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Funny Lyric Poems | Funny Poems About Lyric

These Funny Lyric poems are examples of Funny poems about Lyric. These are the best examples of Funny Lyric poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Limerick | |

His funeral

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."


Details | Lyric | |

Oh Uhura - To Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah

There was a Starship Enterprise,
It was the ruler of the skies,
But you don't really care for sci-fi, do you?
With Captain Kirk
And Mr Spock
And don’t forget the trademark jock,
And there upon the bridge you’ll find Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura 
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

You’ll find Bones Macoy down in sickbay,
“I’m a doctor Jim” he’d say,
And cure whatever space bug ran through you,
He’ll banish away every cough,
Even if your name’s Chekov,
Or perhaps you might be sweet Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

To make the starship up and go,
The man you really need to know,
Is the Helm officer called Sulu,
But if it’s a message you’d like to send,
Then of course you can depend,
Upon the talented Miss Uhura,

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

Your voyage lasted three short years
But despite the trekkie’s fears,
It wouldn’t be the last time that we’d view you,
Of feature films there’d be twelve,
Before the franchise they would shelve,
But we won’t forget you dear Uhura

Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura

Oh Uhura


Details | Light Poetry | |

Glutton

This's the world of dreams  and 
reveries
Where I think ev'ry that reels,
After a thousands times,
would as same beliefs things 
besought me,
Is it a mere dream? 


Details | Lyric | |

A Piece Of Lace

[Verse-1]
I watched you walk by yesterday, and yes again you turned and looked away
You never give me the time of day, and you're always looking sad and grey
A small piece of lace from your pink dress, is all that's left of you and me
Wish I could take back yesterday, when I went astray and set you free
I wish I could find the words to say, instead of making you look away
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Verse-2]
I know that I still need your love, because my heart is always feeling blue
And I guess I'll never be the same, for playing around and being untrue
You gotta know this isn't what I wanted, cause now I'm always on my knees
But I can see how you like your freedom, of being with him and not with me
But baby a twist of fate's what tore us apart, and placed this look upon my face
Oh! it's still funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Chorus]
A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Verse-3]
All those things that you used to do, is what made me fall in love with you
You gave me your all once upon a time, but like a fool I up and flew
And the things I went and said that day, made you fade and drift away
I never shoulda treated you that way, cause baby I need you here today
The sun keeps hiding behind the clouds, and all I do is sit and cry
And this piece of lace holds my heart at bay, I don't know...maybe it's a sign

[Chorus]
A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace


Details | Lyric | |

"The Nausea-go-round."

Up, down, up, down
Oh what a ride,
Round and round, round and round,
I've got quite a feeling inside,
Ever constant revolutions,
My stomach just gave me a hunch.
Up, down, around, RETCH!!!
Oh dear, I've just lost my lunch.


Details | Lyric | |

You Won't Tell Them How You Lied

[verse-1]
Tonight it feels like, the end of the world
Tonight you showed me, you were never my girl
I wonder do you know, what my heart is doing
Well girl it's breaking in two, since you've gone

[verse-2]
Go ahead tell those lies, to all your friends
Go ahead tell them, what a big fool i've been
I wonder will you tell them, you have a heart of stone
Or will you call them, and joke about me on the phone

[chorus]
Well be sure to tell them, how you broke my heart
And how funny it was, when I set down and cried
Tell them how, you tore my world apart
'Cause I know, you won't tell them how you lied

[verse-3]
You're gonna have to be careful, when you're drinking
You're gonna have to be sober, when you're bragging
You'll have to learn to shut your mouth, when your wasted
Or everyone will no your a liar, and how your mind is twisted

[chorus]
Well be sure you tell them, how you broke my heart
And how funny it was, when I set down and cried
And tell them how, you tore my world apart
'Cause girl I know, you won't tell them how you lied


Details | I do not know? | |

The break up- Footle contest

Cold stares
heart tares


Details | Lyric | |

I found a job

I found a job at last

Well, I worked hard for twenty year
For a greedy type of bloke
I pushed and pulled until me legs went weak
Then one day I felt this twinge
It ran right down me spine
So I went out, some doctors help to seek

Now I can’t sit, and I can’t walk
Can’t even wash me feet
So off I goes to see this medico
He looked me over knowingly
As if he understood!
Then said “You’re doing fine, now off you go”

So off I goes to get a job
I gave some boss a call
But when he saw the way it was for me
He said “I can’t give you a job!
You’re stuffed my boy, that’s all
Oh, don’t tell me about your misery”.

I tried for an insurance claim
They said “we know you’re kind!!
You say you’re hurt, but is this really true?
To get some money out of us
You’ll have to test our might
We deem you fit to get a job, we do”

Well now I’ve got myself a job
It’s a breeze, I must confess
I lie her licking postage stamps all day
When I said I couldn’t work
I forgot about me tongue
So now I’ve got a job, and it’s okay.


Written in 1990





Details | Lyric | |

The pen is mightier than the sword

The pen is mightier than the sword

What is it about some people?
Have they no minds of all
To me their puppets on a string
As they follow all the rules
Whether they make sense at all
That’s all beside the point
They believe all that their leaders say
When it comes to the simple joint!

Our leaders they have called the shots
On this and all that matters
They come to us on the TV set
And I hear their foolish chatter
Our premier with pigeon mind
Was heard to say one day
That cannabis is a killer drug
Or almost any way.

Now I have smoked for forty years
And not once have I ever
Suffered from this gentle weed
These leaders might be clever
Or think they are, through their position
But to me they’re simply fools
But they give me cause to laugh out loud
They’re so damned comical.

23 July 2013 @ 1133hrs.


Details | Limerick | |

The Monster Mash

<                              dancing to the hit song monster mash
                                frankenstein and werewolf got real smashed
                                took the witches culdeen
                                and boiled up mummys spleen
                                Quasimodo joined in on the bash


                                witches brew of brains spleens gizzards hearts
                                illuminates party from it's start
                                Dracula and zombies
                                lurking for free bodies
                                poor old frankie's wife just fell apart 



                               the bewitching dance came to its end
                               when bats flew in frenzy around den 
                               on this all hallows eve
                               trickery was up sleeve
                               sent my 3 black cats in to defend


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

who says

I wouldn't wanna be anybody else, hey 
You made me insecure, to me I wasn't good enough 
But who are you to judge When you're a diamond in the rough
 I'm sure you got some things You'd like to change about yourself
 But when it comes to me I wouldn't want to be anybody else
 I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me You got every right to a beautiful life, 
come on
 Who says, who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 It's such a funny thing How nothing's funny when it's you 
You tell 'em what you mean But they keep whitin' out the the truth
 It's like the work of art That never get to see the light Keep you beneath the stars Won't let you touch the sky
 I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me You got every right to a beautiful life,
 come on
 Who says, who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty 
Who says you're not pretty
 Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 Who says you're not star potential Who says you're not presidential Who says you can't be in movies Listen to me, listen to me
 Who says you don't pass the test 
Who says you can't be the best Who said, who said? 
Would you tell me who said that, yeah Who said
 Who says, who says you're not perfect
 Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty 
Who says you're not pretty 
Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 Who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says


Details | Free verse | |

Grandma Was Dancing

She was a tappin' to the tunes...
of those Mississippi blues...
step-pin' out, in her white...
Pat-en-leather shoes,

We were a watchin' her a prancin',
all through the kitchen, dancin'...
for she was so...hot & sizzlin'...
hummin' to those Mississippi tunes...

Funny curlers too, upon...
her head...for a new... Hair dew,...
she was, a swirlin'-in that bakers apron,
when her head...star-ted a bobbin' to...
those Mississip-pi blues,

'Pots were a knockin'...
Grandma a sockin' down all she brews,
while that kettle there was whistlin',
in har-mo-ny, with them good ole...
good ole...mississip-pi moves,'

That floor there, was a bouncin'
holdin' hands we were a jumpin',
an-a hoppin' In the kitchen, to those...
                  sounds ...
Where Grandma's feet were a stompin',
In her new...New-white-sexy-pat-en-
leather-shoes...
(ya hoo)


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?


Details | Ballad | |

Pan and Satan

Pan and Satan.

One morning I was walking in my garden
When old Jupiter came up close to me.
And standing by his side stood fair Demeter
Who smiled at me so warm and tenderly.
She said “my son we’ve come to give our blessings
And we’ve a story we would like to tell.
Of how the great God Pan turned into Satan
And child I hope that you will listen well.

For Pan he was the god of natures beauty
And he wore no taint till Satan came along.
He’d play his pipes so gaily in the meadows
Though sometimes there was mischief in his song.

Then Satan said to pan “well I don’t give a damn
I’m going to steal your horns and make you me.
Then I’ll build a master plan and strike some fear in man
So always he will live in misery.
And that’s the way old Pan became young Satan
Yet still the old one dances deep within.
But if the two had never joined together
Then where would dwell the ugliness of sin.

1990


Details | Lyric | |

Walkin' With My Wiener In My Hand......

(to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

See the frost, watch it glisten
Too much beer, I'm on a mission
To write my name in the snow 
With a funny yellow glow
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

Got a trenchcoat that I'm wearing
So that I can do some "sharing"
Maybe my legs are too white
That gives 'em a fright
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

At the lounge we were chillin'
After time, my bladder's fillin'
I stagger left and then right
Hope I make it in time
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

Feels so good to drain my lizard
From behind I hear a whisper
"I hope you'll be done soon, 
'cause you're in the ladies room!"
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!


Details | Lyric | |

Logistics - A parody of a certain delivery company's television advert, to the tune That's Amore

Yes we don’t give a toss,
If your package is lost,
That’s logistics,
If it’s broken or bent,
Or has multiple dents,
That’s logistics,
If it’s fragile and breaks,
It was not our mistake,
That’s logistics,
Well you were not at home,
So we sent it to Rome,
That’s logistics!

So incredibly late,
That it’s gone out of date,
That’s logistics,
We don’t know where it went,
Are you sure it was sent?
That’s logistics,
Your parcels we’ll stash,
But we’ll still take your cash,
That’s logistics,
What an item on time?!
Oh no wait, it’s not mine,
That’s logistics!



Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Free verse | |

A Simple Southern Christmas

It's gonna be a simple southern Christmas here.
All I want from Santa is some egg nog, bourbon and beer.
I'm gonna wait on Santa Christmas Eve night,
and when he's not lookin' I just might,
steal his reindeer.
It's gonna be a simple southern Christmas here.
I'm sending out my Christmas cheer.
I'm gonna sit on my front porch swing and sing.
It will be a good thing to hear those jingle bells ring.
I thought I seen Santa on the backwoods bayou road,
but instead it was a big fat toad.
It'a a wonderful simple southern Christmas here.
Santa just brought me some egg nog, bourbon, and beer.
When he wasn't lookin' I stole his reindeer.
So now I can deliver my Christmas cheer.
But hurry, hurry, I'm in a rush,
got to give that reindeer a little push.
Got to go, got to go,
got to get home to fix my gumbo.
It is Christmas day,
and I'm in  a rush I must say.
It's gonna be a simple southern Christmas here.
Just add egg nog, bourbon and beer.
Mix it up with some Christmas cheer.
I'm ready for Christmas every year.


Details | Rhyme | |

Quit My Job, Smashed My Car

Quit my job, smashed my car
My back does throb, need to learn guitar

So I can make, a silly song
And I can sing, it all day long
About how, my God is strong
So that even now, nothing’s wrong

Even though, I quit my job
smashed my car, my back does throb

Life is hard, but I’ve got God
So I won’t let any thought
Any worry or fear
Convince me you’re not near

Even when, I quit my job,
Smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I won’t sob
I need to learn guitar


Details | Haiku | |

Johnny Come Blow Your Horn

pillar of trumpets
are no match in a garden
for the hummingbird


Details | Limerick | |

MY BED CALLS

With heaping speed like the flash
Am ah make a dash
My bed calls, dive in... splashhh
It was an honor and a pleasure
Poetry writers you'll so clever
Poetrysoup had me in a spell
O! well, farewell...
Goodnight ya'll
Catch you on the rebound
Tomorrow then, sleep now call
10:30 PM zzzzz-ing sound 
My bed Callsssssss

©Copyright January 22, 2012 by Brian Pierre-Alexander
© All Rights Reserved






Details | Lyric | |

The Unhappy Moth

She chose a red scarf. The most red 
of them all.
Of a dark red, a sweet and thick red color,
just as wine.

She carved from the red scarf
from the middle
to the size of a Martini glass.

Then she carved one more glass,
and she kept carving 
till she fell asleep.

Yesterday
she saw her Beloved Moth 
flirting with a Younger Moth, 
carving together from a sweater
while she was getting busy,
carving in the shelves.

The Unhappy Moth drank lots of wine
woolen wine, 
last night.
She drank lots, too much
for a Moth.
The Unhappy Moth got drunk
and fell asleep
on the red scarf,
unhidden
with a heart filled with peace.

She was not afraid no more. 
Now she could be seen easily,
laying on the scarf
and easily crushed.

The Unhappy Moth was not 
afraid of death no more,
at least, now she knew 
how wonderful the red scarfs are
and that they taste
like red wine.


Details | Lyric | |

HAPPY

I really love myself,
I'll do bad and good things,
I'll make things easier,
I'd like to face my problems.
I can change my life in an easier way,
Now I'm sitting here like a rocking chair.
I really know, How to make all this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I can do this all things,
In a different ways.
Go! go! go! go!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Funny person in everyday,
I make many person happy in a day,
I've wanted to have more friends,
Like many people live in our earth.
Everyday is a happy day,
Like everyone do this to their self,
I've wanted to have more friends,
Like many people live in our earth.


Details | Limerick | |

CLIP IT ON

Clip it on and don't think twice
Clip it on cuz it looks nice.
Clip it on so you know where it is at.
Clip it on maybe to a hat.
Clip it on so it does not fall off.
Clip it on so your pet don't runaway.
Clip it on so it stays in place.
Clip it on in outer space.
Clip it on every day.
Clip it on around the world.
JUST CLIP IT ON.


Details | Couplet | |

Spritual Gangster

You don’t want to miss this
But don’t be confused this aint Christmas
You’ve gotta get real my brotha and kiss this
I’m a spiritual criminal with lipstick

If you’re lucky you just might make my hit list
Coz I’m a murderer killing *****es ego’s with fake riffs
If you’re a moral criminal and do the minimal you can’t hit this
We must stand together my brother to beat this

Pleasure - pain, generosity - blame, loss - gain infamy and greed
It’s not hard don’t get angry and there’s no need to bleed
It’s just like John Lennon said when he said love is all you need
Stand with me my friend and let go of fear if you want to be freed 

I’ll mind punch you in the heart and give you a soul diss
Aint no big brotha gonna hold me and frisk this
You’re not lost or all alone coz my arrows fire straight and can’t miss
Things aint changed and love can still fix this

Pleasure pain, Generosity blame, loss gain infamy and greed
It’s not hard don’t get angry and there’s no need to bleed
It’s just like John Lennon said when he said love is all you need
Stand with me my friend and let go of fear if you want to be freed 
Love -love- love is all you need


Details | Free verse | |

Reflections: Intellectualism

To Dine, To Die;
Conversations spiral
While thunderous eyes
Grasp concepts to recycle.

Constant debt crisis
A political paradox
Grating social devices
Over the sorting of socks.

Pseudo-analysis
An endless groan
Argumental paralysis
The debate grants no throne.

Existentialism
Over a roast
Potatoes won't listen
To who talks the most.

"That point is so interesting"
The floor is open for chat
"What is real?" not a thing
"Meow" adds the cat.


Details | Lyric | |

Hard to Forget

Hard to Forget
 
Earie the  mournin I had the cock screw
At the aftunun, I washed the sunnin gay
Im just wanderin ova evrytin
Evry momen we shed in our useful days

Refrain
Hoe kan I stop to lovin ye (no...w)
Hoe kan I cease to make ye hapi
 Hoe kan I resixt ye in ma laive (that's why)
I'll holeways loaf ye delhi

Steel remembrin when we melt
Steel remembrin tins we shed 2 gender
Hoe suit those day we spent worse
Hoe wail down memo lane to bring on the murder...


Refrain

I kan't just forgate evrytin...
I steel rememba well we melt
I steel rememba the time we shed
I steel rememba... evrytin evrytin


Refrain

So is tru the world is mall
I kan't beliv I fall in lob
Yeah I fall in  and fet no same
Is there any crown in being in lob?

Very hard, very very hard
Hard to forget
Very hard, very very hard
Hard to forget
For I'm in love ooooo
This is hard to forgo. 

For: Roy Jerden's Malapropisms and Mondegreens Contest


Details | Light Poetry | |

Welcome To The Garden Gnome Shopping Channel

Welcome to The Garden Gnome Shopping Channel,
And,
If this is your first time here -
Why?
Where have you been?

We mass produce uniquely,
Our gnome-lines are refreshed twice-weekly,
Each gnome has it's own i.d number,
So rest assured,
One can never be mistaken for another.

Mould-engineered by plastic injection craftsmen,
Then hand-finished by aerosol paint artisans,
Your garden gnome is guaranteed authentic -
Their bobble-hatted face won't drip,
And their shatter-proof head will nod happily on windy days.

We are the only licensed garden gnome sellers in the UK.
So what are you waiting for?

Rome wasn't built in a day,
But our gnomes are,
Meaning your gnome could be with you within thirty-six hours,
Or - if you require it urgently - within twenty-four,
And it will cost you only four pounds more,
Couriered directly from our air-conditioned warehouse in Bangalore.

sukispangles.blogspot.com


Details | Couplet | |

Mixology Brews blends mixtures concoctions

By Sashi.Prabhu(zeauoxian0
(18th February 2012 nite at Kentucky shack on colva beach)
I was browsing through the menu and laid my eyes upon interesting cocktails and mock tails.
I snapped up the names with the blackberry camera and wove them together to couplets.
Dedicate this one to my friends who love and cherish the cocktails and mock tails.
Cheers……………………………


With love from zeauoxian, black lady, Tom Collins, Three peaks merlot, white lady, John Collins. Between the sheets, pink pusy, screaming orgasm, Pink lady, lost bikini, orgasm. Misty nite, hairy navel, ding a ling, Sunset, buttock clencher, Singapore sling. Lady killer, fuzzy navel, coconut diaquiry, Bloody Mary, fenny wenny woo woo, orange diaquiry. Pure calypso, climax, kick in the balls, Caribbean fever, planter’s punch, rocks for the dolls. Peach pleasure, tequila sunrise, margarita, Pina coloda, sunset, caipirnha. Coco colada, slippery dick, the hammer, Gimlet, sweet nips, tequila slammer. Passona orange, passona lime, sex on the beach, Orange blossom, lime blossom. Passionate peach. Gin fiz, Cuba libre, Roby Roy, Black lagoon, black Russian, beach buoy. Fight fiesta, stinger rum cocktail, side car, Negroni, pink elephant, brandy lime shot from the bar. Mohjito, long island iced tea, whiskey sour, Renaissance merlot, vina tarapoca chardonnay. All these heady concoction, Many of them and lots of action. The science of achohol blending, of the art of mixology, All these to the tipper is fun and to do with a smooth tripology!!!!!!!!


Details | Haiku | |

All About the Music: The Infinite Magic of Lyricism

Pop may be catchy
But not lyrically deep
Case in point: Chris Brown.


(N.B. Poem written after hearing "Don't Wake Me Up")


Details | ABC | |

The Garbage Truck

As we stop, I pull out my jar of Vic's vapor rub 
I put some up my nostrils, this job you cannot love 
But it pays the bills, I make my living 
Trash day is when people are most giving 
They are selfless when getting rid of what they see as junk 
Whew! That smell from the back of a garbage truck 
I spot a pair of shoes for my kid 
I will wash them first, get rid of the odor of rotted squid 
My niece's birthday is coming up soon 
I found a playhouse with dishes, forks, cups and spoons 
It's family night tonight at home 
The unknown video I found will be shown 
Finding the right stuff is a matter of luck 
It is just my point of view from the back of a garbage truck 
I found a half a bucket of KFC 
I take a smell, it smells as fresh as can be, what a surprise for my family 
Two hours later, the family can't keep their meal down 
They are so ungrateful about the food I found 
I am on a strict budget, I have to find a way to save a couple bucks 
More dinners will be found because I work on the back of a garbage truck 


Details | I do not know? | |

The Busy Bees Life

The busy bee carried the nector
From one flower to another
Moved her exhausted wings, struggled like Hector
She fall, but she shall die but not serve the Queen mother

But today was so bizarre
She was the only one working hard
She saw a bee sitting on a flower smoking a cigar
And a servant bee, in a Jaguar car

"What is going on?" she said
Many questions were in her head
When she returned home, all bees were in bed
"Oh, no one is working" she said

Bees were not eating honey but bread
"I am going to tell the Queen" she said
She went to the Queen's room, with a heavy head
"Oh" the Queen was with a servant bee in bed

"What do you want , you idiot bee?"
"Busy bees I can no longer see"
"Are you dump? Today is free"
"A vocation, can't you see?"

The bee woke up with a heavy head
"Oh, what a nightmare" she sadly said


Details | Rhyme | |

Gerkey's Jerky

There's a teacher named Gerkey. He sells lots of jerky. If you won't pay, he'll send you away, and you won't get jerky form Gerkey.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Think You Are The Cheap And Not Me ......

Showing me the expensive bangle on her wrist
She asked, "Will you buy me something like this ? "
If you do, you can take me out again
What do you say ' Yes ' or ' No ' ?

Looking at the bangle I knew it cost a lot
To take her out for a hot date
One day a bangle, another day a necklace
Her needs will never end until my pocket is empty

I managed to get a fake smile on my face
I saw another fake smile on her crooked face
I knew money is the only reason for this date
Her eyes are not on my face but on the bulged wallet 

It won't last long and it's unhealthy
I told to myself without thinking twice
Somehow I happend to control myself
I just said, " You get nothing when you come with me ".

Her response was so quick,"You are so cheap "
I had a hysteric laugh inside me 
I said loud to her , "I think you are the cheap and not me" '
"You know why? You come for something and not for Love " 

I am not looking for that kind of date
It is easy to get and I don't need it 
She tried to change the topic, "I was just kidding you" 
I knew it is a lie and I put a full stop on that relationship.


Details | Free verse | |

the Sunny Day Blues Man

living for the moment
ended life as we knew it 
but i'm just doing whatever
kind of hoping 
for some entertainment 
along the way

a day in the life 
of the sunny day blues man
hands down 
this is the best i ever was
the best i'll ever be
don't you agree

the sunny day blues man
isn't it funny the way news slants
the return of the sunny day blues man
just be happy with what you choose man
Never a better option than a given hand
thank god for the sunny day blues man

hope isn't a measure 
it's just tested time
a clamp of suspense 
when the moments array
an echo of needs 
to balance out 
the ways things seem
desire
is the best you and I 
will ever be
don't you agree

the sunny day blues man
isn't it funny the way news slants
the return of the sunny day blues man
just be happy with what you choose man
Never a better option than a given hand
thank god for the sunny day blues man

at times life seems to cycles 
signals of distress
vanity and cupcakes 
i know, it's a brute mess
but along with the irony 
comes pancakes 
yes, the madness seems to iron me
yet i am still here

the eyes a thinker
life of a fighter
hands of a lighter weight 
unburdened 
when smiles reflected a pinch of hurting
because in punishment
the sunlight just couldn't outreach the curtains
though we take the steps alike
we trespass the worries to vaguely
but it was times like these that made me 
and it's the best i'll ever be

"the things we accept in steps of courage"


Details | Light Poetry | |

I Dog You

Don’t go anywhere, my dear 
Don’t leave me here
Stay in my heart or stay in my liver
I’m with you leave me never
Watching you watching you
Catching you catching you
I love you I hold you
I kiss you I scold you
Talk to me and walk with me
Touch me and dance with me
Oh I did not give you the meals and rest 
That's why you have proved to be the best
If I love this way to a man 
He will feel tortured and frustrated 
You are my darling you are my dog 
I feel proud of you oh my lovely blacky
I chose you to love you
you are so different but yet again
You love me hug me and bear a lot
Yet people say why love the dog? 



Details | Light Poetry | |

The Self-Hate Miracle Plan

Let's lose weight,
Let's discover the
yin and yang of
protein and complex
carbohydrate.
It's never too late
to let your
corporeal fat eat
cake.
So let's lose
weight.
And, then?
Then, let's look
inside your
cavernous space,
And discover your
previously hidden, 
And uniquely
transcendent,
And unparagoned, 
Blissful Essence.

Let's go!

Let's lose weight.
Because it's the
only way - to lose
weight.
Let's deflate your
billowing concertina
face.
Let's drain away
those flabby
bingo-arm thighs;
Sight the edacity: I
snack, I die.
Chant: For I am
Spirit, pure and
eternal..For I am
Spirit, pure and
eternal..
Let's lose weight.

Pain-feast your
lingua-nausea
mantra;
Really utilise your
hidden pneuma
matter.
Oh, and,
The flashing lights,
the tingling arms?
Mouth striking
shapes to burglar
alarms?
Perhaps, a smidgen
of self harm?
Tremors, blushing,
perspiring, shaking,
flushing?
That's okay:
If it ain't
hurting..
It's a positive
thing to focus there
your self-hate.

It's not easy to
lose weight -
Especially when you
refuse to lose
weight.
No, we mustn't allow
your feckless
mentalism to
dictate.
Instead,
Appreciate yourself
depreciate:
Scale away your
inducing corpus,
And irrigate.
Irrigate.

Stare yourself down,
reflecting off your
plate.
Speed-read all my
magazines:
Glean the
enlightened screed
of my shapely New
Age dream;
Allow me to melt
away your pizza
footprint;
Gracefully fade you
to your sculpted
meme.

Unsuicide bomb those
spare tyres with
love.
Vacuum-pack your
stomach with tender
wires - see above.
Let's lose weight.
And strike your
utter repose!

And you'll soon
delightedly discover
your swooning lover,
And how the sweet
mirror shall melt of
you!

Be like a sliver of
crystal glass;
As svelte as the
skin of flowing
water;
Skim through the air
like a flying
saucer;
Writhe your
multi-orgasmic
tiger,
Deposing ounces, you
shall footfall
utopia.
Let's lose weight.

You can do it!
..For I am Spirit,
pure and eternal..
Let's go!

for more humorous
verse: sukispangles
dot blogspot.com


Details | Ballad | |

A song about my cat

My cat went a roaming to find a new home.
Sing kitty,sing katty,sing Oh!
This cat was so clever he had his own comb.
Look up,now look down,stone the crows!

He went into the neighbours' and drank all their milk.
Sing,fridge raiding kitties.No,No!
Then he laid himself down on a piece of fine silk.
Sing,what the dickens,my lovely pillow!

He went to the butcher and ate all the steak.
Sing greedy,he's ruined my flow.
Then he went to the hairdresser for a shampoo.
Where else can a puttitat go?

He had no plastic,no money,no cheque!
Sing,cheater,sing creature,sing woe.
She sent for a Copper who paid the cat's bill.
And so  my puss came out all aglow.

Now my cat was glossy and plump and refreshed.
Sing:fancy,it all goes to show.
So he came home and said this place is best.
And he picked up his cello and bow.

He scraped some Sibelius and also some Grieg.
Sing: Northern lights can always glow.
But,he looked so self satisfied,I felt annoyed....
One should not let one's narcissism show.

But he was so handsome,I was glad he came home.
Sing,grateful,sing katefull,sing Ho!
And I hope he will never again want to roam.
Sing glory.sing story;Sing So!


Details | Rhyme | |

The New Santa Claus

I'm locking up my house, because it's that time for thieves.
I need to Santa proof my place, because It's Christmas Eve.
If he does get in, I'm going to run and hide.
I left out some milk and cookies with rat pellets inside.
While he's eating the cookies and he's starting to sweat.
The reindeer will be caught in security nets.
"I'm sorry boys and girls, but Santa has to retire!"
I'm going to tie him to the tree and set poor Santa on fire.
Then I'm going to take the toys and keep them all to myself.
Even though I've been bad, no coals will be on my shelf.
Merry Christmas to me! This year is going to be grand!
I'll get whatever I want, if Christmas goes as I planned!
Wearing Santa Claus' suite I'll get in houses without keys.
In twenty seven minutes I'll rob twenty seven trees!
So all you little brats, don't you cry and sob.
With the recession and depression, I just needed a job.
A lot of things are going to change, but you all shouldn't be sad.
Now that I'm the new Santa, It doesn't matter who's bad.
I'll use the elves as my slaves and the toys will still come.
Instead of a Nintendo, you'll get a gallon of rum.
Toy guns are for babies, how about the real thing?
A candy neckless won't impress, I'll make sure that it's bling.
You said you wanted a pony? How about a deer that can fly?
No more lousy presents, no more socks, or bad ties.
I'll change... 
Wait... Wait a minute... Was that all just a dream?
Why do I only have coal under the tree and in my stocking?
Santa please come back! I promse I'll be better next year!
I promise I'll be good and I'll spred more Christmas cheer!

Did Santa Claus come back? Did he come like I thought he should?
No Santa didn't, but next year I'll be good!
I'll only do what is right, aleast to his satisfaction.
So he comes back to my house, and my plan goes back into action!


Details | Lyric | |

Jimmy and I - still working on CHORUS - Blues

I once robbed a bank so I could get high,
Yeah I stole all their money, I wanted to fly.
Now I'm sitting in jail, wondering why...

But I made a new best friend, Jimmy's just like me
and we're gonna bust outta this prison so we can be free -
and the first thing we're gonna try, yeah we gonna get high.

CHORUS (in progress)

Well we broke out and we partied, now the stuff's all gone,
but we got a great new plan we're working on while singing this song...
Yeah we're gonna rob a bank and get high
Jimmy and I.

Sitting In jail, back again,
How could we fail, Jimmy my friend?
Well, we left in such a hurry we forgot to take the money
had to go back again

CHORUS (in progress)

Now the moral of the story is that you shouldn't get high
'cause if you don't get started you won't be tempted to try
something so stupid that'll land you in the slammer like Jimmy and I.

No, you don't wanna be in the slammer like Jimmy and I.


Details | Lyric | |

The Black Mistress

Black Mistress
That's what I'm suppose to be
Oh, no not me
I'm not coming second to another woman
No woman is coming before me
Black Mistress
That's what I'm suppose to be
Come get your clothes if you can't spend the holidays with me
You live with her not me
Black Mistress
You want to buy my love when you want please
Oh, no not me
I have my own and I'm not selling my goods to no one but I'm still not cheap


Details | Romanticism | |

More Then Just Lines

I think I've seen you in my dreams, you're matching every description.
Your love is like a drug, I'd kill to fill the prescription.
You give me so much excitement, like when babies are born.
You're the only flower I see that's in this garden of thorns.
You must be Jamaican, because you're Jamaican me crazy.
Let's get a place together and maybe raise up a baby.
A lot of people call me Trav, but you can call me tonight.
You have the most beautiful eyes in the world, just like the stars they shine bright.
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
You could make a shy guy try and make a blind man see.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
You've got me floating like a feather, and I want to feel this way forever.
You may think these are just lines, or maybe all the above,
but please read this with your heart, because you're the woman I love.


Details | Cowboy | |

Ode To A Blueberry Roan

I was heading to the bunkhouse, after a wild night on the town
dancing & romancing & one too many round
Back in my wild & woolly days, one more rowdy Saturday night
full of cheap beer & whiskey & the necessary fight
I set Ol' Gus on auto pilot, he knew the way back to the spread
And I set to fighting with those rotgut demons dancing in my head
We were getting pretty close to home, so I eased up on the bit
when all of a sudden that dang horse he up & quit
His ears were all pricked forward, listening quite intense
I caught a drift of what might pass for music, somewhere beyond the fence
It took a lot of persuading, cussing & cajoling
but I got ol' Gus headed for all the caterwauling 
the sound got more peculiar as we crested the hill
the memory of what I saw that moonlit night stays with me still
for I had stumbled on a peculiar party, hosted by a peg leg dog
and there was a one eyed pole cat doing comedic monologue
A Blueberry Roan soon took the stage, singing Motley Crue
I swear I saw a big ol' ornery hog with a "born to squeal" tattoo
There were bulls & Heifers dancing, I couldn't believe my eyes
why those bovine wore spikes and body piercings, in places utterly unwise
There where horses with mohawk hairdos head banging to the song
I swear to you, Ol' Gus, he began to sway & sing along
Now I know what you're thinking & I most heartily agree
it was the moon & wind playing tricks, along with rotgut whiskey
You city folks can keep your pink elephants parading in tutus
for this cowboy was shown the light by a Roan in blue suede shoes
I gave up hell raising & carousing, said so long to the honky-tonk life
Happy now to stick to ranching & dancing under the moon with my wife
But every now & again, when the wind blows & the moon is shining bright
I swear I can hear the livestock laughing & head banging through the night


Details | Lyric | |

My Blue Bearry Song



                                                                I had a dolly
                                                         His name was Bearry
                                                              He was so lazy 
                                                             He ate so many
                                                        His cheek was chubby
                                                             I called him fatty
                                                        I loved my cute Bearry

                                                           Still with the Bearry
                                                              He cool already
                                                           In blue he's steady
                                                             He was so fancy
                                                            He wore on classy
                                                            He likes to boogie
                                                           He is my cool Bearry

Author's Note:
This is a song of "There Was a Pig"
Inspired by my student who always brings her blue teddy bear wherever she goes, and always tells stories as if it was alive. At that time she hummed the piggy song and I've got inspired to change the lyric become "My Blue Bearry Song" it's because the teddy bear named Bearry and its blue in colour.


Details | Lyric | |

freak

It's funny how you
want to be with me,
you just dont know
im a lil freak
if you cross the line
Imma make you see
what kind of freak
(I can be)

you wanna be
my one and only man
follow the rules
you gotta understand
get down (ahh)
get dirty
I need a freak
just like me

It's funny how you
want to be with me,
you just dont know
im a lil freak
if you cross the line
Imma make you see
what kind of freak
(I can be)

I got fellaz droppin drowse
like rain from the clouds
I relax, sit back, and chill
while im sippin on crystal

I know I look very classy
but I can get real nasty
just cross the line with me
I can teach you freak termonolgy


Details | Rhyme | |

The Kitty and the Bunny: An Easter Song

"The Kitty and the Bunny" is a children's song, sung to the tune of "Pop! Goes the 
Weasel".

'Round and 'round the dogwood tree
Kitty chased the Easter Bunny,
'Til Bunny tossed an egg
That broke Kitty's leg;
And Kitty cried, "This game ain't fun-ny!".

Bonus activity: Give children some crayons and paper and have them turn this poem into a comic strip. Tell them you would use four boxes for your comic strip: one showing Kitty chasing the bunny, the next one showing the bunny tossing an egg, the next showing kitty holding his paw, and the last one showing tears streaming down Kitty's face. But, tell children they can use as few or as many boxes as they like for their comic strips and even change the storyline. The dogwood tree becomes an apple tree and bunny is seen pelting Kitty with apples. Perhaps squirrels join in the fight and start throwing acorns at Kitty.


Details | Blank verse | |

Rythmn of the Beat

Listening to the rhythm of the beat 
I move my feet the speakers 
Blowing loud every time we meet
When i speak it seems like 
My flow is so sick i can't eat
Anorexia dementia from my lack of similac
Crack back to snap back i bounce back 
Then sit down fall back an relax


Details | Rhyme | |

Zippedy Do Dah

 <                                      Zippedy  Do  Dah  

                                         Zippedy     Day  

 
                                       Open    Hearts    Souls

                                       Sing    Loud     Today


                                           Zippedy   Do   Dah  

                                           Zippedy          Day  


                                    Thank    You    Sweet     Lord

                                     Bountys    Come   My    Way


                                           Zippedy  Do  Dah   

                                           Zippedy        Day   


                                          Smell   Frangrence

                                   From    Flowers    Picked   Today


                                           Zippedy  Do   Dah   

                                           Zippedy      Day   


                                        Hugs      And      Kisses

                                To     Children    Comes   My   Way


                                           Zippedy   Do   Dah   

                                           Zippedy          Day   


                                           Join    With    Me

                                          Sunshine's    Hooray   



                                           Zippedy  Do   Dah   

                                           Zippedy         Day   


                                          Keep    This   Tune 

                                          Going     All       Day



                                          Zippedy   Do    Dah   

                                          Zippedy           Day   



                                  Not    Sure    Rythem    Rhyme

                                 Will   March    Same    Way ...   Hey  !


                                          Zippedy   Do    Dah   

                                          Zippedy          Day   


                                                 Been    Fun  

                                            Must   Be   On    Way



                                             Zippedy   Do  Dah   

                                             Zippedy         Day   


                                  Thanks  Dane  Ann  Smith  Johnson

                                 For  Contest   To   Join   And   ...   Play






Details | Rhyme | |

My Family and Me

It's amazing how quick things can change.
First your running with the kings, and then you're knocked out of range.
It's strange. I used to worry and stress over friends.
Now I've grown to be a man. Maybe know a few of them.
All that time I could of studied. Did better in school.
Got a job and made it big. Maybe now I'd be cool.
Who's the fool? Now who's the bull? I know that's not me on the top.
Life is always making turns weather you like it or not.
The past will always be the past. My glory days may seem gone.
But, now its time to start a new.The stories keep coming on.
I've got a new girl. She means the world to me.
She keeps me warm at night, my best friend, my new dream.
Since my car accident, still got a limp on one side.
Still working with my memory, still need a friend who can drive.
I love to Karaoke. I get noticed in bars.
My mom's always there to catch me. Tom's working with my mom's cars.
My sister's in the Army, my niece is a big part of my life,
Friend Zach keeps assholes off me, and God is my wife.
AJ's always there to help, Brian is my LOST bud,
Mary's out of school, Lil cousin, Hunter's a stud.
Grandpa still is my idol, JT is still the music man .
The Adam's still can party. Chris, living good on the sand.
I may only use one hand, but I plan to be the best.
At all I do in life, cause there's not that much time left.
The blood test that I took says Landon is mine.
I hope this all works out fine in time and help to make my son's life shine.
JC who's down in Georiga, my heart is screaming for you.
I hope that you recover well. It can't be worse then what I went through.
Uncle Jimmy where you at? Where's Matt, Corie, and Pete?
I know you all are doing good. Serviolo's are a hard team to beat.
How's the rest of the family? I love and miss you all!
I hope you all are standing tall and I pray we never fall.
These last words that I say, I say only to you.
We've got the best family in the world and you know I LOVE YOU!


Details | Lyric | |

Dance to tha beat

dance to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha
dance to my heart beat
repeat2x:

Boy verse:

Im dancin to tha beat (beat)
movin my feet
got my body in motion
to tha rhym of tha beat (beat)
she movin fast ay
im talkin nastay
we gone stay past eight
and go to my place

dance to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha
dance to my heart beat
repeat2x:

Girl verse:

Im ready for wateva
you know wat i mean (mean)
lets get down to tha point
lets get down and dirty
I can make you fanticize
cus yo head between my thighs
when you look at my third eye
boy I make you mezmerize
(so)

dance to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha
dance to my heart beat
repeat2x:

Girl verse: 

Im playin game of twister
im all ova tha room
im even on tha dresser
my body all on you
im playing game of twister
im all ova tha room
im even on tha dresser
my body all on you

we can dance on the bar
even make love on ya car
boy you make my heart roar
(roar, roar, roar)
you make my heart roar
(so)

dance to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha beat
to tha
dance to my heart beat
repeat2x:


Details | I do not know? | |

More than weather, can be frightful or Unseasonal Christmas

Used to be the weather was frightful
People covered themselves from head to toe
Now, despite the fact it’s Christmas season
I see more sand, than I see snow
The temperatures keep on elevating
To the moon, they just seem to rise
Oh, where is the Christmas of yesterday
The rosy cheeks, windows fogged with ice

It’s just too warm now for Christmas
Too hot to shop, too hot to run around
Santa’s working at the pole in a speedo
That’s nothing, we wanna see come to town

Frosty, it seems we’re not gonna see him
Heat miser, now, has gotten his day
Can’t ole Jack Frost do something about this
And chase the warm weather away
No need to chop wood set for burning
The heated air replaces that in the hearth
I hope it gets cold and very soon, too
Because Christmas puts warmth in everyone’s heart

It’s just too warm now for Christmas
Too hot to shop, too hot to run around
Santa’s working at the pole in a speedo
That’s nothing, we wanna see come to town

Oh, when Christmas day finally gets here
Right now, I’ll tell ya, all I wanna see
Are people with scarves and gloves on their hands
And snow bringing life to all barren trees
I want the temps to chill me right to the bone
That’s when I’ll know it’s Christmas time
Who wants to look up and see a sleigh
With a fat man in a speedo, flying around

It’s just too warm now for Christmas
Too hot to shop, too hot to run around
Santa’s working at the pole in a speedo
That’s nothing, we wanna see come to town


Details | Blank verse | |

and off to the farm

the Sony goes off to station WFUV
I lie there still on the right side of the bed
Bob Dylan sings I don’t have to work on Maggie’s farm no more
the clock says five ten in small green neon like letters

get up five thirty
shower shave and pee
eggs toast and coffee
and off to the farm


Details | Rhyme | |

Golden Girls Tribute

"Thank you for being a friend", that's how it goes.
Blanche will fly whichever way the wind blows.
"Traveled down the road and back again", is what they sing.
Rose waits for a light bulb, clueless to everything.
"Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidante", goes the next line.
Sophia shares her sarcastic wisdom, making rose trick a mime.
"And if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew", as the song plays.
Here comes Dorothy, intelligent and bossy, so set in her ways.
"you would see, the biggest gift would be from me" It's almost done.
The Golden girls bring so much fun.
"And the card attached would say" as the show portrays,
"Thank you for being a friend".
Sophia, Dorothy, Blanche and Rose,
for eachother, a helping hand to lend.
The show possesses what the song does imply.
The women"s friendship a binding tie.
 A tribute to them as the legend lives,
Their warmth and caring continues to give.




April Wilson-"The Golden Girls"


Details | Lyric | |

A Florida Christmas Jingle

Written to the tune of "Jingle Bells"

Here in Florida,
We don't get any snow,
We don't have sleighs to ride,
But we do have mistletoe!

For a little Christmas jaunt,
We'll drive 'round after dark,
To view the Christmas-lighted homes,
And displays at the park.

Ho! Ho! Ho! 
He! He! He!
Christmas time is here.
Let's deck the halls and shop the malls,
To spread some Christmas cheer!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
He! He! He!
Christmas time is here.
Let's deck the halls and shop the malls,
To spread some Christmas cheer!

Driving through the rain,
In a souped up Cheverolet,
Traffic's moving slow,
But hey, that's A-okay.

Christmas carols blare,
From the Chevy's radio,
We're having fun singing along,
Making words up as we go!

Ho! Ho! Ho!
He! He! He!
Christmas time is here.
Let's deck the halls and shop the malls,
To spread some Christmas cheer!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
He! He! He!
Christmas time is here.
Let's deck the halls and shop the malls,
To spread some Christmas cheer!

12/4/2011 for Debbie Guzzi's Deja vu Christmas contest.

Trying to think of a Christmas song or story that I could modernize, Jingle Bells popped in my head.  I live in Florida and it doesn't (usually) snow here, so tried to come up with a snowless version of the song.


Details | Lyric | |

How Much Is The Cat In The Window?


                    How much is the cat in the window?
                   The one that’s standing up
                 How much is the cat in the window?
               I do hope that kitty is for sale

                 I don’t want a turtle or a snake
               I don’t want a bowl of fish or a guinea pig 
               I don’t want a cute rabbit or a bird
              You can’t give them things a hug

                 How much is the cat in the window?
               The one that’s standing up
                I have a slight problem at home
                And if I have a cat then maybe
                 the rat will  leave


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

ATMOSPHERE,

A lonesome dove

feathered white.

The branch strong,

time light.

...no "wait".

A dream.

really blowing a sweet breeze.

...no "wait".

A heart beat sitting in a tree,

spirit like,

...no "wait".

A rhyme.

...of atomosphere.


Details | I do not know? | |

On the Raod to Carolina

“On the Road to Carolina”   

By Miriam McCue - creator of poetry.

dedicated to Bubba, my grandson who is not allowed to do what is in this poem. And Bob 
who maybe did.

Warning: do not practice the activities below, unless you are a professional in the field.

This is meant to be sung accompanied by acoustic guitar music.


Verse 1 
We’re on the road to Carolina,
Me & Bubba, my best friend.

We’re going to stop in Savanna.
To pick up ole toothless Glenn.


Verse 2
We’re ridin’ in my ole pickup,
The three of us have no fear.

‘Cause toothless Glenn of Savanah,
Brought along six cases of beer.


Verse 3
When it gets on towards evenin’,
We park the old pick up.

We’re all sittin’ on the tailgate,
Drinkin’ all the cases up.

(whoops and whoopies )



Verse 4
When we get to Carolina,
Our heads feel all blown about.

Glen is barfin’ out the winder,
And Bubba has completely passed out.

FINIS

NOTE:   TO be more politically correct: I am the designated driver.


Details | Ballad | |

PHATTEST GUN IN TOWN

A WAY OUT WEST PHATT IS GOOD
AND BLING-BLING IS FANCY STUFF
THEM COWBOYS THERE DRESS REAL FINE
CAUSE THE WORK OUT THERE AINT ROUGH


I WENT OUT WEST TO SEE THE SIGHTS
AND LORDY THEY WAS  FINE
COWBOYS THERE RIDE IN LIMOSENES
THEM COWBOYS THERE DRINK WINE

I MET UP WITH THIS FANCY COWBOY
DOWNTOWN ON RODEO DRIVE
HE HAD A PRETTY GIRL ON EACH ARM
AND BROTHER THEY WAS FINE

HIS HAT HE SAID WAS MADE OF FAUX
IT LOOKED LIKE RABBIT FUR TO ME
THE HATBAND WAS COVERED WITH DIAMONDS
AND PEACOCK FEATHERS FANCY AS COULD BE

HE’S THE PHATTEST GUN IN TOWN
HE’S THE PHATTEST GUN IN TOWN
BLING-BLING FROM HIS HEAD TO HIS TOES
HE’S THE PHATTEST GUN IN TOWN

HIS SHIRT WAS MADE OF JAPAN SILK 
WITH BUTTONS MADE OF PEARLS
HE WORE A FANCY GOLDEN BUCKLE
THAT SAID MY NAME IS EARLE

HE WORE TWO PEARL HANDLED PISTOLS
SLUNG DOWN LOW ON HIS WAIST
ONE WAS A FANCY CIGAR LIGHTER
THE OTHER HOLDS BRANDY JUST A TASTE 

CHORUS

HE SAID HEY BRO YOUR NEW IN TOWN
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A DATE
THESE GIRLS WILL SHOW YOU A REAL GOOD TIME
GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM AND WAIT

I LOOKED AT HIM AND THEN AT THEM
AND THEN I JUST SAID NO
MY WIFE IS WAITIN’ BACK AT THE RANCH
AND I REALLY GOT TO GO

CHORUS



Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Mr. Bernanke!

Oh Mr. Bernanke
Are we going to have that Rate-cut today?
Aha, you are the candy-man
Could wave your wand
Make the dying Market stand.

Ah, but it ain’t working anymore
The Market is a falling man
Oh Mr. Bernanke
You wave your wand
But it’s fallen over the stands!

Oh Mr. Bernanke
Swayed the Market just your own way!
But banks aren’t making money
The cuts to them are one too many
Candy-man, the Market won’t stand!

Got my only heifer and sacrificed
At the altar of Dow and Nasdaq, paid a high price
The Dow, oh it fell through the Year’s low
Now here I come, Candy-man
Look through your store
We need something more!


Details | Lyric | |

Land,Land of the Jews

A duet in the style and melody of Home On The Range
(Palestine) Oh, give me a land where no Hebrews stand where Palestine could live and shine where seldom is seen a Rabbi or ‘stein and Jerusalem could be all mine (chorus) Land, land without Jews where Palestine could live and shine where seldom is seen a Rabbi or ‘stein and Jerusalem could be all mine (Israel) You don’t understand, God gave us this land where Palestine would hate and whine where seldom it seems, peace is a dream and Jerusalem should be all mine (chorus) Land, land of the Jews where Palestine still hates and whines where seldom it seems, peace is the dream and Jerusalem shall be all mine
a parody to the tune of 'Home, Home on the range" written by Warner Baxter One Knight Stand Productions all rights reserved


Details | Rhyme | |

TAG

Tag! Your it! Like in the school days.
I got your mind lost, like you were in a corn maze.
This isn't Halloween, just another day of the week.
I'm always getting candy. I say forget trick or treat.
You can forget Flasnick. People just call me Flash.
My rap game's so scary, I say hell with the mask.
Forget Jason, They call me Lil T.
Wake up it's not Freddy, it's me you see in your dreams.
I'm rated X. Noway I'm PG13.
Sisco and Ebert said not to see the damn thing.
So if you do, you better call me the king.
I'll give you six days to live. I'm more hard core then the Ring!


Details | Ballad | |

Woods, great place to hide from bullies

Beneath the soil lay our roots
Multi-legged insects walking on moss
Working hard to get the fruits
Like lost souls running to the cross
Or hungry new army recruits
With no care of profit or loss

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain

We feast together in the swamp
The spiders just want to push us around
They see us and want to stomp
We hide under the ground
I’m here, no fear of the chomp
It’s our other way around

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain

One day I hope it will change
The flower tell us one day
Not to far gone to rearrange
Apex of the sun’s way
Move to the balkan mountain range
Rather than be part of the buffet

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain


Details | Ballad | |

Drinkin Buddies

Pour a shot for me, pour a shot for you.
Swallow down, so quick is the liqueur.
You recoil in pleasure, it tastes good.
Set it up again, time to put up another two.

You think about forgetting the pain,
But your just making it all worse.
Slowly, slowly the picture gets dizzier,
Good judgement goes down the drain.

You love the crown, and he does his job,
Making you feel heavy then ultra light.
Words mind as well be backwards,
And all your thoughts, so many, he did rob.

You look at each other, sloppily thinking,
And you remember what you did forget.
Unsure if the other is feeling the same way.
Look away, wondering, both keep drinking.

F- it! You slow melt into the way it was.
Sooo goooood, but oh soooo baaaaadddd!
The restraint clock is over, time to give in,
You're already too far, no stop, no pause.

Tricky is the soundtrack, intense is the play.
Between are you two, crazy is this game.
Long, amazing, wishing it could last forever,
But you doubt it, you wake sober the next day. 

Was so much fun, and it was much shattering.
Again, you are so weak, you shake your head.
Your foolishness, your eyes drawn asunder.
But so much more then one night of smattering. 

You part, intense attraction you have to ignore,
But so comfortable and also so careless.
You try not look over you shoulder at the other.
Never again... Hell, till they put up two more.


Details | Limerick | |

Lady Godiva

there once was a Lady from France
who never would put on any pants

she would ride all around
the square of the town

and watch all the stupid men dance !!!


Details | Rhyme | |

Boy Is She The One

<                                   Betty Davis eyes
                                     Marilyn Monroe's thighs
                                     Greta Garbo's lies
                                     Elizabeth Taylor's cries
                                     Tells me this is why
                      
                                     Is She The One
                                     Is She The One
                                     Is She The One For Me

                                    Britney Spears
                                    Miley Cyrus sneers
                                    Rihanna's fears
                                    Oh my dear
                                    One thing's clear

                                    Is She The One
                                    Is She The One
                                    Is She The One For Me

                                    Madonna's dares
                                    Cher's dairy air
                                    Heart's flare
                                    Fleetwood Mac I don't care
                                    Just wondering there
                      
                                    Is She The One
                                    Is She The One
                                    Is She The One For Me
                                    
                           
                                    
                             


Details | Ballad | |

The Whiskey Ballet

Once in a while when we fall down
Rarely ever is there anybody else around
To take all of our sorrows and misery away
We seem to suffer to our dying day
A maelstrom of voices swirl through our heads
A bunch of mixed up words from what people said
Saying that this is what life is about
But this ain't what I want and that I don't doubt
I'm drowning the bad thoughts deep in my brain
I'm gonna slam a 60-pound and flush my mind away
I'll wake up in a ditch or in my bloody grave
The ballad of the whiskey ballet
It's cheaper for a bottle than a stinkin' bar
Where all the blasted bastards and the ditchpigs are
I like to drink alone with no one else around
I drink all I want on my own slammin' ground
I don't need someone telling me that I'm being too damned loud
I don't need anyone treating me like a drunk and foolish clown
I'll just turn around and belch into whomevers face and
waltz away on my own cloud by my own staggering pace
I'll be belching and mumbling,kicking and stumbling
puking and yelling,going to Hell andfighting and bleeding
The world will take heed and crashing and crawling
to the ballad of the whiskey ballet!!


Details | Sestina | |

HOWLWEEN AND MEOWWEEN

Halloween is not just for kids...
what about those gorgeous pets
that we snuggle, love, kiss and willfully spoil?
Shouldn't they have their own
special Howlween and Meowween
with treats never tasted in a bright party hall?



I love pets as you all do, and with loving and tender care    
I spoil them with warm clothes and matching shoes;
a wool hat and tiny gloves to keep them from frost!
Look at them, aren't they adorable and look sharper 
than the less-loved pets that are bored with their blues?  
Can you compare a well-groomed one to a scruffy one? 



On this coming Halloween, dress up your pets for success,
disregard the dumb looks of certain unintelligent folks,
they never see humor in anyone or anything, and they can't laugh
at these cuties that have a ton of affection on their mellow faces;
what would they do to be patted or be cuddled in their embrace?
They would give them their howleen and neowween for a soft caress!



And on every street people walk their dogs and cats dressed like mine,
what a surprise to watch this parade of adorable pets that look up and smile!
They will never know who was the genius behind all this, but gently and happily they stroll!
So who's to say that Halloween isn't for them? They're like our children who delight our soul!
And on each Halloween night, let them out, and let them do their Howlween and Meowween,
to enjoy the Halloween celebration, but tomorrow they'll not remember where they had been!


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Ballade | |

McDonalds poem

me and my girl kelssey just got done smoking weed
 are stomach start rumbling and we started too have cravings 
what was it what do we need 
we but our minds together and it was micky d's

so we walked in to get our burgers and fries,
but realized we aint gots no money to our surprise

i look in my back pocket and a 20 appear
 we was like holy crap then we walk up to the cashear 
she was like "how can i help you? you want that here or to go ? "
 umm i dont know but i like a number 6 plain with cheese
 but her not sure what do you want kelssey?


i want a classic combo. a sweet tea to drink. 
thats what id order im pretty sure or i think.
 burgers on our mind..thank god it was micky d's that we would find
. but watch the drinks. make sure the dont spill. 
but if you do its ok. cuz we get free refill.

they called our order and we grab our meal 
right when we seat down i cause a big deal
 i looked at my food and guess what i see 
they put lettuce ketchup and mayonnaise and the receipt says plain with cheese
 i cause a fus and a big scene it all worked out
 the food was free and i got back my 20


so we didnt have to pay.
 we got out there real fast and started a good day.
 but we were still hungry and what did we do? 
well we thought a shopping cart would fit through the drive through.

 a bad idea? i dont know. but me and west thats how we roll.
 so we climb in and away we go we went so fast no a time was spent
i was like " i hope we dont hit a car i hope we dont cause a dent"
 we finnally got to the end of the drive through 
so we told em to give us order number two and dont for get order number three
 right when we grabbed our food we jumped out of the cart and then we flea



so our trip to mickey d's was quite amazing at the least... 
as we eat our burgers and join in a great feast.
im like dang what are we doing 
we are packing our face s like a 8 year old eats pudding
 im a skinny kid but now i feel like a fat as pig 
i ate so much im starting to feel sick

so fat we feel. cuz we ate to much. kinda bad idea. 
who would of thought of such.
 well me and west kno how to kick it. eat mickey d's all day is good living


Details | Lyric | |

Like A Glue Trap

Let me give you a little rap You remind me of a glue trap You just being there Keeps drawing me near Then when I get close I get right up to your nose Once you make the touch I get pulled in so much Then there’s no letting go You know, this hug from Flo It’s just so hard to pry away Comfortably stuck, I’d like to stay When we do break the hold My body is like a jell-o mold So it made me want to do a little rap Because you are - like a glue trap Florence McMillian (Flo)


Details | Free verse | |

Weeding The Moonscape Of My Back Garden

Weeding the
moonscape of my back
garden,
Truly, it's a big
deal.
Weeding the
moonscape of my back
garden,
My nerves shredding:
The concrete weeds,
I steal
myself for this task
Herculean,
I've delayed, I
admit, for cosmic
eons.

Bravely, finally, I
resolved and booked
one week's annual
leave -
To prepare, to
recover,
From this task that
may take up to two
full-blooded
man-hours!

I'm impelled to
enquire,
Must I find the
power
to take on the
abysmal brat of
flowers?
Fetch me a flask of
sports energy drink,
Complex sugar, I
think, my devotional
shrink.

You see,
I write poetry, so
must I also do
things?
Must I really stand
alone on that flat
dune of grey,
Pockmarked with such
monstrous green
swaying?
The weeds, they are
almost thirty
centimetres, and
grimly rising!
I stare at them from
the window, I'm not
really crying.
Wouldn't you rather
I just wrote this
poem?
How many fresh dead
poets does the world
need?
I'd like to be a
living tragic poet,
not one that weeds!
(That's too tragic,
even for me).

And, look over
there! See!
I might get bitten
by that bumblebee!
And I sneeze like a
banshee when near
trees;
Sometimes three
sneezed sneezes I
issue near weeds.
Yes, banshees do
sneeze.

Weeds are angry
wannabe baby trees,
I'm feeling quite
I'll already,
So ill, I've just
spelt it I'll.
Now that's I'll,
Sorry, ill.
Where's my quill?
I need to scroll the
interweb,
Order some pills -
Those ones,
Exported from the
moon, made in
Hy-Brasil;
Those especial
potions you don't
require an ignoring
doctor to see,
I must have illegal
anxiety.
I'm a poet, it's my
job, silly!
And -
I. Don't. Do.
Wrestling. Weeds.

Yet, here I stand on
the precipice,
There they sway
taunting me,
The emerald streaked
posse of thorny
triffid pisse.

Well, here goes -
One small step for
man, maybe,
But one giant leap
for a poet such as
this..


for more of my
humorous poetry just
google Suki Spangles


Details | Rhyme | |

Wood Pecker

Wood~Pecker; Wood~Pecker,
Peck My Tree Drive Me Hollow
Til' I Scream~Cream..

Don't Waste Time Go At
A Steady "Pace," So I Don't 
Loose Sweat Nor Faint.

Your Long Beak Slams Like:
Hammers N' Nails When My 
Heart, Pounds Hard N' Heavys 
Beat: Sending It Through The 
Roof: Is Where I Want To Go.

Another Good Blow,
With One More Ounce 
Of Good Love; I Am 
Bound To Give You
All That You Need.

Say's The Wood Chuck; Chuck....


Details | Rhyme | |

Lady Delilah Dow

Action, action! What a commotion!
“What is the latest trend?
Is there going to be an end?”
Lady Dow is trying to deliver
Leaders running to assist her

Oh, it’s a Global Countdown
Yeah, it’s a Global Meltdown

Come on Doctor Bush, make her to push
“We need some stimulus
Package in some dollars”
Come on Doctor Ben Bernanke
Is it only cutting rates?

Stage III, now it’s just got to be!
I can see the hair 
Oh it’s a wig so unfair!
“Its shoulder dystocia, or a flu from Asia!”
Naah, its simply financial inertia!

It’s getting serious, I am curious
It’s gotta be Cesarean
Who is gonna be the Surgeon?
Will Bush gift it to Barak
Will Hillary, McCain or Romney wake luck? 
Huckabee, who will it be?
Oh pain, oh pain! Who is gonna bring the gain?
 


Details | Lyric | |

I Am A Jock

A bad play
On a deep and dark September
Gazing from these bleachers
To that ref who blew that call
On a freshly painted court in the middle of fall

I am A Jock
I am A Flock


I've got balls
A fortress deep and plenty
That none will discinagrate
For friendship brings me joy
It's laughter from my best friend Roy


I am A Jock
I am A Flock

Don't talk  hate
For I've heard much before
It's resting in my head
And I'll try not to wake
So It doesn't make you cry
For if I never would of put on that cup
You've  never heard  awwwww shut up


I am A Jock
I am A Flock


I have my hooks
And my cup to protect me
I am such a world charmer
Hiding behind an ump
So another won't bump
I touch no one and he better not touch me


I am A Jock
I am A Flock


And a Jock feels no pain
And a flock seems to die




This is off spin
To Simon And Garfunkle's
I am A Rock    LOL
Gl All


Details | I do not know? | |

Packin In My Dreams

45 years behind me
I’m startin', reachin’ for the dream
I left my front porch crying
Only tears of fear
Then wiped my face
To keep it crystal clear

Your too old
You’ll unfold
They’ll laugh at your attempt
Get back in the house!
Cook a meal !!
Don’t continue.
Check the menu.
The kids are needin’ ya now!
Leave your dreams.
Give it up.
Hubby’s havin’ a cow.

I had my dream evaluated
Measured, tested, and weighed
All the experts told me
I really should have stayed…
home on another cookin’ course!
Well I’m not a cook or waiter
So instead of changing all my dreams
I traded in ‘the evaluator’
“neeeeeeeeeeeeeext!” that's my theme!

Your to old
So I’ve been told
Yep they laughed at my every attempt
Get back in the house
Don’t continue
Give it up
Pack it in
There’s nothing for ya here
There’s no chance to win a grammy!
Just relax and have a beer.

My new dream evaluator looking up said “mama mia”
Rubbed his chin and promptly asked
“who gave you this idea??’
I gathered up my things
Tried not to take a swing
He blurted, “for goodness sakes!!”
I’m only asking…
I’m just saying …
Looks like this is it…
Think ya just caught your break

I was told I was too old
I was told to pack it in
I was told to not continue
I was told I’d never win
I was told to get in the kitchen
Good things can happen to those who clean!
Today I’m packin’ for seven
Yep I said “for seven”!
My whole family shares my dream

I traded-in my evaluator instead of packin’ in my dreams
I’m not packin’ in my dreams
I never did pack in my dream
neeeeeeeeeeeeeext was my new theme!


Details | Lyric | |

Trigger Finger

I'm here to settle the score, teaching you the meaning, casualty of war.  I've got 
you dead in my sight.  My scope is always precise.  On the battlefield, you've 
given up all bargaining rights.  Don't look for divine intervention, your suffering is 
my bullets intention.  The only thing more conceited than you, is my trigger finger, 
for It never hears sympathy or pleas, with me the trigger always agrees.  There 
are no negotiations, just my guns willing anticipation of a trigger fingers 
agitation.  Next time we don't hesitate on pulling the trigger.


Details | Ballad | |

THIS BIG OLD WOMEN

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING, LOOK ACROSS MY BED.
THERE WAS THIS BIG OLD WOMEN,LYING THERE IN MY BED.
SHE PUT HER ARMS AROUND ME,GAVE ME A HUG.
I FELT LIKE I WAS BEING SQUASHED LIKE A BUG.

I WENT OUT ON THE TOWN,DID ME SOME DRINKING.
I BROUGHT HER HOME,NOW WHAT WAS I THINKING?
I DONT KNOW WHAT I DONE,OR WHAT I SAID
TO HAVE THIS BIG OLD WOMEN HERE LYING IN MY BED.

LORD,LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME.
STOP MY DRINKING,SET ME FREE.
IF I DONT STOP MY DRINKING,
THIS BIG OLD WOMEN IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME


Details | Lyric | |

Take you

you're like the beautiful starz and the rainbows
I can take you anywhere you want to go
come ride in my shuttle, I have no cars
we can travel to venus and then mars
we can visit the beach and dance by the sea
we can make love under the palm trees
excuse me, do you think we meant to be
if you ask me I can picture you and me
living heaven on earth
growin old together(happily married)
I can take you to a place that no one goes
its somewhere ova the rainbow
take my hand, plz dont be afraid
to go to love land, real love is the way
I can put you in the zone
so you dont wanna go
I whispered in your ear
words no one told
now you gettin hot
I got your mind blown
now you dont wanna leave
you dont wanna go home
you're like the beautiful starz and the rainbows
I can take you anywhere you want to go
come ride in my shuttle, I have no cars
we can travel to venus and then mars


Details | Lyric | |

Family is Overrated!

Headin’ back home
I don’t know what to think
I want to roam but
"I disagree," says my shrink

What does he know anyway?
And why does he want me to stay?
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

Walkin’ through the door
I see my dad
My bags hit the floor and
My dad looks rather mad

Why does he think I’m so bad?
And whys he always mad?
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

I see my mom too
What does she think
She says, "Your rents due!" and
She leaves with a wink

Why should I have to pay rent?
When all my moneys spent?
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

I see my brother
Sittin' on his bed
I ask him, "What’s with mother?" But
He never heard what I said

Never liked him anyway
I feel like I’ve been betrayed
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

We gather ’round the table
For some dinner
"So are you able to
pick anyone but a sinner?"

My mom never liked my girlfriend
Thought she’d pass like a trend
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

Packed my things up and
Headed for the door
"I’m leavin' for a distant land!" Then
My mom’s jaw hit the floor

Never liked my family anyway!
Wanted to leave every day!
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!


Details | Name | |

GINGERBREAD MAN

G- gingerbread man run as fast as you can
I-  if I ever see you again I'll cook you in my pan
N- next I will nibble all about 
G- getting you will be easy, with out a doubt
E- ever consider someone might eat your eyes out
R- red jelly eyes I wonder what flavor they are
B- buttons on your belly might be tart
R- run away from me now that eating may be an art
E- ever think about how it delicious candy clothing may be
A- average American snacking, just like me
D- down the hatch is what you'll be

M- morning, noon or supper for eating you up I'll be the man
A- after I eat you I'll wipe out the pan
N- now I am going to eat you, come here Gingerbread Man   


Details | Lyric | |

Ode To "Survivor"

Another season of Survivor is almost at an end.
That there will be a "shocking twist", you can depend.
Jeff will be snarky, and the Jury, too.
"Why should we give a million dollars to YOU?"
"Let me explain why I'm the best player EVER!"
That is every remaining contestant's endeavor.
Immunity Challenge victories are a must to move on.
If you fail at those, you will likely be gone.
There will be strategizing all day, and conspiring all night.
With only 5 Castaways left, the end is in sight.
At the final Tribal Council, we will finally get to the vote.
But before it is read, Jeff will hop into a boat.
The suspense is nerve-wracking, who will win Survivor this season?
Will the Jury be vindictive, or vote with common sense and reason?
After Jeff reads the votes, the winner is announced live.
The audience erupts like a swarming beehive.
The time has now come for the "One Hour Live Reunion Show".
The questions begin; there's so much we want to know.
Were there any secret scandals, does everybody hate each other now?
Will Jeff get an amazed look on his face, and say surprisedly, "Wow!"?
Last but not least, we will get Previews for next season's show.
The anticipation is crescending, soon it will overflow.
Next thing you know, Survivor is over once again.
Soon, the emptiness and despair will descend.
How will we survive the next 2 months of our lives?
The trauma will surely make us all break out into hives!
Just when we think we can function no more,
And we're crying like babies down on the floor.
Right at the time when we begin to think that our spirits have been broken,
We hear the glorious words of Jeff, "The tribe has spoken!"!
Our spirits are renewed, Survivor is back one more time!
I can finally put an end to this silly rhyme!
Thursday nights will once again be the best.
We will find another favorite player, to whom our hearts will invest.
We will hope they form the right alliances and play the game smart.
To be voted out, would be a dagger to our hearts!
Survivor will live on, this thread will NEVER die!
When next season ends, we will once again cry.
The summer will be boring, we will be counting the days,
Until the Fall Season arrives with a new group of castaways.
If you read this entire poem, I am extremely impressed!
Survivor fans are truly the best!
I can't wait to join you, on the Survivor journey next year!
Until then, I wish you good luck and good cheer!


Details | Ballad | |

JACK DANIALS I CRY

IF I was a monkey,lived in the zoo.
I swing from the vine,that what I would do.
But IM not a monkey,dont live in the zoo.
So I will drink my JACK DANIALS,give a toast to you.

If the ocean was whiskey,and I was a duck.
I swim to the bottom and never come up.
But the ocean not whiskey,and IM not a duck.
So I will play TEXES HOLDEM,and drink to my luck.

JACK DANIANLS,JACK DANIALS,I cry.
If a car dont roll over me,I will live till I die
If I die meet ST. PETER,at the gate.
If IM drinking my JACK DANIALS,he will have to wait.

JACK DANIALS,JACK DANIALS,cream of the crop.
IM going to drink my JACK DANIALS ,until the day that I drop
When I drop,fall flat on the floor.
IM going to pick my self up,and drink me some more.


Details | Cowboy | |

Ode to the Cowboy Yodeler

One Day I was listening to an old Cowboy song
My boots began to tapping & I began to sing along
A Cowgirl stepped to the mic & as she began to sing
It sounded like a falsetto auctioneer pulling vowels out on a string

I perked my ears & listened, it didnt seem that hard
If I could learn to yodel, I'd be a Cowgirl Superstar
So I warmed up & just let loose
Was that the call of a lovesick moose?

So I adjusted my pitch, had my stance down pat
Just as I began to yodel, I swear someone stepped on a cat
I struggled on through most of the day trying to warble & trill
And If I'd not sprained my tonsils & tongue, I'd be at it still

Let's hear it for the Cowboy Yodeler, Head & shoulders above the rest
For in mastering the yodel, you surely passed the test
I only have one question, I'd really like to know
Why they sing about her & where did the little old lady go? 


Details | Free verse | |

I Got Dough {Solfege}

Do -  do   -        a female la beer
Re -  re    -        a drop of re beer
Mi  -  mi             without my mi beer  
Fa-    fa -           place to drive to get ti beer
So  -  so   -        you ran out of mi beer
La   -  la   -         la de da la de da I'll wait for la beer
Ti  -    ti    -        spilt spilt ti beer so no more more of la beer

Do - Do              Do la la think I'm sexy after about six six so beers  LOL 








Got Beer !
Over The Lips Thru The Gums
Look-out Stomach Here It Comes LOL

Also Entry For Izzy Gumbo's Solfege Contest


Details | Lyric | |

Overtime Again

Overtime Again   
by Dave Stinnett

What is it about this temperature you always keep so hot
You always want to “fire me up”, when you’re getting’ all I’ve got,
I spend my whole life cookin’ things I know you’ll never eat,
There’s more than iron that’s melting from this God forsaken heat, 

It’s me, your oven, on overtime again.
I hope you’re making money for all the time we spend Makin’ 
smoke, red coals and hotter fires to help our steel post bend,
I’m always there to heat it up, it’s overtime again.

I’ve built up quite a friendship with a piece of iron today
He guessed you messed up several times from the things he heard you say,
Your banging, swearing, apron wearing times about to end if I 
Hear that you are blaming your mistakes on me again.

It’s me, your oven, on overtime again.
I hope you’re making money for all the time we spend makin’ 
Smoke, red coals and hotter fires to help our steel post bend,
I’m always there to heat it up, it’s overtime again.

Last year I almost called it quits, when you stoked me at the “Farm”
I’ve always had the hottest fire to heat the hardest “arn”
But you really hurt my feelings when my door swung open wide
And I saw a pair of hot dogs on a hanger poked inside

It’s me, your oven, on overtime again.
I hope you’re making money for all the time we spend Makin’ 
 smoke, red coals and hotter fires to help our steel post bend,
I’m always there to heat it up, it’s overtime again.
It’s not the jalapenos I cooked with your burritos 
It’s not the jalepenos I feel burning deep within.


Details | I do not know? | |

Just Love and Peace

Simple as that, just love and peace.
Writing for all who need a release. 
Writing for those who can't seem to find 
A poem that compliments days and nightime.

Dream time comes I wake but don't write.
No need to bother, be silly laugh light.
I plea for comedic, no drama because, 
it makes things pecuilar and creates too much buzz.
So the lesson plan today is simply just laugh.
Just peace and love, you hold the bat.


Details | ABC | |

Don't You Wish You Could Dress Like Me

So you wanna know my secret of my wardrobe success 
It is all in my shopping habits I must confess 
Why spend a fortune to look like a million bucks 
I catch the bargains, I guess it's all in the luck 
I am the only one in style as you can plainly see 
Don't you wish you could dress like me 
From hospital scrubs to camouflage capris 
Just admit it, you are jealous of me 
I notice so many of the females have no fashion sense 
Look at my closet, so many clothes, I need a table of contents 
I will soon open my fashion hot line 
Just call 1-800-so-fine 
Now a contractor will expand the closet for more wardrobe capacity 
Don't you wish you could dress like me 
Joan Rivers is now requesting I join the Red Carpet Fashion Police 
She wants to bring me in instead of her niece 
I tell sorry, there are so many women screaming for my help here 
One example is Zena, her taste in fashion isn't too clear 
I just won a Pulitzers prize for my book titled Queen, the Fashion Authority 
With a little self discipline, you have a slim chance, if none, to be able to dress 
like me


Details | I do not know? | |

Happy Birthday ENTERTAINMENT PROMOTER

Happy Birthday GROVE STREET E-N-T"

To the "ENTERTAINMENT PROMOTER"
with the most~
"Quid pro quo per buck"
let me say ~
happy happy birthday to you ~
i lift up my glass with a~
"lyricvixen LYRICAL Toast"
just as "PARTIES HOSTING FUN"
and "VIP Clientèle HOT"
as to say to you ~
i hope you have a ~
happy happy birthday~
that only a
"COMPLEX MONEY MAKER"
like you can do ~
happy happy birthday ~
to a
"INDEPENDENT INFLUENTIAL PROMOTERS"
as "NOTABLY FLY"
and "EXCLUSIVELY hot"
as "GROVE STREET E-N-T You"

aka:lyricvixen
-------------------------------------------------------------
Happy Happy birthday Tati"

To the "PRETTIEST GIRL AROUND"
with the most~
"PREFECT SMILE"
let me say ~
happy happy birthday to you ~
i lift up my glass with a~
"LYRICAL Toast"
just as "BUEATFULLY BRIGHT"
and "ALWAYS SEXY"
as to say to you ~
I hope you have a ~
happy happy birthday~
that only a
"GIRL IN A PINK Bi·ki·ni"
like you can do ~
happy happy birthday ~
to a "WONDERFUL GAL"
as "HOT-O-licious"
and "SWEETLY FRIENDLY"
as "Tati, GOOD GIRL YOU"

aka:lyricvixen


Details | I do not know? | |

writer's block

I can not think
of one word to say
I can not write
one word I think
I have writer's block,..
and it stinks.
Clever expressions, hard nose impressions,
all words escapes me,
oh how I wish I knew 
just what to do
to find a way 
to unblock me....


Details | I do not know? | |

I kept you in the hard disc

I should have keep you
In a floppy disc or in a CD
It was my mistake 
I kept you in the hard drive

It may be the reason
It is hard for me to forget you
You occupy a major portion
In the hard drive of my mind

I shouldn't have that serious
Then I wouldn't have cry like this
But it happened and I am helpless
I can't do anything to change it anyway

I tried to erase you from my mind
I found it very hard to do it
You spread all over me like a virus
I may need a overhaul clean-up

Time is the best medicine
To cure this kind of illness
Move away is another option
Some may say it is coward's behavior

I should do something very soon
It is really bothering me a lot
I am thinking of many options
I hope that I will find the right solution


Details | Rhyme | |

It serves you right

I came home,
And you were gone.
You left a letter,
Said you were movin on.

Said you didn't,
Have time to explain.
You were headin to boston,
To catch the next train.

Now you'r back,
Knockin on my door.
Lookin for the love,
That don't love you anymore.

It serves you right,
To be as lonely as you are.
It serves you right,
You torn my world apart.
So go back to the one,
Who took you from me.
I dont need you no more,
Now that i can see.

Now I am sittin here,
Soakin up the sun.
Thinkin of you,
And what you have done.

Feelin no more pain,
And healin my heart,
It serves you right,
To be as lonely as you are.

It serves you right,
To be as lonely as you are.
It serves you right,
You torn my world apart.
So go back to the one,
who took you from me.
I don't need you no more,
Now that I can see.

I don't need you no more,
I'm soakin up the sun in miami.


Details | I do not know? | |

A BELL FOR MY FLOWERS

A BELL FOR MY FLOWERS

My FLOWERS are keen
And watch what I do

My FLOWERS count time
And lies when they’re true

My FLOWERS fill a bowl
At the edge of my mind

There in the moonlight
My FLOWERS are enshrined

Fresh then are my FLOWERS fine
Love of floral, love of mine
Left alone, left to shine
All that’s bright and twice divine

My FLOWERS need a bell
That rings on Sunday morn

A bell of splendid color
For FLOWERS when they’re born

My FLOWERS lean north
To drink from porcelain dish

My FLOWERS lean south
As willpower turns to wish

Fresh then are my FLOWERS fine
Love of floral, love of mine
Left alone, left to shine
All that’s bright and twice divine

My FLOWERS follow kings
With gemstone and stained glass

My FLOWERS stand at guard
No ancient age shall pass

My FLOWERS catch rainbows
And blue peas in a spoon

My FLOWERS press aloft
Under starry winter moon

Fresh then are my FLOWERS fine
Love of floral, love of mine
Left alone, left to shine
All that’s bright and twice divine

RAMA INK.
2010


Details | Rhyme | |

Ho Ho Ho

Go to sleep 
Go to sleep
My little ones

Or Santa
Just won't come


For he knows when you are awake
For He knows when you are asleep

Close your weary eyes now
And I'll go take a little peek


Tap Tap Tap
Upon the roof

It's santa coming 
For I hear reindeer's hoofs

Hush Hush now
Don't say a word

Better hurry 
And fall fast to sleep
Or he just may leave you a big turd

Let sugar plums
Dance in those pertty little heads

As I made sure
Santa was nice and fead

Cookies and milk
With nothing else

Oh thank you my dear Lord
For this nice little cord

For they are fast to sleep
Now I can go back to bed
And count my own lost sheep



























Details | Imagism | |

An Innocent Dream

Last night I saw a dream-
I was in the midst of a brown gleam;
The spot was like a land of cream;
Lakes and ponds were full with it -upto the brim.

Beautiful blossoms were everywhere,
The fragrance were for everyone to share ,
The snow flakes seemed most fair,
It seemed that Nature has created them with great care.

Chocolate creams made up the seesaw,
There was cno one to guide me under law,
There was no signs of fears and flaws,
And there was a cream cat with snow white claws.

What a dream it was just like the beauty of a rose-
But all were shattered when the light of dawn fell on the tip of my nose.





Details | Rhyme | |

Fast Awake

Thank God for 7-27, when my son flew in
Life as it should be will forever begin
Charming little visions of how days are meant
To teach him as he shows me how life is spent

Listen to me now and read what I find so true
Words are like a beat that can start a groove
Bring the rhythm back to lift your spirits up
Don't worry too much because we all get stuck

My life seems to stop before it begins
Caught in another ever-recurring trend
Giving away every one of my previous wins
With Faith and company until my life ends

It's time now to be down again
Even faster than western winds
Life can run around, leave you in loop
Feeling that life needs one more scoop 
Tip the timer over, fall with the sand
Live for every second you possibly can

I will soon learn should luck turns up
I'm lost, backwards, and running amuck
Trying to regain what I thought I missed
Elusive, erratic and ending up like this

Never have I wanted to be other than here
Life in crystal-clear brings visions near
Capable are your dreams so easily achieved
All you have to do is work & truly believe

Look for a big picture in whatever you see
Never believe free, it offers no guarantee
Just sit back and listen to tales they tell
And make your own path but remember it well

Don't try to be so deep, just work to relax
Make life a story but include all the facts
Learn about yourself when you're at the mic
Work the crowd just to see what you're like

Life will soon be everything you need it to be
Proceed with sight don't let only destiny lead
You always have control in every step you take
Follow dreams today and always live fast awake

At times I don't know where this path would go
Like I'm hosting a show I've never seen before
Filling in the gaps, taking punches for others
Learning along the way what life really offers

It’s time now to be down again
Steps closer to an unknown end
Digging up dirt nearly burying yourself
At least the digging is good for health
Live your life now, stay until the very last
Live your life today as if it's already past


Details | Ballad | |

I Can Finally Drive

My bicycle days are through 
Please help me spread the news 
I no longer have to be a 32 year old hermit 
Mom and Dad got me my permit 
I just bought a car that seats 5 
Thanks to my parents I can finally drive 
Mom goes with me and my girlfriend out to eat 
Mom rides shotgun, my girl in the back seat 
While we are eating with live entertainment 
My girlfriend expresses how she doesn't like the car's seating arrangement 
So my mom drives and my girl is shotgun 
Now I am the lonely one 
We drop off my girlfriend and I ask my mom to remove the knife 
She says stop complaining, now you can drive 
The next night my Dad goes out with me and my buds 
We want to sit back and suck down a few suds 
Not on my watch, my Dad says 
My night out with the buds was disastrous 
After one beer, my Dad says you are too drunk to get behind the wheel 
He has no idea how this freedom of driving makes me feel 
My Mom and Dad are smothering me, my social life will never survive 
With them around, it look as if I will never truly drive 
Now it's Mom's turn to escort me, guess where we go 
My girl and Mom in the front seats, we stop at Domino's 
We all three sit in the car and wait for the pizza to get done 
Mom says no a/c, let's enjoy the sun 
I begin a waterfall of sweat 
Mom says look at you, you're all wet 
Mom asks for extra napkins when the pizza is delivered to the car 
Mom says tonight is Friday, let's park by the lake and enjoy the stars 
At the lake, I will drown myself, if I take a dive 
I am going back to the bicycle, I will never again attempt to drive


Details | Ballad | |

Sesame Street Buns

The casting crew look at you and their minds go in the gutter 
If you knew their thoughts, it would make you shudder 
Ernie feels left out without his rubber ducky 
Big Bird believes he can lay eggs, he tells himself maybe tonight I will get lucky 
You strut around with your Daisy Dukes to tan in the sun 
Every sees your exposed Sesame Street buns 
Go visit Maria, she has the fix it shop 
Visit oscar and revel in his slop 
Mr. Hooper allows you to run a tab in his General Store 
Snuffleupagist with a snozz like that, I bet he really snores 
Now you have a date with Louise in apartment 101 
He is salivating as he thinks about your Sesame Steet buns 
Watch out J-Lo you have a rival from the backside 
Dirty thoughts cause men to approach a non Catholic Priest to confide 
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new number one 
Hang your head in shame J-Lo the one on Sesame Street has the best buns 
The Count counts the votes over and over all day long 
Bert is on steroids, now he's strong 
Get to the church, the wedding has just begun 
Grover is marrying the one with the Sesame Street buns 
Hearts are broken, she is no longer in the singles scene 
Cookie Monster covers his depression with cookies and cream 
Within a month they are divorced 
Not surprised, they are celebrities of course 
She is now used goods, everyone is stunned 
J-Lo moves in to the neighborhood to claim the title of Sesame Street buns


Details | I do not know? | |

"One Two Comment"08"

 	  "One Two Myspace Comment"08"


1,2 i myspace see you
3,4 a myspace comment, is at your door
5,6 lets myspace do this
7,8 it feels so myspace great
9,10 lets do it all a myspace again~
11,12 so lets ring that myspace bell~

BY:lyricvixen
=================================================
 "DO I KNOW U"

would you like too~
i am wild but shy
caring but selfish
nun-ish even when i write sins

by:lyricvixen
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Details | Rhyme | |

You Feelin' Me?

I'm not critically aclaimed,
I ain't got no money to my name,
I'm having ot hang my head in shame,
there ain't nothin' good about me,
I'll just have to wait for you to see.

I'm going to let you go,
and if you come back, we'll take it slow.
Look into my eyes,
and dang boy, please don't lie,
ah, come on, don' be shy,
tell me how you feel,
and be real.

Lier.

I'm gonna beat you in the head with a giant hammer,
gonna cause a clamor,
I'm gonna drag your body to a hotel,
gonna crack you worse then the liberty bell.

You feelin' me?

I'm gonna stab you in the heart with a lit cigarette,
feel no regret,
I'm gonna scream at you,
and if you run I'll pursue.

You feelin' me?

Oh no, I don't think you see,
nobody lies to me,
I don't think you feelin' me,
I guess I wasn't meant to be on your family tree.

You feelin' me?

What do I have to do to knock some sense into you?
I'll give pain where pain is due,
I'll shoot you in the head with a water gun,
then I'll suffocate you with a hamburger bun,
I'll drown the eyewitness,
then practice physical fitness,
I'll chase you down when you run,
then I'll shoot you with a real gun,
I'll shoot you in the head,
bang, you're dead.

You feelin' me yet?


Details | Free verse | |

Bee's

{bee's}

the dancing machines
please stay away from everyone's knees
you very nasty

{bee's}

Please please please
stay away from especially
my knees you very nasty 
and honorable theives

{bee's}

so please fly off to those daisies
for these these these are the only way I want it to

{ bee's }





Little Song Jenny And I came Up When She Was 4 LOL 
Thanks All For Stopping

Also Entry For Matt Caliri's Contest
Funnest-hardest Poem Ever


Details | I do not know? | |

And We Drink!!

With a shot and to a swallow
To chilled from within
A pint with frigid golden jumps 
To this a game begins
The orb, a cup shall swallow from
A coin crashed drown to win
A deck, a hand, a cup lift up
In more we drink again! 


Details | Lyric | |

Time Travelin' Man

He traveled through time, playing his country tunes
His melody of life, a time machine in his room
Stunned them in the nineteen twenty's, with Let It Be Me
And awed them in twenty-one twenty, with a Hank Melody

He fell in love in twenty-three twenty, at the Starlite Cafe
And when he gave her a kiss, he found she wasn't a she, she was a he
So he got back in his machine, and headed for Tennessee
That's where he met Elvis, in the year of seventy three

Chorus:
He always kept travelin', this time travelin' man
Playing the oldies, to a new kind of fan
They laughed at his clothes, but applauded his toons
As they listened to him playing, under the moon

He traveled back home, with a star in his eye
Ran into his wife, she just set there and cried
He gave her a kiss, showed her his machine
They both crawled in, and have never been seen

Chorus:
Oh! He always kept travelin', this time travelin' man
Playing the oldies, to a new kind of fan
They laughed at his clothes, but applauded his toons
As they listened to him playing, under the moon


Details | Narrative | |

MI COMMA TO AMERICA ( I CAME TO AMERICA ))

Mi camma to America wid a passion for moni en fud,
hoppin to getta rich;
en de sai det gold is founda in striz!
Mi work en work ol dei
to meke sam dollar,
en mi eat pizza, en drink vino...
mi wanna be lika Al Pacino:
a famos attor ov Hollivud! 
En me veit too mani iers, to see butiful voman 
laika Marilin Monro...whata a fess!
Whata a bodi! A Diva so sexi!
En mi wanna be laika Valentino from Italia,
to sedus ol duh pritty ladi vid mi ciarma;
en ol kiss mi...O locki Casanova!  

English Translation:

I come to America with a passion for money and food,
hoping to get rich;
and they say that gold is found on streets!
I work and work all day
to make some dollar,
and I eat pizza and drink wine...
I would like to be like Al Pacino
a famous actor in Hollywood!
And I waited many years to see beautiful women
like Marilyn Monroe...what a face!
What a body! A Diva so sexy!
And I like to be like Valentino from Italy,
to seduce all the pretty ladies with my charm;
and they all kiss me...O lucky Casanova!!

Entered in Deborah's Gucci, " Dialects make the world go around "
(Brooklyn-Italian dialect)

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Alliteration | |

Girl Girl Girl

Whether we wander wistful
whether we wander wise
we waltz wedding’s waltz; whenever
whatever weather
we’ll wriggle with wishful wives

Wind wispy willow
willy-nilly we’ll whirl 
we’ll widdle we’ll weave; whenever 
whatever weather
we'll waltz with wedding's wench

Well worthy we writers
who with words wrench









Finishing Line Press.  Book FAREWELL TO THE DUST, by C. S. Leaf avalible March 2008
www.FinishingLinePress.com


Details | ABC | |

Trailer Park Body (

I could not afford a Bow Flex, costs too much 
I get diagrams to build my own from a man named Henry Clutch 
The instructions say if I build it right 
It will make me lean and my stomach tight 
The first step, according to the instructions, is to collect empty beer bottles and 
cans 
I go across the road to see Inez and Stan 
They open their closet and tell me to take what I need from empties in here 
I was kind of disappointed when none of them were from Busch Beer 
They ask me what are they for, I tell them they're for a hobby 
I smile as I see myself in 32 weeks with a trailer park body 
The next step is to collect some full sand bags, I know who to contact, the 
National Guard 
I know a female Sargeant there, he name is Louise, but her troops call her Black 
Bart 
She has the looks of her dad Stew 
But she has a singing voice like Julie Andrews 
She hooks me up with three full sand bags, which is more than I need 
Step three I can't do, it would violate the trailer park creed 
I guess cheaper isn't always the way to go 
I bragged to my wife about the new me, but now I must eat crow 
I decided to use the stuff I collected to decorate the front yard, but my wife said it 
would look too gaudy 
I look around at the heroes here at the park and realize that after all I do have a 
trailer park body 
Now I am back to square one
This trailer park is rippin' and roarin' fun
That couch sitting out in front of lot nine
After it's dark it will be mine


Details | Ballad | |

Pennywhistle Tune

Fried eggs on a sunny day,
white clouds in the hamper.
Dreamfully dozing dogs,
black kittens scamper.

Dim-witted clock alarm – 
nobody’s sleeping!
Morning’s a carousel
dipping and leaping.

See all the ants in line.
What say the roaches?
Beetles go soaring in
shiny black coaches.

School kids may all digress
skipping the sidewalk. 
Lawyer may lose his tongue,
judge climb a beanstalk.

Brown eggs and buttercups,
blue-starch the collar.
Moth-wings on sale today,
six pair a dollar.


Details | Limerick | |

Things do happen

Funny things or crazy things of the world
Small or big, things do happen in the world
when our heart wants to go some where
but the way becomes tough to go any where
what we give nobody takes
what we ask nobody gives
colorful weather do exist
color of the wind never exist
when we are in a hurry
we often have to worry
scratching the head to think something
working hard to achieve something
All these may be our activities
We may get reward for our abilities
When utilized in a proper way
Then success will be not away
we should always keep in mind
we should never look behind
things of whatever kind
may happen one day
wait for the day


Details | Lyric | |

we started out kinda

we started out kinda real young
baby i know i was a fool,
now ive grown up
all of the things we use to do
do you remember
i wanna be your man,
aint tryna be ya friend (be ya friend)

so tell me do you like it
drop, top, mercedes benz
top up ,cause your hair be (blowin thru da wind)
wheels spinning, hair did( blingin ring) ya dig

she pull up at the club lookin like, millions,
billions, watching you from a distance
all the fellas be watching you like a vision
ya sexy thighs,sexy hip, sexy midsect
looking real good,make a reggin wanna hit that,
forget that, i think im ready for commitment
so are you ready for submission

"oh"

n-e-ways, i know you with him for a short change
but you and me together forever,
will never change
when i was younger all i thought  about was spitting game
never caring about your feeling was to remain,
the same, im sorry i cause you all this pain ( i promise you)
i fill them all with brighter days
(and hopefully) i just get a chance to say, that
(i love you) and i hope that you feel da same way 

Hmmm....


we started out kinda real young
baby i know i was a fool
now ive grown up
all of the things we use to do
do you remember
i wanna be ya man
aint tryna be ya friend, be ya friend

i aint tryna be ya friend...
girl i only wanna be ya man
so baby want you let me in...
and i promise it will never end
repeat2x


Details | Free verse | |

Two: Babel On

The eclectic neglected feel so disrespected you know I wrecked it where ever I step -ed and you would, dismiss it? I'm brain fried a drain dried step up to my main eye in the middle of my seeing stones I see your tone, its mellowdrone Neglected eclectic you seem so collective it seems so effortless the celebrated, all frustrated because they can't get any more wasted or useless I won't waste it on you, another thought I know I can't break through your drought I know I can't prove to you, it's rotten that doing the right thing is toughest often I guess I'm neglected, come from the collective and consciousness is overrated for the freest all sleep naked.


Details | Lyric | |

DIARY OF AN HONEST WOMAN

A woman's like a cat,
coniving and keen.
One minute purring,
the next minute mean.
She'll slice open your heart,
with her sharp claws.
And as you know a woman,
she has no flaws.
So don't bother trying,
to put up a fight,
Cause no matter the man,
the woman's always right.


Details | Light Poetry | |

' The Art Of Dancing ... ' (Part 1 of 2)

‘ The  Art  Of  Dancing… ’


Oh ! … How I Love To Dance
Why… Do I Love To Dance ? …
… it’s Rhythmic … it’s Ritual
The Body Is So Beautiful !

Oh ! … How I Love To Dance
Why … Do I Love To Dance ? …
If You’re Breathing – You Ain’t Still
Check Your Heartbeat and It Will …

Dance … Into A Fantasy
Virtual Reality
Dancing Makes Me Feel So Free
… Come and Do A Dance With Me

Dancing … is Good Exercise
Dancing … Adds A Spice to Life
Dancing … is A Natural High
You Can Do It … If You Try …

… Head, Shoulders, Legs, Feet
Get ‘em Moving to The Beat
Back, Arms, Hands, Hips
Shake, Stomp, Slide, Slip

Bend, Bop, Break, Bounce
Push, Pull, Prance, Pounce
Soul-Roll, Slow, Fast
Jump, Jiggle … All That Jazz !

Dancing … is A Form of Joy
Do It ! … Baby Girl and Boy
Keep The Music, Playing Please
Honey … Just Look At Your Knee !

When I Dance … I Come Alive !
Waltz, Cha-Cha, Swing, Jive
Circle, Square, Line, Freestyle
Tango, or Step – Side to Side

Innocent – Interaction
Expression – Satisfaction
Set-it-in Motion … You and I
… Aaw, Just Look At That Guy

Oh ! … I See You’re Moving Now !
… thought You Didn’t Know How ?
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! … He! He! He! …
You Dance ‘bout as Good as Me ! …

Supper-Club, or in My Room
At Your House … or Under The Moon
If I Hear A Real-Good Tune …
You Will Know, I’m Dancing Soon

… Dance … Into A Fantasy
         Virtual Reality
Dancing Makes Me Feel So Free
… Come Dancing Now … With The MoonBee


Posted for:  Jared Pickett, ‘Cause I Know
       He Loves To Dance… (Smile)

                 MoonBee


Details | I do not know? | |

Sometime i Judge YOU

"Sometime i Judge YOU" 

what would i do 
if i knew the real you 

would i spit 
on  dirty hidden you 


could i forgive 
all your ugly big sins 

is it even my place 
to through it all in your face

you, the hole
you. the thief 
you, the one wHO put your hands on me 

so what, what 
you think you got the best of me 
SO IT SEAMS

so what ,what 
must i wait 

is this the plan 
to see you  BURN 
in HELL

i don't want to wail~ 



aka:lyricvixen


Details | Rhyme | |

Let's Duke It Out

I was born in nineteen sixty nine
just off the block and in my prime
now let me introduce you to 
some pertty good friends of mine

Let's start with my uncle Jesse
to me he looks like he's ninety nine
but I love to watch him when he
takes nips from his moonshine 

Here's my owners Bo and Luke 
cousins of a kind just hanging out
with Daisy who looks 
so sweet and so darn fine

But There's some other folks
that just don't like our kind
its those sheriff folks thats
watching the hazzard county line

Starting with their fearless leader Boss Hogg
Who's radioing all the frigging time to
Cooter and Davenport And to that rascal
Rosco P Coltrane who he cannot find

Now my life is such sweet devine
when your jumping in and out of my windows 
while running from those sheriffs from Georgia County line
in my general lee waving a confederate flag thats in it's prime
Honking my horn to a dixie tune of same kind



Tribute To The Dukes Of Hazzard LOL


Also Entry For
Christopher Higgin's 
Get Your Rebel On!


Tho This Poem Is Not About A Person 
Changing My Life But The Time Era Did
And Something About That Show Changed Me
About Opening Your Heart And Home To All


Details | ABC | |

My Wife Beater Shirt

I buy the Hanes three in a pack 
I have a house, not big, but not a shack 
I drink my juice sitting on the couch 
I have no ambition, I am referred to as the slouch 
I sit out front and drunk before the morning sun 
With My Wife Beater Shirt I Get Things Done 
My girl gets a welfare check every month on the first 
I have her brainwashed like Patty Hearst 
But then again, I have many hoes 
With my smooth charming ways, I keep them close 
I am the spider, they are the flies, what a web I've spun 
With My Wife Beater Shirt I Get Things Done 
Sweat causes me to change my shirt too soon 
Maybe I should switch to Friut of the Loom 
I just got a new ho with a love that stuns 
With My Wife Beater Shirt I Get Things Done 
The Marios come by to sell me some heat 
Stolen fresh from up the street 
Huge discounts on plasma tv's 
They say I can choose from several dvd's 
Now the cops have got me on the run 
With My Wife Beater Shirt I Get Things Done 
Now I'm sitting in the clink 
No hoes, no welfare, no juice to drink 
Now I wear orange and pick up highway trash 
Free meals, a bed, a roof over my head, there's no need for cash 
According to my coveralls, I am inmate number 101 
Without My Wife Beater Shirt, I No Longer Get Things Done


Details | Lyric | |

permanent marker

ima leave this earth 
with a permanent marker
ima make sure
im tha one you remember
dont cha know
im hip hops-adolf hitler
when i spit ryhms
im tha biggest killer
watchin a movie
im tha-serial killer
you cant compete
im tha one you gonna remember


Details | Monorhyme | |

G for ganja

G for God -
G for ganja!
G for good -
G for ganja!
G for great -
G for ganja!
G for gold -
G for ganja!
I wonder
What a stanza!


Details | Ballade | |

Pour Me Another Cup Of Java

Oh just pour me another cup of java
Nice rich and steaming like hot volcano lava

Rustle me up some bacon and some beans
Even throw in some of those good looking greens

Pop that toaster up come on let's go
Theres some grass that I still gotta mow

Kiss grandma on her rosie cheeks
And even uncle Joe who's fallen fast to sleep

Mop the floor where someone spilled
You can alway's later blame it on brother Bill

Dog's barking at the mailman's feet
Running Jumping growling looking for a treat

Mom yelling for kids to get out of bed
If I have to come up there someone will be dead

Newspaper laying at the front door
Waiting for someone to read it and explore

Clock ticking time to hit the streets
Feeling tired and looking very beat

Wish I had never gotten up
To this hot steaming java that had filled my morning cup



Little Song in head 
Gone Wild    LOL











Details | Cowboy | |

Listen T' This Little Ditty

I sometimes think my poetry ain't poems in modern favor.
Intelligentsia declares, but I danged well won't waver
from writin' simple, unpretentious words 'n' thoughts called “witty”.
From now on my poetry ain't a poem, it's called a ditty.

“Listen t' this little ditty.” I've heard those cowboys say
when they begin to sing a song of wisdoms of the day.
Now I don't think me wiser than the smart guys that I know,
but I just like to fake it in my stand up poet's show.

Now cowboys, they write poetry to sum their thoughts in rhyme
'bout words o' wisdom or describin' real weird points in time -
like twisters twistin' towns apart or floods that float the cows
or simple words, “what goes comes 'round” brings thinkun' jus' like owls.

So listen to this little ditty, if fer nuthin' else than fun
of listenin' to a cowboy fake that he's a wiser one 
a spoutin' words of poetry that some folks may call “gritty”.
I'll seldom waiver from my writin' what I call a ditty.


Details | I do not know? | |

Roll'in Dem Dare Stones...

Wilfredo, hey buddy, I was thinkin' more along the lines of,"Sympathy For the 
Deviled Eggs"!!!  Regards,tom


Details | Lyric | |

merry christmax

bells are jingaling
carolers singaling
happy christmas songs
jack frost nippaling
at my nose
while i'm singaling
christmas songs

chestnuts roasting
turkey baking
dinner wont be too long
the tree is loaded
lots of toys
for the girls and boys...

bells are ringaling
carolers singaling
happy christmas songs
jack frost nippaling
at my nose
while i'm singaling
christmas songs


Details | Burlesque | |

Pretty Kitty

It's Saturday night and I'm cruising
Power poles going by like a picket fence
Just cruising the scene in my street machine,
looking for a queen who wants to do her best.
Bar hopping door knocking looking for a cat with claws.
Just petting her and letting her grab her whip and be my boss.

Lookin for a roadside attraction,
a lot of long legged action,
a place where I can chase,
a kitten all laced up,
with no one to swing her string.
Went downtown to the playground looked all around ,
and found a sweet thing like a candy machine,
doing naughty things on the dance floor,
shaking her sexy thighs.

I leaned over and told her as I nibbled on her ear,
"Take a drink of that bottle and grab hold of my throttle, 
let's fourth gear out of here."
We split the scene like a time machine,
like a freak streaking through the zoo.
Like a horny rabbit it's a habit gotta have it 
hit the highway doing a hundred and two.

She was my toy full of joy, my snack in the sack
All night I couldn't tame her flame. 
But when I got up at dawn my wallet was gone
that girl knew how to play her game.

Bar hopping door knocking
all the pretty kitties got claws
and if you pet her and let her 
do the night thing called the kitten dream
She'll walk away and say it's all for the cause.


Details | Lyric | |

swirve on

if you got tha nerve
to getcha dance on
report to tha flo
and getcha lean on
from the left to the right
getcha swirve on
getcha swirve on
getcha swirve on

if you got the nerve
to getcha dance on
report to tha flo
and getcha swirve on
from the left to the right
getcha lean on
getcha lean on
getcha lean on

Im on the flo
I get my swirve on
everybody in the club
getcha lean on
from the left to the right
getcha dance on
if you got the nerve
move ya feet and bring it on

getcha swirve on
getcha getcha
swirve on
getcha swirve on
getcha getcha
swirve on
repeat2x:

move ya body on the flo
and get busy
keep movin ya feet
and get dizzy
straight butta
when i glide across the room
I swirve on
aint nuthin this smooth

getcha swirve on
getcha getcha
swirve on
getcha swirve on
getcha getcha
swirve on
repeat2x:

swirvin impala
bass is bangin
on 22s' while my rims keep turning
i hit the blocks
while my car keep swirvin
i swirve on
everybody lookin


Details | Lyric | |

Between You And Me

Some of the little things
That tried to brake us apart
Should of made us strong in our hearts
Because you are the love of my life
I love being your wife
I treasure all our moments together
It is the funny things 
That you do, makes me smile
And life is good with you
That our love can last awhile

(Chorus)
Between you and me
We can make our love right
Between you and me
And we can love each other 
Between you and me
We can last forever

When we started out
Others and they had there doubts
They said we wouldn't make it
Between you and me
We can work out the mistakes
Together we can work it out
Together we can make it
Threw all the hard times, rough roads
We've climbed over mountians
Carried some heavey loads
Together we are rasing a family
And my sisters to
And if we have arguments
Between you and me
Realize we all make mistakes
But it takes us to make it right
( Repeat chours)

Some of the little things
That tried to brake us apart
Should of made us strong in our hearts
Because you are the love of my life
I love being your wife
I treasure all our moments together
It is the funny things 
That you do makes me smile
And life is good with you
That our love can last awhile

Between you and me


Details | Rhyme | |

Bum Fights

I’m poor, you’re poor
I’ll fight you for your door
Your box, your shoes 
I’ll wish you many more
I’m poor you’re poor
There’s no exit from these doors 

What for, what for 
You unraveled on my floor
Adore your score
But your rash looks really sore

No more, no more 
You’re slacking on your chores
I’m poor, you’re poor
I need lotion for my pores 
Instead, I’ll fight you for your door
Your box, your shoes 
I’ll wish you many more 
I’m poor, you’re poor 
There’s no exit from these doors 


Details | Lyric | |

sexstacy69

creamy creations
i love this situation
cookies and cream
strawberries and dingalings


Details | Light Poetry | |

' The Dance ... ' (Part 2 of 2)

‘ The  Dance … ’


Oh … How I Love To Dance
Why … Do I Love To Dance ? …
Its Rhythmic … Its Ritual
… The Body is So Beautiful ! …

Once … I Saw The Ocean Groove
… That’s The Way, I Want to Move
Earth-Spinning, Round and Round
Don’t You Know … We All Get Down ?

Don’t You Know, What The Good-Book Says
‘God’ … Moves in Mysterious Ways
That Is Why I Love To Dance …
… His Empire, Moves In Elegance !

Lord, Have Mercy, Keep Moving Me
Moving and Grooving, to Your Glory !
Blood-Flowing, Lung – Breathe
‘ The Spirit ‘, is Zooming … You Better Believe !

( Just Look At It Move ‘His’ Girl, MoonBee !_

Acrobat, Hip-Hop, Ballet
Art of Tap, Polka, Reggae’
You Can Do It !… I Know You Can
Just Listen, To That Bible – Band ! …

Music … Just Adds Motivation
Stirs A Soul To Celebration
Dancing … is A Declaration
We’re On Cruise-Control, In His Creation !

Dancing … Can Be A Holy Act
God, and His Son … Like It, Like That
So, Nod Your Head … Do The Wave
Signal ! … You Want To Be Saved !

Don’t Be Shy … At Situation
Meet Me At ‘ The Revelation’
They’re Opening Up, The Garden – Gate
… Hurry Now … Don’t Be Late !

Cherubs, gonna’ Let Us In
No Cover Charge … Bring A Friend
Oh ‘Son of God’ … Please Partner Me
… Dance Me To Eternity !

Oh, How I Love To Dance
It’s A Rhythm – Romance
Passion – Performance
Yes Lord … I Love To Dance

Dance! … into Eternity
Dance! … Better Than A Fantasy
Dance! … Universal Dance Floor
Dance! … Don’t You Wanna’ Dance Some More ?

Dance ! … Now, Can’t You See ? …
Dance ! … We Gon’   P a r t y !
Dance With This Girl, thru The Galaxy
Dance With The Stars and The Only MoonBee

Boys Shout ! … ‘Bring On The Dancing Girls !’
God’s Making A Wonder World
Them … Us … You … and Me …
Still Moving … To His Mystery !

           Now Dance ….


Details | ABC | |

Keep Me Under Control

I am so wild, I carelessly run around
I am the last horse in a one horse town
I'm as wild as wild can be
I have zero guidance, so I live my life aimlessly
Do what you have to, send me to assist the Border Patrol
I need someone to neuter me and keep me under control
I live life by the seat of my pants
I don't want love or trues romance
I believe that every moment counts
When you fall down, there is still time and room to bounce
If a jet can fly, it can surely land
When wrong is done, justice needs to be a firm hand
One day I may feel peace and love deep in my soul
When I find that one that can keep me under control
If there is a poster child for bad, it has to be me
I do not welcome the Devil, but there will be no begging for mercy
I often wonder what do people think
I really don't care after my third hard drink
You are wasting your time if you want to preach
You are educated, so do your best to teach
I am not worth being loved by you, so do not glow
I want discipline, so do your best to bring me under control
I party and sin and live as I please
I will never be driven to my eyes
I am a rebel and that will never change in my life
Not looking for love, a white picket fence or a loving wife
I can take the streets and deal with them blow by blow
Are you the one to keep me under control
Some people have it, some don't and some never will
I'm tired of hearing about it, I have lived it, now it's overkill
The question is do I want to sell my soul
You can save me if you can keep me under control


Details | I do not know? | |

A Life And A Prayer

Lord I pray
That if today
If someway
Would end,

Before I lie
Before I die
Before you cry
Think it over again.


Details | Lyric | |

piss poor of a man

you a sorry piss poor of a man
you been around the block
you even slept with my friend

i dont see
why you cant get it right
you come in-late at night
we start to-fuss and fight
youre not actin right

you a sorry piss poor of a man
you been around the block
you even slept with my friend

im the kind -
who speaks her mind
boy you wasting my time
i think you should leave
cuz you keep hurting me

plz dont testify
dont wanna here no lies
you can not change my mind
you wasting your time

you a sorry piss poor of a man
you been around the block
you even slept with my friend
repeat2x:

i guess you cant 
get it right
you will never
get it right
all i asked of you
was to treat me right

breakdown:
you slept around
"back then"
you even slept
"with my friend"
youre trifflin
"to the end"
you and me
"never again"

you never payed a bill
never asked how i feel
you never payed attention
never take time to listen

you a sorry piss poor of a man
you been around the block
you even slept with my friend

you think
you got it like that
when in fact it's not like that
you need to step on back
listen to all these facts

you a sorry piss poor of a man
you been around the block
you even slept with my friend
"friend"
repeat2x:


Details | Free verse | |

Trouble By kimmy holmes,{ my daughter)

I've stayed away from trouble
Straightened up my life
I pay the rent
when rent come due
I gotta a day job
I'm goin to school
I give up the whiskey
the late nights out
I got  myself a savings account
But here comes TROUBLE
Ridin up on his 4X4
He scuffs them dusty cowboy boots
across my polished floors
Here come TROUBLE
he's just in time
I've been so good
Nearly lost my mind
If I could just get into TROUBLE
I'd be fine
Mama, you're gonna be so disappointed
when you hear I've turned a fool
But this get tin up early
Five days a week ain't cool
Ima gonna pop the tab on this cold Coors Lite
Go lookin for trouble
Maybe a fight
If Iand in jail
I've done it right


Details | ABC | |

Master Pimp Meets the Ultimate Red Neck

A man walks by in a gray polyester suit 
He tells another man to call him Juice 
The other man in bright orange hunter's clothes, he looks bold and brash 
He tells Juice to call him Cold Hard Cash 
They sit at the bus bench to discuss a new business they want to start 
It all begins tomorrow around the corner at the local trailer park 
Cold Hard Cash tells Juice, this is my last 500 bucks, but what the heck 
It all started when the Master Pimp met with the Ultimate Red Neck 
Cold Hard Cash tells Juice, follow me, I will give you the grand tour 
Starting at my trailer on lot number four 
As they enter Cold Hard Cash's place, it smells like rotting potatoes 
Juice enters and slips on some cherry tomatoes 
Cold Hard Cash says here and hands Juice a plate of sauerkraut and dogs 
He tells Juice, if you stick around for supper, I will roast us some frogs 
Juice asks Cold Hard Cash, after we eat, can I be given the golden key to the 
park 
Cold Hard Cash, says let's go next door we will begin at Judy Starks 
Juice goes with Cold Hard Cash to interview their first employee in their line of 
money makers 
After the interview, Judy says yes, Juice comments, she's a real shaker 
At the next interview, the girl shows them why her picture used to be on Breck 
This all transpired when the Pimp Master hooked up with the Ultimate Red Neck 
Juice says we need one more so we can rotate them around the clock 
We will put them to work outside the laundry mat and liquor store, which are on 
the same block 
Cold Hard Cash asks what if one calls in sick 
Juice answers in a business voice, then one of the others will pull a double shift 
Juice points and asks what about this place 
Cold Hard Cash says you don't want to see her face to face 
Cold Hard Cash says she's the one they used to design Shrek 
Good luck with your business, Master Pimp and the Ultimate Red Neck 


Details | Ballad | |

Your Body Can Break a Man's Bank

I look around and it is you I see 
A girl who is a stock market catastrophe 
You are a high risk investment that won't pay out 
You put on your makeup like bathroom grout 
I have no idea where you fall in the official rank 
But your body can break a man's bank 
So what you have changed the color of your hair 
Your personality is a car without it's spare 
Keep in mind, this is just me and my point of view 
You are that piece of meat spit out because it was too tough to chew 
You are the left over beer that wasn't drank 
But your body can break a man's bank 
Your face is like a painting that looks good from far away 
Men still flock around you to my dismay 
You are the results of an out of hand prank 
But your body can break a man's bank 
The perfume is not hiding the fact that you don't bathe 
That tells me it's not cuddle time you crave 
I give up, be straight with me 
You are from the gutter, but men treat you like the queen bee 
In a word game, your brain is the blank 
But your body can break a man's bank


Details | Ballad | |

Hoochie Koochie Bop

It all starts when you walk in the door 
Men hoot and holler as you enter the floor 
Your body shakin' in all the right places 
As you look around you see the looks on the men's faces 
The music and the electricity have you pumped, you just can't stop 
You show the crowd how to Hoochie Koochie Bop 
Another hottie comes out to show you up 
You both compete to see who has the better stuff 
The gyrations, all the steamy moves 
Another hot mama enters the floor, she is well into the groove 
The crowd goes wild as a man grabs your waist 
You tell him I'm the candy you will never taste 
He asks what does it take to get what you've got 
You tell him to get off the floor, you can't Hoochie Koochie Bop 
A female approaches you and grabs your hand 
Something about this seems right, she understands 
She smiles at you, you smile right back 
You know she is only after one thing, that's a fact 
She wants to take you to her penthouse loft 
Maybe it's time for a one on one Hoochie Koochie Bop 
The dance floor feels so good, so right 
You tell her to go, you want to dance all night 
A couple more shots of tequila will do the trick 
You want to slow down, things are moving too quick 
You are flawless on the floor, no one will mock 
You are the master of the Hoochie koochie Bop 


Details | I do not know? | |

Tales Of Hero's

There once was a man who lived in Sherwood,
Who all the folks called Robin Hood.
He stole from the greedy,
And gave to the needy,
But would steal from the poor if he could!


Details | Burlesque | |

Hark, Hey Harold, the Calif. Angels Sing!!

Hark, hey Harold,
the Angels sing....
glory to the homerun king...
piece of turf,
with bases wide,
runners steal,
when pitched inside,

Come ye bunters,
drop one down,
see if we can win
the division crown

Piece of bleachers,
crowd gone wild,
all because of
the runner's glide

Hark, ol' Harold,
get some franks,
and give to heaven
your heartfelt thanks!!


Details | Burlesque | |

Walking In My Winter Underwear

a parody on song "Winter Wonderland"- inspired by my winter alone in an 
unheated house.

"Come away, I am threadbare
Snow is falling....
Where there' be hair..

A cold-as_sed dam_  night
It's really a fright
Walkin' in my winter underwear..

Butt-cheeks gleaming
Through the holes, near the seaming
A nasty cold a_s,
My skin is blue cast
Walkin' in my winter underwear..

In the meadow we can make a snowman
And pretend that he's an EMS
He'll say- "sonny is that really you?"
Or did someone paint you a_s blue? 

Later on, I'll perspire
When I light...
My a_s on fire....

It burns so that way
I'm happy so say
Walkin' in my winter underwear...."


Details | Ballad | |

Bubba Spent the Night

Our son asked can a friend stay over
He just moved here from dover
The friend says tonight's Friday, usually we have pig's innards
He says my name is Cleetus Billy Joe Jim Bob Jones, after he stutters out his 
name, it's time for dinner
But you can call me Bubba, he seems very polite
I pray no nightmares as Bubba spends the night
I tell him we are having Makerel Cakes and Mac and Cheese
He says I will take four cakes and two helpings if you please
Boy you sure do have an appetite
I tell my son our budget won't allow Bubba to ever again spend the night
Soon dinner is over and Bubba still wants to eat
I grab a funnel and melted bacon fat and tell him to have a seat
He says we eat fatback soup sometimes on a weekday
He tells me the doctor tells his whole family, that sometime their arteries will turn 
to clay
bubba says I don't eat for calories, I eat for taste
I tell Bubba, if you keep eating like that you will become hazardous waste
He laughs and cheers in delight
This all happened when Cleetus Billy Joe Jim Bob Jones spent the night
At 2 am he asks for a snack
I give him a sleeve of Ritz crackers and a pound of Monterey Jack
I hand him a jar of Grey Puopon
He says after I eat this, there may be trouble in your john
He smiles and asks for a Diet Coke
I try to watch my health, I don't drink or smoke
Eight more hours, then our budget will be alright
He asks when is the next time I can spend the night


Details | I do not know? | |

Julie's Candy Store

for all you musicians out there- this is a standard blues progression in the key of 
life;

"well, I've had my days....
and I've had my nights.....
yeah, I've had my lays....
and I've had my fights..
but I carry on...
hopin' some day
 to see the lights...

I've suffered some,
in my married life,
I suffered most,
at the hands of my wife...

cause she treats me bad,
and I'm meek, like Barney Pheiff...

well, I've had my fun,
ain't gona have none no more,
yeah, I've had my fun....
but now I'm shook to the core...
cause she kicked me out,
don't live there anymore....

yeah, she kicked me out,
cause she said I snore...
I'll never understand...
that woman I so adore....

well I got a room,
one I was lookin' for,
but its got its problems
problems that I can't ignore....

see, I got a place...
just over Julie's Candy Store...
cheap enough, as it had to be,
ain't got much money anymore...
but I got a problem...
all because of that cheatin' whore....

refrain;

yeah, it ain't no fun...
livin' on top of Julie's Candy Store,
no it ain't no fun'
of this I can assure,
I get so embarrassed,
ain't got no bathroom door....."

by bill and tom bell


Details | Quatrain | |

SPIRITS AT THEIR DOORSTEPS

Chilly October has quickly brought in
another spirited, indelible Holloween;
allowing our witty and insane minds 
to plan the craziest, wildest things.


Witches, wizards, goblins and ghosts
all join in to give a bone-chilling night;
I put on a custom so dazzlingly white,
to scare anyone who laughs and boasts.


This ghost is never spoken of in any tale,
unknown by name, leaving no easy trail;
the only thing he does well is making sneers,
and send everyone scrambling with screams.


How frightened and pale these kids must really be,
when they cuddle up in their beds and can't sleep,
thinking of those spirits at their doorsteps;
lots of fun and delight at their expense...         


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | I do not know? | |

"Porkpie Jones."

Porkpie Jones has brittle bones, and crusted corn-filled toes,

And sleety eyes and bulgy thighs, and brillo pad elbows,

His underarms are typical farms, and reek a barnyard smell,

Its quite the place for creepy, crawly, parasites  to dwell,

The ample dirt in his ears and on his head has just began to harden,

There's so much dirt on him everywhere, he could grow a flower garden,

The birds fall quickly from the sky, whenever he starts to speak,

His teeth and gums are as black as coal, and all his bone joints squeak,

He trips when he walks, spits when he talks, and spills everywhere when he drinks,

Three triple Dagwood sandwiches to him are a light snack, his decorum and etiquette 
stinks...

The ground shakes when he takes a step, and cars fly when he sneezes,

And he feels free to dine and snack on anything he pleases!

The sight of water gives him chills, and soap will make him screech,

He can't fit in his bathtub, so he bathes at the beach,

Porkpie dives into his drinks, and scorns the use of cups,

And when he falls, some will laugh, but the ground starts cracking up...

He's never been able to touch his toes, he can't reach any farther than his hips,

When he bends over, its always a treat to experience a total eclipse,

His home is in disarray, it needs improvement,

Porkie Orlivander Jones scorns unnecessary movement,

He's absolutely clueless, on how to close the gate,

Or feed his starving fish, or wash his every dish,

Or vacuum his entire floor, where dust mites romp and roam,

Or change his heaping can of trash thats nearly large as Nome,

Loads of bills that he won't pay, coat his table tops,

He puts his Suitcase in his closet, right next to the lamb chops,

Porkpie never was that bright, in school he was a tease,

In fact I think his grades were so low, that he would get straight Z's!

Well we all can learn a lesson here, I'm sure that all is known,

That we must keep our appearances neat, and always brush and scrub our feet,

And be respectful when we eat, or we could all end up like Mr. 

Porkpie Orlivander Alowicious  Alexander GianCarlo Markowitcz Jones!!!!!


Details | Burlesque | |

Have Your Shelf a Merry Little Bookcase...

Have your shelf, a merry little bookcase,
because you know it's true
Your books are piling up
and you don't know what to do....

So have your shelf
a merry little library.....too


Details | Ballad | |

Z Lovely 39

She comes in just before 6:30 
Donald's ride will never be early 
Their relationship is not kept under cover 
She calls him her big brother 
Now they both drive a 300, Donald says his is better 
There is nothing like the smell of leather 
Zena keeps hers cleaner, it holds more shine 
She has a nickname I gave her, Z Lovely 39 
She starts to freeze when the temperature dips below 79 
Her heater is on full blast most of the time 
Palmetto bugs, spiders and snakes 
Zena will run a mile a minute to escape 
Donald said he is thinking about moving his desk out in the warehouse to keep 
from walking back and forth 
5-2-9 suggests Donald buy some Dr. Scholl's cushioned insoles to prevent his 
dogs from getting sore 
Zena just got her new clothing catalog from 1-800-SO-FINE 
It was addressed to her exclusively, Z Lovely 39 
Another day starts with my desk neighbor, new adventures will arise 
Donald will spend most of his day by her desk, comes as no surprise 
He has romantic visions tumbling like a dryer in his mind 
He will always big brother to Z Lovely 39


Details | Lyric | |

rollercoaster

i feel you oozing out,
like a rollercoaser,
ima take you on a journey,
like a rollercoaster,
ima make you climax,
like a rollercoaster,
im not done yet,
this just begun

ima kiss and tease,
bring you down to your knees,
rub me, lick me,
you better aim to please


Details | Lyric | |

I Hope It Rains...

I Hope it Rains…
I Hope it Thunders with Lightning
I Hope The Wind Kicks-Up, ‘til its Frightening
I Hope There’s a Hurricane Sighting…

‘Cause, that’s How I Feel, Right Now
‘Cause You’re Leaving Me Anyhow
After All the Love I Gave to You…
… Now, I can’t even Talk to You
… I Hope It Rains…

I Hope it Snows…
I Hope an Ice-Berg - Breaks Your Back at the Door
I Hope a Blizzard - Buries You… Ice-Age-Slow
I Hope an Avalanche ‘Catch ya’, as You Go…

‘Cause, that’s How I Feel, Right Now
‘Cause You’re Leaving Me Anyhow
After All The Love I Gave to You…
Now, I can’t even Reason with You
… I Hope It Snows…

… This is The Fury, of a Woman Scorned
… if I had my way… You’d Never Been Born !
… I Hope It Storms…

I Hope it Hails…
I Hope it Hits You in the Head and Beats You Down
I Hope it Crushes Your Heart and Dreams – All Around !
I Hope it Knocks Your Suitcase and Soul, to the Ground
… Honey … I Hope You Never Make it to Town…

‘Cause that’s How I Feel, Right Now
‘Cause You’re Leaving Me Anyhow
After All The Love I Gave to You…
Now, I can’t even Hold Onto You
… Look – Here Comes The Rain
… Here Comes The Rain…

I Hope The Clouds – Start Fighting
I Hope the Air – Starts Biting
I Hope You’re in a Tornado and It Starts Tightening
… I Hope it Floods Out There – ‘til You Look Like A Viking !
… Here Comes The Rain … Here Comes The Rain


Details | Ballad | |

Honey Wagon

It makes it's run in the afternoons Monday through Friday 
At 3pm it will be coming your way 
It's not a ride for all to enjoy 
It's mainly for the girls, just a few boys 
But one female's heart is draggin' 
Ms. Betty ponders the question I don't know why he won't give me a ride in the 
honey wagon 
The men that receive their ride know their ranking in the food chain 
First rule, men get in the back, sit down, shut up and don't be a pain 
A new girl started today, her name is Megan 
One of the guys has to go, to open a seat for her in the honey wagon 
When someone is not at the pick up area, the seat remains unoccupied 
For the men there is a lot of red tape to qualify for a ride 
Who will be the next guy with the right to be braggin' 
Fred wants to know when will his name be coming on the list to ride in the honey 
wagon 
Today it is running late 
The honeys know it is a long walk to the gate 
If it takes a man to be a prince and slay a dragon 
He will do any thing for the honor to ride in the honey wagon


Details | Cowboy | |

Bitten

Cowboys don’t fear the coyote, 
   he just yips and yowls, 
But the wolf is another story, 
   your blood chills when he howls. 
And a panther, will stalk you, 
   even in the dark, 
And a bear, when he catches you, 
   will tear you clean apart. 

The best thing about a snake bite, 
   is it kills you pretty quick, 
And those “under a rock crawlies”, 
   their bite will make you deathly sick. 
But the most vicious of the critters, 
   the one every Cowboy fears, 
Inflicts a type of torture, 
   that can leave grown men in tears. 

With a bite so excruciating, 
   it will make you wish that you were dead, 
And there’s nothing more terrifying, 
   than when it raises it’s ugly head. 
It attacks without warning, 
   it’s cold-hearted and just plain mean, 
It considers all men prey, 
   and will any one that’s seen. 

The suffering, is lingering, 
   and to this very day, 
There’s no cure or medication, 
   that can take the pain away. 
It’s just the size of a pin point, 
   and it don’t get much bigger, 
But I’ve seen Cowboys brought to their knees, 
   by the savage bite, of the Chigger.          


Details | Ballad | |

BLUEY'S REFLECTIONS

Blue was feeling melancholy and was far from feeling jolly 
by the window of his quarters on that moonlight night in May. 
The old mate was broken hearted since young Jess and he had parted: 
that’s the Jillaroo from Bancroft who had jilted him that day. 
 
And old Blue would really miss ‘er, as she was a bonzer kisser, 
and he told this to a large green frog perched on the window ledge. 
This poor Ringer quite horrid, as his hand held up his forehead, 
and he gave the frog the run down like it was some privilege. 
 
“Do you have a girlfriend, froggy,  that just leaves your mind all foggy 
when she puckers up to kiss you and she makes you feel on high? 
As a kisser Jess was real hot and I reckon by a long shot  
she was up there with the best of them … except perhaps for Di. 
 
“She’s the blonde girl that’s a Nanny, on the place where my mate Danny 
breaks in horses every summer, and a looker, that’s for sure.  
Mate, this Di she was a goer and I’m glad I got to know ‘er, 
as that girl could suck your lips off and she’d leave you wanting more. 
 
“But we broke up in the summer, which I thought was a real bummer, 
so I hitched up with her cousin who’d come out to stay a while. 
This gal was a city floozie and her name I think was Suzie 
and her tongue it darned near choked me, but she certainly had style. 
 
“Then she went back to the city, which I thought was a real pity, 
still, I met young Katie Swenson at the rodeo that night. 
Sucking face was that girl’s passion, but I soon went out of fashion, 
as I found she kissed near anything that came within her sight. 
 
“So it’s hard, mate, just to pick one that I fancied as the best fun, 
as they all bring back fond memories but they all slipped through my grip.” 
He just sat there quite dejected and it came quite unexpected 
when a moth alighted on the top of poor old Bluey’s lip. 

The frog’s tongue flew into action, but his aim was down a fraction 
and it rattled the old tonsils in the back of Bluey’s throat. 
The old Ringer’s eyes went teary and his sight went kind of bleary 
and the words that bushman uttered I’m afraid I cannot quote. 
 
To this day it’s told by bush folk and believe me, this is no joke, 
it is ritual when Bluey goes to town and hits the grog, 
that he tells the same sick story, how no girls can match the glory 
of that moonlight night in May when he was tongue-kissed by a frog. 



Details | Lyric | |

imma triplethreat

ima triplethreat
im clamin the flame
and during ice age
i was the comet that came
))))HIT IT(((


Details | Ballad | |

Cruisin' With My Homies On Four Doughnuts

Love is not the answer to every issue out there 
There are choices brunettes, blondes or curly hair 
So we pile in my car to go check them out 
They look at us laugh and shout 
I'ts so obvious what's so funny, this really shows it 
Cruisin' with my homies on four doughnuts 
Three homies and I are burning some gas 
I am stressed, I just ran over some glass 
The tires stay firm, do not go flat 
You can't explain something like that 
Big Bertha asks for a ride, but with her weight, the car just won't hold it 
She will not be cruisin' with me and the homies on four doughnuts 
Stop at the store to get some brews 
Out of Colt 45 so the Bulls will have to do 
We catch a nice buzz, good enough to make me smile 
Fuel will be a concern in a few more miles 
After the beer, we combine our pocket change 
I payed for the beer and the gas, isn't that strange 
Girls can now be our main focus 
My tires are from a Ford, Chevy, Dodge and a Lotus 
It's always an adventure with me and the homies cruisin' on four doughnuts


Details | Lyric | |

When Pugs Cry

Dig if you will a hole
Of you and I engaged in a kiss
The dirt on your nose tickles me
Can you help me
Can you dig a hole

Dream if you can a backyard
A field of yellow in bloom
Pugs strike curious poses
They feel the pressure
The pressure of a doodie in tow

How can you just leave me squatting
Alone in a backyard that's so cold…so cold!
Maybe I'm just shedding
Maybe I'm just like my father, too old
Maybe you're just like my cousin
He's always outside…he's always outside!
Why do we doodie on each other
This is what it sounds like 
When pugs cry

Rub if you will my stomach
Feel how my dinner trembles inside
You've got my legs spread eagle
Don't make me bite you
Even pugs have pride

How can you just leave me squatting
Alone in a backyard that's so cold…so cold!
Maybe I'm just shedding
Maybe I'm just like my father, too old
Maybe you're just like my cousin
He's always outside…he's always outside!
Why do we doodie on each other
This is what it sounds like 
When pugs cry

Ooh, ooh, ooh, baby!
This is what it sounds like
When pugs cry


Details | Burlesque | |

All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Doors!

yes, all I want for Christmas
is my 2 front doors,
my 2 front doors,
my 2 front doors...

yeah, all I want for Christmas
is my 2 front doors
my 2 front doors...
to replace the ones
broken in once more!

Santa comes down the chimney
But theives come thru my door
Breakin' in again this week
To see what is left to take anymore..

All that they will find,
shards of wood...
and doorknob lying on the floor
just remnants of what
was once...
my sturdy old front door...


Details | I do not know? | |

Rumors

Rumors are known to cut like knives
Start fights and end lives
All becauce a hater despises
What they've seen through their beedy eyes
Foulness covered by flies
Unknown demise
A demons chest game played with real lives
He said, she said, with a little bit of what you've said
Leaves some one dead
All from words that got in to some body head
Rising situations like to much yeast in a small batch of bread
Scared of the out come so you flee in your mind
Revisit the drama another time
Things don't change
Words still inflecting pain like magic BING! BAM! BANG!
Another rumor rapes a name
Heated like hells flames
Jealousy indures creating a killer like the first murderer Kane
Names lay slain
Slandered by the foulist of mouths
Skeletons pulled from the closet to be placed in piles
Brains began to crowd
Smiles now frowns
Ups now downs
Like tears from a clown
Emotions burst out
People lash out against the innocent
Whom have nothing to do with it
The hater wins again


Details | Rhyme | |

Off The Road Again

Off the road again
Just our ATV's 
And some good friends
Hitting the trails 
And winding bends
Starting and Making
Some new and different trends
On our ATV's once again
Cleaning the mud and gunk
From our teeth that just blends
With our armor that continues to defend
The king of off road that just wants to send
A here's mud in your eye to all 
My good buddies and friends




Tribute To ATV's
Here's Mud In Your Eye   LOL


Love Kathy & Jenny
Maybe Next Song Too


Details | Ballad | |

Side-Kicks

Rabbit was my turtle who never won a race
Red is my fish but he's blue in the face
And I love my pets but they do no tricks
So I play all day and sleep at night with my sidekicks

My sidekicks~ Wa! Cha!  My sidekicks~ Wa! Cha!
Sometimes we stand on bricks, play swords with sticks
Sometimes we have tools for fixin', lollipops for lickin'
But when it's time quit and switch, they're still my fav clique
My sidekicks~ Wa! Cha!  My sidekicks~ Wa! Cha!   (Chorus)

Smokey is my cat and I love him too
Got a little kitty, named her Crystal blue
And another fish in a bowl I call Fins
But they do no tricks, so I play with my sidekicks again

I got Teddy and Roy and my bulldog Bully
And at bath time I get to dunk my pal Sully
Then there's Croc but is he an alligator
And Fishy is orange, before I see you later
I gotta tell ya Mr. Duck is now Mr. Quacks
But my favs of all time is Tang Tang and Scratch

And though they're stuffed animals~ they do all the tricks
Like my play friend Jerry- they're my sidekicks

(Chorus)

A Song for my son Caleb at age 4


Details | Ballad | |

Beer Money, Wine Taste

If you could read my mind you'd know that I'd never talk
And if I could stretch a mile you'd know that I'd never walk
But I've got to get up to go to work to my nine to five
To keep the pace in this rat race I have to survive
But this minimum wage pay will never help me out Lord
So I need more cause I want more than I can afford

(Channel)
Cause all my friends are driving Benz's and wearing expensive clothes
With bigger houses and finer foods so this is my status in quo

I've got beer money, I've got wine taste
Can you see it in my eyes, its written on my face
Give me this, give me that and I don't want to wait
But I've got beer money, I've got wine taste
And uh~ beer money, and uh~ wine taste
Always make me wanna haste but that leads to waste
So I'm praying for some patience and little more grace
With my~ beer money and my~ wine taste         (Chorus)

But my money and my patience's short, the line is long 
And when things start looking right in life what's left is wrong
I need extra strength this and I need fast relief that
Someone call western union hurry cause I need some cash
To pay my debts and all my bills, I'm planning to buy a lot
Because I'm always wanting something that I just don't got

(Channel)
Cause all my friends are driving Benz's and wearing expensive clothes
With bigger houses and finer foods so this is my status in quo

I've got beer money, I've got wine taste
Can you see it in my eyes, its written on my face
Give me this, give me that and I don't want to wait
But I've got beer money, I've got wine taste
And uh~ beer money, and uh~ wine taste
Always make me wanna haste but that leads to waste
So I'm praying for some patience and little more grace
With my~ beer money and my~ wine taste         (Chorus)


(Bridge)
I need designer hats and jeans,
A limousine on the scene
To keep up with the Jones;
I need some precious stones.
I want to be in the spotlight
In restaurants day and night
With the means to these ends nonstop;
I wanna be filthy rich so I can shop.

(Chorus)


Details | ABC | |

1-800-SO-FINE

Get all your fashion tips here 
My fashion is in a higher gear 
Your fashion nightmares are over if you keep this in mind 
Just call the Queen of fashion at 1-800-SO-FINE 
The phone is already ringing off the hook 
To be honest , I will listen, but I would rather take a look 
Let me answer the first call of the show 
Why it's Bev Sanders from Ohio 
Yes, Queen I have a question concerning pink shoes 
Pink goes with any color, so you have nothing to lose 
Did that help your stress 
Yes, your advice was priceless 
Next caller, what's your dilemma? 
That is a first, I never have spoken to a female named Emma 
Yes Queen, where are the sales this week 
I can't help you there, because I want to keep looking chic 
Well I have to go, my stores are waiting 
Tomorrow I will tell which stores I shopped at and which one got the highest 
rating 
So tune in tomorrow with the Queen where fashion is my passion with the best 
personality 
Women don't dress better than me 
That's why you call, so I can keep you in line 
So put my number on your speed dial, 1-800-SO-FINE


Details | Ballad | |

Red Necks

The deer is a warm and fresh road kill
Will go good with the moonshine from your still
That red neck life style you will always have
Red Necks don't have to have a reason to be mad
You feel that on taxes you always get screwed
Hunting animals doesn't take a mood
Not accepting others for who they are
Gas guzzling huntin' trucks, there are no cars
Your baby never given a passy
Just a hunk of tobbacky
You spit your tobbacky juice in a mason jar
Fertilize the grass, so you empty it in the yard
A bathroom is where you make it
In the bed of your truck, you and your old lady got caught naked
You brag to the Reds at work about your latest run in with the cops
A few beers later, it's time to raid the Goodwill box
As a bona fide Red Neck it is your life's mission
To pass these quality traits to your son, it's a tradition
Red Necks in the south are a dime a dozen
Most marry their next of kin, usually their cousins
Support your local Red Neck, the bumper sticker reads
It fine print it's local chapter 233
In the parking lot outside your favorite bar
Friday night puking, too much PBR
Saturday morning fatback and beans
Coats the stomach, now you can drink
I cannot criticize Red Necks for living this way
What is normal in society these days


Details | ABC | |

My Wig (

We leave on vacation to see the Grand Canyon 
I ask my son when is the last time ha changed his socks, his feet smell like 
salmon 
My wife laughs and says that isn't his feet, it's his breath 
I tell her no more equate toothpaste, we're switching to Crest 
My wife says in a panicky voice, I forgot my social life line 
I tell her to calm down, everything will be fine 
She says, turn around and head toward home with the speed of a Russian Mig 
We can't take this trip, I can't be without my wig 
One hour and two tickets later we finally arrive back home 
Now she has her wig in hand and her voice has a nice, calm tone 
She says what are we waiting for, let's be on our way 
It's only 9:30am, it's already been a long, long day 
Now we are back to the area where we had to turn around 
I remember that singles club called Lost and Found 
As evening settles in, we stop by an eatery called The Autumn Twig 
She says please bear with me as I put on my wig 
My son and I sit in the car quietly, as we are close to death from a lack of food 
My wife tells us let's enjoy our vacation, you two need to adjust your attitudes 
We sit in the car and watch as people come out of this greasy spoon diner 
I keep reading their slogan, If you're lookin' for rib stickin' food ain't none finer 
I keep having these visions of me at the table, eating so much, my wife and son 
call me a pig 
Finally she is done fixing her wig 
I watch in horror as the Diner's lights go off 
My dream is gone, no pig, no trough 
She says in disgust, that's just great, where can we get a bite to eat now 
I tell her about a barbecue joint five up the road called Four Sides of a Cow 
She says okay, but I could not belive what she just did 
She smiles and says I told you everything will be okay, as she removes her wig 
We arrive outside the place rated as some of the best barbecue around 
She throws her wig on the dash and laughs like a circus clown 
She says my hunger has taken over, I believe she's flipped her lid 
She says let's go on inside, these people don't know me, they have never seen 
me without my wig


Details | Ballad | |

Ruby In The Sky With The Sandman

What would you do,
If I snored out of tune,
Would you dump a pail of water on me?

Lend me your pillow
And I'll snore you out a croon,
I will try to keep my snoring to me....

Ruby; I don't have a sandman,
but I do have two concrete users,
Rocco, and Vinny (Asphalt Vinny, they call him)
and I hear they're lookin' for me!



Details | Ballad | |

The Knight That Drove the Old Pixie Down

Virgin Brain is my name,
Served on the Disneyworld choo-choo
'Til my supervisor came,
and tore up my time card again...

In the summer of '95...
I joined the Templar Knights
Kind'a dig that kind of  jive....
By August the tenth,
My assignment to me had fell,
And it was one that would  lead me straight to hell...

The Knight I Drove the Old Pixie Down,
and tom bell was ringin'
The Knight I drove the Old Pixie Down,
and the children were singing,
The Knight Who Drove the Old Pixie Down!
They went; da, da, da, how friggin' dumb
da,da, da, your brain is numb
da, duh?, da, duh?, da, da, da!
da,  da, da, da, da, da, da....

Back in my tenement in Brooklyn,
When one day  a young cop did call me,
Virgin , come quick, you're wanted for robbery!!
Now I don't mind servin' time
But the food is no good,
Just be sure, the crime is mine...
Ya take the sentence given,
and ya gotta' serve your time..
But they never should
have taken...
My denim vest!

Like my mother before me,
I will work the ol' rockpile...
Like the guards above me,
I will seldom smile..
I was just dumb, stupid and niave
But the cops got me, so
they could save....
The little pixie I was stalking
Prepared to take her down,
And they got me just before
I was about to have found...
The nasty little pixie,
So evil and so sly,

No wonder someone had paid me,
To see that pixie die...

The Knight Who Drove Old Pixie Down,
The Knight Who Drove Old Pixie Down
And the stoolies were singin'
They went....Ya, ya, ya, he's guilty
Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya...

I swear by the ball and chain
On my feet
You can't release a con too soon....
When he's up for parole,
He'd have a better chance,
on the moon.....

Repeat chorus and fade...


Details | Free verse | |

People

Some people are wealthy
Some people are healthy

Some people are sick
Some people are fit

Some people are nice 
Some people are wise

Some people are efficient
Some people are intelligent

Some people are loyal
Some people are social

Some people are busy
Some people are lazy

Some people are worthy 
Some people are sturdy

Some people are seekers
Some people are speakers

Some people are frantic
Some people are romantic

Some people are stylish
Some people are childish

Some people are pious
Some people are studious

Some people are capable 
Some people are lovable

Some people are moody 
Some people are steady

Some people are cheerful
Some people are careful

Although people are of different types
They all have equal rights.



Details | Ballade | |

Picking And A Grinning { Bluegrass}

                                            When we all get to Heaven
                                                 You may see me walkin'
                                              Here there everywhere
                                  For I'm just a blue ridge mountain boy
                             thumbing for a ride down a lonely banjo road
                        With old Joe Clark livin just' two doors down from me
                                         Leaning on the everlasting arms
                                          Of his sweet Tennessee Rose gal
                                                If teardrops were pennies
                                         I could buy two more bottles of wine
                                                 So  please Mr. Sandman
                                              I'm crying my heart out over you
                                                     For this is all I can do
                                          As I pick these bluegrass banjo blues
                                         From my Tennessee Mountain home roads
                                                           That I once knew
                                      
                                           


Just A Bluegrass song
working on  LOL


Details | Lyric | |

L-O-V-E

L-O-V-E
   by Amy Swanson (c) May, 1998

(dedicated to every woman who's ever had one of these!)


Hey now Mr. Satin Sheets, you think you're so fine...
   wouldn't give you the time of day, here's the reason why:

You're a womanizer, pulverizer, think you're so sly,
   but let me tell you something honey - your heart is like ice.

You try so hard to hide, but it's easy to see,
   there's one little word you need to learn... it's L-O-V-E.


Now I don't care how sweet you talk, but honey it's your walk
   that would make me come around, and give you my heart,

but lately, what I'm seein' just ain't lookin' too good...
   it's evident to me, that your soul is like wood.

You think you've got my number, but you still need the dime;
   gotta know for certain boy, you'll never be mine.

You try so hard to hide, but it's easy to see,
   there's one little word you need to learn... it's L-O-V-E.


Now, I'll admit, you had me in circles for a little while, 
      and all it took, was just one look, and a sweet... smile.
          But, baby, I've been down this road before;
               I took the scenic route... but I'm not taking it anymore!

So baby...

     take your velvet talk and groovy lines too....
            I ain't playin' anymore, cause it ain't cool.

Said you'd give me the world, all I got was a lie - 
    You gotta know, there's just some things that money don't buy.

I was looking for love, but instead I found you
    It's my opinion honey, you don't have a clue.

You try so hard to hide, but it's easy to see,
    there's one little word you need to learn... it's L-O-V-E.

Yeah, you'll be cryin' baby, that's easy to see
    til you learn about that little word, L-O-V-E.

go on back to school, learn a few things
                                   don't come back to me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mama was an alien

my mama was an alien,
my daddy was an engineer,
and i was spawned
from the borg one morn
with keyboards in my ears,
in my eeeeearrs.

they call me the microsoft hacker,
once upon a pair of wires,
and i'm gooonne
[crack my numbers]
i wonder how your PC's feeln'
[ba ba ba baaaa]
scoot down the wires,
[crack my numbers]
i wonder how your PC's feeln'
[ba ba ba baa baa]


Details | Burlesque | |

Time For Tom's Christmas Carols pt.#1

"I Came Upon A Midnight Beer..."

I came upon a midnight beer
in my sleepwalkin' thirsty search...
In my glorious P.J.'s old...
My backside flap was ripped open...
But I did not feel the cold....

I popped the lid, and gulped it down,
And thought I heard angels sing....
"Let's go find another, my friend....
Cause this is the real deal thing!"


Details | Free verse | |

Singing in the shower

I get up early in the morning
To take a bath, and as usual
I will train my voice, singing.

So, I turn on the tap 
And get into the shower;
The water is not hot, nor cold.

I mixed it in perfection; and 
It started slowly beating upon naked body,
Smoothly blending with my morning voice.

I sing a song, my own composition--- 
“All I Wanted To See”,
As I apply soap all over me.

After couples of minutes
Of self cleansing,
And I’m now into the final act.

I gather my strength, for the finale; bold
But as I took turn, my butt hit the knob to the right.
I ended the song, with a shivering; whaah….it’s too cold!

My breath’s gasping, and gasping;
But, wife did not even mind a thing,
For she thought it’s my normal sing.


Details | Lyric | |

ay mamacita

ay mamacita
ay ay ay mamacita
ay mamacita
ay ay ay mamacita

ay mamacita
wats yo name
the way you walk
yo butt keep switchin lanes
im lovin yo smile
girl you actin fowl
the way you drop it low
down to the ground

i like your features
and the way you dance
i wanna know ya 
i wanna be ya man
we can take it slow
i can be ya friend
the pleasure is mine
just dont recline (hey)

ay mamacita
ay ay ay mamacita
ay mamacita
ay ay ay mamacita

i like the way you roll
burberry clothes
you look kinda young
sixteen years old
it dont matter
i wanna get together
heres my digits
you can call m later

after the club
you can come on over
we can sit and talk
all on my sofa
you gonna open the door
so i can greet ya
in the dark hole
where i can feed ya

ima slither on in
then take it out
ima push it back in
juice oozing out (oh)

ay mamacita
ay ay ay mamacita
ay mamacita
ay ay ay mamacita
)))ayyyyy(((


Details | Rhyme | |

Hee Haw


                                             Hee Haw

                                             Hee Haw

                                    Come join Buck and Roy 
                                for some picking and grinning 
                                             for us all

                                             Hee Haw

                                             Hee Haw

                                    Now look at Junior and Lula
                                        Giving a big salute
                                   from the corn fields so tall

                                            Hee Haw
                                              
                                            Hee Haw

                       There goes Granpa Jone and String Bean
                                 Slapping their chest and knees
                             To a banjo and a harmonica's call

                                            Hee Haw

                                            Hee Haw

                                 Let's listen to Jim and John
                                    Sernading to the gals
                               of Kornfield's lumber shaw

                                           Hee Haw

                                           Hee Haw

                         Now don't forget about Minnie Pearl
                            and her straw hat with tag
                    swinging in the breeze from a yodel caw

                                          Hee Haw

                                          Hee Haw

                     Well folks it's time to wrap up this salute 
                          for all those who gave it their all
                        from the wacked out show known as 

                                            Hee Haw

                                            Hee Haw






Tribute To 
The Cast And Crew Of
Hee Haw



Thanks For The Laughs




RIP 
Buck Owens


Details | Lyric | |

Fun of Rush

Why rush me 
Rushily
To rush up 
Your rushy job
When rushing 
Rushily
To rush up
The rushy job
I was rushing.
To rush
So as to beat the rush?


Details | I do not know? | |

A

Amazing armor apparels
An amazing apparatus
Appearing and ascending
Above all aimless attics
All are attics
After assigning apparent actions
Amongst atmospheric allies…also
Assembles and annexes an anecdote
Animals also assemble and apprehend
Any available areas
Alert and aware about alternatives,
Apportionment among animals are
Actually awesome.


Details | Lyric | |

i only wanna

i only wanna go to popeyes
i like to eat the biscuit and fries
and the chicken so spi-ccccy, or mild,
so spi-ccccy, or mild


Details | ABC | |

Intelligent Design

You claim to be on top of everything, if someone has done it, you have done it 
better 
When it was cold, you said you knitted the entire workforce sweaters 
You sweep most people under the rug 
You are member of the Menza's exclusive club 
You tell Miss Betty why she was left behind 
Only the best were selected, part of the intelligent design 
You tell me I am dumb as a man can come 
But according to you I am not the only one 
You always have to make people feel insecure 
Then you wonder why when you approach they all steer clear 
I am wondering all the bridges you burn, is it worth the cost 
You live by the saying a rolling stone gathers no moss 
You try to be perfect as Miss 5-2-9 
You and your family are the foundation of intelligent design 
You always feel the need to shine 
You tell everyone you are the top of the line 
You are the main attraction at the show 
You can always tell everyone what they don't know 
If I conquered a hill, there are ten mountains you have climbed 
You will always claim it's intelligent design


Details | Rhyme | |

The Stove

I look to the good for you
I cook the food for you
I’m made of brass
I run on gas
For your aims
I have the flames
For making the tea
You rely on me
Breakfast gets ready for you
I’m so steady for you
I make the lunch for you
I also make the brunch for you 
You always have a nice dinner
Well prepared by my hot burner 


Details | Free verse | |

A Song for Javon

Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep
Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep
Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep
Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep

Done a freep, done a freep, done a freep, done a freep
Done a freep ninl baby, preez done a freep.

(Repeat All)

(Translation)

Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep
Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep
Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep
Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep

Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep
Go to sleep little baby, please go to sleep


Details | Ballad | |

At Bubba's We Spent the Night

We take Bubba home to drop him off 
His father and mother come out, they begin to hack and cough 
His father extends his hand out to shake mine 
My wife says don't be rude, go ahead and shake it, I do so, his hand is covered 
with mucuossy slime 
After shaking his hand, I begin to gag 
The wife with no bra, smiles and hands me a Save A Lot shopping bag 
She takes a swig from her 32 oz brew 
Then offers it to my wife Sue 
I say come on, it is your turn to show manners now 
As she takes a swallow, I watch her face, the expression looked like she was 
trying to give birth to a cow 
Bubba asks his father if we can all stay the night 
The father says fittin' us all in one bedroom will be very tight 
I tell him we will sleep in the kitchen near the back door 
He says pay no mind to critters on the floor 
I ask where is the toilet, I have to go 
He says out back, you're in luck, I just dug a fresh new hole 
I think to myself, this is not the way life should be 
A night at Bubba's I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy 
At 3 am, they are in the kitchen stepping over us getting snacks 
We are offered each a bowl of that famous soup called fatback 
Bubba yells I want my box of cupcakes 
His mom hands a pack of Reelfoot pork hot dogs and says for goodness sakes 
He devours them as if he was in a hot dog eating contest 
Bubba says, after I eat my cupcakes, that will tie me over so I can rest 
A little after 4, Bubba gets his fill 
After breakfast, we were told we can leave on our own free will 
After trying some rocky mountain oysters, it is time we leave 
The dad says we would love to come and stay with y'all on New Year's Eve 
I tell him until 2040 we have plans 
He says that's fine that will give them enough time to collect some aluminum 
cans 
We move to another state with no forwarding address 
Never again putting ourselves in that kind of mess


Details | Ballad | |

Bootycyze Me

You've got it going on, you're packin' the heat 
in your trunk is a sweet, sweet treat 
As you walk on by, the boys break their necks 
With your shake, rattle and roll, you've passed my test 
Is your mother like you, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree 
Give me few moments of your time Bootycyze Me 
Let's take a stroll in the park sometime 
You walk ahead, I'll walk behind 
Tell me profile, give me your 4-1-1 
Let's get together, you have the equipment for fun 
You have a enough backside, you can share with me 
Up close or at a distance, I like what I see 
Give me a few moments of your time, Bootycyze Me 
You are smokin', so red hot 
All the girls ask what she got that I ain't got 
A word to the old, a word to the wise 
You will know it when you've been Bootycyzed 
Cassanova, Prince Charming and Don Juan, I am all three 
Give me a few moments of your time, Bootycyze Me 


Details | Lyric | |

get wild

get wild
get down
all the ladies drop it down to the ground
get wild 
get loose
all the ladies shake yo kaboos

now step to the flo
and do the tootsie roll
drop it low
and bend ya back on the pole

now turn off the lights
naw turn them back on
i see a fine dizzle
with a tight dress on
close the door and report to th floor
close your eyes, ima dance between
ya thighs
makin it hot,doin what ya heart desire
makin it hot,makin it hot like fire

lets mingle
are you single
if you are
lets make a hit jingle

get wild
get down
all the ladies drop it down to the ground
get wild
get loose
all the ladies shake yo kaboos

when the beat kicks in
everybody scream
get wild, get loose
everybody scream


Details | ABC | |

Medusa's Brother

Girls look in your direction and see you comin' 
In the opposite direction, they start runnin' 
You claim you are in excellent shape 
Your face is a train wreck and you cinch in your gut with electrical tape 
You drive a Yugo, it's color is Slime Green 
You say you are just over run with bling bling 
How can you claim you have the perfect life 
You are married to an inflatable wife 
Women look at you and begin to cuss as they run for cover 
Somebody spray painted a name on the car, it reads Medusa's Brother 
You have no clue why everyone calls you M B 
You believe they are saying M D, you think it's short for Mac Daddy 
You wear your favorite tee shirt that reads World's Greatest Lover 
In the females eyes you will always be Medusa's Brother 
Well M B, for you there is some bad news 
You will always be singing the lonely man's blues 
You have asked M TV to pimp your ride 
They can fix your car but your face you can't hide 
You say well, I guess it's true, a man's best friend is his mother 
But did occur to you, your mom also calls you Medusa's Brother


Details | Lyric | |

its on

its on
and you know its on
we got it goin on
aint nobody goin home
its on
and you know its on
i got the club bumpin
everybody groovin

i doodle like a rooster
glide like a bird
when i walk
i make tunes ya neva herd

its on
and you know its on
we got it goin on
aint nobody goin home
its on
and you know its on
i got the club bumpin
everybody groovin

im on tha dam stage
tearin up tha mic
spittin hot ryhms
like Tina and Ike

i got money on my mind
its time to go
to the next hot spot
makin that doe
its a bird
its a plane
yea its me pha sho
flyin to the next club
to do a show

Oh no
i see this girl maxcine
she have a big booty
i never seen
from the left to right
i see the fellaz eyez gleem
she can recruit her own 
football team

I do tha lean
everybody scream
when the beat kicks in
everybody scream
from the left to the right
everybody lean
yeah,
everybody scream

its on
and you know its on
we got it goin on
aint nobody going home
its on
and you know its on
i got the club bumpin
everybody groovin

people overseas
singing my song
I even got it on my ringtone

its on
its on
its on, its on

its on
its on
its on, its on

its on
its on
its on, its on

yeah, you know we got it goin on


Details | Senryu | |

Days of Our Lives (Senryu)

On their wedding day
“The Days of Our Lives” was played
Congregation laughed


© Joseph, 9/20/07
© All Rights Reserved


I wrote this while attending a wedding.  This is serious! lol!  The traditional or 
classic Japanese senryu format has three lines:  the first has 
five syllables, second has seven syllables and the third five syllables.  The 
pattern is 5/7/5 for a total of seventeen syllables. The senryu is generally about 
an emotional expression.



Details | Ballad | |

My Sweatshop

We open at 5 and close at sunset 
I expect a lot of production, I provide water and towels for sweat 
A complimentary lunch that comes in a can 
There is a choice of ham or turkey made from SPAM 
They love the conditions, so they don't want to stop 
I have many benefits owning my own sweatshop 
I have people making jeans and shoes 
My business, by the Department of Labor has been approved 
One girl is pregnant, but not by me 
Her parents put the blame on Cathy Lee 
Now another 16 hour shift has ended 
Immigration came through, my business license has been suspended 
They say I am the cause of tax evasion 
Oh well, I have enough money, time for a vacation 
I ask Cathy lee to meet me at the New Haven Truck Stop 
I need expert advice on how to run a sweatshop 
She has given me the advice I need 
She said don't use cotton, save money by switching to tweed 
She also said lower their wages 
For defiant workers, provide empty cages 
It all comes down to making your business the cream of the crop 
I got advice from the expert on how to run my own sweatshop


Details | Light Poetry | |

Take Me Out

Take me out to the Brawl-game
Take me out where it's loud
Buy me some ammo and some crack,
I don't care, who we attack
Cause it's Roto-Rooter for the losers,
We'll flush them right down the john
Cause it's fire one!
Fire two!
Fire three!
And your out,
Of this old brawl game!


Details | Ballad | |

Old Tucker Brown

Old tucker brown wanted to
Go fishing,
He sat and planned his day
Of activity,
He got his fishing gear, with
His rubber boots in hand,
“Oh my gosh”
It is pouring cats and dogs,
Maybe a Cadillac,
One……
At the most, do not know the
Color…
For the clouds were so very
Black..
Well,
At least he thought it was,
You could see his anticipation
As he looked out the window
The excitement aroused as
A rainbow appeared..
He cried out…
With a big yell..
While the wind cease to
Sway….
Clouds dissipated over the little
Fishing pond..
Down the hill….
Well now, it stop  pouring cats
And dogs..
Therefore, he kept the Cadillac, which
Color I do not know..
“Oh My Lordy”
Indeed, it is a miracle for the big
Guy, seen fit to pour him out a
Coffee color Cadillac,
Four door Deville…
A platter of catfish and the
Trimmings 
Even a shrimp or two
My God, who can ask for
Anything more,
Except for me a pearl color
Escalade…
I wish…
But the story is about old
Tucker Brown...


Details | Lyric | |

Quicker Liquor Picker Upper

Oh, give me a shot of that whiskey
     My life makes me need it so much
So, give me a shot of that whiskey
     And quickly, because I’m in a rush

The liquor, when quicker, is thrilling
     The feeling I get is found ease
So, quickly I’ll drink without spilling
     Give me that shot right now, please

I have dollars a plenty to give you
     My money is quite good I’d say
I’ll tell you right now what to do
     Just leave me the bottle, I’ll pay

So…
Give me a shot of that whiskey
     You know I can handle it well
For when I get drunk I get frisky
     So, if I’m with you please don’t tell


Details | Ballad | |

Sittin' On the Doc of the Bay

Left my home in Jamaica,
headed for the Hampton Bay
I had no medical insurance,
Looked like none was gona come my way

So I'm just sittin' on the Doc. of the Bay
Wishin' health would flow my way
Just sittin' on the Doc of the Bay,
Wasting rhyme........

I came down with nasty shingles
My skin was try'in to crawl away,
I went to this Doc. in Hampton
He was more than odd, I must say

He wanted to bleed me with a leech
Then dye my hair with bleach
I thought this was mighty weird
To understand it would be a reach

I sensed I was in danger,
This turkey had a lesson to teach
So I threw him with Ju-Jitsu speed
and down he went
 His pride I did breach

Then I sat upon his sore old body
Waitin' for the cops to come,
If jail was my destination,
I would sure feel the bum
So reflectively I sat there,
And even started to whistle and hum

Just sittin' on the Doc of the Bay,
Wishin' this day would go away,
Just sittin" on the Doc of the Bay
Ready to serve time.............


Details | Ballad | |

Big Bad Mama

I'm the woman behind the man behind the wheel
Let's Giddy -Up-Go My phantom 309
Give me forty acres Eighteen wheels And a dozen roses
For this is a trucker's last ride Eastbound Westbound
Let's start us a Convoy I know there's a love story
in the making under the bright Kansas City lights
Roll on Big Mama This is your Teddy Bear from
the old home filler up and keep Cafe 
Just put the hammer down and 
let's see how fast them a trucks can a go
For Mama knows the highway And the girl
on the billboard too Rolling past on a trucking cafe
With my big wheels in the moonlight Rolling me
away from you For I'm a truck driving Mama
Looking for someone else I once knew


                           { Over and I'm Goneeee }    LOL





Tribute To
Our Truckers
Of The Roads


Also a song 
again working on  lol


Details | ABC | |

Inside Jane

She's the finest one I have ever seen 
She requires a bath, but can't handle the Afro Sheen 
She is high maintenance, which I don't mind 
She receives complements from time to time 
There is something special about her, I just can't explain 
It always excites me when I'm inside Jane 
She is long and sexy, a real lady to me 
And everyone that meets her does agree 
No other can compare 
With all my friends she is shared 
She was expensive, I paid an outrageous price 
She's my pie, but I don't mind you having a slice 
I own her, she is my property 
She has demonstrated unswerving loyalty 
I think I will change her name to Candy Cane 
I control the heat inside Jane 
She is getting up there in age, I may soon have to replace her 
The next lady I buy, I will call her Jennifer 
After my use of her last time I discovered a stain 
Came from a dog that wasn't properly trained 
I apologized to her and asked her not to be mad 
She has been the most loyal one I have ever had 
She is more than eager to entertain 
What? Cut the dirty thoughts, she's my private plane


Details | Couplet | |

I Don't Have to Get Over You

What’s that you’re saying?
You say that I should get over you?

Well, honey, I don’t have to get over you!
We’ve broken up and I am a mess
You can’t handle that I guess
You say that since we are through
I should just get over you!

~Chorus~
I don’t have to get over you!
I’m kinda enjoying being blue
You say I should find somebody new
I don’t have to get over you!

I’m getting into crying myself to sleep
It cleanses the soul when you weep
My friends give me all this special attention
Whenever your name they happen to mention
Walking the floor is good for my heart
I have lost weight since we’ve been apart
Saving money on groceries, too
No, I don’t have to get over you!

~Chorus~

My mama calls me nearly every night
She is worried about me alright
She can’t stand seeing her baby this blue
I am her favorite, now that we’re through
What? What did you just say?
You’ve decided to come home to stay
Well baby, I hate to do this to you
But you better get over me, too


I don’t have to get over you!
I’ve kinda enjoyed being blue
I went out and found somebody new
Now, I don’t have to get over you!



Details | Light Poetry | |

Crumb Cake

I've finally figured it out!
I really have!!
Why they call it crumb cake...
I should have known....
I was blind,
But now I see,
My wife Grace,
Told it to me!
Yes, It's amazing Grace...
Why it's called that...
It's because it tastes crummy.......


Details | Lyric | |

all about me

everywhere i go
its like im walking runways
all eyes be on me
like christ on sundays
i aint gotta pray no moe
god lives next doe
i sit so high
i thought i letcha knoe
i am "what" ur not
thats a sure shot
theres no takin myspace
this is no parking lot
ima tell ya right nie
theres no testin me
if  ya all in my face
ima press delete
i careless about ya crew
and you too
if dem bit-ches wanna play
i'll delete dem too
yeah i know you mad
that im so hot
that im negative number 1
on tha bill board spot
i aint gotta blaze
i dont have to haze
but ur heat is temporary like microwaves
u in this race
u jogged while i ran
and yes sirrrr, i got  fans in the klan
i heard a rapper say somethin
that was real real cleaver
that he was the best rapper alive
but bit-ch im tha best ever


Details | I do not know? | |

swallow your pride

you life,
is so far ahead
but your strife
is now dead

you want,
now to step aside
but it haunts
to swallow your pride

let it be free
let it all see
that the truth is into the sea

you just reprise
that it may be unwise
this is somthing you dont want to be

so swallow your pride
just swallow your pride
and dont let it hurt inside

let your pain go 
let it go slow 
and then you just wont know

now give it a try.......Swallow your pride!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Willy-Fred, Willy-Fred

Willy, don't be silly...
As for Fred, check your head,
Once again, you got things
all wrong,
I wasn't writting poetry,
nor out to steal a song...
I do get the feeling,
Your disdain for me is strong,

That's okay,
I gotta say,
No loss in disbelief,
But don't question me,
Cause you don't know
If I were a lyrical thief,
What if I did write those
songs,
And held the copyright too,
And let others record them,
You think other, I might do?

So check out the copyright credits,
And wake me when you're through,
Cause as for your snide comments,
I've heard enough from you.


Details | Lyric | |

kiss my wowsers

chauvinistic piglet
you and your niglets
can try it for free, 
my butt cheeks,
you can kiss it
im not finish
no thats not it
ima let them know
you aint about shhh
44 years of age
and still dont have shhh
get yo life together
before i call you mr it
lick between my cracks
and swollow my shhh 


Details | Lyric | |

relax your mind

relax your mind
cause its about that time
tonite we bump and grind
we cant waste no time

boy im feelin you
im hungry for you
if you do it right
a sista, might cook for you

plz dont say a word
im takin over (yeah) "word"
ima take it slow
up and down
i grind real slow

you climbing up the stairs
until ive reached my peak
you plugged real deep
then you erupted me

creme filin, oozin
my mind im, losin
i like the way you take control
this feelin-taken over me

relax your mind
cause its about that time
tonite we bump and grind
we can do it all night

relax your mind
cause its about that time
tonite we bump and grind
we cant waste no time


Details | Lyric | |

Glory

 

Sometime, Glory will come to me and say,

«I am sure you have waited for me a long time!

Meet me now, as though I am an important visitor.»

Glory will sprawl and lounge in my armchair

and will laugh self-satisfiedly.

Well, if that will happen,

I shall answer her quite politely:

«Yes, I waited for you, of course.

I want to be familiar with you,

maybe even a favorite.

But why are you so ill-bred and tactless?

You have sprawled in my armchair as if you own it,

and you mock me!

Glory will close thin lips,

will frown, and her eyebrows will close together.

She will take back all gifts from me!

Madam Glory, I did not want to be rough with you,

but you are not free-of-charge!

You required too big a fee

of bitter pain and nerves in pressure.

Sometime, Glory will come to me and say...


Details | ABC | |

Get Your 4-1-1 From 5-2-9

I am the authority on any question you may ask 
But be prepared, because I know I've already completed that task 
You ask me which pet is better, a dog or a cat 
Read my latest article about the care of all animals, called Been There, Done 
That 
Don't try to outcook me, I graduated at the top of my class in Culinary School 
Put your money on the table, I know I can beat you at pool 
When I drive, I demand complete silence, I don't want any distractions 
Computer programs, accounting, I've used every kind of database, done every 
kind of financial transaction 
Don't argue with me, because I will win 
Everyone tells me they wish I had a twin 
You want to know about raising children, ask me about mine 
I strongly reccomend you get your 4-1-1 from 5-2-9 
You women need to break your men down 
There is no king of the castle in my house, I wear the crown 
I may be a little proud of what all I've done 
I know it is far more than anyone 
If you want to know about cars and their care 
I can tell you about dealerships I have fixed when and where 
You cannot tell me anything that hasn't already happened to me 
I keep a crystal ball to foresee 
During an African Safari, my sister went into labor, I delivered my niece 
I rode with Gypsies on the islands of Greece 
I had to tell Eugene, supposedly an experienced detailer, how to make the tires 
shine 
The secret is out, sorry Eugene, now they know you got your 4-1-1 from 5-2-9 
I won an argument with an astronomer about the solar belt 
I was given extra chips at a casino because I pointed out to the manager how the 
cards were dealt 
I've given advice to a couple about horses and their unpredictable ways 
I told a fishing boat captain, how and when to enter Biscayne Bay 
Through it all, I find people and force them to listen to me 
Where is Gabrielle, oh, she's eating lunch and my nose is snotty 
People love me for all the great knowledge I possess 
But I have one rival, I must confess 
She is at 1-800-SO-Fine 
She cannot top me for you 4-1-1 from 5-2-9


Details | ABC | |

My Cerification

I've worked hard to have my franchise 
I am surrounded by bleach blondes with green eyes 
I was no homecoming king, I received no coronation 
Please take a stab at my certification 
I don't study the existence of life 
I am a working man, no time for a wife 
My certification is not a Biologist 
No study of the mind, I am not a Psychologist 
I've gone to the school of hard knocks 
My business covers many city blocks 
Every night is a celebration 
I have yet to tell you my certification 
I don't like Dinosaurs, I am not a Paeleontologist 
I can't put anyone in a trance, I am no Hypnotist 
My education is from up and down the streets 
I am not on doughnut patrol, I don't walk a beat 
I am definitely not into Claymation 
Are you still in suspense about my certification? 
I am no womanizer looking for a tryst 
You can scratch an actor off your list 
I am no Polar Bear coming out of hibernation 
Soon I will reveal my certification 
I am not into sports, I am no Analyst 
My work is tax free, I don't have to deal with the I.R.S 
I have no fruit baskets on a sofa, I am not a Psychiatrist 
I will now tell you, I am a Pimpologist 
Now that you know, keep in mind how much dough I make 
No cheap wine, no pot pies, just champagne, shrimp and steak 
Constant growth, all women are welcome to become part of an industry leader 
Most of my women come from men who are wife beaters 
I hook my women up with my patented 201k plan 
I am the CEO, I am the man 
5-2-9 can give you my specifications 
5-2-9 helped me achieve my certification


Details | Ballad | |

Rollin' In My Pacer

My girl dumped me, she couldn't hack it 
She said it was her or my fake leather jacket 
We were together for 30 days 
This jacket has cozied up to six Shaneyneys 
Judy is my next target, so now I will have to chase her 
I am the Mac Daddy rollin' in my Pacer 
Camielle comes along and tempts my fate 
Judy is now off the slate 
Women need to use more self control 
I am too much, I am hard to hold 
Tomorrow there will be another one in line 
I will not mess with her if she looks like the bride of Frankenstein 
My dad is stressed, he's really working his pacemaker 
I take him to the hospital, he's riding shotgun in my Pacer 
The hospital will keep him over night 
I buy some Mad dog 20/20, it's time to get tight 
I am called the next day to pick him up 
I tell him no ride, if you don't have a lid for that cup 
I get pulled over for a sobriety test 
The cop tells me I don't look my best 
He makes me walk the long straight line 
Then count forwards and backwards between 1 and 9 
He tells me my car is so ugly, he's got to shoot me with his tazer 
After the jolt I am allowed to leave steady rollin' in my Pacer


Details | Lyric | |

unsolved

it's still a mystery
unsolved-thats me
triplethreat-thats me
no one cant compete
knockin down doors
you bowin down to my feet
im not gon stop
and i dare u hattas knock me
cause when i fall
you'll be still be lookin up to me


Details | Ballad | |

Madeline

She came to me by air
Milky white skin, long blonde hair
She promises me I will never be lonely again
I have her to love, I have a best friend
We shall never argue over petty things
With her there, the house will always be clean
Then one day Dana shows up at my front steps
Petite young lady, green eyes and a brunette
I realize by the end of the day
Madeline would just be in the way
That evening, I show Madeline to the door
I tell her I don't love her anymore
The next morning I realize what I have done
When I chose Dana over Madeline, I chose the wrong one
I leave Dana at the house to go find Madeline
While searching for her, I tell myself, this can't be the end
After days of searching, I find her in a second hand store
I approach to convince her, she's the one I adore
The looks I get as I give her a hug and a kiss
As I tell of my favorite things and she is at the top of the list
So we leave together to go back home
A bottle of wine, steak and disconnect the phone
Today I have to send both lovelies back to prostatic friends and lovers 
incorporated
Dana will not return to me, to get a refund for her has made me frustrated
However, Madeline will be refurbished and returned to me like new
My Madeline, blonde hair and eyes of crystal blue


Details | Lyric | |

cant stop now

on dubs, on my way, to the club
cadillackin all the fellaz showin lov
ice tea in the lac
yeah im drinking that
all my girls in the back
yeah they looking phat

walk up in the club
lookin real fly
smoke scene
i walk through
i caught ya eye

ice cream
yeah they know i have nice things
bam boom
bada bing
i make ya eyes gleem


no we wont stop
no we wont stop
"no"
we can not stop
we can not
"hell no"
repeat 5x:

we up in the club
where i do my damn thang
playing the cuts
dj playin the bang
fellas on the side
i make ya get a high
got a taste of my love
without stickin inside

instrumental break:

no we wont stop
no we wont stop
"no"
we can not stop
we can not
"hell no"
repeat2x:

on the flo
you like the way i twork that
when in fact
you not gon get to hit that

its like a dice
cuz you shakin all in yo pants
dont raise yo hands
cuz im not gon letcha stick it in

got it lock in the club
where its gettin hot
we at the best of the best
we at the hot spot


Details | ABC | |

Ho of the Year

I worked hard to achieve my goal 
I moved to the south to avoid the snow 
I've been keeping track on my graph 
I look at my competition and start to laugh 
My closest competition lives five miles from here 
Now it's my turn to be ho of the year 
My pimp is always bragging to the pimps union 
He says he's never seen such a young ho whose career is already bloomin' 
Tomorrow is my day off, but I want the overtime 
Heck, as a ho I still haven't reached my prime 
I will now have ten vacation days to use when I want 
To get where I am, you have to flirt and flaunt 
The final results are still unclear 
I'm dying to know if I am the ho of the year 
My pimp tells me there is a new ho in town 
She wears one of those stupid little hooker purses, I let her know it's too late for 
her this time around 
My pimp says he will put her under my care 
I tell him she's my competition, and give him a glare 
He smacks me with an open hand across the face 
He tells me, that was to put you in your place 
He says don't ever forget I am in charge, I want that clear 
A crowd comes out, he hugs me and says congratulations you were chosen as 
ho of the year 
I am awarded a trophy, flowers and a golden crown 
I am given the night off a limo to take me to the luxury hotel downtown 
They have reserved me the presidential suite 
It will feel good to be off my feet 
I tell the driver I want to stop for some beer 
I will get drunk and celebrate a lifetime achievement as ho of the year