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Funny Animal Poems | Funny Poems About Animal

These Funny Animal poems are examples of Funny poems about Animal. These are the best examples of Funny Animal poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Footle | |

Fickle-Foolish-Footles - Man's Best Friend

Overweight Terrier:
   Porky
   Yorkie
Un-cool Terrier:
   Dorky
   Yorkie

Spaniel dog breeder:
   Cocker
   Stocker
Parrot who mimics a Spaniel's bark:
   Cocker
   Mocker
Book on how to care for Cockers:
   Spaniel
   Manuel
Originally from England, a well-rounded Spaniel stays in shape by playing:
   Cocker
   Soccer
Then showers and dresses by its:
   Cocker
   Locker

Dachshund headgear:
   Weenie
   Beenie
Grouchy Dachshund:
   Meany
   Weenie
Proportionally, male Dachshunds have:
   Teenie
   Weenies
(But size isn't everything)
Dachshund making critcal life choices:
   Eenie
   Weenie...

Lassie was a level-headed dog and never engaged in:
   Collie
   Folly
Reared in a loving environnment, she was a rather:
   Jolly
   Collie
Bred in the capitol city of NC, making her a:
   Raleigh
   Collie
To commemorate her frequent (and often rowdy) visits to N.O. a streetcar was renamed the:
   Collie
   Trolley

Snoopy immigrated to the States but alas, was found not to be a:
   Legal
   Beagle
Thus he was deported back to England but was promptly knighted by the Queen becoming a:
   Regal
   Beagle
Now a celebrity, he even had an entourage of nubile young female beagles named:
   Snoopy's
   Groupies
Eventually, he met his soul mate, married her in Westminster Abbey and it is rumored that they engaged in numerous and somewhat kinky sessions of:
    Snoopy
    Whoopie


Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2013

Details | Alliteration | |

Cat

Lounging licking leaping
Prancing pouncing peeking
Corners closets crouching
Tail twirling twitching
Sniffing sensing sneezing
Hissing huffing hunting
Pretty purring preening
Curiosity kitty killing
Nine long lives living

Copyright © Rick Zablocki | Year Posted 2013

Details | Rhyme | |

My Puppy

My puppy sure loves to lick me
He thinks I’m a lollypop.
Every time I get home he attacks me
Then kisses me nonstop.

You’d think I was gone forever
When I just left the house for the mail,
He is right at the door when I get back
With a rapidly wiggling tail.

He wants to eat everything I do,
Mom says, that’s not good for a dog.
We want to keep him fit and healthy
So daily we go for a jog.

My toys are all tattered and ragged
My socks are his ultimate aim,
Doesn’t matter how much it upsets us
He thinks it’s all some kind of game.

I know he’s a bit of a stinker
That always wants to be fed.
But I sure am in love with my puppy,
Every night when we cuddle in bed.

Written by Brenda Meier-Hans
2012

Copyright © Brenda Meier-Hans | Year Posted 2014

Details | Couplet | |

The Goat That Lives Next Door

Hello my friend, good day to you; I see you got my note
It's time we had a face to face about that crazy goat!

He made a mess, broke in my barn; ate up my buds and cans
And when I tried to chase him out, he kicked my bloomin' fan

Now see here Mr. Farmin' Man, I know you from way back
But if you don't restrain that goat - I'll stretch his scrawny neck!

Me and that goat been fightin' long; he thinks he won this time
So I'll show him today for sure that I'm still in my prime

That goat won't get the better of me; I'll trap him with some hay
I'll lay a path straight to the barn and lead him in that way

Oh darn! He's smarter than I thought, he ate up to the door
He stopped and turned then shook his tail like he don't want no more

Aww shucks - there's got to be a way to trap that crazy goat
He's found new ways into my barn - I'll send another note

This time though Mr. Farmin' Man, I will not shout and wail
I'm goin to git the sheriff now and throw that goat in jail!

Copyright © Neva Romaine | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme | |

MY KITTY KITTY

      KITTY KITTY

My KITTY KITTY
Is so pretty
Prancing all around
With a string, 
I tease the cat
I accidently  stepped on his back
Howling the meowing sound
Now he's nowhere to be found
He's not under the house
KITTY KITTY, where can he be
Out jumped a mouse
I'm scared as scared can be

I hear hissing, coming from above the tree
I call my cat,
Kitty Kitt, come down now
I grab my cat by the tail,
scratching and fighting 
He bites me off
That serves me well
For pulling on his tail
My sweet KITTY  please come to me
There's a mouse under the house
The mouse frightens me

Calling for my KITTY KITTY
Suddenly I hear a loud purring
Rubbing against both my legs
I'm a happy camper, 
On this day I vow
Never shall I step or pull my Kitty Kats tail 

Now it's time for milk!

      
SKAT

Copyright © SKAT A | Year Posted 2010

Details | Rhyme | |

Funny House Pets for Kids

========================

First you got an alligator.

Next came a giraffe.

Lions ride your elevator,

bears hide in your bath.

Bunnies,

   chimps,

       (a duck?),

            raccoons..... 

             run amok through all your rooms!

Soon, if you don't set them free - there will be no room for me!

========================

Copyright © Lycia Harding | Year Posted 2015

Details | Epigram | |

Big Foot and I

Bigfoot often puts his foot in his mouth
and he's got a big mouth too...


Tim Ryerson
Submitted for: SKAT A's contest

Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme | |

Lions Ride Your Elevator

========================

First you got an alligator.

Next came a giraffe.

Lions ride your elevator.....    Bears hide in your bath.

Bunnies...

   Chimps...

       (a duck!)...

            Raccoons...

run amok through all your rooms!

Soon, if you don't set them free,

 there will be no room for me!

========================

Copyright © Lycia Harding | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme | |

Never Dream Within a Dream

-honestly...I have no clue why...- As I began to rest in my fickle dream Suddenly I was stirred from my sleep I was greeted by many a whisker And petulant snores from my sister The cat mewed ferociously and purred For there on the other side of the window—was a bird! It chirped like a wobbly siren—the ass! And I swear by my bosom it was pecking the glass Suddenly, I sprang up in alarm I swear my bosom was gone! The cat then motioned at the feathered brat For her bright breasts seemed extra fat Of course it wouldn’t have been that But I couldn’t just blame the cat! I opened the window only a crack And asked very kindly, “May I have my breasts back?” Such pride she attained from my bosom Yet why? –how would she use ‘em!? The mockingbird merely turned a goodbye But the stolen twins were too heavy to fly! She plopped to the ground and squawked I would have laughed, but I was shocked! The cat scratched at the window and with her eyes Said, “Prithee, take your breasts—she’s mine!” Before I could think I had fallen to the ground To a booming, most terrible sound! My eyes then opened to a cat on my head As the booming sound continued from my sister’s bed

Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2013

Details | I do not know? | |

Welcome to the Funny Farm

Beware of wolves in sheepskins
My what clever wolves
I wonder if the sheep could pass as wolves
Perhaps they could go to Wolves R Us

I've heard of a Fox in a Hen House
I wonder if a Hen ever visits a Fox House

Who was the idiot that let the Bull loose
The china shop will never be the same
I also wonder why so many Bull remain
Especially with all the politicians shooting Bull

I was so busy I had no time to get ready for my trip
So I invited a pack Rat over to help get me organized
My house boat started to sink and he was the first to leave

It started to rain Cats and Dogs
I think I need a better umbrella

He told me I could get there as the crow flies
I think he lied, my arms are tired and I'm still here

I thought I would become my own boss
This Monkey Business is tougher than I expected
My inventory is eating up all my profits

All my clothing shrank when I came in from the rain
I have to admit I felt a little Sheepish

The judge asked him to pronounce his own sentence 
He asked if he could be Hung like a Horse

All my friends call me Eagle Eye
I like that so much better than Cyclops
I would be much happier if I had two eyes

I hope you all enjoyed the trip to the Funny Farm
All the animals here are crackers

Copyright © Richard Lamoureux | Year Posted 2013

Details | Rhyme | |

Silly Billy Goes To The Zoo -



Silly Billy went along to the zoo Right after he had the flu That day the whole sky was blue And he carried along his teddy Pooh Silly Billy love walking to the park every day He love watching the clouds in the sky, Silly Billy was just a regular kid too And he had a lot of friends at school like you. Silly Billy best friends were Sue and his Pooh, So when his parents took him to the zoo, He was so happy to bring along his Pooh, And show him all the places to see. Silly Billy wanted to see everything in the zoo, Starting with: the bears, the tigers, and all the monkeys too. Silly Billy asked his dad to let him feed all the animals you see, But his dad told him, he couldn't do that, 'cause that was a wrong thing to do. Silly Billy loved all the animals in the zoo He was so happy to have spent there the day He had so much fun enjoying all the view His father promised him to bring back another day. Silly Billy went back home content with his Pooh, He gave a big hug to his mom and his dad that day; The day was still beautiful but was almost through Silly Billy smiled and looked up at the sky still blue. Silly Billy went along to the zoo Right after he had the flu Silly Billy went along to the zoo With his family and his teddy Pooh. Dorian Petersen Potter aka ladydp2000 copyright@2007 October, 5, 2014

Copyright © Dorian Petersen Potter | Year Posted 2014

Details | Tail-rhyme | |

Each Spangle From Your Tree

===============================

When you have fallen fast asleep,
I'll crawl toward your hall and creep
out through your door...

Advancing quickly through the gloom,
I'll prance into your living room
and as you snore,

I'll pulverize your rug and purr,
while sizing up your Douglas Fir.
Then, I will leap!

And dangle ever frantically,
until each spangle from your tree
is in a heap.

I'll slash your floppy socks's toes
and gnash your boxes tops's bows
in savage bites!

Then lift, at last, my pretty tail
and spritz a blast of 'Kitty Male"
to wreck your lights!

===============================

Copyright © Lycia Harding | Year Posted 2015

Details | Limerick | |

Funny Squirrels For Kids


Funny Squirrels For Kids

My yard harbors lots of big trees
And in them live squirrels with ease
In comfy twig nests
They do what is best
To live and survive as they please.

I feed them some nuts every day
And watch how they run 'round and play
They know me so well
And come 'ring my bell'
By tapping on window this way:

They come to the back kitchen door
Jump up on the rail from porch floor
On wide window sill
They sit very still
With paws against glass beg for more.

I push up the window with glee
They know I'm their friend, for you see
My hand holds their prize
They watch with bright eyes
And take nut away tenderly.

Now one day I thought I would try
To give something new, and so I
Supplied day old bread
With smooth peanut spread
They loved it so much, with a sigh,

I made little sandwiches soon
On bread placed nut butter with spoon
New great treat for them
But so surprised when
I saw chunks of bread below strewn!

They learned how to get at their prize
Nut butter between, and so wise,
With paws, they would pry
The bread part would fly
Enjoyed just the spread—I surmised,

Like kids open cookies to get
The cream that's inside and not fret
To throw rest away
Enjoy them that way—
The squirrels saw their need was met!

Too funny, these squirrels taught me
They're smarter than I thought they'd be
They do things their way
With us humans play
Together we live happily!


October 13, 2015

Contest: Funny Kids Poem Contest
Sponsor: Team Poetry Soup

===================================
Although I also feed squirrels, my poem was inspired by 
my daughter's interaction with the squirrels in her yard
and is based on true facts.

Copyright © Sandra Haight | Year Posted 2015

Details | Footle | |

More Animal Footles-Just For Fun

 
These are just for fun...I am trying my hand at them!

DROMEDARY'S NAIL POLISH
 camel enamel

SMALL UNSENTIMENTAL HORSE
  stony pony

WILD DOG LANGUAGE
  dingo lingo

INEBRIATED POLECAT
  drunk skunk

HOG'S MUSIC PLAY DATE
  pig gig

  SPICY WILDCAT
  peppered leopard

FELINE HEAD WEAR
  cat hat

OUTSTANDING MARSUPIAL
awesome possum






Copyright © Deb Wilson | Year Posted 2013

Details | Rhyme | |

The Anteater

The Anteater

I’m a little Anteater
Bored with what I eat
I never get delicious stuff
Like a chocolate treat
I eat the same thing every day
You really ought to try it
Cos all I ever seem to get
Is ants in every diet?

I’d like to nibble on some bread
Or lovely potted beef
But nothing that is chewy 
Cos I don’t have any teef 
If I had a sirloin steak
I think I would deep fry it
But all I ever seem to get
Is ants in every diet?

I could have spaghetti
Even though it’s very long
I wouldn’t use a fork or spoon
I’ve got a sticky tongue
My taste buds though are limited
I really can’t deny it
So I guess I’ll always eat
Ants with every diet!    

Copyright © Robert Broadbent | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme | |

The Old Man and the Mule

The old black man came riding up
On a wagon pulled by a mule
In the wagon he had a plough
And some other old rusty tools
As best I recall it was late in the fall
Of nineteen sixty two
He said hello and told my dad 
He was looking for something to do
And for a fee would unhitch Ol' B
They'd plow up the garden out back
The old man smiled as they dickered awhile
Then began to unpack
Ol' B wore blinders as he walked behind her
It only took them a bit
With all of the kids from the neighborhood
The pair had made quite a hit
Put the cash in his pocket gave her a carrot
Hooked up and went on their way
As the old man whistled to the clippity-clop
The old mule loudly brayed


  an original poem by the "poemdog" Daniel Turner

Copyright © Daniel Turner | Year Posted 2016

Details | Limerick | |

ZOO UNICORN

     ZOO UNICORN

Seeing the posting of the zoo unicorn
Could not wait to go see his horn
My eyes just could not believe
The boy I had  been deceived
Poor horse got thrown a lot of popcorn


 a Linda-Marie   = (contest) =

Copyright © SKAT A | Year Posted 2010

Details | Haiku | |

BUNNY

    -Bunny Hole- by:SKAT

hidden muddy home
dirty paws, good boy' good boy!
yummy with carrots :)

----------------------------

  -Unwanted Fluffiness- by:PD

Big Brown Burlap Bag
drop Bunnies down By the Bay
Better off -Blue grave



~SKAT & PD~

Copyright © SKAT A | Year Posted 2013

Details | Etheree | |

Farm Walk

Looking out the barn door in our back yard
I watched a deer run through our cow field,
acting like cow pies were mine fields.
He appeared not to like cows
and seemed to plug his nose
by lifting fat lips
to block nostrils
from smelling
to much
of
what
seemed too
unpleasant
for this fine beast.
He kept on running
lips flapping in the air
making funny bubbly sounds,
purposely or not, I'm not sure
But one thing I do know for certain.
This was the strangest deer I've ever seen.

Written by Brenda Meier-Hans 
09.09.2014
For Shadow Hamilton's Contest
Double Reverse Etheree
1st

Copyright © Brenda Meier-Hans | Year Posted 2014

Details | Rhyme | |

My Sister and Me

How many Guinea Pigs can you see?
Is it one, or two, or maybe three?
There's Honey and Sweetie, and Old Master Monty,
He ogles the girls 'till his eyes go quite wonky.
As to which one's the best, we just can't agree
'Cos they all belong to my sister and me

They live out of doors in a house made by Dad,
It's lovely and posh, the best they could have
A bit like on holiday when your' van's been delayed
They shout, "on the house", A PLATINUM UPGRADE.
For having to wait, It's totally free 
We're both very grateful, my sister and me.

We all love those Guinea Pigs, of that there's no doubt,
 But when it comes to cleaning them out
We both try pretending it's the other one's turn
We go for the wind up but we both need to learn
That nothing worth having ever comes easily,
And one day we'll get there, my sister and me.

How long do you think there'll be only three?
Suppose they gave babies, like a real family.
There'll be hundreds of Poohs and thousands of wee's
I hope they don't do  it on the brand new settee
Old Master  Monty will be as proud as can be
As he blinks a sly wink at my sister and me.

Copyright © CAROL ROBINSON | Year Posted 2014

Details | Limerick | |

The Vet

Heard them say that I’m off to the vet
It’s for my annual booster you bet
He is fetching the lead
Here he comes yes indeed
And into the car I do get

I do not like the car very much
Travel sickness I get just a touch
If they take me to far
I’ll be sick in this car
But I just can’t help it as such

We arrive at the vets safe and sound
I drag slowly for this I have found
It’s a waste of time 
Going to the vets is a crime
I’d rather be back in the pound

Now there putting me on the scale
The nurse says I’m as fat as a whale
This is no fun
I just want to run
But alas I must sit on my tail

At last I’m led into that room
I know that it not for a groom
They lift me on the table
For to climb I’m not able
At last I fear it is doom

The vet has moved round behind
That thermometer looks none to kind
He says it won’t hurt
In a manner that’s curt
Now the thermometer they cannot find

Next it’s the jab in the neck
I could bite him but what the heck
It’s all over now
It’s much worse for a cow
As I leave the surgery I wreck

Then just as I’m off to the door
I hear the vet say one thing more
He needs more exercise
To decrease his size
To hell with that that’s for sure

So back in the car to go home
I feel my mouth starting to foam
Then I’m sick on the floor
Someone open the door
In this car I just hate to roam

Now free of the car I need the loo
The fresh green grass will do
As I open my bowel 
The smell is quite fowl
The thermometers there in my pooh

So home again I will take to my chair
Relax and unwind as is fair
Too much stress for today
Just want to sleep and lay
For the exercise I just do not care

So my trip to the vet I’ve relayed
My owner took me and has paid
So leave me in peace
All wrapped up in my fleece
For my sleep has to long been delayed

Copyright © Owen Yeates | Year Posted 2013

Details | Light Poetry | |

My Pet Donkey Kim

As children are
They all want a pet
I wanted a horse
My little sister wanted a pony
Our parents compromised
They got us a goldfish
Of course we had to name our new pet
We compromised yet again and called him
Turtle

Now turtle would spend hours and hours
Running and jumping around an around in his watery fields
A very fast Turtle he was
We decided to film our little turtle and so we did
The show off would make jokes and acrobats
Turns out he was a real comedian 
(also an expert at cards, especially Go Fish)
To out surprise, an evil man didn’t like our wee turtle
Why he called him a darn little monkey
He said he would shatter our fish bowl
Well he called it a Monkey bowel

Then one day we saw something miraculous
A second gold fish
Turns out he was a she
Happily now my sister and I both had pets
She a wee little pony and me
A great big beautiful black stallion
She name her Pony Grasshopper
So worried she was, that the evil man from far away
Would do great harm to us, Grasshopper and Turtle
She said we should get on our pony and horse
And ride away on the ocean, far away and safe

Then all of a sudden, our neighbors Korean Siamese cat jumped
Right through the window, and right smack into the fish bowl
Poor Turtle and Grasshopper, all over the floor
My sister cried her little heart out that day
From that moment forward, I just could never get myself
To drink Orange crush again

Copyright © arthur vaso | Year Posted 2014

Details | Footle | |

Footles for the Birds and the Beasts

Bad-ass old bear:
Grizzly
Grizzy

Cougar from Arizona:
Yuma
Puma

Cowardly Cock-a-Doodle-Doer:
Chicken
Chicken

Un-cool Terrier:
Dorky
Yorkie

Larcenous bird:
Robbin'
Robin

Slave-driving beaver:
Dam it
Damn it!





Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2014

Details | Tanka | |

Strange Love

Why do I love you?
When I look into your face
Your teeth are too big,
That nose is extremely long.
Yet all I want in a dog.

Written by Brenda Meier-Hans 
09.08.2014

Copyright © Brenda Meier-Hans | Year Posted 2014

Details | Epigram | |

Stubborn as a Mule

A mule got a species change operation and made a real ass of himself...

Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2014

Details | Light Poetry | |

Aliens

Dragon loves his penguins! Oh that we know quite well.
So…Dragon ask for their own little, silver, fire retardant, suits, do tell!
Oh Lord A Mercy! The little penguins dress up sooo very cute, too!
But leave it to our government, to get mixed up, as a spy drone, flew thru!

Yep, The Men in Black, were at our door, to pick the, little aliens up!
Now remember this is division 6, they follow orders, right or wrong.
And do you know any Bureaucracy that can solve a problem, once it’s made? 
When we proved they were our penguins, and they weren’t from outer space…

They gave their crazy orders to the INF for deportation as foreigners, anyway.
We THEN had to get them working visas, for our illustrious, and bountiful zoo.
But you know bureaucracies when they get started, they do, whatever, they must do. 
So they passed the orders along to the NSA to investigate the penguins, right away.

A full fledge investigation went on, to make sure they’re not terrorists, in any way.
Homeland security, now, had to add their names upon their proverbial, no fly, list. 
The CIA was slow, to join into the fray, but once they got started! What can I say? 
Don’t forget they now felt, their toes, had been thoroughly tromped upon, this day!

Honestly! All I wanted to do, by now… Was to get the heck OUT OF TOWN!
But, we had to follow protocol’s yellow tape, all the way, slowly, down the line!
Our mayor’s nose was out of joint, as no one listened to him, along the way.
But the Governor was in his element, so to save them from being whisk away…

He sent their case directly to the State Supreme Court, where bail could be made!
Here nothing could be decided upon, since they aren’t human, so then we were sent…
To the highest court in the land! But the Constitution was foggy, on this bent.
So Congress wrote a bill, to give Constitutional rights to the penguins, everyone!

A loophole, became evident, on granting citizenship cause they’re animals, You all! 
Until, The President, with a stroke of his pen on an Executive Order… 
Granted Zoo Citizenship… So at this point we were finally able to go back home! 
And remember, those cute little silver fire retardant suits… They fit into!

They were thrown into the trash can! As we hid from more, snooping satellites, too.
Spying had started the whole thing, and from buying so much fire retardant cloth!
What can I say? Got to love a government that can protect us… from ourselves!


Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2014

Details | Narrative | |

- Sticking Relationship -




                                       Hear it chugging and tasle
                                         The sun has gone down
                                         Twilight, is still not dark
                                   Small steps ... chugging and tasle
                                         The dog is standing still
                                           Sniffing and listening
                                           Sounds comes closer
                                   A small ball comes out of the bushes
                                      My favorite toy, the dog thinking
                                       Sticking her nose up ..... but ...
                                       The ball is full of sticking spines
                                            it makes a hissing sound
                                     Hedgehog will not play with the dog







15.06.2013
A-L  Andresen :)                 - This is my dog "Maya" :))


(5th in the contest)

Copyright © Sunshine Smile | Year Posted 2013

Details | Quatrain | |

Our Cow

We bought a cow at the state fair 
and loaded her on the truck
to take her home, but halfway there
we had a stroke of good luck.

We hit a rock, and from the crash
she bounced away down the hill,
she mooed and made an awful splash
in the stream beside the mill.

The water was still awful cold,
the cow already freezing…
resisting as we roped and pulled
her breathing turned to sneezing.

My father said this won’t end well,
he couldn’t have been more wrong.
He thought the cow, we ought to sell
but changed his mind before long.

We took her home, our shook up cow, 
unloaded her in the barn.
We thought we’d let her sleep for now
then see to her in the morn’.

The next day, just around sunrise,
the cow already awake.
I milked, and to my great surprise,
I got a frozen milkshake! 

05/02/15

Copyright © The Grahamburglar | Year Posted 2015

Details | Monorhyme | |

French Fries for my Alligator

I ordered French fries for my alligator,
But he stated,
“I’ll eat them later.”

So I spoke up to the waiting waiter,
And said, “Please do me a favor.
Go and take the taters
Out of the fry-o-later.”

Then the waiter intently tried to hawk,
Soup in a crock
For the hungry croc.

But my gator didn’t like the knock
Of being called a dumb old croc.
“My pal is not a schlock,
So, no, to swill in a crock.”

The waiter whose name tag stated, Lyle,
Said without a smile,
“We only serve crocodiles.”

“Why the change, I asked Lyle?
We do not like this style.
A gator is a fine reptile;
Much better than a crocodile.”

So we stared into the waiter’s eyes,
And despised
That waiter’s guise.

That’s when my gator improvised
By catching Lyle by surprise.
He gulped him down, though oversized
Yet, much more filling than French fries

Copyright © David Fisher | Year Posted 2013

Details | Footle | |

Slave-Driving Beaver:

Dam it
Damn it!

Tim Ryerson
8/11/2014

Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2014