“Good-bye my daughter dear,” she said
As tears welled up in her eyes
“It’s time for me to go to sleep
This must be no surprise
The good Lord knows my battles
And my health is ailing still
He’s given me so many blessings
I’ve passed them to you in my will
I’m sad to say good-bye
For we have shared much joy
Remember me to Sarah
My grandchild I love and enjoy
I love you my daughter
These years together have been sweet
I’m so glad you love the Lord
And again we will meet
I’m not afraid of dying
‘Cause I know that in a while
Christ will call me from my grave
I feel my life has been worthwhile
For I taught you to seek your Father
To help you through every trial
He’ll always be there to guide you
With never a denial
I leave you in His hands”, she said
As she gently kissed her daughter’s hand
Her eyes closed very slowly
Against cancer she’d lost her stand
She’d been a wonderful mother
Teacher and true friend
Faithful to her Lord
And gracious to the end.
Copyright © Maureen LeFanue 2007-2012
My name is James, born 1961
In Inverness, a small Scots town
To my father Andrew, and my mother Beryl
And Billy my brother, a pair of devils
In 67, we woke one night
Our house was ablaze, full of orange light
Our neighbour next door, for whatever reason
Started a fire, it must be crazy season
We had too move to a caravan park
By this time it,s three, to make a new start
My mother Beryl decide to leave
But the three of us left, never bothered to grieve
In the next few weeks, we ended in court
Two small children, in a marriage abort
We were asked to choose either Dad or Mum
But we ignored the parent, who went on the run
As we left the court, to start a new life
We felt sorry for Dad, as his illness was rife
He never told us that he was unwell
It would upset one of his boys, as the future will tell
Then came the night all parents dread;
Being told one of his boys is nearly dead
We were going to a boys club, on a Monday night
My brother was running so far out of sight
I turned the corner to see him ahead
No!! he's been hit by a van, Boom's Boom's dead
I ran to my father, sreaming and crying
I'm finding my life,at 7 - far too trying
After the funeral, and with my father unwell
We left Inverness, our eyes a swell
To go as two, and not three as before
It's like Mother Nature closed a door
So we headed west, to a place called Fort William
Was it in the stars, cause Billy " is " William
We moved there, as the air was so pure
Hoping my father will find his cure
For whatever reason, we left the above
We found no Angel or peaceful dove
So we headed back to Inverness
Fathers health decreasing, life still a stress
Over the next few years, i was fostered and loaned
In couples houses and children's homes
It was really strange in all those places
Different people, different faces
Then on the 16th of Feb - 76,
James, i was told, your dads very sick.
The cancer had taken your father away
To be with Billy, where you'll join them one day
In 77, i joined the Navy, as i promised my dad you see.
I did'nt enjoy it, i decided to leave
Back up north, where my futures to be
I wanted to have, what my parents had lost
And that was my aim, no matter the cost
see page 2 of 2, ty..
You do not stand alone in your Battle
Your battle is our Battle
We may not be there in body
But we are there with you in Spirit
We are there in every beat of your Heart
In every whisper of the wind
In every thought and every touch
Every breath and every sound
We are there with you
You are wrapped in an Endless chain of Love
In every link we each send you a part of us
We send you some of our Strength
Some of our will to Fight
Some of our Courage
The most important of them all
We send you all of our Love
If you feel you need more
Just give that Endless chain a little tug
And we'll be there
Tug til you need us no more
Then we'll know you've gone Home
5/09/2014 Dedicated to my Aunt Nini, Wilma Thomas Gamble for Mother's Day. Sadly she lost her Battle w/ Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer on 5/30/2014.
He was sitting cross legged at 15th and Market
The people would walk around him during the workweek
He sat chatting with his cat
The cat was named Mr Johnson and they were friends
The man had skin cancer on his nose in the form of a bloody mole
And there were days when he sat talking with the Mole
The Mole would chastise him saying,"If your mother could only see you now."
"If my mother could see me now it would be a miracle,"said the man
The man's mother had been dead for over 20 years
The Mole loved to get his back rubbed but the man was tired
So the Mole gave him the silent treatment
And Mr Johnson reached up and scratched the mole
"You musn't be mean to the man or I will not feed you Mole."
The Mole apologized to the Man
The man decided to tell the Mole a story and cat would add parts
He always added parts
There once was a flower
'It stood near a Disco tower, "added Mr Johnson
Its petals were yellow
"All good moles shout hello,"sang Mr Johnson
And the policeman was shaking the man and his mole
"Move along buddy."
Attempt at Burlesque
You wake up to your mother’s loving voice.
She has a gift for you that she knows you’ll love.
You close your eyes and hold out your tiny hands.
You feel something soft, but cold to the touch.
At the sight of it you let out a squeal of delight.
A pink ribbon.
You wake up to your piercing alarm.
It’s your high school graduation day.
You notice your mother smiling in the doorway.
She has a gift that she knows you’ll love.
Eyes closed, you feel a familiar sensation around your wrist.
A pink ribbon.
You wake up to the soft sound of weeping.
You find your mother downstairs, heartbroken.
She was clutching two things in her hands.
The first was a letter from the hospital.
You saw the other and knew it could mean death,
A pink ribbon.
You wake up to a methodical beeping.
You’re in a hospital room with your mother.
She runs a hand over you shaven head.
She has a gift for you that she hopes you’ll love.
Eyesight blurred from tears, you know that feeling.
A pink ribbon.
You wake up to your mother’s loving voice.
Someone’s at the door for you.
At the sight of them let out a squeal of delight.
The march has come to you!
Every person has what you love.
A pink ribbon.
I was just a child of four with not much to say
But I enjoyed the times I went next door to stay
You were so sick in bed and didn't feel quite well
But you were strong and played with me so I could never tell
You body was full of cancer you were very ill
But whenever I saw you, you'd smile and I'd sit still
I'd climb next to you on your bed, I wouldn't wiggle
I saw the sparkle in your eyes and sometimes we would giggle
I'd love to sit and dress up in your necklaces and hats
Pretend I was a princess while you would just lay back
I was too young to know how sick you really were
You never ever let on, you let me play, a lot was just a blur
As I grew I was told you loved the time we shared
I wish that you were never sick and knew how much I cared.
My mom was a strong woman, and stubborn too,
Yet she had a soft side, between me and you.
That side she would show, when you least expected,
But let me tell you, she was well respected.
Mom was quite unique, and was one of a kind,
She was set in her ways, so keep that in mind.
The youngest of nine, she had gotten her way,
Spoiled by her siblings’, almost every day.
Right out of high school, she had married my dad,
Blessed with three children, plus fifty years they had.
They both were hard workers, in all that they did,
My dad taught himself, from when he was a kid.
My mom was a smoker, for forty-six years,
Some day it would happen, she’d face all her fears.
Lung cancer she had, and inoperable too,
Her time on this earth, would be shortened we knew.
Radiation and Chemo, had done their thing,
Remission set in, tears of joy it did bring.
We would go out at night, to shop and to talk,
I knew she enjoyed, getting out for a walk.
Two years had gone by, after Thanksgiving Day,
Her pain had returned, but was afraid to say.
She’d lie on the couch; it was strength she did lack,
We knew in our hearts, that the cancer came back.
We shared lots of laughter, but many a tear,
I tried to assure her, she’d nothing to fear.
“Please watch over your dad, this one thing I ask.”
“I know it will be, quite a difficult task.”
One morning in March, Hospice called us to say,
You may want to come, for she’s slipping away.
For the night before, mom told me to stay home,
“Be there for your kids, you can call me by phone.”
When we all arrived, for a moment she woke,
Her eyes said it all, not a word had she spoke.
We stayed by her bedside, just holding her hand,
“It’s time to let go mom, we all understand”.
A few days had passed, not ready to let go,
For it had been raining, but letting up slow.
The sun began shining, the clouds disappeared,
Opening the heavens, for mom’s time has neared.
We gathered together, her forehead we kissed,
Whispering so softly, how much she’d be missed.
“Your time has arrived mom, just follow the light”,
She left us so peaceful, she gave up her fight.
It was time to drive home, in the car we got,
Then something had happened, while leaving the lot.
Huge drops of rain falling, it had to be fate.
They were tears of joy; she was at heaven’s gate.
I cried for them this afternoon
Knew them since the matinee started
Saw them fall in love
At first sight, the world stopped
Everything was silent at the sight of it
They looked and were lovers
Later that day on their knees
Repeating vows that till today
They saw only in throw away plays
I cried for them, their lost love
But not for mother whose long life ended
By the Yankee Sluggers creeping disease
What was there to cry about?
As the blue ice calved from glacier slabs
Creased iron plates, made orphans, widows
And most aboard but not me or my mother
Or the yet unborn twice told tale
Tony was told she died, frantic with fear
He called out for her but got Chino instead
Saw her running to him, delirious with fear and joy
He got a bullet instead, tearing threw his back
Breaking his heart in half he fell into her arms
She covered his face with kisses and tears
And I too wept again for what could have been
What should have been for mother, died without my tears
For I knew not how to give!
Instead to those I gave tears so freely
But I knew them since the matinee started
Who cried for my three brothers
Charley, like Marley dragged his chains around
And spent a life time sawing them off, Michael who fell
From heaven one day, curly hair and welcoming smile
Orphaned by mother who just gave him away
Brain dead one day in June, the rest followed six months to the day
Brother Tom, large lonesome eyes never saw what the world wondered. Water boarded at age five, he left and never returned
Last month got cancer and died exactly one month later.
I cried today for the matinee lovers,
When I should have cried for them.
I am all alone in this great big world
My destiny is being unfurled
I am responsible for my plight
And what I may do tonight
There is no one else to put my shame
Only me, myself, and I to blame
What did I do wrong you may ask
Only I can unburden my task
She is gone so you maybe you can see
Her lost dreams are my reality
She passed on an October day
Leaving my boy behind with me to stay
It is a daunting thing this boy of mine
Looks like his mother time after time
I love my boy he is much like me
I just want him to be happy
I have been told time and time again
That I need to reel my boy in
I don’t see that he is doing any harm
He has gone through hell, that’s his yarn
His mom’s dreams were so easy to see
She wanted the best for him and me.
I have a big guilt because she is gone
And left me the ability to carry on
I only wish that I would have done the same
A love like hers was hard to explain
I left her for another a long time ago
Before I knew about the cancer so you know
When the news came that she was ill
I really wanted to take a bunch of pills
Pills to ease my guilty pain
Of leaving the woman I loved out in the rain.
To my son, if you ever read these words of prose
Please take the time to ensure that everybody knows
That I loved your mother very much indeed
And you were the product of love not a misdeed
I sit here with a tear running down my face
Trying to find another to replace
The girl I loved more than anything at all
Except you my son, you are the apple
The apple of my eye the fruit of my loom
My entire existence is for you to bloom
Your mother and I are proud of you
And are happy you are succeeding in all you do.
Son I hope you will forgive me for things I’ve done
I have one life to live and mistakes can’t be undone
I hope I will be forgiven in the afterlife
And be reunited with your mother and my wife.
I hope your pain eases as you grow older
Never forget, but get bolder
You are almost a man in this big world
Please learn from my mistakes before you unfurl
Your mother and I will be waiting for you
With our arms wide open to rescue
Rescue you from this world of pain
To come live in heaven with us again
Duane LaChance Sr. - 2012
Time seems to drag on and on
when you want it to go slow
but now its moving way to fast
because i might have to let you go
You've been here all my life it seems
everyday by and by
so it shouldn't be too confusing
that losing you could make me cry
Please don't leave me mommy
stay with me please stay
don't let it be the C word
mom you cannot go away
I cannot lose someone like you
someone who's always been there
and the thought of you lying there so cold
mom it's just not fair
That thing that scares us will be nothing
let's just wait and see
because there's one thing god won't do
and that's take you from me
< "Hark" the Herald Angels begin to sing
"Jesus"patiently awaits so her children can say their last goodbyes
Cancer is the one thing she will not have to bring
For she earned her wings and is now free to fly
Perception Of Heaven's Contest
The following poem is dedicated to my mother, a breast cancer survivor and an inspiration to me!
Pushing pink is no ordinary task---
No one wants to live in fear, behind a thick mask.
Tell me you love me if no one else does;
Think of me if you will just because.
Pink ribbons or not, accept my disease!
It's not hard to do when you're down on your knees.
Pray for my wellness, a life of hope and love;
Shower blessings upon me, the joy of a snow white dove.
Lay pink blankets upon me and put a pink bow in my hair---
Please take this cup from me, it's too much to bear!
You don't have to say goodbye, it's not the end.
Always think of me often as your one, true friend.
Pushing pink may be a difficult task;
Sometimes one must put on a thick mask.
Pray for my wellness, a life of hope and love;
Shower blessings upon me, the joy of a snow white dove.
c10/23/13 Julie Rasley
(for Poet Destroyer's Pinktober contest)
I do not know?
AS WE WALK TODAY IN HER MEMORY.
WE REALIZE JUST HOW YOUNG SHE WAS.
53 WHEN THE DREADED C WORD CAME CALLING
TO TAKE HER AWAY FROM US.
EVELYN MAE, MOTHER OF 10
GREAT GRANDMOTHER OF MANY.
SO FULL OF LIFE,AND LOVE AND LAUGHTER.
SHE LEFT US ALL TO MOURN HER MEMORY.
LET'S WALK FOR A CURE.
IN ALL OUR LOVED ONES NAMES.
DO ALL IT TAKES
SO WE CAN END THIS NEEDLESS PAIN.......
GONE 26 YEARS BUT NOT FORGOTTEN SEPT.6
[ Poet' View: "WALK FOR A CURE"
A TRIBUTE TO MY MOTHER
EVELYN MAE DOWD- FRANCIS
JOIN A GROUP IN YOUR AREA
THIS POEM WAS CHOSEN AS LAST YEARS INSPIRATION
FOR THE CANCER SOCIETY IN OUR AREA. ]
If the doctor gave you a month to live
Could you keep that to your self?
Could you swallow your fear for thirty days
And keep your secret stealth
"You could possibly make it through Christmas", he said
"If there's chemo in your veins"
So she silenty took the treatment, once more
And still she never complains
She'd been in remission for seven years
But again it started to grow
Her children knew that the cancer returned
But her secret, they didn't know
She would only tell her brother the news
And he swore he wouldn't tell
So Christmas finally came and went
But it was to be their last Noel
Then on the tenth day of January
She took her secret to her grave
After she died her children were told
Of this sacrifice she gave
She wanted this Christmas to be the best
A Christmas like no other
For she didn't want her kids to be sad
This woman was my mother
Fingertip to Fingertip,
Wanting the right words to slip,
Far away is where to jaunt,
Holding near is all I want.
Fingertip to fingertip,
Kiss me here; lip to lip.
Heavy times come to all,
A dead ends the next wall.
Talk becomes cheap,
The road life turns steep.
Hold up every thought,
Soak in all that she’s taught.
Sitting so close at heart,
Reading the cancer as a chart.
Fingertip to Fingertip,
Giving one choice; to grip,
Grip onto reality,
As we minus from our family tree.
Taking away like a knife,
Taking away a loved one, a wife.
A mother with patience of a dove,
A grandmother with an unconditional love.
Fingertip to fingertip,
My hearts pumping; Flip,
A promise to never be broken,
Always close to me like a token.
Love will always be near,
Thank you Grandma for your care.
He's drempt of his mama in her garden of love,
surrounded by angels in heaven above.
Peaceful waters flow through a bubbling brook,
where her roses grew in every little nook.
She cherished the roses he had bought for her in life,
capturing their beauty and the colors of their sight.
When she was ill he knelt beside her bed,
and handed her roses with the tears that he shed.
She said don't cry for me it's beautiful over there,
where they climb so gracefully up Heaven's golden stair.
He visits her grave and places roses in her cup,
rest assured with Jesus she forever sup.
The rose bush he planted for her still grows today,
just as it did when Jesus took her away.
No sickness nor pain she can smell once more,
as she embelishes in her roses surrounded by her door.
She said plant you some roses in rememerance of me,
as you stroll through my garden waiting for you I'll be.
she sits on my shoulders, wrapping, twining
long legs warm round my neck
so tight at times, I cannot
she looks long in my eyes
deep and intent
past the glass as if to discover
to pull it all up, to
is truth a product of vanity, some kind of
as is said
I see nothing unless it sees me
and she is so much of my system
just want to start off by saying, we all know the dangers of drugs and alcohol, there is this one substance though, just one that you have to be 18 or older to buy. I am talking about “The Cancer Stick” better known as cigarettes. Most of the older people in my family and others also smoke cigarettes like its nothing at all, I never realized it caused cancer until older years, but when I found out it was too late, many of my family members developed lung cancer including my close grandmother. That woman would smoke a pack of cigarettes in the snap of a finger, but the thing is she has been doing it for over 20years I would assume. The day I found out she was dying of the disease I was not surprised, but yet she is my grandmother so I felt great sorrow. When she passed it shook my soul, but we know we must move on. The thing that boggles my mind is that the government regulates these substances knowing the dangers, and what do you get a large number of statistics on the deaths of those related to legal drugs, ex: alcohol, prescription drugs, cigarettes etc. But if it makes profit distribute it right? The death of my grandmother along with the death of my great aunt both due to that cancer stick, has changed my mindset drastically on the way things are set up in our system, I wish I was able to talk to my grandmother and aunt one last time, one last time to tell them to put that killer down and resist that mentality, but I couldn’t, why? Because they are addicts, it would take strong support, but see we didn’t have good family support. So unfortunately helping my grandmother mentally was a fail.
I do not know?
An afternoon stroll with a friend on a heated day,
Her hair perfectly swaying to her giggle bounce
Holding her tummy, simply stating
“I have a baby on the way”
Hugs, kisses, dreams and wishes
For this Mrs
The sun shining inside and out
So lucky she felt that day, she has a baby on the way
Baby’s daddy holds mommy’s hand
Says thank you honey, I love you so much
Our baby is lucky to have your heart
And I’m so blessed to wear your band
A visit to the doctor turned perfect joy into shock
You have cancer he told her
You won’t live with this life in you
Sit soon with your husband and have a talk
Hugs, kisses, dreams and wishes
For this Mrs.
The sun shines brightly on this day
Cause she still has her baby on the way
Her husband crying uncontrollable tears
Loving her so
He could never ever let her go
He can’t choose
he doesn’t want to lose
His wife or his child
She knew for her this baby was a voice
A wish she made so long ago
A wish come true
And there was no one telling her what to do
It was ultimately her decision, her choice
Six years have passed, and Emily asks,
“Daddy, when will I see mommy?”,
Today my sweet angel,
Hugs, kisses, dreams and wishes
For this Mrs
The sun still shining on this day
as Emily kneels to pray
Mommy had made her choice
And daddy still hurts so bad, he misses her smile, her touch
But he holds Emily today
with Mommy's light warming them both
His deep indescribable love for Emily sustains him
On her birthdays
Hugs, kisses, dreams and wishes
The sun still shining on this day
her hair perfectly swaying to her giggle bounce,
as she plays,
I do not know?
You walk the world cold-heartedly
not thinking to mourn
the life of which you chose to end
before it was even born.
What if it was a little girl?
She could have been your best friend.
Big blue eyes and piggy tails,
she could have had your grin.
Or what if it was a little boy
who loved his Mommy so..?
But Mommy didn't love him back,
she didn't let him grow.
She could have been a doctor,
and found the cancer cure.
He could have been a rock star,
and around the world he'd tour.
They could have cherry-topped the lives
of a loving couple somewhere
who tried and tried but couldn't seem
to have a child that was theirs.
But you're still "Mommy" either way,
so in heaven they'll wait for you.
To meet you, and hug you and hear you say
"My baby, I love you too."
Under a blue tint, sitting in eight seats
Me, plus six, minus one is my family
Dust to dust, now tears to tears
Only 50 short, hard and painful years
Symbol of pink outlined in a basket
Tisk for a tasket, twenty-three hundred dollar casket
A gift to the world, God’s newest baby
Hell or heaven, there is no maybe
Now life is gone, happy in a new home
A soul to her body no longer belongs
Light, pale pink lets cross it in a mink
Never tie my strings in a knot, because that’s what took you so to think
But before you go, let us lace you with pearls
And drip you with diamonds and make it aware to the world
That Breast Cancer has no name, nor a face
Just as a lump on your body doesn’t deserve a permanent place
Dedicated to Ms. Kimala Thomas
I do not know?
These words were once the feelings of a woman created through fear,
Put on paper for the reality when told death was near,
She couldn't accept the last thing the Dr. had to say,
Wishing he would take back the last sentence she began to pray,
Not quite ready to let go of her family and leave this world behind,
As the cancer destroyed her body these words are what laid on her mind,
I wonder what's the matter with me?,
Nothing seems right the way it should be,
Each day my mind seems to get worse,
It's as if there is a curse,
Deep down inside I know the truth,
It's hidden in a cubicle or a booth,
I know if I just had someone to talk to,
To let it all out yes that would do,
I need some time to be alone,
To be by myself to be in another time zone.,
Years after our Mother passed on this poem she wrote was found,
Hidden away waiting for the day the Lord knew we were bound,
He knew when ready we would hold it dear,
for every word we read we shed a tear,
Realizing now how alone she must have felt in her time of need,
Forever she's in our hearts showing her my love with every word you read.
When I preyed to you to save me, you laughed
When I prayed to god, I was ignored as well.
So I learned that I would always be alone in this world.
Every day filled with secrets I could never tell.
At ten I could drink your friends under the table.
I was barely afraid of what would happen in the dark.
I knew you were too drunk to hear me scream
And afterwards you refused to acknowledge my marks.
So I stopped trying to fight, I didn’t make a noise.
Because they would hit me less if I was quiet.
Soon I was filled with your same need to escape.
Every day I was on a search to find it.
If it promised oblivion, that was all I asked.
I immediately consumed it and waited for release.
But every time it wore off, I’d find myself there again
Always exhausted by my daily search for peace.
At first I misconstrued it for trying to get away from myself
Until one day I realized I was really running from you.
The spread of your fourth stage cancer of hatred and malice
And your unrelenting cycle of cruelty and abuse.
Your perpetual blame laid on me for your own mistakes
Finally had succeeded in taking its toll.
Years of fending for myself, succumbing to weakness
Had blackened my once pure soul.
For you I could harbor nothing but contempt, disgust.
The same lack of empathy you showed your own child.
I saw that you were at fault for my years of torment.
I made your rage, hatred, disregard appear mild.
I could never give you a strong enough taste.
All I wanted was for you to feel my Rapture.
You tried to silence me once again, tried to lock me up
But I wasn’t weak anymore and I refused to be captured.
I left you to your misery, I relished the fact
That leaving you with no one to catch you next time you fell
Was the most pain I could ever wish to conflict you with
Because then you would finally have to face your self.
I do not know?
This is a note to mummy.
To say, ‘thank you so very much’.
I will miss your sweet kindness,
And your soft, warm touch.
As you lie there in your bed,
Smile as you read this,
Goodbyes are very hard,
But cherish my one last kiss.
You were my everything,
And, yes, you still are,
And when you are in heaven,
Hear my voice from afar.
Thank you for all you’ve done for me,
For loving me so well,
No one, not anyone
Can break our little spell.
Our spell is cast on hope,
Trust and perfect love,
And when you see the lord,
May he greet you with his dove.
Oh, mummy, please don’t go.
Don’t let cancer take you,
But if you really, really must,
I’ll say my final goodbye.
Daddy sends his love,
Well, he would if he only knew,
But I was afraid to tell him, mum.
After what he did to you…
So, as you lie there in your bed,
And as you slowly die,
In my prayers, you will always be,
For I am sure to cry…
I do not know?
About my mother who survived breast cancer. One of my heros.
You laid there motionless as I sat, crying, by your bed./
I watched as the chemo dripped into your vains.../
They were poisoning you.../
Every night you used to tuck me in,/ tell me how my stuffed animals would go out on adventures while I slept.../
I knew those days were gone.../
I still remember the day it all started./ Average day at that hell of a middle school./
You pulled up, I got in the car, it was quiet, I knew something was wrong, then the words came out of your mouth.../
You had cancer./
From that moment forth, day after day, week after week, Treatment After Treatment./
I saw you withering away before my eyes./
What used to be a beautiful head of hair,/ had become skin./ You aged, my mother was changed./
Now although my mother is better now,/ I've watched as several people left this world by the hand of this disease.../
Too many children have had to watch a parent wither away before their eyes,/
And lost them./
My Heart Goes Out To You,/ Live On.../ It's all they want for you.
I bought my house for its mirrored walls
in the master bath from which you could fancy
yourself as a forties' film star, your flawless
body soaking in billowing suds, or stepping into
a glassed-in shower, large enough for a tryst
with Tarzan, be he resident of a nearby tree.
I imagined Don Perignon cooling in a basin,
and me: Maureen Sullivan, with or without an
Ape Man, poised for my swinging life, coupe
in hand. Instead, stumbling in half-light toward
morning ablutions on the quotidian blank page
of my life, mirrors conjured up not Hamlet's
perturbed, parental spirit, but a woman with my
mother's face. In her summer frock, frenzied
with flowers, prim white hat, and a crocheted bag
in the crook of her arm, she is standing on
the sidewalk outside my grandmother's white-
columned house in Georgia, where she sought
safe haven before a failed life, Jack Daniels
whiskey, and the cancer monster claimed her.
"So easy to spoil" it was said, so how is it life did
not work for her? -- "My beautiful, beautiful
daughter, wailed my grandmother like a banshee,
she, of the stiff, upper-lipped Prussian forbears,
as we drove forty solemn miles to lay her favorite
in Rebel heaven alongside a great-grandfather who
lost an arm at the battle of Cold Springs, his
grim-faced wife, bedrock beside him.
Peace was the prize my mother never won,
no treaty ever offered, pardon long in coming.
I see her poised like a dancer, sad history
surrounding her, a smile as unreadable as Mona
Lisa's under eyes like mine that have seen too
much of the sorrow of this world. "It all
comes down to this," Anne Sexton wrote, "We
ARE our mothers--that's the main thing."
You tell me to show you my pain,
Declare me insane when I bleed the veins,
Weather change as I speak the rain,
Stand over Judy's grave,
As I become society's slave,
Apply the stress to my chest,
Nest and rest as I play with your ********,
So dangerous when you live spontaneous,
Don't be oblivious and remain cautious,
Read the red lines in real times,
Don't be unkind to the blind,
Cast no judgement because only god can judge me,
Speak your hypocrisy so religiously,
No real Christianity when it's all corrupted by society,
The democracy has brainwashed humanity so cleverly,
Money is taken from the poor and given to celebrities,
Government acts so rapidly to bail out the monopolies,
No one speaks against... afraid of a treason offense,
We steadily sit on the fence avoiding deadly objects,
Much respect to mother ****ers who are the "rejects",
Avoiding the evil serpent is my main objective,
From a different perspective you might see evil from different directions,
Causing the cancer infection hoarding the evil since we find it collective,
Body's torment keeps your emotions dormant,
Looking at your friend knowing the mother ****er is an informant,
It's important to keep your friends close... enemies closer,
Life imprisonment is the jury's final verdict,
Try to predict actions from foreign objects,
Can't stop it so I just try to remain constant,
The instant you take a infant makes you an evil sergeant,
The youth get pregnant and claim an accident,
Such a statement doesn't justify the child abandonment,
Mankind is heading for damnation constantly giving into temptation,
Avoiding hatred constipation you become a self medicated patient,
You claim I have no advancement since I work at a fast food establishment,
Bet you feel real accomplished since I make more then you washing dishes,
****ing *****es don't know the changes I made with multiple faces,
I broke out of the cages just to be rejected on blank pages,
I crawled out of the quick stand but apparently that means no ambitions,
Keep the cheek to tongue speech to all those who remain to leech,
I'm not bleak when I speak... Go suck off someone with vanerial disease,
I persuaded mother to provide you with visitation,
So your frustration taken out on me isn't appreciated,
It's so strange how incapable of change mankind remains,
Try to rearrange and steer away from the same,
Keep unprotected as the semen is injected,
Responsibilities neglected as you remain an adolescent
I went a little crazy tonight,
a little over the edge.
Reading the natal
chart prepared for me
by an astrologist in Poetry
class and it all rang too true,
and the bad
was hard to take
sitting there so alone
I began to cry
but not for your return
another path draws me now
I'll have to see
it through until the bitter end
or until it no longer matters,
until my mother's
creeping, bulging, bursting
tumors take over the body
the breast I nursed
the cancer I imbibed
my own breast barely saved.
What is our goal? the surgeon
said, and I said
Save the breast
and we did.
Now I'm in college,
at my age can you imagine
and I surely have some reading
to do and this higher
education is almost too much
sometimes but I love
it and hate that
I failed to pay attention
for several months and now
no one moves around in my
space except me and
I must have driven away
everyone and thing
has left me now but
I do enjoy my solitude
though not quite enough sometimes.
...Awww shoot the Female made me weak
This is the harmful plague that I seek
Come to think of it I always knew this would happen
Now I throw my head back with some cocky laughin
Since I was a shorty
Before my mom was forty
I had colossal drama
That came from mama
Beatin me for no reason
Holdin a band-aid to my wound as it wouldn't stop bleedin
Come to find out, the woman was weedin
I bit back beatin her ass so you know I was teethin
Then go to school had 3 girlfriends
If I could I would do the 4th grade over again
Callin me nappy-headed
My reputation was deaded
I still attracted them though because I'm level-headed
Had the nasty clothes
Big snotty nose
It didn't stop me from pullin hoes
Front chipped tooth
Damn the chipped-tooth
Years passed I cleaned up
Sex appeal up
Got in relationships
Had lots of dips
Virginity gone at sixteen
Now I'm a sex machine
But this is a disease
That needs a vaccine
Marvin's mother told me exactly what it means
Come to find out I've been lookin for a mother figure
This what made this emotion cancer trigger
And it all started as a little boy
That's when I became the Female's toy
A bitch needed a guy to hire, I am who they employ
That's why this plague
I need to destroy...
I do not know?
A note goodbye
Wrapped in an envelope
Flew from under my door
As I grabbed the knob.
No return address
Just a memory
That will haunt me
Ripping this mystery open
Without the slightest bit
Is what I pulled from
Written in perfect cursive
Upon the ink.
From my mother
Whom passes away
So many years ago.
"To my dearest daughter,
Tonight is my last night in this world
The cancer is eating me alive
While I suffer with my hairless head
And my aching body.
This note will not be discovered
For years to come,
When it is in your hands
Don't not share it with the world.
I love you, daughter. You were my everything. Never forget that.
With all my love,
Tears soon fall upon
Smearing all it's words
She calls her family together
To tell each one goodbye
From the oldest to the youngest
Her children begin to cry
She's fought this fight for many years
But this cancer is much too strong
Her will to live is fading fast
And she knows it won't be long
Her daughter asks when she'll be back
She's too young to understand
Only four years old, a tear escapes
As she holds her mother's hand
She says, "Mama you have to hurry back,
For I'm going to miss you so"
She climbs into her mother's bed
And begs her not to go
Her mother tells her not to cry
As she wipes her tear stained face
I'll always be inside your heart
You'll carry me every place
I'll be the breeze that kisses your cheek
When sadness comes to call
I'll be the smell in the autumn leaves
That ushers in the fall
I'll be your comfort when times get bad
And in everything you lack
And as her mother passes away
She whispers, "Hurry Back"
That day has been branded when my world did stop
I experienced new meaning to that word called shock
How that womb through which I was first brought into life
has now been rendered so void having gone under the knife
While doctors and medicine had been one form of plight
living with cancer had imposed its own fright
So when her will to live seemed to be giving up the fight
My world around me began to look very blight
What words and what feelings can overcome
that moment of emptiness standing under the sun
How naked and shallow does all reality take
when your meaning for life gives you nothing but ache
What reflections would weigh, when my tears started
other than my mother before me, my mother now departed
A soul has been released from our world below
no longer to bring me her smile with her loving hello
Too far gone
His minds so lifted
A soul so gifted ,but dragged beneath the ground
6 feet deep lies his intentions
He not doing much, just living
Not trying much ,but what he’s given
He doesn’t read and has no needs other than looking flying and gettin some b!&*^es
But with his momma is where he's living, with no ambition
this sits heavy on her heart
Single mom working so hard
do it all alone, all on her own
18 years all for a failure
18 years giving him what she was failed to her
for her son,
she lead a life marked with good intentions, but still missed the mark
She can't breathe at night thinking about her son, the black tar cancer marking her lungs
Out being a fool; slick by the tongue but dull by the brain
In her world the clouds are always low, theirs always rain
falling heavy on her conscience
The mother of a failure...feel her pain
Like a mother cradling a still born son
He’ll never grow; he'll never change
All her love in vain
Words of wisdom wasted on her bastard son
More like his father every day, soon he'll just run away
And honestly deep inside she cannot wait
Cause she's fighting tooth and nail in a battle that's already won
The world vs. a mother
The world has her son
My tinny girl
Let me taking you to your mother's side
She's worrying about you
Since the last Flowery Festival
Let us bring her happiness and joy
Stop searching broken dreams
In those dirty alleys of New York's alleys
Your mother is waiting
In the Brickfield of Texas
Come to your daddy
He's dying and cancer is eating both of them
Come home at once without any regret
We are going to take you back
We're going to forgive you
A hearty home.
having made her way out of the nest
having made something of herself
she rubs elbows with some of the city’s finest lawyers
balancing her own practice with a sad attempt at having a social life---
she calls home to her mother,
whom she visits every weekend upstate,
doing her grocery shopping &
doing whatever she can for her,
the whole while listening to a constant critique of
where she should be at the age that she is---
her mother insists that her daughter will not stay young forever,
saying she has no fashion sense,
always points out that she should try to go to the gym more often &
never ceasing to make time to moan about wishing that she had grandchildren,
asking why a woman who is as successful as her daughter
cannot find a man---
the daughter doesn’t respond with anger & instead
stays up at night when mother has fallen asleep
working on cases &
watching her remaining youth drift away,
hundreds of miles away from the city she lives in
the other five days of the week---
her mother’s own cervical cancer which was recently detected
now is spreading &
she is meeting with doctors in the coming weeks to begin radiation---
her daughter hopes that surgery is possible &
wonders if the operation will force her mother into a more compromised position
where she will no longer be able to live on her own---
the daughter’s life could very well be uprooted altogether &
she could find herself stuck back in her home town
waiting on her mother hand & foot,
while still pretending to be able to practice law---
the clock is ticking &
her friends in the city
watch their lives prosper,
moving on in ways that this daughter
can really only dream of,
being weighed down by something
she never counted on happening
when she put it all in motion---
ever the more exhausted,
she started drinking a lot of coffee,
then moved onto caffeine pills &
after energy drinks & the lot didn’t work,
she moved onto a little coke to try & get herself
she tells herself that she won’t need it forever,
that it’s just for now
so that she can balance all that is happening in her life.
Jesus called you home today
Said your time was up
Please walk this way
Follow him through the Pearly Gates
As you step through Heaven's Door
Please remember these few words
Mother I will miss you so
I'm sorry you had to go
You were only 49 years old
But your time on Earth was done
Now it was time for you to be an Angel
I know you'll be there to watch out for me
Like you were when you where here
I am happy though
You don't have to suffer from the cancer and stroke
Jesus took your hand and lead you home
Showed you a new life to live
Even though you are truely missed
I know theres holes in the floor of Heaven
And your my guardian Angel
Watching out for me through my troubled times
You are still my guiding light
I love you mom but know its time
Cause Jesus called you home today
(Pink Ribbons and White Fluff)
Bright blue skies with
Brilliant white pillows of fluff,
Set the stage that glorious day.
Friends lined the streets
To cheer her on
Her Mom watched
From the comfort
Of her hospital room.
Tatum's heart was filled
With the passion to run.
She set her goals
High that day.
Even the strength
Of ten men might
Not have won
On that day,
She didn't have
The heart to lose.
She'd have to race
Up her flesh
Engine very high
And then shift it
Swiftly to cruise
In order to win
This zealous race.
Her Mother's blues
From the challenges
Of breast cancer
Gave her the
To run for the
Boobs that day.
Her mother had the
Courage to kick the
Booze years ago,
But breast cancer
Was not as easy.
For raising the funds
For the advancement
Of breast cancer research
Was her main focus,
That bright glorious day.
It would be an honor
To help find a cure
For such a ruthless
Disease that women
Succumb to yearly.
Warm streams of tears
Mixed with salty sweat
And tangy Gatorade
Face that evening,
When she was
Presented with a
Check and a bright
Pink ribbon trophy.
She placed second
In the race,
Was a start.
The smile on
Her mother's face
Was what really
Filled her heart with
Fluff that glorious night.
without you mother its so hard to bear this awful pain
to not have you in our life, is a harder heal to gain
you left us so suddenly at the young age of 45
to hug and hold you in my arms for just a little while
to kiss your cheek,and maybe see you smile
no more heartache, no more pain, even though cancer is to blame
god needed another angel, so he called your name
and you had to leave behind all those you truly loved
when heavens gates opened for you from up above
even though we'll miss you, i know your in a better place
i cant wait till the day i see your beautiful face.
so rest in peace my dear mother until we meet again
because without you mother my love will never end
The mask that i wear is about not expressing
myslf, i can't do it alone i need some
I can't do this alone I need some help.My grandmother has cancer and goes
through a lot of pain and agony, no longer
can she take care of the family. She moans
and groans, never does she laugh. I could
see why: who would laugh with pain like
that. I could see the african americans now
running to freedom, they weren't slaves
nobody could keep 'em. Like moses who freed
over 300 slaves, she stayed in the water
where she would wade. I can't wear this mask
any longer, to take it of i must stay
being a cancer makes me susceptible to the energy that surrounds me
it also makes me aware of my downfalls
i am a baptist but hardly pray
i am a Christian but don't remember the last time i sat through a service
I am a mother yet have not given birth
yet i carry too many sins to burden my father with
the sins of my mother have followed me
no she ain't no addict
no she ain't a hoe
she aint nothing but a woman who loves too much
i am of my mothers breast
i am of my mothers worst and her best
i am part my father yet my mother does not care to realize
i am a hustla
not cause i need to be but because i can
i am a bitcc not cause i mean to be
but to be a bitcc is bitter sweet
I am a beautiful woman
yet only skin deep
i have made grown men absolutely weak
i am not a savior
if i was i would have been there when Katrina hit
built a boat bigger than noahs ark and sailed out of that place
but it wouldn't have been free of charge
because to whom much is given
much is required
I would have been there when Sean Taylor got shot
to be blunt i would have let him get hit but not at his life's expense
not at the cost of his daughter living a probable legacy of "absentee daddy"
or growing up only knowing her fathers past as a man who just started turning his life around
not at the sheer belief that anything he did in his past deserved what caused that breath
to be his last
now see i'm no savior
cause i would have had the tongue
to talk those 9 eleven high-jack asses into jumping "in the name of Allah"
these are my thoughts
opinions are like assholes
that brings me to Kanye West
i don't know that brother
And confidence doesn't mean arrogance
but-shouldn't he have regurgitated the lessons of beauty he was taught
back to the person who taught them to him
A beautiful intelligent talented creative human life lost
fame was the cost
some times smart people do dumb things
sometimes i don't recognize my own blessings
sometimes i forget to say thank you to my guardian angel
sometimes i don't listen
I just speak
I said I’m sorry or what was done
But I guess it wasn’t sincere because I’m being destroyed by the bitterness in
Although I hide it with a smile, a joke, or laughter when in reality I’m continuously
in sorrow crying on the inside because I’ve cried so much my tears have become
dry and I programmed myself to make my tears go in reverse so I only cry on the
Some days it’s easy to hide and some days it’s not
It’s like a cancer rapidly killing me mentally
It would be easier to be true if you didn’t give so many empty promises
If you talk to me and not at me
But I’m not occupied to judge
Just to forgive and ask for forgiveness
It’s just hard to forget
But I will stop trying to forget, so I can look out for the same thing from happening
since I was 7
A continuous cycle that has been going on
Yet I will dig deep in the black hole that I have formed with the bitterness that has
tried to consume my soul
For the lack of communication hiding my feeling
Excluding one of you like the brother of the prodigal son
For missed birthdays, your days, graduations, and communications
With saying this a ton has been lifted
Unfortunately it hasn’t been said so I maintain with the weight of this
Living life on the edge because tomorrow is promised to one and that one is no
So I’m endangered of dying in regret and without reconciliation of my
As I sit and write I find it hard to tell-a story of a man a story hard to sell
as a child fatherless was his greatest gift -you see his mother was both, as if
through good times and bad-the woman alway made him fill he had a dad
stand strong,stand tall- loving words she gave as she never would crawl,
she knew her fillings she could never show-you see tears were never part as you know,
she worked hard and did her best-but time after time life brought her a test,
he left when the forth was three months old-days were hot as the nights were cold
another man leaves another child-yet she was positive always with a smile,
seven kids she gave life-seven kids yet left lonely and cold ...the forgotten wife,
poverty and cancer were her biggest fights-I think it was loneliness in the night,
as her kids grew and left her alone-most cried about there dad never being home,
with there life's lost in regret-one moved forward giving her the up most respect,
time went on as her eyes faded like night-he could see she no longer wanted to fight,
she dried her tears and put on that smile-you know son I felt this way for awhile,
listening to her he seen life took it's toll-his mom his light grew old,
as tears fell from all eyes- lying her to rest he remembered being by her side,
he found happiness as the birds carried her away-moms gone to a better place today
no more tears no more lonely nights-looking around he seen this was now there fight,
they all raged and cried-not this one he had opened up his eyes,
to this day there still looking-for him his life was her smile and up he was looking,
years have past and came the news-the eldest father was ill and dew,
as they asked with remorse-he never bated an eye he never lost changed course,
it may sound mean even a bit cold-but you see his dad passed as the story told,
only one made him who he is-she rest above with a smile just like his,
he has no regret or anger-he didn't know the man who was his father,
nothing bad to say nothing good-she was my dad and this I understood.
Doctors are Beautiful
Nurses are Beautiful
Flowers are Beautiful
Balloons are Beautiful
Bright smiles are Beautiful
Clowns making funny animals figures are Beautiful
Friends holding your hand are Beautiful
Moms Dads Brothers and Sisters are Beautiful
Chemotheraphy is Beautiful
Never giving up the fight is Beautiful
But whats most Beautiful is
Bald being more Beautiful
Tribute To Cancer
Survivers and Victims
May They Find A Cure
RIP Mama 1934 -2005
I do not know?
Two days before Christmas Eve in New York City.
A little girl named Hope had the heart of a giant at the age of seven years old.
Hope and her loving parents where all together decorating the Christmas tree.
Hope asked her mother, “Mommy will I ever see Jesus and all the angels”.
“One day when it’s your time”, said her mother.
“It would be nice to visit grandma again”, said Hope.
Her mother told her, “You know she’s always looking down on you”.
“Really”, she asked her father with a big smile.
That night Hope woke up with a stomach ache.
“Daddy, daddy my tummy is hurting again”, Hope cried to her father.
He told her, “Alright let’s get some medicine from the cabinets”.
A little while later Hope got really sick.
She was taken to the nearest hospital.
The doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong.
Running tests over and over.
Still nothing showed up on the screen until they x-rayed on her stomach.
Finally an answer was found, but a cure was not.
It was all too late for little Hope.
She had developed cancer and it was on the final stage.
Any moment would be time for her to go.
Her parents cried in deep sorrow, thinking how to tell their child that she’s going to
Hope’s parents walked in the room trying fighting the tears from their eyes.
They asked their daughter, “Sweetie do you remember about the place called
“That’s were God lives”, Hope said
Her father said, “Well pretty soon you’re going to take a trip there”.
She asked, “Will I get to meet Jesus and all the angels?”
Tears began to rolling down their eyes as they hugged their little girl goodbye.
The funeral was held on a beautiful Sunday morning.
Hope’s mother couldn’t bear the pain any more.
The next night she had a dream about her daughter.
“Mommy I’m coming to tell you that I love you”, Hope said.
She continued, “I know you miss me when you cry but forever I will always be with
“Tell daddy I love him too and grandma sends her love”.
“I got to meet all the angels and even Jesus too”.
“It’s almost time for me to go back”.
“Don’t worry about me because now grandma and I are watching over you”.
I do not know?
Her lips once kissed away my salty tears,
and spoke comforting words in my ears.
They would brush against my fevered brow,
They’re coldly still and silent now.
Her hands once held my tear-stained face,
and smoothed stray hairs back in place.
Talented strokes, artistically blessed,
They’re folded neatly now upon her chest.
Her arms once kept my fears at bay,
and swung me around on happier day.
They hugged, carried and embraced me with pride.
They’re motionless now by her side.
Her legs kicked balls and danced with me.
They ran races, jumped rope and climbed trees.
The familiar sound of her leisurely gait,
They’re unbending now and solemnly straight.
Her bosom once harbored a calming beat,
Where I knew I could always retreat.
Where my sleepless head once found solace,
Now it’s silently still, frozen in place
Her clothes once held a comforting scent.
The soft smell made me feel content.
Playing dress up on a rainy day.
Now, crisply starched they will stay.
Her body’s cancer did unfurl,
and painfully took her from my world.
A closed lid now hides her frail frame.
Mom is her name.
And the cancer crept up
Like a thief in the dark
It violated that body
Right from the start.
The cells became twisted
They didn’t know more
And the body succumbed
To the death at its door
The mind went to panic
And dangerously played
A hard game of torture
To the bodies dismay
The thinking and anger
Were there of no means
The wildness and tears then
Screamed out of a dream
The doctors all steps in
And did what they could
They cut and they hacked
And left what still stood
The treatment was started
And suppose to be good
It made that poor body
Feel not like it should
It was sick and distorted
It cried out in pain
It screamed out for mercy
No more of this game
Now then it lays there
And all the pains gone
The cancer is dead now
In this life it won.
I do not know?
You meant so much to all who knew you!
You were special and that's no lie!
You brightened up the darkest day.
And the cloudiest sky.
Your smile alone warmed hearts.
Your laugh was like music to hear.
I would give anything,
Absolutely anything, to have you well
And standing near.
Not a second will pass
When you're not on our minds.
You love, we will never forget.
The hurt "they say, will ease in time."
Many tears I have seen and cried.
They all poured out like rain.
I know that you are happy now,
And no longer in any pain.
Knowing all of this doesn't make
It any easier for those left behind to
Deal with the reality that you are
Mother, how I miss you.
Every waking day.
I curse the Cancer that took
I miss your warm hands.
I miss the talks we had.
I miss the times when words were
Of no need.
And I hope, my love you'll always feel.
Sitting here thinking about you.
I hear you call my name.
As I turn to see who's calling me
I see no one, Only hear your voice.
Still your calling out my name,
As the tears rolled down my face.
I realized your trying to tell me
Your safe, happy, and out of pain.
Although I will always love you
And miss you.
I know it's time to let you go.
Continue your journey, knowing
You will always be in our hearts.