You played your pipe for me to dance,
as puppet master, worked the strings,
but today my heart will pirouette;
I am giving back the gold nose ring.
Last night I saw just how it is
Between yourself and naive me;
you are the wolf, I am the lamb
always destroyed in repartee.
You think I cannot live alone
without your condescending reign;
you won't hear Arrivederci play,
I won't come back to Rome again.
This love train has left the station;
It is speeding down "don't look back track."
Goodbye to disappointing love;
I'm moving on to be exact.
September 6, 2014
I do believe in magic
I so believe in peace
I believe you know undoubtedly
Of beauties and of beasts
The human spirit can withstand
And rise above the shrine
Belittle all you want, my dear
I’ll be the dwarf in time
But I’ll evolve as I hold dear
These sentiments that haunt you
I’ll cherish every single tear
Because you’ve plagued me to
I’ll turn the other rosy cheek
Though undeserved it may be
I will forgive, but won’t forget
The promised growth inspired in me
Further more, I wish to say
Remind me that I’m still alive
Disturb the sleeping monsters
Please provoke me to survive
You compliment this hypocrite
Attention seeking scum
And help stick out the finger
That outranks the sorest thumb
i took the nails, and the cat too.
the hammer, the sink and the bed.
i burned them all. except the cat.
cos she loved me much more than the one i wed.
The welfare poem is not for you
and not enough for anyone.
The welfare poem is very small
and not just given to everyone.
It's not enough to read for long.
It's just a little short.
It's not paid much attention to
and not the longing sort.
With thanks there's those who'll get it.
Those of who deserve it.
It's just some stolen words,
though I would soon forget it.
It's filled with much disgrace.
Those wary as they read.
It may be meant for you
if you accept the need.
I hope you have enjoyed it.
I'll cut you off for now.
But if you want more later
just beg there's more somehow.
A fleeting still small voice tries to warn me
A sudden overwhelming desire to run
The tell tale taste of metallic flakes
Means my nightmare has begun
Everything around takes on a ghostly pallor
A landscape of anguish and corrosion
A moment of silence before the violence
The flash of light, the brilliant explosion
The sound of the Sun fills my ears
Fear, my throat, though none escapes me
And paralyzed I clench my eyes
As my tormentor prepares to rape me
And it's endeavor is absolute
Consumption is its ultimate goal
It exists to chase me so it can erase me
Whilst feasting on my soul
And then that familiar salty smell
The sudden rush of warmth so stings
Engaging me relentlessly
In vile unspeakable things
Over and over and over again
My limbs stretched and wrought
As it's teeth tear my bones bare
It's mind defiles my thoughts
And still wounds beget wounds beget wounds
As in the mouth of madness I suffer
And with every injury he just seems to be
Rougher and rougher and rougher
Then just as suddenly as it began it ceases
And for a moment I am clearer
And then the true horror of it all
Is revealed in a darkly lit mirror
There in front of me stands my destroyer
Face flush with it's fill of my pain
And I find that it's eyes and mine
My God, they’re one in the same
I've heard the music a smile secretly sings
And the sudden thunder a teardrop brings
No beginning or ending round a golden wedding ring
Together love and time keep on turning
It takes but one breath to keep on living
When your dreams and sorrows become the same thing
Empty eyes open there for the forgiving
Then memories invade, night becomes morning
Like the ring we wear, no beginning or end
We search to see where this journey shall send
Apart we are halfed neither night or day
Where nothing can grow, shall it be that way?
My father had been out of work for way too long.
At night, I often heard him and mom weep
Food was scant, but love was strong.
As was that hunger pain when I lay to sleep.
My little brother was too young to understand.
Still a babe in arms, he brought our only smiles.
I loved to play with him and hold his tiny hand.
It seemed to take away the hurt from life trials.
Then, one-day dad came home all excited.
He was talking so fast, grinning from ear to ear.
He said that our future was well fated.
That we were in for adventure was clear.
It was that new ocean liner, the Titanic.
Dad had been hired for the maiden voyage.
We were going along as his sidekick.
A family destined for American homage.
In just five days we boarded that ship.
Immigrating was a dream come true.
Accommodations would be a hardship.
But it was worth opportunities…new.
Dad worked as a scullion in the restaurant.
We were housed on the lower deck.
It was a very crowded lodgment.
We stayed together until the shipwreck.
Sirens were screeching people screaming.
We could not find dad anywhere.
Was he locked up as a cageling?
Could it be true; was he trapped down there?
Lifeboats were being lowered.
Mom held my brother, crying.
Dad must be somewhere cloistered.
We all feared a dreadful dying.
Someone put me in a lifeboat.
I reached for mom as it descended.
The Titanic was still afloat.
But my family separated.
The water was freezing.
I had forgotten my coat.
People crying, sniffling, and sneezing.
The lifeboat soon became an iceboat.
Within a few hours, death began.
Shivering, I crawled beneath two corpses.
A young girl destined to live without her clan.
Hidden from polar breezes.
That was the last time I saw my mother.
My mind holds the image clearly.
She, calling for dad, was cuddling brother.
Oh, how I loved my family dearly.
When rescuers finally arrived.
I was the only one alive in the lifeboat.
Beneath those bodies, I survived.
Then, I was wrapped in a warm coat.
I never did see America.
I was sent to an orphanage back home.
Life had dealt a great trauma.
Forever had sunken in the ocean's foam.
© April 9, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: My heart will go on and on.... Free Poetry
Sponsor Tracie ~*~ Indigo Dreamweaver
Darkness is killing my will to fight
The way to climb beyond my scope
Searching for a ray of light
In an oasis called hope
Feel like a stranger in my house
Drying inward from the edge
Climbing like a spider
Got stuck in my own web
The clouds in the sky
Add to my tears
The balloons in my hand
Do not bring me cheers
Nothing to push me down from here
I can only jump without fear
I break the balloons, I dare the rain
I splash in my web full of my tears
Here I come, you can push me away
I will find my way to dodge you away
Not everytime can I go astray
A day will come I will find my way
In the darkening room I stood:
tears welling in my eyes:
by the windowed-wall, looking out,
my small chest full of sighs.
Headlights bright white and tail lights red,
paired, meandered down the street,
yet the white headlights that I sought
seemed only to retreat.
Cold, calm, singular, tear drops fell,
soon reaching down turned lips;
as in the house across the street,
the living room was lit.
A Father held his baby high.
He hugged that toddler tight.
I wiped the corner of my eye,
and gazed into the night.
Above the darkened woodland near,
beneath a cobalt sky;
the highway brought their Fathers home.
alone again stood I.
Horns blared out in drives near by
sweet laughter filled the air,
and, in the drive across the street,
their Fathers did appear.
The children ran out slamming doors,
on small unshodden feet,
with tiny squeals, and upturned cheeks,
their Father they did greet.
Where was the father who I sought
our lives incomplete
a traveling man, my Father
did nothing but retreat.
*A memory from when I was 8.
Hidden from the world
Holding angels ransom
With ivory inked thighs
Legs swallowing purity
Prying pink eyes
With sin studded threats
With pierced pirouettes
Leering from afar
Come out of the corner
My jaded sultry star
Why can't she learn to do that right?
You'd think that she'd know better.
Someone should tell her what to do,
To hone her each endeaver.
What is he doing over there?
He should be over here.
He should be told where he belongs,
And make it very clear.
She never does as she is told,
Although I've tried and tried;
What she should do and how and when,
I took it all in stride.
I spoke to her, I spoke to them,
To bring her back in line;
But she is stubborn, wants her way,
But she will learn in time,
That I am right and she is wrong,
I'll teach her that I know,
Much more about her work than she,
I'll tell her where to go.
It seems my help and good advice,
Is just ignored and spurned.
I only want the best for all,
The best for all concerned.
I guess my help's unwanted,
But if 'twere put to test,
They all would see that I am right,
And my way is the best.
No matter where you go or what you do you're going to find some people in the world who think they know more about eveything than anyone else and they will do their best to force their opinion on everyone they come in contact with. Th ebest way to handle someone like this is to give them a wide berth. Stay aloof but friendly in a distant sort of way. However, don't hesitate to let them know you cannot and will not be bulllied because this type of person capitalizes on your weakness. Whenever they start something with you it's important to make sure everyone knows exactly what was said and done when it happens so you don't end up looking the fool instead of them. When they find out that instead of keeping quiet you will fight back using their own methods against them they will back off and leave you alone.
Once again, the powers that must
In rise again in what we trust
An overseas conflict, another war
Just what in the hell are we fighting for
Families are asking, Korea has just passed
Generations again reft, how long will it last
A country in need, to rebuild again
Flags at half mast, in wind and rain strain
Once again into war, sent by the Washington Post
To send back reports to hit home the most
Military observers were the first to be sent in
Another chapter of man entering existing sin
I'm witnessing our ariel power, Lam Son 719
US planners determine their incursion, saying all will be fine
Along the Mekong River, we'll carpet bomb their supply trail
Tons of munitions and napalm, this spread surely cannot fail
Many sorties are being flown, for the wounded and the dead
Whilst Nixon and his cronies, aren't thinking with their heads
The news of losses has reached me, nineteen have been killed
Eleven missing, fifty nine wounded, more American blood spilled
Seven fixed wing aircraft, more sons in action loss
Whilst back at home more protests, fading the dyeing's gloss
To to this job that I do, I was never prepared for this
To witness such bloody scenes, and ignore that life is bliss
How can I write about a soldier, whose name I'll never know
Killed at nineteen years old, his family he'll never see grow
Or even explain to his parents, when carried from the AH-1
His body bullet riddled and limp, when lifted it bloodily run
I never went back to the theatre, called the Vietnam War
Having witnessed the wanton killing, what were we fighting for
This colonial conflict that started, us on the side of France
So many came back as strangers, many to live in trance
James Fraser's entry into the contest " WORLD OF WAR: VIETNAM "
Life happens when you're busy,
Making other plans,
And things are often side tracked,
By circumstantial demands.
When you least expect it,
And sometimes when you do,
Life throws you a curve ball,
And some folks sit and stew.
They fuss and cuss and grumble,
Stomp their feet and call out names,
When it's just life in one big bundle,
And there's no one to blame.
Stuff happens, that's the way it is,
Grow up and face the facts.
Learn to face it like a man,
Stop putting on an act,
Like everything should be just fine,
Should be a bed of roses,
Well every rose bush has some thorns,
As well as blossoms for our noses.
Life justisn't perfect.
It's just not meant to be.
It's not your fault and it's not mine.
There's no use blaming me.
Relax and learn to smile at life.
Just take it as it comes.
You really have no other choice.
You might as well have fun.
Learn to laugh at life, Chill Out,
You'll come out better in the trade,
If when life hands you some lemons,
You'll make some lemonade.
You'll live a whole lot longer,
And maybe keep your wife,
If you stop your griping,
And accept that that's just life.
I do not recall
The bravado with which I spoke
The titillating prose
Seduction’s prelude to a poke
You spoke of love
with a lust that I understand
your heart a bloom
your derriere met my hand
I pulled you closed
my eyes nearly met yours
your bosom winked
thank God I wore drawers
Do you not see
that my passions are pure
a burning in my loins
for which water has no cure
We gazed upon the heavens
I wrapped her in the moonlight
I looked at the time
my prayers faded into night
We danced till dawn
I had answered her romantic call
I whispered sweet somethings
Before her foot procured my fall
A poor Pegasus dreams
Of soaring freely in the sky
And to graze on the mountains
With her friends, she would fly.
She awakes with a stutter
Each and every day of her life
Hoping to soar free
As each dream becomes a lie.
She gallops through the meadow
As she tries to take flight
But she falls every time
Wings like a withered kite.
When duty comes and calls
Her friends soar off the cliff
The the poor Pegasus cries
For she shares no part of the myth.
Her hoof's thunder away
As she gallops with all her might
Her wings try one last time
Only to fall out of sight
Each day she weeps alone
As her friend leaps and sings
For poor Pegasus can never fly
With her withered, broken wings.
there once was a time of simple pleasures
like hop-scotch, marbles and electric trains
hop-scotch turnd into scotch on the rocks
when i got drunk enough to realize what adulthood ordains
childhood led to my becoming a hood
i held a lot of adoration for adolescence
my youth was an era of hopes and dreams
and faith formed of fact was at its essence
stealing kisses in the kitchen became blatant thievery
i played spin the bottle until i spun out of control
jumping rope landed me at the end of my rope
and sin seeped deep into my soul
I recall when nursery rhymes first became rhetoric
And when reality dashed the dreams to which I once clung
Now, at sixty four, I have only one regret
And that is the fact that I didn’t die young
© 2012 copyright PHREEPOETREE…..~free cee!~
grant me grace
this ghost of faith
burn the edge
of my desire
numb the burn
red of fire
my dullest friend
let me wake
and sleep again
blur my fate
bring me low
dream no more
search not of
look not for
dreams will float
a lake of sin
oh life unsure
a quiet cure
yes I thought
more in youth
now a lie
your will is mine
space of time
bring me forth
Does everybody feel the same as I do?
Lost? Adrift? Disconnected? Confused?
Does anyone know how to ease the hurt of truth
For the accuser, as well as the accused?
I've heard there's bliss
Found somewhere in ignorance
For those who have been stripped
Of their already fleeting innocence
So I continue to move through this life
Practiced smile, that doesn't quite reach my eyes
Which instead reflect the emptiness
That fills me up inside
It hurts to feel so alone and uncertain
Consumed by doubt and fear
Eventually life becomes a burden
Damaged beyond all repair
The temptation to numb all sensation
It more powerful than one might believe
I'll sacrifice the pleasure, to relieve the devastation
As passion gives way to apathy
Say whatever you want
About those who dwell on the past
Go ahead and judge me from your moral soapbox
While you cower behind your mask
The opinions of most matter very little to me
It won't be taken to heart as you intend it to be
First you'd have to practice the words you preach
If you ever do then I promise I'll start listening
The rain outside my door
Its talk, a calming effect
Upon my restless spirit, implores
the need to reflect.
The rain, drenching the moors
Its pounding upon rocky crests
Like the clapping of hands, soars
Upon the senses, dissolving stress.
The rain inviting me outdoors
Its plead to leave the comfort of concepts
Exchanging the warmth of safe indoors
For the dramatic cold of clarity, intercepts.
The rain, cleansing a downpour
Its relentlessness stripping the walls erected
Around the damaged heart, explores
Upon new possibilities, wider directed.
The rain, beckoning a force
Its puddles upon my feet impress
With childlike laughter, a dance extorts
Revving the spirit, the genuine soul expressed.
copyright © 02.06.10
FOOLED AND OVERRULED
I chose never to believe in nevermore
Forever I wanted to believe in forevermore
But seemingly forever had another plan
To leave me a lonely and saddened man
Walks in the dark led to a peaceful park
And a place where only lovers may go
I had the freedom of a high flying lark
When we shared a space where only clovers may grow
I felt forever was finally in my grasp
Wings were mine when she made the sun shine
With her every sigh and each simple gasp
I was witness to destiny’s most wondrous design
But then forever was duly overruled
I suppose by the God that I deem to choose
and then forevermore was thus speedingly fooled
when I discovered that forever was surely mine to lose
© 2012 copyright PHREEPOETREE…..~free cee!~
Cherie-A ROSE AROSE
T’was once a rose, t’was once a weed
No thorns upon her stem decreed
The rose, for that weed, fulfilled his every need
A bud with nectar sweeter than any mead
Alas, the two had never met
One simple dahlia kept them apart
The weed was angry, the rose upset
That rose so sweet yet a weed too tart
But then sweetened was that weed one day
While ignoring anything Mother Nature had to say
Now two stand stoic together in a humble way
And are no longer frightened when the sky turns gray
That weed required no promise, nor vow
Only a day of peacefulness by the sea
At once took that rose a curtsied bow
And shared with each other honeysuckle tea
No union together for forever declared
Just a few daisy days to share and care
The two were simply platonic ally paired
United by the graciousness of a garden rare
© 2012…..free cee!
I'm sure you think I'm crying.
You think it hurts so bad.
The only thing that truly hurt,
was when I lost my dad.
He really wanted me to know
the way life was meant to be.
He always tried to help me out.
He truly cared for me.
I pray one day I'll see him
laughing once again.
He was so much more than people knew.
He was part of a bigger plan.
Now he's gone to heaven
and I hope he's looking down.
I need him still to guide me
when I laugh and when I frown.
FROM COLUMBINE TO COLORADO
So he gazes at his arsenal with stars in his eyes
as his neighbors see not through his disguise
he lives and breaths all alone
and he has a collection of bloody clothes and bullet ridden bone
he thinks, he ponders and wonders what havoc he can create next
as he can recite Satan's words by chapter and verse
every day his delusions and illusions become worse
as I wonder about this man's psyche and curse
his targets are little children, the elderly and infirm
and this man is literally a human germ
contaminating this earth with bullets and a gun
and he's not happy until his sick agenda is done
so he gazes at his pistols, his rifles and all
waiting for his illness' voice to call
until he's killed and wounded the maniac is not satisfied
and that's why this morning for his victims I cried
© 2012....copyright PHREEPOETREE ~free cee!~
I'm breaking inside like shattered glass
The shards cut sharp and deep
Noone sees within these walls
Or know the secrets that I keep
I become so lost and helpless
Like a little child crying
My hands are weak and fragile
And my will to fight is dying
I donot understand myself
Or this monster that I see
Reflecting from this mirror
Broken eyes look back at me
Once so proud of who I was
Now ashamed to know at all
I'm fighting off the agony
And I've never felt this small
Help me, someone, can you hear?
I'm bleeding where I cannot find
Tell me that it's all a dream
That I'm not losing half my mind
The fire of pain that burns me
Leaves scars inside my heart
It rips in two, my belly
And pulls my soul apart
I'm stripped of all my dignity
As I lay there in my tears
A pool of hurt becomes a river
And I realize my fears
You changed, and life has changed
Will I ever feel I'm free?
I looked into your eyes that loved
And I no longer could see me
A BILLION WAYS TO SAY THREE LITTLE WORDS
There must be so many ways to say the same exact thing
Like, take this offering I was commanded to deliver to you from the Spring
And in the summer I shall say “take these my sweet”
As daisies rise from the ground to bless the finesse of your feet
There must be thousands of adjectives and numerous nouns
More words than there are tidy and tiny towns
Now let me say this in a different way to you
you will never find words birthed anew
You will seek yet never find a new way of what to say
When it’s so loudly defined by a willingness to pray
Are you bold enough to promise vows that you will one day keep,
Or will they, such as a corpse, be buried six feet deep?
How shall I react when I HEAR three words so small yet so sacrosanct to me
Will each syllable BE SPOKEN clearly so that I might understand and let it be?
Well where is she already with her supposed proposal billions before have done and said?
Instead of my beloved the minister meandered closer and whispered the three wrong words, “your fiancé’s dead”
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