Running barefoot through the open field
No worries, enjoying what the day will yield
Free spirit, given free reign to roam the town
Sun up to sun down, laughter all around
Dreading Mom's dinner bell, such a sad sound
Knowing the day was over and we had to settle down
Mom was a special lady, such compassion and care
Whenever something was wrong, she was always there
She was a mother, doctor, taxi, chef, she deserves applause
Looking back, I didn't realize how good it really was
Nurturing us from the time we were so were small
Just kids, wild and carefree, Mom took care of it all
The times have changed, we are off on our own
No longer able to do life's daily chores all alone
Mom needs nuturing as she is now on the decline
Time to give a helping hand, time to shine
She hummed the dawning of the day
while spry hands bounced babies
Wielded a spatula with expeditious
movements flipping pancakes onto a plate
Folded napkins at place settings
She was in full swing at noonday
as brisk hands folded lunchmeat and bread
into sandwiches Smoothed the creases
from pages of homework Kept the iron
moving in a pendulum motion over
the mounds of spanking clean laundry
She talked with her hands
gesturing wildly with excitement
Administered slaps to unruly kids with her hands
She took all gossip with a grain of salt
Tossed a pinch over her shoulder
with a cupped hand just in case
With reverent hands and nimble fingers
she daily turned the pages of the good book
unerringly finding the appropriate Bible verse
Now a smattering of age spots dusts her smiling
frail countenance aglow through paper-thin skin
And mother folds her twilight hands
When I was only five
Heard mommy always's say
Angel keep being naughty and you won't make it to
Entry for Adam Hapworth's
Captcha Acrostic Contest
I do not know?
There you are being conceived in your mother's womb.
Before you know it you will be born in this world
As you develop; you start to move around. You take in
your first food as your mom gobbles it down.
Your ears start to develop; behold now you can hear!
You start to move around as the sounds you hear are
You look around to only darkness. So you yawn and fall
asleep. Look at those precious toes that are taking
shape on your little feet!
You hear your mother talking and you react to her voice.
You start to kick. You start to coo. It seems to make
I can hear the sound of your heart beat, and at hearing
it I fall in love. I take a moment to see what is now
going on in heaven above.
Yah smiles down upon you as a precious baby is starting
to take shape. Everything seems good so far, but hold up
A pain hits you hard. You're wondering what's the
commotion. You don't even know it, but your mom
is now having an abortion.
You don't deserve this. You're a precious baby. To be
born is the Father's will. But you don't even know it,
because now you are being killed.
The pain is killing you...unbearable pain, but what can
you do. It hurts too much to say this is what your mom
thinks of you.
Some think they know better, but your life began at
conception. Why do some think otherwise? Is it because
they fell victim to the devil's deception?
Look at you torn to pieces. I'm crying at the sight
of you. But it's a relief to your mother, she sees a
different point of view.
Another child dead. Another life gone. I can't control
my emotion. A precious gift from above is now the victim
of another abortion.
Every day she comes to visit her,
lifts the spoon to her thin lips.
Quietly she sleeps, silently she weeps.
Life arrested in its waning grip.
Every day she comes with hope
that something in her changes.
Silently she weeps, quietly she sleeps
The memories time rearranges.
Every day she comes and wonders,
will she wake today and speak?
Quietly she sleeps, silently she weeps
An imprisoned mind in body weak.
Every day she comes and touches
the woman like no other.
Silently she weeps, quietly she sleeps.
Maternal daughter, loving mother.
Why do I have all these bad thoughts in my head,
the worst one of all is wishing I were dead.
Every morning I wake up the thoughts are still there,
the more I sit and think about them,the more I just don't care.
I have been trying hard,for things to be the way they should,
maybe if I didn't care so much for once in my life I could.
My MOM was always number one in my life,but now that she is gone,
it has been hard for me to be able to move on.
Mama, I saw you in my dreams..
Your face lit up as I see you...
I remember how you protect me..
I remember how you tuck me as i want to sleep..
I remember how you hold me when i'm sick..
I remember how you smiled when i succeed..
And how you cry each time I'm broken...
Mama, I miss you...
I don't say, i love you much...
But I put it in many ways...
I want you be proud of me...
I want you not be scared of me...
Trust me, I can manage & pass any storm..
Trust me, I'll not give up..
Trust me, I am no child no more
Trust me, I'm putting into actions what you want me to be...
Mama, I wish we shared more hugs...
I wish we had more strolls...
I wish we sang more songs..
I wish we do gardening again..
I wish, I'll make your pastries again...
Mama, my only mama
I love you in thousand ways..
Carrying me nine months carefully...
Please on your birthday..
Be happy and merry...
I am your second daughter..
Who have been loving you better and better...
note: this poem is made and inspired by my mama, for whom have always been with me all the time and who have never stopped loving me.. thank you ma...
CONTEST: POEM FOR MOMMY
SPONSOR: LEONORA GALINTA
2ND PLACE (TO GOD THE GREATEST GLORY)
You stood in lightning, fire and wind
Across the field, upon the hill.
You shaded Mom and Dad’s last kiss
Before he traveled off to war.
You sheltered hawks and nesting squirrels,
And Mom as she knelt down to pray.
You stood against a starry sky,
A sentry in the night,
Strength she needed when he died
And left her with a son.
You are a pillar in my thoughts
As years have flown away.
You cast a shadow in the morn,
A sheltered path to follow,
And for my wish to wander down.
Will you stand for my son to ponder
Strong and proud upon the hill,
Steadfast in his gaze too?
My past is a reoccurring nightmare.
This cycle is never broken.
My heart is filled with poison,
So are your veins.
Chains hang off of me as I try to break free.
I have lost myself somewhere within the years.
Age crept up slowly, and I started to see my life;
It was not what I had expected.
With every whisper of ‘I love you’,
Another crack spread across my delicate soul.
Hardened by the years of abuse;
Nothing can hurt me now.
Stripped from my innocence;
My confidence shattered like broken glass.
There is no escaping this.
I feel alone and unloved.
I was taken off guard,
Your words were a promise of security;
Hope amongst a sea of sorrow.
You were just another lie.
Depression doesn’t sum up my pain.
Death would not heal it,
For I have responsibilities;
I have people who need me.
I long for the day that this rotation ends.
I can be loved for being myself.
I will be taken care of.
I will be yours.
I AM ALIVE!
Your mistake, my creation
In truth I am just speck
Flowering obliviously in your gut
Does that mean distraction?
My heart now beats
And I bear fits filled with my future
Waiting to be unleashed to the world unknown,
With my eyes wide shut
I imagine you to try and picture you
I hear you speak, I hear you laugh
Isn’t that the perfect lullaby?
My legs kick hard but you try to hide:
One night’s extravaganza
All under your T-shirt
Like it’s all in a day’s work
Don’t you want me mommy?
I am the gift you never asked for
But then life is to die for.
How I wish to write to Santa,
Have him deem my innocence
Before he awards me with my gift
I get life for Christmas?
Afford me the chance to be!
I am alive I breath through you.
From the day of birth,we are so innocent and fair,
With nothing on our minds, no troubles no cares.
Learning to talk was a major deaster,
For no one could tell exactly what was the matter.
We cry and we screem ,to show we are in pain,
They dont seem to understand and we though that was mean.
So of to the doctors we went that day,
Only to have the doctor tell Mom im ok.
Learning to walk got me bumps and bruses,
But its what we must do ,im sure no one chouses.
Climbing up the stairs , got me in trouble,
On the way down, i wished i were in a bubble.
After mastering that feat , it was off to school,
Because my mom said im not raising no fool.
In grade one i had a hard time with girls,
They would walk up to me and flick thier curls.
Things start to look up as i got older,
But you know those girls only got bolder.
They made me laugh,and they made me cry,
Some made me happy and filled with joy.
Then came love and next was marriage,
Two years time i was pushing a baby carriage.
Going back over my trials of life,
I knew my baby girl was in for a long fight.
But its the highway we all must travel,
In order to get to this level.
My little girl will be doing this one day,
Ill be in heaven watching her in every way.
You see im much older and dont have a lot of time,
To watch my two baby girls grow up and look so fine.
God is calling me to another life,
But he said on this highway ,there will be no strife.
Your fears and your troubles will all go away,
When you take this highway ,your with me to stay.
They will come joing you when its thier time,
But for now they must follow thier own minds.
So if you have kids , guide them with care,
They will grow up with nothing to fear.
Teach them right from wrong each day.
For the HIGHWAY OF LIFE isent always what they say.
He was standing there alone on the bridge
He must have been about twelve years old.
I asked, "What are you doing here, lad?
It's very dark and kind of cold."
"I'm not supposed to be out this late at night
But my mom and dad are having a fight
So I'm on this bridge and I don't know why
Seems like all I do anymore is cry.
You don't know what it's like
To hear the shouting every day
I love my mom and dad
But they say things they shouldn't say
I have a sister and a little brother
And we are only learning how to hurt each other.
If I was granted any wish that I could think of
All I would want is a home filled with love
Maybe my mom and dad could find it in their heart
To forgive each other and make a brand new start
Then our lives would be like they should be
And I could dump these feelings that are haunting me
Thanks, mister for listening to me talk
Can you give me a ride home. I'm afraid to walk
If you hadn't stopped, I wouldn't have seen daylight
You see, I was going to jump off that bridge tonight."
Sometimes a kind word or just listening for a few moments can make a
difference in someone's life.
Dear God, how did You sleep.
I had a dream and it made me weep.
Did You see it, it was so real.
I think it might even help me heal.
Anyway that dream last night
sure was kind of cool.
Except for the times
I acted the fool.
I was a whole lot younger
then I am now.
I was talking with my mom
and I was wondering how?
We sat at the kitchen table
and she had on that grin.
The one that always told me.
I know where you've been.
I could talk to her
about anything I ever did.
Not only when I grew up
But since I was a little kid.
She was the only one
on this whole entire earth.
Who made me feel like I belonged.
Who gave me a sense of worth.
We talked for hours.
We laughed and we cried.
I didn't leave the table
till the day that she died.
It was a roller coaster ride
of every high and low I could feel.
Then Lord You got out the projector
and then You put on the reel.
We watched home movies
and most of it was good.
You would fast forward
those parts that you should.
There was this one scene
where Jesus had a part.
Remember when I asked for Him
to come into my heart?
On a scale of 1 to 10
I would give it a ten.
But there was this one time
I don't remember when??
When I asked for Jesus to come into my heart
He walked right in like He belonged.
But what I didn't know then
was that He walked in with my mom.
I do not know?
The nurse ordered her to push, push, push
in her best proper voice
and linen balled in red fists knotted
and sweat falls from red face knotted
while Billy, head first, tugged and yanked by nurse's proper hands,
emerges, gently laid upon the blood soaked sand
motionless in the sulfur haze, almost well-behaved
amongst the rifle clatter and bewildered screams -
get down! get down! get down!
while Billy breathes slowly, undisturbed,
his eyes closed with new mom
gently caressing matted, cark curls,
her fingers, no longer knotted, extended,
Billy's tiny hands and infant fingers
grip the plastic ribbing
around the rifle barrel smeared in stickiness that flows out
from below Billy and onto sand, puddling, his lips chapped and parted,
suckling as new mom exhausted weeps
in relief of two arms and two legs and everything okay
as she holds him, hurting for him,
everything that might happen,
everything that will happen,
and she drifts off to slumber,
mother and child peacefully spent
in soft pretty colors
and the soft murmur of the television as the sedan
with government plates at the curb
and a Marine in dress blues (Oh, God) stands plastic in the doorway
and uses his best proper voice (Oh God, not Billy, Oh God)
to regretfully tell her,
and uses surprised hands to catch her when her legs
regretfully cannot hold her
and she sobs on the floor like a mother who outlived her son,
exhausted as the day Billy was born.
Screw this war.
Nobody knows the pain she hides,
No one cares to look inside.
This little girl that’s only nine,
Has to fight to stay alive.
Her mom’s an alcoholic,
And her daddy does drugs.
She gets beaten and bruised,
Instead of kisses and hugs.
Nobody hears the little girl’s cries,
Nobody notices her wet swelled eyes.
When her mommy is drunk and her daddy is high,
So she doesn’t get beaten, she has to hide.
She’s sick of the pain,
That she suffers from every night.
She’s sick of getting punished,
For her mom and dad’s fights.
So, she went downstairs and grabbed a rope,
And hung it way up high.
She stood on a chair and put her head through the noose,
And jumped and hung there to die.
Her mom came home drunk that night,
Her daddy came home high.
To find her hanging by the rope,
To find out she had committed suicide.
Nobody knew the pain she hid,
Nobody cared to look inside.
The little girl that had wet swelled eyes,
Committed suicide and no longer has to fight to stay alive.
Dear brother you were only 22
when the good Lord came calling for you
Water had consumed your last breath
Coroners said was a flashback from heroin and meth
I had always looked up to you
but your verbal abuse made me and the others feel blue
black hair hazel eyes man you look so like Elvis
imitating shaking your hips and pelvis
blisters and sores on your young pale face
oh boy how you had fallen from Gods grace
you had a little girl right after you died
Mom always stood by her and your girlfriend's side
first Grandpa then you Dad Mom and brother Bob
for my life now feels like I've been robbed
missed over 30 yrs of wishing you birthday greetings
now at the dinner table there is limited seating
but every year when your birthday comes and passes
I will be there to pick your grave site overgrown grasses
I wonder what you would look like today
or even if your hair would be full of grey
I have forgiven for all you had done to me
for I hold no regrets so your soul can be free
heres wishing you another birthday greeting
as I lay this card and rose at your grave site's seating
Please give Grandpa Dad Mom and brother Bob my love
for someday I will reunited with all of you above
For now I have my own little girl
for she is my own everyday world
I promise to tell her all about you
and how God will turn you into someone pure and new
Rest in peace my loving dear brother
heres another birthday wish I send in passion smothers
In Loving Memory Of
My Brother Gary
10/ 18/ 48
6 / 5 / 71
She was only five and this is what
happened when she was alive
Ser dad was a drunk her mom was an addict
They always kept her locked up in the attic
Her only friend was a toy bear
and it was old and worn with patches of hair
She always talked to it when nobody was around
she layed there and hugged it with not a peep of sound
Until her parents unlocked the door
some more pain she'll have to endore
Bruise on her leg scare on her face
why would she have to be in such a horrible place
She grabs her bear and softly cries
she loves her parents but they want her to die
She sits in the corner quiet but thinking
god why is my life always sinking
Such a bad life for a sad little kid
she got beaten and beaten for anything she did
And then one night her mom came home high
and she got beaten as the hours went by
Then her mom suddenly grabbed for a blade
it was sharp and pointy the one that she made
She thrusted the blade right in her chest
you deserve to die you worthless little pest
The mom walked out leaving the girl slowly dieing
she grabbed hey bear and again started crying
The police showed up at the small little house
and quickly barged in everything quiet as a mouse
One officer slowly opened a door
to find the little girl lieing on the floor
It must have been hard to go thourgh so much harm
but at least she died with her best friend in her arms
A child dies every day from child abuse and if you have an ounce of pity in your
heart for little auorura and you hate child abuse do something about it and let
them know that someone cares about them
Mom, you are my role model
Raising me to a young woman, from a little girl
Step by step, day by day
You've done a great job, in so many ways
When I need someone, you are always there
I never have to doubt that you care
I can always tell you what i'm thinking of
Mom, you have my love
You raised me the best you could
Took care of me like any good mother would
You brought me in this world, guided me through life
Giving me the things every kid needs to survive
You righted me when I was wrong
many times you helped me stay strong
Like many mothers, you've tried your best
And mom, i'd say you passed the test
Raising four girls by yourself
Must have been harder than I could inmagine
But obviously you knew just where to begin
And for that i'll love you to the end.....
A Mother’s Love…
How precious is the love
of a mother’s heart!
Even as a child… It’s there from the start.
A mother’s love knows
no boundary or limit.
It’s often shown by how
much the mother gives it!
Whether her children are
young or growing old…
And whatever circumstances
in life may unfold…
Her love is continually
a solid foundation…
That can’t be removed, torn or shaken.
Her love is what is
a “guiding force…”
Even if her children’s lives
stray “off course.”
I’m thankful for the love
my mother’s given…
It’s surely influenced
the way I’ve been livin’!
To all of our mothers across
our great nation…
May we show them our love
Their love has stood and
endured the test of time…
I’m so glad that one of them is MINE!
By Jim Pemberton
We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost half of how we came to be
We lost we four girls first love
We lost our Best Friend
We lost more than just a Dad that day
Our Mom lost her Soul Mate, Her other half
Our children lost their Papaw
We lost our family’s foundation
We lost the glue that held us together
We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost the Strongest man we ever knew
We lost the man we looked up too
We lost we four girls Teacher of many things
We lost more than just a Dad that day
We four girls lost our Hero
We lost some of our Light
We lost part of our Heart
We lost part of our Soul
We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost some of our Courage
We lost some of our Strength
We lost some of our will to fight back
We lost some of our will to carry on
We four girls lost more than a Dad
We lost more than just a Dad that day
Thank you – Zamreen Zarook
Thank you is a sweet word in the nature,
You may be a guy of adventure,
May be you are a person of agriculture,
What matters is your architecture.
Never forget the people, who guided you,
In no degree neglect who were with you,
Don’t ever overlook a creature, who gave a smile to you,
Because, you will meet them above you.
People forget the past due to selfishness,
They have no time to remember their unawareness,
Society, most of the times behave in awfulness,
They will understand when their lives come in to bitterness.
Be a person to thank and remember,
Don’t consider them as December,
Because, you might need them in November,
So, always be as a good subscriber.
Every heartbeat is bestowed upon,
Compassion embraces a child eternally
That uplifts a child’s soul in isolation in every way.
Have you ever written anything without sub combing to tears ?
My Family portrait in my mind , 2 older sisters , 2 brothers
My Mother caring about all five in different ways
Just with Mom & Dad there having the best of Holidays
My sisters laying out on the deck of river bank for 4th of July ~
Listening to " Honkey Chateau " and all by Elton John.
music a great memory ~Disco , Donna summer , Grease ~ Jaws !
Dad's records to Tony Bennett , Hank W Sr. , Count Basie & Louis Armstrong.
The music takes me home in a wagon filled with children and a dog "Lucky "
My Older brother , athletic , always fishing & hunting.
My younger , my Rock , Swimming and netting for fish,
feeding our Fat cat Perch off the rocks patiently awaits her food
the yelling , slamming of doors , tempers Flare , passion
Our Parents , passionate love yet passionate Hate .
After being a Family of Seven , Divorcing their fate ..
Why did that show " Dallas " bring out the Divorce in all ?
Scottish ~ Irish ~ French Iroquois ~ Cherokee
No matter what the mix ..Our curse Alcohol ~
the Screaming , Drinking , this memory I wish to shut the door on .
Going to A & W or making Cheerleading ,The Bears of course~
Excited in Chicago ! seeing Elton John in the Summer of 1976 ~
Cubs , museum of Wax , Museum of science & History , Pizza !
Expeditions of discovery ,little brother & I finding arrowheads on the Shore.
Our Grandparents Faithful Celebrations ! Chiffon cake , Apple strudel `
Our Cousins on Holidays , going for ice cream cones ,
scent of wet rain on oak leaves ~Before Halloween was bought in stores.
~ That is the Family I Love ,
that is the Family I choose to miss ~
im sorry ive caused you pain.
i thank you for sticking by me through everything.
and not giving up on me. i dnt no what
i would do if you had given up on me.
Im sorry ive lied to your face and you knew it,
but you still loved me the same as before.
so i thank you.
i dont know if i would be here with you if you had given up on me.
im sorry ive broken your trust over and over,
and you still wanna trust me.
i thank you again.
i dont know wat i would have done if you didnt trust me.
im sorry ive done things behind your back,
even though i promised you i would never do them.
im sure you knw but you never said anything.
i wish you would have. it would have saved us all alot of pain
i thank you for never giving up on me.
i dont no how to tell you how much i love you.
mom i love you sooooooo much you wont ever no how much i love u and thank you for everything
The Family That God Gave to Me
I think about the family,
that God gave to me...
And think about where
they'll spend eternity!
I think about the good times,
that we've had.
And the trials we've faced...
Both good and bad!
God helped us to overcome
And proved his faithfulness...
Today and forever!
He showed us the Godly path,
that we should follow...
And promised to be with us!
Today and tomorrow!
He's proven how
much he loves us!
And how much that he
cares for us!
Thank you my lord,
for all you do!
Where would we be?
If not for you?
You've proven yourself
over and over again!
Thank you so much,
for being our friend!
By Jim Pemberton
Weather is poised to slap us into submission.
Threatening with the largest storm in history
To make us aware of her power to destroy
And yet, here on the cusp of history,
Do I yet love Nature
With all of her wild and beautiful ways.
Her seas have been there for me in my times
Ever showing me the vastness of her being
She has ever been the Way
In all her present tense
My wilder spirit rises in answer to her challenges
Enhancing my life daily.
Let the Deicide commence.
You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.
I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways
Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own personal reality
Having leg pain
May mean legs not getting
Proper blood flow
Called Peripheral Arterial Disease (PAD)
What is PAD
With PAD arteries that carry blood to your legs
Feet or arms clogged with fats, others
Can slow or even stop blood flow
Common sign of PAD leg pain or cramping
Pain comes when you move
As you Walk, climb stairs or exercise
May go away when you rest
Healthy lifestyle can help
Provider may ask you to
Get regular exercise
Eat a heart healthy diet
Important to control problems
High Blood Pressure
Surgery is needed for PAD
The Old Salt was a special man who came along in a time
when he was needed most.
A time that is now gone forever.
When men believed and sacrificed, when hero’s walked the earth in mass.
When patriotism was not just a word
by what men lived and judged the worth of each,
a man who lived a life most of us cannot comprehend.
An era now gone as this warriors tour of duty ends at this station,
and begins anew in the heavenly fleet.
Sail on Sailor into your unaccompanied tour,
we salute you.
What greater honor, that when a man moves forward,
he leaves behind in each of us the best of what he was.
A defender, protector, supporter, victor, a warrior,
the last of the breed from an era when ships were made of wood
and men were made of steel.
The Old Salt has reported for duty that takes him away from us for now.
Those of us who remain behind,
remember, and will continue to remember,
because he now resides forever in our hearts.
As I look up at night, I envision The Old Salt,
a beret draped just above the eye,
as he draws upon his pipe,
quietly he waits.
The guardian of heaven’s gate.
Hell hath no replete replica like an Ohiohell
memom memoboys dispelled with lovelessloss lorn laments
measured in misgiven gravid neutral grautities of cool compromised cruel
capsid cascades of dreary demented drowsy dump deep demented deny desires
with wilfull wallowing in unsupposed not to be here
herein two boys born to a numbnuts army husbodad and a
WTF what is happening in/outside this family 50's acircle
what comes next in the uneducated female nonintuition of a
deaddad accidential with a pity piss payoff and a whatdoIdo anal attitude
totally in reverse of an arkansas hope of upheaveal. GDMFSOB, who could I/we haVE
BeeN in the assinine scheme of things with someone in an intersomewhateducated semistate of minimal MFconsciousness. We play the hand we are dealt in the vast unscheme of unness.
WTF, and where/why does God take part and lessen a small boy's dream of donated dadhood by taking it away and leave him left to faulterflounder in a boyhood abyss. Dead, devoid, denied to the manmale circumstance of what the future folds to be delivered to doting descendents, like my three sons. with whom I struggled to
shower, impart, enable, enbibe, instill, foster, enliven, and all that I did not experience yet faux provide with an inner soulsense to a measured milestone of mannered man manufactured love and tendered texture of all mine to give with that that is mustered macro from a micro counteanace of humocapped coperal deliverance. All's fair they say unless u have been there and then it's every man for himself---and then, I dare u to get in my way---------no holds barred, look out for I am a survivor, all the way.
Hi, my name is Dave, and according to my grandparents, I wasn't supposed to live to be raised. Go figure.