I was there
On my way to Laflin when the 55th and Garfield bus slowed down.
He should have been passed out from excitement like other 10 year olds playing
football in vacant lots,basketball in streets, and baseball with wooden sticks.
Instead on his way to gas station
collar bone caught bullet like a bleeding brown mitt.
He never made it to first base safe, he never made it home.
I sat there in blue and black CTA seats
and I wished he was struck by a
be-be, paint ball, or tranquilizer gun
but no they simply snatched back cocked metal and released.
He lied there surrounded
face had grazed grass
and when his mother saw him she wished she could resist what purples saw.
with a certificate to prove his end.
She pawed at his white outline
pleading he would breath life, but when i didn't she wept.
I was restricted to step off bus and on to pavement,
so i had to let my eyes listen
to how blue lights and smudged tears didn't compliment the tragedy.
I mean I was stuck to scene because of the caution tape
and the ambulance
and the way his stretcher jumped as he was being taken to the morgue.
Pedestrians though it was over until they fled like that little boys mother when she
heard her sons blood had been scrambled on the boulevard.
Police mans knees blasted to chest as they chased for blocks ones who failed to
follow: THOU SHALL NOT KILL!
I kept riding past Halsted then on to Racine finally came to Laflin stepped off bus,
looked at the bullet whole in the street sign then asked
what is the purpose of you holding hand high and think u have the right to kill.
Mom I promised you I would do my best to help my brothers and sisters pass
life's test to remember how you were before you were laid to rest.
Mom I`m finding it really hard to do, my brothers don`t talk to each other they`re
playing a fool, my sisters can`t stop crying for you.
Mom I fill no matter what I do it`s not right, try finding peace in this family fight only
to find I did nothing by the end of night.
Mom I remember our last talk, you said no matter what you would be by while I
take this walk, mom I need your strength for my life they mock.
Mom I told you I`d be fine, that I was not blind, that at the end of this road peace I
Mom I fill I`m not the one, all this stress I`m not having fun`m stepping up while
the others run.
Mom I told you I promise, but it`s my family that suffers and it`s them I miss, so I
ask you please help me through this.
Mom I am doing what I said I would, while the others fail to do what they should,
Mom I did the best I could.
Mom,.... how come,.... you chose me to be the one?
He has been stepped on
He has been hated on
But he still stands and rises above pain
Wars came, left relatives dead
He cried, he trembled
But he still stands
Once regretted his birth
Once thought of taking his life.
Thunder strikes and that’s enough
To make him gain strength
To aim higher and rise above pain
He is now rising above pain
Trying everything to clean his brain
If he was created in God’s image?
Why can’t God take care of His image?
Questions he couldn’t find answers to
Friends all gone,
The only family he has ever known
Streets become his home,
Starving to death,
Could not hold his breath
But still standing strong
And promises to rise above pain..
You knocked my heart’s door & I let you in
You were a thief; you stole it! Because of how kind you have been
Your words were extremely sweet and I was a sugar addict
You were a psychic because my future works you could predict
You were tremendously thankful for the simplest thing I did
You made me live the dream & dream life like a kid
You planted my garden with flowers of laughs
You filled my sea by drops of hope & faith
You were my mirror; you reflected me perfectly
You were incredibly modest & no word could describe you correctly
You! You! Yes you! Y, O, U! You are simply amazing
You were, are, and will always be miraculously surprising
I wish I could erase all my errors, all my mistakes
To gain your trust and love I’ll do whatever it takes
Believe me honey it kills me when I hear that in your heart is born hate
Because in the end we both know that you are my soul mate.
Here in the middle of the nothing I'm lost, I've wanted every single thing for me, i
wanted something better, but i just noticed that i already had every singel thing i
wanted, every single thing i needed, now i'm sailing alone looking for that thing i've
lost and now i need, i've lost something the biggest chest wouldn't hold, the money
wouldn't buy, i've lost you my heart.
to: ashton, the girl i miss so much
On that cloudy weekend in June
I hear a soft and graceful tune
from the grey bird on the tree
Singing sweet lullabies felt
blessed in the moment
My body tingles of joy at sight
Gazing out through
my open door,
Letting thoughts fly free
Releasing love out into the horizon
Heart filled with emotion came
Grey bird stood playing its tune
for awhile and on the wings of
Then as the rain fell from the
sky the grey bird flew away
I blew a kiss to the clouds and
utterd these simple words of I
Love You father ( who's now in
heaven ) and yet I hope to hear
that grey bird sing again once
more for me
Farewell, love your son
Poem contest for Debbie -referential
Are the Ones You Miss
I feel like I'm living someone elses life, a life in strife. I've been strong, but when will I belong. I feel so alone, but I'm doing ok on my own. I can't describe the pain, but I keep in mind every storm runs outa rain. I use to think our love was unbeatable, but really its unforgettable. Everyday I walk down memory lane, trying to ignore the pain. He crosses my mind everyday, when will all this go away. There's gotta be something more, my heart is becoming sore. My momma doesn't have to worry, because I'm not sorry. I know he made the mistake, and he's the reason I have this heartache. What we had, was bad. I shouldn't have let it go that far, your just another scar.
Don’t you forget the days we have shared,
For each other we have always cared.
But looking at your angry face,
I feel scared to whom my secrets will I reveal.
Oh! My dearest and cutest friend is getting angry your latest trend.
Don’t get angry and forgive me,
After all how long will you live without me.
In midnight skies the cries of love drift off to sleep in endless love.
For he who heard them.
Sent them hope, that God created a world for them.
For us to see and bare good times.
For no more hurt and devishlish crimes.
For the earth which once was good.
Is soured and torn.
There are no morals or dreams no more.
Or hope of good things when suffering soars.
For they are crushed by his vast sword.
For he who has the greater sin.
He has carried and been burdened with.
He has been forgotten.
In times like these.
Because people hearts bleed with disease.
For they have burdened him with more sin.
They have forgotten the pain he is in.
For he so carried his cross with pride.
A younge man who was destined to die.
No matter what the world does think.
This man did live before we did.
We have lost our way in darkened times.
Like lost sheep we have roamed, away from him.
If youd only listen and help to carry his cross.
Take the blame for things done past.
Change our ways for hope to last.
We wont do that out of pride.
When he is denied.
I feel for him.
I pick his cross up and help him off the ground.
For he is my brother.
Who I have found.
He has carried that cross.
No man deserved his life in such a lose.
Tormented and torturded to no extent.
He didnt look like a mere man in the end.
He coutinued to stand even after he fell.
Showing me the strength of Heaven and hell.
For a man so strong, so bold and kind.
Showed me what we can do as man kind.
He gave his life for everyone who reads this.
For those who can not see.
Do not be blind
Find this man, for he needs you.
He gave his life to save you.
With your help, you raise his cross.
You heal that burden of love.
That has been lost.
Ease his pain and find your way.
For Heaven is a start and hell is a step away.
By Robielynn Collins
You are my best friend,
through think and through thin,
and I guess you didn't realize,
that it was a sin,
but I prayed to God,
to make you whole,
and to take you to HEAVEN,
and to save your SOUL,
I know he will,
becaus HE'S a loving GOD,
and HE can do anything, with just a nod.
When I was little
I walked in on you mommy
In the Bath Tub
All you ever did was drugs and slept with ever man that walked past you
I never a had a girl night out with you
Cause you never wanted to you
All you would say is not right now mommy to busy
I was 7 years old mom
Where were you when a man lay in my bed?
And did things to me
I cry out for you but you never came
All you ever want to do is hurt me
What have I ever done to you?
For you to ever treat me so badly
I'm sorry for ever wrecking your plans
I'm sorry that I was born
I'm sorry for being your little girl
I'm sorry that you never loved me
I'm sorry for ever trying to get close to you
And make you love me
All you ever did was pushed me away
And called me your little mistake
I sit here with tear rolling down my check
Cause I ever wanted was for you to say
I love you
But I guess I be waiting for a long time
Cause all I am is your Little Mistake...
Sometimes I like to pretend, things never came to a end. But over time, our love became a crime. I didn't know what we had, would ever end so bad. But then I knew things weren't right, when we started to fight. Now I walk down memory lane all the time, the pain is worst then committing a crime. We only caused eachother pain, but we were eachothers maine. I thought things would be alright, but I cried alot that night. I don't want things to change, without you my life is strange. You said you wanted me so much it started to hurt that you couldn't wait, now im just another person you hate. When you said you didn't care, I knew the person I loved was no longer there. You aren't the same, the new you is lame. We both fell, now it's hell. You use to always be here for me, like family. But now your nowhere in sight, things aren't right. Empty is all that I can feel, I still can't believe this is real. I didn't mean to let you get away, I didn't know what to say. Am i with the right guy, or am i telling myself a lie. I was afraid to loose what we had, but to you that choice was bad.
sitting here thinking about my little that past last year someone shot him in a car with 2 others but one still alive, that one was being on the stand for life dealing with death of his friends or whatever they called my little cousin, my cousin was only going out to get some milk for his son, and now his girlfriend is left to take care two children by herself as a single mother wondering how she is going to do this all by herself not thinking that the worst pain ever going to go through her mind, now I see vision of my cousin every day and making me cry cause I miss him so much and can’t talk to him like I use to as a child all I have is the memories of him sitting in my old house as a child and now he is dead, I don't want to ever celebrate my birthday ever again he die on September 21, 2012 what a painful day all I remember is getting my son off the bus and 10 mins later my mother was screaming like she lost one of my brothers but really he might have not been my brother by blood but he was my cousin and every time I think a tear comes coming down my face then remember my mother telling me, she Sheena lil Greg is gone I screamed and cried for days didn't even answer my phone unless it was important, I stayed away from friends, I just didn't care who knew, I was hurting inside, then one day I heard a voice and it was like lil Greg was speaking to me, but I wouldn't turn my light off for days and would carry a flash just case I needed it in the dark to see where I was walking, I would see his shadows just like I use to see my old teacher shadow in the dark, I would flash the flashlight onto the area where I see him then it’s like he is not there then I hear his voice calling telling me that it’s okay, that I’m fine cause with my mother, your true angel forever, but I couldn't find him, I kept asking myself where is lil Greg I though he was dead, then I remember my family buried him where is mother was at, and now May 21 is lil Greg franklin birthday and I can’t tell him I really feel any more about his girlfriend or the people he hang out with, he wasn't just a cousin to me, I felt like a piece of my heart just melt inside that I couldn't get back and still do, cause now my family want to celebrate his birthday and I weather be home on May21 it’s a painful day for me, just this week alone is painful week, I lost one of my best friends,
A letter to my mom if she could read it.
I am sorry for the times I would not listen to you and would talk back.
I loved all the times we spent together. We had so much fun together you were a great mom and you were my best friend. Some days I ask god why he let you get so sick but I realize its not gods fault that you’re sick it’s just life and some times bad things happen. Know one knows why it happened but it happened for a reason. Things happen and know one knows why it does we just have to deal with it. I miss you mom a lot some times I cry at night because I miss you so much. I just wish you could come home. It hurts to see you so sick I wish it could all go away. Hope one day you come home I all ways try to go see you at the hospital at least twice a week. Mom I am really sorry how I wouldn’t listen and I talked back. I wish we could turn back time and you wouldn’t be sick. I cry just by writing this letter to you. I just can’t believe you might not be able to ever come home. You won’t be able to see me go to prom or get married if I ever do. Mom I just want you home but that won’t happen you’re to sick and I hope a miracle happens and you get better and come home. Some days I feel like I cant make it through the day but I just remember your spirit and love will all ways be with me every day and you’re always in my heart. I all ways cry when I think about you. When you were sick I dyed my hair purple, blue, hot pink, red, and aqua. People still make fun of me and say I am weird but it’s ok. There is so much things I want to say but I don’t know how to just know I am sorry for how I treated you. I MISS YOU MOM AND LOVE YOU!!
I feel really hurt, I hope you don't notice the mascara stains on your shirt. I dont want you to know I still cry, I dont want you to know your the reason why. I know I have made many mistakes and caused you many heartaches. But I dont know how you handle this pain, I'm going insane. I feel like that one lie, has done more than make me cry. Its caused me to look at you a different way, its caused me to overthink everything you have said or say. I dont want us to change but now things feel so strange. I guess I'll just have to adjust but I dont have anyone to trust. I dont know what all you have said is true, I dont know what to do. Should I be mad, is it okay for me to be sad. I hate the fact but I don't know how to react. I didn't exspect for that to happen, I wasn't prepared for my heart to be broken. I thought we we didnt keep secrets from eachother, I thought we could trust one a nother. But you have proven me wrong, showed me I'm not strong. I just hope you gain my trust back, before things get all wack.
It's all too familiar
What I once previously put into the universe
Sent out toward another
I now feel
Roles reverse; I wear the victims shoes
Something I did not choose
His heart had taken its toll
I fall victim to this heartache
Frustrated, my emotions run rampant
Is this what I made him feel like?
Looking back on the feelings he expressed are all to familiar to how I feel now
I'm scared of these feelings that take over my body
Uncontrollably, I force myself avoiding that path
I stand at the fork in the road, curiosity arises within
My mind wanders, I must see what it is like
I attempt and nothing
The frustration builds more and more
How could I have made him feel this way
Karma has arisen
What I sent out into the universe has made its way back around toward me
Karmas a bitch
He said I would one day understand
I do now
& I'm sorry
so in love
do you know
i'm not the same
look at what
you done did to me
made me too happy
i'm so happy
i cain't do the same
i feel bad
make everyone mad
but i can't
cuz I don't have to
The storm is coming, the wise say.....
I blink in moments of reminiscing the pleasure, but it came with pain.
Choices are never easy if making love wasn’t for the right reasons.
I mean I didn’t love her I just lusted for her; big curvaceous thighs, apple type ass and her luscious breasts, simply cause she portrayed the image of the video vixens.
I swear, my mother taught me be cautious but
Put the vodka in the juice and mix it all up, and you
Get one hell of a night, to remember.
In which make the next day a blessing to wake up hung-over.
I mean I’m young and stupidity is the only definition to explain why we do, what we do as youth.
I could have stayed in doors and studied for my math test on Monday.
But we live with Friday, being the day to chill the ice cube of stress, so I jumped in the car with the fellas, and headed to Tammy’s party.
I was drunk before I got there and I was out of my conscious mind while I was there....
So she was interested in me and I was interested in making another moment to remember.
So I write this letter to you, with deep remorse as I say..
I never loved your mother; and I wasn’t ready to be your father, if time then was now,
I swear I would have never agreed to kill you,
I wish my actions don’t tell a tale of who I am.
Cause I always dreamt to have a child... being there every moment,
When its born, being the arms it cries in, arms which comfort it, be the hand which hold the spoon to feed it, be there when it takes its first steps, clothed it, bath it, experience things like
Taking it to school, making lunch, have conversations, laughs, moments of enlightenments, moments of frustrations, moments of father to child talks, seeing all sporting games, or being at every award show, taking pictures, ice cream moments, walks in the park.
Do all the things with my child that my father never did.
But I’m fatherless plus I was young and stupid.... although that’s no excuse
I’m sorry again for agreeing to your murder.
I’m imprisoned in guilt for life.
Sorry my bed,
i disturb you a lot,
But stupid as you're,
you can't laugh at me,
when am naked.
You just keep quite
lik a sleeping dog!
Sorry my my bed,
because you're fool.
I know I didn’t know you for a long time…
But I just feel I know you for many years ago…
You were a the protector… the hero…….
For the family you lived for so long…
All the hero’s that lives dies a day..
But the memories will always remain..
You were so brave. I guess the bravest from all…
You wagged you tail with a word of talking..
Even humans don’t understand it at it all…
How should I say good bye. when my heart knows..
That you will never ever be back home..
But we need to hold our tears back…
We need to keep our memories strong..
Puppy…we will dearly miss you..
But we will always remember you..
In the time of danger at home…
We will pray for you…
Hoping that you will find a better life…
May be one day we will meet again…
As we met in this birth of yours…
Dearest puppy…forgive us..
If we had any mistakes within us..
we will always We love you puppy. !
I killed my feelings...
I killed my dreams...
I killed my hope...
You killed your time...
You killed your beauty...
You killed your future...
We killed our love.
We killed our marriage.
We killed our family.
We are Killers.
But we are still alive and out from the prison!
Copyright Constantinos Grigoriadis © All rights reserved
I am oh so tired, I didn’t sleep last night
How am I meant to sleep when we just had a fight?
Your words are like a broken record still echoing through my head
It’s been so many hours but I still wish I were dead
Sometimes I can say some things that may not come out true
But honestly I’m really sorry I ever lied to you
I’m sorry I get too distracted on my laptop or phone
I’m sorry that sometimes I just leave you alone
I’m sorry that most days I don’t even look up to say hi
I’m sorry that quite often I can’t help but cry
I’m sorry that you think drugs are the only thing on my mind
I wish I could start over, but I can’t just press rewind
You’re my reason for waking up and staying up each night
You’re the reason I’m getting better, you've made everything alright
I can’t stand going to work anymore I don’t want to leave your side
Your helping me beat depression and restoring my pride
Sure I still cry too much and talk to people you don’t want me to
But I’m completely certain I only ever want to be with you
You’re the one I've chosen; the one who has my heart
If you give me just one more chance, can we take it back to the start?
Let’s pretend that we just met and nothing ever went wrong
I want to be in your arms forever; I want us to be strong.
So please baby, never forget that I’m in love with you.
And to keep you with always there is nothing I wouldn’t do.
while words play hide and seek in my mind
while they sink and float resisting their definition and my determination to recite
when there is a resignation of words in my mind that lead me to a world of confusion
I will take out my pen and paper where my solution is found
there is a story I want to tell, but oh! sorry something holds me back
with all the information I have, its hard to share for I am held back by my situation
Ingcinga nengcingane zam zingcikiv'ubuciko bam ndancama ndatsho ngezwi ndathi " gama hlala nam
ziziphithiphithi zalaph'eziphithanise ingcinga zam , lafika lon'iphango
njenge ngxangxasi yamanzi, zehl'iinyembezi zam
I sat and I said...Oh! word,,, you got nothing left for me??,,,I wanna recite,, I want to talk
a blue chameleon delight eyes full grappling his inner joys in knowing legs must know no opposing position roaming safely through universal value with X-ray
wisdom yes as bitch charm don't ever fool envy grating haven in just kiss loving moments never opportunist poor quest running silent toward valor waste x.ing yore.
i look at the sky,
i see only the sun,
the stars and clouds,
and some times moon,
lightening the world,
when it's night.
Iv been talking to you since I was a kid. Asking for forgiveness and finding my path within.
I been loving you since the day I walked in. Trying to find you and putting my faith through thick and thin.
I doubted you when it was all over, I didn't believe in you even though you made my childhood a walk through water. Like the pressure on your legs as your trying to walk or the blindness that rises as you sink into the dark.
Well its all over now, its been 5 years. I'm sick of the drowning, I'm sick of all the tears.
I know what I want but I'm scared of failure, I'm scared of the struggle and I know in the long run Ill just drown in my demons.
The demons inside that's just run around, that bring in the darkness, that use my body like a playground.
I don't want to ask, I don't want to beg cause I know iv been doing it since I was a kid. I'm done with excuses, I'm done with the fibs. I know what's wrong and I'm ready to let you in.
Before I end this with all seriousness in my heart, please just give me the strength to get through this hard part. I'm sorry for my past, I'm sorry for what iv done but from this day forward.
I Love You God.
Lost in a hidden cave
inside this little shell
banging on the walls of glass
creating these deep splintering cuts
can't judge the person hiding
when you haven't seen
the tears that hide behind these eyes
hiding inside the broken shell
of a broken heart
I know when I left that nigt to go hang with firends,
I wasn't thinking about how it would hurt you,
I was being selfish am sorry,
For that I should have thought more of my actions more clear,
I didn't so I've may have lost the only real chance with a good man.
As ypur heart hurts with pain only thing I can so is say am sorry over and over