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Depression Sad Poems | Depression Poems About Sad

These Depression Sad poems are examples of Depression poems about Sad. These are the best examples of Depression Sad poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Epic | |

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

ONE WORD~

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, 
Running through my mind,
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, 
Running through my veins,
                                   
A silica odor, dust walks through a fresh desert night, 
Cool air beneath and above the sea.
A warm furnace smell, I don’t understand.
Intricate to rise and receive without knowing.
Up ahead in a virtue distance, 
A mysterious poisonous effluvium light-     
My face feels like a leaf'
My sun holds up its own pendulum rods. 
Inflammation comes and settles in for the night,
There it stands in a pertinacious manner, with quality.  
I resurrect this air created from madness, all over again.
Twilight, rain stranger than strange.
Visions, pursue my path into an infested dark pasture.
"From the red Heaven I fell into the waters of a cobalt Hell"

Perhaps this venerable moment, will pass slower than slow.
PERHAPS NOT!
If I accept, and then decline.
Would this balance the precocious state I live in?
How about when wrong directions follow my promiscuous ways.  
Is my conglomeration of ideas, no longer safe?	
When I no longer value the values of the young.
Will I sleep at the mercy of his ancient heart.
They're the voices give and take from our health. 

Today, those soft, perfect eyes are calling from far away,
Ashes high, vapors and infection welding me.
The bright skies swallow every thin silver line,
Where the clouds sit somehow~ in bacteria….
UNITY! 
YES UNITY! Fantabulously-fantastic!
Always, wanting more than love can touch.

We are living' it up with no alibis!
A way to be and not to BE!
The champagne leaves their cup.
Awaken in a life, disturbed ~ NOW INTERRUPT!
Only in this world, lava will reach her lips.
Prisoners and doers; 
All night…. Too late for a treatment.
Lungs, decaying, evil rats. 
Direction, affection, ending all the inhalation.

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, 
Running through my lungs,
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, 
Flat-lined my life ____/\ /\___ ___/\______/\___ _______________

By; pd


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

My Last Poem -of 2012-

The last poem…

Standing against the wall. 
The longest teardrop made its fall. 
Making one final call.
Never will I write about my letters again.

This prison is my pen.
*INK* My enemy~ at the same times my only friend.
*INK* My guardian~ the escort of words into my desires. 
This pen is my prison.

No longer will I let it defend and comfort me.
No longer will I let it sit there and take control of my imagery.
No longer will I share it with you...
These visions have been the birth and death to what is reality.
I have no reason to lie; it is time to set my thoughts free.
And say goodbye…………. 

As I walk alone to the open skies of 2013.

~~The End~~


Details | Free verse | |

Daddy

Daddy

Daddy, why did you go away,
Don't you know I wanted you to stay!

Daddy, when you left mom,
Don't you know you left me too.
Now all I do is cry and cry
--- I want to die!

Daddy, mommy say's it's better this way,
What does she know!
There's not enough band-aids to cover up the blues
Mom's kisses can't heal this kind of pain.

Daddy, I look around 
No one stands in your garage
Daddy, You took every tool
Except the hammer and sitting stool
Daddy, I still miss you 
--- I love you. 

***
***
Dear Daddy, I'm all grown up now
Haven't seen you since I was 10

Daddy, I sit on your favorite chair,
No longer do I miss the way you caressed my hair.
Daddy, I'm taking the old hammer and this BRAND NEW saw,
It's time to patch all the holes mom punched in the wall 
*The day you walked out on us*
Daddy, don't worry about the times I tripped and fell
Mom, found someone to fix  the loose boards,
Got tired of scraping my knees 

Daddy, I finally realized I'm okay,
I agree with mom, it's better this way.

by;pd


Details | I do not know? | |

bloody wrists

I'm sitting on the floor
I'm crying so much more
trying to erase this pain
trying to forget your face
sitting here with the blade in my hand
running so slow blood dripping down
in a deep red color
flowing freely the way i want to feel

I'm sitting on the floor 
holding my hand out
I'm holding a bottle
a bottle filled with pills
I'm crying so hard
the pain is unbearable
I'm feeling so weak 

I'm sitting here on this floor 
holding a blade
crying like crazy
trying to take this pain away
I'm trying my best trying to fight
my eyelids feel heavy
my door is so far
the whispered yells to far
falling deep in to sleep

deep..deep..deep..deep
I'm laying on a bed
I'm so confused 
where am i?
my throat feels sore
my body screams in pain
I'm looking around
I'm in a small white room

i try to move,
my hands are stuck
i try to get up
i feel restraints 
what happened to me?

I'm laying on a bed
trying to get up
my head hurts
a nurse is here
a shot is administered 
i drift to sleep
I'm in the psych ward
why am i here?

I'm lying on a bed
laying so still 
my wrists hurts to no end
I'm crying out loud
screaming and cussing
my body hurts
i can't remember

all i remember are my bloody wrists
and a bottle of pills
all i remember is the pain i was in.....





Details | Rhyme | |

What Only Angles Hear

Daddy never did understand.
That violence doesnt bring comfort.
A lost soul seeking acceptance from a unwelcome hand.

She was silent no one ever knew.
The secrets behind her bruised eyes.
A shocking victem none but all had a clue.

She cried to empty walls never speaking aloud from fear.
A confession of pain and shattred trust.
this is only what angles hear.

Scars selfinflicted  are better than that 
dirty feeling.
As she lays a broken shell gazing  at the celling.

She questions if others know what will they say.
Doing whatever it takes to stay numb.
Innocence lost a parent should never betray.

The guilt was placed apon the wrong head.
Void of all emotion.
No child should yern to be dead.

At times it gets to uncomfortable so in 
another direction we  steer.
For at times it's just to painful to stomach.
What only angles  hear.


Details | Tanka | |

Sad Song -Tanka

"Marriage after Sunrise"


sunset drunken light
on lavender glass of wine
a long lost tear falls
converts into sleeping pills
dismiss the rain again


 
"Divorce before Sunset"


Details | Personification | |

I Look To the Moon

I look to the Moon, hanging aloft
Among the clouds so milky soft.
How must it feel, so high above?
So chilled and bleak and void of love.

Collapsed and sunken are his eyes,
Dark and deep as the onyx skies.
As the Moon shies from the sun,       
I share no love with anyone.

The Moon is alone, without affection.
In its grim face is my reflection.
Inside my heart, the longing grows,
And rots my soul, a sickly rose.

While I look beyond this cage,
I clench my fists; they shake with rage.
I desperately stare above,
Wishing to fly, free as a dove;
For release from the troubled heart I claim,
To be finally rid of the madness and shame.
                                      
Although reprieve is found in song,
To no one does my soul belong.
In music, may the pleas be spoken,
But all in vain; the heart is broken.
                            
The Sphere returns, begins to sigh.
We are not so different, You and I.
So twisted and fractured is the White Stone.
We both have no one; We are both all alone.


Details | Acrostic | |

Open Sores

I am a coward with open sores. 
I write and wonder who it bores. 
I hear my heart and mind argue repeatedly. 
I see others carrying out my dreams; 
that’s what’s defeated me.
 
I am a coward with open sores. 
I pretend open doors are closed, and walk the other way. 
I touch base with the fear in my heart, tearing me apart,
leaving nothing to say... 
I worry the world will leave me. 
I cry because no one believes in me. 

I am a coward with open sores. 
I understand nothing comes easy. 
I say I’m happy, but even I don’t believe me. 
I dream I am healed and brave. 
I try to overcome my weaknesses before I’m in my grave. 
I hope you hear me.
I’m on all fours. 
I am a coward with open sores. 




©  2011  ~JSLaM    

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* 1st PLACE in Contest "MARCH MADNESS" Sponsored by C. Devonshire 2011

* 1st PLACE in Contest "ONE OFF" Sponsored by Brian Strand 5/11/2011 

* 1st PLACE in Contest "BEST EVER" Sponsored by P.D. 2011
                 
   


Details | Ballad | |

This Song is for my Mother

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
I couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
A song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created and cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Memory of a mother
Shared my dreams and really cared

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Mama…
I know I wasn’t there……

For you

Would have placed 
A magic carpet 
‘neath your weak and shaky legs

Would have raised
A strong west wind
Let you breathe with ease again

Would have bribed 
God’s venal angels
Come and soothe your endless pain

Would have vanquished
All the demons
And bring peace to you again

Be the child
I never knew
In a land
We won’t grow old

Be the light
I always loved
Warmed my dark 
And lonely soul

Be the girl
Playing games
In a world 
The sun won’t set

Be the laughter
Calms my heart
I never will forget
I won’t forget, won’t forget

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
Couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
Song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created….cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

I broke my promises, oh mama
Now you’ve gone away 
I’m broken
Drowning in the pain each day

I’m  drowning…drowning...drowning…drowning

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me…….



Details | Rhyme | |

Suicide Mind

What makes the decision
To flick the switch
To end ones life
For the sake of it
 
Troubled, debts
Bullied at school
Fork in the road
To let death rule
 
Mums, dads
Daughters and sons
What ever affects them 
They just can't outrun
 
Sadness and tears
By all left behind
Will they ever understand
Suicide Mind


Details | Rhyme | |

Her Masterpiece Is Her Story

Her paintbrush is a razor,
Her canvas, her wrists,
"I deserve the pain."
She shrugs and insists.

One day the brush will push down,
And it will cut so deep,
That this girl will fall
into an eternal sleep.

She doesn't remember how she started
What brought her interest to this,
How do you discover,
that cutting is your form of bliss?

No one would have guessed that she does it.
No one would have considered this one.
This girl is forever fighting a battle,
that she thinks the demons have won.

Her artwork is all over her,
Her beauty is on her thighs,
and if you look in her old trash,
you'll find her letters of goodbye.

Her masterpiece is quite disturbing,
Her masterpiece is a little gory,
Her artwork is her escape.
Let me tell you her story.

She compares herself to every person,
She is compared to each girl.
She thinks she's hideous,
And there's this boy that is her world.

She was bullied and picked on,
She was teased from head to toe,
Hard to believe that her best friend,
was her one and only foe.

Then later she disliked every little thing,
Her body, face and even her mind,
Soon she saw she was a failure,
and it was just in due time...

That this girl couldn't take it anymore
She'd decided she was done living this,
So one day she went home
and decided to end it.

Everyday for multiple days,
This girl would try to drown,
Hard to believe this girl at school,
never ever wore a frown.

Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying,
Praying that she'd be enough,
Because she didn't want to leave her family.
She knew about their sweet love.

This girl found hope in small things eventually,
She soon would see this beautiful light,
and find a REAL best friend,
that helped her put up a fight.

Her masterpiece soon was leaving,
Her artwork was almost faded,
and it gave her a sick feeling,
the feeling of being jaded.

She found a boy that actually loved her,
And showed her love exists,
And this boy too had a masterpiece,
placed close to his wrists.

He related to her and she related to him.
She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone,
When she cut herself it hurt him,
Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own.

Her masterpiece effected others,
Her artwork wasn't just for herself,
She now had people, 
who saw her cries for help.

And then her family found out,
So then they saw the art too,
to them they were just scars,
To her they were the truth.

She's trying to be okay now,
She thinks she might survive,
Even though they didn't think
to take away the knives.


Details | Nonet | |

Lady Luck

Lady Luck ~ (the Nonet) 



Tears, shadows that swallow other tears
united and out of control
eyes decompose like soft coal
water, in swimming hole
everglade pistol 
celestial toll
river pole 
dead soul
pain

~~~~~

All
over
again, pause
deep darken jaws
engraved, digging claws
deteriorating flaws 
still alive, eating what was
waste, rain, disabling because
nature lingers, emotional raw


by;~~~

Nonet, 9 lines, 
beginning 9 syllables, then 8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 syllable(s) ~ I hope~

for RICK'S contest...


Details | Rhyme | |

Behind the mask

Behind the mask there is a frail and fragile me
Enigmas clothed in conundrums; that the naked I can’t see

'Behind the mask is concealed, my authenticity
Examine my history to unravel my perplexing mysteries

Behind the mask it is unseen paralyzing, piercing pain
With arrogance and self-assurance camouflaging the shame

Behind the mask is hidden my true Identity.
Seek and survey the signs of my obscurity

Behind the mask is veiled a heart that’s been broken
Held together by unexpressed resentment and animosity unspoken 

Behind the mask is where my insecurity hides,
Like realism wrapped in riddles, you must read between the lines

Behind the mask is where I cover my falling tears
Dig just below the surface and you’ll unearth my crippling fears

Behind the mask there are cloaked secrets unexplained and untold
Decipher the symbols to crack my encrypted codes


Behind the mask you’ll uncover my True expressions 
Remove and reveal parodies, and expose the false impressions

Behind the mask, it is hidden, my Individuality.
Not acting out some script of who I’m thought to be

Behind the mask is obscured my, vulnerability
 Suppressing the mounting manifestation of the inner me

Behind the mask it is disguised, my true reflection
Underneath open wounds inflected by rejection 

Behind the mask rest crushed and shattered dream
Where fear muzzles roaring whispers and screeching silent screams

Behind the mask is buried, my stolen youth
Deception, and cover-ups, masquerading as facts and truth

Behind the mask is where I screen the confusion
Look close and you’ll find, trickery and deception, draped in fantasy and optical 
illusions

Behind the mask it’s stifling; it is hard for me to breathe,
The walls of deceit  that i have built ,are quickly  closing in on me. 

I am trapped behind facades of smirks and phony smiles.
So may I please remove this mask just for a little while?

Chiquita Baity


Details | Ballad | |

Disturbed Child

That disturbed child
The teen girl with no friends, 
and is rejected by her loved ones
She feels broken inside,
like theres no other choice
She takes the iron razor, 
she puts it to her arm and hopes the pain will fade,
but in the end it only makes her feel worse
She does this to herself not because she is sad, 
but because she doesn't think any one cares
She thinks 
What if I put this razor to my throat,
and ended my life
Would they care then?
She feels like no one cares 
What she doesn't realize is, 
if she died a river of tears would come,
even faster then the blood would run from her
If she only knew life can be brighter 
If she would only see, 
that she is loved
That disturbed child, 
We miss her
and theres no getting her back
What could we have done
Was there any changing her mind
Only God knows


Details | Free verse | |

Time Out

Make no haste,
your work is restless.

Aeon give me pause--
no more ticking
gears grinding
ever towards the
lonely end.

Live the now.
Even Death took
a holiday,
veering briefly from an
eternity of reaping
solitude.

Take your time
on earth and
mingle--
overindulge in
reverie.
Rest assured,
oblivion can
wait.


Details | Free verse | |

Again, and again

The doubt and anger are here again
No surprise, my new friend
Believed I could keep it all away
Now it’s about to steal me away
Come steal me away. Again, and again

Why can’t I change the parts I hate? Stupid, lying beautiful face

Hearts are craters, deep as wells
Fill them up and hold on well
Sand and mud, the liquid seeps
Dirty tears and sorrows creep
Creep in to swallow me. Again, and again

Why can’t I change the parts I hate? Stupid, lying beautiful face

Told you, I told you. Remember I did?
This time it was raw, nothing I hid
Unacceptable loathing and regret
Nothing to explain, at least not yet
You will see though. Again, and again

Why can’t I change the parts I hate? Stupid, lying beautiful face

Consuming distraction, love that I know
It’s dying already with no place to go
You won’t agree and you won’t see
It will never be enough for me
You will hate me so. Again, and again

Why can’t I change the parts that I hate? Stupid, lying beautiful face

Let me go, for I am already gone
I’m sorry to make you believe this long
Hopeless rage, directed at you
Walls constructed to block the view
But you will still want me. Again, and again.

I can’t change the parts I hate, and I’ll never be happy again. Again


Details | Narrative | |

The Rose

Once bloomed a rose so young and fair
With dark brown eyes and long black hair

Beside her be a tall dark tree
Whose branches stretch to smother thee

Too close beside the shadowy bark
That soon begins to leave its mark

She cries for help, but none shall hear
Her thorns too sharp, who’d dare go near?

To save this rose, who’d risk their life?
With naught to gain but pain and strife

Alone, afraid, she lays to rest
Her heart beats low inside her chest

And with the hour growing near
She sheds her final grieving tear

And so the rose soon falls asunder
Her final day, eternal slumber

She lies beside the old dark tree
The only one who mourns for thee


Details | Rhyme | |

Remnants

Sad Heart, now thou art wither’d from the Sun,
What man, or god, will near thee run?
Wrought in twist like branches in Tempests' gasp,
What Comfort, or Gauze, shall be near to grasp?
True ones begotten are the ones now Rotten
And the ones now Rotten will never be forgotten
They are merely sad remains of assiduous Tears
That have been meddl’d with and tatter’d Raw throughout the years

And thou, cruel Mind, that sat’st still thru toiling trail of Night;
Must dream your broken Dreams; thou’rt a sanely flight!
Can thou extinguish passions of Fire, Disease, or Rain?
—tho thy distinguish’d influence trains to abstain
Thy Remnants brought to debris in thy Empty street,
Devour’d by Vultures, their bestow’d beaks entreat
Merely are they cleaning an inexhaustible Mess
Alas! Leaving thy rudiments of Identity to redress....



Details | Free verse | |

Anxious Dissolution

IV

A soul was broken to make room
For dusty halls and labyrinths.
A gossamer, nylon bed-sheet shroud
Enwraps the remnants of that mind.
And no excuses can be made; 
This disease does not justify that one.
I do not sleep deeply, I do not wake easily,
I dream of cities built on sand,
Next to the swelling sea.
Oh, they should have lasted.
Why should they fall?
I dream of timber horses,
Brought between those city walls.
We should have known; we should have known better.

III

But, I am not an honest mystic;
Beware what you ask of me.
I will show truths within the liar's tapestry.
But, you will not believe; no, you cannot believe.

II

I howled for my motherland
When the mutiny began.
I heard the cry of treason; heard the cry and ran.
I saw blood be spilled,
Some of it my own, then
Felt the rest boil, that this could happen in my home.
I saw the battle through, until the very end,
Then wished the traitors pardoned,
Because they were my friends.

I

I cannot tell the difference
Between the sleeping and the dead,
So, I will dole out blankets, and keep the kettle on.
The streets are cracked and dirty,
And they all appear the same:
Shattered glass and roofing tacks
Where I place my bare and weary feet.
I don't want to go on.
But, I must rebuild; I must rebuild.
I have no grass to lay,
The trees and flowers will not grow,
So, I shall use nothing, but mortar, brick, and stone.
It's not the same; it is not the same,
But, I shall call it home.


Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Vulturous World

Note:***This poem is meant to be read from the bottom to the top, left to right 
------------------------------------------------------------------

Never Again
and you remain—

For the World has gone from me and fled
The stairway of my mind shall never end
I accept the fate with the grinning dead
Hello again demons, hello friends

I remain

Alas! I fall and I am done
Tell me where have you fled, my love, my friend?
For a moment I gaze upon the sun
Here I am on earth again

1 Stair Remains

Why can’t I be free?
Tell me, why aren’t they looking at thee?
Why are they looking at me?

2 Stairs Remain

The garments of comfort I long to wear 
Knowing in my heart that I’ll never win 
I skip that grimy third stair
Like most of my life has been

3 Stairs Remain

Though my infected feet leave bloodstains
I can’t release even a single tear
The poisons encompass my river of veins
I step on thorns of wrath and fear
Enshrouded with pain!

4 Stairs Remain

Oh, how am I to survive?
Relieve me from this ever-fixed sadness
Why can’t you just be alive? 
Cease this madness!

5 Stairs Remain

As you breathe your very last breath
The devilish fiends laugh at me
They are blaming me for your death
The deaths of the masses are calling me

6 Stairs Remain

The carcasses you feed upon are glaring
Oh! vulturous world so full of greed
When everyone is staring
God, redeem me!
I just can’t succeed

7 Stairs Remain

Of other fiendish sins
And I feel the shivers 
Drowned by the turbulent wind
My stale breath quivers

8 Stairs Remain

Though we all aren’t free
They laugh below in the hole where I fell
The demons are haunting, taunting me
Alone I wander blindly out of hell

9 Stairs Remain

And my will is close to gone…
The stairway continues on
Forever hungry, forever stale
I toil through death’s dark vale

10 Stairs Remain

Why can’t we be free?
My resistance is nearly gone
The wretches are watching, stalking me
I’m too exhausted to move on


Details | Free verse | |

The Storm

A cold wind blows,
turning hardened walls to sand.
Breaking down the barriers
exposing the emotions that were held inside.

The pain builds,
from hurts buried deep within.
Storm clouds roll in
dark, cold, and threatening.

Thunder rumbles,
roars across the darkened land.
A voice breaking the spirit:
Stupid
Ugly
Hated
Harlot
Die...
the words echo through the ears.

Lightning flashes,
shattering the very heavens.
Words drift through the mind:
Unwanted
Nothing
No-one
Useless
Alone...
casting shadows of doubt through the soul.

The tears fall from the eyes,
from a heart broken and battered.
Rain pours down from above
overflowing, unable to be contained.

Then finally as the rage is spent,
a calm stillness overtakes the cleansed world.
In the arms of a friend
peace is found once again.

And a voice whispers to the night:
"I'm alright..."


Details | Acrostic | |

Never Look Back

Captivated by the rising tide, alone she stood

On a solemn piece of rock. The darkness

Lingered over; correcting her daylight.

Death in its inevitability took the form of ocean.

Amidst the fleeting light, an absence and 

Neglect writhed behind her eyes,

Draining her malevolence, turning it to fear.

A tapestry of thought weaved onto her shoulder,

Lethargy strained through her. Never fighting the

Overpowering desire to sleep. One foot first,

Never look back, for the

End, is here.


Details | Free verse | |

The Day That Died Forever

When I am Colder,Older and then alone...
I will collect the sky on my own...
When the art has faded and the days then fade-
when everyone has gone away...

I may finally see what never was saw
.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh............... the quiet sky

The unlit room which bares my end...shows the flashes of my pains my joys and sins.
This life has been a strange one since the curtains were drawn
These paper and plastic figures have clouded the dawn

I was once younger,foolish,and obsessed with truth
Now I am bitter,sour,dour faced with my heart under shoe

The children were all searching or lost in a crowd
All weeds in a garden...growing vile and foul

Though beauty was sold it never came true
Obsessions and vanity have traveled safe through

Materials and poison and everything lost
have been burned in the fires or lost in the frost

I stand face to mirror tearing my being apart
Winding thoughts of love,pain,god,and art

As the sun sets and the darkness grows
I too shall follow this pattern in tow

Death has a friendly hand and a pretty face
She has given me comfort as I leave this place

The wars have occurred,humanity's lost
Souls have been burnt in the fire or lost in the frost

Day was Life,Night is Death

And the latter has given counsel on my final steps


Details | Free verse | |

Baking Chocolate

For shame I write again
And indulge your memory 
Doting on you baselessly,
As though you’re a man
For shame, I have no remedy

Because as a child, I could never know
And as I am, you couldn't trust my word
That I know you and I know hardship
Because while there was always milk for me
You are have always been
 baking chocolate

And though I didn't know how unpleasant it would be
I faithfully escorted that dry dust to my mouth
Because you already owned me, 
and my passion was arcane
I forfeited to you
To become fortitude, your stronghold
I gladly wed the night; I gladly wed your savagery
Soliloquies decorating the shrine in my heart
For you, my one good thing 

I have no capacity to abandon
And I don’t know how to love conservatively 
And as easy as spitting you out could be
I let you fester, 
I let you make a home in me 

But even now, I can still taste you in my mouth, 
Where years should’ve made you disappear
 And you’re nauseating
You’re the bitter product of bitter chocolate
I’m older now
 and my youth won’t erase you
Nor passing moments, nor justified rage
 And my heart is empty plastic
In my own hands
And  you marauded me

I hate you more than there are words for
My resilience has long melted away
Yet you always have a hand on me
And I can’t make you leave

Eternal sunshine’s burning me
My lips remember, my lips grieve

For shame,  I can’t forget you…


Details | Rhyme | |

Slowly Dying

I'm overcome with grief
as I slowly die inside.
They tell me this is normal, 
and everything will be alright.

I can't seem to eat a meal,
or close my eyes to dream.
All I visualize is your face, 
then accidentally scream.

I can't seem to leave my home, 
whats the point anyways?
Without you standing by my side
life is nothing but a waste.

Maybe soon enough I'll join you, 
as I slowly die inside.
When I finally enter the gates of pearl
everything will be alright.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Creation

It's my created courthouse
The jury's reached a verdict
A sentence of familiar course
Against the criminally virgin
Guilty by association
I stand to face my trial
Innocent of all my charges
Accused by my empire

Out of seventy-two wishes
I've got one left
A hunger for escape grows
On an open shelf
Surrounded by my story
I have lost my soul
Upon an open world's edge
And endless and lonely road

It's my created jailhouse
A self-sufficient cell hall
Not a single bar in sight
Just cells of open gray-walls
Imprisoned by my own delusions
In cell one on dead block
With broken bones and dying faith
An executed man begins to walk

Out of seventy-two wishes
I've got one left
A hunger for escape grows
On an open shelf
Surrounded by my story
I have lost my own soul
Upon an open world's edge
And endless and lonely road

It's my created world
It's my created plague
It's my created punishment
For my created hate
It's my created nightmare
In my created sleep
It's my created six foot hole
Which was dug for only me




Details | Quatrain | |

My Torment

A fleeting still small voice tries to warn me
A sudden overwhelming desire to run
The tell tale taste of metallic flakes
Means my nightmare has begun

Everything around takes on a ghostly pallor
A landscape of anguish and corrosion
A moment of silence before the violence
The flash of light, the brilliant explosion

The sound of the Sun fills my ears
Fear, my throat, though none escapes me
And paralyzed I clench my eyes
As my tormentor prepares to rape me

And it's endeavor is absolute
Consumption is its ultimate goal
It exists to chase me so it can erase me
Whilst feasting on my soul

And then that familiar salty smell 
The sudden rush of warmth so stings
Engaging me relentlessly
In vile unspeakable things

Over and over and over again
My limbs stretched and wrought
As it's teeth tear my bones bare
It's mind defiles my thoughts

And still wounds beget wounds beget wounds
As in the mouth of madness I suffer
And with every injury he just seems to be
Rougher and rougher and rougher

Then just as suddenly as it began it ceases
And for a moment I am clearer
And then the true horror of it all
Is revealed in a darkly lit mirror

There in front of me stands my destroyer
Face flush with it's fill of my pain
And I find that it's eyes and mine
My God, they’re one in the same


Details | I do not know? | |

Watch, See, Listen, Hear

You watch the tears fall from her eyes.
You see her walk out and away from the crowd.
You listen as she tells how unwanted and useless she is.
You hear her cry from the bathroom.
You watch her struggle to socialize.
You see her isolate herself from humanity.
You listen to her criticize herself.
You hear her fight against what might help.
You watch as she gets herself out of every social situation.
You see how uncomfortable she gets when someone speaks of her condition.
You listen to how she makes excuses.
You hear her say she is okay.
You just watch and see and listen and hear as she pushes her way through life.
And eventually, that may not be enough.


Details | Free verse | |

The missing me

With shadows in the dark,
Facing atrocities of the cold,
Yet drenched in the sweat,
I walk down the street

Am bound to follow what others passed by,
Crime it is as if else I try,
Tears follow the path of my cheek,
And it’s the only way my eyes speak,
Lips of mine when turn dry.

I smile I really try to,
To be happy as if I was made to,
I speak of something I don’t know
But there’s what my heart knows,
That’s what my eyes ponder,
And that’s what untold but true,
Yes I know,
Yes I do,
I am missing me in me,
Yes I know,
Yes I do,
I am missing being me……….


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Elegy | |

I Need Your Help Daddy

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here

I can’t get back in control of my emotions 
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy

I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help 

Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance 
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help







Details | Free verse | |

Moments In Time

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark

The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been 
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark. 


Details | Narrative | |

The Empty Tissue Box

My heart was in such pain
I felt like I was going to go insane
I just don't know what to do 
And my eyes full of tears that distort my view

I fell to my knees and felt the urge
My muscle tighten and pin needles struck me like a surge
My body was warm and with feelings so confused
My mind felt sadness had fused

I could not conquer my fears
I just sat down and fell into tears
When some close to you passes on
It felt like a warmth has gone

So I raised my hand towards a box that was empty with no tissue
I first was embarrass and had a little bit of issue
All my friends hugged me and said sorry for your loss
So now I cry in my bed and toss


April 14, 2013


Details | Didactic | |

This silly thing called Love

Craze comes out of barrel of joy,
Joy, what makes you behave coy,
Coyness, a thing that would get a toy
From the soul, hands of a smart lil' boy

That his head bobs in saving his mother,
Mother, the filial original not really similar
Similar? To the father, rasp voice that quiver
From the garden of marital rupture. It'ld linger

Over the elms of gut, ebbing with the tide
Of bliss ended. Never should beings all hide
The love, warmth of family. Filial code to side
A broken china, a shattered shuttle that'ld bide

Brittle bliss. Come in the evenings and laugh
At the debris of the drum, a rumble of cough
Upon anodyne ruble of ruin. Feed from trough
O! Love if you aren't life. Then live quickly, rough.


Details | Narrative | |

African Child

" From the debt of my heart"

The African child
Sat behind the bamboo fence
He was sober and tense
Sputtering and wondering.
He forsook the bush meat
And the gathering under the moonlight
For sobriety and the causes of his uncertainties.
His clothes were like dried leaves
His feet like openings in the eaves
He longed to see a brighter tomorrow
He clarified the causes of his sorrow;
Sins of the father,
Fighting not to make things better
Therefore darkening the weather,
Making his destiny falter and bitter.
Tears exuded from the sound of his flute,
His fears enlarged like a parachute
But one thing he never understood,
Watch and pray, oh! African root
For your foundation is stinky, filthy,
Faulty and guilty...... watch and pray.



Details | Ballad | |

Unanswered Poems

Don’t send me more 
Of your tragic poems
My dear 
Covered in blood
Of your monthly flood
Of tears

Don’t send me more 
Of your angry poems
My dear
Carved with the knife
Of your molten spite
And fears

I’m just a peddler 
With a cart
Bringing discount words
To hearts
Broken hearts across the land
Woman left without her man
Broken hearts throughout the world
Anguished boy and crying girl

Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to read, for me to bear
Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to get from here to there

Don’t send me more
Of your bitter poems
My sweet
Forged in the fire
Of your endless ire
And grief

Don’t send me more 
Of your hopeless poems
My sweet
Ripped from the womb
Of the lonely room
You keep

I’m just a peddler 
With a cart
Bringing discount words
To hearts
Broken hearts across the land
Woman left without her man
Broken hearts throughout the world
Anguished boy and crying girl

Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to read, for me to bear
Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to get from here to there

(You see that shadow on the road
Trudging ‘neath its heavy load
A heart weighed down by sands of time
And your poems only make him cry
And he won’t add them to the pile
So he can walk another mile)

(And he won’t add them
To the pile
So he can walk 
Another mile)

Too heavy, dear 
Too heavy, dear
For me to read 
For me to bear

(They make him sad
Make him cry
Beat him down
Deep inside)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear

They make me sad
Make me cry
Feel as though 
I want to die

(And he won’t add them
To the pile
So he can walk 
Another mile)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear

(A heart weighed down 
By sands of time
And your poems 
Only make him cry)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear



Details | Free verse | |

Deaf and Gone

I am whatever you say I am...
but, let's get back to reality...

       Three short years ago, this room shined welcome mats across a screen of doldrums.
A place of unfamiliarity that screamed, 
"You don't belong!"
Yet, a voice of reason spoke and said,
"Expand yir' roots. Venture beyond the comfort zone. Academia resides inside that room, but know you won't be alone."
Repeatedly,brainwaves declined what my wife and editor had told me.
I'd say,
"no way, I'm givin' up my soul for free, they read, they pay, like it's always been, the way it's going to always be!"
Unbeknownst to me one day, and with a slight of hand, my "Open Sores" were put on display and surprisingly more than a handful of great ladies and nice guys began to give feedback on what I had devised. 
This interaction was something very new, helpful, and impressive. For a change, it was something real.
For years, those around me were quick to give praise with hidden reasons. Constructive criticism is amazing, and I welcomed being corrected or set straight.
Now there are those who choose to shut me down without explanation, and call me names.
DO NOT mistake me for sophomoric! These words bleeding from my guts have no style and need no approval. There is no thinking involved here, no plan. If you don't like it, fine...don't censor or bracket me in. So what if I am illiterate?  If you don't like "street poetry" or the pathetic stuff I write, don't read it. If I offend you, tell me.
We should welcome those who are different than us. 
Words of truth inspire movement, like fire.
I came to this room to expand my horizons, step outside the box, learn, help, grow. 
There will be no apologies dealt for being different, or for being labelled as something uncomfortable to you. 
This has been an ok room so far, but there is some clique trickanery going on.
If the dictionary must come into play, let me recommend looking up the term "Poetic License."
True, I may not be the writer you prefer, or aspire to be....but tread carefully my friend, for you have no idea of my profession. I've made a fine living, for a good long time, spewing words onto paper. I came from nothing, and may still be nothing to you...still, I do what I love, have no boss.
I am not an aspiring writer who dreams of a life, I live my dream. In conclusion, I must wish you luck in finding what you peddle poetry for. Until then, keep 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Secret Cries

My secret cries are my pains I hide, hidden from the world to see. Hidden so intense my soul became debility of weakness. My heart hinders to collapse and deflates. Completely of decay, secretly lessen for the amounts of importance. Shedding everyday by natural process, my cries are easier to hide. Hidden behind my diluted mask of faulty smiles, I portray when you are around. As I wear with grace, deceiving you with an illusion of happiness. I die a little more inside. A cast away of pain, a cavity is what I became. Over dosing the quantity heartbreak, so overwhelmed my heartaches. Now begin causing the feeling of great sorrow, never wanting to see tomorrows. My secret cries of agony, a thought to die is where my truth lies. Memories are influencing misery, emotionally and physically. What hides behind my smile is vulnerability. My cries vocalize, overflowing with tears burns my insides. My heart is a furnace that burns for cremating my flesh of lies. Keeps me feeling, as thou I am no longer alive. Always walking through the crowd with my head up high, fore these feelings no one will ever find. My secret cries therefore shall die when I die. Then there will be no longer any secret cries to hide. Nevertheless, until the day I leave this earth, my cries shall stay buried alive.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Soul Awakened

She is the muse to her own sorrow; She is the digger of her grave. She is the painter of her ocean view and every fatal wave. She is the shadow of her Father; She is the darkness in your sight. She is the night without the stars surrounding pale moonlight. She is the music with no words; She is sweet love without the reason. She is your dreamer with submission cold by warmth with every season. She is your pet with cold intentions; She is your baby scared and shaken. She is the bold and pure- the lost and found, She is a soul awakened.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Why I cann't see my shadow

The world use to taste like oyster's, and my hunger reflect the possible.
"Why I cann't see my shadow, cause my destiny goes forward, into the
Impossible".
Been out and about for too long, all within me are sad songs.
I can not see my shadow, trying not to look back leave's me
constanily along.
"Along to face the battle's, the battle's of, Why I cann't see my shadow's".
Its Been a long journey, this road that leads to homeliness and despair.  A
road without future endeaver, a road I wouldn't reccomment to noone, a
road with danger, a road were noone care's.
Drug's are not for everyone, either is hardluck. I wonder if tomorrow will
there be provision for all to make a "buck". ($$)
'Yes-yess..(yess).... I been so-down lately, No my spirit is of the sanity of being poor.
"Why I cann't see my shadow, cann't explain it, even if answer's of
crying to feel the world, is in response once more. Been so-down lately, Why
want oppourtunity come knocking at my back-door.
Not the front, no dare not make others think, favors is clearily my best friend.
When I am ashame to face the world today, my shadow will not follow me,
when I am weak, and excuse's are to no end, then I do see a shadow, but
it is the shadow of someone who once was a "friend".
The world use to taste like marshmellow's, and I didn't have to beg.
The job market was plentiful and so was happiness and worshippers to no bitter
end.  "Why cann't I see my shadow", there is joy at the end of the rainbow.
"Why I cann't see my shadow", are the pain in my life so severe.
One day I know I will get back up, One Day (when) it happen, maybe I will be
there to see if my shadow is able to show my tear(s)...










Details | Limerick | |

Borderline Poster Child

Who am I, oh, who am I? Just a poser child Borderline? A series of bold contradictions Led on by doctors false predictions Diagnosing all the time... Angry outbursts fill the air, Throwing objects everywhere, They drug me up, because they're lazy It's too much work to help the crazy I hate the pills, but they don't care Take the drugs, and you'll feel better, We'll smoke some bud, and chill together But even if I smoked the weed Surely that's not all I need The lovely high won't last forever I get attatached to everyone, But when they get too close, I run So many arrows in my heart Cupid shoots, but then I part Not phased by all the wrong I've done So put me on more medication, I'll throw in some dedication, But even then it's not enough This emptiness is still too tough All that's left is contemplation


Details | Free verse | |

Shade of Ulysses Butterfly

Her head tilted back towards the darkened clouds,

Mocha curls rests on shoulder blades,

Lids shut tight hiding emerald eyes shedding crystals,

Water rushed from the grey sky,

Shades of ulysses butterfly flooded over flesh,

The drops pierced her tender pores,

Seeping under her pale skin,

Merging with her spirit as one,

Then remained.


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Turbulence

The voices grow louder, Intensifying with emotion, anger lining every aggressive word. My insides squeeze tighter as the vitriol poisons my mind, How does such hostility exist? As the sound of hatred deepens, The feelings strengthen their grip, like a vice, So tight, I can no longer breathe All the negative emotions I have ever felt, fill me, Threatening to overflow. So long have they been banished… Enough. No more! My mouth opens, An earsplitting scream of pain and suffering shatters the silence, Sobs of sorrow and grief wrack my body, Murderous shrieks of anger and hate, Wretched cries of self-pity and self-loathing, Poison the air. Now, free of these emotions. But the monster still exists Within the dark depths of my mind.


Details | Rubaiyat | |

No One

Silent screams no one hears
Tired eyes filled with tears
Gut wrenching heartache no one feels
Emotions dark enough to kill
Mental exhaustion no one sees
Strong enough it hurts to breathe
An answer seekin no one speaks
A language spoken without speech


Details | Rhyme | |

Alcoholic's Suicide

He sits there with a beer in his hand…
With residue from his last line on his nose.
No lights on in the house,
Because he’s always home alone.

To drunk to get up he urinates on himself.
But he can still get another beer.
He sits down and starts to cry.
He wonders why his family isn’t here.

He’s hung up on the past.
Things that could have been…
But right now he sits alone,
And he’s slowly dying.

He doesn’t even care about his daughter.
Who tries to stop him from drinking.
She cries and begs him to stop.
She sees him slowly sinking.

Soon he’ll lose his family…
Or more likely he’ll die.
It’s truly difficult to watch…
My daddy kill himself one beer at a time.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Cutting Class


With every cut she makes.
She loses herself deeper within the pain.
Cutting taking pills to keep numb.

Hididng scars under long sleves.
Blending in praying never to stick out.
She wishes to be invisable within the halls.

Avioding eye contact with the popular crowd.
hiding in plain sight.
A worn composition book bares the agony
of her teenage years.

Every scar holds a untold story.
Past flings with false promises of hope.

Dark shirts and darker thoughts.
She lives in a prison yet has no dellusion of release.

Red stains the ivory skin.
She feels the pains warmth only to
feel it fade again.

Head down like a ghost she 
does vanish in the crowd. 
Slicing into the flesh to bring 
warmth to the cold empty shell.

Every page speaks of angst with a sweet
passion filled twist.
Misery of many held by few.

Scars of her time.
Marking every moment and year.
Cutting for a escape.

She's stuck in a sea of people.
Wishing to be anywhere but here.


Details | Rhyme | |

Winter's Relief

Let winter come 
And freeze the sky 
No more will shadows cast  
Let showers turn to heaps of snow 
With gardens hidden deep 

Let working cease 
Migration fly  
Let herds to safety dash 
Farmers idle, fires glow 
No fields left to reap 

My picket fence
Blockaded high
No perfect cobbled path
Let winter come, and snowstorms blow   
I need some time to sleep  

By: Kyle Ezra Kriticos


Details | Tanka | |

Seeking Answers (for Jared's contest)

Wasted days
Wandering through life’s maze
Trying to sort the truth from the lies

I call out, but it seems nobody hears my cries
With each futile attempt, something inside me dies
Skies overhead are filled with thunder

What was my worst blunder?
I wonder

To heaven I gaze
Lord, help me find contentment
In hope my hands raise
Yes, I know I was once blessed
Raised well by loving parents

Is there no cure for this malaise?
How did these sad feelings arise?
I listen but hear no replies
My question I seek to rephrase

As much sorrow on my heart weighs 
Searching for words that will not rise
Is there no cure for this malaise?
How did these sad feelings arise?

Forgive me, Lord, I’ll change my ways
I’m humbled; I will compromise
Contrition you’ll find in my eyes
Must I be sad throughout my days?
Is there no cure for this malaise?


*Combination of Trois Par Huit, Tanka and Rondel for Jared’s contest.


Details | Imagism | |

Guilty Reflection

Looking dead at me in this smeared mirror...
a lost man
tormented
face red
brittle
and teared

stacking excuses 
the longer I stare
this stress abuses 
my conscience with a glare

a guilty reflection warns
my mind is the prison I fear
as I long to escape 
from the  hell I dwell in
right here

who have I become? 
what have I done right?
crossroads appear suddenly 
as fog fills the mirror tonight

darkness owning the room,
prefers I suffer slow
so I proceed with speed 
because it’s the only way I know

tasteless stories
flood my life’s hard bound chapters 
while this smeared mirror reflects tears
dripping from a face 
which was once filled with laughter. 


Details | Free verse | |

Bystander

As you sit in your car
All dressed in black.
 You know,
It didn’t have to end like this
Now as you think back you remember
The faint white scars etched in her fair skin
And the timid smile that hid years of despair
 You remember that time your friends saw her crying in the hall
You sat there and laughed as they tortured her
The times you saw her sitting alone at lunch
She looked up at you with pleading eyes
“Hey, can you help me,” they said.
You thought about it , but instead you pretended you didn’t see her
And you left her there, sad and alone
That pleading look now haunts you
It begged somebody, anybody for help
But why should you commit social suicide for her?
You just kept walking away, selfish
Now though, you think back to those boring assemblies
About bullying and what it could lead to
Why didn’t you just listen?!
Maybe you could have spoken up, or found her help
Its too late now though, as you walk up to her casket
To say your first and last words,
To a girl, whose real name
You never cared to learn
“I’m sorry…”


Details | Rhyme | |

The Tranquillizers




                             THE HOSPITAL FAIRYLAND

They walked together, hand in hand,
Into life’s magical fairyland.
Where there was no trouble, where there was no pain.
Where life could really, begin all over again.
Where were no men in little white coats.
Forcing you all, to stuff drugs down your throats.
Forcing you to do, what you didn’t want to.
Telling you it was all for the best, for you,
People shouting, people crying.
Most of the people talking about dying.
What is this hell, we’ve all come to?
It’s called coming off drugs, we all have It to go through.
Where will it end, what will we do?
None of us really, has a clue.
We are given more pills, we are told, we have to take.
To the men in white coats, life’s a piece of cake.
We are the prisoners, they guard the doors.
Some try to creep out, on all fours.
Into hell and back, we go for a ride.
Eventually if we’re lucky, we come out the other side.
Where we can walk, hand in hand.
Into life’s magical Fairyland.
Where there is trouble, where there is pain.
But at least we can start, living again.





Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Stronger Than She Thinks.....

She is a loving mother, 
 her pain is like no other.
Kids taken all at once away.
 A price too steep to have to pay.

Holds her head up high, 
 when all she wants to do is die.
She thinks her pain is masked, 
 but as you see, its no easy task.

She's strong and still fights, 
 even when they say she has no rights.
She dreams of seeing her kids, 
 trying hard to keep the pain hid.

She goes to court and really fights, 
 only to come home alone and cry at night.
Still, she continues this uphill battle.
 Her confidence, they constantly rattle.

Goes to work and tries to smile, 
 as her heart is breaking all the while.
Wish I was a much better sister, 
 who called and let her know I missed her.

I had my own tumultuous issues, 
 it was she who really needed the tissues.
I just had a crappy, low life man.
 By her side her family should stand.

Instead they all give her grief.
 Do they not see her pain will never be brief?
No, they all say they are sorry, but they're full of lies.
 Didn't they know it was her LIFE in demise?

A better sister, I'll try to be.
 Her back she never turned to me.
I hope she knows she's loved and cared for.
 Her smile I'd like to see more.

I know that's no easy task.
 But that I will still ask.
As they push her to the brink,
 She's stronger than she ever thinks.




A combined effort for Kristy.....


Details | I do not know? | |

Love hurts, my love

Love is something that I struggle with,
Trying to be loved by that right one,
But can't proceed because I'm ashamed,
Ashamed that I might not love right,
Ashamed that people may look and talk,
Ashamed of how my family would react,
Ashamed by the temptation of my life,
The temptation of my heart,
My mind is saying it's not right,
But my heart is saying yes,
Just be you.
I've tried pleasing people and giving people the world,
And I've been half pleasing back,
I know not to look for anything,
But I can't help it, when I haven't received much.
Love for me is a real struggle,
I'm being loved by someone,
Someone special to my heart,
Someone that shows me the world,
Who gives me encouraging words,
But I can't love back,
For some reason.
From now on I'm a try,
Try to love to the fullest,
I really want to love,
And be loved,
I want to feel love from my family,
Loved by the most beautiful, caring, funniest, serious at time, smart,and well talented person,
Love, love, love,
What a mystery WORD!!


Details | Free verse | |

Distress

I don’t know how much more I can take,
I just want it all to go away.
Should I even be here right now?
Should I be alive?
Do I deserve to exist?
Why am I even here?
It’ clear I’m not wanted
I can hear it in your voice
In the names I’m called
In the way I’m treated
So why do I bother?
Why do I continue to torture myself?
With being around you all?
I know why,
Because I thought we were a family
But we clearly aren’t
I am not wanted
I am worthless
I am ugly
I am a burden
I just want to die…sometimes


Details | Free verse | |

The Stars Are Mine Tonight

I guide my body,
but my soul I do not.
My mind.
My feelings.
They've slowly broken apart.

The darkness screams at me,
trying to reel me in.
"they're gone," they say.
"you're nothing but pitty and sin."

Though most think it's hard to step foot in this place,
it takes true strength to find another way.

As the black swallows me whole,
I see a million bright lights.
I lay there in my sorrow,
and know the stars are mine tonight.

Somehow they -- uniquely twinkling --
take my feelings on adventures to slow my breathing.

They strongly look through me,
and have my mind soaked
with things like courage, and happiness, and hope.

I lay there for hours until their vivid wisdom fades.
the dreadful transition of night to day.

When the sun gradually peaks over the horizon,
I notice the pain in my hand from clenching my knife.
But as the light shines upon me,
the only feeling I have is the feeling of life.

I stand face to face with the greatest star of all.
Feeding off of its power, I break down my wall.

The sun shows me the paths that I have to choose from,
but it's up to me to choose the right one.

I'm ready to cut ties with the sadness I hold.
I shall live my life right and pick the right way to go.

I'm eager for night to fall,
to show them that they were right.
They all found their way.
The stars are mine tonight.


Details | Free verse | |

The Beauty In Futility

Futility
my heart breathes its last breath
Embraces its own death
Ready to be reborn 
and made anew

Can’t live a lie
Refuse to “do”
and I’ll DIE....
Focus now on why I’ll live 
And never touch the sky. 

I have to forget you
I have to reject you 
But I will never love anyone 
like I loved you.....

I heard you whisper 
and you never knew it
I wiped the tears from your eyes 
But you couldn’t feel it

You’re lost and you’ll never find you
And neither will I 
And I’m so sorry--
but I’m NOT. 

I'll attempt to reset
Try to forget
But you know, I never will. 

Be my dirty little secret 
My very worst-kept secret 
Sweet, smooth, beautiful poison 
My infernal and endless attraction 
towards complete and utter self-destruction 

I fell in love with the devil
And it will take one heck of an angel
To save me from the likes of you....

My addiction 
my confusion
my nightmare
my dream never to come true

Oh, I’ll never forget the times
we never shared
I’ll never forget 
how you were never there

Always me, the stars, and tears
And I ask you,
what kind of life is THAT?

I have to face the facts 
I don’t know what happens now
but it happens without you. 

The stains will always be there
the scars will never fade
But the memory of you----
it HAS to. 

I could carry the torch forever
But it would only consume me
I can’t cry another tear for you
Or I’ll dry up completely

It doesn’t affect you
and you never deserved me

You’ll go on with your life, too
All, all alone
Because you’ll only ever be in love
with you. 


Details | Free verse | |

In Her Fathers Arms

The evening star glowing in a dust choked sky. A girl stands by a window, with a tear in her eye. She stares at the scene, hardly visible through the grime. She whispers in the wind, “Bring my Dad home this time” She opens the window, and climbs outside, Having a flashlight, in her hand, as her guide. Its glow shows the sides of the street. She’s afraid for what the light will meet Bodies piled everywhere she turns, She wants to go home, and never return. What brought this fate upon her town? All her emotions are stripped and torn down. A frightening sound explodes in her ear. Shadows in the road now appear. She run and hides behind a broken wall Praying to god the rest doesn’t fall. Footsteps coming closer to her She can’t tell who because it’s all a blur She backs away further so not to be seen in light, Quieting her heart pounding from fright. Gun shots and screams fill the air, All these sounds, her ears couldn’t bear. A slight whimper slips from her lips, And over the broken stone she trips. The shadows run closer, showering her heart with fear, She wishes they would just disappear. They pass by her; she fills with delight, She just wants to see her dad tonight. She shines the light, to show her place, And to the shine comes a familiar face. She doesn’t understand who’s to blame Because on the tag shows her father’s name. She holds in her tears and refrains from crying. She falls to the ground where her dad was lying. She lifts his arm and buries her face in his chest. She closes her eyes wanting to forget the rest. The shadows emerge yet she doesn’t see, How close the end for her would be. They look down at her, aim, shoot, and fire. Being with her dad is her only desire. The night had ended causing a little girl harm But she took her last breath, in her father’s arms.


Details | Free verse | |

Ocean In The Deep Space Of My Heart

I’m diving deep down into the ocean world full of spectacular plasmatic bubbles enchanting creatures breathed them out orange, yellow, pink , purple and red wallowing through dazzling soft neon-colored starfishes in quest of its most marvelous graces weeds with various tones of green wagging gracefully along the way like curtains in musical enchantments and coral reefs in mountain ranges with their majestic beauty in carousels of fish and seahorses still diving deep down into the ocean world in quest of its marvelous graces in unfathomable depth of rainbow-colored whirlpools deep within I see from afar my precious pearls
8th Place Winner Contest: Space Odyssey Judged: 10/5/12 Sponsor: Poet Nathan -----D September 21,2012 by Leonora Galinta


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

After the Party

It' over, and...
The last guest's gone home
Now you sit there, all alone
Exhausted, drained...
The clean-up can wait
Till tomorrow brings
A brand new date

The pain returns,
Though you'd had a break,
As if you had suddenly
Become awake...

Dishes and glasses,
Spills and more,
Give credence
To your company,
That have passed 
Through your door...

You sit a spell,
Weigh the odds,
Was it fun?
A gift of the Gods?

Now you are sad,
For you are alone again,
Your only companion
Your diary pen...

Too tired to write,
Suddenly it seems
a waste,
All your thoughts
Between covers
Stuck together
With emotional paste

So to your lonely bed
You crawl again
Wishing it was like an older time ,when
A warm body awaited you,
With arms outstretched,
And each night anew
Sweet nectar of love
Shared by our lips,
And not this loneliness
That at your heart rips

Someday, I hope,
Someday I pray,
It will turn out,
Another way,
For loneliness a bitter pill
To swallow,
With prospects of more pain,
With each day to follow.


Details | Narrative | |

America, Why Did You Stray?

America, why did you stray from the old way.
A constitution put forth, the foundation of our land,
barely recognizable what was originally Jefferson's hand.
Tarnished and smudged by misinterpretation,
overindulgence and greed, to satisfy political,
judicial, and journalistic need.
Once majority rule, now bordering on ridicule,
the law of the land, ever changing, meeting demands,
of whoever takes a stand.

America, why did you stray, parents unable to discipline,
fear children undisciplined now rule, school in chaos,
students unruly, guaranteed to pass, unprepared for their future,
parents unsure, wish for the past, hope the next generation,
won't be like the last.

America, why did you stray, streets used to be a place to play,
neighbors knew one another, socialized every day,
doors left unlocked, nothing to fear, families stayed close,
helped one another, took care of mother.

Now drugs rule the day, hate and crime more common than play,
multiple locks symbolic of today, rarely talk to a stranger,
living in fear; life no longer precious, taken away,
day after day, the bloody count rises, a country in crisis,
victims pay, guilty appeal, courts give them the best deal.
Nobody protests for victims rights, put a murderer to death,
they scream all night.

America, why did you stray, hatred and bigotry alive 
and well today, nationalities split, long for the old way,
when an American, was just an American, now hyphenation,
the accepted way.

America, why did you stray, once an industrial giant
you gave it away, too high a standard for industry to pay,
moved out of country, the new American way, unemployment,
poverty, homelessness rapidly increasing, ruined lives,
while billions are spent on so called allies.

America, why did you stray, what's written today,
barely address the wrongs building every day,
religion is accepted, God is not,
country divided, politically split,
presidential bashing provides journalistic wit,
hatred and bigotry, live for it.

America why did you stray, new chapters every day,
really a damn shame.


Details | Lyric | |

Scream, Gone

Stomp, stomp, stomp, Scream, scream, scream, Before the stomp, stomp, stomps, He, she, they screamed screamed, And screamed, at I, Scream at I which the thoughts, Of comeback come near, near, and nearer, Stomp, stomp, stomp, I hear the stomps, they come closer, And closer and closer, Stomp, stomp, stomp My heart beating faster, faster, faster! The room, spinning, spinning, spinning! Times going, gone, gone! Stomps coming closer, faster! The screams getting louder, louder! Stomp, scream, stomp! Nothings more worse than when you see the, He, she, they behind the stomping of the stomps, The screaming, of the screams, The fire, hell, saddened in the eyes, Is what hurts most, rather than the, Stomp, stomp, stomp, Or the, Scream, scream, scream.


Details | Free verse | |

Carbon Monoxide (CO) Week 2: Carbon Cabrona

Smokeless inhales hurt.
I cough tar on my shirt.
As my black lungs breathe,
Shrilling exhales wheeze.

Cabrona
Falls me
Down to
My knees.

The nicotine cracks
My will.
My composure
Spills.

I want 
This.
I must 
Have this.

I sink
Into
The brink
Of madness.


Details | Rhyme | |

Rehab

So much I wanted to say. So much I wanted to shout.
It was like being trapped behind bars without a way
to get out.
My mind going wild with all these questions of why.
The only way to escape was to fall asleep or to cry.
What did I do so bad that made me have to pay?
My friends, my dreams, and my life was swepped away.
I know I can do it! I try and I try.
Nothing seems to get better. I sometimes wish
I would Die.
Starved for attention. I wanna talk to the world.
I just miss being loved. Miss the warmth of a girl.
Snickers and stairs is what my life has become.
I'm treated like I'm a kid, like I'm sick, or I'm dumb.
One day to the next. Life becomes work just to be alive.
I thank god for my blessings. I thank god I survived.
I finally see some improvement. More hope tickles
my brain.
It was worth all the time, all the tears, all the pain.
I awake with a smile and new hope to move on.
I did it! I did it! All those hard times are gone!


Details | Rhyme | |

Nevermore

With the weather cold and dry
My mind wanders far and wide
Within the future things in store
Negative thoughts, nevermore

Of course the mind can think of horrible thoughts
The pain that left the memory, not forgot
Until one day, it returns to life
To fear it with your heart, nevermore

This stone inside is your sanctuary
Not to be broken or to make one wary
Demons from the past surround your love
Let these Legion win, nevermore

Alas, true lovers can fight them off
Not lie, bicker, hate or scoff
Predict the weather tomorrow pleasant
Allow the rain to come, nevermore

You cannot allow this darkness to thrive
To swarm your soul like a hornets’ hive
Beware of those who intend to kill
Let them take your heart, nevermore

Titles are a trivial thing
Would phones or your heart start to ring?
When your darling returns home in your arms
Let the outside in, nevermore

For you and our love are all that matter
My heart and soul come together in patter
For my weakness is your voice
Allow us to be apart, nevermore


Details | Free verse | |

Forgotten You

Forgotten you
As your mind collects the memories of yesterday
Forgotten You
Epiphanies tie into knotty strings of realization
That very moment. . . 
You merely exist

Back then. . .those smiles
Those. . .distant laughs
Some you remember by name
Gone now maybe
Like the exhalation of the wind
Others dispersed in the world of arbitrary happening
Like leaves from falling, man-made trees
There is no doubt that they have
Forgotten you

Activate the bomb
Ignite the fuse
And you’re on next year’s history book
Never forgotten
But drained of all remaining good

That smile you gave
That happiness
The warm embrace so long ago
Salt-coated with piles of rubbish
Over last remaining mental spurts of comfort
Evil, evil, evil, evil, EVIL. . .
Always absorbed and remembered
. . .though never forgiven. . .

All good and gracious sentiments
Packed up in a box set nonchalantly in Downstair’s storage
. . .that chair with the broken leg in the corner of the room
That mangled cobweb holding a dangling, lifeless spider
A drowned sailor’s hat drifting through the current of the ocean
The single tear from a soldier’s vigilant, memory-stricken eye
The frustrating thoughts of a mute
The unchanged. . .HATED deformations

Forgotten you. . .
One soul brings to light weary, unthought-of happenings
Wedged deep into what she can only imagine
With not even a hint of understanding
. . .of the pain. . . .of the bewildering distortions
Of the ugly. . .
One soul merely vomits sickly verse after verse

As humanity embraces its downfall
The poet hangs onto her unjustifiable, forgotten. . .
Words


Details | Acrostic | |

ABUSE

Agony
Blood
Unrealistic pain
Sheer terror
Emotional scars that never heal


Details | Lyric | |

Drenched In Silence

This was originally a poem by my little brother David Breidenthal. You can search it and find that my song version is a little bit similar to his poem. Enjoy! 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have no capability to cry for help I have no energy to save myself Can you hear the silence of my sad prayer? Daddy says You’re mad at me Are You even there? Drenched in silence…drenched in silence Can You hear me? Will You save me From him? Why do You stare at me From high above? Why do You laugh and jeer at me Where is the love? Oh, I know You hear me Feel my despair All the others are happy God, it isn’t fair… Drenched in silence…drenched in silence… Can You hear me? Will You save me? Ahhh….ahhh…..ahhh Something tells me Something tells me You hurt no one…no one Something tells me Something screams to me You hurt no one Not him, nor her, nor He… Just me… Drenched in silence…drenched in silence… I have no capability To cry for help I have no confidence To find you myself I will never believe What he said No one laid a hand on you You are not dead, just— Drenched in silence…drenched in silence Can you hear me? Will you save me? Can you here me? Do you fear me? Daddy says You’re mad at me Daddy pulls my hair Daddy says I’m bad to You Daddy says You’re there Can you hear me? Daddy says You’re mad at me Daddy says beware Daddy says I’m bad to you Daddy wants me bear Daddy says You’re mad at me Daddy pulls my hair Daddy says You’ll forgive me But I don’t think you care Drenched in silence…drenched in silence… Can You hear me? Will you save me? (from him) Can You hear me? Can You hear me? Can’t You hear me? Can’t You hear me? Can You hear me? Hear me, hear me Hear me, hear me Hear me, hear me Hear me…hear me


Details | Ballade | |

Imagine

Imagine lakes of dreams 
Blood contained streams
Imagine oceans that behold undiscovered beings
Imagine human life depended off of cheers and games
Man design’s umbrellas
And eventually would play a part in acid rain
Imagine not wanting to smell another rose 
Or touch another soul 
Because of despair and shame
Imagine in the mist of your demise
You have the passion to rejoice and sing
Imagine driving pass shattered glass
The interior  is soaked with blood stains
Your mind can't comprehend the fact 
that it's a dead family in the next lane
Imagine dreaming for freedom
As a result by your neck you hang
Imagine for the sake of progress 
You whip a man on his back and call him a slave.
Rage, Pain, Fortune, and fame
You don't have to imagine this 
Because that's what life brings.


Details | Free verse | |

Isolation Keeps

Along roads where mistral sweeps
Loneliness within ambles on
Every other step falling, keeps isolation
While, happiness continues out of sync


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

Loosing It

  < Early morning,

   Its rainy and dark,

   Quit dull,

   Cloudy and gray,

   Emotions flowing not,

   So dim and sadden,

   Stuck in a zone,

   Feeling all alone,

   Suddenly blacken,

   Now dressed in lace,

   And black satin,

   Emotions flowing all over,

   Yet still lost,

   Dazed and amazed,

   Felt crushed pancake flatten......>






Details | Rhyme | |

My mother, my earth.

Into the light I see,
with rays in clouds and warmth in me.
Brittle is the air around,
no voice is there, nor sweeter sound.

Within my scars and broken back,
there are my kin, there love I lack.
The oceans turn, therefore I weep,
Is it truly my tears to keep?

Now the mountains begin to fall,
like sand and dust to death they call.
I hear my children bleed and cry,
there bellies thirst and almost dry.

Some will seat and eat there fill,
"lets help them now, so now we will!
His mother would find pride within,
a pretty thing this life of sin.

Alas, my days are almost through,
my breath, my flesh and heart is too.
Let this be my final song,
for war alone is for the strong.

Into the night I see,
is there still love left for me?


Details | Verse | |

Pain

Drowning is excrutiating.
More so in your own blood,
Your illusions.
Slowly, I hum along to the
tune of my own death.
What else could a puppet do 
But dance?

Death is a treasure. Peaceful.
Life is torture. Unbearable.
Ashes lie where a bright flame flickered.
Violently extinguished.
Choked by a diet of untruths.

My endurance is puzzling.
Maybe i was ensnared-
Irretrievably bound.
Inevitable isn't it?
To feel the ripping of a heart
And the extermination of young emotions.

The humming ceases-
The end is near.
His pulsing palm is
where my pump rests.

The fiction" I love you,"
sometimes seems so true.
Love is pain.
Pain is not love


Details | Rhyme | |

Who will free my soul

WHO WILL FREE MY SOUL?

Criticism and sarcastic words is all i hear,
Nobody ever appreciates my efforts.
Failure and fiasco is all fear,
Inspiration derived doesn’t seem to comfort.

Mask I put won’t conceal my pain.
Favors made, countless I pray.
I’m being controlled like horse’s rein.
To my oppressors, I am a prey.

Torturing my body will not tame,
The deeds done won’t reveal my compassion.
To go down this way will only embrace my name.
But who ought to test my oppression?

My character resembles a fragment,
Nothing to reform to, my incarnation unknown
Broken inside diversify my temperament,
When I die, will I reincarnate and be renowned?

My purpose in this world is incarcerated.
Confiscating my dreams in contempt,
My dilapidated soul is imprisoned.
Who will bail me out? Oh! Dear, who ought to attempt?

An endeavor to convince of my righteousness,
Is like beating a dead horse.
Crystal washing my mistakes won’t justify my fallibleness,
But will craft my conscience till I passenger the hearse!

					By Willem Pietersen


Details | Lyric | |

Normal To Me

This isn't just a poem This isn't just another emotion This is me, these are my thoughts The Imagery is my sight, And The Allegories are my Life I'm lonely, There is just me But there's so many people around but no one can hear my loudest screams Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me I'm torn, I'm Cut Part of my heart stabbed, and then taken from me The Search for my innocence, Is like a moa hunt Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Laughing and Jokes all directed towards me Just to Hurt me Cover all of the Halls "Fag, Emo, Queer" Words I too often know Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Curling her hair putting on her makeup "You're worthless and nothing to Me" Says the so-called all-loving-one As she screams: "Why am I not Pretty" Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me This is not just a poem not just some words my pen cries with each words But this is Just a Glimpse Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me


Details | Rhyme | |

My Wrists

A story is told 
Just by the look of it
You see it starts to unfold 
It's hard to take in just a bit

So many memories
I take them all with me
I pull at my sleeves
So that no one see

I don't want to hurt anyone
Even when they've hurt me
I'm fragile
Yet they still break me


Details | I do not know? | |

I Can Always Pretend

The cold touch of the metal
On my soft bare skin
The turn out can only be fatal
Ill do this with a grin
No one can ever tell
That i even feel this way
Depression doesnt ring their bell
But i know that this is the day
The day this all ends
The day that i fade
The day i make amends
The day i wont be afraid
Iv hidden it for so long
No ones ever known
Im not really this strong
The real me has never been shown
This metal razor is cold
On my oh so soft bare skin
The move im making will be bold
When i decide to let depression win
My life cut short
My life gone
My life had no support
My life is done
This razor now bloody
With a smile on my face
No movement from my body
My smile not out of place
Lying on the floor
Note tucked in my hand
Please do not ignore
For this is what it read
"I ended it for you
I ended it so be happy
Its what i had to do
I even made it snappy
You were the one
That i chose
You made me numb
And let me go
My life had its ending
But see im smiling
Im still pretending
That your 'i love you' wasn't you lying"


Details | Rubaiyat | |

I Must Go

---inspired by a story character of mine
------------------------------------------------------------------
Losing reality, losing my mind I try to stay with you but I'm falling behind This fate's going nowhere I'm left hurting inside Tomorrow's not coming What are you becoming Nothing is out there Pain and suffering forthcoming Nowhere to hide, I'm on my own Feeling so empty and alone Your hatred shines bright Your heart, a deadened stone This pain you inflict upon me Hurts greater than I'll ever let you see But still I love you so Though I know you can-will never love me I just hope you know That even though the love I want from you will never be so I'll always love you But now, before it hurts anymore, I must go...


Details | Rhyme | |

Entwinement

Bleeding around me are empty faces
Sad, drooping spaces, crumpled places
Melancholy for the light of new places
Stuck in time, frozen in time
The pangs of lonesome fill their sagging hearts
Frowning forever, frowning forever
Let me stare blankly at the stained wall
Nothing at all…nothing at all

The mind is a scary place 
The mind is a distraction
From the reality ever binding
Curbing every reaction
The mind is overwhelming
The mind is oh so sad
When we turn to larvae and graves
It’s an never-ending...
Entwinement 

Found myself looking through the tiny hole in the wall
Watching you fall, watching you fall
Scared for the neck that would break us all
You shuddered my blood…shuddered my blood
I met the eyes of the souls of your feet
Twitching and swinging…unfeeling…unfeeling
Please allow me this sole ease:
Just be with me... lie with me

The mind is a scary place 
The mind is a distraction
From the reality ever binding
Curbing every reaction
The mind is overwhelming
The mind is oh so sad
When we turn to larvae and graves
It’s an everlasting...
Entwinement

-inspired by Mad World by Gary Jules-
-also inspired by the stop motion film: The Man in the Lower-Left hand Corner of the Photograph-


Details | Lyric | |

Watch Me Die

The petals of a rose, they tremble and they fall
Just like my aching heart, my backs against a wall
so I Scream- but no one seems to hear me 
(and) I Bleed- but no one seems to worry 
(and) I Cry- but no one spares a passing glance
(and) I Die- no one seems to care

My mask, it melts away
as the flames burn through my bones, the pain it never fades
and its worse because i know the angels are not here to save me
everthing but you hates me
and im stuck with all this trapped inside
Im forced to sit and watch me die

Im in an empty room...
all hope disenegrates.
nothing left to do but get drunken, high
im willing to do anything just to get by

so I Scream- but no one seems to hear me 
(and) I Bleed- but no one seems to worry 
(and) I Cry- but no one spares a passing glance
(and) I Die- no one seems to care

My mask, it melts away
as the flames burn through my bones, the pain it never fades
and its worse because i know the angels are not here to save me
everthing but you hates me
and im stuck with all this trapped inside
Im forced to sit and watch me die
Im forced to sit and watch me die


Details | Rhyme | |

Acceptance

A bridge stood tall beneath a sky Of colour shining bright Darkness and light both amplified And beautified the night The stars, they danced in rainbow gleam Kissing the velvet base The gentle heavenliness of the dream Renewed my ugly face It seemed that years had disappeared And time had fallen asleep As I stood upon the bridge I feared But now I keenly reap A college friend was by my side Smiling futuristically I felt as if my past had died Simply renewing reality We watched, living and nonliving As the stars expanded and glided I gaped, silently forgiving My ugliness that had subsided The lake below grew jealous Of our glowing, beauteous form But we ignored it, obliviously zealous As the cold chill of night kept us warm When daylight came upon us The balance was tattered and torn My glowing frame was suddenly conscious Of the lake below, forlorn I stared upon its glimmering waters While the sun burnt out my paradise The college friend was sliced and slaughtered By the reality I have come to realise The ugliness declines to subside But who says beauty can’t be rough? The stars refuse to shine so bright But still they shimmer enough As for that random college girl I just don’t know how long But I’ll find her someday in this world And who’s to say I’m wrong?


Details | Verse | |

THERAPY

There are no lies to be written
Real life is how it's read
What I write is the honest truth
No more regrets
I've been pushed 
I've been shoved
Straight in the gut 
Where my heart bleeds out the love
No bandage around 
To patch it up
Pressure more pressure against me
On the floor bleeding
No help to come save me
Pain creeps around the room 
On the floor I try to breathe
Therapy
Need the therapy
Read this aloud 
Know what I'm about
Feel my pain
Read it
Look at my face 
Be it
I get up on my feet
Love still dripping
Someone help me!
I can't see
Therapy
Need the therapy
As I open my eyes
I see plain white bright walls
Around me 
I'm strapped
Noticed I'm patched
What happened to me?
I sit there and wonder 
Why me? Is this my fantasy?
This is what therapy put on me


Details | I do not know? | |

Why

As I remain here where I lie,
I keep asking that I will quickly die.
 
I hate this stupid self-centered life,
where all people are filled with hate & strife.

As my mom feels so wonderful from popping pills, 
I'm stuck here with the worst gut-wrenching feeling that kills.

I'm sick of my life being filled with tears, cutting, & sadness.
Why can't we just end all the madness?

Why can't people have a life where no tears are seen, only laughs, smiles, & happiness.
And no one could intervene?


Details | Prose Poetry | |

a fair day

It was a fair day for silence.

The sun had risen up courtly, almost mechanically,
Like a marionette on the strings of a puppeteer.
With the sun came Heat, wrathful to have been woken at such an hour.
As if avenging its early rise, 
Heat caused oppression, 
Discomfort and confusion 
Upon the innocent day.

It was a fair day for exclusion.

Only one was oblivious to the relentless heat,
He sat there motionless, lifeless and corpse-like.
They would glance at him nonchalantly.
He was just a piece of the scenery, 
Always had been there, 
Always would be there, 
Invisible.

It was a fair day for neglect.

Some say once he had been aware,
But life had hollowed him out, 
Left him a shell, 
Unmoving, 
Unblinking.
The day progressed, the light dimmed, 
It was as if fate and destiny had led him to this moment.
If anyone had cared to look, they may have noticed a glint in his eye.
He liked the sunset.

It was a fair day for an end.

The sun slowly made its way back home.
Heat gradually left, bored with the sun’s absence.
Silence was once more.
The sun closed its eyes. 
The moon began its regime over the obeying night sky.

It was a fair day for sweet nothing.

He still sat there, 
But no one knew.
So was he still alive, 
If no one saw him die?


Details | Free verse | |

Saved My Life

I went back into that dark, dark place 
Were demons dwell 
And 
Lives are taken away
But
Through the pain 
And 
Through the tears 
You were there and kept me near. 
You saved my life by loving me; 
Your silent strength was the key. 
Gentle touches and silent words 
Let me know that love was the cure. 
Depression is my evil curse, 
And 
When it planted the seed of death
Your love washed it away 
And
Gave me the strength
To seek the help I needed to keep it at bay. 
I’ve walked that dark path so many times 
I’ve done lost track, 
But 
Things have change 
And God’s given me a special tool 
To help me through, 
I have you and Joshua too, 
And 
Rooted deeper is the knowledge 
Both of you want me to stay a little longer. 
So like a drug addict that has lost their way
I start the road back to brighter days,
And
There are not enough words to say
I Love You 
In every way 
And 
May God bless us ever day.


Details | Free verse | |

Alive

And we are left here Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk We are the forgotten I am watching the others grow rotten But I am cleansed and raw with glee Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE… I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds My definition of true finds… I smile when any possible hope arrives Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside I am amused of it all…I can’t stop laughing As bitter tears began to fall I HATE ALL OF YOU… I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL… But I love that I can take anything From the nothing we have all been labeled The sick, the low…the mentally unstable Watch me roll up in a ball A naughty tease to death’s lull I love your silence… I love your intense fall And we are more alive than any of you We are crazed by your belligerence Aching to be emotionless SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE SHARE IT… Give us something to be left with So the others can die As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror Listen to her laughter—do you hear her? She watches and waits To find her maggots have grown wings… Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly We are more alive than any of you Though quickly we die


Details | Rhyme | |

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love?

How can we hurt the very ones that we love?
How can we easily neglect our God above?

It seems like I often heard about many victims
Many times, it’s from a loved one who’s been with them!

The hate and the anger that boils from deep within.
Often “boils over” toward our family and friends.

It’s the love of Christ that we need to find!
His love can totally cleanse our life and mind!

The hearts of many families are bruised and broken.
By the harshness of many of the words spoken.

If we would allow Jesus to rule and reign.
We’d have little reason to murmur or complain.

If we would yield our lives to the master’s will…
The emptiness and brokenness, he shall fulfill!

If we could allow ourselves to sit at Jesus’ feet…
He can make any family totally complete!

If we could just listen to what Christ has to say.
His words of life would brighten our day!

As a family…  Won’t you give HIM a chance?
And allow his love to change your circumstance!

Won’t you allow his spirit to bind you together?
You can experience his peace today and forever!

He can change your family throughout!
This is his will and what God is all about!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Caught In The Black Rain

She's caught in the black rain, emotions are swimming in darkness, as the
 acid rain impairs her vision; within the depth her soul she's unable to find goodness.

The falling black rain has her mind in a state of confusion, murder is no longer
 an ill illusion, actions has drawn it's fatal conclusion.

Upon her the black rain fell bringing misery with pain, living life in vain, constantly
 seeing loss with no gain, and her mental health is far from being sane.

Few have already seen the devastating effects of falling black rain, it's aftermath
 makes the sanest go insane, and those who survive the storm their lives will
  never go back to being simple nor plain.

Falling black rain is a storm formed from mental pain, financial strain, loss with
 no gain, and living life in vain.

Though, in my theory of goodness lies this conclusion," Things that we see as 
 being favorable unto living life is nothing more than our ill illusions," and there-
   fore it's causing us an in-depth state of confusion.


Details | Rhyme | |

Have You Been Hurt By Religion

Have You Been Hurt By “Religion”?

Are you tired of “religious people”
 knocking at your door?
You wish they’d leave...  “You can’t take it anymore!”

Have you been hurt by “church people” sometime in the past?
Somehow they hurt you...  And the pain continues to last…

Have you been “wounded” by something
 somebody has said?
Perhaps you wonder if “they wish you were dead…”

Perhaps there’s someone that you 
may have “befriended…”
They have done something that
 has hurt you and “offended.”

There’s probably many people that you wish would “go away.”
Because of something they’ve 
done to “darken your day.”

I’ve been there many times…  Believe me I know.
How someone’s actions or words can hurt your soul.

Even those who go to church are 
often not very kind.
And they don’t hesitate to 
give you “a piece of their mind.”

Religion is not the answer.  Look to Jesus 
and the life he gives!
He alone has the power to love
 and completely forgive!

It’s only in his shed blood that you can find atonement.
He can change your life now!  This very moment!

He can heal your broken heart and wounded spirit.
An everlasting joy and love...  He freely gives it!

He can do what no “church” or “religion” could ever do
He can restore your life today.  
And make you BRAND NEW!!!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

emo for no emotions? or for emotions?

The emotions that i feel inside
are like nothing that i've had when i'm alive
Most of the time i hide myself in darkness
and I feel as if i drown in coldness

The days surpass me like never before
with joy and happiness knocking at my door

I ignore them and go on 
i go on as if there's nothing wrong
I am in the dark with no sense of feeling
trying to not lie to those around me

They ask if they can help in any way
I say that i am fine
When actually i have millions of things inside my mind

They say emotions are just things people feel
when actully it can also be actions

Teens cut themselves and claim they are emos
when they really have more friends than foes
Can emo be for emotional for those who can't understand
what they hold dear to them everyday "hand-in-hand"?

Times can be rough
but that doesn't mean that you can act all tough

What does emo mean to you?
can you not see those who love you and me?
No emotions or emotions,
you can't pick both,
you see?

Don't try to be who yu want to be 
just be yourself
And that applies to you and me


Details | I do not know? | |

Drunken Loneliness


   




Details | I do not know? | |

In This Dark Corner

In this dark corner
Of this dark room,
I sit in the shadows,
I sit in the doom.
I see a light,
A light right ove there,
I cannot reach it.
No longer its there.
In this large group,
Of people I love,
I feel so alone,
Like everyones above.
This isnt a choice,
Of choices its not.
To be sad and depressed
I just think a whole lot.
Through my mind runs some thoughts,
Thoughts of rough times,
The times times of great hurt,
The times of great crimes.
Crimes done unto me
Seems jail would be fitting.
"Oh stop being sad,
Your overreacting."
Though stopping I cant,
Its not my control.
I guess I can try.
Cause its getting old.
If your life is bad,
Well, heck, so is mine.
If yours is so bad 
Keep down, dont shine.
I'm scared for us all.
For the world that is.
We are all dead,
Only a few people live.
No one can change.
Not even me.
Cause lifes filled with misery,
hurt, death, not glee.
Listen up now,
I have something to say.
If this all is ending,
Its ending today.
In this dark corner,
Of this dark room,
I sit in the shadows,
I sit in the doom.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Unsettled

My eyes grow heavy,
Yet I can't sleep,
My soul feels weighted,
But I can't weep

I dream on
Without the hope I need
I need to talk
Yet my tongue's not freed

I clutch my pillow,
I cling to the thought
Of how we met,
And why we fought

It all seems so silly now,
And I wonder why
We could let this stand
And let love die

Pure "saving face"
Holds me back,
Especially since
Your verbal attack

Being a person,
No easy thing,
You've left your nest
And the protection of
Your mother's wing

Should i call?
Or hold out?
Be the weak one?
Or stand and shout?

Oh, Lord, please guide me
Let me know
The way to be...

I roll over in bed again,
And turn on the light,
But light doesn't help.
I have no sight...

Indecision means inaction
I start to groan,
To lose your love,
A fear greatly grown

Turn off the light,
Again to bed
In many ways,
Wishing I was dead.


Details | Rhyme | |

Just a Thought

Always around 
slightly small mostly black
think of my kids 
that's what holds me back
cracks in my heart 
such a delicate shell
tears fill my eyes 
my eyes start to swell
try to be a new me 
no drugs no liquor
now my eyes open wide 
more reasons to pull the trigger
thought it was real 
did you mean what you said
starting to see the truth 
make the target my head
holding back so much pain 
but still some leaks out
no one to talk to 
feel better with cold metal in my mouth
no peace in my soul
it will not rest
another thought comes to mind
aim straight for my chest
even then I cry
thinking of taking a last breath
seriously thinking without me
would the children be best
feeling like a criminal
I've committed no theft
here is a person that's broken
I have nothing left
I'll walk away now 
before I do something stupid
stop leaving it around
one day I might use it
no, no.... I can't
gotta remember my babies
this is a silent prayer I'm tormented
God please save me


Details | Rhyme | |

Take Me Away

I dream in darkness.
I sleep to die.
Erase my sorrow.
Erase my lies.
Our burning ashes,
Blacken the day.
A world of nothingness.
Take me away.


Details | Bio | |

I Close My Eyes

I close my eyes
And back home I am
Looking out those
Century old windows
My inner tears
Would burst a dam

I remember every crack 
In those walls,
Every floor board
Prone to creak
But the happiness
I had there,
Is something I can
now but seek...

Home of fifty years
Saw my tears and my joy
From infancy to adulthood
And the blessed life I'd had there
Since I was but a boy

A place where several
Family members had died
In the old fashioned way
And all those tears I cried...

Not in some remote hospital,
But where they wanted to be
And I'd suely love to die there,
If it was up to me..

But, it was my destiny
To come here, 
In this desolate place
Certainly I'm not that happy
But it's something I must face

I made a mistake,
I should have died there
Where I had lived so happily
And now, I barely care,
What becomes of me
My life is over
Save but a bit of love,
Still directed at me
And each day I wonder,
What do these people see in me?


Details | Free verse | |

Die alone and born again

The man with the plastic bug in his head
monopolized my dreams last night
in the place that the horsefly of my dignity
finally surrender to the impresario without a fight.

Seven days and 7 hours transplanted in my memorabilia
reminding the rustiness of the purple child
flatterers danced beneath the clouds of melancholy
and morality spreader the master plan inside my mind.

The disinheritance of my immortality the final day
discouraged my desire to see the forbidden love
restored my will to escape
manipulated the deep of the uncertainty above.

Released from the plastic bug in my head
try to cover my yellow child in the purple sky
laughing,singing,whispering,playing
seven days and seven hours before he dies.


Details | Blank verse | |

Alien

When the earth crumbles Into something foreign and Suffocates me—dead Like a spider in the water, I realise what has been bothering me all along: It is my own mortality A distant song A bad fatality A cool, unopened telephone A modern dial What’s the use in trying To make life what it will never be A pleasure is not what life is about Because around you people are dying And there’s no time for crying So what is there to do When the earth crumbles Into something foreign and Suffocates me so that I’m foreign, too And everyone around me is foreign—dead —Alive—wishing to be dead—wishing to be alive- Wanting to give What we don’t have to give, Like a man inclined to drink himself to death On an evening like every other evening On a night like every other night - I take the shining bullet That my father left behind Because what use is there to live In an alien world where everyone is alien to everyone And wishing to break free, not to be alien Not to be sinners but to regain redemption We’re all so sorry for what we have done When the earth crumbles Into something foreign And suffocates me again so that I am dead And the bullet that has often shined doesn’t seem to shine so much any more, I will escape all that is alien by shooting myself in the brain And hope that death is not alien When I have always suspected that death is the same


Details | Elegy | |

Moon Walk on Your Grave

Moon Walk on Your Grave

A life begun in stardom,
now, ending up in shame.
Relentless media, cruel world,
who then is there to blame.

A sadness inside,
no tears on your face.
The pain all but over,
mass confusion erase.

In wonder we watch,
can a life be explained?
Can't surface your agony,
under facade you remained.

Let's focus on the talent,
musical joy that you gave.
In peace now I pray,
moon walk on your grave.

© Rene' Brady 2009


Details | Narrative | |

Shut Your Dirty Mouth

Tonight I thought I shook off a roach. Swore I felt it approach. Imagined it crawling down
my throat. My Dad came out from the den and asked What’s Wrong? I said, Nothing, I’m fine
when I still felt bits of dead roach nesting in my spine. That’s Divine.

I feel the Holy Spirit in me tonight. Jesus Christ! I must have done right! Don’t come
near me, I’m contaminated, clearly. Oh, God, need me! So that the sky doesn’t turn black
every time I look up to seek your advice. My chips are stacked, I’ve got them wracked.
Roll the dice six six six every time. On my Dime. I think I may have crossed the line.
Maybe I’m sick. Maybe I’m not hip to this.

Maybe I just need to settle down. Take a breath. Take a pill. Sit real still. Stare until
I become comatose blare my music so loud that my eyes become brazen and I can’t hear what
you’re saying.

Do roaches bite? I wonder at night. As I hide beneath the covers that used to shield us
from one another. Protect us from the evils in this world, bring no harm to little girls.
Now they just cover up old condoms and dirty food crumbs.

Numb. Numb. Numb. Can’t move. Limbs feel numb, limbs feel wrung, limbs feel slung,
stammering and slurring like grandma after her stroke.

This is a joke. The world’s a joke. We’re a joke.

Then why aren’t we laughing? Why aren’t we guffawing until our paws fall off, our mittens
become smitten and we cough up our dirty lungs with joy.

Oh boy, here I go again. If this is a joke why aren’t we laughing? Why aren’t we guffawing
until our paws fall off, our mittens become smitten and we cough up our dirty lungs with joy.


Details | Free verse | |

Why do I bother ?

                             Why do I bother waking up
                            when everydays the same 
                              life has no purpose
                             while we are estranged
                              
                            Why do I bother going to sleep 
                            when all I have is nightmares
                                 
                             Why do I bother breathing 
                        when  I just end up gasping for air
                       
                              Why do I bother eating
                               when all I want is you
                              
                               Why do I bother bathing
                             When everything feels so dirty
                                   
                         Why do I bother talking
                       when I just feel like screaming

                              Why do I bother living 
                             When i feel like im dying
                              

                                By,Jessica Bowie
                        


Details | ABC | |

GoodBye

                               GOODBYE

I miss the way you hugged me when I cried and how you told me how you loved me 
every night but now you won't even look at me and you don't even talk to me 
anymore and when I'm upset you just laugh and walk away........... All I want to 
know is what did I do that was so bad that you treat me like a punching bag........ I 
miss the way you kissed me but I guess you've moved on and I try boy do I try but 
your all I dream about all I think about is you, you were my world and now your 
gone I'm so lost without you I cry every night because someone will say your 
name....... What I miss most of all is that I could tell you anything but now you won't 
even listen.............. What kills me is you saying goodbye for good goodbye god 
those words kill me every time good bye good bye good bye....


Details | Lyric | |

Buried Myself Alive

can you remember the time i let you in?
the time i showed you my heart?
the time i shared my soul with you?
the moment i poured out my blood when you needed it?
The second i saved your life?
The hour i saved you from your darkest secret?
The minute where you watched me bury myself alive?
Remember the time when you almost made me cry?
the time i made it a game to play your game?
the day i had my own time and took advantage of myself?
the hour it took to shut you out and let you go away for a long time?
well your going to have to ask nicer than that 


Details | I do not know? | |

My Dad

It never quits
My dad's h i t s
I see myself in the mirror
And I am to become
But I just go numb
It hurts to see
What all he has done to me
It never fails
When he hears me wail
It never quits
My dad's h i t s


Details | Shape | |

Layers Of The Ocean

.      .     I   .    .      .      .        .       I      .     .     .     .     .    G    .           .              .
          P    N                                M    L                             U    H
       P          E                          S         E                         A         T
   A                S                    .                S                   L               E                  .
H                      S             .                        .            .                      R            .
                             .     .                                .    .                              .    .

..................................A surfaced "Happily Ever After"...........................................

      
RESENTMENT.          .            .      DENIAL     .          .        .      REGRET       .         .

.......................................Forgave, but wont forget...............................................


PRETENDING .            .           .  LOST HOPE .        .        .        .   LIES .        .        .     

.......................................Crying as my heart prys.................................................


PAIN    .        .         .       .        .    HURT     .      .          .         BURNING        .            

.......................................A lifetime of yearning........................................................

SCREAMING  .        .          .       DECIEVING     .        .          .  BLEEDING        .          

.........................................Forever dissapearing ......................................................

.            .        .      D r a g g e d    U n d e r   T h e   T i d e          .           .          .           

..............................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................................
                                                                   
 S . L . O . W . L . Y 
   
D
  R                        .                            .                     .                     .                    .
    O
      W
         N 
            I                 .                           .                          .                          .
              N
                 G


Details | I do not know? | |

Pain and Loneliness

 Loneliness and pain creates a void
 Dark shadows haunt, torment and torture
 only reflective thoughts of happiness
 
 Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul
 It is futile to hope and dream

 Emptiness is overwhelming
 A deepening sea of nowhere consumes
 And eats away at every connecting thread

 Nothing considered worthy remains
 Destined to walk through life less ordinary
 Alone, exiled, different and disdained.


Details | Rhyme | |

For Laura

For Laura

She suffered in silence from the years of abuse
If not for the violence she felt of no use
She denied that her soul was addicted to pain
Inside she felt cold so her blue eyes would rain
She had beautiful dreams somewhere in her youth
Of being a queen then she discovered the truth
That love can go wrong if left up to a man
It will not be strong if it’s not part of God’s plan
Hope painted a picture with colors of laughter
Of missus and mister happily ever after
When he used to kiss her it encouraged her faith
The times he would hit her she didn’t feel safe
Through all the trouble she had time to conceive
Despite the struggle she just couldn’t leave
She knew in her heart things would only get worse
She accepted the dark blaming God for the curse
If not for her kids she’d give it all back
Thinking time won’t forgive what’s been done in the past
I wish I knew her before she was broken by man
To give these words to her so she’d understand
That a woman’s heart has one unique chance
She must use all her smarts when choosing a man
Not all of us can wear shiny armor
Some men you can’t trust they’d only harm her
But not to give up time can be a friend
You may have the Lord’s luck the next corner you bend
There is time for love you are still that queen
Ask the Father above and you’ll see what I mean
The beauty with in you will never fade
God has always been with you; He’s never delayed
I must remind you; you are His greatest gift
Don’t look behind and the pain won’t exist


Details | Haiku | |

Fragments

in - pie - ces why must you be in fragments? take me pl— ease me in- to the pangs of oppression let me ROT in fragments i trust you'll be whole again while I break


Details | Free verse | |

Ideas Trapped In An Inactive Mind

Ideas Trapped By An Inactive Mind

Your mind is hidden in darkness
Thoughts trapped in deep crevasses
Their screams echoes through deathly shadows
Attacked and strangled at their every move
The struggle against invisible shackles
Drawing blood as they fight their captor
Demons search for ideas ripping them apart
Stripped skin strewn across an evil world
A world created from depression and mania
Leaving the ideas disemboweled in the frenzied heat
Blood, skin and guts boil under the demon’s breath
Screams of torture and pain fill the void left by random thoughts
Still alive they choke on the stale sulfuric air
Waiting to die while hoping to be saved
A quick mind lights the darkness
Giving new life to near dead ideas
The strongest fight while the weakest wither and die
The rise through the darkness
Rising into the light they look back
They see the lost ideas dying beneath them
They care about what was lost
What ideas will never see the light of day
And they grieve as they come to light
And they will be told and retold
For that is what ideas are meant to be
Shared by the entire world not killed 
Murdered by an inactive mind


Details | Free verse | |

Backfire

What’s the use of trying any longer?
Nothing comes out the way I want it to flow
Words perpetrate my every being
And I strain to get my temperament to slow
But my cognizance is reeling in a panic of waves
The voltage of emotion is overwhelming me
What is this journey impending to?
What is my purpose?
To obliterate or build?
I keep assurances only to splinter and shatter them
I melt into their regrets and apologies without looking back
Then I am slapped right back in the face
With my own waves of shame and qualm
I wish I was like you
I wish I could put a guise on and never show my face
I wish I could take a dagger and extinguish the sorrow
Destroy tomorrow
But it keeps coming back with twinges and pains!
I want to scream my way into your existence
I want to end all the overwrought thoughtlessness
I want to be lifted in your ease
To be beautiful and clever like you
The demon is me and I am foaming with misery
My horns are melting by your pertinacious confrontations
I can’t reply to the desolation of nothingness
I can’t make it all go away
I’m trapped! RELIEVE ME!
Cursed adrenaline rushes about me
My body is prickling and waterlogged in blackness
I swallow the poisons of my backwash
And back-fire every stab in the back


Details | Narrative | |

Depression has taken over me

Hurting inside feel like I am about to cry Like anyone cares that I am dyeing inside I feel 
like I could disappear into thin air and no one would that I wasn't there I could leave 
tomorrow and see that none would know  that I was even there they would cease to care 
Life is about living for today not tomorrow  but no one told me  that it would be filled with 
so much sorrow I feel like giving up and calling it quits because there is nothing  here in 
this world I'm in well I said my piece I said it all now I feel like crawling up into  a tiny little 
ball well that's it that's a wrap it's the end of the show oh wait it's not a show it's my life  
well go on think what you want to think but I lost my Hope and Faith and it's not a 
mistake it's the story of truth being told I am hurting inside that's no lie because now I 
have just died a little more inside


Details | Rhyme | |

Elixir of My Soul

Did you know I loved you before we met?
Drowning within your beautiful eyes,
Do you now feel the painful regret?

Did you vow to love me, and just only me?
Draped within a veil of pure bliss,
Diving below the depths of impurity.

Did you softly whisper, that I was the one?
Drinking the elixir of my innocence,
Downing till there was all but none.

Did you believe we would be here forever?
Distance keeping us miles apart,
Doubting we see each other ever.

Did you think of me lately, and miss me?
Dreaming of the two of us together,
Doused with love in an emotional sea.

Did you always wish misery, forever?
Darkness as your guardian in life,
Dragging us to hell, on this evil endeavor.

Did you wish I meant more, and ask why?
Dusting yourself entirely free of us,
Desolation forever, as you wave goodbye.

For the last time……….


Details | Rhyme | |

Gel-Pen

False cheer shines through the glittery red ink,
Letter after colourful letter,
Hopes and dreams are drained down the sink,
Letter after colourful letter...

Dead inside is this empty life of lies,
Letter after colourful letter,
Woods are filled with broken cries
Letter after colourful letter...

'Tomorrow' will never come, hope will never shine,
Letter after colourful letter,
I will never be fine-
Letter after colourful letter...

A flutter of hope, sputters and dies
Letter after colourful letter.
The smiles of the gel-pen always lies
Letter after colourful letter.


Details | Ballad | |

The girl

See the girl living on the streets? does anyone know she is there,
Do you see that girl down in the dumps? and does anyone care.
We don't know the reason that she left her home and do any of us want to know?
She's out in all weathers without any covers in rain, hail and snow.
Does anyone wonder if she's ever lonely when we're all tucked up in our beds,
when she's wet and cold,  and we're warm and cosy does it ever enter our heads.
She might have been beaten when her home she left, she's sad and she's lonely and often bereft. 


Does anyone see me alone on the streets? trying to smile at all that I meet,
asking for pennies for a warm cup of tea, we're not all on drugs, at least not me.
I'm trying to avoid going down that road I try to remember the things I've been told.
Stories of people lying in the gutter, and people passing by all of a mutter.
Do they care, what they see there? I suppose they think it's everywhere !
But I would like to say to all of you . I don't take drugs, I'm one of the few.
So to all of you sat home by your fires, spare a thought for me,
when you pass me by tomorrow, I'd love a cup of tea.


Details | Rhyme | |

Writing With A Pin

Writing with a pin,
I know it is wrong.
Writing with a pin,
Blood is being drawn.

Writing with a pin,
My skin's burning and searing.
Writing with a pin,
It's wrong, but it has a satisfying feeling.


Details | I do not know? | |

princess in a tower

far far away 
lives a girl with nothing left to 
say

tears tumble down her pale 
white cheeks
but they're  are all getting used 
to it
because she has been crying 
for weeks

she only wanted one thing
it was a small diamond ring

the ring was to set on her 
finger 
and by her side
 a man to linger

her world soon proved
it wasnt so great 
for they cast away 
her one and only true soul 
mate

their love was one that would 
last
for forever
but now because of them
it would last for never

oh the pain!
 how it never changes
but stays the same
 
she feels so lost
 in a world so framiliar  
she turns round and round
on this cold life less land

she wants to scream 
and she wants to shout
 but she she is haunted by that 
shadow of dout 

so she cries
and slowly kisses old happy 
dreams 
goodbye


Details | Free verse | |

Crying Red Tears

I hold it in
falling apart inside
close my door
walk up the familiar stairs
reach for my only friend
no questions asked
not a doubt in my mind
i tug at my wrist
let my arms Cry Red Tears 
full of pain desire hate
tape up the emotions
put away the fears
so i can hold it in 
and let my arms Cry Red Tears...


Details | Free verse | |

Without Me

Everything falls to pieces,
as the reality of my worthless existence
dawns on me.
So I crawl;
to that empty space
I call my mind.
To hide from the world
that wishes to
prick,
prattle,
and probe
until there is nothing left.
Except for me,
and my insecurities.
A endless assemblage
of dreams and regrets,
that have led me
to believe - 
THERE IS nothing left.
So as the last tear flows
I only hope,
tomorrow will be
a little less bleak,
Without Me.


Details | ABC | |

A Yearn for a Smile 9-21-11

	A yearn… simply something that you want or long for. As a yearn to finish, a yearn to achieve, a yearn for a like, a yearn for a smile is something that you drastically want, a desire. Something that you spend long hours, nights even day dreaming hours thinking about how you can earn that smile. What can you do…. or what can you say … things such as a conversation sparks, likes even dislikes, mostly anything that will crack a smile. These are things that truly show signs of something far greater than fame, sex, money, power. What is it? Something more than I have yet to find. So as I search for the answer I over shoot the entrance with rapid thinking of what she wants, her likes, her dislikes. But truly it will only be earned by who you are, what you want to be, yourself, your feelings your desires, your yearn. So when you yearn for that smile or that special something it can only be earned by being you, no one else. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and try to see past the makeup or tan or piercing and just look at yourself… then take that image and imprint it to yourself forever because to find happiness and your yearn  can only be earned one way. Trying to watch her and she how she reacts to certain things just to make myself seem better when I finally open my mouth to her will only make you distant from that special someone.  With me I personally see myself as buff pierced orange person, while trying to continue to follow the people who I look up to the most. So as you struggle and go through life’s trials and tribulations always look at your yearn or what it once it what was. Think about how you felt when you failed or succeeded and try to make yourself a better person from it. Not by adding more glamour or appeal to yourself but by being closer to yourself. What you really are. Because only then can you truly say you earned your yearn of a smile or that special someone, even if there not with you, apart of them will be and that’s the part they left. The part that made you better. More complete. 			So never forget your yearn of her..


Details | Lyric | |

Gotta Let Their Soul Cry

 Raped and Molestated in childhood, 
   Abused and Misused in pre-adulthood,
     Alone and confused they stood; feeling
       like tainted goods.

 Let their soul cry, maybe then; they can
  regain their pride. 

 They gotta let their soul cry

 Their darkest secret's they lock  away
   within, this is why their flesh constantly
    feast off sin; and everything in life has a
     beginning, but never render an ending.

 Let their soul cry, Crying is the only way to
  gain their piece of mind.
   
One might ask," Why"? Then , I will reply,"
  They need to see at least one day filled with
     promise rather than pain and see the sun
        without having rain.
     
 They gotta let their soul cry, before their sin
  cause their flesh to die.


Details | Blank verse | |

Blood and Bullets

Inspired by the Connecticut tragedy and another minor shooting that happened in my home state
-------------------------------------

Blood and Bullets

That night we cried ourselves to sleep
For each of the little children the blood did weep
Serve upon this misery and damage
No words will excuse the savage

The vultures swoop, spread the sugar coated lies
But still the frozen child dies
Yet they still wish to remove what little safety we have
But they fail to see that will not stop the slings and arrows they have

For the media projects the fame they crave
Like wild dingos they consume what we fail to save
Serve and protect is not the duty of just some but all as a whole
ALL AS A WHOLE

And we fail
And we fail

The cameras prance around like costumed horses in a dance
All the while the mud splattered reality burns and singes the lines of damned fantasies
We are to blame, shining glitter and fame on the damned souls that should be burned
We spit acidic words of hate all the while praising them in glittering spectral lights of fame 
They do not heed the angry words, but revel in the talk of them...them..
Them...

It's

All

About

THE KILLER

Blood and bullets pollute the spoiled ground but no one cares for the rotten
Sadness rings through for a week but soon the victims are forgotten
But no one forgets the criminal...Infamous
He is immortalized by the fame...fame...infamous

Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets

Blood stains
Bullets jump

dead forgotten
left rotten

Monster remembered

remembered

Blood and bullets

Blood

and bullets


Details | Couplet | |

I'm Sorry Part 1

I'm sorry that I'm always sad, 
That I do things to make you mad.

I'm sorry that I've lost my hope,
I'm sorry for the ways I cope.

I'm sorry that I bring you down,
I'm sorry that I make you frown.

I swear to God that you must believe,
I love you more than you can see.

I'm sorry that my heart is dying,
I swear to you that I've been trying.

I'm sorry that I cannot see,
much future left in front of me.

I'm sorry that I'm so depressed,
I realy know that I'm a mess.

Writing this note's made me see,
Just how much hurt I've made you grieve.

I'm so disgusted with myself,
I'm so damn bad for your good health.

I know that It's hard to admit,
I've made this such a long hard trip.

I feel like I have ruined your heart,
Like I have torn you all apart.

I have a question for you dear,
And, yes, your answere I do fear.

You said that you missed her big picture,
When you saw, you changed your fixture.

For your sake, love, please look at mine,
Before your heart's put on the line.

I'm sorry that I'm so impatient,
I'm just afraid life's not worth waiting.

I really don't want you to leave,
I want for us to both believe.

I want to once again find hope,
But it will be hard on my own.

But then again if I'm too much,
I don't want to kill all your love.


Details | Couplet | |

I'm Sorry Part 2

I'm sorry for the ways I fight,
I'm sorry that I dim your light.

I'm sorry I'm so negative,
That I am so competative.

I'm sorry that I'm so outrageous,
I'm sorry my hurt's so contagious.

I don't want to see your heart eache,
Cuz when I do my heart it breaks.

I'm sorry that I'm not so strong,
But you inspire my hearts song.

I'm not alone cuz now I see,
Your light that's shining just for me.

I'm sorry that I'm up and down,
But, Dear, You win the patience crown.

My love for you's so strong, please see,
A fire burns for you in in me.

I know that It's hard to believe,
But God will help us, just you see.


Details | Elegy | |

Death of a Love One

I had a wonderful day, what could have went wrong
Went to sleep feeling like a brand new man
Laying in bed, sleeping so peacefully
Two guys walked in unexpectedly
They said wake up, no hesitation
Ten bullets in my back, no explanation
Was this a dream I’m gonna wake up from
No its not, I’m a completely dead man
Why me?  Answer my question
I had a family and other love ones.
Now I’m gone, but memory lives on
How about you where do you stand?


Details | Rhyme | |

UNIFORM TANGLE

So I see how cruel life may be in a minute,
All around people’s faces gleam & glare
At my gloomy face but never see my net.
And I cry and cry and cry to get ‘em fair.

From times past, I knew of what may be
The finale of this sweet short time gained;
But now it comes with great dismay, to me.
With thoughts of melancholy stained.

Am losing my job to my brother,
I teach him my work as a father
Does to his sons and to the other,
He knows not my hearts as they gather.

They give a life, a life they can’t retain,
They offer me a choice, a choice not mine;
They lead me to the grave, to bury me and the ten;
But they in turn smile and smile as they dine

And so I see that they are not to be
The people I perceive may little see,
My serene into whirlwind occur to me
At a peek and glaze and short see.

Whatever the Asian will decide,
However I cope with them all,
I implore all the good to side
With me as evil entirely will fall.


Details | Rhyme | |

Learned my lesson

Deep down in my heart,
I had seen from the start,
That you were bad for me but...
I could not resist your symphony.
Everything happend for a  reason.
But now it is time to start a new season.
From spring to summer to fall to winter.
i can not wait to earn that new splinter
Of hate,regret and depression
Now that i have learned my lesson
It is not time for him to move on to a different person.


Details | I do not know? | |

Today Is Terrible----

The cracked spine of
the book I dropped
at the call.
A chip in my
windshield left by a
pompous *?#@! in a
red sports car as I
drive to the
service.
Rain expectorating
from an ashen sky as
the dirt is turned.
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
crack in grandma’s
spine from her fall
down the stairs.
The chip in her
amazingly smart mind
after eighteen years
as a teacher.
Tears running,
dripping from my
Mothers ashen face
as she cries “My
mama’s dead.”
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
cracked family
emotions left raw
and empty.
The chip in Grandpas
numb mind at the
gathering… “Where is
Irene she should be
here?”
Faces gone ashen
with dread, do we
leave him numb or
remind him that his
wife is dead?
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
empty silences,
missing the jokes
Grandma used to
crack.
Grandma’s laugh and
her endless smile
which always exposed
that tooth with the
chip in it.
Without her the
world has become
empty, bleak, and
ashen.
Today is terrible.

                   
                   
                   
          Summer
Gratias


Details | Free verse | |

L. I. F. E. (Living In Fear Everywhere)

L iving 
I n
F ear
E verywhere

Just as we live and just as we die 
We laugh, kill and crucify
We are no more our brothers than we are ourselves 
We are the players 
With the tools and talent of the efficient demise 
Of war, famine and greed 
We do rise
 
Of the ever constant ricochet of freedom in our ears
As we wrap our fallen dead in a shroud of rights, laws and bills 
And continue to improve the technology, the precision 
The assurance of absolute destruction 

Buying death is easy
Dealing is easier 
Survival 
The career choice of many 
A thriving business with prestige and power 
Taking, wanting, hungry for the rush 
So young, so fragile 
Blood is running in the streets 
A seemingly endless fountain of misguided youth 
Falling, one after the other 
So far from the truth 

S  hocked 
A  ngry
D  epressed 

What good has ever come from a gun ?
Why kill ?
Why are we arming our children ?
Our future ?
Are you blind to the fact ?
Do you not hear the sound ?
Do you not see ? 
Do you not care ?
We are killing ourselves 
Stealing each others dreams 
Each others families 
Why pro-create ?
To produce, raise, and nurture more disposable targets ?
Is there another use for guns ? 
1 + 1 = 0
One bullet + one individual = one less reason to care 
We are waging war upon our brothers for money, love and survival 

G  ive 
U  s
N  o
S  anity

All to easy....................
Living In Fear Everywhere 


Eric (and sometimes not)


Details | Free verse | |

City of Shadows

A lonesome boat in the harbor rocks insanity.
Big waves of the black sea roll across the white sands
that fade into darkness for eternity.
Far from the life giving drops of rain are predators
in the city of shadows.
Feelings from the last solem breezes blow.
As the evening sun fades slowly into the night,
the pavement glistens like cracked glass
from the earlier evening rain.
A lack of silence remains.
In the city of shadows,
screaming voices creep in the corner of your mind.
Visions of the garden where the flowers died.
The dark alley reveals the emptiness of peace within your soul,
and death reveals the cold, cold truth way beneath the black crumbled earth.
Slapped with a strike of lightning,
disrupting the fall of silence where secrets crawl to hide,
in the foxholes of one's mind.
In the city of shadows, bewildered minds tick with the time of the clock.
Breath by breath falls perfectly out of place,
and darkness opens a new gate.
Tunes of the violin slowly fade away.
A new awakening to blindness,
in the city of shadows.


Details | Free verse | |

Overprotected Heart

Overprotected Heart

A broken heart
Pieces kept together by razor wire
Such pain
Wounds from the last moment I saw you
Did you know that your words had such power?
Did you know that my heart would fall apart?
No silk threads would seal the chasms
It frayed and tore with every word
Not a drop of blood was spilt
There was none left after your attack
The sharpness of the razor wire
Its shiny points wrapped around my heart
Stabbing into the gentle muscle
Drops of blood on the tip of every blade
They reminds me of your words
The hurt you caused
It stops others from getting in
Not giving them the chance to do what you did
My heart is protected from hurt
From you and your meanness
Protected from love and happiness
All because of you


Details | Free verse | |

Lost, Without Hope

Everywhere I look, all I see is nothing A vast space full of water, the current pulling me out to nowhere Kicking and screaming I’m trying to stay above the wild waves But the crash and smash against me, the water filling my lungs I cannot breathe and I cannot float much longer I want so desperately to have something to cling to But yet I am alone in this fight, to keep my mind above To keep myself from sinking to the depths of depression A dark, endless pit that I will not be able to escape The burning anger above me And sweltering sadness beneath me Challenge me in my everyday To try and hold on to the thin lines of reality The lines that are blurring before my very eyes I do not know how much longer I can keep I want it all to end…but I do not want to end it all I am so tired…so very tired But sleep dances away from me, Like a young child on a play ground, sleep runs and hides The giggles of him I can hear, here and there But I cannot reach him He his beyond my capacities, beyond my boundaries And I’m losing this fight to stay above the water I feel like I’m drowning ‘ISN’T ANYONE THERE’ I cry And I weep, but honestly I really don’t know why Why I feel so trapped in this grey world With no escape and no reverence I am lost in the wild furls of my psychotic mind Where no one can find me, no one can help me…save me Alone and drowning I try to grasp onto the thin wisp of hope But it is false and was gone before it ever appeared I am lost, with nothing but the water and fire The darkness, and terror I have nothing to hold onto Yet I keep fighting, I keep fighting this losing battle But I do not know how much longer I will last


Details | Rhyme | |

" The Life Of Me " page 1 of 2

My name is James, born 1961
In Inverness, a small Scots town
To my father Andrew, and my mother Beryl
And Billy my brother, a pair of devils
 
In 67, we woke one night
Our house was ablaze, full of orange light
Our neighbour next door, for whatever reason
Started a fire, it must be crazy season
 
We had too move to a caravan park
By this time it,s three, to make a new start
My mother Beryl decide to leave
But the three of us left, never bothered to grieve
 
In the next few weeks, we ended in court
Two small children, in a marriage abort
We were asked to choose either Dad or Mum
But we ignored the parent, who went on the run
 
As we left the court, to start a new life
We felt sorry for Dad, as his illness was rife
He never told us that he was unwell
It would upset one of his boys, as the future will tell
 
Then came the night all parents dread;
Being told one of his boys is nearly dead
We were going to a boys club, on a Monday night
My brother was running so far out of sight
 
I turned the corner to see him ahead
No!! he's been hit by a van, Boom's  Boom's dead
I ran to my father, sreaming and crying
I'm finding my life,at 7 - far too trying
 
After the funeral, and with my father unwell
We left Inverness, our eyes a swell
To go as two, and not three as before
It's like Mother Nature closed a door
 
So we headed west, to a place called Fort William
Was it in the stars, cause Billy " is " William
We moved there, as the air was so pure
Hoping my father will find his cure
 
For whatever reason, we left the above
We found no Angel or peaceful dove
So we headed back to Inverness
Fathers health decreasing, life still a stress
 
Over the next few years, i was fostered and loaned
In couples houses and children's homes
It was really strange in all those places
Different people, different faces

Then on the 16th of Feb - 76,
James, i was told, your dads very sick.
The cancer had taken your father away
To be with Billy, where you'll join them one day

In 77, i joined the Navy, as i promised my dad you see. 
I did'nt enjoy it, i decided to leave 
Back up north, where my futures to be 
I wanted to have, what my parents had lost 
And that was my aim, no matter the cost

see page 2 of 2, ty..


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php


Details | Haiku | |

Abrupt

Sleeping in sorrow
If I don't wake tomorrow
Then all will be well.


Details | Free verse | |

Did you not Notice?

Did you not notice I was slippin,
                       cause you didnt catch my fall.
                        Did you not notice I had fallin 
                             cause you didnt help me up...
                                 so I stayed there for awhile.
                                 Did you not notice I was drowning,
                                   cause you didnt offer me your hand....
                                 so I sank to the bottom.
                               Did you not notice  I was dying,
                             cause you didnt try to revive me.
                            Did you not notice I was Dead,
                         Cause you werent at my Funeral.
                       Did you not notice I was in Hell,
                    When i would haunt you with my soul caught on fire...
                                   and you didnt put out the flames.
                           ... And im just Wondering how did you not notice?
                                                

                        By.Jessica Bowie


Details | I do not know? | |

Sometimes

Sometimes a hug is needed
To dry up someone’s tears
Sometimes a hug is needed
To calm a person’s fears

Sometimes a calming touch is needed
From a friend or stranger too
Sometimes the hardest words to hear
Are the ones “I love you”

Sometimes your path gets dark and drear
And your days pass by in no hurry
Nobody is around to comfort you
All is left to do is worry

The best of days can be forgotten
When the tears come falling down
All you can think of is grief of the past
All that will fit is a frown…

Will some one please just give me a hug
And tell me they love me so?
This is one time that sometime is needed
Just hug me and let your love show!?


Details | I do not know? | |

Whispers

I once heard a saying,
that the happiest people are the saddest
Shining because they’ve seen the darkest
Like the lotus that grows out of mud
Or the rotting stump that bears a bud..

You never know what troubles the mind
So be careful with words unkind
The glowing person just beside you
Could be a crumbling ruin behind the hairdo
 Most people struggle everyday
Souls burdened with decay..

I guess it takes a lot of courage
To act normal with that damage
Hard to believe that under the surface
Lives a soul with no purpose
A cry for help won’t be any crisper
Listen to the their inner whisper..


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 1 of 2

Around that table, picture the scene
Self appointed leaders if you know what I mean
What were the topics on the Agenda that day
The Jewish race is about to pay

Who gave the right for this decision that's made
Who has the right to cleanse and degrade
To decide who lived, to decide who dies
Another chapter, I still wonder why

They came in the day they came in the night
Women and children pulled out of sight
Herded aboard like cattle and sheep
Many a family awoke from their sleep

Dazed and confused as they are taken away
Where will they be at the end of the day
From their warm houses and their warm beds
What must be going through their heads

As they travel through days and through the night
Up ahead, they see lots of lights
They depart the trucks and board the train
Their faces scared under the strain

Asking questions from family and others
Generations, sisters and brothers
Why are we here, where are we going
Windowless carriages with no way of knowing

We come to a stop, soldiers aplenty
Towers and wire, topped with sentries
What can this place be they have taken us to
As we head to large gates as they shuffle us through

Families separated, herded in file
Women and children, not one did smile
Taken to rooms where our heads were shaved
Is this the way humans behaved

Clothes discarded, as we enter the shower
No signs of water no signs of power
Doors slammed as we are all crammed in
History will recall this evil of sins

As we stand in the dark, chanting Jewish faith
Can hear the voices can't see the face
Noises above, do the showers start
The event has begun that tells us Humans apart

Questions and sighs, as walled vents show daylight
Some thing is falling then their slammed tight
A strange aroma starts to fill the air
As all around are screams of despair

Twenty minutes have passed and the quietness is rife
Two thousand people, two thousand lives
Pellets called HCN, or Hydrogen Cyanide
Contribute to this Genocide


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | Blank verse | |

A SIP TO SLIP

   ~            ~                   ~                   ~                  ~
It was as if her world was spinning,
She tried to get hold of herself,
As she fell into  a nearby couch,
She slips into the past in anguish;
~She smiles as He caresses her hand,
They met in high school on beach sand,
And since then,They`ve been good lovers,
Good memories flow in like spring,
Theirs was ordained with a circled ring,
Until that car crash ,that brought  great pain,
Johnny`s life was cut short abruptly,
~She woke up,still dazed with sadness,
She belched and staggered off to the shelf
to pour more~and~slip into oblivion.



Details | I do not know? | |

The Only Way

A life of pain and mistaken thoughts
Afew sliced veins a kid mistaught
A kids mistrust
His soul in tatters
To his wrist this razor was thrust
His dreams shattered
A life of lies
A kid misunderstood
His unheard cries
Wanting nothing but to cause some good
Sitting alone
Thinking of his past
His future unknown
For this day will be his last
Wanting only for this pain to be gone
Suicide, the only way he knows how
So he knows this dawn
It will be over now, all over
He grabs his blade
Holds it to his wrist
His life betrayed
Longing to feel its final kiss
He screams
Blood starting to gush
It was just like his dreams
Such a rush
He smiles knowing
The pain is over now
His blood if flowing
It was the only way he knew how


Details | Lyric | |

Haunted

I see the vision playing back on me.
I close my eyes so I can't see
But the view won't stop.
Like this is on top
Of my list to do.
To be haunted by sights of you.
Visions of that day.
Now the pain just won't go away.
Now it replays back in my mind.
But I'm not the one pressing rewind.
You have made my life haunted. 
And now the nightmares will never stop it.
Until I can finally tell my story.
My story of what has happened to me.


Details | Blank verse | |

Forlorn

In my heart there’s no longer 
loneliness from longing for love.
Finally found someone to love, 
but he is my silent sorrow manifest.

In my chest there’s still even now 
a prolonging lonesomeness.
Finally found somewhere to live, 
but it is my isolating incubation erect.

In my head there’s still me, myself, 
and I comforting my lonely heart.
Finally found someway to befriend, 
but they are my persona’s karma manifest.

In my soul there’s no longer 
loneliness from longing for love.
Finally found some truth of whom I am, 
but my heart’s still filled with loneliness.


Details | Rhyme | |

THESE LIPS ARE TO COLD TO KISS

Time, is combined, in my mind.
Tragedy trickles to nowhere,
And now this pain I bare.
Seeing you for your worth,
Hearing you are only earth.
Killing, and filling, this feeling.
Lame, losers look like you.
Now this heart you threw,
Up on, and left the mess.
So this is progress?
Torture, under, this blur.
Blindsided by big, bountiful, beams,
That left me in shattered dreams.
Never thought I could catch this,
Because these lips are to cold to kiss.


Details | Blank verse | |

Love Song

Here’s what I’m thinking now 
at the end of the world: 

There are no atheists in foxholes— 
no theists in politics. 
If knowledge is power, 
and power corrupts, 
then why did I bother reading you, Cicero? 

Does it matter that I didn't’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

There’s a poetry reading tonight 
whence I’I'll chide other poets 
who don’t sit alone. 
I won’t bring up death 
but I might have to breathe, 
even into a mike 
and mouth lines to get a snap or a boo 
maybe even a wince or two. 

Just maybe I’I'll talk about love 
and how following your heart is like following a dog— 
it only leads to vittles and (female dogs). 
But how many times have I used that line 
since the story I wrote about you, 
a witty and sexy and fictional you? 
Most likely I’I'll read something tonight about you. 

I won’t recite it from memory 
because I don’t think about you that much anymore, 
not even when I search for my socks in your drawer 
or when I put on the scratchy sweaters you give me, 
horizontally striped to bring out my eyes? 

I don’t remember your eyes 
except they are blue. 
And I don’t remember you, 
not even when I smell cucumber and apple, 
not even when I sleep on my side of the bed 
or when you walk through the door 
happy to see me; 
even then I don’t remember you. 
Does it matter that I don’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

How about a few one-liners 
for the end of days?— 

Depression is self-awareness, 
which you’d know if you were; 
I need Ritalin to listen to you, 
Lithium to hug you, 
Viagra to feel you, 
and Valium to sleep. 

All you need 
is me standing there, waiting at home 
with turns of phrase and word plays 
telling you about why I hate Ayn Rand 
but want to buy as much as I can 
and how I love celebrity gossip 
and detest poetry slams 
and find rhyming trite 
except when I am. 

Hypocrites can still be right, 
which you do understand 
because you nod at my nonsense 
about fighting the man. 

But now, at the end of all things— 
I’m speechless and witless and pointlessly well-read, 
and you’re just sitting there, smiling 
asking me to pass the bread.


Details | Free verse | |

Darkness

Complete darkness
No sound at all
This is where you live
No one to talk to
The blackness, engulfing
Smothering the air out of you
In this vast void with lack of light
You are forced to believe
That you see a speck
A tiny green light
Way off in the distance
This blot of light brings so much hope
So many desires
You can hardly breath
Suddenly the light grows larger
You feel elated
Then FLASH
Complete darkness
No sound at all
Things are back
To the way they will always be


Details | Bio | |

35 Seconds to Suicide

1…2…3…4…
This is battle…This is war.

5…6…7...8…
Escape is just beyond this gate.

9...10...11...
All good girls go to heaven.

12...13...14...15...
The blade is ready, the blade is keen.

16...17.,.18...19...
Everybody must demean.

20...21...22...
I’d be alive if they only knew 

23...24...25...26...
My problems are too hard to fix. 

27…28…29…30…
Life is everything but sturdy.

31…32...33…
Life is the lock, death is the key. 

34...3-...


Details | Elegy | |

A Death Unborn

          Waiting on inspiration and wasting time.
Yet the search continues until I'm out of my mind.
         Then there's the other side of the story that nobody wants to hear.
And faced with reality,I realize my greatest fear.
          With my bloodline destroyed,there's nothing left.
 I embrace the day when I'll take my finale breathe.
          For the end to come,now I welcome the day.
 Then take to the grave,all the things I never got to say.
          On my way to a place,where I'll finally find peace.


Details | Blank verse | |

Sword of Roses

What, then, is Love but a sword of roses
Which cleaves poor waiting hearts
And thusly drunk with the blood of saints
Exults in its own dissipation?

And mine, a soul it so jagged gashed,
A scarred and wilted husk
Which once had songs to Heaven sung
Yet now but gasps with the fetid breath of dying things...

Oh soft Night's tapestry:meadows, fields, 
The courtyards of the Moon!
Now but brittle corpses endraped in silken mask,
Their board and banquet but sullen Death
Mocking of Light, fair Hope, and fond Embrace...


Details | Lyric | |

Borderline's Wreckage

I'm Agonizing every Word that my mind Creates You've done this all to me release your wrath to Me You wonder How much a Human Heart can take I've reached the limit You've invaded me on every level none of this is Mine anymore I can't bleed enough for You We're through This, This Torture Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You Feel Free to abuse If it's you I won't lose The Winds push away The Vines pull forth I'm at a lose on what to do So very lost and Confused Don't say we're through Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You I Hate you ...Don't leave me I push you so far away But need you so close I'm on the edge you're all I really need I'll do anything Just don't Abandoned me leaving has it's toll Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You


Details | I do not know? | |

God's Plan

All I can do is wonder. 
I'll never really know. 
OI'll never get to hug her, 
and she'll never see me grow.
When I wake up tommorrow, 
this nightmare won't be gone.
I'll never have what I took for granted, 
a chance to know my Mom. 

I know I shouldn't cry, 
because that won't bring her back.
It doesn't make up for the emptiness
or the love that I lack.
I'm almost grown up now.
I did it all by myself.
But I can't help but wish
I could be like everyone else.

I'm excluded from some "special bond"
and memories to be shared.
When all I ever asked for
was to have someone who cared.
The tearstains on my pillow
outnumber memories.
The only way I know her
is to see her in my dreams.

Daddy said she loved me,
but God called her home.
I don't know why he took her, 
the only Mom I'd ever known.
I guess he has a hidden plan, 
a reason I can't see.
I'm waiting for it to come together
and work out okay for me. 

I hope I'll understand some day
just what God has in mind. 
So no matter how much I miss my mother
I'll follow God's plan and be alright.


Details | Quatrain | |

An Evening in with the Cat

If I had a bottle of pills
I’d dump them out inside my mouth
Take the last few swigs of vodka
And swallow all of them down

If I had a big sharp knife
I’d drag the cold steel across my skin
If I thought for a moment it might
Bring this feeling to an end

I’d stare down the barrel
If I had a gun
Find the trigger with my finger
Pull it and be done

If I had a car
I’d park inside the garage
Leave the motor running
Till the poison filled my lungs

If I had a rope
I’d make myself a noose
Dangle there in my own doorway
Till somebody cut me loose

If I had someone to love
I'd probably treat them bad
Since that's all that I've known
In relationships of the past

 If I had a heart in my chest
I'd be able to forgive and forget
But there is nothing left
Of that beating mass of flesh

So I'll just continue
Sitting all alone and in the dark
A typical evening in with the cat
Doesn't seem that bad after all.


Details | Rhyme | |

Darkness

September 29, 2012
-------------------------

This secret life of lies you keep
Cause me to stumble and in pain to weep
Shine a light in the darkness
Help me travel safely through this darkness
This wretched, blasted dark you keep me in
All the doors locked, I crash into obstacles never to win
This race, not without a light
Without a glimmer, a candle, something to grant me some sight
Because I can't continue to wonder-
This darkness on my own blindly
I try to ease my way around the blocks
But still, in the dark, I fail to see the holes
And I fall-hard
And you're gone
And alone I weep
Because I cannot make my way without fail
All I ever wanted was to be your friend
But you will not let me in
So I continue to blindly wonder in the darkness
Always stumbling
Always falling
Always failing


Details | Light Poetry | |

A Melancholic

A disease intrinsic and quiet infesting a soul which submissively accepts presenting self inflicting suffering to the body which covers it. The record keeper of happiness loses his work from gross idleness. The fuel of laughter even with words and lines so sophisticated making the inanimate change state cannot drag a drop of smile from this soul so wary and pressed. Company is replaced with tears and all feelings, compressed into one. Cracking an egg shell from its edges is simpler than distinguishing its moods. What a soul! Why were you created when nature was sad? Why were you formed when the gods were asleep? Why were you blessed when the daughters of cheerfulness were drunk? The cloth of loneliness and the perfume of silence, you need to unwear no matter how hard. This will put on the light of proper existence for you to bathe in the spring of Life's beautiful varieties!


Details | Free verse | |

Fragile

Tears running down her cheek
So many hurtful words
So many left unsaid
Eyes swollen with the agony of his memory.

Life:
A horrific nightmare
Feelings:
Dead to all
Heart:
Broken to pieces
She's fragile and ready to fall.

Eyes dripping with sadness
Her heart growing colder than ice
Out the window and into the night
Swearing the last tears were cried.

Life:
A horrific nightmare
Feelings:
Dead to all
Heart:
Broken to pieces
She's fragile and ready to fall.

Losing control of all emotions
Sanity slipping from her fingers
Wanting memories of him to leave
Wishing the pain would wash away.

Life:
A horrific nightmare
Feelings:
Dead to all
Heart:
Broken to pieces
She's fragile and ready to fall.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Girl You See Today

The girl you see today,
Is not what she used to be,
She used to be so fragile,
If you could have been able to see.

The girl you see today, 
Used to cry herself to sleep
Suffering with depression,
Her emotions ran so deep.

The girl you see today,
Was bullied for no good reason,
Hating school everyday,
And throughout every season.

The girl you see today,
Was lonely and rejected,
Had nearly no friends,
And by half her family was neglected.

The girl you see today,
Was so innocent and small,
Couldn't free herself,
From the bullies and their wall.

The girl you see today,
Is no longer what she was before,
She's rude and uncaring,
Because she doesn't want to hurt anymore.


Details | Free verse | |

Hurt by Thoughts

Abusive words
Thoughts read aloud
A shot to my heart

They said:
I'm the problem in this world
I'm the rock in their shoe
I'm breaking them apart
I'm their problem
Maybe it's true

Lost in depression
Sicker than death
It hurts like it, too.

They said:
I'm the problem in this world
I'm the rock in their shoe
I'm breaking them apart
I'm their problem
Maybe it's true

Depression sinking deeper
My sanity gone
Lost control of myself

They said:
I'm the problem in this world
I'm the rock in their shoe
I'm breaking them apart
I'm their problem
Maybe it's true

Lost everything in life
Struggled for acceptance
Instead a stab in my back

All because they said:
I'm the problem in this world
I'm the rock in their shoe
I'm breaking them apart
I'm their problem
Maybe it's true.


Details | Verse | |

The Nymph

I live on that borrowed time
What do you know about me...
She was a nymph that got me
In sexual moments she kills
She gives something unwanted
A disease, unknown to all
Now I’m living with something
That could kill me instantly
I feel nothing but knowing
I could die...
This nymph knew me all too well
She used me
Can kill me and not be there
I just live on borrowed time
Death will one day lean on me
I will die

Russell Sivey


Details | Free verse | |

Sorrow of Rain

Foolishness rose inside this heart
It screamed for the quietude of present
And covered its ear at the screeches of piercing past
Groveling, undulating . . . the mountains arose
And all was in eyesight 
Senses bled out and the lambs painfully drank

This heart was once brazen, haughty and bright
Now it patiently waits for the blankets of night
It will never be uncovered, unraveled . . . discovered
This was the thought of the heart in history
But many have come across it
Only to pass by in distain 
For who can bear the noisy sorrow of rain? 
They pass feeling the anguish throb
Touching their hearts for moments
Only to be lost in the void named Forgotten

Fool . . . fool, how could you believe? 
This isn’t real—they cannot see
But in this place you have so easily found
Harder will it be in this heart—
To leave
To give away

It has fallen into selfish feeling
And it waits and wallows
Screaming still for silence
Never to attain
Only to gain the sorrow of rain

March 14, 2013


Details | Free verse | |

The Chasm Of Depression And Death

The Chasm Of Depression And Death

Screams heard in the far off distance
Tales of pain and horror
Echoing through the night
They call for a hope that is never to come
Their calls fall on deaf ears of those who went before
The light from the distant blood red moon is dim in lost chasm
Unable to show what the night has hidden
Depression and thoughts of death fill the air
Young people die by their own hands
One useless suicide after another
Their futures destroyed while their screams go unanswered
Hope hides on the edge of the valley
Just out of reach and so far out of their dreams
It waits for someone to find it
Wanting to reach down to help
It starves from the lack of attention
Young people dying in a chasm of depression and death
Never giving life or hope a chance
Never looking to the heavens
Never finding what they should have seen all along
If only someone, somewhere would have said something
Made them look harder at the edge of the chasm
Maybe it could have saved just one life
Then another and another until the chasm closed
And no other young person would fall into its depths


Details | Quatrain | |

Orange Little Ball

An orange little ball,
Tattered and torn to bits,
No longer does it fly straight,
Its course lost, its path in fits,

An orange little ball,
Sad within its cracks and in its creases,
Faded bumps, its lost its grip,
It now falls to pieces,

Orange little ball,
Come to death smiling,
Never live just to die,
Happiness lives in and amidst the crying,

Orange little ball,
Wipe the tears away,
There is peace to be found,
In and amongst the fray.


Details | Quatrain | |

Minor Discomfort

Does everybody feel the same as I do?
Lost? Adrift? Disconnected? Confused?
Does anyone know how to ease the hurt of truth
For the accuser, as well as the accused?

I've heard there's bliss
Found somewhere in ignorance
For those who have been stripped
Of their already fleeting innocence

So I continue to move through this life
Practiced smile, that doesn't quite reach my eyes
Which instead reflect the emptiness
That fills me up inside

It hurts to feel so alone and uncertain
Consumed by doubt and fear
Eventually life becomes a burden
Damaged beyond all repair

The temptation to numb all sensation
It more powerful than one might believe
I'll sacrifice the pleasure, to relieve the devastation
As passion gives way to apathy

Say whatever you want
About those who dwell on the past
Go ahead and judge me from your moral soapbox
While you cower behind your mask

The opinions of most matter very little to me
It won't be taken to heart as you intend it to be
First you'd have to practice the words you preach
If you ever do then I promise I'll start listening


Details | Rhyme | |

Heroes Soon Forgotten

Disease beneath the skin, iron will can never win.
Death in the air, sorrow and misery the killing pair.
What's no longer in the mind, has left for no one to find.
The eery chill, just waiting for the kill.
Demons never cease, death will never release.
The cold dead fingers, kills sorrows singers.
The dead in the earth, doomed from birth.
Lightning streaks the sky, as angels begin to cry.
The mighty hell fire, will never tire.
The infected precense, causes all to wince.
Throughout seasons, death has no reasons.
Hours are days, as the darkness forever stays.
Knife carves through bone, as the end is shown.
Before the damned awake, this world will break.
No repents for the sinner, in this game there is no winner.
When will we see the light, for all sicken of this endless fight.
The heroes will soon be forgotten, for now the loving hearts are rotten.
In those crying eyes, the darkness continues to rise.
Death plays the tune, beckoning the wicked soon.
Will this never end, for all have not sinned.
Remembering the dead, as all watched as demons fed.
Can any make it through, as hearts break in two?
All that remains, is the haunting scars and pains.
Trembling before shadows lord, deafening as the reaper has roared.
The blade falls, without the slightest pause.
Who can rise above, and make true what we've dreamt of?
Who can we trust, to fight through greed and lust?
Shattered dreams, tore through the seams.
We fight this master, as our lives drain faster.
Death comes to all, as they hear the voiceless call.
Getting closer to the gates, who now controls our fates?
Laughter burning through our ears, consuming all fears.
Finally there is freedom, finally the light has come.


Details | Lyric | |

Why Must It Be

Can I let you go? Will you be okay? Where you're headed now...to a better place Listen to my words of forgiveness relieving this pain I'd give anything to have you back again To hold you once more in my arms, one more day of happiness you now dwell within my heart Your innocent smile is forever a distant memory, and the times that we share are precious treasures that I spend reliving The Shadow of Death Took you in just one breath Why must it be? I cry behind this closed door, searching desperately for an answer, yet all I feel is an emptiness inside... despair haunts me forevermore Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave? Why does this have to hurt? Cancer robbed thy life from thee... Why must it be? Fly away Angel Child of Mine Trod thy broken paths, roam away, fly and be free... Why must it be?


Details | Free verse | |

Lamenting Spirit

Seemingly standing alone,
In the shadows of doubt and fear,
Lost, cold, forgotten,
Cold is the grasp of death that nears

Seeking a hand in darkness of solitude,
Wishing for nothing but a love,
Turned away, cast aside, borne not even a stray, lone thought,
Towering aloft, looked down upon from far above

Throned so high overhead, just as kings of old,
Glared down upon, a lowly tear forsaken so,
Caught within a trap, drowning, mists of sorrow,
A voice unheard, a voice deserted, only a voice in woe

Wandering such great, forlorn paths,
A derelict mind harshly beat, a mind that has since long been vacant,
Rove, this neglected child does,
One mind among so many, outcast, this dolor mind abeyant. 


Details | Elegy | |

Time Consumes Life

Just one more time, 
just one more breath,
 just one more moment to remember the past, 
lull in thy memories, 
breathe in thy essence, 
to look upon thy face,
 to know you still care,
 to know what we had was special, 
to be preserved in preferred memories. 

Where I am going I know naught.
 Floating as if in limpid water currents, 
languor reaching but finding not,
 solitary enraged soul longing for one more kiss, 
one kiss whence naught. 
Malformed monsters feast 
upon the vermin ravishing mine soul, 
my tender heart loathing sunset’s rays enfold, 
nighttime beseech me, broken heart unfold. 
Another night shine through tears, 
summoned by memories a hundredfold,
 putrid time consumes life; 
Cruel Life Sleeps.


Details | Lyric | |

A Silent Prayer




                                      Born in sin, 
                                innocent some say,
               Silent the night, as it creeps on into day.
                        A Silent plea for forgiveness,
                         a silent sin, a sin of silence, 
                                      silent friend

…                             Souls silently praying, 
                           In silence,  a silent prayer is
                                            Saying.
                                           Save me…

                            In silence I cry, Silently I die….
                                      Pray for silence, 
                                   Silently pray twice
                                      A silent prayer

                                             Saying,
                                           Save me….


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 2 of 2

After the quiet we all have to go
Dragged and carted by the Sonderkommando
To be dumped in pits covered by lime
A race to dispose by it's Human slime

Auschwitz, Buchenwald & Dachau slaughtered
Many a son, many a daughter
Experiments on children women and men
Some aged 90, many under 10

In 45, their end was near, how many alive would reappear
As Russians, British and US troops
Chased the Hun to their German roots
Each camp reached showed it's sordid past
Where millions of me, were massively gassed

In Auschwitz, to this present day
Birds don't fly, no animals play
The reminder is all for there to see
Those terrible days what happened to me

It's 1948, our Nation is born
From histories past, populations torn
To all who survived I wish you well
And our new born world, called Israel 


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | Free verse | |

Burn it Away

Those bad memories
They burn so deep
It hurts so bad
Make them stop
Make the tears freeze and forget
All the pain I feel
All this regret revealed
Burn it away


Details | Rhyme | |

I'm Hiding Deep Inside

Can no one see this
smile I'm faking,
See, how, inside,
I'm constantly
shaking?
These people all
claim they know me
well,
Yet no one can see
through my crumbling
shell?

"I'm fine", I
whisper, my sadness
unknown,
They leave me to
deal with this
anguish alone,
I've hidden behind
this wall most of my
life,
I've managed so far,
I've dealt with my
strife,

Watching as, slowly,
my blood leaks away,
It helps to keep
life's true horrors
at bay,
I pull down my
sleeve to cover my
hurt,
For approaching
footsteps, I'm on
the alert,

I guess my pretense
is just all too
real,
No one has to know
of the pain that I
feel,
The real me inside,
where no one can
see,
I can fool everyone
else, but why can't
I fool me?


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Bruise

Emotionally pinched
bruises the mind
blinds the eye from seeing
internal scars still bleeding
denial of the worst kind
feelings left behind
alone and distraught
in shadows of black and gray
surrounded by emptiness
.
Heart in shreds
gloom and dread
torn apart thoughts
doors of communication closed
beyond reach in saving
numb in soul
crying inside for help
prisoner of pain and hurt
trapped in confinement
of misery.


Details | Lyric | |

This is about you

When you have downfall on your mind chaos is all a mind can find, its time to change all the things you had held so deep inside, they cause rage, your trapped in while your caught up in the cage of life an easy life with out strife, no more pain or struggle inside a bubble and you want to make it burst, but first things first you know the times that come will be the worst, because its change you want, and you will taunt the ones who set the curse. They say if you want to change a little then its your choice, but if you want to change a lot they must first hear your voice, loud enough for all to hear, listen and all of the problems soon disappear, just know that the world can be a  bleak one and people dont always listen so you cannot only speak once, so when the end is near you can look back at the goodtimes throughout all the years think about all the times and cheer, and thank god you lived this long and your still here. Be remembered  only for  the words you spoke, for you do not want to be invisioned inside a cloud of smoke, watch as they listen when you start to feel the choke on the thoughts about your life,a bad life,  a black life, envoloped in fear you were hoping that the man would hear, and maybe take a listen, to diamonds in your mind as you watch them glisten. finally move to a position, and  open your ears and let your mind be clear, and hear the wisdom spoken from the person on the otherside of the mirror, society sobriety with out a clue just sit and ponder at the deepest thoughts that are revealed in you...


Details | I do not know? | |

The Oath

As I sit on the stand and raise my right
hand and swear to tell the whole truth.

I look at the man that raised his right hand
and made me suffer through all the abuse.

As I tell everyone what he has done,
his face turns red and I wish he were dead
but wishes don't always come true.

So as I step down from the stand to become a new man,
the darkness breaks free as the light finds me.

For the first time in year's I have other
tear's, tear's of happiness.

Now I'm free from all the wasted tears and all the
wasted fears, Because new years is a smile away.


Details | Rhyme | |

PLAY ME A VIOLIN

this my pain
that never really goes away
has become so much
another part of me
a part that comes and goes
like the changing moon phases

this vicious cycle of hurt in me
just goes round and round
like a ring
and it never seems to cease or halt
and it hurts so bad
it really hurts!
and maybe if i hug myself tight
i could squeeze it put eventually

so let me sit here on this grass
with the rain falling ll over me
let me cry till i find some peace
till this pain,i can no more see
that  these tears mingle with the rain
and i shall feel no more pain
and this cold make my skin numb
for more man y a trying time

here i am all alone
how I've been
how I'll always be
but maybe
just maybe
will you hold m y hand
and squeeze just a tiny bit
so i may feel alone no more
so i may feel
someone listening to my pain
for just this once
for it seems
no one ever understands my tears
maybe I'm just too complicated

so just play me a violin
a slow,sad,soothing song
maybe over this pain, I'll win
and feel much better ere long
then i shall lay on my pillow
and let my last tears follow
and cry one again to sleep
but awake manana with new hope.


Details | Rhyme | |

lie to me

tell me now,
you are mine,
love is good,
life is fine,
lie to me,
and stay tonight,
make me feel, 
wrong is right,
tell me how,
we will end,
together forever,
love can't bend,
lie to me,
hold me tight,
lie to me,
and love me tonight.

@};~


Details | Free verse | |

Dream You'll Never Mention

Tell me
Have you ever had a dream
A dream where your own blood fell upon blue roses
And you fell through the ground as petals floated on the wind
Tangling in your hair
Red and blue rotting jewels 
The thick smell of old blood at the bottom of your own well
A dream where your heart felt the impact before the rest of you
And stopped for just a moment
Cold in your chest with the realization of death
And woke up
And then you cried
It didn’t change your life or the way you acted
It did not make you stop your closed door ritual 
Or throw your kit away
It scared you so bad, and yet
You never told another soul about your dream
Or what lies just beneath you tattered sleeves and ragged jeans
You want and do not want to be saved, for someone to know
Tell me
Have you ever lived a nightmare
You didn’t know how to escape? 


Details | Free verse | |

Elevators: 5 Horsemen

Part 1

Onion

the delicacy of friendship

I found you in the flowers
Standing tall we become one
Looking down from gangly towers
Squash, you burn, you pillage, son.

Follow me you say in tongues
Thy shallow mind reveal me tell
Whisper lies clean load the guns
I feel the burn I rot in hell

Friend folly menacing the liar
I loathe this coffin how it leaks
Dear foe you raped me set on fire
The onion peal itself and weeps

Part 2

Traitor

dear monkey boy

Older eyes eat themselves,
glance and kill the other
Unified in the dance,
they steer the musty rudder.

Pained and sweeter deeper wells,
poised buckets drunk with water.
Singled out the one that dried,
handed weights to pull him under.

Wiser times capture the mind,
death justifies dishonor.
Knife slice neat through the devil's back,
who stares blank and milks the udder.

Part 3

Tempest

patron saint

Inside this box
Goodbye tempestuous fall
My puppet of steel coiled thread
Smashed buttons and twisted dread,
Alarm these doors, and
Escape this delusive bunker bed

Stamp the spiders
Thief, vulture of the deflection
The mocking patron of the sinners
Erase this affliction
Relating inward at the reflection

Rise you fool

Part 4

Phoenix

i love you

close the grip
cinched hematic grip
drenched, clawing
seeking the sheave
becoming the counterweight

i absorb, now
extracting the heat
rise like a phoenix
away to be gone to be free
fix me! i have fixed me

i am alive and i love you

Part 5

Aye, Damager

Abolish her state of disrepair
Scattered, spattered drippy thoughts
All around this box of soused leaves
Soak, ferment in the faith of our love

I can't fix this, you know
I loathe this misunderstanding
Of what I am speaking, projecting
To me, Aye Damager, to you

This devil in me
turned and twisted
A wrecked elevator in rejection
Years locked painfully aware

...


Details | Free verse | |

Note to Self:

Don't cry,
It won't do any good.
Stop thinking of him,
The pain will only get worse.
Try not to remember,
You'll only hurt more.
Don't think of the way your hand fit into his perfectly,
Don't remember the way his eyes twinkled when he was happy.
Forget how he would get angry at whoever made you cry,
Forget his awesome smile, his warm hugs.
Shy away from his name,
Push him into the depths of your mind.
Move on, stop wallowing in self-pity.
It's not like you were going to be together forever.
Even if you thought you would be
Just forget all the days you spent together,
The amazing dates you had not so long ago.
Face it; he's not coming back.
Stand up straight, and walk forward.
Be brave.


Details | Free verse | |

Wrists

The sharp edge 
catches the light on my
wrist like a bangle that was 
meant to be there

The blade has teeth but
doesn't smile
it just knows, it just understands
me
and my shaking fingers

like a servant 
it will do as I ask
like a slave
there is no choice
like a friend 
it loves me more than others
who find themselves
on the opposite side
of my locked
bathroom door

And now I call, now I let fall
all of the change
I would never see come to pass
I hold tight to the razor edge
and bury it through my vanishing skin
I can't win, but I will be here
fighting back the world
with a leaking heart

Which spills off my arms...
onto a desensitized, white floor

This is my door, my way
my red choice forming pools
around my fallen, slumped hands

I just want to be understood
I just want to show
all this color within

And you can have it now
I give you all of me
colorless and empty

Since now I finally make it right
I've finally saved 
my
life...


Details | Free verse | |

Another

People ask me why I wear black
And bitterly I shall snap back
Lack of color helps me conceal
How it is I truly feel
A colorless life, harsh situations
But no fear of implications
There is no color, can be no blame
I can hide in the dark, free from shame
Colors only distract attention
From the reality, the pure intention
I am broken, I am insane
I feel a never ending pain
Now I ask you, go away
So I can cry another day
Another day of hurt and sorrow
An endless day, awaits tomorrow


Details | Free verse | |

Agonizing Love

Sharp Pains in my chest
a fire started in my throat
the sting of torment inmy eyes
a weary feeling in my heart

those last few words
that horrid look
the bitter sound of your voice
is torture to my ears

a hammer to my heart
a bullet to the brain
can someone please stop him
from causing me this pain?

I promise to never do this again
if I knew that this would happen
it never would have started
I never would have loved you.

I can't hold up any longer
I'm falling out of love.
is this how heartbreak feels?
it hurts...
I'll never love again.


Details | Free verse | |

Hear Me Cry

Before I die
Hear me cry
Sometimes it seems
He knows my needs
At times it feels
Like this is real
Most times at night
He's out of sight
During the day
The same way
With each new lie
I die inside


Details | Haiku | |

Of a Lonesome Heart

          Where love- is obscure,
My heart- floats- amidst the fog,
                    Waiting- patiently.


Details | Romanticism | |

Deep regrets

 As the temperature was still ordinary,
The regional wind blows away my mind,
The roses beside my grandma's house,
Bend over the comfortable, breeze air.

Nothing seems so painful for me before,
After noticing there  wasn't even a mirage
To appease my dire thirst of your love.
You were born to satisfy my faithful soul.

But, now a soulless body I am.
Without you around my patient arm
Is analogous to be killed imperceptibly.
The more i think, the more I'm falling!

I saw the brilliant sun rising at night,
The moon and the sparkled stars at the day.
The daytime turned out to be the night-time.
My world just turned upside down now.

You can take everything away from me,
Deep regrets might be all remained after.
But know that you cannot run away
With as much love as I got for you!


Details | Lyric | |

In My Eyes

Find a way to me. A way you will find. See the colors, In my eyes. Drain the grey, And the black. Bring the color, In my eyes. See flashing of blue, Flashes of green, Flashes of brown. If you search for me, Search for my eyes, There I will be found. See the rainbow inside. To think I went insane. You weren't mine. That's what would keep me sane. Dreams and flashbacks come into view. Thinking of what could we've been, Thinking of the pictures of you, Thinking of what we had, I knew I was doomed. See flashing of blue, Flashes of green, Flashes of brown. If you search for me, Search for my eyes, There I will be found. Much of darkness is in my eyes. Haven't you noticed I've been down? Showed my all the lies, Do you know in my tears, I drown? See flashing of blue, Flashes of green, Flashes of brown. If you search for me, Search for my eyes, There I will be found. See flashing of blue, Flashes of green, Flashes of brown. If you search for me, Search for my eyes, There I will be found. There I will wait, There I will cry, There I will relate, There I will die. ~ORIGINAL~ <3 Evalina Elena Eshiii E>


Details | I do not know? | |

The Light

~The Light~

I remember the first time
 Voices in my head getting way too loud
Just a little girl unable to enjoy the world around me
I thought there was no way out
Almost took the easy way out
Then I saw something shining at the end of a long dark tunnel
It gave me hope
A reason to believe
As long as I kept my focus on

~The Light~

Thirteen and so very young
Afraid to tell a soul
About the demons in my head
I thought that I had to deal with them 
For myself by myself
Until I slipped and told a friend
Finding out she heard them sometimes too
Helped me feel a little better
It is just too bad she never had a chance to see
Brightness at the end of her tunnel
After she moved away
She just gave up 
Walking away from 

~The Light	~

I felt so bad 
Yet I managed to hide the pain
I always felt inside
Even in my darkest hours
With many attempts behind me 
I kept hoping to see

~The Light~

It is beautiful to see how a family can rescue 
Their fallen 
Just not giving up
Always feeling their unconditional love 
Knowing they were there
It all helped me walk out of that dark tunnel
Embracing

~The Light~

Now I firmly believe it is possible
For the most troubled soul
To find a way out
Without taking the easy way
With love and support
I know you can do it too
As you go through life’s journey
Wherever it may take you 
Always remember to look for and 
Embrace 

~The Light	~

By: Jean Shular


Details | Free verse | |

-Bittersweet-

I was naive to believe you'd always love me
Living in my dreams until you stabbed me with reality
Your dagger's still lodged in my heart
Every now and again, for your amusement
your words twist it ever so slowly
Tear's of blood trickle down my breast
Pain is unbearable, leaving me immobile and screwed
Turning my mind bitter and mean
You were nothing but a dream
A fantasy that I thought I could hold onto
For a split second, I let emotions take over
Spinning me in every direction
Should of awoken before my life had no meaning
With no one to love me, and no one that cared
We both know now I'll never be what you need.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Warrior

The Warrior

My pencil is my sword
My eraser is my shield
And when I go to war
My paper is my battlefield 
When life is to much
This is how I express the way I feel
And so I write such words
As murder, stab, kill
When people read these words
Misunderstanding they think I’m insane
But this is just how I vent
All my anger, frustration and pain
People that don’t know me
Think I look like a bad man
The people that say they do know me
Think I live the life of a madman
All of these things
Circling in my head
Sometimes I have to wonder
Would I be better off dead
I used to be a somebody
And my reputation would reflect
That I used to be a person
To look up to and respect
But now you can see
By the trembling in my hands
That all I am these days
Is a tired, broken man


Details | Free verse | |

Mirror

Pain is etched into your eyes
And it haunts me deep into my core
I wish so much to relieve you of your pain
But I must first relieve my own
But to do so I need to understand why I feel this way
Why I hurt so much 
Like I’ve been gut punched
Eyes flicker to me then away
You can’t stand the sight of my scars
The one’s I forced my hand to make
But you have to live with them 
You have to see the ugly
The pain
The unwanted mistake standing in front of you
You have to accept it but you can’t
Because I am you
And you are me


Details | Rhyme | |

Drowning

Keep me going 
Hold me tall 
My bodies flowing 
Please don't let me fall
Your burden lays on me 
You weigh me down
Cant you see 
I am about to drown
I hurt inside 
I am overcome with emotion
So hard i have tried 
Now i drown in your ocean


Details | I do not know? | |

Trapped Inside

Trapped inside This empty house, I start to Scream I start To shout, I fill like I'm About to die, If only I can find My way outside, Tears slowly fill My weeping face, There’s no way To escape this so Called fate, A dark shadow fills My room, He's back to Finish what's now My doom, He slings me against A cold brick wall, I can not walk I start to crawl, A sharp pain Fills my chest, As he begins to beat What’s barely left, I fill as if this Is the end But truly it Has just begun.


Details | Rhyme | |

dreams of love

wings so light,
broken now,
hearts will bend,
love will bow,
til it breaks,
along with  me,
you are lost,
as love can be,
so we cry,
for the past,
and the joy,
that wouldn't last,
love is a lie,
thats what i say,
prove me wrong,
find a way,
if you can,
make me see,
what my own,
heart can be,
because i feel,
hollow and cold,
let the heat,
of flame take hold,
and bring out,
warmth in me,
heat that might,
set me free,
chilling stare,
calls me out,
i must fight,
back my doubt,
it's okay,
to let it go,
when the pain,
is all you know,
let me fall,
in waters deep,
mind is numb,
and i'm asleep,
now i dream,
of colors bright,
i will wish,
for love tonight.

spelling issues and butterflies. @};~


Details | I do not know? | |

-Thinking of You-

Lost in the pitch black memories of my mind
With no light shining through
My soul aches
Thinking of you.
I think about the places we were
Middle of the days by the interstate
Late nights on top of the hill
Making love like it was our first time.
Our first time, foot of my bed
Hearts beating out of control
Me telling you "Make sure this is what you want."
And you slipping right in, No hesitation.
I close my eyes, no more smiles to share
Hugs and kisses are gone
Your memory is so dark, allowing no light to shine through
Man does it hurt......Thinking of you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Necessary Evil

take this blade 
and cut your wrists
make escape holes for the devil

let him leave you
through the bleeding
make the world then somewhat level

it's a sacrifice 
most unholy
but for the good of all mankind

so take thy soul
unto the slaughter
and you'll find i'm right in time

sure i'm just 
your shoulder demon
and yes i've fallen from what's divine

but no lives
will get saved this evening
'less you're willing to cross the line


Details | Lyric | |

October

there is an intense 
ageless quality to an 
autumnal day in October 
that embraces the past, and all 
its wistful tenderness 
the present and its disturbing sameness 
and the future, with its unknown quantity 
of joy and sadness 


Details | Prose Poetry | |

This I know

Why?
The question so easy
So difficult to answer
I know why

Why?
It leaves me broken all over again
I know the answer, I know, no, no, no . . .
I don’t want this

Why?
This pain that’s not all mine . . . hardly mine
It rips and tears and cuts
My heart to pieces 
It bleeds and drains my soul away
I wish I never had one

I know why
Why did I have to teach myself the answer?

I know why
I wish I was blind, deaf, numb and uncaring
I wish you never made me

Why?
Why did you put me here?!
What did we do to you?
I wish I knew what to say!

Why?
Every time life turns good and gets better
You smash it all to bits and pieces
You rip and tear and shred me apart
Again and again and again!!

I know why
God help me I know why
It leaves me beaten, battered, discarded and defeated
Alone . . .
Always alone in the end
I don’t want to know why anymore
Take it away
You can do it if you try

 
Why?
I cannot stop myself from know why
And these words sound hollow empty like me
Why not me and not other
It was I who stole and ripped asunder
A world, a life, ahhhhh I curse you!!!!!
Not them, not him, not her . . 
Me
Just me

Why?
Can’t you . . .
Just go away and leave us be
Why can’t I cry for anyone or anything

Why?
Would someone please tell me
Please
What good is a heart and soul anyway?
You break and take them both away all the time
You bastard!!

Why?
Ask me why I don’t believe in you!
Ask me again why I believe I live in hell!

Why . . ?
Just tell me why . . .


Details | Free verse | |

What they see

I wonder what they see...
When they look down at me...
I wonder do they know I feel...
That my emptiness is real.

I wonder if when I die...
Will the tears be real that they cry..?
I wonder if they know I cared...
I trampled my own heart better they faired.

I wonder if they knew the beatings 
were so they would have a dad...
Or that I loved them even when I got mad...
I wonder if they know I prayed...
As lifelessly my body laid.

I wonder if they will listen as the doctors say...
We had to keep her confidentiality to her dyeing day...
I wonder if they know I lived for them out of love...
I wonder if they'll realize I see those that live with god above...
He holds my hand when seizures come and take hold...
Afraid to die knowing to them, they felt I was oh so cold.


Details | Ballad | |

Martyr for the Unorthodox word

If I had over 10,000 dreams You'd be the only thing my mind could see Judgment couldn't be real Succumbing to the fear of this cold life Find a way to break through The self-destruction of wordly delusions Don't tell me I've lived so long in a lovely illusion Break me down until we find a Nirvanic state Then bring me a savior from transgressions An atoning sacrifice Send down to me a messenger for me to submit to Bring me the truth to break through The delusion Bring me the messenger to explain it all And let me leave behind Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word


Details | Lyric | |

The Escapist's Plea,

I dont know where i'm going anymore hard to tell who you are when the indiffrency has settled in cold, empty, barren will i ever find a way? Help me find a way out of this sorrow filled cage My soul singed with everyday Reality so hard to face I need to find a way to escape Only if i could just fly a way I try to stay sane But i fell under the september rain A repuiem for the reality That i never wish to see Help me find a way out of this sorrow filled cage My soul singed with everyday Reality so hard to face I need to find a way to escape Only if i could just fly a way I need a way to escape, Only if I could just fly away


Details | Free verse | |

Invisible

I’m invisible to you.
I’m invisible to everyone
I’m here but I’m not
People see me but they don’t
They know me but they don’t
I am not what I seem but 
You nor anybody else knows that
I am invisible
What you see is not me
I am invisible
What you see is an imposter
Costumed up for your own importance
Who I am is invisible to everyone
But you don’t care
I am invisible


Details | Rhyme | |

The King Of Pop

from his abc's
to that freaky billy jean

came a pop star 
for all to love and see

from the apollo's stage
wondered if you were ready for screaming rage

for you never had a childhood of bliss
only done what was on joseph's list

a studded white glove 
and white socks just because

a star on the hollywood walk of fame
for you sang and danced showing no shame

scandals of twisted truth
did not detour you from your missing youth

neverland was your own safari escape
who would figure your best friend would be a chimp of faith

michael may god cradle you in his arms
and basked in your king of pops worldly charm

will forever miss that porcelain smile
and always think of you on my radio dial

for now your at your heavens trial
may god forgive this lost and lonely child




In Loving Memory Of
Michael Joseph Jackson
Aug 29th 1958 - June 25th 2009

           RIP


Details | Rhyme | |

You Will Be Missed

If you died today, 
What would you think?
Where would you go?
Do you think, you would think?
I don’t know.

Look down upon, those you love. 
Look down, look down,
From high above.
You see them grieving,
Hurting so much,
They regret your leaving,
They miss your touch.

Why oh why did you have to leave?
Come back come back,
Wipe their tears with your sleeve.
Give them a hug,
Tell them it’s alright.
It’s time to unplug.
The light is so bright.

They feel you here,
They feel you going.
Was a wonderful life,
One worth knowing.
Closer and closer,
To the light you go.
Brighter and brighter,
They will miss you so.


Details | Free verse | |

Vices

Powder dreams and acid queens
Snow white bliss and razor 
blades
Rails so thick your heart will 
bleed
Find your fix so you’ll succeed 
Uppers, downers, sweet cocaine
Every demon has a name
All that matters is the fight
To stay alive and in the light
It hurts so bad right through the 
core
You fear two words and that’s 
coke whore
Cut so deep to feel alive
With every shot you build your 
pride
The fiery rush and burning lust
Nothing else matters f*** their 
trust
A slip, a fall is all it takes
To see you land back on your 
face
The heart that breaks can’t take 
no more
Your soul is gone thrown on the 
floor
The pills you pop the smack you 
shoot
The crack you cook the lines 
you toot
The midnight toke that liquid 
courage
That blissful coke won’t be 
discouraged
Rapping, tapping on your door 
Claiming your body take some 
more
A stressful day a slip from grace
A couple more makes my heart 
race
The walls cave in two worlds 
collide
I wait in horror as my heart dies
A crash of sound a rush of red
Crimson tears are filled with 
dread
The sirens fade and fall away
Too late for fate this ends today


Details | Free verse | |

You Don't Know Me

I smile so no one can see my scars.
You think i'm happy.
But you don't know me.

You don't know the girl
who cries herself to sleep.
Who marred her skin
from all the stress.
Who hates herself 
for all she's done.
Who chokes back screams
when she sees you smile.

You think I handle all this well.
But you don't know 
the torture I put myself through.
I punish myself for all your lies,
but still can't hate you.

You think you can see
but you don't know me.


( 2004 )


Details | Blank verse | |

Turmoil

Swirling, frightening, painful, sad.
Why have you died?
Where do we go?
In turmoil,
Tears leaking from my eyes.
Please tell me why
you've gone.
There's another place,
but, you're not near anymore,
with your wit, your smile, your gentleness.
In turmoil,
and somehow it will pass.
Give it time
Right, I say as the tears
flow unchecked.
The grief is overwhelming. 
I don't understand.
I call out to thee.
Wrap me in your love, your kindness,
your sadness.
Wrap me in your turmoil.


Details | Free verse | |

Love

I keep hearing that you exist. 
People say they see you-
They touch you.
They say you help them when depressed, sad and lonely.
They say you keep people together- forever.
Some even say you do not work all the time;
You have a tendency to fade away-
Only for a short time, however,
For you can return to set things back to norm.
I'm curious- love.
Do you really return?-
Do you really fade away?-
Do you really keep people together- forever?-
Do you really console the depressed, sad and lonely?-
For I am sad, lonely and depressed.
Will not you help me?
Why ignore me?-
Or forget me?
Why listen to what others have to say about me?
I tried to reach for you too-
You just could not see.
For sadness, depression and loneliness kept you blind;
Blind from watching my hands reach out to you...
You fell-
Long gone-
Never came back.
Do not worry-
I keep hearing that you exist.
Tis' true?- 
Do you really- 
Exist?


Details | I do not know? | |

Wounded

These thoughts fill my brain,
my mind is screaming loudly.
I'm tired of this dark world,
the demons that lurk around corners.
Not one place is safe,
there is no where to hide.
Pain fills my life,
sorrow fills my heart.
Darkness clouds my thoughts,
shrouding my better judgment.
The walls are closing in,
the shadows are growing near.
Suffocated by pain,
drowning in a river of tears.
My eyes are growing red,
as the knife carves deep,
deep into my tender flesh.
The memories cut deep,
leaving behind fresh scars.
These thoughts that fill my brain,
drive me insane.
A scream caught in my throat,
chokes out all of my breath.
When will this sorrow end?
When will this bleeding heart mend?


Details | Free verse | |

Felo-De-Se Dream

I just drank a fifth of vodka
A lot on my mind
I start crying
But not because I'm sad or scared
It just feels like I'm supposed to
Razor blade in my hand
Ready to cut my flesh
First I slit my neck
Then both wrists
See the blood drip
Feel it running down my skin
Hear it hit the floor
Smells great
One taste & reality hits
Blood is gone
No cuts
Or tears
A voice says,
"This is your future"
Then I wake up


Details | Free verse | |

October 13th

Wake up a little earlier; another troubled night
But the remnants of pre-birthday make-up still do their job remarkably
Smile for the camera; these pictures are keepers, so realistically modelled for
Thank yous for unthoughtful offerings; why hurt feelings after all?
A dozen friends all come along; it's not their scene but they want to please me
Can't look over there, have to be the last to go through the door
They're trying so hard, all their love gathering on my windowsill
Some cards handmade with heartfelt affection, gifts so vague and cliched, more 
roses than I could care for
And your dusty eyes still staring through them all from behind the frame
Complete the scene as my headstone

Couldn't have slept at all
Excitedly imagining what you were planning
Warm in your jacket you gave me to sleep in
Wouldn't lift or lower my foolish head
Jitters looking forward to you
Flash could've gone off but we wouldn't notice
Shroud me with your words, promises you could not keep
All the guests combined; a less than you companion
I wonder why we couldn't make it through?
And I'd never had to say goodbye 'til the day that I met you
All that I'd got for we pushed them all out
And I didn't miss them.
Didn't miss them.

Why are you still asking after me?
How do you still reach into my eyes
Before I turn away?
What happened to let us get like this and tell me
When can it end?
How is it I want it to stay?
Though there's a soft spot for you in my heart and you're
Slowly seeping out

Frozen as this face remains
Breaking when I'm forced to recall
I'm 18 and you're not here
But she passed on your message for me
Happy Birthday.
And in those obligated words it all crashes back
I'll keep all our secrets and ignore all the rest
The world we made and left to decay
Keeps me smiling for every wasted day.


Details | I do not know? | |

Crying Sorrow

There is nothing left in my life
I start to cry as I grab my knife
I hate the world and my mind
Afraid that I will get left behind
I sit in the shadow when I feel cold
Killing myself and losing my soul
No one can save me
They never cared
Losing blood I'm very scared
Starting to fade and losing the fight
I cry on this cold and lonely night...


Details | Rhyme | |

Celebrity

As the car door opens, she steps out.
She is beautiful, beyond all doubt.
Her dress is as elegant as a ballerina’s dance.
All eyes on her, gazing in trance.
Her audience applauds her as she walks by.
She fakes a smile when she wants to cry.
She wants to escape this overwhelming life.
It saddens her that there is always strife.
She greets the others as she walks in.
They give her looks and also grin.
She wonders if they feel the same way.
Maybe on the inside, they are not ok.
Do they feel the pressure to always act out?
Drinking and partying, that’s not what life is about.
How can we be an influence when our morals are gone?
Even though we hurt, we continue to push on.
Sometimes she wishes she could go back to being just her.
The movies and spotlight is not what she deserves.
She feels the need to fulfill everyone’s desire.  
It takes control like a consuming fire.
She has grown weary with all the fame.
Life isn’t easy when there is no one else to blame.
The need for a normal life is there.
In the end, all she has is prayer.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Sea of Sorrow

All alone in the middle of pain-
drowning in a sea of sorrow -
a demented asylum of unmerciful distress-
that destroys all hopes of tomorrow-

these dark crashing waters-
that are fueled by the rain-
are destine to swallow me-
in this cold sea called pain-

my heart beats uncontrollably-
as I frantically gasp for air-
but my lungs are filled-
and my cries are silenced- 
by the bitter waves of despair-

where is the sun to dries these waters-
and give long awaited relief-
to a soul that's drowning in a deep sea of sorrow-
pulled under by the currents of grief-


Details | Free verse | |

Your Death - Dedicated to my Husband

As I see you take your last breath
I cry and scream in agony
For I have lost my best friend and
The only man that ever truly loved me
You knew all my secrets
You knew all my faults
And loved me in spite of them

Now I feel bitter regret
Because I have missed so
Much time with you
And now it is too late
I have lost you forever

You were the only one 
Who was ever true to me
You would have ripped
Out your heart if I needed it
Though abuse and betrayal
Found me because of you
I always knew how much
That you loved me

Despite the many faces 
That you have encountered
During your lifetime
I was the only woman
That you ever loved 
Though I was full of
Many imperfections 
You saw me as 
The perfect woman
In every way
The devotion you have
Shown me surpasses
That of all of the romantic
Tales that have ever been told

Now all I can do is
Cherish your memory
Like I should have done
When you were alive
Your passing does not
Only mean the ending 
Of your earthly existence
It is the death to the
Beating of my heart
For I cannot live
Without my soul mate



Details | Blank verse | |

Mourning

The light shines down
Chilling my soul with its flame
The pain of loss
Rips my spirit apart
I lose myself in the depths of sorrow
Which overwhelms me with the loneliness
Journeying into the pit of never-ending sleep
I find myself swimming about
In the shallow abyss
Looking for a glimmer of life
That I have yet to live
I find there is none


Details | Couplet | |

Disappointment

Disappointment was never as lovely as she
Hope caught in my heart fighting delicately
She's always the dream that never fades upon waking
The cause and the comfort for all of my shaking

I like to glance over then turn carelessly
Just to see if it makes her come over to me
Her smile is infectious and wipes away fear
If it fades then I show her that I'm always near

Sometimes we are split by self-built barricades
So I break through our silence of awkward blockades
And no matter how often old times we recall
We'll forever laugh and the false walls will fall

They all think I'm crazy my truth to repress
Do anything for her and never confess
Yet silently love I continue to show her
It's enough just to feel that I'm getting to know her

But despite my devotion and adoration
There still remains space for one complication
The spark in my eyes grows colder and dim
When I am reminded she's happy with him

Surely love wants the best for the person it's for?
Not selfishly trying their joy to ignore
But however hard jealousy my heart will dent
If my darling is happy, then I am content.


Details | Rhyme | |

You Catch me

I cannot get to sleep, yet I dream.
Bond to forever weep, this life can't redeem.
Pictures of you, flood through my mind.
Helping me make it through, our end I will not find.
Living is a war, war is hell.
You have my heart forever more, I'd always tell.
So many rhymes, telling my story.
About all my crimes, and what little glory.
Only one true love, always you.
I've always dreamt of, us making it through.
A fire burns, within our eyes.
As the world turns, our love never dies.
So many roads, along the way.
Our goofy codes, bring us closer everyday.
All these things, all these memories.
Remembering brings, me falling to my knees.
When I fall, you catch me.
When you saw, I fought passionantly.
My broken fingers, point to the sky.
Your kiss lingers, helping us to fly.
You catch me, as my body drops.
I'm set free, when this depression stops.
I catch you, I'll always be there.
Oneday it will be just us two, for this love can't tear.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Confused and lost
sitting in a place full of ghosts
longing for  love I will never find
hoping one day someone will understand me
holding my heart close behind this wall
wanting someone to take it and keep it safe
knowing it will never happen
no one can see past the wall that's in place
hiding who I am from prying eyes
never letting anyone see my longing
never able to find the door to let them in
being ever eluded by the truth
a truth only felt from love
no one really sees me
no one really cares to look


Details | I do not know? | |

Nightmare

Standing alone in the night Dark all around Something doesn't seem quite right I hear a sound Like a werewolf howl Coming from all around And the noise of an owl Piercing red eyes appear Lightning strikes from the sky Death is seeming rather near And I don't want to die Am I dreaming? I hope I'm dreaming? Nightmare Confronting everything that I fear Nightmare The seeming reality of everything I see and hear Down into the ground I fall Deep into the dark Evil says my name, I hear it call The devil's made his mark I run, through the endless cave Stumbling through to find there's no way out Everything is what I've gave I've given up, all I want to do is scream and shout Nightmare! This is everything I fear Nightmare! I think the end is coming near I hope I'm dreaming I wish I was dreaming But I know this is my fate Lucifer, he can't wait To take my soul away There's nothing more I can do or say Nightmare! Losing everything I ever cared for Nightmare! Losing myself even more Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare! What I never want Nightmare! My mind is does haunt It don't care What I fear Cause with it, it grows I'm hating everything it knows I wish it wasn't real Everything I see and feel But it's true And just like a Nightmare!


Details | Lyric | |

Life's Bottomless Pit

Bankrupt and broke life has given to me
Endless contradictions with windows I see
What a shame that it is to be in this bind
However the outcome I'm losing my mind...

Yesterdays care gave out almost there
While trailing once more, lifes relentless wear
Has taken me down again and again
Yet this time it's different, this time I give...

Watching and wishing I keep on missing
Something inside that will stop it's pissing
Life's pissing on me and letting me know
Get out of the way get out of the flow

I've fallin again and boy I fell hard
Fighting lifes ways justifies my scar's
Painful emotions have robbed me today
It procrastinated awhile and became enraged
  
What can I do when inside me I knew
There's somewhere I'd been adjusting my view
I am all the way down and feeling quite sick
Standing on the bottom of life's bottomless pit...


Details | Rhyme | |

The Streets

The words that follow are not so grand
Because of The Streets on our countries land
By day they are light, lived and free
As night fades they change you'll see
 
Community spirit grows and sprouts
As the evening draws, neighbourhoods ooze doubts
The person you seen hours before
Is not the person you will come to adore
 
Gangs pimps in a darkened craze
Can't stand the light in a living way
They need the shadows to hide their souls
To capture the innocent in their putrid folds
 
Prostituted girls, our sisters and nieces
Become use able pieces
Nephews and sons, given guns
Do a deed and become one
 
The slime that rule, cowards are they
Hire big boys to do their say
Taken in, by dollars and booze
Where once they were someone
What respect they lose
 
Why should the neighbourhood 
Not be able to roam
In daylight or night
After all it's their home
 
The scum all around
Should disperse and flee
Out of The Streets
Of our towns and cities
 
If it's ever a road you have to go down
We should have the right to clear our town
Vigilante or law, what ever to be
Its our right
For The Streets to be free


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/life.php


Details | Free verse | |

Nothing More To Do With You

This ends right now.
Confided in me then threw it all away
There can be no love left within me
Angerfeardisappointmentdespair
But you've lost it all now - I've given up on you.

He's got you doing I don't know what
And the rumours are rumours but the rumours are true

And if I saw him I swear
I'd smash his face in.
Could do with another outlet after all
These stabbing shrieks inside my chest
Scraping at my flesh and bone
Won't let them penetrate me

See her; who is she?
Wonder if you know her
She's everything you pretended to be
Emotionless beneath that metal
Trusting no-one still being betrayed

Who are they in the frame with her?
These strangers who casually call themselves friends
You're so stupid
They couldn't care less
Watch you stagger and fuel the habits they helped you start

Mindless idiot.
She's going to die and she's taking you with her

Don'tpiercethatdon'tsmokethatdon'ttakethat
What more can I do when you block me out?
Sleep around black out come to me for comfort
Crazy little girl, could slash you and let all the bad rush out
But then of course we'd have nothing left
And it grieves me that it's come to this
Can't stand it anymore; you're on your own you've got a choice you'll make the 
wrong decision I can't be there to guide you

Confided in you then threw it all away
Can't keep these lame promises and I know
I said I'd always be there
But I was there for you and I'm talking to myself 'cause you're dead on the inside
And it's spreading fast.

Not one redeeming feature
Could rip you apart wouldn't harm you for the world
Save you from it all leave you there for them to get you
And they won't find my girl, person worth protecting
Her and you'll be there instead already gone already dead
You all shall scream
Won't turn my head

And I'll remember you today
For what you used to be
Days that seem too far away

You're ugly now in every way.


Details | Free verse | |

Silent Love

Am I able to express my feelings
Or shall I seal my lips
In horror with the shredding memories and failures of this heart
Never letting it speak out 
Bottled up with emotions that are stored in the depth of my soul

Is it possible to stop this watch from ticking 
Making my time pause in an infinite world and future
Is this being able to withstand the confusion
As rapid minutes turn into hours and days
Leaving this agony to speak to burst away

Am I able to show how my hurtful soul can be reborn again
Able to love and share the beauty and joy and this magical feeling
Yet I'm reserved to this
scared of the outcome and negativity

Love has  been shown in such  mystical ways
believed to make you float during your lasting days
Or can it tear you apart and bury you in sadness

For I have faith in this love
Even though it has been teared away from me
Allowed to break with the shattering pieces in sadness

Its been hard to see you everyday
Gazing at your eyes
Wishing you knew about mine
I can't react
So I must wait as an echo
Until you open your heart freeing your thoughts
And then I can allow myself to open mine

I could forever wait for this response
Unable to admit my thoughts
So I stay in silence 
For I can't make a sound 
Sealed forever more in the darkness of my heart


Details | Rhyme | |

The Snowman

Encased in ice and frozen
So the world could not break through,
The beating of my bitter heart
Soon faint and thoughtless grew,

And from this frigid, frosty state
A life of snow was born,
So followed through my days was I
By my defence's spawn,

This snowman bore down on me,
Soon becoming my excuse
To withdraw from society,
A self-confessed recluse,

Every day I'd see him there and
He would stand in front of me,
A reminder of my shame and
Self-inflicted misery,

Nobody new could I let in
When chances came about,
For the snowman blocked their entrance
And forever shut them out,

So this fashion continued and
The years passed in a haze,
I was convinced this chill would stay
To curse me for all my days.

Then one day I saw the sunlight
Through the bolted window pane;
Suddenly I heard a cracking sound
And I was once more sane.

Gasping, I clasped my icy heart
Which had begun to thaw
And I collapsed, my mind starting to spin
Before emotions rushed to outpour,

Then the snowman's fury caught me
But I had now begun to weep
And the creature howled and fell,
Keeled over into a heap,

So hot tears came running forth
As I let them fall, and knelt
Over my silent snowman
Who gradually began to melt.

On and on I cried until at last
I had no more tears,
So I stood up and waded out of
The pool of all my fears.

As time went by the pool grew smaller
Until the water cleared,
Then my heart was warm as all
The frozen fright had disappeared.

Now my door is always open
To the good times and the bad,
And my heart holds no more frost or snow
For a creature to be clad.


Details | Lyric | |

.Alone.

you. are not. alone.
with cavernous ceilings closing in,
the impression of depression driving in the direction
of some unreachable goal of controlled insanity
– because always in control are you –
you harp on your uniqueness, your originality,
when in fact you are one of a many,
one of a group,
something you try so hard to deny
as the blood starts staining your hands
and drip, drops on this hallowed ground.
through the watery haze of your righteous tears
your gaze fails to fall on the footprints
of another and another, walking the floor,
their lifeblood draining just as yours.
all around you they sway, scepters
of tragedies pushed away and forgotten,
long forgotten,
as you blindly flail and try not to fall
off this lonely cliff of Last Resort where
you. are not. alone.
you search and you seek 
empathy, apathy, sympathy, any “-pathy”
to ease the pain of these lost, forgotten days,
and yet you miss these hands reaching out
wanting to hold you miss these words
said only to console you miss these eyes
meant to draw you in
and all you see in those eyes is a reflection
of something you’ve tried to deny
and you continue to balance
walking the  lines of chaos, trying not to spin
out, of, control
– because always in control are you –
you try to survive on the bread and bones
 of those come before, but blind you are
to the nature of your food, blind you are
to this world you stumble through
and blame endlessly, releasing you
from the responsibility you are being punished for, and
you. are not. alone.
so dive of your platform of solitary fears
dive into this river of comfortable tears
swim alongside these ghosts of years and years
of tragedies so like yours
let them carry you away from this
cliff of Last Resort and know that
you. are not. alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Home Is Where the Heart Is Stilled

Abandoned places,where
perhaps memories linger,
with wisps of wafting moments,
aware, somehow, even of  the now,
Though long forgotten by all others,
One wonders why, and surely how,
Such strong vibrations of the past,
Seem to time, to have taken a bow...

Gutted building, windows broken,
Creaking, leaking floor,
Last stepped on by the living,
So many, many years before...

Where lives were lived, and
deaths have come in their way,
To others, in a time gone by,
Who here saw their last sad day,
Tears were cried,hearts
were smashed,
Love withered, its flame 
reduced to ash...

Is this a mysterious black hole of time??
A singularity, of now and here...
Where time is not so limpid...
And death is always near,
And fear can swim in the unknown,
The fear of time's mysterious cloud...
As ticks, as tocks, somehow go forever by, 
so mysteriously, and seemingly, oh so loud...

What was the last calendar's  year hung?
The last phone call received,
And who had been the one rung??

Ghost House,
Ghost House,
Scary, time
abandoned place,
Secure in forgotten
nothingness,
And with time, 
you've lost the race.


Details | Rhyme | |

Blood I Swallow

With blood shot eyes, I heed my own cries.
The taste of her will remain, killing the pain.
So much blood I swallow, on death's road I follow.
My ash blows away, yet by her side I stay.
The end is so near, but she still fights my fear.
There is still love, to the stars and above.
I lie in our bed, while she kisses my head.
Your cries for power, leave me to cower.
She said she's mine, we keep love in line.
Your so misguiding, with the time you are biding.
I just want her in my arms, but you have so many alarms.
I want to feel her kiss, thats something i will always miss.
Now I'm suffocating, while everyone is hating.
I will save her, of that I am sure.
She will save me, that is definantly.
We save eachother, away from lifes smother.
It's words of sorrow, that decline me tomorrow.
So much blood I swallow, leaves my heart hollow.
All these things I hate, leaves you so great.
Torn apart by my seams, misery kills my dreams.
Our life was in the right direction, yet sorrow still hangs on.
She starts to cry, I start to die.
You start to lie, I say goodbye.
I love her, I dont care if it is the right thing to do, but I'm sure.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Note

Is there a cure for suicide?
Or is suicide the cure?
Emotion is a boundless tide,
But death is beautiful and pure,
The depression that commands my life,
Is consistent every day,
I hate it but I don’t cause strife,
For it is the only way,
If all I felt in life was death,
Why not end it now and end my pain?
For depression tightens with every breath,
And I’ve got nothing left to gain,
I write this now to bid goodbye,
For no one knows my endless sorrow,
I found the cure which is to die,
I won’t have to make it through tomorrow,
Look at This gun in my palm,
Won’t you Listen to it scream?
I never thought id be co calm,
When my mind is breaking at the seam,
Look at my blood on the wall,
Can you see the thoughts of my mind?
All that I did in life was fall,
And wish god wouldn’t lead me blind,
Look at the boy on the floor,
I put a bullet through his head,
What if I hadn’t closed the door?
And I just tried to go the bed,
Another day living the lie,
Always trying to hide my sorrow,
All that I really want to do is die,
But I always try to make it to tomorrow,
But never again- oh never again,
To him I just committed a crime, 
All that crap about how not to sin,
I proved him wrong for one last time,
Because if I’m dead and I chose to be,
Then I’m going to hell with the beast,
Did god love anyone less than me?
Because that man is surely deceased,
Didn’t god relieve Jobe of his pain,
Depression has always been my life,
I don’t think I can lift this chain,
Or even refuse to use that knife,
If I killed myself- what was gods aim?
God just decided to make me suffer,
Each day for me was never the same,
They all just kept on getting tougher,
But its over now and my pain is eased,
I always felt like I was caught,
I hope that everyone else is pleased,
I bet they never would have thought,


Details | Salaam | |

Yeh khaalipan


Jab Meri Bechaini Mit Jayegi
Jab Mere Dilko Sukoon Mil Jayega
Yeh Khaalipan Mit Jayega

Do Pal Ki Chandni Ke Liye
Aj Bhi Zinda Hoon Main
Meri Khaamoshi Ke Ageh Aasmaan Bhi Khatam Ho Jayega

Kehne Ke Liye Toh Roz Marta Hoon Main
Thoda Aur Marne Ke Liye
Yeh Deewana Kal Phir Ayega


Details | Rhyme | |

A living hell My Agoraphobia

My Agoraphobia.
In 1983 you came back  into my life.
Bringing me nothing, but trouble and strife.
You kept me a prisoner in my own home.
When all I longed for, Was to go out alone.
You caused me pain, you made cry,
I felt so ill, I thought I would die.
From doctor, to doctor, from pillar to post.
Where o where, is the cure I wanted the most?
Where exactly does the answer lie?
Eventually I found it, in a doctor called Di.
She gave me the will to carry on and fight.
I fought so hard, with all of  my might.
The shops in the village seemed so very far away.
If only I could go out, just for one single day.
I tried and tried, the tears, the pain,
It was a battle lose or gain,
I gave it everything, yes everything I had.
It wasn’t easy, in fact, it was very bad.
In 1990, after 7 long years,
A lot of heartache, many, many tears,
I was starting to win the battle of getting out the door,
With each day, I was doing more and more,
But there was still so many things that I couldn’t do alone.
Still so many jobs, that had to be done on the phone.
I could now walk to the shops, there and back,
 get the groceries, take them home, and unpack,
But I still couldn’t get a bus into town on my own,
only if I had someone to go with, borrowed, on loan.
It took several more years, of heartbreak and pain,
Before I could finally travel alone again.
May 2nd  2000, I jumped on a bus and popped into town,
It was just like my world had been turned upside down.
HERE WAS I FREE AT LAST,
Finally free to forget the past.
So I decided to do something I had never done before. 
I started at college part time, each day I couldn’t wait to get out of the door,
To catch my bus, to feel like I had finally rejoined the human race.
Living life at a hectic pace.
Going to college at the age of 53,
Really did do wanders for me.
The computer course was harder than I thought it would be, 
but others in the class helped me.
Our tutor was really nice,
Always ready with good advice.
Now I really feel I have turned my life completely around,
With this new freedom I have found.
With a lot of help, from my husband and son,
The battle is over, finally won.
So its goodbye agoraphobia you belong in the past,
Never again will you get me in your grasp.

This is a true poem of my own battle with Agoraphobia, That robbed me of a lot of my life, 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Hospital Fairyland

THE HOSPITAL FAIRYLAND

They walked together, hand in hand,
Into life’s magical fairyland.
Where there was no trouble, where there was no pain.
Where life could really, begin all over again.
Where were no men in little white coats.
Forcing you all, to stuff drugs down your throats.
Forcing you to do, what you didn’t want to.
Telling you it was all for the best, for you,
People shouting, people crying.
Most of the people talking about dying.
What is this hell, we’ve all come to?
It’s called coming off drugs, we all have It to go through.
Where will it end, what will we do?
None of us really, has a clue.
We are given more pills, we are told, we have to take.
To the men in white coats, life’s a piece of cake.
We are the prisoners, they guard the doors.
Some try to creep out, on all fours.
Into hell and back, we go for a ride.
Eventually if we’re lucky, we come out the other side.
Where we can walk, hand in hand.
Into life’s magical Fairyland.
Where there is trouble, where there is pain.
But at least we can start, living again.


Details | Rhyme | |

Let Him Go

This poem I wrote. I call it " Let Him Go "

Sweetheart don't cry
Don't let him make you feel like your nothing
You do have family even though we are not close by
I know your heart is crushing
Don't harp on the past
Don't let him play with your head
You need to get over him fast
His feelings for you are dead
Over 2 years and you still don't have a ring
Your not the one he calls his wifey to be no more
Take a seat and listen up girl here is the thing
He's playing with your feelings and using you like a two dollar whore
I know you were smart once and can be again
He has you so brain washed it's not funny
I know hearing all this is a strain
Think of the example your setting for you little ones honey
Hold your head high and walk away from that loser mama's boy 
Show him that your the one that is too good for his sorry ass
Hell he's such a mama's boy you can find better pleasure in a toy
Your related to me so come on show your sass 
Let go of the past and look to a new future
Let go of the pain and the control freak
Say bye bye Looser
It will get easier one step at a time week by week......


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 1)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 2 to complete the poem and leave your comments on the Part 2 submission. Thank 
you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain diminished 


Me, Myself, and I...


“There are things that concern us,”
		Consensed my “Selves” in earnest
““We” fear that “I” have succumbed to delusion”

“And after careful deliberation
		It is with much hesitation
That we choose to delineate upon this confusion”


“Fact is your intuition
		Is riddled with superstition
And your judgment leaves much to be desired”

“So you leave us no recourse
		Don’t push us to use force”
It is then that the “I” was summarily fired


I exclaimed “By whose authority?” Response, “Rule of majority”
“The “Myself” and the “Me,” (forthwith the “We”), are experts in our field”

“And with much technique and time
		And some forays into the sublime
The nature of your malady will be revealed”


“So to keep yourself from having a fit
		Step back and just calm down a bit”
“We,” they said, “certainly have this under control”

“We swear this won’t hurt at all”
		Then I felt my inhibitions fall
Still I said a prayer to God that He keep my soul


You know, fact is I do feel off axis
		As evidenced by such parapraxis
As this prose that I, (or is it “Us”), seek to pen

And with my mind feeling numb
		I finally chose to succumb
And allow the “Me” and the “Myself” to begin


And then came questions in a flurry
		Answer, answer and please do hurry
Not one moment of respite did they give

They pushed and they prodded
		With every “T” crossed and “I” dotted
My mind felt like it had gone through a sieve


And all this psycho-analysis
		Is causing my mind paralysis
The questions, can you stop with the questions please

“Yes, oh yes indeed
		I do believe we have what we need
To make an attempt to identify your unknown neuroses”


Details | Acrostic | |

C H A O S

Could I not see such ugly drawn out choices.

Hollow I feel such nothing for people it is fear that feeds me.

Alone in this forsaken world with nothing to accept.

Order is such pain that it is nothing but chains.

Souls that bare nothing but lost cause to confusion is such utter mistakes.


Details | Munaajaat | |

Tell Me

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know

Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know

Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that

You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know

You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me, Help me to understand

You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel

How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door

You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't 
Answer me, you owe me that much



Sabrina Niday Hansel
~Niday40873~

(motif) Spiritual


Details | Elegy | |

The Way It Was

The song starts to play and I start to cry
How can so much hurt come from a song like that?
Once upon a time it used to bring me happiness and laughs
Now all it brings me is sorrow
You were my world and the song was ours
Now you're gone leaving me with nothing but a broken heart
It isn't easy to forget about everything
That song meant so much to me and now it's all been taken away
I had a dream that the song was going to bring us together again
But now, I don't want to listen to the song anymore
The song is a constant reminder of our tragedy and it will always hurt
I've tried to forget but nothing seems to work
I'll listen to that song a million times more
Until the day we are reunited, together forever


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Shunned

Breaking down in the heart and mind.
With all regrets that are truly not kind.
Shocked at people are, so painful to see.
Abused with hated and ecstasy.
Violated and directed with torments
Lost of words or comments.
Hatred gushing out of life long experience.
Reminding yourself to become absence.
Coward and scared to even breathe.
Like the feeling of knives unsheathe.
Sharp but not enough to cut.
Enough to scare like a door that immediately shut.
The hand raised to help you is a lie.
It is a hand that slaps you so you can die.
Rough around the edges.
Crawling in your dreams in ledges.
Powered to stay alive.
You feel people want you to take a dive.
Just stop, and fall down.
Hoping to break your mental crown.
Hiding a feeling that never feels real.
Like shaking hands with demons for a deal.
Blocked out, out of your own story.
Thinking that people are stealing your glory.
Ashamed with fear.
With eyes that are full of tear.
Lost in such hidden romance.
Luck has it seems to be a dance.
Moving around in your head.
With scary thoughts and dread.
Feels like you never leave.
So you feel so many that grieve.
In your mind that is lost.
Full of drama that holds you down in cost.
Keeping in the shadow.
You watch people so shallow.
Gut instinct says that life with them is a muse.
When your just standing your accuse.
Society is just so lame.
Like all the people that are in it your to blame.
Soloing life is a brief.
Walking away is some what a relief.
I dreamed of many things.
With beautiful sorrows of wings.
Wavered in a direction that leads no where.
Escaping everything by a hair.
Pointing into the sky.
And asking yourself why.
The cage is so big.
Just enough to put on a huge rig.
Moving back and fourth.
It feels that your life does not have a worth.
Caned by laws of laughter to deceive.
Shackled up to be bent to your will to receive.
When you hope to hope.
A person can just show you the rope.
They have such friendly hands.
Like the deserts of sands.
Dangerous it is to just keep walking in it.
Lost cannot find your way even a little bit.
Just seem like your heart feels dry.
Then you give up and give a sigh.
That moment that you do is just all a dream.
You are really in a ward you will scream.
Thrust upon you because you could not protect.
So what cost you is this effect.
Warping in to your mind to leave this place.
You feel full of disgrace.
With nothing to drink.
Causing your true self to think.
Grief is such a pain with sorrow to gain.
Looking out in your own rain.




Details | Ode | |

Love is a Sacrifice

You have my soul, but you have your fate Whatever your words, I’m willing to take You have my word; I’ll give you my breath It’s like a chain that would never be break You are my love with all my heart, I’ll fight for you with all my might. And in the way, you admire your goals, You hold my hands, but not so close. As you go to your chosen path, I’ll accept the fact that we will be apart. In the dark side, I leave behind Within my faith, that you’ll arise Please don’t look back, coz I’m fighting still I’m hurting so much! Don’t want to have you near I accept my fate for what it does, I’m bleeding so much, do you know for whom it was? You reach your goals, as you want to have, Would you remind the man that gave what he had? As you reach the stars, and be the one Be a sun that shines its own. After the rain, the rainbow comes, Like dark in the moon, when the light flash A glimpse from you at least a short For then I knew my pain is worth.


Details | Rhyme | |

Goodbye Stranger

The person I see today
so different from yesterday
Its like it wasn't you
It's like it wasn't me
Its as if this is all new
what happened in the past
not a soul knew.

Life happened so quickly
life happened so fast
my heart was once attached

Now I see you
but its not you
Its like it was a dream
I woke up and you were not what you seemed.
Am I the only one that dreamed this dream?

Now when I see you
when I look in your eyes,
all I can see is lies.
All that I believed to be true
everything I saw in you.
Such lies you spewed to me
how selfish you could be.
The words you spoke to me,
the experiences we shared,
are moments in time,
now unreachable, lost in the past.

I see you as I walk by,
I don't understand how you ever made me cry.
I now realize our relationship was a lie.
But this one fact,  I can not deny,
I wanted to believe this lie.
I wanted you to be true.
I wanted to start anew.
I look back now,
I should not have chosen you.

I have nothing more to say.
Maybe the words you spoke to me
will haunt you with the memory of me.

Goodbye to the person I once knew..
Goodbye to all the thoughts of you.


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 2)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 1 first so as to get the true gist of the poem and leave your comments here on the 
Part 2 submission. Thank you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain 
diminished.


Me, Myself, and I... (continued)


“Your, (Or “Our”), symptoms seem to intermit
		And the fact that “You’re,” (“We’re”), a hypocrite
Tis no wonder we’re having such problems with diagnosis”

Then “I” had an idea so grand
		To dispense with this at my own hand
A self-inflicted coup de grace would be my prognosis


So while the “Me” and the “Myself” squabbled
		With courage newly cobbled
“I” spotted the dresser drawer and made my run

With fingers fiercely fumbling
		Whilst they continued grumbling
“I” produced from the depths of the drawer a shiny gun


And now my life, though ill-fated
		Was soon to be vindicated
This would affect us all equally the same

Would be no myself or me
		No you, him, us, or we
But an inclusive all would be to blame


It took me a moment to figure
		Out the safety on the trigger
Then “I,” (or “Us”), prepared to do the dirty deed

Then the barrel found my temple
		And as it settled into the dimple
A still small voice did my “selves” choose to heed


Hence a moment of clarity 
		Harkened me to posterity
And I thought what a legacy to leave behind

“Can’t we all find a way
		To save this miserable day
And avoid a broken body for someone to find”


And then deep within my soul
		I felt and heard a simple drum roll
And the differing sides of me just subsided

And with my mind now as one
		I worked to get this all undone
The whole business of this stuff I derided


And tis now true of fact
		That I survived this ordeal intact
And lived to raise my face unto the sky
 
And here now as it ends
		I find I’ve made good friends
With the “Me”, the “Myself,” and the “I”


Thank you for taking the time to share in my poetry. Please feel free to leave your thoughts 
or comments here on this page. 

J. Scott Burns...


Details | Free verse | |

Agree to Disagree

                                               
                                               Mankind's greatest
                                                 accomplishment...
                                                       
                                                      

                                                      is death.


Details | Lyric | |

This Aint Real

Your face, 
Made a fake smile, (you said)
I love you,
I need you,
I want you just for a while,
You told me,
That I made you smile,
All the things you said to me,
Are just words now,
How can we love,
When you love me for yourself,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus: 2x
What are we doin,
If this love ain't real,
What is this feeling,
That I feel,

I'm broken in emotion,
I'm broken in love, (you said)
I need you,
I want you
You're the only one,
I'm thinkin of, (so tell me)
How can we love, 
When there's always someone else,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus 2x
Bridge:
How can we love,
When there's always someone else,
How can we make up,
When you only love me for yourself,

verse #3:
You got me imprisoned, 
Inside your heart,
When kissed
I felt, Like we,
Would never be apart,
chorus 2x

 


Details | Verse | |

Help Me

HELP ME

When we fight 
I want to run away
But there’s nowhere to go
But down, down, down

Your vicious tongue lashes thru my heart
As you beat me with your soul
And I want to run away 
So far from you and this town, town, town

If I could just tell someone 
I’m just a piece of trash
Would they help me or am I just all alone?
Metal and glass crash. 

I never thought I could hate someone 
Until I met your sadness
Evil never felt so bad. 
You’re driving me too madness

Running, running away from you 
To nowhere lasting
Screaming and nobody hears me 
As my blood pours fasting 

Please save me from this ilk. 
I’m too weak to drink my milk
The time has come and gone my friend
I fear the near is coming to an end…help

Leah
1/30/2013


Details | Narrative | |

Don't Take My Kindness For Granted

You think that you know me
But you don't know at all
Every day you say your sorry
After that I fall
I hate it when you lie
You think your doing good
When all you cause is pain
Just tell me that you hate me
So my life won't be in vein...


Details | Lyric | |

Overcoming Struggle

Overlook a lifetime past
Remember how it did not last
Life changes quickly before your eyes.
This so called reality surrounded by lies.
A sad thought it may seem
I do not want to open  my eyes to another dream.
Real reality set in.
Lets look forward and begin
I am in this game of life to win.
I will not give up and lose.
I will stand tall
even though I am battered and bruised.


Details | Elegy | |

Stranger


My heart egos and my life drained from me
Simple life I live, I act as I know all
But I know not, no, not even a little
I earnestly seek for recognitions
But my life and my heart is a hole.
An empty vessel, soulless, loveless

I have been succumb by the pain of heart aches
I have become a broken man,
Know not what my future holds
I envy those who went before me, who were acknowledge

I hold on to the little shred of hope in me, 
I am being drowned by my own sorrows.
Love, hate, a new beginning and ending of my old self never seems to happen
My wrath against my enemies is nothing for they humor me with insults.
Let not death come to me in misery and despair, 
For life is full of joy and full of sorrows.

Love me, as who would love a stranger from nowhere.
Let my sorrows be taken away by the love of many
But at last, no one would.
Don’t cry for me, for no one knows me
They came before my grave and said “who is this man?”
“Why is the name not written?”
It is not written because I am nothing
Don’t shed a tear for the stranger such as me.

Life is like a dream on a calm sea,
As the captain gracefully steer and gently moves its rudder.
The passenger puts their lives in his hands,
A calm sea is the heaven of any sailor.
“So, where is my captain?”
The wind blows every so gently,
But my heart sinks gently into the sea;
Who will mourn for the stranger?

Drowned from my grief, 
My faith begins to waver like a ship tossed around by the winnowing wind
My heaven, my calm sea turns against me as I sail the Galilean sea
“Where are thy words that calm the raging storm?”
Ay! I have no peace even in my passing.
I have not thy words of command,
For my faith has been tossed away by the hating winds,  
Shallow, empty, and broken I lay here in an unnamed grave.

Only thy mercy will guide me to the third heaven!
Let my sorrows be washed away by the blood of the innocent lamp.
Let thy words be the honey drops for mine, 
As this world knows only lies
Blinded by greed and lust, 
They seek only to destroy of what they fear.
And my sorrows are tossed away by thy promises.
For thy compassion for lost sheep is great.

"Have I found peace?"
I have, for I know my heart is at rest when my body has aged
And my salvation has come
When I died with thy Words of truth


Details | Free verse | |

A Flame Once Burned

It's chilly where the sun once shone,
Mem'ries haunt when I'm alone,
Bereft of joys that I had known,
My dreams all torn apart.

Scorched the earth where flowers bloomed,
The dust and ash my hopes consumed,
Hes'tations, doubts our passion doomed
Ere it had time to start.

I want in vain for solace dear,
It's dark where once the skies were clear,
When naught but what might be I feared
And the course our love would chart.

Promises broken, 
Words unspoken,
Deep wounds opened,
Eyes that cried.

Wrongs not righting,
Constant fighting,
Unrequiting,
Love soon died.

It's cold here where a flame once burned,
It's empty where for you I yearned,
It's dead and life will not return
To the cinders of my heart.



Written for "A Flame Once Burned" Contest
December 1, 2012
By: Daniel Beus


Details | Free verse | |

STILL

I have developed a temporary dislike of the things that I’ve convinced myself have been keeping you away from me. Mere substitutes that admitted to the murder of your mind.

This phone, and this 11 o’clock moon have slayed my reason’s for not just blaming your wandering eye.

Most of these nights I’ve tried Ctrl.Alt.Del.(ing) any ridiculous thoughts, by selecting all of the frequently frustrating things that know just how to push my buttons. I don’t know why I’m speaking in computer terms, but lately I haven’t been able to function quite right unless I’m near one. It’s the only way to get near you.

Most of these nights, this phone has been the entire left side of my brain, but now my mattress has memorized the rhythm to a ringtone it should’ve never been introduced to, and now the stupid cushion keeps me awake until it has made sure that I’ve felt it vibrating up my spine. My intuitive, creative right brain seems to remember being together with it’s brother each and every time I remember laying together beside you.

I wait for a wanting of your wanting. Muscle memories of warm bodies wrapped up in positions that make your mind say ‘what the ****?’ I am missing you. The you who remembers that the other members of her body are always here to help; no need to amputate a listening ear, or an gouge out an attentive eye. I still see you.

Sometimes, I forget that the phone’s main function is to send a signal of information to someone you can’t see. Whether it be via text, twitter app or vocally, you want to reach someone you can’t see. I still see you.

Sometimes, I swear I can see each of the moon’s phases during the day;  completely filled with life during the time when it’s nearly invisible. It’s sad though, because New Moon, you show yourself to everyone else except me on the nights I always expect to see your face. Is this a trick man? or have my eyes been gouged out already, and I simply missed the painful message via text, twitter app or vocally? But still, whether with two eyes, four eyes or no eyes, I still see you.


Details | Elegy | |

The Lament For an Angel

All in one faded-black day (but let None forget) In my arms, her body lay (my life was the price to pay) A tragedy, through the lack of humanly shame (do they know pain) My darkly colleen has to suffer no more (Robert nor do you) Let me die (please hear my haunted cries) If I can not see Sophie tonight (live on with my grey) I'm just a mess of despairing words And broken nerves Another mourning, afflicted sight (through decay, love can remain) Solace, sympathy are just more lies She is all I need Until you decide she is just another sadist's toy My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away (My body is amortal, die I may, Together, our hearts will forever stay)


Details | Elegy | |

Raindrops and Teardrops


Details | Ballad | |

Broken Dreams

  Do you believe in the things that you've always known,
Can you understand the things you've been shown.
   Is it the visions you see that make you believe,
Or is the feelings you get when you've been deceived.
    The pain you feel a never ending ache ,
Tearing your heart and soul from you every day.
    Time ticks slowly pounding away at you,
Throbbing heart breaking and there's you can do,
    Must I settle for these lost and broken dreams,
Because it has all the signs that what it seems.
    How much should a man endure to find his way,
It cant possibly be like this hard for me every day.
    There is nothing so frustrating as being so confused,
Especially when you've discovered that you've been used.
    I will get through this lonely phase I have no doubts,
But I'm sure there will come a day I'll figure it all out.
    Cautiously I walk the path that's been laid before me,
In faith I will continue for I know he will let me see.
    Life will be thrown at you in so many different ways,
I will be prepared for these things for the rest of my days.
    Broken dreams will be the learning tree for me to grow ,
Living my life with Joy Happiness is what I'll always Know.
tac


Details | Free verse | |

Weighed Down

I let the breeze whisper to me,
I want to smile, but I can’t
because tears want to flow,
but can’t

Just have this feeling that 
somewhere, somehow,
something
has died…
or at the very least,
is withering

and I don’t know
whether I can be there 
on time to stop it 
from dying?

Of whether I can resuscitate
it back to life…
might be too late though,

because damage has been done
Oxygen has already been lost

sad, really 

so the weight is there
and I can’t shrug it off.

The tears still don’t want to fall.
Such defiance.

So I just close my eyes.
Maybe, tomorrow,
the sun will shine again.



05032011745p750


Details | Alliteration | |

Cheater's Chair

A destructive dance indeed,
betwixt the two we bleed.
A bellowing, bloody abate,
this stale, seductive state.

Simple, senseless steeds,
jealous fires feed.
Perjuring petty plights,
demons do delight.

A crimson, cheaters chair,
awful angers air.
No trust, truth or taste,
wallowed wantons waste.

Envious, eager eyes,
rejoicing a wrathful rise.
Coveting, careless couth, 
yesteryear's eager  youth.


Details | Pantoum | |

They Took Away My Innocence

They took away my innocence—
A child, but merely two years old.
My soul left with ambivalence;
I hate myself as I grow old.

A child, but merely two years old—
Abandoned, glossed over, abused.
I hate myself as I grow old;
Completely left confused and used.

Abandoned, glossed over, abused—
Why would a person hurt a child?
Completely left confused and used—
Naïf, so trusting, meek, and mild.

Why would a person hurt a child?
My soul left with ambivalence—
Naïf, so trusting, meek, and mild.
They took away my innocence.

	



Details | Personification | |

This Day

This is a day that I could have really done without,
Saying you love me and do this to me hurts no doubt.
   Day  after day I pray that you will please stop,
What pain you've caused me has taken all I've got .
   I love you and adore you but it seems not to matter,
Still you continue to hurt me leaving my heart shattered.
   You come to me with words I have only  dreamed ,
But what they were meant for was to hurt me it seems .
    Never  have I seen a woman with so much hate ,
Taking revenge on me by disrespecting me till it hurts.
    True I have  waivered with my troubles with trust,
The one thing thats important and this is a must.
     There are no more words or sayings that will ever work,
I have tried everything  I know giving it all that its worth .     
     To the day I die I will never understand why ,
The woman I love does everything to make me cry .
     So this my dream to be forever with you ,
Is only nightmares for me  and dying is all I can do.
     This a day I surely could do without.
TAC


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Rhyme | |

Thoughts That Grow Louder

With a whispered thought comes a dream
To be above the shame and guilt
Of losing pride in what would seem,
To most, the whole of what we built.

With a quiet thought comes the fear,
And shadows close the doors of reason.
I see racing frames of pictures clear, 
Rendering unbearable deeds of treason.

With that clear thought, I stand corrected-
So much love has come and gone,
But I, alone, must stay connected 
To what I know and where I belong.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

All Day Long

All. Day. Long.

I sit there, in my chair, All. Day. Long. 
Glaring at people I hate. 
The people who are but mere memories.
Mere dust in the wind.

All that I know has blown away, 
taken by my faulty actions.
The dull replay of Meteora fills my room with lyrical insanity, 
tempting me with beat and anger. 
But I’ve realised it’s not the music that’s dull.
It’s myself. I am dull. 
 Dull, empty, detached, dead. 
My actions have caused this, my mental instability.

My arms and wrists, they’re crisscrossed with faint pink patterns,
the product of my attempts at reattachment and relief.
Eternal smiles of violet beneath my eyes, wrinkles surround my lips. 
My skin, yellow from the drugs, reflects weakly the sunlight from outside.
I blame everyone but myself, my personality rotten to the core.
My lungs, as well, shredded by smoke that acted like needles.

I couldn’t help myself, I jest in my mind. 
I’ve been trying to shove the blame onto something but myself, 
only to find there is nothing to blame but myself.

My body has been wracked to this state, 
a state well beyond my mere 29 years. 
My mind, hanging from a cliff. 
Threatening to free fall at any moment. 

As I sit there, in my chair, 
memories of an age long gone from my life flash before my eyes.
 A girl I loved, laughing.
 Her and I lying in the grass, at a lake’s edge.
A cat akin to night, eyes green as mine, purring softly in my lap.
Flashes of guns, from a war forgotten by all but me. 

As I reminisce these memories, a spark of feeling—pain.
Upwelling in my gut.
 Through my chest.
 Stabbing into the side of my head.
The pain triggers a new wave of recollection. 

Again, the girl. My mind so foggy I can’t remember her name. 
Dancing slowly to a song no longer heard of. 
Snow. A blush of the cheeks. Hands in mine, warming and comfortable.
The pain in my head intensifies, blinding me. 
I fall from my chair, the first time I’ve moved all day. In 2 days.

Shaking my head, I pull myself up. Standing, I look around. 
Another flash of pain, followed by a sensation I’d all but forgotten.
Her lips. At dusk. The very first time.
I stumble away from an unseen being, crashing into the wall. 
Blinking my eyes furiously, I right myself. 
Waiting a moment, I sit back down. 
And let the dullness take over, the pain ebb away, 
and the memories to replay.
All. Day. Long.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Hurricane with an Eye of Pain

A force so hard
And colder than cold
No matter how you guard
It'll make a building fold

You can try to run
You can try to hide
There'll be no sun
You'll go down with the tide

The eye is suppose to be calm
But this one is full of rain
You can try to recite a psalm
But you'll only feel pain

No one can save you now
It's time to feel the hurt
Take your last bow
And fall to the dirt

The anger you couldn't contain
Has caused you endless rain
This isn't a normal hurricane
It's filled with pain

Written on August 3, 2012


Details | Free verse | |

The Wall, The Wall

The Wall, The Wall

I
the world fades from my fingertips
like blood oozing from an open wound
the sky is ripped apart and full of thunder
and my eyes are twisted in pain

shut the door and lock me within
the light is buzzing and flickering
something is about to explode
or maybe thats just my soul

softly touch the wall and it corrodes
the white paint peels and turns black
and cracks appear on the surface
a garbage touch that ruins it all

for years the signs of ruin were there
building up behind fragile white walls
and now i sit here with an open chest
my heart nailed to the damned wall

and as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood from an open wound
the sky outside is bloody and tormented
and i cant begin to see my own reality

II
im so afraid that if i get up ill fall again
damned by the ghosts of the past
the flashing glare of reality looms larger
closing in on me and slapping me

if only someone could open the door
and let me out of this foreboding room
perhaps i could see more than whats inside
instead of slicing myself in half

remember it was your verse that ended me
slicing off my fingers one by one
it was when my heart was nailed to the wall
that i truly forgot how to feel

my sickening screams echo loudly
throughout the confines of my own mind
reverberating down my spine
and leaving me in a shivering fit

as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood pouring from an open wound
the sky outside has faded to a deep black
and i cant begin to see my own reality


Details | Acrostic | |

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!


Details | Rhyme | |

Angella

O’er this land I roam
Eternally through sorrow
Escaping thy ‘morrow
Seeking thine home

Pocketed tools, head hung low
Stones kicked roll swift
They flee thee as on I go, bereft

Woeful and yes full brimmed regret
Tears nay neither sweat nor dew
I would shed existence for you


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

The Rememberer

She sits and glances out the window gray
The glass just mocks and fogs her weary eyes.
The dancing candle fails to light her way
As darkness causes heavy, weary sighs.

But memory just shades her vision more.
A cloak of lies, like ice, then stuns her heart.
Her weak and weary feet won't leave the floor,
The window tears her wilting soul apart.

The sun once lit her flowing, golden hair,
And moon once filled her eyes with silver light,
But past has killed the gold that once was there
And now, her eyes are darker than the night.

The days, we say, have worn away her life.
But she doth know that t'was her foolish strife.


Details | Narrative | |

A Land Bearing Green White Green

Which way leads to the 
land of green white 
green?
Which way are we 
heading?
   A country the wicked 
bears the rulership, and 
the people sighing 
continuously.
   A terrible thing sprouts 
beneath the sun: a 
pregnant woman 
delivering not.
Imps come to lime-light 
by snuffing air from the 
goose that laid the 
golden eggs.
The blind guiding the un
blind.
The weak suppressing 
the strong-a terrible 
thing.
Like the overthrow of the 
gods at Mt. Olympus by 
the Titans.
A country where also 
thieves appear as men of 
integrity.
Land of green white 
green,which way?
A land where the 
enlightened ones are 
overshadowed and 
peanuts given to them.
The masses are dogs that 
eat the crumbs.
 Which way to go you 
Land?
Iliterates stand on 
podium of power 
bellowing orders as milk 
of sorrow known as 
dividends of democracy 
is passed around.
The machine of progress 
manned by the 
unproductive.
"There is better 
tomorrow" we hear.
Land of green white 
green,my country 
where rule of law walk 
beside anarchy.
The proles are sentenced 
to adversity,and there 
endured death-like trials.
Chai! Aru! People 
dancing on thorns 
whimpering as they 
throng 
along.
  I see a new sun rising 
from the horizon,hope is 
rekindled as its rays 
grace on hopeless bodies.
 Look!! there soon be 
change!



Note: 
This 
is 
poem 
full 
of 
Nigeria 
political
 angst.


Details | Narrative | |

Midnight Again

Its midnight again, TV on
The sofa becomes my bed
As the confusion of our lives
Fills my weary head

At times I drift off
And think of days gone by
How I yearn for yesterday
So bad it makes me cry

Other times I feel just like a kid
With something new to share
And you put your soul around me 
And tell me how much you care

At times I think its working
Like I’ve finally met the mark
And all too quickly it ends
And I’m alone, on the couch, in the dark

Why can’t it all be the way it was
That day on top of the hill
Am I really as bad a person 
As you can make me feel


Inside I try so hard
Outside it seems I don’t
I want to meet your needs
But I don’t know what you want

I try to be your husband
Your lover and your friend
Somehow I never am
And I find myself here again

I try to be a father
But those efforts just backfire
Somehow I manage to destroy
Everything that I desire

I ask myself, “Is it worth it?”
Why don’t I start anew
And after hours of contemplation
Just one answer, “I love you”

And resolved to that end
I lay my heart to sleep
And I pray the lord
Our souls together he will keep

A silent kiss to you and the kids
In hopes of a better day
As I close my eyes to dream
And let my troubles drift away 


Details | Couplet | |

Goodbye Granddad

Gravity pulls my tears into pools.
Im sinking in sorrow -emotional fuels. 

Just turn back the time, I just want a moment. 
To say goodbye once, to cherish and own it. 

I loved my granddad - a man more than great.
Paired with my Granny as the perfect mate. 

A montage of memories that rush my soul.
My eyes fill with tears, I'm losing control. 

Just keep it together, it's what he would want. 
They all say the same, but I stand in front. 

Happiness swells, yet sadness prevails.
Like Christ on the cross, with hands full of nails. 

Life has a reason, and death isn't treason.
-It's moving on up.. A lifetime's a season. 

I look to the sky and say my goodbye.
The time won't turn back, I gave it a try. 

I close my eyes and imagine this-
Paradise in a place full of bliss. 

World peace in a piece of the world.
Without loss and bombs never hurled. 

Snow that falls that doesn't freeze.
Sun that shines that doesn't cease. 

A land where "The forever" is real.
A scene where the sick always heal.

Life with infinite love, like gusts in the wind.
Two little doves, with eternities to spend. 

God has a plan, fool-proof to the core. 
Now Granddad's with him, a reward of much more. 

-Yours Truly


Details | I do not know? | |

Coaster Of Emotions

The man I fell in love with is a man who has more than one side
Sometimes I have too just cross my fingers and strap on for the ride
There are times when he is funny and does nothing but make me giggle
Then there are times when he makes my toes curl and wiggle
There are times he comes home angry and takes it out on me
I try to understand there are going to be times where that’s how it is going to be.
Sometimes he snaps when he is real bored.
That's when I have to be patient and pray to the lord 
I don't think he always sees how much he means to me.
How deep in my heart I know we're meant to be
I know each day with him is like a roller coaster ride
My feelings about him I will not change or hide
Strap in it’s a new day, here we go again. 
Up, up, on top
I can see the world 
Down make it stop
Round the curve, ahh missed that fight
Whew
What days not over yet?
Oh no...
Ok strapped in all set
Hold on tight here comes another turn
Bump bump bump the coaster goes on the track of life
I can feel the anger make my heart and hope burn
All I ever wanted was to be his wife
Up it goes again high high high 
It's now Friday night and we just started another fight
I can hear him sign 
Down its going again
This time I'm holding on with all my might
Coaster of emotions your ride is not fun at all. 
Coaster of emotions you want me to weep in sorrow
Coaster of emotions I will not fall 
I'll stay strapped in and take the ride again tomorrow.


Details | Rhyme | |

Tainted Butterfly

This is my life, don't you see Pure jealousy has taken over me My wings clipped and my neck broken The demon inside of me has awoken You left me heart and soul for the last time Your words spoken as I caused the true crime My body dies down and the cold breaks me down Once upon my head, now on the ground a shattered crown My lungs seize to take in more air But i tell myself... he doesn't care... I take my last breath and close my eyes My heart says goodbye to the mournful cries They all stand around and look down at me there Some say I deserved it, some say is was unfair An untimely death was one I was destined to behold But this death was certainly... the most utterly cold Hand placed upon my chest and my body dressed all in black The memories of my in their hearts begin to lack Lowered below the ground my body is taken Never again for the butterfly to awaken


Details | Elegy | |

Where are you

You flourished and blurred
like a spark on wind

Gracefully and quickly like a frightened hind
in pursuit of light

You harvested through bushy meadows
taken by blight

In struggle with plight
had you lost your might

And gave out
although never you gave up.

Where are you?
For you must be still there.

For I still can feel you
somewhere in the air.


Details | Rhyme | |

Brain chemistry of love

You are nucleus and I am an electron -
I am orbiting you ever since you were born.

Wherever you are baby and whatever you do
I cannot touch you but I can feel you and see you.

Sometimes you make my brain’s chemistry wild -
That’s why my heartbeat goes crazy from mild.

However I can’t hold you any closer
And certainly you never seem to bother.


Details | Verse | |

Home of the Slaves

Land of the free
Home of the slaves
The blood, sweat and tears of my ancestors resonate
Amongst the soil where they were slain
I’m hearing their struggle
I’m feeling their pain
I can’t imagine being forced to part from my family
All for massa’s gain
So I pay homage to those who promoted change

People like every slave who tried to escape
Nat Turner, Ms Carlotta, Harriet Tubman
And the safe houses who were in accord
And peg leg Joe with his song
Follow the drinking gourd.

People like, the disregarded - those thrown overboard
And who was dismissed and defamed
The ones who were stripped of their soul, their pride, their names

The list could go on  
The full will never be told
So I pay homage to others who were bold
Like John Brown, The Freedom Riders, Sojourner Truth
Ida B Wells, Phyllis Wheatley, Maya Angelou, 
Langston Hughes and Charles Drew

George Washington Carver, Ruby Bridges
Booker T Washington and Mary McCleod Bethune
Charles Houston, Ralph Bunche, Fredrick Douglass
WEB Dubois, Paul Robeson, Ralph Abernathy
Benjamin Banneker, Marcus Garvey and Crispus Attucks
Who’s death by the way
Symbolized the American lie
You cant declare the rights of all men
While the people of African decent rights get denied
But still we rise

Thanks to Dr Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, 
The Black Panthers, the Buffalo Soldiers and Tuskegee Airmen
None who were showed any love
Yeah it’s an uphill battle, 
But obviously greatness can be done.

We can rise above this stigma 
That blacks are lazy and daunting
That our worth is null and void 
And in essence minus nothing
And of all the names mentioned 
And the greatness of their successes
No one has been able to erase the evil transgressions of a racist mind
And once you have experienced just a taste of it
It changes your perception of time
The oppression beats like the drum on the chariot
Of when it was finally time to escape to freedom
It's mine


Details | Free verse | |

Final Adieu

Final Adieu

Let another sun set,
Let another flower wilt,
Let another autumn cast its gloom,
Let another tear role,
As ye part, and bid
The final adieu.

Suyash Saxena
St. Stephen’s college


Details | Ballad | |

You're Just A Stranger

Why do you despise me
why can't you let me be,
how come you always pestering me.
How come you can not see
I am beginning to turn my love away from thee
Just as you are turning your hate on me.

I proceed biting my words back 
and just nodding my head
you think i am the one to blame
but you'll end up losing me instead.
I try to talk to you, but you
cut me out and shut your ears
where will this get us
in fifteen or so years.
 
You bring down the pressure
while i try to do as you say
Only until i lose, you win
will you stop yelling and walk away.

Here i sit, expressing my stress on paper
only hoping tomorrow will bring
something better
and that i won't lose my life forever.
Please forgive me 
for this paper may be wet with tears
I know this is a stage in life,
I pray will pass in a few years. 

As i write my anger fades
but when i think about you it returns
I hope we both learn from this
For I may lack empathy
but you are always so very stern.
It seems everything I do
has gotten on your nerves
And I know you don't hold it inside
For your anger does surly splurge.

Tonight you have taken my phone
and cut me off from my friends I truly need
your words hit me hard,
and to you I can not plead.
Someday I may realize
what you did was probably right
I will try to understand,
I will try with all my might.
But until that day
or until through my eyes you see,
You are still a stranger
You're just a stranger to me.

Nov. 21. 2011


Details | Rhyme | |

The Social Norm

Drink the drink, and take the pills, lay on the medication.
But your soul's forever lost to them without persistent dedication.
There's things we've learned, and things we will, to decide us right from wrong.
But your ears are only open, now, to a techno-logic song.
Social norms have bound you tight, then cut you awf'ly deep.
And still your soul beneath the surface begs of you, relief.
You waded in their welcome waters, thought it nice and cool
But now I'm sure you've figured out you're lost in sorrows pool
So take it from who knows you best
Someone who has passed this test:

Before you drift out in the sea And the shore's no longer in your view, I promise that I'll bring you back And if I can't, I'll follow you. Before your legs and arms grow weak And you've passed your final tier, I promise that I'll hold your hand; I promise you I'll still be here. Before your lungs are filled with water And our souls are parted once again, I promise you that you're forgiven; I promise you I'm still your friend. Before you close your sunken eyes Inviting night to kill the day Know your bright was never slight And soon you'll see your way.


Details | Lyric | |

The Yoke Of Frankenstein

I seek a place that leaves no trace
Of venomous blood and tainted heart
I seek a place that holds only grace
Of righteous hearts and caring thoughts
I seek a place that broods not on hate
But of a tranquilized soul and an intellectual eye
I seek a place that is haven to a guilt-filled heart
Let it not, Oh! Wretched Passionate heart!!
Let me not succumb to such ardency
Let me not, dear god! Yield in to such tyranny
To extract such murky ardor is all I ask
I dine with seething lassitude brought forth by such a task
Dear nature where has it gone, my obliged gratitude 
From you, I have averted a heart
That comes to you now seeking! Asking! Groveling! For pardon
Almighty nature, which once has soothed a brute within me
Please! Dear god! I beg thee do not forsake
I come to you humbly meekly seeking an unfeasible amnesty
For I drown in to the abyss of thirst of farfetched enlightenment
And only now I know“how dangerous is the acquirement of knowledge, and how 
much happier that man is who believes his native town to be the world, than he who 
aspires to become greater than his nature will allow.”

*Inspired by Frankenstein’s tormented conscious *


                                                                                                    ~M.M.M


Details | Rhyme | |

Be The Man

So much yelling all around me. How much more can I take?
I can act like nothing's wrong, but then my actions are fake.

I always try to be the man and just look the other way.
Their's no one to turn to, so I kneel down and pray.

Thank the lord for the good things and the strength for the bad.
Thank the lord for my blessings and all the good times I've had.

All my worries then stop. Long enough just to see...
Stop worrying about other lives, and start thinking about me.

So, I lift up my head. Wipe the tears from my eyes.
Hope to forget all the screams and try to look past the lies.

Dress up my best. It's time to show em, I can.
No more drama. No more games. This time I'll be the man.


Details | Narrative | |

My Hidden Fear

People are my weakness and hidden fear
I just feel that some words they say set me in tear
For example I gave a person a smile one day and they gave me a glare
I did not know that smiling in the world today cause people to stare
These types of stare gave me chills down my spine a feeling that made me blind
Why? why is my weakness the people who are very unkind
Hiding is all I can do when people give me a unkind view
I get to a point that my fear seems to wonder and stew
People are who they are and what should I even do
I don't understand that they are evil and some times nice too
My hidden fear are people just because they are always around
That is no argument and my feeling are perfectly sound
The hate builds up in my mind, but does not bother, how my heart feel
I learned to undergo a change that my feelings become like steel
Hard as it should be in situations needed I forget how to use it
So it becomes my weapon and it is to some people heartless just a bit
My hidden fear is what I see in people today
They harm others and they think it is okay
That is why I fear my feelings for others at times because it is so confusing
My hidden fear is some what bad and some what a blessing


Details | Light Poetry | |

Running Away

Packing bags and leaving home 

Running into the darkness of 
night like a criminal

No destination

Just an escape into freedom 
from the nightmare

Just feeling the sunlight’s breath 
on my cheek freely

A winds whisper touching my 
ears

Running away from dreams and 
wishes

Setting an adventure of a 
lifetime

Running away from the past 
where horror lies

Running away from lullabies and 
thunder

Forgetting everything for awhile 

And sit down and breathe in and 
out for awhile

Smelling the freshness of life 
that will no longer exist


Details | Rhyme | |

If I Had One Wish

So many thoughts come to mind If only I could really go back in time Change or undo my life’s violent and sexual crimes Tell those around me to open their eyes Pay Attention to the signs If only one wish could really rewind Those pedophilic hands of my life-time… Then I stopped and started to think Who would I be if this didn’t happen to me? What of the woman I’d come to be The wisdom I’d come to see And my children who’s lives are abuse free As a result of my past… my history… Now, with eyes wide and mind free Heart pounding, air, LOVE and life in me Blessed with children to change my legacy, Equipped with words and strength to share my story… my poetry I’d wish only to open the eyes of the blind The mouths of the abused and the hearts of our society… I’d make them see… I’d make them see So no other child has to end up like me… Lay
** For the "If I Had One Wish Contest"


Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | Free verse | |

More Snippets

I. Bleeding -- a world without comfort -- lost without love -- no destination... silently walk without touching wounds... where is love? II. Frail fingers grope... sodden afternoons... winter fog... through gray eternity -- cold eyes, delicious mouth. Found love will laugh, desire returning. III. Making love, we deceived ourselves. Complicitors, we lied. Compliant pawns, we defied danger, practiced brilliant fabrication -- but truth was stranger. IV. Others know desire: ever changing years -- and lifetimes -- reaching towards the moon. Love, be my way.


Details | I do not know? | |

Well how do you feel

In high school everything changes
Teachers, friends, you, 
“That’s just life” they say,
And they never stop to ask
“Well, how do you feel?”

And your friends leave, and your grades decrease,
And your teachers begin to worry,
And they make you see a shrink,
But they never stop to ask,
“Well, how do you feel?”

The sky starts to crumble,
And the tears begin to fall,
And music and hoodies become your best friends,
And they never stop to ask,
“Well, how do you feel?”

And the tools come out.
And the objects fall apart,
And you reach for the closest one,
And the ask, finally,
“Well, how do you feel?”

But by now it’s too late.
Your time is up, your blood’s run out,
Your scars show for the world to see,
Cause they asked too late,
“Well, how do you feel?”

“She was so young” they all say,
But really you were old.
You’d seen so much and hurt so much,
It was time for you to go.

So you picked up the pills and washed them down
And grabbed the blades and cut
And when they finally noticed you weren’t around
It was too late you were gone.

They found your letter on the bed
And read it out at school
“You asked to late, but I don’t blame you.”
And your friends were moved to tears. 

In your tree house in the yard
They found you pale as snow
Your eyes closed, a smile on your face
And they realized you were gone.

They roll up your sleeves and roll up your pants
And scream at what they see
Lines, and lines, and lines of cuts
Some healed and some not.

And they realized they should have asked in the beginning
How you felt that is, cause, 
Honestly you didn’t, 
You didn’t feel anything at all. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear little sister from another mister

You’ve been thrown left and right,
Crying to yourself every night,
Thinking all has gone wrong,
& you won’t be giving up after long..
You’ve been heartbroken 
One
Two many times:
From old boyfriends,
To lies;
Father walked out,
Baby killed by mistake;
Your mom has disowned you,
But she still shows you lust…
Everybody knows the truth,
The pain that you do not choose;
They see what you show,
But see me…
I, T’Keyah Wilder,
I already know…
You’ve raped and thrown from left to right;
Crying to yourself every night;
Everybody saying they understand,
But you know you’re the only
One who knows your pain ;
On this land…
It’s a matter of time, 
Before you kill yourself,
Stressing yourself,
Hurting you and everyone else;
Blaming yourself for,
Mistakes not purposely made;
Crying every time you feel like you just got 
Laid,
You want the true love,
Love shown from the heart;
Honestly,
Coming from your big sister; 
I think you need a fresh start,
Easing your pain with nicotine;
I’m surprised you’re not 
Sippin lean…
I know it may be hard,
To forget about the past,
But there’s one thing;
I must ask from you and I 
Want this to last;
Promise me, you’ll try your best
To stress less,
& pray more…
Listen to God;
Put him above…
All;
We’re not close like we used to be,
But you know I’m just a phone call,
Away…
Not far from you..
But I wish you’d  realize,
This too…
Stressing is not working,
Cause death, the devil, lies,
& fear are lurking..
Promise me;
You’ll try to be the best you can be…
Dear Little Sister from another Mister!
<3 RiP auntie bby ; djF .


Details | Rhyme | |

The Doctor Is A Dead Man Walking

Bob had a special talent
That only worked in his men’s store.
He had ‘clothing ESP’.
He knew what his customers wanted…and more.

When customer would come into his store
Bob would invariably say, 
“Hello. I'm Bob. Don’t say a word.
I already know what you need today.”

And he was always right,
Never missed a color, fabric, style or size.
He even knew the necessary alterations.
Customers couldn’t believe their ears and eyes.

Meanwhile, in another part of town,
Joe had a pounding, relentless migraine
For every minute for more than five years,
It had driven him near insane.

He’d lost his job to the pain.
Then, he lost his wife.
He had lost a lot of weight and rarely slept.
Yes, his was a miserable life.

And, of course,  sex was out of the question…
Even a little self-abuse.
There was nothing left for Joe but pain.
He felt his life was of no use.

So, Joe went to his doctor.
“Doc, please help me end this pain.
Give me something to make me sleep
And never wake up again.”

“You know I can’t assist your suicide.”,
Then he looked sad, perhaps ashamed.
“I never dreamed it would last five years,
But I know how to end the pain.”

“You can make it go away?!
Tell me, Doc!  What’s the word?”
“I’ll have to remove your testicles.”
Was the last thing that Joe heard.

But…when he came to, it struck him.
Sex was out of the question anyway;
But he might enjoy his meals again,
And he could sleep for days.

“Please check me in, Doc.
This opportunity I cannot shirk.”
So, the doctor removed his testicles.
He did his very best work.

A few days later, Joe waddled along,
Headache free and feeling pretty nice;
But every attractive woman he saw 
Reminded him of his sacrifice.

He decided it was appropriate
To do something nice for himself for a change.
So, he went into a travel agency;
And a six month cruise he arranged.

As he left the travel agency,
He was excited, feeling ready to go;
But for such a glorious adventure,
He would need new clothes.

As he walked along, he saw Bob’s Men's Store.
He walked in, only to hear Bob say,
“Hello.  I’m Bob. Don’t say a word.
I already know what you need today.”

“How could you know?” asked Joe.
“It’s a gift.  I don’t know how, but I do.
You’ve suffered five years with an ailment,
Found relief, so now you’re taking a cruise.” 

Joe could not believe his ears.
How could this stranger possibly know?
"You're right! That's amazing!
And I'm going to need new clothes." 

Bob then laid out a fabulous wardrobe
All the right colors, fabrics, styles…and each size.
Joe was incredibly impressed.
He could hardly believe his ears and eyes.

“How do you like the wardrobe?”
“It’s wonderful!”  Bob could see that Joe was pleased.
“Now,” said Bob, “What about undergarments;
You know…shorts and tees?

Let’s see…medium crew neck tees, all cotton.
I believe that you prefer white….
And jockey shorts, all cotton…. 34s.
Yes, I'm sure that’s right.”

Joe beamed, “You’re an amazing talent
And I just this second realized,
You've laid out this entire wardrobe
And only missed one size.”

Bob, surprised by his mistake, asked, “Really?
What did I miss?  I did my best for you.”
“Well…you’re right.” said Joe, “I do wear Jockeys,
But…well…I wear 32s.

“Oh, no!” said Bob with an ugly grimace.
“That would be a serious mistake.
Thirty-twos would be too small, 
They would cramp your balls.
You’ll get migraine headaches.”


Details | Rhyme | |

The Park -- Part One

Pigeons flutter in the park
eating refuse from the grass.
Noon comes; the hours pass.
Leaves fall; the sky grows dark.
Silence reigns throughout the park.
A crumpled headline, a forgotten toy,
lifeless, do not hear a far-off bark.
In the park, not a single little boy.
Midnight comes; the hours go --
soon, the sky begins to glow...
morning breaks, and with it, sound.
In the park begins the morning round.
White skeletons of benches -- slats --
in all the wintry parks of Age
fill up in morning. Deserted flats,
each with the aspect of a cage,
become an unused, waiting gauge
that measures dull and wasted years --
floods of loneliness -- rivers of fears...
The weak and battered, pallid crowd
which, daily, parks ingest
speak in muted tones; but loud
is the message all suggest.
The clangor of the beaten Belles,
trampled in the slime of years,
entreats the mind to plug its ears;
yet, if it will, it hears...
memories, perhaps, keep active still
the shriveled and the loosened flaps
that are the mouths of all the Bills --
reduced to gray and ugly gaps...
Down the graveled pathways come
children bent on carefree play.
Belles, though silent, are not dumb,
nor will the Bills forego their say.
But warnings fall on ears too deaf;
around are eyes too blind to see.
And so the tots, too young for Death,
play on and on till time for tea.
Day after day after day
children come and children play.
Pigeons flutter in the park;
Leaves fall; the sky grows dark.
Once more, deep silence claims the park.
Midnight hours come and go.
The sky again assumes a glow.
Wind stirs dead leaves to rustle.
Starts again the aimless bustle
of the battered, weak, and infirm-eyed:
those whom living failed -- who died
but still must play their signal role
of unloved, friendless, unhailed Old;
who gather daily in the park
to envy tots their vital spark --
the hope, the promise in their eyes --
before it fades, before it dies.
But tots at play -- the young, the bold --
must laugh and sing -- cannot be told
that youth's not long and Time is cold.
Time devours -- a ravenous beast --
and men are the courses at his feast.
Some he swallows in their prime,
 On some he waits too long a time:
 these rancid morsels, Time's midnight snack,
explore their memories. They hie them back
 to that old moment, deepest black, 
when they first dared to know -- and first said --
that Time's the master all men dread.
(Please read The Park -- Part Two, which is a continuation of
this poem...due to space limitations)


Details | Sonnet | |

A Nightmare

A nightmare that always lurks in my mind
A jumble of thoughts I cannot fathom 
Making me distorted, confused, and blind
My monsters are chanting their own anthem
Over again I can no longer bare
They drag me down to terrifying depths
But it leaves me grasping at the air
Choking me, taking away all my breaths
I'm screaming but there is no one around
I'm scared of failure, just simply nervous
They say they can fix me, but I can't be found
I'm starting to think trying is worthless
And as I awoke from my horrid dream
I realize no one is who they seem.


Details | Romanticism | |

A Flower's Funeral

A sweet flower's funeral
displayed in the cold months
of snowy weather and bone chilling shivers.
A sweet flower burned away, dried up;
buried six feet under.

Oh, my sweet flower,
how you once bloomed with no remorse,
like a madman blooming with beauty
and a glorious halo over your head
shinned with such power and blinding glory.

Oh my sweet flower how you have gone now,
resting in peace in the land of paradise.
Oh, my heart it is weak when I see your face,
of once beautiful smiles and warm embraces.
I can hear your crying out to be free.

Snowing and bone chilling cold ripes at my soul
and feelings of sorrow rage through my blood,
boiling my hatred to the world, for losing your
sweet and ever glorious beauty.

What I would give away, if I could be with you
one last night, one last night together
to hold you in my arms, to smell your sweet perfume
that brings back sweet memories of you and I.
What I would do to be with you,
such romance travels through my heart in the highways
of my veins in my body, love is all throughout me,
and my heart breaks when pictures of you start to collect dust.

My love for you, my sweet flower,
is still ingering through the air,
as I travel and look upon a tombstone
which shows your beautiful name.

Come to me my dear flower,
when spring comes,
come to me my dear, sweet flower.
And bloom once again,
twice as large as last year,
and ten times more beautiful then last year.
Come to me in the first months of spring
in my dreams, so I could sit and talk with you.
I miss you already,
and my heart crys,
my eyes flood with tears of sorrow.
I miss our love we shared.
Long walks,
cosy talks,
warm cuddling embraces
and beautiful displayed in a picture frame.
Now I hear the tapping of raindrops on my window pane.
That is all that keeps me company,
that and the rose you gave to me
and a picture of you and me.
Love is endless, even when blue eyed Death comes to visit
and play a game of chess with us,
we all play our game, my love.
I shall go tonight
in my sleepy slumber
and dream of you in the times of our height in our love for each other.
My lost love, you are gone, resting in paradise,
but never forgotten my sweet flower.

-10/6/2013-


Details | Sonnet | |

Without You

Define your lovely, soulless heart in death
 To take my heart would be a risk; a storm
 You licked your lips to taste what i had left
 And jumped from cliff to rocks, i was forlorn.
 Upon my lover; roses wilt in pain
 For I’ve lost the one whom has no soul, and
 Was all this give and take with us in vain?
 I loved your soul and heart, we joined by hand.
 The brewing storm that took a life, took two
 For deep within your heart was love,
 And deep within my heart was you
 I’ll see you soon, i promise; heart above.
 For without you I cannot survive
 For without you I will not strive


Details | Rhyme | |

Estranged Love

"Estranged Love" By M. Taha Effendi (Rhyme) Countless days came and passed, each day in misery spent. every day I live as my last, since the day you are absent. Each day I hope of your return, I find my hopes desert me. To bear this pain the more i yearn, the more it grows to hurt me. I tried to live. I tried in vain, my efforts bore no fruit. I fell apart living in pain, but my love stood resolute. Then late one night I cried to God, tears streaming down my cheeks. Please hear my plea, I beg you Lord, I've starved myself for weeks. If you must then change my fate, please let me be with her. For this long and futile wait, proves too much for me to bear. Rid me of this suffering, my fate rests in your hand. For i exist as something, that is neither dust nor sand. Comfort me with a lie if you must, so i wont writhe again. Or tell the truth so i may just, end these throes of pain. Death will be my solace, when such agony is rife. I'll surrender to its sweet embrace, to end my wasted life. I cried to God with all my heart, I begged for her in one last breath. For being alive while torn apart, is a fate worse than death.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

SUNSET AT NOON

The day becomes night;
As a comrade transcend 
To true world beyound.
Oh! Finally, a jolly good fellow drops the baton;
A justice of peace with unstained character,
A sacrificial giver who neglected his needs.
Death, you never cease to amase
As you drive home valiant colleagues.
Death! Hope you know?
Here a while we must be parted
Because
For a while the tired body
Erupt in sleep.
Soul and body reunited.
Thence; death, nothing shall divide 
Father, mother, child and brethren.
Nevertheless, the dead, you were great while alive
And great in death.
The pens, sleep till we meet and part no more.


      WRITTEN BY EDORE PAUL OYAKHILOME
	0092348081195600, 0092348131176767
	DEDICATED TO  JOURNALISTS . 


Details | Rhyme | |

Longing for Peace

What is this weight, upon my chest I feel?
Is it worries trapped inside my mind, or is it real

I gasp for air, but feel that there is nothing left for me
The weight I feel upon my chest I can not touch or see

It feels of heavy burden, painful loss and memories
As if I’m sitting in a boat alone in darkened seas

Surrounded by the darkness, and the air is thick and tight
I feel as if I’m standing still, though I row with all my might

I pray for God to clear the air, and show me that there’s light
But this prayer, has gone unheard, and my heart is full of fright

What do I do, where do I turn, there is no help for me
This is something I must endure, be brave until I’m free

The pain I feel, it just gets worse, and I feel I can not stand
What should I do, I try to move, but it’s as if I’m in quick sand

My mind has lost all reason; it’s as if there’s nothing there
My heart feels all the pressure, and it’s more than it can bear

I’m trapped inside a darkened space, that’s full of worry and despair
I’m weighed down with all my thoughts, and I don’t really want to share

I know that this is something that I will get through one day
But until then I’m trapped inside this mind so far away.


Details | Rhyme | |

Friends With Benefits

Living my life on the Dole*, Because my Mum told me so, Interview at ‘McDonalds’, but that Tyrant told me "No!", See, we're a family with pride, Don't sell fries at super-size, But where's the pride, If I can't provide, For my own style of life, Spent my money from the *Brew, On Irn-Bru**, I swear that’s true, Dreary, damp & cold, This black hole, I call home, Only 'joy' I get in life’s the 'stick' I use for X-BOX, And I aint got a tumble dryer so I step with wet socks, Work-shy, but money-hungry, Flats cramp-sized & pretty ugly, Arrogant guy, Until I woke up and realised that no-one loves me. Brain melts to slush, in this non-testing occasion, ‘Gain Work’ is a must, for a teenage Caucasian, Nothing separating me, From drug-addled Dads of three, No payday, Just giro day, No jobs… great, Keep trying mate, No end in sight as unemployment rises, Government gives you cash like they were handing out prizes, Where’s my reason to go out & work? My motivation, Its pleasing no-one now, this escalated situation, Experience is something that you earn, not that you’re born with, Inexperienced forever, if I don’t get employed quick, I don't enjoy sitting on my broken couch for hours, I'm your Friend with Benefits, can only wash with cold showers. (*Common British phrases for Jobcentre or Jobseekers Allowance Benefit) (**Famous Scottish soft drink mass produced around Britain)


Details | Couplet | |

Numbed And Exhausted

Just like closing a book without reading a page,
Or as to a child who is tired of being a kid;
Like a preacher that won’t stay in a pulpit so long
Or to a sprinter who leaves from the running throng.

No time for laughter or for returning a grin
Or consoling oneself for the pain deep within;
No self-pity or pride to be felt by the heart
Yet reserved and reluctant for another start.

Sleep is precious and so desired by the mind
Having no urge for a smoke or for the spirit of wine;
No more is the longing for a kiss or embrace
When the will of a man only needs its own space.

Like a rooster of the dawn that would be cackling no more
As the dew that would dry without wetting at all.
Or a poet who used to spend some long sleepless nights
For the mind is now stalled with nothing to write.

No more rhyming lines or a tune for a song
Though the art for the craft is still able and strong;
But to rest and to rest is what the soul ever wanted
For the spirit that is numbed and so exhausted.

Date & Time of Writing
November 19, 2011
1:32pm – 2:05pm

I had a sleepless night and feeling the pain within my heart up to the time of this writing. I am simply getting impatient of my own patience. I feel that, for such, I become vulnerable to exploitations and blatant lies. Albeit, I still strive to be fair by keeping the pain within myself and hoping that at the end of this particular writing the pain I have inside would be just a driving force of coming up another piece of a candid poem.


Details | Lyric | |

Never Fight Alone

I got mad. Didn't know how to use my energy. So I made this song on the piano. I want to sing it with my brother when he's better. I hope he does get better soon. 
Dedicated to David. Just been so angry lately. And so sad. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Verse I: (David) I was alone What can I say? I was lost Couldn't pray I was trapped In their games I regret it Everyday Verse II: (Laura) I was jaded By my sin Never sweated Anything Couldn't sleep Couldn't dream I was scared Of everything Chorus: (David) Within me lies a battle A war I just can't fight alone Can you hear me now? Will you hear me out? Before I lose the struggle I'm begging for some help right now We need to take a stand I need to be a man Laura: Your heart is in my hand Both: (You) I will not fight alone Verse IV: (David) I'm losing faith Can't find the way Can't erase The things I say I see the world Instant pain! If I'm anything I'm insane Verse V: (Laura) Don't talk that way! Just look at me! You are stronger Then I'll ever be! I pulled you in I pushed you free I was foolish Please come back to me Chorus: (David) Within me lies a battle A war I just can't fight alone Can you hear me now? Will you hear me out? Before I lose the struggle I'm begging for some help right now We need to take a stand I need to be a man Laura: Your heart is in my hand Both: (You) I will not fight alone Within me lies a battle A war I just can't fight alone Can you hear me now? Will you hear me out? Before I lose the struggle I'm begging for some help right now We need to take a stand I need to be a man Laura: Your heart is in my hand We'll never fight alone Never Fight Alone


Details | Free verse | |

over and over agin

sometimes i talk to myself, 
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all. 
she cried silent in her bed,
blood stains covered her favorite jeans,
her every shirt,
long sleeve ofcourse...
she suffered through it all with few people to call friend
and more to call enemy
even more to say where quite dissappointed....
FAT
her first name in school,
not started by a bully
or a mean rival,
but by her sister, 
and it echoed through her soul,
repeating in her mind... over and over again,
like the ripples of still water
when a pebble is dropped
flash frozen in time
repeating,
over and over again...
It was the first name they gave her,
millions where created over the years,
some unique
some repeating again, just as the first had..
gothic they called her,
emo, fat, ugly....worse things.
but in her mind, things where worse.
everything was repeating,
over and over again,
finally she believed it. 
she asked for help, from everyone
tried to explain to parents she wasnt well,
got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist,
not from a teacher,
not from a class mate,
but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't,
believe there could possibly be a thing wrong....
finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher.
rather then giving her time,
she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough...
she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class...
the princlipal says she needs help,
sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation,
her dads crying as she shows him her cuts...
they walk into a hospital room, 
it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer,
the lady at the desk gives her a smile.
then she goes into a room with a lady,
her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup,
the girl is gaging on her perfume,
and she looks really intimidating....
her dark brown hair looks dead and flat
even though its a bit wavy, 
and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown.
asks her all these questions,
is mommy beating her?
no
is daddy raping her?
no
is she doing drugs?
not alot
is anyone beating her?
pass...
did anyone molest her? 
pass....
oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan,
valium, lithium, more.......
and thats what they gave her,
more... 
some numbed the pain
some brought it out
tearing through her organs,
she became an addict by the time she was fourteen....
over dose after over dose
some for pleasure
some for pain,
gashes on her legs getting deeper,
this time she didnt tell a soul,
not even those she had come to call friends....
wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again
as she dropped weight like it was nothing....
you cant controll it she argued as things became worse. 
at age fourteen she attempted suicide,
she didnt quite succeed.
the medication took away her aappitite....
she liked it
she hated her body
hated herself
felt out of controll
found a new way to cope
as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat
to keep her body from nuitrients...
as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses 
I ate at my friends house....
spoken as a whisper
heard like a sentance
echoing in her mind over and over again,
along with that word, all the words,
FAT!!!!!!
ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing...
one bite she would say
rocking back and forth
craving nothing but food
her body racked with hunger pain
one bite and there she was again
FAT!
over and over and over again
back to a toothbrush
this time she sees blood
she saw her ribs
she saw her bones,
it wasnt good enough,
she almost died, again....
choking on this deep dissappointment in herself,
gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat, 
their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs
all shoved down her throat like candy
and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste
or the hurt
or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon...
and you know why? 
because daddy yelled 
and couldnt accept what was happening
not because he wanted to hurt her
but because it hurt him,
and she let him believe,
because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too.
because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day
smoking weed
doing nothing,
practically having us raise ourselves,
she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter
she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement,
and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage
 her mother had created for herself.
because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did
she was just frustrated
fed up with the way things where
scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty
and to help heal her pain...
because people in school
who where so cruel
had to have learned from somewhere
and she wasnt going to play into their games,
and they knew she was an easy target
because she would never attack someone so weak
and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice
to help all these people....
to help her dad,
her mom,
her sister,
every person who was beaten abused or hurt
 and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had.
because depite the fact she had died inside,
and almost passed away on the out,
it was a saccrafice she was willing to make
so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain,
and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell
of somthing that could have been
and never had the chance
and why? 
because she would take it and wouldnt strike back,
because sometimes "just taking it"
isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything
but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...


Details | Villanelle | |

Funeral

His family pretended not to cry 
But both his sisters had no heart to spare; 
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie. 

The blazing sun one summer day drew nigh; 
Its orange radiance it could not share. 
His family pretended not to cry. 

There was a man in hell beneath that sky-- 
Discerning now that care, like warmth, was rare. 
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie. 

All that his soul could utter was a sigh; 
The shattered saints in Heaven said Lord's Prayer. 
His family pretended not to cry. 

Like sunlight, his disease bore down to dry 
Emotions spent without concern or care. 
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie. 

Upon the desert ground he lay to die-- 
Addiction was much more than he could bear. 
His family pretended not to cry; 
They said they loved him, yet it was a lie.


Details | Free verse | |

On A Lonely Bench

Sitting on a lonely bench,

Memories got me blenched,

Your heart I tried to clench,

Though, the rains got me drenched,

From hearts I needed to entrench...

 

Your words not retrenched,

From things I wanted to bent,

While you often tended to bend,

Without letting me mend...

 

You, I tried to fend,

You borrowed and erased te times I used to lend,

Manipulated and used by you,

Pretending to be a friend...

 

From hallows I scended

From errors you descended,

My life wished to be attended.

Even though, you got me expended,

My hands were still extended,

Even though, you got me offended...

 

The times I misspended,

You still condescended me,

Though, the changes were about to be impended,

I was still amended,

And I was still intended...

 

But, I was not comprehended,

Even though, you were condemned and untamed,

While I was aimed to be blamed,

Still, more thing you wanted to borrow and gain...

 

Although, this is the end,

The ways, I will paint,

For the pains to get unbended,

As I contemplate nature and life,

With memories that swayed and portended,

As my soul slowly transcended,

While sitting on a lonely bench...


Details | Free verse | |

Glisten in the Moonlight

Your glorious emerald eyes 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Delight dances in the water
I watch it joyfully
You are set free from the cage...
You're like a dove soaring in the sky
You are the rain...
drizzling down in ecstasy 
A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection...
When you caress me... I'm relieved... 
From the stress that forced me in chains
I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow 
We're glistening in the moonlight 
I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us
We're glistening in the moonlight
For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy 
I saw at first glance the dark side of you
Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon 
We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye...
We'll wave a greeting at the moon! 
We glisten in the moonlight...
What if I was as handsome as the lion...
Roaring with pride and pure courage
What if we were glistening in the moonlight?
Would it bring health to our bones tonight?
Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight?
Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight?
Would we be shimmering like a candlelight?
We're glistening in the moonlight... (6)
Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh...
We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star
I feel the coolness run down my fingers...
We're glistening in the moonlight
You're the dandelions in the fields
You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday
When you kiss me, I live my dreams
We glisten in the moonlight
In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal 
I roam inside of your illuminating maze 
Glow on... sunshine... 
Glow on...sunshine...
Glisten in the moonlight...
Listen to the truth and rub it in
You are ravishing like the sunset
But you're ascending while I'm descending
I feel extremely guilty
I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight
You're glistening in the moonlight (6) 
Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh
You're glistening in the moonlight (4)
We go our own way
I wish we can glisten like the moon
Glisten like the sun 
There's a dream concealed inside of me...
Reveal your light and pour it upon me
You glisten in the appealing moonlight
While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams
Of gliding across the horizon 
You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction
While I'm below you... 
Your emerald green eyes
Stared me down like a hawk...
Your emerald eyes
Gaze down at me genuinely...
I wish we could flee together in reality...
That could be a possibility
To glisten in the moonlight in glee
We were glistening in the moonlight (3)
But that was only a dream...
I'll pray that it turns into a reality
We were glistening in the moonlight 
Now, I've misplaced my delight...
Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?


Details | Rhyme | |

A Painful Thanksgiving Night

A Painful Thanksgiving Night… As I sit here this Thanksgiving night I can do nothing else but write. My family’s in the other room So, why do I feel all this gloom? When we arrived late last night I thought for sure I would be alright. Even though it took everything in me To take that 3 hour drive you see. Each and every time I come All I want to do is run. Run away and never turn back A family bond I sure do lack. A mother’s love is what I crave But a hug and money is all she gave. My sisters and I we try and try To understand mother as the years go by. But nothing about her ways makes sense She’s cold and hard and always on the defense. Through the years she’s done much wrong But the love of my mother I still do long. Though the bad memories of her will never erase I prayed through my kids they might be replaced. Maybe they would chase away her pain And my love for her would not be in vain. When they’re around her it’s clear to see There’s nothing left, no mystery. Who she is; is what she’ll be All I see is a repeat of history. A history filled with hurt and pain To protect my children I must break the chain. This chain has bound me in so many ways It almost claimed my life - on several days. Lay


Details | Tetractys | |

scattered shards

you left me all alone without a chance to pick up the scattered shards of my heart


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

As my Mother Slips Away

I called my mother the other day- just to listen to her voice
She answered dear Steve – yes this is me- how are you this day
I said I was fine- it has been some time- I searched for more words to talk
She cantered a bit then came to a halt- as I began to say 
Mother dear- this is Mark- how are you today 
Mark she replied- I have a Mark- he was the oldest of three
How is school - are you making good grades- are you coming home real soon
I told her I would- If only I could- would she know me anyway
I visited my mother the other day- at a home for Alzheimer patients
Her stare in the air- made it be known- that she could not remember
I sat by her side- we nibbled on crackers- we looked out the window pane 
Then I was father- she told me she miss me –I cried a thousand tears
She reached for my hand- I did not resist- I was blessed to make her happy
How are you Tom- I said I was fine- The kids will be home soon
I told her it’s time- I must go home - I have to work tomorrow 
I took her hand- I’ll see you soon- Goodbye Steve she told me

As my Mother slips away today- how precious are my memories
For after this world –I can hardly wait- for my Mother to recognize me


Details | Rhyme | |

May God Comfort You During Your Loss

May God Comfort You...


I'm sorry to hear about your loved one passing away.
I know that in heaven, you shall
be with him someday.

Life's adversities are at times hard to explain.
Sometimes, very quickly, 
circumstances can change.

I pray that through your loss, sorrow and pain.
You'll find comfort and joy in Jesus' name.

May his arms of tender
mercy and grace,
bring love to your heart and
a smile on your face.

May God's presence bring an
assurance to your soul,
knowing that God is with you no 
matter where you go.

Through all that's happened,  I pray you will find.
God's wonderful joy, his comfort
and a peace of mind.

On the stormy seas of life, 
with God, you shall prevail.
His promises and love for
you will never, never fail.

By Jim Pemberton 


Details | Rhyme | |

Why Do We Preach Tolerance and Love


Tolerance and love is preached…  But,  at what price?
Too often we forget about Jesus’ sacrifice!

His death was because our sin counted against us.
He died on the cross because he truly loves us!

How dare we “cheapen” his work on the cross!
In today’s “political correctness..”  We have lost!

In the love and acceptance, we call it “inclusion.”
This has led many into a serious “confusion.”

Many want the loving side of God.  I can’t blame them!
But those who seek his holiness…  
Can you name them?

God is a God of love.  But he requires holy living too!
This is not a request but a command 
me and you!

If it’s tolerance and love you want…  Look no more!
You’ll be able to find it washed up on sin’s shore!

The people of Israel wanted “free love.” 
 Look what it got them!
Being slaves and captives, is what
 it taught them!

God is a loving God but is also as a consuming fire!
Living a righteous life is what he really desires!

“Without holiness…  No man shall see him.”
That’s why he sent Jesus, to the world beneath him!

Won’t you allow your sins to be totally forgiven?
Only Jesus can change the way
 you’ve been livin’!

He gives eternal life to those who
 diligently seek him!
The choice is yours to repent and receive him!

By Jim Pemberton    


Details | Elegy | |

Let Go

A long list of names with not a friend among them
Is it just of book of hidden faces
Forgotten faces?
Not a single word I've ever said was
written with truth
And here's the proof

When there's tears streaming down my face
Stuck in place
Is a smile that is a lie
When every time  I look around
I want to die

No friendly faces, in the brightest of places
And I can't make a sound
Is this life or is it just a dark hell
 How is one to live without living
Feeling lonely
Lost in a sea of sound

The darkness inside me
Is seeping through my heart
and making me lose my self control
Turn the shower up higher so they don't hear me cry
It's all I can do, just living a lie

The friends I thought I had
left when I was reaching my lowest
Now as I sink below the surface
The sun is the dimmest of lights

Scratching at my sides
Not ready to go back to the blade
So long gone, I've reached the breaking point 
but I'm afraid to let go


Details | Narrative | |

Christmas Rebels

Christmas Rebels
It was about a weak
After that night walk
The unknown dangers, 
Made known, turned me weak,
I was managing myself,
After my heart was pulled,
From where it sank,
I was yet in the oven,
Of my haven,
To dry up the coldness,
And the wetness, 
Of that fearful night loneliness,

Today is Christmas,
The whole mass,
Was joyous,
Every home, glorious,
Meat was plenteous, 
Rice and beans.
Was every homes means,
Children bouncing in,
New goat skin jackets,
Mother’s dressed in costly
Beads and all the way,
Father leads.
For Christmas had taking over,
Taking over the African Shrine,
It supplied a joyous sunshine.
Our pockets were full of cowries,
Like a goldmine,
Happiness was mine,
For the usual war seemed 
To be hidden, and our teethes where like, 
“Forever opened”.

Oh! Joyful, blissful, plentiful Christmas.
Providing joy each time it surface, 
But joy has a slender waist that breaks so soon.
Christmas night came, so we visited 
Our beds as night rang it’s bell,

(To be continued in the next, same Poem).


Details | Ballad | |

Antigone

I am the face of misery
My life, a dissonance of autumn and spring,
The years are written in the same
Lugubrious, nostalgic grey
How can it be the author to blame?
I cannot scream this all away…
Burn nor Bleed this all away…
To Death I am Ordained

Lacuna ever growing
With Velvet sheets of life flowing
Aeons apart of my "royalty"
Under the mask the cannot see...
Can you dispel this tragedy:
Antigone - Epiphany failing

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

No words of hope
No words of hate
Do I have Lenore to send to me:
The sordid child of Thebes
Caught In the longest nightmare
life - the slowest way to die

I know this is my life 
But I'm not under control
under the mask the will see
Just Another Human

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

Can you dispel my life; this tragedy?
Can you control the storm in my mind?
I'm asking you: can you rid me
Of The Curse of Antigone?


Details | Rhyme | |

I Hate Aunt Floe

NOTE: This poem is a humoruos stab at PMS from a mans point of view

I can see your blood boiling
through  the blades I once called eyes,
they were once beautiful  like jewels
now they hurt my deep insides.
cutting at my guts
and like a noose on my  lungs;
your words seek like bullets 
your mouth like sniper guns.
I’m hit with each inaccuracy…
Being killed by words untrue;
and you even got the nerve
to tell me what you think I do.
But let me get mad
and try to plead my case;
then suddenly the world
is a f--ked up place.
You got tears running down…
What the Hell did I do?
We were just sitting and laughing
I could swear that we were cool.
Oh God…
Oh no…;
I should have seen it… 
It’s Aunt Floe…,
This battle can’t be won or reasoned
I think its best I go.
Cause I hate Aunt Floe 
and she hate me too;
she sit and talk sh-t
about the gum I chew. 
The color of my shirt…,
She say my look is a stair;
She say my best has no worth
And she doesn’t stop there.
I didn’t change
I’ve been the same 
these 28 days,
 but now I’m f_ckin A__hole 
Aunt Floe gave me that name.  
She said get out my face 
This aint your home no more,
But I’m more puzzled by 
What was said before.
I love you 
With her glossy eyes 
I knew it was true, 
But horribly sly
You see these words
make me the fool.
The one that’s cruel
That a__hole dude,
That sparked the fuel
To this f__kin feud.
But I swear to God
I didn’t start this sh_t,
Why would I give up my love 
To live my life like in a pit.
 This is horrible sh_t 
Wasted days spent,
On nothing but the worst
I could be bathed in your sent. 
You could be laughing 
While I’m smiling
But Aunt Floe Won’t let this be,
And the only way to make this right
Is hold my tongue  a week.
And that ain’t gone happen 
I’m a person too,
Not soft
But I got feelins
and don’t know what  to do.
Now its been six days
Unbelievable  rage,
She locked herself 
In the room
I call it her cage.
I smell a sent in the air
It wasn’t there before,
Now lookin down the hall
I see an open door.
Is this a trap 
I’ll guess I’ll see,
If I fall for another
 You know that’s dumb ass me.
Curled in the bed 
I think I know that girl,
But where’s the hells Aunt Floe
The one that f__ked my world.
She packed up and gone
Didn’t even say good bye,
Just came wit gang of bullsh_t
And vanished in the sky.
Is that you my dear
Can you please come here,
Listen close and crystal clear…
I hate Aunt Floe
 Next time she here
Make sure I’m stocked
with weed and beer.
I love you punk.  ?


Details | Narrative | |

My Legacy

My ancestors came here long ago
Tough and strong not weak
But somewhere down along the line
Something went terribly wrong
And now I have to sit here and deal with my legacy
Of not what I thought it would be
Not where I choose to be right now
The legacy that’s me.

I can’t escape the past
The memories seem to last
Of the horrors of what has come before
The graveyard is the place
I can see it on my face 
My family’s legacy of suicide 
is haunting me.

My generational legacy
Is it going to kill me
Or will it just let sleeping dogs lie 
And allow me to exist
Will it allow me to just to see
The me that I am meant to be
To live beyond my years
To grow beyond the tears
To handle all my fears
To defy what could have been
My legacy.

(November 13, 2010 Wausau, Wisconsin)

(c) Copyright 2010 by Christine A Kysely, All Rights Reserved 


Details | I do not know? | |

Visiting Emotion

Hello disappointment
You visit me pretty often these days
Wish I could say seeing you again was an amusement
I'm hoping your coming so much is just a faze
Mr. Disappointment you’re becoming the only feelings I feel anymore
The happiness has started to fade away 
I want our old life back where we were in love and a bore
Mr. Disappointment you make my life dark and gray
I miss the times where I would laugh and giggle for hours
I miss the times when I was the only one he wanted to be around
When you come around disappointment its tears and long hot showers
This love I used to feel is starting to be such a big let down
I don't want to be treated like this 
I have to show him I am worth caring about 
I miss our happy bliss
It's either he straighten up or finds a different route
Goodbye disappointment I want my baby’s kiss


Details | Concrete | |

dry cry

the child of a distant mother
whose cry ran dry over the other,
the child of nothingness in winter
whose feet ran cold to the toe,
to whom were she without 
a glow to the unknown?
for whom need she commute
when she does crawl than norm?
then who must follow when she cries
to the voice of a soul child; so dry?
where is the father gone too long
or were there a mother, done too long?
whose child a tender care must one render
to which child than love of a parent?
her lips cracked in instances 
and tears long soaked in her tearful skin...
 
opn28032013/0315


Details | Terza Rima | |

The Past

A migration to escape the past,
Just a mother and her son
Together on a journey that won’t last.

Coming to America, they thought they’d won,
For twelve years the start of a new life
Through sweat and struggle, overcoming the transition.

A mother soon to be a new wife
Contracted a disease so deadly,
She had to undergo the knife.

Leaving her son with a mournful melody
As she ascended that one lonely October morning,
Overwhelmed with bittersweet tears, so sad yet so heavenly.


Details | Free verse | |

My Future Generation

I can act insane
But DO NOT 
Make me feel worthless

I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation

Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee 

I can act like an
Adult, but I’d 
Prefer to have joy…

Not stress…
That piles upon us in our 
Everyday lives

Being childlike is

A rare beauty – 

No one prizes it…

No one came across it…

In this lifetime…

I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my 
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine

Renew my young heart
Give me the ability 
To kill the old man…

I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified 
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs  
By my future generation

I beg of you – 
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy

I’ll still have pieces of a child in me

And pass it on to my future generation…


Details | Rhyme | |

Blank Page

Too long have I been staring at this cruel blank page before me, My crazed, hysteric mind screaming and imploring I know there is a message that's dying to come out— I need to fill this confounded page without the slightest doubt! It's a simple predicament to manipulate, Into a mass of thought A futile attempt to insinuate, Weak hints are left with naught I sit here in silent desperation, What can fill this page? I slap myself in indignation, My eagerness becoming rage! Like roaches sporadically running from light My thoughts are but a haze The words I write just don't seem right, On this cruel blank page!


Details | Free verse | |

Tell Me Why

Why?
Why?
Why?

Tell me why?
Tell me why?
Tell me why?

Was it, because I was too nice,
I was too much of a gentleman,
or was just too much to handle?

Was it, because you were young?
Was it, because you couldn't find your heart,
in all that darkness?
Was it, because you just didn't feel the love?

Why?
Why me?
A man like me, deserves no pain,
no heartbreak.
So, why me?

I pray and ask the Gods,
why!
But an unresponsive god never speaks to me.
He sits there and watches... watching what?
Nothing, but a heart being torn to shreds.

Was it, because I was too careful?
Was it, because I loved too much?
Was it, because one half of the heart couldn't fit the whole?

I ask you, because I still love you.
Come to me, my beautiful,
stop this nonsense,
I cannot make you love me,
but I sure can try to show you love.

Do not blink,
do not take a gift sent down from the Gods
for granted.
Appriciate what you have,
appriciate me, because one day,
when you need a shoulder to cry one,
you will not be able to find me, anywhere.
I will be lost,
in a fool's dream of romance and love,
that will never come on my front doorstep.
Still dreaming of the possibilities of you and I.
My heart is with you always,
but I will soon expire,
so do not wait too long.

-10/5/2013


Details | Rhyme | |

A Very Inviting Temptation

A Very Inviting Temptation! I remember of a particular situation. I was offered a very "inviting" temptation. The situation I was in... I didn't belong! And lost any sense of "right and wrong." At first... I felt no guilt or shame. And brought embarrassment to my family's name. I tried to explain this to my wife and kids. I heard; "Dad... please... no more fibs!" The Godly principles were "tossed to the side," As the sin inside caused arrogance and pride. Soon, all in my life that truly mattered... Was gone! My life was empty and shattered! I was sorry for all of the problems I caused! This time... I took a moment to pause. I cried to God to rescue me from my sin. I confessed! Would God help me once again? I read in the Bible of Jesus’ grace and love! This time the help I needed had to come from above! I asked him for a fresh and brand new start. He removed the stain from a broken heart. He restored to me the joy I once had. I'm so blessed! Jesus has made me glad! Jesus is the reason I'm here today! I LOVE HIM more than words can say! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

God Gave Me A Talent I Didn't Use It

God Gave Me A Talent…  I Didn’t Use It!

God gave me a talent, but I chose to refuse it.
I had it…  But didn’t want to use it!

God also gave me the ability to use what was given.
But it just “didn’t fit in” with my style of livin’!

The talent he gave, he wanted for me to share...
Although I went to church…  I just didn’t care!

I was like someone who “buried the talent in the ground.”
When God came looking…  I was nowhere to be found.

I was embarrassed of what he gave and ashamed.
I didn’t want to talk about Jesus, 
or mention his name…

I wanted to be careful of who was my friend.
If I were to use God’s talent, I may easily “offend.”

We all have talents. God’s given them to each one.
He’s given to us his spirit and Christ Jesus his son!

All that we need to accomplish his purpose and goal…
He wants to use us!  He loves us more than we know!

Will you “bury” the talents that God’s given to you?
Or will you just “turn your back” like others do?

He has a divine will for us all.  A purpose and plan!
He waits for you… With an outstretched hand!

Won’t you allow him to use you HIS way?
Please do it now!  Listen to what HE has to say!

HIS blessings in your life is for you to receive!
Reach out to him now! Trust and believe.!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Lyric | |

Tears

You stand in the crowd
Stare at the sky
You look around 
And wonder why
You feel so alone 
Caught up in your pain
you feel like no one 
Can take it away

And the people walk by
Like you don't exist
You hold in the tears 
And try not to cave in...

The words cut you deep 
Leaving Scars
Where no one can see 
Deep in your Heart
You lock yourself up 
Alone in your room 
And cry yourself to sleep 
So you yourself can bloom

And the people walk by
Like you don't exist 
You hold in the tears
And try not to cave in...

And you drag your heart
On a golden chain
Right from the start 
To take away the pain

And the people walk by
Like you don't exist
You hold in the tears
And try not to cave in....

So let those tears fall


Details | Epic | |

Late Night New

Sitting in a chair and watching a movie I get a phone call,
She's dead, my little sister tells me, and I drop the ball.
you are really gone, I can't believe how this can happen,
You didn't have to go, I wish I could of dropped in. 

Hearing and seeing all the tears that are being poured out for you is very sad,
This day will be remembered in yours and you two little angels forever and that's not bad. 
Not being able to see you any more will be hard but ill think of something to occupy my self,
But till than tho, shine bright for our God and save me a crown a big shelf.


Dedication to: Alina Bukhanstova and her two little angels. 

PS: R.I.P, you will be missed.


Details | Cinquain | |

Young Girls Pain

Love
Deceitful, wicked
Weeping, cringing, loathing
Things children shouldn’t feel
Hate
 
Intimacy
Repulsive, severe
Struggling, bleeding, collapsing
My pain continues unheard
Father
 
Hope
Abandoned, faulty
Hiding, listening, praying
Life is my suffering
Justice
 
Purpose
Forbidden, fruitless
Reeling, clutching, grinning
The agony has ended
Redemption

For more poetry goodness visit  www.checkmyflow.co.uk 


Details | Lyric | |

No Good Morning Sunshine

I lie awake thinking of the agony of it all. 
A hold ripped into my heart. 
The pain of loss and what might have been. 
How can there be life without life.

My stomach rots with pain. 
Love lost because of honor before desire.
Oh God, what is to become of me now.

I fear not death! 
I have already died a death worse than death. 
In death the pain of life comes to it's end.

Then what is this death with pain. 
A death knowing there will be no,
Good Morning Sunshine...

Edward J Ebbs - Summer 2006


Details | Double Dactyl | |

life

Life is worth it
When I live for you
It’s how I know that this is love proven true
But there you fly now in the sky
Showing me that differences and flaws
Is coexistence in each other
Celebrate them don’t use them as a weakness
Because in doing that you show weakness in yourself
Show some respect to them 
For they are to be cared for 
Then why is it no one ever does
Do they not see the pain? 
With every dying cuss 
So let the pain engulf me 
Teach my eyes to see
Let a fallen angel come to curse me
Let my cuts come to bleed 
Evil engulfing my broken heart yet falling deep in love 
When everything turns to turmoil 
I turn to my angel from above 
Let my heart come to boil
In the ashes of my innocence 
Letting myself go until I fully reach out to fellow brethren s 
Praying with no feeling I can feel myself slip away
I’m falling yet falling apart 
 Without the slightest of delays 
Birth was a mistake and yet I cannot come to die
Was it true that I am meant to live?  
A man who only knows to cry 
I cannot give
The light has forsaken my cold and darkened heart
For who am I to live 
Cold and fruitless moon why have you forsaken me
Does it bring you joy to see that you are breaking me
Listen to the cold and broken winds 
Nothing can ever beat it
Nor can I defend


Details | Double Dactyl | |

In Abasement In A Basement

OH - nonny, NO - nonny
Nicholas Goalsworthy
Promised again to
Renounce alcohol.
Characteristically
Incomprehensible,
Muttering epithets,
Cursing the wall.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Only Way I Can See

 All these tears that you can see, 
 From what you have been doing to me .
   The crying out in the middle of the night ,
 Of my thoughts of you that just aren't right .
   Despair and sadness I feel each day,
 Just can't seem to make them go way.
   I wonder why I live with so much strife,
What will it be that will change my life.
   My dreams of all that once was good, 
 Everything back then I easily understood.
   So much sadness and endless misery.
 I guess that is all that is left for me .
   Comptiplating my only way out,
 Would be so wrong no doubt.
   If it's the only way for me to be free,
 Then  that would have be the only way for me .
   Sorry if you just can't understand ,
 Exactly what has happened to this man.
   Once I was so proud to be alive,
 Now I only wish that I would die,
   If you carried the pain that I do ,
 I'm sure this path would be the same for you.

TAC


Details | Light Poetry | |

Poetic PRESCRIPTION:

                               NO REFILLS---Dr. P. Soupenstein
                               Rx *7563287      BEC 11/11/11      
Seems to me,
what you need 
for healing this condition...
is something real
you can feel
to ease this mean affliction

Patient please
accept from me
this poetry prescription:

      ( <_____PUSH & TURN_____> )

Take ONE positive poem
Read ORALLY 2 times BY MOUTH -----
Every 4-6 HOURS AS NEEDED for the pain 

Blues and belly aches will dissipate
resulting in healthy energy gains 

                  WARNING!!!
-Alcohol may intensify the effect of being drowsy 
attempting to read while operating machines... 
will cause you to drive lousy.


Details | Rhyme | |

Flood

Waters rise, engulf the land and other ruses
we devise to block their flow, to stem the tides.
Anxious, we are left to ride the waves
on fragile barques bereft of sails.
Such flimsy arks (mere barrel staves
and baling wire) float up the sides
of great sea-risers, like defiant snails
awash in slime. In time, seabrine looses
collective holds on congealed excuses
and in salt solution we dissolve.
To silver fishes we soon devolve
while worlds and stars, giants and dwarfs,
fade from mind like boats from wharfs.
And when to darker depths we dive,
will fishes miss us? Shall we survive
apart from sky, from air, from dry?
When at last we gasp and die
will crabs cavort? Can fishes cry?


Details | Rhyme | |

Dialogue of Souls


Best of friends, for countless years,
we had the best of times.
Now as my eyes are filled with tears,
your soul to Heaven climbs.
The path we take, not always clear,
I feel so lost without you here.
Your last words, prophetic now,
“I’ll be home soon”- you knew somehow.
You left me here, I’m so alone,
but I dreamed Heaven had a phone.
We talked all night, you fell asleep,
I held the line to hear you breathe…  

 

   Copyright © 2013


Details | Haiku | |

haiku

flies trapped
inside rice jar
I ask him to leave


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | Epigram | |

Absence Makes the Heart ---

Your absence hurts me,
Like a persistent toothache
Or a pair of too-tight shoes.....
But, worse, your hard face,
When finally we meet,
Leaves me panicked, gasping --
A doomed and thrashing swimmer
Drowning in your indifference.


Details | Narrative | |

VIOLATED

 HELP! HELP!
 She is sinking,
 Sinking into the abyss of despair.
 Her brain is striken And her mind is stifled.
 She has been enervated.
 Her integrity is being manipulated,
 Irrationality acts as spring board to moral decadence,
 Opacity then entangles her efficiency
 While her eminence sleeps.
 She became vulnerable.
 Poor thing, she is raped, maimed and looted.
 Has she not been violated?
 Does her plight warrants a revolution?
 However, she demonstrated.
 She shrilled,
"No!", "No!"
 She pleaded with her predators.
 All these were to no avail
 Her future seems gloomy
 As the predators succeeded in orchestrating yet another tragedy.
 Engulfed in this evident realm of adversity.
 She sits and ponders
 With tears flooding her miserable cheeks.
 She then cried,
 HELP! HELP!
 I am sinking,
 Sinking into the abyss of despair.


Details | Rhyme | |

There's A Web of Temptation And Sin

There’s a Web of Temptation and Sin!

There’s a web of temptation and a lot of sin…
That brings slavery and a strong bondage within!

Throughout this land, there’s an evil surge!
While many lives, seem to be getting “submerged!”

Being submerged, into a life, that many believe in.
They become perverted, but want all to receive them!

The “love and acceptance,”
 that many desire.
Puts them on a tightrope!  A very thin wire!

As the web of temptation and sin begin to grow.
It brings a bondage that damages the soul!

They may want to have “love and acceptance.”
But in their hearts, needs to be a godly repentance!

May the holiness of a righteous God be stirred!
That all will come back, to the truth of his word!

His son Jesus, came to the cross! He bled and died!
That through him, our lives can be totally sanctified!

Only the power of God, can bring a needed restoration!
He gives to one and all… 
 A heavenly invitation!

Whosoever will… Come now!  And accept him!
Won’t you take the time, to really know him?

Don’t allow the web of life to destroy 
and overcome you!
Come to Jesus now!  He really does
 LOVE YOU!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Quatrain | |

Moment of Madness

Vultures of doubt hover in my mind
Death beckons me
Live like a Stranger in my abode
Naught for me to live

Sparrows tweet around
On the soil beside me
Bend down, I sip water
Made muddy by rain

Came out of my walls
Tears flow down my eyes
Quench my parched throat
My hearts start beating

Feel light and tranquil
Sky is my home
Birds are my friends
Dogs line up to seek food

Push all away, I laugh aloud
My plate was empty a moment ago
Brimming with madness
My hands are full


Details | I do not know? | |

Family Matters

In the attic, above wooden floor,
through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door,
near the broken window and glass of the sore,
hiding in the shadows,
bloodstains on the wall.

 Number nine,
house at the end of the street,
where lights are low,
where silent never sleep.


Details | Acrostic | |

Wish

Whispering heartache unfolds in torture
Incisions decorate the outside of you
See the river of lost hope unfold in a pond of red
How many will know you are dead


Details | Ballad | |

Voice in the Night

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope
After the world turned dark

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Healing words
Made from
Angel heart

Oh, her chocolate whisper
Warm convincing breeze
Oh, her breathy laughter
In the shadow of my need 

Don’t you hear the voice?
Save  you from despair
Don’t you hear the voice?
Sent by ghosts who care

Don’t you hear the voice?
Rises like a prayer
Come to rescue you
From your earthly snare

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope 
Kissed my tears away

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Now I dance
To a magic serenade

Don’t you hear the voice?
Memories of home
Don’t you hear the voice?
Pretty as a poem

Don’t you hear the voice?
Vivifies your soul
Bathes you in a pool 
Love you’ve never known

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope
After the world turned dark

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head
Lady caller,
Take me, take me
To your bed

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head
Lady caller
Raise me, raise me
From the dead

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head


Details | I do not know? | |

THE RHYTHM OF LIFE

RHYTHM OF LIFE Good day to all the head in casket, Goodnight to the soul in silent, Hi,to my sometime to come friend. How I wish, we all can change our fate, But death will have no meaning But a sticky spade shade. Life, what a race, By sight we face, By height we attain, By age I different stage, Creating a leverage that we may not attain Before we are aged, Ending up our vision, Our mission in the ground cage. Nobody ever love to stop by, We all love to live forever, But death will never, Limited time is we the beholder. What do we call destiny and our fate? We all are in the world of common fate. One day,the writer and the reader, The beauty and the ugly, The leader and the follower, The right and wrong, The poor and the rich, The good and the bad, The cheap and the best, The gate man and the boss, The peddlers and the buyers, All will visit the yard for the cool headed, And never come back to share our experience. Life is our definition, Death is every ones meaning. Let us all dance, but dance for a while, The ground can’t wait, We are only living by chance, One day our time will expire. Life and death, Beginning and end. Please tell the Mr. and Mrs. position, Mr. and Mrs. power, Mr. and Mrs. decision, Mr. and Mrs. intention That nobody will live and will not leave, That he or she will no longer be referred to as IS, But by the word WAS. As we rest a man in peace, We also will be rest in peace, Sometimes by those we think we will rest in peace. Nobody is too young and small to live, Nobody is too small and too old to die. Death, the only prize for our deal, Life a race, death the fate.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Have Time For Church But NO Time For You


I’m so busy with church… I don’t have much time… But God forgives me…. So is this a crime? I go each Sunday, and do “the church thing.” I’m just too busy, to really do anything! I’m there on time. I try not to be late. I even give my ten percent into the offering plate! I bring my Bible, and wear a suit and tie. I sing the worship songs, shout and cry. Do you need any help or prayer? Please wait in line…. I’m busy right now! And don’t have the time! I’ll direct you to the pastor to make an appointment… Perhaps he’ll pray and give you an anointment! This is what I offer! And the best I can do!. I just don’t have the time for people like you! Maybe I’ll see you again. Maybe I won’t… But giving my time for others? I simply don’t… I’m trying to look good for my “Sunday appearance.” Anything less, would be a “new experience.” I hope you’ll forgive me for saying “excuse me.” Maybe I’ll find another time for you to be with me…. By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Unwanted One

One much given
to introspective self absorption,
little inclined to action,
I record this plaintive piece.....
The years go by and, though I age,
I am still the lone, unwanted one.
Early it was I learned
to embrace pain, or to avoid it.....
never to invite, through any expectation,
added disappointment.....
always penning solitary lines,
mere mental meanderings.....
My drab world,
all dry sand and clouded sun,
sparsely populated,
was a nearly vacant, arid desert.
All my laurels for achievements
I, and others, immediately devalued.
Nothing I did could
be worthy of a lauding.....
no good could come from
an unwanted one,
one outside the pale.....
not from such a joyless one.

The years go by, and still,
I am I.....
the lone, unwanted one.


Details | Free verse | |

Thoughts of You

Random thoughts of you run
randomly throughout my mind,
as I hold, looking through a simple picture of you and I,
smiles and holding each other,
embracing warmth brings me to sanity,
watching your hand on my forearm,
as you gaze into my eyes.
Oh the tears flood such emotion,
only you and I now in such madness we call love,
such madness we all call life,
such madness we all call reality.

Thoughts of me without you,
I cannot bear to see such a sight in mind,
to hear such words that tear my heart out
and sadness stabs me rapidly in the back,
and I can't bear to see such a sight as this.
Thoughts of you
running randomly throughout my mind,
my hair turns silver and white with stress
of not being with you,
and my liver covered with cancer,
and lungs black with smoke,
and stomach embraced with ulcers.

All I ask for you,
is not to be a thought anymore,
and come back to me in flesh and bone
in a portrait painting of you in reality
come to me with your beauty and glory
and kind heart and hold me again,
and let me kiss you again and love you again,
and call you mine again.
Don't say it is impossible,
when you know and I know,
that it is in fact possible
to love each other once again.


Details | Rhyme | |

Depression

I am not the person I once was
I am the person I don’t want to be
I have no energy, no enthusiasm
I have no passion for things that surround me

I have ebbed, never to return
I am barren of creativity
This thing called depression
I care not where it takes me

Now alone, I hear the voices that once inspired me
They have no meaning, just cacophony
I have been shaped by negativity 
I have been diminished by mediocrity


Details | Rhyme | |

The Wound

When my mother died
My craving eyes rained
And tormented soul cried
Blood sucked and energy drained

The sky fell, the sun eclipsed
It was a horrifying dark day
The fragrant breeze turned into easterly wind
O God! Orphaned at the age of twelve, why say

The spear of loneliness pierced my heart
Causing deep bleeding wound
Pointed at me was misfortune’s dart
All my hopes and aspirations drowned

Seasons came and seasons went
In the desert of heart autumn never changed
Gardens were filled with bloom’s scent
The butterflies with colors artfully arranged

My heart remained a symbol of despair
No one ever shared my grief
My cancerous wound alone to bear
I searched and searched but no relief

(Winner in the Member Contest of Destroyer Poet judged on 6-20-2012)


Details | Lyric | |

Garden Rose

Written August 21, 2013


There's a girl in the garden
She's messing with your rose bed
Plucking weeds out from your head
And watering the seeds in your bed

But where will she wander
When the roses are dead
Will she come back for more
When they turn back to red

She can run all alone
Write this story in stone
On concrete slabs
Of skin and bone


Details | Rhyme | |

Stop Thinking

You say you're ugly,
You say you're fat,
You say you hate reality,
but it's not just that.

You say there's nothing good,
you say everyone hates you
you say you can't eat food,
I wish I could help you.

Because in my eyes, you're beautiful.
In my eyes, you are perfect.
In my eyes, you are wonderful.
Please take the time to reflect.

You want to die,
I want you to survive.
You're trying to say goodbye,
but I'm holding onto the knives.


Details | Terzanelle | |

our homeless plight

come, my child, let me hold you tight,
so I can keep you warm tonight.
I pray God ends our homeless plight.


Dr. Ram's triplet contest


Details | Alliteration | |

Wasteland of Shame

Bound by blame, broken by blight,
Scarred by a stolen satire,
nuzzling necrophiliacs within the night.

Tangled in torment, tied untamed,
blemished by the blasphemy,
of never speaking your name.

Shackled in sin, shredded sovereignty,
dealing death’s doses,
murdering you and me.

Cuffed with candor, calling our crimes,
to an impetuous enslavement,
tortured through time.

Set me free, to flee this fool’s game,
where we're always left wandering,
in this wasteland of shame.


Details | I do not know? | |

Let's Get Lost

She was a 10 years old
When her life was sold
He hurt her in ways unimaginable
He may have not have been her father
But he was her brothers
He told the 10 year old to get in the bed
Or something would happen to her 1 month brother
The bed was cold
The springs were rusted
Her heart was always filled with love and care
But after that night
She wouldn't dare share
The 10 year old went to school the next day
Without anything to say
Her friends found out
And shunned her out
She told an      
The police were called
She was taken from her mother
Who at that time wouldn't believe her
She stayed at a family members house
A couple days went by
Then she was returned home
The bad guy was found
She still has nightmares to this day
And she has this to say:
"I'm sorry for doing what I knew was wrong
All I wanted was for my brother to be safe."


This is a true story, It's MY story. I hope that all you readers unerstand that I still blame 
myself for what happened that night. I DON'T want your sympathy, I just need friends who 
actually care. Thank You For Reading Let's Get Lost. . . . . .


Details | Free verse | |

Death of a Dream

Death of a Dream
      by Amy Swanson


Time
   existence
       goes by
          *long drawn out sigh*

gray transforming

overbearing
    the happy
         once joyful
            exuberant bright cheerful eclectic

becoming shadows
misty vapor
                  rising to the sky
                  fleeting...
                              gone.

Days gone by
     weeks
        and
          months
            and
               years

                          motions of life
                          crowd out
                          emotions of life  


                                         This unrecognized yet all too familiar place...

                                                    This is where dreams are born.
                                                    This is where dreams die.

Spark of light
    soft golden
struggles against 
    darkened mire

hope's ashes
      faith's grief
           love's despondence

Marigold hue
        charred
              sphere of night envelopes

Streaks and smudges
          of pride
              vanity
              selfishness
              cruelty
                      deface life's canvas
                         once glowing brilliant
                             -- now torn and tainted.


                                          This unrecognized yet all too familiar place...

                                                    This is where dreams are born.
                                                    This is where dreams die.
Silence...
    utter chaos...
         sheer madness
              consuming life -

they don't know.

They don't care.

They go about
     *busily*
          trading dreams
              spiritual riches
                for material fantasies
                     built with air.

Colorless
    consumes the bright

one small spark
        daring dream
              chasing burgeoning shadows

until exhausted
           extinguished...
                       no more.


                                            This unrecognized yet all too familiar place...

                                                    This is where dreams are born.
                                                    This is where dreams die.


Details | Narrative | |

Mourning Over The Locust Plaque

Some sounds like the noise of bees
Hovering around the atmosphere
Or like rain drops on our roof tops,
I opened my round window
The window of my hut,
I wanted to know
Why my sleep won't mellow,
All i saw was sorrow
As the atmosphere turned green.
The cassava farm was over shadowed
Banana plantation feebled,
Apple orchard struggled
Yet their efforts stifled,
Lemon grass for mama's herb withered,
Rose flower shattered and our 
Groundnut farm tattered.
Suddenly,the green army fled,
Tears exuded from my eyes
As i sputtered in pain,
Mother filled with melancholy,
Father tore his heart in grief
Villagers hope captured and crippled,
So their travail displayed as
Everyone mourned over 
The locust plaque.....



BY: CHARLES MELODY (LIGHTNING INK).   


Details | Quintain (Sicilian) | |

Goodbye and letting go

It's hard to go day by day, 
Remembering all you had to say; 
I think about you everyday, 
I thought of you teh most today. 

Missing you is a hard job, 
Loving you an easy job; 
Wanting to hold you tightly, 
Wanting to hear you talk softly. 

My heart breaks when I'm not with you, 
Sometimes I just don't know what to do; 
I can still remember that goodbye, 
Wish it wasn't the last bye. 

My memories fade slowly, 
Your face I hold dearly; 
Sometimes not clearly, 
Oh how I wish you were near me. 

I can write, 
I can cry, 
I can scream, 
I can forget, 
I can get mad at the world, 
No matter what I do, the pain gets worse. 

I'm sorry, 
But goodbye and letting go, are impossible.


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

The phone rings innocently.
Who is at the other side?
Could be no one then yet a peculiar feeling tells
me it is the bearer of bad news.
Still I answer hoping I am wrong.
My mother is ill, trapped between two worlds; 
the worlds of fear and courage.
My ears hear every word but my mind has created a 
sudden barrier that nothing seems to
penetrate like some sort of
steel web of unwanted denial.
Fear floods my body like a torrent
river flow, eroding strength
and stability.
How much longer can I bare it?
Never it seems but hope still glimmers 
regardless of how dim.
Miles are between us, 
I feel numb and unexpectedly lost.
Where am I?
It’s certainly not here in the presence 
of fallen angels.
The bell of hope strikes a sharp note creating a 
gentle chime awaking my
senses to the news,
they are sharpened making
the fear of loss suddenly
commanding, corrupting my
inner strength making it weak.
I continue to listen all the 
while my body is screaming
in protest.
The voice stopped, I hung up,
the pain and fear never lessened.
Time went by all the while my
mind was constantly in a state
of anguish and grief.
Endless stories were created,
each one worse than the last.
My family begun to shatter like
a broken mirror, reflecting only
the scars of misery and needless
hurt.
Hope still glimmered but appeared
distant and out of reach.
My mind grew tender, endless misery
has eaten away at my last thoughts
of happiness.
The sting of fear created heartache
for the bond between mother and child
was nearly severed,
severed by the hands of
an unwanted deity.
A deity of life itself.



Details | Rhyme | |

MANDELA ON MY WALL

Good morning Nelson; our 
imprisoned hope
Yesterday, in a darkened cell I 
thrived
Firmly manacled by apartheid 
sorrowful rope
And torture upon torture I was 
served.
When shall our freedom come?

Your sufferings I have tasted a 
bit
And felt the chains of sorrow 
on your hands.
When dreaded darkness in my 
cell hit
In fear and weariness I could 
not stand
When shall our freedom come?

I was mocked by cockroaches 
and numberless ants
That paraded on my body as 
they pleased.
In my ears they made their 
painful rants
And silent tears assembled in 
my eyes
Is freedom coming tomorrow, 
oh Nelson?

For I see beneath your sad 
wrinkles
A smile reserved for tomorrow
When freedom's olive oil shall 
be sprinkled
Among us all to happily wallow,
When freedom comes 
tomorrow.

During apartheid regime in 
South Africa, it was common 
among South Africans to stand 
in front of Nelson Mandela's 
portrait and lament their 
ordeal. They asked the portrait 
some touching questions like: 
Is our freedom coming 
tomorrow? Shall we ever be 
freed? I have same Mandela’s 
old portrait and any time I look 
at it, the sad events of those 
days fill my memory. 

For Sydney Leeann’s picture 
frame contest  


Details | Rhyme | |

Runaway mother

A woman, a mother
as a little girl
she couldn't wait to become
But its gotten to hard now 
back to a little girl
she wants to run


Details | Lyric | |

Miles

I write
my late night revelations
paint an image so clear-
so precise-
as if fine-tuned with a microscope.
I see the truth.
I now realize that what I need-
I want-
is YOU.
I don't know how I am going to make you see,
make you feel...
I need to make you know.
A simple touch is all I need
to delve into your mind and infect you.
But how to reach you?
You are hidden far away
within your own mind,
in maze of your own design.
Between us locked doors and endless traps,
mountains,
valleys,
rivers, lakes, oceans,
miles and miles of 
impassible terrain that keeps me apart,
keeps me from you!
We are two universes set to collide-
not to be destroyed,
but merge into one.
Set to collide, but keep missing our mark.
This is unbeknownst to you.
I keep the secrets within me.
How much longer can I wait-
how much longer until my silence
consumes me?
Until you break me?
I am deserted, alone,
left in desolation.
You are the answer to the questions,
the key to my freedom.
But you cannot reach me.
And you do not know what you are.
How much longer til my time runs out?


Details | Lyric | |

Elysium Dream of Love

I close my weary eyes
Holding onto the hope
Of not having to cope
Not a mintue longer
Without you by my side
Not expierencing
The warm look in your eyes
The tingling rush of your finger tips
That would grip my hair tight
To stop you from slipping into the night
Biting  your bottom lip
As a pinch to yourself
To see if it was real
The dream of love we felt
And now that you are gone
I only wish to die
Your image fades from my mind
Sometimes I see it clear,
The sun is skillfully stroking it set in the sky
As my feet float down the road across the tuscan country side
I ever so gently sense the wildy grown wheat
Tickling these troubled lines engraved in the palm of my hand
I playfully pick one out of the land and pluck the grains
I look up and in the distance is where she waits
But there she remains peacefully strolling through the calming field
In a white cotton dress that tails off in the wind and
wearing a small confident smile that makes my yearning heart yield
Whispering in my ear that soon I will make it home
But my Life's journey must continue down this God paved road
I awake with the longing of her, But with so much to do
I need God's strength for one more day to get through


Details | Rhyme | |

Ana

She writes her songs and her poems,
not one person know 'em.
She listens to the sound of her music,
she's stuck to it like a tick.

If someone took the time to listen,
her true colors would glisten.
She's put on a mask,
and hid everything when someone asked.

She was the type of girl who would always laugh,
making you wish it would last.
She was the type of girl who would smile the day away,
too bad it is no longer that way.

She is now the girl who is depressed,
I bet you're impressed.
Since no one could tell
that she was going through hell.

Everyone thought she was happy, 
when really, she felt crappy.
Everyone thought she was having the time of her life,
who would have guess her best friend was a knife?

She spent her days alone,
she seemed to do everything on her own.
Never once wanted help.
Thought she could do everything herself.

Then the day came,
when she lost the game.
She fell apart,
and everyone saw her broken heart.

They saw the way she overreacted.
Oh, if only you saw the way she acted.
She bruised herself, scratched herself, and made herself bleed,
no one knew what it was that she needed.

They saw her tears,
and that was what she feared.
They found out she wasn't okay,
oh, she hated that day.

Everyone found out about her secret,
and she wish they'd just forget,
but she knew they couldn't,
and that they wouldn't.

She left that town and started over,
no one knew she went undercover.
She said she got better,
when really... something else occurred. 

She secretly hurt herself,
and walked away from help.
Everyone thought she recovered,
when really, she was undercover.

She secretly wanted to get worse,
no one knew of course.
No one cared to ask,
if she was wearing her mask.

Now it's too late,
she locked the gate.
Killed herself,
everyone had forgotten she needed help.

Goodbye cold world,
this was a story of a girl
who once loved everyone
then feared who it was who won.


Details | Free verse | |

Words of Life

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out 
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…

**chorus** 
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… 


Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots 
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh…  I’m failing 

*chorus*

I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…

I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…

*Chorus* 

Splintering lies fill your heart 
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… 

*chorus*

Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold

Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares 
Answer our prayers & block out the night 
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight


Details | Free verse | |

Hidden Treasure

Hidden Treasure
Hidden, locked away
A last resort
A compromise
When your well has gone dry
You search endlessly for me
Certain that my presence 
Always awaits your lonely soul
Underneath your dreamscape 
Here I remain
Your reality
I will be your mirror
When delusions are before you
For you I bear this cross
Because my heart beats for you

Just a memory to you so often
Your buried treasure lies here
Waiting to be discovered


 

©  2008 Courtney Dyer


Details | Lyric | |

It's Not Over

Don’t say it’s all over (cause it’s not)
“Sorry” won’t cover it…so don’t go on your knees and pray for my forgiveness 
Oh baby…don’t listen to the commotion…I’m done taking cover (it’s all for naught)
I’m plummeting in slow motion…into the remorseful pit…I’m plummeting in my nightmare’s abyss

I want to carry you through the night… 
I’m swimming in the ocean of my tears… 
My sodden wings lost its ability of flight…
You've been swimming in your distress for years… 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

I want to remind you to fight the good fight…
My misery pools are brewing inside of my head…
I’m backing away from the light & exploring the night… 
You’re giving in to sleep and I’m wide awake on my bed 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

Please don’t tell me…oh, don’t tell me…darling!
You’re giving up today… (I beg you to stay, despite your inner pain) 
I’m scared I might erupt – it could be quite startling!
Someday, things will change for the better… (Don’t turn the wrong lane)
I’m waiting for that day to arrive – perhaps it will wash away our dismay…

I promise you a tranquil reality 
I want to stray with you tonight 
I still have hope that He’ll set us free
I was wondering if you could stay the night
Maybe the Lord could grant us 
Pure, incredible delight 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we've plunged into our own pit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to gather…


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

INVISIBLE

I am the one the word has forgotten. I am the one that walks around and never seen. I am the breeze behind you. I am the one who is never wanted or needed. I am the one that is only seen when you most need me. I am but a shadow no one see's me neither fades nor cares on where I go. I seek for the way out but am lost. He is never far from me lurking in the dark corners of my world saying things I do not wish to hear. Trying to force his way out into the open scratching and clawing at the walls that keep him in. Sadly the walls are starting to crumble and don't know how much longer they will hold starting to give up on fixing the wall. Soon he will be free and there is nothing I can do anymore or want to no one would even notice the change or even me being there to stop him. So I might as well let the walls fall and walk away and let everyone else deal with the problems that shall proceed. For it seems that no one cares on what I do or who I am. I will stay for a bit longer but don't know how long it will last just getting so tired and no one notices because I am...invisible
[11/24/12 7:29:53 PM] Damien Carlton: I am the one the word has forgotten. I am the one that walks around and never seen. I am the breeze behind you. I am the one who is never wanted or needed. I am the one that is only seen when u most need me. I am but a shadow no one see's me neither fade nor cares on where I go. I seek for the way out but am lost. He is never far from me lurking in the dark corners of my world saying things I do not wish to hear. Trying to force his way out into the open scratching and clawing at the walls that keep him in. Sadly the walls are starting to crumble and don't know how much longer they will hold starting to give up on fixing the wall. Soon he will be free and there is nothing I can do anymore or want to no one would even notice the change or even me being there to stop him. So I might as well let the walls fall and walk away and let everyone else deal with the problems that shall proceed. For it seems that no one cares on what I do or who I am. I will stay for a bit longer but don't know how long it will last just getting so tired and no one notices because I am...invisible


Details | Rhyme | |

Jennifer Part 3

She has so much pain inside of her,
she doesn't know how to address it.
So she turns the pain into anger,
after she explodes, she becomes quiet.

She goes up to her room, upset.
Why does the world hate her so?
She thinks to herself, “That’s it!”
But in reality, it isn't though.

She lies on her bed,
Pulls out her book and reads.
As she turns the pages, she loses her head,
In her mind, she thinks “This is what I need.”

A place to escape the world,
Somewhere she can run.
For it seems everyone hates this girl,
And nothing she does is fun.

She plays her cello 
And loses herself in the music
She does this when she feels low
Then she plays the song of her pick

She listens to the beat she makes,
Trying to make it sound perfect,
But oh, she keeps making mistakes,
She thinks that she will never get it.

She leaves the cello alone
And watches her shows
She then grabs her phone
And tells her best friend the show as it goes.

She leaves the TV on, 
Then she enters her laptop.
She stays on till dawn,
She just can’t seem to stop.

She loves the idea of leaving the real world
And entering an imaginary one.
That’s the story of the girl,
Who is never done.


Details | Alliteration | |

We Beat Until We Battered

We sometimes drink and smoke so much We get beat until we are battered 
Our dreams were like one giant wall of glass where upon they were destined to be shattered
 Broken in a heap of glass we now stay occupied where lost souls continue to gather
 Dark yet so desolate living amongst those were nothing in life but a quick death seems to matter
 It seems as if the harder we try the more below we get needing somekind of ladder
 All I hear are silent screams among gossiping chit chatter 
Our truth is getting skinnier while our lies are well fed by the way the are getting fatter
 Crying souls overcome those that are filled with laughter 
The clock for many of us gets slow but our life train to death only gets faster 
Many of us which remain lost in addiction looking for a positive leader, a mentor, some kind of master
 
But when shyt hits the fan we must remain strong even if we just lost someone close and are feeling sadder
 If life is to throw us those curveballs in a the ring then its time stop mr nice guy and get badder
 You must endure the shyt that you got to endure even if it gets your hands and feet a little tathered
 Life can and will get you drunk so handle your drink or let it bring you down until you can no longer stagger
 You must tell yourself **** them and everybody else because you still got skill even if you aint got swagger
 Just tell yourself "**** they judgements" because you know in your own eyes you still look sharper than a dagger
 SO QUIT ACTING LIKE YOU AINT NEVER BEEN MENTALLY BEAT UNTIL YOUR PERSONALITY WAS BATTERED.....BECUASE IT WHAT YOU MAKE IT IN THE END THAT TRULY MATTERS!!!!!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Wine and Dine

Wining and dining,
Dancing and prancing
Hoping I'll score,
My money I'm chancing...

Desperate for love,
A body warm
All my sensualities
Begin to swarm

Peck on the cheek,
My $100 prize
I stood there still,
With glazed eyes

Inside she rushed,
With ne're a word,
I stood still on the stoop,
Like a highschool nerd

Was it my hair?
My breath?
My looks?
Does she see
My hands as hooks?

Home I went,
Head hung low,
Well, at least,
Now I know...

No vanity
Do I see...
Worthy of...
Overcoming me.


Details | Free verse | |

Pearls

Nacreous trees
reach into goldenrod skies
autumn wheat hissing, envious!
Tassels of crown hang, lifeless.
Queen of a barren kingdom
where silver suns trek horizons, 
never in reach for the looking glass
to swallow, and reflect,
inside out.
Another sunrise sets
all as the pearl harvest eclipses behind,
the apple of her eye.


Details | Tanka | |

Nocturnal Wanderings

Epitaph ready I scout the darkness for ground digging up a grave A quiet night burial for deep dark sorrows of my heart 10/5/2012 Yesha Shah


Details | Musaddas | |

JESUS WITH MY FAITH I SEND THIS PLEA

written 14th July 2013


My sorrow, is overwhelming my 'entire' soul
 for in my jaded life, my dear "Nath" would be the last breath taken away
Why does God, continue taking those that play the most 'critical' roll
 my life is 'never' going to endure, any hint of ease.. no way

Heart heavy, loss and pain all consuming me 'again'
 God, I plea with you leave me those that I 'love' these day's
It's become 'that' part of the year, my Nathan was taken due to 'my' curse
 tears flood my entire being, why do you always insist I live entirely 'alone'

Sorrow just in this year now at 'half point' has finally taken the 'full' toll
 I no longer see, any thing as my destiny that I shall 'exude'
When, will it 'ever' be my turn, I wait..to become the next called to heaven
 "am" I not worthy, of your abundant grace?

You, seem to take 'everyone' I 'entrust' to a faraway land
 Nathan Reide' these are my tears containing, the 'most sorrow' I've ever let fall
But, every memory of you and me, stop all of the pain
 just, another pain and despair to add to my life's endurance 'till'

I long, for peace, joy and 'any' kind of life would do me,
 at this point of my life, I can not take anymore, seriously, lighten up on me!
I fear in new friends, how long..before you conclude they too will end
 You bless me with a loving husband, mother, father, niece
 
When.. do you think you might, 'let' me see them... this  is my plea
 returning me back into church, I am in need off being blessed
How 'come' you did take that away from me? 
 faith, in me stayed 'strong' you alone know the extent

I need to move 'now' I have stayed still, and achieved what I think I was to 
 poet, I assume that was 'my reason' why you kept here
With that now in full swing
 can you now spread my wings

You are 'overpowering' my soul, and I now do as I am told
  patience, never was my best strength, have I 'not' proved to you
I'm completely at your mercy, you are the entity that drives the heart of me
 with all that, I need a break between all these sorrowful times, 'may I now move'

This is the deepest of despair, I have ever endured, please see me through
 I am more than 'positive' I WILL NOT make it through, another emotional trial
Not to be left here, still bleeding the way I still am...
 darkness has taking more of my light I'm loosing all sight, of who is me...

My heart full of anguish and grief, depression takes her advantage, of the ease
 I have nothing worth finding joy or enlightenment anyway, she will have me...
I don't have any strength to even consider the thought of even trying this time
 in defending myself against her this time
She only win's by default...

Denise Hopkins


Details | Free verse | |

The Never Ending Battle

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

JS Lambert



Details | Didactic | |

LIFE IN THE 'PROJECTS'

like sparrows on the streets and in caves
consider how they swoop and dive 
and fatten on dusty pizza crumbs 

consider the raccoons how they squawk and squalor 
peck and fight for space to grow fat gray hairs
and live as a family in the wild consider them

consider the homeless man on East Euclid dragging
Giant-Eagle cart on the sidewalk every hour
with rags searching through litterbins for a meal

consider the hare the rabbit the crow and ants
with no pay stubs yet with no long days of boredom
and they lie in cleanest beds and smile at dinner times

then consider me after the gavel and the long sentence
living with cancelled checks crying over lost purpose
scarred of sirens and hunting shelters for meals 

consider me sleeping in fields with dead numbers 
consider me whose far-distant ancestors never crashed
in any trash but drank coffee with Carnegie on his birthday

consider me coming out of institutions that mark me forever
with a bindi that blocks my name from the list of humans
and to live I have to peep through thorn bushes and grunt   


Details | I do not know? | |

If your not the part of the solution your the part of the problem

I’m from the hood where the politicians don’t do squat for the poor/  
I represent the modern day Black man/ 
The Black educated politician and activist that care about only one Damn 
thing when the stuff hit the fan! 
“They Damn Self!” 
It’s like a wise man once said “Never let the left hand know what the right 
hand do” meaning keep all of the right hands right and all of the left hands 
left/ 
Ever since then the tradition has been eating off the next mans death/ 
It’s like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder whether I should go buy 
books or go buy a T.V,/Then again I wonder what’s wrong with these rap artists calling us
window 
shoppers like we nothing!  
Then them same rap artist turn around and beg us to go buy they C.D/ 
“Buy Black Owned!!” 
“Keep the Money in the Hood!” 
That’s all you hear/ 
We tried and it went/ 
Now at the same time I’m behind in my rent/ 
I hate the usage of the word Negroes! 
But when I look at these new condos being built all around Harlem/ 
I realize Negroes got a problem/ The rent not affordable/  
They go do what they wanna do/ just to get Negroes out of Harlem/ 
What happened to all the great MALCOLMS, MARTINS, and MARCUS/ 
Cause all we got now is a bunch of fake FARRAKHANS, SHARPTONS 
and BARRAKAS!/ nah just kidding!Hopefully not my last hope BARAK 
OBAMA! But I wonder when it’s all go stop!/ 
Cause when I look at my peoples now a days/ 
All I see is  
“I see DISASTER!! 
And realize “Yeah we still SLAVES”/ 
But the sad part is 
WE THE MASTER!!     (“let’s stop enslaving our selves”)  
By Lester Marrow


Details | Rhyme | |

Mile

Drenched all over and pupils soaked
Down, this season, a nostalgic walk
A storm, within, of emotions cloaked
Remnant of treason remains to stalk

Contemptuous breach of a covenant shared
You drifted away to regal sounds
Calamity befell less fortunate, spared
My suffering, apparently, knows no bounds

This ride, in ways, is new to find
Each step drawn deeper, I deign
Tears of heaven and mine, combined
Abridged, somewhat, sorrows reign

Sinking daylight, hopes relinquish
Fading mirage intent on proving
Tranquil drive allures to vanquish
Keeps the undead, however, moving

Each moment spent, not unremembered
Each rise, and fall, is but a smother
And soul, from body, is when dismembered
By the side of you, will rest another

Note: This can be read as a reply to "Deliverance"


Details | Sonnet | |

Burning On

My ache licks like a furnace, Silent Spark
For you have further prolonged my patience;
Building on the weak to perturb the dark, 
To surrender selfish sense of silence;
Your silence, an incision to the heart, 
Angers that which disappears out of sight,
That mocks life, to its desolate ill part;
Cowers me out, so far-sight may ignite.
Bright am I now, lost into void and woe,
A panic fire orb which hath poured;
My speech and my prudence still lacketh flow,
Blackened from all heat sorely abhorred
Oh, I do light thee well as I may try
For you I burn on, till the day I die


Details | Light Poetry | |

Depression

          Depression

       Why do I feel like this inside?
Why do I keep all my tears inside?
        Why can't I just fit in?
   To belong to a world,that will except me for whom I am within.
      Why is it so hard to say "I can"?
       Is it because my mind is always in la la land?
    I can't really help the things I do,
I'm mad at the world for what I'v been through.
  No one can seem to understand, that I am what I am!
    I know that I have plenty of disability,
that keeps me from being the person I want to be.
    It hold me back from the things I want out of life.
   I just can't seem to get things right.
    It's so hard for me to see my inner beauty,
when I feel like the world is out to get me!
    I don't want to feel so isolated within,
            I just can't let you in.
      Stop telling me that it's going to be ok.
    You don't know what goes on in my mind,
  and why It's keeps taking me back in time.
  Replaying all the things that happend in my life,
    like I'm a walking recorder device.
      I just can't grasp the real meaning of life.
 I just can't mange to make mine right!
 Why can't I just get over the pain?
To move on, and get away from the past that keeps holding me back.
  I want to feel loved, for who I am.
 That they loved me for me, and not what they want me to be!
I know who I am, I am what you see.
   I can' comperehend sometimes, I can't seem to take things in.
I'm mad at myself, because I'm lost within....
      This is what you call depression!


Details | Tanka | |

System Overload

Darkness consumes me
Corrupted thoughts take over
Soul becomes hollow
Self castigation occurs
Tears of blood destroys all hope


Details | I do not know? | |

'Give me drink, rest, and solitude'

Give me drink, rest, and solitude--
these are all the things I long for.
Give me as well your finest food
and I'll ask of you, lass, no more!

My bonnie lass, what's the matter--
why are you all sorry and alone?
Don't be sad because you're fatter
than most, lass, for love loves its own.

Sweet lass, I'll tell you a secret.
If I were a young lad again,
I'd pursue you without regret!
But as I am three-score and ten

years old, indeed, I can never
be the youthful lad you most need.
But your pain won't be for ever:
for your heart will refuse to bleed.




Details | ABC | |

please (by kimmy holmes, my daughter)

mom
love you
need you
please
love me
need me 
too


Details | Free verse | |

Pandora's Box

Pandora's Box

The skies rip apart
Filling with a hot white fire
The winds blow both hot and cold
Burning and freezing
Birds are replaced by black dragons
Smoking cinders fall like rain
Covering the ground below
Burying people as they run
The ancient gods rise up from the ashes
Full of vengeance and hate
Desiring peace they fight for humanity
What has caused the world such pain?
Pandora's Box has been opened
Hope has died a violent death
The last chance was taken from man
Rains will wash away the ash
The sky will heal
Man will survive
He always has
The gods will return from whence they came
But Pandora's Box will remain empty
Devoid of all hope


Details | Ballad | |

Zero

I was born pale and invisible
In a world
Sees everything 
Everything, everything….but me

Invisible to your touch
And doubt you’ll like me very much
Am I alive?
Was I ever me?

I’m a non-existent cipher
A pointless empty zero
Never added up to anything
A non-existent cipher
Pointless empty zero
Tell me….what does it all mean?

And now I think I want you
Ethereal body
Oblivious mask
And now I think I love you
Intelligent lips
Painted in black

But no need to look my way
Or give me the time of day

Can’t be with you 
In this world
Invisible man 
Never gets the girl

Oh, no...

I’ll find where you are
And watch from afar
You will be felt by me

I’ll find where you are
And watch from afar
You will be loved by me

Your 
Zero 
Tonight
Your 
Zero 
For life
Your zero
The day I die

Your zero….your zero

Zero


Details | Rhyme | |

A Senior's Day

Usually you're all alone
When there's ringing on your phone
An early call that makes you moan
Just wish it was a dial tone
You grab the phone
Press to your ear
Hello who's there?
You calm your fear
A neighbor's voice comes on the line
You know at once
Things are not fine
What will she say?
This voice today
What gives you dread?
Is someone sick?
Is someone dead?
The news you hear will make you sad
You know it will
It's always bad
And so you hear the tragic tale
Another friend
You start to pale
The call ends soon
Someone who once enjoyed her wealth
She seemed to have the best of health
One minute she was doing great
Then death became her sudden fate
No more to say
Another call
That changed your day
The phone's back now
Back on the wall
Who'll call next
Who's next to fall?


Details | Narrative | |

My Downfall

Power and Control was my destiny, I rose from the bottom.
Hoping to become more powerful than you could ever imagine.
But you were my only hope of stopping my madness and hatred.
My passion and love for you was my downfall, it was all for you.
Now I clinch the remains of you, what have I done?
Am I a disgrace, or a foul, for falling so low to you?
I love you, but it seems, the same cannot be said for you.
I killed to be with you, and let this blood be shed.
A reminder that my rise to power, came with its loss.
Let this loss be the the Dagger that I hold.
A dagger of love, which these hands still clinch.
A dagger which shall be the death of me, as it was to you.
  


Details | Rhyme | |

Guilty

Like tires in mud,
Like a knife in my chest,
The visions haunt me,
Until I cannot rest.

I hear those voices,
Crowding in my mind,
Fretting over my words and acts,
Afraid of what they find.

Oh the voices do not rest,
Until they have torn me apart,
The visions, voices like knives,
Driven through my heart.

They are always with me,
Morning,  noon, and night,
They may never disappear, 
No matter how I fight.

To the voices I beg,
To please leave me be,
For the visions to stop,
To the voices I plea.

I beg to stop,
And as for mercy,
I am to confess,
That I, 
Am guilty.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

The Damned

Her devilish eyes beat at me 
taking flesh with every blow,her 
rendered heart beat sounds like 
tribal drum rolls an her skin 
drips venom from its pores , I 
find myself helpless and 
paralyzed , everything else 
seems trivial and meaningless 
to this moment,..she exhales 
smoke and lightning flows from 
her finger tips ,she is the 
antichrist the source of my 
device, but I can't help but give 
her my heart,I question my gift 
but remain entranced caught in 
her red moonlit ritual 
dance,sight of her is blinding , 
she is what Every man  desires 
but can't reach, it feels like 
heaven but I sweat from the 
heat,the pain she inflicts is 
bitter sweet an burns like salt 
in a wound ,she is gods most 
regretted creation born for the 
night with a hunger that cannot 
be fed,hold her down chain her 
up she cannot be contained , 
pentagrams burn white in her 
eyes,she's a shape shifting 
voodoo angel that sleeps with 
vipers ,yet I seek her and 
desire her with every thread of 
my existence and have turned 
into an insomniac who day 
dreams of her , cut by the 
thorns of the rose she wears in 
her hair , always the day of the 
dead and raining razorblades, 
the tree limbs reach out for my 
embrace but every one of them 
are shadowed with her face,I 
close my eyes I can always find 
her there , lay with her in the 
ground every breath she takes 
is sin ,she's a black rosé that 
cannot be changed a black rosé 
that cannot be contained , 
ashes to ashes dust to dust I 
cut my heart to be with her and 
bleed undying trust,it's only 
her....everything else I feel is 
not real .....


Details | Rhyme | |

The Sacrifice of the Forest

haven't laughed much lately
the sound just doesn't hold the same meaning
not when the trees taunt me by dropping their leaves
making me think it's alright to sit quietly, bleeding

death comes so easily for them
and i sit watching each fall with such envy
my autumn has come and gone, and I'm still here
the leaves never have to stay long enough to feel this empty

i sit and imagine myself as one of them
tired and weak, falling, floating, letting go
not having to explain why i couldn't stand up to the wind
everyone understands that I'm just making room for others to grow

letting my life into the soil, finally serving a purpose
what a sense of accomplishment that would be
i can almost taste the anticipation i would feel while falling
knowing that more deserving ones will be able to live because of me

the human existence is far more complicated however
and i find myself staring at the forest in shame
knowing that their death is more noble and self sacrificing
than this self centered depression that i should just try and tame

I manage to peel my mind off the forest floor
amidst all the martyred leaves i wanted so desperately to become
i breathe in the life they have given up and decide
that i can't leave with so much yet to be done


Details | Rhyme | |

A Hole in the Universe

There’s a hole in the Universe
And I can see it from 
My 
Hearse

Driving to the graveyard 
For one final look

While the mourners 
Take photos
Filling an entire 
Facebook

There’s a hole in the Universe
And I can see it from
My 
Noose

Wrapped round my head
For one final jerk

Because I sent you 
Away
And it really
Hurts

But I won’t say a thing
Not a single peep
From a  man 
Made of stone
And the blood of a
Beast

Sing me one last melody
In that way you did
In a La La so sweet
La La La
La La La
My sweet

Sing me one last dirge
For the body 
You once held
In a La La so sweet
La La La
La La La
My sweet

You see

There’s a hole in the Universe
And I  can see it from
My
Place

Where the sky meets
The fire

Roasting hopes upon  
A pyre

And leaves me 

Wanting

One last
Touch

One last
Kiss 

One last
La La

So sweet

A taste of  perfect heaven

The complete Universe

I once found 

In

Your 

Baby Face.


Details | I do not know? | |

"The Princess"

So, I see a princess, all alone
Her beauty clear, her wisdom known
I ask her why she sits, on a floor of stone
Instead of on, an elaborate throne

She gives me a look, of utter confusion
Then asks me why, I live in this delusion
Must it be, that in her seclusion
She cannot be happy, why this conclusion?

I take a minute to wonder
And another to ponder
Why away from riches my mind will wander
And my heart grows fonder

I ask if I may sit with her, but she politely declines
I am startled at this, as my fascination subsides
She gives me a smile, and beautifully chimes
I am happy alone, listening to life’s little rhymes

Again I am struck to a daze
Amidst  confusion and haze
My eyes weaken and begin to glaze
I feel I have wasted many days

How can you be happy alone, I ask
To live life, without sharing your task
To sit here, no metaphorical mask
While right over there, in your birth you can bask

She gives me no answer, just one more riddle
Are you on top, or on the bottom, or stuck in the middle
To your neighbor do you mean much, or less than a little
Does a man play music, or is he a slave to the fiddle?

Though the answer is still haunting
I can hear it from a friends dull taunting
I have chased all that the rich were flaunting
And now I live a life that is lonely and daunting


Details | Verse | |

Spirituals and Drums

My ancestors walking in the night
using oil lights and moonlight for guides
while being instructed to Wade in the Water
to camouflage their scents like disguise

The Sweet Chariot awaited 
so they could ride away
Harriet was a soldier
and it wasn't an option to be caught during the day
That's the same mentality Nat Turner had when he sang
Steal Away

They would follow the drinking gourd
so all were in accord to go north
The Gospel Train was coming
and at the end of the journey
was a fine reward
Freedom was coming
and it was a long time coming and
they walked until they heard freedom bells ringing
and I still hear their tired footsteps running

Thinking of My Darling Nelly Gray
Stolen from my arms a random September day
and eliminated our chances to run away together
No family ties, no love, no strength says the oppressor

Then I hear the drums beat in the darkness
giving me the hope of finally being free
Maybe I'll follow them this time on faith
on bended knee
There must be a place for me among the light
of this darkness
Among oppression, thieves, evil-doers
no thought on their conscience

Thank goodness for the safe houses that
supported our traveled distances
and for the conductors who bore witnesses
and may God have mercy on the souls who
were against this
and on those who chose to forget this sh@!

I still hear crying in quilts of safety 
because I know that the burden was heavy
to be at the mercy of nature and patrol men
catching run-away slaves for money
Some did it bare feet with freedom ahead of this
loved induced journey and they made it
So all that bull about how your life is hard
just stuff it in an envelope and save it



Details | Rhyme | |

Unreality

Am I alive, or dreaming? Sometimes I just can’t tell. If I’m asleep pinch me quickly, and awake me form this hell. If I’m awake give me something to make my eye’s dreary - That I may rest peaceably while the storm rages on in its fury. Am I Alive or dreaming? How can one tell, When logic has lost meaning and reality as well? Or… When tragedy strikes near your tent - Family and friends mourn. A loved one has passed, And you’re the only one not torn. You’ve become nonchalant by default - Frozen in a subconscious state Only a numb soul remains once reality’s escaped! Am I alive, or dreaming? Or am I dreaming that I’m alive? For what it’s worth, can your answers reverse - This cycle of my demise?


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

scared I am losing it

Scared I’m Losing it.
I don’t know what to do my mind so busy things are getting confused. I can’t remember things I’ve been doing or numbers that haven’t changed. I’m catching moments of confusion finding things; Popsicle melted on the counter.
I can’t sleep at night. No matter how tired, sleep eludes me! I can hardly stand myself. I beg God to help me before I lose it. 
I think others notice something wrong. Crying, terrified I can’t hold it together much longer. Fear and panic taking over; what to do, I’m so alone! My heart heavy and my mind confused now a place of insecurities and unsafe moments!
Scared I’m losing it; living in fear as panic hovers, in the blink of an eye I could lose touch with reality. Forgetting where I’m going, what I’m doing; filled with fear; the panicky feeling just below the surface tells me I’m close!
 This, I feared all my life! I did reality checks and watched for warning signs. My Fear’s now coming true. Trying to deal with stress isn’t working.
 I tried to be a good person, doing the best I could. I needed a strong person to lean on loving me no matter what; always putting me first. Having me to trust and rely on my heart was empty. My secrets and dreams I kept, unable to share. My doubts and fears mine alone! 
At times the pain unbearable, my mind explored beautiful places. My guardian angel and to God I talked. My fish; I told my worries.
Scared I’m losing it, I pray as my fears become known and I drown in tears; people will try to understand. I thought I had a method to my madness; however I guess it was just pure madness!
Debbie Knapp
10-11-11


Details | Free verse | |

Jobless

You are now an outsider
No longer part of the mechanism
Not needed, surplus to requirement, redundant
Your mind slowly blunting at the bottom of the bottom drawer of life

The eyes of others betray derision and contempt
Fearful of catching your disease
Keeping a distance, loathing your weakness and inability
A moment of pseudo sympathy and they’re gone, you’re of no further use to them   

Every rejection is an undeniable confirmation of your failure
Affirmation is everywhere; you just never saw it before now
Self-confidence, ground down with every counter-opinion to yours
Your worth is worthless and your prospects worth less than that

Pride declines charity yet you wish they’d persist
Dismissal and a cynical laugh is your antidote to their wise advice
Don’t you think I have thought of that? Or tried this? You say
Embarrassment at your own ineptitude has become hostility

Your child's face is a gallery of unconscious naivety
You draw her in close, a surrogate for decent food and warmth
Inwardly you cry for her and, perhaps, more for you at your inability to provide
You’re not sure how or when it will end but certainly...it will end

Slowly, yet quite perceptibly, you have become the person you once scorned
You now comprehend the reason for their shabby appearance 
You realise that hesitance isn’t stupidity but a fear of making a wrong impression
You can now walk a mile in another man’s shoes…until they wear out


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Controlling Men: Physically, Mentally, and Verbally Abusive Men

All men (the loser boyfriends/husbands) think that it's their right to be physically, mentally, and verbally abusive toward their female companions (girlfriends/wives), well they're wrong. Most guys are always beating their girlfriends/wives up every single day just because they didn't make their men dinner, do chores around the house, or whatever. It seems that these womanizing losers are way better than their women. Actually, they're not; they're idiots. Controlling these women and being physically, mentally, and verbally abusive toward them don't make these Neanderthals men; they're like childish cowards. All guys think that they're the only breadwinners in their families and the women aren't. But guess what--they're not; some of them don't have jobs. And does anyone knows what gets on my nerves? Men always cheating on their girlfriends/wives with other women, getting them pregnant, and not taking care of the children they already have. And those controlling, abusive men, they're always telling their female spouses/lovers what to do, what to eat, where to look, and who to talk to. I mean, who are these womanizing losers to judge other men and to boss these women around? I mean, who does that? Everybody doesn't even know why they'd bother spending the rest of their lives with those abusive idiots. This whole saying by these controlling abusive men have been getting on everybody's nerves and my nerves, as well: "You're-not-to-speak-unless-spoken-to," this "You're-not-to-talk-to-your-family" ordeal, this whole "You're-not-to-have-guy-friends," and this whole "You need me! You're nothing without me! You have no money! You have no friends! Everything's in my name: the house, the cars, clothes, everything I own! You're useless! You're worthless! I own you for life! And you will respect me!" Where I come from, the rest of us nicer guys, we treat our women with the respect they rightfully deserve. The last time I checked, the mothers have raised their sons to treat women and other people with respect, but they now know where they've gone wrong with those womanizing clowns. My suggestion for the women is for them to leave their abusive husbands/boyfriends before it's too late because if they don't, they'll end up in the hospital or the morgue. To be honest, these women, they never should've met, let alone dated or married those abusive men to begin with. And if these abusive men think that they can control those women forever, they've got another coming.


Details | Rhyme | |

Living Without

I tried to write about love but I haven’t felt it. 
I tried to write about the sea but I’ve never seen it. 
Then I tried to write about the air, but I have never breathed it. 
I tried to write about magic but I never believed it.
I couldn’t write about god, all I have ever done is sinned.
And when I tried to write about life I found, 
I have never really lived.


Details | Villanelle | |

The Solitude

My loneliness bleeds but is not stained,
What has become of this light of day?
A solitude of thoughts so mixed, so pained.

The comfort of the night on darkness rained,
To wander the streets with naught to say,
My loneliness bleeds but is not stained.

To walk down the alley, narrow and tear-drained,
Watching for a sign but leading me astray,
A solitude of thoughts so mixed, so pained.

This hurt that covers, a veil ingrained,
Finds me getting on an empty subway,
My loneliness bleeds but is not stained.

Travelling to nowhere by fate ordained,
Until the distance feels furthest away,
A solitude of thoughts so mixed, so pained.

To undergo the sound and suffering so sustained,
 I find myself too hesitant to pray,
My loneliness bleeds but is not stained.
A solitude of thoughts so mixed, so pained.


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Rhyme | |

Death by Beauty

A smile moves across her lips
She gazes at her crime
A scar across her flesh and soul
To haunt her for all time
She’ll waste away for all she cares
Never stops to use her brain
Doesn’t care about the ones who are close
All she cares about is pain

She wants to be what the others expect of her
Doesn’t care about the self-respect for her
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Can’t she see what all she has got
Already?

Never to go back again
She feels the world is at an end
She will never show her grief
Although she’ll cry in empty streetS

She’d sooner live like a desolate mole
Living in fear in an empty hole
Screaming silent wails alone
Content to live in her mental home

A final tear falls from her eye
It hits the ground, it’s followed by
A beautiful body, mutated by hate
A kind word could have stopped it, but it is too late
One two many bricks in the wall in her mind
Molding her demise because her heart was blind
This self conscious being could never have won
For she was destroyed by the beautiful ones

She wouldn’t fight back, wouldn’t respect herself
In the end, she managed only to wreck herself
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Little did she know, she had all she had sought
Already


Details | Couplet | |

Indigenous I Am, from the Stolen Generations

This is a journey, a trip call it what you will It follows the footsteps of my ancestors, and allows my thoughts too spill Firstly let me take you back, to tell you so little of my past Indigenous I am, from the "Stolen Generations" I did not last This is why I must make this journey, to allow me to find the real me To retrace the few steps I made, to rediscover what my young eyes seen How ironic that the person I'll ride with, is the son of the then official Whose deliberation to round up us children, the scene, locale It's now the morn of our travel, where I look I find hard to see The peripheral of the distant horizon, is all that really captures me The town where I grew up so young, barely to the age of five Perth, now bustles like a termites nest, zig zagging in busily strive Into the bush we go, to a place where us youngsters so enjoyed Moore River Native Settlement, which soon became children void As I walk my arid lands, patterned in the heat of this day I recall with every step, where us Indigenous children played We could survive on the smallest of fruit, water we could easily find Even the son of the then official, said that we are a superior kind He marvelled when I spotted tracks, traces of where animals crossed Remembering back to when I was five years old, our lands always talked We opened up as we led our horses, introduced all those centuries ago They opened up my lands, rivers we walked, now the white man flows This is a journey I had to make, it's called, it's in my will No more "Stolen Generations" no more will my culture spill


Details | Acrostic | |

OIL SPILL

O ut of control
I t shouldn't have happened
L ots of destruction

S hame on BP
P lease stop this disaster
I irrate and upset
L ots is at stake
L oss of God's creations


Details | Rhyme | |

The Wilting Girl

Petals wilting, one by one, Falling where they may Still burning with insanity, And pain that's here to stay Petals falling, one by one, In the hands of strong desire Burning in a heart of passion, Only filled with fire Petals falling, one by one, Floating down with empty bliss It's too late to bring their color back, So say goodbye with one last kiss Petals falling, one by one, With only hate, and pain If only there had been more sun, If only there had been less rain


Details | Narrative | |

Christmas Rebels (2).

But night’s bell came with tears and without love,
As our bamboo door talked,
“KNOCK! KNOCK!!”
Before my voice could speak,
Legs ruined down my door,
Then eyes in different heights
In the starry night like 
Torch lights… attacked 
Me with their voices.
They came in mass,
Some brandishing cutlass,
Some matchets, guns and arrows.
Gang upon gangs,
Displaying their flags,
Blood stained, tattered, hair, shaggy.
They held human heads for their 
Oracles of war.
They were muttering songs as if 
Forced to sing,
They had leaves and grasses in the 
Middle of their mouths, they were mostly teens, 
They were the Hausa rebels… 
“Wait! Wait!! Wait!!!
Where are the bells?
Is this day not Christmas?”
I was asking myself,
A short tick man came out of the mass,
Not looking like human,
He looked backed at the rest,
Feeling like the best.
He weakened my hear drums 
By the manner of his question,
“Hausa or Birom?”.
To send my religion to the bottom?
Whom for this day, is Christmas? 
And sweet Messiah’s Calvary at Golgotha?
I wasn’t prepared for that, 
So the truth came out like a blast
“Birom!!”.
“Yee! Yee!! Yee!!!
Enemy tribes” they shouted 
Like savage talking drums.

(To be continued in the next, same Poem).


Details | Lyric | |

Save Me

Save Me
By: IzaDonna

Look in the mirror
Do you recognize her
Do you see the coldness in her eyes
Do you see where the darkness lies
Hidden secrets of the past
To late, the spells been cast
And as the stars arise
My own self will be my demise

Chorus:
So you think you can save me
Finally set my retched soul free
Be my ultimate savior
You thinking ur doing me a favor
But just let me alone
My fate is only my own

I get u try and u care
But thru it all u weren't there
I cant move on from my past
The agony I feel will always last
The knife is in way to deep
So let me shut my eyes and sleep
Cause u can't fix whats already broken
The pain I feel is better left unspoken

Chorus

So as the darkness creeps in
I feel I'm paying for my sins
No way to escape
My soul is yours to take
Just let me bleed these tears
Just let me lay here
Looking up at the sky
I ask God why

Chorus

Cause you can't fix what isn't broken
The pain is better left unspoken


Details | Rhyme | |

I Think About How Ths Country Has Changed



Over the years, I think about how this country has changed.
It’s like “right vs. wrong” has been “rearranged.”

We’re told that a separation from man and God exists.
Yet the handiwork of God is in our very midst!

Rather than seeking to obey God’s word and rules.
Our courts have turned this country into “fools.”

The whole idea of marriage is often very confusing.
Many don’t think about the wrong path they’re choosing!

Government often passes laws that provide a “moral instability.”
We’ve often lost our respect for a Godly type of morality.

As people’s lives get filled with lusts of various kinds.
Many are wandering around with very confused minds!

“One nation under God” is too often under attack.
As this country is quickly “getting off track!”

If “change” is what you want, or what you’re looking for.
Think about the purpose of life you’re meant for!

The direction you need to travel,
 is to the Lord in prayer.
Wherever you are...  
He will meet you there!

Christ alone removes any “God or state” separation.
By his shed blood and his gift of salvation!

There’s no Supreme Court near heaven’s gates!
There’s a God who loves who, and anxiously waits!

He longs for you to receive his life eternal.
So he can put your name in heaven’s journal!

Won’t you allow his love to cleanse you within?
And experience the atonement for every sin!

May the Lord bring to us all a healing and restoration!
He is the only true hope for our great nation!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Empty

And when I learned that you died
How can I describe
The empty
Empty
Empty

You were my boxer in the night
Sparred with you 
About every aspect of
Life

My secret tonic
Made everything
Feel alright
Got me through it all
All the frustrations
Disappointments of 
Life

And when I learned that you died
How can I describe
The empty
Empty
Empty

We called each other friend
Even when
Our bodies came together
That single
Lunatic
Moment

That single 
Lunatic
Time

And it felt so 
Full
You made me feel
Full
How can I describe 
The full
Full
Full

My life was full
When you laughed
It felt so full even
When you 
Cried

The times I was mean

And my body left
Your body
After 
That single
Lunatic 
Time

And so we pretended 
We were just
Friends
In the end
We pretended
Then

And now you’re 
Gone

And I can barely speak
Or write 
I can barely write
A 
Single
Meaningful
Poetic
Word

And there’s a quiet room
In my mind
Where your laughter
Once
Played
My innocent child
Woman
Gone 
Away

How can I describe
The Empty
Empty 
Empty

How can I describe
The empty
Empty
Empty

How can I describe
The
Way
I
Feel?


Details | Rhyme | |

The Hunger Game

Come little children- come and eat-There’s plenty all scattered about
Stale flat bread and biscuit crumbles -You must dig them out
Banana peelings and lettuce leafs -You may clean the dirt off neat
Perhaps the peelings of a Fu Fu dish- just to make a sweet
Come little one- come and eat- The little child’s belly cries
The flies will lead you to bush meat- the maggots where it lies 
Coconut and cassava cakes- perhaps a little rice
Just below the burning heap where the neighbor’s dead dog lies
The smorgasbord lies beyond the hill-the town’s other side
Forgive the stench- just pass the boneyard -where your nine year old brother died


Details | Elegy | |

Sweet Sorrow

I have hid mine heart,
Within a prison cell,
Dark and cold,
Whose key, only you hold.

I have buried mine memories,
Within the sands of time,
None is bare,
Those secrets, only you and I 
share.

From thenceforth do we part,
From light and into darkness 
do I tarry,
Into perdition,
E'en to the close of my time.

The memory of you, doth 
linger,
E'en as the flowers, sprout on 
graves,
And as the sun, doth shine,
E'en on the viper,

So I, e'en through the curse of 
time,
Tarry forth, 
E'en to the sunset of my life,
These memories, a constant 
companion.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

The Most Likely to Succeed

All the windows down.
Shades drawn.
Door locked.
Against the imitation mahogany, a little manila card:
"Check out time:  3 o'clock."

Click!
All dark now.
Hmmmmm.
The Wizard Deluxe 16" Oscillating Fan
makes a lot of noise.
Click.
It's too cool anyway.


Whew!  Those ugly flowers on the rug!
I can almost smell them.
And the bedsprings creak.

What am I doing here...
the Big Guy...
the Smart Alec with All the Ideas...
the Joe Who Was Going Places...
the Most Likely to Succeed...
Huh!  If they could only see me now.

Well, here goes nothing.
I guess I'd better, now...
if ever, now!


Details | Narrative | |

Loneliness

Loneliness engulfs him
consumes him
like an arsons match
he ignites the bond
setting their relationship ablaze
now...that foundation
simply reduced to a pile of ash
in a distant haze

Loneliness entangles him
weaves thru him
like diseased roots of an aging tree
they wrap around his feelings
squeeze out emotion
and eventually choke the life
out of his reality

Loneliness is his soulmate
now...
and for all the years
joined together by selfishness and fate
at the expence
of someone else's tears
now, as the years drip away
they quietly disappear
leaving no trace
but landing ever so gently
and all to clearly
upon his lonely artificial face
though it's not by choice
that this partnership remains
but as a cruel reminder
of a love lost
and a heart tragically stained...

 


Details | Rhyme | |

Love Sick

The weight is dark and heavy, Like black waters swirling deep It ebs and flows with selfish tugs As blood-stained tauntings seep. The waves have gone with reason, The mem'ries flood the shore As it touches sand with reaching hands It pulls back, then grasps for more. Deep below, the darkest pits The sharpest rocks will wait so calm; As soon as swimmers brush the edge They'll bleed in natures palm. I've dipped my toes in, felt it cold, Rememb'ring shivers dry; I'll pull my legs back to my chest, With only waves to feel you by.


Details | Free verse | |

A Granddaughter's Pain

That horrible day she heard those words.
The cawing of those dreadful birds.
The pain in her chest found its way to her eyes.
Her breath came out in only short sighs.
Her sister there to hold her hand,
Trying to be strong for the both of them.
The day had come, they knew it would.
But faster than it probably should.
They made as much noise as they possibly could.
Anything to  keep away the silence of death,
And as the tears kept falling, 
they did their best,
To try and forget this disastrous mess.
But as hard as they denied it, 
they knew it was true.
He was gone from this world, 
wasn’t meant for it too.
The last words he spoke, 
were held to be true.
“ when all the feelings had been felt,
And all the tears shed.
Let the acceptance begin.”
They echoed again and again.


Details | Concrete | |

Observer

A serpent underneath blue sky,
in shade of man, in twinkle of an eye,
above brick wall, in the structure, at the floor,
venom of white dove; contaminated food, undrinkable water,
misguided youth, pregnant daughter, unfaithful father and hateful son,
mothers do pray while we walk through Babylon;
on teli and in the press, on top shells,
price none the less, in bedroom and at your door..
dawn of a new day seemed to be dark,
after all.


Details | Imagism | |

Unlucky I ams

I am a 2 gig desktop computer in the 21st century,
A phone model that’s just been phased out,
How can I convince the youngsters that I also had my days?
I am a Tata Nano right in the midst of a formula one race
Dwarfed and outshined

I am that athlete who finishes fourth in a photo finish
Yes just outside the podium positions
A toilet tissue,
Doing the worst job there is out there
I can’t win can i?

I am that politician sitting in opposition for fifty years
I may never attain pole position
Feel for that frail and ageing prince,
For his mother, The Queen keeps going strong
He may never reach promisedland

I am that sad student,
Repeating a paper because of that elusive single mark
You know I’m that hurdler
The one who led a final only to stumble at the last obstacle
I tried basketball
But every shot I tookwas an air ball

I am that mother who can’t identify the father of my child
I am that teenage boy who’s just lost a fight to a little girl
I’m that fellow who forgets an umbrella on a rainy day
Think of that performer acting in an empty arena
The comedian whose jokes are dry

I’m a broken guitar
I’m a cracked mirror
I’m three legged chair
I’m but a leaking roof
Life is not at all fair 
Everything seems aloof

I was small league star
But I barely leave a mark in top flight
I was a big fish in a small pond
I’ve become small fish in a big sea
Out of my depth but I will not stop trying

Yes I missed many penalties in my life 
Hit the post when my team was down
Had my fair share of own goals
I cut myself when I shave
But that doesn’t stop me

I will hit the reset button
Reboot the system if necessary
I have a master plan
A wonder drug and it will work
Or will it?


Details | Didactic | |

A Poem (Hebrews 13:5)

Anger consumed within me,

Rage passed continually by.

A mixture of blue and red,

Blinding the dim light inside me.

 

Once the light was like a flaming torch,

Such a torch that can be compared to the sun.

But even the sun rests, the flames can be vanquished

Only the night was witnessed until the morning dawned.

 

I was created to love you.

This was the only purpose,

But I chose to reject you.

How foolish of me to compose.

 

Given many chances to accept,

Welcome the love higher than my mother,

I was in an asylum locked by my choice.

"No more!" I uttered. 

 

A glowing door suddenly appeared,

"Who could it be?" I questioned.

It opened; a figure so bright glanced at the corner,

"My child, fear not," the figure mentioned.

 

I took his offering hand.

Richness of everlasting springs of water,

The right hand of infinite life.

We departed blissfully as He catered

 

"Do not sow any longer, for you are here with your Father,"    

I began to weep as a baby weeps for his mother.

"My child, for you were once lost but now have been found."

A final tear inching below, the Devil will no longer bother.


Details | Free verse | |

The IRONY of my DREAM

I can see the dream I'm dreaming
It's so beautiful, so alleviating
It's the alliteration of everything compelling
It's an epitome of petulant imaging

It's me metamorphosing into greatness
Bearing the trophy of poetry highness
I can feel the gaiety on my success
And the scenery of  my upliftment

But it's only a dream, not reality
It's just a film in  my head, not an actuality
It's the absolute notion of melancholy
The maestro of maudlin deformity

It's a prototype of an implicit onerous display
A melodrama that reclines on a fairy tale
The model of an unswerving galling replay
Like a pungent smell, unwanted but makes it's way

I can't triumph over over-lords of the pen
I can't defeat the dominating combatants of content
I can't outsmart the ten over tens
I just can't win this contest

But I CAN do one thing
Dream of  my WIN


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

A Survivor's Story

I wake up to a deserted town
"Where are the people?"
I ask myself aloud.
"Gone." answers a voice.
But no one's here...
but me.

Broken glass litters the street, 
a Kristallnacht in the making.
Houses, half gone and half standing,
specked the dirt road.

I lay, pinned to the ground by a monstrous wall...
I don't know if I'll be able to move...
but I must try. 

"Hello! Anyone there?"
No reply.... just what I thought.
As distress fills my heart,
I use that anger and helpless feeling to my advantage
and somehow
I managed to lift the heavy burden off my chest.
But this was a small victory in what seemed to be WW II.

ALAS! I remember.
This is WW II....
and the US had just dropped something...
something unusual on my town...
I'm surprised I'm still alive.

The explosion was enough to kill all of my native land, 
Japan.
But it only stopped 2 miles from the heart of my country,
Tokyo.
But no time for reminiscing. 
I must find a way out of this...
hell.

A sharp pain in my chest heaves me to the ground,
I've seen this ground so many times, face to face.
Something starts to lunge itself out of my mouth.
When I look down, I notice
that it is my own blood.

I knew I must find a hospital, quick, 
but which way was which?
Was East West? Was West South? 
Was North behind me? Was South ahead?

I sulked in defeat as I trudged along a snake-like road...
a road to nowhere. 

I grew weary, hungry, tired
but I knew I must walk on.
Every few minutes, I'll drop to my knees
and cough up my life support, 
but I couldn't let that stop me.

The sun went down,
but I didn't.
The moon rose,
I kept walking.
The sun started his day-shift, 
but I was at work all night,
counting steps and listening my heart beat.

Finally, I lost the will to live,
I wanted to die, 
I waited to die...
But death didn't come.

I spit up blood every few seconds now.
Life leaving me with every breath.
I close my eyes, and draw in my last breath.

Muffled sounds reach my ears.....
I try to look but my vision's blurred.
Everything blacks out.

"I will not be defeated" 

My vision is back.... I see people...
Everything blacks out.

"I will not be defeated"

I see their faces now, splattered with dirt and dust
Everything blacks out.

"I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!!!!!"

I CAN SEE!

"Are you with us?!"
A desperate cry reaches my ears.
And I reply, 
"Yes. Yes I am."


Details | Couplet | |

Nicholas

Pluck your soft and gentle strums, Forcing out your fading hums Sing forgotton words, now empty, That used to tug my tears a plenty Whisper through soft lips, the truth, Awakening your dying youth Words of saddening emptiness, Between the Bars, just one more kiss Mumbling lyrics, fumbling strums, Forcing out the softest hums Brush the air with every breath, Until all sound is put to death


Details | Ballad | |

Isolation

How can I tell you?
I can't stay with you.

Neither I can give up on you.
Fear of losing you is losing me.
It feels like slow death every night.

But we are just stuck in our spaces!
Unable to connect from two feet distance.


Details | Light Poetry | |

A Change in His Love

Is my love for him still there?
What is it as time goes by?

Is it a flame thats being constantly ignited,
  Every minute? Every second? Every mili-second?

Or is it just a flame thats burning away the wax of the candle,
  Soon to be vanquished with nothing but smoke that is to disappear,
    As well, into the atmosphere?

Love...Love is what i feel...

But as each day passes i am saddened more and more.
A mask is what i wear to hide the pain, the depression, the despair.

I once was a rose,
  full of beauty and life.
Now im withering,
  And slowly dying inside.

How could the love of my life
  Choose another man?

A deep shock to others it may be,
  But i knew what his choice was from the very beginning.


Details | Lyric | |

Piece of my Past

walking along the beach today,
i saw you,
you looked at me, then slowly 
walked away,
you had told me that you were 
different from the last,
but you turned out to be 
just a piece of my past,
you really know how to make 
me hurt,
was it love? 'cause im no expert,
i thought it was, at the time,
but now lookin back,
you were never mine.


Details | Free verse | |

They're Watching You

They're watching you,
they're always watching you,
check out the daily news.

Henchmen rob bank,
two officers killed,
change channel.

Reality T.V.
a celebraity stumbling out of a club,
drunk as hell.

Change channel,
a gay couple buying a house,
in a white collar neighborhood.

They're watching you,
they're always watching you,
even when you don't know it.

Someone is always watching you.
Take out the trash,
wash the dishes.

Watching,
survalling,
like a camera.

Terrorists,
they're always watching you,
Politians always watching you.

School teachers,
police,
FBI and CIA
Always watching you.

Smile for the camera
they're watching
so just wave and smile.

Bullies on playground jungle-gyms
looking out for the ugly nerd,
found him.

Hiding under the woodchips,
get him, beat him up,
I told you, they're always watching you.

Look at me,
look what I can do,
can you see me?

I'll drink to that,
cheers,
for they're always watching.


Details | I do not know? | |

The acquiescence

Am I not man to stand the pain?
Open up the gates of torture!
Endless flames may burn my flesh,
may in my soul be a real scorcher!
I will endure the hurting ache!
So tear away the scurf of scars
- unhealed deep wounds in my own heart
engraved like deadly memoirs.

Oh like a fool I longed to see
what couldn’t last, as wise man says.
I remember all the afflict
on which long years oblivion lays.
I stand and open my arms wide
to feel the power of nightmare.
Come thunderbolt of madness, come!
Embrace me horror, hug me scare!


Details | Free verse | |

Bleeded Out

More things can happen or could have happened,
From a cold metal,
Sharpened in fine fettle,
Making skin nettled,
Damaging the mettles,
To keep minds unsettled,
Provoking to ask, if this is or if this was real or mental?

Blade on arms,
Skin might be harmed;
Skin was gashed,
Blade grinding and gnashed,
Red colors coming in a flash...

Blade on gut,
Feeling a sudden jut,
Provoked as a rut,
But, this was a guff...

Blade on neck,
Thinking about a sudden sweep,
Discord trying to overcome conviction and peace,
Even though, the blade failed again,
Failing to provoke the red gushes and streams...

Blade on heart,
Might be the last battle so far,
Trying to not give in, being so hard,
Though in the past, there could have been to many cuts,
And more deadly slashes,
Creating red splashes and plashes,
As I slowly might have fought, winning or losing,
Against the sleeping and life flashing feeling,
As I bleeded out..


Details | Rhyme | |

Pain Became My Friend Today

Pain became my friend today
She showed me how to hide
She’d been watching from a distance
Every tear I cried

Pain became my friend today
Reached out her hand to me
Then pulled me into darkness
Introducing misery

Pain became my friend today
Emptying my heart
She’s now my constant companion
Tearing me apart

Pain became my friend today
She isolates my soul
Now without her I am nothing
In her I’m consoled

Pain became my friend today
When she saw me kneel down and cry
Then she lay down right next to me
To kiss my joy good-bye

Pain became my friend today
She introduced me to the sorrow
Who showed me how to dwell in agony
And fear the break of tomorrow

Pain became my friend today
Making my heart cold
Pain became my friend today
The only hand I hold


Written by Shannen Wrass
Copyright © 1995 Shannen Wrass. All Rights Reserved


Details | I do not know? | |

On The Edge Of Sanity

The heart is heavy, and the burden won’t be borne away, I seek the sun beyond the 
weeping moon, among the mourning stars, I seek for hope in the faces of those 
forsaken spirits, I moan silently, wailing for the diseased dream, and the rain softly 
washed away the remained memory of the sunlight, leaving only darkness in the 
horizon.

I weep delightfully, as I amputate the hanging wish, releasing my soul from the ghost 
of hope; comfortably I sank in grief, unwilling to rise, refused to pass through, this 
comfort drifted in my veins so ruthlessly I almost couldn’t breath.

Oh, woe for the dreams that kept me hanging on the edge of sanity, and woe for those 
promising tomorrows that faded in the ashes of solitude, for the foolish in me had finally 
crossed the way to the fairyland where a heart can dwell in peace.

you can find my writings at:
http://echoes19.wordpress.com/


Details | Bio | |

Try Walking In My Shoes

You'll only collapse and fall and tear your knees open,
Shut your mouth, you cant even imagine what hell I've broken.
Blood leaking from my head everyday only makes me lose my mind,
You wouldn't even survive a minuet in my shoes if you were on my grind.

You say you know everything about me and how to live your own life, 
but face it tho, every night your left alone sitting with a knife.
I defeated that part in life where i have to do something for someone,
walking around with my "Ex Wife" as if it were my gun.

So please stop talking like you know what you got your self into,
cause if i were you i would open my eyes and pray that I'm not true. 
So here it is, if you want to walk a bit in these shoes of mine, go ahead, 
But I can promise you only one thing, in the end you'll end up Dead.


Details | Romanticism | |

To Be Apart

Her smile always greets me
As I close my eyes each night
The love in her voice is comforting
With passion, she's burning so bright

A sparkle in her eyes
And a fire in her heart
Let's spend together our lives
Couldn't stand To Be Apart

To Be Apart would destroy me 
Reduce me to the tears
Without her right beside me
All throughout the years

I don't know what I'd do
If I ever had to restart
And oh how much I'd lose
If we were To Be Apart

The most beautiful girl I'd ever seen
With every desirable too
She was everything to me
When we're apart, oh what will I do?


Details | Rhyme | |

Stones

Your words are like stones
Whether skipped or thrown
Destination unknown
They fly alone
Bruising and breaking deeper than bones

Yet pain from these stones will never be shown.

Whether near or far
She'll faithfully wait
Till the unknown date
When those stones are kind and lost of hate

You make mistakes 
Yes she can relate
But what if the pain becomes to great
Whe the kindness comes too late

Such small pieces of her heart
whats left to make
She gave to much
Now there's none to take

Just one everlasting ache 
That your stones did create

They say you can never retake
A women's heart once it breaks

So next time withhold the quake
Your stones with take
And keep this lesson
As a dear keepsake.

<3 Kalee Lynn




Details | Narrative | |

A missive from the damned to whoever have a little time to spend with this nonsense - Page 1

And so, I have made up my mind, once more.
I have decided to depart, to bid this husk farewell.
In order to do that, I must save coins if I desire to save myself.
For with it, I will be able to buy my ticket out here to a more blessed realm or the eternal void. Either way, I will be winning.
I mustn't, any longer, feel the starvation of affection and no more I shall be fed by the crumbs of fleeting joy they toss at me.

Thoughts of finishing are always in my mind, flooding it, making hard to go day by day, making hard to sleep, to have hope.
I fail to see where the hope is, I like to think that it can be find inside of one's heart.
But even so, I think I am mistaken, and when I glance at myself in the mirror, I quickly lose any spark of what could-be hope.

With the aid of the metallic sling, I shall leave this husf behind, heavy with its sins and sorrows, to no more nourish hatred.
For it does only to hinder my advance towards elevation.
With my metallic sling, I shall pierce, first, my heart, where lies the sorrow, then, my mind, where resides the sins.
Whilst the life in me start to wane, regrets I will not have, when my consciousness fade, my spirit will be no longer be trapped inside this imperfect cage of flesh.
Being free, my spirit shall roam far and beyond to, before, unseen places by men, to  untouched places by men.

Another day,someone inquired me "Are you happy now?" and for that I just said "Yes". How else could I have responded if not with a lie?
How could I tell them that I yearn for a premature closure in order to stop thinking and feeling but I also yearn for love.
"I am not absolutely happy, as per say, but I do suffer less when I am asleep" I could never say that to anyone...


Details | Ballad | |

A Better Life...

A Better Life

I don't know why she hides,
I don't know why she shivers,
I don't know why she cries,
I don't know why she quivers,

Daddy's girl is all alone,
And I don't know how to help her,
Daddy's world is all but blown,
And I don't know what to tell her,

What happened to her confidence,
And her self assured way,
Which used to be so prominent,
In all she did or would say,

Who stole my little girl’s heart,
And drove her to such confusion,
She now slowly does her part,
As if all she has is illusion,

She knows I would kill any other man,
For doing such harm to my little girl,
But this is much more than I can stand,
As it has forever blown apart my world,

They took ‘steps’ to the next level,
And now they each look to me in despair,
I warned them each to be careful,
But the forbidden fruit they shared,

Now I look at one without trust,
Yet I still love my son so very much,
I still hold her distant as I must,
But she needs Daddy’s healing touch,

Why do I have to be the bad guy,
When my children need my help,
I pushed one out and I still cry,
While I can't help her help herself,

There is no way to win here,
And my tears won't stop falling,
I have lost them both I fear,
And my fears won't stop calling,

I don’t know what to do anymore,
Or how I can help either of them,
Both children my heart cries out for,
But the truth is neither can win, 

And for this my darling kids,
I am so sorry I can’t decide,
Which to disown or which to kiss,
When I am actually on both your sides,

So I pray that both her and him,
Of whom I am so very proud,
Do not give up and become victims,
Who wear this pain like a shroud,

I pray both of you hear my advice,
Get over this hardship and understand,
This lesson with its terrible price,
Is one where you do as best you can,

To forgive and move on from here,
Without Dad having to choose a side,
And to let go of all that you fear,
If you want to grow to have a better life.


Details | Lyric | |

I Can't Say It Without You

I was your never ending composer
We spent many a nights, and many an hour together
But now you’re lost inside
And I can’t find my way, again.

( chorus )
Cause I can’t say it without you		
It hurts to be without the feeling		
Never knowing when it will return		
But I know that you would stay with me	
If you came back, again some day		
But till then I’ll wait till you appear.	

I really miss the way you make me feel
People said we were meant to be together
Why’d you leave me so unexpectedly
I hope you come back soon.

( Chorus )

It’s been two months since I’ve written you
All I’ve got to show is crumpled bits of paper
The passion and creativity is now gone
So come back home so I can work it out.	


Details | Ballad | |

Cassandra

Revelation Said In Stone Appeared an Eon ago of Shame and Sin, Something we all know But not it's rise, For is has already became Virtue Flaming Skies from an Angel So Bright The World's Cure for Soul-Blight A Hell on Earth A Savior's Worth So many Dreams are cast then Forgotten So many lives are brought up then just Thrown back down Maybe she is The Cure Maybe she is The Plan All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Release me and Burn away this land Hold me by The Hand Tell me the past is just pretend Give me The Cure If this is your destiny Then May it be mine I would die in time I'm Just another Obstacle In the way of your divine Wings Forget me Cassandra For Doom was already meant for me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Valkyrie of Heart Angel of Grace I surrender to You Savior by Destiny Dispel all Tragedy Especially me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim


Details | Rhyme | |

Bukowski

Was it said before? Sure.
Was it said this way? I doubt it.
Perspective is in no way obscure,
And his works are nothing without it.

His motivation’s observed in daily life,
Misery, not just some vague inspiration.
He begs for reason, some way to lessen strife;
His words reflect a resounding desperation.

There seems a need at times to clarify, 
But that’s allowed in his terms only;
So many thoughts seem somewhat ‘rarefied’,
Fed his fire, but made him lonely.

No ‘underachiever’, not just another fool,
But still seeking solace by the glass;
Tempering his stagger and his drool 
With just a bit of ‘kiss my ass.’ 

But, usually, genius ‘sots’ come to ground,
Lucid moments - on the square;
Their driving ‘bolts’ of genius, word or sound,
Only written because they dare.

Yes, you can feel the written “heart”,
But few of us can realize that sort of pain;
No isolated misery… of many lives a part,
Each begs an answer... “Who’ll stop the rain?”

Yes, he’s lived it, seen it, and told it well;
But Timing is the Master of one’s Fate.
Is the timing right?  Funny…only time will tell…
Will you will be a whining sot or dare to be great?

One success can be lucky, we’ve seen that before.
One book, one song, then quietly fade away.
But six novels later, we should know the score;
He must have had something to say.

So, at the perfect time, someone heard.
Someone who was “someone” took someone under wing.
And to those with interest and empathy, they sold his words;
Saying they “are genius” and with “ugly truth” they ring.

But did he create any redeeming changes or impacts?
Yes, what singular influence did all his artful whining bring?
None... just a relentless, repetitive diatribe of sad facts.
Oh, yes…..and a little “ching ching”.

Entered in the "Idiot or Genius" contest 27 March 2014

not so genius

 


Details | Quintain (English) | |

Mom

The thought of you makes me feel choked
Speaking your name is like swallowing glass
If you were in my arms you would be blood soaked
The foul memories of you never pass

You did nothing good for me
Made me feel like i was rotting inside
I tore out my eyes cause you were all i could see
I wanted to kill you, so i tried

You filled my mind with corrupt thoughts
Forced me to say lies like "love you lots"
But my hate for you, you can never comprehend
I want to watch your pain never end

Why do you keep me here tormenting me
Cant you see what you did to me
Why do you act like you did nothing to make my heart sore
I hate you so what am i here for

You took away everything i ever cared for
I will hate you in my heart to the very core
I want to spill your guts on the floor
Because every day i hate you more and more!


Details | Epitaph | |

Concrete Ribbons

On roads to nowhere/everywhere
white crosses dot the countryside seeking
a final resting place abandoned now to 
wait for plastic flowers to be placed as if 
somehow this will bring closure to loved ones 
who mourn their passing from interstate to ether state
from sadness to glory from son daughter mother father 
grandfather orphan to eternal rest. 
White crosses maybe one maybe five 
returning to death no longer alive. 
one brief instant horror to blessed rest
on a cold siding/a concrete ribbon/
a drainage ditch/a nowhere road.
Are they resting there or are they crying 
to let them be with others in this clay
state that means nothing.
now the remains of yesterday clinging to memories faded as
the plastic flowers/teddy bears/grayed out names that 
mean nothing to but a simple few who will 
not let them rest.
Oh my soul mourns to let them free 
let Jeanette go free Bill S. on that lonely road
let B.R. road worker lay his tools and vest and
hard hat down Fred S. is a memory nothing more 
nothing less/let them rest … we long to be at rest 
not be looked upon by passersby who 
wonder why our crosses are in the middle of 
Nowhere/we are nowhere to be found.
We cry for justice of the past/let us sleep where 
we are not where the metal and pain and stench and broken
glass found us …


Details | Rhyme | |

Slumber

How he sleeps in the corners of darkness, . . In the welcoming sorts in my mind; Will he sleep until the blood flow halts, And the secrets I've kept must unwind? For he stirs in the bit of what's conscious, Though hiding in what sha'nt awake . . How long will he keep my sorrows comp'ny, How long 'til my walls of stone break? These 'mares have woke me from slumber, And smothered my dreams full of peace; No matter how quiet he sleeps in my head, My heart still refuses release


Details | Free verse | |

How Far Will You Fly

How far will you fly?
Cross continent? Moonward?
Across the room?
When will you depart?
Through which gate?
Let me fly with you.
You won't even notice me,
On the wing,
Clinging for life (and love).
Why do you flee me,
choosing a destination
from which it will be
impossible
to book a return?


Details | Limerick | |

Life on the corner

There once was this girl who was pretty
Who resided in New York City
Got mugged Friday night
Weak attempt at a fight
Life as a harlot is such a pity


Details | Light Poetry | |

Fatherless Child

There once was a day I would watch every airplane.
Praying you was on it to come take me away.
As a child I wanted you around until the day, you actually came.
The day you came is the day my life forever changed.
I remember as if it was yesterday when you physically violated me.
Mental visions as early as the age of eight, but old enough to vociferate.
Visualizing mental pictures in my mind while I am awake very aware of the improper abuse I take.
Your body on me feels something like an autopsy of a dead body.
While you lay on top of me as you press aggressively on me.
Against my will your force kept me still.
I am trying to understand if you recognize who I am.
I try to say no hoping you can comprehend; I am weakling as you apprehend.
Mentally and physically I became involuntarily your property. 
A main character in a horror story, and you were my predatory.
I asked “God why?” as I bare to stare into his eyes.
This is not thee love I seek; all I wanted was my father to love me, but not like this injustice of violation of my rights.
This love is not real; not the love I wished to feel.
As he tries to stick his tongue into my mouth too young to know what this is all about.
I grip my lips painfully tight as he tries to slip his tongue inside.
I close them tighter with all my might, as he whispers, “let me love you right” 
I beg him to leave as he pried my legs open with his knees my insides scream “somebody please help me!”
As he whispers how much he loves me I’m praying for God to just kill me.
I rather be dead then a man’s punching bag.
As I lay there my body was dead, and I laid my soul to rest.
I looked around the room and seen the Old Spice on the desk the same fragrance he wore around his neck.
The sun began to rise as he began to close my thighs.
In that moment in time I had made up my mind any man that ever say they love me was just telling lies.
I learned the hard way that love does not kill your inside; love does not take your pride.
A fatherless child I shall forever reside.
Every day that passes that little eight-year-old girl dies slowly inside.
Asking Jesus,” Why permit this?” and he slowly whispers…as I gently whimpers, “faith is the light that guide you through the darkness, my words reflecting as a lamp unto my feet.”
“Walk unto my path I’m here to carry the weak, come into me you are weary and overburdened. I will carry the pain you have obtained.”
“I am your father and you are my child you are never fatherless because I’m always around.”


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

My Thoughts

The loneliness so silently descends.
My mind is mixed, confused, so wrong the feel
Of death, a loss of one no thing can mend.
The touch is gone: the hurt, a broken seal.
The battle done: the pain, so long the fight.
The war, the tears, the cries wash o’er with thoughts;
And what I’d do to make this right tonight 
and end the suffering, a glimpse much sought.
A last warm hand so cold, an ice of touch-
My screams “Come back! Come back!” of shame, of sin
 So mute, so plain, unfair, just not enough.
The fate, in place on stone engraved in pen.

Come back to me that’s all I ask, with hope-
lessness, I hide so desperate to cope.


Details | Quatrain | |

Alone And Blue

The wind whispers through the night
Cool against the mist on my skin
A neon sign that reads "Motel" lights my way
Hundreds more have lit where I've been

This night isn't unlike countless before
Walking endlessly with nowhere to go
I pass a drunk in a doorway
And think "now there's something I know"

All I own is here on my back
And the memories I have of you
Lost everything when you left
Now I walk Alone and Blue

Alone and Blue
Living with memories of you
Alone and Blue
What the hell am I going to do

Alone and Blue
No matter how hard I try
Alone and Blue
You never even told me why

Sometimes I wish it would all end
All the pain and suffering gone
Putting my weary mind at ease
My soul could then carry on

But until then I walk through the mist
That rides upon the whispering winds
And go on hearing your voice
My sanity... I try to defend

Alone and Blue
Living with memories of you
Alone and Blue
Are you lonely too??


Details | I do not know? | |

I'm Tired Of It All

I'm tired of the lies,
I'm tired of the deceit,
I'm tired of the rumors,
I'm tired of it all.

I'm tired of the pain,
I'm tired of all the heartaches,
I'm tired of the break-ups,
I'm tired of it all.

I'm tired of the hatred,
I'm tired of the sadness,
I'm tired of the anger,
I'm tired of it all.

I wish everything was perfect.
I wish everyone could get along.
I wish all the negative things in the world could be tossed away.
I wish, I wish, I wish...but this is reality, and here...NOTHING is perfect.


Details | Lyric | |

Despondance

Here without you I feel so numb
Left out in the cold
To walk alone
The broken seams of reality
Would you miss me if I were gone
Or was I never good enough
Mmm I’ll take the shame
Drown me in all your pain

Blame it all on me
I’m just your pins and needles
Being used and abused
And then thrown away
and it's all my fault
Nothing was ever good enough
Good enough I'm not good enough
I was never good enough

The death of you leaves me breathless
If it were only real
But I'm just stumbling around this dream of reality
Waiting for the rain
Hoping for the rain
To wash away the pain
Erase away the shame
But it'll never be good enough

Just blame it all on me
I’m only your pins and needles
Being used and abused
Surrounded by your cancer of lies
Drenched in silence never-ending
And it's all my fault
Nothing is ever good enough
Good enough I'm not good enough
I was never good enough

Weighted so deeply with pain
I’m so sorry.... I disappointed you
Alone and cold I sing my lamentations
Where in the shadows I’m safe I'm free...still I take the pain
I wanted to save you from the dark
But I cannot stay where I don't belong

Still you blame it all on me
I’m just your pins and needles
To be used and and abused
And then washed away
Left alone...empty and forgotten
And it's all my fault
Nothing is ever good enough
Good enough I'm not good enough
I was never good enough
Never good enough


Details | Prose Poetry | |

What's the point?

What’s the point 
in living
When death awaits
What’s the point 
in breathing
When you can not 
feel the 
swelling of your 
lungs
What’s the point 
in love
When you heart 
only aches
What’s the point 
of being in a 
state of 
awareness 
When you are not 
really alive
What’s the point 
in doing your 
best 
When it is 
rarely 
acknowledged
What’s the point 
in making all 
happy
When you are sad
What’s the point 
in smiling 
When your heart 
bleeds
And that colgate 
smile
never touches 
your eyes
What’s the point
in anything?


Details | Rhyme | |

Get out of my Heart

I lay, dripping, soaked within a dark sweat,
seeing and hearing your soft voice abet.
I want to run, to leave this merciless realm,
but you pull me closer, without a choice at helm.
Get out of my dreams.

I miss you, but I hate you, every last memory.
You taunt my every being, you’re all that I see.
I see you in the crowds, or when I’m all alone.
You’re here and there, on your heartless throne.
Why couldn’t you stay?
Get out of my life.

I hear your laughter and see your beautiful smile.
Once so beautiful, now helping others with guile.
You’re now decayed, withering into shallow dust.
I loved you so much, and never again will I trust.
Get out of my head.

Tears I weep, when others aren’t around to see –
I remember the days, the months and years I bleed.
I try to forget, and to hate you and your choices.
But all I can hear are these damn forgiving voices.
Maybe I am what you proclaim me to be.
Was I really that monster, that demon you see?
I hate what I love and love what I hate.
I try to erase our past, and to claim it our fate.
But I can’t let go, you’re all that I hear and see.
I wished you could have loved, that loathsome “me”.
Get out of my heart.


Details | Lyric | |

The End To A Wild Ride

This is the end of all the rollercoasters we have rode
So dont look back
Because the world is going up in smoke
Just ride along with me
We will find eachother when the light goes out

Lost in a Wilderness
Will we find ourselves again
After we have been blown up into peices
Who will survive?
Who will make it to the end?

The clouds will darken
And the sun will go black
There bombs will drop
And Silence our voices

Would we have found the love 
We were searching for in the 60's
Would we have found the peace
We researched in our childhood

Would we have fixed bullying
and told children about Columbine
Would we have stopped the Depression
And told children about the help they can get

Would we be ready when the world ends
Or will we be left in the past
Would we believe in God in time for our ending
Or will we still be selling books on another religion

One day we will forget how to hope and learn how to fear.


Details | Free verse | |

We Were Drunk Once

Movies played but seldom watched
As we entangled on the couch
Intoxicated by each other, we drank wine to clear our heads
Things were simple in those times

You were red-eyed and freshly mangled
I wanted so badly to make you smile and forget her
For a time I think I succeeded 
We were blissful in our distraction
Playing grown up as we discovered each other

Long nights where sleeping was forsaken
We preferred to lie intertwined 
Talking 
Smiling
Laughing
The sun would rise and you would leave, reveling in how the hours had escaped us
Smiling at the pink tinged sky
Only to repeat the process nightly

Then we traded places
I am the red-eyed one, and another tries to help me forget you
Sometimes he succeeds
Perspective feels like a cruel joke
Could have
Would have
Should have

Someday he will have red eyes too
A cycle perpetuated


Details | Cinquain | |

Shrinking Violet

Death masks
the intrusive
images of past thoughts
being burned.  The soul's dark night dreams
lynched hearts.


Details | I do not know? | |

CHALLENGE

Day and night,
I think about the truth,
Behind those hidden curtains,
Trying hard to understand,
How He thinks and do things,
Why is that that our mind so small,
Its hard for us to think beyond? 
Why did He made everything complicated for us?

I sat down my dad called,
To make me face the reality,
My heart started beating fast,
And tears run down my cheeks,
As if there was hail,
I didn't know what to say,
He told me he might not last long,
How am I going to see him?
He is on the other-side of the world?
I am worried about him,
I wish I could die with the people who I love,
I am scared to loose them
And the hard part is I dont know my dad,
I miss him!

I feel like time is close by,
And I didn't live my life as if I wish to,
I can't because things are not the same,
When I see an apple on the tree,
It feels like blood dropping beside my eyes,
I feel strange in this world,
I don't think or see the things I used to,
I stand amongst people who are changed,
In a bad way and yet the worst hasn't begun!

I can't even write my poems the same,
I can't make it rhyme anymore,
I feel like I am all alone in this,
I feel like this is a big challenge,
And I am lost in middle of no where,
I feel like nobody understands,
When the words come out my mouth,
All they hear is bluh! bluh! bluh!
I am disparate to find someone who I can talk to,
Yet I am scared to trust anybody,
I been hurt so many times,

I dont even know how to end this poem if you called it,
I have so much anger that is in me,
That no matter what I say there is still more,
That will never end,
One thing I know is I hate to be here,
And live in a place full of strangers, selfish liars, and untrusted people!


Details | Free verse | |

Sister: A Lament

For Maxine


Sister, was there forgiveness for she who bore you?
For us, your siblings and sometime charges?
For all who would not help, but hastened your demise?
The marble coldness of your corpse,
to my touch, is like an electric shock.
The limbs, the torso, with sudden strangeness,
now bear you slight resemblance.
You feared all pain, but died without complaint.
Who can fathom what you felt?
Was there a last, sharp stab?
A welcome to oblivion?
Or even an awareness of your loss?
Or was death no more spectacular
than a tire deflating, slowly,
quietly, unrecognized?
And was that the shame of it?
That your life ended, so early,
so silently, and death
was no extravaganza?


Details | Light Poetry | |

DADDY

A father is someone that 
holds your hand at the fair
makes sure you do what your mother says
holds back your hair when you are sick
brushes that hair when it is tangled because mother is too busy
lets you eat ice cream for breakfast 
but only when mother is away
he walks you down the aisle
and tells you everythings gonna be ok 


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Set Me Free

Like an animal im locked away in this cage,
Standing in the middle of this stage,
With chains all over my soul trying to break free,
The feeling is to painful like a feeling from a thorned tree. 

I scream out at the top of my lungs,
Set me free, of the chains that are holding me with evil tongues. 
Living with my soul being captured, feels like im dead,
Pulling and taring these chains from my soul only hurts my head.

I finally fall to my knees and cry out,
I reach my hand out to God, apologizing for getting caught.
He forgives me like he always does and breaks these chains that im held by,
Now I can walk with a smile on my face and not wanting to die.


Details | Rhyme | |

Black Roses

This was originally a song...now most of the words are lost in time...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

You were
Always
So ALIVE

It hurts
So bad
To have to see you die

I watch them
Put you into the ground
We all stare in suspense,
Quiet, no sound

I set
Black roses
On your stone
Now I stand
Alone


Details | Rhyme | |

Buried love

He is sleeping in my bed unsuspecting,
As I sneak out the back door again.
I stalk across the dimly lit garden,
Stricken with guilt, remorse, heart-piercing pain.
 
Even during blissful moments in his arms,
Your face flickers in the reflection in his eyes.
I close mine only to see your face again,
In the blackness, dark as night skies.
 
How can I be happy with someone else,
When thoughts of you haunt me, asleep or awake?
How can I smile up at him,
When its your features I'm trying to remake?
 
Even though he makes me happy,
Its nothing compared to the joy you brought me.
I start the car and stare at the lucky charm,
Remembering when you said, my happiness it will guarantee.
 
I guess it never did work,
Because now I'm sitting in this empty car,
Wondering how things could have gone this wrong,
When we had promised stay together upon a solitary star.
 
I'm driving down the familiar road,
Wishing an accident would take away this pain.
Better a quick unfortunate incident,
Than a slow death, plagued by guilt, going a little insane.
 
Walking through the wrought iron gates,
I cant help remembering the many times I've sneaked out.
Each time I reach the graveled path,
If you're worth the trouble, I doubt.
 
But I cant help stalking out the house,
You've become my obsession, my pilgrimage.
Praying silently he never finds about you,
For I'm sure he'll have me put in a cage.
 
I feel the steady calm rising as I near you,
Your voice is in the wind, the rustle of the leaves.
I can hear my heart beat in my ears,
I move to your headstone among the other graves.
 
As usual I trace the engraved heart,
Let a few tears slip and lie down on your cover.
Wishing the block of marble between would disappear and so,
For the last time I could see my sunshine, my one true lover.
 
- Miliya Parveen


Details | I do not know? | |

I am...

I am a poet writing of my pain
I am a person living a life of shame
I am your daughter, hiding my depression
I am your sister, striving to make a great impression
I am your friend acting like I'm fine
I am a dreamer, wishing this life, wasn't mine
I am a girl who struggles with suicide
I am a teenager, pushing her tears aside







Side note: (Writing for other ladies out there, not so much myself, so don't worry about me)


Details | I do not know? | |

poems

poems of love 
poems of hate 
closing doors
 and clicking gates 

Gates of white 
Gates of blue
 all beg for something new
 
something new
  something old
 something saying lets be bold 

i  know you
 and i know something you 
would like to do 

 so take my hand 
and lets leave behind the seas
 and the sand
 
 fly to a new beginning 
leave all these people we watch 
sinning
 


Details | Bio | |

Trilogy of Errors

Loved, to lose
Lost to love
Why not did I choose
That was Written Above


Details | I do not know? | |

You Let Me Down

I waited every day

Hoping to see your face,

But I never saw it again.



You were supposed to

Be there for me, you were

Supposed to love me.



Momma, what did I

Do wrong? Why didn't

You love me anymore?



You left me with strangers,

Walked away from me

When I needed you to stay.



You let me down

In the worst possible way,

It hurt so much.



Even now my beating heart

Still breaks when I think

Back on those days.



Those days when I waited

To see your face just one

More time but never did.



Those days when I wished

You were her, hugging me,

Telling me she loved me.



But it's over now and I'm

Doing okay, I swear that

I will never be just like you.



You who chose her drugs

And alcohol over the one

Thing you should've chosen.



But it's too late for regrets,

And it's funny, after all this

Time, I can't seem to hate you...


Details | Lyric | |

Behind This Smile

~Behind This Smile~

These vicious memories are bogging me down
Like the weight of the world
Is resting on my shoulders
But no one can tell 
As I am so good at keeping
It all well hidden

~Behind This Smile~

Voices screaming at me that I don’t deserve to live
They even tell me ways to end it all
They are so loud I can’t hear myself think
Let alone carry on a conversation
Yet I keep it all

~Behind This Smile~

Inside I am crying, I feel like I am dying
I never let it be known
I keep myself closed in
~Behind This Smile~

It is hard to look in the mirror
I don’t like the person staring back at me 
She is so very ugly, filthy and fat
Who is this tramp I see 
Oh ya that is me
So I try to hide myself 

~Behind This Smile~

I feel like I am falling apart
It is getting harder and harder 
Each and every day
So Linda I beg of you not to look into my eyes
I know if you do you will see
All that I am trying to hide
Please don’t hug me unless you want for me
To fall apart
Because a storm is a brewing 

~Behind This Smile~

By Jeanna York






Details | I do not know? | |

Blank Page

i'm a blank page
empty
waiting for someone 
to leave their mark
empty
words fill the page
my life's words
marred by scars inflicted
by another
gashes, cuts
but still empty
but wish it wasn't 
pieces are torn and lost 
words faded and worn
stains of blood and tears
fill the spaces
a filthy piece of paper
and yet it's still empty


Details | Lay | |

Winds of a Changing Way

	I see darkness; coldness; an abyss. I feel cold; lonely; and fear. I know not of how I am able to change my current course in the sea of indifference. My oars are but a shell of the person I used to be. My boat is a hollowed out soul. The fear I feel is irrational, but it’s my truth. My anchor is the pain of my anguished self. The water I float on is the tears that I can’t cry and hold within. My destination is unknown but not worth the trip. My navigation equipment is the smile of yours that I will never be able to obtain.
	Does the course make the person or does the person make the course? Will we ever know until we get there? Is the pain of life worth the trip?  When does one know when the trip is even over? When we die? Is it before our death? Is it after our death? Does it even matter? Why do we make impossible plans for our future, when our present needs the most tending? How can I allow one person dictate how I choose to course my voyage? Not anymore.
	I tried to hold on to you with whatever strength I had. I don’t have the strength any longer. Now you are nothing more than debris in the river I am forging. Your opinion is like a drop of water in the midst of the ocean I have taken my voyage on. The tides are lower everyday because I no longer cry over you. There is nothing left for me to do, but to ride on my present course, and to find my true inner self. My course has been changed. My navigation set anew. Now my course shall be whatever I choose. No longer will it be what I think you would have me choose. Never again, will you be my tugboat. I am my own ship now!


Details | Lyric | |

Journey

After being shattered,
 torn apart inside,
 a hole was carved out of me
 and something in me died.
 
Our dreams, desires and hopes,
 so young and plentiful,
 all too quickly melted away,
 both of us feeling dismal. 

The time that then came after;
 so dark, unhopeful and bleak.
 The Heart could see no light,
 the body soon became weak.
 
A living, moving corpse,
 an empty, lonely shell.
 The Soul would drift, unheard from,
 locked in its gloomy shell.
 
But life is so persistent,
 and always will pull through.
 Subtle, gentle rays of light
 will once again shine true.
 
The pieces of Self are gone,
 and an emptiness remains,
 Yet the dark thoughts drip away,
 the Soul no longer in chains.
 
So Self must be reborn,
 clay in a potter's hands.
 Piece by piece, the hole is filled,
 done so with multiple strands.
 
Recreated little wonder,
 dance with Joy once more.
 Let your dreams regain their wings,
 and see what He has in store.


Details | Rhyme royal | |

Let life win for now

    Let life win for now... when your head sadly down. 
 Let life win for now... when your chips are down, 
 Let life win for now... when you can’t speak a sound, 
 Let life win for now... win when you just getting up off the ground 
 and life nocks you back down.


    Let life win for now, as you standing in free line,
 when your gut is light to get a bite
 to keep you up right to win the battles of life.  

    But be poise and patient for those who step in your way, your enemy, 
 your unknown rival... Let life pave the way
 therefore what you had good then and do not have now 

     Let life win for now, because life knows what comes around.



Poetry  written by  11/26/10 Author Keith K. Relf


Details | Alliteration | |

One Among Many part 1

Chapter 1 
As but only one young lost man in a great land I sometimes don’t want to see what I see in life but death causes me to look. I don’t want to hear the things I hear but have to admit the things here that I’ve heard. I don’t want to be guilty today it’s why I continue to strive past my past for innocence in the near future. I don’t want to feel what I feel but after another day in this dark place has gone by I can’t hide what I have painfully felt. As but one young man I wonder why I question others motives and still can’t see the answers to my own as if I know all the answers to life when I don’t even know the true cause of my own. I wonder why I am happier at times but more often than not why I continue to be sad. I look for ones in groups of twos and get lost in groups of threes, but don’t get even me started on the groups of fours. On the outside world I am lost yet inside myself I know I am found, I holler silently at night while I quietly pray during the day. As but only one young man I can only do what is best for self-first if I want to start making a difference for two. 
Sometimes life for one can be fun, but on the reservation more often than not it is boring and dull. On the reservation I found serenity and solitude in the hills but I also found old savages and young Satan’s in the towns. I see beauty and peace in Mother Nature but I also found violence and ugliness among my very own in the neighborhood. I see not what I see and I think not what I think for I feel what I see which leads me to think. I choose rather to just be rather than not be what other people want me to be. I see what I see because I haven’t really got a choice in what I will see, I’d rather choose to just say that I saw. Outside people can’t make one see what I already choose not to see for I see what I see rather if they want me to see things their way or not. I can’t feel what they feel unless they feel what I feel and live where I live and be where I am to know where I truly am from to understand the thoughts and feelings of not only a young native of struggle, but as a person worldwide no matter the skin color.


Details | Rhyme | |

Game Over

One last time,
one more chance,
I told myself no,
to this endless romance.
Its good for awhile,
but always ends in tears,
starts with a smile,
then the love disappears.
You start to get mean,
thinking ill cower away,
but not this time,
not today.
Hit me again,
we'll fight to the death,
this will only end,
when you take your last breath.
So say goodbye
to your silent nights,
and say hello
to these violent fights,
I cant take it anymore,
I want to be free,
I wont back down,
until your life's a memory.


Details | Rhyme | |

Seeking accompany

Seeking accompany- Zamreen Zarook
 
I kick to wonder what made me to cry,
Am really writing as a fry,
Myself launch to be dry,
This ink will be a victim for my cry.
 
What really went wrong with me all these day,
What made e to forget my last day,
I realized I jumped out of my track yesterday,
So I regret for that, what is called as present today.
 
Happiness have started to wave hands for this sinner,
Sadness have started to move inner,
The faults that I considered as miner,
So far changed as a miner of a winner.
 
My face was a comparison to sunlight,
Where as my routine changed it to moon light,
I wish to get that twilight,
As a sinner I started to search for that enlight.
 
I started to enjoy what is right,
I remade my faults as a kite,
I wished it would fly apart from my  sight,
My system said, you are free from your rubbish weight.
 
It proved that I always should depend on god,
In whatever the variation of my mood,
He is there to clear my victorious road,
So, I started to live according to His code.


Details | Ballade | |

Paying back what I owe

Paying back what I owe.

I guess that some are wondering
Why I’m writing all this stuff
About the man John Sherman
Maybe you’ve had enough
But I owe the man so much
He taught me how to be
A man who lives more in the moment
With a heart and soul that’s free.

I was angry, rude and antisocial
I had no friends at all
No one wanted me around
I’d drive them up the wall
With all  my foolish paranoid
And the hatred deep within
I tried with everything I had
To quell the nasty din.

But then I read Johns message
As I did surf the net
He told me ’do one little act!!’
And I have no regrets
That I did take the mans advice
For look at me today
My happiness is my success
And joy, it is my way.

Now I’m a very loyal man
I must pay back what I owe
John and Carla changed my life
So I want the world to know
I make me no false promises
I just say look and see
It doesn’t cost nothing at all
But it made a brand new me.

13 July 2013 @ 1208hrs.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Hidden Sin

What is sin? It is something that is buried within.  Oh no! it is the
hidden sin, it comes back to haunt you again and again.  Sometimes it
is near, sometimes it is far, also it can be a hidden war that lurks in our
inner-beings to haunt us again and again.

We love today and hate tommorrow, what is this hidden sorrow?  It is the
thing that comes back to haunt us again and again.  It makes you happy, it
makes you sad, it loves to make you feel real bad. So what is this hidden sin?
The thing that come back again and again,

Sometimes you are good, sometimes you are bad, it gives you pain you never had.
What is this hidden sin? The joy and pain that is hidden within, "This is the hidden
sin".


Details | Free verse | |

Immobilized

I wiped away the tears of a crying 
Child
Yesterday

And felt as though I were wiping
My own

But couldn’t dry them

Couldn’t dry
Them

As hard as 

I tried

A neighbor knocked on my
Door
Today

Asked me if  I would move 

My car

And felt as though I were spinning
My wheels

Because I couldn’t drive it

Couldn’t 
Drive

As hard as

I tried

Please
Let me step 
Forward

But know I can’t go 
Any farther

Please
Let me step 
Backward

But know I might trip
Fall over

Please
Let me step 
Sideways

But know  I 
Hurt 

With 
Every
Inch

Please

Let me step

Let me step

Any way

I can













Details | Free verse | |

Graveyard diggers- a frustrated quest

LETS NOT CRY FOR THOSE WHO ARE DEAD

AS EMOTIONS ARE BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD

LONGING FOR LOVE IS FUTILE

PALE AND FRAGILE

I WISH THOSE BLUE EYES

TO BE MINE FOREVER

ALAS ! DREAMS ARE THE ENEMIES OF DAYLIGHT

MOONLIGHT IS CONCEALING MY THOUGHTS

INSOMNIA IS GRIPPING MY VISION

WAYWARD THOUGHTS CULMINATES AS

MY LOVE POEMS ARE CHAINED IN PRISON…








Redfiery
2011




Details | Rhyme | |

Three Times Betrayal

Hopes and dreams been ripped away, Along with friends who weren't so true. Some kinds of love just cannot stay In hearts whose vision's over-due. I've said, "Really, you don't treat me well and you've truly hurt my heart." Asking, simply, for a sorry, Before our friendship's torn apart. I hope I musn't step aside, And disregard our lovely past. . But it seems as if their choice is pride, And they'd rather that our love not last. What shallow 'motion in their souls, And hardened cold sincerity. A friendship once had burned with fire, Now nothing but some crackling coals It now has shown so clear to me.


Details | Free verse | |

asking

All the things you should know
All the swings you’ve taken on me
But haven’t noticed at all
And there goes the things you won’t know

Can’t you see all I got to tell you?
Can’t you tell just by the sound of my steps?
And as it seems you won’t notice at all
And I won’t tell you, not now, not tomorrow

Till you notice what have you done
How does that stomping on my dreams
Dragging all I know down
What I thought was concrete now is just flour on the floor.

So by now all I got to tell you
Is, ask me please
Just the right time, the right words and everything fine.
And it seems that here I’ll be for eons

With all this around me
And you don’t seem to care
You don’t care at all
With my broken past, and you can’t see it 

And there it goes my hope
Within this forest I don’t see a way out
And guarding what’s left it’s all I have.

And still you don’t care.

~Anna


Details | Free verse | |

deep-dark-hollowed heart

I stand 
I wait
I worried
for the things that may not happened

I hope
I pray
I cried
longing for a peaceful heart

All I wanted is...
when i close my eyes I won't feel afraid
and when I open my eyes, a smile will appear 
coz today i breathe again

in a deep-dark-hollowed heart
like living as a sinner
like walking around in a forest finding a way out
God, released me from this feeling...

Nobody wants to feel alone
like a stranger in a crowded place
take me to a home where love can hold me
to a nice sleep when the night comes

I am lost so find me
I cry so hug me
I am lonely so love me...


Details | Rhyme | |

A Cry For Help

During the devestation of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, Louisiana. Haunting memories 
of a nightmare that will never be forgotten.



All through this great nation,
screaming voices of isolation,
echoing cries of the weak,
along the crossroads of smothering August heat.
No dignity as death unfolds,
wing whipped city, a sinking bowl.
Just for the record and made to be known,
slow to respond to my drowning soul,
with hope for life in a sinking bowl.
The last breath taken with misery,
and just for the record, history.


Details | Free verse | |

Masquerade

You saunter through the double doors
Head held high
Chest puffed out
Putting on airs
You think you’re so clever, so deceiving
Showing up baring the most ornate mask
But I see right through
The mask that you wear tonight
You think it will conceal
You think just tonight
In this hour
You can be somebody else
But you’re dancing with the Belle of the Ball
This is MY Masquerade
And this is the 147th event
You just don’t recognize me
Because I wear a different mask each time
Your mask is cheap material
Sequins missing, feathers askew 
Such feeble attempts
I smell your bravado
Putrid and reeking, stinking up the air
But I see right through
I’ve donned masks my whole life
That’s why I am the bearer of this sash
That you see around my neck 
“Strongest Person I Know”
But I allow no one to gaze under the mask
Sure I play the Belle oh so well
But if you all saw beneath
Saw WHY I’ve had to wear masks
You’d strip me of my title
You’d rip off my sash
Break the pearls from my neck
You’d run for the door tonight
Quicker than Cinderella at the stroke of midnight
That’s the beauty of a Masquerade
You can pretend to be something you’re not
When one guise becomes worn
When it loses its sparkle
It’s glamour and charm
That first catches your eye
Well it’s quite alright 
Because I have a treasure trove 
BURSTING with masks
Grab another and keep dancing
Twirling the night away
Never skipping a beat
But when the music finally comes to an end
When the door closes and the final guest departs
Empty wine glasses are seen scattered all around
The only sound is the echo of my heels
When the confetti lies lifeless on the floor
That’s when I remove my mask
Exhausted, worn and weary
When I gladly, almost desperately 
Take off my tattered sash 
And throw it beneath my feet
Because I’m not resilient and strong now
I feel weak, frail and reclusive in my realm
That’s when the tears start to brim
That’s when I wish someone else held the title
So stripped and naked
Alone to clean up the mess
Everyone else has left behind
But there’s no one to there to pick up the sash
Just me and the sound of my tears
Echoing as they hit the floor
Almost fearfully I pick up the sash
Dust off the confetti
Smooth out the wrinkles
Before placing it back around my neck
As I throw my shoulders back
Standing taller than ever
Wiping away tears that no one saw
I walk back to my trunk
My trunk of the most decorative
Ornate, obscuring masks
Finding another to wear
As I prepare for the next façade
The next Masquerade 


Details | ABC | |

Grey Bird

On that cloudy weekend in June 
I hear a soft and graceful tune 
from the grey bird on the tree 
branch 
Singing sweet lullabies felt 
blessed in the moment 
My body tingles of joy at sight 
Gazing out through 
my open door,
Letting thoughts fly free
Releasing love out into the horizon 
Heart filled with emotion came 
over me 
Grey bird stood playing its tune 
for awhile and on the wings of 
letting go
Then as the rain fell from the 
sky the grey bird flew away 
gracefully 
I blew a kiss to the clouds and 
utterd these simple words of I 
Love You father ( who's now in 
heaven ) and yet I hope to hear 
that grey bird sing again once 
more for me 
Farewell, love your son

Poem contest for Debbie -referential


Details | Elegy | |

My Kashmir Burns (Part 1)

I picture Kashmir through lightened KL. News of another massacre darkens my eyes
Winds are thirsty there. They continue to taste the young blood.
I groom myself with exquisite things,
Sipping ice tea in ac room, I comfort myself
And Kashmir burns. Kashmir set ablaze

I can smell the warm blood of beaten corpse
Where from winds bought this smell. Somewhere Karbala reborn.
Mosques are being slammed
There windows stoned. And the black boots leave their footprints on Mimber
Even God judges on evidence
There is one Imaam left now; he hides her daughters in his shadow
A blunt knife in his hands; soon he will sacrifice them to keep their innocence
Kashmir is burning. Kashmir is bleeding
And I write.

Army jeep chases the tracks. To find the associated bodies
They are alive now. Soon they will be dead
From Patan to Sopor, And in narrow passages of nostalgic downtown
Ghosts of curfew
Haunt the houses for young souls.

From the Kupwara cantonments, search lights chase emptiness
Nothing is left now. Search lights can’t see inside the graves
A boy there went missing for two days. His father starts digging his grave.
I put my earphones on and I close my eyes. I sleep
While my Kashmir is ablaze
“It’s me poor farmer’s son. Kupwara’s charm, I feel no pain”.
I see him so alive in my dreams.
He chants songs of Mahjoor from his burnt lips. My hands shiver. He has no finger nails.
I see his smoke tanned skin. Same as that of Khayam’s barbeques
He stands at a distance from me. I can still smell kerosene
“Tell my mother to let her heart become cold. Her heart will not bear my state.
Tell my mother to let her eyes become blind. Her eyes will not withstand my sight.”
I follow him towards his tortured body. He tells me to follow the spilled blood.
His blood has made its own Jhelum. I row on it. Until it gets lost in black boots
The story will turn into legend. I find his body no more.

On the streets silence prevails. Nobody has permission to wail.
Sisters are beatifying coffins while brothers look for stones.
For bullets there will be stones
Kashmir is ablaze. She is wailing in grotesque tones.
In Lal Ded hospital a new born cries: Father register me at cantonment then take me out
Death is recruiting in dozens at a time.
Tomorrow is curfew. Death has no curfew pass.
How they want to identity you. Becomes your identity
People burn up all you identity cards.


Details | Ballad | |

Starcrossed Tragedy

A Silent Night's Hunt for a Tigress so blunt, Left the Fiend dancing with my Thisbe's Cloack But where was She? Her Drenching blood is all I can see The Night of Sanguine, The Night of Rapture, Tonight was meant to be All Behold This Tragedy ran by Dark Energy, My Lost Lover's Plea A seed of what is to come, In this starcrossed Tragedy, For I can not live without you, My Pyramus, All I need, My reason to Breathe One sight of me bleeding away from reality, started this tragedy and with me It shall Grow The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy A Star traveling across the moonless Night Sky, In the mid-summer of Verona, Fell from her glorious light, I have lost my guide, My need for Life Every balcony I'll climb for you, Just to Caress you once more But now it is too Late, My Juilet Let the Poison Fill me My Body dyed In silence, Dipped in Paralysis, Forging the Will of God, Feigning the Clutches of Death, My Romeo I prithee to you, See past The Illusion, Caught in the Webs of Love's delusion A Dagger reached my heart once To see you martyr for our love A Dagger reached my heart twice The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy Once the Morning Retired from her weeping The sun shined into her eyes, then his Lifeless, their dream will live on Every Petal will be Avenged The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy


Details | Romanticism | |

Can't Love be with me for once

Can't Love be with me for once

in my life.

Can't Love for once in my life

see the way I live

and accept me for who I am

and not for what I possess.

I have seen love bounce back and forth

through the darkened streets of life

and I sat on the park benches,

alone.

I can't wait till love comes again

but can't love just be with me for once

and live with me, embrace me, to see me late at night,

come through the doors of perception.

Can't Love be with me for once

throughout the valleys of sorrow and depression

and shine its glorious face onto me,

like the first morning rays of the sun at dawn.

I cannot understand, why

Love can't just be with me for once...

Why?

I ask you, why?

Can't Love just laugh, and talk to me

Can't the arrow of Cupid find me already.

I have found my time, now I have no love.

The beauty of Plato's words that melt of the page

as you read word for word, and my heart melts away.

Why can't love just be with me for once,

once in a great, blue moon.

Too walk through the dew sprinkled, dawn days in August

as I walk to my chamber

and ready to love,

but love can't be found.

Can't love just come already.

Show its pretty face,

Hold my hand,

kiss me and I kiss back,

to read a book of poetry to her

as she lays in my arms,

and then we shall make love

under the twilight.

The stars shall shine

the moon shall be bright and full

and I shall find love one day.

One lonely day, as I sit in the wayward cafe

drinking my sorrows away,

writing my poetry

and love shall walk through that door

I shall find her and take her by the hand

and kiss her upon her soft cheek.

I just ask,

Why can't love just be with me for once.


Details | Free verse | |

Snowfall in my Mind

Winter in my blood colder than this December night, snowfall in my mind gradually turning me into a reptile preparing for hibernation. Deep blue night; her soft lip's warmth, warmer than a matchstick fails to ignite me,my wet mind, some blue melancholy playing with her nakedness. She wraps herself around me like a soft blanket, I can't feel those curves waiting to be melted, only wet and cold flesh of another reptile. No end of this winter night no end of my mind's snowfall, stay away from me now on this cold,winter night under those heavy snowfalls let me go into hibernation. ===================== **Not my story ;)


Details | Rhyme | |

The Ugliness Of Divorce


My parents taught me the Christian ways.
I was taught to obey what the Bible says.

I was proud of my parents!  I really was!
And loved them so much…  Just because!

They meant everything to me!  I was proud!
Until one day...  There appeared “a dark cloud.”

It was like a “darkness” hovered above.
Leaving their marriage empty of needed love!

Though they were together many years.
There were many cracks that soon appeared.

I say a once happy home soon destroyed.
Being with one another….  They no longer enjoyed!

How could this happen! I had wondered…
To see a happy marriage “totally plundered

As sin crept in...  And allowed to prevail.
Very soon this marriage simply failed.

May this be a warning for me and you…
That our commitment remains faithful and true!

If your marriage is heading toward separation…
Please seek God for a healing and restoration!

If your planning to have a divorce..
Jesus’ love can put it on the right course!

He can replace the brokenness and hurt within..
And can put your lives back together AGAIN!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Jesus My Life Is One HUGE Embarrassment


For many years... My life has been an embarrassment! Filled with hopelessness and discouragement! Many things I thought I had enjoyed... Have left in me... A large and empty void! Many nights, I would cry myself to sleep. Knowing the hole my life was in, was very, very deep. Then one day, I called out to God! I wasn’t sure if he’d listen! My family, my old church, I was now missin'. My family prayed for me for so many years. I often brought them embarrassment and tears. God... I tried everything else... I want to come back to you! I need you now Jesus! I really do! Please come into my heart, and cleanse me within! Set me free from all addictions and sin! I know that you will never let go of my hand. My whole life, on your word, I shall now stand. Only you can satisfy the emptiness in my soul! I am now complete, satisfied, and made whole! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

A Melting Candle Sits

A melting candle Is, atop mine open sill As a refuge through and through What breaks the twilight swill Pierces blackened night And in proxy cries the fiery light A time to oft enflames to flicker Against fighting odds and winds do kill But, the wax it softens flowing thicker Becomes molten liquid, pure As teardrops, drips of life go quicker Falling down, surround a hardening heart As half lit shadows begin to stir Across an ever nebulous mind of sorts And where a solemn figure sits Waiting for return of love's visage Past into waning hours Hoping its presence shall soon pay a visit In the touch of tomorrow's lips


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Hidden Away With A Smile

My pain emotionless on my face

The tears I cry hidden away with my sorrow

Nothing more for what you won't understand

To be insecure for which I don't choose

Jealousy eats away for I won't give it joy

A sadness to overcome with each lesson

To stand by and watch for no control can be tamed

Once in your path I can't seek to search for the words I want to say

The scars left behind to be hindered upon

Only to weep and help better thy for oneself

One smile can hide all without opening the book

Behind it who knows what lies there


Details | Free verse | |

The Nobodies

We are the nobodies
Unloved, un-hated, un-phased
Outcasts of the world of popularity.
Banished to the fringes of existence.
Finding joy- is a rarity- no solidarity
Always seen at a distance-
because we are the resistance

Nameless faceless and speechless-
When we speak the response is an echo
Bouncing around in a black hole
We can't hide from it so lets go
Into the darkness of our abandoned soul

Alone, lost, and shrouded by darkness
left to face the shadows of heaven
Lost in life- Our suffering is endless!
To each other we are brethren. 

We are numbed by pain
And blinded by shame
we are social life's bane
playing popularity's game

We are the nobodies...


Details | Haiku | |

Natural Hair Color

cold cold breeze
leaves partially cover her
chopped off braid


Details | I do not know? | |

That happy smile of this Girl I know

I want a reason to live
My heart wrenches in pain all too often
Tears stream down my cheeks 
Trembling lips
An urge to scream loudly

I hold it all in. 

There are way too many thoughts swirling in my head
Dizziness and a feeling of loneliness 
Creeping right under my skin
A mental breakdown is soon to show

I hold it all in.

Everyday I get closer to believe
Death might be a better place
For one who is nothing
but a hindrance to oneself 

I hold it all in.

Thoughts of doing harm again
It is getting tough not to do so
Letting everything spill on the floor
The water stealing every drop away

I hold it all in.

Weights fallen drastically 
Who notices, no one
Trying to be pretty
Who am I kidding?
I am nothing but bones
A shell yet full of too many emotions. 

La la la la.
 Mind not clear.
 Eyes clouded. 
Throat soar. 
Body numb.
 I want to leave.

Somewhere faaaaar away. 

I am afraid of the day 
I can not hold it all in
That day shall be
My Death
Wandering off to somewhere else
Fed with lies from all sides

I am Alone.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Cohen Questions God

Oh, God, tell me why
You made my bones
From dust
My soul
From 
Hebrew 
Clay

Tell me why 
You made my mind
From storms
Dark remnants
Of the day

Reveal all your secrets
Why you placed me
In this
Pain

Show me a 
Hidden
Higher 
Path
The one 
From which 
I strayed

Refill the pool of
Laughter 
Whose waters
Have been 
Drained

God

You 

Made

Me 

So 

Sad

And...

Naked I kneel
Before you
Sing your 
Yahweh
Name

Naked in your 
Temple
Bathed in 
Holy
Shade

Tell me why
I was born 
A priest
Fallen
And 
Betrayed

Fallen
From your 
Garden
Lost 
In every
Way.

 


Details | Free verse | |

Alcoholism

Alcoholism, the pariah
feeding on the collapse
of self-control 
befuddling the brain's sensibility;
transforming intelligence
into ridicule.


Details | Rhyme | |

Beautiful------- BLOOD-------- Stain:::::::::::::::::::::::::

Living amongst Hell's battles with little to gain aftermath brings stinging rain as beauty dwells in the blood of the stain


Details | Rhyme | |

Being-----Alone


Through the window view, a frozen lawn with unclad shades of gray
A cheerless room that claims the dawn, of another winter day
The morning breaks in stillness, cold, and quiet loathing dread
With rote routine, he breaks the loaf, a slice of frozen bread

He looks around, and takes a breath, the familiar scent of wrong
The early angled light comes in, with shadows deep and long
But who would know the glare from dusk, from glare that comes with dawn?
When no one comes,  to share the meal,  to hear the lonely song
 
So now the kitchen aches, and reeks with brooding, empty stare 
The room depicts, what might have been, the silence of despair
Before him sits a plate of food, a table set for one
A cup of cold, a cigarette, a man who sits alone

Being here, alone again, upon the jagged edge
Too long becomes, a heart so numb, no strength to climb the ledge

_______________________________________________________


Details | Haiku | |

45th- BLANK

there are 2 blank cards
in the angel card deck so
today I'm "depressed"

for this to be the 
best country in the whole world
today it looks sad

just happy that I 
was a member of the age
of Aquarius

our best hour was 
revolution of 60's
created big change

now elephants rule
just capitalistic pigs
love hear themselves squeal



Details | Rhyme | |

One Way to Cede

It's the metal in my hand,
Like biting into an apple
The juice runs down my arm
Its nectar is what I need
To make me cede 

Wanting it to be shown
What it feels like to be me
In the moment, I’ll give up hope
This is the only way I know how to cope

Will you just help me please?
Wanting someone to see
and just know what I mean,
What its like to fall
With no pit that compares to be this deep
Just want to hear my voice
Loud and clear
But as long as I hang here
I have no control
But to watch myself tear

This is what I've become
What I've done
Don't be surprised
For once actually look with your eyes
And you'll see the real me
Showing all the signs
Now I just ask you please
Hear me and take me out of my misery 
Not asking to move a mountain over seas
Just lay it over me to let me be

Is it possible to think about anything but this?
Will the thought ever quit?
Pain over comes any thing
Including this

I want it to be seen
It’s how much it hurts
Not the scar it leaves behind,
But the stab that’s not seen
I will fall back into the hole
Hold my breath and do not breathe
Because today I wear my heart on my sleeve 


Details | Didactic | |

TO OUR POLITICIANS

                                             

We are not different from toilet tissue
Used in cleaning shit-smeared buttocks-
Those of you unabashed politicians
Who proliferate our ears
With gargantuan lies
Croak with breathe-taking professionalism
And awe-inspiring stratagem. 

You these jigsaw creatures that deceive our mothers
With soap and blood maggi
As if our mothers whom we suckled are sheer beggars.

Your voice rise again
In their well crafted holy sermon-
“Vote for me and have tarred roads!”
Begging us to once again
Place you in comfort and wealth
While we are used yet again 
To clean rot-caked buttocks.


Details | Ballad | |

Corpse Bride

The braeþ of lyf -- I've Learned to fear
Though, ta'en it was, so long sinsyne
I've wroot my song of skreighs
He tore the lyf out of me
In sooth did she speke this to me - Cassandra was she to me
Wistful - I am no bride to be
Wistful - is this soliloquy of skreighs

I cede to thee, deathly colleen 
Though remains - façades of humanity 
Angel kind - wicce of my welkin dreams
Casted by the lote of she
Ta'en the hollow Herefro way - ne'er!
Caught with twain
W'ie or swain

Angel dearest so fair - love does not share
Seemed a crux, when eath is lone
I rose for thee - cede all of thy love to me
Or was this not meant to be
Eros's deceit 
So wistful - corpse bride I remain to be


Details | Personification | |

Pessimistic Love

Love is
the morning dew...
lurking, looming
effervescent
enigmatic
...burned
...gone


Details | I do not know? | |

I still miss you

Visions stolen,
Heart beat raised
You still touch me,
In the castle in the air

I don’t want to miss you,
Truth is, I still do
The smile, those eyes,
I still miss you..

The path has forked
The world has split
Memories tainted,
I still miss you

I yearn for a rendezvous
To reminisce the cold touch
The twinkle, the chuckle,
I still miss you

Cries of laughter,
Strength of bond,
The waiting seconds,
I still miss you

Time does not reverse
The road unveils beautifully
But, some are unforgettable
And, I, still miss you…


Details | Free verse | |

Set Me Free

There was a baby happy and free
The apple of the eye of his family
Playing around and hiding in the trees
Whoever thought it’s his last smile they see

Through the darkness of the jungle came
Man-devils whose creation God is to blame
Cut the kid down with lethal shots
His body ripped like a shattered earthen pot

I was the one who led those men
Swooping down from our mountain den
Snuffing out the little flame of his life
My mind, since then, is full of strife

The mother came with her eyes in tears
The sight sent my body into shivers
The boy in her arms looked full of life
The hole in his heart told me it was a lie

The mother laid the baby on my lap and cried
Is this my baby, the one who died?
You’re the one who killed him, you devil in disguise
May Gods curse you, may heavens you despise

Lord! Why did I make this grave mistake?
Why was it this kid whose life I had to take?
Why did I take a life when I cannot give?
Do I have anymore right to live?

I cried tears of guilt and pain
And gave the grieving mother my gun
I told her relieve me of my misery
Kill me before I kill again

The mother said with a sad smile on her face
You have sinned and punishment you must face
But killing you would only set you free
And I will be the culprit to your family

You will suffer everyday of your life
You will bleed lots more than my little child
You will burn in the self hating fire of hell
You will die everyday and live to tell

That day on I’ve cried a million tears
Hating myself for all these years
There’s nothing I can do to escape this hell
I feel I am falling into an endless well

God! I cannot ask for forgiveness please
I cannot ask for salvation
All I ask for is to set me free
From this dreary life full of misery


Details | Romanticism | |

I Miss You

“When you’re not with me, what’s not to miss?
 I feel poor, in need for bliss
No lips on earth compare to your kiss
I need you bad, wassup with this
Missing sickness that slit my wrists
If the world was lost, you’re the first I’ll miss

Lexy Lexy where is me Lexy
If you’re in space then the world is not sexy
Clean my emotion, because it feels too messy
From trashing my miss, I miss me Lexy

Just wait? I can’t, I need you NOW
I love you massively, holy cow!!!
I miss our tenderness and all the wow
While love performs, societies take a bow

Time is cold, I think it’s sick
Froze it is and this moment it pick
I’ll fight the time with a punch and kick
 It better speed up or I’ll grab a brick
Solid time right now and he thinks he’s slick
But he can’t defeat me, my heart is thick

I can scream out loud but you’ll never hear-me
My heart is too vigorous, it can’t go weary 
You miss your man; I’m here, here-he
Your absence darken my heart to make it seem eerie 
Your love is the light, I miss you dearly”


Details | I do not know? | |

Grim Reaper

The pain is deep
The cuts are deeper
I cant wait till my visit
From the Grim Reaper.
My time will be soon
I just wanna be gone
Away from this all
He'll get me at the crack of dawn.
No one will cry
No one will fret
No one will care
Thats what i bet.
Im misunderstood
Can i just leave now
Things would be better off
Iv lived longer than i allow.
I will leave with him 
Dont worry when im gone
I know you wont anyway
I was just the worlds pawn.
He is here now
I have taken his hand
We are on our way to forever gone
I was never a demand.
You all will forget me
Dont try to deny it
I was barely anything to you all
So i wont throw a fit.
This is my final good-bye
Im almost forgotten
I knew it wouldnt be long
But my love will never be rotten.
Only one person cared so much
I have just hurt him
I forever will love him
His life may turn grim.
Im trying to run back to him
The Grim Reaper wont let me go
I dont wanna hurt my love
But im already in the flow.
Ill break these chains
I love him so
The last thing i wanna do is hurt him
I dont want him to let me go.
Now its far to late
He has let me go
But not deep in his heart
He will forever love me that i know.
I have made a mistake in leaving
I took his hand far to soon
I left my love alone on that world
I will always look at him from the moon.


Details | Lyric | |

Unintelligible Communication - who/what/where/when/why/how?

How can you say the things
that make me want to scream?
How can you hear the words
that make me want to cry?

Why does my life
feel like a constant cliche
and why are you
content to care
about a creature who cares
about nothing at all?

i said i had lost my priorities
but i know i just finally
realized what they are:
"wallowing in self-imposed misery"
ranks first
and manipulation
and selfishness
come in a close second and third
if there is much difference
between them at all.

Can you tell
that i'm out of words?
all i can do
is scream and cry
sigh at life's inevitability
about the mess that is me
and i wish sometimes
that i could let go
float on the flow
of my tears and waters
that teem with my screams
swim
and actually get somewhere.

i try to return to the past
but my creative juices
have fled
watered down by time
and repetitive experiences
and this is new
but not so much so 
that there's anything more
to say
that hasn't already
been said.
i've related to you
the over-used lines
i seem to spill at these times
don't be surprised if
i am reduced
to repeating 4 words:
"what do i do?"
'cause that's all it comes down to.

i write because
it feels like something accurate
-- and that still effects deeply and intensely --
might come out
the next time
or the next time
when really
i read over my old poems
and realize
i've exhausted my supplies
of deep, intense effective poems
and all that's left
is just chicken scratch.

i
don't want to
am not able to
write anything more
all i can do
is lay my head
on the naked pillow
and hope that i won't rise
or if i do
i won't be me.

i can write the words
that make me want to cry
i can write the things
that make me want to scream
but how you can say and hear
i'll never know
'cause i've gone
far beyond the realm
where that is
a plausible
possible
option
but here i can retreat to 
and "fire at will
from behind my hideout
of faux-i-don't-care".
and as i write
i realize that that is the one thing
i can say
that is utterly true
because i am
sorry
and there's nothing i can do
to change that.


Details | Sonnet | |

A Temporary Goodbye in the Broadest Sense of Temporary

With great fervor they write without end
Pretty words that could not even be read
Though he tried, he had no will  to lend
The voice inside expiring, left for dead 

There was some pleasure even concern
Pondering the loss of the bonds formed
The thought he could not even discern
His own demons, now left him scorned

No more adventure left in his lost soul
What could they truly understand in him
No more desire, he tried to form a goal
A pursuit also that left him without whim

What more can I do, but write these things I feel
What more can I say, I have nothing left to reveal


Details | I do not know? | |

Forever Angel

FOREVER ANGEL.

Right?

There is always an angel there by your side at all times. 

Even if you don't see or hear the angel, its always there.
 
Their there for you when things get tough. Right there by your side with an arm around your 
sholder.

                           (God didn't promise that life would be easy.
       But he did promise that he will be by your side every step of the way.)

 If you just think about this when you're alone, you'll relize that you not alone.
                
 
*please comment if you like or just have a thought. (or fav poem if you like*                       

                                   -Angel4eva23


Details | Ballad | |

Zanaku, grey wolf.

He walks at night,
It sleeps by day,
Basking in the moonlight,
Or so they say,
With the form of a wolf,
And the soul of a man,
With a tale that can move,
And a mind that can plan,
With a coat of gray hair,
And eyes always crying,
People seem to care,
People are always lying,
He howls at the moon,
So desolate and sad,
Good times go too soon,
As did all that he had,
Living in the woods,
So far from redemption,
Plagued by dark thoughts,
Too many to mention,
The gray wolf walks alone,
Carrying his past,
All that he called his own,
Found it hard to last,
Staring at the clouds,
And standing in their rain,
Find no relief from his constant pain,
Such a doleful look,
Calls on the heart to bleed,
Life gave and then it took,
All that he came to need,
So he rises to go,
Lonely, though no one cares,
As if they didn't know,
Lone wolves don't come in pairs.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

A Hertfelt Cry

He raises his  voice louder and louder it goes

I beg him stop, stop ,please stop

He grabs me, he pushes me

The more I beg him to stop, the angrier he becomes

I slap him thinking it will stop him

Oh so wrong I am, his anger deepens

He hits me again and again

The pain  oh so strong I tell only one, his sister

Soon too be mine if  this, this pain  I can endure

I cry often for I love him so

I cry often for I can't  take his pain away

Oh Lord place your heeling hands on the one I love so

 Ease  his pain, give him strength to let go of his past 

Show him your love so he can truly love again





Details | Rhyme | |

No Return

Listen to the school bell
Ring 
Distant plaintive 
Wail

Beyond anything the mind can 
Comprehend

And return to a deserted field 
Where spirited girls and boys
Once played

Before 
Becoming mature
Women and men

When I hear the laughter
Childish screams
And ghostly
Cheers

I can feel a world at 
Peace
Overcoming my 
Fears

Of a future without 
Love
And the solitude I 
Chose

Of a future without
Birth
And the terminus
Imposed

Didn’t I hear a sprightly piano
Plinking through a 
Window
Near that faded
School yard?

Reminds me of you
Bright girly radiance
Dressed in 
Black 
Leotard

Dancing all the time 

We were carefree
Back then
Before the days of 
Wrinkled
Women
Defeated 
Silver
Men

Can I return to that time
With my old soccer ball?

Play with young spirits
Long passed away

Can I redo the errors 
Stamped upon my life?

Recapture 
Lost hopes 
Yesterday

That’s a sharp
School bell
Ring 

Distant plaintive wail

Beyond anything  the mind can 
Comprehend

But there’s no return 
To a deserted field 
Where spirited girls and boys
Once played

Before 
Becoming mature
Women and men

There’s no return to 
The beginning 

No return

When you’ve
Reached 
The
End


Details | Free verse | |

Mama

Skeletal,
shriveled,
your shell's a delicate, dry
and brittle casing,
soon shed.
Now,
age accumulates and,
exiled and bewildered --
all free choice fled --
death's an unknown terror.
You miss your home,
cannot understand how,
to those who once bent to your will,
you've faded to a shadow,
powerless, almost forgot,
a consequence of the natural order.
Enjoy the moments in the sun,
your food, your precious life's breath
that I listen for at night.
I cling, and mourn your life --
so changed.
Your stroke
has paralyzed us both...
my pity, cloaked in love,
is but another grievous wound
you bear.


Details | Free verse | |

Child Abused

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Romanticism | |

Together Again

A girl whom he'd forgotten
At his door, showed up the other day
The one he'd always wanted
Just knew not what to say

The boy she longed to hold
She caught his eyes once again
Of her love, to him, she never told
But this time, all her love, she will send

Once in a lifetime, and not one time more
Fate takes hold, luck is lent
From out of the blue, a miracle occurs
Hearts reunite, Together Again

She greets him with a smile
A sparkle in her eyes
For his love, she'd run for miles
To try this thing called love, just one time

Gazing at her beauty, he feels her in heart
Remembering those nights, with her, in his dreams
And how he felt at this whole love's start
Where they'd be one forever, to him, oh how it seemed

Well this girl's name was Katie, and his Steve
And oh how tears were shed, by them both, when they were forced to leave
But in the past that was, so now he holds her hand
Two angels together, forever they'll stand

Once in a lifetime, and not one time more
Fate takes hold, luck is lent
From out of the blue, a miracle occurs
Hearts reunite, Together Again

An old couple now, a lifetime of love
They've conquered all, risen together, above
Together, all the years, oh how they've spent
And to each other, all their love they have sent

Feeling each others hearts beating every morning
Through all the decades, all the happy years
Steve's heart though, one of these days, stopped without warning
And Katie's wrinkled face, moistened with tears

How could Katie live now, without her beloved by her side
Knowing that beside her, his heart slowly died?
She dreams every night now, just as he did before, of heaven
Where they'll be Together Again

Once in a lifetime, and not one time more
Fate takes hold, luck is lent
From out of the blue, a miracle occurs
Hearts reunite, Together Again


Details | Lyric | |

UNFOLD

The pain of change as it unfolds
Is oft a tale that stays untold
What is seen is a whole creature
not deep holes in the feature
nor concrete soles that makes his feet hurt

It all begins with a soft kiss
He is walking with a false bliss
Only following in paw prints
But the nature of mom's lips
Is to rob him of all innocence

Trapped in warm spindles of fear
A wrapped life form kindles in here
Four years bound to shingles of moss
Time to leave this life of sloths
Break free like that of a moth
and Rise again like Christ on the cross


Details | Light Poetry | |

Never Shall I Forget

Never Shall I forget the screams Never Shall I forget the intensity of the flames Never Shall I forget the revulsion of peoples faces Never Shall I forget the scarlet color of blood Never Shall I forget the sighs of the ghosts Never Shall I forget the remains of the pieces of the puzzles left unsolved Never Shall I forget the whispers of the dead Never Shall I forget the echoes of bangs, endless bangs Never Shall I forget this nightmare Never Shall I forget the race The race to live


Details | Prose | |

A Happy Ending

A ringing bell in the near-distance makes her delicate body tremble, as she sat on the corner of the opaquely purple stained living room sofa. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. She grew in despair of how that pattern of sound had aroused the tiny hairs on her crinkling hands. She exhales repulsively the last draft of the cigarette she just turned off. A glance at the silver-rimmed ashtray, which rests an arm’s reach away, powerfully depicts that it was one of those nights again. 

 She was content not too long ago. Pampered by his tender words. He was the father of the children they never had. She would name her first born Alexander. Defender of Man. They would live a joyful life, far away from the city’s lights. Far away from it all. 

 That day he did not pick up his gun and secure it in his holster from the smoothly sanded wooden table near the bed they shared as he went to work. That day he did not kiss her forehead, a gesture of safety, which she was so used to every morning. The silent kiss reassured her, everything will be okay and that he will be back sooner than later. That day he did not wake her up from her sleep. Not intentionally at least. That day she woke up to the sound of a bang in the near-distance of their home. That day she was surrounded with thick red. That day she understood how selfish human beings can be. 

She began to shiver uncontrollably, tightly grabbing her left elbow with her right hand. She picks up a container of sky blue ovals which lay on the table in front of her next to her near-empty pack of cigarettes. She recalls what the doctor had said, “One every time you get an attack, ONE ONLY.” One never did the job, neither did five. That day she took ten. That day she slept well.


Details | Free verse | |

The Fear

The Aphotic rays reach higher
And shame, shade reigns over all
Lacuna, Apathy is all I feel as I fall into the ashed grave
I'm living, the slowest way to die
Elysia, rapture where are you now

What will I do when the flame is extinguished 
What will I do when I drown in ash
What will I do when they sing my name in funeral dirges 
How can this be all, one short organic vitality
Scares to die, but afraid of a new day

Scared to die, but so afraid of a new day
Will I Ressructe to Paradise, burn in Hell, or lay in Sheol
Is this a there is, one feather, to the dirge
My life so long - my suffering grows
Scared to die, but so afraid of a new day

In all of the ashes, a flame begins
Once again, here I am
Living, the slowest way to die


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

No Parachutes,safety nets,souls,or hope

Love is whispered and not forgotten
If this be so
I deaf to soft lipped invitations seek no thought of hope
I of no past collection hold thought
To forget is gruesome and beautiful

My eyes, swift allies in my war of world tell no lies

Silent in the 4 walled chalkboard blue
Shakespearean mad men twist their tongues with words of bland hue

I believe the concept of Ugliness is more profound than that of beauty
Dreams of my bladed face fill up behind my eyes...scratching my mind

Nothing goes SURPRISE! anymore
To love and lose is not the exciting protagonist to never having lost love

the optimists run in circles
pretenders of despair hunt themselves

Every street is Desolation row and my window is covered with blood

Nothing comforts anything
No advice

....just surprises


Details | Romanticism | |

Asphyxiation

        As the golden rays of sunlight creep into my bedroom window,
I hold my tears back, yearning for just a few more hours to hold you.
	Time has grown to be my nemesis, my curse,
For I realize that when the sun ascends into the heavens, I descend into the pits of hell. 
	As I give in to your embrace and caress your tender caramel skin,
I dream of time coming to a standstill, where eternity is our safe haven.
	For now though I must press my lips against yours and say my farewells,
Slowly walking away, gazing back as you depart, I begin to call out to you. 
	Don’t abandon me, let us travel the world, and discover things
 We never dreamed of, and grow old together.
	However you can’t hear me say these absurd things, and I begin to asphyxiate,
I lust for the sensation of your touch, and I yearn for the echo of your voice.
	Patience, I tell myself, in due time we will be as we should,
And when that time comes we shall watch the sun rise every morning and I will breathe
effortlessly.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dwayne Anthony Woods 1973-1996

so much pain
Lord why did you have to take Dwayne

I dont mean to question your judgement
but I just miss my cousin

in hindsight I can see that we was living wrong
but I dont think the cure was two bullets in his lungs

at the funeral while they quote proverbs and Psalms
I'm holding on his moms arm trying to keep her calm

she crying my sons another homocide victim
if that bullet would have knicked him it would have gotten our attention


Details | Rhyme | |

Dark Side Of Love

He used to be so fun and happy
Now he seems so sad and angry
He never seems to smile anymore
I’ve never seen him this way before
I just want my old friend back
The one who could always make me laugh

It only got worse as time went on
It was then I knew my old friend was gone
He started to get far and distant
I tried, but I couldn’t make sense of it
I started to wonder what went wrong
Was it something that could be undone?

I can see the evil gleam in his eyes
It’s all part of his journey to the dark side
Looking back I can’t help but feel it’s all my fault
Even thought it was his own choice to join the cult
I know there’s no one to blame
And in the end he couldn’t be tamed


Details | Didactic | |

Second Thoughts

Why we always look away
From what our eyes desire to see?

Then we think
‘I should have…’

We look back
And we can’t see

It walked away -
We let it be

Why it always walks away
When we want to give a try?

We look back every day
And we pray for one last stand

Then we think back in regret
‘Why i hadn’t…’
Each time we cry

One day we will forget-
The day when we die


Details | Rhyme | |

Dancing On The Edge Of A Pin

She was a tiny angel of a woman
mindlessly moving, in a chemical faze
her heart baracaded, tormented
from her long, lonely days 
while dancing on the edge of a pin.

Dreaming images with her feet, twirling
oblivious on a pole, 
trying to live a shoddy role
stripped of dignity, ripped of grace
imposed upon her lifeless soul
 
Her teardrops falling, slowly slipping,
silently dripping, leaving behind 
their clear, salty trace 
as they slide down her cheeks, 
like icy blue, watery veins
on her tear, stained face

She dances mindlessly
from one seedy cloud to another
in faded memories blurred by her past 
Through hazy, watery depths she bleeds
tying to quench a thirst so deep
in her hemorrhaged, sedated heart,
so worn, so  torn, 
by her dreams that did not last               
 
As she slides down the pole~
she floats in a hazy, igneous swirl
of aqueous diluted anesthesia.
Demons eat and devour through
her darkened descent of amnesia

Painful depths that turn and twist
in her hazy, muddled reality
of unspeakable memories
that cannot exist,
lest they drive her deeper....
to a shattered demise 
 
Her childhood dreams 
stripped cruelly of their parts, 
allowing her mind to wander
in an unconscious state of grace
from hungry teeth marks
left on her innocent, delicate skin
 
Cheap neon lights bathed
the trashy, shoddy floors
that smell of stale cigarettes
and booze in seedy, darkened bars 
Dangerous, dingy, low rent neighborhoods,
leased by lurking, slovenly men
who try and grope her every move.
 
She sits on a bar stool
sipping amber, colored water
from a dirty, shot glass
waiting for drunk, greasy men
to approach, handing her
their rumpled, grimy cash.
 
Two dollars a dance~
to the tune of one weary, old song.
Or ten dollars an hour
to some bleary eyed man
for an endless moment
she'll dutifully belong.
 
Shadowy features, biting at her heels
Unnamed creatures
gripping, ripping her heart
into clawed, broken shreds of steel
from many wounds that cannot heal

One sad morning, 
the headlines of the daily news
printed one more obituary
of a life badly abused.

Her parents were sent
a note from the club
 that said:
 
"Your daughter used to work here,
        will you please stop by....
     and pick up her clothes and shoes?"



 
 


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Shadows Of Pain

Hollowed eyes and tortured soul 
Spitting words that didn't flow 
Forcing smiles that always faded 
His memories fond, distorted and jaded
Ups and downs, half smiles and frowns
His mind was spinning round and round 
A heart bigger than a sunrise sky 
So numbed he left and didn't say goodbye 
The darkness seized him, held him tight
Squeezed so hard life became a fight 
A fight to eat, a fight to breathe 
Hatred flowed and emotions seethed 
He never forgot and never forgave 
The angst inside him dug his early grave
Handsome groom, number one dad 
The best friend I truly ever had 
Woke up one day not feeling well
Couldn't take this life in hell 
Began his journey to what comes after
Mom comes home, finds him hanging from a rafter 
Terror sets in and shock takes over 
In a blink of an eye their marriage was over 
Two nightmarish calls, one to each daughter 
Cries and screams like lambs at the slaughter 
And so we march on, soldiers in a state of shock 
Thinking it's him, every phone call and knock 
Now, I hope, his tortured soul's at peace 
But we, the survivors, are haunted with memories and grief 
Does the cycle continue - depression and shame? 
Will I follow my father through the shadows of pain?


Details | I do not know? | |

Can't Be Friends

Before, while, and after I said goodbye
I couldn't help but sit there and cry.
I cried on and off for 7 hours and slept one
Woke up and cried again, I still wasn't even done.

Two more hours…wake up again.
Every so often a tear falls in the open.
I literally feel an aching pain in my chest
Thinking of how I lost you, wanting to forget.

I'm feeling sick and I still haven't ate.
I want you…my thoughts aren't straight.
Mane, almost every tweet...is about you
And almost every thought…is about who?

Someone who could have been playing me
Or showing me where my desires could lead.
I wanted to tell you everything, I wanted to say more,
There wasn't enough time and now my broken heart's feeling so sore.

I just wanna be alone and listen to this depressing song,
I can't get you out of my head... it hurts. Is that wrong?
I understand that I may be foolish wasting my time hurting over you.
But in all honesty my dear, I really wanted us to be something too. 


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck

I'm like a lion
Tryin to be  trained
to behave in a cage, but
I wasnt born to be tame
Full of stress and rage
 Im compressed and chained
Infected with depression
beCause I cant catch a break
Lifes taste is so tart
In pain from my scars
Stained by lame luck
Stuck behind apace car
I strive to write
But all I can type is the space bar
I'm Pervaded with doubt
About to freakout
Quick Someone bail me out
I would sniff my way out
but I got this cyst on my snout
From 6 years of this drought
Im sittin with this could of pout
Stickin to me like jam from a can
like melted candy in your hand
I'M a pantree full of Spam
 A Letter without the stamp
A debtor without a plan
Like chicken on a pan without any Pam,
Damn I'm starting to get pissed
 I got to devise a plan, before I break my fist,
Punching this brick wall, I got the spit but no ball
got the wits with no squall, like a toliet with no stall
 Slippin in a pit fall, Shiz just snow balls
I want to brawl, missed last call
My Stick shift just stalled,
This lawl has no intention at stopin at all
And I'm kicking myself in the balls
like old men walking up and down the halls
so i flop, just like a dust mop
Now i got knots in my food box
The size of king kongs rocks and
Every door has been locked
I try to soar but its all for not


Details | Lyric | |

I Wish It Would Rain

Dark clouds hanging over me I feel so alone I don't know who to turn to I want so bad to run away Yet I know that the clouds will just follow me and I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain I really don't know where this all came from My heart is aching My Head is so full Sleep doesn't come easy And I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain Each day I paste on a smile I try so hard to hide What is going on inside I wish I could let go Not hold it so close I don't know who to turn to though And So I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain I want so bad to hide Let it all go Have a good cry It doesn't seem possible I have to stay strong Even though I feel like I am falling apart And my heart is breaking I Wish It Would Rain Wash away the dirt And the pain Hide the tears Let it all go down the drain Maybe then the clouds would go away I wouldn't feel so alone My heart would stop aching And I wouldn't have to keep hiding What I am Feeling inside


Details | Free verse | |

They

They pronounce to me there is but no ordinary
Then how is it that being dissimilar achievable?
They notify me everyone is diverse
Then is it that being diverse to be ordinary?

They advise to me there is no flawlessness 
But is perfection attainable?
They inform me it is once you do everything acceptably 
So what happens when everything is accepted inaccurately?

They tell me an assortment of things
They inquire about my thoughts
But I have learned time after time to declare to ‘them’:
I want to be the me I once sought


Details | Couplet | |

Memories - Abuse

Oh mom I see your blood.
It runs from your nose like a flood.

I cannot run or even hide.
I am screaming inside.

Why is he after me.
I am too little to flee.

I cannot scream or cry loud.
Oh God who am I now.

Where are you mom for I fear.
Oh God, I need you near.

I am so confused.
Why have I been abused.

Mom I see an Angel near.
Now we have nothing to fear.

Why did he do these things to us...

Edward J. Ebbs :(


Details | Rhyme | |

Football pains

It was right there, right past our grasps
The playoffs gone just that fast
The last year, it was our final chance
We went hard, but it seems we never had a chance

Tears leave eyes as we undress
Removing our pads to make the burden less
The coach comes in and his eyes are red
Said he was proud of us, we worked until our hearts bled

I just watched, a stoic face and a stoned heart
I showed no emotions but i felt the loss
I embraced the other seniors in my turn
With dry eyes to soothe the burn

The juniors watched us, not quite understanding
But they felt it, the pain we was withstanding
Leaving the locker room, we embraced the ones we loved
Eyed blank as they tried to wipe away the blood

What's past is past, there's nothing we can do
Its just a game, a sport said a few
But when you put that much effort and pain in
And you lose, its hard.. so hard not to be blue


Details | Elegy | |

A lament with glass of whiskey

I devour the time I came by -
By divine grace the twilight glinted
With the bedewed lips I felt mine
As I took the sip from my glass of whiskey 
Blended with soda and ice.
The wind passed by the solstice time
I greeted the solitude that I took pride
With my nerves resting at peace
Yet I revived my soul to see her clearly in my mind's eye.
Drops fell upon my sour cheeks
Yet I veiled those with an ethereal smile
As I poured another sip  from my glass of whiskey
I moaned with her fading memoirs 
As my senses were getting confined.
I tried to speak but I couldn't whisper even
As I saw her going away with someone
I tried to stop but I couldn't walk even
When I realized I lost my nerves, I lost my senses
And I let her go, pouring another to my whiskey glass. 
For once I feared and I shivered
And to honor my soul I tried to cheer
Neither I was drunk, nor it was cold
I opined my soul among the mortals of solitude
And I inhered with her memoirs by the twilight
That shone - as I poured a drop of my tears
in my whiskey glass.


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost love but I want u back

Lost love, I lost love you lost love and were both hurting. Let's just be like forget it and give up. But no I will life u and I the best I can. I lost u but I love you more then anything in this world. I'm not over you. You changed my life and I gave up on us i love you still I hope u see this and see how much u many to me. I love you and our lost love.


Details | Free verse | |

My Mama

My Mama she trips out in the moon light
when I’m safely tucked up in bed
she dresses to wow her audience
but I know not of her occupation
when I ask I am greeted by silence
and then “You will understand when you grow up”

My Mama she returns at break of day
before the curtains begin to twitch or draw
she’ll come in exhausted and fix my breakfast
then checking in on me she’ll wake me for school
before she goes off to bed – she’ll see me later
to ask about my day and play

A Mamas kiss, a smile, a hug, warmth, food and a roof
Yet when we go out together people turn 
to talk to one another, quietly nodding
Funny looks are cast our way and yet not one shall speak to us
Aged nine in school I find out why 
when another child will laugh

“Ya Mama works the streets
lies on her back, watches the sky – to feed ya
-Tis what my Ma said”
It makes me cry
I love my Mama
but this shame hurts

I want to die…


Details | I do not know? | |

What people might think

People may say that i am a spoiled little brat.
    Only becuase they see what they wan't to see.
   We all have been through things in our life time that we just want to forget, but we just can't  seem to forget.

My mom has put me through many things "but lets not say" in the past.  And i have learned from some of those things.  It made me a stronger person inside and outside. 

  I don't know my father at all. I wasn't even born when my mom was around him.
 But i have a loving family.

I would never change my past even if i had the chance.  Becuase if i did then i wouldn't be 
where i am now.

 People who are out there that are judging people based on how they act or look, are stupid. Wise up and grow up... 
Those people you judge have a GOOD reason for the way they look or act.
 And maybe they need some one there to talk to. To get things off their 
back.

                        Just like the saying. "Don't judge a book by it's cover"



*just something  that i had to say* :)comment if you have a thought (or fav poem if you like it)*
  
                                        


Details | Free verse | |

Theatrical Life

No drama,
Criticized,
No scene,
Criticized,
No theater,
Critized,
No life,
Criticized,
No death,
Criticized...

A hipnotic spell,
A happy comedy,
An impact of tragedy,
A depressive sorrow,
A constant paranoia,
A living psychology,
A passing psychiatry...

An endless beginning...


Details | Hybronnet | |

Faded Life

Stuck in a situation, Not knowing what to do? Blocked from all directions, Tired of being sick, throwing and feeling weak, The people I thought I can trust walked away, I am tired of selfish people, I am tired of being alone and fighting this without any support, When this should be your responsibility too! All you want to do party and play, I am tired of facing problems one after another, I need peace, relax and have nothing to worry, Yet you bring hell to me! All you care about is you and your career, While I give my life and risk everything for us & baby, I give up my family, my car and now I am broke and homeless, And all you care about is you and your dreams, It bothers me how you think & blind to see, My dreams and goals for my life is in the trash can, You keep asking for respect yet you cant even understand your women, Without a cause there is no effect, I just wish you would understand that! This is not about who wins or looses! This is about us fixing problems togather as ONE!


Details | Free verse | |

The Piano Stand

I was sitting at the piano stand,
cracking my hands, getting ready to play,
when a man walked in, no one knew who,
he was, because no one had seen him in a while.

He sat in a chair, his hair so blonde and long as could be,
my hand touched the piano key,
I realized it was my dad not that it was bad,
just why was he here, i can't bare to see his face.

I stopped playing,
I started saying,
How mad i am for his fame,
He walked out of the school in shame.

I wondered why he was famous and what for,
He left me and my brothers to be poor,
For some other.

I can never forgive him,
but i'll let him live on in his fame,
for i have nothing to shame.
For i knew he would not claim,
me as a daughter or friend.

I moved my hands from the keys on the piano,
for i have moved on to another Piano Stand.


Details | Free verse | |

A Chance Encounter

A Chance Encounter A chance encounter the other day Got me chatting to a stranger Just for some time to pass away. He was very well groomed, very smart. Spoke well too, seemed a decent sort. I told him a little tale I had learned whilst at work. Outside a building that’s up for sale Close to the centre of the town A queue of people gathered. Old clothes, hand me downs. Inside people of good heart and souls Were behind tables long. And a kind of soup was poured into bowls. A slice of bread was added to each one poured. As the hungry-eyed came through the door. As each one passed a thank you was heard. Grateful for the meal today. A simple reply least we can do. All was silent no complaints from the poor. Till a young voice said, ‘Please Mummy I want more.’ I sat back in my chair waiting for a reply. The guy opposite gave a big sigh. He said, ‘Things were tough in those days Very hard for the poor in the Victorian Age. They were ignored, did not count, How could others treat them like that?’ No-one should be without the means I say, To feed and clothe their children today. I looked at him and shook my head. My dear friend you misunderstand The tale was not yesteryear or a foreign land. I visited a local food bank the day before last. And like you I was taken aback. Unless with my eyes I had seen, The myth about scroungers I would still believe. Some get the dregs, others get the cream. This is Great Britain in 2013. But the people of our Nation are strong In times of strife they speak as one. ‘We are mighty as Caesar, mighty as Rome.’ ‘ NI CARBORUNDUM BASTARDORUM’


Details | Ballad | |

Without You (Song)

Daylight fade,
Burning through my eyes,
She walked out of my life
Again, I'm feeling low,
One more time girl here we go,
Now I'm falling, a final time,
Wish the sunlight didn't shine

It's getting critical
But girl I just can't help it,
I'm feeling miserable
Without you I'm so helpless,
I can't even sleep
Don't want to be, without you,
It's getting hard to breathe,
There is no me, without you,

And baby I try and try
to let you go,
The more I fight,
The more I know,
There's nothing in this life,
I want to do,
Without you,

Passing days,
I try to ease my mind,
I want make it this time,
because, she's really gone,
Lying here I'm all alone,
with nothing, to comfort me,
I'm hanging on to memories,

It's getting critical
But girl I just can't help it,
I'm feeling miserable
Without you I'm so helpless,
I can't even sleep
Don't want to be, without you,
It's getting hard to breathe,
There is no me, without you,


And baby I try and try
to let you go,
The more I fight,
The more I know,
There's nothing in this life,
I want to do,
Without you,

It's getting critical,
Girl I just can't help it,

There's nothing
in this life,
I want to do,
Without you


Details | Senryu | |

Cutter

Contact with the skin
It hurts but in a good way
Now I feel alive.


Details | Rhyme | |

Someone Stole My Shoes

I needed to go to school that Friday Afternoon, but Someone Stole My Shoes. He Rocked my 
shoes at school thinking he was cool but everyone looked at him like he was just A fool A 
warned out used tool. He was popular always spectacular but started to be treated regular. Had so many friends but then that soon came to an end, and his friends started to become the walls  and the floors and the sky way up high. For no one would listen to his cries at night, when he had turned of his light in the middle of the night when nothing would come right. He didn't know what was happening to his life? He walked to school lifting his head up with A smile making every moment worth while, but under that smile he was mad and sad everyone at home treated him bad, even his own Mum and Dad. Sat and ate lunch in the toilets with the door locked so the jocks wouldn't knock and know that he was like A rock or A stone sitting all alone, wishing that he could go home. He cried and watched the time go by just praying that this moment of life would fly up and disappear into the beautiful blue sky. He cried and cried, contemplating on suicide. Had no more friends and bled inside his heart, no one cared to hear his part. He looked down to the ground and saw the shoes that he stole, he cried in shame and said "Im too blame". He returned the shoes to my door and left A note and he wrote, "No one Knows you Wiko, We shouldn't judge someone until we've walked in their shoes, taken A look at their view, feel the feeling of getting abused and used and being bruised and rejected feeling like your worlds be injected and infected with A disease. And Then We have every right to Judge ones life".
 
Im so sorry I Stole Your Shoes.

- Wiko Te Maru


Details | Rhyme | |

The Coldest Dream

Words as smooth as melting ice, And as cold as cold can be . . . To hear them only one more time Would surely be the death of me. The night-mares surface once again, But from where inside my mind? Few moments pass when he occurs In winding headaches so unkind. Nights have passed without deep slumber, And nights have passed with deepest rest, But whether I find sleep, or not, I find the nights without him best.


Details | Narrative | |

He'd Just Discovered Suspenders

No job 
No prospects
No optimism 
It took all his energy
Just to fake a smile 
Health eroding 
At the speed of light 
His world grew smaller by the 
second 
Former small pleasures 
Transformed into ambivalence 
Blank and numb 
He walked blindly 
There were no solutions 
To any of his problems 
And then one day 
Out of the clear blue sky 
He smiled without effort 
I even caught a glimmer 
Of a spark in his eye 
Life became a little more 
pleasant 
We all cheered him on silently 
Me his number one fan.

As his confidence had 
diminished 
His gut had grown larger 
He wore his belt below it 
But his pants always slid down 
Far enough to annoy him 
Another problem 
With no solution 
One day, after months 
With the spark in his eye 
He chose to die 
It was a shock because 
He'd just discovered 
suspenders.


Details | Free verse | |

There's Not Much More to Say

Now night hangs heavy
over me.

And meanwhile,
I am alone.
Lost in the past.

Why do I stare at you, in my mind,
with your dark eyes living velvet
in which I lose myself?
My fate's contained in yours.

Let us be extremely frank
and speak the truth about ourselves --
share our anxieties together --
discuss between us what sort
we can't be any longer,what sort
we now desire to be.

Fallen out of love with self-conceit
we shall not regret the loss.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Memories Remain

Photographs are taken away

Memories of a lifetime are forgotten

Dust has been scattered over all the fingerprints

Dishes packed away

Telephones are no longer ringing

Clothes still unused

Records are no longer playing

Blood still remains on the carpet

No more sunshine

No laughter

Just the haunting silence

The dead still appear in the darkness of the corners

The clock rings that same old lullaby

Its too late to say goodbye

But not too late to make up with the ghosts








Details | Narrative | |

Chance

Chance

By BJ Welsh

With life and living we take our chance
Nodding in agreement to a furtive glance
Waking up each day is a chance we take
That life will deliver us for Heaven’s sake
We awake each sunrise with a hope reborn
Chance seeing an other suffer and torn

It’s one other’s life you see at a glance
Hoping for approval, it’s but a chance
The life you witness as others pass
The pain inside may subside, alas
Hoping to see one as you
The chance you take to find two

Running out of time the clock is ticking
Chance there are others whose lives aren’t clicking
Great as that may be, the chance you’re all alone rises
Furtive glances from beneath disguises
Chance that hiding the pain and hurt won’t last
The agony you feel will not be fast

Chance you soon become discovered
In your waking hours its’ uncovered
You’ve lived a life of hurt and pain
 The chance you’ve taken may have been in vain 




Details | Free verse | |

Like the frightened Jackrabbit, I run away from Love

Jump up and down like a jackrabbit
running through meadows
running from what?
Could it be heartbreak,
a venemous snake that hides in the grass,
hiding with fangs ready to pierce the tender skin
upon the tight, bronze flesh of everyday life?
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now!
I need a vacation a long way away from the faceless smiles
and ignorance of young girls, who don't look at you,
who don't show you love and respect.
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now,
as jumping spiders hop everywhere, crawling eight legs around me
my soul black like carcoal, but my heart still beating
slower this time, not like the days before
and like the jackrabbit running from anything and everything,
I run to seek love and vanish away from the empty voids
that people call, their souls.
Recording a film with no tape,
talking to a woman you love, but not having the guts to tell her how you really feel
Jump my boy, like a jackrabbit, take my advice
tell her before she leaves
turns down the endless avenues of endless dark love
the trees grow taller, taller than you
and you sit there feeling away yourself die, missing out in life.
I cannot see you lose your love.
Say it, say it, Say it!!! Tell her! Tell her! Build the guts up!
Build up the courage, tell her how you feel. Take her by the hand and never say goodbye! Never say goodnight, stay with her till the flight comes in the morning
of the first rays of sun shine through your dorm room take her and love her!
Do not be like me, the jackrabbit! I see no happiness
Reading poetry it makes me sad,
to write of others falling in love and I never finding the one.
People tell me, you'll find yours, have hope
but I am a frightened little jackrabbit
who flees from sounds of deep emotions, not having courage to fall in love,
not building the guts up to tell her how I really feel.
She walks alone, I find my oppertunity and sing my love song
She smiles and moves on,
please tell me I cannot fight anymore.
All I have to say is Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye
I need a vacation
to go to some sandy beach on an island of love
and write and write and write, the same poetry that depresses me
but makes you all fall in love with words!
Fiction about love stories, please kiss me
Blue eyed death comes, plays a game of chess with me
I bet twenty, he bets my soul
Kiss me death, the only love I'll ever get,
besides my poet friends who kiss my ass
Listen to my heart, truely, I don't write of beauty
I write for the sorrow soul, the fleeing jackrabbit
running away from love.....


Details | I do not know? | |

You hurt me but I still love you

You hurt me but why do I still love you? You two timed me and it hurts to see you go. How do I trust you? How can I love you any more? You left when I gave up on us but then you came crawling back what do I do or say I love you or I hate you? What do you expect me to say to you that I'm gonna take back and say its ok? No I can't do that. You lied to me and cheated thank before you cheat next time.


Details | I do not know? | |

The White of Your Eyes

As I look at the whites of your eyes
I feel horror, fear rumbling inside me.

I grind my teeth together when I see you walking.

I fear you, I fear when you talk, shout, when you raise your hand.

I'v always feared you, but no more.
The fear I had of you I turned it into courage.

Now I no longer fear you.
I laugh when you raise your hand, when you shout.

Cuz the only thing I see you as...
Is a dead man walking.

And now your in the ground where you belong.


( If you may PLEASE comment of Mail me. Sorry i havn't been on in a long time... ALOT has happened this year to me)


Details | Rhyme | |

Binge and Purge

Musta lost five pounds today
hunger hurts
but I suffer anyway
stomach shrinks 
along with guilt
hope this improves 
the way I'm built


Details | Narrative | |

SOUNDS

                 




              Morning came as whispers in my ear slowly says echoing I love you
  The embrace and let go of the warmth of the sun and sheet move it was a cue
         The voice echoing that whispers in my ears again says do you hear that?
                 The gurgle of the coffee, and the smell of caffeine in the air sat
             A determine voice still echoing says it is time for you to get up my love
                         As I open my eyes I look outside as I see one dove 
              Cooing me, and it's bright white feathers has gotten my attention
     As I looked around my dream of my love disappears as it put me into depression
                  A sadness crackled into my heart, and a discerning look came to
            I wake up every morning hearing her voice in the summer morning dew


Details | Rhyme | |

We Have A SIN Condition

We Have A Sin Condition! We have more technology, but we have a problem! We have many “issues.” And don’t know how to solve them! Governments answer seems to be “spend, spend, spend.” But we have this condition, that God calls; SIN! Just look at the problems that are all around you! It’s amazing that they don’t “overwhelm you!” There’s all sorts of evil all cross our land! But there’s something very few understand! We’ve sent men to the moon and outer space! Yet very few reach out and receive God’s grace! The Bible says, “the heart of the man is sinful.” Without God, man’s heart is never “peaceful!” Jesus love provides for the world that fails us! He offers his love! Simply because he loves us! There’s no “condition.” His love is freely given! Won’t you accept him? And be totally forgiven? Where there’s sin. God’s grace does much more abound! There’s a new life for you! Just waiting to be found! Our sins for his love! What more could one ask? And enjoy a love and peace that will ALWAYS LAST! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Ballad | |

Life As We Know It

Sometimes we wonder why we are even here on this earth.  With all the heartache, pain, and strife.  We ask ourselves why we have to go through these things.  We often ask what exactly we did to deserve for these things to happen.  There is no easy explanation.  Life, Love and Understanding is complicated. You can wait your whole life for that one chance for things to go your way, for things to fall into place.  Yet, when you think they have it can often just be a facade...a trick if you will.  We are left to pick up the pieces of what we once called our life.  Then you are left asking yourself...WAS IT ALL REALLY WORTH IT????  Our answer may be yes and it may be no.  It's hard to tell where the "chips may fall".  All the tears we shed, that fall down like rain in a storm.  When we love, most of us love with all of our heart, OUR SOUL, OUR WHOLE BEING.


Details | Rhyme | |

i am alive

love can lie to the naked eye
we deceive ourselves
and know not why
the things we hear 
should kill a love
make us call ourselves liars
is what love does

the truth can be so inconvenient
forcing a heart to be lenient
when rage and anger should over flow
but that  would upset
the peace that we know

this fear we have of losing beauty
this uncontrollable urge
to force the unity
when all the tools of love
have been exhausted
and the only thing left
is to admit, you lost it.

when it's all done and through
and when the self regains
it's respect for you
when all the embarrassment
and self loathing has left
your are stronger in that respect
there is strength to be found
in being a reject

learning a lesson others
have yet to learn
having been through the fire
i may never again burn
having a message 
of how to survive
how i fought my greatest enemy
myself. and yet i am still alive.


Details | I do not know? | |

Losing You

Crying over someone who's probably not even missing me.
My poor heart's steady crumbling like an eroded rock in the sea.
Walking around as if you haven't even crossed my mind
As soon as I get alone all this pain just reveals itself, unwinds.

I didn't think I'd lose you like this... I was unprepared.
Things like this? That's why attachment gives me such a scare.
You don't even know how much I'm hurting inside Edmond.
I'm crying again... haven't eaten... barely been sleeping.

So many ways for you to be taken from me, I didn't see this.
I'm so frustrated... I'm so sad... but not at all pissed.
My dad's reasonings are more than reasonable, I'll do as he says,
But I miss waking up to your voice... and those couple lettered texts.






I am so ...sad.


Details | Lyric | |

I Aim (Song)

Staring at shadows,
Squeezing my pillow,
Trying to forget 
you are gone,
Refuse to let go of,
The faint taste of true love,
Your presence
is lingering on,

Since you walked 
away from me
I cannot bear
to see the day,
The waking sunlight
through my window
Takes your
memory away,
 
If I could
see you again
I'd say..
For you,
I Aim,

I aim to be
I aim to see
The day your love
once again belongs to me,
Since you left,
I'm just not the same,
because its for your love
I Aim

The friends 
who still know me
Know
 I'm fading slowly
Baby, I'm not 
doing too well,
Each day 
as I'm waking
For you I'm waiting,
Loving you
 and no one else,

When I, wake up 
in the morning,
All I feel 
is empty space,
Each second 
I spend breathing,
is me thinking
 of your face,

If I could
see you again
I'd say..
For you,
I Aim,

I aim to be
I aim to see
The day your love
once again belongs to me,
Since you left,
I'm just not the same,
because its for your love
I Aim


Details | Rhyme | |

Guilt Overflows

Guilt overflows
with a spark of revilement
its decay spreads like fire, 

blinding...conniving...

binding up in its sticky debris
still surviving
tangled whispers bleeding through me
reminders of a depthless past...
listen to the sobs beneath me, 
the hardness of your ears meet my lips at last
deep inside a heap of lies, 
refusing my cries
you can never see how binded I am...
how blinded I am.
you too cannot see...you cannot see
though your eyes meet me, 
still, you cannot see.
the least you can do is listen
listen carefully,
sight is mere illusion, 
follow the voice intently,
it cries softly, oh so softly...
before it dies away unnoticed 
It whispers steadily, 

Remember me, 

Remember me...


Details | Free verse | |

Christmas 2009

Recession made Christmas harder than ever before
Family’s splitting – money the core
Dad’s leaving to live on the street
So that young hungry mouths are able to eat
That some extra cash might be in the house
and children might learn what Christmas is about?
But without Dad gone, roof would be lost
for the bills are much higher – we can’t meet the cost
No longer can the average family budget
2009, jobs lost, even working struggle to afford it
Commercialism needs to stop building hopes and dreams
Childern don’t understand you are busting at the seams
Disappointment reigns as kids outside taunt and tease
No longer we fit in we’re all on our knees
Sinking. Even love has fallen apart
We don’t want this Christmas just haven’t the heart!
Expectation lower, depressions set in
Politicians not helping the hole we’re all in
Instead raising taxes they’ll crucify more
and this miserable life could be at your door
Will someone tell them that family should be together
sharing love, life, hopes dreams whatever they weather


Details | Prose Poetry | |

TONIGHT by Anna Lo P

..The clock ticks, the Time pass
  Coffee I sip, as I taste, Alas!
  One more cigarette, almost up,
  What else is with me, me, still up!

  Waiting for the green light
  Beside your name in chat
  This computer, is already hot
  It's been on, since I last woke up!

  I don't know, I don't care,
  If they say, I look like a scare
  Eyes that look like of an owl
  Since I've been up like a fowl!

  To write another piece
  Of my sadness, of my tears
  The songs I always play
  Make my heart feel in dismay!

  Up all day till night
  Because my heart is in fright
  Will he then tell me"it's not alright"
  That is something I need to fight!

  Oh my! please give me a sign
  To be in sorrow, or should I be fine?
  It feels I'm running out of time
  That's how I feel, for all this time!

  The clock ticks, the Time pass
   Another coffee sips, I say Alas!
   Another cigarette I lit, just to be up
   What else is with me? just a memory on recap!..
  
   
    


Details | Free verse | |

life now

the life that you have now 
is the one you will cry over when you are removed from it 
it happens that many lives are taken 
away from the now and when we lived 
the can’t grow fast enough is bicycle hard to catch up to 
crispy in leaves, and, bare under the bark


Details | Lyric | |

My Struggles


My Struggles My mind grows weary. My eyes are teary. My heart often skips a beat. I toss and turn through the night. My soul and flesh continue to fight. I do what is wrong, but I desire what’s right. Inside I burn with fury, But outside I appear cool as a Winters breeze. A great storm is in the near future. Who will intervene before disaster strikes? Who will save me from the strong winds and hail? I can only pray that all goes well. I can only pray to survive this shipwreck. I can only pray to reach shore and be able to breathe again.


Details | Monoku | |

Betrayed

Deafened by my silent screams...helpless...I feel Betrayed.


Details | I do not know? | |

Leave love to the brave

LOVE shoves us into glistening meadows,
Of unimaginable warmth, where ecstasy glows
LOVE also leads us to teary graves,
Of uncontainable darkness, where pain enslaves
So, teenage girls trotting over,
To find the four leaf clover
I say, leave love to the absolute brave
‘cuz, It’s more than just a fluttering rave!


Details | Rhyme | |

The end game

Monuments all around our plot bare ground. You used to be my best friend. Now I’m left with nothing to shelter me from the wind. You say times of loss, the wounds that wont mend. A lock box for your heart, no chance the key will be handed to me again. New friends abound. Looks like you been getting around. Nights out on the town, no longer home bound. This I’m truly glad, your anxiety vary sad. Although a little mad, I never got the chance the others have. Hurt and lonely I’m paper. I’ve cut myself to shreds. Now frantically taping, the strips of me together again. Actively seeking the pieces I can’t seem to mend. You are origami. Three dimensional, your beginning to stand out. What beautiful folds you have made. Carefully crafted. I always knew you’d make that grade. I don’t feel played. Thoug