Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

Baby Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Baby

These Baby Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Baby. These are the best examples of Baby Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

12345
Details | Light Poetry |

The Cuddling Cricket

It’s not enough to have a Dragon plus his penguins and pigeons, too?
Darn it! I had a limit, until a cute Cuddling Cricket found my shoe.
He was just a little baby, who saw the pigeons and decided to hide.
Now, he won’t let go of my pants leg; he’s definitely along for the ride.

The first time I saw him, I Eeekk’ed and I jumped, yep, about to pounce.
But at my response he sighed, and slumped, and he began to cry, at once!
At first I couldn’t believe it, so I pulled out my magnifying glass.
What I found were soulful eyes, and a face, so very cute, but sad.

So now when I stand, A Cuddling Cricket, comes along for the ride.
Yeah, he’s now part of the family… Well, of course! Sigh! I replied…
He sleeps in a cute little plastic bug box, with a matchbox for a bed.
But it’s hard to explain, to others found, in my life, which have fled.

I bring a magnifying glass, so they can see him bow so proper and nice.
But carrying my Cuddling Cricket around, does have a certain price!
Food stores aren’t very understanding, and restaurants, Not At All! Truly!
But the paparazzi seem to understand a Cuddling Cricket, completely!

He does have his own type of novelty as he carries around his blankie!
And he’s just a baby, who needs a Mom, and of course, his little binkie!
Honestly, I’m not kidding! There’ve been a few, strange turns, in my life.
But, if I have Trolls and Dragon, then a Cuddling Cricket seems, so right!


Details | Lyric |

A Piece Of Lace

[Verse-1]
I watched you walk by yesterday, and yes again you turned and looked away
You never give me the time of day, and you're always looking sad and grey
A small piece of lace from your pink dress, is all that's left of you and me
Wish I could take back yesterday, when I went astray and set you free
I wish I could find the words to say, instead of making you look away
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Verse-2]
I know that I still need your love, because my heart is always feeling blue
And I guess I'll never be the same, for playing around and being untrue
You gotta know this isn't what I wanted, cause now I'm always on my knees
But I can see how you like your freedom, of being with him and not with me
But baby a twist of fate's what tore us apart, and placed this look upon my face
Oh! it's still funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Chorus]
A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Verse-3]
All those things that you used to do, is what made me fall in love with you
You gave me your all once upon a time, but like a fool I up and flew
And the things I went and said that day, made you fade and drift away
I never shoulda treated you that way, cause baby I need you here today
The sun keeps hiding behind the clouds, and all I do is sit and cry
And this piece of lace holds my heart at bay, I don't know...maybe it's a sign

[Chorus]
A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace


Details | Rhyme |

Gugu,Gaga,Baby Talk

Huggies pull ups,size 6 to 10 months,
Crawling around, had a sudden attack,
High quality,Huggies air lock,
Bubu,bubu,back again Mr Mention,
Mummy told grandma you were overseas,
Gaga,gaga,gaga but auntie told Tony,
You got a 3 months sentence,
Dudu,dudu,pampas need changing, 
Baby wipes,dada,dada,dada,
Get rid of this strange thing,
Here comes mom,baby start smiling,
Mama,mama,mama,mama start working,
Giggle,giggle,dirty pampas off,
Uhgu,ughu,ughu,baby oil wiping,
Hands raise to heaven,new pampas on,
Tee,tee,tee,a bottle,a few gentle rocks,
Twep,twep,finger in mouth,both eyes locked,
One last sentence,bugu,lugu,bugu,
Later,gonna take a nap....


Details | Lyric |

Santa Baby

Santa Baby won't you give me some candy tonight
Santa Baby won't you let sit on your lap snuggle 
Up close and kiss goodnight

Santa Baby I need some Christmas lovin' you see
Santa Baby how neat that you came in a box
Spruced up just for me..

Santa Baby won't you give me some candy tonight...
Nite Nite....

In honor of Carolyn..

You know..


Details | Rhyme |

Seemed Like A Routine Day

Being a nurse I had a good understanding of medications for pain, Explained to my Obstetrician I wanted everything, I was not insane, This was my first baby and being in healthcare had very few perks, I’d be given an epidural when the time came, but not by any jerks. Worked full-time then started maternity leave 2 weeks before my due date, Of course I sat at home for another 5 weeks, oh my first baby was really late. I read every book in the library and cleaned my house more than one time, Everyday the neighbours would drop by, I was tired of the door bell chime. Walked into the hospital to have a non-stress test, done every other day, My doctor laid his hand on me and asked “how long have you been this way” I replied “ for about 11 months, you should know you’ve seen me every week” He firmly instructed the nurse to call my home, for my husband they must seek. My husband knowing my test was routine, had driven to town to go to the Gym, What is that you say dear doctor, “I’m fully dilated, I’m soon going to be slim” Well first I’ll I just zip home to grab my luggage and I promise I just zoooom, What’s that- “I’m bypassing the labour and going straight to the delivery room” So I hopped onto the table, took deep breaths and put my feet in the snare When finally my dear husband arrived ~ with more than five minutes to spare “It’s a beautiful girl with dark hair, 8 lbs 7 oz ” I heard the delivery room nurse say, My love has never been stronger, my greatest moment, our most memorable day. Written by Lee Ramage October 6, 2011 For Frank Herrera’s contest “One Stand Out Day” Won 4th place


Details | Limerick |

SWEET BABY ON SALE

my wallet’s tounge getting longer and longer 
credit cards’promos pumping stronger
flat tv, i-pad, santa trimmings  at low cost
really now, my unpaid dues on zero defrost
egad, i’ll be jailed being a triple goner

the dark side tempts me—a real shopaholic
will win the lotto and forget being catastrophic
can’t wait to blow left-over greens
christmas ads ringing pied piper dreams
buy, buy, buy utterly catatonic

dashing like a mad woman i daringly arrive
snooping at branded goodies my eyes crazed overdrive
surprised by a chipped baby- on-a- manger sale
reminding me my sweet spirit has gone pale
went to bed tucking  christ babe, so glad i’m richly alive!


(for PD's HOLIDAY POEM contest)
by: nette)


Details | Free verse |

Everybody

Love me tonight girl we won't meet again ,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby, ha ha ha ha,
Let your body decide what it does ,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
I know it's straight to the point,
But I'd rather be straight up and straight forward,
Instead of playing with your heart and your mind,
Games are waste of time, now we can do the nasty,
And do what the do and see what the does,
Either we gonna love what we do to each other,
Or just let it be what it was,
No harm, no foul, no commitment, no vows,
Maybe a contract or two,
But by that time I'm already tired of the way you like it, oh,
And let your body decide, exactly what it does,
But it's no secret baby, everybody fücks,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody fücks,
Now I can hear your body calling me,
Tell me what it is, what's gon be,
Only got one night cause I'm...,
Lil mama is a bad one, ain't she? 
Maybe she might be a little timid,
Love when I get it,
Or I might even give a text when I'm finish,
Been doing all this talking, let's get it,
And you can tell me what you wanna do,
I guarantee you can do that,
Or you can teach me like a thing or two,
But I bet you I already knew that,
So one night one time baby girl,
Let's take this chance,
We ain't trying to be love strung,
But I know that Everybody ****s,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
Let your body go, let your feeling show,
Say what's on your mind, I already know,
I can read your eyes, see your body sign,
(Every sign you give baby) with a little bump and grind,
Nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Baby there ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
There ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Baby there ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
Believe that believe that baby,
Everybody ****s…


Details | Rhyme |

TWO BABY DINOSAURS LEARNING TO FIGHT

Come out and watch two baby dinosaurs having a match...
will they hurt each other or enjoy this experience as they stutter?
How long will it take for them until they become groggy and itch?
All kids love this kind of friendly fight as they shout," Punch harder!"


Jeff and Garry creep, trying to get closer, but they push them off
with their enormous feet groaning as two vexed grizzly bears...
" Look out, Garry...they ares aiming at you! they seem hungrier than a wolf!"
But Garry in shock replied, " Compare me to an aunt being crushed by beasts!""


Garry, getting up, finally caught his breath screaming," Keep away,
just watch them fight, we're here not to cause any troubles today!"
" Fine,"  Larry said withdrawing his excitement which had built up too fast,
and as the little dinosaurs continued to improve their skills, a lightening hit.


Poor dinosaurs they didn't know what was happening, they only felt the quaking ground
and quicker they fought resembling two animated robots spinning around,
trying not fall on the grass and make a hole wider than a volcano's crater...
then they gained control and went on with their fight to be amused by the kids' laughter.


Details | Light Poetry |

Lilly's Teddy Bear Picnic

Lilly wanted a teddy bear, so her Mom FunkunDilly gave her one.
Lilly kept telling me how she loved it, and was having so much fun.
Though strangely, she was keeping it, at Grandpa Troll’s bridge.
I couldn’t seem to, understand this at all, not even a small smidge.

She didn’t bring it home at night; she didn’t even drag it around.
She only visited it under the bridge, when Grandpa Troll was around.
Finally I ask her why she didn’t bring it home, to tuck it in at night.
She said it was a fragile thing, that couldn’t leave it mama’s sight.

This itself, should have told me it was better, to leave well enough alone.
But I was not the brightest thing, to reason out, what was being done.
So I invited Lilly, and her teddy bear, and all the Trolls, to come on a picnic lunch.
FunkunDilly ask for honey, lots of sushi, cookies, and baby bottles by the bunch.

Grandpa Troll laughed and said he’d come along, to see how this was done.
Sure enough the teddy bear was there… and his mama had ALSO come along.
Gurgling noises came from my mouth, and my hands had a life of their own.
It wasn’t long before I found myself on the ground, as I fainted with a groan.

When I awoke Mama bear was saying  ‘how high strung these human creatures are!’
She won’t hurt my little one? Is she crazy, do you think? OH, is that a chocolate bar?
I tried to regain my composure… as I passed the honey to put on the chocolate bar…
So yes, we had a teddy bear picnic as Lilly’s Teddy and his mom became the stars.

We all discussed the weather, daytime soaps, and how honey works with crumbs, 
Plus how to stop, our precious little ones, from constantly sucking on their thumbs.
Grandpa Troll was laughing about Lilly’s Teddy Bear Picnics for years to come. 
And he thought I had handled it very well… even though at first I had succumbed.

In the end, leave it to a Baby Troll... to have a real Teddy Bear to love and hold...


Details | Acrostic |

LOST BABY BOY


L Like a juggler, rhythm of harried routine, a mother performing
O On finding the cling-clang-thump symphony's beats missing
S She froze mid-way through her act, something's just not right
T To her surprise, her rambunctious baby boy was nowhere in sight

B Brushing fears aside, she set to seek him in the game of peek-a-boo
A As she peered in every nook and cranny cooing,"momma loves you!"
B But success evaded her and she was fast losing heart and hope
Y Young mother burst into tears, her sanity dangling on a tattered rope

B "Boo!" a voice behind her in a squeamish cry, all too familiar
O Overjoyed she spun around crying and laughing all the same, feeling happier
Y "You naughty boy!"and he smiled impishly, right behind her, under kitchen counter!

7/8/2012


12345