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Love Sad Poems | Love Poems About Sad

These Love Sad poems are examples of Love poems about Sad. These are the best examples of Love Sad poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Shape | |

Spring Bud

                                
                                 
                                  
                                 
                                
                                 My 
                               breath
                          shivers under  
                       a rug of loneliness,
                    a sleepy heart huddles
                   against such memories 
                 of togetherness and not of 
               goodbyes, hating to disperse 
               the fiery rhymes of your lips, 
                as well as the warmth of its 
                 sweat...tastes like red wine, 
                   then it beats...and beats
                     gently, as it envisions
                          you, in an early
                                misty
                                   s
                                  p
                                r
                               i
                              n
                            g






Details | Personification | |

I Look To the Moon

I look to the Moon, hanging aloft
Among the clouds so milky soft.
How must it feel, so high above?
So chilled and bleak and void of love.

Collapsed and sunken are his eyes,
Dark and deep as the onyx skies.
As the Moon shies from the sun,       
I share no love with anyone.

The Moon is alone, without affection.
In its grim face is my reflection.
Inside my heart, the longing grows,
And rots my soul, a sickly rose.

While I look beyond this cage,
I clench my fists; they shake with rage.
I desperately stare above,
Wishing to fly, free as a dove;
For release from the troubled heart I claim,
To be finally rid of the madness and shame.
                                      
Although reprieve is found in song,
To no one does my soul belong.
In music, may the pleas be spoken,
But all in vain; the heart is broken.
                            
The Sphere returns, begins to sigh.
We are not so different, You and I.
So twisted and fractured is the White Stone.
We both have no one; We are both all alone.


Details | Villanelle | |

Date Night (and the day after)

Opening line from "Highway Five Love Poem" by Ruth L. Schwartz


This is a love poem for all the tomatoes
I squished to make our Date-Night spaghetti.
Our love, like the pasta, was shiny.  So the story goes.

We sit at our table, between us a rose
Red as the marinara I chose.  (He let me).
This is a love poem for all our tomatoes.

We watch the steam, which the mouth quickly blows
Away (like the wind and those petals the day he met me).
Our love, like the pasta, was sticky.  So the story goes.

We sip our red wine.  Chianti, it has a good nose.
(In the morning, do you think he will regret me?)
This is a love poem.  For all our tomatoes

Are gone, just as the wine hides grapes squished by toes
in authentic California vineyards.  (You get me?)
Our love, like the pasta, was steamy.  So the story goes.

We finish our meal with gestures the other knows.
(I wonder if he'll someday forget me.)
This isn't a love poem for all our tomatoes.
Our love, like our pasta, was al dente.  So our story goes.


Details | Romanticism | |

A Rose In The Heather.

So still and beautiful lays the rose in the heather,
Lifeless and dying, given to bring you happiness,
So fragile is this rose laying in heather,
Slowly withering and drying, crumbling to a powder,
I look at you and see this rose ever fading,
Once growing, living, accenting its surroundings,
But now gone, plucked from the bush by one mans lust,
I could never compare you to this rose laying in the heather,
For your beauty surpasses its own,

So still and beautiful lays this rose in the heather,
Now dried cracking and dead, stored in a book to bring memories,
So weak and faded is this rose in yellowing heather,
Slowly falling apart as you touch the fragile petals,
I look at you and remember the flower when it faded,
That germinated and grew where I had sown its seed,
Now gone, plucked from the ground by one mans hope,
I would never compare you to this old heather and roses,
For its life was surpassed by yours,

Now I tell you I love you with cellophaned roses in heather,
Draining lifeless this dying confession of my dreaming,
This rose is more fragile then the first had I gave you,
But I could’t approach, my courage eroding at your sight,
I look at you now and see the love I sought inward,
Once alive and growing but only within lost confines of myself,
But never quite gone I hold this consuming fire close inside,
I could never combine your world with mine,
You always looked passed never noticing me,

Now I open my book that holds the first rose, wishing I gave it for the sake of 
chance,
Instead I hold a created memory that never came passing, 
That never could I fear,
I hold tight to the lie that through wonted silence I painted,     
But that chance for your love died with the first rose wrapped in heather.


Details | Free verse | |

Soul mates solace

When my final shadows cling on desperately
Where I fight formidable battles
to merely hold the light
I send you loving vibrations
and soul sustenance
Deep from the cathedral
of one heart to another
where today no choirs sing
nor symphonies play
Yet it is here where we meet
in spiritual solace
here to surrender 
and exchange inestimable treasures
recollecting memories 
like unopened letters
Galaxies are stretched
over chronicles of shared history
Nebula birthing stars
will be exposed
in forth-coming conversations
bringing short-lived fulfillment to you
Hungry to feast
now will be the time
to approve your blood art vision
and with my own haunting surrender
as dappled shades ink stain your chest
I will reside with you and share, mesmerised 
pens - by branding
as this will be your written reams to me
your artist's pallet or brushed canvas
no need for words
and yet creating
mysterious magical moments
Bitter-sweet the music
that dances taut guitar strings
but now blood approved
please go kick your heel up
return to your laughter
and ride on the breeze
for not all are lost
change not
for I am with you always
to love, listen and comfort as one
with you in me and I in you
as masterpiece


Details | Narrative | |

Sweetest Love Note

One night a guy & a girl were
driving home from the movies. The
boy sensed there was
something wrong because of the painful
silence they shared between them
that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over
because she wanted to talk. She told him that her
feelings had changed & that it was time to move on.
A silent tear slid down his cheek as he
slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note.
At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down
that very same street. He swerved
right into the drivers seat, killing the boy.
Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she
pulled it out & read it.
"Without your love, I would die."


Details | Rhyme | |

Why The Willow Weeps

The Willow did not always weep,
in summer sun and breeze.
But sorrow once did quickly creep,
amongst the bark and leaves.

For long ago a maiden fair,
would bask beneath the tree.
Each day as she had rested there,
the tree would always see.

The beauty of her freckled face,
the softness of her skin.
The sweetness of her simple grace,
her love it hoped to win.

Reaching out to take the chance,
in all its strength with care.
Dropping low the limb and branch,
to shade the maiden fair.

To hide her from all pain and strife,
to cradle her within.
To help her through her gentle life,
from now until the end.

But soon she cease to come and lay,
beneath the now bowed limb.
Her heart it seems had flown away,
as hope now starts to dim.

So lonely was the branching Willow,
that in sorrow it would stay.
Forever bent and bowed down low,
until this present day.


By Tom Clark, Copyright 2008
Email:   tclark97045@yahoo.com
Website:  www.tomclarkarts.com


Details | Ballad | |

This Song is for my Mother

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
I couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
A song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created and cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Memory of a mother
Shared my dreams and really cared

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Mama…
I know I wasn’t there……

For you

Would have placed 
A magic carpet 
‘neath your weak and shaky legs

Would have raised
A strong west wind
Let you breathe with ease again

Would have bribed 
God’s venal angels
Come and soothe your endless pain

Would have vanquished
All the demons
And bring peace to you again

Be the child
I never knew
In a land
We won’t grow old

Be the light
I always loved
Warmed my dark 
And lonely soul

Be the girl
Playing games
In a world 
The sun won’t set

Be the laughter
Calms my heart
I never will forget
I won’t forget, won’t forget

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
Couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
Song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created….cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

I broke my promises, oh mama
Now you’ve gone away 
I’m broken
Drowning in the pain each day

I’m  drowning…drowning...drowning…drowning

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me…….



Details | Rhyme | |

Suicide Mind

What makes the decision
To flick the switch
To end ones life
For the sake of it
 
Troubled, debts
Bullied at school
Fork in the road
To let death rule
 
Mums, dads
Daughters and sons
What ever affects them 
They just can't outrun
 
Sadness and tears
By all left behind
Will they ever understand
Suicide Mind


Details | Narrative | |

My Heart Sobs

I'm till struggling to connect with you...
It feels strange that you are actually here, and so near..
You...walked past me a couple of times,
Your eyes were glistening, sober, serious...
Rushing by as if something deathly important lie ahead
In that moment, I could hear my heart thrashing in my throat
A victim in a prison, desperately closing those eyes from the fear
Wanting...to reach out to you....
But not knowing how...

How will you ever know the tears I have shed?
How will you ever see the love and care in my eyes? 
Maybe we will never know what we could be...
Maybe I am lost in uncertainty's sea

But, please...
Don't walk by me...
No, not anymore...
My sorrowful soul holds its breath when you do...
And when you are gone again...
My heart sobs...


Details | Narrative | |

The Sparrow

He called it love and his captivating way,
   She called it fear and longed for the day.
All alone she cried those bitter nights,
   While he ran around to his hearts delight.
He had her heart he pulled her strings,
    All she ever wanted was the joy that only true love can bring.
He controlled her mind, her spirit, her soul,
     All alone with no hopes of ever achieving her goals.
Completely stripped of confidence and pride,
    She became a victim of his heartless and evil side.
She was hardly a child when he stole her heart,
    Lured in to his web with lies and broken promises from the start.
Now all of her dreams have faded away,
    As she musters up courage to try to make it through another day.
He has convinced her that what he says is the final word,
    No matter what she had read or heard.
You can’t make it out there, alone, is what he said!
    You won’t last a week till somebody finds you dead.
So callous and cruel he chose those frightening words to keep her here,
    But she had reached the end and leaving was the only way and she saw it clear.
She said you’re right and I should hush so let’s not fight,
     But her things were packed, she’d be leaving this night.
He got all dressed and went out to make the town,
     She called her a taxi and left that clown.
She broke the bonds that held her there,
     Now she’s on her own enjoying life and breathing in this new found air.
This little sparrow has found her wings,
     Enjoying everything this life can possibly bring.


Details | Free verse | |

Genie in a Gin Bottle

Her lips caress another cigarette
A fading belle looking for love
The smoke veils a creature of habit
Chasing a young girls dream

But this Genie found the palace doors locked 
Her youth distilled into a bottle of gin
Diluted by these streets of sin

Now her makeup hides the bottles content
Silk fingernails deluding the smokers hand
Her wig of blonde hiding the soul beneath
The ladder in her stockings,
Torn like her Hollywood dreams

Her perfume sickly sweet,
Masking the odor from yesterday’s gin
The ashtray is full,
Cheap lipstick covers the tab ends
Her vigil to find happiness

But he never comes.
Only a stream of chancer’s 
Wanting to spin lady luck one more time
Fuelled by the promise of paradise
A vacation from life
And a brag for Jack Daniels

Under neon lights
A Beautiful girl content in her gin bottle
Her saviour from this cruel world
An inner voice plays in her mind
“I could have been a movie star”
A role she can play all too well

But morning light never lies
Her beauty, has fled, left on the pillow
Like some Monet’s impression.
Regret lays sprawled out
Like yesterday’s salad,
Thrown out with the rubbish
For the slugs of corruption to eat
.
Her aging face revealing every rejection
Every turned down script, every broken dream
A lifetime of heart break.
But she still plays her part well
Play it again Sam
And another cigarette,


The same mistake, the same men,
From all the gin bars in the world
She had to choose this one
Another lottery ticket to litter her despair.
No winning numbers here

Her silent acceptance speech,
Laid bare in her blood shot eyes of regret
A mouthwash of gin
And the genie of love returns to her bottle
Her legs bruised and varicose,
Testament to waitress by day and genie by night.

He closes the door
His only thought to get away, not his finest hour
Jack Daniels his moral escape goat
Nosey neighbour’s his jury
They bare witness to his walk of shame

She opens the curtains,
And sees him fade into the faceless crowd
Alone again, a full ashtray and an empty gin bottle
Symbols of last night’s play
The mirror torments her image,
As she drinks coffee through smoke stained teeth

A wave of her head, a smile
And a daydream
Tonight, her prince will save her
This is her delusion, her reason to live

But time is running out
For she is part of life’s crap game.
The dice rolls once more
Will it be happiness? or loneliness?
But in the end, deep down she knows
The house always wins in tinsel town.


Details | Senryu | |

carved on a willow

carved on a willow
our love growing out of reach


Details | Free verse | |

I got your message

65 minutes reduced to 120 seconds

Bright lit room
White glossy tone with flowery curtains
Upon window's darkened vision

Your radiance emanated in celebratory gesture
As my eyes fell in love
All over again

But your smiles were too bright to see me cry
Dry heaving sadness gasp

As I looked down...I became the great
Pretender

The smile pretender

You wore a dark blue blouse, w/body-fitting jeans
Tall, plus-size model stature
My walking fantasy

Dark brown locks of joy slow danced upon flesh that

I

No longer embraced

You had something to tell me
"I'm getting married to a man who called me, sexy.
We work together in the same building, so everybody knows."

Spanish music behind the scenes
Your witty humor against song
Crackin' my smile within sadness pores

Showing me blank invitations
As I leaned in, inhaling this broken emptiness
Writing out words with her voice
My gentle grin, the eraser

Tears in Cold War mode

Heart enunciating disconnection bliss

"This wasn't how I wanted to see you again"

As satin comforter tries to soften my falling
Falling...into true love's innocence

The same comforter that covered those tracks
Asphalt scarred remnants from the bus you threw me under

"I always wanted you to wake me from my sleep
But not like this"

You became my dream, come true
Becoming dream again
In 120 seconds

...

He may have called you "sexy" with words
But I called you "beautiful" with heart

Yet you will never value how deep it was

Well, at least you can rest assured
That I got your message

© Drake J. Eszes
"True love never dies...even if the recipient never reciprocates." –D.J.E.


Details | Narrative | |

---And the Angel Looked On

"I heard an angel speak last night and he said "write" - Elizabeth Barrett Browning 

"Remember..."
that was the last word he whispered before his eyes closed forever...
"Remember..."

I close my own eyes, bite my lower lip, 'til I taste tin, stone angel crying with me...
The wind sends chills through me, as the heavens threatened to weep
brown leaves skittering between my feet, seeking for shelter.
How I related to those leaves: dry...brittle...dead.

I look at the Angel that watches over him,imploring for answers, 
begging this Guardian to take pity on me, help me remember. 
She only looks at me, with tears in her eyes, her beautiful face
always looked enigmatic to me, for she was smiling...
and yet those tears hinted at sadness, 
seemingly reprimanding me with her look.
I bow my head in shame, and reach for her hands, 
but I only feel cold, hard stone...not unlike my heart

My throat catches, I can hardly breathe--
I loosen my grip, feeling it might burn this time
...from guilt, for forgetting...

I glance at her magnificent wings, and wished I had them, too,
if only to fly away, but my feet are stuck on the ground, 
with a heart buried in regret.

I whisper one word: "Sorry":spoken so softly, I think I only said it in my heart;
I say it louder, my body wracked with sobs, my heart bleeding crimson tears of anguish. 
I look at the Angel and notice something on her sash--
One pristine white feather lay there-a stark contrast to the moss covered stone.
I take the feather, notice wordings etched on the sash--and scraped off moss, 
Tennyson's words go straight to my heart...
" 'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

The memories come back like a flash flood, assaulting me, bringing me back to that day.
He told me he had an angel carved to be with him at his grave, 
since I, his angel, couldn't always be there for him. And that he understood, 
that it was okay. I shrugged it off, told him I love him forever.
I still do, that's why it shamed me that I also love another now.

Seeing those words, I felt such a sense of peace, like he was embracing me, 
smoothing out my hair like he used to, telling me it was all right. 
I blink back tears, and say "Thank you" this time...I hug the Angel and I felt warm.
Drizzle and sunlight bounced off each other as I walked away. 
I turn my head around to his grave
--and the Angel looked on with a smile.


Constance's Angels in Cemeteries contest
 June 18, 2011


Details | Free verse | |

Time Out

Make no haste,
your work is restless.

Aeon give me pause--
no more ticking
gears grinding
ever towards the
lonely end.

Live the now.
Even Death took
a holiday,
veering briefly from an
eternity of reaping
solitude.

Take your time
on earth and
mingle--
overindulge in
reverie.
Rest assured,
oblivion can
wait.


Details | Narrative | |

The Rose

Once bloomed a rose so young and fair
With dark brown eyes and long black hair

Beside her be a tall dark tree
Whose branches stretch to smother thee

Too close beside the shadowy bark
That soon begins to leave its mark

She cries for help, but none shall hear
Her thorns too sharp, who’d dare go near?

To save this rose, who’d risk their life?
With naught to gain but pain and strife

Alone, afraid, she lays to rest
Her heart beats low inside her chest

And with the hour growing near
She sheds her final grieving tear

And so the rose soon falls asunder
Her final day, eternal slumber

She lies beside the old dark tree
The only one who mourns for thee


Details | Narrative | |

A letter to my man

It might take a while to tell you my thoughts,
It might take a while to show you what I've got,
Sometimes its sad sometimes its not,
sometimes am happy cause you're all I've got.

Am a beautiful girl covered in an ugly shell,
Its a long story but let me tell you how it went.

I once loved a man who was out of my league,
I thought he would be my king and i his queen,
We dated for weeks and i love him more
As time went by he wanted much more.

He got what he wanted and he told the world,
Facebook,twitter and all the social clubs,
I cried for days, i cried for long,
I shut myself from that ugly world.

So give me sometime my dear,
To get over this fear,
To heal the wounds in my heart,
To open up my heart that was shut.

Be patient with me all the way,
Cause i'll be thinking of you everyday,
Take care of my heart don't throw it away,
Its an ugly path please be with me everyday.


Details | Rhyme | |

Remnants

Sad Heart, now thou art wither’d from the Sun,
What man, or god, will near thee run?
Wrought in twist like branches in Tempests' gasp,
What Comfort, or Gauze, shall be near to grasp?
True ones begotten are the ones now Rotten
And the ones now Rotten will never be forgotten
They are merely sad remains of assiduous Tears
That have been meddl’d with and tatter’d Raw throughout the years

And thou, cruel Mind, that sat’st still thru toiling trail of Night;
Must dream your broken Dreams; thou’rt a sanely flight!
Can thou extinguish passions of Fire, Disease, or Rain?
—tho thy distinguish’d influence trains to abstain
Thy Remnants brought to debris in thy Empty street,
Devour’d by Vultures, their bestow’d beaks entreat
Merely are they cleaning an inexhaustible Mess
Alas! Leaving thy rudiments of Identity to redress....



Details | Lyric | |

LAST NIGHT I CRIED

Last Night I Cried Last night I cried, because I missed you so much. I can’t recall the times I whispered your name before the tears dried up. I just felt like sometimes you don’t realize how much I care, And how bad it hurts inside because I’m not there. There’s so much love I have for you, and I often get scared, That you’ll get tired of waiting and go elsewhere. Meanwhile - I grab a tissue, wipe my eyes and regain my pride Before someone finds out Last Night I Cried.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Best Mistake

You made the mistake and now,
your afraid to face this day. 

Your thoughts are racing through 
and through.

You wonder if your family looks at
you as a disgrace, but you'er mother
takes you and reasures, your very 
much loved in grace.

Even though your much to young
for this breathing little thing this
has become.

You couldn't just throw it out
like it was a peice of trash.

So you grow up and take the
path that led you to your best
mistake for years to come.


Details | Free verse | |

Eternity in a Moment

There is a melancholy in the air
And an emptiness deep inside
A flux of emotions overwhelm me
Rushing in like a rising tide

The sun scintillates the breaking waves
Creating diamonds upon every swell
Each one is reminiscent
Of the eyes that said farewell

Bright and glorious for just a moment
Then fading as quickly as it came
A wondrous gift, although brief
Has outlived it’s moment of fame

Yet a fingertip beneath the surface
Can create a false illusion
So at the waters edge
Our love has no conclusion

I wish that I could stay forever
Just outside of reality
Avoiding the obvious truth
And all it’s brutality

But alas, I shall not grieve
For that which cannot be
Instead I am very grateful
For that moment you gave to me

The memory of your magnificence
Is etched within my mind
You may disappear from my sight
But within my heart you are confined


Details | I do not know? | |

Today Tomorrow Forever

                                 This day has come
                                 The day I've dreaded
                                 Dad I wish I could be
                                 in your arms once again,
                                  But I can only sit here
                                   and think of you instead,
                                I think of all memories
                                 we've once shared
                               I remember all your laughter
                                your love and your care,
                               when I needed someone you 
                              were always there,
                             But know my life is full of 
                             Emptiness and despair
                            Oh dear Dad you've been
                             gone almost a year
                             Still this pain is so severe
                            My heart is drowning in all
                              these tears
                          Consumed with all these
                           Rage and Fears,
                            wishing this was all
                              a horrid nightmare,
                         Your truly gone this I know,
                         I just want to tell you that
                         I still love you so, and I'll
                         hold on to your memories
                         I'll never let go,
                        For you were my Hero
                         You were my Dad,
                       you were one of my best friends
                       That a daughter could of ever 
                              had,
                        Now I know you're up there
                        and watching over me
                        with your beautiful spirit 
                        soaring so free,
                       I can feel your presence
                       always surrounding me
                      I just want you to remember 
                             Dad
                    That you'll always be
                    Today, Tomorrow, Forever
                    A Cherished part of 
                                             ME.....
 
                                             I STILL LOVE YOU DAD....HAPPY FATHERS DAY 


Details | Rhyme | |

Dying, we awake to eternal life.

His fragile fevered brow is soaked with life’s sweat
Nearing the end, his death has not arrived just yet
Shivering, his body is on fire, he makes a gentle sigh  
His frame broken down by the years now passed by
The end of the final chapter, his book has grown old
Soon in a faith filled church, his past tales will be told
He’s a person, loved, surrounded by his living history
His family hold one another, parts of his closing story 
Go quietly now love, for the time has come to move on
Hush now, your wearied tiredness, is oh so nearly gone
Soon the warmth of living will become so stiff and cold
Leaving this earth’s dusty soil, so as to join an eternal fold
He enters deaths doorway that will close quickly behind
A peace beyond imagination, a kind welcome he will find
Tears flow, fond goodbyes are spoken a kiss of farewell
Do not mourn too long have faith, know he is now well.

Patrick Brennan © 2010


Details | Romanticism | |

A Little Rain

I felt a great pain
a torture of my heart,
emotionally exhausted
my soul torn apart.

I saw dreams vanish 
and hopes disappear,
the thought of you leaving
became my greatest fear.

I caught you in the act
of being with another,
I was so furious 
all I could do was stutter.

But as Jesus forgives 
so do I,
because our love for each other
doesn't deserve to die.

I give you this chance
because your heart is true,
though while in pain
our love still grew.

The look in your eyes 
tell me you want me still,
but there's a gap
that only you can fill.

I will trust you
because love conquers all,
but I need you baby 
to break my fall.

Love sometimes hurts
and may bring alot of pain,
but always remember
there's no sunshine without rain.








Cody Lee


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Diary (Dying)

Maybe this can't be saved.

One more short year and I'll never see her again. I'll always be wondering about 
her but it's better left that way. Never been able to face the truth. Even now.

We were all each other needed, some childish indestructable duo of sorts. All 
gone.

Sometimes it's my fault. I've been a cliche since prom night when she came over 
and apologised and suddenly she was perfection. After that I hardly spoke 
around her in case I stuttered or worse, couldn't make her laugh. Was I in love? If 
I was I still am. This intolerable inferiority complex, this petrified fear of not being 
good enough feels all too familiar.

Don't think there was one moment when it all happened, but now I find myself 
smiling arduously in black armour; all that she made me once again 
undermined. I called her my mermaid; sunny skin, the beach in her hair and eyes 
shining with all the colours and tempers of the ocean.

Now she's hacked away every detail of her. Barely recognisable, even to the one 
who used to know her best.

There's a girl I still know, dancing through my memories, but already clinging to 
herself, desperate to remain. She knows she can't stay forever.

We're not the people we were; this can never work.

Today I'm hiding behind a calm and carefree front; she can never know, nor 
understand why. I'm blocking her out.
Out of sight, out of mind
No explanation. We were dying anyway.
But if she asks why I can't see her anymore
How can I even look her in the face?
If that's selfish then at last it's my turn.

I miss her even when we're locked in embrace. Affection is genuine. All else is 
lost. She can't save us, can't put in the effort. I've tried but I'm weak. Another 
excuse to take cover under.

I can't change her back. Why am I trying? I should just make the most of my 
precious friend now.

A little more of her slips away every day.


Details | Epic | |

The Fallen Prince

I saw a fair young maiden, abandoned in her bed,
Tearful for the one she loved ,the one she chose to wed.

Who in a weakened moment tread, out to the mountain ledge,
Enticed by the knight in black, who brought him to the edge.

Come fly with me, the black knight said, " to a land of pure euphoria,
And let me show you wondrous things, that I can lay before you.

No more pain and no more strife, just endless days and endless nights
of wine and song and dance.

Come my prince ,come  fly with me ,why not take a chance,
Forget your wife, come live your life ,it's time for new romance.

A tiny pill, is all it takes, a sniff of fine white powder,
Will keep you high, so you can fly up to the magic tower".

So ,the prince he ate the tiny pills and sniffed the fine white powder,
And soon he was addicted, to the magic of their powers.

Away he flew ,up to the moon, beyond the Milky Way,
Where stars came out and winked at him and beckoned him to play.

Everyday he ate the pills and sniffed the fine white powder,
But everyday...he needed more as they slowly lost their power,

And now he couldn't fly as high and that was terrible thing,
for there were more a more feathers missing from his wings.

Then one day ,while he flying, reaching for his dreams,
He felt the power leaving him ,and he began to scream.

Down and down and down he fell, crashing to the ground;;
Lost dreams and broken promises, lying all around.

And like a wounded bird with broken wings, that cease to flutter,
The truth rained down upon his head ,as he floundered in the gutter

Oh what a crazy fool he'd been, blinded by the knight,
Could he ever win her back ,and make the wrongs all right?

He cried and cried, into the night, regrets were his companions,
Until he heard the sound of hooves ,rumbling through the canyon.

Through tear-filled eyes, he saw a herd, of royal beauty stallions,
And perched upon ,their royal backs ,were knights in white so gallant.

Carefully ,they scooped him up ,and carried him away,
Into the East ,they rode from hell, for three long nights and days.

When long at last, with horses spent ,they reached their destination,
They placed him in the hands of God ,for this was His creation.

Great warmth began to fill his heart ,and light shone from his eyes,
He felt the gentle hand of God, and he began to cry.

Such happiness. he had never known. it lifted him so high,
He spread his wings, up to the sky ,and he began to fly.

Up to the sky, on mended wings, with angels all around him,
He heard the voice of God ring out, and totally surround him.

"I've done my part ,my fallen prince ,but the rest is up to you,
Fly straight and true, and don't look back ,no matter what you do.

Lead not thee to temptation son .for if you do, you'll die,
Fly straight and true, my fallen prince, or forever, cease to fly".

Will the prince ,journey home again ,to his fair and lovely maiden
Or, will temptation ,lead him back, to the evil Black Knight Satan?


Details | Verse | |

Periphery

On a path laid as a snake,
Trodden down a winding wake,
Curls and slithers into night,
To thrones of ever-dimming light;
I hold still and gripped with feeling
In a mist that wraps concealing,
And I glimpse her flicker by
From the corner of my eye.

Heartless granite fissures break
At prayers to God of souls to take,
In their vessels bled to white,
Shells of failure and of blight;
It snares and snags as ivy veins,
Upon the brickwork, grasps and strains,
And I catch her ribbons fly
From the corner of my eye.

Set adrift in this domain,
The dead volcanoes that refrain,
Never smoking nor erupt
For the end was sharp, abrupt;
I feel the ether of despair
Envelope skin with frosted air,
I spot the crystals melt and die
From the corner of my eye.

No space for sorrow to explain,
To tell how love was savaged, slain,
The stir of breath can bare disrupt
Or wall of silence interrupt;
A fear of days, in truth, compare
With nights that always hunger there,
Unguarded moments, her I spy
From the corner of my eye.


Details | Free verse | |

Wondrous Kite

She walks away.

Girlish and glorious
laughter
floats
through air
like a kite on a string
that pulls
tautly slipping through tightened fingers,
burning a little,
and slicing through 
if ever left unattended,

so preciously tensioned
against the cold
benumbing
wind. 

Tears begin to flow
but I do not know . . .
my heart?
or the wind?
If my heart, then am I sad
to be here on the ground
or joyful
to be watching the kite
fly? 

In answer, a quivering.

A wisp.

"She will not fall or float away while I hold her thus. 
She will be beautiful for me."

Wondrous.


Details | Free verse | |

The Day That Died Forever

When I am Colder,Older and then alone...
I will collect the sky on my own...
When the art has faded and the days then fade-
when everyone has gone away...

I may finally see what never was saw
.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh............... the quiet sky

The unlit room which bares my end...shows the flashes of my pains my joys and sins.
This life has been a strange one since the curtains were drawn
These paper and plastic figures have clouded the dawn

I was once younger,foolish,and obsessed with truth
Now I am bitter,sour,dour faced with my heart under shoe

The children were all searching or lost in a crowd
All weeds in a garden...growing vile and foul

Though beauty was sold it never came true
Obsessions and vanity have traveled safe through

Materials and poison and everything lost
have been burned in the fires or lost in the frost

I stand face to mirror tearing my being apart
Winding thoughts of love,pain,god,and art

As the sun sets and the darkness grows
I too shall follow this pattern in tow

Death has a friendly hand and a pretty face
She has given me comfort as I leave this place

The wars have occurred,humanity's lost
Souls have been burnt in the fire or lost in the frost

Day was Life,Night is Death

And the latter has given counsel on my final steps


Details | Free verse | |

Baking Chocolate

For shame I write again
And indulge your memory 
Doting on you baselessly,
As though you’re a man
For shame, I have no remedy

Because as a child, I could never know
And as I am, you couldn't trust my word
That I know you and I know hardship
Because while there was always milk for me
You are have always been
 baking chocolate

And though I didn't know how unpleasant it would be
I faithfully escorted that dry dust to my mouth
Because you already owned me, 
and my passion was arcane
I forfeited to you
To become fortitude, your stronghold
I gladly wed the night; I gladly wed your savagery
Soliloquies decorating the shrine in my heart
For you, my one good thing 

I have no capacity to abandon
And I don’t know how to love conservatively 
And as easy as spitting you out could be
I let you fester, 
I let you make a home in me 

But even now, I can still taste you in my mouth, 
Where years should’ve made you disappear
 And you’re nauseating
You’re the bitter product of bitter chocolate
I’m older now
 and my youth won’t erase you
Nor passing moments, nor justified rage
 And my heart is empty plastic
In my own hands
And  you marauded me

I hate you more than there are words for
My resilience has long melted away
Yet you always have a hand on me
And I can’t make you leave

Eternal sunshine’s burning me
My lips remember, my lips grieve

For shame,  I can’t forget you…


Details | Verse | |

Tough

A vignette of domestic violence and the weird rationale of love amidst such 
circumstances - adapted from how it was depicted to me by a female friend and 
taken from her own personal experience.

I was defined china and porcelain, 
Inlaid glass flowers and gently spoken;
Fragile in doe-eyed delicacy, 
Pleading and begging not to be broken.

I loved him with total forgiveness, 
Did not, could not, would not understand 
The dark chaos mood of lability, 
The spontaneous violence of his hand.

Blue and black bruises indecorously swelled 
Question marks about tear brimmed eyes;
And I wept and despaired in confusion, 
Smashed and grabbed by wherefores and whys.

How could he dream to hurt me so, 
The brutish malediction of his touch?  
How could he stand to hurt me so, 
When he knew I loved him so much?

And now the years have drained away 
Like sweeping veils of rain;
The agony of our breaking apart 
Ever haunts me with anguish and pain.

I still see him some times, 
Rarely, truly out of the blue, 
On the old territory of familiar streets 
When unconsciously passing through.

And always shook by the stalking truth,
A lancing bright-bladed knife,
And with dogmatic aching my heart lets me know
He was always the love of my life.

And I know there's no sense to be had
When I look to the heavens above,
Just the sad and lonely heart of the matter:
You never can choose whom to love.


Details | I do not know? | |

Sweet Nothings

I miss when I could just curl up and cry within your arms,
I have someone else who I can do that with now,
But still I miss when your arms felt right around me,
My heart still crys, at whats broken and missing,
There once was this connection, this bond between us two,
I dont know what happened to it, why this feels so different, do you?
And though I love this other, my heart still loves you too,
Dont ask me who I love more, because my answer might not be true,
I love you both, with all my heart, you've just hurt me more,
But still the dreams sometimes seep in between the cracks of our closed door,
And still I see myself, again within your arms, 
Only this time, I would be there, forever and ever more,
Love, can you tell me, what happened to us then? 
Why is it that when I touch you, you feel like less even then a friend,
My heart says yes, it wants you, but my body rejects yours like a plague,
My lips dont whisper sweet nothings with yours~ within the years hidden in the days,..


Details | I do not know? | |

Sweet Nothings

I miss when I could just curl up and cry within your arms,
I have someone else who I can do that with now,
But still I miss when your arms felt right around me,
My heart still crys, at whats broken and missing,
There once was this connection, this bond between us two,
I dont know what happened to it, why this feels so different, do you?
And though I love this other, my heart still loves you too,
Dont ask me who I love more, because my answer might not be true,
I love you both, with all my heart, you've just hurt me more,
But still the dreams sometimes seep in between the cracks of our closed door,
And still I see myself, again within your arms, 
Only this time, I would be there, forever and ever more,
Love, can you tell me, what happened to us then? 
Why is it that when I touch you, you feel like less even then a friend,
My heart says yes, it wants you, but my body rejects yours like a plague,
My lips dont whisper sweet nothings with yours~ within the years hidden in the days,..


Details | Free verse | |

the PoEt and THEE GREATEST POEM NEVER SPOKE

WAIT!

the poet laughed
there's love to document
there's passion, there's hate!

WAIT!

where's my pen, my typer? 
my life is my art

Living passed by and the world did it's thing, rotating, tilting, and changing
but the poet sat idle, conjuring thought 
he dreamt aloud, awake 
of simple times
he drank
he smoked, lied, and bargained
yet never put into motion 
what realities he should have, could have sought 
funny how it happens for the poet
poetically tragic, this nothing whatsoever 


WAIT!

cried the overweight, medicated poet
cornered by walls of his own brain
such a creative mind wasting away
a mind with fingers
no friends, and without eyes

the Poet scurried, smelling rain one day
so he looked to the window and wrote "Thee Greatest Poem Never Spoke"
trees gave leaves to fall and winter gave way to crawl 
then blew it's load
the poet spoke again,

WAIT!

these beauteous seasons are the very reason my pen leaks prolific ink of lines so great
then spring sprung 
bells rang and flings flung
but the poet failed to dare to love
women and children and angels passed his tearful face
and he gasped

WAIT!

I must write and express and show this amazing grace
 
sadly summer came and went again
upon it's glorious exodus the poet wrote and wrote
more and more of stars he never saw 
and of rain his skin failed to feel
and of things he could only imagine
tears of everything doused the poet's pale cheek and he ate the pain which enveloped him
dim lights appeared as a nightmare 
and finally one bright light of tunnel vision sizzled his name 
the name he'd long since forgotten
just like everyone else

wait...the poet whimpered
wait... 

tho' fate 
would not,
could not,
WAIT.


Details | Elegy | |

I Remember

I remember all the nights we use to play, 
but now I can't play anymore because your not here today.
Your here in my heart and that will never fade away.
Sometimes I would be a hard-headed child,
but in your eyes you saw an angle smile. 

I love you like God love the family, unconditionally.
I remember your brown eyes, gray hair, for you were wise.
I also remember when you had to leave, so your soul could be free.
See, I'm older; more mature, and understand what's going
on, but back then I was only four.

I still remember that day like it was yesterday. 
Well, you were buried that day and everyone had a sad face. 
I remember that day very well indeed, as I looked at you 
and pleaded that you wouldn't leave me. 
Now you’re gone and I have to be strong for both 
of us, so our love can live through people who love us.


Details | Rhyme | |

the Oracle in Love

       She laced her eyes 
closed with the ties
    of lover's binding vows

     she's flying blind
to prick your mind
    with thoughts 
   she's writing now.

She's gained conclusions
      from her flight,
and virtues from your smile,

     she felt your face
  in blinding grace,
     she glorifies your style.

    The double helix
spirals on
   to form us as it may,

    we choose another one
to be
   a place for us to stay.

The atmosphere 
    there crackles,
with lightning
    on her tongue,

    She spins around,
in sightless sound,
     and shatters..........
          deaf and dumb.


Details | Verse | |

My Tears



As always I push open the creaking iron gate,
     And follow the winding road that leads me to you;
The wind takes my hair and is pushing me forward,
             Burnt orange and yellow leaves are whirling.

The air is cool as it whispers in the ancient trees,
     Flowers are decaying on the tombstones I pass;
I can hear my own breathing in this silent dead place,
             And then I am standing at your engraved stone.

I did not bring you flowers on this cold fall day,
     My forever, ever love is all that I hold in my heart;
Not a single day, my darling, do I not think of your face,
             All I can do, my love is . . . leave you my tears.



________________________________
September 5, 2014


Verse


Written by, Broken Wings



Theme - leave you my tears

Entered into the contest, The Poet II, gautami phookan

Second Place

   


Details | Rhyme | |

If Loving You Were Easy

If loving you were easy
I'd love you like I should.
I've opened up my heart to you
and tried as best I could.
I don't expect reassurance.
I know some think I'm cold.
I needed your love when I was young.
But now I'm just too old.
I've lived without your guidance.
I've lived without your hugs.
I'm sure you don't remember
a time without your drugs.
You chose the life you're living.
I wished you all the best.
Now it's time to say goodbye
and lay this thing to rest.
If loving you were easy,
I'd love you like I should.
I've opened up my heart to you
and tried as best I could.


Details | I do not know? | |

Questions for Dad

How do you do it...
   arrested again.
Paroled for awhile
   then back to the pen.
We know you don't mean it.
   We know that you care.
But when will you show it?
   When and where?
As much as we love you
   our hate runs that strong.
Why can't you stay with us?
   What are we doing wrong?
Are your friends to blame?
   Did they help cause this bust?
What should we feel?
   Who do we trust?
Who do we love?
    Who should we hate?
Why do you burden us
    with all your stuff
       on our plate?
It's too much to handle,
     we're too young to deal.
With the heartache we have,
     with the pain that we feel.

Your our Daddy, our idol,
     our mentor for sure.
Our anger, our hope,
     we need you here more.
Your smile, our tears
     your our happiness found.
Our twinkle, our fears,
     the reason we frown.
You want us to love you
     you want us to care
But Daddy, how can we...
     when your never there!


Details | Rhyme | |

Slowly Dying

I'm overcome with grief
as I slowly die inside.
They tell me this is normal, 
and everything will be alright.

I can't seem to eat a meal,
or close my eyes to dream.
All I visualize is your face, 
then accidentally scream.

I can't seem to leave my home, 
whats the point anyways?
Without you standing by my side
life is nothing but a waste.

Maybe soon enough I'll join you, 
as I slowly die inside.
When I finally enter the gates of pearl
everything will be alright.


Details | Haiku | |

Haiku 1

I bled myself dry
because of you slaughtered, drained
exsanguinated


Details | I do not know? | |

Rainy Day Blues (final resting place revised)

You're locked in your room and tied to your bed
There's blood on your pillow from the hole in your head
You lay and you wait, just welcoming death
No fight or struggle as you breathe your last breath
The rain is cold as it thunders and storms
But your blood flows red, silent and warm
The wind blows hard as it howls through the trees
You lay motionless as I beg and I plead
A tear drop falls on your pale colored skin
There's a smile as you whisper faintly, "Allison"
A gun shot to your head, a bullet to the brain
No matter how you word it, the results are just same
The lighting will flash and the thunder will roar
Time will move forward, but for you no more


Details | I do not know? | |

Is this what you call fate?

I know i am fresh 
To know the twist and turns of life
But for as long as my soul is covered by flesh
I am trying hard to survive

I am trying hard to understand
to uncover the truth that blends
I pray that my love will never end
Even though bad times i have to hand

It is hard to control my destiny
It is harder to control my fate
Though at times help comes in handy
I don't know who to believe and what conclusion awaits

I've heard that love is pain
But i choose to ignore the recent claims
When love gets into fame
That tells me who to blame

Who else to blame if it isn't me
My heart is pounding recklessly
I can't bear the future i'm forced to see
I can't listen to my heart's pleas 

Tell me my fate that awaits
Show me the bait i have to take
So i could prevent the birth of hate
And the feeling of heartbreaks...


Details | Ballad | |

To My "Layla"

Where is that woman
I so loved so long ago?
And for reasons unfathomed
I love as much still

Beauty beyond compare
to me
Simple in thought
But complex in love

Years of remorse
have run their course
They have worn me down
I admit, I deserve no more
For as i guess oft happens
A fool will hurt himself

Where is she now? I wonder
Does she sleep alone like me?
Or next to someone
She wishes is elsewhere

Or, if blessed with luck-
Entwined in the arms
Of one she so loves

Oh, if it could be me
Foolish me...
Unable to endure
A love so intense
I felt I was losing
my identity
I found this powerful
love, this passion,
almost an obsession
Too scary to deal with

So I walked-
and 35 years later
so much
would love to
retrace my steps...
leading to her...

At least to know
how her life has unfolded
Not to rekindle
Love's embers
I'm not the same
as I was then

Worn down by years
Of abuse and pain
Yet every day
I think of her again

The apple of my eye
Layla incarnate

Once bodies entwined
Sweetest hours of my life

I'm a fool
So much a fool
Regret is my daily meal
Fools deserve no more 

For many years gone by,
And many years to come
I will regret...
The acts of this fool."






Details | I do not know? | |

Listen to Her Cry

How can you not understand?
How much I need you in my life.
If only you could be my friend
And listen to me when I cry.
A girl needs her father’s love
To be willingly; not forced.
When she trembles inside out
She really needs to hear your voice.
Not only setting certain rules.
Or telling her what not to do
But also in a quiet time.
Just telling her she’s really fine.
Don’t talk to her about mistakes.
She won’t forget them anyway.
Just tell her it’ll be okay
And listen to her when she cries.
She really needs her dad tonight
To be at home; to hold her tight.


Details | Lyric | |

My teardrop

When you see a raindrop fall
It is my teardrop after all
When you see a star that would shine
Remember that the teardrop was mine
When you feel the warmth of the sun
Know that it's my heart that you had won
When you see a raindrop fall
It is my teardrop after all
When you see the sky of blue
Put in your notes that I love you
When you feel so alone
I am just on the other side of the phone
When you see a raindrop fall
It is my teardrop after all
When you shall cry
Remember my love for you will fly
When you see a rainbow
In the sky is where my teardrop will flow
When you see a white dove
Just think about the teardrop that falls down from up above  
When you are feeling blue
Remember that my teardrop is for you
When you see a teardrop fall
It is my teardrop after all.


Details | Free verse | |

Struggle

Primal, basal, beyond my awareness
How could I have been so careless
I let the line between real and fantasy
Become clouded through my jealousy
The fire rose, consumed, burned away
And left the ashes in its wake
I still search for just one burning ember
To reawaken feelings of forever
But destruction is all around
I fall to my knees, hit the ground

Can you hear me scream?

Blatant, cold, and calculating
Every part of this wrapped up in hating
The one who did this thing to me
Imprisoned when I was set free
The water rises, to wash away
All the promises we once made
If still one ember ever burned
It burns no more, lesson learned
Still destruction is all around
And I can’t lift myself from off the ground

Can you see me cry?

Detached, impartial, contemplating
Why am I here, why am I waiting
Just what am I waiting for
A broken window, an open door
A key to tell me who I am
So I can learn to live again
Without the fear, without regret
To bring back balance and pay the debt
To clear debris from hallowed ground
Unchained, but broken, I am bound

Can you feel my battle?


Details | Rhyme | |

Silenced by Anger

Silenced by anger,
I can’t believe my ears,
you told me that you loved me,
but the truth remains clear.

You lied to me, you selfish jerk,
and it is I, who must pay
for all the love and laughter,
that left me in a daze.

I can’t believe that I listened
to the words that you said.
The truth wasn’t missing,
it was dancing in my head.

You used to act like you loved me,
But I guess the angers fed.
So forgive me as I leave this place,
Selfish, cold, and dead.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Broken Lover

People look her way
But they don’t understand
No one knows the pain she’s felt
The tears she’s cried
And the life that has died.

There was once a time
When the love was alive
The tears never came 
And the smile never faded

The girl up above was the one who knew to love 
The one who’s heart and smile was free 
The one who used to believe in her dreams

Now that girl is gone 
Replaced by one who slowly fades away 
Destined to walk her own death 
Fading to a broken lovers grave.

Walking as if the life was gone
Speaking to a ghost of her past
Screaming to be free 
And wanting to believe again.

Will the life longed for 
Ever be relived?
Will the love she searches for 
Ever be received ?

Or is a broken lover…
 all she has come to be?


			



Details | Bio | |

Re-virginized

I don’t need
His seed inside me
Or his or him, or their
Passion doesn’t ignite
Anything else but hate

I detest clumsy hands all over my body
Tainting what was once
All mine
I don’t need kisses to make me happy
Happiness won’t ever make up for what
I had to endure once he was gone
Left me for a weaker woman
Who would let
Things happen
Over over and over again

I cannot make love without love
Inside this soul of mine
I will not give into pressures of the teenage mind 
I refuse to become a product of lust
Misuse of an emotion so strong
That it makes it more then a solitary race
More then a slippery slide of distaste, full, Action

Respect myself and me
I am pure still
After the fact and forever on
Born again in different seeing eyes
More important then the rest
My own
I am re-virginized


Details | Rhyme | |

Suffering

One day I will look up to the sky and say
“God, I wish him well…”
But until that day, I’m buried here
Inside my living hell

Eventually, I’ll move past the pain
With a story left to tell
But right now, I am suffering
Once, I knew him very well

There will be no goodbye this time
It just simply has to end
There is no making up for lying
You should not betray a friend

The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do
Was through choked tears say
“I don’t love you….”
I didn’t have to be this way

Someday I know I will forgive
For forgiveness sets us free
And on that day I’ll truly live
Without regrets of broken dreams

But for now, I’ll remain silent
In quiet, dark despair
With the echoing reminders
Of a voice that didn’t care


Details | I do not know? | |

Condemnation

One will never understand
the strength of desire and passion
that the slightest touch of his hand
would force me into submission.

Walking in the darkness
hiding behind closed doors
living with the sadness
that this love could last no more.

I yearned to scream out loud
that I loved him with all my heart
but forbidden loves stay underground
I guess we knew that right from the start.

In our own world we would live
together, forever more
me, I had my life to give
but could we beat this mental war.

The day had come to say goodbye
but for me it came too soon
as deep inside I wanted to die
my heart was out of tune.

So here I sit and long for the past
waiting to feel free
but still my life is overcast
so I live within the memory.


Details | I do not know? | |

It's All My Fault

It's all my fault, you see,
I'm the one who did this to me
I say "I love you" when I don't 
Promise to do things when I know I won't 
Everything I love, I throw away
And then as I wander astray
I never even stop to
Find my way back to you.
My life's falling apart in front of me
And I lower down to a knee
To make things like they were before
But, then, comes a feeling I can't ignore
The kind of feeling I've learned to dread
The feeling of darkness filling my head.
Am I stupid or just insane, 
Starting to break from all the pain?
Often I lay awake at night 
Wondering if my life will ever be as bright 
As it was that with that wondrous kiss
That promised me eternal bliss. 
There's so many people, but yet I still feel alone
So many friends, yet I'm still on my own.
Sometimes I just don't know what to do
As I look up to a sky that's no longer blue.
Will someone, please end this insanity
So I don't lose all my humanity
Or will someone just kill me
And put me out of my misery.
Because all I seem to do is cry
And all I really want to do is die.


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost all Alone

Lost all alone.
Waiting patiently for companionship.
Reruns of the old.
Savage cruelties unleashed.
Unable to share this.
An undesirable partner.
Giving with nothing recieved.
Demanding any explanation.
Stripped of all dignity.
Left naked and weak.
Deserving of much.
Accredited none.
No experience fair.
Doesn't matter to any.
Unrelenting heartbreak.
Administered by most.
Cared by none.
Forgiveness unaccepted.
Lost all alone.


Details | Rhyme | |

Evergreen

So stay the gold.
foolish thoughts wasted 
apon the old.

Your never alone except day and night.
did we forget the cause.
Or just grow tired of the fight.

Evergreen moments dont exist in books.
Or pictures trapped apon the page.
The wisdom of life is nothing without the rage.
 
Into a maze we go blind.
Far past  the moment.
Nothing is left to remind.


Motions are not feelings. 
Along with contracts and lies.
So many loser's  with there double dealings.

Taken from the city lights
I lost all that was obscene.
My pasion was turned into my evergreen.

Time you change all but me.
Casting many storms.
That turn  so very deep  within the sea.

Erased are thoose moments
apon the slate  is clean.
I wonder do you ever reflect my sweet evergreen.


Details | Rhyme | |

No Answer

 I try not to do it, but still I pick up the phone
 Then I dial the number I've known far too long
 And though it hurts to do it, I wait to hear the voice
 That never really answers, and I forget I had the choice
 Of course he knows who's calling, but he already forgot to care
 About everything he ever said, and everything we shared
 So I fell too hard this time, but really didn't I know
 When I said it was over, he'd so easily let me go


Details | Free verse | |

The Frog And The Fairy Princess - Part - 1 - A Collaboration

I hope Inside this sorrow
It will give me strength to Love
Dark jewels In my weakness
Through rainbow colour mist galling dewdrops
Wishing a thousand miles away dreaming

In the sorrow of a grieving heart
Beaten down with sorrow and despair
Darkness dispells the light of my Love
The Angels' tears fall with my own sorrows' river flows
The grief of Love destroys before life's sun

In the valley howling winds
Lifting waves crashing Inside
Ocean coils spreading ashore
Landing upon the golden distant sands
Of never ending joy of paradise 

In memories veil we swim within chasms of light
Love abounded no ripples In Souls' ocean
Heavens' fields of blue sprayed with golden Joy
We Loved In fields' of Gods' flaming glory
In grief bring back Love filled days and nights

A little frog sitting on his lily leaf sad
Rubbing his googly eyes with little webbed fingers
Wishing his Princess begging deeply kiss away
His deep loneliness holding Love a special dream

Now In her anguish fairy princess on her knees does beg
Love shall return to rust laden heart
Time now to search for Loves' Rose memories
Weep not my Love spell broken by Loves' sweet kiss
I come by rainbow bridge


A Collaboration by Liam Mc'daid and Michael Clarke.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

To the Boy Who Could Not Sleep

You cannot sleep, you tell me
spitting forth frustration
angry sentiments of a scorned heart
Your dreams are robbed
You have been ridiculed 
all day 
in a world where 
You don’t quite understand the rules
every word you spoke today was the wrong one
You crossed lines unknowingly
doors were shut in your face doors
of opportunity
fame
Your love and passion 
which you felt was real
was mocked—
so you cannot put away such thoughts
You come to me frowning, heated
seeking sympathy
But son,
you are young
you know not what ropes 
truly bind the soul
what thoughts throttle the heart
in the darkness of night
you have been betrayed, deceived
by strangers amongst whom 
you sought fortune and acknowledgement
but this, I tell you
is no shame, no grief
you have not felt the cuts 
of those you thought dearest
those you thought you knew 
that hair those lips those eyes that heart
now coloring and darting away
leaving icy holes
in your chest
you know not yet 
that the curse of a sleepless night 
does not burn with anger
it is cold, so cold
and so lonely
So say not another word now
and go
Go
you may sleep in peace
for you are not a father.


Details | Marsiya | |

I'm my Daddy Made Over

Dedicated to my Dad Jerry W. Niday 3/20/1952 - 6/18/2013


I am who I am because of him
He’s the reason for my son’s name
He gave me my courage & my strength
To stand tall even when standing wasn’t easy
Stand for the ones who can’t
To think and fend for myself
I’m my Daddy made over

Taught me to fight back 
To never back down
How to pick myself back up
When I’ve been knocked down
Fight for what I believe
I’m my Daddy made over

He gave me my stubbornness 
Gave me my pride
Gave me my temper
Taught me not to take crap
To speak my mind no matter who
Work for what I want
I’m my Daddy made over

How to keep my emotions in check
How to handle large amounts of pain
When in trouble he always had my back
He knew how my mind worked better than anyone
I got it from him
I’m my Daddy made over

Even though he’s gone
I’ll stand and continue on 
I may stumble I may fall 
May even get hurt along the way
But I’ll pick myself back up
I’ll dust myself off and stand tall
I’m honored and proud to say
I’m my Daddy made over


Sabrina Niday Hansel



Details | Couplet | |

A Failed Marriage

My shallow waters have failed to hide the deeper agony pulsating inside. I could forgive your lies but not forget. Do you have remorse, do you feel regret? Feelings were buried in a shallow grave as we failed to mend the love God gave. You failed to speak and I failed to listen, Fingers are pale where golden bands once glistened. Broken hearts called to each other refusing to bend. Not so long ago, I called you my best friend. Now, I'm left to grieve my failed marriage. The love we shared, your words disparaged. I could forgive your lies but not forget. Where is your remorse or display of regret? I can no longer burden myself with this shame. Standing tall, I have given my sorrow a name. I struggled to save our once happy home, but you chipped it away when you decided to roam. So goodbye I shout to you and to failure! Moving forward, your love is no longer my cure. My life is becoming a new adventure, and memories of your face are becoming a blur. Yes, I could have forgiven your lies, tried to forget, if your heart felt remorse or just a little regret. * a work of fiction For Nailed or Failed Contest (Black Eyed Susan)


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

SILVER LINING

?The day my Silver lining vanished away?

I was traumatize, 
After walking through the bedroom door.


No movement, or sign,
Not one single breath left behind, 
the canvas has been painted black.
Not a single image on the wall, 
I took one last gasp----- of nothing,
No hint of musk in the air,
Silently, I stare, to the unknown 
The positive aspect, gone,
My unseen benefit is missing,
The absent suitcase,
The only clue!
The burglar took it all, 
the garbage stood alone.
This is not my home. 


Chaotic, disconcerted
After walking through the bedroom door.

by;PD


Details | Lyric | |

Never Thought I'd Fall In Love (With My Best Friend)

(Chorus): Never thought I’d fall in love with my best friend
Sit on the phone and talk for hours about anything
He knew everything about me
He was there through my ups and downs
But I found out he fooled around
I’d never thought I’d fall in love with my best friend

(Verse 1): Its sad how things change
Seems like I want to put things back in reverse
Now that I see I feel my love life is a curse
So many times he say he’d stick by my side
There wasn’t anything I never had to hide
I never thought I’d find myself in love with you
Now what am I going to do 

(Bridge): I go back and look at the relationship
you left me over someone you never met
tell me how did you fall in love over the internet
Why did you do this to me
Boy it cost so much stress
My heart is broken and I’m in so much mess
Never thought I’d fall in love with my best friend 

(Chorus): Never thought I’d fall in love with my best friend
Sit on the phone and talk for hours about anything
He knew everything about me
He was there through my ups and downs
But I found out he fooled around
I’d never thought I’d fall in love with my best friend

(Verse 2-Rap): Its crazy how you say its not me, its you so please don’t take it the 
wrong way
Then, I sit and I wonder how in the world you can say this to me
Now wondering, asking myself how can I make you stay
When you was leaving me for this other chick
Now you don’t even want to pick up the phone 
Boy I know you at, I’m here all alone
So you sit there and ignore me baby
I thought I was supposed to be your one and only lady
Now I have to sit here and pretend like nothing ever happened
Tell me how am I supposed to deal with this boo
Im so in love with you
you left me for who?
The answer just hurt me so bad
Now we doing another sad love song
How are you to tell me who was wrong or right
These words I write are quite contrite
But since Im not the jealous type
I’ll let it fly
Its sad how you did me baby boy


Details | Lyric | |

Too Soon, My Love - Too Soon

So, here we are again, my dear
Our wondering hearts are trembling with fear
Of the step we took in the pale moonlight
Now, beholding each other in the bright sunlight.

Remember our plan? We'll take it slow
We'll allow our hearts and love to grow
Without the pressure of passion released
Too soon - but now, where do we go?

Is it time for us now to say good bye -
Do we gather ourselves and give it a try;
Are we done, my love, and now we start
On a future that tears our love apart?

Oh, help me now to understand 
How we lost control of our senses and
That now, our passion being fulfilled
We ponder if our love is stilled.

Yes, here we are again, sweet dear,
Two wondering hearts now filled with fear
For the step we took while under the moon
Was it too soon, my love - too soon?


Details | Free verse | |

I fell in like with you

Inspired by one of my favorite bands, Rise Against, and the song is called,
“Ever-changing” (Acoustic). Please listen to this song if you don’t know of it. It’s raw &
powerful.

“Have you ever been a part of something? That you thought would never end. But then, of
course, it did.” –Rise Against

“I fell in ‘Like’ with you”

With her smile
I melted unto oblivion’s redemption
Candy coated perceptions, windows’ gap
Seeping brilliance refreshment

Uncertainty resolution, polished
Absorbed into closeness sun
Yet these eyes still…see
Butterflies taking notice, missing you…as you stood in front of me

Strong, yet soft legs
Foundation of my face to rest upon
Scars…fading
A cremated sin 

Yet, elongated moments of silence
Created abruption’s new face

The face of change
When she turned to me and said
“I’m not sure, anymore”

Emotional lullaby, rocking me to sleep
New battles with spectral flashback
Trying to get under my skin, a drunken tick facing demise

Phoenix’s sunrise, rejuvenating my recycled defenses
Yet, today, these rays just aren’t bright enough to burn sadness away

And with these sounds of storm clouds & Fall on horizon’s breath
These grounds are so familiar, yet bittersweet
This heart doesn’t want to be enlightened by karma today

It wants to be held for how it shines now

Denied…distance wins again today
Slavery whipped punishments in miles and blocks
This must end

Because I try to keep lines open to get a call from you
Yet all I hear are booty calls with busy signals

And yet something has kept me here too long
But can they leave me, if I’m already gone?

Something has kept me here too long
Karma’s laughter

But, through it all, I will shine

…

How I wish my mere presence can bring joy’s tear to her eye

Sadly though, now, the lines are drawn
Yet I wonder if this feeling is gone
Have the best parts of this…come and gone?

…

Maybe I’ll never know the truth

Perhaps she was misguided by jealousy’s deprivation
Deteriorating heart’s splendor

While I fell in “like” with her

Perhaps “Better Man 2.0” appeared from Cloud 9’s fallacy

While I fell in “like” with her

Perhaps
She held onto the past

As I, drawn to waterfall’s edge
Allowed myself

To let go…and F
A
L
L

© Drake J. Eszes
“We adore those who hurt us. Yet, we hurt those who adore us.” -Anonymous


Details | Elegy | |

I Need Your Help Daddy

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here

I can’t get back in control of my emotions 
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy

I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help 

Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance 
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help







Details | Narrative | |

Alone in a Hospital Room - An Alzheimer's Song

Don’t you remember, love, how we danced that first night;
beneath the sun’s rays, toes dipping in the cooling sand, 
to the tune of our favorite song –
with me humming the best I could – 
(I sounded terrible, but you told me I sounded divine, remember?)
while falling all over myself, and your delicate feet; 
and you, trying so hard not to laugh as I made such a fool of myself!
Did you ever think we would go 
from being love-sick teenagers dancing on the beach, 
to a couple of old-timers reminiscing 
about our best years – our long ago days together? 

Honey? 
Sweetheart, please…
If there is any part of that teenage girl 
left within that beautiful head of yours…please; 
please, just look in my eyes as you once did…
look at me, sweetheart…
Don’t you remember? 

My love, do you hear? 
They’re playing our favorite song…



*Inspired by Izzy Gumbo's Solfege Contest
I really hope I did this right! :)


Details | Rhyme | |

My Favourite Coffee Cup

Another cup of coffee spilt,
Upon an egg-shell shirt of silk.
It didn’t really have a chance,
Caught up in all the circumstance.
It cracked against the tabletop,
A trembling hand from whence it dropped.
It didn’t mean to get in the way,
It just so happened, was, that day.
“On purpose”, it had set him off,
One gulp and he began to cough.
My fault, I know, he drank too soon -
And banged it down against the spoon.
Enraged, he throws the cup at me,
Still steaming like a cup of tea;
I caught the cup - it’s mould intact,
But couldn’t catch the water’s slap.
While standing there I caught his too,
And felt my cheek turn black and blue;
It slipped out of my hand and fell,
And smashed apart like oyster shell.
It’s my mess, I’ll mop it up ~
     I broke my favourite coffee cup.


Details | Free verse | |

Moments In Time

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark

The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been 
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark. 


Details | Triolet | |

In the Aftermath of Love and Tragedy: Heloise and Abelard

"Then there is no more left but this, that in our doom the sorrow yet to come shall be no less than the love we two have already known" (Words of Heloise to Abelard after her pregnancy) Like moon on nights of skies un-starred she lived without her Abelard. A parched still plain was Heloise - like moon on nights of skies un-starred. In death she would not lose regard for him who’d been her rain and breeze. Like moon on nights of skies un-starred, she lived without her Abelard. When Abelard put love away, with Church he mightily aligned. The world was not like ours today when Abelard put love away. Not even Heloise could say were she to often cross his mind. When Abelard put love away, with Church he mightily aligned. By Andrea Dietrich For the Famous Couples/DuosPoetry Contest of Heather Ober (based on one of the most interesting love stories I have ever read: Abelard & Heloise)


Details | Rhyme | |

Echos of the Heart

I thought of you today, sweetheart,
which is really nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday,
and the day before that too.

I think of you when I'm alone,
I often speak your name!
I keep your lovely photo,
in a golden picture frame.

Your memory's in my make-up.
it's like another body part!
I promise you, my darling,
I keep it locked inside my heart!

I'm told by friends, as time goes by,
that I will slowly heal.
I have my doubts about it,
because the pain is still so real!

Part of me went with you,
when the Good Lord called you home!
It broke my heart to lose you,
now, I must go on alone!

You're with Him now, in Heaven,
so all that I can do,
is say a little prayer each day,
till He calls me home, with you!

Poetic form:  Rhyme
Ralph Taylor
I love this poem because I wrote
it  to Una, my loving wife of 54 years,
who recently passed away. 



Details | Didactic | |

This silly thing called Love

Craze comes out of barrel of joy,
Joy, what makes you behave coy,
Coyness, a thing that would get a toy
From the soul, hands of a smart lil' boy

That his head bobs in saving his mother,
Mother, the filial original not really similar
Similar? To the father, rasp voice that quiver
From the garden of marital rupture. It'ld linger

Over the elms of gut, ebbing with the tide
Of bliss ended. Never should beings all hide
The love, warmth of family. Filial code to side
A broken china, a shattered shuttle that'ld bide

Brittle bliss. Come in the evenings and laugh
At the debris of the drum, a rumble of cough
Upon anodyne ruble of ruin. Feed from trough
O! Love if you aren't life. Then live quickly, rough.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Love Letter

Dear lover, and soulmate, and friend, How I hold you so close to my heart; If your love for me ever should end, My soul should refuse to take part. Should your mind overpower emotion, And you flood all my sunshine with rain; I'll still send you my truth, and devotion, While my love and best wishes remain. The flow of this pen be the truth, Like an elegant flow of the river; Though denied and rejected such youth, My heart is still sure to deliver. Our miserable love shall fill the distance, Our love has created two holes; Taken apart by social resistance, By those who deny our perfectly fit souls. Such love defined by separation, Without a touch to create a release; Finding my drive in but desperation, Though without you, my love shall not cease. Unless the blood in our hearts have to dry, And mold both our hearts into stone; My heart refraining such love, be a lie, For without you I shall die alone.


Details | Senryu | |

Violinist Composition

I hear the straw hum
stretched chords groan and snag my heart
leaving me composed.


Details | Narrative | |

African Child

" From the debt of my heart"

The African child
Sat behind the bamboo fence
He was sober and tense
Sputtering and wondering.
He forsook the bush meat
And the gathering under the moonlight
For sobriety and the causes of his uncertainties.
His clothes were like dried leaves
His feet like openings in the eaves
He longed to see a brighter tomorrow
He clarified the causes of his sorrow;
Sins of the father,
Fighting not to make things better
Therefore darkening the weather,
Making his destiny falter and bitter.
Tears exuded from the sound of his flute,
His fears enlarged like a parachute
But one thing he never understood,
Watch and pray, oh! African root
For your foundation is stinky, filthy,
Faulty and guilty...... watch and pray.



Details | Rhyme | |

When The Glass Is Empty

Your in a world where I had to leave...

When two hands seperated I found me ...

A crumbling picture that broke my heart...

With all my love and words, it still fell apart...

Days and time to realize what I can't fix...

From a bottle to a glass our lives couldn't mix...

Your eyes blurred as I spilled my soul...

As words fell on ears that wouldn't hold...

Now as the calender drips into new days...

I write of a love that came and went away...

Through all the storms I found a stronger me...

In poetry and love is where I'll be...


{a story of a past love who chose addiction over me}


Details | Haiku | |

The Lost


                                                Innocent lifeless
                                       Pretty children rest in peace
                                             Let us pray for them

                                            The kids were victims
                                       The shooter was victim too
                                             Let's not put a blame

                                                 Exclamation sign
                                          Love family, love it right
                                        Don't loose, hug them tight

                                                  Dear educators
                                           Part of the victims as well
                                               The lifetime tribute

                                           Mourn traveled the world
                                         Burn by cause last on effect
                                               Careful in our steps

Author's Note:
Deep condolance for the victims of Sandy Hook School in Newtown, Connecticut,
Inspired by Zamalea George Poetry "Sweet Children, Sleep"
*****************************************************************
4th place
poetry soup VIGIL" Free Poetry Contest 
Sponsor	SKAT- AB SIN THE-


Details | Rhyme | |

A Soul Awakened

She is the muse to her own sorrow; She is the digger of her grave. She is the painter of her ocean view and every fatal wave. She is the shadow of her Father; She is the darkness in your sight. She is the night without the stars surrounding pale moonlight. She is the music with no words; She is sweet love without the reason. She is your dreamer with submission cold by warmth with every season. She is your pet with cold intentions; She is your baby scared and shaken. She is the bold and pure- the lost and found, She is a soul awakened.


Details | Rhyme | |

Missing Mom

Please please PLEASE
Say you recognize ME - 
My face, my name;
Please say you know me today.
Say you know me, so we can converse,
A normal chat, words unrehearsed.
No more who are you’s, or who am I’s,
No more confusion when I stop by
I miss you mom and you’d miss me too,
If just once, you only knew…



Details | Limerick | |

Borderline Poster Child

Who am I, oh, who am I? Just a poser child Borderline? A series of bold contradictions Led on by doctors false predictions Diagnosing all the time... Angry outbursts fill the air, Throwing objects everywhere, They drug me up, because they're lazy It's too much work to help the crazy I hate the pills, but they don't care Take the drugs, and you'll feel better, We'll smoke some bud, and chill together But even if I smoked the weed Surely that's not all I need The lovely high won't last forever I get attatached to everyone, But when they get too close, I run So many arrows in my heart Cupid shoots, but then I part Not phased by all the wrong I've done So put me on more medication, I'll throw in some dedication, But even then it's not enough This emptiness is still too tough All that's left is contemplation


Details | Rhyme | |

Above the Ocean Path


  " .... can you hear the bells ? ... "
             ~~~   ~~~


I trudge along the ocean path
up the hill to the promenade.
Above the crashing waves I stand,
then memories, my thoughts, invade.

Behind me, white and old, as I,
the abandoned church beckons me.
It says " do you remember when?"
"Think back ... what do you see?"

I remember lilacs blooming
and music from inside,
when this was a church full of life,
when I became a bride.

But now the lilacs fade from sight,
a deserted shell is all I see.
There is no music playing.
Sadness settles over me.

The curtains blow through broken panes.
They billow in the breeze
as if they're trying to escape
out to the beckoning seas.

Once upon a time we were
Alive ! , this church and I.
But we are old and empty now
and ready now to die.


           ~~~   ~~~
"behind the church is a promenade
     they call the Widows Walk"




   ~~~   ~~~   ~~~   ~~~   ~~~   ~~~

    23/09/2011


Details | Rhyme | |

Love finds a way

Life changes like the seasons
Laughter bubbles, tears flow.
There's a quiet look as the mind reasons
to let the sorrow go.

Colors change as hearts do,
Flavors seem so rich.
As a new beginning follows through,
The paths to truth have switched.

Thunder rumbled as lightning struck,
Water flooded the ground.
A different storm, life crumbled.
I watched as it tumbled down.

But now to rebuild with new parts,
Tears provide the mortar.
One fourth respect, One half love
With laughter as the other quarter.

I'll cry tears for all the pain,
But it lessens everyday,
And life has taught to put trust in fate,
And love will find a way.


Details | Lyric | |

Every Twist and Turn

Winter days are cold and gray while summer’s warm and bright. 
Snow covered mountain tops melt away when the time is right.  
Pouring rains and hurricanes will stir up now and then.  
Storms appear from year to year no less than dear old friends.  

                                       Refrain:
All the good and bad and sweet and sad pass by us every one; 
all the lows and highs and tear filled eyes and races still not run.  
All the  gentleness and sweet success and love along the way, 
everything we’ve learned every twist and turn 
every moment of each day. 


Guitar songs and things we long for growing up too fast; 
rocket dreams and what it means to let go of the past.  
Picking, choosing, winning, losing, walking in the rain; 
home run balls and strike-out calls are how we play the game.

                                      Refrain:
All the good and bad and sweet and sad pass by us every one; 
all the lows and highs and tear filled eyes and races still not run.  
All the  gentleness and sweet success and love along the way, 
everything we’ve learned every twist and turn 
every moment of each day. 


Early morning rise and shine the sky is painted bright; 
so many hues for me and you to make us feel all right. 
‘Till the end of day as sunshine fades and darkness closes in; 
we say our prayers to God somewhere wondering 
where does this life end.    


                                      Refrain:
All the good and bad and sweet and sad pass by us every one; 
all the lows and highs and tear filled eyes and races still not run. 
All the  gentleness and sweet success and love along the way, 
everything we’ve learned every twist and turn 
every moment of each day. 

All the   gentleness and sweet success and love along the way, 
everything we’ve learned every twist and turn 
every moment of each day. 


Details | Alliteration | |

Untitled

Dark dull dawn
Sunset sad silhouette
After you’re gone

Pricking pain persists
Grief getting gross
You, still in dreams exist

Lonely long life
Sinking Spirit Subsists
Where, respite lies


Details | Rhyme | |

My Dearest Son Vann

When I woke up this morning, 
I heard you calling out to me.
I realized I was dreaming 
and that you couldn't be free. 

I recall the day you where took from me, 
just before you drove away.
I could still hear you saying, 
Momma I will always love you.
As the Angel's dried my eyes,
I could see where the love lies.

A month or so has come and gone
since you left me here,
to face this world alone.
I never dreamed it would happen this way, 
with you took away and put behind a wall of stone. 
Look to the heavens with the sky so clear and blue,
and always know Momma loves you.


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Turbulence

The voices grow louder, Intensifying with emotion, anger lining every aggressive word. My insides squeeze tighter as the vitriol poisons my mind, How does such hostility exist? As the sound of hatred deepens, The feelings strengthen their grip, like a vice, So tight, I can no longer breathe All the negative emotions I have ever felt, fill me, Threatening to overflow. So long have they been banished… Enough. No more! My mouth opens, An earsplitting scream of pain and suffering shatters the silence, Sobs of sorrow and grief wrack my body, Murderous shrieks of anger and hate, Wretched cries of self-pity and self-loathing, Poison the air. Now, free of these emotions. But the monster still exists Within the dark depths of my mind.


Details | Acrostic | |

Broken Hearts

Broken hearts don't always heal
Regrets may break the seal
Opened then crushed
Killed by Loves demands
Erasing all hope
No longer in command

Hearts that are damaged
Eventually will slow
After life's hardships
Repairs start to show
Tossed onto a pile
Such a sad place to go



Attempting a different style. Hope you enjoy.


Details | Rhyme | |

Widowed Bride

Upon this dark and sunny day,
Kneeling by your flowery display
My teardrops fall like dripping dew,
Remembering my time with you.
Cold hard stone is all that is left
To warm my heart that’s lost, bereft.
Today our life had just begun,
When in a moment, it was done.
I lay, in sorrow, by your side,
Forever yours, your mournful bride.


Details | Haiku | |

Silence

Silence can deceive                                        
One's quiet to understand
Another to destroy


Details | Verse | |

Pour Anything Into My Jar But Your Love Song

I shall not fear of parching for your drop or two is enough
Even a tear would quench more than my lip, my soul
Cry me thrice, laugh me once
Leap more, tiptoe less
Break this earthen vessel if you wish
Just don’t leave a love song behind
For it will just maim a hollow tune
Like a broken violin in incandescent moon
Or a lone shell perpetually humming  
The melody of his unmet clam or hermit.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dear Stranger,

I tried my best
To show you part of me.
The side of me
You've never seen.

I'm more than a daughter;
I'm an artist, a writer,
A sister, a friend
And now to you a stranger.

I have a question,
Have you ever realized
That I have my own voice
And I have my own life?

I'm not relinquishing my soul--
I won't sell it to anyone.
If I can't be myself
Then who will I become?

I have a mind of my own,
A heart and gifts.
I have a life of my own
And it's mine to live.

Yes, you gave me life,
But it's not yours to give.
You gave me this life
So I can learn to live.

Tell me, have we met?
Have you ever seen me?
Or did you just see my music,
My tee shirts and jeans?

It's not what I look like,
It's how I look at myself.
I'm embarrassed to show you it.
Only you and no one else.

Don't be disappointed,
Mad or upset.
Be happy I have morals,
A mind and self-respect.

I'm the person I want to be.
I stay true to myself,
Meaning I'm me.
I'm me for no one else.

I'm smart and independent
Because you made me this way.
I'm no longer fearful and afraid,
That's not how I wanted to stay.

Now do you know me?
Or should I continue?
I'm making you realize,
I'm not being rude.

So make your decision.
Please, I just want an answer.
Not to be disrespectful,
But are you my mom or my mother?


Details | Imagism | |

Guilty Reflection

Looking dead at me in this smeared mirror...
a lost man
tormented
face red
brittle
and teared

stacking excuses 
the longer I stare
this stress abuses 
my conscience with a glare

a guilty reflection warns
my mind is the prison I fear
as I long to escape 
from the  hell I dwell in
right here

who have I become? 
what have I done right?
crossroads appear suddenly 
as fog fills the mirror tonight

darkness owning the room,
prefers I suffer slow
so I proceed with speed 
because it’s the only way I know

tasteless stories
flood my life’s hard bound chapters 
while this smeared mirror reflects tears
dripping from a face 
which was once filled with laughter. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Tears Of Blood-Collab

Relentlessly watching you leave My heart starts pounding away My eyes then begin to bleed As my life slowly slips into decay Blurry eyed I look to the ground Tears leaving scars as they run down my face A blackend heart is all thats left to be found As our love is now gone without a trace Now if you could only feel The pain that rips at my heart This love loss that is so unreal Making me want to just tear you apart Pondering the day I may see Tears of blood flowing down from your eyes Would bring such a pleasure to me With a hope that those tears will never dry
11-17-11 Collaboration: A special thanks to Cali Mitchell For sharing her thoughts and mind with mine :o)


Details | Verse | |

Love Letters

Like daisies in spring
Love letters do bring
To surface, mixed emotions
Heralds devotion…
Come winter, love fades
A satin bow marks day

Shadows appear long
Mocking hearts forlorn
Yet, it is only for a time…
Soon the sun will shine
Broken hearts will heal
The circle of life reveals

By:  Annalise
For:  Nette's "Aloutte..The Cleansing Rite" Contest


Details | Heroic Couplets | |

Stronger Than She Thinks.....

She is a loving mother, 
 her pain is like no other.
Kids taken all at once away.
 A price too steep to have to pay.

Holds her head up high, 
 when all she wants to do is die.
She thinks her pain is masked, 
 but as you see, its no easy task.

She's strong and still fights, 
 even when they say she has no rights.
She dreams of seeing her kids, 
 trying hard to keep the pain hid.

She goes to court and really fights, 
 only to come home alone and cry at night.
Still, she continues this uphill battle.
 Her confidence, they constantly rattle.

Goes to work and tries to smile, 
 as her heart is breaking all the while.
Wish I was a much better sister, 
 who called and let her know I missed her.

I had my own tumultuous issues, 
 it was she who really needed the tissues.
I just had a crappy, low life man.
 By her side her family should stand.

Instead they all give her grief.
 Do they not see her pain will never be brief?
No, they all say they are sorry, but they're full of lies.
 Didn't they know it was her LIFE in demise?

A better sister, I'll try to be.
 Her back she never turned to me.
I hope she knows she's loved and cared for.
 Her smile I'd like to see more.

I know that's no easy task.
 But that I will still ask.
As they push her to the brink,
 She's stronger than she ever thinks.




A combined effort for Kristy.....


Details | Prose Poetry | |

THE RAIN by Anna Lo P

"As I watch the blue skies
 Suddenly turned into gray
 Darkness easily surrounds 
 Their clouds, covered in haze.

 The rain will fall again, I say
 A nature's moment I dismay
 Raindrops will soon touch the ground
 The sad feeling, again I'll be hound.

 Splattering rain, the sound that haunts
 Sweet and sad memories of the man
 Taunting me to remember once again
 The love once lost, never be back again

 Every drop of rain that falls, I pain
 Each drop it falls, my heart is in vain
 "Try to listen" to the rain, he once said
 'Tis like a last goodbye, could not hear I said. 

 The sound of the crying heart, I still hear
 The sound of a weeping soul, I can hear
 The silent tears that they weep,
 The silent scream that echos so deep.

 Listen to every drop of rain
 To it's agony, vain, pain, 
 Listen to the rain as it falls, maybe
 There is your love, every drop after all...xoxo


Details | Rhyme | |

To Just Have You

How I long to have you again
To see your eyes, your face, your grin
It takes my breath away to hear your voice
That heavenly, uplifting, gentle noise

My God, how it kills me to see
You with another man instead of me
Although happier you say you are
From that emotion, I am so very far

If I was to have an addiction
It would be you and that is not fiction
‘Forever’ I was told, time after time
But not forever in heart, just forever in mind

Remember when we first saw each other?
My face turned red and my heart did putter
You gave me a smile and I tried, but smirked
I was finally realizing how true love worked

My heart aches still and yet I ponder
About the next time I let my heart wander
Keeping track of the pain until it is through
Oh, the things I would give to just have you


Details | I do not know? | |

Love hurts, my love

Love is something that I struggle with,
Trying to be loved by that right one,
But can't proceed because I'm ashamed,
Ashamed that I might not love right,
Ashamed that people may look and talk,
Ashamed of how my family would react,
Ashamed by the temptation of my life,
The temptation of my heart,
My mind is saying it's not right,
But my heart is saying yes,
Just be you.
I've tried pleasing people and giving people the world,
And I've been half pleasing back,
I know not to look for anything,
But I can't help it, when I haven't received much.
Love for me is a real struggle,
I'm being loved by someone,
Someone special to my heart,
Someone that shows me the world,
Who gives me encouraging words,
But I can't love back,
For some reason.
From now on I'm a try,
Try to love to the fullest,
I really want to love,
And be loved,
I want to feel love from my family,
Loved by the most beautiful, caring, funniest, serious at time, smart,and well talented person,
Love, love, love,
What a mystery WORD!!


Details | Elegy | |

O BELOVED MOTHER, O BELOVED SISTERS....

O beloved mother, o beloved sisters
departed from me, within years
of each other, to sadden my living;
I spend my days weeping...
reminiscing in my sorrow:
how we laughed together,
and faced another serene tomorrow,
knowing that sharing kindness
would bond our destinies
in ways so devoted and immense!   


O beloved mother, o beloved sisters...
I let the unconsumed joy of memories
take me to those yesterdays
to thank God for our existence,
when we enjoyed the gifts He offered;
yes, even the smallest of them 
were so lovely and precious!
And by watching how you faced death,
I admired how you became the bravest...
slowly letting go of what you possessed!


O beloved mother, o beloved sisters...
do you want me to continue crying,
or smile and console you with a future promise:
that soon we'll embrace one another
under the joyful eyes of our Creator?
Nothing foolish I will do to harm myself;
and wait I will 'till my end comes,
but until then my solemn prayers I'll recite
amid tombstones guarded by triumphant angels...
and bound for Heaven, I'll be smiling!


Details | Rhyme | |

And with a sip

With the bitter taste, she swallows pain
   and hopes to drown what used to be...

She sits alone, in a dim lit room
               and begins to write a longing poem...

 It takes her home....when they were one
                  .....Now here alone,  she lives it all again....

 She writes it down..... each word she's found
              is like the sound of pouring rain

Beyond the glass, the saddened lass
     can see the clouds, a darkened shroud

It brings the storm, and with the wind
    are lonely words, ...
            that swirl around, and pound the door

             
              And with her pen
                             she writes them down

                  She has heard them all before.....

                   "What...might...have...been"

                                                                

                                                                           

The falling rain, can't drown the pain...
So once again, she fills the glass
the saddened lass
will see her world
         amid the amber swirls



------------------------
For Paula's Contest "With a sip"


Details | Free verse | |

The Comfort of a Drunken mind

The Comfort of a Drunken Mind

Lipstick on an empty glass
A Memory of a smile
In my time, don’t you know?
Young girls vied for my attention
Always posing, Heartbreaker to women was I.

God, I will never see her smile again
her voice silent to me
Inside I am a flower without rain
A musician without music
My love waits in a queue,
Full of fools, and whiskey bottles
Ahhh another drink

Yes tomorrow, will be better

 I remember her stare,
Sitting on that chair,
That damn chair.
Drink Darling?
My Blossom of the night,
a smooth talker me.

I broke her dreams
Now Petals on a stormy sea
I remember her scent
Now washed away on the hurricanes breath
Called Whisky.

Ahh another drink, she won’t leave me?
Damn that empty chair
To bed, the morning will bring her back

The bottle sleeps
and the sandman paints his  illusions
Dreams invulnerable to reality.
The glow of dawn, incinerates these imposters
 Fabricated in the monsoon of a drowning brain

 Cornflakes and Barley wine, a man’s breakfast
What now, a snifter I think and another thought?

Love has left this empty chair
Where dreams and happiness dwelt
Where futures were planned
and Where love flowed, intoxicating our lives.
Still, the empty glass remains.
Ahh, another drink, and another illusion to comfort my soul

The bottle is my love now,
And the empty chair, my sentence.
That damned empty chair
Ahh did I tell you,  once I was a heartbreaker?
Come share a drink with me friend?
 


Details | Alliteration | |

My Worst Christmas Ever

Snow falls around us 
as we hug for the last time
Niether of us let go
Our first Christmas apart
since you met my parents
I feel as if holding on forever
could possibly prevent the end
As I look into your eyes
You brush a tear from my cheek
"I'll always love you," you say to me
As we kiss for the final time
I remember all the time spent talking when we met
Knowing you was enough back then
I never thought I would lose you
We finally let go
You brush back my hair and said not to cry
As you walked to your mom's car
it felt as if I died inside
You climbed in and closed the door
and we waved our final goodbye



Details | Quintain (English) | |

Stoned Hearts


The heart pounds as his knuckles touch the door,
ink bleeds, making his apology complete. 
Nobody’s home so he leaves bouquet on wooden floor;
a cloud of unanswered questions as footsteps retreat
Curtains part, as do hearts that never again meet.





12182011124a1147

For Rick’s  5 ~ 8 Line Poetry / Any Theme :)


Details | Free verse | |

The Beauty In Futility

Futility
my heart breathes its last breath
Embraces its own death
Ready to be reborn 
and made anew

Can’t live a lie
Refuse to “do”
and I’ll DIE....
Focus now on why I’ll live 
And never touch the sky. 

I have to forget you
I have to reject you 
But I will never love anyone 
like I loved you.....

I heard you whisper 
and you never knew it
I wiped the tears from your eyes 
But you couldn’t feel it

You’re lost and you’ll never find you
And neither will I 
And I’m so sorry--
but I’m NOT. 

I'll attempt to reset
Try to forget
But you know, I never will. 

Be my dirty little secret 
My very worst-kept secret 
Sweet, smooth, beautiful poison 
My infernal and endless attraction 
towards complete and utter self-destruction 

I fell in love with the devil
And it will take one heck of an angel
To save me from the likes of you....

My addiction 
my confusion
my nightmare
my dream never to come true

Oh, I’ll never forget the times
we never shared
I’ll never forget 
how you were never there

Always me, the stars, and tears
And I ask you,
what kind of life is THAT?

I have to face the facts 
I don’t know what happens now
but it happens without you. 

The stains will always be there
the scars will never fade
But the memory of you----
it HAS to. 

I could carry the torch forever
But it would only consume me
I can’t cry another tear for you
Or I’ll dry up completely

It doesn’t affect you
and you never deserved me

You’ll go on with your life, too
All, all alone
Because you’ll only ever be in love
with you. 


Details | Verse | |

Secretly Obsessed

Obsessed with the thought of you
wondering if it's only me or
if you sometimes remember the sweet things you've said
and if you meant them how I took them
or if I'm just obsessed with what's in your head

Obsessed with your very sentences
Every response I take personal
I know it's selfishness
Have you not noticed my eyes?
They hold secrets that only you can unlock
if you'd just take time to fill the thick juices of my pride
It's just boiling with lust, passion, trust and distrust
and other things I obsess over so much

I find myself writing to free myself from this prison I've created
where only you and I reside
I become confused about what I'm really feeling inside and I 
try to rid the thoughts that are highly debated as false and I
begin to cry and
think of casting love spells so that the universe can deliver this affair
I know it's unfair
but I don't care

I'm obsessed with what hasn't happened between us
I'm obsessed with your heart and that the fact that 
I don't think you've even noticed my selfish innuendos 
and secret undertones that blatantly express my lust
Or maybe you have and you calmly remain in resistance of distrust 
If you could only read my mind by simply touching my fingertips,
I'm sure I'd catch you out the corner of my eye biting your bottom lip
I'm obsessed with the passion and thoughts I think you have
Obsessing over an experience that I may never have....






Details | Rhyme | |

blood transfusion



Details | Prose Poetry | |

GONE Anna Lo PH

? ...GONE... ?

I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt
To lose someone you never really had,
Days can be tough and at times cruel
To much for one to bear alone..

I was hoping that you would say
If I feel that I can't hold on any longer,
You'll take my hand and we'll go through it until together.
When the time comes, that if I can't stand on my own again
And I won't need you anymore, I will let go.
I will let go, if that would make you happy..

If you're lonely and your heart feels empty, 
Just tell me and I will step inside.
But if One Day, you'll be needing that space for someone else
Don't worry and gladly I will give in my space..

Like in a painful, sad love story
It's amazing how easily to fall inlove with someone,
Who simply smiles, talks or stare at you
The only hard thing to do is to make that person fall for you.
They say that time heals all wounds, but all it's done so far
is give me more time to think about how much I miss You..

Okay, so maybe time heals most wounds, right?
Then why does it feel like it?
The wound is getting bigger and bigger every second.
Maybe Love is just a beautiful dream, and then we wake up..

Just as they always say when somebody leaves
When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness,
Instead keep your head up high and gaze for the stars.
For that is where broken hearts have been sent to heal..

What is the opposite of Two?..
...A lonely me, A lonely You...

They say relationships are like glass 
That sometimes it's better to leave them broken
Than risk hurting oneself in trying to put it back together.

Lost in my heart, lost in my mind, I'm lost in your eyes
Entire days, weeks, months, ...a blur...
Flickers of light in the darkness 
Only to be enveloped in shadow once more.
And yet within the shadows of pain
Might be the faint flicker of love once fel,t
And that could make all the darkness worthwhile
Because a single "I Love You"
Is worth more than a thousand goodbyes..

I'm tired my Beloved.. 
of chafing my heart against the want of you,
Of squeezing into little inkdrops and writing it.
Ask me why I keep on loving you
When it's clear that you don't feel the same way for me.
The problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me
I can't force myself to stop loving you..

So I tell myself sometimes..
'Count the gardens by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall.
Count your life with smiles and not with tears that roll." ..

Though sometimes, these tears say all there is to say
And the scars don't ever fade away,
I am thankful that for a moment
I once met You, I once felt you look my way.
I once felt You within me, in my heart and mind
I once was happy and alive with You
I once Loved you and still Loving You... xoxo

P.S ..KYHYCYILY.. always.. ? ? ?

(re-edited letter)


Details | Couplet | |

The Reflection

I stare in the mirror, my tears fall in vain
Can’t see my reflection through the veil of this pain.

Who is this person I struggle to see?
I don’t want to judge her but it’s surely not me.

This stranger I cast looks so tired and weak,
I wish I could help her but I’m frightened to speak.

Cause it’s dark and lonely in this shell where I’m bound
Where once there was laughter, is now void of sound.

and the beauty I knew in just yesterday’s time,
seems gone in an an instant with life’s rythym and rhyme…..

Then GOD he spoke child…What do you mean?
You’re more beautiful than anything that I’ve ever seen!

The reflection you cast it don’t matter to me,
What matters is that you can see what I see.

That your spirit is filled with a breath that is true.
And a beauty so deep that this world can’t undo.

I know that your journey seems to heavy to bear.
But I’ve given you family that love and who care.

So hold on tight through the dips and the turns,
For the ones who believe are the precious who learns.

And wether your journey is to stay here or go,
Please know I love you so much more than you know.

I wish I could tell you the beauty that awaits…
But you will know only, when you see heavens gates.


Details | Lyric | |

Human Being

I walk a mile to see the self in me that I believe to be, 
I knew the road I choose to lay my head to sleep is called my home,
times in need I could barely see that in myself I will set free, 
the act that held me down, something about me I could not see,
I lived a life when I decide that day I said that I don't care, 
so young, so bright, I dim my light, traumatized for me to share,
love me please regardless of what you heard and what you have seen, 
friends say that I'm only human, yes you're right, a human but who am I being?
My life will move in the direction I choose, 
this I know I have always been taught
that I choose to be a winner or lose, 
its entirely up to me its all in my thoughts.

Ken Fepulea'i


Details | Free verse | |

Carbon Monoxide (CO) Week 2: Carbon Cabrona

Smokeless inhales hurt.
I cough tar on my shirt.
As my black lungs breathe,
Shrilling exhales wheeze.

Cabrona
Falls me
Down to
My knees.

The nicotine cracks
My will.
My composure
Spills.

I want 
This.
I must 
Have this.

I sink
Into
The brink
Of madness.


Details | Free verse | |

Careless

I slept
full of hope and dreams
I awoke 
empty and forgotten
Careless as I was back then

Morning sounds
swirling in my ears
Pointless thoughts
filling my head

"She can."
but will she ever again
"She is."
though no longer for me

I stood
alone and stiff
I walked
slow and without purpose
Careless as I was back then

The smell of spring
mingled with sunshine
as the touch of day
warmed me no more

"I was."
but I threw it all away
"I did." 
though I do not know why

I hoped
for a day without me
I cried
where no one could see
Careless as I was back then

Was this longing
joyless and caretaking
awaiting its chance
to bring me home again

Or was I lost
forever here like a wounded angel
Despaired and angry
the evening came again

Without warning
Without love
Without consumption
Without her

"In her arms,"
I wondered as the sun slipped away
"would I feel whole again?"
my hurt had wasted another day

I laid down
empty and forgotten
I slept 
full of hope and dreams
Careless as I was back then


Details | Acrostic | |

Five Letters

These are the five letters you left me with:

So you are leaving, walking away,
Old wounds grate against silence.
Realizing a moment too late, what’re you doing,
Reading through all those beautiful lies,
You never meant what you said.

And, I read them, over and over again
but five small letters never seemed so big. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Nevermore

With the weather cold and dry
My mind wanders far and wide
Within the future things in store
Negative thoughts, nevermore

Of course the mind can think of horrible thoughts
The pain that left the memory, not forgot
Until one day, it returns to life
To fear it with your heart, nevermore

This stone inside is your sanctuary
Not to be broken or to make one wary
Demons from the past surround your love
Let these Legion win, nevermore

Alas, true lovers can fight them off
Not lie, bicker, hate or scoff
Predict the weather tomorrow pleasant
Allow the rain to come, nevermore

You cannot allow this darkness to thrive
To swarm your soul like a hornets’ hive
Beware of those who intend to kill
Let them take your heart, nevermore

Titles are a trivial thing
Would phones or your heart start to ring?
When your darling returns home in your arms
Let the outside in, nevermore

For you and our love are all that matter
My heart and soul come together in patter
For my weakness is your voice
Allow us to be apart, nevermore


Details | Rhyme | |

Tomorrow's A New Memory

The absent mind rewinds the time pursued by each regret,
For as the lore that came before brought memories to forget.
And in the seed that failed to feed a lovers sweet duet,
A swift demise in plain disguise stood ready to be met.

This was the sorrow that bled of tomorrow, for each day would soon bring the rest;
Every reminder was fiercer, yet kinder, and soon would begin its conquest.
The roses have hardened in paper-back gardens; the pages in which they were pressed...
It's all that remains from the valentine chains that had nothing but pain to suggest.

The shackles will tighten unless you enlighten the truth of your young history:
The fact that the pain can help you retain the lessons of each mystery.
Now that the past has fallen at last, so has your dark enemy...
The night-light grows dreary as thoughts to theory: tomorrow's a new memory.


Details | Rhyme | |

Fallen Angels

Descending eyes piercing the starry nights
Deeper yet, unto hearts of men
Crossing thresholds shattered darkness
Behold, the fallen angels unbeknown to sin

That of weakest appetites malign
As heaven's tears spilling city streets
In futility cleanse what's evil-wise
From beneath, us vagabonds of broken wings

Empty rooms loneliness desperately 
Weary hearts for yearning error in love
Far off stares and blank faces, harrow in oasis
And inspirations forgotten, never peering up

Divine light cease upon closing heart
Earthly flesh feeding frenzies
To another piece of faith withdrawn
Humanity continues on and spirituality dies ending

Some pretentious fly toward false sanctuary
Never escaping whispers, persecutions within
Hissings soft, but brimstone in our heads
Countless fallen angels iniquitous deprivation dins

"Criers" define us as the times most desperate
"God, forgive us, please" hollow words that we pray
"The wicked must be punished" God's eternal now and tomorrow
His arms outstretched further still but, where are we today


Details | Etheree | |

The Broken Vase Of Love

Is never a crime so earn me awhole. 
For all whose thoughts were crack in noon,
And still do not think is right left being dumb.
would  in prenuptial undertaken blunder, When lifted'd imagined  what the world is of its own. A wistful pan of several host. or A spiteful mine of volcanic blast.


Details | Ballad | |

Memories

Thinking back on you and I
It doesn’t seem that long
It’s hard for me believing how
The years have come and gone
Everything about you still
So fresh inside my mind
Precious memories locked away
But never left behind
I shared with you my daytimes
But my nights I spent alone
It tore my heart to know your nights
Were not spent on your own
I knew the risks involved
Because you wore a wedding ring
But I never knew the pain for me
That wedding band would bring
For years my heart was frozen
From a love that it once knew
But I knew my heart had melted
When I fell in love with you
With you and I together
So many things were shared
But most importantly
I never said how much I cared
I tried to hide this love from you
Afraid to let you see
Not knowing of the child we’d made
Growing inside of me
I knew I’d never be with you
I never could have stayed, because
We took away this tiny life
That you and I had made
There’s nothing else you could have done
On you I lay no blame
But now my life feels empty
Full of sadness, loss and shame
I would give my all to spend
Another night with you
For you to hold me in your arms
And say you love me too
But if this never happens
Then I want to tell you still
I loved you then, I love you now
I know I always will...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Verse | |

Nothing But This

Furnace pink roses blushed on your cheeks,
I held my breath when I saw you there,
Stood in the sand in a gossamer dress,
That clung to your form as the breeze caught your hair.

Bruises of rain clouds filled up your eyes,
I held you close when your spirits were low,
The feel of your skin was electrically cool
As the rain swept your face and your eyes were aglow.

I’m just a chancer who stood in your path,
I borrowed the beat of your heart just for me,
I still feel your skin in that gossamer dress
As the sun fell behind you and sank in the sea.

And I never found one last moment to spare,
I gave not one second to grant one last kiss,
But when you close your eyes I pray I’ll be there,
There’s nothing else for it, nothing but this.


Details | Free verse | |

Turn Down The Voices In My Head

	




I pretended to be sleeping, .... through long hours of the night Across the milky-way, you slept, 'til dark became the light I could hear your quiet breathing, .... in the rekindling of dawn sighing empty words we never said, just the rustle of the bed where I pretended to be sleeping, buried deep, in pillows weeping Knowing you were close, beside me, ...pretending something, too The night was dark and lonely, as cold as two hearts grieving Exhausted love, that could not sleep, is weary love that we can't keep A love that's running out of breath, is brushing death too soon... I pretended to be sleeping, but could hear my own heart breaking.... I stayed awake to hear your breath, But now, afraid of footsteps leaving A branch against the window glass, is scratching to come in As if to pry, the words, "goodbye", that is carried in the wind I pretended to be sleeping, but, I can't ignore the sunrise The day arrives, without disguise, I must face it now, and ask it why? You have turned your back, as if to hide Pretending something too....
____________________________________________________ For Debbie's Contest: Songs to Poetry "I Can't Make You Love Me, If You Don't" by Bonnie Rait ("Turn down the lights, turn down the bed, turn down the voice in my head...inspired the turning a back on love)


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

Loosing It

  < Early morning,

   Its rainy and dark,

   Quit dull,

   Cloudy and gray,

   Emotions flowing not,

   So dim and sadden,

   Stuck in a zone,

   Feeling all alone,

   Suddenly blacken,

   Now dressed in lace,

   And black satin,

   Emotions flowing all over,

   Yet still lost,

   Dazed and amazed,

   Felt crushed pancake flatten......>






Details | Rhyme | |

My mother, my earth.

Into the light I see,
with rays in clouds and warmth in me.
Brittle is the air around,
no voice is there, nor sweeter sound.

Within my scars and broken back,
there are my kin, there love I lack.
The oceans turn, therefore I weep,
Is it truly my tears to keep?

Now the mountains begin to fall,
like sand and dust to death they call.
I hear my children bleed and cry,
there bellies thirst and almost dry.

Some will seat and eat there fill,
"lets help them now, so now we will!
His mother would find pride within,
a pretty thing this life of sin.

Alas, my days are almost through,
my breath, my flesh and heart is too.
Let this be my final song,
for war alone is for the strong.

Into the night I see,
is there still love left for me?


Details | I do not know? | |

before you came along

Before you came along
 everything was going all wrong
 i didn't know what to do 
but that was before i knew i needed you

 i would walk down the streets all alone 
going every where but home
 
before you came along
 
i would turn my face to the sky 
wishing i could tell this world a quick  goodbye 

before you came along
 
i would fall down 
so far down i had to look up
 to see the ground 

but before i could shed another tear
 you were here 
 holding me in your arms

you had finally come along
 just in time to help me be strong
 
i love u
 
now u are ready to go
 i did something, 
what,
 i guess ill never know
 this has all played out like a bad song
 because now your going
 going
 going
 GONE :(
 




Details | Verse | |

Pain

Drowning is excrutiating.
More so in your own blood,
Your illusions.
Slowly, I hum along to the
tune of my own death.
What else could a puppet do 
But dance?

Death is a treasure. Peaceful.
Life is torture. Unbearable.
Ashes lie where a bright flame flickered.
Violently extinguished.
Choked by a diet of untruths.

My endurance is puzzling.
Maybe i was ensnared-
Irretrievably bound.
Inevitable isn't it?
To feel the ripping of a heart
And the extermination of young emotions.

The humming ceases-
The end is near.
His pulsing palm is
where my pump rests.

The fiction" I love you,"
sometimes seems so true.
Love is pain.
Pain is not love


Details | I do not know? | |

The Beast Within

Where does my conscious go, when demons raise their fiery eyes, 
They steal my very soul, killing all which is sanctified,
Engulfed by instant fears, no longer hearing loved ones cries, 
The beast within appears, telling me I am justified,

I have already lost, no reprieve from my mortal sin, 
All reason now is blocked, as I become the beast within,
No pity can I feel, as I make my grandiose stand, 
Yes the horror is real, as I destroy all that I can,

Where do my feelings go, when demons raise their snarling lips, 
Bringing an all new low, into my life now torn to bits,
Certain of being right, I flail and thrash as if in fits, 
I threaten and I strike, with great fury the demon spits,

Yet I still stand and shout, my ugly hate and derision, 
Accusing lies said out loud, revolting words - degradation,
Just look at what I’ve done, I scream my blatant confession, 
Ready to blame anyone, for my evil molestation,

Where does my true love go, when demons raise their gruesome head, 
Destroying all I know, without slightest hesitation,
There is no where to hide, hideous deeds - infinite dread, 
Shame crushes senseless pride, nothing left but devastation,

Recoiling in horror, reality enters the room, 
Now begins the torture, judgment of my now mortal soul,
The evil that is me, my conscious has become my tomb, 
I look and all I see, marks my spirit and takes its toll,

Where does salvation go, when demons raise their awful screech, 
Making damnation grow, as dark shadows envelope me,
How can I persevere, and escape from this demon’s reach, 
For he is always near, and may kill eventually,

Cold and chilling insight, I now realize what is at stake, 
And the one path which might, protect the ones I truly love,
But how can I just leave, this world I worked so hard to make, 
And cause even more grief, for family and God above. 

Where does my resolve go, when demons raise their deadly claws,
Tearing at all I know, stealing my conscious care and pride,
I can’t run anymore, all is destroyed everything lost,
Now beaten tired and sore, I’ve lost my path into the light,

Who can I reach out to, when all I love recoil in fear, 
Eyes beseech black and blue, where once was love - now only hate,
Yes I know - I’m the cause, the reason for each falling tear,
And while demons give pause, I must face my terrible fate.


Details | Ballad | |

I Cry

I lay awake all through the night
While others lay asleep
As I think of you and I 
The tears roll down my cheek

I cry because I love you
I cry because I care
But most of all the reason why I cry
Is you're not there

My heart is torn and bleeding
A wound I cannot heal
And in my eyes you see you the hurt
And pain I can’t conceal

I wonder if you think of me
When you are all alone
I wonder if you miss the nights of passion 
We have known

I wonder if the smile you wear
Is just a fake disguise
I wonder if it's me you're seeing
When you close your eyes

You never will be mine again 
But still I won't regret
And pray you will remember
What I never will forget...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Lyric | |

Normal To Me

This isn't just a poem This isn't just another emotion This is me, these are my thoughts The Imagery is my sight, And The Allegories are my Life I'm lonely, There is just me But there's so many people around but no one can hear my loudest screams Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me I'm torn, I'm Cut Part of my heart stabbed, and then taken from me The Search for my innocence, Is like a moa hunt Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Laughing and Jokes all directed towards me Just to Hurt me Cover all of the Halls "Fag, Emo, Queer" Words I too often know Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Curling her hair putting on her makeup "You're worthless and nothing to Me" Says the so-called all-loving-one As she screams: "Why am I not Pretty" Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me This is not just a poem not just some words my pen cries with each words But this is Just a Glimpse Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me


Details | Free verse | |

Hurt

I can't tell you what it is I can't even tell you what it feels like I can only tell you that it's the worst pain You'll ever feel in you life It'll feel like every bone in your body is breaking Like every breath you take will be your last Like every muscle in your body is failing to support you And thats only the least of it. There is so much more! You eyes will feel like they're bleeding from all the tears you'll shed. You tounge will swell with words that you can't say. Your ears will make you question everything coming into them. And your heart, Well thats the worst part of it! It will feel as though its stopped beating... And who knows, maybe it has.


Details | Elegy | |

His Legacy

Up into the sky 
he soared 
like an Angel

With us 
down here-- 
at Soupland, watching him as he soared 
like an Angel;

So gentle… 
and brave 
he was,
a strong love he had, sharing it till the end, yet

His breath
could not resist the resounding call 
of Heaven 
and he left, 

Leaving us his poetry, for 
when great storms come in, his laughter 
will dry our tears like rain.


--

for Tom Bell, a great poet who taught us all-- 
to laugh and to smile…to learn… and to give.    


Details | Rhyme | |

War in the Street


War
in the street
faces 
marred by defeat
crying, fighting
kicking, biting

where is the truth they’re refusing?
can’t you see humanity is losing?

sapphires 
seeking retribution
victims 
of senseless persecution
amnesty 
road blocked by political futility
stubborn leaders
breeding this brutality

martyrs 
paving ways brave and proud
but signs say, ”NO PROTESTING ALLOWED!"
people 
risking their lives
to benefit future generations
placing themselves on shelves
for the sake of their children's salvation

for now, they fall
bludgeoned in defeat 
with hopes of a brighter tomorrow
for this bloodshed today in the street

~JSLambert

© 2011 JSLambert


Details | Free verse | |

A Forlorn Cry

Why can’t you hear my forlorn cry?
Its restless desire calls out each night
Waiting for you to answer it 
But you ignore my forlorn cry
Only thinking of your own self
Why won’t you answer my helpless call?
Its feeble sound grows softer each day
Hoping you will come to its aid
But you ignore my helpless call
Not thinking of the pain that burns in me
Each time you ignore my forlorn cry
You fuel the burning pain 
I have suffered all my life


Details | Acrostic | |

I Will Wait For You

I will wait for you as long as it takes,
I will not let you go by making many mistakes,
I will be strong while i hold on tight,
Even if you don't care to say goodnight,
I will always want a part of you in my heart,
Even though i am already being torn apart,
I will smile and not act like nothing wrong,
I will always want you,
 It's already been this long,
So if i am alone for the rest of my life,
I was waiting for you to come and let me be your wife,
I know that you will never feel the same way
I am just letting you know even how much you hate me,
 I will always Stay.


Details | Quatrain | |

Average Age 19

Once again, the powers that must
In rise again in what we trust
An overseas conflict, another war
Just what in the hell are we fighting for

Families are asking, Korea has just passed
Generations again reft, how long will it last
A country in need, to rebuild again
Flags at half mast, in wind and rain strain

Once again into war, sent by the Washington Post
To send back reports to hit home the most
Military observers were the first to be sent in
Another chapter of man entering existing sin

I'm witnessing our ariel power, Lam Son 719
US planners determine their incursion, saying all will be fine
Along the Mekong River, we'll carpet bomb their supply trail
Tons of munitions and napalm, this spread surely cannot fail

Many sorties are being flown, for the wounded and the dead
Whilst Nixon and his cronies, aren't thinking with their heads
The news of losses has reached me, nineteen have been killed
Eleven missing, fifty nine wounded, more American blood spilled

Seven fixed wing aircraft, more sons in action loss
Whilst back at home more protests, fading the dyeing's gloss
To to this job that I do, I was never prepared for this
To witness such bloody scenes, and ignore that life is bliss

How can I write about a soldier, whose name I'll never know
Killed at nineteen years old, his family he'll never see grow
Or even explain to his parents, when carried from the AH-1
His body bullet riddled and limp, when lifted it bloodily run

I never went back to the theatre, called the Vietnam War
Having witnessed the wanton killing, what were we fighting for
This colonial conflict that started, us on the side of France
So many came back as strangers, many to live in trance





James Fraser's entry into the contest " WORLD OF WAR: VIETNAM "



Details | I do not know? | |

I Can Always Pretend

The cold touch of the metal
On my soft bare skin
The turn out can only be fatal
Ill do this with a grin
No one can ever tell
That i even feel this way
Depression doesnt ring their bell
But i know that this is the day
The day this all ends
The day that i fade
The day i make amends
The day i wont be afraid
Iv hidden it for so long
No ones ever known
Im not really this strong
The real me has never been shown
This metal razor is cold
On my oh so soft bare skin
The move im making will be bold
When i decide to let depression win
My life cut short
My life gone
My life had no support
My life is done
This razor now bloody
With a smile on my face
No movement from my body
My smile not out of place
Lying on the floor
Note tucked in my hand
Please do not ignore
For this is what it read
"I ended it for you
I ended it so be happy
Its what i had to do
I even made it snappy
You were the one
That i chose
You made me numb
And let me go
My life had its ending
But see im smiling
Im still pretending
That your 'i love you' wasn't you lying"


Details | Rubaiyat | |

I Must Go

---inspired by a story character of mine
------------------------------------------------------------------
Losing reality, losing my mind I try to stay with you but I'm falling behind This fate's going nowhere I'm left hurting inside Tomorrow's not coming What are you becoming Nothing is out there Pain and suffering forthcoming Nowhere to hide, I'm on my own Feeling so empty and alone Your hatred shines bright Your heart, a deadened stone This pain you inflict upon me Hurts greater than I'll ever let you see But still I love you so Though I know you can-will never love me I just hope you know That even though the love I want from you will never be so I'll always love you But now, before it hurts anymore, I must go...


Details | Chant Royal | |

You take all of me

Take all of Me

	I always wanted to know why I felt so empty when you went away. I never understood. Why or how can someone 
make me feel this way? My heart is beating, my mind is racing, my hands are shaking. I try to catch my breath, I am lost!! 
I try to hold back my tears. I try to retrace my footsteps and rethink those thoughts. My heart is black, my mind is 
fogged....my lips are sealed. I cant find  all the answers, but I came up with this, “You take all fo me.”


Details | Epic | |

The Fallen Prince - part 2

Part 2.....

He cried and cried, into the night, regrets were his companions,
Until he heard the sound of hooves ,rumbling through the canyon.

Through tear-filled eyes, he saw a herd, of royal beauty stallions,
And perched upon ,their royal backs ,were knights in white so gallant.

Carefully ,they scooped him up ,and carried him away,
Into the East ,they rode from hell, for three long nights and days.

When long at last, with horses spent ,they reached their destination,
They placed him in the hands of God ,for this was His creation.

Great warmth began to fill his heart ,and light shone from his eyes,
He felt the gentle hand of God, and he began to cry.

Such happiness. he had never known. it lifted him so high,
He spread his wings, up to the sky ,and he began to fly.

Up to the sky, on mended wings, with angels all around him,
He heard the voice of God ring out, and totally surround him.

"I've done my part ,my fallen prince ,but the rest is up to you,
Fly straight and true, and don't look back ,no matter what you do.

Lead not thee to temptation son .for if you do, you'll die,
Fly straight and true, my fallen prince, or forever, cease to fly".


Will the prince ,journey home again ,to his fair and lovely maiden?
Or, will temptation ,lead him back, to the evil Black Knight Satan?


Details | Lyric | |

To Be With You

I should have held on tighter
When I had you in my grasp
For now I’m just a distant fading 
Memory in your past
My smile can hide the sadness
My tears are wiped away
But all this pain I feel inside
I live with day by day 
The pathway to my heart
Is just a worn and beaten track
But till I have you by my side 
I’ll just keep running back
You left me with a memory
That no one else can steal
But left me with a heartache
No one else can ever heal
What lies in my future now
What am I to do
How can I be happy
When in life I don’t have you
My heart just aches completely
Every hour every day
It’s only when I’m with you
That this pain will go away
I know I have to let you go
Instead of holding on
For you were never mine
To me, you never did belong
Bottled up inside me 
Are the words I've never said
Feelings that I've never shown
Lines you never read 
I want to live my life with you
Tomorrow and today
For better and for worse
Beside you all the way
To be there when you need me
Until this world is through
And when our time is over
I will spend the end with you...


By Raina Hutchins


Details | ABC | |

The Warning from the Toll man on the Bridge over the Tranquil River

Be careful taking your first step on the wooden bridge at night,
The dark abyss may entice the careless away from the light,
The serpentine wind will tease and tempt you to give up the fight,
“I warn you, now; the risk is far more than it seems at first sight.”

Some lost souls are made of stronger thread and will not heed the call,
They laugh and run straight out ignoring the risk and the fall,
Rash soldiers who trade a pound of caution for an ounce of gall,
“I warn them of the danger but they do not hear me at all.”

The old dry wood here is rotten and can easily splinter,
I saw a whole family, fall, as if they didn’t matter,
Death waits here and all it needs is another beam to shatter.
“I warn everyone but some take my words as useless chatter.”

I remember well the lovers; oh they were full of mischief,
Adam wanted to meet Eve on the bridge and sneak off like a thief,
Adam was in such a hurry their encounter was very brief.
“It was joyful to hear them promise a love beyond belief.”

Joan was a beautiful young girl, who had lovely words to weave,
“Come my handsome Prince; escort me to heaven, and by your leave,
I will beg your pardon and find the grace to attend your sleeve.”
“What sad alchemy does love perform when faithful hearts believe?”

I recall Mathew, a lively man who crossed the bridge with cheer,
“There isn’t much of a vision when the darkened clouds appear,
I prefer to stoke the fire than watch the Sun disappear.”
“ But when the fire was out he huddled near the bridge in fear.”

I saw, sad old Mark chase a butterfly and fall to his fate,
He had bright colours in his eyes and a gazelle in his gait,
He was too good for this bridge , and fell, and drowned in waves of hate.
“Beware this bridge will silence both the humble and the great.”

I remember my old friend Luke who had his head in the skies,
He told me that the voices spoke to him of secret truths and lies,
I saw him climb over the edge, here, and hang on to the ties,
He held on bravely but soon the visions faded from his eyes.

So I must warn the blind men, to be careful who they follow,
To walk in grace and spare a thought for the ones who lay below,
To be able to cross is easy, there is little to know.
“Walk freely over this ancient bridge but pay me as you go.” 


Details | Rhyme | |

Hand in hand

I dont think people will understand
how i'd love to walk along the beach with you
hand in hand
as we walk under the sunny skies
i'd turn and gaze  into your beautiful eyes
i'd tell you you are special and that  i'd give love a chance
but in my heart i know you'd never give me a second glance
I care about you so much
but accept it will never be
as i dont think you feel the same way as me
but if one day you feel that you  care too
you know i will be there just waiting for you
the journey has been long and on you
 i will never give up
I just keep looking to the Lord
when all seems lost  he keeps filling my cup
he will keep me strong in the time to come
for i know his will be done.  Amen 


 not my will but yours he said, 

  what will be will be God knows what is meant to be. may ther Lord have his way in your life and may every spirtual blessing be yours. 

for my friend, who has been hurt so many times and is just holding back on this one chance of happiness  ,  may God bless you and give you strength and courage to face each day may he be with you and comfort you in all that you do and just bring his peace to you.  Amen  




Details | Prose Poetry | |

Last memory

Bathed by the ocean blue 
There came a thought…
And it was solely of you.
How you’d dance across the night sky
With palms and the waves, waving good bye
With hopes and lights
All lost and wandering the night
Not at all lost…
But not at all found
I’ve wandered these towns…
I’ve wandered these thoughts,
Where has the time gone by?
No longer you dance…
No longer you play…
Just sit there in the sand
By the oceans nice bay
Dream with me tonight
Dream with me of all the things we once would do
Come back to life…
Just once…
Dance with me one last time
Beside the oceans blue
Come back to life…
Give me one last memory of you


Details | Rhyme royal | |

MELANCHOLY

A haunting from my past came back to see me 
that caused a misunderstanding between you and me
I cant believe this, I caused it to end, before it began,
with you as a future friend


Details | Free verse | |

Saved My Life

I went back into that dark, dark place 
Were demons dwell 
And 
Lives are taken away
But
Through the pain 
And 
Through the tears 
You were there and kept me near. 
You saved my life by loving me; 
Your silent strength was the key. 
Gentle touches and silent words 
Let me know that love was the cure. 
Depression is my evil curse, 
And 
When it planted the seed of death
Your love washed it away 
And
Gave me the strength
To seek the help I needed to keep it at bay. 
I’ve walked that dark path so many times 
I’ve done lost track, 
But 
Things have change 
And God’s given me a special tool 
To help me through, 
I have you and Joshua too, 
And 
Rooted deeper is the knowledge 
Both of you want me to stay a little longer. 
So like a drug addict that has lost their way
I start the road back to brighter days,
And
There are not enough words to say
I Love You 
In every way 
And 
May God bless us ever day.


Details | Rhyme | |

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love

How Can We Hurt The Ones We Love?

How can we hurt the very ones that we love?
How can we easily neglect our God above?

It seems like I often heard about many victims
Many times, it’s from a loved one who’s been with them!

The hate and the anger that boils from deep within.
Often “boils over” toward our family and friends.

It’s the love of Christ that we need to find!
His love can totally cleanse our life and mind!

The hearts of many families are bruised and broken.
By the harshness of many of the words spoken.

If we would allow Jesus to rule and reign.
We’d have little reason to murmur or complain.

If we would yield our lives to the master’s will…
The emptiness and brokenness, he shall fulfill!

If we could allow ourselves to sit at Jesus’ feet…
He can make any family totally complete!

If we could just listen to what Christ has to say.
His words of life would brighten our day!

As a family…  Won’t you give HIM a chance?
And allow his love to change your circumstance!

Won’t you allow his spirit to bind you together?
You can experience his peace today and forever!

He can change your family throughout!
This is his will and what God is all about!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Alive

And we are left here Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk We are the forgotten I am watching the others grow rotten But I am cleansed and raw with glee Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE… I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds My definition of true finds… I smile when any possible hope arrives Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside I am amused of it all…I can’t stop laughing As bitter tears began to fall I HATE ALL OF YOU… I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL… But I love that I can take anything From the nothing we have all been labeled The sick, the low…the mentally unstable Watch me roll up in a ball A naughty tease to death’s lull I love your silence… I love your intense fall And we are more alive than any of you We are crazed by your belligerence Aching to be emotionless SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE SHARE IT… Give us something to be left with So the others can die As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror Listen to her laughter—do you hear her? She watches and waits To find her maggots have grown wings… Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly We are more alive than any of you Though quickly we die


Details | Free verse | |

Grieving Goodbye

One step I go back, and
I see you holding my hands...
With a smile, walking down the lanes.
Yesterday I acquainted me in you
When your hands grabbed mine in your fears
With such reliance, allaying down the pains.
And Today when I stood still
I saw myself lost in despair
When my hands sorely waved you goodbye.

Another step I go back, and
I see you resting on my shoulder
With an ease, breathing  out all your whimseys.
Yesterday I held myself in you
When you hugged me in your tenderness
With such peace, grieving away all the hearsays.
And Today when I fastened myself
I felt I betrayed your trust
When my arms direly opened to free your life.

Further I stepped to go back, and
I see you lying up on me abreast
With an intimacy, desiring all your fondness.
Yesterday I mellowed my soul in yours'
When you lusted me in your reverences
With such warmth, melting down all the iciness.
And Today when I lie down
I realized I burnt my essence
When my deity hollered out to coffined my soul.

Yet I wanted to go back, and
I see my shadow fading out slowly under the daylight
With such isolation, deafing all those mirthful moments.
Yesterday I was in a state of solitude
Till I acquainted with your heart and soul
With such reliance, peace and warmth, gratifying all forbearance.
And Today I am back, where I was
I raged as it was hard to believe
When my heart panicked to say you GOOD-BYE.


Details | Couplet | |

Marble in Columns on Green

On a slope graced with green
White marble stands in proud salute

For beneath these engraved pillars of memory
Lie the resting places of heroes

A solitary green fir looks down
As if sheltering the lost and the taken

So many names, from all walks of life
A father, brother a girlfriend or wife

On a sunny day, they glow radiant like their lives
On a dull day, they stand out against the greys

For the living, life goes on 
Tomorrow is another day


Details | Rhyme | |

Have You Been Hurt By Religion

Have You Been Hurt By “Religion”?

Are you tired of “religious people”
 knocking at your door?
You wish they’d leave...  “You can’t take it anymore!”

Have you been hurt by “church people” sometime in the past?
Somehow they hurt you...  And the pain continues to last…

Have you been “wounded” by something
 somebody has said?
Perhaps you wonder if “they wish you were dead…”

Perhaps there’s someone that you 
may have “befriended…”
They have done something that
 has hurt you and “offended.”

There’s probably many people that you wish would “go away.”
Because of something they’ve 
done to “darken your day.”

I’ve been there many times…  Believe me I know.
How someone’s actions or words can hurt your soul.

Even those who go to church are 
often not very kind.
And they don’t hesitate to 
give you “a piece of their mind.”

Religion is not the answer.  Look to Jesus 
and the life he gives!
He alone has the power to love
 and completely forgive!

It’s only in his shed blood that you can find atonement.
He can change your life now!  This very moment!

He can heal your broken heart and wounded spirit.
An everlasting joy and love...  He freely gives it!

He can do what no “church” or “religion” could ever do
He can restore your life today.  
And make you BRAND NEW!!!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Hate-filled Love

I hate your touch and your smile.
Wicked little creature.

I hate your blue eyes and brown hair.
Sinful hate filled liar.

I hate your voice and your scent.
Rotten two-timer.

I hate you everything you do for what you did.
But we loved and touched, smiled, talked and connected physically.

You lied about our moments spend, 
you can't look me in the eyes.

You lead me on and stole my youth, 
but don't have the nerve to speak to me now.

I hate your beauty and your thievery;
but loved the way you made me fill.

I hate that you now do the same to another girl;
your lies blind her.

I hate the diseases you carry; 
love the infection you gave.

I love you and can't let go,
hate because I’m smarter than this.

I hate this poem because I think of you with every word...
Your eyes, your smile, your hair, your skin, and your kiss.

Most of all...

I love you for the time we had.
I hate you because you don't want me now. 


Now what???


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Unsettled

My eyes grow heavy,
Yet I can't sleep,
My soul feels weighted,
But I can't weep

I dream on
Without the hope I need
I need to talk
Yet my tongue's not freed

I clutch my pillow,
I cling to the thought
Of how we met,
And why we fought

It all seems so silly now,
And I wonder why
We could let this stand
And let love die

Pure "saving face"
Holds me back,
Especially since
Your verbal attack

Being a person,
No easy thing,
You've left your nest
And the protection of
Your mother's wing

Should i call?
Or hold out?
Be the weak one?
Or stand and shout?

Oh, Lord, please guide me
Let me know
The way to be...

I roll over in bed again,
And turn on the light,
But light doesn't help.
I have no sight...

Indecision means inaction
I start to groan,
To lose your love,
A fear greatly grown

Turn off the light,
Again to bed
In many ways,
Wishing I was dead.


Details | Rhyme | |

Just a Thought

Always around 
slightly small mostly black
think of my kids 
that's what holds me back
cracks in my heart 
such a delicate shell
tears fill my eyes 
my eyes start to swell
try to be a new me 
no drugs no liquor
now my eyes open wide 
more reasons to pull the trigger
thought it was real 
did you mean what you said
starting to see the truth 
make the target my head
holding back so much pain 
but still some leaks out
no one to talk to 
feel better with cold metal in my mouth
no peace in my soul
it will not rest
another thought comes to mind
aim straight for my chest
even then I cry
thinking of taking a last breath
seriously thinking without me
would the children be best
feeling like a criminal
I've committed no theft
here is a person that's broken
I have nothing left
I'll walk away now 
before I do something stupid
stop leaving it around
one day I might use it
no, no.... I can't
gotta remember my babies
this is a silent prayer I'm tormented
God please save me


Details | I do not know? | |

WITH BROKEN WING

With broken wing, he cannot fly
There in the gray, December sky,
And therefore he is bound to die
Upon the cold, cold ground.

With broken wing, his dream is gone,
Of flying where his mate has flown,
And so he's left there, all alone,
With no hope to be found.

A lonely bird with broken wing,
A lark without a song to sing,
Is a sad and melancholy thing,
With darkness all around.


Details | Concrete | |

Tears are out of place


Pushed aside...

Like day abandons night...

Like night abandons day...

I reach inside restore...

Inner strength...
Inner pride...
...repair pain...

Cast out painful words...
Slice deep, Slash chore...

Truth revealed...
...blood is thicker than water...

Shadows surface...Soul in tears...

...Into the night this heart falls...

...Injustice falls within...

...Where is my strength...
...I clamber toward your trace step...

...My courage turns to you now...

...Deep within another lesson learned...

...Tears are out of place...

...Somewhere my sun is shining...

...Into this silence I hide...

...retreat all feelings displaced...

...My heart abandoned...

...This hurt...self repent...

With unknown limit...

Mighty wisdom grace...

...Tears are out of place...
...Tears are out of place...
...Tears are out of place...


Details | Rhyme | |

Clear as day

Love hath tasted of arsenic lips
ground thy soul upon treacherous hips
opened vessels with anemic blood
bathed in a teared river of mud

yet loneliness fills a desires plate
tis the companion of Poe's fate
lips sparkled of potent ale
lovely neck a shade too pale

empty bottles of friendship lied
drunken souls hang head to side
looking for sadness as their pride
lest the poet's pen be his bride

etched in darkness, the devil's queen
horrid tragedy with beauty unseen
liquid scents perfume thy mind
splashing eyes tearfully blind...


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmare

Rest is a requirement,
for all,
in order to have this,
sleep is a must,
after a day’s of hard work,
wherein sleep is a must,
for all,
to freshen up the next day,
though the mind goes to sleep,
and the body follows suit,
the subconscious mind awakens,
and in lie,
a number of dreams,
awaiting you,
the dream,
that always reigns in my mind,
is the death of my wife, 
not once,
but more than a couple of times,
why does this dream,
often arise in my mind,
is the answer I seek,
is it because of the love we have towards one another,
or is it the compassion for each other,
or is it in relation of serving one another, 
or is it a kind of warning,
a warning to take care in the future, 
some people may call this as the sixth sense,
while I call this a nightmare,
as nightmares are really scary,
yes, nightmares are quite scary indeed, 
if you do agree with me or not!!

From:-Mr.Manu Nair (dated 19th November, 2012)


Details | I do not know? | |

Refused To See

There are still nights
Up alone, I think of you
How right you were
But still how very wrong 
How can that be?
I battle amongst myself
Temptation to call
Just want to hear your voice
See your face
Though I know it’s wrong
I want to touch your lips
With mine
Remember the kiss I left?
How sweet and gentle
The lips of an angel 
You gave it what you could
I asked for more
You had nothing left 
Though you looked 
So I left 
Feeling you were used
What you gave me
Was what I was after
I refused to change
Refused to see



Details | Free verse | |

Die alone and born again

The man with the plastic bug in his head
monopolized my dreams last night
in the place that the horsefly of my dignity
finally surrender to the impresario without a fight.

Seven days and 7 hours transplanted in my memorabilia
reminding the rustiness of the purple child
flatterers danced beneath the clouds of melancholy
and morality spreader the master plan inside my mind.

The disinheritance of my immortality the final day
discouraged my desire to see the forbidden love
restored my will to escape
manipulated the deep of the uncertainty above.

Released from the plastic bug in my head
try to cover my yellow child in the purple sky
laughing,singing,whispering,playing
seven days and seven hours before he dies.


Details | I do not know? | |

Glass Castle

I built her a glass castle
And set her as my queen
And promised her the East and West
And e'r'thing in between.
She placed me on her white cake -
Her Golden Figurine.
It looked like I could do it, 
But that's just how it seemed.

I tried to keep my promises.
I did with all my might.
But in the end I failed at that
And proved the hater's right.
The queen's still in her castle, 
Her raiment's simply stunning.
She's waiting for her Charming,
But I'm not sure he's coming.


Details | Quatrain | |

A Letter to My Son

Your going has left a hole in my heart that time,
The Great Healer, cannot repair.
Your going has left a hole in my existence
That forever and beyond will not heal,
A hole ever expanding from its own nothingness,
A hole through which all the goodness,
All the kindness of you is slipping through.
You were my sounding board.
Trite ideas offered, came back
Enhanced, brilliant and sparkling.
Borrowing intelligence from you, I grew wiser.
Doors opened before me as I strove to be worthy
Of you, my beloved son.
I go on now as you would have me do,
Searching in Nature for the joy 
You found in its wonders.
Hearing bird songs with your ears,
Relating to others with your empathetic instincts.
Striving, ever striving to be the person
And mother that you believed me to be
And never letting your memory grow dim
For those you loved and for whom you sacrificed.

You came into this world with a wisdom
That did not come from me.
I thank God each day for His lending you to me
For the time that I had you near
And I cling to His promise
That I will see you again.

I could not tell from whence you came,
Born with a wisdom that did not come from me,
And I do not know where you have gone,
Part of myself, the better part--into Eternity.

Originally entered as verse

Rewritten:

A Letter to my Son

Your going has left a hole in my heart
That Time, that great healer cannot repair.
Your going  left  space in my existence
That forever and more will still be there.

Ever expanding from it nothingness
A hole from which your goodness has slipped through.
The kindnesses you wore as a halo
Have disappeared as well since I lost you.

I used you as a sounding boad to measure
The wisdom and the beauty of the world.
Your ideas were so clear and brilliant,
Through you my own best aptitudes unfurled.

I'm trying to live up to your standards.
I want to be more worthy of you, Son.
You told me once I was the perfect mother,
And with you life was such a lot of fun.

I thank God every day for loan of you.
The time we had was more than worth the pain.
And now I'm clinging tight to his promise
That some day I will see you once again. 

I do not know from whence you came,
Blessed with wisdom  that did not come from me.
Each day I pray I know where you have gone;
Taking my heart into Eternity.





Details | I do not know? | |

Band-Aids For the Heart

the blood of love leaks out
through this punctured 
saddened wound
bleeding hurt unspoken
cries for help unheard,
no surgeon could ever help
the shocking pain of but a word

how one so casually inflicts
such wounds upon those 
they have once told
of their undying eternal love
held tight those two bodies
as she wanted so to hold

yeah, love can be quite nasty,
so disrespectful of your heart
and torture you forever
until from life, you should depart


Details | Rhyme | |

For Laura

For Laura

She suffered in silence from the years of abuse
If not for the violence she felt of no use
She denied that her soul was addicted to pain
Inside she felt cold so her blue eyes would rain
She had beautiful dreams somewhere in her youth
Of being a queen then she discovered the truth
That love can go wrong if left up to a man
It will not be strong if it’s not part of God’s plan
Hope painted a picture with colors of laughter
Of missus and mister happily ever after
When he used to kiss her it encouraged her faith
The times he would hit her she didn’t feel safe
Through all the trouble she had time to conceive
Despite the struggle she just couldn’t leave
She knew in her heart things would only get worse
She accepted the dark blaming God for the curse
If not for her kids she’d give it all back
Thinking time won’t forgive what’s been done in the past
I wish I knew her before she was broken by man
To give these words to her so she’d understand
That a woman’s heart has one unique chance
She must use all her smarts when choosing a man
Not all of us can wear shiny armor
Some men you can’t trust they’d only harm her
But not to give up time can be a friend
You may have the Lord’s luck the next corner you bend
There is time for love you are still that queen
Ask the Father above and you’ll see what I mean
The beauty with in you will never fade
God has always been with you; He’s never delayed
I must remind you; you are His greatest gift
Don’t look behind and the pain won’t exist


Details | Lyric | |

Emptyness

A place still lies
Lonely and untouched
Every night it cries
Seeking for its walls to be patched

A place still lies
But dead in its self
With broken memories
And an empty shelf

I struggle to find myself
In the midst of all the strife
But above me a cloud of darkness
So thick, full of sadness

The place will still lie
But not utter a cry
It shall continue to die
Because no one asked why


Details | Free verse | |

The Salted Leaf

Crystal sapphirine salted leaf,
The forlorn friend of aqua rose.
Memories of ages, only the leaf knows.
Bright blue tears of eternal grief.
The wedding bands confirm our love.
Passion, ardent affection for life.
I and Lenore forever my wife,
Beautiful as a pure white dove.
The eye of the rose reflects all,
You see the past in a single glance.
The aqua rose: Lenore, did me enhance.
Away she flew, to kingdom hall.
Why? Did she die; I do not know.
Answers in the blue crystal salt,
Sapphirine leaf will sorrow halt.
I eat the leaf for status quo,
My heartbeat quickens, then a smile.
Lenore, my wife doth call me hither.
Aqua rose begins to wither.
The saga must continue.

HGarvey Daniel Esquire


Details | Verse | |

I'm Sorry

I knew it was risky
to say what I thought
but the heart is so tricky
and I just couldn't stop
my lips from saying the words
that my mind was dying to say
the words fluttered out like birds
that I love you more each day.
People say love is strong
and shouldn't be said as a joke
well forgive me if I'm wrong
for the honest words I spoke.
I know it was really selfish
to assume that you felt the same
I gave into my impulses
and put myself to shame.
But please don't feel that because I
said the forbidden phrase
anything will change in our lives
as we meet every day
I know you don't feel the same way
and I accept that it's not going to change
but i wonder if it is okay
if we stay friends all the same
I think that I can pretend
that you never broke my heart
as long as you keep up your end
and play the friendly part.
I'll take all the tears that I cried
and hide them away from you
and then maybe you and I
can be friends, just like we used to.


Details | Blank verse | |

The Searching (1995)

I’ve been dying inside for so many years
I’ve bee searching for a cure
I try so hard to understand what my body is telling me
I can feel my heart aching, the void I feel is so strong
I’ve been searching for ways to fill what was never given as a boy
I had love once and for a time my heart and soul were content
But I put my happiness at jeopardy long ago
And since that time I just haven’t been the same
I’ve accomplished so many things in such a short time
But I’m being engulfed by rage anger
The beast within my soul will not leave me alone
My heart, mind and soul are not sound
I can feel that I am at war with myself
I’ve been exercising my body and mind 
But my soul is lost in the abyss
This hollow feeling of loneliness
So many emotion are building up inside
My quest for happiness seems to be an endless journey.
I’m breathing so heavy lately and 
the pain within my chest grows stronger
the building of my foundation is weighing me down
the child inside is hiding but I can hear him crying
my smile has disappeared and my eyes have become so sad.
I have no strong religious belief.
I’ve been seeking exodus in so many alternate ways.
They say you must love yourself first
In order to gain peace with your own inner beast
I must face all of my fears, it is only then that this dead and 
empty feeling will heal the child inside. 


Details | ABC | |

The Last Kiss


She walked through the woods
 remembering his face
ashen and grey against the pillow.
He had been taken by 
the sweeping sickness
that had engulfed her land
taken so swiftly
that she had not 
had time to reach him.

The pain of her loss 
had been unbearable
and she had roamed the house 
striking out
in rage and grief 
at anyone who came close.
The madness had left her eventually,
left her alone 
bereft of her love.

That was many years ago now,
but still his face haunted her,
his eyes accusing 
filled with
the horror of her absence
the terror
that he must face alone 
the time of his death.

It never left her, this guilt she carried.
Many had consoled her, told her that she 
was not blame,that it was not her fault.
She knew better,she remembered telling him one dreadful
storm filled night, that she would always be there.

She shook her head free of the memories,
she was old now and it was so long ago,
she would be welcomed when she left this earth.
Absolved of this guilt that had consumed her life.

She saw the tree as she entered the clearing.
His treee, his favorite place.
Whenever he was troubled or scared
she would find him there,curled up beneath the boughs.
It was his haven, his place of safe keeping.

Glancing around she felt again,as she always did
his presence near to her, tantalisingly close.
She walked  to the tree and sat down,
resting her back against the trunk,
letting the sunlight warm her face.

Slowly as she sat there, eyes closed and silent.
He came to her as if in a dream,
or perhaps she was  dreaming, she did not know
or care,she only knew he was before her,
that her love was with her once more .

Tears streamed from her eyes and her throat burned
as he touched her face,stroked her hair.
A smile touching his lips as he gazed into her eyes.
Slowly he knelt before her and lay back,
resting his head on her lap.

Happiness swept through her like fire,
he was forgiving her, letting her know
that it was not her fault that he had died alone.
Her hand traced the features she loved more than life
and her lips met his in an endless kiss.

The night was dark when the villagers found her.
She was sitting in a clearing, lying next to a tree.
The moonlight illuminated her in its silvery rays
and in its bathing light they saw what they had 
not seen in decades. She was smiling, in death 
she was smiling. 

Athena Beauchamp
12 , December 1999

Copyright 2013 ACB










Details | Rhyme | |

Elixir of My Soul

Did you know I loved you before we met?
Drowning within your beautiful eyes,
Do you now feel the painful regret?

Did you vow to love me, and just only me?
Draped within a veil of pure bliss,
Diving below the depths of impurity.

Did you softly whisper, that I was the one?
Drinking the elixir of my innocence,
Downing till there was all but none.

Did you believe we would be here forever?
Distance keeping us miles apart,
Doubting we see each other ever.

Did you think of me lately, and miss me?
Dreaming of the two of us together,
Doused with love in an emotional sea.

Did you always wish misery, forever?
Darkness as your guardian in life,
Dragging us to hell, on this evil endeavor.

Did you wish I meant more, and ask why?
Dusting yourself entirely free of us,
Desolation forever, as you wave goodbye.

For the last time……….


Details | Rhyme | |

Drop the ocean and lift the sky

Drop the ocean, lift the sky, Today seems like a goodbye, Memories of your voice forever linger. Drink the potion, get me high, Tears start to multiply , You wouldn't even try to lift a finger. Cast the demons, out of here, Lift me up, I have no fear, Show you what it means to say I love you. Wake me up, grab a beer, Fill my cup, and shed a tear , My love for you has always been this true. Drain the ocean , engulf the land, Time to focus , begin again, Learn to live without you by my side. Convey the notions, my own brand, Revolve my life, and take a stand, Without you , I know, I will be alright. Ring the bell, Sound the horn, Today i have been reborn, I can do this all on my own. Rise the fell, Mend the torn, Persevere through all the scorn, My , look at how much you have grown. Drop the ocean , lift the sky, Today seems like a goodbye, Memories of your voice forever linger.


Details | Free verse | |

A Winter Walk

I needed some time, some space to think
And it was either take a walk or drink
And since I knew drinking would solve nothing
I put on my shoes and I started walking

The wind blew the chilly air
Through my unkempt locks of hair,
But I hardly felt the biting cold,
Walking with memories warm in my soul

The street was dark, cold and silent
It was funny the places where my mind went
While I slowly walked across the blacktop road
No destination in mind where I would go

It's funny the things you will remember
I recall a day in mid-December
And how suddenly, nothing seemed the same
After that man at the door called my name

I followed him into a secluded office
Where he would tell me his diagnosis
And suddenly I felt my beating heart
But the rest of the world had just stopped

I felt a hand in mine get tighter
I don't think the room could have been quieter
I shook my head in total disbelief
Too numb to feel anything, even grief

The question asked, "What does this mean?"
But the answer didn't mean anything
My head too fuzzy, my thoughts too jumbled
I turned to my love to speak, but mumbled

I don't remember what else he said
Because of the swirling thoughts in my head
It took three days before I could even think
Which led me to tonight: walk or drink

So I walked and I thought and I truly remembered
Dreams of the past, love treasured forever
Friendship and laughter, sorrow and pain
As though I was reliving my life over again

Little things that I'd sorely taken for granted
Things that didn't happen the way that I planned it
Promises made and ones that were broken
Love that was shared, love still unspoken

The frosty air filled me with a sense of renewal
Inside my soul was fighting a duel
The angel, the devil, both battling demons
Inside of myself I fought to redeem them

I don't know who won the ethereal battle
And I'm not sure right now it even matters
Where once I believed everything for a reason
I'm finding that harder and harder to believe in


Details | I do not know? | |

Wish I Was Your Addiction

Wish I was your addiction,
Upon a star non fiction,
never ending hole so deep,
Life would seem more complete

If you'd wake up, 
crack open my bedroom door,
To think you'd been dreaming about me,
God gave you everything you need and more,
What Id give to feel those arms hug me,
genuinely, honestly, no love withholding

If I was your vice,
I would be the answer to your stress,
Of all else you try,
I'd always bring out the best,
You'd spend time with me ,
defend me to the end,
You'd be incredibly loyal,
I'd consider you my best friend

No recovery program could treat,
the connection we'd share no one could defeat,
You'd need to see my all the time,
reminders of me everywhere, your life would be a shrine,

Wish I was your addiction,
Upon a star non fiction
never ending hole so deep,
Life would seem more complete


Details | Lyric | |

Ocean Eyes

Ocean Eyes...
You do not wish me harm
Yet you drown me
In your pools of crashing seas
Your waves breaking my arms

Your ships carry my thoughts
Your winds cool my days
Alas, my confessions kept at bay
Hiding under sand and rocks

Your heart has become my continent
I desire to explore your countries,
Ride your dreams,
Discover your forgotten memories;
Every string of music
that hangs from your trees...

Fate has painted my desires an illusion,
The heart's demise...
No matter how hard death tries,
I'll always remember you,
Ocean Eyes.


Details | Free verse | |

Healing a bleeding rose

A soul weeps in flesh for the pain I left behind.
 I am sorry for the pain,the tears, I left for you to bear. 
These healing words I send with a bumble bee to heal a bleeding rose. 
These napkin like words I pray can wipe your tears and snotty nose.
 I was young and naive,I cherished my pride instead of your heart . 
There the coldest winter did start. 
If it makes you happy I disposed of the mistress. 
Who faded in long lost memory of shadowed kisses.
 No,no,no I am sorry for writing that,
its a poets bold habit of honesty,
but in writing this I thought i should be honest and honest I shall be.I apologize for leaving your emotions suppressed,unknown and ostracized. 
Yes, I know the ocean swollen with your tears,the angels descended on a bloody battle field to  hear your cry.I hope you can summons them again and reconsider the report to the almighty farther. 
If I could write this apology in the eye of the sky I would,for my remorse to be seen , a once foolish human being .Your heart I didn't mean to decay. I apologize for the lies, cries,for making you eat sadly all those ice creams and soggy apple pies,from absorbing tears fallen from yours eyes. Left to wonder in the vastness of the universe alone. I am sorry also sorry for the smudged ink and some of the lines. I cried along with them, imaging your painful times.


Yours truly Elliott Bowe 
To:Simone Descartes


Details | Rhyme | |

Writing With A Pin

Writing with a pin,
I know it is wrong.
Writing with a pin,
Blood is being drawn.

Writing with a pin,
My skin's burning and searing.
Writing with a pin,
It's wrong, but it has a satisfying feeling.


Details | Rhyme | |

Last Call

The last-call lights flickered once more
A warning sign she chose to ignore
Her soul, just like her pocketbook
Was as empty as inside the glass she looked

The bartender said, “Lass, you now must leave”
As she wiped her tears on a tattered sleeve
With no place left in the world to go
She ventured out in the freshly fallen snow

The beauty that she once wore with pride
Had long ago shriveled up and died inside
Her vanity had taken its high priced toll
Leaving behind a lost and lonely soul

Girls who were much less popular than she
Now bask in a love life of prosperity
While she is a smile in many a lad’s past
The less frivolous girls have had the last laugh

Now her love is something she can’t give away
None of the men she devoured elected to stay
That pint she just drained with her last sip
Is the only thing left willing to touch her lips

Her lights flickered their own last call
As she ached for some more alcohol


Details | I do not know? | |

princess in a tower

far far away 
lives a girl with nothing left to 
say

tears tumble down her pale 
white cheeks
but they're  are all getting used 
to it
because she has been crying 
for weeks

she only wanted one thing
it was a small diamond ring

the ring was to set on her 
finger 
and by her side
 a man to linger

her world soon proved
it wasnt so great 
for they cast away 
her one and only true soul 
mate

their love was one that would 
last
for forever
but now because of them
it would last for never

oh the pain!
 how it never changes
but stays the same
 
she feels so lost
 in a world so framiliar  
she turns round and round
on this cold life less land

she wants to scream 
and she wants to shout
 but she she is haunted by that 
shadow of dout 

so she cries
and slowly kisses old happy 
dreams 
goodbye


Details | Rhyme | |

Another Love song

It’s time again for the Season of passion
When roses, chocolate are the fashion
I wonder how the purest emotion 
Evolved into a worldwide promotion.

Why? I still wonder. It’s just painful to accept
How can a beating heart with darkness be swept?  
Hope lingered as doubt into my own heart crept…
I won’t give up on human race…its flaws I’ll try to accept… 

Yet, I hear the words; and the pain is rekindled within: 
“I love it!” is whispered with a grin 
Hidden behind a mask that wears thin…
Weaving a web of lies without a trace of chagrin 

Smiling…
Bright yet so dark 
It’s fading… 
The doubt chokes my soul
It’s like opium; I reminisce …
Oh, the one that made me whole…
 I reached the gate of eternal bliss

 Now I am on the brim of Hades…


Details | Free verse | |

Pieces of Eternity (Seasons Finale)

Maybe it’s unacceptable 
Live a life capable of a true fable 
True friends never end 
But take you back to where it all began 
But hey misery gave us something to believe in 
Stress became a greater award as we achieved sin 
What could I say? Our savior died on a cross tough as pig skin 
Never once cried over the loss 
Forbidden fruit, Eden garden 
Excuse me, my lord, I beg your pardon 
And so what if these medics carry life in a carton 
But I ain’t trippin 
Simply because this is me until my dying day 
Please stop crying, you know I can’t stay 
I’m going to be the same until my dying day 
Over in that casket is where I’m trying to lay 
That’s right until my dying day 
True lost souls from the dark side 
Forever, we as mortals ride 
Peace is nothing, I fend for quiet time 
Rebels in riot lines 
Previous high school graduates 
Symbols of an adjective running toward fate 
True personality suffer the privilege of inmates 
How could you hesitate to ask 
There’s no stranger under this mask 
Lonely and unholy, who’s there to console me? 
I want to get away, forever restless 
You can see my similarities with the ocean 
I’m stress less 
Because this is me until my dying day 
Please stop crying, you know I can’t stay 
I’m going to be the same until my dying day 
Over in that casket is where I’m trying to lay 
My son, my friend 
We are but pieces of eternity 
Mesh on, mesh off 
Even at our best times we’re soft 
Who’s to say I’d regret my decision 
To lead a sinners life without God’s supervision 
On a one man mission 
And I know I don’t come around much 
Got my palms in reality 
Searching for something softer to touch 
Whisper in my ear, death makes me blush 
And Hell only flatters me 
One and one, through matter the winds scatter me 
I ain’t trippin, baby girl get off your knees 
You’re in the arms of a future me 
And I can’t see heaven from a distance 
Fire me over clouds like a piston 
Marching through blood 
But it’s all mud and water to Darkhouse 
Stand still let me mark my spouse 
Live my life as an outcast 
How could you even picture me at my last? 
Dear lord show some mercy on my followers 
Bless those that swallow dust to follow us 
No need to borrow sympathy 
Unforgiving sorrow made my enemies envy me 


Details | ABC | |

A Yearn for a Smile 9-21-11

	A yearn… simply something that you want or long for. As a yearn to finish, a yearn to achieve, a yearn for a like, a yearn for a smile is something that you drastically want, a desire. Something that you spend long hours, nights even day dreaming hours thinking about how you can earn that smile. What can you do…. or what can you say … things such as a conversation sparks, likes even dislikes, mostly anything that will crack a smile. These are things that truly show signs of something far greater than fame, sex, money, power. What is it? Something more than I have yet to find. So as I search for the answer I over shoot the entrance with rapid thinking of what she wants, her likes, her dislikes. But truly it will only be earned by who you are, what you want to be, yourself, your feelings your desires, your yearn. So when you yearn for that smile or that special something it can only be earned by being you, no one else. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and try to see past the makeup or tan or piercing and just look at yourself… then take that image and imprint it to yourself forever because to find happiness and your yearn  can only be earned one way. Trying to watch her and she how she reacts to certain things just to make myself seem better when I finally open my mouth to her will only make you distant from that special someone.  With me I personally see myself as buff pierced orange person, while trying to continue to follow the people who I look up to the most. So as you struggle and go through life’s trials and tribulations always look at your yearn or what it once it what was. Think about how you felt when you failed or succeeded and try to make yourself a better person from it. Not by adding more glamour or appeal to yourself but by being closer to yourself. What you really are. Because only then can you truly say you earned your yearn of a smile or that special someone, even if there not with you, apart of them will be and that’s the part they left. The part that made you better. More complete. 			So never forget your yearn of her..


Details | Couplet | |

Pulling Back

Pulling back my broken heart 
Before you can finish tearing it apart
Now I am finally beginning to see
That you never meant to love me

Desire for me is not nearly enough
Why should leaving you be so tough
Your sweet ways and masculine charms
Won’t keep me happy in your arms

Love is needed, love is required
Without love, my heart grows tired
Of waiting for you to say to me
I love you as you love me

What will I do to slowly end
This love affair with my dear friend
Our weekends together will happen less
My phone calls will be less frequent, I guess

No longer will you hear from me
How deep my love for you can be
Fewer kisses and cuddles and late nights
You say you’re not ready, I guess that’s right

My goodbye will be so very slow
I will be gone before you even know
That we could have had it all, my dear
If falling for me wasn’t your biggest fear


Details | Lyric | |

Gotta Let Their Soul Cry

 Raped and Molestated in childhood, 
   Abused and Misused in pre-adulthood,
     Alone and confused they stood; feeling
       like tainted goods.

 Let their soul cry, maybe then; they can
  regain their pride. 

 They gotta let their soul cry

 Their darkest secret's they lock  away
   within, this is why their flesh constantly
    feast off sin; and everything in life has a
     beginning, but never render an ending.

 Let their soul cry, Crying is the only way to
  gain their piece of mind.
   
One might ask," Why"? Then , I will reply,"
  They need to see at least one day filled with
     promise rather than pain and see the sun
        without having rain.
     
 They gotta let their soul cry, before their sin
  cause their flesh to die.


Details | Couplet | |

Broken Words

  Tearing time into a token
broken words of wisdom spoken

on a cinder closely cleaving
burning on as you are leaving

brush me off your sleeve like powder
must I scream a little louder?

Can't you hear me ,can't you feel me?
ribbons black as you unreel me.

all the visions in my head
of everything you did and said

now you laugh and say goodbye..............
don't turn around to watch me die.




(for a friend)


Details | Couplet | |

I'm Sorry Part 1

I'm sorry that I'm always sad, 
That I do things to make you mad.

I'm sorry that I've lost my hope,
I'm sorry for the ways I cope.

I'm sorry that I bring you down,
I'm sorry that I make you frown.

I swear to God that you must believe,
I love you more than you can see.

I'm sorry that my heart is dying,
I swear to you that I've been trying.

I'm sorry that I cannot see,
much future left in front of me.

I'm sorry that I'm so depressed,
I realy know that I'm a mess.

Writing this note's made me see,
Just how much hurt I've made you grieve.

I'm so disgusted with myself,
I'm so damn bad for your good health.

I know that It's hard to admit,
I've made this such a long hard trip.

I feel like I have ruined your heart,
Like I have torn you all apart.

I have a question for you dear,
And, yes, your answere I do fear.

You said that you missed her big picture,
When you saw, you changed your fixture.

For your sake, love, please look at mine,
Before your heart's put on the line.

I'm sorry that I'm so impatient,
I'm just afraid life's not worth waiting.

I really don't want you to leave,
I want for us to both believe.

I want to once again find hope,
But it will be hard on my own.

But then again if I'm too much,
I don't want to kill all your love.


Details | Quatrain | |

Desire of the pains of love

looking deep into her face
for minutes at a time
one finger in her hair
more pleasent than the chime

I've long dreamed of her touch
dreams to caress her mind
holding her close to heart
and we'll together bind

so close she is to me
I reach and touch her lip
gently with my finger
though lusting for her hips

and either I should kiss
as either would be bliss
as my hands draw on her
and we end so breathless

I see her hand in mine
I'd know it without sight
warming and soft to feel
I'd hold it all my nights

I wished to delve her mind
I wished to know that girl
let her sorrow be gone
unto me I shall feel

never distort the air 
nor show signs of concern
if I hold her to me
little to be discerned

but that's not who I am
to see through rosey shades
be draped in silken cloth
that's not how I was made

I see what could calm me
her sinuous body
lovely before all eyes
teasing me wantonly

see the unloved lover
so wretched to behold
I'll keep my eyes above
yet my heart remains cold


Details | Free verse | |

Transparent

Standing
under
an unjust moon
unable
   to move
from this
lurking mood
   of alone

no shadow
   cast by
this vaporous
form
reflecting nothing
   nothing
but empty
heart drained and
dust
   dry


Details | Couplet | |

I'm Sorry Part 2

I'm sorry for the ways I fight,
I'm sorry that I dim your light.

I'm sorry I'm so negative,
That I am so competative.

I'm sorry that I'm so outrageous,
I'm sorry my hurt's so contagious.

I don't want to see your heart eache,
Cuz when I do my heart it breaks.

I'm sorry that I'm not so strong,
But you inspire my hearts song.

I'm not alone cuz now I see,
Your light that's shining just for me.

I'm sorry that I'm up and down,
But, Dear, You win the patience crown.

My love for you's so strong, please see,
A fire burns for you in in me.

I know that It's hard to believe,
But God will help us, just you see.


Details | Elegy | |

Death of a Love One

I had a wonderful day, what could have went wrong
Went to sleep feeling like a brand new man
Laying in bed, sleeping so peacefully
Two guys walked in unexpectedly
They said wake up, no hesitation
Ten bullets in my back, no explanation
Was this a dream I’m gonna wake up from
No its not, I’m a completely dead man
Why me?  Answer my question
I had a family and other love ones.
Now I’m gone, but memory lives on
How about you where do you stand?


Details | Rhyme | |

Learned my lesson

Deep down in my heart,
I had seen from the start,
That you were bad for me but...
I could not resist your symphony.
Everything happend for a  reason.
But now it is time to start a new season.
From spring to summer to fall to winter.
i can not wait to earn that new splinter
Of hate,regret and depression
Now that i have learned my lesson
It is not time for him to move on to a different person.


Details | I do not know? | |

DREAMS OF THE PAST

Softly I hear,
whispers in the night.
Sleep escapes,
waiting dawns light.
Again you appear,
Dreams of the past.
A tear descends,
your out of my grasp.
I close my eyes,
It's your face I see.
This is my life,
I can only blame me.
I long for a time,
when I can be free.
From the name,
that haunts my memory


Details | Free verse | |

Remember what I taught you

A dedication to my grandpa, 
i love you and miss you,
Your legacy lives on within my heart


The sun can shine
So bright, it makes you blind
Fooling, deceiving.
Very misleading .
The world telling you it's a good day
With just a simple ray.
Penetrating your mind
Telling you to leave all that behind.
So you leave it … Searching for anything to find.
To fill that hole in your heart ...with something kind.
So you go for a stroll in a park
And see a dog with a playful bark.
As you step near
You start to grow in fear 
Foam in its mouth 
You notice your head dropping south
Chin down
And start to frown.
You realize it's not so sunny anymore
Rain pours
No more birds soar.
Drop to your knees
And freeze
Start to cry.
Then wonder why.
Why do I feel this way?
Looking for answers, you go to the bay.
Watching the storm come in, you hear someone say, 
"Remember what I taught you,
You have to be strong.
Find the right
In the wrong. 
Everything will be okay.
Some days will rain. 
Some days will shine,"
Looking around to see who it may be
You continue to listen to the voice from the sea,
"some days you need to stop everything
And pray.
The Good Lord will take it away.
I've always been your strength
Strong for you and yours sister both."
As you realize who it is 
You start to cry, from sadness…
And bliss.
"I know you miss me…
And I miss you too.
No need to cry, 
Oh Catelyn, oh me oh my. 
But just always know I'm here,
In heaven 
watching over you. 
If you ever need me.
You know where I'll be. 
Watching over you from the clouds.
No need to worry.
Don't stress so much.
Life happens.
It peaks
And it stinks..
Given , I wish I was down there to talk to you. 
But it's all in God's plan.
Everything will be for the better. 
Now I'm sorry I have to go,
Check on your sister and cousins you know
Whenever your feeling rough
Whenever life gets tough
Remember what I taught you. 
Rain may continue 
Life will happen in different Venues
But go dance in the rain
Let go of the pain. 
Enjoy the life God granted you
…it won't last forever.
Don't plan out the future 
God has his plan
Live his will out
Not yours
Remember your still a kid,
So smile and I love you Catie did"
Tears rushing down your face
Tears of joy or sorrow 
You don't really know.
Remembering what your grandfather taught you,
With his strength You stand up 
Something in your chest starts to bump
Your heart, it's whole
Alive
Beating once again.
Pain is gone 
And you live on.
Dancing in the rain
With only life to gain.


Details | I do not know? | |

Today Is Terrible----

The cracked spine of
the book I dropped
at the call.
A chip in my
windshield left by a
pompous *?#@! in a
red sports car as I
drive to the
service.
Rain expectorating
from an ashen sky as
the dirt is turned.
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
crack in grandma’s
spine from her fall
down the stairs.
The chip in her
amazingly smart mind
after eighteen years
as a teacher.
Tears running,
dripping from my
Mothers ashen face
as she cries “My
mama’s dead.”
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
cracked family
emotions left raw
and empty.
The chip in Grandpas
numb mind at the
gathering… “Where is
Irene she should be
here?”
Faces gone ashen
with dread, do we
leave him numb or
remind him that his
wife is dead?
Today is terrible.
Though this is less
terrible than the
empty silences,
missing the jokes
Grandma used to
crack.
Grandma’s laugh and
her endless smile
which always exposed
that tooth with the
chip in it.
Without her the
world has become
empty, bleak, and
ashen.
Today is terrible.

                   
                   
                   
          Summer
Gratias


Details | Verse | |

China Seas

Willow patterns chase around a bowl
Through pictographs of bluest tide,
Paper tigers and some bitter rice
When you became some others’ bride.

Sampan glides across a lily pond,
Ornamental and pristine,
Crimson dragons and a sky-ward kite
Their tails of envy brightest green.

Pagoda structures set against the sun,
A concubine salves in my head,
Scents of winter and an ending day,
The far horizon glowing red.

I search the coastline but you never come,
Just haunting trace of memories,
So I recline within my paper dreams
And sail away on China seas.


Ok, ok, it's rubbish. This is what happens when you drink Kronenbourg 1664 on 
a dismal Sunday evening and then try and write something. So let that be a 
warning to you all. Still, oddly enough I quite like it. My god, have I really drunk that 
much? Must have - I've posted it as well.


Details | Free verse | |

Forbidden Love



Dear  Forbidden  Love 

I am here to say good-bye.
I know that we are through.
But I had this on my mind...
I wanted you to know that I still loved you even though time has passed.
I know I tried to forget about you, but real love doesn't fade that fast.

I missed you so much I can't explain it so I wont even try.
If there was a way I'd find it if it meant being by your side.
So why should I try and hide it?
My love for you can't ever die.
It can only grow stronger for you. 
This is true for a fact my love for you it is so deep that no man nor beast could understand it in the very least.

Our love was unbreakable.
It went beyond the unthinkable.
It went past the sun, moon, and stars.
But even so even it was lost at some point.

Our love was forbidden.
A heart breaker in itself.
Two star-crossed lovers with no one to reach out for help.
This is why I must say good-bye my forbidden love~ 
  


 


Details | Romanticism | |

Until We Meet Again

Though parted now by time and space
We'll meet again in our secret place

Where no one knows but just we two
now I go there alone and wait for you

The yearning loneliness tugs at my soul
until we are one again I cannot be whole

My love,my sweet love how long will it be
til I kiss your lips and you're here with me

Memories of your  love still on my mind
I see only your face to all else I am blind

I look up to the heavens and I silently pray
send my love to me and please don't delay

Then I hear you whisper and I turn to see
you're here beside me and forever will be






 




Details | Free verse | |

Overprotected Heart

Overprotected Heart

A broken heart
Pieces kept together by razor wire
Such pain
Wounds from the last moment I saw you
Did you know that your words had such power?
Did you know that my heart would fall apart?
No silk threads would seal the chasms
It frayed and tore with every word
Not a drop of blood was spilt
There was none left after your attack
The sharpness of the razor wire
Its shiny points wrapped around my heart
Stabbing into the gentle muscle
Drops of blood on the tip of every blade
They reminds me of your words
The hurt you caused
It stops others from getting in
Not giving them the chance to do what you did
My heart is protected from hurt
From you and your meanness
Protected from love and happiness
All because of you


Details | I do not know? | |

Reaching the door

How do I love you? With all my 
heart.
I live with your put down, and
your anger.
Knowing the door is open, to 
leave, I try, but by the time I reach
it, it closes again.
Listening to your promises,
I believe, but then you forget you
even made them.
How do you hurt me? With your 
words, your words cut me, just like
a knife.
One day the door will open again, 
but the next time I will walk through.
Will you be sad, maybe, maybe not.
It's hard to tell, because your 
feelings, you hide them well.
I will always miss you though,
in some way, because I did love you,
and probably always will.


Details | Rhyme | |

" The Life Of Me " page 1 of 2

My name is James, born 1961
In Inverness, a small Scots town
To my father Andrew, and my mother Beryl
And Billy my brother, a pair of devils
 
In 67, we woke one night
Our house was ablaze, full of orange light
Our neighbour next door, for whatever reason
Started a fire, it must be crazy season
 
We had too move to a caravan park
By this time it,s three, to make a new start
My mother Beryl decide to leave
But the three of us left, never bothered to grieve
 
In the next few weeks, we ended in court
Two small children, in a marriage abort
We were asked to choose either Dad or Mum
But we ignored the parent, who went on the run
 
As we left the court, to start a new life
We felt sorry for Dad, as his illness was rife
He never told us that he was unwell
It would upset one of his boys, as the future will tell
 
Then came the night all parents dread;
Being told one of his boys is nearly dead
We were going to a boys club, on a Monday night
My brother was running so far out of sight
 
I turned the corner to see him ahead
No!! he's been hit by a van, Boom's  Boom's dead
I ran to my father, sreaming and crying
I'm finding my life,at 7 - far too trying
 
After the funeral, and with my father unwell
We left Inverness, our eyes a swell
To go as two, and not three as before
It's like Mother Nature closed a door
 
So we headed west, to a place called Fort William
Was it in the stars, cause Billy " is " William
We moved there, as the air was so pure
Hoping my father will find his cure
 
For whatever reason, we left the above
We found no Angel or peaceful dove
So we headed back to Inverness
Fathers health decreasing, life still a stress
 
Over the next few years, i was fostered and loaned
In couples houses and children's homes
It was really strange in all those places
Different people, different faces

Then on the 16th of Feb - 76,
James, i was told, your dads very sick.
The cancer had taken your father away
To be with Billy, where you'll join them one day

In 77, i joined the Navy, as i promised my dad you see. 
I did'nt enjoy it, i decided to leave 
Back up north, where my futures to be 
I wanted to have, what my parents had lost 
And that was my aim, no matter the cost

see page 2 of 2, ty..


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php


Details | I do not know? | |

But You Do Lie

Laying here in my bed
Listening to your deep and shallow breath
Such a smooth and calm sound
I roll over and lay a hand on your chest
Too much movement it seems
For you rolled onto your side
As I steal my hand away
I close my eyes and try not to cry
I get out of bed and move to the couch
I lay there in silence, smoke in hand
I try and calm my pounding heart
Finally drifting off to dream land
I wake with a start
A gasp caught in my chest
I feel strong arms gently squeeze
And a warm hand on my breast
I stiffen with fear
Until you softly say my name
The tension slowly ebbing
Until calmness has the reigns
You kiss the back of my neck
In that slow and sensual way
Repeating my name in a whisper
A game you know how to play
You gently roll me over
And take my head in your hands
You kiss my forehead lightly
The beginning of a dance
You gaze at me deeply
And said “I love you so much I can’t stand it”
You begin kissing my eyes and lips
Stealing like a bandit
I take you in my arms
And feel my insides quake
You run your fingers through my hair
Giving it a little shake
You pull away from me slowly
And looked deeply in my eyes
I blush and turn away
I don’t want to see any lies
You lay down behind me
And hold me so very tight
And then you said those words
I dream of every night
“You are all I ever wanted,
You are all I’ll ever need,
I’ll do anything you want me to,
Just spend your life with me”
I don’t know why I did it
But I begin to cry
He pulls me even closer
“I love you, Trust me I don’t lie”
I can feel myself roll over
What happens next, who knows
For I awake with a start
The tears still soaking into my pillow
I finally get my bearing
Everything is as it seems
It turns out you do lie
But only in my dreams


Details | I do not know? | |

Did I Remember To Tell You Daddy

Almost three years now Daddy
since you were taken away
I thank God you no longer suffer
but I had so much more to say

But you and I were always very close
and I know that we still are
So be free to enjoy family and friends
I know you'll never be far

Oh but  Daddy
Did I remember to thank you 
for coming to stay with the kids and I 
At times you thought you were a burden
but if anyone was it was I

And I want to tell you too Daddy
that you would be so proud of them all
Brandon's now a sergeant with a son on the way
Cam Jeremy is due early fall

And your little Sarah Daddy
you would be so very proud
She's a tiny little thing, still a great mom
and has the best boys in any crowd

And I'm sure you've been watching Curtis
So you know he's just like you
And he is living up to the promise he made
Yes Daddy I'm very proud too

Oh and one more thing 
before I lay down to rest
Did I remember to tell you and the world
that
 My Daddy's the best

Loving you and missing you always
Your baby girl


Details | Free verse | |

Chewing Glass

O' how thy eyes are set on me!
My trembling face turns from thee
Thy angelic hands brush my pain
The touch chills December through my veins
When you speak my spirit wisps
My days turn from stone to brass
But the night you shared a kiss
I was chewing glass.


Details | Free verse | |

steph

I can’t help but thinking of you.
don’t have to say a word just want to be with you,
I look at you, you make me smile. 
friends think I’m crazy, all I think is WOW,
I look at you, chills run down my spine,
always thought you were beautiful and fine,
life has changed since I saw you,
which makes me want to be with you, 
looking at you is more than a dream come true,
words can’t explain of how I feel about you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Sometimes

Sometimes a hug is needed
To dry up someone’s tears
Sometimes a hug is needed
To calm a person’s fears

Sometimes a calming touch is needed
From a friend or stranger too
Sometimes the hardest words to hear
Are the ones “I love you”

Sometimes your path gets dark and drear
And your days pass by in no hurry
Nobody is around to comfort you
All is left to do is worry

The best of days can be forgotten
When the tears come falling down
All you can think of is grief of the past
All that will fit is a frown…

Will some one please just give me a hug
And tell me they love me so?
This is one time that sometime is needed
Just hug me and let your love show!?


Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 1 of 2

Around that table, picture the scene
Self appointed leaders if you know what I mean
What were the topics on the Agenda that day
The Jewish race is about to pay

Who gave the right for this decision that's made
Who has the right to cleanse and degrade
To decide who lived, to decide who dies
Another chapter, I still wonder why

They came in the day they came in the night
Women and children pulled out of sight
Herded aboard like cattle and sheep
Many a family awoke from their sleep

Dazed and confused as they are taken away
Where will they be at the end of the day
From their warm houses and their warm beds
What must be going through their heads

As they travel through days and through the night
Up ahead, they see lots of lights
They depart the trucks and board the train
Their faces scared under the strain

Asking questions from family and others
Generations, sisters and brothers
Why are we here, where are we going
Windowless carriages with no way of knowing

We come to a stop, soldiers aplenty
Towers and wire, topped with sentries
What can this place be they have taken us to
As we head to large gates as they shuffle us through

Families separated, herded in file
Women and children, not one did smile
Taken to rooms where our heads were shaved
Is this the way humans behaved

Clothes discarded, as we enter the shower
No signs of water no signs of power
Doors slammed as we are all crammed in
History will recall this evil of sins

As we stand in the dark, chanting Jewish faith
Can hear the voices can't see the face
Noises above, do the showers start
The event has begun that tells us Humans apart

Questions and sighs, as walled vents show daylight
Some thing is falling then their slammed tight
A strange aroma starts to fill the air
As all around are screams of despair

Twenty minutes have passed and the quietness is rife
Two thousand people, two thousand lives
Pellets called HCN, or Hydrogen Cyanide
Contribute to this Genocide


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | I do not know? | |

The Only Way

A life of pain and mistaken thoughts
Afew sliced veins a kid mistaught
A kids mistrust
His soul in tatters
To his wrist this razor was thrust
His dreams shattered
A life of lies
A kid misunderstood
His unheard cries
Wanting nothing but to cause some good
Sitting alone
Thinking of his past
His future unknown
For this day will be his last
Wanting only for this pain to be gone
Suicide, the only way he knows how
So he knows this dawn
It will be over now, all over
He grabs his blade
Holds it to his wrist
His life betrayed
Longing to feel its final kiss
He screams
Blood starting to gush
It was just like his dreams
Such a rush
He smiles knowing
The pain is over now
His blood if flowing
It was the only way he knew how


Details | Rhyme | |

Try and Love Again

   Deep and dusky, far away,
shielded from the light of day,
a heart afraid to feel the heat,
builds another wall complete,
not knowing ever if, not when,
it can try to love again.

   Broken pieces, scattered dreams,
unseen tears an unheard screams,
bottled up inside this shell,
of a heart protected all too well,
in armor safe I built within,
afraid to try to love again.
   
   Will this heart ever break the chain,
of sorrow, cheating, lies and pain?
Will it reach for the gentle, loving touch,
of the hand it needs to feel so much?

  If only it could know just when,
to try and love again.


Details | Free verse | |

One Stitch at a Time

dedicated…
to this hurt
to this pain

until you
ask 
me
why?
I cannot explain

and I want
to tear my heart
OUT!
and show you
everything 
that I am..
not

the edges
frayed
tattered
because I let them
in
gave each of
them
the sharpest scissors

hoping for curled up edges
like
Christmas ribbon
instead 
I am unraveled
like your
favorite sweater

I want you to be 
angry…
I ruined your
hope
of perfection

just put me
in your keepsake 
box
with all the other
possibilities
the could-have-beens
the almost maybes

but
you offer 
me the most 
beautiful golden
thread..

fix yourself, you say

but I can’t sew
and I feel
useless
once 
again…

until 
you take my hand
in yours
and teach
me
..
.
One stitch 
at
A 
Time


Details | I do not know? | |

A Lonely Voice Crying In The Night

    In the silence of the night
    A lonely voice is heard crying in the night
    It's soul longs for the love lost long ago
    It's heart aches for the happiness it will never know
    Trapped in this world that feels nothing but pain
    Shackled to a world that lets it live the heartache again and again
    Struggling each day  just to survive
    Hiding all the pain and living in a lie
    Only in the dark of night can it let it's voice cry 
     When other's like it know the reason why
     I can hear that voice you see
     The lonely voice crying in the night is me
 
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Lamentable You

Hell seemed to encompass the land As I watched him holding your hand For a moment I was happy for you And then my shameful heart gave way Earth longed to suck me in its waters Above fellow demons and their hollers We rue the day we ever existed Longing for the touch of human flesh We were trained to eat at your souls To fill your poor deprived holes With filth and emaciated sin Slithering within…bellowing within… And when I look at him I know he’s yours I should have seen it coming of course You never wanted a nothing like me And someone is to blame I see The voices in your head made you cower You once were awed by my power But now the beauty of love has destroyed us I am nothing, and he is yours Take her you bastard of a fool! I don’t need anyone, for I will rule I will rule over her vessel And mark me, she will detest you! Remarkable as she is you will leave her While I in the darkness keep her But for now I’ll lie in wait For the perfect time to ensnare Let go of his hands And allow this heart a chance Let the man lose his compass Only to stumble upon a new woman Oh, lamentable you! I force your love to be true Kiss me, my hate—my love, you fool! He’s never coming back for you! Because you are not special You belong to nobody—nothing! And you shall find That you were always… MINE.


Details | Rhyme | |

THESE LIPS ARE TO COLD TO KISS

Time, is combined, in my mind.
Tragedy trickles to nowhere,
And now this pain I bare.
Seeing you for your worth,
Hearing you are only earth.
Killing, and filling, this feeling.
Lame, losers look like you.
Now this heart you threw,
Up on, and left the mess.
So this is progress?
Torture, under, this blur.
Blindsided by big, bountiful, beams,
That left me in shattered dreams.
Never thought I could catch this,
Because these lips are to cold to kiss.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dry Your Tears

Dry your tears, clear your eyes
Ease your pain with mournful sighs
Soon the grief will fade away,
When you hear what i have to say.

I don't mean to pry
In your business or life,
But i don't like it when you cry...
I want to know what is wrong in your life!

Don't shed away
Tell me what's wrong
And everything will be okay,
No matter what you say.

Everybody has problems,
And everyone has pain,
If you don't deal with them,
You'll have nothing to gain.

Dry your tears, clear your eyes
Ease your pain with mournful sighs'
Soon the grief will fade away......
When you hear what i have to say!


Details | I do not know? | |

She's Gone

She's Gone
and she's never coming back
my heart was filled with love
now my heart is being attacked.

She's Gone
and now i have no heart
Why can't we be together even after
death due us part?

When she left  my heart shut down
my soul and my body just fell to the ground.
One by one they ran seperate ways
it was like two people
running in a maze
for a love 
that was no more.

She's Gone
to a place 
much better than here
but I still remember
the way she whispered in my ear
and the way my hands felt in her hair.
So much love.
so much care.
So many people crying everywhere
and i still managed to keep in all inside.

I know she's dead
and I know she's gone
but i miss the way she felt in my arms
my love for her
did no harm
but now she's gone
I said she's gone
and I still go to her grave
to play her favorite song
she's been gone  for to long.


Details | Free verse | |

new sensations harbor ill will toward the mind

New ambient light taking hold of that which was once darkened by time.
New thoughts eluding desires and all answers to the questions at hand.
Laminated emotions taking the places of the empty spaces inside the mind.
Feel the love from behind the reinforced glass? Didn’t think it was possible.
Now the age of reasoning comes into play, now is the time for deep thought.
The devil calls for pain, in waves that crash on this body like water on rock.
No visible damage but over time it wears it down to nothing, little by little.
Plunging into the deep end surrounding the mind and clouding the vision.
Breathing is impossible, gasping for air only brings water into the lungs.
This feels like dying. This feels like numbing. This feels better than living.


Details | Blank verse | |

Love Song

Here’s what I’m thinking now 
at the end of the world: 

There are no atheists in foxholes— 
no theists in politics. 
If knowledge is power, 
and power corrupts, 
then why did I bother reading you, Cicero? 

Does it matter that I didn't’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

There’s a poetry reading tonight 
whence I’I'll chide other poets 
who don’t sit alone. 
I won’t bring up death 
but I might have to breathe, 
even into a mike 
and mouth lines to get a snap or a boo 
maybe even a wince or two. 

Just maybe I’I'll talk about love 
and how following your heart is like following a dog— 
it only leads to vittles and (female dogs). 
But how many times have I used that line 
since the story I wrote about you, 
a witty and sexy and fictional you? 
Most likely I’I'll read something tonight about you. 

I won’t recite it from memory 
because I don’t think about you that much anymore, 
not even when I search for my socks in your drawer 
or when I put on the scratchy sweaters you give me, 
horizontally striped to bring out my eyes? 

I don’t remember your eyes 
except they are blue. 
And I don’t remember you, 
not even when I smell cucumber and apple, 
not even when I sleep on my side of the bed 
or when you walk through the door 
happy to see me; 
even then I don’t remember you. 
Does it matter that I don’t love you? 
Would it have mattered if I did? 

How about a few one-liners 
for the end of days?— 

Depression is self-awareness, 
which you’d know if you were; 
I need Ritalin to listen to you, 
Lithium to hug you, 
Viagra to feel you, 
and Valium to sleep. 

All you need 
is me standing there, waiting at home 
with turns of phrase and word plays 
telling you about why I hate Ayn Rand 
but want to buy as much as I can 
and how I love celebrity gossip 
and detest poetry slams 
and find rhyming trite 
except when I am. 

Hypocrites can still be right, 
which you do understand 
because you nod at my nonsense 
about fighting the man. 

But now, at the end of all things— 
I’m speechless and witless and pointlessly well-read, 
and you’re just sitting there, smiling 
asking me to pass the bread.


Details | Couplet | |

I Can't Change the Way You Feel

Every since we went together, 
You've been on my mind. 
I care about you so much, 
I just can't leave you behind. 

Your smile, your laugh, your personality--heart 
Seeing you makes me think about what we should have had from the start. 

After all the lying, arguing, and crying, 
I wanted to be with you so I kept trying. 
I think I'm holding on to you because we never had serious love, 
We're suppose to be as close as 2 matching gloves. 

Letting other females take you away was the wrong move, 
If you want me back, you have a lot to prove. 
All I wanted was for you to be real with me, 
But all you did was lie. 
I lay down at night and I always wondered why. 

Someday I will accept the fact that we're not meant to be, 
I always wanted the key to your heart but you never gave me the key. 

I gave you my all, but I guess that wasn't good enough... 
I Cant Change the Way You Feel.


Details | Free verse | |

A Blade To Heart

Oceans speak it loud and clear
The skies whisper it in thy ear
All dreams fade into somewhat else
And thoughts of the Heavens melt
A cleft heart of thine to persevere
Another soul to make sincere
When all sanity has fell, anew,
The hearts austere when love is true
Shackles scar these wrists of mine
The rust infects thy cancerous shrine
Thy voice is music to a mind's suicide,
Thy touch is acid, thy eyes see dark
Like guiding lights in darkest nights,
Loneliness sensates a blade to heart.


Details | Free verse | |

TIME



If time heals all, what heals time?
For it cannot be changed, its burned into history, burned into the fabric of time like a scratch on a track.

Time can make us feel regret that we did not use it the best we could or it can make us rejoice remembering that good moment in time.

It is a fickle thing that most will not appreciate until it’s gone.

I myself have had more pain than good, but does that count as bad time as it made my character and is the reason I have this strength and insight on life. 

So I don’t believe in or good or bad moments in time, its all on how we look at it and use it going forward. 

The most important thing to remember and learn from the past is that we ALL make mistakes . .  but only a fool repeats them.

Yours Fraternally 

TIME


Details | Blank verse | |

Sword of Roses

What, then, is Love but a sword of roses
Which cleaves poor waiting hearts
And thusly drunk with the blood of saints
Exults in its own dissipation?

And mine, a soul it so jagged gashed,
A scarred and wilted husk
Which once had songs to Heaven sung
Yet now but gasps with the fetid breath of dying things...

Oh soft Night's tapestry:meadows, fields, 
The courtyards of the Moon!
Now but brittle corpses endraped in silken mask,
Their board and banquet but sullen Death
Mocking of Light, fair Hope, and fond Embrace...


Details | Blank verse | |

Frozen Memory

I climbed the face
     of a lightless dawn
glossed in silent frost
     between
wanting
and 
     knowing
naught.

From above fell my tears
crystal
     upon your eyes turned
beyond.

I watched you out of sight
and 
     left you there
on the down side
fading
     into yesterday gone.


Details | Free verse | |

You Missed Me

At the glassy gate, I wait for you
adding cherry between breaths
adding robes to your soft name
ushering the syllables through my warm mouth
echoing like the sight of a star
on my heart, your name is woven and sewn
like the stitching in my baby blanket
and the baby hands that find your beating chest
I am bound to you
and you, to my gates
 
But then,
you see the blood on my posts
and then,
my eyes stern and welled,
fixed like the sun, you spin
as night hunkers over you
like a broad toothy uncle
pulling you aside, arms slung like sandbags
impressing you with fools gold
teaching you to gawk, painting me a circus
causing you not to see me,
hiding my heart beneath my chest
and this smooth skin, my red wine gates…
 
 And no matter how I call, the tracks will lay, the wheels will fall
 
I would cry but it’s too late… the station’s gone…
 
You missed me love,
you missed me…


Details | Lyric | |

Borderline's Wreckage

I'm Agonizing every Word that my mind Creates You've done this all to me release your wrath to Me You wonder How much a Human Heart can take I've reached the limit You've invaded me on every level none of this is Mine anymore I can't bleed enough for You We're through This, This Torture Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You Feel Free to abuse If it's you I won't lose The Winds push away The Vines pull forth I'm at a lose on what to do So very lost and Confused Don't say we're through Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You I Hate you ...Don't leave me I push you so far away But need you so close I'm on the edge you're all I really need I'll do anything Just don't Abandoned me leaving has it's toll Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You


Details | I do not know? | |

VOICES FROM THE DEEP

We once walked along together, 
In the morning, by the sea.  
Two young hearts rejoicing sweetly, 
Hearts as happy as could be.  	

She began to hear strange voices 
Speaking words I could not hear.
Voices from her inner sanctum--
Words not meant for human ear.

Soon her mind began to hearken
To the voices from within,
And a heart that once sang sweetly,
Never sang so sweet again.

I remember, in September,
On a golden, autumn day, 
My true love was not beside me
When I strolled beside the bay.

I had searched, but could not find her
For our early morning stroll,
And my heart was beating slowly--
There was anguish in my soul.

Then they brought the tragic tidings;
That they'd pulled her from the sea.
Unheard voices had seduced her--
And took my very life from me.

Phantom voices in the midnight
Had aroused her from her sleep,
She'd surrendered to their calling,
When they beckoned from the deep.


Details | Epitaph | |

Suicide Is My Only Choice (I'm sorry)

i became a Christian... and now i realize... death is the only answer....


i hate to admit
that i live my life
it sickens me so

i found Christ
and i found him alone

i find it funny
that the church continues
to feel i should stay that way

alone

they banish me
outcast me
and see me as bad person

all because of what I've done
in my past

i love god
and i love Jesus
but sadly
i cannot stand Christians

they are what first made me
what i used to be

is it fair to anyone
who wants to be one of us
has to feel so bad
at what the church says
he must become

people say to live by example
but what if the example
is fake
and what if the example
is what is keeping you from becoming
what your meant to be

its sad
the church, that is
to see such a beautiful building
and it have such a rotten core

if people could only see
that the church is not Christianity
theres no way a person in there will set you free

only one of them can

his name is Christ

i loathe the fact that some of the 'christians'
think they are so worthy
to save somebody
but they don't realize
they save nobody
only THE ONE can save one from the one they used to be

i mean
look at me


Details | Free verse | |

I Loved You

Love is like a river that runs and hides
For I will never be by your side and yet my heart still wants you
But I can't bring myself to say anything to you
I'm just glad that I knew of you
Why?, I ask you why? Why could I not have been with you when you felt afraid? 

I know you hear me calling out you name.
Do not be fooled by uncertain fame for it is lost faster then it is gained
Speak not of me if you will but please remember this...I loved you


Details | Narrative | |

Quit That Tapping

like the raven 
who taps taps upon 
your chamber door
do not fret my Virginia
for it's my shadow
moving across the floor
this is what I'm telling you my darlin
and nothing more

beneath lattice
I still call your name
come to me virginia
come hear the tap tap 
upon your chamber door
for only you my love 
I surrender and never more

wind howls in blanket snows
here I stand so all alone
broken hearted and misconstrued
my Virginia who lies under stars and moon
just a tap tap upon your chambers door
tis I and nothing more

tales of hidas truth
blackbird sings harps cords
just like the tap tap upon your chambers door
my sweet Virgina whom I adore
for there'll be love waiting and nothing more

as I lay right next to you in this tomb
I counted only seven who have even knew
the times of this raven who 
tapped tapped upon your chambers door
twas only I and will be never more


Tribute To Edgar Allen Poe
And His Young Bride Virginia
Also To His Poem The Raven


Details | Free verse | |

Only Once

Darkness laid around us like a blanket
Consuming us in its womb
She was crying
I was quiet

Crickets chirped softly in the distance

Her face was buried in my chest
She was shaking like a small child
I felt numb
She was sorry

The moon looked down upon us

I thought it would be different
I thought I would be empowered
She thought it would be different
She thought she would be free

I rolled her softly over
I sat up to view the night
She curled up in a ball
Still wriggling with remorse

Patting her on the shoulder
I lit a cigarette


Details | Free verse | |

Fragile

Tears running down her cheek
So many hurtful words
So many left unsaid
Eyes swollen with the agony of his memory.

Life:
A horrific nightmare
Feelings:
Dead to all
Heart:
Broken to pieces
She's fragile and ready to fall.

Eyes dripping with sadness
Her heart growing colder than ice
Out the window and into the night
Swearing the last tears were cried.

Life:
A horrific nightmare
Feelings:
Dead to all
Heart:
Broken to pieces
She's fragile and ready to fall.

Losing control of all emotions
Sanity slipping from her fingers
Wanting memories of him to leave
Wishing the pain would wash away.

Life:
A horrific nightmare
Feelings:
Dead to all
Heart:
Broken to pieces
She's fragile and ready to fall.


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost

Lost
Left in the cold
Lost
All alone

The wind gently blowing
As if giving a push
The wolves now howling
Just behind the bush

Give me a call, send me sign
Say, is someone there?
Where's the trail two heart binds
Where's my dear lady fair. 

I thought you would stay 
But my heart is dismayed
When you simply walk away
And left me without a say...


Details | Diamante | |

Love???

A word of sorrow no longer kept
a will for tommorow my love is spent
No longer wondering how  it will ever feel
words will never heal
the pain you caused all because
you needed to feel like a man 
why dont you understand
you hurt me 
my love is spent.
you hurt me and silenced my laughter
but you didn't break me; yet Im still standing
My love is spent but not broken i will not
lose again


Details | Romanticism | |

Love Letters To the Sky

         Walking on stars

                          Stepping stones of the skies

      I trace the memories of love afar

                              Old scents of sorrow arise

  
                                   ~~~


     Fill the hearts in with red

                         Flames of love spilling down my throat

      To my heart infects the black truth

                                 The ink of the love letters wrote


                                   ~~~

              Seek a different heart to reap

                                          To cure your self-faulty thereof

                   But as the silken layers keep peeling,

                                                              All we find is a cleft love.


Details | Free verse | |

In Response

In response 

To your worried heart

Mind, mouth and stomach

Your busy thoughts 

 

 


In response to your

Shaking hands and ill head

Your rightfully placed overreactions 

You're right in placing them…pacing then

 


In response to your love for me

Well I cannot ignore it 

So I blush and beg for it

Secretly…of course 

 

 


You are my everything and I will do anything 

To hush your fears 


Details | I do not know? | |

Freedom from the Wall

Clouds unite
they end all fight
darkness prevails
the bride with no veil
to see with no eyes
why do we despise
as the world does turn
our minds they do churn
thinking too much
my mind loses clutch
and the wall does grow
so high i cannot throw
my words at your mind
they fall short then behind
frustration sets in
as the sun goes to fin
the darkness will win
not i as this is my sin
i will glance with no stare
find the pain that is there
and the wind will be fair
as it carries my prayer
one day you will feel
what i meant to steal
as the darkness will peel
my pain from this real
communicate i cant
i try but its faint
i turn on my pain
i turn on my pain
i turn on my pain
i cannot regain
i want to show the day
that the sun will remain
as the clouds unite
they don't end all fight
it is i that must cite
it is i that must fight
for only i can prevail
only minds can grow stale
if not used you will trail
if not used you will fail
if not seen its your grail
if not noticed your in hell
i will try to tell all
i must try to not fall
only you will be seen
in my eyes of ever clean
that the tears will one day fall
down my cheek in all glory
as they will be of not pain
but rejoice as i gain
and rejoice we shall reign
to the water of no shame
as i finally can blame
no one else for my rain
and all the world will see
it was i that was freed
it was i with no creed
that was released to bleed


Details | I do not know? | |

Cry's of a Broken Hearted-- Angel

Cry's of a Broken Hearted Angel
She Still Flys...
Shining Love.. Ever so Bright
Touching... Heavenly Skies

As She passes by
You can see Her.. Twinkling light
Shooting across the sky
Through the night

Her Heart tis broken
She can-not deny..
Words unspoken
For Love she has inside

She Still Sings... can You hear
ForEver... Sweet Love
Divine and True
Come to Our Majestic King..
Come before tis too late for You!

Tho Her Heart tis broken inside
For Souls.. whomsoever be too late
For they delay.. their moments of Fate
As Her Heart Crys.. yet.. She still Shines

Tis Angel.. She Proclaims and Declares
God's Divine Love.. is for Everyone.. Everywhere..
In Hopes For Souls.. to Hear.. believe.. 
God's Beautiful Love 
God has to give to thee

Come to Jesus Christ our King
As She still sings Love.. within Her Heart
Hoping.. Light shall shine within Souls
whomsoever come be Born-again
Eternal Love Everlasting.. Jesus Beholds

As tis Angel flys.. Hear her crys..
Come to Jesus.. Receive His Divine Love inside
Glorious Majestic Love of Christ
Grace is given for You.. Eternal Life


Details | Lyric | |

Why Must It Be

Can I let you go? Will you be okay? Where you're headed now...to a better place Listen to my words of forgiveness relieving this pain I'd give anything to have you back again To hold you once more in my arms, one more day of happiness you now dwell within my heart Your innocent smile is forever a distant memory, and the times that we share are precious treasures that I spend reliving The Shadow of Death Took you in just one breath Why must it be? I cry behind this closed door, searching desperately for an answer, yet all I feel is an emptiness inside... despair haunts me forevermore Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave? Why does this have to hurt? Cancer robbed thy life from thee... Why must it be? Fly away Angel Child of Mine Trod thy broken paths, roam away, fly and be free... Why must it be?


Details | Couplet | |

Insanity

You say you want me to be free,
but really you just don't want me. 

Now i'm drowning in my pain,
standing in the pouring rain. 

How this fell apart is such a shame.
You made this in to some game. 

You were just in it because you had some thing to gain.
Your lies are driving me insane.


Details | Lyric | |

A Piece Of Lace

[Verse-1]
I watched you walk by yesterday, and yes again you turned and looked away
You never give me the time of day, and you're always looking sad and grey
A small piece of lace from your pink dress, is all that's left of you and me
Wish I could take back yesterday, when I went astray and set you free
I wish I could find the words to say, instead of making you look away
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Verse-2]
I know that I still need your love, because my heart is always feeling blue
And I guess I'll never be the same, for playing around and being untrue
You gotta know this isn't what I wanted, cause now I'm always on my knees
But I can see how you like your freedom, of being with him and not with me
But baby a twist of fate's what tore us apart, and placed this look upon my face
Oh! it's still funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Chorus]
A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Verse-3]
All those things that you used to do, is what made me fall in love with you
You gave me your all once upon a time, but like a fool I up and flew
And the things I went and said that day, made you fade and drift away
I never shoulda treated you that way, cause baby I need you here today
The sun keeps hiding behind the clouds, and all I do is sit and cry
And this piece of lace holds my heart at bay, I don't know...maybe it's a sign

[Chorus]
A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace


Details | Elegy | |

Time Consumes Life

Just one more time, 
just one more breath,
 just one more moment to remember the past, 
lull in thy memories, 
breathe in thy essence, 
to look upon thy face,
 to know you still care,
 to know what we had was special, 
to be preserved in preferred memories. 

Where I am going I know naught.
 Floating as if in limpid water currents, 
languor reaching but finding not,
 solitary enraged soul longing for one more kiss, 
one kiss whence naught. 
Malformed monsters feast 
upon the vermin ravishing mine soul, 
my tender heart loathing sunset’s rays enfold, 
nighttime beseech me, broken heart unfold. 
Another night shine through tears, 
summoned by memories a hundredfold,
 putrid time consumes life; 
Cruel Life Sleeps.


Details | I do not know? | |

"I Remember"

I remember the first time,
You came to my house,
All we did was sit on the couch.
We sat and held hands and watched my little sister dance.
I don't know about you,
But I had fun,
Welcome to my life,
It's day number one!
The second day you came,
We sat and we talked,
Then my little brother asked you to go play basketball.
It was dark outside,
And it had just finished raining,
You fell in my pond,
And spent most of the night complaining.
I don't guess I can blame you,
I'd probably feel the same,
If I were soak 'n wet,
On my second "date".
You had to borrow my dad's pants,
which of course were way too small,
Quite frankly I think we both agree,
That they didn't fit at all.
I don't know if all of this you recall,
But on "date" number two,
I had a ball.
Over the next couple of months,
It seemed you had become,
A BIG part of my family,
For you were my first love.
We have a lot of memories,
We had a lot of fun,
But once again I'm only one.
Now that you're free again,
I have one question I'd like to ask...
Is your love for me held within?...
Or do you wish to keep your freedom,
which you finally have at last.


Details | Ballad | |

My Long Lost Friend

He was my best friend
His name was Snoopy
He was a beagle
My favorite pet.

I got him on Christmas day
He was just a little pup
I loved him so much
Then God took him away.

He was out hunting 
He never came back
He was gone 
Just like that.

I wonder every day
Where is he
Alive or…
Dead?

I still miss him so
I cry at night
Missing him
Missing him.  



Details | I do not know? | |

A broken heart.....

How can I trust another 
When the one I trusted the most 
hurt me without even a reason 
When I thought we were so close 
He was the one I loved the most

Oh how my heart aches
As the tears slowly fall
Can my heart stand the pain
Until I have cried them all

God, help me to turn away 
This heartache I cannot pave 
God, help me to stay 
I know it will get better along the way

In this unkind world I must be brave 
God, help me to breathe 
With faith I can only believe
God, help me to be free 
because without you there's no guarantee
 


Details | Lyric | |

Love went away

It hurt so much to let you go
It hurt me more then you could ever know
When it has to do with me you never really care
But I love you, Daddy, and I'll always be there

Even when my heart is torn
Even when when it's pricked by the love thorn
Even when we say our good-byes
Even when I listen to your lies

Your little girl is fully grown
Your little girl was so alone
So where were you dad
How could you make your little girl so sad

Even when I begged for you to answer my call
Even when you made me feel so small
Even when  I cried
Even when you were stuck in your pride

I always did my best
And even then you never were impressed
I never felt right, I never felt okay
Our love just went away




Details | Rhyme | |

holokauston Page 2 of 2

After the quiet we all have to go
Dragged and carted by the Sonderkommando
To be dumped in pits covered by lime
A race to dispose by it's Human slime

Auschwitz, Buchenwald & Dachau slaughtered
Many a son, many a daughter
Experiments on children women and men
Some aged 90, many under 10

In 45, their end was near, how many alive would reappear
As Russians, British and US troops
Chased the Hun to their German roots
Each camp reached showed it's sordid past
Where millions of me, were massively gassed

In Auschwitz, to this present day
Birds don't fly, no animals play
The reminder is all for there to see
Those terrible days what happened to me

It's 1948, our Nation is born
From histories past, populations torn
To all who survived I wish you well
And our new born world, called Israel 


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-2.php


Details | Narrative | |

Under My Skin

Alone she sits at a table for two
In the corner bistro off Main
Cole Porter’s "I’ve Got You under My Skin"
Wafts softly throughout the room 
After hours of lingering hope 
She watches happy clients come and go
Bubbles of happiness fill their chatter
Laughter walks out trailing behind


Alone she sits and surveys the room
Even the wait staff now seems scarce
Time has vanished like steam in air
A waiter hints it is closing time
Table lights now give out a faint glow
Too much to bare, she decides to leave
But…O, how she loves him so! And though it's late
Still, she stalls… perhaps he will show up soon  

10/'09

For Brian Strand's Contest-A haiga to Edward Hopper's "Automat"


Details | Rhyme | |

Where Once

Where Once it was as perfect as it seemed
To perfect to be a dream
For dreams eventually end
And reality takes its place
Where you are left alone
Staring sadly at your own face
Where Once there was a star bright smile
Is only an empty canvas
On which a symbol of joy will never grace
For the lonely to hold the empty
To awake in the arms of a ghost
Like having a party for one
And you are the guest and host
Where Once was a hand to hold
Now there is only a shoulder cold
No one to cry with
No one to care
No one to laugh with
No one is there
Forget what you want to remember
Only remember what you want to forget
Where Once was certainty
There is only regret
The fairy tales have all died
No morning sun to arise at dawn
The dreams are all empty
The fantasy is all gone
Where Once upon a time
The future seemed so clear
Now the journey is frozen
Tainted with fear
Fear of the unknown
Fear of the truth
Fear of the lie
Where Once there was trust
There is now only a goodbye


Details | Blank verse | |

Left Undone

Cold so cold
    the night
and the sea
    so black
and floating things
    brush my legs
toes numb and buried between
farewell and forever gone.
    You never did finish it
    after all
half notes hang in the frost
    of November
waiting ...
sink me in a moment’s sunlight
    reflected in tears
fallen from green eyes much like
    your own.
x


Details | Free verse | |

First date

First date


I spent the evening
wishing you would make the first move.
I marked your song
but listened from a safe distance.
 
The gap between us elongated 
like an escalator 
laying down its treads
with the handrail busy, trying playing catch–up.
 
Over dinner the distance between us grew wider.
But we carried on as if we were governed by some unwritten rule.
But like a fool, I held back 
least the evening might finish too soon.
 
I surveyed your face for that give away glance.
Waited patiently for that inner dance.
Hoping that it would surface.
But your light remained red
even though I was on amber.
 
So I stayed, quiet, still.
Smiling, nodding and agreeing.
Mirroring your every gesture.
Matching your every move.

 
I searched inwardly for a hint of salvation.
I searched outwardly for some possible intension.
I was hurting like a defeated soldier.
I want to know you before you get older.
 
I spent an evening
wishing I had made the first move.
I marked your song
but foolishly maintained a distance.


Details | Free verse | |

Make Me Hate Your Face

I focus on things
that make me hate your face.
Maybe then the pain will fade.

I know deep inside
I care about your life,
but right now I just want to forget.

You don't understand,
never will,
how you've pierced my heart.

I wish I could say
it will just go away,
but the blade cut too deep.

I feel the blood,
it trickles down my chest,
and it draws me to my knees.

I fall to the floor,
pray it will all finish now,
maybe this pain will finally be undone.


Details | Senryu | |

#43

2 a.m. no sleep
Restless, not even tired yet
The candle flickers


Details | Alliteration | |

The Bleeding Heart of a Standing Wall

 I’m pouring my heart all over your soul,
But nothing can come without a toll,

My emotions are being torn to shreds,
Like a needle tearing through the threads,

But in the end no walls will fall,
In fact they’ll be standing tall,

Only to one with such a fate,
Your lies have arrived a little too late,

For in the end when the walls wont fall,
Your lies will surely get hanged in the hall.


Details | Free verse | |

VACANCY


I don't have filled spaces.
Nonexisting time lies to me,
making me feel as if I were not empty.
Space remains painfully unoccupied in me.
There is no prince
no poetry or sigh
that a sigh without cause is consequence of passion.
There is no romance or excitement.
Word or song.
Meaning or ignorance.
I don't have time, it's true,
for I am filled with the strange intensity of freedom and youth.
However, all the space of my soul I keep
like a ballroom with no ball.
. . . If someone shouted in me . . .
it would echo.

Patricia Evans


Details | Free verse | |

I am Free to:

I am free to: Love, 
                  
                       Hope, 
                    
                          Endure, 
                    
                      Sing, 
                 
                        Dance,

                      Cry,

                         Laugh,

                     Grow,

                         Give up,

                     Never stop untill I achivemy goal's,

                                 Live life,
                      
                        Hate! 

               Have the will not to hate,

                 Never give up,

                            Go down the wrong path,

                  To choose the right one,

                        To worship you, Lord!



Details | Rhyme | |

lie to me

tell me now,
you are mine,
love is good,
life is fine,
lie to me,
and stay tonight,
make me feel, 
wrong is right,
tell me how,
we will end,
together forever,
love can't bend,
lie to me,
hold me tight,
lie to me,
and love me tonight.

@};~


Details | Rhyme | |

Dry Tears

I can’t cry
Tears won’t fall
Dried up forever
A built up wall

You can’t hurt me
I’m too numb to feel
The lash of your sting
This time it’s real

I’ve lost the ambition
And drive to do right
I’ve lost the admiration
And the will to fight

I can’t cry
My tears have disappeared
I can’t give you back
What you stole over the years

© Stacy Lynn Stiles


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Gone

As the tears fall down from my face,
I think about that magical place.
You took me there when I was young,
but that was before the pain begun.
You walked me down the road of life,
preparing me to be a mother and a wife.
You would hold my hand and say have no fear,
mommy's not going anywhere, I'll always be here.
But that was wrong and so were you,
you left me mom, what am I to do?
I've been told life goes on,
but it can't be, because you're still gone.
I pray at night to see you in my dreams,
but you're never there, just terror and screams.
How could this happen, how could this be?
The woman I love so dearly up and left me.
I go to the grave every afternoon,
I sang our favorite song, it was a nice little tune.
But since your gone I've changed some things,
about marriage and babies and diamond rings.
Those things are not important to me now,
I ask myself, how did this happen, when and how?
You let yourself go to that place in the sky,
but it happened so sudden mom, please tell me why?
You left me a note by your bed,
you wrote moments before you ended up dead.
Please tell me why you took your own life,
you were a such loving mother and a dear wife.
You didn't write much, just a few lines,
to tell me you love me, and it would be better in time.
But now that your gone, it's not better at all,
I just lay in my bed, I scream and I bawl.
To know what you done, it's too hard to bare,
I stand at your grave with a cold desperate stare.
You were a daughter, a loving mother, and a dear wife,
Why did you do it mom, why did you use that knife?
I wonder everyday, it's all I think about,
There's only one thing it could be, without a doubt.
You went to a dark place, filled with murder and thugs,
I know why I lost you mom, you could no longer fight the drugs.
You could have reached out and told someone before,
now it's too late, death has already knocked and opened your door. 
I'm sorry, so sorry, I could not see,
the reason you are dead is because of me.
I wasn't there to help when you needed me most,
Now I can't see you, not an image or a ghost.
I've answered my question, I just waited too long,
I know my mistake now, but it's too late, your gone.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Lover's Suicide

She came into my life 
And seemed to end all my strife
But suddenly things started to change 
Suddenly she began to act strange.
Over and over she lied
And every time I swallowed my pride.
Every time I let her back in 
Even though I knew she was the daughter of sin.
She played me for a fool 
Using me as her tool
To get what she sought
As I stood and fought
And I tried with all my might
To win this horrible fight
To keep her standing by my side
Then she’d become my lovely bride.
But she left as soon as soon as she came
And everything became the same
As it had been once before
And how it shall be forever more.
If she could only see
What she created inside of me.
She created a darkness that will last
And overshadow both my future and past.
A darkness that’ll forever be a part 
Of my ever-longing heart.
I look to a future that I dread
With a gun pointed at my head.
Look at what love’s done to me
And try to learn from what you see
As I take my last breath
Knowing all my hopes lie in death.


Details | Rhyme | |

LOVES MY TRAGEDIES

It never takes much for me to fall in love,
but i love, love for all the reasons I hate love,
I love, love because love is what holds me through the night,
but that same love may hit me in a fight,
I love, love because love is my protection,
but that same love may hurt me from rejection,
I love, love cause no two loves are the same,
but falling in love is like continuing a game, and i just don't wanna play anymore,
I want a love that will love me and except me,
Don't try and change me,
but that is just the type of love that will never find me,
so instead of hating love, I fear love,
I fear love more then I love, love,
I have never feared expressing my love,
but I fear falling in love too deeply cause I know that is just the type of love that will 
hurt me, 
I have falling in love so many times,
it always seems like a race against  time,
love never stays with me,  it always leaves me,
it always finds a way to hurt me,
whether it's taking a boy from me, or taking away someone in my family,
loves my tragedies,
but without love leads me to sanity,
I hate the feeling of being alone because I spent my whole life alone,
 I'v done everything in my life on my own,
I don't think I deserve to be alone but I fear what love may one day do to me,
because love I know will one day hit me,
just like daddy hit mommy,
just like love hit my sister,
love wouln't let them excape and I'v seen the pain the blood and the tears,
so love has become the source of all my fears,
I never stay in love cause i feel the need to fun from love,  but this I will never tell,
I may say I love but it's not the same type of love inwhich you know of
because when I love I love deeply,
but my love for love is running swifly,
I am getting older by the year and one day I will have to live with a man,
but I will not love that man I will fear that man,  because if I love him he will grow 
mad, and he will one day hit me,
thats why I fear any guy loving me,
because loves my tragedies.


Details | Ballad | |

Just Can't Let Go

I’ve tried to forget you and what we’ve shared
I’ve tried not to believe that I really do care
But it makes my heart ache to tell myself no
There are too many reasons that I can’t let go

I remember the laughter and all of the fun that we’ve had
I think of how you’ve made me smile all the times I’ve been sad
I’m just so crazy about you and I’m letting you know
I love you too much to let you go

I want you to want me and to hold me so tight
I need you to need me and to hold me close at night
I want you to think of me wherever you are
I want you to remember my love is never far
Tell me our love will continue to grow
Please tell me that you just can’t let go

I’ll continue to love you and to treat you right
There’s no time for yelling and no reason to fight
My love is so strong it could move a mountain
That’s why my love pours out like water from a fountain
It’s so easy to love you and I just want you to know
That’s another reason I just can’t let go

Whenever I’m with you my heart begins to sing
You really do make my heart smile with all of the joy you bring
You fill me with excitement from head to toe
That’s one more reason that I just can’t let go

We need each other like the earth needs the rain
We have nothing to lose and so much to gain
You have someone to love you without causing you pain or sorrow
Someone who will love you today and still be here tomorrow
Someone who will always love you so
Someone who just can’t let go

Just give into your heart and live life on the wild side
Believe in me baby and I’ll take you on one heck of a ride
Look into my eyes and tell me what you see
A world full of love is what you will get from me
Just take a chance and don’t tell your heart no
Don’t miss out on true love, tell me you just can’t let go

This is the way that real love should be
You won’t get hurt this time, no not by me
It’s time to believe in someone you can trust
This is true love not casual lust
You can believe in my love I have eyes only for you
My heart is all yours loving, honest and true
There’s really something you should know
This heart of mine just can’t let go

The power of love is something we can’t understand
It’s rare and beautiful and can only be found with the touch of God’s hand
He brought us together for what we may not know
Let’s just hold onto what we have
We just can’t let go


Copyright © 2000  Shari E Davis



Details | Free verse | |

Elevators: 5 Horsemen

Part 1

Onion

the delicacy of friendship

I found you in the flowers
Standing tall we become one
Looking down from gangly towers
Squash, you burn, you pillage, son.

Follow me you say in tongues
Thy shallow mind reveal me tell
Whisper lies clean load the guns
I feel the burn I rot in hell

Friend folly menacing the liar
I loathe this coffin how it leaks
Dear foe you raped me set on fire
The onion peal itself and weeps

Part 2

Traitor

dear monkey boy

Older eyes eat themselves,
glance and kill the other
Unified in the dance,
they steer the musty rudder.

Pained and sweeter deeper wells,
poised buckets drunk with water.
Singled out the one that dried,
handed weights to pull him under.

Wiser times capture the mind,
death justifies dishonor.
Knife slice neat through the devil's back,
who stares blank and milks the udder.

Part 3

Tempest

patron saint

Inside this box
Goodbye tempestuous fall
My puppet of steel coiled thread
Smashed buttons and twisted dread,
Alarm these doors, and
Escape this delusive bunker bed

Stamp the spiders
Thief, vulture of the deflection
The mocking patron of the sinners
Erase this affliction
Relating inward at the reflection

Rise you fool

Part 4

Phoenix

i love you

close the grip
cinched hematic grip
drenched, clawing
seeking the sheave
becoming the counterweight

i absorb, now
extracting the heat
rise like a phoenix
away to be gone to be free
fix me! i have fixed me

i am alive and i love you

Part 5

Aye, Damager

Abolish her state of disrepair
Scattered, spattered drippy thoughts
All around this box of soused leaves
Soak, ferment in the faith of our love

I can't fix this, you know
I loathe this misunderstanding
Of what I am speaking, projecting
To me, Aye Damager, to you

This devil in me
turned and twisted
A wrecked elevator in rejection
Years locked painfully aware

...


Details | I do not know? | |

Words I Never Said

    My soul mate, my love, my friend
     We had a bond that would never end
      There was a time you belonged to only me
      But that was a long time ago
       And I foolishly set you free
      Never telling you I loved you so
      Never asking you not to go
     I always hoped there would be another time
     To once again feel your caress and your hand in mine
     But that time will never be
   The time has passed and all I have are memories
    All those words I should have said come back now to haunt me
    I never said I love you
    But know there was never anyone but you


Details | Rhyme | |

I disappear

I loose my self
in myself
and fear
often times
I disappear
not always so
as youth
as man
young the heart
i still could stand
outside gates
in every core
but weak
I hide now
close the door
peer out through
the looming night
see the man
who sits outside
empty of
his other part
hiding in
the lonely heart
I loose my self
and then I fear
you've lost a part
of me
in tears
one drop containing
each a piece
of what you thought
your love would be
I fail
I will, be lost sometimes
gone in fancies
of my crime
penance for
and from the slave
I am now, lost
in other days
I fear
too often
worry much
ten million thoughts
I can not clutch
like a fighter
seeing three
head shot punch
witch one is me
I loose myself
myself I fear
will loose you
when I disappear






 


Details | Free verse | |

Reflective Surface

Slowly, the hours drag along
As I sit in quiet contemplation
On the horizon sits the dawn
Waiting with measured patience

My thoughts revolve around you
Almost as if I were a satellite
And just like sun, you don't seem to have a clue
That your warm rays bring me to life

And just like the moon
Whose domain is the ocean
Under the command of you
Is the tide of my emotion

It's my entire being that aches
For you to just want me
You don't know how much restraint it takes
To hold it all in and conduct myself calmly
I'm almost too affected by you
But I'll never speak the words as proof
So please do not ask


Details | Light Poetry | |

If he only knew

                       I still love you but I don't know why?
                      It just get's so hard for me to say goodbye
                     Iguess it's because when it comes to love I only 
                     loved that one guy,The same one that would lie
                    and lie and the one that made me cry and cry.
                                          We been threw thick and thin 
                   the only diffrence now he don't love me like he
                    did back then.I use to talk to him everyday and night
                  these feelings I have for him are so hard to fight, I just
                   want him to hold me again and say everything will be alright.
                                          He said the way he is now is because of you
                   and I know in my heart that is true now I'm left not knowing
                 what to do,He breaks my heart everyday were apart if he only
                really knew.


Details | Free verse | |

Note to Self:

Don't cry,
It won't do any good.
Stop thinking of him,
The pain will only get worse.
Try not to remember,
You'll only hurt more.
Don't think of the way your hand fit into his perfectly,
Don't remember the way his eyes twinkled when he was happy.
Forget how he would get angry at whoever made you cry,
Forget his awesome smile, his warm hugs.
Shy away from his name,
Push him into the depths of your mind.
Move on, stop wallowing in self-pity.
It's not like you were going to be together forever.
Even if you thought you would be
Just forget all the days you spent together,
The amazing dates you had not so long ago.
Face it; he's not coming back.
Stand up straight, and walk forward.
Be brave.


Details | Couplet | |

Birth Of A Child

A woman shattered the night, with her agonizing scream
Sacrificing her might has dawned realization of a dream.

She has given me a wonderful heir, to bear my name
And left her sweet memories, for the spirits not wane.


Details | Senryu | |

Shattered Moon Beams

Pop the silver orb
Moon drops splashed upon your wrist
Goodbye on your lips...


Details | ABC | |

Good-Bye...

Now's the time to say good-bye...
And, no, I won't miss you,
And, No, I won't cry.
I've gotta move on, get outta this place,
I'm sick of your "stuff", tired of your face.
Once upon a time, our hearts were both pure,
But now, you're my nightmare,
And I'm just your whore.
Laughter and love no longer remain,
I know if I stay here you'll drive me insane,
With your goddamn attitude, your late night alibi's
All of your promises that turned into lies...
So I hesitate before I reach the door,
And take a look around once more.
You're staring at me with sadness in your eyes,
I know you too well, baby, it's just a disguise.
Now's the time to say good-bye...
And, YES, I will miss you,
And, YES, I will cry.

-jma


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost And Alone

Have you ever been so lost that you feel that you will never find your way out, That 
the whole world has moved on and left you behind. You want someone to come 
find you make things ok again but as you look as far as you can see there is 
never anyone there. You yell for help but again no one is there to hear you. You 
can run but there is no end no way out. You just stop and sit there waiting hoping 
to be found to be some were you belong be loved and cared for, The air keeps 
getting colder and the loneliness darkens you. You start asking God why? But he 
never answers, You think is he even there is he real? guess not you know that 
people in the world have it worse then you but that don't mean you pain don't 
count, It hurts the life you once knew and loved not a perfect one but it was yours 
now is gone, Will you ever find your way back, belong some were? As the night 
comes you lay there and cry yourself to sleep trying to get all the answers your 
heart needs but like you the answers are lost. As you sleep you dream of the life 
you wanted a happy one but then as you start to smile something reminds you of 
what is now gone, And you are lost all over again. Maybe Someday I will be found 
and the world will be right again.


Details | Free verse | |

The Cancer

I've watched her vanish and dietirate into withering roses.

The pain that takes over her body is spreading fast and furious,

and only weakens her!

How can she bring so much light into a room of darkend souls, with her smile,

When she has only those two weeks to remain?

Why her a mother and new bride?

She doesnt want to miss a thing in her young boys lifes.

But... she already knows how it will be and how it will come.

Six days, six days she had before the death withen her took 

one last breath, and she vanished into the atmosphere and left.


Details | Free verse | |

A Tear

The first tear falls...
It beholds a vision
Of two lovers dancing-
A soldier and his 
Perfect lady.
The following tears
Fall like raindrops
That grace her skin 
And invigorate her soul
With poetic words,
All slowly relieving her 
Of troubles that 
Weigh on her mind.
She writes these words
As the tears saturate 
The pages.
I'd love to 
Read her words or 
Catch her tears,
But I wish she would smile.


Dedicated to my best friend, 
  Amanda Straub
 ( 7/23 Happy Anniversary )


Details | Free verse | |

Hear Me Cry

Before I die
Hear me cry
Sometimes it seems
He knows my needs
At times it feels
Like this is real
Most times at night
He's out of sight
During the day
The same way
With each new lie
I die inside


Details | Lyric | |

{In The Distance I hear} A lonely Guitar

I need your kiss I need your arms, then
I need your kiss again
I want to hold you tonight, arm in arm
And keep you safe in this day of harm

I know you still have thoughts for me
Even though you wanted to be free
Now I'm down each day on bended knee
Cause these memories of you cause agony

Then off In the distance I hear a lonely guitar
Playing so softly but it's just to far
A lonely guitar echoing from a mountain top
Playing our song, Oh! I just wish it would stop

I wish you were here in my arms again
Cause my love for you is more than friends
My eyes do cry when I think of you
Oh! I just don't know what to do

I hold these memories of your touch
But the memories I hold's just not enough
I need your lips your soul your heart
Like before the day...we drifted apart

Then off In the distance I hear that lonely guitar
Playing so softly but it's just to far
A lonely guitar echoing from a mountain top
Playing our song, Oh! I just wish it would stop

A lonely guitar echoing from a mountain top
Playing our song, Oh! I wish it would stop
Oh! I wish it would stop


Details | Free verse | |

Agonizing Love

Sharp Pains in my chest
a fire started in my throat
the sting of torment inmy eyes
a weary feeling in my heart

those last few words
that horrid look
the bitter sound of your voice
is torture to my ears

a hammer to my heart
a bullet to the brain
can someone please stop him
from causing me this pain?

I promise to never do this again
if I knew that this would happen
it never would have started
I never would have loved you.

I can't hold up any longer
I'm falling out of love.
is this how heartbreak feels?
it hurts...
I'll never love again.


Details | I do not know? | |

Clinging To A Memory

A quiet stream in a secret place
I look in the water and see your face
Sitting here beside me
The way we were before you left me
You touched my hand so tenderly
And promised this was how we’d always be
And now I sit here all alone
With just a memory to cling on
Foolish one they would say 
Did you really think he would stay
He was never yours one would say
And your foolish heart drove him away
Now I sit in a world of my own
Sitting here all alone
Maybe they were right but look there in the water I see
His face smiling up at me
He has come back to me
But alas t is the last thing I see


Details | Prose Poetry | |

That Which Is Real

Oh to be just a friend
To laugh, joke and play with you
Is not something
I know how to do
Oh how I wish it were
For it’d sure eliminate
All this pain I feel
Sometimes it happens
That starting off fun
Turns into something real
And what was meant to make you laugh
Turns into tears
That seem to take
Life’s  breath away
Leaving you to feel
Like there’s so much left to say
If only this, if only that
If I only could, if you only would
So many tricks of the mind
As we try to find
Justification for holding on
To what should be freed
So we can move on
Yet we hold out hope
In each accidental hello
That tides will turn
Though they have long washed away
It’s just the way of life
And how love burns
Until we learn
The difference in what we feel
And that which is real


Details | Lyric | |

In My Eyes

Find a way to me. A way you will find. See the colors, In my eyes. Drain the grey, And the black. Bring the color, In my eyes. See flashing of blue, Flashes of green, Flashes of brown. If you search for me, Search for my eyes, There I will be found. See the rainbow inside. To think I went insane. You weren't mine. That's what would keep me sane. Dreams and flashbacks come into view. Thinking of what could we've been, Thinking of the pictures of you, Thinking of what we had, I knew I was doomed. See flashing of blue, Flashes of green, Flashes of brown. If you search for me, Search for my eyes, There I will be found. Much of darkness is in my eyes. Haven't you noticed I've been down? Showed my all the lies, Do you know in my tears, I drown? See flashing of blue, Flashes of green, Flashes of brown. If you search for me, Search for my eyes, There I will be found. See flashing of blue, Flashes of green, Flashes of brown. If you search for me, Search for my eyes, There I will be found. There I will wait, There I will cry, There I will relate, There I will die. ~ORIGINAL~ <3 Evalina Elena Eshiii E>


Details | Free verse | |

"no wait...I can explain"

A girl
Leads an eager man to a cab beyond the door of drunken rants and soaked 
sorrows.
His lucky day it seems....his lucky day.
A kiss she lends with no resistance distracts them from the headlights that 
follow in the distance.
They arrive....

A man
Once oblivious to her ways watches as they stumble.
He knows now the answer of his questions....He had hoped them different.
Vengeance rules him.
He follows....

A couple.
Fumble with keys amid  passion and desire.
The door opens and she leads to a bed secretly shared with another.
His lucky day!
"what was that sound?" 

A cigarette
Burns slowly in the corner.
A man, a weapon, a hateful heart.
She reasons.
He tries to explain.
He fires.....



Details | Free verse | |

Dream Me In Black And White

Color me pretty
The way that you see me but not
The way I see myself

Wash me pure
The way you look at me
With eyes of unconditional love
You overlook my indiscretions
Judgment you never pass
Acceptance is all you offer
You make me a better me

Dream me in black and white
Like old time photographs
Faded
Torn edges
Jagged with time
To preserve the image that you hold of me

Paint me in red
The sweet blood that I left behind
Etching my name in the grain of eternity
So as to never be forgotten

Burn me into ashes
Let me dance on the winds of tomorrow
To feel the freedom
The release from my personal hell
As I soar across the sky of time


Details | Romanticism | |

Deep regrets

 As the temperature was still ordinary,
The regional wind blows away my mind,
The roses beside my grandma's house,
Bend over the comfortable, breeze air.

Nothing seems so painful for me before,
After noticing there  wasn't even a mirage
To appease my dire thirst of your love.
You were born to satisfy my faithful soul.

But, now a soulless body I am.
Without you around my patient arm
Is analogous to be killed imperceptibly.
The more i think, the more I'm falling!

I saw the brilliant sun rising at night,
The moon and the sparkled stars at the day.
The daytime turned out to be the night-time.
My world just turned upside down now.

You can take everything away from me,
Deep regrets might be all remained after.
But know that you cannot run away
With as much love as I got for you!


Details | I do not know? | |

The Light

~The Light~

I remember the first time
 Voices in my head getting way too loud
Just a little girl unable to enjoy the world around me
I thought there was no way out
Almost took the easy way out
Then I saw something shining at the end of a long dark tunnel
It gave me hope
A reason to believe
As long as I kept my focus on

~The Light~

Thirteen and so very young
Afraid to tell a soul
About the demons in my head
I thought that I had to deal with them 
For myself by myself
Until I slipped and told a friend
Finding out she heard them sometimes too
Helped me feel a little better
It is just too bad she never had a chance to see
Brightness at the end of her tunnel
After she moved away
She just gave up 
Walking away from 

~The Light	~

I felt so bad 
Yet I managed to hide the pain
I always felt inside
Even in my darkest hours
With many attempts behind me 
I kept hoping to see

~The Light~

It is beautiful to see how a family can rescue 
Their fallen 
Just not giving up
Always feeling their unconditional love 
Knowing they were there
It all helped me walk out of that dark tunnel
Embracing

~The Light~

Now I firmly believe it is possible
For the most troubled soul
To find a way out
Without taking the easy way
With love and support
I know you can do it too
As you go through life’s journey
Wherever it may take you 
Always remember to look for and 
Embrace 

~The Light	~

By: Jean Shular


Details | Alliteration | |

sworn to secrecy

This doesn't belong to me
here you can have it back
i held it now for almost seven years
its getting heavy
you can take it anytime
i don't want to hold this anymore
why cant you take it
it doesn't fit
and it doesn't belong
it tears me apart
the struggle goes on
go ahead and cry
i can hold onto that to
just drop it in and go right through
i'm just a stop
a shoulder to need
and you can go on lifting away free
i'm slowly falling
i'm tipping from side to side
i'm not quite stable
but i'm only here for the ride
i'm not going to take charge
i'm not going to sit
and stare out my window of regret
my window is clear
clear as glass
and gets bigger with everyday we pass
its making me sad
tears run down my eyes
 i cant let it go
that's no surprise
i tell you what i tell you
and hear what i hear
but what about everything inside
everything i fear
well wait
i got that to
right beside the picture of me and you
i know this is crazy
and i know i am to
but what about my secrecy
i have to follow through


Details | Free verse | |

-Bittersweet-

I was naive to believe you'd always love me
Living in my dreams until you stabbed me with reality
Your dagger's still lodged in my heart
Every now and again, for your amusement
your words twist it ever so slowly
Tear's of blood trickle down my breast
Pain is unbearable, leaving me immobile and screwed
Turning my mind bitter and mean
You were nothing but a dream
A fantasy that I thought I could hold onto
For a split second, I let emotions take over
Spinning me in every direction
Should of awoken before my life had no meaning
With no one to love me, and no one that cared
We both know now I'll never be what you need.


Details | I do not know? | |

THE LIES I SAID. . . .

The lies i said,
i can never take it back,
a lie,is a lie,
as a matter of fact,
still stabbing my heart,
with the feeling of guilt,
so strong in me,
its built,
one lie causes an erupter,
anotherlie,
 causes a disaster,
why lies are dominating my life?
all i want,
is to ba your wife,
its better for me to die,
than to you i lie,
its killing me inside,
please tell me,
tell me why. . . . . . .


Details | I do not know? | |

If sadness ruled the world

I f sadness ruled,
The world would be bare,
And none would wear a happy face.
Crying would be everywhere.
Hateful faces,
eyes pleading to be saved from thier eternal damnation,
no Jovial places
And when somone was happy they died.
Love would not exist
This is because the people would be happy
and you know what,everyone would love oly themselves.
Death would bring the ruler joy
Birth would send in to a tirade
And lovers running off to happiness
Would be caught and worked to the bone.
Narcissitic people would be the richer and that would make them all the sadder,
Their children would got to school and learn about times of despair.
that would shove the happiness down their throats.
so if one is always sad and never glad 
they would be favored in king sadnesses eyes 
So why not go and live in this hate filled kingdom,
With none to love but your sadness and yourself.


Details | Rhyme | |

Just Reach

just reach your hand out to the sky
pull your loved ones back to your side

lets get to say one more goodbye
for we never wanted them to go away and die

as now the days and nights lay 
in such sweet disguise

so let us once again our lord
stare into their illumating eyes

as we reach out for them 
in your broad horizon sky

and get to hold and kiss them
even if their not by our sides

for if this is however feels when we die
then I'd like to be that angel in that sky

so I can just reach out right back
and wipe their tears too from their eyes



Tribute To Our Loved Ones
On The Other Side
May You All RIP


Details | Rhyme | |

Drowning

Keep me going 
Hold me tall 
My bodies flowing 
Please don't let me fall
Your burden lays on me 
You weigh me down
Cant you see 
I am about to drown
I hurt inside 
I am overcome with emotion
So hard i have tried 
Now i drown in your ocean


Details | Verse | |

His Wife

In her cold tomb her spirit lingers,
It was his ring she wore upon her third finger.
A tainted body, so meek, so frail,
Once golden, now so pale,
With long hair and a painted face,
He could still smell her perfume,
But only a trace...
With baby's breath and a single faded rose,
He valued his wife more than diamonds,
To him she was more precious than gold.
Her life wasn't measured by the number of breaths she 
would take,
But by the moments when she took his breath away.
Such an untimely death, as he heard the doves lonely song,
He sat there wondering how life could go on.
Here comes the new dawn,
The sun would still shine.
He would remember her beauty,
Until the end on time.


Details | Free verse | |

Losing You

Liquid tears
fallen rain
down my face
emotional droplets
caressing skin
bittersweet hearts
cracked in half
drowning passions
in a sea of blue
floating away
stranded feelings
oceans streaming
soaking sand
dissolving dreams
crushing hope
into pieces
of losing you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Consummated

I’m not clever and you’re naïve.
Choices weighed, decisions made,
You can’t fix things if you leave.

It was real but will never again be.
Promises told, futures sold,
You lost your right to call me.

Years of stories and coffee dates
Lattes wasted, love tasted,
Sharing in the demon’s fates.

You picked a side and drew your line.
Lost salvation, no revelation,
Eternally chained to her shrine.


                         I hope you find what you're looking for.


Details | Rhyme | |

dreams of love

wings so light,
broken now,
hearts will bend,
love will bow,
til it breaks,
along with  me,
you are lost,
as love can be,
so we cry,
for the past,
and the joy,
that wouldn't last,
love is a lie,
thats what i say,
prove me wrong,
find a way,
if you can,
make me see,
what my own,
heart can be,
because i feel,
hollow and cold,
let the heat,
of flame take hold,
and bring out,
warmth in me,
heat that might,
set me free,
chilling stare,
calls me out,
i must fight,
back my doubt,
it's okay,
to let it go,
when the pain,
is all you know,
let me fall,
in waters deep,
mind is numb,
and i'm asleep,
now i dream,
of colors bright,
i will wish,
for love tonight.

spelling issues and butterflies. @};~


Details | Romanticism | |

Miss You Most

My heart cries out for your tender touch,
It goes with out saying I miss you so much.
Haven't seen you so long it's killing me,
Where ever you are I want to be.
I think of you each passing minute,
My life seems empty without you in it.
Wish you were here to hold you close,
You might miss me but I miss you most.


Details | I do not know? | |

Undoubted Deception

Now my doubts are clear
The thing i fear have arrived
Though my sadness is contented in a silent tear
I just wonder how i might survive

Now that my heart feels pain
And mixed emotions i tried to contain
The solution to this seems so faint
What should i do when i meet split lanes?

I am afraid to make any decisions
Nor would i want to believe my perception
Am i going to face any deception?
That is my heart frequent question

I, suddenly feel so small
Hiding myself under my veil
I ignore my heart frequent calls 
I get love to no avail

I want to give him a chance
But it seems that it will lead to deception
He won't realize it until everything is done
He won't realize that this girl is one in a million

Let it be what it has to be
Though i know my heart needs to be free
I am hurt by the future i am supposed to see
I regretted ignoring my heart recent pleas....


Details | I do not know? | |

-Thinking of You-

Lost in the pitch black memories of my mind
With no light shining through
My soul aches
Thinking of you.
I think about the places we were
Middle of the days by the interstate
Late nights on top of the hill
Making love like it was our first time.
Our first time, foot of my bed
Hearts beating out of control
Me telling you "Make sure this is what you want."
And you slipping right in, No hesitation.
I close my eyes, no more smiles to share
Hugs and kisses are gone
Your memory is so dark, allowing no light to shine through
Man does it hurt......Thinking of you.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Sitting On the Dock With Rene

I left my home, it  wasn't  so gorgeous,
but I knew I could no longer stay
I had nothing to live for,
seemed like only sadness would come my way,
headed for any deep water bay,
sitten' on the edge of sadness,...
wasted by time.....time...

on the bay of grief and sadness
I sat and wondered aloud....
how can I feel so lonely....
even in the midst of a crowd?

sittin' on the dock of sadness bay
wearing my ......crow....crown.....

I was royal fodder for sorrow,
looked like just sh_t would be comin' to me
I wanted so much to hold him,
but somehow   fate would not let that be.....

so I'm sitten' on the fringe of cryin'....
every day.....ay, ay, ay, ay...

I'd whistle if I could...
and if it'd bring him to me
for just one more day...
but my throat is simply too.
clogged with tears
what can I say?

I sit on the riverbanks
of mighty river styx
the river I've longed to cross
so I could hold him once more...
but sadness has stranded me
here, on this lonely shore...

for Rene, my sister in sorrow,
among the millions of us in
the dark seas of grief....


Details | Free verse | |

Wind for my sails

Waking up next to you,
holding your hand,
touching your cheek,
seeing your smile,
all of these are
wind for my sails.

When we part
only memories
or calls or texts
are able to create any
wind for my sails.

I know God
gives strength
to those who ask
and I have, but,
I still look to you for
wind for my sails.

Why do I, I don't know,
He wants me to look
to Him alone for help
and I'm trying to, but,
our soul ships
are still tethered
and provide each other
wind for our sails...

I pray He allows us
to sail in the same waters
for some time to come,
His Will be done.

10/07/12


Details | Free verse | |

If He Only Knew

She thinks about him constantly
Sometimes, more than she wants to
Her thoughts get carried away
A life that only exists in her dreams
Memories of times they once shared
Days when they talked for hours on end
Through good times and bad
She longs for those times again
Distance has made life difficult
They both have tried to move on
He seems to have found someone new
But for her, no one compares
Her heart aches when hope fails
Times passes without a word
The days seem longer now
Sometimes, she can’t even sleep
She doesn’t understand 
Where is this man she once knew?
She fell in love with him long ago
Their fate seems twisted by distance
Each day brings renewed hope
Her heart still open to love
Hoping her pain will lessen
Destiny still in her dreams
If only he knew

Copyright © 2006   Shari E Davis


Details | Rhyme | |

Come Back

I sit here waiting, watching,
Wondering when you'll come back,
Wondering what I did wrong,
and what is it that I lack?

Was it something I had done,
That made you go away?
Was it something I did?
What did I say?

I sit here loving every memory,
And everything you gave to me.
Your words, your love, your touch,
I loved you so much.

Now your gone,
Where? I cannot see.
I sit here waiting, watching,
For when you come back to me.


Details | Ballad | |

What Is There To Us

What is there to a word,
If its empty, all alone?
What is there to a poem,
If its angry, and never shown?
What is there to a name,
If its face just doesn't care?
What is there to a fight,
If a solution is never shared?
What is there to a night ,
If its wasted, spent apart?
What is there to a day,
If it starts with broken hearts?
What is there to the ocean,
If it stops coming back to shore?
And what is there to a Soulmate,
If they don't love you anymore?


Details | Free verse | |

tainted

tainted
the way you see me
the way I believe 
me
to be

never sure
in this swirling
confusion
you call
love
and I call
pity

the way you
care
for me..
take 
care 
of me

giving 
you..
up for
me and
i will 
always
be 
tainted

and you
love..
to see me 
cry
real tears
not the
fake 
ones on our
wedding
day
tears
but the ones
tinted
blue
out of 
saddened 
despair

for you it’s
all the
proof
you 
need…

that I am
still
tainted


Details | Free verse | |

What they see

I wonder what they see...
When they look down at me...
I wonder do they know I feel...
That my emptiness is real.

I wonder if when I die...
Will the tears be real that they cry..?
I wonder if they know I cared...
I trampled my own heart better they faired.

I wonder if they knew the beatings 
were so they would have a dad...
Or that I loved them even when I got mad...
I wonder if they know I prayed...
As lifelessly my body laid.

I wonder if they will listen as the doctors say...
We had to keep her confidentiality to her dyeing day...
I wonder if they know I lived for them out of love...
I wonder if they'll realize I see those that live with god above...
He holds my hand when seizures come and take hold...
Afraid to die knowing to them, they felt I was oh so cold.


Details | Free verse | |

Artificial Love Song

I wrote a pretty love song
filled with lullabies
and starry eyes
and fingers intertwined.

Drunk with love
and forgetting my name
nothings the same
and my hearts all aflutter.

Memories of sleepless nights
soft pink lips
and fingertips
cause me to lose my place

Your hand on my cheek
lips on necks
passionate sex
and embraces so dear

Such a pretty love song
filled with memories
and sweetest dreams
If only it were real.


Details | Rhyme | |

You Are

Your are
  That constant little shiver
  runnning down my spine
  The reason I get flustered 
  and I'm never there on time.
You Are
  The reason I break down
  and my lonely heart feels blue
  When I run into a stranger
  who looks and smells like you.
You are
  Why every mumbled ' I love you '
  will never be the same
  Why I get happy and deppressed
  when I'm walking in the rain.
You are
  The dream that still haunts me
  every single night.
  And why i'm still not sure
  if i'll ever be alright.
You are
  The reason I can't breathe
  and the reason I get sad,
  and the reason I still cry.
  Your the one i'll never have.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Defense

I have a secret, I cannot let you know.
I’m sorry I lied; I DON’T want you to go.
Those cruel words, were not how I feel,
just a defense, to forget what was real.

Portraying I’m strong, with a will to thrive,
yet without you I’m lost, I don’t feel alive.
Words hurt worse, than punches thrown.
I’m out of control, in this viscous cyclone.

So many times, you let me off the hook,
for my malicious outbursts and nasty looks.
I’ve used my disease as an excuse to abuse.
Flying amidst this mania, recourse I refuse.

The patience you bear, is reflective enough,
as is your wisdom, still my heart is so rough.
I want to open up and bear my entire soul,
I’m afraid all you’ll see is a shallow, empty hole.

I know it was never you that gave up on us,
it was this woman you married, me in disgust.
If I could repair my mind and fix the wrongs,
I’d say you’re at home, where you belong.

But we both know the truth, I’m a lost cause.
I prey on your weaknesses and all your flaws.
I’ll take full responsibility for all that I am…….
And remember our love, was my biggest sham….


Details | Free verse | |

game over

Heavier still, the flower wilts. 
Losing petals faster and faster.
The sweet smell has turned putrid.
Remember not the last dying breath.
Rather, remember the first one.
Gasping for air with new lungs.
When reading this, read deep.
Peer between the lines and letters.
See what is truly there, hidden inside.
The truth within the lies.
The light within the dark.
The sadness within the smiles.
It is all a pastime. It is all a game.
A game you shall lose.


Details | Bio | |

Explanation Long Overdue

I know it matters little, 
At this time, I am sure,
But I've always felt,
I owed you,
A reason why,
We did not endure...

As I approach,
The final destination,
I've unfinished chores,
I must amend,
And I guess
It's up to each
Of us to tend...

It may sound insane,
In fact, I think it is...
I was feeling too much in love,
Something had to give...
All I'm sure of,
Is this, I do swear...
It was never a question...
Of if I did care...
All I'm sure of, that is,
Whoever followed me,
The luck was his...

I felt I was losing control,
Felt jealous and insecure,
Withdrew into a defensive caccoon,
But there's even more...

I knew I blew my chance
With the most beautiful girl 
I ever had,
One who shared my love,
And to this day I'm sad...

I did what I'm good at,
I ran away and hid,
My life was forever changed,
The dumbest thing I ever did...

I know it sounds insane,
And I'm sure that this is true,
But one thing I can swear,
I never ever,
Stopped loving you.


Details | Lyric | |

Make me believe

Tell me you love me
I won't believe
It will make me happy
I won't believe

Hold me tight
I won't believe
Be soft and sweet
I won't believe

Promise me you'll care
I won't believe
I need to hear it
I won't believe

Say you'll be there for me
I won't believe
Be sweet as you can
I won't believe

If you knew how to be there
I would believe
If you kept a promise
I would believe

If you wanted to hold me
I would believe
If you showed your love to me 
I would believe


Details | I do not know? | |

???

how can you make me feel like this
this feelings so unreal 
i want to make it go away but then i want it to stay
i told you that i loved you 
and you said the same thing too
but now it only seems that i am ever o so blue 
i wish things could go back to the begining
and you tell me true
why should i be with you 
when you truely only make me blue


Details | Rhyme | |

Sacrifice

I know in time when I look back
on my almosts and what ifs
I'll hate my self for missing
an opportunity like this
 
But I'm afraid to hold you close
to let you come up near
for it seems I bring nothing but pain
to all that hold me dear
 
I want to tell you I can see you
every time I close my eyes
but I'm afraid this will fade as it has before
and I can't stand to see you cry
 
so I'll choose to just keep silent
and claim ignorance to what I feel
it'll kill me to just let you go
but I'm saving you by keeping this sealed


Details | Verse | |

Least Loved

Least loved, soonest offended,
An affair that upped and ended,
Leaving dust mites in the throat,
Tears that filled and sank the boat.

Least loved, quickest distraction,
To some fatal-type attraction,
For some floozy in a bar,
With extra wonder in her bra.

Least loved, fastest recover,
Nailing up another lover,
Sort of shallow and neurotic,
Blonde and bubblegum erotic.

Least loved, it doesn’t matter,
There’s no cod inside the batter,
No substance only style,
But at least it raised a smile.

Least loved, once more with feeling,
It may be crass and unappealing,
But I would rather feel like this
Than face reality’s abyss.

Least loved, for that is me,
She made it plain and clear to see,
Bring on a string of one night stands
To prove that I am still a man.

Least loved, the saddest fact,
This macho image just an act,
And all I am, if truth be told,
A sad and lonely human soul.

Least loved, there’s no forgiving,
For this shell that keeps on living,
Despite resolve and force of will, 
Oh God, I want and love you still.


Details | Free verse | |

Brotherly Love

Brothers shall be loved 
I am my brothers keeper 
the love of brothers is real. 
God loves the brothers,
as well as all people.
Life of love 
brings brothers together. 
Togetherness is 
authority of love 
as life is toword the
love of brotherly bliss


Details | Free verse | |

Yours

I understand
the need for redemption
when all they do is ask about me
and the phone company has never
even heard your voice.

The scar on your leg
hasn't yet faded from our accident
four years ago (you study those
scars every day, as if searching
for blame)

and you find it

buried beneath cobwebs of
false hope and deflected
stories of the life you had
and the life you have…
I can do no right
here, within the 
wish-I-was.

If I were stronger maybe
or you less so,
I’d bandage your wounds 
and rock you to sleep
but you are motion-sick
and healing just fine
without me.

How long before the
questions subside?
Will you answer in the
voice of pride, or reason?
Six years’ fallacy, or
merely unfortunate?

My legs are torn too,
but I don't wear shorts in the summertime
(I never tan anyway)
and I never said I was beautiful.


Details | Bio | |

Baby Boy

How I've lost my baby boy.
To a choir of selfish indulgence.
He's been lost inside a bowl.
A bowl of bloody senselessness.
And I watched him wave his fingers high.
Closed his eyes, and slowly died.
And I wept inside my very soul.

So will someone call an ambulance?
To bring my baby back.
For him to slowly wave at me.
For that feeling that I lack.

And my baby boy, I say again.
He's up in heaven, counting sins.
Waiting for that day and then. 
His daddy will come home. 
And sing his songs back to him.
In a tone that he won't believe.
In hopes he will forgive me.

So can someone see this reverence?
Inside my baby boy. 
That shines deep inside his eyes. 
That shines to show his joy.


Details | Rhyme | |

soul and sorrrow

silent spirit,
screaming out,
eyes flood,
shed your doubt,
washing hearts,
to keep them clean,
always hidden,
love unseen,
bluest eyes,
oh so clear,
i give in,
to what i fear,
falling now,
into the sky,
have no time,
to wonder why.
 
 
love and glitter



Details | Verse | |

Love In Anger

We feel the harbour walls decaying, albatross defecate
Dappling as leprosy upon the facia,
Before the sea, mistress of life, licks and eats the slate,
Sucking mortar into the crests of waves.
No more shanties roistered from beaten tavern doors,
Echoing akin to old wishes and dreams,
Distant and dying, starved of attention, igniting no more,
Clawing feebly to excavate graves.
If I could disinter the premature corpse of love, entombed
In cemetery dirt above chalk cliffs,
I would defibrillate it with electric tears, once exhumed,
And nurse its heart to animate.
This love in anger, this love in denial, this love self euthanized,
Should recombine of flesh and dust;
I chant silently, until stopped in my tracks by the death in your eyes,
Eclipsing both love and anger, supplanted by hate.


Details | Free verse | |

Story

Things weren't suppose to end this way
They weren't suppose to end at all
I never planned a goodbye with you
You were suppose to stay here with me
But as each day rolls on
I come to see
That that story
(The one I invented)
(The one I hoped)
Will never come to be
And even though
you're with her
And not with me
It makes me happy to know
That you and her were meant to be


Details | Rhyme | |

RAIN

rain falls from the sky
endless lonely nights go by
the darkness from the heavens above
mirrors a life missing true love
slivers of moonlight shine on a girl
who's praying to find her place in this world
beautiful stars sparkling bright
reflect on a girl whose almost lost sight
for not long from now the moon may be whole
a wonderful man may find his way to her soul
until that day comes she'll just soak in the rain
because feeling it fall takes away all her pain


Details | Free verse | |

Missing You

One day out.
Still crying to sleep,
All because I’m missing you,
And your gaze.
I’m entranced by you.
My mind whirls about your face,
And you’re not even around.
The smallest thing that reminds me of you,
Triggers the tear ducts to fill.
It hurts to look at the pictures,
Of us.
Because I know that I won’t see you for awhile.
Too long, if you ask me.
Summer has come,
And I’m still waiting for it to pass.
Can’t last,
I’m sure, much longer.
I’m missing you.
I’m missing me.
Because you hold my heart and soul in your palm.
Take care of it,
For I am missing you,
And will need to see you soon.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Alone

She out on her own
hates being all alone
today she heard her wedding song
he had done her so wrong

There's no more tears
there are still fears
what happen to tender love and care
now no one is even their

No one to hold her hand
no one to understand
she wishes on stars up above
that soon she 'll find love

Where she won't get hurt
or treated like dirt
where she won 't be blue
found love thats true


Details | ABC | |

Silently Into the Night

I hope you are with me when stars
fill the sky. Come talk to me 
darling wipe the tear from your eye.
Time's growing short now, my body is
weary. This will be much easier as long
as you're near me. Hold onto my hand,
tell me one of your stories. What's that
you say, here comes our boys? Peace fills
my body and love fills my soul,for right
at this moment my family is whole. Night
draws so close and I long for some rest
Tell everyone I'm ready, my body knows
best. Silently into the night I leave
from this place, with memories of you
and the love on your face. I'll 
be by your side even after I've gone.
Remember I'm waiting like the sun does
for dawn.



Details | Free verse | |

You Don't Know Me

I smile so no one can see my scars.
You think i'm happy.
But you don't know me.

You don't know the girl
who cries herself to sleep.
Who marred her skin
from all the stress.
Who hates herself 
for all she's done.
Who chokes back screams
when she sees you smile.

You think I handle all this well.
But you don't know 
the torture I put myself through.
I punish myself for all your lies,
but still can't hate you.

You think you can see
but you don't know me.


( 2004 )


Details | Free verse | |

Consume Me

A smile so achingly perfection 
Only hiding evil buried deep inside 
Emptiness and destruction is all you leave behind 
Your love consumes me, burns me from within 
Leaving only darkness, where there once was light. 

Now I’m just a shell, no not even that 
More a memory of the me that disappeared 
As you caressed me with your deadly touch 
Your love it consumed me, burned me from within 
Hidden scars eternal, a reminder of your deceptive evil 

How is it you still consume me when there’s nothing left to take 
Only a hollow void where there once was life 
Yet you’re an obsession I just can’t let go 
Even as I turn to leave, we know it’s not the end 
Only a matter of time, until I’m back again. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Love is Vain

Some will say, that I must be vain
To express in poems, such heartfelt pain
Of loves gone wrong, and broken hearts
Yet these words, so sad and blue
In each of us, we know are true
For all of us have loved and lost
And asked ourselves, is it worth the cost
To find true love and risk that pain
If I say yes, does that make me vain?


Details | I do not know? | |

A Saving Grace From

A saving grace from
The stormiest weather 
A sun to shine down upon
Drying up my sopping tears
To place them in a basin of
Your love


Details | Free verse | |

Love

I keep hearing that you exist. 
People say they see you-
They touch you.
They say you help them when depressed, sad and lonely.
They say you keep people together- forever.
Some even say you do not work all the time;
You have a tendency to fade away-
Only for a short time, however,
For you can return to set things back to norm.
I'm curious- love.
Do you really return?-
Do you really fade away?-
Do you really keep people together- forever?-
Do you really console the depressed, sad and lonely?-
For I am sad, lonely and depressed.
Will not you help me?
Why ignore me?-
Or forget me?
Why listen to what others have to say about me?
I tried to reach for you too-
You just could not see.
For sadness, depression and loneliness kept you blind;
Blind from watching my hands reach out to you...
You fell-
Long gone-
Never came back.
Do not worry-
I keep hearing that you exist.
Tis' true?- 
Do you really- 
Exist?


Details | I do not know? | |

Was It Really Worth It

Sitting in a hotel on a cold winters night
My eye caught a vision of someone walking by
A guy who smiled and said “Hi.”
I said “Hi” back
But little did I know 
He would be the love of my life for almost a year

As time went by
You couldn’t separate my love and I
We spent days talking and singing
We spent nights laughing and dancing
We had our happy times 
We had our sad times
But together we got through

Then the night came
I got a phone call
My love said that it just wasn’t working
It was hard but I said “OK,” and went to bed
I cried myself to sleep
But felt better in the morning

Two weeks past, I got another phone call
It was my love that left me two weeks ago
He asked if we could give it another try
I said “yes,” because I still loved him

So we spent days talking and singing
Nights laughing and dancing
It was fun while it lasted
For three months or more
He held me tight and said “I love you”
It was better then the first time

Then June came, It was my birthday
He called to say he wasn’t coming to see me
He said that we were through
So I cried till my eyes were red and sore

I read the old love letters over a thousand times or more
I thought of all the times we were together
I recalled the times he said “I love you”
But through it all we stayed friends

Then one night he came to my door
Said that he wanted to talk, said he had troubles
“Ok,” I said in a small voice
Then after a while he turned wild
He grabbed me, he hurt me
I was bruised and sore
I was scared, terrified 
I was weak and tired
For what he did to me
Was it really worth it?


Details | Free verse | |

Void

I see you in my dreams, laughing, eyes merrily dancing 
you fill my heart with love, my soul with kissed promises
But when I awake from this rainbowed dream where all the edges 
are bound with colored ribbons of hope
I find you standing at the end of my bed, eyes sunken and hollowed
a black crow, perched upon the limb of your own destruction

Your addictions gnawing away at your being are all that appear 
no light exudes from your presence, darkness has enveloped you
has stolen your future and our dreams, like a thief that 
slipped by, so quietly unseen 
all that is left are the bright images of the past, 
where we are captured in moments of suspended happiness 
They frequent every corner of my mind and visit me in 
my subconscious 
If only I could but remain in that deepest void 
you would be as you were, our future would be as it 
always should have been

I close my eyes and block out your image that has tainted my 
present reality 
choosing to dwell upon the scattered pictures and remain 
blissfully peaceful in my own ignorance
For the person that you were is forever lost to me, gone, 
swallowed whole
of us there is but an empty vacuum, a succession of days, 
until the end 


Details | I do not know? | |

A dream into a nightmare

The wound is deep,
the pain pure hell.
If I will heal 
only time will tell.
Memories to keep
of our past together.
All that I feel
will be there forever.
The sunshine that came
on the first day we met,
growing closer to each other
every night that it set.
Then out of the blue
something went wrong,
love lifted away
by a wind that was strong.
We tried to pick up the pieces
that the storm left behind,
distance growing between us
was all we could find.
We try to say it's over
but, our love is still there?
It's confusing to me,
it just doesn't seem fair.
I'm going to live my life
and try to remain in control.
I'll find the strength that is needed
for protecting my soul


Details | Tanka | |

Photographic Memory

All points meet at you~
the sky, the sun, the water.
A still photograph
holds my happiness in ink.
I pretend that you still smile.


Details | Lyric | |

Seed

To lie is like a seed being planted into the soil,
and just waiting for it’s down roots.
Every time another lie is told this seed gets water,
as the watering continues, the seed begins to grow.
And up sprouts the plant, the plant in which you the individual has given life to, for 
this seed is not a flower, is not a tree, is not a fruit to give to thee, but a weed, a 
weed of such destruction that destroys all other life surrounding it. By taking it’s 
roots, the roots of pure loving flowers, pure loving fruit and pure loving small 
trees.
Destroys them.
Strangles them.
As this weed continues to get watered it shuns them, grows taller then them, 
allows them no sun light, allows them no room to grow or to breath, so in the 
end, they parish.
And all of the truth that was planted before this has died, and the only thing left in 
your garden,
Is your pathetic life.
And this weed,
That was once a SEED. 
 


Details | Imagism | |

Once upon a time ago

I loved it when I seen you smile
It was a sight that was worthwhile
Your smile was so sweet
Whenever we would meet
 
I wondered why you were always happy to see me
I guess it was because I made you feel so free
You were in love with me for so long
I didn't know but I loved you too all along
 
I still don't understand why you never told me
Even when we were alone under your tree
You had so many chances to say it
Were you afraid of what would happen if you admit
 
I never thought you did cause you had a crush on my friend
Or did you only pretend
I was so stupid and blind
Whenever I thought of us together I thought I was going out of my mind
 
Once I told you how I felt
You said you felt the same and made my heart melt
Now you say you never really cared
Is it because I hurt you and now your scared
 
I think that it's more than just that
You say bad things about me to your friends whenever you all chat
Well you want to be that way then
Whatever boy cause this is The End


Details | Bio | |

Stupid In Love

How could I be so stupid
To fall for you, 
When you said you was falling for me which was a lie.
So stupid to care, 
When you said you'll be there
But you weren't.
So stupid to show love
When you wasn't showing any at all.
How could I be so stupid,
So stupid to think you were falling
So stupid to think you care
So stupid to think you love
So what if im called stupid,
Because im still falling,
And I still care,
And I still love you.........
So I guess im stupid inlove with you


Details | Free verse | |

If I Forget

If I forget,
Remind me of your name
As it must have slipped away.

If I forget,
Show me a photo of my face
As it surely has changed.

If I forget,
Take my hand back to that place
For I've certainly lost my way.

If I forget,
Breathe a gentle breath in my ear
If will calm my fear and rekindle the flame.

If I forget,
Bring the heart straps
That held me to you like glue.

And if I forget,
Carry the memory of us
It is lost but a treasure on a raft on the waves...

TRS, 09/13/08


Details | Free verse | |

October 13th

Wake up a little earlier; another troubled night
But the remnants of pre-birthday make-up still do their job remarkably
Smile for the camera; these pictures are keepers, so realistically modelled for
Thank yous for unthoughtful offerings; why hurt feelings after all?
A dozen friends all come along; it's not their scene but they want to please me
Can't look over there, have to be the last to go through the door
They're trying so hard, all their love gathering on my windowsill
Some cards handmade with heartfelt affection, gifts so vague and cliched, more 
roses than I could care for
And your dusty eyes still staring through them all from behind the frame
Complete the scene as my headstone

Couldn't have slept at all
Excitedly imagining what you were planning
Warm in your jacket you gave me to sleep in
Wouldn't lift or lower my foolish head
Jitters looking forward to you
Flash could've gone off but we wouldn't notice
Shroud me with your words, promises you could not keep
All the guests combined; a less than you companion
I wonder why we couldn't make it through?
And I'd never had to say goodbye 'til the day that I met you
All that I'd got for we pushed them all out
And I didn't miss them.
Didn't miss them.

Why are you still asking after me?
How do you still reach into my eyes
Before I turn away?
What happened to let us get like this and tell me
When can it end?
How is it I want it to stay?
Though there's a soft spot for you in my heart and you're
Slowly seeping out

Frozen as this face remains
Breaking when I'm forced to recall
I'm 18 and you're not here
But she passed on your message for me
Happy Birthday.
And in those obligated words it all crashes back
I'll keep all our secrets and ignore all the rest
The world we made and left to decay
Keeps me smiling for every wasted day.


Details | Free verse | |

Vengeance

Dark skis over head 
The fiery pit underneath 

When she walks into the room
All light is pushed from me

Striding up to me she opens her mouth
And from it flies the insults and curses
That turns me cold in my soul

Why do I deserve this? 
What crime did I commit?
I have given my soul 
And she retuned it in shreds

This is the last day 
For should she return 
I’ll give her a little black box
And when she opens it 
All my wounded and torn soul
That has mingled 
With hate despair and frustration 
Shall be set free
In all is godly fury

It shall all be contained in a note
That will tear out 
The very fabric of her spirit
And justice shall be done


Details | Imagism | |

dignity

across rooms gust strong winds
emptiness without formed cracks

shook narrow confines
from the darkness within

indeff,rent,rent songs
nostalalqiques dreams
attentive inhumane screams
desire to belong

to accept dignity
speak sweet
accept defeat and
smile throu tormented peace.


Details | Rhyme | |

HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON

You are a million  miles away
thinking of you I am today.

I want to write to tell you so,
although i'm sure you already know.

My body may be far away,
but my heart is what will always stay.

True love is very hard to find,
but you my dear, are one of a kind.

I've found a love so pure and  true,
loyal and honest , that is you.

I am proud to say we belong together,
no matter the distance, our love will not sever.

and when we're together again you'll see,
so happy, together, forever  we'll be!


Details | Rhyme | |

Somebody To Love

I have no roof to shelter under
When the sky begins to rain
For an umbrella through the thunder
I will always hope in vain.


Details | Lanterne | |

TURMOIL

My
heart breaks
within me-
deep inside I
weep-
peace
is so
elusive
my mind cannot
sleep-
is
love so
unreal,
is it out of
reach-
who
will be
true to me
and their promise
keep-
if
I say
a prayer,
will faith take a
leap-
do
you have
an answer,
to life...fathoms'
deep.


Details | Rhyme | |

Time

In a smile it started
In a second it grew
In a minute we were light-hearted
In an hour we knew
In a day we tried
In a week it came true
In a month it died
In that moment, I lost you.


Details | Free verse | |

No words describe the pain

No words describe the pain
As tears fall you know, 
This is only the beginning!
True heartbreak lies ahead
Tears roll endlessly,
A grown man on his knees
Broken by despair.
That sad reality that your not good enough
A question you already answered!
Looking back I regret…
I regret that first look when your eyes met mine…
You had my heart more then you could ever know!
As rage brews inside, still I have no hate for you,
But only for myself! 
Knowing I couldn’t be what you needed… 
I couldn’t fill that role!
So here I sit alone
As tears roll down my check,
I have no words to describe the pain!


Details | I do not know? | |

I cry, I weep, I

I cry, I weep, I crumble
But nothing ever shows.
This lump in my throat is growing,
as the salty tears turn cold.
I cry, I weep, I wonder
How could you love me so?
The heart in my chest is breaking,
but this you'll never know.
I cry, I weep, I quiver 
As the truth slowly becomes clear.
I long for love, but turn away, 
because the end is what I fear.
I cry, I weep, I deliver
Thr truth that haunts our dreams,
But deep inside, I want to cry,
but my pride will never let me.
I cry, I weep, I fumble
To say the words, I dream to say
But can't because my love is pure
and yours changes everyday.
I cry, I weep, I ponder
On what you think of me
But don't really care, 
because no one's here
and no one realy loves me.


Details | Lyric | |

Burning One More Bridge

Tonight, I'm burning one more bridge
As I find myself, walking this lonely highway
Her eyes and her smile, now just a gray cloud
A bridge once warm, slowly fading away

Looking back in the darkness, I see
Reflections of tears, there upon her face
Her long flowing hair, disappearing in a crowd
An endless love, gone without a trace

Tonight, I'm burning one more bridge
Thought this one, would stand the test of time
Never thought, love could fall so hard
So tonight, I'm burning one more bridge

Tonight I see memories, dancing across the sky
Two bodies holding on, to loves distant star
As the sky darkens, I fall to my knees and pray
For this time, we just went a little to far

Tonight, I'm burning one more bridge
Thought this one, would stand the test of time
Never thought, love could fall so hard
So tonight, I'm burning one more bridge

Never thought, love could fall so hard
So tonight, I'm burning one more bridge


Details | Free verse | |

The Arms of a Stranger

The odor of warmth and affection,
The feeling of love and protection,
An isolated heaven of love;
I lay in his arms like an angel,
Like a white dove,

At the moment,
I am living an endless time
Of eternal happiness,
Life seems to be everlasting…
Life now, is a colored painting 
Of smiles and joy,

Words slithered between his lips,
Like tiny insects sliding on the petals
Of a bright-colored flower,
I contemplated his beauty as 
I heard his tender voice whisper,
“Thy beauty is like the azure sky.”

Perfection is what I am seeing,
His words kept on repeating
In my head;
In his arms I lived another life…
A nirvana created by his glaring eyes,

“Thy beauty is a mosaic picture on the walls of heaven,”
His words swayed like the dancing waves…
I lay there inertly,
With a river of feelings penetrating 
My soul like an addictive kiss of his,
I smiled…   

--------------------------------
My feelings suddenly shifted,
I felt tiny droplets of water condense
On my cheeks,
Were they tears?

My anguish was immense…
Sadness and grief formed
A body of confusion that mystified 
The fantasizing feelings I had felt,

Here I was,
In your arms;
My ally, the person I shared my life with…
You held me tightly trying to ease
The pain I was feeling,
The pain created by you…

The tears in my eyes created a reflection of
My sufferings,
The sufferings that tend to draw a continuous
Picture of your betraying eyes…
I cried and cried as I felt your arms
Hold me tighter,
I felt no comfort at all…

I closed my eyes trying to place myself
In “his” arms again,
The arms of the stranger 
That allayed my soul like tender music,
Like a harmony created by the soft,
Emerald leaves that danced with the wind…

I smiled again…






 
  


















Details | Lyric | |

Dead End Road

Been walking this road, with  two dead ends
Your memory keeps returning, again and again
The moon doesn't glow and the stars don't shine
And as I search for your face, I keep falling behind

I looked at my watch, seems it stopped yesterday
So I take a deep breath, and continue on my way
I stare at the darkness, and see nothing but black
As I listen for sounds, A chill crawls up my back

I've worn a hole in my shoe, a week ago today
My eyes are so tired, but  there's no where to lay
It's so dark and lonely, as I try to keep pace
For this dead end road, has taken your place

My mind starts to worry, if you'll ever return
As the dark turns to gray, your arms I still yearn
I realize were through, as I rest for awhile
For I no longer can search, or walk one more mile

I've worn a hole in my shoe, a week ago today
My eyes are so tired, but  there's no where to lay
It's so dark and lonely, as I try to keep pace
For this dead end road, has taken your place


Details | Rhyme | |

Goodbye

        
       Though I've begged and I've pleaded,
       Not wanted, but needed
       A little help, a little hope, 
       Not this endless, mindless choke
       Untraditional love at it's best
       And I fear I know the rest
       The butterflies long gone, the kisses so few
       This goodbye seems almost so long overdo
       Though it hurts, though I'm scared
       I'm missing what's so rare
       I'm really missing you
       Or the one that I knew
       We have lost and I can't try
       To finish making it all right
       
		

		
		
		
		
		
		
		
		


Details | Narrative | |

Child Prostitutes (2006)

Staring head on in the face
What is happening in each corner of this dreadful place
I don’t want to say rather me that you
I wish there was something I could do
Children for sale just isn’t right
Buts its happening day and night 


Details | I do not know? | |

Comparison

A distant voice is like a fading colour
a muted version of reality
I'm hiding from the noise, always under cover
in fear of losing gravity.

A solitary flower laden with dew
the scent hangs heavy in the air
I scan the landscape exploring the view
my eyes straining from the suns glare.

I am that solitary flower who is forever losing its colour
telling myself it will be alright
as I once again take my cover
and settle down for yet another lonely night.


Details | Verse | |

Past

Another year has gone, it just slipped away,
Without notice or warning or eulogies to say.
On purpose, I barely register its passing…only crack
A bitter smile;
A half-raised, quizzical eyebrow, maybe, laced with a brief 
Sense of a long forgotten once close friend
Giving up the ghost.

From starved tree branches the leaves tumble down,
Sheets of rain guillotine on this dirty old town.
I watch the autumn gale axing…havoc from
The frozen North.
I'm digging graves for memories, perhaps, meticulously fast,
For they really need interment
As they are the living dead.

Funny, it's the first time ever, I realise I'm getting old,
The heart misses beats and the room feels always cold.
I see the lines etch on my face…gritted warp
Of aching bones.
And try as I might to shove longing and regret back into
Their woodworm coffins,
It does not keep the pain at bay
When the past craves resurrection.


Details | Imagism | |

liquid senses

Another unwanted
passes through memories
down mundane streets 
suburbs undaunted

available liquid pass
tempted nostril senses
youth invaded stolen by
unpure pretenses

soft like shreds of life
tears of laughter
preserve treads
to a childhood lost to
hereafter 


Details | I do not know? | |

A Winters Fallen Angel

Her beautiful eyes closed forever
The angel sleeps no harm to weather

Frozen in time under glass
Her cold tears trapped in the past

The demon that brought her guards the door
Of the angels keep in the streets of the poor

Her blonde hair and wings are raised and flared
The expression on her face is calm not scared

The demon murderd her quick and painless
In his depression mad and aimless

She would have remained alive
All she had to say was hi

He adored here every movement
She ignored and made her judgement

He tried to speak and joke around
She rolled her eyes and shut him down

He grew angry and mad one night
He froze her body in a block of ice


Details | Free verse | |

Mirror, Mirror

Frustrated
Hurt 
Confused
Unsure
Unable to see who I am
Unable to see you for what you are
What you’ve become
Yet I love you
But the longer I stay
The longer my love for myself fades away
I have sacrificed
Compromised
Went against my morals 
My principles
All for a love that was never really mine
I have been battered
Bruised
Scarred by the same lips that use to say the sweetest words
The words that use to play in my ears like a soft symphony 
You can’t even see how much you’ve changed 
Back to who you always were
The man you always denied to be
How naïve of me to trust 
In you 
In us
The mask that you use to hide your true identity 
Has disappeared 
Leaving you exposed
For all eyes to see
What a Liar
Swindler
 Jerk
You really are
It’s as if I am seeing you for the first time
As satisfied as I should be for finding this out now
Before I was in deeper
I am not satisfied
I am heartbroken 
Distraught
I can’t believe I fell for the illusion
Instead of for the reality
I can’t believe my chance for a happily ever after 
Was only a mirage I created in my mind
And I can’t believe I allowed you to hurt me so deeply
I can’t believe this broken girl in the mirror ...is me


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

I believe in love a little less each day

Life can get pretty hard when relationships go astray.
I believe in love a little less each day.
Marriages used to last fifty years, now they last fifty weeks.
Couples keep breaking up even though true love is what everybody seeks.

I've gotten a lot of rejections because I don't have much money.
Everything gets dark when I begin to think it's sunny.
I have pain and anger because life goes this way.
I believe in love a little less each day.


Details | Free verse | |

Your Death - Dedicated to my Husband

As I see you take your last breath
I cry and scream in agony
For I have lost my best friend and
The only man that ever truly loved me
You knew all my secrets
You knew all my faults
And loved me in spite of them

Now I feel bitter regret
Because I have missed so
Much time with you
And now it is too late
I have lost you forever

You were the only one 
Who was ever true to me
You would have ripped
Out your heart if I needed it
Though abuse and betrayal
Found me because of you
I always knew how much
That you loved me

Despite the many faces 
That you have encountered
During your lifetime
I was the only woman
That you ever loved 
Though I was full of
Many imperfections 
You saw me as 
The perfect woman
In every way
The devotion you have
Shown me surpasses
That of all of the romantic
Tales that have ever been told

Now all I can do is
Cherish your memory
Like I should have done
When you were alive
Your passing does not
Only mean the ending 
Of your earthly existence
It is the death to the
Beating of my heart
For I cannot live
Without my soul mate



Details | ABC | |

A Thin Line

I love you; I hate you
Jealousy is not the cause
Killing you wouldn’t justify
Lustfully breaking the laws

The third line is not an option


Details | Ballad | |

COLD TOMBSTONE

I came here with flowers
held gently to my sobbing chest,
to bring them to my dearest;
I have departed from the living,
to come face to face with my ending...

I lay my flowers at this cold tombstone...
engraved with a name too sweet,
and yet so painful to call it out;
the heat in my throbbing veins
could warm it up with a loving wish before dawn;
but who can resurrect someone from death?

This morning is dazzled by an intense sun,
carnations, flags and tombstones
perfectly blend as the swaying pines 
offer their breeze and soothing shade towards noon;
why are the noisy larks hiding,
and melancholically sing?

I rushed here to release these tears
and let them roll from these eyes,
like raindrops falling on this very quiet place:
where tranquility is as eternal as Paradise...

I lay my flowers at this cold tombstone,
feeling a presence so known;
others before me have knelt and cried, 
not to forget whom they lost and dearly loved...



Details | Verse | |

Believe in me

I saw your tears,
I knew something was wrong,
I knew with my mother,
My son didn't belong.
I saw the pain that you held 
deep inside.
I never wanted to leave you,
or ever have to say goodbye.
I chose for you to sleep safe in a bed,
instead of our car,
making sure you were fed,
was most important by far.
I wish I could take all the tears and
sadness away,
to correct all the wrongs and the mistakes that I made.
All you wanted was my approval, my affection and my love,
Yes, I know saying the words, just wasn't enough.
If I could go back in time          
I would have put up a bigger fight 
I would change it all today, 
to make your life a little more kind.
I would be to you all, what a mother should be,
I love you with all of my heart,
I just wish you could see,
All I ever wanted was for my children to believe in me.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Love That Can Never Be

                    You stand before me proud and free
	At first I thought you were a fantasy.
	You're smile, your touch so real to me
	I need to know what you want of me.
	I try to understand
	Why you have come to this strange new land
	So out of place in this land today
	Yet I want you so to stay
	I feel you are a part of me
	I feel I need you here and you need me
	I hope and pray I can find a way
	To make you stay here in present day
	My brave warrior proud and free
	Take my hand and stay with me
	Together a whole new world we will see
	Let me give my heart and soul to thee
	But alas you are just a fantasy
	And a love that can never be


Details | I do not know? | |

A Sisters Plea for Acceptance

I'm not sure what you think of me
I'm not sure that you know
You tried to make me out to be
In your perfect little row

I'm not the type of person
who conforms with all the rest
Rest assure that when I'm done
My life will be proven blessed

Do you care to understand
The things that I enjoy?
Or would you rather reprimand
All the fun that I employ

I cannot make you love me
I do not have that power
though I long to have you see
I am an amazing flower

I thrive in the hottest sunlight
I soar in the coldest snow
In the rain I take to flight
In the wind I continue to glow

My lifes not on a timeline
I have no stoneset plans
But your blood is as mine
So please love me for who I am.


Details | Rhyme | |

ADDICTED

Oh how i wish it weren't true, the fact that I am so addicted to you.
Loving you only makes me blue, but I still feel the need to protect you.
I'm addicted to you! When your not near i'm full of fear,
scared that someone will make you shed a tear and I won't be there.
I tried and tried to stay away, but in result I just cried, 
I yerned for you to be by my side. Why?, because i'm addicted to you!
It's hard for me to mind my buisness when it comes to you
you are all i've grown to know, your heart is my home.
Why?, because i'm addicted! I need my space but it has to be at my own pace
and in order to do that I have to go on without seeing your face.
I'm addicted and going through withdrawl and a quick fix would be your phone 
call.
Why?, because i'm addicted! Out of sight and out of mind,peace is what I hope to 
find.
To fully recover I need to stay away but guess what? I'm addicted
so I can't believe a word I say. All I can do is hope for that day
that i'll awake and not think of you.I can't stay away no matter how hard I try,
I just can't seem to say goodbye and although you told me a lie for you I would 
willingly die,WHY?, because i'm ADDICTED.


Details | Lyric | |

ONLY IN DREAMS

I had the strangest feeling
Wanting to live in dreams
But its only there I could have her
The lady I love so true
It makes me feel so blue
That I could have her only in my dreams

And when the night has ended 
And the day has began
I turn to a sad and lonely man
Knowing she is out of my reach
And the distance can’t be breached 
Except only in my dreams

She must know how I am feeling
'Cause she sends me reeling
 Every time she says
You’re wasting your life away
Trying to live in dreams
Wake up from your dreams

In the real world I look cool
I got everyone fooled
But nothing is as it seems
Cause I only want to live in dreams
To love her in my dreams
To stay living in dreams

Strange as it may seem
That is what  all the world means to me
To be living in dreams
Nothing better that life can bring
Than what I get in dreams
The lady who is my queen woman of my dreams

I really need a break
I’ll put everything at stake
You can take my life away
If it’s the price I have to pay
For wanting to live in dreams
With the lady of my dream

For ATP


Details | I do not know? | |

weakness

Weakness takes me apart like a blaze
Flames surround me as I lay
My weakness gives in
To the devil’s den

So many things I refuse to say
Day after day
Moments pass by like love
Float into the sky above

Weakness engulfs my rage
As I look and see an old mage
Waving his staff to the heavens
Counting by sevens

7,14,21,28
Reminds me of my first date
35,42,49,56
Reminds me of the evil’s den

Every word that comes out
Seems to have no sound
I scream at the top of my lungs
As rays hit my skin from the sun

Burning me from outside in
Turning my flesh red within
Demons sing about
About all of their doubt

As another day arrives
The 7th dies
Enrage with murderous thoughts
As another bad lung coughs 

Our weakness surrounds us all 
With a scary wall that stands so tall
No way out I say
As I wave away another day 


Details | Free verse | |

I hate to know how you are, Just remember what you did to me

I can see right through you, don't you know? ha!! 
You don't know me, but I know you, isn't that funny?

Can't you see what you put me through? 

I am very amused by this you see, don't ask why
I have no answer to reply.

But in the end it will all turn out fine.

Because I can read your mind.

awhh and I sieh, 

You don't remember why.

But here I am waiting for you to remember when and why.


Details | Free verse | |

Finish Last

A hatred toward myself
a longing for the feeling of the cold hearted
no emotion 
no cares
no heartbreak
the unbelievable becomes real
a rejection burning so deep!
another night of these deadly thoughts
realizing the sad truth,
nothing I do can ever be enough
the cliché stands true…
Nice Guys finish last!


Details | Free verse | |

My Love After Death

You can call my name but you wont hear me answer
At least no in this physical world
You know, my love, that I never wanted to be
Separated from you
What I would do to take everything back
What I would do to stop you from crying
You need to go on with your life
And just leave me as just a memory

Though I may be dead now, I still live
I am still alive within you
And know one thing now
I love you and will always as I eternally sleep

Hold my hand, isn’t it cold?
Well know that on the inside it is warm
To see you happy is a dream that I still hold onto
From this day forward
What I would do to hear your voice again
What I would do to express my love for you
But since I love you so much
I want you to be happy and move on

Though I may be dead now, I still live
I’ll be alive in spirit, honey
But I haven’t left without
Leaving you a gift as well as my will

What I would do to see you again
What I would do to say, “I love you” again
But you needn’t focus on me
For I’m still with you, just now a part of you

Though I may be dead now, I still live
You shall see a part of me again soon
Just 9 months from now
You will see some on me with a part of you
A new creation because of my love for you…


Details | Romanticism | |

Gun In the Closet

Gun in the closet,
One in the drawer,
One under the pillow,
Does he need any more?

Scotch on the bar,
Jealousy on the mind
Can take you too far...
Your fate can be signed...

A loud bang,
A jolt,
A puff of smoke,
Gone is Beauty
In one sad stroke...

The Devil helped
Pull the trigger,
Why?
Cause he loves
To make Good People die...

There is no way
I could live with this...
I'll hunt him down
If the law is remiss...

I won't need,
a gun or a knife
For me to take
this bastard's life

He's made us pay
The ultimate price
For you, your life,
To him, just a wife...

To me he killed
Both Love and Hope
And when I find him
Should he grope
For his gun
He will find
My hand has shoved
His nose 
Into his mind...

I'll break it first
for extra pain,
My vengeance will
Never be sated
For my prayer of hope
Is now in vain.




Details | Lyric | |

Mirror with a Gun

Cast attention on the dreams we have caught
They’re nothing of our own
Filtering our hearts right through the dark
Until we give in to the unknown

Casting lights upon the pointless death
In the wars that we’ve become
It’s so sad to see what will really die
The part we kill because we run

Cast attention on the lies we create
Manifesting every fear
Will these walls protect me from the pain?
Will the static drive the tears?

Casting lights upon the obvious truth
That we can’t remember love
Because every notion that we think is right
Was not handed from above

Cast our questions into timeless stone
It’s time to walk away
Step again into the lonely dark
It’s time to feed the pain

Casting spells that only weave an end
This is what we’ve become
Friendly faces that will kill again
We’re just a mirror with a gun


Details | Lyric | |

Heartbroken

                        He has the other half   
                        And wont give it back   
                        What am I suppose to  
                        Do when I still Love
                                     You!
                       I thought I was over you
                      I thought you we're gone ! 
                     It's crazy how that I can't 
                    Get you out of my system &
                            Out of my heart
                    I want to let you go and be
                                      Free  
                    Be with her and not me !!! 
                    But it's harder than you think 
                    When the guy that  broke your
                                      Heart!!!
                     Was your very first kiss and
                               EVERYTHING
                                                       


Details | Lyric | |

I Found Out Today

I found out today you had never been true
You were with someone else when I was seeing you.
You took my love, my heart, my trust
And all it meant to you was lust.

I found out today that you gave her a ring
While talking with me about the same thing
And pledged your vows and made her your wife
And swore to stay with her the rest of your life.

Was it just a race?  Was it just a game?
Did either of us matter or were we just the same?
Did you really care which one of us said yes first?
Here I thought when you left me you had done your worst.

I found out today the ink was not yet dry
On the decree from your previous lie.
I was just one of many, a face in your crowd
Being duped by you does not make me proud.

I found out today I will get over you
I will hold my head high, I will get through
You have made me a skeptic, you have opened my eyes
I will not so easily fall for men's lies.

One day if I chance to see you on the street
If our paths should cross, if our eyes should meet
I'll forget the deceptions, the lies you would say
I'll remember the truth that I found out today.




Details | Bio | |

If It Was Really Meant to Be

You say you put your trust in me
Why am I not treated that way?
you act as if Im cheating
when you are the one that’s deceiving
of a mischievous heart

When I turn my back 
you go off and cheat
if I was to do you the same
How would you feel?
you might not even care
If It Was Really Meant to Be

Why am I treated the way I am?
you sat and talked to me for hours
more time I just a waist in my lifetime
wondering will true love ever finds’ me
if it doesn’t, I’m not alone
If It Was Really Meant to Be

As I can see with my eyes
you let others walk in between us
let them take what we have
love is wrong,
love is cheat,
all that is left
Can my feelings take the heat?
If It Was Really Meant to Be


Details | Ballad | |

Bruise Me

You always try
to break me down
you always try to knock me out
damage me with just your words
not physical but it still hurts
and all you do is make it worse.

You bruise me
Cut me with your tounge
Brutalize me, cut and binding
as my blood pours from the scars.
You bruise me
and it's really nothing more.

Berate me
go on hate me
it's something you love to do
yell at me, because now i see
there's nothing left for me with
you.
Your eyes so cold, words are old
nothing else that you can say
times running out, it's over now
and your the one who bruised
it away.

You bruised me
Cut me with your silver tounge
Brutalize me, cut and binding
As my blood pours from the scars
You bruised me
And really nothing more.


Details | I do not know? | |

***Love is a Terrible Thing to Waste

There’s so much inside of me
That I wish I could say
Yet I keep it to myself
It’s easier that way

I’ve learned to love carefully 
You won’t find me off-guard
I seldom allow anyone in
The effort’s just too hard

With everything I’ve been through
I’ve slowly built a wall
I tend to stay in my comfort zone
That way I cannot fall

I’ve made so many excuses
It isn’t worth the fight
So I simply shut people out
Though I know it isn’t right

I know that I’ll probably never
Know what love’s all about
So instead of going through the pain
I take the easy way out

One day I’ll wake up and have
Someone who will be there
But the way I’m feeling now
I just can’t make myself care

If I keep pushing you away
I’ll find myself alone
I can handle what life throws at me 
A lot better on my own

I can’t stand the pain
That’s left every time you go
So I hold in all I’m feeling
I never let it show

I’ve learned from every heartache
From ever time I’ve cried
I’ve learned it’s best to play it safe
And just keep it all inside

A love is a terrible thing to waste
A heart’s a terrible thing to break
It seems you keep me hanging on
To see how much that I can take


Details | I do not know? | |

In look for you-


                             I find myself walking around in a daze
                        It's hard to see with all this cloudy haze.
                             I look for clearear skies within my own
                        mind, but without you here, there so hard
                        to find

                             I look for you in my nights and dream
                        of you through my days. 
                            I miss your laughing eyes and your
                        paralyzing gaze.

                           People stand around me, so I know
                        Im not alone, but somehow I feel lost
                        and my destination is unknown. If you
                        where here to guide me, I know I could
                        make it through.
                           I know I wouldn't be lost any more if I
                        could only find you.


                                                                        Searching-


Details | Rhyme | |

Caught Me Off Guard

Somewhere you are sitting
Unaware of how I feel
Then again maybe you know
How I wish that you'd reveal
Every now and then
I like to close my eyes
Pretend that you're with me
The dreams I fantasize
Honestly I wish you knew
The things inside my heart
Everytime I think of you
I wish we weren't apart
Never did I think
That I would fall for you so hard
Can't control the way I feel
It all caught me off guard!


Details | Verse | |

Pretend

When I feel your warm embrace,
You won't see the tears rolling down my face,
Now you seem so far away,
Dont worry now, I wont ask you to stay.

When you left me,I felt so empty and cold,
You couldn't know how bad that felt,
Your happy now, or so I'm told,
I loved you more than life it self.

You told me you would be there,
All the way to the end,
You said you would always love me, 
But you words were just pretend.

I thought if you really loved me,
you would be right here with me,
But you had other things to do,
You had other places to be.

You were my best friend, you were my heart,
I fell in love at the beginning, right from the start.
Now all alone frightened and scared,
Did you ever love me? Did you ever really care?


Details | I do not know? | |

Hopeless and Filled With Heartache

Tell me why doe’s the wind blow,
When it seems that almost anything can over power this boat,
The waves rise slowly and surely a storm is on its way,
A day of innocence equating beauty,
For tomorrow may fall,
And today is already gone,
I've decided that tonight is the night,
That I set love aside,
This whole time we're provoking each other in a blinding violence,
The ship rocked and I plummeted into the sea,
And you dove after me,
But now you know that I’m cold,
The mast snaps and the ship floods,
We wash up on a shore and you seek us shelter,
Crying out my name you try to resuscitate me, 
Keep your hands on my chest and wait for a beat,
I'll keep your trust in my arms and pain in my feet
We will all fall in the end.
As the time to rise approaches
No one will take responsibility
So tell me why does the wind blow?


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In this poem i give credit to 4 bands 
for assisting me with the words 
I could not find.

1.Our Last Night
2.As I Lay Dying
3.Dance Gavin Dance
4.As Blood Runs Black

I Hope you enjoyed it


Details | I do not know? | |

Borderline Truth

All those lies,
The creaking on the stairs
Glazed fixed eyes
Upon scuff marked boots
My abrupt croak,
Droned-out by sudden humming
From the refrigerator
My voice falls,
Pitched to the floor
Like suspended in time
To look upon these photos now
Hold nothing but false pretenses
A mirrored hope,
To escape for plummeting slopes
Our roots untouched lay
Fuming in collective dust
Along the many volumes
None would ever breach
Poisingly I held my chin,
Towards the cupping sun
Lapping in all it's warmth
Knowing with just two words
I'd stop the flooding dams, "No More"


Details | Lyric | |

Take Nothing For Granted

I deferred the words " I love you"
Until the morrows light.
Words, that from my heart,
I felt impressed upon to say.

For sure, "I love you",
Would have best been said that night.
Still I reserved ownership,
For perhaps some abstinent day.

Instead, from my vast reserve,
Grating words were launched to flight.
Words that once I'd spent,
Could never be recanted.

I had failed miserably,
At living life in the moment.
So, doting on another days sight,
I had taken our time for granted.

The next day's sun, I found,
Rose not for both alike.
Albiet the sky was blue and bright,
My day was overcast.

For from my life,
I allowed to slip, a love untold,
Now I'm forever yoked with regrets might,
Hard and fast.

Regret is felt always when it is too late.






























Details | Rhyme | |

I Blame Cupid

Cupids arrows
Must be dipped in poison,
Because I thought hearts were meant to beat,
Not to be broken

In the beginning i was in love
And thought it was all meant to be, 
Just me and him, in harmony.

I was going to walk away, 
But I decided to give him one last try
Then he hit me, with his solomn goodbye.

Cupid, you aren't always right.
The choices you make
Can backfire and turn love into hate.

Its not anything new to me, 
My life has always been filled
With suffering and pain.
But this time its not my fault, 
Cupid's the one to blame.


Details | Free verse | |

Ur Angel of Sadness

I once was your Armageddon, your mystic legend
Times we argued, realized it was foolish and grinned
Times we laughed, time is a luxury we do not have
Let us old hands old man
The lady beside you, she sang a beautiful tune 
The things we don’t want to lose 
The loved ones we hate, similar to the above sons mate
The people we want to please 
Those we set a perfect yet fragile image
Only to be later ceased
Precious moments we so desperately want to keep 
Shh! You speak as though you’re never coming back
But I will not return, best wishes, Ur angel of sadness
I’m a survivor
I work miracles, I was yours
I was everything and nothing anyone would care for 
I am still your Armageddon, your mystic legend
My objectives to make you laugh, smile, and mourn
Your rapture, warriors of eternity, a child lost and torn
Mission suffered massive failure 
Let us hold hands this final hour
For your misery is ours
You can say you loved him
You can say you placed no other above him
Despite how it sounds
The individual will everyone around him
Is the loneliest person around
In memory of those whom titled him “Angel of Sadness”


Details | Rhyme | |

At Night Alone

  So here I sit, at night, alone
  Bored and just too many cigarettes to burn
  So I smoke and I wait, seemingly for a call
  And really just ache, cause it's not coming at all
  You're too many miles away from home
  I feel the distance at night, alone
  I hate you for the restless nights
  And I hate me because I know it's not right
  To sit in front of the computer screen
  Searching for the words I just want to scream
  Not even knowing the pain that I feel
  How to describe what feels so unreal
  I miss, just miss, everything that is you
  Laughing for hours at things that you do
  And how could it be that this is the end
  What was to be a lifetime of new things to begin
  But here I sit, at night alone
  And the numbness inside is all that I know


Details | Lyric | |

Once broken, but not destroyed!

As I look back over my life, my heart was broken but I wasn’t destroyed,
Many people tried to take advantage of me like I was some kind of a toy.
When I was a child, I had this fixation that I knew what love is all about, 
I cried a lot because that was the only way for me to get things out.
As a teenager, I lost the dearest person to me, who was my mother,
I was angry with God because the pain that I felt was like no other.
My parents taught me how to be the best Christian all I can be,
When I finally got to know God for myself, I was definitely set free.
As I became older I carried around so much hurt and so much pain,
I know I wasn’t easy to deal with, but the family must have felt drained.
At times I had to express my anger by fighting and hurting myself,
The more I keep writing, one day I will see my book on the bookstore shelf
The most devastating thing I remember was the time I was raped,
At the time it was happening I didn’t have the strength to escape.
It also hurt when no one had faith enough to believe in me,
I tried to deal with the rape by becoming rebellious as I can be.
I thought by going to talk to a psychiatrist would have helped replace my anger,
Instead of making things better, he just helped himself on me and putting me in 
danger.
I didn’t want to live after all these things that happened in my life,
If I had killed myself, today I wouldn’t have become a wife.
A lot of people thought that I wouldn’t make something of myself,
They would look down on me like I was some kind of weird elf.
Through all of this, God showed me what TRUE love was all about.
I have to give him all the praise and honor with a loud shout.
I was a type of person that was definitely misunderstood,
I just wanted somebody to take the time out with me if they could.
Well, the devil thought that I was destroyed but I was yet broken,
I can truly say that I’m no longer his rebellious T-O-K-E-N


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Messiah

Something breaks inside this musty beggar.
As he awakes to see he's on 6th Avenue.
Where he sat and sang and endured the weather.
Where he sat and sang and sung the truth.
But the world didn't view things the way he used to. 
And couldn't seem to make them believe. 
The way that he saw things. 
The way that it should be. 

But I heard him play, like holy water.
And it opened up my eyes.
This man in tattered clothing; he's a, messiah, in disguise.
And I will sadly sing these awful songs. 
That were made in his design.  
Like music he sang all along.
Like music that's divine.

But Then his lovely daughter died. 
And he couldn't handle the grief.
He wrote one last sobbing song. 
And they found him in week.
Huddled in inside an alley-way.
Where he died inside his sleep. 
Dreaming on his daughter's eyes. 
Dreaming that he weeps. 

And now I'm singing songs about his daughter.
That brings a tear into to my eye.
This man in tattered clothing; he's a, messiah in disguise. 
So I will sadly sing these awful songs.
That were made in his design.


Details | Rhyme | |

Forbidden

Untouchable, yet close enough to touch.
It's wrong, I know but I want you so much.
You are the compliment to who I am supposed to be.
You are the one who can set my tortured soul free.
To help me to thrive and to inspire me.
It brings tears to my eyes to think of the impossibility.
There are too many obstacles in our way, 
Too many people to hurt, too big a price to pay.
So with a friendship I must be satisfied,
And bury these feelings deep down inside.
It's just that from you it will be too hard to hide,
When I spend so much of the day at your side.
I think that I am going out of my mind.


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled

A hearts bleak blackness,
Cold as ice.
Lie just once and pay the price.
Of 16 yrs full of sorrow and pain,
Sharing some of the glory and all of the blame.
You said there were no favorites,
 But there in your eyes,
I was silently condemned, that came as no surprise.
I don’t want any apologies,
You never really cared about my emotional needs.
16 yrs gone, too little, too late.
What’s this new emotion? It’s a thing called HATE!!
Not hatred of you,
 Please don’t get me wrong.
I’m tired of being blamed,
It’s the same old song.
Yes I’ve lied and I’ve said I’m sorry.
But I guess it was too late.
Because ever since then I’ve been cursed with this terrible fate.
Never believed when I told the truth.
Always thought a liar and deceiver,
Harsh words spoken, “Never believe her!”
I’ve admitted my sin, but still it remains,
Never will I speak the truth, my words never the same.
Thanks to one lie,
That’s haunted my past.
My present, and future, so happiness never lasts.
I’ve said I was sorry,
Meant it with all my heart.
But you looked away,
Thinking I was playing a part.
Thinking I was playing some weird mind game,
With you as the pawn,
So I just looked away,
 My sorrow long gone.
I’m sick of feeling sorry for myself.
I’ve drifted past that emotion.
I’ve now moved on to bitterness.
And now I’m swimming in an ocean,
Of tears and confusion,
For what I used to be.
Never again will I be myself,
Never again will I be me.
Because of the lie that I spoke and your stubbornness to forgive.
With every breath I take,
With this pain I am forced to live.
Since you can’t forgive me,
How can I forgive myself?
Even with all I have, that you’ve given me,
My good fortune and my health.
Still beneath the surface lies,
What I feel for you emotions as bait,
As ugly monster ready to rear it’s head,
With a name as horrible as hate.
I’ve never hated you,
Please, don’t think that.
But I can no longer stand,
For you to feel like that.
To feel like I can’t be trusted.
That hurts more than you realize.
You’ve never looked past the surface to see,
Where the truth lies,
 I hate only your emotions towards me.
 I love you more than you’ll ever know.
But because of the way you act,
I make sure it never shows.
I know you love me more that life.
So please put aside this fault in me.
And tell me it’s alright,
Tell me you’re sorry so we can be as happy as we used to be


Details | Verse | |

Forever Meant Never

I dreamed that I was here happy,
Happy like we were before,
For a moment I saw you here happy,
You were walking back through our front door,
Now you seem so far away
I told you to leave then begged you to stay.
I cant go on living with out you,
Not even for one more day,
How can I go on living?
When the best part of me dies.
I believed you when you said you loved me,
Then you left with out saying goodbye.
To truly love is to love forever,
You were my heart, my soul, my life,
But to you forever meant never,
Now the loneliness comes by night.
Behind these blue eyes,
I silently cry,
This pain, this hurt
Just wont subside,
When I look at myself in the mirror
My reflection is so hard to see,
You point out every imperfection,
Why couldn't she just let us be.
When you left, you left me empty, and cold,
You couldn't know how bad it felt, 
Your happy now, or so im told
I loved you more than life it self.
When im dead in a grave will you say you loved me?
If I look up will I see the flowers you left  above me,
You promised you'd love me forever,
But to you forever just meant never.


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye

The signs came early enough for us to know, 
that we didn't have much time before you would go.
You had to quit your job and move somewhere new,
leaving all those memories behind for us to review.
We knew the upcoming months would be tough,
trying to make the best of every moment, but still not enough.
The next few months for you were somewhat a blast,
going to Tennessee with your daughters, both hoping it would last.
When you got back, you became sicker and sicker,
the doctors said that  the cancer started getting thicker and thicker.
We all knew the end would come soon, how long it would be, no one knew.
Every moment we could, we spent with you, 
Now I sit and realize how the time just flew.
As the end came near we threw you a surprise,
I'll never forget the look in your eyes.
We threw a surprise party just for you, 
inviting all the people that you knew.
The end would soon come later that night, 
as you passed away and began your heavenly flight.
Mom and Dad said that you had a blast,
those last few moments, filling the night with plenty of laughs.
As you recalled old memories of yours from the past,
with everyone there hoping that time would last.
As I sat through the funeral, and I shed a single tear, 
I would never forget the times you and I shared here.
Now that I know you are gone, 
to live in heaven eternally long,
I have come to say that I will always love you Grandma,
and I will never forget you,
goodbye "Nanaw".



Details | Couplet | |

Piece Me Together

Silence and deaf ears.
Sad times and many tears.
Friends and family so relieving.
Eyes and hearts in me believing.
Times of trial hard to recover.
No time or love from another.
Welcoming arms and open hearts.
Help and comfort and a new start.
Take these things and piece me together.
Take away the bad things and I'll feel better.
Haven't you needed this yourself?
Will you add to it or will you help?
  Hold me close and never leave.
  Keep the puzzle together and you'll be an important piece.


Details | I do not know? | |

Reflection

I’ve had good times,
And endured the bad
Times I’ve felt blessed,
The moments I was sad
Nightmarish memories 
In the depth of my mind
Try to release the anger inside
Through all that I’ve seen
And everywhere I’ve been
Never did I think,
It could be worse than it was then


Details | I do not know? | |

Forbidden Love

You and I were meant to be...
You and I shared a dream...
we fought for our love...
day to day...
but too many people were in our way...
so many asked...
How could we be?...
We came from two different worlds...
One strict...one free...
love has no boundaries...
that's what we believe...
You and I shared a dream...
now seperated by hate...
What was there to gain?...
Are they happy now?...
Seeing us in pain...
from two different worlds...
we paid the price...
love for each other...
was the Ultimate Sacrafice...
prejudism is no lie...
fight back for love...
for in love there is no crime...
farewell my love...
I'm forced to let you go...
remember I love you...
mind, body and soul...
I know in my heart...
we'll meet again...
God will guide us...
he's our only friend...
I'll be waiting for you...
with my arms open wide...
Take care...
I'll miss you...
Love you...
and...
Good bye.


Details | Couplet | |

One Broken Heart

I had a crazy dream last night
In it you were holding me tight
Loving me with all of your might
Oh, baby it felt so right

I woke up to find you gone
You have left me here all alone
Gotta learn to live on my own
Lost the sweetest love I’ve ever known

Sleep escaped me after my dream
Tossing and turning every way it seems
Guess I didn’t fit into your scheme
This hurts even my self-esteem

Saw your face each time I closed my eyes
Every night since you said your goodbyes
Your leaving caught me by surprise
Feels as if it will be my demise

Promised myself not to cry any more
Didn’t know that would be such a chore
Your leaving has rocked me to my core
Now the lonely tears have begun to pour

Dawn came on a new day
The fifth since you went away
Lord, help me make it, I prayed
Wish I didn’t feel like I was betrayed

Two empty arms aching to hold you
Two soft lips needing to kiss you
Two gentle hands longing to caress you 
One broken heart still in love with you


Details | Blank verse | |

Grief Is A Poison

Grief is a poison
Invading my soul
Trying to consume me
Like a buzzard
Pecking away at my flesh
Like a fire
Burning out of control

Grief is a poison
Encompassing my life
Gripping my heart
Slowly tearing it apart

Grief is a poison
That I must endure
It is the price I must pay
For having loved you
Death has taken you
I submit to this poison


Details | I do not know? | |

Midnight Fantasy

I was good to you. But you just insisted on leaving me.The moon was full and 
shining bright. And I needed my midnight fantasy. I couldn't believe my eyes 
though. How you could go with one friend to another friend. Although my fantasy 
was in play I didn't want it to end. You would yell at me and beat me to my shame. 
But still we lit the candles and had dinner with champaign. Why couldn't I have 
that respect for myself. And know the dawn to dusk abuse was not ok. It was only 
because my midnight fantasy would leave me feeling fantasized so in my mind 
he would lay. You put one arm around my waist and the other on my neck. I felt 
sorry for myself you nearly strangled me to death. Oh but midnight fantasy I have 
one question to ask. When will this nightmare in the evening end. Because this 
love has just stabbed me in the back. You were my midnight fantasy but I hate 
you and love me.

                                                  Signed,
                                                a destroyed mistress
                                             called death by evening


Details | Blank verse | |

Not yet.

Yesterday,a ghost of someone better haunting in the shadows that he hath 
banished it to. 
I will bring you back. 
From death and darkness to the light I will resurrect you to former greatness with 
a last hope at her hand. 
Better man she loved so long ago...I am not dead. 
Not yet. 

Wounded child hath sent you in jealousy to live beneath selfish pride and 
careless discontent of the perfect life...of the perfect lady. 
I will bring you back. 
To the surface to resurface faith in those who had given up. 
To heal those hurt by his ways. 
To break the silence. 
Don't lose faith love...I am not dead. 
Not yet. 

Yesterday, I will bring you to life once more. 
Kind and caring, truthful and committed. 
Selfish child sent back...I have much to prove. 
Much to make up.Much living left to do. 
Don't forget Love...I am not dead. 
Not...yet.


Details | Lyric | |

Still

I Still go to that same park, down that same lonely street
I Still sit on that same bench, under that same tree
That one where I carved our initials, in a heart on the bark
That night when we kissed and you gave me your heart

I Still remember that night, when we thought we were alone
I Still see how you looked, when you smelled his cologne
That man passing by, holding his wifes hand
That night when we made love, right there in the sand

I Still have these memories, of holding your hand
I Still have your picture, beside my bed on the stand
That one with your tears, that I made fall from your eyes
That night when I broke your heart, and told you those lies

I still can't believe, that I made you go away
Cause I still see you in the mirror, when the sun shines it's ray
That mirror on the dresser, yes your brush is still there
That one that you'd use, each night on your long flowing hair

Oh! darling I still love you, Yes I still love you
And I know when my life's over, darling I know I still will


Details | Rhyme | |

MY HEART IT WILL GO ON

I found true love, but held too tight
Then one day it flew away
Now after pain, and after hurt
I go on day by day

The pain was bad, like none before
It tore right through my heart
Yet still i live and i go on
Though i can't believe we are apart

My love for you was true you see
And one day i hope you learn
That though we started off things wrong
My heart for you still yearns

I may never see your face again
For we may always be apart
I may even find another love
Yet your love will own my heart

I will always save a space inside
Although for now you're gone
You will always be my one true love
But my heart it will go on.


Details | Lyric | |

Falling Down Like Rain

Falling down like rain
Everything is falling down like rain

My life, my love has fallen apart
Taken a stake drove it into my heart
Shattering it into a million pieces
Still through this my love increases
Seeping into my body so deep
Is this love I desire to keep

Falling down like rain
Everything is falling down like rain

Seeming so often to welt up in my eyes
I fall down for a few more cries
Tears stream down my flushed, red face
My mind full of thoughts that won’t erase
Thoughts of wanting, So pure, So true
Of this love I so need from you


Details | Rhyme | |

He Can't Tell Her Now

He is playing in school
Acting like a fool
Little girl makes his heart go Wow!!
He is kind of shy
She's the apple of his eye
But he can't tell her now.
It is a few years later
And he starts to date her
She fills his dreams somehow
He wants her to stay
To never go away
But he can't tell her now.
It is the secret of his life
He wants her for his wife 
He would take that final vow
Though the years go by so fast
He knows his love will last
But he can't tell her now.
Now in the Autumn of his years
He realizes his fears
That life has past them by somehow
He knows his love will stand
As he touches her cold and lifeless hand
But he can't tell her now.

    Of all the emotions we go through in life, the saddest is regret.


Details | Couplet | |

Disappointment

Disappointment was never as lovely as she
Hope caught in my heart fighting delicately
She's always the dream that never fades upon waking
The cause and the comfort for all of my shaking

I like to glance over then turn carelessly
Just to see if it makes her come over to me
Her smile is infectious and wipes away fear
If it fades then I show her that I'm always near

Sometimes we are split by self-built barricades
So I break through our silence of awkward blockades
And no matter how often old times we recall
We'll forever laugh and the false walls will fall

They all think I'm crazy my truth to repress
Do anything for her and never confess
Yet silently love I continue to show her
It's enough just to feel that I'm getting to know her

But despite my devotion and adoration
There still remains space for one complication
The spark in my eyes grows colder and dim
When I am reminded she's happy with him

Surely love wants the best for the person it's for?
Not selfishly trying their joy to ignore
But however hard jealousy my heart will dent
If my darling is happy, then I am content.


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Hearted

If this wasn't ment to be then why did God let it go this far?
If I cant have tou to myself, 
then why should anyone else?
Im tired of suffering while youre out partying with your friends.
I hate that I cant hid from all this,
but some how you find a way you can.
I hate when I see you for the first time in months.
I hate that I build myself up,
only to let you tare me down.
I dont wanna love you anymore.
I dont want to look at him and see you.
I dont wanna think of the "What If's".
I dont wanna see your face everywhere I go.
I dont wanna cry everytime I hear our song on the raido.
I dont wanna think about our past,
thinking of ways I could of made it last.
If you didn't love me,
then why did you lead me on?
If you didn't care then why were you holding on so strong?
If I was the one, then why are you with HER??


Details | Verse | |

It Rains This Time Of Year

Stood beneath the branches of the oak,
  Mud and dampness rising from the ground,
It rains this time of year, I think I spoke,
  When no one else was there to hang around.

In the gushing torrent on the slate,
  Surging from the roof and to the pipe,
Whispers seem to echo, resonate,
  And raindrops from my eyes I need to wipe.

For I don’t ever cry despite it seems
  That sadness shadows haunt upon my face,
It’s just the lonely rain that always teems
  This time of year and in this very place.

I see a past when chestnuts lay on grass,
  And she was like a willow, lithe and svelte,
We drank of apple wine in crystal glass,
  And in the dusk I found out how she felt.

Beside the crackling fire in the hearth,
  I tasted her and she thus tasted me,
I somehow knew we walked a separate path
  And all we built with words would never be.

As I recall she left me in the fall,
  A note upon the pillow by my head,
And at the time I didn’t care at all
  Just carved another notch upon the bed.

It was raining when she went, is raining on,
  And even now, on times, I sense her near,
So much for futile wishing, she has gone,
  I only know it rains this time of year.


Details | Rhyme | |

You Catch me

I cannot get to sleep, yet I dream.
Bond to forever weep, this life can't redeem.
Pictures of you, flood through my mind.
Helping me make it through, our end I will not find.
Living is a war, war is hell.
You have my heart forever more, I'd always tell.
So many rhymes, telling my story.
About all my crimes, and what little glory.
Only one true love, always you.
I've always dreamt of, us making it through.
A fire burns, within our eyes.
As the world turns, our love never dies.
So many roads, along the way.
Our goofy codes, bring us closer everyday.
All these things, all these memories.
Remembering brings, me falling to my knees.
When I fall, you catch me.
When you saw, I fought passionantly.
My broken fingers, point to the sky.
Your kiss lingers, helping us to fly.
You catch me, as my body drops.
I'm set free, when this depression stops.
I catch you, I'll always be there.
Oneday it will be just us two, for this love can't tear.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Last Dove

Can you hear my pain crawling through blood soaked walls?
What about my screams in the devils halls?
Im haunted by love in a shadow and sick in the dust of lies.
Slowly my sences die.
Hours count my Torture and minuites drive me away,
Until its time for my life to pay.
Im sick of my constant hurt and failure, Im sick of love,
I wan't my sister in heaven above.
My heart blisters with black blood,
Breathless under a blanket of mud.
Wickedly medicated by your so called love
But you murdered my sole~ my last dove.
How can you treat me like you do?
And why do I still love you?


Details | I do not know? | |

Broken

Piercing glares, ripping me apart.
I plead out for help, but the pain keeps tearing.
My eyes hide the pain, but it can't cover my broken heart.
 
Silent screams, haunting my soul.
The pain is killing me softly,
But it is far too slow.
 
Blood rushing down my wrists.
My fear erasing, my pain is all but gone.
I ask you for help, but I took this risk.
I am all by myself, I am alone.
 
My dreams shaded by your memory.
The scars just won't go away! I need you now!
Have you finally figured out how much you mean to me?
 
But it's far too late, my blood fading, along with my sorrow.
You beg for me to live now....why? I have to ask.
But even so, my soul is shattered, there is no tomorrow.
 
I don't want to remember my life without you,
but it's inevitable, I can't remember the good times.
I can only feel my pain,
My life has been over, since the first day that I met you....


Details | Free verse | |

Pears and Lilies

Across the cold concrete steps
Are strewn pears and lilies

A very long time ago
A grave tragedy occurred here

No one saw anything
No one said a word

Dark spirits now protect the site
Somber, powerful memories still remain

At the corner of forever
Out on the edge of time

Where something means everything
But means nothing at all

Stands a figure transfixed, keenly aware
that beyond the void and

Across the cold concrete steps
Are strewn pears and lilies


Details | Bio | |

Just Once More

Just one more time
to lay next to you
to feel your love
and know it's true

Arms encircling
the one I so love
To kiss your lips
Like paradise above

To be alive once more
And not in this vegetative state
To feel one last passion
With the one I so adore

But like a wasted stamp
On a letter long unsent
Within words I hoped would show
My love is truely eternal
There is no way I'd go

But somehow,
Like a misdirected letter
Our plans, they ran aground
My dreams so deep, so shattered
To miss the one I'd found

So, in a coma
of numbed pain
I live
and often wonder why
I see now only darkness
Where others see blue sky

I look at your old pictures
Read old letters that you sent
My heart does start to ache
To where and why you went

Where you are, I often wonder
And cry myself to sleep
I only hope you realize
Just how my love was deep

I hope that you are happy
Fulfilled, with all you crave
I'll carry this heavy love
Into my final grave.


Details | Rhyme | |

An Old Man Weathered and Worn

This old man weathered and worn
Stands by the grave broken and torn.

Tears of sympathy, tears of pain,
Roll down his cheek with fury of blame.

His wife's memories have been trashed and her destiny has been claimed
Her life was taken by a drunk driver who must not be named.

For he got off free with nothing to show
Except for the knowledge that he will know.

He left this old man alone to mourn
He left an old man weathered and worn.


Details | Free verse | |

Confused Heart

I don't know why you insist on loving me
Because you won't receive it back fully
I'm not so used to the subject
A part of my heart is saying, "I don't love you!"

You can't sleep at night because you're worried 
About me...
But let me say that I'm very important
You wont leave me alone, you're in my way
And I cannot have that
Its fine that we're friends but we...
Cannot go any further than that

But you'll have a nice life
You'll find someone to be in your life
Because I am nothing but trouble...

However you insist that love is stonger
But tell me why people get hurt everyday
It is because of this so-called-thing love
That's hurting everyone, me, and you

Just because I choose not to love you
In that way...
Doesn't mean that I don't...
Think of you every now and then

You'll have a nice life
You'll find someone to be in your life
Becase I am nothing but trouble...

I don't know why you insist on loving me
Because you won't receive it back fully
I'm not so used to the subject
A part of my heart is saying, "I don't love you!"
I don't know why you insist on loving me
Because you wont receieve it back fully
I'm not so used to the subject
So just drop it please
However you insist that love is stronger
It maybe in a fantasy world
However we live in reality
And a part of my heart is saying, "I don't love you!"


Details | Rhyme | |

Free to Fly

This is the last time that I fall in love
I'm gonna be free to fly above
My hearts been broken and torn in two
I wish I could fix it and make it feel new
I'm taken my heart back, I'm not gonna cry
I'm gonna be free, I'm gonna fly high
I'm not gonna listen to anymore lies
I'm keeping my heart and saying goodbye
I sit in my room, and think about you
I wonder what, I'm gonna do
My friends say don't worry
You'll find someone new
but the only one I want is you


Details | Free verse | |

After All

Tumble me through this nebulous
connection
so
I can
gently touch your fingertip
as you
reach
for November’s sky

Kindly
wrap me in winter wishes
    once upon an icy star
and
warm me with promised
nights of velvet
naked
 
Then
    blessedly
release me into the
night of snow
and lost


Details | Romanticism | |

Girl

Its so hard to say good-bye but I still cry, 

Now that I realize that you gone out of my 

life, girl I just can't stop writing poems 

about you, I love so much, girl I'm about to 

go insane all my days still look like rain, 

girl I go through so much pain, I don't know 

if I could remember my name, it feels like 

I'm about to loose my mind, I know your legs 

are tired, because you run through my all 

the time, girl, over and over I think about 

you, now I hope you see how much I'm still 

in love with you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Undefeated Fighter

Just when I thought my heart was mending,
I realized that it wont mend the pain is never ending.
I got my heart and soul warm with love again and slowly its all getting took back ,
back into that cold world of heartache.
The world where you cant do anything but cry yourself  to sleep at night ,
and when you love someone with all your heart it seems like there is nothing 
more to life.
This love thing is a cruel and deceiving fight.
A fight you possibly cant win because by the time you get to the end your heart is 
so torn you have to try to put the peices back together.
Its so weak and so tired of the pain but you take the little bit of strenght you have 
left and get up and ready to fight, for it to get ripped out and torn up all over again.
This is simply a fight I just cant win and I no longer have the strenght to proceed.
So I forfeit, I quit, I throw in the towel and as many times as i've battle this battle 
and fought this fight i deserve the right to walk away!
I cannot defeat this undefeated fighter for it has got the best of me!


Details | Quatrain | |

In the Sand

He walked down to the sea, lonely and bored
then dips his hand in the warm ocean brine.
Forty years she was the one he adored,
so he kneels to pray for her, one more time.

He spells out her name in the smooth beach sand
then he watches a wave wash it away.
Whispers "Goodbye" just as he starts to stand
he wishes there was more that he could say.

A gentle rumble as breaks a small wave
he can smell her perfume as on the breeze.
He has not the strength to visit her grave
self-pity and pain is all that he sees.

Watches seagulls as they swarm a shrimp boat
as it makes a turn back toward the bay.
Hollow and empty he feels without hope
and wishes a wave would wash it away.


Details | Blank verse | |

When We Were We

When We were We it was just me and you. But then We became an Us. You 
added someone else to the picture. A picture that I didn't agree to take. When we 
were We everything was good. But I did something wrong, or I didn't love you like 
you thought I should. When We were We I loved you with all my heart. But We 
now being an Us the place where you once sat is empty and dark. When We 
were We I thought that forever we'd stay that way, But I should have remembered 
that We were now an Us and thought some other way. When We were We 
nothing could make me not smile, but Us being an Us my smile is always a 
frown. We were we but now you and her are a ya'll. We were We but now you and 
her are a them. We were We but I wasn't comfortable with being an US. We were 
we, but were is in the past. We were We, I wonder if she knew We were an US? 
And if she knew that We were nolonger a We and We were an Us I'll make her a 
Was.


Details | I do not know? | |

Leaving for love

To leave before I hurt again,
is what I must do.
To look into your eyes, the 
pain I guess you don't see.
My body trembling every-
time you are next to me,
I guess you don't feel.
To hear your voice, the love
I feel every time, I guess you don't.
Not wanting to leave,
but must.
Wanting to be your friend,
but not sure how.
Wanting to be your friend, 
but not allowed.
To hurt knowing what I know.
Just remember one thing,
I left because I love you,
not for hating you.


Details | Free verse | |

Forever to Be Gone, Never to Return

I sit here thinking about 
What I’m soon to do
Our past, present, and future
The things I’ll say
The things I’ll do
What I wish we would have done
And what we didn’t do
The things you’ve done 
And what you might do

You should rot in jail
But
I don’t know 
If
I can send you there

I sit here
Missing you 
Even though I’m not to

I sit here 
Loving you
Even though I’m not to 


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

REFLECTIONS

                           Reflections of a day gone by
                           Reflections in the mirror of tears in my eyes
                           Reflections in a window pane
                           Trying to erase all the pain
                           Reflections of your face near me
                           Reflections of what never would be
                                      You said you loved me
                                       You didn't stay
                            Reflections of a lie,that never goes away.


Details | I do not know? | |

Hopeless

Hopeless, but devoted,
Hopeless, but in love,
Hopeless, untill the day i shout enough.
Hopeless, but i care,
Hopeless, it seems you're never there.
Hopeless, i won't leave,
Hopeless, love me please.
Hopeless, you're my all,
Hopeless, can't you hear my call,
Hopeless, everytime you let me fall.
Hopeless, when you lie,
Hopeless, can't you see me cry.
Hopeless, when i try,
Hopeless, you make me want to die.
Hopeless, feel my pain,
Hopeless, I'm about to go insane.
Hopeless, to hurt you,
Hopeless, I'll hurt me.
Hopeless, can't  you see,
Hopeless, god please set me free.
Hopeless, you don't care,
Hopeless, it's just not fair.
Hopeless, but devoted,
Hopeless, but in love,
Hopeless, untill the day I shout enough.


Details | Rhyme | |

Can't Believe

I cant believe you did this to me,
i'm hurt but glad because you helped me see.
I put up with so much from you,hoping 
that you'd eventually be true.
All I ever did was love and adore you.
You were my bestfriend but now our whole
friendship has come to an end and I will
never let you help my heart mend,
so that you can break it all over again.
This time:forget you is the message I choose
to send.I will love you for ever,but
you suck me back in... never.
I must see it for the best,
a big weight was released of my chest.
You had me fooled thinking you had changed,
when all along you remained the same.
Since I met you,I couldnt picture life
without you.
you messed up thinking this friendship
revolved all around you.
All this happened for a reason,
and guess what?I'm leaving,
you are just to damn decieving.
Ending our friendship will hurt me more than you,
since i'm the only one who was true.
All I have to say is that you will need me one day.
You dont know what you have untill its gone,so...
goodbye and so long.


Details | Romanticism | |

Beautifully Ruined Hearts

He stepped over her head,
	with polite procession.
Climbing the pearl ladder of dreams
			Seeking the world, something he would call Heaven.
FeetplantedFirmly
	in the clouds, tapping his toes on transparent sheets of oblivion. 
TAP TAP TAP
	away the roads of old.
		See the flowers budding anew,
watch his tender eyes as life blooms,
				And he finally began.
She knew him.
 	She knew there was a game
he yearned to play; a muscle he yearned to flex; a hole in his heart he yearned to fill.
			A teary eyed—green eyed girl peered
from behind,
	Witnessing a life come true.
A kiss of rain on a hot, sunny day...his relief, his time to fly.
			As soon as the rain came
				Such beautiful ruin followed;
		Places he traveled,
			Children he sired,
					The woman he always desired. 
And so he waved.
	And so she cried.
Such a way for her to die; truth be told she knew he’d forget for a bit.
				Truth be let go;
					He moved further away from when she knew him best.
All eagles learn to fly 
		and as they spread their wings 
					they soar above the rest.
								Riding the current,
										   
ridding the past. Looking to the sky
		Placing his hand on the moon 
and his foot
		on the greatest mountain of all; love.
			
					He is love. 
		She has witnessed his greatness in and wilted because of it; 
				    only to grow and find 
			         love 
					comes and goes 
								on it’s own.
			    
			            One of these days, she thinks,
 		                             he will remember 
				      that he loved me.
				
				      One of these years
          		   he’ll look back and see that while his life was soaring, 
			      another’s was painfully beginning.
				
                                                          One of these days, 
	                                                  she’ll forget 
				    how nice he was to her.
			    
			   And he’ll remember how nice it was 
				         to see her smile.
                             
		     But she’ll never know, for she’ll have a life of her own.


Details | Free verse | |

Closure

Where once I could only taste
Sweet as sweetness should be, 
Now there is only but
A sense of hostility
Towards me.
Perhaps you should but could not; 
I say, “please, ” but you would not

Say goodbye.

Now you say it is not over
And that I should wait; 
So I do so, 
But is it in vain? 
Like in slow motion, 
Falling in mid-air, 
Faster and faster; 
Till the ground meets me
And my body shatters and breaks.

It’s been so long since I last saw you, 
My heart is now cramping in ache; 
But the ground has not yet met me, 
So as you say so, 
Here I lie and wait.

I miss you, 
And shall keep missing you, 
Till the time comes
When I will miss 
Missing you.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Sun I Now See

I think of you when you're not here.
I wish each moment you were near.
I recall the good times we've been through.
I can not think any negative of you.
Will we be together when life is done,
Or will I still be the lonely one?
The dreams we had are now dead.
Life without you is a nightmare instead.
It seems to be stormy every day.
Gone is my desire on earth to stay.
How can they say, "Life goes on."
When black is all I can bear to don?
Then came the night I dreamed of us.
You told me to stop all the fuss.
You came to me and held me tight
And encouraged me, "Don't give up the fight."
I saw the answer in your brown eyes.
To give up on life is not wise.
Now I can feel you in my heart.
I know we'll never really be apart.
Through all this, you've healed me,
And I can say, "THE SUN I NOW SEE!"


Details | I do not know? | |

For Reals

HEAL MY SWOLEN HEART YOU HOLDER OF ITS PAINFULL BEAT,
REPEATING STRONG SENSATIONS WHICH DEVOUR ME,
NO LONGER STRONG ENOUGH ALONE,
MY SOLITUDE SHOWS MOMENTS THAT I'VE TRIED TO HIDE,
SUDDENLY THE ANGUISH FROM INSIDE BECOMES ALIVE,
AROUND HERE THERE IS EMPTYNESS WHERE ONCE THERE LIED A HUG,
IT SEEMS THAT NOW HUGS AINT ENOUGH TO REASURE ME YOU STILL CARE,
LIFES NOT UNFAIR IF UNDERSTOOD RIGHT,
YET CAN HARDLY GRASP IT,
CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THOSE SMILES DAMN IT,
ALL IS WELL BELOW SURFACE,
AND STILL I FEEL SO WORTHLESS,
SEARCH FOR PURPOSE IN THIS MESS,
DOING THE BEST TO GET THROUGH BEING WITHOUT ANSWERS TO MY 
QUESTIONS,
WHICH IS WHEN WILL TIME HEAL ME,
NOT TO FORGET THE HURT YOUR FEELING,
TRYING TO SEAL WHATS CALLED THE PAST,
OH HOLDER OF THIS PAINFUL BEAT MY HEART IS FEELING,
DRILLING SORROWS THROUGH MY SOUL,
FILLING WITH SOMETHING NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW BUT US,
TO HAVE A YEARNING SO PROFOUND TUGGING AT US,
MUST HAVE BEEN WRECKLESSLY IN LOVE RIGHT,
BUT I'LL FEEL THIS PAIN FOR LIFE TIMES,
REFUSING TO GO AWAY,
I WOULDN'T HAVE IT OTHER WAYS,
PREFER TO STAY AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE,
THROUGH EVERY PASS I GO,
THINKING OF US MAKES MY HEART SWOLEN,
LIKE A LOVE THATS PASSED ME BY,
AND EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP TEARDROPS SLIPP OUT OF EYES THAT 
WANT SO MUCH TO CATCH THE SIGHT OF YOU,
THE UNDERSTANDING SIDE OF YOU,
CREATING SOMETHING GREATER THAN I'VE DEALT WITH,
NONE WILL EVER MEVER MEASURE UP TO YOU,
PLACED THE SCALE HIGH WITH ONE KISS,
IT SEEMS I'VE MISSED YOU FOR A DECADE AND THREE WEEKS,
NOW IT'S SO HARD FOR ME TO EVEN SPEAK,


Details | I do not know? | |

I miss him

As I sit on the porch with the stars up high, the moon hides behind the trees, 
bright, yet shy.
 I can feel you sitting here next to me, shareing the beauty, the peace, the energy.  
Quietly whispering secrets into my ear,saying "With me by your side there is no 
fear."  
Then with a turn of my cheeck I can see your face, my blood turns hot and my 
heart begins to race.
 Now I'm nervous and don't know why, feeling like the moon, a little shy.  
There are so many things I want to say, but with a loss of words, I turn away.
 You just laugh and smile at me, while pulling me toward you loveingly.
 "You don't have to say it," is what you whisper now,"We found eachother some 
way some how." 
Holding hands we look at the sky, and talk of possibilities that wont pass us by. 
Yes, it's you and me baby til' the end, and when you can't be here I can pretend. 
Pretend I feel your warmth and touch, and hope you miss me just as much.
 It wont be long this we know, so lets embrace this as our time to grow. 
And finally when i see you, you better watch out, I'm gonna smother you with love 
and scream and shout.
 Sending lots of kisses your way, so sleep tight baby soon will come our day.


Details | Romanticism | |

Will I ever get to see you again

There was a time when I didn't have much to care about
even with people all around me
and now it seems like I have to much to care about
but where is everyone today
my life was suddenly turned upside down
spinning out of control
then one day from out of the blue I thought of the time
I spent with you
even though our time together was short lived
it had so much to give
and the memories came pouring in my mind and out of my eyes
all of a sudden I realized
you were more to me than just another guy or friend
I can't help but wonder
will I ever get to see you again?

Most of our time was spent talking on the phone
but there were also the moments
we spent alone
I remember holding each other close whenever we were near
never wanting to let go
cause we knew we couldn't hold each other come tomorrow
we didn't get to see each other very much
and damn it now I wish to God we had stayed in touch
something here has got to give
I'm running out of things to believe in
that's why I pray everyday for an answer to my question
will I ever get to see you again?

I think of the time where we watched the game with your
friends and family
and then with no kind of planning
we were alone together
and we spent our first and only night
holding one another tight untill the morning
I remember how when we looked deep into each others eyes
for me life stopped for a moment at that time
and it was you that had my hyponotized
oh so many butterfiles
it has taken this long for me to realize
that never has anyone taken me there again
my biggest mistake I've ever made was not telling you how I truely felt
I couldn't put it in the right words
because I really wasn't sure of my emotions
thought it was just what was happening in the moment
and give time I would be alright
never did I believe now I would be in such torment
the pain of not knowing
will I ever get to see you again?

Need to find you to let you know
that you are the only one I could never let go and I really do love you so
oh somebody please help me find the answers
because I do need to know
will I ever get to see you, hold you, tell you I am in love with you again?
If so when?


Details | Ballad | |

A SUBSTITUTE FOR THIS LONELINESS

Another charming woman is
sharing with me what I used
to share with you without guilt,
even without a sad feeling or thought:
to find a substitute for this loneliness...
for  that deep void you left inside!

The cell phone always rang
at the end of the evening;
and I was so thrilled
to hear you at the other end:
to listen to the sweet words that were
able to turn an uncaring man
into a gentler and kinder one...
and I learned how to care!

Oh,how I long to hear that voice again,
and like a dream that needed litttle dreaming:
you came knocking on my door at dawn,
and I let you in without hesitating...
so earger to touch you like nobody could;
so impatient to invent a magical world!   

Another night is coming to haunt me mercilessly
with the beautiful memories and secrets 
of two close hearts loving endessly;
what other choice do I have...if not look away,
and tell myself that you don't exist in my thoughts...
to find a substitute for this loneliness?
    


Details | Free verse | |

Under Oath

Death awaits me on the corner
so be quick
with your
condemnation
and I shall consider
tomorrow’s charges
tangled
with today’s
conviction
and claim
my part
of
just accusation
and
no
more.


Details | Free verse | |

WAITING FOR THE NEW DAWN

He stands there waiting for the new dawn to come. 
strewn all about before him in a field of broken dreams;
are the scattered pieces of his once new beginnings.
Doors are closed,  fences are wired ;

The battle line is drawn as he guards;
the inner most of his existence.
His face is lined with worry and marred ;
by the tears from rivers of sorrow for lost hope.

The cries from within are deadened;
by the walls of silent anger and he waits.
He waits for one who has not come;
as feathers of doves lay before him as if guiding.

All are unknown paths and unsure directions. 
Driven by desire but imprisoned by circumstances;
escape seems hopeless. and like a cancer; 
desperation spreads and consumption seems inevitable.

In a secret place of his mind are the memories of yesterdays tomorrows.
A house is not a home and windows are fastened shut..
In a garden where flowers once bloomed tangled webs of lies and deceit now loom;
and his universe goes unfed..

In his dreams comes a lady of magic.
Her face goes unseen, there's only a light from her eyes;
and it penetrates his mind and somehow tells him;
that with her blown breath fences will vanish.

doors will be open; and with her touch ;
gardens will flourish and hearts will be fed. 
There is a gentleness from her that shows him hope; 
As the light from the new dawn brings him back to where he stands.

one thought repeats its self over and over. 
Is she real? 
Will she really come? 
Will she come in time?


Details | Free verse | |

Hand Me A Drink

   Hand me a drink and pass me one more........

Let me pass out before you leave with that whore!
Dont tell me her name or where she comes from.
Don't wake me when you'r night out is done.

   Hand me a drink and pass me one more...........

Please don't wake me when you close the door.
Don't come home wearing that other girls scent.
Don't be upset when you hear me vent.

   Hand me a drink and pass me one more.............

Make sure I'm dressed warm before I hit the floor.
When you awake and I'm no longer their,
just know I left because you treated me unfair.

   I asked for a drink and I asked for one more............

So I could kill my pain and forever shut the door.
The door I shut lies beneath the ground.
and when you miss me, its because true love you had found.
When you visit that forever shut door.........

   You'll ask for a drink and you'll ask for one more!!!!!


Details | I do not know? | |

I miss u(R.I.P Velma j Smith)

I miss you mom,
and I could tell you a million reasons why
the way you use to take care of me
when I was sick or in need at night or day.
and sometimes when I wasn't happy
maybe I'll be depressed,sad,or mad
You would always come to comfort me and make me laugh and smile
I miss u mom
so very,very much
i sometimes just miss u so much until,I'll curve your name in my arm,or just began to 
cry just thinking of u.
I miss u mom,
why did the man above have to take your life away?
i only got to be with u for 9 years that's it
that's not even enough time,for all of the year i got before me without u in my life
I miss u mom.
i sometimes see u in my dreams at night
and in my mind all of the time
i love and miss u a lot
but i try not to think of u that much,because it hurts so bad when i cry a river of 
tears,just for u
but i guess that's a good thing mom
because I'm still loving u and will always love,miss and respect u
even though your gone to a better place...
I MISS U MOM.


Details | I do not know? | |

Remembering

Seeing your face every time
I close my eyes.
Every dream I dream is 
of you.
Wanting you near me, knowing 
I can't have you.
Knowing your life is with
someone else now, as so is mine.
Knowing that we belong 
together, knowing in my mind,
my heart, and my soul.
Thoughts of you racing through
my mind, my heart beats faster
and faster.
Can't catch my breath.
Remembering, remembering the 
last words you said to me.
Remembering the words,"I'll
get you back, you will be mine."
Waiting, hoping, praying its
not too late.
Why do we remember, remember 
the past?
It doesn't help the future,
it confuses the future.
If that is so, why am I 
so happy remembering the past
and yet so sad, living the future?


Details | Free verse | |

Ready and Waiting

I’m ready and waiting to find your love again
Ready to be the one your heart lets in
How great was my sin that caused you much pain
From you my mind was gone, but my heart remained
So hard to maintain, so hard to refrain
From cursing the God and the heavens above
For I have lost my one and only love
But because, of my stupidity, I caused my humility
Literally, my heart was torn in two
How could I ever hurt you?!
Now this has caused us to regrettably separate
Has my own foolishness sealed our love’s fate?
As I sit and contemplate, I imagine the time
When your heart will once again become mine


Details | Verse | |

REGRETS


There's a feeling inside, I can't explain
Somehow good intentions have ended in pain
Its not what I wanted
Its not how I planned
But somehow true love has slipped through my hand.

You were my true love, My kindred, My life
Its hard to accept you won't be my wife
Destroyed and in tatters, beyond all repair
But never forget girl, I'll always be there.

Its sad and unfair how we fell apart
But although its in pieces, you still own my heart
With each sun that rises, with each sun that sets
My prayers are for you, the girl I can't get.

We'd laugh, we were silly, we'd sulk, we'd forget
But when bed time came round, I was so glad we met
Your face in the bath, when your hair it was wet
Your perfume, your toothbrush, I'll never forget.

I've paid for my crimes for what I've done to you
I've paid with my heart, for its broken in two
I love you my sweetheart, my breath of fresh air
The best part of my life with you I once shared.


Details | Ballad | |

The Wanderer part 1

I remember a day I smiled at her
And she smiled back
That was miles away
down the road
We parted there
And I came back
to find her long gone
No trace, no note, no sign
I wondered if she
had hesitated before leaving
Was I worth a moment's reflection?
Does love escape so easily?
Can I hope for an equivalant peace?
I sat upon a stone
for an hour
On the deserted road
And reflected upon her existence
which so troubled me
How many have traveled
these worn paths?
Why do I see nothing
from horizon to horizon?
I smashed the stone
over my head
Hoping it would
ease the pain
No fresh thoughts 
flowed; but merely,
a second of intense pain
which melted into anger;
and resolved to despair
Alone I sat
till the sun had buried itself
below the distant hills
A cloud pushed it down
I knew I might die there,
if I did not travel on
Death has no mercy
So I put my shoes on
and walked

There was music
in the distant hills
flowed through the leaves
Did I detect a sinister leer
across the moon's face?

I spat at the stars
Whose light shone on me
with such a total waste

Each step
towards those grey and black hills
brought a recurrence of
each burning memory
I had no solice in thought

I took off my shoes
as I stumbled over the gravel
Hoping the jabbing pain
of each stone's attack
would flavor my thoughts

I was embarrassed
even while being alone
For I knew I was a fool
Had I not held her tighter
Had I not dragged her
Had I not missed her
on a different road.
I had not
And I paid dearly
for a few moments
of unexcelled bliss

I spent six days walking
in silence
Not a soul passed me by
Only the crickets saluted my march-
or did they laugh at me
from their dark dens?
I tried sleepwalking
when the agony of thought
burnt too deep
But I bagan finding myself
wandering off the road
You need both eyes
to travel that road

I was close to death
one weary night
A night so weary
I was restless with exhaustion
When the darkness
reached out to grab me
And I nearly smiled
to see my end

A sudden flash!!
A gleaming yellow light
The dim flicker of hope
swelled at the
possibility
So I ran
with my last moment's breath
to embrace a beauty
which outshone my old love

Strength returned and
my feet were no longer sore
Love bloomed to heights
I never knew existed
Old loves and earlier horrors
were dispelled by her
shining yellow light

(continued on part  two)


Details | Free verse | |

Silent Love

Am I able to express my feelings
Or shall I seal my lips
In horror with the shredding memories and failures of this heart
Never letting it speak out 
Bottled up with emotions that are stored in the depth of my soul

Is it possible to stop this watch from ticking 
Making my time pause in an infinite world and future
Is this being able to withstand the confusion
As rapid minutes turn into hours and days
Leaving this agony to speak to burst away

Am I able to show how my hurtful soul can be reborn again
Able to love and share the beauty and joy and this magical feeling
Yet I'm reserved to this
scared of the outcome and negativity

Love has  been shown in such  mystical ways
believed to make you float during your lasting days
Or can it tear you apart and bury you in sadness

For I have faith in this love
Even though it has been teared away from me
Allowed to break with the shattering pieces in sadness

Its been hard to see you everyday
Gazing at your eyes
Wishing you knew about mine
I can't react
So I must wait as an echo
Until you open your heart freeing your thoughts
And then I can allow myself to open mine

I could forever wait for this response
Unable to admit my thoughts
So I stay in silence 
For I can't make a sound 
Sealed forever more in the darkness of my heart


Details | I do not know? | |

Until I'm Once More With You

Memories that can never be erased 
Spirits sharing a special space 
A love that would rival any love song 
One that never dies but goes on and on 
You never promised to always be here 
And with you by my side I has nothing to fear 
Your touched my heart and soul 
With a flame that still to this day never has lost it's glow 
We traveled in time but went no where 
We walked paths that few ventured to dare 
I long for the red rocks and the time back then 
I whisper your name again and again 
I grieve for the time I once knew 
And will continue to grieve until I'm once more with you


Details | I do not know? | |

Killed By A Blessing

Tell me your lying.

Tell me this isn't mine.

Made a mistake this time.

Provoking life with no revoking of reality.

To or to not make it a fatality.

And actually live with the mentality.

Of having a gun on my own flesh and blood.

Yet, sensing my own would be done.

To take this one of pregnancy.

With the irony.

Of living a legacy.

That is the epitome of the pit of me.

And my stupidity.

All I am.

All I haven't been.

What I could of been.

Not to be left dead.

Killed not by a bullet, but by a blessing.

Life is to costly for me.

There is no mabey for this baby.

This legacy just isn't ready.

Nor am I.

To die.

Of ambition and living.

Still itching for a contract.

To contract a means of green to be freed.

Yet, in the wake of my mistake.

I am left with the deed of destroying my seed.

Bringing up the burning, yearning of knowing...

Positive or Negative?


Details | I do not know? | |

Pretend

 I can pretend to smile,even pretend to show
 All those great emotions I already did let go
 You took my heart with you when I made you
 walk away
 I guess I've been wrong,is it too late to say
 I really do love you a lot,will you love me  back
 My life has no meaning,without you I seem to lack
 Everything good that ever happened,there's nobody
 else for me
 Just let me love you again,then you will see
 There's nothing good about me not coming home
 to you
 Please don't let me go,I was made just for you


Details | I do not know? | |

Werewolves

Starving amber eyes that drink oasis scraps 
  Thrown from her cast off demeanour to fall 
Upon the bare heart scape which formats and maps 
  The course of true love, or of nothing at all. 
I am monkshood drawn, snared willingly onward, 
  No gaining of ground only losing of grip, 
In a faithful disruption clawed inward and outward 
  For a smile or rebuke in the curl of her lip. 
In keeping the secret and living with heartbreak, 
  Devoured by werewolves invisibly barking, 
The madness and sadness, wolfs bane and earthquake, 
  Life wished away and time made for marking. 
Some days it feels like a carnival dying, 
  With darkness encroached of a consummate skill; 
Then others it lessens, the whole world goes flying, 
  She may want me again, and I plead that she will.


Details | Lyric | |

Let Me Go

You make me feel
So beautiful
When you're mine
You make me feel
So wonderful
When you're not lying
But I cant 
Stand to see your arm around her waist
And I cant
Stand to hear you calling out her name

Im begining to see
That you only want them
When you no longer have to chase me
And you only want me
When I belong to someone else

You tend to call me
When I dont want
Anything to do with you
You tend to call me
Late at night
When Im with someone new
But I cant
Stand the nights when you dont call me at all
And I cant 
Stand to hear that you were at her house all night long

Im begining to see
That you only want them 
When you no longer have to chase me
And you only want me 
When I belong to someone else

Why do you
Do this to me
Why cant you see
What this is doing to me
After I find out your lie
I lie in my bed and cry
And I wake up in the new morning
Only to geel the new break in my heart forming

Im begining to see 
That you only want them
When you no longer have to chase me
And you only want me
When I belong to someone else

Let me go
or hold on to me
Let me go
or just dont leave
Let me go


Details | I do not know? | |

The Truth

Alone I would sit and quietly watch from afar
the little girl whom nobody knew
who was constantly in awe of a twinkling star
and forever questioned whether the sky was black or blue.

Her childlike innocence bore an unoccupied charm
to which boys would flock to entertain
on the outside she appeared cool and calm
but inside she felt great disdain.

Her eyes glistened like pools of emotion
staring reminiscently; memories in her mind
trying hard to control the reflection
but the words echoed cruel to be kind.

One smile would clear the thundering sky
one laugh warm the coldest day
but her head sank low and she began to cry
the pain she felt, too much to say.

Making excuses she quietly departs
as the faces turn to stare
she goes in search for her once lost heart
like an antique the best are always rare.


Details | Romanticism | |

Bittersweet Memories

Walks around the lake are bittersweet memories
that leave tears in my eyes
tears in my eyes
I remember the way your hand felt in mine
how the world seemed fine
yeah
the world was mine
I remember staring into your eyes
knowing that you would always be there
My mind is full of these bittersweet memories
leaving tears in my eyes
tears in my eyes
I remember when I could make you smile
yeah
when I could make it all worthwhile 
I remember when I was all you needed
yeah
when no one else would do
We used to waste nights away
talking about anything and everything
sometimes even nothing at all
I’m choking up with every thought of you
as these bittersweet memories are leaving tears in my eyes
tears in my eyes


Details | Lyric | |

Behind The Smile

You see her smile, and she seems alright.
But what you don’t see is that she is crying inside
You think if she is sad, why doesn't she shed a tear? 
Maybe showing emotion is her biggest fear. 
She doesn't want people to see something is wrong. 
All she wants is for people to think her heart is strong. 
She doesn't want to know what others might say, 
If she just broke out in tears one day. 
Just remember what goes up must come down 
And a smile can easily cover up a frown. 
This girl, if you cannot see, 
Is no one other than me. 


Details | Free verse | |

Inattention

time and distance unwind
unmindful of a ticking clock
as
commitment tumbles through constant years
with ne’er a thought
that 
there exists another dimension
where all possibilities exist


Details | Free verse | |

Yearning For You

If I know what you want 
I would give it to you
How about the moon
A bandit I will become
Disguised as the wind
I will quickly steal it from the sky
And hand it to you
I don’t know what you want
I haven’t a single clue.

My heart you already have
Maybe I gave it too soon
Because all you did was take it
And break it in two
I tried to sew it together
But the cut was made too deep
Every time I think of you
Throbbing pain burst open
The wound I try to conceal

If you pour your love upon it
It will begin to heal
But all I can do for now
Is keep yearning for you

I close my eyes, I see you
You star in all my dreams
I will wave my magic wand
Puff!
Darn, you are still there
A handsome tattoo etched on my mind
What can I do next? 
To make you disappear
To erase you from my life
I see you everywhere

The tears my eyes are shedding
Is nothing compared to the river
My waning heart is raining
My weeping heart is stained
With excruciating pain
If I was physically harmed
The doctor could patch me up 
The yearn I feel for you
Few will understand 


How did you reach in
So incredible deep
Each heart should come with a sign
“Fragile, easy to break
Handle with care!”
That could have saved me 
Nights of sleepless tears
But for now I must suffer
Yearning for you


Details | I do not know? | |

Hello/Goodbye

When You See Me I Say Hello
When I Leave You Say Goodbye.
How Then Did I Not Know My Hello
Would Be My Last Goodbye.
When The Phone Rings I Hope To
Hear Your Voice And Its Soft Tone.
But When It Rings I Hear Someone
And Its Not You How Could This Be.
Your Sweet Hello's Come To Me Like
You Never Left My Tears Start To Flow
When I Hang Up The Phone.
Hello/Goodbye I Often Cry For Your
No Longer Here What To Do Where 
To Turn.
My Tears Start Falling And My Heart
Burns Because Your No Longer
Here To Guide Me.
Hello/Goodbye I Just Don't Want To 
Cry But I'm Hurting Still My Life Will
Never Be The Same.
How To Deal? How To Cope?
I Just Think Of You And The Tears
Just Start To Flow.
Hello/Goodbye God Why Oh Why 
Did She Have To Die.    





Details | Rhyme | |

The Return

Promises made on the day he did depart.
After a  long wait in hell.
When his feet touched  familar soil they'd  make a new start.

But time is a empty partner indeed.
Nights turned to endless hours.
And in a moment of weekness  she did concede.

With time and regret so we do learn.
He saw no one waitting.
On the day of his return.

So many happy smilling faces none he did know.
Just strangers in another life.
He just a extra in the background of this  traggic show.

He knew the adress but couldnt reconize  the place.
many storms had passed.
But haunted was the look apon her face.

Tears  and regret over what she had and for
what she did yern.
Victems of time  tears but not of joy.
Shed apon  this sudden return.

Deep within the eyes  thoose old feelings 
almost did shine through.
A confession in pain.When she waved farewell
it was already threw.

A leason of  emptyness two former 
lovers did learn.
Passion like any flame dies.
Leaving only smoke and darkness
to greet you apon your return.


Details | Rhyme | |

You Already Knew

Life is short and so very precious
So how could you let 
An outsider come between us
He wasn't the person I thought him to be
I can't understand you 
Having anything to do with him
After what he had done to me
He broke my heart but you didn't care
That he just walked out 
And left me standing there
I wonder how you would feel
Had it been you
By the way you acted
It seems you already knew
That he was leaving
Even though I had no clue
He'd never be back
Did you know that too?
This must be why
It was no surprise to you


Details | Verse | |

Empty Church

The day the earth stood still, 
bells suspended in the tower, 
chimes froze in vacant space, 
nullified the hour. 
Her veil like spider web, 
stiff with Winter frost, 
hung upon the mannequin head, 
poignant and lost. 
His buttonhole carnation, 
a bullet wound lapel, 
blood red with cautious dying, 
in the dresser fell. 
And all the best laid plans 
unravel seam by seam, 
faint echoes in an empty church, 
never more to dream.


Details | I do not know? | |

Hidden truth

my tears cant tell my hidden scars
but my arms can
why isnt life everything i thought it would be?
some days im alright and others im soo unhappy
things always go wrong
buh i have my happy days
i remember laughing and smiling everyday
now its only once in   a while
well i always have my fake smile
and my real tears
my real pain
my real fears
even when it hurts
i can never tell you the truth
everything in my past
if only i could open up that part of me i know i can be
I love you very much
it hurts me to know i hurt you
and for that im sorry
when i look at you my heart falls for you over and over
in your arms is where i belong
its where i wanna be
where i know i will finally be truly happy


Details | I do not know? | |

I Want

I want to be the apple of your eye.
I want to be on your plate, your pie.
I want to be seen by you as first rate.
I want to be the main dish on your plate.
I want to be your rays of sunshine.
I want you over me to pine.
I want to be your favorite recipe.
I want to be to your lock the key.
I want to be queen of your universe.
I want not to be seen as everyone's worst curse.
I want  this not to be a big secret.
I want to say, I've loved you since we met.
I want you to feel the same way too.
I want to be very important to you.
I want to be someone you accept.
I want this not to be a difficult concept.
I want you to love me when I make mistakes.
I want you to heal all my hurts and aches.
I want your love, that I might survive.
I want to have our love thrive.
I want to be secure and not afraid.
I want to know that our love's heaven made.
I want to know a love that's true.
I want that love between me and you.
I want you to know, in all this I say.
I want to know, do you return my love today?


Details | I do not know? | |

what have i done?

My love for you lives on,
never to die.
We were perfect together,
you loved me more than any
one else has.
And I loved you more than any
one will.
I loved getting lost in
your eyes.
Sitting on your lap while
you held me.
Your gentle touch as you
brushed the hair from my face.
Loved how you made me feel special, 
never putting me down.
How I cared about everything, when
your were there.
Then I was all alone, missing
you. Missing your eyes, but finding
other eyes to look into.
What have I done? 
I've lost you, I will never find any
one to love as I loved you.
Just empty eyes to look into.
What have I done?
One moment of weakness for me,
and both of our lives are changed forever.
What have I done?
All I want, is to be able to look into
your eyes, once more.
To look into them and to see if you miss
me as I miss you.


Details | I do not know? | |

You're About To Lose

You're about to lose
The best you've ever known
With all your accusations
My trust you have blown

I am not the cheater
And I certainly wouldn't lie
Or go behind your back
This I justify

You've occupied your time
With negative thoughts of me
Keeping me behind closed doors
Under lock and key

There is no freedom
With you around
Because your thoughts
Are too profound

So if you love me
As you say
Don't control me
I might go away


Details | Free verse | |

your lies, my truth.

you tell me i am precious to you.
i am not your currency.
you tell me the circumstances are beyond our control.
but i control everything,
every breath,
every word that leaks from my mouth.
you made me this way,
shaped me from wax,
using knives and tears to make scars in my form.
you tell me you have loved me,
forever,
and until your dying day.
these words slither from your tongue.
you could never have loved me,
its not something thats easy to do.
you dont care what path my life takes,
you dont know what i have been forced into.
you dont want love,
you want control.
you don't want a daughter,
you want a follower.
i have accepted that i have no mother,
that i was created by life's sick fantasy.
i wanted to love you,
when there was still a chance.
so don't lie to me anymore,
don't tell me that it doesnt have to be this way.
it does.
dont thank god for me.
there is no god.
and i am just a curse,
because i hurt you.
you preach that you have room for me in your heart, that you think of me everyday.
and i think of you,
in the morning when i wake,
and in the night when i rest my head.
nothing can ever be easy,
or understandable.
in my heart, there are only cracks
and cobwebs where you might have been before.
it throbs and convulses, refusing love.
i couldnt love anyone,
not if i tried.
not if i wanted.


Details | Haiku | |

What's Left Of Our Love

broken dreams of bro-
ken skies where broken winged an-
gels no longer fly.


Details | Free verse | |

The Poison of Love

Love is a poison that kills the heart and soul, 
It forces the heart to yean for it's own death,
Beating faster and faster as the kiss poisons the body.

Love is a snake that coils through our system, 
Poisoning every organ, 
Crippling the brain, 

Love is the Memories.
They cry the poison,
It bleeds from the eyes of the hopeless,
It causes a summersault of pain that churns the stomach.

It's the gauche walk of the drunken lover,
The jealous want of the free life alone with
The one who poisoned you.

Warped thoughts menace those who stand
In your way from the poison addiction.

Dead and scared is the heart,
Black is the soul
When the poison is cleaned from the mind.

Evil is love and, oh, how it hurts
Never does the poison bring peace,
It is our Death.
Our downfall.


Details | Rhyme | |

THE ONLY ONE

Like the cuts of a million razor blades
   You've cut my heart to shreds
And though i'll never be the same
   My loving heart it bled

I knew you were the one for me
   So i let you in my heart
Then you lied, and tricked, and left me
   Which tore my living world apart

They say there's one for every soul
   And with you i found true love
Then you turned your back on me
   And God himself felt pain above

You had your plans, and played them well
   But this is what you'll learn
That although things did not work out
   That mine's a love that burns

There is no one upon this earth
   That will love you as i do
And maybe after all your games
   You'll find how i loved you

I'm the only one who loves you so
   The only one who'd care
And even if the years go by
   I'll still love you if you dare

I'm the only one who knows your heart
   And still i love you dear
And every minute you're away
   Mine bleeds another tear


Details | I do not know? | |

I HAD A DREAM YOU STOLE MY HEART

The December chill creeps around my bones 
My joints feel like crushed up stones 
I walk through the bittier cold night 
I really should not call you, but I just might 
 
My mind knows your poison, but my heart does not care
Life is full of pain, and you have given me my fair share
The walk is to get you out of my troubled head 
But you creep like the cold even when I’m alone in bed 
 
Sick and delusional that you’re my cure 
My mind won’t accept you don’t love me anymore 
So alone I walk, I walk until I fall 
The pain is so crippling and I will soon crawl 
 
An inch away from death is a million miles from home 
Now I only have this dessert sand I roam.  
I know I loved you to much 
 But your hold on my heart is such a strong clutch 
  Squeeze if you will until the blood won’t go through 
 
Do not stop until my heart stops 
I am so tired of loving you 



Details | Lyric | |

The Gift

I never had the chance to look into your eyes,
I guess you felt so much pain that you tried to hide,
All this love I was to give, it hurt my heart you lived,
For just a little while, The Gift, my only child,
Wish I could take back every thought that was against you,
Felt like it was my fault, I was stressin, I had issues,
The tissue, keep it comin, My tears they steady runnin,
This aint no normal something, through loss Im steady hummin.
mmmh, mmmh, mmmh,
mmmh, mmmh, mmmh,
I only see you when I look at photographs,
You came with much pain so we never had some laughs,
I was trying to get ready for you, so I could be a better woman,
But instead my heart grew heavy because, my gift, took his lil' lovin,
I know you are not alone, so many have gone on,
But mommas strong, and daddies gone...
To you this is my song....


Details | I do not know? | |

I am confused

you ripped my heart out and threw it on the floor
I don't know how to feel anymore
You twisted me into your lies and deception
I know I'm stronger then this,But i cant seem to get away
your touch is so unforgettable but regrettable 
your kisses are breath taking but destructive 
I love the things you say to me, even though its all a lie
some things feel so real, i don't know if i should believe you or leave you
And for some reason I'm stuck
you hurt me so much, but i keep coming back to you
And i don't know why i cant ever seem to get you off my mind
Your like a drug that i cant get off of
Everyone tells me to get away from you, but i can't 
You got me bound to your heart and your heart only,
I don't get why it cant be that way with you
You tell me you love me, 
but i wonder do you tell the others the same
My hearts tied in a knot,
restricting me from feeling anything but numb
I don't know what i want, the confusions growing deeper
Digging its nails into my skin
I sit and watch my tears fall to the floor,
As i wonder if you hurt the same
I need you, but i want to get rid or you
I want you, but i don"t
I love you, but i hate you
I am confused


Details | I do not know? | |

Discovery

A light shines through the haze
the sun shines through the fog
I can't seem to break the maze
I guess I'm just choking on the smog.

There is no right or wrong
It's all a big commotion
but I never really was that strong
just suffering from broken emotion.


Details | Free verse | |

Blossom

If I could, I would
     wrap you up 
tightly
     in the softest down
blankie
and 
rock your broken heart
      until you felt safely
protected and
      strong
      enough 
to open your eyes
   and know the tears
      that soak your world
         come from
God
     to
     water tender shoots
pushing up through despair and
confusion to
    seek
    the light
that
    softly glows in your heart
    and grows a tiny bit
       brighter
minute by
hour
    until there
at the corner of your lips
a slight tug
works
    so desperately to 
          grow into
              a ~
Blossom.

Love you, my fragile friend.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Believed

I believed in you
When no one else would
I never had a doubt
I always knew you could

I believed in us
When no else could see
How true our feelings were
How we were meant to be

I believed in faith
When things started to fall
I believed we'd overcome
I thought we could do it all

I believed I was dreaming
When you said we were through
But I believe what hurt the most
Was I believed in you


Details | Lyric | |

I Taught Her To Cry

{verse-1}
That pretty lady you were holding tonight
She used to be mine till I taught her to cry
You know those kisses she gave you last night
She learned that from me, I’m the other guy
And do you like the way she holds you so tight
Well that was me, I wasn’t very bright

{verse-2}
I had her giving all the love she could give
She laughed, she loved, till I taught her to cry
Guess I was wrong, the way I made her live
Then she learned something else, from some other guy
I’d just like to know, who taught her to lie
‘Cause when she did, I felt I could die

{chorus}
It was all me, who taught her those things
Taught her to love, Taught her to cry
Taught her to laugh, when she said good-bye
Just can't believe I taught her to cry

{verse-3}
Then she taught me to hurt, then taught me to cry
She taught me how, to just say good-bye
I lost it all, that night of the fight
Just can't believe, I taught her to cry
It was all me who taught her so well
Just can't believe, I taught her to cry

Repeat Chorus:


Written by: George Kenneth Martin

 Date: June 24, 2006


Details | Free verse | |

The Gingerbread Man

We lay side by side in the summer grass,
I reached for the gingerbread man kit
And lifted out a slightly crumbled biscuit,

Taking the tube, I iced a shaky smile onto its face,
Added big, hopeful chocolate drop eyes
And wrote 'I love you' down its front,

Then I handed it to her and said,
"This is me, take care of her,"
And she grinned and bit off its head.


Details | Free verse | |

The Love

The love was between me and you
dear god, what did i do,
to make you leave like that,
to make you leave so fast.
you told me we would always last
i believed you, how could i not
you said that, maybe you forgot,
we did everything together,
i believed we'd be forever.
Never separated also never lonely
I cant say all the love you showed me.
Calling you just to hear your voice,
I don't understand why you made that choice.
I always loved you so much,
yearning for just one touch.
Tears rushing to my eyes
to fulfill my lonely cries.
Worrying endlessly when you were mad
wondering what I did so bad.
I'll never stop loving you 
no matter what i ever do
you were my first love
you, there is no one above.


Details | I do not know? | |

Eternal

Waiting is like the dying embers of a fire
a neverending glow
a dimmed room full of desire
more than anyone will know.

A secret whispered in someones ear
a friend is lost for good
slowly becomes a rolling tear
my future is now understood.


Details | Rhyme | |

Daddy's Lost

Never being there hurt you so
Desiring to help me grow
Help my childhood progress
It made you feel worthless

What AM I taking about?
Cause day in day out
You missing me was a joke
You never loved what you broke

Another too lost and scared
Though I can’t say I never cared
And I can’t say I’m not sad
But even you should know dad

That never coming to see me
I dealt with to a tolerable degree
And that I’ll always question
When I’ll hear your confession

Will I ever get to see you dad
Or have I truly been had
I guess I have to wait some more
‘Cause it’s always you I’ll be looking for


Details | I do not know? | |

Know How It Feels

The ache in me cries out your name 
I long to see your face again 
A love for you in my heart glows 
Yet you hurt me so why I don’t know 
I must go on I know this to be true 
 I must learn to live without you 
But in the empty corners of my heart 
 Your memory’s there ripping me apart 
I feel my spirit and soul have died 
 Yet I know that’s not true for I still cry 
 Cry for a love that still burns 
 Cry for the painful lesson I have learned 
 You could never care for me 
You proved it by the way you hurt me 
I trusted you and called you friend 
 I see I was wrong again 
I hope you find a love someday 
And she walks from you in this someway 
 And the pain it leaves you and the despair you feel 
 Know you did it to me and know how it feels. 










Details | Rhyme | |

"FADE AWAY"

Anytime you want to be right here just imagine me and all this will appear, you 
can keep this moment all your life Forever near, a Dream worth keeping.

When your feeling lost, I'll be your Star, just reach out and touch me no matter 
where you are, in a world of Precious things are disappearing over night, just 
keep my Star inside.

I Believe we found a Dream made worth keeping for more then just a day, and 
even when the winds of change may come creeping it's still a Dream worth 
keeping, so don't let it "FADE AWAY"

Someday you might be thinking that life has passed you by, your spirit might be 
sinking with Hope in short supply, that's the reason why.

I know this Dream's worth keeping as long as it will stay, and even though you 
see the darkness that may come creeping it's still a Dream worth keeping, so 
don't let it "FADE AWAY".                                THE END


Details | I do not know? | |

Solitude

I sit alone in my crowded room of thought
nothing but blurred images of past and present to keep me company
in a spiders web I am caught
I am nothing but my own enemy.

Living in a world of love and lies
I can't escape the pain I feel
deep inside it's my heart that cries
a moments happiness dare I steal.


Details | I do not know? | |

As I Sit With Darkness

	As I sit here, not knowing what I fear most, myself or life.

	As I sit here not knowing if I'll ever be a normal person.

	As I sit here knowing people love me, but wanting to love them, but I 
	can't, because I can't even love myself.

	As I sit here knowing my love ones are suffering, because I'm 
suffering.

	As I sit here wishing I could be strong enough to over power what I 
	know is wrong and do right.

	As I sit here knowing that my name will be just a memory to people 
that 	know me and always think about the bad things I've done.

	As I sit here seeing darkness in everything I see.

	As I sit here not knowing if I see the world for what it really is or just
another miss guided person written off.

	As I sit here not knowing if my mind is just sick or just knows the truth.

	As I sit here I know that I sacrifice the happiness of loved ones for my 
thoughts.

	As I sit here I know I'm strong in one aspect. I will sit in darkness till 
it's my day to know the answers.

	As I sit here I'm sorry for my thoughts.


Details | I do not know? | |

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time you held my hand in the summer rain
Once upon a time you promised everything would always be the same
Once upon a time you said you will love me till the end of time
Once upon a time you vowed your heart forever would be mine
All these you said and more
But those promises were broken and are no more
Once upon a time I felt I had really found one who loved me
I would move heaven and earth if you asked me
But that was once upon a time long ago
Now you're someone I don't even know


Details | I do not know? | |

why does it hurt???

why do i feel like crying every nite when i go to bed ??
i thought that you loved me but i guess it was all a lie....
you were my life and my hopes.....
we arnt over yet but i feel like im losing you 
i feel like your slipping away and all i wanna do is scream and
cry but at the same time all i wanna do is be held in your arms and told i love you
but i really don't think that is gonna be happening anytime soon.
you tell me you love me and that you never wanna lose me but the way things are 
going i really wonder...
why do i feel like crying every nite when i go to bed?/?
its all because of you


Details | I do not know? | |

Crying So Hard I Was Screaming

I cried so hard I wanted to scream 
Your memory still brings bleeding tears to my cheeks
The thoughts of you, me, and us are killing me
Why cant the pain inside just be a bad dream.
I want to wake up in your loving arms 
But my eyes are closed by the tears of my heart.
Everything around me is crashing down
There’s nothing left for me to do but drown
I want to call your name with my last breath
But I’m screaming so loud that my breath is dead 

I was screaming so loud that I wanted to cry
I knew everything was over the moment u left my side
Hold me and tell me everything will be fine
Otherwise, blow out the flame that burns for you
And bury my heart in the deepest grave
Let me drown in a sea of bloody tears 
With the sound of my screams ringing through your ears.
Maybe then you’ll know that my love was real.

I’m screaming so loud that I’m crying 
And I’m crying so hard that I’m screaming
There’s nothing that can ever make this feeling subside.

				
  


Details | Rhyme | |

Swept Away

Mid afternoon, the sun slams down,
On the shifting sands of a coastal town,
The monument points with a gun to the sky,
The heat haze displaced by a seagull’s cry;
On the quay I sit and look out to sea,
At the distance between the horizon and me.

At a quarter to four I have not moved on,
Wearing haunted looks that I thrive upon,
An ice cream melts in a splitting cone,
Seeping through cracks to a twilight zone.
I take a deep breath and rise to my feet,
So cold and alone in the sweltering heat.

At the closing of day, the sun settles down,
The night muscles in on a coastal town,
I drift to the bar and the sea licks the walls
Of the harbour without where the darkness falls.
I look to the dusk for an answer or two,
But there’s no sign of life, and there’s no sign of you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Love Hurts

  
    I remember the first time you
    said you loved me 
    didn't want to believe
    but felt it was true
    had so many guys tell me
        they love me
    and the only one I believed
        was you
    For the first time I really felt special
    someone I loved, loved me back
    but now I could shoot myself
    for ever believing that
    I finally let my guard down
    only to be robbed of my pride
    I always was considered to
        be a tough girl
    but like a baby, I cried
    I cried for being stupid
    I cried for falling in love
    I cried for not thinking
    Yeah, this is what love does
         I fell so hard 
     But it only broke my heart
    so afraid to be in love again
    cuz I wouldn't know where 
            to start


Details | Sonnet | |

no more u in us

once there was you and then there was me, that made us you
 gave me your heart and I gave you my love ,
we lived and we laughed and we made plans this was us.
but you changed you acted strange and that is not for us.
you cheated and you lied and you abused my trust , that's why there is no u in us.


Details | Rhyme | |

Blood I Swallow

With blood shot eyes, I heed my own cries.
The taste of her will remain, killing the pain.
So much blood I swallow, on death's road I follow.
My ash blows away, yet by her side I stay.
The end is so near, but she still fights my fear.
There is still love, to the stars and above.
I lie in our bed, while she kisses my head.
Your cries for power, leave me to cower.
She said she's mine, we keep love in line.
Your so misguiding, with the time you are biding.
I just want her in my arms, but you have so many alarms.
I want to feel her kiss, thats something i will always miss.
Now I'm suffocating, while everyone is hating.
I will save her, of that I am sure.
She will save me, that is definantly.
We save eachother, away from lifes smother.
It's words of sorrow, that decline me tomorrow.
So much blood I swallow, leaves my heart hollow.
All these things I hate, leaves you so great.
Torn apart by my seams, misery kills my dreams.
Our life was in the right direction, yet sorrow still hangs on.
She starts to cry, I start to die.
You start to lie, I say goodbye.
I love her, I dont care if it is the right thing to do, but I'm sure.


Details | I do not know? | |

Ending

Everything in effort of ending
A life that I want to sell
There is nothing left upon the surface
But inside is something I know well

A boredom that will feed my anger
A place that I’ve seen before
I’d take myself from every answer
If it would take me to the arms of a whore

Her eyes whisper shadows of ending
A world that I just don’t need
My silence feeds her fear of falling
And my emptiness will make her bleed

A failed love for every person
A lie that I can still feel
I will stand before them with a happy smile
But I laugh at them as I steal

My parasite is still wanting an ending
Of a game that I love to play
The murderer and angel want to sleep now
And my boredom has nothing to say


Details | Free verse | |

TRUE LOVE...

It is the one I want, 
that my heart does haunt.
Even though I can not have, 
the one I hold near and dear, 
they always make me laugh.
They do not spurn me; 
all they do is make me feel free.
Though I know who I want, 
they always seem to try to taunt.
I can not have them this I know, 
I still seem to love them from head to toe.
It is for some time, 
my love I try to hide.
But now my obsession grows so strong, 
I do not know if my heart can hold out for long.
So some how my heart I must break, 
or something else my love and heart must take.
For I know them very well, 
I wish they would at least, 
make my heart hurt like hell.
Because they can not return my love, 
I will try to pray for help from above.
I truly care for them, 
so I can not go to take, 
them away from who they date, 
so now I put my whole self at stake.
Even though my love they won't return, 
I really wish then my heart would burn.
I really fear that some time soon, 
I will be emotionally ruined, 
and that to be my doom.


Details | Quatrain | |

Frozen Farewell

Frost bit lovers 
standing in the snow
Trying not to trust
what the other seems to know
Parting in the cold 
seems a fitting thing to me,
Opened up their aching hearts
and let their love fly free.


Details | Quatrain | |

For You...My Friend

I get the silent phone calls.
I know she's on the line.
Why don't you be a man for once
and choose her home or mine?

You say I must be crazy
because I do accuse...
You must have forgotten
how much I have to lose.

I've given you the better part
of my unhappy life.
Why can't you just be satisfied
with me being your wife?

Have I made you be unfaithful?
Do I not fulfill your needs?
Or is it just your selfishness
that makes you do such dirty deeds?

I'll get the strength to leave you,
and believe me...when I do,
You'll Pay for all the pain you've caused
when she does the same to you!


Details | I do not know? | |

When

When will this hurt go away
When will I bravely face each new day
You've been gone for some time
Yet it seems like you're still here in my mind
The memories and moments we shared
Are still alive and at times the pain is so hard to bear
Just the mention of your name
Lights up my soul with a never ending flame
But now it's time to move on
To forget the past and admit you are gone
When will this hurt go away
Not for a long time but maybe one day


Details | Free verse | |

MANY JUST LIVE MEANINGLESS LIVES...

Many just live meaningless lives...
not caring a bit for others,
and devine goodness 
is not found in them; and when they''die:
nobody will remember them...mourn or cry!

While I'm living,I'll make sure:
I will love and be loved by others,
and my kindness will flow like a rich river...
until it finds the widest ocean!
I will resist to be tempted by iniquity,
and put a stronghold between me and lechery,
because it caused me much grief before...
and tried to destroy me along with my mission!

Many just live meaningless lives...
wasting them away, worrying about the world's cares;
retaining old habits...treading a path:
trampling, instead of walking upright!
Many just live meaningless lives,
living in fear...daunted by perils,
because they don't live by faith,
but by any means of contempt and unrighteousness!

If thoughts and greedy ways 
are meant to please others,
not giving you perfect choices, 
take them out of your actions...
look up and believe you can change everything
for the sake of salvation,which is free and fulfilling!
 
Many just live meaningless lives,
and wait for good luck to bring them riches;
what's missing in their worthless lives
can't be replaced by them,
but by a spiritual transformation... 
as shrewd as intuition!   


Details | I do not know? | |

Delusions Of Love

I gave my heart, my spirit, my soul
Yet you took my essence but the emotions you returned with false and cold
My love for you was honest and true
Yet there one thing you couldn't give me was you
Blinded by this need in me for that bond
Delusions of a love that would go on and on
And so my heart is left with loneliness and despair
Yet you don't care
The wisdom I learned it in a painful process
I still search for the answer to this dilemma that makes no sense
I place this on a higher plane
Seeking the answer from a Superior Being
I ask just why had it happened to me 


Details | I do not know? | |

Fog of My Heart

I ran away from people just to be alone,
Simply because of the hate I'd been shown.

Trying so hard to hide my heart, my hurt, and my pain,
This only caused my heart to be surround by fog and rain.

I didn't care, I only wanted to hide my heart away,
From all the people who'd steal it, only for a day.

Until I realized it wasn't people who were this way,
It was me, and I found I really had nothing left to say.

Finally I let my heart out just for it take a brief jog,
And I told it to stop when you touched it through the fog.

So I asked you why feeling is bleeding,
Also why is it that bleeding is believing.

There you left me bleeding, believing, and crawling on the floor,
Wondering what every single person has to be so deceitful for.

And now I am bleeding, and broken, and torn all apart,
Because you went and shot me through the fog of my heart.


Details | I do not know? | |

Why Did You Tell Me "I Love You?"

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
A knee-jerk birthed of fear? 
A pandering to my ego? 
Words I wanted to hear? 

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
Later "I don't think I do?" 
A whimsical slash of cruelty? 
Ambiguous through and through? 

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
Then argue the point for hours? 
Bicker, snap and grow sullen? 
Destruction of hearts and flowers? 

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
Then erase every tangible clue? 
Maybe you told me for fun? 
Maybe because it was true? 

Why did you tell me "I love you?" 
To mean life and death to me? 
If you please to confirm the truth 
What a wonderful life this could be.


Details | I do not know? | |

When I close my eyes


When I close my eyes 
I see us together 
Wrapped in a warm loving embrace
You are kissing me
You are caressing me
Our hearts beating as one
Time seems to be standing still
You are loving me again
No other fills your heart
You whisper in my ear
“Baby I am sorry for everything
You are the only one that I want and love”
My heart skips a beat 
As tears roll down my face
God has sent you back to me
I open my eyes
And you are gone and no longer there
No longer mine
For you love and are with another
Tears run down my face 
As reality sets in again
My heart and mind shredded and shattered once again
Pain and heartbreak consumes me
I reach out for the only thing that remains of you
Your pillion, you scent lingers there
I hold it tight to my chest
It is all that I have left of you along with the memories
I wish the vision I see when I close my eyes was real
I pray to God for him to send you back to me
To make you mine for the rest of time






Details | Rhyme | |

Never Taken Away

They've taken my knives,
they've taken my pills,
so I look at you
and my pain refills;
they can take the razors
they can take the beer
but as long as you live
I'll have monster and pain adhere.
Let them take what they want
but they can't keep me alive
because, while you hold her
all the damage I do to myself, thrives.
They can take away the glass,
the mirrors from the walls,
but while you are in my memory
I will walk haunted halls.
Let them take what they will,
for no one here can see,
as long as he lives
I'll have something to hurt me.


Details | Blank verse | |

All I Wanted To Say

All I wanted to say was…
and then like frost upon moonlit logs
thrown upon a winter fire,
the words melted in my mind,
evaporated on my tongue,
vapour in the night.

All I wanted to say was…
and as condensate on panes of glass
before the sweep of cloth,
the essence wiped from thought,
dried upon my lips
sheer transparency.

All I wanted to say was…
and the waves rolled on the silver sand,
filled the letters up with brine,
the symbols hidden in dreams,
ebbed out of my skull,
surfing in retreat.

All I wanted to say was…
don’t leave this way, don’t go,
I love you for eternity,
yet the words would not form or flow,
then I couldn’t say in time,
and now I said too late…


Details | Free verse | |

Finals

A stalking moon comes
riding
on mount of silver
     and
     blue
     metallic
shimmering
     beckoning
shadows colliding
with
      imagined imaginings
and
      impassioned words
spoken to
      look
          like you
rhyming
with
the glow of
     lightening dark
         pale
            dawns
shivering in
twilight unmasked
as
a
     hollow
     exchange
that
bounces from
     here to there
         and
     wonders
         how the connection
grew so
weak
and
      unenduring
when
      plastic care
became
      so unassuring
and
     deaf and dumb
came    
     crawling
              droning
so
      enough became
           too much
to hear
and
flat tone
       came alive
to
       animate my screen
in hurried
dutiful
   replies
      evenly spaced to
          reflect
               time better spent
                    elsewhere.


Details | Free verse | |

Love, I Hate You

Love, I hate you, 
Not ‘cos you’re ugly.

Love, I hate you, 
Not ‘cos you don’t love me.

Love, I hate you,
‘Cos of your great love to me.

Love, I hate you, ‘cos of it; 
A listener, you don’t want to be.
.
You heeded not what I said, 
Even thou, I beg you, to “back off!”

“Now, Look!
You see… what we’ve done!?”

A soul is in grieve, 
‘Cos of us.

With your love, 
My soul cries, too.

Love, I hate you, 
For intoxicating me, with your potion.

Thou, you know…
I am a married man.



Details | I do not know? | |

SORRY

I try to give you everything and make you happy
Why cant things be the way they used to be
Like when we first met you were full of joy and laughter
I loved you so much apparently I'm not the one you were after
I'm sorry
I fell in love with a person who doesn't want me 
Why cant things be the way they used to be
I'm sorry
I stay away and visit once in awhile
When I'm there you tell me you miss me 
And you're happy happy to see me
I'm sorry
Then you leave me empty and full of agony
Left to suffer with so much pain
I wanted to slit my wrists  and let it fall like rain
 Draining all the hurt and pain away
I'm sorry
Instead I shut my feeling off and kept everything bottled up inside
Not daring to show people the things i hide
This is how i get treated for loving you 
Someday your time will come maybe it already has
And that's your excuse for not loving anyone 
I'm sorry
So you go through life not caring about anyone but yourself
Building your own personal prison going through hell
Open up and love someone
Everyone needs someone even if its not me
I'm sorry
You shut me out and your feelings go away
I'm left here with so much pain
You made me experience what you have been through
Tearing myself apart
Shutting people out not knowing what to do
It was killing me without a doubt 
Now i know what this is all about
I'm sorry
I was left so many years shattered
My heart was torn ripped and tattered  
Like a piece of china that was left unnoticed till it mattered
I'm sorry
 Well i will find some one who loves me back
She wil tare down my wall no turning back
I will love her and she will love me
I'm sorry
I'm happier than iv ever been she will make me whole
Loving you was not that bad of a toll
You made me shut people out
Waiting for what seemed like eternity 
Till i will finnd true happiness my destiny
I will ask her one day to marry me
I'm sorry
It still hurts me to see you living in the dark
Like a lost child wandering around lost in the park
Searching for your own happiness sorry it wasn't me
This is how it was meant to be
I'm sorry
One day i know you will find happiness
When you find it you will know what to do
Just don't abuse it hold on caress it and don't let go
If you have feelings for someone let it show
Don't hold it in and he wont let go
I'm sorry
I feel bad for not being able to do more for you
Because I have experienced what you are still going through
But one day it will  be OK stop being selfish and it will go away


Details | I do not know? | |

The place you put me in

As I sit here in the middle of our bed
I stair at my med bottles
Tears streaming down my face
My heart laying at my feet
Shattered and broken into a zillion pieces
My thoughts so confusing
My emotions ragging out of control 
And so overwhelming
My vision so unclear
Hurt and pain engulf my body
This hell I am in here and now 
Is all because of you
Everything you taught me now destroyed 
Trust broken
Heart shattered 
World destroyed
This hell is becoming almost to much for me to bare
I am trying to be fair to everyone
I am trying to be strong
But without you I don’t know if I can survive 
You say I did nothing wrong 
How can the be
When your love for me is gone
I don’t know what to do or say
For you to change your heart and mind and stay
No matter what I do or say 
I am the one who hurts and looses
This pain keeps hurting more and more each day
My love for you will always remain
There are only two ways I see to end this awful hurt and pain
One for you to come back to me and love me again
Two to end this hurt, pain and suffering for good
To take all my meds and walk away to die on my own
The first unfair to you
The last unfair to our children
I pray that the good Lord watches over me
And shows me another path
For I am afraid that I will end this pain for me 
Only to cause a lifetime of hurt and pain for our children


Details | Free verse | |

Un

Don’t you dare
   think
of
   leaving me with
the mess of you
to
unknow the heart of
you
to
unlearn the soul of
you
to
untie the strings of
us
to
attempt to defy
the laws of
nature


Details | Verse | |

Love Is Unlike...

Love is unlike the game of chess, 
as time moves on it matters less, 
in absence, fonder grows the heart 
of someone else less far apart. 

The pressure fades upon the will, 
and like a blue remembered hill 
idealised in childhood ways 
is bare remembered nowadays. 

Emotions stray and gravitate 
to other souls when time grows late 
and vows once made with ease are broke, 
"I love you" with fresh glibness spoke. 

Is this the way it ends for us, 
no bang, no whimper, mess or fuss; 
just simple gasps, forgotten sighs 
and flecks of storm cloud in our eyes.


Details | Rhyme | |

Grim Fairytale

Of stunted dreams
and lying schemes
on sand the castle stood
       	~~~
through windows slit in deep stone walls
no light be found within
the moldy, moody corridors
resound with deafening din

she dreams of love forsaken
and feeds them to the birds
who keep her from insanity
silent whispers without words

she spends her time with puzzles
in the dungeon dank and dark
digging for missing pieces
of her torn and scattered heart

one day the gates will open
the lock will rust and fall
she’ll step into the sun
and not look back at all


Details | Lyric | |

Teach Me How To Love

I was born beautiful
But…deformed by men
Lead me the way… 
To humanity


Details | Rhyme | |

Melting Of The Stone

the prisons and the dust storms 
slip away, 
dissolving out of sight beyond the closing 
of the day;
and who alone believed how I could
make it anyway?
or if my tracks would fill with dusk in a 
silent shadow-play.

as the city lights come on and 
light the dark,
my spirit wanders through the streets  
and to the park;
and though my skin is free of scars it
bears the mark,
from the bladed sweep of facts writ 
cold and stark.

and as I fall beside the statues 
in the rain,
beside the cenotaph that’s dripping 
down the drain;
and in the melting of the stone 
I can’t explain,
the bloody nature and intent
of love and pain.


Details | Rhyme | |

Disarray

Come slip
beneath
   my skin
where time has
   lost
   its mind
where
angles slew askew
   toward chaos
close behind
where
   up
   sees
   hope
that
   down
betrays
   left
standing
unaware
that
   right
goes toward
the
   light
and
   dark
collects despair


Details | Quatrain | |

Tear in the Hourglass

A tear in an hourglass
so slowly it falls
a sorrow for every dream
that lay shattered against the wall.

So fragile is such a thing
that withers in part
what sadness she brings
in broken heart

Doth do we cringe
bent on broken knee
wounded in love
wounded by thee

Dulled is the sword
that had swung with such force
splintered is the shield
but the heart injured worse

All heroes are slain
killed in passionate war
every heart breaks
to love nevermore



Details | I do not know? | |

Again

How'd I let this happen again
How stupid can I be
I should of seen it coming
This always happens to me
I tried not to care about you
I had learned that much from the past
But this time I couldn't help it
My feelings were growing so fast
At first I kept my feelings in
Thinking they would just go away
But as hard as I tried to convince myself
I knew they weren't going away
I contemplated telling you or not
I thought about it for weeks
I finally decided to let you know
I shouldn't of been so weak
What was I thinking
Telling you all that
I guess hoping you'd feel the same
Now I wish I could take it all back
But what good would that do
It wouldn't change a thing
I'd still be in love with the perfect guy
Who only wanted a short fling
You were everything I ever wanted
You were beautiful inside and out
To think I was ready to give you my whole heart
I thought you were it, I had no doubt
But to my surprise 
You were just like the rest
You played me and used me 
And you didn't care less


Details | I do not know? | |

Is There a Chance

Feelings of pain and sorrow- 
	There's a new tomorrow,
Loving him still
	These feelings are real,
I'll never let go
	These feelings I'll show.

I have a great fear 
	And it only brings a tear
For someone so dear
	Has left and gone
My love still grows strong!

She longs to tell him
	To have and to hold him
To say - I love you
It's all up to you.

Is there a chance? 
	Is love still there?
These feelings to share
	A love to enhance
I love you
 Will you give us a chance?


Details | Free verse | |

I saw you

I saw you in a dream I never had
sitting on a bench
in a depressing slouch
face strangeld with tears

I saw you in the days that are gone
swept away in the receding tide
during the duration of a colorless setting sun
a sad song sung that day

I saw you in the tears I've never shed
screaming to break free
desspretely seeking shelter from the storm
regret stabs at a broken heart

I saw you a thousand times today
though not figureaitve
a fatigued source of thought,
conspires against the truth

I saw you in the eyes of the others
heard your voice above theirs
as I wished that they were you,
my perfect painted picture was destroyed


Details | Lyric | |

105

105
105
I just hit 105
Am I alive?
Am I alive?
Driving in rage at 105
Run away
Run away
Leave behind this day
105
105
I can’t escape going 105
A lonely heart
still falls apart
No matter how fast you go


Details | I do not know? | |

Why didn't We Last

He broke my heart,
and left me to die.
Sitten here in the dark
I ask myself, why?

I think about the past,
what all we went through.
Why didn't we last?
What wrong did i do?

You told me you loved me,
I thought it was true.
Can't you see?
The liar was you.

It's over now,
I'll be o.k.
but i wonder how...
I'll last another day.

I loved you baby,
I love you still...
I always have,
and i always will.


Details | I do not know? | |

I'm Sorry

I want to say I'm sorry,
for everything I've done.

I want to say I'm sorry,
and drop him like the setting sun.

I want to say I'm sorry,
I want to have some fun.

I want to say I'm sorry,
but I'd really like to run.

I want to say I'm sorry,
this feeling weighs a ton.

I want to say I'm sorry,
but it's to late the day is done.


Details | I do not know? | |

Run & Hide

I won't leave a letter, no nothing at all,
I wont be around when you let out your call,
I can't believe how bad you've treated me so long,
So now I will run and hide to prove you were wrong.

What can you want from me that you didn't already take,
If I could have realized from the start that you were fake,
Perhaps there would be enough of me to consider myself whole,
So much you took, I'm running away and I can still feel the pull.

Yes I couldn't seem to recognize,
When I took a look into your eyes,
All the deceit that I could see,
Coldly staring right back at me.

So I guess it's going to have to hurt,
Yeah I guess I'm going to have to cry,
You know I can't possibly do this alone,
Yet you didn't care and had to say goodbye.

Looking back you gave it all away,
And somehow you can blame me today,
Some wounds time will never erase,
So I throw away what I can't replace.

Now I will run and hide until memories fade away,
I look eagerly forward to when we end this fray,
And I will leave behind a love that was so strong,
Lying and saying I never cared for you all along.


Details | I do not know? | |

Now I Have To Pretend

Now I have to pretend
That we never even met
That you never stole my heart
And that on love I never bet
I must pretend that I don’t know you
That I can’t recognize your face
That you never used your fingers
On my body lines to trace
I deny we talked forever
Try to forget you in my bed
Get rid of all the things you gave me
Especially those in my head
Go back to before I even met you
March 22nd to be exact
Should have refused you when you asked me
Maybe then I’d still be intact
So, I must walk by you with my head down
No looking up to catch your eye
And we’re strangers once again
Yes, we’re strangers you and I


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost In Space

I wander alone and feel shame, 
The empty Broadway calls, 
In the dirty neon streets 
Desolation descends, befalls.

I ponder alone and her name 
Rabbit punches in my head, 
That she writhes in cuckold sheets 
With someone else instead.

Nothing is ever the same, 
Drink and think the worst, 
A temporal pulse it beats 
In rhythm and tempo cursed.

I wander lost and grow lame 
In spaces yawning wide, 
Memory loops and repeats 
Tormenting deep inside.

Still, I can manage to claim 
I mastered her abyss, 
Plucked victories out of defeats 
And know now what she is.

In winning he lost the game, 
For I took her easy as pie, 
He belongs to the queen of cheats 
Until he may wise-up and die.

Until then I will remain
Waiting for justice to own
The turning tide she meets
When she reaps everything she has sown.


Details | Lyric | |

Untitled

It’s no gain to waste all this pain.

A disgrace to not always hide this face.

My mind is lame, and it’s a shame,

to feel so numb and not be dumb.

I hate to say life’s not always been this way.

It’s an outrage that I ever lived outside this cage.

Apathy works best for me.

Cold-hearted to myself, the cheaply departed.

Sadness makes me the happiest. 

My loneliness makes me feel so blessed.

This bitter resentment fills me with contentment.

My biggest folly ever was delaying this melancholy.

However this ailment is reaching my fulfillment,

Leaving me empty, sad, happy and whole.

My bitterness is such bliss.

A feeling that I would surely miss.

I often lament evading this torment.

This suffering is the greatest thing ever.

I frequently regret never being upset.

Now I daily look forward to the sorrow that’s promised by tomorrow,

and I pray it comes each and everyday.

Without its displeasure I cannot carry on,

for it is my greatest treasure.


Details | Verse | |

Emerald Eyes

In the grasp of green demons the dissolute lie,
Lost with phantoms of absinthe and smoke,
On an opium trail chasing dragons all night,
Stricken utterly wasted and broke;
When I look to the rooftops and blurrily see
Jagged vistas that tear at the skies,
In the dreary old soot of this dreary old town
I dream of your emerald eyes.

I will always remember the thrill of your face,
Such a vision of beauty and life,
And the words that you spoke echo into my mind
Lacerate like the blade of a knife;
I hear as you whisper from darkness to me
When before I had taken no heed,
“If you live by the sword then you’ll die by the sword,”
You intone as my heartbeats recede.

I have travelled this world so far and so wide,
For the wonders my eyes would behold
I took them for granted, such as my own breath,
And my scurrilous soul I have sold;
Now my days they are reaching their desolate end,
Numbing pain that the opiate defies,
And the singular comfort bestowed on me now
Are my dreams of your emerald eyes.

So forgive me my failings, absolve me of sin,
As the lifeblood evolves into dirt,
I was never as worthy as you seemed to think,
Just a vessel of hunger and hurt;
And I know that the vision I take to the grave
As the nighthawk defiantly cries,
Is the only salvation that lays me at peace,
Are my dreams of your emerald eyes.


Details | Lyric | |

Make It Go Away

Can I kill the pain today?
Just make it all go away?
Can I breathe again today?
Just make it all seem so far away?
Yesterday is over
The past is dead
Why is it so hard to get that through my head?
All the sleepless nights spent thinking about you,
and how you made me smile
All the sleepless nights spent wishing
that you could have stayed for just awhile


Details | I do not know? | |

Madness

Bottled beer,
couch for a bed.

Neon signs,
blinking in red.

My heart is heavy,
with shadows cast.

My head hangs low,
with thoughts of the past.

The sun does shine,
warming the heart of another.

Dreaming of the image,
of a long, lost lover.

Time and times,
have taken their toll.

Overwhelming feelings,
of sadness and woe.

My head rings loud,
with thoughts of madness.

But in my heart,
there's only sadness.


Details | I do not know? | |

Broken memories

Memories seep into his mind
He searched for love
She was all he would find
She wasn't everything he thought she would be
Instead a girl with a complicated mind
She broke his heart
He broke hers
They vowed to forgive and forget
Make a new start
The memories still lingered in his broken mind
All that could heal them was time
She realized that she may have lost her only one
He was supposed to be her solace
Her stars and her sun
He was her sweet guidance through the rough times
He was supposed to be the one
She loved him with a love that was never so true
She broke his heart in ways he only knew
He made a promise to never say goodbye
Now he wasn't sure
Shes left with her tears to cry
A promise that might be stolen
A heart that is still broken




Details | I do not know? | |

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU

DON’T LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE EYES.
IT HURTS TO SEE YOU CRY.
IT EVEN HURTS WHEN YOU TURN AWAY.
LISTEN PLEASE TO WHAT I SAY.
I CAN’T SAY IT ANY OTHER WAY.
I DO CARE ABOUT YOU
IT’S TRUE.
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU.
NOT THE SAME WAY YOU DO.
I DIE CAUSE I HURT YOU.
I’VE BEEN AROUND AND HURT PROFOUND.
NOW THAT I’VE FOUND YOU I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I AM SINSERE,
BUT WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE.
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU.
I DO CARE ABOUT YOU.
I DIE CAUSE I HURT YOU.
I NEED YOU.
I WANT YOU.
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU,
NOT THE SAME WAY YOU DO.


Details | I do not know? | |

Frozen Silent

In silence she travels and walks through the haze.
Abundantly thinking; she’s no longer amazed.
For the world has stood frozen; her hairs woven like thread.
The world has stood frozen… lifeless… and dead.
But still she will wonder and travel her path.
Time measured by distance.
Silence withers her wrath.
So silent the silence she desperately seeks;
So loud is the silence … she no longer speaks.


Details | Lyric | |

Pictures

I burned the pictures
Every one of you and me
The love notes and teddy bears
Yes, I burned everything

I destroyed all the evidence
And all you left behind
But as I sleep, I'm haunted
By the pictures in my mind

Every 'I love you'
Every time we laughed
All the whispered words
It all comes rushing back

Drowning in the memories
Left unhealed by time
And resurrected nightly
By these pictures in my mind

My pillow, the only witness
Of tears that fall like rain
And silent sobs that echo
With guilt, fear and shame

Denial keeps me going
And refuses to see the signs
Believing all is well
With these pictures in my mind

The days pass so quickly
With never a thought of you 
But day slips into dusk
And with the darkness, there is always you

With every day's new dawning
I wake hoping to find
That with the next moon's rising
I'll be rid of these pictures in my mind

I hope, I wish, I pray
Somewhere, someplace, sometime
To finally find the flame
That burns these pictures in my mind


Details | I do not know? | |

What I Miss

Is there a place for the broken hearted
Away from the pain and loneliness
Is there hope for a tormented soul
That longs again to be whole
I have searched far and near
But the place I seek is not here
For only here I am lost and alone
With no spirit to live or carry on
It wasn't always like this you see
I once had it all and now it's gone from me
I can't live in the days that are forever gone
They are in the past and life goes on
And so I search for a place to be once again free
Where others have gone to escape such misery
But it seems there is no place as this
And so I sit a cry for what has been lost and how it's missed


Details | I do not know? | |

You've sealed your fate

Never to be trusted
Never to be loved
Never means never 
Enough is enough 

How many times where you warned before?
How many times did they threaten to lock the door?
Stereotypical black locked up in the system 
Lack of common sense and absolutely no wisdom

Caught up in the game and because of your pride 
You fail to see the hurt, pain and shame you see inside 
Your colour sees you as a typical disgrace 
What are you goanna to do?

Your future you can’t even begin to contemplate 
What’s done is done you sealed you fate 



Details | I do not know? | |

hallucination

i love you
the instant you spoke those words
my senses shook
as the sight of a cool spring in the desert sand
i wanted to drink until my belly imploded  with satisfaction
those words held much power over my life
but were plucked away
corrupting my once blue oasis
into a septic pit of suffocating pain
you extend your hand to save me
and i do not reach for it
i dare not reach for it


Details | Rhyme | |

Heart

I try my best not to think of you

I tell my heart that we are through

But I can't help the way I feel

So I'm gonna step up and keep it real

I miss all the time that we spent

I miss every text message that you sent

I think of the nights we were together

Assuming our love would be forever.

I guess forever was too long to stay

And I hate that you made me feel this way.

I can't say that I was dumb or naive

Because that's something not even I believe

Our love was strong just in different stages

And we're in the same book but on separate pages

So I can't hold a grudge against my ex-boo

I just wrote this letter to remind you

That there was only one player in this game

And it's called love so he's to blame

But a place in my heart will always be

Here for the one I thought loved me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Why

I do not understand,
           Why he likes her,
           Why he ask her out,
           Why I cry,
But most of all I do not understand,
           Why we stop being friends,
           Because of her,
What I understand most,
           Is he,
          Because I like him


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Choice

I don’t know where I’m supposed to go, or who you want me to be
Would it be better if I were twenty pounds lighter, or a little bit more carefree?
What if I stop caring, or making phone calls to you at night?
Would you ask me what was going on, would you put up a fight?

I’m confused because it seems like you just don’t care
What am I supposed to do, sacrifice without allowing what is fair?
I want to be able to ignore that maybe you don’t want me as your own?
Really, be honest, have your feelings even grown?

I view you as a good man, with a heart and ambition for life
And I’m not asking for forever or even to be your wife
But I do know I deserve affection and simple courtesy
If your intentions are not the best, merely leave me be


Details | I do not know? | |

Emptiness

I can't seem to hide,
all this emptiness inside.
It's tearing me to pieces,
ripping me at the seams.
Doing it's best to keep me,
from accomplishing anything.
Can't seem to think straight,
or keep my mind still.
When all I really want to do,
is sit and talk with you.
Instead I sit here with nothing,
but emptiness for you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Running

The faith I have for you and me,
is running thin and dry.
This love we share is coming to an end,
and it makes me ache and cry.
I think about the times we shared, 
and the memories that we've made.
The times of laughter and of love,
the memories that have begun to fade.
You make me hurt, 
and you make me cry.
I remember when you told me,
you'd never be that kind of guy.
Now our time if running out,
and I know that it's to late.
To late to say your sorry,
or take back your words of hate.
I'm tired of these tears,
and I'm tired of the pain.
I'm over it I'm done,
I realize that my faith has been in vain.


Details | Acrostic | |

Who Are You

 How dare you take advantage of me like that ,
Leaving me stranded with no way to go forward or back.
   Using the friendship that we had led me to believe,
That there was trust and honor between you and me .
   How you layed me aside and left me for dead ,
You have caused these hateful thoughts inside my head.
   Never could I have done this to any man , 
I can see you have no concious so I know you can.
  There just one thing I really want to say  about this ,
It's been a long time since I have made a clinched fist .
  You have no idea how much hurt you have caused,
It won't be me you'll have to face That's up to God
   But you will regret mistaking this kindness for weakness girl,
Bad Karma will surely consume you this is my word.
   Yes you were able to catch me completely off gaurd ,
Never again because now I know who you are .
TAC


Details | I do not know? | |

A prayer for my sister

Dear Lord I come as humble as I may
Asking you to give my little sister strength
That she will need to make it thru the day.
I know the road ahead of her is going to be tuff 
give her faith in knowing that in you God she can trust

I know it’s not easy for her and she’s going thru so much
I ask that you give her guidance Lord and let her feel your 
Loving touch

I can’t begin to imagine the pain she must feel 
But when I look into my sisters eyes the hurt 
Is all to real

So Lord I come to you as humble as I may
Asking you to give my little sister strength to make 
thru the day


Details | Narrative | |

He Loved You

He loved you too, you know
Loved you like his very own
In away you were
You came into his life as my friend
Through the years you grew to be my brother in arms 
Along the way you became the son he never had

He loved you as a friend
He loved you even more as a son
A son he never had
When things began to spiral out of control
You stayed when so many others ran away
You helped when I couldn’t

You meant a great deal to him
You never looked at him differently 
Nor did you treat him differently
You stood by his side
When he fell, you stood by his side and mine
You were willing to help me fight his battle for him 
You were there from the beginning 
You were there until the bitter end
Always remember my friend, my brother
He loved you more than you’ll ever know


____________________________________________________________
Dedicated to close Family friend Rodney Howard. He loved my Daddy just as much as I did/do.


Details | Salaam | |

Yeh khaalipan


Jab Meri Bechaini Mit Jayegi
Jab Mere Dilko Sukoon Mil Jayega
Yeh Khaalipan Mit Jayega

Do Pal Ki Chandni Ke Liye
Aj Bhi Zinda Hoon Main
Meri Khaamoshi Ke Ageh Aasmaan Bhi Khatam Ho Jayega

Kehne Ke Liye Toh Roz Marta Hoon Main
Thoda Aur Marne Ke Liye
Yeh Deewana Kal Phir Ayega


Details | Rhyme | |

You Were The Best Mother,




Details | Rhyme | |

Put a bullet in my brain

Put a bullet in my brain
as the rain sweeps her out of my arms
and places her into another's.
Put a bullet in my brain
for I don't want to see love slip away
please end my suffering,
for I don't want to dare see her in the arms of another man.

I fear the tear that slips away from my soul
and touches the ground with a splash
as she is washed away by the lashed memories of the rain,
please, someone put a bullet in my brain.

I can't bear to see her with another man
laying in his arms
as he charishes her beauty
just like I did to her.
As she smiles and laughs at his jokes
my heart would not bare the sorrow and pain
that would tare my heart apart into pieces of tainted love.
Please tell the rain to stop,
as the pain grows when rain comes down,
please someone end my suffering,
put a bullet in my brain
and stop the rain
that washes away every memory of her.

Stop saying you miss me
and just kiss me
for I can't take the pain
of the rain that takes you away.
Kiss me and stop saying you miss me
for those are useless words to me.
Love is where it's at, so show me.
Don't go with him, he'll treat you wrong.
Love and laugh with me till the break of dawn
as we yawn the long night away.

Kiss me and don't say you miss me.
For if you go away from me,
I couldn't bare to take a tear and waste it away.
Tears, sweet tears crying for you,
doesn't that mean anything to you?
I ask you, stop the rain,
stop the pain and put that bullet in my brain.

Let the red blood flow from my temples.
Let the plow dig my grave,
for I can't bare to see you with another
in his arms, him kissing you, where I kissed you.
I can't take it, I have to make it,
make that pain go away.
Prayer didn't help, God turned a blind eye
when I came up and said why!
Put that bullet in my dome
and when I lay in the coffin, looking at the roof of the church
you come and kiss me, and then you can really say
that you'll miss me.


Details | Italian Sonnet | |

Dream Forever

Thee, are my deepest emotions; taken beyond; my control.
Thou do express love; sweeter; than view of sunshine.
One single touch, from you, feels so fine.
No thoughts of your face would ever console.
Desires; that when I see you, I fight to control,
My heart; is blinded by numbers more than nine.
My soul is bound to you with more than twine.
Thee taketh my senses, beyond, compression of coal.

My blustery habits; are taken; when I see thee, with him.
Coal contracts to brilliant diamonds from pressure, we are told.
My heart aches for thou, under the pressure of seeing his kiss.
No brilliancy of any treasure shines; only a full moon goes dim.
My desires are real; though they have no growth; in gold.
Thee, shall be my dream forever, though I shall have no bliss.


Details | Rhyme | |

OPPOSITE SEX

      OPPOSITE  SEX

Every morning I wake and gaze my lover in her face
Her eyes are close so tight
I wonder who she is dreaming of
Maybe in her sleep is the only place she forgives me.

In a bit, she will awake
Walking towards the shower
Her fresh smile in the morning is fake
I can smell her odor,  like a flower.

How could I do this to you?
I know you are hurting everyday
With all the things I did to you
Thank you for not walking away.

Seeing as you get dressed in front of me
With a body so nice leaving me aroused
Afraid of you going your own way
Every time I see you leave with an open blouse

The harder I try to make it better
You gain authority  over me
Holding you near in the cold weather
You push me away when you remember

You are the best thing that ever happens to me 
How could I be so dumb with my stupidity

May be one day you will forgive 
Without you I realize I cannot live
My days go by me very slow
The love for me, you no longer show

Lying by your side where you rest
You turn away before I turn off the light
I want to touch you with a nice soft caress
You say you are tired just about every night
I kiss your neck to see if you respond 
You give me the cold shoulder as if we just had a fight
I touch your curves with my fingertips
Still, you do not give into my lips.

I beg you please do not make me wither away
You say you have nothing to say
Regretting what I did everyday

I am still deeply in love with you,
Without you I do not know what to do!!!

 =====Opposite Sex=====
                 


Details | Free verse | |

All is not fair in love and war

People say that love never fails,
That all is fair in love and war,
But really, how do you know,
What love can or can not do?
And if all is fair in love and war, then
Why does someone always end up getting hurt?
I know my love will never fail,
Because I love you with all my heart and soul,
Because I would give my life for you,
And everything I am or have just to be with you.
However, I can not be fair to all
Because all is not fair in love and war.
I wish to hurt no one, so I don't,
But by doing so, I hurt myself.
My heart wants to be with you so much
And yet I wish to hurt no one.
So I don't, I don't confess my love for you,
I keep it locked inside,
And as a friend I stay by your side.
My love for you remains forever pure and unchanged.
I love you, Yes, I do, with all my heart and soul,
With all that I am and hope to be just for you.
My heart untamed and wild, dreaming of what if,
But it's cut in half by the love I feel for both.
My heart belongs to you but only half,
Because I gave the other half away to him.
Now I suffer for my love, for both are great,
But only one, I wish I could be with forever.
All is not fair in love and war,
So I love you both and suffer much,
Because my heart is wounded, torn in half.
I can not speak of my deep love for you,
I can not confess my feelings to you.
So I go on with my life pretending nothing's wrong.
Why must I go on without your love?
It's faith, I guess, that I suffer so.
It's destiny to love you so.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

SO blind

   All this time I have always had my doubts,
Not the person led to believe is what I found out.
   To be deceived and lied to for oh so long,
Down deep I knew there was something wrong.
   Head over heels I had fallen in love ,
Always thought you were sent from above.
   How the knife is twisted into my side ,
So much pain I can do nothing but cry.
   These memories of what I thought was real,
I'm confused and I don't how how to feel.
    Is this really possible that I did not know,
Through all this time it never showed.
    Such an evil thing to do to a man ,
Especially the lies which he could not stand.
    How cruel and cold your heart must be ,
To carry on as you did never letting me see.
     Hard to accept all those moments  so dear ,
Realizing they are now my greatest fears .
     What was to be Joy and Happiness,
Replaced by the feelings of a loneliness.
   Never did I imagine this happening to me ,
Thinking that you and I were meant to be .
   It's a very hard thing for a man to accept ,
When he finds out that he's been tricked.
    Was it the money or the control you had ,
Maybe because you are really just that bad.
    Some day soon for this you will have to pay ,
For the sins against me and your evil ways.
    Goodbye to you  who ever you are ,
For in this heart you have left brutally scarred.
Tac.


Details | Epic | |

We Lost More Than a Dad

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost half of how we came to be
We lost we four girls first love
We lost our Best Friend

We lost more than just a Dad that day
Our Mom lost her Soul Mate, Her other half 
Our children lost their Papaw
We lost our family’s foundation 
We lost the glue that held us together

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost the Strongest man we ever knew 
We lost the man we looked up too
We lost we four girls Teacher of many things

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We four girls lost our Hero
We lost some of our Light
We lost part of our Heart
We lost part of our Soul

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost some of our Courage
We lost some of our Strength
We lost some of our will to fight back
We lost some of our will to carry on
We four girls lost more than a Dad
We lost more than just a Dad that day


Details | Lyric | |

I Hate You Cancer

Dedicated to my Dad who lost his short battle w/ Colon Cancer on June 18,2013

I hate you Cancer
Your vile evil and cruel
You don't care who you hurt
I'll never forget that day
I'll always hate you for it

Your heartless Cancer
You took someone important from me
Someone important from others too
Took people who didn't belong to you
I hate you for it

You disgust me Cancer
You had no right to take him from me
He mattered more than my very own life
I hate you for taking my Daddy
I hate you for taking others too

I hate you with a passion Cancer
You took part of my heart with him
You took part of my soul that day too
I hate you for it
I hate you I hate you I hate you

I hate you with every fiber of my being 
Go back to Hell where you belong
I hate you, others hate you
Your not welcome or wanted here Cancer

I hate you more than his doctor's
I hate you more than God
I hope I get to witness that day
Witness the day you fall
And you will fall Cancer

You're gonna lose the battle one day Cancer
I'm gonna laugh and dance around your grave
You'll finally get what you deserve 
And you'll never be able to take another soul


Sabrina Niday Hansel


______________________________________________________________________
Placed 8th in Poet Destroyer A's  2013 "PINKTOBER" Contest

Please Support a Cure for Colon Cancer & every other type!









Details | Rhyme | |

The Hospital Fairyland

THE HOSPITAL FAIRYLAND

They walked together, hand in hand,
Into life’s magical fairyland.
Where there was no trouble, where there was no pain.
Where life could really, begin all over again.
Where were no men in little white coats.
Forcing you all, to stuff drugs down your throats.
Forcing you to do, what you didn’t want to.
Telling you it was all for the best, for you,
People shouting, people crying.
Most of the people talking about dying.
What is this hell, we’ve all come to?
It’s called coming off drugs, we all have It to go through.
Where will it end, what will we do?
None of us really, has a clue.
We are given more pills, we are told, we have to take.
To the men in white coats, life’s a piece of cake.
We are the prisoners, they guard the doors.
Some try to creep out, on all fours.
Into hell and back, we go for a ride.
Eventually if we’re lucky, we come out the other side.
Where we can walk, hand in hand.
Into life’s magical Fairyland.
Where there is trouble, where there is pain.
But at least we can start, living again.


Details | Rhyme | |

Let Him Go

This poem I wrote. I call it " Let Him Go "

Sweetheart don't cry
Don't let him make you feel like your nothing
You do have family even though we are not close by
I know your heart is crushing
Don't harp on the past
Don't let him play with your head
You need to get over him fast
His feelings for you are dead
Over 2 years and you still don't have a ring
Your not the one he calls his wifey to be no more
Take a seat and listen up girl here is the thing
He's playing with your feelings and using you like a two dollar whore
I know you were smart once and can be again
He has you so brain washed it's not funny
I know hearing all this is a strain
Think of the example your setting for you little ones honey
Hold your head high and walk away from that loser mama's boy 
Show him that your the one that is too good for his sorry ass
Hell he's such a mama's boy you can find better pleasure in a toy
Your related to me so come on show your sass 
Let go of the past and look to a new future
Let go of the pain and the control freak
Say bye bye Looser
It will get easier one step at a time week by week......


Details | Free verse | |

Hot and Cold

*Hot & Cold*

“The Professional”
only in my eyes
supports
the temperature.
Mercury, rising above:

Boiling point of no return,
Injection,
Rejection,
like heartfelt tears
on the surface,
pouring of dryness
from the the deep
complete.
Bare
Plot
Both 
Dot
Cold
not good enough.

You stay,
Numbness against the impression
of adoration
wallows off
Venus, the frigged interiors of:

Freezing below zero, 
from my form,
Swallow knots
intent look 
nowhere to be found -
in the zeniths
radiation.
Core
Depth
Beauty
Death
Hot
I grasp it all.

The secret of you
I hunger!
Cannot have,
nowhere to be found-
no lease.
Stay…
A kiss so endlessly,
I need!
I want!
endurance
reassurance
your vibes
confused, 
not fixed
your placid
hallucination
during
muddy waters.
And still I may be smitten : -)

By;pd


Details | Free verse | |

Devil's Hidden Ranch

DEVIL'S HIDDEN RANCH

Coyote howl, dogs growl
Gunshots, dead cow
Red barn left unlock
Horse shoe upon death's door
Tequila in a cup
Salt of cocaine, shadows of insanity
Guitar string, sad song
Bandit near the door, wife on the floor
Hallucinating---Reality
Yelling out her name, he's gone insane
Loaded gun, life is done
Far and near ending his intoxicating fear
The road under the sun
A coward in his path
Responding to the Devil's wrath

In a Hidden Ranch in Mexico!!!!!!
       
:)   SKAT


Details | Qasida | |

I Miss You

When the moonlight in its fullest,
Is spreading over the night,
Your memory at this point,
Pains my heart dearly,
I miss you…
The stories of spring,
Of these past beautiful views,
Return back to me,
And fills my eyes with tears,
I miss you…
At least tell me this much,
That this moonlight comes to you,
And wakes up dreams in you,
And teases you too,
I miss you…
When the moonlight in its fullest,
Is spreading over the night,
Your memory at this point,
Pains my heart dearly,
I miss you…
The stories of spring,
Of these past beautiful views,
Return back to me,
And fills my eyes with tears,
I miss you…
When the moments of those days, 
Come by and touch you,
The memories of past days,
Take my sleep away,
I miss you…
When the moonlight in its fullest,
Is spreading over the night,
Your memory at this point,
Pains my heart dearly,
I miss you…
When my memory,
Brings tears to your eyes every moment,
When every breath of parting,
Becomes difficult to breathe,
Then forget everything around you,
And return to me,
Break every relation
And come decorate my dreams,
Don’t leave me after that,
When the moonlight in its fullest,
Is spreading over the night,
Your memory at this point,
Pains my heart dearly,
I miss you…
The stories of spring,
Of these past beautiful views,
Return back to me,
And fill my eyes with tears,
I miss you…
My heart aches for you…


Details | Munaajaat | |

Tell Me

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know

Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know

Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that

You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know

You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me, Help me to understand

You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel

How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door

You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't 
Answer me, you owe me that much



Sabrina Niday Hansel
~Niday40873~

(motif) Spiritual


Details | Rhyme | |

When A Son Loses His Father

Now that he's without him
what is he working for
He had never truly realized
His dad drove him to want more
With working came acceptance
replaced emotions he concedes
and his father unavailable,
he kept his schedule filled with deeds,
When his father passed away
it broke him to the core
just learning he and his dad
had things in common they stood for
His dad had loved unconditionally,
despite his character flaws
and perhaps was thinking he'd call his son
when the winter thaws
but winters came and went
and neither reached to call
yet they truly loved each other
despite their voices being awol
His imperfect life with his Dad,
is now the oddest gift he treasures
He's vowed to be a father
for his sons to proudly measure
He says "I love you" to his kids,
and has being saying so for many years
then thinks of what he missed
with his Dad,
and it reduces him to tears
Nothing can make that emptiness go
he carries the lesson learned
Knowing now to speak his love out loud
not said to be returned
When a son loses his father
a part of himself fades into the light
as do the words he rarely stated,
like, "Dad, nice to hear from you tonight"
or picking up the phone to say,
"hi dad, did you just hear",
are calls he wished he'd made
while he wipes away a tear,
Now in a prayer he says, "I love you Dad", 
to the heavens he kneels and pleads
and wonders if his fathers knows
that his love's so strong, it bleeds
"Dad, in case you didn't know it,
I love you more than I can say
I always tell my kids I love them
I learned that the hard way,
and in my heart,
my father,
you shall always stay".


Details | Lyric | |

Don't Cry

Please don't cry over my casket 
For I am not there 
Please don't cry at my grave 
My soul has been set free 
I know it's hard not to cry 
I've been down that road one to many times 

I have no more pain 
I have no more sickness 
And I would not change a thing 
As I walk threw the gates of Heaven 
Mom Dad our brothers and sisters 
Will welcome me with open arms 
Here I am free of that pain 

Don't blame yourself 
It was my time to go home 
This is where I'm supposed to be 
Don't dwell on things which you can not change 
I will always be in your heart 

I will always be watching over you 
When that day comes for you to come home
I will be there to welcome you 
With open arms
And walk you threw the gates of Heaven 
You will be greeted by our family & friends
Who came home before you 
Until that day I will be watching over you


Details | Free verse | |

If I Had The Guts

I know i have kept a lot from you.
I know its not fair. 
I know i should tell you.
I know i have to tell you.

Maybe i can tell you some, but not all.
Maybe i can keep it secret just a little longer.
Maybe i can hide it from you more.
Maybe i can get the guts to tell you everything.

Everyday, i wanna tell you.
Everyday, i hope i get the guts to tell you.
Everyday, i feel bad for not telling you.
Everyday i think about you.

Sometimes, i dont want to tell you.
Sometimes, i just want you to know it all.
Sometimes, i wish i never knew you.
Sometimes, i wish you were all mine.

If i had the guts, i would tell you everything.
If i had the guts, i would tell you how much you mean to me.
If i had the guts, i would tell you your the only reason im alive.
If i had the guts, i would tell you my biggest secret.

Just knowing that i love you.
Just knowing that you may or may not love me back.
Just knowing that i care.
Just knowing that you probably dont.

Breaks my heart.
Breaks my soul.
Breaks my dreams.
Breaks my life.

If i had you, my life would be complete.
If i had you, my life would be perfect.
If i had you, i would be happy.
If i had you, i wouldnt have to search anymore.

I know i should tell you.
I know its not fair.
I know i have kept a lot from you.
I know i should tell you.

But, i dont have the guts, 
The guts to tell you i love you,
The guts to tell you your the reason im alive,
The guts to tell you,
I need you in my life.


Details | Elegy | |

The Way It Was

The song starts to play and I start to cry
How can so much hurt come from a song like that?
Once upon a time it used to bring me happiness and laughs
Now all it brings me is sorrow
You were my world and the song was ours
Now you're gone leaving me with nothing but a broken heart
It isn't easy to forget about everything
That song meant so much to me and now it's all been taken away
I had a dream that the song was going to bring us together again
But now, I don't want to listen to the song anymore
The song is a constant reminder of our tragedy and it will always hurt
I've tried to forget but nothing seems to work
I'll listen to that song a million times more
Until the day we are reunited, together forever


Details | Ode | |

Love is a Sacrifice

You have my soul, but you have your fate Whatever your words, I’m willing to take You have my word; I’ll give you my breath It’s like a chain that would never be break You are my love with all my heart, I’ll fight for you with all my might. And in the way, you admire your goals, You hold my hands, but not so close. As you go to your chosen path, I’ll accept the fact that we will be apart. In the dark side, I leave behind Within my faith, that you’ll arise Please don’t look back, coz I’m fighting still I’m hurting so much! Don’t want to have you near I accept my fate for what it does, I’m bleeding so much, do you know for whom it was? You reach your goals, as you want to have, Would you remind the man that gave what he had? As you reach the stars, and be the one Be a sun that shines its own. After the rain, the rainbow comes, Like dark in the moon, when the light flash A glimpse from you at least a short For then I knew my pain is worth.


Details | Sestina | |

Happy Tears


It's safe to say that all who ever love
Within its heights were joyous and happy
And in its depths were drunken with tears.

A letter sad and smudged with ink washed tears
And questions why a heart should gladly love
When pain tears through a heart not happy.

So much elation and sorrow, days sad and happy
So many emotions that bring us to tears,
We wonder why we should ever love.

Until life smiles and love brings happy tears...


Details | Rhyme | |

Goodbye Stranger

The person I see today
so different from yesterday
Its like it wasn't you
It's like it wasn't me
Its as if this is all new
what happened in the past
not a soul knew.

Life happened so quickly
life happened so fast
my heart was once attached

Now I see you
but its not you
Its like it was a dream
I woke up and you were not what you seemed.
Am I the only one that dreamed this dream?

Now when I see you
when I look in your eyes,
all I can see is lies.
All that I believed to be true
everything I saw in you.
Such lies you spewed to me
how selfish you could be.
The words you spoke to me,
the experiences we shared,
are moments in time,
now unreachable, lost in the past.

I see you as I walk by,
I don't understand how you ever made me cry.
I now realize our relationship was a lie.
But this one fact,  I can not deny,
I wanted to believe this lie.
I wanted you to be true.
I wanted to start anew.
I look back now,
I should not have chosen you.

I have nothing more to say.
Maybe the words you spoke to me
will haunt you with the memory of me.

Goodbye to the person I once knew..
Goodbye to all the thoughts of you.


Details | Rhyme | |

What Is This Church All About

What Is This Church All About?

Is this church meant for people like me?
Is this where God really wants me to be?

They claim to be filled with God’s spirit.
When it comes to HIS truth...  Can they give it?

I’m sure there’s many who come and attend
It’s more than “church on Sunday,” that we must spend!

We must reach out to the lost and the oppressed!
After all, Christ gave us his very best!

May we all preach the gospel and God’s holiness!
And strive to seek his awesome righteousness!

Living for Jesus must be a daily walk and experience!
Not simply based on our “ambitious self appearance.”

God isn’t interested in a denomination or a title…
He wants to know…  Do we really believe the Bible?

He’s not interested in the money put in the offering plate.
He wants to know; “Are you ready
 to enter heaven’s gate?”

May we strive to serve Jesus with a zeal and passion!
And be filled with his holiness and compassion!

May we serve Jesus from a heart of humbled confession!
And making our commitment to him,
 our #1 possession!

“Unless the Lord builds the house.”  
They labor in vain that build it!
Let’s seek the power of God! 
May his presence completely fill it!!

By Jim Pemberton    


Details | Lyric | |

This Aint Real

Your face, 
Made a fake smile, (you said)
I love you,
I need you,
I want you just for a while,
You told me,
That I made you smile,
All the things you said to me,
Are just words now,
How can we love,
When you love me for yourself,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus: 2x
What are we doin,
If this love ain't real,
What is this feeling,
That I feel,

I'm broken in emotion,
I'm broken in love, (you said)
I need you,
I want you
You're the only one,
I'm thinkin of, (so tell me)
How can we love, 
When there's always someone else,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus 2x
Bridge:
How can we love,
When there's always someone else,
How can we make up,
When you only love me for yourself,

verse #3:
You got me imprisoned, 
Inside your heart,
When kissed
I felt, Like we,
Would never be apart,
chorus 2x

 


Details | Narrative | |

Don't Take My Kindness For Granted

You think that you know me
But you don't know at all
Every day you say your sorry
After that I fall
I hate it when you lie
You think your doing good
When all you cause is pain
Just tell me that you hate me
So my life won't be in vein...


Details | Rhyme | |

Today I Die

I often sailed in stormy seas
Against the fiercest winds
And often pleaded on my knees
To blot my woesome sins.

But sweet days would desert me
And sadness would blow a soft tear
The silent nights would greet me
With the bitter notes of despair.

For in the sultry spring she rose
To welcome the day with a sad sigh
Away from me,oh there she goes
And left me gloomed to blasted die!

For days of old my spirit sprung
That fulgent joy,that loving grace
That her tender heart had sung
To save me from this life of waste.

For she gave me a life of meaning and I
Through my darksome life of vain
Would but these few memories ensky
Where the ancient Gods have lain.

Now this may be the last poem I write
And the very last breath I breathe
But today I die for a love so right
As the amour moon recede.


Details | Elegy | |

Stranger


My heart egos and my life drained from me
Simple life I live, I act as I know all
But I know not, no, not even a little
I earnestly seek for recognitions
But my life and my heart is a hole.
An empty vessel, soulless, loveless

I have been succumb by the pain of heart aches
I have become a broken man,
Know not what my future holds
I envy those who went before me, who were acknowledge

I hold on to the little shred of hope in me, 
I am being drowned by my own sorrows.
Love, hate, a new beginning and ending of my old self never seems to happen
My wrath against my enemies is nothing for they humor me with insults.
Let not death come to me in misery and despair, 
For life is full of joy and full of sorrows.

Love me, as who would love a stranger from nowhere.
Let my sorrows be taken away by the love of many
But at last, no one would.
Don’t cry for me, for no one knows me
They came before my grave and said “who is this man?”
“Why is the name not written?”
It is not written because I am nothing
Don’t shed a tear for the stranger such as me.

Life is like a dream on a calm sea,
As the captain gracefully steer and gently moves its rudder.
The passenger puts their lives in his hands,
A calm sea is the heaven of any sailor.
“So, where is my captain?”
The wind blows every so gently,
But my heart sinks gently into the sea;
Who will mourn for the stranger?

Drowned from my grief, 
My faith begins to waver like a ship tossed around by the winnowing wind
My heaven, my calm sea turns against me as I sail the Galilean sea
“Where are thy words that calm the raging storm?”
Ay! I have no peace even in my passing.
I have not thy words of command,
For my faith has been tossed away by the hating winds,  
Shallow, empty, and broken I lay here in an unnamed grave.

Only thy mercy will guide me to the third heaven!
Let my sorrows be washed away by the blood of the innocent lamp.
Let thy words be the honey drops for mine, 
As this world knows only lies
Blinded by greed and lust, 
They seek only to destroy of what they fear.
And my sorrows are tossed away by thy promises.
For thy compassion for lost sheep is great.

"Have I found peace?"
I have, for I know my heart is at rest when my body has aged
And my salvation has come
When I died with thy Words of truth


Details | Free verse | |

A Flame Once Burned

It's chilly where the sun once shone,
Mem'ries haunt when I'm alone,
Bereft of joys that I had known,
My dreams all torn apart.

Scorched the earth where flowers bloomed,
The dust and ash my hopes consumed,
Hes'tations, doubts our passion doomed
Ere it had time to start.

I want in vain for solace dear,
It's dark where once the skies were clear,
When naught but what might be I feared
And the course our love would chart.

Promises broken, 
Words unspoken,
Deep wounds opened,
Eyes that cried.

Wrongs not righting,
Constant fighting,
Unrequiting,
Love soon died.

It's cold here where a flame once burned,
It's empty where for you I yearned,
It's dead and life will not return
To the cinders of my heart.



Written for "A Flame Once Burned" Contest
December 1, 2012
By: Daniel Beus


Details | Tanka | |

Fall

old leaves are falling
sailing, reluctant, kiss death
the fragile air breaks 
healing hearts are letting go
love letters, clutched until now


? 2010


Details | Free verse | |

STILL

I have developed a temporary dislike of the things that I’ve convinced myself have been keeping you away from me. Mere substitutes that admitted to the murder of your mind.

This phone, and this 11 o’clock moon have slayed my reason’s for not just blaming your wandering eye.

Most of these nights I’ve tried Ctrl.Alt.Del.(ing) any ridiculous thoughts, by selecting all of the frequently frustrating things that know just how to push my buttons. I don’t know why I’m speaking in computer terms, but lately I haven’t been able to function quite right unless I’m near one. It’s the only way to get near you.

Most of these nights, this phone has been the entire left side of my brain, but now my mattress has memorized the rhythm to a ringtone it should’ve never been introduced to, and now the stupid cushion keeps me awake until it has made sure that I’ve felt it vibrating up my spine. My intuitive, creative right brain seems to remember being together with it’s brother each and every time I remember laying together beside you.

I wait for a wanting of your wanting. Muscle memories of warm bodies wrapped up in positions that make your mind say ‘what the ****?’ I am missing you. The you who remembers that the other members of her body are always here to help; no need to amputate a listening ear, or an gouge out an attentive eye. I still see you.

Sometimes, I forget that the phone’s main function is to send a signal of information to someone you can’t see. Whether it be via text, twitter app or vocally, you want to reach someone you can’t see. I still see you.

Sometimes, I swear I can see each of the moon’s phases during the day;  completely filled with life during the time when it’s nearly invisible. It’s sad though, because New Moon, you show yourself to everyone else except me on the nights I always expect to see your face. Is this a trick man? or have my eyes been gouged out already, and I simply missed the painful message via text, twitter app or vocally? But still, whether with two eyes, four eyes or no eyes, I still see you.


Details | Elegy | |

The Lament For an Angel

All in one faded-black day (but let None forget) In my arms, her body lay (my life was the price to pay) A tragedy, through the lack of humanly shame (do they know pain) My darkly colleen has to suffer no more (Robert nor do you) Let me die (please hear my haunted cries) If I can not see Sophie tonight (live on with my grey) I'm just a mess of despairing words And broken nerves Another mourning, afflicted sight (through decay, love can remain) Solace, sympathy are just more lies She is all I need Until you decide she is just another sadist's toy My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away (My body is amortal, die I may, Together, our hearts will forever stay)


Details | Ballad | |

Broken Dreams

  Do you believe in the things that you've always known,
Can you understand the things you've been shown.
   Is it the visions you see that make you believe,
Or is the feelings you get when you've been deceived.
    The pain you feel a never ending ache ,
Tearing your heart and soul from you every day.
    Time ticks slowly pounding away at you,
Throbbing heart breaking and there's you can do,
    Must I settle for these lost and broken dreams,
Because it has all the signs that what it seems.
    How much should a man endure to find his way,
It cant possibly be like this hard for me every day.
    There is nothing so frustrating as being so confused,
Especially when you've discovered that you've been used.
    I will get through this lonely phase I have no doubts,
But I'm sure there will come a day I'll figure it all out.
    Cautiously I walk the path that's been laid before me,
In faith I will continue for I know he will let me see.
    Life will be thrown at you in so many different ways,
I will be prepared for these things for the rest of my days.
    Broken dreams will be the learning tree for me to grow ,
Living my life with Joy Happiness is what I'll always Know.
tac


Details | Epitaph | |

Know I'm Always There

I didn’t choose to leave you 
For here I don’t belong
But Heaven is my home now
So please my love be strong

I know you cannot hear me
So I'm sending you this prayer
I need for you close your eyes
And feel that I'm still there

When no one’s there to hold you up
You don’t know what to do
When your legs will walk no more
I will carry you

When you stumble down and fall 
Take my hand and rise
For when you cannot find your way
I will be your eyes

Know that when you’re crying
I will wipe away your tears
When dreams are there to haunt you
I will fight away your fears

When loneliness surrounds you
And covers you with fear
Know I’m standing by your side
Know I'm always here

When you feel you can’t go on
When pain is just too real
Know I’ll never leave
Until your scars begin to heal

When dark descends upon you
And sleep no longer comes
I will lie beside you
Till you see the rising sun

I know you’ll keep me in your heart
Even though I'm gone
For time cannot erase our love
In you, it will live on...


Details | Alliteration | |

Cheater's Chair

A destructive dance indeed,
betwixt the two we bleed.
A bellowing, bloody abate,
this stale, seductive state.

Simple, senseless steeds,
jealous fires feed.
Perjuring petty plights,
demons do delight.

A crimson, cheaters chair,
awful angers air.
No trust, truth or taste,
wallowed wantons waste.

Envious, eager eyes,
rejoicing a wrathful rise.
Coveting, careless couth, 
yesteryear's eager  youth.


Details | Couplet | |

Gone Almost Forgotten

Sometimes when my mind's lazy I think of you
The times that happen are getting quite few

Wreaked havoc on my heart 
What the storm did in its path

Sadistically rape my love
Then offered a black dove

Forged a degree to get by
A degree you have to lie

How does knowledge make gold
When there's a hole in the shoe sole

Shame on you big professor
You play my money and me a sucker

Me the poor illiterate woman
Fed clothes and shelter the educated man



Details | Pantoum | |

They Took Away My Innocence

They took away my innocence—
A child, but merely two years old.
My soul left with ambivalence;
I hate myself as I grow old.

A child, but merely two years old—
Abandoned, glossed over, abused.
I hate myself as I grow old;
Completely left confused and used.

Abandoned, glossed over, abused—
Why would a person hurt a child?
Completely left confused and used—
Naïf, so trusting, meek, and mild.

Why would a person hurt a child?
My soul left with ambivalence—
Naïf, so trusting, meek, and mild.
They took away my innocence.

	



Details | Personification | |

This Day

This is a day that I could have really done without,
Saying you love me and do this to me hurts no doubt.
   Day  after day I pray that you will please stop,
What pain you've caused me has taken all I've got .
   I love you and adore you but it seems not to matter,
Still you continue to hurt me leaving my heart shattered.
   You come to me with words I have only  dreamed ,
But what they were meant for was to hurt me it seems .
    Never  have I seen a woman with so much hate ,
Taking revenge on me by disrespecting me till it hurts.
    True I have  waivered with my troubles with trust,
The one thing thats important and this is a must.
     There are no more words or sayings that will ever work,
I have tried everything  I know giving it all that its worth .     
     To the day I die I will never understand why ,
The woman I love does everything to make me cry .
     So this my dream to be forever with you ,
Is only nightmares for me  and dying is all I can do.
     This a day I surely could do without.
TAC


Details | Ballad | |

London

She called herself London
On that day 
She fell from the sky
Child of apple blossoms
Dancing wildly
Into your mind

The snake that hung from her neck
Bites your hand
Expels you from Eden
Tears into the cool flesh
Of your madness
Posing as reason

London
Kisses you like a sweet lover
As though she really cares
Lets you 
Taste the passionate orchard
In her body’s secret lair

London
Wrestles with all your demons
Nothing quite compares
To the pain 
The indecent pleasure
In the waters that you share

Her name was London
Call her London

She called herself London
On that night
She prayed to the moon
Apollo’s lyre
Played darkly
In a portent 
Of your own doom

The hell she hides 
In her soul
Toxic drug you’ll never escape
You crave the milk of her touch
Her strange and dangerous ways

London
Kisses you like a sweet lover
As though she really cares
Lets you 
Taste the passionate orchard
In her body’s secret lair

London
Wrestles with all your demons
Nothing quite compares
To the pain 
The indecent pleasure
In the waters that you share  

Her name was London
Call her London

My baby, London
Call her London
My moon-girl, London 
Call her London

I love her, London
Call her London
Forever, London 

I call her London……


Details | Rhyme | |

Thoughts That Grow Louder

With a whispered thought comes a dream
To be above the shame and guilt
Of losing pride in what would seem,
To most, the whole of what we built.

With a quiet thought comes the fear,
And shadows close the doors of reason.
I see racing frames of pictures clear, 
Rendering unbearable deeds of treason.

With that clear thought, I stand corrected-
So much love has come and gone,
But I, alone, must stay connected 
To what I know and where I belong.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

All Day Long

All. Day. Long.

I sit there, in my chair, All. Day. Long. 
Glaring at people I hate. 
The people who are but mere memories.
Mere dust in the wind.

All that I know has blown away, 
taken by my faulty actions.
The dull replay of Meteora fills my room with lyrical insanity, 
tempting me with beat and anger. 
But I’ve realised it’s not the music that’s dull.
It’s myself. I am dull. 
 Dull, empty, detached, dead. 
My actions have caused this, my mental instability.

My arms and wrists, they’re crisscrossed with faint pink patterns,
the product of my attempts at reattachment and relief.
Eternal smiles of violet beneath my eyes, wrinkles surround my lips. 
My skin, yellow from the drugs, reflects weakly the sunlight from outside.
I blame everyone but myself, my personality rotten to the core.
My lungs, as well, shredded by smoke that acted like needles.

I couldn’t help myself, I jest in my mind. 
I’ve been trying to shove the blame onto something but myself, 
only to find there is nothing to blame but myself.

My body has been wracked to this state, 
a state well beyond my mere 29 years. 
My mind, hanging from a cliff. 
Threatening to free fall at any moment. 

As I sit there, in my chair, 
memories of an age long gone from my life flash before my eyes.
 A girl I loved, laughing.
 Her and I lying in the grass, at a lake’s edge.
A cat akin to night, eyes green as mine, purring softly in my lap.
Flashes of guns, from a war forgotten by all but me. 

As I reminisce these memories, a spark of feeling—pain.
Upwelling in my gut.
 Through my chest.
 Stabbing into the side of my head.
The pain triggers a new wave of recollection. 

Again, the girl. My mind so foggy I can’t remember her name. 
Dancing slowly to a song no longer heard of. 
Snow. A blush of the cheeks. Hands in mine, warming and comfortable.
The pain in my head intensifies, blinding me. 
I fall from my chair, the first time I’ve moved all day. In 2 days.

Shaking my head, I pull myself up. Standing, I look around. 
Another flash of pain, followed by a sensation I’d all but forgotten.
Her lips. At dusk. The very first time.
I stumble away from an unseen being, crashing into the wall. 
Blinking my eyes furiously, I right myself. 
Waiting a moment, I sit back down. 
And let the dullness take over, the pain ebb away, 
and the memories to replay.
All. Day. Long.


Details | Free verse | |

The Wall, The Wall

The Wall, The Wall

I
the world fades from my fingertips
like blood oozing from an open wound
the sky is ripped apart and full of thunder
and my eyes are twisted in pain

shut the door and lock me within
the light is buzzing and flickering
something is about to explode
or maybe thats just my soul

softly touch the wall and it corrodes
the white paint peels and turns black
and cracks appear on the surface
a garbage touch that ruins it all

for years the signs of ruin were there
building up behind fragile white walls
and now i sit here with an open chest
my heart nailed to the damned wall

and as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood from an open wound
the sky outside is bloody and tormented
and i cant begin to see my own reality

II
im so afraid that if i get up ill fall again
damned by the ghosts of the past
the flashing glare of reality looms larger
closing in on me and slapping me

if only someone could open the door
and let me out of this foreboding room
perhaps i could see more than whats inside
instead of slicing myself in half

remember it was your verse that ended me
slicing off my fingers one by one
it was when my heart was nailed to the wall
that i truly forgot how to feel

my sickening screams echo loudly
throughout the confines of my own mind
reverberating down my spine
and leaving me in a shivering fit

as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood pouring from an open wound
the sky outside has faded to a deep black
and i cant begin to see my own reality


Details | Acrostic | |

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!


Details | Lyric | |

If Only I (Song)

The end was growing closer
I could feel it all around
Before you said it's over
from all the times I let you down
As I lie beside your pillow
It's getting hard to sleep at night
Every single lonely tear knows
That I did not love you right

If only I,
Could turn back time
with the words of a rhyme,
I'd be someone instead of me,
I'd show you something new to see,
Girl I need you in my life,

If only I,
Could live when you were mine,
And learn to let love shine,
I'd show your heart a better me
And be someone instead of me,
To keep you in my life,
If only I....

The last thing that you told me,
Before you walked out of the door,
Baby you never hold me,
How can I make you love me more,
I wish I would have listened
To the thing you tried to say
If I would have paid attention
Maybe then you would have stayed,

If only I,
Could turn back time
with the words of a rhyme,
I'd be someone instead of me,
I'd show you something new to see,
Girl I need you in my life,

If only I,
Could live when you were mine,
And learn to let love shine,
I'd show your heart a better me
And be someone instead of me,
To keep you in my life,

If only I, could have been
what you needed,
Since I hurt you,
our love's bleeding,
Out of time
and out of sight,
If only I could
make this right...

If only I,
Could turn back time,
when you were still mine,
I'd be everything that you need,
And give your heart a better me,
I miss you in my life...
If only I...


Details | Rhyme | |

Angella

O’er this land I roam
Eternally through sorrow
Escaping thy ‘morrow
Seeking thine home

Pocketed tools, head hung low
Stones kicked roll swift
They flee thee as on I go, bereft

Woeful and yes full brimmed regret
Tears nay neither sweat nor dew
I would shed existence for you


Details | I do not know? | |

I'm Sorry For Being So Cold

My words may feel so cold,
Yet this feeling of falling and 
Then trying to be so loving
Eventually misleads me to 
Feeling like she or myself 
Is gradually shoving my feelings 
Through an invisible door.

It's all so not worth 
Letting this sorrow corner me in,
My mind is wondering if I'm truly fine with
Having no one special in my own current life.

My reasons for trying to 
Move onwards from there
Were nothing but idealized dreams
Turning into unpleasant realities. 

Who knew that a few days 
After those euphoric moments
I would be realizing that 
The strings of my heart were pulled
By desires so unnecessary for healing 
My own inner strife.

My words may have been so cold,
But it's only because this sorrow I go through
Will always continue beyond tomorrow.

You don't deserve being 
My eternal object of depression,
Yet you are also even taking it 
All too simply to be the object
Of my true love and affection.

My feelings from loving you 
Were absolutely true,
But I now see I was so wrong 
In believing in my own naïve thoughts.
So fleeting was the beautiful 
Rendering of my soul,
Except that no one knew then 
That it was only a game of pretend.

Wanting my first kiss returned, 
Yet again I guess first can mean the worst,
So I guess I'll find someone 
Who will become my second best.
After telling you I can't love you anymore, 
I now feel as if I can finally rest.

My words were only so cold,
Because something in the depths of my heart
Was calling out to be heard.

In the end though I have released myself
From the bittersweet feelings I gained from 
My voice and feelings that once were forsaken.
I'm sorry for being so cold.


Details | Lyric | |

I Just Want My Life Back

Dedicated to everyone at Freedom Middle School
06-07
I love you guys with all my heart

The hallways are full of laughter, 
The friends are full of love
The good friends are playful,
Giving each other a little shove.
The classes were a bit of a challenge,
The tests more of a breeze
Studying was the hard part
But it put our minds at ease.
The drama was overrated
The fights were way too many
But the make-ups and break-ups made a difference
And made us think a plenty.
The teachers were our light
That got us to where we are
Even connections, useless as they seem to be,
Will help us go really far
The hearts were full of words unsaid
As we took our final steps
Outside the doors, into a new life
As we drew in our final, middle school breath.
The eyes were full of spilling tears
That cascaded down our cheeks
The sun was shining, so how could we
Be feeling so very bleak?
All of it is now a blur
I wish I could go back
And change everything that I had done
Just wipe it away to be packed.
But we can't change our mistakes in the past
And we can't relive our lives
As much as we wish we could return
To the place where our last tears together were cried.
The middle school years were the best
And we're sad to see them go
Especially those who didn't say a lot
Who didn't let their true love show.
We were alive when we were at school
Because we were with the people we loved
Our memories are the best token of that year
Even jokingly being shoved.
But now that all my friends are gone
Onto high school, seperate ones at that,
I'm still here, silently hoping
Wishing that I could go back.
But our time there was for the best,
And this has hit me with a hard SMACK!
I love everyone there, and now I have to say
I just want my life back.


Details | ABC | |

A Shady Tree

I know its the summer time because of how naturally 
Your beauty compliments the caress of a summer breeze
As I watch the world from beneath a shady tree
I take in the delightful comfort of everything I see
But in the same breath I am holding up my hands
Lord will you please give me back the things I no longer have
They are even more a part of me now that they are gone 
As the sun falls below where the horizon is still holding on
Somewhere between the falling light and a star lit night
Is a dream that last forever and will never say goodbye
As the wind gently blows through the brush and shakes the leaves
It begins to hum a melody that I want to sing
At that very moment I smile for all the joy I have
Its so uplifting for me to see melancholy dance
Soon the morning sun will rise and capture my eyes
As I watch the hand of God paint a brand new sky
With every stroke of color I swallow all my pride
And I find a new place to dream of endless times
If I should ever get to the place I left my broken heart
Only then will I believe this brand new day will start
Again Im reminded of why my heart beats so restlessly
Only the speed of thought and my soul beneath this tree


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

 
My lips laugh/smile even in pain,
Whenever I remember those memories,
Those past moments,
Even for a moment itself,
I had got life with smile,
My days were in your lap/embrace,
I had spent my nights in your arms,
Today when I remember those moment,
Those moments force me to forgot all my sorrows,
My lips laugh/smile even in pain,
Whenever I remember those memories,
Those past moments,
You were putting your head on my shoulders,
You were hiding yourself by my chest,
By coming into my shelter,
Breaking/losing yourself in me like a glass,
Today when I see those scenes,
It vanishes the loneliness of my heart,
My lips laugh/smile even in pain,
Whenever I remember those memories,
Those past moments….


Details | Free verse | |

The jungle of my heart

The tangled vines of green tree limbs swing back and forth
as the tallest trees compete to out-shadow one another,
and yellow tigers crouch behind bushes wait for their prey to come along
and bite down on soft necks, the crake of bones- one second a cold meal
served on the long grassy earth of my deep heart.

Those tigresses prowl up and down the jungle plans
as the violets of the sun shine bright and violently-
as the birds sing song in skies so blue
my tired eyes have lost trace of those yellow tigresses
and that one big lion.

I prowl along the green covered roads,
hands in my pockets,
waiting for something-something, something-
but nothing, or no one or anything or anyone
comes or goes or comes;
and I sit and I wait on a bounded rock
waiting and waiting and waiting.

YET- those dreaded yellow tigresses never come, they never come,
and I have lost trust in those birds that fly high and sing songs-tweet-tweet.
Nor do I the sun, or the reflection of the silver laced moon,
not even a single twinkle of a small star-
nothing, nothing, nothing.
Never did I sit so long on that grey, bounded rock nailed to the floor of the green jungle
of my heart.

Love was eating up long ago by one or two of those yellow tigresses,
and I know it- oh yes I know it,
yet I stay, yet I stay and I wait- wait for something good.
as the jungle starts to burn down by men in orange hard hats
and bulldozers, I still sit,
and I wait- dedication for something out of the ordinary, I still wait,
for I promised someone, someone near and dear to myself,
and promise so near to the heart- that it cannot be broken (and I don't break promises)
So I wait- and if I shall die in this jungle of my heart- alone,
then so be it,
as long as I never break that promise.
Then may those yellow tigresses have their way with my body.

.2.23.2014.


Details | Free verse | |

what a sacrifice is called

In times of stress
In times of tension
In times of rough
I use it to fight down my enemies
I use it to defend my love
With my power, with my strength
In times of betrayal, in times of lies
In pages of cruelty
Are tests from God Almighty?
Will I pass or have I failed?
It is all written and I shall not be replied
But in mercy or in pain 
I’ll use it
I’ll use it to fight down my enemies
With my faith, covering my heart
With its power, I’ll guide them
I’ll protect them through
With it’s charm, with its beauty
No matter what It would take?
I would devote my soul to you 
I would cause a life energy transfer 
For you…. Just for you 
I’ll do the tasks that are impossible to make
I’ll live the life that would pain and hurt
For you …
For you’re breath taking eyes
For you’re injury healing heart
For you’re life sacrificing mode
It is you that I chose to give all things
It is you that will open your eyes again 
It is you that will run and enjoy your life
It is you that will bring flowers to my grave
It is me that will close her eyes
It is me that will blackout her senses
It is me that will be waiting for you 
In another place not in this earth
Be sure to be there….





Details | Free verse | |

A Sisters Tears

Broken hearts
Black as tar
A sister’s love burned away
Forever replaced with irreversible hate

Reach for light before the night forever takes
Your soul away
Fight the night, seek the light
Sisters’ love
Can be an unbreakable bond

A soul slowly baptized
In Lucifer’s detestation 
Chipped away until only the shell remains

Once sisters bathing in the rays of life
Separated, in pain, for losing the way
One sister reaching for the other
The other sister stretching her hand down

Down into the very depths of hell
Were Lucifer holds her very soul
And basks in the very pain
He so easily created

Lucifer prince of pain
King of darkness
Walks among the broken hearts
Seeping in his blackened tar
Until the shell is all you see
And the soul is but a memory


Details | I do not know? | |

Coaster Of Emotions

The man I fell in love with is a man who has more than one side
Sometimes I have too just cross my fingers and strap on for the ride
There are times when he is funny and does nothing but make me giggle
Then there are times when he makes my toes curl and wiggle
There are times he comes home angry and takes it out on me
I try to understand there are going to be times where that’s how it is going to be.
Sometimes he snaps when he is real bored.
That's when I have to be patient and pray to the lord 
I don't think he always sees how much he means to me.
How deep in my heart I know we're meant to be
I know each day with him is like a roller coaster ride
My feelings about him I will not change or hide
Strap in it’s a new day, here we go again. 
Up, up, on top
I can see the world 
Down make it stop
Round the curve, ahh missed that fight
Whew
What days not over yet?
Oh no...
Ok strapped in all set
Hold on tight here comes another turn
Bump bump bump the coaster goes on the track of life
I can feel the anger make my heart and hope burn
All I ever wanted was to be his wife
Up it goes again high high high 
It's now Friday night and we just started another fight
I can hear him sign 
Down its going again
This time I'm holding on with all my might
Coaster of emotions your ride is not fun at all. 
Coaster of emotions you want me to weep in sorrow
Coaster of emotions I will not fall 
I'll stay strapped in and take the ride again tomorrow.


Details | Rondeau | |

She's Too Far Gone

She’s too far gone, away from me and what was to be.
All the many moments that glimmered gold and ran free
Through the beginning of a beautiful bond begun
In the café that Tuesday with a simple smile that spun
My worn out world upside down. I had coffee she had tea.

Eventually, the stars slid through her hourglass and she
Grew tired of the toiling and holding on to a dream of me,
More mature—more sane. I wonder if anything can be done;
She’s too far gone

To even listen to the desperate desperation in my plea
To commandeer change, in a heart willing to make her see
That we had it all and understand the love still left undone.
Apologies! To the empty promises always kept—you never won! 
A fight about fate, our future—anything! Now I see, and must agree;
She’s too far gone.


Details | Rhyme | |

OUR BABY GIRL TURNS 21

OUR BABY GIRL TURNS 21

ON 1ST JULY 1990~ THE ANGELS DID SOMETHING ALMIGHTY
FROM HEAVEN THEY SENT US OUR LIFE-LONG DESIRE-A PRECIOUS DAUGHTER TO LOVE AND ADMIRE.
TRUE TO YOUR NATURE YOU ARRIVED WITHOUT FUSS OR PAIN--THE FIRST TIME OUR EYES MET WE KNEW OUR LIVES WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME

AS A BABY AND TODDLER YOU MADE US SO PROUD
YOUR VERY LONG HAIR, GREEN EYES AND SMILE-
ALL THOSE GOOD LOOKS MADE YOU STAND OUT IN A CROWD
YOU STARTED TALKING EARLY WITH MANY VOICEPRINTS 
YOUR CHARM AND GOOD LOOKS HAVE NOT STOPPED SINCE
YOU LOVED YOUR DOLLS AND PRAMS-- DREAMT OF BEING A “SINGER”
 AND VERY QUICKLY LEARNED HOW TO WRAP YOUR DAD AROUND YOUR LITTLE FINGER
YOUR BIG BROTHER DEVON--BEST FRIEND AND PROTECTER 
MOST OF THE TIME YOU GOT ON PERFECTLY TOGETHER

FROM AN EARLY AGE YOU SHOWED YOUR LOVE OF SWIMMING
AGE TWO AND A HALF YOU WERE ABLE AND WILLING
TO SWIM UNDER WATER AND DO MANY LENGTHS
THIS WAS CLEARLY ONE OF YOUR SPORTING STRENGTHS
AT AGE THREE YOU COULD BARELY WAIT TO START PLAYSCHOOL
“MISS INDEPENDENCE”, WAS YOUR GENERAL RULE
THE SLIDE AND JUNGLE GYM WERE YOUR FAVOURITE SPOTS
 AND TO OUR HORROR YOU WOULD CLIMB RIGHT TO THE TOP!
AT AROUND THIS TIME, YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND YOU MET-
 HE LIVED NEXT DOOR, AND HIS NAME WAS BRETT

SOON IT WAS TIME FOR  PRE-SCHOOL
YOU LOVED YOUR TEACHER--YOUR NEW FRIENDS WERE COOL
‘SPRING BONNETS’ AND THE END OF YEAR SCHOOL PLAYS
THE TEDDY BEAR CLASS GAVE YOU SOME REAL SPECIAL DAYS
NEXT WAS ‘BIG SCHOOL’ AND YOUR FIRST CLASS
WE WERE SERIOUSLY ANXIOUS BUT FOR YOU JUST ANOTHER ‘MISS INDEPENDENCE’ TASK
LETTERLAND, MATHS AND LEARNING TO READ
YOU EXCELLED AT ALL THAT WITH INCREDIBLE SPEED
YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS CONTINUED THROUGH GRADES 2, 3 AND FOUR
YOUR PLACE IN THE SWIMMING TEAM HELPED YOUR SCHOOL WIN MORE

OUR MOVE TO AUSTRALIA… SAD FAREWELLS TO YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR PETS 
BUT, GREAT EXCITEMENT YOU FELT AT ADVENTURES TO BE MET
A NEW SCHOOL--“METHODIST LADIES COLLEGE”
NEW FRIENDS--JUMPING A GRADE-- MET WITH SUCH POSITIVE COURAGE
YOU MADE US SO PROUD IN THE WAY YOU ADAPTED
MRS. WILLIAMSON SAID YOU WERE THEIR NEW CLASS ‘ASSETT’
.
THE ‘MR BEE’ SPELLING AWARD AND MANY MERITS LATER 
WE ALL GOT HOMESICK-- BUT YOUR POSITIVE NATURE DID NOT WAVER
THE DECISION WE MADE TO RETURN TO CAPE TOWN 
CAUSED YOU HEARTBROCKEN TEARS AND A PERMANENT FROWN
ONCE AGAIN A SAD FAREWELL TO YOUR NEW FOUND FRIENDS 
RETURNING TO S.A. FOR OLD ONES TO MAKE AMMENDS

IT WASN’T VERY LONG THAT YOU PICKED UP WHERE YOU LEFT OFF AT ALL
 ADDED TO YOUR TALENTS WERE NOW TEAM HOCKEY AND NETBALL

AS YOU APPROACHED THE FIRST OF YOUR TEEN YEARS
WITH YOUR LOOKS AND CHARM, INEVITABLY THE BOYFRIENDS WOULD APPEAR
SHOPPING, MOVIES AND MANY PARTY SLEEP-OVERS
CHOOSING TRUE FRIENDS AND DUMPING THE LOSERS
DANCE SHOWS AND DANCING EXAMS… YOU EXCELLED AT HIP- HOP
 FUN AND OF COURSE THE DESIRE TO SHOP

THE END OF JUNIOR SCHOOL-- THE FINAL ASSEMBLY—AWARDS
TROPHIES FOR SPORTSMANSHIP AND YOUR S.