home behing,
Paths on and on,
'Till the road comes along...


Details | Free verse | |

Time Out

Make no haste,
your work is restless.

Aeon give me pause--
no more ticking
gears grinding
ever towards the
lonely end.

Live the now.
Even Death took
a holiday,
veering briefly from an
eternity of reaping
solitude.

Take your time
on earth and
mingle--
overindulge in
reverie.
Rest assured,
oblivion can
wait.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

My Window

In the middle of my plain white wall
There is a plain white window
And next to my plain white window
Is where I sit in a plain white dress
On a plain white chair
And every morning the sun rises
And every evening the sun sets
I see them all from my window
They are very pretty
With many colors
And then one day
A man stops by my window
He calls to me as I sit
In my plain white dress
On my plain white chair
He calls to me to tell me of the world
That I may come and join him
But I have seen the troubles of the world
All beyond my window
And I say to him I'd rather stay
And sit here by my window
Where troubles cannot reach me
He smiles a sweet sad smile as he walks away
Though the next day he is back again
And he talks to me of grass
Of green lush grass that is soft enough to walk on barefoot
I tell him of the glass that is hidden among the blades
He just smiles a sweet sad smile as he walks away
And back again he comes
To tell me of the ocean and sandy beaches
With white sand so pure you can lay naked upon it
I shake my head and tell of the pirates
That come to kidnap young and pretty girls
He smiles his sweet sad smile as he walks away
The next day he walks softly to my window
And he tells me of a garden untouched by men
Where flowers are the size of children
And blooms reach to the heavens
He tells me of the grass that hides no glass
Of a sky that is of the brightest blue
And a stream that is so pure you can
Be unwary of drinking from it
He talks of fish and birds of indescribable beauty
All this he tells me is mine
I must only leave my window and I may see it
I shake my head sadly as I tell him
I am afraid the world holds too much danger
For even if there were such a place
What misfortunes may befall me
On my way to this so called garden
He smiles a very sad smile and as he walks away
He says that paradise belongs to those who
Take risks and battle hardships to reach it
These are the words I remember as I watch the sun set
And the next day when he comes
To my plain white window
He will see me missing in my plain white dress
On an empty plain white chair
For I have gone to walk on glass and battle pirates
On my way to paradises garden


Details | Rhyme | |

Remnants

Sad Heart, now thou art wither’d from the Sun,
What man, or god, will near thee run?
Wrought in twist like branches in Tempests' gasp,
What Comfort, or Gauze, shall be near to grasp?
True ones begotten are the ones now Rotten
And the ones now Rotten will never be forgotten
They are merely sad remains of assiduous Tears
That have been meddl’d with and tatter’d Raw throughout the years

And thou, cruel Mind, that sat’st still thru toiling trail of Night;
Must dream your broken Dreams; thou’rt a sanely flight!
Can thou extinguish passions of Fire, Disease, or Rain?
—tho thy distinguish’d influence trains to abstain
Thy Remnants brought to debris in thy Empty street,
Devour’d by Vultures, their bestow’d beaks entreat
Merely are they cleaning an inexhaustible Mess
Alas! Leaving thy rudiments of Identity to redress....



Details | Rhyme | |

The Best Mistake

You made the mistake and now,
your afraid to face this day. 

Your thoughts are racing through 
and through.

You wonder if your family looks at
you as a disgrace, but you'er mother
takes you and reasures, your very 
much loved in grace.

Even though your much to young
for this breathing little thing this
has become.

You couldn't just throw it out
like it was a peice of trash.

So you grow up and take the
path that led you to your best
mistake for years to come.


Details | Free verse | |

The Storm

A cold wind blows,
turning hardened walls to sand.
Breaking down the barriers
exposing the emotions that were held inside.

The pain builds,
from hurts buried deep within.
Storm clouds roll in
dark, cold, and threatening.

Thunder rumbles,
roars across the darkened land.
A voice breaking the spirit:
Stupid
Ugly
Hated
Harlot
Die...
the words echo through the ears.

Lightning flashes,
shattering the very heavens.
Words drift through the mind:
Unwanted
Nothing
No-one
Useless
Alone...
casting shadows of doubt through the soul.

The tears fall from the eyes,
from a heart broken and battered.
Rain pours down from above
overflowing, unable to be contained.

Then finally as the rage is spent,
a calm stillness overtakes the cleansed world.
In the arms of a friend
peace is found once again.

And a voice whispers to the night:
"I'm alright..."


Details | Free verse | |

Eternity in a Moment

There is a melancholy in the air
And an emptiness deep inside
A flux of emotions overwhelm me
Rushing in like a rising tide

The sun scintillates the breaking waves
Creating diamonds upon every swell
Each one is reminiscent
Of the eyes that said farewell

Bright and glorious for just a moment
Then fading as quickly as it came
A wondrous gift, although brief
Has outlived it’s moment of fame

Yet a fingertip beneath the surface
Can create a false illusion
So at the waters edge
Our love has no conclusion

I wish that I could stay forever
Just outside of reality
Avoiding the obvious truth
And all it’s brutality

But alas, I shall not grieve
For that which cannot be
Instead I am very grateful
For that moment you gave to me

The memory of your magnificence
Is etched within my mind
You may disappear from my sight
But within my heart you are confined


Details | Narrative | |

Battle Scars

Don’t judge that kid with her arms all scarred
Don’t brand that kid as bad
You never would have survived 
If you had the life she had
So say a prayer and show you care
She’s paid more than her share of dues
Don’t put her down or say bad things
Until you’ve walked that mile in her shoes
Those who suffered in war earn respect
They are greeted like super stars
She came from a war you wouldn’t understand
On her arms, the battle scars
Her own home was the battle zone
The desperation, feeling all alone
A situation she felt no escape from
Then late at night the urges come
Innocence lost like a bad dream
No self respect, no self esteem
It is an ongoing battle to feel whole
You can see the beauty within her soul
Sometimes I pray for a Judgement day
You have no heart if you look away
Flashbacks come and the anger stirs
The guilt she carries isn’t hers
There is a need for justice long past due
A need for acceptance from me and you
With anger, despair and fear demanding
The child needs some understanding
In spite of all the tears she cried
There are still battle scars deep inside


Details | Acrostic | |

Never Look Back

Captivated by the rising tide, alone she stood

On a solemn piece of rock. The darkness

Lingered over; correcting her daylight.

Death in its inevitability took the form of ocean.

Amidst the fleeting light, an absence and 

Neglect writhed behind her eyes,

Draining her malevolence, turning it to fear.

A tapestry of thought weaved onto her shoulder,

Lethargy strained through her. Never fighting the

Overpowering desire to sleep. One foot first,

Never look back, for the

End, is here.


Details | Tanka | |

Weeping

 
~~ Beyond my sorrow, there is a path that beckons; I could go that way . . . Or stay and hold hands with death, and weep upon a cold stone . . . ___________________________ August 16, 2014 Tanka Entered in the contest, Any 5 line Poem, Poet Destroyer First Place


Details | Free verse | |

My Left Breast

strange it was there just the other day 
hanging about as usual, 
reminding me in my mirrored image 
of my definite femininity 
now gone, am I less of a woman? 
will you look at me differently, 
or strangely as I do myself? 

I never really gave it much thought before 
of how things come in pairs 
how lonely one would be without the other 
how misshaped one appears, 
no longer jutting forward, 
proclaiming sensuality 
thrusting into the limelight, 

now scars and a flattened ego, 
fill my robe, bras useless without stuffing 
men, look at me in horror, 
women in shock and pity 
and with gratitude, yes that it is not them 
my left breast is missing 
no not missing, taken, stolen...

it was just a lump a few weeks ago 
a tiny pea shaped knob, 
that hid its cancerous intentions
so very well, yet lay in silence waiting 
to steal away that part of me
that defined who I was 
what purpose I served in society 

am I still a woman, a sexual being? 
I'm not sure, my right breast thinks so 
but yearns for its mate, 
the image in the mirror just doesn't seem right 
unequal in its proportions, glaringly lopsided
my left breast is gone, surgically removed  
I can still hear its scream


Details | Rhyme | |

On My Own Terms

Mama became sick when I was in sixth grade,
It was really hard to cope with sacrifices we made.
Kids were cruel and did not understand the reality,
Of a trying pathway now set out before Daddy and me.
I was picked on and laughed at, hair pulled, I was teased.
I let them laugh to my face, shoved down on broken knees.
Until the day I rose to fight, facing my bullies I fought tough.
I would never give in to bullies again, I became jagged and rough.

My spirit fought hard. Tears, love, experience, learns and yearns,
I'm living my life on my own terms!

Boys tried to take me on, take me out, and have me surrender.
I never let one kiss and tell, My purity would never dive under.
I met my prince charming for whom I had waited for a ring.
Years and years of waiting peacefully for love, joy it did bring.
While all my girlfriends partied hard, their lives fell off the spotlight.
I sat in the shadows quietly waiting, I shined when the time was right.
The first kiss was heaven, and every taste was even sweeter than before.
Two rings, three kids, a family, how could I have asked for more.

My spirit fought hard. Tears, love, experience, learns and yearns,
I'm loving my life on my own terms.

I started feeling something, deep inside my body, it grew,
I went to the doctors to confirm what I already knew.
Mama suffered so many years, I was too young but it came.
When I got the news of my sickness, nothing would be the same.
Children grown and married, husbands fingers worn to the bone.
No one should see me suffer, I put a payment on the headstone.
Softly I said my goodbyes, no one could stop me from my choice.
I wanted to say I love you, while I still had a strong, firm voice.

My spirit fought hard. Tears, love, experience, learns and yearns.
I'm leaving my life on my own terms.



08-17-2014
*fictional story, I have no feelings on the if suicide is okay speech, this story is just a character, it is what is it is.


Details | Free verse | |

The Day That Died Forever

When I am Colder,Older and then alone...
I will collect the sky on my own...
When the art has faded and the days then fade-
when everyone has gone away...

I may finally see what never was saw
.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh............... the quiet sky

The unlit room which bares my end...shows the flashes of my pains my joys and sins.
This life has been a strange one since the curtains were drawn
These paper and plastic figures have clouded the dawn

I was once younger,foolish,and obsessed with truth
Now I am bitter,sour,dour faced with my heart under shoe

The children were all searching or lost in a crowd
All weeds in a garden...growing vile and foul

Though beauty was sold it never came true
Obsessions and vanity have traveled safe through

Materials and poison and everything lost
have been burned in the fires or lost in the frost

I stand face to mirror tearing my being apart
Winding thoughts of love,pain,god,and art

As the sun sets and the darkness grows
I too shall follow this pattern in tow

Death has a friendly hand and a pretty face
She has given me comfort as I leave this place

The wars have occurred,humanity's lost
Souls have been burnt in the fire or lost in the frost

Day was Life,Night is Death

And the latter has given counsel on my final steps


Details | I do not know? | |

Sweet Nothings

I miss when I could just curl up and cry within your arms,
I have someone else who I can do that with now,
But still I miss when your arms felt right around me,
My heart still crys, at whats broken and missing,
There once was this connection, this bond between us two,
I dont know what happened to it, why this feels so different, do you?
And though I love this other, my heart still loves you too,
Dont ask me who I love more, because my answer might not be true,
I love you both, with all my heart, you've just hurt me more,
But still the dreams sometimes seep in between the cracks of our closed door,
And still I see myself, again within your arms, 
Only this time, I would be there, forever and ever more,
Love, can you tell me, what happened to us then? 
Why is it that when I touch you, you feel like less even then a friend,
My heart says yes, it wants you, but my body rejects yours like a plague,
My lips dont whisper sweet nothings with yours~ within the years hidden in the days,..


Details | I do not know? | |

Sweet Nothings

I miss when I could just curl up and cry within your arms,
I have someone else who I can do that with now,
But still I miss when your arms felt right around me,
My heart still crys, at whats broken and missing,
There once was this connection, this bond between us two,
I dont know what happened to it, why this feels so different, do you?
And though I love this other, my heart still loves you too,
Dont ask me who I love more, because my answer might not be true,
I love you both, with all my heart, you've just hurt me more,
But still the dreams sometimes seep in between the cracks of our closed door,
And still I see myself, again within your arms, 
Only this time, I would be there, forever and ever more,
Love, can you tell me, what happened to us then? 
Why is it that when I touch you, you feel like less even then a friend,
My heart says yes, it wants you, but my body rejects yours like a plague,
My lips dont whisper sweet nothings with yours~ within the years hidden in the days,..


Details | Free verse | |

the PoEt and THEE GREATEST POEM NEVER SPOKE

WAIT!

the poet laughed
there's love to document
there's passion, there's hate!

WAIT!

where's my pen, my typer? 
my life is my art

Living passed by and the world did it's thing, rotating, tilting, and changing
but the poet sat idle, conjuring thought 
he dreamt aloud, awake 
of simple times
he drank
he smoked, lied, and bargained
yet never put into motion 
what realities he should have, could have sought 
funny how it happens for the poet
poetically tragic, this nothing whatsoever 


WAIT!

cried the overweight, medicated poet
cornered by walls of his own brain
such a creative mind wasting away
a mind with fingers
no friends, and without eyes

the Poet scurried, smelling rain one day
so he looked to the window and wrote "Thee Greatest Poem Never Spoke"
trees gave leaves to fall and winter gave way to crawl 
then blew it's load
the poet spoke again,

WAIT!

these beauteous seasons are the very reason my pen leaks prolific ink of lines so great
then spring sprung 
bells rang and flings flung
but the poet failed to dare to love
women and children and angels passed his tearful face
and he gasped

WAIT!

I must write and express and show this amazing grace
 
sadly summer came and went again
upon it's glorious exodus the poet wrote and wrote
more and more of stars he never saw 
and of rain his skin failed to feel
and of things he could only imagine
tears of everything doused the poet's pale cheek and he ate the pain which enveloped him
dim lights appeared as a nightmare 
and finally one bright light of tunnel vision sizzled his name 
the name he'd long since forgotten
just like everyone else

wait...the poet whimpered
wait... 

tho' fate 
would not,
could not,
WAIT.


Details | Rhyme | |

An Open Door

   I used to have an open door,
but I can't find it anymore.
Someone closed it from inside,
where all the painful, bad things hide.
And I think I'm in here too,
a child that knows not what to do.

   Scared and lonely , so afraid,
peering through a darkened shade,
Seeing my life pass me by,
because I'm too afraid to try,
to find someone who has the key,
that unlocks the door and sets me free.

   Is it more than just a game,
to feel something besides the shame?
The child inside me wants to know,
but somehow I just can't let it go.
   I used to have an open door,
but I can't find it anymore.


Details | Rhyme | |

If Loving You Were Easy

If loving you were easy
I'd love you like I should.
I've opened up my heart to you
and tried as best I could.
I don't expect reassurance.
I know some think I'm cold.
I needed your love when I was young.
But now I'm just too old.
I've lived without your guidance.
I've lived without your hugs.
I'm sure you don't remember
a time without your drugs.
You chose the life you're living.
I wished you all the best.
Now it's time to say goodbye
and lay this thing to rest.
If loving you were easy,
I'd love you like I should.
I've opened up my heart to you
and tried as best I could.


Details | Free verse | |

Insomnia

I close my eyes
Orbits sunk deep within 
Scowering the cesspool of dream fragments. 

I lay cool against the flat sheet
Waiting patiently for deep sleep to cast all 
dream fragments from memory. 


Details | Rhyme | |

The thoughts of a bi-polar

Who am I and what am I to say?,
All I've got to do is play,
Along in a game I don't understand,
Make people come to my land,
A deal that you don't think about,
Something thats going to start out,
A trend that will last for years,
Making people come to tears,
Arguing points that don't get across,
Having to deal with a great loss,
This is my life and these are my words,
Circling around like I'm in herds,
Playing games with my head,
Maybe I would be better off dead.


Details | Free verse | |

Hands

The trees are still there every morning
Angry or sad
The sun beats down through your pores
Day after day after day.
And the moon will never stop.
And the spirit to which God has granted you
Walks with you
Penniless or pocketless.
"Something was dropped along the way,"
You feel.
"Well it's true we shed ourselves over the years,
Pieces of ourselves everywhere," 
says the sliding Voice.
Identity is really only something 
We think other people need.

So we pretend like we're separate from each other.

The word "firelight," is evocative.
The bloom of spirit and desire and
The ever-crackling of wild entanglement

Our lives like firelight
On the darkened beach
from the young and warm light
to the blazing chaos and wonder
to the toking and smoting and dimming
And the burial, and the cold.

I am as sad as the bottom of a well.
I have left something along the way.
A small appendage, maybe, I had meant to use at some point.
The Right Hand of God I was too distracted to keep hold of.

I am all other centerless beings
Dropping things here and there
A pen. A thought. A conviction.

And to keep hold,
to press on staring redemptively
At the circling Hands 
To live in this way is to gain wisdom
And with wisdom there is always
the healing of sadness. 
Senseless though, I know, like all else
And the evering was and the here we sit

Our eyes blinking tears from the bottom of a well.
Tearing from our core for
The love and need for others 
And their hands.


Details | I do not know? | |

Is this what you call fate?

I know i am fresh 
To know the twist and turns of life
But for as long as my soul is covered by flesh
I am trying hard to survive

I am trying hard to understand
to uncover the truth that blends
I pray that my love will never end
Even though bad times i have to hand

It is hard to control my destiny
It is harder to control my fate
Though at times help comes in handy
I don't know who to believe and what conclusion awaits

I've heard that love is pain
But i choose to ignore the recent claims
When love gets into fame
That tells me who to blame

Who else to blame if it isn't me
My heart is pounding recklessly
I can't bear the future i'm forced to see
I can't listen to my heart's pleas 

Tell me my fate that awaits
Show me the bait i have to take
So i could prevent the birth of hate
And the feeling of heartbreaks...


Details | Narrative | |

The Beauty in Belle

There once was a girl,
Who's name I can't tell.
To spare her the pain,
I'll just call her Belle.

Belle was a beauty
And all the beasts could see,
She was everything in a girlfriend
That they wanted theirs to be.

Belle was so trusting,
Because she was never treated wrong,
But little did she know that
Her innocence wouldn't last long.

She had two friends,
Sasha and Trevor,
And a boyfriend that she thought
She'd love forever.

Her boyfriend, Sam,
And Trevor were friends.
So this fearsome foursome
Had fun to no end.

The youngest of the four
But the smartest, she thought.
But what a friend was
Was not what she was taught.

Trevor and Belle
Would hang out all day.
She would try to be like him
In her own boyish way.

You see, the Trevor I speak of
Was King of the Beasts
And everything he wanted
Was laid at his feet.

And, although curious,
Belle stayed true to Sam
And that made Trevor feel
That he was less of a man.

One day, in a summer
5 years ago,
Belle told me something
I needed to know.

She told me what happened
The day that she ran.
The day that will forever
Be burned in the sand.

She told me what happened
When she looked over her shoulder
And saw him walking towards her
As the room grew colder.

She told me her tears
Were no match to his power.
She told me what made this beast
A coward.

She told me she screamed
And hollered and yelled
But her cries were soon muffled
By his lips, dry and pale.

She told me how she felt
The day that she was bruised.
Never in her life
Had she felt so used!

I asked her why she didn't fight
Or get tough like she does on the field.
She just said I'd never know the 
Weakness that I would feel.

I couldn't help but to cry for her
As she blamed herself.
Belle had always wanted to be
The beauty on everyone's shelf.

"But not like that," she said to me,
"Not with one of my friends."
She let a tear roll down her face
As she spoke of her life's end.

Some may ask why'd she tell me;
"What made her come to you?"
I simply look at them and say,
"You don't know Belle like I do."

I know this story in great detail
And if you look real close you'll see
The tear I shed while writing this
Because...Belle is me.


Details | Ballad | |

To My "Layla"

Where is that woman
I so loved so long ago?
And for reasons unfathomed
I love as much still

Beauty beyond compare
to me
Simple in thought
But complex in love

Years of remorse
have run their course
They have worn me down
I admit, I deserve no more
For as i guess oft happens
A fool will hurt himself

Where is she now? I wonder
Does she sleep alone like me?
Or next to someone
She wishes is elsewhere

Or, if blessed with luck-
Entwined in the arms
Of one she so loves

Oh, if it could be me
Foolish me...
Unable to endure
A love so intense
I felt I was losing
my identity
I found this powerful
love, this passion,
almost an obsession
Too scary to deal with

So I walked-
and 35 years later
so much
would love to
retrace my steps...
leading to her...

At least to know
how her life has unfolded
Not to rekindle
Love's embers
I'm not the same
as I was then

Worn down by years
Of abuse and pain
Yet every day
I think of her again

The apple of my eye
Layla incarnate

Once bodies entwined
Sweetest hours of my life

I'm a fool
So much a fool
Regret is my daily meal
Fools deserve no more 

For many years gone by,
And many years to come
I will regret...
The acts of this fool."






Details | I do not know? | |

Bath of Blood

I sit here shaking in this warm water
The pain has come, for my life to barter.
Should i do it, let everything go.
I grab that razor and never let go.

I tilt my head back and take a breath
I soon feel the pain inside my chest.
My heart is pounding faster and faster.
I think in my head now I\'m the master.

Cutting and cutting away that pain
as the blood drips down, my life slowly fades.
I drop the blade, and watch it fade, into the 
Bath of blood that i have made.

Everythings gone, my life to.
into that red liquid, that makes me and you.
i am now free of all that pain, and all the suffering that never went away.

So now i lay here in my Bath of blood, looking down in at the soapy suds. Was it 
a dream or was it a fantasy.
I look at my wrists....and they still bleed.


Details | Rhyme | |

She was Saved

You read in the papers You watch on the news Our soldiers are fighting As the killing accrues In the theatres of war We lose many lives In these wars of man Only death thrives But every so often There's a turn for the good A life is saved They couldn't do what they could The lives of a family Murdered by cowards Shot in cold blood Bullets they showered But from this tragedy A life was saved It's of a little girl And a soldier who braved A Chief Master Sergeant In the USAF Allows mans humanity To kindly show face This little girl who was saved Who was shot in the head He stayed by her side For she should have been dead To see pictures like this In the theatres of war Maybe it's understandable To see what we fight for An alleged soldier In wanton family wipe What takes a soldier To become their type My heart goes out To this little girl And all the other children Caught up in this war ridden world Written on the spur of the moment after receiving a picture from Sara Kendrick. http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-4.php


Details | I do not know? | |

Listen to Her Cry

How can you not understand?
How much I need you in my life.
If only you could be my friend
And listen to me when I cry.
A girl needs her father’s love
To be willingly; not forced.
When she trembles inside out
She really needs to hear your voice.
Not only setting certain rules.
Or telling her what not to do
But also in a quiet time.
Just telling her she’s really fine.
Don’t talk to her about mistakes.
She won’t forget them anyway.
Just tell her it’ll be okay
And listen to her when she cries.
She really needs her dad tonight
To be at home; to hold her tight.


Details | Senryu | |

Tranquil Waters

Her dark eyes reflect
Tranquil waters beyond dusk
When she does not cry.


Details | I do not know? | |

Bulimia

What started as a few times has
now turned into a habit hard to break
Everyone is now starting to see
no matter how hard I try to hide it or 
how hard I try to fake

I've tried to hide it from everyone
including my own family
I guess in fear they would think I 
was stupid or maybe even deny me

What started this issue this problem 
this disease
Knowing I will never look like the girls
on tv or the cover of magizines

Knowing when I see my reflection
I'm the furthest thing from them
From what everyone wants
what seem like "perfection"

How can I ever truly be happy with me
knowing like them I will never be
What sets us so far apart from one another
ask yourself or you will end up just like me 
all alone all by yourself

someone so miserable in this life no matter
what I try and do
Seems no matter what happens I always end
up the fool

See everytime I think I found someone that is
different I seem to find out it's not true
No man can ever only see his real love
no man can ever stay completly true

Every man has got wandering eyes
any man to tell you different is just another
man full of lies

Bulima I have learned is a mental illness a
mental disease I know sounds sick to most
Be glad this is not one of your demons to 
fight - one of your ghost


Details | Free verse | |

Struggle

Primal, basal, beyond my awareness
How could I have been so careless
I let the line between real and fantasy
Become clouded through my jealousy
The fire rose, consumed, burned away
And left the ashes in its wake
I still search for just one burning ember
To reawaken feelings of forever
But destruction is all around
I fall to my knees, hit the ground

Can you hear me scream?

Blatant, cold, and calculating
Every part of this wrapped up in hating
The one who did this thing to me
Imprisoned when I was set free
The water rises, to wash away
All the promises we once made
If still one ember ever burned
It burns no more, lesson learned
Still destruction is all around
And I can’t lift myself from off the ground

Can you see me cry?

Detached, impartial, contemplating
Why am I here, why am I waiting
Just what am I waiting for
A broken window, an open door
A key to tell me who I am
So I can learn to live again
Without the fear, without regret
To bring back balance and pay the debt
To clear debris from hallowed ground
Unchained, but broken, I am bound

Can you feel my battle?


Details | Rhyme | |

Silenced by Anger

Silenced by anger,
I can’t believe my ears,
you told me that you loved me,
but the truth remains clear.

You lied to me, you selfish jerk,
and it is I, who must pay
for all the love and laughter,
that left me in a daze.

I can’t believe that I listened
to the words that you said.
The truth wasn’t missing,
it was dancing in my head.

You used to act like you loved me,
But I guess the angers fed.
So forgive me as I leave this place,
Selfish, cold, and dead.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Broken Lover

People look her way
But they don’t understand
No one knows the pain she’s felt
The tears she’s cried
And the life that has died.

There was once a time
When the love was alive
The tears never came 
And the smile never faded

The girl up above was the one who knew to love 
The one who’s heart and smile was free 
The one who used to believe in her dreams

Now that girl is gone 
Replaced by one who slowly fades away 
Destined to walk her own death 
Fading to a broken lovers grave.

Walking as if the life was gone
Speaking to a ghost of her past
Screaming to be free 
And wanting to believe again.

Will the life longed for 
Ever be relived?
Will the love she searches for 
Ever be received ?

Or is a broken lover…
 all she has come to be?


			



Details | Name | |

Handling Reality

Reliving painful moments every single day
Envying other's fortune
Always wanting the love of another
Loving people who will never care
Inviting things into your life that you can't handle
Trying to forgive while dealing with more pain
Yearning for the perfect life that no one will ever have


Details | Verse | |

This Place

In the cold depths of my barren soul,
I lay here slowly dying,
A very sad sight for one to behold,
The doctor just sits there with cold eyes and judging stares,
Oh god I'd wish he'd just say something,
That way ill know that he's really there.
My world is much different than your world,
You just couldn't possibly understand,
With stares of disgust, pointing fingers unjust,
My lifes in the hands of this man.
All these pills I must take,
To make the voices go away,
These pills they don't work,
I think im  going insane.
Silently, numbly drifting,
Drifting away to this place,
The look of utter horror,
Was the look you had on your face ,
This place is a good place, a safe place for me,
You chose it don't you remember?
A place were you cant bear to be.


Details | I do not know? | |

STAYING STRONG

You have been lurking into my temple
Doing not so nice things but still I am
Strong trying to receive my wings
I have been raped, cut, molested, and killed
 But still I live
I have been harmed in many of ways 
Taken from my body day by day 
But still I survive
I am a victim in this society 
But still I strive
I have been desecrated and tortured for my women hood
But I am still human
One that has been born
Torn through this emotion 
But still I am a child on this earth
But I have been abused and taken from my worth
I am terrified for my territory
I am marked in this village of manipulation
My dignity taken
But still I thrive
I reach out to tell others
That you are blessed because
You could be the one waking up with nothing left
Your family, your friends, your body, your life
Could just be taking away
Or maybe you could be the one selling your body everyday just for your rights
I am stereotyped, threaten, and abused
My body has been walked over and reused
If only you new
I want knowledge but I have to ask
I want to vote but I cant
I have to live in this cage that I can’t escape
But still I stand strong 
And I wait  


Details | I do not know? | |

Not here

Trapped in this world in this body not mine
I am stranded here on this earth alone
stuck in a shell that is not my own

Small is the world that has taken me in
here in my body, under my skin
Out of this pod, is my heart's pine

Swirling thoughts capsize my brain
they thrash and smash against these walls
until the mass of this body tumbles and falls

Trapped in this world in this evil flesh
where light and darkness have no room to mesh
in this body I sin, again and again


Details | I do not know? | |

Why would a 12-year girl want to die?

Why would a 12-year girl want to die?
What would make a 12-year-old girl end her life?
Why would a 12-year-old girl want to say goodbye?
Now I lay here with an empty bottle of pills by my side.
It was just too much to hide.
My little brother found me on my bathroom floor.
He went screaming out the door.
The ambulance came and I heard voices fading away.
I can still make out what they say.
Why would a 12-year girl want to die?
What would make a 12-year-old girl end her life?
Why would a 12-year-old girl want to say goodbye?
Now I lay in a hospital bed.
He can’t hurt you anymore the nurse said.
Thank god the gun box was locked.
Now theirs a knock.
The cops came in and said my sister talked.
They said after what my father did he will never walk.
Why would a 12-year girl want to die?
What would make a 12-year-old girl end her life?
Why would a 12-year-old girl want to say goodbye?
He came in my room at night.
Something’s a child just cant fight.
Tired of living with this dirty feeling.
Tired of all together feeling.
Why Daddy Why?
Why would you make me cry, lie, and all-together die?
Why would a 12-year girl want to die?
What would make a 12-year-old girl end her life?
Why would a 12-year-old girl want to say goodbye?
Mom didn’t know.
She said it wasn’t my fault and beyond my control.
They said there were more.
They just were scared to come forward before.
Now I’m on the stand facing a child molester.
The lawyer asks my father.
Why would a 12-year girl want to die?
What would make a 12-year-old girl end her life?
Why would a 12-year-old girl want to say goodbye?
What did you do that was so bad that your daughter wanted to die?


Details | Rhyme | |

Watching Dreams Die

A wrong  path taken  a sudden curve in the road.
So you take  a fall over some false code.
Thrown in a cell.
Taking the blame for thoose secrets we never tell.

Concrete  walls cast shadows over sky. 
So many souls trapped watching dreams die.

You had a little baby now she's a cute little girl so you learn.
Years drag slowly as pinwheels turn.

No one plans on making  loved ones
cry.
In a place life does not exist.
You spend your time watching dreams die.

Was it the system or just a stupid mistake.
Long after the bars.
The guilt alone you will take.

You missed your mothers funeral but her 
 her heart died with you.
A letter informed a inmate his marriage
was threw.

You lost part of your life this you cannot 
deni.
Trapped behind bars watching dreams 
die.


Details | Free verse | |

Betting on Nothing

By committing to nothing, one retains infinite options.
I have hid inside these words for moons and seasons and New Year’s toasts.
The lone wolf roams fertile pastures unfettered.
The thrill of the hunt.
The chase.
An empty bed is the hope of a new body’s sleeping curve.
Tomorrow becomes yesterday.
“The mystery of mysteries is the gateway to marvels.”
I stopped looking long ago.

The faces have blurred into a montage of emptiness.
Come and go; came and went.
I never bothered much to be bothered.
There aren’t many memories
And I am thankful for that.
Wet fingers and licked lips’
Blood on my hands.
Wasted time.
The years run on like a favorite sitcom gone bad.
It all should have been retired years ago.

It is easier to stay afloat and roam the big waters alone
Than set up camp on an island and face a face.
No problems.
No worries.
No connection.
Freedom is all that you cannot commit to
And who surrenders to nothing is he who lives in frigid shadows of fear.
Maybe I have never truly known warmth.

I walk the streets like a war-worn shoulder.
A little cold, a little distant, a little too silent.
The words I have are recycled fragments of someone else’s life.
I don’t offer much.
Poker face.
Can you read my concrete stare?
I have an entire universe hiding in my back pocket
But I’m scared to show you.
It’s been so long since I groped or even fondled my own life.
I’m not sure what I do or don’t have to offer.
I just keep making bets and upping the ante.


Details | Rhyme | |

MY GRAND AUNT

MY GRAND  AUNT
by
JOHN M. ARRIBAS


SHE IS STILL AS ELEGANT AS I DARE REMEMBER
THOSE EARLY SPRINGS: ITS NOW LATE DECEMBER
SHE IS SITTING  WITH HER BACK PERFECTLY STRAIGHT
I’M AFRAID SHE’LL CHASTISE ME FOR BEING LATE
SHE IS WEARING A BLOUSE OF ORGANDIE  I THINK
WITH LACING AT THE EDGES A FLATTERING PINK
A FULL LENGTH SKIRT TUCKED  UNDER HER THIGHS
HER HOUSE MAID SLIPPERS WITH RIBBONS FOR TIES
HER LITTLE LOOP EAR RINGS WITH SILVERY PLUMS
HER HAIR QUITE GRAY COMBED BACK  TIED IN A BUN 

AS I APPROACH SHE TURNS THAT SAME SPARKLE IN HER EYES
THERE ISN’T A SIGN THAT ME SHE CAN STILL RECOGNIZE
I WAS TOLD  SHE SUFFERS FROM A RECOGNITION AFFLICTION
THAT HER THOUGHTS WILL WANDER A CONSTANT CONDITION
I LOOK INTO HER EYES AND TELL HER WHO I AM
SHE SMILES , SIGHS AND ASKS IF I’M THE ELEVATOR MAN
 
SHE SEEMS TO BE STRUGGLING TO RECALL THE PAST
SHE MAY CATCH IT FOR AN INSTANT THEN GONE IN A FLASH
THERE IS NO CONVERSATION ENLISTED BY HER
I TRY TO MAKE SMALL TALK SHE DOESN’T CONCUR
I BRING UP OLD MEMORIES SHE JUST STARES AWAY
I THINK I SEE  A REACTION BUT  IT JUST DOESN’T PLAY

I HOLD HER HANDS THEY’RE SO TINY AND SOFT
IT MAY HAVE AWAKENED A LONG LOST THOUGHT
BUT SHE JUST TURNS HER HEAD AND LOOKS AWAY
SHE SEEMS TO BE STRUGGLING WITH SOMETHING TO SAY
AS HARD AS I TRY TO ENGAGE HER IN CONVERSATION
NO RESPONSE, I’M HANDCUFFED IN TOTAL FRUSTRATION
		
		
THE MIND NEVER STOPS WORKING SO I’VE BEEN TOLD
SO SHE’S THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING DEAR TO HER SOUL 
SHE HAS EXILED HERSELF MAYBE A DEFENSE MECHANISM
SO AS NOT TO CONTEND WITH THE ONCOMING ATTRITION
YOU DON’T HAVE TO ACCEPT  THE DECLINING FEAR
TURN OFF YOUR SENSES AND JUST NOT BE HERE

MY GRAND AUNT (2)



SHE  SURRENDERED HER MEMORIES AND ALL FUTURE STRIFE
SAVORS THE TIMES THAT WERE THE JOYS  OF HER LIFE
SHE’S HOARDING THOSE GOOD TIMES NOT SHARING AT ALL
RELIVING THOSE MOMENTS AS BEST SHE CAN RECALL
HER RIDE NEVER STOPS IT’S A CAROUSEL OF UNENDING JOY
SHE SEALED UP THOSE REVERIES NOT EVEN TIME CAN DESTROY


WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG SHE DRESSED WITH VICTORIAN DISTINCTION
THAT SHE’D OUTSHINE HER COMPANIONS WAS AN EASY PREDICTION
A WHITE BLOUSE, TAILORED SKIRT AND SLIGHT TINT ON HER LIPS
NYLON STOCKINGS A HINT OF ROUGE A RHYTHMIC TILT OF HER HIPS
SHE AROUSED MASCULINE ATTENTION WHEREVER SHE WENT
THE ONLY MAN IN HER LIFE WAS A CASUALTY  HEAVEN SENT

BY A CONFLICT IN KOREA HER LIFE’S ALTERING EVENT
SHE CAREFULLY CONCEALED HER PAINFUL LAMENT
SHE DEVOTED HER TIME AND ENERGIES TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS
COMMUNITY INTERESTS , CHARITIES  THE LIST NEVER ENDS
THOSE INTERESTS CONSUMED HER LIFE AND SPIRITUAL GRIT
WHILE ALL THE TIME EXHIBITING HUMOR AND WIT


I’LL NOT SEE HER AGAIN THIS DAY FOR ME IS COMPLETE
THOSE DEEP SEATED EMOTIONS ARE ONCE,,NOT TO REPEAT
HER SWEET AND TRANQUIL MEIN HAS HELD ME IN SWAY
MY EYES ARE MISTING AS I DRIVE AWAY
I’M NOT SURE BUT I THINK I HEARD HER SAY
THANKS FOR VISITING ME “ROBERT “AND HAVE A NICE DAY


I’VE COME AWAY THINKING THESE FOLKS ARE CLEVERER THAN WE 
THEY’VE CUT THEMSELVES OFF FROM THE PAINS OF REALITY
THEY’VE INSULATED THEIR THOUGHTS FOR SOLO ENJOYMENT
NOT  WASTING ANY TIME WITH MUNDANE DISAPPOINTMENT
THEY RELISH THE WONDERFUL MOMENTS OF THEIR PASSING LIFE
THEY JUST FORGET AND DISMISS THE GRIEF AND THE STRIFE



Details | Blank verse | |

A Brief Childhood

In the back of my head, in the garden shed,
I see him as clearly as fresh white paint:
A little boy sat on the creosote floor, 
Dragged grazed knees hugged up to his chin, 
So familiar, so resonant and never faint. 
He shivers and weeps on the wooden ground, 
Alone, almost silent, with hardly a sound, 
In retreat from a world he cannot understand 
That Is ruled and defined by a callused hand.

It's his seventh birthday and a slowing flood 
Of mucus and blood flows from swollen lips, 
A tooth bares a nerve and a jagged chip, 
But the pain means no more than dandelion clocks 
Or cuckoo spit; the act alone the gestalt of it.

Some days he would walk for miles, 
To see beyond the next hill, around the bend, 
Kicking slowly along, his shadow twice his size, 
Dwarfing him, tracking him, a passive friend. 
Perhaps to find some haven, someone to 
Take him in, rescue his heart, and want him;
But strangers, though kindly, approached 
With the dusk and it always ended the same way:
"Where do you live?" they would say
And thoroughly drilled, he would quietly reply,
In emotion drained monotone,
His address and number of the telephone,
And they always took him back home.

Some days he would walk for miles,
To sit on the edge of the viaduct, 
Perched perilously with nothing to lose, 
Dangling feet in small scuffed shoes, 
Dropping pebbles and stones to the 
Rocks and undergrowth far, far below, 
Imagining if he may fall in their stead, 
What then would be left to know?

The fall down the stairs snapped his ankle
Like a spindly twig, fractured some ribs,
Dislocated his jaw.
The children's ward, antiseptic and bright,
Young nurses in uniform, starched and white
Were so kind to him, he almost cried, bringing concern
And orange squash and a paper straw.

Sometimes it’s like this when things go wrong, 
A scapegoat is needed to blame things on. 
People thought him shy, with head bowed low, 
Lost in comics and books, lost in himself, 
Denying the threat of another blow. 
He was not shy, just hiding and biding, 
Keeping his head down and trying not to show.

Life is a scoundrel, and time a cohort thief, 
Stealing a childhood with no reprieve, 
Leaving only the slow burning sense of relief, 
That an unpleasant childhood seemed mercifully brief.


Details | I do not know? | |

Condemnation

One will never understand
the strength of desire and passion
that the slightest touch of his hand
would force me into submission.

Walking in the darkness
hiding behind closed doors
living with the sadness
that this love could last no more.

I yearned to scream out loud
that I loved him with all my heart
but forbidden loves stay underground
I guess we knew that right from the start.

In our own world we would live
together, forever more
me, I had my life to give
but could we beat this mental war.

The day had come to say goodbye
but for me it came too soon
as deep inside I wanted to die
my heart was out of tune.

So here I sit and long for the past
waiting to feel free
but still my life is overcast
so I live within the memory.


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost all Alone

Lost all alone.
Waiting patiently for companionship.
Reruns of the old.
Savage cruelties unleashed.
Unable to share this.
An undesirable partner.
Giving with nothing recieved.
Demanding any explanation.
Stripped of all dignity.
Left naked and weak.
Deserving of much.
Accredited none.
No experience fair.
Doesn't matter to any.
Unrelenting heartbreak.
Administered by most.
Cared by none.
Forgiveness unaccepted.
Lost all alone.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Life

I wish I had a life of my own,

Maybe that wont happen until I get grown.

At my grandma's house was the place I was free,

But it look like my mamma took that freedom away from me.

Maybe my life was meant to be like this,

Balled up in my own fist.

Maybe my world is at an end,

My mamma seems like my enemy not my friend.

My whole life is torn apart,

Maybe that's the reason why I don't have a heart.

I don't have a life she took that too,

Without my life what am I suppose to do.

This is how its gonna be for the next couple of years,

The only thing that I have that belongs to me, is my lonely sad tears.


Details | Quatrain | |

My Torment

A fleeting still small voice tries to warn me
A sudden overwhelming desire to run
The tell tale taste of metallic flakes
Means my nightmare has begun

Everything around takes on a ghostly pallor
A landscape of anguish and corrosion
A moment of silence before the violence
The flash of light, the brilliant explosion

The sound of the Sun fills my ears
Fear, my throat, though none escapes me
And paralyzed I clench my eyes
As my tormentor prepares to rape me

And it's endeavor is absolute
Consumption is its ultimate goal
It exists to chase me so it can erase me
Whilst feasting on my soul

And then that familiar salty smell 
The sudden rush of warmth so stings
Engaging me relentlessly
In vile unspeakable things

Over and over and over again
My limbs stretched and wrought
As it's teeth tear my bones bare
It's mind defiles my thoughts

And still wounds beget wounds beget wounds
As in the mouth of madness I suffer
And with every injury he just seems to be
Rougher and rougher and rougher

Then just as suddenly as it began it ceases
And for a moment I am clearer
And then the true horror of it all
Is revealed in a darkly lit mirror

There in front of me stands my destroyer
Face flush with it's fill of my pain
And I find that it's eyes and mine
My God, they’re one in the same


Details | Marsiya | |

I'm my Daddy Made Over

Dedicated to my Dad Jerry W. Niday 3/20/1952 - 6/18/2013


I am who I am because of him
He’s the reason for my son’s name
He gave me my courage & my strength
To stand tall even when standing wasn’t easy
Stand for the ones who can’t
To think and fend for myself
I’m my Daddy made over

Taught me to fight back 
To never back down
How to pick myself back up
When I’ve been knocked down
Fight for what I believe
I’m my Daddy made over

He gave me my stubbornness 
Gave me my pride
Gave me my temper
Taught me not to take crap
To speak my mind no matter who
Work for what I want
I’m my Daddy made over

How to keep my emotions in check
How to handle large amounts of pain
When in trouble he always had my back
He knew how my mind worked better than anyone
I got it from him
I’m my Daddy made over

Even though he’s gone
I’ll stand and continue on 
I may stumble I may fall 
May even get hurt along the way
But I’ll pick myself back up
I’ll dust myself off and stand tall
I’m honored and proud to say
I’m my Daddy made over


Sabrina Niday Hansel



Details | Free verse | |

You Can't Hurt Me

Resounding echoes awaken the child
demons in the attic beckon unto him
stark fear grips his Vick's laden chest
shivers vibrate rusty springs of down

footsteps creak closer upon loose floorboards
while steamed filled pipes play taps
a somber teddybear snarls
causing the world to be still

foolish nuns, God doesn't want to "get me"

the sting of a ruler splinters a left hand
blood spurts upon faces of laughter
evil little boy too wicked for a mother
affliction runs in the family

Florence became flop because she always fell
polio never whipped her ass
just abused her now and then
she healed with a smile

Even humility has its price

Jimmy Dean wore sunglasses
maybe his eyes were bloodshot
or maybe he was a child of an alcoholic
and they became part of his attire

degenerate eye disease, masturbation
spattering or battering
does it really matter when you can't see
or understand the difference between ADD and ADHD

Psych 101: Crack can be Prozac

Iron gates surround a new residence
protecting the innocent who peer from outside
rehabilitation means refining bad habits
like those on the outside who have mastered them

twelve years of bars and games people play
provide an education unto itself
seclusion can be the deciding factor
between murder or suicide

self righteous judges choose life

recidivism is a revolving door
of vicious cycles with no engines
only propellers called co-dependants
or co-defendants, take your pick

life repeats itself over and over
only the circumstances change
yet the merry-go-round stops
when the flowers are arranged

Why are most tombstones gray

scared, afraid to die
are you saved?
from what, ourselves
you can't hurt me

Bob Shank-Nov. 30th, 2006


Details | Free verse | |

I fell in like with you

Inspired by one of my favorite bands, Rise Against, and the song is called,
“Ever-changing” (Acoustic). Please listen to this song if you don’t know of it. It’s raw &
powerful.

“Have you ever been a part of something? That you thought would never end. But then, of
course, it did.” –Rise Against

“I fell in ‘Like’ with you”

With her smile
I melted unto oblivion’s redemption
Candy coated perceptions, windows’ gap
Seeping brilliance refreshment

Uncertainty resolution, polished
Absorbed into closeness sun
Yet these eyes still…see
Butterflies taking notice, missing you…as you stood in front of me

Strong, yet soft legs
Foundation of my face to rest upon
Scars…fading
A cremated sin 

Yet, elongated moments of silence
Created abruption’s new face

The face of change
When she turned to me and said
“I’m not sure, anymore”

Emotional lullaby, rocking me to sleep
New battles with spectral flashback
Trying to get under my skin, a drunken tick facing demise

Phoenix’s sunrise, rejuvenating my recycled defenses
Yet, today, these rays just aren’t bright enough to burn sadness away

And with these sounds of storm clouds & Fall on horizon’s breath
These grounds are so familiar, yet bittersweet
This heart doesn’t want to be enlightened by karma today

It wants to be held for how it shines now

Denied…distance wins again today
Slavery whipped punishments in miles and blocks
This must end

Because I try to keep lines open to get a call from you
Yet all I hear are booty calls with busy signals

And yet something has kept me here too long
But can they leave me, if I’m already gone?

Something has kept me here too long
Karma’s laughter

But, through it all, I will shine

…

How I wish my mere presence can bring joy’s tear to her eye

Sadly though, now, the lines are drawn
Yet I wonder if this feeling is gone
Have the best parts of this…come and gone?

…

Maybe I’ll never know the truth

Perhaps she was misguided by jealousy’s deprivation
Deteriorating heart’s splendor

While I fell in “like” with her

Perhaps “Better Man 2.0” appeared from Cloud 9’s fallacy

While I fell in “like” with her

Perhaps
She held onto the past

As I, drawn to waterfall’s edge
Allowed myself

To let go…and F
A
L
L

© Drake J. Eszes
“We adore those who hurt us. Yet, we hurt those who adore us.” -Anonymous


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Elegy | |

I Need Your Help Daddy

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here

I can’t get back in control of my emotions 
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy

I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help 

Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance 
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help







Details | Free verse | |

Soul Stones

We swallow boulders:
(lead words, molasses covered prejudice, glass shards of promises long broken)

Mouths open wide and heads tipped back
like Hawaiian fire eaters.

Chipped teeth are bits of porcelain history,
sliding down our throats in rivers of neglect
and acid.

The stones settle,

BOOM...

      BOOM...

            BOOM...

Our stomachs are filled up, anvil weight
'till we can hardly sit, hardly stand, or walk.

We drag our feet in pain, as the quiet indicator that
we've had rocks for breakfast,
lunch, dinner,  for years,
in the hopes that someone will recognize
the broken concrete footprints behind us
and touch us gently on the forearm:

"Honey, are you alright?"

(and isn't it the first sweet trickle of kind words that crumble
the already cracking facade?)

There's no stopping the torrent then,
tsunami tears and a heaving, convulsing
to the point of cathartic vomit-

boulders of every shape and size
tumbling out of our mouths and filling the room;
broken teeth and granite eyes 
until we no longer see the floor, the walls...

And then serenity.

The hand has moved to the shoulder,
forming a universal hug.

"I'm here now... and you're ok."

We stand up, together, and leave that room,
a soundless void of yesterday,
to absorb the impermeability of stones,
carrying our gait buoyant, without gravity.

No weight at all now, and barely a second glance,

but to turn out the light - and lock the door behind us...




Details | Haiku | |

buried secrets

where the seagull dies
stringless origami cries
loneliness of soul

koi fish suffocate
colors fade in Bonsai trees
island in distress

words not understood
shadows grin tricks on rice walls
tsunamis in eyes

geisha of the world
love is lost in illusions
freedom is her dream

men with cold fingers
whither blossom of her spring
harakiri end

in the seagull's grave
origami secrets kept
chicks learn how to fly
 
www.scripca.com


Details | Narrative | |

Alone in a Hospital Room - An Alzheimer's Song

Don’t you remember, love, how we danced that first night;
beneath the sun’s rays, toes dipping in the cooling sand, 
to the tune of our favorite song –
with me humming the best I could – 
(I sounded terrible, but you told me I sounded divine, remember?)
while falling all over myself, and your delicate feet; 
and you, trying so hard not to laugh as I made such a fool of myself!
Did you ever think we would go 
from being love-sick teenagers dancing on the beach, 
to a couple of old-timers reminiscing 
about our best years – our long ago days together? 

Honey? 
Sweetheart, please…
If there is any part of that teenage girl 
left within that beautiful head of yours…please; 
please, just look in my eyes as you once did…
look at me, sweetheart…
Don’t you remember? 

My love, do you hear? 
They’re playing our favorite song…



*Inspired by Izzy Gumbo's Solfege Contest
I really hope I did this right! :)


Details | Sestina | |

She Cries Tears

Her eyes show so much emotion inside She has certainly formed a trail of tears Leaving marks where the tears rolled down her face There’s no greater pain than what’s on her face The feeling she has, grows from the inside She cries so much there are a lot of tears She knows no other way but to cry tears Sullen look forms on her, right on her face Crying also happens way deep inside From inside she cries tears onto her face
Entrant into Andrea Dietrich's "Introducing Tritina (a new poetry form for you!)" contest 2/12/2013


Details | Lyric | |

Life Not A Contest

Your contest I don't want to be in my friend
You want our lives to be a forever contest
Your best friend you always say that I am
Do you always need to be one up on me

I get something new and tomorrow you have it too
I get an illness and you have it or had it only worse
I say I love something and you always loved it first
I want to be me and you be you, as life isn't a contest 
to me.

"The Contest Contest" of Joe Flach
Written by Carol Brown  03/15/2012
Honorable Mention


Details | Light Poetry | |

A Part Of Life


                                          The ocean is dark
                               The waves are white on the peaks
                                   Where will my journey go
                                         Into the unknown
                                          Out of nowhere
                                        Only fate will know
                                The storm is tearing my clothes
                               I'm wet and cold way into my soul
                             No one can see my tears on my cheeks
                           I can only see the ocean, dark and no end






05.01.2013
A-L  Andresen :)


Details | Verse | |

HUNGER


                                                   Frost and snow

                                                   in soggy ground

                                                      Little boy

                                                    with matches

                                                     in his hand

                                                       No hat

                                                      no jacket

                                                  Bare feet which

                                                   is blue of cold

                                                     No mother

                                                      no father

                                                    He's hungry




14.01.2013
A-L  Andresen :)


Details | Free verse | |

We Are The Generation

We are The Generation,
Holding tomorrow in the palm of our hands
Ancestors deemed us responsible
Yet Today only reprimands

We are The Generation, the majority
Of futile yearnings, beguiled by what
Only brings more shame…Beguiled by what
Only brings more shame

Embellished with the nudity we call fashion
Seeking the colors of the world in manicure
Beauty is now only material…
Attire, what a fine cure!

We are The Generation, we want to explore
The tastes of the world, in nicotine, in alcohol
It’s something we call fun!
Gossip, magazines… invaluable lore

We are articulate, we just love to curse
Between every couple of words, five oaths!
Our eligible vocabulary is written in scraps
In the fine poetry, we like to call rap

Love to us is very divine
My boyfriend and I have been together
For two months…eternity! We match, we intertwine
Our engagement is next week

Religion is to us an identity, a name
I am this and I am that
But we all squander our time just the same
We are one unity, remember?

We are The Generation, we are The Glory,
You know that magazine?
We hold the future in safe hands
We are The Generation… and more is yet to come


Details | Villanelle | |

When I Ruled the World

I remember when I held the world in these hands
Nothing out of reach as I self proclaimed my power
That time long forgotten the hourglass lost it’s sand

Yes I lived in a world of deadlines and demands
  A master of time, always early at least half an hour
I remember when I held the world in these hands

Always alert sensing my victory before my stand
Any obstacle or objection I would quickly devour
That time long forgotten the hourglass lost it’s sand

Is there anything left of that person, maybe a strand
It’s not from any fear, but indifference that I cower
I remember when I held the world in these hands

For this tragic change I could have never planned
Everything that tasted so sweet is now bitter and sour
That time long forgotten the hourglass lost it’s sand

Almost six years later, I still cannot understand
In the late hours of night, I’m left to now scour
I remember when I held the world in these hands
That time long forgotten the hourglass lost it’s sand



Penned by Wayland Bunch II 12/14/2013 for With These Hands contest
I used image #6 for this poem


Details | Rhyme | |

Dream, And Dream, And Dream

I'll Dream

. And Dream

. . And Dream

I'll dream until my soul awakes, And it's time for youth to part I'll dream until my passion breaks, And this child's abandoned heart I'll dream a lost and former friend, The innocence I've held to tight Before the colors blur, and blend, I'll dream of who I was tonight Before my tears drip down, and dry, I'll dream with colors pure and gold Before the innocence inside me dies, And childhood is hardened cold I'll dream as if absorbed in youth, Illusion moonlight show'ring light Blind to pain and awful truth, I'll dream of who I was tonight.
10/6/2011 "Dreams"


Details | Verse | |

Rust Sleeps

Rust sleeps without the churchyard
on the blunt perimeter rails,
on the bloom of iron stabbing up
into the pelt of rain.

Rust sleeps upon the fence posts
where the wire is nailed to wood
and the metal burns an ochre tint
beneath the sodium arc.

Rust sleeps atop the hinges
of the pub door so to screech
a shrill alert to drunken ears
of some returning ghost.

Rust sleeps upon the riverbed,
suicide pushed into the deep,
trolleys severed by the silt,
dead baby prams beside.

Rust sleeps in feasts of coma night
and eats small mouthfuls of the moon,
spits corrosion at the stars
and dulls this razor life. 


Details | Free verse | |

Broken England

Broken England
By Steven Cooke

My Brave ancestors of England,
Look away, for I offend thee.

For your England is no more.
Decay eats away at this fallen empire.
Your people divided,
Its laws weakened by Europe’s power.
Its leadership, protecting the few.
The fresh air of your Country gone,
Only the stench of anarchy remains
Heroes of The Somme look away for I offend thee.

Stock Market Parasites, take without producing
Corporations overwhelm, the weak,
Without paying their due.
Their off shore havens digest the life blood of this once great nation,
Leaving the scraps of minimum wage for the masses to beg. 
The dead of Pashendale look away for I offend thee.

Government legislate to keep us in bondage to 66
Over the hill at 50, to wonder the dole queues
Youth denied education, 
Universities at a price,
Qualifications for the chosen few,
Unemployment, for the poor.
Our brothers of Gallipoli look away for I offend thee.

Our Cities are in pain.
Hopeless lives, with hopeless dreams,
Hopeless choices, drugs, crime,
Or silence behind closed doors.
Babies born to fail,
Children, exposed to depression and chips.
The ghosts of Arnhem look away for I offend thee.

A voice in the darkness, shouts its rage
The iron curtain of youth descends on England
This is no Lennon revolution,
This is youth with no future, abandoned by government
No rules here to obey, No Civic pride,
 No sense of History, no Country to protect
The Saviours of Goose green look away for I offend thee

But fat cats beware, for there is a dream,
That cannot be bought.
A warning from history.
A country cannot go forward,
Without learning from the past.

Your greed will self destruct
Your Paradise a lie
For a Dangerous wind now blows,
And common sense, will fail.
For England is Broken,
And life will never be the same,
In England’s green and pleasant land.
Now It is my turn to look away, 
for you see this offends me too.



Details | Narrative | |

The Empty Tissue Box

My heart was in such pain
I felt like I was going to go insane
I just don't know what to do 
And my eyes full of tears that distort my view

I fell to my knees and felt the urge
My muscle tighten and pin needles struck me like a surge
My body was warm and with feelings so confused
My mind felt sadness had fused

I could not conquer my fears
I just sat down and fell into tears
When some close to you passes on
It felt like a warmth has gone

So I raised my hand towards a box that was empty with no tissue
I first was embarrass and had a little bit of issue
All my friends hugged me and said sorry for your loss
So now I cry in my bed and toss


April 14, 2013


Details | Didactic | |

This silly thing called Love

Craze comes out of barrel of joy,
Joy, what makes you behave coy,
Coyness, a thing that would get a toy
From the soul, hands of a smart lil' boy

That his head bobs in saving his mother,
Mother, the filial original not really similar
Similar? To the father, rasp voice that quiver
From the garden of marital rupture. It'ld linger

Over the elms of gut, ebbing with the tide
Of bliss ended. Never should beings all hide
The love, warmth of family. Filial code to side
A broken china, a shattered shuttle that'ld bide

Brittle bliss. Come in the evenings and laugh
At the debris of the drum, a rumble of cough
Upon anodyne ruble of ruin. Feed from trough
O! Love if you aren't life. Then live quickly, rough.


Details | I do not know? | |

Still In Progress

How can I be selfless without being used? 
How can I be demanding without being so rude? 
How can I open up without closing back down? 
How can I speak if you don't hear a sound? 
How can I trust without being betrayed? 
Yet how could I leave... even after you stayed? 
But how can you love me when I won't let you in? 
So many questions.... where do I begin? 
-------- 
Memories now blurred, flying through my mind…… 
Now, I’m trying to repress the days of being youthful and blind. 
Every morning I pull on my armor, right from within, 
Preparing for a war, that I intend, to win. 
If my heart is my comrade and my mind is the enemy, 
Then in the midst of this battlefield, 
Life is the remedy…
 --- 
Trying to stay sane, knowing that although this is temporary, nothing is vain… 
Learning that there is always a purpose and people will try to corrupt us, and bring you great shame… 
Being told that ‘Victory isn't given to he who starts the race the strongest, but he who endures until the end.’ 
Trying to suspend you from learning to depend... on yourself, 
instead making you depend on the wealth, 
Of someone who doesn't even know who he is, 
while you’re grasping the stealth of your true identity, in your right hand, in your heart, the knowledge…
Never been withheld 
… 
.. 
. 
Feeling the world come crashing down on you, compacting into a mist of air so cool, 
The breeze passing right through, right into the depths of your pores, to ensue, 
The burning and broken and fragile pieces of the inhabitants of the earth from your birth til' now.. 
Physically becoming everything that you breathe, touch, conceive, munch, perceive, every aroma... 
And every great or insignificant trauma, reflecting off your skin oh so temporarily, the mark so paper thin… 
Physically, THAT is what you are… 
Because we only see the physical, right? 
Yet, behind every movie is there not a director… a cast? 
And behind every painting is there not an artist, combining colors and lines so vast? 
And behind every child is there not a journey, a past? 
...
That you did not walk, yet you know that it’s there, not by sight, scent, taste, touch, or hearing... But something inside you, that says it makes sense, KNOWS that all of that is there, 
KNOWING
...
..
.


Details | Free verse | |

Bill


R.I.P. William Dale Eubanks
d. July 1, 2012, aged 68 yrs., Tennessee Ridge, Tennessee

Death came as no surprise
the first Sunday in July;
it claimed you, on a ridge in Tennessee,
with kin who took you in and waited with you
through the last hard days.
You kept what fears you had well hid,
did not betray with loud complaint
the fate you could not but know awaited.
A smile, a joke, a hug – exotic meals –
And genuine interest greeted all you met.
And you were, certainly, never boring
but well-traveled and smart
beyond the telling.
We’ll miss your wit, your bright demeanor,
and will remember all you freely gave ---
and what you took from us
with your passing.


Details | Lyric | |

Fools and Mules

A fool was crowned
And now we`re bound
To serve and please
On hands and knees,
To hate and smile
Each day and mile,
We feel defeat
And kiss his feet.

The foolish kings
Cut off our wings.
Their poisoned knife-
Our foolish life.
And faith`s refuse
Won`t save our muse,
When banned to fly,
She`ll fall and die.

Still time will flow-
Kings come and go.
But teams of mules,
That choose the fools
To be ahead
Alive and dead,
Won`t change a bit
The fate they meet.

They`ll choke on pride,
They`ll run and hide
And in their shells
Pity themselves,
That life was cruel
To have set the rule-
“Do as you`re told,
Silence is gold.”

We pay the price
To hide our vice:
The coward `s role-
To lie and crawl.
And hope someday
Things`ll come our way,
We`ll find the might
To rise and fight.


Details | Senryu | |

Violinist Composition

I hear the straw hum
stretched chords groan and snag my heart
leaving me composed.


Details | Free verse | |

The Old Man In The Mirror

The Old Man In The Mirror

Who is that old man who looks at me in the morning?
When I shave and shower he is there living in a pane of glass
Grey hairs replacing the dark walnut brown
More and more each day, each hour
Eyes looking tired from ages of struggles
Each reflecting a soul which was once so full of life
Now it lays stagnant and lost
It has the memories of its youth
Doing this that that man can only now remember
Wrinkles took so long to show
Even fooling that old man into thinking he was younger than he is
Every grey hair, every wrinkle has been earned
They are the wages of stress, pain and anxiety of aging
Some called them badges of honor
I look in the mirror and see that old man looking back at me
I don’t see honor, pain, stress or anxiety
That old man looking back at me has lived a full life
Successes and mistakes of the past are reflected in the mirror
Lost loves and loves found are hidden in his spirit
I look at the old man in the mirror 
I look at the grey hair and the sad eyes
I see each and every wrinkle
I look at the old man in the mirror and I see life


Details | Free verse | |

Deaf and Gone

I am whatever you say I am...
but, let's get back to reality...

       Three short years ago, this room shined welcome mats across a screen of doldrums.
A place of unfamiliarity that screamed, 
"You don't belong!"
Yet, a voice of reason spoke and said,
"Expand yir' roots. Venture beyond the comfort zone. Academia resides inside that room, but know you won't be alone."
Repeatedly,brainwaves declined what my wife and editor had told me.
I'd say,
"no way, I'm givin' up my soul for free, they read, they pay, like it's always been, the way it's going to always be!"
Unbeknownst to me one day, and with a slight of hand, my "Open Sores" were put on display and surprisingly more than a handful of great ladies and nice guys began to give feedback on what I had devised. 
This interaction was something very new, helpful, and impressive. For a change, it was something real.
For years, those around me were quick to give praise with hidden reasons. Constructive criticism is amazing, and I welcomed being corrected or set straight.
Now there are those who choose to shut me down without explanation, and call me names.
DO NOT mistake me for sophomoric! These words bleeding from my guts have no style and need no approval. There is no thinking involved here, no plan. If you don't like it, fine...don't censor or bracket me in. So what if I am illiterate?  If you don't like "street poetry" or the pathetic stuff I write, don't read it. If I offend you, tell me.
We should welcome those who are different than us. 
Words of truth inspire movement, like fire.
I came to this room to expand my horizons, step outside the box, learn, help, grow. 
There will be no apologies dealt for being different, or for being labelled as something uncomfortable to you. 
This has been an ok room so far, but there is some clique trickanery going on.
If the dictionary must come into play, let me recommend looking up the term "Poetic License."
True, I may not be the writer you prefer, or aspire to be....but tread carefully my friend, for you have no idea of my profession. I've made a fine living, for a good long time, spewing words onto paper. I came from nothing, and may still be nothing to you...still, I do what I love, have no boss.
I am not an aspiring writer who dreams of a life, I live my dream. In conclusion, I must wish you luck in finding what you peddle poetry for. Until then, keep 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Secret Cries

My secret cries are my pains I hide, hidden from the world to see. Hidden so intense my soul became debility of weakness. My heart hinders to collapse and deflates. Completely of decay, secretly lessen for the amounts of importance. Shedding everyday by natural process, my cries are easier to hide. Hidden behind my diluted mask of faulty smiles, I portray when you are around. As I wear with grace, deceiving you with an illusion of happiness. I die a little more inside. A cast away of pain, a cavity is what I became. Over dosing the quantity heartbreak, so overwhelmed my heartaches. Now begin causing the feeling of great sorrow, never wanting to see tomorrows. My secret cries of agony, a thought to die is where my truth lies. Memories are influencing misery, emotionally and physically. What hides behind my smile is vulnerability. My cries vocalize, overflowing with tears burns my insides. My heart is a furnace that burns for cremating my flesh of lies. Keeps me feeling, as thou I am no longer alive. Always walking through the crowd with my head up high, fore these feelings no one will ever find. My secret cries therefore shall die when I die. Then there will be no longer any secret cries to hide. Nevertheless, until the day I leave this earth, my cries shall stay buried alive.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Soul Awakened

She is the muse to her own sorrow; She is the digger of her grave. She is the painter of her ocean view and every fatal wave. She is the shadow of her Father; She is the darkness in your sight. She is the night without the stars surrounding pale moonlight. She is the music with no words; She is sweet love without the reason. She is your dreamer with submission cold by warmth with every season. She is your pet with cold intentions; She is your baby scared and shaken. She is the bold and pure- the lost and found, She is a soul awakened.


Details | Rhyme | |

Aspiration

Tell me of hope for the world is sad enough
Without my complaint to make it more tough;
Find new faces to give the heart cheer
And hold close all those who are most dear;
For earth knows the perpetual drain
Of persistant sorrow and unceasing pain.

Tell me of faith, for the world's better without 
Your dreams of folly and melancholy doubt;
If you trust in God and not in yourself
And will be able to put your doubts on a shelf
To give peace of mind so faith can come
Then no one will mind if your mouth is dumb.

Let's speak of health, this sad endless tale
Of human troubles that are boring and stale.
You cannot win or profit or please
By harping on the dischord of stubborn disease;
Say you feel fine, the world is good to you
And before you know, it will all come true.


Details | Limerick | |

Borderline Poster Child

Who am I, oh, who am I? Just a poser child Borderline? A series of bold contradictions Led on by doctors false predictions Diagnosing all the time... Angry outbursts fill the air, Throwing objects everywhere, They drug me up, because they're lazy It's too much work to help the crazy I hate the pills, but they don't care Take the drugs, and you'll feel better, We'll smoke some bud, and chill together But even if I smoked the weed Surely that's not all I need The lovely high won't last forever I get attatached to everyone, But when they get too close, I run So many arrows in my heart Cupid shoots, but then I part Not phased by all the wrong I've done So put me on more medication, I'll throw in some dedication, But even then it's not enough This emptiness is still too tough All that's left is contemplation


Details | Free verse | |

Rebirth

Ignite,
The missing light,
Forget,
What's behind.
Just believe,
That love comes again...

'Cause,
The skies,
Are like a hard glide,
In a shining rainbow's light...

All dreams and fantasies,
Can be reality,
'Cause fantasy,
Is based on reality...
But all histories aren't the same...

'Cause,
Sometimes, we dive,
In our lives...

So,
Don't judge,
For what you see,
Judge,
For what it is...,
'Cause time passes,
But, memories remain...

And,
Listen,
To your heart,
'Cause,
The body, does,
The mind, thinks,
And, the heart, feels...,
While, the soul, lives...

So,
Always remember,
To remember the past,
To live the present,
And to wait and pursue the future...

Listen to your heart,
Before you are telling goodbye,
'Cause destiny,
Might lead to demise...,
But, remember that destiny can be changed...

Life is unpredictable,
But space and time,
Could be controlled...
And even if some die,
We may survive...

Remember,
That life,
Might have an endless beginning...

All that remains,
Is to be reborn...


Details | Free verse | |

On The Bank Of Eden

On the bank of my heart's Eden,
Reunited, but parted, were life and I,
By an unseen veil.

And now I stand,
Watching,
The unearthly land,
Whose beautiful weather,
I cannot feel but sense,
Is something more than spring,
And held away by an arcane fence,
There stand the angelic flowers blossoming,
Whose sweet scents,
And colours really soothing,
I know are there,
There presence I can swear,
But I am barred to perceive,
More than as if in a monochromatic dream.

I see the colours,
And the lights,
But not enough bold are my sights,
To carry them across the door to my soul,
As they do not know,
Where the door is hidden,
Maybe in the very Eden.

Maybe below the long, green grass,
Made of emeralds' slivers,
Fore whose assuaging greenness my eyes crave.
Or maybe under those godly rivers,
Flowing into the oceans of light,
Maybe in the core of air, in flight,
The heavenly air, 
To breath in which, I long,
And to fill it with a freedom song,
To light candles of peace in its each layer.

The saintly air,
In which I dream to disperse,
Like prophetic words,
That can echo the divine call,
To open the doors to my soul.
I look at my Eden through the invisible wall,
Knowing, somehow, that one day,
The wall will be melted away,
By my tears,
Swept away,
By the breeze of my prayers.

I stand praying to be reunited,
With my breaths, my soul, my flight,
Gazing at the wonderful but distant sight,
With my heart heavy,
Corners of my eyes wet,
I pray that I may get,
And reach soon, what is mine,
Feeling to have heard,
A whisper from the divine,
That to reach it, I have been destined.


Details | Dizain | |

A Woman's Only Friend


Middle-aged woman puffs a cigarette right outside the grocery store entrance. Her dark eyes fall from mine while beads of sweat trench above furrowed brow. “Spare a few cents?” she asks under her breath. My muscles tense. Annoyed, I shake my head; no words are spoken. I toss a coin in her pail. Still smoking, She gestures with a nod. The hazy air hangs, weighted with her stench. As stone eyes glare, my son begins to cough nearly choking. Hard days have come to my family; life has knocked us down. Humiliated, I beg to survive, you see; even through strife, we had love but no home. So forgive my intrusion today as you hurry by. It’s a nasty habit. You don’t approve. My kids are gone; last week, the state removed them. Now, this smoke seems like my only friend. God took my spouse last year. I can’t pretend life’s good. Forgive me. I, too, disapprove. By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, July 27, 2012 for You Don't Understand Contest (Cyndi MacMillan)


Details | Rhyme | |

Love finds a way

Life changes like the seasons
Laughter bubbles, tears flow.
There's a quiet look as the mind reasons
to let the sorrow go.

Colors change as hearts do,
Flavors seem so rich.
As a new beginning follows through,
The paths to truth have switched.

Thunder rumbled as lightning struck,
Water flooded the ground.
A different storm, life crumbled.
I watched as it tumbled down.

But now to rebuild with new parts,
Tears provide the mortar.
One fourth respect, One half love
With laughter as the other quarter.

I'll cry tears for all the pain,
But it lessens everyday,
And life has taught to put trust in fate,
And love will find a way.


Details | Lyric | |

Every Twist and Turn

Winter days are cold and gray while summer’s warm and bright. 
Snow covered mountain tops melt away when the time is right.  
Pouring rains and hurricanes will stir up now and then.  
Storms appear from year to year no less than dear old friends.  

                                       Refrain:
All the good and bad and sweet and sad pass by us every one; 
all the lows and highs and tear filled eyes and races still not run.  
All the  gentleness and sweet success and love along the way, 
everything we’ve learned every twist and turn 
every moment of each day. 


Guitar songs and things we long for growing up too fast; 
rocket dreams and what it means to let go of the past.  
Picking, choosing, winning, losing, walking in the rain; 
home run balls and strike-out calls are how we play the game.

                                      Refrain:
All the good and bad and sweet and sad pass by us every one; 
all the lows and highs and tear filled eyes and races still not run.  
All the  gentleness and sweet success and love along the way, 
everything we’ve learned every twist and turn 
every moment of each day. 


Early morning rise and shine the sky is painted bright; 
so many hues for me and you to make us feel all right. 
‘Till the end of day as sunshine fades and darkness closes in; 
we say our prayers to God somewhere wondering 
where does this life end.    


                                      Refrain:
All the good and bad and sweet and sad pass by us every one; 
all the lows and highs and tear filled eyes and races still not run. 
All the  gentleness and sweet success and love along the way, 
everything we’ve learned every twist and turn 
every moment of each day. 

All the   gentleness and sweet success and love along the way, 
everything we’ve learned every twist and turn 
every moment of each day. 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Mask We Choose


Page unwritten  hand never to be 
played.
Outcasts sitting at center stage.
When you never showed love.
It's no need to question why no one ever stayed.

And you never wondred and new better
to ask.
Cause people grew tired of the game.
And you of the mask.

Deep emotin with which like
overgrown children we play.
Gone in a second.
Was it love or just another day.

Torn sails endless flow.
Blocks and miles.citys and backroads.
Like any flock we scatter.
Only to lose track the futher we go.

Dellusion speaks well amongnst friends.
You see it's the last farewell.
But with truth in are thoughts 
everyone pretends.

Are you okay everyone does ask.
You give a expected reply.
And slip into oblivian slowley
fading behind your mask.


Details | Alliteration | |

Untitled

Dark dull dawn
Sunset sad silhouette
After you’re gone

Pricking pain persists
Grief getting gross
You, still in dreams exist

Lonely long life
Sinking Spirit Subsists
Where, respite lies


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Turbulence

The voices grow louder, Intensifying with emotion, anger lining every aggressive word. My insides squeeze tighter as the vitriol poisons my mind, How does such hostility exist? As the sound of hatred deepens, The feelings strengthen their grip, like a vice, So tight, I can no longer breathe All the negative emotions I have ever felt, fill me, Threatening to overflow. So long have they been banished… Enough. No more! My mouth opens, An earsplitting scream of pain and suffering shatters the silence, Sobs of sorrow and grief wrack my body, Murderous shrieks of anger and hate, Wretched cries of self-pity and self-loathing, Poison the air. Now, free of these emotions. But the monster still exists Within the dark depths of my mind.


Details | Rubaiyat | |

No One

Silent screams no one hears
Tired eyes filled with tears
Gut wrenching heartache no one feels
Emotions dark enough to kill
Mental exhaustion no one sees
Strong enough it hurts to breathe
An answer seekin no one speaks
A language spoken without speech


Details | Haiku | |

Silence

Silence can deceive                                        
One's quiet to understand
Another to destroy


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Stranger,

I tried my best
To show you part of me.
The side of me
You've never seen.

I'm more than a daughter;
I'm an artist, a writer,
A sister, a friend
And now to you a stranger.

I have a question,
Have you ever realized
That I have my own voice
And I have my own life?

I'm not relinquishing my soul--
I won't sell it to anyone.
If I can't be myself
Then who will I become?

I have a mind of my own,
A heart and gifts.
I have a life of my own
And it's mine to live.

Yes, you gave me life,
But it's not yours to give.
You gave me this life
So I can learn to live.

Tell me, have we met?
Have you ever seen me?
Or did you just see my music,
My tee shirts and jeans?

It's not what I look like,
It's how I look at myself.
I'm embarrassed to show you it.
Only you and no one else.

Don't be disappointed,
Mad or upset.
Be happy I have morals,
A mind and self-respect.

I'm the person I want to be.
I stay true to myself,
Meaning I'm me.
I'm me for no one else.

I'm smart and independent
Because you made me this way.
I'm no longer fearful and afraid,
That's not how I wanted to stay.

Now do you know me?
Or should I continue?
I'm making you realize,
I'm not being rude.

So make your decision.
Please, I just want an answer.
Not to be disrespectful,
But are you my mom or my mother?


Details | Blank verse | |

ENNUI

Disenchanted with ennui,
I want to my earth
To meet the sky,
To catch a falling star
Outside a ‘Monday thru Friday’
‘Nine to Five’ job,
But traffic on the eight eighty
Enshackles me in the tapestries of my mind.

Amnesia walks me through corridors of lice
Armed with coffee cups, the stock market on the radio,
I have lost all with my nasdaq fall
Into bars and brothels of dubious repute,
All is carnal after all.

Entrapment with Chopin on the alarm clock,
Donuts oozing with cream, wiped away with a napkin,
How do I get away from Tchaikovsky at night?
As the older whores at last snore,
I light a cigarette and lean out my window
To wail a poem, catch a falling star. 


Details | Imagism | |

Guilty Reflection

Looking dead at me in this smeared mirror...
a lost man
tormented
face red
brittle
and teared

stacking excuses 
the longer I stare
this stress abuses 
my conscience with a glare

a guilty reflection warns
my mind is the prison I fear
as I long to escape 
from the  hell I dwell in
right here

who have I become? 
what have I done right?
crossroads appear suddenly 
as fog fills the mirror tonight

darkness owning the room,
prefers I suffer slow
so I proceed with speed 
because it’s the only way I know

tasteless stories
flood my life’s hard bound chapters 
while this smeared mirror reflects tears
dripping from a face 
which was once filled with laughter. 


Details | Free verse | |

Patriotism

Have you ever thought about the Death of Christ?
Why did they crucify him?
If you read the story then you know
But what I ask is why didn't God stop them?
It's natural to protect our own
How could he let him be sacrificed?
For the good of all man I've been told
God sacrificed his only son for us
But what does he ask in return? What does he want?
Are we supposed to try and emulate him?
I wish to know
I don't understand his decision
To not help his only son, I couldn't do that
But I do know that is why we are not gods
Do people who give their lives for others emulate God?
When a solider dies for our country is he dying for us?
Or freedom? or both?
Are the parents godlike in their sacrifice of their children?
Like Christ when he sacrificed his only son
Or is it more than that?
Is patriotism just a mindset to get people to fight?
When one country is mad at another
It's the leaders who argue not the countries
Why can't the leaders fight and leave us alone?
Do leaders send their own children to fight and die?
Why should I send my children to fight and die for you?
Are you a God? Do you have my interests at heart? Or yours?
You say it is in the name of freedom, but whose freedom?
We have never been free
You send me to fight, kill, and die
And yet you say I am free, free to do what?
Free to murder those you want dead?
Free to send my children to their death for you?
Who are you again? Are you a God?
I fight for God not you
My children are not targets or murderers
And now you demand my children to be your shield
Who are you again? Never mind
I know who you are it's very plain to see
You are not a god you are a coward
You are evil and you are trying to destroy us
You are lying to all of us just as you always have
You speak of freedom
As you try to blind us with patriotism
And silence us with duty and honor, Meaningless!
From one who knows nothing of their meaning
I wonder what God would say to you
Knowing who and what you are
Would he forgive you?
Would he understand your deception? Would he?
I could not forgive you, this is why I am not a god
I can't forgive, I am vengeful, I would punish you
Without mercy
For allowing this deception of youth to continue
Maybe you believe your right but I can't believe that
You know what your doing is wrong yet you continue
One day you will pay, as we all will 
We are all guilty to some degree
But most of all we are guilty of sacrificing our children to you 
Who are you again? never mind
I just remembered, your the devil





Details | Rhyme | |

The Tranquillizers




                             THE HOSPITAL FAIRYLAND

They walked together, hand in hand,
Into life’s magical fairyland.
Where there was no trouble, where there was no pain.
Where life could really, begin all over again.
Where were no men in little white coats.
Forcing you all, to stuff drugs down your throats.
Forcing you to do, what you didn’t want to.
Telling you it was all for the best, for you,
People shouting, people crying.
Most of the people talking about dying.
What is this hell, we’ve all come to?
It’s called coming off drugs, we all have It to go through.
Where will it end, what will we do?
None of us really, has a clue.
We are given more pills, we are told, we have to take.
To the men in white coats, life’s a piece of cake.
We are the prisoners, they guard the doors.
Some try to creep out, on all fours.
Into hell and back, we go for a ride.
Eventually if we’re lucky, we come out the other side.
Where we can walk, hand in hand.
Into life’s magical Fairyland.
Where there is trouble, where there is pain.
But at least we can start, living again.





Details | Verse | |

Love Letters

Like daisies in spring
Love letters do bring
To surface, mixed emotions
Heralds devotion…
Come winter, love fades
A satin bow marks day

Shadows appear long
Mocking hearts forlorn
Yet, it is only for a time…
Soon the sun will shine
Broken hearts will heal
The circle of life reveals

By:  Annalise
For:  Nette's "Aloutte..The Cleansing Rite" Contest


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Stronger Than She Thinks.....

She is a loving mother, 
 her pain is like no other.
Kids taken all at once away.
 A price too steep to have to pay.

Holds her head up high, 
 when all she wants to do is die.
She thinks her pain is masked, 
 but as you see, its no easy task.

She's strong and still fights, 
 even when they say she has no rights.
She dreams of seeing her kids, 
 trying hard to keep the pain hid.

She goes to court and really fights, 
 only to come home alone and cry at night.
Still, she continues this uphill battle.
 Her confidence, they constantly rattle.

Goes to work and tries to smile, 
 as her heart is breaking all the while.
Wish I was a much better sister, 
 who called and let her know I missed her.

I had my own tumultuous issues, 
 it was she who really needed the tissues.
I just had a crappy, low life man.
 By her side her family should stand.

Instead they all give her grief.
 Do they not see her pain will never be brief?
No, they all say they are sorry, but they're full of lies.
 Didn't they know it was her LIFE in demise?

A better sister, I'll try to be.
 Her back she never turned to me.
I hope she knows she's loved and cared for.
 Her smile I'd like to see more.

I know that's no easy task.
 But that I will still ask.
As they push her to the brink,
 She's stronger than she ever thinks.




A combined effort for Kristy.....


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Saint Blackheart

Saint Blackheart walks the Autumn streets and smiles with diamond eyes;
   She's well-aware of what you think, but listens to your lies.
Confess your deepest fantasies or never look her way --
   She's free with random kindness, though she won't have much to say.

Saint Blackheart seeks the shadows for the secrets they impart.
   Her life's a patchwork puzzle made with jagged shards of art --
Impressionistic paintings on a canvas dipped in red;
   She dances like a demon for the angels in her head.

Saint Blackheart loves the twilight and the elemental rain;
   She'll stand and watch you suffer, yet she senses all your pain.
A soft, Franciscan echo making up a primal scream
   Can hurtle from her crimson lips and dart from dream to dream.

Saint Blackheart lives in solitude among the ancient trees --
   You'll find her there within the mist, but never on her knees.
Her hands will offer nothing which is not her own to give;
   And though you wish to die in peace, she may just let you live.

Saint Blackheart will not weep with you or wipe away your tears,
   Yet she may catch their crystal hue and treasure it for years.
She'll lay a little flower on a long-forgotten grave --
   A tribute to the tortured soul she never tried to save.


Details | I do not know? | |

Love hurts, my love

Love is something that I struggle with,
Trying to be loved by that right one,
But can't proceed because I'm ashamed,
Ashamed that I might not love right,
Ashamed that people may look and talk,
Ashamed of how my family would react,
Ashamed by the temptation of my life,
The temptation of my heart,
My mind is saying it's not right,
But my heart is saying yes,
Just be you.
I've tried pleasing people and giving people the world,
And I've been half pleasing back,
I know not to look for anything,
But I can't help it, when I haven't received much.
Love for me is a real struggle,
I'm being loved by someone,
Someone special to my heart,
Someone that shows me the world,
Who gives me encouraging words,
But I can't love back,
For some reason.
From now on I'm a try,
Try to love to the fullest,
I really want to love,
And be loved,
I want to feel love from my family,
Loved by the most beautiful, caring, funniest, serious at time, smart,and well talented person,
Love, love, love,
What a mystery WORD!!


Details | Acrostic | |

Waiting

Mountains crumble no more to be 
Oceans of woe since you left me 
Thunder rolls and my heart it breaks 
Humbly life ends, my soul it quakes 
Everlasting grief with no mend  
Reminds me daily, it will not bend

Inconceivable, this pain I bear

My love's not gone, together we'll share 
In lasting glory at Jesus' feet 
Serenity and grace, oh how sweet 
Salvation unites on heaven's shore

Yesterday's gone, tomorrow brings more 
Only a moment in time we wait 
Until we meet at heaven's gate


Details | Rhyme | |

The Shelf of Sadness

I was going to write a sad poem
But my nephew shot himself
So I'll guess I'll wait 'til later
And I put it on the shelf

I finally took it down today
But before I started to write
I got a call from a friend of mine
His daughter died last night

So on the shelf it went once more
To wait 'til grief has passed
Again I took the paper down
To write my sorrow at last

But as my muse began to cry
A knock came at my door
A neighbor came to me in tears
Her husband killed in the war

I never wrote that sad poem
It sits upon the shelf
Sadness needs no poet at all
It somehow writes itself


Details | Free verse | |

The Stars Are Mine Tonight

I guide my body,
but my soul I do not.
My mind.
My feelings.
They've slowly broken apart.

The darkness screams at me,
trying to reel me in.
"they're gone," they say.
"you're nothing but pitty and sin."

Though most think it's hard to step foot in this place,
it takes true strength to find another way.

As the black swallows me whole,
I see a million bright lights.
I lay there in my sorrow,
and know the stars are mine tonight.

Somehow they -- uniquely twinkling --
take my feelings on adventures to slow my breathing.

They strongly look through me,
and have my mind soaked
with things like courage, and happiness, and hope.

I lay there for hours until their vivid wisdom fades.
the dreadful transition of night to day.

When the sun gradually peaks over the horizon,
I notice the pain in my hand from clenching my knife.
But as the light shines upon me,
the only feeling I have is the feeling of life.

I stand face to face with the greatest star of all.
Feeding off of its power, I break down my wall.

The sun shows me the paths that I have to choose from,
but it's up to me to choose the right one.

I'm ready to cut ties with the sadness I hold.
I shall live my life right and pick the right way to go.

I'm eager for night to fall,
to show them that they were right.
They all found their way.
The stars are mine tonight.


Details | Verse | |

Secretly Obsessed

Obsessed with the thought of you
wondering if it's only me or
if you sometimes remember the sweet things you've said
and if you meant them how I took them
or if I'm just obsessed with what's in your head

Obsessed with your very sentences
Every response I take personal
I know it's selfishness
Have you not noticed my eyes?
They hold secrets that only you can unlock
if you'd just take time to fill the thick juices of my pride
It's just boiling with lust, passion, trust and distrust
and other things I obsess over so much

I find myself writing to free myself from this prison I've created
where only you and I reside
I become confused about what I'm really feeling inside and I 
try to rid the thoughts that are highly debated as false and I
begin to cry and
think of casting love spells so that the universe can deliver this affair
I know it's unfair
but I don't care

I'm obsessed with what hasn't happened between us
I'm obsessed with your heart and that the fact that 
I don't think you've even noticed my selfish innuendos 
and secret undertones that blatantly express my lust
Or maybe you have and you calmly remain in resistance of distrust 
If you could only read my mind by simply touching my fingertips,
I'm sure I'd catch you out the corner of my eye biting your bottom lip
I'm obsessed with the passion and thoughts I think you have
Obsessing over an experience that I may never have....






Details | Free verse | |

The Beauty In Futility

Futility
my heart breathes its last breath
Embraces its own death
Ready to be reborn 
and made anew

Can’t live a lie
Refuse to “do”
and I’ll DIE....
Focus now on why I’ll live 
And never touch the sky. 

I have to forget you
I have to reject you 
But I will never love anyone 
like I loved you.....

I heard you whisper 
and you never knew it
I wiped the tears from your eyes 
But you couldn’t feel it

You’re lost and you’ll never find you
And neither will I 
And I’m so sorry--
but I’m NOT. 

I'll attempt to reset
Try to forget
But you know, I never will. 

Be my dirty little secret 
My very worst-kept secret 
Sweet, smooth, beautiful poison 
My infernal and endless attraction 
towards complete and utter self-destruction 

I fell in love with the devil
And it will take one heck of an angel
To save me from the likes of you....

My addiction 
my confusion
my nightmare
my dream never to come true

Oh, I’ll never forget the times
we never shared
I’ll never forget 
how you were never there

Always me, the stars, and tears
And I ask you,
what kind of life is THAT?

I have to face the facts 
I don’t know what happens now
but it happens without you. 

The stains will always be there
the scars will never fade
But the memory of you----
it HAS to. 

I could carry the torch forever
But it would only consume me
I can’t cry another tear for you
Or I’ll dry up completely

It doesn’t affect you
and you never deserved me

You’ll go on with your life, too
All, all alone
Because you’ll only ever be in love
with you. 


Details | Rhyme | |

blood transfusion



Details | Free verse | |

In Her Fathers Arms

The evening star glowing in a dust choked sky. A girl stands by a window, with a tear in her eye. She stares at the scene, hardly visible through the grime. She whispers in the wind, “Bring my Dad home this time” She opens the window, and climbs outside, Having a flashlight, in her hand, as her guide. Its glow shows the sides of the street. She’s afraid for what the light will meet Bodies piled everywhere she turns, She wants to go home, and never return. What brought this fate upon her town? All her emotions are stripped and torn down. A frightening sound explodes in her ear. Shadows in the road now appear. She run and hides behind a broken wall Praying to god the rest doesn’t fall. Footsteps coming closer to her She can’t tell who because it’s all a blur She backs away further so not to be seen in light, Quieting her heart pounding from fright. Gun shots and screams fill the air, All these sounds, her ears couldn’t bear. A slight whimper slips from her lips, And over the broken stone she trips. The shadows run closer, showering her heart with fear, She wishes they would just disappear. They pass by her; she fills with delight, She just wants to see her dad tonight. She shines the light, to show her place, And to the shine comes a familiar face. She doesn’t understand who’s to blame Because on the tag shows her father’s name. She holds in her tears and refrains from crying. She falls to the ground where her dad was lying. She lifts his arm and buries her face in his chest. She closes her eyes wanting to forget the rest. The shadows emerge yet she doesn’t see, How close the end for her would be. They look down at her, aim, shoot, and fire. Being with her dad is her only desire. The night had ended causing a little girl harm But she took her last breath, in her father’s arms.


Details | Ballad | |

Silent House

The house stands mute, broken by years...
Windows stare through jagged glass.
Empty as the eyes of death.
Silent void...echoing joy..patient tears,
reach out in memory each time I pass
the gaping door which has no breath.
 
A rusted lamp-post leans toward Earth...
listening for approaching sound,
to light the darkness once more.
Quiet hush...resounding mirth,
touch my step upon the ground,
and beckon me in, to the shattered house.
 
Crushed boards once held dancing feet...
laughter clings to crumbled stones,
and tears strain the silent rooms.
Scattered remnants of life replete,
lie still as whitened desert bones,
and words spoken...here entombed.
 
I gaze upon torn and tattered walls...
Time pauses, and whispers soft to me
of life blossomed rich in moments gone.
Of a woman whose memory recalls
the beauty of love...and eternity...
mirrored in a rose upon the lawn.
 
House so sad, your youth abounds,
neath fallen grace, and buried sounds.
I hear your song in distant night,
and stand before your silent sight.
 


Details | Free verse | |

Tumbleweeds


Memories tumble through my mind, some, missing for a while.
I try to fill in the blanks. Others, I sweep into the corners.
You know, the ones that are easier forgotten.
Tumbleweeds...my memories have become tumbleweeds.
I take snapshots of the cherished ones, giving them a home
before they blow away in the savage wind.
"Did I tell you my mom liked to dance?"
"Yes", I remember.
I hear the music, her long hair bouncing with each step.
She doesn't dance anymore.
Moments gone...memories fleeting.
"Did I tell you my dad played drums?"
"Yes", I remember. 
I hear rat-a-tat-tat in my head.
I used to sing at the top of my lungs while he played.
He never seemed to mind my shrill, little girl voice.
I miss him, I miss his drums. Music is not the same.
I close my eyes and another memory blows through spaces.
My brother is racing his bike down the street FAST.
He is about ten, all legs in his shorts.
"Where are you going?" I call after him, too late.
He is gone and I wonder if he was ever here.
Some do go astray I remind myself.
Missing memories...missing love.
"Wait, come back", I yell. I'm still here.
Ruminating, I ask myself if we ever know the ones we love.
No, not really. I remember.
Frantic, I reach for the tumbleweeds.
I reach for my two earthly fathers who are long gone...
I see them. Then, they blow away, missing again.
I chase them futilely. The savage wind still blows.
Across grains of desert sand, I will never know why.
Tumbleweeds...my memories have become tumbleweeds.

By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
March 2, 2012
Second Place in Chris Aechtner's Let the Masks Fall Contest




Details | Free verse | |

Complete Isolation

Am I man or ghost?
Am I mortal or apparition?
Questions or choices
or entwined reality?
For a state of confusion
sleeps within my fiber, and
slowly rips asunder, the final
sliver of my contemporary humanity,

Sunrises and sunsets go unseen,
as I fully embrace my departure
from time, human contact, and connection,
with a creative conviction and devotion
to my only passion as an excuse, a deceitful
reason to shelter myself from the tender
moments that keep emotions empowered
and empathy evolved,

Yet truth is untied by introspection,
and as I analyze, I accept reality,
Seclusion has become to me, the 
fruit that protects the emotional
body but imprisons the loving mind,
and by this bittersweet conundrum,
I am bound and devoted to this ambivalence,
by the mere comfort and promise of
being content,

And by such a promise, I have
personified my fear of emotional
agony, yet tamed its risk with the 
fierce whip of isolation, thus the shame
and allure become as one, And as I
lose who I was, and tolerate who I am,
my disconnection from humanity
hurts those who care, yet keeps me
safe, with ink as my final outlet,

Still, as I sacrifice need for need,
I am not the one who still suffers,
Those with hearts that beat for me,
have become victims of my seclusion,
and I ache for them, but less and less
with each breath, For my isolation
continues to force its fee, and I notice
only after it is taken, and as I see their pain,

Only my thoughts are heard, my wishes
important, and my contentment decreed,
And despite visions of tears and sorrow
that were once my salvation, Now, I 
only look away, and remain a willing
prisoner in the sweet self shelter, of
the nothingness I show, and will one day
feel, without rue...


Details | Rhyme | |

The anomaly of irony.

Rolling through a bloody mess,
my master died alone no less.
His mercy was indeed a lie,
he said I lived but now will die.

His hand was swift with a mighty stroke,
within a thought my life was broke.
Oh how I lived, and he knew not,
but now I lay...my life to rot.

No foot, nor hand could move a limb,
Three days old and no sign of him.
And then he came at my wits end,
With strength alone I cant defend.

He lift me up and broke my jaw,
Just to laugh as I hit the floor.
He took a blade and made a fist,
stabbed his flesh, his vein, his wrist.

Now you're dead and now you're mine,
drink from me and you'll be fine.
I could not stand my masters site,
I killed him quick with my own bite.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

After the Party

It' over, and...
The last guest's gone home
Now you sit there, all alone
Exhausted, drained...
The clean-up can wait
Till tomorrow brings
A brand new date

The pain returns,
Though you'd had a break,
As if you had suddenly
Become awake...

Dishes and glasses,
Spills and more,
Give credence
To your company,
That have passed 
Through your door...

You sit a spell,
Weigh the odds,
Was it fun?
A gift of the Gods?

Now you are sad,
For you are alone again,
Your only companion
Your diary pen...

Too tired to write,
Suddenly it seems
a waste,
All your thoughts
Between covers
Stuck together
With emotional paste

So to your lonely bed
You crawl again
Wishing it was like an older time ,when
A warm body awaited you,
With arms outstretched,
And each night anew
Sweet nectar of love
Shared by our lips,
And not this loneliness
That at your heart rips

Someday, I hope,
Someday I pray,
It will turn out,
Another way,
For loneliness a bitter pill
To swallow,
With prospects of more pain,
With each day to follow.


Details | Rhyme | |

Plockton - Wester Ross

The greatest holiday gift I ever received  
Goes back so many, many years
Before my life became turmoiled
And before my tears for fears

I was a child like many out there
Torn, strewn and split of kin
Mother and father in differences
Confused at seven, wearing their same skin

For I was one of the lucky ones
To a Highland Estate I would go
It's on the west coast of Scotland
Where my holidays desired me so

Secretly I internally smiled
For a whisper of where I was heading
To live with a movie star hero
No longer my life was in dreading

We were picked up by a man so fine
His manners were an absolute joy
Regimental he was in his approach
To me, just a seven year old boy

We travelled through the village of Plockton
Crystal clear waters edged to it's shore
I knew from this very moment
Being here ebbed previous family sores

On entering his house I was in awe
Movie pictures came to my view
They were images of James Bond
At seven I was totally through

A voice called to me
Hey James! sit down and I'll tell you me
Still in circles in walking awe
This is what he told thee

My name is Patrick Dalzel Job
In the Second World War I served
But this recognition I bestow
Humbles me to it's deserve

This honour that's been given
Was blessed by a colleague in war
What desired Ian Fleming to be so striven
Possibly, what we were fighting for

We served on the same destroyer
Fighting to make the future free
His tribute, in his novels I became
James Bond, it's incredibly me





Not many seven year olds have stayed with James Bond.
This seven year old Scot's boy has, maybe I learnt?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Dalzel-Job


Details | Narrative | |

America, Why Did You Stray?

America, why did you stray from the old way.
A constitution put forth, the foundation of our land,
barely recognizable what was originally Jefferson's hand.
Tarnished and smudged by misinterpretation,
overindulgence and greed, to satisfy political,
judicial, and journalistic need.
Once majority rule, now bordering on ridicule,
the law of the land, ever changing, meeting demands,
of whoever takes a stand.

America, why did you stray, parents unable to discipline,
fear children undisciplined now rule, school in chaos,
students unruly, guaranteed to pass, unprepared for their future,
parents unsure, wish for the past, hope the next generation,
won't be like the last.

America, why did you stray, streets used to be a place to play,
neighbors knew one another, socialized every day,
doors left unlocked, nothing to fear, families stayed close,
helped one another, took care of mother.

Now drugs rule the day, hate and crime more common than play,
multiple locks symbolic of today, rarely talk to a stranger,
living in fear; life no longer precious, taken away,
day after day, the bloody count rises, a country in crisis,
victims pay, guilty appeal, courts give them the best deal.
Nobody protests for victims rights, put a murderer to death,
they scream all night.

America, why did you stray, hatred and bigotry alive 
and well today, nationalities split, long for the old way,
when an American, was just an American, now hyphenation,
the accepted way.

America, why did you stray, once an industrial giant
you gave it away, too high a standard for industry to pay,
moved out of country, the new American way, unemployment,
poverty, homelessness rapidly increasing, ruined lives,
while billions are spent on so called allies.

America, why did you stray, what's written today,
barely address the wrongs building every day,
religion is accepted, God is not,
country divided, politically split,
presidential bashing provides journalistic wit,
hatred and bigotry, live for it.

America why did you stray, new chapters every day,
really a damn shame.


Details | Lyric | |

Human Being

I walk a mile to see the self in me that I believe to be, 
I knew the road I choose to lay my head to sleep is called my home,
times in need I could barely see that in myself I will set free, 
the act that held me down, something about me I could not see,
I lived a life when I decide that day I said that I don't care, 
so young, so bright, I dim my light, traumatized for me to share,
love me please regardless of what you heard and what you have seen, 
friends say that I'm only human, yes you're right, a human but who am I being?
My life will move in the direction I choose, 
this I know I have always been taught
that I choose to be a winner or lose, 
its entirely up to me its all in my thoughts.

Ken Fepulea'i


Details | Free verse | |

Carbon Monoxide (CO) Week 2: Carbon Cabrona

Smokeless inhales hurt.
I cough tar on my shirt.
As my black lungs breathe,
Shrilling exhales wheeze.

Cabrona
Falls me
Down to
My knees.

The nicotine cracks
My will.
My composure
Spills.

I want 
This.
I must 
Have this.

I sink
Into
The brink
Of madness.


Details | Free verse | |

EULOGY FOR THE ELDON GALLERY, WATERLOO


Once a place that sold cultivated pigment, the shop has become a catacomb,
Windows entombed by cardboard boxes, deprived of the merest hint of life and
I wonder if the gallery owner had intended a display of irony or focused rage. 

Gone, the watercolour weeping chartreuse, its soft backdrop of midnight blue,
And the oil on wood with knife strokes applied so thickly, it almost moved, 
Charcoal sketches of thunderstorms hitting the shores of Port Elgin, greys loud. 

Dark now the halls that had sheltered dreamscapes, art of all disciplines and sizes,
Squeezing themselves into corners and elbowing each other for my attention.
I ache for that one perfect dove that called to me from an azure sky, the one who 

knew my name, but I did not have the funds to take him home to my little cage.
He deserved a rectory or a view that would at least provide a kind of sanctuary.
Oh, how his wings had beat against pulse points and one of his feathers tickled

out a memory of a robin that had flown towards a cloudless sky, but instead had 
collided with a picture window; the contact point marred by a red, sickle shaped 
smear, and my grandmother had carefully wrapped the corpse in yesterday’s news.

I had trudged out to the garbage can, unseen, found the poor thing in its shroud, 
Snuck out to the garden and buried it amongst tall phlox and florid snap dragons,
I’d succumbed to tears, wrenched by a world where beauty is fragile and disposable.

Today people walk along the street, wearing blinders, holding devices that fail to
signal that something living and real slowly starved to death, atrophied, and I watch
a happy child point to a puddle, but her mother fails to see the large coin it holds.

I recall a portrait that had enraptured like a sun shower, reminiscent of light and rain, 
A girl traipsing waves, almost overtaken, her footsteps disappearing under foam…
And I silently apologize to those artists unmet, the ones who continue to meet panes. 







*Please click on the About my Poem link to see a picture of what inspired this poem... It has been closed for a while, but today, I walked past it and remembered the lovely art that I had once appreciated, yet was never able to afford. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Rehab

So much I wanted to say. So much I wanted to shout.
It was like being trapped behind bars without a way
to get out.
My mind going wild with all these questions of why.
The only way to escape was to fall asleep or to cry.
What did I do so bad that made me have to pay?
My friends, my dreams, and my life was swepped away.
I know I can do it! I try and I try.
Nothing seems to get better. I sometimes wish
I would Die.
Starved for attention. I wanna talk to the world.
I just miss being loved. Miss the warmth of a girl.
Snickers and stairs is what my life has become.
I'm treated like I'm a kid, like I'm sick, or I'm dumb.
One day to the next. Life becomes work just to be alive.
I thank god for my blessings. I thank god I survived.
I finally see some improvement. More hope tickles
my brain.
It was worth all the time, all the tears, all the pain.
I awake with a smile and new hope to move on.
I did it! I did it! All those hard times are gone!


Details | Free verse | |

Shattered

Looking out a rainy window,
Seeing places that seem strange,
Makes you think of old and new, 
Shattered dreams, a glimpse of change,
All away and all distorted,
In the once so hopeful heart,
All beneath what you have planned,
If a plan is what you've got.
Many try to comprehend,
Why trouble just comes their way;
Sadly they find in the end
That they couldn't have a say
And they're wrong for thinking so
But when sadness flies to you,
There isn't much you can do... 

Is there?

Maybe lie to you and others,
That we are a happy kind,
Just that sometimes we are clouded
By the way our lives entwine.


Details | Verse | |

Demon In Plastic.

In grimed secluded alleyway’s it’s his key into the divine, 
Believing deliverance has arrived while he walks this narrow line,

Those eyes begin seeing reality his mind now lucid has cleared,
The truth’s of his past now a cacophony welling up within perfect ears,

Numbing out his nervous system a blind faith blanketed brain,
Sporadic lighting of violent flashes lost within his mind deranged,

Everything once believed assured now snippets of a life long elapsed,
Consigning his soul to valueless spirits his self worth allowed to collapse,

Without destination a wandering shell conforming to push through the days,
Ignoring the voices of pleas and salvation sinking farther within mired haze,

Memories taunting of mandible grasps devouring slowly his will to survive,
Nightmares convulsing those hideous features transforming beauty into 
despised,

Shrinking in angst from real vindication devolving back where the journey began,
He ties off his arm inserting the needle releasing the demons inside once again.


Details | Rhyme | |

Nevermore

With the weather cold and dry
My mind wanders far and wide
Within the future things in store
Negative thoughts, nevermore

Of course the mind can think of horrible thoughts
The pain that left the memory, not forgot
Until one day, it returns to life
To fear it with your heart, nevermore

This stone inside is your sanctuary
Not to be broken or to make one wary
Demons from the past surround your love
Let these Legion win, nevermore

Alas, true lovers can fight them off
Not lie, bicker, hate or scoff
Predict the weather tomorrow pleasant
Allow the rain to come, nevermore

You cannot allow this darkness to thrive
To swarm your soul like a hornets’ hive
Beware of those who intend to kill
Let them take your heart, nevermore

Titles are a trivial thing
Would phones or your heart start to ring?
When your darling returns home in your arms
Let the outside in, nevermore

For you and our love are all that matter
My heart and soul come together in patter
For my weakness is your voice
Allow us to be apart, nevermore


Details | Rhyme | |

Dead horizon

It was raining with pain from above
and dews of blood are seeping,
on the windows, houses and asphalt
putting out the fire of life feeling.

from the branches of the oaks from the hill
on a string dead cold bodies are hanging,
down are staying the trails of hope
and in the sky,the last sunset is shining.

and the burned out trees, full of ashes,
are waving in the cold wind alone,
they reopen the door for a moment
and let the soul to go home...

all that is left now is empty,
on the river,the willow is dying,
on the streets the life dead lost feeling
and on the grass the dews of blood crying.


Details | Verse | |

Nothing But This

Furnace pink roses blushed on your cheeks,
I held my breath when I saw you there,
Stood in the sand in a gossamer dress,
That clung to your form as the breeze caught your hair.

Bruises of rain clouds filled up your eyes,
I held you close when your spirits were low,
The feel of your skin was electrically cool
As the rain swept your face and your eyes were aglow.

I’m just a chancer who stood in your path,
I borrowed the beat of your heart just for me,
I still feel your skin in that gossamer dress
As the sun fell behind you and sank in the sea.

And I never found one last moment to spare,
I gave not one second to grant one last kiss,
But when you close your eyes I pray I’ll be there,
There’s nothing else for it, nothing but this.


Details | Acrostic | |

ABUSE

Agony
Blood
Unrealistic pain
Sheer terror
Emotional scars that never heal


Details | Ballade | |

Imagine

Imagine lakes of dreams 
Blood contained streams
Imagine oceans that behold undiscovered beings
Imagine human life depended off of cheers and games
Man design’s umbrellas
And eventually would play a part in acid rain
Imagine not wanting to smell another rose 
Or touch another soul 
Because of despair and shame
Imagine in the mist of your demise
You have the passion to rejoice and sing
Imagine driving pass shattered glass
The interior  is soaked with blood stains
Your mind can't comprehend the fact 
that it's a dead family in the next lane
Imagine dreaming for freedom
As a result by your neck you hang
Imagine for the sake of progress 
You whip a man on his back and call him a slave.
Rage, Pain, Fortune, and fame
You don't have to imagine this 
Because that's what life brings.


Details | Light Poetry | |

THE LAKE OF TEARS

 A Lake of tears I am 
Many lily blossoms 
 everyday here and 
I await the presence 
Of someone always
Just to watch it al least
Though it is a vain hope 
still I continue .


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

Loosing It

  < Early morning,

   Its rainy and dark,

   Quit dull,

   Cloudy and gray,

   Emotions flowing not,

   So dim and sadden,

   Stuck in a zone,

   Feeling all alone,

   Suddenly blacken,

   Now dressed in lace,

   And black satin,

   Emotions flowing all over,

   Yet still lost,

   Dazed and amazed,

   Felt crushed pancake flatten......>






Details | Rhyme | |

My mother, my earth.

Into the light I see,
with rays in clouds and warmth in me.
Brittle is the air around,
no voice is there, nor sweeter sound.

Within my scars and broken back,
there are my kin, there love I lack.
The oceans turn, therefore I weep,
Is it truly my tears to keep?

Now the mountains begin to fall,
like sand and dust to death they call.
I hear my children bleed and cry,
there bellies thirst and almost dry.

Some will seat and eat there fill,
"lets help them now, so now we will!
His mother would find pride within,
a pretty thing this life of sin.

Alas, my days are almost through,
my breath, my flesh and heart is too.
Let this be my final song,
for war alone is for the strong.

Into the night I see,
is there still love left for me?


Details | Rhyme | |

A Tough Guy's Recompense

Stoic, is my demeanor
Masculine through and through
I’m as tough as the tough guys come
More manly than all of you

Emotions are for sissies
My tears had never flown
Catastrophes, I greeted with smiles
Heartbreak I’d never shown

She was all of five years old
The sweetest child I’d ever seen
To be told that she is dying of cancer
Was a diagnosis too obscene

Forty years of pent up feelings
I had learned to keep inside
Putting up a manly façade
Not even knowing what I did hide

And then the door flew open
As wide as wide could be
The dam holding back my humanity
Broke down inside of me

I shaved my head to be like her
I held her little hand
I would cry and laugh and giggle with her
Every moment that I can

Being a man doesn’t mean pretending
That your heart cannot be touched
It means being there to share your love
Helping others when life gets rough

It took a five year old, little girl
To really show me how to be a man
The courage she had to fight her fight
Proved her to be tougher than I am

I no longer hold back tears
I say, “I love you” all the time
Showing the world exactly what I feel
I no longer view as a hideous crime

I wept at her funeral
And, I’ve cried every night since
That door remains wide open
A tough guy’s recompense


Details | I do not know? | |

before you came along

Before you came along
 everything was going all wrong
 i didn't know what to do 
but that was before i knew i needed you

 i would walk down the streets all alone 
going every where but home
 
before you came along
 
i would turn my face to the sky 
wishing i could tell this world a quick  goodbye 

before you came along
 
i would fall down 
so far down i had to look up
 to see the ground 

but before i could shed another tear
 you were here 
 holding me in your arms

you had finally come along
 just in time to help me be strong
 
i love u
 
now u are ready to go
 i did something, 
what,
 i guess ill never know
 this has all played out like a bad song
 because now your going
 going
 going
 GONE :(
 




Details | Narrative | |

A Blind Sunset

He glances out the window,
And watches the sunset,
But he doesn’t see the beauty,
Nor the warm rays which, 
Pierces through the glass,
Only the anticipation and, 
Anxiety of a long night,

Carefully, he watches, 
The colors change,
First the bright orange, 
"God I pray this never ends…"
Filling with a deep red,
"Just a little while longer…"
Slowly softening to the, 
Deceptive pinks and purples,
"Please, one more minute…"
Fading into the crimson black,
Which only night can bring,

Reluctantly, he gets ready for sleep,
Yet, knows it will never come,
He tossed and turns,
Half praying, half waiting,
Knowing what will happen,
In the way only a child can,

A light! It peeks through a crack,
In the door as a shadow floods the opening,
Quickly, the figure slips through the door,
And shuts it softly, but not without the,
Empty creak which has become so familiar,
The shadow climbs in beside him,
Touching his trembling leg, whispering,

“Hush little brother, it’ll be alright,
While I’m here, have no fear,
I’ll keep you safe tonight,”

He struggles and writhes,
Sadly knowing he will never,
Break the grip and prays to faint,
To loss all consciousness and,
Memory of that horrible night,
Just for one night without the pain,
Just for one night without, 
The cold empty feeling, 

Several years pass, too many to count, 
A single call, one he had never expected,
He rushes to the hospital to find, 
His tormentor for so many years,
Lying on a cold, hard bed,
Able to move, but only by pushing a button,
Able to speak, but only with a whisper,

He stays by him for weeks, caring for him,
Reading to him, watching over him,
Still suffering, still unable to move, 
He takes his brother home, 

The day goes on, moving slow as all,
The evening comes and he,
Watches once more as the sun sets,
Carefully watching, Orange to red,
Red to purple, and as the purple turns to black,
He walks into the room where his brother lies,
Slowly, he sits next to him, holding a pillow,
Stroking his head whispering,

“Hush big brother, it’ll be alright,
While I’m here, have no fear,
I’ll keep you safe tonight,”

The difference between right and wrong,
Can be hard to find,
But who’s there to see you,
When justice is blind?



Details | Free verse | |

in memory of a rose

your velvety blossoms
slowly withers away
once tender roots
have now decayed
at the thought i cringe
such insidious disease
gradually infects
each and every leaf

moldy black spots
crinkled stained edges
your magnificent growth
gradually suppresses
your unsurpassed beauty 
now fuzzed up and gray
crinkled debilated stems
a dull distorted array

shoots barely opened
leaves now curled and bent
such unforgettable moment
your petals soon descend
your spicy scent has drifted
such sickly brittle vein
Flowers now discolored
and left to thrive on pain

after months of nurturing
your once marvelous display
the thought of you slowly wilting
has left me in dismay



*My theme is taken from Constance's Poem "in Memory of a rose"*


Details | Rhyme | |

Who will free my soul

WHO WILL FREE MY SOUL?

Criticism and sarcastic words is all i hear,
Nobody ever appreciates my efforts.
Failure and fiasco is all fear,
Inspiration derived doesn’t seem to comfort.

Mask I put won’t conceal my pain.
Favors made, countless I pray.
I’m being controlled like horse’s rein.
To my oppressors, I am a prey.

Torturing my body will not tame,
The deeds done won’t reveal my compassion.
To go down this way will only embrace my name.
But who ought to test my oppression?

My character resembles a fragment,
Nothing to reform to, my incarnation unknown
Broken inside diversify my temperament,
When I die, will I reincarnate and be renowned?

My purpose in this world is incarcerated.
Confiscating my dreams in contempt,
My dilapidated soul is imprisoned.
Who will bail me out? Oh! Dear, who ought to attempt?

An endeavor to convince of my righteousness,
Is like beating a dead horse.
Crystal washing my mistakes won’t justify my fallibleness,
But will craft my conscience till I passenger the hearse!

					By Willem Pietersen


Details | Lyric | |

Normal To Me

This isn't just a poem This isn't just another emotion This is me, these are my thoughts The Imagery is my sight, And The Allegories are my Life I'm lonely, There is just me But there's so many people around but no one can hear my loudest screams Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me I'm torn, I'm Cut Part of my heart stabbed, and then taken from me The Search for my innocence, Is like a moa hunt Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Laughing and Jokes all directed towards me Just to Hurt me Cover all of the Halls "Fag, Emo, Queer" Words I too often know Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Curling her hair putting on her makeup "You're worthless and nothing to Me" Says the so-called all-loving-one As she screams: "Why am I not Pretty" Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me This is not just a poem not just some words my pen cries with each words But this is Just a Glimpse Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me


Details | I do not know? | |

Stolen Innocence

The sexual abuse of children is all to common these days. The effects are everlasting. These crimes effect more than 
just the victim. I am a member of a poetry site (Poet's Workshop) and we were challenged to write a poem about such 
abuse. It is our way of spreading the word, helping to fight crime against our children, and help support the victims. 
They need to know they are not alone, it is not their fault and to help them to heal! This was my submission. Not for 
the easily disturbed, this is real people, it happens all the time!

Stolen Innocence

Holding back the tears,
An innocent Angel suffers in silence.
Trembling hands and aching heart;
Anticipating the eminent violence.
Lord, please let the day last
and keep the sun from falling
Protect her from the night
When evil comes calling
Her prayer is unanswered,
Under the covers she weeps.
A twist of the door knob;
Into her room he creeps.
She sees the beastly silhouette
From beneath her cotton sheet,
Tiny fists clinch, writhing in pain
Her agony; his desire is replete
His words were gentle; not threatening
She believed his love was true
When he said my little princess,
This is what all DaddyÍs do.
MommyÍs are jealous of this little game
That only DaddyÍs get to play
You can never tell a living soul
They wonÍt believe you anyway
And so she kept this little secret.
And kept her bruises well concealed.
She knew that Mommy would be hurt
If the truth were ever revealed
The late night games became more frequent
Often more than once a night
Love should not cause such pain
There is no way this could be right
She called her Mother to her room
Mommy, I think you need to know
DaddyÍs done some awful things
He touched me down below
He told me never to tell you
That youÍd just be angry with me
Oh I am so very sorry
Mommy can you forgive me
That very instant, an arrow pierced her heart
Her knees buckled, she dropped to the ground
Speechless, immersed with guilt
Rage, Anger, Contriction all compound
The light inside her died that day
Unable to protect her own creation
Two spirits broken, one by the hands of another
And one sentenced by her own damnation


Details | Lyric | |

A Helpless Angel

On a cold winter night
Not far from here
There was a child
Suffering great fear

She was unfortunate
She was hurt
She always wore the same dress
and the same shirt

She prayed for mercy
She prayed for light
She prayed for love
Instead of fights

She had no chance
The fight was not fair
Her mother held her down
While her father beat her there

She tried to tell someone
But who would care?
She wanted someone
Who would always be there

A little boy
Whom she never knew
Sat down beside her
Their friendship was true

They talked for hours
They could talk for days
Then she had realized
It was getting late

Later that night
As she laid in bed
Her drunken parents stormed in
Their faces beating red

She screamed for help
But no one would respond
When someone realized her plead
She was already gone

A few days later
Six feet in the ground
A long lost angel
Had finally been found

She's up in heaven
With a smile on her face
She walked to Jesus
and she was embraced

A helpless angel
Carved into stone
Now she will never be alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Hurt

I can't tell you what it is I can't even tell you what it feels like I can only tell you that it's the worst pain You'll ever feel in you life It'll feel like every bone in your body is breaking Like every breath you take will be your last Like every muscle in your body is failing to support you And thats only the least of it. There is so much more! You eyes will feel like they're bleeding from all the tears you'll shed. You tounge will swell with words that you can't say. Your ears will make you question everything coming into them. And your heart, Well thats the worst part of it! It will feel as though its stopped beating... And who knows, maybe it has.


Details | Epyllion | |

Late Night On Salisbury Ave.

The meadow's radiance gradually dimmed
and evening littered far and wide
it encouraged the unfamiliar 
and everything uncertain.

The night accelerated sounds of anticipation 
as a thousand strangers loomed
 
and I thought him to be a foreigner 
until he glanced twice 
as his smile slightly dropped
 astonishment plagued him

Insecurity encompassed me
as I turned away in doubt 
betrayed by the numinous... 
that often guides my thoughts

He left with lady and child, to merge 
With a thousand anticipating strangers 
 and the northern lights sheltered me
  the explosions across the sky 
gave satisfaction -to so much expectation 
that unexpectedly emerged 

Then the night was briefly soundless; 
the applause prolonged 
as were my duties...by my immersion
and within what felt like only seconds
he was passing, 

 through a thin pane of glass 
all I could yield was a smile, 

a smile to the incredulity within his eyes. 

Enclosed with the evening...was the meadow, 
and the difference was indistinguishable.


Details | Rhyme | |

War in the Street


War
in the street
faces 
marred by defeat
crying, fighting
kicking, biting

where is the truth they’re refusing?
can’t you see humanity is losing?

sapphires 
seeking retribution
victims 
of senseless persecution
amnesty 
road blocked by political futility
stubborn leaders
breeding this brutality

martyrs 
paving ways brave and proud
but signs say, ”NO PROTESTING ALLOWED!"
people 
risking their lives
to benefit future generations
placing themselves on shelves
for the sake of their children's salvation

for now, they fall
bludgeoned in defeat 
with hopes of a brighter tomorrow
for this bloodshed today in the street

~JSLambert

© 2011 JSLambert


Details | Quatrain | |

The Vietnam War

The pro-Hanoi Vietcong many years ago
In the 1950's Diem's government they'd overthrow
All opposition was crushed killed or jailed
These elected ones to their people they failed

This Buddhist country so religious in belief
Now politically torn apart, impending future grief
In the early 1960's with the CIA in place
Discussing with Vietnam's generals, Diem, assassinated in disgrace

With the Vietcong army, growing from strength to strength
Another communist foothold, going to any lengths
In 1965, with 3500 U.S. Marines in place
By December of that year, 200,000 in many a base

These U.S. Marines, in their defensive mode
Over the coming months, peace would soon erode
With the Tet Offensive upon us, and the "Battle of Hue"
The Americans were now involved, this bloody war now brews

One decision to end this conflict, came in 1969
Nixon sent 18 B-52s, bordering Soviet airspace line
He wanted to show he was capable, to end this bloody war
But as the months and years progressed, the body count would soar

The anti-war movement was gathering strength, also in 1969
But the "Green Beret Affair" started to undermine
A U.S. Army platoon raped and pillaged, the village of My Lai
Where civilians were massacred, and many left to die

In 1970-71, Cambodia incurred wars wrath
Where they and the country Laos, were in the U.S. bombing path
Also in 71, there was the cutting of the Ho Chi Minh trail
But arms and supplies got through, this mission to no avail

Later in the same year, the Anzac's withdrew their soldiers
The U.S. also reduced, many of theirs from Vietnam's borders
In 1973, Nixon declared the suspension of offensive action
The Paris Peace Accords took place, peace with this warring faction

Between the years 73 - 74 under Trà, the Vietcong grew in strength
There was no mass offensive, to lure the Americans to their trench
Gradually they marched to their target, to see their enemies eyes
To their city of Saigon, now over a million humans have died

The average age of the American to die in this bloody war
Was just nineteen years old, never knowing what they were fighting for
So many came home from this horror, leaving themselves behind
Because so many came home different, home with a different mind

Even to this day, many Americans look back and ask
Why their elected Congress, feed them to these tasks
The sad thing about Vietnam, it continues to this present day
Where governments make decisions, asking guns to hear their say




Details | Quatrain | |

Average Age 19

Once again, the powers that must
In rise again in what we trust
An overseas conflict, another war
Just what in the hell are we fighting for

Families are asking, Korea has just passed
Generations again reft, how long will it last
A country in need, to rebuild again
Flags at half mast, in wind and rain strain

Once again into war, sent by the Washington Post
To send back reports to hit home the most
Military observers were the first to be sent in
Another chapter of man entering existing sin

I'm witnessing our ariel power, Lam Son 719
US planners determine their incursion, saying all will be fine
Along the Mekong River, we'll carpet bomb their supply trail
Tons of munitions and napalm, this spread surely cannot fail

Many sorties are being flown, for the wounded and the dead
Whilst Nixon and his cronies, aren't thinking with their heads
The news of losses has reached me, nineteen have been killed
Eleven missing, fifty nine wounded, more American blood spilled

Seven fixed wing aircraft, more sons in action loss
Whilst back at home more protests, fading the dyeing's gloss
To to this job that I do, I was never prepared for this
To witness such bloody scenes, and ignore that life is bliss

How can I write about a soldier, whose name I'll never know
Killed at nineteen years old, his family he'll never see grow
Or even explain to his parents, when carried from the AH-1
His body bullet riddled and limp, when lifted it bloodily run

I never went back to the theatre, called the Vietnam War
Having witnessed the wanton killing, what were we fighting for
This colonial conflict that started, us on the side of France
So many came back as strangers, many to live in trance





James Fraser's entry into the contest " WORLD OF WAR: VIETNAM "



Details | I do not know? | |

I Can Always Pretend

The cold touch of the metal
On my soft bare skin
The turn out can only be fatal
Ill do this with a grin
No one can ever tell
That i even feel this way
Depression doesnt ring their bell
But i know that this is the day
The day this all ends
The day that i fade
The day i make amends
The day i wont be afraid
Iv hidden it for so long
No ones ever known
Im not really this strong
The real me has never been shown
This metal razor is cold
On my oh so soft bare skin
The move im making will be bold
When i decide to let depression win
My life cut short
My life gone
My life had no support
My life is done
This razor now bloody
With a smile on my face
No movement from my body
My smile not out of place
Lying on the floor
Note tucked in my hand
Please do not ignore
For this is what it read
"I ended it for you
I ended it so be happy
Its what i had to do
I even made it snappy
You were the one
That i chose
You made me numb
And let me go
My life had its ending
But see im smiling
Im still pretending
That your 'i love you' wasn't you lying"


Details | Rhyme | |

A Walk On The Sand

We knew love together hand in hand.
Memories are still living.
With are walks upon the sand.

Seashells in a old wooden box.
The oceans spray.
A vanishing form down by the old 
docks.

A bottle without a message
comes in with the tide.
Try as I must this pain
I cannot hide.

That old lighthouse stands as
strong as should I.
The tide changes yet never does die.


Details | Chant Royal | |

You take all of me

Take all of Me

	I always wanted to know why I felt so empty when you went away. I never understood. Why or how can someone 
make me feel this way? My heart is beating, my mind is racing, my hands are shaking. I try to catch my breath, I am lost!! 
I try to hold back my tears. I try to retrace my footsteps and rethink those thoughts. My heart is black, my mind is 
fogged....my lips are sealed. I cant find  all the answers, but I came up with this, “You take all fo me.”


Details | ABC | |

My Being

Clumsy days and hazy nights

Haunting and bring me tears

I should stop perturbing

Whilst my heart still whipping

Wrath of nature is just reflection

Of my fragments that created imprints

Within my being that stands steadfast 

Even in the darkest days of my existence.


Details | Rhyme | |

Entwinement

Bleeding around me are empty faces
Sad, drooping spaces, crumpled places
Melancholy for the light of new places
Stuck in time, frozen in time
The pangs of lonesome fill their sagging hearts
Frowning forever, frowning forever
Let me stare blankly at the stained wall
Nothing at all…nothing at all

The mind is a scary place 
The mind is a distraction
From the reality ever binding
Curbing every reaction
The mind is overwhelming
The mind is oh so sad
When we turn to larvae and graves
It’s an never-ending...
Entwinement 

Found myself looking through the tiny hole in the wall
Watching you fall, watching you fall
Scared for the neck that would break us all
You shuddered my blood…shuddered my blood
I met the eyes of the souls of your feet
Twitching and swinging…unfeeling…unfeeling
Please allow me this sole ease:
Just be with me... lie with me

The mind is a scary place 
The mind is a distraction
From the reality ever binding
Curbing every reaction
The mind is overwhelming
The mind is oh so sad
When we turn to larvae and graves
It’s an everlasting...
Entwinement

-inspired by Mad World by Gary Jules-
-also inspired by the stop motion film: The Man in the Lower-Left hand Corner of the Photograph-


Details | Lyric | |

To Be With You

I should have held on tighter
When I had you in my grasp
For now I’m just a distant fading 
Memory in your past
My smile can hide the sadness
My tears are wiped away
But all this pain I feel inside
I live with day by day 
The pathway to my heart
Is just a worn and beaten track
But till I have you by my side 
I’ll just keep running back
You left me with a memory
That no one else can steal
But left me with a heartache
No one else can ever heal
What lies in my future now
What am I to do
How can I be happy
When in life I don’t have you
My heart just aches completely
Every hour every day
It’s only when I’m with you
That this pain will go away
I know I have to let you go
Instead of holding on
For you were never mine
To me, you never did belong
Bottled up inside me 
Are the words I've never said
Feelings that I've never shown
Lines you never read 
I want to live my life with you
Tomorrow and today
For better and for worse
Beside you all the way
To be there when you need me
Until this world is through
And when our time is over
I will spend the end with you...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Free verse | |

Truth

The truth leaks out
Standing there like a frail child
Taking the hands of the elder
Looking through the glass of lonesome
And seeing what rings real
Seeing what feels true
This gash in my heart mends
At the thought of you
But it never truly heals
Stranded in the wasteland of my mind
Brushed by burning cold winds
I fear there are no blinds over you
I fear you will see it
The flaws
The very flaws I use to stitch myself
Locked up inside all of these years
Shadows ready to be freed
Only to be followed by greed
The skies have lost all color
Through the stitching
Truth bleeds
Truth hurts so bad

The truth is I love you
But why am I so sad? 

I can't say a word
My feet are firmly planted on larvae
They slowly eat me away
Hoping I will be gone in time
Before you see
Before you see the truth
I don't want you to see
Perhaps if you only knew
That I love you
Perhaps you wouldn't have to open your eyes


Details | Rhyme | |

Hand in hand

I dont think people will understand
how i'd love to walk along the beach with you
hand in hand
as we walk under the sunny skies
i'd turn and gaze  into your beautiful eyes
i'd tell you you are special and that  i'd give love a chance
but in my heart i know you'd never give me a second glance
I care about you so much
but accept it will never be
as i dont think you feel the same way as me
but if one day you feel that you  care too
you know i will be there just waiting for you
the journey has been long and on you
 i will never give up
I just keep looking to the Lord
when all seems lost  he keeps filling my cup
he will keep me strong in the time to come
for i know his will be done.  Amen 


 not my will but yours he said, 

  what will be will be God knows what is meant to be. may ther Lord have his way in your life and may every spirtual blessing be yours. 

for my friend, who has been hurt so many times and is just holding back on this one chance of happiness  ,  may God bless you and give you strength and courage to face each day may he be with you and comfort you in all that you do and just bring his peace to you.  Amen  




Details | Rhyme | |

Face Of A Beggar Child

FACE OF A BEGGAR CHILD

I saw your tear-stained face O’ child
It swam before my eyes at night
I clearly saw your life’s struggle,
Your painful hunger pangs and fright.

In my dreams I could clearly see
Your shredded clothes and unkempt hair.
At such a tender age O’ child,
On your face it was all written there.

No one to care for you my child
No one to call your very own.
No mother nor father to call you son, 
No siblings to call you come hither bro’.

I wondered how you came to be
In such a distressed way of life
Each day you have to beg for alms
And face the world’s rage and strife.

Were you the victim of natural disaster,
Like quake or floods epidemic or plague.
Or was it due to human vices
Like war or bloody bath of  death.

Were you  lost in busy hustle of life,
Was it all due to human greed.
Were you the fruit of sin and tossed,
Amidst dirty dustbin where dogs came to feed.

Your tear-stained face swims before my eyes,
And asks me how it came to be.
That  God created all humans alike,
But gave them different destiny.

Oh God, this your humble servant,
Asks you just one small question.
If there are so many tear-stained faces present,
Why Mother Teressa was only one.


Details | Free verse | |

Beautiful as Daisies

She was Rachel, beautiful as her name and in all ways.
In innocence, caught up in “grown up, worldly things
Folks who knew her laughed it off took is as if a joke
At a loss to grasp the deeper meaning behind it all
Her parents were alarmed and sought to reinforce their rules
But it seemed it was too late to remedy this state
It’s so hard to understand how this change came about
One moment she was their baby, the next, a stranger in their midst
This tragedy could not have been any part of God’s plan
Lost, running away, leaving behind comfort and warmth
She, instead would hitch-hike her way to live as a stray
Rachel and her friends never envisioned the many dangers
For lack of better judgment, with her life she would pay
He seemed like an average “Joe”, wearing a jacket of softest leather
She thought, ‘He’s hot and dressed fine; no way could he be whack’
Inexperience and temperament silently urged her on
Repressed anger held fast as she played a game of dice
She’d been waiting at the gas station just off Route Seventy Seven 
Many hours past, as she mulled over random thoughts
Cold, tired and hungry, it was getting late as panic took a seat

Contn'd Pg. 2


Details | I do not know? | |

Why

As I remain here where I lie,
I keep asking that I will quickly die.
 
I hate this stupid self-centered life,
where all people are filled with hate & strife.

As my mom feels so wonderful from popping pills, 
I'm stuck here with the worst gut-wrenching feeling that kills.

I'm sick of my life being filled with tears, cutting, & sadness.
Why can't we just end all the madness?

Why can't people have a life where no tears are seen, only laughs, smiles, & happiness.
And no one could intervene?


Details | Verse | |

THERAPY

There are no lies to be written
Real life is how it's read
What I write is the honest truth
No more regrets
I've been pushed 
I've been shoved
Straight in the gut 
Where my heart bleeds out the love
No bandage around 
To patch it up
Pressure more pressure against me
On the floor bleeding
No help to come save me
Pain creeps around the room 
On the floor I try to breathe
Therapy
Need the therapy
Read this aloud 
Know what I'm about
Feel my pain
Read it
Look at my face 
Be it
I get up on my feet
Love still dripping
Someone help me!
I can't see
Therapy
Need the therapy
As I open my eyes
I see plain white bright walls
Around me 
I'm strapped
Noticed I'm patched
What happened to me?
I sit there and wonder 
Why me? Is this my fantasy?
This is what therapy put on me


Details | Prose Poetry | |

a fair day

It was a fair day for silence.

The sun had risen up courtly, almost mechanically,
Like a marionette on the strings of a puppeteer.
With the sun came Heat, wrathful to have been woken at such an hour.
As if avenging its early rise, 
Heat caused oppression, 
Discomfort and confusion 
Upon the innocent day.

It was a fair day for exclusion.

Only one was oblivious to the relentless heat,
He sat there motionless, lifeless and corpse-like.
They would glance at him nonchalantly.
He was just a piece of the scenery, 
Always had been there, 
Always would be there, 
Invisible.

It was a fair day for neglect.

Some say once he had been aware,
But life had hollowed him out, 
Left him a shell, 
Unmoving, 
Unblinking.
The day progressed, the light dimmed, 
It was as if fate and destiny had led him to this moment.
If anyone had cared to look, they may have noticed a glint in his eye.
He liked the sunset.

It was a fair day for an end.

The sun slowly made its way back home.
Heat gradually left, bored with the sun’s absence.
Silence was once more.
The sun closed its eyes. 
The moon began its regime over the obeying night sky.

It was a fair day for sweet nothing.

He still sat there, 
But no one knew.
So was he still alive, 
If no one saw him die?


Details | Rhyme | |

The Illusion of Magic

It's the empty spaces
That we long to fill
It's our lifelong dreams
Lying unfulfilled

The apathy takes hold
The caring ceases
A semblance of a normal life
Lies at our feet in pieces

When the magic no longer amazes
And charm has all but died
Nothing left to hold onto but hope
And give it another try


Details | Free verse | |

GRANNY

On hearing your death
What creep in my head was
Akon's Pot of Gold
Its melody within heart
You have served your purpose
So Rest in Peace
Born to Love
But it enslaved and betrayed
And onwards you pressed
Your foils nurtured your old age
As strong as you were
Your battle on the thin line
You won hands down
I admire You
Last week I saw and greeted 
You were fit
What an awesome recovery
Indeed your Maker wiped your tears
But now it is finished
Well done
As a kid I run onto your bosom on visits
Then rained on me praises
But I lost contact
Next I saw you on life’s field of war
Then despised, not long
I grew wise to know
For with time all will grow
Was in turn and showered care
Hope you recognized
Thanks for your Blessings
My half seed of lineage
May God lay you to a Peaceful rest
Where Love will search to find you
Your foils cry
Swollen red are our fragile eyes
Thousand thorns within our hearts
Pain abounds here
May your Spirit comfort us
Smile down once again
Smile down once again
Memories well built would be well kept
Strong willed, Religious, Grateful 
Lord we are thankful
Yours forever
A Single Parent's sweat lay to Rest in Peace.

©Kofi Asokwa-Nkansah


Details | Rhyme | |

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love?

How can we hurt the very ones that we love?
How can we easily neglect our God above?

It seems like I often heard about many victims
Many times, it’s from a loved one who’s been with them!

The hate and the anger that boils from deep within.
Often “boils over” toward our family and friends.

It’s the love of Christ that we need to find!
His love can totally cleanse our life and mind!

The hearts of many families are bruised and broken.
By the harshness of many of the words spoken.

If we would allow Jesus to rule and reign.
We’d have little reason to murmur or complain.

If we would yield our lives to the master’s will…
The emptiness and brokenness, he shall fulfill!

If we could allow ourselves to sit at Jesus’ feet…
He can make any family totally complete!

If we could just listen to what Christ has to say.
His words of life would brighten our day!

As a family…  Won’t you give HIM a chance?
And allow his love to change your circumstance!

Won’t you allow his spirit to bind you together?
You can experience his peace today and forever!

He can change your family throughout!
This is his will and what God is all about!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Caught In The Black Rain

She's caught in the black rain, emotions are swimming in darkness, as the
 acid rain impairs her vision; within the depth her soul she's unable to find goodness.

The falling black rain has her mind in a state of confusion, murder is no longer
 an ill illusion, actions has drawn it's fatal conclusion.

Upon her the black rain fell bringing misery with pain, living life in vain, constantly
 seeing loss with no gain, and her mental health is far from being sane.

Few have already seen the devastating effects of falling black rain, it's aftermath
 makes the sanest go insane, and those who survive the storm their lives will
  never go back to being simple nor plain.

Falling black rain is a storm formed from mental pain, financial strain, loss with
 no gain, and living life in vain.

Though, in my theory of goodness lies this conclusion," Things that we see as 
 being favorable unto living life is nothing more than our ill illusions," and there-
   fore it's causing us an in-depth state of confusion.


Details | Verse | |

A Safe Place

I wander the night
Afraid to stand still
Home is not safe
The air holds a chill

My eyes flit around
Darting like mice
Watching wearily
My hands feel like ice

I shiver and chitter 
From more than just cold
My feet shuffle slowly
Fear barely controlled

I finally reach it
A place that’s secure
Cold, dark and uncomfortable
But I will endure


Details | Couplet | |

Marble in Columns on Green

On a slope graced with green
White marble stands in proud salute

For beneath these engraved pillars of memory
Lie the resting places of heroes

A solitary green fir looks down
As if sheltering the lost and the taken

So many names, from all walks of life
A father, brother a girlfriend or wife

On a sunny day, they glow radiant like their lives
On a dull day, they stand out against the greys

For the living, life goes on 
Tomorrow is another day


Details | Rhyme | |

Have You Been Hurt By Religion

Have You Been Hurt By “Religion”?

Are you tired of “religious people”
 knocking at your door?
You wish they’d leave...  “You can’t take it anymore!”

Have you been hurt by “church people” sometime in the past?
Somehow they hurt you...  And the pain continues to last…

Have you been “wounded” by something
 somebody has said?
Perhaps you wonder if “they wish you were dead…”

Perhaps there’s someone that you 
may have “befriended…”
They have done something that
 has hurt you and “offended.”

There’s probably many people that you wish would “go away.”
Because of something they’ve 
done to “darken your day.”

I’ve been there many times…  Believe me I know.
How someone’s actions or words can hurt your soul.

Even those who go to church are 
often not very kind.
And they don’t hesitate to 
give you “a piece of their mind.”

Religion is not the answer.  Look to Jesus 
and the life he gives!
He alone has the power to love
 and completely forgive!

It’s only in his shed blood that you can find atonement.
He can change your life now!  This very moment!

He can heal your broken heart and wounded spirit.
An everlasting joy and love...  He freely gives it!

He can do what no “church” or “religion” could ever do
He can restore your life today.  
And make you BRAND NEW!!!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Hypochristians

They say to worship to get back into church
That all I need do is fall to my knees and repent
Then all this personal pain he will prevent
To kneel and pray to “The Soveriegn God”
Well, my knees are bruised and scabbed 
Where is this God of yours I ask
Guess I’m not really a fan of his work
As I walk through this existence 
Sufferring is all I see
War in the desert neverending
Children dying so young
Little boys and girls raped by the clergy
Destruction Hate Crimes against humanity
Where is this God of yours I ask
They say Christianity is the way 
Well, bullsh!t! That’s what I say.


Details | Free verse | |

Grieving Goodbye

One step I go back, and
I see you holding my hands...
With a smile, walking down the lanes.
Yesterday I acquainted me in you
When your hands grabbed mine in your fears
With such reliance, allaying down the pains.
And Today when I stood still
I saw myself lost in despair
When my hands sorely waved you goodbye.

Another step I go back, and
I see you resting on my shoulder
With an ease, breathing  out all your whimseys.
Yesterday I held myself in you
When you hugged me in your tenderness
With such peace, grieving away all the hearsays.
And Today when I fastened myself
I felt I betrayed your trust
When my arms direly opened to free your life.

Further I stepped to go back, and
I see you lying up on me abreast
With an intimacy, desiring all your fondness.
Yesterday I mellowed my soul in yours'
When you lusted me in your reverences
With such warmth, melting down all the iciness.
And Today when I lie down
I realized I burnt my essence
When my deity hollered out to coffined my soul.

Yet I wanted to go back, and
I see my shadow fading out slowly under the daylight
With such isolation, deafing all those mirthful moments.
Yesterday I was in a state of solitude
Till I acquainted with your heart and soul
With such reliance, peace and warmth, gratifying all forbearance.
And Today I am back, where I was
I raged as it was hard to believe
When my heart panicked to say you GOOD-BYE.


Details | Rhyme | |

emo for no emotions? or for emotions?

The emotions that i feel inside
are like nothing that i've had when i'm alive
Most of the time i hide myself in darkness
and I feel as if i drown in coldness

The days surpass me like never before
with joy and happiness knocking at my door

I ignore them and go on 
i go on as if there's nothing wrong
I am in the dark with no sense of feeling
trying to not lie to those around me

They ask if they can help in any way
I say that i am fine
When actually i have millions of things inside my mind

They say emotions are just things people feel
when actully it can also be actions

Teens cut themselves and claim they are emos
when they really have more friends than foes
Can emo be for emotional for those who can't understand
what they hold dear to them everyday "hand-in-hand"?

Times can be rough
but that doesn't mean that you can act all tough

What does emo mean to you?
can you not see those who love you and me?
No emotions or emotions,
you can't pick both,
you see?

Don't try to be who yu want to be 
just be yourself
And that applies to you and me


Details | I do not know? | |

Drunken Loneliness


   




Details | Rhyme | |

Beyond My Mind

Blue or green? The color of the sea, Going up and down the waves, To be my unexpected mood, Sweet or sour the feeling of me. The question of my mind hitting it through the divine, The passion of art inside a deep mind, With full of imaginations, Hitting me through left and right. Perspective comes along with me, Seeing it in my mind, Looking at the blank paper, My emotions run down the pages, Forgetting my visions along, Looking down on paper, Loosing my focus , Is getting hard to draw. Speaking with my wild heart wide open, Thinking of the world we live in today, Standing amongst the people not knowing what to say, Hearing the music flowing into my ears, Beating myself inside these walls of hate, Wanting my eyes to cry with full of tears, Hating to be on this earth, Seeing people fade away, Sinking through lies in my face, Stabbing me in the back when I need them the most, Seeing people with unwanted faith through their eyes, Anger comes my way, Looking down at the world with full of questions in my head, Going crazy with frustration and confusion of me questioning God, Deep inside my heart is burning with poison, Is breaking me apart like glass, At peace without a path in mind, Falling down somewhere here that I never belong, I'm not perfect yet, I like to lead not to follow others. Life is like a tree that grows inside me, Leafs on the tree come and go like people in my life, Taking the road of life, Things can change in a minute, When I look away, My goals would fade away, Going back letting noting stand on my way, Trying harder to focus on my goals, Looking around with a smile on, Reaching my goals slowly without a distraction.


Details | I do not know? | |

In This Dark Corner

In this dark corner
Of this dark room,
I sit in the shadows,
I sit in the doom.
I see a light,
A light right ove there,
I cannot reach it.
No longer its there.
In this large group,
Of people I love,
I feel so alone,
Like everyones above.
This isnt a choice,
Of choices its not.
To be sad and depressed
I just think a whole lot.
Through my mind runs some thoughts,
Thoughts of rough times,
The times times of great hurt,
The times of great crimes.
Crimes done unto me
Seems jail would be fitting.
"Oh stop being sad,
Your overreacting."
Though stopping I cant,
Its not my control.
I guess I can try.
Cause its getting old.
If your life is bad,
Well, heck, so is mine.
If yours is so bad 
Keep down, dont shine.
I'm scared for us all.
For the world that is.
We are all dead,
Only a few people live.
No one can change.
Not even me.
Cause lifes filled with misery,
hurt, death, not glee.
Listen up now,
I have something to say.
If this all is ending,
Its ending today.
In this dark corner,
Of this dark room,
I sit in the shadows,
I sit in the doom.


Details | Rhyme | |

Just a Thought

Always around 
slightly small mostly black
think of my kids 
that's what holds me back
cracks in my heart 
such a delicate shell
tears fill my eyes 
my eyes start to swell
try to be a new me 
no drugs no liquor
now my eyes open wide 
more reasons to pull the trigger
thought it was real 
did you mean what you said
starting to see the truth 
make the target my head
holding back so much pain 
but still some leaks out
no one to talk to 
feel better with cold metal in my mouth
no peace in my soul
it will not rest
another thought comes to mind
aim straight for my chest
even then I cry
thinking of taking a last breath
seriously thinking without me
would the children be best
feeling like a criminal
I've committed no theft
here is a person that's broken
I have nothing left
I'll walk away now 
before I do something stupid
stop leaving it around
one day I might use it
no, no.... I can't
gotta remember my babies
this is a silent prayer I'm tormented
God please save me


Details | Free verse | |

Beautiful as Daisies

Contn'd from Pg 1

So she called out to the stranger and asked for a ride
Snow had fallen heavily and already piled three feet high
When she climbed into the four-wheel truck never giving it another thought
Before he headed down the highway, he went into a crowded bar
Intuition nudged her, ‘get out now, turn back!’ But pride urged her, 'stay'
He returned with a brown bag; appearing harmless as he turned to her
‘Say, you’re trembling!’ He said and flashed a breathless smile
‘Here, have a slug, of this, it’ll warm you up, pretty girl!’ 
Hesitation loomed for a minute then she accepted the bag from his hand
Young Rachel, was now treading a path beyond thin, cracking ice 
As tears stung her beautiful eyes, she'd never had a drink this strong
How her vacant tummy rebelled against the searing burn
Nausea arose from deep within, and she began to have regrets
Registering strong protest, her regurgitation would later accuse her killer
Her faith was sealed as there were no open doors left for escape
And before she realized he had made a reckless wide left turn
Down the snow covered dirt path through tall pines and fir
No longer were there sightings of sparsely lit farm houses 
Interspersed along the desolate, picturesque landscape 
The four-wheeler tackled with ease, snow drifts of fresh fallen snow
Where the following spring young Rachel's body would be discovered
That night Rachel laid buried under a few feet of snow
She was at rest now to awaken to eternity in sunny fields 
Beautiful as daisies growing in heaven, carefree and endlessly in bloom!

~*~

For:  Rachel..R.I.P.




Details | Rhyme | |

Take Me Away

I dream in darkness.
I sleep to die.
Erase my sorrow.
Erase my lies.
Our burning ashes,
Blacken the day.
A world of nothingness.
Take me away.


Details | Bio | |

I Close My Eyes

I close my eyes
And back home I am
Looking out those
Century old windows
My inner tears
Would burst a dam

I remember every crack 
In those walls,
Every floor board
Prone to creak
But the happiness
I had there,
Is something I can
now but seek...

Home of fifty years
Saw my tears and my joy
From infancy to adulthood
And the blessed life I'd had there
Since I was but a boy

A place where several
Family members had died
In the old fashioned way
And all those tears I cried...

Not in some remote hospital,
But where they wanted to be
And I'd suely love to die there,
If it was up to me..

But, it was my destiny
To come here, 
In this desolate place
Certainly I'm not that happy
But it's something I must face

I made a mistake,
I should have died there
Where I had lived so happily
And now, I barely care,
What becomes of me
My life is over
Save but a bit of love,
Still directed at me
And each day I wonder,
What do these people see in me?


Details | Rhyme | |

Clear as day

Love hath tasted of arsenic lips
ground thy soul upon treacherous hips
opened vessels with anemic blood
bathed in a teared river of mud

yet loneliness fills a desires plate
tis the companion of Poe's fate
lips sparkled of potent ale
lovely neck a shade too pale

empty bottles of friendship lied
drunken souls hang head to side
looking for sadness as their pride
lest the poet's pen be his bride

etched in darkness, the devil's queen
horrid tragedy with beauty unseen
liquid scents perfume thy mind
splashing eyes tearfully blind...


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmare

Rest is a requirement,
for all,
in order to have this,
sleep is a must,
after a day’s of hard work,
wherein sleep is a must,
for all,
to freshen up the next day,
though the mind goes to sleep,
and the body follows suit,
the subconscious mind awakens,
and in lie,
a number of dreams,
awaiting you,
the dream,
that always reigns in my mind,
is the death of my wife, 
not once,
but more than a couple of times,
why does this dream,
often arise in my mind,
is the answer I seek,
is it because of the love we have towards one another,
or is it the compassion for each other,
or is it in relation of serving one another, 
or is it a kind of warning,
a warning to take care in the future, 
some people may call this as the sixth sense,
while I call this a nightmare,
as nightmares are really scary,
yes, nightmares are quite scary indeed, 
if you do agree with me or not!!

From:-Mr.Manu Nair (dated 19th November, 2012)


Details | Blank verse | |

Alien

When the earth crumbles Into something foreign and Suffocates me—dead Like a spider in the water, I realise what has been bothering me all along: It is my own mortality A distant song A bad fatality A cool, unopened telephone A modern dial What’s the use in trying To make life what it will never be A pleasure is not what life is about Because around you people are dying And there’s no time for crying So what is there to do When the earth crumbles Into something foreign and Suffocates me so that I’m foreign, too And everyone around me is foreign—dead —Alive—wishing to be dead—wishing to be alive- Wanting to give What we don’t have to give, Like a man inclined to drink himself to death On an evening like every other evening On a night like every other night - I take the shining bullet That my father left behind Because what use is there to live In an alien world where everyone is alien to everyone And wishing to break free, not to be alien Not to be sinners but to regain redemption We’re all so sorry for what we have done When the earth crumbles Into something foreign And suffocates me again so that I am dead And the bullet that has often shined doesn’t seem to shine so much any more, I will escape all that is alien by shooting myself in the brain And hope that death is not alien When I have always suspected that death is the same


Details | Elegy | |

Moon Walk on Your Grave

Moon Walk on Your Grave

A life begun in stardom,
now, ending up in shame.
Relentless media, cruel world,
who then is there to blame.

A sadness inside,
no tears on your face.
The pain all but over,
mass confusion erase.

In wonder we watch,
can a life be explained?
Can't surface your agony,
under facade you remained.

Let's focus on the talent,
musical joy that you gave.
In peace now I pray,
moon walk on your grave.

© Rene' Brady 2009


Details | Tanka | |

This lonely little hovel

The grainy half dusk, 
when the sun gives her last wink.
Hours spent in thought 
to leave the safe sanctity.
This lonely little hovel


Details | Narrative | |

Shut Your Dirty Mouth

Tonight I thought I shook off a roach. Swore I felt it approach. Imagined it crawling down
my throat. My Dad came out from the den and asked What’s Wrong? I said, Nothing, I’m fine
when I still felt bits of dead roach nesting in my spine. That’s Divine.

I feel the Holy Spirit in me tonight. Jesus Christ! I must have done right! Don’t come
near me, I’m contaminated, clearly. Oh, God, need me! So that the sky doesn’t turn black
every time I look up to seek your advice. My chips are stacked, I’ve got them wracked.
Roll the dice six six six every time. On my Dime. I think I may have crossed the line.
Maybe I’m sick. Maybe I’m not hip to this.

Maybe I just need to settle down. Take a breath. Take a pill. Sit real still. Stare until
I become comatose blare my music so loud that my eyes become brazen and I can’t hear what
you’re saying.

Do roaches bite? I wonder at night. As I hide beneath the covers that used to shield us
from one another. Protect us from the evils in this world, bring no harm to little girls.
Now they just cover up old condoms and dirty food crumbs.

Numb. Numb. Numb. Can’t move. Limbs feel numb, limbs feel wrung, limbs feel slung,
stammering and slurring like grandma after her stroke.

This is a joke. The world’s a joke. We’re a joke.

Then why aren’t we laughing? Why aren’t we guffawing until our paws fall off, our mittens
become smitten and we cough up our dirty lungs with joy.

Oh boy, here I go again. If this is a joke why aren’t we laughing? Why aren’t we guffawing
until our paws fall off, our mittens become smitten and we cough up our dirty lungs with joy.


Details | Lyric | |

Buried Myself Alive

can you remember the time i let you in?
the time i showed you my heart?
the time i shared my soul with you?
the moment i poured out my blood when you needed it?
The second i saved your life?
The hour i saved you from your darkest secret?
The minute where you watched me bury myself alive?
Remember the time when you almost made me cry?
the time i made it a game to play your game?
the day i had my own time and took advantage of myself?
the hour it took to shut you out and let you go away for a long time?
well your going to have to ask nicer than that 


Details | ABC | |

GoodBye

                               GOODBYE

I miss the way you hugged me when I cried and how you told me how you loved me 
every night but now you won't even look at me and you don't even talk to me 
anymore and when I'm upset you just laugh and walk away........... All I want to 
know is what did I do that was so bad that you treat me like a punching bag........ I 
miss the way you kissed me but I guess you've moved on and I try boy do I try but 
your all I dream about all I think about is you, you were my world and now your 
gone I'm so lost without you I cry every night because someone will say your 
name....... What I miss most of all is that I could tell you anything but now you won't 
even listen.............. What kills me is you saying goodbye for good goodbye god 
those words kill me every time good bye good bye good bye....


Details | Rhyme | |

They Tell Me

Smile they tell me
Laugh, they tell me
Look up, they tell me
I'm scared
You're loved, they tell me
Encircled, they tell me
Not lonely, they tell me
Unprepared
I'm worthless, so tell me
Just why they tell me
I'm loved.. oh? Tell me
Just why
I'm shaking and lonely
Lost and not homely 
A tear in my eye,
This sky
Is calling upon me
Is falling upon me
It's downing upon me,
In the dirt 
Life's hopeful, they tell me
"I didn't mean that", they tell me
"It doesn't matter," I say, 
"it hurt"


Details | I do not know? | |

My Dad

It never quits
My dad's h i t s
I see myself in the mirror
And I am to become
But I just go numb
It hurts to see
What all he has done to me
It never fails
When he hears me wail
It never quits
My dad's h i t s


Details | Blank verse | |

Turning ...

I turned around
     in the rain
misty haloed street lamps
shadowed you
     drizzled

I turned around
     in my sadness
to see moments of we
fog smoggy
    not in truth I don’t think

I turned around
     in your leaving
clarity spilling from eyelashes
wondering
     if you were simply a
state of mind


Details | Shape | |

Layers Of The Ocean

.      .     I   .    .      .      .        .       I      .     .     .     .     .    G    .           .              .
          P    N                                M    L                             U    H
       P          E                          S         E                         A         T
   A                S                    .                S                   L               E                  .
H                      S             .                        .            .                      R            .
                             .     .                                .    .                              .    .

..................................A surfaced "Happily Ever After"...........................................

      
RESENTMENT.          .            .      DENIAL     .          .        .      REGRET       .         .

.......................................Forgave, but wont forget...............................................


PRETENDING .            .           .  LOST HOPE .        .        .        .   LIES .        .        .     

.......................................Crying as my heart prys.................................................


PAIN    .        .         .       .        .    HURT     .      .          .         BURNING        .            

.......................................A lifetime of yearning........................................................

SCREAMING  .        .          .       DECIEVING     .        .          .  BLEEDING        .          

.........................................Forever dissapearing ......................................................

.            .        .      D r a g g e d    U n d e r   T h e   T i d e          .           .          .           

..............................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................................
                                                                   
 S . L . O . W . L . Y 
   
D
  R                        .                            .                     .                     .                    .
    O
      W
         N 
            I                 .                           .                          .                          .
              N
                 G


Details | Haiku | |

Fragments

in - pie - ces why must you be in fragments? take me pl— ease me in- to the pangs of oppression let me ROT in fragments i trust you'll be whole again while I break


Details | Ballad | |

She Cried

       She cried, She died inside over and over again, She was trapped in herself 
and she had no way of escaping. Taking drugs to dull the mud that's been in her 
eyes 
for years. She's so far away from reality that it's like she is constantly 
sleeping. 
She has to remind herself what's fictional and what's fact because the 
hallucinations wouldn’t  let her breath, they’d lie to her every chance she gets. 
Turning her mom into a monster not butterflies suddenly this high becomes a 
nightmare. One she had been fighting for so long, 16 and still traveling the same 
rode as so many younger than her. She didn't listen to all the voices that tried to 
tell her what she was missing because truly reality is the thing that makes life 
worth living. To her reality was the guy who had raped her constantly when she was 
young, Why choose reality when you could live in a dream world where everything had 
excuses. Not only could she not recognize the girl who cried constantly in the 
mirror but she'd done so many things to herself that even her eyes were a different 
color. 
It hurt so bad not to remember so she continued to fade until soon it seemed 
better. 
In an idiotical world where there were always smiles, It wasn't until she got help 
that she realized the real world was never always pleasant. It was filled with hate 
and lies and pain but that's something real and something she needed to face. 
Something she needed to open her eyes to, life would never be cake and she couldn't 
have her victory without tasting poison at least once. So when the tears dried and 
the wounds healed she signed up for a special thing a thing called GED and she got 
it.


Details | Free verse | |

Lies

LIES

A web that has no ending
For I can not stop 
Even though I try
Something is wrong with me
Because my judgement is blinded
And I can not see
Every time I make the promise
To quench the desire to mislead
It only adheres for a short moment
Until the web starts to bleed 

The deciet of my words
My voice has no truth
It is an addiction 
A never ending piercing thorn
It is like a paper cut 
That always hurts to the touch
And I am that paper cut
That hurts everyone I touch

Why can't I control this monster inside
It is destroying my very being
It is grasping my loved ones by the heart
Tearing their view of me completely apart
I wish that this was just a dream
That this is not as bad as it seems
And that I am not pushing everyone away

Acceptance is my aime
To be looked upon higher
Eventhough, I have everything I have always visioned
This thing still wants to feed 
I have tried so many times to depress it
So many promises and pleads
To the one above
Whom I know that shows only love
The one who can crush this irritating bug

It yearns so badly to come alive
That I can not contain it
Eventually, it slowly engulfs my soul
Like fumes from a old kerosene heater
Taking away my breath

Some days I try to start a fresh
But, within hours and without even knowing 
Out comes my darkened words
My mind has no control
I Have No Control
Only Lies have Control



Details | I do not know? | |

Addiction

This feeling dragging myself to the lowest standards 
the horrible feeling of being ruled by the man who has me face down on the mat
and when i give in,, the craving go into the deep dark abyss..
i only see one way out and the cold steel is in my hands,,,,
playing Russian roulette with my emotions..
not knowing when my next craving is going to hit me over the head.....



But then i realize that i have a purpose on this earth,, and i don't have to give in to
"the father of all lies" and that i do have a way out, and i do have people who love me
so what can i do??

Let the pen bleed out onto the papers who have no way of judging my defects of character

and take it one day at a time


Details | Rhyme | |

Drop the ocean and lift the sky

Drop the ocean, lift the sky, Today seems like a goodbye, Memories of your voice forever linger. Drink the potion, get me high, Tears start to multiply , You wouldn't even try to lift a finger. Cast the demons, out of here, Lift me up, I have no fear, Show you what it means to say I love you. Wake me up, grab a beer, Fill my cup, and shed a tear , My love for you has always been this true. Drain the ocean , engulf the land, Time to focus , begin again, Learn to live without you by my side. Convey the notions, my own brand, Revolve my life, and take a stand, Without you , I know, I will be alright. Ring the bell, Sound the horn, Today i have been reborn, I can do this all on my own. Rise the fell, Mend the torn, Persevere through all the scorn, My , look at how much you have grown. Drop the ocean , lift the sky, Today seems like a goodbye, Memories of your voice forever linger.


Details | Free verse | |

Healing a bleeding rose

A soul weeps in flesh for the pain I left behind.
 I am sorry for the pain,the tears, I left for you to bear. 
These healing words I send with a bumble bee to heal a bleeding rose. 
These napkin like words I pray can wipe your tears and snotty nose.
 I was young and naive,I cherished my pride instead of your heart . 
There the coldest winter did start. 
If it makes you happy I disposed of the mistress. 
Who faded in long lost memory of shadowed kisses.
 No,no,no I am sorry for writing that,
its a poets bold habit of honesty,
but in writing this I thought i should be honest and honest I shall be.I apologize for leaving your emotions suppressed,unknown and ostracized. 
Yes, I know the ocean swollen with your tears,the angels descended on a bloody battle field to  hear your cry.I hope you can summons them again and reconsider the report to the almighty farther. 
If I could write this apology in the eye of the sky I would,for my remorse to be seen , a once foolish human being .Your heart I didn't mean to decay. I apologize for the lies, cries,for making you eat sadly all those ice creams and soggy apple pies,from absorbing tears fallen from yours eyes. Left to wonder in the vastness of the universe alone. I am sorry also sorry for the smudged ink and some of the lines. I cried along with them, imaging your painful times.


Yours truly Elliott Bowe 
To:Simone Descartes


Details | Ballad | |

The girl

See the girl living on the streets? does anyone know she is there,
Do you see that girl down in the dumps? and does anyone care.
We don't know the reason that she left her home and do any of us want to know?
She's out in all weathers without any covers in rain, hail and snow.
Does anyone wonder if she's ever lonely when we're all tucked up in our beds,
when she's wet and cold,  and we're warm and cosy does it ever enter our heads.
She might have been beaten when her home she left, she's sad and she's lonely and often bereft. 


Does anyone see me alone on the streets? trying to smile at all that I meet,
asking for pennies for a warm cup of tea, we're not all on drugs, at least not me.
I'm trying to avoid going down that road I try to remember the things I've been told.
Stories of people lying in the gutter, and people passing by all of a mutter.
Do they care, what they see there? I suppose they think it's everywhere !
But I would like to say to all of you . I don't take drugs, I'm one of the few.
So to all of you sat home by your fires, spare a thought for me,
when you pass me by tomorrow, I'd love a cup of tea.


Details | Tanka | |

In Her Cups

at peace but alone
a feeling wholeness lingers
pondering the space
where once there was tea for two
now there is but one cold cup




Details | Free verse | |

Pieces of Eternity (Seasons Finale)

Maybe it’s unacceptable 
Live a life capable of a true fable 
True friends never end 
But take you back to where it all began 
But hey misery gave us something to believe in 
Stress became a greater award as we achieved sin 
What could I say? Our savior died on a cross tough as pig skin 
Never once cried over the loss 
Forbidden fruit, Eden garden 
Excuse me, my lord, I beg your pardon 
And so what if these medics carry life in a carton 
But I ain’t trippin 
Simply because this is me until my dying day 
Please stop crying, you know I can’t stay 
I’m going to be the same until my dying day 
Over in that casket is where I’m trying to lay 
That’s right until my dying day 
True lost souls from the dark side 
Forever, we as mortals ride 
Peace is nothing, I fend for quiet time 
Rebels in riot lines 
Previous high school graduates 
Symbols of an adjective running toward fate 
True personality suffer the privilege of inmates 
How could you hesitate to ask 
There’s no stranger under this mask 
Lonely and unholy, who’s there to console me? 
I want to get away, forever restless 
You can see my similarities with the ocean 
I’m stress less 
Because this is me until my dying day 
Please stop crying, you know I can’t stay 
I’m going to be the same until my dying day 
Over in that casket is where I’m trying to lay 
My son, my friend 
We are but pieces of eternity 
Mesh on, mesh off 
Even at our best times we’re soft 
Who’s to say I’d regret my decision 
To lead a sinners life without God’s supervision 
On a one man mission 
And I know I don’t come around much 
Got my palms in reality 
Searching for something softer to touch 
Whisper in my ear, death makes me blush 
And Hell only flatters me 
One and one, through matter the winds scatter me 
I ain’t trippin, baby girl get off your knees 
You’re in the arms of a future me 
And I can’t see heaven from a distance 
Fire me over clouds like a piston 
Marching through blood 
But it’s all mud and water to Darkhouse 
Stand still let me mark my spouse 
Live my life as an outcast 
How could you even picture me at my last? 
Dear lord show some mercy on my followers 
Bless those that swallow dust to follow us 
No need to borrow sympathy 
Unforgiving sorrow made my enemies envy me 


Details | I do not know? | |

The Hidden Sadness Behind Her Eyes

From a distance she looks at peace, having fun doing her thing. But objects don't 
always appear the same from afar, if you take a deep look into someone's eyes it 
tells the story.

Her eyes once filled with hopes and dreams for the future full of happiness and 
joy. Her eyes now sit only filled with the tears and sorrows of her life fading, like 
the now dim twinkle that once shone so bright in her eyes.

If you look deep into her eyes, you notice the pain and torture she tries so hard to 
cover up. If you ever have the chance to see pass that shield that tries to cover up 
the pain in her eyes, you will see that her eyes are now empty.

Her eyes seem lifeless but in her mind she is being held a prisoner. Not 
knowing if things will get better. For every time she thinks she is at her lowest 
she finds out it is bottomless, like her cold, dark, empty, lifeless eyes.

She often wondered if it was really worth sticking it out, for if it wasn't to get better 
what was the point.

She stands in front of the mirror. Tears running from her eyes down her cheek to 
end at her heart. Her heart which is cold and frosted over.

She misses the happiness and joy she once felt, now she is numb and her heart 
beats no more. She looks deep into her own cold eyes with anger, knowing it is 
all her own fault why her sorry excuse of a life is this way.

She is tired of it all, she just wants it all to stop. She feels like her brain is about 
to explode. She just wants silence and to be free of this pain and torture.

She takes one last look into that mirror, deep into those empty eyes. She closes 
her eyes, her last tear rolls down her cheek. Her body trembles with anger.

She opens her eyes to notice them filled with anger and hate. She hated that 
person in the mirror more than anyone could imagine. Her fist clenched with 
furry, she smashed the mirror.

She looked at herself in the mirror on the floor. She was broken in a million 
pieces and knew she could never be put back together. She picked up the piece 
of glass that her eyes were upon. She then fell to the floor and lied in the 
shattered glass that was her life.

Her eyes are open. The pain and suffering is gone. She is released from the 
torturing hell that was her life. She is free now and the twinkle now forever back in 
her eyes.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Definition of Innocence part1

What is innocence
Is it a little boy 
that pulls his toy 
fire truck down the street
And it follows him on a string
As he dodges empty beer bottles
And crack needles
Wishing his toy.
had wings
Is it a little girl who dreams of tea parties 
And dolls
And in the next room her father hits her mom
And slams her against
Walls
Is it the kid who’s playing cops 
And robbers 
And finds his fathers gun
And suddenly it’s not so fun
What is innocence
Is it the American in his lazy boy
Watching American idol
As if it’s,  his idol
As his government bombs another village
Is it becoming aware of our obesity epidemic
As another child dies from an
Empty stomach
What is innocence
Is it venti coffee you buy for $4.99
To stay awake at work
As you push passed the homeless 
As you stand in line
And you clutch your quarters
And mutter,  this is mine
Is it teaching your family Jesus and love
As you yell…
Nuke those Muslim towel heads
Send them to,  hell

(continued in part 2)


Details | ABC | |

A Yearn for a Smile 9-21-11

	A yearn… simply something that you want or long for. As a yearn to finish, a yearn to achieve, a yearn for a like, a yearn for a smile is something that you drastically want, a desire. Something that you spend long hours, nights even day dreaming hours thinking about how you can earn that smile. What can you do…. or what can you say … things such as a conversation sparks, likes even dislikes, mostly anything that will crack a smile. These are things that truly show signs of something far greater than fame, sex, money, power. What is it? Something more than I have yet to find. So as I search for the answer I over shoot the entrance with rapid thinking of what she wants, her likes, her dislikes. But truly it will only be earned by who you are, what you want to be, yourself, your feelings your desires, your yearn. So when you yearn for that smile or that special something it can only be earned by being you, no one else. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and try to see past the makeup or tan or piercing and just look at yourself… then take that image and imprint it to yourself forever because to find happiness and your yearn  can only be earned one way. Trying to watch her and she how she reacts to certain things just to make myself seem better when I finally open my mouth to her will only make you distant from that special someone.  With me I personally see myself as buff pierced orange person, while trying to continue to follow the people who I look up to the most. So as you struggle and go through life’s trials and tribulations always look at your yearn or what it once it what was. Think about how you felt when you failed or succeeded and try to make yourself a better person from it. Not by adding more glamour or appeal to yourself but by being closer to yourself. What you really are. Because only then can you truly say you earned your yearn of a smile or that special someone, even if there not with you, apart of them will be and that’s the part they left. The part that made you better. More complete. 			So never forget your yearn of her..


Details | Lyric | |

Gotta Let Their Soul Cry

 Raped and Molestated in childhood, 
   Abused and Misused in pre-adulthood,
     Alone and confused they stood; feeling
       like tainted goods.

 Let their soul cry, maybe then; they can
  regain their pride. 

 They gotta let their soul cry

 Their darkest secret's they lock  away
   within, this is why their flesh constantly
    feast off sin; and everything in life has a
     beginning, but never render an ending.

 Let their soul cry, Crying is the only way to
  gain their piece of mind.
   
One might ask," Why"? Then , I will reply,"
  They need to see at least one day filled with
     promise rather than pain and see the sun
        without having rain.
     
 They gotta let their soul cry, before their sin
  cause their flesh to die.


Details | Couplet | |

I'm Sorry Part 1

I'm sorry that I'm always sad, 
That I do things to make you mad.

I'm sorry that I've lost my hope,
I'm sorry for the ways I cope.

I'm sorry that I bring you down,
I'm sorry that I make you frown.

I swear to God that you must believe,
I love you more than you can see.

I'm sorry that my heart is dying,
I swear to you that I've been trying.

I'm sorry that I cannot see,
much future left in front of me.

I'm sorry that I'm so depressed,
I realy know that I'm a mess.

Writing this note's made me see,
Just how much hurt I've made you grieve.

I'm so disgusted with myself,
I'm so damn bad for your good health.

I know that It's hard to admit,
I've made this such a long hard trip.

I feel like I have ruined your heart,
Like I have torn you all apart.

I have a question for you dear,
And, yes, your answere I do fear.

You said that you missed her big picture,
When you saw, you changed your fixture.

For your sake, love, please look at mine,
Before your heart's put on the line.

I'm sorry that I'm so impatient,
I'm just afraid life's not worth waiting.

I really don't want you to leave,
I want for us to both believe.

I want to once again find hope,
But it will be hard on my own.

But then again if I'm too much,
I don't want to kill all your love.


Details | Rhyme | |

In Her Skin

she's lost 
and she's hiding
worn from the battle she's fighting
never crying
but always wishing
that there's something big she's missing
she is here
but feeling hopeless
in the mirror she sees an ogress
feeling foreign
in her own skin
in every game she cannot win
she's scared
and she's shaking
while the cold, cruel world is waking
she is up- 
always awake
her biggest fear, her worst mistake


Details | Rhyme | |

Holding Back His Tears

Holding back his tears
In front of him, a soldier kneels
As the mourners look on saddened
Inside the little boy feels

To grow up without his father
As he grows up without his friend
To play ball with him in the park
When he needs him, so much to depend

To be there through out his school life
To make him oh so proud
But not to be there when he graduates
Clapping and shouting out loud

To be there when he gets married
Be a grandfather to his kids
At his fathers funeral he attends
His life in battle rid

In front the soldier kneels
Holding the Stars and Stripes
Presenting it to the little boy
Holding back his tears, from his eyes




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-2.php


Details | Blank verse | |

Yard Work

Yard Work

I worked with stern and determined face
attention on the end of the rake
the fresh grass and orange leaves.

Out of the corner of my eye
I saw a small bird huddled 
fixed against the drain pipe, 
its wings tight against its body. 
It didn't stir. 
I bent closer and
saw the milky film over its dark eyes.

A drape of sadness
was thrown callously over my morning.

I buried it quickly and carefully.
Time to take care to scrape away
the sharp rocks and hollow out a little place
deep enough to keep the dogs away and
with such care 
as I chose the final
home for this tiny thing.

It may have been taken away
to make room for another.
While I write this, several
months have passed and my throat
still tightens from the memory.

Sadness and loss is still with me
and with me for all the birds 
that fall
from their nests 
or the sky
every day 
from now until eternity.


Details | Rhyme | |

Boy on the Bridge

He was standing there alone on the bridge
He must have been about twelve years old.
I asked, "What are you doing here, lad?
It's very dark and kind of cold."
"I'm not supposed to be out this late at night
But my mom and dad are having a fight
So I'm on this bridge and I don't know why
Seems like all I do anymore is cry.
You don't know what it's like
To hear the shouting every day
I love my mom and dad
But they say things they shouldn't say
I have a sister and a little brother
And we are only learning how to hurt each other.
If I was granted any wish that I could think of
All I would want is a home filled with love
Maybe my mom and dad could find it in their heart
To forgive each other and make a brand new start
Then our lives would be like they should be
And I could dump these feelings that are haunting me
Thanks, mister for listening to me talk
Can you give me a ride home. I'm afraid to walk
If you hadn't stopped, I wouldn't have seen daylight
You see, I was going to jump off that bridge tonight."


      Sometimes a kind word or just listening for a few moments can make a 
difference in someone's life.


Details | Free verse | |

The Meaning Of Humankind

The Meaning Of Humankind

Forever people look for a complicated word
Years, decades and centuries they search
One sad word that gives meaning to humankind
Poets have written pages looking for the word
Singers sing their songs trying to find just the right word
Writers tell stories about the search for the word
Not one poem, song or story can find the perfect word
The perfect combination of letters and sounds
No one can find the one word that describes humankind
The perfect word is there right before them
It has been for all the history of the spoken language
In Greek, Latin, English or Aramaic or Chinese it has one meaning
Five letters, three syllables work together to giving meaning to humankind
The word the poets, singers and writers have been searching for
That word is simply alive
A sad word because it always has a final moment, a moment of loss
Yet, a happy word because while we are alive
We live, we love, we learn and we experience life and who we are
Sad or happy “alive” is the meaning of humankind
Thank the gods for the happy moments yet do not fear the sad ones
For that it life
That is the meaning of being alive


Details | Couplet | |

I'm Sorry Part 2

I'm sorry for the ways I fight,
I'm sorry that I dim your light.

I'm sorry I'm so negative,
That I am so competative.

I'm sorry that I'm so outrageous,
I'm sorry my hurt's so contagious.

I don't want to see your heart eache,
Cuz when I do my heart it breaks.

I'm sorry that I'm not so strong,
But you inspire my hearts song.

I'm not alone cuz now I see,
Your light that's shining just for me.

I'm sorry that I'm up and down,
But, Dear, You win the patience crown.

My love for you's so strong, please see,
A fire burns for you in in me.

I know that It's hard to believe,
But God will help us, just you see.


Details | Free verse | |

No Flowers

There are no flowers there...
just flies, and dust and sun
Where a child wanders
over dirt under calloused feet
under a blazing sun
on a barren land

there are no flowers
there are no trees

where hunger is the only companion
where a pool of dirty water is a lonely playground
where life drains out and sickness plays the only game

where no birds sing...
where the only sound are tears of the innocent

where a child alone, lays down
where there are no flowers
only thorns
for his grave






Submitted for "A Piece of Bread, Please" contest sponsorerd by Sami Al-khalili


Details | Rhyme | |

UNIFORM TANGLE

So I see how cruel life may be in a minute,
All around people’s faces gleam & glare
At my gloomy face but never see my net.
And I cry and cry and cry to get ‘em fair.

From times past, I knew of what may be
The finale of this sweet short time gained;
But now it comes with great dismay, to me.
With thoughts of melancholy stained.

Am losing my job to my brother,
I teach him my work as a father
Does to his sons and to the other,
He knows not my hearts as they gather.

They give a life, a life they can’t retain,
They offer me a choice, a choice not mine;
They lead me to the grave, to bury me and the ten;
But they in turn smile and smile as they dine

And so I see that they are not to be
The people I perceive may little see,
My serene into whirlwind occur to me
At a peek and glaze and short see.

Whatever the Asian will decide,
However I cope with them all,
I implore all the good to side
With me as evil entirely will fall.


Details | Rhyme | |

Learned my lesson

Deep down in my heart,
I had seen from the start,
That you were bad for me but...
I could not resist your symphony.
Everything happend for a  reason.
But now it is time to start a new season.
From spring to summer to fall to winter.
i can not wait to earn that new splinter
Of hate,regret and depression
Now that i have learned my lesson
It is not time for him to move on to a different person.


Details | I do not know? | |

Today Is Terrible----

The cracked spine of
the book I dropped
at the call.
A chip in my
windshield left by a
pompous *?#@! in a
red sports car as I
drive to the
service.
Rain expectorating
from an ashen sky as
the dirt is turned.
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
crack in grandma’s
spine from her fall
down the stairs.
The chip in her
amazingly smart mind
after eighteen years
as a teacher.
Tears running,
dripping from my
Mothers ashen face
as she cries “My
mama’s dead.”
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
cracked family
emotions left raw
and empty.
The chip in Grandpas
numb mind at the
gathering… “Where is
Irene she should be
here?”
Faces gone ashen
with dread, do we
leave him numb or
remind him that his
wife is dead?
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
empty silences,
missing the jokes
Grandma used to
crack.
Grandma’s laugh and
her endless smile
which always exposed
that tooth with the
chip in it.
Without her the
world has become
empty, bleak, and
ashen.
Today is terrible.

                   
                   
                   
          Summer
Gratias


Details | Free verse | |

L. I. F. E. (Living In Fear Everywhere)

L iving 
I n
F ear
E verywhere

Just as we live and just as we die 
We laugh, kill and crucify
We are no more our brothers than we are ourselves 
We are the players 
With the tools and talent of the efficient demise 
Of war, famine and greed 
We do rise
 
Of the ever constant ricochet of freedom in our ears
As we wrap our fallen dead in a shroud of rights, laws and bills 
And continue to improve the technology, the precision 
The assurance of absolute destruction 

Buying death is easy
Dealing is easier 
Survival 
The career choice of many 
A thriving business with prestige and power 
Taking, wanting, hungry for the rush 
So young, so fragile 
Blood is running in the streets 
A seemingly endless fountain of misguided youth 
Falling, one after the other 
So far from the truth 

S  hocked 
A  ngry
D  epressed 

What good has ever come from a gun ?
Why kill ?
Why are we arming our children ?
Our future ?
Are you blind to the fact ?
Do you not hear the sound ?
Do you not see ? 
Do you not care ?
We are killing ourselves 
Stealing each others dreams 
Each others families 
Why pro-create ?
To produce, raise, and nurture more disposable targets ?
Is there another use for guns ? 
1 + 1 = 0
One bullet + one individual = one less reason to care 
We are waging war upon our brothers for money, love and survival 

G  ive 
U  s
N  o
S  anity

All to easy....................
Living In Fear Everywhere 


Eric (and sometimes not)


Details | Free verse | |

City of Shadows

A lonesome boat in the harbor rocks insanity.
Big waves of the black sea roll across the white sands
that fade into darkness for eternity.
Far from the life giving drops of rain are predators
in the city of shadows.
Feelings from the last solem breezes blow.
As the evening sun fades slowly into the night,
the pavement glistens like cracked glass
from the earlier evening rain.
A lack of silence remains.
In the city of shadows,
screaming voices creep in the corner of your mind.
Visions of the garden where the flowers died.
The dark alley reveals the emptiness of peace within your soul,
and death reveals the cold, cold truth way beneath the black crumbled earth.
Slapped with a strike of lightning,
disrupting the fall of silence where secrets crawl to hide,
in the foxholes of one's mind.
In the city of shadows, bewildered minds tick with the time of the clock.
Breath by breath falls perfectly out of place,
and darkness opens a new gate.
Tunes of the violin slowly fade away.
A new awakening to blindness,
in the city of shadows.


Details | Free verse | |

Remember what I taught you

A dedication to my grandpa, 
i love you and miss you,
Your legacy lives on within my heart


The sun can shine
So bright, it makes you blind
Fooling, deceiving.
Very misleading .
The world telling you it's a good day
With just a simple ray.
Penetrating your mind
Telling you to leave all that behind.
So you leave it … Searching for anything to find.
To fill that hole in your heart ...with something kind.
So you go for a stroll in a park
And see a dog with a playful bark.
As you step near
You start to grow in fear 
Foam in its mouth 
You notice your head dropping south
Chin down
And start to frown.
You realize it's not so sunny anymore
Rain pours
No more birds soar.
Drop to your knees
And freeze
Start to cry.
Then wonder why.
Why do I feel this way?
Looking for answers, you go to the bay.
Watching the storm come in, you hear someone say, 
"Remember what I taught you,
You have to be strong.
Find the right
In the wrong. 
Everything will be okay.
Some days will rain. 
Some days will shine,"
Looking around to see who it may be
You continue to listen to the voice from the sea,
"some days you need to stop everything
And pray.
The Good Lord will take it away.
I've always been your strength
Strong for you and yours sister both."
As you realize who it is 
You start to cry, from sadness…
And bliss.
"I know you miss me…
And I miss you too.
No need to cry, 
Oh Catelyn, oh me oh my. 
But just always know I'm here,
In heaven 
watching over you. 
If you ever need me.
You know where I'll be. 
Watching over you from the clouds.
No need to worry.
Don't stress so much.
Life happens.
It peaks
And it stinks..
Given , I wish I was down there to talk to you. 
But it's all in God's plan.
Everything will be for the better. 
Now I'm sorry I have to go,
Check on your sister and cousins you know
Whenever your feeling rough
Whenever life gets tough
Remember what I taught you. 
Rain may continue 
Life will happen in different Venues
But go dance in the rain
Let go of the pain. 
Enjoy the life God granted you
…it won't last forever.
Don't plan out the future 
God has his plan
Live his will out
Not yours
Remember your still a kid,
So smile and I love you Catie did"
Tears rushing down your face
Tears of joy or sorrow 
You don't really know.
Remembering what your grandfather taught you,
With his strength You stand up 
Something in your chest starts to bump
Your heart, it's whole
Alive
Beating once again.
Pain is gone 
And you live on.
Dancing in the rain
With only life to gain.


Details | Rhyme | |

Reality Fraud

Starting to question 
if reality is real
Society seated in a medicine cabinet
so nobody has to feel

The world has convinced the truth to lie
Manufactured tears produced
so no one has to cry
Everyone banking off yesterday's credit
so nobody has to go out and try

Walking plastic seems to be fine
Cowards choosing surgery
to put in a spine

I stay real and continue to live
You sold out  
and refused to give


Details | Rhyme | |

" The Life Of Me " page 1 of 2

My name is James, born 1961
In Inverness, a small Scots town
To my father Andrew, and my mother Beryl
And Billy my brother, a pair of devils
 
In 67, we woke one night
Our house was ablaze, full of orange light
Our neighbour next door, for whatever reason
Started a fire, it must be crazy season
 
We had too move to a caravan park
By this time it,s three, to make a new start
My mother Beryl decide to leave
But the three of us left, never bothered to grieve
 
In the next few weeks, we ended in court
Two small children, in a marriage abort
We were asked to choose either Dad or Mum
But we ignored the parent, who went on the run
 
As we left the court, to start a new life
We felt sorry for Dad, as his illness was rife
He never told us that he was unwell
It would upset one of his boys, as the future will tell
 
Then came the night all parents dread;
Being told one of his boys is nearly dead
We were going to a boys club, on a Monday night
My brother was running so far out of sight
 
I turned the corner to see him ahead
No!! he's been hit by a van, Boom's  Boom's dead
I ran to my father, sreaming and crying
I'm finding my life,at 7 - far too trying
 
After the funeral, and with my father unwell
We left Inverness, our eyes a swell
To go as two, and not three as before
It's like Mother Nature closed a door
 
So we headed west, to a place called Fort William
Was it in the stars, cause Billy " is " William
We moved there, as the air was so pure
Hoping my father will find his cure
 
For whatever reason, we left the above
We found no Angel or peaceful dove
So we headed back to Inverness
Fathers health decreasing, life still a stress
 
Over the next few years, i was fostered and loaned
In couples houses and children's homes
It was really strange in all those places
Different people, different faces

Then on the 16th of Feb - 76,
James, i was told, your dads very sick.
The cancer had taken your father away
To be with Billy, where you'll join them one day

In 77, i joined the Navy, as i promised my dad you see. 
I did'nt enjoy it, i decided to leave 
Back up north, where my futures to be 
I wanted to have, what my parents had lost 
And that was my aim, no matter the cost

see page 2 of 2, ty..


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Definition of Innocence part 2

(continued from part 1)

What is innocence
that little boy
whose pulling his toy 
with it’s broken wheel
Do you think he doesn’t know that the price of that crack needle
Could buy him a meal?
Do you think he doesn’t,  know 
that that beer bottle
Is why he bares the bruises on his skin
Is it why he has to force himself to grin?
Is that little girl sitting with her perfectly coifed dolls 
Singing to herself so she doesn’t hear the screams
Doesn’t she scream in terror
as her father bursts into her dreams.
And shoves her mom crashing into her little table.
Does she have to dream, to live her fable
And even then, 
is she able?
Do you wonder what she is thinking 
as she struggles to push the head back on her doll
or is it a way for her to merely,  ignore it all
Are you watching with 20 million other viewers 
A drone in your living room, a slave to a box
A fly in a web of airwaves 
Do you think your government is doing the same 
Or are they filling up
Graves
is there an agenda being played 
as our minds are swayed
Is this distraction as innocent as it seems?
And that epidemic….An epidemic of having too much food
Begging someone please!
stop us from eating I cant see,
my knees
like it’s the bubonic plague
like we’re dropping like flies
An epidemic!
Could we build a memorial and carve on its stone
5 million died this year
from an this epidemic  alone
we could… if we replaced obesity  with
starvation
Is it ironic that the fat kids stomach looks just as big 
as the starving ones.
What is innocence
Is a boy who just wants to spend time with his grandpa
He doesn’t understand
As his grandpa takes him by the,  hand
And leads into the bathroom
To show him the darker side of man
That in that moment he’ll have to grow up
Faster then he planned
Faster then he can
What is innocence
Does it exist in this land
From the time were born
We stripped down, bought and torn
From violence to porn
We’re watched and mimicked 
Our lives just a gimmick 
To get in our little kids heads 
Where innocence treads
To take away their bliss
The only thing that they were born,  with
What is innocence
Does it exist anymore
Or in this day and age 
Have we closed that door
Forever more?


Details | I do not know? | |

Reaching the door

How do I love you? With all my 
heart.
I live with your put down, and
your anger.
Knowing the door is open, to 
leave, I try, but by the time I reach
it, it closes again.
Listening to your promises,
I believe, but then you forget you
even made them.
How do you hurt me? With your 
words, your words cut me, just like
a knife.
One day the door will open again, 
but the next time I will walk through.
Will you be sad, maybe, maybe not.
It's hard to tell, because your 
feelings, you hide them well.
I will always miss you though,
in some way, because I did love you,
and probably always will.


Details | I do not know? | |

Did I Remember To Tell You Daddy

Almost three years now Daddy
since you were taken away
I thank God you no longer suffer
but I had so much more to say

But you and I were always very close
and I know that we still are
So be free to enjoy family and friends
I know you'll never be far

Oh but  Daddy
Did I remember to thank you 
for coming to stay with the kids and I 
At times you thought you were a burden
but if anyone was it was I

And I want to tell you too Daddy
that you would be so proud of them all
Brandon's now a sergeant with a son on the way
Cam Jeremy is due early fall

And your little Sarah Daddy
you would be so very proud
She's a tiny little thing, still a great mom
and has the best boys in any crowd

And I'm sure you've been watching Curtis
So you know he's just like you
And he is living up to the promise he made
Yes Daddy I'm very proud too

Oh and one more thing 
before I lay down to rest
Did I remember to tell you and the world
that
 My Daddy's the best

Loving you and missing you always
Your baby girl


Details | Rhyme | |

Infected

Contaminated—
By everyone I’ve
ever touched.

Diseased—
By every heart
I’ve ever clutched.

Tainted—
This vessel has
begun to decay.

Soiled—
Excessive damage
I portray.

Inane—
Manic and
ready to bust.

Crazy—
No one left
for me to trust.

Dirty—
My mind and
soul combined.

Infected—
Diseased and
left behind.


Details | ABC | |

you dont know

People think they know you but truth is no one really knows the true you. People always say they know me but do they really? Know one knows the true real me only I know all my secrets and the things I hide and know when I am hiding my emotions. You look at some one and judge them just by the way they look or talk and dress, but do you really know what is going on? People judge me all the time for how I look, how I dress, how I talk, how I act towards people. You can’t just judge some one when you first meet or see them. Why is it that people judge each other? If you just judge people and not get to see the real them you might just miss out on a nice person. Yes I judge people but I at least give them a chance to prove my judgment wrong.


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 1 of 2

Around that table, picture the scene
Self appointed leaders if you know what I mean
What were the topics on the Agenda that day
The Jewish race is about to pay

Who gave the right for this decision that's made
Who has the right to cleanse and degrade
To decide who lived, to decide who dies
Another chapter, I still wonder why

They came in the day they came in the night
Women and children pulled out of sight
Herded aboard like cattle and sheep
Many a family awoke from their sleep

Dazed and confused as they are taken away
Where will they be at the end of the day
From their warm houses and their warm beds
What must be going through their heads

As they travel through days and through the night
Up ahead, they see lots of lights
They depart the trucks and board the train
Their faces scared under the strain

Asking questions from family and others
Generations, sisters and brothers
Why are we here, where are we going
Windowless carriages with no way of knowing

We come to a stop, soldiers aplenty
Towers and wire, topped with sentries
What can this place be they have taken us to
As we head to large gates as they shuffle us through

Families separated, herded in file
Women and children, not one did smile
Taken to rooms where our heads were shaved
Is this the way humans behaved

Clothes discarded, as we enter the shower
No signs of water no signs of power
Doors slammed as we are all crammed in
History will recall this evil of sins

As we stand in the dark, chanting Jewish faith
Can hear the voices can't see the face
Noises above, do the showers start
The event has begun that tells us Humans apart

Questions and sighs, as walled vents show daylight
Some thing is falling then their slammed tight
A strange aroma starts to fill the air
As all around are screams of despair

Twenty minutes have passed and the quietness is rife
Two thousand people, two thousand lives
Pellets called HCN, or Hydrogen Cyanide
Contribute to this Genocide


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | I do not know? | |

Whispers

I once heard a saying,
that the happiest people are the saddest
Shining because they’ve seen the darkest
Like the lotus that grows out of mud
Or the rotting stump that bears a bud..

You never know what troubles the mind
So be careful with words unkind
The glowing person just beside you
Could be a crumbling ruin behind the hairdo
 Most people struggle everyday
Souls burdened with decay..

I guess it takes a lot of courage
To act normal with that damage
Hard to believe that under the surface
Lives a soul with no purpose
A cry for help won’t be any crisper
Listen to the their inner whisper..


Details | I do not know? | |

The Only Way

A life of pain and mistaken thoughts
Afew sliced veins a kid mistaught
A kids mistrust
His soul in tatters
To his wrist this razor was thrust
His dreams shattered
A life of lies
A kid misunderstood
His unheard cries
Wanting nothing but to cause some good
Sitting alone
Thinking of his past
His future unknown
For this day will be his last
Wanting only for this pain to be gone
Suicide, the only way he knows how
So he knows this dawn
It will be over now, all over
He grabs his blade
Holds it to his wrist
His life betrayed
Longing to feel its final kiss
He screams
Blood starting to gush
It was just like his dreams
Such a rush
He smiles knowing
The pain is over now
His blood if flowing
It was the only way he knew how


Details | Lyric | |

Haunted

I see the vision playing back on me.
I close my eyes so I can't see
But the view won't stop.
Like this is on top
Of my list to do.
To be haunted by sights of you.
Visions of that day.
Now the pain just won't go away.
Now it replays back in my mind.
But I'm not the one pressing rewind.
You have made my life haunted. 
And now the nightmares will never stop it.
Until I can finally tell my story.
My story of what has happened to me.


Details | Sonnet | |

Mental Shoes

There is a delusional vision inside me
Full of eternal love and mental bliss
Is that vision so un-comprehendible?
For the vision now seems so far wretched

What is it like to live one day completely insanely free?
For I cannot remember the very last time 
My disease did not entirely consume me

Control and patience they say;
These remedies seem very far and few
For walk a path of insanity just once
Then you’ll see what it’s like
To walk a mile inside my mental shoes


Details | Rhyme | |

Lamentable You

Hell seemed to encompass the land As I watched him holding your hand For a moment I was happy for you And then my shameful heart gave way Earth longed to suck me in its waters Above fellow demons and their hollers We rue the day we ever existed Longing for the touch of human flesh We were trained to eat at your souls To fill your poor deprived holes With filth and emaciated sin Slithering within…bellowing within… And when I look at him I know he’s yours I should have seen it coming of course You never wanted a nothing like me And someone is to blame I see The voices in your head made you cower You once were awed by my power But now the beauty of love has destroyed us I am nothing, and he is yours Take her you bastard of a fool! I don’t need anyone, for I will rule I will rule over her vessel And mark me, she will detest you! Remarkable as she is you will leave her While I in the darkness keep her But for now I’ll lie in wait For the perfect time to ensnare Let go of his hands And allow this heart a chance Let the man lose his compass Only to stumble upon a new woman Oh, lamentable you! I force your love to be true Kiss me, my hate—my love, you fool! He’s never coming back for you! Because you are not special You belong to nobody—nothing! And you shall find That you were always… MINE.


Details | Free verse | |

One Stitch at a Time

dedicated…
to this hurt
to this pain

until you
ask 
me
why?
I cannot explain

and I want
to tear my heart
OUT!
and show you
everything 
that I am..
not

the edges
frayed
tattered
because I let them
in
gave each of
them
the sharpest scissors

hoping for curled up edges
like
Christmas ribbon
instead 
I am unraveled
like your
favorite sweater

I want you to be 
angry…
I ruined your
hope
of perfection

just put me
in your keepsake 
box
with all the other
possibilities
the could-have-beens
the almost maybes

but
you offer 
me the most 
beautiful golden
thread..

fix yourself, you say

but I can’t sew
and I feel
useless
once 
again…

until 
you take my hand
in yours
and teach
me
..
.
One stitch 
at
A 
Time


Details | I do not know? | |

A Lonely Voice Crying In The Night

    In the silence of the night
    A lonely voice is heard crying in the night
    It's soul longs for the love lost long ago
    It's heart aches for the happiness it will never know
    Trapped in this world that feels nothing but pain
    Shackled to a world that lets it live the heartache again and again
    Struggling each day  just to survive
    Hiding all the pain and living in a lie
    Only in the dark of night can it let it's voice cry 
     When other's like it know the reason why
     I can hear that voice you see
     The lonely voice crying in the night is me
 
 


Details | Rhyme | |

death of a cat

the season I turned eleven
was the season that I died
there'd been blood betrayal and famine
and I thought I had survived

my neighbor killed my kitten
and for that I could not cry
my mother went to handle it
told me to stay inside

i sat poised in an armchair
trying to calm my mother down
while I could feel nothing
we knew she'd made him drown

the woman was a laundress
washed other people's clothes
didn't like the stink of pig sties
it offended her frail nose

the wash-board on the right side
where the pigs did have their homes
was the one she always gave me
like the left one was her own.

only when a pig was hanging
would she demand to trade
i'd wash next to a hog's corpse
a choice could not be made.

then one day I got angry
and I dared to move her clothes
i moved them to the right side
as the rage inside me rose

the woman tapped my window
and said your cat is dead
it was two days before Christmas
she roused me from my bed

there was display of feeling
tears could not be be shed

gray fades to black
hello sadness my old friend


                                                     12/11/06



Details | Rhyme | |

Dry Your Tears

Dry your tears, clear your eyes
Ease your pain with mournful sighs
Soon the grief will fade away,
When you hear what i have to say.

I don't mean to pry
In your business or life,
But i don't like it when you cry...
I want to know what is wrong in your life!

Don't shed away
Tell me what's wrong
And everything will be okay,
No matter what you say.

Everybody has problems,
And everyone has pain,
If you don't deal with them,
You'll have nothing to gain.

Dry your tears, clear your eyes
Ease your pain with mournful sighs'
Soon the grief will fade away......
When you hear what i have to say!


Details | Rhyme | |

THESE LIPS ARE TO COLD TO KISS

Time, is combined, in my mind.
Tragedy trickles to nowhere,
And now this pain I bare.
Seeing you for your worth,
Hearing you are only earth.
Killing, and filling, this feeling.
Lame, losers look like you.
Now this heart you threw,
Up on, and left the mess.
So this is progress?
Torture, under, this blur.
Blindsided by big, bountiful, beams,
That left me in shattered dreams.
Never thought I could catch this,
Because these lips are to cold to kiss.


Details | Free verse | |

Darkness

Complete darkness
No sound at all
This is where you live
No one to talk to
The blackness, engulfing
Smothering the air out of you
In this vast void with lack of light
You are forced to believe
That you see a speck
A tiny green light
Way off in the distance
This blot of light brings so much hope
So many desires
You can hardly breath
Suddenly the light grows larger
You feel elated
Then FLASH
Complete darkness
No sound at all
Things are back
To the way they will always be


Details | Bio | |

35 Seconds to Suicide

1…2…3…4…
This is battle…This is war.

5…6…7...8…
Escape is just beyond this gate.

9...10...11...
All good girls go to heaven.

12...13...14...15...
The blade is ready, the blade is keen.

16...17.,.18...19...
Everybody must demean.

20...21...22...
I’d be alive if they only knew 

23...24...25...26...
My problems are too hard to fix. 

27…28…29…30…
Life is everything but sturdy.

31…32...33…
Life is the lock, death is the key. 

34...3-...


Details | I do not know? | |

They Think They Know

People say that they know,
Then she asks them is that so?
Do you know how I feel?
Do you measure every meal?
What it's like to take a shot,
At 7 o'clock on the dot?
You don't know a single thing,
Of the girl with a broken wing.
She's limited on her food,
Which puts her in a real foul mood.
When her blood sugar suddenly drops,
She all of a sudden flips and flops.
She can't even stand up strait, 
She thinks that she might actually faint.
You people think you understand, 
The most you can do is lend a hand.
Diabetes is no joke,
She can't even have a single coke.
She and her mom worry every day,
They wonder if she'll be okay.
Her bloodsugar can drop really low,
She can instantly become a real big foe.
It can even go really high,
She swears that it can reach the sky.
So for the people that say they know,
I ask them now, is that so?


Details | Blank verse | |

Frozen Memory

I climbed the face
     of a lightless dawn
glossed in silent frost
     between
wanting
and 
     knowing
naught.

From above fell my tears
crystal
     upon your eyes turned
beyond.

I watched you out of sight
and 
     left you there
on the down side
fading
     into yesterday gone.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Tears of Blood

As tears of blood
Stream down my face
Draining downward
At a steady pace

After those who have died
Long before their times
Feeling as if 
I will be shortly behind

I only ponder
On what might have been done
To prevent these lives
From being undone

Staring into
The endless blue sky
Tears of blood
Leave my eyes

I weep for those
Stolen of lives
I weep for those
That could have been wives
 
All of my tears
And all of my blood
Together could amass 
An almighty flood

Nothing may bring
Back a young soul
Truly this is 
Out of my control

Yet my tears of blood
Still roll down my face
On my knees begging lord
That my soul replace

All of these 
Taken far too young
And instead of them, I
Take the wrath of this gun

As I fall from this shot
My life seems to flash in my eyes
Not long before
My soul takes flight


Details | Lyric | |

Borderline's Wreckage

I'm Agonizing every Word that my mind Creates You've done this all to me release your wrath to Me You wonder How much a Human Heart can take I've reached the limit You've invaded me on every level none of this is Mine anymore I can't bleed enough for You We're through This, This Torture Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You Feel Free to abuse If it's you I won't lose The Winds push away The Vines pull forth I'm at a lose on what to do So very lost and Confused Don't say we're through Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You I Hate you ...Don't leave me I push you so far away But need you so close I'm on the edge you're all I really need I'll do anything Just don't Abandoned me leaving has it's toll Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You


Details | Rhyme | |

The Mayan Declared

The year is 2025 I have come back to my past To witness the Mayans Who said Earth would not last 2012 Was the year they declared That the planet we knew Could never be spared An Asteroid shower We could never comprehend Sends this heaven to hell In catastrophic spend The first to hit Was the daddy of them all Our axis twisted The human race in fall Just of Madagascar In the Indian Ocean It's where it all started That set our demise in motion Tsunami waves Like giant tower blocks Swamped Indonesia As Polynesia rocked The force of impact Reverberated west On the Canary Islands A dormant volcano so reft It's massive mountain side Into the Atlantic slipped To the eastern seaboard Of the United States it shipped A second Tsunami Half the world long Would submerge the east Taking the weak and the strong The second to hit Hit a place struck before Tunguska in Russia Receives another sore Daylight turns to night As earth meets our skies Fallout from the reactors In shattered demise Radiated clouds Eventually filter down Leaving bleeding lacerations As we humans death drown Smaller asteroids Some just a few hundred feet Around the world they were marvelled Until they meet their greet The place where I stand now Was Yosemite National Park Now dark ridges of black So bare and stark It's been many many years Since the sun shone through the screen When I close my eyes I remember When the earth was lush and green How many of us survived Will we ever know Was this in our destiny I think all around me, now shows


Details | Epitaph | |

Suicide Is My Only Choice (I'm sorry)

i became a Christian... and now i realize... death is the only answer....


i hate to admit
that i live my life
it sickens me so

i found Christ
and i found him alone

i find it funny
that the church continues
to feel i should stay that way

alone

they banish me
outcast me
and see me as bad person

all because of what I've done
in my past

i love god
and i love Jesus
but sadly
i cannot stand Christians

they are what first made me
what i used to be

is it fair to anyone
who wants to be one of us
has to feel so bad
at what the church says
he must become

people say to live by example
but what if the example
is fake
and what if the example
is what is keeping you from becoming
what your meant to be

its sad
the church, that is
to see such a beautiful building
and it have such a rotten core

if people could only see
that the church is not Christianity
theres no way a person in there will set you free

only one of them can

his name is Christ

i loathe the fact that some of the 'christians'
think they are so worthy
to save somebody
but they don't realize
they save nobody
only THE ONE can save one from the one they used to be

i mean
look at me


Details | Quatrain | |

A Cry for Help

My name is Peter the Pelican I'm nothing special at all I fly around as I'm supposed to But this day I was close to a fall Every day when I take to the skies They are blue and sometimes grey But this day I never imagined That my bluey seas would decay Oozing from metal giants Now appearing after millions of years Mans honey as they seem to be happy Every find I hear all their cheers One day their tears turned to shouts For much of it was getting away My blue was turning to a distasteful mix In the place where I always played One day without a care in the world As I dived for a meal one morn On surfacing I struggled to respond Splashing I became so worn My feathers were not responding I'm drifting close to the shore Amid a sea of thickening black I sense the closing of my pores What little strength I have left As I lie in decaying kelp I flap my wings and hope in my heart Someone hears a cry for help http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/nature-12.php


Details | I do not know? | |

God's Plan

All I can do is wonder. 
I'll never really know. 
OI'll never get to hug her, 
and she'll never see me grow.
When I wake up tommorrow, 
this nightmare won't be gone.
I'll never have what I took for granted, 
a chance to know my Mom. 

I know I shouldn't cry, 
because that won't bring her back.
It doesn't make up for the emptiness
or the love that I lack.
I'm almost grown up now.
I did it all by myself.
But I can't help but wish
I could be like everyone else.

I'm excluded from some "special bond"
and memories to be shared.
When all I ever asked for
was to have someone who cared.
The tearstains on my pillow
outnumber memories.
The only way I know her
is to see her in my dreams.

Daddy said she loved me,
but God called her home.
I don't know why he took her, 
the only Mom I'd ever known.
I guess he has a hidden plan, 
a reason I can't see.
I'm waiting for it to come together
and work out okay for me. 

I hope I'll understand some day
just what God has in mind. 
So no matter how much I miss my mother
I'll follow God's plan and be alright.


Details | Rhyme | |

Warrior Song

What remains when life is gone
And arrows lodge against my heart?
Who will sing the warrior's song,
When now your voice is torn apart?

How do I go on from here
In darkness stark and bare?
I look upon my naked fear,
But you're not here to care.

The sun has set, I stand alone
My warrior shield in shreds;
Your horse has run, now free to roam,
And I face nightmare's dread.

How can I live upon this land
Without the hawk's pure cry?
For I am now a conquered man,
No more does courage fly.

What remains when life is lost
And one I loved is gone;
How can God support this cost,
Who hears your warrior's song?


Details | Narrative | |

this was me

it began so innocently
we exchanged ideas on poetry
his art, the suffering he endured
he preyed upon my compassion
as he meticulously bided his time...

i felt safe as we expressed
our mutual love of words
i was excited, i was learning,
unbeknowst to me, i was his prey..

many months and thousands of hours, 
talking, reaffirmed my trust; faith in him
he shared his life, triumps & tragedies
i supported all he desired for himself..

i understood, i felt his pain, 
his drive i admired, he overcame tremedous odds,
became a doctor so others would not suffer as he had;
he baited me; the innocent and naieve one.

living life with no regret,
i chose to take a leap of faith,
he guided me, alleviated my fears,
of promises to cherish and adore me..

as a tiger waits patiently to pounce on his prey
i was oblivious to his hatred inside,
he was a master of manipulation
his mission - to destroy me..

i felt he was worth giving 
up all i knew to build a life
he so lovingly described to me,
little did i know, his words - poison..

america bound i left everything i knew; i loved.
the terror of his drunken rages, his icy silence,
the cruelty of his words stung like red hot coals.
what he admired most about me,intensified his hatred.

the vacancy in his eyes was terrifying, 
i was alone in a strange country, 
knowing no one, in a house, not a home, 
full of tension, rage, abuse; numb and in shock;
this was my reality..

with each painstaking day of living in terror
dreading his arrival, my fear reached new heights;
i had enough; i was leaving.
his rage increased, his words pure venom..

i was numb, shaking, fear drove me to action
he became desperate, i did not sleep 
for fear of never waking, his actions so terrifying
i felt a strength within, empowering me..

planning my escape, fear became my ally,
i reached the airport and did not stop shaking
until safely on the plane, doors shut, 
moving down the runway to take-off;
i wept, i crumbled, i collapsed.

jubilantly at home, i felt peace, safe, 
and soaked in the beauty of my freedom; my home.
it has been six weeks; i have flashbacks, 
terror still haunts me; i am determined 
to not let another change me.

i am healing and am grateful for every
moment i smile, smell a flower, witness
the marvel of each sunrise and sunset.
i am a blessed girl.

~this was me~ 


Details | Narrative | |

Quit That Tapping

like the raven 
who taps taps upon 
your chamber door
do not fret my Virginia
for it's my shadow
moving across the floor
this is what I'm telling you my darlin
and nothing more

beneath lattice
I still call your name
come to me virginia
come hear the tap tap 
upon your chamber door
for only you my love 
I surrender and never more

wind howls in blanket snows
here I stand so all alone
broken hearted and misconstrued
my Virginia who lies under stars and moon
just a tap tap upon your chambers door
tis I and nothing more

tales of hidas truth
blackbird sings harps cords
just like the tap tap upon your chambers door
my sweet Virgina whom I adore
for there'll be love waiting and nothing more

as I lay right next to you in this tomb
I counted only seven who have even knew
the times of this raven who 
tapped tapped upon your chambers door
twas only I and will be never more


Tribute To Edgar Allen Poe
And His Young Bride Virginia
Also To His Poem The Raven


Details | Quatrain | |

He was Just a Little Boy

I was born unto this world
A little boy called James
I was just like all the rest
Who in the playground played normal games

I knew my life was in trouble
By the time I reached the age of five
My mother had so many friends
I wondered why I was alive

The kids all used to laugh at me
In my short trousers and bloodied knees
If only they had known
What was going on, in the inside of me

Would they ever know
Why a mother would put you down
And pretend that your not there
As another arrives from out of town

Have they ever wondered
To go to school with clothes unwashed
Sleep on a concrete floor
While your Mother's comfortably sloshed

Do they ever stop and wonder
What happens around them day by day
They can't, because they are young like me
When all they want to do is play

My teens are around the corner
To secondary school I go
I survive and I get wiser
As I intend my life to flow

As we travel down life's highways
When we are born they are seldom written
You know the roads you want to take
For inside you, your internally smitten 




Details | Rhyme | |

Holocaust

In midst of night,
When I was deep in slumber,
The memory rattled,
Eyes sunk with fear,
Saw the houses crumble,
The trees tremble,
The thunder storm made me nimble,
The ocean in fumble,
Tried to reach me and hug me in grumble.

I went slowly to the balcony,
Tried to reach out to see this mesmerized agony,
The agony was far from imagination,
It’s a terrifying situation,
God is slowly destroying its creation.

The waves shook the landscape,
The geography is jeopardized,
The houses drowned,
And with it are the people,
Cries of the birds,
Made the atmosphere filled with shrill,
The painful and subdued voice of the animals,
Made it sure of their fatal deaths.

The water is beneath,
Thunderstorm is above it,
No place for shelter,
The houses gradually decreased,
With water slowly increased,

I saw human beings floating in it,
I knew some of them, were also in it,
Saw the animals gradually going deep in it,
Trees are getting shaved,
Houses are getting razed,
The plateau near my house is gone beneath.

The things happened so quickly,
And it was so horrifying,
that I forgot my own situation,
Now I am in pain and sorrow,
for what I have seen slowly,
Happening beneath my eyes.

With this grief and agony in my heart,
I turned back to get inside the house,
But I was knee deep in water,
And the water is rising faster,
I am late in making my action,
Now my life and my existence is in jeopardy,
And with the flashes of the scenes running back and forth,
Made me cripple,
I wasn’t able to run,
I gradually gave up to the faith, 

But when I saw the death creeping near to me,
A terrible fear ran through me,
My face became pale,
And the blood started drying up,
I started weeping and prayed to spare me,
But a dark shadow engulfed me,
And a terrible wave galloped me.

I was desperately moaning,
Then suddenly my eyes opened,
My bed was completely dripping from the sweat,
For few minutes I couldn’t make out what’s going on,
But then I realized that it was a dreadful dream.
I closed my eyes and prayed to God,
Thanked him that it was a dream.


Details | Free verse | |

The Past Haunts Me

The past is what haunts me.
Its what kicks me down.
Its what follows me...
I used to get bullied at school, all the time.
And i have noticed, that it is slowly coming back..
And i find myself asking "Why me?"
I find myself wondering why it is coming back...
Im thinking "Will it ever end? Or just keep coming back to haunt me?"
I cant take this anymore,
It is killing me inside.
I feel like nothing.
I feel as if i am alone.
I feel as if i have nothing.
I feel as if no one cares.
No one, no one understands.
I feel as if im living in my past.
I cant take this anymore,
Its just to much..
I want to leave..
But i cant get myself to do it..
So i shall wait..
Until the day..
That i can leave..
And leave this world happy,
Without me..


Details | Verse | |

The Nymph

I live on that borrowed time
What do you know about me...
She was a nymph that got me
In sexual moments she kills
She gives something unwanted
A disease, unknown to all
Now I’m living with something
That could kill me instantly
I feel nothing but knowing
I could die...
This nymph knew me all too well
She used me
Can kill me and not be there
I just live on borrowed time
Death will one day lean on me
I will die

Russell Sivey


Details | Rhyme | |

A Lonely Man

He lives on his own
Far away from life
In a sheltered glen
Since he lost his wife

Nothing can replace
The previous years that he had
It was timeless and loving
He now lives alone and sad
 
Surrounded by emptiness
Just like his heart
His family is now nature
Life at sixty, his new start
 
In a run down bothy
On the Cairngorms, above Aviemore
The Scottish countryside consoles him
His heart now a lonely sore
 
Everyday when he awakes
He thinks of his dear wife
Out of the window he looks
Out there is his life

He lives of the land
The best he can
Sometimes he heads into town
A lost looking man

The years have passed by
He still lives on his own
His loss finally accepted
Into his lonliness, he has grown




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-2.php



Details | Rhyme | |

DaddyTold Me Song on CD

In life to get by, I really do try, very hard to live by,
the old fashioned ways, of how my daddy lived his days,
He often told me not to lie, and when he caught me, it made me cry,
and I still remember him say, son you'll be ok, tomorrow's another day,

Then daddy told me about the war, the first time he wrecked a car,
and of how it made him cry, when some of his friends died,
Then we looked up in the sky, and the whole world felt like ours,
staring high up in  the sky, I just wished that we could fly,

Being young, I asked dad...why?...why do people have to die?
Then I heard him sigh....and say....my oh my oh my,
and he looked me in the eye,
as I yearned for his reply:

Son, people are dying without....and dying within,
with no way out.....hunger starves a friend...
Death is much about, bloody wars that never end...
The whole world, no doubt, suffers from serious sin,

Then we looked high up in the sky, suddenly a shooting star went by,
and the whole world felt like ours, as daddy told me about the stars,
Then I listened to him say, son...tomorrow and everyday...
let nothing stand in your way, and you'll succeed in life....OK.


Details | Quatrain | |

Minor Discomfort

Does everybody feel the same as I do?
Lost? Adrift? Disconnected? Confused?
Does anyone know how to ease the hurt of truth
For the accuser, as well as the accused?

I've heard there's bliss
Found somewhere in ignorance
For those who have been stripped
Of their already fleeting innocence

So I continue to move through this life
Practiced smile, that doesn't quite reach my eyes
Which instead reflect the emptiness
That fills me up inside

It hurts to feel so alone and uncertain
Consumed by doubt and fear
Eventually life becomes a burden
Damaged beyond all repair

The temptation to numb all sensation
It more powerful than one might believe
I'll sacrifice the pleasure, to relieve the devastation
As passion gives way to apathy

Say whatever you want
About those who dwell on the past
Go ahead and judge me from your moral soapbox
While you cower behind your mask

The opinions of most matter very little to me
It won't be taken to heart as you intend it to be
First you'd have to practice the words you preach
If you ever do then I promise I'll start listening


Details | Rhyme | |

Heroes Soon Forgotten

Disease beneath the skin, iron will can never win.
Death in the air, sorrow and misery the killing pair.
What's no longer in the mind, has left for no one to find.
The eery chill, just waiting for the kill.
Demons never cease, death will never release.
The cold dead fingers, kills sorrows singers.
The dead in the earth, doomed from birth.
Lightning streaks the sky, as angels begin to cry.
The mighty hell fire, will never tire.
The infected precense, causes all to wince.
Throughout seasons, death has no reasons.
Hours are days, as the darkness forever stays.
Knife carves through bone, as the end is shown.
Before the damned awake, this world will break.
No repents for the sinner, in this game there is no winner.
When will we see the light, for all sicken of this endless fight.
The heroes will soon be forgotten, for now the loving hearts are rotten.
In those crying eyes, the darkness continues to rise.
Death plays the tune, beckoning the wicked soon.
Will this never end, for all have not sinned.
Remembering the dead, as all watched as demons fed.
Can any make it through, as hearts break in two?
All that remains, is the haunting scars and pains.
Trembling before shadows lord, deafening as the reaper has roared.
The blade falls, without the slightest pause.
Who can rise above, and make true what we've dreamt of?
Who can we trust, to fight through greed and lust?
Shattered dreams, tore through the seams.
We fight this master, as our lives drain faster.
Death comes to all, as they hear the voiceless call.
Getting closer to the gates, who now controls our fates?
Laughter burning through our ears, consuming all fears.
Finally there is freedom, finally the light has come.


Details | Lyric | |

Why Must It Be

Can I let you go? Will you be okay? Where you're headed now...to a better place Listen to my words of forgiveness relieving this pain I'd give anything to have you back again To hold you once more in my arms, one more day of happiness you now dwell within my heart Your innocent smile is forever a distant memory, and the times that we share are precious treasures that I spend reliving The Shadow of Death Took you in just one breath Why must it be? I cry behind this closed door, searching desperately for an answer, yet all I feel is an emptiness inside... despair haunts me forevermore Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave? Why does this have to hurt? Cancer robbed thy life from thee... Why must it be? Fly away Angel Child of Mine Trod thy broken paths, roam away, fly and be free... Why must it be?


Details | Elegy | |

Time Consumes Life

Just one more time, 
just one more breath,
 just one more moment to remember the past, 
lull in thy memories, 
breathe in thy essence, 
to look upon thy face,
 to know you still care,
 to know what we had was special, 
to be preserved in preferred memories. 

Where I am going I know naught.
 Floating as if in limpid water currents, 
languor reaching but finding not,
 solitary enraged soul longing for one more kiss, 
one kiss whence naught. 
Malformed monsters feast 
upon the vermin ravishing mine soul, 
my tender heart loathing sunset’s rays enfold, 
nighttime beseech me, broken heart unfold. 
Another night shine through tears, 
summoned by memories a hundredfold,
 putrid time consumes life; 
Cruel Life Sleeps.


Details | Acrostic | |

FOR RENT

Frame is solid, some refurbishing needed; I have a room for rent
Only needs a few repairs and my patience has well been spent
Ready for immediate occupancy as soon as one can spare

Renovations commencing instantly; rent is somewhat fair 
Equipped with all the essentials; a spacious room is what you’ll find
Needs an well organized individual; one able to dwell inside this mind 
Today it’s clean and tidy as can be; tomorrow's a new day, I'll wait and see 

© Stacy Lynn Stiles


Details | Free verse | |

An Unfair Ending (Edited for space limits)

His face, withered, gaunt
His eyes cloudy, filled with a haunting vacancy
His voice weak , shallow
Seldom spoken these last difficult days

His hair is white and thin
His skin, so delicate and discolored
The strength has left his fragile body
And he lies, waiting

Yet I remember the man who was my Father
In my youth, so tall and strong
His eyes a deep blue with a depth of the seas
Thick, wavy, black hair tousled about his head

He walked with an unaware arrogance
Never knowing that all eyes were upon him
This handsomest of men, beautiful, confident
No one could match his brilliance, his seductive air

Unconscious, innocent of the power he possessed
The command he held with peers, a leader of men
A bright star in the universe, a life spent searching for answers
Politics, Economics, Religion…his battlegrounds

Yet, with all his perfection
He remained kind and true to all
Generous, loving; never an unkind word
A light for all who knew him

But the cruelty of life is worse for some
His body wracked with an unforgiving disease
Seizing him, slowly at first…a tremor
Then completely, leaving him helpless

Dependent upon those who had worshipped his strength
Lying in his bed, languished, weak
Nearly impossible to eat, difficult to drink
Each day descending further into darkness

Life’s cruelest blow to one so special 
Chosen by angels as their brightest star
So blessed to have loved such a man
Still loved, but pitied for the terrible loss

For such men were never meant to suffer this fate
To fade each day, closer to oblivion
He would never have chosen this
Broken, suffering silently in stoic resignation

Pride now replaced with painful gratefulness
He tries to manage a smile
His rigid muscles fighting the instinct
For he spent his life smiling

But old age has given him no peace
No time to reflect on the legacy he leaves
He waits as life deals its unjust ending
For one who was so great, so good

I hold his cold, thin hand in mine
Holding back the tears that burn
I will remember him, the Father whom I have loved
I see him walk away, wavy black hair, a cute little wink

As he leaves this tired shell, worn, used up
Once again becoming the unbroken man
I see him strut again, his quick, bouncy steps
As he climbs the ladder to the heaven he has earned

I hear the trumpets of the angels
Welcoming their special creation
A man of compassion and ideals
My Father, My Daddy…How I will miss him


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Bruise

Emotionally pinched
bruises the mind
blinds the eye from seeing
internal scars still bleeding
denial of the worst kind
feelings left behind
alone and distraught
in shadows of black and gray
surrounded by emptiness
.
Heart in shreds
gloom and dread
torn apart thoughts
doors of communication closed
beyond reach in saving
numb in soul
crying inside for help
prisoner of pain and hurt
trapped in confinement
of misery.


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 2 of 2

After the quiet we all have to go
Dragged and carted by the Sonderkommando
To be dumped in pits covered by lime
A race to dispose by it's Human slime

Auschwitz, Buchenwald & Dachau slaughtered
Many a son, many a daughter
Experiments on children women and men
Some aged 90, many under 10

In 45, their end was near, how many alive would reappear
As Russians, British and US troops
Chased the Hun to their German roots
Each camp reached showed it's sordid past
Where millions of me, were massively gassed

In Auschwitz, to this present day
Birds don't fly, no animals play
The reminder is all for there to see
Those terrible days what happened to me

It's 1948, our Nation is born
From histories past, populations torn
To all who survived I wish you well
And our new born world, called Israel 


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | Free verse | |

Counting the Leaves

one...

a piece of scarlett flowing by
flirting with the threads on my arms

five...

breezes tied to their season, warmth running dry
canopies reddened with alarm

one hundred...

endless thoughts of winter's tide
her endless beauty and biting touch

five hundred...

winter's coronation has arrived
crowning the ground with white dust

one thousand...

one leaf left, a hanging army
whipping with wind, holding for life

one thousand one...

a brown corpse, dried and free,
falling, falling,
last tear from the tree.


Details | Blank verse | |

Left Undone

Cold so cold
    the night
and the sea
    so black
and floating things
    brush my legs
toes numb and buried between
farewell and forever gone.
    You never did finish it
    after all
half notes hang in the frost
    of November
waiting ...
sink me in a moment’s sunlight
    reflected in tears
fallen from green eyes much like
    your own.
x


Details | I do not know? | |

THE PRICE OF OIL, PART I

The nurse ordered her to push, push, push
in her best proper voice 
and linen balled in red fists knotted
and sweat falls from red face knotted 
while Billy, head first, tugged and yanked by nurse's proper hands, 
emerges, gently laid upon the blood soaked sand 
motionless in the sulfur haze, almost well-behaved 
amongst the rifle clatter and bewildered screams - 
get down! get down! get down! 
while Billy breathes slowly, undisturbed, 
his eyes closed with new mom 
gently caressing matted, cark curls, 
her fingers, no longer knotted, extended,
Billy's tiny hands and infant fingers 
grip the plastic ribbing 
around the rifle barrel smeared in stickiness that flows out 
from below Billy and onto sand, puddling, his lips chapped and parted, 
suckling as new mom exhausted weeps 
in relief of two arms and two legs and everything okay 
as she holds him, hurting for him, 
everything that might happen, 
everything that will happen, 
and she drifts off to slumber, 
mother and child peacefully spent 
in soft pretty colors 
and the soft murmur of the television as the sedan 
with government plates at the curb 
and a Marine in dress blues (Oh, God) stands plastic in the doorway 
and uses his best proper voice (Oh God, not Billy, Oh God) 
to regretfully tell her, 
and uses surprised hands to catch her when her legs 
regretfully cannot hold her 
and she sobs on the floor like a mother who outlived her son, 
exhausted as the day Billy was born.
Screw this war.


Details | Lyric | |

This is about you

When you have downfall on your mind chaos is all a mind can find, its time to change all the things you had held so deep inside, they cause rage, your trapped in while your caught up in the cage of life an easy life with out strife, no more pain or struggle inside a bubble and you want to make it burst, but first things first you know the times that come will be the worst, because its change you want, and you will taunt the ones who set the curse. They say if you want to change a little then its your choice, but if you want to change a lot they must first hear your voice, loud enough for all to hear, listen and all of the problems soon disappear, just know that the world can be a  bleak one and people dont always listen so you cannot only speak once, so when the end is near you can look back at the goodtimes throughout all the years think about all the times and cheer, and thank god you lived this long and your still here. Be remembered  only for  the words you spoke, for you do not want to be invisioned inside a cloud of smoke, watch as they listen when you start to feel the choke on the thoughts about your life,a bad life,  a black life, envoloped in fear you were hoping that the man would hear, and maybe take a listen, to diamonds in your mind as you watch them glisten. finally move to a position, and  open your ears and let your mind be clear, and hear the wisdom spoken from the person on the otherside of the mirror, society sobriety with out a clue just sit and ponder at the deepest thoughts that are revealed in you...


Details | Free verse | |

VACANCY


I don't have filled spaces.
Nonexisting time lies to me,
making me feel as if I were not empty.
Space remains painfully unoccupied in me.
There is no prince
no poetry or sigh
that a sigh without cause is consequence of passion.
There is no romance or excitement.
Word or song.
Meaning or ignorance.
I don't have time, it's true,
for I am filled with the strange intensity of freedom and youth.
However, all the space of my soul I keep
like a ballroom with no ball.
. . . If someone shouted in me . . .
it would echo.

Patricia Evans


Details | Rhyme | |

Nobody Knew

Nobody knows the pain she hides,
No one cares to look inside.
This little girl that’s only nine,
Has to fight to stay alive.

Her mom’s an alcoholic,
And her daddy does drugs.
She gets beaten and bruised,
Instead of kisses and hugs.

Nobody hears the little girl’s cries,
Nobody notices her wet swelled eyes.
When her mommy is drunk and her daddy is high,
So she doesn’t get beaten, she has to hide.

She’s sick of the pain,
That she suffers from every night.
She’s sick of getting punished,
For her mom and dad’s fights.

So, she went downstairs and grabbed a rope,
And hung it way up high.
She stood on a chair and put her head through the noose,
And jumped and hung there to die.

Her mom came home drunk that night,
Her daddy came home high.
To find her hanging by the rope,
To find out she had committed suicide.

Nobody knew the pain she hid,
Nobody cared to look inside.
The little girl that had wet swelled eyes,
Committed suicide and no longer has to fight to stay alive.


Details | Free verse | |

I am Free to:

I am free to: Love, 
                  
                       Hope, 
                    
                          Endure, 
                    
                      Sing, 
                 
                        Dance,

                      Cry,

                         Laugh,

                     Grow,

                         Give up,

                     Never stop untill I achivemy goal's,

                                 Live life,
                      
                        Hate! 

               Have the will not to hate,

                 Never give up,

                            Go down the wrong path,

                  To choose the right one,

                        To worship you, Lord!



Details | Free verse | |

Jesse

The sun was blaring down 
That August afternoon
When Jesse came into the town 
Of Early Blossom Bloom
The sun had blistered up his skin
His shoes were worn and tired
The clothes he wore upon his back
Was all that he acquired

Jesse was a loner 
Traveled light and all alone
No family he could speak of
No place to call a home
For food and basic shelter
He would trick upon the street
For a twenty dollar bill 
His throat would be a treat

His body aged and weary 
From the life now forced to live
A new found way of living
No man had chose to give
The effort once put forth
Strength he no longer had
To earn an honest living
A concept he didn’t have

What would come of Jesse 
No trade to call his name
In life he loved so many men
Each one a different way
But love for him was just a fix
An action he would show
Not something that would stick around
And nourish his inner soul

He travels to the city 
In hopes to find a friend
One last fool to take
Before giving up his sin
But in this town 
There was no one
To cater Jesse’s ways
No place for him to go and stay
Or a simple bed to lay

He sat down on the park bench
As dusk filled up the sky
Weary from the journey made
In hunger he did cry
In life he played a hell of a dance
No partner came to stay
Deep down afraid 
The city streets
Would be his home to stay

In Jesse’s heart was anger
For the people passed him by
Not one kind word was spoke to him
He sat alone and cried
His prayers of some compassion
Were seemingly unheard
This was life for him now
Banished from the world

He died that night a lonely man
On the park bench all alone
Laid to rest in a lonely grave
The place he now calls home
The life and times of Jesse
Now just a memory 
He was a man most would forget
For shame of his company

Think back on the life and times
That Jesse brought to earth
Would you have shown compassion?
If you seen him all alone
Who is to say who is to judge
For a life lived on the streets
For Jesse it was all he knew
And all he could ever be


Details | ABC | |

Falling Rain

As the rain falls down on me,
Before the end of the day.
Curtains will rise once more,
During the final play.
Even as the sun goes down,
Falling from the sky.
Greeting us the stars will shine.
Heaven knows why.
I often wonder if we deserve this
Justice 
Kindness
Life.
Meaning that if we don't give it,
Never will we spare strife.
Oppressing the weak,
Persuing the poor.
Questioning some things
Realizing more.
Still as life goes on 
Trying as we might.
Ultimately loosing
Violently in this fight
We cant go on in life like this.
X-ing out everything
You were the first bell in my life but
Z is the last to ring.


Details | I do not know? | |

Be A Good Kid And Roll Me A Joint

When you are nine years old 
and sifting the seeds out 
of your parents pot for them, 
you can't really preach 
about the dangers of cigarettes
and second-hand smoke...
even though you know them.

You know better than to miss a seed
and let it ''pop'' while they are smoking it.
''What are you lazy or just too stupid? ''
''Is it really that hard to make sure 
all the seeds are out? ''

Once you've proven yourself with the sifting job, 
maybe they'll think enough of you 
to actually let you roll one.
If you're lucky.
Then you're a real ''big helper''.
Then they really like having you around.
Because they love you.

But, if you're stupid enough 
to roll a joint that isn't tight 
or comes apart while they're smoking it...
you'll be sorry.
Because then they'll tell all their friends 
just how stupid their worthless kid is.
''Stupid kid.
Can't even roll a good joint.
What good are you''? 

Just wait...you're almost ten.
Then they'll have you smoke one yourself.
''It'll make you much cooler.
Because you're such a dork.
You really need help''. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Gone

As the tears fall down from my face,
I think about that magical place.
You took me there when I was young,
but that was before the pain begun.
You walked me down the road of life,
preparing me to be a mother and a wife.
You would hold my hand and say have no fear,
mommy's not going anywhere, I'll always be here.
But that was wrong and so were you,
you left me mom, what am I to do?
I've been told life goes on,
but it can't be, because you're still gone.
I pray at night to see you in my dreams,
but you're never there, just terror and screams.
How could this happen, how could this be?
The woman I love so dearly up and left me.
I go to the grave every afternoon,
I sang our favorite song, it was a nice little tune.
But since your gone I've changed some things,
about marriage and babies and diamond rings.
Those things are not important to me now,
I ask myself, how did this happen, when and how?
You let yourself go to that place in the sky,
but it happened so sudden mom, please tell me why?
You left me a note by your bed,
you wrote moments before you ended up dead.
Please tell me why you took your own life,
you were a such loving mother and a dear wife.
You didn't write much, just a few lines,
to tell me you love me, and it would be better in time.
But now that your gone, it's not better at all,
I just lay in my bed, I scream and I bawl.
To know what you done, it's too hard to bare,
I stand at your grave with a cold desperate stare.
You were a daughter, a loving mother, and a dear wife,
Why did you do it mom, why did you use that knife?
I wonder everyday, it's all I think about,
There's only one thing it could be, without a doubt.
You went to a dark place, filled with murder and thugs,
I know why I lost you mom, you could no longer fight the drugs.
You could have reached out and told someone before,
now it's too late, death has already knocked and opened your door. 
I'm sorry, so sorry, I could not see,
the reason you are dead is because of me.
I wasn't there to help when you needed me most,
Now I can't see you, not an image or a ghost.
I've answered my question, I just waited too long,
I know my mistake now, but it's too late, your gone.


Details | Rhyme | |

LOVES MY TRAGEDIES

It never takes much for me to fall in love,
but i love, love for all the reasons I hate love,
I love, love because love is what holds me through the night,
but that same love may hit me in a fight,
I love, love because love is my protection,
but that same love may hurt me from rejection,
I love, love cause no two loves are the same,
but falling in love is like continuing a game, and i just don't wanna play anymore,
I want a love that will love me and except me,
Don't try and change me,
but that is just the type of love that will never find me,
so instead of hating love, I fear love,
I fear love more then I love, love,
I have never feared expressing my love,
but I fear falling in love too deeply cause I know that is just the type of love that will 
hurt me, 
I have falling in love so many times,
it always seems like a race against  time,
love never stays with me,  it always leaves me,
it always finds a way to hurt me,
whether it's taking a boy from me, or taking away someone in my family,
loves my tragedies,
but without love leads me to sanity,
I hate the feeling of being alone because I spent my whole life alone,
 I'v done everything in my life on my own,
I don't think I deserve to be alone but I fear what love may one day do to me,
because love I know will one day hit me,
just like daddy hit mommy,
just like love hit my sister,
love wouln't let them excape and I'v seen the pain the blood and the tears,
so love has become the source of all my fears,
I never stay in love cause i feel the need to fun from love,  but this I will never tell,
I may say I love but it's not the same type of love inwhich you know of
because when I love I love deeply,
but my love for love is running swifly,
I am getting older by the year and one day I will have to live with a man,
but I will not love that man I will fear that man,  because if I love him he will grow 
mad, and he will one day hit me,
thats why I fear any guy loving me,
because loves my tragedies.


Details | Free verse | |

Epiphany

Well it's sad to say, that this ugly duckling
never grew into anything more than an ugly duck


Details | I do not know? | |

Words I Never Said

    My soul mate, my love, my friend
     We had a bond that would never end
      There was a time you belonged to only me
      But that was a long time ago
       And I foolishly set you free
      Never telling you I loved you so
      Never asking you not to go
     I always hoped there would be another time
     To once again feel your caress and your hand in mine
     But that time will never be
   The time has passed and all I have are memories
    All those words I should have said come back now to haunt me
    I never said I love you
    But know there was never anyone but you


Details | Rhyme | |

I disappear

I loose my self
in myself
and fear
often times
I disappear
not always so
as youth
as man
young the heart
i still could stand
outside gates
in every core
but weak
I hide now
close the door
peer out through
the looming night
see the man
who sits outside
empty of
his other part
hiding in
the lonely heart
I loose my self
and then I fear
you've lost a part
of me
in tears
one drop containing
each a piece
of what you thought
your love would be
I fail
I will, be lost sometimes
gone in fancies
of my crime
penance for
and from the slave
I am now, lost
in other days
I fear
too often
worry much
ten million thoughts
I can not clutch
like a fighter
seeing three
head shot punch
witch one is me
I loose myself
myself I fear
will loose you
when I disappear






 


Details | I do not know? | |

WHY DONT YOU FIGHT ME

I know your temper flares
every time she gets you mad
You turn around and hit her
and I see her looking sad
 
I hear the yells and the screams
man why don't you just chill
She is your woman that you love
not someone that you wanna kill
 
She is the mother of your child
why do you treat her this way
She does what you tell her to do
and look at the price she pays
 
You get angry for no reason
you begin to break things
Call her names that she isn't
after she does everything
 
You use her as a punching bag
you don't care about her pain
She struggles all the time
and she goes insane
 
When I look at her
I see nothing but beauty
You say you are a man
why don't you fight me
 
She cries for you to stop
but you don't want to back down
You keep on beating on her
till she falls to the ground
 
She begs for forgiveness 
but that doesn't phase you
You continue to hurt her
till she's black and blue
 
I feel her pain every time I see her
and there isn't much I can do
But the love that I have for her
is more then true
 
I hear her tears and sense her pain
cant you be a man and let her be
Better yet step in my direction
why don't you fight me
 
Stop making her cry 
stop making her hurt
Leave her in peace
stop being a jerk
 
If you want to be a punk
and try to show your ass
Leave the woman alone
you have no class
 
Let her be and leave her alone
let her live in peace
She deserves better then you
she deserves to be pleased
 
But don't ever lay another hand on her
have some dignity
why don't you come in my direction
why don't you fight me


Details | Free verse | |

The Truth Behind Hate

If Love is blind,
Hate is deaf.
Unable to hear optimism and open minds.
A barrier between reality and distortion.
Truth and Humbleness blocked by the brick wall of stupidity,
A world full of envy and strife,
Selective hearing,
Picking and pruning through the good,
Just to find the bad,
Pain = Hate.


Details | Couplet | |

Birth Of A Child

A woman shattered the night, with her agonizing scream
Sacrificing her might has dawned realization of a dream.

She has given me a wonderful heir, to bear my name
And left her sweet memories, for the spirits not wane.


Details | Rhyme | |

With Him goes a Rose

It was only a few days
On their barren soil
Through a doorway he went
So many lives now spoiled

An explosive device
Plastic in design
Could never be detected
Now a life resigns
 
The regimental medic
Rushes to his aid
To stem his internal bleeding
Through his eyes he fades

His lifeless soul lies lonely
As he is gently stretchered away
Where he will be flown back home
To where the angels play

In honoured ceremony
As he is carried to his carriage
On the tarmac awaits
His fiance, without marriage

In the chapel of rest
She stands in a tear laden pose
Her tribute to her lost one
With him goes a Rose

For tomorrow she will awake
A new day in her life
As she remembers her love
Who would have made her his wife




http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-2.php


Details | I do not know? | |

~~Losing Me~~

The darkness of the pit
is swallowing you in.
I see you looking at me
with that evil, twisted grin.

You know just what you're doing.
You've done it all before.
It kills me when you look at me
while bleeding on the floor.

I've offered you my hand
time and time again.
I've tried to help you change your life.
I've tried to be your friend.

I'll watch you from a distance
but I'll never get too near.
You'd love to take me with you
but my strength you've learned to fear.

If I could help you truly
just to see what you could be.
I'd try ten thousand times again
but I won't risk losing me. 


Details | Light Poetry | |

If he only knew

                       I still love you but I don't know why?
                      It just get's so hard for me to say goodbye
                     Iguess it's because when it comes to love I only 
                     loved that one guy,The same one that would lie
                    and lie and the one that made me cry and cry.
                                          We been threw thick and thin 
                   the only diffrence now he don't love me like he
                    did back then.I use to talk to him everyday and night
                  these feelings I have for him are so hard to fight, I just
                   want him to hold me again and say everything will be alright.
                                          He said the way he is now is because of you
                   and I know in my heart that is true now I'm left not knowing
                 what to do,He breaks my heart everyday were apart if he only
                really knew.


Details | Free verse | |

The Cancer

I've watched her vanish and dietirate into withering roses.

The pain that takes over her body is spreading fast and furious,

and only weakens her!

How can she bring so much light into a room of darkend souls, with her smile,

When she has only those two weeks to remain?

Why her a mother and new bride?

She doesnt want to miss a thing in her young boys lifes.

But... she already knows how it will be and how it will come.

Six days, six days she had before the death withen her took 

one last breath, and she vanished into the atmosphere and left.


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost And Alone

Have you ever been so lost that you feel that you will never find your way out, That 
the whole world has moved on and left you behind. You want someone to come 
find you make things ok again but as you look as far as you can see there is 
never anyone there. You yell for help but again no one is there to hear you. You 
can run but there is no end no way out. You just stop and sit there waiting hoping 
to be found to be some were you belong be loved and cared for, The air keeps 
getting colder and the loneliness darkens you. You start asking God why? But he 
never answers, You think is he even there is he real? guess not you know that 
people in the world have it worse then you but that don't mean you pain don't 
count, It hurts the life you once knew and loved not a perfect one but it was yours 
now is gone, Will you ever find your way back, belong some were? As the night 
comes you lay there and cry yourself to sleep trying to get all the answers your 
heart needs but like you the answers are lost. As you sleep you dream of the life 
you wanted a happy one but then as you start to smile something reminds you of 
what is now gone, And you are lost all over again. Maybe Someday I will be found 
and the world will be right again.


Details | I do not know? | |

Clinging To A Memory

A quiet stream in a secret place
I look in the water and see your face
Sitting here beside me
The way we were before you left me
You touched my hand so tenderly
And promised this was how we’d always be
And now I sit here all alone
With just a memory to cling on
Foolish one they would say 
Did you really think he would stay
He was never yours one would say
And your foolish heart drove him away
Now I sit in a world of my own
Sitting here all alone
Maybe they were right but look there in the water I see
His face smiling up at me
He has come back to me
But alas t is the last thing I see


Details | Free verse | |

Dream Me In Black And White

Color me pretty
The way that you see me but not
The way I see myself

Wash me pure
The way you look at me
With eyes of unconditional love
You overlook my indiscretions
Judgment you never pass
Acceptance is all you offer
You make me a better me

Dream me in black and white
Like old time photographs
Faded
Torn edges
Jagged with time
To preserve the image that you hold of me

Paint me in red
The sweet blood that I left behind
Etching my name in the grain of eternity
So as to never be forgotten

Burn me into ashes
Let me dance on the winds of tomorrow
To feel the freedom
The release from my personal hell
As I soar across the sky of time


Details | I do not know? | |

The Light

~The Light~

I remember the first time
 Voices in my head getting way too loud
Just a little girl unable to enjoy the world around me
I thought there was no way out
Almost took the easy way out
Then I saw something shining at the end of a long dark tunnel
It gave me hope
A reason to believe
As long as I kept my focus on

~The Light~

Thirteen and so very young
Afraid to tell a soul
About the demons in my head
I thought that I had to deal with them 
For myself by myself
Until I slipped and told a friend
Finding out she heard them sometimes too
Helped me feel a little better
It is just too bad she never had a chance to see
Brightness at the end of her tunnel
After she moved away
She just gave up 
Walking away from 

~The Light	~

I felt so bad 
Yet I managed to hide the pain
I always felt inside
Even in my darkest hours
With many attempts behind me 
I kept hoping to see

~The Light~

It is beautiful to see how a family can rescue 
Their fallen 
Just not giving up
Always feeling their unconditional love 
Knowing they were there
It all helped me walk out of that dark tunnel
Embracing

~The Light~

Now I firmly believe it is possible
For the most troubled soul
To find a way out
Without taking the easy way
With love and support
I know you can do it too
As you go through life’s journey
Wherever it may take you 
Always remember to look for and 
Embrace 

~The Light	~

By: Jean Shular


Details | Senryu | |

Shattered Moon Beams

Pop the silver orb
Moon drops splashed upon your wrist
Goodbye on your lips...


Details | Free verse | |

Heroin Hero

  Alone; as you lie on your bed
The stars brighten, serene
Such an ecstatically lovely scene
While these visions float in your head
Imagining hues of purple: divisions of colorful red
Teardrop sparks sprinkle the room
All around in sweetness croon
The words unheard, not said.
   Beauty beheld in radiant eyes
In you resides the strength of Achilles
Though at war within your smile is silly
All and sundry cries
A child unknown, underlies
This babe: birthed in the lion’s den
Whimpering song of saddened sin
Precious glowing guise.
   A moments life on a dealers rate
Mommy’s whoring liquid lance
Living within your secret trance
Ungodly was to procreate
Yet yours is to a tempted fate
To feel, to float, to steal a scream
A life conceived within a dream
With this are you given another date.
   Heaven awaits sweet heroin hero
Innocent babe with your precious grin
What you have now is only ten
Seconds counted backwards to zero
Alone to dwell in your place of limbo
A pasture for you, a bed of clouds
One more broken breath allowed
Goodbye sweet heroin hero.


   BY: DARREN J McMURRAY
       January 21,2008


Details | Prose Poetry | |

That Which Is Real

Oh to be just a friend
To laugh, joke and play with you
Is not something
I know how to do
Oh how I wish it were
For it’d sure eliminate
All this pain I feel
Sometimes it happens
That starting off fun
Turns into something real
And what was meant to make you laugh
Turns into tears
That seem to take
Life’s  breath away
Leaving you to feel
Like there’s so much left to say
If only this, if only that
If I only could, if you only would
So many tricks of the mind
As we try to find
Justification for holding on
To what should be freed
So we can move on
Yet we hold out hope
In each accidental hello
That tides will turn
Though they have long washed away
It’s just the way of life
And how love burns
Until we learn
The difference in what we feel
And that which is real


Details | Senryu | |

The Judgment seat

every man must stand                                                                                             some kneel first time before God                                                                              sadly the last time


Details | I do not know? | |

The Warrior

The Warrior

My pencil is my sword
My eraser is my shield
And when I go to war
My paper is my battlefield 
When life is to much
This is how I express the way I feel
And so I write such words
As murder, stab, kill
When people read these words
Misunderstanding they think I’m insane
But this is just how I vent
All my anger, frustration and pain
People that don’t know me
Think I look like a bad man
The people that say they do know me
Think I live the life of a madman
All of these things
Circling in my head
Sometimes I have to wonder
Would I be better off dead
I used to be a somebody
And my reputation would reflect
That I used to be a person
To look up to and respect
But now you can see
By the trembling in my hands
That all I am these days
Is a tired, broken man


Details | Rhyme | |

Before Her Heart Stopped Beating

Before her heart stops beating
Before it's too late
She has things to say
Things that just can't wait

This pain she's lived with
Has made her push people away
She thought she wasn't worth it
So they weren't allowed to stay

But before her heart stops beating
Before it's too late
She has things she must say
Things that can no longer wait

To her parents,
She's sorry she couldn't hold on
As she lays there while
Her lasts breaths are being drawn

To her family,
Everyone who showed her love
She's sorry she couldn't stay
She had too many things she couldn't get rid of

To her friends,
She's sorry, too
It wasn't their fault
They did everything they could do 

To the guy she left
Waiting for an answer to his question, "Why?"
She's sorry, but she knew
It would be a hard goodbye 

To anyone else
She may've left out
She promises to remember you
When she gets to the end of her route

But before her heart stopped beating
She spoke the words that could no longer wait
Even though her words would reach us 
Too late


Details | Couplet | |

This Time of Year

The air is fresh, mornings crisp and clear
God I do love this time of year
Vibrant colors abound on the trees
Gracefully falling with the breeze
The workday runs from sun to sun
Until the "Bringing in of the crops" is done
I am a lucky man to live this life
Respect of my community and loving wife
Sometimes in life the land yields plenty
The blessings throughout the day are many
As I watch the sunrise to the east
It gives my soul a spiritual feast
For all my friends everywhere
To my Lord a silent prayer
To the north her majesty appears
For all to see beautiful and clear
Forever snowcapped and standing tall
Lady Shasta watches over all
To the south another blessing to see
The Sutter Buttes clouded in mystery
It was the Lord that gave them their birth
The shortest mountain range on earth
The coastal mountains to the west
Offers the sun a place to rest
Followed shortly for all to see
The "Harvest Moon" clear as can be
Then comes a moment that is hard
As I head my "Cat" off to the yard
My final ride of this year
My face accepts a single tear
My heart becomes full of sorrow
I inject myself with poison tomorrow
Thats the price that a junkie must pay
Years after he has changed his way
The reason is very clear to see
I put myself "At risk" to hepatitis C
I can't stop the fear from flooding in
What will it be like to hold a rig again
Through all the loss and all the gain
I reckon that moment will bring me pain
But through the pain I'm able to see
God has his angels covering me


Details | I do not know? | |

A heart so frail

This isn't who i really am
Across my face, there's a veil
A veil that fool the world
Never had it fool my heart so frail

In the cruel world i live in
I'm left alone in the cold
I have to hide my within
Just like a confined soul

Living the cruel reality
Where i'm held to the ground
Where i must pretend who ain't me
Just to fit in the world beyond

I have a dream
So beyond my reach and power
Painful as it seems
Life is a dragging hour!

Doubt my fantasy would be reality
Doubt the cruel world would have sanity
Doubt they would have mercy
On this poor little me...


Details | Free verse | |

For One Moment

For One Moment

An aging actress
Standing on the stage
Her legs are withered and weak
Her looks have disappeared with age
She has played a thousand roles
Harlot, mother, daughter and nun
She played them all
She became them all
Now, she recites lines from her favorite play
But there is no applause
There are no fans in the empty room
She stands alone
Unloved and unremembered
One last line
The curtain will fall on her performance
She has become just a footnote
Someone just mentioned theatre classes
If even then
But standing on a stage in an empty theatre
For that moment she is a star


Details | Free verse | |

The Scar

      
     
           
 They told me..forget it..! 
 They confused me.. 
 They ordered me... 
 "Control your thoughts.."  

 Whenever I see flowers...
 My heart leaps with joy..
 But when I reach near... 
 They wither.............  

 Whenever I see babies... 
 My heart leaps with joy.. 
 But when I reach near... 
 They cry....... 
 
Whenever I look in mirror, 
It frightens me......... 
 THE SCAR ! 
  


Details | I do not know? | |

If sadness ruled the world

I f sadness ruled,
The world would be bare,
And none would wear a happy face.
Crying would be everywhere.
Hateful faces,
eyes pleading to be saved from thier eternal damnation,
no Jovial places
And when somone was happy they died.
Love would not exist
This is because the people would be happy
and you know what,everyone would love oly themselves.
Death would bring the ruler joy
Birth would send in to a tirade
And lovers running off to happiness
Would be caught and worked to the bone.
Narcissitic people would be the richer and that would make them all the sadder,
Their children would got to school and learn about times of despair.
that would shove the happiness down their throats.
so if one is always sad and never glad 
they would be favored in king sadnesses eyes 
So why not go and live in this hate filled kingdom,
With none to love but your sadness and yourself.


Details | Rhyme | |

Just Reach

just reach your hand out to the sky
pull your loved ones back to your side

lets get to say one more goodbye
for we never wanted them to go away and die

as now the days and nights lay 
in such sweet disguise

so let us once again our lord
stare into their illumating eyes

as we reach out for them 
in your broad horizon sky

and get to hold and kiss them
even if their not by our sides

for if this is however feels when we die
then I'd like to be that angel in that sky

so I can just reach out right back
and wipe their tears too from their eyes



Tribute To Our Loved Ones
On The Other Side
May You All RIP


Details | Blank verse | |

the rotting edge of hope & abandon pt. I

when the world falls,
will you be my figurehead queen?
dark regent, of my secret heart & broken-glass dreams
drip waterfall lies from full pink lips
& bleed out your truth(s) to me?
come silently in the night
over plush & supple fields of carpet
into the halls of my half-waking 
& reach for me through the illusions 
& shadows of my own doubt,
so strong, it wraps me up, 
myself all contained & tainted, 
tainting only myself.
be the beautiful & shining falsehood
that brings me back into a world of
the likewise
leaving the torn pieces of the true falsity, the true reality
hanging shreded in the doorway
rotting on the edge of
what was & what could be
be my perfected failure,
my self-less
& self-serving love
my heart is yours;
it never beats the same way twice


Details | I do not know? | |

A Prisoner's Tale

With everyday i wake
The darkness around me advances,
Swallowing me in its pool of misery
To never liven up again.

With every breath i take
I realise that i'm more alone,
Neglected and rejected for a weakness
That i am not to be blamed.

With every step i take,I feel like a puppet. 
Driven around by invisble strings,
That halts my freedom
To the length of string 
To whom it may concern.

With every tear i shed in pain
My wrath and agony aggravate.
Slashed and whipped through day and night
A sufferer i remain.

With every dawn that comes
My hopes of a future will prevail,
Though a prisoner I am and will remain
My hopes will forever lighten my path.


Details | I do not know? | |

What is left to say...

Huddled, hands entwined as one,
the thoughts, the dread
felt like a terrifying storm,
its destruction powerfully felt.

As the tear flowed freely
and anxieties grew,
they clung tighter, closer;
though they already knew.

The room though non-sterile
reeked an aura of death,
for in this solemn room;
their worst fears were met.

As the doctor walked in
eyes stoic, stature tall,
he uttered the words;
your baby is gone.

She fought with the spirit
of one wise beyond her years,
you may be with your baby;
her sweet soul is now free.

Huddled, hands entwined as one,
they wept together, what was left to say.
The drunk driver who killed their baby
in this karmic world;

would pay; would pay.


Details | Verse | |

His Wife

In her cold tomb her spirit lingers,
It was his ring she wore upon her third finger.
A tainted body, so meek, so frail,
Once golden, now so pale,
With long hair and a painted face,
He could still smell her perfume,
But only a trace...
With baby's breath and a single faded rose,
He valued his wife more than diamonds,
To him she was more precious than gold.
Her life wasn't measured by the number of breaths she 
would take,
But by the moments when she took his breath away.
Such an untimely death, as he heard the doves lonely song,
He sat there wondering how life could go on.
Here comes the new dawn,
The sun would still shine.
He would remember her beauty,
Until the end on time.


Details | I do not know? | |

Trapped Inside

Trapped inside This empty house, I start to Scream I start To shout, I fill like I'm About to die, If only I can find My way outside, Tears slowly fill My weeping face, There’s no way To escape this so Called fate, A dark shadow fills My room, He's back to Finish what's now My doom, He slings me against A cold brick wall, I can not walk I start to crawl, A sharp pain Fills my chest, As he begins to beat What’s barely left, I fill as if this Is the end But truly it Has just begun.


Details | I do not know? | |

Undoubted Deception

Now my doubts are clear
The thing i fear have arrived
Though my sadness is contented in a silent tear
I just wonder how i might survive

Now that my heart feels pain
And mixed emotions i tried to contain
The solution to this seems so faint
What should i do when i meet split lanes?

I am afraid to make any decisions
Nor would i want to believe my perception
Am i going to face any deception?
That is my heart frequent question

I, suddenly feel so small
Hiding myself under my veil
I ignore my heart frequent calls 
I get love to no avail

I want to give him a chance
But it seems that it will lead to deception
He won't realize it until everything is done
He won't realize that this girl is one in a million

Let it be what it has to be
Though i know my heart needs to be free
I am hurt by the future i am supposed to see
I regretted ignoring my heart recent pleas....


Details | I do not know? | |

Angry me

 I look in your eyes, the colors are changing your not the same person I met in the 
beginning of the season. Why all this jealousy I am only trying to love you and now you 
look at me like an enemy would a foe. Excuse me for thinking this but now your getting an 
attitude. I see the roll of the eyes and the whispers behind my back. It doesn't hurt me 
you know because I could really care less it just angers me that you are still 
pretending. Don't smile if your really mad. Because I am seriously getting annoyed with 
all this deceit. It's obvious that you don't want me around, constantly giving me the 
cold shoulder. Don't you know i'm better off I have people all over the world I don't 
need you. So if this is an attempt to drop me like a egg out of a window please warn me 
before I crack because then it will get brutal. I am mostly a nice quiet girl but that's 
only when i'm relaxed. You don't want to see the demons within me, take advantage for as 
long as you can but you know that as long as your picking i'm steaming. I am boiling 
slowly like water on the stove. Touch me after a while and boy I will get cold. Don't you 
think it's funny, don't you think it's sad. I'm shuffling my feet lonely but true fully I 
am not alone. I just wondering why i'm here... It used to be so much fun. You loved me 
then you loved me way back when. I guess everyone backs out when they find out the real 
me. Anger me go ahead, trouble me, but I've dealt with this before. It's nothing new, 
It's the same old same old and no matter what you do this time I won't fold. So i'm 
angry, just look beneath my brown eyes. Behind that softness lies a hard shell that's 
taken many blows.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Denial

Being in denial is like sitting in an empty house,
with a moonlit forest behind it.

Coming out of denial is the new bird,
that comes and stays a while, with that little 
empty house, but when winter comes, 
he is off on a journey from the heavens above.


Details | ABC | |

Daddy the Alcoholic

Daddy the alcoholic,
 every single day,
full and countless glasses,
 guzzled down,
help him please, and bring my daddy back to me.


Details | Bio | |

Trapped

Feeling trapped within these walls
as I stumble with each fall.
I try to hold my head up high
so no-one ever sees me cry
But in my mind I scream with fear
painting pictures very clear
Please tell me this will go away
for it can't always be this way
I often wonder if it's me
it seems that no-one else can see
pain which dwells deep in my soul
holding tight, not letting go
Yet, these scars which I wear
tell a story I now bare
Scars I know can never heal
reminding me this is real
Tomorrow is another day
and as I stumble on my way
these voices screaming in my head
are silent whispers now instead


Details | Free verse | |

If He Only Knew

She thinks about him constantly
Sometimes, more than she wants to
Her thoughts get carried away
A life that only exists in her dreams
Memories of times they once shared
Days when they talked for hours on end
Through good times and bad
She longs for those times again
Distance has made life difficult
They both have tried to move on
He seems to have found someone new
But for her, no one compares
Her heart aches when hope fails
Times passes without a word
The days seem longer now
Sometimes, she can’t even sleep
She doesn’t understand 
Where is this man she once knew?
She fell in love with him long ago
Their fate seems twisted by distance
Each day brings renewed hope
Her heart still open to love
Hoping her pain will lessen
Destiny still in her dreams
If only he knew

Copyright © 2006   Shari E Davis


Details | Free verse | |

tainted

tainted
the way you see me
the way I believe 
me
to be

never sure
in this swirling
confusion
you call
love
and I call
pity

the way you
care
for me..
take 
care 
of me

giving 
you..
up for
me and
i will 
always
be 
tainted

and you
love..
to see me 
cry
real tears
not the
fake 
ones on our
wedding
day
tears
but the ones
tinted
blue
out of 
saddened 
despair

for you it’s
all the
proof
you 
need…

that I am
still
tainted


Details | Free verse | |

What they see

I wonder what they see...
When they look down at me...
I wonder do they know I feel...
That my emptiness is real.

I wonder if when I die...
Will the tears be real that they cry..?
I wonder if they know I cared...
I trampled my own heart better they faired.

I wonder if they knew the beatings 
were so they would have a dad...
Or that I loved them even when I got mad...
I wonder if they know I prayed...
As lifelessly my body laid.

I wonder if they will listen as the doctors say...
We had to keep her confidentiality to her dyeing day...
I wonder if they know I lived for them out of love...
I wonder if they'll realize I see those that live with god above...
He holds my hand when seizures come and take hold...
Afraid to die knowing to them, they felt I was oh so cold.


Details | I do not know? | |

New World

In an entire new world
It seems there's no one to hold on
Just a lonely girl
Whose joys are shattered and gone

In an entire new world
Where it seems so cold
No worth of a million pearls
But of pride so bold

So now I realized
I'm on your own
Life's a rolling dice
No place a real home

When I trust I'm betrayed
When I love I'm heartbreak
I'm lost in every single way
Consoling the heart always dismayed

To and fro along with the swift currents
Struggling hard to grasp a firm hold
Hanging helplessly in a grip of the tyrant
As its weaknesses I tried to unfold

Someday, I'll claim my rightful place
Where no one can put a halt
In this world i shall ace
Who dares deny my part?


Details | Free verse | |

PestAside

How do words
change
the science of
you
to me?
My heart deems you
know
but you beg me
go.
Anyway.


Details | Bio | |

Explanation Long Overdue

I know it matters little, 
At this time, I am sure,
But I've always felt,
I owed you,
A reason why,
We did not endure...

As I approach,
The final destination,
I've unfinished chores,
I must amend,
And I guess
It's up to each
Of us to tend...

It may sound insane,
In fact, I think it is...
I was feeling too much in love,
Something had to give...
All I'm sure of,
Is this, I do swear...
It was never a question...
Of if I did care...
All I'm sure of, that is,
Whoever followed me,
The luck was his...

I felt I was losing control,
Felt jealous and insecure,
Withdrew into a defensive caccoon,
But there's even more...

I knew I blew my chance
With the most beautiful girl 
I ever had,
One who shared my love,
And to this day I'm sad...

I did what I'm good at,
I ran away and hid,
My life was forever changed,
The dumbest thing I ever did...

I know it sounds insane,
And I'm sure that this is true,
But one thing I can swear,
I never ever,
Stopped loving you.


Details | I do not know? | |

???

how can you make me feel like this
this feelings so unreal 
i want to make it go away but then i want it to stay
i told you that i loved you 
and you said the same thing too
but now it only seems that i am ever o so blue 
i wish things could go back to the begining
and you tell me true
why should i be with you 
when you truely only make me blue


Details | Ballad | |

Martyr for the Unorthodox word

If I had over 10,000 dreams You'd be the only thing my mind could see Judgment couldn't be real Succumbing to the fear of this cold life Find a way to break through The self-destruction of wordly delusions Don't tell me I've lived so long in a lovely illusion Break me down until we find a Nirvanic state Then bring me a savior from transgressions An atoning sacrifice Send down to me a messenger for me to submit to Bring me the truth to break through The delusion Bring me the messenger to explain it all And let me leave behind Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word


Details | Couplet | |

The Black Sheep

Pushed aside, location of home obscured, limited by isolation:
drifting aimlessly - subscribing to a voluntary incarceration.

Outcast by an alternative perspective, a differing sense of direction,
through a desire to develop resolutions to numerable imperfections.

Others recede into bad habits - shirking from every challenge,
placing emphasis on ignoring responsibilities; yet expecting a life that’s lavish.

So it’s hardly surprising when their dreams fall by the wayside,
having taken the easy road too often, they’re fighting against a landslide
to recuperate what was lost, or rather thrown away by being lax and care-free,
they’ve imposed upon themselves a limit, as to what they can achieve.

Armed with the powerful weapon of fore-sight, I clawed myself out of the rut,
but it’s little consolation for having to watch my friends get stuck.
Trying to avoid a patronising tone, I conceal myself into anonymity -
uninspired by foolish games, approaching every overture with timidity.

Wanting to tell them to change, to realise their mistakes,
but sometimes things are hardest to see when they stare you in the face.
It’s their life to live, and do so how they wish -
I just pray they realise: there’s more to it then “getting pissed”.


Details | Rhyme | |

She was only 5

She was only five and this is what
happened when she was alive

Ser dad was a drunk her mom was an addict
They always kept her locked up in the attic

Her only friend was a toy bear
and it was old and worn with patches of hair

She always talked to it when nobody was around
she layed there and hugged it with not a peep of sound

Until her parents unlocked the door
some more pain she'll have to endore

Bruise on her leg scare on her face
why would she have to be in such a horrible place

She grabs her bear and softly cries
she loves her parents but they want her to die 

She sits in the corner quiet but thinking
god why is my life always sinking

Such a bad life for a sad little kid
she got beaten and beaten for anything she did

And then one night her mom came home high
and she got beaten as the hours went by

Then her mom suddenly grabbed for a blade
it was sharp and pointy the one that she made

She thrusted the blade right in her chest
you deserve to die you worthless little pest

The mom walked out leaving the girl slowly dieing
she grabbed hey bear and again started crying

The police showed up at the small little house
and quickly barged in everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly opened a door
to find the little girl lieing on the floor

It must have been hard to go thourgh so much harm
but at least she died with her best friend in her arms

A child dies every day from child abuse and if you have an ounce of pity in your 
heart for little auorura and you hate child abuse do something about it and let 
them know that someone cares about them


Details | Free verse | |

Yours

I understand
the need for redemption
when all they do is ask about me
and the phone company has never
even heard your voice.

The scar on your leg
hasn't yet faded from our accident
four years ago (you study those
scars every day, as if searching
for blame)

and you find it

buried beneath cobwebs of
false hope and deflected
stories of the life you had
and the life you have…
I can do no right
here, within the 
wish-I-was.

If I were stronger maybe
or you less so,
I’d bandage your wounds 
and rock you to sleep
but you are motion-sick
and healing just fine
without me.

How long before the
questions subside?
Will you answer in the
voice of pride, or reason?
Six years’ fallacy, or
merely unfortunate?

My legs are torn too,
but I don't wear shorts in the summertime
(I never tan anyway)
and I never said I was beautiful.


Details | Lyric | |

The Escapist's Plea,

I dont know where i'm going anymore hard to tell who you are when the indiffrency has settled in cold, empty, barren will i ever find a way? Help me find a way out of this sorrow filled cage My soul singed with everyday Reality so hard to face I need to find a way to escape Only if i could just fly a way I try to stay sane But i fell under the september rain A repuiem for the reality That i never wish to see Help me find a way out of this sorrow filled cage My soul singed with everyday Reality so hard to face I need to find a way to escape Only if i could just fly a way I need a way to escape, Only if I could just fly away


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate...

The collision of my feelings,
And the confrontation of words,
The lies,
All the lies…
Hatred, hate, all the hate,
I hate…

Drown in my pain,
Until you suffocate,
And free yourself from me,
To free me,
I hate…

A million words burn in me,
A thousand screams call for freedom,
For salvation,
But my soul is abandoned
In the void,
I hate…

Let me fade away,
Let me turn into black,
Let me dissolve into nothing,
To free me from myself,
I hate…

Fear,
Free my fearful heart,
And take me away,
Anyone…
Let these words stop:
“I hate.”

Break the chain of eternity,
Kill the immortality of my torment,
Let my blood flow in my veins,
And let the air circulate
In and out of my body,
I hate…

I hate…
You…and you,
I hate life,
I hate me,
I hate…
Everything,
Hate, hate, hate,

“Hate , hate , hate”
I woke up saying,
With the letters,
“H” “A” “T” “E”
Sliding between my lips,

I cried loudly,
For I felt it,
I felt the hate,
Conceal all my feelings;
I felt it make me grab a knife…
I stabbed myself!
I stabbed my heart…it made me stab myself…
Just to free itself from me,
And to free me,
Forever…  


 



Details | Free verse | |

Story

Things weren't suppose to end this way
They weren't suppose to end at all
I never planned a goodbye with you
You were suppose to stay here with me
But as each day rolls on
I come to see
That that story
(The one I invented)
(The one I hoped)
Will never come to be
And even though
you're with her
And not with me
It makes me happy to know
That you and her were meant to be


Details | Rhyme | |

soul and sorrrow

silent spirit,
screaming out,
eyes flood,
shed your doubt,
washing hearts,
to keep them clean,
always hidden,
love unseen,
bluest eyes,
oh so clear,
i give in,
to what i fear,
falling now,
into the sky,
have no time,
to wonder why.
 
 
love and glitter



Details | Free verse | |

Autism

O, I love my dear boy
So dearly and so blindly
I will give him my blood
And life if God permits so

He's so weak and sick
So pallid and so tender
But I know he's an umbrella of snow
In the wide-brimmed form

A rhyme, a loft 
Almost in the spelling of my own world.



Details | Rhyme | |

RAIN

rain falls from the sky
endless lonely nights go by
the darkness from the heavens above
mirrors a life missing true love
slivers of moonlight shine on a girl
who's praying to find her place in this world
beautiful stars sparkling bright
reflect on a girl whose almost lost sight
for not long from now the moon may be whole
a wonderful man may find his way to her soul
until that day comes she'll just soak in the rain
because feeling it fall takes away all her pain


Details | I do not know? | |

Just Call Me Abuse

My name is abuse that is all I need to say
But just for your sake I will go on anyway.
I take pride in putting people in financial bind.
My favorite thing to do is to work on your mind.
I will destroy all you can be and make you believe that you deserve me.
After awhile you have no self-esteem left all you can comprehend
Are only the thoughts of suicide and death?
There is another part of me the physical side.
This something I have to be very cleaver on for this is very hard to hide.
I will take you from drinking soda out of mugs.
To entertainment by sniffing and using all hard-core drugs
I will take a beautiful woman and turn her into a punching bag.
When I am finished she will look like an old washed up hag.
Yes I can do all of this and yes I do mean to brag
I will turn faces all black and blue.
Oh look out I am going to get you too.
Oh no I’m not finished yet.
I can destroy your emotions too do you want to make a bet
I will take a confident man and turn him into a child playing in the sand.
The most pleasure I get is to destroy relationships, they no longer were a 
wedding band.
When I am finished with you nothing will ever be the same.
You will always be keeping your guard up always being in shame.
I will take all your family love
Then turn it into hate to shove.
I love to destroy remember my name is abuse.
What form of pleasure do you want me to use?


Details | Rhyme | |

The King Of Pop

from his abc's
to that freaky billy jean

came a pop star 
for all to love and see

from the apollo's stage
wondered if you were ready for screaming rage

for you never had a childhood of bliss
only done what was on joseph's list

a studded white glove 
and white socks just because

a star on the hollywood walk of fame
for you sang and danced showing no shame

scandals of twisted truth
did not detour you from your missing youth

neverland was your own safari escape
who would figure your best friend would be a chimp of faith

michael may god cradle you in his arms
and basked in your king of pops worldly charm

will forever miss that porcelain smile
and always think of you on my radio dial

for now your at your heavens trial
may god forgive this lost and lonely child




In Loving Memory Of
Michael Joseph Jackson
Aug 29th 1958 - June 25th 2009

           RIP


Details | I do not know? | |

Love is Vain

Some will say, that I must be vain
To express in poems, such heartfelt pain
Of loves gone wrong, and broken hearts
Yet these words, so sad and blue
In each of us, we know are true
For all of us have loved and lost
And asked ourselves, is it worth the cost
To find true love and risk that pain
If I say yes, does that make me vain?


Details | I do not know? | |

A Saving Grace From

A saving grace from
The stormiest weather 
A sun to shine down upon
Drying up my sopping tears
To place them in a basin of
Your love


Details | Acrostic | |

INVISIBLE

Ignorant to the favoritism; a desire to be special too
Naïve to all the sarcasm and criticism; finding it easy to subdue
Validity still not broken as I feverishly try to understand 
Insanely searching for something; waiting upon your command
Silence numbs my body; reaching out for a delusion to hold
Imperfect vanishing appearance; a love so wrongfully cold
Brazen on the outside; while dying on the inside all alone
Love is all I ever yearned for; not this affection carved in stone
Eagerly waiting for a sign; will you see, or are you forever blind?

© Stacy Lynn Stiles


Details | Free verse | |

PLUNGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEEP, YOU FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello loneliness it's me, I called but no answer, makes me think your avoiding me
I saw your friend regret the other day and she said you were doing awful, She said you 
had gotten down and out because many people, have forgotten how good you can make them feel
They have forgotten, just how bitter-sweet your presence delegates them
Hey! Loneliness? what time is it in denial? I just thought I would tell you, I haven't
forgotten
I will always remember cold and hot days when a wall to a closet I was hiding, was a gift
from you
Oh! and don't think I forgot how you stayed with me and talked me through the slices on my arm
I couldn't have carried that out without you, You made me see that nobody will be around
like you,
I cut so deep that for a second I was wishing to see the color blood bones makes, sounds
sick?...
Just like me, I'm unhealthy in fits of rage but oh! I know that's just you morphing into
insanity
Do you remember also, when I called out names of those who said they cared?
Me neither never met them before but if you see them, tell em' I cry by blood and mark by
knife
I shoot like bullets, I hurt like broken, But don't you see? This is the price I pay for
loving you...
Loneliness!


Details | Tanka | |

Photographic Memory

All points meet at you~
the sky, the sun, the water.
A still photograph
holds my happiness in ink.
I pretend that you still smile.


Details | I do not know? | |

Was It Really Worth It

Sitting in a hotel on a cold winters night
My eye caught a vision of someone walking by
A guy who smiled and said “Hi.”
I said “Hi” back
But little did I know 
He would be the love of my life for almost a year

As time went by
You couldn’t separate my love and I
We spent days talking and singing
We spent nights laughing and dancing
We had our happy times 
We had our sad times
But together we got through

Then the night came
I got a phone call
My love said that it just wasn’t working
It was hard but I said “OK,” and went to bed
I cried myself to sleep
But felt better in the morning

Two weeks past, I got another phone call
It was my love that left me two weeks ago
He asked if we could give it another try
I said “yes,” because I still loved him

So we spent days talking and singing
Nights laughing and dancing
It was fun while it lasted
For three months or more
He held me tight and said “I love you”
It was better then the first time

Then June came, It was my birthday
He called to say he wasn’t coming to see me
He said that we were through
So I cried till my eyes were red and sore

I read the old love letters over a thousand times or more
I thought of all the times we were together
I recalled the times he said “I love you”
But through it all we stayed friends

Then one night he came to my door
Said that he wanted to talk, said he had troubles
“Ok,” I said in a small voice
Then after a while he turned wild
He grabbed me, he hurt me
I was bruised and sore
I was scared, terrified 
I was weak and tired
For what he did to me
Was it really worth it?


Details | I do not know? | |

A dream into a nightmare

The wound is deep,
the pain pure hell.
If I will heal 
only time will tell.
Memories to keep
of our past together.
All that I feel
will be there forever.
The sunshine that came
on the first day we met,
growing closer to each other
every night that it set.
Then out of the blue
something went wrong,
love lifted away
by a wind that was strong.
We tried to pick up the pieces
that the storm left behind,
distance growing between us
was all we could find.
We try to say it's over
but, our love is still there?
It's confusing to me,
it just doesn't seem fair.
I'm going to live my life
and try to remain in control.
I'll find the strength that is needed
for protecting my soul


Details | Couplet | |

My Best Bud Joe

I sit and think what could have been	
a life with Joey, my best friend.

The many things we could have shared,
The special way he showed he cared.

At age fourteen he stood six foot five
Was big and strong and so alive.

Why wasn’t I there that fateful day
To try and save his life some way?

I had no way to say goodbye,
Why did he go, why did he die?

At first I blamed my God for this,
For taking him, the life he’ll miss.

But since I’ve come to understand, 
It wasn’t God but the fault of man.

The careless company that took him away,
Should be made to suffer, made to pay.

I’m still so mad it hurts inside,
I miss him so, I feel deprived!

It’s so unfair he died so young
Not knowing what he could become.

Now he’s gone and I’ll never know
How life could be with my “Best Bud Joe”.

  


Details | Imagism | |

Once upon a time ago

I loved it when I seen you smile
It was a sight that was worthwhile
Your smile was so sweet
Whenever we would meet
 
I wondered why you were always happy to see me
I guess it was because I made you feel so free
You were in love with me for so long
I didn't know but I loved you too all along
 
I still don't understand why you never told me
Even when we were alone under your tree
You had so many chances to say it
Were you afraid of what would happen if you admit
 
I never thought you did cause you had a crush on my friend
Or did you only pretend
I was so stupid and blind
Whenever I thought of us together I thought I was going out of my mind
 
Once I told you how I felt
You said you felt the same and made my heart melt
Now you say you never really cared
Is it because I hurt you and now your scared
 
I think that it's more than just that
You say bad things about me to your friends whenever you all chat
Well you want to be that way then
Whatever boy cause this is The End


Details | Lyric | |

Seed

To lie is like a seed being planted into the soil,
and just waiting for it’s down roots.
Every time another lie is told this seed gets water,
as the watering continues, the seed begins to grow.
And up sprouts the plant, the plant in which you the individual has given life to, for 
this seed is not a flower, is not a tree, is not a fruit to give to thee, but a weed, a 
weed of such destruction that destroys all other life surrounding it. By taking it’s 
roots, the roots of pure loving flowers, pure loving fruit and pure loving small 
trees.
Destroys them.
Strangles them.
As this weed continues to get watered it shuns them, grows taller then them, 
allows them no sun light, allows them no room to grow or to breath, so in the 
end, they parish.
And all of the truth that was planted before this has died, and the only thing left in 
your garden,
Is your pathetic life.
And this weed,
That was once a SEED. 
 


Details | Quatrain | |

To some a treasure

You think how much you hate your house
you despise the ancient floors
You abhor the broken cupboards
Will you always be this poor?
You gaze up at your bedroom roof
You see that it is leaking
You dream of owning fancy things
That selfish ones are seeking
You glance around the dingy room
and think it dark and dreary
How sad, how lonesome, that it seems
As if growing old and weary
Your bed, it lies a little crooked
and your carpets growing old
Summertime is way too hot
And winter gets too cold
Its raining now, its really pouring
Its leaking through your window
The sill is filling up with water
And it soon will overflow
You lie in your crooked bed
As you write this pain all down
The walls are just so melancholy
A sad and dingy brown
Your selfish thoughts lead to another
As he wanders lonely streets
Rain is pouring down on him
It's coming down in sheets
He's coughing and he's crying
And he is dreaming of a place
Where he can rest his weary soul
From troubles he must face
It's not riches that he's praying for
I do not have a doubt
This man is wishing desperately
To have what you complain about




Growing up in California on the Tuolume river was some sad business. There are homeless 
people all over the place. It breaks your heart. I always wonder what their story is and what 
caused them to be there. The little things in life matter and sometimes we forget that. Some 
mens' trash is another mans' treasure.


Details | Imagism | |

dignity

across rooms gust strong winds
emptiness without formed cracks

shook narrow confines
from the darkness within

indeff,rent,rent songs
nostalalqiques dreams
attentive inhumane screams
desire to belong

to accept dignity
speak sweet
accept defeat and
smile throu tormented peace.


Details | Free verse | |

Painful Sorrow and Loneliness

I’m sitting on a park bench…in the rain
Crying, with no one to console me…
I lost my family…and I lost my friends
And what’s worst is that my love left me…
I never knew that loneliness could hurt so much
And I never thought that it could happen…to me
Well I guess I was wrong…

These tears of mine won’t stop falling down my face
With every tear that drops, it represents
The pain I caused everyone in my life…
I can’t turn back time, though I wish I could
And correct all of my mistakes and live happily!

Now I walk home alone…with nothing
On my mind, except for misery…
I sit in the corner…where it is dark
So that I can escape reality…
I never knew that sorrow would hurt me at all
Because I believed that I was too strong for that
But I guess that I was wrong…

The pain in my chest won’t go away
With every tear that drops, it represents
The loneliness that I experience everyday in my life…
I only pray that God above will
Help turn my miserable life around for me!

These tears of mine won’t stop falling down my face
The pain in my chest won’t go away
With every tear that drops, it represents
The pain I caused everyone in my life…
I can’t turn back time, though I wish I could
And correct all of my mistakes and live happily!
With every tear that drops, it represents
The loneliness that I experience everyday in my life…
I only pray that God above will
Help turn my miserable life around for me!


Details | Free verse | |

If I Forget

If I forget,
Remind me of your name
As it must have slipped away.

If I forget,
Show me a photo of my face
As it surely has changed.

If I forget,
Take my hand back to that place
For I've certainly lost my way.

If I forget,
Breathe a gentle breath in my ear
If will calm my fear and rekindle the flame.

If I forget,
Bring the heart straps
That held me to you like glue.

And if I forget,
Carry the memory of us
It is lost but a treasure on a raft on the waves...

TRS, 09/13/08


Details | Free verse | |

Innocence of a Child

Mister,
Why did you hit Mommy?

Mister,
You can't punish me,
You're not my daddy!

Mister, 
You say not to hit,
But your actions declare you a hypocrite.

Mister,
You push Mommy down,
But you say not to tell unless I say she fell.

Mister,
I try my darnedest to be good,
But you say I'm not action like I should.

Mister,
You hurt my feelings,
But you say you're just teaching me something with meaning.

Mister,
You come home with more than just Mommy,
But you say I saw nothing

Mister,
The night you came home drunk,
You know the night you shot Mommy with a shotgun . . . 
The night you left her beaten, bruised, scarred,
Bleeding on the ground. . . 
The night she went to sleep and never woke up

That night I was left alone,
Helpless,
Nowhere to go.

Mister,
Why did you do it
When you said you loved Mommy?

Mister, 
Why did you leave me stranded 
When you said you cared about me?

Mister,
Because of you
I am left here to die
Beside this dumpster where you told me to lye.

Mister,
I've been waiting here like you said,
For days,
Weeks,
Months,
But you r face I have not seen

You have let me down, Mister,
But that is nothing new.

You always told me to be a good child,
So I will.
With what's left of me, 
I will wait,
Calling your name . . . 

Mister . . . ?
Mister . . . ?




Details | Rhyme | |

Somebody To Love

I have no roof to shelter under
When the sky begins to rain
For an umbrella through the thunder
I will always hope in vain.


Details | Lanterne | |

TURMOIL

My
heart breaks
within me-
deep inside I
weep-
peace
is so
elusive
my mind cannot
sleep-
is
love so
unreal,
is it out of
reach-
who
will be
true to me
and their promise
keep-
if
I say
a prayer,
will faith take a
leap-
do
you have
an answer,
to life...fathoms'
deep.


Details | Free verse | |

The Arms of a Stranger

The odor of warmth and affection,
The feeling of love and protection,
An isolated heaven of love;
I lay in his arms like an angel,
Like a white dove,

At the moment,
I am living an endless time
Of eternal happiness,
Life seems to be everlasting…
Life now, is a colored painting 
Of smiles and joy,

Words slithered between his lips,
Like tiny insects sliding on the petals
Of a bright-colored flower,
I contemplated his beauty as 
I heard his tender voice whisper,
“Thy beauty is like the azure sky.”

Perfection is what I am seeing,
His words kept on repeating
In my head;
In his arms I lived another life…
A nirvana created by his glaring eyes,

“Thy beauty is a mosaic picture on the walls of heaven,”
His words swayed like the dancing waves…
I lay there inertly,
With a river of feelings penetrating 
My soul like an addictive kiss of his,
I smiled…   

--------------------------------
My feelings suddenly shifted,
I felt tiny droplets of water condense
On my cheeks,
Were they tears?

My anguish was immense…
Sadness and grief formed
A body of confusion that mystified 
The fantasizing feelings I had felt,

Here I was,
In your arms;
My ally, the person I shared my life with…
You held me tightly trying to ease
The pain I was feeling,
The pain created by you…

The tears in my eyes created a reflection of
My sufferings,
The sufferings that tend to draw a continuous
Picture of your betraying eyes…
I cried and cried as I felt your arms
Hold me tighter,
I felt no comfort at all…

I closed my eyes trying to place myself
In “his” arms again,
The arms of the stranger 
That allayed my soul like tender music,
Like a harmony created by the soft,
Emerald leaves that danced with the wind…

I smiled again…






 
  


















Details | Free verse | |

Dreams upon the Bay

At the beginning of the pier as I gaze outward,
My path appears narrow, straight also so definite.
Cascading light, showed far away shadows, un-brightly.
Precious clouds portray, a show, remembering the night.
Shallows, which shimmer on each side of my walking pier,
Have such images, bringing darkness, pressing upward.
Mocking my memories, discoloring forward thrust,
I slowly walk closer the images grow bolder.
The faded beauty, which I first saw before me, quakes,
Its’ reflections, at first reaching the pier of my life,
The light begins to concave as I go closer, end.
Broadening outward, beckoning me to follow, now,
Both beauty and darkness haunting me, this moonlit night,
As good and evil, being opposites, thus challenge.
Equally, our night dreams must survive upon the bay.


Details | I do not know? | |

Crying Sorrow

There is nothing left in my life
I start to cry as I grab my knife
I hate the world and my mind
Afraid that I will get left behind
I sit in the shadow when I feel cold
Killing myself and losing my soul
No one can save me
They never cared
Losing blood I'm very scared
Starting to fade and losing the fight
I cry on this cold and lonely night...


Details | I do not know? | |

Take this pain away

Take this pain,
Take it all away.
Take my life, I don't care to see another day.
Take your apologies. Take them to someone who cares.
Take this pain,
Take it away.
Take this knife, take my life...
Take this blade,slide it across my wrist.
Take this pain away for this is my dying wish.
Take my body gently lay it down.As the blood flow starts,
take my memory and with it never part.
Take these words as i promise my revenge, my death will be avenged.
As though a mystery to the mind, loved one's will soon find that you are the 
reason for 
my early depart.
My killer was you........For you were the one who put the pain in my heart!!


Details | Imagism | |

liquid senses

Another unwanted
passes through memories
down mundane streets 
suburbs undaunted

available liquid pass
tempted nostril senses
youth invaded stolen by
unpure pretenses

soft like shreds of life
tears of laughter
preserve treads
to a childhood lost to
hereafter 


Details | I do not know? | |

Comparison

A distant voice is like a fading colour
a muted version of reality
I'm hiding from the noise, always under cover
in fear of losing gravity.

A solitary flower laden with dew
the scent hangs heavy in the air
I scan the landscape exploring the view
my eyes straining from the suns glare.

I am that solitary flower who is forever losing its colour
telling myself it will be alright
as I once again take my cover
and settle down for yet another lonely night.


Details | Rhyme | |

Celebrity

As the car door opens, she steps out.
She is beautiful, beyond all doubt.
Her dress is as elegant as a ballerina’s dance.
All eyes on her, gazing in trance.
Her audience applauds her as she walks by.
She fakes a smile when she wants to cry.
She wants to escape this overwhelming life.
It saddens her that there is always strife.
She greets the others as she walks in.
They give her looks and also grin.
She wonders if they feel the same way.
Maybe on the inside, they are not ok.
Do they feel the pressure to always act out?
Drinking and partying, that’s not what life is about.
How can we be an influence when our morals are gone?
Even though we hurt, we continue to push on.
Sometimes she wishes she could go back to being just her.
The movies and spotlight is not what she deserves.
She feels the need to fulfill everyone’s desire.  
It takes control like a consuming fire.
She has grown weary with all the fame.
Life isn’t easy when there is no one else to blame.
The need for a normal life is there.
In the end, all she has is prayer.


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

I Remember

I remember the day
I heard you died,
I remember just how hard 
that I cried.

My heart ached more
then I felt it could be,
Just by knowing you 
were not here with me.

Even though you have
gone away,
The memories of you 
are here to stay.

You were like a
sibling should be,
Now you are a guardian
angel to me.


Details | I do not know? | |

My darkest days

In the dark days, everything goes away. But the Pain will stay. If only I could cure 
the worlds sickest. Take the pain and make me the weakest.  Out there 
somewhere MY dreams will be filled. Since I’ve changed, since I stopped taking 
those Pills. Everything revolved around me, but now I’m not so friendly. More pills 
to ease the pain, more pills to take me away into lightest days.
	The Lightest Days were we all roam and play, the sick and pain will 
go away. Better than ever. Nothing to Level, but still the bumpy road is in the past. 
My life was hard, my chances are far. But I’ve made it, last into the days of the 
past.


Details | Ballad | |

THE KIND-HEARTED MRS ADAMS

We drove by her run-down house
with faded green shingles
and boarded-up windows,
a sad feeling overwhelmed us;
many times we helped her
to cut down the thick grass 
and in return she gave us 
three yellow flowers 
as a token of her gratitude... 
no one else could have cared more!

"These flowers are for you,darlings,because
you helped me plant them in the soil,
and they've grown to be tall and beautiful
in a garden so tidy and nice!" 
she exclaimed in jubilation;
"Remember me by when
I'll reach my home...to dwell
in the presence of the Lord,
and I'll be looking down on you and
pray with all angels to keep you safe and well!'
she gladly said with resignation,
foreseeing what  she couldn't explain...

She told us about her sweetheart,
whom she loved indefinetly:
from the moment they met,
to the day he peacefully died:
a lovely and faithful wife
was all he wanted and dreamed;
and their marriage lasted 
longer than they expected to be...
to be taken with them,
not being afraid of death!

"This is the grand piano I sed to play
for my husband on his last birthday;
he laid his arms on my shoulders
and sang along with me for hours:
on those snowy nights without moon...
when romance was rekindled with kisses
and the sentimental tunes
took away our winter's blues!"
she murmured with deep regret,
until her light eyes became wet...

The decaying house was put up for sale,
and only these kids have a story to tell
about the nicest person on that block,
who once was the prettiest girl-scout...
who loved us as much as her own children;
but did she deserve to be forgotten and die alone?
And if you wonder what her name was,
she was the kind-hearted Mrs Adams!


Details | Verse | |

Believe in me

I saw your tears,
I knew something was wrong,
I knew with my mother,
My son didn't belong.
I saw the pain that you held 
deep inside.
I never wanted to leave you,
or ever have to say goodbye.
I chose for you to sleep safe in a bed,
instead of our car,
making sure you were fed,
was most important by far.
I wish I could take all the tears and
sadness away,
to correct all the wrongs and the mistakes that I made.
All you wanted was my approval, my affection and my love,
Yes, I know saying the words, just wasn't enough.
If I could go back in time          
I would have put up a bigger fight 
I would change it all today, 
to make your life a little more kind.
I would be to you all, what a mother should be,
I love you with all of my heart,
I just wish you could see,
All I ever wanted was for my children to believe in me.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Sisters Plea for Acceptance

I'm not sure what you think of me
I'm not sure that you know
You tried to make me out to be
In your perfect little row

I'm not the type of person
who conforms with all the rest
Rest assure that when I'm done
My life will be proven blessed

Do you care to understand
The things that I enjoy?
Or would you rather reprimand
All the fun that I employ

I cannot make you love me
I do not have that power
though I long to have you see
I am an amazing flower

I thrive in the hottest sunlight
I soar in the coldest snow
In the rain I take to flight
In the wind I continue to glow

My lifes not on a timeline
I have no stoneset plans
But your blood is as mine
So please love me for who I am.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Love That Can Never Be

                    You stand before me proud and free
	At first I thought you were a fantasy.
	You're smile, your touch so real to me
	I need to know what you want of me.
	I try to understand
	Why you have come to this strange new land
	So out of place in this land today
	Yet I want you so to stay
	I feel you are a part of me
	I feel I need you here and you need me
	I hope and pray I can find a way
	To make you stay here in present day
	My brave warrior proud and free
	Take my hand and stay with me
	Together a whole new world we will see
	Let me give my heart and soul to thee
	But alas you are just a fantasy
	And a love that can never be


Details | I do not know? | |

help wanted apply within

why are things not the way they seem
cut wrists not seen as a silent scream
and crying is seen as crocodile tears
not the emerging of your inner most fears

the pain in your head caused by tension
and pills being popped for attention
how many doors need to slam?
before you realise they don't give a damn!!

how many times we try to please
so we can feel at total ease
and many times we stop to look
at broken hearts and the time it took

what started as a tiny tiff
nasty words come fast and swift
and how many lives will it take
to part true love with the fake

why do the good always die young
when only half their time is done
sitting at night all alone
no-one To talk to on the phone

other people sit alone with their strife
praying for someone to sort out their life
sitting alone they slash their wrist
add another suicide to the list.


Details | Free verse | |

I hate to know how you are, Just remember what you did to me

I can see right through you, don't you know? ha!! 
You don't know me, but I know you, isn't that funny?

Can't you see what you put me through? 

I am very amused by this you see, don't ask why
I have no answer to reply.

But in the end it will all turn out fine.

Because I can read your mind.

awhh and I sieh, 

You don't remember why.

But here I am waiting for you to remember when and why.


Details | Rhyme | |

Listen

Listen to the whispers,
Listen to the lies.
All about this little girl,
That always has tears in her eyes.

Listen to the giggles,
As the girl suddenly falls.
Listen to the things people say about her,
As she walks down the halls.

She has no friends,
No one to call.
No one to talk to,
No one at all.

When she gets home,
from school everyday.
She grabs a knife,
And cuts away.

She cuts her wrists,
Never too deep.
But just enough,
To make her weep and bleed.

But now she’s getting sick of it,
Sick of all her pain.
So she grabs out the knife and finally decides,
She’s going to end her life today.

So she finally goes for the final slit,
And then she says “this is it”.
She puts it on her wrist and pushes down,
And in an instant she falls to the ground.

So, now listen to the whispers,
Now listen to the lies.
About the little girl,
That because of them ened her own life.


Details | I do not know? | |

weakness

Weakness takes me apart like a blaze
Flames surround me as I lay
My weakness gives in
To the devil’s den

So many things I refuse to say
Day after day
Moments pass by like love
Float into the sky above

Weakness engulfs my rage
As I look and see an old mage
Waving his staff to the heavens
Counting by sevens

7,14,21,28
Reminds me of my first date
35,42,49,56
Reminds me of the evil’s den

Every word that comes out
Seems to have no sound
I scream at the top of my lungs
As rays hit my skin from the sun

Burning me from outside in
Turning my flesh red within
Demons sing about
About all of their doubt

As another day arrives
The 7th dies
Enrage with murderous thoughts
As another bad lung coughs 

Our weakness surrounds us all 
With a scary wall that stands so tall
No way out I say
As I wave away another day 


Details | Lyric | |

Mirror with a Gun

Cast attention on the dreams we have caught
They’re nothing of our own
Filtering our hearts right through the dark
Until we give in to the unknown

Casting lights upon the pointless death
In the wars that we’ve become
It’s so sad to see what will really die
The part we kill because we run

Cast attention on the lies we create
Manifesting every fear
Will these walls protect me from the pain?
Will the static drive the tears?

Casting lights upon the obvious truth
That we can’t remember love
Because every notion that we think is right
Was not handed from above

Cast our questions into timeless stone
It’s time to walk away
Step again into the lonely dark
It’s time to feed the pain

Casting spells that only weave an end
This is what we’ve become
Friendly faces that will kill again
We’re just a mirror with a gun


Details | Lyric | |

ONLY IN DREAMS

I had the strangest feeling
Wanting to live in dreams
But its only there I could have her
The lady I love so true
It makes me feel so blue
That I could have her only in my dreams

And when the night has ended 
And the day has began
I turn to a sad and lonely man
Knowing she is out of my reach
And the distance can’t be breached 
Except only in my dreams

She must know how I am feeling
'Cause she sends me reeling
 Every time she says
You’re wasting your life away
Trying to live in dreams
Wake up from your dreams

In the real world I look cool
I got everyone fooled
But nothing is as it seems
Cause I only want to live in dreams
To love her in my dreams
To stay living in dreams

Strange as it may seem
That is what  all the world means to me
To be living in dreams
Nothing better that life can bring
Than what I get in dreams
The lady who is my queen woman of my dreams

I really need a break
I’ll put everything at stake
You can take my life away
If it’s the price I have to pay
For wanting to live in dreams
With the lady of my dream

For ATP


Details | I do not know? | |

the number

if i could count the number of tears
i have cried for you over the years
it  would probably be in the millions
maybe even in the billions
please dont get me wrong
my life goes on because i am strong
somedays i even have a good day
and think maybe i know my way
but deep inside i will always feel alone
because a big part of my life is gone
there is no number that goes that high
because if there was it would touch the sky


Details | ABC | |

A Thin Line

I love you; I hate you
Jealousy is not the cause
Killing you wouldn’t justify
Lustfully breaking the laws

The third line is not an option


Details | Bio | |

If It Was Really Meant to Be

You say you put your trust in me
Why am I not treated that way?
you act as if Im cheating
when you are the one that’s deceiving
of a mischievous heart

When I turn my back 
you go off and cheat
if I was to do you the same
How would you feel?
you might not even care
If It Was Really Meant to Be

Why am I treated the way I am?
you sat and talked to me for hours
more time I just a waist in my lifetime
wondering will true love ever finds’ me
if it doesn’t, I’m not alone
If It Was Really Meant to Be

As I can see with my eyes
you let others walk in between us
let them take what we have
love is wrong,
love is cheat,
all that is left
Can my feelings take the heat?
If It Was Really Meant to Be


Details | Ballad | |

Bruise Me

You always try
to break me down
you always try to knock me out
damage me with just your words
not physical but it still hurts
and all you do is make it worse.

You bruise me
Cut me with your tounge
Brutalize me, cut and binding
as my blood pours from the scars.
You bruise me
and it's really nothing more.

Berate me
go on hate me
it's something you love to do
yell at me, because now i see
there's nothing left for me with
you.
Your eyes so cold, words are old
nothing else that you can say
times running out, it's over now
and your the one who bruised
it away.

You bruised me
Cut me with your silver tounge
Brutalize me, cut and binding
As my blood pours from the scars
You bruised me
And really nothing more.


Details | Verse | |

Pretend

When I feel your warm embrace,
You won't see the tears rolling down my face,
Now you seem so far away,
Dont worry now, I wont ask you to stay.

When you left me,I felt so empty and cold,
You couldn't know how bad that felt,
Your happy now, or so I'm told,
I loved you more than life it self.

You told me you would be there,
All the way to the end,
You said you would always love me, 
But you words were just pretend.

I thought if you really loved me,
you would be right here with me,
But you had other things to do,
You had other places to be.

You were my best friend, you were my heart,
I fell in love at the beginning, right from the start.
Now all alone frightened and scared,
Did you ever love me? Did you ever really care?


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

You took me

When you took me, you were wrong. I was under age and God knows I was'nt strong. I 
was young and you forced me to pretend that my life with my family was nearly at an 
end. You beat me and tortured me day after dayand when you would leave , I would 
feel safe. I'd get on my knees and pray "please lord just spare me one more day".  
I don't eat, I dont sleep, you'd beat me till I was weak. I don't want to die, 
everyday  I'd cry "someone please release me from this pain I feel inside.  I've 
endured so much pain that my body is numb, I silently wait for someone to come.  I 
wish I had wings to fly up above, to sing that I'm home to finally feel loved.  the 
scars from your knife will haunt me the rest of my life.  You left me beaten and 
bloody,I waited for an angel to find me and my wish came true from out of the blue, 
God sent me an angel to show me the truth. I was empty and scared, hoping someone's 
out there who might even care.   was tired and cold.  Will this little lost girl 
soon leave this world?   Someone finally came to carry me home, by the grace of 
god, so that I can move on.   don't know if  I'll get over this, and I'll never 
understand why, how another human being could take an innocent child. You took my 
strength and destroyed my pride, just to satisfy that sickness that manifests in 
your mind.  I can't go back and change what you've done, but I have finally forgave 
you so I can move on. Even though it may take some time  and a lot of searching 
inside,I hope you find peace while your doing your time.  I'll always wonder for 
the rest of my life, why you took me that day for that life  altering ride.


Details | Rhyme | |

Caught Me Off Guard

Somewhere you are sitting
Unaware of how I feel
Then again maybe you know
How I wish that you'd reveal
Every now and then
I like to close my eyes
Pretend that you're with me
The dreams I fantasize
Honestly I wish you knew
The things inside my heart
Everytime I think of you
I wish we weren't apart
Never did I think
That I would fall for you so hard
Can't control the way I feel
It all caught me off guard!


Details | I do not know? | |

Hopeless and Filled With Heartache

Tell me why doe’s the wind blow,
When it seems that almost anything can over power this boat,
The waves rise slowly and surely a storm is on its way,
A day of innocence equating beauty,
For tomorrow may fall,
And today is already gone,
I've decided that tonight is the night,
That I set love aside,
This whole time we're provoking each other in a blinding violence,
The ship rocked and I plummeted into the sea,
And you dove after me,
But now you know that I’m cold,
The mast snaps and the ship floods,
We wash up on a shore and you seek us shelter,
Crying out my name you try to resuscitate me, 
Keep your hands on my chest and wait for a beat,
I'll keep your trust in my arms and pain in my feet
We will all fall in the end.
As the time to rise approaches
No one will take responsibility
So tell me why does the wind blow?


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In this poem i give credit to 4 bands 
for assisting me with the words 
I could not find.

1.Our Last Night
2.As I Lay Dying
3.Dance Gavin Dance
4.As Blood Runs Black

I Hope you enjoyed it


Details | Bio | |

Take'em Away

The broken promises and shattered dreams take'em away.The pent up 
memories the restless nights take'em away.This broken heart and uneven 
thoughts take'em away. Each hectic day and every bit of anger and dismay 
take'em away. The worries and indecision the uncertainties that haunt me
take'em away. The torment and shame the hard times in vain take'em away.
The disdain and fear the fake smiles and constant screams take'em away. 
Comfort and peace are the only feelings I want to stay.


Details | Couplet | |

It's better now

Sometimes, life isn't always how
It looks at first. It's all better now.
I felt so overwhelmed by the world's demands,
But I feel better knowing she understands.
I no longer have to regret the things I've said.
I know now that I can move on instead.
I felt as if I was without that thing I could never find.
Now I'm back in my body and back in my mind.
I found that moment where my world was bright.
I found that the sky's still blue and my world's alright.
Loves are loves, traitors are traitors, but family is always there.
Now I can look nearer for someone to care. 
I hope that everyone can be like me and find shelter from the rain.
Love, family, friends, help, anything to help fight against your pain.


Details | Free verse | |

Them

I walk with them
I experience life but they only dismiss it
I change my ways and they don’t notice 
I fall and they walk on by
I talk and they ignore
I cry and they turn there backs
I hope and they destroy
I laugh and they make me angry
I do well but they have to do better
I feel myself falling and they only notice themselves
I want to scream but they silence me
I want to prove myself but they won’t let me
I want to do rise above but they chain me down
I put on a pretty smile and no one is the wiser
I have them fooled and they don’t even know


Details | Bio | |

Help Her

I started to write you this song
The day that everything went wrong
You think I have it all together
And that I’m as light as a feather
You can’t see the pain from my past
All I ever do is see you fast
You want your life to be perfect
It’s not fair you excel in every subject
It was fine when you were by yourself
My life story is somewhere on a shelf
Now you’re taking someone else down with you
We all used to be stuck together like glue
I can see your pain
I will always feel I’m the one to blame


Details | Free verse | |

Ur Angel of Sadness

I once was your Armageddon, your mystic legend
Times we argued, realized it was foolish and grinned
Times we laughed, time is a luxury we do not have
Let us old hands old man
The lady beside you, she sang a beautiful tune 
The things we don’t want to lose 
The loved ones we hate, similar to the above sons mate
The people we want to please 
Those we set a perfect yet fragile image
Only to be later ceased
Precious moments we so desperately want to keep 
Shh! You speak as though you’re never coming back
But I will not return, best wishes, Ur angel of sadness
I’m a survivor
I work miracles, I was yours
I was everything and nothing anyone would care for 
I am still your Armageddon, your mystic legend
My objectives to make you laugh, smile, and mourn
Your rapture, warriors of eternity, a child lost and torn
Mission suffered massive failure 
Let us hold hands this final hour
For your misery is ours
You can say you loved him
You can say you placed no other above him
Despite how it sounds
The individual will everyone around him
Is the loneliest person around
In memory of those whom titled him “Angel of Sadness”


Details | Rhyme | |

At Night Alone

  So here I sit, at night, alone
  Bored and just too many cigarettes to burn
  So I smoke and I wait, seemingly for a call
  And really just ache, cause it's not coming at all
  You're too many miles away from home
  I feel the distance at night, alone
  I hate you for the restless nights
  And I hate me because I know it's not right
  To sit in front of the computer screen
  Searching for the words I just want to scream
  Not even knowing the pain that I feel
  How to describe what feels so unreal
  I miss, just miss, everything that is you
  Laughing for hours at things that you do
  And how could it be that this is the end
  What was to be a lifetime of new things to begin
  But here I sit, at night alone
  And the numbness inside is all that I know


Details | Rhyme | |

Forbidden

Untouchable, yet close enough to touch.
It's wrong, I know but I want you so much.
You are the compliment to who I am supposed to be.
You are the one who can set my tortured soul free.
To help me to thrive and to inspire me.
It brings tears to my eyes to think of the impossibility.
There are too many obstacles in our way, 
Too many people to hurt, too big a price to pay.
So with a friendship I must be satisfied,
And bury these feelings deep down inside.
It's just that from you it will be too hard to hide,
When I spend so much of the day at your side.
I think that I am going out of my mind.


Details | I do not know? | |

Reflection

I’ve had good times,
And endured the bad
Times I’ve felt blessed,
The moments I was sad
Nightmarish memories 
In the depth of my mind
Try to release the anger inside
Through all that I’ve seen
And everywhere I’ve been
Never did I think,
It could be worse than it was then


Details | Couplet | |

Piece Me Together

Silence and deaf ears.
Sad times and many tears.
Friends and family so relieving.
Eyes and hearts in me believing.
Times of trial hard to recover.
No time or love from another.
Welcoming arms and open hearts.
Help and comfort and a new start.
Take these things and piece me together.
Take away the bad things and I'll feel better.
Haven't you needed this yourself?
Will you add to it or will you help?
  Hold me close and never leave.
  Keep the puzzle together and you'll be an important piece.


Details | Quatrain | |

Alive

Is your soul blood red
A dowry of bitter wine
Spilling mortality
Staining the divine

Is eternity a prison
The rusty knife of time
Carving your senses
Caging your mind

Is flesh a pardon
A tactile bribe
Begging the question
What is alive

Is there a reason
In this chalice of mine
To sip my faith
And fear no demise

Is there a forever
In your crying eye
A word to grasp
When your child has died


Details | Free verse | |

Me, Myself, and My Soul

As happy melodies hum,
Underneath, the sounds of sadness come,
Provoking all the sorrow and fear,
That all hearts are forced to hear,

Looking at the glowing mirror,
Seeing the reflection of “Myself”
Shadow less, I stand,
Contemplating the solid glass, imagining “Me”

Hearing the terrified breaths of “Myself”
While inside, I am touching the joyful “Me”
That an eye no longer can see,
No sympathizing, no sympathy,

Through “Myself” I could feel my lonely soul,
Desolated from the incomprehensible world,
Surrounded by rhythms created by void,
That I hear “Myself” continuously sing,

My soul sees through “Me,”
Unleashing the pain, making freedom surround,
But “Myself” comes and interrupts,
My freedom and my soul begin to corrupt,

“Me,” someone that no longer lives,
Someone that tries to forgive, “Myself”
The person that took place,
The person living a life drenched with dimness,

“Me,” is gone,
“Me,” has disappeared into non existence,
My soul is surrounded by “Myself”
Cherishing “Me” by the colorful memories...


  


Details | Blank verse | |

Not yet.

Yesterday,a ghost of someone better haunting in the shadows that he hath 
banished it to. 
I will bring you back. 
From death and darkness to the light I will resurrect you to former greatness with 
a last hope at her hand. 
Better man she loved so long ago...I am not dead. 
Not yet. 

Wounded child hath sent you in jealousy to live beneath selfish pride and 
careless discontent of the perfect life...of the perfect lady. 
I will bring you back. 
To the surface to resurface faith in those who had given up. 
To heal those hurt by his ways. 
To break the silence. 
Don't lose faith love...I am not dead. 
Not yet. 

Yesterday, I will bring you to life once more. 
Kind and caring, truthful and committed. 
Selfish child sent back...I have much to prove. 
Much to make up.Much living left to do. 
Don't forget Love...I am not dead. 
Not...yet.


Details | Verse | |

Still Here

I’m still here in the spot where I stood as a child,
Where the bikes rattled by and the waterfalls fell,
Where the matches were struck and emotions ran wild,
Where all that remains of the stories to tell
Am I standing here where I stood as a child.

I’m still here in the place where I always remained,
Where rains tumbled down and the snow set in,
Where we played upon pipes and ankles were sprained,
Where all that survives of my kith and kin
Am I in the place where I always remained.

I’m still here on the hill where I always looked on,
Where we played and we talked until it grew dim,
Where the light faded out until it was gone,
Where all that endures of life and limb
Am I on the hill where I always looked on.

I’m still here in the spot where I won’t be for long,
Where we grew and thought life was eternally new,
Where the future seemed perfect until it went wrong
Where all that remains of both me and you
Am I in the spot where I won’t be for long. 


Details | I do not know? | |

On Top Of Failure

On top of failure
Is a lonely Lucifer
Awaiting my arrival
I have fallen below bounds
That were once so familiar to my feet
So, the ground feels different,
Hotter and slightly unstable
Much like my temperament
And in this case
‘F’ does not signify fantastic
But we all know what it means


Details | I do not know? | |

Wrongful made Mistake

 
There once was a girl
who lived in a very small world
she was 11 years old
and thought she looked very pale and old.
Until she went walking 
one day
and was feeling very sad
she met a boy 
they called Chad
he started to boost up 
her head
with all the good things he said.
she believed every little word
know she's about to have a little baby girl.
She finally decided to tell the father 
about the child 
but when she went over 
what she saw was worth her wild.
She seen him 
laying across his bed
with a girl they called Lased.
She ran out of his room
but she wished 
she never believed 
anything he had said 
She told him about the child
and everything he denied
she was so depressed 
she went home and her bed 
she sat and cryed.
Now she has to make a decision
of having an abortion or to keep the child living,
It takes a long time to make her decision
because an abortion
is not worth knowing 
that your mother gave you up the first day 
you were living.
Would you give away an unborn soul
one of God's creations 
a precious peice of gold.
She had to decide 
what to do
then she heard two songs
that sang Can I live and I miss u.
The song had a great toul
for the song
there is one of the most precious soul.
She's decided to raise her child 
and not worry 
about the things he said
that were so foul.
Now she's wondering what's  he going to say to her
when he gets all of his child support papers .


Details | I do not know? | |

~Unforgiving Soul~

Life can be beautiful and long. Or life could be short and depressing. Some people 
act happy when they are sad. Their anger will grow and only get mad.  Fear to live 
can be so strong. Some people will cut life short before they're time. They feel 
the only way out is suicide. For death is a gift that God gave us. But love is a 
choice that some don't follow. The hatred rejection breathes can turn you hallow. 
Your eyes tell the truth of an unforgiving soul. The darkness you seek is out of 
control. One day at a time it consumes you. Then at last your finally threw. You 
are bitter and heartless, angered, and cold. Sooner or later your evil will unfold. 
You have gone into hiding and left the light. Any chance you get you try to fight. 
The pain you buried so many years ago. The scars and fears of an unforgiving soul. 
Your day will come and you will forgive. The child you saved was abandoned and 
hide. Your life is peaceful and calm. Your little baby will grow up happy and 
strong. You saved a life and got yours back. You had so much pain and rage filled 
attacks. You can sleep without the dreams of a viscous man. Everything is Better 
now you can finally think. You stop and wonder why he took that last drink? Why he 
abused your young body? Where he was when he hid? Why he did the things he did? 


Details | I do not know? | |

HAND FULL OF PILLS!

Holding this hand full of pills.
It’s a power of wills
I could end it all.
It’s my call.
No more pain.
No more memories of where it came.

Hand full of pills
Love only kills!
wasted away inside.
save me from what I hide.
No one really sees me.
No one really knows me.

Hand full of pills
a void only death fills.
No more promises or lies.
No more breaking what he defies.
I am you!
Now you are only what’s true.

Hand full of pills
Down my throat It spills.
Ending my hell.
Ending stories I wont have to remember or tell.
I can die!
Just die!


Details | I do not know? | |

Broken

Piercing glares, ripping me apart.
I plead out for help, but the pain keeps tearing.
My eyes hide the pain, but it can't cover my broken heart.
 
Silent screams, haunting my soul.
The pain is killing me softly,
But it is far too slow.
 
Blood rushing down my wrists.
My fear erasing, my pain is all but gone.
I ask you for help, but I took this risk.
I am all by myself, I am alone.
 
My dreams shaded by your memory.
The scars just won't go away! I need you now!
Have you finally figured out how much you mean to me?
 
But it's far too late, my blood fading, along with my sorrow.
You beg for me to live now....why? I have to ask.
But even so, my soul is shattered, there is no tomorrow.
 
I don't want to remember my life without you,
but it's inevitable, I can't remember the good times.
I can only feel my pain,
My life has been over, since the first day that I met you....


Details | Free verse | |

Death

Is death the end to our suffering 
Or the cessation of our existence?
Is death a new journey for our soul? 
Or is death our final eternal punishment?
Or do our souls get to rest peacefully
After a life of trials and tribulations?
Should we cry or rejoice when
Death stares us in the face?
What is death to us?
An end to our sorrow
To our pain 
To our physical imperfections
To our illnesses
To the sins that torment us
Should we fear this unknown phenomena?
Or should we embrace it?
Maybe in death we find the truth
That escaped us during our lives.
Maybe in death we can finally find freedom
To roam in a mystic realm of our own creation


Details | Rhyme | |

To Whom It May Concern

To whom it may concern
I'm already prepared to learn,
To learn the life, life long teaching
There are some goals I need to be reaching
People tells me that, I'm all so young
Really, there's no need to be concern,
So curious adult life could be
But they keep saying relax and be me
From infant to toddler to teenage lifehood
All so much, I'm misunderstood,
Adulthood is so intriguing to me
But they keep saying relax just be free
It's much easier said than done
All I've been trying to do is have fun,
My life as a child was very, very complicated
I use to get so mad and frustrated
Growing up so fast at a young age
I only had time to just turn a page,
Still there are life lesson to be learn
As I continue to write, To Whom It May Concern.


Details | Free verse | |

After All

Tumble me through this nebulous
connection
so
I can
gently touch your fingertip
as you
reach
for November’s sky

Kindly
wrap me in winter wishes
    once upon an icy star
and
warm me with promised
nights of velvet
naked
 
Then
    blessedly
release me into the
night of snow
and lost


Details | Free verse | |

PAPER

I was like a piece of paper
I was smooth and crumple free
And then a man did pick me out
And scribbled over me.

And then when he had done his work
He took me in his hand
He crushed that piece of paper, me
I didn’t stand a chance

Then came a day that he did think
He wasn’t maybe done
He took that paper out the bin
And smoothed it out again.

He didn’t see the scribble there
And again he took his pen
He scribbled more and made a mess
And crumbled me again.

Some time did past and then one day
Another time was found
The man who picked it out this time
Was angry and astray

He took that piece of paper, me
And again it was smoothed out
He saw that there was scribble there
But didn’t take a count

I had some wine that split on me
I had some crackers too
I wasn’t what he want me be
And nearly tore in two

He wrote some angry words on me
And vented for release
And then I found me once again
Just thrown on a heap

Now I sit here mighty soiled
With lots of marks on me
And I don’t care just anymore
For those who don’t want me. 


Details | I do not know? | |

lonely

Drowning out the noise, running to hide 
Not a care in the world, no one by my side 
It’s just another day, another lesson learned
Like pages of a novel, another one turned 
Walk away from the past, no need to look back 
Ticket in hand and my bags are packed

New life, new friends
Starting over once again 
Being what I wanted to be 
Living the life I wanted to lead 
Traveling the world completely 
Living the good life lonely 


Details | Rhyme | |

A Suicidal Thought

What lies behind a conscious mind,
That contemplates on suicide.
What passing fear just won’t subside,
To make them want to stop this ride?

What makes a person feel such pain?
To take a life seems so insane,
For what sole purpose be so vain?
What problem couldn’t time soon wane?

Who knows what lie’s in store for us,
If there’s a hell, then what’s the rush?
And if there’s nothing but death’s touch,
Then how could all your problems hush?

Life often has it’s ups and downs,
Wait long enough and ups come round.
You’ll find that life is quite profound,
It’s lessons leave much to expound.

So, whatever pain and sorrow brings,
It’s not worth cutting life’s short string.
Just focus on the little things -
And watch, you’ll find a song to sing. 


Details | Senryu | |

Alibi

Bruised skin from impact
Disguised behind, fake beauty
Alibi … makeup


Details | Free verse | |

Crawl into Me

Scattering into broken pieces
Of debris,
My life has become a black painting
Of nothingness,

Within myself I see,
 You concealing me,
I feel droplets of misery
Crawling into me, to simply become…
Me… 

I wonder if my tears
Could water the eternal desiccation,
That fills my life with hopelessness…
When will “I” reappear?

Nothing but this undying pain
Remains,
The memories I thought would 
Never die…
Have killed the happiness…
And have gone away,

Like eternity,
My sorrowfulness is my days,
Is my dreams, is my prevailing thoughts, is
 Everything that creates my life…
It’s me…

Rage flows in my veins,
Like boiling blood;
I’ve become an explosion
Of resentment…
Like a volcano of red, burning hatred,

All these particles of my sorrow,
Crawl into me,
Triggering a reflection
Of the person I don’t want to be…
The Me in me…

Crawl into me…
The person I was,
The person that you were…
The person I want you and me to be…

“Farah,”
The calling of my name revived me
From talking to my shadow,
“Farah, go to sleep...You have school tomorrow!” 
My mom yelled…

Before switching off the lights,
I glanced at my shadow again
With tears in my eyes,
And quietly muttered,

“Crawl into me...”
 


 


 






Details | I do not know? | |

forgotten world

Life in this forgotten world 
Here noboby care's 
Nobody shares 
No one reaches out a hand to hold 
Nothings ever peaceful 
Nothings ever safe
Life is not really life in this forgotten world
Darkness is always around you 
And evil consumes you 
There is no life in this forgotten world.


Details | I do not know? | |

Nightmare

Standing alone in the night Dark all around Something doesn't seem quite right I hear a sound Like a werewolf howl Coming from all around And the noise of an owl Piercing red eyes appear Lightning strikes from the sky Death is seeming rather near And I don't want to die Am I dreaming? I hope I'm dreaming? Nightmare Confronting everything that I fear Nightmare The seeming reality of everything I see and hear Down into the ground I fall Deep into the dark Evil says my name, I hear it call The devil's made his mark I run, through the endless cave Stumbling through to find there's no way out Everything is what I've gave I've given up, all I want to do is scream and shout Nightmare! This is everything I fear Nightmare! I think the end is coming near I hope I'm dreaming I wish I was dreaming But I know this is my fate Lucifer, he can't wait To take my soul away There's nothing more I can do or say Nightmare! Losing everything I ever cared for Nightmare! Losing myself even more Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare! What I never want Nightmare! My mind is does haunt It don't care What I fear Cause with it, it grows I'm hating everything it knows I wish it wasn't real Everything I see and feel But it's true And just like a Nightmare!


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

REFLECTIONS

                           Reflections of a day gone by
                           Reflections in the mirror of tears in my eyes
                           Reflections in a window pane
                           Trying to erase all the pain
                           Reflections of your face near me
                           Reflections of what never would be
                                      You said you loved me
                                       You didn't stay
                            Reflections of a lie,that never goes away.


Details | Lyric | |

Life's Bottomless Pit

Bankrupt and broke life has given to me
Endless contradictions with windows I see
What a shame that it is to be in this bind
However the outcome I'm losing my mind...

Yesterdays care gave out almost there
While trailing once more, lifes relentless wear
Has taken me down again and again
Yet this time it's different, this time I give...

Watching and wishing I keep on missing
Something inside that will stop it's pissing
Life's pissing on me and letting me know
Get out of the way get out of the flow

I've fallin again and boy I fell hard
Fighting lifes ways justifies my scar's
Painful emotions have robbed me today
It procrastinated awhile and became enraged
  
What can I do when inside me I knew
There's somewhere I'd been adjusting my view
I am all the way down and feeling quite sick
Standing on the bottom of life's bottomless pit...


Details | Romanticism | |

Beautifully Ruined Hearts

He stepped over her head,
	with polite procession.
Climbing the pearl ladder of dreams
			Seeking the world, something he would call Heaven.
FeetplantedFirmly
	in the clouds, tapping his toes on transparent sheets of oblivion. 
TAP TAP TAP
	away the roads of old.
		See the flowers budding anew,
watch his tender eyes as life blooms,
				And he finally began.
She knew him.
 	She knew there was a game
he yearned to play; a muscle he yearned to flex; a hole in his heart he yearned to fill.
			A teary eyed—green eyed girl peered
from behind,
	Witnessing a life come true.
A kiss of rain on a hot, sunny day...his relief, his time to fly.
			As soon as the rain came
				Such beautiful ruin followed;
		Places he traveled,
			Children he sired,
					The woman he always desired. 
And so he waved.
	And so she cried.
Such a way for her to die; truth be told she knew he’d forget for a bit.
				Truth be let go;
					He moved further away from when she knew him best.
All eagles learn to fly 
		and as they spread their wings 
					they soar above the rest.
								Riding the current,
										   
ridding the past. Looking to the sky
		Placing his hand on the moon 
and his foot
		on the greatest mountain of all; love.
			
					He is love. 
		She has witnessed his greatness in and wilted because of it; 
				    only to grow and find 
			         love 
					comes and goes 
								on it’s own.
			    
			            One of these days, she thinks,
 		                             he will remember 
				      that he loved me.
				
				      One of these years
          		   he’ll look back and see that while his life was soaring, 
			      another’s was painfully beginning.
				
                                                          One of these days, 
	                                                  she’ll forget 
				    how nice he was to her.
			    
			   And he’ll remember how nice it was 
				         to see her smile.
                             
		     But she’ll never know, for she’ll have a life of her own.


Details | Romanticism | |

Will I ever get to see you again

There was a time when I didn't have much to care about
even with people all around me
and now it seems like I have to much to care about
but where is everyone today
my life was suddenly turned upside down
spinning out of control
then one day from out of the blue I thought of the time
I spent with you
even though our time together was short lived
it had so much to give
and the memories came pouring in my mind and out of my eyes
all of a sudden I realized
you were more to me than just another guy or friend
I can't help but wonder
will I ever get to see you again?

Most of our time was spent talking on the phone
but there were also the moments
we spent alone
I remember holding each other close whenever we were near
never wanting to let go
cause we knew we couldn't hold each other come tomorrow
we didn't get to see each other very much
and damn it now I wish to God we had stayed in touch
something here has got to give
I'm running out of things to believe in
that's why I pray everyday for an answer to my question
will I ever get to see you again?

I think of the time where we watched the game with your
friends and family
and then with no kind of planning
we were alone together
and we spent our first and only night
holding one another tight untill the morning
I remember how when we looked deep into each others eyes
for me life stopped for a moment at that time
and it was you that had my hyponotized
oh so many butterfiles
it has taken this long for me to realize
that never has anyone taken me there again
my biggest mistake I've ever made was not telling you how I truely felt
I couldn't put it in the right words
because I really wasn't sure of my emotions
thought it was just what was happening in the moment
and give time I would be alright
never did I believe now I would be in such torment
the pain of not knowing
will I ever get to see you again?

Need to find you to let you know
that you are the only one I could never let go and I really do love you so
oh somebody please help me find the answers
because I do need to know
will I ever get to see you, hold you, tell you I am in love with you again?
If so when?


Details | Rhyme | |

Run and Live

Tender torrent, week long moment
while the skies fill dark and crimson
Back lit lightning, lovely, frightening
while my heart trips over itself
Call the whisper, brother, sister
sweep the sky with your liquid eyes
Tin the rooftops, as the heart stops
waiting for thunder to stomp the air
Birds stop singing, ears are ringing
as the clomping rain pools up
Trees kiss soil, burnt turmoil
while the wind lets loose her breath
Run for cover, father, mother
beg the sky to lift you high
If you listen, brother, sister
you will hear the sound of death.


Details | I do not know? | |

For Reals

HEAL MY SWOLEN HEART YOU HOLDER OF ITS PAINFULL BEAT,
REPEATING STRONG SENSATIONS WHICH DEVOUR ME,
NO LONGER STRONG ENOUGH ALONE,
MY SOLITUDE SHOWS MOMENTS THAT I'VE TRIED TO HIDE,
SUDDENLY THE ANGUISH FROM INSIDE BECOMES ALIVE,
AROUND HERE THERE IS EMPTYNESS WHERE ONCE THERE LIED A HUG,
IT SEEMS THAT NOW HUGS AINT ENOUGH TO REASURE ME YOU STILL CARE,
LIFES NOT UNFAIR IF UNDERSTOOD RIGHT,
YET CAN HARDLY GRASP IT,
CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THOSE SMILES DAMN IT,
ALL IS WELL BELOW SURFACE,
AND STILL I FEEL SO WORTHLESS,
SEARCH FOR PURPOSE IN THIS MESS,
DOING THE BEST TO GET THROUGH BEING WITHOUT ANSWERS TO MY 
QUESTIONS,
WHICH IS WHEN WILL TIME HEAL ME,
NOT TO FORGET THE HURT YOUR FEELING,
TRYING TO SEAL WHATS CALLED THE PAST,
OH HOLDER OF THIS PAINFUL BEAT MY HEART IS FEELING,
DRILLING SORROWS THROUGH MY SOUL,
FILLING WITH SOMETHING NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW BUT US,
TO HAVE A YEARNING SO PROFOUND TUGGING AT US,
MUST HAVE BEEN WRECKLESSLY IN LOVE RIGHT,
BUT I'LL FEEL THIS PAIN FOR LIFE TIMES,
REFUSING TO GO AWAY,
I WOULDN'T HAVE IT OTHER WAYS,
PREFER TO STAY AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE,
THROUGH EVERY PASS I GO,
THINKING OF US MAKES MY HEART SWOLEN,
LIKE A LOVE THATS PASSED ME BY,
AND EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP TEARDROPS SLIPP OUT OF EYES THAT 
WANT SO MUCH TO CATCH THE SIGHT OF YOU,
THE UNDERSTANDING SIDE OF YOU,
CREATING SOMETHING GREATER THAN I'VE DEALT WITH,
NONE WILL EVER MEVER MEASURE UP TO YOU,
PLACED THE SCALE HIGH WITH ONE KISS,
IT SEEMS I'VE MISSED YOU FOR A DECADE AND THREE WEEKS,
NOW IT'S SO HARD FOR ME TO EVEN SPEAK,


Details | Free verse | |

Dream

everything is peaceful and calm just like always
but then suddenly something is different
I wake up and realize yet again that it was just a dream
just one more dream that will never come true
for my life is far from peaceful and calm
I wake up yet again to a world gone wrong
a world as scary as any nightmare
maybe we're all just dreaming this world
and without dreams it wouldn't exist
maybe we're all just someones dream
someone like me dreaming their life away
hoping that things will get better some day
isn't that why we all dream?
to escape from our fears and problems
if only for a few hours
dreams are a never ending addiction
the almost perfect drug
and we all do it
we sleep everyday to escape our lives
only if we sleep will our dreams come true
but they're only an illusion
maybe the only way to make a dream happen
is to die and dream an eternal dream


Details | I do not know? | |

The Sun I Now See

I think of you when you're not here.
I wish each moment you were near.
I recall the good times we've been through.
I can not think any negative of you.
Will we be together when life is done,
Or will I still be the lonely one?
The dreams we had are now dead.
Life without you is a nightmare instead.
It seems to be stormy every day.
Gone is my desire on earth to stay.
How can they say, "Life goes on."
When black is all I can bear to don?
Then came the night I dreamed of us.
You told me to stop all the fuss.
You came to me and held me tight
And encouraged me, "Don't give up the fight."
I saw the answer in your brown eyes.
To give up on life is not wise.
Now I can feel you in my heart.
I know we'll never really be apart.
Through all this, you've healed me,
And I can say, "THE SUN I NOW SEE!"


Details | Rhyme | |

The Streets

The words that follow are not so grand
Because of The Streets on our countries land
By day they are light, lived and free
As night fades they change you'll see
 
Community spirit grows and sprouts
As the evening draws, neighbourhoods ooze doubts
The person you seen hours before
Is not the person you will come to adore
 
Gangs pimps in a darkened craze
Can't stand the light in a living way
They need the shadows to hide their souls
To capture the innocent in their putrid folds
 
Prostituted girls, our sisters and nieces
Become use able pieces
Nephews and sons, given guns
Do a deed and become one
 
The slime that rule, cowards are they
Hire big boys to do their say
Taken in, by dollars and booze
Where once they were someone
What respect they lose
 
Why should the neighbourhood 
Not be able to roam
In daylight or night
After all it's their home
 
The scum all around
Should disperse and flee
Out of The Streets
Of our towns and cities
 
If it's ever a road you have to go down
We should have the right to clear our town
Vigilante or law, what ever to be
Its our right
For The Streets to be free


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/life.php


Details | Free verse | |

WAITING FOR THE NEW DAWN

He stands there waiting for the new dawn to come. 
strewn all about before him in a field of broken dreams;
are the scattered pieces of his once new beginnings.
Doors are closed,  fences are wired ;

The battle line is drawn as he guards;
the inner most of his existence.
His face is lined with worry and marred ;
by the tears from rivers of sorrow for lost hope.

The cries from within are deadened;
by the walls of silent anger and he waits.
He waits for one who has not come;
as feathers of doves lay before him as if guiding.

All are unknown paths and unsure directions. 
Driven by desire but imprisoned by circumstances;
escape seems hopeless. and like a cancer; 
desperation spreads and consumption seems inevitable.

In a secret place of his mind are the memories of yesterdays tomorrows.
A house is not a home and windows are fastened shut..
In a garden where flowers once bloomed tangled webs of lies and deceit now loom;
and his universe goes unfed..

In his dreams comes a lady of magic.
Her face goes unseen, there's only a light from her eyes;
and it penetrates his mind and somehow tells him;
that with her blown breath fences will vanish.

doors will be open; and with her touch ;
gardens will flourish and hearts will be fed. 
There is a gentleness from her that shows him hope; 
As the light from the new dawn brings him back to where he stands.

one thought repeats its self over and over. 
Is she real? 
Will she really come? 
Will she come in time?


Details | I do not know? | |

I miss u(R.I.P Velma j Smith)

I miss you mom,
and I could tell you a million reasons why
the way you use to take care of me
when I was sick or in need at night or day.
and sometimes when I wasn't happy
maybe I'll be depressed,sad,or mad
You would always come to comfort me and make me laugh and smile
I miss u mom
so very,very much
i sometimes just miss u so much until,I'll curve your name in my arm,or just began to 
cry just thinking of u.
I miss u mom,
why did the man above have to take your life away?
i only got to be with u for 9 years that's it
that's not even enough time,for all of the year i got before me without u in my life
I miss u mom.
i sometimes see u in my dreams at night
and in my mind all of the time
i love and miss u a lot
but i try not to think of u that much,because it hurts so bad when i cry a river of 
tears,just for u
but i guess that's a good thing mom
because I'm still loving u and will always love,miss and respect u
even though your gone to a better place...
I MISS U MOM.


Details | Rhyme | |

Death Wish

The nauseated feeling from knowing that I have thoughts to take my own life. 
Suicide not only being a feeling, a second thought, but a compromise.
Now sick to my stomach with disbelief, how I imagine at the end of my life-the 
painful grief.
And my funeral, what church would take me? The sinner who took her own life, in 
my casket the devil might as well be.
And yet the thought constantly crosses my mind:
Why not die? Death is simply the beginning of life.
Although life is well and sometimes I'm happy. 
I can't help but wonder how death would be.
People always say "at least their in a better place." 
So is death better than life? In death can I go my own pace?
Once again nauseated with the thought of taking my own life. Myself I can no 
longer love, me I can only despise!!!



Details | I do not know? | |

Another Way

She sits there wondering what went wrong,
With the life she used to love

Should she feel the guilt she has
Or should she put it in the past

Do they realize what they’ve done,
To a girl who loved the sun

Now she doesn’t know what to do
And she doesn’t know if she can make it through

Now she sits scared and alone,
Wondering where her life’s gonna go and

She often wonders if it’s worth the wait
To see if the pain’ll go away

Or should she just end it now
And use the gun she found
To end all her misery

Her parents used to be in love
And always had so much fun

But now things have completely changed
And nothings ever gonna be the same

And she’s so scared to know
Which direction her life’ll go

Will it follow in their footsteps,
Or will she break the never-ending chain

She wants to have kids
If she makes it that far

She still wonders if she should end now
And use the gun she found
To end all her misery
Call her crazy
For thinking about it
But how can someone else
Be the judge about her life

Suicide seems right to her
But if only she could see
The life she has yet to live

And if only she could see
That suicide is a permanent solution to her temporary problem

Things will get better
There is always light at the end
No matter how dark the tunnel seems

There is always a way
To take away the misery
Without using
The gun she found.


Details | Lyric | |

.Alone.

you. are not. alone.
with cavernous ceilings closing in,
the impression of depression driving in the direction
of some unreachable goal of controlled insanity
– because always in control are you –
you harp on your uniqueness, your originality,
when in fact you are one of a many,
one of a group,
something you try so hard to deny
as the blood starts staining your hands
and drip, drops on this hallowed ground.
through the watery haze of your righteous tears
your gaze fails to fall on the footprints
of another and another, walking the floor,
their lifeblood draining just as yours.
all around you they sway, scepters
of tragedies pushed away and forgotten,
long forgotten,
as you blindly flail and try not to fall
off this lonely cliff of Last Resort where
you. are not. alone.
you search and you seek 
empathy, apathy, sympathy, any “-pathy”
to ease the pain of these lost, forgotten days,
and yet you miss these hands reaching out
wanting to hold you miss these words
said only to console you miss these eyes
meant to draw you in
and all you see in those eyes is a reflection
of something you’ve tried to deny
and you continue to balance
walking the  lines of chaos, trying not to spin
out, of, control
– because always in control are you –
you try to survive on the bread and bones
 of those come before, but blind you are
to the nature of your food, blind you are
to this world you stumble through
and blame endlessly, releasing you
from the responsibility you are being punished for, and
you. are not. alone.
so dive of your platform of solitary fears
dive into this river of comfortable tears
swim alongside these ghosts of years and years
of tragedies so like yours
let them carry you away from this
cliff of Last Resort and know that
you. are not. alone.


Details | Rhyme | |

Heres Looking At You Kid

Dear brother you were only 22
when the good Lord came calling for you

Water had consumed your last breath
Coroners said was a flashback from heroin and meth

I had always looked up to you
but your verbal abuse made me and the others feel blue

black hair  hazel eyes man you look so like Elvis 
imitating shaking your hips and pelvis

blisters and sores on  your young pale face
oh boy how you had fallen from Gods grace

you had a little girl right after you died
Mom always stood by her and your girlfriend's side

first Grandpa then you Dad  Mom and brother Bob
for my life now feels like I've been robbed

missed over 30 yrs of wishing you  birthday greetings
now at the dinner table there is limited seating

but every year when your birthday comes and passes
I will be there to pick your grave site overgrown grasses

I wonder what you would look like today
or even if your hair would be full of grey

I have forgiven for all you had done to me
for I hold no regrets so your soul can be free

heres wishing you another birthday greeting
as I lay this card and rose at your grave site's seating

Please give Grandpa Dad Mom and brother Bob my love
for someday I will reunited with all of you above

For now I have my own little girl
for she is my own everyday  world

I promise to tell her all about you
and how God will turn you into someone pure and new

Rest in peace my loving dear brother
heres another birthday wish I send in passion smothers 






In Loving Memory Of
My Brother Gary

10/ 18/ 48
 6 / 5 / 71









Details | I do not know? | |

HALF MONSTER

I’m half monster.
Living in a jackal and hide world of a father’s imposter.
In fear of that half coming out
I am left without.
Who am I?
Can I distinguish why?
Will anger entice me?
Will feelings precise me?

I’m half monster!
I’m half of my father.
I can’t punish my child in fear of going to far.
I can’t change him without feeling dirty by a hidden scar.
He made me!
He hated me!
He’s my parent.
He’s my serpent.

I’m half monster!
He’s a monster.
I wish I knew where I fit.
Half and half I am split.
My brothers followed his steps.
I am a misstep.
I wasn’t supposed to be.
Can I get rid of this monster inside of me?


Details | Ode | |

Cry of the Soul

Once, when my soul cried out in mournful pain;
I believed the Spirit, with me, wept.
When I felt that life was all in vain,
He lifted me from the drowning depth.

Now when flowing tears upon me fall,
and all seems hopeless in this life;
Does He hear my constant wailing call,
when I feel grief’s merciless cutting knife?

Where is my God when I need Him so,
when my soul is wounded and torn apart?
The One Who promised to never forsake nor leave,
does He see me here with bleeding heart?

Like the lonesome howling coyote, my soul does cry
in vain, it seems for peaceful relief.
And as the unfolding years go by,
will I forever be haunted with relentless grief?

Will there be answers which I will someday find?
Will my feet ever be back on the ground?
Unanswered questions riddle my weary mind,
as I feel and see the misery all around.

I was one of faith and considered strong,
but now am weak and a pitiful creature.
What I have become, I have pondered long;
and realize my need of the One True Teacher.

Once again, my howling, mournful wail cries out;
“Oh, God, my Master, hear my plea.
We need Your help, without one single doubt.
We beg for strength to set all pain free...”


Details | Romanticism | |

Bittersweet Memories

Walks around the lake are bittersweet memories
that leave tears in my eyes
tears in my eyes
I remember the way your hand felt in mine
how the world seemed fine
yeah
the world was mine
I remember staring into your eyes
knowing that you would always be there
My mind is full of these bittersweet memories
leaving tears in my eyes
tears in my eyes
I remember when I could make you smile
yeah
when I could make it all worthwhile 
I remember when I was all you needed
yeah
when no one else would do
We used to waste nights away
talking about anything and everything
sometimes even nothing at all
I’m choking up with every thought of you
as these bittersweet memories are leaving tears in my eyes
tears in my eyes


Details | I do not know? | |

The Truth

Alone I would sit and quietly watch from afar
the little girl whom nobody knew
who was constantly in awe of a twinkling star
and forever questioned whether the sky was black or blue.

Her childlike innocence bore an unoccupied charm
to which boys would flock to entertain
on the outside she appeared cool and calm
but inside she felt great disdain.

Her eyes glistened like pools of emotion
staring reminiscently; memories in her mind
trying hard to control the reflection
but the words echoed cruel to be kind.

One smile would clear the thundering sky
one laugh warm the coldest day
but her head sank low and she began to cry
the pain she felt, too much to say.

Making excuses she quietly departs
as the faces turn to stare
she goes in search for her once lost heart
like an antique the best are always rare.


Details | Lyric | |

Behind The Smile

You see her smile, and she seems alright.
But what you don’t see is that she is crying inside
You think if she is sad, why doesn't she shed a tear? 
Maybe showing emotion is her biggest fear. 
She doesn't want people to see something is wrong. 
All she wants is for people to think her heart is strong. 
She doesn't want to know what others might say, 
If she just broke out in tears one day. 
Just remember what goes up must come down 
And a smile can easily cover up a frown. 
This girl, if you cannot see, 
Is no one other than me. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Drugs, Drugs!!!

Drugs, Drugs! that's all that I need.
At least thats all I used to believe.
Drugs, Drugs! that's all that I did.
I didn't even think of my kids.
Drugs, Drugs! that's all that I want.
I didn't even care that I was wrong.
Drugs, Drugs! they're in my home.
Now both of my kids are gone.
Drugs, Drugs! straight to my head. 
I lay here now, because I'm dead.
Drugs, Drugs! is this what you want?
If so, this will be your on sad poem.


Details | Verse | |

Depths Of Despair

In the depths of despair I sank fathoms down 
  so deep suffocation filled lungs with defeat; 
in the darkest of hours no light cracked the shell, 
  no matter how much I would plead and entreat. 
The world turned to ice and froze me right out, 
  snaked into the marrow and writhed in the mind; 
I dreamed of a time when the final cut 
  allow me part company with humankind. 
When all seemed so hopeless and curtains would fall 
  a ray pierced the blackness and shone at my soul; 
and gradually, achingly found where I live, 
  lit up my life and eclipsed the black hole. 
A meeting by chance, a random encounter 
  put back the sun and turned me around; 
you never can tell who's a guardian angel, 
  or likewise the source of salvation be found.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Return

Promises made on the day he did depart.
After a  long wait in hell.
When his feet touched  familar soil they'd  make a new start.

But time is a empty partner indeed.
Nights turned to endless hours.
And in a moment of weekness  she did concede.

With time and regret so we do learn.
He saw no one waitting.
On the day of his return.

So many happy smilling faces none he did know.
Just strangers in another life.
He just a extra in the background of this  traggic show.

He knew the adress but couldnt reconize  the place.
many storms had passed.
But haunted was the look apon her face.

Tears  and regret over what she had and for
what she did yern.
Victems of time  tears but not of joy.
Shed apon  this sudden return.

Deep within the eyes  thoose old feelings 
almost did shine through.
A confession in pain.When she waved farewell
it was already threw.

A leason of  emptyness two former 
lovers did learn.
Passion like any flame dies.
Leaving only smoke and darkness
to greet you apon your return.


Details | I do not know? | |

Werewolves

Starving amber eyes that drink oasis scraps 
  Thrown from her cast off demeanour to fall 
Upon the bare heart scape which formats and maps 
  The course of true love, or of nothing at all. 
I am monkshood drawn, snared willingly onward, 
  No gaining of ground only losing of grip, 
In a faithful disruption clawed inward and outward 
  For a smile or rebuke in the curl of her lip. 
In keeping the secret and living with heartbreak, 
  Devoured by werewolves invisibly barking, 
The madness and sadness, wolfs bane and earthquake, 
  Life wished away and time made for marking. 
Some days it feels like a carnival dying, 
  With darkness encroached of a consummate skill; 
Then others it lessens, the whole world goes flying, 
  She may want me again, and I plead that she will.


Details | Name | |

The End Of Me

This night I can't see
The dark blinded my eyes
Try to struggle to escape
Trust nothing that are lies

Feeling the empty space
Awaiting for my wishing star
I walk through the darkness
Can't see where you are

Every step I take
Is a danger by seconds
Every Light I see
Is an Illusion that never ends

Opening my arms so wide
To feel the wind blow against me
But the wind turned to a storm
And was no longer breezy

Like another day I wake up
I stayed the same as I am
Wishing it will be a new day
Wishing my dreams will never end

I felt so hollow in my heart
Where only the mind speak to itself
Can't seem to know what happened
can't seem to know how I felt

I lowered my thoughts down
It is the pain brings me here
Too lost to be out there
I only trembled by fear

When I finally saw the Light
Wishing for myself to be free
I went into the portal of Light
Finally understood,
This is The End of Me


Details | Free verse | |

Inattention

time and distance unwind
unmindful of a ticking clock
as
commitment tumbles through constant years
with ne’er a thought
that 
there exists another dimension
where all possibilities exist


Details | I do not know? | |

Hidden truth

my tears cant tell my hidden scars
but my arms can
why isnt life everything i thought it would be?
some days im alright and others im soo unhappy
things always go wrong
buh i have my happy days
i remember laughing and smiling everyday
now its only once in   a while
well i always have my fake smile
and my real tears
my real pain
my real fears
even when it hurts
i can never tell you the truth
everything in my past
if only i could open up that part of me i know i can be
I love you very much
it hurts me to know i hurt you
and for that im sorry
when i look at you my heart falls for you over and over
in your arms is where i belong
its where i wanna be
where i know i will finally be truly happy


Details | I do not know? | |

The Grave

Sorrow does the grave not know
nor bitterness or greed
In the darkness of the grave
lies no fear or inequality

The grave knows not of cloudy days
nor humid moonlit
summer nights
or the way the bluejays sang to me
nor the way my child gazed at me
And little does it know at all
of passageways through heavens door

The grave is but a benefactor
offering sweet clemency
Restoring my soul from transgressions
of the world above
Easing the encumbrance
of my mind

The grave surely is a friend to me
Craddeling me far below
the springtime daffodils
never disappointing me
nor leaving me behind


Details | I do not know? | |

I Want

I want to be the apple of your eye.
I want to be on your plate, your pie.
I want to be seen by you as first rate.
I want to be the main dish on your plate.
I want to be your rays of sunshine.
I want you over me to pine.
I want to be your favorite recipe.
I want to be to your lock the key.
I want to be queen of your universe.
I want not to be seen as everyone's worst curse.
I want  this not to be a big secret.
I want to say, I've loved you since we met.
I want you to feel the same way too.
I want to be very important to you.
I want to be someone you accept.
I want this not to be a difficult concept.
I want you to love me when I make mistakes.
I want you to heal all my hurts and aches.
I want your love, that I might survive.
I want to have our love thrive.
I want to be secure and not afraid.
I want to know that our love's heaven made.
I want to know a love that's true.
I want that love between me and you.
I want you to know, in all this I say.
I want to know, do you return my love today?


Details | I do not know? | |

You're About To Lose

You're about to lose
The best you've ever known
With all your accusations
My trust you have blown

I am not the cheater
And I certainly wouldn't lie
Or go behind your back
This I justify

You've occupied your time
With negative thoughts of me
Keeping me behind closed doors
Under lock and key

There is no freedom
With you around
Because your thoughts
Are too profound

So if you love me
As you say
Don't control me
I might go away


Details | Verse | |

Empty Church

The day the earth stood still, 
bells suspended in the tower, 
chimes froze in vacant space, 
nullified the hour. 
Her veil like spider web, 
stiff with Winter frost, 
hung upon the mannequin head, 
poignant and lost. 
His buttonhole carnation, 
a bullet wound lapel, 
blood red with cautious dying, 
in the dresser fell. 
And all the best laid plans 
unravel seam by seam, 
faint echoes in an empty church, 
never more to dream.


Details | Free verse | |

your lies, my truth.

you tell me i am precious to you.
i am not your currency.
you tell me the circumstances are beyond our control.
but i control everything,
every breath,
every word that leaks from my mouth.
you made me this way,
shaped me from wax,
using knives and tears to make scars in my form.
you tell me you have loved me,
forever,
and until your dying day.
these words slither from your tongue.
you could never have loved me,
its not something thats easy to do.
you dont care what path my life takes,
you dont know what i have been forced into.
you dont want love,
you want control.
you don't want a daughter,
you want a follower.
i have accepted that i have no mother,
that i was created by life's sick fantasy.
i wanted to love you,
when there was still a chance.
so don't lie to me anymore,
don't tell me that it doesnt have to be this way.
it does.
dont thank god for me.
there is no god.
and i am just a curse,
because i hurt you.
you preach that you have room for me in your heart, that you think of me everyday.
and i think of you,
in the morning when i wake,
and in the night when i rest my head.
nothing can ever be easy,
or understandable.
in my heart, there are only cracks
and cobwebs where you might have been before.
it throbs and convulses, refusing love.
i couldnt love anyone,
not if i tried.
not if i wanted.


Details | Free verse | |

Faced With My Fears

Sitting here faced with my fears
not know how to escape it.

Never knowing who I really am
faced with the fact of life.

It stairs me in my eyes.

This thing people calls fear
tears me down inside.

With out a soul knowing it
faced with the desicions of life.

Sitting here faced with my fears.

I begin to weep

I begin to cry out.

I begin to feel pain like no other
has ever felt before.

As I sit here faced with my fears.

I reach my hand out to you 
for help and only to come and realize.

The only thing in front
of me is my own reflection.

I now have the fear of
helping myself to realize its time to let go.


Details | I do not know? | |

I am confused

you ripped my heart out and threw it on the floor
I don't know how to feel anymore
You twisted me into your lies and deception
I know I'm stronger then this,But i cant seem to get away
your touch is so unforgettable but regrettable 
your kisses are breath taking but destructive 
I love the things you say to me, even though its all a lie
some things feel so real, i don't know if i should believe you or leave you
And for some reason I'm stuck
you hurt me so much, but i keep coming back to you
And i don't know why i cant ever seem to get you off my mind
Your like a drug that i cant get off of
Everyone tells me to get away from you, but i can't 
You got me bound to your heart and your heart only,
I don't get why it cant be that way with you
You tell me you love me, 
but i wonder do you tell the others the same
My hearts tied in a knot,
restricting me from feeling anything but numb
I don't know what i want, the confusions growing deeper
Digging its nails into my skin
I sit and watch my tears fall to the floor,
As i wonder if you hurt the same
I need you, but i want to get rid or you
I want you, but i don"t
I love you, but i hate you
I am confused


Details | I do not know? | |

I HAD A DREAM YOU STOLE MY HEART

The December chill creeps around my bones 
My joints feel like crushed up stones 
I walk through the bittier cold night 
I really should not call you, but I just might 
 
My mind knows your poison, but my heart does not care
Life is full of pain, and you have given me my fair share
The walk is to get you out of my troubled head 
But you creep like the cold even when I’m alone in bed 
 
Sick and delusional that you’re my cure 
My mind won’t accept you don’t love me anymore 
So alone I walk, I walk until I fall 
The pain is so crippling and I will soon crawl 
 
An inch away from death is a million miles from home 
Now I only have this dessert sand I roam.  
I know I loved you to much 
 But your hold on my heart is such a strong clutch 
  Squeeze if you will until the blood won’t go through 
 
Do not stop until my heart stops 
I am so tired of loving you 



Details | I do not know? | |

O Child of Sweet Sweet Sorrow

O child of sweet sweet sorrow, why is it that your lonely inspirations are often wiped away and your dreams are put to death with each tear? O child of sweet sweet sorrow, your anguish shows, it is not with out dreams for the world you seem to know. Even so, you mourn for that which you do not have. You wipe away your crimson tears, dress and redress your wounds. Asahmed of who you are, a coward for who you're not, lie low and gain your strength at night, run away at dawn. Your silver thoughts are all you have, O child of gentle night, hide your lonely face and dream before the dawn is soon in sight. You answer for their each mistake, a victim of your own. Come alive here in beautiful night, but at dawn soon take flight. You have your hopes, you have your dreams, but you lock them so tightly away. When that they seep out, you just let them go, left to fall away with your tears. Why are you so afraid to fight to keep your dreams? Why o child of sweet sweet sorrow, are your inspirations wiped away with that fake plastic smile, and your aspirations seem to fall away in the form of your tears?


Details | Free verse | |

The Voices in my head

Have you thought of suicide?
Have you ever thought of murder?
Crazy as it may sound,
I've thought of both.
Is it okay for me to tell you I've felt this way?
I dont know why,
And sometimes I try to block out the thoughts.
But they keep coming back.
Telling me that they want more.
They want me to go through.
Do the things I feel that I should do.
Take a gun to my head.
Pull a knife on my husband in bed.
I know too much, I know that.
My husband cheats, and that is a fact.
I say things I shouldnt say when others arent around.
I curse out loud when my daughters are near.
I say things that the two year olds just shouldnt hear.
I cant help but think, what it would be like. 
What if I wasnt around, to feel these things inside.
Who am I punishing, them or me?
What do these things really mean?
Am I crazy, am I insane?
Are there really people running around in my head?
I hear what they say,
Telling me to stop being a baby,
To just die alone in my bed. 
I dont want to think these things.
I dont want to hear what they want to say.
Please make them all go away.
Do you understand what I write?
Of course you dont.
You dont know what its like.


Details | I do not know? | |

Little Girl On Bended Knees

She’s a little girl abused in so many ways.
She knows for everything theirs a price she pays.
She doesn’t go where other children play.
So much lost.
So much at cost.
She’s berried with in her pleas.
Clothing tore to all degrees.
She runs to the church knowing everything he sees.
Maybe he can set her free.
Little girl on bended knees.

She can’t wash his smell away.
No matter how much she bathes.
Do you really have to love daddy this way.
Day by day she prays.
So many memories will prey.
She wishes they would just fade away.
In the bushes she hides.
Daddy is dead inside.
To god she will confide.

“God who will believe me?
Who will see?
Mom always said it was just me.
Now she has to see.”
Little girl on bended knees.

Her life is so hard in part.
Yet not compared to what she sacrifices in her heart.
He slices it up and rips it apart.
She wants to point blame
But lowers her head in shame.
God taking over this little soles hope 
And his heart is breaking.
There is so much she is staking.

She raises her bloody hands high.
Deep down she wishes she could die.
But she made daddy finally say goodbye.
Six years old murdering daddy to finally be free.
Little girl on bended knees.


Details | I do not know? | |

Crying, Sighing, Lying, Dying

Tired of crying
The same liquid anguish
The same  control pill
These tears are trying
These tears are winning
At mining out all optimism
At crashing all hopes

Tired of sighing
The wasted effort of pushing out air
An unheeded attempt
An unheeded despair
I've got nothing left
Had nothing in the first place
So why am I sighing?
If theres no memory to dream of

Tired of lying
This same old facade
My smiles are of a Noh mask
Interpret them as you may
A smile in irony
A smile in decay
I have a morbid sense of humor
But you can think I'm really happy
Your thoughts make no mark upon mine

Tired of dying
The same thing every day
My soul is broken into pieces
One dies a day
While the others just rot 
Waiting for their chance
Living like deer in headlights
Just terrified, blind, watching themselves die.


Details | Free verse | |

The Love

The love was between me and you
dear god, what did i do,
to make you leave like that,
to make you leave so fast.
you told me we would always last
i believed you, how could i not
you said that, maybe you forgot,
we did everything together,
i believed we'd be forever.
Never separated also never lonely
I cant say all the love you showed me.
Calling you just to hear your voice,
I don't understand why you made that choice.
I always loved you so much,
yearning for just one touch.
Tears rushing to my eyes
to fulfill my lonely cries.
Worrying endlessly when you were mad
wondering what I did so bad.
I'll never stop loving you 
no matter what i ever do
you were my first love
you, there is no one above.


Details | Rhyme | |

"FADE AWAY"

Anytime you want to be right here just imagine me and all this will appear, you 
can keep this moment all your life Forever near, a Dream worth keeping.

When your feeling lost, I'll be your Star, just reach out and touch me no matter 
where you are, in a world of Precious things are disappearing over night, just 
keep my Star inside.

I Believe we found a Dream made worth keeping for more then just a day, and 
even when the winds of change may come creeping it's still a Dream worth 
keeping, so don't let it "FADE AWAY"

Someday you might be thinking that life has passed you by, your spirit might be 
sinking with Hope in short supply, that's the reason why.

I know this Dream's worth keeping as long as it will stay, and even though you 
see the darkness that may come creeping it's still a Dream worth keeping, so 
don't let it "FADE AWAY".                                THE END


Details | I do not know? | |

Eternal

Waiting is like the dying embers of a fire
a neverending glow
a dimmed room full of desire
more than anyone will know.

A secret whispered in someones ear
a friend is lost for good
slowly becomes a rolling tear
my future is now understood.


Details | Rhyme | |

Daddy's Lost

Never being there hurt you so
Desiring to help me grow
Help my childhood progress
It made you feel worthless

What AM I taking about?
Cause day in day out
You missing me was a joke
You never loved what you broke

Another too lost and scared
Though I can’t say I never cared
And I can’t say I’m not sad
But even you should know dad

That never coming to see me
I dealt with to a tolerable degree
And that I’ll always question
When I’ll hear your confession

Will I ever get to see you dad
Or have I truly been had
I guess I have to wait some more
‘Cause it’s always you I’ll be looking for


Details | I do not know? | |

Know How It Feels

The ache in me cries out your name 
I long to see your face again 
A love for you in my heart glows 
Yet you hurt me so why I don’t know 
I must go on I know this to be true 
 I must learn to live without you 
But in the empty corners of my heart 
 Your memory’s there ripping me apart 
I feel my spirit and soul have died 
 Yet I know that’s not true for I still cry 
 Cry for a love that still burns 
 Cry for the painful lesson I have learned 
 You could never care for me 
You proved it by the way you hurt me 
I trusted you and called you friend 
 I see I was wrong again 
I hope you find a love someday 
And she walks from you in this someway 
 And the pain it leaves you and the despair you feel 
 Know you did it to me and know how it feels. 










Details | I do not know? | |

My life

My life was once great 
My life was once bright and happy
My life used to be so wonderful
My life used to be so amazing
My life was beautiful
Then everything completely changed
My whole life came crashing down,
Like bullets in the sky
It was all over before I knew it
And now there's no going back in time


Details | I do not know? | |

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time you held my hand in the summer rain
Once upon a time you promised everything would always be the same
Once upon a time you said you will love me till the end of time
Once upon a time you vowed your heart forever would be mine
All these you said and more
But those promises were broken and are no more
Once upon a time I felt I had really found one who loved me
I would move heaven and earth if you asked me
But that was once upon a time long ago
Now you're someone I don't even know


Details | I do not know? | |

Mirrors

 I don't like the mirrors, hate the face I see
 Don't want to even bother thinking that it's me
 I see a flawed body, try to keep my eyes closed
 I try not to notice what I don't want to know
 Surrounded by others much easier on the eyes
 I keep the smile pasted so I don't feel my own cries
 Does anyone really know me, or only think they do
 Have I really failed to notice if I even want them to
 Sometimes I tend to think, why do I even bother
 Continuing with this life, or thinking of tomorrow
 Trying to pretend I don't feel what I feel 
 Scared I'm going to break, that I'm not even real
 I've been thinking that it's over, this is where 
it'll finally end
 There's not much left to offer, too tired to pretend
 If someone had ever told me, it hurt too much to care
 If I'd never loved another, today that'd put me where
 No memories of ever hurting or crying
 No memories of loved ones living, then dying
 I was wondering if tomorrow I died, 
 Would anyone notice, or care or cry
 Because the emptiness is getting deeper, no matter who's around
 No one even sees it, even knows I'm down
 So why am I like this, when did I break
 My past seems to haunt me, a feeling I can't shake
 So if I could change anything, what would it be
 I could say simply, everything. 
          Julie Stephenson


Details | Rhyme | |

Lost Little Girl

There's a lost little girl
Roaming this world
Searching for truth and for love
Aimlessly seeking
Never reaping
All she is deserving of

There's a lost little girl
Giving life a whirl
While living her life all alone
Hidden inside
Is where she resides
Ever since she's been on her own

The little girl's life
Has been about strife
But now she tries to mend
Still lost and confused
She's easily bruised
For love she still contends

Her acceptance is grief
Her guilt has no relief
When her past comes chasing her down
Still she holds on to her rope
With a glimmer of hope
That her life will soon turn around



Details | I do not know? | |

As I Sit With Darkness

	As I sit here, not knowing what I fear most, myself or life.

	As I sit here not knowing if I'll ever be a normal person.

	As I sit here knowing people love me, but wanting to love them, but I 
	can't, because I can't even love myself.

	As I sit here knowing my love ones are suffering, because I'm 
suffering.

	As I sit here wishing I could be strong enough to over power what I 
	know is wrong and do right.

	As I sit here knowing that my name will be just a memory to people 
that 	know me and always think about the bad things I've done.

	As I sit here seeing darkness in everything I see.

	As I sit here not knowing if I see the world for what it really is or just
another miss guided person written off.

	As I sit here not knowing if my mind is just sick or just knows the truth.

	As I sit here I know that I sacrifice the happiness of loved ones for my 
thoughts.

	As I sit here I know I'm strong in one aspect. I will sit in darkness till 
it's my day to know the answers.

	As I sit here I'm sorry for my thoughts.


Details | I do not know? | |

Wings of Lead

on wings of lead some shall fly
not to soar but to fall
weighed down by the burdens of life
they tumble out of control
unable to stop or slow down
the pain of life to much to bear
some don’t even care
they are lost and will not be found
their lives seem meaningless
doomed to an eternal wandering
there are those that soar
and those that fall
save yourself I’ll tell you 
while you still can 
for I am falling to
wishing I had done something so long ago
but now I’m falling and I cannot stop
nothing can stop me 
but hitting the bottom 
only death could stop me now
for I am falling and there is nothing to stop me
my life unlived and cut so tragically short
tragic to you maybe 
but freedom to me
no longer weighed down by the wings of lead
I am free of my pain 
pain so severe it made life unlivable
unable to soar with the rest
I fall as do so many
unable to keep up from the weight 
shackled to my misery and depression 
I pray for it to end quick
that I may be set free
free of what haunts me so gravely
the fear of life itself


Details | I do not know? | |

The Darkness

The beauty of nothing
Is what I see
If people opened their eyes
They would not see me.
There maybe less space
When I am around
But I am not seen
I cannot be found.
I am not worth 
My weight in gold
I am not worthy
For someone to hold.
I do not wish
For another day
I do not dream
I no longer pray.
I do not understand
Why I'm still here
I do not understand
Pain and tears.
Explain to me why
The good are to die
The bad left behind
To continue their lies.
Where is this light
I hear about
I'm lost in the darkness
With no way out.
I think of death
And what it might be
To end this nothingness
Which is me.
The answers continue
To be hidden from me
For today, tomorrow
Perhaps, eternity.
You cannot give love
Then laugh at me
For I am lost to the darkness
And no one sees.


Details | I do not know? | |

Crying So Hard I Was Screaming

I cried so hard I wanted to scream 
Your memory still brings bleeding tears to my cheeks
The thoughts of you, me, and us are killing me
Why cant the pain inside just be a bad dream.
I want to wake up in your loving arms 
But my eyes are closed by the tears of my heart.
Everything around me is crashing down
There’s nothing left for me to do but drown
I want to call your name with my last breath
But I’m screaming so loud that my breath is dead 

I was screaming so loud that I wanted to cry
I knew everything was over the moment u left my side
Hold me and tell me everything will be fine
Otherwise, blow out the flame that burns for you
And bury my heart in the deepest grave
Let me drown in a sea of bloody tears 
With the sound of my screams ringing through your ears.
Maybe then you’ll know that my love was real.

I’m screaming so loud that I’m crying 
And I’m crying so hard that I’m screaming
There’s nothing that can ever make this feeling subside.

				
  


Details | I do not know? | |

Ending

Everything in effort of ending
A life that I want to sell
There is nothing left upon the surface
But inside is something I know well

A boredom that will feed my anger
A place that I’ve seen before
I’d take myself from every answer
If it would take me to the arms of a whore

Her eyes whisper shadows of ending
A world that I just don’t need
My silence feeds her fear of falling
And my emptiness will make her bleed

A failed love for every person
A lie that I can still feel
I will stand before them with a happy smile
But I laugh at them as I steal

My parasite is still wanting an ending
Of a game that I love to play
The murderer and angel want to sleep now
And my boredom has nothing to say


Details | Rhyme | |

Swept Away

Mid afternoon, the sun slams down,
On the shifting sands of a coastal town,
The monument points with a gun to the sky,
The heat haze displaced by a seagull’s cry;
On the quay I sit and look out to sea,
At the distance between the horizon and me.

At a quarter to four I have not moved on,
Wearing haunted looks that I thrive upon,
An ice cream melts in a splitting cone,
Seeping through cracks to a twilight zone.
I take a deep breath and rise to my feet,
So cold and alone in the sweltering heat.

At the closing of day, the sun settles down,
The night muscles in on a coastal town,
I drift to the bar and the sea licks the walls
Of the harbour without where the darkness falls.
I look to the dusk for an answer or two,
But there’s no sign of life, and there’s no sign of you.


Details | Free verse | |

Grey Area

You came in packages
wrapped in black and white
checkered abstract
ribbon
   knotted
     much
       too
         tight.
In spaces between
   all and nothing
lies my patient
heart.


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost Childhood

My sweet tortured soul,
stares back at me through the window,
slowly floating away from me,
stareing back with sad twinkling eyes,
tears running down her face,
as she sing my sweet childhood lulliby,
wishing me goodbye,
as I seep into darkness,
revieling my hidden self,
alone and helpless,
it floats away,
what I was is no more,
only the cold and malice remain,
as my childish soul glides to fair heaven,
with only a half-hearted soul remaining.


Details | Free verse | |

Poetic License

There is a force outside this walls
trying to penetrate the security.
Things kept crashing round us.
In love you were sheltered,                                                                                                
but now you color it hostility.
Your embracing the things
that take you away from us,
But you color them saviors.
We were encircled with words
Of loving-kindness as a support,
But you now color it bondage and chains.
With what vision do you
Contort the foundation,
Of our very make up?
We must see through different eyes.


Details | Free verse | |

MANY JUST LIVE MEANINGLESS LIVES...

Many just live meaningless lives...
not caring a bit for others,
and devine goodness 
is not found in them; and when they''die:
nobody will remember them...mourn or cry!

While I'm living,I'll make sure:
I will love and be loved by others,
and my kindness will flow like a rich river...
until it finds the widest ocean!
I will resist to be tempted by iniquity,
and put a stronghold between me and lechery,
because it caused me much grief before...
and tried to destroy me along with my mission!

Many just live meaningless lives...
wasting them away, worrying about the world's cares;
retaining old habits...treading a path:
trampling, instead of walking upright!
Many just live meaningless lives,
living in fear...daunted by perils,
because they don't live by faith,
but by any means of contempt and unrighteousness!

If thoughts and greedy ways 
are meant to please others,
not giving you perfect choices, 
take them out of your actions...
look up and believe you can change everything
for the sake of salvation,which is free and fulfilling!
 
Many just live meaningless lives,
and wait for good luck to bring them riches;
what's missing in their worthless lives
can't be replaced by them,
but by a spiritual transformation... 
as shrewd as intuition!   


Details | Free verse | |

Hell Is For Heroes

I ran the blade under my thumbnail,
scouring dirt with the tip,
and stared aimlessly at the street.
Switchblade thoughts clicking,
metronomic stilettos on wet paving,
drawing closer.
In this sleeping wakefulness,
this illusion of life,
she never arrives;
waiting, as you do, for endings,
or new beginnings,
becomes strictly habitual.
They say hell is for heroes,
abide there with fiery halos
and tickertape ash.
I ran the blade under my thumbnail,
pressing harder, drawing blood,
a singular jewel procreating,
welling then dripping, dripping.
I’m no hero,
just a deadening excuse
like the rest.
And yet it still feels like hell
to me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Delusions Of Love

I gave my heart, my spirit, my soul
Yet you took my essence but the emotions you returned with false and cold
My love for you was honest and true
Yet there one thing you couldn't give me was you
Blinded by this need in me for that bond
Delusions of a love that would go on and on
And so my heart is left with loneliness and despair
Yet you don't care
The wisdom I learned it in a painful process
I still search for the answer to this dilemma that makes no sense
I place this on a higher plane
Seeking the answer from a Superior Being
I ask just why had it happened to me 


Details | I do not know? | |

When

When will this hurt go away
When will I bravely face each new day
You've been gone for some time
Yet it seems like you're still here in my mind
The memories and moments we shared
Are still alive and at times the pain is so hard to bear
Just the mention of your name
Lights up my soul with a never ending flame
But now it's time to move on
To forget the past and admit you are gone
When will this hurt go away
Not for a long time but maybe one day


Details | I do not know? | |

Why Did You Tell Me "I Love You?"

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
A knee-jerk birthed of fear? 
A pandering to my ego? 
Words I wanted to hear? 

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
Later "I don't think I do?" 
A whimsical slash of cruelty? 
Ambiguous through and through? 

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
Then argue the point for hours? 
Bicker, snap and grow sullen? 
Destruction of hearts and flowers? 

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
Then erase every tangible clue? 
Maybe you told me for fun? 
Maybe because it was true? 

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
To mean life and death to me? 
If you please to confirm the truth 
What a wonderful life this could be.


Details | Free verse | |

Common Sin

Sometimes you feel trapped when you are bound to someone else
You feel like breaking out but you simply cant you see...
Everyone feels like that from time to time so its natural
But that is the problem that we all face in life...

We don't wanna hurt each other
But it just gets so difficult
We wish to have everything we want
But reality is harsh
No matter...how hard we try
All we can do is hurt our loved ones
"I love you" is basically an empty phrase
Because all we do is cheat and sin
Honey...

Thought we have a conscience, we seem to go against it all the time
What does that say about everyone in general...?
Everyone is eveil on the inside though we try to deny it
But we can also do good if we would only try it...

We simply don't care about anyone else
Though we lie and say we do
We only are evil and selfish
But we cannot control it
No matter...how hard we try
All we can do is cause harm
Why can't we all simply change as a whole?
Because we all share a common sin
Honey...

We go so far low as to hurt one another
Just to satisfy our wants
We are all really selfish
But we can't help it
We don't wanna hurt each other
But it just gets so difficult
We hurt each other to get what we want
Without thinking the plan through
No matter...how hard we try
All we can do is cause harm
Why can't we all simply change as a whole?
Because we all share a common sin
Honey...


Details | Free verse | |

Finals

A stalking moon comes
riding
on mount of silver
     and
     blue
     metallic
shimmering
     beckoning
shadows colliding
with
      imagined imaginings
and
      impassioned words
spoken to
      look
          like you
rhyming
with
the glow of
     lightening dark
         pale
            dawns
shivering in
twilight unmasked
as
a
     hollow
     exchange
that
bounces from
     here to there
         and
     wonders
         how the connection
grew so
weak
and
      unenduring
when
      plastic care
became
      so unassuring
and
     deaf and dumb
came    
     crawling
              droning
so
      enough became
           too much
to hear
and
flat tone
       came alive
to
       animate my screen
in hurried
dutiful
   replies
      evenly spaced to
          reflect
               time better spent
                    elsewhere.


Details | Blank verse | |

All I Wanted To Say

All I wanted to say was…
and then like frost upon moonlit logs
thrown upon a winter fire,
the words melted in my mind,
evaporated on my tongue,
vapour in the night.

All I wanted to say was…
and as condensate on panes of glass
before the sweep of cloth,
the essence wiped from thought,
dried upon my lips
sheer transparency.

All I wanted to say was…
and the waves rolled on the silver sand,
filled the letters up with brine,
the symbols hidden in dreams,
ebbed out of my skull,
surfing in retreat.

All I wanted to say was…
don’t leave this way, don’t go,
I love you for eternity,
yet the words would not form or flow,
then I couldn’t say in time,
and now I said too late…


Details | I do not know? | |

SORRY

I try to give you everything and make you happy
Why cant things be the way they used to be
Like when we first met you were full of joy and laughter
I loved you so much apparently I'm not the one you were after
I'm sorry
I fell in love with a person who doesn't want me 
Why cant things be the way they used to be
I'm sorry
I stay away and visit once in awhile
When I'm there you tell me you miss me 
And you're happy happy to see me
I'm sorry
Then you leave me empty and full of agony
Left to suffer with so much pain
I wanted to slit my wrists  and let it fall like rain
 Draining all the hurt and pain away
I'm sorry
Instead I shut my feeling off and kept everything bottled up inside
Not daring to show people the things i hide
This is how i get treated for loving you 
Someday your time will come maybe it already has
And that's your excuse for not loving anyone 
I'm sorry
So you go through life not caring about anyone but yourself
Building your own personal prison going through hell
Open up and love someone
Everyone needs someone even if its not me
I'm sorry
You shut me out and your feelings go away
I'm left here with so much pain
You made me experience what you have been through
Tearing myself apart
Shutting people out not knowing what to do
It was killing me without a doubt 
Now i know what this is all about
I'm sorry
I was left so many years shattered
My heart was torn ripped and tattered  
Like a piece of china that was left unnoticed till it mattered
I'm sorry
 Well i will find some one who loves me back
She wil tare down my wall no turning back
I will love her and she will love me
I'm sorry
I'm happier than iv ever been she will make me whole
Loving you was not that bad of a toll
You made me shut people out
Waiting for what seemed like eternity 
Till i will finnd true happiness my destiny
I will ask her one day to marry me
I'm sorry
It still hurts me to see you living in the dark
Like a lost child wandering around lost in the park
Searching for your own happiness sorry it wasn't me
This is how it was meant to be
I'm sorry
One day i know you will find happiness
When you find it you will know what to do
Just don't abuse it hold on caress it and don't let go
If you have feelings for someone let it show
Don't hold it in and he wont let go
I'm sorry
I feel bad for not being able to do more for you
Because I have experienced what you are still going through
But one day it will  be OK stop being selfish and it will go away


Details | Rhyme | |

Sorrow Declining A Healing

Sponge socks, for walking on your eggshells quietly
whether they're robin's egg blue in the rain
speckled and peppered with bundles of pain
or whether they're white like innocence bleached
by the sun, on the beach in a driftwood dry nest

Poppy petals, for covering over your eyelids of tears
whether they're brimming for long lost romance
or promises pandered or fleeting of chance
sealing them up with a sensory stance
by the red, under velvet with sweet pollen dust

Creamed milk, for soaking your burning lips in
whether the sun dried their wishes in mist
caught up in the dew and dispersed in a kiss
or whether you burnt them by cease and desist
of the fire you riddled and rolled off your tongue.

Cupped hands, to cover your delicate ears in their hearing
whether you're straining and leaning for truth
or freezing your ear drums on bowls of dispute
or whether you hear only lies from your youth
by the gut of your slain self-esteem 

All of these things make you quite the high maintenance
whether it's eggshells and glue in the wind
or petals in nitrogen tears on the mend
or souring cream or my palm's condescend
while I tire and endlessly string back your hair
with a sorrow declining a healing.


Details | Verse | |

Five Flowers And A Funeral

Like bullet holes in a starched white shirt,
they prop the gravestone in the dirt,
a ruby stitch across the face
of veined pale marble carapace.

They held my gaze that winter day,
beneath black clouds with streaks of grey,
the wind howled for the distant dead,
ice crystals bit the greatcoat thread.

Stiff cards bore words upon each stem,
five mourners and the names of them,
each severed bloom, blood red and still,
clashed colours with the graveyard chill.

Five flowers and a funeral done,
alone stand I the wayward son,
and no one cares that I'm alive,
imagining six instead of five.


Details | Rhyme | |

Grim Fairytale

Of stunted dreams
and lying schemes
on sand the castle stood
       	~~~
through windows slit in deep stone walls
no light be found within
the moldy, moody corridors
resound with deafening din

she dreams of love forsaken
and feeds them to the birds
who keep her from insanity
silent whispers without words

she spends her time with puzzles
in the dungeon dank and dark
digging for missing pieces
of her torn and scattered heart

one day the gates will open
the lock will rust and fall
she’ll step into the sun
and not look back at all


Details | Rhyme | |

Melting Of The Stone

the prisons and the dust storms 
slip away, 
dissolving out of sight beyond the closing 
of the day;
and who alone believed how I could
make it anyway?
or if my tracks would fill with dusk in a 
silent shadow-play.

as the city lights come on and 
light the dark,
my spirit wanders through the streets  
and to the park;
and though my skin is free of scars it
bears the mark,
from the bladed sweep of facts writ 
cold and stark.

and as I fall beside the statues 
in the rain,
beside the cenotaph that’s dripping 
down the drain;
and in the melting of the stone 
I can’t explain,
the bloody nature and intent
of love and pain.


Details | Rhyme | |

Disarray

Come slip
beneath
   my skin
where time has
   lost
   its mind
where
angles slew askew
   toward chaos
close behind
where
   up
   sees
   hope
that
   down
betrays
   left
standing
unaware
that
   right
goes toward
the
   light
and
   dark
collects despair


Details | Lyric | |

Teach Me How To Love

I was born beautiful
But…deformed by men
Lead me the way… 
To humanity


Details | I do not know? | |

Rape

In my mind this horror remains in my remembrance.
That awful, dreadful day, that man took my innocence.
I was just barely 15 yrs. old.
Not the cocky type,and I never wore provocative clothes.
What was suppose to be a quick errand to the store.
Ended up being my worse nightmare and so much more.
In this dark place, the air was stale and cold.
Helpless, defenseless, is what I felt as my naked body was exposed.
Guilt, shame, and anger are the emotions that arose.
What seemed like eternity, left the pillow soaked with tears.
Crucifixion of scars were imprinted on my heart and soul for years.
I remember getting in the shower, trying to scrub away all  the pain I felt.
Hugging my pillow and praying, as I wept.
School, Family, and Friends, are the things I began to neglect.
My mother was clueless, she questioned what was making me so upset.
It was my secret, his secret, that I couldn't forget.
It was that one night, that one thing that had me trapped in regret.
After I drunk liquor repeatedly, and gave marijuana a try.
My hurt turned into depression, and I attempted suicide.
One day when skeletons in my closet were too many to hide.
Wanting to confess the dark secret I kept inside.
I had a conversation with God, and he helped me realize......
All over the world there are women just like me.
Bound by silence, and overtaken by life's tragedies.
The answer is to talk, so that others can overcome by our testamonies.
Everyday I pray that God allow all victims mind to escape.
The day they endured, I endured, physical, mental, emotional.....Rape

Copyright 2006 Tyettea Singletary


Details | Bio | |

A Struggle

We all have our good and bad days
Because they depend on our ways
Growing up around bad environments
And a screwed up system by governments
My family not loving me
Discriminating against me
Telling me that they regretted my birth
And me not wanting to be on this earth
I became depressed
And dealt with a lot of stress
Never taught me right from wrong
Dealing with these memories for so long
I always learned things the hard way
From always wanting to do it my way
My past always haunting me
From when my half brother raped me
And then abusing me
When I got older I told my family
But they didn’t believe me
Then going to school and being talked about
And not cared about
Because I was different
And not belligerent 
My self esteem grew low
And when it came to sex it was hard to say no
Because I would do anything to feel loved
Known as a jump-off around the neighborhood
And no one really knew or understood
That I was I struggling with my life
Overcoming suicide attempts
And anxiety attacks
Coping with the way things are
Because my hope grew far
While days seemed to never get better
I tried to change for the better
I’ve learned to just cope with everything
Because in my life it’s a constant struggle


Details | I do not know? | |

Again

How'd I let this happen again
How stupid can I be
I should of seen it coming
This always happens to me
I tried not to care about you
I had learned that much from the past
But this time I couldn't help it
My feelings were growing so fast
At first I kept my feelings in
Thinking they would just go away
But as hard as I tried to convince myself
I knew they weren't going away
I contemplated telling you or not
I thought about it for weeks
I finally decided to let you know
I shouldn't of been so weak
What was I thinking
Telling you all that
I guess hoping you'd feel the same
Now I wish I could take it all back
But what good would that do
It wouldn't change a thing
I'd still be in love with the perfect guy
Who only wanted a short fling
You were everything I ever wanted
You were beautiful inside and out
To think I was ready to give you my whole heart
I thought you were it, I had no doubt
But to my surprise 
You were just like the rest
You played me and used me 
And you didn't care less


Details | Rhyme | |

Dad

Hello there dad how have you been? Oh! Really thats great please don't let me begin. 
Where were you just last year when I nearly died of stress? Or how about two months ago 
when my whole life was a mess? I wondered where you were all of the time, now I'm 
fifteen three years from grown and you show up on the dime! Well go back where you came 
from back into the portal you walked through, who's my dad? wheres he at? Oh no it 
couldn't be you, I saw a completely different face at the age of two! So your really 
here? this isn't a joke? Ha! Go somewhere and choke! I never needed you before and I 
definatly don't need you now, and I can walk my own self down the isle!


Details | Blank verse | |

Goodbye

Her breathing was so even and calm,

Sleeping in that bed,

Her face once distorted with so much pain,

Now seems so soft and painless,

Looking closer to her face,

I think she’s kind of smiling,

Maybe she’s dreaming of when she was well,

Or maybe she’s dreaming of me, I can’t tell.

 

I remember summer evenings; we’d sit in the grass,

She’d tell me stories that I had never heard,

About people and places from the past,

She even shared her dreams with me,

And swore me never to tell,

That one day she would fly away,

And get out of what she called hell.

 

She never liked the place that we called home,

Always saying there was so much more,

But where I never saw, and always failed to ask,

I think she thought she wouldn’t have been sick,

If she hadn’t lived there,

But I know she would still be, 

No matter where she did dwell.

 

Sometimes I would feel sad,

Because I know my time with her would end,

That one day she would be so sick,

She wouldn’t get back out of bed,

I feel this time has come,

 

She’s been in bed a long time now,

Her skin has lost its tan,

She’s so white and fragile now,

I’m afraid I’ll break her if I touch her,

I was told even though she sleeps, she can still hear me,

So I tell her lots of tales,

And all my darkest secrets,

I swore her never to tell,

That I wish that she were well,

 

Lately everyone around has been so sad,

So many tears- I don’t understand,

Is she finally going away?

From this place that she called hell?

Is she finally going to be free from pain,

And actually fly away?

 

I’ll guess she may have already,

Maybe that’s why she smiled,

Maybe in her dreams,

She’s flying high in the sky,

 

Sleep now,

And I will do the same,

I know that when I open my eyes,

Yours won’t because your time has finally came.

 

I’ll miss you forever.


Details | I do not know? | |

Sentimental Scars

Sentimental scars
Hurt so much more
Than these physical blemishes
I’d rather bleed briefly
And heal with a scratch
Than bleed forever
And never be repaired


Details | Rhyme | |

Midnight Life Trial

Sign the stricken spirit on the dotted line of dread
while the wine is tipped in shallow pools which swirl and coat your head
The road back home is only paved with memories loosely tapped
into roots of rotten tree limbs filled with sticky, blistered sap
Wishes fall as paper bark and line the forest floor
Starlight glints behind the clouds and leaves you wanting more
Night time noises concentrate your drunken reverie
while you press your splendid future into bleak discovery
This is your journey, this is your streak
Your moment to bolster the inevitably weak
To stand up in stupor, to rise to the moon
Your scream succor shining on lilies in bloom
For criminal acts which are tattooed on the young
Midnight life trial in shadows begun
Wine altered memories to scatter and pour
To be forever absorbed by the night forest floor...


Details | Verse | |

No

No, 
not I,
I see clearly through
the rotten wedding veil,
clogged by cake turning stale,
framed by arachnid pageboys;
I see cracks on pale pink lacquer,
on the mannequin face below,
eyes mad and staring, aglow,
the sick dead holes of eyeless toys.
No, 
not I, 
my dear,
I see the madwoman in the attic,
frozen in her rocking chair,
cobwebs floating in her hair,
gibbering to her inner void;
I see the child she used to be,
alone beneath opiate skies,
pulling wings off butterflies,
things of beauty she destroyed.
No,
sorry,
no trace of me at all,
no reflection cast of me,
I am not real, don’t you see?
but, of course, that doesn’t do;
I watch the self-delusions form,
your mechanisms justify,
projecting blame on passers by,
when all there really is,
is 
you. 


Details | Lyric | |

105

105
105
I just hit 105
Am I alive?
Am I alive?
Driving in rage at 105
Run away
Run away
Leave behind this day
105
105
I can’t escape going 105
A lonely heart
still falls apart
No matter how fast you go


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost In Space

I wander alone and feel shame, 
The empty Broadway calls, 
In the dirty neon streets 
Desolation descends, befalls.

I ponder alone and her name 
Rabbit punches in my head, 
That she writhes in cuckold sheets 
With someone else instead.

Nothing is ever the same, 
Drink and think the worst, 
A temporal pulse it beats 
In rhythm and tempo cursed.

I wander lost and grow lame 
In spaces yawning wide, 
Memory loops and repeats 
Tormenting deep inside.

Still, I can manage to claim 
I mastered her abyss, 
Plucked victories out of defeats 
And know now what she is.

In winning he lost the game, 
For I took her easy as pie, 
He belongs to the queen of cheats 
Until he may wise-up and die.

Until then I will remain
Waiting for justice to own
The turning tide she meets
When she reaps everything she has sown.


Details | Free verse | |

Outcast

forgotten and rejected
I am the outcast
ignored by all abused by many
you see me every day
yet you see right through me
in your eyes I don't exist
another nameless face in the crowd
I am lost but will never be found
wandering aimlessly forever
unsure of where to go next
I am scared
but no one is there to comfort me
for I am the outcast
alone in the back of every room
there is one of us
you may not see us
but look hard enough and you will
don't look too long for I may look away
embarrassed and ashamed of something unknown
don't enter my world unless you are prepared
because once you are in there's no going back


Details | Verse | |

Parasite Alley

The moon sunk her teeth in a sky of black,
Over city backdrops and the scent of crack,
Neon spilled burning through traffic veins,
Dead man's handles on subway trains.
I tasted of acid in the end of night,
Snow descended dirty, off-white, 
Staring through curtains at six a.m.,
Into the kitchen and back again.

All currency spent in the cheapest of bars,
The ones beside wreckage of burned-out cars,
Drinking from morning 'till midnight chime,
With stoned stool-pigeons and lives of crime.
I hurt nobody, only hurt myself,
Sat in the shadows, toasting my health,
As sleep comes calling I start to fall,
A dreamer washed-up with no dreams at all.

Don't tell any secrets, don't tell any lies,
There's enough depiction in these blood-red eyes,
Don't require religion or my soul to save,
Or a shallow legend on a shallower grave.
I could preach you sermons to warp your mind,
I could show you things to strike you blind,
But the world won't listen, it remains the same,
Always leaves me stranded with a crying shame.


Details | I do not know? | |

Now I Have To Pretend

Now I have to pretend
That we never even met
That you never stole my heart
And that on love I never bet
I must pretend that I don’t know you
That I can’t recognize your face
That you never used your fingers
On my body lines to trace
I deny we talked forever
Try to forget you in my bed
Get rid of all the things you gave me
Especially those in my head
Go back to before I even met you
March 22nd to be exact
Should have refused you when you asked me
Maybe then I’d still be intact
So, I must walk by you with my head down
No looking up to catch your eye
And we’re strangers once again
Yes, we’re strangers you and I


Details | Verse | |

Emerald Eyes

In the grasp of green demons the dissolute lie,
Lost with phantoms of absinthe and smoke,
On an opium trail chasing dragons all night,
Stricken utterly wasted and broke;
When I look to the rooftops and blurrily see
Jagged vistas that tear at the skies,
In the dreary old soot of this dreary old town
I dream of your emerald eyes.

I will always remember the thrill of your face,
Such a vision of beauty and life,
And the words that you spoke echo into my mind
Lacerate like the blade of a knife;
I hear as you whisper from darkness to me
When before I had taken no heed,
“If you live by the sword then you’ll die by the sword,”
You intone as my heartbeats recede.

I have travelled this world so far and so wide,
For the wonders my eyes would behold
I took them for granted, such as my own breath,
And my scurrilous soul I have sold;
Now my days they are reaching their desolate end,
Numbing pain that the opiate defies,
And the singular comfort bestowed on me now
Are my dreams of your emerald eyes.

So forgive me my failings, absolve me of sin,
As the lifeblood evolves into dirt,
I was never as worthy as you seemed to think,
Just a vessel of hunger and hurt;
And I know that the vision I take to the grave
As the nighthawk defiantly cries,
Is the only salvation that lays me at peace,
Are my dreams of your emerald eyes.


Details | Lyric | |

Make It Go Away

Can I kill the pain today?
Just make it all go away?
Can I breathe again today?
Just make it all seem so far away?
Yesterday is over
The past is dead
Why is it so hard to get that through my head?
All the sleepless nights spent thinking about you,
and how you made me smile
All the sleepless nights spent wishing
that you could have stayed for just awhile


Details | Lyric | |

Untitled

It’s no gain to waste all this pain.

A disgrace to not always hide this face.

My mind is lame, and it’s a shame,

to feel so numb and not be dumb.

I hate to say life’s not always been this way.

It’s an outrage that I ever lived outside this cage.

Apathy works best for me.

Cold-hearted to myself, the cheaply departed.

Sadness makes me the happiest. 

My loneliness makes me feel so blessed.

This bitter resentment fills me with contentment.

My biggest folly ever was delaying this melancholy.

However this ailment is reaching my fulfillment,

Leaving me empty, sad, happy and whole.

My bitterness is such bliss.

A feeling that I would surely miss.

I often lament evading this torment.

This suffering is the greatest thing ever.

I frequently regret never being upset.

Now I daily look forward to the sorrow that’s promised by tomorrow,

and I pray it comes each and everyday.

Without its displeasure I cannot carry on,

for it is my greatest treasure.


Details | Free verse | |

Sympathize

Swallow me,
Like the air you inhale,
And exhale the broken pieces of my soul
To cherish me in you, 
Forever…

Swim in my eyes,
And drown yourself into my sorrow,
Sacrifice your life to sympathize,
Try to live my life of disguise,

Bleed like me,
Live in the reflection of my wounds,
Allay my pain
And cry my only remedy…
Sympathy,

Liberate me from myself,
To conceal my lonesomeness,
Free me…
Into you, and be my sympathy,

Let your words sedate me,
Bring the feelings we shared into reality,
Feel me, feel with me…
Don’t be my misery,

If only I can hurl the words
That bled in me,
To feel…just to feel
Some sympathy…
From you,
My destiny…






Details | I do not know? | |

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU

DON’T LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE EYES.
IT HURTS TO SEE YOU CRY.
IT EVEN HURTS WHEN YOU TURN AWAY.
LISTEN PLEASE TO WHAT I SAY.
I CAN’T SAY IT ANY OTHER WAY.
I DO CARE ABOUT YOU
IT’S TRUE.
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU.
NOT THE SAME WAY YOU DO.
I DIE CAUSE I HURT YOU.
I’VE BEEN AROUND AND HURT PROFOUND.
NOW THAT I’VE FOUND YOU I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I AM SINSERE,
BUT WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE.
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU.
I DO CARE ABOUT YOU.
I DIE CAUSE I HURT YOU.
I NEED YOU.
I WANT YOU.
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU,
NOT THE SAME WAY YOU DO.


Details | Free verse | |

Rock Baskin In The Sun

A rock baskin in the sun
Heart filled with warmth
Feels alive and safe
No care in the world

Clouds rolling in storm is near
Drops falling tears of pain coming down
Alone cold starting to drown
Puddle fills up soul lost

Drowning in a pool
Shed from up above
Lonely cold lost no breath allowed
Forgotten to be gone one more time

Sun shinning bright and bold
Water drying sadness sorrow goes
Felling the heat soul awakens again
Bringing the heart back to life

To lie and wait
Till tears fall again
Only to hope never happens again
The Rock Baskin In The Sun


Details | I do not know? | |

Broken memories

Memories seep into his mind
He searched for love
She was all he would find
She wasn't everything he thought she would be
Instead a girl with a complicated mind
She broke his heart
He broke hers
They vowed to forgive and forget
Make a new start
The memories still lingered in his broken mind
All that could heal them was time
She realized that she may have lost her only one
He was supposed to be her solace
Her stars and her sun
He was her sweet guidance through the rough times
He was supposed to be the one
She loved him with a love that was never so true
She broke his heart in ways he only knew
He made a promise to never say goodbye
Now he wasn't sure
Shes left with her tears to cry
A promise that might be stolen
A heart that is still broken




Details | I do not know? | |

Belladonna

Nightshade, O how you taunt,
Seductive is your flower, dark purple, 
Give yourself over to Her night.

Wine of Circe, Sweet the sleep you give,
A kiss of intoxication, Ease the 
Passage of the soul.

Divale, Prima Ballerina of the Ballet,
Dance of La Belle Mort, Beautiful Woman,
Hers is the tango of death.

Lethal flower, make the voice rise high,
Fatal Soprano, yours is the power behind his throne,
Saccharine song of bells in your wake.

Belladonna, lustful and lusted for,
Your ambrosia is not of life,
But the kiss of death.


Details | I do not know? | |

Busted

Tweekers make meth by the light of the moon.
They're spun and unaware that the end is coming soon.

Outside there's a swat team lurking in the shade.
They've gathered information from informants that they've paid.

Now they have the evidence and a warrant to invade.
It's a raid, it's a raid, and it's time to be afraid!

The powerful ram crashes through the door.
Ten gunned men shout, "GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR!"

They're startled into jumping,
but the swat team caught them dumping.

You can hear the children crying.
In the corner meth is drying.

Everyone is cuffed and up against the wall.
Two children stand and watch their parents take the fall.

The cops take each one and leads them down the hall.
Each wonders why they ever started doing meth at all.

A once happy family has now lost their home.
The beds the children sleep in feel cold, not like their own.

They knew it would happen, both had a feeling in their gut.
Freedom lost is the cost, the bars slam shut.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Bottle

Calling me home to join in.
Telling me it's okay.
Soon it will be all gone empty n drained.
No pain sorrow allowed.

Alone in the dark by myself I sit.
Hopless n lonely a broken heart.
Mind numb, cares go away.
Just to return next day, painful stong tearing me up.

Bottle calls out again begging me to let it in.
I invite my friend he takes my soul.
Leaves me lost and on the ground.
Slow form of suicide for me.

I try to push away but always there.
Monkey on my back laughing all the way.
Dosen't care if I live or die.
Just wants me to drink him dry.

Found some friends who care and love.
Given me the strength to break the bottle.
Watch it hit the floor and shatter.
Freeing my soul watching it come to life.

Down the gutter it goes leaving me alone.
To live for myself and not look behind.
I have a lot to give and share.
My life with the rest of the world.

To some day find love, a friend and mate.
Share my heart n soul.
Grow old together never let go!
Just to be happy n keep the bottle away!


Details | Rhyme | |

The Vacuous Man

I drink...
Alone, all the time, always thinking,
About past times that should have been.
I should have done this, I should have done that,
I never get the chance to do anything,
Because nothing ever goes my way,
As I'm too busy anyhow,
My bravery is diminished just for now
And life's dreams will be fulfilled another day...
And confrontational pressure will soon go away.

My life is a struggle, and
Like dead weight, I plop back down,
A tiring sigh befits my frown,
Viscous is my life's blood,
Laziness is my likelihood,
I am a self-trapped man.
Self-esteem, non-existent,
Life is sucked out, numbed is my soul,
Nothing here, no spirit left,
Nothing but skin and bones.
Imminent is my digress,
Divest of intellectual progress.

I go over the events in my mind,
The portrayal of my life, and I shine,
It's so exciting, yet so elusive,
My drunkenness has gotten me stupid,
Once again.
For I relished the vivid, savor the imagined
Wallowing in what could have happened
And afraid to take the real first step.
I'm swirling, swirling, swirling,
Filled with sameness and frustration,
Face red and swollen 
With the day's libation,
Eyes are glazed, mind on vacation,
My true reality, always distant,
The ice cracks and pops to the marriage of spirits and
I drink...


Details | Free verse | |

one eye open

She lay sleeping with hidden sorrow.
I lay at rest one eye opened.
My mind races for answers not yet asked.

This hurt is so deep. Hers or mine?
Life seems so sad for the young or old?

Would she end all so soon?
This love is not deep.
Selfish, coward, loser.

So young to leave and rest.
Leave me with one eye opened.

Life is not fair to some so young.
To take a life at ones on hand
is to leave a soul uneasy.
And sleeps with one eye opened.

Rest now beside to one who's 
love was not deep. Easy escape.
No tears, no sorrow, no pain.

Suns up now and yet another
morn  is the dawn.
As I arise time stands still,
to wipe a tear from the eye of sleep
For I now sleep with one eye opened.


Details | I do not know? | |

Fade

I cling to this blade of silver, sharp and cold,
Trying to forget all that I was told.

My mind is numb, still my body feels.
Look inside, see the invisible scars that will never heal.

Thin red lines, seeping red.
Although I am alive, most of ME is dead.

With each cut I make with this blade
I feel more of ME fade away.

Crying and rocking, I look at what I have done.
My skin is marred and I wish the guilt were gone.

Every time it is exactly the same. 
I seek to find refuge by causing my pain.

Finding a calm always before the storm.
It is after this calm that Shadow takes form.

My demons arise to tell me that I've failed.
I will find no rest in life, only my self created hell.

The days now blend. Not one is different from the other.
Hands of Death, my mouth they do cover.

They hold me so tightly, struggling I draw breath.
For now I am held captive, captive in the hands of Death.

Watch me fade as the clocks runs it's race.
To die would be sweet, with no more demons to face.


Details | I do not know? | |

What I Miss

Is there a place for the broken hearted
Away from the pain and loneliness
Is there hope for a tormented soul
That longs again to be whole
I have searched far and near
But the place I seek is not here
For only here I am lost and alone
With no spirit to live or carry on
It wasn't always like this you see
I once had it all and now it's gone from me
I can't live in the days that are forever gone
They are in the past and life goes on
And so I search for a place to be once again free
Where others have gone to escape such misery
But it seems there is no place as this
And so I sit a cry for what has been lost and how it's missed


Details | I do not know? | |

You've sealed your fate

Never to be trusted
Never to be loved
Never means never 
Enough is enough 

How many times where you warned before?
How many times did they threaten to lock the door?
Stereotypical black locked up in the system 
Lack of common sense and absolutely no wisdom

Caught up in the game and because of your pride 
You fail to see the hurt, pain and shame you see inside 
Your colour sees you as a typical disgrace 
What are you goanna to do?

Your future you can’t even begin to contemplate 
What’s done is done you sealed you fate 



Details | I do not know? | |

Change

Each time I have a happy thought I'll put a penny in a jar, 
hoping they'll save up to one day buy a fancy car. 
Each time inside I'm filled with joy in will a nickel go, 
to someday pay my travels to someplace where it snows.
Each time I add a dime it’s ‘cause good feelings that I get,
hoping it will help with my children not born yet.
Each time I add a quarter my smile has been passed to you,
this is sure to pay for tough times I will go through.
Each time I'm feeling pain or sorrow I'll add a dollar to be fair, 
hopefully in the end there won’t be much cash in there.
Now the game is over, time to ensure my hopes and dreams,
I open the lid and to my despair, all I see is green.
Until I get some change I’ll just live off these dollar bills,
because obviously nothing else is keeping my jar filled.


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Choice

I don’t know where I’m supposed to go, or who you want me to be
Would it be better if I were twenty pounds lighter, or a little bit more carefree?
What if I stop caring, or making phone calls to you at night?
Would you ask me what was going on, would you put up a fight?

I’m confused because it seems like you just don’t care
What am I supposed to do, sacrifice without allowing what is fair?
I want to be able to ignore that maybe you don’t want me as your own?
Really, be honest, have your feelings even grown?

I view you as a good man, with a heart and ambition for life
And I’m not asking for forever or even to be your wife
But I do know I deserve affection and simple courtesy
If your intentions are not the best, merely leave me be


Details | I do not know? | |

Why

I do not understand,
           Why he likes her,
           Why he ask her out,
           Why I cry,
But most of all I do not understand,
           Why we stop being friends,
           Because of her,
What I understand most,
           Is he,
          Because I like him


Details | I do not know? | |

This Is My Hell

This is my Hell
Frigid and frozen
No furnaces to light my way
A dark, drab den
One half of this lonely loveseat
I occupy incessantly
Join me for a jump into this
Quiet quarantine 


Details | I do not know? | |

A Note

Is there a cure for suicide?
Or is suicide the cure?
Emotion is a boundless tide,
But death is beautiful and pure,
The depression that commands my life,
Is consistent every day,
I hate it but I don’t cause strife,
For it is the only way,
If all I felt in life was death,
Why not end it now and end my pain?
For depression tightens with every breath,
And I’ve got nothing left to gain,
I write this now to bid goodbye,
For no one knows my endless sorrow,
I found the cure which is to die,
I won’t have to make it through tomorrow,
Look at This gun in my palm,
Won’t you Listen to it scream?
I never thought id be co calm,
When my mind is breaking at the seam,
Look at my blood on the wall,
Can you see the thoughts of my mind?
All that I did in life was fall,
And wish god wouldn’t lead me blind,
Look at the boy on the floor,
I put a bullet through his head,
What if I hadn’t closed the door?
And I just tried to go the bed,
Another day living the lie,
Always trying to hide my sorrow,
All that I really want to do is die,
But I always try to make it to tomorrow,
But never again- oh never again,
To him I just committed a crime, 
All that crap about how not to sin,
I proved him wrong for one last time,
Because if I’m dead and I chose to be,
Then I’m going to hell with the beast,
Did god love anyone less than me?
Because that man is surely deceased,
Didn’t god relieve Jobe of his pain,
Depression has always been my life,
I don’t think I can lift this chain,
Or even refuse to use that knife,
If I killed myself- what was gods aim?
God just decided to make me suffer,
Each day for me was never the same,
They all just kept on getting tougher,
But its over now and my pain is eased,
I always felt like I was caught,
I hope that everyone else is pleased,
I bet they never would have thought,


Details | Acrostic | |

Who Are You

 How dare you take advantage of me like that ,
Leaving me stranded with no way to go forward or back.
   Using the friendship that we had led me to believe,
That there was trust and honor between you and me .
   How you layed me aside and left me for dead ,
You have caused these hateful thoughts inside my head.
   Never could I have done this to any man , 
I can see you have no concious so I know you can.
  There just one thing I really want to say  about this ,
It's been a long time since I have made a clinched fist .
  You have no idea how much hurt you have caused,
It won't be me you'll have to face That's up to God
   But you will regret mistaking this kindness for weakness girl,
Bad Karma will surely consume you this is my word.
   Yes you were able to catch me completely off gaurd ,
Never again because now I know who you are .
TAC


Details | Narrative | |

He Loved You

He loved you too, you know
Loved you like his very own
In away you were
You came into his life as my friend
Through the years you grew to be my brother in arms 
Along the way you became the son he never had

He loved you as a friend
He loved you even more as a son
A son he never had
When things began to spiral out of control
You stayed when so many others ran away
You helped when I couldn’t

You meant a great deal to him
You never looked at him differently 
Nor did you treat him differently
You stood by his side
When he fell, you stood by his side and mine
You were willing to help me fight his battle for him 
You were there from the beginning 
You were there until the bitter end
Always remember my friend, my brother
He loved you more than you’ll ever know


____________________________________________________________
Dedicated to close Family friend Rodney Howard. He loved my Daddy just as much as I did/do.


Details | Salaam | |

Yeh khaalipan


Jab Meri Bechaini Mit Jayegi
Jab Mere Dilko Sukoon Mil Jayega
Yeh Khaalipan Mit Jayega

Do Pal Ki Chandni Ke Liye
Aj Bhi Zinda Hoon Main
Meri Khaamoshi Ke Ageh Aasmaan Bhi Khatam Ho Jayega

Kehne Ke Liye Toh Roz Marta Hoon Main
Thoda Aur Marne Ke Liye
Yeh Deewana Kal Phir Ayega


Details | Rhyme | |

You Were The Best Mother,




Details | Rhyme | |

A living hell My Agoraphobia

My Agoraphobia.
In 1983 you came back  into my life.
Bringing me nothing, but trouble and strife.
You kept me a prisoner in my own home.
When all I longed for, Was to go out alone.
You caused me pain, you made cry,
I felt so ill, I thought I would die.
From doctor, to doctor, from pillar to post.
Where o where, is the cure I wanted the most?
Where exactly does the answer lie?
Eventually I found it, in a doctor called Di.
She gave me the will to carry on and fight.
I fought so hard, with all of  my might.
The shops in the village seemed so very far away.
If only I could go out, just for one single day.
I tried and tried, the tears, the pain,
It was a battle lose or gain,
I gave it everything, yes everything I had.
It wasn’t easy, in fact, it was very bad.
In 1990, after 7 long years,
A lot of heartache, many, many tears,
I was starting to win the battle of getting out the door,
With each day, I was doing more and more,
But there was still so many things that I couldn’t do alone.
Still so many jobs, that had to be done on the phone.
I could now walk to the shops, there and back,
 get the groceries, take them home, and unpack,
But I still couldn’t get a bus into town on my own,
only if I had someone to go with, borrowed, on loan.
It took several more years, of heartbreak and pain,
Before I could finally travel alone again.
May 2nd  2000, I jumped on a bus and popped into town,
It was just like my world had been turned upside down.
HERE WAS I FREE AT LAST,
Finally free to forget the past.
So I decided to do something I had never done before. 
I started at college part time, each day I couldn’t wait to get out of the door,
To catch my bus, to feel like I had finally rejoined the human race.
Living life at a hectic pace.
Going to college at the age of 53,
Really did do wanders for me.
The computer course was harder than I thought it would be, 
but others in the class helped me.
Our tutor was really nice,
Always ready with good advice.
Now I really feel I have turned my life completely around,
With this new freedom I have found.
With a lot of help, from my husband and son,
The battle is over, finally won.
So its goodbye agoraphobia you belong in the past,
Never again will you get me in your grasp.

This is a true poem of my own battle with Agoraphobia, That robbed me of a lot of my life, 


Details | Free verse | |

All is not fair in love and war

People say that love never fails,
That all is fair in love and war,
But really, how do you know,
What love can or can not do?
And if all is fair in love and war, then
Why does someone always end up getting hurt?
I know my love will never fail,
Because I love you with all my heart and soul,
Because I would give my life for you,
And everything I am or have just to be with you.
However, I can not be fair to all
Because all is not fair in love and war.
I wish to hurt no one, so I don't,
But by doing so, I hurt myself.
My heart wants to be with you so much
And yet I wish to hurt no one.
So I don't, I don't confess my love for you,
I keep it locked inside,
And as a friend I stay by your side.
My love for you remains forever pure and unchanged.
I love you, Yes, I do, with all my heart and soul,
With all that I am and hope to be just for you.
My heart untamed and wild, dreaming of what if,
But it's cut in half by the love I feel for both.
My heart belongs to you but only half,
Because I gave the other half away to him.
Now I suffer for my love, for both are great,
But only one, I wish I could be with forever.
All is not fair in love and war,
So I love you both and suffer much,
Because my heart is wounded, torn in half.
I can not speak of my deep love for you,
I can not confess my feelings to you.
So I go on with my life pretending nothing's wrong.
Why must I go on without your love?
It's faith, I guess, that I suffer so.
It's destiny to love you so.


Details | Epic | |

We Lost More Than a Dad

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost half of how we came to be
We lost we four girls first love
We lost our Best Friend

We lost more than just a Dad that day
Our Mom lost her Soul Mate, Her other half 
Our children lost their Papaw
We lost our family’s foundation 
We lost the glue that held us together

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost the Strongest man we ever knew 
We lost the man we looked up too
We lost we four girls Teacher of many things

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We four girls lost our Hero
We lost some of our Light
We lost part of our Heart
We lost part of our Soul

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost some of our Courage
We lost some of our Strength
We lost some of our will to fight back
We lost some of our will to carry on
We four girls lost more than a Dad
We lost more than just a Dad that day


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

The Flower

As the time passes by season to season. I wait and wonder if this flower will ever grow. Planted so
many  times what seemed to be the right place , but once again it was not right at all. Struggling to
blossom so it can show  its color and beauty to the one that matters most of all. Thirsting for the warmth 
of the sun , starving for the attention , not really asking for much at all. So many times it felt so right , 
but things would change so quickly in the middle of the night and all would be lost. Slowly it would wither 
till there was no hope of blossoming one day. As the time passes by tears fill my eyes and there is nothing 
left to say. I only know that this flower will grow , but not this way. It must  be cared for and understood , 
loved and nourished so it will blossom and grow stronger , more beautiful then any flower you've ever known.
Will this flower ever grow? This is something I do not know. Sad as it may seem, it's even sadder to me , That I 
am that flower that will never grow , didn't you know ?

TC
 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Hospital Fairyland

THE HOSPITAL FAIRYLAND

They walked together, hand in hand,
Into life’s magical fairyland.
Where there was no trouble, where there was no pain.
Where life could really, begin all over again.
Where were no men in little white coats.
Forcing you all, to stuff drugs down your throats.
Forcing you to do, what you didn’t want to.
Telling you it was all for the best, for you,
People shouting, people crying.
Most of the people talking about dying.
What is this hell, we’ve all come to?
It’s called coming off drugs, we all have It to go through.
Where will it end, what will we do?
None of us really, has a clue.
We are given more pills, we are told, we have to take.
To the men in white coats, life’s a piece of cake.
We are the prisoners, they guard the doors.
Some try to creep out, on all fours.
Into hell and back, we go for a ride.
Eventually if we’re lucky, we come out the other side.
Where we can walk, hand in hand.
Into life’s magical Fairyland.
Where there is trouble, where there is pain.
But at least we can start, living again.


Details | Rhyme | |

Let Him Go

This poem I wrote. I call it " Let Him Go "

Sweetheart don't cry
Don't let him make you feel like your nothing
You do have family even though we are not close by
I know your heart is crushing
Don't harp on the past
Don't let him play with your head
You need to get over him fast
His feelings for you are dead
Over 2 years and you still don't have a ring
Your not the one he calls his wifey to be no more
Take a seat and listen up girl here is the thing
He's playing with your feelings and using you like a two dollar whore
I know you were smart once and can be again
He has you so brain washed it's not funny
I know hearing all this is a strain
Think of the example your setting for you little ones honey
Hold your head high and walk away from that loser mama's boy 
Show him that your the one that is too good for his sorry ass
Hell he's such a mama's boy you can find better pleasure in a toy
Your related to me so come on show your sass 
Let go of the past and look to a new future
Let go of the pain and the control freak
Say bye bye Looser
It will get easier one step at a time week by week......


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 1)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 2 to complete the poem and leave your comments on the Part 2 submission. Thank 
you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain diminished 


Me, Myself, and I...


“There are things that concern us,”
		Consensed my “Selves” in earnest
““We” fear that “I” have succumbed to delusion”

“And after careful deliberation
		It is with much hesitation
That we choose to delineate upon this confusion”


“Fact is your intuition
		Is riddled with superstition
And your judgment leaves much to be desired”

“So you leave us no recourse
		Don’t push us to use force”
It is then that the “I” was summarily fired


I exclaimed “By whose authority?” Response, “Rule of majority”
“The “Myself” and the “Me,” (forthwith the “We”), are experts in our field”

“And with much technique and time
		And some forays into the sublime
The nature of your malady will be revealed”


“So to keep yourself from having a fit
		Step back and just calm down a bit”
“We,” they said, “certainly have this under control”

“We swear this won’t hurt at all”
		Then I felt my inhibitions fall
Still I said a prayer to God that He keep my soul


You know, fact is I do feel off axis
		As evidenced by such parapraxis
As this prose that I, (or is it “Us”), seek to pen

And with my mind feeling numb
		I finally chose to succumb
And allow the “Me” and the “Myself” to begin


And then came questions in a flurry
		Answer, answer and please do hurry
Not one moment of respite did they give

They pushed and they prodded
		With every “T” crossed and “I” dotted
My mind felt like it had gone through a sieve


And all this psycho-analysis
		Is causing my mind paralysis
The questions, can you stop with the questions please

“Yes, oh yes indeed
		I do believe we have what we need
To make an attempt to identify your unknown neuroses”


Details | Free verse | |

Hot and Cold

*Hot & Cold*

“The Professional”
only in my eyes
supports
the temperature.
Mercury, rising above:

Boiling point of no return,
Injection,
Rejection,
like heartfelt tears
on the surface,
pouring of dryness
from the the deep
complete.
Bare
Plot
Both 
Dot
Cold
not good enough.

You stay,
Numbness against the impression
of adoration
wallows off
Venus, the frigged interiors of:

Freezing below zero, 
from my form,
Swallow knots
intent look 
nowhere to be found -
in the zeniths
radiation.
Core
Depth
Beauty
Death
Hot
I grasp it all.

The secret of you
I hunger!
Cannot have,
nowhere to be found-
no lease.
Stay…
A kiss so endlessly,
I need!
I want!
endurance
reassurance
your vibes
confused, 
not fixed
your placid
hallucination
during
muddy waters.
And still I may be smitten : -)

By;pd


Details | Senryu | |

Playground

Kids go down
The slide…they head toward the swings
TIME TO SCREAM!

Free time ends
Their parents want to go home
Frowns exchange 


Details | Munaajaat | |

Tell Me

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know

Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know

Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that

You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know

You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me, Help me to understand

You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel

How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door

You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't 
Answer me, you owe me that much



Sabrina Niday Hansel
~Niday40873~

(motif) Spiritual


Details | Free verse | |

If I Had The Guts

I know i have kept a lot from you.
I know its not fair. 
I know i should tell you.
I know i have to tell you.

Maybe i can tell you some, but not all.
Maybe i can keep it secret just a little longer.
Maybe i can hide it from you more.
Maybe i can get the guts to tell you everything.

Everyday, i wanna tell you.
Everyday, i hope i get the guts to tell you.
Everyday, i feel bad for not telling you.
Everyday i think about you.

Sometimes, i dont want to tell you.
Sometimes, i just want you to know it all.
Sometimes, i wish i never knew you.
Sometimes, i wish you were all mine.

If i had the guts, i would tell you everything.
If i had the guts, i would tell you how much you mean to me.
If i had the guts, i would tell you your the only reason im alive.
If i had the guts, i would tell you my biggest secret.

Just knowing that i love you.
Just knowing that you may or may not love me back.
Just knowing that i care.
Just knowing that you probably dont.

Breaks my heart.
Breaks my soul.
Breaks my dreams.
Breaks my life.

If i had you, my life would be complete.
If i had you, my life would be perfect.
If i had you, i would be happy.
If i had you, i wouldnt have to search anymore.

I know i should tell you.
I know its not fair.
I know i have kept a lot from you.
I know i should tell you.

But, i dont have the guts, 
The guts to tell you i love you,
The guts to tell you your the reason im alive,
The guts to tell you,
I need you in my life.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Shunned

Breaking down in the heart and mind.
With all regrets that are truly not kind.
Shocked at people are, so painful to see.
Abused with hated and ecstasy.
Violated and directed with torments
Lost of words or comments.
Hatred gushing out of life long experience.
Reminding yourself to become absence.
Coward and scared to even breathe.
Like the feeling of knives unsheathe.
Sharp but not enough to cut.
Enough to scare like a door that immediately shut.
The hand raised to help you is a lie.
It is a hand that slaps you so you can die.
Rough around the edges.
Crawling in your dreams in ledges.
Powered to stay alive.
You feel people want you to take a dive.
Just stop, and fall down.
Hoping to break your mental crown.
Hiding a feeling that never feels real.
Like shaking hands with demons for a deal.
Blocked out, out of your own story.
Thinking that people are stealing your glory.
Ashamed with fear.
With eyes that are full of tear.
Lost in such hidden romance.
Luck has it seems to be a dance.
Moving around in your head.
With scary thoughts and dread.
Feels like you never leave.
So you feel so many that grieve.
In your mind that is lost.
Full of drama that holds you down in cost.
Keeping in the shadow.
You watch people so shallow.
Gut instinct says that life with them is a muse.
When your just standing your accuse.
Society is just so lame.
Like all the people that are in it your to blame.
Soloing life is a brief.
Walking away is some what a relief.
I dreamed of many things.
With beautiful sorrows of wings.
Wavered in a direction that leads no where.
Escaping everything by a hair.
Pointing into the sky.
And asking yourself why.
The cage is so big.
Just enough to put on a huge rig.
Moving back and fourth.
It feels that your life does not have a worth.
Caned by laws of laughter to deceive.
Shackled up to be bent to your will to receive.
When you hope to hope.
A person can just show you the rope.
They have such friendly hands.
Like the deserts of sands.
Dangerous it is to just keep walking in it.
Lost cannot find your way even a little bit.
Just seem like your heart feels dry.
Then you give up and give a sigh.
That moment that you do is just all a dream.
You are really in a ward you will scream.
Thrust upon you because you could not protect.
So what cost you is this effect.
Warping in to your mind to leave this place.
You feel full of disgrace.
With nothing to drink.
Causing your true self to think.
Grief is such a pain with sorrow to gain.
Looking out in your own rain.




Details | Ode | |

Love is a Sacrifice

You have my soul, but you have your fate Whatever your words, I’m willing to take You have my word; I’ll give you my breath It’s like a chain that would never be break You are my love with all my heart, I’ll fight for you with all my might. And in the way, you admire your goals, You hold my hands, but not so close. As you go to your chosen path, I’ll accept the fact that we will be apart. In the dark side, I leave behind Within my faith, that you’ll arise Please don’t look back, coz I’m fighting still I’m hurting so much! Don’t want to have you near I accept my fate for what it does, I’m bleeding so much, do you know for whom it was? You reach your goals, as you want to have, Would you remind the man that gave what he had? As you reach the stars, and be the one Be a sun that shines its own. After the rain, the rainbow comes, Like dark in the moon, when the light flash A glimpse from you at least a short For then I knew my pain is worth.


Details | Haiku | |

The Internet: Return

A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
Procrastination!


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 2)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 1 first so as to get the true gist of the poem and leave your comments here on the 
Part 2 submission. Thank you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain 
diminished.


Me, Myself, and I... (continued)


“Your, (Or “Our”), symptoms seem to intermit
		And the fact that “You’re,” (“We’re”), a hypocrite
Tis no wonder we’re having such problems with diagnosis”

Then “I” had an idea so grand
		To dispense with this at my own hand
A self-inflicted coup de grace would be my prognosis


So while the “Me” and the “Myself” squabbled
		With courage newly cobbled
“I” spotted the dresser drawer and made my run

With fingers fiercely fumbling
		Whilst they continued grumbling
“I” produced from the depths of the drawer a shiny gun


And now my life, though ill-fated
		Was soon to be vindicated
This would affect us all equally the same

Would be no myself or me
		No you, him, us, or we
But an inclusive all would be to blame


It took me a moment to figure
		Out the safety on the trigger
Then “I,” (or “Us”), prepared to do the dirty deed

Then the barrel found my temple
		And as it settled into the dimple
A still small voice did my “selves” choose to heed


Hence a moment of clarity 
		Harkened me to posterity
And I thought what a legacy to leave behind

“Can’t we all find a way
		To save this miserable day
And avoid a broken body for someone to find”


And then deep within my soul
		I felt and heard a simple drum roll
And the differing sides of me just subsided

And with my mind now as one
		I worked to get this all undone
The whole business of this stuff I derided


And tis now true of fact
		That I survived this ordeal intact
And lived to raise my face unto the sky
 
And here now as it ends
		I find I’ve made good friends
With the “Me”, the “Myself,” and the “I”


Thank you for taking the time to share in my poetry. Please feel free to leave your thoughts 
or comments here on this page. 

J. Scott Burns...


Details | Free verse | |

Agree to Disagree

                                               
                                               Mankind's greatest
                                                 accomplishment...
                                                       
                                                      

                                                      is death.


Details | Couplet | |

The San Quinton Kangaroo Rat (Endangered Species)

Arriba, Arriba as Speedy Gonzalez would say
The San Quinton Kangaroo Rat is dying away 

Baja California is where they do reside
On a little strip of land just 100 meters wide

Due to agriculture and progress it’s sad to say
All but nine-miles of their habitat was taken away

Truly nocturnal they only come out at night
Strongly territorial they’re ready to fight

Once numbering in thousands now 30 are left
How long can humanity go on being deft?

They bathe in the dust so its sad but true
In captivity they last just one day or two

When they are threatened believe what I say
Two-meters at a time they go hopping away

They mainly eat seeds, fruits, insects and such
Amazing kidneys allow them to not drink very much 

They rarely drink water because these words are true
Their kidney’s are four-times as efficient as the kidney in you

The odds they will rebound are far less then slim
San Quinton Kangaroo Rats fate is looking rather grim

Even if you don’t hold rats dear to your heart
In the overall cycle of life they play their part

Every species on earth fulfills some sort of need
The San Quinton Kangaroo Rat regulates the diversity of seeds

Plants, insects, ants, and birds need them to survive
Without the San Quinton Kangaroo Rat they cannot thrive

Arriba, Arriba as Speedy Gonzalez would say
The San Quinton Kangaroo Rat is dying away
 

Being one who spent years in San Quinton this
endangered species caught my eye. Reminded
me of the jail house mouse that would frequent
my cell. An odd sort of connection I'll admit but
rather interesting I reckon.


Details | Lyric | |

This Aint Real

Your face, 
Made a fake smile, (you said)
I love you,
I need you,
I want you just for a while,
You told me,
That I made you smile,
All the things you said to me,
Are just words now,
How can we love,
When you love me for yourself,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus: 2x
What are we doin,
If this love ain't real,
What is this feeling,
That I feel,

I'm broken in emotion,
I'm broken in love, (you said)
I need you,
I want you
You're the only one,
I'm thinkin of, (so tell me)
How can we love, 
When there's always someone else,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus 2x
Bridge:
How can we love,
When there's always someone else,
How can we make up,
When you only love me for yourself,

verse #3:
You got me imprisoned, 
Inside your heart,
When kissed
I felt, Like we,
Would never be apart,
chorus 2x

 


Details | Rhyme | |

Get An Education

"The boy's got a broken brain!
- Fix him for me now,
I can't do a thing with him."

     - So I hear you say,
     Though he seems intelligent enough.

After all, he's smart enough 
To know the whys and wherefores
Of every deal that goes down on his street -
Every $ passing hands in the dark,
Summed and totalled in his head.
But Math - Forget it.
And you'll never see him crack a book for study's sake.

Perhap's that's because you broke his heart,
Long ago, though his face will never show it.
Because he bleeds inside,
Though to hear him talk you'd never know it.
You tore his shadoworld apart
Just by never being there -
You broke his proud red eggshell heart
Because he knows you never cared.

Perhaps this is why Rage is his religion,
And he only values Gain,
Why Payback is his Creed,
His only currency Pain.
This then is why he wears the shirt 
That reads, "Never Forget, Never Forgive";
This why he's unafraid to kill or die,
Yet terrified to live.

So go get an education -
 Start with a hard look at yourself -
You that schooled a nation
In the politics of Greed,
Builders of the conflagration
Of burning, unmet Need
Now threatening to consume us
As it climbs into the skies,
As it whispers warnings to us
From his vacant, coldstare eyes.

You broke his heart,
A wound more deep
Than I alone can mend,
I, just one beleaguered horseman.
Cannot set it right again.

You must help put things back together,
If you want our nightmares to end.


Details | Free verse | |

To The PE Teacher

I'm over it
I'm giving up
I don't have to do it
Yet you force me to like I'm a chump
I avoid it like an illness
You let it go
But today is the day
You took it no more
You didn't yell
Yet you exchanged insults
You hurt my feelings
That was the result
You called me a girl
You called me a clown
And if this keeps up
You're going down
Can't you see
I don't like PE
I'm not being rebel
But you scare me into anxitey
Just leave me alone
You treat me like a drone
You're not getting forgiveness
But you can get off my blacklist
If you cease and desist


Details | Narrative | |

Don't Take My Kindness For Granted

You think that you know me
But you don't know at all
Every day you say your sorry
After that I fall
I hate it when you lie
You think your doing good
When all you cause is pain
Just tell me that you hate me
So my life won't be in vein...


Details | Lyric | |

Overcoming Struggle

Overlook a lifetime past
Remember how it did not last
Life changes quickly before your eyes.
This so called reality surrounded by lies.
A sad thought it may seem
I do not want to open  my eyes to another dream.
Real reality set in.
Lets look forward and begin
I am in this game of life to win.
I will not give up and lose.
I will stand tall
even though I am battered and bruised.


Details | Alliteration | |

War has come , War has come

War has come , war has come,
My home once a gem of beauty , to fires and rage it succumbed,
Powerless i watched , the desolation of man
How evil overwhelms and greed robs one of all sense
Day by Day loved ones fell,
Till our lives became nothing short of hell,
I prayed in silence fearing my inevitable doom,
For the grim reaper lays in wait ,
Thus i have resigned to my fate..

The morning sun arrived,
With the heavens granting me another day,
The screams have gone silent , with no presence of tyranny,
I run through the village searching for a sign of hope,
Till my legs grew weary and my vision grew dim,
I muster what strength i have,
Refusing to become a victim of fate,
Footsteps i hear , approaching fast,
Men with weapons with black souls drenched in hate,
As i look into the eyes of my executioner ,
with the certainty of death,
memories of my life flash , as i take my last breath,
War has come , War has come


Details | Elegy | |

Stranger


My heart egos and my life drained from me
Simple life I live, I act as I know all
But I know not, no, not even a little
I earnestly seek for recognitions
But my life and my heart is a hole.
An empty vessel, soulless, loveless

I have been succumb by the pain of heart aches
I have become a broken man,
Know not what my future holds
I envy those who went before me, who were acknowledge

I hold on to the little shred of hope in me, 
I am being drowned by my own sorrows.
Love, hate, a new beginning and ending of my old self never seems to happen
My wrath against my enemies is nothing for they humor me with insults.
Let not death come to me in misery and despair, 
For life is full of joy and full of sorrows.

Love me, as who would love a stranger from nowhere.
Let my sorrows be taken away by the love of many
But at last, no one would.
Don’t cry for me, for no one knows me
They came before my grave and said “who is this man?”
“Why is the name not written?”
It is not written because I am nothing
Don’t shed a tear for the stranger such as me.

Life is like a dream on a calm sea,
As the captain gracefully steer and gently moves its rudder.
The passenger puts their lives in his hands,
A calm sea is the heaven of any sailor.
“So, where is my captain?”
The wind blows every so gently,
But my heart sinks gently into the sea;
Who will mourn for the stranger?

Drowned from my grief, 
My faith begins to waver like a ship tossed around by the winnowing wind
My heaven, my calm sea turns against me as I sail the Galilean sea
“Where are thy words that calm the raging storm?”
Ay! I have no peace even in my passing.
I have not thy words of command,
For my faith has been tossed away by the hating winds,  
Shallow, empty, and broken I lay here in an unnamed grave.

Only thy mercy will guide me to the third heaven!
Let my sorrows be washed away by the blood of the innocent lamp.
Let thy words be the honey drops for mine, 
As this world knows only lies
Blinded by greed and lust, 
They seek only to destroy of what they fear.
And my sorrows are tossed away by thy promises.
For thy compassion for lost sheep is great.

"Have I found peace?"
I have, for I know my heart is at rest when my body has aged
And my salvation has come
When I died with thy Words of truth


Details | Free verse | |

Laughter Comes 'round the Curves

When sorrow reigns fierce Within your heart's chambers Slowly dragging its feet Oblivious to your pain Listen to another’s story Give your time; lend an ear Soon, feel your heart lighten! And then you’ll realize, you’re not alone As you share each other's burdens Laughter comes ‘round the curves' See how fast crooked paths straighten And as laughter grows, sorrow fades ~*~


Details | Free verse | |

Nobody's Child

Her chapped palms smell of
-ungrateful jasmine-
roughened by shrewd plays of world.
And in the creases of
- youthful forehead-
sleeps an orphaned childhood, old.

Among distasteful leering,
ineffectual rags of
-modesty cries-
unfortunate beauty trapped among
-lechers-
pawn broker and hawker alike.

-Nobody’s Child -
gazes high UP , at the
  S
  K
  Y
  S
  C
  R
  A
  P
  E
  R
  S ,
elegant unreachable stairs
winding beyond clouds yonder. 

S L O W L Y sighing,
At the dreams hidden, on the dark side of
half bitten moon.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

- Blood - Tears - Death -


                                      I heard angels singing about peace
                                     Silence in this room only a dim light
                                   Is it just a dream of freedom and peace
                                   Breaking down the lie build up the truth
                                     I'm in doubt .... do I hear angel song
                                  Give me an answer, take away my doubt
                                  Feeling a little turbulence and bit scared
                             The song is mighty they are singing about peace
                                    Silence comes and the dim light is gone
                                 There is too much injustice, bombs and war
                                       I feel so tired, small and ashamed
                                       You are like me and I am like you
                                       I hear no angels singing any more
                                         Only Blood, Tears and Death






 * Boston bombing in April 2013

20.04.2013
A-L  Andresen :)


Details | Free verse | |

STILL

I have developed a temporary dislike of the things that I’ve convinced myself have been keeping you away from me. Mere substitutes that admitted to the murder of your mind.

This phone, and this 11 o’clock moon have slayed my reason’s for not just blaming your wandering eye.

Most of these nights I’ve tried Ctrl.Alt.Del.(ing) any ridiculous thoughts, by selecting all of the frequently frustrating things that know just how to push my buttons. I don’t know why I’m speaking in computer terms, but lately I haven’t been able to function quite right unless I’m near one. It’s the only way to get near you.

Most of these nights, this phone has been the entire left side of my brain, but now my mattress has memorized the rhythm to a ringtone it should’ve never been introduced to, and now the stupid cushion keeps me awake until it has made sure that I’ve felt it vibrating up my spine. My intuitive, creative right brain seems to remember being together with it’s brother each and every time I remember laying together beside you.

I wait for a wanting of your wanting. Muscle memories of warm bodies wrapped up in positions that make your mind say ‘what the ****?’ I am missing you. The you who remembers that the other members of her body are always here to help; no need to amputate a listening ear, or an gouge out an attentive eye. I still see you.

Sometimes, I forget that the phone’s main function is to send a signal of information to someone you can’t see. Whether it be via text, twitter app or vocally, you want to reach someone you can’t see. I still see you.

Sometimes, I swear I can see each of the moon’s phases during the day;  completely filled with life during the time when it’s nearly invisible. It’s sad though, because New Moon, you show yourself to everyone else except me on the nights I always expect to see your face. Is this a trick man? or have my eyes been gouged out already, and I simply missed the painful message via text, twitter app or vocally? But still, whether with two eyes, four eyes or no eyes, I still see you.


Details | Elegy | |

The Lament For an Angel

All in one faded-black day (but let None forget) In my arms, her body lay (my life was the price to pay) A tragedy, through the lack of humanly shame (do they know pain) My darkly colleen has to suffer no more (Robert nor do you) Let me die (please hear my haunted cries) If I can not see Sophie tonight (live on with my grey) I'm just a mess of despairing words And broken nerves Another mourning, afflicted sight (through decay, love can remain) Solace, sympathy are just more lies She is all I need Until you decide she is just another sadist's toy My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away (My body is amortal, die I may, Together, our hearts will forever stay)


Details | Haiku | |

The suicide note

In his suicide note
My poverty is to blame
No one else, he wrote


Details | I do not know? | |

The Loyalty Bond

How kind of you to think of me
On this beautiful autumn day
Were your thoughts regarding your loyalty?
Or were they thoughts rehearsed to display?

Such a powerful thing, this loyalty bond
Something we all inevitably yearn
A bond of trust and fidelity
A bond which we all must earn

Many will take it lightly
Most will not understand
Some will honor and embrace it
Yet the majority will heartily disband

I laugh at the thought of the loyalty bond
The yearning of a bond which does not exist
Its amazing how all of us will long for
An illusion so easily dismissed


Details | Elegy | |

A TEAR FOR DADDY

written 22nd Oct 2013



Even after sixteen years
 still I cry your daughters tears
Every year on this day, will always be sad
 known only as the date, God took my dad

    1st June 1954- 22nd Oct 1997
    
         Allan Thomas Holmes


Details | Alliteration | |

Cheater's Chair

A destructive dance indeed,
betwixt the two we bleed.
A bellowing, bloody abate,
this stale, seductive state.

Simple, senseless steeds,
jealous fires feed.
Perjuring petty plights,
demons do delight.

A crimson, cheaters chair,
awful angers air.
No trust, truth or taste,
wallowed wantons waste.

Envious, eager eyes,
rejoicing a wrathful rise.
Coveting, careless couth, 
yesteryear's eager  youth.


Details | Pantoum | |

They Took Away My Innocence

They took away my innocence—
A child, but merely two years old.
My soul left with ambivalence;
I hate myself as I grow old.

A child, but merely two years old—
Abandoned, glossed over, abused.
I hate myself as I grow old;
Completely left confused and used.

Abandoned, glossed over, abused—
Why would a person hurt a child?
Completely left confused and used—
Naïf, so trusting, meek, and mild.

Why would a person hurt a child?
My soul left with ambivalence—
Naïf, so trusting, meek, and mild.
They took away my innocence.

	



Details | Personification | |

This Day

This is a day that I could have really done without,
Saying you love me and do this to me hurts no doubt.
   Day  after day I pray that you will please stop,
What pain you've caused me has taken all I've got .
   I love you and adore you but it seems not to matter,
Still you continue to hurt me leaving my heart shattered.
   You come to me with words I have only  dreamed ,
But what they were meant for was to hurt me it seems .
    Never  have I seen a woman with so much hate ,
Taking revenge on me by disrespecting me till it hurts.
    True I have  waivered with my troubles with trust,
The one thing thats important and this is a must.
     There are no more words or sayings that will ever work,
I have tried everything  I know giving it all that its worth .     
     To the day I die I will never understand why ,
The woman I love does everything to make me cry .
     So this my dream to be forever with you ,
Is only nightmares for me  and dying is all I can do.
     This a day I surely could do without.
TAC


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Rhyme | |

Complaint

We walk in the rays of soft sunshine
That glow in the arms of love;
And never appreciate the blessings
God showers on us from above.
For I am feeling as I count them 
That we have more than we need;
And all we don't have are the angels
To bring heaven to earth indeed.

The winter brings long fire lit twilights
The spring brings a season of flowers
Summer brings all a sweet harvest
While fall brings the scent of sad hours.
The woods are alive with birdsong
A moon paints the waves of the sea;
The meadows are scented with clover
And all earth is as good as can be.

But people are full of such protest
Discontent is always their sad lot;
They forget so much has been given
And go whining for all they have not.
Instead of the light in the heavens
That shines on our day and our nights;
They look at the dirt on their feet
And forget all the earth’s delights.
They drink the wine that is sour
And never taste that which is sweet.
They moan for the thorn on the rose
Not heeding its scent so replete.

They don’t look at the garden of bloom
Precious blessings there without number;
They weep for what lies in the tomb.
Who lie in the arms of death’s slumber.
The error is ours to confess
They can’t find the way to go;
They close their eyes while the heart denies
That Eden is not theirs to know.


Details | Rhyme | |

Thoughts That Grow Louder

With a whispered thought comes a dream
To be above the shame and guilt
Of losing pride in what would seem,
To most, the whole of what we built.

With a quiet thought comes the fear,
And shadows close the doors of reason.
I see racing frames of pictures clear, 
Rendering unbearable deeds of treason.

With that clear thought, I stand corrected-
So much love has come and gone,
But I, alone, must stay connected 
To what I know and where I belong.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

All Day Long

All. Day. Long.

I sit there, in my chair, All. Day. Long. 
Glaring at people I hate. 
The people who are but mere memories.
Mere dust in the wind.

All that I know has blown away, 
taken by my faulty actions.
The dull replay of Meteora fills my room with lyrical insanity, 
tempting me with beat and anger. 
But I’ve realised it’s not the music that’s dull.
It’s myself. I am dull. 
 Dull, empty, detached, dead. 
My actions have caused this, my mental instability.

My arms and wrists, they’re crisscrossed with faint pink patterns,
the product of my attempts at reattachment and relief.
Eternal smiles of violet beneath my eyes, wrinkles surround my lips. 
My skin, yellow from the drugs, reflects weakly the sunlight from outside.
I blame everyone but myself, my personality rotten to the core.
My lungs, as well, shredded by smoke that acted like needles.

I couldn’t help myself, I jest in my mind. 
I’ve been trying to shove the blame onto something but myself, 
only to find there is nothing to blame but myself.

My body has been wracked to this state, 
a state well beyond my mere 29 years. 
My mind, hanging from a cliff. 
Threatening to free fall at any moment. 

As I sit there, in my chair, 
memories of an age long gone from my life flash before my eyes.
 A girl I loved, laughing.
 Her and I lying in the grass, at a lake’s edge.
A cat akin to night, eyes green as mine, purring softly in my lap.
Flashes of guns, from a war forgotten by all but me. 

As I reminisce these memories, a spark of feeling—pain.
Upwelling in my gut.
 Through my chest.
 Stabbing into the side of my head.
The pain triggers a new wave of recollection. 

Again, the girl. My mind so foggy I can’t remember her name. 
Dancing slowly to a song no longer heard of. 
Snow. A blush of the cheeks. Hands in mine, warming and comfortable.
The pain in my head intensifies, blinding me. 
I fall from my chair, the first time I’ve moved all day. In 2 days.

Shaking my head, I pull myself up. Standing, I look around. 
Another flash of pain, followed by a sensation I’d all but forgotten.
Her lips. At dusk. The very first time.
I stumble away from an unseen being, crashing into the wall. 
Blinking my eyes furiously, I right myself. 
Waiting a moment, I sit back down. 
And let the dullness take over, the pain ebb away, 
and the memories to replay.
All. Day. Long.


Details | Free verse | |

The Wall, The Wall

The Wall, The Wall

I
the world fades from my fingertips
like blood oozing from an open wound
the sky is ripped apart and full of thunder
and my eyes are twisted in pain

shut the door and lock me within
the light is buzzing and flickering
something is about to explode
or maybe thats just my soul

softly touch the wall and it corrodes
the white paint peels and turns black
and cracks appear on the surface
a garbage touch that ruins it all

for years the signs of ruin were there
building up behind fragile white walls
and now i sit here with an open chest
my heart nailed to the damned wall

and as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood from an open wound
the sky outside is bloody and tormented
and i cant begin to see my own reality

II
im so afraid that if i get up ill fall again
damned by the ghosts of the past
the flashing glare of reality looms larger
closing in on me and slapping me

if only someone could open the door
and let me out of this foreboding room
perhaps i could see more than whats inside
instead of slicing myself in half

remember it was your verse that ended me
slicing off my fingers one by one
it was when my heart was nailed to the wall
that i truly forgot how to feel

my sickening screams echo loudly
throughout the confines of my own mind
reverberating down my spine
and leaving me in a shivering fit

as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood pouring from an open wound
the sky outside has faded to a deep black
and i cant begin to see my own reality


Details | Tanka | |

Test of Love

When bodies cease
 To emit jasmine’s fragrance
When lips aren’t rosebuds
Old age, season to test
The love of those you loved
 


Details | Acrostic | |

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!


Details | Lyric | |

I Just Want My Life Back

Dedicated to everyone at Freedom Middle School
06-07
I love you guys with all my heart

The hallways are full of laughter, 
The friends are full of love
The good friends are playful,
Giving each other a little shove.
The classes were a bit of a challenge,
The tests more of a breeze
Studying was the hard part
But it put our minds at ease.
The drama was overrated
The fights were way too many
But the make-ups and break-ups made a difference
And made us think a plenty.
The teachers were our light
That got us to where we are
Even connections, useless as they seem to be,
Will help us go really far
The hearts were full of words unsaid
As we took our final steps
Outside the doors, into a new life
As we drew in our final, middle school breath.
The eyes were full of spilling tears
That cascaded down our cheeks
The sun was shining, so how could we
Be feeling so very bleak?
All of it is now a blur
I wish I could go back
And change everything that I had done
Just wipe it away to be packed.
But we can't change our mistakes in the past
And we can't relive our lives
As much as we wish we could return
To the place where our last tears together were cried.
The middle school years were the best
And we're sad to see them go
Especially those who didn't say a lot
Who didn't let their true love show.
We were alive when we were at school
Because we were with the people we loved
Our memories are the best token of that year
Even jokingly being shoved.
But now that all my friends are gone
Onto high school, seperate ones at that,
I'm still here, silently hoping
Wishing that I could go back.
But our time there was for the best,
And this has hit me with a hard SMACK!
I love everyone there, and now I have to say
I just want my life back.


Details | Sonnet | |

Many goodbyes

So many ways to say goodbye hwyl fawr is what you say
when  your leaving  here