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Introspection Pain Poems | Introspection Poems About Pain

These Introspection Pain poems are examples of Introspection poems about Pain. These are the best examples of Introspection Pain poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Light Poetry | |

Burka Woman

Such deep amber green eyes
Stare into me
Like arrows that so delicately pierce my heart
She is covered in a curtain of black woven cloth
Ah but her hair flows like caramel 
She is concealed and wrapped, the camouflage of fear
The burka hiding the princess within
I may not see with my eyes
Oh but how my heart dreams
Of running in the meadows, laughter at our own happiness
Her voice is musical, and softly charms my soul
I am lost in illusions, of this woman in chador
She hides inside this blackness
Her heart protected by dragons
In the dragons lair so deep
I gaze intently into this darkness
I breathe the fire of rejection
I have no chance with this maiden of such beauty
You see
Her dress is blue like the summer breeze
Her hair blonde like the golden skies
She is the desire of many a suitor
As she sleeps in the drum tower
High above all of loves intentions
The bailey her only wanderings
As you see the only burka she ever wore
Was around her heart


Details | Rhyme | |

The Hypocritical Christian

I am the hypocritical Christian.
I say I follow Christ,
But I'm still consumed by my demons.
I go to church on Sunday,
But I refuse to invite someone back.
I want to serve on mission,
But I'm too afraid to act.
They think I read The Bible,
But I just fall asleep in it.
They think I'm positivity and smiles,
But underneath I'm death and addictions.
They think I'm clean and pure,
But I'm broken and mistaken.
I say I'm not worthy of His love,
But Jesus will never let me be forsaken.
I pray long prayers,
But inside they're empty repetition.
It might look as if my faith is strong,
But my core is too easily shaken.
I say the things I'm supposed to say,
But don't follow His actions or obey.
I speak the truth the church wants to hear,
But deep inside on matters I don't know what to believe.
I walk in shame as if I'm not good enough
To be loved by God and saved through Christ,
But there is nothing I could ever do to earn His peace;
It's a free gift.
I accept;
Now forgiven, changed, and released.
Thank You God,
Thank You Jesus,
Thank You Holy Spirit!
In Jesus' Holy Name,
We pray,
Amen!


Details | Free verse | |

Interalphabetnet sex stew



Primose path leads to the slaughter of American
dream delete pause proficiency with internetty
webbegone after thoughts of yahoo googleyed 
interred intracacises that shed benign capsules of
 mom entary apple pie delquiences cooling 
the soul shopping for the next alias avenue of
pointless me procurement mauling an ongoing
onerous dildodate vis a vie meme.com/me in 
an engaging omnipresence of sextext no tact
spell ckeck chicshicshakplak no sense tic tac.
Talk? Walk? Balk? Chalk? Sue? Sulk? 
Dinosaur diligence posse with the senior
gestages gestulating, we r forevre 21 and ying yang 
dung. Yes, good f ing luck with that!! Look at your 
petridish parents and see what box u check to lid close
and abscond with the lost liberal leftovers. That
is you in reverse in a few carnal years after Hilter youth
children decide to screw us as the new 
generation which skewer post present parental postulates 
to the oldster outhouse outlets so u can be "youf" free. Little
do they notknow as they cumulatively co opulate 
that they set the stooge stage for no thanx ahole actions. 
The DOS does'nt fall from the Apple tree. Leave it, 
love it, learn it while ye may, the kid crisp cosmos of
offspring social dicktates are biting at your heartbeatbit 
empty elmo enterprises. Pause parenatal prenatal
preferences prepearing perinatal persons pretasking
postnatal practices, in which you have veno papa preparation.
Think before you For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge and Analyze
your ass-incarnate initiate. Borrow berofe u basterdize, 
condomize before u copu culminate, decide before
u dicktate, envision before u envy, fail before u foil, 
grasp before u germinate, halt before u hinder, 
illuminate before u illerate, jump before u jinx, 
kill before u keep, love before u lay, meaning before
moaning, neutralize before u now, obilerate before
u ooops! presence before predicament, quit before
quake, resilience before ridiculous, sanity before
sexusensuality, thinkth before u thumpth, utilize
before u unionize, victory before victimization, we 
before want, xx nor xy, zen before zeal. Pocket 
passion files fly in the face of ruined reason residules
to the point of pronounced perplextion plagued 
prominantly with no recall references to problematic 
protocals for near north normalicies in my buckeye
life measures of simpatico silly symbiosis sublime
of mini me monophile mucous made misdemeanor
milktoast memories. Pass go, collect $200.



Details | Quatrain | |

Lonely Dreams

I never knew following dreams could be this lonely,
But up on the hill, looking back, thank God I'm not the old me.
If the tears will fall, let them be;
I believe this is God's plan, follow your dreams.


Details | Free verse | |

I know (Oppression)

One thing that I know all about, without any doubt
        The meaning of “Oppression of The Soul.”
               I once shattered all my dreams, with ill-gotten schemes
                      Along with every single goal
Emptiness is a real dark thing
        As it eats its way through your soul
              I found the bottom of the pit, all I can say of it
                       It truly was a very empty hole
I guess every story has a meaning
         Just as every game has a price
              If you look closely at me, you’ll be able to see
                      A lifetime of pain in my advice
Oppression is a real dark word
        Regardless of how the word is used
                 If you’re in the shadow of it, the bottom the pit
                          You know what it means to be abused
For years I walked in the shadows
      I had nothing but hatred for the Son
                I just couldn’t see, why it had to be
                        All the things in my life that had been done
If you were to look into my eyes
      And read all the stories they have to tell
            All you would be able to see, is pain and misery
                   A shadow that was in a living hell
I know all about oppression
     For it rolls upon the shores of hate
        I once looked in the mirror to see, a ghost living in me
             Just a skeleton walking through his fate
I also know all about redemption
     Behind every shadow there rest some form of light
                   With in the breath of a prayer, I learned how to care
                           Thus changing the course of my plight
Every story has a meaning
        There is a way to right any wrong
                Grasp to the light, and then hold on tight
                          As you search for the meaning of your song
My song once was heavy metal
         I truly loved to bang my head
                 An empty soul, with a bottomless hole
                          A never-ending hunger to be fed
Now my song is a ballad
        A story that is full of hope and love
                I learned how to pray, and give it away
                       Accepting grace from the Lord above
Oppression crosses our paths everyday
        It is everywhere to see
                You know what’s right, learn to stand and fight
                       You will have learned to be all that you can be
 

Written for the "Oppression of the Soul Contest)


Details | Rhyme | |

My Parent

My Parent

The rules said “one parent not two”
Good for me as I only had you
No selection; no one to choose
Who is this parent; just follow the clues

Next rule; write something “profound” 
Something good or something that makes you frown
This one was easy 
Considering all you ever said was greasy

“You stupid _____”
This one was rich
“Go get the belt”
Not satisfied till there was a welt 
The pain is still felt

How about “you swine”
Became a preference in time
Not “go to bed”
Followed by a blow to the head
So hard could have become brain dead

Your scars are still here
Your pain I still wear
Your mistakes I still bare
Your voice I still hear

Your secrets I now declare
Your presence I no longer fear
Your wrong doings I am aware
Your hate is replaced with tender loving care

Did you follow the clues
Who's this in reference to
Someone you want to be related to
Perhaps it’s someone you already do
This is my parent… I wish it were untrue!

Lay


**For "My Parent" contest sponsored by Francine Roberts.
* Honorable Mention







Details | Free verse | |

Lies Of Perfection

in the night, he reaches, my body responds, aching to be near 
yet the mind screams, pulls back inside its deep recesses
familiar pain rears, sits nonchalantly, laughing, taunting me 
is it I who am loved or am I just involved in the act of love 
the end justifying the means, a single moment, a brief interlude 
conveniently remembered and enacted, how can one truly tell? 

I opened my heart and yet I know, I'm not what he was looking for
the knowledge leaves me cold and saddened, ice forming around my core 
rejection, inferiority, second best, all words that accurately describe 
yet leave no telltale signs of the great pain that they have inflicted 
reality and yet my hands roam freely his body as I welcome him inside 
to lie buried deep within my being, my heart beating furiously

the sheer joy of being loved blocking out the fear, feeding on hope 
even if his emotions are not real, every fibre of my being yearns 
to one day capture all his love, to see it expressed in his eyes 
to silently carve my essence indelibly upon his heart,
to feel it in his smiles warmth, as his eyes adore each curve  
the knowledge that says you are mine and I will love you always 

everyone wants perfection, those that know that they are not 
nor ever will be the one, suffer from the lies of perfection 
so here I lie, accepting the very little that is being offered 
praying to someday find more, existing in that in between world 
between shadow and light, where nothing is clear, everything is shaded
needing to be perfection to someone, as I breathe deeply with eyes drifting into 
my dreams, helplessly staring across the bed of my future
 


Details | Free verse | |

Loving and Breathing (Dilemma of The Broken Hearted)

Inhaled at the age of innocence,
with a breath that lies between stars,
with immortal depths that have no
ending as my lungs forever expand,
Exhalation has become unachievable,
due to the obstruction of faith
of a boy for his very first dream,
Chest heaving as a heart aches,

Is love a tree or the deepest ocean?
My breath or my reason for holding?
The questions unanswered since the 
dawn of man and emotion alike,
Thus the bittersweet conclusion
appears that love equals the two,
Yet how does such beauty create
a pain that suffers from insomnia?

Expendable only to a few torn souls
who have breathed the sweet intoxication
of love, and caressed the linger of its enticing
aroma, and suffered the sting of its departure,
Leaving hearts which cannot withstand the
agony, to exhale affection for everything in
its entirety, crushing the hope of such youths,
yet this warning takes nothing from its appeal,

For to breathe love, is to touch enchantment,
As romance itself in but a breathe shared 
between two spirits rewarded for persistence,
With the risk of being proven fallible,
which leads to tears and pain entwined,
Must we not embrace the risk as reward?
For those as myself, who answered "no"
are condemned to the most fragile breathing,

For each breath hurts like the last
One love, one lost, one breath in all,
Breathing her in as if she has become
the last breath of oxygen in my life,
For she has, she has become my only,
due to a choice made for the perfect love,
Yet my painful irony has become, breathing
and loving, with each one, keeping 
the agony of the other alive forever


Details | Free verse | |

Who am I

In the mirror on Vishu morning I see an Indian woman
Whose Brooklyn tongue can't form Hindu prayers.
Can I bleach my skin to match my voice?
Can I scrape my tongue to match my face?
I've resigned myself to my fate--
Forever asking the sky
"Njan aara?"
In a language my children will never recognize,
In an accent my grandparents will never understand.
I am what my parents feared I may become;
A child whose soul has turned Westward;
A woman whose only memories of Diwali are the flickering lights.


Details | Free verse | |

First Thing You Should Know 2

First thing you should know, is this isn’t a poem, it’s not a story, it’s not a song.  These 
are just the mad ramblings of a genius with a headache. 
Watching the smoke curl between his fingertips, he wonders.  Is it his body that’s on 
fire or his soul?  Physically he feels fine yet he sees the flames, inside the pain is 
excruciating yet, not a scratch to be seen.  Isn’t that a thought though, not a scratch to 
be seen on his soul.  Why is it that the scratches and cuts that do the most damage are 
the ones you can never see?  How can that much pain not leave a visible mark?  How 
much pain can the soul take before it turns into the story of humpty dumpty, never to 
be put back together again?  Isn’t it funny how you can forget your dying, when you 
have died inside?
First thing you should know, is this isn’t a poem, it’s not a story, it’s not a song.  These 
are just the mad ramblings of a genius with a headache.


Details | Quatrain | |

All That I Know

I wish I had the knowledge of
lifes most important things
knew how to end lifes problems
and all the pain it brings.

I don't know much of anything
but I do know how pain feels
and I know this life is filled
with too many bad deals.

I always try to understand
what others say and do
because I may not really know
just what they have been through.

I never want to cause more pain
that doesn't have to be
and pray that someone else in turn
will do the same for me.


Details | Narrative | |

Call Me Gonzo

For thoose of you who may not know.
Just call me gonzo I write the absurd for life is insane and sometimes 
it takes a madman to speak the truth so very clear.

I write for the broken vacant faces that have lost all hope.
To the dreamer who's well is slowley running dry from everyone
telling him to stop wasting his time.

I write like a endless highway fueled by whiskey and wild women 
every adventure leads to pain but life is pain and i love in spite of it.

I thirst for every unseen mile the desert my brother it's people dwell
in the spirt of the west the opium parlors and brothels spirt still linger.
I write with a hint of danger and a promise of disaster.

Im a blues player whos trying to out run the devil.
Im a outlaw riding to cross the border a woman looking to the 
empty range for my return.

I write because I breath in a world were the creative air has gone 
stale.
The bottle sits apon table and I welcome any strangers company
I just rather that stranger be a warm woman instead of a 
unfriendly amigo who is a little jelouse.

Write to be more than just part of the highways landscape.
Some may call me crude crazy insane some even vulgar and 
liar and thief.
But aside from thoose compliments.
No matter what you may call me.
Dont ever forget to just call me gonzo.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost in Ink Stains

My words are lost in ink stains 
Verses smudged in prints of you 
Illegible scribbles soon fill in lines 
Once paved with love anew  
Now only paperless pain ensues 

An unnatural sequence of thoughts
Scribed in distressed hues of blue
Will re-actively release your grip 
But the pain it can’t undo 
Now only agony grew

My heart hands weep writes of tomorrow  
My paper and pen are tempered in sorrow
My emotions bellow wallows 

Of a mournful mind  
I pray
This too 
Shall pass
In time…



 


Details | Free verse | |

A Letter of Love/Hate

This hurts too much,
Even though at times
Its the best thing ever.
However,  the pain I feel right now 
Is destroying all that I am. 
I feel worthless and dumb. 
Vunerable and used. 
I also feel loved and special. 
Beautiful and wanted. 
These feeling are so extreme in every which way possible.
I love how I feel when with you
I hate how I feel guilty when we part
I love looking in your eyes
I hate when mine cry
Your fingers along my face also touches her
Those lips that drive me crazy
Are sleeping against her neck tonight
I love who I am around you
I hate what I have turned into
I love the way you make me feel
I hate that she must feel that as well
No matter how good it feels
This pain is too much to bear
I love you
I truely truely do
But the hurt is not worth
The random few moments of bliss.
Goodbye, my love-hate lover
Goodbye





**Note**
This is a letter/poem I wrote for someone special. But it moves me so much every time i 
read it, I thought maybe someone else would enjoy reading it as well. 'To write is to share 
with the world, how we all feel but never speak of'     Lisa


Details | I do not know? | |

(It Feels) Like: This too shall pass

Like the end
Like a death
Like you cant catch your breath
Like it wont end
Like the pain will kill you
Like tomorrow will be full of more pain
Like your heartbeat will stop
Like no one likes you forever
Like you will never love again
Like all you ever known has rejected you
Like your soul is crying
Like your darkest place has kicked you out
Like you will never recover
Like you are the ONLY one
Like you can’t go own another moment
Like you are the biggest fool
Like the LIE is real
Like the truth did not set you free
Like she is the only love
Like being ask to live the rest of your life without LOVE
Like there is no forgiveness for you
Like God stop your blessings
Like you have flat lined but didn’t die
Like you die every every day every day
Like you are the worst person ever
Like God doesn’t love you
Like you won’t make it back from the pain
Like you want to weep
Like you want to weep
Like you want to weep
Like there will never be someone who adores you…for you
Like your heart is broken
Like you can’t go on
Like you love a love that don’t love you back
Like you don’t know how to love, so it asks to be excused and leaves
Like your life and your love won’t ever matter
Like you want be blessed anymore 
Like you have wasted so much time…
Like you want to just die… (Make the pain stop)
Like hope is as hope does…no hope for you
Like they get away ….Free and clear
Like you are left broken 
Like they get to live HAPPY EVER AFTER
LIKE: THIS TOO SHALL PASS


Details | Free verse | |

Untwisted

Sometimes the memories won’t fade 
         All the places we have seen
         All the prices we have paid 
The memories of the happy as well as the sad 
            The people we’ve lost
           The friends that we had 
Some memories just seem like a ghost 
I always lost everyone that I loved the most 
The wind would just carry them away 
             Along with my tears 
            And my ability to pray
    I wonder how far is heaven from here?
              How many more heartaches 
                 How many more tears 
              I wonder how far it is away
Because I have so many things that I wish to say 
To all the people that I loved and I lost 
             I’m not even tripping 
             My heart paid the cost 
The reaper rode the river in a bikers disguise 
I’ll never forget the fear in my mother’s eyes 
    As he drug her under and then let her go 
Through my four year old veins hate started to grow 
My eyes were blind my ears were deaf 
After that I forgot  
           There was anything left  
Karma is like poker for it is bound to luck 
When I was just a boy 
God through me under the truck 
Of all the things in life we feel 
   We are all bound to God’s will 
Passion is a doorway between love and hate 
    God is the dealer in the game of fate 
              Our place is not to question why 
                       For if we do our faith will die 
            The deeper we hate the deeper we love 
            I was gifted wisdom by the Lord above 
                    Every gift comes at a price 
A world of experience behind my advice 
     Every smile holds a lifetime of pain 
Nothing that happens should happen in vein 
                         It is our choice that which we do 
 Know in your heart these words are true 
The harder we fall the further we climb 
             No ones life is totally sublime 
Illusion after illusion will be offered to you 
                 But only the living word is true 
The living word that beats in your heart 
Will keep you safe as the world falls apart 
Through the pain of a boy watching his mother die 
It’s never to late to kiss the sky
A man of faith who could never give up 
Please come break my bread and share in my cup 
By the time our journey is through 
                      I’ll share all I am with you 
          Hopefully somewhere in my words you’ll see 
              ---Untwisted is truly the way to be---



Details | Prose | |

WHISPERS UNHEARD

my friend I've met you in
the most peculiar way
I feel what you feel I cry
as though we speak.....

my friend your not alone
in this world  I too have felt
the loneliness the fear..

one day life won't seem so
cold you'll see the wondrous 
ways of human kind.......

crying so loud but a cry
that isn't heard in hearts
or oides of others...

shamefully I speak of remorse
and guilt as for me 
a life altering journey...

A blade that cuts me open
doesn't leave a trace but grasping 
for comfort it bleeds blood of sorrow
blood of death......


Details | Quatrain | |

Minor Discomfort

Does everybody feel the same as I do?
Lost? Adrift? Disconnected? Confused?
Does anyone know how to ease the hurt of truth
For the accuser, as well as the accused?

I've heard there's bliss
Found somewhere in ignorance
For those who have been stripped
Of their already fleeting innocence

So I continue to move through this life
Practiced smile, that doesn't quite reach my eyes
Which instead reflect the emptiness
That fills me up inside

It hurts to feel so alone and uncertain
Consumed by doubt and fear
Eventually life becomes a burden
Damaged beyond all repair

The temptation to numb all sensation
It more powerful than one might believe
I'll sacrifice the pleasure, to relieve the devastation
As passion gives way to apathy

Say whatever you want
About those who dwell on the past
Go ahead and judge me from your moral soapbox
While you cower behind your mask

The opinions of most matter very little to me
It won't be taken to heart as you intend it to be
First you'd have to practice the words you preach
If you ever do then I promise I'll start listening


Details | Rhyme | |

Forgotten Thoughts

Forgotten thoughts resurface like the dim light of the stars
seeping from the wounds that sit on shelves in broken jars
never to be mended in the tattered threads I've weaved
knotted in the fabric of the falsehoods I believed
to bind me in the cobalt tide that no one vessel keeps
what seems are dreams for some of you are nightmares while I sleep.

Proudly they parade in gaudy colors crimson laced
radiating fiercly from the fears I haven't faced
crashing as the seas of sorrow wash the taste of pain
out of my mouth as I turn south where nothing left remains
but scattered, dusty memories and used up yesterdays
and scars that last from days gone past in hues of blacks and greys.


Details | Free verse | |

Have My World

I set fire to the caskets of your ever-burning shame
Crossing lines that were smothered in yesterday’s rain

Holding onto words that scorch my spirits 
My happiness to you living hell
Pulling me apart, smothering me
Telling me you love me but not showing me

You are like the first Twin Tower that fell,
Shattered and torn by foreign enemies
And I am soon the next to fall…
By the remnants of your grimace-laced tantrums
Shackled by your negativity 

It is a wonder one can sleep at night 
Feeling the dampness of self-pity you wallow in
Comparing and despairing… always comparing
I thought I knew you like a favorite subject
I thought I could be myself
But everything that is me is shredding you to tears
And I sigh, ached by your fears
Burying my talents so that you may stand tall
So that you can shine in the glimmers 
Of my poignant fall of sobs and shivers

…

I lose everything in the wasteland of your dots
Quiet descention weighing the worries
Keeping them down and in a flurry
Crawling around me, feeding the decay 
To never hear the voice behind those words
I love you… I LOVE YOU…
I scarcely know you

Kiss my shards that have once been whole
Cradle industrial waste because I can no longer taste
The tears you shed that are too fast for me to wipe
Burying me against the sharp rocks tonight
And you run away…you always run
That is all we ever do, you see

I am a happy person,
A content as ever being inspired by the galaxies surrounding me
Exhaling the laughter of my comrades
But there… in some dark distance…
I hear the high-pitched frequency of your tidal waves of envy

You can have my world…
You can have my fame…
I am heading to space,
Where I may find solace alone
And for once taste
Freedom from your stark embrace
Wanting me for yourself to fill in your space

Have you ever stopped to wonder why I am still around? 
I care for you beyond light and sound
But ever  for that—you hated, jeered and spat
Crumbled as you play the victim
Becoming an enemy I can only learn to love

So I hand this world to you
Where both of us have fallen
You can have my world—my words
But you cannot have me….. 

-June 2, 2014-


Details | I do not know? | |

Eyes of Fire and Heart of Stone

I see pain in their eyes.
I hear sorrow in their cries.
Inside I break and cry alone,
with my eyes of fire and heart of stone.

No matter how much pain I feel
I am sure that I will always deal
the way I know..alone
with my eyes of fire and heart of stone.

Others may not know the fear.
They know just what they see or hear.
I come off cruel and cold.
Inside I'm not...I'm just not bold.

I have to thank my mother
for the love she's never shown
The one thing that she did give me...
her eyes of fire and heart of stone.


Details | Couplet | |

Another Day.....

Why is everyone so surprised,
To learn of the pain I have disguised?

They say that they had not a clue.
They always say"Who knew?"

They had not a single notion,
All the tears shed could fill an ocean.

They all want me to put my heart on my sleeve.
Why so again everyone can just leave?

They say my soul I should bare,
Yet they as well never share.

I am just going to be by myself.
My heart will be placed upon a shelf.

I am hurting way too much
No longer want to feel or touch.

I have made my many mistakes.
This is my life, that is the breaks.

I have many sins and many regrets,
Never shall I allow myself to forget.

All my pain and all my endless sorrow 
Shall raise its head again on the morrow.

It is mine and mine alone.
I should not grumble or even moan.

One day the sun will surely shine,
And I will no  longer whine.

Til then I will just silently scream
And pray this is nothing but a dream.


Details | I do not know? | |

Naming Bandages

My lies have taken everything I loved
My mind is fuelled by the pain I trust
My fingers turn everything into dust
My heart avenges loss through use of lust

Anger will tell me that the world’s to blame
Fear will forget it took my mind away
Desire will tell me that it’s pointless
But the liar will realise it’s another day

My eyes see everything in red and white
My friends all look like my favourite night
My words are tuning all within my sight
What’s left now is everything I try to fight

Despair comes and tells me it’s a tragedy
Denial turns away the sight of me
But pain stares and know that it’s all pointless
This is just the way it has to be


Details | Classicism | |

Mistakes

Oh what a mistake I have made,
Traveled so far to end up this way.
  Not in a million years would I have guessed,
That this idea was truly not one of my best.
  Never had  known things had changed so much,
We for sure had fallen so far out of touch.
  So many different do's , don't , and bewares,
Actually has left me absolutely  scared.
  What a fool I was to ever believe,
That she would ever be in love with me.
  At my age you would think I know better,
You can trust this will be remembered forever.
  Oh what a terrible mistake I have made,
Wanting all these memories to just fade away.
Tac


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

SO blind

   All this time I have always had my doubts,
Not the person led to believe is what I found out.
   To be deceived and lied to for oh so long,
Down deep I knew there was something wrong.
   Head over heels I had fallen in love ,
Always thought you were sent from above.
   How the knife is twisted into my side ,
So much pain I can do nothing but cry.
   These memories of what I thought was real,
I'm confused and I don't how how to feel.
    Is this really possible that I did not know,
Through all this time it never showed.
    Such an evil thing to do to a man ,
Especially the lies which he could not stand.
    How cruel and cold your heart must be ,
To carry on as you did never letting me see.
     Hard to accept all those moments  so dear ,
Realizing they are now my greatest fears .
     What was to be Joy and Happiness,
Replaced by the feelings of a loneliness.
   Never did I imagine this happening to me ,
Thinking that you and I were meant to be .
   It's a very hard thing for a man to accept ,
When he finds out that he's been tricked.
    Was it the money or the control you had ,
Maybe because you are really just that bad.
    Some day soon for this you will have to pay ,
For the sins against me and your evil ways.
    Goodbye to you  who ever you are ,
For in this heart you have left brutally scarred.
Tac.


Details | Alliteration | |

Bullying

Bullying

Berty Beaver, he was quiet
He never said too much
Yet Molly, Berty’s little wife
She mouthed off just a touch
She’d always threw her weight around
And poor old Tiny Tim
 He got a slap most every day
And times his days felt grim

Molly, well she was his mum
And though she loved him so
She always had to nag someone
And give them a cuff or blow
Tim became a poor young man
And shrunk from every one
And as the bully’s hung around
More evil did get done

His mum she says ‘now that’s not on
They don’t do this to my son!’
And she goes running to the school
Oh, she’s an angry one
She glares the teacher up and down
And lets her know who’s boss
Teachers try hard to placate her
Though, they only suffer loss.

Then Tiny Tim, comes running in
And says right to his mum
[Frustration snatching fear away
No more his mouth hangs numb]
‘Look Mum, at what you always do!!!’
He says with voice stern
‘If you’re a bully too, then how
Will us kids ever learn.

28 June 2013 @ 1727hrs.


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 1)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 2 to complete the poem and leave your comments on the Part 2 submission. Thank 
you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain diminished 


Me, Myself, and I...


“There are things that concern us,”
		Consensed my “Selves” in earnest
““We” fear that “I” have succumbed to delusion”

“And after careful deliberation
		It is with much hesitation
That we choose to delineate upon this confusion”


“Fact is your intuition
		Is riddled with superstition
And your judgment leaves much to be desired”

“So you leave us no recourse
		Don’t push us to use force”
It is then that the “I” was summarily fired


I exclaimed “By whose authority?” Response, “Rule of majority”
“The “Myself” and the “Me,” (forthwith the “We”), are experts in our field”

“And with much technique and time
		And some forays into the sublime
The nature of your malady will be revealed”


“So to keep yourself from having a fit
		Step back and just calm down a bit”
“We,” they said, “certainly have this under control”

“We swear this won’t hurt at all”
		Then I felt my inhibitions fall
Still I said a prayer to God that He keep my soul


You know, fact is I do feel off axis
		As evidenced by such parapraxis
As this prose that I, (or is it “Us”), seek to pen

And with my mind feeling numb
		I finally chose to succumb
And allow the “Me” and the “Myself” to begin


And then came questions in a flurry
		Answer, answer and please do hurry
Not one moment of respite did they give

They pushed and they prodded
		With every “T” crossed and “I” dotted
My mind felt like it had gone through a sieve


And all this psycho-analysis
		Is causing my mind paralysis
The questions, can you stop with the questions please

“Yes, oh yes indeed
		I do believe we have what we need
To make an attempt to identify your unknown neuroses”


Details | Free verse | |

Generic Minds

generic minds listen to generic music
have generic thoughts that are unknowingly abusive
watch generic things talk about generic things
gee this generic *****is spreading like a disease
better get your flu shot 
thats what they said to me
a suicidal vaccine 
a subliminal killing spree
its contagious and the outrageous
thing about it is that the people are blind in an eye
that they didn't even know they had
it's sickening to watch these clueless civilians 
inside the looking glass
with nightmares of being free
without a key to their mind
for it is trapped in the frequency
in the illusion of time
bathed in our universe
killing all that refuse to see
those that admit to hypocracy
or see the message in hip hop
how cant you see
the message in the lyrics that
bring adolescents to their knees
from bullet wounds conflicting their flesh
contradicting that they're the best
but the songs keep telling them that they dont need no rest
that they dont wanna go home
that they should ride alone
with the gat as their only companion
and so the only path they choose is the one that they're told
until they grow old and hope turns to a window pane
inside a window pane, until all they feel is pain
they realize that the music itself is ashamed
so whats to look up to
when you cant even speak when you cant even walk because you look so bleak
your eyes are sunken from the tv you're infested with the dee zees
now its too late to turn around and live for your conscious
so when youre screaming oh please
close your eyes and bring your mind to life
open your eyes for the first time
and never wonder why
since the answer this entire time
has been inside
and you better find it before you die
you dont want your soul to be in a pool with all the others
a buncha brothers missing their mothers
but only seeing strangers
only feeling the haters
wishing they would have used their minds when they had them
and now its too late,
now it's time for another new born fate to grab them


Details | Free verse | |

The Color Missing

The Color Missing
Red, black, and blue are the colors of our work pens. Red is the color of the blood we spill on other people’s mistakes.  Blue is the color of the songs we sing on tax forms or pay stubs- every page has a secret melody. Black is the color of the streets we fear most. Black is the color of our signature of approval. Black is the color of our death.

‘But what about the Green pens?’ I ask. They say ‘the ink is too hard to see.’


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 2)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 1 first so as to get the true gist of the poem and leave your comments here on the 
Part 2 submission. Thank you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain 
diminished.


Me, Myself, and I... (continued)


“Your, (Or “Our”), symptoms seem to intermit
		And the fact that “You’re,” (“We’re”), a hypocrite
Tis no wonder we’re having such problems with diagnosis”

Then “I” had an idea so grand
		To dispense with this at my own hand
A self-inflicted coup de grace would be my prognosis


So while the “Me” and the “Myself” squabbled
		With courage newly cobbled
“I” spotted the dresser drawer and made my run

With fingers fiercely fumbling
		Whilst they continued grumbling
“I” produced from the depths of the drawer a shiny gun


And now my life, though ill-fated
		Was soon to be vindicated
This would affect us all equally the same

Would be no myself or me
		No you, him, us, or we
But an inclusive all would be to blame


It took me a moment to figure
		Out the safety on the trigger
Then “I,” (or “Us”), prepared to do the dirty deed

Then the barrel found my temple
		And as it settled into the dimple
A still small voice did my “selves” choose to heed


Hence a moment of clarity 
		Harkened me to posterity
And I thought what a legacy to leave behind

“Can’t we all find a way
		To save this miserable day
And avoid a broken body for someone to find”


And then deep within my soul
		I felt and heard a simple drum roll
And the differing sides of me just subsided

And with my mind now as one
		I worked to get this all undone
The whole business of this stuff I derided


And tis now true of fact
		That I survived this ordeal intact
And lived to raise my face unto the sky
 
And here now as it ends
		I find I’ve made good friends
With the “Me”, the “Myself,” and the “I”


Thank you for taking the time to share in my poetry. Please feel free to leave your thoughts 
or comments here on this page. 

J. Scott Burns...


Details | Personification | |

This Day

This is a day that I could have really done without,
Saying you love me and do this to me hurts no doubt.
   Day  after day I pray that you will please stop,
What pain you've caused me has taken all I've got .
   I love you and adore you but it seems not to matter,
Still you continue to hurt me leaving my heart shattered.
   You come to me with words I have only  dreamed ,
But what they were meant for was to hurt me it seems .
    Never  have I seen a woman with so much hate ,
Taking revenge on me by disrespecting me till it hurts.
    True I have  waivered with my troubles with trust,
The one thing thats important and this is a must.
     There are no more words or sayings that will ever work,
I have tried everything  I know giving it all that its worth .     
     To the day I die I will never understand why ,
The woman I love does everything to make me cry .
     So this my dream to be forever with you ,
Is only nightmares for me  and dying is all I can do.
     This a day I surely could do without.
TAC


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Acrostic | |

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!


Details | Free verse | |

One More Day

Another new day has begun
and I've been given one more day
to feel the pain I always feel
from knowing that I don't belong
and that I should have never been

Another chance to mourn my dreams
as I watch them laid to rest
and wait for death to come and trade
this earthly hell for one that's earned
with the sins that are my own

Yet one more day that I may cry
though countless tears I've cried before
again examining the faults
that I regretfully possess
within this useless bag of flesh

Another day for me to swim
in the pool of my self hate
though I've been hated all my life
no one could ever hate me more
than I already hate myself

I've gained more time so I can think
about that which is wrong with me
and everything thing I cannot change
for I have tried and always fail
to change what is just meant to be

Then again it's one more day
that brings me closer to the end
of my pain and worthlessness
when I'll no longer have to face
the darkness that consumes my mind


Inspired by Sami Al-Khaliti's  The Cynical Heart contest


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

A Dark Fairy-tale

A Dark Fairytale

As I was chained, I breathe in.
As I was burned, I breathe out.
As I was cut, I looked down.
As I was broken, I looked up.
As I was destroyed, I closed away.
I had killed myself damaging beyond any repair.
To keep myself closed I chain, cut, burned, and destroyed what was within me, isolation my fear around me. But suddenly as I had nearly been kindled to a shivering light, something braver and stronger then I appeared and took me and held me and once again I was fixed and this is what happened; 
Suddenly I breathed in as I was unchained.
Suddenly I breathed out as my burns disappeared.
Suddenly I looked up as my broken body mended.
Suddenly I looked down as my cuts faded.
Suddenly I was opened up and my destruction was nothing more then a dream
As my knight, you entered that shadow and held me now I grow with a unprofaned radiance.
I was held once more, and my soul emerged.
I was spoken to once more, and my mind went blank.
I was kissed and my body reacted without a second hesitation.
And before I could run away once more, I was trapped.
Unlike my prison I lived in a fairytale, in were I don’t want to live this place anytime soon. What happened then and what happening now are so fair apart it hilarious.
 I’ve forgiven the past, not forgotten it. Prove never to make the same mistakes or else be locked back inside that tower I call my mind. 
Let me in brave knight, into your mysterious ways.
Let me in brave knight let me have secret passages into that world of yours. 
Let me in brave knight so I can truly capture you. 
I was as cold as ice even more then winters hail, but you with a ridged past that icier then I could have imagined is as warm as the summer sun and sweet like spring air.
For saving me, for taking my heart, for releasing me, I’ll become everything you want and then more, I’ll stand by your side and hold you like you held me and I shall be everything you need.
My sweet Knight.







Details | Light Poetry | |

Self Portrait

Twisted
Grotesque
Fate and pain embracing 
Going for a stroll inside my head
My mind lurks in the darkness of insanity
My veins are rivers, flooding my deliberations
On my knees I confess as I thrust the knife yet deeper
Overflowing red raindrops falling
My eyes sunken
Screams .... va-te'n va-te'n tite ange
My heart rendered useless
Glass shatters all around
As the walls close in
I long for the swamp
Hidden away from humanity
I carry a heavy burden wrapped in chains
As I look into myself
I strangle him
Falling upon tainted soil
I lie twisted


Notes: va-te'n va-te'n tite ange is Cajun French, meaning " go away, go away little angel"


Details | Verse | |

Home of the Slaves

Land of the free
Home of the slaves
The blood, sweat and tears of my ancestors resonate
Amongst the soil where they were slain
I’m hearing their struggle
I’m feeling their pain
I can’t imagine being forced to part from my family
All for massa’s gain
So I pay homage to those who promoted change

People like every slave who tried to escape
Nat Turner, Ms Carlotta, Harriet Tubman
And the safe houses who were in accord
And peg leg Joe with his song
Follow the drinking gourd.

People like, the disregarded - those thrown overboard
And who was dismissed and defamed
The ones who were stripped of their soul, their pride, their names

The list could go on  
The full will never be told
So I pay homage to others who were bold
Like John Brown, The Freedom Riders, Sojourner Truth
Ida B Wells, Phyllis Wheatley, Maya Angelou, 
Langston Hughes and Charles Drew

George Washington Carver, Ruby Bridges
Booker T Washington and Mary McCleod Bethune
Charles Houston, Ralph Bunche, Fredrick Douglass
WEB Dubois, Paul Robeson, Ralph Abernathy
Benjamin Banneker, Marcus Garvey and Crispus Attucks
Who’s death by the way
Symbolized the American lie
You cant declare the rights of all men
While the people of African decent rights get denied
But still we rise

Thanks to Dr Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, 
The Black Panthers, the Buffalo Soldiers and Tuskegee Airmen
None who were showed any love
Yeah it’s an uphill battle, 
But obviously greatness can be done.

We can rise above this stigma 
That blacks are lazy and daunting
That our worth is null and void 
And in essence minus nothing
And of all the names mentioned 
And the greatness of their successes
No one has been able to erase the evil transgressions of a racist mind
And once you have experienced just a taste of it
It changes your perception of time
The oppression beats like the drum on the chariot
Of when it was finally time to escape to freedom
It's mine


Details | Acrostic | |

Your Eyes

 (Dedicated to Folake)

Your eyes, woman
are like twilight rainbow
amorously bearing aloft passions of mine
toward androcytic ecstacy.
They tell of endless lights.

Night skies clarion the warmth of you
keep me balled-up till
i am tilted to your adorned essence.

May I call up words to adore you,
agglomerate them into a panoply of worshippers
unsandalled before you
like Moses at the burning bush.
 
And now you seem to fall asleep
but you tell me it's the heavy night
bidding toward a sunny dawn
wherein our love is lighted.

Slowly I let you fall asleep
impatient with the long night
waiting to gaze once more
into the eyes of my lovely love.

Then a lip is placed on yours
and you rouse up wide-eyed
smiling at my romantic move.
We enjoyed the night, cruising on.


Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | Haiku | |

Strong Tears

Because tears are meant
To be a symbol of strength
Even in hard days.


Details | Limerick | |

Off Of His Game

Stoneheart Mickey McKade was his fit fighting name.
Bare Knuckle Boxing was his beloved chosen game.
Then Muley Will Dutton broke Stoneheart’s jutting jaw.
To the surprise of all present, Mickey started to bawl.
Now Slackjaw Mickey McKade is in the sport’s Hall Of Shame.


Details | Bio | |

I Am Poetry

I stand solo, aloof in the snow, a precipitation 
                     of words cascading from a nebulous eye 
Fathoms wide, forever dripping like wax onto 
                     a punctured paper serving a Sanskrit sky,

and spreading into sibilant sentences swiftly 
                     sliding from syllable sorcery to soulful serenades 
so silent in the shunting shout of white. Poetry 
                     fills a churning void where novels cannot wade,

Phrases solidifying into idolisation of emotion 
                     itself, isolation of the isometric individuality that so 
Crushes my keeling cavern of thought, ever 
                     careering from caustic career path to another new low,

Which so seems to crumble into crazy paving’s 
                    counterpart. In this first freeze-frame we can all grasp
A fraction of the familiar, oh so fractured by the 
                    fumbling nature of enforced form. Freed by the gasp 

Of a photo-opportunity glowing phosphorescent 
                    with firsts, I am no longer framed by the festering 
Constraints of non-fiction, and folding my fond 
                    farewells carefully, I hesitantly face a vision pestering 

Me, fearing the fiend that would open maw and 
                    gnaw beneath my feet, evoking an avalanche of the 
Vernacular, but I am further past this unfed 
                    existence now, loosened from the fickle friendship of a

Winter thaw. Focus not your gaze on the grinding 
                    gauze of the greats, for the pressing pestilence of 
Perishable poetry is elsewhere pondering its parallels 
                    in posturing and post-modern pining for forlorn love. 


Praise no other; I am poetry.


Details | Rhyme | |

Perspective

Should the broken heart persist
in it's courageous pursuit
Of love when the pain insists
That the broken heart remain mute?

Will my heart become dissolute?

Should the flame of love abate
More each time we love in vain,
Should we then our hearts berate
For causing us such awful pain?

Will I ever know love again?

I always ask myself this
When I chance to love anew,
Before I choose to resist
I first ask, What would the dead do?

Should my heart die, or live anew?

If the dead could rise again
Perchance to love one more time,
Would they fear Love's bitter pain
Or, would they think the pain sublime?

I've always chosen love each time!


                            Timothy I. Brumley


Details | Free verse | |

Giving In To The Gray

Overwhelmed with fear I whispered into the rain
Disarming defenses, Giving in to the gray 
Tearing down all of my shelter within my hollowed decay
While this echoing silence gave every tear drop a name
They begin filling the voids with mundane hopes for a change
Heaven will save me from this hell and blue skies will reign
Lazily lay in green grass watching clouds drift away
It's all but a deflated dream now that the colors have changed
My thoughts have become restless noise of uncertainties rearranged
Damning all of my emotions, lies decorated with grace
Now I stand with a hardened heart in the sobering autumn rain 
I'm disarmed and defenseless, Giving in to the gray


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?


Details | Sestina | |

Witches Pull Switches

A light bulb screwed in, then turn on switch witch.
We all can learn from experience.
But you can also experience what you learn.
Time and again learning something the wrong way has caused disaster.
Wiring an engine the wrong way will keep it from running.
Just as loving the wrong person can cause heartbreak.

The night you saw her with another man was heartbreak.
You wanted to yell at her and call her a witch.
Then after all the hassle you were tired from running.
You felt like you had learned from this experience.
Another relationship, another disaster.
Going through all of this, what did you learn?

Thinking on all relationships, what could you learn?
For one thing, try not to ever experience heartbreak.
If you do then there could be disaster.
And could bring lots of pain from some lovely witch.
And believe me, this you don't want to experience.
You will just find more witches and keep on running.

When you leave a witch keep on running.
And never slow down son, this lesson learn.
Because between the two of you, she has more experience.
And can cause you much more pain and heartbreak.
After all, she has the powers of a lovely witch.
And if she uses them, beware of disaster.

Remember multiples can be disaster.
They will keep you tired and running.
Especially when there's more than one witch.
And oh how she wants to use you, so learn!
This can leave you lonely and with heartbreak.
Only she can benefit from this experience.

So, let me tell you about my experience.
In my life, more than once, there was total disaster.
There was pain, sorrow, and yes, heartbreak.
Women kept me on the ball and running.
Do you think that I heeded advise and would learn?
Absolutely not! What fun is that when you play with a witch?

Experience may keep you from running.
Disaster could help you to learn.
HEARTBREAK IS DEFINITELY...having more than one lovely witch!!!!!


Details | Epic | |

PASSIONS

PASSIONS 


On the deck of his life’s boat 
In a state of confusion
Was he sitting
Gazing at the horizon of
The unknown 

Dark clouds of doubt were hovering
In his puzzled mind
His thoughts in disarray were venturing in a labyrinth 
Of faint speculations

The dilemma was his, knowing not were to go
The roads of virtue and that of vice before him
They stood: 
Equally appealing
              Equally accessible
                              Equally demanding!

He tried to pierce the veil of life’s mystery
With his wondrous, enquiring eyes but
Every effort a sound failure:
                           The riddle persists
                                    The obscurity endures
                                                   The enigma remains.

Impatience enters now his troubled psyche and
Horrid panic becomes his constant companion.

Suddenly, his choleric aimless and violent passions
Snatched the rudder of his life’s boat in their needy: 
  For control 
           Hungry for rule and
                      Thirsty for power 
Arrogant, reckless hands and 
In their eagerness to rule over his
Disorientated mind, enslaved 
Reason: The illuminated helmsman 
Hand-cuffed love: The tender-hearted captain and
Tortured understanding: The knowledgeable pilot and
Threw overboard benign compassion and
Holly mercy.

Shortly after, the humane crew of lofty virtues,
Subjugated to the newly established tyranny was:
Ruthlessly deprived from its power   
Violently derailed from its course and
Brutally twisted in its meaning, 
To fit passions’ newly adapted schemes,
Of infamy
Of turmoil
Of inconsideration and 
Of shameful vice. 

Then, as the sails of vanity and of blind temptations
Opened wide and
The craven wind of uncontrollable urges rushed to 
Swell them with corrupt impetuous desires,
His shaky boat unguided drifted to the open rough sea
Of self-destructive indulgence,
Through the hurricane of obscure ignorance,
Towards the perilous sterile rocks of despicable lust
Where it crashed and sank to the abyss of filthy appetites,
In the graveyard of lawless souls at which 
Murky desperation eternally reigns!
 
Ah, if only he had chosen the path of virtue!

© Demetrios Trifiatis
   18 January 2013  


Details | Alliteration | |

Political Downfall

political position penetrates purity
anger and aggression accommodate mirroring
of awful austerity allocated each time 
we fall victim helpless to our weak mind
the peoples pressure piles upward
racing towards restoration as the dusk burns
aggravating what was once blue and serene
live this fight in life view the feud in a dream
function funding fatalities the newest regime
are sly scoundrels salivating so few in between
that save a soul sacrificing personal gain
pedantic petty priorities just turn into pain


Details | I do not know? | |

Darkness

when you're fast asleep
and thoughts creep into your head
and flood your brain until it weeps
and your mind descends dark and deep
into a land of dead end worlds
where the only way out
is the way you came in
but the road is way too steep
and your feet are made of lead
and every smile is just pretend
and nothing is to be believed
and you're going off the deep end
bleeding rivers of hatred
into a pool of shallow deceit
where every thought is colored red
and every shade of black completes
every nightmare ever conceived
born of blood-stained dreams within dreams
where that person you used to be
is falling into skies of silent screams
and contemplating death
all the while wishing
to be alive again


Details | Ballade | |

You've got to love your life

You’ve got to love your life.

I’m drifting through my life
As I climb those rocky trails
The only place I want to be is now
The Spring comes, me just sitting here
As the grass grows by itself
I never did want too much, anyhow.

Can’t worry about your burdens
One has to travel on
The past can’t do no damage, it be gone
And the future, well there’s no one knows
No matter what they do
You cannot stop those hands from moving on.

You’ve got to love your life
That’s the only way to go
There ain’t no going back to what’s been done
Cause life was made for loving
The song you sing is yours
You’re a one off soul, you be the only one.

You have to live your story
No matter where it goes
No matter what the hard knocks you might gain
The road might lead to nowhere
Yet dance it anyhow
When life stand still, then it be lived in vain.


Details | Lyric | |

Stepping Stone Soldiers

Our frozen bones,
have drifted far from home,
most of our days,
were paved with stepping stones,
set in our ways,
we left it all long ago,
buried alive,
under those stepping stones.

We can’t go back,
no matter how much pain,
there’s no escape,
just days and nights of rain,
long distance calls,
unanswered telephones,
the hidden cost of
lives built with stepping stones.

You can't take it back, but don’t be afraid,
we’ll build something good with your broken remains.
Stepping stone soldiers, lay down your bones,
we’ll scatter what’s left in those fields that you made.
Stepping stone soldiers, cold and alone,
soon you'll be buried in a stepping stone grave.


Details | Personification | |

Birth of a Poet

The animals know better than us. The rain has never poured so loudly in a key so soft.
To the front, the sailing of city buses and mini vans cruising across in this weather makes the water underneath their tires sound like the street is crying out for 5 more minutes of sleep. Up above, the trees are protecting a nest of baby blue jays before they get washed away by the silence of their mother not being there. But with sky blue young spirits, and small empty stomachs, they keep hope alive in the fact that even children know storms and struggles don’t last forever.
Below the trees, nature has found a name to call it’s own. From the hole dug by the little boy next door, a family of three foxes have named human nature sanctuary, and burrowed their problems into the sediment to rest for a while.
To the side of the hole, a flock of ducks are swimming in the water with eyes open wide enough to where you can see their loyalty to love one another rushes wild.
To the right of the pond, caged up in a man made blanket, and lost in his own mind, is the boy. From what he remembers, last night was like a train accident; A head on collision of two people he could’ve sworn he saw holding hands just the other day. He hears the sound of plates shattering in C-minor, and the chorus of words that his parents screamed in F-sharp, so he imprisoned himself in his own bed sheets, accompanied by the courageous corduroy bear who he swears keeps hearing whisper “everything will be okay.”
It’s raining outside, and the crescendos of screams have been silenced by it’s peaceful security.
The boy, sleeps soundly now. The rain has protected his ears, and guarded his heart from being washed away by all of his nightmares.
He doesn’t care whether he wakes up. The baby blue jay, the resourceful fox and the brave little duck are all he wants to keep dreaming about.
Maybe he’ll run away into the rain? Or maybe into the arms if his mother?, whom he prays he can still recognize. To the left of his bed, he picked up the blank page of his coloring book and a crayon, and became a life long poet in that moment that morning. Taking a deep breath in, and giving a soft breath out, his first sentence was
“The animals know better than us.”


Details | I do not know? | |

'Give me drink, rest, and solitude'

Give me drink, rest, and solitude--
these are all the things I long for.
Give me as well your finest food
and I'll ask of you, lass, no more!

My bonnie lass, what's the matter--
why are you all sorry and alone?
Don't be sad because you're fatter
than most, lass, for love loves its own.

Sweet lass, I'll tell you a secret.
If I were a young lad again,
I'd pursue you without regret!
But as I am three-score and ten

years old, indeed, I can never
be the youthful lad you most need.
But your pain won't be for ever:
for your heart will refuse to bleed.




Details | Free verse | |

Porn No More

I've watched the war from behind closed doors;
Eyes too glued to close.
And now knowing what's in store, there's porn no more.
God's love is the only hope we know.
We are forgiven because of the love that is Jesus.
We are saved because of the love that is Jesus.
We give our lives to the Father for we are His children and He loves us.
We are loved!
No matter what we've done, we are loved!
Confess and ask for forgiveness;
This is such a beautiful gift!
Thank You God!
Thank You Jesus!
You forgive me!
You save me!
You change me!
I am changed!
I am new!
I am renewed!
I am forgiven!
I am saved!
I am changed!
There's porn no more
For God's hope is in store!
There's porn no more
For God's love is the hope of the world!


Details | Rhyme | |

Living Without

I tried to write about love but I haven’t felt it. 
I tried to write about the sea but I’ve never seen it. 
Then I tried to write about the air, but I have never breathed it. 
I tried to write about magic but I never believed it.
I couldn’t write about god, all I have ever done is sinned.
And when I tried to write about life I found, 
I have never really lived.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Risk of Choice

It would be too easy to not believe
And not have faith in all He wants us to see.
But I don't want to risk my life being saved
Because of a choice I was refusing to make.


Details | Free verse | |

Happy Cloud, Smoke Clouded Guy Vs Voice of Truth

My Friend Tom Logic was The Smoke-Clouded Guy and i was The Voice of Truth :D 


Smoke-Clouded Guy Says: 
Nicotine to make me high.. Emotions that can fly.. Pain about to die.. 
Voice of truth says:
A free-way pass to a venom which gives you a lack in living? Tell me why?
Smoke-Clouded Guy Says: 
Tell you why? When from childhood life waved goodbye.. I had this numbing pain in my vein.. Living for vain
I had to
Smoke trouble away
Voice of truth says:
And risk Living? Risk a body that was gifted& pure, risk health? That others would die for? 
Smoke-Clouded Guy Says: 
Why favor my life? Why live on the edge of the knife? Is happiness just another sad cloud? Can't u hear my screams that are loud?
If wounds wont mend.. Now with nicotine I will blend
Till they heal and lose the sense to feel
Voice of truth says:
To deny a blessing is nobler then? To deprive your health will numb the pain of this so-called Happy Cloud? Then this so-called Delight is just a fraud to make you feel better, to steal away the minutes while you would've got years
A lack of beauty you will gain, a reek of bad odor it will cause, your teeth no longer the blazing white? Why take instead of care? To your own shell? 
Smoke-Clouded Guy Says: 
I feel my soul is down low
The sun.. Is your truth you state?
Voice of truth says:
A Message to God you have sent, "my Soul you grant, i will play" 
Smoke-Clouded Guy Says: 
Now, after you.. I have smoking to hate
And.. I wish.. A better fate
Words crumble and blush by your power
Your words are the drug that is.. Truth
Voice of truth says:
Turn back you say? It is never late? For God has his arms open wide for another Fate 
And you know what I say? It’s your own good that we display?
Smoke-Clouded Guy Says:
I for one.. Turn my face, to what's bright.. This cloud circulating me.. Will fade away
Voice of truth says:
Welcome to this beautiful place, a ticket of health you will once regain :D 
Smoke-Clouded Guy Says: 
And it's you I thank... To my page.. I begin blank
Voice of truth says:
My regards, my awaits to all of your mistakes ;)


Details | Free verse | |

Where The Next Dollar Will Come From

I'm worried where the next dollar will come from.
Will she ever arrive?
Will she ever show up?
But why am I worrying?
Stop it!
It's all in God's Great Hands!
It's all under God's control!
It's all within His plans!
It's all His
And He will provide
Because He is our Father!
He loves us!
It's all His!
Trust Him!
I know it's difficult;
He will not lead you wrong.
He knows where you need to go.
He knows what you need to endure.
It's all His plan.
It's all in His Hands!
Lay down your life;
Give the control.
He is in control!
Thank You Father!
Trust Him!
It will all be okay!
Trust Him!
Thank You God!
Thank You Jesus!
Thank You Holy Spirit!
I love You always!
I trust You always!
I trust You!
I trust You!
Yes, yes I do!
I trust You!
I love You!
Amen!


Details | Verse | |

Philosophical Poetry Week: Transient Tuesday

I am a misprint,
Ink blot on love,
I remain a maybe
Longing for fact,
No speck of lint,
A hand in glove.
Thunder; a baby
Will only react

When you etch
Parallel clouds,
Whistling on cue
To a dead town.
Dream a sketch
Of silent crowds
Becoming you,
This boiling crown

Chews thought
Into flagellation.
Holes in the walls
To spy through,
Seeking a sort
Of bricked-up sun.
A heaven of halls,
All leaving you.


Details | Rhyme | |

A LOST MEMORY

You became my best friend, someone I would never ignore.
I know I was selfish, but I wanted more.
She became the one I wanted, and the one I got.
She definitely became the one who showed me love,
And taught me the past should be forgot.
To me she is a memory,
I do sometimes wonder if she remembers’ me.
Constantly she said you loved me I knew she lied,
I could see the fear in her eyes.
I’m letting the pain out,
With out any doubts.
I have to hurry up and let it go,
Before this pain consumes me and I lose control.
When she is around I have to wait a while,
See she doesn’t know but I have to force a smile.
I’ve moved on, so did you.
It’s scary to know you love me too.
Sure I could find someone else so I did not always feel so alone.
But they could never be you I would never feel like I am home.


This poem is for those people who can’t move on…..


Details | Rhyme | |

Someone Felt Like Giving Up

Someone Felt Like Giving Up! I know someone who wanted to give up. Things in life began to “trip him up.” After much thought and contemplation. He really offered no real explanation. He felt like his life was at a “dead end road.” He said he couldn’t continue with a heavy load. No matter how many different things he tried. He was not happy… Nor satisfied! He began to share a piece of his mind… He was ready to leave everything behind. The choices that he had sometime ago… Began to “wear” at his heart and soul! I tried to encourage him the best I could. But I’m not sure he really understood. As I watched him go his separate way… I said; “there’s something I wanted to say.” “There’s a God who reigns in haven above!” “He wants to fill you with his hope and love!” “He knows and cares about everything you’ll do!” “He’s loving and kind!” “And wants to help YOU!” As I spoke, I could see he thought for a minute. A commitment to God… He decided to give it! He decided to give it all to a God who won’t fail him! He wanted to serve a God, who wants to bless him! He’s happy now that this choice was taken! With Jesus… He’s never alone nor forsaken! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Tomorrow is Ours



Tomorrow is Ours.


Suffocating beneath the weight of historical fear,
asphyxiated by the legacy of traumatised yesteryear,

the festering wounds of enslavement still remain,
juggling euphemisms in a crisp sound-bitten refrain,

spewing out neo-liberal economic charades,
doling out charity in strips of plastic band-aids,

but,

tomorrow shall be ours,

casting away subservient mind-sets that shackle,
no longer the weakened prey of the insatiable jackal,

tomorrow shall be ours,

we shall reclaim our plundered mindspaces,
we shall shed our chains, leaving behind the traces,

of past injustice, of the hurt and pain of our ancestors' sorrows,

we are here, now, alive with hope,


we shall rightfully claim our own tomorrows.





Details | Free verse | |

Letter in the compound future

One day you won't hear me singing  at the very 
hour, place and perfect time where  the world turns
dead nature.

Make some holes to the bucket full of
feelings I gave you while I was stealing the 
lymph of life.

My silence kicks the pulsing waiting 
spirit but gray is a no land color born
by an incest 

You had me but couldn't see , you saw me and couldn't have
sad as the  fate of pain that roams through the
human memory.

It will be cold, my Life, more sour 
the pain of the leaving silhouette 
until...

A kitten snores on the soft couch telling
the cats' history because you'll still breathe
anyway...

I'd find a happy ending for you, if only
I didn't know you had it through your fingers
already...


Details | Personification | |

Down the Mountain

Trying to come down a mountain you've already conquered is the true test, and it's a hard one. 
Like pouring cheap sanitizer 
over your bloody hands.
The 99.99 that it may kill will not eliminate the painful little hundreth percent of pain that still stands.
But it is necessary.
I can see parts of my past like jagged rocks I've already placed my feet upon once. They remind me of all the times I slipped up cut myself with such failure I never thought I'd move on from. I slide down the mountain's side, hoping that if I fall forward I will be caught by a cloud filled with the heaviness of my old pride. Reminiscing on a cumulus crime trying to piece together where I made the mistake in believing being selfish would ever put me on cloud nine.
It can no longer hold me
like flimsy caution tape failing to hold an overwhelming riot at bay
and down I go with the rain precipitating all my pain away.

At 6'4, my height is pretty easy to see
my mind is pretty difficult to read
And my beliefs are even harder to understand. 
At times I feel having the word 'susceptible' tattooed across my chest would be fitting for me
just so I could be understood by my fellow man.
I heard that 90% of human interaction is nonverbal so 
if I could, without a word I would speak volumes upon volumes of my autobiography and just live the rest of my life shirtless
So that even to the passing stranger, my life story they could comprehend.
Vulnerability at it's finest. 
I learn from experience.

After a long fall, I land close to rock bottom.
The temptation to give up always seems to make camp in front of the exit of freedom. 
I can see two male rams clashing their brains together while making a thunderous noise; the most accurate depiction of brainstorming I've ever witnessed, and an easy way to see that staying stuck at the bottom is a choice. 
There is always something new to learn. 
Something to struggle with up and down the mountain.
What we must learn is to not be ashamed of our struggles, and to instead show how we are victorious through the renewed life we live.


Details | Sonnet | |

To A Child Who Has A Disorder

Children with an illness,
Go through life,
They are looked down apon,
Because they are different,
When really they are not,
They are no different from  you and me,
They have the same blood,
Running through their bodies,
Just as their hearts as well,
So, don't just look apon,
Their outer appearance,
And judge them,
For who they really are,
For a lot of them,
Are smarter and brighter,
Than you and I,
Could possibly be,
On our brightest day,
For they have the gifts,
From God up above,
So, always take the time,
To get to know their inner beauty,
For who they really are,
Cause they too need love,
Just as everyone else does,
If not even more.


Details | Blank verse | |

Losing Sight

Why was I given these eyes that hide 
Behind this clumsy heart-
Hands and knees forever searching 
For an honest soul?
It feels as though we're wringing water
From a dusty rag.
It feels as though we're submerged in longing 
Ever drowning in our thirst.

Why was I given these eyes that grope
For another’s warmth,
When love is fired through a gun,
Or taken from a calloused hand;
Sight has cursed my heart to see
The naked spent to dust.

Blindness,
Kiss me with your tasteless lips and I will see no more.
I will not see their tears through mine,
I will not see their laughter;
I will not see their careless words,
Looking dumbly after.
I will not see their hateful glares that only’ve seen hateful eyes.
I will not see their broken ears that never hear my broken cries;
They’ll all be black to me.

Jacob Reinhardt							09/11/2013


Details | Rhyme | |

Bukowski

Was it said before? Sure.
Was it said this way? I doubt it.
Perspective is in no way obscure,
And his works are nothing without it.

His motivation’s observed in daily life,
Misery, not just some vague inspiration.
He begs for reason, some way to lessen strife;
His words reflect a resounding desperation.

There seems a need at times to clarify, 
But that’s allowed in his terms only;
So many thoughts seem somewhat ‘rarefied’,
Fed his fire, but made him lonely.

No ‘underachiever’, not just another fool,
But still seeking solace by the glass;
Tempering his stagger and his drool 
With just a bit of ‘kiss my ass.’ 

But, usually, genius ‘sots’ come to ground,
Lucid moments - on the square;
Their driving ‘bolts’ of genius, word or sound,
Only written because they dare.

Yes, you can feel the written “heart”,
But few of us can realize that sort of pain;
No isolated misery… of many lives a part,
Each begs an answer... “Who’ll stop the rain?”

Yes, he’s lived it, seen it, and told it well;
But Timing is the Master of one’s Fate.
Is the timing right?  Funny…only time will tell…
Will you will be a whining sot or dare to be great?

One success can be lucky, we’ve seen that before.
One book, one song, then quietly fade away.
But six novels later, we should know the score;
He must have had something to say.

So, at the perfect time, someone heard.
Someone who was “someone” took someone under wing.
And to those with interest and empathy, they sold his words;
Saying they “are genius” and with “ugly truth” they ring.

But did he create any redeeming changes or impacts?
Yes, what singular influence did all his artful whining bring?
None... just a relentless, repetitive diatribe of sad facts.
Oh, yes…..and a little “ching ching”.

Entered in the "Idiot or Genius" contest 27 March 2014

not so genius

 


Details | Sonnet | |

A Bubble Blown Up With Breath

I will tell of love in fourteen short lines
Remember when you chipped bone in kneecap
So much pain for you and me nothing fine
Knee pain for you for me nausea trap

You had surgery, nausea had me
One baby in arms another womb bound
When you came home, total care you no glee
Beside chamber nausea vomit round

Daily existence for weeks ugly trap 
Baby, husband's care between nausea
Holding baby my only relief gap
Situation had me deep undersea

Love is deep when one gives beyond their strength
Giving beyond the call of duty is youngth


Details | Free verse | |

Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!


Details | Rhyme | |

My Brother Needed Prayer

My brother came to me, desperate for prayer! Filled with hopelessness and despair! I reached out to him to begin to pray… But I couldn’t find any words to say! The Holy Spirit began tugging at my heart within… Convicting me of holding on to a “secret sin.” THIS SIN, God told me I must first let go, For this was eating at my soul! My prayer life had been such a mess! I repented! And to God… I confessed! I called out to Jesus’ precious name! Inviting him into my heart to reign! On bended knees before my Lord I began to bow, My prayer was going to be answered… Somehow! The prayer request for my brother Was going to be met! For God has never failed me YET! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

The Light

They praise me like a saint,
But I am a sinner;
They don't know the man they see.
I am an addict.
Broken eyes to pornography,
Only Jesus can set me free.
Only by His death on the cross
And the grace of His Father's love
Am I able to be set free.
With God as The Light,
The One and Only Light,
The Only Hope in sight,
Will I be set free.
I am free.


Details | Rhyme | |

Love Binds, Selfishness Confines

Alone in my world of solitude, admitting this feeling of mine
my desire to let go and cry, is nothing short of benign
nothing I think to do can elevate, sensing my emptiness to blame
my pain and anguish intimidates, bringing with it this shame

These words I hope to relate, might bring me a respite and chance to feel
maybe I just need assistance, finding a successful way to heal
regardless of the reason, for me truth must still hold true
I can't take this pain much longer, or I don't know just what I'll do

Extending my hand to you my friend, advice is what I really seek
finding an answer to my dilemma, this situation is very bleak
help me to confront that internal pain, in you I dare place my trust
refusing to believe or to give in to despair, I know this I must

My unseen tears, like a falling feather the wind shall carry away
how much did I hope my heart of flesh, would somehow turn into clay
you see my friend how to contend, with a heart weighing me down
trying to solve this anguish I have, in sadness causing me to drown

All my life this world to me, only black and white will I ever be able to see 
there is truth and there is untruth, in my eyes that's how it could ever be
this world of gray is not worth much, another way for the selfish to gain
manipulating the truth to benefit themselves, while causing others our pain

living in our world full of desires, with temptations how to tow that straight line
confronted with selfishness and personal gain, thoughts causing my heart to pine
rising to the occasion and choosing wisely, more than this you just cannot do 
but if the alternative is to compete with the selfish, run to avoid them like the flu 

Comforted I am with these words I learned, quoted in the name of someone great
Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler was his name, and in his wisdom did I truly find my fate
"you can give without loving, but you can't love without giving", is what he would sometimes 
relate
so if this path of selfishness is what you choose to follow, your true love will never await


Details | Free verse | |

Judge and Jury

Should I disregard
what other people think or,
balanced on the brink, maintain
a thin-veneered façade?
Where shall I store,
how shall I keep,
the poetry I must write
but cannot show--
that which smolders deep
and threatens to erupt?
Must I lock it all
securely in a box,
store it high upon a shelf
where none are wont to go?
Would it be likely to corrupt
the innocently unaware?
Should I, at least,
pretend to care?
Might not I plunge into the mob,
joining others of this ilk...
should it be my job
to preach, now the day
has finally been reached --
to walk alone in open air,
free from fear of full disclosure?
Would my revelations stir
those who taunt, who hate?
Might not their spate of hurtful words,
and worse, prompt my avoidance of 
the fate they threaten,
encourage my reluctance to unmask?
And may I be moved, instead,
in surly tones, to ask
who made them my judge and jury?


Details | Ballad | |

Coming out of the shadows

When I was a young man
I spent nigh on a year
In an ugly, war torn country
That drove me close to tears
They sent me home before my time
For my health was down a tad
And my nerves were shot to pieces
Like I was going mad.

They said I had the symptoms of
That post traumatic stress
And so they put me on a pension
Oh I was in a mess!
Anger, stress, anxiety
And paranoid as well
Oh, I was in the darkest place
An awful place to dwell.

I tried so many things, did I
To try to cure this thing
Gurus, shrinks, and self help books
But none of this did bring
The sanity that I did need
I just got worse and worse
As I drove all my love ones out
Oh, I was so damned terse.

Then one day I found this pair
Whilst searching through the net
They taught me how to look at me
How lucky can one get?
The looking made my life so sweet
I’m now completely sane
Each day’s so pure and wonderful
I’m through with all the pain.

15 July 2013 @ 1340hrs.




Details | Rhyme | |

The Shadow of You

I walk the empty rooms at night
Searching for a ray of light.
A shadow in the dark
A scarring scorch mark.

Shadow, shadow on the wall
So many sorrows I recall.
The barbed wire of pain
Reclaims me all over again.

Ravenously the shadow feeds on sorrow
Slowly dimming the light of tomorrow.
In the dark I hear you call
Why did you let me fall?

Grinning shadows all around
Darkness my soul surround.
I try so hard to let you know
I did not want for you to go!

Shadows that dull the senses
Strip the soul of all pretences.
My nakedness I cannot hide
Chasm of death so very wide.

In the still of the night I cry
Shadow, shadow tell me why
Tell me how
Tell me now!

But shadows can only grin
As they twist the pain within.
They consume the pain and grow
Till all the world becomes, a shadow.

At the breaking of the day
The shadow will fade away.
Waiting in the background
For night to come around.

Once again I'll walk the dark
Knowing shadow's scorch mark.
All I seem to know is this
Forever you are my nemesis.


Details | Rhyme | |

Jesus, I Pray For My Brothers


Jesus, I Pray for My Brothers! Years ago, I suggested to my brothers that we pray. They simply laughed at what I had to say! I thought it would be good to get together... That God's love would bind our hearts forever! Division took place and took the "upper hand." I don't think they'd listen or even understand! Over the many years that just went on by... They never once took the time to say; "hi!" Even though they never once seemed to care. I decided to take some time in deep prayer! It was like they would make fun of what I said. At times, maybe they wished I were "dead." At this time, there's a strong and powerful force That's blowing their lives are way off course! I pray that God's spirit will get a hold of them! And let them now how much he loves them! I pray that God's love will be the glue that binds them! May God's mercy and joy be what finds them! I pray that evil will not find it's way in their home! And they would allow Jesus to rule on their "throne." Even though they tried to cast me off, as a "fool." It's God's words, in their lives, that must rule! Jesus can turn around even the worst situation! By the power of his glory and resurrection! Please, dear lord, bind them forever as won! Bless their home! Their daughters and sons! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Unwelcome

i've come to realize that changes
however unwelcome
happen for a reason, 
and those changes 
happen to change who we are
and in turn i have come to realize 
that we are the master of our own depression
that no matter who hurts us
no matter the pain that haunts us
however unwelcome this pain may be
i have the power to undo the hurt
and smile.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Bipolar Realization

If I skip sleep or refuse to take my
med's against my doctor's warning, I hear
radio voices at night in my ear;
the voices unhinge me as no one's nearby 
when I'm bipolar as I fail to comply
with doctors' orders. It's common, I fear--
I am committed two or three times a year.
It puts my whole life on total standby!
Life with my disorder is difficult;
but it also makes life a real challenge,
a test to surmount--a thing to exult
in when I face it and no longer cringe
from my disease as some evil result
of fate that grimly has me on the fringe.




Details | I do not know? | |

The Petty Posh-WahZee - Liberation and Ostentation



The Petty Posh-Wahzee - Liberation & Ostentation


The Not-So Distant Past:

The fallen fighters for freedom, are unable to turn in their graves,
their battered, fragmented bones, mixed with a handful of torn rags,
are all that remain, a mute reminder of their selfless valiant sacrifice.

They endured brutal Apartheid harassment, detentions without trial,
torture in the cells, and mental anguish when loved ones disappeared,
they left their homeland, to continue the struggle against racial bigotry,
while countless others fought the scourge of white-minority rule at home.

Nelson Mandela and many, many others, spent their lives imprisoned,
on islands of stone, and on islands of the cruellest torture, yet they stood,
never bowing, never scraping, they stood, firm for ideals for which they were prepared to die,

and many, many comrades did die, at the hands of the callous oppressor,
and many, many comrades perished in distant lands, torn from their homes,
while the struggle continued, for decades, soaked in blood, in tears, in pain.


The Present:

19 years have passed, since freedom was secured at the highest of prices,
delivering unto us, this present, a gift of emancipation from servitude,

a freedom to walk this land, head held high, no longer second-class citizens,
in the land of our ancestors, whose voices we hear and need to heed today.

I do not care much for fashion, Lewis-Fit-On and Sleeves unSt.-Moron,
yet the ostentation that I witness baffles even my unsophisticated palate,

our ancestors' plaintive whispers are being dismissed, left unheeded, as
we browse the aisles for more and more, always for more and yet more.

Asphyxiated by the excess of the Petty Posh-Wahzee, we find ourselves,
perched precariously on the edge, of a dissolution of all that is humane,

babies go hungry, wives are battered, our elders left in hospitals for hours,
I cringe as I scribble these words, perhaps too sanctimonious and preachy,

yet I know, deep in the marrow of my brittle bones, I know, I know, I know,
this tree of freedom planted by the nameless daughters and sons of Africa,

needs to be shielded, nurtured, protected from our very own baser impulses,
so that the precious tree of freedom, may bear the fruit that may feed us all,

for if not, then we are doomed, to tip over, and into the yawning abyss, we shall fall.








Details | Ballad | |

Her Face

Her Face was perfection, Still see it everywhere
The beauty in her eyes, Please forgive my stare
Though to confess my love, 
Oh no, I wouldn't dare...
So I'll just keep thinking of her, But it's just not fair

Her Face won't go away, So engrained in my mind
This girl was different, Unlike any other I'll ever find
Oh how the two of us, 
How our lives could've aligned...
So now, to everyone else, My heart is blind

But she'll never know,
Just what I would've done to be with her!
That I'd gladly travel through time and space
Just to appreciate her beauty,
And wake next to Her Face

Her Face comforts me, Holds me tight and dear
Takes me to another world, A new frontier
I'm dreaming where she loves me so much, 
That part is clear...
But as I awake, Just shed another tear

Her Face and her love, I won't ever forget
Lust for her will remain, Lips will get wet
I'll be reminded of her, 
At each days sunset...
And I'll remember everything, From the first day we met

But she'll never know,
Just what I would've done to be with her!
That I'd gladly travel through time and space
Just to appreciate her beauty,
And wake next to Her Face

Her Face is the sunshine, A universal light
With it's soul and it's passion, It was quite a sight
Oh how just to see her, 
Brought me such delight...
But here I am all alone now, Another late night

Her Face will surely lift someone up, With unconditional love
So what will come of me, Can I rise above?
Without Her Face, 
I'm unsure thereof...
Because see, out of my mind, to her, I'll never shove

And she'll never know,
Just what I would've done to be with her!
That I'd gladly travel through time and space
Just to appreciate her beauty,
And wake next to Her Face

Her Face, I see it every night, In my dreams
Where everything will all align, Oh how it seems
We're walking together... 
Hands together, Along the forests blue streams

Her Face ignited feelings, Things I've never before felt
Just got to play the hand, The cruel hand I was dealt
I will always have my writing, 
To continue to dwell...
On a lost love to whom one day, I would've knelt


Details | Free verse | |

These Walls I Built

Stuck in the prison of my own life,
I dodge behind these walls I built.
And inside is a demon covered in guilt
And shame so thick you can't see his eyes.
God, please help me to see
No matter what, You will always love and be with me.
Thank You Father for everything.
In Jesus' Name,
We pray.
Amen.


Details | Ballade | |

Tribute to two wonderful people

My tribute to two wonderful guys

I know I’ve said it all before
But I must tell you again
About a man called John Sherman
Maybe I write in vain
But I must tell the world about
The two guys in my life
Who I’ll put on a pedestal
John and his lovely wife

He don’t come from religion
Nor any beliefs at all
He’s more like a Psychologist
His approach is wonderful
To don’t claim to be a Guru
He’s just a humble man
Yet he will do most anything
To help you if he can.

Once I suffered oh, so much
With anxiety and fear
I hated me, the whole damned world
My head was never clear
My wife was set to leave me
My kids thought me so low
All because of a foolish war
So lonely I did grow.

Then John he showed me just one act
And said ‘That’s it, that’s all!’
And I just listened to the man
Though I am not a fool
And now It’s four years later
And my heart is filled with bliss
There’s nothing could destroy it
That’s just the way it is.

No more the fear of life is here
No more the fear of death
No more that awful greyness
No more I feel bereft
Every day to me right now
Is another brand new day
As life becomes more beautiful
In every kind of way.



I know I talk about john a lot, don't want to bore anyone, but what I gained from him was absolutely phenomenal, and my main reason for joining poetry groups was so people might know of him...Peter


Details | Rhyme | |

Cure Mine of The Dark

You’ll write a beautiful melody,
If it’s truly from the heart.
So first I’ll find the remedy,
To cure mine of the dark.
But holy light and blind eyes,
Are keeping me apart,
From the answers, to the questions,
that are making things so hard.

Find me a sin,
You think that I wouldn’t commit.
And use it to begin,
To make me laugh again. 
Find me a loose end,
I don’t know how to tie.
Sometimes I wish for the truth,
But all I get are lies. 

I don’t need the good life,
I just want a sliver.
You say always go for gold but I,
I’m fine with a lining that’s silver.
I can live with a just a hand to hold,
But who could love a sinner?
Maybe I can hide inside the dark,
So turn the lights down dimmer. 

I said find me a sin,
You think that I wouldn’t commit.
And use it to begin,
To make me laugh again. 
Find me a loose end,
I don’t know how to tie.
Sometimes I wish for the truth,
But all I get are lies. 


Details | Free verse | |

marking time....to my friends on poetry soup.- the Lord helped me fight death and won.

i don't want to be just marking

time.  i died on november 20,

2008, during surgery.  i was

on a vent when i awakened 

december 2, 2008....my sisters'

birthday. what made me llive

i'll never know.  i know there

are things to do on this side

of death.



i have no time for marking time.

i have a stupid bag hanging from

my side now.  i am supposed to

"get comfortable with it".  well

that was a laugh.

that was a laugh until i thought

of the people that had these

things with no hope of ever

getting away from them.



i am so lucky.  14 days i laid

on a vent, then 22 more.

i came home 3 days, 



then 


i had
great pain in my chest...
.
well this is great i said,

a pulmonary emboli, 15 more

days, three days home.



then back to e.r. blood pressure

too high.  this bought me 

4 more days in e.r.



i am home now and finally 

have spent 19 days home.

i feel every pain and i feel

every time that i feel good



yes, i am never marking

time again.....there is

something about fighting

for your life and your sanity

that straightens things out.



i don't recommend it but

i wish i could let your hearts

know what i know.

janetta


Details | Rhyme | |

We Have A SIN Condition

We Have A Sin Condition! We have more technology, but we have a problem! We have many “issues.” And don’t know how to solve them! Governments answer seems to be “spend, spend, spend.” But we have this condition, that God calls; SIN! Just look at the problems that are all around you! It’s amazing that they don’t “overwhelm you!” There’s all sorts of evil all cross our land! But there’s something very few understand! We’ve sent men to the moon and outer space! Yet very few reach out and receive God’s grace! The Bible says, “the heart of the man is sinful.” Without God, man’s heart is never “peaceful!” Jesus love provides for the world that fails us! He offers his love! Simply because he loves us! There’s no “condition.” His love is freely given! Won’t you accept him? And be totally forgiven? Where there’s sin. God’s grace does much more abound! There’s a new life for you! Just waiting to be found! Our sins for his love! What more could one ask? And enjoy a love and peace that will ALWAYS LAST! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Narrative | |

Chance

Chance

By BJ Welsh

With life and living we take our chance
Nodding in agreement to a furtive glance
Waking up each day is a chance we take
That life will deliver us for Heaven’s sake
We awake each sunrise with a hope reborn
Chance seeing an other suffer and torn

It’s one other’s life you see at a glance
Hoping for approval, it’s but a chance
The life you witness as others pass
The pain inside may subside, alas
Hoping to see one as you
The chance you take to find two

Running out of time the clock is ticking
Chance there are others whose lives aren’t clicking
Great as that may be, the chance you’re all alone rises
Furtive glances from beneath disguises
Chance that hiding the pain and hurt won’t last
The agony you feel will not be fast

Chance you soon become discovered
In your waking hours its’ uncovered
You’ve lived a life of hurt and pain
 The chance you’ve taken may have been in vain 




Details | Ballade | |

Vets story

Vietnam Vets Story

Have you heard the story
Of those bold courageous men
Who served their country tall and proud
As they fought in Vietnam.
They done their country proud and all
And showed how soldiers fought
But now their lives aren’t worth a damns 
Their nerves all tense and taut.

They sprayed their poisons on trees
Endangered all these men
And fed them drugs not tested yet
They didn’t care back then!
They wanted just to win a war
A war pointless and mad
And many now do suffer so
Their lives all sour and sad.

And now these men just live their lives
All down with no self value
{Their bodies torn their minds all twisted
Marriages broken too!}
They have to fight with all their might
To get fair compensation!!!!
What price to risk one’s soul and life
In defence of one‘s good nation.


Details | I do not know? | |

Where Wild Violets Grow

Where Wild Violets Grow

Scribbling these verses,
caressing your bare back,
simple rhymes,
flowing from my fingertips.


Scribbling verses,
sprinkling odes to fragrant promises,
your smile lightens the burdens,
off my heavy heart.


Scribbling verses,
soaked in countless kisses,
the moonlight waltzing on your skin.


Scribbling verses,
feeling you,
your love never ceases to flow,


through the streams of my mind,
to a place of our own,
where wild violets grow



Details | Rhyme | |

THE TRANSITION (More of my truths and thoughts0

we were all born into sin but as time progressed
I became guilty of so many sins of the flesh
I guess the pain I possed needed an outlet
but would only get expressed when I became upset

raw pain and emotion led to savage rage
I behaved so far from the way I was raised
became accustomed to street life so most days
was in a drunk stupor or occasional weed haze

stickups,re-ups summer games that we played
street beefs,club fights sometimes the guns blazed
never thought I'd loose my little cousin in that way
should have read the signs , I could feel them that day

can't run from the pain so I had to face it
knew I needed a change but I wouldn't embrace it
All praises to God  I rebuke you Satan
I'm ready to stand in front of the world a changed man

but old habits are hard to break
sometimes the ghost in your past are hard to shake
they'll peck at your flesh until it starts to ache
if you can relate then you know the toll it takes


Details | Free verse | |

Flat Canvas

Flat canvas;

Bubbling brown ridges strike 
The confining dimensions in a hostile yawn: 
Upwards, Outwards.

Walk the world no longer, an ending beckons, 
A precipice builds moments where swallows wager wings 
On new seed: New breeds.
Falling buys the assurance of seconds
From a sinking well. 
Oh well.

Remember us when the globe begins to slip,
Bang drums for our pity:
Our crescendos mean less than meaningless.
And then, when spheres crack, continue 
On the whorl of a thumb, 
Stretching hope to nothing.
Run.


Details | Rhyme | |

Where do dreams go when they die

Where do dreams go if they die?
You can't put em in your pocket
You can't plant em in the sky.
And if you hide em in your heart
Then with you they'll surely die.
Where do dreams go, can they die?
When life just happens
You've fallen again and now running blind.
An unwilling combatant a greying specter 
An emotional conscientious objector.
A Phoenix rising
Icarus hoping to fly
Once you dreamed so big
You almost kissed the sky.
Now all that seems like a faded picture
Faith sabotaged by doubt 
A deadly elixir.
Where do dreams go when they die?
Were they actually there
Or merely a lie?
Did you dream in color or only black and white?
Were you alive when you believed?
Did you just hang on to the seed?
Or by faith let it go
Out of your control
Yet willing to still believe 
That faith will let it grow.
Where did your dream go?
Is it alive 
Or like a mirage in a desert
Playing a trick on your eyes?
Will you surrender to the camouflage of life?
Much like darkness tries to hide the night.
A peace treaty with deception
Void of light.
Where do dreams go when they die?


Details | Quatrain | |

Decisions

Lord, I do not know what to do;
Please, lead me by Your side.
Decisions I'm facing are lost and through;
Please, lead me to do what's right.


Details | Rhyme | |

Jesus Paid the Sacrifice

Jesus Paid The Sacrifice! Jesus sacrificed his life for you and me! So we can be with him for all eternity! His life for ours… a ransom was paid IN FULL, This is why I I love HIM so! Upon his head were placed the crown of thorns, Enduring so much shame and scorn. The blood from his body as it began to flow! The pain inside his body, Began to grow! The nails placed in his feet and hands, The pain he went through is hard to understand. His life for ours, is what he gave! His life for ours… Is what he did trade! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

When We Both Can See Eternity

If we could only comprehend 
The miracle of this hour;
Awareness of existence 
Is beyond poetic power.  
As something we tend to overlook
In our daily routine woes;
Lost in pain and suffering 
Forgetting what we know.
Deep within and out again,
Intangibly unbound;
The fact that we’re even here at all
Is incomprehensibly profound.
No less than flower stems
Than stars that swirl and dance;
No less than a baby’s smile
Or true love and romance.
And sorrow, pain and tears like rain
That never stop their fall;
Therein too lie miracles
Perhaps there, most of all.
From out of ashes, rises Phoenix,
Out of fire comes the gold;
Life is more than meets the eye
Or what we can behold.
But I for one and you for two 
May meet where souls collide;
And when we both can see eternity 
This moment will have died.    

       


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | Lyric | |

In The Event of A Car Crash(Given Another Chance at Life)

One red dirt road surely to lead us home.
Until we hit that patch of gravel.
It sent our vehicle spinning three hundred and sixy degrees around.
My God!
We hit the bar ditch and went flying. 
My hands pressed against the dashboard.
My heart beat pounding faster.
Everything in bittersweet slow motion.
Until we crashed upside down like waves in the ocean.
My breaths began to shorten. 
My chest cavity aches.
I'm trying to find a way out in all the chaos. 
The windshield breaks and i slowly unstrap my seat belt.
I begin crawling on my knees.
Glass carving cuts into my hands.
I say Dear God please! 
Help me. 
My heart beating a million miles per second. 
I find my way in the darkness to the grass and the sand.
I lie flat on my back and tears fall from these eyes. 
Adrenaline has failed me, pain begins to take it's course.
Is this really happening? 
I roll over and stand on my knees.
The pain erupts through my body, and I look towards the stars. 
Cuts across my flesh that will surely leave scars. 
Thank you God.
For allowing me to live through this, it could have been such a tragedy. 
I'm alive, and this will be just another part of a chapter that makes up history.


Details | Ballade | |

Guilt and hurt

Guilt and hurt

I’ve heard folk speak of hurting
And I’ve had my share of this
I’ve had my share of loving
I’ve had my share of bliss
But me, I know for sure, my friends
That the grossest of all things
{The mother of the monster clan}
That life can to you bring….

Is guilt, I say without a doubt
It’s the deepest kind of pain
Hurt gets nicely tucked away
But you can try in vain
To remove the guilt that you’ve accrued
It’s like a red hot knife
Just when you think it’s gone away
It’s there to give you strife.

I have suffered deep, deep hurt
That’s suffocated me
But guilt just like a mountain
That over towers the trees
He over towers all life’s pain
And reaches to the sky
No matter how you charge at him
That beast will never die.

25 July 2013 @ 1207hrs.


Details | Free verse | |

Look Around You

Look around you
The world is already at an end
When the Mayans said that the world was going to end
They didn't mean a world destroyed by flare, quake, or salvation
But rather a world full of broken relation
That possibly, it wasn't a literal interpretation
But a figurative analysis of this falling nation
Are we not all the same people, the same human
But we'd rather live a life divided
A life divided by the color of our skin  
What is war but greed to keep the amount of money left for our kin
Life is no longer cherished
The earth used for our own experiments until its resources perished
Genocide, assassinations, and murder supported for a "better cause"
Who are we to judge the abominations of others when there is flaw in our own laws
We continue to redefine what is socially accepted
Making a gateway for divorce, abortion, and legal prostitution
Rather than fixing what has been so psychologically rooted into the minds of this generation
We look to cover up past mistakes with a newly corrupted translation  
Girls look for sex because of a lack of love from their fathers
Society tells boys to make use of this advantage 
Treat girls as objects rather than human beings with emotions
And we later ask ourselves
How did these boys and girls ever become such bad parents
Our government shouts democracy
But isn't that really just a cover up to keep us appeased
It's most convenient when the majority stays quiet 
Because only those in power can say that this earth's a heaven
To the majority, this earth is already a hell
The human race is so arrogant
Believing that they are the most superior in this world
That they can live without the mercy of God who should be in control
Look around you
The world is already at an end


Details | Free verse | |

Scars of an Inner Child

You are not the man, you want to be
You said you were my Father, till, I discovered different
Enduring, daily beatings
Bashing the living day lights, out of a woman and a child
Repetitive, bad ass attitude, nasty streak
Mean and aggressive!
Fists, knives and guns, your weapons of chose
Out of control, abusive, devious
Relentless, over – bearing!
Breaking me, piece by piece
Confusing a child, with unhealthy love
Hand fed your bullshit, brain washed
Using me as your human, punching bag
This innocent child’s blood, staining your callas hands
My child’s curiosity, asking you one day
“Why do you hurt me and Mum?”
Your retort: “I am not your blood!”
I didn't understand, back then
Now, as an adult, I clearly understand!
Believe me, when I say
There was never a day that went past
That you didn't remind me of that!
My freedom, restrained
My sanity, tested
Caged, like a wild bird in captivity
Behind bars, looking out
 Here, I am today, free from your grip
Nursing, this inner child’s, bleeding love


Details | Free verse | |

My cobain smile

I want to drown my urge to die
I want to kill my pulse inside
I can't breathe, I'm paranoid
Everything in life I avoid

Don't speak to me, I'll look away
Inside my eyes is just decay
 I'm already dead, but have yet to die
Why do I keep my body alive

My soul is dead, eyes are lies
So is the smile I hide behind
Pull the plug, I'm a fake
In a nightmare and I cannot wake

Drown me! I'm flooded in pain
Please help me regain
Some peace, some rest 
I want to die to live again

Set me free 
Slitting my wrists isn't working
The more stares I get
The more I become numb
I just need to be gone
Eliminate my pain, 
I'm already out of breath 
Suffocating on my hopelessness

Every day I am alive 
But I'm craving to die inside
Curved smile because your so naive
You think I'm happy 
Yet I'm being crushed
My head is overflowing 
With these thoughts that are too much

One word, suicide
Sparks a light inside of my eyes

I don't want to pretend to live
Let me go, flood me in sin
There is where I want to swim
Six feet under the ground

Don't be selfish 
And keep me in pain
To tourture my lifeless body again
Let my body float soundly
Rushing water, ocean salt
I promise I won't feel it at all.

End it, hold me under 
Then bury me so I can slumber
Goodbye lifeless eyes
As I'm dying I'll be coming alive
Haunting images 
Deleted from my mind
Laughing 
As I leave this world behind

Water 
Floods my lungs 
Death 
Leans in for a kiss

Together we sink into insanity
And drown in infinitys abyss. 


Details | Lyric | |

Thoughts That Think

Was thinking long and hard about giving up writing.
Convinced myself that I'm a quitter and there's no sense in fighting
To keep the only thing that kept me far from the edge
But I can't pretend.
Pretend that it isn't my Fortress of Solitude 
That's honoured me with solemn servitude.
That it hasn't helped put me to rest, thought and mind,
By accepting the past on paper and keeping it close behind. 

I was thinking logically and analytically 
Because it seems to be the only thing I'm good at. 
Thinking about everything I've seen and everyone I've fought to keep,
They're all gone now, only to be found in memories. 
They say Poets and Artists are the architects of Heaven
And only they know it's the hardest when no one buys what they're selling. 
No one wants to listen and no one wants to see 
Because everyone's so sure of what you're supposed to be. 

But what are you supposed to do when you've dedicated your life to understanding?
When you can empathize with your brother, but your own sight you can't stand it. 
When you feel that there's a missing piece and so the wholes hurting.
Swim out long past the reef and any safety that you keep to do some soul searching.
Days and months fighting fears, love and tears, digging the hard soil.
Only to find that missing piece you desperately seek is hidden deep beneath. 
When you've found the straw that broke the Camels back
Only to find there's a million more underneath.

What are you supposed to do when you follow the chains
Long past the plains in hopes to break the link.
Kill the ties that bind and have held you for so long,
Only to find there is no ball, you were free all along.
And in your days of darkness with no life to sip or sup
All the hands around your back were never meant to keep you up
And all of those who have kept you down will fight to keep you dancing to their beat.
Any impenetrable man once stabbed in the heart, will crumble with defeat.


Details | Couplet | |

Grief

It attacked my life like a swarm of predatory wasps
Anger, regret, pain, confusion, to ruin me at all costs
unprovoked, vicious stings to my soul, many a tear
made me hollow inside, without joy, living in fear

Unable to run or hide for their venom is already within
To snipe at my belief, questions to drive reflection of sin
Should I seek reasons, or find solace needed in a friend
My friends helped win battles, and the war inside did end


Details | Quatrain | |

Wounding Words

words that pierce like a sharpened edge
the pen has no regret
old pain incessant we must dredge
if not forgive, forget?

but the power of a simple verse
overlooked by the creator
has made the past in present worse
and lesser pain now greater


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Love Endures

Love floats by,


reaching,
tantalising,
meandering,


tip-toeing past pain,


leaping through walls,
weakening the barricades,


of the most private heart.



Love settles in,


trusting,
searching,
dissolving,


quietly beyond anguish,


erasing the desolation,
soothing a battered spirit,
enveloping the shivering soul.



Love stays, it is true,


love endures, as do you






Details | Rhyme | |

failed and creativity mourned

Throttled pain and it’s come again,Why it strikes me , I care to know, All the doors kept ajar and my joys are drained,the peace is gone and the pain seems to grow. The druid churns the magic potion,But men and women to take along, More gains are his only notion,& not his goal and he’s so wrong. Power blinds his wretched mind,Dying creative powers they soak to grounds , Oh! His deeds put all to the grind,Of the hallways, whose gonna turn it around. People cry their minds a whisper,Passion dies yet another death each day, All time idly spent in repent, things not achieved all kept at bay. Winds of change come sweeping across the globe,A new brotherhood of people he plans to build , The soothsayer swings his wand & depths he probe,Trusts he those who’s desires are unfulfilled. My plea to them is to let go of ego and come together,Together all must be to tackle the dark forces that surround, As forces across the globe are down in the slump in all weather,It’s creativity that will bring back from depths,to astound To build the cult the soothsayer has begun,Err if it has been, now there is no way on land but to move ahead, The dominos must align as now nobody must be the favorite son,Cause the ships in troubled waters have already fled………….


Details | Free verse | |

Braid Hairs

Why are you so devilishly addicting?
I come back from you,
It looks like I'm on drugs:
High and drunk,
Out of my mind.
The demons inside us braid hairs
Until we're peaceful meadows apart,
Nuclear wars together.


Details | I do not know? | |

You and I



You and I.


You.

Your heart blazed,
with a warmth of spirit,

soothing,

alluring,

soaked in truth.



Your smile burned,
branding me permanently,

gentle,

tender,

enveloping my being.



Your love was complete,
from the depths of your soul,

unsaid,

yet fierce,

bathed in silent knowing.



Your dreams were poetic,
fluttering in the afternoon breeze,
infused with the distilled essence of rhyme.


I.

I squandered your generosity of spirit.

I vainly discarded your priceless poems.


Now I stand,

alone,

empty,

desolate,

wasting away,

rotting inside, day by day.




Details | Rhyme | |

The Bourgeois and the Spinning Wheel

In a room filled with a solitary red hue
The bourgeois spins a wheel
With no destination, nor need
She will spin until her brittle Hands bleed
Just to satisfy her ennui and artifice
But she does not see - the rien I see
The monster approaching her empty dreams

Spinning still - she does not know
The insomniac rose will begin to grow
The thorn of clandestine and ebony
Ostracized for he began to realize
What lies in nonsense is decadence
Which sparks interest
Who's lover is a dadaist
But his story is over now
As Seth lead the way
A poet dies in dismay

The thorn as she spun penetrated
A distraction and a lack of action
She knew the temptation for she so loved the sensation
Of crass, rebellious - ways 
The thought laid it's seed
In her Gaulish mind it breeds
She has no other need and no regrets
So she proceeds and the smile lets
With full intention and desire
Caring none of her fate that will transpire 
She presses her finger on the thorn 
So now she bleeds knowingly
she did not recede


Details | Free verse | |

little pale lies


sometimes, i get a wave of sadness over me.

i love you, and i want to be with you,

but

you deserve someone

a little less neurotic

and

a little more normal.

someone who is honest when she whispers, “I’m so happy”

under the covers.

you make me happy.

but you shouldn’t have to change me like that.


Details | Narrative | |

I lost me I lost you (Part 1)

It was so long ago
But my mind doesn’t see it that way
And like a channel that only plays reruns
Images of you keep repeating in my mind over and over again

Over the years I tried to reach out to you
But I learned that you didn’t want to know me
We last spoke on the phone with forgiveness in my voice
But the love I once knew was replaced by bitterness

You said I thought you were going stop trying to contact me
I promised that this would be the last time.
I said I just wanted to wish you the best and give myself peace of mind.
But in your voice it was the seething anger and resentment that I could not deny

I said I was sorry for all the hurt, pain and sorrow and if I could correct it I would.
Why cant you forgive me what did I do that was so wrong.
And that is when I learned about what was truly told to you  
To my surprise a giant lie, your sister said I raped her, now I understand why

She covered up her actions and turned me into a beast
This explains the hatred, the anger, and resentment you have felt for me.
However it doesn’t excuse the lust of my actions and what really happened 
For days, weeks and months your sister groped, kissed and hounded me until I gave in.

Yes I confess to having an affair I tried to be faithful, I tried to be true. I loved you
But your sisters’ sexual lust took control over me she pressed my buttons for her own sexual 
need
And even though I tried I was so guilt stricken I lied and said I didn’t love you anymore. 
Our break up was created by your sisters’ lustful attraction she lied to cover up her jealous 
actions 

But with a burning in your voice you didn’t want to believe and so you poured salt onto me
but the next day your phone call confirmed the truth, your older sister confessed to our 
agony
but she also said that she was in love with me of which I never knew
suddenly you want to stay in touch, I said that would be too much, again you persisted 

Haven’t we endured enough pain to develop a friendship now would be insane, but you again 
insisted
All those years ago the lie you were told now I understand why you hated me so. 
and with a giant sigh I just started to cry and my heart just melted away
Unfortunately you said time has replaced me with someone new for you 

(continued)


Details | Rhyme | |

secret crush

be still my heart just hush
ill get rid of this big bad crush
if only you knew how much i care
the kind of love i have for you is rare
you dont even know my hearts on fire
and that your the one that i desire
i dream of kissing your lips
but when i wake away you slip
be still my heart just hush
ill get rid of thei big bad crush
i wish i could tell you how i feel 
then your touch i wouldnt have to steal
you would be mine
with our hearts and body intertwined
i wouldnt have to dream
and i could be with you always
i wouldnt have to scheme
this secret is hard to keep
into my heart its etched deep


Details | Free verse | |

needles and pins


I can’t survive without the rush of an impulsive swallow or an impersonal touch.

I’m fueled by the adrenaline I get solely through sex and drugs, driving while high and chasing danger.

Piercing my skin with needles and pins,

willing to feel the worst to feel anything


Details | Free verse | |

Sinning is the Only Path to Martyrdom

It’s an antichristian theory and method
The way I give myself this plague	
Sickening solitary sustenance of my own sins
An urchin warm within my spirit like a fetus in a womb 
It’s Godless; I’m Godless
To glorify a madman
It’s habitual
To let the madman in 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Weeping

And so begins the weeping,
The weeping that comes in waves;
Waves that crash in evening tide
To begin the sorrows fade.
And yet in sorrow I sit,
Melancholy under night;
Night whose air reminds me still
That remembrance is the light.
And who shall be the teller,
The meter for this old song?
Sung in whispers meant for none,
Save for those who may belong.
On air and breeze cries carry,
Yet alone they reach the sea.
And I endure their telling 
As the waves crash over me.

C.L.Baker©2013


Details | Free verse | |

Ignorance meets Insanity

Seriousness settles in, like an old friend
Seriousness spreads like a disease
Infecting us, accelerating, our aging process 
Our youthfulness, our playfulness, slowly slipping away
Our wonder in life, diminishing
Seriousness leading to rigidness, pathway to small mindedness!

Days and years, rolling into one
Colourless, lifeless, mundane, dull and boring
“What day is it?”
“Don’t smile or your face might crack!”
Judgemental, cantankerous!
Pompous attitudes, of modern day man

Stubbornness and ignorance, clinging to what’s familiar
Seriousness, up tightness, humourless, imagination vanished, pathway to madness!
The mind focused on its self created drama’s
Fears constantly being stimulated, from our outside world
Personal insecurities, constantly being triggered, inside
The past lives on, the present forgotten 
What was once important, now, left on the back burner
Hard headed, victim orientated
Righteous, self absorbed
Emptiness, hollowness, helplessness

Seriousness and ignorance, walk hand in hand
Becoming, our best friends
The vampire suckers of vitality
Sucking the life, out of our personal goals and childhood dreams
Lose of faith, gradually, losing our way
Lost, amongst the thick of it
Not knowing any different
Everything becoming an illusion
Seeing things as it should be
In our own little universe, no one else’s!

Entrapment of the mind
Our, personal intelligence, laying dormant
Body and mind, riddled with dis - ease
Heart beating hard, starving for a substance, we call love
Numb, to the outside
Numb, on the inside
Desensitized!
Going crazy!
Consumed with our own self created loneliness and separation
Ignorance meets insanity!


Details | Free verse | |

Love Hurts - The Symptoms

Thoughts displaced by rolling palpitations,
From left to right grow these numbing sensations,
A face which spirals down, drooping from smile to frown.

Time hibernates in this moment protracted,
Legs bow and shake to our drama just acted,
Senses into overdrive, does pain show you’re still alive?

Oxygen masks, Coxes’ rowing commands,
Heart beat machines is what love demands,
“You need time to relax”, prescriptions from Quacks,
Is love just a commonplace heart attack?


Details | Senryu | |

12-21-12

The end of the world — 
I will see you all in hell.
May I rest in peace.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Hurricane sandy

I remember the war in Iraq
Seeing bombs falling from the sky
And parents trying to comfort 
The children who were afraid to die

And I also remember some people
Who had happiness on their face?
As they watch on the news
And enjoy the war that was taking place

And then the long lines for gas
In Iraq that we see on Aljazeera
No one cares because they think
That could never happen in America

But who is in the kitchen 
Will be the ones to feel the heat
And some takes life for granted
That there will always be food to eat

Now I look at hurricane sandy
And the destructions that it has cause
And I’m sure many of those affected
Are those who was happy for the wars

Innocent lives are lost in sandy
And I feel the sorrow in my heart
Some lost everything they have
All I lost is gas for my truck to start

Is this god’s way of saying to all?
Super powers nations of the world
Change your evil ways today
Or more natural disasters will unfold

The people in war torn countries
Their lifes seems to have no meaning
They are being killed for just gathering
Or even if they are having a wedding

I wish i can make it stop now
But my voices are just one
And it hurt me to be so helpless
While all these atrocities go on

So sandy brings pain and emptiness
Like no one believe it could do
To people who think they were immune
From feeling pain and suffering to

Until the day Jesus returns to earth
There will be wars and hurricanes
Tsunamis, typhoons, earth wakes
So till then we humans will keep suffering


Details | I do not know? | |

I Stand, Alone



I stand, alone.

Scratching for my truths,
peeling away the veneer,

I stand, alone, before this
impregnable cliff so sheer.

Cocooned in my solitary shell,
wrenching a smile from a tear,

I stand, alone, a little odd,
and definitely quite queer.

I stand, alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Scars Left Behind

It is hard not to trace back 
All those memories
Which you kept behind you 
While you were dreaming in your trip.
Those long moments when you grieved
Those short moments when you breath’d.
From here I can hear some voices of your trip
From there there were no choices in your grip.
Just listen to those immense fragile noises:
When you kept crying,
Laughing, trying and maybe dying
Perhaps I was you— when you were lying
To your thinghood...!

Womanhood is like Robin Hood—
It is always chased in the wood.
Many trees are cut off without roots,
And shall never give birth to the last roots.

When the sun goes down
I pretend to be sad,
So that my night dreams
Are filled of stars instead.

When the moon goes up
I play the role of the dead—
When the moon goes up
I close my eyes and go to bed 
When the moon goes up
I beat my heart and feel so sad
Is there any way to see the moon smile without dread?


Yasser Rhimi


Details | Rhyme | |

Hold On To You

Why am I so selfish?
Why do I live for the wrong things?
I am dying inside
Because I refuse to see the light.
I need to say yes,
But I still haven't learned that yet.
I am a fool,
And I am hurting you.
If I would let go of myself,
I would hold on to you.


Details | Free verse | |

Refusing To Listen

Everyone telling me where to go:
Turn left,
Turn right.
I don't even know who to listen to anymore;
I don't even know who I am anymore.
God, please speak to me
And tell me where to go
And show me what to do
Because Your voice is drowning out in the madness
Or maybe I am just refusing to listen.


Details | Free verse | |

Take me Away, Alive or Awake Part 1

Take me Away, Alive or Awake
by ~CrimsonSmolder

In the lands of consumption 
On the edge that is so narrow 
Take me away; alive or awake 
Take me away; by force or compulsion 
Oh malicious being you..
Capture me whole and breathing 
Drug me high 
And pain me less
And you shall gain 
What other lacked to impress
In a room so velvet 
Blood is mistaken for carpet 
Curtains turn to shadows
Take me there; Alive or awake
Lay me down on a bed of roses 
In a dress of scarlet and pale light black 
With hair so curly that shines solid lust 
Where candles are lit and halos are exposed
Drug me high 
To pain me less
As I stare in those passionate eyes of black 
Genuine, yet unveiling
As the drug gives me nausea but keeps me awake
I Lay so still, so wordless
As you rid me from my clothes slowly and gently 
And I just stare into those exquisite eyes of yours
Lashes as dark and long
I stare onto that black soft hair 
As it falls perfectly to all sides
That built muscular rigid torso and lean abs 
That open shirt of yours waiting for the skin to expose
You put yours hands to my sides 
Tough yet it feels so soft
As you enter me whole
Introducing feelings of excitement, of tension, of delight 
Yet I still lay motionless and still 
With eyes so indifferent 
And a heart beating so fast 
And yet you pause, and produce a dagger
Hidden in thee black silk 
Its poison, peering silver, visible at the hilt
I notice, but no reaction follows
You pierce me lightly in the neck and breast 
Slipping it lightly, yet in some places deeper into the skin
You lower your aim and strike it slowly yet smotherly to my stomach
A bit of blood escapes my mouth; you wipe it tentatively with your hand
You aim lower, cut deep into the abdomen
Yet you continue to kiss me, and caress my check, leaving scars of red everywhere 
Droplets of a beautiful color ooze soothingly from thee cuts
A feeling of lust consumes me 
A rage of vulnerability conquers me
A sick pleasure overwhelms me 
I try. I will.
And I produce all might to put my hands behind your neck 
My legs around your waist 
And I kiss you and love you 
And sense fades yet the heart still wants
Still lusts, still orders
Yet the blood continues to pour 
The body begins to suffer 
And pain a bit I begin to sense
As I wince, surrendering my arms to my chest 

There's a 2nd part, please do read it c:


Details | Free verse | |

Dying with a Smile

Love is an unspoken form of maschism
And it's slowly killing me inside.
Each minute of silence 
A lost beat of my heart.
My ribs are all knives now
Stabbing my flesh and making it bleed.
My heart feels vast, hollow
Cold,
Like a hundred story skyscraper-
its residents packed up and left suddenly with out so much as a note on the door
And their rent unpaid.
And each day my skin screams and tries to escape my body and I saw at it with broken glass in an attempt to set it free but I can't.
I am trapped.

And our love is the five ton anchor pulling me beneath the waves.
Our love is the air bubbles frothing from my mouth and the cries of my lungs as they are
filled with the sea.

And our love is the smile on my face that doesn't dare fade despite the pain.

Our love is the hope that soon
I won't need to breathe.
That the chains will break and set me free
To wash ashore with the millions of others and watch them stand up and brush the sand from their hair and turn to bask in the sun's embrace.

Our love is what breaks my legs, keeps my back to the sun and my eyes locked on the dark waters in the hopes that you will emerge and grasp my hand and help me stand! 

Our love will starve me
And burn me
And deprive me of sleep.
I will die for our love before I leave this shore without you by my side.
And maybe,
Just maybe,k
I can smile for once without the pain.


Details | Lyric | |

On the Wagon

On the Wagon…

I’m on the wagon
Out to slay the dragon
His breath of fire always one step behind
I’m on the wagon
Out to slay the dragon
With my only weapon 
The power stored within my mind…

Cleaning up the act
Facing all the facts
When you were burning you know you couldn’t see
Removing the blindfold
The truth is seen and told
Now you’re cooling down and fighting to be free

You’ve got to get away
Find someplace to stay
Immune to temptation as it looks for you
Start it once again
The beginning of the end
You’ve failed to see all that it has yet to do

I’m on the wagon, out to slay the dragon
His breath of fire always one step behind
On the wagon, out to slay the dragon
With my only weapon
The power stored within my mind…

Look straight into the mirror
How do things appear?
Can you make out through the haze, the bloodshot eyes
Remember the times you said, that’s it?
All those times you’d never quit
Can you, yourself, live with all of the lies?

I am on the wagon, out to slay the dragon
With his breath of fire always one step behind…



Details | Lyric | |

Burden of Hurt

The pain runs deep into
Affliction of the moon
In nightmares lead astray
That carry on into the day

And all I can pretend
That I am on the mend
When shame and hurt reveal
It’s only courage that can heal

The pain runs deeper still
An infection that could kill
And so I hold myself away
In loneliness I pray

And all my dreams are gone
As I spiral through the wrong
Where the only thing that’s true
Was the time I spent with you

My hurt claims every depth
It wants my every breath
My hurt leaves me unknown
It leaves me all alone

Yet the darkness of this place
Will still not ever turn my face
And though the pain will steal my mind
At least my soul can never die


Details | Free verse | |

The World Needs You, Lord

The world needs You, Lord;
We all need You too.
Alone, we battle and fall apart,
But we live joyful freedom with You:
Created anew in Your perfect image;
Saved,
Loved,
Changed,
In Your Holy Name!
We pray,
Amen!


Details | Rhyme | |

There's A Healing Jesus


There’s a healing Jesus!  
He’s alive today!
He’s here now!  And can take
 all sickness away!

There’s a loving Jesus!  
He can cleanse your soul!
He is more faithful, than 
you will every know!

There’s a merciful Jesus!  
He can change you within!
By his blood, you can know 
you’re born again!

There’s a powerful Jesus!
 He alone reigns supreme!
He’s the alpha and omega!  
And can do anything!

There’s a gracious Jesus! 
 He’s so loving and kind!
His dedication to us all, 
has stood the test of time!

Won’t you come to Jesus! 
 And receive him too?
He’s knocking at your heart’s door…  
Waiting for YOU!

Won’t you experience Jesus!  
And all he has to give!
He can make you a new person!  
Each day that you live!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Distant African Nights

Those Distant African Nights...


1.


The shadows swayed in your candlelit room,

a cool breeze teasing your bare back,


streaks of lightning forked in the Johannesburg night,

as my hands stroked your hair,

kissing your soft mouth,

holding you,

ever so tight.



2.


You whispered that you loved me,

and I kept silent,


the rain fell, 
shadows danced,
thunder rolled,

the breeze teased your naked back,

you whispered that you loved me,
as my lips found yours,

the rain washed over our tender nights,


lightning and candlelight,

etching poems on your burnished skin,


yet,

a fear gnawed at me,

deep within.



3.


We parted ways,
and you could never forgive me, you said,


now, after numberless thunderstorms,

the rain that falls,


echo the countless tears that I have shed.



4.


You are long gone,

far away,

happy, I pray,


yet the memories persist,

those precious moments shall never, 
ever,

like the Jo'burg rains,
trickle away,

and I wish you well,
for loving me as you did,

for it was I who was not worthy,


then,


and it is I who is not worthy,


now...



5.


You were always true,


it was I who always,

always,

refused to,


to give myself,


completely to you.






Details | I do not know? | |

The Sieve of Time



The Sieve of Time



Cast ashore,
along the banks of time,

whirling through the passing years,
clinging to my futile scribbles set in rhyme,


Cast ashore,
thrust into an unrehearsed pantomime,

clenching slivers of joy as weariness descends,
lulled into a peaceful slumber exhilaratingly sublime.


Cast ashore,
hazily adrift, a dandelion seed on the wings of time,

trapped in the sieve of spiralling memories,
caught between pristine bliss, and reeking slime.


Cast ashore,
flung aside for no discernible crime,

my human heart thuds with elusive hope,
though battered, bruised, and covered in grime,

I stagger ashore, 

alone,

embracing each moment of detached, oblivious time.



Details | I do not know? | |

Without You



Without you,

worn down, weary,
staggering into tomorrow,
dissolving my todays, grim, dreary,

I crawl, slipping out of my skin,
flinging laughter, joy, contentment,
into the gaping abyss of life's dustbin.

Without you


Details | Free verse | |

Cliffhanger

Teetering on the edge 
staring into the darkness below 
the swirling emptiness 
reminds me of my soul 
a bottomless pit 
filled with hopes and dreams 
never to be reached 

and yet I dangle 
day after day 

I should have lept by now 
to discover new depths 
or to end old disappointments 
but like the punch drunk boxer 
whose pride refuses to quit 
and never intelligent enough 
to realize it is time 
I shall battle on 

yet it would be so easy 
to throw in the towel 
submit to uselessness 
to martyr myself 
but it is not my pain 
nor my suffering 
that approaches the edge 
it is yours 
and my desire to take it 
into the depths of my very soul........ 

I wish that I could sacrifice myself 
for the pain of the world, especially the children, 
but then I realized I am amongst the multitude.


Details | Pastoral | |

The Last Hour of the Christ

I wear the crown of hatred
misunderstanding and despair upon my hair
upon my back a wooden cross I bare
I know not why I’m hated so
all the people seemed to love me just a week ago

my skin is cut from head to toe
from whips of leather by men who wish to see me die
I spoke the truth for all the people to understand
my words of truth where words to set man free
from degradation hate and hell to live in harmony
for the rest of history

I cured the sick and healed the blind
with the touch of my own hand
I’ve walked on water and walked on sand
to preach and bring my truth through out the land 

people came from all around 
and would sit for hours upon the ground
I once had twelve good men who followed me around
now there’s only eleven one man let me down

my words have been mistaken
my God he has forsaken 
for that my life they’re taken
I believe that I have failed 
as my hands and feet are nailed upon this wooden cross
as they raise me in the air
all their sins I know I must bare

I want to scream not fair not fair
I’m just a young man I only wanted to teach
there are so many more people that I wanted to reach
my age is only thirty three
I pray my God
that they the people will remember me

written by Dennis H. Davis 
This poem was written from the human aspect of Jesus Christ. I wrote this poem with no effort what so ever it was as though it was being told to me. I watched my hand move across the page with a purpose a message I believe Jesus wanted this poem written.


Details | Free verse | |

Hypocrite

I am a hypocrite and look what I just did:
I fell into my darkest pit; now, again, and again.
I thought that I was strong enough to live the truths I said;
Now I realized I'm much too weak; a fool too ashamed to raise his head.
God, please save me, please forgive me, and please give me strength. 
I love You.
I thank You.
I am forever changed.


Details | Free verse | |

Dancing with Despair

I have danced while music played,
and smiled, although despairingly,
through tears at smiles not meant for me.
My soft eyes, though brown and drab,
have strived to glitter, with scant success,
as others shone bright, emitting light
beneath their lashes, lush and long.
While I lurched in crazy drunken spirals,
others, precise, performed their pirouettes
and slid across the polished floor
and smiled and laughed and more:
completely at their ease.
What terminal disease decrees
despair my partner in this dance?
Is there no chance to sit the music out,
a listener, discrete, devout?
While others whirl and dip, I slide and slip.
Must I be a half-a-pair with stumbling feet,
inept novice, graceless lout who, led about,
never has an easy air dancing with despair?


Details | Blank verse | |

The Knowing

I know, you know
Everything in time has meaning.
I know, you know…

I know, you know
Every soul in life is fleeting
I know, you know…

I know, you know
The beauty of this world is leaving.
I know, you know…

I know, you know
Even words can cause a reaping.
I know, you know

I’ve seen the energy, pass this galaxy,
Before the dawn of even you and me. 
Just know this can be yours. 

I know the pain you’ve seen
And the screams of your tragedy. 
Just know my means will justify your sword.  

So let us fuse here, combine here, and die here never. 
So let us cry here, fight fear, feel the sear of pain together. 

And all you’ll need will be clear. 
All I will need is your blood near
And in your pen we’ll live forever. 

I know, you know
No one can ever give you what I am giving.
We know now, we know.


Details | Free verse | |

A Prayer For Healing

Father,
Do not let me be the demon I have created me to be.
I am the product of myself and my negativity.
I trust You.
I love You.
I thank You.
In Your name,
We pray,
Amen.


Details | Free verse | |

Diagnosis

The doctor has examined the patient 
And the diagnosis is clear 
Terminal!
For the patient 
A horrible death I fear 

I am not one for the continued suffering of the patient 
The condition will only get worse 
Day by day and year-by-year 
And will increase as the end comes near 

This disease unfortunately 
Has no cure 
It not a virus or a germ 
But something old and pure 

Its existence has been known 
And continues to endure 
Attempts at a solution 
Have been met with confusion

We have tried for a long time 
To relieve the patient’s pain 
Only to have our efforts 
Die in vain 

The patient you see won’t survive 
But the evil that inflicts him 
Will continue to thrive 

Our solution both radical and insane 
Will offer comfort and remove the pain 

Kill the patient and all the cells 
And the evil will no longer 
Have a home to dwell 

The world can no longer sustain the infection 
It can no longer support the evil deeds of man 
It will soon be time for the patient to be cured 
Through the Resurrection 

Eric (and sometimes not)

 
 

 
 


Details | Free verse | |

The Pain That Traveled Around the World

We share in the sadness.
This unimaginable pain.
Children are not suppose to be taken away.
The school yard is silent
Where has the laughter gone?
The echo of angished spirits crying out to the Heaven
So much has been lost 
First dances
Kisses, hugs
Graduations, Proms
Weddings, grandchildren, future generations lost.
What Gifts will we never see?
Innocence has been snatched from our grasp.
Will we ever be the same?
It is not possible!
Their deaths can not be avenged.
No sense can be made of the senseless.
We cling to our children 
Try to comfort them
Will the victims have any comfort?
Will the World's tears console them?
Will their loss have been in vain?
Lock away the Guns
Change the way we think!
Our rights are secondary to the lives of our children.
Is not one life worth more than our right to bear Arms?
We can decide.
What choice will we make?



Details | Free verse | |

Losing Grip

Future held such initial promise
But shallow dreams disintegrated
Coalescing into shallower reality

Despite my youth, pain cripples me to geriatric apathy
General interest long gone, death has become the single concern
A welcome embrace, a welcome friend
Tardiness is expected, as well as encouraged

Release me from these eternally shrinking walls
Allow the peons to continue their superficial pursuits
Never meshing well into the fold, I yearn simply for permanent isolation
There is not enough joy to justify the agony that life forever guarantees me

Nihilism and anger, desires for maniacal retribution, the only feelings I've ever known
Clouded over now by perpetual physical torment, my formerly hollow shell continues to exist without capacity for optimism
Yet without hate, there seems nothing left
Shall I forever be adrift?


Details | Quatrain | |

Dissonance

restless heart in need of flight
the time is drawing near
future bliss within his sight
in the present lives his fear

what he has and what he needs
inhabit different pages
conscience shamed by guilty deeds
such sin has costly wages


Details | Free verse | |

Fractured Souls

O Mighty Atlantic…
 What is this fascination which I have with you?
Could it be a part of me your lays trapped somewhere in midst?
You are like an old confidant with countless secrets you hold!
There’s an ancient one which haunts me today, and you guard it well…
Like the miles of warehouses, hidden within your belly
Where spirits of my ebony ancestors lie, shackled in rusted chains
Never again to see the rising sun?!

I know not why this had to be
And do I dare to ask God, Why? 
So, I wait; for in time all will be revealed.
The centuries march on; they’ve left behind the invisible scars
Broken spirits, lost and weary, walk an unforgiving earth,
Carrying within fractured souls the abject pain of ancestral spirits 
Separated by the gulf of time and buried, frozen in the deep.

Do you still hear the sounds of terror mingled with mournful groans;
The piercing wails of vibrant girls; and young men’s angry roars?
Do you hear the soft murmurs of young mothers comforting a child?!
Was their agony so bitter that you could not console?!
Do you recall the sound of each one’s last, labored breath?!...
I hear their screams and groans; their piteous pleas and angry roars
Echoed by wild winds and crashing waves on dark, stormy nights!  

I have felt the cold and dismal pain that “waters” hate,
A dark, heavy cloak which broken spirits don. 
We survived the middle passage and "seem" free; 
But we know that a mortally wounded spirit cannot fly! 
And though rusty chains no longer hold, spirits are held fast in place!
Where are our eyes?  Give us eyes!
Father, give us new eyes so we will see!
~*~


Details | Rhyme | |

Life is but a song

a thunderous drum beat 
or a sweet soothing melody 
life flows up and down 
like the scales of harmony 

Imagine-John Lennon 

it's never been hard to see 
the pain that resides in me 
for my heart lies upon my sleeve 
Kevlar shirts to keep me warm 
to protect others from a rising storm 
that could easily be unleashed 
transforming man to beast 

Cats and the Cradles-Harry Chapin 

Promises turned to lies 
viewed through blackened eyes 
your oaths I despise 
to love, teach and protect 
became nothing more than neglect 
the mythical part of parenthood 
has always been the word "good" 

A horse with no name-America 

lost without a name 
guilt, shame 
another fault 
to believe in the adult 
as seering hatred burned 
a child learned 
trust must be earned 
carved upon stone 
to atone 
for empty sand 
we didn't understand 
the times 
the crimes 
nor the rhymes 

The Reasons-Earth, Wind, and Fire 

my existence 
the persistence 
of something to give 
a reason to live 
to help others 
sisters and brothers 
sharing, comparing 
our pain 
their rain 
sunny skies 
victorious sighs 
no longer numb 
we have overcome 

Unchained Melody-Al Green 

childhood just a memory 
that disappointed me 
with the pain it brought 
but the lessons wrought 
worth more than gold 
needing to be told 
to let go 
the music like tears 
must flow 

a thunderous drum beat 
or a sweet soothing melody 
life flows up and down 
like the scales of harmony........... 


Details | Rhyme | |

My Life Began in Six Weeks

My life began at six weeks
Why indeed should that be?
Because up till that point
My parents I did not see
 
An adopted child I was
As my new parents did say
Who were my real mum and dad?
I never knew to this day
 
I lived among the flowers and the grass
As the countryside was my home
Where I enjoyed the fresh air
With space to wander and roam
 
But many challenges lay ahead
School, job and all of life
Many changes come my way
Survived it all even the strife
 
Now looking back on my life
I see the divine hand
Looking after me all the time
Holding me up so to stand
 
poetgord@2013


Details | I do not know? | |

Illegitimi non Carborundum

Illegitimi non carborundum ;-)


...Staggering, my vision cloudy,


I fall to the hard ground.


when life’s sharp left-jab leaves my face bloody,


and all that surrounds me, is the desolation of loss I feel all around.



I see myself slipping,

down the abyss to where nothingness exists,


still, I cling on, groping for a foothold,

for my will to stay persists.



I clamber up, I stand my ground, though battered and bruised I may be,


my curtain is not falling yet, I have some fight still left in me.



It is then, in the pit of despair, when all seems bleak and painful and dull,


I summon the strength from deep within,


I rise, slowly, to face the day,


I refuse to sink,

to wallow, to surrender, to throw in the towel,


to drown,


for I am stronger now,


indeed I am, after all the years, and all the battles,


I stand, bruised and bloody,


still,


I stand,


I refuse, to sink, to drown,


for they can try, to punish me some more,


but I shall not allow them to grind me down…


;-)


Details | I do not know? | |

She

She

She smiled, gently,
her warmth infusing me,
with a serene stillness of time.

She settled, slowly,
in my waking thoughts,
a soothing balm of simple joy.

She remains, scribbled,
on the walls of my fractured heart,
memories of happiness that once breathed...



Details | Free verse | |

One more drink

I cannot stop missing  you 
I sit here night after night 
with the wine glass in hand 
the bottle half gone 
every day it takes a little more 
just to ease the nauseating pain 
your gone that is my reality 
there is nothing that I can say 
nothing that I can do 
your simply gone 
I hear the rumors every now and again 
and silently hope 
they are just that 
rumors
I dont think that I can handle 
any more blunt reality 
time has passed, 
they say time will heal all wounds 
yet I still hurt 
I hurt as much today 
as I did then 
I try to find ways 
just to cope with the pain 
I lose myself 
I get lost in the wine 
drunk with pain and sorrow 
friends have told me to let you go 
easier said then done 
I try to put on a great show 
cant let them see how damaged I really am 
so I smile and go through the motions 
of day to day life 
but when it is me 
and only me
 I let the tears fall like rain
and wait for the wine to take away the pain  




Details | Rhyme | |

Many Families Are In Difficult Situations

I’ve seen many families in difficult situations!
Often ending up in lies and false accusations!

I’ve seen many families stray way off course…
And tragically, often, end up in a divorce!

I’ve seen the hardships that many families endure.
Their faith has often been shaken. 
 That’s for sure!

I’ve seen many families trying to give 100 percent.
And then wondering where all of their time went!

I’ve seen all these things happening
 and much more!
I have wondered; “what is all of this happening for?”

I’ve just one thing to say in this “chaotic confusion.”
Only the blood of Jesus gives
 any hope or solution!

It’s only in his word, we’ll find a godly direction!
His Holy Spirit can give true and loving correction!

May we seek his spirit to bind us all together!
And pray for his blood for our protection forever!

Please come Lord Jesus, and refresh our soul!
We need you right now, to make us whole!

Please touch our heart, and make us all one!
And heal every father, mother, daughter and son!

Please help us to watch what we’ll do and say!
You can turn our darkest night
 into the brightest day!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

A Tear

What's in a tear?
Is it love, hope, sadness, fear?

I feel it well and mar my sight
I feel it when the darkness turns to night

A sweet warm turn of key
A long ago surfaced memory

I know not why it returns just now
I only now that for now it holds pow'r

Is it the song or is it sorrow
That brings tear from field so fallow

The salty, bitter, wet repeat
Of a pain we relive through history

It comes in pain and love and after story
It even comes with pull of glory

Whether glory or love or pain or fear
It still stands, a testament of humanity here
A temp brand of strife, internal or extere*
It makes me human, one of you, more near




* Extere = Exterior


Details | Free verse | |

So Close, Yet So Far

It's like I'm there,
Standing behind a glass wall.
I've had a taste,
Just not the full platter.
I'm ready for the cake,
But all I have is batter.


Details | Free verse | |

Futile Contemplation

When next you sit 
And contemplate
The emptiness 
Of your life,
Perhaps you'll muse
Past old mistakes,
Old Lovers,
And their lies.
Too many moments
Slip silently away
Longing for the past;
And moments mount
Against the day
To win the war at last.
With your lifetime spent
And no reserve,
Where will your last 
Days find you:
Contemplating the pain ahead
Or lost in the pain behind you?
Stop for a quivering moment
And breathe deeply of the Peace,
Release the pain, accept the gain
And rejoice in its release.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Bullying ruin lives

Every day in school
They would pick on him
And threaten to kill his mom
If he reported them

The constant abuse 
And the physical attacks
For months he took it
And the teachers all turn their backs

The shame and humiliation
His peace of mind and sanity is gone
The hurt in his heart 
While the girl he likes helplessly looks on

The frustrations of the parents
Seeing their only child health decline
And the teachers who turn a blind eye
Telling them everything in school is fine

The attempt of suicide one night
When the father saw him with knife
Asking if he will go to heaven or hell
If he takes his own life

The tear of the kidney
For the force of the kicks and blows
The lost of appetite and weight
The suffering only he alone knows

But he did open his mind he said
I can’t got through another year like this
And when they were arrested then many
Told the press what they had witness

Today he is trying to get back his life
But his road is pave with bad memories
And sometimes he almost reaches the end
And then get scared of the shadows of the trees

Then he is right back where he started
And then he has to start again with frustration
Sometime lashing out at his parents and family
Trying to get some much need attention

Looking at him very quite sitting alone
Wondering what’s going on in his poor mind
And wishing to that one day god will
Bring him the peace he so much wants to find

He is a fighter and his will are very strong
Yes today he is along way from there
And I know that eventuality the time will come
His smile will return that has now disappear

The war must be over for now
But every day he has a battle to face
But in the end he will be victorious
And get back his life that has been misplace

So many kids has and are being bulled
And some are talking their own lives
For when you feel all hope is gone
Then it’s very hard to survive

They are sick and tired of the abuse,
and they little minds fought so hard, so very long,
And was just couldn’t make it
through the pain, and stayed strong.

I wish all students will look after the weak
The ones who are very quite and shy
And if the teachers and students do this
Then so many of our children will not have to die


Details | Rhyme | |

It's Hard To See The One You Love Go Through Pain


It's Hard To See Someone Go Through' Pain... "It's hard to see someone I love go through so much pain." Were the words I heard that night I called on Jesus' name. "This person whom I love, has gone through so much." "How I wish to bring my peace and healing touch." I cried and wept, as I heard the master's voice. His gift of love is for all of us... It's our choice! His body was broken... A sacrifice was made. His life for our sorrow and pain, is what he gave. His grace is more than sufficient for the pain we endure. His love and commitment to you, is true and secure. He loves you so much. He waits at your heart's door. He gives peace and comfort. And so much more! The pain and suffering you're going through today. Please listen to the words Christ has to say. "I am El-Shadaii." "Jehovah-Jireh." "Your very best friend." "My love and devotion to you will never, never end." By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Port of Call

Port of Call


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

with the breath of the ocean a caressing balm,
soothing pained memories away,
to the swaying of a solitary palm.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

feeling the brushing away of all past turmoil,
on a quest for solace, ever so hard to find,
yet comforted by the crashing of the waves,
as the tide cleanses all pain,
and leaves despair far, far behind.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

drenched in a sea-breeze of mist,
that hushes the ache of bygone moons,
tasting the salty tang on my lips,
as the burnished sun,
over the distant horizon,
swoons,

and dips.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

searching, ever searching,
for a slice of solitude,
as memory bids a final adieu,
reaching under the sea so vast,
and seeking comfort in the depths,
while embracing,
the tomorrows to come,
wishing that they be true.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

seeing my truths drown,
as they slip beneath the turquoise waters,

feeling my heart ablaze,
with a passion that rarely falters.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

yet knowing that I am home at long last,
wishing the waves would wash away,
the defences that once stood,
like an impregnable wall.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

I have found, at long last,

my final port of call.


Details | Quatrain | |

Mine Anger 2K12

Good morrow anger! Found am I not less
Angered more so; Pray thee hinder not more.
Kindred stolen of murder; Most senseless!
O murderer, locked are frigid doors; Naught honor.


Details | I do not know? | |

Saturday Rain in Johannesburg

Saturday Rain in Johannesburg…


…With sighs of torrential passion,
the heavens shower teardrops,

weeping with me,
as memories of you come cascading back,

skin on skin, ablaze,
moist kisses, fiery,
gentle whispers of undying love, murmured,

in another life, another time,

far removed from my present, a desolate state of despair,
wallowing in the grime.

…

The rain keeps falling,
each teardrop stinging my face,

tasting the salt on my lips,

I wonder, do you still remember the caresses of my fingertips,

between breathy confessions, and vows of eternal love,

before you left me, stranded on an island of solitude,

wounded as a wingless dove,

bereft of life,
stripped of all traces of fortitude


Details | ABC | |

SIMPLICITY

It started out simple, I never thought it through. The start of an addiction so exciting and new.  I could have never for seen how far it would go. If I would have thought it trough I would have been strong and said “NO”.   It started out simple, It was my favorite thing.  I never for seen the heartbreak it would bring. It started out simple, yet so intense, so strong.  I could have never for seen the addiction would hold me for so long. It’s not so simple when the best parts of you break away, day by day. It’s not so simple when your favorite thing is something you hate.  How could I for see what would become my fate?  It’s not so simple when you’re trying to keep from getting sick but with every prick you get more sick; sick of yourself and this nasty habit you keep. I never knew it would go this deep.  It started out simple, it ended so complex. How could I have for seen my life would become this unmanageable mess. Down low in the gutter, ashamed, and depressed. How could I have for seen id be under arrest, for this habit I love, it’s this habit I hate.  It started out simple, it started out great. How could I have for seen id become a felon and in prison id wait?  It’s not so simple, I guess it never really was…..next time I’ll makes it simple, next time I’ll say no to these drugs!


Details | Free verse | |

In my rear view

Driving by and in the dim lights you 
can see someone sitting in the rain 
under an over hang of a house with a 
distraught look upon their face. 
Lifting their head up only to glance at 
the passing by cars and you can 
almost see the disappointment in 
their eyes as they realize you are not 
the person approaching the street, 
just driving by, not to stop, that they 
wished you were.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Poet

It is a fever.

  
The poet

They found the poet outside the park

His steps spoke many words of wine

His upper half seemed half asleep

And his feet walked a crooked line

His arms were spread as if to fly

His lips apart as though to speak

The telltale flush of liquid joy

Told tales of  rum from cheek to cheek

The night herself caroused with him

Drunk on sadness, drunk on care

And drink they drank, the weary lovers

Setting wine against despair

The bonds of reason, broken down

His mind amok, and absent sense

The world in woe, the world in glory

Lay before his presidence

 

And it was then they walked to him

Rudely rousing man from dream

Casting eye on village bard

Taking man as man would seem

"Sing for us again, o bard

Cast your words at senses keen"

This was why they broke his peace

Winters twice his summers seen

"Sing for us again o bard

Spin sweet words from bitter truth

Stir the embers of your heart

Dig through elder years to youth. And

Let the fountain spring with might!!

Showering us with wisdom earned

Showing us the link in hand

Of teachers harsh and lessons learned

Free yourself from wine's embrace!

We would hear a tale or two"

Turns to them, a wizened face

"Ask not man, but what is due."

Graying eyes regard the gathered

Moving on, from face to face

"The world whirls in the hands of time

And yet all things remain in place"

"As yet all men remain the same

The board reset a dozen times

Pi-eces unaltered, so is game

Though rearranged, the given lines

You come to me as bank to debtor

You plague me with unbridled want

Says at last, man to tormentor

'Cease at once your unjust haunt""

It is a fever

"It is not a gift so given

It is not a boon bestowed

Nor is sight beheld as blessing

When the eyes have overflowed

With the sorrows of existence

Pain cavorts with all men born

Know the price of your persistence

Hear the words of man forlorn

What is loss compared to weakness?

What is pain compared to need?

When the soul suffers from sickness

To give blood to those who bleed

O for those suffering in secret

O for hidden scars concealed

Know a secret's mark of secrets

Is in wounds that never healed

The world at large, and I remain

Numb in spirit, numb of mind

My inner coldness feed by pain

Reaped from years left far behind

 

It is a fever that I have

It is an illness I possess

It is a symptom that you worship

It is a sign that you profess

To love, to need, to love to hear

While I remain diseased of soul

You chant and clap then disappear

Then falls to me, each telling's toll

 

It is a sadness that I feel

It is madness that I suffer

When the muses offer gifts

Turn your backs and run for cover

Talent has a price, and paid

This price I have, each passing day

Rise to cup and rise to can

Drink my fill then come what may

All my masters come before me

Warned me of the poet's curse

Know you all of Byron's story

Know you all that Poe's was worse

Happiness is bound to beauty

Joy to all that beauty, see

But for those that birth said beauty

All is pain and tragedy

Listen to my fading voice, now

Listen to my silent plea

Know the doom of every poet

And ask of this, no more from me

I will fellowship with Bacchus

Gimlets of the finest sort

Rise to can and drunken glory

Fall to pleasure and cavort

Now my night bids me return

Wine is all that shields from sorrow

Sets me free from all concern

Trouble enough, will be tomorrow"

His soul unburdened, back unbent

All is caught in a lengthy pause

He turns to go, the air is rent

With sounds of cheer, and of applause

Now lowering balding head to ground

"Man may speak but none may hear

Sing for us again o Bard,

Has now become a thing to fear"


Details | Lyric | |

Into Many Lifetimes

In this lifetime the bond is blood
But these wounds go back eons
We hurt at something seemingly small
But the game of pain 
Has a Great Fall of Fame
Into many lifetimes

Whether we choose to see what is
Our reality is this moment
Or taste disastrous recipes of loathing
The gift of the present is to forgive
As He forgave us
Into many lifetimes

If your promise was to show me pain
I felt the deep pangs of that sadness
And accept what is 
Let’s leave judgment at the doormat
Love requires integrity
Into many lifetimes

I choose forgiveness
For no person is innocent
Like water under the bridge
But when I stare at the water
It doesn’t seem to move
Into many lifetimes

To truly forgive is to allow Being
Release brings evaporation of rooted ego 
Forgiveness is the only way
The Truth and the Life
Created with cobblestones of love 
Into many lifetimes

I forgive myself for my shortcomings
I release my fears and disappointments
This lopsided backpack of pain is too heavy
I forgot I could put it down! 
As I walk the next path
Into many lifetimes


Details | I do not know? | |

Mido Macia 1986 - 2013


Mido Macia 1986 - 2013


Mido Macia was a 27 year old Mozambican man, working in Daveyton near Johannesburg as a taxi-driver, who was found dead in a police cell, after police savagely dragged Mr. Macia whom they had tied to their police van.

The brutal incident of Mr. Macia being dragged was caught on camera and has shocked South Africa.

The 8 police officers involved are facing charges of murder, and have been suspended from the South African Police Service (SAPS).

This poem is an angry poem that I felt had to be written, because as a society, we need to ask ourselves and each other the hardest questions about xenophobia and intolerance and violence.





Mido Macia 1986 - 2013


Death came to Mido Macia,
a savage, brutal, hellish death came to Mido Macia.


Death came to Mido Macia,
death dressed-up in the colours of authority,
as callous, vile, sadistic policemen murdered Mido Macia.


The video-footage is blood-curdling,
Mido Macia being dragged,
his hands tied behind him,
to a police van.


But death came later to Mido Macia,
death cheered, clapped, and tore into Mido Macia.


Death came to Mido Macia,
in the cells where they murdered Mido Macia.



Death came to Mido Macia,
a fuelled, cheered-on, instigated death came to Mido Macia.


We are all culpable,
every one of us is culpable,


from racist 'jokes' emailed and texted,
to self-righteous comments about the 'foreigners',


from casual dinner-table conversations,

'they take our jobs',
'they are crooks' 
the 'they marry our women' kind of lunch-time chats,


racist, xenophobic, hate-filled talk,


to beating a human-being to death in a police cell,


or on the streets of Cape Town, Johannesburg ,

and in Daveyton,

where death came to Mido Macia.



Mido Macia 1986 - 2013




Details | Lyric | |

The Time Has Come To Tell The Tale

The Time Has Come to Tell the Tale…

As all stories begin; a long, long time ago many years removed from now
My memory recalls events from the age of two, when the bullets took the life
Of a good man, an honest man, and what would this world need with that? 
We’re built on lies from the foundation up and there is no room for an honorable man
Led by the hand we’re all parts in the play, pieces to a puzzle still unbuilt
We take our pain like the victors to the grave, though our silence must be broken
Unspoken words may rhyme, but will it be enough that you can read between the lines
Grasp the meaning to the vagueness as it is spelled in black and white…

The never-ending trauma of past events that have done far more harm than good
No lesson learned, no explanation ever given, no apologies ever offered or accepted
And the pain again returns to haunt me, because I know things would not be the same
And what difference it all makes now is the battle I continue to fight each day
Few chances given, even fewer taken, so many risks I have never run
Where has loyalty ever gotten anyone, in this day and age where deeds die with the day?
Held back by the inhibitions that were inbred into my way of thinking… 



Details | I do not know? | |

Secret shame

I have this secret
left untold
and to tell or leak it,
I'm not bold.
It's about me
and I carry its shame,
I'm too afraid to
give this thing name.
When I was young,
a little lad small still
I had a taste of poisins
sweetest kill.
I thought it pleasure
such sin to fullfill.
I'm now penitent,
but given to its will.
It shaped my nature
and held captive my thoughts,
creating imaginings that never
should have ought.
It grew worse
as I gave in to curse
that sickens me
in ways I cannot verse,
I wish to ask your help
but than I'd have to tell . . .
and that I cannot do
secret silenced my yell.
I cry alone and noone
could ever concieve the death
that empties me,
until im left with breath
and heartbeat,
but no will to live,
because my secret
killed what I had to give . . .


Details | Free verse | |

How Do I Let You Go

What will be
Will be!
I know of this, first hand
Your life was taken away
So abruptly!
I will 
Never forget
That day!
Till the day 
My body dies
And
I am with you, again!

“How was I to prepare myself?”
With 
That kind of 
Life changing, event!
You 
Didn't warn me 
You
Were permanently leaving!
I hope 
You know 
How much “I love you”
Know
You will never be forgotten!

I don’t know 
What 
Has got into me!
Consciously
I feel you
Inside me
I see images
Of your face 
So clearly!
Am I crazy 
To believe in this, my love?

“Are you still with me?”
“Is my imagination 
Playing cruel tricks
Running rampant
As
I talk with you
As if 
You were by my side, right now

In my heart and mind
Your face etched
Imprinted
Like a blue print
That never fades
Your foot prints 
Still remain, beside me
My heart beats
Eternally
Trying to make sense of everything!

Forgive me, my love
For being so strong in my feeling
For it has been a long time
Since I lost you, my friend
Something 
I haven’t
Quite
Got over!

My heart 
Having 
A mind of its own
Aching 
To be with you, still!
To see you
To smell you
To touch you
To taste you
One
Last time!

I want to say “Goodbye” 
Once and for all!
As 
We have
Brought out
The best and worst 
In each other
Rivers run deep
When it comes to you and me!

We have had our fair share of fights and arguments
Stubborn disagreements
All of them
Meaningless
Now
You cease to exist!

I miss your lingering touches
Your hand, stroking my face
Your big, blue eyes
Looking into mine
Your warm lips
Your rough, unshaven face 
The way you
Passionately
Kiss me
While
We make love, till dawn

I miss
All those nights
You kept me 
Safe and warm!
I miss
Your
Loving embrace
I miss
Your
Reassurance!
“Am I ever going to feel the same, with another?”
Just
As 
I felt
In your arms, my love?

How
Do I let you go?
How
Do I set myself, free?
I am ready
To love, again!
With 
‘Our eternal love’
Supporting
And 
Guiding me
Especially
In times, like these!


Details | I do not know? | |

The Swaying of the Grass

1.

 

A path leads,

to where wild grass grows,

 

sashaying in the summer breeze.

 

2.

 

Along the path,
lightness settles within,

 

feeling the grass,
swooning,
tickling ankles,

 

swaying to the lilting bird-song,

in a dance of intimate abandon,

 

brushing the remnants of pain away.

 

3.

 

Melodies float across fields of green,

delicately caressing my heart,

 

teasing emptiness to flee,

comforting the mind,

 

to silently be.

 

4.

 

Walking on,
savouring the peace,

 

a momentary respite,
from the burdens of the now,

 

all is quiet,

 

a stillness cradling fractured emotions,

 

the grass in the fields sway,

 

dusk descends,

 

shadows lengthen,

 

nudging dimming light to take leave,

 

of the day


Details | Free verse | |

True Reality

Why is it
I am always wrong?
Something
I have always done?
Why is it
I am 
Never good enough
In your eyes
In challenging times?

How many times
Do I have to say
“I love You?”
What will it take
To convince
That mind 
And 
Heart 
Of yours?

What can I say
That will ease 
This jealousy
And 
Resentment
You feel towards me
When drinking 
Too much booze
Killing what brain cells
Are left
In that stubborn 
Head of yours!

How long 
Will it take
For you 
To believe in me?
For I know
I am a fool 
Staying here, with you!
Feeling desperate
Lost and lonely
Dreams squashed
Emotionally drained
When ‘we’ need to pull together
In union ship
To make 
This bond strong
Between us!

'Uniting as One’'

'Love Conquering All'

“Well!”
“So, I am told!”

I love you more
Than this
Arguing and fighting!
But 
You refuse to understand
The love I have for you

My head 
Tells me to stay with you
But
My heart knows
I cannot!
For
I have asked you 
To be kind to me
I have asked
You to open up 

Your anger and rage
Continues growing
Out of control
Taking over
Like
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 
Burning bridges
Being ruthless
Always
Out for the kill!

I need to break away!
I need to clear my head!
I need to experience
Love and longevity
True togetherness
With 
The one’s I love!
My heart needs to experience
‘Healthy Love’
My heart deserves the best!
You now
Belong in my past
I am no longer the person
You once knew me, to be

Your insecurities
Your inner demons 
Far bigger
Than any of the love
You choose to acknowledge 
Or 
Feel from me!

You can believe this 
To be true
If nothing else!

“Love thy self”

Share
Without personal gain
Being 
Your Primary Motive!
Know Love 
Be Love, in Action!

Be honest
Have empathy now
As
I cut these cords
Of emotional bondage
That 
Bind us together 
True Love 
No longer 
Our foundation!

I stand on my own
Knowing
I have learnt the lessons
You have come to teach
I now know
What love isn't!
“I thank you”
For showing me this!

My illusions of love
Blinding me
Colouring my experiences
Revealing
Only what 
'I Wanted Us To Be'
Not
‘True Reality’


Details | Rhyme | |

There Shall Come A Great Tribulation

There Shall Come A Great Tribulation!

You’ll find In the Bible... 
In the book of Revelation.
One day... There shall come
 a great tribulation.

There shall be famine and war 
this world has never seen.
"Satan's fury" being poured 
out upon everything.

The Antichrist will appear 
as "the world leader."
"The man with all of the answers."  
"A great world healer."

People won't be able to buy or sell
 without a mark on their hand.
While corruption and wickedness 
prevails throughout the land.

Our only hope and answer during 
much chaos and anxiety.
Is Jesus.  In HIM we can 
have life abundantly!

This world shall one day 
perish and pass away.
 God's truth and his word are here to stay!

Come to Jesus now... 
He invites you to come.
Accept the gift of eternal life 
from God's precious son!

He's our only hope in this
 world which we live.
He is so patient and kind... 
willing to forgive.

Will your name be in God's 
book of life someday?
Are you ready to meet him on judgment day.

This world... or Jesus... the choice
 by you must be made.
The price for your soul... 
on Calvary... has been paid!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Seeded Pain

This is far more greater a pain that was ever needed ,
The damage done long ago when it was seeded.
    This hurt you planted deep within me ,
Has grown to a  size that just shouldnt be .
     Disrespect and neglect it means nothing to you,
For it is something you just will always do.
     Love doesn't hurt like this it never  could ,
The words mean nothing to you but they should .
    Compassion and understanding is what love takes ,
If you want to live a love without heartbreaks.
    Talking and listening go hand in hand ,
To love in this life as a woman and a man.
     Im so devistated by the events of these days ,
Not able to to get you to ever  change your ways.
     How can I convince you that it is all a mistake,
And the pain and hurt  I can no longer take .
     Makes me never  wanting to awaken again,
No matter  even if it's  Gods  greatest sins .
TAC 


Details | I do not know? | |

On His Way To Hades

This hummingbird has forgotten himself
He has misplaced his natural instincts 
Flower to flower no longer serves 
His purpose his wings stand still as
He hovers about this particular rose 
She has become his fallen Goddess or
Rather his “to be fallen” did he take a 
Wrong turn the path to win this broken
Trophy seems all to familiar yet unlike any 
Other thorn bushes adorn its neck two shades  
Above darkness light her way she’ll trip 
Over her pain she just doesn’t know it yet 
Or maybe he lives oblivious to her trap
Me oh Venus before I’m able to fly away
I’ll return your pollen only to purloin your
Nectar once more while you feast on what’s
Left of my soul and I let you consume my 
Wings the pain comforts me it’s solace to a
Wounded hummingbird lost on his way  
To Hades


Details | I do not know? | |

When

When your church turns against you, 
What more pain could there be?
You need them most they’re not there
It’s what happened to me

When your date of expiration,
Comes and goes it is true
Tis life’s pain and the arrow
That was meant for you

You’re holding us fine,
But you’re only human, you know
Then you break down and
You let your weaker side show.

When your nerves are on end,
And you’re shaking all inside
When your breathing is shallow,
And there is none by your side.

A slit on the wrist, 
Or maybe across the neck
What’s the use in living?
What’s the use, what the heck?

What’s the use in living?
Why keep going on?
My life will never be good
Singing melancholy’s song. 


 


Details | Rhyme | |

Satan Told Me That No One Loves Me

Satan Told Me That No One Loves Me!

 I heard the devil whisper into my ear…
“No one loves you!”  “Come over here!”

In front of me, where temptations of various kinds...
It was almost overwhelming for my mind!

He promised “love.”  And much more!
I had no idea of what was in his “store!”

I asked Jesus to help the way I was livin.’
I needed his love, and HIS power of forgivin.’!

Would I trade all of this, for a life of deceit and lies?
Being “trapped” by what was,
 Shown to my eyes?

Was I going to trade what God gave,
 for a ”pleasure of the moment?”
Was I about to make a mockery of Christ’ atonement?

I ran, and bowed my head and cried…
For a brief moment, I felt rejected and despised!

 I felt the Holy Spirit’s presence all around me!
Iit was like the love of Jesus had filled me!

This time, I knew that what I had, was all I needed!
With Christ in my life, I no longer have to be defeated!

Satan is a liar!  He has one purpose and goal!
He wants nothing more, than to destroy my soul!

Take notice Satan!  This is what I proclaim!
Everything I’ll ever need!  I have in Jesus’ name!

The blessings from Jesus, has supplied my every need!
It’s an everlasting and abundant love, that I received!

Thank you Jesus! For giving what I need and more!
You are truly wonderful!  
And are worth living for!


By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

This dxxn dam

My mental barriers crumble
as I sink deeper into this drunken delirium.
Thoughts of her rush in
like water through the cracks of a broken dam.
As the stone wall falls
and I am swept away by the flood,
I am sliced by debris and images of her smile.
I become submerged 
and the sounds of her laugh flow into my ears.
Beat to hell and soaked with sorrow, 
I finally wash ashore.


Details | Free verse | |

Notary Unnoticed

I see
reflection

But is it 
me
seeing
again
as if
the first time
we hadn't
made love

Or perhaps
we
were
in love
and not
out of 
it

Pushing
it

between us

like
strangers


Details | I do not know? | |

Tendrils of Hope

Refusing to succumb,

to the alluring haze of self-pity,

I refuse to wallow,
in an ocean of regret,

I choose to banish thoughts of despair,

dispelling pain, while tempting joy to emerge from its shielded lair.

I shall sow the seeds of promise,

nourishing well,

the tendrils of hope,

breathing new life into my nights, my days.

I must stand, I will rise, I have to believe,

in a better tomorrow,

not perfect, nor rosy,

yet filled with tidbits of bliss,


as well as with shards of sorrow.


Details | Free verse | |

Him, Her and the World

i want to be angry

at him, at her, at the world

i want to be happy

for him, for her, for the world

i want to scream

at him, at her, at the world

and yet nobody likes me

not him, because of her, she's his world


Details | Senryu | |

I Don't Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry

Laughter... 

The manic depressives greatest tool 

Are you kidding me?


Details | Rhyme | |

Are You Filled With Hopelessness


Are You Filled With Hopelessness?

Are you filled with
hopelessness and despair?
In your circumstances…
God is always there!

Spending time God, will bring to
you needed refreshment.
You can talk to God now!
With no appointment!

He will listen to whatever
you have to say!.
You'll find he is very close...
just a heartbeat away!

Whatever problems you have.
Whatever your needs may be.
God's love for you...  
You'll begin to see!

Jesus is waiting for you
to all on his name.
It was for YOU that to earth he came.

Won’t you spend time with him?
You don’t need an appointment!
He wants to meet your needs!
This very moment!

Allow HIM to remove all
of your worry and fear.
He is with you!
Ever so near!!!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Couplet | |

Those Thoughts (extended version)

Nightmares, shame, and despair---
You don't go anywhere.
All alone in your mind
even with someone by your side.

You think, "Why can't everyone just leave me alone?"
You thought the hint would be cutting off the phone.
But everyone wants you to release your cares.
The next thing you do is frown and ask, "Where?"

Stinkin' thinkin' is what your mom calls it.
Bad thoughts falling down a bottomless pit.
You wake up hoping those feelings disappear;
but, as usual they end up going nowhere.

You can't seem to get rid of the pain
and in your heart an eternal rain.
No one really knows how you feel
and you have friends that always ask, "What the deal?"

But tomorrow always comes.
Bad days for you, but good for some.
Disparaging words flow in and out of your head.
You're alive but you're living like you're dead!

They're like cobwebs in your mind
that you can't seen to bind.
The hurt is always there
which has always been your fear.

You don't see the destruction your thoughts have created.
Yet relationships were destroyed with the people you've dated.
You allowed your pain to take away time.
Your anger towards others has become the real crime.

It all boils down to that one thing in your past.
A terrible time that from your mind you've yet to cast.
The pain from the physical and spiritual rape
that rolled around in your head like an old videotape.

The abuser was like a father to you
and when it first happened there was nothing you could do.
You felt trapped like you could go nowhere.
His power over you was to instill that fear.

The "fear" is what's wrong
and you must discover another heart song.
Up to this point life hasn't been the best.
Maybe letting go of this is the next test.

There has always been someone that has loved you.
Someone who is capable of taking you through.
He's a Friend that sticks closer than a brother,
Jesus--- a Savior like no other!

If you don't give it to Him so you can thrive
you will plummet to the depths and never survive.


Details | Free verse | |

Rained Filled Clouds

Rain filled clouds are what follow me now ,
No sunshine for me these days and smiles are not aloud.
My sight is blurry now and can't listen to what you say,
It was you who has caused this and why I am feeling this way.
Hold on tightly now It has been the ride of my life ,
But somehow it slipped away like a thief in the night .
How did I not see it so plainly writen on the wall,
Never in a million years did I expect to lose it all.
But here I am standing with my back  turned away,
For I can not face the sadness you brought me this day.
Why has this happened to me and just what will I do,
Shell of a man in a life that was suppose to be spent with you.
It's over now and it's all becuase of you 
I just cant see  theres anything you can do .
 Blinded by the love  for you never a  reason to doubt,
So quickly I learned howI will be going without.
 The warmth of a love you brought to me ,
 Now I will live without what was meant to be .
You were always a a part of the world I've grown to know,
Now that your gone the sadnees in my face will forever show.
These cloudy days bring me nothing but pain,
My life forever will be only me standing in the rain.
TAC


Details | Didactic | |

Open Your Heart


Stone cold are the feelings you appear to choose to hold
Ever seeming, ever screaming, your feelings don’t go too untold

Open up your heart today
Let Christ warm your soul
Let go of frozen pain of old 
Let Him change your gaze


Stone cold is not who you are, or how you’re meant to be
You’ve drifted far from who you are, and all that He does see

Open up your heart today
Let Christ warm your soul
Let go of frozen pain of old
Let Him change your ways 

Hold Him closely to your heart; He’ll warm you to the bone
He’ll rescue you and set you free, He’ll prepare and bring you home





Details | Free verse | |

101 reasons and ways to quit

I use to quit the pain and hurting
To be normal and belong
to feel as though i understand myself
to escape
and yet its a cycle of more problems
feeding the beast of addiction
no one ever writes about the reasons to quit or how

just the pain
never the great feeling of the accomplishment of the satisfaction
of stopping
always hurry up to wait
but what about
the feeling of not lighting that cigarette
sure you cried for a fix
but you didnt cave in
and everyone patted you on the back
and you did it yourself
something no one else could
and its a mountain of achievement
thats why they call hard rock climbing
no safe footsteps
when you feel you have no real friends
and your cheating your own life
for death

101 ways to quit
101 reasons to live
101 ways to start again
it doesnt take 100
it takes 1
just one
even if you are a hippocrit to yourself at first
build on that and never give in

i may never know the pain of losing my only child
i may never know the heartache of many apples and oranges
and the pity parties masquerading as celebratory doctarates we all throw in 
addiction
but the pain of needing and wanting
of being an addict

the treasure of overcoming is something to notice
when we just say no

Just for today
for tomorrow
to get back to how it was yesterday
the person i was before everything changed and i made that mistake
eventually i will find my strength
101 reasons to save myself
101 reasons to quit this drug or addiction
when 1 is all it takes

and so what if everyday that reason changes or stays the same
so what if its selfless or selfish
its for me
i choose to be sober and no go down the road of temptation
where i know many have been led astray
and the doors ive knocked already


Details | Rhyme | |

Soar

Scream upon your frustrations,
Whip them at the door.
Once you're done, let them go,
Move on; your future soars.


Details | Free verse | |

High-Reaching Hope Leading Destructive Despair

Being Near
It is impossible to say what Feeling is Stronger
Attraction
Nervousness
Paranoia
Or just wanting to wrap thou in an embrace for all the comfort that wants to be shown unto thee

This meager attraction that has sprouted dwindles by what you see in another
This case seems to be always present throughout these experiences
A sheer passing of Anxiety courses through when near this conduit of feeling
Of course, even at the Genesis of these feelings it was known what they were
Now, it just grows and threatens to burst at the seams

Ever expanding with every passing memory,
Every possible moment that could take place between the two
Every Glance in this dangerous direction

The Memories
How they haunt and stretch the Hopeful side
Leading to a fantasy that cannot take root in reality
Even if the seed has been planted
The Watering will never occur by both
In the same degree,

The Paranoia is perhaps a more pressing matter
Leaving this dreamer to wonder if their feelings are right in their place
Or just a calamity that is sure to follow these rushing tides of sensations
When your eyes are averted in a more hopeful and dreamy direction
When a more realistic approach is so near

Alas, I find myself in a pattern
Something that has become most vexing
This newfound desire seems much more realistic than the last few
Although, saying that fuels a Hope that should not have, perhaps, ever been allowed to be conceived
However,
With the progression of things these past few moons
That possibility of Hope growing is Becoming More
And More
Inevitable
With it, comes an even greater chance of Despair
That has ever been known 
By this poor stricken soul...



Constructive Criticism is welcomed for this, as well as suggestions that might want to be made.
Please and thank you!(:


Details | I do not know? | |

Anger

Anger why do you take over my body so? Why do you rush my veins and take all sense with it? Why do you make me scream out in frustration?! I am so sick of you! I need to change! Cause I can't change what's making me feel this way...


Details | Rhyme | |

Who Will Share My Pain

Who will be my friend, no one really understands
this poem is just a device, from which my broken heart stems
with these words I now articulate, does my soul seek to take cover
looking for a real friend to have, willing to share the pain of another

Perhaps you too, having been made numb dealing with your concerns
subconsciously focused on healing your own pain, before it burns
then how can I earnestly ask of you, thinking I would be able to find 
someone with the ability to help, maybe I myself am just blind
One who is a prisoner, is not free, nor himself in a position 
he's trapped in that continuum, caused by his own condition
so I cry out in the only way I know how, this now my mission
hoping to be shown some light, these feelings need definition

Maybe I am delusional, not wishing to accept the fact
that there does not exists a friend, I could ever attract
then what prosperity awaits me, what are my hopes really worth 
perhaps the truth I will find, when I am resting deep in the earth

How I must be a paradox, bold and yet full of contrition
thinking long and hard, I nevertheless came to this decision
yes I said what I have to say, but I know this pain is not my own
many of you reading this, whether you'll admit it, you too are alone 

An answer exists, but only the strong willed can discern
the weakness of the human ego, how easy for it to spurn
come off your high horse, for many it is too late
they lack the courage, that independent mind to concentrate

When all is said and done, loneliness of spirit is not exclusively mine
In a nutshell, you dear reader, let this be for a sign
the next time you feel on top of the world, things could not be better
count the days that go by, before you too will be writing this same letter


Details | Free verse | |

Once Here Now Dead

Once here
Now dead & gone
“What am I known for, this time round?”
I exist only as a memory now
A memory that fades, over time
“Who will remember me, when I am gone?”

No one knew me
Yet people will say they knew me, so well!
A laugh, how often people think “they are experts”
Yet, really
Know nothing at all!

“How well did you know the inside of me?”
For, if I was to ask...
“What is my favourite colour?”
Or, “what’s my favourite song?”
I listen for answers...none come

“What’s my favourite food to eat?”
Complete silence...
I could hear a pin drop
Round...about...now!
“Do these questions fall upon deaf ears?”
For I ask...

“Who truly knew me?”
“What am I known for?”
“Who will remember me?”
When I am dead & gone


Details | Rhyme | |

A New Tune for the Weary

It takes a wearied man to sing a wearied song
It takes a man troubled by things that have gone wrong
It takes a man afraid that life has passed him by
It takes a man whose anguished soul within him cries.  

It takes a man who dares believe there is still hope
It takes a man who tries again when the answer is nope
It takes a man whose failures still silently scream
It takes a man, who though crippled, knows how to dream.

It takes a man broken and ashamed with dismay
It takes a man with vision for a better day
It takes a man who in defeat still shows his face
It takes a man who will hum a new song of grace. 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Curse

Here I am searching for a verse,
Something that feels my curse.
My heart numbs, cuts and seizes my attention,
My mind distracts, doses off and feels no affection.

Many famous had this curse,
One expressed it quite terse.
Few carefully chosen words he always selected,
As his face and body always seemed defected.

Curious to know the famous one,
One of antiquity's dejected son?
He is my brother that I learned about in school,
You know him too unless you are a complete fool.

He was tall and gainly,
His wife a bit insanely.
'Cause of his depression he sometimes took to drinkin',
Couldn't you tell that I was talking about Lincoln?


Details | Haiku | |

FLESHY HEART

                                                       fleshy heart
                                                 feelings rise there in
                                                       mind informs

                                                      sense of pain 
                                                   pain love act react
                                                       face depicts


Details | I do not know? | |

Prisoners

There is a box inside my head, pushed right back , far away,
And my thoughts they tiptoe round it, as quiet as they may –
Just in case the lock is broken and the casket springs wide open,
And the strangling, dark, slithery contents cascade upon the floor,
And the horrors that lurk within rise and drown my thoughts out with a roar.

For the box is home to all my deepest loathsome shame,
The malformed, grinning, spiteful thoughts, crawling along half-lame,
Who converge and box me into a corner, and wail and clamour like a mourner
And beat me half to death with the awful things I’ve said and done,
And won’t even leave when dawn is nigh – they just eclipse the sun.

They pull back my sleeves to show the scars carved into my skin,
Remind me how I’m prone to neglecting all my kith and kin,
And how I became an empty husk and how, from morning until dusk,
I lay and wept for hours and hours, never quite knowing why,
And they whisper softly, sweetly, they won’t leave before I die.

Eventually, I find the strength to throw them back where they belong,
Into the dark, into the abyss, and I scream that they’re all wrong.
At last the torture session is done, and I can step out into the sun,
Let its gentle warmth soothe my latest battle aches and pains.
But even as I do so – always – the locked box rattles at its chains.


Details | Lyric | |

The Book of You

I see you, more than you understand
Your heart, your soul, its like the perfect book

Your heart it beats and yet you do not live
Why do you resign yourself to such a fate,
A fate, an attempt at life that is such a waste

I know in your heart you wish things where different
Wish the past had not happened, 
Wished that your heart did not ache so much

This wish is futile, to wish your heart away is to hide
Do not hide from what enriches your life
You will forever remember this
Learn from these pages in your book 

Yet that crippling pain is likely the purest emotion you have felt
I am here staring into you, reading you

I see your soul for what it is,
It is struggling to restore your shattered heart
Your greatest weakness is your fear

You fear for what can be, for the next pain
So many times you have been shattered
Many times broken and defeated

But you must learn to fight back
Learning that pain is only the beginning is the only way

Without this I doubt your heart or your soul will survive
Survive the apocalypse of your life, fate has not ended it
This is after all just the beginning of your future

I beg you to continue your life,
I yearn to read into your heart, mind and soul more

Please forgive my selfishness but I need you to continue
The waste of your heart is too much
The waste of a soul like yours is a shame

I will pass you the string for which to sew your heart
I will pass you each piece, each shard of your soul
Allow yourself time to heal,
The process is only as slow as you make it

Demand your heart to listen to your mind
Falling back into the pit of despair is truly mad
If you allow yourself to fall within its inky depths
Then forever will its dark tentacles enwrap your heart

You have felt the pain now, felt it keenly
Do not fall into vengeance, it is seductive, it is sweet
But it is a short reprieve from the darkness

Take heart, the good die young is what we're told
The better die last.
The best live eternal in their love, for true love is eternal
That love will forever last in another’s hear.

Do not give in to pain,
Do not give in to hate,
Give in to your recovery.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Peace of Wisdom

This is a short poem about Cause and Effect. The value of Peace is Existence.


Peace and serenity, and the waves of the sea
the dreams of happiness that would never flee
both the sun and moon, burning ever so bright
all the worries in the world, they all take flight 

Music raises my hope, dulling the pain I endure
driving my depression away, noise with a cure
a body shakes with rhythm, as joy takes control 
my lips then move, to words uttered by my soul

A soul clings to You, who fashioned me that day
You alone gave me life, and to You alone I pray
remove this evil among us, and open our eyes
to pursue wisdom, while shielding us from lies

Your balanced world, putting Man at its very center
to withstand life's tests, he needs a devoted mentor
hoping we choose wisely, your wisdom over desire
to avoid that terrible fate, ending with pain and fire

Acquiring a wisdom to distinguish between right and wrong
having patience for others, although different, we all belong
mankind, formed from earth, has a divine eternal obligation 
finding peace in wisdom, life exists only through cooperation

The Creator of heaven, of earth, and of all living things
acknowledging our shortcomings, we don't have wings
kindness is your sword, and Truth, the only seal you use
peace as the foundation, and each other never to abuse

As those bright Heavenly lights flicker, earthly bulbs prepare to go out
directing a new existence to begin, a renewed world is about to sprout
much work remains in tending to the garden, our hearts need attention
all that's left is to open our eyes, needing to make that final connection


Details | Lyric | |

The Sixes and Sevens Veil

All of those words and emotions Are tired of lingering in my throat and Mind I want to caress them onto you But how can I? Anon. there might be a time in our days I want to tell you-- I'm worthless, Broken, Diedre, Torned, Discarded, Abuse The past shouldn't control the present but it lingers in my spirit The words need to come out The Darkness with Them What if the truth couldn't set me free, save me from this candled day Underneath the Grove lies something dark, haunted, and confused Hidden in Life aren't we all abused Why can't Eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil I can't discard the decay But I'm still entrouved by the past days why can't eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil Shrouded against our will too scared to show our bare Vulnerable Shadowself It was the ignorance's bliss that caught you The Knowledge creates a burden Too Difficult to Maintain or was it I? trying to be part of your soul The Decay of Your Heart Sadness can be cured by a few words Despair is a disease of the Knife The Eclipse stole the Sun's Sinlight Underneath the Grove lies something dark, haunted, and confused Hidden in Life aren't we all abused Why can't Eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil I can't discard the decay But I'm still entrouved by the past days why can't eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil You can to try to condemn the pain Inside But only I can feel the Decay of my heart I know the quill is better than the razor But only I can feel the Decay of my heart Remember your eyes are hazed by bias lies But only I can feel the Decay of my heart Underneath the Grove lies something dark, haunted, and confused Hidden in Life aren't we all abused Why can't Eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil I can't discard the decay But I'm still entrouved by the past days why can't eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil You can to try to condemn the pain Inside But only I can feel the Decay of my heart I know the quill is better than the razor But only I can feel the Decay of my heart Remember your eyes are hazed by bias lies But only I can feel the Decay of my heart


Details | Free verse | |

Rose Patch Hands

Shall I plant a rose patch to explain your scars
So the world may never know how you treat your beauty?

Shall I hide the blades that oblige your compulsion
To shave away the flesh that burdens you so?

Shall I distract you with gold and glitter
And pull your eyes away from those scarlet stains?
 
Shall I bind you with thornless rose stems
If not for pleasure, then for a moment of peace?

Shall I pull down my plaques and papers
So that I might trade them for your undivided affection?

Shall I salve in scripture and pray to the wind
That this apparent affliction may wander from you?

Shall I mire in melancholia, and exchange my hope
As a sacrificial lamb to ransom your amour-propre? 

Shall I remove myself so that I may no longer prod
Your beauty to suffer the lies that only your eyes see in the mirror?

Shall I plant a rose patch to explain your scars
So the world may never know how you treat your beauty?


Details | Free verse | |

Catch my fall

Catch my fall,
spring your palms 
before I hit 

catch my memories
soaring from
my pockets

the edge is drenched
with ice 

the past is not real,
letters just tucked
in your dressor 

break your back
as you catch my fall;
we'll lay cripled, 
drinking to the sun

sturdy feet I dont
envy.
too monotone 
too plain 

there is no chance in a 
steady walk

slam the gas,
run on the ice 
looking beyond the 
edge 

catch my fall as I 
cannot surpress 

coffee,work,gas,
dinner,coffee, stress

scream
"let me the **** out of this
snow globe"

bite and claw at the glass.

catch me as my 
fall is slowly getting
vast


Details | Couplet | |

The Best I Can

You may cross the valley with its fields so fresh and green
Or go across the mountains that seem as there a dream

You can scale the ridges that run up and down the coast
Cross the seas that have collected their own share of ghost

No matter where you go or what ever you may see
You’ll never meet another soul that has two sides like me

On one side is the past on the other is the now
As I see it most of it doesn’t even matter anyhow

Life is but a roller coaster spinning up and down
One day we wear a smile the next may be a frown

One day we feel young and strong the next all worn out
A day in time creates a rhyme is this what I’m all about

I’m all alone in my home this window is my best friend
It is all in this life that lets the outside world come in

I don’t really go out too much I’m afraid of what I may do
So I sit here and live my life like the little old lady in the shoe

The pain and doubt wear me out weighing heavy on my soul
As I wonder would it be best if death just came and took its toll

Then I see my beautiful wife in her car coming down our road
I remember the reason I’m here is to help her with her load

It’s just another day I’m here to say, sitting here in my chair
I guess the old saying is true; “no one said life would be fair” 

If it were fair I reckon my ashes would be resting in some Urn
But I guess its up to God who picks when it will be our turn

If pain is gain then I’m insane, I’m in a grip of pain every single day
The fact of the matter is I’m in pain, each and every step of the way

But its all ok I’m here to say for I am still on a spiritual path
You don’t really have to be a genius to learn and do the math

One plus one equals two, and my darling that would be me and you
For the things you say and do, know my heart and love are forever true

When we met I was shake & bake always take, flying upon a distant star
Mess with me and very soon you’ll see, inside the trunk of my car

Now I’m give and love holding Christ above, just trying to be a man
Some days are good and others bad but know I’m doing the best I can

When I write it out you can have no doubt, it’s out of my control
Sometimes the words pour out of my heart and other times my soul

All we are is the things we do so I wrote this poem proud and true
The reason I do what I do ; I reckon I love each and every one of you


Details | Free verse | |

What I've Become

head down, lost in time, hunched back
a punching bag sags and won't punch back
the pressure inverts compressing the sand within
stop in your tracks with the flash of the camera lens
trapped in a task fully canvasing
a spot unreachable by an ambulance
dangerous to fight the elements that made you sick
with pain you live the flaring wound gave you this
save you kid but it's only you that may do this
wade through risk and promise it won't make you quit
but at the time you truely focus in
you'll realize happiness is hopless man
cause you've worked so hard to reach the lowest place
now known as the lonely man who won't show his face
the man kept close afraid of any open space
the man showing courage that you know is fake


Details | Rhyme | |

Writer's Delight (My Delight)

I write to take the pain away
Releasing heartache
Not allowing it to meditate
Not allowing it to penetrate
Triggering unwanted emotions
That create the notions
That cause me to hate
Or hold malice
Malicious thoughts taint the soul
Tamper the spirit
So I write my pain down
For the world to read
Never to hear it
Writing is my weapon of choice
Shooting words and rhythms
This is what I choose to do
Rather than shooting with a nine-millimeter
 Or a twenty-two
Writing
To evoke contentment
To contrast some of the hard feelings
Given by the life
That so rarely satisfies
Allowing the pain to slowly die
Line by line
Word by word
Nouns and verbs
Which show action
The act of my passion
Causing a distraction
To everything that has upset
And beset me
To pause and redirect me
Letting go 
Starting anew 
To introduce the world to my view
What I see
My sight
This is my writer’s delight


Details | Rhyme | |

Turning Hope Into Happiness

To find equanimity in a barren world, this is all I ever sought
struggling with these two emotions, I've always fallen short
happiness and sadness are life's struggles, challenging the very best
but the power to control these two forces, only in you does it rest 

Trying to cope with sadness, and the fears you wear
always forced to conceal, those scars you bare
your smiles and forgetfulness, an attempt to escape
contours of pain mapped your heart, you'll never reshape

Feeling like a trapped animal, with no where to hide
tears of loneliness, solitude, are what echoes inside
you seek for a glimmer, any happiness to behold
without it, your life, long ago would you have sold

Then you receive, an email from a friend
this hope renews, your heart may yet mend
demeanor now changes, giving you new meaning for life
sadness has been temporarily cut, as with a sharp knife

As time passes, soon enough your pain does return
and with this passing day, tears again that burn
so once again you're stuck, a new device you seek
to remove this unpleasantness, feelings so bleak

Never ending cycles of discontent, this your daily chore
getting a handle to deal with it, or at least to ignore
a new sun will rise this day, from beyond that far shore
and with it a new happiness, may once again come to fore


Details | Free verse | |

Written around age 30

Written around age 30

I will share in man's common oblivion
and seek peace in my heart o'er peace on earth.
I will carefully and deliberately taste
all the food I eat, enjoy my daily bowel movement,
bathe often, and whistle off-key as I please.

I will value every moment of friendship
like sparkling diamonds on a necklace, and
let their pain beat on me like my own.

I will try to love women better,
feel their pain more but fear them less
as their thighs and breasts and bottoms
run wildly through my mind like
unruly children in an orphanage of desire.

I will try to breathe better,
fill my lungs with the spirit of life, and 
learn more patience with incorrigible death.
the unseen god whose kiss touches all. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Understanding

Now I know what my life was worth
like debris to be cast upon the earth
but you oh Father do lift me up
and gave to me your chalice and cup
 
The Word of the Kingdom we must spread
so that those you call may be led
in that they find your loving true
to serve in your temple a creation new
 
The path of this system will leave behind
where walk they among habitation blind
only with you can true love find
changed within both heart and mind
 
Those who with pain do us sting
we pray for them to kindness bring
to love not just those Christs others
but all mankind who are our brothers
 
Cast me not away when I make mistake
to the pain and affliction of heartbreak
with understanding and wisdom do lead
because for your love I am in need
 
I thank you for the King of Peace
from the heartbreak of world do you release
Many will never see the gifts you send
or those whose love will help hearts mend
 
To yourself you collect those spirits broken
who recognize the words you have spoken
you lead them as sheep though out the land
to those who want to understand
 
sources Psalms Proverbs and the Gospels
 
COPYRIGHT © 2009 C Michael Miller
via Duboff Law Group LLC


Details | I do not know? | |

Night

night falls
wounded by the days' plight

night consumes
all the hopeful fractured splinters of light

night recedes
into its desolate lair

night extinguishes
the roaring furnace of despair

night hides
from a bubbling desire reaching out to feel

night flees
leaving the jilted to bow down and kneel

night soars
breaking the chains of isolation

night rots
in the cellars of time's vacuum of desolation

night devours
the travails of the day that has past

night mends
the wounds that once were doomed to last

night returns 
faithfully as the day must retire

night settles
the doomed voices that mutter and conspire
night consoles
the weary mind and the restless heart so torn
night placates
knowing that night itself is darkest just before a new dawn

so

night freezes
all snapshots of the passing day

as

night embraces
the new while the old simply fades away


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

For Leerie and Illy

Oh my dear Leerie and Illy
My sisters you are not so silly.
Yes I have endured such pain
A lot that my tears fall like rain.

Yes this pain is way too deep.
In my soul it has surely seep.
Yes on my face you see a smile
But inside I still feel quite vile.

The twinkle has left my eye
Has seen better days gone by.
I do believe I am on the path to mending.
Make no mistake, the pain is never ending.

Yes some days I surely do want to die,
But I am still here and I wonder why?
However life has taken me in a new direction.
I have spent way to much time in this reflection.

So I will hold this head up high
I will look up into the sky
I will forever of my kids be proud.
My love for them will never be not allowed.

Thank you my sisters two
I do know I can count on you.
Just do know I do not want to burden
Especially when I know you are also hurtin'

Lord only knows why I am still here
I sure thought I would disappear
But one day I will surely see
Why all this was and is allowed to be.

I do know I have you two
I can call when I feel so blue.
Thank you for what you had to say
There is nothing that can ever repay.

I will do better on my part
To show  that you are in my heart
Forgive me my moments when I am sad
For sometimes they need to be had.

I have great sisters I do!
I do so love you  two.
Thank you Illy and Leerie
Who is not so Dreary!


Details | Rhyme | |

Loves Destiny

There is a pain which swallows me whole
a love which I cherished but no longer has a soul
a deep cry to feel anothers trust
a love which I need but no lips to touch
how long must I quest lifes journey as one.
Past memories visit and once again I've died
Times of yesterday I've learned I can't run and hide
the sadness within my eyes and the smile for a disguise
I must break this chain, I must stop this self inflicting pain 
I challenge me to be free, to take the hands of a gestured smile.
I challenge me to set an idea free
I challenge me to take charge of a destiny
create what is yet to be


Details | I do not know? | |

Closed Doors

Thought is a disorder an inheritance from the pain that's gone before
Close the door to though and you will feel pain no more

The silence that I feel is above the conjured image and the self will
I have found peace and calm at last and the beauty and love I thought was lost

Hush now you memory that dares to break this bliss 
Like a snake it slithers in my mind with its ever present hiss


Details | Free verse | |

Abusive Love

Cold case lover, how I loved you so!
You always mattered
But, you never believed me!
You were my every desire
You were everything to me!
Looking through your eyes
Jaded with jealousy and envy
You laid your hands upon me
Acting out your emotional
And bitter pain
“Why were you so mean spirited?"
“Who messed with your mind?"
How can you kneel before me, now
Pleading me to forgive you
As, you bawl your eyes out

Your relentless begging
Over and over
You keep playing mind games, with me!
Begging me, for mercy
To come back,
One, last, time...

With my swollen eyes
Broken bones
Twisted up, insides
My heart is torn!
“Are you a dead man walking?"
“Do you not ‘feel’ no more”?
Will I get to see tomorrow’s sunrise
If, I stay another day with you...

Playing Russian roulette with my life
I am terrified, I am petrified!
My eyes are blind
My heart too forgiving!
But, I am not leaving.

“Will I become a cold case murder, one day?"
I wonder...
At the hands, of my own stupidity!
“What will you do on that day, dear lover?"
“Will you lie and be deceitful?"
“Will you hide things?"
Just like, you did from me!

Will, you ‘vow’ devotedly
You did it all in the name of ‘Love?'
Will you brag about
Your ‘bitter, sweet victory?
Open wounds
Bleeding soul
Release me free
From this man’s betrayal!


Details | Free verse | |

Forbidden Love

You tear at my heart every day.
How can I bear the pain?
The pain of hoping,
The pain of regret,
The pain of shame...
Please release from your grip.
Nothing can come of this.
Nothing but lies and heartache,
Lonely nights and insincerity.
How I long for you to really love me,
Yet I dread the day
When you realize how I feel.
What have you done to me?
I didn't want this.
When I look into the chaotic serenity 
Of your eyes,
And see the turmoil of your life,
Why do I ache with longing
When I should just walk away?


Details | Free verse | |

The Heart Rendered Silent

The heart was rendered silent
Buried and freshly cut
By the nuance of the moment
I was destroyed as the space closed shut
The pain of disarray
As my emotions I did disobey
Buried in the silence of indifference to myself

The pain, the pain of this mental closure
Gates were closed as the “saviour of the world” I tried to shoulder
Every ache and every need
Of those that were dealt life’s misdeeds
But where was I, where was I
In this painful mess
Here I am pained and bloodied by my own distress

Silent closure equals physical pain
As the body repels with disdain
Release me or I will foreclose on you
You have a choice to yourself
You have a choice to be true

Release your heart, release your pain
Allow yourself to exist on this earthly plain
Recognise yourself in this quagmire
It is not necessary to doom yourself to the flames of the funeral fire

Alive, alive, I am alive
My voice shouts out to my own ears
Who is this voice, who can it be
I truly thought I had buried she
She that resides within my heart
All I had to do was open my inner eye and allow fear to depart….


Details | Free verse | |

Gods Christmas Gift

It was one of those times; one of those sincere discussions;
She told me about my fathers words to her when he was on his death bed.
What he asked her may seem funny to some;
What he asked her was to make sure I had a warm jacket and shoes every winter.
At the time I was already in my forties but I guess it didn’t matter to him.

Then we talked about the time we walked in to his hospital room;
My father immediately said he was confused.
I asked him “Dad do you know who I am”?
He said yes I do but why are you so old and she’s so young;
He was pointing at my wife Susan; but I knew it wasn’t her he saw.

He was seeing my mother long passed; here’s the thing about that;
I saw that my wife had the same spirit as my mother years before.
We all believe my mother was there to take him and who better to use as a catalyst.
I never had a chance to see my mother but I know her; she lives in me and is part of me.
I couldn’t see her right then but I could feel her and I could see Susan too.

As we talked we both had tears in our eyes and I think we were both a bit overwhelmed;
I could see how lifetime experiences can never be forgotten or dismissed.
So I asked her why she betrayed me like she did;
And that I could maybe forgive her if I could just understand why.
When she spoke I heard truth and I finally understood why.

So I forgave her and accepted the circumstances and the part I played in it all;
To what end remains to be seen but the pain seems to have been lifted from me.
As we broke the conversation off I began to reflect on the entire topic;
There were no definitive conclusions but what I did feel was;
My Father and my Mother had come to see me for Christmas.

Call me crazy, tell me it’s wishful thinking; even say I’m delusional;
I saw it, I heard it and I felt it; it happened and I won’t be denied.
I learned to be a real man from the pain I suffered;
My ego and sex no longer dominate or motivate my relationships;
And God in his mercy gave me the best Christmas ever


Details | Free verse | |

Who is to Blame


To blame or not to blame my mother for scars that won't heal, for life's every tear, for pain endured, whether inflicted by others or myself. To blame or not to blame my mother for my mistakes or for obstacles placed in my path, for heart break and heart ache, loss of love. I have climbed mountains to find waiting on the otherside an awe-inspiring sunrise streaming through the clouds. I have walked through dark valleys in fear only to discover the splendor of the brightest stars in the night sky. I am amazed by the strength received from a moment of weakness, the peace from fear, the satisfaction felt after the struggle. I have taken the wrong path then later, found the right one...the narrow one. No, I will not blame but thank my mom for the mountains, valleys, obstacles and pain endured I will thank her for the ability to overcome, to persevere, to understand the fine line between a curse and a blessing for love, hope, faith My mom has taught me survival. She is a survivor. When today is a challenge, I look up and know where my help comes from. I believe in me, I believe in tomorrow, Thanks to my mother. April 3, 2012 for Blame it on the Rain Contest (Black Eyed Susan)


Details | Free verse | |

The Visit

11:21 PM 9/27/01                         The Visit

I sit in splendor amongst the sun
Of an afternoon sky

Surrounded
I look below to see the stones
Skyward proud they stand

Some I know, most imagined
All the quieter now

Deer travel the fringes here
Off to the East a bit
Never to offend these resting souls
Passersby in life

In a moment of silence I sit......
Remembering 
How precious life can be

How voices no longer heard
Can resound within the soul
Lighten the sky in brilliance
Form clouds in shapes of love

Me in the afternoon sun
And you in my beating heart

A reflection of the day










Details | Epic | |

Shame

Long before the ships came sailing. Living here was the first nation. They sat within the circle. Inside dreams and sacred visions. At peace with mother nature. Earth, the moon and sun. They hunted what they needed. Then asked the beasts forgiveness. Many moons have come and gone. And the buffalo are few. In the valley of dead warriors. They ever weep sad tears. The white man came with lies. And his shallow little dreams. He stole away their future. Inside pain and degradation. We must ever walk in shame. From the pain ancestors cause. By the greed within sad lies. That destroys a nations people.


Details | Free verse | |

Dew Drops

In the silhouette of the dewing early morning--
the tears of the mother, the tears of nature
grow before the rise of the sun.
They are everywhere growing from the pain of yesterday,
growing in the darkness of morn.
These tears, they are sticking to everything, 
sticking from the unseen filth that has snuck up on reality.
This filth only to be realized once bound with the pain of the mother,
bound with these tears of nature.
And yet, everyday, it's always the same.
The heat of the sun rises above, 
with a feeling of confused tranquility-- 
and these tears,
well these tears just dry up, you see,
leaving us with the filth of yesterday.


Details | Rhyme | |

star falling down, star on the ground

It's just a feeling,
that is within me,
its like I'm stealing,
a thing that can't be,
the paint is peeling,
you see what I see,
it is revealing,
this thing that can't be.

The motion of the ocean,
is the love that you make,
you might need some lotion,
when your skin starts to break,
you might need a potion,
or some pills you can take,
because your deepest devotion,
is what is at stake.

When you lose the feeling,
you tremble and quake,
you consider stealing,
your will starts to break,
the pain is revealing,
more than you can take,
to begin the healing,
you make as you fake.

It was just a feeling,
you took it too far,
you stare at the ceiling,
you sit at the bar,
your skin it is peeling, 
you wish on a star,
the pain is revealing,
its all that you are.


Details | Tanka | |

The Mirror

My pain does not show
I bury it far too deep
the pain in my soul
I hide away from myself
then the mirror shows my eyes


Details | Lyric | |

Choice

I live with the ghost of the promises we broke
And the fear of the pain and regret
I wonder at times if the words we once ryhmed
Are words I'm supposed to forget

You live with the pain of anger in vain
And fear that I'll give up or give in
I'm offering to make up for the pain
But you have to give me a chance again

Inside the confusion lies the answers you need
And until you make up your mind
The love of the past won't let you be free
And the love now is making you blind

Run away, walk away, turn around, stay
But do something that gives you a voice
Don't let others make decisions for you
That should be only your choice

So I wait, and you struggle inside of yourself
Knowing the truth of where your dreams lie
A heart in your hands and one on the shelf
Which will continue or die with goodbye?

So I live with the ghost of the promises we broke
And the fear of the pain and regret
But I remember those times when the words did rhyme
And I know I can never forget


Details | Sonnet | |

Honest Introspection

I sought more than I could ever attain 
In a long, foolish quest destined to fail.
A passage to a world where storm clouds reign
And in every corner a tragic tale.

Pain's royal throne in destiny's wicked clutch,
Front row seats to a future of despair
For thinking I could ever mean that much,
A foolish hope in an endless nightmare.

Just a sad puppet on a lonely string,
Forever trapped in a sadist's dream,
Driven into darkness by love's painful sting,
Traveling fast, down a treacherous stream. 

Waiting here in agony for you.
Why? It's simple. It's because I love you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Creativity mourned

November 20th 2011,
betalbatim beach.
By Sashi Prabhu(zeauoxian).

Throttled pain and it’s come again,
All the doors kept ajar and my joys are drained.
Why it strikes me , I care to know,
The peace is gone and the pain seems to grow.

The druid churns the magic potion,
More gains are his only notion.
But men and women to take along,
Is not his goal and he’s so wrong.

Power blinds his wretched mind,
Oh! His deeds put all to the grind.
Dying creative powers they soak to grounds ,
Of the hallways, whose gonna turn it around.


People cry their minds a whisper,
All time idly spent in repent.
Passion dies yet another death each day,
And things not achieved all kept at bay.

Winds of change come sweeping across the globe,
The soothsayer swings his wand & depths he probe.
A new brotherhood of people he plans to build ,
 Trusts he those who’s desires are unfulfilled.

Two years back,in  November, at the nerve centre,
20 monks indicated to the leading lights along with their mentor,
The way ahead after spells of erudition under learned teachers,
A blind eye they turned then, today they all chant like preachers.


My plea to them is to let go of ego and come together,
As forces across the globe are down in the slump in all weather.
Together all must be to tackle the dark forces that surround,
It’s creativity that will bring back from depths,to astound




To build the cult the soothsayer has begun,
The dominos must align as now nobody must be the favorite son,
Err if it has been, now there is no way on land but to move ahead,
Cause the ships in troubled waters have already fled………….


Details | Free verse | |

Memory's Echo

Memory's echo, a beautiful melody,
Heard through the winds of time. 
The hope of the past, 
Only half the truth.

Memory's echo so distant, 
Yet deafening to my heart's beat.
The pain is beyond imaginable.
Must I always be reminded..

Leaves grow, leaves die, 
And through time, the tree
Lives on without a care.
Why must the tree stand, while I fall?


Details | Light Poetry | |

Goodbye my friends

To tell you all the truth
I’m not happy in my life
And everyday goes by
It gets harder to survive

I always show a smiling face
No one knows it’s not real
But the more I pretend
The more pain I would feel

So many times I give my love
Only for it to be rejected
So put it in a corner and 
From now it will be neglected

So now I’m closing the doors
On all the people I know
This is goodbye my friends
Now its time for me to go

Please accept my apologies
Because I know some of you care
But I’m tired of being in a place
When I feel no happiness there

The ones I share my pain with
 You are my best friend
And you know my pains
And how it will never end

I can’t give up on today
Because I have to fulfill tomorrow
So this is good bye my friends
I leave you with much sorrow

I though I seen my dreams
But it was just an illusion
Now I want to sleep for ever
And try to hide in seclusion

Some times I feel I was curse 
Before I ever learn to prayer
So the girl I give my heart to
She broke it and sends me away

So I just want to say thank you
For ever in my heart you will stay
So this is good bye my friends
From the world today I walk away


Details | I do not know? | |

Mixed Feelings

What causes me grief
Is also what gives me relief...
A bog of tears is what makes me think
It has all disappeared,
My glasses fog because of the mist.

This thing is what causes my woe
Yet it has some truth
That makes me feel so happy...
It does not seem to understand me,
I try to tell what''s bottled up inside
And try to put it under a spell,

Even if I do, I''ll go through such inner pain again & again.
For without it or the other way,
My soul won''t live happily
Or won''t be able to change...

My days will always have colours,
For grey shall be in the night,
Because that is when my thoughts of thou take flight...
Oh it is my hate and love,
It is my grief and happiness,
It is both worthful
And worthless...
I can never decide
Because the pain will always reside.


Details | Rhyme | |

Flaming Truth

Looking back upon my life, 
With all it’s twists and turns
I am really quite amazed 
At all the lessons I have learned

Oh, none of them were easy
I can tell you that
There was lots of pain and heartache
And at times I got off track

I laid the blame on others
For the pain that I went through
That’s the way I saw it
And I believed it too.

But I finally saw the truth
I was the only one to blame
Any time I got burned
I had walked into the flame.

Connie Moore
1-7-1996






Details | Free verse | |

Unworthy of Your Love

That saying, “You don’t know
What you got till it’s gone.”
Is true for I understand the pain that comes with it
Though I don’t deserve
What was taken from me
I would love to be given the chance to take it back

Oh my love, this pain is like
Death itself gripping my body
I would love to take just one moment
To show you just how much, you mean to me…

Every second that passes by
Seems to me like I have
Been trapped within a never-ending hourglass
Though my thoughts are on you
My vision of you fails
As if I’ve been cursed to suffer without your love

Ah my love, please return to me
Without you, my nights are just empty
If anything, please just lie to me
And tell me that everything will be alright…

-You can say… That I’m quite foolish…
 For me to do such… a stupid thing to you…
 I know that… I’m not worthy of your love…
 But I…

I know, words are never enough to
Express how I truly feel about you
So my saying, “I love you” is useless
But I can’t just let you walk out of my life!

Ah my love, please return to me
Without you, my nights are just empty
If anything, please just lie to me
And tell me that everything will be fine now
Ah my love, these dreams of you
Are too precious to just let go of
So please forgive me and take me back
Even though I may not seem good enough for you…


Details | Free verse | |

Pathetic Life

Looking at my life as an adult
I can say that I grew up just fine
At least for the most part
But regret just seems to keep creeping up on me
The ring that I’ve envisioned in my mind
Just seems to disappear a bit each day
Simply because I’ve lost
The most important thing in my life right now

I wonder why it is that I’m still able
To move, to feel and see everything
Because pain is the only thing left here for me
At least that is how it seems now

No matter how hard that I may try
To love, all I seem to do is mess up
So why should I even continue?
My link to this world is fading
Rapidly, and I don’t know how long
That I can last here…

To even move a little bit right now
Is taking a whole lot more energy
Energy that I can say
Is energy that I frankly just don’t have right now
This terrible feeling in my heart
Is constantly stabbing at the walls
The pain from within
Is just too much for me to bare on my own

I wonder why it is that I’m still able
To move, to feel and see everything
I don’t think my heart can’t take much more of this
The thought of going on frightens me

No matter how hard that I may try
My life is just continuing to burn out
So why should I exhaust myself?
All that will be left behind from me
Are the ashes of a pathetic
Life that’s been burnt out…

No matter how hard that I may try
To love, all I seem to do is mess up
So why should I even continue?
My link to this world is fading
Rapidly, and I don’t know how long
That I can last here…
No matter how hard that I may try
My life is just continuing to burn out
So why should I exhaust myself?
Let the world look down upon this life
Pathetic! It just burns out right here
Leaving the ashes behind!


Details | Free verse | |

Writing the Pain Away

Maybe if I just write...and write...and write...
and put ALL of my thoughts and words down on paper...
 
The pain will go away...
and then I will be happy...
and content
and my head won't hurt,
and my heart won't hurt,
and I won't feel so bad anymore. 

If I just write...
and write...
and write...
and write...
and get all of these words out of my head
and off of my heart
and put them down on paper.

Maybe then I will be able to "Write the Pain Away."

 

(November 14, 2010 Wausau, Wisconsin)

(c) Copyright 2010 by Christine A Kysely, All Rights Reserved 


Details | Rhyme | |

Iron Control

Sometimes I Seem to Forget
How Valuable I Can Be.
I Let Things Drag Me down
Along with Opinions of Me.

As Long as I Have No Desire,
To Fulfill Dreams of My Own,
Then There's Nothing I Can't Do
As Long as My Needs Leave Me Alone.

I'm Glad My Own Wants Are Gone,
Now I Can Do What I Feel Is Right
I Fought with Me for Awhile
But I've Finally Won the Fight

I Buried My Selfish Streak
Way down Deep in My Soul.
And I Pray with All My Heart
That I Can Keep this Iron Control.

This Is Not the First Time
That Myself Escaped and Came Out,
Wanting and Needing Happiness,
And Taking Me on the Wrong Route.

But You Can Bet Your Last Dollar
It Won't Happen Anymore.
No One on this Earth
Will Ever Come Through My Closed Door.

Connie Moore
1 15 93


Details | Lyric | |

Path of Life

There’s nobody left that can feel the tide
As the world draws a breath and reshapes our minds
Nothing to see when we try to hide
Because nothing will be if we close our eyes

Not much to say when there’s nothing left
Now we’re talking away as the shadows set 
Where we all pretend that we have our breath
And we decide that none of us knows what’s best

There’s nobody left that can hold their path
Since the fear decided that it would last
Nothing to come if we hold what’s passed
Because nothing can grow when we’re falling back

So much to be when we turn away
Becoming much more to create the day
Where everyone knows that we must repave
The path we deceived at the sight of pain

There is only us and what we create
As the earth sings the song of its timely fate
Reflecting a message that most sedate
And creating the pain that we have of late

The circle of truth that we have deprived
From ourselves feeding pain as we bring the night
There is only us and what we decide
And waking to that is the path of life


Details | Quatrain | |

The Past

Alone, inside my wounded mind
seeking answers I must find
the past, it rears its ugly head
to keep me filled with pain and dread
always wanting me to bleed
to fill a dark and vile need.

Too many years it's kept its hold
and left me lost in dark so cold.
In desperate tones I plead and pray
I beg it "please, just go away"!
Within my weary soul I grieve
fearing it may never leave.

I've fought so hard to be set free
from pain trapped deep inside of me
with no parole, sentenced for life
with pain that cuts with razor knife.
Still to this very day I fight
to kill the dark and keep the light.

Though tears flow from this womans eyes
it's still the little girl who cries.
Again, she sings the same sad song
feeling what she feels is wrong.
Always regretting to reveal
to the world the pain I feel.


Details | Free verse | |

Life

Take the Pain and kill it,
Lay it down to sleep forever.

Give it a kiss and say God be.

Down the path of Evil’s glory,
Surpass everlasting nothing.

Die with the pain within you.

Be reborn and smile outside,
You are no longer alone.

See that you are surrounded by love.

The love that brought you sorrow,
It’s the same one that incinerated

LIFE


Details | Rhyme | |

He Speaks, The Still Small Voice

How could you abandon me, G-d.
I’ve waited for you to help,
And still my prayers go unanswered.
When my pain needed healing,
I counted on You -
To heal me,
But my pain was released by a caring mother.
When I needed a cry,
I counted on You -
To lean on,
But You weren’t there, just a caring brother.
When I needed help up when I fell,
I counted on You -
To tell me it’s alright,
But I was raised up by a loving father.
When I needed someone to talk to,
I counted on You -
To guide me the right way to go;
My best friend listened, but you didn’t bother.

Then suddenly a voice from within me spoke
A still, small voice, so quiet and beautiful:

“My Child,
I heard every word you spoke,
I never missed a prayer you wrote.
And think back to those times of need,
It’s not hard if you truly see -
I was with your caring mother;
Holding you, the caring brother;
Lifting you, the loving father;
Your best friend, I’m the one that bothered.
For I am in the one’s you love,
That see your light from up above.
My Child, you’re never on your own
I’m all around you - you’re not alone.”


Details | I do not know? | |

stuck between beeps of the heart machine

there’s a lump in my throat.
a lump of all the problems
i tried to swallow.
to hide.

There’s a pain in my stomache.
the pain of all
the problems
i tried to swallow.

There’s a shortness of breath-
inside my lungs
from the hidden lump,
and the people surrounding
closing in.

there’s a murmur in my heart
from all the things
i do regret
to have said,
and not.

there’s a hope in my head
that sometime
i’ll awake from this 
coma,
to a warm white coat,
who’ll tell me i’m better.
the one who’ll shut off
the heart machine,
and give me their beat
to help me
                along.

but right now 
visiting time’s over,
and all i have to talk to
is the respirator.


Details | Light Poetry | |

One thing in common

One thing in common


There are different factions
In every nation
Fighting wars to get a reaction
 Only bringing us pain and dissatisfaction

No one cares about the children
Who they claim to be fighting for
And nobody wants to talk about it
So peace can thru the door

 And the only thing they have in common
Some of them like the same songs
So I got an idea to try to stop the fighting
If I can get them all to do sing along

In the name of the john~ let’s give peace a chance
In the name of George ~ we can work it out
In the name Paul ~ let's live together in harmony
In the name of ring ~ put down the guns lets twist and shout

So many different religions
But there’s only one god
And each wants the other 
To die by the sword

And all claim to be working for the lord
But how can you go to heaven
God can pick out the false prophets
And all the blasphemes hadean

How many children must die?
For they to begin to care
How many mothers must cry?
In pain and despair


But if they really love the children
Then I come up with a plan
To break down in sections 
So they all can understand

In the name of Jesus ~ let the children go
In the name of Muhammad ~ set the children free
In the name of Rama ~ let the children grow
In the name of Krishna ~ let the children be

Let’s see what happens 
Only the future can tell
Bet many who say they work for god
Surely will end up in hell

It’s funny how man can go to the moon
In ships of metal fuel,and glass
And right here on earth
They can make peace last


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Seventy1

Seventy1
CharlaXPFable
CharlaXFables
A Rose by any other namme shall smell as sweet to mee as ewe.
Jesus paid the sacrifice the aritifice of life became the death of me to give me 
back the life eye gave away for him to follow him is to find it all again the words 
men speak if allowed to brew would make them dead to make them blow to just 
explode the air then turning into chamber pots of full. Love can be a sacrifice a 
very strang surprise a hurried meal a quick repast that lasts all day and then 
some into the night making merry just for heart. The dead weight of most people 
would cause the air ship the alien crafted vessel that eye ride in to tip over and 
the eye would fall out all over the place. Love can be a pillow cold on one side 
and warm to face. The avid reader can imagine this. Head stopped up with 
saving grace the pain inside stops sleep from come.
Then the pillow turned the face pressed up into the cold the wonderful stopping 
of the pain the added comfort of the pillow side out getting cold again then 
comes the time when the repeated effort is again applied oh the wonder of it oh 
the bliss of a cold pillow kiss. NEWS FLASHED before mye eye:
This is just in from NEO Pueblo when someone gets a message in a forum and 
the message sender sends it as a thank you and then adds a different picture 
than the one in his posted poem as way of illustration do ewe think they noticed it 
at all or is it just that it seems so strang to mee and would it be that they aer so 
obsessed with what they aer doing to jump up and dance on just one foot and 
yell and holler look what CHARLAX did he sent the wrong picture to the forum. 
Eye just deleted an accounting error it was a majoretted disappointed mess to 
me they always made fun of eye and mee and the way eye use my style to make 
a poem bleed the pain of being one so far ahead of time is priceless in the 
function of an android using lifetimes.


Details | Light Poetry | |

REJECTION

Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow but an easier path to to follow dowm a lonely 
dark road. A road that the heart did not deserve, a heart that would easily serve  to 
every curve, groove or bump in the road. The bump in the road can build but 
instead it killed the burden beast.

The burden beast has gone east in search for some ease. Ease please,the this 
aching heart of mine. Relieve this pain and soothe the tormented mind.

Rejection is not the path that is not the less traveled ; but a road that many will 
travel, a road that will be travel again and again.

Will this pain ever end and will I ever win on th a road less traveled?


Details | I do not know? | |

For Your Viewing Pleasure

For your viewing pleasure I'd like to bare my soul.
I feel compelled to tell you all just why I don't feel whole.

Life's like a twisted game where nobody can win.
The rules are all forgotten and nothing is a sin.

For your viewing pleasure I'd like to sit and cry.
You'll see the pain I'm feeling but you'll never ask me why.

You're watching my destruction from your comfy front row seat.
You'll never have to help me... because we'll never meet.

For your viewing pleasure I must expose my fears.
I'll tell you what still torments me even after all the years.

I hope it entertains you while I trudge through all my sorrow.
Stay tuned......there's bound to be more pain lined up for me tomorrow.


Details | Rhyme | |

A WORLD OF IMAGINATION

A WORLD OF IMAGINATION
 
Shell we reside in the world of perdition ?,
or will we know life ?, after death, through attrition.
Hell is not to be Dante’s, inferno ?, 
the void ?, fires ?, the black hole we think we will go ?
Hell is the ever lasting pain we endure
as we walk alone, into the future.
Hades, created by man’s imagination.
From fear, it became his creation.
Hell is the pain - of our regret -, 
caused to others, we will never forget.
Forgiveness of one’s self, 
is the only way to put guilt upon a  shelf, 
live out one’s life, free
to walk this plane and be
as one with this universe.
As I come to the end of this verse,
we will never see beyond the veil,
for there is no one who may tell the tale
of what the future will hold,
no one who knows the tale to be told.
Time is the keeper, of all we have come to know. 
Time is the transporter, taking us to where we will go.
What ever is to be our destination ?, 
it has been of our own creation.

B. J. “ A” 2
May 26th 2012


Details | Free verse | |

Afflictions

My fury and outrage remain unabated , it seethes like magma
and spreads itself throughout my being , it is barely contained
I shield it to keep the damage within , so it does not consume me
or those I love and want not to hurt.
My dark raving hisses and steams awaiting release , with screams,
hysteria that I may not be able to save the one that becomes my
vent , the outpouring eruption of pain , that I would whip and lash
with lurid pitch that it might cloak with agony the one whom I love
upon its receipt .
Why cannot I cover it and shift my focus to that which builds and
does not tear down and ravage as I have been ravaged?
Why does not that majesty of things that stand before me
not move me to ease or peace?
Oblivion , that vast chasm that plunges deep within my 
soul ice cold heart , I wish it destroyed , but its the only thing
within that seems still alive and beating.
I wish it replaced with tenderness and warmth that it may
mark you with pleasure and not agony, clothe you with 
beauty and not the ugliness that has taken up residence
and keeps its rent.
In sackcloth and ashes I mourn the loss of innocence , not 
for myself only but for all those who suffer , and raise
not their hands against the perpetrators of their suffering.
God do not let me join in acts of perpetuation , that I strike
others in kind , in repayment for their deeds.
My life has been sacked and looted , thieves have stolen every
precious piece of personality that might make me redeemable.
Raw and naked estate exposed, my inheritance from Adam ,
I was molded in pain and forged by fire imprinted by a storm
of ire......
Oh God , why did you preserve me so that I had not died and
left me alive to cry , scream at the trials of fire that blister 
the souls of men....
Awaken oh my heart , do not sleep in the death of love , and
the reign of savage pain , and the cries of those who live in
affliction , whose cries have been silenced before you.....
My tears have become stone , my walls a castles fortress
I cannot cast aspersions it holds you as well as I,
unlike the earth my stone cannot drink in the sun
 
Job moments

COPYRIGHT © 2009 C. Michael Miller
via Duboff Law Group LLC


Details | Free verse | |

Hiding in the Crowd: Part 2

But, I think your heart is screaming out
For something else
For love
For intimacy
For acceptance
Unconditional love
Someone who will never leave your side
Even when you are sick and weary
Even when you become the monster
That you long to destroy
Someone who can see your inner beauty
Your pain and agony 
Even when that dark side of you 
Emerges and explodes
And lashes out with hatred
And love you in spite of it
Will forgive and forget
And not keep a mental record
Of mistakes you have made
Or wrongs you do at times
And who instead 
Will take you into their arms
And hold and caress you
Until the pain goes away
I think you are longing 
For someone
Who won't abuse you
In the name of protection
Abandon you
Reject you
Hurt you
Judge you
Scar you
Or use you
And who really understands the real you
Someone you can be yourself around
Who you don't have to put on an act for
Who will love you
Even after you figuratively undress for them
Exposing all of your weaknesses and flaws
Revealing to them
The man that you truly are
That you are terrified
Of anyone knowing
In fear that some part of you
Will be deemed unlovable
By someone you care for


Details | Free verse | |

Poem Of My Pain (condensed)

I stand like a rock,
Against the pain,
So they have wrought,
My family sees me now,
As only a prop,
I get treated like crap everyday,
With none by my side.
I am here in the dark,
alone with none willing to,
Comfort my heart,
I try my to gain respect,
But I am still alone,
People all over have hope,
But me nope.
I stand by myself,
Dealing with pain so deep,
It would make any normal,
person want to weep,
My emotional pain hurts so much,
I could rip out my guts,
And not feel as much as others,
Would from a paper cut.
While everyone whines,
to pass the time,
I sit next to you,
A tortured soul all have abused.
I go on while others die,
people ask why,
I know this that one day,
My love will be returned in full.
I will try my best,
To wait for that progress.
While people kill themselves,
Over a crush I try not to go,
Nuts to all I am but a thing,
There to comfort them with their needs,
none can see me,
I wear a mask just to hide and stop,
The crying. I hide my pain waiting for the one,
To come rescue me. I listen to you complain,
Then I tell you of my pain not only to help,
You but to see if you care about me,
I always set near to comfort those, that I hope,
Will not let my heart stay broke.
so far none have come to my side,
To help me in most dire of times,
I cry in front of all,
To see who cares about my fall.
I shouldn't have to beg for hugs,
I shouldn't need to plead for love,
I cry in front of all to nudge,
Those who care into the open,
None care after all,
To pry and hope is what I seek,
When I sit around and weep.
I try to hold out against hope,
But no one seems to come to,
My side now my world is,
crumbling all around,
I will weather this storm alone if I must.
smash me down all you want but,
Know this when I get up you'll be sorry,
I have stood my ground so far alone,
My hide has become diamond,
Every once in a while it may break,
But it grows back harder then before.
I stand here like I always have to keep others safe,
The pain you cause is mine to bare not theirs,
I will be merciful to you wretched beings,
Who for 19 years tortured me. I was not a fool nor,
Will I be  all of my life people hand me my,
rage to use on them at any point,
I don't because I would be,
As bad as you are but I will come up with ways to pay,
You back for the pain that has come to fall,
On my shoulders here I make my stand and refuse to budge,
My beliefs are strong enough to,
Crush even gods and death.


Details | Free verse | |

The Pain Was No More

He watched the spider crawl down his are toward his fist.
He watched, apathetical, as it sunk its fangs into his wrist.

As his wrist began swelling, the spider sailed away;
But the poison cursing through his veins was there to stay.

When his heart started to slow, he began to feel the pain.
The pain began to spread up his arm. He slumped to the floor.

His whole chest was erupting with pain when the convulsions began:
White hot needles were piercing his veins as his seizure continued.

Pain was all he was. No man, no human, no feelings--save one.
With a final convulsion, his head cracked on the floor:

The pain was no more.


Details | Free verse | |

Poem Poem

 Poem Poem 
Poem Poem 
 
Worry and fear rule most everyone's day 
how could it not come to me 
Eye was just worried that ideas would dry up 
and the poetry. 
Fishing is always impossible in a monsoon 
and drunkards sometimes miss a drink due to rain 
in the impossible day when it floods. 
Leaning on people and giving is tough 
leaning on money to have everyday 
to make purchases of wine and more beer 
can be hard in the rain. 
Yearning for someone feeling no pain 
yearning for love in the rain 
dying but living inside where she dwells 
the love is so real eye can feel her so well 
she is love deep inside me where no pain can reach 
the insulation of ewe the insurance of she. 
Turning away from the world in my sleep 
reaching for her she is love she is me. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Comfort

A child weeps, but there are no shrieks, only muffled, shallow breaths   
Pain distorts her face, 
Eyes tightly closed, shielding her from further discomfort
Tears flow freely down the soft, pink cheeks, and disappear  
She speaks but her words are not understood, they are not recognized
Quietly she suffers, as she cannot reveal the source of her pain
The pain is now her companion.
Is there no hope?  No end to the pain?

She senses a presence, a scent
Instinctively she turns, knowing that soon, if only for a moment, she will feel safe
Strong, soft hands, wipe her tears
The gentle caress reassures her, easing her pain

Her face rests against the muscular shoulder, but her weeping continues
A giant hand stretches across her back as fingers adroitly caress and hypnotize her,
Warm, moist lips lovingly touch her, 
She senses a heartbeat; the warmth and safety of love surround her 
Her companion agonizes,
As the child’s safety is now her misery

The companion reaches deep within her, forging agony and despair
She trembles with pain, 
A pain so deep seeming to have no end
A loud shrill pierces the air, and her hands move upward grasping for relief, 
Trying to ease the pain, 
In vain she tries, again and again,

The hands gently pull her closer, the rough stubble brushes against her
As the warm breath rhythmically showers her,
Reassuring her she is safe.
Despite the pain, she begins to calm 
Her breathing deliberate, the sobbing almost non-existent
Her hands resting upon his chest as she cuddles to him
She is safe with him.

The companion remains, 
Awaiting another moment, another opportunity 
But for now, at this moment, she rests
Believing in the love that eases her fears,
hands that will always protect her.
 


Details | Lyric | |

The Art of Suffering

My pain still dreams of ways to breathe
Its methodical plans never seem to leave
Like frozen hatred spread through time
In the past and the future where I try to hide

Still unrelenting in this light
I’d blindfold myself only to give it sight
So unrelenting in its cause
So jealous of things that I have now lost

All of these words discard my need
For the quiet repentance has become disease
Much more the sufferer of my thirst
For the silence I found has strengthened my curse

Still in the wake of all I am
With every door I unlock I lose another hand
So distant to the sky I see
Yet every door I’ve unlocked has shown the sky is me

This pain will always find a way
No matter where I can hide it will have its say
Like burning music in my mind
Where everything that I hear is just the hurt inside


Details | Lyric | |

A Game with Death

Deep within the confines of my mind, I play a game with Death itself
The pieces set, black against white, the game played a thousand times before
I move the pawns to block the enemy line, and I feel a tinge of empathy
The pawn and I, so alike, both pieces in someone else’s game, expendable
The greater pieces, knights and rooks, bishops, and queens protect the king
The King, the representation of my mind, if defeated so shall I fall
The pawns charge and clear the way against the line of Death’s allies
Reaching to the sky for their chance at glory, but stricken down before
Death’s cold and brilliant moves seduce me, like a forbidden dance
Haunting and frightening, but tempting all the same, I allow the moves
The pieces fall like leaves from an autumn tree, a piece of me dies with them
For this is no mere game I realize, but the struggle against the embrace of oblivion
And I’m losing, the king backed into a corner, no way out with foes in pursuit
The king in hopeless retreat moves further into defeat, and I tremble
My hand reaches for something, could it be that I’ve succumbed to failure?
I take the king in hand and it falls to its side, the match is forfeit to Death
But as I offer my hand to him, embracing my fate, the phantom simply smiles
A chill smile not seen, but felt in the heart, a stinging pain that told me his intent
He would not take me to the afterlife, but abandon me to a life of pain and hardship
Just like so many times before, the game played over the course of a lifetime
And Death cheats every time, every loss becomes another chance for misery


Details | I do not know? | |

A Beautiful Lie

She blinks back the pain as she starts her day
Today like so many in the past
She puts on her front for them all to see
And like all old lies it fits comfortably
She practices her smile in the bathroom mirror
Such a happy girl
Yes, such a very happy girl
Everyone one wants to be who she is
She blinks back the pain from her past
Tears dont fall, not from these eyes
Her heart is not made of glass
She wears a smile for all to see
And like all old lies it fits comfortably
She puts on her lipstick in the bathroom mirror
Such a pretty girl
Yes, such a very pretty girl
Her momma would be proud
No one can see the emptiness in her eyes 
No one hears her scream
No one sees who she is inside
No one knows what she can be
She is just me
Just
Me


Details | Free verse | |

My Heart Bleeds

The effort and time
Just to lose my mind
So blind that I cannot see
That all I am is loves’ lost tragedy
Time has not been on my side 
Makes me want to turn, run and hide
From all the tragedy my life has seen 
Makes my heart bleed 
From the hurt that feeds
Lead me to a new direction
Erase the old, make corrections

Living in tragedy 
What has this life made of me? 
Hard and cold, cold as stone 
Here I sit again alone 
Taking the pain and putting it away 
To shout it out some other day 
Love’s lost tragedy 
Made me see 
My heart bleeds 

So good together in each others company 
What led you to cheat on me? 
We were first-rate from the first date 
I thought you were my true mate
Now it’s ended 
My heart needs mended 
Blended, with sorrow and confusing lines 
Oh God show me a way to go, just a sign 

Living in tragedy 
What has this life made of me? 
Hard and cold, cold as stone 
Here I sit again alone 
Taking the pain and putting it away 
To shout it out some other day 
Love lost tragedy 
Made me see 
My heart bleeds 

The hurt might go away 
On my knees all I can do is look up and pray 
And say, that this won’t happen again today
Scorned, heart too torn, to be reborn 
Love again, not convinced 
I haven’t found love since

Living in tragedy 
What has this life made of me? 
Hard and cold, cold as stone 
Here I sit again alone 
Taking the pain and putting it away 
To shout it out some other day 
Love lost tragedy 
Made me see 
My heart bleeds 


Details | Free verse | |

I AM BY YOUR SIDE

I held you close.... 
For painful things you must bare 
Painful things you must share 
you cannot be alone... 
Especially when the hurt cuts deep, 
deep in to the bone 

I cannot spare you this pain 
This pain you feel inside 
But I feel it too... 
I am by your side 

From the depths of despair 
Never forget.... 
I am there 
Pain can pass.... 
It takes time to heal, 
all that you feel 

I held you close... 
These things will soon be past 
They cannot last 
The strength you have inside... 
will overcome... 
When all is said and done 
Do not fear... 
I will always be here 

Love will shine through 
I know it can 
I feel it in you 
What people say.... 
What people think.... 
Is not important 
I cannot let you sink... 
You know this is true 

For, what they see... 
Is only on the outside... 
If they only knew you... 
They would know... 
The heart inside... 
The heart glow 
This is true 
This is so 

I cannot spare you... 
This pain inside 
I cannot make it go... 
Only you know... 
I am here 
I am by your side 
I feel it too 


Details | I do not know? | |

I AM

I am an independent believer looking at another side of blinded endeavor feeling the pain what we inflict on others and ourselves.

I wonder why people can be so filled with hate and mask themselves from the overwhelming emotions plaguing our world in suffrage yet claim themselves in good,
But profess themselves in Christianity.

I see the pain of the notions forgotten children reaching for heaven as god’s fair hand grasps their hearts and with his teary eyes cleanse them free of our own weaknesses we have not yet seen.

T want the peace, love, and forgiveness of what was promised to me in my mighty book that I have as my shield of armor against the evil I feel when I go against the adversaries of the world.

I am ostounded that we leave innocence to rout in caois and corruption with out a kind word or good deed for we are more into self than world harmony.

I pretend that I fly in my father’s kingdom where all the children are cuddled safe in his nurturing arms accepted faults and all. He holds his hand out to me and says some beliefs don’t always go unheard, but just untouched for my people cast the unwanted verbal truth from their ears for I hear you and accept you for I love my children.

I touch the tears of our future living amongst the sacrificial of what we see as governmental need but at what value is it when it mocks the oldest book we saver in a voice with mincing pleasures we still fail to see.

I worry for our soles degrade ourselves in worship as the pledge to a blood stained spangled banner instead of the one who gave his son in sacrificial salvation instead of making verbal pornography of his act indulging an abomination of religion at will as man poisons minds with new advances intriguing among us naming rule.

I cry as I stand with my beliefs bashing preyed on as if lying in a bed of knives Knowing I’m only one in await of amageden in the pestilents that the worlds deranged lovers desecrate.

I am what I am but we think a life for a life with judgments of our own prejudices superior to authority. What have we become but what we hate in thirst far worse.


Details | Ballad | |

SECRET PLACE

A place you can go 
when hurt breaks you so 

Retreat within,find the key 
for there are many keys 
to the secret place 

Key for hurt and pain 
Key for imagination 
Key for magical lands 

The secret place, 
the key ,the door, 
only you know what its for 

Go within your self and explore, 
you are the keeper, 
you know where to go, 
to the door where gentleness will flow 

The secret place 

Your door, many keys 

Key to unlock your heart 
Key to love again 
Key to experience loss and pain 
Key to live and breathe again 

Many keys you can hold, 
but only one door, 
you decide,not told, 
The key you want and what its for 

Dont carry too many keys, 
for the keys are heavy in hand 
and heavy in heart 

The key of pain and loss, 
the heaviest of all 

The key of happiness, 
delicate and fine, 
made with pure golden sunshine 

Carry this key to your secret place 
the best key of all 

The key of love does'nt have a key 
merely warmth 
for this door doesn't need a key 
for there is no door to love 

Love is all around, 
not in one secret place, 
but in all of us, 
wells from within, 
flowing from the heart 

the secret place 


Details | Rhyme | |

Night And Day

 


I just want to write today 
Just like every day 
But I don't really know 
What to write right now 

Chorus: 

I refuse to be sad and cry 
And go through any pain 

But anyway I should give it a try 
I got power in my brain 
I refuse to be sad and cry 
And go through any pain 

Chorus: 

I refuse to be sad and cry 
And go through any pain 

I really want to fly 
And get on in the next airplane 
Any night and day 
I refuse to be sad and cry! 

chorus: 

I refuse to be sad and cry 
And go through any pain... 

I refuse to be sad and cry 
And go through any pain... 


I refuse to be sad and cry 
And go through any pain... 



:)



Dorian Petersen Potter 
aka ladydp 2000
copyright@2004-2008


December,10,2008

 
 


Details | Free verse | |

My Ashes

Intense pain pure and uncut
blinding all righteous thought out of sight
a chilling journey inconjunction with 
a trouble plight
dark bleeding gums from biting my tongue
and a bruised throat from choking on my words
I wanna scream out loud
and shake the bark from my family tree
to fill the void I've come out of
to tear off these notions and happy thoughts
I wanna ponder the thought
and wonder in frenzy at my own misery
I hate smiling I hate laughing
give me pain pure and haunting
give me chaos
give me night take away the day
bludgeon the clouds and tweek the stars
spit on my grave
and leave no footprints in my ashes



Details | Free verse | |

Black Lite

my pain grows tall like sugar cane
destroying my mental state with decay
a chemical labotomy to part east from west
the subculture of my dementia united in fear
to haunt the infrastructure of this ghost
to rebuke the host from his agitated abode
to row down stream to go under the phantom
to drown the spirit in hollows of my mental
state
wax up the leaking sieve to drain more pain
to set me free from my grooves of pain
and wallow in the pain in drooves


Details | I do not know? | |

In Memory of Gwen (2005)

You wrote a poem once for me
Now I write one in your memory
You were a breath of fresh air
A soul so rare
Happiness and love all in one
It’s so sad that you have gone
You lost your voice but still talked
You were in pain but you still walked
In your last days you were so brave and lived in hope
Somehow through the pain you knew how to cope
You said it was in his hand
I hope you are resting in peace in the promise land
We remember you as bright as a star
Your strength of spirit is never ever far



In memory of Gwen Radha Soami


Details | Free verse | |

Of The Heart

The heart holds all the pain, 
yet, at the same time, 
all the love.
However, which is which?
For love is often pain 
and pain is often love.
Do not misunderstand, 
one must exist with the other.
Do not despair, 
as those entities of the heart 
give you strength 
and of course, wisdom.
Take the time you need 
to tell them apart 
and find the differences.
Once achieved, 
your life will be far better 
and the one you longed for.


Details | Lyric | |

Painful Revelation

Sweet release within a rushed escape
Bitter love and then some mutual rape
Innocence relived with blinded eyes
Deeper now to see it’s just a lie

Strength of steel after all the games
Strength of gods when walking through the pain
An understanding of a darker place
Deeper now that you have had a taste

Can you survive a bullet to the head?
Can you stand up even though you’re dead?
Will we smile again despite our wounds?
Can we breathe light despite the favoured moon?

The darkest nature’s without sacrifice
Forgetting truth is why we weave the night
Bettering or choosing to succumb
Deepening the hate that makes us numb

Can you turn your pain into some truth?
Can you live knowing that you could lose?
Will we end the hate that needs our souls?
Can we forgive despite the pain that grows?


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Light

The light of the sun will shine down
Hiding all of those little frowns
The rainbow is painting your mask
Illusions are an every day task

The heat of the sun will delude
The greatest minds are its fruit
It helps you become your belief
Your sun is not my relief

I live in dark I can see
Your hate, pain and envy
I thought I just saw you die
In my eyes you’re just another lie

The minute that I step into light
It’s blinding, it’s far too bright
Stop me before I am dead
You’re pushing, killing instead

Please, show mercy on me
Controlling what wants to be free
Just because you cannot see
Doesn’t mean I cannot believe
You’ve killed me

I lived in dark and could see
Your hate, pain and envy
I know you have died
So many times, how much lies?
I crawl back into the dark
Your lies have just hit their mark
Darkness is now the thing that I crave
Anything else is just another grave
Lift me up and surprise
I now feel so high
The mask will fade from my face
I’m free now in every way
You keep trying to pull me from this
Why can’t I be with bliss?


Details | Lyric | |

Tarnished

Memories, or rather…

Metaphorical shards of glass embedded in my sanity and tormenting my very 
soul

I want to purge them from my mind so that I can once again be whole

I am an old tattered book

My pages dog-eared and worn

I want to give birth to myself and once again be born

New, pure, clean, and sheltered

Untarnished and untouched by the pain of this world

Only anticipation of what is yet to unfurl

Am I forever damaged?

Or shall time be the bandage upon my tender wounds?

Broken and scarred I gaze upon the moon

And she is still there, just as she was when I was a child

Only these eyes have seen much more

Through my pain I have discovered wisdom lies in it’s core

However one views the world, is how they will inevitably perceive it

Now I understand that it is knowledge that we gain through all that we endure

Life is merely a collection of experiences, you never know what’s behind each 
door


 


Details | Free verse | |

Untitled

A life more ordinary than any story is crafted before me
and every facet of my existence is based around the fact 
that when I'm gone, I won't be missed, 
Still they'll insist on sifting through my bones 
to reconstruct these broken poems
brought on by suburban America, and life in a "normal" home
But the enemy was always within me, see, from the time I turned 13
I tried constantly to break free from the precepts of society
And as time went by, I breathed an air I perceived to be
clean from everything conceived in me
that the culture of my youth told me to believe
I carried them around on my brain like weights, they constantly drained 
my mind of every pain and negative aspect that being human lays claim to
And when I came to, I had a pain that had bled through
a hole in my brain that opened along with my eyes
and out went the lies that told me everything would be fine
They told me not to worry
I've got a whole lifetime to grow up, "What's the hurry?"
What's the hurry?!
The hurry is that I'm infuriated by the fact
that I'm going on 21 and I still live at home
The hurry is that I'm worried I might collapse prematurely
not having accomplished everything I wanted to have done
I'm not afraid no one else will hear my song
I'm just afraid it will never get sung.