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Girl Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Girl

These Girl Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Girl. These are the best examples of Girl Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

Details | I do not know? | |

Nasty girl

   There you go again doing things that you are not suppose to be in and then you look at 
me like oh i'm so sweet if you only knew I can be a freak without showing it. Here they 
go listening to the rumors but i'm your friend so in the end I know that they are true. 
How could you do that with him and her and they were on the ground you were pretending to 
pick up gum? You need to be safe, making out with strangers girl I aint no saint but god 
what are you doing? I don't want to see you years from now telling me you got aids, I 
worry about you and I feel like your special so I even wrote about you come on look how 
much you mean to me. You like him I get it but how many other guys have you liked in the 
past. He's your only, he's a phony make sure he's not just in it for the prize because 
girl you never know some guys are. It's the truth and you need to listen, I don't mean to 
sound bossy but soon enough your name is going to be posted on all the bathrooms walls. 
Telling things that you haven't even done yet. But you will front about it, Lie again. 
Telling everyone it's happened how do we know what's real or fake. I love your 
personality I wish I could steal it, Your loud, and flirty, daring and smart girl you got 
too much heart to be showing it to everyone who wants a sip. this is for all the nasty 
girls out there who think I don't know what i'm saying just ask anyone of them who are 
dead now or are on the streets prostitiuting. Don't be afraid to be a freak it's healthy 
but sometimes it's better when it's secret closet freaks have more fun.


Details | Lyric | |

You Won't Tell Them How You Lied

[verse-1]
Tonight it feels like, the end of the world
Tonight you showed me, you were never my girl
I wonder do you know, what my heart is doing
Well girl it's breaking in two, since you've gone

[verse-2]
Go ahead tell those lies, to all your friends
Go ahead tell them, what a big fool i've been
I wonder will you tell them, you have a heart of stone
Or will you call them, and joke about me on the phone

[chorus]
Well be sure to tell them, how you broke my heart
And how funny it was, when I set down and cried
Tell them how, you tore my world apart
'Cause I know, you won't tell them how you lied

[verse-3]
You're gonna have to be careful, when you're drinking
You're gonna have to be sober, when you're bragging
You'll have to learn to shut your mouth, when your wasted
Or everyone will no your a liar, and how your mind is twisted

[chorus]
Well be sure you tell them, how you broke my heart
And how funny it was, when I set down and cried
And tell them how, you tore my world apart
'Cause girl I know, you won't tell them how you lied


Details | Imagism | |

My Secret Love Affair

Even though our time is just
A moment here and there
To me you’ll never be 
The average everyday affair

I know I’m just a picture 
In the memory of your mind
The girl you keep a secret
The girl you leave behind

There was a time I’d lay awake 
And dream of you and I
There was a time I wanted more
There was a time I’d cry

For love is never easy
When it’s given just by one
Love is never easy 
When for him it’s just for fun

Love is never easy 
When you think that it’s for real
But when the spell is broken
It's not love, but lust you feel

Your dreams diminish one by one
Illusions fade away
And in their place reality
Has come to have its say

So now I know the secret 
To a passionate affair
To just enjoy the moment
To live without a care

To take each moment as it comes 
With eyes now open wide
But always with your secret love
You just enjoy the ride...


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Fashion of Passion

I saw a girl whose legs were spangled,
They were so long that they easily tangled.
And when she wore her high heeled shoes,
She was a package no man could refuse.
Because when she walked she started to sway,
And set things in motion just the right way.
Lines of young men will stare as she passes,
Hoping for a smile or a bat of her lashes.
But the beautiful girl can’t stop to flirt,
Because her shoes make her feet hurt.
And all she wants is to walk in bare feet,
So when each day ended she’d always retreat.
Off came her shoes when she entered the door.
Because of the pain that she couldn’t ignore.
She’d rub her feet with a smile on her face,
Remembering how well she’d run the day’s race.
The look in their eyes gave her great satisfaction,
She’d received the rewards of each man’s reaction.
Alone in her room she’d sit with her prize,
Her two feet swollen to the next larger size.
I’m not sure which ones are more confused,
The girl herself or the men that she’d used,
To me it seems that she’s playing a game,
And when she wins it she’s alone and lame.
I don’t really get just why she’d play,
What dividends can it possibly pay?
I guess it depends on defining your passion,
And I’ve never been one to understand fashion.

For the Genius or Criminal? contest


Details | Free verse | |

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!


Details | Couplet | |

HELLO KITTY

There sits my bonnie girl, frilly, lacy, all pink and pretty She boasts of an enviable collection of cute stuff - all Hello Kitty! A pearly, stone-studded shiny pink Kitty bracelet With matching rings and hair clips to tame her silky ringlets, A stylish pair of pink comfy kitty flip-flops To go with her smooth stretchy night wear tops! A sassy little Hello Kitty cross-sling bag she wears Pairing up with chic pink-framed kitty glares, Kitty pencils, erasers and rulers in a well-stocked tuck box Her fancy kitty pouches and folders she invariably locks! A multi-compartment kitty wallet to hoard her loose change All geared for summer with her Hello kitty swimming range, A glittery Kitty lunch box to pack her school snack As she sets off with her pink kitty back pack, Water tastes better in a kitty sippy water-bottle Pink all the way, for nothing else she'll settle! She'd paint the world kitty pink, if the choice is hers Well, I wouldn't be surprised if one fine day she purrs!! 19th Jan 2013


Details | Limerick | |

There Once was a Girl Named Lilly

There once was a girl named Lilly
who often liked to be silly
she put a spoon upon her nose
then she wrote a bit o' prose
and called it mexican chilly !


Details | Limerick | |

Birds -N- Bees

Your raging hormones you must ignore
For desires will shake you to your core
Listen to your heart 
Before you embark
Make love with someone you truly adore.

Sciences class teaches us what we should know
About body parts and where they should go
Willie goes in Muff
Quicken breaths we huff
All consumed till body fluids flow.

But alas the girl did not have none
Boy finished before girl was done
He is satisfied
She is horrified
Damn the hype about two joining as one.


Details | Limerick | |

Ego Elevator

Stop by for a six-pack of beer
‘Hello!’ Smiles the pretty cashier
‘May I see your ID?
(Are you KIDDING me?
You just made my day AND my year!)

‘Store policy’ She says with a blush
(Is she FLIRTING? Does she have a crush?)
Intuition grows crisper
When I hear a soft whisper
‘Anyway, are you in a big rush?’


Details | Narrative | |

Red In The Inside, But Black In The Outside

This Poem is about the 'hard to get' attitude ladies portray to interested guys.

Despite my unbelievable swag repugnance is her reaction to my flow despite giving no attention to her she seeks every opportunity to shout "NO!" I seldom want to be friendly but she spits on me like a bitter foe I then don't give a damn about her and she takes it like a heavy blow Out of nothing, she creates a scene but all I can do is shake my head and say Oh! the more I mingle, the worse she gets but I'll not succumb and act so low she flaunts her male acquaintances for me to notice Okay! You have admirers, so? I guessed this is a one time attitude but it has been occurring seven weeks in a row When I register my presence around her her body rhythm increases as if in physio trying so hard to pretend makes her seem like a shy dancing Buffalo Then, I make her seem not existing it's not my fault; you reap what you sow signs of her sufferings begin to show as her body trembles in sight of me from head to toe what a pleasant feeling this brings seeing her drown in her own woe Finally! She concedes defeat and already surrendering showing by the way she's changing like melting snow now playing the nice girl, but my ignore? Makes her want to stone me with a Hoe I'm beginning to compromise emotionally too and I'm scared she will get fed up and go so, I create my chance and kiss her as she shows her joy like a swelling dough revealing her hypocrisy, exhibited right from the beginning. Since this feeling is now reciprocated, she shrugs off the attitude and dumps it below as a new damsel now emitting with an everlasting glow.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Dear Miss Monkey Manners VIII

You can't tell me that you didn't see this coming.

Dear Miss Monkey Manners, can you spare a minute? 
I know that you help apes in trouble and I am knee deep in it. 
I have a girl I’ll call Mary Beth, she’s the banana of my eye, 
But I found out that she’s been seen swinging with another guy. 
I could accept it if it were another ape but this guy is a human man, 
I’ve asked around and in the jungle he calls himself Tarzan. 
I’ve been working my way up in hopes of one day leading the troupe, 
Until now I’m finally the most respected challenger in the group. 
I think that I might be alpha worthy, I hope so, but here’s the thing 
Everyone in the whole dang jungle now refers to him as king. 

Dear Alpha male wannabe, are you saying that you know Tarzan? 
If you know where he’ll be on Saturday night, I think I have a plan. 
I know that you want her back and I’m sure that your girl is sweet, 
But only I can do the things that will make his life complete. 
You see he and I have dated before and I know what makes him fall, 
I can do something special for him that’s how he got his jungle call. 
Once we’re back together he won’t remember your girl’s name, 
Then you can be her hero and free her from this shame. 
And as for me and Tarzan, well you’d better stick a banana in your ear, 
Because the screaming sounds of the king are the only sounds you’ll hear.


Details | Limerick | |

Now What Do You Want On Your Pizza

I ordered a large pizza pie
What do you want on it asked guy
His question a pearl
Set my mind awhirl
A sexy young girl answered I


Details | Limerick | |

Ilene Bauer - Funny Girl Extraordinaire

Ah, the brilliant wit of Ilene Bauer

   Her poems entertain me by the hour

      No matter what she squiggles

         She's sure to educe giggles

            Brightening my mien when I am dour

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Light Poetry | |

One Night in Stroud

I stumbled drunkenly through Stroud
Passed the kebab van on the hill,
When all at once I saw a crowd
Of ladettes – taunting the old bill;
Just for a lark, just for a wheeze,
Flirting and dancing, dressed to tease.

Bedecked with bling, drinking cheap wine,
A clowder of cats out to play,
Perfume and bags by Calvin Klein
All you can eat slapper buffet.
Looking for violence not romance,
Tossing the V’s in fighting stance.

The plods approached askance, as they
Ignored them and crouched down to pee;
The deluge nearly washed away,
The council’s prized floral display! 
I gazed – amazed - at just how short;
Their skirts were and indeed how taut.

Often now – I sit down and cry
(Sometimes it puts me off my food) 
When I recall what I did spy
The female form so crass and rude;
Those harpies in search of cheap thrills,
Stooped - pissing on the daffodils.



(apologies to Mr Wordsworth)


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Limerick | |

A Girl Named Rose

There was a young lady named Rose
Who lit her a fire when the wind blows.
Her house went to flame,
Firemen had came,
When she played with the fireman's hose.


06-19-2014


Details | Ballade | |

Lisa Maree

Dedicated to my darling daughter. Lisa Maree, the kindest girl in the world


Lisa Maree

Lisa Maree, you baffle me
You just don’t seem to care
You throw your money all around
And people who won’t share
Will try to take you for a ride
And you can’t always see
What some folk try to do to you
You’ve too much trust in thee.

Lisa Maree, it’s plain to see
That you’re a special girl
Though sometimes you go off on one
And mind goes in a whirl
Your heart is gold, pure solid gold
You’re as soft as heated honey
You have a sense of humor too
You even think 'you’re' funny.

Some might find you hard to take
These fickle kinds of folk
Will run you down for being you
And treat you like a joke
But fickle folk don’t mean a thing
You’re far above the rest
When you are helping someone out
That’s when you’re at your best.

23 August 2013 @ 1817hrs





Details | Free verse | |

Everybody

Love me tonight girl we won't meet again ,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby, ha ha ha ha,
Let your body decide what it does ,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
I know it's straight to the point,
But I'd rather be straight up and straight forward,
Instead of playing with your heart and your mind,
Games are waste of time, now we can do the nasty,
And do what the do and see what the does,
Either we gonna love what we do to each other,
Or just let it be what it was,
No harm, no foul, no commitment, no vows,
Maybe a contract or two,
But by that time I'm already tired of the way you like it, oh,
And let your body decide, exactly what it does,
But it's no secret baby, everybody fücks,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody fücks,
Now I can hear your body calling me,
Tell me what it is, what's gon be,
Only got one night cause I'm...,
Lil mama is a bad one, ain't she? 
Maybe she might be a little timid,
Love when I get it,
Or I might even give a text when I'm finish,
Been doing all this talking, let's get it,
And you can tell me what you wanna do,
I guarantee you can do that,
Or you can teach me like a thing or two,
But I bet you I already knew that,
So one night one time baby girl,
Let's take this chance,
We ain't trying to be love strung,
But I know that Everybody ****s,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
Let your body go, let your feeling show,
Say what's on your mind, I already know,
I can read your eyes, see your body sign,
(Every sign you give baby) with a little bump and grind,
Nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Baby there ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
There ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Baby there ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
Believe that believe that baby,
Everybody ****s…


Details | Limerick | |

A Pricey Valentine

My valentine ever to be.
The girl of my dreams came to me.
   She wanted to play
   so I had to pay.
Satisfaction is guaranteed
 
My valentine's price was too much.
Her business kept all men in touch.
   Appointments were made
   Men met in the shade.
A call girl I found out as such!  

My valentine's not what she said.
I found out her heart was not red.
   She took all I had.
   But man she was bad.
Was worth it I took her to bed!! 


Written for Francine Roberts Valentine's Day Limerick


Details | Personification | |

Quips My Ex-gIRL frIEND THE CRERAL KILLER




      *******************

I woke up this morning
Went to the kitchen
Looking for some-thing
To eat....
      ------
For this morning
I was on a mission
      ------
I went in-to the Cabinet
To open my favorite box
It was closed and It was sealed
I shook it, yet
I could not hear...
Surely they were gone'
And so was my last beer'
    -------
Fore there in the box
Their wasn't a sound
So, I placed it on the table
Then I sat down,
      -----
Only something was strange
I couldn't figure it out
So, I clinched my mouth
And dumped the whole
Thing out....
      ------
I was looking for some-thing
That sweet taste for my mouth
But, that nice crispy cereal
Was gone...
         With-out a doubt...
      ------
I ran to the bed room
And looked on the floor
Their was an empty bowl
The milk was still cold
      -------
So, I was perplexed
Didn't know what to say next
      -------
My EX was sleep
On her mouth I could smell CHEXS
      -----
But, what could I do
Cause I wouldn't go near her
       ------
Was this a thought
Or could it be real
It was so...
That was my best meal
      ------l
My ex-GirL fRiend
Has just killed my last
Box of CHEKS
What will she do next
Heavens' why me
      -----
She is a Cereal Killer
Can't you see?

                 GF


Details | Couplet | |

Diamonds in the sky - A girl's starry friends

a world changing impact a horrific explosion leaving a crater sixty two miles wide                loss of life can not be estimated an asteroid slams into Russia's countryside        -                               -                                                                                          But It may be the death of a diamond cartel for this event happened long ago                    and far away leaving diamonds all over this giant diamond clustered  bowl              -           -                                                                                                                           Trillions of carats fell more best friends than a woman could ever wear                            diamond remnants scattered from the sky is why cartels beware                         - John Beam


Details | Limerick | |

Day One To Three

Day one of my regular period,
He always think I’m not in good mood;
         Seeing me, he runs away
         Do you think I like that way?
My heart isn’t hard as piece of wood.

He’s still single  and he lives alone,
He doesn’t know woman’s situation;
         Wearing napkins in three days
          So uneasy on my ways,
Yet, he’s seeking special attention.

Day two comes, he’s still so hesitant,
He wants me to shout at a distant;
         Is he gentle man or gay?
         He believes what other’s say
On monthly days, I’m not impatient!

Third day is said to be our last day,
Here he comes saying, “Babe, I’m sorry”
        Can I make love with you now?
        I believe you, I swear- bow.
Babe, it’s my third day, please go away.

July 4, 2013




Note:
Some people believe  that some women aren’t in good mood during their monthly period. But, for me, I don’t know;))))) . What I know is, I just love sleeping during these days. I’m always so so sleepy;))))))). 

 This was especially inspired by the Day One Poem writing contest of  my dearest poet sis Linda. The poem was closed when I was about to enter. Anyway,  I’m still sharing it with you  trying my best again to make you smile. I hope you’ll like it & I hope I did this limerick right. It’s my second attempt to write this form. Thank you so much & have a nice weekend!


Details | Free verse | |

In love for the first time and counting

It's all Ok
the birds are chirping
the sky is blue
the trees are green 
and so are you
i fell in love
for the first time
my girl is pretty
my girl is smart
she never burps
she never farts
she is an angel
and she is fun
nothing is missing
and it's all fine
today i'm trying to be nice
see the gay couple down the street
kissing each-other like little birds
the neighbor is common thief
must have a strong reason for it
my boss can keep more
from my paycheck
and go away and take a break
i'll work for you my entire life
and don't pay me the  overtime 
today Snooki looks just like J Lo
and the mule next door
like Barry White
God this is just a perfect day
i'm all pumped-up
and that's OK...







Details | Free verse | |

yippi-yi-yo-ki-ya

yippi-yi-yo
take control
be tough
cowgirl

strap on those six-guns
silver spurs
and leather
cowboy chaps

throw on the saddle
and ten-gallon cowboy hat
mount him slowly
and keep it steady
there now

speed it up
pull back hard
and ride him rough
be tough
cowgirl

yippi-yi-yo
ki-ya





Details | Light Poetry | |

A Good Night's Sleep

When King David was old they covered him in clothes, but he got no heat,
So they sought for him a pretty girl who was innocent and sweet.

Let her stand before you lord and in your bosom nestle,
We think that it might warm you up if you should start to wrestle.

So they tacked up signs all through the land and put an ad in the paper,
“Wanted one beautiful girl to sleep with the king;” it really was a caper.

One day Abishag the Shunammite came to interview for the position,
They could see that she was qualified there was no need for an inquisition.

For Abishag was a beauty rare with charms displayed in generous proportions,
And was so flexible that she could warm a king with several notable contortions.

There was a time in King David’s life when this would run into trouble deep,
But he was now way too old and he just wanted to get some sleep.

What if this would have remained the accepted way to beat the winter chills,
I can tell you one thing for sure; no one would have invented sleeping pills.

And even though it’s in the Bible it won’t ever be a part of my life,
I don’t think that I’d be able to talk fast enough to ever convince my wife.


The First Book of Kings - Chapter 1
1:1Now king David was old and stricken in years; and they covered him with clothes, but he got no heat. 1:2Therefore his servants said to him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and cherish him; and let her lie in your bosom, that my lord the king may keep warm. 1:3So they sought for a beautiful young lady throughout all the borders of Israel, and found Abishag the Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 1:4The young lady was very beautiful; and she cherished the king, and ministered to him; but the king didn't know her intimately.