These Christian Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Christian. These are the best examples of Christian Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets
She was a tappin' to the tunes...
of those Mississippi blues...
step-pin' out, in her white...
We were a watchin' her a prancin',
all through the kitchen, dancin'...
for she was so...hot & sizzlin'...
hummin' to those Mississippi tunes...
Funny curlers too, upon...
her head...for a new... Hair dew,...
she was, a swirlin'-in that bakers apron,
when her head...star-ted a bobbin' to...
those Mississip-pi blues,
'Pots were a knockin'...
Grandma a sockin' down all she brews,
while that kettle there was whistlin',
in har-mo-ny, with them good ole...
good ole...mississip-pi moves,'
That floor there, was a bouncin'
holdin' hands we were a jumpin',
an-a hoppin' In the kitchen, to those...
Where Grandma's feet were a stompin',
In her new...New-white-sexy-pat-en-
Quit my job, smashed my car
My back does throb, need to learn guitar
So I can make, a silly song
And I can sing, it all day long
About how, my God is strong
So that even now, nothing’s wrong
Even though, I quit my job
smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I’ve got God
So I won’t let any thought
Any worry or fear
Convince me you’re not near
Even when, I quit my job,
Smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I won’t sob
I need to learn guitar
If its money I got its money ill keep.
If its money I have its money ill weep.
If its love that I give its love ill receive.
For I am but no one who just see's beneath.
Some say your only as strong as you feel, but how could we change..in a place that's so unreal. People are hearing but..not really hearing. Why is the world so blind. I keep on screaming and screaming and screaming for things to be revolutionized. I am just a small song in a world full of cries, laughter, tears and french-fries.
Today my fellow Christians
Today we have a need to pay
To pave the way for Godly deeds
I offer this contest today
Three hymns you may choose
To who may ever give the most
Of dollars which are in need
Thus the collection plate did pass
Among the members who gladly gave
As cheerful givers do make
The assembled elders preacher and me
To start the count now gathered
But the preacher gasped
When he did smilingly behold
A folded thousand dollar
Shouting praise the Lord do pray tell
Who gives such grand benevolent a gift
Who wins the hymns of three
And spied he did old hard hearing Edda May
Slouched low a back row seat
Shyly raising hand to the sky
The preacher ran to greet
Come forth and choose thy prize
Three hymns to you now may claim
As Edda May began to stand
Edda May the winner of three
With back bone straight and wondering eye
Edda May released a snickering grin
Declaring her name loudly spoke
Giving voice for all with in
I do tell at this moment of truth
Pointing her crooked index out
So many to choose from
So many have I always liked
And thus she began
Pointing to Sam
I’ll take him and him and him
The congregation began to sing
Have Thy own why Have thy own way
Edda May the potter
The three are the clay
Edda May just smiled
1. Walls of Jericho:
3. The Egyptians:
1. Joshua 6:20
2. Exodus 10:17-19
3. Exodus 14:28
4. Judges 4:21
5. Judges 16:29-30
6. Genesis 31:41
Written July 2d and 3d, 2013
Dear little pony, the children’s clown,
Rough mane stands tall, his thick tail tumbles down.
Jiggety, jog. Yes, some riders have frowned.
Dad can ride him with two feet on the ground!
He’s a tough little, nuggety, wonderful chap
Who can live on the roughest of diet mishap.
We don’t feed him oats much, he’ll founder on those,
But if you can ride him you’re right home and hosed!
He’s full of the tricks that intelligence brings.
He’s always a challenge until mummy sings
Out loud, lets him know that he can’t get away
With presenting his backside to children today.
The children must learn how to command him too.
It isn’t the easiest thing they must do,
But they look for the pleasure of riding again,
So they learn how to handle tough diamond disdain.
They must learn how to stop him from racing away
Towards home when his head is turned facing that way.
His mind is on resting with food in his trough,
But his job is to teach, and he does it but tough!
Tough diamond’s a doorway to wonderful thrills
In the glorious world of the horseman’s spills
And great challenges. Once you can master this rascal
Nothing can daunt you. Introductory sample
Of every excitement that riding can offer,
He’s cute, pert, adorable, and he can proffer
Essential abilities. Gratitude is
The gateway to mastery, sire of bliss!
Every offence becomes laughable when
You think back to this tough little customer. Then
Your mind turns to teaching, as Daddy once did.
No more can the mud of offence cause a skid.
You’ll go round it. Or jump it. There’s no need to fall
When Gratitude’s mastered. Remembering all
Those scuffles you had that your dad helped you through,
You’ll mother, or father, or teach others too.
On earth on a Mission
purpose redefined with singleness of vision
clarity came cause i sat to look
through the pages of the book
Some days skipped with nothing to dine
some nights slept with nothing to wine
yet more nourished than a royal cook
for i am best fed from the pages of the book
When I lost focus and fell
drowning in the depths of the well
yet I was lifted by an unseen hook
as i flipped through the pages of the book
What about you my dear friend
when the terrestrial race comes to an end
and death vomits all that it ever took
will your name be found on the pages of the book
rocking the boat - Hey Hey what are you doing There is a snake
On the heights of ecstasy...
I fall hard back in a fantasy..
I lost a my sense of ganacity..
For I realize, this not my city..
Weighing which is light of density..
It's inside a solid original tenacity..
A flight and a compilation of lucidity..
I wonder when will I attain felicity..
Drifting to thorough paradise..
Wanting and exclaiming for joy to arise..
Removing all that's in disguise..
Limiting and training myself just to be wise...
sept. 8, 2013
For Jonah, it began with a word
to travel awhile
to preach against the vile
but he pretended he hadn’t heard.
We know the story
swallowed by the whale
it’s quite a tale
that ends in God’s glory.
But do you know why he ran?
He thought the vile did not deserve
the mercy in God’s reserve
like he did… a righteous man.
Today I choose never to deny
the mercy of the Son
from any wicked one
for there might be a whale nearby.