“Good-bye my daughter dear,” she said
As tears welled up in her eyes
“It’s time for me to go to sleep
This must be no surprise
The good Lord knows my battles
And my health is ailing still
He’s given me so many blessings
I’ve passed them to you in my will
I’m sad to say good-bye
For we have shared much joy
Remember me to Sarah
My grandchild I love and enjoy
I love you my daughter
These years together have been sweet
I’m so glad you love the Lord
And again we will meet
I’m not afraid of dying
‘Cause I know that in a while
Christ will call me from my grave
I feel my life has been worthwhile
For I taught you to seek your Father
To help you through every trial
He’ll always be there to guide you
With never a denial
I leave you in His hands”, she said
As she gently kissed her daughter’s hand
Her eyes closed very slowly
Against cancer she’d lost her stand
She’d been a wonderful mother
Teacher and true friend
Faithful to her Lord
And gracious to the end.
Copyright © Maureen LeFanue 2007-2012
sometimes in mass
as sacred songs
wash over me like rain,
I break free
and again you rise,
your tears flow
as tears fill my eyes,
your dying breath
after so many years,
the knife still cuts
and again, and
(20 May 2015)
My name is James, born 1961
In Inverness, a small Scots town
To my father Andrew, and my mother Beryl
And Billy my brother, a pair of devils
In 67, we woke one night
Our house was ablaze, full of orange light
Our neighbour next door, for whatever reason
Started a fire, it must be crazy season
We had too move to a caravan park
By this time it,s three, to make a new start
My mother Beryl decide to leave
But the three of us left, never bothered to grieve
In the next few weeks, we ended in court
Two small children, in a marriage abort
We were asked to choose either Dad or Mum
But we ignored the parent, who went on the run
As we left the court, to start a new life
We felt sorry for Dad, as his illness was rife
He never told us that he was unwell
It would upset one of his boys, as the future will tell
Then came the night all parents dread;
Being told one of his boys is nearly dead
We were going to a boys club, on a Monday night
My brother was running so far out of sight
I turned the corner to see him ahead
No!! he's been hit by a van, Boom's Boom's dead
I ran to my father, sreaming and crying
I'm finding my life,at 7 - far too trying
After the funeral, and with my father unwell
We left Inverness, our eyes a swell
To go as two, and not three as before
It's like Mother Nature closed a door
So we headed west, to a place called Fort William
Was it in the stars, cause Billy " is " William
We moved there, as the air was so pure
Hoping my father will find his cure
For whatever reason, we left the above
We found no Angel or peaceful dove
So we headed back to Inverness
Fathers health decreasing, life still a stress
Over the next few years, i was fostered and loaned
In couples houses and children's homes
It was really strange in all those places
Different people, different faces
Then on the 16th of Feb - 76,
James, i was told, your dads very sick.
The cancer had taken your father away
To be with Billy, where you'll join them one day
In 77, i joined the Navy, as i promised my dad you see.
I did'nt enjoy it, i decided to leave
Back up north, where my futures to be
I wanted to have, what my parents had lost
And that was my aim, no matter the cost
see page 2 of 2, ty..
What's most inportant in life?.... today
not tomorow but now,
Now is for living, loving, giving...today
yesterday has memories good and bad
but today is for you and Dad.
You see people rushing, pushing, shoving
everyone in a hurry,
wishing the time away.
If only they would stop and think
they're wishing their lives away,
I want to stop them and say
tomorow is not inportant,
live for ....today
That's what's inportant,
they should stop and think
It is today that matters,
Every day there is new life
in leaves and flowers
We must enjoy every waking moment
To wake up to the sun shinning through the windows,
the warmth it brings
the birds that sing
Jem you are in our thoughts each day
you are very special,
so go on live for .......TODAY and TODAY
and TODAY and TODAY and TODAY............................
Listening, reaching for the Ideal,
her wanderlust- devoid of fear
Seeking the truth-
The Mother- crying for a thousand years
Of all the pain
They are killing Her in every way
Carcinogenic ants raging wars
Creating immortal scars,
Killing Her giving heart-
She cries... FEW know
But She shows me the way
"There still is a place,"
the Great whispered in my ear, "of where hush and lull
Free of the stinking, free of the rapists and killers
of My apportioned Nature."
So I listened and became raptured by the picture
She bestowed upon me;
A placidity, a serenity of depth and white
Where the pines yawn
And the constellations are radiant-
She begged me to try;
"Live my beautiful, faithful child
In the place of virgin
left only because THEY
cannot abide by it's harshness"-
"But YOU", she sang, "can consort with the beast and
the beauty to make all One, As I die
In all other places-
I leave you this small piece of Myself."
I screamed to her- Crying-"But You, knowing of All- giver of All
Why abandon Your post?"
"Because The cancer is burning My eternal flesh into
Only I am no longer eternal."
and I understood- and I followed her lead
Now I stand in a place known to few,
To Her, to me, and to the silent melody
Of Wildness and White
My eyes filled With joy as I heard Her caring moans
singing to Sister Moon -
Through an assemblage of wolves,
as She winks at me through blue, pink and radiant emerald
I know I am home.
Honorable Mention in Mac Mcgovern's contest "Your Best Poem".
You do not stand alone in your Battle
Your battle is our Battle
We may not be there in body
But we are there with you in Spirit
We are there in every beat of your Heart
In every whisper of the wind
In every thought and every touch
Every breath and every sound
We are there with you
You are wrapped in an Endless chain of Love
In every link we each send you a part of us
We send you some of our Strength
Some of our will to Fight
Some of our Courage
The most important of them all
We send you all of our Love
If you feel you need more
Just give that Endless chain a little tug
And we'll be there
Tug til you need us no more
Then we'll know you've gone Home
5/09/2014 Dedicated to my Aunt Nini, Wilma Thomas Gamble for Mother's Day. Sadly she lost her Battle w/ Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer on 5/30/2014.
He was sitting cross legged at 15th and Market
The people would walk around him during the workweek
He sat chatting with his cat
The cat was named Mr Johnson and they were friends
The man had skin cancer on his nose in the form of a bloody mole
And there were days when he sat talking with the Mole
The Mole would chastise him saying,"If your mother could only see you now."
"If my mother could see me now it would be a miracle,"said the man
The man's mother had been dead for over 20 years
The Mole loved to get his back rubbed but the man was tired
So the Mole gave him the silent treatment
And Mr Johnson reached up and scratched the mole
"You musn't be mean to the man or I will not feed you Mole."
The Mole apologized to the Man
The man decided to tell the Mole a story and cat would add parts
He always added parts
There once was a flower
'It stood near a Disco tower, "added Mr Johnson
Its petals were yellow
"All good moles shout hello,"sang Mr Johnson
And the policeman was shaking the man and his mole
"Move along buddy."
Attempt at Burlesque
You wake up to your mother’s loving voice.
She has a gift for you that she knows you’ll love.
You close your eyes and hold out your tiny hands.
You feel something soft, but cold to the touch.
At the sight of it you let out a squeal of delight.
A pink ribbon.
You wake up to your piercing alarm.
It’s your high school graduation day.
You notice your mother smiling in the doorway.
She has a gift that she knows you’ll love.
Eyes closed, you feel a familiar sensation around your wrist.
A pink ribbon.
You wake up to the soft sound of weeping.
You find your mother downstairs, heartbroken.
She was clutching two things in her hands.
The first was a letter from the hospital.
You saw the other and knew it could mean death,
A pink ribbon.
You wake up to a methodical beeping.
You’re in a hospital room with your mother.
She runs a hand over you shaven head.
She has a gift for you that she hopes you’ll love.
Eyesight blurred from tears, you know that feeling.
A pink ribbon.
You wake up to your mother’s loving voice.
Someone’s at the door for you.
At the sight of them let out a squeal of delight.
The march has come to you!
Every person has what you love.
A pink ribbon.
My mom was a strong woman, and stubborn too,
Yet she had a soft side, between me and you.
That side she would show, when you least expected,
But let me tell you, she was well respected.
Mom was quite unique, and was one of a kind,
She was set in her ways, so keep that in mind.
The youngest of nine, she had gotten her way,
Spoiled by her siblings’, almost every day.
Right out of high school, she had married my dad,
Blessed with three children, plus fifty years they had.
They both were hard workers, in all that they did,
My dad taught himself, from when he was a kid.
My mom was a smoker, for forty-six years,
Some day it would happen, she’d face all her fears.
Lung cancer she had, and inoperable too,
Her time on this earth, would be shortened we knew.
Radiation and Chemo, had done their thing,
Remission set in, tears of joy it did bring.
We would go out at night, to shop and to talk,
I knew she enjoyed, getting out for a walk.
Two years had gone by, after Thanksgiving Day,
Her pain had returned, but was afraid to say.
She’d lie on the couch; it was strength she did lack,
We knew in our hearts, that the cancer came back.
We shared lots of laughter, but many a tear,
I tried to assure her, she’d nothing to fear.
“Please watch over your dad, this one thing I ask.”
“I know it will be, quite a difficult task.”
One morning in March, Hospice called us to say,
You may want to come, for she’s slipping away.
For the night before, mom told me to stay home,
“Be there for your kids, you can call me by phone.”
When we all arrived, for a moment she woke,
Her eyes said it all, not a word had she spoke.
We stayed by her bedside, just holding her hand,
“It’s time to let go mom, we all understand”.
A few days had passed, not ready to let go,
For it had been raining, but letting up slow.
The sun began shining, the clouds disappeared,
Opening the heavens, for mom’s time has neared.
We gathered together, her forehead we kissed,
Whispering so softly, how much she’d be missed.
“Your time has arrived mom, just follow the light”,
She left us so peaceful, she gave up her fight.
It was time to drive home, in the car we got,
Then something had happened, while leaving the lot.
Huge drops of rain falling, it had to be fate.
They were tears of joy; she was at heaven’s gate.
I cried for them this afternoon
Knew them since the matinee started
Saw them fall in love
At first sight, the world stopped
Everything was silent at the sight of it
They looked and were lovers
Later that day on their knees
Repeating vows that till today
They saw only in throw away plays
I cried for them, their lost love
But not for mother whose long life ended
By the Yankee Sluggers creeping disease
What was there to cry about?
As the blue ice calved from glacier slabs
Creased iron plates, made orphans, widows
And most aboard but not me or my mother
Or the yet unborn twice told tale
Tony was told she died, frantic with fear
He called out for her but got Chino instead
Saw her running to him, delirious with fear and joy
He got a bullet instead, tearing threw his back
Breaking his heart in half he fell into her arms
She covered his face with kisses and tears
And I too wept again for what could have been
What should have been for mother, died without my tears
For I knew not how to give!
Instead to those I gave tears so freely
But I knew them since the matinee started
Who cried for my three brothers
Charley, like Marley dragged his chains around
And spent a life time sawing them off, Michael who fell
From heaven one day, curly hair and welcoming smile
Orphaned by mother who just gave him away
Brain dead one day in June, the rest followed six months to the day
Brother Tom, large lonesome eyes never saw what the world wondered. Water boarded at age five, he left and never returned
Last month got cancer and died exactly one month later.
I cried today for the matinee lovers,
When I should have cried for them.
Maybe the guff was empty—Cancer full moon eclipse
Left field call on the black wall phone
faint cry from the distant end
spoke with throat lump of capital
disaster and a troddened womans most
everydom—lost before found—somehow Jan
knew and put forth a celestial no comment with
I-hope-I-am-wrong-love gesture for the
love torn bull awaiting a cancerfold friend
offspring no spring-perhaps next spring. Anna
soild Anna so poised of classic stock sometimes
never bending to an antiflexible Taurus mood
was caught in a never place, why of questions-
depleted character strikes. Will the blood
hordes rally for the fallen “fetalrade” and
heal the internal emohurt temperature
inferno of unknown bliss. Does it ever come
at the right instant? Like where’s a cop when
you really need one—maybe 7-11 therapy would
bring solice and peace. Forgive the forgiver
and pass your sense into another ability
Keep your mind and your soul for the little
lost egg. I don’t know know or could never compromise
no more of a complex juxtaposition of life
and death than that of biobeings so
closely connected that share the same
existance, one within-one yet
percent infinity bonded in a tidewater
liquid symbiosis that no manbeing in time
past or future will hope to match let alone
entertain. Be that as it may, you’ve felt the
sting of life and the creation of flesh for a brief
moment of time in time and time is that holder of all
events we hope to achieve—your time in both
will come to be—you will share
and create from within, and not waiver
about the fallbacks we run down for
no explanations from anyone will suffice
or reason to make a whole sense of such
a fathomless inconsistency. I felt your
loss deep in my knees and thoughts flew
to your little soul upstairs. There are words
and there are no words—my deepest senses
to you and Dana—I know it will happen for you
as all things come to pass for those deserving dave collins
She heard her name and awoke from her sleep,
as she heard her mother's voice she started to weep.
The memory of her death so clear in her mind,
she hoped her pain would mend with time.
She wonders what it would be like had she still be alive,
years have passed their bond no wedge could drive.
She yearned to see her grandkids grow old,
now she awaits for Jesus with hands that fold.
One lilac was left it was still in bloom,
it was placed in her hands as her spirit left the room.
She read a letter to her mother as she lay,
after all it was Mother's Day, a sad day in May.
She said please don't forget me I'll not be far,
her memory instilled in her like an old aged jar.
She kissed her forehead on her last Mother's Day,
as the hearse so carelessly took her away.
She sleeps in her grave as she is beckoned to come home,
where she no longer hurts with angels she'll roam.
Where the lilacs bloom that's where mother lives,
she lives through her children with love she fondly gives.
I am all alone in this great big world
My destiny is being unfurled
I am responsible for my plight
And what I may do tonight
There is no one else to put my shame
Only me, myself, and I to blame
What did I do wrong you may ask
Only I can unburden my task
She is gone so you maybe you can see
Her lost dreams are my reality
She passed on an October day
Leaving my boy behind with me to stay
It is a daunting thing this boy of mine
Looks like his mother time after time
I love my boy he is much like me
I just want him to be happy
I have been told time and time again
That I need to reel my boy in
I don’t see that he is doing any harm
He has gone through hell, that’s his yarn
His mom’s dreams were so easy to see
She wanted the best for him and me.
I have a big guilt because she is gone
And left me the ability to carry on
I only wish that I would have done the same
A love like hers was hard to explain
I left her for another a long time ago
Before I knew about the cancer so you know
When the news came that she was ill
I really wanted to take a bunch of pills
Pills to ease my guilty pain
Of leaving the woman I loved out in the rain.
To my son, if you ever read these words of prose
Please take the time to ensure that everybody knows
That I loved your mother very much indeed
And you were the product of love not a misdeed
I sit here with a tear running down my face
Trying to find another to replace
The girl I loved more than anything at all
Except you my son, you are the apple
The apple of my eye the fruit of my loom
My entire existence is for you to bloom
Your mother and I are proud of you
And are happy you are succeeding in all you do.
Son I hope you will forgive me for things I’ve done
I have one life to live and mistakes can’t be undone
I hope I will be forgiven in the afterlife
And be reunited with your mother and my wife.
I hope your pain eases as you grow older
Never forget, but get bolder
You are almost a man in this big world
Please learn from my mistakes before you unfurl
Your mother and I will be waiting for you
With our arms wide open to rescue
Rescue you from this world of pain
To come live in heaven with us again
Duane LaChance Sr. - 2012
Time seems to drag on and on
when you want it to go slow
but now its moving way to fast
because i might have to let you go
You've been here all my life it seems
everyday by and by
so it shouldn't be too confusing
that losing you could make me cry
Please don't leave me mommy
stay with me please stay
don't let it be the C word
mom you cannot go away
I cannot lose someone like you
someone who's always been there
and the thought of you lying there so cold
mom it's just not fair
That thing that scares us will be nothing
let's just wait and see
because there's one thing god won't do
and that's take you from me
< "Hark" the Herald Angels begin to sing
"Jesus"patiently awaits so her children can say their last goodbyes
Cancer is the one thing she will not have to bring
For she earned her wings and is now free to fly
Perception Of Heaven's Contest
He's drempt of his mama in her garden of love,
surrounded by angels in heaven above.
Peaceful waters flow through a bubbling brook,
where her roses grew in every little nook.
She cherished the roses he had bought for her in life,
capturing their beauty and the colors of their sight.
When she was ill he knelt beside her bed,
and handed her roses with the tears that he shed.
She said don't cry for me it's beautiful over there,
where they climb so gracefully up Heaven's golden stair.
He visits her grave and places roses in her cup,
rest assured with Jesus she forever sup.
The rose bush he planted for her still grows today,
just as it did when Jesus took her away.
No sickness nor pain she can smell once more,
as she embelishes in her roses surrounded by her door.
She said plant you some roses in rememerance of me,
as you stroll through my garden waiting for you I'll be.
If the doctor gave you a month to live
Could you keep that to your self?
Could you swallow your fear for thirty days
And keep your secret stealth
"You could possibly make it through Christmas", he said
"If there's chemo in your veins"
So she silenty took the treatment, once more
And still she never complains
She'd been in remission for seven years
But again it started to grow
Her children knew that the cancer returned
But her secret, they didn't know
She would only tell her brother the news
And he swore he wouldn't tell
So Christmas finally came and went
But it was to be their last Noel
Then on the tenth day of January
She took her secret to her grave
After she died her children were told
Of this sacrifice she gave
She wanted this Christmas to be the best
A Christmas like no other
For she didn't want her kids to be sad
This woman was my mother
I do not know?
An afternoon stroll with a friend on a heated day,
Her hair perfectly swaying to her giggle bounce
Holding her tummy, simply stating
“I have a baby on the way”
Hugs, kisses, dreams and wishes
For this Mrs
The sun shining inside and out
So lucky she felt that day, she has a baby on the way
Baby’s daddy holds mommy’s hand
Says thank you honey, I love you so much
Our baby is lucky to have your heart
And I’m so blessed to wear your band
A visit to the doctor turned perfect joy into shock
You have cancer he told her
You won’t live with this life in you
Sit soon with your husband and have a talk
Hugs, kisses, dreams and wishes
For this Mrs.
The sun shines brightly on this day
Cause she still has her baby on the way
Her husband crying uncontrollable tears
Loving her so
He could never ever let her go
He can’t choose
he doesn’t want to lose
His wife or his child
She knew for her this baby was a voice
A wish she made so long ago
A wish come true
And there was no one telling her what to do
It was ultimately her decision, her choice
Six years have passed, and Emily asks,
“Daddy, when will I see mommy?”,
Today my sweet angel,
Hugs, kisses, dreams and wishes
For this Mrs
The sun still shining on this day
as Emily kneels to pray
Mommy had made her choice
And daddy still hurts so bad, he misses her smile, her touch
But he holds Emily today
with Mommy's light warming them both
His deep indescribable love for Emily sustains him
On her birthdays
Hugs, kisses, dreams and wishes
The sun still shining on this day
her hair perfectly swaying to her giggle bounce,
as she plays,
I do not know?
You walk the world cold-heartedly
not thinking to mourn
the life of which you chose to end
before it was even born.
What if it was a little girl?
She could have been your best friend.
Big blue eyes and piggy tails,
she could have had your grin.
Or what if it was a little boy
who loved his Mommy so..?
But Mommy didn't love him back,
she didn't let him grow.
She could have been a doctor,
and found the cancer cure.
He could have been a rock star,
and around the world he'd tour.
They could have cherry-topped the lives
of a loving couple somewhere
who tried and tried but couldn't seem
to have a child that was theirs.
But you're still "Mommy" either way,
so in heaven they'll wait for you.
To meet you, and hug you and hear you say
"My baby, I love you too."
When I preyed to you to save me, you laughed
When I prayed to god, I was ignored as well.
So I learned that I would always be alone in this world.
Every day filled with secrets I could never tell.
At ten I could drink your friends under the table.
I was barely afraid of what would happen in the dark.
I knew you were too drunk to hear me scream
And afterwards you refused to acknowledge my marks.
So I stopped trying to fight, I didn’t make a noise.
Because they would hit me less if I was quiet.
Soon I was filled with your same need to escape.
Every day I was on a search to find it.
If it promised oblivion, that was all I asked.
I immediately consumed it and waited for release.
But every time it wore off, I’d find myself there again
Always exhausted by my daily search for peace.
At first I misconstrued it for trying to get away from myself
Until one day I realized I was really running from you.
The spread of your fourth stage cancer of hatred and malice
And your unrelenting cycle of cruelty and abuse.
Your perpetual blame laid on me for your own mistakes
Finally had succeeded in taking its toll.
Years of fending for myself, succumbing to weakness
Had blackened my once pure soul.
For you I could harbor nothing but contempt, disgust.
The same lack of empathy you showed your own child.
I saw that you were at fault for my years of torment.
I made your rage, hatred, disregard appear mild.
I could never give you a strong enough taste.
All I wanted was for you to feel my Rapture.
You tried to silence me once again, tried to lock me up
But I wasn’t weak anymore and I refused to be captured.
I left you to your misery, I relished the fact
That leaving you with no one to catch you next time you fell
Was the most pain I could ever wish to conflict you with
Because then you would finally have to face your self.
Pale skin and eyes glazed over
Cancer, let him go
I do not know?
About my mother who survived breast cancer. One of my heros.
You laid there motionless as I sat, crying, by your bed./
I watched as the chemo dripped into your vains.../
They were poisoning you.../
Every night you used to tuck me in,/ tell me how my stuffed animals would go out on adventures while I slept.../
I knew those days were gone.../
I still remember the day it all started./ Average day at that hell of a middle school./
You pulled up, I got in the car, it was quiet, I knew something was wrong, then the words came out of your mouth.../
You had cancer./
From that moment forth, day after day, week after week, Treatment After Treatment./
I saw you withering away before my eyes./
What used to be a beautiful head of hair,/ had become skin./ You aged, my mother was changed./
Now although my mother is better now,/ I've watched as several people left this world by the hand of this disease.../
Too many children have had to watch a parent wither away before their eyes,/
And lost them./
My Heart Goes Out To You,/ Live On.../ It's all they want for you.
I do not know?
This is a note to mummy.
To say, ‘thank you so very much’.
I will miss your sweet kindness,
And your soft, warm touch.
As you lie there in your bed,
Smile as you read this,
Goodbyes are very hard,
But cherish my one last kiss.
You were my everything,
And, yes, you still are,
And when you are in heaven,
Hear my voice from afar.
Thank you for all you’ve done for me,
For loving me so well,
No one, not anyone
Can break our little spell.
Our spell is cast on hope,
Trust and perfect love,
And when you see the lord,
May he greet you with his dove.
Oh, mummy, please don’t go.
Don’t let cancer take you,
But if you really, really must,
I’ll say my final goodbye.
Daddy sends his love,
Well, he would if he only knew,
But I was afraid to tell him, mum.
After what he did to you…
So, as you lie there in your bed,
And as you slowly die,
In my prayers, you will always be,
For I am sure to cry…
Under a blue tint, sitting in eight seats
Me, plus six, minus one is my family
Dust to dust, now tears to tears
Only 50 short, hard and painful years
Symbol of pink outlined in a basket
Tisk for a tasket, twenty-three hundred dollar casket
A gift to the world, God’s newest baby
Hell or heaven, there is no maybe
Now life is gone, happy in a new home
A soul to her body no longer belongs
Light, pale pink lets cross it in a mink
Never tie my strings in a knot, because that’s what took you so to think
But before you go, let us lace you with pearls
And drip you with diamonds and make it aware to the world
That Breast Cancer has no name, nor a face
Just as a lump on your body doesn’t deserve a permanent place
Dedicated to Ms. Kimala Thomas
You tell me to show you my pain,
Declare me insane when I bleed the veins,
Weather change as I speak the rain,
Stand over Judy's grave,
As I become society's slave,
Apply the stress to my chest,
Nest and rest as I play with your ********,
So dangerous when you live spontaneous,
Don't be oblivious and remain cautious,
Read the red lines in real times,
Don't be unkind to the blind,
Cast no judgement because only god can judge me,
Speak your hypocrisy so religiously,
No real Christianity when it's all corrupted by society,
The democracy has brainwashed humanity so cleverly,
Money is taken from the poor and given to celebrities,
Government acts so rapidly to bail out the monopolies,
No one speaks against... afraid of a treason offense,
We steadily sit on the fence avoiding deadly objects,
Much respect to mother ****ers who are the "rejects",
Avoiding the evil serpent is my main objective,
From a different perspective you might see evil from different directions,
Causing the cancer infection hoarding the evil since we find it collective,
Body's torment keeps your emotions dormant,
Looking at your friend knowing the mother ****er is an informant,
It's important to keep your friends close... enemies closer,
Life imprisonment is the jury's final verdict,
Try to predict actions from foreign objects,
Can't stop it so I just try to remain constant,
The instant you take a infant makes you an evil sergeant,
The youth get pregnant and claim an accident,
Such a statement doesn't justify the child abandonment,
Mankind is heading for damnation constantly giving into temptation,
Avoiding hatred constipation you become a self medicated patient,
You claim I have no advancement since I work at a fast food establishment,
Bet you feel real accomplished since I make more then you washing dishes,
****ing *****es don't know the changes I made with multiple faces,
I broke out of the cages just to be rejected on blank pages,
I crawled out of the quick stand but apparently that means no ambitions,
Keep the cheek to tongue speech to all those who remain to leech,
I'm not bleak when I speak... Go suck off someone with vanerial disease,
I persuaded mother to provide you with visitation,
So your frustration taken out on me isn't appreciated,
It's so strange how incapable of change mankind remains,
Try to rearrange and steer away from the same,
Keep unprotected as the semen is injected,
Responsibilities neglected as you remain an adolescent
I went a little crazy tonight,
a little over the edge.
Reading the natal
chart prepared for me
by an astrologist in Poetry
class and it all rang too true,
and the bad
was hard to take
sitting there so alone
I began to cry
but not for your return
another path draws me now
I'll have to see
it through until the bitter end
or until it no longer matters,
until my mother's
creeping, bulging, bursting
tumors take over the body
the breast I nursed
the cancer I imbibed
my own breast barely saved.
What is our goal? the surgeon
said, and I said
Save the breast
and we did.
Now I'm in college,
at my age can you imagine
and I surely have some reading
to do and this higher
education is almost too much
sometimes but I love
it and hate that
I failed to pay attention
for several months and now
no one moves around in my
space except me and
I must have driven away
everyone and thing
has left me now but
I do enjoy my solitude
though not quite enough sometimes.
...Awww shoot the Female made me weak
This is the harmful plague that I seek
Come to think of it I always knew this would happen
Now I throw my head back with some cocky laughin
Since I was a shorty
Before my mom was forty
I had colossal drama
That came from mama
Beatin me for no reason
Holdin a band-aid to my wound as it wouldn't stop bleedin
Come to find out, the woman was weedin
I bit back beatin her ass so you know I was teethin
Then go to school had 3 girlfriends
If I could I would do the 4th grade over again
Callin me nappy-headed
My reputation was deaded
I still attracted them though because I'm level-headed
Had the nasty clothes
Big snotty nose
It didn't stop me from pullin hoes
Front chipped tooth
Damn the chipped-tooth
Years passed I cleaned up
Sex appeal up
Got in relationships
Had lots of dips
Virginity gone at sixteen
Now I'm a sex machine
But this is a disease
That needs a vaccine
Marvin's mother told me exactly what it means
Come to find out I've been lookin for a mother figure
This what made this emotion cancer trigger
And it all started as a little boy
That's when I became the Female's toy
A bitch needed a guy to hire, I am who they employ
That's why this plague
I need to destroy...
I do not know?
A note goodbye
Wrapped in an envelope
Flew from under my door
As I grabbed the knob.
No return address
Just a memory
That will haunt me
Ripping this mystery open
Without the slightest bit
Is what I pulled from
Written in perfect cursive
Upon the ink.
From my mother
Whom passes away
So many years ago.
"To my dearest daughter,
Tonight is my last night in this world
The cancer is eating me alive
While I suffer with my hairless head
And my aching body.
This note will not be discovered
For years to come,
When it is in your hands
Don't not share it with the world.
I love you, daughter. You were my everything. Never forget that.
With all my love,
Tears soon fall upon
Smearing all it's words
I sat there beside my Mom,
asleep on yellowed pillows, stained
by years of tobacco, tar dripping
from cypress wood panels,
her shallow breaths
cotton-candy hair, light grey;
bluest blue eyes behind
paper-thin lids, moving;
ragged cough, portending
but I didn't understand then,
I was just happy to be there.
She calls her family together
To tell each one goodbye
From the oldest to the youngest
Her children begin to cry
She's fought this fight for many years
But this cancer is much too strong
Her will to live is fading fast
And she knows it won't be long
Her daughter asks when she'll be back
She's too young to understand
Only four years old, a tear escapes
As she holds her mother's hand
She says, "Mama you have to hurry back,
For I'm going to miss you so"
She climbs into her mother's bed
And begs her not to go
Her mother tells her not to cry
As she wipes her tear stained face
I'll always be inside your heart
You'll carry me every place
I'll be the breeze that kisses your cheek
When sadness comes to call
I'll be the smell in the autumn leaves
That ushers in the fall
I'll be your comfort when times get bad
And in everything you lack
And as her mother passes away
She whispers, "Hurry Back"