Everyone has a good old time
They’re written in songs, they’re written in rhyme,
They have their own days or have their own season,
And none of those guys get more applause
Than that fat old dude named Santa Clause.
Jack Frost is praised for nothing more
Than leaving his artwork on windows and doors,
And the boogeyman gets accolades
For scarin’ the hell outta Susie and Dave.
I can’t get busy with my petty labors
Till the Sandman goes and does me a favor.
They’re all guys and all overrated,
Overpaid, over loved, like that rabbit I dated,
And what do I get for a nighttime of chores
But a sack full of teeth and not a thing more.
Well, none of ‘em will think it’s so freakin’ funny
When they find what I’ve done with that damn Easter Bunny!
For Andrea's Show Me The Funny Part Two
Pweeze wet me expwain, officer -
I taught it was dat wascally wabbit agin...
buwwowing under my ewectric fence,
eating up my cawwots. wettece, my bwoccoli
and-and...even my woot-a-beggers!
He's a weal pest...constantwee hawassing me,
destwoying, wandom wooting, wuining my cwop...
din waughing at me! (Dere outta be a waw)
Wha...awwest me?...Dis is an outwage!
I am a waw-abiding citizen!...Wead me my wights!
I demand pwoper mis-wepwesentation!
I am going diwectly to your superwior office, pwivate!
Bewieve it my fwiend, you will wive to wegwet this...
Ow! Must you be so fweekin WUFF?...Dat hoits!
I have woomatism you know! Powice bwutality! Po...
Aw scwew it...Wes! Wes! I moidered da widdle bum!
(Wunning awound dwessed wike dat
distwibuting doze siwwie cowoured eggs
Embawassing widdle cweature...
It's a downwight disgwace I tell you)
Do the Easter Hop
Basket filled with Sweet Joy
Candy and A Toy
Today I am going to hop my way to my brother.
To tell him how I feel about not being together.
I thought I could be so kind.
I saw him by the road side and I was blind.
I could just end it all by now.
Today I tried a cow.
It really was hard to do.
Then I hired a semi crew.
I watched carefully, darn he is fast!
My name is Happy ?, I'm Easter's brother who is sad.
He painted eggs that made me jealous and bad.
I hopped one day and he threw an egg at me.
My heart became really cold that memory was key.
I finally thought of it an accident really is going to happen.
Happy Easter is going to be laugh-en.
Good to see you, I said to a mystery man.
I was told not to associate with any human.
It was my last resort.
The man had a sports car a beautiful sort.
I was desperate, now, I'm in a bunny court.
The Easter Rabbit had a spat with his wife
She said the dumb eggs were ruining her life
Laying eggs is so boring
Then there's your snoring
He met his demise with her carving knife...
NOTE:..apparently she borrowed the knife from
the farmer's wife ,who had been having trouble
with some blind mice.
For the "Clue" contest
I have a ridiculously large head,
I think I’d opt for a smaller one instead.
Oh, sure, you say that it suits me fine,
That’s because yours isn’t near as big as mine.
I bet that it weights at least thirty pounds,
It looks even bigger than it sounds.
When I lay it down on my waterbed,
A tsunami rises so my wife has said.
When I go to try on winter hats,
The clerk gives me ones with ventilation slats,
That way when it’s not on sitting my dome,
It can be used as a guest room for my home.
My giant head is entirely too big,
Someday archeologists will venture on dig,
They’ll think that I came from the highland,
On the west end of Easter Island.
Little kids stare up at my noggin,
They think it could be used for a toboggan.
Or a shed to hold random hodgepodge,
That clutters things up in their dad’s garage.
Don’t tell me that it’s due to my intellect,
It makes your judgment sound suspect.
It’s because my brain is fashioned like a brick,
And my skull is so very, very thick.
EASTER EGGS EVERYWHERE
Fun Filled Freedom.......
Giddy Giggly Games...
How ya' Hangin'???
Just Jolly Joey!
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!
A crowded table, all suspended in shock
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?
Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?
They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?
Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!
What happened to poor Easter Bunny, was it murder, misfortune or fate?
What to tell the children when the treats are unforgivably late.......
It could have been the tooth fairy, accidently raining teeth as she flew by
Poor Bunny pierced by sharp teeth, extremely deadly from way up high
It could have been Cupid, letting his haphazardly arrows fly
Poor Bunny punctured by a miscalculated arrow gone awry
It could have been Jack Frost, getting in his last frost before the end of the year
Poor Bunny frozen solid, all that is left sticking out from the snow... a lone ear
It could have been St. Patrick, preaching Christianity in Bunny's ear
Poor Bunny died of an aneurysm hearing bible stories so severe.
It could have been Jack-o-lantern with numerous carvings meant to scare
Poor Bunny had a heart attack, frightened to death, and he without healthcare.
It could have been Santa, driving reckless with mounds of gifts to deliver everywhere
Poor Bunny trampled by reindeer, that he was unable to hop any faster, is so unfair
Which story will you tell your child....why the Easter Bunny comes no more?
Will you confess, that you led your child astray with fabled stories of folklore.
Contest name ~ Clue: Who Murdered the Easter Bunny?
Sponsor ~ Lisa Cooper Poetessdarkly
It’s been ten days, the Easter Bunny is gone with hardly a trace,
The Missus is inconsolable- an Easter basket-case,
Evidence in plastic bags, some fibers and some fur,
The family suspects foul play, the police, they do concur,
This once pristine meadow has senselessly been fouled,
Safety and security has now been disemboweled,
“Mark my woids!” Bugs cried out “Sample that bastids’ blood!”
“No one hates rabbits more than that twisted Elmer Fudd!”
“You’re paranoid” Rodger snorted “the one who murders for kicks...
is that obvious cereal killer, the rabbit from the box of Trix,
“Wrong again” sniffed Uncle Wiggly, “you’re no kind of private-eye”
“But speaking of tricks, when you see her next, tell Jessica that I said hi”
“You can’t just point your finger and tell the police to slap on the cuffs”,
You’re so afraid of your own shadow; you’ve filled your pants with cocoa puffs,
Peter leapt up “A demented rabbit killer, it’s McGregor that’s plain to see!”
“He’s got my clothes on a pole in his garden, hanging in effigy!”
Wiggly shot back “…or is it gang related? Their alibis are somewhat frail”,
“Exactly where were those thugs, Flopsie, Mopsie and Cottontail?
“Hanging around Thumper and Br’er Rabbit; I tell you they’re all the same!”
“Do I really have to remind you all how Thumper got his name?”
Borrowing their hole deeper and deeper, down into that rabbit hole
Theories and explanations, none of which could console,
It will make little difference, because now there will be no Easter
The debate will go on and on, as scared rabbits talk out their keisters,
In a squalid little burrow on the wrong side of the rabbit tracks
Amid the empty red bull cans, lies a bloody axe,
On the handle of the door a “do not disturb’ sign is hanging
And in the bedroom is the Energizer; but it’s not his drum he’s banging,
There the recent widow is doing what bunnies do best,
Meanwhile across the field they are laying her hubby to rest.
March 5 1012