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Funny Life Poems | Funny Poems About Life

These Funny Life poems are examples of Funny poems about Life. These are the best examples of Funny Life poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Cowboy | |

Hard Times

When hard times come they sit a spell, Like kin folk come to stay A-packin' troubles, pets an' kids That always get ‘n your way. It's drought an' flood, an' flood an' drought, There ain't much in-between. You work like hell to make ’em good, But still they’re sorta lean. The ranch went under late last year, The drought got mighty tough. The boss held-out a long, long time, But finally said, "enough!" So here I am dispatchin’ cops An’ watchin’ felons sleep, In Junction, at the county jail, A job I’ll prob’ly keep. The wife, she works at Leisure Lodge, Where older people stay, A-makin’ beds an’ moppin’ floors To earn some ‘extra’ pay. Though “extra pay‘s” the term I used, It goes to payin’ rent, An’ after all the bills are paid, We wonder where it went. We hocked my saddle, guns an' chaps, An' then our weddin' rings; Then when we couldn't pay the loan, They sold the 'dad-blamed' things. We felt real bad a day or two But then we let it go, Cause it got Christmas for the kids When money got real slow. When hard times come they sit a spell, Don't matter who you are; They'll cost ya things you've set aside, An' clean your cookie jar. You'll loose some sleep an' worry some, Won't pay to moan an' groan; But hang on to your happiness, They'll finally leave ya 'lone.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

She read me Dr Seuss

6:35 A.M.

Sunrise against my neck
that no cheap tan booth could ever match.

I ring the doorbell in anticipation of joy’s injection.

I needed it.

Because I left my cell phone in the car,
as I didn’t want to hear any chimed email
or text annoyances.

And the car just got cleaned,
only for the birds to have their way
on its waxy shine.

Bastards!

Time to grab the flamethrower from my trunk!

But, before I could scream in Braveheart declaration,
there she was.

Her 6 yr old smile,
made of 1/4 inch gaps between innocence enamel,
captured me like no other could.

“Tio”, she preached in angelica sonata.

As she held me,
held me,
with puppy love warmth.

Even the rainbows fell to its knees.

She took off my jacket with ferret-like perkiness and
asked me to sit on the floor with her.

But, not before offering to toast me some Eggo waffles
with a big glass of Ovaltine…
…in her Little Mermaid glass,
proudly made in North Korea.

It even had the dictator’s initials and a bucktooth smiley face stamp, signed in glitter
that said:
“Kid-safe”.

Thank God I just took my online course in Child Safety.
I was ready!

As I sip on Little Mermaid’s curves,
shaped in plastic, swirly straw weirdness,
a sound blasts off from a Barbie radio.

My 2 yr old angel galloped into this heart of mine,
with Tinnitus piercing scream & laughter,
tackling me in Incredible Hulk lunge.

“Hi Tio”, she whispered, before she hopped back upstairs, 
Ninja Turtle-style,
laughing maniacally with rapid head tilts, left to right to left.

Boys will fear her. 
And I couldn’t be more proud.

After two moments of silence, 
my 6 yr old angel places her Dr. Seuss book on my lap,
as she sits in front of me.

“I can r-r-read
with my eye-s
shut.”

She carefully completed the sentence,
as my eyes instantly fill with leaky pride
and an ingrained smile.

10 minutes later, she shut her book and asked me how she did.
“I am so proud of you my angel.”
“You have come so far.”

I had to hold back tears because I didn’t want to throw her off.
Yet I think she knew,
because she kept her head down and smiled with gentle starburst.

Mission accomplished.

And it was then where I heard her say,
“Those who matter don’t mind,
those who mind don’t matter.”

But she was quiet, looking at me with tilted head & smile.

For it was my inner child, 
speaking
clear.

© Drake J. Eszes


Details | Couplet | |

All About Carolyn

When my time is done and I am finally laid to rest
I don’t want to be recalled as one who lived life depressed

So as I wrote my will, I chose to leave an instruction
That laughing gas be inhaled by all those at the function

No mournful eulogies will a pastor have to invent
For my funeral will be held under a circus tent

When dozens of clowns emerge from the tiny Volkswagen
Reams of my silly limericks Bozo will be dragin’

And as they’re read aloud, family and friends who knew me best
Will say, “She had a sense of humor, this we can attest.”

Mimes will mimic me trying to write the world’s best novel
As my corpse hangs from the trapeze, surely they will marvel

Laughter will ensue as they shoot me from the cannon
Flying high in my demise across the great Grand Canyon

All the children will smile and there’ll be no tears allowed
So no one will ever remember me as a “dark cloud”

There are people who seem to take life way too seriously 
When I meet my Maker, don’t view this as a tragedy

Dad called me his “happy girl,” so let me go out that way
I want to leave them laughing as I reach my judgment day



Entry for Sidney Lee Ann's "All About You" contest


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Lucila

So I walked into my local supermarket
to buy my weekly shipment of Kit Kat bars,
Cinnamon Toast Crunch,
and Ovaltine powder mix.

As I shake off the snow on my fake Timberland boots,
my skin,
coated in frozen animation,
thaws into warmth’s teardrops from
the supermarket’s 75 degree vents.

This moist sense of happiness was quickly interrupted
when I heard Wilson Phillips, “Hold On”
over the PA system.

Thankfully, the cutlery isle was just to my left. 
So, now, I had plans!

But, before I could commit felony’s song,
I saw her.

A Portuguese goddess
with a strut that can ruin a man’s dignity.

She had Autobahn curves,
dark brown curls of hair & visuals,
and thick flesh meat that even Vegans would envy.

Her face lacked Maybelline coated misapprehension.
Thank God!
Cause I never did like clowns.

After staring longingly at her,
like a crack head with impulsive eyes upon a broken/unlabeled bag of baby powder,
she breezed past my stifled posture and clocked in to work.

She didn’t even get a chance to smell my $500 cologne called “Piece of Me”.

So with new-found urges to grab all my groceries,
like a burglar who really has to pee,
I rush to express checkout. 

There she is.

Her register beeps in coupon lady’s rhapsody,
while my register needs a cleanup on Isle 9.

Now it’s my turn.

With girlish inner-screams of boy-band intensity,
I say, “Hi”.

She scans my apples, while I scan her melons.
The melons that the customer ahead of me didn’t want…
…they were on sale.

Go fig.

As if she read my mind,
she asks,
“Are you feeling warm now?”

“All I want is to be the heat in your moment”,
which I almost said.

But, “Now I am”, is uttered.

As she smiled with seductive demure,
she handed me my receipt
with her phone number on back.

As I left the market,
I began to get cold again.

These winds of change
became gusts of numbness.

I locked myself out of my heart.

I turned around to go back inside.

Only to discover, 
she didn’t have the key.

© Drake J. Eszes


Details | I do not know? | |

80 Proof Nights

A foggy Cuervo morning
I crawl out of my bed
Stagger to the bathroom
With a pounding in my head

It’s just another Sunday
Things can’t get much worse
I think i’ll write a poem
Yes, another drunken verse

Tiny glass of 80 proof
What courage you gave me
To dance upon a table
While crooning karaoke

I truly thought that I could sing
I could hear the people cheer
Then I lost my footing
And fell right on my rear

Now falling off of tables
Isn't really all that dumb
Cause I got such a chuckle
Telling everyone to kiss my bum

I kissed a man I didn’t know
You think that’s absurd
Well his wife was rather angry
When I flipped her the big ol bird

When Jose takes control of me
I have no pride or shame
Doesnt really matter much
Cause no one knows my name

I drank until the wee hours
Things were going great
Until that final shot of gold
That sealed my eveings fate

I spent some time talking
On a ice cold porceline phone
If I survive this night
Tomorrow I will atone

Well today is tomorrow
So forgive me for my sin
Never again will I drink tequila
Instead I’m drinking gin


Details | Rhyme | |

The Pirates Life

    He stands upon the salty,slippery deck,
Yelling yaargh matey ,
with a halfhearted pirate drawl.
He's not to impressed with himself,
not an eyepatch or wooden leg,
not even a hooked claw.
The parrot on his shoulder,
is a wannabee,
a sparrow that fell from the Crowsnest, 
from high up above.
It has no quips ,or spikes,
or pirate quotes,
just nesting on his shoulder 
with birdly kind of love.
Aye captain the crew responds,
snapping to their chores.
Tend the wheel ,lash the mainsail,
take the soundings
 less we hit a reef.
The sea going life is not for every man,
walking the plank,storms and rickets.
Crabs in your knickers ,
really give you grief.
Aah but when the wind fills the sails to bursting,
yards of canvas strain to be free.
And the ropes play ,sea going music
of a tension melody.
A song that captures
every young buccaneers heart ,
and soul and fancy.
For the music of the wanderers life,
an endless expanse of blue,
bravehearts and fearless men find,
quite a bit too chancy.
Black Beard,Yellow Beard,
the famous Captain Blood,
were all fearless pirates of their day.
He truly knows that he can be,
a great one too.
If he could ever find that bleeping map,
and escape this landlocked bay.


Details | Limerick | |

Sweet and Salty -LIBRA TALE

      LIBRA  TALE

Sweet and Sour hectic sign
Love me, trust me, the stars align
   Balance of truth and dare
   Good and Evil, full of care 
Blind when it comes to blood line


 
:) PD


Details | Free verse | |

My butt crack

My butt crack 
Is quite a split 
It supports the rest of me 
when I sit 
you thought I was gonna say something else didn't you ?

My butt crack 
Is a marvel to behold 
It was cute when I was young 
but now offensive since I'm old 

My butt crack 
Is pretty darn straight 
can you imagine if it was crooked 
pretty weird sight I would rate 

My butt crack 
Is funny to me 
when I bend over in my jeans 
It peeks out 
for you to see 

My butt crack 
wanted me to write this today 
for no other reason 
then just to say......................

I gotta split 


LOL 

Eric (and sometimes not)


Details | Free verse | |

The Elephant in the Room

3 polished oak fans,
Swirling in robotic unison

High maintenance socialites,
Sipping on Merlot fallacies

Lemon yellow coated walls,
Flat,
Like their smiles

Comparisons of dangling Porsche & Bentley keys
A glorified day care center,
Pacifiers included

The muted virtuosos speak softly in hymn dialects.

Courtesy laughter in snob’s octave

Their heads twitching side to side,
Left to right to left

An equilibrium facing assault charges against self

They slow dance to cello dreams
And E minor dividends

Two-step monotone, sway
Against platinum lacquer foundations

…

But, it was then.

These same socialites,
Made of recycled candle wax
And rubberized, hedge-fund confidence,
Began to stare longingly at the party host’s 70 inch plasma TV

Proudly imported from China

“Attention uptight snobs of Mecca!
The city zoo has imploded!
The monkeys revolted!
The zebras were tired of being racially profiled!
Run for your LIV…!”
(SMASH!)

And before the reporter’s frightened inner child could finish’s his clause,
An elephant crashes into the decadent room
Filled with Crisp linen scents of Febreze & judgmental fear

It stares at the socialites,
Laughing heartedly as it playfully stomps away into constellation’s onyx night

As tears waterfall from the snobs’ sobbing eye sockets
As if they just listened to another Celine Dion song

The real newsflash

Metaphors played hooky today

©Drake J. Eszes


Details | Free verse | |

LOVE at FIRST SIGHT

Love was in the air when he laid eyes on her.
Childhood; elementary and even high school with her.
Walking towards her, he greeted her.
Anxiety spiraled as he hugged her.
Conversation grew deeper as he sat with her.
Wanting to get closer because he was falling for her.

Another woman called pausing the time he was having with her.
Knowing he had to answer; he stepped away and spoke to her.
She stated that something wasn't quite right with her.
She said that her stomach had been bothering her.
Now he's thinking back if he came inside her.
Thinking if she lied to him about her tubes being tied within her.

Does he blame himself for listening to her?
Knowing right from wrong and yet he can't blame her.
Does he blame the devil for allowing him to be intimate with her?
Is he not a human that makes mistakes just like her?
Begging God to make a way for him and her.
Asking God to forgive him for committing the sin with her.

God said, "relax my son, you were only dreaming of her."


Details | Limerick | |

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!


Details | Couplet | |

This laundry never ends

Oh laundry, how relentless you are in this house,
It’s as if I were a polygamist’s spouse.

By: Sabina Nicole


Details | Tetractys | |

My Very FIRST TIME

                                        I 
                                        jerked it
                                        out to place
                                        it back in and
                                        it seems as though I can't get any out.

                                        I
                                      jerked it
                                     out again
                                  to place it back
                       in, yet, no luck in getting any out.

                                        So,
                                      I tried
                                    ANOTHER
                               form of Pleasure,
                      taking off the lid and using plastic.

                                        I 
                                        simply
                                        just wanted
                                        to drink my milk-
                                        shake using a straw but a spoon will do.



Pace, G
04-20-2012


Details | Couplet | |

Ewmer Fudd and Buggs Bunny Paint the Town Wed

Got home awound twee (I was dwunk as a wouse)
Awose pwomptly at five wit' dwy cotton-mouth
I knew wather soon my day was gonna' bwow
When I stwuggled outta' bed and stubbed my wight toe
Fwopped back on the mattwess cwying and twitchin' 
Staggoid back up and wimped to the kitchen
Stumbled to the counter to bwew Folger's bwend
Spiwwed it down my Hanes and boint my widdle fwend
Hobbled to the bathwoom to wustle up some Tums
Twipped on my fwip-fwop and bwuised my weft bun

Should not have cawoused wit' owe Bugsey wast night
Now my head hoits and de wight is too bwight
If I had not dwunk gin for my mowale booster
I coulda' swept in trew 'dat wascally wooster

(Don't feel wike wunning dat siwwy wat-wace
Tink I might caw in sick at the Woony-Tune pwace)

***Inspired by quote #4 in Giorgio's contest 
Tim Wyerson wote dis (Tim Ryerson)







Details | Limerick | |

Princess Needs A New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.


Details | Burlesque | |

A Bad Day at the Eye Doctor's- a true story

"It was 6 or 7 years ago
Or so I'd like to think
I traveled to my eye doctor..
(I should'a seen a "shrink"!!)

My dad and I we awaited
In a filled up waiting room
Patients all a'seat
Magazines all askew
There wasn't much to say there
There wasn't much to do...

Slowly I did notice
Some odd glances made at me...
Some hand-covered conversations...
Some smirks I seemed to see

It made me feel self-conscious
They seemed fixed looking at me in my seat
When slowly I did realize...
That they were staring at my feet...

I looked down, and to my horror
And much to my surprise...
A sight I could not fathom...
I could not believe my eyes!!!

For one foot was well fitted
with tennis sneaker white...
The other a black dress shoe
It was a startling sight!!!

Now I found how hard it was
to hide one's mismatched feet
I wished to God to run out
And escape onto the street

I was red with great embarrassment
and shocked how stupid I could be!
Had I been that darn sleepy?
Or could I just not see?

Then it slowly dawned on me,
Well, darn it, here I sit....
Proves I need an eye-doctor...
and I don't give a sh__......."


Details | Monorhyme | |

Cleaning Solution

Sticky smears on the table top.
on the couch spilled soda pop
one chewed up shoe and one flip-flop
I’m doomed to clean this mess non-stop
            
Greasy dog bones gone astray
found buried in the rug today
the hamster made a getaway
where he’s gone it’s hard to say.

The shower drain is plugged, I swear
the tub has grout and needs repair
dirty laundry everywhere.
it really is a mess out there.

Under beds dust bunnies show
all closets are on overflow
the fridge is packed with things that grow
dishes clog  the sink, I know.

Spaghetti sauce dumped on the floor
12 eggs broke, need I say more
fingerprints on every door
this place,  a never-ending chore

Just when I think things can’t get worse
the leaking fish tank cracked and burst
40 gallons was dispersed
I think this house is cursed.

In every corner, ledge and groove
dirt and grim must be removed
there’s one solution I approve
pack your things, we’re going to move!



Liz Relly – 3/06/2012
“Cobwebs and Dust”  Contest (new start)


Details | Free verse | |

Its Raining...

                          Its Raining…

God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…

who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again

                               Amen


Details | Rhyme | |

Honorable Mention

On entering this contest I have to admit
The fame it will bring me when I push "submit"
Is all that I'm after -  my name in bright lights
The kind of attention I earned with my writes.

I used to get noticed for walking in late
To school, then to jobs, and even for dates
My family picked up on my one loud defect
And thought they could fix me - no disrespect.

They told me that dinner would be served at five
When seven was really the time to arrive
Two hours they gave me to help cure the curse
But of course I found out and the problem got worse.

Right now I'm supposed to be cleaning my room
Instead, I am writing, ignoring the broom
My shrink says that tardiness is a cry for attention
I'll clean my room later for an honorable mention.


Details | Narrative | |

Bubbly Cheerful And Happy

                            In a small town there lived a little lady
                                  The lady`s name was Lucinda
                     Lucinda was always bubbling, cheerful and happy
                           When she laughed here rolling laughter,
                              both her cheeks and bosom shaked
                          She was a beautiful woman with wide hips,
                              and a butt as big as a dinner table
                           Lucinda was old and walking was difficult
                                and life was not so easy for her
                              She had not so much in this world,
                               but she always brought a bicycle
                         Everyone in the small town would help her
                                        as best they could
                 Whatever you did for her, she thanked  with these words:
                             "You shall have my old bike when I die"
                Following the bubbling laughter, shaking cheeks and bosom
                           Everyone in the small town knew Lucinda,
                                 loved her and wanted to help her
                                     Same thanks every time:
                            "You shall have my old bike when I die"
                                        Now Lucinda is dead
                    Her bike the city has received as a gift from Lucinda
                   If you see a bike in the flower park in the small town
                  Is it to remind the beloved sweet, rolling round Lucinda 
                                 that was always cheerful and happy







  

                             * Just written for joy..... not for a contest

27.04.2012
A-L Andresen


Details | Bio | |

All about Dan

So you want to get to know me,ok well here goes It's already in my poetry,but I may have left something out who knows? For the last twenty years I've been wearing Nike shoes,hightops that are black They're alot easier to clean then white ones I must say,that is a definite fact My friends all seem to like me and I greet them all with a big smile I've met alot of them through a life of partying,but now thats been over for a while My favorite book is the bible,because whenever I read it I learn something new My favorite movie I couldn't really tell you,since I have seen oh quite a few My favorite song is from Tim Mcgraw,it's"Live Like You Were Dying" In a funny kind of way it refreshes my soul,and I usually end up crying Favorite singer I don't really have one,so I guess it would have to be myself Because I just love it when I sing all the words and don't need anyones help My hair is a dirty blond thats straight,short and very fine It doesn't have a single curl and I know it's all still mine My favorite shampoo is Pert it leaves my hair so silky smooth With the fine and thining hair that I have,it's the one I prefer to use My favorite food is pizza,but fresh baked bread is my favorite smell If I had a food I'd eat everyday that is the one that would put me through hell I have everything I need,with only a few things that I dislike The only thing I want or really need is the love of my loving wife
Dan Kearley:5-25-12 Contest:All About ____???


Details | Burlesque | |

The Eyeshadow Girl

The blend of colors enlightens her day when she decides to embrace them;
She loves various colors which bring alive a girl’s eyes;
Each color depicts the triumph of beauty from within that is eager to fly more than twice;
The charisma of colors vitalizes one’s surrounding being a priceless gem.

Surveying around, she picks her Jimmy Choo;
Picking up her Chanel bag she appreciates her labor of love;
Then she looks at her sister to Shoo;
She knows that materialism and spiritualism is hard work from blessing above.


Details | Senryu | |

Jokers Lament

eyes of deepest blue
lips sweet as maple syrup...
his dog loves him too


Details | Rhyme | |

Modern Life

Modern Life
We are open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week
Except Monday mornings and Sunday nights.
What are they on about, at this place that I seek
That is supposed open 24/7 days a week.

The pub is open we have an unlimited license,
Let’s have a drink before we go to bed!
I’m sorry we are closed the doors shut at eleven
That’s what the snooty landlord then said.

The helpline is here no matter when 
Give us a call and we can help you then.
Ring, ring, ring, ring, the phone rings on
A tape recording says, “Sorry everyone has gone.”

My car has broken down the man came to fix it
“It doesn’t work” he said sratching his head.
“There a computer on board and I will need to record
All the things that are broken down” he said.

But I need my car; I looked at him hard, 
And he gave me a wizened up frown.
He plugged himself in, then said with a grin.
The computer says it’s fine, the engine is strong.

But the car doesn’t work you toothless little jerk, 
The computer plugged in must be wrong.
“How can it be wrong it says the engine is strong?” he gave me a shifty look
“To be honest missus if it ain’t on the pute, perhaps the answers in a book."

He could find nothing wrong, the onboard computer gave a bong,
But it still said all was okay.
The tow-truck they called out with its ramp and its chains
Now they have taken my poor car away.

Modern life is so frustrating; we have everything at our fingertips
There is 24/7 that does not mean that, and fury does exit my lips.
If its 24/7 and help lines constantly, a car that is run by computer.
Why doesn’t anything work, I feel like the jerk, can somebody lend me a shooter.

I want to blast and to break all technology of late
It’s driving me to drink and distraction
The open all hours pubs are now closed, 
And my car is still out of action.

The bank is closed, the computers just died, 
The telephones gone on the blink
The TV HD, it is fuzzy like me;
I think I’m going to put my head in the sink.

The oven would be better, but its electric not gas
So I don’t think it would work as well
I want to end it all, not practice for the day,
The Grim-Reaper points at me, and sends me to hell.

Therefore, I’ll fill up the sink and put my head in the drink, 
Oh, blast, who is that at the door?
It’s the water board here, we are just making it clear,your water is off for a week.
Typical, I have no car and it is too far
To walk out and jump in the creek.



Details | Rhyme | |

When Sheep Collide

'Tis strange where we should get the notion
That poetry expressed in motion
Should within the human form reside.
When nature gives us many chances
Unpractised and ephemeral dances
Like in a muddy field when sheep collide

Truth is, that nature's not so humble
And doesn't mind the dancer's stumble
There's nothing that it ever seeks to hide
Uncaring it leaves all revealed
And is not shamed if one small field
Has crazy sheep and one long muddy slide

They're mad, they're bad, they're having fun
Those naughty sheep and every one
Is doing what convention has denied
The hillside's muddy, wet and slick
With crazy sheepies sliding quick
Down to the bottom, down where sheep collide.

Many count good nature's fare
The birdsong and the country air
Among the wonders of the countryside
But strange delight can yet be found
In woolly bodies sliding round
A simple muddy field where sheep collide.

While nature guides celestial spheres
In cosmic dances, it appears,
With majesty the earthborn are denied
Down far beneath in mud and grass
A sheep slides on its woolly a***:
A sense of fun, though not a sense of pride.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Retired Romance 1st of sequence- " IKE " and Jane "

...Now I ain't without notoriety,
Fact is.. I'm an old stalker with a walker.
She was big in the Purple Hat Society
and broke her hip,...while playing soccer.

When I met her, she was on the mend,
and she knew.. what I was after...
and I said I'd catch her when I can,
She said to push that walker a lil' faster.

She had her a "lectric wheel chair,
I just had my old walker and me,
she was pretty fast for a blue hair...
"till I crashed into her I.V. tree...

Well, they fitted my leg with plaster,
and I kinda forgot what I was after...
"till one day,
she wheeled in to see me,
Yep.  Said she'd come ta free me!

Now we sit together,
cozy up and talk about the weather.
We compare wrinkled tatoos,
and guess what they are,
we may share a shot of booze,
we don't go too awful far...

We keep our orthepedic shoes
under the same bed,
and I retired as a walker stalker,
meals on wheels keeps us fed
and we keep our teeth...
in the very same locker.

("Nite Nite, Darlin.")


                                            Composed and Written by-
                                                   Robert A. Dufresne


Details | Rhyme | |

The Wisdom of Wine and Gin

My hair has receded and my belly grown fat
There’s hair growing in my ears and I don’t like that
My joints ache all the day and I have troubles with peeing
I’m tired all the time and have glasses for seeing
Gravity has taken over putting life in a downward spin
No wonder I enjoy drinking a little wine and gin


Details | Alliteration | |

Stink Thinking

Poem by: Mr. Ronald Watson
Sep. 13, 2012
My Poetry on PoetrySoup

Stinking Thinking

Stinking thinking/ it leads to drinking./
What moisten the soul without an inkling?/
Unto making a wild left turn /while the right signal light were blinking./
Within a mild mix of rice, hops, and barley,
Since/ it is too much laugher at a karaoke party./
How Elvis sounds like,/ a broken Bob Marley?/
Now it’s as if,/ inhibitions are lowed/
Frozen in time/ and slipping far out of control./
As intuitions of minds does loathe,/ as such weariness echoes for tomorrow./
Yet,/ a stinking breath that smells just as death/ and it's where all funky asses dwells./
Though/ all hung over /and unjustified to flinging heavy heads into that porcelain king,/ 
Even this is a sight for red sore eyed Kings!/ 
It is an aftermath of ravishing through them royal purple cloth bags./
So/ afraid to admit that shallowness slowly drags!/
When,a sense of clarity which will just admit it.
That stinking thinking is difficult to kick, but
One day at a time, it is the only way to shine, or get fixed.  

Thank youMy Poetry on PoetrySoup
God Bless.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

God Answers Aunt Kate-repost

For the last few days
     her depression had weighed
          heavy, a thick woolen shroud,
              her thoughts thickened by darkening clouds,
                    in an endless tunnel the sides closing in like a narrowing funnel.

She sat, immobile, staring 
      through the window of the house she'd built with such caring.
                
It'd started as a shack by a pond on some land
                           and she'd hammered and built it
                                               with help from no man.

She kept adding on, room after room,
      as if she, too, suffered from the Winchester doom.

Eccentric, they'd call her, if she had any bread,
      but, since she was poor, she was "soft in the head."

A tiny little woman, emaciated, so thin,
      she was not much more than frail bones under skin.
Yes, she was surely a pitiful thing,
      shoulder blades jutting like primordial wings.

Like an old phonograph with its needle stuck,
          she prayed for death, so far with no luck.

Suddenly there came a tremendous din,
         like demons scratching on her roof of old tin.

Startled, heart pounding in her bird-cage chest,
             she was suddenly afraid of a cardiac arrest.

Armed with her twelve gauge she crept to the door,
         a thousand claws scratching, louder than before.

She'd always been brave and her life had been hard,
           so, gun at the ready, she stepped into the yard.

Locked and loaded and aimed at the roof,
        she feared for her life, to tell you the truth.

(Not minutes ago, she was begging for death,
         now she was worried this might be her last breath.)

Then she looked at the roof and let out a gasp,
         the rifle fell heavily from her stunned grasp.

There on the roof and thick in the trees,
          was a sight that made her weak in the knees.

HUNDREDS of VULTURES all eye-balling her,
        clacking their beaks as they seemed to concur.

Aunt Kate started laughing and laughed 'til she cried,
        she hooped and she hollered, holding on to her sides.

The birds, having reasoned she'd make less than a bite,
                  stretched out their wings and took off in flight.

Her depression has lifted and, I heard a rumor,
       that her life had been saved by God's sense of humor. 

********Many thanks to Aunt Kate for this wonderful true story.**************


Details | I do not know? | |

My_True_Identity.sas

Data Birth;
 INFILE 'C\Fathersperm\Motheregg\9_months\The_One_Of_Shadows.txt';
 INPUT FNAME = 'Yoni'
          LNAME = 'Dvorkis';
    Var Hidden_Meaning = "SAS code is not meant to be poetry you nut job";
Run; 

Data Child;
 Set Birth;
    Where Age >= 4; 
    Var Worldview = Parents_Worldview; 
    Var Facial_Expression = compress('Fear'||'Bewilderment'||'Jews believe in guilt');
Run;

Data Teenager;
 Set Child (Drop= Innocence, Baby_Fat, Cheerful_Disposition);
    Where Age >= 15 and BAC_Level >= .01;
    Var Worldview = (Peer_Pressure * 100) + Favorite_Teacher_Worldview
                            - Parents_Worldview;
    Var Hidden_Meaning = "Where are you going with this?";
Run;

Data Adult;
 Set Teenager (Keep= Anger, Intelligence, Need_For_Material_Wealth, Hatred_Towards_Body
                     Drop= A_Sense_Of_Security_In_An_Unforgiving_World);
    Var Job_That_Slowly_Kills_You = "Healthcare Data Analyst and SAS Programmer";
    Var Worldview = (Company_Mission_Statement + Family_Is_Most_Important) 
                             / Screw_Everyone_Else_I_Have_My_Own_Problems;
    Where Age >= 21 and BAC_Level >= .15;
         If Yearly_Salary >= 100,000 then 
             Self_Esteem = "Now I'm worth something!!";
         Else if 50,000 <= Yearly_Salary < 100,000 then 
             Self_Esteem = "I guess I should count myself lucky...";
         Else if Yearly_Salary < 50,000 then 
             Self_Esteem =  ______;
    Var Hidden_Meaning = "Jeez, you're really laying it on thick with the salary stuff";
Run;

Data Old_Man;
 Set Adult;
     Where Age >= 65 and Yearly_Salary = "Whatever's left of Social Security"; 
     Var Cynical_Being = 
              (Why_Did_It_Have_To_End_Like_This  *  Years_Hiding_In_Plain_Sight )
                                            - The_Will_To_Keep_Going;
Run; 

Proc sort data = Old_Man out = Old_Man_On_Deathbed nodupkey;
 By What_This_All_Meant_To_Me;
Run;

Data My_True_Identity;
 Merge Old_Man_On_Deathbed (in = a)  God  (in = b);
 By _all_;
 If b and not a;
Run;


Details | Rhyme | |

ITS POINTLESS

Now here's a contest that seems pointless
But, up to a point, I guess it will do.
The points in my life have sometimes been fruitless,
I just thought I would point that out to you.

Oh, the point of this rhyme
May be pointed one way,
But it is at this point in time
To score points by what I say.

The point that I am making,
Is that there is always some point
That life points in a way forsaking,
Giving your point a grave disjoint.

I have pointed out many times
that points are good and bad.
But the good points I remember better
Rather than the bad points I have had.

You can sometimes see how pointless it is
To try to point these things out.
As for the point I am making,
You get the point...no doubt!


Details | Dodoitsu | |

The Brown Tree

All the nuts fell to the ground
The sane ones on branches hang
Long line from many countries
My family tree


Details | Senryu | |

Worry-Wart

I often worry
that I might run out of things
to worry about...


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Oh, Toilet Bowl

Oh, toilet bowl
Did you hear me in the hall
Talking to that bastard wall
Asking who moved the door

Oh, toilet bowl
Don’t ever have gin and tonic
Cause inebriation is quite ironic
When lost in your own home
 
Oh, toilet bowl
So accessible and cool
Forgive my 90 proof drool
Irony is about to surface

Oh, toilet bowl
We're no longer alone
I’m talking to Ralph
on your big white phone
He says he’s sorry

Oh, toilet bowl
My porcelain gold
If I may be so bold
Meet my bottom

Oh, toilet bowl!


Details | Rhyme | |

THE PSYCHEDELIC STEW

THE PSYCHEDELIC STEW 
 
We loved to drive out through the hills 
Where landscapes are so green, 
And always sought the smell of hay 
That seemed so fresh and clean. 
 
We'd rent a cosy cottage there 
Around that time each year, 
The days and nights were magical 
And life was full of cheer. 
 
That night we planned a simple tea 
A good old country stew, 
With fresh grown mushrooms we had picked 
As 'round the place they grew. 
 
Those mushrooms seemed much larger then 
The ones we'd norm'lly find, 
But in they went with all the rest, 
We really did not mind. 
 
Our stew was just the best we'd had 
On that we did agree, 
Then sitting back and quite content 
Enjoyed a cup of tea. 
 
When suddenly, in front of us,  
Our kitchen came to life 
With antics never seen before; 
Sure terrified my wife. 
 
She sat and watched with fear filled eyes 
For both her knife and fork, 
Were standing up and quite erect 
And both of them could walk. 

The kitchen curtains did a jig 
And plates flew 'round the room, 
Our mop then left its corner spot 
To line dance with the broom. 
 
Old teapot sang and clapped its hands, 
The tea cups joined in too. 
My mind it boggled at the sight 
and wondered what to do. 
 
I grabbed the phone and dialled for help 
That soon was on its way; 
Though not before the pots and pans 
Had all began to play. 
 
Poor doctor tried to calm us down 
Enquiring of our plight. 
We mentioned what had taken place, 
The horrors of that night. 
 
He summed up what had taken place, 
The answer he now knew, 
We'd eaten mushrooms which produced, 
A psychedelic stew.


Details | Rhyme | |

THE AGING PROCESS

Many years ago, when we were all young,
We really thought life, would be so much fun.
While playing dress-up, trying on mom’s stuff,
Putting on make-up, we found to be tough.

Then came our schooling, and boy things would change,
“Those aren’t our parents”, when they acted strange.
Sometimes they were hip, but old-fashioned too,
That’s something I swore, I would never do.

Wishing you were older, adults had it made,
They would do nothing, yet still would be paid.
That is how little, we all had known,
We surely found out, once we were grown.

Loving the twenties, we’d go out with friends,
When we went shopping, we followed the trends.
Doing what we wanted, and staying out late,
It didn’t matter, what time we all ate.

Then came the thirties, and most of us wed,
Watch what you wish for, my parents had said.
We had to work hard, many bills to pay,
I guess they were right, what more can I say?

Raising your children, was hardest of all,
Needing some advice, your parent’s you’d call.
It seemed so easy, they needed no rest,
So now it’s your turn, you learned from the best.

The forties arrived, that was a shocker,
We’d spend lots of time, just at the doctor.
Back aches and headaches, so tired you’d be,
Trying not to cough, or else you would pee.

The fifties would come, and your grandkids too,
Where were your glasses? You hadn’t a clue.
You searched here and there, and under the bed,
“Hey grandma” they laughed, “They’re right on your head”.

Here come the sixties, now let’s have some fun,
You are retired; your work is all done.
To dinner with friends, you dressed and you wait,
They never show up, you have the wrong date.

Now the seventies, with friends playing games,
If only you could, remember their names.
You try hard to hide, those under-eye bags,
Gravity happens, and everything sags.

Enjoy every day, and have a good laugh,
All the steps you took, led down a new path.
Live life as it comes, each year a new page,
One thing is for sure, everyone will age.


Details | Rhyme | |

if my life was upside down

if my life was upside down i'd bump my head against the ground i'd trip over ceiling fans and i'd shake feet insted of hands i wouldnt keep any pocket change but i would keep a blood rushed brain every smile would be a frown living life upside down life upside down would be a mess confusing your right from my left people would say bottoms up but if i did i would spill my cup it sure would be funny when friends came around they wouldn't ask whats up? they would sarcastically ask whats down for those of you.....who wake up in bed in the morning when i wake,.... i wake down insted people always tell me to keep my head up high i look at them with resentment and walk away and sigh pictures never seem to stay when i hang them on the wall being upside down they always seem to fall i always have a hard time writing what i say and when i use my pen the ink flows the other way its funny how people complain about how life keeps them down but they haven't experienced living life upside down


Details | Haiku | |

It is now

Ain't a word, you said.
but it takes a daring gust 
for things start to be.


Details | Free verse | |

two shoes

two shoes
under the chair
waiting 
for somewhere to go
and someone to go with

looking lonely
but only
just waiting 
for the weather 
to clear 


Details | Rhyme | |

The anomaly of irony.

Rolling through a bloody mess,
my master died alone no less.
His mercy was indeed a lie,
he said I lived but now will die.

His hand was swift with a mighty stroke,
within a thought my life was broke.
Oh how I lived, and he knew not,
but now I lay...my life to rot.

No foot, nor hand could move a limb,
Three days old and no sign of him.
And then he came at my wits end,
With strength alone I cant defend.

He lift me up and broke my jaw,
Just to laugh as I hit the floor.
He took a blade and made a fist,
stabbed his flesh, his vein, his wrist.

Now you're dead and now you're mine,
drink from me and you'll be fine.
I could not stand my masters site,
I killed him quick with my own bite.


Details | Light Poetry | |

AMY WINEHOUSE-Should have went to rehab


They tried to make you go to Rehab...
you said...
                NO!
                    NO!!
                       NO!!!
Shoulda' packed your bags ta' Rehab...
you wouldn't 
                 GO!
                     GO!!
                        GO!!!
  
 boo-hoo hot-mess
        Wine-HORSE


Details | I do not know? | |

Mistaken For A Senior Citizen!

Ok, I normally keep my cool.
I rarely get THAT mad.
I wanted to knock her teeth out! 
Oh yes, it was that bad! 

I was innocently shopping.
Going about my day.
I was finished with the browsing 
so I headed up to pay.

This nasty, mid-aged woman
looked me in the eye
and what she said made my mouth drop
and made me want to cry! 

She asked if I ''get the discount''.
Of course I said ''I don't know, 
how do you get this discount? ''
and then she said...''Oh, no.''

''Forget it, I'm sure you don't.''
I knew what she meant then...
this woman was asking me
if I was a... SENIOR CITIZEN! ! 

It takes alot to get me mad
and I never ever swear
but, let's just say I bit my tongue
as I left that day from there! 

I told her she just ruined
what had been a decent day.
She gave a smirk and brushed me off
with little more to say.

Perhaps I don't look twenty...
this I will admit.
But, she was at least 60 
and looked every day of it.

How rude to ask a woman
when she's only 34
if she's a senior citizen! 
I won't shop there anymore! !


Details | Verse | |

Enigma's Calling

Extraordinary, I am 
Craving for unusual thoughts
Endless exploration without boundary
Understanding  the gift I shouldn't fought
 
Invisible drawings in my mind
Playing with the words in my head
My passion
The food of my soul
 
I feel so lucky
The random thoughts
A lifetime companion
A self esteem builder
A goal planner
Be my forever life saver
 
I write more
I talk less
I want to please
I chose to bore
 
What tickles me the most
Is to know what I'm for
Thinking is my love
When  my mind goes empty
That's when I hate
 
My day dreaming lust
Organizing things in my mind
Playing roles of simulation
Where images of art is my vision
And words of attitude is my heart


Details | Limerick | |

PamelaKaye

There's a gal named PamelaKaye
Her writing style, poetic buffet
A sweet Texas tart
Who has a big heart
And a buttocks the size of Bombay


Details | Rhyme | |

Another Criminal Act

Before sentence is passed, please hear my plea
I promise to be the man that I should be
Don't give me death. Please be kind
I have a family I don't want to leave behind.

I was unaware at the time
That what I did was a horrible crime
So now I feel like a louse
Please don't kick me out of the house.

I know what I do now is totally right
I am surrendering without a fight
And with head bowed I know it's time
For me to pay for my crime.

From now on I will go straight
When I start snacking very late
The last thing I do after finishing my drink
Is put the damn dishes in the sink.


Details | Free verse | |

JINGLE

Jingle!
She has a bracelet on    Hear it?
Jingle!
When she tells her friend how concert-hip she is it
Jingles!
Quaking little cupids. trolls and other creatures come together
   and they
Jingle!
On the brighter side, she's taking off her hat,
    but when she does it's tutti-forte
JINGLE!
I'm betting at the softest point of Weber's overture she'll
    consult her program and it will
Jingle!
Oh, damn!
Jingle!
It's in my ears    in my head    like Robert Schumann
Jingle!
Get a grip    The concertmaster has come on    takes a bow
    looks to see who makes a
Jingle!
The oboe sounds an A
Jingle!
The winds begin to tune
Jingle!
The brass have heard her song and laugh
Jingle!
Horns    trumpets    trombones give a mighty blast!
Jingle!
And here come the strings    all 62    pull there bows
    but still can hear that
Jingle!
Now    at last    her tintinnabulation's lost in thunderous
    applause    Maestro has come on
(Jingle)
I do believe he knows the lass
Jingle!
He throws to her a little bow    a kiss
Jingle! Jingle! Jingle! Jingle! Jingle!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Utter Nonsense

One cold day, I was burning up
The rain outside was dry
The sunshine, mooned each falling star
Out there, inside was I

Reading, when I'm fast asleep
I saw no movement stand
I reached without and outstretched arm
to flick the fly that land

Bouncing, being very still
I thought it lively, dying
When up it sprang, just flatly
All it's energy, spent trying

Salt I sprinkled, as it poured
Atop, the underneath, it's belly
Finally flopping, to and fro
Then landing in my jelly


Details | Free verse | |

Killing my Other Me

I'm contemplating killing my other me,
The one who fronts for the five figure manager at Ruby Tuesday for a job,
Struggling to tie loose ends, so my ends don't meet.
Strangers they are, Me and I, I and Me,
And there is a sharp turn ahead, 
So I can't see our future.
Contemplating offing that sucka!
An actor, he can accurately depict whatever you want him to,
A puppet for a crowd full of the wealthy and snobby,
And I, the weak minded puppeteer of financial slavery?
Broke brotha representa?
Am real.
Seriously contemplating killing my other me,
I mean getting him good for all the eggshells he left in the batter,
There's no way I'm getting cake!
I mean the ladies would dig I,
Maybe even marry a brotha, but me?
This dude falls back and plays chill for no reason,
While the girls are just teasing, begging me please come see!
He tries to wait, and play it smart, but the game ends before he begins...
I'm contemplating killing my other me,
He has no purpose, no drive, stuck on the side of life's highway with his hazards on,
Dormant, while my friends pass by,
I have no clue where I'm going, 
But I sit in the passenger seat while this fool puts nowhere in the GPS,
Stressed because I am me and he seems confident in us...
I trust the untrustworthy with my most valued possession,
Life.
So death should come to me...
And it will when i sense the urge to kill, 
But for now...
I'm just contemplating killing my other me.


Details | Narrative | |

Call Me Gonzo

For thoose of you who may not know.
Just call me gonzo I write the absurd for life is insane and sometimes 
it takes a madman to speak the truth so very clear.

I write for the broken vacant faces that have lost all hope.
To the dreamer who's well is slowley running dry from everyone
telling him to stop wasting his time.

I write like a endless highway fueled by whiskey and wild women 
every adventure leads to pain but life is pain and i love in spite of it.

I thirst for every unseen mile the desert my brother it's people dwell
in the spirt of the west the opium parlors and brothels spirt still linger.
I write with a hint of danger and a promise of disaster.

Im a blues player whos trying to out run the devil.
Im a outlaw riding to cross the border a woman looking to the 
empty range for my return.

I write because I breath in a world were the creative air has gone 
stale.
The bottle sits apon table and I welcome any strangers company
I just rather that stranger be a warm woman instead of a 
unfriendly amigo who is a little jelouse.

Write to be more than just part of the highways landscape.
Some may call me crude crazy insane some even vulgar and 
liar and thief.
But aside from thoose compliments.
No matter what you may call me.
Dont ever forget to just call me gonzo.


Details | Limerick | |

Slams Destroyed Her Head

Slams Destroyed Her Head

She was slammed by slam poetry, boo hoo!
Some folks wondered about the hullabaloo.
When bombarded with dread,
Sad thoughts destroyed her head.
Now, she thinks she’s a blithering cuckoo!

© July 17, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen


Details | Limerick | |

Don't Disturb The Hive

Run, jump, scream, duck, dodge and leap 
Try to stay on your running feet 
Honey in the hive 
The bees are alive 
Run, jump, scream, don't fall and leap!


Details | Bio | |

hell was other...

hell was other
people’s lives, 
wayward wit and 
witless pride, 
played upon 
the green of life, 
until the light
was left to right,

hell was other
people’s thoughts,
fraught with that, 
that we applaud, 
aimless aims and 
limbless lots, 
the truth in truth 
we soon forgot,

hell was other 
people…


Details | Quatrain | |

First Snowfall

Snow falls softly late one night In the darkness it does bask I dread the job tomorrow Shoveling will be my task Beauty is in the eyes of the viewer I see nothing but giant flakes of work The trees all have snow on this first shower Dreading the day of a job using torque The pathways are snowed over All with a reflective white I want to get to bed soon For I know tomorrow’s plight I’m mesmerized by the beautiful scene Not a thing is without some wondrous snow Even though I sure do dread the next day I will put on a great, wonderful show This time of year affects me Seems to rub off some great cheer I will find a way to smile Though there’s snow up to my rear
Russell Sivey Form Quatrain-1st, 3rd, 5th stanzas have 7 syllables, 2nd, 4th stanzas have 10 syllables


Details | Epitaph | |

Floating.....

Wish I could have taken better 
Care of my body... 
Wish they could have stopped 
the cancer sooner... 

I'm just a spirit now, 
Floating over my own funeral. 

If I had my way, I'd pick another church. 
At least one that spelled my name right 
On the obituary. 

I wonder if they knew, 
That I truly loved Sonya, 
but married Adele out of convenience. 

Wish I could have told my brother, Kenny 
I forgive him, maybe he wouldnt cry so hard. 
Wish I could tell Aunt May that hat is too big. 
I wonder if Tara knows the deacons 
Are looking up her dress. 

Im just a spirit now, 
Floating over my own funeral. 

I wonder if the choir knows 
How much I really hate that song... 
Hope they know the Pastor's lying. 
I was not that good of a man.. 

That suit is not the one I would have picked. 
My body looks so much smaller, 
and that make-up makes me look too light. 

Im just a spirit now, 
Floating over my own funeral. 
Free from pain, free from it all. 

Wonder if they know, 
In spite of my short time on this earth...
i truly enjoyed it.
I truly loved it all.


Details | Rhyme | |

Shameful Morning

not sure how she got here 
only know she needs to leave

underneath the stranger 
my arm numb; asleep, 
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry 

princess of night 
exposed by light. 
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess. 

bed broken
along with my will. 
I swore never again; 
the lie is half the thrill.

~JSLambert


Details | Limerick | |

Just Desserts For Unfaithful

.
  Any pretty woman turned his head
  He liked them all so it is said
  Then one day to his surprise
  They no longer caught his eye
   His sexual desire totally died


Details | Quatrain | |

Prelude to a Poke

I do not recall
The bravado with which I spoke
The titillating prose
Seduction’s prelude to a poke
You spoke of love
with a lust that I understand
your heart a bloom
your derriere met my hand
I pulled you closed
my eyes nearly met yours
your bosom winked  
thank God I wore drawers
Do you not see
that my passions are pure
a burning in my loins
for which water has no cure
We gazed upon the heavens
I wrapped her in the moonlight
I looked at the time
my prayers faded into night
We danced till dawn
I had answered her romantic call
I whispered sweet somethings
Before her foot procured my fall


Details | Ballad | |

Across the Way - The Sequel

Another day and the dishes have piled up yet again
So back I end up in front of the window 
I do not glance up, but concentrate
On the dull, dirtied objects before me
I do not hear the voices from yesterday
I still wallow in the grime of gray
I smile in malcontent
As I lather the dishes with soap
Against my will, I look up 
To see a lone, fat man opening a refrigerator
He is shirtless, bulgy, and he looks pregnant
My first supposition is to laugh
But I only look back down at the dishes
Not wanting to stare at the fat man
Not wanting to think he looks pregnant
For sure not wanting him to be my neighbor
Across the way

Against my will again, I look up
The fat, pregnant man is gone
I see ornaments on the refrigerator
Some pictures, some magnets
Family; not so different from my life
But yet, there is a transparent fancy of mystery
A flashy rage of difference in the silence
Oh, so quiet
The blazing sun sprays its light upon the hour
Not only are my hands wet from the soapy water
The deafening tone of quietude
Revels in me a mixture of loneliness and physical heat
A burning desire for something not seen
A desire for utter disgust of my newly found neighbors
But I find myself not disgusted at all
Until I look up again and see a fully naked man at the window
Across the way


Details | Rhyme | |

Granddads Book

In my quiet times I often try,
To remember places I've been.
To recall folk I have passed by,
And sights that I have seen.

There is nothing wrong with my mind,
Sometimes my memory is quite refined.
I think it's filled over many a year,
With so much junk, nothing seems clear.

So, I made up my mind to write it all down,
To recall it all caused me to frown
It started like I was in the dark,
A memory flared, I was in the park.

That day in the park was just the lever,
I found my mind was as good as ever.
Tho' times and places got out of line,
I wrote it all down, now wasn't I clever!

I'm nearly at the end of my story,
A journey I'm glad that I took.
For my grandsons to read in years to come,
I'll call it Granddads Book.

© Dave Timperley 2012.


Details | Lyric | |

A Cubicle Wish

I wish the world was made of cubes,
Four flat sides and a top ~
For I cant stand the slippy things,
That tend to slide or flop.
From piles of paper falling down 
Upon my dirty floor ~
To odd shaped bottles and fans I have,
Like one gigantic junk drawer.
But if the world was made of cubes
sitting in neat stacks ~
Then things would not fall over things
And this place wouldn‘t look like crap.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the Day

If love is a game I need a referee
If sex is a game I want instant re-play
I played the game of life but fouled out
Life stinks (Forgot to take a shower his morning)
Just my luck, life was but a dream and my alarm went off

Does a bear sh-t in the woods? (Don't think Polar Bears do)
When pigs fly, my windshield's in BIG trouble
The egg came before the chicken but some fool sat on it
I want to fly like an eagle but I have a fear of heights
NEVER venture outdoors when it's raining cats and dogs
Maggots began the tradition of getting married in June

She told me to go fly a kite but the take-off was rather chaotic
Two neighbors gossiped over an electric fence and were shocked at the news
If you need someone to lean on make sure they don't have Vertigo
A new cemetery employee is often assigned to the graveyard shift
A harried and harassed mother accidentally threw the bath water out with the baby
Due to inflation, every time it rains it rains, quarters from heaven
I took the money and ran but ran into an old friend...



Details | Couplet | |

Nek minnit

I see you in the distance quite stunning are are to my eye's, I start to check you up and down I think an angel has arrived. Lovely slender legs and curvy little waist, nicely proportioned bust, amazing grace. As you slowly get closer my heart skips a beat, flicking your beautiful long brown hair so I can gaze upon your face. I quickly turn my head away, I just can't believe my eye's. That sexy attractive women I thought you were, Nek Minnit, your a guy.
Shame!!
Contest: ANY 2012 POEM any theme/any form max of 18 lines - Brian Strand
M.Mahauariki © 2012


Details | I do not know? | |

* on the horizon

Out on the horizon dances the animals,
free from their bondage that held them once.
They are hidden well you must look hard to see
them through the brush, grass, and the trees.
Enemies, prey for others to eat they were once but,
but now they all are dancing free out on the horizon.

Dedicated to: Dane Ann Smith-Johnson
with Love from: The Keeper (as I said this is what
Heaven must be like.)


Details | Haiku | |

Fun in the Sun

Black cat chasing birds
outside in the midday sun
veiled squirrel looks on


Details | Sonnet | |

Eternity

I am looking right at you and you don’t even know it.
I will deter your intent and throw you off a steep cliff.
But in the air will be my snuff and gruff you can sniff.
Eventually I will have some sort of mercy of just a bit.

Surely we are above empowering manners of tat for tit. 
Maybe I’ll light a scented candle and blow you my whiff.
Or maybe I will strand you grounding your bones to stiff.
Opposed or decomposed and still composed I won’t quit.

Upside down,
Inside or out,
I’ll throw down.
I am the clout.

Don’t mistake my identity,
Either or, it’s your eternity.

® Registered: Ann Rich   2009


Details | I do not know? | |

No Choice!

I hate it when I'm
       told to do
This damn thing
       or that.

And I hate it
When I don't do it
And am made to
      feel a rat!

So what is it that
      I hate much more
To do or not to do?

The former is within myself
      The latter within me, too!


Details | Free verse | |

Fancy Hair

I turned on the water sprinkler under the Weeping Willow
A fine stream it did spray
The tree was lacking the nourishment that it gets from water
For it has not rained much in many days

As I was working in my kitchen and viewing the scene
Along came a male Red Cardinal
On a rose bush he did preen
Just close enough to the water to receive a fine spray

When he was water coated, he flew away
Up into the Weeping Willow and puffed his feathers out
Shook his tiny body as a dog after taking a bath
Then he sat in the Weeping Willow and rested for a spell

Before he had time to dry,  a Black Bird
Landed on a Weeping Willow limb
Just close enough to the spray to get his shower today
Very intelligent these  birds of the yard

Knowing how to refresh and clean their feathers 
Sometimes I wonder if they are not more intelligent
Than some of the humans that have big brains 
And fancy hair....

(I'll call it free verse for no other reason than I don't know where else it would fit.)


Details | I do not know? | |

Aerial assault

If pigs could fly it wouldn’t be good
You’d have to go out with a brolly
Wear Wellington boots and waterproof suits
Life wouldn’t be happy or jolly

There’d be danger around every corner
You’d think in your car you’d be safe
But unless you’re under some cover
Either you or your car they will strafe

The Towns would be dirty and smelly
And slippery in the extreme
We’d have to employ a small army
In an effort to keep the streets clean

Now don’t you get all of a fluster
For the scientists haven’t yet found
The means of piggy propulsion
Or getting the beasts off the ground

If one day this nightmare should happen
It won’t come as any surprise
If they manage to get piggies airborne 
Then the price of bacon will rise

© John W Fenn  17-01-2009


Details | Light Poetry | |

Genesis of an Idea

I saw a young lady today who had a tattoo that covered up her arm, 
It wrapped it up completely but it only added to her charm. 

The tat she had was bold and it caused me to do a double take, 
Because on her body was tattooed a coiled and smiling snake. 

Its leering head appeared from over the top of her left shoulder, 
And it gazed down the front of her shirt at something even bolder. 

From the neckline of her tank top was revealed some kind of fruit, 
Her bosom was changed into a tempting apple, to hide it now was moot. 

Even though I could only see the stem, my imagination filled in the rest, 
I tried to not think about her orchard but it put my will power to the test. 

A lesson about temptation was being taught to all who came to seek, 
I’m sure that it will lead some Adam astray if he should sneak a peek. 

Her tattoo was ripe for the picking and it seemed she had a bumper crop. 
But just like Sir Isaac Newton’s apple someday hers will also drop. 

So let this stand as a warning and be careful which symbol you select, 
Remember that the artwork that you choose is the image that you’ll project. 

At nineteen nothing is cuter than a pair of angel wings so feathery, 
When you’re old they’ll remind you that the end is near on skin that is so leathery. 

But she did inspire me to get a tattoo and so to the parlor I did go, 
I got the universal recycle symbol on the bottom of my big toe. 

So when my time is done and I’ve finished my walk along life’s path, 
They’ll attach my toe tag in the morgue and I’ll get one last laugh.


Details | Free verse | |

Chemo Fun

Sitting in the backseat ~ yackety
she drives like
    crackers ~ wackedy
speeding to the movies?
we can’t be late?
Driver ahead asleep at the
    light
panic stop she makes ~ 5 seatbelts lock
But the 
backlash! ........... flying wig
plops smack in my lap . . . .
Screaming fits of laughter all around.
Late to the movies after all,
    not nearly as good.




Dedicated to my friend, Kate.
Breast cancer survivor.


Details | Light Poetry | |

' Boot-Legged Mama '

Mama and Daddy was always Love-Dovey
She is His Sweetheart – He is Her Honey
First Love… Real Love  -  Forever True
Pa… I Pray to find A Man Like You…

Daddy Laughed and Put His Arm Round My Shoulder
And Said, “I’ll Tell You Somethin’, Now You’re Older
It’s got to do with Your Mother’s Fame
And Why I gave Her, The Nickname…

               … Boot-Legged Mama

                  Boot-Legged Mama
Blue-jean Shorts and Vintage Tony Lama
Walked thru the Door… of A Liquor Store
… Packaged so Pretty… Pa Just had to Pour

               … Boot-Legged Mama

Ma… Was there, to get 6-packs for A Party…
Pa… Was there, ‘cause of a Taste for Bacardi
He took One Look and Knew He Couldn’t Waste Her
Pa… Gave-up ‘Drank’… Just so He Could Chase her !

Dad, Said, ‘He’d Drowned in Dark-Eyes and Sweet-Aroma
Fine-Wine, Crystal… But Tuff’ Nuff’ to Down-Drama
Pa Claims, Mama’s Labeled by the F.D.A.
And Listed on Her Driver’s License is,  A.K.A.  …

               … Boot-Legged Mama

                  Boot-Legged Mama
 Genuine Woman, Who Made Him Wanna’
Take Her to be His Lawful Moonshine
… Married at Midnight – ‘cross The County-Line

               … Boot-Legged Mama

Alcohol’s in Trauma;  and Prohibition Told Her:
"Boot-Legged Mama… Done Drove Pa Sober !"
Now, Homemade-Hooch… is His Acquired Taste
180 Proof… Kicked All Over His Case !

Right Then, Mama Flowed into The Room
Pa, Teased and Said, “Still Full-Bodied and Perfumed !
Ma Hugged Us, then Handed Me – Old Boots and A Dress…
    (and good advice)… “Go Git’ My Elliot Ness…

               … and be a Boot-Legged Mama!

( Hey !... Did I Hear Somebody, In A Country Drawl ….
          Order Up A Bottle of Kicking Alcohol !
         Well, Here She Is… Y'all ! ...
                  Boot-Legged Mama ….

Well John (Moses) Freeman... You Said You Needed
Somethin' :)  to Read tonight, before kicking up your
heels...  Well, Here It Is (Have Fun - Son)

MoonBee 

 (Thank You For All Your Wonderful Comments
Now, I Can't Get Thru The Door for My Ego.. (Smile)


Details | Rhyme | |

Poor Little Orphan Kids, With No Moms Or Fads

I like the thought of evolution
That a fish could outsmart god
Show him something new and bold
Like a human is something odd

I guess that’s just how people are
We think we’re all so special
7 billion people, all unique
Well I hate to be your buzz kill

But anarchist are just conformist
With a little dash of black
And an individual is just another punk
Who says rap is dead and the 60’s are back

An emo kid’s just a prep
Who balks at social adaptation
And a gothic kid is just a meat head jock
With less hand-eye coordination

So you’ll all pick: Fad or Fad
And you’ll all be some kind of elitist
Remember however, no one is truly unique
…well…except for all us artists  


Details | Rhyme | |

Mister God

I knelt by my bed in the morning 
And said, “Please Mister God
I want to be pleasing to You today
But though I try so hard
I sure seem to loose my way.”

“Don’t you worry, little lady”
Into my ear whispered He
Take a walk down the street with Me 
I’ll show you some things
I do as I am Me.”

We walked down the road
The signal was red
A man on a mobike sped with no helmet on his head
Wife and children gleefully clinging to the seat behind
“Where are they rushing, in a manner so blind?
Either they’ll be in heaven or send one up of their kind!”

“Ah, that’s not all,” He said
 “Look now, what do you see?”
“Oh my God! How can this be?” 
A boy jumped from a bus that was running 
Nonchalantly into cars that in chaos were crossing
“Dear God, on the side walk in one piece can he still be?”  

My list grew longer 
And my amazement larger
“Dear God!” said I, “We do things we really shouldn't be
How come there are still so many of us walking the streets on our two feet?
For by now there surely should be more crowd
For St. Peter to regulate through the yonder clouds.”

“Child, because you are you, 
You run and break the rules.
Because I am Me, I watch over thee
When you turn around and say you’re sorry
I balm your bruises and prop you on my knee
Because child, I am Me.”

“Lord, you’ve got one tough job
Guarding the faithful, the faithless, one and all.”
“You too are on my list, my little child
As is each one I made, I am always by your side
To the Pearly Gates you must come one day, one and all
But that will only be on My call
Till then not even a sparrow will fall.”


Details | Burlesque | |

Man

I’m a man
In case you couldn’t see
I don’t use the word “poopie”
And I’m addicted to TV
I’m a man
Who doesn't have time to bleed
But who still has compassion
For blind, busty women in need
I’m a man
Who isn’t defined by “it”
Though affectionate enough
To scratch a public itch
I’m a man
Driven by real adventure
Falling asleep on the sofa
Still wearing my dentures
I’m a man
A wild stud in full bloom
Waiting in the Jacuzzi 
Picking my Fruit of the Loom
I’m a man
Who hates to be mean
Crying in the bathroom
When it’s time to clean
I’m a man
Nothing more or less
A mountain of masculinity
Who never ceases to impress


Details | I do not know? | |

' Friend To Friend ... '

               A Friend:
One, Who Helps You Get Out Of A Jam

               A Partner:
… Is Usually In The  Jam With You

                   A Pal:
Is The One, Who Usually Gets You In The Jam

           An Acquaintance:
Someone, Who Heard About The Jam

                 A Buddy:
Says … Its Your Own Jam Fault …


Details | Senryu | |

on a diet

sugar substitute
low fat carbohydrate free
feed it to the cat


Details | Rhyme | |

The Questioner

The moon fills from the top
Each day gets lighter, growing
How it hold the light and it not run out
The bottom just pouring

Seeing the moon in day
Up in the clear sky blue
Makes mind search for way to express
Ones' questions about you

Momma always said that
I could ask more questions
Than Philadelphia lawyer
Her.....abstentions


(My mother always said that I asked too many questions ...Very inquistive child was I....Still 
wonder.....The word abstentions means ...no do.)


Details | Couplet | |

Mother's Wisdom

We nurture them within our bodies, birth them in a blinding pain,
suckle them on breasts so swollen, till we think we’ll go insane.

We kiss away each painful boo-boo, bandage each and every wound,
show them that in spite of roundness, peas can stay upon their spoons.

We intercept their nostril’s flowing, be it green or white as snow,
wiping gently ever hoping, for the day they’d learn to blow.

We give to them each ounce of wisdom, try to teach them everything,
suddenly, for unknown reasons, screw it up and give them wings.

We mourn a bit, those cherished moments, when on us they did depend,
days when we were super heroes, possessing wisdom without end.

We watch the journey proudly knowing, as they soar into the light,
Mother’s wisdom, though not perfect, lends the wind that gives them flight.


Details | Light Poetry | |

' El Toro - Rojo '

Como’ Si’ Yama’, Senor’
Como’ Si Yama’, Por Favor’…
… for Below That Embroidered Sombrero’
Shone Eyes Like El Dorado

He Was A Tall and Handsome Hombre’
Like The Range of Sierra Madre’
…Now, He Sat Center The Cantina
Surrounded by Bonita – Senhoritas

He Smiled, “Buenos-Dias Senora’”
Por Favor, Por Que’ El-Hora’ ?...
If So, Have A Seat, Mi- Amiga’
And Mercedes, Bring Over More Cerveza

He Was… Rodrigo Reyes-Pacheco’
Best - of The West, of Vaqueros’
He Came to Compete in The Rodeos
And Win Fame and Fortune in Pesos’

He Came Thru El Paso De’ Tejas
Thru Dusty Rancheros and Mesas
To Ride on El Toro Rojo
Who Has Never Been Ridden Befo’…

La Viva’… Arriva’  … Rodrigo
The Brave and The Bold Caballero’
Champion Bull Rider, from Old Mexico
Vaya’… Con Dios’ !... Rodrigo

Now, El Toro Rojo, Was Dangerous
For Killing Men, El Rojo, Was Infamous
His Horns Had Pierced Many A Corazon
Ripped Flesh, Like It Was Piñata’ Hung

I Informed All of This To Rodrigo
The Hombre, Was Bent on Being Macho’…
… He Would Ride Toro Rojo, Manyana’
Said “Gracias”… But My Cares Were Por Nada’ !

La Viva’… Arriva’… Rodrigo
The Brave and The Bold Caballero’
Champion Bull Rider, from Old Mexico
Vaya’… Con Dios’!... Rodrigo

… Now, He Wasn’t Loco in La Cabeza’
I Just Didn’t Comprehende’ … “Que’ Pasa”
But I Saw Rodrigo Atop… El Rojo 
… ! He Rode Like A Latino – Tornado ! …

He Rode El Rojo, To The End…
Then, Turned ‘Round and Rode Him Again…
Rodrigo had Won… Just Like He Planned…
Because El Toro – Rojo …   …  Was Mexican !

La’ Viva’ … Arriva’ … Rodrigo
The Brave and The Bold Caballero
Champion Bull Rider from Old Mexico
Vaya’ … Con Dios ! … Rodrigo….
Vaya’ … Con Dios !... Rodrigo o o o o o


for Ruben Ortellao... 
I Don't Really Know 
What Your Branch of Humanity is... 
(Spanish, French or Other)
But I thought You Might Like 
This Whimsical Poem...  
Oh... And Thank You For Your 
Most Generous Comments... 
(Cause I Know You Are A Fantastic Poet... 
I've Read Several of Yours 
and I Love Them Too...)

 (P.S.  Excuse the Spelling... 
I'm Spanish Illiterate (Smile)
MoonBee


Details | I do not know? | |

Ava's Night

My little girl, she could not sleep
so toss and turn, she pulled the sheets
and, ba ba black sheep safe in tow
to our dark room she chose to go
A creak of the door and then there she was
she wanted to sleep with us because
she heard a noise, she was too hot,
she tried to sleep but she could not
I hauled her up to our bed at three
before too long she was fast asleep
but I, on the other hand, was wide awake
for, someone did my pillow take
and someone elbowed me all night
and had the blanket pulled too tight
Someone’s hand flopped on my head
(I wished we had a king size bed)
By six I finally gave in and rose
eyes swollen tired and stuffy nose
hair looking like I had lost the war
all out of coffee so I went to the store
and when I got back, when asked how she slept
my little girl sighed, and said “good, except...
I thought I would sleep all snugly and tight
but MOMMA bug kept me UP ALL NIGHT!!!!”


Details | Verse | |

Adages

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
But man is slaved to fate,
No fun or spontaneity
Unless you speculate

You can’t keep a good man down
The candle’s sturdy wick,
Yet alcohol and ageing
Seems to do the trick.

Let he who is without sin
The first stone seek to cast
Attack is the best defence,
May as well be first as last.

Life is like a box of chocolates,
Yet as we grow old and greyer,
The top ones are all gone,
And the best from the bottom layer.

A woman is like a fine wine
With time she will mature,
But men by nature love to taste
A vintage that is newer.

The pen is mightier than the sword
Or so it has been writ,
Unless you’re in a sword fight
And then you’re in deep ….


Details | I do not know? | |

Tempers and Attitudes

Tempers and attitudes in our house did stay
Guess it was because we were raised that way
Things could get bad when one of us got mad
If you escaped unhurt, then be really glad
For the attitudes would flare
And tempers would rage
We were all quite violent for our age
With our fists our problems were solved
I know that may sound unorthodox to all
But in our home, an evil ruled
In being mean, we were schooled
My brother and sister were taught well
Mess with them and you’ll pay hell
One day while they were playing together
Sitting by the stove because of cold weather
My brother had taken sis’s doll away
With her, this was not how to play
She got mad and started to cry
My brother laughed as he watched her whine
Well then she thought that little brat
If he wants to fight, then I’ll just fight back
So into the ashes from under the stove
She reached in and pulled out a bolt
A bolt from a rail road tie I believe
And trust me when I say they’re big
She turned around and without a word
A big loud crack from his head could be heard
Golden blonde hair now soaked with blood
I had watched from where I stood
This little girl with such cute curls
Has proven that she’ll rock your world
If you mess with her or her dolls
You’d better run at least three miles
For her revenge is not too good
My brother knows and this is understood
For underneath that cute exterior
Is the soul of a very brave warrior



Details | I do not know? | |

All Over the Place

Goofy-
Go figure.
Wondering,
Numerous trips to Disneyland in childhood?
Now part of me,
Shake him off?
Gave up long ago.
My face is lifted in warped muse,
Monty Python,
Where did that all come from?
Blame it on the Tucson breeze of carrying silly sand spells,
Only to be caught right between my mind's eyes.
Like the Los Angeles traffic is not enough writing over the edge.
Loving laughing-
What Heaven will do to bring smiling moments through friends.
Than out of the clear blue sky of nowhere,
Little child mentor,
Never heard nor read,
Joan from France,
Beauty of heroism.
Who am I to be blessed in your taunting loveliness?
Walking the voyage from the dark corridor of history,
Never picked up one of your books,
No desire of reading.
Seen in movies,
Close as I came.
Tell me Shakespeare,
How do you manage,
With him,
Goofy?
How big is my floppy disk brain anyway?
Who's next?
You walked in my life,
Poetry Her-
Beautiful-
You carried the key,
Pen to write to release,
All I am in life,
And what is seen by the eyes.
Knowing,
It could be worst,
One channel of Reality Thinking,
Caught up in this world in my head,
Now I am awake!
Thank God,
I am blessed!
As I laugh,
I dare not asks what makes you tick in the poetry writing-
Here on the Soup Web,
I have a head-full already.

P.S. Having fun and letting it all grow wings and fly-
Mystery, what makes a person up to live life to the fullness?


Details | Burlesque | |

Sweatin' The Small Stuff

Don't sweat the small stuff, they say...
I see it, a different way....
Small problems easily become big,
Make you pull your hair out,
So you gotta' wear a wig!


Details | I do not know? | |

HOW OLD?

Time--it moves like a scalded cat, 
And I--I creep like a snail.
Like a long tailed cat in a lawn mower's path,
I am nearing the end of my tale.

Now, it's said that you're only as old as you feel,
And aging, they say, doesn't hurt,
But, try to believe you're as young as you feel,
When you feel like you're older than dirt.


Details | Free verse | |

Head Chef

The special today,
is Tom's Stew,
more than enough,
for all of you.
Homemade bread,
with garlic, and chives,
real butter without calories,
dripping from the sides.
Strawberry Shortcake,
heaping with cream,
fresh from scratch,
right out of a dream.
Eat all you want,
get happy, and stuffed,
take some with you,
he insist you have enough.
Open all night,
his lights always on,
place your orders,
before it is all gone.


Details | Free verse | |

To thong in public...

To wear a thong in public...
Not much chance of that...
Unless your the type...
That gets invited back...
For unlike the summer months...
What's there to show...
I myself...put it on the shelf...
As like most you know...
To thong in public...
That's a life time ago...
A little more to hide...
Even in summer time...
To wear a thong in public...
Not much chance of that...


Details | Free verse | |

The Arizona Heat ---Tagged!!!

The heat of summer makes her brain gelatin
The Arizona sun turns her into a skeleton
Time and space she does not put to waste
Really, this poet lady is one of great taste

Iced tea and lemonade in the Arizona sunlight
Create an atmosphere for her that’s just right
Ink just drying on her newly crafted poem
Always ready to rate on the pole of totem

Tall she stands with stature in poet's land
Only doing right waving her magic wand
Leading other poets to higher heights
Lovely readings are on her poetic site

Everyone should look in her poetic bag
What? Jill Martin, you are now tagged!



Comments:  Okay Jill, I was tagged by Tamiviolet Manchas.  As a result, I have to 
pass the tag along.   Your name is on the top of the list.  Your poetry is just 
wonderful!  Now, you must find a poet whose poetry you enjoy reading, and tag 
that poet with a poem.  Man, this is so much fun!  Chau!



Details | Light Poetry | |

E=mc2

Never really quite understood,
so mind boggling it's just no good,
Albert Einstein's Theory of Relativity.

E=mc2 he defined as Energy
equals Mass times twice Velocity -
but what's that to a poor wage earner like me?

Armstrong got to the moon thanks to this theory,
I don't believe it at all, it's plain trickery,
surely he was just fooling everybody.

Newton's Law of Gravity I can well understand -
you fall from a tree, you're dead and you're done;
but a hocus-pocus thing like Relativity, no way!

This Einsteinian mind game's not my cup of tea,
it's so ridiculous it could never ever be,
it just won't cut it for me.

Had ole Albert simply said that apple is purple,
orange is not a color and melon is no lemon,
life would be easier for this rotten simpleton.

Ah, might as well just stick to prose and poetry,
won't cause trouble to my mind and body,
not to mention my sanity!


Details | Rhyme | |

Surprise Accomplishment

Please leave a message after the tone…

Hey babe, I did what you told me to do, 
I did what they say I couldn’t
I did it!
And I wouldn’t take no for an answer from myself.

Breathing faster,
I put my pride and insecurities on the top shelf.
You would have been so proud.

With each keyboard stoke
 I moved closer to what had eluded me
For all those years.

And they understood me,
Do you know how good that feels?
I know this message is going to seem pretty long today.
But “Michael”, “Laura”, and “Amy”, really liked what I had to say.

It’s pretty late; I think I’ll lay down for a bit,
So when you get this call me…
I love you bye!


Details | Free verse | |

Underwear

Soft, pink satin,
Baby blue with lace.
Underwear, underwear every place.

Hot red silk
Plain white cotton
Underwear here even I had forgotten.

Black and slinky,
Is that a thong?
Underwear like that almost seems wrong.

Blue with Purple polka dots
Roses scattered over lime.
Underwear like that could never,  ever be mine!


Details | Narrative | |

Super Soupers

I love this place,
it puts a smile on my face.

Super Soupers, writing away,
making me smile, and wanting to stay.

New soupers, joining everyday,
a super place for poets to play.

Old friends, new friends,
all joining in.

We are so blessed,
this is as good as it can get.


Details | I do not know? | |

Hollywood Holocaust

Fake in this city everyone takes. Money,Greed and sin indeed a ground were 
Satan surely breeds, This generation is raised to understand that Hollywood is 
the land of promise and plan the beautiful people that see life as so very simple 
as though their way of life is America's new temple. The big homes and nice cars 
a scar of success their all better than the rest i mean really are we to worship 
fake breast.

So my name is not on some walk of fame or my life displayed on freeze frame, 
hey that's the price of fame oh you feel violated when some one sticks a camera 
in your face and you take them to court and swear you have a case.

America don't conform to some Hollywood taste its just a waste what we 
sacrifice for them so they can be some big Hollywood gem and make millions of 
dollars for them. Right now i'am going to go out on a limb, i say all Hollywood is... 
is one big toilet to piss in never should any one inspire to go to Hollywood and 
build some fairytale empire along side these chump entertainers for higher.
America we must set our standards higher put out this raging Hollywood fire the 
need for a positive influence is dire.


Details | Free verse | |

Caught in the Rain

It came with a flash upon my back
Caught off guard, suspenders hanging
Madly rushing to find a place so safe

From around the bend with a honk
“Hey watch your steps” was a shout
Horn blowing while in passing 
One disgruntled taxi driver glaring
Newspaper umbrella in ruins

Noisy rumbling above from a subway
Heading down the track, clank, clank, clank
Brown dog barking, woof, woof, looking back

Shelter at last, finally found a spot
The rain came down with a heavy shout 
Caught shirtless and without shoes
Now sipping coffee listening the blues 
Feeling brand new tasting some stew


Details | I do not know? | |

Dirty Laundry


I’ve come to believe that dirty laundry
is alive.
Just when you’re down to one batch, you turn
around and there are five.

And I also believe that laundry runs around
at night by itself.
“Cause “no one” gets it dirty, or takes it down
from the shelf.

“I don’t know where it all came from” is
what I always hear.
All those towels have a mind of their own, is
now what I fear.

There’s four kids, three adults and seven days in
the week.
How that can turn into twenty batches,..to this
question, the answer I seek.

If I’d just invested in Proctor and Gamble when
they first went on the market,
Today I’d have a Rolls Royce, along with  a 
driver to park it.

 


Details | Senryu | |

The Mighty Hulk

He is turning green…
Someone just made him real mad—
Keep the man happy!


Details | I do not know? | |

A Son, a Father and a Donkey (2005)

A young son, a father and a donkey journey across the land
The father rides upon the donkey
They walk through rain, sunshine and hot sand
A villager yells from the top of her voice
“Selfish boy, let your poor father ride, get up and stride”
So he did as he felt he had no choice
Hours past and they went to a stall for a refreshing drink
“That poor donkey carrying your weight, you should get off him don’t you think?”
Everyone in the bazaar looked and shook their head
The father got off and they both walked instead
They struggled along the sandy dusty breeze
They heard laughter coming from behind the trees
 “Fools”!It was a group of schools girls laughing as they talk
“They have a blooming donkey and those idiots still walk!”
More children gathered to join in the fun 
They paused and thought what should be done? 
By the time they thought of the solution everyone had gone
The moral of the story is you can’t please everyone 

poemsbyrb@hotmail.com


Details | Light Poetry | |

Things'll be Different

Dear God:

            In my next life I want a mother who
            loves me like she should,
            and a father who is sober,
            is that portion understood?

            And please give me a brother who
            treats me with humanity,
            and whose talents do not teeter
            on the sharp edge of insanity.

            Lord, next time, make me beautiful,
            with skin as smooth as cream,
            and eyes the hue of twilight
            and the riches of a queen.

            And, God, grant me a singing voice
            so I can rock on stage,
            and let me meet my soul mate, Lord,
            before I reach old age!

            I say, the heck with Karma,
            give me one life of pure bliss,
            where troubles never find me
            and nothing goes amiss.

            Things'll be different, next time...


©copyright2009DanielleWhite


Details | I do not know? | |

GRIN AND CURE IT

Feeling sad?  
Well that's too bad,
But why mope around in a dark blue funk?  
Don’t let life’s trouble 
Burst your bubble.  
Why waste your time on all that junk? 
                                        
Now, life might have you in the pits, 
But it's not time to call it quits. 
Don't let those dark thoughts clutter up your mind.  
Come on now, let's meditate 
On things that cheer and elevate, 
And leave the morose, gloomy things behind. 
                                                                  
A great big laugh 
On your behalf
Might drive the gloomy mist away.
And a toothy grin 
Above your chin
Could brighten someone else’s day.                               
                                                                
A chuckle might forestall
The family doctor’s call, 
And, maybe, even shoo away the nurse.
Some stuff and nonsense matter 
Could make the day go better,
And, I guarantee, it will not make it worse.   


Details | Bio | |

Pseudomorph

I get a kick outta the writes I see,
So intellectual, how can that be?
I skipped two grades,
Was forced to take IQ tests again,
Cause no one as dumb as me,
Could possibly produce such a score, you see
Got 100% on regents exams,
Passed college entrance tests
Half drunk and dirty of dress
Cause I was up with friends
drinkin' and carousing like the rest,
And, Lord knows how, but I assure,
I aced the test, and even more,
To what was then considered
"The Poor-Man's Harvard"
I cruised through that as well,
No one was gona stop this Bell

But IQ tests, and scholastic grade,
Never has one, of a man be made
I still do get confused,
About how to wear two shoes,
My brain may be book-smart,
But comin' from the heart,
I've trusted when I really shouldn't
Was skeptical when imprudent

So here's this IQ wiz,
Don't know just who he is,
And street smart as a cat,
Caught in Dr. Zeuss's hat.

So teach your children well,
don't grow up to be like Tom Bell



Details | Lyric | |

Dad

Dad is not perfect, but, a wonderful man;
He’s honored by his wife, daughter and son.

Whether a naughty girl or an angelic boy,
He’s ready to buy a gift or make a toy.

Dad is whom you want to be with,
When you’re down or you’re in need.

He is always there for you, giving hope;
And loses his temper when you’re in dope.

Dad was born, indeed, to make us laugh;
Especially, when he shares his funny stuff.

In one’s heart, he leaves his memories;
A true friend, a brother, a man of peace.

So this is what dad means to me;
Am I ready for this? Let me see.

Hmm, I’m thinking; nope, I pass.
I’m old, just 90. You boys don’t rush.



Details | Quatrain | |

Criminal Act

Okay, Okay I'm sorry
I don't know how you feel
I won't do it again
Please hear my appeal.

I never realized 
What I was doing at the time
I never realized 
That it was such a horrible crime

I  promise I won't forget
It'll never happen again
So please don't dial nine-one-one
Please don't turn me in.

I swear to you, I do, I do
That I will be more discrete
And every time I use it
I will put down the seat.


Details | I do not know? | |

Deep -Naj (2002)

A mind so deep,
A never-ending bottom,
A mountain so steep
A head that never sleeps.

Others pass words repeatedly been heard,
His words of wisdom derive from life,
And not from other people’s curd.
One story after the other as his life unfolds,
A real meaning that never ever goes cold.

Angels like you don’t belong in this heap,
I’m the wealthiest person in the world to have you,
Our love is an ocean that’s infinitively growing deep
There’s no meaning for the words sadness or feeling blue.



Details | Free verse | |

Another Day in Paradise

I slowly awaken to –
Electronic screeching of inanimate harpies;
Their piercing cry
Brutally kneads my throbbing head

How pleasant!

I grudgingly slide out of bed to meet
Frigid ceramic
Clutching my formerly contented feet,
Icing away my comfort

How nice!

As I drowsily descend the stairs into
The dungeon of culinary disgrace,
I tread on pitiless points of steel,
Unseen by my sleep-covered eyes,

How I love surprises!

I mechanically pour
Oozing bowls of lethargic meal
As it vacantly stares up at me with
Grey-faced monotony

My favorite!

As I climb into
The treacherous basin of raining displeasure,
Balance abruptly abandons me,
And I perilously plummet,
But unfailing gravity catches me

How fortunate!

I drape upon myself
Dreary rags of experience,
Faded by time’s clumsy caress;
They curtly choke my waist and chest

A wonderful fit!

I reluctantly trudge out to
My machine of unsightly shape;
It blithely mocks my meager attempts
To rouse it from its perpetual sleep

How I adore my car!

As I eventually arrive at
The bureau of laborious toil,
I hastily ready my apprehensive ears for
Another verbal thrashing

I love my job!


Details | I do not know? | |

04.05.04

After the moist attack
which lasted for several outstretched minutes,
the sun arrives, falling drunk into the street.
 
Every leaf is cupping a table-spoon
of rememberance, clinging to the high
like a boisterous blend of
 
nicotine, swilling through the paper
veins. Above the houses the clouds
retreat, a depleting formation of grey.
 
Small feet connect with cement, the sticky
rain licking rubber. The birds stalk soil,
pendulum eyed, for any attempt of escape.
 
Chimneys start to breathe again, stale air
moves through compact passages, coughing
like the man who stands
 
drenched across the road. His cotton
hair collapsed across his chalky skull,
fighting for an un-diluted breath.
 
He lights a cigarette that plays
with the honey glistening smile of the sun
picking from his skin, a tired and heavy vest.


Details | Senryu | |

the flying saucer



                                            the flying saucer
                                 missing my head by an inch
                                            did you notice it?


Details | I do not know? | |

Deaf Ears


It is funny how as  years go by,
you start to disappear.
You end up talking to yourself,
 occasionally you may get.. 
"What dear"

You can rant and rave,
cry,scream and shout.
But what is the point,
after ten minutes they say..
"What were you talking about"

I thought it was just me,
being a nag and a bore.
Being a twisty old wife,
going on more and more.

But girls it is not us,
it is them.."just you watch"
Talk about chores even yourself,
and they just simply switch off.

They do it so bravely,
seem to have it down to a fine art.
But bless them they 'are men'
without us they would just fall apart.


Details | Rhyme | |

This is Love

If I had a cookie
I’d be completely convinced
that God really loved me
in His eternal benevolence

if He granted me a cookie
I would drown it in milk
suck off all the good stuff
that goes down like pure silk

though chocolate is best
I’d take what I could find
just sate this wild craving
before I lose my bloody mind

I’ve searched high and low 
in every cabinet and nook
every hidyhole I’d forgotten
don’t know where else I can look

Alas, there is no cookie
how can life be so cruel,
but if I had a cookie,
I’d share it with you.


Details | I do not know? | |

21 St. Century

Show down.
Eye to eye,
Tears sweat from it's cheek.
Little bit of a shake in the bodily wise.
"You can't do this to me! Speak in that tone of voice!"
"Look around. They'll think you're insane!"
"Get back in line!"
Cirlcing my lens sight about,
Seeing the expression of anguish hysteria in the norm,
The air is now poisoned with agony emotions.
Who can escape?
High noon like never seen before.
"Don't come any closer!"
"Do you know who I am? 21 St. Century."
"You live in me."
"Play by the rules, be quiet, and take it like a man!"
Smiling infinity within me.
"No! Do not walk away like that!"
"You need me!"
Turn with final words of free,
"Who needs who?"
"Time. A lonely place without man. Better thank the One who keeps you in His 
Hands."
"As for me. Better things to do. Live on Earth in her humbleness."
"By the way, shut off the light before you leave. Too late! The roundabout living are 
your witnesses that it was done long ago."

(Thank you Jill Martin for your comments on "Blank Screen".  Your comments 
fired me up to write this one.)


Details | Rhyme | |

Retirement Plan

 Retirement Plan

Dr. James E. Martin
©February, 2013

Now that I’ve reached a ripe old age,
I sit on the porch and sip sweet tea.
Some may question the wisdom in this,
My response is simply, “It works for me!”

Jealousy is undoubtedly fostered in some,
For that matter anger may surely arise.
I simply continue in my well designed plan
And know that many my life they despise.




Details | Rhyme | |

Naughty Sex Talk

Naughty Sex talk

Women will whisper
Pretend they don’t care
Chat about perfume
Or talk about hair
Why is it secret
Hush, hush don’t say
When every ten seconds
In every man’s brain
Frank daydreams of sex
Render
Women insane


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Mistake

'Love is patient'
'Love is kind'
The thought of love
Can turn you blind.

But... Now we must
Take some steps
To verify those
Deep regrets.

The first problem you see
Was that. . .
He lied about
You being fat

That in turn 
Led ya to
Beleiving that
He 'accepted' you.

Mirrors were made
For a darn good reason
And thinking you are nothing special
Is high, high treason...

But no!
He's perfect
And no! He's kind
Seriouslly sister
You've lost your mind.

The recipe to love Is that
You have to love your self.
It's not about your facial features
Or the size of ya belt.

The man should be a rock to lean on
And not! A heartless swine.
So please next time. Do pick him wisely
Make sure he has a spine!


Details | Quatrain | |

Ain't Retirement Grand

I wake up at 5:30 most mornings
Before the sun has a chance to rise
Head for the bathroom as fast as I can
To get rid of yesterday's Mai Tai

I let out a great big sigh of relief
As I wipe the gunk from my peepers
Stand in front of a full length mirror
Like Tarzan, in my trap door sleepers 

I sure am ruggedly handsome, methinks
Could even grace the cover of GQ
That's if they publish a special edition
For overweight, balding yahoos

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself
I've still got a surprise up my sleeve
Like running a mile in two hours flat
Quite a feat for old guys to achieve

Now here's a lesson, so listen up good
To this fatherly advice that I share
Take care of yourself or you'll wind up
As a old guy without any hair

©Jack Ellison 2012


Details | Free verse | |

AFFAIR

      AFFAIR

You belong to her I belong to him 
what a tragedy it had to end up this way
an affair I can no longer have, its been 10 years
Since she took your love away from me. 
when your so called wife found out about me
far she moved you from the lights of me
never to see you again 
I ended up with some one to save up all the tears.
with this man I live so unhappy
I compare my life to a drunk with out having to drink of a beer.
This man of beauty by my side
Compares nothing like our affair ride
A man of my taste again I can never find.
I settled for a man who broke my heart so many times.
Only because I can not ever be with you. 
I stay stuck with someone who I do not love at all.
An enemy he made me
Why can't we be friends like me and you
In this life time if I ever get to see you 
I want one last romance.
no man has ever made me feel the lust I had for you.
2 years we shared a secret love, how can I get over that
You are the only man I could feel all up inside of me
when you touched me with a stroke of your hands.
with out a lie I say the truth the man I have 
becomes you when we make love in bed
I close my eyes and pretend it is you in my head.


To: my husband who is across the room from me.
     I am telling him to play a song over and over.
     he does not realize he is taking me back to memory lane
     HA HA HA in your face.. S.K.A.T.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

To Hurt To Say,But I'm Sorry

To Hurt to say,But I'm sorry.





Do you know how much it hurt.To see you disappear from a memories I have yet recalled.Your heart so ice cold there's nothing I can do for it.
Let me touch your chest and feel the breeze that escapes from if.
Did you know that with ever king there are rebels who dares chain him down.
Everyone person can life is determined by they way the express themselves.
And anyone can forge a fake life to get away and hide from their reality.
I'm going to be you reality has my hand reaches your face let me show you what it means to be hit by reality and take it seriously.Hopeless,Agony,Fear,Terrified, Corrupted.
I haven't had enough of your ego,of your smile,the lies that surround you.
Ha! let me see you fall and crawl don't beg it unsightly but crawl for you are the man the  shadow man.
Cling to me as i show you the grief and fear and anger I have of losing you,the only thing connecting me to you is the blood I waste on the ground in the night time wake.
Watch it fall as I cut deeper.How many times did I cry for you and you never even cared enough to answer me? 
Your faceless,heartless,cold eyes let me thank you.
Your turning my to stone your helping me write these disgusting feeling down every night.
You gave me something so powerful not even you could destroy them now these hands of course.
As I drink this  to ease my pain and free my self of this relapsing phase.Let me be happy let me be sad let me mad let me become depressed for I'm so bipolar it hurts.
How dare you trampled my pride and toss me around like a lifeless doll...Was I really your luggage you tried to throw away?
Be honest lies don't work no more for I've see everything everyone as danger has liar beggar and theive coming after me.Thank you for being my venom.
I'm sorry if I hurt you I never meant to.
Would you forgive me if I laid down to rest and not wake up again?
Please tell me.I can't help but feel like something useless in this wild game of tag and empty felt.It hurts you should know,So don't take to much time and tell me how you feel.
At least then I can dance with you.


Details | Couplet | |

Living the Dream

My nightmare is so tangible...so vividly I dream,
The dream, it feels so true to me...reality it seems.

Exhaust and smoke are all I breathe...the air is full of smog...
The job I do is thankless toil, but I work it like a dog.

There's mercury in the fish I eat...there're toxins in my food...
And drugs, they are a constant scourge...myriads for every mood.

Bipolar is my government...a house divided 'tis...
And corporations drive both sides...in the pockets of "Big Biz".

The icecaps, they are melting...the sea is rising, too.
Pandas, condors, polar bears -- empty cages at the zoo.

My money ne'er seems quite enough...I'm always out of cash...
My freedom fled when I wed my bride...(live I under the lash).

"Entertainment"? Reality TV...maybe some vampire shows...
Or idjits becoming household names for being beachfront "ho's".

People clamor "climate change" from the seats of S.U.V.'s,
And bitter news on the honey front...what's killing all the bees?

Politicians spending more...we go deeper in the red.
Opinions dressed as "news" abound...is journalism dead?

Cell phones are ubiquitous...conversation's endangered now...
And "Kardashians" are famous girls..but who knows why or how?

How strange my twisted psyche is t'make real what must be fake...
Now'f only I could find some way to get myself to wake.


Written on November 27th, 2012
By Daniel Beus (Rebel Sun)


Details | Free verse | |

Bladder Problems in Class

Numbers on 
White board…names written hori-
zontally

Students ask
To go pee…right when class starts – 
THAT’S just wrong…

Bathroom line
Of students who have bladder
Problems – WOW!

People are
Not using lunchtime to do 
Their business 

No one knows
When to do their duties – SER-
IOUSLY?


Details | Acrostic | |

Cookies

Cookies are addictive!
OoOoH! Here's one to snatch!
Okay...where's the chocolate chips?
Kraving too many of these treats
I want some now! But...I might get beeefy...
Every bite is mouthwatering, soft and crisp
Should I take another cookie?


Details | List | |

I love

I love your soft kisses.I love firm but gentle touch.  I love the way you bite your lip.I love you soooooo much.
 I love the way you look at me.I love the way you smile.  I love the way you're shy sometimes,Every once and a while.
 I love it when you look at me, When I'm not looking at you.  You think I do not realize it, But really...I do.
 I love the way you cuddle. I love the way you sleep.  I love how you bite your lip when something turns you on. I love the way you rub your neck,when you are thinking so deep.
I love all of you,Your nose, your lips, your hair, even your smelly feet.  I love how you drink Dr Pepper. Morning noon and night.  I love how if someone puts me down your always there first one there ready to fight.  I will never stop loving you. You are so amazingly sweet.
 I love that I love you.I have loved you from the very start.  I LOVE ALL OF YOU,You alone hold the key to my heart.


Details | Light Poetry | |

I'm Thristy

Clouds burst
   Crops thirst


Details | Sonnet | |

Gambling Shuggy—The Encounter!

"If I feel physically,
            as if the top of my head been taken off, 
                     I know it's poetry."
                       --Emily Dickenson

          ~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~

No money no honey from this honey
You may look but won’t rub this fine tummy;
That maybe so, but I ain’t no dummy
Shining like gold—don’t you touch this Emmy!

Pay gone, drunk, smoky, come acting thuggy,
Don’t treat me like an Egyptian mummy;
You have nerves to tell me I look yummy
Step back—know that I will not be chummy!

Say what, you will find another bunny?
Git, to your saloon playing gin rummy;
Tonight I’m keeping safe my sweet plumy
Leave—before I pull my New York Jimmy!

Swiftly, before doorknob hit your bunny,
Shuggy—I ain’t got time tonight bummy!

© Joseph, November 28, 2008
© All Rights Reserved

~~~~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Soup International Poetry Contest
Semi-finalist Selection, Jan. 2009.
~~~~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Soup Weekly Featured Poem 
Sunday, May 24, 2009, to May 31, 2009
~~~~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~~~~

Joseph S. Spence, Sr., is the author of "The Awakened One Poetics" (2009), which is 
published in seven different languages. He invented the Epulaeryu poetry form, which 
focuses on succulent cuisines and drinks. He is published in various forums, including the 
World Haiku Association; Poetinis Druskininku, Milwaukee Area College, Phoenix Magazine; 
Möbius Poetry, and Taj Mahal Review to name a few. Joseph is a Goodwill Ambassador for 
the state of Arkansas, USA, a college faculty, and a military veteran.

~~~~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~~~~


Details | Burlesque | |

Redneck FATHER'S DAY------

***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***



"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 woo-hoo!
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 wha'th'a?
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 shoot! 
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ya'here?
 besides...
 ta'days father's day!" 



© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire

   










Details | Verse | |

Bankrupcy

Room painted... Slipcovers... Bankrupcy
Ellip form.. Ellipical means placing decimal or period to note that it is not a finished line or thought?..


Details | Concrete | |

In Silence Eat Chocolate Cake

Lonely and in silence I eat chocolate cake When I arise my dessert walks behind in ripple shake
Sponsor: Black Eyed Susan Contest: 1 rhyming couplet or 1 rhyming triplet


Details | Epitaph | |

Finally Pickled

Here lies a fickle mind: Death finally decided for her **for Andrea's Poetic Epitaph contest :) haha! I Just HAD to enter this because I am Soo fickle minded, I have so many lines which I want to enter here, I am going to be conceited and pretend I have a lot to choose from ^_~ I can't choose one Unique Line, so NP (as in No Problem! hahaha!) anyways, I find this unique in a sense that I thought of this line in seconds, just *boom* like that when I saw Andrea's blog about epitaphs, I hadn't even thought of entering this initially, but I just Loved it so much ^_^


Details | Sonnet | |

Pest Control --- Goodbye

Goodbye, farewell, adieu, please go away,
this house is mine. I will not share with you.
You see my cabinets as a buffet,
pay no rent, and use the floor as your loo.

You fail miserably as a roommate,
and I’ll be more than glad to see you gone.
Sinisterly gleeful about your fate,
I’m anxious for the curtains to be drawn.

No more ceaseless chattering though the night,
nor any more wires cleaved by rodent teeth.
I won’t fret on small eyes reflecting light,
or creatures hiding in my Christmas wreath.

Escape, or, if you prefer, you can die.
I don’t care which, as long as it’s Goodbye!


Details | Free verse | |

I am sitting inside my smart TV set with my wireless remote control

I am sitting inside my smart TV set 
with my wireless remote control 
and I can’t seem to get my wireless remote control 
to work for me
can someone out there 
please keep on  changing the channels for me 
to something else


Details | Rhyme | |

I Watch My Figure, Getting Bigger

Every morning is the same,
Standing staring at my frame,
Looks no different from last night,
Flab is still winning the fight,

Scales hate me, sure they lie,
I only ate a small stir-fry,
Willpower waning every day,
Diet falls into disarray,

The healthier I make my meals,
The emptier my tummy feels,
Salad and a few small snacks,
Hot chocolate to help me relax,

For every hour I ride my bike
My body goes on hunger strike,
But when I'm home and my legs ache,
I comfort eat with chocolate cake,

One week on, the scales astound,
I've finally lost another pound!
Although I'm watching what I eat,
I'm sure that that deserves a treat.


Details | Free verse | |

- Is It Fair -



           I have heard: Women burn fat almost 10% slower than men
           It's does not feel justified
           I have heard: Women live on average 3 years longer than men
           Women have a better durability date (used before: .. - ... - .....)
           Men: (must be used within: .. - .. - ....)
           Why is it only women who are thinking about calories and diets
           I bake delicious cakes .... that can only be eaten by my husband
           ..... I think I'll try one more piece :)



12.04.2013
A-L  Andresen :)


Details | Lyric | |

My Sheep (Parody of the Beatles' "She Loves You")

My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa, Baa, Baa”

Farm country’s quite a place
Greener space and friendly smiles
My sheepdog likes to chase
Grazing flocks out here for miles

You know without sheep,
Don’t ya know I would be sad
Yeah without sheep,
I would go stark raving mad 

My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
And with a woolly friend, your life is never bad

They call me Miss BoPeep
I guess it’s sorta fair
Because my spoiled sheep
Get tender loving care

You know without sheep,
Don’t ya know I would be sad
Yeah without sheep,
I would go stark raving mad, ooh!

My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
And with a woolly friend, your life is never bad

So you can spread the word
My stock stick waives with pride
Noisy faithful herds
Are always by my side

You know without sheep,
Don’t ya know I would be sad
Yeah without sheep,
I would go stark raving mad, ooh!

My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
My sheep go “Baa, Baa, Baa”
And with a woolly friend, your life is never bad
With a woolly friend, your life is never bad
With a woolly friend, your life is never...
Bad!
"Baa, Baa, Baa"
"Baa, Baa, Baa, Baaaaaa"


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Half-a-Life

.         Half-a-Life

Approaching the first sign of hell. 
An instrument of the baby tell.
I receive the blood in a Limbo womb .
An embryo conceived from a cell.
A set life waiting to bloom.
9 months to be stuck inside of a shell.
The first pain of labor revels my doom.
I exit  to another Half Life to roam and dwell.
I vanished all excitement  in the waiting room.
Abused in my first moment, just to here me yell.
My lungs full of life entering my second tomb.
Yelling my guts to an evil smell.
The smell of entering the Gates of Hell.

By:P.D.


Details | Haiku | |

Playing Peek A Boo {Edit}

<                             coniferous tree
                       playing peek a boo .... shuffle                                
                              candid smiles glisten


{ Christmas }






Entry For
Deborah Guzzi's
Holiday Haiku Contest
G.L. All


Details | Senryu | |

our grandson

our grandson goes off to college to study... wild life management
Click on "About This Poem"


Details | Narrative | |

A Quiet Exit

A Quiet Exit


Poetry is disciplined

However, sometimes at the executive table
when a situation is not going according to plans
It's better to excuse yourself because of evil man

however, before leaving, relief a quiet fart
then make the exit,  gracefully glance
 over your  shoulder and smile
watch and observed who sense your present.

Ladies and Gentlemen have a wonderful day!


Details | Burlesque | |

Rice and Beans

I do not want to eat rice and beans any more
I want a new meal
I'm ready to throw this pot out the door
I'm sure I've  had my fill
Rice and beans is my poor folks food
You know when you barely have money
After four days it taste like it's already been chewed
But you smile and eat it like it's sweet honey
I wish I had a grilled burger smothered in cheese with fries on the side
Or a roasted turkey with cornbread stuffing and a side of apple pie
But instead I dread I have rice and beans to keep me fed
through the week
Black beans, red beans, pinto beans I will cook until my house starts to reek!
No more beans! No more rice! 
I need more money to buy something nice
One day I will have my steak and potatoes and my mac and cheese
But until then, no more rice and beans please!


Details | ABC | |

My Father's cleats

 It’s funny how my father’s hobby became mine. He has been a sportsman all his life, he played basketball, volleyball and softball all his youth, but his real passion is soccer and even though he is 55 years old now, he still keeps playing it and loving it. He has had all kinds of cleats, all brands, all colors, different styles, but it does not change anything, he still plays amazing. But one thing I do find hilarious is that every time he comes from a game, he cleans his cleats, he washes them and takes them with such an unbelievable affection, that I’m beginning to think that he might love them more than he loves me, but now I do know the feeling of a new shiny, hard and beautiful pair of cleats. I still recall when he took me for my very first pair, I could not believe he was doing it for me, I was so excited, but now I realize that what I was excited about is that I could be like my father for just a moment when I had them on. Ever since I was little, I remember my daddy playing soccer, leaving home all dressed up, ready to fight, and win the ball to make a remarkable roll on the field. The playing field that we both love, the field all covered in grass, all green, so delicious and soft, so colorful… being crashed by everyone’s cleats and the rolling ball, feeling the sunlight on our skin, and the wind on our faces. Having a team, an extra family with whom we could find support and create new ideas, new plays so we could smash the opponent. So yes, I loved watching him play and cheering him up more than I could ever like watching official and famous soccer teams. I do find funny the fact that my father’s hobby became mine since everyone says we’re too similar, and even though he also has a son, his daughter is with whom he shares that connection. I love the fact that our simple relationship was started thanks to such a manly sport, and curiously, to transform me into such a girly girl.


Details | Free verse | |

Computer Chair Woes: A Collaboration with Chris :D Aechtner

How do people do it?
For that matter, how do I pull it off?
Sitting in front of the computer for so many hours,
body compressed into a computer chair.
Feel a whole decade older than I actually am-
aching bones,
stiff joints,
sore muscles.
Eyes all dried out
as I get up from the chair
with a cramped neck,
my back temporarily doubled over
until my muscles warm up and loosen a little.

Tired, I slink back into my err-NO-Go-meek (ergonomic?!) chair
I check my butt...wiggle a bit...
Damn. Still spacious?? I want to feel SNUG!
So I sink my teeth into 4 inches of
Chunky Hunky Mega Chocolate Cocoa Cuckoo Overload Bar
Mmmm, this will go straight to my ass...

...there, it finally happened....officially lodged into the computer chair-
knew better than to eat so much chocolate while sitting for hours.
Too embarrassed to call an emergency crew,
I will have to wheel around the house, stuck in this chair,
until enough calories have burned away,
enabling me to dislodge these chocolaty buttocks
and taste some upright, biped freedom again.

Figured I could start losing those calories
by going on a mouse clicking frenzy
Flexing my pointer finger, I start clicking away
Click....click...click...'til a tic in my eye develops
Yup, don't care what I'm clicking on,
as long as that staccato beat resonates in my ears...
fingertips sweating, I go into a trance-

fall asleep at the keyboard,
image of the screen imprinted on my retinas,
dreaming about clicking the mouse.
Fast clicks, slow clicks, double and triple-clicks!
Many hours afterwards, 
the sound is still trapped in my brain,
slowly driving me completely insane-
*click*  *click, click*  *clickety-click*

How do people do it?
For that matter, how do I pull it off?
Sitting in front of the computer for hours on end...
My good ol' mouse answered that for me
It rolled over my arm,
massaged me on my back and shoulders,
taking out the knots in the process
and headed straight to my butt, just wedged itself in, snuggled there
*click!* *click* *Clickety-clickkk!*
my butt cheeks were now doing the clicking
This is beyond me, never knew I could do that!
Pain shoots up my thighs--going higher
Uggh. Butt cramps!
Shaking my head, I reach for the mouse,
instead, my fingers touch something soft, sticky...brown
Ah, yes!
My butt is glued to my chair with             chocolate.


             *click!*




07302011

-- well I sure enjoyed writing this one with Chris ;) 


Details | Senryu | |

Itty-Bitty-Worry-Wart

I often worry
that I will run out of things
to worry about...


Details | Limerick | |

Slammin' Slammers

C'mon all you slammers, take your best shot
I'll tell ya' once more (In case you forgot)
Already kissed the canvas
Had my ass kicked to Kansas
You kiddin', that's it? Is THAT all you got?


Details | Cinquain | |

Up and Down We Go

Travel
Does not change theme
Up and down, we go far
Coming back from where we began
Need Map


©Holly P. Moore
   December 2012


Details | Senryu | |

The time flies - and I fly with it


                                                My mirror
                                 it shows me a middle-aged lady
                                                Who is it?




07.12.2012
A-L  Andresen :)


Details | Free verse | |

My First Grey Hair

Written by Gail DeBole

I dyed it.
The dye did not take.

So I pulled it out.

Then I climbed to the highest building and shoved it off.
It boomeranged when it hit the ground and came back to me.

Then I tried to bury it so deep within the ground that
I only succeeded in tunneling to the other side of the world.
And it was still with me.

I threw it off into the sunset.
The moon's shine threw it back at me.

I folded it umpteen times and paper clipped it to 
Last week's newspaper for recycling.
It was recycled back to me.

I hung it in a facade of suicide.
It slipped through the noose.

I stamped on it.
Beat at it.
Did everything besides forget about it.
And hated it passionately.

And then one day, it had gone.
Of its own will, not mine.
And I could not find it though I searched high and low.
I surveyed the front of my scalp and back
And stared my victory down into the mirror...

A whole head of grey.


Details | Free verse | |

Ridiculous Me

Watch this scene with both eyes and try not to blink C: --> 

I stood there... silently
Like a predator near prey 
I sneak behind YOU

You weren't even aware of it!! Ha-ha! 

I made YOU jump hIgH
Like a startled hare
I chuckle and smile

You know that mischievous smile of mine? 

Your reaction was
PRICELESS - you were so upset
But YOU forgave me

Well...I'm flattered. . . 

We laugh'd together (just like the good times)
In a chorus - our volume
Picked up extreme sound

Believe me - I could hear our laughter from a mile away!

But I'm glad I did
My best to make you giggle

Ridiculous me... 
Wouldn't you agree?


Details | Blank verse | |

A bit of fun

A bit of fun
There is a man crying
In a AA van on the edge of town  
I think he is heading for a
Breakdown 


Details | Free verse | |

When I Was Going To Pee

If I were a boy - I would be a son
If I were a boy - I would not use a pink dummy
If I were a boy - I would be a brother
If I were a boy - I would not wear ribbon in my hair
If I were a boy - I would have been a young man
If I were a boy - I would not walk with high heels
If I were a boy - I would be a lovely man
If I were a boy - I would find me a wife
If I were a boy - I would drop housework
If I were a boy - I would have been a husband
If I were a boy - I would have had ten children
If I were a boy - I would be a father to my children
If I were a boy - I would read fairy tales in bed for all my ten children
If I were a boy - I would be the grandfather of my grandchildren
If I were a boy - I would sit in a rocking chair smoking my pipe

The best thing about being a boy would probably be
that I do not have to pull down my pants when I am going to pee.










05.03.2012
A-L Andresen


Details | Free verse | |

Love is like a Hoagie Sandwich

He told me love was like a hoagie sandwich
He said, “You start with the bread.
It has to be the perfect bread because it is you and it is what you know you like
You add some mayonnaise and some mustard 
You know you want that
Then you try a little ham
By itself it is good but something seems to be missing
You try a little cheese and that adds a little spunk
Then you decide that maybe this is just not exactly the sandwich you want
You like it but you are not in love with it
So you try something new
This time you add a little turkey, just for fun 
Maybe some roast beef, strong and stable
Oh, and a few jalapeno’s for spice
You decide you need something bold so you add some pepperoni
More cheese because you still enjoy the mellow type
You really want perfect balance
Top it off with an extra large helping of the bread you crave
And you find that this sandwich is perfect for you
Then you realize that you can’t truly enjoy it 
You want the perfect someone to share it with
So...You have to find someone that enjoys the same things as you
Then you offer them the chance to partake in this wonderful sandwich 
Freely sharing the life you have created
If they are inclined they partake and you share in the magic
Of all the love you added into it
For yourself and for them

Life, friendship, spice, spunk, laughter, balance
And the other half (a partner to share it with)
Not too much or you end up with a party sub
Just a perfect Hoagie sandwich”

Yes, words of wisdom in disguise

My best friend taught me 
Not to take life or love too seriously
To share it with the ones we trust and love
To put in it what you want out of it
To live, laugh, love and make beautiful memories
And to enjoy every bite! 


Copyright © 2009   Lena “Lolita” Townsend


Details | Rhyme | |

Shakespeare Doesn't Like Your Emo Poems

I had a cat name snowball
she died!
she died!

my mom said she was at the vet
she lied!
she lied!

....

Just Kidding!


Oh no!
Look at this joe
Face on the desk cause he's writing so low
Lifted his head and what did I see:

Oh wah! wah! wah!
Mommy didn't love me!

Saw another girl and her mouth was so cringe
Seem like the pen in her hand wasn't able to unhinge
and I walk passed her and saw some or her words:

life is so lonely
I want to blow some coke
father doesn't know me
people think i'm a joke

Holy ghost and holy spirit!
Why are people so sad?
I thought the guy was A.D.D ing
And the chick was on her rag

I understand that life ain't full of win
But just loathing in it is as bad as a sin!

Cutt-ing yourself
Drink-ing to death
Bin-ging on drugs

So you could feel that "close"
That out of body experience where you leave that "ghost"

Grabb-ing a pen
leave-ing a note
Commit-ing a suicide

If I read more of this depressing stuff I think I will cry!

Listen love
go and feel pain
So your girlfriend dumped you
Then go to the strip club and make it rain!

Uh-oh girl
just lost your job
so now your broke
So go out and shake your ass for some handsome bloke!

I understand if you
get upset
have regret
and want your life to be pushed for reset

but when you go through that you
grow up more
see to explore
find out that you could high again sore!

So write me a love poem with no break up
Write me a story of that one day of endless luck
Give me a riddle where the cow goes mooo
That's right be silly!
Shakespeare doesn't like your emo poems!
I wouldn't too!






ps: hey guys! it's late! and the later it gets the weirder i get!(well it's 3am for me, 
idk what time it is for y'all) :D
anywho we all have written our share of emo poems ( i know i have!
heck i still do!) I just couldn't help myself to write this, especially since 
my motivation was a shirt i saw that actually said "Shakespeare doesn't
like your emo poems." ( with picture of Will annoyed as heck XD)
...
no not Will Smith :p


Details | Burlesque | |

The Impatient Patient

Today's true tom tale;

Today was Dr. day at the clinic
I ended up the day quite a cynic
I'd been awake three days,
With a toothache and pain that slays
My jagged teeth cutting up my tongue
And the promise of help to which I clung
For no more of this pain could I endure,
I desperately did seek some kind of cure

Appointment at 2:15- told the taxi 1:30
I knew the fib was a tad dirty...
"Hedge the bet" one might say,
Sad to think one must be that way,
Of course in this case he showed up at 1PM
And I was in the waiting room at 1:15
Fastest response I'd ever seen.

So I sat in the waiting room as
Clerical shifts came and went
My patience seemed nearly spent

At last I was escorted to an examining room,
To sit and ponder my future doom...
For over an hour I sat there,
Reading all the posters on the wall,
About various diseases,
Soon I had them all!
Cervical cancer,
Malignant volvulus,
Infected ovaries,
Fibroid tumors in my uterus,
A glumaceous gluteus,
Obstructed bowels,
Deviated septum
Leukemia,
Anemia, edemia
Enlarged prostate,
Shrunken prostate
Eczema, Lupus
Leprosy.....
All these for me!

I hoped he didn't keep me 
waiting too much longer,
Surely I wasn't getting stronger....
I'd be dead in ten more afflictions
If he could not cure all these conditions.

I felt my life force start to fade
Look at what these posters made!
Surely life was slipping away,
I couldn't stand,
I began to sway.

In he finally came,
Suddenly I did not feel
the same,
I might survive the day after all,
My approaching death grew
rather small.

Next time, bring a book,
For in terms of time,
It hardly took,
Much time to catch
All these ills,
Or at least come in,
With made out wills.


Details | Limerick | |

Her Voice Say

.
               

                     When tired from sweeping with the storebought broom
                                  I'd lean against not wanting to resume
                                       Momma said, "Nusing your bab?"
                                     I would sweep, under breath crab
                        Now would love to hear her say,  "Clean your room!"






(Momma would say nusing not nursing..Bab is instead of baby..)


Details | List | |

Rules in the eyes of a toddler

If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed, stepped on or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, must make her dirty
If it is sibling, must slap,kick,and fight.
If it has four legs, must squeeze tight until makes noise
If big person is on phone, must make lots of noise
If tv is not on cartoons, scream until they are
If food is not good, throw it, refuse to eat it and cry until big people give you something good


Details | I do not know? | |

The Princess I Am

I deserve to be loved
And cared for
I need to be needed
And long to be adored
This is so hard
Why can't I find
A decent man who 
Can make up his mind
A trustworthy man
Where can he be
A lover and a friend 
To want only me
I'm not asking for too much
Why can't men understand
I just want to be treated
Like the princess I am


Details | Dodoitsu | |

Back Up Plan

He declared his love for her 

But kept his secret secured

The other girl he endured

     just for insurance


Details | Free verse | |

A Mouse's Short Life

My mouse just sat there_not beaming
It would not make the pointer move
I tried to resuscitate
But its power was waning
Batteries would not rejuvenate
Its brain was loose in the USB port
Well, all things go at some time
I was going to bury him but my grandson took him
He came alive again just what he wanted...
I now have a new mouse
Who is lively and excited about being held by me
I am excited to hold him too......... 


Details | Limerick | |

Black Friday

<                     ladies ~ gentlemen ~ start those ...... engines
                         miss  ~ Ho ~ down - prices .... would be a sin
                                        best buy - circuit city
                                   black ~ friday .... how pitty
                        5 am ~ now ~ who ~ wears ~ smiling ... grins 





                          k- mart ~ wal - mart ~ target ~ pennys
                              red tag sales of many and plenty
                                 but you must buy in bulks
                        and ~  get ~ guy ~ like ~ the ... hulk
                to ~ push ~ cart ~ while ~ you ~ chat ~ with ... jenny




                         let's ~ all ~  hop ~ on ~ over ~ to ~ I - hop
                         your one stop for christmas breakfast slop
                                sure pancakes sounds yummy
                                     but wait till hits tummy 
                                 be sitting on stool till it plops




Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Commericialized Holiday Humor Contest
Gl All And Happy Holidays
Love Kathy & Jenny


Details | Couplet | |

Smiles

Today I feel a little goofy
Hair wild and is all poofy

I made oatmeal it is so sloppy
Have to drink it with my coffee

Can not walk as my feet are going flip floppy
No swimming either the water is to choppy

Ding dong no nothings wrong
My clock just went bing bong

If this poem to your face brought a smile
Or maybe you just laughed for awhile

Then please know that I am happy as well
As I am locked back up in my padded cell


Details | Limerick | |

Aries

There once was a proud Aries like me,
whose impatience kept from being free.
But all my pride inside
never had the chance to hide
the goal of winning confidently!


Details | Rhyme | |

My Valentine

I knew I was in danger 
The day our wedding was
When the preacher asked do you take this woman
You answered He does
We've had a long long marriage and I hope it doesn't end
But you should have married Obama 
Because you both know how to spend
The police stopped me in another city 
Are you lost they wanted to know
I told them no, i'm married
My wife tells me where to go
I took off my ring because 
You'll never let me be
I was perfect until I put it on 
Then you found a thousand faults with me
You were a pain in the house 
But I thought that it would pass
Then I stood with you out into the yard
And you were a pain in the grass
You wanted a gift with a message
For our twentieth anniversary
So I bought you a set of luggage
What more could you want from me
The lobotomy made me happy
And I'm still glad you're mine
So, on this day of love
Will you be my Valentine
I know that you don't like my poem
But it was all in fun
So won't you be my Valentine
And put down that freakin' gun.


Details | Pastoral | |

Quip's IV At The Rapture

I was searching for my EX-Girlfriend for three(03) day's.  She just disappeared in to thin air in the blink of an eye..... I searched high and low. Everything was not left in place as usual.

Then, A couple of my friend's told me that she was caught-up, in the RAPTURE. Boy, you could imagine my dismay......

It turned out that I was wrong....Yes, she was caught-up in the RAPTURE... Only, it turned out to be, not the "Rapture" the "Rapture", But, Rapture The Nite CLUB!....AND she was caught in a police DRUG raid as part of an independent  investigation!....

She had been in jail for three(03) more day's. Turn's out that she did not need an
Absolution...She needed a drink and another lawyer...

******The Moral to this story is********

Things' are not always' what they seem! Always' get your story straight! Or else,
you will be caught at the "Rapture" too......

                             GF

  *****Note:*******

     And on the seventh (07th) day, she did rest.........


Details | Diminished Hexaverse | |

My Mechanic's Receptionist

The divine swell of
Her heaving breasts
Soothes the pain
Of large
Bills.


Details | Rhyme | |

Keep It Turnin' to the Right

Oklahoma cowboy, tough coal miner’s son
Born in Henryetta, south of Tulsa some
Raised by daddy’s momma, taught him wrong from right
Daddy taught him ropin’, taught him how to fight
 
Herding made no money, its stock was really down
Mamaw feeling poorly, dad mining at Old Town
Seventeenth of December, in the year of twenty-nine
Dad was shoring timber, 9th west entry of the mine
 
The gas ignited close to him, he never smelt its breath
It belched fire and thunder, and everlasting death
Sixty-one they counted, who wouldn’t see the sun
Twenty-five weren't recognized, they buried them as one
 
On that fatal Tuesday, the boy became a man
Had to make a living, had to have a plan
Heard about the oil patch, got a chance to try it
Drill the earth for all she’s worth; just keep it turnin' to the right

Some they called him weevil, some they called him worm
Some they wouldn't speak to him, figgered he was just short term
They told him "Open up that vee door; go to get the key
It's in the possum belly, in doghouse number three"

Took his turns at floor hand, at first a little green
Became the fastest broke out hand the driller ever seen
Morning tour, evening tour, working day and night
Drilled the earth for all she's worth, kept it turnin' to the right

The driller called him partner; the pusher called him son
The other roughnecks shook his hand, and took him in as one
Got up on the monkeyboard; learned to spin the chain
Pumped that mud and shed his blood, and worked right through the pain

On a bitter frosty evening tour, in a cold December snow
He saw derricks lit like Christmas trees in the distance far below
He saw the fairyland of the refinery, shining through the night
He saw Mother Earth and the universe, all turning to the right

He got a job as driller, to West Texas he would go
A boomtown named McCamey, southwest of Angelo
Hired a shack from Pansy, put money in the bank
Drove his pickup out of town, seen the million barrel tank

The oil patch was a hard life, moving all the time
But he saved a lot of money, didn't waste a dime
Morning tour, evening tour, working day and night
Drilled the earth for all she's worth, kept it turnin' to the right

Sent his kids to college, working through the years
One became a teacher, the others engineers
He hung up his hardhat; he shed his steel-toed shoes
Then one day he passed away; he'd finally paid his dues

Made it to the Pearly Gates; they handed him his wings
Handed 'em right back to them; said "I don't need these things.
I want to do some drilling. That's my heavenly plan."
They said "Go talk to the Devil then, cause he's the company man."

Old Scratch needed hellfire; he always come up short
Too many bankers and lawyers and others of that sort
When he heard they had a driller, he jumped up with delight
He danced a jig, "You've got your rig. Keep it turnin' to the right."

Now he drills for hellfire; in the derrick he's got Jake
Buck and Sam on the platform; Sonny's on the brake
They all grin like demons; they're all where they belong
Doing what they love to do, they sing their roughneck song

"We all eat caliche and sniff the devil's brew
Play dominos with Satan and whip him at forty-two
Work all day on Sunday and honky-tonk all night
We're oilfield trash and we'll take cash to keep it turnin' to the right

We all love West Texas; it's like the Promised Land
Horny toads and rocky roads, and even dunes of sand
Dust storms every morning, northers every night
We get tans and freeze our cans to keep it turnin' to the right"

The lingo used around the rig you won't hear much in church
It'll curl your hair and make you stare and leave you in the lurch
So close your eyes and realize it's gonna get much worse
Drink your beers and plug your ears; here comes the final verse

"We p*ss longneck Lone Stars; we f*rt Frito pie
Give us ****, and we will spit some Red Man in your eye
Don't **** with us, or we will cuss and bring you to the fight
We're low class, but we kick *** to keep it turning to the right"


Click "About this poem" above the title to see the notes.


Details | Limerick | |

Beers and Tears

Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer

Edward J Ebbs
Limerick Contest - I am not a beer drinker :-)


Details | Haiku | |

Nudist Stoner



Those in glass houses shall never throw stones or run naked at daytime
*I must give thanks to my friend B.B. for inspiring me to provide you with the PG description of his depravities


Details | Rhyme | |

4:20, Four- Twenty, The Earth Day Birthday

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Limerick | |

Deal Or No Deal

<                             Once was a gal shopped all garage sales
                               Nuts ~ bolts ~ screws ~  all found in one big pail
                               Husband said had nice rack
                               Wife turns ~ gives him.... good smack
                               Loaded - buckshot - and - boy - did - he .... wail 



Written by
Katherine Stella 
9/8/2012                              
                             
Entry For
Skat's
A Poets Garage Sale
GL ALL


Details | Lyric | |

Country Boy, City Slicker On CD

Well, I moved into town to live like a city slicker,
Loaded my truck, found a place, and here I am,
Though a country boy has a head a bit thicker,
City life is not so hard to understand,

And I've been learnin' how to use a computor,
How to do some picture takin' with a cell phone,
How to get insurance for my truck and motor scooter,
But city life is nothing like back home,

Because where I come from, they call it the boonies,
Dirt roads, back woods, life as country as can be,
Though now I'm mixed in with all the town loonies,
They'll never take the country out of me,

Yea, I can still plant me a nice little garden,
Though not nearly as big as it use to be,
And still listen to country music, Dolly Parton,
She's on my coffee mug for all to see,

And I still get to do some dear huntin'
For those split tails runnin' 'round here,
And I make sure to keep my truck tuned and runnin'
By way of Auto Zone, or I'd run out of beer,

Yea, I livin' in the hood, straight from the boonies,
It's great be an American and free,
Though I'm mixed in good with all the town loonies,
They'll never take the country out of me,

Yea, I moved into town to live like a city slicker,
And I'm doin' the best that I can...
I can drive by Churchill Downs and hear the horses nicker,
I'm just a country boy with a city slicker plan,
I can drive by Churchill Downs and hear the horses nicker,
I'm still a country boy, yea, that's who I am,
Though a country boy has a head a bit thicker,
City life is not so hard to understand.


Details | Haiku | |

Dancing Angels

Angels in heaven
Dancing on a small puddle
Always stay afloat


Details | Couplet | |

LG Poetry Department Store

Come on folks!  Everybody  come on over here!
I’m one of the coolest poetic  vendors all throughout  the year!

Midnight , anniversary , summer  and all kinds of seasons sales,
I’m sure you’ll enjoy shopping here while saving up your bills.

My spiritual uplifting poems are 80 percent discount offer,
For whole sale, take freely my dog who is so expert in prayer.

Take my poems  about friendship and love as much as you want,
Like sharing half of my heart to you, that’s  50 percent discount.

Special poem, My Name and poems dedicated to special friends,
They are out of stocks, but you can make an order if you can.

My poems  all about arts, music, nature and mysteries of life,
Biggest discount I’ll give, all have been displayed  in my big shelf.

The poems which express  my joys, sadness, and my  pains, 
 Buying them in retail price, take freely My Stupid Boyfriend.
 
Life is real Good while you shop at LG’s Poetry Department store,
Grab my Garage Sale now! You’ll regret if you postpone or ignore!


Written: Sept . 13, 2012



First Place
Contest: Poets Garage Sale
Judged:10/23/2012
Poet Sponsor: Poet SKAT


Details | Lyric | |

The Ego is a funny thing

The Ego is a funny thing
Tell you what you want to hear
Have you grinning from ear to ear
It’ll assure you of everything

It’ll drive you to achieve
Make you look cool, Make you look mean 
The ego’s got a plan
It’s going to teach what to believe

It’s going to show you what you need to know
Don’t listen to what others say
Don’t worry I’ll guide the way’
Have you looking like a fool, while you’re feeling cool

You need some money, I’ll teach you greed
Dress the part show the illusion
Do a little dance, have a little drink
Laugh and cheat and think its ok

Need a date, first you got to play the game
Put you in a fancy car
Wear shades to hide your eyes
protect you from being recognized

You’re in control or at least you think you are 
Opinionated to the core
Ego dipping, forever tripping
Hand waving finger flipping

The ego’s a funny thing
It’ll miss-lead you in every way
Then call you a friend
Confuse you and do all over again

Have you fighting with all your friends
Like a game without an end
It’s that demon in your mind 
it wants to control you every time 

(Verse 1 repeat)
The Ego is a funny thing
Tell you what you want to hear
Have you grinning from ear to ear
It’ll assure you of everything

Doesn’t matter if its night or day
Cause the ego wants to play
Always laughing when you’re thinking
Right or wrong it can’t be swayed.


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?


Details | Rhyme | |

Did I waste my time

At first school was cool
Had to abide by one simple rule
Read and write
And never fight
Recite the alphabet
How easy can it get?
One plus one is two
A E I O U
Two times two is four
D O O R spells door
Maths was about addition and subtraction
Multiplication and division
Studied animals and apes
And all them shapes
Circles and triangles
Squares and rectangles
Pentagons, hexagons
Septagons, octagons
Nonagons and decagons
Then I grew a little and things got tough
The stuff got a bit rough
School became boring
Talk of junior-high bullying
I got scared and
The maths got weird
Areas and volumes
Cones and pyramids
Cords and sectors
Quantities and vectors
Pi r squared?
Half times base times height?
No way I’m getting these right
Positives and negatives
Radius and diameter
Areas, perimeters
Voltmeters and ammeters
More and more shapes
Rhombus, star and trapezium
Physics and chemistry
Lithium and helium
Biology and history
Mussolini, Hitler and Stalin,
And the famous wall of Berlin
I thought I was done
But things got less fun
I started to debit and credit
Economics and statistics
Differentiation and intergration
Poisson and normal distribution
Assignments, projects and dissertations
Now I’ve got the diplomas and degrees
But guess what
I’m just a poet
Now, tell me
Did I waste my time?


Details | Rhyme | |

Forget-Forgot-Forgotten

There are so many things in my life That just seem to get forgot My brain is a dampend sponge Stuffed in my head that has begun to rot I can't remember Sh#t! In my simple life from day to day I can't blame any of it on God For it's my own fault that I am now this way Younger days of partying Along with the medication that I'm now on today Keep wiping my memory slate clean Causing all memories to quickly fade away Forget,forgot,forgotten... Those three words to me are all the same Sitting in a tub full of missing memories With a rotting sponge that is clogging the drain
7-10-12


Details | Limerick | |

Bow Pow

<                                    cakes and sausages on hot griddle
                                      uncle Leroy's dam dog just piddled
                                      slipped ~ slide across floor
                                      grabbed shotgun by front door
                                      now dam ole dog just plays an fiddle 



                            bow bow bow bow bow bow bow        bow ~ wow 
                            ow ow ow ow ow ow ow                       bow ~ ow 
                            with   tail    between     own  ~              legs 
                            now    dog    sings  ~    and  ~               brags
                            about cousin's daisies's  bad                 bow ~ pows
                  
                                                                                        
                                                                                     


Entry For John Freeman's
Slapstick Limerick Contest
Gl All

Poor Ole Dog LOL


Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!


Details | Free verse | |

Poetic Robbery

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Rhyme | |

How he killed her love

Here's a story, of a cheating con man.
Faithfulness, he does demand,
that's the way, hes got it planned.
He has her, eating from his hand.

He's a liar, and a cheat!
Gosh darn man, drives for weeks.
Never will be, hers to keep.
Better run girl! Its getting deep!


He's always gone, while shes at home.
His eyes, have been known, to roam.
While hes talking to her, on the phone,
all of a sudden, his service is gone!
He thinks, she will never know,
and besides, she wouldn't dare go.
Maybe, let a few tears flow,
Her true feelings, she won't show.


Hes a liar, and a cheat!
Gosh darn man, drives for weeks!
Never will be hers, to keep.
Better run girl! Its getting deep!


She wants his time and attention,
but this only causes, friction.
He wants her butt, in the kitchen,
and to stop, all that silly wishing!
Now, this girl isn't wise, for her years,
although, she knows, what she hears.
His unspoken words, only confirm her fears!
She just doesn't, Change his gears!

Hes a liar and a cheat!
Gosh darn man, drives for weeks.
Never will be, hers to keep.
Better run girl! Its getting deep!

Only so much, can she stand!
She wants a man, that will hold her hand.
Everyday, she won't live in dread.
A woman needs to, hold up her head!
Not worry about, her face being red...
Well now ,that's the story of
"How he killed, her love"
He should have, put her above,
not after, everything else, he does.
That's how, she became a was,
Cause, hes a liar, and a cheat!
Her heart no longer, his to keep!
Let the next one, kiss his feet!
This one has, admitted defeat!


Details | Rhyme | |

For the sake of sanity

I've had it up to here
life is so off track
hand me the remote
let's rewind it back

17 years old
I thought my life was hard
Well now I see the difference
'Cause now I am in charge

Companies are screaming
They get right my ear
"Miranda, pay your bills"
Clean your credit dear

Walk in the door
And I fall flat on my face
Toy's from crack to crevice
Completely out of place

Clean up this lovely mess
Get the kiddies off to bed
I try relaxing in the bath
To hear cries of "mama" in my head.

-Miranda Lambert-
for March Madness contest.


Details | Free verse | |

I open my eyes to see

I feel like 
I am all alone in this world 
with eyes
watching my every move

you might think that 
I was paranoid 
but every time I open my eyes
to see 
someone is responding to me 
answering a question I have
but never asked

I turned up the sound 
on my radio and TV
so that no one can hear me pee 
at home
I communicate with others 
on recyclable newsprint 
which I keep to burn 
at home
I burn all 
my garbage and place the ashes and bones 
in public waste receptacles 
around town

I wear recyclable rubber gloves and leave no prints
I wear recyclable rubber condoms and leave no sperm
I wear a mask and recyclable rubber booties when I am awake

you might think that 
I was paranoid 
but every time I open my eyes
to see 
I seem to 
find me


Details | Ballad | |

Pan and Satan

Pan and Satan.

One morning I was walking in my garden
When old Jupiter came up close to me.
And standing by his side stood fair Demeter
Who smiled at me so warm and tenderly.
She said “my son we’ve come to give our blessings
And we’ve a story we would like to tell.
Of how the great God Pan turned into Satan
And child I hope that you will listen well.

For Pan he was the god of natures beauty
And he wore no taint till Satan came along.
He’d play his pipes so gaily in the meadows
Though sometimes there was mischief in his song.

Then Satan said to pan “well I don’t give a damn
I’m going to steal your horns and make you me.
Then I’ll build a master plan and strike some fear in man
So always he will live in misery.
And that’s the way old Pan became young Satan
Yet still the old one dances deep within.
But if the two had never joined together
Then where would dwell the ugliness of sin.

1990


Details | Light Poetry | |

Pinked

Honey, I'm home!! Did you miss me at all?
Where are you?
Yoo-hoo, anybody home??

Have you been extra good, and mmmm
the house seems so fresh and clean, wow!

Did you eat right? 
A-mazing! You actually washed the dishes! 
I think I should leave you more often!

Where are you anyway??

My, you even watered the plants!!
Are you for real? 
Or were you abducted by aliens??

Everything's just so dust-free...
and you changed everything,
even our white curtains!

You switched them to Red??
But I am not really liking it...
but at least it's not pink. 
I HATE pink.
Sorry hun, you know I love white.

Which reminds me,
Did you remember to do the laundry?
Did you remember to leave the whites ALONE?

Honey!! Gosh can't you speak up louder?
Where are you anyway?
I feel like I am talking to the wind here...
and what is that sound???

Ok, I'll follow there in the basement
what are you doing there anyway??
Shucks, the smell of detergent--
it's so overwhelming, hunny bun.

What's this hanging on the doorknob?
PINK shoelaces??
Where'd this come from??

DOOLEY!!! What the HECK have you done???
Are you for real?
I think you've been abducted by aliens!!

You touched my WHITES.
ALL of THEM??
even my shoelaces??
and you washed them with those
darn RED curtains????




**August 12, 2010
sorry I think my funny bone got broken...
based on Pink Shoelaces song :)
submitted for Deborah's Sum sum Summertime contest :)


Details | Limerick | |

IS IT RESOLVED

The holidays are a time when we hold loved ones close

making New Year's resolutions to be better and not so morose.

With trimming the tree,  the gifts, the cards, the good wishes for all

Spending too much time and money at the mall.

Our hangover on Jan 2nd makes our resolutions go out the windows.


Details | Rondeau Redouble | |

Goodbye Johnny Walker

Goodbye Johnny Walker
Joanna Davis


I swear I’m in a nightmare
I know it’s some bad dream
this craving for the deadly juice
is nothing new it seems
Our life is one long quarrel, 
a battle no one can win
Am I paying a kind of penance,
for some past life of sin?
I won’t put up with this forever
the smell or wavering gait,
If I stay with you much longer,
I’ll surely be tempting my fate
A soul that’s soaked with liquor,
with breath to ignite a match
But your handsome looks so deceiving
I naively believed you a catch!
You’ll promise it’s the last time,
say you’re done… that it’s the end!
But in me you see a nagging wife,
while in the bottle - a comforting friend
Tell me exactly how, I can win,
or compete with something so pure?
What kind of psychological jargon,
would even up the score?
This demon is so elusive,
someone, somewhere, please advise me
What spirits will finally convince you
to seek your desired sobriety!



Details | Alliteration | |

Banana Boat Bob

<                        Banana ~ boat ~ Bob ~ is ~ a ~ slippery..... Boob
                          Thought ~ that ~  this ~ town ~ lost ~ it's .... groove
                          No ~ spice  ~  no ~  life ~ no  .... nothing
                          Little ~ lost ~ boy ~ now ~ looks ~ for ~ his ~ Lucy's ....  ring


                          When ~ where ~ what ~ or ~ even ......  why
                          I'll ~ inquire ~ insist ~ innovate ~ or ~ even  ..... lie
                          His ~ history ~ of ~ having ~ such ~ big ....... hamstrings
                          Maybe ~ even ~ mighty ~ magical ~ musical ~ fruits ~ and .... greens



                         Or ~ having ~ big ~ over-sized ~ onions ~ olives  ~ and ..... Kiwi
                         screw ~ this ~ he's ~ scum  ~ skewered ~ tossed ~ back ~ to ... sea
                         Poor ~ precious ~ pretty ~  Lucy ~  got .......    pranked
                         Cause ~ curious ~ Bob ~ couldn't ~ control ~ love ~ so ~ he ....  sank

              

                        All ~ alone ~ and ~ now ~ very .... angry
                        Drowing ~ deep ~ in ~ own ~ do-do  ~ droppings .... whopie 
                        Luscious ~ Lucy ~ now ~ can ~ look ~ long ~ and ...... hard
                        For ~ another ~ fast ~ floating ~ free ~ salemens ~ not ~ selling.... lard



Entry For
Linda Marie's
Luscious Love Lingers Contest
G.L. All


Details | Footle | |

Road Trip With The Kids

They fret
There yet?

She bit
He hit

Jaw tight
Food  fight

Oh Gee
Must Pee

More thrill
Big Spill

Irate
We're late!

They nod
Thank God!

 I think
BIG drink


Details | Monoku | |

Alien-nation

One more alien... an extra terrestrial. Bloody foreigners.


Details | Rhyme | |

Creaky Bones


Creaky bones, I must be getting old. Creaky bones, But I will not be told. Creaky bones, Those stairs are hard to climb. Creaky bones, I will not moan and whine. Creaky bones, Bending to tie up shoes. Creaky bones, Waiting in those long queues. Creaky bones, Once young, now aging fast. Creaky bones, Soon I’ll have that free bus pass. Creaky bones.


Details | Haiku | |

Sunet Strip

<                                  well isn't that swell
                                lost another cool surfboard ...
                                      holy sharks galore



                                        beyond horizon
                                 the sun bids day well ado ...
                                       happy trails to you



                                       top of old smokey
                                  cumulus congestive skies ...
                                    coughing up a storm



                                        excursion riding
                                  using buoyant enforcement ...
                                      to capture the sun



                                       yacht and small vessel
                                  endlessly floats rippled lake ...
                                       feeling abandoned                                   
                                                            


Details | Limerick | |

Dan of the Land

There's a man named Dan of the Land
His poems humorous, never bland
With a flick of his wrist
He writes prose with a twist
From a mind that is always unmanned


Details | Limerick | |

A Whole Week Color-Mania

Colors will always make my  life happier,
They also make my whole world brighter
       What if there’s no color?
       I think,  I’ve  no life galore
And I cannot make myself much prettier.

So, I’ve got a more fantastic idea,
To show everyone my color-mania
     For Monday Luck,  I wear red
     From my feet to my head
Like a  dragon of New Year in China.

Then comes the next day, it’s Tuesday
Keeping  aura,  I’ve color of sun ray
    Yellow dress  and jewelries,
    They say,  I’ve  hepatitis
But, I don’t care no matter what they say.

Then comes the third day of the week,
More work are done making me weak
    To conceal my exhaustion 
    Green color shows pretention
That my life and vigor are still at peak.

Thursday comes so perfectly great,
I wear purple , also my favorite
    Purple  fingernails and lips,
    Its on me up to the tips
And I get smiles from whoever I meet.

Friday, the last day of my  office work,
On this day,  rainbow color over perk
   I use multi-colored things,
   Feeling of joy they’ll  bring
 No one says I carry myself like a quirk.

Saturday and Sunday are weekends, 
Still, work and activities never end
    Two days, I’ll be all in pink
    People see me can’t wink
Tickled pink that I look so young my friend.




Sept. 22, 2012

First Place
Contest: Colors
Judged: 10/15/2013
Sponsor: Poetess Skat


Details | Bio | |

My Life These Days

Leonora I am a loyal, loving, caring and responsible friend and sister The only daughter of my loving parents , Manuela and deceased father Leonilo Lover of poetry, arts (portraits and painting) and playing piano Who feels alone, exhausted and so bored Who fears loss of love, loss of life and snake is the most Who would like to see different countries, future kids and great poets on poetry soup A proud resident of Candon which is not a boarder of Canada and London Galinta
written: Oct. 1,2012 First Place Contest: Life These Days Poem Judged: Sponsor: Poet Carol Sunshine Brown


Details | Free verse | |

Last Bell.....

Man, I remember the thrumming of that last bell of the school year.....
Like a prisoner being furloughed into the warm sun, buzzing of grasshoppers.
Field stickers burrowing into your ankles, joyfully, while you take the wrong way/long way 
back.
The sound of whispering gold as your armplane wings dislodge future assaulters of ankles.
I always liked sighs in the summer.....those sweet drones were the tones of freedom.
In the distance you hear Shirley scream as Brad tells EVERYBODY she likes Ralph...
You knew you should be gettin' home, but, confound it, this one brief moment was yours. 
Eternal.
There was a sound, like a shell to the ear, of all you had learned, escaping as if under 
pressure.
To thwart it was to stop a tsunami with an umbrella.....ineffectual....unnoticed.
But, also vacant, was common sense; probably why I went Jake's way that day....
Oh, he was there, lurking...lying in wait for my almost clock-work arrival.
Many a day I had screamed a million insults at him as he chased me like Satan,
Hoping "today" wasn't the day he caught up with me.
His exhalations never sounded labored, as if he was letting me get ahead.....
But not today!!!!!.....I JUMP......He LUNGES......and his teeth gain purchase on my seat!!!!
However, I escape....My bottom, that much cooler than it was before and will probably be 
later!
........................
.........
.....
...
Home.......... you see mom in the kitchen, drinking sun tea and waiting for you to arrive....
"So, How was school?"..."Uh, fine, I guess."     "What did you learn today?"......."Uh, to never 
underestimate the value of Gym Class!!"......"Well," she says, "if you took home economics, 
you'd be able to fix up your pants before Dad gets home and sees your underwear!!"......

Parents NEVER respect an Adventurer's near-fatal exploits!!!


Details | Limerick | |

Sure Ain't as Bad as I Thought

I just hit rock bottom I fear
(That landing sure tore up my rear)
Don't know which way's up
But hey, ya' know what?
I'm starting to like it down here


Details | Free verse | |

Naughty Queen Vicky

It may come as quite a shock
but Queen Victoria
Loved a curry on a Friday night
liked plenty of sex
and smoked pot.


Queen Victoria and her husband Prince Albert, had 9 children together. Her Indian servant and confidant introduced her to Indian food. Taking drugs and opium were legal in such times.

P Dome. copyright 2012.


Details | Free verse | |

I am behind the wheel

I am behind the wheel
things move quickly by
I feel like I ‘m being pulled along 
by the machine
new  gauges 
just keep coming 
and going around

the faster I go
the greater the outside winds
the greater the noise
garbage flies speedily by
in all directions
some of it hits me 
and sticks

the outside noises are great
they confuse me
they cloud the music
and the surroundings
and overcome 
communications
and relations

I must 
keep the windows closed
to keep out the outside noise
I must try to take control 
of the machine 
slow down speed up
right turn left turn
never never stop

I am told 
that I must keep going
fast
somewhere
to succeed
hands on the wheel
foot on the throttle
never never look back

I ‘m afraid 
to stop
how will I get 
where I’m going
once I no where
how will I find it
how will I know


Details | I do not know? | |

So You Say You Love Me

Ok, so you say you love me
Just to clarify, does that include:

Bad hair days,
blonde days,
'I hate work' days,
spotty days,
ugly days,
fat days,
'Does my bum look big in this' days,
grumpy days,
sick days,
sad days,
too much to drink days,
can't get out of bed days,
and the 'I'm not talking to you' days?


Details | Rhyme | |

Job Change

You know, I thought changing one’s job would be easy,
To start a new vocation would be breezy.
I got me local newspaper, looking for a job as a sparky, (electrician)
But I said “what the F-ck, these ads were written by a sarky.”

The first job was an “Almond Knocker,”
Now this sounds as sleazy as sniffing used jockstraps in a locker.
Who wants to look for an almond the shape of a woman’s top half of her anatomy, 
But, looking at women’s breast to find one that looks like an almond, appeals to me.

The second job was a “Blind Hooker,”
Now what can I say, that’s a woman’s job and boy she’ll have to be a looker.
She would be the cheapest thrill you’d ever have 
You can imagine the police chasing her as she is lead by her all eye seeing sat nav.
Nope not for me…

Uuhh! Here’s one for me, “Bosom Presser”
Squeeeezing them breasts from the largest to the lesser.
I gave them a call straight away
Only to find out the job was not really that way
Dam!

The next one was, what the f-ck? a “Dike Stoneman”
Well I don’t think any man can
This must be a woman bouncer for a happy club ( I hope this is more politically 
correct than saying “Gay”)
The one you greet say “Hey Bud”

Well later I googled the titles and yes you right, I was wrong,
I suppose me old job will be lifelong
Overworked, under paid
Oversexed under laid

Here are a few more jobs I came across, an “Egg Smeller, Chicken Sexer, Pillow Girl
:-) , Butt maker, , Fire Drier (never heard of wet fire) and for all you animal lovers out 
there, Frog Shaker, Monkey Tail Puller and those who don’t change their underwear, 
a Skid Marker

 


Details | I do not know? | |

Schooldays Western and Graduation Classics

Brought up from the womb of schooldays
Where memories still frames those mischief plays
Stuck with the thoughts of dreaming holly bolly babes
Comparing the beauties from among the best
The out and out gist, one surely misses those garlopholic days.

The morning alarm runs the cold water hot
Breakfast served and then the sprint
To reach before the nine forty bell.
Literature lecture the morning Yawn, followed by
Critical calculations the creation of few jobless mankinds.
Easy to know the solar system only from books, but
One need to fight against hurdles, to go round the globe.
The fruit that proved the gravitation, and the man who saw,
Keeping rest of the things constant, how come he didn’t notice before
Other things to fall ??
Subjects all seemed to me having an inter-relationship
And lastly this chain is known as history with mystery.

Immature mind yet a manly look
Smoking fag with creative thoughts
No idea how large the peg
Yet felt proud to say, ‘I finished 750 ml alone without a vomit break’.
A hint to know the word ‘C’,
And then I thought of kindergarten days
Where I learnt, C is for Cat,
Was it a fake?

Crazy things and Quarter to quarter girlfriends
Tears shifted to the word sex.
Yummy dreams with sorts of vulgarity
Wings started to spread but keeping in mind the fidelity.

Bohemian time and three more irresponsible years
Had to reach anyhow before the rays reaches
Principal’s eyes.
British age classrooms and railway station fans
High degree oldie professors and their sleeping pills lectures
Boredom same gender batch mates and that regular back gate
The awaited smudged horizon, suddenly brightens
The first one to appear used to have hundreds of eyes and mind respect.

A rare macaw time now
Bunch of responsible days to come
Stressed with few kicked off past and framed memories
Westerns and classics are now changing to a routine life.
Weekend alcoholic night and a morning sleepy Sunday
Followed by a workaholic Monday to Friday.


Details | Couplet | |

"Krogers" Georgia

Bush's Beans, the magical fruit
for my morning tea fresh ginger root.

We also get bananas and tomatoes.
Plenty of boxes of cereal as well as mashed potatoes.

Along with cream, cheese, and bottles of mayo,
I sometimes have to buy granny's Depends, oh no!

Yogurt is in there as well frozen and fresh veggies.
Meat and baked goods complete the list and satisfy famliy munchies!



Details | Haiku | |

ZOOKEEPER

Lookin' after pests
Keepin' a CLOSE eye on 'em
"Those wild animals!"

Roamin' around zoo
Searchin' for sneaky monkey
Hidin' in a tree

Zookeeper gets mad
"Where's Marty, the smartypants!?"
"He TOOK my cage keys!"


Details | Rhyme | |

Jack Ace, Jackass

He’s 
cool,
jack of all trades
master of none,
as he manipulates 
women for fun.

He’s
cold, 
ice in his veins
and slick lil' snake,
he'll kill ta' steal the deal
real as he's fake

He’s 
cruel,
crowned heart breaker 
full trophy case,
but most ladies know him as
"Lowly Jack-Ace"


This is RHYME METER~


Details | Burlesque | |

Suburban Spring

Suburban Spring	
(4.15.10)


	Springtime fills the air, 
			like laughing gas.
		(Or maybe more like whiskey.)
The suburbs are drunk on the nectar of it's dawn.
	Middle-class houses 
			are starting to dance.
		(Or maybe they're just wobbling.)
They vomit whole families onto their lawn.

			I watch them the same way dogs watch TV:
				Confused and intrigued, 
		with a slight urge to pee.

	The father cuts grass, 
			like a sleepwalker.
		(Or maybe more like a zombie -
Ravenous for cheap beer, instead of brains.)
	A six pack later, 
			he starts washing his car.
		(Or watering his driveway.)
He's spreading on wax so he's set when it rains.

	The mother kneels in dirt, 
			tending the garden.
		(More like digging in a sandbox.)
Her spade is rusty.  (Figuratively, at least.)
	A sunset later, 
			she cooks family dinner.
		(Or maybe orders some pizza.)
(If every mouth is fed, she can call it a feast.)

			I watch them the same way dogs watch TV.

	The son plays war games, 
			dying for fun.
		(Or maybe more for practice.)
He whines about fruit drinks, as well as the heat.
	A full pitcher later, 
			tweaking on sugar,
		(Or maybe just corn starch.)
the war escalates, 'til its time to go eat.

	The daughter makes a picnic, 
			inviting her toys.
		(Or maybe not.)
(Her plastic spread can only spread so thin!)
	After the tea time, 
			she's off picking flowers.
		(Or maybe weeds.)
(As long as they're pretty, there's a vase that they'll fit in.)

		They gather, as a family, at the table to say grace.
		They hold each others' hands and say, "Amen."  
			(And proceed to stuff their face.)

	The dog sits by the boy - 
			Loyal and true.
		(Or maybe just hungry.)
He drools as he stares from the corners of his eyes.
	After dinner, 
                     he offers to help with the dishes.
		(Or maybe he demands it.)
The boy sneaks him a bite.  The dog is not surprised.

	Bedtime comes soon after.  
			The kids are sent to brush their teeth.
		(Or maybe just to run the sink.)
They put on their jammies, and to bed, they go.
	After tucking them in, 
			the parents watch TV.
		(Or maybe they just dream they do, 
					sleeping in its glow.)

	The dog is changing channels, 
			looking for a better show.
				Confused and intrigued, 
		he pees on the carpet below.


Details | Haiku | |

Alarm cat

                              


matty meows with
  a rooster at  6 a.m.
       but, no snooze button


Details | Burlesque | |

Cooler

Fifty years of bustin’ ass, I never had a dime,
If I had any balls at all, I’d’ve chose a life of crime;

I never owned a brand new truck, a flat TV or yacht,
I figured I deserved much more, but settled for what I got;

I’ve had some ladies in the past, one of them I wed,
The day she said her last good-bye, I was still chained to the bed; 

Intentions never mattered much; all efforts were in vain,
So I decided it was time to quit, and end all of the pain;

I took a walk to Clary Bridge, took aim at a boulder,
All I got was a branch in the ass and a dislocated shoulder;

After I was discharged, I tried new methodology,
The light bulb in my head told me electricity!

So I opened up the breaker door and gave a golden shower,
The GFI installed last June shut down all the power;

I stood there in my basement, with my futility
Steeped in humiliation and a bit of my own pee;

Resolute to find a means to ensure I would expire,
In a blaze of glory, the world would see me set myself on fire;

I strutted to the gas pump, a human birthday candle,
In front of rush hour traffic, I squeezed the oily handle;

Lighter in my right hand, I lit it fully gassed,
It took all of three seconds for the fire suppression blast.

It covered cars and people white, causing all some grief,
Hacking coughs, angry stares and one pissed off fire chief;

Never knowing when to quit is my Achilles heel,
I set my sights on a lofty cliff and got behind the wheel;

The steepest edge that I recalled was at the Jamesville Quarry 
So in the dust of my rear windshield I scratched the words “Memento mori”

Crossed my fingers just for luck, that things would go as planned,
Between the gasket and the tow, it would cost about a grand;

Later in the waiting room, in line to see the shrink,
I chatted with a fellow sod to see what he did think;

I told him of my luckless life, burdened by a curse,
And my desire to end my life and ride off in a hearse;

He listened quite intently, with a smile and a nod,
Then said he had a deal for me, although it may seem odd;

He told me gambling addiction was his infirmity,
And leaning forward in his seat, knew just the place for me;

I’m paying all my bills on time; my life is somewhat stable,
I have a little pocket cash and Friday I get cable

No longer do I make attempts to do myself some harm,
Turned the tables on my curse of being a bad luck charm;

The casino really likes me, they pay me a good buck;
I’m working as a “cooler” now, breaking peoples luck.


Details | Limerick | |

What is it all about

After life's most noteworthy prize
All must reach a final demise
This was their best love
Say the wise from above 
Large pizza and super-size fries 


Details | Limerick | |

The Naked Truth

<                                our top story tonight is Lawyers
                                  a pain in the ass and real spoilers
                                  with  fancy cars homes suits
                                  fifteen hundred kaboot
                                  rather hire cowboy wearing just spurs






Entry For Carolyn Devonshire's 
Lawyer Limerick's Contest

GL All
                                  
                                  


Details | Free verse | |

Duck Side Story

You have your North side ducks, 
And you have your south side ducks.
Neither the twain shall meet.
For each one had his nose in the air. 
They simply would not do the greet.

So as it happens they would dance with flair in the middle of the pond.
Always trying to out do the other side…Yes, let’s call it ‘Stomp The Pond’
Wings in motion lifting them up, to stomp the waters with their feet
Acrobatics and splashing around… Man it looked so neat.

So Stella, one of the South Side Ducks fell in love with her North side Pete.
But she couldn’t cross the middle of the pond, with so much action in the way.
Fussing, blustering, and carryings on were the name of the day.

But you know, there’s always one strange duck, and that’s the one who built a bridge.
Now all the others could come across or watch the stomp from the middle of the id.
My moral, I say to you young ones… is as appealing as stomping can be…
The world works better when brought together… 
By the builders of a bridge.


Details | Diminished Hexaverse | |

Can't Live Without

How I desire you
To hold you in hands
Gaze on your beauty
Freshness of your scent
What's that extra touch

Some say my love
Is way too shallow
I say that it's deep
Attached I cling

Chocolate
Addiction
Deep, deep, deep

Can't live 
Without

You

For contest: "I Just Can't Live Without You"
Sponsored by: Drake Eszes


Details | Senryu | |

Quit Running

mom say's
quit running !!!!
  {walk}


Details | Chastushka | |

A Windy Day

Oily hair, I battle each day.
Washing it twice each bath I take.
Once the wind, did come my way,
They said , what a scarecrow I’d make.



Written for

Sponsor ^Rick Parise 
Contest Name A BAD HAIR DAY ~ 


Details | Rhyme | |

GO AHEAD, LAUGH

What's in a sound, that has no word
But to our souls and spirits it’s the best thing heard
Laughter is a pleasant sound, 
It spreads joy all around.
Whether you're young or old, laughter can be like magic to our souls
Even with a joke to a boring person laughter can control
A cure for something that seems impossible to endure
Laughter comes spontaneously
And makes you happier instantly
I think worry is an invisible tumor 
But it can be cured by humor 
To giggles, sniggers, chuckles, mutters, murmurs, and mumbles
I laugh so hard my words start to stutter and stumble
Who could not love the sound of laughter to it there is such a happy ring
And the simple gift of laughter it is such a wonderful thing
Laughter is the best medicine
While crying is an unforgivable sin
To laugh is always such great fun 
It relieves the soul, the heart, and the lungs 


“The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.” 
 Shirley MacLaine
 








Details | Limerick | |

Plain Computer Talk

”. Errors, error, press on “any key
Yes our minds are a clutter you see.
I told you what to do.
Now you are turning blue.
No” any key” shows itself to me.


Details | I do not know? | |

U Also Can Be Hater Free

If only u could hold on to the sun in the rain!!!!! 
U,d know that ya sunshine would never be demed again!!! 
"So if ya light is too bright for certain individuals 
sight!!!"Advise them to hold on to their sun!!!
 For darkness doesn,t last 4ever, have faith in "ya light" to come!!!! 
Then when they look their self in the mirror they can 
say!!!!"I,m no longer a HATER...The light shining on me today..
And I will dance around freely basking in the sun...
Cause the darkness has failed an my light has finally won ...
Leaving me envyless with pride in who I am!!!, Not who I wish i could become  


Details | Ballad | |

Karma

You spoiled me with gifts
You always helped me out
You said you'd always be there
You were all I was about

I eventually let my walls down
I finally let you in
It only lasted 2 months
I'm not gonna let u win

You tricked and deceived me
Everything was all just a lie
Other girls you did see
Your bulls**t I did buy

But I learned real quick
I finally caught on
I kicked you to the curb
And now your f**king gone

I'm a great, loving person
You obviously could not see
Your not gonna bring me down
Your just another faded memory

So be a cocky, selfish, dick
And chase after tail
Tell all your bulls**t lies
Cause at life you will fail

Cause when your old n gray
And there's no more drama
A lonely, sad life you'll lead
So haha F**k You, that's karma


Details | Lyric | |

It's My Birthday, It is Your Birthday

It’s My Birthday

It’s my birthday…  I look out the window there is no one for me owe so, owe so lonely poor me . 

It’s my  birthday…  you surprise me, with a Barber-Q grill  with a cooler that chills with a grin we show white grills.

Happy Birthday… it’s my Birthday I am still waiting,  it   is almost the end of my the day, just waiting on you to wish me a happy birthday which, well make my day. 

It’s my birthday…you do not remember that day, can we go out for we can remember that day?

It’s my birthday… I can share it or alone, some share it with a twin, or with a friend and the ones who stay to the ends like a good friend.

It my birthday…  its looks like another day to me I just need someone or something to comfort with me a room full of women and with hand full men, a juice in cup, juice in glass, with a sweet lady and grill on cut grass that may make every day feel like my birthday, with a touch of class. 
 
It’s your birthday… it’s your birthday you should all-ways win on your birthday, if do not have a mate you sneak and go on second party date form those who may player hate.  
  
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday!  it comes and go, I see you come through, looking out my window with a hand full company that is what a party really should need, yes it’s sweet, sweet with music and sweet with treats or  it must be the money, or food, or brinks, or just me.


Poetry 7/7/12 by author Keith K. Relf


Details | Haiku | |

Just Do It

<                                   silent explosion 
                             between puckered weary legs ...
                                     spandex dialogue



                                                                       
                                    
                                                                                                                                           
 Entry For Poet Destroyer's
Pooping Contest {Don't Ask To Go To The Bathroom}


Details | Limerick | |

Fire In The Hole

<                                        once there was ten devious children
                                          oh how they did a poor little sin
                                          brother had passed some gas
                                          they lit match to his ass
                                          dam dog was even wearing a grin






Entry For
John Freeman's
Giggle Poetry Contest # 2
G.L. All


Details | Rhyme | |

A Mother's discipline

With soap in hand placed in my mouth
Head hangs over toliet tongue heads south
Dirty words no more


Details | Rhyme | |

The Pinnacle

.
                                           The pinnacle of selfishness
                                       On top of the great world am I 
                                      Alone here with selfcenteredness
                                      By myself I can eat the whole pie
                                            Alone with television yea
                                       No arguments with me this day

Click on "About This Poem"


Details | Monorhyme | |

AGING ABC's: AN OLD BROAD'S THINK-A-LING


Seductive is age for steeping passion keeps ladies Anais-Nin*-ka-ling,

though decaying eyes has most of us Blink-blink-a-ling,

And a goddess frame has grown so loose sometimes we hear it Crink-a-ling,

But, gals, at least we’ll never groan, “Dang! Where is my Dink-a-ling?”

Thing is, hairs sprout in places that have us plucking and Eek-Eek-a-ling

so we can go out with some sock-n-sandal grump who grunts like a Fink-a-ling.

We sip H20, but some stale nights just call for a tonic and Gin-a-ling.

In regards to memory, it’s more than just a tad Hinky-a-ling,

Brains slip like a feet on ice and can barely hold one single Ink-a-ling.

Bodies shift, the nurse lifts, we pray that we aren’t Jinxed-ka-ling.

Soft locks become rocks, grey wires that are ever a Kink-a-ling,

And our face is a road map where all lines will eventually Link-a-ling.

Agreed, wearin’ fur is cruel, yet blue feet beg for slippers of Mink-a-ling,

So we pounce on our warm pets like we are a flannel-wearing Nin-ja-ling,

It ain’t so bad to schlub in our grubs and heave ho the corsets and Ohh-la-la-ling,

Now we clutch chipped mugs in spotty hands ‘til they turn a nice Pink-a-ling.

We feel like we’ve had a birthday each year since the dynasty of Qing-a-ling,

“Help! I can’t get up!” we’ll call if we go figure faking at an ice Rink-a-ling,

Most sports leave us sorely thumped and into our beds we go a Slink-a-ling.

Older bladders do odd things- all day long all we do is go a Tink-a-ling,

We’re inside scouting for washrooms so our pale skin is never UVRay-a-ling,

Instead we shop for miracle bras so boobs don’t look like they’re VV-a-ling,

But hey, there is art in long lines, those ever lengthening Wrink-a-lings,

And wise guys know that X-perience made us X-citing and XXX-ka-lings

It’s a Tao attitude, so ride the grey waves! Embrace life’s Yang-Yin-ka-lings,

But, Sisters, as we pant these miles, we’d better take plenty of Zinc-a-ling!



This is probably the most nonsense-ical poem I’ve ever written. All in fun.
For Bet. Hope it made you giggle – Love from Dee, a ding-a-ling!

Happy Birthday!


*Anais Nin wrote literary style erotica that is now recognized as art.


Details | Limerick | |

Some Limericks...

She’s out there chasing a cricket

Through bush, through shrub & through thicket

Together they hop

Fugitive, cop

But when she gets it, she just wants to lick it!
 

A cat whose vet took his eye

Just cannot quite understand why

His eye’s been enucleated,

3-D vision reduciated,

So now, he keeps an eye out for an eye

 
Ya gotta keep limericks loose

Think green eggs, or perhaps Dr. Seuss

They’re structured, it’s true,

But they’re also a zoo

Whose tenants are all on the loose!


I frolic in fountains of words

Overflowing with serious absurds

Each poem I write

Wakes up and takes flight

Joining angels and faeries and birds

 
You ask that we write a good limerick

How to do so, I haven’t a glimmerick

So I struggle and frown

Teaching  poems to clown

So a smile on your lips will be shimmerick

 
A cat with a mouth full of mouse

Brought her feast right into my house

She played with her food

Who was not in the mood

To be a banquet of mouse in the house

 
The nightmares that shadow my sleep

Stampede the proverbial sheep

Right out of my mind

When I try to unwind

I find my appointment with sleep hard to keep

 
In her search for original truth

She met people unsavory and couth

She knitted and purled

But only unfurled

Yarns told by new age and old youth

 
Cat, suddenly pink,

Drinks her water from out of the sink

She looks so absurd

Since she’s been de-furred

I really don’t know what to think!

 
If one and one is two and two is four,

And there’s only two ways to go through  a door,

Then, is earth up or down?

And, where is down town?

These are questions we need to explore!

 
A was that is an is

Tried to mind my biz

But I sent it packing,

Its presence was lacking

And I don’t have time for such shiz!


A couple who lived in Los Lunas

Loved the wide desert sky’s crystal blueness

They’d stare at the air,

Over here, over there

And rejoice at the feeling of newness

 
A cat with a very fat gut

Found it easier to walk on his butt

He’d drag it around

Across carpet and ground

And use it to slam the doors shut

 
Said the Missus to her dear Mr. Otter,

“There’s something I think that you oughta

Do before we get old

To protect us from cold –

You oughta make the hot water hotter!”

 
The ghosts who live up in my attic

Make noises that sound much like static

I’ve tried to send them away,

But they’re here to stay,

Those staticky ghosts in my attic


Details | Free verse | |

Thunderstruck Sunshine

The clouds shook
A thick, black, very wet blanket out
In the Southeastern quadrant 
Of the New Mexico firmament,
Complete with lightning
And growling, crackling,
Massive basso-profundo sound effects,
Inviting the sun to rest,
Take a load off, 
Reeellaaaxxx! 

Abrasively radiant,
Helios glared a brilliant, heated, passionate,
Steamy smile
Into the arid monsoon skies

And refused Storm’s invitation
To lie down and go to bed


Details | Couplet | |

Where does the Time go

I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…


Details | Quatrain | |

My Life As A Dog

My life as a dog would indeed be fine
Knowing I could nap anywhere, anytime.
On the porch or in a chair,
I could dream without a care.

With my legs, I'd set a pace
And find a cat or car to chase.
If that prusuit for me did fail,
I'd turn around and chase my tail.

With my nose, I'd take in smells
And see what things I could tell.
Like who is cooking, what and where,
Or who passed by, here and there.

With my ears, I could listen good
To the sounds of my neighborhood.
When the sun went down and all was dark,
I'd take heed of the twilight bark.

With my voice, I would make known
Visitors who approached my home.
My bark would make all foes flee,
Yet to friends it'd be welcoming.

With my eyes, I could implore or beg,
For a scrap of food or a pat on the head.
The neatest thing is - is that I could see
In the dark of night, what there might be.

With my tail, I could express
The degree of my happiness.
And when I'd head out on the go,
My tail would wag, to and fro.

For all the ways that I can find
To put myself in a canine's mind,
It's quite plain to see,
My life as a dog would be grand indeed.


Details | Rhyme | |

Cottage Cheese

Cottage cheese is a delightful treat when anyone is sombre! Take a bite, in spite of spite, And you'll be quite the charmer!!! (explodes into gay rainbow random confetti) *inspired by obscenely old, gay bearded wizards*


Details | Acrostic | |

Not Good in a Bed but Fine up Against a Wall/ E.Roosevelt

O rigin, the beginning, the mostest, bestest, most beauteous
H ave you ever been so very full of the symbolic

M essage of the flower kingdom
Y ou just can’t stand to see, or smell, another

G od forsaken picker pushing
O range, red, white, pink
D andy, handy, trite ,

A nalog for the joy and pain;

D ripping from the plucked
A nd pieced heart of
M an and his foil woman.
N ever again will I accept a 

R ose as anything thing
O f consequence 
S ince even an
E vil heart can buy a rose.


Details | Narrative | |

Ralph

i was just a kid the first time i met him
he borrowed my brand new wrist-rocket
and scampered off into the night, laughing like a ghoul
the sound of two young lovers on a beach, punctuated by howls of pain
the returning of footfalls and mad laughter
he had his fun, now it was time to party

i had no way of knowing this crazy man was to be in my life for many years to come
i had no way of knowing he would help shape who i was to become
he drug us from the beaches of Oregon to the deltas and forests of California
forever altering the path i strode upon

once, he had me and his son dig a 6X6 pit and bury him up to his neck
pre-emptive of him "Nutting up".
we fed him beer and fritos at his request... we unburied him after he came down
There are stories to be told that i cannot tell here.... but alive and fertile in my memories.
one day i will see him again and ask permission to tell some....
But it won't matter..... you wouldn't believe them anyway!!!!!


Details | I do not know? | |

Why Are Church Doors Locked

WHY ARE CHURCH DOORS LOCKED?

I have been a member for many years. I attend when ever I can.  I pray and pay.
I guess, I took it for granted, but not anymore. I must stand up for all that want to know.  For all that need to know. No! I am not a  hero, but I would like to know. 

There was a time in my youth, when it was un-thinkable to lock a church door. Did congress pass a law, while I was sleeping?  Should I call the sheriff?  Why didn’t the pastor tell me?  Does he know? Did he lock the front door, side door, and even the back door? Does God know, the doors at the church are locked?  Saints, we are in big trouble.

Okay! Let’s get serious. Are you trying to keep something locked out? Are you trying to keep something locked in? This could be a sin. There are two individuals in the congregation that I can ask.  They certainly must know answer. After all, their name is Brother Lock and Brother Smith. Yes! The Lock Smith Brothers. 

Now if the Devil is locked up, when I leave church, I’m okay with that. You say, I should not worry about this.  Well! It is now at the top my list. I want to know more. It’s time to stop church crime.  

Dr. "G"


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Sucky Couch

My couch is oh so Comfy. It’s true I wouldn’t lie.
And every time I sit there, I have trouble with my eyes.
No matter who is with me, or what I’m watching on TV….
It tends to drift right by me as I work hard, my eyes to see.
Unfortunately, they keep closing. No matter what I do.
And I have to watch a movie repeatedly, to finally see it thru.
I know I’m getting older. Of that I have no doubt.
That couch sucks me into its comfort, tho it’s a prize I treasure all-out.
So if you come to see me, expect the very worst…
But know I’d love to visit, if only I could stay alert…
My father came to visit at the age of 78…
We got along to perfection, with all the naps we both take each night…
I swear, I can fall asleep sitting up, or standing on my head.
My husband lays a blanket upon me, each night as he goes to bed.
Then finally I will wake up, about 2-3 AM…
Then it’s off to bed to finish what I started before then…
And then another nap at noon time, between writing poetry in a comfy chair…
There’s times I lose my poetry to my little snores there…
Then it’s back to working harder to try to write some more…
But that couch is so addictive, I doubt I’ll ever see my friends again…
And any where past 7 is really bad for me…
But don’t forget to visit, anyway…if you’re in the vicinity.
If you cannot wake me… just leave a note, you see…
And I’ll be really tickled pink… to know you remembered me, it’s true…
Even though I may not remember you…

Carol Eastman: Light Poetry, rhyme, Love it because it's so true and was fun to write.
Contest: Beloved Poem


Details | Limerick | |

Lemmings never pay the phone company

"Tree huggers” use AT&T
The human cost catastrophe
On the horizon
Like text from Verizon
Is sent with the speed of 4G
 
Pollution's still booked at no 
cost
And Earth’s expenses neatly tossed
Off the balance sheet
With a "Sprint" so complete
The effects on nature seem lost 

Yes EPA rules do offend
Those who crave Earth’s wealth without end
They claim to hate debt
But have seen nothing yet
Like phone bills "T-Mobile" might send! 


Author's note:  It seems ironic and strange that debt haters (like tea party supporters, for 
example) and those who are pushing more reliance on fossil fuel and less "subsidy" for 
renewables (Romney/Ryan for example) support the continuation of policies and 
practices that will damage the environment and that will hurt future generations.  They are 
pushing growth and not pushing conservation.  I would have more respect for them if 
they talked about the costs as well as the benefits of their plans.  I wonder if it might just 
be a scam to reward large corporations for the short term and stick it to the rest of us for 
generations.  That would be nothing new.


Details | Clerihew | |

Not, yet

I dreamt myself as poet-frog
And good Fancy` Fairy
Would stoop to pick my verse…
But she didn`t come.


Details | Clerihew | |

God That Taste Like Rubber

<                                      Mr Thomas Adams
                                        Weaver of the gum  Wham !
                                        Thought his Chicle
                                        Would fit better on my motor ~ cicle






Entry For 
John Freeman's 
Giggle Poetry
G.L. All


Details | Free verse | |

Ship Ahoy Divorce Style

<                                              Haiku

                                          sea's tranquility
                                   bestows harmonic balance
                                      amidst  tides rising



                                               Limerick



                          aye ye matey walking its own plank
                          let not ye other take thee to bank
                                raise thy anchors set sail
                              give heeve hoe to those failed
                         find ye other sailor's who's yet sank  




                                              Couplet



                    shivery timbers captain bow is about to break
                    toss overboard it's ye baggage holding thee dam weight 




Entry For
{Destroyer { Poet's
Divorce Club
Haiku /Limerick/Couplet Contest
G.L. All


Details | Rhyme | |

Constanza Dance

Who is this funny dancing clown
Who entertains throughout the year
With painted frown and brush stroked tears?

His dizzy spins go round and round
‘til orange hair and polka dots
Look like a crazy spinning top.

Then plopping down upon the ground
As children laughed until they cried
At funny dizzy crisscrossed eyes.

There, where his frown was upside down.
The happy circus filled with smiles
As other clowns ran in the aisles.

Now laughing loud without a sound
And gaily dancing as he left
Belying inner tears he wept…
 
Who is this funny dancing clown?
His dizzy spins go round and round,
Then plopping down upon the ground
There, where his frown was upside down,
Now laughing loud without a sound.
 
 
8/22/2012 For Andrea’s Constanza Contest


Details | Rhyme | |

NATURE CALL




I call it a good bathroom routine relief spent from poop’s wriggler, now, awful gas gets meaner on this café’s john for fresh butt clean. While meeting clients, lunching and all a toilet- rush far from home, I dump and reach for side chrome no tissue left, my hands in trouble! © For PD’s Pooping Contest By nette onclaud


Details | Sonnet | |

Twin Key

June 24th 2010

Twin Key

Hey, help me out here would you please?
Can you show me where all my whys go?
While you are at it search my I told you so.
More so, that alter ego I want you to seize.

Listen here and listen up, it has twin keys.
I tell you something else, do not tell it no.
It gets bigger and bigger a dynasty I know.
Blow a kiss for me send it my best breeze.

Roll out my red carpet,
Spit-shine your shoes,
Sit it down just park it!
Say I depart my blues!

Look out here there is two just like me,
God blessed you! I have my Twin Key.

®Registered: Ann Rich 2010





Details | Tanka | |

My Boo

<                          halloween haunting's
                       black shoe polish foundation
                             ruby red lipstick
                       pillow stuffed under big dress
                        red white bandana for hair

                               spatula in hand 
                       eggbeater in dress pocket
                              pillowcase for loot
                       daddy's boots causing blisters 
                          aunt jemima memories 




Entry For
Paula Sweanson's
Halloween Of Tears Past
GL AL


Tribute To Childhood Memories


Details | Epigram | |

Stuck On You

braces interlocked - told him no kissing


Details | Couplet | |

Fastest Gun In The West

<                                      Now hold on there Tex !
                                        Let me get     dressed  !


                                        Let me saddle up my horse
                                        To trollop around this Halloween course


                                        Got on my chaps
                                        My spurs and cowboy hat


                                       Replica's of forty five's
                                       Riding on my hips very high


                                       With lasso in my hand
                                       This little cowboy has a plan
                                       

                                  
                                      So all you ghost and goblins
                                      It's candies bounty I'll be coming an robbing

                              
                                      And I'll be taking  loot for mummy
                                      And for my daddy who has a bigger tummy










                                                  Happy Halloween To All
                                   Especially little tikes who are so cute and small





Entry For 
Skat's 
Halloween Costume Contest
G.L. All
                                      

 
                                      
                                       


                                     

                                     
                                       


Details | Epigram | |

Drink Deep

From the well of wisdom drink deep
For soon comes the time to reap

From the sea of folly, merely sip
Or you may reap the title: ‘Full of it!’
~*~


Details | Couplet | |

The Nightmare

.

                                         Being trapped in the poultry pen
                                    With one mad rooster and an old hen


Details | Haiku | |

Haik-HOOT

Wise owl at his post
"hoo, ha, hoo...hoo, hoo, hoo, hooooo"
thus he gives a hoot!


Details | Limerick | |

Oh Snap

<                              amidst afternoon's summer's pose / nap
                                are nana's two little handsome chaps
                                logan and just lucas
                                bonded secured by trust
                                brotherly love now don't make me snap
                                                          
                                                                
                                
                                
                                
                                 
                                 
                                                           
Written By Katherine Stella 5/15/11

Entry For Miranda Lambert's
Brotherly Love Contest
G.L. ALL


Details | Dodoitsu | |

Bumblebees Responsibilities

.
                                       Bumblebees visit Lamb's Ear
                                  Love has surely brought them here
                                        Workers are helping mother
                                             Feed all grubs pupae


Contest:Flowers, Trees, Grass, Bees
Sponsor: Francine Roberts
Choice: Bumblebees


Details | Verse | |

When Grandma takes me to the park

When Grandma takes me to the park!
By Kim Mosteiro
I love when my grandma comes and picks me up to go to the park. We ride in
grandmas car to the park; and grandma sometimes stops on the way and we get ice
cream.......
I like sliding down the slide; grandma waits at the bottom and catches me, or
sometimes she will slide down with me. One day I was swinging, and grandma
pushed me way high, I flew as high as the birds do, it was so much fun!
Grandma taught me how to climb a tree, just like she did when she was little, and
climbed her grandma's tree, to pick apricots for her Grandma's pies! Grandma
pushes me real fast on the merry-go-round; I go round and round and round and it
makes my head dizzy, and then I spin around just like the merry-go-round.
One day we saw a butterfly, it was blue and brown; I chased it and tried to catch
it but it got away. Grandma told me that every time I saw a butterfly, it would
mean that she was thinking about me; and she gave me a kiss and said that's what
it would feel like if a butterfly landed on my nose and kissed me!
But there was one day when Grandma took me to the park and I saw a snake, it
was scary when he shook his tail and it rattled. Grandma said I am to never go
near one and try to pick it up because it can hurt me, it's not like a butterfly. A
snake will bite you and make you sick Grandma says, so I will only chase butterfly's
not snakes.
I can't wait to go to the park again and see what new adventure Grandma and I
will go on.
“Dedicated to my Grandchildren: ADAM, ROSIE, SERENA


Details | Rhyme | |

The Gambling Man

He is a bookies monkey,
A blackjack Joe,
A casino junkie,
A slot machine Moe,

He is a roulette Roger,
A double down Dave,
A betting shop lodger,
A gambling slave,

He is a baccarat Billy,
A poker sharp Pete,
A wily old Willie,
A Charlie cheat,

He is a high stakes Harry,
A dog track Dan,
A lotto Larry,
He is the gambling man


Details | Free verse | |

Park Bench Panhandle

Trees dance
to the song 
of wind.

Shaded
in a disco 
of light and shadow,
king
of good will
welcomes 
compassion 
with a smile 
and cardboard sign.

Upon his wide wooden throne,
a magic hat
taxes
a
bit
of
happiness
from passers-by.


Details | Acrostic | |

New Open Door

R  recline on the sofa, relax in recliner
E  entertain romantic thoughts; life couldn't be kinder
C  cuddle up late in bed, snuggle on couch
Y  you are my love, molded to you; stubble ouch
C  comfy now late in life, free from responsibility
L  love is deep; committment strong_capability
E  enjoying life_the fruit of early struggles
D  determined to fulfill our life together_not burst bubble

T  true to you; constant thoughts
E  envelope you with what love has wrought
E  easy is life sleep late_stay up late
N  now there is a new open door my mate


Details | Monorhyme | |

FACEBOOK DRAMA

to all of you that think facebook is just a game 
posting all your business without any shame 
now dont you think it's just a little strange 
sharing your life with people that only knows you by name  

our profiles has our name and our address too 
now what if someone was actually stalking you 
you really would'nt be that hard to find
and that's a little scary with a world so full of crime

there is always someone out there that just uses this site 
only to find out what you were doing last night
and all this information is available to your kid 
so they can see all that you're doing or did

still you tell all you plan to do 
not realizing everyone who's friends with you 
so next time you post try thinking twice 
do you really want to share everything about your life 

hey you dont have to listen to what i say 
keep posting your life anyway
and we'll just say it was an act of carma 
that you got caught up in this facebook drama


Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | Cinquain | |

RELAX (Cinquain)

 
Sunday
don't have to work
watch football, snack, take naps
Listen to wife gripe  I'm lazy
Fun day


Details | Couplet | |

THIS IS HOW LIFE FEELS WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE

THIS IS HOW LIFE FEELS WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE

I have a general philosophical  precept
Life is in general a bowl of cherries except 
When someone stabs me in the back who didn’t oughta
From a completely unexpected quarter
I mean it’s ok if some dude whom I don’t like or trust
Has a go at me and feels he must
But if my wife tells me I continually bug her with my fidgets 
And then she  runs off with a team of one-legged circus midgets
Or my kids sell their hand-bound volumes of my poems
To buy a ton of horse manure to mix with the garden loams
And even the cat turns down my offer of warm milk
To go next door and sleep on sheets of silk
Or if a poetry contest excludes me simply because my name 
Is unacceptable, maybe because I am black, or lacking in fame, 
Or because I’m Methodist, and  gay, and Republican, and from  East Lansing,
Then I say to myself, well  here’s the thing:
If, along with my poem entry, I’ve  slipped in fifty bucks,
Well then  how can I be excluded?  I mean shucks  -
Rules is rules but when I’ve already paid to be in the winners’ list
I feel I have the right,  and  I just gotta insist,  
Cos midgets and fidgets don’t amount to squat
And sheets of silk or loads of horse manure is a lot
But  my name’s my pride and joy and I am proud to add it
(But I fear to do it again in this contest or I’ve had it),
So in this contest I will remain anonymous
Though I guess the details writ here are just about synonymous 
With a name  I do not dare speak  - at risk of exclusion
But I’m pretty sure this extra fifty bucks will lessen the confusion.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Written  - with great affection -  for
Nancy Jones's   Contest 	"This is how life feels when you get to be my age..."


Details | Prose Poetry | |

CHANGED MY Underwear,------- and My Name

I
change my name 
like 
underwear...
fairly often, I suppose

I 
change my clothes 
like 
area codes
and Imma' damn gypsy, ya' see

I 
keep it fresh ta' death
nada
speck of blood
or 
ketchup on my attire

I 
got more rhymes 
than I got grey hairs
and 
that's an effing lot
because i got my share

I 
digg a 
hot-fire piece of passionate verse
those are 
indeed 
rare to find

YET...
if  only poets would 
unleash the fury 
instead of 
holding back
what's really 
on their mind...

I must say...
the library, 
the internet, 
the etc. etc...
would be a less stinky place...
AND, maybe 
I'd keep my name, and sever ties with 
underwear's elastic,
and just go 
APE-Spit Spastic!~


Details | Limerick | |

Mothers Day

Mothers are the best 
They are like a test
They are very loving 
They like a flower budding
The treat us like a fest.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Life

My life has been varied and long at many things I failed. Aged seven I wanted to be a train driver but that idea was soon derailed. I trained to be an Olympic athlete came last in every race I studied to be a lawyer and lost my every single case I left my job as a crane driver on the day I was hired My stint as a Gigolo left a lot to be desired. I applied to be a hotel porter but was told there was no room and my time as a concert pianist was distinctly out of tune. So I became a writer and dream my time away I can be who or where I want whilst staying in bed all day.
Ken Duddle


Details | Limerick | |

All In The Family

<                          once Edith laid her hot iron flat
                            husband Archie called her his dingbat
                            then son-in-law ~ meathead
                            put iron on dam bed
                            boy fire did make Jefferson scat





Written By 
Katherine Stella 10/30/11
Entry For Techno - Limericks Contest 
To Be Co-Judge  G.L. All


Just Gotta Love That Archie LOL

Note Please Never Leave Your Iron On
Can Really Ruin Your Day Yikes


Details | Free verse | |

Roll Call

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION








Details | Rhyme | |

The Two Women In My Life Who Are Big, Beautiful Reds

                                                                   1.
                                                             Kathleen

Firehaired love of my life;
She's almost all Cab, with a dash of Shiraz spice.
A deep and complicated, earthy wife
Who's ruby sparkle in the looking glass
Lingers long upon my vision, soft and nice;
The All-of-Her bouquet, I cannot pass.

                                                                     2.
                                                                 Susan

She may prefer to drink her Cabs,
But the red-maned lioness is pure Bourdeaux.
Her brightness fills a room, and quickly nabs
Away all weak indifference.
The complexity of her shines and glows;
The product of some special provenance.

                    These ladies make my life divine,
                    An enviable medly of song and wine.
                    They may well land on the "NO FLY" List,
                    For being such charming Terroirists.


Details | Haiku | |

Harvest Festival

aerial viewing
outstretched crows flying frenzy
harvest festival


Details | Free verse | |

An Afternoon Adventure

There have not been very many days in my life
well in fact, this is the only one,
on which I could say “I rode on a donkey cart today.”

Sitting quietly on the porch of my mother-in-law’s home,
typing away on my laptop, a knock came at the gate
and my name was hollered over the fence, an invitation for a ride.

I don’t think there is anything quite like the dirt flying in your face with the wind blowing in your hair, 
and the way the world—(mainly  your poems and your laptop)—
is being swiftly left behind you, with the methodical whack of a donkey’s back with a big heavy stick.


Details | Nonet | |

Little Hell Raisers { Nonet}

<                             I'm going on journey ~ back in time
                               When I should of listened to my .... heart
                               But instead just followed ....  head 
                               What a mistake that .... was
                               Let me tell you .... now
                               Poor old ... lady
                               Didn't ... do
                               Noth ~ ing
                               Wrong !



                              Carrying her groceries home from the ... store
                              Me ~ brother ~ sister ~ brother's ... friend
                              Tossing lit~ firecrackers
                              Laughing ... and .... giggling 
                              Looking ~ for ... trouble
                              And here she ... came
                              Four ..... against
                              Just ... one
                              Wow   !



                              Bet poor old women didn't .... expect
                              Handfull of lit .... firecrackers
                              To be tossed in her own .... bags
                              Others ran like .... dickens
                              I stayed and helped   ...  her
                              Picked up her ... stuff
                              And ... carried
                              Them ... all
                              Home !
                           
                           
                           
                           
Entry For
Linda Marie's
A Journey Back In Time
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Let's Get Ready For Some Football

<                                   let's get ready for some football .....    Ya !
                                     Eagles   verses    da   .....   Bears   Well ... then  Hey !       
                                     Here's kickoff ~ by     da .......    Bears
                                     Ohhhhhhhh !  fell  off ....  T  .....    Unfair
                                     Second  ..... blocked  .....  Eagles    7 - Nay !


                                                                      
                                     
                                     
                                    

                                    
Entry For 
Linda Marie's 
Let's Limerick Contest
G.L. All    



Tribute To Football


Details | Carpe Diem | |

I

If its money I got its money ill keep. If its money I have its money ill weep. If its love that I give its love ill receive. For I am but no one who just see's beneath. Some say your only as strong as you feel, but how could we change..in a place that's so unreal. People are hearing but..not really hearing. Why is the world so blind. I keep on screaming and screaming and screaming for things to be revolutionized. I am just a small song in a world full of cries, laughter, tears and french-fries.


Details | Couplet | |

Sexy Kiss

We share a look from across the room and I saunter into your arms,
No matter how hard I try to defy, I can never resist your charms;

You slip a hand behind my head and drag me into your kiss,
You tantalize my senses as I lose myself to bliss;

Desire takes over my body as you take my breath away,
We stand in utter silence, we’ve nothing left to say;

There is an overpowering smell of whiskey and cheap perfume,
But locked in a passionate kiss, we’re alone in the crowded room;

Your kisses taste so potent, I savor the exotic flavor of you,
Your intoxicating to my senses, like the sweetest morning dew;

Wrapped in a fervent embrace, our bodies meld to form one;
I lose myself to you and it’s only just begun...


Details | Free verse | |

Everybody

Love me tonight girl we won't meet again ,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby, ha ha ha ha,
Let your body decide what it does ,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
I know it's straight to the point,
But I'd rather be straight up and straight forward,
Instead of playing with your heart and your mind,
Games are waste of time, now we can do the nasty,
And do what the do and see what the does,
Either we gonna love what we do to each other,
Or just let it be what it was,
No harm, no foul, no commitment, no vows,
Maybe a contract or two,
But by that time I'm already tired of the way you like it, oh,
And let your body decide, exactly what it does,
But it's no secret baby, everybody fücks,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody fücks,
Now I can hear your body calling me,
Tell me what it is, what's gon be,
Only got one night cause I'm...,
Lil mama is a bad one, ain't she? 
Maybe she might be a little timid,
Love when I get it,
Or I might even give a text when I'm finish,
Been doing all this talking, let's get it,
And you can tell me what you wanna do,
I guarantee you can do that,
Or you can teach me like a thing or two,
But I bet you I already knew that,
So one night one time baby girl,
Let's take this chance,
We ain't trying to be love strung,
But I know that Everybody ****s,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
I know you don't do these type of things on the first night,
We both know it's wrong but fück it cause it feels right,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
Let your body go, let your feeling show,
Say what's on your mind, I already know,
I can read your eyes, see your body sign,
(Every sign you give baby) with a little bump and grind,
Nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Baby there ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
There ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Baby there ain't nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind,
Love me tonight girl we won't meet again,
Don't fight the feeling cause love ain't a sin,
Let your body decide what it does, it's okay baby,
Let your body decide what it does,
It's okay baby cause everybody ****s,
Believe that believe that baby,
Everybody ****s…


Details | Limerick | |

Farting Contests


All little boys like to master the fart Among their peers its considered an art It must be loud To make them proud If stinky, a winner right from the start


Details | ABC | |

The Three Floozies Mary, Flo and Burly (A known Feminist)

Come join the three for another cheap, meaningless day in their lives
They consider themselves to be hip, part of the same sex marriage, Burly the 
husband, Flo and Mary the wives
Their day always starts at the breakfast table bashing  the males that exist 
They wish the males could be on the endangered species list
Sometimes things change among the three, as the estrogen level rises in Burly
Once a month, she wants to be a wife and act very girly
As for Mary and Flo, they think Oprah is hot
Burly thinks Rosie O'Donnell has the goodies she so much has sought
They sip their Busch Beer out of Nascar Coozies
There is no more room for anymore women within the circle of The Three 
Floozies
From their point of view, all men should be women's slaves
Burly  has a strong scent of Old Spice after shave
They love watching domineering women type movies
The popcorn is shared by all Three Floozies
They go out to only all girls clubs
They cheer on the under dogs, their favorite one is the Chicago Cubs
Their closets are full of clothes by Dickies
They leave each other love notes on little stickies
Mary likes champagne on a store brand  soda budget
Flo likes Butterbeans with cumin to make them smell pungent
Burly likes Pickled Eggs and sardines
Burly's favorite movie line is In space no one can hear you scream
Flo's favorite movie line is Go ahead, make my day
Mary's favorite movie line is My name is Chucky, do you wanna play?
Burly dreams of one day wrestlin' steers
Mary is concerned that Burly one day will leave, that's her worst fear
Flo watches the WWE, she is such a loyal fan
Burly uses her forehead to smash empty beer cans
None of you are mothers, so on your peanut butter selection, quit being choosy
Mary, Flo and Burly are today's Three Floozies




Details | Ballade | |

Lisa Maree

Dedicated to my darling daughter. Lisa Maree, the kindest girl in the world


Lisa Maree

Lisa Maree, you baffle me
You just don’t seem to care
You throw your money all around
And people who won’t share
Will try to take you for a ride
And you can’t always see
What some folk try to do to you
You’ve too much trust in thee.

Lisa Maree, it’s plain to see
That you’re a special girl
Though sometimes you go off on one
And mind goes in a whirl
Your heart is gold, pure solid gold
You’re as soft as heated honey
You have a sense of humor too
You even think 'you’re' funny.

Some might find you hard to take
These fickle kinds of folk
Will run you down for being you
And treat you like a joke
But fickle folk don’t mean a thing
You’re far above the rest
When you are helping someone out
That’s when you’re at your best.

23 August 2013 @ 1817hrs





Details | Limerick | |

Quit Your Growling

<          once there was old woman on the prowl
            found younger man and begun to howl
            under silvery moon
            fead him with baby spoon
            now stomach does goo goo gah gah grawls



Written By Katherine Stella


Entry For Dr. Ram's Cougar Effect Contest 
G.L. All                                                                


Details | Quatrain | |

Hey Wait A Minute

Hey! Wait a minute, what's going on
Is this how it's supposed to be
All stooped over, walking with a cane
Always needing to pee 

Told where to go and what to eat
Try so hard not to drool
Remembering days when I was the one
In control, I was so cool

Mom didn't tell me there'd be days like this
Happy in her own little world
She wanted to give me the inside scoop
But her flag became unfurled

All I can say is, I've enjoyed my trip
If I bite the bullet tomorrow
It's all been an absolute downright blast
So don't go showing me sorrow!

© Jack Ellison 2012


Details | Free verse | |

I comb my head

I comb my head 
where hair once was
it rather should be buffed 
     to reflect the beauty of life 
as life does 


Details | Rhyme | |

SEXY AT SIXTY

I was fit and feisty at fifty
It was no big deal
Because that's how half a century
Is supposed to feel.

In my sixties I'll take stock
Start making great plans
Ignoring all the 'you cant's'
And embracing all the 'I cans'.

Can I be sexy at sixty?
and try all the fashions and fads
Wear stockings and suspenders
And Joan Collins shoulder pads.

I can deal with sexy at sixty
And wear Vivienne Westwood clothes
Dress up and go out on the town
Wearing all my buttons and bows.

I'm going to be sexy at sixty
I'll wear Gok Wan lingerie
Find myself a toyboy 
Then maybe lead him astray.

Swift and sexy at sixty
When I get my Jimmy Choos
Dancing the night away
To the sound of Rhythm and Blues.

Oh! I want to be sexy at sixty
'cause age is a state of mind
I'm preparing my body at keep fit
So as not to be left behind.

But first, I have to deal with
Old skin, Bad teeth and Grey hair
Then remove the unwanted growths
From just about everywhere.

Then I'll definitely be sexy at sixty
And undoubtedly done it all
The only problem is that
Most of it I simply won't recall..



Details | I do not know? | |

Ashley For My 4 Year Old GrandDaughter

Petite, dainty,
charming and sweet.
Hair the shade,
of Autumns golden wheat.
Her favorite color, 
"Green" is what she'd say.
"Green as grass"
on a summers day.
Maybe a hairdresser,
she loves cutting bangs and curls.
Two other siblings how lucky,
both girls.
"But oh, mommy, 
can't you see"
"How much more beautiful, they are,
because of me"
Mommy says, 
"What am I to do"
"No matter what,
I still love you"


Details | Free verse | |

Laughter is Indeed the Best Medicine On Hand

A day’s of hard work,
and serious issues to handle,
though some hiccups may arise,
in order to erase these hiccups,
we need to have some fun,
and laughter is only the best medicine,
to cure on these hiccups hands on,
for this, 
we may not travel afar,
just take a look at Indian politics,
quite laughable as it is,
wherein a number of issues,
had come to the forefront,
mostly related to the cap on cylinders,
and the FDI in retail,
wherein a number of politicians,
cast a number of political ambitions,
of becoming the National leader of our Motherland,
but have no concern for the citizens,
living in here,
wherein the bridge between the poor and the rich,
gets wider and wider,
it is not the pursuit of political ambitions, 
which the citizens want in here,
it is the solutions to various problems,
which they want,
and as such there is no politician,
as fit enough for this purpose,
are they really fit enough,
is the question and as laughable as it is,
it is time for the younger generations,
to take the plunge into politics,
wherein they need to cast over their fear,
and political apprehensions, 
and save their dear Motherland India,
from all troubles,
and to make their Motherland into a Paradise!!


Details | Rhyme | |

Introspection

I wake for start of new day to find all nature stirring.
The bumble bee and humming bird around the feeder whirring.
The russet breasted robin has caught the early worm.
He'll feed it to his lady love before the final squirm.

Across the way the flower field is filled with willing workers.
Spring in my valley scurries on, it is no place for shirkers.
Not long ago I too was part of frantic interaction.
I watch with cup of coffee and a sigh of satisfaction.

I've served my time, no need to rise to annoying alarm.
Without me spring will carry on, I've rented out the farm.
The days whern I met life head-on is part of history.
In my newly welcomed leisure I let life come to me.


Details | Lyric | |

See Monkey See

The new year has arrived
With a new format for the brain
Made promises to myself
Made with intentions to keep

All the ones of the past
Now gone with an old year
One now at rest
One I gave all my best

New patterns 
New people
New thoughts
New harbor
New begin 
New me

Now like the old saying
It's time to
"See Monkey See"


Details | Narrative | |

BLOCKHEAD

BLOCKHEAD

Some folks’ say all my life I’ve been a BLOCKHEAD.
Maybe if I could have gotten through that last ROADBLOCK,
news of my incarceration wouldn’t be such a family BLOCKBUSTER.
So here I sit all alone in my CELL BLOCK.
I’m suffering a bad case of WRITERS BLOCK,
without a clue the path my mind should take to UNBLOCK.
By the time I get out of here, I’ll need 100 spf SUNBLOCK.


For the BLOCK-BLOCK-BLOCK contest.


Details | Cinquain | |

Good Night Out

Dead drunk
Partied all night
Tequila and women
Vomiting all over the place
Good night


Details | Dodoitsu | |

Yellow Belly

<                                            Yellow Belly !


                                     Bees, Bees, the dancing machines
                                     Polinatators that bite me
                                     Gift biogenic amines
                                     How you make me swell

                                     Yellow belly tarnations
                                     Clinging Clanging to butt's cheek
                                     Cursing swating and shooing
                                     To sting destroyer



  * Story:    A yellow belly flew into cars window and landed on seat and of course 
                        I had to be the one to roll on it and get stung in butt lol



Written by 
Katherine Stella 4/8/12

Entry for
Linda Marie's
Bite Me Contest 
G.L. All

I Bite 
Destroyer-Poet LOL


Details | Limerick | |

like it or not--it's here to stay

Inventive minds can be inspired  
Great ideas in time may be sired
High fashion and style
Are acquired for a while
But in the brain sex is hard wired


Details | Senryu | |

Menacing Moms

<                                     just look at my son ...
                                 down to size of thirty two
                                 ....    fencing hackling




                                      meat and potatoes ...
                                   leftovers from my mother
                                 ...  well isn't that special



                                     eat sleep and ... running
                                     thats all I will ever see
                                   ...  glad father isn't here




Written by Katherine Stella
For Dr Rams IN-LAWS Contest
Gl All





Details | Lyric | |

The confusing world of Poetry

The confusing world of poetry

Clerihews, and couplets
Acrostics, and Haikus
Me head is spinning round and round
Oh Lord I’m so confused
I’d like to read about the stuff
But I really ain’t got time
I’m too busy trying to write
In rhythm and in rhyme

I never was so very clever
I flunked in all at school
I guess me dad, he got it right
He called me village fool
He tried to make me turn out clever
But he didn’t have a chance
Cause I’m a dreamer through and through
You can see that at first glance.

So I don’t know about complex things
I’m just a simple man
But me, I’ve wrote eight thousand songs
And I’ve done it cause I can
The words roll out like a waterfall
And they come just like they are
And I talk about love, and I talk about life
And the flowers and the stars.

25 July 2013 @ 0925hrs.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Kiss And Tell

<        Heart skips beat
               From boy I meet

                    Palms did sweat
                         Forehead wet

                               Caught me under tree
                                   Lips were placed on thee

                                                    Tomboy no more
                                                           Dresses galore

                                                                        
                                                                 Him 12 and me just 11
                                                                     Match made from Heaven


                                                                           Something went wrong
                                                                                With our love song


                                                                                     Denny O'Neil 
                                                                                       Did like to squeal  

Just Hate It 
When They 
Kiss And Tell 
LMAO


Story is this was my first love intrest
When we moved into our new house
instead of me wanting to beat him up
we instead played football and other sports 
along with his other 4 brothers I always had 
to be the quarterback tho because I had the 
strongest throwing arm of the block


Details | Free verse | |

ITS NOT EASY BEING ME

IT’S NOT EASY BEING ME
I’M THREE
I JUST HAD TO EXPLAIN
TO MY SINGLE MOTHER MARY
WHY I DIDN’T WANT TO CHANGE 
OUT OF MY PINK PJs 
JUST NOW
IT’S A MATTER OF SELF EXPRESSION
IN A POST MODERN SOCIETY
AND THE IMPORTANCE OF PINK 
IN MY LIFE 
AT THIS TIME
IT’S KIND OF A FASHION STATEMENT 
ALL THE GUYS WEAR THEM 
HER GENERATION JUST DOESN’T 
UNDERSTAND US

BUT I DID THANK HER
FOR THINKING 
ABOUT ME

I HAVE TRIED MY BEST TO BE SENSITIVE 
TO HER FEELINGS
I ASKED MYSELF 
WHAT WOULD DR. FREUD DO
IN MY POSITION 
I DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE HER WITH 
ANY PERMANENT SCARS IN HER SUBCONSCIOUS 

DID I MENTION 
THAT 
SHE’S ONLY SIXTEEN AND A TEENAGE QUEEN
THAT SHE HAS HEART TATTOO ABOVE THE CRACK IN HER ASS WITH THE NAME OF SOME GUY JOHN
INSCRIBED IN IT 
THAT JOHN’S GONE  
THAT WE ARE ON WELFARE AND
THAT I THINK SHES GOING THROUGH 
SOME MAJOR CHANGES IN HER LIFE 

OR 
THAT I THINK SHE’S JUST PERFECT AND 
THAT I WANT TO GROW UP AND 
BE JUST LIKE HER


Details | Couplet | |

Aging

Aging

Going down on his knees, the old man
Proposed to  his  petite , pretty  Ann
“I have got two questions, to ask” , said he
“First is whether you will marry me“… 
‘ Yup’, said the girl, ‘what is the next?’ ..
’ Up, will you get me ?’, he winked through his specs.

‘About  old age, the signs are three’,
Said another old one with glee,
“The first one is loss of memory….
The other two … , ‘I forgot, sorry’ ”.

“Let’s go upstairs and make love”, said she
“Hun, choose one, can’t do both” , quipped he.

29 Mar 13
•	Based on some of the jokes about old age.

Contest: BIRTHDAY AND AGING HUMOR
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire


Details | Shape | |

Dad's Gone Fishing

<                                        Well Lets See
                                          If This ~  Will 
                                          Work Out For
                                          All Wonderful              W
                                       Dads Here At Soup        E   F
                                           I                H          N    I
                                          W                A        E       S
                                           I                 P      C         H     
                                           S                P     I            I
                                           H  You All A Y    N             N
                                           F                H  A               G
                                           A                E                    P
                                           T                R                    O
                                           H                E                     L
                                           E                 I                     E T O  CATCH
                                           R                S                      F                   S
                                           S  D  A Y   So                        I  S   H   E  M  O


Details | Rhyme | |

Blame it on the alcohol

4 Dimensional girl
In a 3 dimensional world
I always feel out of sync
So I drink
Funny how wine
Makes me feel fine
Being in this world but not of it


Details | Narrative | |

A Word From Gonzo

Atlantic city had been a haze of slot machines and watred down drinks and loud nightclubs
that often  remendedme what disney land  could have been ifthatdam mouse wasntallowed 
to take over.

Never trust a talking rat.
 I had to go through a hellof a divorce because of it.
Good thing her brother was a lawyer cause  I might have
actully had something left oh well things are overrated like indoor living.
it's hell gettinga good internet connection in a tent.


But enough  time traveling  i had more important issues at hand
like my return and some unpaid parking tickets and that whole 
court case nonsense your place of business  burns down for the fifth time
and people all wanna  get uptight  hey i preffer to moron my lose 
in a casino they said i shoudnt be alone so  im just taking doctors orders.


But i had a deadline and it was almost happy hour the library was gonna be packed.
The subject   true art and  cenorship.
The world around us is totatl chaos so how could you restrict how people expressed 
themselfs.

Heaven forbid little tommy reads a bad word 
while him and and his best friend huff paint  
dear jesus man and i hope they dont play a violent video game.
Sure susan  go  have random sex with guys of fthe internet 
but dont read no cuss word on a poetry wed site 
you just might drop dead where you stand.

Its kinda like running a asylum and pretending that everyone there
isnt totally nuts.
No sir lets ignore the real world cause lord knows people 
cant filp on the tv   and see murder rape fires and war ya gotta 
love kids programing.

You cant restrict art for if it"s all the same cookie cutter stuff.
Then is it truley art or just a pretty dellusion.
Ignore the world and it'll run you over.

Life good bad  traggic is ment to be shared 
the secrets of the soul can rattle in that closet till 
madness breaks that perfect image we put.
but what I know.

Never restrict your mind for you will sufficate the soul.
stay proud and crazy forever 
Dr Gonzo


Details | Quatrain | |

An Invite

An Invite


Now son, I think you’re sneaky,
not just lying for my good.
Your cover-up was cheeky,
I’m not blind or wear a hood.

A nursing home’s not for me
nor assisted-living room,
I’m keeping my own money
and that place is not my doom.

I’m old but like strip poker,
karaoke makes me high,
known as practical joker,
kind of partial to the rye.

I raised a suited dandy
that’s so rigid in his ways.
Yeah, schooling came in handy
cause you left for longer stays.

So son, you have your answer,
I’m not going anywhere.
I’ve hired a belly dancer
for my party if you dare.

It might be my last birthday,
if you come, you must have fun.
Your sister’s having her way
bringing beer and loaded gun.

The gun is for my present,
it’s protection I don’t need.
So come and let’s be pleasant
and we see where it will lead.



Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Stop Look And Listen

<                                               Look !
                                  Look deep into my eyes
                                 You are getting sleepy ~ sleepy
                                 By the Ring Of The Bell 
                                 You'll get up and Light The Candle
                                 Ring    ~~~~~~~~~~      Ring
                                 Now walk walk towards the sound of my voice
                                 Now kneel Kneel down by this stone fireplace
                                 Now wrap wrap those loving arms around me
                                 Now kiss kiss me on this waiting neck
                                 Now Don't Don't stop until I Close The Book


Written By 
Katherine Stella 10/21/11


Details | Grook | |

Gotta Run Down to the Store -

DAMN it, you stupid old fart!
Why did you pull out THAT cart?
That cart with the wobbly front wheel
And it squeaks! (How embarrassed I feel)
Oops...beg your pardon sweet ma'am
Yes, I know who I think that I am...
(Crash) Oh good god mercy me
"CLEAN-UP ON AISLE NUMBER THREE"


Details | Haiku | |

Ant

ant crawling in the gasket of freezer... chilling out ant seen by me.. short life


Details | Light Poetry | |

My Captcha Code

My captcha code was: Eff You See Kay,
a bit rude now, wouldn't you say!?

On the homepage of this wonderful site,
one of the examples of unacceptable content is:

Profanity (Curse words or Abbreviated Curse words)


The captcha code isn't part of our work or creativity,
yet I still view this breach of conduct as hypocrisy.

Is the captcha code exempt from the restriction?
This form of elitism is causing me great friction!

This bad behaviour might start rubbing off on me....
....on him, her and also them, you just wait and see!


And not only is the captcha code typing a word
that rhymes with truck, luck, duck and hockey puck,
but the most recent captcha code was: Eff You Kay You!
Now, the bloody captcha code is telling me to Eff off, too!







September 22nd, 2011
All Rights Reserved by Chris D. Aechtner, 2011




Details | Limerick | |

A Sly Teaser

At a time inconvenient it teases,
As it comes whensoever it pleases.
Creeping ever so sly,
It will make you yell, "Why?!"
And the thing that I speak of is sneezes.


Details | Free verse | |

Cell block, boredom knocks

Checking the heart beat now and then
It did not ranged since so very long
Ah! My best friend my smart phone
How it u lost the way to tele signals
Cell block since past two big days
Looks as if the date is of earth end
Checked clock all fine with world
Just my smart life came to bad pause
Cell block as if life is boring of all
Buttons all dying screen screaming
No messages or calls or even alert
Cell block makes it go so dull chap
Yeah can listen songs but how long
Want to chat with friends like silly
Cell block please come back to life.


Details | Sijo | |

Oh Wolverine

 December 12.2012


The scales are balanced, great joys ,vast heartache, deep rooted love.

Age withered appetite ,no food, nor travel desired, memories rekindle want ,but not drive.

A weekend with Hugh Jackman can surely re whet my palate, oh wolverine on high!

Brenda Atry December , 2012


Details | Sonnet | |

Kiss This

<                              master of disguise menacing havoc
                                I fear not your pronged fork and wooden stick
                                but one illuminates from presents sight
                                tis I carries master key whom ends plight


                               brushstroke if must with your evilness twist
                               for I stand strong from an Hevenly bliss 
                               poke and probe away with your woven schemes
                               tis I'll be the one laughing though it seems 


                               your inferno fire from gates of hell
                               diminished by just one shake from this bell
                               so bring on your barriers and good grief's
                               tonight I'll be the one with good night's sleep 


                               sowing not fear of satin's smitten grasp
                               but turning check telling to kiss thy ass




Entry For
Thvia Shetley's
The Devil Made Me Do It
Sonnets Only Contest
G.L. All


Details | Rhyme | |

Not Sofa King Cool


          A
College Dorm sleeps
Four per room
Keg party 
Loud
Too much Boom

           A
Drunk freshman sleeps
Where he falls
Coeds toss him on 
The sofa 
Instead of snooze in
the halls

            A 
Sorority girl 
Named him  
“Sofa King Tool”
Now he feels like a Fool
Not Sofa King Cool


Details | Rhyme | |

Quit My Job, Smashed My Car

Quit my job, smashed my car
My back does throb, need to learn guitar

So I can make, a silly song
And I can sing, it all day long
About how, my God is strong
So that even now, nothing’s wrong

Even though, I quit my job
smashed my car, my back does throb

Life is hard, but I’ve got God
So I won’t let any thought
Any worry or fear
Convince me you’re not near

Even when, I quit my job,
Smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I won’t sob
I need to learn guitar


Details | Limerick | |

Money And Life

All the gold in Thomaston
Is in fancy banks uptown, hun
There are two on the square
Just waiting to use lair
To capture your funds then you're done


(Our town is drying up
Today I noticed that
it only seems that
the banks are prospering.)


Details | Rhyme | |

SOUP Spoonin'

Online tonite
looks like 
a whole lotta' spoonin'
goin' on in the "Soup"

nosin' around the comment coral
I see love 
amongst the group

yessir'...
hot Soup!
stirred 
not shaken
marriage scent in the air
no fakin'

where it leads...
we shall see
I know some 
are dippin' crackers in the "Soup"
but Lawd' knows 
IT AIN'T ME!~


Details | Limerick | |

Miss Priss

<                           once there was a boss we called miss priss
                             like to give orders with snap of wrist
                             file fax make coffee
                             phones radio golly
                             when not looking I blow her big hiss


Details | Limerick | |

THE SLOTH

His life is an Epic story in a tragic playlet 
He is the one person who opens wares an hour after the market 
He comes to town a day after the fair 
Running back home with the aim of catching a wild breed Hare

He "holds hard" after the shot has left the gun 
He locks the stable after the herd is all gone 
He won't die, though he is of no use alive 
His life, like that of a typical dreamer who carries water in a sieve 

He is Mr. Everything married to Mrs. Nothing 
They are born to rest and they are living to sleep 
Both of them, a typical breed of St. Judas
They cover their well after their children are drowned and left in the deep

They are always busy ploughing the air when their field is waist high in weed
Busy! They are at the old farm 
Bringing up buckets of water
After the last pillar of thier house is burnt down 
Still, they realize not that they are a living corpse.


Details | Senryu | |

...cocoa brown acorns

cocoa brown acorns
wait patiently chortling...
whoops man down


Details | Rhyme | |

This is Who I Am

What best describes my character?
Well that's a question and a half.
I'm handsome, tall, and brilliant,
and I know how to make folks laugh.

I really have a great physique.
I don't make no mistakes.
Everyone looks up to me.
Why not for goodness sakes?

I'm about as good as a guy can be,
of that there is no doubt.
I've been brave, clean, and reverent,
ever since I was a scout!

I'm absolutely void of flaws.
I never take no blame,
'cause nothin' ever is my fault,
that's why I'm held in high acclaim.

Well, all that stuff's a bunch of bull!
I lied to get your attention!
The thing I feel is my best trait,
I really haven't mentioned.

The trait that I'm most proud of,
that I rely on every day,
is my Cautious Optimism. 
Whatever I am faced with, things will be O.K.

Whenever there's a crisis,
I try to keep a level head.
I don't get pessimistic or depressed.
I stay Cautiously Optimistic instead!


Contest:  Love Me Why?
written by:  Ralph Taylor






Details | Free verse | |

Homework... What homework?!?

The clock strikes nine. Ink fills the night sky, until the silvery orb in the heavens is the only source of light. 
The clock strikes twelve. Tiny pinpricks of light dot the raven-dark heavens. They shine brightly; as if each was 
trying to outdo the last. I sit. And stare. And wonder. The clock strikes three. I shift and pick up my 
homework. The assignment is a three page essay, due today. Should I do it? Nah... I toss it aside and resume 
my staring of the sky.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Looking at Me

Ma! He’s Looking At Me! Make him stop! MA! He’s LOOKING at ME!
And so goes life in the early morn. Two ragamuffins, in battle, and angry.
He touched me! He touched me first! He’s looking at me! Here we go, again.
Two children acting badly, as I stare them into submission, momentarily, amen.

While cleaning up after breakfast… they’re now running through the house.
Heaven should ever forbid, that they’d once, just once, be quiet as a mouse.
The second they come around me, I step out clearly between them, in their way.
Children can be exhausting in the antics, they find readily, that they can display.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love them, as one just skidded into the dog, in his way.
At this it’s a time out, and when finished different toys, in different rooms, horray!
But life is never that easy, as one tries to sneak past me, while he’s on the attack.
It’s just a simple bundle of energy, driving them, that, they never do seem to lack.

But every day there’s always an answer, to every prayer, that I have ever sent.
My sons had wound up the cats, and now are playing with them, till they’re spent.
Yes, you’re right it wasn’t my sons, and yes, it truly was their playful little cats.
Surely you didn’t think my sweet, darling, little children, would ever act like that?

In fact, once upon a time, you know, that of course, they actually did.
But they are past the terrible two’s now, and definitely more refined kids.
But as they head out, to catch the bus, one barrels past the other to the door.
Then he runs back skidding into the chair, as I hold the lunch out, he ignored.

Then the other, gives a push so fine, to tell him to hurry or they’ll be late.
But laughter rings out, as the girl next door, joins them, sweetly at the gate.


CSEastman 2-11-2013 Contest: Maybe I'm Amazed


Details | Alliteration | |

Becky Bubble Brown

Becky Bubble Brown builds a beautiful bungalow before
Beyonce Baker in buffalo boulevard.In buffalo boulevard
Becky Bubble Brown builds a beautiful bungalow before
Beyonce Baker;But Becky Bubble Brown got blown with
a bomb in her bubble bath.






*this is real tongue twisting~~Bubbling Becky Brown got blown with a bomb 
in her bubble bath.


Contest:"Big Kid Tongue twister"
Sponsored by Gwendolen
3rd place win


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Meeting the Soupers

Have I got clean socks on?

I really must be sure

I wouldn't want my souping buds

To smell the green manure

That pile I trod in earlier

It really was a stinker

It's crucial that

My new compadres

think that I'm a thinker.

(And NOT a heavy drinker)


Details | Rhyme | |

Mrs Hemorrhoid

You messed around 
and married a real 
"pain-in-the butt" man 

known throughout the land 
for ripping
burning 
completely deserting 
then leaving 
women hurting

his only claim to fame 
is over reacting 
and lacking class
a self-proclaimed pain in the ass
a crook with line 
and hook to cast 

things will never be the same
trade away your maiden name 
to Mrs. Hemorrhoid 
and wear his name with class.


Details | Rhyme | |

Pre-Lit Trees


PRE-LIT TREES

Pre-lit Christmas trees are great
As long as all of the lights burn
But when the lights begin to go
There's a lesson to be learned

Though you admired your pre-lit tree
So beautifully all decked out
When the lights go out, the glow is gone
And your wife begins to pout

So off to Wal-Mart for replacements
Which you must carefully thread
Among the ornaments and pre-lit strands
Where all the lights are dead

After the holidays have passed
The tree now must come down
Minus all the pre-lit bulbs
Once all the connections are found

You finally get them off the tree
In a tangled mass on the floor
Dare you try to test them
To see if they'll burn any more

You decide the trash bin is better
And my advice to you would be
Save yourself some trouble
Don't buy a pre-lit tree 


	Curtis Moorman
	6 January 2012


Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever Read

Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!


~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby

They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" -  how mean!!~~~

Piggy asks him if
There are other people on 
The island with 'em

He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear - 
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??

You'll see...

Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!



Details | Rhyme | |

Perfect Circle Piston Rings

The Perfect Circle Plant was where most kids went to work as a general rule,
To begin a life of donkeywork upon graduation from the local school.
I dreamed of things far beyond the horizon like visitin' Rome or Istanbul,
Not a life of drudgery in the plant or plowin' corn behind a ploddin' mule!

I suppose I could've gone to work there, married and had a flock of kids,
But such a mundane life would've driven me to booze, landin' me on the skids!
They made expansion rings and such for airplanes, ships and tanks.
Not for me!  I chose the Air Force!  For that I've always given thanks!

While I enjoyed the beauty of Bermuda (where I 'fought' the Korean War),
My peers were waitin' for quittin' time, performin' their borin' chore!
I reckon they made about five bucks an hour turnin' out expansion rings.
I only made a hundred bucks a month, but it paid for my youthful flings!

I just couldn't see myself turnin' nuts and bolts and payin' union dues,
Or catchin' hell from the ol' lady for stoppin' by the pub for some brews!
While I was dinin' on steak and sippin' Tom Collins' at the Plantation House,
My pals back home were eatin' meatloaf and listenin' to their spouse's grouse!

I hasten to say that the Perfect Circle Plant provided my friends with needed work,
But operatin' a planer or lathe eight hours a day would've driven me berserk!
Should I have taken Dad's advice and hired on at the plant had I to do it over?
Nah!  I wanted to get off the farm and leave the county 'cause I'm an avid rover!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Couplet | |

Writer's Block

You know what I hate about writer’s block,
How my creativity is hidden behind a lock;

Time ticks away as I stare at my screen,
My heart beating faster from the strain of caffeine;

The cursor flashing lulls me to doze,
Til a fly lands smack on the tip of my nose;

I swing at the fly and glance at the clock,
How did 10 AM turn into 5 O’clock;

I stand and I stretch and then walk away,
And say goodbye to another wasted day;

Maybe tomorrow will inspire my brain,
Or I could be slowly going insane…


Details | Alliteration | |

Not for the finicky or fainthearted

My mind is experiencing a fastidious flatulence; slightly fiendish, and not for the
finicky or fainthearted. 
I fidget amidst it's fanatical far-fetched farce yet stand fearless, watching it's face
flounder in a foolhardy feeble-minded foible. 
With fervor I say farewell forever to it's festering, feverish fetish, as it's frantic
fiasco foams, flails and finally fails.

http://lovestruehome.com/


Details | Haiku | |

Johnny Come Blow Your Horn

pillar of trumpets
are no match in a garden
for the hummingbird


Details | Narrative | |

The unforgettable rant from a drunk Lady contest

It is five minutes to two
I don’t know what to do
It looks like I'm the last person this evening before you close
But can I have another, and possibly a minute to expose
You must get this often you’re really sweet
Cute as a button, to bad I don’t cheat
You see I am procrastinating to get back to my house
I live with a man; no he is not my spouse
Five long years, do you care that I share
Oh hun, watch out a flies in your hair
But seriously, it’s bad; we fight all the time
I haven’t the courage to tell him I am sick of his kind
Do you have a woman? oh you must you’re so cute
So what do you think should I give him the boot?
Oh and work is getting to me, my boss in always on my case
Sir what’s your name again? you have a mighty fine face
Can I get one more? that will be all
Good thing I live down the block in case I trip and fall
Can I give you some advice; you should finish your degree
You don’t belong here at this hour serving me
Last year I went away, when I got back I caught him cheating
I gave this guy one serious beating
Oh look it is raining
Am I complaining?
I know it’s time to move on
But it’s hard when someone is finally gone
Do you work every night?
Could you lower the lights?
I am getting a headache
Last night I went to a wake
It was my Coworkers sons, girlfriends, Aunt,
I am sorry did I just go on a rant?
What are you doing after work?
You must think I am a jerk
OH NO here come the tears!!!
Sir, it’s been so many painful years,
Why can’t I just leave him?
What is wrong with me?
can I get just one more, my glass is empty,
Wait, what are you doing?
Is that coffee I smell brewing?
Are you shutting the bar down?
I see no one is around in this town,
OH no I just dropped the glass on the ground
Boy!!! that made a really loud sound
Let me pick that up
I’ll buy you a new cup
That’s all I seem to do, clean and cook,
I deserve better right? I read it in Dr.Phil's new book,
Sir, where are you going?
Did you tell me your name?
OH I don’t feel well, can I puke in your drain?
Much better, oops sorry, I made a mess
This was a new dress,
Thanks for listening,
Did I tell you you’re cute?
I bet you make a tone of loot
My man has no job
and he wonders why I'm a bitter snob
Ok Im leaving, its late my new friend,
what did you say your name was again?
I want your number, Let me get a pen
Oh no my purse fell all over the floor
Sir Sir, did you just slam the door?

“I am not a sir, I am a Woman, and you need to Go the hell Home!!! ”

By: SNK
Contest: 
wriiten 10/21/11


Details | Than-Bauk | |

Drunkers' sentiments

Drink while alive
Leave your thrive, drink
Man's life is short

Hard work brings ache
Cold beers break stress
Pal, make your choice

Time's wing flies by
You work die-hard
We try drink well

When death arrives
When all drives cease
Whose lives well lived? 


Author: Joseph Osita
For Dr Ram's 'Than Bauk contest'


Details | Haiku | |

Environmental Muggers on the Loose

Just in: Reported 
Thefts of fresh air leave victims  
Of B.O. gagging!


9/16/11

Received 3d place in "Make Me Laugh" contest
Received 5th place in "any Haiku will do" contest


Details | Rhyme | |

Call the Doctor

Some people give you butterflies
When staring deep into your eyes,
Or cause peculiar palpitations
Just from your kindly conversations,

But when you're on my mind it seems
You take these feelings to extremes,
One look at me and suddenly
My insides burst with ecstasy,

My tummy's tight, giddy and wild,
Yet nauseous like a seasick child,
This squeezing feeling in my chest
Like carnal cardiac arrest,

Can't fill my lungs with breaths so brisk,
These cramps feel like I've slipped a disc,
One simple smile caused this to start,
It can't be healthy for my heart,

I bump into lampposts and bars
And stroll in front of speeding cars,
You pull me back, check I'm okay
My brain falls out so I can't say,

This strange effect you have on me
Just proves that we are meant to be,
But 'til I work out a prevention
I may need medical attention.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Novel Idea

I am tired of holding all those negative feelings inside
In the near future I will be penning my first novel
I have a spot destined as the main character that with pride
I will pen all those emotions that have  shovel

And you my friend if you want a spot as a character role
Just keep on fueling these bitter angry emotions that I hold
I will probably will give you the leading spot as the sole
Character that will have all the negative traits that I see in you so bold

I know that it will sell several million copies as the best 
Horror work that has ever been written
For you will be like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde at rest
And change into Dracula that was bitten

One stricken with schizophrenia or bi-polar at its worst
That is what I would write this character who is pushing my buttons
And causing all these angry repressions while smiling about to burst
Do you want to be this character that will be like Mrs. Robison's ___

(This is not an original idea for I have heard and seen it before
I do not know who to credit the idea to ..Since it is not being 
published, I guess it doesn't matter...)


Details | Personification | |

Black Widow

She's got a plan
just moved to Florida
one week in the hole
a forced proposal...

"yeah...
uh...
maybe if I get a job with insurance;
we'll get married...
then you'll have insurance too!"

a bribe
the spider web is officially constructed
"Charlotte's web"
no...we'll name it
the Black Widow!


Details | Monoku | |

Heartbeat Is A Love Beat { Broken Monku }

<                 seventh grade third hour spelling teacher
             

                                    heartbeat is just a silly love beat








Tribute To
Teenage Crushes
On Teacher's LOL


Details | Limerick | |

Who Let The Dogs Out ? { The DogGone Dog Contest}

<                              tell me now   Who ! Who ! ~  Let The Dogs Out ?
                                bet Carolyn pulling them by snouts ......
                                fleas ...  ticks....  she started to itch /////
                                screaming  sons of  a  ....... b .i...t...c....h
                                poor neighbor's dog now takes different route
                               
                                
                                
                                
Entry For
Andrea Dietrich's
The DogGone Dog Contest
G.L. All


Details | Rhyme | |

Geez Louise sneeze Louise Geez sneeze

Louise would you please,
Sneeze in your elbows sleeves.
Geez Louise, don’t even wheeze.
Louise, seize it at the knees.
Louise do not sneeze a breeze.
Be at ease, no spreading disease.
Louise your body has the keys.
Maybe you’re allergic to bees.
Please Louise, stay still; freeze.
Louise, you are blowing cheese.
Louise, be careful with these.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Just Can Not Win

There was a day, oh so clear… I took my newly trained dog for a walk.
Just as I left the house… a rabbit came by, and yes, we were off.
My dog took off quite fast… as he ran the rabbit under a car.
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win… but I’m still alive, so far…

Then a squirrel crossed the street… for in a tree, to hide.
Clearly we had to follow… as cars swerved to miss us in their ride
I was very grateful that day… to find every thing still intact.
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win…as a friend, helped us from a limb, well cracked.

Next the mailman rounded the bend… in his small-motorized truck
I sure am glad he got away… but again, me… not so much.
I can attest to my dog’s health… As we ran a mile in record time…
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win… as a fire truck came roaring by.

Now don’t you worry so very much… we survived, yet, again?
And as all settled down, I was so glad… till the rain came rumbling in.
Since lightening and thunder scare him so… we made it home, in record time.
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win… as from under the door I climbed.

The dinner table had been set… as I hurried from the door.
Dinner will be late; I have to explain… as I now cleared it from the floor.
A walk always develops an appetite… I mused, as I began to explain doggy house laws.
Yep, you guessed it… I just can’t win…  as the turkey lay between his paws.

The trainer assured me my dog’s well trained… though with a small attention span
Training’s gone well, he said, again… though he looked like a crazed stuntman.
Yep, you guessed it… He couldn’t win…as he gave me, my money back 
A little chagrinned… he sent me on my way, with several tons of luck.

There’ll probably be another moment or two… with my beloved Great Dane.
But that’s to be expected… from a 100 lb puppy that’s almost potty trained
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win... But Don’t Worry, we’re doing well… 
OOOPS, the doorbell rang… here we go again, for another time…

But know, eventually he will grow up… and by then we’ll be just fine…


Details | Haiku | |

T-A-I-L-S of DRECK

Burdened by your love,
wherever you go or why,
you rooked for money.

Buck… your nowhere ex,
he jobbed me for your money.
Oh dreck…We be broke!


For the H-E-A-D-S OR T-A-I-L-S CONTEST 


Details | Tanka | |

Unzipped

The pocketbook Thrown upon The car seat Hangs precariously Unzipped
First attempt at Gogyohka Haven't a clue if correct


Details | Narrative | |

Wobbling to Mount Everest

Grumbling,rumbling and Wobbling my pen moves on the white paper,staggering as it strides onthe line Gush!it belches as horrible sound comes out from its tip,the lines are blur and twinkle stars appear.I am drunk No!not me its my pen,different thoughts flow into the mind beclouded by mundane things repelled by celestial beings Why!why am I here grumbling;I need to write to my glover or lover to join me in this journey to the peak of mount Everest where I`m at the top of my write,did I say write,Oh no!right yes!right now,Think of singing lovely vibes to your sweet g~~lover on the top of the tower with all your power for her to pick a drawer,Yes a drawer Stop interrupting pen...Am I confusing you no! not me it`s my drunken pen Not drunk just being funky eventhough I`m not pinky,My pen sip~sip more brandy so as to be more randy and not candyd.....avalanche of words pouring like tsunami hurricane and tornado Enough! enough I need to be free from this possessive pen spirit~of  al~~co~~hol~~Blank~~blank~~blank...Black out~~back down...P~O~a~r~~inks spreading all over my paper Oh no!stench,stench of vomits~What a quagmire


CONTEST:"Drink drunken pen drink!!!" sponsored by Elliott Bowe


Details | Free verse | |

Character

Light of day
brings
a visitor.

Magnificent, 
grey-haired 
bastard
from 
nowhere
but here.

Banters at me,
"There is a
plan for you."

With hands spread
illustrates,
"From birth
to death..."

Pauses
and waits 
for me.

Then in revelation,
"and in between..."

Comes the promise,
"is life."


Details | Rhyme | |

I Just Can't Win

I Just Can’t Win
I pay taxes all year long and still the IRS grins
Knowing any profits I make will go to them
Spending money on the lottery- a one in a million shot
Buying a hundred dollars in magazines but Publisher’s Clearing House never knocks
Slaving all day at mopping the floors and vacuuming the rugs
Then having four little ones drop their ice-cream with fudge
How about buying a new car-being so proud and delighted
Then driving off the lot having its value deflated
Having season tickets to the Chicago Cubs
Never to win a World Series and this really bugs
Being sick and going to the doctor is right
But when you have no insurance, the bill is out of sight
But the worst of all is entering this poetry contest
When knowing I just can’t win even though I do my best


Details | Didactic | |

That Word

            f.@+$

That word
What does it mean?
Is it to glean?
Or
To 
Cause a ravine or seam
Or
To tritely inflict 
The mean-
-ing
Of a theme

It seems 
To 
Me
That such a thing
Is small
And 
Has little
To bring
Or
To 
Ring
Yes, much less
To
Sing

Nothing to suggest
Or 
To cause 
To
Keep abreast
But
Overt
In it's
Suggest 
Of
What words 
One
Can’t bring
To mind’s crest
And thus
Attest
A 
Vagueness of wit

…at best.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Maid of Honour's Speech

I know the Maid of Honour’s duties do not include a speech,
But looking at the perfect Bride, a vision in gold... and peach,
I couldn’t let the moment pass, without the chance to say,
How perfect for each other you are, on this your wedding day.

We’ve been friends forever, in school you were a brat,
But now you’re older, more mature and getting rather fat!
I know you really hate me; the proof is in the dress,
This thing you chose to put me in, it really is a mess!

Bows and ruffles everywhere, however could you think,
That a mature twenty eight year old could pull off vivid pink?
I know your gown is hideous, but even with that said,
There’s still no reason why the other bridesmaids are in red.

It’s clear to all that your wish for me was just to look a show,
And as it is your special day, I thought I’d let it go.
You’d always seemed to find it hard to find the perfect man,
You sat and watched all of your friends find theirs and formed a plan.

You tried it on with who they’d found until you had a date.
And so you lost a fair few friends? You’d found yourself a mate!
And in the groom you’ve found a man who over flows with love,
And through the trials that lie ahead, he’ll help you rise above.

With hugs and kisses he’ll shower you and have a few to spare,
In fact I saw him earlier, canoodling with Claire!
Honey, don’t react like that, he’s a jerk, I know it’s true,
But remember that you first hooked up, at our engagement do.

A leopard cannot change its spots, or so the proverb says,
And you told me you only married him for money anyway!
But then again you always were a shallow two-faced cow,
And why on earth should you decide to change your ways right now?

So ladies and gentlemen please join me, raise a glass,
To the spiteful two-faced Bride, and her two-timing Ass!


Details | Couplet | |

Look Mom No Hands Couplet Challenge

<                                           I really hate to do laundry
                                             Why can't it be hands free ?


Details | Free verse | |

My Birthday Suit

Birthday comes once in a year 
It comes every year of your life 
A reminder of the day you came to be 
A day you truly know nothing about 
But a day you are truly celebrated. 

My birthday comes on the seventeenth 
I was seventeen on the seventeenth 
The day was unique because of the numbers 
Got a unique birthday gift from my Dad 
My birthday gift a special birthday suit. 

On my special suit on my special day 
I looked pleasant and radiant 
My friends all complimenting my suit 
As the birthday boy I reveled in encomiums 
I exude the aura of a royal prince. 

My friends in their exuberance popped drinks 
I was bathed in drinks of different tastes 
My birthday suit did come to ruins 
My birthday suit just for my birthday 
Truly a special gift for a special birthday.


Details | Haiku | |

Thirsty

Laps up cool water
Lifts up head
Get off the toilet!


Details | Prose Poetry | |

An OD Pen

That pen just lies there on the pale white blank pad page__no activity; that sorry pen has O D on something dangerous_passed out_hardly breathing..Come on pen sit up_here sip on this strong coffee..That's it click, look around, life is active, inviting_write it down..Come on now_here eat up of these grits and red-eyed gravy; now that is an eye opener..You've slept through the last rose of summer that was deep burgundy long stemmed on the bush.  You missed that lucious kiss under the pale pink rose  that on the trellis grows.  Winter is coming on, sober up, get busy for you missed the Hummingbird sip nectar from the Wild Petunia then fly away leaving hundreds of Yellow Butterflies to get intoxicated upon its blooms..So you say you are awake now..Here let me kiss you beautiful ink flowing 'pon the page!


I think my pen OD on chocolate though!!!

Sponsor: Joann Grisetti
Contest: Drunken Pen Round 2


Details | Verse | |

How The West Was Won

<                         O ye how the west has gone won
                           now wipe those trails of tears my son
                           dance the ring of fire for fun
                           speak and learn native ways
                           learn not to speak with riffles gun
                           rustle bacon beans  Hey !






Written By Katherine Stella 7/3/11


Entry For Dr Ram's 
Rime Couee's Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

I'm Cuckoo For Coco Puffs

<                      once was an  cuckoo bird named Sonny
                         tagging along gramps as first  gunny
                               shooting up cereal bowls
                     with dark puffs @@@ nice ~ and ~ slow
                            Oh how trix rabbit did so runny  






Entry For Poets Destroyer 's
Your Favorite Cereal Limerick
GL All                                  


Details | Rhyme | |

Mask Of A Fool

I often used to wear a mask
Because it really made me feel cool
One day I saw myself wearing that mask
Then realized,it made me look like a fool

I had started wearing this mask on weekends
Together,with all of my friends
As long as I had that silly mask on
The laughter,never would end

Then found myself wearing it
Like Thursdays after work
I would put it on after a little while
Sure enough,the smiles were soon to perk

Friday,Saturday and Sunday too
Originally wasn't part of the plan
But the fun I was having, with that mask on
Was definitely getting way out of hand

Slowly I began to stop wearing it
So all these people could see the real me
The drunken man, who wore the mask of a fool
Who's conscience was finely set free

Sometimes I have thoughts of when I wore it
Wondering if the laughter could still be had today
But then remember that day,and the fool I had seen
Which reminds me of why,I threw that silly fool's mask away


Dan Kearley 7-18-11
(17)


Details | Rhyme | |

All Alone In Heaven

When I climbed out of my bed today
The first thing that I wanted to do was pray
Thinking of all the foolish things I had done
All being done in the name of such good fun

I tried to live out a happy,and joyous life
Found a highschool sweety,that is now my wife
Every year has always been truely such a blast
Each new one usually,being better then the last

We now live in a town,where we both went to school
Back then this town was always,the coolist of the cool
I guess that is why we decided to stay
Never even thinking about,ever moving away

My life in a flash,has seemed passed me by
Getting older now,the time just seems to fly
Honey I hope to stay with you,in your heart and mind
As I slowly reach the end,of my lifelong line

If I go to heaven,I will try to save a spot for you
So you better make sure,that you will go there to
Don't leave me sitting up there,by myself all alone
Wondering where in the heck,has my sweety flown



Dan Kearley:9-23-11



Details | Free verse | |

Super box

look up in the sky information in the air able to leap over tall buildings information everywhere more speed than a locomotive more bytes than a mosquito stuffing my box
cramming my brain hope it will rain to slow it down for a nano-second so that I can take a 
breath knowing that the machine can’t breathe           yet!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Granny Tipping

My son is getting older, and he just went back to College, the other day.
But he had enjoyed the summer, by adding a new game to his daily play.
He called it Troll Tipping as daily he targeted another, and wore him out.
By dinner, the Troll would fall asleep, as my son claimed his dessert, so devout.

But wearing out a Troll, is not such an easy thing, so many a night, a Troll got his.
What a shame! But as a resourceful college man, at devising plans he was a whiz.
He offered them a Fun Filled Tip, yes, a way to get others, to do their daily chores.
The cost to each individual Troll, was their sweet dessert, that night, nothing more.

He was doing great, as he ran thru many a Troll, but then our suspicions did unfold.
You see, this bred unrest, as a number of fights started, amongst our beloved Trolls.
Scheming isn’t sharing, so Grandpa Troll had a TALK, life changing, or so it’s told.
But Boys are boys, and desserts were to be had, so he made a new plan, quite bold.

You might say he invented Granny Tipping, yes, now it was MY dessert, on the line.
Now this would be quite simple, for at my age, I can easily, become tiredly inclined.
But the one thing he’d forgot: is how crafty age had made this old one, in her efforts. 
As dinner wound down, I cued Grandpa Troll, to help deliver, those delicious desserts.

I told my son, that they were made to be his favorite, simply in honor, of his behalf.
Then I pretended to fall asleep, and he quickly took my dessert, with a joyous laugh.
Then suddenly his eyes grew big! And I awoke, looking him quite clearly, in the eye.
I lied that, I added laxatives and terrible cod liver oil, to my dessert nightly, yes, so sly. 

Making them easier to swallow, but if he wanted more dessert, he only had to ASK.
He quickly sped away, to wash that terrible taste, out of his mouth, a daunting task!
And we all had our chance to laugh at him… as the joke was finally on him, at last.
I call this, Bad Behavior Tipping, and from that day to this, he asks for more, at last!

The game seemed to lose its luster that day, yes, manners did a BIG, comeback.
The moral is to politely ask… Playing clever little games… is NEVER for the best!


Details | Rhyme | |

The Yorkshireman

Now ma mate Geoff's a Yorkshireman,
A Doncaster lad, born n bred,
Full o' fun but thick in t'ead,
Now ah can say this wi'out insultin',
'cos e's me mate an we gerron great,
Ah calls 'im rotten when we're in t'shop,
an 'e gi's it back, n thinks 'e's on top.
I'm a Lancashire lad, born n bred,
'e sez ahm same, thick in t'ead,
Insults we chuck alt' time at each other,
But Ah loves 'im like 'e were me brother.
Anyone comes wi' insult for 'im
As ter get past me an' that would be grim.
Ah banter is fun an' nowt else tha' see,
Ah jabs at 'im an' e' jabs at me.
So don't get t' thinkin' as Roses War's still on,
When we as a go, it's just fer ah fun.  

© Dave Timperley 2012


Details | Haiku | |

Made a robot

made a robot
named it after him
programmed it to be compassionate


Details | Clerihew | |

CLERIHEWS fini

PEE WEE HERMAN
Thought cops wouldn’t determine,
he put himself in that popcorn box.
Maybe he should have used his socks.

HOWARD HUGHES
A world famous recluse.
Millions for planes, women and cars,
treasured most his urine in jars.

CATHERINE THE GREAT
A czarina whose needs couldn’t wait.
Rumored to have a private stable,
with horses…. if her Cossacks weren’t able.

AESOP
May his fables never stop,
true treasures among many Greek joys.
Whereas Socrates, Plato, chose educating boys.

GEORGE WASHINGTON
Add to the amazing things he’s done,
was never caught chewing a mint wreath,
while mixing politics and funky breath from wood teeth.

PONCE de LEON
I hate to tell you son,
you searched Florida for the fountain of youth.
AARP there first, how’d you miss the booth.

MARILYN MONROE
There’s a girl I wanted to know.
It could’ve worked out fine,
if Bobby and Jack didn’t head the line


Details | Light Poetry | |

Space

Space, who does it define,
a life like yours or mine,
Maybe a life far too divine,
is it really for me to say.

Is it where we'll be free,
for only the good to see,
Is this a big old lie
maybe as big as the bright blue sky.

Come with me far away,
and this is to stay,
there we can lay our nest,
and forget about all the rest.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Popcorn

I’m like a kernel in the bottom of the popcorn bowl, as my Trolls abound. But then, I feel all buttered up when my son comes running around. My Hubby gets the munchies, and then runs off to enjoy the Trolls. But he thinks I’m cute and fluffy, yummy… like that popcorn goes. And the dogs look at me like dessert, when all the others have gone. They’re looking for tidbits, falling just for them, to pounce upon. In the morning I start as a tiny kernel; all snuggly, quietly, found. At sunrise, I then start stirring about, and moving all around. As the alarm goes off, the heat goes up, as I jump out of bed. Hitting the ground running, I start bouncing till they’re all fed. I may be popcorn, popping, in that fanciful bowl of mine. But no lid can hold me down… once I hit the ground! Like a bowl of popcorn disappearing, my day unrolls. At night, I’m all used up, when it’s time to wash the bowl. But in between is heaven, as the story of my fanciful life, unfolds. How do I get the energy, to bounce after everyone’s important needs? Love of family is the fuel, keeping me going, and at such speeds.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Eyeball on Fifty Something

Despite the wealth of creams applied Old Father Time won't be denied And as that watershed appears I can't complain at fifty years Though just one thing for which I pray To throw those blessed specs away! The years drift by and eyes grow dim The fight to keep the body trim It really is a bitter pill They say from now it's all down hill You'll understand then when I say Just let me throw those specs away! Fountain of youth it runneth dry And sight recedeth in my eye No cup of bounty runneth over No wonder; I'm one more year older And still the thing for which I pray To throw those blessed specs away! But wait, I think I've seen the light Illuminating, out of sight No more my hopes and dreams for nought There is a way if I can sort The thing for which I daily pray: To throw those blessed specs away! Tt's thanks to innovations new I'll soon be known as "Chic Cool Sue” I owe it all to new technology To change my world of Ophthamology So now with certainty I say Just throw those blessed specs away! Today's the day I must be mental Why didn't I opt for sentimental? A Chinese, or a shopping spree I might have missed ‘Buy Get one Free’ But always it was what I'd pray To throw those blessed specs away! What have I done, my friends were right I'm in a mess, I'm numb with fright I had a dream, ‘twas “ Handy Andy" Promising a job just dandy He said "Ill do it cheap today". I’ve changed my mind; the specs can stay. But, No! I've courage I’ll go on I'm not a quitter, I'll be strong I may wake full of blurred confusion Wondering if it's just illusion Or really is that epic day I finally throw my specs away!


Details | Limerick | |

BIRDS AND BEES




At church, young niece asked me in a blink

What mating meant with a curious wink

    “It's a  bird-and-bee's dream

      For girls who reach  sixteen”

Pined she,” that’s not what my classmates think”




----------

Andrea Dietrich's ONE REALLY FUNNY, 
CORRECTLY METERED LIMERICK


Details | Couplet | |

If I were a Guy Contest

If I were a guy
I’d actually enjoy wearing a suit and tie,
I wouldn’t feel uneasy about walking down a late night city street
And high heels would become obsolete,
I’d sleep an extra hour every day, never worrying about running late
For id have no more makeup and hair to prepare when I had to wake
I’d be pleasant four weeks out of the month instead of just two
With No more cramps and mood swings to attend too
Id saves money on tampons, Midol and all the many types of underwear
It would be lovely to take off my shirt on a beach and have no one care
I’d adore my mate, basically worship her, while being extremely nice
For I no longer would have to worry about births physical price
If I gained a few pounds I sure wouldn’t mind
Plenty of overweight men have women who are mighty fine
Statistically speaking I’d have a better chance at making more money
Even if I was an egotistically dummy
I would get to stand up when I pee
This would come in handy constantly!
No more worrying about a lack of tissues or dirty toilet seats,
 I’d give my Sergeant a little shake with no concerns about a leak
Let’s not forget all the hours spent on shaving
That would be another time consuming cost in which id be saving
My friends would not complain wine and gossip constantly
If a fight broke out id forgive them and we would all just let it be
Going camping and fishing would be easier for grooming would be so simple
I wouldn’t freak out if I had a sudden pimple
Plastic surgery would not be a thought that ever ran through my mind
For the older a man gets the sexier and more refined
Wrinkles and gray hair makes him look sophisticated
Women see these features and become completely jaded
I'd rarely have to be bothered with perverts at any store,
The simplicity of my beautiful life I would be thankful for.

P.S However, I Love being a woman...


Details | Imagism | |

THIRTY MINUTE HUG

Up the stairs, You are there
All around your smell bathes the room
You and me really feel we care
In instant spark and warmth booms

Each minute counts important
Each running second we all warmth
Not anymore to make a nowhere haunt
Rather to go somewhere stay be adamant

I look stare direct to your eyes 
You do the same
You hold your hind apart
I did too and we fall to Hug

No words came to our lips
All we did is to swim in that hug
Hug.. hug.. hug so tight..
so tight wanting not to depart....

by: olive_eloi
4:01pm
01/07/2014
--+++--+--------------


Details | Quatrain | |

Making Conversation

I struggle with conversation,
what to say I'm never sure
and after introductions
I can't think of any more!

A comment on the weather,
'it's cold for the time of year'
or 'how's work going at the moment?'
is all I can manage I fear.

I'm not one for idle chatter,
don't seem to have the knack,
to engage in conversation
with small talk I do lack.

The thought of talking scares me
nerves turn my mind to mush!
I obviously need more practice
but it's been easier just to hush!


Details | Rhyme | |

Conflict of Self-Interest

By: Amy

I need  to study, cannot go out...
‘BUT THAT PARTY I HEARD ABOUT!’
I’m so behind, I simply must work...
‘BUT THERE’S A KEG! WHAT A GREAT PERK!’

I have a paper, and test real soon...
‘BUT THERE’S TOMORROW, JUST WAKE AT NOON!’
I can’t take a hangover on a Sunday...
‘BUT THE PARTY TONIGHT’S 281 HATHAWAY!’

I’ve so much concern, my GPA’s sunk...
‘ALL THE MORE REASON I SHOULD GET DRUNK!’
I’ll be too tired, the night gets so late...
‘CAN’T STALL LONGER; THE PARTIES WON’T WAIT!’

Really, grades worry me, school’s been tough...
‘BUT THINK OF THE GUYS, SO HOT, SO BUFF!’
THIS IS TRUE! MY DECISION IS RIGHT!
‘TIME TO GO OUT FOR ONE HELL OF A NIGHT!’


Details | Limerick | |

Pay Up

<                    hes my banker and my heads horseman
                      calling bounty on anothers land
                      hark the herald angels
                      I think this game is swell
                      now thimble owes me sixty five grand







Written by Katherine Stella

Entry For Judy Konos's
Monopoly The Game Of Life Contest
G.L. All


Details | Light Poetry | |

It's About Time

‘It’s about time you grew up!’
She heard her complain
As her head started thumping 
And she threw up again

‘That’s three times this week 
You’ve been out on the town
Don’t you think that at your age
You should calm yourself down?’

Concealed under covers
She tried to ignore
The judgmental spectre
That stood at the door

‘Oh please go away, 
You’re hurting my head
Can’t you see that I’m dying?
Just leave me in bed!’

But the censure continued
‘You look a right state
It serves your self right
For staying out late

And drinking ‘til all hours
You need to desist
You’ll ruin your liver
If you keep getting pissed

I don’t suppose for one minute
You’ll get up today
Just as well you’re not working
That’s all I can say!’

‘And I really do think
It’s about time you oughta
Set a better example
To me, as your daughter!’


Details | Haiku | |

wet fog enters trees

.
                                             wet fog enters trees
                                       clings upon dry dead leaves
                                             droplets water earth


Details | Ballad | |

Always Remember Tooth Paste

Tears for fears.
Tears throughout the years.
Tears that fallen from my peers.
A tear so sincere that will shred us from this dreadful fear.
That someday we all will die.
But have u gotten a slice of that pie.
A pie so delicious u can almost taste.
That u cant let it go to waste.
Maybe next time I'll remember tooth paste.


Details | Haiku | |

More Randomness

Must finish homework
Bio, hard Math, and German 
Ooh! Look! Butterfly...


Details | Free verse | |

The Switch Up

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


~JSLambert


Details | Limerick | |

ME

 There once was a lady from Cali
 Born and raised in the Valley
 She married a dude
 With a bad attitude
 So divorce was her grand finale


Details | Couplet | |

Broken Heart, For Sale

Saturday, rain or sun, garage sale, moving from my old heritage apartment. Years of collecting, some must go, things that have given me such contentment. Two china cabinets, one from Mom, one from Grandma, remembering with a smile. Perhaps, I can somehow fit them in, my lofty new pad, wall to wall china cabinet style. As I go through my many things and stuff, I have to laugh and say, "why did I ever get that!" Clothing gothic, retro and vintage lace, shoes, handbags, jewelery and even some hats. A broken and battered old filing cabinet, it holds years of poetry written from my heart. Need to find a new filing system for sure, should I sell some." Oh no we can never be apart!" Vases and vases, colourful and quite lovely, dusty on my window sill for years, quite useless. Porcelain dishes from Grandma, quite pretty, in my cupboards for years, lost in forgetfulness. Old movies, much watched, VHS outdated, music and well lets say it, just loads, tons of stuff. How does one say goodbye? Time to shed the old, garage sale, Saturday, rain or sun." This will be rough!" Written September 8, 2012 For the contest, A Poets Garage Sale Sponsored by Skat


Details | Free verse | |

Soy Sauce Spills

Soy sauce drains 
Into the white, clustered rice
Stepped on…
spills . . . 
Soy sauce taints
The whiteness of the grain
 It slips out of my hands
No use...no point in crying out in rage
Though I was starving, 
I'll just eat another thing and start on a new page

I'm hungry like a swine
I wish I can earn back my snack!
I'm as angry as a bull
I'm about ready to attack! Attack!
Soy sauce packages
Fall unto the dirty school ground
Stepped on
By bratty, conceited teens
They really need to eat their greens
Instead of junkfood and pizza
They should drink some water
Instead of drinking sugary drinks or
 Sucking on popsicles obnoxiously
Why did the soy sauce spill? Seriously....


Details | Couplet | |

A Social Disaster

I walk into door frames, I trip up the stairs.
I rant on about stuff, when nobody cares.

I say all the wrong things, and freak people out.
It's just theres no filter, from my brain, to my mouth.

I'm socially awkward, and horribly shy.
I barely say hello, and never say goodbye.

I'm one of those people, who tends to just stare.
Then complain about you, forgetting you're there.

I'm sullen and mean, as barbed as wire fence.
I'm so insecure, it's a form of defense.

I'm bad at making friends, but when I do.
I make it for life, my friendship is true.

When I walk anywhere, i stare at the ground.
That's why I accidentally knock people down.

I laugh at bad jokes, and all the wrong times.
I take it too far, misinterpret the signs.

When i talk and I'm nervous, it makes me talk faster.
I might as well face it, I'm a social disaster!


Details | Limerick | |

Trader Joe

<                           once there was a man named trader Joe
                             could do nothing with hair so let grow
                             under big coonskin hat
                             fleas tick and his pet rat
                             mercantile's just say Oh Hell No


                            once there was saloon name lucky spur
                            where traders brought in their hunted furs
                            in walks old trader Joe
                            miss Molly said let's go
                            now both itch scratch from leftover burrs


Details | Romanticism | |

Reflections in the Firelight

The wood is piled
my emotions riled
Sweet expectations
settle in my soul

Sweat dappled brows
my emotions drowse
sudden conclusions
fill in the hole

of my heart.

The fire started in the pit
warming ourselves 
in it's globe
and there we sit
like two lost elves
waiting to disrobe

Take your time,
Love
The perfect man
does exist.

rlm '09


Details | Couplet | |

Life is an Aventurous Squirrel Run

I have my Hubby’s steadfast belief in me.
He loves how my poems are light and airy.
He’ll give me an idea once in a while…
Then he escapes to come back, later to read my new child.

He calls these run-throughs a squirrel run.
For they can take off in directions, yes, any one.
Crazy thoughts become crazier still…
And story time leads to god knows, where they will.

My thinking is kind of like chasing around a tree.
You never know where the end will be.
But somewhere I eventually become truly still.
And that is where my Hubby adds into the trill.

Then the squirrel run begins again…
Light and fluffy and full to the brim.
Each day a new adventure... waits around the bend.
Live it. Love it. Write it... You'll be happier in the end.

Contest: Emotion: Squirrelly and fun   CSEastman


Details | Rhyme | |

Full House

Naughty little brother hitting people just for fun,
Soppy little sister snuggles up to harassed mum,
While other sister Lesley thinks she’s in a royal court,
And “Ten Ton Tim” throws the tennis balls he’s bought,
One hits little Lesley on the head with quite a force,
She storms off to her room, in a nark again of course,
She slams the door behind her once she’s made her way upstairs,
And then there’s the twins, I know that trouble comes in pairs,
Michael’s riding Richard with his undies on his head,
While Craig from down the road is wearing swimming trunks instead,
“Ten Ton Tim” then offers the other boys a fight,
One which probably won’t finish until very late at night
“You and Craig onto me!”; a tempting offer to the boys,
Who start to rush towards him brandishing their army-toys,
Lesley reappears from the dark behind the door,
Intending not carry on moaning any more,
Dad is quite sensible at stays at work ‘til dark,
I think it’s more crowded here than in Noah’s Ark.
Mother calls for quite but the noise just carries on,
‘Til Craig suggests they go to his and then the rabble’s gone!




(Written at the age of 9 or 10)


Details | Tanka | |

Nice Breakfast (Tanka)

this breakfast is nice, 
bacon, eggs, toast on the side 
black coffee to taste 

not one drop going to waste 
yum, yum, me and my tum, tum!


Details | Rhyme | |

My Favorite Devonshire

Mimes at my Funeral
When my time is done and I am finally laid to rest
I don’t want to be recalled as one who lived life depressed

So as I wrote my will, I chose to leave some instructions
That laughing gas be inhaled by all those at the function

No mournful eulogies will a pastor have to invent
For my funeral will be held under a circus tent

When dozens of clowns emerge from the tiny Volkswagen
Reams of my silly limericks Bozo will be dragin’

And as they’re read aloud, family and friends who knew me best
Will say, “She had a sense of humor, this we can attest.”

Mimes will mimic me trying to write the world’s best novel
As my corpse hangs from the trapeze, surely they will marvel

Laughter will ensue as they shoot me from the cannon
Flying high in my demise across the great Grand Canyon

All the children will smile and there’ll be no tears allowed
So no one will ever remember me as a “dark cloud”

There are people who seem to take life way too seriously 
When I meet my Maker, don’t view this as a tragedy

Dad called me his “happy girl,” so let me go out that way
I want to leave them laughing as I reach my judgment day



I chose this poem because it captures the way Aunt Carolyn lives her life.  Always the prankster, she adds laughter to all family gatherings.  And those “silly limericks” are favorites among family members.  We tend to take death too seriously.  We can’t do anything about it, so why not live it up here and in the hereafter.  I’ll let you know if we find her in the Grand Canyon.


Details | Pantoum | |

Penny Wise

Penny wise and a pound fool
A pocket full of shiny copper
On my bike and off to school
A fireball bazooka bubblegum shopper.
 
A pocket full of shiny copper
Coasting toward the corner store
A fireball bazooka bubblegum shopper
Loaded for bear and wanting more
 
Coasting toward the corner store
Better hurry or I’ll be late
Loaded for bear and wanting more
Twenty penny candies wait.
 
Better hurry or I’ll be late
On my bike and off to school
Twenty penny candies wait
Penny wise and a pound fool!



Details | Verse | |

LOL

In her aristocratic yet somber hour
Inebriated she phones me
As if I am an oblivious commodity
Though still I feel coerced
To exist within her wake
Even though communication
May be relinquished when sober
An allegiance has been pledged


Details | Haiku | |

The Dream

I had a good dream
I wanted to remember
Could not remember

Good dream so I thought
Took an internet dream course
Now remembering

My memory came
Somethings are best left alone
Scared me to death


Details | Haiku | |

Land Ho-Ku



dragons fly
burning fodder
land hoe.

sea gulls fly
over water
"Land Ho!"

pesky fly
dodging swatter
"Land! Ho!"

deborah burch©
4/11/2012


Details | Rhyme | |

Serious Trouble

For like many, having ignored their mother’s calling
Children have learned to identify her warning
For serious trouble will be paid
When procrastination has been overly made
Jamie! I hear as I watch TV
Please take out the trash if you please
Jamie!! I hear for a second time
I will at the end of my show-alright? 
Jamie Robert Hollingsworth the third!!!!!!
The moment of truth- now has arrived
Dashing to the trash as fast as I can travel 
 Before a bruising- caused by a paddle


Details | Senryu | |

Alluring Title

.
                                          
                                           Alluring title
                             Click look at who commented_
                                     Me, senior moment


Details | Limerick | |

Twelve Seconds

<                    Once was a bartender named Louie
                      Thought my tales story was quite screwy                                     
                      Asked how many seconds
                      Was in year he reckons
                      Twelve shouted out by cousin dewey







Entry For
Confession To A Bartender


                                  


Details | Free verse | |

Pills

Now when I was a young man 
I didn’t need pills everything worked
I wasn’t a fan 

But now that I'm old 
I need pills everyday 
One to lower my blood pressure 
Another to keep the cholesterol away 

Now I have a new one 
To keep my mind straight 
And because of this 
I can’t ejaculate 

It’s good for an old man to stay hard for so long 
But even for that 
I need a pill for that schlong

I wonder whats next in the pill world for me 
Maybe a pill 
So I can pee 

They gave me holder to keep my pills all arranged 
But keeping them straight 
Is making me deranged 

I need a pill to tell me what pill and when 
Because for the life of me 
I forget now and then 

I can’t tell the difference between the colors of each  
If I take the wrong one 
I have a hard on and no speech 

Now all these little pills 
Cost a pile of bills 
Which causes me 
Lots of stress and ill 

No more pills thank you 
I’ve had my fill 

Eric (and always will be)  
 


Details | Free verse | |

Constantly Torment

Tears well in my eyes; don't let anyone see
Patch the broken parts over and over
Let no one know I am late for the show
Again, unconcern seems my plot
Friends don't desire your lights
Lard biscuits don't make you slender
Taste and know; It ain't for show

Tastes change and remove a familiar flavor
no lard to make those butter biscuits today
Hushpuppy corn bread is the way to go


Details | Free verse | |

Elegy For My Social Life

You'll be missed,
You will always be remembered.

All those good times
I had because of you.

I regret this loss
More than any.

Goodbye, social life.
You'll be missed.


Details | Rhyme | |

Ode to Charlie Sheen: Bi-Winning

   -   Normally I don’t mess with email requests;
      but times are a-changin’ and I’m rearrangin’. -

          (As noted by all this distress, 
             the story we wish we‘d see less)

                  Titled: 
“The Train Wreck of Charlie Sheen;”

The public seems a little bitter; 
As he rambles his rants on Twitter,
Social network scenes, all the magazines; 
And he’s still rollin’ in dough, like we’ve never seen.

Any news is good news…so they say;
He’s gonna relapse anyway;
So at least he’s getting high, and making pay.

Everyone’s glued to their TV and internet devices,
But the best thing to do, believe me, is ignore him and his vices.  
He feeds financially and emotionally, off you and me
So leave Charlie alone! Just let him be…




Details | Limerick | |

Taxing Dilemma

Rich ones get richer from our wages.
Middle man paid with too many pages.
We continue on path.
Hiding outrageous wrath,
Revolved in political stages,

Taxes, taxes, what will be the due.
Deductions, exemptions for a few,
All my money they have kept.
Deducting tears I wept.
Tax man arrived claimed all of them too.

The poor keeps getting poorer each year.
They cannot wait for rebate, they cheer.
Sell off, early rebate.
Federal and the state,
Money now, money, for wine and beer,


Written for

Sponsor Carolyn Devonshire 
Contest Name Taxing Times 


Details | Verse | |

The Paparazzi Quinzaine

<                                   paparazzi candid shots
                                     privacy act ruined ?
                                     big nuisance ?
                                     
                                     


Details | Rhyme | |

The Fleas Of A Thousand Camels

I am fed up, I want to take stock,
Of all things I could not stop.

The things I bought that all went wrong,
Down to the clock that will not bong.

The time I’ve wasted standing in queues,
The money I’ve wasted, but not on shoes.

To the annoying “Jobs Worths” out there, 
I hope that some one somewhere hears my prayer.

I get fed up and angry at best,
With anyone that’s like the rest.

I am not perfect that I know
But at least you know I’ll have a go.

So for all those people that irk you too
I hope the same  thought goes for you

That the fleas of a thousand camels will rest
In any and all of there liberty vests.



Details | Limerick | |

Poetry Man

There once was a man from everywhere
Within New Jersey’s infamous lair
Mdegenhardt his name
Rhyming is his game
Through the internet he peddles his ware


Details | Couplet | |

Valentine Romance

Valentines day is always something special to me, I explained. 
So I planned a romantic evening and got ready for my campaign.
The children were at a sleepover with their favorite friends they adore.
So I met my hubby as he came in, accidentally tripping and making him hit the door.
Thank God his head is hard as he hit that, the nearby TV, but very little more.
I made Cherries Jubilee as a snack while he sat there with an ice pack to his head. 
But before I knew it, I’d knocked it over and almost burned down the house instead.
When he finally put the fire extinguisher away…
I got up and got some of the kids’ apple tarts I had made. 
He bit in deep and burned his mouth, declaring he wasn’t hungry and the pain would fade.
Next he decided to go upstairs, but I had put rose petals down everywhere in spades.
And yes you probably guessed it… he slipped and ended up needing a little aide.
At this he decided to take an aspirin and lay down upon the couch. OH  HHWell…
But I knew the rest needed to happen above, to totally create this romantic spell…
I had to get him to the candles and bubble bath, where my romantic dreams still dwelled. 
So I got out some scarves and danced toward him, tying up his hands before he fell.
He never knew what hit him as he was lassoed and gently bounced up the stairs.
I guess I wouldn’t have had to tie his feet… a few words would have done as well.
But you know me when I get going, my mind tends to lose a few brain cells…
He was flustered, exhausted and bruised when he got there, but he’s made of the right stuff.
Though as I took off the scarves, he flopped on the bed pulling the covers over his head kind of rough.
He said he loved me, but living with me could be kind of tough.
He said it was better to leave it to him, for the romantic endeavors and such.
He said he had reservations and play tickets in his shirt pocket for later on that night.
But what he needed now was some aspirin and a few moments of quiet respite. 
So with a sigh he started snoring, and my romantic dreams were momentarily crushed.
I dearly love the man you know. But, do you think maybe I tried too much?


Details | Limerick | |

My bum fluff

I remember in my early teens, being teased about my facial hair was really mean, people would tease and they would poke, always trying to make jokes, but it wasn't just bum fluff to me.
Contest: FLUFF - Carol Brown M.Mahauariki © 2012 1st place


Details | Acrostic | |

The Birds And The Bees

They both dreaded that day,
Having to 
Explain to their only child about the

Birds and the bees
In stepped mom with the flowers
Ready to explain all about pollen and fertilization 
Dad looked bewildered, rubbing the side of his head
Stating, “Did I forget your birthday”? While eyeing the flowers

Anxiously he said, 
"No! Don’t tell me your are pregnant again, I 
Doubt I can go 

Through this again,"
Having to sit there and 
Entertain herself the daughter decided to ease their pain… 

Both looked traumatized when she 
Eventually said, “I know all about being in love, all about sex, it’s part of our curriculum
Even the difference in male and female anatomy gets explained”
So mom if you are pregnant, I can tell the baby all about the birds and the bees one day!!"


Contest: The Birds and the Bees
Placed: 8th


Details | Light Poetry | |

Awe Your Full Of It

<         twenty twelve

                  What The Hell !

                                       
                         cosmic conjuction
                                       
                               What's it's Function !


                                         ecologic collapse

                                                   Only Perhaps !


                                                             galactic beings

                                                                     I've Been Seeing !


                                                                             think it's all phony
                                                                         
                                                                                      And Full Of Balony  !

Entry For Gareth James's
2012 Contest
G.L. All


                                                                                              
 
                                            

                             


Details | Free verse | |

JSA BLUES

Reject letter sent by post. Applications online ignored. Too old Too young. Inexperienced. Do not drive. It must be the JSA blues. Countless jobs for the unemployed. Just search and see. It must be true the papers say. This Government would not lie. Reject letter sent by post. Applications online ignored. Too old Too young. Inexperienced. Do not drive. It must be the JSA blues. Take any job you can get. Work 80 hours a week. It's for your well being, the papers say. This Government would not lie. Reject letter sent by post. Applications online ignored. Too old Too young. Inexperienced. Do not drive. It must be the JSA blues. Take minimum wage if you must. That is all you are worth. You will thank us some day the papers say. This Government would not lie. Reject letter sent by post. Applications online ignored. Too old Too young. Inexperienced. Do not drive. It must be the JSA blues. I have the JSA blues This Government would not lie. The JSA blues. Government would not lie. JSA Blues. Would not lie. JSA blues. Not lie. JSA blues. LIE!


Details | Rhyme | |

Finish this Verse

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Now that you're gone
My headaches are too!


Details | Ballad | |

THE WISHING WELL OF A SUN-RISE,

It is...within the tiny things of early morning, that moment breaths alive, it is within the tiny whisperings, that a melodye plays...like the very dear and the antelope, play home on the range.

so goes the melodye of heart beat, that plays quietly the songs of soul,

here a rhyme is born of day-light coming so soon, through the early morning eyes of the moon-light, and the starry dreams of twilight's transitioning...

into the light of a love letter written to dawn.

soul to soul conversing, as in this love letter, the letters just join hands with the words and just march across the sky...and at the end of the rainbow, there be plenty of golden time,

way down deep on the inside,

...as the inspired choir, of a bumble bee, or a butterfly, starts to sing, like tiny things that live,

flower to flower,
blossom to bloom,

watered and deeply cared for...

O' Eden.

I say, deep beneath the surface of a wishing well...where the pennies lay,

I wish a sun-rise.








Details | Didactic | |

Word Impression Poem 6: Chrestomathic

How useful it is to know what's useful,
Better still when and where to apply it.
To get the two together properly is hard,
Which is why learned people seldom try it.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Lawyer Envy

(The writing exercise was to choose three poetry cliches and make them fresh)
(back stabber, after my own heart; and a soul of discretion; maybe more...)

He was a back stabber
After my own heart
Meek and sleek and sneaky
He wormed his way in
And 'innocently' uncovered
State secrets
Private tales
Skeletons in closets
They were all fair game

He was a back stabber
Not to be trusted
But had 
Such a sweet smile
That promised a soul of discretion
It was too easy to believe him
It felt good to trust him

He pulled his victims in
And it wasn’t until the court case
Was over
And the jury voted for him
Again
That you realized he was a back stabber

He pulled it off with such panache
And charm
You had to admire the guy
Even while you staunched your blood

I wish – oh I wish
I had his skills
He was a back stabber
After my own heart


Details | Rhyme | |

Hear me out bartender

Pouring it all out to the bartender, 
right before I give up and surrender.
Life use to never be like this, this hard, 
but she threw all my stuff out into the yard.

When I got home she was yelling about the bills.
I think she was high on all sorts of pills.
She yelled at me and called me a bum.
Then held up the finger two away from her thumb.

I just wanted her to be my honey, 
but all she wanted from me was money.
I couldn't take her abuse anymore.
Then I did something I've never done before.

I grabbed the keys to her car,
should've came straight to the bar,
but what else can I say?
I crashed that piece and stepped away.

Now for my sins I get to pay the toll.
Just trying to sit here and drown my soul.
Please just sit with me and fill my cup.
The cops will be here soon to pick me up.  

***For the contest, “Confessions to a bartender”***


Details | Free verse | |

'Keeping up with Change'


What happened to the crossroad? I swear I spotted it here somewhere don't tell me you moved the goal posts again? I can't keep up with you - Changing the rules every time It’s demoralizing working towards something just to find out that opportunity don’t exist anymore don't play with me like a puppet master would - my feet refuse to move my arms don't know the difference between up and down anymore it's all good and well keeping me on my toes heaven knows one of these days even they will be no more...
030920112055


Details | Rhyme | |

"Wal-Marts" Georgia

Ol' Roy spoke right up without a care
So "Ceasar's" could plainly hear
"There is some ghastly stink over there
Where all those fish live my dear."

Well Goldie tried to  hush him by saying
"It is not coming from our corner
But at the garden center on open displaying
Cow Manure with a scent that is an awakener"


Details | Rhyme | |

LEKKER Life

Many a people have said
I lead a LEKKER life
I would have to agree
All because of my wife

It's not because I'm lazy
I'd like to lend a hand
She smiles and says sit down
I follow her command

I like my LEKKER life
It really is quite swell
Some guys wives' like to nag
To me that would be hell

So I count my blessings
The LEKKER'S life for me
Someone wakes me up
It's all a fantasy

Entry for; LEKKER- a new contest
P.S to me a LEKKER'S life would be a boring life.
I am glad I woke up! I still feel the same way about nagging
though. Thanks for adding a twist to your contest.


Details | McWhirtle | |

Romeo the Great Lover


I’m really amazed by 
Romeo the great lover 
who boasted his greatness
of loving my friend Tess.

Oh, Gee! How hard it is 
for him to display his trademark
of love, for her 
in the presence of his wife.




Details | Limerick | |

Just Wait Until I Get Home

<                        once popped cork on bottle of red wine
                          hit brother in eye oh how it did shine
                          seen him go pick up bat
                          boy did I ever scat
                          right to canadian's boarder line

                          feeling like her dansel in-distress
                          along came three county mounties best
                          asked if nipping bottle
                          at fast paces throttle
                          answered yes now did I pass your test


                           tossed in pokie for now twenty days
                           poor ole missy now won't and get laid
                           darn brother wins again
                           wearing smitten hugh grin
                           wait until that welt begins to fade  




Written 6/20/11

Entry For Francine Robert's
Bottle Of Wine
Limericks Only Contest
G.L. All


Details | Haiku | |

rare occurrence


at stop light
rare occurrence
plates in sequence


Details | Rhyme | |

My FAVORITE Classic TV Show


My Favorite Classic T.V. Show A classic t.v. show that I thought was fun and silly. Was one I watched as a child: “The Beverly Hillbillies.” There was Jed. Granny. Jethro and Elly May too. You just didn’t know what these folks were going to do! Granny would offer possum pie or some “vittles.” There was no tellin’ what she was fixin’ in her griddle! This family would “dance a jig.” Or even “sing a song. And then they would all gather around “the cement pond.” It didn’t seem to matter what was served on the dinner plate. Ole Jethro would never get full. No matter how much he ate! Elly loved to have her many animals in the home. No matter where she went. She was never alone! This Clampett family brought joy through our t.v. I still watch this show. But just occasionally. This classic show is from a time in the past. But it still brings good memories that will always last! By Jim Pemberton "The Beverly Hillbillies"


Details | Rhyme | |

Happy Day of Birth

Dear dead properties, L-o-L
Now back to earth and for what it’s worth
A new year is a laudable blessing commencing rebirth
Advance in life and don’t come back, kidding 
Just don’t retreat or look back
Sweet sixteen I’m glad you’re that
On your back, me support thou sat
Feliz cumpleaños, and good luck
Love, a hungry acquaintance 


Details | Quatrain | |

Redeye Gravy

Now sits the redeye gravy in the pan
It certainly is not at all like jam
Mom made it years ago  for her man
Fry some country ham, pour  coffee bam

Never knew why it was called redeye
Then my grandson informed me just why
Men who had been out late had bleareye
Who looked like they had been drip-dry

I always thought that it was because
It had dark red color from drippings
In my home it  got an applause
I thought that it was God's blessings

I learned my husband doesn't like it
My grandson doesn't like redeye gravy
When I make it only make a bit
Always redeye gravy left heavy

Today decided to place on grits
Feed to the cats see if they like it
Now cat is running around won't sit
I guess that caffeine gave them lift


Details | Senryu | |

I Don't Give A Hoot

<                             beneath swollen moon
                               silhouttes conjoinment dance
                               hooting escalates  







Entry For
Sensuous Senryus


Details | I do not know? | |

Under my 8 year old Brothers Bed

Under my 8 year old brothers bed
lies my dog chewed Barbie, no sign of her head
a faded Snoopy cartoon, deflated yellow Birthday balloon
and one stuffed zoo animal baboon
Romote toy car from Uncle Tom
Cassette of Raffi, sing-a-long songs
half a fruit roll-up, and a beat up
tonka truck

A wooden dream catcher, made in Summer camp
his moon and star shaped night lamp
one lonely brown button from his Winter coat
A crumpled crayon castle drawing, complete with
an alligator filled moat
A real rabbits foot, for luck, from Grandpa Mack
half a fourth of July sparkler, old fashioned box of jacks
glass jelly jars of grass, sticks, leaves, assorted bugs
science fair worm farm living in moms old Garden jug

Under my 8 year old brothers bed
it has to be said, if you find yourself lost 
beneath it
you are as good
as dead!


Details | I do not know? | |

CONTRADICTORY CLICHES

first  " there's not time like the present"  then they say "haste makes waste"
then "don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today"

"the more things change the more they stay the same" some say
and in the next breath"tomorrows another day"

they say "if it don't happen naturally then leave it"
then "if at first you don't succeed try try again "can you believe it?


Details | Couplet | |

Soul of a "Jewel" vs...Life as a "Mule"

He always says..."She has the "soul of a jewel"!!"
I always say...."She rides like a stubborn old mule"!!!
So...he wants me to ride in his old pick up truck..???
Well, I'm glad to tell you....he has run out of luck!!
I'll tell you why....
Would I lie???

It was once painted blue...but now the color is rust
But you can't be too sure...'cause it's covered in dust!
The engine has to idle...'bout half an hour is good..
You can feel the vibration, around the whole freakin' neighborhood!
If I open the door,...it makes a loud squeak
I must hold my breath....Eewwwww!!  What are those odors?? It reeks!!

My life is in jeopardy if I go for a ride!
The windshield is dirty, we can't see from inside
It makes a weird noise...and rides bumpy and rough
The dashboard is peeling, and covered with "stuff"
The seat  cushion's torn, it pokes at my rear
His dog sits beside us, and licks at my ear
There's no place below, to rest my feet
There's a hole in the floor....you can see the street!!!!

The windows don't close, so there's always a breeze
With old Kleenex flying...those were tossed when he sneezed...
Wrappers from Twinkies, a Burger King box...
One lonely old sneaker...and dirty old socks
If I had me some coffee...I'd really be set
'Cause those are dirty Styrofoam cups....and even more than that!
Half a stale donut is squished on the floor
Darn!! The dog beat me to it...and is looking for more!

The muffler is loose, you can see the sparks fly
Dirty looks from the folks, who get smoke in their eyes
When we drive by the neighbors, I duck my head and I hide
I'm no Prima Donna....but I've still got some pride!!
He loves that old truck....he calls her a gem!
If he had to choose between us.......I could be out on a limb!!!


______________________________________________________________________
For Paula's contest "Soul of a ........ & Life of a ........."


Details | Haiku | |

Y-DUH , Captcha Haiku

Y-DUH reads CAPTCHA
blank mind blonde moment silent
world spin round right round


Details | I do not know? | |

Caribbean You

More than a vacation, a vocation
In the field of tranquility you
Search the Caribbean blue
Sensation or mental refuge

White sandy beaches wet
Peaches in drinks collect
Making the experience perfectly
Sweet, worthy as a bodily

Treat. Club nights, escapes
In lantern light vases
Erases memories of work
And the Jerk in Apartment

24B. you are lovely, true
Disconnection from Kansas
Dorothy, pitchfork my ass!
And to heck with Toto too, I like cats,

Bat-monkey bellhops serving champagne 
On balcony restaurants under starry
Safari-scene coca bean cabanas. 
Your hammock sways, snapping

Shirt stays as rays of sunlight brook
Your book and cook toes
That glow from wearing
Black shoes. No swearing,

Sweating, connecting flights
To sit here and there, eating
On the go in slow traffic, lights
And horns blearing in through

Hotel windows. Without AC
You see a sea on your desk
In your messed up cluster
Schmuck of yucky tapestry

Adorning cubical rat
Mazes. In code and number
Each node and blunder, busses
Screeching breaks on lakes
Of concrete. meat sickles
Tickle the fancy of Metro
Nancy’s claiming amnesty
From male mannerisms

As aneurisms claim hardy
Workaholic espresso toting
Suits late for some meeting.

Welcome to Pleasure Island

Were your wildest dreams 
Are you, making love to 
Models, crack dealing to stay
Away from the hustle, bustle, bubble

Muscle-man tan left sleeve down world.
Colors brilliantly hue the rising
Set down let down, it all really is
A biz of romance looking askance

At boom box beats from street
Thugs in Timberland boots
That choose to use time
As a crime enterprise

Of lies. But you aren’t there
You’re there in bikini underwear
On the water in your Caribbean
You picture frame from a last

Trip that wasn’t drug induced :)


Details | Light Poetry | |

Another Year, Another Birthday




Another Year…Another Birthday!

I have a secret admirer
He goes wherever I go
I try to  hide from him
But he’s a persistent beau
I’ve tried to outwit him
Have done so for years
Bur he always shows up
As my birthday nears

When I was a young girl
He intrigued me so
But now that I’m older
He has to go!
He’s relentless, obstinate
And to my chagrin
I know for a fact
That one day he’ll win!

I try to ignore  him
Pretend he’s not there
But it’s my 84th Birthday
Oh…it just isn’t fair!
But I’ll not give in
I’m still in my prime
My unwelcome guest
Is Old Father Time

I eat my veggies
I cream my face
And I exercise
At a ferocious pace
I’m one step ahead
But he’s closing in
 If I make it to 100
Then we both shall win!

Copyright©2012 Beatrice Boyle
(All rights reserved)


Details | I do not know? | |

The Busy Bees Life

The busy bee carried the nector
From one flower to another
Moved her exhausted wings, struggled like Hector
She fall, but she shall die but not serve the Queen mother

But today was so bizarre
She was the only one working hard
She saw a bee sitting on a flower smoking a cigar
And a servant bee, in a Jaguar car

"What is going on?" she said
Many questions were in her head
When she returned home, all bees were in bed
"Oh, no one is working" she said

Bees were not eating honey but bread
"I am going to tell the Queen" she said
She went to the Queen's room, with a heavy head
"Oh" the Queen was with a servant bee in bed

"What do you want , you idiot bee?"
"Busy bees I can no longer see"
"Are you dump? Today is free"
"A vocation, can't you see?"

The bee woke up with a heavy head
"Oh, what a nightmare" she sadly said


Details | I do not know? | |

A Message to These Girls on the 'Net

This is a message to these girls on the ‘net:
You are just lucky I haven’t met you yet.
I’m on to your games – I’m well aware;
Let me warn you, I’m not easy to scare.

(Go ahead and flirt with him)

Type up your cutesy comments,
All those desperate texts? I hope they’re sent.
Call him a hundred times and two more;
Leave enough voicemails to make your voice sore.

(Show him how desperate you really are.)

He’s mine now – all mine – so you better get a hint.
I’m getting really tired of this stupid stint.
Go find a life; go find a boy in reality.
It’s not my fault your heart has been a causality.

My boyfriend’s “cute”, my boyfriend’s “deep.”
Man, do you really think he’s that neat?
He’s a good listener – I know – makes you feel like you’re something.
Let me inform you: you are nothing.

I'll remind you again, he loves me
And I’m the only girl he wants to see.
Your words mean absolutely nothing to him.
So stop it … he’s not interested.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Treasures of My Soul

The more the world changes, the more it stays the same.
I was just telling my 2-year-old Dragon, this the other day.
Now I have a petulant Dragon, once I had a petulant child.
They might be very different, but they are both very wild.

I used to have a neighborhood coffee clutch, coffee, black, sugar, and milk.
Now its Starbucks for a mocha late espresso and it’s WiFi, or that ilk.
I used to be a chemist, jotting in my notebook of experiments every day.
Now, it’s a fancy computer playfully typing, while in Grandpa Troll’s lair.

The only difference I seem to find, as my arthritis begins to take hold…
Is that I’ve opened up a treasure Chest where I’m Merlin becoming bold.
Pearls of wisdom I now spout to a Dragon, as my mind begins to look around.
And some times he even listens… Naw! Remember he’s like my child!

And my 10-year-old black Lab is now laughing and talking directly to me.
My hubby lent me his Trolls, so I could begin to see the world, as it must be.
But, most of it’s seen in ‘time out’, across a lake from Dragon on the opposite shore.
We don’t see eye to eye very often, as Grandpa Troll, lays down the law, for sure.

Yes, my Treasure Chest is always over flowing now, with new and different things.
It seems Dragon likes to bring them home, while gliding in on his beautiful wings.
But he’s only 2 years old, and still needs a little motherly advice… like yesterday…
He found out my name isn’t Mama after all, and Dragon tears began to flood… all away.

So, I just cuddled him gently, as I told him my real name is, for the world’s whim.
But then, only one who shines so brightly, is allowed to call me Mama, just like him.
At that moment another pearl dropped into that over flowing, treasure chest of mine.
As Dragon keeps bringing a new way of life, filled with so much brilliant sunshine.

Happiness is a choice I’ve found, that suits me to a tea, and snippets from my Hubby…
Help keep the sunshine bubbling from that treasure chest, with my royal decree.
Still, as things keep changing around me, the more they seem to stay the same.
Now, I’m not writing only for my child, it’s toward other children… I aim. 


Details | Free verse | |

marking time....to my friends on poetry soup.- the Lord helped me fight death and won.

i don't want to be just marking

time.  i died on november 20,

2008, during surgery.  i was

on a vent when i awakened 

december 2, 2008....my sisters'

birthday. what made me llive

i'll never know.  i know there

are things to do on this side

of death.



i have no time for marking time.

i have a stupid bag hanging from

my side now.  i am supposed to

"get comfortable with it".  well

that was a laugh.

that was a laugh until i thought

of the people that had these

things with no hope of ever

getting away from them.



i am so lucky.  14 days i laid

on a vent, then 22 more.

i came home 3 days, 



then 


i had
great pain in my chest...
.
well this is great i said,

a pulmonary emboli, 15 more

days, three days home.



then back to e.r. blood pressure

too high.  this bought me 

4 more days in e.r.



i am home now and finally 

have spent 19 days home.

i feel every pain and i feel

every time that i feel good



yes, i am never marking

time again.....there is

something about fighting

for your life and your sanity

that straightens things out.



i don't recommend it but

i wish i could let your hearts

know what i know.

janetta


Details | Couplet | |

Out Cast

<                                Mirror mirror on the wall
                                  This isn't my face quite at all

                                  A ribbon in hair
                                  This seems so unfair

                                  Painted eyes
                                  Painted lips this I cry
                                  
                                 Dress of  lace
                                 I feel so out of place

                                 So I  cast this spell back to you
                                 Tee shirts and jeans will just have to do

                                 For now I tend to be running a little late
                                 From  mirror casting own spell which I hate


Entry For 
Matt Caliri's Mirror Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Wasting My Time { Edit }

<                               One by one they'll shall roll on and come
                                 Like soldiers marching to beaten drums
                                 Echoes  are acknowledge
                                 Cast across thy arched bridge
                                 Haste makes waste even for everyone




Inspired By
Carolyn Devonshire's Contest
Follower Or Leader
GL All


Details | Senryu | |

You Are My Sunshine

<                             covered chocolate
                       bursting ......  cherry implosions
                               over pallets tongue


                                                            
                           
                                a bit of sunshine
                         waiting for the right peeler ....
                             orange ya glad its you


Details | I do not know? | |

Chicken Noodle Soup




Chicken Noodle soup On a cold and winter day makes you feel all warm inside And ready to face today You slurp the noodles and you smile at its tastiness You drink the broth and giggle a little Its Chicken Noodle Soup So slurp away.


Details | Rhyme | |

Marriage in a nut shell

I said I do, 
But believe me I don’t
What I meant is I do
But she says hell you won’t
When I said I do 
I didn’t know it meant her way
So I should have said I don’t 
On that so called special day
But if I said I don’t
She would have convinced me I do
I should have ran off that day 
But me legs won’t go my way
Me tongue betrayed me
When it said I do
Just to find out later 
That if I do or won’t or don’t 
"I’m dammed if I do" 
"And I’m dammed I don’t"  


Details | Haiku | |

Christmas

A Christmas wish list
A quick glimpse into my life
Not much going on


Details | Quatrain | |

My Pillow


I love my pillow Fits my neck just right And I always win In a pillow fight!
Twenty Syllables Barbara Gorelick


Details | Limerick | |

On The Southern Alligator Farm

Down south on the small alligator farm
Alligators grown to size to alarm
All the workers there too scared
Of young gators as they aired
Parachuted food to keep them from harm

(Inspired by Carolyn's picture but not entry.)


Details | Burlesque | |

Late Mr.X's Life.

Crawled on thorns of life,
Then learnt to walk.

Starved for days,
Then learnt to earn bread.

Suffered from loneliness,
Then made friends and married.

Worked hard to keep
His family at ease.

Had wife to love
And children to respect.

Had friends to support
And neighbours to praise.

When he felt, all got right,
His final call came that night.


Details | Verse | |

Our House

It's such a great thrill being down in our house;
There isn't a chance of being quiet as a mouse:
With guitars and tellies and hi-fi and things;
Never-ending noise, then the telephone rings.

"It's my call". "No it's not, It's for me scream the choir."
They're all trying at once to yell down the wire.
Then just as the babbling begins to wane;
A knock at the door, Oh Help! -----it's Elaine.

"Can I borrow some coffee, some milk and some bread;
I'll return it next week", well that's what she said!
She plants herself down on a dining room chair,
Her soapbox cacophony splits open the air.

I usher her quickly out through the front door,
and dash to the loo, I can't take anymore.
I've made it in time just before the stampede,
who all, of course, have a far greater need.

It's now late at night, I'm about to retire;
To repose in my bed, is my one great desire.
Head on the pillow, now almost asleep;
Thump, bang, crash, wallop, from those horrible creeps.
They've returned from a party, it's all been great fun,
I wish I were the owner of a sub-machine gun!


Details | Rhyme | |

Contemplating Sewerage pipe

I stand on the cliff’s edge and look down,
The falling stones, I hear their resound.
I close my eyes to feel the winds embrace,
I sense its touch all over my face.

I’m alone,
No fear...
The white waters pound the rocks below,
If I fall...
Who would know.

This is my selfish experience
My life is of little significance
The coward’s way out
I feel the wind moving about

Its blowing on my back as if to say jump
It would be all over in a minute with a thump
But like something invisible keeping me on
Though I see the happy things in my life all gone

I decide not to do it, to step away
Then a sudden scream I heard, aimed my way
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
I slip over the edge with my face all screwing
I scream and start to bawl
“Urrrrrh!!!!! Arrrrrrrrrrrsehoooooooooole!!!”

The fear I now feel racing through me veins
And the pain I'm about to feel rushing through me brain
I helplessly lash out at the cliff edge 
And manage to grasp hold of a protruding bit of veg
I’m brought to a holt like a snap of a whip
Then snap, crackle and pop I’m moving again to finish of my trip

I hit the rocks with a promising thud
I punch the air and say “Thank you me Lard” 
Well I was air lifted to hospital with, a dislocated shoulder broken ribs and two leg bones,
If it weren’t for that hiker I would be ok walking home...

Ps some where amongst that bit of veg
If you ever climb down you'll see me teeth stuck on the cliff's edge


Details | Free verse | |

word morph - RAIN to SNOW

I awoke this morning to the sound of heavy RAIN
Downstairs a lake had formed, oh what a PAIN
Off I went to fetch my mop and PAIL

Nonetheless, my spirit does not FAIL
I made a temporary gutter out of FOIL
(This weather will not take me as a FOOL)

Now I sit and dry my soaking FOOT
That’s black because I trod in flakes of SOOT
Which must have fallen from my stove’s air SLOT

At last the rain it has begun to SLOW
But, alas, it’s only been replaced by SNOW


Details | Light Poetry | |

Autumn's Mellow Fruitfulness

This summer was so crazy with a drought but still where mosquitoes multiplied.
And we’re leaving behind a hurricane that attacked the Midwest from all sides.
The crops were lost as months of over 100-degree temperatures, drove us hard.
They were Months that steadily held us captive within our own house doors.

I was soooo looking forward to Autumn where every thing would step aside.
I was dreaming of cool nights so mellow and days where I could walk my dog.
Yes, where the dogs feet and our shoe bottoms, would not be melting off.
Where leaning over the fence while talking to neighbors could be done.

But then, BOOM, along came Autumn, and I do mean with a capital B-O-O-M!
Our acorn tree decided for the first time in 30 years…to go forth and bloom...
And the gumball tree with its little spikes, doesn’t ever want, to be outdone.
The trees are very old and big at more than three stories high, you know…

I shouldn’t have watered them soooo much during the drought and heat, with glee.
For those cute little acorns are now shooting off the trees at mock ten, I do believe.
They hit the house and ground, then ricochet with a force that makes me grieve.
Dozens come down, at a time, bouncing with speeds even planes can’t achieve.

Umbrellas don’t seem to work as they bounce off the house and patio below…
Lord…help me Jesus… I say, as I dodge back and forth, under the rain below…
My dogs won’t go outside… and even my birds have moved a few yards down…
To a more docile terrain we’re all bound, as we were steadily run, off ground.

Even the squirrels stopped trying to bury them, and have left it all behind, so forlorn.
They're hanging a few doors down as my ground has become, wall-to-wall acorns. 
Acorns have hit with so much force, that I’ve had to cover my windows for once.
I no longer sit by my window to write… Yep… Bazinga! Won, with a vengeance...

Once the acorns finally end…the spiky gumballs will be gleefully awaiting, to begin.
I’m looking forward to winter, though I begin to believe it’ll be an unusual clincher.
As I’ve learned to say… You never know when life will send you a… Bazinga!
And that... sometimes Autumn's fruitfullness isn't so mellow after all.


Details | I do not know? | |

A DRUNK DAY

nice clothes
nice shoes
couple of girls
but i got a main boo

nice car
on 22's
lift kit on it
it's another 4in boost

hop out
see my homies
it ain't my forte
but all them smoking

big whip
car full
been drinkin since 1
n yet we still partying

fitted cap
yankee logo
girls say im fly
now they reaching for my "you know"

wake up
hangover
a hurricane went through the house
thanks mr Hugo

team liqour
super sick
i know i was texting
but dont remember this chick

she mad
im laughing
she says im an asshole anyways
i say i'm sorry but it was just another drunk day


Details | Verse | |

WHOOSH

Joanna Davis

The whoosh of time it flies

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~so fast

From the dawn of our birth,

To the dusk of our past.

If the legacy is filled

with the laughter of child-like dreams,

it explodes with joy

and bursts at the seams

The residue will fly

right out into space

Then when you’re older

hit you right in the face

Your smile will be big

your eyes will be wide

Then~~~~~~~~~~ whoosh

you’re right back

To when you were a child.  






Details | Free verse | |

To Be Read Aloud

Are you listening? Open your ears
For this is to be read aloud it needs your voice 
Because it can not speak on its own...
This is a poem that I'll call a slam

One day I was feeling quite queazy
But had much shopping to do being breezy
No! I will not let a little gassy, nausea stop me
Chewing two tritalac which helps with that gas

It works by pushing all that gas down and outting
Easing the digestive track...A little walking 
You know like that morning constitutional
Helps to eliminate all the problems that are institutional

It must have been those beans in that Chili
They got down there and fermented really
Well I went to the garden center at Wally
You know Wally-World and thought that I would look around

There was not a soul or a sound around the grounds
Everything was quiet on the selling front..Not one of the personnel
To talk to or a customer ....I had this place all to myself
With those beautiful plants looking absorbed in the beauty

What is that over there...Let me go look
Concentrating..all alone
Gas moving moving in one great big
Bubble___ pootttttttttttttt
Looked up ...the man I never saw well he laughed.......HAAAAAAAAAAA!
Rolling in the floor laughter....

Embarrassed! Well, I'll let you decide...

(Well is this a slam!)


Details | Free verse | |

What Have You Done

My mind still wants to continue,
But my body feels the tiredness,
Can’t take it anymore I told you,
What have you done to me?

My eyes look so weary,
My hands are in pain already,
How many hours of spending time with you?
FACEBOOK games……… it’s your fault!!

I’m already addicted to you ever since,
My time is wasting but I think I’m enjoying?
Well it’s time for me to sleep you know,
Till we meet again tomorrow, oh I hope so.



For Skat's Under 15 Lines Contest
8th Place Winner



Details | Light Poetry | |

Dragon Fly

(To be read after my 'Fire and Brimstone'.)

Dragon Fly, Dragon  Fly, fly away home. You’ve caused enough trouble here, I am told.
All you wanted was to ring the church bell, but the belfry your body did not take well.
Terrible things happened all around, and the belfry you left is certainly not sound.
Old Lady Moore still has her cane, to protect them again, if you cause harm, within.
Old Lady Swanson’s lost hat is her major complaint, apologize profusely, be a saint!
The Church belfry will need lots of work; by the carpenter Trolls to fix it’s bridgework.
The people all need to calm down, they were scared and now the church is shutdown.
Looks like they’ll need a new fancy annex to be built for weddings and such… 
To help them  forgive… even… ever… slightly… enough. Though, of course…
The preacher himself…wants you back, for sure; I am definitely, and totally assured.
He’s never been inspired to such lofty greatness to soar, never, not even, once before.
He says you hold his key, to reach the lost, as they tune in to see what’s coming next.
He wants to add even, the Trolls to the mix. If they can be saved, well, you get the gist.
And you’ll have to attend church for quite a while, yes, still, as an itsy bitsy Dragonfly.
You’ll need to get forgiveness from all, you know, before you grow big, again, I am told.
The witch is quite clear on this spell, a dragonfly you’ll stay till everything’s made well.
Seems, you also, owe them an apology, for half scaring them… well… nearly to death.
Bumps, bruises, and a broken arm need to heal, from jumping over the pews, they feel.
Plus some of the teenagers, have made tee shirts of you, and want your autograph, too.
You see, your limited edition, when signed, will pay their way to bible camp, this time.
And the girl with the cast on her arm, wants a picture of you on a leash, so be charming!
You see, you scared her, a really whole lot, if she can pet you, her fear will be forgot.
It seems, you really messed up, this time, you see… but all will be forgiven, eventually.
So Dragon Fly, Dragon Fly, fly away home. They understood, once your story was told.
If you agree to all I have said: They’ll give you a bell outside, to ring before church…
Each and every Sunday Morn, with a special alcove, made for only you, to perch...

Remember, if God can love a mischievous little Dragonfly... And he can love you, too.
So until next church time... Bye Bye...


Details | Couplet | |

Whats Sexy to Me

What’s sexy to me, changed with my age
It’s something different at each life stage

During my pre-teens, what turned me on
Were the toys and games played on the lawn

A teenage kiss put me in a twirl
That was the age I discovered girls

The dating years were sexy and great
The came my honeymoon with my mate

Then a young adult’s sexist thrill
Was our first child; she forgot the pill

My middle age major commotion
A sexy bonus or promotion

Golf was sexy in retirement years
So was kicking back, having a beer 

What’s sexy now I’m seventy-five
Is to wake up and still be alive

Submitted by Charles Sides
“Sexy!” Poetry Contest


Details | Rhyme | |

Possibilities

See the toddler traipsing by
His diaper hanging low

See the cool cat in his baggy pants
How much lower can they go?

Toddler seems to have made a number two
Really needs a diaper change

For the young fella with the baggy pants
Appears that possibility may also be true?


Details | Limerick | |

Viagra

I once had a wife named Cleopatra
Who expected me to perform some abracadabra
My body is old
But I became bold
So I went off to the drug store for some viagra


Details | Free verse | |

Can Money Buy Philosophy

I hate being deep, being philosophical and contemplative.
I much prefer to be analytical, judgemental, and cynical.

However, I am feeling much more the former than the latter.
I am pondering the concept of money.
I feel philosophical—money has the power to break up marriages,
cause deep depressions, even the power to create a stomach ulcer.
Yet it is only a few grams of metal, or even worse, a stingy piece of paper,
which has probably been through the wash a few times by now.

While I contemplate, ruminate with these thoughts, 
I come to a deep realization,
the cynic within me cannot even hide for a moment, 
while I pretend to be philosophical.


Details | Narrative | |

The Poop of Life

THE POOP OF LIFE The poop word is a replacement For the other four letter word You know the one that means poop The one you have most likely heard There is a lot of poop in our life That is really like our body poop Both are really a necessity for living Let me give you the comparison scoop The type of food taken in your body Or what is fed into your life for you Will certainly determine precisely What type of poop you’re getting in to If you let the poop get all built up You tend to want to push and strain In hopes to hurry and force it out That can only cause cramps and pain Slow down and take a deep breath It really is always best to just relax The more you try to lighten up yourself The easier it will be for the poop to pass It’s time to worry if you have no poop Or if you just can’t get that poop out Keep it fresh and make room for more It feels great when it is all cleaned out A stall full of poop has the best worker As Proverbs 14:4 suggestively does say So a good worker does poop a lot Please don’t let it pile up for days No one wants to step in your poop Or even wants to see it for that matter We need to clean up our own poop Every little particle or a tiny splatter It is important to remember To always wipe twice It’s like double checking And it’s really the best advice If the same old poop is left Just every where lying around It only attracts the flies and scum Those pests from every part of town At times there may be a lot Of just stinky hot air Then sometimes you get The real poop coming there There are many different types Of shapes, sizes and textures With the daily poop we’re given The variety of life is measured I could probably go on and on Even you may think of more, I know So I’ll leave you with this one last note Try not to get caught in deep poop though Florence McMillian (Flo)


Details | Rhyme | |

Blatant Irony

She exists for a man only

He achieved what a man can

That of trying a trick abstractly

She easily got henned in hand!

Decisions are tough, exclaimed she aloud

Life in love is not easy 

He, a rose in hand, proud

Rose up to a plane above

She, a tender one with exalt

Thought of love as sincere admiration

Found out the abrupt truth, abomination!

Her only precious asset his inspiration

Her own body, as sexy asphalt!


Details | Haiku | |

Your Going Down

<                           beneath waterfall
                        let your troubles wash away ... 
                             cesspool is waiting





Entry For John Freeman's
The Precept Natures Haiku
G.L. All


Details | Quatrain | |

Long Live Love

A toss of the head
A flick of her hair
The wave of her hand
As her beauty did flare
 
Her bountiful step
The spring in her stride
Her laugh as we waked 
Hand in hand through the tide
 
Her mouth with its smile
As we wrote in the sand
Her cries of frustration
As sea coated the land
 
Those little I love yous
Meant so much back then
That on annual vacations
We repeat them again
 
For least we forget 
In the daily ado
Our marrital vows
Mean forever I do


Details | Free verse | |

sea salt shaker

when my body is done
put me in an oven 
and bury my ashes in a 
sea salt shaker

scatter me sparingly
as you would 
a fine condiment
in a recipe
into your daily life
during its preparation 
so that 
we may add the flavor
and the texture 
of the past

when it is all gone
you 
can refill 
the sea salt shaker


Details | Couplet | |

MY BEST BAD CHOICE poetry contest ADULTERY

        MY BEST BAD CHOICE

Was a time --not long ago
When you begged me sweet and low

“Cast your net upon the sea
Quickly,darling, marry me!”

My heart caught 
and in a minute
My life was soup
And I was in it

A fair eyed man means dangerous shores
& I'm adrift-- mid rocks galore

On a current, flashing fins
You cast your line--
And hook sweet sins

And, at work you cannot think
When fishy eyes blink out a wink

Even friends are not off limits
When tides wash in the vodka gimlets

Do I hate you, yes, I could
Do I hate you, no, I should

A straying man on marriage seas
Navigates adulteries

When asked to re-chart his course
He usually stomps and screams “divorce”

MORAL 1:

Mixing metaphors and such
Keeps the critics out of ruts

MORAL 2:

Straying husbands/shagging rabbits
Cannot/willnot change their habits.




Victoria Anderson-Throop
Oct 10, 2012


Details | Pantoum | |

Old Shattered Pieces

Old chair shattered pieces trash now
I'm envious of my love's new chair
For he softly lays his sleepy brow
Upon that brown leather without a care

I'm envious of my love's new chair
For he snuggles down close sleeps
Upon that brown leather without a care
Rests, dreams, and quietly talks peeps

For he snuggles down close sleeps
In this big man new leather recliner
Rest, dreams, and quietly talks peeps
This big man who rest then is kinder

In this big man new leather recliner
He caresses the leather gently
This big man who rest then is kinder
While he rest I watch him intently

He caresses the leather gently
For he softly lays his sleepy brow
While he rest I watch him intently
Old chair shattered pieces trash now


Details | Free verse | |

This Is Your Pilot Speaking

Under the lamp light 
I found the crying mouth
Though everywhere I walk 
I run into flowers
My hands guided 
By your brimming eyes
My inward pilot
My harried captain 
Is a ghost 
Of what machinery there was
But I 'll do it anyway
I'll lie down on the graves with you
Keep grasping at the grasping
Loving in the darkness
Drawing wings 
On cave walls
Under the lamp light
I found the crying mouth


Details | Rhyme | |

And Goliath Said

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Limerick | |

Easy Come, Easy Go

I bought a lottery ticket
I told the cashier - "Just pick it,"
I was surprised when she said,
"If you win, we'll go to bed;"
now all my cash is gone - "Frick It!"


For "Lottery Ticket Limerick" contest sponsored by Susan Burch.




Details | Senryu | |

' Guess Who's Coming To Dinner - (2) ...' 70th Senryu

‘ Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner – (2) … ’  70th  Senryu


     We All Need To Know:
What Time Justice, Being Served ?
 ‘Cause, GOD Made Dessert !


Details | Limerick | |

Fathers Cute Little Words

My fathers’ cute little words and sayings,
Like, that is just for the birds, in lashings.
Akumpucky in way,
Epigutis he’d say.
My father was big man in displaying.

.
Akumpucky was cream or compound.
Epigutis was the disease he found.
His words were so very cute.
You would never try dispute.
Powerful man would win any round.


Written for

Sponsor Francine Roberts 
Contest Name My Parent 


Details | Free verse | |

Hot Southern Mess

I am not some successful rich man
I am merely a man of simple taste
I do not drink champagne or drive sports cars
I drink nice cold beer and drive a jacked up Chevy

I am not some intellectual genius
I just learn with my two hands
I do not have some tightly cramped office job
I break my back working at the loading docks

I do not go to any five star reservation restaurants 
Kentucky Friend Chicken and Cracker Barrel do just fine
I do not listen to the music of Frank Sinatra or Tony Bennett
Hank Junior and Skynyrd are a part of my life

I do not have a big house
I simply own a tiny shack on a big piece of land
I do not know how to play the clarinet or cello
The guitar is basically my third arm

I may not have a pearly white smile
I may not be some smart sophisticated gentleman
But there is one thing I know that I am
And that is one hot southern mess


Details | Verse | |

Bike Night

It's a two-wheeled cruising machine -
alloy spokes, bent handlebars, 
custom seat and paint job...
yet, I get these very odd looks
and wild laughter when I pull my bicycle up
to an establishment that advertises:
"Tonight is bike night - Cheap beer."
Is it my biking shorts?
Is it my cleated shoes?
I know it can't be my custom machine...
everyone at the bike trail comments 
on how nice of a two-wheeler I have!
I've even gotten dates because of my bike!!
A man on his custom cruising machine
out to get a couple of cheap beers...
I just can't figure it out!!!



My Bicycle / Gwendolen Rix


Details | Acrostic | |

CONTENT

Connecting with loved ones will help you 
Overcome obstacles and experience happiness. 
Nothing is more powerful than love.
Take the time, slow down
Enjoy those smiles, giggles, practical jokes
Noises the dogs make when they play
Thankful for life every second, of every day, in every way


Details | Light Poetry | |

Along came a Spider

An evil spider dropped down from behind. Help me! Help Me! She cried!
Oh white Knight… Can you save me? I’m on my tuffet trying to make a rip tide.
Where is he? Where is he? I can’t see it! He’s behind me, she cried!
The great white knight dropped every thing, to save his damsel in distress!
I can’t see it… I can’t see it… Save my bacon please…
If I try to move away from my white porcelain tuffet… he will surly get me!
A fierce battle ensued, as the knight grabbed his toilet paper sword.
Move away you snarly fiend, he roared!
Back and forth… Back and forth… They battled on endlessly.
She is mine, said the knight… No! She is mine said the spider, repeatedly
Finally, the white knight ruled supreme, with a final thrust of his paper sword! 
The white knight vanquished the evil spider, as he jumped upon the floor!
Now, you are safe my fair damsel, he decried, to continue your porcelain quest.
Then the White knight gathered his belongings and scampered away, doing his best.
With a ‘No need to get up miss’, she continued on her quest.
A blue haze eventually drifted in, as her thanks rang out, and she did attest. 
He had truly been her hero, of the great conquest…

Dated 6-8-2013


Details | Rhyme | |

Friday Night

It’s Friday night; party time,
And I’m ready to get jacked up;
Mix some mega cocktails,
In my hot pink solo cup;

I’m down to play some quarters,
But beer pong is my sport;
And trust me, when this nights over,
I won’t be walking without support;

This week has been exhausting,
I’m ready to drink it all away;
Wash away my sorrows,
‘til I slur every word I say;

I’m ready to shut this work week down,
By partying with my friends;
And hopefully the sun will be rising,
By the time that this night ends!


Details | Haiku | |

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I loathe sleepless nights!!

Eyes itchy, open
Red and heavy. Limbs like weights.
Insommnia stinks...


Details | Free verse | |

Monster Mowers

I am quite content with my little mowing machine; it does the job for me.
But not my crazy neighbors whom I used to call my friends, briefly…
Now they’ve become competitive, crazed out, monsters looking for a win.
Competition was breed deep within, and power is a drug therein…
So when one got a riding mower, the other did one more.
But that was not enough, as the escalation carried forth, for sure…
Now one has torn his fence down, to let his monster roar right in.
The poor guys now need ladders to get upon their seats to take a spin.
And the motors are so powerful; they throw grass way down the street.
The noise is so very deafening, that to forget the roar, it takes all week.
And the tires are so very big that they trample the grass, I swear.
But that doesn’t seem to deter them, as they continue planning in their lairs.
It appears speed is now their latest thought, with which they were truly blessed.
And it doesn’t seem to matter that their yards are the size of a mouses' nest.
So I ran away down the street, the last time they launched those baby’s forth.
And I took out more insurance, in case they go beyond their intended mark.
You see my house sits right between them, and I’m worried they’ll land upon my 
roof.
Especially after they were asking my hubby, how fast jet engines can go forth…
And what about nitro burners… will they help give speed and power, too?
In desperation, trying to save my house, I bought front-page newspaper space…
There I declared a place in the city park where safely they could race.
And added: whoever could mow it fast with the best job, would win first place…
And in Hollywood they would find themselves in the new reality show craze.
I found getting someone to film this fiasco wasn’t so very hard to find.
The entire city came out, including the police, ambulances and all, with them in mind
When the competition was over, the mowers were broken and thoroughly spent.
The final declaration was found to be: they’d only simply tied and not won yet…
In the end, one mower was in the city pool and the other on the mayor's car.
The police dispersed the ensuing fight, between those two, not finding it funny at all.
Fortunately, the Doctors said they’d live, their injuries were really rather small.
So they both went home undefeated, to continue the race again once more.
And the only person to truly gain that day was I; you need not have a doubt.
I sold the film to Hollywood… And used the funds to buy a far-a-way, different 
house. 


Details | Haiku | |

I always wondered-1

I always wondered 
if he knew my name
he called me Buddy.


Details | Tail-rhyme | |

aabaab

Life without you is boring.
At least with you i felt like soaring.
Take my hand and we'll shoot for the stars.
I feel like a crazy bear always roaring.
I don't want to say this but could you please stop snoring?
I'll take off in a flash, but you know where to find me- at the bar.


Details | Couplet | |

Gabi

Gabi wakes up with a frown,
Gabi drags her feet around,

Gabi’s room’s a real mess,
Gabi cannot find her dress,

Gabi’s lost most of her toys,
Gabi has a squeaky voice,

Gabi’s homework may look shabby,
I cannot live without Gabi.


Details | Rhyme | |

Pressure is a treasure








                                             Pressure makes diamond , they say
                                                 Diamond can't break , no way
                                                    , So when things get bad
                                                      Be patient , don't be sad


Details | Ballad | |

The Human,The Demon, And The Angel

The Human,The Demon, And The Angel

I'm the one who must stay
I'm the one who must kill you
I'm the one who must reverse time

I am to die when the new moon is in range
I am the one to be your executioner your taker of life
I am to observer and to take note of everything and of every life


Who are you to say I have no future
I say what I please for I am the bringer of death
I want to help I wish to free you I need to save you

There is no more time for my life 
You never had a life to begin with
She was free until you stole her very being

I am the human who must die
I am the demon who only wants her body for it kill
I am the angel who will take her soul once her body is gone

We are in one body
We are in one mind
We are three trapped by one bond

These times are different then the last 
These times are different then when I was young
These times are different then when the earth was made

Oh how we let this control us
Oh how we take our worlds and live for such granted
Oh how we let who we are put fear in our hearts


I leave this to you
I leave this to you
I leave this to you

We have exceed 
We have flown 
We have drowned
We have died
We have lived
We have made many wonders
We have created a new life
We have done evil deeds
We have done good deeds
We have but to wait for the one day
We have but to wait for our freedom
We have each other 
We have nothing but that
We have nothing but each other and to wait 
We have to wait for freedom


Details | Couplet | |

MEN OF GOD

         MEN OF GOD

Kenya is a Godly nation
Check on any TV station
Starts at dawn and goes all day
Teaching people how to pray

Then at night it's shilling serious
With the watchers drunk –delirious-
If you want the chance to pray
First you get the chance to pay

“Men of God,” my colleague swilled--
“Deserve a special God-rate bill.
When I do a job for them
Charge them twenty not just ten.”


 Victoria Anderson-Throop ©
12/01/12  Juja, Kenya  Africa





Details | Limerick | |

My Mum!

The blue, clear sea, just so calm.
Exactly like my dear Mum.
She had never, ever raged. 
Though she may have a little aged. 
I stick to her like gum!


Details | Sonnet | |

A Love Sonnet

.                                                  A Love Sonnet
                                       Composed By: Sara Kendrick


                            Oh! What can I say of my love that's true

                             I just love a game of life with good rules

                     For knowing the rules~~following same~~no sue~

                     Like first write my name so I am known**cool**

            
                               This poem about love is dedicated

                               To a woman who Rambles poetry

                             Constance La France who meditated

                              Meditated, relaxed__watching trees


                            In her homeland of Canada life's ease

                       With her vintage clothes, a paying job~~well~

                          She is set to enjoy what I have to please

                      That she is so nice to comment on my tall tale



                          Let me summarize and not least disguise
 
                      Bending rules, dancing around right  is not wise


Details | Blank verse | |

SOME PLANET OF AN EXCUSE

GET IT OFF
THE BACK OF THE WORKER BEE
AND PUT THE WORLD IN MOTION
TO FREE THE PATH 
TO THE SEE

GET IT ON 
THE FLOOR 
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LIE
DEEPER AND DEEPER 
TO THE CENTER OF THE SKY

FLOATING FREE
SUSPENDED IN A SOUP 
OF ALPHABETS AND STARS
SPELLING OUT THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD 
AND THE DIRECTION TO MARS

WHAT RELIGION IS MARS
WHAT COLOR IS ITS SKIN
WHAT IS ITS SEXUAL PREFERENCE 
AND BECAUSE OF THEM 
ARE THEY THE CENTER OF OUR SIN 

OR POSSIBLY
JUST
SOME PLANET OF AN EXCUSE


Details | Free verse | |

Tradin' Fever

Around these parts trading fever is what its called
It comes around âbout ever fall!
The fever will come and go when it will subside 
no one knows!
These men are said to be the last great
 horse traders of our time a dyin'  breed the 
last of their kind!
When the fever hits they will trade anything they own!
They live by a motto, adone deal is set in stone!
The all trade horses, mules knives and guns to them
this is real fun!
They swap their lies and tales, retracing old stomping grounds
and trails!
They come and stay all day, whittling and spinning
 their yarns of those good ole days back on the farm!
 
Dedicated to my Father  D.G. Lucas


Details | Limerick | |

You're Going To Get It Now But Good

<                             once there was an old cat named chessur
                               only listened to alice for sure
                               but sometimes dissappeared 
                               and left behind grins smear
                               so I've gone mad and shaved off hides fur





Entry For Debbie Guzzi's
Go Ask Alice Contest
        G.L. All


Details | Rhyme | |

Warning for Future Parents

What to do when starting at 1

2 at a time now 3 is done

4 is fun yet 5 has come 

and 6 is here should we've begun

Oh no now 7 could this be true

and 8 and 9 what to do

add a 1 and no more too

that makes 10 what a crew

Remember though when starting 

at 1 that making the kids is part of the fun

So I warn you all when starting at 1 

be responsible in your love with your daughters and sons 


Details | Rhyme | |

She Still Wants to Know

Am I still attractive in the nude?
Have I maintained a girlish attitude?
Do you still dream about and desire me?
Do you want to be with me sexually?

Do I still wear that come hither look?
Is my name still in your black book?
Do I have that sparkle in my eyes?
Do I put some life in your Levis?

Do you want to act inappropriate?
Is inside my pants where you want to get?
Do you want your hands all over me?
Do you still enjoy my whole body?

It doesn’t matter how old I am,
These are things I still need to know.
I always want to be a real woman
And want you to give it a go.


Yes, you are still all those things, Now come over here and give me a little kiss.
Are you crazy, old man? Is that all you ever think about?
Uuuugghhhhhh!!!!!


Details | Free verse | |

the Sunny Day Blues Man

living for the moment
ended life as we knew it 
but i'm just doing whatever
kind of hoping 
for some entertainment 
along the way

a day in the life 
of the sunny day blues man
hands down 
this is the best i ever was
the best i'll ever be
don't you agree

the sunny day blues man
isn't it funny the way news slants
the return of the sunny day blues man
just be happy with what you choose man
Never a better option than a given hand
thank god for the sunny day blues man

hope isn't a measure 
it's just tested time
a clamp of suspense 
when the moments array
an echo of needs 
to balance out 
the ways things seem
desire
is the best you and I 
will ever be
don't you agree

the sunny day blues man
isn't it funny the way news slants
the return of the sunny day blues man
just be happy with what you choose man
Never a better option than a given hand
thank god for the sunny day blues man

at times life seems to cycles 
signals of distress
vanity and cupcakes 
i know, it's a brute mess
but along with the irony 
comes pancakes 
yes, the madness seems to iron me
yet i am still here

the eyes a thinker
life of a fighter
hands of a lighter weight 
unburdened 
when smiles reflected a pinch of hurting
because in punishment
the sunlight just couldn't outreach the curtains
though we take the steps alike
we trespass the worries to vaguely
but it was times like these that made me 
and it's the best i'll ever be

"the things we accept in steps of courage"


Details | Light Poetry | |

Road Rage(Footles)

"Lights Beam"
"Horns Sing"

"Beep Beep"  
"You Creep"

"Face Frown"
"Slow Down"  

"Move It"
"Dim Wit"

"Scream Shout"
"Look Out"

"Dirty Smirk"
"You Jerk"               





Details | Limerick | |

If I were A Boy



Now if I were a boy I'd burp a lot I'd be mischievous and not get caught I'd learn to spit Smelly gas emit And when peeing I'd not have to squat
For the " If I were a Boy" contest...


Details | Limerick | |

Anti-carnal Psuedo-arsenal

She cries that her life is full of reality
All the while drowning out actuality
   The visions she shouts
   Are steeped in her doubts
She clearly has issue with sensuality


Details | Limerick | |

HughWest

There’s a man you know as Hugh West
Writing poetry is what he does best
But then I reckon
Poetry is second
To eyeing my voluptuous chest


Details | Rhyme | |

At Morning Play

The sun shines gently upon me. 
The birds are busy at play.
The children are sleeping. 
The cats are out creeping.
And the dog has been barking all day.

The birds cackle and chirp;
As they play a round of hide and seek.
The dog watches with excitement, 
as the cat strolls by so frail and meek.

A good morning kiss from the sun to the world.
Its a brand new day.
wake up boys and girls.


Details | Limerick | |

Funny Colors

Blue eyes sparkle, when fun, hits the brain.
Cheeks red and cheery, when it’s insane,
Cute smile turns me pink.
Chuckles, urge a wink. 
One’s giggles bubbly, as white champagne.


Details | Free verse | |

Wish Granted in Nine Days


Nine days of waiting for the results,
For the good news that I've been dreaming,
To take my vacation for one month,
Wish granted that’s what I've been praying.

The time has come and I’m so happy,
To be away from my busy world,
Take a rest while I still have a chance,
White beaches wait for me…I’m coming!
.
.
.
.
“Wake up!” It’s 9 o ‘clock! …………Ohhh, A DREAM?


January 19, 2013
For Tracie's Contest "9"
1st Place Winner




Details | Rhyme | |

THE ROSEBUD ROUSEABOUT

THE ROSEBUD ROUSEABOUT 
                   
[ These days when Poets are unsure of spelling, they turn  to the spell check icon 
on their computers to help out.   The results though can sometimes leave you in 
the dark. ] 
 
My mind was on some new bush verse 
Based 'round the shearing shed, 
But spelling was my weakest point; 
A thing that poets dread. 
 
The word in tow was rouseabout 
I really was in doubt. 
My good old spell check icon though, 
Would surely help me out. 
 
I moved my cursor to the square 
And clicked the space called start; 
Then rouseabout came on the screen, 
With help there on a chart. 
 
Most rouseabouts are manly lads 
Young Kidmans on the grow, 
Though what it did suggest to me, 
Showed some folk sure don't know. 
 
It did not recognize the word - 
Not found - the thing displayed, 
But said, you should  try ROSEBUD sir, 
Some help, I felt betrayed.  


Details | Ballad | |

FROM THE HEART I'LL SING

I have a God given talent
I rejoice but not ever lament
They said it is a wonderful thing
I must do share and sing

Some may or may not listen
Even though as long as I win
Not of fame but of joyous hearts
For so long been gloom and apart

The high and low notes, I'll reach
Tactful enough to be on right pitch
I may swing in a fidget ditch
It's fine as long as I'll not miss

I will tunely swing both my arms
Harmoniously to the music at hand
I may open and close my eyes 
To feel each lyrics in vies

It's not only my voice that sings
Also does my heart it rings
Uncaring the people's glances
Displaying this in chosen chances

By: olive_eloi
10:27am
01/23/2014

--------------------»»»»


Details | Rhyme | |

Ear Plug


Details | Rhyme | |

The Reunion

Plagued with signs of aging
Only the eyes bore a semblance
These were faces I used to know
Yet I barely see a resemblance.
Hair that once was wavy and long
Now barely grows in sprinkles
The face that never had a flaw
Now creased with lines and wrinkles

My eyes slowly traveled the room
Trying to look so nonchalant
Reveling in all the rounded figures
Sporting an out-of-date bouffant.
And to think I once was jealous
And made to feel so out of place
By this very group of matriarchs
Without a sign of youth to trace

How gracefully I’ve aged
As I compared  myself to these
How much younger I appear
I’ve sailed the years with ease.
The sound of voices intermingling
Draws me back to reality
Scarcely believing what I’m hearing
They’re saying the same things about me!


Details | Rhyme | |

Realization

I have never considered myself to be an old man
Though clues a plenty have been evident along the way

Eyes have dimmed, my gait has slowed but I still do what I can
But realization got my attention, slammed me hard today

Standing on a street corner, I nodded and smile at a lady so young, so sweet
She kindly extended her hand and offered to help me across the street


Details | Rhyme | |

Frog Song

Frog Song 

I'll hop through fields of green
It could be quite a perfect scene
Y'know I've been through a lot
Fightin' epic battles like Sagat

But sometimes I want to give in
When I can't see within
I'm just a frog in a world full of swans
Wishin' I was too cool like James Bond

I fill my days by writin' these lines
That define the inner mastermind
But when I take a breath and look above
The stars remind me that I'm still in love

A silly little frog with insane dreams
Could never be as well known as Cream
But maybe I could be like Jimi Hendrix
Or maybe I could write a little spin mix

I'm just hoppin' along through life
Carefree and tryin' to avoid strife
Even though the snakes are out there
They will never leave me shaken and scared

Because I hop along the roads I believe
Like Frogger, man, I know I can achieve
Because I can battle through adversity
With versatile lines and can be quite witty

I'll hop through fields of green
Tryin' not to be a fool like Charlie Sheen
My ending will trump Mass Effect 3's
But with an ending like that it'll be a breeze


Details | Free verse | |

Everyone's Watching

And I’m released in tiny bursts,
Like suddenly remembering what color the sun is,
Like remembering we’re all a bit like laser beams.
Why do I lean against the walls of the cave,
Self-regulating my impulses and bright-eyed notions
In a bubbling laboratory, upended with what I thought I wanted,
And what I felt was true?

That blue cord of boundless vision is either suddenly in shadows,
Or doesn’t want to come to the party as often.
Or you’re sitting on it and you don’t even realize it.
What's the bother? You’re making it all up, anyway.

Though it does matter what you’re creating.
Everyone’s watching.
This is the time and you know it.
And as vanity runs to the basement
The blue hues brittle into something near bliss.


Details | Dodoitsu | |

Driving

I take a drive in the woods.
Viewing beauty all around
Relaxed, calm until I see.
An empty fuel gage.


Details | I do not know? | |

Forgetfulness x-x

Oh no!! I forgot – I had a plate of dessert In the cool freezer Oh no!! Dad forgot – He left his blue bowl of fruit On the clean counter!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Over The Hill Footle

what you will
    when over that hill

    well your feet will swell
               and body might smell 
 
                           your hair will grey 
                                  want to be lazy all day

                                         tummy will sag
                                             eyes will bag

                                                    get bunions too
                                                          on heels how shrew

                                                                     lose some teeth
                                                                               OMG good grief

                                                                                         so if you will
                                                                                               take it slowly up that hill


Entry For Brian Strand's 
What You Will Contest

I chose Footle

                                                              

                                                                                                       


Details | I do not know? | |

Friends with a Girl

"Friends with a Girl"

        She stood on a hill.. with the sun in her hair..
     I.. was frozen in fear..
          In a valley of shadows..my heart.. slowly sank..
      As she walked.. ever closer.. and near..
           Shaking..my hands.. tried to move ..
             Not a chance.. 
       Lifting my head..my eyes fell across her..
           She seemed to float...like a dream..
        I was amazed.. how her eyes drew me in..  
             Like a hunter.. she quietly found me..    
     So you want to be my friend.. she asked..
          Not a question.. her answer ..she knew..
      So you like to walk me on the path.. she said..
          Again.. she told the truth..
                             I was just a boy.. hardly able to breathe..
                       So it seemed..
               She took my hand.. and broke the ice.. 
           My curse was no longer found..
                Suddenly the world in which I lived.. became alive..
       All around.. everything I knew.. had been a lie..
              The world was black and grey.. before her kiss..
          I watched.. the colors exploding in the sky..
               So this.. is what I would have missed..
         Only now.. I know.. this girl's a friend..
                        Before we met.. I ask.. did I exist?                    


Details | Limerick | |

February Funny Bone

All was peaceful till that fateful day
The 5th, the result of my father’s way,
Sunrise quarter-to-eight
Slipped through life’s open gate,
Three month early, should have been May.

Harry Horsman for Linda-Marie's contest
February Funny Bone.


Details | Burlesque | |

Relax Honey The Worms Will Play

Relax Honey... The Worms Will Play!

Oh honey one day,
We will both part;
To rot in graves,
And waste away:
Playing with worms,
And dancing with maggots,
As they climb all around.
Relax love all is well!
Soon we'll be down bellow,
Cavorting with the others, under the ground.


Details | Couplet | |

The Closing of 2011

While the door was closing on two thousand eleven
I was soundly asleep for I went to bed at seven

Dreaming of a beach where I was basking in the sun
Sipping margaritas and having lots of fun

Sleep as I get older has become quite a task
Without enough dark circles leave a raccoon mask

Staying up past midnight I now leave to the young
Call me a party pooper and I’ll just stick out my tongue

May two thousand twelve bring beginnings that are new
It’s late and past my bed time so I bid you “adieu!”


Written: Debra Squyres on 1-10-2012
For: Members Contest "Happy New Year"
Sponsored by:  Francine Roberts


Details | I do not know? | |

the princess can talk

I tend to whine
it's a dark gift
passed down through many generations
I am the culmination
the absolute sheer perfection
of whining

See, I whine EFFECTIVELY
I actually accomplish things
or get others to accomplish my things
simply by whining

not to be confused with browbeating
or nagging
that is just so...
welfare 

Ok, so I can maybe be annoying
or cloying
that is so...
Well fair


Details | Haiku | |

The Black Sheep

We had a black sheep
He used to follow us to school
He was such a fan!


Details | Free verse | |

Glitter World

Glitter World
I see the world as my pearl
My place to take a whirl
And twirl around like a sexy girl
A place where there is little turmoil
My world is place
Where all flags can
Freely unfurl
Where a boy’s hair can curl
Everything’s glitter in my little world.


Details | I do not know? | |

FEAR!!!!!

I RUN from FEAR.

I HUNT for FEAR.

I HIDE in FEAR.

I FIGHT cause of FEAR.

I'm FAR from you.

I'm SCARED cause of you.

You're the FEAR that I HUNT.

You're the FEAR that I FIGHT.

You're the FEAR that SCARED me for LIFE.

*Comment if you have any thought and if you like it. oh and some of the poems i write arn't 
always my feelings. their some times just to get through other people so they can have 
something to read that just fit's them.*

                                              -Angel4eva23


Details | Quintain (English) | |

This Year's Bucket List

The years are picking up speed This last one just seemed to fly To old age I soon must concede But before life passes me by Hang Gliding I really must try ..
Barbara Gorelick 1/8/12 Happy New Year contest


Details | Senryu | |

The A-Team

Here comes Santa Claus
The Easter Bunny’s with him
Great! Tooth Fairy too!


Details | Rhyme | |

Yes Dear With Flighty Emotions

Scrub floors or walk the plank
Cook continuously
Emotions flighty felt
Swim vigorously in sea

What bad could happen next
On sea floating within inch
Of boat with slow gait
What an experience

Next time I'll just say,
"Yes, dear" for it  will be
Much safer than the plank
And sharks in open sea.


Details | Limerick | |

THE BIRDS AND THE BEE'S

There once was a bird and a bee
They both had a secret, you see.
The bee loved the bird.
She thought it absurd.
The bird, then, decided to flee!

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: Birds and the bees 	
Sponsored by: Royal Trevino

© February 20, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen


Details | Alliteration | |

Firecrackers (Alliterations)

In a pick pack boom a wonderful light in the sky
Beaming gleaming screaming people out in the street
Watching the parade of light danced, glanced tranced
Happy sappy snappy to watch the firecrackers so beautifully
Amazing as it make the sky lively sparkly wonderfully
It shone in the dark out in the park making the mark
A sign of celebration in a cloud nine look so divine
Graces in the space a part of beauty to embrace

22/9/07


Details | Dodoitsu | |

Grandma Shopping

Discount strip mall far away
One store in mind to search yea
A shoe store that has real styles
Get lost there awhile

Up and down rows more rows_shoes
Danity, fancy, delicate_choose
One catches eye_stilettoes
Try maybe safely

One pair with those high high heels
Sit down slip one on sit still
Lovely shoes beauty to see
Stand up fall on knees

Dodoitsu is suppose to be either about love or humorous
I hope this one gives you a chuckle...

Had written for Linda-Marie's contest
but realized I had left the most important part out..


Details | Blank verse | |

DADDY

My Daddy scuttles across the ocean floor,
Let tons of seawaters flow past him,
Over him,
As he makes subsonic noises
Protesting my sins.

The waters listen,
As do fish and sharks
And other predators of the sea,
The sea horse dances its traditional dance.
Seaweed’s weave and sway,
As if in chorus.

The villainous dragon from Monsters Inc.,
Changes color and does his disappearing,
Shrek awaits luncheon in his swamp,
Daddy is late, he has ‘diver’s’ cramp.

I patiently explain to him
The phraseology of Rap,
The mechanics of whoring 
Just outside the Kremlin,
But with magnifying glass,
He still looks for gray in Lenin’s beard.

A thousand Pol Pots were David Copperfield, 
No less, spinning agrarian dreams for Daddies like
him,
And other Daddies like Uncle Ho,
Paddy growing from the barrel of a gun.
Gorbachov had the world on his head,
But ultimately, the Drunk pointed cannon at the Duma,
And won.

‘Daddy, understand the dialectics 
Of the spinning wheel in Atlantic City,
Otherwise as Donald Trump would say,
You’re fired!’ 


Details | Limerick | |

Banana Surprise

Banana went to culinary college
Yellow, firm, wanted so much knowledge,
Standing up in last class,
Ending up in large mass,
Now was the time for all to acknowledge.


Written for

Sponsor Deborah Guzzi 
Contest Name The once was a man from Dunkirk.. 


Details | Blank verse | |

Cut open my brain

When I die 
Cut open my brain 
To see 
How I died
And how I lived

Check out its size and shape 
To see what direction 
I was going in 
And what direction 
I was coming from.

Check out its color and its intensity  
To see the mood 
I was in 
And the mood of  
Those around me

Check out its weight 
To see if my diet 
exercise 
and life style
Were finally working 

And finally
Check out 
That all its  parts 
Were there
In their correct size places.


Details | I do not know? | |

We all know this one

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I,m in love with a girl 
That will never trade
Even if for a million dollars
But for a billion dollars
I would have to think about that one 
 
say yes if this make you smile today


Details | Limerick | |

I Love Lucy

<          once there was a redhead gal name lucy
            now skit comes to mind is real juicy
            job switching with the men
            conveyer belt takes a spin
            chocolate oh how did she loosey



Entry For Shani Fassbender's
Favorite Television Show / Episode Remembered


I Chose I Love Lucy
 

Written By Katherine Stella 7/1/11


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

It's Summer and I'm Twenty One Again

A sensory nerve catches a chord upon the wind
Home alone, I raise the volume ‘til I’m reeling
Fingers snapping, feet tapping, hips gyrating 
Just the right song to dance as boredom sets in

“California Girls”, blares on the radio I hear!
In an instant it’s summer; I am twenty one again, 
Not a care in the world not one reason to refrain
Slippers fly off feet as book is tossed in the rear

I have no care whether I am seen per chance
This song saturates me through and through
Caught up in the moment of its upbeat groove
I lose myself in youthful summers as I dance
~*~





Details | Limerick | |

My Lack Lustre Valentine

My Lack Lustre Valentine There was a man who asked me to be his valentine My heart went all of a flutter I wondered if he would be mine I said of course your valentine, I would love to be I’ve never heard from him again, does that only happen to me?


Details | Ode | |

The Dime

There was once upon a time, 
Unexpectedly, a very small dime. 
He did not do much of anything,
Apart from gazing. 
He just stared longingly at the sky, 
Counting the clouds that drifted by. 

Dear old Dime, not very bright,
He did not shine, not a ray of light. 
Dark and rusty, 
Old and dirty.
Everyone did not care, 
Though they could use him and buy a bear. 

They did not want to touch, 
This old thing of such. 
They did not want to feel. 
That sick disgusting bill. 
He was old, rusty and dim,
But he hated the way man treated him.


Details | Dodoitsu | |

Ant fires bite

Ants bite me tent baby sleeps front dad pours fuel rids runs down to camp fire dance ablaze tunnel fire ants dead ~ dad running with legs hairless baby in Safety flash fire fumes will travel fire ant's den taught camp Carol-ing
- by John beam - a lesson learned while camping be safe around ants and fires


Details | Free verse | |

Star Trek 3 and a half, The Wrath of Klingon Commander Kruge

STAR TREK REVIEW

Star Trek 2: Kirk has a grand battle with a villain from the original series.  Spock
dies saving the ship and his body is deposited on the Genesis Planet where an
experimental technology creates life from nothing

Star Trek 3: Kirk returns to the Genesis Planet to retrieve Spock's resurrected
body.  Commander Kruge, intercepts Enterprise wanting the power of the
Genesis Project for military purposes.  Kirk's son, a Genesis scientist, is Killed
on the Genesis Planet by Kruge.  After the destruction of Enterprise, Kirk kills
Kruge on the planet's surface and then takes over the Klingon ship

Star Trek 4: The returning mutineers are forced to go back
in time to find Humpback Whales to bring forward to the present time to save
Earth from a curious whale-loving alien race

Star Trek 5: The Enterprise is coerced to go on a mission to find "God", who
turns out to be just a minor deity pretending to be  'all that'

Star Trek Generations--Kirk dies in a desert region of some obscure planet



THE UNTOLD STORY........


Kirk never took into consideration that commander Kruge and Kirk's son, David,
were also killed on the life regenerating Genesis Planet.  That's when Commander
Kruge, resurrected, young, fit and as handsome as any strapping Klingon youth
could hope to be, came storming back for revenge


AND NOW.........

STAR TREK 3 AND A HALF, THE WRATH OF KLINGON COMMANDER KRUGE

Klingon Bird of Prey
Cloaked and humming at warp speed
Like Tom Cruise with a swollen head
Feeling the Genesis invulnerability
The Enterprise unsuspecting
Decloaking, salvos away
Can you imagine how priceless the look
Kirk seeing Christopher Lloyd's exploded face?

Haha, Kirk.  You criminal!!
I'll bet your eyes can't believe
You came back for you pointy-eared friend
Never once did you think about me
I killed your son once, Kirk
After Genesis, I killed him twice
Have you heard the Klingon expression
Killing three times isn't nice?

You thought that Khan was meddlesome
He's a pansy in my book
Because the best way to hurt you
That numbnuts overlooked
I'm going to let you live, Kirk
What Freudian karma you'll create!!!
And at the end of the day you'll know
There is only YOU to blame!!!

Have a whale of a time, good buddy!
Now I bid you adieu
Soon you are going to find out
That God is a bigger jerk than YOU!!!
You'll always be a victim Kirk
Creating your own grandiose plans
And you'll die like a red-shirt ensign
On some barren wasteland

MUWHAHAHA, MUWHAHAHA, MUWHAHAHA


Details | Free verse | |

I'll have you in Armageddon

I know you don't fancy my advances,
slim pickens don't describe my better chances.
Got a snowball's chance in hell,
but it fits me just as well,
I know we'll see Armageddon.
But, I've yet to learn my place,
I will try to win your gaze.
-I'll have you in Armageddon.

I know you picture me revoltin’,
and you despise my goin’ through the motions.
You threw out my best bouquet,
there's always next Valentines Day,
I know we'll see Armageddon.
'Cause I know that come what may,
I would do it anyways.
-I'll have you in Armageddon.

When the land drys up, and the damn goes bust,
we will see Armageddon.
But, no matter what the case,
come the day the end of days.
-I'll have you in Armageddon.

When the sky begins to fade, and becomes the Judgment day,
we will see Armageddon.
As he wash away the sin,
you'll see a smile upon my grin,
because the fire and the ash,
can't distract my one thought that,
when the Lord wants it all back,
I will take solace in this fact...

I'll be with you in Armageddon!


Details | Limerick | |

Chuck

There is a man we call him ChuckSluck
I must admit his poems don’t suck
He drives a corvette
Which put him in debt
But with the girls has given him luck


Details | Monorhyme | |

10 Things That Suck

ONE:
At three in the morning the Internet calls out.
Come to the computer; visit friends round about.
All of a sudden, soon pulling hair out,
The lights go off, a total blackout…shutout!

TWO:
Dressed for the country, a total knockout,
In a new white blouse, nothing worn-out,
Marshmallows and smores cooked at the cook out.
Chocolate on the blouse that will not wash out!

THREE:
Friends coming over for a big night out,
Children run to windows; keep a lookout.
Their car slips and slides while they are in route.
Festivities become a complete washout.

FOUR:
Going for a visit, the Interstate route.
A car passes by; guess what is thrown out.
Part of a burger with a Whopper handout,
Right in the face of the driver's shouting snout.

FIVE:
Rushing one morning to the punch-clock readout.
Arriving on time, that day had some doubt.
Picking up speed cautiously on the look out!
BLAM! The tire explodes, too late, a blowout.

SIX
The day's shopping spree had a strange payout.
Smoke from the windows escaping there out.
Eggs were left boiling when the cook went out.
Shells hit the ceiling and the floor; freak out!	

SEVEN:
Walking barefooted on a beautiful route.
(Garden shoes were old with the soles worn out.)
Soft-smelly brown embrace toes round about.
Run to the hose to wash the stinky stuff out.

EIGHT:
Planting a garden with success in doubt.
Hoping for sun and for a big payout.
Watering tomatoes in times of drought.
One night of insects, the crop is wiped out!

NINE:  
The birthday present would really standout.
Glow-in-the-dark wrapping, would be far-out.
Fluorescence to shine when the lights go out,
But I left it home and arrived without.

TEN:
A walk in the park to get a workout,
Flowers and children enjoyed throughout.
Birds chirp in trees, their favorite hideout.
A direct hit in the eye; bird fallout, wash out!  

©  October 8, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen


Details | Free verse | |

Heaven's Doorway

The most beautiful, the realm beyond imagination
the end of your mortality, the judging of your soul.
Today I stood in heaven's doorway to face God's verdict,
I've never imagined, I'm still young, too young.

I have so many dreams not yet fulfilled 
but there's a feeling, peace and comfort I can't resist
I see happiness without end, love without envy,
life without hatred, God eternity.

I look back, my family, friends and enemies I saw
I felt lonely and discontented without their forgiveness
suddenly I hear voices.."One more step and be with us".
Minutes and hours passed, I decided to take that step..

But..

then I woke..heard chattering, laughing, my siblings arrived,
So glorious, it's going to be fun...Oh If I take that step I will be dead by now!


Details | Limerick | |

RavinNVRmore

A friendly poet RavinNVRmore
Writes poetry that you can’t ignore
A Poe fan I wonder
A phrase she did plunder
From the gaunt and ominous bird of yore


Details | Light Poetry | |

Clumsy girl

Coming down the stairs
She trips and falls
She got an ear infection
She can’t take telephone calls

She steps over her dog
And hurt her knees
She sits in her garden
Got stuck by some bees

Sometimes she smile and says
She’s like a walking hospital
But still holds my life in her hands
And keep it safe through it all

Reaching to turn off there lamp
She tumbles off the bed
Looks in the mirror
Got a bump on her head

She makes a cup of coffee
Burn her lips it’s to hot
She peels an orange
Her fingers got a little cut

She’s like a walking disaster
She says I’m clumsy girl
But to me she’s the most
Perfect person in the world

Goes out side for the mails
She slips on the snow
She fell hard on the pavement
 She bruises and hurt my elbow

 She can’t go back in the house
By mistake she locks the door
Climb through the windows
Stepped on a nail on the floor

She burn the pot roast
The kitchen oven was smoking
Leave the water running
And the whole basement soaking

She goes to the restaurant
It just another disaster
She bounces into the waiter
He spills food on a costumer

She says she is so clumsy
And she sits quiet just gazing
So I just look in her eyes
And says hey babe you’re amazing

I feel so secure in her arms
 When she hugs me
In My clumsy girl arms
Is the safest place I want to be?


Details | Limerick | |

My Life is 2 B Blogless

My decision from today is no blogs
For sometimes their surrounded in fog
Some can peer through the mist
Whilst the others have missed
My thoughts, well their now down the bog





~*~ Bog in the UK is slang for toilet ~*~


Details | Blank verse | |

INTOXICATED

Piss and **** stains on a silk sheet
The fly above in all its glory
Taken in by the visual aesthetic 
And sweet fragrance
Becomes intoxicated 
With the beauty 
In such a short shite life


Details | Senryu | |

House of WEED

Aromas, green, sweet
Enter through doorway now 
S—sick horror can’t breathe 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Crock Around The Clock

<        Barack
             What Crock










No Pun Just Humor LOL



Entry For Brian Strand's
Two Lines Of Two Syllables 
Footle Contest  G.L. All


Details | Verse | |

All the Mad Hatters

Madness, the Hatter blinks. 
Madness, Oz's link. 
Repercussions of concussions.
Madness was Portnoy's Complaint*, 

Madness must reciprocate!

Hallucinations filter by....
Leary* winks at Dali's eye.
A house lands on Dorothy's thighs...
Chicken Little wanders by.

 
"Madness," Hitler's honcho’s sneer. 
Madness splices genes with fear. 
"Lobotomize!" becomes the cheer. 
Kellogg’s* enema's find waiting rears.

"Are you the ass? Or is it me? 
Have I ears and a nose? What do you see?"
"Hehawww," said Pinocchio's friends.
"Heeehaw," said Darwin* back again.

Round and round went Steven Hawkings*.
"Madness," said Lenore's raven* squawking.
"Madness," said Einstein* in a blink. 
"Reciprocate!," said the missing link.

* Art by Salvador Dali
* Portnoy's Complaint by Phillip Roth states
   if you know you are crazy than you must be sane.
* Timothy Leary explored LSD and other hallucinogenic drugs.
* Kellog [of cereal fame] proposed enema's as the cure to 
   all health ills, plus loads of sex!
* Darwin proposed man evolved from apes.
* Edgar Allen Poe was mad when he wrote The Raven.
* Einstein had aspergers syndrome a type of 
* Steven Hawkings is a wheelchair bound scientist who autism. 
   extrapolates on the edge of mathematical reality.


Details | Couplet | |

Foreign Cousins

We British love to stand in queues
We are known through out the world for it.

It must be something in our genes
We have tried all the other means.

Nobody teaches us what to do
We just line up when we see a queue.

The trouble starts with our foreign cousins; they look on us amused,
Then they walk to the front, ingnoring us and bypass all the queues.

Excuse me Sir or Madam, we say but you should be at the back,
‘What on earth for when I can walk in, you know what you can do with that!’

Fury starts to raise and feet begin to tap,
I am sorry Sir/Madam, but you must join at the back.

The door opens and we see just what we are queuing for,
It is the ladies services but then she grabs the door.

Our foreign cousin jumps in, what a nice neat trick
And locks the door behind her, it was ever so quick.

There is a murmur from the queue, 
I’d tell her off if I was you.

Don’t you worry I’ll do that when she comes back on out
I’ll stop the lady on exit, but then I here the shout.

You’ve missed another spot you dolt, just let the woman go.
Oh not again why was I so slow.

So to all our foreign cousins when, in England you arrive,
Please don’t forget to queue up here, if you want your holiday to survive.



Details | Rhyme | |

Hurry Home

My dear,
As I'm lying on your pillow here

I pray for God to watch over you each night
And help guide you through your daily plights

I can hear sounds of wispiring winds
And see through window's pane a mighty stars spin

Just knowing your battling on foreign soil
Over someone else's turmoils

Makes me just love you that much more
But please hurry home hun to finish your own dam choirs

                                          Love 
                                                Kat
                                                Meowwwww LOL



Tribute To Our Troops And Loved Ones
Hurry Home
God Bless U.S.A.

Also Entry For Brian Strand's 
My Dear Contest


Details | Senryu | |

she walked

she walked stiff legged balancing with difficulty... wearing stilettoes
Click on "About This Poem"


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Calling Me

<                                          good tarnations  .......  to this darn nation

                                            economic woes   .......  our money goes

                                                      all we are is .....   numbers

                                                      to good ole ....... Uncle Sam

                                             
                                             don't you just hate being called ....... sometimes







Entry For
John Freeman's Contest
Citizen Or Subject
G.L. All


Details | Narrative | |

The name game

I’d never have guessed the fuss behind names To the rich and famous, their claim to fame To some a status of great importance Some changed by deed poll, classed as a hindrance Mr, a title and blend of Master Mrs, feminine can one go faster Such fuss over names, fill me with laughter They’ll always be here, before and after.


Details | Senryu | |

scales

scales don't lie off with the clothes, bathe, shave.. augh!!
I know it isn't true to form!!!


Details | I do not know? | |

My Keyboard

   I hit the "delete" key on my keyboard,
but the fool key's not working.
Things are still going haywire
and now the goonies are smirking.
   I tried pressing "escape" key,
but crazy things still take place.
There are still events far too nutty
likewise with life's hectic pace.
   I tried pressing "control" next,
but the situations really got bad.
That guy chaos soon took over.
I grew more dejected and sad.
   My next choice was "back space",
but it too did little good.
I thought if that key didn't function,
then no other key would.
   Until I tried "ALt" and "enter"
then for the better things changed.
Life began to"shift" in my favor,
and everything rearranged.
   I've learned valuable lessons
at my keyborard today.
There is no escaping my keyboard
when my life goes astray.


Details | Rhyme | |

I want to be a Key West Icon

sitting here in a life i created
and I try not to get to sedated
cause I don't want to miss the call
some day I will sing on duval

and from my boat I sing my ballad
dog done it I just stepped in the salad
oh I wish I could sing in a bar
got a fish shaped like a star

if just money I had in hand
wouldn't have to spend dollars of sand
so here I sit on my pooper
giving birth to the goliath gooper

wishing there was a heart I could warm
if only I could preform
how proud I'd make my mother
if I could only be on the cover

not like the time I went to prison
I wanna see my face in the key west citizen

by Captain Mike Harris


Details | Rhyme | |

First Date Frights

A date can be exciting
When you meet up the first time
She waits for his arrival
And her heart beat starts to climb

He takes her to the cinema
Chivalry opens the door
'Ladies first' he speaks with his eyes
As her heart beat races more

He purchases two tickets
For the snacks she says, "I'll pay"
He looks at her as it's his treat
and says to her "no way"

"I chose a scary movie
To give us both a fright
If you get scared do not worry
Just don't be scared to hold me tight"

They both enter the screening room
She's thinking he's quite sweet
He asks and gives her the choice
To pick which ever seat

He lifts the middle arm rest
To give a tiny hug
And puts his arm around her
In order to get snug

A scene or two she cannot look
And hides her eyes against his chest
She settles down but stays right there
Against his warmth she starts to rest

The film is scaring everyone
And the audience is frantic
But they just both enjoy their company
As they're both a hopeless romantic.


Details | Burlesque | |

Sick!

I'm SICK!
The pain won't go away!
Could it be the chili dog for breakfast that I ate?

I'm SICK!
My stomach is aflame!
I feel it in my ovaries, I swear it is doomsday!

I'm SICK!
My head is a balloon!
Give me pills, give me shots, the end is coming soon!

I'm SICK!
I hear noise, what's that ruckus?
It hurts in places normally only my swimsuit touches!

I'm SICK!
Don't stand there, tapping your feet!
Call up House M.D., E.R., get Gray's Anatomy!!!

I'm SICK!
My time is drawing nigh!
Take me off the donor list, these organs here are MINE!

I'm SICK!
I'm too young for heaven!
Please, God, I can't die, I have kids and a wife, so don't take me, TAKE THEM!

I'm SICK!
Wait, what's that? Snow outside?
No school today? I Feel OK! Don't worry so much next time!


Details | Limerick | |

Falling Down- Trochee

Every time I take a step,
I end up falling down.
Legs flying throw the air,
Making me look like a clown.

Though if I jump up in the sky,
Holding a simple prayer in my mind.
I fly....
Only to land on my behind!:-)


Details | Free verse | |

MY CULTURE

MY CULTURE

Every thing that is around.
North to South and coast to coast,
My culture.

Weather, land and people,
Pan-o-ramas and political views,
My culture.

The ways of talk, 
The ways of walk,
The game and showmanship,
Work and play,
Night and day,
My culture.

The pros and teachers and striving reachers,
Artisans and preachers and other creatures,
Law people, tall people, all people,
My culture.

Fauna that's left,
Flora that's left,
Fauna and flora that's here,
My culture.

Relatives and friends,
Their thoughts and opinions,
People oblique to those views,
My culture.

Democracy,
Bureaucracy,
Hypocrisy and idiocy,
My culture.

We progress and mature
Through fault,
My culture.


Details | Clerihew | |

Quite A Tumble

The Apostle Paul
fell from a horse as Saul
the voice of Jesus overtook
the rest of the story can be found in "The Book"




_____________
    CONTEST


Details | Free verse | |

Life Goes On

No, I cannot remember the moment life began for me in my mother’s womb: You know, a 
brand new creation after leaving my father to stick to my mother for nine months, like would never happen again.  
 
Neither can I remember when I traveled the birth canal to enter the world that awaited my presence. Actually, they were the wrong hands that I entered: the very ones that 
disconnected me from my mother and slapped me on the bottoms to hear me say what was on my mind, just for that moment!  
 
I do believe most of us have been there. 
 
Well, here’s a bit more that we can agree on: 
 
From there, life goes on….


Details | Rhyme | |

Cub Foods { Minnesota }

<                               
                                       Cub Foods  ~  Minnesota



                                  oh that >>> cucumber thinks hes so ..... cute

                                  lying in a  bed of ~  lettuce in his birthday ... suit

                                  along comes >>> carrot and >>> celery to ~ squawk

                                  you may ..... talk .. the .. talk  but can you .. walk ... the ....... walk

                                  just then >>> banana's prices started to ^^^ rise

                                  oh that son of an ~ mango ...... he too was suprised 

                                  nuts ~  and ~ fruits ... was to fancy his ........ plate

                                  poor ole    >>>>>  potato was just to dam ............ late

                                 




Details | Free verse | |

Fib

Fib I Told him Lying game The lie expanded Now can not keep all those lies straight
Sponsor: David Williams Contest: Twenty/Twenty Poetry form: Fib Written by: Sara Kendrick 20 syllables


Details | Free verse | |

Bravery is Overrated

Don't be too brave,
It might save,
you,
from you.

I'll tell you a story...


One day I woke up,
in a pile of shit,
literally,
but I wasn't surprised
not even a bit.

Fortunately, my home was away few miles,
people I was passing by, heh,
I've never seen so much smiles,
around me,
They were wondering; what was I doing?
what happened to me?

Some of them avoided me,
some of them yelled,
some of them smelled!?
weird ha,
one of them got creative, and took a hose,
his laugh suddenly rose,
when he let the water overflow,
I was overrun,
It was a real show.

A guess they were happy,
that even their life wasn't so crappy.
They finally found,
somebody even more messed up than them,
a black lamb.
For some reason, that made me satisfied,
I had no choice anyway,
I had nowhere to hide.


But you remember I said,
I wasn't surprised,
I did not lied,
You see, yesterday I accidentally met,
a pack of thugs,
so conveniently instead of hugs,
one pulled a knife,
He made me afraid for my life,
so I got pissed, I went for a hit,
I missed, 
so they said to me,
"oh man, you're gonna wake up in a pile of ..."

That is it
I got home,
I took a shower,
and I went to sleep,
Eventful way,
to start and finish a day,
I would say.
Would you?


Details | I do not know? | |

What Are You Saying Inside?HMMMM!!

I started thinking about, what my mouth says out loud but what my mind is screaming
inside...I am sure somebody knows what I'm talking about....Bare with me here.LOL



So I'm in the grocery store, and I see this girl I used to know-she always thought she was
better than me..."Oh no, here she comes-"She says "Hey girl, Oh it's so good to see you!!
My mouth says" Wow, what a wonderful surprise!!..But inside my mind was screaming, "If you
don't get away from me right now. "I swear I
will beat you down..

So my ex husband, asks me "Is it okay if I bring my girlfriend with me to pick up our
daughter..My mouth says "oh sure- no problem".....But inside my mind is screaming."what??
"Hell no"-"You gonna bring her -here-"To my house- Aw Y'all both in for a treat".


So I'm at Coco's..The waiter comes over and says,"Are you ready to order? I say sure,
"I'll have the Big bite.."She says okay-your order will be right up..Later she comes
bringing me a plate with hardly nothing on it...She asked" Is everything okay..My mouth
says, "Uh huh...Thank you. But inside my mind was screaming, "CHEAT- TED" "I've been
CHEATED..Big Plate,Little bite!!

So this guy I met a few months back...gave him my number and he just barely called me.."Is
this Tyesha, he asked"..I said "Yes, who is this..Gregg remember me from the store..I'm
like oh yeah, its been awhile..So then he starts to say, "Girl I been thinking bout
you.."You been on my mind along time..Now both my mouth and my mind, started
screaming.."Oh really?" Is that right? "About 3 months now you been thinking bout me and
you never called until now?? "He keeps rambling on and I just say "Look I don't know
what kind of game you trying to play but I'm not interested..."If you really wanted to get
to know me , You would have called the same day I gave you my number.."Okay... so see
ya,"wouldn't want to be ya...and uh Lose my NUMBER!!!Jerk..


Details | I do not know? | |

The Art Of Wondering

The Art Of Wondering 

Another wonderful discovery.  I had it all the time.  But I didn’t know it was mine. Maybe 
it slipped my mind.  You can do it for a moment or for a day. 

Doing it to long, can cause harm.  I discovered it when I was young.  Sometimes I think 
it’s dumb. 

Wondering can be Wonderful.  But one must certainly be mindful, when enough 
wondering is truly enough. 

Now that I am older, I use caution.  I realize to much, could cause one to be mentally 
flakey, stagnated and hallucinated. In other words, no action when there was action?

I guess you are wondering, what in the world am I wondering about? Really? Stop 
wondering about it. I have…  Have a Wonderful Day…  

Dr. "G"


Details | Blank verse | |

PRAYER

THE PROBLEM WITH PRAYER
IS THAT GOD IS VERY BUSY
AND EITHER DOES NOT 
HAVE AN ANSWERING MACHINE 
OR RETURN CALLS
OR HAS HE JUST LEFT TOWN
LEAVING 
NO FORWARDING ADDRESS


Details | Couplet | |

Dog confession

I can hear beyond the human ears,
Long before danger has a chance to come near,
Waiting and watching over all I care for,
I am able to observe and see so much more,
I seem fairly simple and yearn for affection,
Yet, I don’t let this get in the way of ensuring my family’s protection,
Give me a bone and some extensive space,
I’ll be occupied for hours and let none of it go to waste,
Put me in a predicament where I must hunt or retreat,
And watch as my paws move to an undomesticated beat,
My ancestors are warriors and their blood runs through me,
I will be your best friend and defender until we reach eternity,
I will comfort you when you’re sad and the world has been unkind,
For a man’s soul mate at times is hard to find,
Please refrain from putting me in degrading dog shows,
For I was born to be part of the family not feed barbaric egos,
When man uses me to fight for their own personal gain,
It enrages my feelings and makes me insane,
I long for a mate and would like my own pups
So please don’t waste your money stitching me up
When summer is scorching and my coat is too thick
Water me down so I don’t get sick
And please do not dress me in tight silly clothes
It makes me feel violated, restricted and exposed.

By: Sabina Nicole
To all My Dogz


Details | Quatrain | |

Need Time Management

I started a class for kids recently.
It’s fulfilling, but takes up so much time.
I’ve work ‘til five, and class ‘til eight, roughly.
If I’m to sleep, nothing is left for rhyme.

If I choose poetry instead of dreams,
I’m unable to write verse the next day.
It’s as difficult a fix as it seems.
In the end, my mind’s forfeit to decay.


Details | Couplet | |

Things aren't Right

Things are not Right
Things aren’t right; I’m just not on the ball
No matter what I try; it doesn’t work at all
The words would flow, with ease I admit
But they now they seem to stick a little bit
They used to flow like rain down the roof
Now they stick together, and here is the proof
They would scatter and drop like the leaves in the fall
I’m having trouble getting any now at all.
I know it’s been a stressful time for me and for others
I have friends with woes never mind brothers
I feel for them all I cannot help it
But my words are drying, up and don’t seem to fit
The jigsaw of words seem to all be blue sky
Hard to fit together and I don’t know why
Well I have decided today I will not worry
As it is - I am in a bit of a hurry
Time to put the meat in the oven
Potatoes to peel and temperatures to govern
Mix up a cake some Yorkshire pudding too
Why don’t you come, I invite all of you.


Details | Ballad | |

What I Like In A Man

What I Like In A Man


I like my eggs over easy and my steak a little rare,
Tight Wrangler jeans and my kinky blonde hair,
I like holdin' hands and 'pitchin' woo'.

I like barrel racin' horses, My pick-up truck,
And all night lovin' ain't never too much!
But when it comes to what I like in a man...I like you!

I like the way you look at me
        I like the way you let me be me
                I like the way you hold me tight
                        And say you love me all through the night!

I like talkin' to my mama on the telephone,
She always knows when somethin's wrong,
And she never tries to tell me what to do.

I like the wind when it blows, walkin' naked in the rain,
Hearin' George Strait on the radio drives me insaine
But when it comes to what I like in a man...I like you!

~by deborah burch
9/2006


Details | Free verse | |

And the Voice Said-----

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

JS Lambert


Details | Light Poetry | |

Can I Mommy?Please Please Please(footle)

                           "Said NO"

                           "Now GO"


Details | Free verse | |

She's Too Fly

She don’t deny she’s so fly;
So hard to see; Gone in the blink of an eye;
But a bird of prey has to try, he can’t be shy...

Feathers slicked back, I’m feeling sly,
Feeling smooth; Thinking that I own the sky;
I spot her tracks, lick my lips,
The prey’s in sight, 
I lock onto those enterprising hips and make my move;
I lay down a line that I’m sure has never been uttered before...

She laughs and says, ‘You’re not my sort of guy!’

And why? Perhaps she doesn’t like my syfy;
She might think that my Vulcan salute is moot;
But if she would only let me do the mind meld,
I would show this lady a world she has never known before...

Of course, if we did the mind meld 
she would find out about my collection of GI Joes,
and then you know she’d let go.

It’s funny – It doesn’t matter that I am one of the pros who can deal with life’s throes,
That I never call the ladies hoes,
And that I know the right time to throw down a rose and a rhyme...
Because she is into a bling-blang ding-dong;
Who has his head stuck in a bong;
Half the truths he knows are wrong,
he learned them from a Kanye West song;

Yet she goes back to his nest to get undressed,
And together this couple, these oxymorons, they consummate;
All the while I sit alone at home, forced to think of Uhura, and I masturbate. 



Details | Couplet | |

Eat up

Honey, I baked a casserole for you
(My secret ingredient: a turd or two!)



Received 4th place in "any funny poem" contest




Details | I do not know? | |

KEEP THE MONSTER AWAY

              As the saying goes,an apple a day will keep the doctor away
                                   But what is a worm to do
                               I lie in a apple close to the core
               Ever so often i slither up to my brown bedroom door
                              I stick my head out to peek at the world
                              To my surprise,there's a monster out there
                                     Picking apples real fast
                                I held my breath,i could only gasp
                                     My heart was thumping
                  The apples were bumping in a basket down below
                   A monster reached out and grabbed my home
                    Opened his mouth,of long white teeth
                     Said ,''im hungry'', i need something to eat
                     My heart stood still,i couldn't breath
                     Thought this would be the end of me.
                                                                                                                                                    


Details | Senryu | |

old couple

old couple square off to fight.. humor rolls wins bout


Details | Limerick | |

Life is Like: Collection 1

Life is like a rollercoaster
Made up of many trains:
It has its ups
It has its downs,
And drives some folks insane.
(It also has a tendency
To liquefy the brains)

Life is like a rosebush
With many budding blossoms:
But please be warned,
This bush has thorns
That make the prize less awesome
(and if your buds get mangled
You've got to burn or toss 'em)

Life is like a hurricane
It brings rain but destroys:
Buildings boats and skyscrapers
And other human toys
(Along with human businesses
And greater human joys)

Life is like an apple
A treat down to the core:
But working for that shiny red
Is certainly a chore
(Especially for those folks
Who've never worked before)

Life is like a bowl of milk
When freshly poured, is sweet:
As it ages, it turns hard
To change to cheese to eat
(Though I wonder why some folks
Eat cheese that smell like feet)


Details | Rondeau Redouble | |

Soul Food

Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make

Chollah, chapatti  
Cinnamon bun
These global delights
make eating such fun

Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon; 
Or Danish roast ham

Add a fresh fruit salad,
 some sparkling wine
A candle, red roses and  
you’re ready to dine.



Details | Limerick | |

Lock Up

<                             once there was a girl locked in closet
                               dear old dad said well thats what you get
                               little did he come know
                               let out by little bro
                               but recaptured by moms fishing net 





Entry For Leighann Anderson's
Sea Of Words Contest
G.L. All                               


Details | Senryu | |

' Guess Who's Coming To Dinner - (1)...' 69th Senryu

‘ Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner – (1) … ’  69th  Senryu


    Just Ask Gomer Pyle ...
' Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner ? '
    Big,  “Surprise, Surprise !”


(Also, One Of My Past Favorite TV Shows)


Details | Chastushka | |

Clumsy

Please friends, try not to laugh,
I know, and I'm painfully aware;
it's never been on my own behalf
That I so often fall down the stair.


Details | Rhyme | |

Handy Man

As sweet and fluffy as cotton candy
Is my love who is so handy
With his repair kit to fix things dandy
It's so nice to have man about___eyecandy


Details | Limerick | |

My Lawyer the Idiot

Be warned, the law is an ass and I was a victim,

And so was my lawyer - his head up his rictum!

  I said "you're fired, I've had enough...

      You're full of piss and wind and huff

Who wouldn't know his coccyx from his dictum!"






Details | Rhyme | |

My Old Jalopy

There's no horn or radio
The heater and air is broke,
Paint faded with some chipping off
Been told it even has a bad choke.

Tire's are all worn even the donut tire
Around every corner they squeal,
Exhaust drags with some parts missing
There defently is no real car appeal.

The transmission slips in gear
No more is there get up and go,
I must leave early to get to work
For my old worn car goes so slow.

Wobble down to get to the store
Many people just stand and stare,
Others shake their heads and snicker
Wondering how i ever made it there.

There are no more payments on it
The insurance is cheap too,
I'll drive it until it fully quits
Then ill buy another one new.


Details | Rhyme | |

You Do Not Always Get What You Want

You Don’t Always Get What You Want



Two kids: A tall girl and a short boy, 
Sat at the table with frowns on their face.
Anxious to play with a brand new toy,
They pushed noodles from place to place.

Mother left the room to answer the door.
Jim, the boy said to Jill, the girl,
“Wonder what Auntie got at the store?”
“A dolly,” she said, “With a cute little curl!”

Jim started crying and kicking his chair
“Don’t say such a thing that can’t be true-
I don’t want a doll with golden hair!
My toy will be brown, or green, or blue.”

Soon, Mother returned with a sparkle in her eye.
She knew that the kids were waiting to know
What their favorite aunt had found to buy.
Jim got a Barbie, and Jill got a  yo-yo.


Contest Name: children in rhyme 
Sponsor: Francine Roberts 







Details | Limerick | |

Randy

There once was a poet named Randy
Who was known for being eye candy
A fisherman by trait
With words as his bait
Smoothe talking was his modus operandi


Details | Blank verse | |

a package from Amazon

getting old
sitting on my rocker
waiting for mail 

a package
from Amazon 
with my first fast elder walker with seat

they say that this fast elder walker with seat
could last 
up to ten years to the day

I do pray 
that this walker 
is not my last 

and that it and I 
don’t go too fast


Details | ABC | |

I'm as young as I feel

I'M AS YOUNG AS I FEEL
I'M NOT GETTING OLD. I'M AS YOUNG AS CAN BE.
THERE'S NOTHING AT ALL THE MATER WIT ME.
MY HAIR IS NOT GRAY. THERE'S A SILVERY SHINE.
MY BACK IS NOT BENT I'VE A FANCY SHAPED SPINE.
WHEN I BREATHE, I DO NOT HAVE A WHEEZE.
I HAVE FUNNY SHAPED LEGS, BUT NOT BANDY KNEES.
MY TEETH ARE NOT GONE BECAUSE THE WERE OLD.
I EAT TOO MANY SWEETS, OR SO I'VE BEEN TOLD.
THESE HEARING AIDS, NOT FOR DEAFNESS, I'M SURE.
THEY SAY THAT PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE.
I'M NOT GETTING SLOWER. I JUST TAKE MY TIME,
THE COLD DOESN'T GET ME. I ALWAYS FEEL FINE.
I DON'T HUFF AND PUFF MY WAY BACK FROM THE SHOP.
I DON'T GET TIRED AND DON'T HAVE TO STOP
YES, MY HAIR IS A LITTLE BIT LIGHT.
IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE SHAMPOO I WAS USING LAST NIGHT.
MY PULSE IS NOT DIM, IT'S JUST HARD TO FIND.
MY BONES ARE NOT BRITTLE, THERE ONE OF A KIND.
THESE ARE NOT WRINKLES, JUST MATURE SKIN.
I AM VERY WELL PROUD OF THE SHAPE I AM IN.
I'M AS FIT AS A FIDDLE, A SPRING CHICKEN STILL.
I AM NOWHERE NEAR OR OVER THE HILL.
THE GOLDEN AGE IS A LONG WAY AWAY.
UNTIL I AM READY, THATS WHERE IT CAN STAY.

BY SHIRLEY MOODY...


Details | Couplet | |

Linda Marie The Sweetheart Of P.S.

<                                            Sweetheart

                                          Where shall I start


                                              Linda  Marie

                                         You'll surely agree

                            
                                            Travels  around

                                           Soup    land   town


                                     North  South  East  and  West

                                 Your poetry she  will taste and test


                                        Never leaves smitten notes

                                    Or even some nasty blog quotes


                                  She packs you in her traveling suitcase

                                     You know the one dressed in lace

                              
                                          Wether stateside or abroad

                                          This woman is not a fraud


                                         Only kindness and senserity

                               If I was a guy even would ask her to marry me  { LOL }


                                          But for now will be forever friends

                                   Like A shining armor I will always's defend 


                                             This sweetheart of poetry soup

                            Who makes me not to want to fly from this coupe

                       

                                       
                                          
                


Details | Light Poetry | |

THE SUPERMOON

The astronomers, common people, kids are gazing
At the Super-moon that has appeared in the sky.
The super-moon is so big, so bright, so charming
That the bystanders cannot even blink their eye.

Next day, the burning furnace of the Sun will burn
The shimmering of Super-moon with its warmth.
What will change tomorrow? Will the waves turn?
Will fate of the poor change? Can death be birth?

The poor who sleep at rough footpaths of the city
Were sleeping starved in the chilly moonlit night.
They had nothing to do with the moon’s luminosity,
If the moon were bread they could eat it with delight.


Details | Couplet | |

A Pair of Two Line Poems

Jousting courses -
Knight classes available. 



If you rise above your station,
You'll never catch that subway train.


Details | Rhyme | |

MSN Messenger

I'm not an anti-social person, I insist.
See, I have 184 people on my contact list.
Granted only 22 of them are online
And only 3 on mobile, which is really fine.

Let's just say I enjoy the company.
And honestly 22 people is plenty.
Even though I only talk to one or two,
Besides, I haven’t got much else to do.

The thing that I enjoy the most
Is the concept of talking coast to coast.
I like the little box in a window so blue.
And the thought that someone else has one too.

I'm not an anti-social person. I'm just a teen
Sitting alone in a room. Facing a bright screen
As the hours of my life slowly tick away.
Before you know it, I've been here all day.

But I like the silence. It makes me strong.
Sometimes I break it, and play a song.
I could surf the web, find something I like.
If not I could just play Counter-Strike.

But then I stop and begin to think.
I've been sitting here all day, no food or drink.
And pretty soon I start to stink.
I don’t think I can even blink.

What if I was to go outside?
Would I succeed, if I tried?
But the web is so awesome! I laughed and I cried.
Sitting very lonely, as the planets collide.

Now I feel distraught,
Obnoxious to the clocks.
Am I really anti-social? Am I starting to rot?
Behind these bolts and locks
Lies the answer I have sought.
I think hard, holding on to my socks.
But before I could finish my thought...
Ding!
You have 1 new message in your e-mail inbox.


Details | Rhyme | |

Pen is Enlargement

Ok girls there is something I need to know Is pen-is enlargement the new way to go? I am confused and bewildered I must admit By all the emails offering me it. Am I missing something, well I obviously am But shouldn’t these emails be directed at a man Now last time I looked I did not posses one of these Well not on my person but my husband is pleased. Am I missing something-is this a new fashion? Do I have to have one to increase my passion? Not only one but I can get it enlarged Should I order one now and then get it charged? What would I do with the enlargement I buy? I really am puzzled even though I do try I am even offered ways to spread out the payment And is there a man attached to this aggrandisement? I am not sure girls is this something for me Do you get these emails offered while drinking your tea? I would like some advice from those in the know But keep it clean please if it’s the new way to go.
Have to seperate pen-is for the censor A bit of light hearted fun but I get them all the time….


Details | Footle | |

Somewhat Repetitive Fickle Foolish Footles

Overweight law enforcement official:
Whopper
Copper

Nickname for a rather pudgy Charles Dickens Character:
Whopper
Copper

Overweight Janitor:
Whopper 
Mopper

Big fat lie:
Whopper
Whopper

Lockjaw:
Chopper
Stopper

Highway Patrolman pulling over a Hell’s Angel:
Chopper
Stopper
 
Louis XVI banned the Guillotine and thus was nicknamed the Great and Royal:
Chopper
Stopper

Church secretary to parishioners in a confession line:  ‘Lunch break! In which time you certainly may NOT’:
Bother
Father

Shocking and irreverent response to the priest's query from an obviously irritated and frustrated parishioner who had the misfortune of being the last in line: ‘Do I wanna make a what?? Hell’s Bells!...Don’t even’:
Bother,
Father!

Spaced-out church officer:
Freekin’ 
Deacon

Grouchy, grumbling and humiliated congregation member to the officer who dropped the communion tray on her lap:
Freekin’
Deacon!

Elderly church officer forced to depend upon Depends:
Leekin’
Deacon

Postscript: Sadly, the last three verses refer to the unfortunate soul mentioned above. The pastor was forced to accept the deacon's resignation for drug abuse, improper behavior and dress code violations because he insisted on constantly tugging and yanking his suit coat down in a futile attempt to conceal his rather puffy and swollen hindquarters which of course made his pants far too short, exposing his sagging socks and rather pale, boney calves...On a brighter note, he was hired by FEMA to council and assist stranded flood victims after the water had receded to a safe wading level...



Details | Light Poetry | |

My Morning

I've had a busy morning, it didn't go to plan
I had to go to hospital to see a little man.
The man was sick and therefore away
He could have told me anyway.

I went to town to open an on - line account
My identity I took and the required amount.
‘I'm sorry you are here an appointment you need’
Said the smug looking cashier sat there wearing tweeds.
"Forget it "said I it’s supposed to be on line
I cant' keep coming here all of the time.

I went to a bank to pay in some cheques, 
The queue of fifteen people made me regret,
I turned tail and ran, more jobs had I to do,
I went back outside where the sky had turned blue.

I walked along looking at the beautiful leaf fall
I ended on my backside a part of it all.
My crutch hit a leaf ,then slipped with such speed 
The fall of myself, no one could impede....

I went to the electric shop to return a mini hoover,
‘Would you like the same again’ asked the really good mover.
He slipped round the counter as fast as can be,
And wiggled him bum at the girl stood next to me.

I wouldn’t have minded to much I suppose 
If he wiggled it at me, but oh what a pose.
I have leaves on my bum my hair is a all flat
I have stains on my hands from the floor where I was sat.

He took pity on me when he returned 
If you’d like your money back, that can be confirmed.
Oh yes that is nice, I would like that a lot
So the morning picked up cos the money I got.


Details | Couplet | |

Memory Or Lack Of

                  ~ Memory Or lack Of
Memories are so important, but I can’t remember mine,
I knew I had some once, once upon a time.

I go up the stairs and then I turn back, 
Was I going up or down, now I’ve lost track.
.
Where did I put it, that thing, you know what,
Oh blast I’ve forgotten what it was, or was not.
.
I look in the fridge and find my teapot,
So where is the milk, oh I know I’ve forgot.

Do I know you stood there, knocking at my door,
Oh yes you’re my son, I knew I’d seen you before,

Why didn’t you walk in, why do you knock?
Oh I locked up son, I’m sorry I forgot.

What are you doing there six foot three tall,
This morning you left you were really quite small.

Is it you or is it me my memory is shot
Oh now I remember it’s me, I forgot.


Details | Free verse | |

Xanax Sunshine

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

JS Lambert


Details | Haiku | |

patience #30 angel card

not a natural 
has to be thought out and planned
who has time for that!?!?!?


Details | Rhyme | |

Zippedy Do Dah

 <                                      Zippedy  Do  Dah  

                                         Zippedy     Day  

 
                                       Open    Hearts    Souls

                                       Sing    Loud     Today


                                           Zippedy   Do   Dah  

                                           Zippedy          Day  


                                    Thank    You    Sweet     Lord

                                     Bountys    Come   My    Way


                                           Zippedy  Do  Dah   

                                           Zippedy        Day   


                                          Smell   Frangrence

                                   From    Flowers    Picked   Today


                                           Zippedy  Do   Dah   

                                           Zippedy      Day   


                                        Hugs      And      Kisses

                                To     Children    Comes   My   Way


                                           Zippedy   Do   Dah   

                                           Zippedy          Day   


                                           Join    With    Me

                                          Sunshine's    Hooray   



                                           Zippedy  Do   Dah   

                                           Zippedy         Day   


                                          Keep    This   Tune 

                                          Going     All       Day



                                          Zippedy   Do    Dah   

                                          Zippedy           Day   



                                  Not    Sure    Rythem    Rhyme

                                 Will   March    Same    Way ...   Hey  !


                                          Zippedy   Do    Dah   

                                          Zippedy          Day   


                                                 Been    Fun  

                                            Must   Be   On    Way



                                             Zippedy   Do  Dah   

                                             Zippedy         Day   


                                  Thanks  Dane  Ann  Smith  Johnson

                                 For  Contest   To   Join   And   ...   Play






Details | Sonnet | |

USA Marriage Justice Today

Oh, my sweet girl, come and shack up, with me.
We shall live on welfare and space out to see.
How many food stamp cards, we can arrange,
We shall visit for meds and beg for change.
Upon the riverbanks, we shall catch a cold.
Then we shall collect our oxy-cotton gold.
I shall gather clothes from good wills chest.
You prepare to go visit relatives in the west.
My sweet girl I shall give you no gold.
However, get you, giving us babies to hold.
A bed of daisies, I shall have waiting for you.
For freshening up our pet hound, old blue.
Our cousin Joe has a house that is so big.
We shall move in, us all, even with our pig.


Details | Couplet | |

The Computer

Men would rave,
we have invented a machine,
to be our slave.

Sorting, processing and retrieving,
with inventory and payroll functions,
all tasks beyond believing.

In the end, we have to say,  
multiplying work for the master,
the computer has had it's way.


Details | I do not know? | |

EVERY MORNING

Every morning I got to work early so I can see surely. When I get there she is not there 
so I set and wait but surely is late. When she got there she said to me may I help you. 
YES I just wanted to ask you on a date does that sound great. No I will not take you on 
a date. I set and wait for you and you come in late and then turn me down for a date. 
Just wait you will be begging for that date. Now every morning I go to work late so I 
can see Kate she is great we just started to date. Today surely came over to talk to me 
may I help you. I just want to ask you on that date you had your chance now it is too 
late. I am now with Kate she is really great I think she will be my soul mate.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Real Reason

I was so above you
And it was very clear to see
But I came to give you my heart
sacrificing all I had 
Just for shot at love
we started off so strong 
I actually thought it was you were worth it
We had a lot in common 
So it made easy for us to talk
We were going so good
But caught in the act 
You said you and I did not make sense
But I must admit I was glad It was over

Now the real reason I gained back my life
And You just lost best thing in your life
Thus why I smiled when I caught you kissing that other boy


Details | Blank verse | |

I AM ON A TREADMILL

I’M ON A TREADMILL 
HOLDING ON TIGHT 

RIGHT FOOT IN FRONT OF LEFT
LEFT FOOT IN FRONT OF RIGHT 
BUT I DON’T SEEM TO BE GOING ANYWHERE 

I MUST KEEP MOVING 
HOWEVER
OR I WILL TRIP 
AND FALL

THE SPEED MAY VARY
THE SURROUNDINGS MAY CHANGE

RIGHT FOOT IN FRONT OF LEFT
LEFT FOOT IN FRONT OF RIGHT 
BUT I DON’T SEEM TO BE GOING ANYWHERE 

I MUST KEEP MOVING 
HOWEVER
OR I WILL TRIP 
AND FALL

I PUSH THE STOP BUTTON
AND RETURN THE NEXT DAY 

RIGHT FOOT IN FRONT OF LEFT
LEFT FOOT IN FRONT OF RIGHT 
BUT I DON’T SEEM TO BE GOING ANYWHERE 

I MUST KEEP MOVING 
HOWEVER
UNTIL I  FALL


Details | Rhyme | |

My Family and Me

It's amazing how quick things can change.
First your running with the kings, and then you're knocked out of range.
It's strange. I used to worry and stress over friends.
Now I've grown to be a man. Maybe know a few of them.
All that time I could of studied. Did better in school.
Got a job and made it big. Maybe now I'd be cool.
Who's the fool? Now who's the bull? I know that's not me on the top.
Life is always making turns weather you like it or not.
The past will always be the past. My glory days may seem gone.
But, now its time to start a new.The stories keep coming on.
I've got a new girl. She means the world to me.
She keeps me warm at night, my best friend, my new dream.
Since my car accident, still got a limp on one side.
Still working with my memory, still need a friend who can drive.
I love to Karaoke. I get noticed in bars.
My mom's always there to catch me. Tom's working with my mom's cars.
My sister's in the Army, my niece is a big part of my life,
Friend Zach keeps assholes off me, and God is my wife.
AJ's always there to help, Brian is my LOST bud,
Mary's out of school, Lil cousin, Hunter's a stud.
Grandpa still is my idol, JT is still the music man .
The Adam's still can party. Chris, living good on the sand.
I may only use one hand, but I plan to be the best.
At all I do in life, cause there's not that much time left.
The blood test that I took says Landon is mine.
I hope this all works out fine in time and help to make my son's life shine.
JC who's down in Georiga, my heart is screaming for you.
I hope that you recover well. It can't be worse then what I went through.
Uncle Jimmy where you at? Where's Matt, Corie, and Pete?
I know you all are doing good. Serviolo's are a hard team to beat.
How's the rest of the family? I love and miss you all!
I hope you all are standing tall and I pray we never fall.
These last words that I say, I say only to you.
We've got the best family in the world and you know I LOVE YOU!


Details | Limerick | |

Next Thing to Believe

Why do we believe the hype they spread?
Next year they say we all might be dead
This spring all will shut down
Does this bring you a frown?
Rise of gasoline with rise of bread

We seem to believe whatever they say
Why are their words now gospel today
We are losing freedoms
More or less, like kingdoms
We left one of these, for freedom to pray

Let’s see if a rumor I start unfurls
Our new cars will be run by squirrels
Fueled by nuts and acorns
But never peppercorns
Because if you do, the car just twirls


Written for

Sponsor john freeman 
Contest Name Slapstick Limerick Contest 


Details | Blank verse | |

SO DONE

THE DAY IS LONG 
I HAVE TOO MUCH TIME 
ON MY HANDS
I GO FROM THIS TO THAT 
AND THIS TO THAT 

LIFE IS SO SHORT 
I DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME
I HAVE TOO MANY THINGS
TO DO AND A LIST TOO LONG
TO GET IT ALL DONE 

SO MUCH SO LITTLE TIME 
SO MUCH SO LITTLE TO DO
SO MUCH
SO LITTLE
SO DONE


Details | Limerick | |

Jurassic James

My name is Jurassic James
An ageing Dinosaur it seems
Middle aged I have hit
Quite frankly it's shit
Take me back to twenty to dream

Wonderful, I'm now back to that time
Playing pool and every things fine
I'm out with the boys
Getting pissed and enjoying
Meeting girls and being so entwined

Then there was the night one met
The right one my future was set
Now married with kids
My pool days now rid
Decisions made, now no regrets

Now back to the future we go
A dark horse now starts to show
What's fixed is now broken
Jurassic James has now spoken
I'm now free and single you know









http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me-3.php


Details | Rhyme | |

THE DOLLAR FORTY CHIPS

THE DOLLAR FORTY CHIPS 
 
While travelling up to Darwin in the Northern Territory many years back, we pulled 
into Winton in the far north-west of Queensland for a pit stop and refreshments.  
My wife was taken back at the price of some of the items which led to the 
following reflections.

"I'll have some crispy chips please sir," 
The Missus asked the man. 
"Those atomic tomato ones, 
The good old Samboy bran'. 

I guess the bright red packaging 
Sure caught the Missus eye. 
The dollar forty price tag though, 
Near made the Missus cry. 

"How much again?" she asked the man, 
Still reeling from the shock; 
"A dollar forty," old Pete said, 
And scratched his balding block. 

"They're half the price back home you know, 
How come they're so darn dear? 
The flavours not atomic mate, 
Your price is though I fear." 

"I bet that you're a tourist dear," 
Suggested Winton Pete. 
"You're sure to be a coastal kid 
 Who hates the flies and heat." 

"Most spuds down there are local grown, 
Which makes your chips so cheap, 
But if you take a squiz outside, 
You'll see there's only sheep." 

"You try and dig the ground out there, 
It's more than just a task, 
So if you want them chips my dear, 
One forty's what I ask." 


Details | Rhyme | |

Growing Older

They say you start to look like your pets
But I think it is the same for humans too.
After years together your partner, starts to looks like you.
When we first wed we were tall and slim,
I never thought one day that I would like him.

He needed to shave only once a week
His face only covered in fluff
It was so romantic; I would shave him, and do other stuff.
But as the years have passed, years of shaving him lovingly
We never thought we’d get to the stage,
When he was gonna shave me.

Our slim builds have disappeared; we don’t know where they went
We turned round one day and instead of new slim tops, 
                                                        I had to buy new tents.
We used to share a single bed then moved from double to king
And now there is still no room, for the proverbial cat to swing.

He loves me to tickle him under the arm, it makes him go to sleep
Now I find my arm can’t stretch that far, it nearly makes me weep.
Photographs tell a tale that we never thought we would hear
We turned around one day to find that couple had disappeared.
Two gorgeous tall, slim, blond, statuesque beings, a god and a goddess
And now we seem much shorter and rounder, in fact a bit of a mess

But one thing is still the same even after all these years
We still have the love we had, and we still can share the same tears
We can laugh at the same jokes and cry at the same sad plays
We share our hurts and woes, and yes still share a loving gaze.
And at the end of each day and when the night has come
We know we kept the vows that we took,
 And we truly have become one.


Details | Rhyme | |

New Old Shoes

Spinning, twirling, jumping, hopping
Sliding,  bouncing there’s no stopping
Crank the music, blast those speakers
Gonna break in my brand new sneakers

Nike and Adidas are both the same
A perfect fit, or so they claim
Tried them on and yelled in pain
Used the lords name in vain

Nothing like a new pair of shoes
To give your feet the blister blues
Pinching and squeezing your toes so tight
Your dawgs will scream with all their might

Now I walk like such a geek
People laugh and call me freak
Let me tell you what ain’t cool
Hobbling ‘round like a drunken fool

Wouldn’t it be so very sweet
To buy new shoes that fit your feet
A hundred bucks, and for what?
Shoes that wrecked my normal strut

Heed my warning and take my advice
Great shoes come at a minimal price
The salvation army is where you begin
They have plenty of shoes already broke in

But if you are embarrassed by stores of thrift
My secret to you I give as a gift
You’ll never be labeled a trailer trash hag
If you carry your items in a Nordstroms bag


Details | Blank verse | |

I am very happy having found it

I had something 
Somewhere 
Some time ago
And cannot seem to find it
Or remember what it was
I looked and looked
And found something else
That I did not remember 
Putting somewhere 
Some time ago
Or even having had

I am very happy
Having found it


Details | Free verse | |

The Eternal Infernos of Pain

Front and Center!
Those Gates adorned with pearls in Heaven.
White angels soaring. 

If by chance, 
Ordered to enter;
Through St. Peter's Permission; 
I demand from you chancellor; 
A swift insanity plea, submission. 
For this troubled soul is plagued, 
By vast displays of wicked ways. 

None lost. 
Courtesy of meticulous examination. 
Love lost. 

Diligence pending Investigation. 
Key Evidence, perpetually documented 
In Sin's ominous catalog. 
Rebuke my Judge! 
For multitudes of shortcomings, 
He failed to ascertain. 

Moreover, present was He, 
When Satan drafted me. 
First round,
Pick three.
His Fantasy League...
"The Eternal Infernos of Pain" 

JS Lambert



Details | Haiku | |

Sweet Love O' Mine

I bought a burger yesterday
It was very dry like the seagull bay
I pilled a lot of ketchup on it
and still dry it remained
I was very dissappointed
as i look at the dry damned thing
I ran to the toilet
and let out a HUGE
BLEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH
As chunks of the dry burger fell out of my pie hole
Landing into the toilet
Making dookie plop noizes
I'm done


Details | Light Poetry | |

Nancy and Lyles Wedding

Nancy and Lyle are friends of mine. They had both been widowed. When they married it was very obvious that they were meant to be together. They had a mashed potato bar at their reception. I thought that it was a fun idea.

I went to a party the other night and it was quite nice and well above par, And my favorite thing for the guests to enjoy was a mashed potato bar. Into a champagne glass a generous scoop of mashed potatoes was placed, Then I could add any topping to it that I wanted and season it to my taste. So I took some green onions and some bacon bits and then just to please, I added a dollop of sour cream and a scoop of melted nacho cheese. To tell you how great it tasted would be to put the horse behind the cart, I have to explain that my mashed potato creation was truly a work of art. Those who were seated by me were nearly overcome by their temptation, When I ate my mashed spud Mona Lisa the taste filled me with elation. I went to get a second helping and duplicate the flavor and the joy, But when I got to the serving table what I saw only served to annoy. The ingredients that were set out had been completely changed, Now I had to deal with the fact that everything had been rearranged. And so to this mashed masterpiece I added pork that was wrapped in salty bacon, I covered the whole thing in savory gravy it was another masterpiece in the makin’. It seems I’ve threaded the needle and the odds for a second time I’ve topped, The shifting choices of life have slowed me down but have not left me stopped. Can you imagine the luck that I must have, to find something that was so nice, Only to have my life get rearranged but then to find something that nice twice? So raise a champagne tater glass to Nancy and Lyle and wish for them the best, And hope that the gravy of their lives remains lump free for they are truly blest.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Circle of Life

Outside the circle of life I sit,
not knowing exactly where in it I fit...

I watch the circle go round and round,
not missing a beat sound for sound...

I watch it's flow and it's vibe,
it's humpping and bumpping it's so alive...

I wish I weren't afraid to go inside,
to brave the world and take that ride...

but since I am I'll just take my stand
right over here in passer-by land...


Details | Rhyme | |

A Day at the Flea Market


Dealers arriving
Merchandise appearing.
Bargain hunters searching
Treasures departing.
Dealers exiting
with pockets a-jingling.


Details | Free verse | |

The Walk In

No, Dear, I was not hurting Mommy.

Well, she may have been making hurt noises but she was okay.

Yes, yes, it was kind of like wrestling … only different.

No, you are right; wrestlers do usually wear some kind of outfit.

Well, I guess in this kind of wrestling, they are not pinned after three seconds on their back … although Mommy may say it feels like only three seconds.

Never mind that.

Yes, sometimes Mommy wins and pins me.

I guess I do make those noises when I am loosing, although I never mind loosing.

Yes, I know Mommy and Daddy are always telling you to keep your hands to yourself, but it’s okay for Mommies and Daddies to do that.

NO!  NO!  You can’t wrestle with your friends.  Not yet, anyway.

Sometimes we wrestle in other places beside our bed.

No, not with other people … at least, I hope not!  Why?  Have you ever seen Mommy wrestling with someone else?

Ummm, wouldn’t you like to watch some TV or something?

I know you just want to know, but, um Daddy is kind of busy right now.

Doing what?  Well, something important I’m sure.

Honey!  Can you come in here and talk to your daughter?


Details | Rhyme | |

The Qualities That a True Friend Must Have

What are the qualities that a friend should
have – that which would make a true friend so true?
A friend is one whom you like to be with
while a true friend insists on being with you.

A friend likes you when you have so much in
common. True friends like you who for who you are.
True friends make you feel as though they are at
all times near, although they are very far.

A true friend is one whom you can always
talk to, even at night when it is late -
when loved ones are asleep, a true friend is
always there to hear what you have to say.

Friends like to share, but a true friend always
gives you – not what you want, but what you need.
The feelings you hide, as well as your thoughts,
and your dreams,  a true friend can always read.

A friend may forgive you or they may not
forgive, for something wrong you’ve done to them.
A true friend forgives even when you don’t
ask. True friends forgive - again and again.

Friends are close when you are close to them. A
true friend wants your friendship to be closer.
A true friend does what is best for you, and
hates that you would end up with the losers.

A true friend teaches you lessons to help
you grow – lessons that are hard and easy.
A true friend is always there - having a
true friend can never make you feel lonely.

Friends may sometimes make mistakes, but a true
friend is always careful not to hurt you.
A true friend is a guide and a teacher.
A true friend knows everything you go through.

The true friend I mention is our God,
who kept you company before you were born.
The friendship of God, if you truly keep
and cherish, you will never feel forlorn.

The true friend we all need is God (Allah) –
the One who guides and can teach us lessons,
the One who hears our calls and understands,
the One always near – in every season –

Allah, as a Friend, never judges us
by the way we look and how we appear.
Allah, as a Guide, if we ask Him for
guidance, He guides us and makes our paths clear.

Allah is with us – each day and each night –
He is always there when all are asleep.
Allah always listens when others don’t.
He gives you comfort when He sees you weep.

Fortunate are those who have Allah as
a Friend. Friendship with God is friendship true.
May Allah bless me with His Friendship and
May Allah’s Friendship be shared with you too.

Ameen.

Miriam / Mariam Mababaya


Details | Rhyme | |

Thursday's Advice To My Friend

Get some rest my friend,
Like me.
Breeze through tomorrow,
Then, it's the weekend baby!


wrote 1-21-10
in a text to my friend, Tralanya


Details | Blank verse | |

Devil's Drive-Thru

My emotions are disconnected and broken up…
Kind of like all this stuff in the back of my truck…
I drive aimlessly to the next distress…
Trying not to spill my coffee and make a mess…
I finally come to a fork in the road…
One sign says: to dreams, and it’s paved in gold…
The other sign says: this way to hell…
I’m indecisive, as if you couldn’t tell…
So making the wrong choice, as I usually do,
I stop for a bite at the Devil’s drive-thru…


Details | Free verse | |

Quodliberterianism

Quodlibertarians excel at obacerating
And are skilled in the art of obganiating
They drive people nuts,
No ifs, ands or buts,
Even their perscrutation seems nothing less than excoriating!

TRANSLATION:

The Art of Arguing About Anything

People who argue about any subject excel at contradicting
And are skilled in the art of irritating people with constant reiteration
They drive people nuts,
No ifs, ands or buts,
Even their thorough search and diligent inquiry seem nothing less than condemning!
 


Details | Rhyme | |

All Things Green

My memories of my childhood days are few and far between,
My lucky number seven and my favourite colour green.
Banality of daily life was there for mice and men,
But nothing really matters much when at the age of ten.

I loved to ride my bicycle, go swimming in the lake.
I went to birthday parties, eating jelly, ice cream, cake.
Remember loving sausages and hating cold green beans,
But food was swapped for dating  by the time I hit my teens.

By adulthood my life was marred by being mediocre,
I’d spend my time in pubs and bars, drink beer, play nine card poker.
My parents feared my devilry would not be just a blip,
My father came from Ireland so proposed I took a trip.

He said the memories that I’d have would stay with me forever.
I went. I never thought it, but my dad was very clever.
Irish whisky, Guinness, Smithwick’s, Bailey’s Irish Cream,
They tasted so divine I drank myself into a dream.
   
My dad no longer talks to me which isn’t very nice,
I listened to him after all and heeded his advice.
The memories that I’m laying down will always make me smile.
The legacy he left for me. The dear old Emerald Isle.                                                                             


Details | I do not know? | |

More than weather, can be frightful or Unseasonal Christmas

Used to be the weather was frightful
People covered themselves from head to toe
Now, despite the fact it’s Christmas season
I see more sand, than I see snow
The temperatures keep on elevating
To the moon, they just seem to rise
Oh, where is the Christmas of yesterday
The rosy cheeks, windows fogged with ice

It’s just too warm now for Christmas
Too hot to shop, too hot to run around
Santa’s working at the pole in a speedo
That’s nothing, we wanna see come to town

Frosty, it seems we’re not gonna see him
Heat miser, now, has gotten his day
Can’t ole Jack Frost do something about this
And chase the warm weather away
No need to chop wood set for burning
The heated air replaces that in the hearth
I hope it gets cold and very soon, too
Because Christmas puts warmth in everyone’s heart

It’s just too warm now for Christmas
Too hot to shop, too hot to run around
Santa’s working at the pole in a speedo
That’s nothing, we wanna see come to town

Oh, when Christmas day finally gets here
Right now, I’ll tell ya, all I wanna see
Are people with scarves and gloves on their hands
And snow bringing life to all barren trees
I want the temps to chill me right to the bone
That’s when I’ll know it’s Christmas time
Who wants to look up and see a sleigh
With a fat man in a speedo, flying around

It’s just too warm now for Christmas
Too hot to shop, too hot to run around
Santa’s working at the pole in a speedo
That’s nothing, we wanna see come to town


Details | Light Poetry | |

Drinking from the Baby Bottle

Holidays come and holidays go, but the grocery store is a war zone.
You got to get there fast… or Honey you’re just plain out of luck!
My diabetic hubby drinks caffeine free diet soda and what luck…
You know the ones he takes to work... Only the little bottles are left…
I knew I was truly sunk when the 3rd store was just the same.
So as lunch came around, my manly man’s manly sized lunch came out.
But everyone became quiet and laughed as the baby sized bottle came out.
Everyone was laughing as my hubby drank it down.
Then he held it up and said “In your diapers” as everyone laughed around.
And to everyone’s surprise he pulled another one out from his lunch…
This time there was applause as he drank that sucker down.
Today was his day to entertain.
Tomorrow it’ll be someone else’s to claim.
Thank goodness his sense of humor… is worthy of acclaim…



Details | Light Poetry | |

Always

Walking with you all the way, because I missed you night and day. 
Holding your hand to help guide the way, in the light of the moon? 
Sunshine brightening our lives whispering ways, hold my hand, 
I want to be with you, up lift your soul in oh so many crazes. 
Hold you in my arms and remembering when our lives took us, 
Each to two separate places, what am I to do now? Eyes so clear, 
Pull your likeness... 
Closer to me now and cling to you at closed in spaces? 
Whisper in your ear that I have no grievances to spare, so come to me, 
Come to me now, I want you to be here, love me now, I have a life to share. 
The effects are rollin over our bodies, like it can’t decide, 
Caught in between here and taking you out to be the ride of your life. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Different Kind Of Host

Different Kind Of Host/English

There is a spider on the Cosmos
He is a different kind of host
If you love sweet rich nectar
Soon you will be in his throat


Chinea'l E'agsu'la O'sta/ Irish Gaelic

In' spider ar an Cosmos
Ta' se' ina chinea'l e'agsu'la o'sta
Ma' ta' tu' gra' neachtar milis
Is gearr go mbeidh tu' in mo scornaigh

(If this is not correct, I used a
translater from English to Gaelic.)


Details | Rhyme | |

Sex Sells

You asked,
“Daddy, where’d I come from?” in your cute and charming way
The time was early morning ‘bout 6 bells
Confused you looked at my reply I guess you had to bat an eye
When I turned and said, “Because my dear, sex sells”.

You sat there for a moment thinking long and hard
Until a light bulb lit up overhead 
“Did you purchase mommy?”
“No” I laughed out loud and with that look upon your face
I knew an explanation further need be said

You see, about eight years ago while we were up real late
You’re mommy said “Let’s watch the Late, Late Show”
There was music from a band and a brunette finely tanned
And a skit about a giant talking taco
When the guests were interviewed the conversation turned quite lewd
And your mother said “Why don’t you get some beers”
I put on my coat and hat, grabbed my keys, hurdled the cat
and headed to the liquor store most near

Upon my arrival, I headed for the cooler
Looking for your mommy’s favorite brand
Along the way I got distracted (this part will have to be redacted)
But the blond really turned your daddy on
Then to make the matters worse I bumped into a nurse 
Who was wearing a provocative bikini
I covered up my eyes and much to my surprise
It was a cardboard ad for some no name brand martini

Now don’t misunderstand, I’m an ordinary man
And I’m as loyal as loyal can be
But just that simple trip, like the cat with her catnip
Made me really, really, really frisky 
Which just to prove my point, don’t let your nose get out of joint
There is no myth here that one can dispel
It’s now a part of life and it often causes strife
The simple fact is that its true…..sex sells

So home I did return and found your mother on the couch
She had changed into a teddy black and red
We popped open the beer, she placed a kiss upon my ear
So I picked her up and whisked her off to bed
To your imagination the next part will be left
Save to say that we had a lot of fun
By the time that we were through we started creating you
And in less than twenty minutes we were done


Well that look upon your face says you didn’t understand
So I’ll tell you what my father told my brother
When it comes to birds and bees and making new babies
All I can say is “Go and ask your mother”
So you did that very thing and a surprise to me did bring
That makes my chest two times begin to swell
For your mother’s answer too, just like what I had said to you
It’s a simple fact of life…..sex cells.



Details | Rhyme | |

Probably Not Prophetic

Whispered messages heard only in your mind
do not mean you have received heavenly advice
If you were to have yourself examined you'd find
mental instability to be a descriptor most concise


Details | Rhyme | |

The Mum

The first to wake
Another day
Another show
Boom boom, shake shake
Sleepy yawns
Wakey wake

Supermarket run
I used to find them so much fun
Until she decided to scream and shout
Bring it on girl
Loud and all out
I’ll just go and hide on my cloud

Ready steady bake
Last to eat the cake
“Have you had some Mum?”
No darling, you take

Mechanical moves
Automated mind
Generally
I don’t mind
I’d like for you to shed me
Some kind
Spend some time
To simply find
It’s healthy at times to be blind

I push, I pull
Kids to school
I wish I were just 
Horizontal in a pool

I could just walk out
“No mum that’s not cool”
Would I be such a fool?
But I’m the queen you know
I make the rules

The irritating whining song
A bell at the door
Ding-dong
I really need a manicure; it’s been so long
Door again
Ting tong
“What took you so long?”
I’m sorry 
I was busy window-shopping in Hong Kong

“Where’s my glove mum?”
Deep breathes, play dumb
“Where’s my recorder mum?”
One, two, three
Numb numb
“Sweetheart bring me the remote”
Here darling, stick it up your bum

The first to wake
The first to leave home
I want to be first in bed some days
To sit around and just laze
I need a haircut, some highlights
“Are you listening mum?”
Always! 


Details | Rhyme | |

Hodge Podge Four

(More Pun-ishment)

The difference between a Fine and a Tax
is really easy to tell!
A Fine is a tax, for doing wrong!
A Tax is a fine, for doing well!

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade,
I once heard someone say.
Find someone whose life gave them, Vodka'
then you two can party, the rest of the day!

"What's the purpose of Raindeer"?
He thought that question was funny!
He answered her, as best he could,
"It makes the grass grow, Honey"!

What Disney movie is about a stupid boyfriend?
Does anybody know?
Sorry people, your time is up!
The answer, of course, is "Dum-bo"!*

What's the longest piece of furniture in the world?
Please, answer if you're able!
You can go to the head of the class,
if you said - The Multiplication table!

If a Parrott is crossed, with a Centipede,
what would we get in the end?
The result,very simply stated,
is a "Walkie-Talkie", my friend!

A bullet stuck in a tree with no leaves,
would be difficult to see!
In any event, you would have to admit,
it's "a cartridge in a bare tree"!

What would you call a Rabbit with fleas?
Which wouldn't be all that funny!
I don't know about you folks,
but I would call him "Bugs Bunny"!

(*Dum-bo = Dumb Beau)


Details | I do not know? | |

- to all- good night.

angels are sprawled 
in the longest reach my children could snow-afford on my former green lawn
over-played carols over-play the car ride to the store, where they will continue 
an embarrassment of lights dangle ‘side a staple-holed roof trim
somewhere not ‘nough off too far
there  are
yards watching snowmen come and go
behind the windows that hold kitchens
the bills are a pilin’
the car’s in the driveway needing to be plugged in
the mailman’s griping ‘bout the weight of his sack
dropping off cards he’d gladly drag back
the t.v.’s got little relief
there’s a log burning on a 24 hour channel
that someone someday will commercial 
the crap out of
office parties forum the drunk, “Here’s what I really think of you…” 
spark the  short lived, misappropriate romance
the mall cattle call. . . from parking lot to till
warrants wrappings to be hauled away
to some landfill
waiting for Valentine’s Day


Details | Tanka | |

Splashing Dog

(This is a Tanka:  Japanese poem of five lines, the first and third composed of five
syllables and the others seven. In Japanese, tanka is often written in one straight line,
but in English and other languages, we usually divide the lines into the five syllabic
units: 5-7-5-7-7.)



Splashing Dog
    by Amy Swanson


Great drops of water
     fly vigorously from him!
Black hair glistening
     he gallops through the river,
     stops only to shake himself!


Details | Sonnet | |

My Friends Screen

Head hanging off couch waiting to be fed
Things take on new perspective looking up
'Twas noon bored to tears just lying in bed
Had to have some coke and ice in my big cup

Coke and chips are good to give me the strength
They are always here even though wish were
Not, they will be gone away at some length
Character traits say we can depend on her

Recycled teen can now visit friend
Get to station_for heard in distance train
Recycled teen now has fun is that plain
First of life was hard_life is better at the end

Enjoying golden years_no more inbetween
Mother and daddy can't now my friends screen


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

Wreck of Shrek

You know of tale of Fiona and Shrek.
They had both been human and ogre.
Changing twice, living, loving maugre,
Happily ever after was left in a wreck.

Fairy tales have to end that way for tots.
Society prefers it that way in stories.
Must be loving and living in glories.
However, in reality life has different plots.

Let’s change the ending now for you.
Suppose donkey changes into a prince.
Fiona falls for him then runs away hence.
Shrek has no idea now, of what to do.

Should he hunt for a witch to cast a spell?
Should he terrorize the countryside now?
Should he get a gun, then shoot, POW, POW?
Or just gather up and hide in a big shell.

Donkey now Prince loves Fiona so true.
Fiona loves both of them so very much.
She has a history, major changing and such.
Shrek changed back into an ogre too.

Fiona loved Shrek first though she left.
Then the story takes a strange turn.
Where both males are left to burn,
Fiona changes again by a fairy in a cleft.

Now Donkey as Prince, Shrek as ogre again,
Fiona now loves a male fairy.
She changes her mind, so scary.
Prince Donkey and Ogre Shrek then begin.

Traveling the countryside fighting dragons of fire,
They the bravest fighters of legend today,
Until meeting one female dragon in play
Prince Donkey falls in love with dragons’ desire.

Now Ogre Shrek has no friend to travel along
What had he done to deserve all this wrong?
He shouted outward with a very loud throng.
Next thing he knew he was fighting, King Kong.


Movie Shrek.

Written for

Sponsor John Heck 
Contest Name Happily Ever After? 


Details | Rhyme | |

guilty regardless

your honor he is guilty please put him in his place
no evidence is needed look at his guilty face
the victim was business man and he a homeless bum
besides when we said freeze, first thing he did was run

I know he had no motive and an airtight alibi
but he confess to murder when we questioned him inside
The confession was obtain by the book, with good detective work
right before he confessed  he fell down and got hurt

then he grabbed my baton and bashed himself three times
then choked himself unconscious, and peed his pants one time
we told him he could leave if he confess to this event
then filled him in cause he did not know exactly how it went

with much support from us he got the story down
guilty on all charges as the gavel pounded down

surely he is guilty  though we did not find the drugs
his wife and kids are lying they are no more than thugs
we destroyed the house from top to bottom we have torn out every wall
we must have overlooked it cause we found no drugs at all

their has to be an answer why we found no contraband
we can not let him go, we need to arrest this man
lets take some drugs from evidence and place it in his car
surprise look what I found, guilty is what you are.

this could be a little better but I had a five minute break at work and the poem 
guilty I read up here inspired it



Details | Senryu | |

Coco Chanel

Coco Chanel gel Fifty dollars = six ounces Sample last how long Rub a little on Each morning just feel richer Ackchu allergy
Too rich for my pocketbook anyway


Details | Blank verse | |

and off to the farm

the Sony goes off to station WFUV
I lie there still on the right side of the bed
Bob Dylan sings I don’t have to work on Maggie’s farm no more
the clock says five ten in small green neon like letters

get up five thirty
shower shave and pee
eggs toast and coffee
and off to the farm


Details | Ballade | |

A Ballade of Beseeching

As I was washing the dishes last week
I looked outside my windowpane.
Snow-filled land and winter bleak,
I see a moose—how inane!
Thinking I must be going insane, 
Or perhaps something of a retard,
I asked many but the answer was the same
Please get the moose out of my yard

One day within that crazy week
My husband was working in the plains
He went to a bush to take a leak
And there, staring, it was again!
He ran through the village through gasps of fright he just couldn’t retain
Now my hubbie is a lunatic, paranoid and scarred
With no fortune to his name!
Please get the moose out of my yard

Living here with seven babes on a meadow leek
Trying to keep sane
All the neighbors think me a freak
As I try to reassure and explain
And STILL the blasted animal remains
Keeping me absorbedly on-guard
He even trampled my great dane into grain!
Please get the moose out of my yard 

Dear Prince, soon King so to speak
I beseech you with utmost regard
If it so pleases I will throw you a daughter for queen
Just please—PLEASE get the moose out of my yard!


Details | Limerick | |

Let's Duke It Out

<                   Once came along an man named John Wayne
                     Winchester by his side causes more pain                           
                     Dusty trails ballroom brawls
                     Battlefield's muddy crawls
                     The duke of western inflicting gains


Details | I do not know? | |

Something for the weekend

We’re preparing the house for invasion
They’ll be here pretty soon, there’s no doubt
The valuable things, have been tucked away
Some items, sans worth, we’ve left out

There are locks on all of the cupboards
The breakable pieces are hidden
To stop those inquisitive hands
Some rooms, will now be, forbidden

With toddlers about to arrive
For a weekend of laughter and frolics
If these grand parents hope to survive
They will need to become alcoholics 

But we sit and drink tea in the parlour
It passes the time while we’re waiting
Tea helps to quell, the nerves that you feel
When you’re infanticipating


Details | Acrostic | |

Electronically Speaking

<                                   elects not to open door by hand
                                     looks pretty stupid too                                     
                                     even an grandma can do it 
                                     calling all grandma's
                                     technology has gone to far
                                     really really to far now
                                     one does not need to be an rocket scientist
                                     nor an magician
                                     it's easy as one two three
                                     candidly smile
                                     tip your hats
                                     look both ways
                                     launch arms outward
                                     and pull or push  that's it



My Word Chosen Was
Electronically



Written by 
Katherine Stella
5/9/2011


Entry For Dakarai Cobb's
The Sonnet Man's Acrostic Challenge
GL All


Details | Rhyme | |

WHEN THE EVIDENCE WENT MISSING

I was perched upon a wooden bench beneath a bottle tree 
when this worn out wiry ringer stopped to rest his gammy knee. 
I’d been touring through the outback and had sought to sit a spell 
while the missus spent her hard earned cash and some of mine as well. 
 
His grey hair was to his shoulder and his unkempt beard grey too 
and he moaned, “Me old knee’s knackered and there’s nothing they can do.” 
He’d suggested that a fall way back, while duffing some stray steers,  
was responsible for his bad limp and pain all through the years. 
 
“So it’s fair to say the adage then … crime does not pay …. is true 
and the walking stick you carry mate is proof enough for you. 
“With respect to that … perhaps old mate, but not the case always, 
you see … once I beat the system … but back in my younger days.”  
     
This old codger had me spell-bound, as a tale was on the boil, 
and I figured if I stayed around he’d give me the good oil.  
Bony fingers forced his hat back, which was battered, torn and old,   
then he rubbed his wiry whiskers as the story did unfold.  
 
“Old man Smythe from Yukeabilla sought assistance for his herd 
as his property was bare of feed and he had just got word 
that agistment was available down south at Myabode, 
so he mustered all his cattle and he took them on the road. 
 
“With his son Dave on the payroll they pushed past the neighbour’s block, 
but they somehow gained an increase to the numbers of their stock. 
Then again as they passed Brucedale, the Smythe herd it grew some more 
and it wasn’t natural increases:  I know that, mate, for sure. 
 
“After weeks of choking dust and flies they reached their journey’s end 
where they left the stock to fatten and return a dividend. 
Back up north the local stock squad warned all cockies ‘round that way   
should they sight the stolen cattle,  they should ring without delay. 

“The old manager on Myabode was taken by surprise 
when he recognised the stolen brands, but instantly got wise 
as to how the mob had got there and then rang Detective Brown, 
who impounded them as evidence and trucked them to this town. 
 
“All the cattle in the yarding pen were supervised at night  
while their day trip to the Common proved to be a frequent sight. 
With the native tracker out in front and driving his old ute, 
this small motley herd of cattle learnt to follow in pursuit. 

CONTINUED


Details | Rhyme | |

Box of Tissues-Humiliation-

Why was I a 32A
Why not a volumptuous D
Can’t afford a boob job
Only one thing open to me

Can use a jelly filler
That feels disgusting in your hand
Or a box of tissues
Doesn’t matter which brand

I have a cold so it’s ok
The tissues might come in handy
Stuffed my bra with them
Thought I looked just dandy

Went to the party smile on my face
Danced ate and drunk, got so warm
Had funny looks, plenty of space
Asked my best friend why am I alone

When she stopped laughing
Couldn’t believe when told
Tissues used were impregnated with
The smelly stuff used for a cold

Penned  10 April 2013


Details | Blank verse | |

I CHOOSE THE FASTEST LOOKING HORSE

I CHOOSE THE FASTEST LOOKING HORSE
MUSCULAR YET SLEEK IN SHAPE
WITH A FIXED LOOK OF DETERMINATION
A BODY OF BRIGHT COLORS 
AND A SADDLE AND BLANKET TO MATCH

I HOLD ON TIGHT 
THE CAROUSEL MOVES
AROUND AND AROUND
THE MUSIC CONTINUOUSLY PLAYS ON 
AS MY HORSE GOES UP AND DOWN IN PLACE

THE WORLD AROUND ME CONTINUES TO CHANGE 
I KIND OF SEE IT 
VIEWING IT AT A TANGENTIAL ANGLE
FROM THE CORNER OF MY HORSE
FROM THE CORNER OF MY EYE

AS I GO AROUND AND AROUND
AT A CONSTANT SPEED 
THE WORLD SEEMS TO MOVE 
IN A CHAOTIC WAY
I HOLD ON TIGHT 

I PULL ON THE REINS
AND I AND EVERYTHING AROUND ME 
SEEMS TO COME TO A HALT
EXCEPT THE WORLD 
WHICH SEEMS TO BE OUT OF CONTROL
AND MOVES ON 


Details | Limerick | |

Bam Bam

Slam poetry, bam, bam, bam
Reminds me of the Flintstones, ma’am
Rough language meant to cut.
Great Gazoo got the rut.
Nowadays even our Uncle Sam.


Details | Blank verse | |

PROBLEMS

PROBLEMS EXIST
SO YOU KNOW YOU’RE ALIVE
SO THAT YOU’LL HAVE SOMETHING 
TO WORK ON
WHEN EVERYTHING ELSE IS GONE
WHEN RECREATION FAILS YOU 
AND YOU’RE FEELING REAL BLUE
PROBLEMS WILL BE THERE 
ONLY FOR YOU

PROBLEMS ARE 
SOMETHING TO REMEMBER THE PAST BY
WHEN THEY’RE ULTIMATELY GONE 
AND ALMOST FORGOTTEN 
EXCEPT FOR THE SIGH

PROBLEMS ARE
SOMETHING TO CREATE FOR THE FUTURE
SO THAT YOU KNOW
YOU WON’T BE BORED
AND THAT THEY’LL PASS BY
BUT BE REPLACED WITH THE NEW
THANK GOD FOR PROBLEMS
THANK GOD 
FOR THE FLU


Details | Free verse | |

"I am a Laid Back Fact"

In my eighteen wheeler rolling, I am like a salmon fish in the rapids shoaling! Spawn’s flowing 
next generation’s showing!  Black smoke a rolling from smoke stack.

I am laid back, I don’t snort crack, I take time to stop and get some java black, and  hit 
sleeper sack! I don’t let my mind get out of whack!

Even my cb handle  is, ‘Laid Back’, I acquired the name way back, in driving school, I live 
good life  jack!

“Laid Back”, my cb handle on the radio, and my 460 Cummins an’t slow, she’ll blow and go, 
she climbs Cabbage mountain in a snow, “good buddy, come back!”

I hear drama queen, playing her scene, on cb radio, her sultry voice saying, “I am Back!”

Inviting me to stop at a TA travel stop, telling me what all kind of food they got, I tell her I 
am already late, can’t stop!” Been there, done that, all they got is slop!

Again I hear drama queen, cussing a stream, saying, "you’re the lying-est  S.O.B. I’ve ever 
seen." But I am not mean, I just don’t make this type scene. 

I pull over on shoulder to miss lost tire tread called an alligator, as a 40 pound possum, runs 
under my trailer, meeting his alter meta.

A beautiful dream, the trucker scene, all the world I mean! I’ve not been mean, I am laid 
back. And I don’t let my mind get off track! Don’t smoke dope! Don’t get on that slope! 

I am laid back! I stay on track! I am Love, I live, that’s  what I give. So if you want to live, 
Love is what you give.
 
To live laid back, you must stay on track. And out of drama queen’s sack. For she has that 
knack, to draw you back, into a life of your mind that’s cracked, a life minus Agape fact.

It’s time for humanity to pull over and rest, from a mind of fest. This trucker wishes you all 
the best, be Love’s guest. For of a mind of fest, your life can become a mess. Be laid back, 
keep your mind on a reality of Love’s fact! I am drew back ,“I am Laid Back!”

Placed #4



Details | Cowboy | |

Untitled

Tainted love 
or tired love?
Smug attitudes
and weak games
Look at you!
Your such a lame!
Me cry?! Ha! Not no more!
NOT EVER!
Five point five years
What a joke?!
All you do is lie
Keep smoking your life away!
Wake up before its too late!
Before this love turns into hate!
Your too old to act this way!
Your too comfortable
You cant stay!
In my life!
In my way!
Goodbye to you!!!


Details | Light Poetry | |

My Big Brother Is Watching You Too

"My Big Brother" up and down the street
  He