Emotions of addiction
pulling so seductively
like a long lost love
whispering my name
over and over
until its all I hear
yearning rumbles deep down
burning as it rises
like bile in my throat
So conniving in its game
of love and hate
like peek a boo with a child
frightening when it is revealed
turn and run they say
where shall I go
the only recourse is to stay
as it tries to tear
to wear me down
He calls to me
i answer and somehow
i have won
a new day is here
exhausted and confused
howling growling in the distance
addiction pulls back
waiting patiently so patiently
to take me back to hell
Is this how it ends?
Alone I cry that this pain may end;
Each day brings more fear;
Each sunrise I pray for a better day;
Afraid of the sunset as it marks the end;
Sunset as a reminder that everything has an end;
Afraid to close my eyes fearing death;
Sleep eludes me with time;
The one body part I feed betrays me;
Each pain a reminder that I’m alive;
As a wipe each tear I value my hands,
A tear a reminder my hands function;
Seems like the only part yet to betray me;
Haven’t checked my legs since I’ve been in bed;
Never let you live without food;
Three times a day I feed you;
Never did I expect much from you;
How can you betray me like this?
Am from the backseats of mean streets
I got my eye aiming the Wall Street
They said education is the key
I wonder why they made it expensive for we,
Am sitting around hood rats,
Gangsters and Ex- prisoners
Sniffing, snatching, stuffing stuff
Mama expects a lawyer, a doctor, a mayor,
We are in the middle of a crisis
Am the original copy of a son-of-a-gun
I define the odds
I believe to break a law,
Is to make a road
You go east or west,
Home is still the best
But with a bullet in your chest
Don’t mess with these streets
They will give you a free ride to hell
Pot and crack do rounds all over,
It’s a mess,
I am needed, you are needed,
We are needy
We are in a man eat man generation
You either survive or succumb
There’s a billion ways to die,
It’s time for a change,
Change of perspectives,
Change of attitude,
Change of behavior
Let’s get out of our comfort zone,
Coz that’s what’s drowning us,
We need a change
Change for the better
It’s revolution time!!
All the things we go through, all the pain we feel, and all the wars we fight we keep marching on!
For all the scars we have, for all the tears we shed we keep marching on!
For all the pain we hide, for all the times we hide all our emotions we keep marching forward!
For all the times we feel so alone and know one to belong to we keep moving on!
We have all these fear all these nightmares that come true but know matter what we keep going on!
Things we don’t expect, things we didn’t think could happen might just come true but we just have to keep moving on!
Know matter what happens in the future and what happened in the past just have to keep moving on with life!
It’s my life not expecting you to understand it
A man who when he was a boy his mother abandoned
Alienated like I arrived from another planet
While you were with your family joking, laughing and eating a peanut butter sandwich
I was moved from foster families and children’s homes
Surrounded by people but feeling alone
Everything I go through is some kind of building zone
Treated differently because I’m not wanted or loved by my dad, sister mum or brother
Feel like everyone trying to get to know me is working undercover
So the first thing I do is run for cover
Opposites attract I’m cold inside does that make me summer’s lover?
Being uncomfortable makes me comfortable
I feel safe being vulnerable
I’ll be the first to say I’m dysfunctional
Am I supposed to lie and say everything all great and wonderful?
Should I already understand and know it all?
You belittle me but I’m still growing tall
You wanted me to catch but you didn’t even throw the ball
An insomniac and I know Money can buy a bed but not sleep
But how much would a meaningful hug cost me?
I could wish and pray to the sky
But that’s just not me
Anytime love got me
It seems that Luck lost me
So I Push away the people I want to stay by my side
The ones who are worth your tears won’t make you cry
I could do 99 good deeds for you
But you would count the mistakes I make in life
So I don’t even try no more
I don’t cry no more
Love no one trust no one, **** them all
If you want to walk out my life. Here let me hold the door
The soldier boy was sitting calmly underneath that tree,
As I approached it, I could see him beckoning to me.
The battle had been long and hard and lasted through the night
And scored of figured on the ground lay still by mornings light.
"I wonder if you'd help me, sir", he smiled as best he could.
"A sip of water on this morn would surely do me good.
We fought all day and fought all night with scarcely any rest-
A sip of water for I have a small pain in my chest."
As I looked at him, I could see the large stain on his shirt
All reddish-brown from his warm blood mixed with dirt.
"Not much", he said."I count myself more lucky that the rest
They're all gone while I just have a small pain in my chest."
"Must be fatigue", he weakly smiled. "I must be getting old.
I see the sun is shinning bright and yet I'm feeling cold.
We climbed the hill two-hundred strong, but as we cleared the crest,
The night exploded and I felt this small pain in my chest."
I looked around to get some aid-the only things I found
Were big, deep craters in the earth-bodies on the ground.
"I kept on firing at them sir. I tried to do my best,
But finally I sat down with this small pain in my chest."
"What would my wife be thinking of her man so strong and grown,
If she could see me sitting here, too weak to stand alone?
Could my mother have imagined, as she held me to her breast,
That I'd be sitting here one day with this pain in my chest?"
"Can it be getting dark so soon?" He winced up at the sun.
"Its growing dim and I thought that the day had just begun.
I think, before I travel on, I'll get a bit of rest.....
And, quietly, the boy died from that small pain in his chest.
I don't recall what happened then. I think I must have cried
I put my arms around him and pulled him to my side
And, as I held him to me, I could feel our wounds were pressed
The large one in my heart against the small one in his chest.
You knocked my heart’s door & I let you in
You were a thief; you stole it! Because of how kind you have been
Your words were extremely sweet and I was a sugar addict
You were a psychic because my future works you could predict
You were tremendously thankful for the simplest thing I did
You made me live the dream & dream life like a kid
You planted my garden with flowers of laughs
You filled my sea by drops of hope & faith
You were my mirror; you reflected me perfectly
You were incredibly modest & no word could describe you correctly
You! You! Yes you! Y, O, U! You are simply amazing
You were, are, and will always be miraculously surprising
I wish I could erase all my errors, all my mistakes
To gain your trust and love I’ll do whatever it takes
Believe me honey it kills me when I hear that in your heart is born hate
Because in the end we both know that you are my soul mate.
i wittnessed a war just yesterday,
being the reason for much dismay,
i'm sorry for all the death and blood,
and all the soldiers in the mud,
i wish i could stop it just can't be done,
i'll need everybody including a nun,
i'll need jesus to forgive our sins,
that knock us down like bowling pins,
i'll need everybody to read this poem,
in hopes that all the soldiers get back home.
A penny for my thoughts
I'd be a millionaire
Constantly my thoughts are racing
My mind is everywhere
Should I stay or should i go
Will I win or lose
Can I have my time to shine
Since I have paid my dues
A penny for my thoughts
I wish it were a buck
If I could just collect these thoughts
Then it might change my luck
My thoughts are so abundant
To count them is to many
My mind is worth a whole lot more
Then just one simple penny
Thank you for the beautiful memory
you left on my mind
you are not dead
but you are not here,
to me you are gone,
cos i cant feel you the way i used to,
everything you used to do are left untouched
the space you ocupied is empty,
our yesterday is fading away like the rainbow
so beautiful but so short,
how can i forget the endless yesterday?
when you are here with me.
in loving memory of my sister (you are not an angel but you did what an angel can do,you fly to heaven.)
On that cloudy weekend in June
I hear a soft and graceful tune
from the grey bird on the tree
Singing sweet lullabies felt
blessed in the moment
My body tingles of joy at sight
Gazing out through
my open door,
Letting thoughts fly free
Releasing love out into the horizon
Heart filled with emotion came
Grey bird stood playing its tune
for awhile and on the wings of
Then as the rain fell from the
sky the grey bird flew away
I blew a kiss to the clouds and
utterd these simple words of I
Love You father ( who's now in
heaven ) and yet I hope to hear
that grey bird sing again once
more for me
Farewell, love your son
Poem contest for Debbie -referential
Pain pain go away,
You little b!tch you cannot stay.
I want you gone, Far from me
F*ck off now, and leave me be.
sick of doctors, sick of stress,
Sick n' tired of takin meds.
I want to know what's wrong with me,
A want to be "normal", cant you see?
It wont happen this I know,
With my bloodline,.... it goes to show....
Over and across the moon
In this lonely night,
I stare at the castellation
Which glitters your face.
But because I miss you
The wind whirls out your name
Then eventually it feels like rain in my heart.
As the clouds draw near
Deep down within, my river turns to a sea.
With tears in my eyes,
I look away.
Because I refuse to let the storm determine my destiny
Because it's your hurricane that I fear the most.
I'm writing now oh big bro
Oh! sorry I forgot, yes you said no
To say goodbye and to let you know
That you'll be on my mind wherever I
Well you know I'll never be ur pussy
cat nor teddy bear
Whatever you wanna call me now...I
You think you're the one who's hurt,
well you're wrong dear
The truth is that I'm the one suffering
No no plz dnt you ever apologize
I'm the one who's sorry for telling
To you?! Yeah right that's what you
have always thought
But I was lying to myself believe it or
No more stories,no more pain
Gonna spread my wings, fly in the
Now each one is going his own way
Well that is all I have to say
If you change your mind I'll be
waiting for you
Ready do hear and forgive like I
The fact is you'll never know what
you did to me
Though I'll never consider you as an
Oh how I wish to hear from you
Saying, sister come close to me,
together we will run the world.
Loss of ambition
Looks like I’m on a mission
Or some sort of a competition
Is it the end?
Should I be where I stand?
I cannot understand
I’ll just smile and pretend…
Looks like I’m lost
Not completely but almost
Disoriented, adrift and scared most
No way to hide or to escape from that ghost
Hunting me day and night
Making sure I don’t feel alright
Life's gifts is of all the good and
Never knowing what may arise
An angel is everlasting hope we
long to have and to hold
We have watched you through
just like a hawk
We will never give up on you
we know you are strong
Who the angels will pull you
Where there is a will there's a
And with god looking over us
well know we will be safe
Even tho this deadly danger of
a disease took you over
We know in our hearts that
steady burns yull be ok
As a fighter like Athena (a
warriors guide)you will grow
Even now we see your alot
Must be these guardians of
heaven looking over you
Feeling good with this is all you
This danger none should live
But as long as there is Angels
up above its all you will ever
need to pull through
A tragic time.
- by Brian O'Toole
Caregiver of a cancer patient
WHERE HAS MY LOVE GONE
WHY HAS MY FLOWER BURNED ....?
WITHOUT ONE SINGLE SPRING
LIKE ROSES TRAMPERED
MY HEART HAS LONG BEEN GONE
YEARS PAST, MONTHS PAST
TIME AFTER TIME
ALL WASTED THOUGHTS TO SPEAK OF LOVE AGAIN
FEELINGS THAT THEN WAS SWEET
LIKE INDEED HONEY FROM THE BEES......
ONE WOULD INDEED AGREE
THE DAYS OF LOVE ARE GONE!
BUT IF REALLY ITS NOT?
THEN ALL WE HAVE AND SHARE:
IS NOTHING BUT FAINTED LOVE!!!
As a tear rolls down i dont make a sound
i stay still i think what do i do
do i live do i die do i cry
do i go on living this lie
the lie i say all the time,that im okay , im fine, im happy
but really in side im dieing
every day i hear people say your ugly, your weird, the rate on how pretty you are is 0 or 2, why dont you just die
life should be precous, should be fun but all it does is bring pain and sorrow
im sitting here with a knife in my hand thinking what to do
do i keep feeling pain and cry every day
do i stay and get called ugly and stupid and get treated like *****
or should i just end it now
im allways getting teased and made fun of all the time
maybe its time to end it all
is life really worth living?
On my vision and swum one
Sprawls the heart of those humans
Ah! They say funnily
Not knowing my stay
Why? In such a way.
What matters only viewing outside colour?
Innerly they knew me I’m fish ever
They want to keep me in aquarium
Construing a four wall of transparent
Limiting me within four feet boundary.
Treasured only to provide them pleasure
I’m with my fate not happy always
Waiting time to get old in the slap of time.
In midnight skies the cries of love drift off to sleep in endless love.
For he who heard them.
Sent them hope, that God created a world for them.
For us to see and bare good times.
For no more hurt and devishlish crimes.
For the earth which once was good.
Is soured and torn.
There are no morals or dreams no more.
Or hope of good things when suffering soars.
For they are crushed by his vast sword.
For he who has the greater sin.
He has carried and been burdened with.
He has been forgotten.
In times like these.
Because people hearts bleed with disease.
For they have burdened him with more sin.
They have forgotten the pain he is in.
For he so carried his cross with pride.
A younge man who was destined to die.
No matter what the world does think.
This man did live before we did.
We have lost our way in darkened times.
Like lost sheep we have roamed, away from him.
If youd only listen and help to carry his cross.
Take the blame for things done past.
Change our ways for hope to last.
We wont do that out of pride.
When he is denied.
I feel for him.
I pick his cross up and help him off the ground.
For he is my brother.
Who I have found.
He has carried that cross.
No man deserved his life in such a lose.
Tormented and torturded to no extent.
He didnt look like a mere man in the end.
He coutinued to stand even after he fell.
Showing me the strength of Heaven and hell.
For a man so strong, so bold and kind.
Showed me what we can do as man kind.
He gave his life for everyone who reads this.
For those who can not see.
Do not be blind
Find this man, for he needs you.
He gave his life to save you.
With your help, you raise his cross.
You heal that burden of love.
That has been lost.
Ease his pain and find your way.
For Heaven is a start and hell is a step away.
Sometimes I like to pretend, things never came to a end. But over time, our love became a crime. I didn't know what we had, would ever end so bad. But then I knew things weren't right, when we started to fight. Now I walk down memory lane all the time, the pain is worst then committing a crime. We only caused eachother pain, but we were eachothers maine. I thought things would be alright, but I cried alot that night. I don't want things to change, without you my life is strange. You said you wanted me so much it started to hurt that you couldn't wait, now im just another person you hate. When you said you didn't care, I knew the person I loved was no longer there. You aren't the same, the new you is lame. We both fell, now it's hell. You use to always be here for me, like family. But now your nowhere in sight, things aren't right. Empty is all that I can feel, I still can't believe this is real. I didn't mean to let you get away, I didn't know what to say. Am i with the right guy, or am i telling myself a lie. I was afraid to loose what we had, but to you that choice was bad.
im so sad
i dont know what to do why is life so sad n dark
i hide in the dark
i like being in the dark
the pain of losing people
the pain of losing my family to my step mom she just took every thing away
i like darkness i feel pain
i hide my feeling
i feel like im on the edge of being gone 4 ever
i dont talk to any one i rather stay in my room in the dark
i want to cry every day i want to disaper
the darkness is taking over me
its taking me to a deep dark place i dont want to be
I really hate this feeling, sometimes I wish I could stop breathing. I don't wanna try, just leave me here to die. You were the thing that made my life living for, but your no longer mine anymore. I feel so much pain, sometimes I believe I'm going insane. I'm missing what we had, although it was bad. I'm always walking down memory lane, why can't you see my pain? I know people change, &&' things get strange. I guess I gotta face it, she's my new replacment. I can't believe it's really over this time, I feel as if i have commited a crime. I live in a world of sorrow, so I don't ever worry about tomorrow. I didn't even have time to cry, because i had already said bye. I feel like I'm digging a deeper whole, so I'm hoping Jesus will take control. I'm sorry for my dumb mistake, but baby now I'm wide awake.
I feel really hurt, I hope you don't notice the mascara stains on your shirt. I dont want you to know I still cry, I dont want you to know your the reason why. I know I have made many mistakes and caused you many heartaches. But I dont know how you handle this pain, I'm going insane. I feel like that one lie, has done more than make me cry. Its caused me to look at you a different way, its caused me to overthink everything you have said or say. I dont want us to change but now things feel so strange. I guess I'll just have to adjust but I dont have anyone to trust. I dont know what all you have said is true, I dont know what to do. Should I be mad, is it okay for me to be sad. I hate the fact but I don't know how to react. I didn't exspect for that to happen, I wasn't prepared for my heart to be broken. I thought we we didnt keep secrets from eachother, I thought we could trust one a nother. But you have proven me wrong, showed me I'm not strong. I just hope you gain my trust back, before things get all wack.
At night i weep,
in silence i grieve,
how can i sleep?
when it is hard to breath,
During the day i laugh,
with friends i converse,
but the day wont last with the turning of earth,
with dark skies comes heartache,
as the stars flicker and blaze,
there only so much i can take,
of these suffocating days,
when the day starts anew,
and the sun brings the morning light,
i momentarily forget about you,
until the return of night,
when i see the midnight moon,
and feel the stars in the sky,
i close my eyes in this room,
and pray i make it by,
for when the sun is shinning high,
and the heat consumes my fright,
i cant help but wonder why
i must suffer the prison of night
life alone is bitter and cold
with no one to love no one to hold
the long dark nights waking up on your own
got money to spend but no one to phone
to live like this
to die with my shame
to have love for so many with nothing to gain
but where all born with a purpous reason for life
but mine has been shattered like the shine off a knife
say the meaning of life and it looses its shine
no one can own it to me it is all mine
can life be this cruel or is it just me
ive lost the way to my heart and i cant find the key
to write all my feelings to write all my pain
my heart is now empty cold like the nigh rain
but we all must be love to be loved and forgotten
to be buried six feet under and left to go rotten
although i am 20 and my life is ahead
but my pain will go on until i am dead
Hush now my
dear no more tears
shall fall, what once
was, is no more, so
hush now no more
Take my hand don’t
look back, it’s time
to heal and let him
fade ,hush now no
more tears his love
for you forgotten,
yes your biggest
fear , come with me
I can set your pain
free ,it’s up to you
and me he will no
longer be , so hush
my dear no more
tears your heart
goes black for all
that you have done,
what once was is
done, take my hand
don’t be scared let
me set you free,
look into my eyes
give me all your
sadness and fears,
hush now you
scared soul lay back
let me take control,
stop fighting and
crying for he has
moved on time to
let one last tear set
you free, hush my
dear there goes the
last tear this will
only burn for a
minute, then my
broken girl you will
be set free, you look
at me with fear your
heart begins to fade,
follow the light my
child it’s time to
fade away, your
blood drips down
the table I can hear
the cries poor out,
they fill the room
with fire as your
body goes numb
your mind begins to
slip away, hush my
dear there goes
your tears, the pain
is gone and so are
They all gather to
shed their tears over
you as they say
goodbye, in a
whisper through the
air they hear your
voice say hush my
loves don’t cry I will
always be hear, as
the years go by
your children hold
you close, the man
you broke still
days he held you ,
as his day comes to
a long lived end he
takes on last breath
and hears you say,
hush hush my love
it will be okay take
my hand I will show
you the way, now
your time is endless,
no more grey ,your
hearts are warm the
tears no more, you
walk away as
one ,never looking
back hush my dear
your safe now let us
Lament of my heart
sang by my soul.
Remarks of the hurt
visible through thy hole.
This pain in deadly fatal,
my aim is to have it
the agony is getting
damn you've hurt me and
now i'm toxic.
I hide my pain and
behind my wide smile.
I avoid watery eyes
by remindin myself
about what we used to
I'm torn deep inside
my rib cage.
My organs are interrupted
by the cuts your
has caused to my heart.
My patience and
to lack due to the damage
you done in my soul.
I bleed the reaction
i do when my blood
circulation is disturbed
by the blood clots caused
by the pain you've caused
My brain aches,
my heart is wounded,
my mind is swollen,
my soul is over stitched
I'm torn and nothing
can be done to fix me up,
I give away my boots,
hand in my membership
hang my jersey,
leave the field
and quit the game...
ALWAYS WONDERING WHAT TO DO WHEN THERES NO ONE TO TURN TO
BUT PEOPLE FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD
CANT TALK TO FAMILY
DAD AND MOM NEVER AROUND
EVEN YOUR SIBLINGS FEEL AGAINST YOU
FIDDLING IN YOUR MIND WHO TO TRUST
GIVING UP SOUNDS SO GOOD BUT
HOLDING ON TO WHAT YOU HAVE WONDERING
IS THERE A WAY TO BE HAPPY AGAIN
JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME
KNOCKING IS WHAT YOU HEAR
LISTENING THROUGH THE DOOR
MUST BE YOUR MIND PLAYING TRICKS
NOT KNOWING FOR SURE MAKES YOU WONDER DOES ANYONE SEE THE PAIN I FEEL
OR AM I THE LAST THOUGHT TO COME TO MIND
PUTTING EVERYTHING BEFORE YOU
QUITE THE TEARS HAVE BECOME
REALLY WONDERING WHAT TO DO
SITTING AROUND THINKING BOUT THE WHAT IFS
TRYING TO FORGET THE NIGHTMARES OF THE PAST
UNDERESTIMATING YOUR CAPABILITIES
VIVIDLY THE PAIN STAYS IN YOUR MIND
WONDERING WHAT TO DO WHEN THE WORLD SEEMS AGAINST ?
Who will hush the child in the man,
Who smiles by day and weeps at night?
Who will put a smile on his heart,
Greater than the fake on his face?
Who will hold his hand into the light,
And lead him to luminated paths?
His heart is heavy and weighed down
With many shadows from the past.
Shadows that reign in all his dreams.
Who will get rid of the scars,
Scars of the past that mark his heart?
Who can provide what he seeks;
The tender warmth he cherishes
That sews the human race?
What can stop his bleeding heart
From bleeding itself out dry?
Who will clothe his naked skin,
And give him shelter from this cold?
His growing hunger, who will feed?
Who will feed the famished soul in me?