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Beauty Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Beauty

These Beauty Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Beauty. These are the best examples of Beauty Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Epigram |

A season's dance


avant-garde

What art thou, splendid maid, inclined to verse?
Upon the skies, the stars thy words rehearse.

The darkness cometh with a Fall's request
while in thy kitchen, Gail, should do your best;

for spicy tastes the famous bard now begs
but you regaled his pleas with two boiled eggs.

The Eros Iamb feet, sung by the sire,
repeated are by stray cats' alto choire.

while resonant, of music flaws he shuns,
cats meow at him, from two deep tin trash cans.

Your bucket-full of water then, is thrown,
to fall upon his head and new iphone.

Enchanted so, thou callest the fine bard,
to dance with you Fall's jazzy avant-garde.

© G. V., 10-03-2013
(Iambic pentameter)


Details | Rhyme |

My Fair Maiden

I called upon yonder window That was up to high for me to be For my maiden gracefully sleeps there In her bed,beside the sea I asked her to come hither For her beautiful face I yearned to see Twas yawning in the morning dew As she slowly came to the window for me To my amazement came forth a ragged wench Whos hair was as raged as the sea With eyes that were burnt as nightposts To bloodshot and squinty to even see For this was not my fair maiden? Whos beauty would forever be But a drunken harlot who came hither That she spent the night with instead of me My heart now broken to pieces Wondering how could this tragedy be? For my maiden now sleeps with a harlot? Without the love that she once gave to me? My mind was now enraged So I dashed for the wrestling sea With thoughts of drowning this useless body That's no longer good enough for my maiden to see With water just over waist height And a large wave about to crash over me I heard a calling from yonder window Twas my beautiful maiden as I turned to see Her beautiful eyes in such distress Her beautiful hair flowing so care free Twas the beauty of my fair maiden That I had called upon yonder window to see For the thoughts that raced through my mind Evidently,weren't truely what happend to be For it was her promiscuous sister Who had come from the other side of the sea My heart now rebuilt with a sigh of love A large wave suddenly crashes over me The last thing I saw was my fair maiden As my lifeless body is carried out by the sea
DannyBoy:1-24-13


Details | Free verse |

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!


Details | Sonnet |

Pillow Talk Abuse - Andrea Dietrich

PILLOW TALK ABUSE     (collaboration)


by~ Andrea Dietrich

Again you’re droning on and on and on. 
Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. 
My time for beauty sleep will soon be gone. 
Why can’t you close your eyes? 
You know you oughta. 
Just press those lips together tight and zip! 
My lids are getting heavy as you talk. 
So now I offer you this little tip. 
Why don’t you go outside and take a walk? 
The clear night air might open up your mind.
Before you kill the bush you’re beating round. 
You’re killing ME; I hate to be unkind, 
But when I start to doze, I hear that sound . . . 
Yakety, yakety, yakety, yakety, yak. . . 
Please shut your trap. 
We’ve long since hit the sack!


by~ Poet Destroyer

Congratulations for thinking your work is done.
You may be tired  but you’re not the only one.
I sure hope you like spending your time all alone
All the young ones are grown and away from home.
So, I have no choice to yap yap yap' when you're around.
But, I do this to annoy, before my other annoying snoring sound.
Ever since I remember the beauty line is to late.
Don't forget my yapping mouth is what brings dinner to your plate?
But think of the funny way you want me to zip my lips tight.
My yakety yak is what gets me going through the night.
Retire your eyes else where, if you can't hear me out!
Wouldn't you rather me beat the bush, than to hear me shout.
Your ungrateful ways are like a sleeping pill.
Talking to you is like talking to a wall~ " oh! What a thrill!"
Maybe if you say a word or two, your mouth would put me to sleep
So my dear, talking to you is better than counting sheep.


A collaboration with * ANDREA DIETRICH

My collaboration contest


Details | Rhyme |

Four frogs on a log

Four Frogs On A Log.

Four frogs were lazing in the sun
When a log came floating by.
So the frogs all scrambled on to it
With happy little cries.
Not one of them had sailed before
And it was so much fun
But then it was, the big debate begun.

One frog said "Ain't that something
This log is so alive.
It moves along so easily
Now don't you think, you guys?".
"It's not the log that moves you twerp!!"
Said another thinking frog.
It be the river moving, not the log!!

"Oh no, no ,no" a third frog said
The both of you be wrong
It's not the log, the river neither 
It's your mind that moves along.
The moving be your thinking
Without it nothing be.
And those three did get to arguing
And never did agree.

The fourth frog said "you all be right
Not one of you be wrong.
The log it moves, the river moves
And the mind moves it along".
At that the other three got mad
For each did yearn to win.
So they grabbed that wise old frog and threw him in.

Socrares Feb 16 2004


Details | Rhyme |

Clara

 .      
                       Clara, my beloved guitar player
                  Beauty was the mystery of her
             Wonderment of her eye husked with passion
        Dread of a lifetime intonation cleft a glimpse of perfection
           She clipped the string as I nod within that melody
                Her pure slimy fingers trimmed the guitar's abnormality 
                    She plough the strings while I was clouded with suspense
                        She broke her hip after shunning the guitar’s defiance 
                            Hours later, I admit, this beauty was a coincidence


Details | Free verse |

Ridiculous Me

Watch this scene with both eyes and try not to blink C: --> 

I stood there... silently
Like a predator near prey 
I sneak behind YOU

You weren't even aware of it!! Ha-ha! 

I made YOU jump hIgH
Like a startled hare
I chuckle and smile

You know that mischievous smile of mine? 

Your reaction was
PRICELESS - you were so upset
But YOU forgave me

Well...I'm flattered. . . 

We laugh'd together (just like the good times)
In a chorus - our volume
Picked up extreme sound

Believe me - I could hear our laughter from a mile away!

But I'm glad I did
My best to make you giggle

Ridiculous me... 
Wouldn't you agree?


Details | Dramatic monologue |

who says

I wouldn't wanna be anybody else, hey 
You made me insecure, to me I wasn't good enough 
But who are you to judge When you're a diamond in the rough
 I'm sure you got some things You'd like to change about yourself
 But when it comes to me I wouldn't want to be anybody else
 I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me You got every right to a beautiful life, 
come on
 Who says, who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 It's such a funny thing How nothing's funny when it's you 
You tell 'em what you mean But they keep whitin' out the the truth
 It's like the work of art That never get to see the light Keep you beneath the stars Won't let you touch the sky
 I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me You got every right to a beautiful life,
 come on
 Who says, who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty 
Who says you're not pretty
 Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 Who says you're not star potential Who says you're not presidential Who says you can't be in movies Listen to me, listen to me
 Who says you don't pass the test 
Who says you can't be the best Who said, who said? 
Would you tell me who said that, yeah Who said
 Who says, who says you're not perfect
 Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty 
Who says you're not pretty 
Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 Who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says


Details | Free verse |

Self PORTRAIT

I will start with using my hand as a guide
And in the end I will open my eyes that I will decide

I consider to do this with one thing in mind
I will close my eyes and will imagine it blind
With no colors or fractionation of the light
Just plain me and a vision with my hand as my sight

My hair is very coarse and some what fine
What I just described is so benign  
I twirl my hair and make it bend 
And I will say its very clean not oily on the ends

As I press on my forehead I simply feel a distinct part
I notice from hair to skin it is very different from the start
The simple partings from hair not like skin
I am going to feel with my other hand and begin

The smoothness of my skin like years of water eroding a rough rock surface smooth
Not just that my skin is like home to years of stories like scars and attitude
And when I raise my eyebrows the wrinkles it makes is more so for expression
I did not notice it with certain ideas, thoughts, and emotions

I run my hands down to my eyelids I feel movement of my eyes trying to peek
Eyelids that I have, vibrates with some kind of fear, Why?, that I will seek
Just now as I thought about it a sensation ran through my brain
My eyes is the world to me and that is true and not insane

Myself portrait of me is through my touch for now
But to finish it I will have to open my eyes soon and how
I been in a trance full of so many ideas just with my eyes closed
I run my hand on my nose and lips and I smile who could apposed

The feelings in the tip of my fingers rub on my chin and jaw with care
I do notice roughness of unshaved velcro gripping hair 
I skip my ears so I will sneak a feel with my fingers I chose
I notice it is like my nose with cartilage, so I don't suppose

I will now open my eyes that I will use a mirror to see myself
My head is oval shape and my neck is like a stump, please help
My skin is very tan and my eyes are brown with my eyes I see
With all the description with my hands, one sure thing is the same and key

It is the description of measurements that is what my hands and eyes can see me
With a smile I am looking into the mirror and I can describe that I am happy
Myself portrait of me is such a way to get to know myself once more
I will never think it was a waste of time or a bore




Details | Free verse |

My True Beauty

Eyes brown
Knowing intelligent
Brunette hair
Following behind 
As you run
Gentle loving
Enjoying others

Legs and hips
Most beautiful 
I've seen
Torso
Michaelangelo
Could sculpt

You turn around
Well shaped rear
Tail swishing 

To flick
Away the
Flies


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