I saw a burial with a bugler playing taps;
I turned to my father, “what happened?” I asked.
He clutched my hand and with a quiver in his voice,
he began to explain and his eyes became moist.
“My son,” he said, “this is rather difficult for me;
for an old veteran like myself this is tough to see.
In that coffin lies a genuine patriotic warrior,
an honest-to-God hero, an American soldier.
I appreciate that soldier and the service he gave,
and I honor his sacrifice as he’s laid in his grave.
He was honorable, selfless, courageous, and bold;
please remember him son, as you grow old.
The value of his service, I must explain,
if not remembered, will be lost in vain.
As a nation we’re nothing without soldiers like him;
and failing to remember would be a terrible sin.”
I listened in awe as my father spoke,
it seemed as if his heart were broke.
I suddenly remembered when he went to war,
and when he returned I thought nothing more.
I never asked why he walked with a limp,
and I didn’t care about why he was sick.
I was too busy enjoying the life that I had,
to realize that I had it because of dad.
I finally understood what my dad was about,
and it hurt so bad I cried out loud.
He sacrificed so much so I could be free,
and his battle scars were suffered for me.
It was my father’s spirit that spoke to me that day;
thank God I finally understood what he had to say.
I saluted his coffin as they laid him to rest,
and I thought about the medals pinned on his chest.
That I didn’t honor him sooner, I will always regret;
and I pledged that day to never again forget.
I’m proud that my dad was a patriotic warrior;
I’m honored to be the son of an American soldier.
So still and beautiful lays the rose in the heather,
Lifeless and dying, given to bring you happiness,
So fragile is this rose laying in heather,
Slowly withering and drying, crumbling to a powder,
I look at you and see this rose ever fading,
Once growing, living, accenting its surroundings,
But now gone, plucked from the bush by one mans lust,
I could never compare you to this rose laying in the heather,
For your beauty surpasses its own,
So still and beautiful lays this rose in the heather,
Now dried cracking and dead, stored in a book to bring memories,
So weak and faded is this rose in yellowing heather,
Slowly falling apart as you touch the fragile petals,
I look at you and remember the flower when it faded,
That germinated and grew where I had sown its seed,
Now gone, plucked from the ground by one mans hope,
I would never compare you to this old heather and roses,
For its life was surpassed by yours,
Now I tell you I love you with cellophaned roses in heather,
Draining lifeless this dying confession of my dreaming,
This rose is more fragile then the first had I gave you,
But I could’t approach, my courage eroding at your sight,
I look at you now and see the love I sought inward,
Once alive and growing but only within lost confines of myself,
But never quite gone I hold this consuming fire close inside,
I could never combine your world with mine,
You always looked passed never noticing me,
Now I open my book that holds the first rose, wishing I gave it for the sake of
Instead I hold a created memory that never came passing,
That never could I fear,
I hold tight to the lie that through wonted silence I painted,
But that chance for your love died with the first rose wrapped in heather.
I need more lives for me to live
In this universe of beauty;
I plan more days to find new ways
Of doing freedom's duty.
I need not more joy than this
For I am life's dear lover;
And when I wage to turn the page
I'd never want another.
The glorious pledge of sunny Spring
With sweet June coming after;
Bring autumn sighs and summers cries
Lost in winter's laughter.
With virgin moons and scorching noon’s
And stars of a thousand nights;
I'd need no heaven if love be given
With all its sweet delights.
There are many splendors for the eye
And such music for the ear;
The mind would reel with all to feel
And see to touch and hear.
There's many ways to spend the days
And more to do what's kind;
For bread now cast on waters past
Returns again I find.
There are such gifted souls to know
And many more to learn;
While a promise rests in earth's warm breast
And unknown stars still burn.
In six days God made all the earth
The bible is known to say;
Six lives I need to plant a seed
Of love with one for each dear day.
But sad if love should fly away
Or hide his face from me;
Six lives aren’t much if I had such
But one’s all that need be.
With unhappy May and sorry June
Sad dawns and weary night;
A sorry world through space was hurled
When love had lost her light.
Can you see them run to me – arms wide and laughing,
calling me, Mama: keeper of the stars, moon and hearts?
Can you see them kiss away my pain, healing every hurt
that’s ever marked me broken, dead or dying?
Can you see them hurt me? When they curse me, flay me;
ground me with their unformed anger and bravado-uncertainty
until they fly behind doors, crying over what they’ve said –
wishing they could take it back?
O’, does that pride HURT!
It stabs the chest and holds…holds…holds.
Can you see them behind doors and feel their wishful hearts burn?
Can you feel them loving me through it all?
Love is not something easily hidden. Love like that breaks down doors –
sees through them.
Can you see my tears; feel the weight of them on your cheeks?
They are yours.
Where you are (past the furthest/closest door) can you see me in them?
Can you see the love I kept hidden in my dark and painful dungeon?
You never knew what he did to me – but deep down, I blamed you anyway.
There was only you left, you see; always you.
Can you see, I'm just like you?
If you can see me, you know.
And if you can hear me crying through this God Damned pen (all those notes –
all those written sorry’s slipped beneath doors - you must have known that
even at 37, I’d write you my heart in a note!)
You, Gran/Mother, are my one and only regret.
That for 7 years, I treated you like a burden, a bother, and a barrier.
I treated you like you should have treated me – an unintentional intruder;
like something taken, not given.
But worse than that, I treated you like an acquaintance.
Knowing how badly that must have hurt you, makes me want to be kicked in the face
until I am unrecognizable; to the rest of the world, and myself.
But life’s not like that, is it? No. You knew that, too.
My baby boy has your nose, ears, and eyes.
Do you think that if I whisper in his ear tonight while he sleeps (between you and me –
at the doorway), you could hear me?
Tonight, I will whisper love in his perfect ear (pressed up against heaven’s door) -
maybe you will hear me say,
“Indy…Gran, I’m so sorry. If you can hear me, please give me a sign so I will know
you’ve heard me. I want to see you smile again – just one more time…please…
let me know that somewhere, behind the door, you forgive me…”
And in the darkness of his bedroom; the moonlight covering his small face
like an angel’s kiss, the baby boy in her likeness, smiled.
You made the mistake and now,
your afraid to face this day.
Your thoughts are racing through
You wonder if your family looks at
you as a disgrace, but you'er mother
takes you and reasures, your very
much loved in grace.
Even though your much to young
for this breathing little thing this
You couldn't just throw it out
like it was a peice of trash.
So you grow up and take the
path that led you to your best
mistake for years to come.
Alone in loneliness
Amid forever nights
And these four walls
In faint, whisper soft your name
I beg out loud to the nothingness that remains
"Please not another nightmare, no more storms"
But, answers are merely glimpses of light
Filtering through the pane
Cast empty shadows on the wall
Of places where you used to be
Eyes wide open
Now asleep, afraid I am to fall
Trapped within this never ending dream
I cling to all the memories that I have
Spinning me closer to where you were, in parallel on the edge
The thoughts, like imaginary rubble, comes tumbling passed
A fire for you still burning inside
Why can’t I let go of the tragedies last
And silence your unrescued suicidal screams
Or is it only the rain falling faster as it taps harder, and harder upon the glass
Or is it of your wandering spirit
Haunting with its vindications
Of "why’s" I can never seem to grasp
All this amidst lost stares into black windows
Where gutters overrunning, burdened by the strains
And I swear I see your reflection
Among the flashes, tracing out illuminations about your face
And for the first time
You are noticeably absent of all the worldly pains
And your lips releasing out a comfort that for so long I've been seeking
As I hear the words echo within my stormy heart "That where you are everything is okay"
I’m sorry for the flowers that I always sent
Being a nuisance was never my intent
I apologize for all the mushy letters
I thought with you, I would do better
I just wanted to show you how I feel
To show you that love is something real
I was simply amazed by the beauty of your eyes
All they ever did was remind me of a sunrise
Your smile always had me in awe
It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw
The problem is I always thought with my heart
Instead of letting my head take a part
My heart would always tell me what to do
When my head would say, “son have you no clue?”
I understand that love is not your thing
Which is why I always gave you a candy ring
One thing that I do realize is this
You always loved me, but just with a love that does not exist
This is why I want to thank you
Because you inspire me to do what I do
High upon the highest heights
I see the most tremulous sight
A small girl, fair and tranquil
Smiling strangely, sitting still
Beneath a sobbing willow tree
She recites a verse upon her knee
She sings a rhythmic hymn
Not of death, nothing grim
But prays that life will return
Even for those who are doomed to burn
The girl is a woman now
Beneath the tree and upon the cloud
She whispers, “I am watching you”
Why then are you so blue?
A single tear of sadness and joy
Rejuvenate the quirky earthly boy
Who sits down beneath the blooming tree
Listening to her silent voice attentively
She reminds him she was once young too
That she also was a misty shade of blue
But when the boy grows into man
He has come to ignore the fair woman
Who watches him still from above
Burning and swelling with disdainful love
The ways of the world have sweltered his heart
And time has torn his soul apart
Thus he has lost all innocence and light
Battling his sinful lust—an endless plight!
I watch as he feeds on others’ pains and fears
Reducing the vigilant woman to tears
The prayer of the innocent has been ignored
Life has died and hellfire stored
Into the hearts of the impotent
In blue, fires of haze their heart is sent
Toiling in misery and lament
Savaged and severed by our regret
The heavenly woman grows old and frail
And the man still treads the sinful trail
As the rotting tree withers into dust
Can I revive it? –I must!
Low as low can possibly be
I watch myself condescendingly
A tombstone, gray and hell-bent
Frowning knowingly in bewilderment
Above the dust that once was a tree
She cries out a verse anxiously
Faintly she whispers the undying hymn
Not of happiness, nothing of whim
And prays that life will come to end
For those that break instead of bend
Return to me, O morning fresh
And you will feel my promise
Free your tears, unto me...your God
I do not know?
Y can't i hate u?
Hate you like iv'e hated myself
Y can't i escape the memories that stain my heart like
fresh blueberries on a crisp white shirt?
Y couldn't you forgive me for my acts of stupidity?
Y wont you save me from my solitude and misery?
Why? Why? Why?
Cant i stop loving you?
I suck at dying poems
Chemo poems, Metastatic Cancer poems,
Hair falling out in the shower poems
And I told a half truth
When I told you I could write you one
In less than six months (It's been eight)
I apologize for being so late
I wanted your poem to be pink and graceful
Like those ribbons
I see all over the internet
Filled with cheesy generic rhymes
That read like a Hallmark audition
But already my metaphors are melting
And my similes are getting soft
I guarantee you the rhyme meter will be off
When I went to Google
And the typed in the word 'happy'
Three billion links came up
Not a single inference to
Breast cancer, hair loss
No redirects to mastectomies
Yahoo wasn't any kinder
The only thing research could teach me
Is that a good day on chemo
Is when your stool doesn't come out tar Black
And has no blood in it
Or when your urine
Smells better on Wednesday
Than it did on Tuesday
Sleeping less than 12 hours
When 24 would be better
America has more poets
Than it does alcoholics
And Pot smokers combined
And you chose me to be
Your Breast Cancer
Trusting me to write a poem
About the biggest battle in your life
So I refuse to finish this poem
Without something bright and hopeful
And don't think
I didn't notice your Facebook activity
Had decreased by 88%
In the last three months
And you aren't really
Coming to any more of my poetry shows
Ever again. Are you??
But we still have March, April
But even if you had one breast
Or no breast
Or if you had less hair than I do
I promise to look only in your eyes
And never ever even notice
Or even think about it
And never for a moment
Would I feel sorry for you
Yes I suck at lying too...
But I don't suck at loving you
Or at hoping you wake up tomorrow morning
With no Cancer at all
And that The Eiffel Tower will be right outside
Your bedroom window...
And I would be right there with you
Holding your hand while we look down on Paris
And you can impress me with your French again
And if I ever make it
To the Pulitzer Poetry board
I might lose a thousand points
Just for this poem alone
And my hopes for the prize will be smitten
And some old person
With white hair will say
That was the worst love poem ever written
Shall I compare thee to your mother's arse?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent
Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.
But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.
Now I'm here, fighting my own demons.
Tell can you see them, with their eyes burning so red.
My hands are weak from breaking all the molds.
I've done everything that I'm told.
I didn't know that you were so afraid of heights.
And I'm so sorry but I think that I'm far to weak
To let you think I can help you down from your pedestal tonight.
I can't help you down tonight.
I can't help but be angry. I just wish that you would save me.
Pushed the numbers down and watched them fade away.
I'm so small from down here; you're my biggest fear;
You grind my flesh and bones and feed it to all the needy kids.
I said tomorrow and today I'll be the same,
But I'll show you now that I know how I can really change.
And you might not like it. You say I'm so divisive,
I just think your indecisive, so I tell you the choices I think you should already know.
And I'm so sorry, but I'm at the brink, I cannot think tonight.
I can't let you down tonight.
Why can't I see that just maybe I'm in way over my head,
Why can't I see that just maybe I'm in way over my head.
I'm far to weak, I cannot think tonight.
Why can't you see that unfortunately your sinking just like lead,
Why can't you see that unfortunately your sinking just like lead.
And I'm so sorry but I don't think I can lift you up tonight,
Yeah your on your own tonight.
I apologize for the aches,
And all the pain,
I apologize for struggle in your
Torturing your veins,
I apologize for the stressful tears,
On account of non-listening ears,
I hear your melancholy weeps,
From a mind that never sleeps,
I know the fake smile you keep,
Will break you suddenly,
I am sorry for the things making you
I am sorry you had to grow up
Even when you shout hate,
I see love in your eyes,
Out of your heart you apologize,
But, this is my apology to you,
For all the things I put you through,
I apologize for the things you never
Just to make us glad,
I apologize for the unpaid bills,
that has you taking headache pills,
I thank you for your vigilance,
But, I can't sit and watch,
The other half is gone,
And you're fighting alone,
Somebody got to be the MAN of the
We can't always sit on the couch,
Mama I appreciate the things you
I thank God for you,
I apologize if my actions never
I Love You,
You bring peace and healing to my
I wanted to hug you tonight
even though it would not ease your pain
I wanted to say it would be okay
even though your eyes had lost their shine
I wanted to be the ear that you needed
when your hurt and pain flowed from your lips
I wanted to be all that and more
so much more
I wanted to say that I love you today
even more than I did yesterday
just to say that it felt good
that you trust me enough to share it all
you felt the need
to say sorry
for being sad,
sharing your pain,
I want you to know
that sorry has no
place in this space
Is never a crime so earn me awhole.
For all whom thoughts were crack in noon,
And still do not think is right left being dumb.
Would in pre-nuptial undertaken sauntered, when lifted'd had imagined what the world is of its own. If it's a wistful pan of several host or A spiteful mine of volcanic tusks?
my heart breathes its last breath
Embraces its own death
Ready to be reborn
and made anew
Can’t live a lie
Refuse to “do”
and I’ll DIE....
Focus now on why I’ll live
And never touch the sky.
I have to forget you
I have to reject you
But I will never love anyone
like I loved you.....
I heard you whisper
and you never knew it
I wiped the tears from your eyes
But you couldn’t feel it
You’re lost and you’ll never find you
And neither will I
And I’m so sorry--
but I’m NOT.
I'll attempt to reset
Try to forget
But you know, I never will.
Be my dirty little secret
My very worst-kept secret
Sweet, smooth, beautiful poison
My infernal and endless attraction
towards complete and utter self-destruction
I fell in love with the devil
And it will take one heck of an angel
To save me from the likes of you....
my dream never to come true
Oh, I’ll never forget the times
we never shared
I’ll never forget
how you were never there
Always me, the stars, and tears
And I ask you,
what kind of life is THAT?
I have to face the facts
I don’t know what happens now
but it happens without you.
The stains will always be there
the scars will never fade
But the memory of you----
it HAS to.
I could carry the torch forever
But it would only consume me
I can’t cry another tear for you
Or I’ll dry up completely
It doesn’t affect you
and you never deserved me
You’ll go on with your life, too
All, all alone
Because you’ll only ever be in love
Many voices from the past,
Always echoing in my head,
How long can it last,
I thought you were dead.
You always tell me what to do,
So I don't make a mistake,
Somehow you always knew,
How many I could make.
Because once I hurt you,
And you'll never let me forget,
But what can I do,
You're not quite dead yet.
Why won't you leave me alone,
Will you never forgive me,
I wish I could atone,
Please, just let me be.
The hollow echo of your voice,
Will linger on forever,
You've given me no choice,
It'll never stop, ever.
The sound of you used to make me smile,
But now it tortures me,
I will always be in denial,
So an end I'll never see.
Written by: Kelly Deschler
Giorgio V.'s contest - "Impress Me 2" - themes-gothic/spiritual
I do not know?
i kill your
i kill your
i kill your
i slide in between
and tear em down
like bull dozers
i bring all your
and damage you
crack i love
crack i love
you feen for me
and dream for me
i call you
late at nite
after you eat
you throw up
cause i can't bear
to let you gain on me
rehab can shelter you
but you wills be back!
These are the five letters you left me with:
So you are leaving, walking away,
Old wounds grate against silence.
Realizing a moment too late, what’re you doing,
Reading through all those beautiful lies,
You never meant what you said.
And, I read them, over and over again
but five small letters never seemed so big.
I asked what’s worse than death,
You say people that help you survive.
You say: “ I don’t feel anything anymore.”
You make every one out to be your enemy,
But your enemy itself is you!
You say that none of us care,
When it’s you that don’t care.
You say that none of us love you,
When it’s you that doesn’t love yourself.
You say you have a very empty feeling,
When you are the only one that can fill it.
You say we broke you down emotionally,
When it was you, yourself who did it,
By not talking about the things that bothered you.
You say: “ I can’t go on.”
When you know you can, with help, make it.
You feel sorry for yourself,
When you should feel sorry for those who love you.
You only think of yourself and you don’t
See the suffer in the eyes of other.
To me she died a few days ago.
To me you are a total stranger.
My heart is struck with sorrow
For the monster she become destroyed
Everything good that’s left.
To me you are a nobody,
Because she would never have done
What sorrow you did.
To me you don’t exist,
For she would never destroy
What’s good in life.
If only she could be here,
She would clean up the destruction
If she was here
She would have thought of us and never
Cause so much sorrow.
You know time choose you,
You can not choose time.
For time and place and how
Is special itself.
Why put yourself through so much,
Pain, when it is not your time to go.
Where is home: heaven, earth or hell,
How would you know?
You sound and act so pathetic,
She would never have done that.
Why should I feel sorry for you.
It is only you, you care about.
I’ll rather weep for the person you hide
Just to become a self-conscious monster
When it’s only you that can stop.
So lovely, and so sweet
Ravaged by wind
And rain and summer heat
Joyful to view
With the sweetest scent
Why nature could bring
harm to you
Makes me wonder where God went
I cry inside
I'll never understand
How such delicate beauty
Could come to such evil harm
All I see is beauty
And innocent loving charm.
My eyes grow heavy,
Yet I can't sleep,
My soul feels weighted,
But I can't weep
I dream on
Without the hope I need
I need to talk
Yet my tongue's not freed
I clutch my pillow,
I cling to the thought
Of how we met,
And why we fought
It all seems so silly now,
And I wonder why
We could let this stand
And let love die
Pure "saving face"
Holds me back,
Your verbal attack
Being a person,
No easy thing,
You've left your nest
And the protection of
Your mother's wing
Should i call?
Or hold out?
Be the weak one?
Or stand and shout?
Oh, Lord, please guide me
Let me know
The way to be...
I roll over in bed again,
And turn on the light,
But light doesn't help.
I have no sight...
Indecision means inaction
I start to groan,
To lose your love,
A fear greatly grown
Turn off the light,
Again to bed
In many ways,
Wishing I was dead.
I’m sorry for the nightmare I allowed to be your reality, and
I’m sorry I failed to illuminate a way out
I turned my back on you when you needed me most
I’m sorry I was a coward
I’m sorry for all the damaging words I said to you, but even more
I’m sorry I made you believe they were true
I took you for granted and battled with you every day
I’m sorry I did not think you were good enough to be treated better
I’m sorry for laying too much pressure on you; nobody is perfect, so
I’m sorry for making you believe you had to be
I did not trust you, respect you, listen to you, or appreciate you
I’m sorry I took you for granted
I’m sorry that I pitied you, and
I’m sorry I made you feel foolish and unimportant
I failed to treat you like the remarkable person you truly are
I’m sorry I made you feel you were alone
I’m sorry I did not love you
I’m sorry that I am apologizing to you; the
one person who will be with me always
I am not sorry for a single tear I wept
each drop represents all that I have endured
I have learned much about life, relationships and most importantly – YOU
pain is temporary
for every burning tear that escapes, relief follows
I will be strong again
I will live again
I will love again
I will trust again
I will survive another day
Originally written: November 2005
Re-write: January 2012
< Early morning,
Its rainy and dark,
Cloudy and gray,
Emotions flowing not,
So dim and sadden,
Stuck in a zone,
Feeling all alone,
Now dressed in lace,
And black satin,
Emotions flowing all over,
Yet still lost,
Dazed and amazed,
Felt crushed pancake flatten......>
not sure how she got here
only know she needs to leave
underneath the stranger
my arm numb; asleep,
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry
princess of night
exposed by light.
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess.
along with my will.
I swore never again;
the lie is half the thrill.
"The Wretched Prince"
You were my hope
And all my dreams,
But all of that has changed,
Because I treated
You so bad,
And if I could
Just turn back time,
I'd claim you and,
I'd make you mine
I'd treat you
Like a Princess fair,
Hold you close,
And stroke your hair
A precious jewel
You would be,
Loved by me
I'd be your Prince,
Your Hero true,
Would I keep from you
But this is not
A Fairy Tale,
I missed the mark,
I lost the trail
Your "Prince" was just
A wretch, it seems,
Of killing dreams
No, I failed that too,
You got much less
Than you were due
I rack my brain,
I beat my breast,
Realizing that I failed the test
And I know this,
You played no part,
In the reckless murder
Of your heart
We had it all,
We were "that pair"
I ruined that,
It wasn't fair
I promised not
To play that game,
But in the end,
I hold the blame
You were "the one"
I always said,
Then cruelly left
Our love for dead
Your faith in me
Was rare and just,
I finally ground
It into dust
I crushed your faith,
And acted small,
And caused a bitter rain
I hurt you love,
And I regret,
The pain I caused,
You can't forget
And if I could
Reset the clock,
Erase the pain,
The hurt, the shock
I'd do it now
I swear it's true,
Undo the harm
I did to you
But time moves forward
I am told,
It leaves me sad,
And feeling old
With words too little,
And too late,
I took your love,
And left you hate
These words I offer
With hope you can
Believe they're true
You were so strong,
Yet fragile too,
I tore a precious thing
I pray that God
Will soon repair,
I was so quick to tear
I thank you for
The strength you shared,
The love you gave,
And how you cared
Your courage helped me
To go on,
When all of mine
Was dead and gone
All I left you
Was pain and strife,
And I'll regret that
All my life
Please know your tears
Don't fall alone,
I miss the place
We once called home
This wretched "prince"
Will hobble on,
No longer part,
Of your sweet song
I can never claim,
But I will not
Forget your name,
My honor, blanketed by shame,
But I will not forget your name.
I forgot Him who stood by me all this time
Now with nothing left I go back to Him
And He soothes me with a soft hand
Strokes my hair tells me its all about to end
My pain my guilt its Him who's left
He tells me its a choice I have to make
Death is always an option never self imposed
He told me He is not cruel, He loves me a lot
When I cry in the corner , He wipes my tears
Life might be unfair , but death is not
A new beginning is all what I want
He told me I have never let go of faith
Even when I sinned or betrayed
He sighed when I made mistakes
He smiled at the lessons learned
He looked at me when I looked away
He was there to talk when no one was
He saved me from so much that could have gone wrong
I drifted away , He brought me back
He showed me the way , when I was lost
He trusted me but I trusted no one
Now when I gave up He came to me again
I looked for everyone , never thought its Him
Asked Him , how did I find you?
He said I am amongst those pieces of your broken heart
I was shocked , you were here all this time?
Yes I was always in your beating heart
I felt the pain more than you did
Every time you cried, i was crying with you
Did they realize they stabbed me when they hurt this heart
It bleeds with my pain and some of yours
We are one maryam, all hearts combined
Man will never realize , its the same for all of us
You have to keep breaking your heart to discover me
You look astonished , is it hard to believe?
I replied , you dwell in the heart and I have hurt some too
Yes , I felt that more than they did boo
I am sorry , I don't know why you are still with me
Because I can't let you go , you are a part of me
He said , man is guilty but how soon he forgets
I love all , more than a mother who begets
You are scared of hell, is that why you pray?
The fire is more powerful, then the love I display?
You have been given free will to perceive
Fear of my brutality is not what I need
They think I'm unfair , ruthless and cruel
some scared to say , I know , I made you fool
You've made your own ways of getting close to me
Everyway I adore , I acknowledge everything you do
Universe is love , not some punishment and rules
Believe that I am, and the truth appears to you
If I wanted slaves, I would give you no will
Man is made to discover , man is made to choose
I listen and I watch , I never let you go
You are so dear to me,every unique soul
So its your decision now, come see more
Death is just the beginning of what you really are
I do not know?
I built her a glass castle
And set her as my queen
And promised her the East and West
And e'r'thing in between.
She placed me on her white cake -
Her Golden Figurine.
It looked like I could do it,
But that's just how it seemed.
I tried to keep my promises.
I did with all my might.
But in the end I failed at that
And proved the hater's right.
The queen's still in her castle,
Her raiment's simply stunning.
She's waiting for her Charming,
But I'm not sure he's coming.
slightly small mostly black
think of my kids
that's what holds me back
cracks in my heart
such a delicate shell
tears fill my eyes
my eyes start to swell
try to be a new me
no drugs no liquor
now my eyes open wide
more reasons to pull the trigger
thought it was real
did you mean what you said
starting to see the truth
make the target my head
holding back so much pain
but still some leaks out
no one to talk to
feel better with cold metal in my mouth
no peace in my soul
it will not rest
another thought comes to mind
aim straight for my chest
even then I cry
thinking of taking a last breath
seriously thinking without me
would the children be best
feeling like a criminal
I've committed no theft
here is a person that's broken
I have nothing left
I'll walk away now
before I do something stupid
stop leaving it around
one day I might use it
no, no.... I can't
gotta remember my babies
this is a silent prayer I'm tormented
God please save me