A toddlers Crayola masterpiece marks the box
Where the story of our days now tarry
Passages tilting the axis of a bittersweet equinox
As photographs eclipse yesterday and today unvaried
The plans we made for a life
After years of work and worry
Useless installments when your partner dies
The crumbling of everything you once held firmly
Riveted, uprooted with every slide
Scenes of "our time" bring you back to life
I step from earth, you from the sun, for yet another goodbye
And the dam finally collapses behind brave hazel eyes
But not the brokenness your death left behind
Still, though no more than ashes it resides
Like faded photographs etched in the mind
Fanning the embers... one picture at a time
Rage rises, for you left me alone
Without refuge for all life's trials
And our sons fatherless before they were grown
Every step feeling more like a mile
I've grieved so long
And tried to move on
Like river water never looking back
But it's motion sings the the words to our song
Leaving me afraid I'll never belong
Or live out the plan we devised
For all my days my efforts give way
Blundering, burdened and blind
How does one truly recover
When the mate of their soul is no more
Or pass from one realm to yet another
When the walls of your heart no longer have a door?
Frustration builds like Lego towers
toppling to the floor under the weight of the world
Is it grief or something disguised by cowards
When a heart gets stuck from the pain that it's learned?
This ode to a man
Who in covenant took my hand
The marriage equator engraved a permanent mark...
For his death left a total eclipse of my heart
Crazy as a loon
But my God... how I loved you
My eyes fixed upon our favored moon
And I wonder... Do you miss me too?
Anniversaries used to be a joyous accomplishment
Marking years of selfless love made
Now it serves only an acknowledgement
Of a life interrupted by a cruel twist of fate
Of ill trusted hopes
And a future unmade
For us left behind to cope
With memories and photographs fading away
On this the 2nd anniversary...
Of your passing away
In memory of my husband of 25 years
The tears I shed are not tears of pain but of grief for you my love. As life would have it or fait at least; you lost at what could have been. Really what should have been!
I know what you truly deserve and it's not me or the poor background of which I've come from. Your friends have managed to find wives with wealth and retirement. While all you can do is carry the load as you always do.
Do not think for an instant my heart isn't hurting; knowing I'm not good enough, never have been, and never will be. I can never catch up in life and will never be an equal. At no time is this far from my mind.
I used to think love was all that mattered but now I have grown up and realize how much more there is to life. A fine line drawn in the sand from the beginning has set us apart and down separate paths. Together yet not as one; this was never to be for our lives were directed by poverty and riches.
Was I selfish to want you? I did not understand then as I do now. Now knowing what I know, I cry for you my love. You could have carried on finding that special one to share all of you with. No lines drawn, no poverty or riches to separate. No tears shed or grief knowing ones' not good enough!
What's ahead as each day passes I wait to see. God has a plan, everything happens for a reason. A new job with more money, yet not even this erases the line. Not for my life of such little means even this can't bind a heart set on a different path?
I do not know?
(for the countless women, names unknown, who bore the brunt of Apartheid, and who fought the racist system at great cost to themselves and their families, and for my mother, Zubeida Moolla)
Pregnant, your husband on the run,
your daughter, a child, a few years old,
they hauled you in, these brutish men,
into the bowels of Apartheid's racist hell.
They wanted information, you gave them nothing,
these savage men, who skin happened to be lighter,
and white was right in South Africa back then,
but, you did not cower, you stood resolute,
you, my mother, faced them down, their power,
their 'racial superiority', their taunts, their threats.
You, my mother, would not, could not break,
You stood firm, you stood tall.
You, like the countless mothers did not break, did not fall.
You told me many things, of the pains, the struggles,
the scraping for scraps, the desolation of separation
from your beloved Tasneem and your beloved Azad,
my elder sister and brother, whom I could not grow
up with, your beloved children separated by time, by place,
by monstrous Apartheid, by brutish men,
whose skin just happened to be lighter.
You told me many things, as I grew older,
of the years in exile, of the winters that grew ever colder.
You were a fighter, for a just cause,
like countless other South African women,
you sacrificed much, you suffered the pangs,
of memories that cut into your bone, your marrow,
you resisted a system, an ideology, brutal and callous and narrow.
Yes, you lived to see freedom arrive, yet you suffered still,
a family torn apart, and struggling to rebuild a life,
all the while, nursing a void, that nothing could ever fill.
I salute you, mother, as I salute the nameless mothers,
the countless sisters, daughters, women of this land,
who fought, sacrificing it all for taking a moral stand.
I salute you, my mother, and though you have passed,
your body interred in your beloved South African soil,
you shall remain, within me, an ever-present reminder,
of the cost of freedom, the struggles, the hunger, the toil.
I salute you!
(for the brave women of South Africa, of all colours,
who fought against racial discrimination and Apartheid)
I can act insane
But DO NOT
Make me feel worthless
I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation
Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee
I can act like an
Adult, but I’d
Prefer to have joy…
That piles upon us in our
Being childlike is
A rare beauty –
No one prizes it…
No one came across it…
In this lifetime…
I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine
Renew my young heart
Give me the ability
To kill the old man…
I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs
By my future generation
I beg of you –
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy
I’ll still have pieces of a child in me
And pass it on to my future generation…
There’s a Web of Temptation and Sin!
There’s a web of temptation and a lot of sin…
That brings slavery and a strong bondage within!
Throughout this land, there’s an evil surge!
While many lives, seem to be getting “submerged!”
Being submerged, into a life, that many believe in.
They become perverted, but want all to receive them!
The “love and acceptance,”
that many desire.
Puts them on a tightrope! A very thin wire!
As the web of temptation and sin begin to grow.
It brings a bondage that damages the soul!
They may want to have “love and acceptance.”
But in their hearts, needs to be a godly repentance!
May the holiness of a righteous God be stirred!
That all will come back, to the truth of his word!
His son Jesus, came to the cross! He bled and died!
That through him, our lives can be totally sanctified!
Only the power of God, can bring a needed restoration!
He gives to one and all…
A heavenly invitation!
Whosoever will… Come now! And accept him!
Won’t you take the time, to really know him?
Don’t allow the web of life to destroy
and overcome you!
Come to Jesus now! He really does
By Jim Pemberton
written 17th Sept 2013
sung by Brad Paisley and Alason Krass
Just married, he loved his new wife,more than anyone saw
a day after they where married, he got drafted off to war
Overjoyed to finally return home to his bride
he walked in, to find she was in bed with another man
With just a slight second, his heart died
pain overwhelmed his entire soul, he picked up a drink
And started to drink more every day, to try to forget
as time passed, he drank himself to death, with a note "I'll love her till I die
they buried him beneath the willow, as she watched she filled her soul with regret
left to blame herself, she began to drink his memory away
As years passed she slowly drank her pain away
they found her next to his grave, holding his picture as she passed away
They buried her beneath the willow, and they were together again
and the angles sang a whisky lullaby
So when you find your one true love, be faithful and true
for no amount of alcohol will mend a broken heart for whatever you do!
I chose this song for my mother and my father both became alcoholics after they separated and my father passed away at the age of 42years old, my mother still lives but never stopped drinking she will be 58 years old she took off with his best friend from the age of 12yrs old
Crown of Sonnets
Why did you just get up and go away?
I thought that you would be here for me every single day
You did not even say goodbye
And if things went wrong, why did you not say "Lets try"?
I sit by my window and I am all alone
I am sitting there waiting and you don't even phone
What shall I do for the rest of my life?
When I thought we'd always be together as husband and wife
So as I sit by my window, I know in my heart
That we'll be together again, because we were never meant to part
Then as I look out of my window
In another world I can see
We will be together as it was always meant to be
It seems I wanted too much:
or may be just a touch.
May be a little bit more:
happiness with the one I adore.
May be a good morning kiss,
or sweet words: “My honey I miss”.
It seems I wanted too much:
to be happy as such,
to fly in the sky like a bird,
to be understood without a second word,
to listen to the songs of my Lord,
to give a smile and behave like a child.
It seems I wanted too much:
to live without any mistakes,
without any heart breaks.
I wanted my soul not to be cold,
to live without any storms,
to feel your heart warmth.
It seems I wanted too much:
to turn into a dove,
to swim on the waves of love,
to meet with you every dawn,
to have the wings of a swan
and never be alone.
It seems I wanted too much...
Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)
As sin and perversion often
So many lives and families
are being “disintegrated.”
Many are being driven by sin’s temptation force…
It’s no wonder much of this country
is way “off course.”
The morality and values that once made a great nation.
Are evaporating…. Leading to a
Love, honor, and respect of God…
Is often a “thing of the past.”
Anything of God seems to be
God is our only hope! And him alone!
Only he can bring healing to our broken homes!
He’s the answer to this wounded nation, that bleeds!
It’s only God that can meet all of our needs!
He’s our provider… The great: “I am!”
Won’t you reach out to him?
And give him your hand?
Why not give him a chance? And allow him in?
A brand new life for you…
Is waiting to begin!
May we allow God’s holiness and love to reach
down into our hearts…
Asking; “Lord please forgive our sins!”
Is a good place to start!
By Jim Pemberton
When Love Turns Cold.
Another one bites the dust,
As the game of love’s played out,
And It seems that she don’t love him anymore.
And tears run down young faces,
And young minds fill with doubts,
As a father turns and walks on through that door.
So little minds confused
And little hearts all bruised,
They peer into the awful damage done.
As old children play old games,
And both each other blame,
They later find that nothing’s ever won.
But love’s grown cold it’s over now,
He’s gone, it’s done, someone has failed,
And the children they must ride it all somehow.
The house feels empty now,
All grey and cold somehow,
And little hearts they fill with too much sorrow.
And a young man walks the street,
All tired and feeling beat,
His sadness reaching out to all tomorrows.