I’m in such a state of confusion,
I don’t understand what I’m doing
I know your there
And I know you care
But I can’t see you
I can’t hear you
I just don’t know what to do
I know your there in the stillness,
Waiting to heal this illness
There is a deep hole
A sickness in my soul,
Disease in the depths of my heart
But How to fix it
I wouldn't know where to start
How it came to be
Is a deep mystery to me
I know that I am broken
We all are in some way
But rarely are these things spoken
Rarely do I have the courage to say
The secrets kept within
The depths of my sin
But if I hide it how can it be healed
How can the healer heal?
If I keep my heart sealed
What if I let down my shield?
Will I be attacked or disgraced
Or will I be embraced
I’m too scared to find out
To be found out
So I hide my face
I only let people see part of me
I only let people get so close
I don’t want them to see
I don’t want them to know
And so I end up alone
I’ve been to the bar, the clubs,
All the social hubs
But no one cares about my hurts
Life’s all about chasing skirts,
Fancy cars and nice shirts
Or is there something beyond drunken nights, and flashing lights
Is there something really worth living for, an open door to something more?
An invitation to a new destination
A path to peace, a sweet release
A new life to claim, an escape from the shame
I believe there is, some days I forget
But my life isn’t over yet
Tomorrow is a new day
I can live life your way
With love and peace
With guilt and shame released
With a new heart
And a new start
A reason to live
And something to give
To this broken earth
Of invaluable worth
At my very core
I know I was born for more
Than to live and to die
Without knowing why
I don’t have it all figured out
But I know without a doubt
That the world needs love
And that love comes from above
Because human love is not enough
That is why there is a deep hole
And a sickness in my soul
But to me has been revealed
The way to be healed
Now I have a mission
A reason for existence
To bring healing to the earth
To the unloved, the broken, the rejected
And tell them what they are worth
So that Jesus’ love will be reflected
And this love will give birth
To many people being resurrected,
Redirected and completely accepted
To a wonderful and glorious rebirth
I never knew following dreams could be this lonely,
But up on the hill, looking back, thank God I'm not the old me.
If the tears will fall, let them be;
I believe this is God's plan, follow your dreams.
I am the hypocritical Christian.
I say I follow Christ,
But I'm still consumed by my demons.
I go to church on Sunday,
But I refuse to invite someone back.
I want to serve on mission,
But I'm too afraid to act.
They think I read The Bible,
But I just fall asleep in it.
They think I'm positivity and smiles,
But underneath I'm death and addictions.
They think I'm clean and pure,
But I'm broken and mistaken.
I say I'm not worthy of His love,
But Jesus will never let me be forsaken.
I pray long prayers,
But inside they're empty repetition.
It might look as if my faith is strong,
But my core is too easily shaken.
I say the things I'm supposed to say,
But don't follow His actions or obey.
I speak the truth the church wants to hear,
But deep inside on matters I don't know what to believe.
I walk in shame as if I'm not good enough
To be loved by God and saved through Christ,
But there is nothing I could ever do to earn His peace;
It's a free gift.
Now forgiven, changed, and released.
Thank You God,
Thank You Jesus,
Thank You Holy Spirit!
In Jesus' Holy Name,
My God You read my thoughts...
You know what's in my heart...
You know my desires, my needs and my wants;
You know what brings me happiness and sorrows;
You know everything about me.
More than me ever, I know you know me;
There are times I wonder why I need to experience these;
I wonder why You brought me to some places;
I wonder why...
There are times You answer me immediately..
Yet there are times I need to wait..
for a day, a month or years...
I am sorry sometimes I am impatient..
I am sorry sometimes I falter.
And sometimes I become depressed and anxious...
yet despite all these my Father God...
I am holding myself back..
I keep on reminding myself that
You are bigger than anything..
That You are walking with me
and carrying me through all the way...
I know and I trust that in the silence..
You will speak to me;
You will calm my nerves;
You will understand my weakness;
You will give me peace.
And that you will direct me to where the best is....
I have my plans my Father God..
I trust You..
I trust that Yours is better than mine..
I trust that Yours is best for me...
I do not have everything my Father God..
but its okey..
Only I ask...
That please give me more strength...
give me more wisdom...
give me more understanding...
give me more patience...
I thank You for everything..
I know that without You by my side..
I have been long down..
I have been all just a person without a will.
a person meaningless...
a person who is empty..
or at losS..
Thank You for searching me...
I know a lifetime will never be enough to thank You..
Nor what I have is enough to You..
But I trust that despite these,,
You will see me through..
You will still hold me through..
For I believe, You will see my heart...
Thank You very much..
I know and I trust that whatever is happening now..
You are in full control.
Hence, I am totally surrendering all to You.
For my life is within Your hands,
I surrender to You...
June 04, 2014
--Your Persona, Captures Elegance,
Your Heart, Values At Top Rate,
Your Soul, Priceless, GODS LOve--
Lord., I've Been Hurting!
This one thing I am
Lately I’ve been really hurtin’.
I trying to do right, but it
turns out “wrong.”
Where, in life,
do I really belong?
So many people
pass me by.
may say; “hi!”
I don’t know if this message is
I feel so confused and
A message of “help” has my
prayer and plea…
For God to reach out to me!
He reached down and
made me whole!
HIS love and compassion
filled my soul!
Spending time with Jesus
is time well spent!
It was for you and me that
Jesus was sent!
By Jim Pemberton
Quite frankly, I don't remember at all
You see I was quite young when I took my first fall.
Don't know which parent was there to catch me
Or how hard the decision was to stand back and let me.
Did I topple forward or backward, or who made the call.
And who scooped me up crying
After the fall.
I can't remember the joy of first letting go
And taking that step without holding on.
Groping my way forward
Leaning against the wall
I got back up
After the fall.
As the Earth spun the years flew by so fast
At 17 I finally knew everything at last!!
Unexpectedly, I fell once again,
Head over heels this time
And out on a limb.
I was so sure of that bet
I gambled it all
Heart bruised abused and then broken
After that fall.
And then I broke my own promise
To not love again.
Hungry for life
I gambled to win.
Life is a theatre of first steps first
A one act play with no time to rehearse.
Co starring in roles
Cast without planning.
"Never more" echoes
The raven still chanting.
To let darkness win all
Trusting Father to be there
After the fall.
Then the day came
When I had a son
To let him learn the word hot And hope he'd not run,
Would he still love me
Or trust me at all
When I pulled my hand back
And allowed him to fall?
And knowing I'd be there again
To help him to stand
And knowing he might never walk
If I didn't let go of his hand
And hoping he didn't revert back to a crawl
When I let go of his hand
And allowed him to fall.
As the earth kept on turning
My heart kept yearning
My son now a man
Living and learning.
He hasn't held my hand now in a very long time
The cats in the cradle slowly plays in the back of my mind.
I looked in the mirror today
And noticed my dad.
And remembered a talk that we'd never had.
Remembering how he seemed towering and tall
And was there every time
After each fall.
I lose my balance these days now and again
My steps aren't as sure
As they once might have been.
In the winter of life now
I feel so small
And wonder who'll catch me
If I take a fall.
I suppose I'll just have to trust Father
With both great things and small
To pick me up on the other side
When I take my last fall.
Dear Jesus… I realize
how much I really need you!
I want to honor,
love and trust you!
I know that others will
I know that you’re here….
And will take care of me!
Your principles of holy
living is what you taught!
Love, Joy and peace…
is what you brought!
May I bring honor
to your name!
Your message of salvation,
I need to proclaim!
Dear Jesus… You’re all I need!
And so much more!
It’s you that my life
was meant for!
I offer to you, my lord,
praise and thanksgiving!
For all you’ve done,
And the life you’re giving!
You all I’ll ever need!
The anointed one!
There’s victory in YOU!
Life’s battles are won!
By Jim Pemberton
God of Light
In the dark of night,
And face my lord
The God of Light
Who guides me
Thru the haze of pain,
And takes on him
My guilt and shame
As he takes my hand,
And shows me
How to rise and stand
Because He chose
To call me friend
A wretched man
Though I may be,
He offers fellowship
I lay no claim
To being just,
He gives me grace
In trade for trust
For any man,
Without the mercy
Of “I Am”
The song of God
Is in my ear,
And every fear
His weary child to sleep
This loving shepherd
To his sheep
All earthly harm
As I slumber
In his arms
No longer frightened
By the night
Is the God of Light
I visited a garage sale. And had a
surprised look on my face.
I noticed that some things
were "out of place."
To my right... Was a shelf filled with books..
And Christian ones too.
To my left... Was a sign that read;
"I have adult movies for you."
I wondered and thought with
some kind of amazement.
"Does this person read these books.
And watch this "entertainment?"
This is common in many Christian homes...
Often... People cross God's
"boundaries" and "safety zones."
Anyone can go to church.
Pray, sing and "shed a tear."
Not realizing that sin's temptation
is drawing ever so near.
Do you seek God's holiness and the
power of Jesus' name?
But each night... Before bedtime...
Things aren't quite the same...
Have you opened up your heart
and mind... And live life unfulfilled?
Is this the way you ought to live?
Is this what God has willed?
He desires to live inside of you.
And help you to discover.
With any stronghold in life. He'll help you to recover!
Are things in life "out of place?"
And need to be put back together?
Allow God's word to guide you!
His promises are forever!
Everything will be where it should be...
With Jesus In control!
Only he can defeat the enemy that
seeks to destroy your soul!
By Jim Pemberton