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Funny Son Poems | Funny Poems About Son

These Funny Son poems are examples of Funny poems about Son. These are the best examples of Funny Son poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Dramatic Verse | |

Attention: WORD NERDS--------- The Eight Parts of Speech

---------------------- "Word Nerds" (like me)...
************Please Have Fun & Read VERY Closely:)***********


now and again
a word 
sneakily obscure
approaches the fog in me
screams its name 
suddenly 
apropos adverbs appear
clearly 
startling 
perplexing 
precarious adjectives
slick little nouns
caught hiding 
beyond babbling brooks
sent to exile
defiling crooks
"pro"fessional nouns
jailed
beneath eight parts of speech
preposition'ed 
pre'fixed subjects
elusive predicates
slithering suffix'ation
turn-ing key
delicately 
through holes
freeing vocabulary
trapped 
within prison walls
synonyms 
pen bars 
filled in the past 
participles
plagued 
like Job's tedious job 
of siphoning
deciphering 
homographs from heteronyms 

words never mind...
 
they wind the mind
gliding 
in the wind...




Copyright © JSLambert Mister ROBOTO

Details | Rhyme | |

Mother May I

Mother may I 
Go out and play
My child
Have you cleaned your room today

Are your toys packed away
in your toy chest with care
Yes mother yes 
its all in there

Did you make your bed 
like i showed you how
yes mother yes
may I go now

Yes son yes
after a brief inspection
son shakes his head
not what I was expecting

Never-mind mother
I'm going to my room
oh by the way
can you hand me the broom?

Copyright © Lisa Bailey

Details | Light Poetry | |

' El Toro - Rojo '

Como’ Si’ Yama’, Senor’
Como’ Si Yama’, Por Favor’…
… for Below That Embroidered Sombrero’
Shone Eyes Like El Dorado

He Was A Tall and Handsome Hombre’
Like The Range of Sierra Madre’
…Now, He Sat Center The Cantina
Surrounded by Bonita – Senhoritas

He Smiled, “Buenos-Dias Senora’”
Por Favor, Por Que’ El-Hora’ ?...
If So, Have A Seat, Mi- Amiga’
And Mercedes, Bring Over More Cerveza

He Was… Rodrigo Reyes-Pacheco’
Best - of The West, of Vaqueros’
He Came to Compete in The Rodeos
And Win Fame and Fortune in Pesos’

He Came Thru El Paso De’ Tejas
Thru Dusty Rancheros and Mesas
To Ride on El Toro Rojo
Who Has Never Been Ridden Befo’…

La Viva’… Arriva’  … Rodrigo
The Brave and The Bold Caballero’
Champion Bull Rider, from Old Mexico
Vaya’… Con Dios’ !... Rodrigo

Now, El Toro Rojo, Was Dangerous
For Killing Men, El Rojo, Was Infamous
His Horns Had Pierced Many A Corazon
Ripped Flesh, Like It Was Piñata’ Hung

I Informed All of This To Rodrigo
The Hombre, Was Bent on Being Macho’…
… He Would Ride Toro Rojo, Manyana’
Said “Gracias”… But My Cares Were Por Nada’ !

La Viva’… Arriva’… Rodrigo
The Brave and The Bold Caballero’
Champion Bull Rider, from Old Mexico
Vaya’… Con Dios’!... Rodrigo

… Now, He Wasn’t Loco in La Cabeza’
I Just Didn’t Comprehende’ … “Que’ Pasa”
But I Saw Rodrigo Atop… El Rojo 
… ! He Rode Like A Latino – Tornado ! …

He Rode El Rojo, To The End…
Then, Turned ‘Round and Rode Him Again…
Rodrigo had Won… Just Like He Planned…
Because El Toro – Rojo …   …  Was Mexican !

La’ Viva’ … Arriva’ … Rodrigo
The Brave and The Bold Caballero
Champion Bull Rider from Old Mexico
Vaya’ … Con Dios ! … Rodrigo….
Vaya’ … Con Dios !... Rodrigo o o o o o


for Ruben Ortellao... 
I Don't Really Know 
What Your Branch of Humanity is... 
(Spanish, French or Other)
But I thought You Might Like 
This Whimsical Poem...  
Oh... And Thank You For Your 
Most Generous Comments... 
(Cause I Know You Are A Fantastic Poet... 
I've Read Several of Yours 
and I Love Them Too...)

 (P.S.  Excuse the Spelling... 
I'm Spanish Illiterate (Smile)
MoonBee

Copyright © MoonBee Canady

Details | Light Poetry | |

' Boot-Legged Mama '

Mama and Daddy was always Love-Dovey
She is His Sweetheart – He is Her Honey
First Love… Real Love  -  Forever True
Pa… I Pray to find A Man Like You…

Daddy Laughed and Put His Arm Round My Shoulder
And Said, “I’ll Tell You Somethin’, Now You’re Older
It’s got to do with Your Mother’s Fame
And Why I gave Her, The Nickname…

               … Boot-Legged Mama

                  Boot-Legged Mama
Blue-jean Shorts and Vintage Tony Lama
Walked thru the Door… of A Liquor Store
… Packaged so Pretty… Pa Just had to Pour

               … Boot-Legged Mama

Ma… Was there, to get 6-packs for A Party…
Pa… Was there, ‘cause of a Taste for Bacardi
He took One Look and Knew He Couldn’t Waste Her
Pa… Gave-up ‘Drank’… Just so He Could Chase her !

Dad, Said, ‘He’d Drowned in Dark-Eyes and Sweet-Aroma
Fine-Wine, Crystal… But Tuff’ Nuff’ to Down-Drama
Pa Claims, Mama’s Labeled by the F.D.A.
And Listed on Her Driver’s License is,  A.K.A.  …

               … Boot-Legged Mama

                  Boot-Legged Mama
 Genuine Woman, Who Made Him Wanna’
Take Her to be His Lawful Moonshine
… Married at Midnight – ‘cross The County-Line

               … Boot-Legged Mama

Alcohol’s in Trauma;  and Prohibition Told Her:
"Boot-Legged Mama… Done Drove Pa Sober !"
Now, Homemade-Hooch… is His Acquired Taste
180 Proof… Kicked All Over His Case !

Right Then, Mama Flowed into The Room
Pa, Teased and Said, “Still Full-Bodied and Perfumed !
Ma Hugged Us, then Handed Me – Old Boots and A Dress…
    (and good advice)… “Go Git’ My Elliot Ness…

               … and be a Boot-Legged Mama!

( Hey !... Did I Hear Somebody, In A Country Drawl ….
          Order Up A Bottle of Kicking Alcohol !
         Well, Here She Is… Y'all ! ...
                  Boot-Legged Mama ….

Well John (Moses) Freeman... You Said You Needed
Somethin' :)  to Read tonight, before kicking up your
heels...  Well, Here It Is (Have Fun - Son)

MoonBee 

 (Thank You For All Your Wonderful Comments
Now, I Can't Get Thru The Door for My Ego.. (Smile)

Copyright © MoonBee Canady

Details | I do not know? | |

A Son, a Father and a Donkey (2005)

A young son, a father and a donkey journey across the land
The father rides upon the donkey
They walk through rain, sunshine and hot sand
A villager yells from the top of her voice
“Selfish boy, let your poor father ride, get up and stride”
So he did as he felt he had no choice
Hours past and they went to a stall for a refreshing drink
“That poor donkey carrying your weight, you should get off him don’t you think?”
Everyone in the bazaar looked and shook their head
The father got off and they both walked instead
They struggled along the sandy dusty breeze
They heard laughter coming from behind the trees
 “Fools”!It was a group of schools girls laughing as they talk
“They have a blooming donkey and those idiots still walk!”
More children gathered to join in the fun 
They paused and thought what should be done? 
By the time they thought of the solution everyone had gone
The moral of the story is you can’t please everyone 

poemsbyrb@hotmail.com

Copyright © R Kumari

Details | Burlesque | |

Redneck FATHER'S DAY------

***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***



"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 woo-hoo!
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 wha'th'a?
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 shoot! 
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ya'here?
 besides...
 ta'days father's day!" 



© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire

   









Copyright © JSLambert Mister ROBOTO

Details | Ballad | |

Rubber Duckie

Rubber duckie you're the one
You're the reason I'm the one
Rubber duckie
You're the one for me

Copyright © Eve Anderson

Details | Rhyme | |

The Happy Dress

It’s a mother-in-law’s right, her prerogative 
To ‘drop in’ on her son almost any time,
But a mother-in-law should always be prepared
For almost anything she may find.

So, Mother Cready dropped in unannounced;
But as she approached her son’s front door,
Suddenly it opened.  “Ta Da!  Do you like my happy dress?”
His young wife stood there in her ‘all in all’…nothing more.

“Oh, my word!” Mother Cready exclaimed with surprise.
“Why are you naked?  Are you insane?”
Just as surprised, the young wife pulled her inside.
“Please, Mother Cready…if you’ll just let me explain.

You see, when Mac has had a rough day,
When he’s been under a lot of stress,
Sometimes I meet him at the door
With a smile and a kiss in my happy dress.

It always relaxes him and makes him happy,
Then he makes me very happy too.
It works for Mac and me, Mother Cready;
Maybe it would work for you.”

“We’re too old for such.” scoffed Mother Cready.
“Perhaps if we were young like the two of you.”
But, on her way home, she decided
She was definitely going to try it too.

So, she bathed and put on some nice perfume,
Fixed her make-up and her hair.
She was thinking some very sexy thoughts,
But she had to hurry…no time to spare.

She heard her husband’s car in the driveway;
And as he approached their front door,
She threw it open.  “Ta Da! Do you like my happy dress?"
She stood there in her ‘all in all’…nothing more.

She saw a little grimace cross his face,
But that was not the worst.
Then he said, “I appreciate your happy dress, my dear;
But maybe you should have ironed it first.”

ALTERNATE LAST VERSE

“Well…your ‘happy dress’ could use some ironing;
But my birthday suit could use some starch.”
He kissed her. “Bet you and I can work it out.”;
And off to bed they marched.

Copyright © Robert Candler

Details | Limerick | |

Best School Play Ever

I cannot afford to miss
A school play such as this.
My son plays a big tall tree.
My daughter plays a bumble bee.
At the end a pig and a hippo kiss.

Copyright © Jerry Stevenson

Details | List | |

Rules in the eyes of a toddler

If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed, stepped on or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, must make her dirty
If it is sibling, must slap,kick,and fight.
If it has four legs, must squeeze tight until makes noise
If big person is on phone, must make lots of noise
If tv is not on cartoons, scream until they are
If food is not good, throw it, refuse to eat it and cry until big people give you something good

Copyright © mandy cabral

Details | Narrative | |

MAMA CAT AND HER GANG

My son and his family drove down from the big city,
out to the countryside with open fields and steams.
They brought their standard golden poodle along, 
a curly-haired fellow, name of Timmy.
Timmy had never seen a cat;
not even a mole or a furry rat.
Visiting country kin, he was checking things out.

Everything went fine that very first day.
Cats went about paying him no mind.
He walked about just passing time.
On that second day there was a big mistake.
Being a city dog with more worldy ways,
to add pleasure to his hum-drum days,
he thought it time to befriend these country kin.
 
The cats had never seen a dog this small,
only those on stilts, big, long and tall, 
like Pyrenees, big wide mouths and teeth to match.
With barking big dogs on the scene,
up a tree they squirreled, never to be seen.
But this golden-haired fellow, with city clout--
they’d give him benefit of instinctive doubt.

Mama cat was even so bold 
to sniff this city slicker right on the nose.
Sizing him up all the while, a friendly rat, she surmised,
a might bigger than some she had seen,
playing cat and mouse, yet acting so coy;  
that is, until that overgrown golden-haired rat  
walked up to Mama’s black baby boy.

Mama’s two other sons, another black and a blue,
began to gather nearer this city dweller, too.
Timmy politely extended his nose.
black son cat extended his razor-sharp claws,
with a bristled tail and fierce hissing jaws. 
Timmy let out with a painful yelp,
as Mama cat called all boys in for help.

Cats surrounded and gave chase to the dog,
life-fearing circles around the cedar tree he’d log;
four hissing cats hot on his tail,
poor Timmy yelping in a desperate wail.
The master of Timmy gave rescue,  
but Mama cat and her three grown sons,
strutting in pride, putting a dog on the run. 



Written by:  Carolyn Henderson
For Constance LaFrance's Cat Poem Contest
Won 9th Place

Copyright © Carolyn Henderson

Details | Light Poetry | |

Granny Tipping

My son is getting older, and he just went back to College, the other day.
But he had enjoyed the summer, by adding a new game to his daily play.
He called it Troll Tipping as daily he targeted another, and wore him out.
By dinner, the Troll would fall asleep, as my son claimed his dessert, so devout.

But wearing out a Troll, is not such an easy thing, so many a night, a Troll got his.
What a shame! But as a resourceful college man, at devising plans he was a whiz.
He offered them a Fun Filled Tip, yes, a way to get others, to do their daily chores.
The cost to each individual Troll, was their sweet dessert, that night, nothing more.

He was doing great, as he ran thru many a Troll, but then our suspicions did unfold.
You see, this bred unrest, as a number of fights started, amongst our beloved Trolls.
Scheming isn’t sharing, so Grandpa Troll had a TALK, life changing, or so it’s told.
But Boys are boys, and desserts were to be had, so he made a new plan, quite bold.

You might say he invented Granny Tipping, yes, now it was MY dessert, on the line.
Now this would be quite simple, for at my age, I can easily, become tiredly inclined.
But the one thing he’d forgot: is how crafty age had made this old one, in her efforts. 
As dinner wound down, I cued Grandpa Troll, to help deliver, those delicious desserts.

I told my son, that they were made to be his favorite, simply in honor, of his behalf.
Then I pretended to fall asleep, and he quickly took my dessert, with a joyous laugh.
Then suddenly his eyes grew big! And I awoke, looking him quite clearly, in the eye.
I lied that, I added laxatives and terrible cod liver oil, to my dessert nightly, yes, so sly. 

Making them easier to swallow, but if he wanted more dessert, he only had to ASK.
He quickly sped away, to wash that terrible taste, out of his mouth, a daunting task!
And we all had our chance to laugh at him… as the joke was finally on him, at last.
I call this, Bad Behavior Tipping, and from that day to this, he asks for more, at last!

The game seemed to lose its luster that day, yes, manners did a BIG, comeback.
The moral is to politely ask… Playing clever little games… is NEVER for the best!

Copyright © Carol Eastman

Details | Verse | |

Family Dinner

Everyone is dressed just right,

with our smiles slapped on tight,

we are having a family dinner.

The mood is tense,

yet we have to make sense,

and we can always talk about the weather.

 

We blow kisses and show our love,

everything is just right.

We shower praises over each other,

and pray that the night is over without a flight.

 

Ignore the bitter-in-law,

she needs some sugar.

She vowed to deny herself happiness,

since she lost her lover.

 

Pay attention to the chatty uncle.

He claims to be rich although he eats like a savage.

just nod your head and seem interested,

and hope the topic does not turn to marriage.

 

Sit away from the young brother,

once an answer to his question, he is on to another.

To the old man he asks,"So what do you do?"

and to the orphan child,"Where is your mother?"

 

The room is beautiful, the food is delicious,

a night with our near and dear.

This could well be the perfect family dinner,

but only the flowers in the room seem real.

Copyright © Karan Patade

Details | Light Poetry | |

Rainbows and Football

There’s a special whimsy place inside of each and every Troll.
And a rainbow will bring it out the best, if I may be so bold.
The Aurora Borealis makes them want to jump and sing.
But bring out a fancy rainbow, and they’re off, for it, to seek.

Apparently, it’s the colors that draw them to its beautiful lights.
So my son got out his prism, and played with the Trolls, late last night.
He had them hooping, and hollering, then scurrying across the floor.
Then he sent the prism to somewhere else, you can be, so sure.
Off they would go again, the winner bumping the others out of the way.

My cats couldn’t have done it better, but were smart and stayed away.
It’s not healthy to get in the middle, of a group of trolls found in play.
It didn’t seem to matter, that they couldn’t put it in their hands.
But they never gave up trying, to win the ultimate prize and upper hand.

Fortunately, they were in the barn with plenty of room to swing and fly.
Where walls can be replaced, and poles are easy, there, to mend and buy.
Of course, my son was in deep trouble, and would have to repair everything.
But the trolls didn’t seem to mind helping to put every thing back, again.

And the carpenter called to fix the posts was, you can guess, the football coach.
Apparently he thinks, they’d make great linebackers, to protect the quarter back.
All he seems to think they’ll need… is a little focus… I say good luck with that!
But he’ll have them working every day, till hell freezes over, before he gives up.

That does bid the question… Where did all those football players come from?
Could they be trolls, lumbering down those fields, in those professional teams?
Those fancy uniform colors, definitely, are like the prisms colors brought to life…
Could it be? Who would of thunk it? Yes, they are there… I certainly, Do Believe!

Copyright © Carol Eastman

Details | Pantoum | |

FORTY RUSTY PENNIES

I found forty rusty pennies in a black leather slipper
while my itchy nose sneezed more than three times;
why were they hidden from thrifty mother?
Weren't they less valued than silver dimes?


While my itchy nose sneezed more than three times,
mom woke up to scold me for my loud laughter;
she was mad and wanted to hear anything but lies
and frantically screaming, she pulled my curly hair. 


Mom woke to scold me for my loud laughter,
I tripped on the slipper, falling flat as a bear, 
and frantically screaming, she pulled my curly hair;
with an angered face, I retrieved to my dark lair.


She was mad and wanted to hear anything but lies,
mom woke up to scold me for my loud laughter;
with an angered face, I retrieved to my dark lair...
I found forty rusty pennies in a black leather slipper.

Copyright © Andrew Crisci

Details | Limerick | |

MOTHER GOOSE'S THE PIPER'S SON


I read a rhyme and I was so vexed
I feel that Old Mother Goose was hexed,
Didn't condemn this thief
And this brought me grief,
But he got beat up by Old Man Tex.


Tom the Piper's son stole pig and ran
This little boy acts like a big man,
Protective services
Moves him from premises,
Now the Piper smokes all that he can.


He sent his son Tom to go and steal
I wouldn't mind if 'twas for a meal,
But we all knew that it
Was to support his habit,
I think he should be locked up for real.

Copyright © JACQUELYN STURGE

Details | Rhyme | |

Personal Shopper aka Mom


Mom - Personal shopper

Not too big .
Not too tight.
You know , I want it to fit just right .

Nothing blue , red or green .
You know , something more in between .

No stripes , plaids or pastels
You know , just something I'll like really well .

No team logos , pockets or long sleeves. No super heroes or slogans.
 "No rock bands !....please!!!!"

Nothing to bright . And "I don't wear black ." 
Nothing scratchy or rough or hangs on a rack .
Absolutely .... "No slacks !"


Nothing that needs tucked in , ironed or pressed .
There is my list Mom , you know what's best . 
Studying thoroughly , as if it some test .

The things on this list , most would need graphed , 
by a team of professors educated in math .
Who'd believe shopping could make someone daft .
Though serious business , it does makes me laugh !


                         1 / 27 / 2015



 






Copyright © Bev Smith

Details | Rhyme | |

Ice-Cream Baseball

 As a new father I coached my little league son
 He was clumsy and uncoordinated
 Picked dandelions in the outfield
 Watched bumble bees fly and hum
Would run to a grounder and watch it stop
pick it up to throw it but it would drop
He enjoyed his team mates for they were friends 
He struck out more than hitting the ball
Funny thing was he would always run whether he did or not
How I wanted him to hit the ball so hard 
Perhaps a grand- slam homerun for him and my heart
But the greatness was in him- he was part of the team 
 His greatest joy was afterwards
When we’d all go get ice-cream

Copyright © Mark Goodson

Details | Lyric | |

Werewoman of Brooklyn

When the moon is full
I show a certain inclination
It’s way worse than PMS
A truly hairy situation

My fur’s soft as silk
I get a bit hirsute
Me and others of my ilk
Are in wolfish pursuit

Ahh – Oooooh – Werewoman of Brooklyn
I’m a lady lycanthrope
But I’ll rip out your throat
Ah – Oooooh – Werewoman of Brooklyn
I’ll fulfill your dreams
If you don’t mind a few screams

It’s true I’ll tear you up 
If you dare cross me
An alpha female
Ain’t no one can boss me

Me and my weregirls
Hang out at Brighton Beach
Go moonbathing at midnight 
Attack anyone within reach

Ahh – Ooooooh – Werewomen of Brooklyn
From Flatbush to Cozine
Prospect Heights to Fort Greene
Ahh – Ooooooh – Werewoman of Brooklyn
Yeah, we’re representin’
No intention of repentin’

I have a special someone
My friends say it’ll never work
I should stick to my own kind
And while I know I really oughta
She’s Dracula’s daughter
Her love bites are so fine!

Ahh – Oooooh – Werewoman of Brooklyn
I’m a lady lycanthrope
But I’ll rip out your throat
Ah – Oooooh – Werewoman of Brooklyn
I’ll fulfill your dreams
If you don’t mind a few screams



For Carol Brown's Funny Spooks Contest

Copyright © Corinne Curcio

Details | Rhyme | |

"There's A Monster In Me Room"

He lay in his bed 
Trembling with fear
Scared of the monsters
That may be near

He called for his dad
And said “I’m scared”
He went under the blankets
And covered his head

“Where’s no monsters son” 
“Not in this house here”
They are scared of me 
“Cause I’ll box their ears”

With his son reassured 
Dad switched off the light
Kissed son on the head 
And said “Goodnight”

An hour later
Came a scream from the room
Dad runs up stairs
And bursts in with a boom

There stood a monster
A Hideous gore
On this occasion it wasn’t
Larry’s mother-in-law

Dad didn’t show his fear
He kicked it on the knee
The monster screamed
As it started to bleed

Then dad pulled it’s nose
And smacked it on the head
The monster was in tears
And this is what it said:

“You hitting” it roared 
“That’s not fare”
“You hurt me knee”
“And pulled out a hair”

“You big bully”
“Why you doing this?”
“I just came in here”
“To give the child a kiss”

Dad rushed to the switch 
And on came the light
He saw the monster
A terrible sight

Dad’s eyes popped
And knew it was the end of his life
It was a crossed eyed woman
The one he called his beloved wife

Copyright © Sidney Hall Mad Poet

Details | Couplet | |

Little Children

Oh, what a joy little children are ! Juice in the video, sick in the car. Untidy bedroom, scattered toys, girls playing nurses with little boys. Dogs' tails being pulled, a cat's on fire, interrupting the moments of love and desire. Passing the blame for their little crimes, playing with frogs all covered in slime. Screaming their heads off in a plush restaurant, having a tantrum when refused what they want. Arriving home late covered in mud, not going to bed when they know they should. Non-stop talking while dad's watching telly, splashing the walls with ice-cream and jelly. Chocolate stains on their Sunday best, painting funny pictures on granddad's vest. Why do parents' voices echo from afar, Oh, what a joy little children are !

Copyright © Ken Duddle

Details | Limerick | |

Thus, Fate Avengeth

Henry VIII desireth an heir.
Wife after wife, nary son hath wives bourne.
Thusly, he cut off each head.
Findeth a new wife instead.
His sole son hath been born from an affair.

Copyright © Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Details | Light Poetry | |

Orphan Troll- Space Dreams

One day a little orphan Troll followed my son, home from school.
No doubt, we'd keep him, he was so cute, as he sat down and mewled.
He seemed so young, and carried around his club made out of wood.
In fact, he kept chewing on it, as only a little baby with a pacifier could.

He hit it off real good with my younger son, you might say.
He followed him all around, like a lost puppy here to stay.
One night my son got out his greatly treasured, astral telescope.
Together they viewed the Pleiades Meteor shower, way up close.

OOhh’s and AHH’s were everywhere as all gathered around, to see.
You could hear the Trolls exclaim, ‘Shiny baubles in the sky, for free!’
This went on almost forever, until everyone finally went off to bed.
The next morning, the telescope was missing, and finding it, I did dread.

The house rules had been broken, you know, ‘Take not, what is not Thine’.
I knew who had taken it; the young one simply couldn’t resist it, this time.
I found him still asleep with the telescope, still held solidly within his grasp.
I gently explained the rules, but he had trouble letting go, as tears grew fast!

Shiny baubles are soooo important, and not easily given up, you know.
And he thought the shiny baubles were still tucked deeply inside, all aglow.
I’m lucky that I got there, before he started to forcibly pry them out.
Then I had an idea, on what I needed to do, to gently win this bout.

I had him look inside, and he was surprised the shiny baubles, were all gone.
Of course, in basement bedrooms you won’t see, too many stars, turned on.
So, I told him our house was enchanted, and stolen shiny baubles, I did fear…
Would simply disappear, just like the tiny bubbles he liked to blow, my dear.

Reluctantly, he gave the telescope back to my son with abundant apologies.
And everyone’s life went back to normal… or at least, as normal as it can be.
Still, he looked at it with longing from time to time, and that broke my heart.
So, surprise! Surprise! Santa brought him his very own, and mounted it, outside.

He was so very happy, as he dreamed of becoming a future astronaut, someday.
Where, he would just simply reach out of his great, big space ship every day,
And collect all of the many, shiny baubles, one by one, along the way.
Good dreams to all my readers, like my little Troll here, 

And keep all of your dreams alive...  all the days of your life, so dear...


CSEastman

Copyright © Carol Eastman

Details | Verse | |

Two Wailing Babies

So delicious my baby's right cheek
looked
to his brother

Of course he took a hard bite
on that
soft sweet sight

His cruel curiosity was confused,
amused
it's too easy to hurt

My baby threw a wail mile high
his brother
jumped...a fearful cry.

Copyright © Misheel Chuluun

Details | Blank verse | |

Old son, Young Dad

He died forty
with strength and wit
He left a son Young and young

He died nighty 
With bones no teeth
He left a boy pale and forty

They meet in paradise
Dad still forty
Son at nighty
Dad thought it was grand pa
Son thought he was grand son
Who had died also

Copyright © Rodgers Roger Carter

Details | Rhyme | |

I Want A Beer

Even though I've been helping you and working hard,
you won't give me a beer after I've mowed your yard.
I'm hot, sweaty and dying of thirst.
You've done some bad things but this is the worst.
When you asked for my help, I shouldn't have come here.
You offered me a glass of water but what I want is a beer.
You love your damn beer so much that you won't even give me one.
I would kick your ass up and down the street if you weren't my son.
I have something to say and you'd better listen to me.
Don't ever expect me to mow your yard again for free.

(This is a fictional poem)

Copyright © randy johnson

Details | Verse | |

Randomlings 1-33


Randomling 1:  Matthew Macfadyen

I believe I'm in love with Matthew Macfadyen
He inspires in me a terribly bad yen
But as poetry goes
His name 'spires woes
Cause nothing rhymes with "Macfadyen”.


Randomling 2: Birthday Wishes
  
For my birthday, I would like a man.
I wonder---can you get one from a can?
Or maybe from a catalog?
Maybe I'll just get a dog.

Randomling 3: Yet Another Cat Poem

Cats:
toddlers in fur
senior citizens with retractable claws
lions in their own minds
lunch in the minds of dogs.

Randomling 4:  Desert Woes

A sage river in a field of sand:
         so flows hope in a barren land;
                   the crippled heart in prosthetic steel,
                             hacked and scarred, a vulture’s meal.

Randomling 5:  Dark Poetry

Follow poetry to its source;
There find heartbreak and remorse.
Follow poetry to the bitter end,
And there find death, its bosom friend.

Randomling 6: Ode to Bananas

Bananas
an underappreciated fruit
sentenced to banananality
because yellow is their long suit.


Randomling 7: Untitled  

Sorry,
this heart is closed to deposits.
There's no more room for pain.

Randomling 8: Untitled

My heart is sealed in a cold steel vault,
and I’ve lost the combination.

Randomling 9: Joyce Kilmer 2015

I think that I shall never see
A man as useful as a tree.
One has uses by the score;
The other one is apt to snore.

Randomling 10:  Bedtime Prayers

Now I lay me down to sleep,
A leaden heart is mine to keep.
If I should die before I wake--
Now there’s an offer I’d gladly take.   

Randomling 11:  The Devil Wind

Tornadoes
Fury with a smoky tail
Eddies of destruction
Deceitful beauty, enchanting danger
Death sporting a makeover
____________________________________________________________________________________
DON'T READ #12 IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ME TALK TO MY SON ABOUT CERTAIN ASPECTS OF THE BIRDS AND BEES_________________________ 



Randomling 12:  A Boy's Best Friend

Your penis—it is not a toy
I told my little son.
O yes it is, he parried me
It's quite my favorite one.

Randomling 13:  Fault Lines

I have a bathroom mirror
that's grown faulty over time.
My reflection is no longer true;
it's developed little lines!

Randomling 14:  Shakespeare 101		

“To be or not to be. That is the question.”
--What question?
THE question!
--Whaddya mean, THE question?
Never mind.																		

Randomling 15: Christmas?

Peace on earth to men of good credit
Who give the gift of corporate profit
in the holy name of commercialism.

Randomling 16:  Musical Believer

Though my conscience sleeps,
wrapped in the Valium of
agnosticism, it awakens to 
the music of Mozart--
once more knowing God
by the sound of His voice.

Randomling 17: Vacuum

I didn't write a poem when you died.
The words would not come.
Perhaps I felt too deeply,
perhaps not enough;
or
maybe I died too.   10/06/01

Randomling 18: Insanity

Insanity is underrated
Its drawbacks,much overstated.
How else to do what you darn well please
And accomplish it with so much ease?

Randomling 19: Dog Day Afternoon

WATER! BALL! CHASE!
salt, waves, undertow
I don't know what's going
on here, but I'm HAPPY!

Randomling 20: Opposites Attract

i am matter---love, antimatter
never to meet save to explode
i am space, love is time
parallel dimensions never to meet

Randomling 21: Puppy Love

I ride a leaky newspaper raft
Adrift on the linoleum
Anxiously awaiting an
An attack of smelly
squirming happiness
covered in fuzz:
Puppy love.

Randomling 22: Newton's Poultice

Apple falls from tree
Newton (ouch!) takes notice
Comes up with law of gravity
while wearing a poultice
on the solstice

Randomling 23: Ticking

And the clock on the wall kept on ticking
while my life fell apart all around me.
Sweet memories faded to shadow
as my heart fell to pieces inside me.
And the clock on the wall kept on ticking
Relentlessly ticking, ticking
While my life fell apart all around me.

Randomling 24: Untitled

eternity
a mosaic assembled from
shimmering, glimmering
tiles of delight and
black-glazed stones of despair
interlocking snowflakes
in seamless beauty

Randomling 25: Seasonal Lament
Daylight shrinks end at both end as summer falls into the arm of winter. arm
Randomling 26: Untitled
I didn't want to love you.
Randomling 27: Pills Depression is days and nights curled fetal-like in a dark room, no interest in the world outside, idly wondering if there are enough pills in the bottle to kill you, then thinking it's not worth the effort to find out because you're dead inside already. Randomling 28: Guilt By Association Fresh morning light frames the cat, surrounded by piles of dirt and deceased plants, looking innocent. Randomling 29: Bell the Cat How do you give a cat a bath? Maybe you can do the math. All I know is she stinks to high heaven. And of us there are only seven. How many humans to bathe a cat? Definitely more than where we're at! Randomling 30: Muse
I want to write a poem using the word gossamer. “Gossamer.”
Randomling 31: Ripples
Canoes rock gently under the waxing moon. Black water ripples, painting a beautiful scene under the scented pines.
Randomling 32: Sunshine Waterfall I cleanse my face in a sunshine waterfall, luxuriate in a sunshine shower. Waterfall flow and warm me; sprinkle lemon drops through my hair. Randomling 33: Salon Treatment Hurricanes scour everything they touch, then rinse and blow dry.

Copyright © Mary Oliver Rotman

Details | Rhyme | |

real story

Once upon a time there was a son and his mum
He wanted to marry and mother agreed in a glum
But asked her sunny to show her a photo 
Of  that heart fighter from Rome or Kyoto
The son brought three photos 
Three creature of God
Three pearls from ocean,
Three petals from roses. 
And told that one is whom he dreams
 Whole nights losing sleep
Described his feelings so pure and deep
Look here my dear, look here my maa
 One is too close to my heart and others so far.
I wonder could you find
Which of them is my sweet heart
Do Mums know sons test
As somewhere I heard.
Mum looked at photo
For several minutes
And said: “she is!”
The sun was so shocked –
“How clever mum is?!”
“How did you guess about it
They all bonny and fair
If ones eyes are like diamonds
Second is milky white
Third is waved hair”.
How you could find my lover
From the only attempt
So easy and clear 
As in her brow was a stamp?
Did you like her eyelids what makes me mad?
Or liked her chicks as liked you dad?
“NO” said a mother with disgruntled face:
“When I look at this girl I am nervous”
 




 


Copyright © Gulnoza Odilova

Details | I do not know? | |

Country Christmas

“Country Christmas Carol”      ---  dedicated to my family

 by  Miriam  McCue (creator of flamingo art, & poetry.so far.)

We love to sing Christmas songs,
My Grandson Bubba and I.
And when we sing Country Christmas.
We almost make the angels cry.

A Merry Country Christmas
To all those great Country Folk,
And even to the City Slickers,
Who also love to drink and smoke.

We’ll take a drink for Bubba, Aunt Mike and Cousin Jim, 
And hope that this Christmas,
They’ll say a prayer and sing a hymn.

Gather round the still, 
Country People all.
 And hold up Uncle Bill
So the old coot doesn’t fall. 

A Merry Country Christmas, 
One full of country joy.
Little Willie wanted a 12 gauge,
But all he got was a toy.

Copyright © Miriam McCue

Details | Haiku | |

NFL Golden Child Injured


Finished before start Colts fans leap from Bandwagon Peyton Manning's hurt

Copyright © JSLambert Mister ROBOTO