THERE HE WAS HOLDING OUT HIS HAND.
God, can I hold your hand and go with you?
My sweet child, it is I who will walk with you now! You walked down my path with and without faith. You took my protection to ease your pain. My shielded wings comfort you during your moments of suffering while your life staggered across the earth... Your love and devotion is what made you strong. Every time your dreams were broken. You managed to build more dreams in their place. You called my name during your happiest and saddest moments. You always ran up to me when you fell behind. Your secrets became our private talks. The key to your heart was always unlocked. I was there during your trials and troubles of tribulations. We could not speak, but it was my light that would not allow you to get weak.
Is this that dream of beauty? The one in the book my preacher spoke of.
Yes! I remember it now it is called paradise. I felt this company once before, Lord.
Many times, I have forsaken this light, and still it never left my door.
I felt it the day I was born, and the day I became baptized in your holy name.
I felt this light before, can you explain it some more?
Lord pleases clarify that day I fell down to my knees and accepted Jesus as my savior?
Every day since, I felt as if you stood away and walked on by, allowing me to face my own failures’. Was my life a waste in this impossible world?"
My child, this is the everlasting light you will feel every time your body is re-born onto a new road. This light never left you.
My sweet child did you not listen, Matthew *19:26* MY SON looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with ME all things are possible. My child you were not searching for the right answers.
My Lord everyone told me if I prayed you would come. Did I not pray right?
My child sometimes your heart asked for more than life itself, which left questions for someone else.
At times how could I answer when you shunned heaven away from your eyes?
The obvious question is whether this is the final immersing of your souls disguises.
Lord, I have other questions to ask.
What should I expect out of my personal sins? My testimonial sits in the palm of your hand.
My mind and my heart's inner core have been wicked since my adolescence days.
How is it that I am in your promise land?
Getting right with me has brought you here!
One more question My Heavenly Father.
Can I see her? I meant, could I see them? My Daughter, Mother's and Sisters~
God ... thoughts of death mourning a loss,
one after another, like falling hailstones cracking the tiles
of the substance of things not seen but feared. I could care less
God ... it's the longest night of my years caught in the toils
of doubts, of despair, of the sound of falling ice
that reverberates inside my faith in sudden slices
and outside this pen for sheep-raising still in fertile soil
I fail to get over the fence without a stile
Impotent to kiss resignation's toes
advocated by those who want my obedience and my tithes at all costs
A version of the interpretation of the oral traditions already translated into lies
Greeks, Romans, Monarchs, Despots, Rulers, Reformists, Stoics...
Impotent to listen to the duty of the silken stole
that pulls my crackling faith into its coils
Impotent to accept sacred writings chosen by lot
Impotent of praying more and thinking less
Impotent to breathe, to see, to walk through wind-blown salt and s i l t
measuring a time ... dark and lost
God, a profuse bleeding from a ruptured soul refusing to clot
Thoughts of death like tears of ice
when the electrocardiogram yells h h h
e p e p e
l l l p ... Where will be the lice
to suck my sins and tics?
to cough and gag and vomit my unfulfilled temptations into a cist?
My time of death has expired long time ago. Do you noticed it?
do you care about it?
Thoughts of death tickling upon my bare soles
I'll be nobody without a tag swaying from my toe
The night at its farthest point from the Sun and still so close
I need to believe it
God ... You need to believe it
I can kill you if my faith is lost
Avenge me not, for death has been a friend
and anger ill befits love's gentle wine.
All lovers true or not, must part, ascend:
rise, or fall, as life's trials their paths assign.
Still as bone, white as winter's snow my skin
by candle light, one can almost see inside.
My hair a gossamer halo, so thin,
my eyes, my blue eyes, still contain the tide.
I am your fair Persephone, your wife, bride,
and soon I will return to you Hades
to rise born on cherry blossom tides;
when in the earth, I can no longer bide.
Bless gentle Thanatos for his death sublime
and Hypnos, as in sleep, I do recline.
Within her frail shell, death abides
through the final hours, I remain by her side
fearing a forsaken place of webs that lie in rows
of haggard fields where everything forbidden grows
surrounded by caverns of mortal's deserted bones
she faintly whispered, "I want to go home"
Death awakens the wandering soul, affliction steps away
vanishing through corridors numbered by years of pain
yet, illuminates all delightful wanderings in between
eternity tugs at her robe to calm the heavy laden breaths
into softer mournful moans, she'll acquiesce
Within a midst of welcoming hosts rapt in lucent haze, hallowed air
transcends her delicate last breath, then earthly slumber ends
her requiem, immersed through immortal gates
never to be cast into a cold stone grave
Karen Anglesey 4/29/13
As I lay down to die I can see my soul being taken
before my eyes.
I see God before me.
I feel the sun shining on me.
The warmth invades my body.
No more feeling of cold surroundings.
I smell the spring flowers from a field.
I see the mountains with their peaks.
I see God before me
I hear the waters flow so peacefully.
I see a lake that is so calm with the mirror of a blue sky
That is above me.
I see God before me.
I am at peace and have no needs.
I am at happiness made just for me.
I feel no pain and have no illness.
I hear the birds singing just for me.
I see God before me.
I am lead by the hand through the field of harmony.
An Angel guides me with love.
A light blinds me.
I hear a symphony of Angels.
God is not before me now.
God is with me.
Say not to me,
that it will not matter a hundred years from now,
that I was here.
For surely I have touched one life in a positive way,
perhaps in daily prayer
I've called your name one day.
Having no profound accomplishments or delusions of fame,
and leaving no progeny
to perpetuate my name,
still, it will matter that I was here.
For I have quietly endeavored to sow, and I have watered.
I love and am loved--should one desire more?
Life is good and hopefully God is pleased.
The tracks I'll leave, it's true,
will not be so ingrained as to stand harsh winds of time
and they shall fade as the evening sun,
leaving somewhere, only a name and date chiseled in granite.
Perhaps, if only in thought,
one pausing o'er me should question, who was this man?
Let God simply whisper, that I am His.
Now my tendrilled soul,
Has found its pergola-- Christ--
To wind its way up....
How could you leave your loving bride?
Cut down in youth, still in your prime
Your rare blood disease appeared suddenly
Just four years of bliss till you were taken from me
When first I saw your face, those blue eyes stunned
So many adored you, but your kind heart I won
Just by showing you love and sharing our joy
Even my mama worshiped my special, sweet boy
Death seems to take the finest too soon
Their faces smile in stars embracing the moon
One day we shall be reunited, my love
Until then, I search for comfort in night sky above
Comfort comes quickly when his spirit visits
I see his eyes twinkling, how could I miss it
Whenever I pull a fresh fish from the sea
A worthy fisherman, John would be pleased
When I'm feeling down I need only resurrect
Precious memories of John I cherish and protect
*John was my beloved husband. Elegy in honor of Dr. Ram's contest.
Go now, rest your weary heart.
Against the soft moonlit night.
Walk into the valley of peace and tranquility.
Loosen those chains that bind your soul.
Let them fall to the ground, never look back.
Let the veil of time lift you up.
As the last breath of life seeps from your lips.
Float out of this world and into the light.
Through the veil of time, go now, no time to wait.
For now you are free, free to be who you really are.
Imagine you flying against the golden sun.
Fly with the spirits who light the nights.
Go now to the world beyond time.
Worn out with lost dreams are you.
Go now and let them come true.
Set yourself free from these bones.
Feb. 29th 2012 leap year
He is above us in the clouds
run through the fields and speak of thee
He will grow roses
I will be the stem of the roses
for I shall never leave your soil
You will be the tree I grow beneath
and he will be our rain.