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Social Funny Poems | Social Poems About Funny

These Social Funny poems are examples of Social poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Social Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Limerick | |

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!

Details | Than-Bauk | |

Juicy Kaboosey

her derriere in the air high eyes wearing out
Than-Bauk written for Rick Parise's contest

Details | Haiku | |

It is now

Ain't a word, you said.
but it takes a daring gust 
for things start to be.

Details | Verse | |

Enigma's Calling

Extraordinary, I am 
Craving for unusual thoughts
Endless exploration without boundary
Understanding  the gift I shouldn't fought
Invisible drawings in my mind
Playing with the words in my head
My passion
The food of my soul
I feel so lucky
The random thoughts
A lifetime companion
A self esteem builder
A goal planner
Be my forever life saver
I write more
I talk less
I want to please
I chose to bore
What tickles me the most
Is to know what I'm for
Thinking is my love
When  my mind goes empty
That's when I hate
My day dreaming lust
Organizing things in my mind
Playing roles of simulation
Where images of art is my vision
And words of attitude is my heart

Details | Bio | |

hell was other...

hell was other
people’s lives, 
wayward wit and 
witless pride, 
played upon 
the green of life, 
until the light
was left to right,

hell was other
people’s thoughts,
fraught with that, 
that we applaud, 
aimless aims and 
limbless lots, 
the truth in truth 
we soon forgot,

hell was other 

Details | Rhyme | |

Shameful Morning

not sure how she got here 
only know she needs to leave

underneath the stranger 
my arm numb; asleep, 
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry 

princess of night 
exposed by light. 
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess. 

bed broken
along with my will. 
I swore never again; 
the lie is half the thrill.


Details | I do not know? | |

Kristin Listen!

Hello my friend,
Hope all is well
This is your bud,
'Ol tom bell
You might wish
To read this poem
"Bad Day at the Eyedoctors"
A true tom tale
And shows what a fool I be
So check it out,
And you'll see!

Details | Rhyme | |

Where is the Bathroom?

I had to find a bathroom,
A reasonable request,
I was all alone
And my bladder was quite stressed.

So I asked a man nearby,
“Do you know where a bathroom is?”
He merely shook his head,
And went about his biz.

I continued walking,
And sure enough around,
A woman with her children
Could tell me where a bathroom’s found.

She said, “I have no idea,
I’m busy you can tell.”
She fussed to shush her baby,
Who had just begun to yell.

I continued on my quest,
Moving with rapid stride,
When I found a large restaurant,
Surely, there must be a bathroom inside!

I went up to the waiter,
I said, “I really have to pee.”
Slightly irritated,
I decided to forego all pleasantry.

He said, “Oh, ours isn’t working,
Someone clogged it the day before,
But there is one a few blocks down,
About three or four.”

And so I hurried along,
Quite desperate to find the joint,
My bladder was close to reaching
Its natural breaking point.

I reached a tiny gas station,
Where the clerk mumbled to me,
“We do have an outside bathroom,
But someone lost the key.”

I turned and stomped outside,
I wailed out vehemently,
“How hard is it to find a bathroom
In modern society?”

A gentleman heard my plight,
And said, “You know, there’s a store—“
I interrupted, “Never mind,
I don’t have to go anymore.”

Details | Ode | |

To the Pint

O Guinness, lovely Guinness,
Irish black rose of the night.
I drink in your beauty,
a wonderment of sight!
Velvety raven body,
filling out that cold glass,
I look into your dark eyes,
you wicked, sassy lass.
I watch your tiny bubbles
cascade down and sigh,
like feather-like snowflakes
falling down from the sky.
Your heavenly head leaves
foam above my lip,
I cherish our shared moments
with each tender sip.

Details | Couplet | |


The date was set and the church booked up
Invitations sent out, colors picked, and a hall for the sup.

The bridesmaids and groomsmen had all been chosen
For the date for us on the calendar was now frozen.

The Maid of Honor could only one person be
The Best Man knew this day would be crazy.

For all of the planning, the work, and the tension
Would culminate in this day of anticipation.

The minister counseled us and helped us to plan
But the burden was on us, for this day to span.

We wanted everyone to be as happy with us today
That's why we took so long to plan it this way.

The floweres trimmed the aisle along the carpet white
While all our family and friends dressed festively tonight.

The music started to play as the couples walked the aisle
I was reminded not to cry, instead to give a big smile.

It was my turn to walk the walk now
"Don't slip, don't trip, don't cause a row.

It's the day of the wedding and there is my peer
One question remains, "What am I doing here?"

Details | Light Poetry | |

' Boot-Legged Mama '

Mama and Daddy was always Love-Dovey
She is His Sweetheart – He is Her Honey
First Love… Real Love  -  Forever True
Pa… I Pray to find A Man Like You…

Daddy Laughed and Put His Arm Round My Shoulder
And Said, “I’ll Tell You Somethin’, Now You’re Older
It’s got to do with Your Mother’s Fame
And Why I gave Her, The Nickname…

               … Boot-Legged Mama

                  Boot-Legged Mama
Blue-jean Shorts and Vintage Tony Lama
Walked thru the Door… of A Liquor Store
… Packaged so Pretty… Pa Just had to Pour

               … Boot-Legged Mama

Ma… Was there, to get 6-packs for A Party…
Pa… Was there, ‘cause of a Taste for Bacardi
He took One Look and Knew He Couldn’t Waste Her
Pa… Gave-up ‘Drank’… Just so He Could Chase her !

Dad, Said, ‘He’d Drowned in Dark-Eyes and Sweet-Aroma
Fine-Wine, Crystal… But Tuff’ Nuff’ to Down-Drama
Pa Claims, Mama’s Labeled by the F.D.A.
And Listed on Her Driver’s License is,  A.K.A.  …

               … Boot-Legged Mama

                  Boot-Legged Mama
 Genuine Woman, Who Made Him Wanna’
Take Her to be His Lawful Moonshine
… Married at Midnight – ‘cross The County-Line

               … Boot-Legged Mama

Alcohol’s in Trauma;  and Prohibition Told Her:
"Boot-Legged Mama… Done Drove Pa Sober !"
Now, Homemade-Hooch… is His Acquired Taste
180 Proof… Kicked All Over His Case !

Right Then, Mama Flowed into The Room
Pa, Teased and Said, “Still Full-Bodied and Perfumed !
Ma Hugged Us, then Handed Me – Old Boots and A Dress…
    (and good advice)… “Go Git’ My Elliot Ness…

               … and be a Boot-Legged Mama!

( Hey !... Did I Hear Somebody, In A Country Drawl ….
          Order Up A Bottle of Kicking Alcohol !
         Well, Here She Is… Y'all ! ...
                  Boot-Legged Mama ….

Well John (Moses) Freeman... You Said You Needed
Somethin' :)  to Read tonight, before kicking up your
heels...  Well, Here It Is (Have Fun - Son)


 (Thank You For All Your Wonderful Comments
Now, I Can't Get Thru The Door for My Ego.. (Smile)

Details | Bio | |

Big City, Big Shot Fool (Me)

A true story.

Here I was,
23 or 24...
Classed an "Executive"
NYC Dept Store Chain,
"Executive" label meant
I could work overtime
For one half of my normal salary...
But a fool sees stars
Where he should see crime

Promoted "Furniture Buyer"....
Big Ticket spot....
They seemed out to prove
Smart I was not.

Big Furniture Market,
High Point, N.C.,
Invited out to dinner,
By big shot vendor....
Oh...whoop, whoop, yea!

Of course, my stuffy boss
was there,
In the next chair
At this odd restaurant...
"The Factory" it's name,
After that night,
I was never looked at the same....

Big shot, Big City....
Big Fool....
It wasn't pretty....

The menu did start
Entrees priced more
Than my annual salary
And I'm confused
There's a boiler next to me!

So this Big City Buyer,
In his $99.00 suit
Ordered a shrimp cocktail,
Oh, what a hoot!

Lights flashing....
Like Studio 54
I had no idea
What I was in for!

Got my shrimp cocktail,
Oh, I do love my shrimp!
But the lemon wedge,
Was wrapped up
My mind now a' crimp

In this decorative yellow stuff,
All fit with a bow....
How do I open it, I wondered...
I wanted to know...

But I'm a Big Shot NYC Buyer,
Sure, I've seen it all....
How dare these dumb hicks...
Have such a gall!!

I took my fork,
I took my knike....
I started trying to open
This thing like....
It meant my very life!

I was struggling,
And sweating,
And frustrated and mad
Got some of the weirdest looks
I ever have had...

These Carolina Hicks...
Out to make a fool of me...
Slowly I realized
Everyone looking at me...

My boss's eyes swollen
In shame
How dumb his young buyer
Should be in a cornfield
And call himself "Town Crier"

Eventually I learned....
This stuff was called
Ridiculous I thought...
No cheddar or swiss
Like this had I ever bought...

In silence I remained
Through the rest of my meal....
To me the biggest embarrassment
To me the biggest deal....

Big City Hot Shot Buyer...
Dumb as a farm hand.....
Put in a Manhattan restaurant...
Without but a strand....
Of what was, what wasn't
Of how, and of why...
All I wanted to do
Is to crawl under a rock
And die!

(This is true!!!)

Details | Light Poetry | |


valse,valet a,highland fling
viola,fiddle,music string;
minuet,pavane rondeau
tripping lightly to & fro.

flirty dancing,fancy free
quick-step and ladies excuse-me;
fox trot and last waltz slow,
holding close,as passions grow.

Details | Bio | |


I get a kick outta the writes I see,
So intellectual, how can that be?
I skipped two grades,
Was forced to take IQ tests again,
Cause no one as dumb as me,
Could possibly produce such a score, you see
Got 100% on regents exams,
Passed college entrance tests
Half drunk and dirty of dress
Cause I was up with friends
drinkin' and carousing like the rest,
And, Lord knows how, but I assure,
I aced the test, and even more,
To what was then considered
"The Poor-Man's Harvard"
I cruised through that as well,
No one was gona stop this Bell

But IQ tests, and scholastic grade,
Never has one, of a man be made
I still do get confused,
About how to wear two shoes,
My brain may be book-smart,
But comin' from the heart,
I've trusted when I really shouldn't
Was skeptical when imprudent

So here's this IQ wiz,
Don't know just who he is,
And street smart as a cat,
Caught in Dr. Zeuss's hat.

So teach your children well,
don't grow up to be like Tom Bell

Details | Burlesque | |

Do you?

Do you like to party
Drink Tequila and Bacardi
Shouting lyrics to songs
Guzzling beer from bongs

Do you like to dance
Pelvic thrusting at every chance
Giving girls your card
That says Napoleon Bonaparte

Do you like grassy lands
Holding on with both your hands
Praying for your drunken soul
As the Earth spins out of control

Do you like to drive
Going fifty-three in a thirty-five 
Telling cops you can’t be arrested
Because you might be dyslexic

Do you like to call home 
Collect on your new cell phone
Begging for a second chance
Because Bubba has no pants

Do you like to party
Drink Tequila and Bacardi
Giving your keys to friends 
Because karma has no end

Do you?

Details | I do not know? | |

A Son, a Father and a Donkey (2005)

A young son, a father and a donkey journey across the land
The father rides upon the donkey
They walk through rain, sunshine and hot sand
A villager yells from the top of her voice
“Selfish boy, let your poor father ride, get up and stride”
So he did as he felt he had no choice
Hours past and they went to a stall for a refreshing drink
“That poor donkey carrying your weight, you should get off him don’t you think?”
Everyone in the bazaar looked and shook their head
The father got off and they both walked instead
They struggled along the sandy dusty breeze
They heard laughter coming from behind the trees
 “Fools”!It was a group of schools girls laughing as they talk
“They have a blooming donkey and those idiots still walk!”
More children gathered to join in the fun 
They paused and thought what should be done? 
By the time they thought of the solution everyone had gone
The moral of the story is you can’t please everyone

Details | Senryu | |

the flying saucer

                                            the flying saucer
                                 missing my head by an inch
                                            did you notice it?

Details | I do not know? | |

Starless Night: The Art Of Giving (Rhyme Incorporated) part 2

Thinking of O, Ms. Jill Martin was in her solitude “Quietly…breathing”
That, she just waved her hand greeting April Lewis “Without Speaking”
I spied humorist Donald Meikle, writing a “Note to a Lady in Waiting”

Let’s party! exclaimed silent Sami Al-Khalili, but not “Only In Winter”
That’s a real cool idea, and I said, how about in “The Field Of Summer”
Dame Marcyle Beer offered her place, called “Welcome To Fort Beer”

A rising star Taryn Melville proudly breezed in: saying “I Am From…”
But, party guy Anthony Slauson showed us his “Fingers of Freedom” 
Leaving noble Alyssa Finley’s young mind fixated in “Dreams Come”

A free verse expert JeanMarie Marchese of Homosassa, uttered “Slow”
Let snow lover Linda Smith tell us first her “Footprints In The Snow”
Indeed, we’ve our time to introduce ourselves, before “The Cockcrow”

Sweet Elaine George arrived, when the night still had a “Tender Heart” 
With a special gift, for Raquel Nicholson, ‘cos she has “a broken heart”
I learned that Big John Tanaskow did not wish to go “Back At the Start”

The party made poetic Mark Hansen expressed himself, in “Cloud Nine”
Perhaps he had consumed much of shy type Nicola Steel’s “Plumy Wine”
For he was too excited, to meet a bright Seema Ali, on a “Poetry Online”

Before the party was over, Juanita Ganir, sprung from her “Sacred Well”
And, old Londoner Matt Doe spoke, of his mighty “Showdown In Hell”
To a sexy Tamiviolet Manchas, but, she xoxoxo urged him, “Don’t Tell”

Many thanks, to photographer William Jones, for his “Living In Color”
A souvenir that reflects my own plea to “Make Me Whole, Once More”
A plea to everyone, to all friends, to remember that “My Name Is Thor”

Details | Blank verse | |

Cafe selections

Fish madam?
Price Edwards a Welsh man taught me how to poach eggs fish and rabbits
The recipe for  poached eggs is  universal
Poached perch is.....Take fillets and cheeks saute in butter with a dash of mead
Poached trout........Wrap in aluminum foil with herbs.. throw in small fire
Poached rabbit.....Debone saute in olive oiland butter...add mushrooms and  leek

Poached venison I’ve never tried

Details | Rhyme | |

Not Guilty

I swear it was his fault Your Honor
So put him in his place
He was trying to break my knuckles
By hitting them with his face

Of course I wouldn't hurt him
I would not commit no crimes
You see, he kept falling on my knife
Yes, Your Honor, forty seven times

No I didn't rob the post office
They're just trying to ruin my day
I don't have cash to pay my fine
Will postage stamps be okay

He's lying again, Your Honor
Trying to throw my life into despair
Even though my prints were on his throat
I wasn't even there

     This poem is dedicated to the liberal morons this country has appointed to the 
courts. The sad part is, the parties in these fictional statements would probably 
be found Not Guilty by today's judicial standards. A salute to the vigilantes out 
there who actually protect the victim.

Details | I do not know? | |

21 St. Century

Show down.
Eye to eye,
Tears sweat from it's cheek.
Little bit of a shake in the bodily wise.
"You can't do this to me! Speak in that tone of voice!"
"Look around. They'll think you're insane!"
"Get back in line!"
Cirlcing my lens sight about,
Seeing the expression of anguish hysteria in the norm,
The air is now poisoned with agony emotions.
Who can escape?
High noon like never seen before.
"Don't come any closer!"
"Do you know who I am? 21 St. Century."
"You live in me."
"Play by the rules, be quiet, and take it like a man!"
Smiling infinity within me.
"No! Do not walk away like that!"
"You need me!"
Turn with final words of free,
"Who needs who?"
"Time. A lonely place without man. Better thank the One who keeps you in His 
"As for me. Better things to do. Live on Earth in her humbleness."
"By the way, shut off the light before you leave. Too late! The roundabout living are 
your witnesses that it was done long ago."

(Thank you Jill Martin for your comments on "Blank Screen".  Your comments 
fired me up to write this one.)

Details | Verse | |

Ding Dong The Wicked Witch is Dead

Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Thatcher’s dead.

Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Thatcher’s dead.

Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Thatcher’s dead.

Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
Thatcher’s dead.

Details | Free verse | |

Bladder Problems in Class

Numbers on 
White board…names written hori-

Students ask
To go pee…right when class starts – 
THAT’S just wrong…

Bathroom line
Of students who have bladder
Problems – WOW!

People are
Not using lunchtime to do 
Their business 

No one knows
When to do their duties – SER-

Details | Couplet | |

Living the Dream

My nightmare is so vividly I dream,
The dream, it feels so true to me...reality it seems.

Exhaust and smoke are all I breathe...the air is full of smog...
The job I do is thankless toil, but I work it like a dog.

There's mercury in the fish I eat...there're toxins in my food...
And drugs, they are a constant scourge...myriads for every mood.

Bipolar is my government...a house divided 'tis...
And corporations drive both the pockets of "Big Biz".

The icecaps, they are melting...the sea is rising, too.
Pandas, condors, polar bears -- empty cages at the zoo.

My money ne'er seems quite enough...I'm always out of cash...
My freedom fled when I wed my bride...(live I under the lash).

"Entertainment"? Reality TV...maybe some vampire shows...
Or idjits becoming household names for being beachfront "ho's".

People clamor "climate change" from the seats of S.U.V.'s,
And bitter news on the honey front...what's killing all the bees?

Politicians spending more...we go deeper in the red.
Opinions dressed as "news" journalism dead?

Cell phones are ubiquitous...conversation's endangered now...
And "Kardashians" are famous girls..but who knows why or how?

How strange my twisted psyche is t'make real what must be fake...
Now'f only I could find some way to get myself to wake.

Written on November 27th, 2012
By Daniel Beus (Rebel Sun)

Details | List | |

I love

I love your soft kisses.I love firm but gentle touch.  I love the way you bite your lip.I love you soooooo much.
 I love the way you look at me.I love the way you smile.  I love the way you're shy sometimes,Every once and a while.
 I love it when you look at me, When I'm not looking at you.  You think I do not realize it, But really...I do.
 I love the way you cuddle. I love the way you sleep.  I love how you bite your lip when something turns you on. I love the way you rub your neck,when you are thinking so deep.
I love all of you,Your nose, your lips, your hair, even your smelly feet.  I love how you drink Dr Pepper. Morning noon and night.  I love how if someone puts me down your always there first one there ready to fight.  I will never stop loving you. You are so amazingly sweet.
 I love that I love you.I have loved you from the very start.  I LOVE ALL OF YOU,You alone hold the key to my heart.

Details | Burlesque | |

Redneck FATHER'S DAY------


"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ta'days father's day!" 

© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire


Details | Light Poetry | |

Song of the Used Car Salesman

“Hello, hello Good Morning!” The salesman says, (though it’s actually late 

(We can’t have them rushing off,) he thinks, (when I have cars to move!)

“See this little beauty…” (The side I’m leaning on anyway!)

“I’ve so many interested buyers, I’m sure, this car will sell today!”

The salesman sizes up the couple who clearly like the car.

“Zero to sixty in nothing flat!” (Though you may not get that far!)

“Previous owner? Took fine care.” (To wreck the interior in the rear!)

“Runs so smooth, purrs like a cat.” (But sticks when changing gears.)

The well learned smile, the soothing voice, the salesman sees his chance.

“Let’s step inside, we’ll work it out, my dears you can always finance!”

(The hidden costs, no don’t mind those, just the way it’s done.)

“Sure come on in, have a seat, this is when it becomes fun!”

As usual the costs are more than they think they can afford.

(Of course if we didn’t start out doubled, we salesmen would get bored!)

“Now look here it’s just a bit more, I know just how you feel.

With a car like this, I’m the one who loses. Believe me this is a great deal!”

(Yes indeed I lose this bucket of bolts I’ve had to push.

Never mind the oil leak, or the tires have turned to moosh.)

 “Well… because you seem so nice I’ll take this much off too.”

(There they are the happy smiles, too bad the jokes on you!)

The salesman he waves goodbye as the car drives off the lot.

Another couple, a little wide eyed, sees the new car in its spot.

“Hello, hello! Good afternoon!”(Sunset reflecting off of the wheel.)

“I’ve another buyer for this one but… you look nice, let’s make a deal!”

Details | Light Poetry | |

Star Trek Rules

Star Trek Rules!

It was time for: Comic Con! Comic Con! Dragon wanted to come, too!
But then so did everyone else at Troll Lake… Hey, now, wouldn’t you?
We made some really cool costumes… for the costume show, my Dear.
You can guess, ‘Star Trek Rules!’ It couldn’t be anything less, you hear. 

Our favorite nighttime popcorn show, would truly now, become a part of our lives! 
The penguins got permission from the zoo; to go… great publicity, so very wise.
McRacoon had his Las Vegas Dragons get us, and a mock saucer, there, all on time.
Naturally pre-registered and in costume, we strutted in! Hi there! Began the playtime!

Man we were really cool, as the guest actors ask for OUR autographs. For Real!
Pictures were snapped, and a poster made, to be signed by everyone, so cheerful.
It’s highest bid, given to charity, would be a nice touch, for everyone in our crew.
The costume show was set outside, where all the dragons, could fly in, or out, too.

And a small mock, star ship was landed on stage, so we could enter with more flare.
Lord a mercy! Look at us! We’d never be like this, again! We were like stars, I swear!
Grandpa Troll, became Mr. Spock, naturally, because he was so, very clever and wise.
Our neighbor witch, was Uhura, due to her great ability to, protect everyone’s’ lives. 

Borp the Frog became Sulu, so he could take us up to Borp speed, with laser effects!
Hubby was Scotty, with the Tinker Trolls in engineering, for special effects, so perfect!
The penguins were the beloved crewmembers, running with lasers, all over the place.
The powder puff tribbles, got wet, so yes, became the ‘Trouble with Dribbles’, in space.

The Mary River Turtles wanted to be Checkov. What a groovy, exciting, security team.
Dragon wanted to be Captain Kirk, you know, like totally, in command… At the scene!
All agreed, I’d be a great Dr. McCoy, since I always get to, kiss the Boo- Boo’s away.
The Weird Frogs were the Aliens, chasing everyone mindlessly, around, the set, that day.

And the Las Vegas Dragons, became attacking star ships, over which our lasers won!
The crowds went wild, and we won first place in their hearts, as well as, in their minds!
Everyone had, such a good time, so the Trek continued, well after, when we got home.
That year Comic Con made the National news, and of course, nobody, was surprised!

As the residents of Troll Lake and Acorn Falls… continue to Trek on… every day!

By Mike and Carol Eastman… 

Details | List | |

Rules in the eyes of a toddler

If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed, stepped on or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, must make her dirty
If it is sibling, must slap,kick,and fight.
If it has four legs, must squeeze tight until makes noise
If big person is on phone, must make lots of noise
If tv is not on cartoons, scream until they are
If food is not good, throw it, refuse to eat it and cry until big people give you something good

Details | Limerick | |

This ones for the gals

What gospels on sunday afternoon
Are four quarters male members tune
With flat screens on wall?
The chair-men want football
And shall yell like a wild baboon

Author's note: This poem was inspired by Lori Hopkin's "This ones for the guys" which is worth a good look.  My apologies to all baboons who are much gentler and finer than I.  Sad to resort to using their species as a stereotype just for the sake of a rhyme.

Details | Rhyme | |

Walk Of Shame

Walk Of Shame

Did you see that girl walk by?
I can tell, she got a guy
It's 9am, her hair's a mess
Sunday morning in a party dress?

Mascara run, lipstick smeared
She thought, this hour, all coasts were cleared
Oh but no, her I did see
And as she stumbled, she saw me

High heels on, cell in hand
Back to the dorms, she walked on Grand
Walk of shame, oh how you expose
The true nature of the hoes

Guys wake up to chill on their lawn
As freshmen girls grudgingly pursue on
Calling out, "Well how was your night!?"
Girls wish their walk was out of sight

I just laugh and point them out
More so notifying all via shout
"Walk of Shame, that is you!"
These young girls, they've got no clue

The ones who get it, then take off
Again next weekend, it's never enough
Get any guy, hooking up's their game,
But each time regretting the walk of shame.

You might think I judge too hard
Not giving them the innocent card
I shouldn't talk, I'm such a hypocrite
That was me yesterday morning, I will admit.

Details | Limerick | |

Eating out

Loud speech in restaurants is crude
Why are the obnoxious so rude?
Their noise should be banned
This is not a food stand
But a place we pay for the mood

Author's note:  My wife and I went out for dinner with friends last night.  That was the inspiration for the limerick above.  However, this is also an allegory for what is wrong in today's world.  There is a critical shortage of consideration for others.

Details | Free verse | |

Three Inch Cliches

The Soul is the Beautiful Light of Love
Shining like the sun through the 
As the reader, I’m going to have to cut you off there.
Here’s a metaphor for you…
Reading is ****ing.
And your words hit our auditory canals
Like a hotdog down a hallway.
As an experienced reader, I’m after 
The virgin vernacular 
The aphrodisiac aphorism
You know- the big… black words
You feel me?
Because a line is a flashlight, exposing the world’s nudity-
And we’ll never get anywhere shining it in the same spot.
So kiss me with classy couplets
Smack my assonance!
Bring me to the climax-
And we’ll share a smoke together,
Warm beside the fire of your Three Inch Clichés.

Details | Free verse | |

Grandma Was Dancing

She was a tappin' to the tunes...
of those Mississippi blues...
step-pin' out, in her white...
Pat-en-leather shoes,

We were a watchin' her a prancin',
all through the kitchen, dancin'...
for she was & sizzlin'...
hummin' to those Mississippi tunes...

Funny curlers too, upon...
her head...for a new... Hair dew,...
she was, a swirlin'-in that bakers apron,
when her a bobbin' to...
those Mississip-pi blues,

'Pots were a knockin'...
Grandma a sockin' down all she brews,
while that kettle there was whistlin',
in har-mo-ny, with them good ole...
good ole...mississip-pi moves,'

That floor there, was a bouncin'
holdin' hands we were a jumpin',
an-a hoppin' In the kitchen, to those...
                  sounds ...
Where Grandma's feet were a stompin',
In her new...New-white-sexy-pat-en-
(ya hoo)

Details | Rhyme | |


What's in a sound, that has no word
But to our souls and spirits it’s the best thing heard
Laughter is a pleasant sound, 
It spreads joy all around.
Whether you're young or old, laughter can be like magic to our souls
Even with a joke to a boring person laughter can control
A cure for something that seems impossible to endure
Laughter comes spontaneously
And makes you happier instantly
I think worry is an invisible tumor 
But it can be cured by humor 
To giggles, sniggers, chuckles, mutters, murmurs, and mumbles
I laugh so hard my words start to stutter and stumble
Who could not love the sound of laughter to it there is such a happy ring
And the simple gift of laughter it is such a wonderful thing
Laughter is the best medicine
While crying is an unforgivable sin
To laugh is always such great fun 
It relieves the soul, the heart, and the lungs 

“The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.” 
 Shirley MacLaine

Details | Light Poetry | |

Face book status

 I have face book on my smart phone
 And get some notifications yesterday
 I was driving down by k mart
 But was curious to see what it says

 But as I pick up my phone 
 A police stop and give a ticket to me
 I have to pay $250 to see
 Some one post “they feeling lazy”

What is wrong with this people?
 Like face book have them going mad
 They posting all kind of craziness
 Like “I wake up and feeling sad”

Face book is a social media
 To connect with friends and family
 But some people get the wrong ideas
 And use it as their personal diary

 Face book can be very entertaining
 With some very interesting post to see
 I just use it to share my poems
 And nothing personal about me

 But sometime it does make me wonder
 If face book getting to people brain
 Why else would some one want to post
“I going back to sleep again”

So let us get this straight
 They wake up to say “going to sleep again’
If you don’t find something wrong with this
 Then I’m the one going insane

 A woman post pix of her lavish Sunday meal
 On the table with the candles lights dim
 Then writes” romantic dinner for me and hubby”
But this morning she was quarrelling with him

 Yesterday a girl post a lot of bad words
 Then today she only posting religious
 And when I ask her about it 
 She said I’m being ridiculous

 The men crazy for face book to
 But they keep them posting informative
 And one in a while they may post a joke
 But nothing to derogative

 Men like to read what them women post
 They have us curious and amuse
 Although some we don’t understand
 And some does left us confuse

 Amanda changing profile pix every minute
 Face book can’t keep up with she
 So they make a new site just for her
 And call it ‘Amanda’s library”

A couple goes to the grocery
 And post their location where they are
 To share the very interesting facts 
 That they buying rice and flour

 Some goes out with friends and family
 And post very pictures
 Them some does post interesting words
 From the Holy Scriptures

 A lot of people use face book 
 The way it was intended to be
 And then some just use it 
 Show case their stupidity

Details | Rhyme | |

Oodles of Joy

"Oodles of Joy"
In the morning of everyday i 
I make a food that's really 
Crunch'em, rip'em, and pour'em out 
As saliva pools form in my 
Put it in the mic for just about 
Impatiently  watching those 
beautiful noodles waiting for 
When the time Is up
I Pop it open and take them out 
And start shoving "Oodle's of 
Noodles" into my mouth. 
Khalil Wali

Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

A Boxcar Named Desire

No, we weren't a couple one expected. 
"What could she be thinking", one reflected. 
Yet we held an undefined attraction; 
Some subconscious neuron interaction. 

After weeks we gathered our composure 
Time to face my parents' first exposure. 
True, your looks were just a bit off kelter(sic). 
Poets often live at homeless shelters. 

Mother stiffened, held her throat, and gasped. 
Father never moved, in shock perhaps. 
Then we vowed to do what we must do. 
Freight trains leave at seven, ten and two.

Gene Bourne


Details | Narrative | |

The Sad Truth About Life

Oh the horror! For people, it's just fun!

Details | Alliteration | |

Banana Boat Bob

<                        Banana ~ boat ~ Bob ~ is ~ a ~ slippery..... Boob
                          Thought ~ that ~  this ~ town ~ lost ~ it's .... groove
                          No ~ spice  ~  no ~  life ~ no  .... nothing
                          Little ~ lost ~ boy ~ now ~ looks ~ for ~ his ~ Lucy's ....  ring

                          When ~ where ~ what ~ or ~ even ......  why
                          I'll ~ inquire ~ insist ~ innovate ~ or ~ even  ..... lie
                          His ~ history ~ of ~ having ~ such ~ big ....... hamstrings
                          Maybe ~ even ~ mighty ~ magical ~ musical ~ fruits ~ and .... greens

                         Or ~ having ~ big ~ over-sized ~ onions ~ olives  ~ and ..... Kiwi
                         screw ~ this ~ he's ~ scum  ~ skewered ~ tossed ~ back ~ to ... sea
                         Poor ~ precious ~ pretty ~  Lucy ~  got .......    pranked
                         Cause ~ curious ~ Bob ~ couldn't ~ control ~ love ~ so ~ he ....  sank


                        All ~ alone ~ and ~ now ~ very .... angry
                        Drowing ~ deep ~ in ~ own ~ do-do  ~ droppings .... whopie 
                        Luscious ~ Lucy ~ now ~ can ~ look ~ long ~ and ...... hard
                        For ~ another ~ fast ~ floating ~ free ~ salemens ~ not ~ selling.... lard

Entry For
Linda Marie's
Luscious Love Lingers Contest
G.L. All

Details | Rhyme | |

The Yorkshireman

Now ma mate Geoff's a Yorkshireman,
A Doncaster lad, born n bred,
Full o' fun but thick in t'ead,
Now ah can say this wi'out insultin',
'cos e's me mate an we gerron great,
Ah calls 'im rotten when we're in t'shop,
an 'e gi's it back, n thinks 'e's on top.
I'm a Lancashire lad, born n bred,
'e sez ahm same, thick in t'ead,
Insults we chuck alt' time at each other,
But Ah loves 'im like 'e were me brother.
Anyone comes wi' insult for 'im
As ter get past me an' that would be grim.
Ah banter is fun an' nowt else tha' see,
Ah jabs at 'im an' e' jabs at me.
So don't get t' thinkin' as Roses War's still on,
When we as a go, it's just fer ah fun.  

© Dave Timperley 2012

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Lost Musketeer

Strode the red with a somewhat elegant stance.
Posture strut, apparel of a musketeer from France.
Outstanding panache surely caught the glance
Of the staring virgins, of the glaring aunts.
Flipped the cattle into a ga ga trance....
Did I make a wrong landing, by the faintest chance?
For the ga ga now seemed  more like a look of askance.
Clearly, I was an optical nuance.

Details | Burlesque | |

Suburban Spring

Suburban Spring	

	Springtime fills the air, 
			like laughing gas.
		(Or maybe more like whiskey.)
The suburbs are drunk on the nectar of it's dawn.
	Middle-class houses 
			are starting to dance.
		(Or maybe they're just wobbling.)
They vomit whole families onto their lawn.

			I watch them the same way dogs watch TV:
				Confused and intrigued, 
		with a slight urge to pee.

	The father cuts grass, 
			like a sleepwalker.
		(Or maybe more like a zombie -
Ravenous for cheap beer, instead of brains.)
	A six pack later, 
			he starts washing his car.
		(Or watering his driveway.)
He's spreading on wax so he's set when it rains.

	The mother kneels in dirt, 
			tending the garden.
		(More like digging in a sandbox.)
Her spade is rusty.  (Figuratively, at least.)
	A sunset later, 
			she cooks family dinner.
		(Or maybe orders some pizza.)
(If every mouth is fed, she can call it a feast.)

			I watch them the same way dogs watch TV.

	The son plays war games, 
			dying for fun.
		(Or maybe more for practice.)
He whines about fruit drinks, as well as the heat.
	A full pitcher later, 
			tweaking on sugar,
		(Or maybe just corn starch.)
the war escalates, 'til its time to go eat.

	The daughter makes a picnic, 
			inviting her toys.
		(Or maybe not.)
(Her plastic spread can only spread so thin!)
	After the tea time, 
			she's off picking flowers.
		(Or maybe weeds.)
(As long as they're pretty, there's a vase that they'll fit in.)

		They gather, as a family, at the table to say grace.
		They hold each others' hands and say, "Amen."  
			(And proceed to stuff their face.)

	The dog sits by the boy - 
			Loyal and true.
		(Or maybe just hungry.)
He drools as he stares from the corners of his eyes.
	After dinner, 
                     he offers to help with the dishes.
		(Or maybe he demands it.)
The boy sneaks him a bite.  The dog is not surprised.

	Bedtime comes soon after.  
			The kids are sent to brush their teeth.
		(Or maybe just to run the sink.)
They put on their jammies, and to bed, they go.
	After tucking them in, 
			the parents watch TV.
		(Or maybe they just dream they do, 
					sleeping in its glow.)

	The dog is changing channels, 
			looking for a better show.
				Confused and intrigued, 
		he pees on the carpet below.

Details | Sonnet | |


They assigned me me to write a sonnet about the life of a drunken writer
whose dream wouldn't shatter, but his foolishness wasn't in the past tense; 
he spent endless hours reading blogs of people who didn't make sense...
in chat rooms he found geeks, charlatans and a casual liar. 
These are the ones who can text all day as kids do for fun... 
what's the excuse for being late and perform with a brainless head?
Here's proof of his laziness: he didn't write anything to earn him bread.   
" Wake up, your work is piling snore as pigs in a barn! "
the co-worker in the next booth sneered as the boss approached Fred
who stuttered and tried to explain why he couldn't get the work done...
while his breath stunk and couldn't stand him looking awfully mad.
" I need that article by tomorrow, or you'll get a pink slip and are gone! " 
" Sir, the last article was a liked that sex-pot with those boobs! "
" Why can't I write about today's generation who have the speed of raccoons? "

Details | Free verse | |

Ramblings of a Graveyard shift worker....

I used to complain about having to work at night on weekends.
Everyone was having fun but li'l ol' me.
Some years back I had an epiphany on the matter.
Suddenly, I had time to cash my check AND pay my bills!
Then, I might possibly catch a movie, which has plenty of seating on Monday nights!
But my favorite part is: The People Zoo.
I started visualizing folks in their cubicles and at their counters as exhibits.
You find mostly monkeys in cubicles working for some government agency.
The sharks you'll find in the car lots and on showroom floors.
The insects buzzing and dutifully mimicking their peers are found at schools.
The buzzards and carrion feeders can be found at law firms and in courtrooms.
The bulls and bears can be found scrapping it out on Wall street,
While the elephants and donkeys exchange insults on the TV monitors.
The pigs are found cruising the streets making sure the rats and snakes don't take over.
The blood-sucking Vampire bats can be found working for insurance companies.


Just a warning: Most of these exhibits offer you no protection from the brutality of nature!
There are no tour guides and no guarantees of safety or fun.....
And, one more thing: They will eventually come to see you in YOUR exhibit!

Details | Limerick | |

Thanksgiving in the mirror

With "plenty" this culture's endowed 
Bad outcomes are never allowed!
But nature's stealthy
And notes for the wealthy
Silver linings come with a cloud

Details | ABC | |

The Three Floozies Mary, Flo and Burly (A known Feminist)

Come join the three for another cheap, meaningless day in their lives
They consider themselves to be hip, part of the same sex marriage, Burly the 
husband, Flo and Mary the wives
Their day always starts at the breakfast table bashing  the males that exist 
They wish the males could be on the endangered species list
Sometimes things change among the three, as the estrogen level rises in Burly
Once a month, she wants to be a wife and act very girly
As for Mary and Flo, they think Oprah is hot
Burly thinks Rosie O'Donnell has the goodies she so much has sought
They sip their Busch Beer out of Nascar Coozies
There is no more room for anymore women within the circle of The Three 
From their point of view, all men should be women's slaves
Burly  has a strong scent of Old Spice after shave
They love watching domineering women type movies
The popcorn is shared by all Three Floozies
They go out to only all girls clubs
They cheer on the under dogs, their favorite one is the Chicago Cubs
Their closets are full of clothes by Dickies
They leave each other love notes on little stickies
Mary likes champagne on a store brand  soda budget
Flo likes Butterbeans with cumin to make them smell pungent
Burly likes Pickled Eggs and sardines
Burly's favorite movie line is In space no one can hear you scream
Flo's favorite movie line is Go ahead, make my day
Mary's favorite movie line is My name is Chucky, do you wanna play?
Burly dreams of one day wrestlin' steers
Mary is concerned that Burly one day will leave, that's her worst fear
Flo watches the WWE, she is such a loyal fan
Burly uses her forehead to smash empty beer cans
None of you are mothers, so on your peanut butter selection, quit being choosy
Mary, Flo and Burly are today's Three Floozies

Details | Light Poetry | |

Home Sweat Home

A triangle top
A square foundation
A picketed white fence guarded 
two spotted dalmatians sitting on the
shaggiest rug that reads
"Home Sweat Home"

Details | Free verse | |

I'll Take The Tall, Dark and Handsome, Oh, I Mean Coffee, To

She looked shyly at him from behind her menu
His eyes were a baby blue that sent chills
Through her whole body; she could melt right here 
And have that waitress he’s talking to mop her up
Typical Barbie doll type with an pretentiously
Effervescent personality that makes you want to 
Roll your eyes and scoff--The environment they 
Were in was a hustle and bustle type of place 
Where time waits for no soon as people
Were done eating, they were cleared out and 
Another party was ushered in

“It is essential to business that you eat,
Order and then leave.” The Barbie Doll waitress’ 
Nasal twang only served as a catalyst for 
Her frustration--She kept peering over her 
Menu at the Adonis that kept her enraptured
“Well Honey, what’s it gonna be?”
Barbie’s voice oozed of impatience
Not taking her eyes off The Gorgeous One,
She replied softly, “I need more time.”
Barbie’s demeanor escalated from 
Impatience to hysterical--“More time! 
Honey, you gotta order, or you gotta go!” 
As the hand went to the waist
And the hip thrusted out.

Now she had enough of this witch and her
Attitude---Why couldn’t she just go somewhere
Nice to eat and be able to enjoy the view?
“No, I don’t gotta go---You do! She exclaimed
As she stood up, knocking her bag to the floor; 
Menu flailing back and forth
You are SO nasty, why would I want to eat
Here? You probably SPIT in the food!”
The waitress stood back, aghast
What evolved next was most of the patrons
Getting up and leaving; unpaid checks and
Half-eaten plates the fallout of this outburst
The owner, who tried to assure people there was
No saliva in the food, bellowed for the waitress
To get into his office while the rest of the staff
Scurried around trying to recover from the 
Losses they incurred

As she took a deep breath, picked up her
Bag and her dignity, The Gorgeous One 
Came from behind, put his arm around her
And smiled
“That was the greatest thing I ever saw,
He said as his eyes shone intensely on her
What’s your number?” And she felt like a
Rocket flying to the Moon
Elation to go.........with a side order of

Details | Free verse | |

It's a really obscure poem, you probably haven't heard of it

Oh, you’re cool. Deck.
With your battered copy of Naked Lunch
tucked away in your thrift-store
		-satchel, it’s definitely a satchel-
that holds your cigarettes,
the ones you bummed last Wednesday,
and the extra scarf you keep with you
	at all times
just in case your neck gets cold,
which it seems to often,
even though its brother is always
wrapped loosely around your neck.
That iPod in your hand
with the huge headphones
		-for better acoustics-
is playing that band you like,
the one with the synth player
who can also play both
the didgeridoo and keytar
at the same time,
but I don’t think that’s the reason
that they only have five fans
or that that’s why you like them.
It’s okay,
I won’t tell your friends that
you pay your rent with a trust fund. 
		-Isn’t that ironic?-
I’ll keep your secret
the way you keep quoting Kerouac,
who you only know of
because of high school English class.
And no,
I won’t tell them either
that you hate the taste of coffee,
and miss eating bacon,
and actually think that tattoo
of a Palahniuk quote
		-“Your heart is my piñata”-
translated into Finnish
is not as clever as it was
the first time you tried cocaine.
But don’t worry. 
I won’t call you a hipster.
That way you don’t have to
pretend to hate it.

Details | Rhyme | |

Sshh! Chef's Busy in the Kitchen Making His Seafood Bisque.

Chef 's Winter dishes are simply delicious, not too much oil or cream.

Rich or plain,  taste tested to perfection, tiny portions sometimes steamed

He starts  the day with freshly squeezed orange juice,coffee and toast.

And embarks on a fitness journey along the seaside in Adelaide.

Today he is going to create a seafood bisque inspired by his walk.

This morning whilst  walking along the beach he noticed the outgoing

Tide and outlet  left a long groove with  definite honeycombe indentations

snaking parallel to the shore for a distance near a giant swirly starfish.

From an aerial perspective it looked  like a Christo dragon , hardened ripples

representing the scales and the sometimes swirling patterns here and there

where the giant Sea-dragon moved, slithered or shifted about in the sand .

The Sea-Dragon must have laid there for some time before he disappeared 

as his scales were deeply impressed and clearly embossed in the firm sand. 

A clear body of water flowed  in the center of this outlet echoing the scales

shimmering and gleaming with sunlight smoothly on the groove's surface.
Upon seeing this ,Chef etched it  in his memory and began to mentally gather 

ingredients for his creation.How could he give his bisque the dragon flavour?

Grilling the whiting, prawns and scallops  with butter  laced with honey , chilli,
cardamon + crushed nuts , garlic, a dash of brandy....... 
then adding chicken stock , lime , thyme ,cracked pepper , rock sea salt and 
finally pureeing the lot with a splash of coconut milk.

Details | Didactic | |

That Word


That word
What does it mean?
Is it to glean?
Cause a ravine or seam
To tritely inflict 
The mean-
Of a theme

It seems 
That such a thing
Is small
Has little
To bring
Yes, much less

Nothing to suggest
To cause 
Keep abreast
In it's
What words 
Can’t bring
To mind’s crest
And thus
Vagueness of wit

…at best.

Details | Limerick | |

Action, Not Words in a Singles Bar

Trollin' at the bar her leg he did touch,

She was sexy and gorgeous and such!

  He declared "dam! You are fine!"

  She replied "your place or mine?"

He said "forget talk too much!"


I must apologise to women everywhere
But I knew a guy like that once!

Details | Limerick | |

Tone it down to ''at least for the duration''

Time does our earth presence sever
But the post office is clever  
And offers for sale
For its eternal mail  
A stamp that is good forever

Author's note: The idea that anything associated with this planet will be consumed "forever" is peculiar and laughable.  It is also destructive in that business holds the truth in shadows.

Details | Rhyme | |

SOUP Spoonin'

Online tonite
looks like 
a whole lotta' spoonin'
goin' on in the "Soup"

nosin' around the comment coral
I see love 
amongst the group

hot Soup!
not shaken
marriage scent in the air
no fakin'

where it leads...
we shall see
I know some 
are dippin' crackers in the "Soup"
but Lawd' knows 

Details | Free verse | |

I'm Learning

<                           [ S 1][ T 1][ U 1][ D 2][ E 1][ N 1][ T 1]

Entry For Nancy Jones
7 tile Scrabble Contest 
G.L. All

Details | Free verse | |


Reject letter sent by post. Applications online ignored. Too old Too young. Inexperienced. Do not drive. It must be the JSA blues. Countless jobs for the unemployed. Just search and see. It must be true the papers say. This Government would not lie. Reject letter sent by post. Applications online ignored. Too old Too young. Inexperienced. Do not drive. It must be the JSA blues. Take any job you can get. Work 80 hours a week. It's for your well being, the papers say. This Government would not lie. Reject letter sent by post. Applications online ignored. Too old Too young. Inexperienced. Do not drive. It must be the JSA blues. Take minimum wage if you must. That is all you are worth. You will thank us some day the papers say. This Government would not lie. Reject letter sent by post. Applications online ignored. Too old Too young. Inexperienced. Do not drive. It must be the JSA blues. I have the JSA blues This Government would not lie. The JSA blues. Government would not lie. JSA Blues. Would not lie. JSA blues. Not lie. JSA blues. LIE!

Details | Rhyme | |

Geek Mountain

It started quite some time ago
His name was Pitfall Harry
I learned of bits and algorithms
On a 2600 Atari

And then there came Nintendo
It began my end I think
For I had to rescue Princess Zelda
As a courageous lad named Link

I peered at that screen for hours
Each puzzle, each riddle, each stage
And Gannon was no match for me
My frenzied button rage

The torch then passed to Genesis
And with it Altered Beast
Addicted to those graphics
My life outside had ceased

Compulsion soon would fade
I slowly began to bore
Then Sony created the gamers dream
To brilliant to ignore

Dazzled bye amazing play
lost for a year or two
Acting as an exercise scarecrow
And girl repellant too

So now I have no gaming system
But it seems that my PC
Is the summit of Geek Mountain
And that's where you'll find me.
That last line written years ago
Such games are no longer fun
For Im filled with glee and happy to be
Reaquainted with the sun

Details | Alliteration | |

Alliteration in B

The blue ball bounced against the rubber baby buggy bumper.
Bobby Brown’s bright blue blazer matched Betty’s blue bloomers.
Baseball is business blessed beyond belief.
Brook’s brother boiled beetle bugs for breakfast.
The bow of the boat blocked the big barge.
Bill’s barrel belly button bares birthday bacteria.
Baboons beam beautiful ballads for bitter berry bush butter.
Bonnie’s buttons battle the bulge.

Details | Limerick | |

Rich Relative Nuptials

This wedding is hard-labor duty
(All the guests are acting so SNOOTY!)
A whole lotta' bunk!
Guess I'll get drunk
And pinch that thar bridesmaid's stiff booty...

For Joann's contest

Details | Rhyme | |

Cover Your Crack If You Want Me To Take You Seriously!

Today it seems it's trendy
to wear your pants real low.
You know you're hot if you can walk
and let your butt-crack show!

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned
or maybe I'm a prude...
but I can't help but thinking
that your butt-crack is just rude!

It started with the plumber,
by accident... I'm sure!
But now, my teacher turns around
Oh no! Don't tell me.........Her?

She even wears the pants real low
so when she turns away...
her butt-crack smiles back at you
and you don't know what to say!

Do you pretend it's not there?
Do you say "Hey, nice crack?"
Pray to the fashion Gods and hope
suspenders will come back!

Mary Nagy

Details | Rhyme | |


I've slurped chili from border-to-border and betwixt the roilin' seas,
In fancy five-star establishments and greasy spoon eateries.
I've sampled some that has caused anxious gastrointestinal uproar,
But I'm a glutton for the stuff and always go back for more!

I'll eat chili with or without beans, it really matters not,
Jes' so there's plenty in the pot and it's rather spicy hot!
I'll even deign to open a can of concentrate in an emergency,
But I much prefer a great chef's favourite and secret recipe!

Many are the chili cook-offs I've sauntered my way through,
Tastin' gawd-awful concoctions, my face turnin' a reddish hue!
Those guys toss things in the pot about which I wouldn't care to know.
Their recipes are closely-held secrets and there ain't no quid pro quo!

Now, usually I can tolerate chili from any hot and spicy batch,
But, boys, I'm here to tell you that today I finally met my match.
Satan himself must have brewed that beastly olio!
I gasped, shed copious tears and my ears assumed a ruddy glow!

I'm told its a social blunder to crumble crackers in your soups,
But what care I?  I ain't concerned about jumpin' through no social hoops!
Some of the glares I get from folks are embarrassin'ly chilly!
So what! Me worry? I relish crumbled crackers in my chili!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved)

Placed No. 1 in PD's "Soup-Soup-Soup" Contest - March 2012
Placed No. 1 in David Williams' "My Favorite Dish" Contest - Jan 2012

Details | Rhyme | |

Geez Louise sneeze Louise Geez sneeze

Louise would you please,
Sneeze in your elbows sleeves.
Geez Louise, don’t even wheeze.
Louise, seize it at the knees.
Louise do not sneeze a breeze.
Be at ease, no spreading disease.
Louise your body has the keys.
Maybe you’re allergic to bees.
Please Louise, stay still; freeze.
Louise, you are blowing cheese.
Louise, be careful with these.

Details | Quatrain | |

Four Eyes

I think it’s such an amusing insult.
Aye, it’s baffled me. Bullies call me Four
Eyes. I’m supposed to cry as a result?
Ay me. They’re vexed when I laugh from the floor.

Details | Alliteration | |

Not for the finicky or fainthearted

My mind is experiencing a fastidious flatulence; slightly fiendish, and not for the
finicky or fainthearted. 
I fidget amidst it's fanatical far-fetched farce yet stand fearless, watching it's face
flounder in a foolhardy feeble-minded foible. 
With fervor I say farewell forever to it's festering, feverish fetish, as it's frantic
fiasco foams, flails and finally fails.

Details | Rhyme | |

Not Sofa King Cool

College Dorm sleeps
Four per room
Keg party 
Too much Boom

Drunk freshman sleeps
Where he falls
Coeds toss him on 
The sofa 
Instead of snooze in
the halls

Sorority girl 
Named him  
“Sofa King Tool”
Now he feels like a Fool
Not Sofa King Cool

Details | Couplet | |

A Social Disaster

I walk into door frames, I trip up the stairs.
I rant on about stuff, when nobody cares.

I say all the wrong things, and freak people out.
It's just theres no filter, from my brain, to my mouth.

I'm socially awkward, and horribly shy.
I barely say hello, and never say goodbye.

I'm one of those people, who tends to just stare.
Then complain about you, forgetting you're there.

I'm sullen and mean, as barbed as wire fence.
I'm so insecure, it's a form of defense.

I'm bad at making friends, but when I do.
I make it for life, my friendship is true.

When I walk anywhere, i stare at the ground.
That's why I accidentally knock people down.

I laugh at bad jokes, and all the wrong times.
I take it too far, misinterpret the signs.

When i talk and I'm nervous, it makes me talk faster.
I might as well face it, I'm a social disaster!

Details | Lyric | |

Tube Ambition

Tube Ambition

I wanna be one under,
I bin' thinkin' it's the safest bet;
I haven't the skill to get any thrill,
From being on this planet.

Yea, I done tole me Ma,
She said "yor jes like yor Da";
"He went an don it and how
We slum it, go on, leave me now."

I wanna be one under,
Famous, y'know, for a while;
Can see me photo, in the Metro,
So I'll try to keep on a smile.

Yeah, don' say I'm not ambitious,
I may be on the dole;
But I can get in them history books,
By bein' in a hole.

I wanna be one under,
I tole my friends the same;
But now the blasted tube's on strike,
My plans are done today.

Yeah, I used to be a no-gooder,
But now I found what I like;
I'm cyclin' through the streets of London,
Thank crikey for Boris's bike !

I don' wanna be one under,
What, me, I'm under progression;
I've seen the worst, now time for best,
Forget the bloody recession.

Details | Quatrain | |

Making Conversation

I struggle with conversation,
what to say I'm never sure
and after introductions
I can't think of any more!

A comment on the weather,
'it's cold for the time of year'
or 'how's work going at the moment?'
is all I can manage I fear.

I'm not one for idle chatter,
don't seem to have the knack,
to engage in conversation
with small talk I do lack.

The thought of talking scares me
nerves turn my mind to mush!
I obviously need more practice
but it's been easier just to hush!

Details | Free verse | |

Reflections: Intellectualism

To Dine, To Die;
Conversations spiral
While thunderous eyes
Grasp concepts to recycle.

Constant debt crisis
A political paradox
Grating social devices
Over the sorting of socks.

An endless groan
Argumental paralysis
The debate grants no throne.

Over a roast
Potatoes won't listen
To who talks the most.

"That point is so interesting"
The floor is open for chat
"What is real?" not a thing
"Meow" adds the cat.

Details | Free verse | |

The Switch Up

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | McWhirtle | |

Romeo the Great Lover

I’m really amazed by 
Romeo the great lover 
who boasted his greatness
of loving my friend Tess.

Oh, Gee! How hard it is 
for him to display his trademark
of love, for her 
in the presence of his wife.

Details | Couplet | |

Life is an Aventurous Squirrel Run

I have my Hubby’s steadfast belief in me.
He loves how my poems are light and airy.
He’ll give me an idea once in a while…
Then he escapes to come back, later to read my new child.

He calls these run-throughs a squirrel run.
For they can take off in directions, yes, any one.
Crazy thoughts become crazier still…
And story time leads to god knows, where they will.

My thinking is kind of like chasing around a tree.
You never know where the end will be.
But somewhere I eventually become truly still.
And that is where my Hubby adds into the trill.

Then the squirrel run begins again…
Light and fluffy and full to the brim.
Each day a new adventure... waits around the bend.
Live it. Love it. Write it... You'll be happier in the end.

Contest: Emotion: Squirrelly and fun   CSEastman

Details | Rhyme | |

Conflict of Self-Interest

By: Amy

I need  to study, cannot go out...
I’m so behind, I simply must work...

I have a paper, and test real soon...
I can’t take a hangover on a Sunday...

I’ve so much concern, my GPA’s sunk...
I’ll be too tired, the night gets so late...

Really, grades worry me, school’s been tough...

Details | Limerick | |

Female newscaster

Female Newscaster
Written by: Catherine Reinke

Pretty faces
Boob jobs too
silicone lips
and higher shoes.
Porno stars,
cue cards.
Network news 
has gone to fair!

Lying teeth.
Blinding white.
What today 
is our plight?

Cleavage low.
Ratings soar.
Cannot let
 audience boar.

Murder and terror .
On she reads,
security level
red, orange, yellow.

Day by day
freedoms stolen.
Freedoms lost.
Freedom now
long forgot.

Centerfold women

On CNN, 
foxy news and MSN.

Walter contrite
he’s not more.
replaced femme fatal
through news doors.

Buxom beauties.
Youthful cuties.
News once read
by somber heads
now is told
by sexy dames in red.
Seems my husband
to his bed
take those newscasters 
he has said
to his bed?
Yes, he said
tight hot bodies
dressed in red.

Give me news 
and give it often.
Put Ted Kopple
in his coffin.

Easy chair
a couple of beers
 all my news
I want to hear
from pretty faces
boob jobs too 
silicone lips
 and higher shoes.

Details | Free verse | |

My Sister's Diet Coke

My sister sips diet coke
Gets her day going that’s no joke.
It even helps her dream of the Baroque;
Dazzling her eyes while frying her egg yoke.
And folks this is no smoke
It makes her strong as an oak,
While floating like a butterfly stroke
Whenever she drinks her chilled diet coke.

Details | Rhyme | |


Cough and splutter in a crowded room. A juke-box is playing another dreary tune. Lonely man feeds a bandit spending next week's rent Woman sits at bar smothered in make-up and scent. Young men at pool table in torn and holey jeans Are shouting in unison about favourite football teams. Soon elephants are pink leprechauns are green, Unreality is the truth that we have seen. Cold cold beer brings on the confusion It's the outside world that is now an illusion.
This is a sort of parody. Based on a Moody Blues section on one of their albums. Think it was just before or after one of the songs. Called Late Lament. Thought I'd better credit it any way just in case anyone points it out.

Details | Limerick | |

Quit Wasting My Time { Edit }

<                               One by one they'll shall roll on and come
                                 Like soldiers marching to beaten drums
                                 Echoes  are acknowledge
                                 Cast across thy arched bridge
                                 Haste makes waste even for everyone

Inspired By
Carolyn Devonshire's Contest
Follower Or Leader
GL All

Details | I do not know? | |


nice clothes
nice shoes
couple of girls
but i got a main boo

nice car
on 22's
lift kit on it
it's another 4in boost

hop out
see my homies
it ain't my forte
but all them smoking

big whip
car full
been drinkin since 1
n yet we still partying

fitted cap
yankee logo
girls say im fly
now they reaching for my "you know"

wake up
a hurricane went through the house
thanks mr Hugo

team liqour
super sick
i know i was texting
but dont remember this chick

she mad
im laughing
she says im an asshole anyways
i say i'm sorry but it was just another drunk day

Details | Free verse | |

Disturbance at dinnertime

she sails
into the restaurant
with her volume, voice and vibes
her huge waves
disturbing every conversation
her loud laughs
Interfering with existing atmosphere
her empty words
bouncing all over the room
her massive  presence
sharks the whole place
at last
she sails
out of  the harbor
that wasn’t hers
fresh wind blows
and everyone shows
it is  now our happy hour

©Ellie Daphne van Stralen 2012

Details | Rhyme | |

Old Men

They used to frighten me
To be around old men
With their backs all bent
Their faces harsh to see
Time's ugly scars etched in
Freckled skin worn so thin.

Their white and thinning hair
And their extra large ears
They look sort of queer
With their bald heads a glare
And canes they use to stand
Held in old bony hands.

So, I spoke to one one day
And then while listening
With eyes a glistening
I was in utter dismay!
To hear the things he'd done
Of his battles lost and won!

We became real good friends
That wise old man and I
And long did I cry
When he met his end
Now, I'm no longer scared
Of old men everywhere!

It's a proper thing anyhow
That I no longer fear
When old men draw near
Because I live with one now
But we never speak, you see
Since that old man.... is me!

                          Timothy I. Brumley

Details | Free verse | |

Glitter World

Glitter World
I see the world as my pearl
My place to take a whirl
And twirl around like a sexy girl
A place where there is little turmoil
My world is place
Where all flags can
Freely unfurl
Where a boy’s hair can curl
Everything’s glitter in my little world.

Details | Dramatic Verse | |

Is It A Dream World

A funny little clown, a bright red nose.
Lots of make-up, and bright blue bows.

Children laughing, some fat and some thin.
Either dressed in new clothes or rags that are faded and dim.

Pretty white ponies with beautiful glittery saddles.
And again, those funny clowns are hitting eachother with paddles.

One clown keeps fallimg and pretending to cry.
The other is daydreaming and lets out a big sigh.

There are beautiful ladies whose costumes are rare.
And a man who scares the children by dressing up as a bear.

Fantasizing is a convienient thing, it keeps the shock low.
So the surprise about the real world won't be such a big blow.

"Surprised about what"? is what you ask next.
Its something you can't learn in a text.

You'll learn about life by the things you go through.
You'll learn about whats fake and about what is true.

You'll see that the clowns are still funny and have a red nose.
But then you'll see realize only money buys the ladies rare clothes.

That's also when you realize your clothes are faded and dim.
And you recognize how many times you've been beaten by him.

Yes, those clowns with paddles are at it again.
Funny. They are married and they're children number ten.

Thier children are scared and crying in bed.
Because thier big mean daddy made thier sweet mommy dead.

Details | Lyric | |

A Running Chestnut- Acoustic Phonology

Toyous melody of childhood memories 	                                                          Board in tune becomes a high wire trapeze   						        Two cans and a string acoustic phonology 						               Each part paper comb sings the bucket drum 				                        With whizzing blade of grass in hands with breath hum  			              The paper roll trumpet blows ensemble strums         					    Running along the day grows as children play  				                   Rolling hillside a box becomes a sleigh  							     Tutor love pea shooter from across the way  				                      After a rain paper boat follows the drain    							           Bows arrows cornstalk fiddle finish reframe               					       Hoop and guider dolls cat and mouse homemade plain

Details | I do not know? | |


Children must be kept under strict control at all times. BY ORDER OF T' COMMITTEE. There’ll be no swearing in front of t' ladies. BY ORDER OF T' COMMITTEE. There’ll be no talking during t' bingo. BY ORDER OF T' COMMITTEE. All affiliated members must sign in by ten. BY ORDER OF T' COMMITTEE. All members WILL enjoy themselves BY ORDER OF T' COMMITTEE.

Details | Limerick | |

Quit Calling Me

<                                          good tarnations  .......  to this darn nation

                                            economic woes   .......  our money goes

                                                      all we are is .....   numbers

                                                      to good ole ....... Uncle Sam

                                             don't you just hate being called ....... sometimes

Entry For
John Freeman's Contest
Citizen Or Subject
G.L. All

Details | Ode | |

The Dime

There was once upon a time, 
Unexpectedly, a very small dime. 
He did not do much of anything,
Apart from gazing. 
He just stared longingly at the sky, 
Counting the clouds that drifted by. 

Dear old Dime, not very bright,
He did not shine, not a ray of light. 
Dark and rusty, 
Old and dirty.
Everyone did not care, 
Though they could use him and buy a bear. 

They did not want to touch, 
This old thing of such. 
They did not want to feel. 
That sick disgusting bill. 
He was old, rusty and dim,
But he hated the way man treated him.

Details | Free verse | |

Be Yourself

Are you black?
Are you white?
Are you so dark that no one can see you at night?
It doesn't matter what color you are because deep inside we'er all stars.
So whether  your from Mars or plant Ko Ko there's someone out there who loves you for you.
There's no need to be blue.
Not everyone can be cool, but don't worry about it just be you.
And if you do then you will find a whole new world the was trapped inside.
It's just waiting for you to find.
So come on jump inside an make new friends.
Coolness don't last forever but friendship never ends.

Details | Rhyme | |

Mother Earth

I was told God made this marvellous place,
for the sole benefit of the human race,
although through the years it really seems,
as if this is the figment of someone's dreams,
and maybe a lot of what I've been told,
just seems to shine,but isn't gold.
Yes, I used to ask only now and then,
but nowadays it happens,again and again,
and the questions asked all revolve,
around a problem I can't solve.
How come it took him only six days,
to make the universe, for us to amaze,
and in this time to populate too,
our world with people and the rest of the zoo?
As I know for a fact, that when my dear mother,
was making my new little baby brother,
it took her about nine months or so,
before she was able to let him go,
and he could join us in this lovely place,
a shiny new addition to the human race.
So how come God could possibly do,
something like that in a second or two?
I think I'd better buy a new book,
this really does rate a really good look!

Details | Free verse | |

Monolog Audition For The New Sitcom: "Desperation 101"

"I'll not hold onto scraps of paper
love notes folded origami
brain confetti from last year
I'll not hold on, (for long) my dear
I'll not hide secret dried up flowers
slips of some things 'till tomorrow
never sipping sweet fruition
for it seems, my intuition
proved me wrong again.

I'll not remember your cologne
or spray it on when you're not home
and while I'm at it I'll forget
just why I loved you then... 

and yet...

I kind of wonder what you're thinking,
if you need me, if you're sinking,
Maybe if I called this moment
it would save you from some torment?
Maybe if I saw you daily
sang our song on mix tapes, maybe...
you would then remember love notes
you would think on all you then wrote
How you loved me 'till tomorrow,
How we shared our joys and sorrow
So, perhaps, it's all worth saving
even when you're misbehaving
Maybe we should just get married!
Get a house, a bouncing baby
Mortgage life, dear - call me crazy...

as long as you just call me." did I get the part?

Details | Narrative | |

Memoir: Crashing Women's Studies- Feminists, BEWARE lol

Don't ask me how it happened; I have no clear recollection. I have always had this brazen habit of coming right out and directly asking for whatever I want; I always figured "no!" was the only worst possible outcome, aside from a good cussing, perhaps. Either or both I can handle.

My best friend, who had invited me to this event, wasn't even a speaker; she was just present for class credit and I had nothing better to do so I happily joined her. Her professor was the director, or MC, of the night's festivities and proceedings and Jill introduced us soon after we entered the banquet hall and before the speaking commenced.

I also have this horrid habit of mentioning that I am an artist to anyone of any importance or significance whatsoever, hoping to sound gallant and impressive. I can only surmise that Jill's teacher asked me what kind of artist I was, and I must have boldly stated, with an air of haughty confidence no doubt, that I was a de facto grand poet of the ages. I was only 19 at the time and thought I was Poe! My style was sloppy and unrefined, but I didn't know it yet.

Given that this was a "Women's Studies" organization and all guest speakers that night were, obviously, going to be female, I don't know how I convinced, finagled, schemed, bulled, or mechanized my way into making myself an impromptu speaker as well that evening. It was an "anything goes" type platform, from women reading poetry to short stories, to essays or presenting artwork. I was, I kid you not, the first male to EVER be a speaker at this "Women's Studies" gathering.

Having committed many of my poems to memory, I just quickly jotted down four or five particular favorites, and when it was my time to speak, impertinently stepped right up to the platform, adjusted the microphone, and recited my horrible poetry to a group of...I'm not sure if "feminists" is quite the word for which I am searching. Let's just say that if Gloria Steinem or Gertrude Stein had been in the audience, I might have been yanked off the podium. So there I was, babbling about, having basically crashed this Feminist rally. That I wasn't mauled or had my eyes scratched out can only be attributed to luck, progressive-thinking, guardian Angels or plain ol' polite courtesy. In retrospect, I blanch at the thought of my shameless, unabashed audacity.

I would love to know whether any more males ever took part in anymore of their events, but I guess I'll never know and can only hope that little bit of history I made that night remains intact. True story.

Details | Monorhyme | |

10 Things That Suck

At three in the morning the Internet calls out.
Come to the computer; visit friends round about.
All of a sudden, soon pulling hair out,
The lights go off, a total blackout…shutout!

Dressed for the country, a total knockout,
In a new white blouse, nothing worn-out,
Marshmallows and smores cooked at the cook out.
Chocolate on the blouse that will not wash out!

Friends coming over for a big night out,
Children run to windows; keep a lookout.
Their car slips and slides while they are in route.
Festivities become a complete washout.

Going for a visit, the Interstate route.
A car passes by; guess what is thrown out.
Part of a burger with a Whopper handout,
Right in the face of the driver's shouting snout.

Rushing one morning to the punch-clock readout.
Arriving on time, that day had some doubt.
Picking up speed cautiously on the look out!
BLAM! The tire explodes, too late, a blowout.

The day's shopping spree had a strange payout.
Smoke from the windows escaping there out.
Eggs were left boiling when the cook went out.
Shells hit the ceiling and the floor; freak out!	

Walking barefooted on a beautiful route.
(Garden shoes were old with the soles worn out.)
Soft-smelly brown embrace toes round about.
Run to the hose to wash the stinky stuff out.

Planting a garden with success in doubt.
Hoping for sun and for a big payout.
Watering tomatoes in times of drought.
One night of insects, the crop is wiped out!

The birthday present would really standout.
Glow-in-the-dark wrapping, would be far-out.
Fluorescence to shine when the lights go out,
But I left it home and arrived without.

A walk in the park to get a workout,
Flowers and children enjoyed throughout.
Birds chirp in trees, their favorite hideout.
A direct hit in the eye; bird fallout, wash out!  

©  October 8, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen

Details | Rhyme | |

Drippity drip drip

Take me there I don't care Touch my hair Eat this pear!!! I am bare Want to share? Do you care? I am bear I'll let you stare Don't go there By the chair Or on that stair? Your skin is fair You look like Cher Come to my lair But pay my fare Drippity drip drip

Details | Cowboy | |

A Cowboy and His Jeans

Not all them ol’ time cowpokes
Wore them tight blue jeans, of course—
Most wore hot ol’ striped dress pants
Of thick cotton that was coarse.

It was Levi that came ‘round
To cover up our backside—
So we didn’t bust britches
When we went to take a ride.

Now they still got stove pipe legs
And jeans that is loose fittin’—
Even them short baggy drawers
That brings a poke to spittin’!

And we got them in colors—
Some that is downright dern crass—
But they all done do their job,
Hidin’ rears of lad and lass.

And though it seems that cowboys
Are now seldom in the norm—
You can bet your jean bottom
They wear that cowboy uniform!

And if I do go senile
And I’m clearly in decline—
Don’t bury me in dress pants—
I want jeans on my ol’ behind!

Details | Free verse | |

Crackers ‘n' Cheese

I was a-munchin’ ‘n’ a-crunchin’ on some crackers ‘n’ cheese
When a-someone or a-somethin’ came ‘n’ tickled my knees –

With her tail up in the air in a question mark tease,
‘Twas my little grey kitten mewin’ wide-green eyed pleas –

Beggin’ of her human, “Oh kind human, please
Won’t you let me share in yer crackers ‘n’ cheese?”

I looked into her tiny face ‘n’ made the choice with ease –
Doncha know that to my heart this kitten holds the keys?

I felt her purrs flow past me, a gentle, liltin’ breeze,
 ‘N’ now my kitten’s doin’ the munchin’ on my crackers ‘n’ cheese!

Details | Light Poetry | |

Drinking from the Baby Bottle

Holidays come and holidays go, but the grocery store is a war zone.
You got to get there fast… or Honey you’re just plain out of luck!
My diabetic hubby drinks caffeine free diet soda and what luck…
You know the ones he takes to work... Only the little bottles are left…
I knew I was truly sunk when the 3rd store was just the same.
So as lunch came around, my manly man’s manly sized lunch came out.
But everyone became quiet and laughed as the baby sized bottle came out.
Everyone was laughing as my hubby drank it down.
Then he held it up and said “In your diapers” as everyone laughed around.
And to everyone’s surprise he pulled another one out from his lunch…
This time there was applause as he drank that sucker down.
Today was his day to entertain.
Tomorrow it’ll be someone else’s to claim.
Thank goodness his sense of humor… is worthy of acclaim…

Details | Rhyme | |

My Family and Me

It's amazing how quick things can change.
First your running with the kings, and then you're knocked out of range.
It's strange. I used to worry and stress over friends.
Now I've grown to be a man. Maybe know a few of them.
All that time I could of studied. Did better in school.
Got a job and made it big. Maybe now I'd be cool.
Who's the fool? Now who's the bull? I know that's not me on the top.
Life is always making turns weather you like it or not.
The past will always be the past. My glory days may seem gone.
But, now its time to start a new.The stories keep coming on.
I've got a new girl. She means the world to me.
She keeps me warm at night, my best friend, my new dream.
Since my car accident, still got a limp on one side.
Still working with my memory, still need a friend who can drive.
I love to Karaoke. I get noticed in bars.
My mom's always there to catch me. Tom's working with my mom's cars.
My sister's in the Army, my niece is a big part of my life,
Friend Zach keeps assholes off me, and God is my wife.
AJ's always there to help, Brian is my LOST bud,
Mary's out of school, Lil cousin, Hunter's a stud.
Grandpa still is my idol, JT is still the music man .
The Adam's still can party. Chris, living good on the sand.
I may only use one hand, but I plan to be the best.
At all I do in life, cause there's not that much time left.
The blood test that I took says Landon is mine.
I hope this all works out fine in time and help to make my son's life shine.
JC who's down in Georiga, my heart is screaming for you.
I hope that you recover well. It can't be worse then what I went through.
Uncle Jimmy where you at? Where's Matt, Corie, and Pete?
I know you all are doing good. Serviolo's are a hard team to beat.
How's the rest of the family? I love and miss you all!
I hope you all are standing tall and I pray we never fall.
These last words that I say, I say only to you.
We've got the best family in the world and you know I LOVE YOU!

Details | Verse | |

Pink Slime

Pink Slime, Pesticides
And chicken thighs bigger than my thighs

And we wonder why there is an increase
in learning disabilities among children today 
I say it’s because the process, that the food is processed and grown and raised, is
compromised by demand, money, greed or fame. 
I do understand that demand is high 
so we have to do somethin’

So to compete, we inject hormones into the very animal or plant that is sold for consumption
So now we eat these hormones and our bodies are stressed because of the added pesticides and  herbicides and other sh#! that’s hard to digest  

I mean what’s really the cause?
There’s more kids with disabilities today than there ever was  
I say it’s because like the story is told in the verses, that knowledge is increasing in man and the result is not what He purposed. 

Pink Slime and Pesticides..We’re eating stuff that’s been chemically grown inside…and chickens bigger than my thighs

Details | I do not know? | |

- to all- good night.

angels are sprawled 
in the longest reach my children could snow-afford on my former green lawn
over-played carols over-play the car ride to the store, where they will continue 
an embarrassment of lights dangle ‘side a staple-holed roof trim
somewhere not ‘nough off too far
there  are
yards watching snowmen come and go
behind the windows that hold kitchens
the bills are a pilin’
the car’s in the driveway needing to be plugged in
the mailman’s griping ‘bout the weight of his sack
dropping off cards he’d gladly drag back
the t.v.’s got little relief
there’s a log burning on a 24 hour channel
that someone someday will commercial 
the crap out of
office parties forum the drunk, “Here’s what I really think of you…” 
spark the  short lived, misappropriate romance
the mall cattle call. . . from parking lot to till
warrants wrappings to be hauled away
to some landfill
waiting for Valentine’s Day

Details | Senryu | |

The First Day of School

the first day of school
thank God, my son’s not crying
i sit beside him

Details | Free verse | |

She's Too Fly

She don’t deny she’s so fly;
So hard to see; Gone in the blink of an eye;
But a bird of prey has to try, he can’t be shy...

Feathers slicked back, I’m feeling sly,
Feeling smooth; Thinking that I own the sky;
I spot her tracks, lick my lips,
The prey’s in sight, 
I lock onto those enterprising hips and make my move;
I lay down a line that I’m sure has never been uttered before...

She laughs and says, ‘You’re not my sort of guy!’

And why? Perhaps she doesn’t like my syfy;
She might think that my Vulcan salute is moot;
But if she would only let me do the mind meld,
I would show this lady a world she has never known before...

Of course, if we did the mind meld 
she would find out about my collection of GI Joes,
and then you know she’d let go.

It’s funny – It doesn’t matter that I am one of the pros who can deal with life’s throes,
That I never call the ladies hoes,
And that I know the right time to throw down a rose and a rhyme...
Because she is into a bling-blang ding-dong;
Who has his head stuck in a bong;
Half the truths he knows are wrong,
he learned them from a Kanye West song;

Yet she goes back to his nest to get undressed,
And together this couple, these oxymorons, they consummate;
All the while I sit alone at home, forced to think of Uhura, and I masturbate. 

Details | Verse | |

Grattitude First lesson in Christian Living

Dear little pony, the children’s clown,
Rough mane stands tall, his thick tail tumbles down.
Jiggety, jog.  Yes, some riders have frowned.
Dad can ride him with two feet on the ground!
He’s a tough little, nuggety, wonderful chap
Who can live on the roughest of diet mishap.
We don’t feed him oats much, he’ll founder on those,
But if you can ride him you’re right home and hosed!
He’s full of the tricks that intelligence brings.
He’s always a challenge until mummy sings
Out loud, lets him know that he can’t get away
With presenting his backside to children today.
The children must learn how to command him too.
It isn’t the easiest thing they must do,
But they look for the pleasure of riding again,
So they learn how to handle tough diamond disdain.
They must learn how to stop him from racing away
Towards home when his head is turned facing that way.
His mind is on resting with food in his trough,
But his job is to teach, and he does it but tough!
Tough diamond’s a doorway to wonderful thrills
In the glorious world of the horseman’s spills
And great challenges.  Once you can master this rascal
Nothing can daunt you.  Introductory sample
Of every excitement that riding can offer,
He’s cute, pert, adorable, and he can proffer
Essential abilities.  Gratitude is
The gateway to mastery, sire of bliss!
Every offence becomes laughable when
You think back to this tough little customer. Then
Your mind turns to teaching, as Daddy once did.
No more can the mud of offence cause a skid.
You’ll go round it.  Or jump it. There’s no need to fall
 When Gratitude’s mastered.  Remembering all
Those scuffles you had that your dad helped you through,
You’ll mother, or father, or teach others too.

Details | Burlesque | |


I am only one person…I am only one mom
One parent today who can’t seem to hold on~
Their demands are so plenty
I tolerate it all
There is no one but me
Only MOM……when they call!
I am withering away….I am usually so patient 
But just for today Lord
Make them stop calling MOMMY 
               please …….. just for one second!

I clean up their room ….put their animals back
To my utter amazement 
                            ….one throws an attack
The animals are all strewn back on the floor
Now their room is a mess just like before!
Should someone relate to my annoyed frustration
In me please confide~
I feel like I am losing it ….and I just wanna cry!~

I want to pull out my hair……I have nothing to lose
They are only children….Far from perfect, it’s true
But just for a moment …I shall hide in my room!  
Now since I’ve been writing
                                          …my son fell asleep
My daughter cleaned up all the mud from outside
In my room as I write all the thoughts in my mind
Lord blessed me just now
                                 ….and some peace I shall find!

By Jane Bowen

Details | Burlesque | |

How to Tell You're In Redneck Country

When wealth is determined by the number of guns one owns.
When a wedding party is a family barbeque, and the wife needn't change last 
When only the very richest owns a bathroom.
Where soap has yet to be discovered.
Where squirrel brains is a main course.
Where your doctor wears a plaid shirt.
Where teeth are rarer than diamonds.
Where coon-skin caps are fashionable.
Where the one room school is underused.
Where the smartest people study comic books.
Where your dad is also your uncle.
Where a woman shaving her legs is a waste of razors.
Where the closest thing to a car is a mule named Sarah.
Where night-crawler worms are considered a snack food.
Where people still wonder who will win the Civil War.
Where television is the technology of the future.
Where everyone knows the earth is flat.
Where the moon is still thought to be made of cheese.
Where medicine is dispensed from a wagon.
Where that medicine is always Dr. Dermatosis's Magic Elixir.
Where the postman makes a yearly visit, and wonders why.
Where Tom's Tidbits is considered scholarly literature.
Where English muffins are considered foreign food.
Where English muffins are described as having "Crooks and Nannies".
Where no one knows what a "nanny" is, anyway.
Where Spike Jones is the romantic crooner.

Details | Sonnet | |

Gone Too Far

That’s not my elephant, officer, though she is pink.
She is right in front of your vehicle sir, I think.
Not too big, but not too small, her name is Ella.
I would say she likes to carry her pink umbrella.
I bet those second graders can see her just fine.
Yes, officer, I bet that they never drank any wine.
So to say, she is not there, will start some fights.
So remember that my faith is in the bill of rights.
She dances so fine around, around over the lot.
Upon tips of her toes, she cannot smoke pot.
However, she can eat spaghetti, with meatballs hot,
She loves to slurp, and swing the noodles in trot.
Don’t you see her now, over on top of that car?
Well, sir, you’re under arrest, you’ve gone too far.

Written for

Sponsor Matt Caliri 
Contest Name That's Not My Elephant 

Details | Rhyme | |

Awe Shucks

Clam shucker yup that's me.
Ice cold or hot from the pot
will you take 6, 12, or 3 ?
Oysters, shrimp and crabs
complete the lot.
Fresh seafood in summer
hits the spot.
Island music is what 
I choose to play.
It makes the customers
come my way.
Toes tapping some dancing
while they wait.
To be shucked
the clam and oyster's fate.
The village street comes alive
when I arrive.
The music sets the beat
as people fill the street.
It's work but in a wonderful way
clam shucking for my pay.

Details | Ballad | |













Details | Verse | |

Taking A Magic Carpet Ride

Come one come all hurry do not hide
 I want you to come along on a magic carpet ride
 Cap in hand, sit don't stand
 We'll whisk away to our favorite land
Andrea Dietrich sit for a spell
 I will tell you now my magic tale
 Of days of adventure on foreign sands
 Left in wonder to what is at hand
Open our imaginations and figure out how to steer
 And then how to fly this rug or buy some beer

Ruth Courtney- Magic Carpet Ride Contest

Details | Dramatic Verse | |


A lonesome dove

feathered white.

The branch strong,

time light. "wait".

A dream.

really blowing a sweet breeze. "wait".

A heart beat sitting in a tree,

spirit like, "wait".

A rhyme.

...of atomosphere.

Details | Free verse | |

Hail to the Dragon Slayers

We know we are right and we will fight
If you dare appose us we will bite
When good doers think they have a chance
We take their idea and we do the dance
We are the law that makes the choice
And no one can keep their face in a good poise
Because we will smack them with a hammer
As we see them we will make them stammer
Just because we are justice
And we try to do some odd practice
Now we will get back on track
We the people take charge and attack
Wait, what are we attacking? the people that are not right
Oh! thats just my brothers and sisters oh! they are a sight
Now look here, we, we the people makes laws
It doesn't matter how many people open their jaws
I'm all confused, we are the people, did we not choose?
We are, but certain people are just to loose

Fine, this is what the new law we want to appose
Why? because we are confused about what we chose
Using we as a word is to many
It takes all of us even granny
So this is what we want to do, is put I and you separate
And the other that we are to choose to elaborate
I am going to say this, we are to many individuals
So we separate the ones who are good doers
That does not make sense
To put all the yous and I's in a group, it's just dense
Are you with me? no I am with myself in this
I am going to rub it in your face and be in a bliss
So I will do the justice myself, and you has decide to disobey
This is what I mean to do, and it will be O.K.
Debating myself is some what kinda weird
You need to be by my side because we make choices better
So this time you and I will just make justice a letter

The clue is what we do that is some what true
It's funny when words play a game to argue the virtue
When I mean I, I mean I, and when I say you, it is you
When I say we, it is us, and that is what my argument is all about, too.
Fifty, fifty is what the Dragon Slayer is saying, it becomes no greater nor smaller
We are all at fault and our decisions that we have made is for all of us to stand taller
Even when it is wrong and we do things to put down the strong
And our arguments become pointless and long
Our justice is when we started to put it on paper and making it a law that stand
So all of us, in the long run will simply decide to band

Details | Narrative | |


Love is someting on a daily basis that should always be displayed
A kind word,helping hands are ways it can be conveyed.
Hello there!How are you doing ?Or may I help you please.....
Are all but a few phrases that could be said with ease?

Instead.....its no thank you!I donk care or who are you anyway?
You're just trying to extend a little love and then they blow you away.
That's a nice dress,I like your hair or may I please see your hat?
All you can hear with a cold stare is what you think he looking at.

Our dear Father who lives up above,said to love everyone like your self;
I guess people these days got tired of that and put love back on the shelf.
We need to take it back down ,dust it off and give it another try,
Its not that hard to spread around even if its denied.

I still beleive that love has hope amidst the doom and gloom;
It may get better....I don't know?......before GOD comes,or when man
lives on the moon

Details | Rhyme | |

Street Signs

Driving down a city street
We dont pay attention to,
Whats posted on the side
Just whats up ahead of you.

Favorite song come's on
Your concentrated on it instead,
completely shocked of the the curve
When sharp corner a sign said.

Your in a parking lot
Looking to park some place,
You finally find one later
Just your luck its a handicap space.

Beginning to now realize
You must look at the sign,
There are many out there
Paying attention will save time.

Street signs are for a reason
For this everyone should know,
Its for our good and safty
So, pay attention to them wherever you go.

Details | Rhyme | |

Click, click

Click click, that's the name of the game
Click click, you're going insane
Click click, is it nice outside?
Click click, should I even try?
Click click, it's the name of our generation
Click click, hypnotic masturbation
Click click, researching nonsense
Click click, losing my conscience
Click click, puppies and kittens
Click click, more statuses written
Click click, everyone has a voice
Click click, everyone has a choice
Click click, donate to causes
Click click, without hidden clauses
Click click, the world is becoming transparent
Click click, it's all so inherent
Click click, this is public domain
Click click, but please don't restrain
Click click, an abundance of trolls
Click click, did I just get rick rolled?

Details | Alliteration | |

Morning Mousie

‘Morning, mousie in the housie
Puss’s got the munchies
For yummy little crunchies –
You’d best be on your way

Rev ‘em up, your little pawses,
Cat’s relentless, never pauses
It’s just his nature and that’s because he’s
Been cravin’ mousie-pie all day

Little mouse, I’ve got a hunch
Puss-cat thinks your name is lunch
He’ll reduce you to a furry bunch
Of gristle, bones and clay

So, little rodent, if you’re smart
You’ll get yourself a good head-start
Pussie’s got his feline heart
Set on eating after play

Details | I do not know? | |

Professional Divorcé

Lost in emotions
Two souls approaching new path
Bitterness adorned

Forgetting love, possibly they shared.
Reasoning on the fights, they had bared.
Manly disfiguring blow.
So possible you know.
Now departing, both no longer  paired.

Marriages four, divorced three times now in this life of mine.

If another comes my way, next lover shall be a glass of wine..

Sponsor (Destroyer ((Poet 
Contest Name ~DIVORCE CLUB~ 

Details | Rhyme | |

Lite Bulbs

Now you can buy them in sizes
There's clear and colored ones to,
Short, skinny, long and spiral
Just to mention a few.

In lamps and yard lights
Used in every house to see,
Some only last a few months
While some come with a lifetime guarentee.

The world would become darken
Without a litebulb to shine bright,
People may not find their way
In the dark without a nightlight.

So, such a good invention
I'm sure all would agree,
Life would become a hazard
If lightbulbs wasn't a nessity.

Details | Rhyme | |

It's Friday

<                                         Is It Friday Yet ?
                                            Yea ~ You Bet

                                            Just Got Paid
                                            Now Want To Get Laid

                                            7 ~ 3
                                            Good Golly

                                            Boss On  Ass
                                            Like Sharpel Of Glass

                                            Phones Ringing Off Wall
                                            Everybody And Their Mother Calls

                                            Fix This Fix That
                                            Phone I just Want To Splat

                                            Tic Tock Tic Tock
                                            Goes Slow On Dam  Clock 

                                           Thursday  -  Monday
                                           All I want To Say

                                            Is It Friday Yet
                                            And No I Can't Afford A Dreamy Jet

                                            So As The Saying Goes
                                            I'll Just Keep Crossing My Fingers And Toes

Entry For
Joe Flach's
In Other Words Contest

My Inspiration 
Is It Friday Yet ?  LOL
G.L. All

Details | Rhyme | |


The new residents at the Manor Were in a pickle, with a dilemma Their neighbors’ were rather posh With exclamations like 'Golly gosh' Keeping up appearances in other homes Is rather hard when your name is Jones.

Details | Villanelle | |

Quakers on Pacifism

It is not “P. C.” to be anti-war,

Or to refuse to stuff one’s face with meat.

Quakers are not pacifists anymore


By definition.  It’s not like before.

These things are individual.  We can cheat.

It is not “P. C.” to be anti-war.


We cannot break an invisible law.

We rubbed it out, you see.  I should repeat:

Quakers are not pacifists anymore.


Some are.  Some aren’t.  There’s nothing we stand for.

We can have bacon, toast or Shredded Wheat.

It is not “P. C.” to be anti-war – 


To be vegetarian, vegan or

In any way, restrict what one may eat.

Quakers are not pacifists anymore.


This, Friends, is the conclusion we must draw – 

Won’t vote on this; we might just face defeat:

It is not “P. C.” to be anti-war.

Quakers are not pacifists anymore. 

Details | Rhyme | |

Remember Remember

Grab your jacket, scarf and gloves and wrap up nice and warm.
Hope the weather holds its peace and doesn't bring a storm.
Grab your cats and call your dogs and get them all inside.
If you care for the little tykes then this rule you must abide.

Fill your buckets up with water, get them at the ready.
Do not fill them to the brim so you can hold them steady.
Get the first aid kit supplies on stand by just in case.
I've heard the tales of injuries and burns around the face.

Start with something simple, "someone go get me a light".
A sparkler in all our hands, now watch them sparkle bright.
Get the kids all gathered round as older guys prepare.
See the kids all waiting and their eyes wide as they stare.

Hammer up the Catherine Wheel and nail it to the fence.
"Do not ruin the paint work, let us do it" said the gents.
Stick the tubes into the grass and deep into the ground.
Careful not to poke that pile left there by the hound.

Be prepared, all is ready and it's going to get loud.
Parents buying mass displays to make their children proud.
Roman candles, some sky lanterns, whistlers and rockets.
Rebel kids around the streets with bangers in their pockets.

Stand well back and light the fuse and watch the tension grow.
Let's fill the sky with sound and light and put on a great show.
They all erupt and whistle off higher than a kite.
Wheels spin, and bangers blow as the rockets take their flight.

Explosive pops and electric fizzles at an amazing height.
Every colour fills the sky, it's such beautiful sight.
All around the sounds of bangs suddenly all stop.
No wait, there's always one or two to give a random "pop".

Now the sky is clear apart from massive clouds of smoke.
It's worth it for the kids, but all that money, what a joke!
But a smiling kid is priceless, so try not to be tight.
'Remember the 5th of November'...

and have a Happy Guy Fawkes night!!!

Details | Grook | |

I'm A Chump

<                                        emphasis of labor day

                                        symbolic's end of summer

                                        picnics and parades display

                                     American workers get chummier

Details | Couplet | |

Friends, the Barmaid and I

I was not a drinker, I must confess.
Well, once in a while I would transgress.
A studying student perched on the stool 
Avoided eye contact and men's lusty drool.

One quiet afternoon visiting the barmaid,
No one was in the club to cause a tirade.
Three drunks came in for a mid-day drink.
They put up cash; their coins made a clink.

I started to leave, but she asked me to stay.
New comers to the bar, first time, that day.
Partially smashed, they started to glare.
I could hardly bear their shameless stare.

I sat at the counter drinking my water.
Before too long, those three became brasher.
Buy her a drink; No, thank you, I said.
If eyes could kill, I would have been dead.

A bit unruly, they became quite insistent.
I ordered my usual; they happily gave payment.
Three glasses of water I drank that day.
We played pool when they went on their way.

© October 30, 2011

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest:  Confessions to a Bartender 	
Sponsored by: Natalie :) The Rogue Rhymer

Details | Free verse | |

Summer Belly

Summer Belly

First hot day of early Summer brings it out.
The snow white folds of fast food residue,
Overflowing the ill advised shorts.
It has to go somewhere so out it comes
Wobbling in the season’s first rays.
An avalanche of abdominal extra.
Last year’s top won’t fit this year’s model
But it’s fun to watch all the same

Details | I do not know? | |

Illegitimi non Carborundum

Illegitimi non carborundum ;-)

...Staggering, my vision cloudy,

I fall to the hard ground.

when life’s sharp left-jab leaves my face bloody,

and all that surrounds me, is the desolation of loss I feel all around.

I see myself slipping,

down the abyss to where nothingness exists,

still, I cling on, groping for a foothold,

for my will to stay persists.

I clamber up, I stand my ground, though battered and bruised I may be,

my curtain is not falling yet, I have some fight still left in me.

It is then, in the pit of despair, when all seems bleak and painful and dull,

I summon the strength from deep within,

I rise, slowly, to face the day,

I refuse to sink,

to wallow, to surrender, to throw in the towel,

to drown,

for I am stronger now,

indeed I am, after all the years, and all the battles,

I stand, bruised and bloody,


I stand,

I refuse, to sink, to drown,

for they can try, to punish me some more,

but I shall not allow them to grind me down…


Details | Sonnet | |

Happy Birthday Dear Carol Brown (Kyrielle Sonnet)

It’s a great day to shake and bake
Dance, sing, and eat all of your cake
It’s time to wear your dinner gown
Happy Birthday Dear Carol Brown

Upon reaching the Big Six O
Spread and stretch on your patio
Wear your fancy dress into town
Happy Birthday Dear Carol Brown

As you puff out the nice candles
Hold tight onto your chair handles
Smile today and let your hair down
Happy Birthday Dear Carol Brown

It’s a great day to shake and bake
Happy Birthday Dear Carol Brown

© Joseph, 4/9/08
© All Rights Reserved

Comments:  Dedicated to my poet laureate friend Carol Brown.  The Kyrielle 
Sonnet has 14 lines (three rhyming quatrain stanzas and a non-rhyming 
couplet). It has a repeating line or phrase as a refrain in the last line of each 
stanza.  Each line within the sonnet has eight syllables. The French use the first 
and last line of the first quatrain as the ending couplet. This reinforces the refrain 
within the poem. The rhyming scheme for a Kyrielle Sonnet normally is: AabB, 
ccbB, ddbB, AB -or- AbaB, cbcB, dbdB, AB.

Details | Light Poetry | |


Dance craze
Jive,skip hip-hop
Twirl,forward,jump and stop,
Through the legs,over  the back,to

Details | I do not know? | |

Four Shining Stars (Dedicated to The Blue Collar Workers)

There are many places in this world
where people tend to go,
to get a really good laugh
from a Great Comedy Show.

But My Friends I say to You
The Place to go is this,
Where you will hear The Famous Line,
"You Might be A Redneck If......."

Next on Stage there comes A Man,
and He Say's "Here's Your Sign",
He makes us laugh time and again,
He simply is Divine.

Then next We ROAR with laughter
From This Line, "GIT - R - DONE",
This Man is simply wonderful,
His Smile's Bright as The Sun.

Up Next there is a Gentleman
that fills Our Hearts with Glee,
He Says, "That Judge just TICKED ME OFF!!!
I was in the bar you see."

These four men are wonderful,
they ALL shine just like the sun,
they fill our homes with happiness,
with laughter and with fun.

And so My Friends I say to you
the next time you feel blue,
Just Think of these Four Shining Stars,
They'll bring A Smile to You.

Details | Rhyme | |

Our politicians

Our Politicians
They speak like politicians
And hold a great ambition.
They think they are right
And same speech they recite.
They always gather for a bite
Deciding who should start the fight.
All have their own stations
To be the victims of cremation.
They gather their own crowd
Who cheer and clap to any sound.
They think they are right
Only here for a bite.
They speak like Aristo
And act like Montecristo!
They smoke big cigars
And all drive tinted cars.
They dress in glitter
And all have Twitter.
They act so polite
But hardly can write.
Always in action
Only during the election.
To make a collection
Or a connection.
O What a time you feel like 
Committing a crime.

For a brief background about this poem, pls, read the poem (Beirut).

Details | I do not know? | |

Graduation Day

Her eyes dancing with excitement
The joy cannot be contained
Today is graduation day
My sanity regained!

Her red gown pressed so neatly
Cap perfectly on her head
Tears are coming to my eyes
No matter what I said!

Call her name, Come on let’s go!
Across that stage so brave
One hand open, One hand up
Tell me she’s not going to wave!

The crowd goes wild for my little girl
She blows kisses to us all
Hands are waving in the air 
Please look out for the wall!

As she disappears from my sight
Her big debut’s been made
I can’t believe it’s finally over
Here we come 1st grade!

Details | Rhyme | |


You sit upon it
giving your body rest
it has four legs
to hold whoever comes its guest

It’s made of wood or plastic
for it must be strong
as it never knows
whoever may come along

You get so many types
to suit your own household
from sizes large and small
and even ones you fold

Do you know the subject?
or do you need a clue
its first letter is C
but your hair would make it true


Details | I do not know? | |


You think you might be in love.

You think he/her might be in love with you.

You think about a lot of things. Do you really know those things?

You think a lot, you worry a lot. 

But do you really HAVE to think or worry about those things?
  Or do you WAN'T to think or worry about those things?

Now that there is something to think about.


              *please leave a comment if you like it or fav poem if you might*

Details | Free verse | |

The Guardian of the Morning Light

The Guardian of the Morning Light,
Creeps out of his little space warm and soft.
No one will waste that precious morning light.
Our little fur ball will see to that.
Oh ye of little sleep… 
Give up the covers or ye will weep.
The door becomes his drums, 
To announce the morning rays of the sun.
He wakes the dogs up to whine and pace, 
Eventually they will lick our face.
The window curtains will begin to part till they…
Shower our faces and eyes with light… not soft.
Then the bed begins to shake…
As everyone begins the climb to our face.
But the secret weapons are about to come in.
The kitty has awoken the little children.
Cold feet assail us as they climb in place.
The dreams of a cuddle are now replaced…
But tomorrow will be another day
If I could only find a place to keep him at bay.
ZZZ’s are the treasure of days gone by…
But the future is richer with all these guys.

Now, if only, the Guardian of Light will be polite
And give us one more minute of sleepy respite…

Details | Haiku | |

Blue Russian

fill glass with some ice -
add vodka coffee liqueur -
now splash on the blue

Details | Blank verse | |


The Promenade. 

Another day Sunday at the seaside resort luckily there were 
no carousels, few kids and those who were there behaved 
textbook like, with their grandparents loyally eating ice cream 
and drinking soda pops; since they were given everything they 
wanted, there were few tantrums. 

The latest trend now (for women) is to wear long, lose fitting 
flowering dresses and my wife said she still had dresses like that 
going  back forty years; she will wear one of them tomorrow. 
Grand yachts at the marina I counted three “Aston Martins” 
wondered if Prince Charles was around. Yet on the promenade 
I saw mostly pensioners who had been saving for a year to have 
this one vacation. I was the only one who murmured darkly if 
the rich had paid their taxes; but what do you expect of a man 
who wants to bring back the guillotine. 

Time has mellowed me the weather was summery I wore blazer 
and looked posh (that´s what she said) and I did my best to keep 
my stomach in. This is an enchanting time we tried not to think 
of tomorrows as we sat on a bench eating ice-cream yogurt
…it has less sugar.    

Details | Ballad | |

Woods, great place to hide from bullies

Beneath the soil lay our roots
Multi-legged insects walking on moss
Working hard to get the fruits
Like lost souls running to the cross
Or hungry new army recruits
With no care of profit or loss

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain

We feast together in the swamp
The spiders just want to push us around
They see us and want to stomp
We hide under the ground
I’m here, no fear of the chomp
It’s our other way around

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain

One day I hope it will change
The flower tell us one day
Not to far gone to rearrange
Apex of the sun’s way
Move to the balkan mountain range
Rather than be part of the buffet

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain

Details | I do not know? | |

To harm that egg...

To harm that egg...just to crack it...
To see...past the shell...
What memories...what meals...
What was lost...what is born...
To think of how to fix...the trouble...
How many use...
And if any...can there be more...
The cost...the distance...
And if available...when...
Just to crack that egg...
Morning,Afternoon and into the night...
How many have slipped past your hands...
What dreams...can be made...
Can you really cook...
That is the first thing that would be said...
And to think of this the night before...
To know...
I'll get it in the morning...Or...
That no trouble at all...
Everything was perfect...
Except there no harm done to the eggs...
Just a memories...nothing...
You haven't been paid...

Details | I do not know? | |

Pumpkin Pie

My delight,
Taste by taste, bite by bite,
The final course which for room you save…

So many people at the table please pass !
Nose tickles, my mouth waters, finally at last!
Now for the perfect touch of whip cream…

Generously sky high
Pumpkin pie.

Details | Rhyme | |

KiddieKat Crawl

Pitter Patter kitty's natter,
meow on the wall
eight to go after the fall-
what a whisker risk-er!
And such a minxy tinker!
The paws at the door
straight to the cupboard crumb
sneaky biscuits for the tum,
and into the hall a cry "Mum!-
What's for dinner?"

Details | Rhyme | |

Ultimately We're All Green

They say it's easier to die if you've got nowt,
so little that's good to leave behind!
But for the wealthy it must be much harder,
with all that comfort and luxury in mind.
The poor are taught to expect zero,
and that is just what they get,
the rich all have great expectations,
and they all know that these will be met.
So all through Life's divided journey,
the contrast is massive, and stark.
There are those who thrive in the sunshine,
and those who wither in the dark.
But in the end we all become equal,
and money means nothing at all,
when you're returned to the Earth and recycled,
the main course at the ugly bug ball!

Details | Free verse | |

Merry Christmas to All

Though we all do celebrate birthdays,
the best birthday,
falls on the twenty fifth of December,
as on this day,
our Lord,
Jesus Christ had been born,
the day is considered indeed great,
as the Son of God,
had come into this world,
and had left us by forgiving our sins,
the day begins,
by people of all castes visiting various Churches,
and offering their prayers to the Lord in here,
on this day,
the day is celebrated with a lot of passion,
and fervour,
wherein we also get to wine and dance, 
and be merry all the while,
the kids are quite happy,
as on this day,
they receive lovely gifts,
for been good kids, 
from a very special man, 
known as Santa Claus
by acting as a postman, 
but differs in style and in his way,
by delivering the gifts in advance,
as he does know that,
there is no use in relying with the snail mail,
and the kids would indeed be sad,
if they don’t get their presents in time,
whereby he does not take the usual route,
but always takes the wrong one,
by entering through the chimneys
or through the fireholes, 
how he does it,
we have no idea,
inspite of been fat,
his favourite are the cookies indeed,
wherein he seeks an easier way to get into the houses of the kids,
here’s a message,
he leaves for you all,
wishing you all a Merry Christmas!!

Dt:-21st November, 2012, Name :- Manu Nair

Details | Ballad | |

Drinkin Buddies

Pour a shot for me, pour a shot for you.
Swallow down, so quick is the liqueur.
You recoil in pleasure, it tastes good.
Set it up again, time to put up another two.

You think about forgetting the pain,
But your just making it all worse.
Slowly, slowly the picture gets dizzier,
Good judgement goes down the drain.

You love the crown, and he does his job,
Making you feel heavy then ultra light.
Words mind as well be backwards,
And all your thoughts, so many, he did rob.

You look at each other, sloppily thinking,
And you remember what you did forget.
Unsure if the other is feeling the same way.
Look away, wondering, both keep drinking.

F- it! You slow melt into the way it was.
Sooo goooood, but oh soooo baaaaadddd!
The restraint clock is over, time to give in,
You're already too far, no stop, no pause.

Tricky is the soundtrack, intense is the play.
Between are you two, crazy is this game.
Long, amazing, wishing it could last forever,
But you doubt it, you wake sober the next day. 

Was so much fun, and it was much shattering.
Again, you are so weak, you shake your head.
Your foolishness, your eyes drawn asunder.
But so much more then one night of smattering. 

You part, intense attraction you have to ignore,
But so comfortable and also so careless.
You try not look over you shoulder at the other.
Never again... Hell, till they put up two more.

Details | Haiku | |

Tyrant Haiku

The clock's time is off.
Like a capricious tyrant,
my cell is bothered.

Details | Limerick | |


Yes tiny are we, as you can see.
Don’t make us livid, or you will be.
Hunted by, Uncle King Kong.
He is very big and strong.
His favorite nephews are we.

written for
Sponsor john freeman 
Contest Name Limericks Hilarious 

Details | ABC | |

My Manderin Orange Calvin Kleins

Everybody was after them back in the day
I tell them this is not the King, you can't have it your way 
I still have them and they are still sought after
When I wear them, I don't understand the laughter
A policeman stopped me and gave me a fine
He said I was violating the noise ordinance with my Manderin Orange Calvin 
My niece is due to inherit them for her generation to enjoy
They are unisex, made for a girl or a boy
I try to make sure that disco is still rockin'
Right now I am jammin' on the song Jive Talkin
I am wearing a shirt the color of red tomatoes off the vine
This shirt will go well with my Manderin Orange Calvin Kleins
I have to dig a chest to find my three inch platform heel shoes
The color has kept well, the brilliant Robin Egg Blue
The shoes are tight, but the read a size nine
What a great combination of clothes all built around my Manderin Orange Calvin 
As I go to a club to dance, I clear the floor
A bouncer shows me kindly to the door
I wonder what did I do wrong to deserve this
I lift my arms and smell my pits
A girl calls me Austin Powers and tells me I am way ahead of my time
I tell her it must be my shirt or shoes, I know it can't be my Manderine Orange 
Calvin Kleins
I guess I will move to a place where they show pity
Maybe a place where I can fit in, I know such a place, it is called Sioux City
Maybe then I can get the respect I most certainly deserve
I will wear my  Argyle socks and throw them Sioux Cityans a curve
I hear the Carmens and Brewers are cousins of mine
They will all be jealous of my Manderin Orange Calvin Kleins

Details | Blank verse | |

Virile thoughts

All men want freedom
To dream with their eyes wide open
During midday
So they can reach the sun
With just one nail
And take the whole universe
In their palms

Well, all men need respect
Even if
They find it funny
To show any emotion
Public or private

Oh, who said they wouldn't like
To love or to be loved
To admit they're defeated
By the eyes of their beloved women
Looking at them as to gods

Details | Rhyme | |



If normal is as normal does.
Then normal is as normal was.
If normal makes it all OK.
Then normal is the only way.

If normal does not fix the pain.
Then normal is what we restrain.
In looking at what we believe.
As we’re groping to achieve.

The normal, that just went askew.
As we learned and as we grew.
The normal that we’d try to be.
The normal that we'd always see.

In the words of those who cared.
And in the words of those impaired.
For normal is as normal does.
If normal ever really was. 

By Tom Clark, Copyright 2008

Details | Free verse | |

Tossed Around

That word
flying around
desperately seeking
an owner
funny...I smile
Came knocking
told it to come back
can hang around
"I'll call you when I'm ready...ok?"

Details | I do not know? | |

World we live in

Down the street there was a man killed today,
In this house a little boy ran away,
A funny world we live in?

In this alley a gang raped a young teen,
Down this walk way,people never heard the scream,
A funny world we live in?

Under this cardboard a Vietnam vet sleeps,
Down this road a crazed killer creeps,
A funny world we live in?

In this bed a child is born this day,
Do you want him to grow in a world this way?
Not a funny world we live in?

Details | I do not know? | |

Shining City On A Hill

Republicans keep talking about a Shining City on a Hill, 

Problem is to get in you need a Million Dollar bill, 

They kicked out all the Middle Class and Poor people from the area, and relocated them to a Landfill, 

While everybody,s starving, they up there cooking filet-mignon on the grill, 

wondering what all the fuss is about a little old BP oil spill, 

Excuse me for not enjoying the sight of their Metropolis glowing in the Night!,

 I,m locked out the gate, 

Struggling to survive daily, seems my fate, 

and to top it all off, They do not care of my plight 

and it,s my taxes

 that,s paying for all that Goddamned Light!!!!

Details | Free verse | |

lost, found, and liberated

i use to lie awake at night 
and ponder of this pointless life 
up for hours and not make a sound 
i once was lost but now i am found
my sea of confusion, like moses did part
the instant i let jesus inside of my heart...
but than i let out a gigantic huge fart 
and realized it was just indigestion 
than like a sensible person, i began to question 
and out of those questions, came rational thought 
and all of the things in school i was taught 
like critical thinking and following facts 
so i came to the conclusion: religions a quack 
now i live happily, in awe of earth's mysterious beauty 
and if you don't like it, you can kiss my patooty

Details | Burlesque | |

Viagra Beer

Leave it to the Scottish as the royal wedding nears
To unveil their latest, Viagra infused beers
A beer to stir the loins of the newly wedded prince
A beer to shock the royals and make the Queen Mum wince
A beer that’s sure to give the Brits a stiffer upper lip
A beer that makes this Scotland brewer appear a bit more hip
A beer that says “Arise Prince Willy” – “Celebrate Big Willy Style”
A beer best taken “tongue-in-cheek” guaranteed to raise a smile


Details | Rhyme | |


New Yorkers are famous for walking too fast,
and it has become a sort of an ethnic trademark;
some may laugh...thinking it's funny, but it's a fact!
An outsider asked a tall, blond policeman near Central Park,
" Why  is everybody running? Is the President coming?"
And the mean-looking cop replied him with an intimidating voice,
" Are you an outsider...doesn't a New Yorker walk faster than any other folk?" 
And the naive fellow exclaimed, " No, I never knew that they raced like horses
to catch a train!"  But the policeman got really angry and yelling
ordered the poor guy, " Run with them...before I'll throw you in jail!"
And ran he did and he didn't have to get on any subway train!
So New Yorkers don't be offended...if I told this horrible joke!

Details | Blank verse | |

dress revolution

The dress Revolution 
Sometimes the longing for the past is like a constant 
hunger by the underfed. Summers were endless and 
I was the first to wear shorts and sandals in town; 
had bought them in Aruba, coming off a ship going 
home I met my mother and sister, they were shocked
no one dressed frivolous back then. I wore a T. shirt
 too on it was written: “I Love New York.” 
Mother thought I ought to change into long trouser, 
wear a proper shirt, preferable white, and tie, sister 
was impressed though. I loved my youth to be different
from the norm. But time was changing fast, five years 
on everyone wore shorts and had long hair, Jogging in 
the park I was the only one, now you can´t walk for joggers.
I started this revolution, but where is my plaque?  

Details | Free verse | |

I am not a Romantic

I’m not known as a romantic
I detest dreamy haikus
And love senryus 
Sent to me with chocolates
And nervous smiles
It’s not easy, 
to please me 

Unsteady gazes and sweaty palms
Make me nauseous
Why I even said yes, in the first place
Is a mystery to me
Boy’s essences in Men’s bodies
Scare me
What he’s capable of doing 
Is greater than his understanding of my delicacy 

Bouquets of reddest roses
Disgusts me

“Why would somebody give somebody else a plant’s reproductive organs?”

Couldn’t he be, just a touch more, discreet?
Suggestive phrases and raunchy sentences
Make me dizzy with regret

Until the day Males of my age stop taking me on dates to  places
That have a value menu meal
Finally realize that I am more than just a pretty face
And have more than good looks to seal the deal

I. Refuse. To. Date. 

Please note_ 
I probably had the worst date of  my entire LIFE last friday. A disaster. This poem 
pretty much caps how i feel right about now. blehh.


Details | Acrostic | |


Silly humans!
Everything you think of involves the

Details | Free verse | |


A rose by any other name still gonna set you back $9.99

Details | Rhyme | |

Hansen! Yer It!!

I was tagged by that guy
the crazy culinary king
the one who makes drool
run down my chin ... ; )

So now it’s my turn [oh goodie!]
to pass on the tag
to an unsuspecting soul
and leave him holding the bag.

Now poets can be a silly bunch
not deep nor grave nor brilliant so much.
Give em a game and cut em loose
and you’ll find ‘stupid’ is often our muse.

And ... so ...
Eenie meenie minee doo doo
oh dear my dear could it be yoo hoo?
I tag Hansen, that guy in Brown
he’ll do ya fine, he’s such a clown!

Yer up, Mark!!

Love ya!  j

Details | Free verse | |


There's a potential fine line 
go to the beach to swim safely,
never stray too far from the lifeguards. 

There's a conflicting fine line
between LIE AND TRUTH...
" Is it okay to cheat as long 
as it stays a secret?" Where's fidelity? 

There's a huge fine line
between disregarding a NO LITTERING SIGN
AND A HEFTY FINE...beware of that cop
who's constantly on the lookout.  

There's a hazardous fine line
refrain from smoking in public places,
think of others before yourself.

There's a costly fine line
between DUNG AND DOG...
clean after your pet, or get fined
two hundred fifty dollars...isn't that a lot? 

Details | Rhyme | |

Lady Delilah Dow

Action, action! What a commotion!
“What is the latest trend?
Is there going to be an end?”
Lady Dow is trying to deliver
Leaders running to assist her

Oh, it’s a Global Countdown
Yeah, it’s a Global Meltdown

Come on Doctor Bush, make her to push
“We need some stimulus
Package in some dollars”
Come on Doctor Ben Bernanke
Is it only cutting rates?

Stage III, now it’s just got to be!
I can see the hair 
Oh it’s a wig so unfair!
“Its shoulder dystocia, or a flu from Asia!”
Naah, its simply financial inertia!

It’s getting serious, I am curious
It’s gotta be Cesarean
Who is gonna be the Surgeon?
Will Bush gift it to Barak
Will Hillary, McCain or Romney wake luck? 
Huckabee, who will it be?
Oh pain, oh pain! Who is gonna bring the gain?

Details | Rhyme royal | |


Turn off that smartphone, unplug yourself
Before your battery stops powering itself
Only offer the brain native analog signal
Forgot about any screen or the next level

Listen to creatures talk, remember inside
All you wanted to do was just to be alive
Reaching higher stars in the nick of time
Every dream seemed one rollercoaster ride

Feeling a little higher inside your shoes
Rhythm of the outdoors from nature groove
Reminded that today can sometimes improve
Life can be affected by an energy of mood

Make sure to tune in just once in a while
Things around us live under the same moon
Never be somebody you cannot remember who
Always just someone who never forgets you

Details | I do not know? | |

Today's Mirrored Vanity !

I casually look in the mirror,A single hair
stands up appearing so queer!How may i go
out in public?Will i be a freakish looking
subject?A pimple or zit appears out of
nowhere,To friends or kids,will i assuredly
scare?It's the size of a dime,When i hide,
is this a crime?Good looks have always
escaped my clutches,Are my looks,out in
public,my permanent crutches?Plastic
surgery is on the rise,It seems so
expensive,I cannot really afford,lasered
eyes?I cannot afford health insurance,Often
it does'nt financially assist,This
insurance,i really detest!stares by others
are so degrading,I don't want or need a
public rating!People gaze in front of
mirrors so vaine,Today,how can anyone dare
walk around,looking so plain?11-22-2005'.

Details | ABC | |

Trailer Trash Gift Shop (

The news was put out by flyers
I see they've already removed the tires
I wonder if any of these people really have any money
But they say you catch more flies with honey
Everybody agrees not to buy anything right away so the prices will drop
It is the first of its kind, the trailer trash gift shop
Grand opening will be on Saturday
There will be streamers and pinatas made from paper mache'
They will have free balloons for everyone who stops by
A makeup booth to paint on the fake bruises and black eyes
A medical representative will available to check for rickets and lice
Free D-con samples to assist the residents to help them get rid of their rats and 
The actual name of the place is The Hairy Pit Stop
Everything is at its lowest price when you purchase items from the trailer trash 
gift shop
The line is growing on opening day, so is the impatience and frustration
The setup crew just installed the last brick for the foundation
There is a lot of different smells as they walk on past
Some come right back out after they see the sign that reads we only accept cash
I think I will go inside and have a look for myself
There is recycled disposable dinnerware on one of the shelves
I predict that this item will be
One of the biggest sellers because it is buy one hundred, get a hundred free
Ooh something just caught my eye, it is The Best of Trailer Trash As Seen On 
This and so much more is available at the trailer trash gift shop

Details | Rhyme royal | |

Good Girls (vs) Skanks

So maybe you don't party.
You don't think drinking's cool.
There's more important things to do
while you are still in school.

Next time they call you ''Good Girl''
just give them a big ''Thanks! ''
Cause later on those ''Party Girls''
are also known as ''Skanks''.

Details | Couplet | |

Get A Rope

Gun slinger
    Matt Zinger

Dressed in black
     Didn't come back

High Noon
    Was Doomed

Quick Draw

Got A Rope
   Hung that dope

Undertaker Called
    Dead Body Hauled

Poured the whisky
     From Junction 60

Dead Man's Trail
  Where slingers failed

Details | Light Poetry | |


* This is a new word for the English dictionary. This word should
be added as a matter of course. I can't find it anywhere in the Dictionary!

Spacking   (spa-ki-ng)

That is when you
Brush your teeth
And lay down
To take a nap
Be-fore you go to Church
Which is derived from the root word
Spacking Fection (spa-ck-ing fic-tion)
Which mean's before you
Go to school......


* Note: In the word's of Darling Pinky!

Details | Light Poetry | |

No Dope Have To Cope

Dope head
      Just read

Medical marijunia
  Many states don't wanna

Flip this bill
     Said it wouldn't heal


   Seizers waaaaaa

They don't care
    And won't share

Any relief
   Good grief

Tired of  puking
   So  got mussing

 To  FDA
         Who just says

No dope
   Gotta cope

Details | Rhyme | |

face book

i saw your face at face book
the beauty that you borrowed has has indeed  given you a new look
sexy eyes and curved face like a restaurant cook
wow that is a girl any one can now hook
tell me what was the name you just took
that name i guess i've seen in a book!
any way i even did try to poke
into your wall,i must say i adore your look

Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |


Heads ache from here to Tazmania.
It’s the economic condition –
Politicians lack contrition.
Tax-mania affects the crania.

Ó November 17, 2011
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Details | Limerick | |

Freedoms Not Allowed

Not allowed to chew gum anymore,
What will be next, not able to open door?
This may seem frivolous.
Will be advantageous,
To profiteer, he will know the score. 

Details | I do not know? | |



Never ever say sorry.
No matter how put,
a meagre sorry tastes

like yesterday’s curled sandwich,
obstinately irrelevant
to any serious discourse.

Instead, play for effect;
make your mark
with the equivalent

of a six course lunch,
a gourmet spread
of words, allusions

and classical reference;
then profusely apologise
with discipline and skill.

When sitting down
on completing this task,
you may append, quite silently,

the word asshole, if American,
or the much more redolent British word
arsehole, even if American !

(Challenge words : sorry taste obstinate relevant serious play lunch gourmet apologise)

Details | Light Poetry | |

Stick It To Him { Footle } Light Poetry



                                                         Out there

                                                                       Used stake 
                                                                                He's baked

Tribute To Halloween   

Also Entry For 
Donna Golden's   Footle Fright

Details | Couplet | |

Musical Fruit

It is the seasonal time for gas.
It’s usually gentle on pass.
Favorite when weather gets cold.
Age old recipes prepared so bold.
Tis natural things, we all do.
Some may try, though there is a clue.
Cannot mistake the odor it shares.
Indeed it is made with natures cares.
Warms the body, soul so very well,
Though it has a historic story to tell,
Tis the season for many more things,
Truly it has a musical tone that rings.

Details | Sonnet | |

Minnesota Nice

The great upper mid west
Minnesota put to the test
Ten thousand lakes and streams
Reality for many who like to dream

From Itasca state park
To the Louisiaina's wooden bark
The mighty Mississippi flows
Gently down the outcrop she goes

Crime rates are always's on the rise
But really does it come as such a surprise
Everyone seems to like to hug
Except when its a mosquito bug

So many call us Minnesota Nice
But some still say were Cold as Ice

Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Dude in homeroom

Dude, guess what?
Yesterday, I got to go through my dad’s dealership
and pick out a sweet ride for my 16th birthday!
It’s a convertible, dude
It’s a hot rod, dude
It’s red, dude
It’s a hot, hot rod
And it’s got chrome-covered wheels!
Wait until the guys get a load of this!
Dude, this weekend, wanna go get drunk?
Ah! Dude! I totally saw my wellness teacher
at the Rush yesterday! She was
benching more than half the football team!
I could totally take her though!
I’m not going to let a woman tell me what to do!
Dude, I better retake the ACT this Saturday
I totally need a 16 to play on the football team
at Northwestern Kentucky State Community College!
Remind me not to drink too much after the game!
And we’re totally gonna smoke Blount County! Huh! Huh! Huh!
Dude, this guy totally looked at me funny
in the bathroom between classes! Man, we gave him the
hugest swirly! You shoulda been there!
Dude, I got practice after school today
but afterwards, you wanna go roll that queer in Bio class?
Whaddya say?

Details | Free verse | |

Old Granny Goodness

Old Granny had a big brown kitten, which was the love of her life.
Old Granny’s eyes were failing, of that there was no doubt.
She swore her cat was a gentle Persian, a sweet little cat.
Now everyone loved Old Granny and so tolerated how it did act.
We didn’t have the heart to tell her how wild it was,  you know.

Like the time it jumped thru her screen window going after a bird.
Or how it tore up another screen to get to a squirrel up in a tree.
Or how it climbed the preacher’s leg to get his bowl of ice cream.
The chicken coup was violated by another fateful event.
But granny wouldn’t listen, because she loved that crazy thing.

She said it was a kitten, but it had very Huge, great big paws
And as it grew that sleek, short haired, big thing, truthfully began to roar.
It eventually laid in wait for anything that would cross it’s path…
Oh my goodness Granny… Goodness! Goodness! Goodness!
That’s a mountain lion and NOT a cat!

From that day forward we called her Old Granny Goodness…
For the trouble she could find, Oh My Goodness
Everybody loved her, she was the talk and entertainment of our town.
But a more loving and dear soul, will never be found.

Details | I do not know? | |

The Silent Clown

I went to the mall today
I saw the clown around the corner
Kids were going towards her
They all came back in colors

Kids are in red and blue
Kids are in green and yellow
Kids are in orange and purple
Kids are in all different colors

I walked into that corner
I want to be in color too
I stood there for a while
Kids were in queue with their moms

I waited and waited
Time moved forward and forward
When one kid left another one is already on line
I didn't dare to join the line

So I stayed out of line
I watched the big smiles on the small faces
Why I didn't ask her to paint me ?
Why I didn't waited more time ?

I left there without colors
I think it is because I am not a kid anymore
Before leaving I took a card from the clown
Who knows I won't be a clown one day ?

Details | Quatrain | |

An Odd Addiction

I am addicted to poetry,
An alarming fact--but true.
What is one who suffers so
Even supposed to do?

Are not addictions something bad
From which to be withdrawn?
Yet I am unable to be pulled away
From writing poems for long.

My very speech has grown to match
My writing habits so strange,
That I fear my family dear
Might think of me deranged!

Of course, my condition isn't new,
So there might be a cure
I've heard TV can help my case,
But now I'm not so sure.

Details | Free verse | |


Sally Garrel is beautiful.
At least, that’s what she should be.
From her family’s looks she remains,
Perhaps most likely-
Fair white skin
Flowing blond hair
Flashing green eyes
Pouty lips moistly tinged rose
However, one can not truly tell,
For she is covered in
One Big Beauty Mark
Blotchy Brown
Fuzzed Hairs
Raised and Greasy
Sally Garrel is beautiful.
At least, that’s what she should be.

Details | ABC | |

The Emo ABC

A is for angry atheist angst
B- you're bleeding bruised broken taking your allowance to the bank

C is for cutting, crimson and crying
D is for daemons, death, darkness, and dying

E is for everything gone wrong in your life
F is the freedom you find in the knife

G is for gothic, straight from the womb
H is for the latest hawthorne heights tune

I is for immortal- you've commited suicide ten times already
J is for the jaded and emotionally unsteady

K is the knife you "accidentally" misplaced
L is for losers, lost life and lace

M is for makeup that cakes up your face
N is the nightlight to keep away the dark you "embrace"

O is because you're obviously obscure
P is for poetry or prose- you're not sure

Q is for quiet, you sit all alone
R is for razors when no one picks up the phone 

S is for screamo you can't get enough 
T is for tears damn, being fourteen is tough!

U is for ubiquitous mental disease
V is for vacant vacuous vampire wanna-be's

W is for whiny,well-fed suburbanite teens
X is for Xanax- you know what it means

Y is for youth spent all about you and your anhedonia
No diamond in the rough, you're just another cubic zirconia

Details | Ballad | |


IF I was a monkey,lived in the zoo.
I swing from the vine,that what I would do.
But IM not a monkey,dont live in the zoo.
So I will drink my JACK DANIALS,give a toast to you.

If the ocean was whiskey,and I was a duck.
I swim to the bottom and never come up.
But the ocean not whiskey,and IM not a duck.
So I will play TEXES HOLDEM,and drink to my luck.

If a car dont roll over me,I will live till I die
If I die meet ST. PETER,at the gate.
If IM drinking my JACK DANIALS,he will have to wait.

JACK DANIALS,JACK DANIALS,cream of the crop.
IM going to drink my JACK DANIALS ,until the day that I drop
When I drop,fall flat on the floor.
IM going to pick my self up,and drink me some more.

Details | Free verse | |

Mayhem in the Mourning

Sleepy, I walked down the senior hallway
The last door on the left seemed miles away
But I was determined to make it
It was 7:26 in the morning, assignment due 7:30
My hands were sweating bullets
Felt as if every senior had their eyes on me
Assignment in hand, I started my journey
Nerd, jocks, cheerleaders all bunched together in one walk-way
You would think I was a running back, of some sort
Dodging the potential mayhem
Judy with the big booty was being so loud
Laughing and screaming with her friends
Drew and the crew obnoxious as usual,
Were going over plays, at least it looked like it
Trampling any victim in their path
The Nerd Bird flocking in e=mc2
Calculate who will have a date in time for prom
Starting with Judy, my hands were no match
The sound waves catapulted me into the lockers
Side to side I juked, spun, and jumped
Like a magnet bouncing off the rhinoceros crew
For the Nerds, I only had to say one thing…
“I already have a date for prom…”
That sent them into a mathematical frenzy
Looking at their watches they said, “Prom is exactly
218 days 13 hours 27 minutes and 10 seconds away…
There is no way you have your date!”
While they babbled on I was on the move
The last mayhem was upon me: The hall monitor
He already saw my awesome display of athleticism
But didn’t find it amusing, He was one of those guys…
If you dropped a piece of paper on the floor, detention
I just distracted him by saying, “I didn’t have breakfast…”
We both didn’t know where that came from 
So I just kept waking while he was still confused
Stumbled into class, discrediting my previous display 
And turned in my homework assignment

Details | Free verse | |

I Got Dough {Solfege}

Do -  do   -        a female la beer
Re -  re    -        a drop of re beer
Mi  -  mi             without my mi beer  
Fa-    fa -           place to drive to get ti beer
So  -  so   -        you ran out of mi beer
La   -  la   -         la de da la de da I'll wait for la beer
Ti  -    ti    -        spilt spilt ti beer so no more more of la beer

Do - Do              Do la la think I'm sexy after about six six so beers  LOL 

Got Beer !
Over The Lips Thru The Gums
Look-out Stomach Here It Comes LOL

Also Entry For Izzy Gumbo's Solfege Contest

Details | Blank verse | |

Get Told

I've had to grow up
and down and back again,
but its nice hearing
the new that everyone knows.
You can never be too old,
especially when you still get told.

Details | Free verse | |

Sebastopol - Apple Blossom Weekend

The First Methodist Church,
with its bold wooden steeple,
burnt to the ground in 1914,
for preaching prohibition.
The good folks of Sebastopol
weren’t having any of that.
Today the Apple Blossom
Parade marches past
the rebuilt church, past
the Masonic Temple, past
Martha’s Mexican restaurant,
with its soup bowl Margaritas, 
past Old Main Street Tavern,
overflowing with biker patrons,
and Jasper O’ Farrell’s,
past The Powerhouse Brewery,
The Greenhouse, and G.T.O’s,
with its bottomless Bloody Marys.
As the entire town, marching bands 
and all, spill into Ivy’s Park 
for a two day party, pixilated music,
and four dollar beers to support
Analy Union High School.
No wonder Luther Burbank
and Charles Schulz
called Sebastopol their home.
And The First Methodist Church,
now made of stone, 
the only quiet place in town.

Details | Sijo | |

President Bush in Three Lines

Confusion reigns in him, even before the press conference.
Yet when there's a chance to make a bad choice,  none's more decisive.
Acting only when he must, he throws the chips, lets them fall.

Details | Free verse | |

A Drinker's Clowning

He thinks to prevail the existence as haze over
And makes his own beau geste 
A spirit of ingenuity revived peerlessly 
And makes the reality to indite a blue story
That appears to be enjoyable. 

This exemption from reality 
Just like he masters his own way
Others may stare at his absurdities
But he propels his own destiny. 

Endured by his shadow
He gives a mere pause to think
Past, carved in stone and future, an aleatory
And acquaints with the presence 
That appears a moment of exuberance. 

This liberty from misery
Just like he won every asperity
Others may oppugn at his oddity
But he aspires his own momentary. 

He makes a contrast between life and death
Yet he keep smiling on his grief
Beloved left him, and he is into his reveries
And forgather by more beautiful chicks
That gives a pleasure of masculinity. 

This relief from theological virtue of love
Just like he exposed his vanity
His beloved may cackle at his juvenility
But he is in love with blithe insanity. 

The defies the world of immorality
With his mindless nemeses
Masses at disputes, he lingered by his silence
And minded like a dummy
That baffled others busy time.

This escape from affrays
Just like a dog kicked away
People may cerebrate at his applesauce
He still got word, who cares!

Details | I do not know? | |

Crazy Ghost

Unless you've only got one,
Both your eyes see these words,
Are you really understanding them,
Or are they just a bunch of letters that make you bored?
If you're still looking then I've got your attention,
That's all I ask despite my imperfections,
But you don't even know about these,
I've never shown you myself,
I'm meeting you, these letters are a huge help
How old am I? 
What's the reason I'm asking this? Why?
There isn't one, does there need to be?
This is all just for fun, for you and me. 
If I still have your attention then your a trooped.
I've rambled on for 15 lines and your still reading,
This is how craziness is defined
Just call me, um, the crazy ghost,
The invisible person you talk to when your doors are closed.
Nice to meet you, 
I hope you sleep well as I do!

Details | Rhyme | |


If you say
That I'm smart, 
I'd say,
"I try."
If you say
You cheated,
I'd say, 
If you say 
I'm beautiful, 
I'd say,
"That makes one."
If you say
That you're hungry, 
I'd say, 
"Think outside the bun."
If you say 
That I'm weak, 
I'd admit to being 
Utterly defenseless, 
But if you said
That you loved me...
I would be 

Details | Clerihew | |

The Life Of A Fictitious Person { Daddy Warbucks}

Daddy Warbucks
All I can Say Is Oh Shucks !
Pennies Nickles Dimes and Quarters
Digging alittle deeper for I know he likes to still hoarder

Entry For Matt Caliri's Contest

Details | Cowboy | |

Cowboys Don't Wear Crocs

Although there be some debatin’
‘Bout if ol’ cowboys wear socks—
I can tell you fer a dern fact,
That true cowboys don’t wear Crocs.

They just don’t fit a stirrup right,
And bright colors scare the stock—
I’ll sure nuff shoot the first cowboy
I see wearin’ a new Croc!

Oh, we talk of Old West legends
Like our Jesses’ and Hickoks—
But I hope I never do see
Cowboys herdin’ in their Crocs!

And when that great cattle Master
Lays me low beneath the rocks—
Just make sure I’m wearin’ my boots
And not a pair of them Crocs!

Details | Rhyme | |

TEXTING pt pt pt

All around is the soft pt pt pt of text messaging
Abriviated conversations in silent offerings
On and on in secret codes the droning fills my ears
They do not realise what it is they should all fear

Evolution lurks behind each gene and chromosome
Adaptation in nature has always filled the holes
I see the coming shades of man birthed in technologies womb
Soon even the mighty pen will see its own doom

For man's fingers won't need to grasp something so cylindrical
In fact all he'll need are thumbs to pad and wax lyrical
No need for blue tooth stuck behind your ear
Once you are birthed, a microchip goes up your rear

In fact man's ears will all but fade away
Noise vibrations will be absorbed through the thumbs one day
All of man will dwindle down into just two thumbs
To pt pt pt on a pad to converse with everyone

Our eyes will become squinty slits to better see the screens
With zoom in lenses that pop out to better see the scenes
No movie theatres, cable, sattelite or Net Flix
It all streams to the pads grown into our wrists
With a turn of the cuff and a gentle flick
Our two thumbs pt pt pt to call up a menu list

See a show, text a friend, order pizza in
Which might be a problem, cause of the state our mouths are in
Years of non use, or over use by some
Has caused it to shrivel up as a prune from a plum

Just large enough to stick out our tongues
at the very thought that once we thought we had won
But give nature a chance to over take new science
and the pt pt pt we hear all day will be mankinds silence

For the contest,  Talkin' Technology
Sponsored by Natalie Fllikkema
Placement: 5th

Details | Limerick | |

Liar's Tips

                             It takes lots of rigorous practice really

                                   to be able to tell a lie sincerely;

                                                   a lie a day,

                                                  the only way;

                            no, I'm not lying , honest, believe you me!

Details | I do not know? | |

A Very Beeyootiful Day

Oh, to be a yoot, with fanciful weather outside, to boot,

 Let out your peacock feathers, your the best from the Bronx Zoo,

 Elevate your voice, let them hear you speak your smack,

 Good times by blasting Weezy, Pants drooping below your wise crack, 

practicing your handle, strutting on the courts, 

trying to let the women glimpse your acumen in sports, 

so be Kanye West, Steven Tyler, or whoevers your Dream Weaver, 

what the heck, strut down the block like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever,

 Move like Jagger with a swagger, to your hearts content sashay, 

For Ladies and Gentleman , 

I present to you, a very beeeyoootiful day!!!

Details | Tanka | |


Get out of my head
Stop reading this, please listen
What are you doing?
Are you really that intrigued?
Spoiler Alert: Read a book.

Details | Rhyme | |

Thirty Three

Is it so hard to say the word three
Then why does the caller always say free
If it was free I would not have to pay
So why must I listen to hear her say

All the frees firty free it drives me insane
If it ends with a free you will hear me complain
Just say the word three practice hard if you must
Till from free to three you finally adjust

We pay out good money to hear someone call
Either properly or then not at all
Is it to much to expect it to be
That all the numbers called out should be done so clearly

It is not like the managements choices are few
Just give the public what there entitled to
Or send the callers back to school
For the word three is easy, even for a fool

The next time I visit my bingo hall
If  I win a line or two then I shall call
At the top of my voice and as loud as can be
House but the last call was actually thirty three

Details | Blank verse | |

church bells

Church Bells 
Once I lived in a charming English village, near 
an ancient church, every Sunday morning 
on my only day off, the bloody bells chimed.
Thought I saw a woman cycling to mass in 
the mist, and it wasn´t Germaine Greer.  
When Muslims ruled Andalusia, they tolerated
 Christians, but a poet of that time -Ibn Baqi- 
 circa 1059 1112, wished they wouldn´t clang
bells so hard waking him up when air was cool, 
sleep sweet and his Christian mistress had to 
get up and go to mass. So far nothing has 
changed, dear Ibn Baqi, the bells keep on tolling

Details | Light Poetry | |

Operation Freedom-no oscar nomination


Sex is best

Coach potatoes rest

TV demands 

Our attention best.

Next I guess

The threat of 


Reality TV 

Even the whore

A boar.

The roar 

of the war 

Our whore war boar? 


I’m numb

Somewhat dumb

Bi-sexual encounters

On tropical islands

Of whom will marry 

Mr. Billion Trillion carpenter

have let me, well…



This shock and awe

Reality TV

A critical disappointment for me.

Sorry no Oscar nomination shall there be.

Not from me

You shall see. 

Hurry now 

Try some more

Trying in vain

To entertain me. 

Details | Rhyme | |

Legends Are Made Of Work

Pigskin laying on our 40
And snow is hitting hard
The only warmth you feel
Roar from a heated crowd
This is not what we want
3rd & long, 1 point down

20 seconds left to score
The game we won't forget
C'mon go, green and gold
Give us all another Leap
We can't bear to witness
Fans in cheese hats weep

Lambeau is alive tonight
With tailgating out back
72,000 plus all fired up
Cold ones in their hands
The other team will lose
And they'll need a snack

If Lombardi could see it
Knowing just what to say
Confidence is contagious
Impossible only seems so
67 to 68 & 96 we reigned
We win another one today

(Contest entry: "In Other Words")

Details | Rhyme | |

I Took Some Time With God

I Took Some Time To Spend With God…

I took some time to spend with God alone.
I asked for his blessing in my life and home!

I took some time to tell him that I love him!
I know that he listened and I can trust him!

It seems like yesterday I was a young boy.
There were many things I wanted to enjoy!

I enjoyed prayer with my lord and friend!
I felt his joy and peace within!

I didn’t realize how busy life would be…
I thought less of God,..  And more of me!

I’m thankful that I know a God who cares!
He’s never too busy for a moment to share!

He has blessed and renewed my mind!
He’s always so patient, loving and kind!

Thank you Jesus for the time we have together!
I’m looking forward to being with you forever!

You are the one that I will daily seek!
I need your direction each day of the week!

All praise and honor to you. is what I give!
I won’t forget you each day I shall live!

You’ve blessed and strengthened my life today!
You’re the truth, the life, and the way!

I shall sing of your praises with pure delight!
I know now that things in my life will be alright!

By Jim Pemberton

Details | Light Poetry | |

No Your Not Civil At All


      Now let's see


                   Mixed messages sent

                                One for all

                                        Who made call ?

                                                   Unfair trades

                                                          Loved ones laid

                                                                      I'm still broke

                                                                                But won't choke


                                                                                                             Not for me


Details | Light Poetry | |


This is the man that I am

No need for a detective because I have few mysteries

Whatever you don’t find its trapped somewhere inside my mind

I put my life into words for the whole world to read

I hope you enjoy what you see

A South Korean English teacher by night

An avid writer by day

A helpless romantic somewhere in between

The smile and joy from my students is priceless

Seeing someone enjoy my writings is pretty rewarding as well

I feel that everything in my life is finally going well

From my writings you may find that hard to tell

Sorry I don’t write more fantasies or fables

To convey happy emotions and attract more followers

You are getting my life through my eyes

I don’t have a sweet tooth so I don’t sugarcoat things

I write what I have seen and how it has effected me

My adventures and journeys have been vast

Come with me on this ride

Together we can both be pleasantly surprised

With what I will write

This is the the man that I am

Find more of my writings and poems at

Details | Couplet | |

Dewsbury Moor

The snow fell in Dewsbury Moor overnight,
They woke up at lunch to a horrible sight,
The snow had flowed through the broken gates,
And roads were blocked all across the estates,
The giros had still not arrived after ten,
So wailing was general within the crack den.
The bin bags piled up to the lower window,
Obscured by the grime-defying, beautyfying snow.
The wind whistled through the boarded up seams,
Of windows and roused men from opiate dreams,
While weary-eyed women with mascara'd tears,
Tend to their children, three in four years.
But the memories stay as the snow melts away,
How beautiful Dewsbury Moor looked today!

Details | Sonnet | |

thirsty cars

Thirsty Cars 


Those steep, tiring hills going home, I had been in town 

bought a new kitchen sink, the second one in forty years, 

nothing lasts, that’s how traders make their ill-gotten 

gains. My car was exhausted trailing smoke, to lighten 

its burden I alighted walked in front as it followed me 

slowly. On a flat stretch it teasingly overtook and drove 

in front of me and down a track into a deep ravine where 

feral donkeys live and run unlicensed garages I wasn’t in 

the mood to play “follow the leader,” so I walked home 

past wayside bars where cars guzzled Brazilian cane fuel 

and flashed their indicators, I ignored this depravity and 

hasted away. Midnight, when my car pulled up outside, 

it had lost the kitchen-sink and was splattered in manure 

of the long eared members of the horse family. 

Details | I do not know? | |

Windows and Boxes

Then and now,
my favorite thing to do
has always been
looking through windows,
looking in boxes.

I can still recall
that day.
Ten years old,
my first Pokémon.

My friends were my Pokémon,
my emotions were calculated through damage multipliers.
It was the life.

Now, my old friends gather
under my bed,
yet do not age.
But I have aged so much.

Stuck with humans present, I cry for those digital friends,
whom I could love without judgment,
whose overall reliability was a tangible number
in that Game Boy window,
where the only drama I felt
came in pixilated, perfectly perpendicular text boxes.

Humans are so flawed,
but not those Pocket Monsters,
whose margins of error were always measured
in a perfectly percentaged probability.

I know amazing people
who volunteer, serve, love.
they are deluded, imperfect.

I had a creature with low power, basic moves, and that always lost.
but It

Details | Free verse | |


A heart can bleed an evil deed

Yet in nature lie dormant after the fall
A return to fear after all
The climatic edge toward their own demise
Still a word to the wise

A sin will always find you out
This ought to give the sinner something to bitch & pout
To light a flame in shouts of anguish after the fall

Barbed wire fences social advances & no it alls
Search for words left unaided in its time
The curb of enthusiasm and the sublime
In anguish the soul longs for rest

In being cursed with fear to never have rest

In anguish the appease of the blind

We live for vile excess

Still a challenge to be free is a quest for time...
To travel alone amidst darkened caverns with portals of instant doom
We have relatives that beg of you to clean your room
This does nothing to stregnthen the heart

To light the spark to what it was I have been waiting for
Vengence is mine the Lord will repay
Giving papal homage in which to bow the knee to pray
In papal square thwart in fear

An ego scream to shed a single tear
Yet no need to fear in which to hide
Along the garb of social compromise
A word from the wise

I shed a single tear to numb its inner pain
Yet not having her in my arms was driving me totally insane!
Cursed be the man or woman who will take no heed
To revere a sovereign Lord in which took the blows

The blood soaked sweat on his brow in timeless appease of want
No where to lie his head in homage toward the dead
Cursed is the one who will not be blessed
Our blessed Lord once again is putting you to the ultimate test

An eagle will fly through the sky in sense of direction
A hero's reflection in never second guessing
A heart that is fixed on the natural will never succeed so take heed!
Cursed is every man that hangs on the tree

Please let this be me?

Details | Couplet | |

The Value of homelessness

Just because you have no home,
Does not make you any less,
You are still apart of this human race,
Whether you live in a mansion or a mess.

It’s such a shame to see your life go down the drain,
But you still hang in there strong,
You drench in the cold rain,
While singing your hopeful song.

I sometimes think of what you would have been like before,
 I suppose no different to who you are today,
Material possessions can't make you any more,
They just get in the way.

It’s not in my hands to rescue you,
Though I wish it could be,
Remember I’m the one who is trapped,
And you are the one who is free.

At least now you know the value of a stone,
The pricelessness of a crumb,
The fear of being alone,
Facing the end, if it shall ever come.

But one day your dreams shall build your home,
Then your sleepless fearful nights will be gone,
But in the mean time you keep hanging on.

Details | Limerick | |

Poor Joe

There once was a man named Joe
Who had the audacity to show

His face in a crowd
No, he wasn't to proud
Though some said
He should wear a shroud.

Details | Free verse | |

Knitting Frustration

It's relaxing, they told me
in the knitting class;
remember in college how you 
worked on a sweater when
finals were wearing, and it
helped with the stress as you 
finished that term paper?

Then why the dropped stitches and
mixed up cables as I try to
create after all these years?

The cap begun in knitting class
meant for the cold this winter
will probably be a gift next December.
The slippers will be cooking my feet
in June so I'll continue to work on them
hoping for Fall.

I've too many stitches on my circular needle,
don't remember using circular needles years ago.
My garment is twisted and has holes
I created; but I'm supposed to be relaxing
and enjoying this craft.

Details | Imagism | |

An Innocent Dream

Last night I saw a dream-
I was in the midst of a brown gleam;
The spot was like a land of cream;
Lakes and ponds were full with it -upto the brim.

Beautiful blossoms were everywhere,
The fragrance were for everyone to share ,
The snow flakes seemed most fair,
It seemed that Nature has created them with great care.

Chocolate creams made up the seesaw,
There was cno one to guide me under law,
There was no signs of fears and flaws,
And there was a cream cat with snow white claws.

What a dream it was just like the beauty of a rose-
But all were shattered when the light of dawn fell on the tip of my nose.

Details | Lyric | |

Show Me Your England, Ashton

Show Me Your England, Ashton
Show Me Your England, Dear
Show Me Your England, Ashton
Now, That I’m Finally Here…

He Took Me To New London Bridge
He Took Me To The Tower
And The House Of Lords And The Privileged
As Big Ben Chimed The Hour

He Took Me To Piccadilly Square
… Rode On The River Thames
England, Is Extraordinaire
And I’m Glad I Saw It With Him

… To The Palace Of Buckingham
Then Again To Parliament
At Hyde Park, We Had Tea And Jam
Then A Pub, For Refreshment

But Of The Sights, That He Chose
The Best Is; I Saw The Queen!
The Next Day, When I Arose…
Why… It Had Been A Dream… So…

Show Me, Your England, Ashton
Show Me Your England, Dear
Show Me Your England, Ashton
Now, That I’m Finally Here…

Details | I do not know? | |

Supersize Me

I'll have a #3
no onions and,
can you hang on a second?
I need to make an appointment.
Dr. Jones.
My Lipitor prescription needs refilled.
Okay, see you on the 14th then.
I'm sorry,
can I get that with extra mayo?
uh, yeah, sure
supersize it too.
Two apple pies for only a dollar?
Yeah, go ahead 
add those.
Did I say no onions?
oh, okay.
Diet Coke please.

Details | Rhyme | |


There is no warning signs
But on your face it is easy to find
We all become contagious to this disease
Believe me it grows like a seed to a plant to trees
It makes life so easy and simple
It is caught between a frown and dimples 
It is starting to sweep across the country 
It makes the world more friendly 
People who were once sad and blue
Lost in life with strife with nothing to do
With a heavy bag of misery on your shoulders
Inside your soul and spirit it makes you feel younger 
I  pray that you will be infected 
Come on try it anybody can do it
I really hope a cheerful germ invades your body 
I seen it make grieving people happy 
It’s spreading merriment to all your major organs 
Remember because it gives life so much meaning
It can grow a couple of feet or even a mile
Come on try it let me see you smile

Details | Rhyme | |

Fast Awake

Thank God for 7-27, when my son flew in
Life as it should be will forever begin
Charming little visions of how days are meant
To teach him as he shows me how life is spent

Listen to me now and read what I find so true
Words are like a beat that can start a groove
Bring the rhythm back to lift your spirits up
Don't worry too much because we all get stuck

My life seems to stop before it begins
Caught in another ever-recurring trend
Giving away every one of my previous wins
With Faith and company until my life ends

It's time now to be down again
Even faster than western winds
Life can run around, leave you in loop
Feeling that life needs one more scoop 
Tip the timer over, fall with the sand
Live for every second you possibly can

I will soon learn should luck turns up
I'm lost, backwards, and running amuck
Trying to regain what I thought I missed
Elusive, erratic and ending up like this

Never have I wanted to be other than here
Life in crystal-clear brings visions near
Capable are your dreams so easily achieved
All you have to do is work & truly believe

Look for a big picture in whatever you see
Never believe free, it offers no guarantee
Just sit back and listen to tales they tell
And make your own path but remember it well

Don't try to be so deep, just work to relax
Make life a story but include all the facts
Learn about yourself when you're at the mic
Work the crowd just to see what you're like

Life will soon be everything you need it to be
Proceed with sight don't let only destiny lead
You always have control in every step you take
Follow dreams today and always live fast awake

At times I don't know where this path would go
Like I'm hosting a show I've never seen before
Filling in the gaps, taking punches for others
Learning along the way what life really offers

It’s time now to be down again
Steps closer to an unknown end
Digging up dirt nearly burying yourself
At least the digging is good for health
Live your life now, stay until the very last
Live your life today as if it's already past

Details | ABC | |

Running From The Po Po

Good thing I am a former track star
Ain't got the dough to afford a car
The shirt I am wearing is on it's third month straight
That lady on the Pine Sol commercial gave me the secret to keep the smell up to 
Now all the females think I lost my Mo Jo
They all laugh watching me run from the Po Po
Now they have several of lined up against a brick wall
An old lady says, that's him the one who smells like Pine Sol
But I am set free on my own recognizance
I just smiled and nodded, I have no idea what that word meant
It is no fun committing crimes solo
It is even less fun,  having no one to leave behind when you're running from the 
Po Po
I've been pretty lucky having a predetermined escape route
I decided to drop the Pine Sol and switch to shout
The women yell and laugh as they call me PS
A new scent tomorrow will leave them with a second guess
I will dye my tee shirt blue using some Tydee Bowl
Gotta go under cover and not attract any attention from the Po Po
I sit down and eat my favorite kind of sandwiches
One with just mustard and one with the sloppy joe sauce, without the meat by 
I am drinking a cup of coffee that is ten days old
I take my finger and remove the floaters and chunks of mold
I am going to the station and make up a story to get a cup of coffee to go
They tell me to get my coffee and leave, I am mad, so I shake their vending 
machine and get a free pack of Ho Ho's
From now on, for my free cup of coffee, I am going to see the Po

Details | Prose Poetry | |


Here you are again.
Hi, HELLO, friend.
What is the news ?
Short and like a fuse.
Only love to send.
Death, rape, crime and offend.
What again was your name ?
Just call me - "INSANE".
A wayward brother of CAIN.
Tell me more bliss.
My girlfriend gave me a kiss.
What in the world do you miss ?
*A moment of peace and the snake hiss*

2006 from Scribble ?????
search: POEWHIT


Details | I do not know? | |

Just Another Saturday Night

Author’s Note:
Close friends often speak to each other in a language of their own making that outsiders 
can’t understand.. This is a look at a situation that created one such language between 
me and my best friend in high school. Nothing more, nothing less.

That Damn dinosaur-
Burning the bacon, again!
Smoking up the bathroom...

Combustible toilet spread,
Hot Damn! regurgitation,
Lettuce boat, left behind...

Jelly oozing from the ceiling,
with Banana-berry holding it up
Stupid football hole...

Ta-ta-vision, laughing station,
Spewing crescent dough from nostrils,
Favored flavored burger darts?

Did I mention the Damn dinosaur?

Burning chicken wings!
Porn on the sinking hangers,
Decimated delivery guy...

Spirits, in the room (and on the table)
a shower curtain ring on plywood-
Dance to random Ouija phrases...

Ramen numerals besieging Boo-
Cat’s claws in the wall,
Curling kitty hair-do, crazy!

Smokin’ smoggies under-table,
Birdies fly out over glass?
Tapping on their tail feathers...

Where the hell is that Damn dinosaur?

Details | Chastushka | |

Other Love

Sweetheart, sorry, I forgot to tell
Outside, I’ve other love, waiting
Will you let her in, and, do not yell
For she, got your blue eyes, smiling

Details | Free verse | |



I am widely read,~ Train doors open,
o my readers sit~some riders get off.  
or stand on long~ " Pardon me, sir! "
train cars! Sleep~  Guys' faces daze,
they won't since~someone is too glad
words get tense,~ while her legs trot;             
and action stirs; ~  no preacher cries                        
o another reason~  out at such sight! 
they read a lot,~ Cops on the watch,
is not to make ~  suspicion of threat;
real eye contact!~dogs sniff package.                          

Details | I do not know? | |

My Imperfections Thats Just Me

I'm a girl of imperfection, that's just who i am.

Sometimes I give up doing things when i don't think i can.

I'm a horrible liar but i sometimes still try.

They say my give away is something in my eyes.

They tell me I'm to passive and that i need to stand my ground.

Yet when i become a brat(altered for site)....

nobody wants me around.

I am Sagatarious and as stubborn as can be.

I bet on number 9 cus false hopes tell me it's lucky.

My number never wins but i play it anyway.

The dreamer inside me is waiting for that day.

I use bad grammer and stumble on my words.

Sometimes i talk so's hard to be heard.

Some friends call me pokey cus i move at my own pace.

I will get there eventually cus my life is not a race.

I'm a girl of imperfection...that's never gonna change.

Even when you know me, you'll still think i am strange.

Sometimes I'm frustrating and even annoy myself.

I take things for granted and I envy others wealth.

I love the smell of roses but i think Daisy's are the best.

Sometimes I eat the pettles and throw out all the rest.

I love to drive when theres more then just me.

Slug bug gets boring with just the car seat.

I have been known to snore when i sleep.

Bad dreams cause me to grind my teeth.

I was once told I was laughing hard in my sleep.

Still today i wish to remember that dream.

Forgotten forever like a stranger passing by.

The one that made me laugh without saying hi.

Occasionally im clumsey and I'm often being rushed.

Be careful with feelings are easily crushed.

I'm modest about my feelings so you would probrably never know.

But if you lie, cheat, or steal from me their sure to one day show.

I consider myself a passive woman...never lookin for a fight.

I was raised to use my words to stand up for what is right.


Details | I do not know? | |

Holding a Sporting Event...

And as could stand naked in front of others...
Do to all the better be important...
So this crazy thought of standing naked...any clues...
Something you missed growing up...seen something in a yard sale...
All this nature calls...
If it comes down to many can you get to join you...
Then you could get into the law about doing a sporting event...
If your under'll be new...
But the over forty use to it...
It's nothing to see it all...It's the thrill...
Or is something about a dare...
Would you show it all...
Let the world see what you've got...crazy this is not...
For to get passed the security and remove all...
That takes knowing how long the law will take to get to you...
So it important to know the law and when to run...
The second best part is how many will join you...
That just like holding a sporting event...

Details | I do not know? | |


I am talented at something's,  
for example
comes naturally to me,
though talking sometimes an effort 
I'm fluent in my a b c,
I can  walk with one foot in front of the other, 
I can sit on my bottom
for hours on end,
I can cry when unhappy
and which is more 
if I'm losing an argument
I can pretend,
I can open both my eye at the same time,
I can close them together,
and if I look out the window, 
most mornings
I can predict the weather,
I can tie my own laces,
silence my farts
even blame the smell of them
on someone else's parts,
I can pick my nose
and hide the evidence with a turn of the head
and a flick of the hand,
I can fall over 
which is more 
I can land,
but of my many talents
the one of I which I am most proud
(besides my modesty and grace)
is my ability to blend in 
with the rest of the crazy human race.

Details | Lay | |

A Generational Curse

we tend to forget the time when we ourselves were very young
our own parents did not understand some of the things we had done
we had our own style of music, our own dances and points of view
we fail to see that It's a curse every generation seems to go through

In the 1950's, there was teeny boppers, convertibles cars plus rock-n-roll
the parents from the big band era thought their children were out of control
In the 1960's, there was war protesting, hippies and anti-establishment
the parents from the bebop era thought their children had lost all their sense
In the 1970's, there was the Motown sound, flower power and acid rock
the parents from the rock-n-roll era thought their kids were chips off the old block
In the 1980's there was after-work parties, glitter balls and disco fever
the parents from the hippie generation
would not be mistaken for Ward and June Cleaver
In the 1990's, they had rap music, punk rock and designer street clothes
the parents from the acid rock era were clueless in their parental roles
In the new millennium the year 2000 known as Y2K
It's gotten to the point where most parents seemed to have lost their way

Is the situation getting better or Is It getting worse?
Is It that change is a constant which causes a generational curse?
Is it the sins of the father from the very beginning
that have been revisited on each generation of children?

do you remember the words that every parent has said 
to their children since the beginning of mankind?
"may you one day have children who act just like you 
who will make you think your losing  your mind"

Details | Senryu | |

Summer Pool

Summer Pool
Bikini time fun;
hanging ten by the cool pool,
grinning men enjoy.

Summer Season Senryu

Details | Free verse | |

It's Magic!

It’s Magic!

I’ll take away what is making
Everyone sick around here.

I’ve been hired by BP to
make the oil spill magically disappear.

Hocus pocus! Abracadabra!
Here take this pill,
wear this amulet spelling
ABRACADABRA to ward off this disease,
and put on these rose-colored glasses.

That black splat out
there is just whack!

According to BP,
It’s really just a
big blob of bird crap!


Details | Lyric | |


Dang, chick, what happened?
Why you lookin and actin
Like a hoe?
No homo.
But I know so
That it ain't supposed to
Look like you're after
Ballers and rappers.
Chasing dollar signs 
And lies
With your short shirts and tight jeans.
Can you even fit into them things?
I ain't tryin to be mean.
I'm just keeping it real,
Telling you how I feel
About your fake attitude,
Always actin rude,
Chasing some dude
In a bar
Because he drives a big, fast car.
I guess that's just who you are,
Another wannabe superstar.
We'll see how far
That takes you.
But you do you.
And I'mma do me.
And we'll see
Who ends up on top because I guarantee
You gone be lookin up to me
Wishing you had followed your dreams
Instead of greed.

Details | Rhyme | |

The Poker Hand

Ten,two,the Brunson in the whole,
Comes around to me and I decide to fold.
Jack,king on the second hand,I bet the minimum call,
Another goes all-in,they want it all.
Pull up sailboats,tossed them in,
Good thing to,pocket rockets took it then.
Dolly Parton,that's a nine and five,
Took two pair,the river kept me alive.
Got American airlines in the hole,the twin set,
Two more on the flop,going all in,you bet.
Heinz on this hand,folded,put my small in the pot,
Should have kept them,two more on the flop.
Nothing now,just drawing dead,
Man this game is getting in my head,
All in on pocket rockets,just the river yet to see,
Full boat,three aces and two kings for me.
The game is done,the final table I made,
Won the tournament with a flush of spades.

Details | Epulaeryu | |

Come On I Want Smore

Ideally assembled right
Sinfully scrumous
Molten mountain gooeyness
Skewered fashioned drive
Do you want
Smore !

Details | ABC | |

Lou's Diamond Phillips Screwdriver (

When he bought it, it cost him four grand
Specially made by the Craftsman Brand
It has never been removed from its original case
He keeps it locked up in his personal safe
One time a female seen it, she fainted, he had to revive her
It is not a myth, it does exist, Lou's Diamond Phillips Screwdriver
That is the reason it has never been brought out to show
The frivolous lawsuits would start to grow
He is a public figure so he is always under the paparazzi's microscope
He says he wishes that paparazzi would hang themselves, he would supply the 
The latest gossip is he was with a female, but no one could describe her
And there was also no sign of Lou's Diamond Phillips Screwdriver
Now he has agreed under a royalty contract with a trash magazine
That on New Year's Eve it will be seen
This however goes against the wishes of his financial advisor
Noww there's lawsuits pending from the public display of Lou's Diamond Phillips 

Details | Chastushka | |

Virgin or Not, Don't Just Touch It

O, touch me not, leave me, I plead
For the safety of your own fatty butt
Like me, bear in mind, King David
He killed a giant, with a single shot

Details | Bio | |


The thicket 'midst
Carpets of blue bell hue-
Hoping the horse didn't loose
A shoe.

Details | Cowboy | |

Cowboy Toe-Foo

I think that I shall never see
A cowboy that eats toe-foo—
Sech a dern thang jest could not be
In this ol’ bunkhouse crew!

Real men eats beef an’ pork an’ beans—
And all thangs within their reach—
Us real cowpokes drink coffee black—
Turn noses up at quiche!

Veggies should stay in ranch gardens—
These lips will taste no yogurt!
Good stew and biscuits make amends—
Seaweed makes bellies hurt!

Give us jerky or give us death—
Give us beans till we’re all blue—
But with all your strength and your breath—
Don’ serve us no toe-foo!

Details | ABC | |

I Haven't Changed My Drawers In Five Days

The smell is there people start to gag 
Having smelly drawers isn't like waving the flag 
People make comments under their breath 
They say my smell is the closest to death 
The question is will I ever change my ways 
I haven't changed my drawers in 5 days 
No girls want to spend any time with me 
The smell is herendous, I have to agree 
My family has found a way to cope 
Get close enough, you would probably croak 
The summer heat, sitting in my car, the traffic delays 
The heat makes the truth be known, I haven't changed my drawers in 5 days 
Now I am almost to Wal Mart, should I buy new drawers 
They could last 20 days if I bought a pack of 4 
I am doing my best to clean up my act 
I ask my girl if I'm on the right track 
She said you can start by staying 50 feet away 
Now she is aware, I haven't changed my drawers in 5 days

Details | Free verse | |

Runcorn Moonlit Romance

Through the erotic alleyways
of dim set lamppost light,
smoky the figure struts on by
to catch the last bus of the night.
It's gone past eleven,
and it's down grim lucks drive,
but she'd've danced till dawn
swimming in any old dive-
Off goes the lady of liquor,
toes screeching to be a little quicker,
Her blisters cry to green sleeves 
But she daren't try paddling in hazer's heap.
And she is in presence of charm
by tweens and men offering her arm.
They serenade her beauty in heckled praise:
"Your dead fit- give us a gob-job la"
and with a hickup she giggles,
and coyly flutters her stuck on eyes.

Oh the seductive sound of chavs zipper
that to her delight moonlight flicker
gives a hint to their gift like that of the ripper.
She passes by,
oh those gentle pricks of enticement-
the serenade fading to silence,
meeting her backed against the wall.
Nervous she presses her dress to her stomach,
blushing she takes her other hand
seductively pressing it on her lips and down her throat.
He grabs her wrist and thrusts his surprise toward it,
she bows her head in submission,
taking a firm grip-
she lurches and twists.

"There you go" she legs it. 

Details | Alliteration | |


Ok I have never heard of alliterations…….. And was wondering if words like 
abbey, acme, and acne would go along with alliterations …  and just maybe the 
meaty mossy messy mold at the mucky muddy murky waters of the slightly 
slippery sloppy backwaters were on the right track of this choicely choosy classy 
way of expressing earthlings eating elephants in the early evening with a 
beautiful sunset easily edging ending a really nice time and how do they all 
come together and not torture the toddler that is tougher than the trader tracking 
the tractor up the tower with the trainer  trotting with the trooper right behind 
looking for the treasure and the traitor trekking with the trucker loosing his 
trousers while trolling in the backwater. , I thought even if it isn't it is different.

Details | Free verse | |

Tabloid Minus Page Turning Equals TV

========== O

Monday night. Moving magazines. Aimed dead at killing an evening, my fingers target =========
These same old four buttons; < < > >.

1, 2, 3, 4. Five’s a pipedream. Gaudy, small-minded and trapped in affected Americana.
Just like whatever the hell this is. Too much smiling.

====== > Diseases. An old man’s mouldy cock. Right there, mid-screen. Mid-bite, I choke,
as they mumble about vulvas 

======== > A dog rolls in a mound of white paper. Whimpering at the softest arse tickle.
Like his little tongue? He’s running! With T.P! The Hilarity! Ho ho

======= > A mother and daughter swing together on a sunny day. One is singing like a
xylophone. They bond across a yoghurt.

Processed fried chicken cracked open with a wry smile and a twinkle in those white, white

======= < Psoriasis and bubbling skin, oozing puss and cracked smiles. Bloody stumps.
Dripping bandages. Wild premonitions of vomiting onto;

======= > A familiar street, full of families too awful to hate. Bald men stomp, cheeky
guy’s grin, heart throb’s pulsate. Young filly’s flounce, old hag’s huddle and all moan
mournfully. Other’s pass in between, and outside of, the broad spectrum of emotional
alliteration and post-modern punctuation without so much as a smile ==== >

Kevin Bacon and Kyr =========== > Michael Dougl

========= > Widescreen TV’s at my fifteen inch window

========= > A man with a silly haircut, waving a knife at a pepper with intent

========= < Crying mothers, acting emotional. So you don’t have to?

=============== > Women in windows waving enhanced monstrosities at the wanking and eager.
Tittilitation for the text buck, a half-filled screen of despair. Tribute to the madness
that grips young men through the night

========= > Still, writing this keeps me sane. More sadness

======= > More sales

============ >                        ============= >

	============ <

That’s a thought these images do not create ==== >

That’s a thought.

These images do not create ======== O

Details | Free verse | |

I'm Walking Backwards To Christmas

I’m walking backwards to Christmas, he sang,
Across the Irish Sea, he added;
In his head the wires disconnected to fuses
Blowing and smoking through serotonin drought;
Genius rubbed nerves with scouring pads,
Scrubbing the cells with black paint and cactus juice;
The deserts of chemical oblivion swept forever,
Jostling triptizol clouds and white lightning,
Bi-polar expresses careering off tracks,
Boxcars of words exploding in half-scripted fragments,
Filling the green-walled ward with deranged laughter.

“Yes, Private?”
“Some bad news and some good news.”
“What is it?”
“Well, the Indians have captured the fort, 
burned it to the ground, killed all the men,
raped all the women and killed them too.”
“And the good news?”
“They spared your wife.”
“Damn, never did like them Indians much.”

The crystal sets erupt hysterically nationwide, 
Tears run, spilling down cheeks, bodies convulsing,
As the currents make him convulse;
And the pioneer of the alternative, crusader of the ludicrous insane, 
The straight-jacketed genius of the airwaves 
Continues to sing:
I’m walking backwards to Christmas, he sings,
Across the Irish Sea, he adds.

Details | Lyric | |

we started out kinda

we started out kinda real young
baby i know i was a fool,
now ive grown up
all of the things we use to do
do you remember
i wanna be your man,
aint tryna be ya friend (be ya friend)

so tell me do you like it
drop, top, mercedes benz
top up ,cause your hair be (blowin thru da wind)
wheels spinning, hair did( blingin ring) ya dig

she pull up at the club lookin like, millions,
billions, watching you from a distance
all the fellas be watching you like a vision
ya sexy thighs,sexy hip, sexy midsect
looking real good,make a reggin wanna hit that,
forget that, i think im ready for commitment
so are you ready for submission


n-e-ways, i know you with him for a short change
but you and me together forever,
will never change
when i was younger all i thought  about was spitting game
never caring about your feeling was to remain,
the same, im sorry i cause you all this pain ( i promise you)
i fill them all with brighter days
(and hopefully) i just get a chance to say, that
(i love you) and i hope that you feel da same way 


we started out kinda real young
baby i know i was a fool
now ive grown up
all of the things we use to do
do you remember
i wanna be ya man
aint tryna be ya friend, be ya friend

i aint tryna be ya friend...
girl i only wanna be ya man
so baby want you let me in...
and i promise it will never end

Details | ABC | |



Broken hearted and busted by the woman I trusted
When she fooled with the bachelor next door.
He’s tall, good looking and works out with weights
Living off income from family before.

She claims it is I who must shoulder the blame
For her ongoing need for a another.
I worked to much and played to little
Though she still loves me like a brother.

So here I dwell in my sportsman’s camper
Parked at a rest stop just outside of town.
She got the house, child support and alimony
Which will last till I’m dead in the ground.

What was I thinking of when I married her
I must have been blinded by lust.
Thank heaven I’m free of her wicked ways
To search for my angel of trust.

I pray for a women to love me again
Though I’m stripped of my worldly wealth.
Lost in the haze of tears and sorrow
As my sadness overwhelms my health.

They say all is fair in politics and love
So prepare for the unexpected.
There’s nothing worse than to give of yourself
To wake up and find you’re rejected.

By Tom Zart

Details | Rhyme | |

Time To Get Up

Tick tock tick tock
Out window with that clock
Each and every frigging day
Tells me to get out of hay

Brushing teeth
Breath smelling so sweet
Another dam hole in sock
Oh how I hate that clock

Blue jean entire
God I'm really tired
Clean sand bugers out of eyes
In rush to say goodbye's

Gas light engine on again
This crisis is such a sin
Scrounging pockets for a buck
Pulling out lint what such luck

Morning greetings from the boss
When all I wanted to do was stay in bed and toss
Paper work piling up
No coffee to fill my cup

Tic tock tick tock
Come on hurry up dam clock
For shopping still has to be done
And let me tell you it's no fun

Kids husband dogs and cats
Drive me nuts like a pack of rats
What can one do
But not to come unglued

So I want to give a big thanks
To my alarm clock that doesn't play pranks
And gets me up and out that door
So I can pay for those things I truely adore

Details | Free verse | |

Thoughtful Fertilizer


Details | Verse | |

Her Wedding

It’s been a funny summer, June
skipped into August and was gone.
How did we miss that afternoon?
It’s been a funny summer. June
just packed her bags. No honeymoon.
The whole production overdrawn,
it’s been one funny summer. June
skipped into August and is gone.

Details | Free verse | |

In Need Of Therapy

Ulysses Rudolph Roberts
a Federalist by default
laid on the couch
and spilled out his guts
to a women he
envisions to be
the ultimate 
siren of shrinks.
With her hair in a bun
books, glasses
and that half buttoned
blouse thing.
He cried and he shook
over the battles he fought
and how everything
that ever happened
was never his fault.
After all
he would reason
he had built
the best fortress
in all God's Kingdoms
with ultra thick walls
turrets and draws.
The tallest
strongest and soundest
in all worlds.
So what if he had to kill
capture and rape
in order to feed 
the armies he made
he had God's blessings
His sacred grace.
Yet, Ulysses was
still cowering in the arm
of an old red couch
and crying out loud
It's Not My Fault!
as the Doctor scribed

Dean Walker

Details | Free verse | |

Broken Promises

The spirit of the age has tempered vile degrade
In desolation it's will torn wild
We send vomit into letters exposed to loosened fetters
Erupted in mass chaos in its plausible quest
The more we want so the more we in turn invest
We wait in idol fancy as some lost souls in Sid & Nancy
We hurt then tie the tube getting loose lube filled with screws
We plummage into a violent existance isn't it relevant?
We think were alone yet we never are cause God is still in charge
In social regard toward difficult matters that appease
We lose sight of love & social need
In foot steps drawn in the sand someday we may learn & understand
In columns of rescued menure pile in its claim
The world outside is totally insane
A casual encounter with a so called friend?
The next day you got Aids, now you got pain!
The choices we make to appease the mind
In columns of choiced red, blue & brown....

Broken promises through its shattered glass filled with pain
Broken promises  can easily drive a man insane
A court jester will amuse the crowd as long as there is an occasion
Perhaps society is in need of a break on a long awaited vacation?
Closed minded sentiments filled in vile affection
The novice gets hungry stops at his local 7 eleven
Promises made in the dark have come full circle into the light
Broken Promises with advant garde choices made in the night
Elaborate decorum in want of passage;
We last a minute & grieve as the savage!

Details | Limerick | |

Not My Way

A friend is what I am by night and day,
Regardless of what other people say,
Oh, the good thing you must note, 
Is that peace and love I sought,
So sleep well, I take not your wife away! 

Details | Light Poetry | |


Sorry if I came here illegally

My country lacked opportunity

So this is how it had to be

Never took anything from you

Paid my taxes just like you

Society let the color of my skin in

But shamed my people and culture

I chased the American dream

As Americans wanted all my people to leave

I adapted to your culture

Your way of life

What more can I do

To say that I truly appreciate the red,white and blue

Thank you for reading. Visit for more poems and writings that I have written.

Details | Sonnet | |

Winter in the Garden

Each winter the Ladder Backed Woodpecker
taps at the barked notches of apple trees.
The leaves have fallen and frost plasters the
limbs brittle enough to break by wind or weight.

This is when the Ladder Backed attacks.
Digs its beak deep into the trunk and pries
out her secret. This is when the woodpecker
sees itself exposed, the strange chagrin,

a grownups mind, ashamed of knowledge.
This is the same season our sad aged parents
were thrown out of the garden. This is when
the thought of good and evil broke bones,

limbs fell off, birds ripped through to the core, 
and a jealous God made us stewards of the world.

Details | Clerihew | |

My Favorite Spy

My own favorite spy, James Bond 007,
He loves stirred Martini, but not shaken.
He is very lovable and blue-eyed blond,
That’s why sexy spies gave up their gun.

Details | Quatrain | |

Get to Work

Men at work, bumper to bumper
tensile traffic, thick black bitumen.
Everything seems to last longer 
then that grey granulated concrete

that extends from Bodega, Cali-
fornia to Savannah, Georgia.
Blacktop pot-fill smells like
the solid and searing work of roofers;

hardhat knuckle down workers,
men that stretch skyscraper towers,
or suspend themselves over
the ledge of the Golden Gate Bridge.

If only this endless line of steel
on rubber wheels could steam roll
past the frustrated flashing lights
and pinstriped lattes honking horns.

If only these orange jump suites,
(sloth shaped men on armrest shovels,)
spent less time blathering like this poem,
we’d all be able to get to work. 

Details | I do not know? | |

The Joys of Online Dating

Reading captions besides smiling lips. 
Reveiwing lifesyles and basics.
 Choosing in a moment or over quiet deliberation whether
 to reply to a flirtatious glance. 
Finding, more and more, that I have little experience at this game.
  In its ruless, non-conformist, strange land.
  Where one easily becomes prey to wolves and vultures.

Some introducations drip of the bitter venom;
 Others no etiquette with little skills of we social animals.
 Regardless, we all call out seeking some one to fill the void prior relations left.
Some were a literal " Yikes!"
 Their manner seemed afraid that smiling
 would either break the camera or their face.
Others were the hearldings of wounds previous relationships had inflicted,
 leaving them open to fester, ooze, and putrify.

I do not wish to be the antibiotic they need;
 a Florence Nightingale they want to tend and bangage these sores.

Others have no interests save the industry paying for this lot of cyberspace.
Fairly boring not much to say.
  I would not be able to carry on a conversation beyond pleasentries and introductions.
Though I do not understand if it is me or them at fault

More to the point when I allow myself to be taken by the hand by another touched on theneck by a gentle hand A kiss so soft so warm melting the icy armor, 
coolness of my demenor.
 Diva gladly abdicates her throne.
Needy for a touch of a lover, consistant and sincere.
More cautiously do I proceed; not to let anyone, just anyone, in marring up my house.

Too many years I have tucked away 
these true feelings boiling deep with in me.
So very few in the world can hold a candle to my expectations.
   For the moment diva will keep her crown. 

Details | Limerick | |

Holy Rasputin

There once was a sage man named Rasputin,
With filthy beards, and wore cross made of tin.
While preaching his holy crafts,
He met the queen and her staffs.
He slept with them that got him in a bin.

Details | Light Poetry | |

' The Dance ... ' (Part 2 of 2)

‘ The  Dance … ’

Oh … How I Love To Dance
Why … Do I Love To Dance ? …
Its Rhythmic … Its Ritual
… The Body is So Beautiful ! …

Once … I Saw The Ocean Groove
… That’s The Way, I Want to Move
Earth-Spinning, Round and Round
Don’t You Know … We All Get Down ?

Don’t You Know, What The Good-Book Says
‘God’ … Moves in Mysterious Ways
That Is Why I Love To Dance …
… His Empire, Moves In Elegance !

Lord, Have Mercy, Keep Moving Me
Moving and Grooving, to Your Glory !
Blood-Flowing, Lung – Breathe
‘ The Spirit ‘, is Zooming … You Better Believe !

( Just Look At It Move ‘His’ Girl, MoonBee !_

Acrobat, Hip-Hop, Ballet
Art of Tap, Polka, Reggae’
You Can Do It !… I Know You Can
Just Listen, To That Bible – Band ! …

Music … Just Adds Motivation
Stirs A Soul To Celebration
Dancing … is A Declaration
We’re On Cruise-Control, In His Creation !

Dancing … Can Be A Holy Act
God, and His Son … Like It, Like That
So, Nod Your Head … Do The Wave
Signal ! … You Want To Be Saved !

Don’t Be Shy … At Situation
Meet Me At ‘ The Revelation’
They’re Opening Up, The Garden – Gate
… Hurry Now … Don’t Be Late !

Cherubs, gonna’ Let Us In
No Cover Charge … Bring A Friend
Oh ‘Son of God’ … Please Partner Me
… Dance Me To Eternity !

Oh, How I Love To Dance
It’s A Rhythm – Romance
Passion – Performance
Yes Lord … I Love To Dance

Dance! … into Eternity
Dance! … Better Than A Fantasy
Dance! … Universal Dance Floor
Dance! … Don’t You Wanna’ Dance Some More ?

Dance ! … Now, Can’t You See ? …
Dance ! … We Gon’   P a r t y !
Dance With This Girl, thru The Galaxy
Dance With The Stars and The Only MoonBee

Boys Shout ! … ‘Bring On The Dancing Girls !’
God’s Making A Wonder World
Them … Us … You … and Me …
Still Moving … To His Mystery !

           Now Dance ….

Details | I do not know? | |

Watch a tape and see...

To sin nothing...for it's free...
Have you indulged...what sin have you  looked into...
The juicy type...the dark secret worlds...
Can you even tell someone...are you on the other side...
What rightist person are isn't till Sunday...
Or do you do the seven know the TV thing...
For seven days to make you watch...just like in some book they talk...
What have they got to do...what shows can be this strong...
Are you that glued to indulge in song...
What a life have you to they tell you what you need...
Buy this...See in know what we do...
Seven days and even watch again no mistake...
To sin nothing...for it's free...
Watch a tape and you will see...

Details | Limerick | |


He was known for his insight and vision--
For his wise, sagacious decisions.
But his ruin came to be
When he moved to D.C.
And fell in with that town's politicians.

Details | I do not know? | |

So easy a caveman can do it Part 2

(This is a fictional poem)

I'm a caveman who carries a club.
I'm very dirty because I live in a cave and I've never seen a bathtub.
My body smells like manure and my hair smells like pee.
People jump through windows just to get away from me.
Those Geico.Com commercials are mean and unfair.
They think cavemen are primitive because we drag women by their hair.
I'm not primitive but i do smell worse than a corpse that has decomposed.
If we ever meet face to face, you'll have to put a clothespin on your nose.
I haven't bathed since I was born which has been over three decades.
Maybe that's the reason why I've never been laid.

Details | Light Poetry | |

' The Art Of Dancing ... ' (Part 1 of 2)

‘ The  Art  Of  Dancing… ’

Oh ! … How I Love To Dance
Why… Do I Love To Dance ? …
… it’s Rhythmic … it’s Ritual
The Body Is So Beautiful !

Oh ! … How I Love To Dance
Why … Do I Love To Dance ? …
If You’re Breathing – You Ain’t Still
Check Your Heartbeat and It Will …

Dance … Into A Fantasy
Virtual Reality
Dancing Makes Me Feel So Free
… Come and Do A Dance With Me

Dancing … is Good Exercise
Dancing … Adds A Spice to Life
Dancing … is A Natural High
You Can Do It … If You Try …

… Head, Shoulders, Legs, Feet
Get ‘em Moving to The Beat
Back, Arms, Hands, Hips
Shake, Stomp, Slide, Slip

Bend, Bop, Break, Bounce
Push, Pull, Prance, Pounce
Soul-Roll, Slow, Fast
Jump, Jiggle … All That Jazz !

Dancing … is A Form of Joy
Do It ! … Baby Girl and Boy
Keep The Music, Playing Please
Honey … Just Look At Your Knee !

When I Dance … I Come Alive !
Waltz, Cha-Cha, Swing, Jive
Circle, Square, Line, Freestyle
Tango, or Step – Side to Side

Innocent – Interaction
Expression – Satisfaction
Set-it-in Motion … You and I
… Aaw, Just Look At That Guy

Oh ! … I See You’re Moving Now !
… thought You Didn’t Know How ?
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! … He! He! He! …
You Dance ‘bout as Good as Me ! …

Supper-Club, or in My Room
At Your House … or Under The Moon
If I Hear A Real-Good Tune …
You Will Know, I’m Dancing Soon

… Dance … Into A Fantasy
         Virtual Reality
Dancing Makes Me Feel So Free
… Come Dancing Now … With The MoonBee

Posted for:  Jared Pickett, ‘Cause I Know
       He Loves To Dance… (Smile)


Details | Rhyme | |


I come to her house
She said It’s her birthday
But there’s no one else
I guess I’d eat anyway..

I start with the strawberry
Soft, red and tempting
So sweet as it touched my lips
That I gobbled up the whole thing..

Then I turned to see
Two melons lay loose
So firm and juicy
I relished them like booze..

I asked her for a drink
She offered me instead
Some warm and creamy milk
And I gleefully indulged..

Of course she gave me her cake
One with a cute slice
It was too much for me to take
Her very tasty and creamy pie..

Then I went for the clincher
That little cherry on top
To satisfy me and also her
Just ripe for me to pop..

Details | I do not know? | |

The Heartist

You feel it in every sentence

You wear it on your sleeve

You paint with it, long strokes and curves 

You sing with shades of passion and
You feel it shudder with every shadowy footfall echoing out of sight

You counterfeit it and shout the news from rooftops
You place it in a flag

You write it into every verse
You feel it beat with foreign rhythm
You feel safe when it knows the key

You colour phrases and it beats a rainbow in the roof of your mouth
You pay with it for every botched line and dropped note

You choose to paint your heart on your sleeve
Your curse; to bear it for all to see

Details | I do not know? | |


did his mom find out?
i bet he felt dum lol
we're goin 2 c that new Jack Black movie 2morrow
u 2 want to go 2?
the answering thingy said it sta rts at 7:15
o, well let me know if he gets off early then
me 2,
i got a mth test 2 morrow
and i havent studied none
luv u

Details | Rhyme | |

A Plea From A Disgruntled Voter

(Or Please God, Let It Be November 7th)

Dear senators, congressmen
Please hear my plea.
Your phone calls and commercials
Mean nothing to me.

Your muck-raking and mud-slinging
Go from night until noon.
This election could never 
Be over too soon

Please understand, I've made my decision.
I don't need your e-mail or phone inquisition.

So please can we just stop the attacks
And go give each other a pat on the back.

Details | Rhyme | |


I was shopping in my local store
when I saw a square glass case,
it had a price tag on it
but was full of empty space.

I spoke to the assistant
who looked at it with pride,
I said, it has a price tag
but there is nothing inside.

She said it's very special
and of course you have to pay,
you don't see many places
with nothing on display.

It seems to be quite popular
you find it everywhere,
even at the customs
most have nothing to declare.

You can find it in any shop
if you have time to spare,
there is always someone coming out
saying they bought nothing there.

Nothing is a funny thing
it is not there at all,
but countries go to war
over nothing, as I recall.

If you spend all your money
you still have nothing left to show,
and when you die
you always take it with you when you go.

To some it's a religion
which really is quite clever,
for when you come to think of it 
nothing lasts forever.

Details | Free verse | |

Dew Drop Inn

There was a place called Dew Drop Inn
In that place, you could find many a friend
As long as you drank beer, wine, whiskey or gin
There was always some-one surrounding you 
Happily obliging to join in with you
Dancing and singing often off key
Didn’t matter to the barkeep 
He was always as pleased as can be
Especially when customers spent more than fifty 
When time to close before he would turn the key
He would state "Thank you for coming friends
To the Dew Drop Inn, Please Do Drop in Again" 

Details | Free verse | |

No God

If I could spill my soul
onto the floor or a skillet
let my heartbeat liquid 
and spell out a creation song

I would yell, yell, yelp!
Yelp, about my unfolding self
and just how magnificent
I have become because Jesus

Christ, Krishna, Muhammad,
told me something beautiful
and that fragile bubble
which protected me, myself

burst into reality and me
just I may not my self and I
crumble to the science
of no God without proof.


Dean Walker

Details | Kimo | |

Mrs. Karate

Dad is not happy when mom is with him
Watching a karate film
She employs what she sees

Details | Limerick | |


She wed a wealthy man named Harry.
Now, people call her greedy Mary.                   
It really isn't funny;       
She married for his money.
Holy matri-monetary!                         

Details | Rhyme | |

The Geekers Ode Author Unknown


It’s three in the morning and I ain’t been to bed
I thought I’d sleep, but I got high instead
I’m geeking out the window through a crack in the curtain,
I thought I heard something, but I’m not really certain.
There it is again, that strange awkward sound, 
Like someone’s out there, sneaking around.
I wonder who they are and what they want –
Is it a thief in the night or the cops with a warrant?
I think I see someone, as many as three – 
There’s two on the ground and one in the tree!
It must be the cops out there again,
They’re watching me too close to see where I’ve been.
They have night vision goggles to see in the dark,
I HAD a pair – but I tweaked them apart!
They can hear every sound with their high-tech toys,
Even a whisper, or the slightest noise.
They still are there to keep an eye on me,
I think they’re on the move, if only I could see.
Well now I’m in luck for here comes the sun – 
I’ll catch him this time when he starts to run.
Now it is bright as a new day dawns – 
Where are the cops? Where have they gone?
They faded with the night right in front of me,
The two on the ground and the one in the tree.
I could go to bed, but I wouldn’t sleep –
The thought of the cops is making me freak!
How could they leave and me not see them go?
Either they’re really fast or I’m really slow
So I’ll sit right here another day and night,
And geek out the window and see if I’m right.
Cause I’ll never know for sure if it’s really the feds,
Unless I stay up again and don’t go to bed!!

Details | Free verse | |


My head starts pounding. I have heard this before just yesterday. Must look 
fascinated. Focus come on focus, You can do it, umm, Pretend they are eating. 
No better not go there, do not want to look disgusted, we are trying for fascinated. 
Okay pretend that they are standind on their heads, no that doesn't seem to work. 
I am falling asleep time for a new tactit. Maybe if I make up stories about their 
lives as they repeat themselves, maybe that will get me through.

Details | Epulaeryu | |

Halloween Candy (Epulaeryu)

Halloween candy so nice
Like sugary spice
Crispy, creamy, chocolate
With tasty raisins
Trick or treat goblins
My tooth is 

© Joseph, 10/10/2007
© All Rights Reserved

The “Epulaeryu” poem is about delicious food and drinks. It consists of seven 
lines with thirty-three syllables. The first line has seven syllables, the second line 
five, the third line seven, the fourth line five, the fifth line five, the sixth line three, 
and the seventh line has only one syllable which ends with an exclamation mark. 
Each line has one thought relating to the main course. The Epulaeryu poetic form 
syllable count is 7/5/7/5/5/3/1. It has corresponding lines built around the main 
course, and concludes with the ending line expressing the writer’s excitement 
and feelings about the meal.  The Epulaeryu poetic form was invented by Joseph 

Details | Rhyme | |

Could it be? Was the question

Could it be? Not to sound too poetic
That I’m alone, unwanted and pathetic

Well if we sum all the facts in our hand
Then we may find near the answer we’ll land

Well I am as we speak writing poetry
Something that should be left to Pete Doherty

Or maybe a libertine of days gone by
For they understood romance would not die

Could it be? Was the question asked
Thus my self worth is diminishing fast

You see I feel a shadow of my forma
And I’ll try see if I can inform ya

My phone rarely bleeps or dose shudder
For my life has seen much more colour

It was much more red, yellow, green too
If I’m honest now it’s much more blue

They used to say I was “man about town”
Always a wink, a smile. No frown

The tail is classic, once a light burning bright
And now it has faded I give up the fight

Hang on! Bleep, bleep check inbox
Reads: Phil get to the party tonight rocks.

Details | Prose Poetry | |

The Careful Dissemination of Funds

I hear their idle chatter and wish that sound was optional.
A box checked in a menu, a simple click and forget.

The rapid dilation of my pupils brings me back.
Back to hypnotic aisles of temptation and necessity. A selection of the finest they say.

Right there see, on the cardboard, next to charts and columns of calories and strange
numbers I’d sooner forget.
But buy one get one free still gets me every time.

I stare intently at the dancing numbers until the man with the tie moves away.

Glossy pages shine brighter than the fruit racks they mirror,
Competing for importance in my wallet and my life

The magpie wins and the bananas will wait.

Half the magazines hawk five a day in rounded sans serif, bold against the background of a
chef’s haircut.

Maxims of bizarre cosmopolitan playboys and hustlers marked up at 3.99. Landscapes of
polished flesh glow beneath the loving airbrush of the paycheck. Competing for nuts at the
A vanity fair for the hollow, shining in the fading light of a red top sunset.
Paraphrased blogs and condensed morsels of crude celebrity nudes for the I-Generation and
the remnants of New Labour and Thatcher’s Britain.

Anglers, caravans and 50 cent, half the demographic, half the price. Count me out.
I finger a few and find no real desire. The Internet offers this bilge up for free. 
They’d all be nude and crapping on each other.
The great silicon toilet of humanity

Past freezers of long dead prisoners, pulped to perfection. Pigs in tubes and flat cow
Pancakes of vomit and fish dishes I won’t ever try. No time for it.
Frankenstein's monster behind glass slides.
Packets of sugar in various disguises. Cereal and chocolate, soft drinks and sauce dips.

Lattes and ladles, loofahs and loaves. The prattle returns through the shelving
I turn around the curries and there is the tie. Talking sport and hard drinking, women and
the weather. Looks me in the eye.

I turn before any interaction and feign interest in something, a scouring pad. Intricately
woven metal coils waste major concentration and he’s gone. Box checked, minimize and move on.

Everything shines in this weird three-quarter light, hypnotic. Confusing. Conscious of the
bottles ahead that I can’t ever touch. Seedy and appealing, puerile and appalling.
Something for everyone. 

And nothing for me.

Details | Ballad | |

Hoochie Koochie Bop

It all starts when you walk in the door 
Men hoot and holler as you enter the floor 
Your body shakin' in all the right places 
As you look around you see the looks on the men's faces 
The music and the electricity have you pumped, you just can't stop 
You show the crowd how to Hoochie Koochie Bop 
Another hottie comes out to show you up 
You both compete to see who has the better stuff 
The gyrations, all the steamy moves 
Another hot mama enters the floor, she is well into the groove 
The crowd goes wild as a man grabs your waist 
You tell him I'm the candy you will never taste 
He asks what does it take to get what you've got 
You tell him to get off the floor, you can't Hoochie Koochie Bop 
A female approaches you and grabs your hand 
Something about this seems right, she understands 
She smiles at you, you smile right back 
You know she is only after one thing, that's a fact 
She wants to take you to her penthouse loft 
Maybe it's time for a one on one Hoochie Koochie Bop 
The dance floor feels so good, so right 
You tell her to go, you want to dance all night 
A couple more shots of tequila will do the trick 
You want to slow down, things are moving too quick 
You are flawless on the floor, no one will mock 
You are the master of the Hoochie koochie Bop 

Details | Lyric | |

The Duke Of Derring' Do

Man About Town… Richly – Renown
The Duke Of Derring – Do

Part Of His Fame… Debonair Dames
Saved From A Distress Or Two

Handsomest Face… Ladies Chase
All – Over The Place… For His Embrace

What’s A Gel’ To Do?...
For The Duke Of Derring’ – Do…

Chivalry And Gallantry
He Wears It, Like His Clothes

Right- On Cue… Tailored – New
All The Ladies Sigh… Oooh!...

What Do They Say… There’s A Day
A Maid May… Take His Breath Away!

… Take It As Your Due…
Duke Of Derring’ – Do!...

The   Duke…  Of…  D e r r i n g’ – Do!

Details | I do not know? | |

Prayer to the Porcelain God

Short footed god of porcelain and white,
I ask your help to get me through the night,
I come to you again in agony and despair,
With whiskey on my breath,
And peanut shells in my hair.
My head is pounding,
The room is spinning,
The total reversal of the contents of my stomach,
Unfortunately is beginning.
I can walk no further,
 I can drink no longer,
My shear stupidity,
 I sit in the floor and ponder,
I didn’t come here for self-degradation,
I had no intention to give common sense the boot,
But responsibility and moderation,
Unfortunately are not my strong suits.
I hang my head in reverence,
I assume the position,
My gift to you will soon commence,
Through your crown of my own fruition.
Save me from myself,
Save my life from going south,
Save me from witnessing,
My shoes come out of my mouth.
But, if I must give back,
All that I have taken in,
Help me make it to tomorrow,
So that I may be forgiven,
For my depravity and sin.
If you’ll just do that for me,
I swear I’ll never drink again,
It’s a real waste to go out every weekend,
And never remember any of the things I’ve done,
Or the places I’ve been. 
I know that talk is few and far between,
But I don’t want the bad me to be,
All that anyone can remember being seen.
Please except my prayer to you this day,
As I pull the lever and wash this night away,
I’ll make good on my promise, 
Thanks for listening to my praying,
And I won’t be back again tomorrow,
Of course, that’s what I’ve always been saying.

Details | Sonnet | |

The Note

I was corner-stoned by many of you.
The note was dotted with a dash.
But this note was an ultimate smash.
I found a peephole and peeped through.
I found a bird gave him the note and away he flew,
Across the deserts and the valleys he was there in a flash,
Across the rivers and Oceans he made a great big splash.
He made it to the shore, but the note he began to chew.
He passed a timely test,
And his belly was full,
He did not stop to rest,
The note he had to pull.
The bird landed on the Oceans shore,
Singing praises of his rugged chore.

Details | Free verse | |


Innuendo .


When you want booze

and dance

you get pinches

and leers

left quizzing why

its never

from the one

you want

as requesting 

that must heard



When a simple

drink order

you want 

to place

is interrupted

by slurring

voices saying

" hey gorgeous" 

while swaying 

to and fro 

and nearly smashing

into that

pretty face.


Innocent victims


should think 

more of the

clothes they

selected and 

how they wore



Then a victim 

no more.


Maidens seek

the rhythm

loud free

uninterrupted dances

and sweet tasting

sugar like liquors.


Lad's search out

pretty young chick's

shaking their things

flirting and flaunting.

He unnerves

with his kooky moves

awkwardly in her space.

Ever so lucky

to score a 

phone number 

and the maybe

empty promise she

will answer.

Details | List | |

Yet More TV Guize Listings

"Sappy Daze"- the Fonz gets a job in a Vermont maple syrup factory and faints 
from the fumes.

"Fiends"- The gang decides to desecrate a cemetery.

"The Tyro Banks Show"- newly formed banks struggle against the established 
giants in this hilarious spoof of "Night Of the Living Deed"

ESPN-"Halls of Flame"-Firefighters struggle to contain a blaze at the 
Cooperstown Museum of Baseball.

"Dog, the Bounty Hunter"- An ugly man with unruly hair and a tubby wife trains his 
Yorkie to locate paper towels.

"Malcom Took a Piddle"- Malcom wets his bed.

"Forensic Smiles"- Crime investigators investigate 6 corpses found with lurid 

"Hannity and combs"- 30 boring minutes of Hannity styling his hair.

"Crops" (Unreality)- In Atlanta, farmers deal with renegade bol weasels.

"Larry King Dead"- the audience is spared another pompous tirade.

"That 70's Snow"- traces the birth of the cocaine market.

"Daily Mess"(Religious Outrage)- A tour of tom's house...pray for him!!

"The KIng of Queen"-A NY man becomes a transexual.

"KIng of the Bill"- Tom stacks 9 months of bills in a corner and ignores them.

"Star Dreck"-Boring, frightful look at William Shatner's singing career.

"Sanford and Stun"- Fred zaps Grady with a tazer.

"Ompha Windfree"- Oprah plays the tuba with the help of bellows.

"Rogaine's Heros"- The hairless POWs order deli specials.

"The Stopping Network"- The only network devoted purely to the sale of pilfered
stop signs.

"MSNBC Instigates"-the network prods a confrontation between Paris Hilton and 
Nicole Richie, over who can claim the lowest IQ.

"Twilight Bone"-Forensic scientist Quit-zee is forced to work overtime at night.

"Married With Stillborns"- Al is delighted to be child-free, thus keeping all of his 

hope ya got 1 smile...

Details | Free verse | |

Cranberry Float (part2)I

time has no meaning here
all about is tidings and cheer
our team always win
and the wind keeps the kites high
the grass cut and green
the lake blue and serene
soccer moms and toddlers toddling
while dads encourage
at finale at last 
we run to to the square for a blast
we eat our burgers with cheese
and double malted shakes apease
but not for me the only thing that satisfies
is a cranbery float
whilst listening the juke box boom
and watching as everthing pulses in the room

Details | I do not know? | |

The Dangers of A Bored Poet

When poets get bored you should worry.
They may try to stir up some "fun".
I think it's the kick of excitement
they get when they see what they've done.

If it seems like it may be too quiet
they'll want to get feathers to fly.
Sometimes it is fun just to watch them
while they 'virtually' yell, scream or cry.

They all love the thrill of the drama
and of course need to have the last word.
We all know the one that is right
is whoever can use bigger words! 

I get nervous when things start to simmer
and peace is the only real sound.
Things can change in a matter of minutes
if there's more than one poet around. 

Details | Rhyme | |


Took my truck to Albany last week,
Lost my fan belts,had a flat on the street.
Went to New York,the big apple at last,
Crossed the toll bridge,they took my pass.
Went to Minnesota,clear to the end.
Can't find a load,you are laid over my friend.
Went to Louisiana,trying to get home you see,
Only to find out,I was bound for Milwakee.
I quit making plans now that I find,
When not making plans,I get great home time.

Details | Free verse | |

Footing Around

Tom Cruise what happened to you.
You were cool in Top Gun
We're watching Wilson's War
We doubt you've ever heard.

Details | Free verse | |

All or nothing.

            There I was as white as a sheet,
             the alcohol was working ,I could not feel my feet.
              The bus was out of the question, taxi too.
               Walking was the answer,if only I knew.
            The rain was splashing against my face,
            my glasses steamed up I  hurried my pace.
            M y head was buzzing,my stomach numb.
            Why oh why was I so dumb.
             I had only wanted a drink or two.
             My problem I cant say no.
             All or nothing,the only way to go.
             As i smoked the third cigarette,the effects were under way.
             My eyes were looking but not at you,
             I was a million miles away.
             The fourth drink was gone  number five to.
             All the way the only way I know..

               So here I am staggering alone.
              a couple more kilometers, and I will be home,
              as I look to cross the road, 
               all is clear over I go.
                Wait stop!:
                I look with eyes of dread,
                a v.w golf has hit my leg.
                 I look up give the o.k.
               then bells started ringing in my head.
              This road is one way.
              too late I say,he is off at least I am o.k.
              So here I am in the safety of home.
              I made it all alone
             I lay my weary head on the bed.

           All or nothing the only way to be.
           Once a year is enough for me.

Details | Free verse | |

Halo for Horns...Careful!

Careful! my halo for horns are showing
And watch how they disengage
Through lies and Action! drama
Thespians take your place 
By the thorns attached with roses
Smell my loyalty...I think my soul is rotting
Oops! careful my halo for horns are showing
It be best not to come on church ground
Unless that 15th collection plate has came around
Then I can get a new pair of fake breast
To match those false prophet alligator shoes,Ooops!
Careful my dear, my halo for horns are showing
Back in they go ready to mock and instigate the voices inside your head

Details | Free verse | |

Halloween Party?

I don't know where we all live, but if concievable, how about a Hallowen dress up
Party?  Kids, spouses, maybe s even music.  Maybe a prize for best constume. 
And some of my "schtick!"  Let me know

Details | Limerick | |


   Robin Hood once took a chance
   On teaching his merry men to dance
          He taught them to cha cha
          The young maidens went gaga
    To see the dashing thieves in tight pants

Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Zombies Conquer Rites of Passage

Samantha feels like spider kill --
horribly alive, but stuck.
Inside the  web
functional furniture
desperate office art.
No windows, so no seasons.
Thank God her mind took protective, evasive
measures long ago.
She's unbudgeable.
She's prehistoric!
And it's a beautiful day in the land of, "Sorry. 
 I'm just a temp."

Everybody --
The whole crew,
tries desperately, unsuccessfully
to ignore the tight, inflexible Agatha Snipe.
She absolutely,
refuses to dilate....
Thus, they are all dealing with a breech,
foot- first personality which has gone unchecked for years.
Sweet Jesus!
Samantha wishes fervently that Snipe would shut up!
But the Snipester stalks, steams and strides
through corridors and cubicles --
pressed, but still probing...
She is looking for her personal calendar
swearing it was on her desk yesterday...
Today... she is just swearing --a waste of breath for sure,
to ask the new girl....Amanda?
No!  That's right, Samantha.  Simple Samantha!

Samantha tries to keep
an unfortunately timed spasm of delight
from appearing on her face.
The calendar is excruciatingly visible,
marinatinag since early morning on the desk of Mr. Chase.
Snipe ponders and postulates.
She is losing it!
Time for new employment.
That should open up the door for that little tramp/temp.
Feeling comforted, superior, Snipe is...gone!

Maybe the Zombies go
about their quiet business
but not quite dead, yet,
don't you think?

Details | Light Poetry | |


There is nothing to worry about
Bills have all been paid!
Feel so happy I have to shout
I finally got it made!

Erasing my debt, he was so clever
The almighty says it’s ok
Benevolent and as generous as ever
The money had dwindled away 

God bless us all by removing our worry
We know you are here
God bless us all but father please hurry 
There has been greater fear

I told the landlord 
you took care of the rent
As you relayed it in my dream

He isn’t sure… 
you actually paid it 
And, he‘s about ready to scream 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Gothic Perfumer

The dear old heart had an infectious laugh.
He'd capture the hearts of many a fair
maiden with his Baroque style and charm.
Like the magician uncle in the Narnia
books he'd be mixing and brewing potions
till the wee hours of the morning.
Fine port,Ramstein + Greek music blaring 
from the stereo.
White fluffy dogs + white cat matched the
Maestro's own Riccoco coiffure.
His guest waiting list was as long as
the red logie carpet.
Admiring female fans would always try to
take  over his lab to sharpen it.
Till someone once said "Dear Sir would
you ever find the right partner and 
settle down?"
With a twinkle in his eye and a little
Smile he said "Of course!"and gave a
little Buddha bow.

Details | I do not know? | |

Where do we fit...

It seems that woman need to be something...
Us man...well where do we fit in...
By our self...are we  a stock to be looked into...
Like brains...looks...working capital...
How do they...look at us...
After all the love is gone...
You know...the crazy side of hooking up...
Does this have a starting time...
Are the woman under pressure...
Who are we...some trophy hunters dream...
The scarry thing is...what about us left overs...
Where do we fit in...
We're the ones who watch the others...
The ones we wished we were but we're glad we're not...
Don't  you worry we're still in the biggest fishing hole...
Waiting our turn to get caught...
Just like a catch and release...
We have our own brand of bait...
What ever that is...
We don't even know...
But the woman think they do...
Don't you...

Details | Pantoum | |

C-4 Care

Today, what the whole world need is a box of c 
To be delivered with such seriousness and care 
Keeping safe the heaven’s gate and its sacred key
It will give safety and pleasure for those who share 

To be delivered with such seriousness and care 
Assorted flavor of peach, cherry and strawberry 
It will give safety and pleasure for those who share 
Hmm, with aromas that can last for an hour or three 

Assorted flavor of peach, cherry and strawberry 
A thin rubber hat of baby pink and sweet cream 
Hmm, with aromas that can last for an hour or three 
Extracted, perfectly, from fresh fruits of my dream 

A thin rubber hat of baby pink and sweet cream 
Keeping safe the heaven’s gate and its sacred key 
Extracted, perfectly, from fresh fruits of my dream 
Today, what the whole world need is a box of c 

Details | ABC | |

My Dodge Aries K

This car is not exactly General Lee
If you look at it, you will turn away quickly
It can move when I get it started
I wonder why the previous owner of this car wanted to discard it
I get these teenage punks who ask me in a laughing manner, do you wanna race
I act like I can't hear and respond, New York City didn't make Pace
The a/c works very efficient in the winter time
I made my last payment, now she's all mine
As people stare, I yell go ahead, make my day
I take such pride in my Dodge Aries K
What was Chrysler thinking when they stopped production on such a 
My vinyl seats and no carpet, this car is made to repel fleas
I had to sign a waiver that I would not sue the seller if I contracted Lock Jaw
Or if the look of my car should cause a brawl
Come on honeys, check out what I have to offer these days
Experience some romance in the back seat of my Dodge Aries K
The homies said I should park it in a garage and try to hide her
They said this is the only car in history that could not be a Low Rider
The brothers tell me no way on twenty fours
They tell me drive it off a dock and hope it never washes up on shore
Even  the nerds have their smart ellecky things to say
They just don't understand my love for my Dodge Aries K

Details | Epic | |

Concise Colloquialism (Delaney)

Solitary ambiguity 
Acquiesce atonal souls; 
Surmount the transcendental arch 
Of passive farrowed prose;

For verbal discourse; 
Rectified, modernised; deposed;
Has ne’er sanctified our hearts; 
Our transcendental souls. 

Details | Romanticism | |


Goodbye to my native home,
To a place not free to roam,
The life that killed my worldly desire,
The land that lit my heart with golden fire.

The family I was unaware of,
The family that brought out my hiding love,
The family that have changed my life,
The family that took away my strife.

I keep their memory with in me,
And remember the precious times,
When me, my family and my home will never be apart,
In darkness the thought shines,
And it’s always close to my heart.
Thank you India

Details | Rhyme | |


Some are murders, some
 are thieves, and some are 
peasants don’t you see...

Murders, thieves, peasants, 
judges and juries…

Ravens are thieves, as 
you know, watch them they
 may even find a corpse…

Murders, thieves, peasants,
 judges, juries and Ravens…

They mean but one thing, 
a trial of sorts…

By Sandra Lea Hoban

Details | Senryu | |

Time Out

time out, my love
fire is everywhere…
our safety first

Details | I do not know? | |

Animals are my prime favorites, how about you?

I like cute dogs, poofy dogs, goofy dogs,

Wiggly Giggly Barking dogs, quiet dogs too,

Smart dogs, silly dogs, crazy dogs, lazy dogs,

Large agressive guarding dogs,

Those are just a few,

I enjoy helpful dogs, playful dogs, bashful dogs,

Hyperactive athlete dogs,

How about you?

How about birds, do you like birds?

Fat birds, slender birds,

Small flutery skittish birds,

Exotic birds too?

Long legged birds, short legged birds,

pink birds, white birds,

250 pound birds (just the ostrich, mind you...)

Feathery birds, Arctic Birds, 

Tropic Birds, Desert Birds, 

Rodent-eating raptor birds,

wait, I'm not through,

I know, you like bugs!

Dull bugs, colorful bugs,

Icky Creepy crawly bugs,

Biting bugs too,

Flying bugs, walking bugs,

Running bugs, jumping bugs,

Maggot-Bearing Bullimic Bugs,

Those are just a few,

Stinky bugs, Slimy bugs,

Aphid eating ladybugs,

Luminescent Phosphorescent Glowing bugs too!

I love them all 

Big and small,

Animals are off the wall,

But don't trip

Just be hip,

Dont be givin' me no lip,

Animals are here for a purpose,

They have prodigiously covered the earths surface,

They are what we see what we learn, what we love, what we hate,

Some can be oh so meddlesome, but they have been helpful as of late,

Helping us to plow our fields, sniff out crooks, give us food,

Fulfill other necessities, so please let us not be rude,

Lets give these critters their credit due,

To animals everywhere, we love you!!

(You may say "no", but trust me, you do..)

Details | Free verse | |

who needs a map

on one on-ramp, off another,
     getting lost is our fetish.
left turn instead of right, 
     makes the night go faster.
Who needs a map when you've got a full tank of gas!

four brand new tires on a gravel road,
     getting lost is our forte.
toll booths, 
     even more confusion.
Who needs a map when you've got a full tank of gas!

address of the restaurant,
     right exit wrong turn.
one way streets,
     we always need the other direction.
Who needs a map when you've got a full tank of gas!

first date jitters,
     two wrong turns made us miss the first two songs.
wedding night,
     never should have listened to drinking family members.

Getting lost is when we get along the best!!!

Details | Ballad | |

Your Body Can Break a Man's Bank

I look around and it is you I see 
A girl who is a stock market catastrophe 
You are a high risk investment that won't pay out 
You put on your makeup like bathroom grout 
I have no idea where you fall in the official rank 
But your body can break a man's bank 
So what you have changed the color of your hair 
Your personality is a car without it's spare 
Keep in mind, this is just me and my point of view 
You are that piece of meat spit out because it was too tough to chew 
You are the left over beer that wasn't drank 
But your body can break a man's bank 
Your face is like a painting that looks good from far away 
Men still flock around you to my dismay 
You are the results of an out of hand prank 
But your body can break a man's bank 
The perfume is not hiding the fact that you don't bathe 
That tells me it's not cuddle time you crave 
I give up, be straight with me 
You are from the gutter, but men treat you like the queen bee 
In a word game, your brain is the blank 
But your body can break a man's bank

Details | I do not know? | |

A Man's A Man Fer All Dat

When a man's on his own, he's just dat.
He's dis an he's dat … jus dis an dat …  an dat's dat.
But now let a good woman enter his life
Let a good woman become his sweet wife
Now he's inspired from dis and dat to this and that and more than that.

From seat left up to seat put down
To clothes picked up 'stead of lying around
From paper cups and plastic spoons
To silver and china with roses and moons
Yes, a good woman transforms his dis and dat to this and that and more than that.

She's a smiling light by which he sees
Yesterday's socks still below his knees.
Her delicate nose, bright eyes and charms
Reminds him to fumigate under his arms.
A man is a man fer all dat, but with a good woman life's this and that.

He wipes his feet as he comes in the door.
"Don't track that sawdust - not on MY floor!"
He hangs up his coat on the back of da chair.
Oh! That's right ... that's wrong ... it doesn't go there!
Well, he hangs it up somewhere, just where I forget
Not on the floor, 'cause the floor is all wet
From the mud on the boots which by the door should be set.
I’ll be getting that look again, that's a safe bet!
But instead she brings warmly a cup of hot tea
With smiles and kisses and m-m-m-m-m … biscotti.

I know there's a lot more dat a “THAT" man should do
Lots of rules about tea time and stuff called "foo-foo".
Yes, a man is a man for all that.
With sawdust and leaves on his old woolen hat,
On his own he's content as an ol’ alley cat, scruffy and scraggly as dis an dat.

But with a good woman like I'm blessed to call mine,
His life starts to mellow like aging fine wine.
His mind starts to think and his heart starts to care
For the spirit-filled treasure who's his lady fair.
So he opens her door, he puts down the seat,
He eats with a fork after cutting the meat.
With napkin in lap and armpits like cedar,
He thinks of his life and how much it is sweeter
Than when he was only and lonely and sad
And says, “Aye!  Dis new life ain’t really half bad!”

Details | I do not know? | |

Erin Moran and Stephanie Weir kicked my ###

(This is a fictional poem)

Last week I felt great fear.
I met Erin Moran and Stephanie Weir.
Erin starred in Happy Days and Stephanie starred in Mad TV.
They joined forces and beat the hell out of me.
They whooped me because I accidentally called them Stephanie Weird and Erin 
When they got through beating me, most of my teeth were gone.
That ticked me off so I slapped them and told them that they are witches who 
should be flying on brooms.
They attacked me again and sent me to the emergency room.
I'll never again be able to watch Happy Days or Mad TV.
If you ever meet Moran or Weir, watch what you say to them or you'll go to the 
hospital like me.

Details | I do not know? | |

Organic or Not...

Fields that flow into your space...
Does this move you...
What connection has been used...
Who are you...
Are you one with the organic...
You smell like a organic...
Adding fields around your space...
 Will this lead to the growth...
Organic or not ...
Man made...trouble...
And what laws are you following...
Nothing says you cannot grow...
A few might even tell you where...
What happens when your fields flow into
Can this controlled organic be stopped...
Who are you...
Are you me...
Simplify organic...

Details | Cowboy | |

What the Grumpy Old Cowboy Sez

Don’t worry ‘bout nightly news,
The shootin’, stealin’ and fuss—
Just sweat them big thangs in life—
The news they never tell us!

Don’t worry global warmin’—
Tip yer hats to the ladies—
This twelve below Wyomin’
Feels just like you’s in Hades!

Don’t sweat the world’s agoin’
To heck in a hand baskit—
‘Cause there won’t be no TV
Less it’s right in yer casket

Details | Alliteration | |

Cranbery Float (part3)

Can you feel the awe in the air
caressing all with it's range
catering to the joys of this earthly paradise
created in the mind of it's author
care free children frolicking to and fro
capturing the sun in a tall glass of juice to sweeten it more
cranbery floats are best on these days

Details | Free verse | |


Of many are poets in soup
gagged with the air we breathe
suffocated by the strings of hawks
perked by the long neck of an ostrich.

Drown in the murky water of obsequiousness
tied to the apron strings of what to chomp
turned juggler for survival instinct
danced to the tune of he that plays the piper.

Others' soup plunged them into soup
tongue-lashing the untouched of the land
louding the truth above the speaker of life
paying for the conviction in-built

But the poet is already in the pot
struggling to un-pot himself
fromthe fangs and thorns of the land
how long will he be potted still in the pot?

Details | Free verse | |

Great Photo Tag Show!!!

Taking photographs is really great
 Ideally this snapper has such taste
  Moved between Oakland and DC
   So that’s the way it’s gonna be 
    By diving into his poetic blog
     Will undo your writer’s clog
      Read his lines and you will find
       Every syllable is truly refined
        With words of hope for the soul
         Leaves the reader with stories untold
          Yes, William poetry also has zest 
           Now he is being put to the real test
            Hello my friend William Jones
             We are here to pick some bones
              You better raise the white flag
               Because you have just been tagged!

Comments:  Okay Bill, I was tagged by Carol Brown.  As a result, I have to pass 
the tag along.   Your name is on the top of the list.  Your poetry is just wonderful!  
Now, you must find a poet whose poetry you enjoy reading, and tag that poet with 
a poem.  Man, aren’t we having fun!  Chau!

Details | Burlesque | |

Bachelor Blues-or Bachelor Bliss?

I've earned 2 B.A.'s
One in college, long ago
One of more recent vintage
And it's of this one you ought to know

Understand, some bachelors like me
May not be what's called "normal",
as you will see

We sleep to noon
sometimes that's too soon,
No one to make us make our bed
No one mess around
With our testerone laced head

Housekeeping?  No one
to yell when we make a mess
No one, then, to care
And so far as that, I tell you now,
To us, that mess, it just ain't there!

Beer and cold pizza for breakfast
If we feel we want
Though this may be at 3
No nagging wife that us they''ll  haunt
And that means alot to me
But,  the top benefit
Regards us when we pee
Yes, best of all, this I do swear
Is we can leave the toilet seat standing up
And no one will really care.

Details | Senryu | |

Vain Vanity

flexes his biceps,

       tucks his flabby tummy in,

              vanity in vain.

Details | Limerick | |

[Billy once spoke of our approaching doom]

Billy once spoke of our approaching doom.
Revealed stitched-cross against bare groom.
But fear never chilled stiff steel handle.
Then he ranted silent scandal!
Now Billy talks little in him white padded room.

Details | Verse | |

Recalling the Recall

Civilly shivily,
Golden State voters said
they should have Arnold			
to lead them, you bet!

Hasta la vista Babe,
Big Terminator is
not finished yet.

Details | Burlesque | |


Rich people can afford to live lavishly,
squandenring money like it werent a commodity;
ordinary folks must make ends meet,
even worrying about the food they eat!

Wealth moguls like Trump or Gates
can purchase the Empire State Building,
and see their names in the Entrepreneur or Money magazine...
while we dispute those outrageous credit card rates!
Since Caesar imposed taxes on the Roman Empire,
freedom to spend,at will, has been reduced by desire;
now Uncle Sam is the new emperor demanding his tribute,
woe to us if we declared ourselves immune!  

Republicans and Democrats are divided on one issue:
the Iraq's war on terrorism and its credibility not so true;
while Bush's voice echoes throughout the White House' walls..
a President's courage shown in formidable ways!

The music and art world are giving in frivolity,
creating works that are insignificant and full of obscenity;
can the Human Race excel as it did yesterday...
who will step forward and stop all this insanity?

Living lavishly is only shared by the lucky ones 
who are defined by abundance and inheritance,
but living sparingly is based on sacrifice and endurance...  
learning those thrifty tactics and live within limits!

Details | I do not know? | |

Word Vomit

Some people in life suffer from an affliction,
Imaginary highbrows with an oratorical addiction,
These people seem healthy at first, the sickness under control,
But then the silence is broken as they begin to speak,
And this grammatical illness starts to take its toll,
Tempers are lost and stomachs become weak,
As heads start to pound and eyes begin to roll.  

I’ve been there he says, I’ve done that,
I can do that faster than you,
I’ve lived and learned far beyond my years,
Of course what I am saying is true!
I am a big thinker. I am what they call legit,
No I don’t know what non compus mentus is,
And I really don’t care if you think I have too much of it.

I am impressed with myself, Why am I not yet insane?
Since being around an opinion such as yours IN FACT,
Has caused MY train of thought to jump the track.
This conversation has definitely turned south,
Silence is the right thing to do,
Please be quiet! Close your mouth!
You’re getting your opinion all over my shoe.

Details | I do not know? | |

When good things happen to bad people.

When good things happen to bad people.
I wanna hit them the head.
When good things happen to bad people.
I'd rather be them instead.
I'd rather be them when things get sad.
Cuz I am good and they are bad.
I'd rather be them if I could.
Cuz I'd rather be bad and have it be good.

Details | Quatrain | |


It is not just a game
you don't play it for fun
it consumes all even your name
but don't be fooled this is no pun.

you sit there shooting
they try and shoot back
you continue your alluding
they die and then hit the sack.

you sit there in contempt
talking trash to all that was matched
thinking your that time was well spent
then all you see is yourself  unattached.

Details | I do not know? | |

Weekend Fun

Its a weekend for sure
Can tell by the revolving door,
First there are three children
Look again and theres five more.

Coming by the dozen
In and out all day,
Computer, playstation, cartoons
Something new they play.

Tattleing, whispering, screams
Im hungry some even shout,
Makes your day interesting
Got you always wondering about.

Finally the day fades quickly
Most of the kids gone away,
You quickly relax, prepair yourself
For tomorrows another busy day

Details | I do not know? | |

Heavenly Louche

As the essenes of 
Eden play lovely
quartets, a brief
interlude o' mine.

Oh. . . boisterous meadows
of entrancing enthralls
so fine.

As angels hearken
the harmonies of
our precious St. Uriel,

The whimsy's of 
bitter attempts 
for lovely laughing 
girls, made bitter

Oh, the Louche,
the heavenly Louche.

Its embrace 
of vigorous 
with little excuse.

So sorry,
so sorry,
here we are
oh mighty Zeus.

Falling from grace,
as pale a ghost
as the infinite

Oh!  The Louche,
the heavenly Louche.

Keeper of secrets,
ours and yours,
together we're found. . .

frequenting ,
the inviting,
narcotics lounge.

A testimony of 
love, why the essence
of St. Gabrielle,
you are,

you are.

As St. Uriel played
a ballad so fine,
I found myself
begging for more 

The Louche,
the heavenly Louche.

Details | Acrostic | |


Another Nobody
Needlessly needling me
Getting my goat
Enraging me
Resulting in Chaos!

Details | Ballad | |

Cruisin' With My Homies On Four Doughnuts

Love is not the answer to every issue out there 
There are choices brunettes, blondes or curly hair 
So we pile in my car to go check them out 
They look at us laugh and shout 
I'ts so obvious what's so funny, this really shows it 
Cruisin' with my homies on four doughnuts 
Three homies and I are burning some gas 
I am stressed, I just ran over some glass 
The tires stay firm, do not go flat 
You can't explain something like that 
Big Bertha asks for a ride, but with her weight, the car just won't hold it 
She will not be cruisin' with me and the homies on four doughnuts 
Stop at the store to get some brews 
Out of Colt 45 so the Bulls will have to do 
We catch a nice buzz, good enough to make me smile 
Fuel will be a concern in a few more miles 
After the beer, we combine our pocket change 
I payed for the beer and the gas, isn't that strange 
Girls can now be our main focus 
My tires are from a Ford, Chevy, Dodge and a Lotus 
It's always an adventure with me and the homies cruisin' on four doughnuts

Details | I do not know? | |


The bus is late and it is starting to rain, 
when the bus arrives, you’ll be sure to complain.
The schedule said it would be there at eight,
once again you are running real late.
You dial Customer service on your cellular phone,
there is no answer and you’re feeling alone.
All you want is to hear a live person,
you can’t get through and the rain starts to worsen. 
You take out your umbrella but it will not open,	
it is bent out of shape and the button is broken.
Every other bus number arrives at that stop,
It will take some time for your blood pressure to drop.
At this point, you are starting to get nervous,
You begin to wonder if the bus is in service.
You have been splashed by a number of cars,
at the end of this ordeal you’ll be behind bars!
The bus finally comes but you have waited a while,
The driver opens the door and greets you with a smile.
You shout at the driver, “Where the hell have you been?”
“I don’t particularly care for your stupid little grin!”
The driver said, “Sir I’m sorry for running behind
but the rush hour traffic has been quite a grind.”
You step on the bus all soaked and wet,
you want the driver to know that you’re really upset.
You curse out the driver and create quite a scene,
You start to act ignorant, belligerent and mean.
The police arrive promptly and escort you off the bus,
there are things about that morning you need to discuss.
The Officer asked the driver, “Why did this occur?”
he said, “I was late and he became a disgruntled passenger.”

Details | Cowboy | |

What Got Tom's Broke Back Broke

There ain’t never been much love ‘twixt them two out on the range—
Seems cowmen has always thought that them sheepherders were strange.

Then one day in rides a poke by the name of Tom Campbell—
What’s lookin’ for a job, if some outfit likes to gamble.

The foreman asked him straight out what is his experience—
He says he done some sheep herdin’ and he can mend a fence.

Well, that foreman was Bob Barkley – ‘bout tough a man there is—
He nods his head – says Jake will show him which remuda’s his.

Seems things went hunky-dory and there weren’t no call for lip—
Tom caught on fast, knew his stuff – but still smelt like ol’ sheep dip!

Then one night out of the blue, Tom tells us all he’s a Scot—
He’s proud of his heritage and the long blood line he’s got.

But it’s best some thing’s are left undone – they can make you wilt—
Yet what was Tom thinkin’ when next mornin’ he wore his kilt?!

They’s no prejudice in that bunch, but I sure confesses—
We ain’t too keen ‘bout them cowboys what likes to wear dresses!

Then big Bob Barkley - it seems he goes and blows a gasket—
And we is all sure Tom is headin’ for a pine casket!

“Manly cowpokes just don’t wear skirts!” Big Bob he yelled real vexed—
Then he kicked ol’ Tom’s tail bone from one mountain to the next!

Tom - he lived - though he limps from a break in his lower back—
But there sure enough is one certain thing that he does lack.

Tom done learned his lesson as he stares through the campfire smoke—
If something’s already fixed, don’t flaunt it or it’ll get broke!

And Barkley – he turned odd and wears Tom’s kilt like a scalped hide—
Sayin’ it’s how he keeps in touch with his feminine side!

Details | I do not know? | |

My Footsteps...

Sometimes as I lay in my bed, I hear sounds.

Sometimes it can be very loud and then it can be very low.

Just what it is, I don’t know?

Dad say’s it’s all in my head...

He says that I should not be scared.

Mom says it’s just this old house, just settle in.

Almost like when Grand daddy sits in his old chair.

I guess Mom and Dad could both be right? 

Maybe it’s just me and my fear of the night? 

Soon after they leave, I finally settle down.

When all of a sudden!

I hear a loud sound, Boom!

I sprang from my bed and ran down the stairs and what should I see?

It’s just our old dog Ralph and silly little me. 

Oh! What a relief... I’m so glad to see, it’s just Ralph and me...

I guess the only real noise I hear, are just the footsteps of me.

Details | Rhyme | |

Figure You Out

Figure You Out

How are you doing Beautiful

She said oh you just another man tryna Beat

I said how do you Figure

She replied cause you just like the rest of these random men on the Street

Naw my dear lady you think you have me all figured Out
But really I’d rather look at you from the inside and work my way Out
But im not your ordinary man so im not going to go that Route

She replied no matter what you say or do I still have you figured Out

If that’s the case then why does the look on your face seems as if you have Doubt
It seems you gave judgment before you even knew what I was About
But we’ll sit here together and I’ll help you figure me Out
Im about business baby not about those Games
An intellectual that can take your mind beyond its ordinary Frame
I know how to stimulate your body but I want to stimulate your Brain
We could be the total package but it has to be a two way Thang
Because without two connections its hard to Maintain

She replied it sounds good but what are you really Saying

I want to figure you out
What makes you happy what makes you Sad
I want to know the good with the Bad
Your likes and Dislikes
What makes you laugh what makes you Cry
Because I never want to be the one to bring  tears to your Eyes
It’s all about you not all about Me
I may not be a genie but one day I can be everything you wanted a man to Be
You can be my queen and I your King
And together one day we both can figure out this Love Thing
I’m telling only the truth no need to tell Lies
Cause an ordinary nigga wouldn’t see the beauty that lies deep Inside

I thought I had you figured out but you showed me a different side
But would you like some fries and shakes to be your other sides

Written By: Bruce Daniels

Details | Burlesque | |

Where'd You Fling My Bling?

Ring from a Cracker Jack box,
Neck chain made of twine,
Lapel pin of cardboard and paste,
See, my wealth I don't waste

So you threw it out, by mistake,
I'd hardly question why,
Easy enough to reproduce,
Cheap enough to buy.

Details | I do not know? | |


Rumors are known to cut like knives
Start fights and end lives
All becauce a hater despises
What they've seen through their beedy eyes
Foulness covered by flies
Unknown demise
A demons chest game played with real lives
He said, she said, with a little bit of what you've said
Leaves some one dead
All from words that got in to some body head
Rising situations like to much yeast in a small batch of bread
Scared of the out come so you flee in your mind
Revisit the drama another time
Things don't change
Words still inflecting pain like magic BING! BAM! BANG!
Another rumor rapes a name
Heated like hells flames
Jealousy indures creating a killer like the first murderer Kane
Names lay slain
Slandered by the foulist of mouths
Skeletons pulled from the closet to be placed in piles
Brains began to crowd
Smiles now frowns
Ups now downs
Like tears from a clown
Emotions burst out
People lash out against the innocent
Whom have nothing to do with it
The hater wins again

Details | Limerick | |

' Sweet, Little Man ... ' (Limerick # 3)

             ‘ Sweet, Little Man ’

There Was the Sweetest, Little Man, Named Nate
    Who was so Bald… He got a Headache
      From the Kisses, that were Planted
On His ( 2 Month-Old Head )… He Demanded …
“Why Won’t Mama, Put A Cap On My Pate ?

Details | Acrostic | |

Zipper(ly) Yours

Zipper or zip, just fasten it, right and tight
In order to keep, purple souls, out of sight
Play safe, for Robin or Barbie, not to peek
People might start snapping unwanted pic
Every time you go outside you need to zip 
Rush not, for, no damn will give you a tip
Let it go or let it not, you, must be careful
You sure don’t want, to be seen, as a fool

You are free, from the intelligence spooks
Of their silent laughs and suspicious looks 
Unless, you’re a carefree, of rhyming eyes
Robin and Barbie might end in a dear fight
Saving them…just fasten it, right and tight

Details | Burlesque | |

Noisy Neighbor

chocolate covered nut,
was my neighbor
and crazy as a loon
banged on his pots and pans
each night
while howling at the moon

disturb me once more, I thought
and I will teach you well
with noise so horrific
you'd rather be in h_ll!

he did not heed my warning,
and howled on night and day
so I set my alarm for 3AM
sure I'd get my say

I pointed mighty amplifiers
out my windows old
I opened up said windows,
I did not fear the cold

so it's noise you want? I muttered
so angry and so sick,
pushed down my organ's "on" button,
and gladly heard it click

now my mighty organ would rumble
with sounds so awful you would run
discordant notes I blasted
volume pedal pushed  full gun

the roar was long and frightful
my own ears began to bleed,
but I'd teach this momma mucker
what he must surely need

so my windows, they did shatter
as did his and others' too
but I kept my keys depressed
I even used a shoe

now a sound this bad, I understand
can waken up the dead
so sure enough I rumbled on
pain swelling in my head

and there among the mists of night,
a thing most to dread
so eerie- scary and more
appeared the ghost
of my long lost love
my most beautiful Lenore

she did not look so pleased
and in her hand she held
a pot to brain my noggin',
until from it silence was finally bled

I gasped, I chocked, I whimpered
frightened out of my very wits
and if you checked my underwear
you surely would find ____z

so i stopped, and she was gone
my neighbor still banging gong, gong, gong!
only now when he does this
I smile and join along
I sit and howl, and drivel
banging gong, gong, gong, gong, gong!!!

Details | Rhyme | |

Amnesia (Mixed Rhyme)

Love, you know I yelled at this lady;
Not that I envied her slim body,
But ‘cos she claimed, you as her buddy;
She asked me if your name is Teddy;
Her son said: please, return my daddy.

So, I ask you: Is there something I should know?
Just be honest, and I’ll not start a fight;
Gee, I’ve no idea of this lady you saw; 
Have not you guarded the bird very tight!? 

Then, why was she looking for you? 
All I ask myself is why;
She’s cold stare; as I passed by,
She said, you and her, is this true? 

Oh please, stop it, honey! It’s just in your mind, 
Those silly things that I never even thought; 
Thou my heart is such a rhymer, still, I’m thine; 
And you really think, by her, I will be caught?

Maybe, she’s not in her good head;
But, her son looks like you, she said; 
Enough, here you go again; 
You know, your nagging makes me sick! 
Outraged, she hit him with a stick;
He laughed at her, with disdain.

Insulted by his deeds, she pushed…and pushed him;
And he fell, banging his head against a beam;
This caused him to see dancing stars in a gleam.

Shook his head….and walks to the door,
Leaving her, sobbing, on the floor.

Love, where are you going? She asked.
He looked back and said with voice, hushed. 

I’m going to my wife and son.
She screamed: No, no…you are my man!

You? Never met, my name’s Teddy.

And, you are not my slim lady.

Details | ABC | |

Eugene (

I am self proclaimed real swinger
My name however, for a Nerd is a dead ringer
I have perfected the War Craft game
On Micro Soft computer applications, I can put anyone to shame
I am not into testosterone things such as fuel injectors
Secretly for Christmas I want a pocket protector
For every movie my name is in, I steal the scene
It is my parents I owe for the burdensome name of Eugene
Other bad names for example one is Clarance
He said he was named after his Grandpappy, what an inheritance
As for as it goes, I should be thankful for my health
I am so grateful for not being named Ralph
When I was growing up, there was a kid I know
He hated his named Ralph so much, he insisted on being called Ditto
I always make sure my handkerchiefs are always clean
Welcome to my real world of Eugene
There was one Nerd who rivaled my Nerdy world
Did I do that? Famous words of  Erkel
Yes I do wear a wrist watch calculator
I carry a pocket sized stapler
Girls who share my interests are far and few in between
Will any female ever see the masculinity beneath the skin of Eugene

Details | Bio | |

The Mighty Gors!

surely the name was far more scary,
than ever we would be,
this puddy-footing gang
that included me

oh we looked kind'a scary
in our regalia absurd
but if you did challenge us,
in our pants, you'd likely find a turd

black leather, denim cut offs
chains and iron crosses wild
we hid behind this persona
because really we were quite mild

but that was then, and now is now
though I still sometimes think,
and wonder how,
we survived in a wild world
we did not understand,
and even thought, 
we were pretty grand.

Details | I do not know? | |


I am a man
I have three speeds
Fast, medium, and slow
Fast is great
Medium is fine
Slow is undesirable
and broken

Details | Senryu | |


flash of pearly smile,

       but a tinge of nicotine

              oh, can still be seen.

Details | Rhyme | |

Your Four Tires

You have made me so very fierce, 
So your car tires, I now will pierce; 

To find you car then, yes I must
Tire by tire, my knife to thrust; 

With an ice pick, should I swing, 
From your tires, be some air leaking; 

They may even give a 'hissssss', 
All four tires, I will not miss; 

Loudly can the tire blast, 
Loss of air will be so fast; 

A loud 'pop' might be the sound, 
Quick, your rims will hit the ground; 

And each tire I give a blow, 
Will make the sound of air letting go; 

May even give 'em a second slice, 
Cause you'll be paying the replacement price; 

Them four tires, I can so easily stick, 
And you won't catch me, I'll do it quick; 

It's your four tires that I plan to poke, 
And I want you to know this is no joke.

Details | Burlesque | |

You Say You're Gay

So you declare you're gay,
At first I knew not what to say...
Than I saw it clearly,
The wisdom that you had,
Far better to be gay,
Than so God darn awful sad.

Details | Narrative | |


I was shaving in the dark
hoping not to leave a mark
when I heard a voice outside of me 
Say, “hark!”

I first thought “odd remark!”
as naked I lay, stark
inside my bathtub,
shaving in the dark

“On a task you must embark”
continued the voice which first said, “Hark”
“We need you to go right now
to Central Park”

I then thought, “what a lark!”
& felt my curiosity spark – 
I decided then and there
to go ahead and hark

I wasn’t sure what harking was,
but I was game to try,
& doing what any good harkee does,
I tossed my razor by,
got quickly, slippery, out of the tub
and grabbed my towel to dry

But the harking voice said, 
“Wait a minute,
we do not want you dressed;
we want your body
and all your senses
by spring-eve winds caressed;
you must go down
to Central Park
(no one’s there, it is quite dark)
and stand before us naked,
and know that you
are truly, ever blessed”

“Okay,” said I,
“I’ll try.”


Stepping lightly through the dark,
I headed off to Central Park
& quickly reached my given destination

(On the way I passed a shark –
swear to God, I heard it bark –
or was that noise my own imagination?)

Now here I stand,
a naked man
& wonder what I’m doing

I obeyed a demand—
no, make that command,
& now that action I am ruing

For to tell the truth,
I feel quite uncouth
standing naked for the viewing

Of one & all,
both short & tall
(Dear Lord I hope I’m snoozing --

Then this would be
a fantasy,
from which I’ll wake refreshed
to find it all 
within my mind
‘cuz I’d gone to sleep undressed)

Details | Free verse | |

I am Pet(e), 10

Hey, I am Pet(e).

I am happy, 
…to be 10 years old 
and really obedient,
yes, obedient
though naughty, 
yet still I am Pet(e), the 
loving member 

of the family, 
just like Man(dy);
so please, don’t sass
and throw me not 

the circle, if 
I am no longer, as you feel, 
cute to you,
‘cos I am not your accessory!

Details | Burlesque | |

Real Men Don't Need Directions...

That's right...
The masculine species,
So endowed with great wisdom,
Knows everything by nature,
the world should be called "His-Dom"

Need directions?  Don't be silly,
We know where we are,
Well, sort'a, we just fool you gals,
And act Willy-Nilly

Assemble that item?
No problem at all....
No instructions needed,
You've got some gall

I'm so good at the assembly,
That when I am done,
I've got lots of left-over parts,
It's nothing but fun...

No need for you, to explain anything to me,
I'm a master of wisdom,
And it's easy to see...

Why we are so superior,
To Everything, and Everyone,
You need fast results,
We'll quickly get it done

There's only one thing,
That could bring any doubt,
When arguing with females,
They always win out

Details | I do not know? | |

Road Rage

I board my little metal box early in the dawn,
Adjust my seat, fix my mirror, turn the stereo on,
I love the drive, I live for the day,
And I am generally  accepting,
Of all those little experiences,
 Life shares with me along the way.

Check my mirrors, watch my speed,
Keep that safe distance that all drivers need,
Tense up my neck, stare into the next car,
Give people intense looks from near, and from afar.
All of the sudden, something within me jumps out,
Did I just curse, did I actually shout?

I’m only going from here to there, just a simple commute,
But there is a collective static that I cannot dispute,
As I glance at the other drivers, with that protruding vein,
From all of the anger, stress, and strain.
They all look like the angry guy in my mirror,
That is staring them right back again.

Break checking, tail gating, horns blowing,
And all of those one fingered salutes,
That my fellow drivers are showing.
Have I lost my mind? Is the traffic beginning to slow?,
Did I just call that little old lady,
A bloated warthog for not staying with the flow?

I finally reached my destination and my patience is gone,
My nerves shot, my anger boiling over, as the day wears on.
Why Oh why do I love to drive,
When just getting there wrecks my day?
I cant point the finger and blame others for my anger,
When I reacted in exactly the same way.

There is a solution to this though, 
There is more than one way out,
There is a way to have a good day to this you may score,
Have others drive so you can talk,
Leave earlier and walk,
And of course, that is what a bus route is for.

Details | Couplet | |

Another Tacky Break-Up

"I like you, but not like you think that I do
So let's just be friends - is that all right with you?
And please give me back all the gifts that I gave
and by any chance, did all of the wrapping you save?
Cause, now that we're "friends", I'm sure you'll agree
I should regift them all for my new love to see.
She's awfully picky, so please don't you bring
all the words that I said when I gave you that ring-
I was drunk.  I was sick.  I was on my death bed
and quite nearly insane, if not out of my head
So please just get lost, and I don't mean that mean,
but my new love is sure to arrive on the scene
So just send back the gifts, (you don't mind the expense)
It's the least you could do - for one of your friends..."

Details | I do not know? | |

Getting Somewhere (2005)

No more buses no more trains
No more freezing and waiting in the snow and rain
The blazing sun used to melt my face
Having your own car is having your own space
No more sitting next to Mr pong
Finally getting somewhere lets hope its lasts long 

Details | I do not know? | |

Two Cats and a Man

Two cats are singing midst the rain,
"Meow, mara, meow!" at the side of the train.
"Shut UP, now!" shouts a man in vain.
"Meow, but it's cold, and I'm wetting my mane!"

"If you are quiet, or restrain
I will fetch you some string; in fact, make it a skein."
"Is not for game that we're now fain."
"Then I'll warm you some cream, if your cries will just wane."

Those words then make the silence reign,
So he leaves and comes back with a dish made in Spain.
He puts the dish on their terrain,
And the cats lap the cream... Then start meowing again!
"What's this, you promised to abstain!"
"We promised to wane not to stop our campaign."
"That was a bad, dirty chicane!"
"Don't you see that it's water that's causing our bane?
Try off'ring something less inane."

"Please, all that noise that is pounding my brain
Will make me soon go quite insane.
Should I turn against you and make use of my cane?"
"Are you threat'ning us with some pain?"
"Unless both at this time of your racket refrain..."

Both cats think that it is quite plain;
They must shush, or then risk ending up with a sprain.

Cats and men will often complain
That they're told to do things that they just can't attain;
But once they're forced, all ascertain
They can do a lot more than they could entertain.

Details | I do not know? | |

Fake haters conversation

Hey y whats up girl did you see what happened to z
No what happened because i heard that d the wino knocked her up you know the 
one with a glass eye
no girl i didn't hear that one but thats not the one i'm talking about. she went and 
got this entire plastic surgery done and now she looks like the clown from the 
movie  from "It". Plus all of that plastic makes her smell like a wet dog.
Yo girl s stupid the she tripped over a cordless phone. Not only that she wears 
fake teeth.
Yo i'm telling you that i can't stand her. Next time i see her we are going to fight
Well here is your chance because here she comes and remember that I got your 
back girl
 hey z girl whats up? you know every time i see you your style is always of the 
hook. And your hair is always looking fly Right y
Right you look so natural and that perfume that you wear is hot. It fits you real 
good. You look really nice too

Details | Blank verse | |


Wash my metal skin and keep me clean,
The car is my body..the ideal shape to be in,
Look after me , I'm your mean machine.
The engine is my heart,hoses and pipes
Are the veins and arteries to my heart.
The wheels are my feet,headlights my eyes.
I can feel,see and feed on water and gas.
Sometimes early in the mornings ,
It may be too cold for me to jump start.
I purr when I'm happy,growl when I'm angry
Glide ,pounce and creep along in traffic jams.
I am the car,your chariot always by your side.
Horsepower,I am your horse from Medieval days.
Loyal and devoted I have carried you like a 
Baby on my back , near or far.
Like an aeroplane, we fly together,forever.
Come ,feel safe and warm inside me while  
outside it is raining.
I shall protect you ,while the wind is howling...
And always be by your side.
My little pearl,I'll be your wheels of liberation,
I give you Independence to come and go,
And freedom for solitude and peace of mind.
I am your car, you are inside me.

Toot-a-looot! Pay attention, I'm coming through!

Details | Lyric | |


its a dam shame 
to be this fine
the judge told me
I gotta do the time
so i went to the studio
to spit sum lines
I stayed up late
from 1 to 9
im not gay
I dont go that way
I dont mind being friends
but I dont go that way
I got fellaz shook
when i write hot hooks
im doin it big
I even wrote my own book

Details | I do not know? | |

Big Black Lie

As time drug on, as it always does at stop lights, 
a longhaired rustic man banged on my window.
I thought he looked homeless with his long scruffy beard, 
but he really drove the bus parked right next to me. 

Hesitantly cracking a sliver in the window
just to make his voice audible, I heard him say,
“Hey Lady, a huge snake just crawled in the front of your truck.”
I sneered and told him he was crazy. 

As I sat there pondering over the logic to a snake 
crawling into a vehicle in the middle of the city,
I gained more confidence that I had nothing to fear.
Of course I called Animal Control just to be safe.

I sat in the parking lot as my vehicle was inspected, 
expecting to prove the bum wrong. I found out real quickly
that mangled and wrapped tightly around the engine
was a five-foot pregnant black snake.

Two days later I saw the driver of that bus
parked near the front of my school.
As I smiled and waved with thanks
he just shook his head in disgust and looked away.


Details | Free verse | |

Full of It

“Why, thank you.” I would respond,
For what it is,
What is it?
It’s what life is comprised of,
I’m full of it,
Full of myself,
My stunning, intelligent, creative, 
Cocky in words and thoughts,
I know I am full of it.

Details | I do not know? | |

Starless Night: The Art Of Giving (Rhyme Incorporated) part 3

That night, vibrant Effie Blake told me “You Don’t Have To Be A Star”
To see the beauty of this world or meet Troy Nelson, of the “Dead Star”
Ahh!!! My voice need to be heard, that I wrote “To You, Mr. Apolinar” 
It’s about quest of heart and mind, of being simply “Me And The Moon”
Stressed Michele Nold had a simple request, “Where is the Bath Room”
I didn’t entertain her, for I felt dizzy coming out from “The Lost Room”

Then, I overheard grin-faced Oshin Ifedayo saying, “She’s gone at Last”
Who’s who? The “Christians, Muslims, Jews…” “Heaven Waits For Us”
A place of peace, where we can write a sonnet, of being “Home, At Last” 

So, you can tag or be tagged, in our “Starless Night: The Art Of Giving”
I agreed, with Vince Suzadail Jr., that giving’s more of a “Human Being” 
Tammy Armstrong liked the ambience, but said, “Something’s Missing”

Some didn’t come; they’re busy surfing, ‘cos “The Deep Blue Is Rough”
Historian Charles Fuller sent them a note, “I Hear You In A Photograph”
Now, I see why dear Tatiyana Carney has “Lock Box And Photographs” 

Note: I tag the first person who read this….and the last one, too.
Thanks to K.S. for encouraging me to play
And also, to C.B., for the e-mails…love the message/photos.

Details | Burlesque | |


Me, me, Geonimo...
Don't know what way...
White man go...

Smoke'em signals...
Smoke'em pipe....
You run us off,
You kill squaw wife,

Steal our land,
Kill great Buffalo for fun,
We gott'em little chance,
Arrow against gun

Some day we get
Revenge real good,
Mak'em casino
In our hood....

You los'em shirt,
You los'em wife,
You los'em bet
Who win in this life.

Details | Rhyme | |

What Took You So Long-? (Mixed Rhyme)

You mastered the art of my father;
He treats you like his younger brother,
Side by side, so happy together
Sailing with you, stead, of his daughter;
You caught big fish, for my sweet mother.

She always welcomes you with her holy kiss;
I’m in charge to cook your favorite dish,
Whilst you and father drinking ouzo, at ease;
‘Cos of you, I forgot to serve the fish---

From the sweat and blood of these men, 
Bound by a brotherly kiss;
Yet, I never have a peace
Of mind, so ere you leave again

I promised myself, you’ll be mine, only mine; 
God, forgive me, I planned to commit a sin, 
Of kissing my father’s friend that my heart’s bind; 
I just don’t want to send this man to the bin. 

Hence, when father was not around, 
I grabbed…kissed him, without a sound; 
He blushed, by my own surprise; 
And, his manly breath intertwined  
With mine; his eyes’ shine, 
And my heart no longer cries. 

Gosh, how sweet ‘twas, his lips; and, ‘cos of the heat
We did not hear my own father’s teasing psst… 
Too late to untangle our lips; we did it, 

The kissing, even when father’s around
From no where, he came without any sound;

He chided us not, for he wanted him 
To be with me, till his last days go dim.

He’s spoken over-used words:  “I love you!”
In a hushed voice, I said, “I love you, too!”

What took you so long…to say you love me?

Don’t you know, in waiting, how hard to be?

Details | I do not know? | |


Every law he ever saw,     
He broke.                              
Every rule they ever made,
He treated as a joke.
From criminal to civil code,
No matter where he went,
He seemed to think that every code
Was made for him to circumvent.
He perjured and extorted,
And contorted legal facts.
And, just to spite the IRS,
He cheated on his income tax.
Ordinances were his to break,
At every whim and notion.          
He even did his best to break
Sir Isaac Newton's laws of motion.         
Contempt, he showed for every rule,
By laughing in its face.             
He broke the law of gravity,
And vanished into outer space.

Details | Dramatic monologue | |

A Companion

I am not a ball, after you’ve played 
You just leave it somewhere on the ground, 
Rolling to rest on its self.

I am not a food, 
Or a Chinese aperitif, when ever 
You don’t like, you leave it, untouched.

Neither, I am not worn clothing
When you need it, then it’s the only time 
You remember it to wash.

I am your companion, day and night;
You caressed me, when you felt sad. I missed your touch;
O, do I have to bring your slipper now?

I gave you comfort, when you were down;
I’m really not an envious being, but
I hate your silent treatment, it makes me sick.

This is happening, every time you sit in solitude
A lousy pen, between your white teeth; and
You, in deep thought.

Why do you’ve to slave yourself, thinking?
Thinking of something outside your world;
I am here, your faithful one.

Always will be here, for you;
Even if you come home late, I recognize you;
Your manly smell lingers in my skin.

Before, we used to stroll together;
We played happily, lately, not so often

Gee, how selfish I am, I shouldn’t be asking you this;
I must understand, you are an aspiring poet; indeed
You needed time to be on your own, to write.

But if, you need me, 
Just call my name, and
I’m ready and willing to serve you.

Thou, I’ve one favor for today, let’s play our favorite, 
Throw the stick wherever you want, Master 
And I’ll bring it back to you, with gladness.

Details | Rhyme | |

Never Kiss A Rat

Never kiss a rat
For it will make you flop 
And will go away like rats
Throw it to a cat
Surely, will play and you’re on top
And won’t leave you like nuts

Details | Rhyme | |

Closer to a Grillionaire

There is a man who made a cool  Mill'..          

    all because of a Foreman Grill.     

Now, I hear through the grape-vine air      

this man is closer to a Grillionaire !

Details | Iambic Pentameter | |


She told me once I was to old, not within her reach
my opinion to all that,she was to young to teach.
 She taunted from behind a fence of which she could not see
 She was far to filled up with Herself, she really wasn't free.
The girl was far to busy performing in an act
She played the non conformist, in a play called "the abstract"
 Not to say She couldn't be much more than that
 but she was just a youngster, on that level she was at.
It's true I've lived a long time, yet I was as young as She
only I would never let myself, be where I'm not free.
 when she throws Her head back and it's completion that She needs
 She might see that age don't matter none, it's whats inside you see.

Details | Rhyme | |

The love that flows

Am I ugly to you?
Or am I too nice?
Do I talk too much?
Or just another, like a grain of rice?

Or on the otherhand...
Do you like me?
Wish you could just come out and say...
"Your smile fills my heart with glee"?

So which is it?
Can't say?
Is life that hard?
Or are you saving for a better day?

Oh well, we'll never know.
But baby you could make my day.
Who knows it could be what I've waited for...
but we'll never know, Wait, got somethin' to say???

Details | Tail-rhyme | |

Dangling Contemplation

what's a necktie dangling for?
    too stiff, too thin to be a scarf,
        a bib, or an apron,
too smooth to be a hankie,
    too short to be a suicide noose
        to contemplate on;

psychologists say it's a boy
    scouts knot-tying hang-up
        and status symbol,
but to folks doing laundry,
    it's just a collar-tightener,
        pure and simple;

designers say it's a grooming
    enhancer used to express
        a fashion statement,
but to butchers, it's an appendix
    for which they harbor no
        kind sentiment;

though unschooled in sartorial
    elegance, viewing the necktie
        as just a dangling thing,
a butcher like me secretly longs for
    a chance to wear one and look
          like a boardroom king.

Details | Free verse | |

Humoring me part 1

Oh muffin they say
suck it up princess
not knowing I'm a drama queen
they tell me happily 
Life isnt fair

Gag me with a spoon already
look at your sense of humor i get attacked with
at dirst caked with love
and then if i protest a fetish
and not interested in having
some weirdo have his way with me
the comedians i want to see go belly up
break a leg and go on
and i pray for the curtain to fall
and the sweat beads
then pour
and the tears
of rage and anger
and confusion 
will later fall from my face 
with a sad realisation

Here it is funny man
witness your joke
I'm actually dressed up in suicide
I'm actually on antipsychotics and antidepressants that aren't working
and that ledge you think is funny for me to be on
your pushing me off of
sarcastic loud slow laugh in youre face
its not funny unless you meatphorically draw blood
and someone hysterically ends up in tyhe emergency room
its not amusing unless your better than me
even if behind close doors you admit to all sorts of insanity
and thats the sad reason I've spent thousands of salty teras with my head in my 
saying god is cruel

Details | Ballad | |

Bootycyze Me

You've got it going on, you're packin' the heat 
in your trunk is a sweet, sweet treat 
As you walk on by, the boys break their necks 
With your shake, rattle and roll, you've passed my test 
Is your mother like you, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree 
Give me few moments of your time Bootycyze Me 
Let's take a stroll in the park sometime 
You walk ahead, I'll walk behind 
Tell me profile, give me your 4-1-1 
Let's get together, you have the equipment for fun 
You have a enough backside, you can share with me 
Up close or at a distance, I like what I see 
Give me a few moments of your time, Bootycyze Me 
You are smokin', so red hot 
All the girls ask what she got that I ain't got 
A word to the old, a word to the wise 
You will know it when you've been Bootycyzed 
Cassanova, Prince Charming and Don Juan, I am all three 
Give me a few moments of your time, Bootycyze Me 

Details | Light Poetry | |


I am Jones.
And I write poems.
I work in my garden.
And sail my boat.

On the waters of the moat.
Windmills all around.
And canals too.
Ideal place for me and you.

Yes I'm getting on, and old.
Don't do what I am told.
I play cards and chess.
Can you guess? I cheat to win.
It's not a sin.
If done with a grin.

I am the friend of every one.
I have lived here so long.
When I go. I hope they say.
Goodbye to the English man.

Details | Burlesque | |

My Last Match

down to one
how shall I use?
light a cig?
or fire for warmth?
well, I don't smoke,
and it's summer, and hot
so what do I do with...
this marvelous wonder I got?

don't answer too quickly,
cause I know what you'd say
I'm not gonna shove it,
in such a place that may,
not need it's warmth,
not need it's light...
but surely there...
it'd be out of sight!!

Details | Lyric | |

Starbucks Sucks

What’s so grand?
It’s just another trend
And unlike every other friend,
I refuse to give in
Oh, okay, so it’s gourmet
I don’t care what you call it
I refuse to allow them
to sit here and rape my wallet
Why does a tall look so small?
There’s nothing grand about it at all
Starbucks simply sucks

Details | Rhyme | |

Upon the Fairest Boughs..

A fair brother the youngest of siblings  due to be wed
For his bride, a young  virgin , pure , blue eyed and fair ,
Prepares her white wedding gown to walk down the isle , 
Decides for the occasion to dye her hair fair hair black.
My lady , my Queen, I pray , take my hand with delight.
Today you are my bride, tomorrow you shall be my wife.
Oh most noble sir arise  now kiss and bond this treaty 
After the ceremony , the guests gathered and feasted
Speeches and toasts ,trembling lips kissed her pale hand
My eye shall not rove , take my heart and love me sweetly
Her rosy lips and cheeks promised by thee to forever stand.
Weeping and let out a cry cupid hath stung her inner thigh.
What strange effect the nature of love has on the passions.
Fair princess, I promise thee, wedlock shall suit thee well.

Details | I do not know? | |

Starless Night: The Art Of Giving (Rhyme Incorporated) part 1

I was reading Michelle MacDonald’s superb piece of art “Sea Shanty”
Secretly, under the haiku master Katherine Stella’s “Yum Yum Tree”
When smiling Carol Brown, invited me to her grand “Surprise Party”

The charming lady of the soup was no longer feeling bad or “Sideline”
After mending herself, thru helpful John Boak’s “Like The Best Wine”
I am not sure, if, playful Julie Bristow told her, the miracle of “Divine”

Thank God! Doret Cope sighed; she didn’t suffer from a “Stolen Love”
She enjoyed the work of Dawn Drickman’s “The Tiger And The Dove”
She is a good person, that I told her my secret, of having “Other Love”

At the party, Keith Bickerstaffe, without her luckless maid “Ophelia”
Was talking to Sir William Robinson, the great man behind “Mahalia”
I guessed she asked him why I wrote “O God, The Rat Has A Phobia”

Dancing flawlessly, to the nostalgic tune of Jeffrey Lee’s “Music”
Was my haiku mentor, she’s mesmerized by Mahalia’s “Light Magic”
But co-host, a certain Adam Piper was caught trapped, at “The Attic”

I did surprise all, even William Robinson, “When I Stop And Pray”
I interrupted my recitation, of own favorite “Cast Your Doubts Away”
‘Cos, I rather break my pen, but not a promise: “And To Thee, I Pray”

Epulaeryu chef Joseph Spence Sr. who “Makes The World Go Round”
Was explaining, his cooking, to sweet Elaine George, but “Spellbound”
By the strong romantic power, of yellow “Dried Rose On The Ground”

That got humble Daria Stone confused, of feeling “Unlocked, Not Free”
A beauteous Deborah Simpson smiled and asked him: “Sequester Me”
Joyful Karen O’Leary said, the handsome chef, will “Travel With Me”

Details | Free verse | |

25 Short Steps

O, it is only 25 short steps, 
For you to take your feet, 
To reach the blue bell.

Don’t turn away from your path,
Nor have you looked back, son;
Go straight ahead. Just there.

There at the majestic blue bell, 
We all will be meeting you,
To listen to its divine sound.

O come on, do not be nervous,
What you’re going to do is simple;
Walk, listen. Then say: yes, I do.

That’s all; can you do that, son? 
Yes, I can do these 25 short steps,
Thou, I’m really nervous. I sweat.
But, knowing your loaded shotgun,
Pointing at my back scares me a lot, 
Than taking your princess to a vow.

Details | Burlesque | |

The American Drive-Thru Life

we have a fairly unique society
we're masters of energy conservation
and I don't mean of oil or electricity...
I mean bodily efforts, we waste no more
than we absolutely have to,
and that's no folklore...

we drive thru every aspect of life,
to get a burger, or wed a wife...
if a car ahead is moving too slow,
with our horns we let them know

they're slowin'  down the American dream,
at a pace that makes us scream...
"come'on, G_d D_mn it,
move that piece of Sh_t!!"

it's a pay and pick-up world,
the fast track American lifestyle,
I doubt other societies would understand it,
unless they lived here for a while

our cell phones are ever at our ears
our money is now but plastic,
we still have a bunch of scary fears,
but it's such a stretch, it seems elastic,

we worry about how long it takes
to live our life our way
if you can cut it down real quick,
you'd keep waiting time at bay..

right, or wrong, I do not judge
cause I'm so busy here
at the Carvel drive-thru window,
impatiently waitin' for my fudge!

Details | Free verse | |


I left a climate control area
Not even air-conditioned just fans Mon
When eye got outside it was hot Mon
Eye placed my shades my sunglasses on mon
Now im cool mon 
It’s not meant to replace sweat Mon
Or Chinese food
It’s cool to be cool Mon
Even for a little
Even for a Mon 
Its hot Mon
It’s cool

Details | Free verse | |

Poor Fish And Raison Pie

Poor Fish and raison pie came my way one day. 
Sometimes my poor fish don`t go away 
so quickly as eye try to make them 
slide into my belly to fill my hungry want. 
I found an ice cream melted raison pie. 
I could NOT eat it all. 
Sometimes I have so many blessings, 
I wonder iff there is any left in Heaven. 
Poor Shrim:Pe and fish and old potatoes. 
Some Jalepnoes and then some more peppers. 
Popcorn for later, to make me feel much better. 
There is always room for more. 
I could NOT eat it all. 
I left some raison pie unfinished. 
There will always be some more poor fish 
and raison pie.

Details | Free verse | |

Time for Equality

Alright you guys, just listen up, it's time for me to vent.
The day has come to recognize, somehow we must repent.
For centuries now, we've acted as, we are much better than,
our counterparts the girls and gals or a.k.a. WOMAN!
They wash our clothes, they cook our food, keep clean things round the house, yet still somehow we all believe that we're the supreme spouse.
Baloney, that's a bunch of crap, it's time to tell them all, 
so get up off you're your BIG fat butt, and turn off that football.
Admit to them, for once for all, as hard as that may seem,
equalitys' found a brand new day, a day they should redeem.
Their dignity, their pride, their trust and all that we've assumed,
that once was our's to have and keep, self-righteously entombed.
They brought our children to this world, and labored major pain,
while we felt slighted .... 'er lack of sex, how dare they do abstain?
They truly are our equals now, so guy's let's all admit, 
they always have been all along, because of gender split.
Just stop and think, what would you do, if all of them weren't here?
Imagine living Man to Man... My God, Good Grief, .... Oh Dear !!!!!!!!

Details | Free verse | |

The Noonday Orator

In a Sunday wintry air
The pigeons, the sparrows 
And the mocking birds 

Without array 
Congregated themselves 
Outside the family house
Listening, intently 
To the noonday oration 
Of Her Majesty, the Queen

Whilst I, I quickly picked
The various colors and shapes 
Of myself, my dignity

Shortly thereafter
She, fumingly, dropped them off
Through the guiltless window     

Details | Free verse | |

Voodoo Economics

I turn on the TV
lay my head back
and watch an economist
presenting a business report
he sounds more like a wizard
casting a spell with magical names
like Hang Seng, NIKKEI
Dow and NASDAQ

in a mad induced trance
investors gamble their savings
chasing after an illusive dream
of rags to riches, riches to power
then abracadabra like voodoo magic
one company merges with another
forming a faceless conglomerate
with a strange Orwellian name

in a surrealist nightmare
of unrestrained power and greed
the wizards of alchemy work their magic
but quicksilver remedies and snake oil
cannot stop the suffering of millions
who are doomed to live in a world
ruled by the lingering forces
of voodoo economics

* Penned by
Scarecrow Joe

Details | Rhyme | |

Where's the Money?

Where’s the money I often say,
for the stack of bills I have to pay.

Work all day and through the night,
only to receive a paycheck that is light. 

Blood, sweat, and countless tears,
as the money quickly disappears.

Unfortunately there is never enough,
Which makes times quite tough.

Seems those who will lie and cheat in a flash,
have a never ending supply of cash.

But I strive to be a God fearing man,
living as clean and honest as I can.

So I wonder what I have to do,
or what must I go through.

Will I ever be able to get ahead,
before I am too old or even dead.

Never will I be a millionaire,
But God knows my every need and care.

Although where’s the money is what I say,
I know the answer is to fervently pray.

Details | Burlesque | |

Dartboard Dummy

Mr. Dartboard Dummy,
Oh, yes, that be me...
Hung the dartboard on the room's door,
One that opened out,
Toss a dart, when someone enters,
You will hear a shout!!
We never even thought of it,
And tossed our darts real hard...
Luckily our dummy luck held up,
Or we'd be handing out  a new 
funeral card..
That's just a small example
of the stupidity,
That comes to me so naturally,
Like the Christmas sign
we'd hung for years,
In our living room....
10 years later we bothered
to read it,
"Season's Greenthings" it
did declare.....
Yeah, I'm dumb as spit!

Or the time I had to pee
real bad,
But my cousin was in the tub,
Brilliant Tom Bell had a
great solution,
Just pee out the house's rear door,
And I was smirking with my wisdom,
Till I realized I did ignore...

Our next door neighbor's lawn chaise,
Her sunning as I peed,
She was watching me in amazement...
Oh, what a dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb creed!

I can only imagine all the
Brain dead things I never
was aware I was guilty of,
As I was doing them publicly....
But I wouldn't leave the house for three
weeks after that....
Something no one could possibly help not miss...
And only behind locked, darkened
bathroom doors,
Would I there after piss!

Details | I do not know? | |

You and me

I don't know you,
You don't know me.
We don't know each other,
But this is how it's gonna be.

You need a woman,
I need a man.
So lets just get together,
I'll be your biggest fan.

If you rock with me.
I'll roll with you.
Tell me what you want,
And I'll show you what I can do.

Details | Rhyme | |

Designer and Surgeon

Is it possible to ever attain
a truly objective evaluation?

     A beachwear fashion designer
     and a post-mortem surgeon,
     sitting as judges at a beauty
     pageant swimsuit competition,

     may share some convergences,
     depending on their imagination,
     but their views shall widely differ
     due to training and profession.

     One may gush over much money
     cascading from sales of lingeries,
     the other thinks about the health
     of intestines and throbbing arteries.

Objective evaluation, possible
in the oglers' rapt attention ?

Details | Senryu | |

Not Thru Pregnancy

not thru pregnancy,
even without ecstacy, still
their numbers increase...

Details | Senryu | |

I Never Dreamt This...

I never dreamt this…
naked ladies ere my eyes
what shall I do now?

Details | Senryu | |


                                     devour lasagna

                                            like voracious piranha

                                                  no more man`ana

Details | Rhyme | |

Preening Snob

          once again, with an air of 
            smug self-satisfaction,
          he flaunts his wealth and 
                   social position,

            boasting a lot about his 
                 alleged pedigree,
        traceable, he says, to some 
                    distant royalty;

      with what he thinks is sartorial
  he prances around in a snobbish 

            as atop his superbly 
                  groomed hair,
         dances a couple of lice, 
                  a creepy pair;

   I neither laugh nor make a face
                      at a face,
         but I make an exception 
                   in his case !

Details | Free verse | |


There will always be haters as long as your doing good
They want what you got that's why they always talking
I learned something today that I should've already known
I learned that I should never let a hater rip apart my soul
I must stay strong against these haters and let them see
that the reason why their hating is cause they can't get like me
Watching my every move whispering about everything I do
Man can't a girl just live without you watching me like pay per view? 
Sometimes having these haters around can be a draining ordeals
Sometimes I let it get to me to the point where I feel myself breaking
But I know that I can't lose to them. It's there choose if they can't forget me
I feel honored that I get mentioned in so many sentences 
I must really be popping for you to be non stop mentioning me
Do you see how I look? I know you wish you could be me 
But the reality is that you can't is that why you choose to hate on me?

Details | Ballad | |

Rollin' In My Pacer

My girl dumped me, she couldn't hack it 
She said it was her or my fake leather jacket 
We were together for 30 days 
This jacket has cozied up to six Shaneyneys 
Judy is my next target, so now I will have to chase her 
I am the Mac Daddy rollin' in my Pacer 
Camielle comes along and tempts my fate 
Judy is now off the slate 
Women need to use more self control 
I am too much, I am hard to hold 
Tomorrow there will be another one in line 
I will not mess with her if she looks like the bride of Frankenstein 
My dad is stressed, he's really working his pacemaker 
I take him to the hospital, he's riding shotgun in my Pacer 
The hospital will keep him over night 
I buy some Mad dog 20/20, it's time to get tight 
I am called the next day to pick him up 
I tell him no ride, if you don't have a lid for that cup 
I get pulled over for a sobriety test 
The cop tells me I don't look my best 
He makes me walk the long straight line 
Then count forwards and backwards between 1 and 9 
He tells me my car is so ugly, he's got to shoot me with his tazer 
After the jolt I am allowed to leave steady rollin' in my Pacer

Details | Burlesque | |


Thirty street urchins, faces dirty....
Thirty outstretched hands....
With thirty tin cups,
With thirty over-active glands,
Looking like thirty sad faced pups...
All thirty pounding at my door
All thirty begging, "Please, sir, more!"
That's what I get, as I hand out
Thirty dimes,
For reading David Copperfield
Thirty times!

Details | Narrative | |

Too Much To Do

Take a shower, and wash my hair,
now shave my legs, careful there.
paint my toe nails, and finger nails too,
moisturize everything, still got an hour or two.
brush my teeth, and whiten them too,
while deciding the outfit, I wish I had something
Now do my makeup, and style my hair,
pick out my shoes, which ones do I wear.
Spray on some perfume, now not to much,
keep it simple, barely a touch.
I think I'm ready for my night on the town,
but if you want the truth, I had really, rather
be wearing my favorite nightgown.

Details | Free verse | |

Computor Hack Hack Hack

Computor Hack Hack Hack 
Kluge he cried,  Elegant she cried. 
Arguments go on for ever in the ether of the web. 
Hackers lament they own designs, 
never having time to necessary rhyme 
words of imperfections. 
The cubicle of mine is next to the water fountain. 
The cubicle of hers is near her bathroom. 
The only hacking that we do. 
Is in the early mourning light. 
Chatting from my Kluge trying not to fight. 
The argument gets out of hand. 
Elegant is how she puts it. 
My Kluge is in my hand . 
HacK  HacK  HacK  all day. 
The worm must turn again on all the channels. 
My Kluge has  got to be more important than your elegant. 
How can we be free of all of that. 
HacK HacK HacK. 

Details | Narrative | |



A narrative poem in the charlax stYle 

Benjamine: he hath an oder oh mye qyeen 


Qyeen: yes he smells just like my camels butt 


Benjamine: eye meanteth 

He has a poet in toe 


Qyeen: eye have a blister in toe it is on my left foot 


Benjamine: the poet in TOW is the bard 


Qyeen: a splinter from a board why are you so hard today to understandeth 


Benjamine: he brings the bard in tow to proselytize to readeth prose and poetry 


Qyeen: why would he carry the board that the splinter came from to show me his 
toe would sufficeth 


Benjamine: confusion reigns today 


Qyeen: He is my Asian cousine. 

Details | I do not know? | |


What are MEN?
Are they woman’s only sin?
They twist you around their finger and make you linger.
You say never again, victim of MEN.
We just can’t win.
Go away!
I wished they would make up their minds, all the mind games they play.
Is their any way!
We love them just the same.
MEN are so lame they barie us in their own shame saying we are to blame,
Can’t live with them.
Can’t live without them.
Someday some one will write a book on understanding MEN, with any luck.
Until then MEN totally SUCK!

Details | ABC | |


I was standing on the corner, in a place I've never been;
the merchants of enticement, were inviting to come in.
The ladies on the corner; were hoping there will be;
A chance to make some dollars, from any man they see.
The bums up in the alley, were trying to lose the're minds
While swaying to the motions of intoxicating wine.
Hanging in a group, were guys all dressed in black;
It appeared that they were hoodlums, who lived across the tracks.
A grungy down beat rhythm, was blaring from the bars;
The signs outside were claiming, that the girls inside were stars.
Coming down the street and looking out of place;
Was a man inside a Bently, with a cigar stuck in his face.
All at once I heard it, a fight had just broke out,
Knives and guns were flashing and some girl began to shout.
Oh my god they shot him (she said; I think my baby's dead;
I didn't see what happened but he was bleeding from the head.
People from the bars, were hanging out the doors;
And the bums up in the alley, started running for the store.
The guys all dressed in black were frozen in a stance;
And then they started hopping, like in some kind of dance.
The ladies of the night, were trying to make a plan;
They were trying to find a way to get, wallet from the man.
I turned and started walking, away from all the fuss;
I walked a couple blocks and then I caught a bus.
It happened up on Broadway, on the night of New Years Eve;
In the town of San Francisco, the city by the sea.
I was twenty one and looking for some action;
It was more than I had bargained for, in fact it sent me packing.
The next time that I went there, I had myself a gun;
And some fellows from the posse, but all we had was fun.
There were other things that happened,other times that I was there;
And I might write about it, if I see that any care.
So if you liked the story and care to read some more;
Be sure to write and say so, I'll pull my notes out of the drawer. 

Details | Rhyme | |

Rolex Heirloom

                             Back when I was
        just among the company's rank and file,
                     my 'rolex oyster perpetual'
             stirred a collective, smirking smile;

                               they said I was
         a phony or a victim of some shady deal,
                    but jewelers would swear
              this heirloom from dad  was real.

                              I sold the oyster,
     made lucky investments, became the boss;
                                for fun, I wear 
      a cheap, ersatz rolex, but now I'm at a loss;

                           why, in boardrooms
   or in hallways, it's my watch they closely watch
                               with admiration
            and envy, like it's a fabulous catch!

Details | Burlesque | |

I Want One Too!!!

like a spoiled, petulant child
I'll wail whenever I want!
'cause I ain't got the stuff
so many others seem to flaunt

no Mercedes, plasma screens
big bank accounts, and more
no $2000 suits, alligator shoes,
that's one thing I never wore

so I suppose I'd be better off
if my vision was not so good
then I'd never really notice
the rich ones in my "hood"

Details | Rhyme | |


Two armpits
Everyone has
Tub, sink or shower
In need of baths
In need of protection
Roll, glide or spray
Wash and deodor
Every day

Details | Cowboy | |

What Makes a Cowboy Spit

There are dude’s questions in this world
That gives a cowboy a fit—
Like why is he missin’ digits?
Or what makes a cowboy spit!?

And there are those tender subjects
He just don’t care for a whit—
Those dern aggravatin’ questions
He just don’t care for a bit!

Like why is it you’re bow-legged?
And why’s your horse got a bit?
And why do cowboys smell that way—
It makes him want to just quit!

Why do cowboys wear those high heels?
And do they all have true grit?
Dern! It gets a feller riled up—
It just makes him want to … spit!

But those days are all forgiven—
And our throats we have not slit—
We’re workin’ now for a dude ranch
And it’s the dudes turn to spit! 

Details | Rhyme | |

Singles Bar

\In the singles bar, the music was blaring,
The flashing lights sweeping and glaring,
Middle age men, whose pants were flaring,
Business suits, with manners overbearing,
Bespectacled man in the corner just staring,
The fat man on the couch who is despairing,
Talk all about what women are not wearing,
The lady’s low cut dress, her chest declaring,
The tall temptress, the men she’s ensnaring,  
When the drink gets hold, they all start pairing,
When they wake up whose bed are they sharing?

Details | Free verse | |

Mystic Knights of the Sea

does anyone remember
the significance of
these words?

I'll give you just a hint...
look to the early fifties
when the king of all the fish
had conniving his favorite dish

Details | I do not know? | |

Traveler of deeds (2005)

You’ve been more places in a day I’ve been in a year
Dirty thing yet rewarding and keep me clear
Been in too many people’s hands 
Wrap you in tissue, bags or bands
A friend to accompany you in the department store
But when you’re gone I don’t know when you’re back for sure
It takes one of you to cause a fight between 10
Are you guessing what am I then?
A gypsy, a trouble maker and the bread and butter
Too much of you and people stutter
A travel with deeds and cause good and greed
You coat everything in honey
You are money

Details | Rhyme | |

Ruffled Feathers

birds of the same feather
   don't always flock together;
     while most prefer safety in numbers,
       a few just want to be hermits on towers;
         there are others which opt to flap farther
            where the wingspan room is much wider;
         among them, too, are anti-social loners,
       and a noisy bunch of social climbers;
     most of the birds that flock together,
  especially during fair weather,
are not of the same feather!

Details | Rhyme | |


Smile a while and give your face a break.A smile is contagious show those pretty 
white teeth today.

A smile is like a ray of sunshine. Forget your situation and just smile a while.Go 
ahead and relax the muscles in your face.Smile a while and give that stone cold 
face a break...

Smile  a while get rid of  some tension and stress. You face is begging for a rest. 
Smile a while and give your face a break.

Details | Rhyme | |


The charisma of his car eclipsed ambition,
By a margin that defined his wife's contempt,
It became a precursor to superstition,
That he'd lose some race from which he was exempt.

As his ego baulked at masculine pretentions,
While his Missus cringed at alcohol-free beer,
The addiction of his sixty-four abstentions,
Were the prison-wall-marks chronicling his years.

He had dreamt mis-matching figures prior to midnight,
But retirement loomed resplendant as his soul,
And some whisper that a risk gives birth to insight,
Made him seek expanded knowledge as a whole.

The excessive engine ate acceleration,
Like an orphan who'd forever ask for more,
But pathetic was his brief emancipation;
When he hit a bus, at only sixty-four.

Details | Free verse | |

Forgetful Poe(t)

If you don’t want to speak, 
Why did you call me!?
You’re disturbing me, honey
You know, I’m really busy;
I’ve a poem to finish, about us.

Ok, come to my place, 
If you want;
By the time you be here,
Surely, I’m done with my writings.

Speak, O speak to me now,
I can’t let this poem go…
Fluttering to an unknown grave.

So serious, you are?
As if I’ve done something wrong,
What’s up honey, bad mood?

No, nothing, O my dear Poe(t); 
I just waited for you, for hours.

You’ve forgotten our date!

E. A. Poe, I wanted to be, someday, like him 
a great poet/writer, but...I doubt it, 'cos I am a 
"Forgetful Poe(t)!  

Details | Free verse | |

For Sale

Driving my car
On a road, filled with Kamikaze
Is too much pain. Sure, I’m not at par
For they own the road
Besides, they rule
I’ve driven a lot, countless trips
To and fro from work, over and over again
At this moment, it’s has become worst
Maybe, I’ll obey my aging brain, use my feet
Or ride the bus the next time. More safety 

Who wants to buy my car?
I accept credit, but right now, I really need cash

Details | Burlesque | |

My Neighbors

I complain a lot, I admit
well, maybe I have reason to,
at least at times
let me recap
my summation of life 
in this trailer park

redneck w pick up in plaid
(to my left)
to my right-the
parking lot pervert
to the north
exactly outside 
my only bedroom window
immediately to the right
of my head in bed
Community Meetings!!
they rarely start
before midnight
they discourse
on important subjects-
their val-pak coupons
save 20 cents!!!
and hold up
the line for 20 minutes!

or the stange handyman-
really a nice guy I guess
but always lookin for money...
and he sort'a looks
like a cross between
igor and Freddy
"Hambone" is his name
you ain't gonna find
any "Hambones"
in NYC,
that I can promise you...
yet I'd be lost without him
just get a bit annoyed when
he takes on chores sometimes
that were not
discussed with me-
and wants money
when I rarely keep
much home
(or anywhere else, for that matter)
and the mail!!
mail truck's arrival
bigger event everyday
then if Santa Claus
should land with deer
and sleigh

Oh, I'll just can it,
before I get carried away
(by the men in the whits coats?)
so enjoy your urban blues
and this country gentleman
will prevail