You are a human being they told me, something you should treasure
But isn't a human being the only animal who kills for pleasure?
Man's inhumanity to man, a crime like no other
The first family on earth had brother killing brother
We are power hungry bastards from the cradle to the grave
We pillage other countries and the survivors we enslave
Politicians lie to their people saying only what they want to hear
Stripping their own of a sense of pride and instilling a state of fear
They speak of human rights and how our country has been torn
Then turn around and murder a child before he's even born
For killers and rapists and dealers the ACLU has led many fights
Then tell a six year old rape victim that she really has no civil rights
We can't teach about Jesus, our school teachers must be mum
We can teach about Hitler, Stalin and other human scum
People kill each other for no reason every day
Then a lower form of life, a lawyer saves his day
Where is justice? Nowhere in sight.
Anything is legal if the price is right
You are a human being. This is what they proudly proclaim
If I am a human being, then I should hang my head in shame.
A whole new twist to the same old story
Evil scientist in their laboratories
Creating monsters that live in the night
I often reflect on mankind's plight
As mankind drifts further from his soul
We seek things to fill the hole
The path of lies forever bends
Truth is straight and narrow my friends
As I see it getting bent in every way
I simply find myself compelled to pray
What will become of our sons and daughters
Will their souls be led to slaughter
As scientist seek out another way
To disprove what the bible has to say
Trillions spent in search of a ghost
Another theory of true reproach
Rainbow stars now fill the skies
I wonder what is hidden inside their lies
We can now place a robot up on Mars
But can't help the drunk at the local bar
Trillions more spent on a new space station
But we can't feed the hungry right here in our nation
Seems to me before we go further conquering space
We should maybe try to help out the human race
Our quest for knowledge has drove us insane
We are now so smart we don't use our brain
Our nation was founded "In God We Trust"
Our government says "Let it be covered in dust"
Even this lowly creature up out of the pen
Knows in his heart that thats a sin
Sometimes within the walls of today
We simply search for another way
To make this day all it should be
I must learn to live eternally
A blessing given or one took
I live my life inside a book
Each new day is another page
I sit in the circle and burn my sage
Asking Grandfather to help me see
Exactly what a true man should be
With the blood of an Indian and of a white
Life is most certainly a spiritual fight
Half of me hates how the other half-lives
The white man took all the Indian gives
Then the white man decided to take some more
Slaughtered the Indians from shore to shore
Brought an end to a beautiful way of life
“We will kill the man and rape the wife”
They called us heathens but don’t you know
Was the white man that had a heathen’s soul
Half and half, the blood of a breed
Poisoned by a white mans seed
It’s my Indian half I love the most
My white half is turning into a ghost
Through my veins flows the blood of a brave
Though I lived my life as my white halves slave
Jesus Christ, nailed to the cross for me
Now my Indian half enjoys living free
Though freedom is a frame of mind
In the circle of life it’s truth I find
With each new poem I’m able to see
A little bit deeper up inside of me
Which enables my soul to truly live
Making my heart strong enough to give
All the faith that is found in a seed
I reckon half and half, is good breed
Posted in respects to James Fraser
Thoughts that thrive on scattered dreams
shoot through the mind like laser beams
Hunger echoes a hollow song
Voices merge, intestines long
Lips are dry, and tongues are parched
Memories are pressed and starched
No miming board can take the heat
Hot irons that scorch the hands and feet.
Cold days flow into brackish nights
on borrowed hopes and collared pride
Answers wrapped in braided woes
Crushed, then scattered by angry toes
Worry stalks in cleated shoes
It leaves a track of pallid blue
Just when it seems to reach the rise
It folds then doubles up in size.
She has eyes that have seen all the sky
a smile that is both knowing and shy
Her brow is humble and also proud
Expressions as soft as a shifting cloud.
She is tall and frail like a river reed
Up until now the forest has been her creed
And words that once flowed like a river stream
Now she must search for what they mean
Where once the forest taught her each simple rule
Now she is thrust to study in a Western school
So her body conveys her intentions devout
She stays rooted despite her desire for flight
She absorbs new knowledge like sunlight itself
All her tears are like rain on this hard gained wealth
This shy forest spirit has blossomed and grown
In quiet moments we know where her thoughts have flown
This is my friend's daughter they adopted from Thailand at age 11.
In one year she was speaking fluent English.
She received-american-veterans jrotc-cadet--outstanding-cadet-award/ last year.
Only one cadet per detachment receives the award annually.
She is also a girl guide and on the Volley Ball Team.
I taught her papercrafts and she makes all her own beautiful greeting cards.
She is a true example of a girl rising.
She misses her sister in Thailand who was kept by the family and often thinks of them all
and is torn between the two worlds but understands she has more opportunity here.
Nightmares, jungles, blood on hands
Unjust war in distant lands
Scars that no one else can see
Memories doing battle with his sanity
Off to war, a rich man’s fool
Rich man’s son was off to school
Some came home in boxes, statistics mount
Media smiles announcing body count
Working man’s sons without a voice
Off to war without a choice
Coming home to hate, the fire fanned
Misdirected Anger in his native land
Dismayed with the war, activists groups
Pointing blame at the drafted troops
So many dead through the bloody nights
Protecting rubber trees and oil rights
After the storm, there was no calm
Soldiers coming home from Vietnam.
Dedicate to Vietnam vets who served valiantly,
unappreciated at home
Ooh what a confusion
Entering the world of spirituality, while
Keeping an eye on reality
As conclusion of this confusion
Reality has always been the illusion
When I try to look back, it hurts to start
A mother I was now in continual broken heart
In the innocence of that Sunday quietly shopping away
When my thoughts to humanity go in angered astray
One minute he held my hand, the next he was gone
In suspended silence I float amidst stared public throng
Questions through confusion as to where I stood last
Still feeling his hand, that loving maternal grasp
Lights became brighter, louder were the voices
Still confusion abounds in sporadic lost choices
Who could have taken him, where has he gone
So many voices not singing the same song
Continually I dream about these words you've just read
To the end of my days I can't think of him dead
If I were a bird, would you clip my wings
then cage me away with pretty things?
And, if my wings were to be clipped
why not just burry me within a crypt,
For a cage is too small for a master of sky,
I was meant to kiss the sun, soar, and fly.
For to have wings that cannot soar,
then why not nail me to the floor?
Tonight I shall make my final swan song
knowing I have been locked away so long.
For a cage is too small for a master of sky,
I was meant so kiss the sun, soar, and fly.
So still the caged bird, she sings
without her sky, without wings.
Sometimes laments, sometimes sighs,
sometimes she whistles her own reprise.
For a cage is too small for a master of sky
I was meant to kiss the sun, soar, and fly.
So then curious is it, the caged thing
who finds she has the heart to sing?
Because it would seem a great strain
to be caged seems twisted and profane,
for a cage is too small for a master of sky,
I was meant to kiss the sun, soar, and fly.
When asked, why do you sing, bird?
The answer is a simple word,
hope, for escape from behind these bars
that keep me caged from the stars.
For a cage is too small for a master of sky,
I was meant to kiss the sun, soar, and fly.
Birds should have no master, no kings
and love cannot be clipping wings.
But now it seems I must live confined,
in this hand crafted cage of your design,
but a cage is too small for a master of sky
I was meant to kiss the sun, soar, and fly.
So must I wait for these wings to heal
and relearn how the wind may feel.
If I must be caged, still my heart sings
of the day I can again use my wings.
He smiles in my direction as he walks in the door
And laughs at my heart, now a puddle on the floor,
The people walking by turn, point and stare,
I repeat over and over, “there’s nothing there…”
Rains of passion, waves of homicidal angst,
You can’t look backwards and still walk straight,
A million signs are screaming out at you:
Stop-danger-watch out-you’re running too
Quickly, swiftly your friends all walk away,
I’d like to say something, but it’d be so cliché,
Silently you sit and watch them go,
Hoping inside that they don’t know,
Maybe they won’t know, but everybody knows…
I think of you and I think about stars,
Captured fireflies in marmalade jars,
Beautiful reminders of what may have been,
But the fire goes out, and they lay there dead...
He says, “The poison doesn’t do it for me anymore,
I need a pain to leave me lying gasping on the floor,”
My eyes go cloudy as he looks to yesterday,
I say, “I never meant to hurt you anyways...”
It broke my heart, I almost cried
To see you hurting, so broke inside,
Twist, plunge deeper, lemon and salt it so,
Some suffer in silence, I’ve come to know,
You’d rather be alone, you asked me to go...
The colors flew around the walls,
How I got here I don’t recall,
He handed me the bottle and I didn’t think twice,
"Just get rid of the pain, whatever the price..."
I think we danced, at least we may’ve,
Silly boy, to think I’d misbehave,
He said, “I bet I can change your mind,”
Slow down, stop, (learn to) rewind,
“Hold my hand,” I pleaded, to who?
I don’t think so, that’s not something I’d do,
Stop, not there, leave me alone,
I don’t want to be touched anymore…
A glance at the reflection as I pass a mirror,
I thought I saw a smile, but it disappeared,
Spin around and around, a crystal ball,
Reality’s a mist that surrounds us all…
Light is the Most Damning of Natures Creations,
It Masks Beauty Whereas Darkness Perpetuates it.
- The Stars They Shine,
But The Night is Black -
This Space Was Destined To Be Understood By
The Ticking Minds of Sober Gentlemen.
- Not A Drunken Irish Boy -
- Ceaselessly Inspired by Its Beauty -
The Strings Cast The Vibration Through The Skin,
And the Mind Frees Itself With Anticipation
- I Have No Reason To Believe -
- That This World Was Built Upon Love -
The Foundations Beneath Us Quake and Sway, But,
We Choose To Live Above Those Rotten Fathoms.
- Ignoring The Ever Present
Corruption of Togetherness -
This Earth Spins on Its Broken Axis, Onto a Stage of
....I Wish I Was Just Visiting,
But This is My Home...
It's been a while and it seems like a lifetime
My memories of you starts to fade from time to time
It's been a while since the last time you said goodbye
But I didn't notice years are passing by
Though time runs so fast
I am still stuck in the past
It's been a while that you weren't here
I always feel that I am out of nowhere
It's been a while since you let go of me
Oh Why did you let go of me?
I keep asking this to myself
but even this question can't be answered by myself.
It's been a while since I start wondering who to blame
Such an action is lame
It's been a while since my heart breaks
But still the pain is at peak
When are you coming back?
I know you are not coming back.
I know you will never see my smile
And hear me say, "Hey! It's been a while"
By: Doris Jamoner
A Touch ,
I cannot let your feelings find me.
A beat ........
a synchronizing song,
just too perfect,
just too wrong.
a ghostly invocation
sweeps me with the
my souls decision
this great revision
of my hopes and dreams and plans
'ere I should fall...........
into Love's hands.
I'm sorry for the ways I fight,
I'm sorry that I dim your light.
I'm sorry I'm so negative,
That I am so competative.
I'm sorry that I'm so outrageous,
I'm sorry my hurt's so contagious.
I don't want to see your heart eache,
Cuz when I do my heart it breaks.
I'm sorry that I'm not so strong,
But you inspire my hearts song.
I'm not alone cuz now I see,
Your light that's shining just for me.
I'm sorry that I'm up and down,
But, Dear, You win the patience crown.
My love for you's so strong, please see,
A fire burns for you in in me.
I know that It's hard to believe,
But God will help us, just you see.
Infant mind preferred scientist the best
Whose brain worked off beat beneath a bird’s nest.
Alas! Time told that I wasn’t at all gifted by god,
So it was inconceivable to befriend sin, log and mod!
Then was the school life, amazed with pilots and aero science,
Flying free with strong wings was definitely nice!
Someone told that people with hi-eyepower were not allowed
The excuse was enough to drop the dream of being pilot-renowned.
So I participated in school dramas with a secret fervor of acting,
I was tired of seeing more and more talent; and decided of quitting.
Music then became a part of my life; I started listening to all kinds
I failed a school audition, so further working on it would be a sacrifice.
So I began to grow tired of this endless game; grew tired of being tired
And went on and on, writing this poem without fear of being fired!
Because I had learnt my lesson too early, yet failed to see I had not
There would certainly be better; hope was still to be the best shot.
The air is fresh, mornings crisp and clear
God I do love this time of year
Vibrant colors abound on the trees
Gracefully falling with the breeze
The workday runs from sun to sun
Until the "Bringing in of the crops" is done
I am a lucky man to live this life
Respect of my community and loving wife
Sometimes in life the land yields plenty
The blessings throughout the day are many
As I watch the sunrise to the east
It gives my soul a spiritual feast
For all my friends everywhere
To my Lord a silent prayer
To the north her majesty appears
For all to see beautiful and clear
Forever snowcapped and standing tall
Lady Shasta watches over all
To the south another blessing to see
The Sutter Buttes clouded in mystery
It was the Lord that gave them their birth
The shortest mountain range on earth
The coastal mountains to the west
Offers the sun a place to rest
Followed shortly for all to see
The "Harvest Moon" clear as can be
Then comes a moment that is hard
As I head my "Cat" off to the yard
My final ride of this year
My face accepts a single tear
My heart becomes full of sorrow
I inject myself with poison tomorrow
Thats the price that a junkie must pay
Years after he has changed his way
The reason is very clear to see
I put myself "At risk" to hepatitis C
I can't stop the fear from flooding in
What will it be like to hold a rig again
Through all the loss and all the gain
I reckon that moment will bring me pain
But through the pain I'm able to see
God has his angels covering me
Confusion, anger, and so much pain
Every day silent tears I cry in vain.
I want to be whole again.
I want to feel my life begin.
I feel like all is lost.
Is this anguish my cost?
Will I ever be whole?
Can anyone fix this fractured soul?
For now I will cry my silent tears.
For now I will try to squash ALL my fears.
There are way way too many.
Burdens and sorrows are a sea of plenty.
Do you see the way out for me?
No? I thought not, so I will just.....be.
Pushed aside, location of home obscured, limited by isolation:
drifting aimlessly - subscribing to a voluntary incarceration.
Outcast by an alternative perspective, a differing sense of direction,
through a desire to develop resolutions to numerable imperfections.
Others recede into bad habits - shirking from every challenge,
placing emphasis on ignoring responsibilities; yet expecting a life that’s lavish.
So it’s hardly surprising when their dreams fall by the wayside,
having taken the easy road too often, they’re fighting against a landslide
to recuperate what was lost, or rather thrown away by being lax and care-free,
they’ve imposed upon themselves a limit, as to what they can achieve.
Armed with the powerful weapon of fore-sight, I clawed myself out of the rut,
but it’s little consolation for having to watch my friends get stuck.
Trying to avoid a patronising tone, I conceal myself into anonymity -
uninspired by foolish games, approaching every overture with timidity.
Wanting to tell them to change, to realise their mistakes,
but sometimes things are hardest to see when they stare you in the face.
It’s their life to live, and do so how they wish -
I just pray they realise: there’s more to it then “getting pissed”.
As I lie in this box, all dirty and scuffed.
I remember the time I was shiny and fluffed.
Alone and forgotten, I doubt that is true?
For I was once savored in red, white and blue.
Although, it may seem like a long time ago.
I once flew through the air in many a show.
I was waved at through crowds as I proudly appeared.
So high I did blow and to many was feared.
It's just a matter of time, I'll be back once again.
I just don't like this box, and I do miss the wind.
Why must I wait until the fourth of July?
For I am important, it's my duty to fly.
Until then I will stay here, my memories in bloom.
Maybe the maid will soon free me, when she tidy's the room.
I know that she likes me, she flew me last spring.
Some kind of occasion, a Memorial thing.
This can't be my destiny, for I stand for truth.
I'm not just a toy, what's wrong with our youth?
I hear them play music of hate and it hurts.
I am use to large stadiums and enormous concerts.
How I long for the trumpet; A victorious sound.
Still I'm here when you're ready, not lost nor found.
Disappointment was never as lovely as she
Hope caught in my heart fighting delicately
She's always the dream that never fades upon waking
The cause and the comfort for all of my shaking
I like to glance over then turn carelessly
Just to see if it makes her come over to me
Her smile is infectious and wipes away fear
If it fades then I show her that I'm always near
Sometimes we are split by self-built barricades
So I break through our silence of awkward blockades
And no matter how often old times we recall
We'll forever laugh and the false walls will fall
They all think I'm crazy my truth to repress
Do anything for her and never confess
Yet silently love I continue to show her
It's enough just to feel that I'm getting to know her
But despite my devotion and adoration
There still remains space for one complication
The spark in my eyes grows colder and dim
When I am reminded she's happy with him
Surely love wants the best for the person it's for?
Not selfishly trying their joy to ignore
But however hard jealousy my heart will dent
If my darling is happy, then I am content.
Why is everyone so surprised,
To learn of the pain I have disguised?
They say that they had not a clue.
They always say"Who knew?"
They had not a single notion,
All the tears shed could fill an ocean.
They all want me to put my heart on my sleeve.
Why so again everyone can just leave?
They say my soul I should bare,
Yet they as well never share.
I am just going to be by myself.
My heart will be placed upon a shelf.
I am hurting way too much
No longer want to feel or touch.
I have made my many mistakes.
This is my life, that is the breaks.
I have many sins and many regrets,
Never shall I allow myself to forget.
All my pain and all my endless sorrow
Shall raise its head again on the morrow.
It is mine and mine alone.
I should not grumble or even moan.
One day the sun will surely shine,
And I will no longer whine.
Til then I will just silently scream
And pray this is nothing but a dream.
In my quest of life sublime
I face a mountain I must climb
There dwells up inside of me
A growing amount of hostility
My anger is growing day by day
Regardless of the prayers I pray
Like two grinding tectonic plates
One is love and the other is hate
As the plates slowly grind away
Price of hate my love must pay
Like a beautiful exotic dance
Hate is held in dark romance
Like a lone mountain flower
Love shall hold mystic power
The two sides of a single face
Only one can rule this place
Off to hell fallen angels go
Is this the fate of my soul?
Is the meaning of this rhyme?
Bound by the hands of time
For all to hear and all to see
Love and hate each dwell in me
Love and hate each have their goal
I wonder, which shall win my soul
I’m spinning in circles, I’m well out of control
While, to others, I seem to be on a roll.
My mouth is moving quicker than my brain has time,
I’m swinging under the sanity line.
The raindrops pause when I walk outside
No dampness dare, by me, reside.
Yet the sunshine refuses to show today,
So I reach up my hand and the clouds go away.
My eyes part the river, I cross with much ease
Every soul I pass, I smile, and I please.
I’m on the field, running, so fast I might fall,
But not today, no not today; Today I’m on the ball.
I’m a roadrunner, I’m a cheetah, I’m going too fast,
I can’t keep up with the speed, i don’t know what I've passed.
I jump on the playground, I play longer than I have time,
I’m swinging under the sanity line.
From an early age she yearned for something great
What it was she did not know, but she really couldn’t wait
For many interests she had, both large and small
Her love of animals and great friendships, she grew with them all
An insecure father who controlled all around
Was mitigated by mom until she was ground down
All added to the general confusion we experience early in life
But our values and strength of character help us with strife
That we continuously face over our time on this earth
Which produces some grit and grime that impedes our search
For that pinnacle of happiness, whatever it is
The finding for some is like taking a quiz
On subjects we don’t quite understand
With no guarantee to reach that promised of lands
Of joy, contentment, bliss, all words that describe
Whatever we believe is that ultimate ride
Her journey is similar to many of us
It’s good times and bad that cause a great fuss
Her strengths are vision and commitment to move towards a goal
Not letting “reality”, pain, or confusion take too great a toll
Understanding that it isn’t just reaching the end
But enjoying the journey and making sure you ascend
To that place of places we all want to be
Our true heart’s yearning, I think you’ll agree
For her specifically, that is to say for my wife
She’s given me all that I wanted in life
A great family including kids, dogs, cats, horses, and then some
And encouragement to go after a calling that was right under my thumb
She’s a great friend, and remarkably so
That I want her to have that additional glow
That comes from achieving her ultimate heart’s yearning
Making something out of nothing, using passion and life’s learning.
HORSE FROM MARS
It came from the sky, a gray silver stallion.
I looked up high, and I also had seen a dragon.
With so many things in this universe.
I'm on 24/7 alert with a camera in my purse.
Who would have known I'd be the first to spot a PEGASUS.
The town folks wave hi every time I walk my hippopotamus.
I enjoy showing everyone pictures of a flying horse.
I don't understand why they call a DOCTOR every time I call the TASK FORCE.
I think they are jealous over all the things I've seen.
Ever since I sighted a LEPRECHAUN when I turned fourteen.
No one ever believed me when I saw an army of dragonflies.
They had a name for me "the who See's too much in the skies!"
I don't know why they can't see what I see.
For all I know they don't even believe me.
If you don't believe me then explain how I got this magic MEDALLION.
It was a gift from the silver stallion.
I also have many pictures of a UNICORN.
Who gave me a piece of its magic horn.
We sat together while UNI" drank from the lake.
We enjoyed talking, --talking about how U.F.O.'s are fake.
Why can't they see? I fell off a boat and got rescued by a MERMAID!
Who would have known a mermaid swim around with first-aid.
I also remember the day I followed a LEPRECHAUNS.
We were playing under the rainbow having fun.
When I told my doctor about all the things I've seen.
He locked me in a DUNGEON, thinking I was an ALIEN QUEEN.
I begged and I told him I don't believe in any type of alien.
Too bad the master of this dungeon came from another region.
In a way he looks like that one SILVER STALLION from Mars.
The first sighting I'd seen the day I fell from the monkey bars.
I have this picture of this horse of course.
JUST help me out of this white-jacket!!! ;-)
If you want to see the coolest picture of a flying horse.
Mother & Son
Four little devils sitting in the park
Four little devils waiting for the dark
Waiting for a smoker, waiting patiently
Waiting for a sucker out looking for some weed!
First little devil sells it to a cop
Second little devil ran but he got popped
Third little devil screamed with all his might
Went into a coma then later died of fright!
Fourth little devil never blinked an eye
So the cops asked him, "Why not try to fly?"
Then the devil answered, "Me no habla Engles'"
So they gave him welfare and called it a success!
Timothy I. Brumley
“In the pocket of the seat in front of you, you’ll find:”
A cushion, stuffed with cotton balls; eight or nine,
One Crimson- tinted, two-by-four fleece cut out,
And a magazine full of things no one cares about
“For your comfort today, we provide:”
A seat, which six inches backwards, reclines,
A nine inch pixelated Toshitty TV,
And headphones that fit no ears, for only $3.50
“Thank you for choosing American Airlines,”
Enjoy your seat next to the odorous woman who rants the whole time
And you’ll see we break every stereotype.
Our attendants are fat and *****y, not skinny and nice.
“We hope you find your flight pleasant”
Sitting next to the odorous woman, who loves to rant,
Or the man who can’t fit in his 17” airplane seat,
Pouring onto the lap of the woman, whose infant screams, unwilling to share her teet.
Within his room the vestments are displayed,
Each garment hung,so perfectly arrayed.
Reverently he stands to survey his clothes,
Pulls up his pants and gently blows his nose.
In her boudoir a different scene is found,
Where dangers pearls, and fashions abound.
The mistress of the house she contemplates,
The trials and tribulations she must face.
Around the room her treasures now on view,
So many styles in vogue so much to rue.
Preppy Bombshell Classic perhaps Boho,
So much to choose,so much she doesn't know.
She makes a start her labours now begin,
Success or fail the line is paper thin.
The endless hours of shopping she's endured,
Those sacrifices to fashion, and haute couture.
At last she picks, after hours and hours of stress,
The body hugging bombshell will be the dress.
A look so daring, as to confound,
The best dressed woman, she must be crowned.
As she attires herself she smugly smiles,
Tonight will be a victory for her wiles.
Her muse is careful no word of his is heard,
That might offend his dame or be inferred.
The dress she wears is slightly undersized,
In a body so bountiful perhaps unwise.
Beside the village walls a hotel stands,
Once the village inn it looks so grand.
Wherein the great and good have gathered round,
Discussing serious matters like horse and hounds.
Our dame, comes in late to show her wares,
To consternation gasps and outright stares.
Her dress is nearly bursting at the seams,
Oblivious to it all,is her,it seems.
Collapsing seams it's stitches must resist,
Each intake of breath or they will desist.
But fatigued by constant shock they implode,
The bombshell dress now finally explodes.
Structural collapse has started to begin
Stitches popping, each ping against the skin
Seams, violently being ripped apart
Each tear another dagger to her heart
The dress itself has now become a frock
The blast has transformed it into a smock
Her body shape and size now unrestrained
Occupies the new found spaces it has attained
Carefully driving home, her muse says naught,
Believing that a spoken word will out,
The anger of his dame now in disgrace,
And the bombshell that blew up in her face.
When I read your words they hurt a lot
Some men are men some others are not
Perhaps sex appeal he doesn't lack
With his power women take him back
He's a women hater of the worst kind
He lives to play his games with womens minds
Telling you somehow you are not enough
Through his dark lies you re-live some bad stuff
Yet in the end you come to realize
This bad boy is a devil in disguise
When you reject him he falls to his knees
You see the real him he is a disease
He never deserved you just walk away
For in the end you have the final say
Inspired by Becca's poem "No longer will she agonize"
I sweat the smell of acquisicion
expensive perfume, leather and derision.
Designer clothes, and with precision,
a cat walk pose, a lovely vision.
An envied icon - take a piece.....
I walk the razor's edge, I tread a greasy place
….. drugged out senseless,
my only peace.
Itty Bitty Contest.
Still angry from revolutions long past
Greed wondered how long it would last
The occupy people have been asleep
Their eyes closed not making a peep
Now awaken they look at privation
Asking what's happen to their nation
Progress was not suppose to add more
For all of those who are money's whore
The plan was suppose to provide enough
For those struggling in life finding it tough
Wondering if it's too late to escape their fate
Revolution or Armageddon may be on the plate
Now for occupy to really develop and grow
They will need to find new ways not to owe
Edward J Ebbs - 11/06/11
I was wandering barefoot in the snow
What a journey I had to sow
I knew this wasn’t something I would normal indulge in
A strange kind of winter walk without a coat in the wind
But I continued my lonely trudging anyway
The skies where a dire dark gray
Somehow although it felt cold it didn’t feel wet or unbearable
Perhaps this was the end? Some kind of parable
I was somewhere I didn’t want to roam
My mission was clearly to find my way home
Every passageway I strove to push through came up empty
This was not the happy land of plenty
Why couldn’t I find the end?
Was there some impending trickery around the bend?
I felt a strong frustration descend over me
I saw the strange face of an unknown banshee
Screams and tears plumed out of loss and shame
I was repeatedly calling out my husband’s name
Distorted, destroyed no one spoke
Thank God it ended I woke
Inspired by the “I dreamed contest”
I ponder a purpose from above
I really could use some of his love
Searching from deep within
I wonder how things will end
If I could shed a single ray of light
This would bring me smiles of delight
If a smile to a child I could bring
My heart would feel fresh as spring
Coming to the aid of one in need
This is how my heart seems to feed
Wiping a tear from a soulful heart
Helps keep me from falling apart
If my life has not been in vain
Why then do I suffer this pain
I am still lost on this planet we call earth
Why have I been this way since birth
Edward J. Ebbs - Spring 2006
Copyright © 2013
Skittles and a soda
against a gun in its holster?
One day that scream
will be known as a teen
not a heinous lying Fein
What a sinister ploy and twist
with a loaded gun and no fist?
Had everyone sitting and waiting
doomed by a verdict just delaying
Was this just an optical illusion
or, a devious planned conclusion?
Now, this generation too afraid
wearing hoodies will get you dead
But, the Klan was still glad
hoodies they've always had
A verdict they too saw,
ushering in martial law
Who am I?
Am I defined by what is near in sight?
Am I defined by what I have done,
Or am I defined by what I could become?
Perhaps I'm of no use.
To him, or her, or I, nor you.
Or perhaps I'm too misunderstood to be defined,
And it is something like understanding that comes in time.
And if to the world I'm never shown,
Yet in my own light I've grown and grown,
And so I can know no happiness but my own--
The reason for my smile, to you, will forever be unknown.
I do not pray for the world to know my name.
For it and verse; the letters are the same.
And if a man should find his sorrow in what he reads,
I pray his pain my words to keep.
Should his eyes rain on my page,
Better tears than storms of rage.
And if a man should find his sorrow in what he reads.
I pray his pain my words to keep.
And if to the world you're never shown,
Yet in your own light you've grown and grown,
And so you know no happiness but your own.
Let the reason for your smile, to you, only be known.
Has this ever been a choice you had to make
Considering life or death ~ deciding anothers fate
Who has the right to judge if and when one procreates
Should politicians or priests decide what’s at stake
What about the child who’s raped ~ does she have a say
Which choice is right ~ keep the child ~ give him away
A mother carrying a child with an abnormality ~ what’s right
To watch her child suffer ~ witness his fatality ~ what a sight
Is it fair to say if you decide to abort ~ you don’t care
I don’t claim to have an answer here ~ but say this I wouldn’t dare
I wouldn’t dare ~ it’s not fair ~ I wouldn’t dare
This choice is the most difficult for anyone to bare
Abstrusely they spoke about things unknown.
They figured she understood because she responded within knowledge given by the Lord.
Never could she state what was meant.
She countered innately.
She rejoined her past.
Her findings were that someone, other than herself, revamped yesterday.
How does history repeat?
Atrocious is this cruelty.
What went before is not to be.
However, a reality has formed from yesteryear.
The future is a seed, which has matured profusely.
Seething a lost is she who faces a breach in her memory.
Neurological resources are their tool.
The mind willingly enters this superlative institute.
Reconsider what has been done because tomorrow has come.
Reflect to divert to revitalize a city’s self-worth.
Penned on September 06, 2014!
I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…
Your eyes look at me again,
I feel myself turn mannequin.
I know the fate that awaits
as you tempt the three fates.
You words are masterfully designed
in a trap, and I am so inclined
to see there is no escaping you
no matter what I try, I’m one for two.
Forced to watch my heart decay
in the glass box you have on display.
That taste of forgiveness is poison on my lips.
From your rancid mouth I take the liar’s kiss.
Why do you keep coming back to me
if you never do plan to stay, simply?
I can’t always pretend to be all you need
for just like you, I know that I can bleed.
Your eyes again they look at me
but it was never me that you did see.
Again a small poem guys dedicated to my Darling hubby..
wrote by Mrs.Madhavi Suyog Pagare
Loving You is Blissful - My Darling Hubby
Twilighting glow of the sky..
Wanna fly so high..
Sparkling amidst the million stars..
chosen the crazy pal and so life is excellently par..
As like the blossom were kissed by soft rain..
Your arrival in life diminished all my pains..
God has entwined me..with my emarald diamonite gem..
Enlightening new vistas in life as like your next aim..
At an astounding pace time flew..
But When i didn‘t see you..I feel like..Life is been dew..
Your divine presence in life rejuvenates me..
Every tick of my heartbeat resonating wit your‘s or whatever it will be..
Your innumerable naughtiness made me silly..
But yep, your beautifying nature had an fragrance in life like lilly..
As like snow crested the nestled mountains..
You cuddled my persona..like a sip of fountains..
Being With you, Life is euphorically elated..
Full of high spirit and delighted..
Thanks for being accompanying me my theist..
Your admirer with lots n lots of Love:
Busy square around me sucking me inside
Keeping me from seeing what's on the outside
Building shell surrounds me squared off like a hide
Standing on a corner; a square; a block; that's wide
Quilted district patterns are mapped across the land
while larger squares protruding shows zoning had a hand
Suburbs of the city squaring boundaries they have spanned
When all that's left are gullies squared by nature that are fanned.
The first damn bullet shot at me in anger
by some frigging commie with an itchy trigger finger.
I heard it zip by very close to my head.
I was glad I was still alive instead of dead.
All those months of training kicked in,
I hit the ground a shootin’ and a cussin’.
Then I was on my stomach and off my feet,
I was surprised that I could hear my own heart beat.
A few more scattered shots here and there,
a couple too close to my head and hair.
As quickly as it started it came to an end,
I was relieved I survived to fight again.
Fear is adrenaline gone wild.
In battle there is no meek or mild.
What would we do without technology?
I think we would all fall into lethargy.
I am upset because the computer is down
It's got me running all over town.
Trying to get a new modem is rough
When the provider gives you nothing but guff.
So you say to yourself "Myself I say...
Go get your writing fix in some other way!"
So over to the local library I trot
Where I can hit a keyboard and keep it hot.
Yet, I dread to go home to that box I have there
Because all I can do is sit and stare.
I could pick up a pen 'n paper I suppose
To try and write some witty prose.
But that makes my hands ache these days
Since I learned the keyboard and its simpler ways.
So I am just writing this ditty about technology lost
Because when it's down...my keaster gets frost.
And if any of you have been looking for me
My e-mails won't open so I just can't see.
Here in the library you can't speak very loud
Not the way to handle a furrowed brow.
Because I can't speak, hear, see, or write
I guess I'll just go home and call it a night.
Hey! What if a computer were a car?
So much more economical, by far!
You see at once advantages galore
With all that high-tech wizardry in store.
A virtual computer set on wheels.....
This surely is the very best of deals!
You rush to buy one of these "guided missiles",
Your automotive "Dell" with bells and whistles.
.................Fast forward now to one month down the road.
Your frenzied brain is ready to explode!
You found your car would crash three times a week!
You had to pay some sly computer geek
To get the blasted engine up and running.
(His service bills were nothing less than stunning.)
You learned that turning on the windshield wiper
Would mean you really had to "pay the piper"!
By sensing you clicked on that wiper part,
Your car would shut down and would not restart!
Your airbag system's totally annoying;
It asks you "Are your sure?" before deploying.
Your precious car insists, as it to scoff,
You must press "start" to turn the darn thing off!
Just when these gimmicks you begin to doubt,
Your car without a reason locks you out!
"Access denied!" until by luck you pressed
At once the grille and hood. (Who would have guessed?)
You feel betrayed by this hybrid computer?
You should have bought a plain old two-wheeled scooter!
And now I've lost my papers,
My passport and my wife,
The very essence of
My identity and life.
My bank account is empty,
My cloths and garments sold,
My skin and bones are ashes,
Spread thin on the open road.
My old car's broken down,
No wheels to touch the floor,
The motor been dismantled,
Stripped clean down to the core.
The bailiffs and the policemen,
Have emptied my abode,
The promises I made you,
Have been auctioned out and sold.
The love I hold within me,
Is all that I now have left,
The rest is bleak illusion,
The bind man and the deaf.
The imaginary people ,
I thought were my friends,
Have left the scene forever,
As the road of life does bend.
And now I stand alone,
Upon this lonely hill,
I gaze upon the meanings,
The years have silently killed.
In the roaring storms of thunder,
In the lightning in the night,
In the whispering of the children,
In the white doves lonely flight.
In the dust of many ages,
That has settled on my soul,
In the ashes of my humanity,
That has filled my begging bowl.
The ancient breeze is blowing,
Calling me to my knees,
To behold the light within me,
In the prison of the keys.
more at http://labyrinthoflies.com
I can’t believe your dead, its still unreal it seams
I wake with scattered thoughts; it seams your still with me
I saw a broken window, on a car I used to drive.
Windshield now scarred red, with remnants of your life
A tattered scar is torn, asphalt painted tire
A soul is left to morn, the same to build a pyre
Imbibe you once did do, two hours before the deed
Crimson now paints red the ashes of your seed
Two men came to me an hour before I woke,
With uniform aplenty I knew before they spoke.
That she would not come home, of her own volition
The duality of two things that found “their”ignition
Something told her not, to read between the lines
And it didn’t really matter just how many times.
She passed undaunted through the kismet of her life
only to find the end a double sided knife
though this she loved more than me
I will never lay blame from this to thee
And seeing thee in shame and sorrow
I know without doubt that on the morrow
When “Time” has come to ask his penance,
And “Past” will stand to give his senteence.
When “War” will sit, and kneel at his blade
And “Destiny” throws his book to the glade
When “Despair” can at last stop and swollow
A “Dream” of one that has been borrowed
From “Delerium” of those unknown of sorrow
Then “Death” will finally have to follow
The “Son” of one that has been hallowed.
The truth was never pretty
But we all act smart and witty
Sugar coat everything with lies
Bringing forth our own demise
But we do it cause we can
Thinking its the perfect plan
It actually works or so it seems
We never admit living in dreams
Its the ultimate fact, always true
Look around, at me and you
We act happy when we're sad
Us people, we are so bad
Sadly, we think we're so good
Never wrong, never should
Sometimes you got to agree
A darkness in us, we never see
It comes out every now and then
Don't know how, don't know when
That fact everyone did realize
Their system, it did compromise
They try so hard to stay in the dark
Shut out every little spark
But deep inside I see a light
Very dim, barely in sight
Everyone's little confession booth
Accepting the ugly truth
A little bit confused was beautiful Spring,
She had to choose for life a bridegroom.
Who will give her a wedding ring?
Three men wanted to be her happy and bloom.
March, April and May vied with each other.
About their great love they quietly talked.
April was for Spring like a brother,
With March she just often liked to walk.
Timid March gave her beautiful primroses,
Out of snowdrops he made a wreath,
He didn’t want to know any losses,
He promised her the whole world’s wealth.
Delicate and sweet was April.
He gave her a necklace of brilliant drops.
The life with him could be stable, - he said,
She’d be rich and would get good crops.
A wonderful May pleaded Spring:
You are my love! Take my wedding ring!
Be quick, Spring! Be my wife!
We’d be happy together the whole life.
And Spring trusted the handsome May.
Without any delay she sewed the white dress,
For the veil she took the apples blossoms.
That was her best and the happiest day.
The whole world was whirling in the dance.
May was getting married with Spring!
The Earth was full of love and romance,
Happiness to all this marriage would bring.
©Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)
To sit in the confines of knowledge
At a desk the colour of porridge
An air of unescapable heat
At a desk the colour of wheat
The lure of the Mail Online
At a desk the colour of brine
Looking at Jamie Kirby's broken leg
At a desk the colour of regret
2b or not 2b 1432
Overcome by events .........I need some tender loving care
I know I messed up beyond all repair
I opened my mouth, inserted my keyboard
You are too wise for me...... praise the Lord!
In your opinion......what about you?
To be or not to be...........I love you too
I needed a way to release from inside,
All of the tears that I never cried,
My head was exploding from all I kept in,
While onto my face I glued a fake grin;
I hid inside my suspicion and fears,
And locked them away for many years;
They built up a wall and trapped me within,
Until I didn’t even know where to begin;
I had every emotion locked in my heart,
So I started to write, I made it my art.
Why is it so that you have to fight ?
when you know you're all brothers and this aint right...
Why is it so that you have to be greedy?
when you have enough, more than the poor and needy...
Why is it so that you have to be jealous?
when you know its not right and may even hell us...
Why is it so that you are not thankful to the ALMIGHT?
when you see others dying...how can you bear such a sight?
Why is it so that you have become blind
with fame and pride just in your mind?
But the time will come when you all will see
and regret and weep and then no one will be
forgiven and will be sent to an unimaginable place no man has seen
and there they'll be punished and wont even have their family there to lean.......
Many lives were sacrificed throughout the years in war.
Although it's very tragic, we've always known what for!
They put their lives in danger, to keep our country free.
A necessary evil, we understand, just had to be.
Afghanistan's another story, the lives we've lost is so unfair.
'cause it's hard for us to justify, exactly why the hell we're there!
Six Lines of Poetry, Please
You're the air that I breathe
The calm to my seethe
You're the love that I hate
The one perfect mate
You're the way that I move
I walk in your groove
You're the pill that I take
With all that's at stake
You're the love of my life
Though you fill me with strife
You're the cloud in my rain
Confusing my brain
You're the hue in my clothes
So that everyone knows
You're the hunch in my back
It keeps me on track
You're the word on my lips
The sway of my hips
You're the way that I live
Though it's hard to forgive
You'll be the way I go
For I love you so
I've got this thorn and it stuck to my brain.
Doctors called it a tumor because it was one heck of a pain.
Though it made me laugh and formed tears in my eye,
but doctors said it was time to kiss it goodbye.
Yesterday, the thorn was pulled out.
It didn't hurt much, all said was an "ouch".
But now there's a hole in my brain - and it hurts
even though the doc. said he had scrape off all the dirt.
I want the thorn back in my head...
it stopped the blood from leaking when I lay down my bed;
it filled in the empty gap and made me more firm.
I want it, I need it. This feeling...what is the term?
A summer night in an autumn's room
My fingers shaking, my heart's constant boom
My eyes are closed but i'm not asleep
The fan on high is the only faint squeak
Repetition makes a fool out of me
(Change the game to live happily)
Prayer offered fervently upon shaking knees
The shadows descend from outside trees
Hypocrisy, shame: the names of my game
My misery, my reality needs no such fame
Repitition makes a fool out of me
(I'm changing the game, so I can see)
When I feel that someone is there
In my heart grows a dreadfull scare
People say that they are your friend
Some even say, they're there till the end
But how is that so, when they do not see
Who i am, what makes me really me
To me they talk, a day if I am lucky
But all it gives me, feelings are lurky
Can there be someone who will never leave?
Is this something my soul can really believe?
If there is, it's not for me
Alone forever, I yet will be
So the next time that you see my face
We might be dead, in another place
So i'll take these seconds and hold them dear
To lose these memories is my biggest fear
I may look tough, strong on the outside
But I can be soft, loving on the inside
For me and you, let time pursue
Since if we wait, our love is true
If I hadn't been abandoned I wonder where I would be
If you had a second chance this time would you love me?
Every time I face a mirror I wonder do I look like my dad
If you could do it all over again would this time you be so mad?
When I see a pretty flower which I admit is now incredibly rare
I instinctively turn around and think, Mom why aren't you there?
I recall the day you left me here in many ways like its yesterday
A little boy with hopes and dreams had his innocence burned away
Slowly this reality came to me the full purpose of your sad intent
And as the years have past away my environment has left me bent
I've been in this place so long I can't truly remember your face
But the agony of you rejecting me I simply can never ever erase
I'm feed, clothed, and sheltered but that doesn't satisfy all the lies
Oh, the greatest torment in this place is having no answers to my whys
Tomorrow is my age out day hard to believe I'll finally be fourteen
They'll take me to the iron gate say goodbye, wipe their hands clean
Pushed out into the city streets without a clue of where to go
I can't imagine how I'll survive there's so many things I just don't know
I wish my world would stop revolving and my soul would spin down to die
The last stars of hope have burned away, I want to go... but I just can't fly!
Sponsor: Seren Roberts
Contest Name: "IF" as sung by Bread - write me a masterpiece
It Seeps From Under The Sediment of Pre-Existing
Quarrels, Tapping The Bone in Search of Reason.
- He Bites Hard Into His Fingers -
- Warm Copper -
His Dreams Gave a Glimpse of Reality, Told Him
To Focus on Nothing But Learn From Everything.
- Give Way To The Waves -
- They'll Take You From Here -
He Lay on His Back In The Water, Staring At
Moonlit Clouds, Paving His Mind With Philosophies.
- Humans Are Creatures of Habit -
-That's Why We're All Miserable -
Sacrificing Pleasure and Indulgence For Familiarity,
And Comfort. We're All Creators of Ruin.
- Building and Weaving Worlds -
- Of Vague Insignificance -
Sleepless nights and haunted dreams,
Nothing is ever as it seems;
Dead of night, I’m wide awake,
Listening to each breath I take;
A cricket chirps just outside,
As I lay in bed, eyes open wide;
A lonely coyote cries in the dark,
A dog answers back a mournful bark;
And here I lay, fighting for sleep,
Hell I even tried the counting of sheep;
And as the darkness presses all around,
The night time stills, there’s not a sound;
I bolt upright as I struggle for air,
And something moves in the black, over there;
My heart is pounding out of my chest,
As I strain to see my unwelcome guest;
And from out of no where, I jerk awake,
Flip on the light, it was all a mistake;
The terror I felt was just a nightmare;
I look all around and no one is there;
So I lay back down and turn off the light,
And try to sleep for the rest of the night.
**He climbs so high above the sky I'm afraid he can't come down
**And yet, why should he descend at all if he is likely to wear a frown?
Idiosyncratic to the human condition
Tried and varied, so goes my volition
I can't help but think what's out there for us all?
Yet we stumble over issues that are so trivial, so small
The long term goals of our race seem obsolete
Compared to the wants and needs of our so called "elite"
Sure one man makes billions and creates an empire
What does that mean to the rest of us? Why doesn't it ignite a fire?
Step aside, Mr. Gore, as the world's people rebel
Despite your predictions, Earth is not as hot as hell
We took your global warnings seriously at first
But for your dire forecasts, we no longer thirst
UN scientists who'd backed up your warnings
Now say there's no evidence the planet is warming
Instead, a mini ice age raps on a frosty door
A whiteout winter lingers; snow still covers Earth's floor
Was it all a ruse to propel yourself to the spotlight?
As the blizzards wreak havoc, you've fallen from our sight
And worse, we are left to wonder why you paid no heed
To historical cycles that made your theories weak
Prehistoric species fell during a period of heat
And proof of past ice ages are preserved in Mammouth meat
So please do us a favor and stay, as now, in hiding
Your doom and gloom prophecies we are now deriding
With each shovel of unprecedented winter snow
Angry Americans shake their heads and want to know
If it was the speaking engagements and book sales
That led you to express your global warming wails
Or did corporate backers of your "green energy" business
Lead you to attempt to spoon feed us utter nonsense
Pollution is of great concern to all with conscience
But attributing climate cycles to it simply made no sense
The UN scientists now say they've lost all supporting data
Belief in "global warming" has been tossed back at ya
It attacked my life like a swarm of predatory wasps
Anger, regret, pain, confusion, to ruin me at all costs
unprovoked, vicious stings to my soul, many a tear
made me hollow inside, without joy, living in fear
Unable to run or hide for their venom is already within
To snipe at my belief, questions to drive reflection of sin
Should I seek reasons, or find solace needed in a friend
My friends helped win battles, and the war inside did end
On my knees in my bedroom, surrounded by
Emotions too strong, no wonder I cry
We had only just met, a few months ago
I gave unto he, as he internally showed
Week by week, my heart captured by he
We even carved our names, in the park on a tree
He told me he loved me, so captured I was
I gave unto he, as he externally pawed
Naive, but so young, my life went with the flow
My heart in know, in excitement pump I'd grow
I'm fourteen years old, I'm not really me
But inside I carry his child, who one day will be free
Is my facade fading away?
Is it wearing off?
Am I giving myself away?
Is my mask running off?
Has my plastered smile been seen through?
Has my pain shone through the chinks?
I wonder---What did I do wrong?
Is my facade gone?
surprised a dream can tic you off
and make you change your mind
when once my soul was once aloft
frozen in a wierd sence of time
adamant was my resolve
to always love and stay
my words and conversation
my testament and concentration
all betrayed this very day
in a dream that i still question
why would God send a dream
that would hurt my love so hard
i know the answer and i admit it i had did it
and now i get it, why question God
(My last poem about April)
If I paint the grass bright blue
The clouds will not know what to do.
They'll mill about upon the ground
Thinking trees are upsidedown.
We pray for the loved ones lost
and the ones left to live on.
We remember when we were young
and try to remember the songs that we sung.
Life goes by so very fast,
sometimes you forget what you did in the past.
We remember what was exciting and what we thought was cool,
but a year ago today can you remember why you were blue?
Don't linger on what you lost but what you have found,
sometimes you got to step up, sometimes you got to step down.
That's just the way life goes,
There are things in life you will never know.
That's how the game is played.
Trying so hard to not let the memories fade.
You can choose to lose.
Or choose to win, in the end its up to you.
Don't linger on what you lost, but what you have found.
Sometimes you got to step up, sometimes you got to step down.
That's just how life goes.
There are things in life you will never know.
I have found myself in a
This situation has me in a great
I find myself walking to a
What way will have a place
for a sinners load
If I take one path, make one
I may lose power, volume
inside my voice
What do I do, oh what do I do
Which path ahead, only is true
Uncertainty whirling inside my
I have walked the path and
God, I have plead
Hear my soul manifesting from
Help me to find my only worthy
So I can find love, that is sent
Any other love, not sent from
Will bring me down and lead
Who can I look to in this all so
I know I am not practiced
bowing on my knee
Having this feeling of faith
inside my plea
But hear me God if just for this once
Fill my heart with your loving guidance
Poisoned apple dangling
before mine eyes
Are you the royal feast
before one dies?
Is there a hangman gladly
And crowds to bid another
Can I just take a little baby
To quench this thirst about
to douse my light?
Do you expect in hunger I
This meal of death
disguised as paradise?
Should I postpone the day
my loved ones cry
And live in woe or do I say
When my son was young and so very, very wild…
I loved him dearly for he was my child.
But I feared the drugs, alcohol, and friends he did keep.
I knew they would destroy him, as I found my Eyes do weep.
We found a private High school with new peers to seek.
Miraculously, He found his own way back, and to college he did leap.
He chose a college and fraternity far away, as my eyes blurred again.
But the day he was on his own, became the best that’s ever been.
His fraternity became his brothers, and advice they dished out.
Study time became important, with gentlemanly behavior devout.
I’ll thank them each, in the leadership and help they all showed.
I’ll thank my son for growing up, and for becoming who we now know.
Community service brought blood drives, and teaching inner city kids.
They worked on their fraternity house, reclaiming it from the skids.
All parties had designated drivers to take every body home, all right.
They gathered clothes for the homeless to brighten up their life.
They built Homes For Humanity for to work he was never adverse.
Then, to add to the rest, he continued to work to become a nurse.
He put himself through college working in a hospital and ambulance.
He had learned a reverence for life, happiness, and yes, even patience.
My wild, wild son has found purpose in life and peace at long last.
And again my eyes do weep… This time with love so vast...
Lost again with nowhere to turn
All my hopes and wishes now burn
I've done your thing and in the end
I'm left here lonely, with not a friend
I'm done with living life your way
For I can't hold this heavy pay
I'm doing things on my own time
And not afraid to bust a rhyme
Here I come now sound the drums
Feeling great now here it comes
I'm going far, the limits the sky
Come with me babe and fly so high
Lets go somewhere and not be found
Other people won't yet make a sound
They have no grasp on what we do
Make our home they have no clue
We are done with living their way
Now we don't care what they say
Let's do things on our own time
Sing our love with all loves rhyme
Father had no choice the court order was clear,
we were taken to that dark place of fear.
They took our nice clothes and gave us rags,
like children of the street dressed in shags.
Abused and beaten cries in the night,
we always waited for first light.
Not much food to eat each day,
you learn how to keep the pain away.
Separated for months we were apart,
this almost broke my heart.
My brother all I had of family,
now was gone as I sat absently.
On a summer's day he was returned,
I was overjoyed but my heart still burned
Our Father returned a week after that day,
he told us freedom would soon come our way.
Innocent victims we did see that day,
silently we were lead away.
As the doors opened the sun shined bright,
we took that step into the light.
I tiptoe through the darkness as silent as the night,
My ears attuned to any sound, there’s not a soul in sight;
Goosebumps prickle across my skin as panic washes over me,
I hear the slightest noise ahead and I strain my eyes to see;
My uneasy breathing fogs the air as my heart pounds on in dread,
I stand in the black frozen in fear, my feet have turned to lead;
I shiver uncontrollably as I wait in the dark alone,
Terror grips my heart as I prepare to face the unknown;
I’m poised on the balls of my feet ready to bolt into the night,
Then as I’m getting ready to make a dash, my hubby flips on a light!
I remember to way I felt for him that spring,
For him, I think I would have done anything;
Memories flood my being as I reminisce,
And think of all the things about him that I miss;
He told me that someday we would run away,
He lied, but I find myself still waiting for that day;
I loved the way he held me as we kissed,
Unwanted feelings boil to the surface and are dismissed;
And although I know we don’t belong,
I find my self hanging on and hoping that I’m wrong;
So many years have passed since that time;
I really thought that he was mine...
As I sit here, on a rectangular cake
Drawn and tied from Earth's oil, not fake
I wonder how to, in deuce, enunciate
of the state, wherein, I participate
Past tense, was I; island dwelling to hide
The thing that tied; and bound the path to dive
Terrific honey, which sleep required
Flowed wild with purpose; and never lied
Stuck to the ground; with entertainment quite boring
A guitar hero accomplished; nihilism recurring
With goods hands, in a happy place
The scenery dull, time for a break
On they came, or I to them
For me, really? Hesitation
They asked questions, quite leading, and when it was done
A train ride, to happy town, check in and tune down
The halls were quite clean, and the watchers quite ordered
The meals were on time, distracting and forward
Powders prescribed to keep time flowing even
Day and night cycle; Swiss bread repeating
As I arrived to despise the box I was in
The windows and doors that shuttered absent sin
And stuck as I was; with the ties to comply
My reply was a nod with a wink; and pity implied
Good fortune was kind to supply and find time
To use you and your keys to fly; surprise
The gears they did grind and mill for the bread
The water was lifted and carried far ahead
The story is now short, the sun breaks with news
Get out of bed, hair mend, speed spin, with trues
Why can you not see?
Why can't you see what's wrong with me?
I am down on my knees.
I am begging you please.
How can this be?
Please set me free...
Early one morning my Hubby was sleepily shuffling around and about.
Dawn was almost breaking and we were becoming late no doubt.
Toiletries were a waiting, as he shuffled near the morning throne.
Opening the lid, you’ll never guess what exited as a rocket blown.
EEEWWW …Poor little thing… Oh Who, you will never guess…
Out popped a little tree frog jumping at mach 2 in his quest…
Yes, he was wet and doing his very best as he stuck to the vanity.
For who can say how long he’d been trapped in there, you see?
It puzzled me to wonder… How he’d got to the second floor?
Poor little guy… I doubt he could have withstood very much more.
Now here we were to scare him… Yes, another time, I confide…
We had to get him past 3 dogs awaiting for food and to go outside.
It wouldn’t have been so bad if 3 squirrels weren’t watching from the tree.
None might have been so eager, if they’d known he came from our potty.
My jammied hubby ran for the mulch pile where sticks and leaves abound…
As I entertained the squirrels and doggies with tempting morsels all around.
Now I can’t say it was traumatic to save a little wayward froggy…
But I won’t be opening that lid without a light, especially, if I am groggy.
And I’ll move back out of range as I lift the lid… I thank you all the same.
And next time I won’t forget to clean the toilet in a timely way, to my shame.
And I won’t ask my hubby to wash his hands 10 times daily… come next May.
Now I know you may not believe me… but I'll take an oath on this… I say.
The night was frigid and at its poorest,
But who am I to judge, when I was not the wisest,
A slight breeze crawled up my spine,
I could taste the wind’s saltiest brine.
My eyes conveyed to an old lodge,
So I can refuge, from this monstrous botch.
The place was dim, obnoxious and dingy,
But thank god there is no hole for the breeze to carry.
But what was interesting, that there was a mural,
It was so boundless, that it gave an unsettling moral.
The colors were faded, and burdened with marks,
Like it was meant to be destroyed, no needed remarks.
It displayed pictures of a young woman and maid,
I wonder who was the artisan that made this eerie portrait.
The face of the woman was covered with graze,
But the maid was gnarly and gave deep piercing evil gaze.
For a moment I thought, I had gone mad,
When I thought the maid turned from wicked to sad.
I blinked my visions, to trust my perception,
I opened my eyes, to found the maid was not in front of the reception.
My face was pale, my hairs were struck,
I pounced up when I heard the lightning struck.
I thought to myself I was delirious,
Maybe the maid was not actually there, no need to conclude something mysterious.
I waited a duration until the weather calmed down,
But the French maid entity made my brain vigorously mount.
The brews were gone, I got ready to abandon,
When I looked at the painting before, to eased my tension.
My limbs were trembling , as I took a deep stare,
First the maid, now the scrawny woman wasn’t there.
I backed to leave when voices disturbed me,
saying “You’re going nowhere, this is the place you’ll ever be.”
I rushed towards the exit when I still had my sane,
Till I dropped down realized my legs were shackled with chains.
I got up apprehended that my costume is now white,
And my hands were completely immovable as it was actually shut tight.
The lodge was dying into an atrocious looking room,
I was squirming on the floor, demanding release from this horrible doom.
Until I notice on top of the iron door,
A header flaunting; “the mental institution of schizophrenia & more”.
My love for you has been in vain-
Now I wear this heaven-made chain-
But unto me, give half the blame-
No more then, to hide my shame-
Lost myself one so great-
My heart now ruled by hands of fate-
Now less chance to find another-
Why then should I care to bother?
©2012 C. Brent Cloyd
Romney claims he is most electable
Results conclude that is debatable.
Bachman stood firm on defense and health care law
Discovered her support was filled with straw.
Santorum touched palms, wore out shoes and truck
Had clear narrative, timing and good luck.
Perry soared, forgot, “oops,” and millions spent
Said thanks, boarded plane, back to Texas went.
Paul hates the Fed and loves the constitution
Deplores war, and young folks like his solution.
Gingrich defied odds, then truth made him sag
He moves on with hope, yet carries his bags.
A crumb fell away from her
and landed on the floor.
When she stooped to pick it up,
it was followed by many more.
Should I raise my hope and pray more,
now that I’d lost almost everything to the shore?
As I paddled my feet in the endless sea,
I asked for mercy but could He hear me?
And when I found myself drowning down,
would He ignore me with a frown?
To the alley of death I sunk down whole
would He care and save this sinful soul?
Within this hand, held a knife –
that ever wondered where came the life.
Déjà vu settled on the faded scar –
that asked me how I made it this far…
Though finally ended up at the start,
dripped blood that parted the church from heart,
that tore the spirit from heaven, left burning hell
I asked for mercy, He just didn’t hear well…
Wherever I go through out my whole life,
I end up struggling with lots of strife.
Thinking that my life is a total waste,
Wanting it to be over in a haste.
I can feel the pain inside my own heart,
Like someone through at my a deadly dart.
The wound is easing deeper and deeper,
Will the pain ever stop getting bigger?
Feeling emo is never a good thing,
Cutting your arm makes a really bad sting.
Blood is dripping from my arms and my heart,
Failing to dodge the largest deadly dart.
Drowning in all the lies and self pity,
I live each day but always feel sh*tty.
I have lots of thoughts about suicide,
But then I think about those who have died.
Those who have died not just from suicide,
But also those who are really nice guys.
...This "poem" was actually suppose to be a couplet (on any thing you want) for my english
class but i made this kind bcuz i was feeling emo that day...and also after i was done i read it
over and it almost sound like a rap song which, i guess, is kinda funny and cool.........
Thru all the things that could be, and all the things that have been,
You, my son, have led your life… as if living it were a sin.
You’ve danced in all the confusion, the fallout, and the rain…
As we did try to join with you, to direct you to a life you could obtain.
Life is not an endless party, where the music will simply never stop,
And we can’t forever continue to be your ultimate, supportive, backstop.
The merry go round that’s circling will have to eventually stop and let you off.
And I know the world, for you, will be… at its best… immensely very tough.
So forget about the parties and set some long-term goals you can hold to…
Or when you’re old and all alone, no one will want anything to do with you.
They will have their families, their vacations, retirements, and their friends…
And if you don’t stop playing… you’ll have nothing in the end.
Here I am, So stuck in my heart
I tried to leave but you won't let me out
And I've tried even harder to strive for more
Without your hope, I don't know what I'm fighting for
Because you give me all your love and then you take some away
I'm losing more every single day
So tell me what to do
When I feel like I can't live without you
Like there's no one else, because that would be the biggest mistake
To go my whole life not knowing you, No matter how long that could take
But I don't want to think like that, I know right where you're supposed to be
Right here in my heart, You'll forever be a part of me
What is behind that smile?
Would she walk with me a while?
As her brown eyes dance
I’m mesmerized, entranced
She stares. What does she know?
What gives her cheeks that vibrant glow?
Should I ask, perhaps approach?
Nay, I fear a coy reproach
Content I must be to admire and pass
But Mona Lisa’s smile fills my heart of glass
For Nathan's perspectives from "The Opposite Sex" challenge
What is this curse when you're ignored
in time you care?
What kind of tempest that might be too much
for a man to bear?
What is the reason; and what is the logic
that one gets hurt?
When he's just showing his true affection
to the one he loves.
When he's expressive that she is cherished
and so adored,
She's not responsive and so implying
that she is bored.
Then he would message to greet her mornings
and to wish her well
She would not answer for a usual reason
that she left her cell.
Would it be too much for her to text back
that she is fine?
Is she afraid that it would surely cost her
Doesn't she know that she's just too lucky
for being loved?
Most girls are crying and are still hoping
for a sincere lad.
What if he's fed-up? the insult is too much
that he departs?
Boy, what a pity if you cannot handle
the irony of a woman's heart..
Date and Time of Writing
November 14, 2011
10:03am – 10:34am
It's a gloomy day and, as usual, manning alone my shop. Customers are not coming in and I was so bored that I was hoping to hear tones from my cellphone as I was waiting for a reply of the message that I sent the last night yet. From there I try to relate to myself on how a lover feels when his messages are ignored by the girl he adored and cherished. Oh what a pity…
Disturbing shadows darkness cast
Depression has found me at last
I released all anger from with-in
To the world confessed my sins
Started my life anew and free
Is this all I’m meant to be?
In my home or in my cell
Alone in my mind I dwell
Nothing left for me to fight
Do you feel that I’m all right?
I have feelings of such despair
Knowing there are those who care
Knowing all that rises also falls
Every single cell has four walls
The computer is now my friend
As my thoughts twist then bend
It seems that I have lost all hope
As my sanity dangles from this rope
Hi Everyone, Man I already miss you all.
I go to see my Surgeon tomorrow and I
should get my computer room back on
the 28. As I can I will pop in but know in
hearts that I love you. Keep your heads
up and hearts open and always know the
world is that much more special because
you are a part of it, Michael
deep beneath the ivory dome
pools of bending colors show
lashing out into the air
all around have stopped to stare
paint their faces to the sky
weaving out an endless lie
dripping down to blind their sight
weave them all into the night
the hazy fog obscures the view
all colors seem to start anew.
My new office is a maze and tangle of wires
a challenge for these tired old eyes:
What goes how and when and where--
think I'll go outside and get some air.
Fierce is the wind fueling the flame.
His raging fire has not a name.
A young girl, I am, with purity of heart.
My innocent spark exposed from the start.
The heat of his fury scorches in temptation.
Passion shall not lead me to eternal damnation.
Trapped and consumed by his fiery gaze.
Am I but a fool to chase the smoldering blaze?
My tender words blow in the stormy wind.
God, please forgive me for I have sinned...
This penetrating firestorm, I cannot contain.
Alas, only ashes of my heart will remain.
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, April 12,2012
for Fire Contest (Rick Parise)
This mighty school, this boiling stress,
Supposedly makes me the best of the best.
But how can I be as good as they say,
When I barely have the attention to pay?
From the dark of the morning, to the dark of the night,
I am constantly struggling to keep on the right.
I arrive their so early, and return home so late,
Only to find myself a fish caught on bait.
I feel like I’m breaking this one crucial rule;
And falling behind in this thing they call school.
I see Him in the everyday,
Though others don’t see things my way.
They tell themselves there’s nothing there.
I watch them with a vacant stare -
What G-d would let the world go bad?
Remembering the times we had
In days gone by when words were meant,
Now promises are wet cement.
No truth in anything but lies -
Each day I see this in their eyes
They long to find some happiness
In books, in lectures and events.
What truth is there in all that dazzle?
What more could they give but a hassle.
Be honest now, do they appease?
Does paper now bring you relief?
You’re seeking grand perfection!
Impossible, by definition!
Such irony I have to say,
In paper do their lives now lay.
I stand in awe of such mistrust,
They’d rather put their faith in dust.
What G-d would let the world go bad?
The one that left it in our hands.
I ask you, doubter, think on this -
What kind of G-d would you enlist?
A G-d that pre-decides your fate?
No longer choices do you make?
Instead, He forces you to be
Whatever He requests of thee?
To never let you change your mind
Is this the G-d you won’t deny?
He made the biggest choice of all -
We were the ones that had to fall,
For you to choose what’s best for you,
He had to let the rest choose too.
Before you judge the L-rd Almighty
Just think about the choice before thee
And listen to the still small voice
Cause after all, you have a choice.
This could change my life.
He knows all i want is to be his wife.
I'm so ready to be gone,
I'm so sick of feeling alone
Should i stay or should i go?
I ask my best friend and she says "hell no"
Its not like I'll be gone forever
Only one more year and we'll be back together.
Its a fresh new start,
With someone i love with my whole heart.
So many thoughts in my head
as i lay on this cold stiff bed.
I just want to be in your arms,
Just so scared of who this all harms.
My hand shakes as i write about this decision,
Like a new doctor making his first incision.
In my heart its a 100% yes
But in my head I'm thinking 'is this the best?'
All the thoughts of this goin right
Out wieghs the thoughts saying 'this isnt so bright'
Finally out of the madness
No more having so much stress.
No more screaming in my face
Finally ill be in the right place
Just hoping they accept me into their home
Because God knows i cant do this alone.
This isnt a maybe
are you ready baby?
Alone, I walk
Into a night, so dark and full of hate.
But then, a light begins to break.
And there is no more heart ake.
O shake and tremble,
But I do not surrender
To that black, lifeless space.
Soon, there will be no trace that it was ever there.
I wont be scared.
My shoulders are now weightless
And I feel free.
And I finally see who I am meant to be.
When you are deeply in love with a man whose heart is as black as coal,
Even though you don't know it, He'll wither away your soul.
You think you know him, oh so well.
But he's controlling, manipulative, and he's made your life a living hell.
Trust, unequivocal love, fidelity and support is what you gave him.
In return, he took everything you own and you're left saying "who, what, where and when"?
Secretly you still have love for him and you don't know what to do.
Wake up, he's never going to change, stupid, he never really loved you!!!!
I wish I was asked this question when I was five years old
For it's a question I would have answered as my words unfold
This never happened yesterday, it was way back, 1966
What made our neighbour decide, to ignite his floorboards sticks
Our whole house woke in panic, smoke billowed everywhere
Into the darkness we stared, at five years old and scared
Thoughts running through my head, confused in a darkening world
Then suddenly I could see, my vision became un-blurred
What I took I couldn't grab, for it was already a part of me
For I, I took myself, and thanked my eyes to see
But going back to the original question, just what would I grab
It would have been an image of my brother, he was seven, and he was fab
Within this world I live, is ascertain destruction of humankind.
The crystal ball has reveal to me a blaze in time.
The strongest man will not overcome.
The world is within a universe he formed.
The abyss is a cist a chamber that destroys.
Neolithic buildings are built for burial, the tombs surrounds.
Our life is afflicted by what we see.
Gorged to not scream
Productive is the ravine.
Waters - those jet streams possesses the body with such gift, is seen inside.
While eyes look through the washout, the smile does not shine.
The eyes become black on The Street of Catiline.
This time is over now.
The truth has transgressed.
The house, the phones, the batteries are all disable.
Yet man with all his might will not let go of yesterday.
Penned on May 12, 2014!
I am trying to find the backdoor
From this solitary room
The silence is oppressive
Shadows paint the walls with gloom.
The entrance stood wide open
I walked in feeling free
I was naïve and unsuspecting
When you pocketed the key.
I heard a loud jingle
As you sidled across the floor
Then you slipped through, to pull the latch
And boarded up the door.
You claimed to be a man of virtue
One of honour unsurpassed
But those keys that fill your pockets
Are not just tokens of your past.
My heart is held a prisoner
In this empty, lonely space
I wonder if this missing key
Is a bead on your necklace?
A Flower Through the Snow (or The Traveler)
Why is it always the merriment that’s rattling at the door,
In the middle of the day that keeps the night at war?
If only you could open up and let this traveller in,
There could be a-something done about hushing up this din.
There’s a bottle sure, an open sore, the salt of seven seas,
White lines lay upon on the shore from brow creasing pleas.
Well first it’s a little, little sorry then it’s just little more,
‘Til the book finds a new page - now who’s this written for?
Why’d you bury the bones and start thinking they were treasure,
And dig ‘em back up and find the horror not the pleasure.
Is it startled reassurance that the truth ain’t in the flesh?
Well it ain’t in the bones too if there’s no cartilage to mesh.
Now all the chorus girls know a thing or two about this
That night weary wanders see only blue for bliss
As they’re walking through the day putting night sighs to test
Shaking stuck fallen leaves from shady places where you rest
Shut your eyes, go to sleep, though there are a thousand things
To do before tomorrow when winter’s cold voice sings
Can you let this traveller in while there’s still flame in the fire?
Ask to hear his story but if you know it he won’t tell yer
Wait there warm, sit there childish, wait until the new spring.
If he’s asks you the way or to see just say it’s something
In your smile, so stick around it may show, might grow
Like a song in the belly, like a flower through the snow.
A Poem For The Erudite, it sure will be hot
Take the time out to listen, rubbish it's not
Straight from the life of a perspicacious young man
Try and comprehend it...I sure hope you can
There's a lot I can tell you, but I'll make it laconic
Words to astound/it works like a tonic
But, it all isn't good, I'm sure you'll agree
I robbed to support crack, went on a spree
Nonetheless, I must tell you about erstwhile things
About Cause and "Affect" and what it all brings
It started with punishment and led to abuse
Stomped, punched, and kicked like a piece of refuse
That was at home, a total nightmare
Told my story to many, few seemed to care
Yet, at school it was different, oui, au contraire
There were many happy times, but, in all they were rare
Still, to escape from my father, a partial reprieve
An escape so traumatic, you can hardly conceive
Fascinated by study, entwined in my thought
Trying to achieve, Knowledge I sought...
Then came junior high school, another hill to climb
Still, being abused....now etched deep in my mind
Then came the reefer, then came the coke
Life became heavy/like being grasped with a choke
Playing hooky from school to hang on "The Deuce"
Leaving sadness behind/youth on the loose
Coming home at all hours, high on the drugs
Fending off admonishment/not verbally/with shrugs
Now, we come to part of my Crack addiction
On a mission to " Scotty"/incarceration/great friction
On a mission nuff years, retaining intelligent potential
Well, I couldn't lose everything, the mind is essential
But, through all this in prison, you can't know my chagrin
For nothing egregious/no unredeemable sin
But, remember I told you about Cause and Affect?
Recalled in my poem, I helped you reflect
Being abused was profound, a real heartache
There were many times I thought, my life I would take
But, instead I turned to crack/searching in vain
I know to crack you say/how gravely inane
Yet, there's a moral to this story/my life in review
I was abused and kicked crack....and you can kick too
Who could have told? Who could have said?
That life is fair and it can't be altered;
Who owns the wisdom? Who owns the words?
That could calm a man who is tricked and shattered.
One cannot change things just overnight;
He can hold for long but not so tight.
Behind each brave man is cowardice;
For him to give up and have some peace.
No one's forbidden to strive so hard
For even a gambler must arrange his cards
Each one has purpose; each one has aim
That in the end no one to blame.
One may have reasons to others not known
Why he should smile when people frown;
If one has guts then he must dare
For if he fails no one would care.
One has his truth for him to follow
Even if others just could not swallow;
Just drink it up like a bubbling beer,
Give back their words that "life is fair".
The dumbest thing is to try to hold
For something soon the world unfolds;
It's useless when a thing got wavered
It can't be hidden but be discovered.
Suspecting crowd is hard to battle
The more the shame one has to tackle.
Who could confine the hassle and bustle?
When you're just a cork of a broken bottle.
Date & Time of Writing:
November 16, 2011
3:25pm – 4:10pm
Just looking at a bottle of soda drink and thinking how useless is the cap when the bottle is broken. A sort of relating to myself a lesson of something I see that is deemed worthless.
Torn into pieces, feeling belittled
Hearts hurtin, split down the middle
Dreams seem so real, steady wishin they weren’t
The same thing that makes me happy, can also make me hurt
I want to hold on, to keep my faith at hand
But deep down I know it’s been time to disband
Others see it and say it, I continue to disregard
I keep thinking I’ll change it, yet I end up scarred
I know we won’t end up together, never be as one
But the connections we have made aren’t so easily undone
Time with you is precious to me, I enjoy your company
And I understand it’s not only me you accompany
This is no longer a struggle for me, I’ve now accepted the fact
That I'm going to remain lower on the list, but I'm not sure I'm ok with that.
I’ll embrace our last year together as close friends, and hope the years will last
Too bad our thoughts of one another had to so deeply contrast.
As my lovers screams my heart always shatter.
Eye's turned red holding back crystal's of a spatter.
As she is willing to never listen to reason.
Always defensive thinking of a treason.
As the full moon rise then the gravity pulls.
Crashing waves of high tide the hatefulness unfolds.
The Illumination of the moonlight sparks do shine.
As lovers greed we eventually start grinding.
Like the magic cougar when I stalk my pray.
Soon there will be nothing for me to love away.
Confusion in my head always needing to be free.
The only way out is my personal poetry.
Sex and fantasy has always been overrated.
When fantasy comes it is always has been forsaken.
I stand, utterly hollow and alone.
Staring and wondering if he'll phone.
Why is it he has this hold over me?
Why can't he just leave me be?
One minute, I think I'm over him,
then all those thoughts and feelings begin.
The biggest part of me knows we can't be together,
but then I remember, we vowed it was to last forever.
I think of the name calling, and him being so vile.
Then here comes the happy memories followed by bile.
My throat burns, from the bile and from the pain.
A lump, stuck there as the tears fall like summer rain.
How does one get over the hurt and betrayal?
He's nothing at all like his first portrayal.
I thought he was loving, kind, and an honorable man.
Was his facade all part of some cruel, sinister plan?
How can you ever put your heart out there again?
I can not begin to tell you how heart wrenching its been.
I feel sorry for him, that he has to put me down.
Its the only way he can make himself feel renown.
I just wonder when the pain will start to subside.
I truly don't know how much longer I can stay on this ride.
One part of me still loves him, for I am still his wife.
The other part, can not keep putting myself through the strife.
A husband and wife are expected to go through dissension.
Love shouldn't have to be this hard though, its too much tension.
How do you say good-bye to a man you love and equally hate?
I never thought I would feel the love I have for him abate.
I fear a divorce is in order, as I do not feel he will ever change.
Its not like for the last two years we haven't been estranged.
I wish I could say that I want to wish him all the best.
But I don't since he's left this ragged, raw hole in my chest.
I know that's not the ladylike way to be.
However, you have no idea what he's done to me.
I once tried to see the best in people, and love fierce.
Well, with his coldness, my heart did he pierce.
I can only hope to one day, heal my broken heart.
He should be ashamed, for tearing my faith in love apart.
But I forgive him for all that he has ever done.
You see, it is I who will be the bigger and better one.
I only hope I can one day try my hand again at love.
And I hope its him that I will no longer be thinking of
Room In My Head
Drive it all away, when it’s just confusion
Up in my head, like a screaming illusion
Time after time, the memory drives
Until I can’t breathe, and still it strives
On it goes, like a pulsing beat
So far, no will, to collapse in defeat
The moment is here, make your choice
Scream if you can, but you have no voice
When it’s all said and done, you swallowed the pill
I’m up in your head and I won’t stand still
First there is Choice A, and then of course Choice B...
And under special circumstances, even a Choice C
On Monday, the decision seemed quite clear
But by Friday, my confidence began to disappear..
Choice A, and my family will probably be upset
If I choose Choice B, I may be living with regret
And when considering an alternative Choice C
Who knows what the ramifications just might be
So I keep on worrying and its hard to get to sleep
Counting choices instead of counting sheep
So from Scarlet O'Hara a tip I'll borrow.....
Procrastinate! Ill think about it all tomorrow!
Never a crescent but opalescent
This globe, suspended and always present
And the Wolf cannot be flesh or bone
In this void in time's dim desert zone
The Wolf drinks water by frozen moonlight
Tween slurps She's panting with all of her might
Behind Her is cool, clear space, not a sound
Only the dream, the moon, the pond, the ground
Before Her, Her own urge to lap abounds
Wet shadow animates Her slurping sounds
As She's prowling, the dreams of human minds
Resume here, and secret voices She finds
While the Wolf lingers in psychic powers
None shall wake, but quake, for several hours
Their minds in this clearing, none can hide
Into this stretch they've strayed, some petrified
Sleeping souls, unseen, drift round Her shadow
Longing to escape to some green meadow
Gathered souls meld with Her strange oasis
Their liquid ripples squirm like their faces
In each warm, active mind synapses spark
Captives perceive images as they arc
Meanwhile, the Wolf; in spirit world She drinks
A united sea; thoughts each dreamer thinks
Her lips draw in the collective spirit
Of their curious nature; they fear it
In Her belly flows their merged collages;
Impressions of their entwined barrages
The Wolf's clear as glass, exposing patterns
In colors blazed like Neptune's, like Saturn's
From Her drinking head down to Her wagging tail
She's made of dreamers captured by sleep's spell
Even my mind not stilled by silence
my thoughts outraged with hurt and hate
as Im dumbfounded with confusion
leaving the cause to no debate,
I cannot tell you what is wrong
to tell you means I'd have to trust,
and my heart no longer feels willing,
beating only cause it must.
I feel a dead man live my life
I see his cold abandoned heart,
I hear his agonising cries
as he is torn more apart,
knowing no peace, no rest I find
having no comfort, stuck in a bind
a vagabond, alone in his life
Ive been cut off, betrayal was the knife.
awaiting death, and still much worse
my whole life upon this earth
seems like a scheme to take my worth
and bring me to nothing,
such is my curse
and i fear the effects
may never reverse
and make believe that I am cursed.
the way I feel too great for words
too great to bear such constant hurt
my soul depressed and left prostrate
before God to help, I hope it works. . .
I find it unbelievable,
Perhaps a little mystical
That Oxford and Webster are perplexed.
Their lack of info leaves me vexed.
Their reservoir of words is vast.
They've never failed me in the past.
Ligure simply is not in there.
Nor does quadrivial appear.
I know it's multiplied by four,
But neither tells me any more.
If f I had taken chemistry,
All of these might be clear to me.
I thought an instrument at sea,
A pericope would prove to be.
It's defined as short words of verse.
I've written them, some bad, some worse.
The day before yesterday was laced with dismay in every possible way,
Yesterday was better but has into the backdrop faded away.
But today is another day,
New stuff to think, do and say.
Today I will brave the world all alone,
And enjoy my freedom full blown.
I will live life with zest,
Try to do things, never second best.
I will live to be sensitive,
Towards others be more receptive.
I will live to be forgiving,
Be more tolerant and caring.
I will speak to all who walk my path,
Make peace with all and unnecessarily not unleash quaint wrath.
I will correct all my wrongs,
And tell this to all by making them my songs.
I will proudly write notes about the new me,
And publish and upload them for all to see.
I will work to be creative,
And learn to open my mind’s eye and not be obstructive.
I will always proudly wear my own neoteric attitude,
To succeed, master the skill of gratitude.
The day before yesterday was laced with dismay in every possible way,
Yesterday was better but has into the backdrop faded away.
And today is the right day,
To commence these fresh new things that I write and say
I welcome you all to the dance
A place where souls are held in trance
Destiny is our truest fate
Taking your soul will feel great
I was born unto this life
To distribute pain and strife
There is nothing you can do
I shall have this dance with you
As we dance across the floor
I shall show you what destiny is for
You can try with all your might
I will have this dance tonight
As we dance you should know
I will crawl up in your soul
So take my hand and join the dance
I hold your soul in my trance
No need to try and run away
With your soul I shall play
By the time I am through
Nothing that you can do
For I shall leave you like a shell
As I take your soul with my spell
There is nothing like a dark romance
So will you please join the dance?
Beauty can be rated by so many things
Like the noise birds make as they sing
Beauty is a flower growing from a seed
It also is a baby tender with its needs
If a person takes the time to look around
There is so much beauty on this earth to be found
Beauty can be a mountain all covered up with snow
Or it can be firelight with its entrancing glow
One thing in my life I have come to know
No beauty is as beautiful as the beauty of the soul
I posted this this way to show how
much poetry has changed me. I
guess now you understand why
I wanted to bury them old poems.
Sometimes like right now I just
can't help but cry for my pain is
The words you said,
and blew my way, like arrows on the wind.
Tore right through my open arms,
for I THOUGHT you were my friend.
I had in mind to reach for you,
and share some special thought,
you passed right by , your only aim,
to take the open shot.
We’d been friends, but now somehow,
you say I don’t belong,
somehow you’re bigger, better, MORE,
and I was just a pawn.
You’ve gathered up your little group,
and circled round to feed,
I was only scrap for you,
now nothing that you need.
Perhaps you think that all are fooled,
and don’t see what I have seen,
but you have cut me deeply,
and God has seen me bleed.
So keep up your game of “I’m so much better”,
and direct your little play,
there’ll come a time when all’s revealed,
and always a price to pay.
It seems I just cannot win,
For my life is in a constant spin.
Not one person can I please,
Nor does it seem I can appease.
My children refuse to confide in me,
Telling me to let them be.
They expect me always to be around,
Yet when needed, they cannot be found.
Family expects me to just be there,
But no thought my way do they spare.
Their moods I am always to understand,
And be there to lend a needed hand.
When I am feeling bad or subdued,
I am told I am just too rude.
When I am in a rush,
I am still expected to hush.
Who said it was ever ok
For me NOT to have a bad day?
Why is it ok when I am under the gun
For everyone else to have their fun?
Yet again I come up short,
Just as I am given a kick for sport.
Just another day to be,
In the life of being...me.
December 18th I felt the urge to cry
I felt like taking my life
Giving all back to my Creator at once
Saying "what's done is done"
I walked in the cold hours on end
Contemplating death as a sin
I wanted to talk to someone about my pain
But If I told them of my feeling would they think of me as insane?
Still searching for something to gleam about
Hoping something innocent and beautiful will take me out of this slouch
Rescue and deliver me from this evil tenure
Convince me that I'm not the worlds biggest sinner
As the blood drips over the bridges edge
Should I step further and plummet into this river instead?
I think stubbornness keeps me going
Even when the words just are not flowing
Embarrassed to quit though maybe I should
Try to write something great, if only I could
Empty of thoughts that seem worth while
Thinking maybe I can make someone smile
I keep trucking, usually writing at night
With my muse I have such a grand fight
Once in awhile I write something good
At least something that seems understood
So I'll keep writing until time's bitter end
Then beware-from heaven/hell poems I'll send...
So far buried beneath a mound of pain,
the surface now polished washed clean by the rain.
Carried through by the pre-manifestation's that dwell deep inside,
or is it the overpowering accusations causing the waterfall of tears I have cried.
The light at the end of the tunnel has burnt out,
only to be left with stacks of insecurity and doubt.
Lost in the dark with no ideas or visions,
all alone, scared and unable to make any of my own decisions.
My frame of mind has been setback to childlike stages,
with many countless unbecoming fiery pits of rages.
Helpless as can be, Am I'm loosing my mind?
Someday's I wish it's my entire life I could rewind.
If only I could get back to what I used to be,
A woman that was happy, wild, alive and free.
I used to carry my freedom securely and by myself,
with my fears locked away on the highest shelf.
I have already given all of my heart and my devotion,
with many tears, with many laughs, along with many other emotions.
I would trade anything to be "normal" again,
I pray most of everyday for a miracle, "Dear Lord, Amen."
The dream is still within
How painful high school has been!
Should I drop out? Scream and shout?
What in the world is life about!
My existance may seem
To be but a dream
But still have love's light
I won't give up this fight!
The Sun dawns and the Day is born
Its light shed on the souls forlorn
The clouds part and thunder desists
As they march on, lost in the mists
Step by step to the end of time
In perfect rhythm; perfect line
The sun sets and darkness becomes them –
A dead calm smothers the bedlam
Torments of night encompass all
With burning mem’ries of the Fall
A rain of stars breaks through the skies
Reflected in their frigid eyes –
Trembling fingers, shimmering tears
Quiet whispers and haunting fears
The sun dawns and a day is born
Gazed upon by hollow eyes Forlorn
Death may be a release for ME,
it my be what sets me Free.
Free from things that cause me Pain.
Free from you that I Love in Vain.
The mind of an art.
A mastermind in the least.
Tearing out hearts.
A murdererous beast.
To think they'll find them.
Hidden so well.
Do all be condemmed?
To suffer as I dwell?
Sure I feel bad, maybe seldom.
As I walk over their bodies.
To think who'dve held them?
Not to care, in the very very least.
To keep a strong mind, a murder in the beast.
The search goes on, they'll never find them.
Hidden so well, but should all be condemmed?
Not me, not me- my stomach soaks lightly.
Hands and a mind, guilt is slightly.
The art of murder, a mastermind at rest.
I've slaughtered them all, brutal at my best.
The scene now grey, and my hunger is fed.
To know now all, those bastards are dead.
Mary, Mary, quite contrary said no too many times.
The boyfriend did cry foul, and left her standing in her prime.
But that’s OK I tell you, he wasn’t the right man to make a team.
And she was looking for true love, that illusive, lovely dream.
The important thing to remember is what this means to you.
Waiting can make sure that true love, is really, really true.
I'm losing the faces, I'm losing the names
Quit toying with me, quit playing games
My had spins faster than ever before
As I try to decide if I should open the door
I lose sense of direction, I lose sense of smell
I can't see a thing when I'm under your spell
But no, I need to focus, I need to stay here
Do not surrender, though he is near
My hands are now shaking, I'm trying to hide
The things I wish I didn't feel inside
I smile my smile when you smile yours
But It's a scary feeling-
Knowing for me you'd get down on all fours
Please, just don't. Don't flatter me so
you love more about me than I even know
Your eyes intrigue me and I'm lost in them
Like the deepest lake, the glossiest gem
I'm losing it all, except for you
And if I did, I don't know what I would do
spilling nothing but lies
hopefuly they will meet their demise
putting words in your ear
but nothing's made clear
claming to predict
that many will die
but thats just to save lives
so they say
but is it really the right way
is this just to bury
what the truth may carry?
they think this is art
the way they make soldiers depart
they claim they help
although they make them yelp
heh, but dont worry
i could of just made up this story
The monster became a living, walking nightmare
my dive into insanity, no longer perfect, containing a blank stare
I should resist, the monster will find me, run away with me
Pretend to hear my meager complaints, force me to see what I'm afraid to see
Blame and guilt, volleying right and left, up and down
It's crashing me closer, with every step, I'm falling to the ground
It's all a game, just play along, play the game, play it well
Brimming confidence, dissolved in thoughts, of what? I won’t tell
Demons, devil born souls, run quick, run fast, stand my ground
No sense of fear, n sense of foreboding, not even a slight sound
High speed, pursuit of hell, bent on going, bent on crashing
Giving into the power, life's faster, lights flashing
Crash and torment me again, my eyes close after all
The beginning of the end for me, feeling numb after the fall
Is there a way out? I'm different, distant and moved on
Listen to the water, calling, coaxing into death, I'm gone
Endless, empty cloud; dreamless oblivion; oxygen, exhalation
Am I dead? Still alive? Broken into pieces, I need motivation
Reality closes in, walls me in; until there’s nothing there
Death comes behind me, containing a blank stare.
I never seem able to stop a fall, my life is just a mess
Even though I don't look it- smiling in my blue dress
I comb my hair and keep it down, something I never did
The secret behind it? I can keep my face well hid
My smile, and my kind words mean nothing, no not these days
And on the outside, though I may seem stable, my body discretely sways
I cannot handle the weight on my back but bear it with a grin
Though on the inside I lost the game, on the surface I appear to win
At night I'll curl into myself and cry until I'm asleep
Yet in front of people-smile. I smile so they can't see me weep
I feel like an autumn leaf,
Fragile in the wind.
Leaving the tree to fall underneath,
With the life of the branch within.
I fall through the depths of time,
With a fluid, dance like motion.
Mommy, why do you keep putting that needle in your arm?
Why do you keep putting us at harm?
Mommy why do you keep putting that needle in your leg?
How many times do we have to plead and beg?
Mommy, are we not enough for you to put the drugs down?
Are we not worth being around?
Mommy please, you have to let the drugs go.
We want our old mommy back and all the love you used to show.
Our beautiful mommy who was forever so lively and bright.
Can't be so weak to give up this fight.
Do you want to watch us grow up big and strong?
Do you not realize your teaching us wrong?
Slowly we watch as your slipping away.
All we do is worry more and more everyday.
Mommy, you need to face your addiction, no longer can you run.
You have two children who need you, a daughter and a son.
We are so scared that one day we will find our mommy dead.
With a needle in her arm, lifeless on the bed.
If your not strong enough to do it for us then do it for yourself.
Stop making us worry about your safety and health.
We just want our mommy back, the way she used to be.
Before the drugs took over, a loving caring mommy is what we need.
Mommy, we need you out here with us, helping dad.
We are so sick and tired of being lonely and sad.
Its not fair for daddy to raise us on his own.
So get your act together, get clean and come home.
We hope this time you can truly stay sober.
We hope this time it will finally be all over.
Once again be the loving mother and wife we know you can be.
We miss you so much mommy and hope this time you can stay clean.
Mommy, you are very loved by us but we cant accept the things you choose to do.
You can win this battle mommy, we know you can because we believe in you.
This poem is dedicated to my children: Daunavyn and DayonaLee
I wrote this while being incarcerated at Sarasota County jail. I am a struggling addict trying hard to accomplish my goal and become a recovered addict.
When I took the time to see my addiction through the eyes of my children I finally realized how much it had, is and was affecting them.
You played my mind
With that tricky style
That untamed shimmer in your eye
Leaves my world upside down
You disappeared like Houdini
And came back with nonchalance
You shared a new world
Then took it all back
You held me and soothed me
You whispered love to my soul
But you lied, and you stabbed me
Yet I stand tall, unbroken
You are too real to be real
Too believable to believe
Well...I wanted to do something silly as I did,
In writing a poem for this bid.
It took but a TINY HERCULEAN try,
All the while, I'm asking "Why?"
I thought of writing about the time,
When I didn't even have a dime.
But then I realized how silly it would be,
To write something, only about me.
SO, SITTING and SMELLING the SWEET SEPAL,
I decided not to write about me at all.
Instead, while eating my JUMBO SHRIMP,
I decided it would best to be an OVERGROWN IMP.
Writing about the CARNATION CARRIED by the COURTIER,
Who SANG his SONG SUCCESSFULLY to his SIRE.
Oh, the WORDS that he WOULD WARBLE WISTFULLY,
While the GREAT and GORGEOUS GREETED him GLEEFULLY.
His CANTANKEROUS KING COMMONLY CAROUSED,
Yet, only SONG SOOTHED him when his SHACKLED SEVERITY SEPIA aroused.
Thus, often abed the king would go,
His DARKNESS LIGHTENED by the SONG SANG SO.
And if this silliness be not a poem the rules will fit,
Maybe I should just lay down my pencil...and QUIT !!
New Hampshire Has Spoken
©2012 C. Brent Cloyd
Romney is choice of the republican elite
With thirty-nine percent he’ll be hard to delete.
Paul’s crowd is excited and nipping at his heels
They’ve made monetary policy issues real.
Huntsman says third place gives him a ticket to ride
So on down to South Carolina he will slide.
Gingrich has fallen and he is madder than heck
His story is about the cards in Romney’s deck.
Santorum is still smiling and is headed south
Will his message relate or is he just a mouth?
Perry did not know he was even in the race
Betting on the Palmetto state to save his face
I woke up this morning in the kitchen and not really sure who I was,
Tid-Bits and flashes from last night are now making my head buzz;
Did I fall into a wormhole or get abducted by a UFO,
With the pounding pain inside my skull, right now I just don’t know;
I vaguely remember Rosie complaining about the night,
And who were those Vacuum Salesmen, they didn’t get an invite;
My insomnia must have been cured by drinking that nuclear waste,
I’ll use a Listerine soaked tissue to freshen up, what happened to my toothpaste;
As I venture to the bedroom I spot Hammond in his Spandex boxer shorts,
I hate to wake him up but right now I need a report;
My living room is up in shreds, did I host a Rock Convention,
The things I found upon my floor I’m not going to mention;
Did Dire Straits have a concert in my house while I was out,
So much for wine and dine, I’m fixing to start to shout;
I discovered lunar craters in what used to be my yard,
The fire my friends didn’t put out left my folding chairs all charred;
Well I’m off to take some medicine and start drifting back to sleep,
I’ve never had a gig like that and fixing up won’t be cheap!
~4th Place in the "Wacky Weekend Challenge(Remembering Tom)"Contest by Catie Lindsey~
I don't know why we do what we do.
You banned me so I banned you.
I don't know what made you so mad.
I may never know, and that is so sad.
I don't know how I am still here.
It wasn't my time and time must be dear.
I'm not sure if I'm glad or let down.
That sounds bad and may cause a frown.
I do know I have opened the door.
You are not banned from me anymore.
I will be here if you change your mind.
I have found friends are so hard to find.
I don't know why we do what we do.
I guess I'll know one day - when my day is due.
I sit here in this white walled room, not knowing what to do,
I sit here in my misery, thinking all my wrongs through.
All there is to do in here, is think of my mistakes,
And think of all the people that have blown me off like flakes.
This room is full of people that I truely do despise,
But I have done them wrong as well, see myself through their eyes.
Its really hard to understand why I mess up so much,
But in this white walled room it gives me time to dwell on such.
And why I'm so pathetic i guess we will never know,
I know I'm stuck in here because the punches that I've thrown.
So anyone thats reading of the white walled room I'm in,
I'm sorry for what I've destroyed, including ex best friends.
Home alone, and nowhere to go,
I ponder my existence, and what's it to show?
The care I crave, the emotions I lust,
Society has filled me only with distrust.
I pick up the bottle, open the top,
What am I dong? I have to stop!
I dump the contents into my hand,
I fight to force it away, but I jusy can't!
"Stop it! you idiot!" I scream aloud,
Tears are flowing, as my blood starts to pound
"Why can't I just end it!?" I ask with fury.
My hand forces to my mouth, as my sight goes blurry,
"What have I done...?" I question in fear,
Not ready to leave, not from here.
I can't take it back, it's already done,
I close my eyelids, as I stare into a sun...
South Carolina Done
Huntsman took his ride to the Carolina coast
Campaigned a few days then decided he was toast.
Perry traveled south and spent plenty of loot
Then endorsed another cause the crowds wouldn’t root.
Paul rested in Texas, showed up a few days late
But his fans clapped and cheered wildly at the debate.
Santorum worked hard in his embroidered sweater vest
But could not convince conservatives he was best.
Romney stuttered about taxes, had worried face
Establishment squirmed as he badly lost the race.
Gingrich endured attacks from a bitter ex-wife
Seized the moment in debates, voters gave new life.
The first duo
The candidate we can trust
War against corruption
The second duo
The best man for the jobs
The rule of law prevails
The apex of the duo
The life shortened
The good interred
With his bones
Emerged from the interred
Bones of the second goods
The third duo
Re branding Nigeria and Nigerians
Witnessing is dislocation
Witnessing is development
Maimings and murders
Here and there
Is a celebrated gladiators
Is like glint
Let there be
Food on the table,
Foundation of a state
Re brand served and serving Nigerians
I don't understand why.
Why you hurt me all the time,
and try to make me cry?
I know that I'm not perfect,
but I never claimed to be.
I only know one way to live,
and that's just to be me.
I get that we're polar opposites,
you're the sun and sandy beach.
I'm winter , cold and drifting,
the moon you cannot reach.
I'm sorry I can't be the person,
you need me to be.
I don't know how to change it,
so I'm setting myself free.
I'm one thing and you're another
and I'm tired of playing games,
I'll always be just who I am ,
I'll always be the same.
It hurts that you don't want me,
but I have to let it go,
I can't take these lies anymore,
they're bruising up my soul.
So now you're free to be the person
you want so much to be.
I'm just here in the shadows, now
so don't worry about me.
I'm going on with what I have,
and leaving you behind.
I hope you have much happiness,
and peace to soothe your mind.
I'll always hold a prayer for you,
and hope you'll say the same.
I'll save the good times in my heart,
and never forget your name.
I’m standing here so nervous, just about to pass out
Terror has it’s grip on me-I’m filled to the brim with doubt
My palms are sweaty and itchy, I’m having trouble holding on,
What in the heck was I thinking, I should’ve just withdrawn;
Now Luck can sense my fear and he’s prancing side to side,
On the outside I might be smiling but my gut is twisting inside;
The judge is getting closer now, should I be on the left or right,
Wracking my brain to remember, no one knows of my plight;
I step around my horse’s nose, he’s finally standing still,
The Judge is looking Luck up and down with terrifying skill;
Things are flashing through my mind, I check them one by one,
Did I clip his ears, Did I paint his hoofs, I refuse to be outdone;
The Judge is almost finished now, he tips his hat to me,
I dip mine back and he moves on-I breathe a sigh of relief;
Now all we have to do is wait for his final judgment call,
I whisper softly to Lucky, “Soon you’ll be back in your stall”;
Waiting now is the hardest part, hoping we did alright,
A top ten would be amazing, if not we gave them a good fight;
A backwoods girl competing in such a prestigious show,
How Luck and me made it this far, I honestly don’t know;
The Judge is handing off his card, the results are about to be read,
My heart is pounding harder now, my body filled with dread;
They start at number 10 then count down to First Place,
10 is called, then 9, then 8-I hang my head in disgrace;
I’m certain now that we didn’t place, my dreams are shattered in two,
I shake my head in disappointment-So much for our debut;
“First Place number 6-6-2 handling Lucky White Star”
I’m sure I didn’t hear him right, A cruel joke by far;
I stand there stunned to silence, then make my way to the gate,
Why on earth did he pick us, My questions will have to wait
I grab the blue and pin it on my Luck Mans haltered head
Truthfully I’d have been happy with Yellow, White, or Red
Shocked and stunned by this happy turn, I show my boy off proud
I was hoping for a top ten but my First place won the crowd!
~For the Top 10 Contest~
MY HEART HAS BEEN BROKEN, SHATTERED LIKE GLASS
MY SOUL HAS BEEN MISS GUIDED LEAD OFF ITS PATH
EACH NEW LESSON BECOMES HARDER TO LEARN
LOVE IS A FLAME OF FIRE, STAND TOO CLOSE, AND YOU'LL GET BURNED
THE DOORS THAT FREE ME EMOTIONALLY THEY REMAIN CLOSE
YOU CAN FIND ME IN THE GARDEN OF THE WILTED ROSE
EACH PETAL IS A MEMORY SLOWLY FADING TO BLACK
THE PAIN CONSTANTLY REMINDS ME WHERE YOU'RE AT
JUST A THOUGHT OF YOU WAGES A WAR IN MY MIND
HEARTACHE HAS BEEN AMONG US SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME!
Wrath of man works not of the righteous God God will repay the wrath of a king the rod You messengers of death be wise pacify it no man's land before you lay in a ditch This is not a war game or a trifling siege you should think twice on a race to the sea The heavy burdens of violence and strife Whence come wars the friend of this world consumed upon your own lusts you whorled Where red worm twirls know what spirit you are of why should you die all men of war repent look above Warpath end of the war desolations are determined it will be feathered fowl and beast filled flesh profits nothing you see Your money your guns will not save your soul alive there is only one at the appointed time that will revive Seek peace and follow it with all men created in the image of God ensue it peace emancipated The obstinate the way of peace they know not unwise birdmen in their own snare they are caught Wars and rumors of wars looking for the day of no more wars neither shall they learn war any more children beat their swords
We learn that life is tough
And you must always be rough
You can only be able to survive
If your willpower, you revive
Because life is like being in a ring
A fight, every punch like a sting
Your opponent is surely fate
If you can beat it, great!
But trust me, it will be hell
Ask anyone, they will tell
Because fate will take away
All your possessions if it may
It will take away your loved one
Just to have some fun
You will have to watch their death
All of it, to the last breath
It will take away your friends
Bad things happen in trends
From your job, you will be fired
Although, everyone, you inspired
It will toy with all your emotions
Waste all of your devotions
All you can do is sit and cry
Even if you wish you would die
Nothing will stop it on its quest
Its the one winning the contest
Enjoying each one of your screams
Leaving you with shattered dreams
Morning approaches out of another sleepless night
Anticipation gathers around my bedposts come daylight
Decisions made in the dark,they fade away so fast
Was it a dream of consequences related to the past?
Should I disregard the calm I feel as I begin the day?
Maybe I will learn how to get out of my own way!
It's very good to have the strength to seek out all your choices
But not so great when all you hear are everybodys voices
Telling you this and meaning that just doesn't cut the mustard
It leaves you silently indignant and so very flustered
So just follow your voice within,find what you really need
Let the naysayers figure out you won't be taking heed
Now you may wonder, what lust means to me?
I can sure tell you, it's in all that we see.
It's on the computer and it plays with your head.
When you're searching the web, and sex pops up instead.
It comes when you're innocently watching the game.
Here comes that commercial, she's calling your name.
Ooh, Michelob rocks have a sip, come on in.
If you drink this brand I'm yours, score and win.
It is often next door laying out by the pool.
Wearing a thong with no top, so you drool.
I find that it most often comes with a fight.
You made me mad, I'm getting lucky tonight.
It likes to creep up when passion gets cold.
Oh, let's have a threesome; Dare to be bold.
It's at your job when you're feeling defeated.
One marriage down, now you've gone off and cheated.
The fact is that lust is temptations best friend.
It may be enticing, when you let it in.
Yet, when it is through using up your good name.
It will spit you back out, and it leaves you to blame.
We’d gag as we whizzed through the town
if someone rolled the window down.
It was a most offensive smell
and a persistent smog as well.
Committees formed, complaints were made
and rules and regulations laid
upon the owners big oak desk,
to obey rules or face the risk
of paying a most hefty fine.
I was glad that mill wasn’t mine.
Miill closes down and cleanups start.
Hundreds of folks wtih a sad heart.
Wage-earners paid the massive price,
but now the town smells very nice.
Won a third place in odor contest.
Her skin white, drained
Her expression dark, pained
Eyes staring out, completely blank
Hair lifeless, dank
Her fingers curled, still
In her mouth, a cyanide pill
Broken, shattered, torn little pieces,
Of my self; I continue to lose the way,
Dealing, deserving, dishing out,
A suitable punishment there is not,
A bloody trickling of tears,
Covering the body in sickness and in fear,
Stretching the length of my insides,
My shame knows no bounds, besides,
Who could fix this broken thing?
So lost in a cliche of words that is so a maze, bring
Me, this lost lamb, no shepard to be had,
No, deserving hardly, I willingly walk the other way.
Shall I not desert the others?
I shame mothers and I shame fathers,
Stay away from me!
Only pain and misery that will be.
A young boy who’d been told often enough of the virtues of honesty,
Resolved to tread the same path even in difficulty.
He decided he’d never tell lie nor steal things,
Love all those around him, be they paupers or kings.
He knew the path he’d chosen was going to be tough,
And the journey he had initiated was going to be rough.
But his resolve was firm and his mind was set,
He wanted to find the truth in the advice that he’d never forget.
Saying so, he walked forth, never to turn back again,
To bear all that befell, sunshine or rain.
But how was he to know of the hardships to come,
For advices are not to be followed, only to be given by some.
The very next day at school, the teacher asked him a question he didn’t know,
He refused to cheat, even when proffered to so.
So he was beaten by his teacher for his ignorance,
But he bore his first reward of honesty with forbearance.
And later in the day when his teacher asked him if he had taught well,
He replied honestly, that he thought it was worse than hell.
The teacher was infuriated by his remark hence,
And he was beaten again for his insolence.
He uttered not a cry nor did he complain,
The path of righteousness was difficult to him it was plain.
When back at home his mother asked him how he’d fared at school that day,
His honest reply infuriated her straightaway.
So he was beaten once again,
The poor boy, his honesty did not go in vain.
And then, while playing his team decided to cheat,
But he was honest enough to point it out to the kids across the street.
Furious now his teammates told him to quit the field,
From their wrath, his honesty did not shield.
But the poor fellow bore it with courage and goodwill,
It was a small price for honesty, he decided still.
And when in the evening, he had guests at his place,
He honestly told them they’re a great nuisance on their face.
This remark annoyed his father no end,
And the poor fellow was grounded for the weekend.
All his agonies made him realise with tact,
That advices look good only in books is a fact.
I raise my glass
and give false cheers
Leave on the light
to hide my fears
Wear make up
to fade the years
Bow my head
to avoid their sneers
Run in the rain
to disguise my tears
Plaster on a smile
as inside it sears
Gaze at the clock
as the time nears
Watch it slip away
as it disappears
I'm tired, yet still wide awake
Thinking about how all we had was dull and fake
I stood there and saw you kissing her
everything has become a heavy blur
I could tell in your eyes that's all it took
she got your heart with just a look
I don't know why i even try
all you do is make me cry
all you do is break me down, but you've made me see
there's no way in hell we were meant to be
THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND *
First the facetious stuff then the seriously bad *
Moralizing punch line which I usually do add.
Don’t understand difference between horse and pony.
Don’t understand languages like Gaelic or Shoshone,
All sound and look pretty much the same.
Why do some folks get excited about football game
And other folks get wild about fashion clothing
While I regard both with loathing?
Don’t get it when a rich guy walks past a poor
And doesn’t even notice him standing in the door.
Or when evening news shows unwanted puppy rescued
While millions are lonely, homeless, dole-queued.
Must be my lack of proper education and sensibilities
But when I meet old ladies living under shopping trolleys
My instinct is to equalize the difference ‘tween us
Sell my limousine and chauffeur and take a bus.
I reckon that my ignorance and ill-education’s
Why I never learned to behave properly in such situations.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .. . .. . . . . . . . .. .
* Title was given to me by Nancy Jones ( Nancy with the laughing eyes)
* “Bad” means “good” in Mohammed Ali’s vocab, so that’s good enough for me.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Three and a half years
After “we” parted,
When “we” first started.
The laughter and tears
The times that we shared,
How much we had cared.
You would take me out
We’d go on long walks
All our sincere talks.
As I think it out
Asking myself why
Was it all a lie?
A couple months passed
We got back in touch
I loved you so much.
We realized time
May bring change of heart
Our very first start.
No more hurt you said
And no more lying
In the rain crying
Awaiting your call
Or knock on the door
My heart sure did soar.
Accepting it now
You never have cared
Everything we shared.
You just want to hurt
And play your own game
It won’t be the same
The memories will last
It’s all in the past.
Cobwebs obscure the heavily lain sky
From branches reaching like fingers on high
Eerily looming in foggy night air
Where luring creatures all tangle and snare
Specks of dust blot out bright visions of hope
Calling the dark from unraveling rope
As gnarly trees weep in dull shades of gray
Choking wood and dale where children did play
Howling wind beckons the soul to remain
As cobwebs cluster in a crumbling brain
Spinning in a maze of thickening dust
While wild dogs eagerly devour the crust
Alone in your fear, the filaments trussed
In constricting webs, the mind reaping dust
*Theme, Cobwebs and Dust
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, March 13, 2012
For Cobwebs and Dust contest (Francine Roberts)
Your actions and your words do not coincide
I'm unsure if it's emotions or disinterest you're trying to hide
Please just be honest, just let me know
If you really care about me, or is it all for show
How do I differentiate between love and lust
When so much of us was based around arguing and distrust
My heart breaks daily with each time I wake
But i learn slowly that these are decisions only God can make
I don't understand you, I can't begin to unravel
All the promises you made, all the places 'we' would travel
I've learned I'm the only one I can trust, only one I can depend on
Life's hard but I'm stronger now that you're gone
Please don't try to stick around, Don't say the words I love you
When it comes to both of us, YOU'RE the one claimed you're through
Have you ever bounced a rubber ball?
The way it bounces back off the wall
There is a simple truthful fact
Harder you throw - harder it bounces back
Sometimes things are clear to see
As I’m the ball the ball is me
Sometimes life can be real hard
As the dealer flips another card
The devil attacks in many ways
I have seen some real hard days
There is truth in the things I write
Devil and I are having us a fight
Just as the truth is the honest fact
Many times I’ve bounced right back
I wrote this poem with a smile
See I like to go that extra mile
I have found in the prayers I pray
I’m a rubber ball who is here to stay
I wanted to thank you all for the prayers.
I woke up this morning pretty optimistic
about everything that is happening.
I reckon the Lord will have my back.
You know thats a real good feeling
something I dreamed I could say.
May God Bless Us All !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
People think differently, anticipate the best.
Face possibility, bravery trusts with zest.
Panic stifles reason; rash actions bring regret.
Sorrow has its season, but patience, does not fret.
Time heals many wounds, assuming wipes out care.
Trouble comes all to soon; thinking makes one aware.
When panic comes to call, trust can erase all fear.
Love and faith standing tall helps hope reign bright and clear.
© October 9, 2011
Thank goodness we're off that ship
I feel like we've been on an acid trip
To have my crew stand by my side
United together no one can divide
I recall the day our story started
My ship and it's entitlement slowly departed
To outer space at warp factor six we went
As we save mankind although tired and spent
Planets were reached as humanity stretched
The history of humans was now future etched
Our mission accomplished we headed back
I now sit in this room and take all this flak
Thinking, pondering in this padded place
As my shadow and I stare on fully laced
If it was not for this jacket I'd shake his hand
This dark shape on the wall is my second in command
They tell me I'll never be spaceman of the year
"I will so, have no fear!" I just have to get out of here....
The silence was so deafening as I longed to talk it out
You said nothing’s wrong, but left me with a doubt
I gathered all my things and gave you back your key
You never thought to ask, why are you leaving me
Communication is at fault, it can take the blame
For talking this thing out, I am no longer game
Tried to make you understand, tried to make you see
That love is a two way street, not something that is easy
You wanted me to be someone that I won’t ever be
So it is better to leave it alone and so I’ll set you free
Is it over, are we through,you asked before I shut the door
Yes, I said, I just can’t take this silence anymore
The car is loaded now and I am pulling out of the drive
Tears burn my eyes, I don’t want you to see me cry
It’s over, yes it’s over, though it had never quite begun
We could never talk about us, so what’s done is done
Fingers, Fingers, I just let them go,
Where they will take this, I just don't know.
They are moving so fast right now they're a blurr,
They are even making my nerves start to stir.
But I am letting them go to where they have got,
What they are writing, a clue I have not.
For they are in a frenzy you see,
And that is just what they want to be.
They want to move so fast I can't stop,
If I do, I think that from my hands they might drop.
So go fingers, go...to where you will,
I shant stop you from even putting down swill.
Because the frenzy has caught them,
And now they want to answer it some.
They still have not stopped, or even slowed down,
I feel like I'm writing like Bozo the Clown!
But if I am I'll just take it in stride,
It's the fingers that have done it, so nothing to hide.
After all, I couldn't get by without their frantic pace,
When I want to write on this poetry place.
So why should I stop them when they want a chance,
To make the keys tingle and jump to their dance.
I guess they are getting tired and sore,
Or maybe they think that what they've put down is a bore.
Well, however it turns out it will be their own plight,
After all, it was Finger Frenzy, that brought out this fight!
What's The Point...I smile on the outside to hide the pain.
No one knows that thoughts of suicide are slowly driving me insane!
What's The Point...Deep in my heart I'm crying.
Childhood memories are tearing me apart and I feel like dying!
What's The Point...I wonder why grandpa would do that to me.
"Protect me grandma, for you are all I have in a family!"
What's The Point...There are nightmares, and so many fears.
I feel no one cares, and I hide the tears.
What's The Point...So look beyond a smile, and grin.
Because no one knows ones lifestyle, or the cause of ones sin!
What's The Point???????
There's something wrong with you my dear.
I don't know what it is.
The voices say it's in your stare.
I touch it in your kiss.
I saw you looking at your hands,
while sitting by the fire.
I wonder if you're making plans
to light my funeral pyre?
The way your eyes are glinty black
as bright as onyx stars,
does fill me with a sudden dread,
I sense your inner wars.
Out there across the prairie
the wind,the rain,the storm....
but in here by my loved one,
I should be safe from harm.
Yet lately you've been changing,
you smile when you're alone,
right now your face by candle light
is chilling to the bone.
I'll wrap our past around me,
Sweet memories I'll keep,
and take off out across the plains.................
or kill you in your sleep.
I lay on the ground with my hands over the edge...
I have felt the flames of hell kiss the back of my head...
My lips face the sky where my kisses struggle to reach...
My limbs are stretched and pulled apart for the devils feast...
There is a glow of light inches from my fingertips as I crawl...
And then whispered words of peace craddle my upcoming fall...
I'm now back on my feet and held up by faith and wisdom...
But always caught in between the two with little room to run...
A world explored but never found.
A king born but never crowned.
A boat sunk that never sailed.
An experiment lost that never failed.
A ninja master who never fought.
A dangerous criminal who was never caught.
A rusting plane that never flew.
A clueless teen that never knew.
A knowledge far beyond our years
That makes us shed many tears.
Could we never make it right?
Will we forever refuse to fight?
Even though Brothers and Sisters I have none
that man standing there is my Father's Son.
He is my savior, Jesus the man from Galilee
if your faith is strong, He will be easy to see.
What is it that gets wetter the more it dries
it could be anything that you see with eyes.
Evil lies, goodness dies, causing a thousand cries
starry eyed I look to the skies as the angel flies.
It goes in dry and comes out wet
the longer it stands the stronger it gets.
Water in the cup turns to tea, the bag steeps
hotter the better with sugar by the heaps.
What goes up a chimney down
but can't go down a chimney up.
It can be used as a prop for a clown
or to cover yourself or your pup.
Raining again, grab the umbrella
'cause this is the day I met my Cinderella.
A Father and a Son on a motor bike accident
the Father is taken to the West end hospital
and the Son is taken to the East end hospital.
The Doctor there goes to operate on the Son
until the Doctor says " I can't do it, it's my Son."
The E.R. is full with this, that and the other
Chief of Staff today is Dr. Mother.
The man that made it, never used it
and the man that used it, never seen it.
He made a system of raised dots, Louis Braille
so the man who lost his sight could stay on the trail.
The only thing that will constantly go up never to come down
it has never been in the sky or even under the ground.
While young birthdays are fun, but always adding more age
no one gets younger, clock never stops, we all turn the page.
There is an inability
to see prime colors properly.
This malady may cause tension
requiring medical intervention.
Is it green or is it red,
frustration swirling in your head.
Might be yellow or could be blue,
I know you wish you knew.
Typically affecting men they say
viewing life in shades of gray.
There is no total cure out there
just special glasses you can wear.
The good news is you'll be alright
not endowed with perfect sight.
If you suspect you may have this,
contact an ophthalmologist.
Color Blindness contest
(This is Fiction)
There are usually a lot of things I should’ve done,
yet, this very moment, I’m thinking of just one.
I should’ve sent a check to pay the electric bill;
I could’ve seen the spider perched on the windowsill.
I couldn’t turn the light on, the room was hot ‘n stuffy.
Now, my poor, bitten hand is red, painful and puffy.
Nightmares, shame, and despair---
You don't go anywhere.
All alone in your mind
even with someone by your side.
You think, "Why can't everyone just leave me alone?"
You thought the hint would be cutting off the phone.
But everyone wants you to release your cares.
The next thing you do is frown and ask, "Where?"
Stinkin' thinkin' is what your mom calls it.
Bad thoughts falling down a bottomless pit.
You wake up hoping those feelings disappear;
but, as usual they end up going nowhere.
You can't seem to get rid of the pain
and in your heart an eternal rain.
No one really knows how you feel
and you have friends that always ask, "What the deal?"
But tomorrow always comes.
Bad days for you, but good for some.
Disparaging words flow in and out of your head.
You're alive but you're living like you're dead!
They're like cobwebs in your mind
that you can't seen to bind.
The hurt is always there
which has always been your fear.
You don't see the destruction your thoughts have created.
Yet relationships were destroyed with the people you've dated.
You allowed your pain to take away time.
Your anger towards others has become the real crime.
It all boils down to that one thing in your past.
A terrible time that from your mind you've yet to cast.
The pain from the physical and spiritual rape
that rolled around in your head like an old videotape.
The abuser was like a father to you
and when it first happened there was nothing you could do.
You felt trapped like you could go nowhere.
His power over you was to instill that fear.
The "fear" is what's wrong
and you must discover another heart song.
Up to this point life hasn't been the best.
Maybe letting go of this is the next test.
There has always been someone that has loved you.
Someone who is capable of taking you through.
He's a Friend that sticks closer than a brother,
Jesus--- a Savior like no other!
If you don't give it to Him so you can thrive
you will plummet to the depths and never survive.
Throw my soul in darkest place
Switch my body and my face
Make me rat and bring me pain
Change the way I see the rain
Kill my will to fight for life
Take me with your bloody knife!
I have this desire
To write and inspire.
But would the world open its ears and listen
When most of my life has already been written?
What about my life could possibly be said
To make it worthy of being read?
Sexually abused by a family friend,
These were dark times that seemed to have no end.
Raped and verbally abused,
This was a life I didn’t choose.
As a third grader I was obsessed with my mortality.
My mother had a severe hoarding tendency.
My father was physically there, but emotionally absent.
I possessed a strong fear of peer judgment.
Drugs and alcohol littered my street.
Strangers became the only people I’d meet.
I saw men bleed until their last breath.
I’ve felt the sting of a premature death.
I saw evil on a daily basis.
I became just a number in a social worker’s cases.
I feared I’d be called a liar.
It was a constant battle to keep my head held higher.
The stories of my life could fill a book,
But would anyone bother to take a look?
Why do I hurt so much? Shouldn’t I just be able to move on?
She had no problem finding a new dawn.
I guess she’s had more time to grieve,
And all I seem to do is show up, then pack, and leave.
I am in a whirlwind a downfall of sorrow and pain,
I can’t seem to drive the anger away and I feel insane.
I have never felt so hopeless and lost,
Not knowing which way to turn, yet I keep getting tossed.
It seems that my heart has been ripped from my soul,
And yet I know that I caused this giant hell hole.
The inevitable came way too fast,
Like a plane flaming from the sky to the grass.
I can’t blame her for wanting to find happiness in a fresh face,
I just wish that she could see us at a new starting place.
Forget the past it is unchangeable of the wrongs or the rights,
Everyone has their time of glory and their fights.
My mind and soul can’t get past the thought of him and you,
Even if it is just a time of get to know and see if you want to pursue.
This just confirms what my mind knew and heart did not want to accept,
This reality that we are through, guess it’s time to take that next step
Rhoda gave me a gift
She gave my spirit a lift
But at her hurt or dismay
This act came into play
Rhoda gave me membership
As she was leaving the ship
I do not know why she left
She said it was complicated I'm bereft
My gain and her loss
A gift at a great cost
Oh! I wish I could spell “weirdo”! It really bothers me.
Is it the “e” before the “i”, or the “i” before the “e”?
Now, if it was a German word, I wouldn’t have to try.
I know “ie” is always eee, and “ei”’s always eye.
It doesn’t have a Latin root, so that rule won’t apply …
It really has no hook at all that I can grab it by.
Yes! It’s good old Anglo-Saxon, full of grunts and mangled vowels.
They didn’t have to write it- they’d communicate with scowls.
No! I really can’t spell “weirdo”! Not to write, or speak, or sing …
So the only answer I can find is ... don’t use the bloomin’ thing!
This problem cropped up when I wrote"Mum's Advice Ignored" ...
I'm usually quite a good speller!
Entered in Susan Burch's contest, "Ridiculous Self- exaggerations"
The thought that hardens thoughts
perhaps a feeling from inward wrought
men losing heart to think
when she pass no desire to blink
is it that she is fair
the entraping darkness of her hair
describes my soul in ways
the emptiness and infinate haze
could she ease this feeling
if only by her heart revealing
or by her fair smile
that can draw out my pain a while
Can I hold your body
tightly held will make a melody
as harpists play I weap
hoping love into your essence seeps
and from liquor stained tears
your heart will know well my deepest fear
being here without you
love or lust to you I shall be true
and with my eyes teary
my whole body poisoned and dreary
but when your in my arms
I love you loving my heart, my charm
Watch, as the carousel goes round and round
Watch, as the children jump up and down
Innocence is theirs, punishment is ours
Life is a lesson, enjoy these short hours
When you’re in the streets waiting for your day to die
Watch and remember as the children run by.
For they run and play as it was any other day
Hopeful and dreamful, feeling joyful and gay.
Asking questions can get you far
Nevertheless, can’t answering those questions get you further?
A ditch along you path to adulthood,
The prevention of a taught ketchup sachet
Inquisitive, knowledgeable minds?
Real off lists of special features demanded
For a great mind,
Like the unknown animal rights protestor
Who just saved an innocent living life?
The degree to which avoiding your struggles are essential?
Why not fall; you shall experience the consequence,
Alternatively, is naivety the achievement of greatness?
Finding the cure for cancer,
Rather than seeing its label – knowing its ingredients
Either, possibly could determine a great mind?
Thinking and a response of planning an image and processing physically
Maturity beyond your years
An enchanting sunset that you capture the youth of…
Before it travels silently to the other four corners of the world.
Black and White, colour, diversity of belief,
Opinion, well known to all is the significance of personal view,
Thus expansion of knowledge leading to the engagement of opinion.
Diversity in a cultural sense all coded in a great mind,
Who…invented a ‘great mind’?
Relatively the faith we have in one another that the world economy won’t collapse.
Everyone can wake up tomorrow as a developed race
Who can be the judge to say what is great when all humanity wants the same,
The thinker in us all,
A soldier whose adrenalin crushes through their bodies as children scream, and blood is abused as
a sign of a victor.
A great mind, is daunting and powerful beyond ones control.
The thought of such depth and meaning, proving impossible for others to merely comprehend –
Even be a reason for a ‘great mind’?
Like to get rabies.
That's the way babies rock.
Like nice highlighters.
That's the way Writers rock.
I passed thru a green light while driving today
Only to have verbal abuse thrown my way.
It seems that for the gal in the car that was turning
I made her blood boil and words from her lips came burning.
She felt that she should have had the privilege of first to go
Even though that's not the "Rule of the Road".
So, she shot a vulgar remark to me from her mouth
Which I returned in kind while still going south.
I wouldn't have said it had she not gotten me mad
Then thinking it over, I felt very bad.
We were BOTH wrong to say what we did
But after it's said, you can't put on the lid.
There's so much of that going on today
"I needs to go first", that's what they say.
So instead of allowing someone else to go thru
They block an intersection as they often do.
I guess she thought I was doing it too
But my light was green and the cars moved on thru.
Its seems as if "Common Courtesy" is gone today
I really don't know what else to say.
Except that I took affront at her comment to me
Next time, I'll have to use more charity.
We were like the sun in the month of May
Now we're like June, with the sun gone astray
Like Ice on a July mornin
Now, we don't belong
We were like sand on the beach; so cleansing & smoothe
But now we're like the shore, that's washed away
We used to be sunshine on a cloudy day
Now we're like the clouds,
Gloomy & gray
We used to connect on so many different levels
But now, we're so far apart, there's no reception
Now we can't talk
We have no connection
Our bond was so strong it could not be broken
Now it's broken down with words unspoken
We used to finish eachother's sentences, but
Now we speak a different language
We used to care about eachother,but
Now we care about ourselves
We used to get eachother,but
Now we get tired
We used to work things out,but
Now we're both fired
Used to be in our own world,but
Now we're on different planets
Used to share a mind,but
Now,our thoughts are hard to find
We used to know eachother so very well,but
Now we're strangers
We used to be joined at the hip,but
Now we're a thousand feet away
No force could pull us apart
Now a driving force has separated our conjoined heart.
I was going to script anything I had,
To try so hard that it was not a, "Not Bad",
And do a bit of a this kind of work,
Oh, I got lost...what a dork!
So, I shall nod if this won't win,
I'll probably cry, and try again.
Shuffle, plod and now
I moo in the obedient line of cows
Hack, slash and cry
Concealed I stare blank down and sigh
Shovel, bend and pack
The meat cold slides now off my back
Eyes, ears and nose
Master seems to not need those
Revolt, stalk and stand
Burn through control the dirty brand
Whittle, shave and douse
The Cow in me supports the House
THE MIST LIES STILL
The morning mist slipped into the park
As easily as a lie told in the dark.
Grey and seemingly harmless,
A little cold, but still and featureless,
Obscuring all the trees, the paths, the lake,
Confusing distance and direction to take,
It hid the truth, it hid the view:
Distorted everything we knew.
Put your ‘best foot forward,’
But which foot is the best?
‘Put your shoulder to the pump’,
What pump? I’ am getting dressed.
‘Shake a leg now, come on.’
Shake my leg how? I find it is fixed on.
‘Wind your neck in.’
Now what is that all about?
‘The washing line is full’
But there is no washing out!
Oh life is confusing, I wish I understood
All these crazy sayings, but I really am no good,
I may not be the brightest light, set upon the tree,
My head is made of wood or that’s what they all tell me
But when I decide to flash, I make sure it’s really bright
Because when I am a flasher, I can give them all a fright.
I was once a little train, sitting by the track,
Listening to the freight yard’s roar and all the rushing clack
When one day came steaming by an engine large and brave
My heart did a quiver leap, my wheels a twitter gave
Every day when passing by, the more our friendship grew
With each fleeting whistle blast, and more each time it blew
Then one day in passing, upon his track I went
Joyfully to meet him, from wither he was sent
Blasting from the distance, an airy cloud of steam
I rushed forth to meet him, the engine of my dream
Then with shock and wonder, my joy was gone alack!
For though we both were meeting, he wasn’t on my track
Off into the distance, he chugged and puffed away
Sweeping with him pieces of my broken heart that day
Often now I wonder, will he come anon?
Or was this a chance meeting, and now again he’s gone?
The tracks of life are tangled, in the freight yard of our race
We meet other engines that hold both heart and place
How to live? I wonder, when through our lives there sail
Many other engines, that aren’t upon our rail
Will we grow quite bitter, when those meetings on the tracks
Seem to mock the aching heart for all the love it lacks?
May each little engine take heed to what I bade
This life below is scattered, with meetings on the grade
Take each passing whistle not as one of gloom
Pushing back the others, and making itself room
I will always cherish, that engine bold and brave
Remembering now with fondness, the joy to me he gave
But now into the distance, I hear upon the breeze
That fleeting cry of freedom, upon which my heart did seize
Once every while, I gaze sadly down his track
But in my little engine heart, he’s never coming back
And so I hold those memories close, and never do I fail
For God had a reason for our meeting on the rail
I see myself falling faster still, slowly losing all of my will.
I've come to know I am estranged, as some might call it 'being deranged'.
I see myself in a different way, in the mirror every day.
I watch myself smile but hear me say, that it has been a terrible day.
Some would say inside I'm dead, but its emotions overlapping inside my head.
I feel alone almost every day, even though people around me stay.
I can feel that I am weak, even more when I speak.
A voice barely audible to the people, a voice God couldn't even hear at the steeple.
I stay behind the group, because I fear being caught in the loop.
I hate the people that I know, and have this anger with nowhere to go.
The future that I may come to face, makes me fear what I know as my place.
A pathetic person in a shell, which cannot show the truth too well.
Be alive - or should die?
Live with love? I will try!
Voices, anger, even fear
Challenging what's dear
Fear Lord; saved by grace
Something demons can not face
To be so lost - what's the plan?
Not a self-righteous man!
Even though under test
Praise Lord; do my best!
Magnolia blossoms creamy white dappled with gray
Sway the day from foggy veil sprinkled across way
The contrast creamy white against waxy green leaves
Adds beauty brightening life upon summer's humid eve
Unfinished and may never be finished...
Trying to do Hexameter:
Twelve syllables per line with it reading unstressed/ stressed...
Very difficult to have to look up every word since I would not pronounce these
words like they are suppose to be accented..
I always wondered when I was young why everything came in THREEs;
Is there anyone out there that knows, please lend me your expertise;
“Goldilocks and the THREE Bears“ or perhaps “The THREE Little Pigs”,
Does anyone yet know the cause, I don’t mean to be a Prig;
How about getting THREE wishes from Genie when the lamp is rubbed,
Or “The THREE Blind Mice“, And rub a dub dub, THREE men in the tub;
Or the “THREE Billy Goats Gruff“, And Cerberus the THREE Headed Dog,
Or “The THREE Musketeers” or “The THREE Amigos”, It puts my mind in a bog;
So many different stories that include the number THREE,
Is there anyone out there now that disagrees with me;
That wonderful magical number has infected every aspect of time,
Maybe the biggest reason is that THREE is so easy to rhyme!
Not that I would
Actually run away.
Not that I would
Even think that way.
But knowing that I can
If I need to be
Having just the liberty
Essentially to be free,
Makes my heart wonder
Where I would go?
Just to stay sane now
I really need to know.
What about you...
What about me...
We are not making a poetry family.
Why are we breaking up?
You don’t fit the score anymore.
This is just a letter of confirmation.
Our contests state the truth.
We are Soupers of true, which works for me; however, why not you?
We are breaking up from a mental disaster.
Might just make this that much better as Soupers together!
Penned on JUNE 11, 2014!
I see the picture on the wall
It is not me, if I recall
the children seem to think its me
for they confuse the facts they see
the picture seems to be a man
with youth his avid loving fan
why should a man consume the space
that's not of kin inside my place
my servants dust and clean the frame
and often call him by my name
I lived a life of sorrow and pain
No rest for the weak, no hope of gain
A trapped soul and broken heart
A lack of love from the start
A spark of hope hastily smothered
A glimpse of light quickly covered
No choice in life but to cower in fear
Forced to sit and drown in my tears
"Don't make a sound and don't talk back
Do what you're told. Don't give us flack!"
I sink deeper in a pit of despair
I cry inside, "this isn't fair!"
Then water couldn't dowse, sand couldn't smother
A certain spark of truth in another
When the truth came out and the culprit was caught
We finally let go of the lies we were taught
I escaped a life of lies and deceit
Now it's up to me to stand on my feet
Now I start over... let go of the past
A new life is mine... the old, outcast
Now I smile as joy floods my soul
I know happiness now and my life feels whole
I've let go of my past. It's over and done
But my future is bright like the shinning sun
Our mind shall perceive in color; not words
Like the light of judgment.
Our tongue is the destiny of a generation,
ignorant of redemption
Our blindness is but one man’s minor downfall
Our chair, the chair of thousands
Our fingers touch the crevices of despair
Yet we know not what love is
And suicide still distant from our walk.
The paint on our wall has been melting for weeks now,
Our ghost holds the answers
Of dust-filled passages
Our mind shall rip threads from this burning existence
And tie them into yours
This lamp shines no light on our pillow,
If only we could get to sleep when it’s dark
Colors we see of unforeseen enemy
Haunting our dreams, transforming nightmare into reality.
Blood is all over the place,
On my legs, my arms, my face.
Cut more! Do I dare?
Blood I've lost too much thats true,
Look at me don't forget me, I won't forget you.
Noodle dinner, Italian restaurant
we leave half the food on the plate.
I'm not full but I want to leave
I say, "I'm tired and it's late."
A new ex-boyfriend, another one
learning about your encounters.
"What are you thinking?" I smile
Unsure, the fork twirls leftovers.
Carryout box, unfinished meal
resolved to say all later.
Bruno's, amazing as ever!
Though the talk isn't served by the waiter.
The tears flow down my face never ending.
There's no one around so I can stop pretending.
I don't want to try,
I just want to die.
Alone, depressed its all true.
How could I be hurt so much by you?
You meant so much to me but you have killed me.
Without you I could be free.
Thats not what I want, I want us to be together.
Mental I am locked up again.
Crazy with thoughts blessed being a man.
As the storms brew through the sun shine.
Sanity will come in this life of mine.
Stop right there before you die,
I throw away the knife and cry.
Living hurts too much I don't want to live.
I can no longer forget or forgive.
No! This has become out of hand.
The knife is now banned.
Please save me.
Don't be deaf to my plea.
Don't let me do it.
Hold my hand and guide me through it.
Scars, on my skin,
Why did I let him in.
Look at me why do I do this,
I need a conversation, a hug, a kiss.
Unloved and dejected,
Bleeding and infected.
A feeling in my gut,
I don't want to stop, I want to cut.
Covered in blood, I rise.
I think of excuses.Lies!
I'm not ashamed and I'm not scared
Left ear, right ear,
Now It's in your mind
Boom like lightning,
Mountains fiercely grind
Clouds gloom rolling,
Giants in the sky.
Storm gazes down,
Brightly glowing eye.
Angry seas swell,
Tsunami's crash down,
Silence is the sound.
Glance to the stars,
The moon calmly bright
Reach to the skies,
Your hand starts to write.
A Dragon meets a Doe in the woods, intending to kill
The Doe asks the Dragon “if you kill me, what would be the thrill?”
Consumed with rage the Dragon responded, "I’m mighty and you’re weak"
The Doe queried “how can you consider yourself powerful when you feed on the meek?”
Angrier still the Dragon roared “I’m the master my environment and I decide fate!”
The Doe answered calmly “you seem to be consumed by fear and hate.”
“Hate you have right but fear is ridiculous, I fear nothing!”
“That’s impossible, hate’s in all of us as is fear, it’s all part of being.”
The Dragon bellowed “I’m above all, I destroy, I consume!”
“Yet we all start from the same place, we all come from a womb.”
“What’s your point? I grew into something stronger!”
The Doe looked off into the distance “If the strong helped the weak, we’d all survive longer…”
The Dragon incinerated the Doe and flew off with the carcass, perpetuating the cycle of what do we die for?
She's a woman, he's a man
He likes sex and she likes fame.
Devil's voice is over them
Shouting hard: "I love the MAN"
Moonlight comes switching the ends
He's a woman, she's a man.
God all mighty goes to sleep
Devil comes and eats the chick
Man is sad, he wants revenge,
Moonlight comes switching the ends
He's a wolf, devil's a man,
Moonlight hides, they fight till end
The wolf ate the man at noon
And roared for hours at the moon!
Keep inventing, strive for more
Create past the point of boredom, it's all from the core
The great wall, a human invention, can be seen from space
An ancient civilization made that impact, why stop striving for the stars if that's the case?
A message to the mad, a message to the sane
We must work together to continue, that much is plain
Wonder why? Wonder Why not?
Stay in that place, stay there to rot
Indecision claims too many lives
Indecision nullifies what it means to be alive
Think about how to grow
Think about the right way to go
Act upon it before it becomes surreal
Trust your heart, truly listen to how you feel
Sending my soul
To the dark abyss
My store of strength is
I dare not try
To touch the obelisk
The substrate of my soul
Is dark, and small, and
Still. It folds
Into the darkness of
Gone….not a trace.
Forget me memories, for you are unkind.
You simply won't let him escape my mind.
I still love him, but not enough to let it show;
I remember, it was over a year ago.
Coming up those stairs, his smile was so kissable-
From then on I knew my heart was takeable.
He sat on his favorite chair, dazed and wide-eyed,
Then at the park, he glanced at me, and sighed.
He fixed his gaze and swiped the smile right off my face;
He kissed me just once before a heartless girl was replaced.
Though almost silent, he could excite me, in a way...
He found me and fell in love with me that day.
Forget me memories, for you make me recollect.
I can't seem to lock away a secret.
I continue to convince myself to let go...
I cannot understand why I lie to myself though...
I can't see you, but I know you are there.
I can't touch you, but I feel your strong air.
Although, I do wonder how good you would taste.
I fear disappointment and my time I won't waste.
Now I can hear you, and it's all became real.
Yet, I will not tell you the way that I feel.
I like it for now and that's all I will say.
A wraith becomes real and my mind gets to play.
dot dot dot
you love me, you love me not
yeah i get it, we are kids
life is kind of like mad libs
but i just can't stand this all
my life with you has finally completed the fall
i want to be your friend
but the relationship part, has come to an end
if you still like me that way
then there is nothing else to say
i will have to leave your life
this too will cut me like a knife
but until you are over me
i will have to watch and see
so i'm sorry but please make up your mind
while all my thoughts i try to find
dot dot dot
i was in your life, maybe now i'm not
Life, O how it means so little any more,
My heart was made of steel and the maker made no door,
How is it that my soul once seamed to sore,
But now the pain seeps through while leaving a pool upon the floor,
Nothing makes sense and I feel so confused,
She's left me alone, my spirit's been beaten and used,
But there's a cruel smile that crosses her face,
Like the darkest angel with some unquinchable taste,
A taste for a life that seams just out of reach,
So I'm left here alone with nothing to learn or no one to teach..
My life is like that of an Escher
Shades of life change with the pressure
His lines all straight of lead and chalk
But he dare not walk where I have walked
My lord my God what should I do
My life has not been straight and true
If I could draw my life in pencil
It would be free hand I would use no stencil
I just wish life came with an eraser
Alas! I know why
A demon's supossed to cry
Couldn't look heaven
Or God in the eye
Too many times of asking "Why!"
Tainted Oilman Hayward, geologist-in-chief
Oddly opined amidst deep misery and grief
He said the oil spill would have a modest impact
Did not want the “small people” to over-react
Yachtsman saw a “tiny” leak in the “big ocean”
Wanted to stop the oil spill, without commotion
Did not grasp the urgency of the Gulf Coast plight
Until the president said you will “make it right”
Then, he agreed the spill caused “massive disruption”
Touched his own life, with a massive interruption
Frustrated Hayward said he wanted his life back
While oil spill victims tried to keep their lives on track
His self-serving words invoked disbelief and wrath
Spread swiftly and portended his demotion path
After facing lawmakers on Capitol Hill
Hayward flew to London for a yacht racing thrill
Gulf Coast residents became extremely upset
They could not relax while the oil was still a threat!
Rebuked and scorned in each befuddled Gulf Coast town
The embattled yachtsman was ordered to stand down
Hayward got his life back, in a timely fashion--
More free days to pursue his yacht racing passion
Roses are red violets are blue
Boys can’t love boys they say, but I love you
I think your poetry is beautiful and charming
And your handsome face is so disarming
You can dactyl my pentameter any day
For my syllables throb though my poem is gay
. . . . . .. . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Written by Sydney Peck
Entered in Michael J. Falotico’s Contest "Passing a Love Note"
concentration has a deadly flaw
distraction brands our subterfuge
prescription drugs just lead to more
sedation erasing sacred lucid truth
pick the sharp double edged sword
ultimately understanding the point
simply to focus on nothing stored
tempered blade by displaced taunt
keep eyes open for just one more day
keep heart alive heed deaths blood drain
keep from floating adrift along the way focus sane and consciousness maintain
© Kim van Breda—June 2014
Welcome to planet of moron
Don't think head is screwed on!
Thinking one is truly wise
So much for having any ties!
Thinking one's so cool
But is only the fool
So somehow turn one's life around
Or else they are just hell-bound!
Writing to soothe a broken heart,
Typing it out part by part.
Life will continue to be
As I try to hear what God’s telling me.
Trying to grasp the meaning of life
While trying to be the best kind of wife.
Raise your kids and do what’s right,
And don’t forget to turn out the light.
Brush your teeth and say your prayers,
Don’t forget to push in those chairs.
Honor your mother and your father,
And try not to be too much of a bother.
By doing the best that I can
I’m coming up with my own plan.
As I type it part by part,
I’m learning to listen to my own heart.
There's a new law being passed in our state
Which our politicians think is just great.
It has to do with the process of election
To me, it is a process for ejection.
The law will be that in each election we've got
All offices on ballots must be voted, whether you like it or not.
The election judge must stop each one
To advise them they must vote for someone.
As a judge of election I can see
Nothing but problems with this idiocy.
For if a voter doesn't like any candidate
He can't just leave a blank mark on his slate.
It's a silly law that they have made
So more of their lazy butts can make the grade.
For some will be elected because there must be a vote
And we judges must make sure the voter puts in a tote.
It will cause more confusion and questions on voting day
The voters will have a few choice words to say.
I don't know what was going through their heads
Except that this law will provide them with their daily bread.
Because some will be elected...worthy or not
Just because there has to be a mark on the ballot.
Poor political egos being bruised by voter indifference
Too bad they can't remember Payne's words..."Common Sense".
Watch away the seconds, the hands of time
Whether its a life of glamour or a life of grime
minutes make hours and hours make days
Good thing Bad thing the memory stays
The life you lead is through your own choice
dont be controlled stand up and have a voice
Bad life is hatred, a gaping big hole
we are all human just bricks in a wall
the more bricks you use the higher they tower
As the bricks increace so does the power
Truth is false, hope is gone
The land of the weak dominated by the strong
Another worl leader another bomb drops
being raised as a boy in a bubble but now the bubble pops
If the message is there to help then why is it so subliminal
If crime never pays then why is there so many criminals
This country is strong, protected by political fear
If the world is such a dangerous place, how much longer are we here
An open street, an empty night, a slight hum of the wind.
Yet darling is cluttered, and jumbled, and feeling fractured deep within.
The eyes gaze with a smile but turn away with a frown
Such an eloquent style as the pedals fall down.
The dance of the piano, and the hand on your cheek.
Such an eerie cold whisper as your hearts feeling bleak
The air fragranced green and gold and the darling off course.
The water is uncalm and the smile is forced.
The skin changes shades and the warm turns to raw.
This most horrifying scene was the darlings last straw.
The tuberose and lillys create a mood ever sweet.
The tires stop turning but darling cant move her feet.
The crowd starts to murmur uneasy and wait for her face.
Its just so topsy turvy she needs out of this place.
She stands for an hour holding red rose in hand.
She throws it in after him, but does not understand.
She feels angels and demons climbing straight up her back.
For a spot on her shoulder and for vision in black.
She screams and she smiles no one knows how she feels.
Poor darling's a mystery but her story is real.
You'd never know it if you saw her, her rays shining bright.
But deep down sweet sweet darling, she has never been alright.
Down on my knees praying to you
My heart now broken, the world is askew
I am sad and confused and tears fill my eyes
As I watch the news I’m beginning to despise
I hear nothing of good only of evil
I fear our world is in major upheaval
When four little babies six, four, two and one
Found in such filth, damage has been done
Imagine their life where love comes from drugs
With only cold hard facts and no lovely snuggs.
No bed to sleep in , no comfort to be found
Sleeping in a closet with feces all around
How can a mother let her babies be abused
In such a sad, sad manner, this can’t be excused.
My heart is so heavy and totally confused
How could you let these babies be so misused.
I pray to you Jesus, I pray every day
That this evil I see will all go away.
Yet continue the murders, the abuse and the crime
I’m beginning to think we are about out of time.
Do you hear me Lord Jesus, do you hear what I say
Our world is now crazy and full of decay.
I need you Lord Jesus, and others need you to
To fight this evil that is steering them from you.
So give us your strength to guide us in peace
For this evil we see has got to cease.
Lord Jesus I pray, I pray to you today
Lift up our spirits and help us find a way.
Surrounded by madness, engulfed in it's grip;
Through the door of insanity, sometimes we all slip.
A world filled with darkness, a bottomless pit.
Chaos and destruction, no one gives a spit.
Hatred and anger, well up deep within;
And nothing else matters, everything seems a sin.
No hope in my eyes, my faith has long went.
My reason for living, like my energy, well spent.
Somewhere at the bottom, i reach out a hand;
Hoping against all, on a kind heart it lands.
My world has all crumbled, there seems no way out.
Every move i make falters, i can't help but shout.
My night's filled with worry, my day's filled with dread.
My faith has long left me, i just want to be dead.
Somewhere in the darkness, reality strikes hard.
The pain is unbearable, i want to blow my brains 'cross the yard!
I reach out for faith, and reach out for love;
But darkness besets me, where's my God up above?
No one seems to love me, no one seems to care.
The whole world is my burden, alone, not to share.
The light shines no longer, I'm at the end of my rope;
Send me help, my God, quickly, or i won't be able to cope.
All i know now is pain, a great darkness inside.
So much anger and chaos, and nowhere to hide.
What's left of my life? Why should i keep trying?
The pain inside hurts so, all i think about is dying!
Once there was a man that thought he could write.
Within his mind, he wavered a terrible fight.
Only he knew; weathered writes that could define.
Not of madness or failure or even that of wine,
He studied persons that flowed around his state.
Not criticizing or judging, learning from the wait.
His thoughts and words sometimes thought raw.
His mind hiding secrets though never to fall,
His findings revealed; a secret everyone held.
Without a secret, no life would be compelled.
Each human has a Devil and Angel that hides.
Which one wins the battle to which all confides?
When the words fly outward from within his soul,
Holding reprimands of dysfunction without any goal.
Was he a writer, poet, philosopher not so trite.
What feelings drove him in his positioned flight?
His mind wondered in and out of existence defined.
Within his mind, he wavered a terrible fight combined.
Hmm this thing is very confusing
But at the same time it is amusing
This thing here I can't comprehend
Will this nerve racking thing ever end?!!
Oh! Now I understand it all
It is nothing but a cold, brick wall
I don't understand why I thought it was hard
It's just as dumb as a bucket of lard!
Hey what's this thing in front of me?
Is it a bird, a plane, a bee?
Poems Become Splendid
Reading my impressive poems and what you might do
Is send me an elegant comment after you view
After each one you have tried to select;
Give me thoughts and ideas and ways to correct.
Search through my poems than try to behoove,
Style and way which I write, I can improve;
You can either be macro-viewed or specific;
Then I can make each poem become terrific.
No one's feelinings would I ever want to hurt;
Like when wife hated my dirty, well-worn shirt;
After further thinking, my poem I have ended;
Tell me how I can make my poem become splendid.
PS. Feelinings are for those who are ninnies.
Of which I'm sure there may be many's.
Wow, an artistic poet. How about that?
James Thomas Horn
Everyone these days? So sexual
Ever stop for a day and think? Be an intellectual?
People need to quit bein cuddy buddys
Thats why your relationships sink like its muddy
Enough bars to climb over the stars
Enough curses to ride to hell in my car
Hopefully one day i'll eventually make it big
People need to stop pulling my heart like a rig
People will never understand or realize
What i can see and tell with my real eyes
Stepping in the bathroom,
With a razor in you hand,
Your about to meet your doom,
As you have it planned.
You better lock the door,
So that no one can walk in,
During the act of slitting your skin.
Committing your suicide,
Should be a simple mission,
But coming to find out,
Do you give yourself permission?
Sitting and thinking,
As the tub fills up with water,
You're about to particpate in the act of self slaughter
Now accepting the fact that your happiness is gone,
You put away the tool, because it is time to move on...
Trying to figure out this way that I feel
I'm a dark banana; whole world is my peel.
Sunshine without light, my soul is heavy
More clouds and tears of rain, break my minds levee.
I'm always in darkness- most of the time down
The guy who always laughed wears only a frown.
If I could peel away this shell of disgust
Blow away these dark clouds of hate and mistrust.
This layer of skin that sheds so easily
Goes away designed, not to end pleasingly.
Locked in a Cage
I Have been locked in this cage..
I am going crazy - up in a rage..
They should of put me - in a padded cell..
My knuckles are bleeding - all to hell..
Feraously mad - I have lost all control..
My mind went bent - then my soul, went into a hole..
When they came - to lock me up..
I begged them - to put on, the hand cuffs..
My best friend is gone, Ended her life
Turned around and she cut herself with a knife
Body lain, Soaked in blood in the bathroom tub
Why did she have to join the suicide club?
Kassidy's gone, I dont know what to do
My other friend Savannah, Im pretty sure she's gone too
Got a knife, got depressed, and cut her vein
Why is this happenin? Girll you were my main!
Left me all alone just to bite the dust,
God d*mn this f*ck*n life's a bust
Cheated on everytime left and right,
Can't one girl be faithful for a night?
Haha my friend has a british accent, so cute
You have a gun? Point it at me.Click, Shoot
In December i really hope this world will end,
Because of everything my heart has too many hole to mend.
On a minute to minute basis,
I hope to find a new oasis.
I'm wrestling with my demons,
Because they're always scheming.
Now this bad feeling comes over me.
Zaps all of my fun and energy.
No spring, no recoil, or elastic.
Don't do something that could be drastic.
Right now I feel like a miniscule speck.
My life seems it's closer to a train wreck.
Down most of the time, just won't rise above.
You can't always save what you truly love.
I'm not the kind to act dramatic.
Don't do something considered drastic.
What's happened to me? Well- I'm sick you see.
What to do for now? Cease the blues somehow.
Reach out and give someone a call.
Before you take that giant fall.
Take my mind off these thoughts so tragic.
Don't tempt me or think I'm sarcastic.
All I really want is, a big, long hug.
Is that so bad? Love conquer this thug.
The time has surely truly come
That I am tired of being numb.
The days of being in constant pain
My life seems to be going down the drain.
I am still quite heartbroken
And some things can't be spoken.
But 5 years have already gone by
And today I heaved a weary sigh.
I can no longer stay this way
Just going through with my day.
I have been on a ledge
Standing there on that edge.
Looking over and down
Upon my face is a frown.
I turn around and then look up
That she is a tough climb, yup.
But I reach up and begin to climb
As I know it has come to that time.
Time to either wither and die
Or time to show life I can defy.
New places are meant for me.
A new woman you shall see.
Oh do not get me wrong
I have days I am not strong.
But I promise to not be so withdrawn
As I know my life is not foregone.
I want to be someone my kids can be proud of
Someone they know that will always give love.
For them being gone was never my choice
That in this instance my opinion had no voice.
But one day soon they will come to find me
I want it to be day of great joy and glee.
For they will see that pain did bring me to my knees
But that I got up and moved and refused to freeze.
I did not die from all this pain
But one day will I be able reign?
Who is to really know?
Just cannot stand another woe.
around and around and around it all spins
this vortex of you that tries to suck me in
I think that I've managed some damage control
yesterday's paper rocks all that I know
I think that its gone and buried real deep
then here and now it's at the top of the heap
I start to falter and so does my faith
I realize I'm slipping and in dire straights
I write with anger trying to get it all out
over five hundred days of dissension and doubt
you do not read me and no longer subscribe
nothing is sacred and none of it jives
I won't speak the words I wanted you to say
I scrawl them in crimson the same ole cliche
West rises the sun and bleeds red across my sky
and sleepless I write in the dead of the night
There are days into the sea I step,
Ever mindful of its depth.
Against my shins the froth enchants,
til intrigue tugs me to advance.
While writhing weeds like serpents’ snare
climb in deceit my skin--yet fair--
Rarely do I tread chest high
and never has she scaled my eyes.
Ever mindful, submissive sigh
Most of the time my feet stay dry.
Staring from afar at her silent agony
She mouths out words of pain. He cannot set her free
The handcuffs pull relentless at her pale and fragile wrist
Though her own heart holds her prisoner, her face had beauty kissed
Sun spilled from Olympus, begged its' child to break her chains
And two colossal pewter eyes refused to dry the rain .
To shoulder twice her burden, be her oxygen would he;
one thousand lifetimes over, just to hear her screaming free
His tortured flower, five feet tall and forty feet away.
Took all his heart to swallow that today was not the day.
His friendship was the one I held dear.
He said he was the one I never had to fear.
The two years we were together before we were wed,
Were not so bad, truth be said.
Then one day out of the blue,
He was no longer the man I knew!
Our nights and days of wedded bliss,
Soon turned into hatred and a distained abyss.
His anger and cruel, nasty rage
Kept me wrapped in a fearful cage.
Each day and night kept me wrapped tight.
Fear of anything done or said, would soon end in a fight!
Too many stories and ruses,
To cover the many black eyes and numerous bruises.
I grew tired of telling so many lies,
To cover for all your abuses and give you your alibis.
I will no longer cover for you!
I am tired of being black and blue!
So many nights of terror and confusion.
Once what was love is now just an illusion.
So many many sins and uncare
Will never be forgotten! How unfair!
Now that love and friendship is lost.
It went from me at a great cost.
After numerous times of him landing in jail,
I have decided it is time for me to bail!
An act, I know, that just seems so unfair,
but right now I just don't care.
My sanity was at stake.
So for it how could I forsake?
Now a new love has entered my life.
Eradicating all that angst and strife.
Each day is precious and new,
There are still days that I am oh so blue.
Who knows where this new love will go?
Who's to say? I do not know.
For now, will take it one day at a time.
Who knew in a friend a lover I would find.
What if we are all in someone's dream
Reality non-existant, not as it seems
No plan, no God, no ruler supreme
Everything a vision of alternative theme
Envision all taught since young - misheard
Provision just wasted, Gods promise is absurd
Decision made - making history blurred
Derision, ridiculing His holy written word
Making, creating - it's all gone wrong
Society is impressionable - drifts along
Even though we speak different tongue
We understand in others dreams privacy belongs
Then came first light, the heavens begun
Inter stellar policemen patrolled the sun
Beseeching universal conformity
Harmonious peace treaties, uniformity
Paranormal delegates of astrology
Astronomical fusion, mythology
Breaching distant galactic borders
To restore misconceptions of order
Cosmopolitan senates hold candles
Of cosmic folklores and vandals
Here confined we are assigned duties
Designed to marvel at Venus’ beauty
Is the star called earth just as bright?
As the goddess’ reflection each starry night
Do we simply pale in comparison
Do we sour the face of oblivion?
Do they mourn for stars falling from skies?
Or wish for contentment at others demise
Do they value each yearning sensation?
Do they too dream of space exploration?
Do all beings look across galaxies?
Is over stepping boundaries a felony
Does everyone wish to learn more?
Is invasion considered an act of war?
Are they prepared to meet, do they have a speech
Like: “We mean you no harm. We come in peace”
Will I know their handshake before my doom?
Does Armageddon for everyone loom?
Will we be erased like solar eclipse?
Will our light be turned off from alien abyss?
Will knowing too little forever haunt
Till apocalypse comes and meteors daunt
Just fifteen years old, pregnant and all alone,
A child herself but in a family way as she checks the coin slot in another pay phone.
Homeless, hungry, all alone and terribly scared,
She just wanders the streets totally unprepared.
Her folks told her she was an absolute disgrace,
And how were they going to look their neighbors in the face?
With tears in her eyes and a broken heart she left not wanting to cause her parents pain,
A few clothes packed she heads out in the pouring rain.
She had been victimized and raped by someone her parents held dear,
She figured they would take his side and the only thing left was for her to just disappear.
Quickly she found out just how hard the streets would become,
And out here if you’re to make it you learn fast not to act dumb.
Shoplifting and panhandling was the only way this young girl had to survive,
And she didn’t know what to do cause in a short two months the baby would arrive.
But her luck was about to change with a young couple she was about to meet,
They were searching for someone like her and they were wealthy and sweet.
In exchange for her child they promised her, her education and a chance at a brand new start,
She knew she could never support the child and this was the way they should part.
On the day of the delivery the baby was taken away,
Not even knowing if it was a boy or a girl they were separated that day.
The couple honored their agreement and the young girl became an educated woman with wealth of her own,
And she uses that wealth to help others in dire needs returning to others the kindness she was shown.
Note: Isn't this a better alternative than abortion?
A man of con knows not of quality
A man of betrayal knows not of loyalty
a man of crime knows not of possession
a man of sacreligion knows not of confession
a man of lies knows not of true
a man of contradiction knows not of what to do
a man of great power knows not of concern
a man of great humility knows not which way to turn.
Why is this?
My sanity is at the tip of my tongue
if I could only remember how it went
I search my files and catalogs
but it's wasted energy spent
No useless knowledge of any sort
or witty comment made
no brilliant remark or clever retort
no sarcastic words to trade
No puns, no jokes or riddles
no intellectual interaction
Nothing in the entire world
will give me satisfaction
My mind divides now as it were
my new identities born
one who is too scared to share
the other one filled with scorn
And one pathetic whimperer
feeling sorry for herself
is crushed under the demoness
who says ther's nothing else
Too much conflict of myself
I can't sort it out
All these voices loudly screeching
In essence, I am doubt
Today there's something strange in the air
taking lives without a care.
Thoughts of suicide and death,
of inhaling one last breath.
Oh what a gloomy day
headed down a dark pathway.
So many faces dead and gone.
Will the world last to inhale another dawn?
Today I paint a smile upon my face
without an ounce or bit of faith.
I watch the world slipping away
as I debate whether or not I shall stay.
The reaper is present here,
bringing an end to all our cheer.
We begin to question our own fate,
but for all we know it may be too late.
Is this the end?
Will us and Death befriend?
Where will we go?
Is it like they always told us so?
Who do we turn to?
What should we do?
So many questions left unanswered.
So many words thought wise now altered.
What will come of the earth once we've died off?
Will everything just shut off?
Maybe our souls will still be here,
but left alone in darkness and pain so severe.
For now just listen up and behold
for we have come to the next threshold
where what's to come is but a mystery,
and you're allowed to bring nothing but your own misery.
The day for reckoning is quickly coming into it’s own,
One of the key players will be bound and sent to the lake of fire for the seeds that he has sown.
He’s looking to steal your soul so you best be on guard,
He said I know that I’ll get you, cause following those Commandments is just to, to hard.
He said I will make your life easy if you just follow me,
He said at least for awhile but by then it will be too late for you to see,
He said I’m the root of all evil, for evil I am,
But I’ll deceive you with lies, for I am the serpent not the Lamb.
He said I know my days they are numbered so I must work overtime,
I’m the root of all trouble, it was I that invented all crime.
I can make you happy while I lead you astray,
Why if you follow me there’ll be no more need for you to pray.
I’m a chameleon of sorts my true appearance I hide,
I’m a liar by choice, destruction and ruin I love and take all in stride.
Hades is not bad if you say it real fast,
So come join me, when into the lake of fire I am cast.
I wear a mask to hide my heart
This face in the mirror tares me apart.
I wear a mask to hide what others should not know
Without my mask I’d be forced to bare my soul.
I wear a mask because it is my shield
Without it everyone would know what I feel
I wear a mask to hide myself
I can’t let anyone know that I need help.
I wear a mask to hide my tears
I guess I hope it takes away my fears.
I wear a mask to hide my shame
And all of my self-blame.
I wear a mask to show everyone false inside
This way no one how much I cry.
I wear a mask to hide my heart
Maybe someday I can break this mask apart.
In the far off distance the cannons make their report,
As we huddle in groups to show our support.
Blindly attacked, all we can do is to try to hit back,
Hiding in light, it’s at night when we assume our attack.
Outnumbered and outgunned since the government took nearly every one,
They made it illegal for citizens to possess any type of gun.
But some held on and it was a good thing that they did,
As the enemy infiltrated our borders and shores we retrieved them from where they were hid.
There is no Geneva Convention, and no rules to this war,
Brutality and chaos have been our strongest weapon so far.
This was the way it was given to us, so reverse play is fair don’t you see,
They wanted to take our freedom but that is something you won’t take from me.
It was like a horror movie that night that seems so long ago,
In the middle of the night it started with no warning you know.
Loud noise and confusion as mortars and rifle fire entered our peaceful little town,
People running and screaming and for no reason being mercilessly shot down.
9-11 was just a testing of the waters to see how we would react,
As they put together their plan for this unholy attack.
Our country has been divided and our resources are few,
But we’ll fight to our death, that’s all that’s left for me and for you!
Need to send an S.O.S?
Why under so much stress?
Don't let the anxiety
Be king and get the best of me!
Don't mention fear and voices too
Almost too much for me to chew!
Is vulnerability my name?
Despicable symptoms seem the same!
Look for God with all your heart
True joy then will not impart!
It's been three and a half months since you left my side,
I'm still here, and I haven't died,
I still feel the emptiness you left in me.
I'm still deaf and I still can't see.
It hurts so much when I see you with him,
when I think to myself, what could have been?
I want you to know I’m leaving this place,
all because I'm alone, because you wanted space.
I'm sorry I love you and I still don't know why you cried,
I hurt myself with the thought of you, when you're not here, by my side.
I want you here with me, more than you know,
pain I try to hide, the pain you'll never know.
I swear to God, I'm not right in the head.
Too often I think I'd be better off dead.
I'm not trying to be selfish, it'd be better for you too,
if you didn't have to deal with me, and what I put you through.
They said it would get easier. Christ, they were wrong.
You’re still all I think about, all day long.
I'm really not mad at you.
You did what you had to do.
The blame lies on me, for asking too much of you.
All I want out of life is you by my side.
For that alone I live, and for that I’d die.
Now I know what heaven feels like,
and now I know, I'm still alive.
I should be feeling very great,
For I spent a weekend out of state.
I have come back feeling out of sorts,
Nothing that can be of any new reports.
I really needed the time away.
It was time for me for once to play.
I have way too much angst and strife,
It is all way to much for just one life.
I feel like my love I am losing.
A lot of feelings that are so confusing.
I came back with a mission,
One that needs no ones permission.
Get my degree that is the plan.
I will do the best that I can.
Find a new home to move into,
Where? Right now I have not a clue.
I am moving full steam ahead,
No matter what my heart dreads.
One day at a time is my new creed.
It will be one that I will one that I carefully heed.
She was a bundle of fear walking down the street
With the memory of yesterday sill fresh in her feet
She remembers her Mother begging her one day
Sweetheart, Please don't let the life carry you away
The whole world awaited so she took a chance
Lost so deeply in the fire of his cold romance
Tonight you'll find her back out on the street
Somebody's daughter is now somebody's meat
Turning tricks for a fix a simple solution
Filling her soul up with pollution
Sometimes in the life miracles are found
As somebody's daughter walks through the town
After walking all night she was tired and sore
As somebody's daughter knocks on the door
Her dad opens the door with the biggest of grins
Wraps her up in his arms and welcomes her in
He promised her later they would talk for awhile
As he tucks her to bed with a big smile
He looked at his baby with a tear in his eye
Went back to his room and proceeded to get high
See for her daddies habit she had to hoe
Thats what addiction does to the soul
Next day she found him dead in his room
Right there beside him, his needle and spoon
Her mother took her home the very next day
No more of her soul will she have to pay
Trading death for freedom a simple solution
As hell gets offered a little more pollution
© 2007 Michael Jordan
All Rights Reserved
Baby Leigh Ann died today
In Heaven now she must stay
Bobby's with her up above
Surrounding her with his love
Forever in our hearts they will remain
As we suffer through life with our pain
Tears flow easily from our eyes
Just like rain falling out of the sky
Our hearts continue to break
Wanting their death to be a mistake
Not understanding why you both had to die
Making Heaven your home in the sky
"Broken wings", with them you can't fly!
You flail about, but still, you can't ever reach the sky.
Wearily you seek for some refuge where you can go.
Moving cautiously away from others so that they would never know.
"Broken wings", with them you can't fly!
And as time goes on, your're not able to peer out even to see the sky.
Longing for a time when you could soar with each wind anew.
That was when you could glide through the sun and a sky so blue.
"Broken wings", with them you can't fly!
But hope begins with a stretch of the wings and desire to reach the sky.
Wearily you seek for some refuge where you can go.
Moving cautiously towards others so that some may know.
"Broken wings", with them you can't fly!
But healing means trusting, and knowing that you will again see the sky.
Longing for a time when you can soar each wind anew.
Taking time to mend so that you will glide through the sun and a sky so blue.
"Broken wings", with them you can't fly!
But never to stretch your wings, means never to see the sky.
I put a smile on my face
to keep the questions from flowing
my mind is on a quest
but i don't know where it's going
it has left my heart, body and soul behind
though it has gone to a place that I cannot find
it leaves me in pieces, shattered and broken
it keeps on moving but I don't know where it's going
is it searching for the meaning it thought it lost?
or is it leaving to give me back my heart, but what's the cost
when it goes it leaves my heart in the open
vulnerable to an attack but i'm wishing and hoping
will come back soon because my heart can't take it
I was left alone cold and naked
exposed to the word for my face can no longer hide
the despair of the loneliness I feel inside
as my mind is on its journey to a place I cannot go
I hope and wish and pray that someday I will know
so I can find it and bring it back to where it's supposed to be
safe sitting here at home with me
I know I shouldn’t tempt to break or question golden rules
This sacred inquisition’s plague could brand me as a fool
I’m seeking resolution; it’s not aimed at any of you
In giving my opinion I don’t mean to misconstrue
Let others live as they choose to and let them make their bed
The warnings and the threats aside, to try this route instead
I’ve watched with hawk eye and with sword dangling above each head
The righteous fragile path grows thin, so gently I must tread
To serve a higher being gives insight to life hereafter
But will you volunteer if you’ve been chosen as a martyr
If not, a merciless wrath to face, a threat from someone smarter
Do as I say, not as I do; a bribe could be a starter
He leads me to what I should do, but leads not by example
If I am stubborn or refuse, pain multiplied by ample
Just follow with no questions asked, I’ll strike you if you do
Does this seem fair, or right or just to anyone of you?
So if I come to air the thoughts that trouble day by day
When that day comes, will the door be closed, will I be shown away
How can you turn your back on what you’ve taught me to believe?
You can’t submit me into darkened holes of “truths” perceived
Each morning the sun sparkles our eyes,
As we ask why in the cool sunrise.
And each year we touch others with hands,
With souls – not knowing just where one stands.
Of this nothing the something now comes—
Or are we nothing: half with no sums.
Ask a full moon in a frame of trees—
It knows and nods, and so gently flees.
I've been transformed by willingness, and a desire
to move forward without keeping sad things in mind.
Confident to smile with surprise and allowing love to flow in;
faces don't avoid my glances that were unfriendly and sullen.
Something that happens unexpectadly can give someone an unusual thrill;
I distrusted people who were different from me...having no character, no will.
Followed by my shadow, fear captured me to create unnecessary fright;
my room became my habitat and escape from a society claiming their plight.
With no friends to meet at cafes and local restaurants, I closed my windows,
prohibiting a glint of sunshine...assuming it wasn't meant for me, but for others.
Glued to a wide screen, watching documentaries of tragedies and unaviodable fates;
empathizing with them, and yet convinced that I shouldn't have been grabbing at straws.
Hackneyed words came out of my mouth, a habitue' of negative and dubitable thoughts;
and filled with their drudgery,I stopped listening to positive folks, thus, doubling my loads.
How can one be transformed by willingness? Discard the habits that amount to nothing;
find the source of your uselessness, and be inspired by all who have achieved their goal.
Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci
I sit here and silently cry
For I feel life is passing me by.
I may smile and I may laugh
But that is not how I feel, not by half.
Inside I am just a giant mess,
Am told it is nothing but stress.
Not a soul truly sees,
The pain is bringing me to my knees!
Every choice and decision I second guess.
But how can I do anything less?
I have no idea what to do.
Where am I going? Not a clue!
I am just wondering aimlessly along
Feeling like no where I belong.
Who am I and who am I meant to be?
Does anyone know? Please tell me!
I am tired of being lonely.
Tired of looking for my one and only.
Tired of being so cold and numb.
Tired of being treated like I am dumb.
Inside I have a heart of gold
It is not something that can be sold.
To the right person it will be given freely.
To the right man. I promise. Really.
Loving me is not ever going to be easy.
Not for the feint of heart or queasy.
But will be well worth it to the one in the in the end,
To take this heart and make it finally mend.
My hunger is too great today
Than it has ever been
We’ve been a thousand miles in piles of
Diet coke and cranberry patches
Streaming ear to ear like a seam,
Seemingly patterned yet not all alike or repeating
Churning and churning thoughts flood my mind
Overwhelmed I deliberate unbeknownst what to find
Gazing blankly forward I attempt tranquil wonder
Alas my perplexed mind can not contemplate yonder
Bewildered I retreat poignant and undecided
Aghast I suppress an anguished lament unguided
Folorn I submit to my morose numbness once more
Drained I finally walk out knowing its over forevermore
Nobody drinks alone
Except when all alone
Toasting callous skies
Rubbing bloodshot eyes
Mumbled words of drag
Dreary days gone stag
Cursing at double doors
Calling hope a whore
Stumbling for a dance
Shots of circumstance
Falling to the floor
Spilling whiskey’s war
Sipping anguished age
Dregs of drunken rage
Spinning shards of glass
Cutting friends that pass
Emptied bottles of pain
Relics without refrain
Collecting broken lies
Closing bloodshot eyes
As echoes of voices resound in my head
My eyes, they then strain as I tumble from bed
So loud is the nonsense that’s calling me on
As I listen to voices speaking right and some wrong
My response becomes louder as I shriek with each sound
For so many, many voices are there to be found
Each one is quite distinct in its very own way
But, with one thing in common, they have something to say
The more that I listen, the less that I know
As they all pull me downward, so down I must go
My descent to the unknown, a spiraling fear
With hopes that when fallen, there’s nothing to hear
A long time ago I lost all emotion,
Didn't cry for three years no matter the commotion.
I suppressed all my feelings deep down inside,
I felt so scared and helpless so these feelings I hide.
Hide them from you but more so from me,
I hide them not to feel and someday be free.
I can't break free of what I've been feeling,
Maybe if I talk about it I could start healing.
Healing my wounds more then skin deep,
Only when I'm ready they're mine to keep.
These ideals I avoid
Perplex me most annoyed
So wrapped up in myself
Faith kneels down on a shelf
Lost beyond conceit here
This azure mirage sphere
Claims my journeys aren't done
Since trials have just begun
I let you down again
Rage abhors the brakeman
My blood denies its roots
While my consciousness loots
Belief denies assent
This foul bile shall ferment
Dissolving from within
Pasts fixed with a clothespin
Just what spawns this wild hair?
I'm still trudging nowhere
Hoping won't stop my slide
Staggering from bromide
Pupils reveal my loss
Those dots can't reach across
That vast gap in between
What my third eye has seen
My rods and cones race off
When truth and faith face-off
Behind suns where you hide
Outbursts lurk deep inside
Far too brilliant to face
In our system's crankcase
Blazes fume from passions
Ebbing holy rations
Prayers burn as they stroke you
From caustic residue
I don't deserve your trust
Since toxins sear robust
Holes within your design
And visions most divine
Dash from my open eye
Begging for your reply
Is she still waiting as we speak,
back along that lonely street?
is she lying there in bed,
thinking of the things
the curtains billow
"cross her lips
she thinks about your
Have you come to say
I wonder which of us
stillness in her meager room,
the cars whiz by out in the gloom,
she stares at flashing neon signs,
her mirror speaks in fractured lines,
to tell her yesterday is gone,
she feels the winter coming on,
she has nothing left of you,
no keepsake there to see her through,
I watch you as you cross my mind,
with every memory I find,
I roll your name around my tongue
and think of days when we were young,
you pulled my braids,
you kicked my shins,
you called me brat,
you called me friend,
Now should I let this be the end?
I brush the hair out of your eyes
inside me I can hear her sighs
the answer comes to me just then
I hear it blowing on the wind............
Suicidal thoughts, suicidal prayers.
Who gives a damn? Nobody cares.
I’ve brought myself up to be what I will.
Now just to keep life, I’m forced to kill.
I’ve been so alone as long as I know.
Just as I pleased, I could come and go.
Now this lifestyle I lead is simply too much -
A drug-induced daze - reality I can’t touch.
I’d be better off dead, but this should I choose?
I can’t win either way. Dead or alive I lose.
This world won’t accept me, should I choose to stay,
But this world wouldn’t miss me. I’m no one either way.
I’m merely a wanderer who gets dreadful stares.
And all that I’m left with are suicidal prayers.
In the corners of my mind
Lives a creature of uncertain kind.
It guides my ever certain whims
And follows beats of perplexing hymns.
Sometimes it shouts, bellows and roars
Often with wings outstretched it soars
Gliding through my id and ego
Following shadow-like where I go.
Thoughts with constant and ebb and flow
Reaping what my hands have sown
Watching, leading, guiding through the unknown.
What is this being from within
That lights my path and shows me “when?”
I must confess I’d be a mess
If I didn’t have those little voices
Helping me to make my choices.
Better off than I’d be
If my life was up to me.
Upon the arrival of it all,
It is still quite hard to recall.
Was it day or was it night?
Did she do it out of fright?
Who could of expected this from a sweet and innocent girl?
No one even knew that she was in her own little world,
For she hid her feelings, speaking to none.
Everyone asked "how had all this begun?"
She trusted no one, not even those who cared,
For there was too many things that she had feared.
Her fears came from the past.
She didn't want those brutal memories to last.
Not wanting things to repeat,
She decided to repress all of the heat.
She took everything in, not saying one word,
Knowing that eventually she would explode.
She lived life pretending to be fine,
But as time passed there was no sign.
Situations became more disastrous and confusing.
Her thoughts began to become more perplexing.
No one could save her, not even the person she loved.
She thought that he would bring her above.
Above the sorrow and above the pain,
Above all these things she couldn't explain.
Everything to her was meaningless.
The things she tried to fix constantly became a mess.
Her stress had caused her to take her own life.
She had succumbed to all of the strife.
Tears was what was left when she had died.
It was amazing the amount of people that had cried.
If she could of seen how many people did care,
She would have believed that there was nothing to fear.
From daily living we all wanna a break
Some relief!sometimes things are too much!
We are thrown in a darkest pitch
From where our bones soon start to creak!
We are thrown in a darkest pitch
From where our bones soon start to creak!
The world in which we live turns so bleak
At times, we make our way with a shriek
Things in life we're expected just to seek
It crosses our mind then to have a tiny sneak!
We are thrown in a darkest pitch
From where our bones soon start to creak!
People want to be good or bad
Sometimes both they wan'na be
After all when having fun,nothing matter,
They believe everything is valid, all in a day's pay!
We are thrown in a darkest pitch
From where our bones soon start to creak!
We are thrown in a darkest pitch
From where our bones soon start to creak!
We are thrown in a darkest pitch
From where our bones soon start to creak!
Dorian Petersen Potter
Loosely the transparent leaves of memory fall
Limply I accede reminiscent of a limp rag doll
Slowly I invoke this insistent yearning inside
This plethora of countless emotions derived
Incenced by the summon of one depraved
Sadistic venom inciting abhorrence enraged
Progressively anointing obvious camouflage
Spinning uncontrollably in a neverending gyre
Vicious piercing screams so enragingly dire
Jaded I surrender to this uninhibited emotion
Sentient I resume my unkempt decision
Sometimes I wonder
If there will ever be
Someone to love,
Someone to comfort me
Then I sit down and hold my head,
It might be Better when i'm dead
So I Get up and go alone
To a place where I can just forget
All the things that I find that I regret
And so I embrace the misery
Carsick staring up at the sky
close the roof as the sun rolls by
my seatbelt is a gray tongue that licks me into my seat
I’m beat, I’m beat, I’m beat, I’m beat, I’m beat
It seems, the clerk is not in the best form today
For he gave me an extra cash, like an extra pay
I just want a $359; instead, he handed a $539
Should I take it or not, a question in my mind
I am no saint I admit and I want this $180 bucks
Should I care for him, if, he will be on the rocks
I must struggle against strange voices in my head,
That really keep messing me, even, when I’m in bed
Feed me...feed me...of evil things, says the first
No only me, says the other, even if you are thirst
Though, I’ve three kids and my shoulder is in pain
I let myself not to nourish them with an easy gain
For I believe that man does not live by bread alone
This is what I’m trying to do; even life is like a stone
This drumming in my head continuously pounds
Yield I say for this reverberating resounds
Incessantly it continues so mercilessly torturing
Frequent and insistent it goes on irritating
This drumming in my head so annoyingly morose
Unfailing in its duty it continues its drone
Ongoing and neverending steadily unchanging
Leave me I plead for my words so ailing
Try I must to end this facade
Withered I stand hoping it isnt late
Adroit in this quagmire so meticulously infused
I yield yet the ground beneath me moves
Alone in a room of people I stand confused
Attune in this menagerie so materially abused
Seclusion notwithstanding I relinquish, capitulate, cede
Devoid of qualm I succumb daftly to the lure revealed
Subdued by my rivalry I prevail, endure, exist
Simply a nuance of distinction I concede permit
Infantile I accede yet somehow circumspectly survey
Surreptitiously I allocate the acquisition of the day
The sad reality of me is that I’m dead.
And its so extremely hard for me to live inside my head. .
You can never understand an addict so don’t pretend to try
This is me. I’ve always had it, the compulsion to get high.
Well maybe I am unworthy of a better life
Maybe I would rather let myself believe the lie
Or maybe I just sold my soul, Cause I had better things to buy
Monotony is more miserable than coming down, you see
Higher highs make lower lows, and that’s okay with me
I’d rather feel pain than nothing, rather make words rhyme
Always the same sad ending, but It hurts so good sometimes
Dark poetry implies a negativity in poets
But there is beauty in despair, freedom for those who show it.
Pleasure coming out of pain; its no concept that we haven’t heard
I like to cut my self in vain, regret the scars, but never learn
“God Help me,” I try to repent, but my desires make me sway
I let him down again, and now reluctant to attempt to pray.
I’m so tired and you have to know that I have put my all in this
I can’t acquire strength enough, to rise above my selfishness.
I seek you out Lord, crying, my candle’s flame is growing dim
The fire deep inside has died; I have no choice but to give in.
Blow it out as if to say, there is no hope for me
Effortless to stop you I’m afraid that dope will steal my dreams
The sad reality of me is that I’m dead.
But when I become aware of this I drown myself in drugs again.
It has been quite a while since I have opened my heart;
To feel these emotions just tears me apart;
I think I was a child, about nine years old;
When I closed my eyes as my heart turned cold;
I would tell you the reason if I really knew why;
I was not beaten, no one close to me died;
I hear how bad life was for the ones I hold close;
They tell me bad stories and tell me of their ghosts;
They don't understand why I need them at all;
They can't comprehend why I cry in the hall;
Well maybe it's time to tell you my ploy;
See, deep inside I'm still that nine-year-old boy;
I cry when I'm yelled at, I cry when I'm hurt;
I cry for attention when I feel just like dirt;
I watch other people and I know how to act;
I just keep moving forward and I never look back;
I get to the top and there is no place to go;
I didn't realize my life has been one giant show;
I don't know who I am now, and I can't find my reason;
I no longer belong here, it's no longer my season;
I don't have a calling, not anymore;
I'm still that little boy, trying to open the door.
When I close my eyes, I see a lonely girl,
One that is desperate to belong some where in this world,
Aching for approval from any and everyone,
falling short of her own expectations,leaving her life left undone,
The mirror reflects an image that she hates,
Her outside shows a portrait that she creates,
A manufactured smile completes the illusion nicely,
Poised and proper, she pulls off happiness precisely,
No one sees the darkness inside,
No one feels the guilt that won't subside,
She opens her mouth, but cannot find her words,
The voice inside is begging to be heard,
I open my eyes to an absolute hush,
She knows that I am the only one she can trust.