Everyone has a good old time
They’re written in songs, they’re written in rhyme,
They have their own days or have their own season,
And none of those guys get more applause
Than that fat old dude named Santa Clause.
Jack Frost is praised for nothing more
Than leaving his artwork on windows and doors,
And the boogeyman gets accolades
For scarin’ the hell outta Susie and Dave.
I can’t get busy with my petty labors
Till the Sandman goes and does me a favor.
They’re all guys and all overrated,
Overpaid, over loved, like that rabbit I dated,
And what do I get for a nighttime of chores
But a sack full of teeth and not a thing more.
Well, none of ‘em will think it’s so freakin’ funny
When they find what I’ve done with that damn Easter Bunny!
Do the Easter Hop
Basket filled with Sweet Joy
Candy and A Toy
Today I am going to hop my way to my brother.
To tell him how I feel about not being together.
I thought I could be so kind.
I saw him by the road side and I was blind.
I could just end it all by now.
Today I tried a cow.
It really was hard to do.
Then I hired a semi crew.
I watched carefully, darn he is fast!
My name is Happy ?, I'm Easter's brother who is sad.
He painted eggs that made me jealous and bad.
I hopped one day and he threw an egg at me.
My heart became really cold that memory was key.
I finally thought of it an accident really is going to happen.
Happy Easter is going to be laugh-en.
Good to see you, I said to a mystery man.
I was told not to associate with any human.
It was my last resort.
The man had a sports car a beautiful sort.
I was desperate, now, I'm in a bunny court.
I have a ridiculously large head,
I think I’d opt for a smaller one instead.
Oh, sure, you say that it suits me fine,
That’s because yours isn’t near as big as mine.
I bet that it weights at least thirty pounds,
It looks even bigger than it sounds.
When I lay it down on my waterbed,
A tsunami rises so my wife has said.
When I go to try on winter hats,
The clerk gives me ones with ventilation slats,
That way when it’s not on sitting my dome,
It can be used as a guest room for my home.
My giant head is entirely too big,
Someday archeologists will venture on dig,
They’ll think that I came from the highland,
On the west end of Easter Island.
Little kids stare up at my noggin,
They think it could be used for a toboggan.
Or a shed to hold random hodgepodge,
That clutters things up in their dad’s garage.
Don’t tell me that it’s due to my intellect,
It makes your judgment sound suspect.
It’s because my brain is fashioned like a brick,
And my skull is so very, very thick.
The Easter Rabbit had a spat with his wife
She said the dumb eggs were ruining her life
Laying eggs is so boring
Then there's your snoring
He met his demise with her carving knife...
NOTE:..apparently she borrowed the knife from
the farmer's wife ,who had been having trouble
with some blind mice.
For the "Clue" contest
EASTER EGGS EVERYWHERE
Fun Filled Freedom.......
Giddy Giggly Games...
How ya' Hangin'???
Just Jolly Joey!
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!
A crowded table, all suspended in shock
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?
Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?
They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?
Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!
What happened to poor Easter Bunny, was it murder, misfortune or fate?
What to tell the children when the treats are unforgivably late.......
It could have been the tooth fairy, accidently raining teeth as she flew by
Poor Bunny pierced by sharp teeth, extremely deadly from way up high
It could have been Cupid, letting his haphazardly arrows fly
Poor Bunny punctured by a miscalculated arrow gone awry
It could have been Jack Frost, getting in his last frost before the end of the year
Poor Bunny frozen solid, all that is left sticking out from the snow... a lone ear
It could have been St. Patrick, preaching Christianity in Bunny's ear
Poor Bunny died of an aneurysm hearing bible stories so severe.
It could have been Jack-o-lantern with numerous carvings meant to scare
Poor Bunny had a heart attack, frightened to death, and he without healthcare.
It could have been Santa, driving reckless with mounds of gifts to deliver everywhere
Poor Bunny trampled by reindeer, that he was unable to hop any faster, is so unfair
Which story will you tell your child....why the Easter Bunny comes no more?
Will you confess, that you led your child astray with fabled stories of folklore.
Contest name ~ Clue: Who Murdered the Easter Bunny?
Sponsor ~ Lisa Cooper Poetessdarkly
Oh No! Oh No! What has my son done? I hope it’s, not already to late!
He lives at a fraternity house, and surely, you know THAT intense mental state.
March has St. Patrick’s Day, Spring Break, and has, of course, Easter in it, too.
So they decided to have some great fun, yes, a fun filled month to happily ensue.
They invited a Leprechaun, the Easter Bunny, and the king of bongos, a gnome.
Apparently they convinced everyone it’d be more fun, to Simply… Stay… Home.
The whole campus flooded thru that fraternity house, in the party’s that ensued.
And they convinced the Easter Bunny to do jello shots in every color and hue.
He became known as THE BUN, yes, The One who finally, truly could fly…
And the Leprechaun danced till he dropped… to a great bongo serenade, aye.
There was no SIMPLY about this! As the music rocked the frat house, next door.
And girls were seen coming and going, at all hours, even passed out on the floor.
This was the party no one missed… even the frat house with the snobs, were there.
It’s said even some of the President’s security attended, partying there, somewhere.
Before they were done, a plan was sown, as the gnome found it’s yearly, new home.
Yes, it got there, in Washington somehow, on the top of the Real ‘White House’ Dome.
But along the way THE BUN was lost… some where along the never-ending roads.
The Leprechaun called me, our Dragons and Trolls, to help, to search the highroads.
The poor little guy was so pie eyed, when we found him along that crazy way, so…
We fixed him up, we didn’t give up, until we could send him, into that Easter Frey.
Contest: Show Me The Funny
It’s been ten days, the Easter Bunny is gone with hardly a trace,
The Missus is inconsolable- an Easter basket-case,
Evidence in plastic bags, some fibers and some fur,
The family suspects foul play, the police, they do concur,
This once pristine meadow has senselessly been fouled,
Safety and security has now been disemboweled,
“Mark my woids!” Bugs cried out “Sample that bastids’ blood!”
“No one hates rabbits more than that twisted Elmer Fudd!”
“You’re paranoid” Rodger snorted “the one who murders for kicks...
is that obvious cereal killer, the rabbit from the box of Trix,
“Wrong again” sniffed Uncle Wiggly, “you’re no kind of private-eye”
“But speaking of tricks, when you see her next, tell Jessica that I said hi”
“You can’t just point your finger and tell the police to slap on the cuffs”,
You’re so afraid of your own shadow; you’ve filled your pants with cocoa puffs,
Peter leapt up “A demented rabbit killer, it’s McGregor that’s plain to see!”
“He’s got my clothes on a pole in his garden, hanging in effigy!”
Wiggly shot back “…or is it gang related? Their alibis are somewhat frail”,
“Exactly where were those thugs, Flopsie, Mopsie and Cottontail?
“Hanging around Thumper and Br’er Rabbit; I tell you they’re all the same!”
“Do I really have to remind you all how Thumper got his name?”
Borrowing their hole deeper and deeper, down into that rabbit hole
Theories and explanations, none of which could console,
It will make little difference, because now there will be no Easter
The debate will go on and on, as scared rabbits talk out their keisters,
In a squalid little burrow on the wrong side of the rabbit tracks
Amid the empty red bull cans, lies a bloody axe,
On the handle of the door a “do not disturb’ sign is hanging
And in the bedroom is the Energizer; but it’s not his drum he’s banging,
There the recent widow is doing what bunnies do best,
Meanwhile across the field they are laying her hubby to rest.
March 5 1012
Eight elephants ate eight eggs on Easter in England with eighty eight elves.
The Julian calendar threw
Spring’s equinox path far askew
But Gregory’s shift
Of ten days closed the rift
So Easter eggs roll now on cue
What a sad day
No more Easter bunny
I don't mean to laugh
But some tales are funny
I think in the end
It's really his fault
you would never guess
Who was locked in his vault
The bunny was Jealous
Of jolly old Saint Nick
He felt like second fiddle
To a jolly white haired prick
So when the vault door opened
He pushed old Nick inside
He thought to himself
I'll take his sleigh for a ride
Before he got going
He loaded eggs in the back
Each one carefully packed
In poor Santa's red sack
On Donner on Blitzen
They flew up in the sky
An inexperienced flyer
Is now a very dead guy
His tiny bunny body
Was bounced out from the sled
Rudolph tossed him out
So now the Bunny's dead
March 9th, 2013
‘ ‘’’’’’’’’’ ‘ ‘
Weighing scale breaks for a gal too plump
Nibbling chocolates instead of carrot sticks,
“I want to be a model, why is life such a dump?”
So off to the gym she heads for a quick fix, fix!
Her waist still a round 31- inches after months
Of high fatty food she can’t scratch on her note,
Auditions call, she’s craving to fit into slim pants
With more Easter honey making her bloat, bloat
She meets a retired, old magician who can nail it
At last, curved figure she’ll have without big tummy,
Swoosh! He pulls her from wrapped cage like a rabbit
And swirls, turning poor gal into a fake Playboy bunny!
For Carol Brown’s Bunny Rabbit by nette onclaud
I have a friend, who makes money,
By telling jokes, while being funny,
He doesn’t do very well.
By what I must tell,
His suit looks like the Easter bunny.
Here comes Santa Claus
The Easter Bunny’s with him
Great! Tooth Fairy too!
A hit and run of epic proportion The Easter conspiracy in motion The CIA FBI Interpol perplexed Who done it who will be next Scotland yard the challenge not met the Reg. The goose no longer lays the golden egg Public supply and demands satisfaction Who will it be it is up to you investigation Slow to the game the cards are on the the table The only glue you get a fable - for Lisa Cooper Poetessdarkly contest -Who murdered the Easter bunny? 3/5/2013
They say the Easter bunnies comes the same time every year,
escaping from a Lab somewhere, they holes up around here.
They smells of smoke and iodine, wear lipstick and eye drops,
They’s lost her lucky feet somewhere and that is why they hops.
Their Coney furs desirable, and their quarters good for food,
although not free of chemicals, it really tastes quite good.
Their wracking coughs and bloodshot eyes, puts hunters off the match,
tobacco drugs and alcohol, makes them an easy catch.
Their chocolate eggs they lays in fields, each wrapped in silver foil,
are excellent when eaten fresh, but awful when they’re boiled.
'Mommy who killed the Easter Bunny?'
'Oh my! Nobody honey.
You see Saint Nick and the Tooth Fairy,
they had something for him to carry;
With his energy from sugary sweets,
He has some very quick feet;
But he did not realize
How quick the time does fly;
With all that helping
He did not realize his day was coming;
So you see he's not dead,
He is running late instead.'
'Oh Mommy that's ok.
He can bring my candy today!'
'Great.' Mom says to herself
'There goes my mental health.'
Easter is a time where we construe
The beauty of renewal blooming through
Little birds that chirp above the vales
While sweeter ladies peep at passing males
Charming is the humour passing round
Faint scent of Tulips, Daffodils abound
Strolling couples giggle by a stream
Planning the delights they like to dream
Gazebos filled with bands that blow their brass
Shiny belts and buckles, best in class
‘Le déjeuner sur l'herbe’ a luncheons treat
A very Manet way in which to meet
Ah Easter is a time for daring stuff
Two clothed men that dine with naked fluff
At last the joys of springtime are revealed
Milk white flesh and precious else concealed
©david byrne Easter 2012
Marsh mellow peeps
a wonderful treat.
Yellow pink or blue
all of them stick like glue
on easter , christmas or even halloween
I like peeps and pass on jelly beans .
Some have said they can cure the common cold
others say it reminds them of yellow slime mold
what can I say ?
it doesnt matter to me either way
but personally my favorite type is
the ones you put in the microwave oven
and watch as they bubble, pop and fizz
"The Kitty and the Bunny" is a children's song, sung to the tune of "Pop! Goes the
'Round and 'round the dogwood tree
Kitty chased the Easter Bunny,
'Til Bunny tossed an egg
That broke Kitty's leg;
And Kitty cried, "This game ain't fun-ny!".
Bonus activity: Give children some crayons and paper and have them turn this poem into a comic strip. Tell them you would use four boxes for your comic strip: one showing Kitty chasing the bunny, the next one showing the bunny tossing an egg, the next showing kitty holding his paw, and the last one showing tears streaming down Kitty's face. But, tell children they can use as few or as many boxes as they like for their comic strips and even change the storyline. The dogwood tree becomes an apple tree and bunny is seen pelting Kitty with apples. Perhaps squirrels join in the fight and start throwing acorns at Kitty.
Checking the lights on the dashboard when they flash and stay red:
it's the oil that needs to be changed or the engine that requires
maintenance, and in frigid temperatures who would venture outside and get frostbites?
A car is a necessity, a commodity and besides daily pleasure, it may cost a lot indeed.
Running to the grocery store through the backdoor when milk is low,
and guests wait for a fresh coffee pot and you put on a face not so mellow,
and much worse when you forget the roast in the oven...the bird you admire,
and smoke fills your kitchen...you just dial 911 and scream, " My house in on fire! "
But the worst one that can send you into havoc...
when the mean kid down the block throws a rock
and your window shatters and the cat flees with the swiftest animal beat,
but the dog gets vicious and runs after him by exposing his sharp teeth.
Ever forgot to send your mom a Christmas or Easter card?
She'll call you the same day knowing that the Post office won't deliver,
and what her voice will sound like? Soft or harsh, or angry as a bard?
I can imagine the words she will say, " Have you forgotten something, dear? "
These are just few of them that can drive you crazy like wild kids who love to fight
and make you head spin and ache until you sit down and take a break by a lamplight,
" Ouch!" You got burned from the splashing water while draining your steamy pasta...
you complain,"It's overcooked and not al dente!" And like mother you exclaim,"Basta!"
* The word "Basta" in Italian means " It's enough "
Saw Humpty Dumpty roll down the street
Seemed to be escaping from a color tweak
Into the gutter he fell,
Shell seemed to be well
I then heard the heroes in a half shell
They picked up Mr. Dumpty and had a pow wow.
I heard something about Ms. Bunny needing a lesson
Apparently egg die is too big a sensation.
Many eggs dipped in liquid,
Feels like a interrogation
They have no beans to spill
Only option they have is faking a thrill
Turtles feel bad and they strike a deal
Wish I'd followed after hearing the news next day
Ms. Bunny, the Turtles, and Mr. Dumpty were to convene
Sadly, Ms. Bunny never made another basket
I believe the heroes in the half shell completed a bad deed
And Mr. Dumpty paid them off with pizza
It all started when Sleeping Beauty slapped Cinderella
Then Snow White retaliated and hit her with an umbrella
as Ariel the little Mermaid's tail turned into legs
Prince Erick and Prince Charming stole the Easter bunny's eggs.
As Alice from wonderland grew five times her size
Hansel and Gretel attacked her by surprise
While Puss in Boots fought Peter pan
Captain Hook and Ursula produced an evil master plan.
Rapunzel chatted with Red Riding hood
and the three little pigs were up to no good
Thumbelina still aspired to grow
and Rumpelstiltskin has a name he thought no one would know
Jack climbed the beanstalk which was later cut down
by the woman in the shoe who stole Cinderellas wedding gown.
The wicked witch of the west set the woman's shoe ablaze
and Dorothy clicked her heels but didn't return home for thirty days.
When fairy tales get messy this is what well never see
but this is what fairy tales would be like if it were up to me...
I do not know?
I want to run wild through that berry field
behind the brick house my father bought
when I was seven and skinny and still
a natural blond with naive, blue eyes.
I might even wear a white, linen dress
and satin gloves like I wore the last time
I saw it on Easter Sunday when I was nine.
It would be just past dusk,
and the snuffed-out sun would veil
my pale skin and shade the tip
of my bridgeless, up-turned nose.
Feverishly, my white gloved hands
would ravage the bushes, ripping
at bloated berries until
my wrists were smeared with blood-black juice.
I would shove a fistful in my mouth,
sour drool staining my thin lips blue,
much bluer than my stale, gray eyes,
and I'd lick berries from my dripping skin
until my father called me home.
The turkey is cooked and eaten, the family have all gone
You just want to put your feet up, but life still carries on
The bills are due in, the resolutions already broken
There no food or money left, not even for a gift token.
The holiday adverts have started, you can go on a cruise
Or time to buy a new suite, or buy Easter eggs if you choose.
New furniture has been bought, red wine spilled on it
No need for a new year hair cut , there’s not much left of it
Frustration has caused wrinkles, debt is causing pain
But you all start saving straight away, for when Christmas comes again
Today is Easter and how pray tell;
Did that chocolate rabbit hatch an egg?
Not only that I say but his dropings are multi colored;
And it taste like candy.
There's little chance for a picnic at the park;
Today is over cast and not very warm.
But still I bet there are those who tried anyway;
Tridiction is a hard habit to break apparently
Good God I checked my bank account;
I'm running short on money to spend.
Who knows what over priced holiday is comming up next;
Maybe I should get a third job, or take out a loan.
Guess what folks, it's not do-wa-ditty life in the city;
It's life in the good old U.S. of A.
I'd say living here is a gass but I don't drive;
And I couldn't keep my car fueled if I wanted to.
Bless those that have and pitty those who wish they had.
Summer's comming, maybe I'll buy myself a sleeping bag;
I'll head out somewhere and live under the open skies.
Wait a minute, there's no toilet facilities are there?
Scratch that idea I guess, unless someone leaves me a moter home.
Leave- the only thing leaved is the tree in front of my apartment.
Well I hope some of us had a nice Easter Sunday today;
Mine wasn't so bad except it wasn't that different either.
Kind of makes me think I should have learned to eat dates;
And eat with my right hand insted of my left when eating.
Just bent humor folks and do remember not to litter shall we.
Wow! What a surprise!!
I thought my trailer park neighbors,
Me, they did despise...
Perhaps for playing my organ too loud,
Or maybe a loud TV
But I never expected...
A gift from them to me!!!
There it was,
At my front door...
An Easter basket....
And what's more...
Had some really cool things....
Jelly beans, paper grass
(Which you should not smoke)
(Cause get you high, it won't....
You will only choke....)
Best of all,
It had 3 or 4 really
Big, painted eggs,
Maybe cooked too long...
Metallic like shell,
Bumpy, sort'a a bit,
And it's own little handle!
And a top ring,
So you can hang it too!!
And even big, fat colored
The rounded part...
Instead it had a wire piece
Sticking from the top....
I was so excited,
I could barely stop!
They went to all
To put hard little jelly beans
In a little medicine vial
I guess to keep them fresh
They should last me for awhile....
And look!! Pirate drink!!!
In flasks with skull and bones!!!
Oh these wonderful neighbors!
This is better than ice cream cones!!
And I notice they're all slyly watching....
Guess they didn't want to give the
And look! A waiting hearse...
Now that makes my day!
Perhaps they'll treat me to a ride,
And I would sure love that,
I thought they'd always hate me,
Since I accidentally killed their favorite cat.
Most women on Easter Sunday
Morning wear festive and elegant
Bonnets to match their bright
Dresses; men wear lighter, sharp
Suits with cheery feeling, not the
Usual dark ones that are so
Depressing and their neckties must be
Perfect! Coming out of the church in
Throngs, they seem brides and grooms
Again...chatting and smiling at one
Another, knowing that He was,
Risen and gone to Heaven to
Prepare a place for them and their
Children...shouldn't they rejoice
Today? And sitting at an exquisite
Table they say Grace, while Easter
Eggs and bunnies tempt them with their
Lively colors and sweet smell! Even the
Dogs and cats hide underneath the table for
An unforgettable, delicious dessert!
Entered in Brian Strand's Contest, "An Easter Picture"