Dimly lit, I sit
in a Mexican kitchen
near the Tropic of Cancer.
A TV is tuned
to inane noises;
dogs at my feet,
oranges in a bowl
on a table:
a specific place and time.
And I am dreaming --
dreaming of Louisiana
in twilight hours --
dreaming of short winter days and
summer's green, bright mornings.
Country time, mostly empty,
was quiet, seldom interrupted
by human utterance;
but my busy brain
was full of fantasy
The world was new, was big,
was yet to be explored;
possibilities seemed endless.
Oak and cypress,
willows, pines -- and magnolias --
were all around, and cane fields
stretched for miles.
The bayous that had always been there
were there still.
Change was slow in coming
and childhood lasted long.
I dream now of Louisiana:
poignant vignettes... dreamy glimpses...
and all those slowly fading
of the past...
This poem was inspired by my best friend and her troubles: )
We go out on our first date,
We go back to your house,
Your parents are asleep,
We go to your bedroom,
You tell me you love me and that you will take care of me,
I wake up thinking of last night your laying next to me holding me,
You wake up and look at me and smile,
You lean over and kiss me,
I feel like you are the best thing to ever happen to me,
You are my first love,
Little do we know what’s happening,
Nine months latter we are parents,
We are planning our marriage,
Our lives are set in stone now,
We are parents at age fifteen, engaged at age fifteen,
Life has just left our eyes,
Now we are two teens in love living on their own parents disowned them, child with them
drop outs of high school and working jobs to survive.
What a stupid mistake we made at age fifteen.
Under aged sex is not a smart choice unless you want my life….
Every day I go on Facebook to check on my wall, I just stare and wonder if I even know you people at all.
I go on Twitter to tweet a tweet, then on Instagram to share a random picture of my feet.
I post just about the most ridiculous things, including what I wear and what I eat.
I can't stand my page being blank and white, so I come up with a funny story, whenever I can't think of anything else to write.
If I'm really bored I might check out someone else's page instead, to post a rude comment about something they said.
I don't hang out with a lot of friends, but according to the internet, I have over a hundred and ten!
This is everyone's routine day by day, as we check posts, and secretly call each other names as we pass in the hallway.
We no longer have genuine compassion; instead we get straight to the point, something I like to call bashing.
We think it's normal to yell "Amy's having a baby and Mark is going crazy!"
Texting is another great hobby, I just got a message calling Amy a slut, and Mark's girlfriend a complete nut.
We call this our way to connect, but society is turning into a wreck.
Social media helps us to keep in touch, but I think it's the reason we haven't slept much.
Sometimes I stay on my phone till 4 in the morning, but who needs sleep anyways?
The internet is such a time consumer.
Its fast pace has even caught up to the late bloomers.
I think I’m going crazy; I can hardly go a day.
I wonder if other people are this way.
It’s such a distraction while I’m supposed to be doing homework.
But keeping up with all these statuses is already enough work.
You can find EVERYONE on Facebook!
From aunts to uncles and about a million girls named Brook.
Some people write about the most interesting things,
Including their relationships which have no strings.
Reminds me of Anita,
So easy to please, seems charming and wise, but easy for all the guys.
Meanwhile, Sammy is bullied until she sits there and cries.
Our eyes are glued to the screens that only causes affliction,
Welcome to social media, the world's latest greatest addiction.
Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook
God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.
Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.
Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.
Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.
Because I'm Ready To Grow Up
I have had enough
Enough with the happy times
I'm ready to take on the stress
No more playground or bubbles baths please
Enough with the piles and piles of mess
I'm grown up now ready for change
I had it with being a baby bird
I don't want to be fed I don't want to cry
I want to get out of the nest, spread my wings
I want to take flight in the sky so high
I had enough of the princess dresses
Get rid of those Barbie dolls
Throw away all those plastic high heels
And bring on the teenage texting of Lols
Don't u get it I've had enough
I'm ready to grow up to break out of the shell
I'm prepared to take on life's earthquakes
Waiting for the day when I'll have stories to tell
Princesses and fairies will never be real
There is nothing in the world that's free
You don't magically have a happy ending
All i can be in life is me
So I'm ready to grow up
To escape the magical world
For you have to earn whatever you want
Nothing comes in a pink sparkly twirl
So I've had enough
Rip my childhood apart
I'm happy to face the impending future
drown the happy memories in my heart
Eyes of Seminary – Zamreen Zarook
Every day in our lives has different fragrance,
God give us various things in abundance,
Day by day knowledge is gained in accordance,
Things depend according to the attendance.
Two years of studies,
Helped us to come out with various abilities,
Extremely joyful moments with buddies,
But life said every aspect has its boundaries.
Teachers become very friendly,
They approach us very kindly,
They speak on us exaggeratedly,
Because they know, if not we might behave badly.
Big shots in the school boundary,
These are years of foundry,
It helped us to find and go for laundry,
Marvelous days, fully packed with sundry.
Various angles the kith and kins are civilized,
It’s because our knowledge is enhanced,
Guys and girls turned well experienced,
That’s why we call it levels of advanced.
A temptation unlike myself unfurls
(Everyone’s here asking if I was in the hospital)
The shadow of movement has passed on,
And a cold electric scatters away from a scorched tree.
Our mutual acquaintance says hello to me again,
He was at the rehearsal and said you wanted us all to be closer
Why hasn’t your mother shown up yet?
I’m leaving this place hating you,
And I hear that you think we’re best friends
The sun strays out from beyond a great building jutted into an afternoon breeze.
I do not know?
The year has passed,
so long ago,
And now its time for us to go
We've said or prayers,
So spread your wings,
its time to fly
We wont forget our childhood here
But now its time for
A Brand New Year.
I do not know?
Homework oh' homework
All kids say it stinks,
They say they wont do it,
but that it would disappear once they blink,
They say who invented it;
and who brung it forth,
They say they wish teachers would stop giving it,
And all though I agree
Homework is a good thing,
It will help you, you'll see
It will help tomorrow, today,
and years later
It will help you be smarter
it'll help you participate
So don't say that you hate it
All though you clearly do, because
you know that you need it
OUR BABY GIRL TURNS 21
ON 1ST JULY 1990~ THE ANGELS DID SOMETHING ALMIGHTY
FROM HEAVEN THEY SENT US OUR LIFE-LONG DESIRE-A PRECIOUS DAUGHTER TO LOVE AND ADMIRE.
TRUE TO YOUR NATURE YOU ARRIVED WITHOUT FUSS OR PAIN--THE FIRST TIME OUR EYES MET WE KNEW OUR LIVES WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME
AS A BABY AND TODDLER YOU MADE US SO PROUD
YOUR VERY LONG HAIR, GREEN EYES AND SMILE-
ALL THOSE GOOD LOOKS MADE YOU STAND OUT IN A CROWD
YOU STARTED TALKING EARLY WITH MANY VOICEPRINTS
YOUR CHARM AND GOOD LOOKS HAVE NOT STOPPED SINCE
YOU LOVED YOUR DOLLS AND PRAMS-- DREAMT OF BEING A “SINGER”
AND VERY QUICKLY LEARNED HOW TO WRAP YOUR DAD AROUND YOUR LITTLE FINGER
YOUR BIG BROTHER DEVON--BEST FRIEND AND PROTECTER
MOST OF THE TIME YOU GOT ON PERFECTLY TOGETHER
FROM AN EARLY AGE YOU SHOWED YOUR LOVE OF SWIMMING
AGE TWO AND A HALF YOU WERE ABLE AND WILLING
TO SWIM UNDER WATER AND DO MANY LENGTHS
THIS WAS CLEARLY ONE OF YOUR SPORTING STRENGTHS
AT AGE THREE YOU COULD BARELY WAIT TO START PLAYSCHOOL
“MISS INDEPENDENCE”, WAS YOUR GENERAL RULE
THE SLIDE AND JUNGLE GYM WERE YOUR FAVOURITE SPOTS
AND TO OUR HORROR YOU WOULD CLIMB RIGHT TO THE TOP!
AT AROUND THIS TIME, YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND YOU MET-
HE LIVED NEXT DOOR, AND HIS NAME WAS BRETT
SOON IT WAS TIME FOR PRE-SCHOOL
YOU LOVED YOUR TEACHER--YOUR NEW FRIENDS WERE COOL
‘SPRING BONNETS’ AND THE END OF YEAR SCHOOL PLAYS
THE TEDDY BEAR CLASS GAVE YOU SOME REAL SPECIAL DAYS
NEXT WAS ‘BIG SCHOOL’ AND YOUR FIRST CLASS
WE WERE SERIOUSLY ANXIOUS BUT FOR YOU JUST ANOTHER ‘MISS INDEPENDENCE’ TASK
LETTERLAND, MATHS AND LEARNING TO READ
YOU EXCELLED AT ALL THAT WITH INCREDIBLE SPEED
YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS CONTINUED THROUGH GRADES 2, 3 AND FOUR
YOUR PLACE IN THE SWIMMING TEAM HELPED YOUR SCHOOL WIN MORE
OUR MOVE TO AUSTRALIA… SAD FAREWELLS TO YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR PETS
BUT, GREAT EXCITEMENT YOU FELT AT ADVENTURES TO BE MET
A NEW SCHOOL--“METHODIST LADIES COLLEGE”
NEW FRIENDS--JUMPING A GRADE-- MET WITH SUCH POSITIVE COURAGE
YOU MADE US SO PROUD IN THE WAY YOU ADAPTED
MRS. WILLIAMSON SAID YOU WERE THEIR NEW CLASS ‘ASSETT’
THE ‘MR BEE’ SPELLING AWARD AND MANY MERITS LATER
WE ALL GOT HOMESICK-- BUT YOUR POSITIVE NATURE DID NOT WAVER
THE DECISION WE MADE TO RETURN TO CAPE TOWN
CAUSED YOU HEARTBROCKEN TEARS AND A PERMANENT FROWN
ONCE AGAIN A SAD FAREWELL TO YOUR NEW FOUND FRIENDS
RETURNING TO S.A. FOR OLD ONES TO MAKE AMMENDS
IT WASN’T VERY LONG THAT YOU PICKED UP WHERE YOU LEFT OFF AT ALL
ADDED TO YOUR TALENTS WERE NOW TEAM HOCKEY AND NETBALL
AS YOU APPROACHED THE FIRST OF YOUR TEEN YEARS
WITH YOUR LOOKS AND CHARM, INEVITABLY THE BOYFRIENDS WOULD APPEAR
SHOPPING, MOVIES AND MANY PARTY SLEEP-OVERS
CHOOSING TRUE FRIENDS AND DUMPING THE LOSERS
DANCE SHOWS AND DANCING EXAMS… YOU EXCELLED AT HIP- HOP
FUN AND OF COURSE THE DESIRE TO SHOP
THE END OF JUNIOR SCHOOL-- THE FINAL ASSEMBLY—AWARDS
TROPHIES FOR SPORTSMANSHIP AND YOUR S.R.C. PRIZE GOT MANY APPLAUDS
SAD FEELINGS AT LEAVING YOUR OLD SCHOOL BEHIND
EXCITEMENT AT STARTING HIGH SCHOOL WOULD SOON COME TO MIND
NO PROBLEM TO YOU, IT WAS ALL JUST A BREEZE
AS YEAR BY YEAR YOU CONTINUED TO ACHIEVE
SWIMMING AND ‘A’ TEAM HOCKY MATCHES ON THE ASTRO TURF
YOU EVEN STARTED TO LEARN HOW TO SURF
FRIDAY AFTERNOON CHRISTIAN MEETINGS AND EVENING CHURCH YOUTH
WE WERE SO HAPPY YOU FOUND GOD AND HIS TRUTH
THE REST OF HIGH SCHOOL PASSED IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE WHILE
YOUR LIST OF ACHIEVEMENTS REMAINED EXCEPTIONALLY HIGH
YOUR ORGANISATIONAL SKILLS WERE ASTOUNDING
COPING WITH TOUGH SUBJECTS LIKE MATHS, SCIENCE AND ACCOUNTING
IN HOCKEY AND SWIMMING YOU MADE THE TOP TEAMS
NO SURPRISE AT ALL THAT SWIMMING COACHES MOVED IN ON THE SCENE.
THEY CULTIVATED YOUR TALENTS FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH
EVERY YOUR NIGHT YOUR PASSION SAW YOU DOING MANY LENGTHS
WEEKENDS OF GALA’S AND NATIONAL SWIMMING
S.A.SHORT COURSE, YOUR P.B’S, AND FAIR SHARE OF WINNING
TOGETHER WE CELEBRATED YOUR PLACE IN W.P. SCHOOL CHAMPS THAT YEAR
SO PROUD OF OUR BEAUTIFUL SWIMMER ALWAYS AHEAD OF HER PEERS
FIRST YEAR AT UNIVERSITY YOU BECAME SO INDEPENDENT
STARTING YOUR STUDIES AS A B.Sc. STUDENT
IT WAS ALSO THE YEAR YOU LEARNED TO DRIVE
GOT YOUR LICENSE—DAD SPOILT YOU—NEW CAR—RESPLENDENT
YOUR FAITH AND TRUST IN THE LORD STILL REMAINS FIRM
AS YOU WALK AND GROW SPIRITUALLY DAILY WITH HIM
SO MUCH HAS CHANGED, AND YET SOME THINGS REMAIN
YOU BEAUTY AND TALENTS SO EASILY MAINTAINED
YOUR LOVE OF SWIMMING AND OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENTS IN WATER
YOU KNOW WE WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR NO. 1 SUPPORTERS
AND NOW YOU ARE 21, SWEETHEART
YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU-- TODAY IS JUST THE START
IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY THAT YOU WERE BORN—
OUR DAUGHTER~LOVES BRIGHT SHINING LIGHT~ WE ADORE
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED IN EVERY WAY
WISHING YOU GOD’S RICHEST BLESSINGS ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TO OUR BABY GIRL
TO HAVE YOU AS A DAUGHTER HAS BEEN A REAL PLEASURE
-YOU HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL BE OUR MOST BEAUTIFUL TREASURE-
(FOOTNOTE: OUR DAUGHTER WILL BE 23 THIS YEAR, HAS COMPLETED HER BSc. AND HONOURS DEGREE’S IN PHYSIOLOGY AND GENETICS AND NOW DOING HER MASTERS DEGREE IN EXERCISE SCIENCE. SHE IS ALSO A PROFESSIONAL TRIATHLETE—DOING SWIMMING, CYCLING AND RUNNING AS ONE DISCLIPLINE)
Happiness in a Wrong way – Zamreen Zarook
In the notion of seeking happiness,
I thought of stepping in to nonsense,
I dream I could find success,
But I had only little access.
Every attempt that I lend,
It was an utter failure at the end,
My life was full of difficult bend,
But God is always there as a good friend.
My deeds travel in various ways,
Some times in subways,
Or in times it goes in highways,
But I had the belief, God is there always.
North and south families surrounded,
East and west friends are rounded,
Every time fear on death soughed,
I am trapped, and my merits are loaded.
Broken,beaten,blind and lost
All but a spark of hope left to keep warm
But dig and claw on bruised muscles, on broken limbs
Until the light day fills your sight
Left blinded no more
Until the soft fresh air blows the spark to a flame and ignites your will
Until the ground beneath is solid enough to stand
Walk,until the pain is mastered and stumbling ceases.
And you can say:
This will not be my grave.
Second Period Ode
Michael, Jaydin, Jin, Ashley, Andre, Ametriyus, J’Maine, Amari, Beijae, Morgan, Dr. Corbin and Mrs. Tobey
O, backpack with your books and pencils and things,
You weigh a ton, but you are my wings.
You carry my stuff wherever I go
But sometimes I wish
That you could stay home.
You are the hump on my back,
Like a camel in the desert.
In reality you are my treasure.
You carry my dreams to the ocean of knowledge.
You’re my path to success,
My key to college.
You used to be shiny and new
now you are heavy and dirty too.
With duct tape and staples to keep you together
You are full of promises and hope
And I’ll keep you forever.
By the time I finished highschool, my top highest dream that I wanted to accomplish before any of my other so many dreams
To become a nun
I wanted to be holy of the holiest
Wearing my long attire, all covered up
I wanted to be like the nuns in my highschool
I wanted to only focus on God, devoted to Him only
I wanted to live in a convent, with other sisters
After I finished highschool I visited a convent in Karen and I remember standing there by the gate imagining myself living there one day
After I finished highschool, I also did a lot of volunteering and charity work in children's homes
-Because I knew most of my work as a nun would be serving
But after a while, the little pocket money I had saved in highschool run out and so I couldn't visit all these places that I felt I was called to be
So I stayed home as I waited for my university acceptance
And that's when I reconnected with a friend from primary school
And she had stories that made my nun dream a hallucination
She told me of her first sex which was on the couch in her sister's house
She talked in details of the feels and fills of sex that left my innocent curious mind running wild
She talked of the blood stain on the couch and the arms that held her tight as she became a woman
And from there, all I wanted to be was that girl
From that sunny day under a tree where we girls talked for hours, my dream changed.
When I was a little girl
I thought money grew on trees
and birds were
separated from bees
Now I know that money comes from work
And birds go with the bees
When I was a little girl
I played pretend a lot
When I was a little girl
I never thought guys were "hot"
Now I know that pretend
is nothing like real life
and on my wall there is a spot
for the boy band member I deem "hot"
And now I'm going into high school
and that's a scary thought
written 29th June 2013
Recalling that day at school, the teacher set that task..
what do you want to be? she asked the class..
My answer was simple, so I had thought...
to be a mum, I'd have six kids and live on a farm
If you would believe, that's exactly what I received
but it was not made to come with ease
For the fathers I had sadly chose, became prideful and greedy!
never til now did it cross my mind, my babies would someday not need me
Leaving me again to think, what do I really want to be
as faith would have it, as it had been planned so I'd see
For the FIRST! time, direction would finally enter into my life
poetry writer; was soon to amount of me, after I'd become a wife
Now poems are continuously raging within my head, all wanting to be read
as I failed English on an epic scale, to believe this dream inside of my head
At 38 years old, I see my life heading back to school
maybe this time round, I won't play the class fool!
You Only Live Once is apparently my generations motto,
Its why she feels so hollow.
God damn girl, i used to be your man girl!
now i can pick up a magazine anywhere around the world, and see a full spread picture of the girl that used to be my world.
You only live once don't you get it!
So do all of these drugs! yeah! I know you won't regret it!
Now my friend is dead, and i bet you wish you hadn't said it.
You only live once and then your dead!
Of course you should let that random girl give you head!
Now my friend has herpes and he wishes he was dead,
because his girlfriend let him when he ****ed that girl instead.
You only live once Ben come on don't you remember?
Isn't that what you told Dillon that November?
Isn't that what you told Brittney to convince her to take those pictures?
Is that what you told Ryan when he told you that his dick hurt?
You only live once, so don't try and live all at once.
(orignal date: 2/15/11)
This is my momemet of clarity,
pulp fiction no ly,
just look the man in the mirror and as why,
it is the education rules or rules on sport so where is my chair of sure lucky
nest at flat feet at my success of my school degree of sucess,
they say the groupiees are at the door before you reach the age of 18,
so in vision my dream,
late for class,
in the teacher eyes he's first to be sit it,
over and over regulation,
but who is you valdation the best left hand pitcher or kid with the highest iq,
words to truth life by,
life by the america education system is going truely die fast like the lip
syncing of nsync,
or what band was that, (ban)
ratical achievment, hand held glory, bold state meets,
word to digestion in fact i would take back it in fact i hope it inhance me in
fact i sit down giving the facts
why is that average player that is deserving of scholarship isnt even look at
twice but in fact the guy that make all the shot lingerie
to the fact can't even learn the bases,
bases which include square to the root the bases being give outstand
interview and the bases is getting truth scholar the excess to a worth school
Lost life in gamble,
and dropp out college by second semseter
i say to the world it lot more kids that gift not talent that didnt pursue that
What is our duty to stand by,
who is the role model,
the father or the athlete or insteady of a
father not a dad who eyes swallows to see the act of patrism reinstill and left
out mention words of constiution and more out reach skretting,
if iam to live by those words i just wont died but those rules but for me
my roots speak for it self
I speak out for legend that star game with one 'Fist to Sky'
know how they fight for segeration and ask how can they forget where they
and ask who the true true american hero to that of a child that role model! !
i say the role model ofhis age are the college star that turn pro that spoken
on behalf of a nation, on the rightfulness of a equal salary and fair profit of
for future pros,
this poem is for you even thought it was written a year or two before the
but if it wasnt for the pros that got the education would they
had won the lock out that effect generation to come?
I rest my case...
I do not know?
Hand in hand we walked
together into Reception
Nothing could stop us and
together we were three
James and I LARP-ed Doctor
Who for fun
We talked and laughed for
Because no stress was in our
Anna and I smiled and laughed
And jumped on our bouncy
With nothing dividing us.
Side by side we walked
together into Year 6
Some stranger stopped them to
talk and broken we were alone
James and I talked about
Doctor Who for fun
And we talked and kissed for
But misunderstanding broke us
Anna and I still smiled and
And joked about our bouncy
But secondary school was going
to divide us.
With no one there I walked
alone into Year 7
And a stranger became my
friend and together we were
Violet and I both loved Doctor
And James found Dominic
So James and I talked for mere
And school started pulling us
Anna and I still laughed and
Still promising to be friends
Never letting it divide us
Suffocating and drowning I
walked into Year 9
Hating how I was and feeling
Katie and Chloe were so pretty
And Violet so funny and all
were better than me
James and I hardly talked or
saw each other
But we still made the most of
As we were like family, stress
couldn’t break us apart
Anna and I laughed but I did
not smile genuinely
Because the bouncy castle was
And our schools were beginning
to divide us
Dead yet breathing I stand
And I hate who am I and every
Fights broke us up and pulled
So I can feel Katie, Violet and
Falling further out my reach
James moved house to a place
And blamed me for never
talking to him
But really it was because of my
ex who was a girl
It was for something beyond
Anna and I were still friends;
only by a thread
As she did not know about me
And how school broke me apart
So this is me now; I’m all alone
No longer the smiling young girl
The only person talking to me
And the voice in side my head
You see; they all left me and
So now the only call I answer
Is that of my blades
And the darkness
That is constantly
I do not know?
what happens when a hit it and quit it guy, realizes that this is not the way he wants to live his life because its to short and its passing him by, he's sick of being the asshole that no one thinks they can rely, all he wants to do is show people that he can fly, but when he act like how he wants to people say "are you ok man cuz your acting really not like your self" so he says "why do i even try", every time he trys to change his confidence says "goodbye", because when he starts being nice he never gets a reply, shows his true colors and all he gets is a huge deny, but when he goes back suddenly its "what up man" and "hi", he doesn't get it now he's back in his shell just thinkin why, why is it that when his personality stops being shy, and starts heading for the sky, everybody looks at him differently and says "ben are you high", but he's not, he just wants to be a good guy, he's happy lending a shoulder to lean on so you can cry, or giving you a slice out his pie, if you need some help he'd be happy to supply, if you would just give him a chance he'l show you that this isn't a lie, but whatever he thinks, god can judge me when i die. - By Benjamin Clifford Boyd Larson
The confusing world of poetry
Clerihews, and couplets
Acrostics, and Haikus
Me head is spinning round and round
Oh Lord I’m so confused
I’d like to read about the stuff
But I really ain’t got time
I’m too busy trying to write
In rhythm and in rhyme
I never was so very clever
I flunked in all at school
I guess me dad, he got it right
He called me village fool
He tried to make me turn out clever
But he didn’t have a chance
Cause I’m a dreamer through and through
You can see that at first glance.
So I don’t know about complex things
I’m just a simple man
But me, I’ve wrote eight thousand songs
And I’ve done it cause I can
The words roll out like a waterfall
And they come just like they are
And I talk about love, and I talk about life
And the flowers and the stars.
25 July 2013 @ 0925hrs.
As the dawn expells its authoritive cast; they awake, but are abandoned. They
turn--but their friend the sun ignores and they understand. They commune
their relationship and part with their memories; and sigh.
They say their good-byes in a tone of fullfilment, but aface their anxieties
toward the skies for hope; but are denied. A clouded sky brings a chill in the
air and a rustling of rakes and flames.
Old as hell, written in HS for publication, circa 1971 by me. When I was young in the 60's in Ohio, we burned leaves in our backyard; sometimes our household trash too. You had to be me to be there GV. Count me in as last place. Take care.
I sat in a kind of wasted skin stupor and
try to make sense of my reality idiom in pisces
blue A minor sequence aqueoushumor blind sigh-ted
by a dubious passion to be a teacher of pious on
metaphors to go to the holy innocents of a yestertommorrow
I talk ramble by day of the slammer sociomenace
while they glassed eyed park their sick l cells in
unneutral and (in double park synapse in tow---let me catch an old
glimmer of naked frenzy-taut as a stretched, cracked
brittle rubber band praying for one last turnstretch to
flipfly a higher band than the last cloud pattern, given
to the raised eyebrows of montoya clammerings of hocus
pocus Jekyll/Hyde explosive endeavor trick or treats
without the brownwhite wrapper or the righteous look
pinch pout pocket of a boy dowell. Keep the false faith friends,
The lips that kissed these tiled floors
now split to cough out damp clay dust.
Gathered in excited lungs, to build and mold forever more
under thatched roof of ripped canvas. Must
the strings that hold your heart in tune
be plucked free to dance upon the unknown noise.
That rings from peach sky mornings to hushed afternoon
in the sparrows song. Like the toys
that teach creation, Paintbrush’s whispering tongue
kisses white with every stroke. Scream
forth in colorful kindling that rung
your secrets in the wind, leaving dry lungs to dream
for knowledge as it seeps from tree rings,
the life sap frozen in amber wings.
They all look happy after school
He suddenly lose all that glow after school
He now sees reality flashing as the school time end
It’s time to back where his roots lays
She is also showing signs of sadness
For her going back is even harder
Far but it’s nothing compare to the pain
The pain of looking after her brother
His eyes tell the story hidden from his cute face
The looks many says he pick from his mother
Their parents have passed after a hard fought sickness
The same sickness that he is living with
Some say their parents were bewitched
But she knows the truth as her brother look upon her
She is ready to do anything for him like lioness fighting furiously
As her mother’s words ring to her ears;
‘Look after your brother’
The days are even longer then months
The months are years to them
Only Sundays are a blessing to them
Playing is not for them as many fear them
Consumed by fear all they do is read their books
Deprived to associate with other kids
Loneliness crept and engulfs them like a dog in the wilderness
It’s back to school
School for young brains to be nurtured
But a child so young with an old brain
He too wanted to play and live normally
She too would have enjoyed doing her hair
Living in a free country yet nothing is free for them
Having rights that will not bring food on the table
But her father contradicted this thought
As he said “always see this as an opportunity to success”
Only success can give them the life they envy to live
A life of being happy
A life of being accepted for who you are
Even now they wait and live by the hope
The hope of getting this grant money
Hoping that their granny will get back
Back to their simple and haunting house
The house so controlled by fear and shame
House that gives birth to pouring tears
This is their house and burden for life
This is the house with no breadwinner
They are the only survivors in this house
They will be the corners of this house.
A kaleidoscope, a mixture of colors and light
So hard to describe so hard to write
Just like a life just like mine
Here is mine my time to shine
The colors change just like time
A life goes on to hit its prime
No matter what it keeps on changing
Just like life keeps on arranging
My story begins at age six
When life was suddenly no easy fix
The Kaleidoscope began to turn
And its center began to churn
My father left our family home
He left alone to go and roam
Suddenly the Kaleidoscope went dark
Even now it’s left its mark
It remained unturned for about two years
And the movement became quite severe
My Mother moved away from home
To improve her new teaching career
The shades of blue came into play
As most of my family had passed away
My mother was strong and held my hand
Even though nothing had gone as planned
My family will always be in my heart
Those small blue beads will play their part
At that time I was almost nine
I pretended that I was just fine
The colors changed from blue to red
I went on with almost no dread
At age eleven I moved once more
I moved again to the California core
I spent the next year in shades of green
All the kids were just too mean
I went to Junior and then Senior High
Then it was time to say goodbye
The Kaleidoscope turned and made a painting
My life became very entertaining
That’s when I met you for the first time
My hope and happiness began to climb
But My Father turned my Kaleidoscope for me
And I asked and cried my pitiful plea
On the weekends the kaleidoscope turns black
With nothing there to change it back
There are ups and downs, lights and darks
With many blond moments and smart remarks
My life will always be turning fast
Even so I have time to look back at my past
If I remember one thing it is that
My life was nothing like combat
But I still fought wars of my own
Without them my world would still be unknown
There is nothing quite like a kaleidoscope
It’s a symbol of change and hope
I like to think my life is like this
So look back and reminisce
Look back at your thoughts and dreams
But remember nothing is as it seems
The Kaleidoscope will turn to show your past
What was boring and what was a blast
Mine shows everything you’ve done for me
You showed me how fun life can be
You made my life what it is now
To this day I still wonder how
Thank you for turning my Kaleidoscope
And giving me strength and the power to cope
You made my life a beautiful rainbow
You deserve more than you will ever know
When I was a kid wearing a lid
Was something that most people did
And everyone knew
There were things you do or not do
When wearing that hat on your head
If you wished to be seen as well bred
Never, never would you leave it on your dome
When you were in somebody's home
You'd be considered crass and crude
The epitome of rude
If you left it on your head
When in someone's homestead
And to wear it while you ate
Is something one can't even contemplate
But today it seems there are no rules
No no's, no don'ts no ridicules
And the thing that worries me is that
It applies to more than just the hat.
A loaded pistol,
With youthful courage till yesteryear;
Now lies naked and dormant,
And Is found to be lifeless and dead.
Somewhere, buried in my Junkyard,
Playfully tested till now in all arms to shame;
As it shyly, blushes and whispers to admit,
Murmuring its helplessness into my ears.
Ooh! My Childhood friend,
It feels like an impotent;
To be so bullet-less today.
My Golden days have all ended,
Life has become so ignorant now;
As I've become so bullet-less today.
As the pendulum constantly oscillates,
Time has traded fast on twenty wheels;
Looking for some good fortune in distant lands.
And a store-room in my backyard,
Has always remained the same;
And is still kept unchanged.
But never was any eye caught,
Not even mine;
To drool upon the nozzle of that Gun;
Like the way I used to do,
Used to lovingly do before.
Strolling down my kindergarten alley,
When a Gun was gifted on a bright Christmas morning;
It used to amaze me in my childhood days,
As I so excitedly unwrapped and got it out;
From the mysterious and magical White socks,
Which was hung on my bed; Hung all night,
Waiting for a snowy white beard old man;
A laughing sage in an exception;
Who lived on the mystical hill-side view,
Of my Steel city.
Today, after so many years,
A long craved sight fell upon it;
And it instantly drove me back,
To flash my childhood nostalgic days.
When infant Army camps used to settle,
To battle in the air for all day long;
Under the densely old,
Never claimed tree by anybody - 'Our Mango Tree'.
Ooh! How then this pistol fakingly killed,
So many nappie buddies of mine.
Who played and just acted,
To be dead as my enemies.
Ooh..! How strangely it feels like,
A game of now.
When today the lil' me gazing at any topic,
Sitting in my backyard;
Stumbled and pondered to find,
An old vintage Shot-gun of mine.
So curiously digging the wearily torn school bag,
Hanging since ages on the dampened wall.
Ooh..! So clueless, I fumbled upon,
An old vintage Shotgun of mine.
Dumped and buried under thousand other,
Essential antique toys of mine;
Which notoriously has got rotten in rust.
In closed walls of adolescence,
Where white parchments seeps overall;
From moist doors of yesterday,
Ooh..! How strangely it still feels like today.
I used to think that life was a joke.
When I was 9 I started to smoke.
When I was 11 I began to drink.
But as I got older I began to think
I started thinking about what I wanted to do and what I had to give.
But then I realized I had a long life to live.
At age 13 I started to fight for no good reason.
Thanks to my dad and my anger,
I got kicked out of school for the rest of the season.
Not long after, my mom and my dad were separated,
By this time, my anger had very well escalated.
I was baker-acted for making threats in 1999.
Threatening take everyone’s life, including mine.
I hated it! I hated my life in every way.
I always stayed in the house.
I never wanted to play.
After being home schooled for two years,
It was time to go to High School my dear.
My mother appraised me, she said I would to fine.
Oops! My Bad. I got suspended 22 times.
I got baker acted again and I caught a charge.
A charge that landed me straight behind bars.
I was on probation and violated constantly.
For once the only thing I wanted was to be free.
At age 15 I was in a program locked in a cell.
Oh boy! How fun! I had my 16th Birthday in jail.
It took 11 months and 11 days to get my act straight and learn better ways.
January 16,2004 I was free once again,
To be locked up no more.
3 days after I was 17 and free from being locked down,
My mother tells me I’m off probation now.
Now that I’ve told you what I’ve been through,
Its time for me to tell you about what I plan to do.
This is what I plan to do with my life.
To make good decisions and to do what’s right.
I plan to continue to go to school.
No more days of trying to play cool.
I am who I am not to pretend.
The way I think of it, in my life I need no fake friends.
People think I’m crazy for my plan to succeed.
Its my choice if I want to be a part of the city police.
I want to major in Criminal Justice to become a lawyer or be apart of the law.
I have came a very long way and have left so many people in awe.
People think of me as a misbehaved, disturbed little child.
But look at how far I made it. Even though it took a while.
When I was younger, I was wild.
But to all who doubted me, I hope I made you proud.
See the effort that I chose to give.
And all this was to earn a better life to live.
Chipmunks, squirrels collecting
bitternut hickory, chirping
against a small owl cruising
low beneath the trees.
Everyone has gone this morning
to school or work. Laundry rolling,
carpets vacuumed, cleaning
in the bathroom on my knees.
I'd like to be Whitman, praising
the pure contralto, Wynton practicing
all day. But like my father dying
I cannot hear what I cannot see.
Locally there's politics, processing
points of view. Eventually coming
to a decision, building or not building
windmills on the sky, bridges in the sea.
Insignificant and mighty happenings
seem the same from my vantage ageing
gratefully, inexorably, planning
how to die in my own damn way.