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Funny Sea Poems | Funny Poems About Sea

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Details | Rhyme | |

The Pirates Life

    He stands upon the salty,slippery deck,
Yelling yaargh matey ,
with a halfhearted pirate drawl.
He's not to impressed with himself,
not an eyepatch or wooden leg,
not even a hooked claw.
The parrot on his shoulder,
is a wannabee,
a sparrow that fell from the Crowsnest, 
from high up above.
It has no quips ,or spikes,
or pirate quotes,
just nesting on his shoulder 
with birdly kind of love.
Aye captain the crew responds,
snapping to their chores.
Tend the wheel ,lash the mainsail,
take the soundings
 less we hit a reef.
The sea going life is not for every man,
walking the plank,storms and rickets.
Crabs in your knickers ,
really give you grief.
Aah but when the wind fills the sails to bursting,
yards of canvas strain to be free.
And the ropes play ,sea going music
of a tension melody.
A song that captures
every young buccaneers heart ,
and soul and fancy.
For the music of the wanderers life,
an endless expanse of blue,
bravehearts and fearless men find,
quite a bit too chancy.
Black Beard,Yellow Beard,
the famous Captain Blood,
were all fearless pirates of their day.
He truly knows that he can be,
a great one too.
If he could ever find that bleeping map,
and escape this landlocked bay.


Details | Light Poetry | |

A Pirates Prayer of Thanks

I come to you with humble thanks for all that you’ve delivered, For Englishmen to walk the planks and for timbers left unshivered. I thank you for a glassy sea and the steady blowing breeze, For giving all these things to me without making me say please. And I thank you for the horizon where sea and sky do meet, For every new sun that I watch risin’ is a day of fate I’ll cheat. It is my hope dear loving Lord that I can bring you pleasure, By throwing someone overboard and stealing all their treasure. And when I navigate at night you send the northern star, I feel then that I’m alright and it’s to you that I’ll say ARRR. There’s a lesson that some people teach about the carrying that you do, But I knew that the footprints on the beach must have belonged to you. ‘Cause I got a peg and there’s no doubt it would’ve got stuck into the sand. I couldn’t have pulled myself back out because I got this hook for one hand. I’d like to see you but by some quirk my good eye got covered by my patch, I know that I’m just salvage work and it’s you who’ll batten down my hatch. So Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum and raise the Jolly Roger to the sky, And praise Him from whom blessings come the one who reigns on high. For I am grateful for the gifts that you have granted me, A pirate ship that is so swift and the blue green open sea.


Details | Epulaeryu | |

Succulently Sweet Pumpkin Pie (Epulaeryu)

“The finest poetry
     is the most feigning.”
           —William Shakespeare


Smelling scent soothe my soul
Sits in sleek oven
Simmering Jack-O-Lantern
Smile so nicely
Saliva pours for
Sweet pumpkin
Pie!

~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~
© Joseph, November 2, 2008
© All Rights Reserved
~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~

Semi finalist contestant
292 out of 887 submissions
June 1, 2009 International Contest

~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~

Joseph S. Spence, Sr., is the author of "The Awakened One Poetics" (2009), which is 
published in seven different languages. He invented the Epulaeryu poetry form, which 
focuses on succulent cuisines and drinks. He is published in various forums, including the 
World Haiku Association; Poetinis Druskininku, Milwaukee Area College, Phoenix Magazine; 
Möbius Poetry, and Taj Mahal Review to name a few. Joseph is a Goodwill Ambassador for 
the state of Arkansas, USA, a college faculty, and a military veteran.

~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~


Details | Rhyme | |

Pirates Cove

Water wives live sheltered lives
Amongst the coves where pirates rove

Daily catch is makers match
Where red hot stoves hide fresh baked loaves

Water men are thick and thin
So often strove where shipmates hove

Water child is often wild
The treasure trove where pirates roved

19Mar14


Details | Free verse | |

. F.T.W.(oil)

.       F.T.W.
F.ree  T.he  W.aves
f.REE  t.HE  w.AVES

F.ree T.he W.aves!!!
Is what they say,,
Got my self some true tales
About the world today.
Oil job site fails.
Poor Sea World has to pay.
I found many black sea shells
Oil got in their way.
I wanna claw my nails.
On B.P.for turning our sand to clay
I can sit and give details
How they ruin our ocean bay
Instead I'm sending mean E-MAIL's
Expressing anger for their oily display.
How their stupidities drop our sales.
I hope they choke while eating a sea buffet
I hope someone feeds them sting-ray tails
As they drink coffee at there sea side cafe.
Everything sooner or later prevails
And ocean life will once again find a way.

God send them rain hit them with heavy hail
It's to late for B.P.to pray..
2 months of a  black grave trail
((LOL)), B.P.you angered the US.A.
Getting off easy with no jail
That does not make things okay.
I will not wish you all to go to hell
After making the ocean a bigger body of dead prey
Your clean up time is slower than a sea snail
Many uncalled dead seagulls are found in your oily decay
Funny how the president takes the heat of your bail.
You screwed our blue ocean water to a stream of black and grey.

An oil site ran by a higher percent of males
Oh well what can you expect and say.
With the world in the way of oil spills.
Is like B.P.oil's is saying F.T.W.anyway.
While we the protesters say, F.ree T.he W.hales!!!
F.T.W.=free the whales!!!!!

=(contest)=


Details | Limerick | |

PASTA, PASTA, EVERYWHERE

Oh, vermicelli, rigatoni!
Lost on a sea of minestrone. 
The sea beneath my feet,
And nothing else to eat,                     
I live on cheese and macaroni.


Details | Burlesque | |

The Pirates Of Sean Penn's Aunts

Penn's Aunts, patch-eyed women
Cutlass carried, pistol too
You mess with Sean,
They mess with you
Give his movie a bad review,
You'll walk the plank,
That's what they'll do.


Details | Limerick | |

A Whale of a Tale

When the call of the Lord came to Jonah,
“set out for the great land of Nineveh!”
he was angry inside,
and decided to hide,
on a Tarshish bound ship leaving Joppa.

Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea,
ne’er a more violent storm could there be,
there on destiny’s brink,
the ship threatened to sink,
while, old Jonah, was below deck asleep.

Surely, each sailor’s heart fainted with fear,
as the ship they were unable to steer.
“Wake up, Jonah!”  they cried,
“get thee quickly topside,
and fervently beg your God to draw near!”

Now, Jonah knew that this storm was for him,
as in his heart he remembered his sin,
he thought he was sunk,
when they gave him the dunk,
and had to choose whether to sink or to swim.

As soon as Jonah met up with the ocean,
Both the winds and the waves ceased commotion,
then along came a whale,
and old Jonah grew pale,
as it swallowed him up in one motion!

Three long days in that big fish he stayed,
vowing never again would he stray,
relieved not to be dead,
and with kelp on his head,
onto dry land, our dear Jonah was sprayed!

Please, allow me, now this moral to mention,
that when the Lord God gives thee direction,
you must not delay,
set out right away,
His good judgment you must never question.

Should by chance, you hear God’s voice compelling,
“ head thee out to Bangladesh or New Delhi,”
best get on the right boat,
and pray that it floats,
lest you end up kelp covered and smelly!


Details | Haiku | |

Sunet Strip

<                                  well isn't that swell
                                lost another cool surfboard ...
                                      holy sharks galore



                                        beyond horizon
                                 the sun bids day well ado ...
                                       happy trails to you



                                       top of old smokey
                                  cumulus congestive skies ...
                                    coughing up a storm



                                        excursion riding
                                  using buoyant enforcement ...
                                      to capture the sun



                                       yacht and small vessel
                                  endlessly floats rippled lake ...
                                       feeling abandoned                                   
                                                            


Details | Free verse | |

Fun in the Sun

Flesh on show and sun tan lotion
bodies laid on towels or sun lounges 
By the ocean
Salty air wind blown hair
Music streaming from the near by fair
Baby screaming nappies full
Cool guys looking for babes on the pull
Sun shades and floppy hats
Grown men playing cricket with ball and bats 
Sand castles and buckets and spades
Candy floss and lemonade
Father With binoculars pretending to look out to sea
Or read a newspaper but really looking at the bathing beauties
Bikinis and manknies G strings tight where the sun don't shine
Hot dogs and hamburgers the popping of corks from bottles of wine
Hairy legs and wrinkled skin
child almost drowning couldn't swim
Muscle bound Life guards with muscles to impress
Granma lost her false teeth
Dropped between her breasts
Ice creams and summer dreams
Young child peeing in the sea
Among the swimmers splashing about with glee
People playing beach ball and football
Mother calls come on all it's time for tea
Large Busty woman running like jelly on a plate
Wobble wobble
And nearly starting an earthquake
Sand between your toes
Sun burn on your nose
Sweaty arm pits sweaty bums
Toffee apples and bleeding gums
Sea gulls flying screeching high above
Clear blue sky pure white dove
Watching the frothy waves stretch upon the shore
Watching the horizon and tiny boats 10 miles away or more
Dogs running here and there
Sweets being passed around to share
Crabs and shrimps and other critters in a rocky pool
Children with fishing nets and jars to take them back to school
Para gliders pulled by speed boats high in the sky
Oh why do people want to risk life
As they could die
Postcards to write people on there bikes
The smell of fish and chips
Children with jam around their lips
Couples walking hand in hand barefoot on warm sand
Treasured memories and photo's to cherish
Suitcases packed feeling unwound and relaxed
Can't wait until next year when they come back.


Peter Dome.copyright.2013. July.


Details | Free verse | |

Thunderstruck Sunshine

The clouds shook
A thick, black, very wet blanket out
In the Southeastern quadrant 
Of the New Mexico firmament,
Complete with lightning
And growling, crackling,
Massive basso-profundo sound effects,
Inviting the sun to rest,
Take a load off, 
Reeellaaaxxx! 

Abrasively radiant,
Helios glared a brilliant, heated, passionate,
Steamy smile
Into the arid monsoon skies

And refused Storm’s invitation
To lie down and go to bed


Details | Free verse | |

Ship Ahoy Divorce Style

<                                              Haiku

                                          sea's tranquility
                                   bestows harmonic balance
                                      amidst  tides rising



                                               Limerick



                          aye ye matey walking its own plank
                          let not ye other take thee to bank
                                raise thy anchors set sail
                              give heeve hoe to those failed
                         find ye other sailor's who's yet sank  




                                              Couplet



                    shivery timbers captain bow is about to break
                    toss overboard it's ye baggage holding thee dam weight 




Entry For
{Destroyer { Poet's
Divorce Club
Haiku /Limerick/Couplet Contest
G.L. All


Details | Rhyme | |

A 3 HOUR TOUR--Right here on Gilligan's Island---


Our love is like Gilligan's Island
but what we have is so much more
And to all the girls that I've loved before
they are but Brady Bunches on three hour tours

Cheers to the ladies on that Island 
but you're my "Mary-Ann" and my "Movie Star"
come take my hand-in-hand, with candy tan 
you're the best of both worlds,  but much better by far


I have "Profess"ed to be your "Skipper"
tho' I'm "Thurston" for you like I do Mrs. Howell,
when you "Lovey" dove me with coconuts,
I can't help but go nuts, NOW GET ME A TOWEL!~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CLASSIC TELEVISION SHOW= Gilligan's Island
NAME= JSLambert
*Note: this Rhyme was written as a love letter-ish type of thang:) I hope ya' don't mind the weirdness of it all~:)JSL


Details | Rhyme | |

Fearing and Floating

It was so large
The New York Barge

If you wish to see
The Statue of Liberty

You board the boat
And away you float

My ornery friend
(Lifelong-till the end)

Refused to board the barge
It was packed and looked large

So I took a bandana
Blindfolded Marianna

Led my ornery pal
To the mid-ship locale

She protested ardently
I reassured her cheerfully

Made it to the island
But I had to hold her hand

As we climbed to the top
Oh my, what a drop

This was the only way
Her fears I could allay

Marianna felt proud
She’d made it through the crowd

But to this very day
She scowls at me in play

Whenever I mention
Our New York vacation

Her fear of the sea
Seems now gone, you see

But I’ll hold off on buying a cruise
Because my dear friend I would lose

To this day she’s ornery
But she’ll never be ordinary



*Entry for Carol Browns Ornery Best Friends contest.  True story.


Details | Limerick | |

Jack's Pact

Jack's Pact


There once was a pirate named Jack,
Who struck with the devil a pact.
But when his accord
He could not afford
The devil took Jack and his pack!

The moral of Jack and his pack
Is clear: Give the devil No pact!
If you can't afford 
To strike an accord
Hold fast what you have--not your lack!

deborah burch©
05/08/2012


Details | Rhyme | |

2 Peas or not 2 P's . that is the question ?

I saw a family of killer whales
In the Irish Sea 
South-East of Wales .
With radar fins and splashing tails 
   Giant masters of the sea .

Free Willie's dream was Hollywood
He made a splash
And that was good
But then again , we knew he could
   But , no Oscar-winner , he .

The family group , all had names 
There was Jonah , Jerry
Jess and James
Zoe , Chloe and Sue were dames
   And Bono swam like God .

Bertha and Babs with flashing eyes
Jack and Jill could synchronize
With Pete and Paul , we could sympathize
   The only " 2 P's in the Pod " ..


Details | Couplet | |

A Not So Quiet Calamity IV

The sirens and mermaids
called up from the deep,
untangled mesh nets
blithely held out by sleep.
There the first to emerge
were the sighs and the nods,
they sank then resurfaced
in clear Morphean pods.

I found myself wandering
on a wide stretch of beach.
My mind squeezed like a lemon,
my thoughts fuzzed like a peach.
When the sheet of fog lifted, 
I walked through the haze,
what’d been transfixed by the night
now transformed into day.

Bands of green kelp
had encircled my feet.
Sand dollars tossed out
from the wallets of seas.
The tang in the air
by the water and brine,
awoke to my senses
other days hazed by time.

Sunk then in a sinkhole;
my heart now clanged a bell!
I was no longer an oyster
in a barnacled shell.
I kicked off the seaweed,
splashed through the shoreline,
feeling refreshingly freed
from that soul ravaged time.

I knew I’d still wonder
about Calamity Clam.
Had he hid from the onslaught,
become a sea star’s sea ham?
Ouf…no longer my problem,
I was no agent by rights.
Then I stepped on an object 
and, out went the lights!

I hopped in frustration
with great hurt I did bow.
I bellowed out pain
like an angry sea cow.
With one mighty scoop
he was constained in my hand.
How to dispose of the despicable?
I felt seared by a brand.

Covertly I gazed
at this nemesis of fear.
Then I gave a smart tug
to his mossy green beard.
The thoughts that I harbored
were not of my decree.
I hurled him out, with three skips,
he sank back into the sea.



Details | Limerick | |

Yarns of a Seafaress

Hemingway’s famous “Old Man and the Sea”
Simply couldn’t hold a candle to me
     I caught Ahab’s great white whale
     Did some surfing on his tail
Made him jump through hoops ‘fore I set him free

In Scotland I gave Nessie a big scare
As with my huge net, the beast I did snare
     I held on as Nessie tugged
     Then set her free as I shrugged
To tell the truth, Nessie hadn’t a prayer

And now I’ve set my sights on the Kraken
Oh yes, I’m more than a fishing bumpkin
     And so for Norway I sail
     To prove women aren’t frail
This giant squid is simply a munchkin
 .


Written for Susan’s “Ridiculous Self-Exaggerations” contest
*Last line is the metaphor


Details | Footle | |

Fishy Footles

A RACE TO DE-BONE FISH:
Filet
Relay

A CONVENT FOR SHELL FISH:
Oyster
Cloister

A MEMBER OF THE UNDER SEA MAFIA:
Mobster
Lobster

A PROMISCUOUS SHRIMP:
Trampy
Scampi

A MUSICAL RED SNAPPER:
Snapper
Rapper

A COMPASSIONATE FISH:
Caring
Herring

A LAW ENFORCEMENT FISH:
Grouper
Trouper

2/2/13
For Yasmin's Footle Fun Contest








Details | Ballad | |

THE WISHING WELL OF A SUN-RISE,

It is...within the tiny things of early morning, that moment breaths alive, it is within the tiny whisperings, that a melodye plays...like the very dear and the antelope, play home on the range.

so goes the melodye of heart beat, that plays quietly the songs of soul,

here a rhyme is born of day-light coming so soon, through the early morning eyes of the moon-light, and the starry dreams of twilight's transitioning...

into the light of a love letter written to dawn.

soul to soul conversing, as in this love letter, the letters just join hands with the words and just march across the sky...and at the end of the rainbow, there be plenty of golden time,

way down deep on the inside,

...as the inspired choir, of a bumble bee, or a butterfly, starts to sing, like tiny things that live,

flower to flower,
blossom to bloom,

watered and deeply cared for...

O' Eden.

I say, deep beneath the surface of a wishing well...where the pennies lay,

I wish a sun-rise.








Details | Senryu | |

I Don't Give A Hoot

<                             beneath swollen moon
                               silhouttes conjoinment dance
                               hooting escalates  







Entry For
Sensuous Senryus


Details | Epigram | |

Bon Voyage.

We christen thee Titanic
unsinkable, gigantic.
but lack of options cost her.
First one: a good defroster.


Details | Quatrain | |

Long Live Love

A toss of the head
A flick of her hair
The wave of her hand
As her beauty did flare
 
Her bountiful step
The spring in her stride
Her laugh as we waked 
Hand in hand through the tide
 
Her mouth with its smile
As we wrote in the sand
Her cries of frustration
As sea coated the land
 
Those little I love yous
Meant so much back then
That on annual vacations
We repeat them again
 
For least we forget 
In the daily ado
Our marrital vows
Mean forever I do


Details | Couplet | |

MY BEST BAD CHOICE poetry contest ADULTERY

        MY BEST BAD CHOICE

Was a time --not long ago
When you begged me sweet and low

“Cast your net upon the sea
Quickly,darling, marry me!”

My heart caught 
and in a minute
My life was soup
And I was in it

A fair eyed man means dangerous shores
& I'm adrift-- mid rocks galore

On a current, flashing fins
You cast your line--
And hook sweet sins

And, at work you cannot think
When fishy eyes blink out a wink

Even friends are not off limits
When tides wash in the vodka gimlets

Do I hate you, yes, I could
Do I hate you, no, I should

A straying man on marriage seas
Navigates adulteries

When asked to re-chart his course
He usually stomps and screams “divorce”

MORAL 1:

Mixing metaphors and such
Keeps the critics out of ruts

MORAL 2:

Straying husbands/shagging rabbits
Cannot/willnot change their habits.




Victoria Anderson-Throop
Oct 10, 2012


Details | Rhyme | |

And Goliath Said

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Rhyme | |

Calamity The Great III

Swept by waves of nostalgia
Afloat on longing tides
I assessed this oyster compound
where my heart could not abide.
Aphrodisiac pulls of Neptune
were as lava cooled to stone
What use were pearls of luster
when one had no collarbone?

Heralded by sea trumpets
kelp banners flying high
Sentinels of sea urchins
with pink coral by their sides	
Calamity, with determined madness
shoved sponges from his path
Provoked by clam injustice
Spurred by mollusk wrath.  

I searched for an escape exit 
from that cruel, moronic clam
This myriad ideology,
naught but an oyster sham.
When a seahorse bobbing aimlessly
moved closer to my side
I unhinged my oyster carapace
and grasped its roughened hide.

I was jolted and I was jostled
as I settled on its back
Calamity watched in amazement
standing frozen in his track
When an agitated octopus 
released an ink black kite,
a galaxy of starfish 
sank into the brackish night.

I focused my attention	
on my lost and nervous steed
We were climbing ever upward
at a most alarming speed
Breaking through the surface
I swallowed back a scream
Afraid of finding Calamity
I found it all had been...a dream.


Details | I do not know? | |

Country Christmas

“Country Christmas Carol”      ---  dedicated to my family

 by  Miriam  McCue (creator of flamingo art, & poetry.so far.)

We love to sing Christmas songs,
My Grandson Bubba and I.
And when we sing Country Christmas.
We almost make the angels cry.

A Merry Country Christmas
To all those great Country Folk,
And even to the City Slickers,
Who also love to drink and smoke.

We’ll take a drink for Bubba, Aunt Mike and Cousin Jim, 
And hope that this Christmas,
They’ll say a prayer and sing a hymn.

Gather round the still, 
Country People all.
 And hold up Uncle Bill
So the old coot doesn’t fall. 

A Merry Country Christmas, 
One full of country joy.
Little Willie wanted a 12 gauge,
But all he got was a toy.


Details | Narrative | |

Mr. Crab and Mr. Anemone

(A hermit crab has just realized that he can barely fit into his shell and the only other 
creature in earshot to hear his cries is a sea anemone who lives on the hermit crab's shell and has been the hermit crab's close friend for many years.)

Lament dear shell! For we stayed in the sun too long and you have shrunk!
How shall I survive with out you to protect me and house me from the sea?

   Shrunk!?!  A sea-shell?  How is it that a shell could shrink, I ask you Mr. Crab?
   How could something hard grow small?  Maybe something that is soft grew large?

Mr. Anemone, what exactly do you mean?  Something that is soft???
My shell is hard and my claws are harder.  I can crack coconuts and coquinas alike.

   No doubt, Mr. Crab, your claws are hard indeed, as hard as the shell on your head.
   But what about your tail?  Could it be that your tail has grown too big for your house?

Mr. Anemone, don’t be foolish.  I am as fit as a fish and sleek as a snake.
I highly doubt that my tail could be at fault, to be honest; I’m a bit insulted you would say so.

   Dear Mr. Crab, my intent is not to insult but to illuminate OUR current predicament.
   The shell on which I sit and in which you live is no longer big enough for YOUR tail -- are 
you listening?

Oh, excuse me Mr. Anemone, this blue-green algae is wonderful today.
Would you care for a snack?  It really is quite delicious and you are looking a bit thin.

   Mr. Crab, case and point!  You have already eaten breakfast twice today, this is your third.
   I believe we have narrowed in on the reason your shell has “shrunk”.  Are you paying 
attention!?!

Mmmmm, delicious algae; its so sweet when its fresh.  Oh yes, I heard you.
The sun has shrunk my shell and we must now say goodbye to our old home.

   Mr. Crab, a moment ago you were crying about the lack of room and potential eviction 
from our home,
   Now you munch away, ever expanding your tail and threatening our protection and even 
our lives!

(something floats down from the surface and comes to rest on the sand a few feet from Mr. 
Crab and Mr. Anemone)

Hello, what’s this Mr. Anemone?  Round opening, hard outer surface and very shiny,
And writing on the side, hmmm, “bud-weis-er”.  Budweiser!  Sounds like a great name for a 
new home.

   Yes indeed Mr. Crab.  When all hope seems lost and the end seems near, Mother Sea 
provides.
   And it would seem she has provided something big enough even for YOUR tail.


Details | Haiku | |

Cry Me A River

at the mouth of cave
aqua insurgent brushstrokes
cry me a river


Details | Free verse | |

The Road is a Circle

One road alone under my feet,
no apology could surmount the facts
of the wear and tear of the street
that the Roman fleet
put their spiked tracks
there’s no road that’s less traveled by here
just one that keeps turning right

Time has anchored 
On the covered ground
I stumbled looking up and round
eternal hour-glass of existence
Will be turned again and again 
And you with it

I can say this with a grin
for now and evermore
one road alone under my feet
and I-
I took the road that has made no difference

There is no fork,
just a big fucken circle.


Details | Couplet | |

I Could Have...

Upon the dusty shores I watched 
the calming waves of sea debauched. 
They seem to whisper in my ear 
then motioned me to venture near. 

Now had I known to swim not sink 
I could have held the salty drink. 

I drifted deeper into sea 
then felt my spirit wander free. 
I saw a phantom fierce and wet. 
His ghostly ship was sailing yet. 
The sea surged up, its laughter hard 
and caught the seaman off his guard. 

I felt the blow of pounding waves 
that pulled me deeper into caves. 
Above me, trackless waters grew 
then turned the sea a blacker blue! 

If only I had learned to float, 
I could have grabbed that raft or boat. 

The paling smile of sandy beach, 
grew far outside my grasp or reach. 
When doomed ships wreck when oceans flare, 
a ghost must turn the swells that scare,  
and sail them first with haunting kiss 
then cast the winds that howl and hiss. 

I dare you brave this unknown vast 
to see a specter raise her mast. 
Sea goers know who's at the helm. 
For it is I who ride the realm! 

But had I learned one swimming stroke, 
I could have wrote this as a joke! 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Popsicle Day Dream

I've been writing poems for three years now. I didn't write any before that. I just found a notebook from 20 years ago and this poem was in it. Evidently I wrote one poem for my kids back then, they were eight then. 

I’d like to fly on and orange popsicle, Up in the sky until it turns to trickle. I’d zoom it up then turn it around, And wave to the kids down on the ground. They’d talk about what they’d see, Two orange halves and one chilly me. They’d envy me for sitting on top, They’d wish to fly their very own pop. With tongues they’d catch my orangey drips, Then they would smack their new orange lips. The big yellow sun would play his tricks, And I’d be left with only the sticks. I would fall through the clear blue sky, But I’ll not worry and I’ll tell you why. With sticks on my feet like a skier I’d land, Then slide home safely on the soft sea sand. I think that next I’ll visit the grassy sea floor, That is, I believe, what the red ones are for.


Details | Rhyme | |

After The Party

He drank a sea 

Of Caribbean Rum

Under the midnight sun

Twenty-one candles

Melted into icing on

Pineapple upside-down

Now the woman in his bed

Is a stranger and his head

Is made of woodpeckers


Details | Burlesque | |

Love you like a Sea Urchin

I wanna love you like a Sea Urchin.
-Not just any other shellfish.
Baby, can't you see it's urgent?
we're strapped for time, so don't be selfish.

I wanna love you like a Sea Urchin.
-and all other points aside.
I know I ran from love in past lives,
'cause I didn't have a spine.

I wanna love you like a Sea Urchin.
-I admit i've been a round.
but of all the other fishies,
you're the one that I want now.

I wanna love you like a Sea Urchin.
-Won't you please come back soon?
oh boy, this globoid was a fool,
but he's a fool in love with you!


Details | Verse | |

The Snow has Come

The snow has come, 
everything is at a standstill. 
Everything grinds to a halt except, 
for the little children sledging. 
A little snow and the schools shut, 
The nurseries close down, nowhere 
to send the children. Ah, Grandparents" 

Must get to work, big project on, alas 
when I get there they too have shut down. 
Car stuck in the snow; how do I get it out? 
No shovel! "Heh, can I borrow your shovel?" 
"Not mine it's his but sure you can use it." 
"Thanks for the use of your shovel!" 
"Ok, can you give me a shove?" "Sure!" 

Back hurts, slipped disk, oh no, not again. 
Go to hospital, no staff, where are they? 
"Didn't you know, we had a snowfall today, 
no one turned up. I am the only one here. 
Never mind love, if you sit in the waiting room 
I'll make sure someone will come and see you. 
It could take three or four days but hang in there!" 

Copyright Robert Cartwright-Davidson February 2009


Details | Verse | |

Silly Sailor

Joanna Davis

Once a silly sailor,
sat upon a ship
Drank a barrel of rum;
thought he’d take a dip
Looked left and right.
then over starboard side
Saw a hump back whale
so he asked him for a ride
'No!' Said the whale,
I’ve far too much to do
to spend time wasting 
with a sailor as silly as you!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Bikini

Bikini
Too much fun to wear!


Details | Alliteration | |

Marianne

Strolling southern seashore in mists of September
searching for something set to stay,
her mind that meanders,
remarkable meters,
perplexing the phantoms at play.

Voices validating vague vagrant vocations
of poetry placed in parade,
with words waged in warring,
warning of the wheighman,
who knew you had dues left unpaid.

Before the seashore became her domain,
she’d wandered the wayside of pain,
locked in psychotic box
Doctor’s ticking clocks,
saying drain her poor brain once again.

Prefer sleep on the street keep her beat from defeat
she found sound vocation once more,
tourist response sterling,
shape sand to her seeing,
she sells sea shells, by the sea shore.


Details | Free verse | |

Moulting - for you

the next is like the first
equally shedding more skin
you do that again and again 
and I known each time 
you look at me 
we are transformed

and so we take each step
each page is torn away
a day, a week, a month
eternity in our eyes

this time with you 
like a wave that never breaks
a swell in the heart of the ocean

where the two race, play, swim

we are
the ones we see

in the next moment the sun rolls by
you lighten up the room
again a mirror 

to the little pools of mystery 
spilling out around you
giving up the secret

moulting in the broad day light


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

ATMOSPHERE,

A lonesome dove

feathered white.

The branch strong,

time light.

...no "wait".

A dream.

really blowing a sweet breeze.

...no "wait".

A heart beat sitting in a tree,

spirit like,

...no "wait".

A rhyme.

...of atomosphere.


Details | Rhyme | |

Poetry About Poetry

Shades of color bounce within
Singing their hues dancing in place
Vivid lines colored outside
Rules broken with empty space
A midnights dream heard and seen
Gleaming from the twinkle of a eye
Wings touched flown and plucked
Gliding like a bird up in the sky
Wishes from pennies thrown into tears
The reservoir over flowing with pigments of pain
Drowning from the shadows 
The flood paints the day
Words speak volumes of silence hidden
Their sounds blind to what they see
Mirrors of nouns and verbs 
Their meaning and secrets lost at sea
Emotions ruled by laws of language
Spelled in boxes of glass
Melted from sands inside
That voices strangle to grasp


Details | Limerick | |

Another Sailor's Tail Tale

They paddled till we reached the shore
Where I set them free to explore
Then back to the sea
This sailor did flee
They’ll not paddle me anymore


Details | Haiku | |

U.S.S. Styrofoam

They snickered and laughed
As you set sail on your raft
It seems you are daft


Details | I do not know? | |

The Sea

The Sea

Ever changing, ever moving,
Waters under the pull of a distant body.
Ever calming, ever soothing,
Maurarders of ever distant booty.

Try to tame lust for gold and nature,
Explore the Pirate in yourself and try to win.
The lust for treasure wans, what remains is rapture.
At six or seven fathoms you realize your sins.

A noble ship you believe you sail,
How you conduct your business tells the tail.
Treat honestly with all you trade,
and of the evil of the heart never be afraid.

Ever changing, ever moving,
Waters under the pull of a distant body.
Ever calming, ever soothing,
Maurarders of ever distant booty.

Too tired tonight to expand on this.
The morning sun always has first rights.
So to my bed I go... To give my pillow a watery kiss.
Before I find a waterfront bar and end a few fights.

rlm '07


Details | Blank verse | |

the shipwrecked sailor

the shipwrecked sailor
from the North 
lands on land
between the seas
and sees 

nothing but trees

the trees shade him from the sun 
in the sky
the sky provides a medium 
in which the birds 
from the trees
can fly

and the birds 
nested in the trees
on occasion 
provide the sailor
birds to fry

unfortunately 
the shipwrecked sailor
after his bird meal 
and nap
still can’t fly


Details | Blank verse | |

By The Ocean's Edge

I sit by the ocean’s edge, regarding the 3 shades of blue before me.
As I watch, a reverse cascade bursts to the sky. A low wale and a splash. Gone.
Dolphins, their laughter adorable at the least, bound into the air, only to dive back seconds later. 
Looking over, I see the wise cranes, jumping and bopping to a tune I cannot hear. 
Gulls high above shout greetings to me and their fellows. 
The sun, radiating it’s warmth unto my skin, bright and bold.

This is paradise. But not my paradise. 

…There has to be lemonade. 
Then, and only then, will this be my paradise.


Details | Free verse | |

Green and Blue

Fish swam in blue waves of cotton candy
Carless gulps of salty ocean
Tails whipping through chocolate sea
Sweet as a rice crispy treat
Mindless beauties beneath the land
Squishy scales under quick sand
While dinosaurs chant for reincarnation
Butterflies flutter in several mazes
Carrying souls from eras beneath to
Timeless eras above to retreat


Details | Burlesque | |

The Cruise Ship That Just Didn't Quite Make It...

She was an Italian liner,
Whose path crossed
Unfavorably with a 
Norwegian ship
Out at sea....

She went down that day
All aboard were sad
I just hope that Joe's wife
Was not Andrea by name,
Cause it was the Andrea Doria
Whose fate played to her fame.


Details | Limerick | |

A Drunken Tale

Over lips and through da gums
Hooked minno is going down some
Depth by depth there she sinks
Hooked a dam dogfish oh how that stinks
Pulled anchor and now drowning in rum




Tribute To Fishing
Also Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Sea Tale Limericks
GL All


Details | Verse | |

The Anchor

I once loved
an anchor
one of those
that sails
on skin
one of those
that has 
a rowing heart
and pelting blood
within


One of those
who blows
mussel covered
kisses
one of those
that tells
mermaids salty lies
one of those
who'll
go down with
rum and shackles
the day he finally
dies.


© Gry W Christensen


Details | Prose Poetry | |

The Writers Tail liaT sretirW ehT

The Writers Tail liaT sretirW ehT
by Charles Robert Hice on Wednesday, November 28, 2012 at 12:22pm ·
The Writers Tail
the poor writer can not post a poem anywhere to be recognized himself as a poet unless he writes a longish Devels tail complete with hooks and forks and splitting hoofs and tines in tomes you realize these publishers drink large amounts of alcoholic beverages and seek people to turn down they love to see someone saying homeless poems the frown and then the delete button when will they come to some conclusion that the ether thinking is the faulty mind life is better lived poor and sober how can any one help others to be someone iff they are drunk feet upp on the ottoman ice clinking against the windows and the glasses always half full and half empty ready at any moment to delete all details of any poor peoples emails so you want to post in this magazine afraid knot click delete delete the extra page is missing the long appendage added on is gone they removed all of the appendix index we told you to send an attachment means a file a doc or a document eye tried to attach my soul to my heart but there just is no space is taken up one old woman no pets allowed someday every item that eye write will flash before my eye it will be broadcast on heavens wifi for all the angels there to read each dot and t is crossed there no time lost to read eye will post my items on the heavens wifi for all eternity you stupid people who cant publish me make photostatic copies of my work and glue them to the bottoms of your shoes and stomp them in the dirt you walk back and forth on your thrown rug down on the floor until you cannot see the words and then you toss them into doors threw cracks and howl with glee cause Johnny cannot read me YOU CARACKED MY READING GLASSES BROKE MY TEETH  AND MADE ME GASP FOR BREATH TO BREATHE now little Johnny cannot read. Three shoelaces to make two shoes how many feet does little Johhny use. This tale hath a tail like the INcan Comet of Destruction can you see it in the sky it will be there the day we die. HOT ROCKS FALLING FROM THE SKY the day before the world turned green and died. Here is the cannonical mathmatical equation now. Take the INfinite lights in the sky what they really seem to be and move them to the end of time try to see them falling down. Tumble to the sea my lasting problems will never get ahold of me to hurt me whan they tumble to the sea eye will be set free whan my lasting problems thay tumble to the sea


Details | Fibonacci | |

Prepared Fish

.
The 
God
One True
God, God of
Heaven and Earth made
And prepared a great fish to eat
Swallow Jonah whole, undigested..sick..fish threw-up
Jonah on the shore bleached white stinking to high heaven, ran preached three days 
revival


Details | Rhyme | |

The Open Window

I’m already ahead and stirring before that fiery Sunrise appears every single morning.
I'm quickly catching up to my own waiting for the breaking of this phenomenal day.
My coffee will be in my hand right when my thoughts once again start freshly forming!
Ah, I’m feeling alive inside and I think I’ll just stay right here for each second of today.

I glide through my house to stream Sunlight in by pulling every single window shade up,
I toast this day pouring my fresh hot brew straight into my scuffed up old-timers tin cup.
It’s the open window where I see my birds on my oak tree branches singing and playing, 
I just stand at the open window licking early morning honeydew from my lips and I say,
Now this is the most outstanding way to start any God given day with this superb array!

There are just so many smelly buttercups blooming out for me to pluck them up to sup!
I’m smiling whistling and getting enthusiastic about allowing myself to get carried away,
Because I hear my happy little birdies singing their hearts out to me and they’re in tune!

Let us in! Let us in! They twitter their tweets with chirps, 
Let us in and we will sing all day long just to be near you.
Laughing and giggling at my birdies I am just tickled pink,

No way Jose!
I can’t sing! 
My silly, silly little birdies, 
Y’all know my singing stinks.

My buzzing bumbling bee hummers away driving at the winds to boot,
I holler and holler for that goofy buzzer until I’m just not giving a hoot.
So I lift my tin cup up and in my air I toast to a genuine wholeness today,

By the open window I whisper to my eternally inspirational four winds of heaven, 
Forever you may live insde my breaths majestically just as my infallible Sunrays!

® Registered: Ann Rich  2005


Details | Haiku | |

You Don't Phase Me

dogs come cats go
just like moon waxing
Don't let it phase you



Tribute To Moon Waxing LOL

Also Don't Forget To
Turn Those Clocks Back


Details | Free verse | |

Somebody Loves Me

Produced 50 yrs ago
My master Pravin Pant Sr.
Felt it was time for my Just Born coop to grow
So he introduced me to some other chicks
Bunnies bats cats pumpkins and
Even thought of placing some lucky stars
In for the heck of it what a day of cellabration
Now he has flipped his lid once again and took a few friends back
Had turned them into lip balms but I don't mind
For they will stay forever fresh on my lips as I speak of them
I been dropped off buildings had been steam rolled over
And each time I bounced back with zest
So please come rescue us from this crazy farmer
Place me in a warm basket or cake or even a dressed table 
For I m just a little peep looking for somebody to love



To The Peep 
In All Of Us    LOL


Details | Quatrain | |

THE DREARINESS OF THIS FRIGID SEASON

Goodbye Fall with all the auburn leaves of the reddest sunset,
goodbye crackling path where I met the last songbirds,
whose melody accompained me to winter's doors;
and with deep sadness I kept on looking back.


Welcome gloomy winter with short afternoons and long evenings;
watching the advancing shadows and loudly hearing
the furious sound of the squall rampaging the stately trees,
and making them weep when the icy rain comes down with lightining. 


Sitting in a rattling, rocking chair, I peruse through pages of sunny places afar,
forgetting the dreariness of this frigid season and be consoled by a warm fire;  
and still nostalgia abounds...thinking of the pleasant strolls of a past season,
which thrilled me with its colors, and through delight I justified my reason. 


O winter, don't linger as you always have...shorten your stay, avoid foul play; 
and could I ever stand a pale sun, hardly giving off with its luminiscence,
in this house hidden among the maples and the pines of a squalid valley?
Old winter, don't mislead me with days without snow...that's utter pretense!


Goodbye explorer fedora hat keeping my dreamer's head cool, 
sparing my skin another ugly wrinkle, allowing late beauty to rule;   
goodbye iced coffee sipped from my Big Apple plastic cup,
which I bought along Fifth Avenue in a crowded, variety shop. 


Ummerciful winter, pity the desperate state I am in,
reduce the wrath of your devastation, step inside and to tell me your amazing tales...
hoping that I will write them down for everyone to read and enjoy for immortal ages;
relentless winter, reduce the dreariness of this frigid season.


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Haiku | |

Boy Is It Cloudy

a cotpit viewing
altitude eight hundred feet
cloud coverage below





Tribute To Flying High LOL


Details | Narrative | |

Sonnetina Sequence-THE RIPE ORCHARDS

September has come
and the ripe orchards
abundantly display their delicious fruits:
peaches of delicate rose,
and cherries of deep red!
Teens, with their empty baskets, 
anxiously run to pull them 
off the drooping branches;
and one of them yells,
" I have gotten the first one! " 



What a gleeful celebration for youngsters 
about to return to loved-and-hated school
with their band-new and heavy backpacks;
and they will write about these harvest's moments,
and wait with exciting eyes how their writings
will be scored by their teacher, and if someone 
should cheat, points will be taken away...so kids,
squash your curiosity and kindly behave!
All of them did their best in writing poems without rhyme,   
poems of a harvest with an aroma so fine!



The hot afternoon reddens the faces
of all the experienced fruit-pickers,
and these struggling young ones
can't speed up to their pace!
" Hurry, Jack...let Susan help
you with your over-loaded basket...
everyone has finished picking and gone! "
What a humorous remark that
even makes the sullen and tired sun 
smile...when his duty is coming to a sudden end!
 


Happily they trot out of the orchards, singing nursery' rhymes,
sustaining the heaviest load they have ever felt ,
not to let their baskets drop and give the watchful squirrels 
a chance to snatch some of the tempting fruits away!
And as they look up, dusk makes its appearance to scare them away!
And as if they were chased by unleashed dogs,
some fall, some run for their lives...an useless drama started by fancy!
Much fun they had, but unhappy about the bruises on their knees,
at least, they had one consolation: all the peaches and cherries they could eat!
And they laughed at each other, no one could ever forget about their fright!


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Senryu | |

Bikini

Bikini
From afar looked nude;
Her incarnate bikini,
The ocean’s beach rose.


Details | Rhyme | |

Watch the Snow

Sing to music of Deck the Halls




Watch the snow for big dog poopie
Ugh -ugh -ugh-ugh-ugh ugh -ugh-ugh -ugh
So unsightly, in a groupie
Ugh -ugh -ugh-ugh-ugh ugh -ugh-ugh -ugh
Look down now for those big accrue.
Ugh -ugh -ugh-ugh-ugh ugh -ugh-ugh -ugh
Roam your eyeballs, just before you.
Ugh -ugh -ugh-ugh-ugh ugh -ugh-ugh -ugh
Watch the russet pile before us.
Ugh -ugh -ugh-ugh-ugh ugh -ugh-ugh -ugh
Step up high and join the chorus.
Ugh -ugh -ugh-ugh-ugh ugh -ugh-ugh -ugh
Jumping up in measured sections
Ugh -ugh -ugh-ugh-ugh ugh -ugh-ugh -ugh
While they laugh with such infections
Ugh -ugh -ugh-ugh-ugh ugh -ugh-ugh -ugh


Go before the new snow covers
Ugh -ugh -ugh-ugh-ugh ugh -ugh-ugh -ugh
Brave the old pass, as light hovers.
Ugh -ugh -ugh-ugh-ugh ugh -ugh-ugh -ugh
Yell for joy now we made it home.
Ugh -ugh -ugh-ugh-ugh ugh -ugh-ugh -ugh
Never mind now, just a poem
Ugh -ugh -ugh-ugh-ugh ugh -ugh-ugh -ugh


Details | Haiku | |

There's No Place Like Home

the great sand bubbler
watches incoming ribbed tide
from burrows back home


Details | Quatrain | |

THE STINGING KIND

Jellyfish is the stinging kind,
it is found in droves
on our crowded beaches...
any little sting can drive anyone wild.


Yes, they are spineless, mordant and gelitous...
being closed watched by large gulls with a hungry palate,
but are chased away by dogs so ferocious;
I'm wondering how they will look and taste on my plate!


And still curious kids scoop them with plastic sand-shovels
and try to save them by dropping them in water-filled buckets,
running with excitement...ignoring the screams of their moms,
and they yell, " Put them down, they will sting you more than once!"


O jellyfishes, don't be vicious...we love you like shell-fish,  
if you could talk, your bizarre conduct won't be misunderstood by many! 
Is the water so polluted and infested with sharks that you flee from the sea, 
or are the fishermen so angry for wasted time on a worthless catch?


Details | Haiku | |

Armor Hotdog

bird of feather
flocks the all mighty sea shore
just for a hotdog






Tribute To
The Hotdog 
In All Of Us  LOL


Details | Rhyme | |

The Weary Winter Snow

The snow white blanket glistening
so brightly all around
has grown so very tired
as the winter's winding down.

Oh how we long for Springtimes' sun
to smile about the place
to melt the weary winter snow
and wash its' dirty face.

But when the old and forlorn snow
has melted we shall find
we'll curse all of the Springtime mud
that it will leave behind.




This was inspired by Moggie, the woman I was aid
and companion to, when she was commenting on
the dirty snow and said someone should write a
poem about it.  I wrote this for her and I wanted to
share this with you.   RG


Details | Ballad | |

epilogue to Walrus and Carpenter part II

                           II

So then Lion played on
    (though his five iron was gone)

'Cause he had lost it in the 'attack',

                                    of a Shark who had come

  to play through
                                   for he'd won

  all the tourney's on that
                                              Sea Tour to date,

  He had just finished his winning

                                              of the Gold Cup
                                    (while grinning),
                       the most prestigious award in the State,

and although Lion fought

Shark was not to be bought

   nor would his will be denied,

So he shot once again - an arrow
 
   (on hole number ten)

Yelling, "FORE" 
                             quite loudly, Shark cried,

  Well, the Lion got mad
                             (thinking Shark now, a cad),

So he took his five club

                                      and threw,

but the Shark simply laughed
                            and tapped on his Calf
  saying (under his breath),

                "Screw You"

"You should exit this course
 so I can play my friend, Horse,
Stop wasting my time
  You Big Fatty!!!"

  and he rode 
                   right on by
  to the next hole
                   (with a sigh)
and asked for  the putter
                  from his caddy...

At this Lion said, "Later" 
     and while looking at Gator,

    "Let's go to the clubhouse
             for drinks"

      and they're still there today
     (though they can't really play)

     On those phastasical
     Sea Worthy Links...


Details | Haiku | |

Feeding Frenzy~

innocent victim
jumping to swallow the bait~
I scrape away scales


Details | Limerick | |

Baubles, Bangles, And Nose Bleeds

You Quiz-puzzlers out there,
I hope you take care,
And don't sucumb to high blood pressure,
Please don't implode like the good sub, U.S.S. Thresher,
So take it in stride,
With the answers I do hide,
And you'll wake up all that much fresher


Details | Ottava rima | |

THE SNOWY CLIFFS WITH BOUFFANT BOULDERS

Even before the arrival of the first snows, so brilliantly candid, 
we climbed mounts less dangerous than the Alps's;
and we proudly chalked it up to our experience.
Now the snowy cliffs with bouffant boulders,
have lost their captious and so beatific image,
and quite too often we got pinched by burdock,
distracted by the robins chattering on a coarse descent;
I champed on crisp strawberries, while he challenged his strength.   



My buddy never castigated me for my bizarre behavior,
and I admired him for displaying  humor without repulsion, 
or retort, and with chisel and hammer we engraved faces of historic men
on the smoothest rocks which were replete with their handsomeness.
Those adventurous afternoons are repealed when we look up,
and recreate them through our Male Chauvinism, cheery not dumb;
we felt like cave men making rudimentary drawings of their hunted animals,
while their women picked wild chicory for an early dinner. 



Chums we were, resembling cowboys with wide hats in a chiaroscuro,
drinking in a bar filled with fashionable ladies frolicking and saying hello;
and chili con carne we ate, and plenty of beers to wash it down.
After our money was all squandered, our pockets were empty and we felt alone,
dazed...wobbling with fear, afraid to face our witless wives at home;
we were two idiots wooing empathy and some undeserving love.    
And didn't they seem two witches ready for vengeance in their frown,
trying to squeeze the truth out of our silent and pretentious mouths too fulsome?



Frost will bring winter soon, and the snowy cliffs with bouffant boulders will be covered,
our hair have turned almost white to match the bright color of the deep snows,
as this river is freezing up, to become a sheet of ice, where no boats or barges pass;
and we play chess, the intramural game of a confined life, without those clandestine affairs.
Our darlings approve with sweet intonation, intensifying their affection so amorous;
and we embrace them with that tenderness that they have long desired...
staring at the snowy cliffs with bouffant boulders that these two climbers made their own,
remembering the cold and the shivering...coming down to a valley of comfort and domain.


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Ballad | |

epilogue to Walrus and Carpenter

          I

4:forty 4 in the a.m. scene
   and I had been awakened by 
          the strangest of dreams:

     of an overdressed Lion,
                                          and Gator
And tales
                    of their peculiar golfcart

                    that was actually

two young whales,


  who would swim them around
  from each island and towne

while they both gorged upon snails...


Now, this twosome 
                            (I'm told)
did become very bold. 
  as they chided and ordered
                            these blowholes...

and while missing the goal
  (on each green, and each shoal)

would dig the sweet clams
  of each sand trap...

and then they'd partake
(with some lemon, and cake)

   leaving a trail of dead
                                shells by the golf map,


Said the Lion to He
                               that was all scale E:
                           "It's your shot, cause I'm closer 
                                                                       to Home"
                               so the Gator
                                                        (It's said)
                                    did square up his head
                             And swung 
                             while on his cell phone

                              to a blabbering Yak
                                     who had stopped 
                                            for a snack

                               of a thick shake
                                      and Cheesey
                                                   Big Mac...


  


     


Details | Rhyme | |

A BLUE RIBBON

I didn't take my umbrella, assuming
the weather wouldn't respond with a whiplash,
and on coarse sand I trudge, not thinking
of a cloudburst to induce fear and suddenly bash.


My grip on this balloon string has the strength of a cord,
in case those clouds belch and belie...
luckily its rapid ascent is not beclouded,
and the flight's climax holds my attention to excite me.


Floating balloon, don't let me off this cloud nine,
keep going further up until you are set free,
and that cloudburst, drunken with sunshine,
will not hinder your enthusiasm and make you bleary.  
 

Slowly come down, and I will catch you blithely,
as you bob, boasting a new win with a deflating burp,
crashing in my folded arms, to snuggle you contentedly...
here's a blue ribbon, weary balloon, for all the mirth.   


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Rhyme | |

A Sea Mole

I’ve seen some sand hills on the beach
There quite close in not hard to reach
Perhaps a sea mole has dug down deep
Making this sea mole hills so steep

The hills they are so very high
The moles must be so very shy
To have to dig into the beach
From predators keep out of reach

Though the size of the hills suggest they’re quite big
But suddenly I begin to twig
Here comes a great big dumper truck
It’s full of sand and other muck

There just cleaning the pathway by the beach what glee
And dumping the sand back where it should be
Though I think my sea mole theory sounds better it’s true
And the name for this mole?  I leave that up to you


Details | Rhyme | |

A Toast To Mom

oh the weather outside is frightful
and having snowball fights were so delightful

getting hit in the butt and head
then laughing cause you start seeing red

hooking on car bumpers for a little ride
wearing tennis shoes we did slip and slide

mama yelling to get off or you'll be dead
we never listened to what she had said

socks for gloves to keep little hands warm
even amidst a blizzards storm

soaked from head to foot
looking like santa's outfit full of soot

but what I remember about fun the most
was waiting for mama's hot coco and apple butter toast


on that speical Christmas morning day
before the Lord had came and taken her away


   {R.I.P. Mama}


Happy Holidays All
Love Kathy And Jenny

Also Entry For 
Deborah Guzzi's
Holiday Songs In Poem Form
Gl All


Details | I do not know? | |

Ode To A Turkey

Gobble gobble here comes trouble
Every year this time comes a struggle
Will I be the one for the pot this time?
Is the major worry on my mind
O where can I run and hide?
When my girth is so wide?

Listen please to some sound advice
Why celebrate Thanksgiving with my demise?
Why not choose a chicken? You would be surprised
More time spent with family dinner ready in a flash
You would be ‘going green’ you’ll save some cash
Just imagine what you’d do with all that stash


Details | Rhyme | |

Haggis " ever caught one? "

Welcome world as you read this poem

Its about the Haggis

Scottish Highlands they roam

 

The lowland Haggis with legs the same

Evolution from the Highlands they came

 

But the truer beasts, rarely in sight

Run through the hills left and right

 

With one set of legs longer than the other

On the steep Scottish slopes

They don't fall over

 

With the world in recession 

We have a tourist boom

Highland Safari's

Have lifted the gloom

 

So book now to catch your own

Take a photo, email it home

So come the summer, they hibernate

Get on that plane, before its too late


Details | Free verse | |

HAZEL-EYED MA GREW THE LOVELIEST BEGONIAS

Hazel-eyed Ma grew the loveliest begonias
on her neat and colorful balcony; and if rains
were scarce, she would water them...
until the fragrant buds would bloom!
 

Exactly at eight o' clock, for three seasons,
she tendered for them with her caring hands;
and no weeds would mar their beauty so exquisite...
all the nuns came rushing from the Convent!


Sing, adorable mother, sing another aria...the happiest one,
as you caress your flowers with the gentlest touch;
crowds will gather underneath your festive balcony, to listen
with interest and acclaim you for your superb vocals! 


Hazel-eyed Ma grew the loveliest begonias not seen
in the most spacious and elegant gardens;
she suddenly was known as the flower woman,   
but also became the envy of many housewives.    


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Acrostic | |

You've Been Warned

Holy Crap
Another year slips away
Put on like 30 pounds
Pertty hard to take off
You see I like sea food I see it and eat it

Now with muse in hand
Even Jenny Crank has stepped up to the plate
With how to shed 14 inches off waistline in 1 week

You first have to eat 2 bars of exlax chocolate of course
Even choke down some of grannys castrol oil
Ass will be sore for a little while
Remember though the box and bottle does say warning 




Little Pun For The New Me

Happy New Year's All

Also Entry For Carol Brown's 
Acrostic Happy New Year Contest GL ALL


Details | Narrative | |

I'm Just What Your Looking For

since the year of 1952 the city of st paul Minnesota holds
their annual treasure hunt the king and queen of snows
goes out to a city park and hides a medallion worth
10,000 dollars if you are the winner and your carnaville
button is register with the st paul pioneer press
which gives out 12 cryptic clues and this little medallion
could be wrapped in just about anything from diapers to cookies 
and the frigid weather here just may make you want to just
stay by the fireplace and sip on hot coco with family and friends
even lucky finder gets to ride along with the king and queen of snow
in the closing ceremony of it's torchlight parade
also watch out for the vulcans krewe for they like to dethrone the king
and leave you with a black smudges across your sweet cheeks





Tribute To The Winter Carnaville
BURRRRRRRRRRR LOL

Carnaville runs
Jan 21-31 

Also Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Christmas In Your Town Contest


Details | Free verse | |

Bee's

{bee's}

the dancing machines
please stay away from everyone's knees
you very nasty

{bee's}

Please please please
stay away from especially
my knees you very nasty 
and honorable theives

{bee's}

so please fly off to those daisies
for these these these are the only way I want it to

{ bee's }





Little Song Jenny And I came Up When She Was 4 LOL 
Thanks All For Stopping

Also Entry For Matt Caliri's Contest
Funnest-hardest Poem Ever


Details | Free verse | |

VINCENT'S REVENGE

                                            Oh
                                             My
                                             God!
                                     It’s a real head
                             But treated like a pumpkin
                       Deep eyes      two holes for a nose
                      And a mouth            red as hell’s fire
                         Flames are coming out each hole
                           We understand  Vincent Price
                                Was mad at his producer
                                    Chop!………Chop!


Details | Free verse | |

It's Magic!

It’s Magic!

FOR MY NEXT TRICK,
I’ll take away what is making
Everyone sick around here.

I’ve been hired by BP to
make the oil spill magically disappear.

Hocus pocus! Abracadabra!
Here take this pill,
wear this amulet spelling
ABRACADABRA to ward off this disease,
and put on these rose-colored glasses.

That black splat out
there is just whack!

According to BP,
It’s really just a
big blob of bird crap!


CATCH PHRASE POEM ENTRY


Details | Haiku | |

I'm Feeling Kinda Of Crabby Today

                                                    as the low tide sets
                                           sand bubbler emerge burrow
                                                      quickly sifting grains


Details | Haiku | |

Cough It Up

deep in the valley
cumulus congestus skies
coughing up a storm



Also Entry For 
Raul Moreno's 
Inspiration In Haiku Contest


Details | Couplet | |

log book

From a ship’s logbook 

Sat on deck another long day I smelled of chippy fat 
and the sweat of honest labour  

The stove in the galley was oil fired but I wanted to 
read a few poems before I had a shower. 

The light wasn’t any good so I read a western book,
 as I always had wanted to be a sheriff in Texas. 

The book was good I knew the words before I read
 them, fell asleep when I awoke it was midnight

I knocked on my cabin door, give roaches a change 
escape; impossible long days and blithe was the sea 

In the morning I was still reeking of chippy fat and it 
was too late to have a shower.     


Details | Rhyme | |

Hey Dude

Hey dude you think your so bad
you went out and shot your dad
just cause he dressed in plaid
reminded you of that dick channey lad

Hey dude dont feel so scared
for you should of seen my standing hairs
while you were pointing that shotgun everywhere
just glad it wasn't I standing so close there


And to think dude my heart didn't jump
come a little closer for I think I just took a dump
but let me go check behind  this nice little stump
cracking a smile all the way from my rump

Hey dude your so gross
but its you who I love the most
as I raise this shotgun and toast
I see you running for the coast

So run dude as fast as you can
from any guy thinking they have a safe plan
let them go and join another rock band
for you can still think your life is so grand


Hey dude you think your so bad
now your the one dressed in all plaid
thirthy years for shooting that dad
now dick chaney's singing sorry and it's so sad

La La La La 
La La La La

Hey dude



Footnote  I Chose Hey Jude



Tribute To Gun Safty

Also Entry For John Heck's
Beatlemania Sing-Along
GL All


Details | Light Poetry | |

Got Turkey

Turkey
    Let's See

        Gobble
            Wobble

               Get Stuffed
                    That's Rough

                           Gizzards
                               The Squirts

                                     Wishbone
                                         Hell Zone
                                                Pure Heart
                                                      Boiled Tart

                                                          Legs   Breast
                                                                Just   Test
                                                                                                                       
                                                                    Thighs Wing
                                                                          Just Sing
                                                                                     
                                                                                   Choke Neck
                                                                                          Yes Heck
                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                 Got Tom
                                                                                                      He's Bomb





Tribute To
Thankgiving
 And To
BUTTERBALL TURKEYS LOL


Also Entry For
Donna Golden's
Turkey Tribute
GL All


Details | Blank verse | |

welcome onboard

Welcome onboard
 
I don’t care to read of other people dreams it has nothing to do with 
me, so I will tell you a real story. The day after my anniversary I walked 
along the docks of Faro saw a sign, a cargo ship needed a chief steward. 
I walked up the gangway, spoke to the captain and got the job.  
 On deck when the provision arrived; I was in charge just like before.  
The captain came he looked baffled; according to my passport I was 73 
and far too old to join a ship. The master thanked me, getting victuals 
onboard signing for them and getting the  food stuff safely stored. 
The ship left without me but her captain saluted me, it was raining no 
one saw my tears. Whatever I do these days even driving a car there are 
people telling me I’m too old. Yet in Japan their oldest porno star, a man 
of 77 and still working, so why will they not let me go back to sea again? 


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Windy Jade Green Sea Frenzy

Whooosh! Brrrrr...icy!..North wind in a steady gale blowing hard.

Whipping up the  green sea into a jade and white peaked frenzy.

The water turning to  an  ultramarine blue on  the misty  horizon
 
Dappled  clouds  echo a  scaly sea pattern in the lavender  sky .

The cool  Winter sun  shyly  peeking through  the cloudy canvas.

Walking with  the wind a woman with  a  whippet braces bravely.

Facing the salt spray and a wild sea  the wind carries her along.

Burnt sienna sponge corals daley with  red rubber spike corals

Empty crab shells crunched under moon crescent horse shoes 


Details | Light Poetry | |

I'm Really Teed Off {Footle}

tee off
    love golf

               in rough
                        get tough
 
                                sand trap
                                          oh crap

                                              on green
                                                      get mean

                                                              in cup
                                                                   ker plup

                                                                             just par
                                                                                     so far
            
                                                                                        next hole
                                                                                                    let's go

                                                                                                             golf pro
                                                                                                                      hell no




Tribute To Golfers
Time To Tee Off
See Ya On Back 9   L0L


Details | I do not know? | |

SEAN MCGREW

And have you heard the story 
Of Captain Sean McGrew,
Who sailed the mighty oceans, 
In a square rigged wooden shoe?
                                                  
His first mate was a salty dog
From east of Lilla Bay.
The ship's crew hailed from Lilligo,
In Lilliput, they say.     

Then one sad day, he lost his ship,
His crew, and all his loot,  
To a roguish band of pirates, 
In a rapid sailing, chukka boot.  


Details | Sonnet | |

The Note

I was corner-stoned by many of you.
The note was dotted with a dash.
But this note was an ultimate smash.
I found a peephole and peeped through.
 
I found a bird gave him the note and away he flew,
Across the deserts and the valleys he was there in a flash,
Across the rivers and Oceans he made a great big splash.
He made it to the shore, but the note he began to chew.
 
He passed a timely test,
And his belly was full,
He did not stop to rest,
The note he had to pull.
 
The bird landed on the Oceans shore,
Singing praises of his rugged chore.


Details | Haiku | |

Cat Chow Chow Chow

                                                       underwater pose
                                                   flounder bellies afloat free
                                                     cattails sway swiftly


Details | Couplet | |

Manatee or Mermaid

Goodbye .....
she whispered from afar
The wind took words away
and scattered them
 along the beach
where lovers used to play

 I chased the syllables and nouns
I gathered up the thoughts
but currents in the water found
the letters I had caught

I still can't understand or hear
the bubbles  that she blew,
landing lightly  on the waves
a surface love so new.

I sank beneath the  waters 
a deeper love to find,
the heavy words like loyalty
and truth were on my line,

but I found only adverbs
Of  when and why and how
I left my love note at the shore ,
who needs an old sea cow?








Details | Cinqku | |

SHIP IT GREEN

Tempest
falls upon
the tea clipper-
time to toss the
biscuits.


Details | I do not know? | |

Bikini top

(This is a fictional poem)

When I went to the beach, the men beat me fiercely and they wouldn't stop.
It happened when a girl in a bikini lost her top.
The men got angry when I gave her my shirt.
They chased me down and I got hurt.
After beating me to a pulp, they threw me in the sea.
A shark came along and took a chunk out of me. 
I left the beach because it's untelling what would've happened if I'd stayed.
I won't go back because I'm afraid.


Details | Couplet | |

Shanghaied

  I toweled off my tear soaked face
and stitched my heart back into place,
I tallied up my circumstance
and then I took a ship to France

  I boarded early after noon,
I think it was a night in June
I went below because of rain,
and when I came back up again,
I think I must have had a spell,
the sky was dark,I couldn't tell,
what was what ,nor,who was who,
I didn't know just what to do,
 
  A swarthy pirate with a sword,
proffered whiskey in a gourd,
He slapped my back and sang a song,
about a sailor who went wrong,

  A drunk guy with his belly shaved,
by rusty razors,met his grave,
with Davy Jones,I think he said,
anyway...the bloke is dead.

  I tried to ask a question here,
like "Where is this?"
but then I fear,
a cannon cracked the sultry night,
a sound that filled my soul with fright.

  Then Captain Jack came swinging down,
{a parrot beat him to the ground}
He put a pistol in my hand
and said....
"Look sharp,it's war, my man!!"
A shanghai plot  I realized,
had taken my life by surprise.


Details | Lyric | |

Lifes An Ocean

For Anne


Life 4 me, is like an ocean.

To be knocked down, a normal motion.

Get back up, waves knock me down.

I try again, & I nearly drown.

Won’t give up, it’s part of life.

Would not feel right, without the strife.

Can try to take an easier way.

But F.Y.I., the waves will stay.

So take a note, this is my gift.

Go with the flow, ya get my drift?




Details | Quatrain | |

ON THE WIND'S CURRENT

On the wind's current,
face-swept and braving fret;
I push forward...facing a tough day,
never fainthearted: merrily drifting away!


I challenge my strength,
to fuse more enthusiasm;
to beat the puzzled clouds with ingenuity,
and they, frustrated, initiate a plot against me!


I laugh, making them infuriated,
and they respond with stronger blows;
thinking they can't be imitated!
Don't they know that I watch all their moves?


Call me a marine or a sky-diver,
I may not look too convincing for a liar;
the open sky lets me on the wind's current,
lifting me off the earth to deliver my stunt!


Where are my rivals?  Are they hiding or 
planning my imminent defeat?
I may be too naive to cheat,
but I am as swift as a hunting panther!


On the wind's current so rough,
aware and attentive, I make my living;
chasing the fearless eagles with a bluff,
vulnerable...yes, but unafraid and willing! 
   

Copyright by Andrew Crisci


Details | Rhyme | |

The S.S.Politician

Loaded with whisky,
She sailed through the night,
But the sea was as rough as could be,
The crew did their best as they sailed through the isles,
But hit rocks around quarter to three,

Theuy all got off board and into a raft,
And managed to make it to shore,
Alerted the locals of this tragic event,
And the cargo she had in her store,

Making sure they were safe,
And out of harms way,
The locals set out on their boats,
This cargo was here for the taking,
And they'd take all as long as she floats,

They filled their boats with all they could,
Sailed back and forth till dawn,
Hid the cargo everywhere,
Until the ship was down and gone,

Customs and Police arrived at the scene,
And interviewed every man that they could,
Some of the locals could hardly stand,
And the rest just not understood,

And still to this day on Eriskay,
There's still a few bottles appear,
And out of the 24000 missing,
I wonder how many were here ?


Details | Burlesque | |

Memory

I remember my memory......vaguely
I think I do, I guess...
But sometimes I'm not so sure....
My brain just seems a mess

I was what I was,
And I am what I am
And Popeye I don't claim to be,
If you really must know,
I'm frightened to travel on the sea

Maybe if I ate more spinach,
My lost years will fall in place
Hopefully that's the outcome
Rather than me falling on my face


Details | Alliteration | |

S'Time

Summer sultry sweat
Sends sea-dwellers,
Seeking some solace,
Softly… 
Sensually…
Seductively…
Satiating some.
Simply satisfying!
So, succumbing,
Seems so seductively soothing,
Simply stated!


Details | Rhyme | |

RETAW

What follows the river, but goes nowhere,
Lives under the trees, and in the air
Yet you see it here, you see it there,
Oh yes, You see it everywhere.
I don’t know that it is,
I don’t know that it isn’t.
Hide your eyes, and its back in an instant.
It is as smooth as glass, but rough as can be.
It flies so high yet never moves,
Yet moves so fast, In the groves.
It falls down, then goes up.
What’s that in your cup.
Now I know that just gave it away,
Oh darn oh darn, it’s here to stay,
But this is good ,cause it aint bad,
Think of all the fun we’ve had. 
You think you know it,
Come now please show it.
It’s as red as wine, it is as black as coffee,
What oh what can it be.
You can feel it when it falls 
You can feel it when it rises
You can feel it when it surprises.
We need it to grow,
We need it to snow.
We need it to help the rivers flow.
Now I know you must have it,
And I am not trying to hide it, Maybe.
So what oh what can it be?
Well excuse me, But I must go pee.
Ah ha now we know it,
But it is not, Just similar to the lot.
Now I must go and help it flow.
But the answer I will tell you,
In backwards form,
So you cant look at it, And cause us harm.
Retaw is it’s name,
And yes it has so much fame.
It causes destruction.
It causes construction.
It is something we cannot live without.
So now you know it and you don’t need to pout.


Details | Free verse | |

Life In The Dead Sea

Between Jordan and Israel lies the Dead Sea 
biblically known as Sodom and Gomorrha, 
salty waters where no living thing breathes 
and no known fish in its currents frolicks. 

Just how salty is the Dead Sea? 
take a bucket and fill half of it with salt, 
add an equal amount of water, then stir it; 
that could not be sweet, would you agree? 

I took a dip that burned my eyes red in the sea of the dead, 
its density making this non-swimmer float like I was dead,
I just could not sink! 

If you suffer from high blood pressure don't you swim there, 
take heed from one that the doctor advised of salt to beware, 
who did not listen to his medical advice and dived anyway 
and what did I get? systolic and diastolic counts of 150/110 
that meant more Tenormin pills to keep a heart attack away.

Salts form into solid rocks along the Dead Sea's shore
and just about everywhere are gigantic white crystals; 
a harsh, non life-giving body of water, maybe? 

Not exactly!
because the sediments of the Dead Sea is a cottage industry; 
scoop up a mound of black mud, rub it on your face and body, 
presto! you will get skin smoother than a baby's bottom! 
due to dissolved chemicals with therapeutic properties
that smoothen, cleanse and purify a crocodile’s skin. 

Wanna buy a bar of soap made out of Dead Sea mud? 
Hurry, first come, first served, stock is limited!