These Horse Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Horse. These are the best examples of Horse Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets
HORSE FROM MARS
It came from the sky, a gray silver stallion.
I looked up high, and I have also seen a dragon.
With so many things in this universe.
I'm on stand-by with a camera in my purse.
Who would have known I'd be the first to spot a PEGASUS.
The town folks wave hi every time I walk my hippopotamus.
I enjoy showing everyone, my pictures of a flying horse.
I don't see why they call a DOCTOR every time I call the TASK FORCE
I think they are jealous over all the things I've seen.
They act all crazy since I sighted a LEPRECHAUN when I was fourteen.
No one ever believed me when I saw an army of dragonflies.
They have a name for me "the boy who See's too much in the skies!"
I don't know why they can't see what I see.
For all I know they are all experiments under Alien Technology.
They don't believe me how I got this magic MEDALLION.
It was a friendly gift from the silver stallion.
I also have many pictures of a UNICORN.
We became best-friends when he gave me a piece of its magic horn.
We sat together while he drank from the lake.
We enjoyed talking, --talking about how U.F.O.'s are fake.
Why can't they see? The day I fell off a boat, I got rescued by a MERMAID!
Who would have known a mermaid swim around with first-aid.
I also remember the day I followed a LEPRECHAUNS.
We were playing under the rainbow having so much fun.
When I told my doctor about all the things I've seen.
He locked me in a DUNGEON, thinking I was the ALIEN QUEEN.
I begged and I told him I don't believe in any type of alien.
Too bad the master of this dungeon came from another region.
In a way he looks like that one SILVER STALLION from Mars.
The first creature I'd seen the day I fell off the monkey bars.
I have this picture of this horse of course.
JUST help me out of this white-jacket!!! ;-)
If you want to see the coolest picture of a flying horse.
(A small collaboration with: B-Boy)
re-post for ~FUNNY CONTEST
There was a man who had a horse
Means of friendship and transportation of course
Everywhere the man did go horse was there for show
This horse began old to grow
To the used car lot the man did go
Selecting a car with many horses you know
Not knowing it was a lemon he bought
Now on the car he constantly sought
Parts to replace what would not go and
On one side the man would stand
Peering into the broken car with plan
On a stump on the other side
The horse would stand trying to guide
His friend on where the problem did lie
Also he was studying the working parts
Trying to figure out how all those horses fit inside
They formed a posse and it was loaded
Three experienced at tracking
And their guide
He was a one-legged kangaroo
No one dared to waltz with him
Even Matilda kept clear
The heat was unbearable
And no one liked bank robbers
Crossing upstream the three rode through rapids
One horse was bitten by a bee
It startled him and reared
Throwing the third rider into the rapids
One scream and carried downstream
The other two rode the banks and the rapid
And their one legged kangaroo hopped
One hop forward but always angles
They came to a suddenly quiet pool
They saw a hat that was clear
The horse whinnied and a single tear
The kangaroo was exhausted and thought of a new line of work
His master lay face down and floated
The three horses gazed at the floater
And the two men followed their lead
And what about the bank robbers
They had a pint
A Lil' Bit of Aus... Free Poetry Contest
Sponsor Tracie ~*~ Indigo Dreamweaver
I bet on a horse and it won
50 quid is not a huge sum
So I bet again and still won
But 100 quid is still a small sum
So I bet again and guess what?
Yes, I won
But 300 quid is still not a big sum
So you know what I did? Yes u do
I bet again and yes I won
But 500 quid is not a big sum,
So I decided to go to the zoo
to buy a gorilla who had flu
I got him cheap, but he was big,
bigger then my 500 sum
I bet he could swim, jump, play
polo and clean out a sump
He did all this with much glee, but I
am still not rich you see
My poorly gorilla costs me a lot, the
vets are an expensive lot
So my 500 quids are no more, and
my gorilla looks sad even more.
So I sold my pet to my vet, cus he
wanted him as a pet
Now I have 500 to bet, and yes on a
horse. I bet
My horse was called gorilla in the
Gosh what a fantastic twist.
Surely my horse should win this
race, and yes he did, at a casual gait.
Now I have 1000 quid to my name,
so back to the zoo, for some other
I brought a giraffe, with my stake,
he had a long neck and he smelled
But my story ends here as my Dr
Come on he said to me, what have
written on your pad?
Wow said my Dr that’s just great,
now time for your medication date!
As you run
Legs and hips
You turn around
Well shaped rear
THIS IS HOW LIFE FEELS WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE
I have a general philosophical precept
Life is in general a bowl of cherries except
When someone stabs me in the back who didn’t oughta
From a completely unexpected quarter
I mean it’s ok if some dude whom I don’t like or trust
Has a go at me and feels he must
But if my wife tells me I continually bug her with my fidgets
And then she runs off with a team of one-legged circus midgets
Or my kids sell their hand-bound volumes of my poems
To buy a ton of horse manure to mix with the garden loams
And even the cat turns down my offer of warm milk
To go next door and sleep on sheets of silk
Or if a poetry contest excludes me simply because my name
Is unacceptable, maybe because I am black, or lacking in fame,
Or because I’m Methodist, and gay, and Republican, and from East Lansing,
Then I say to myself, well here’s the thing:
If, along with my poem entry, I’ve slipped in fifty bucks,
Well then how can I be excluded? I mean shucks -
Rules is rules but when I’ve already paid to be in the winners’ list
I feel I have the right, and I just gotta insist,
Cos midgets and fidgets don’t amount to squat
And sheets of silk or loads of horse manure is a lot
But my name’s my pride and joy and I am proud to add it
(But I fear to do it again in this contest or I’ve had it),
So in this contest I will remain anonymous
Though I guess the details writ here are just about synonymous
With a name I do not dare speak - at risk of exclusion
But I’m pretty sure this extra fifty bucks will lessen the confusion.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Written - with great affection - for
Nancy Jones's Contest "This is how life feels when you get to be my age..."
As a little girl she loved western boots
Loved to pretend she was riding a giant horse
Pictures were all over the home of her and the white boots
When she got a little older she finally rode a real horse with laughter
Her parents bought her a horse when she was ten and took many pictures
She wore her boots and that horse as well
She fed the horse apples,carrots and peppermints
The horse would chomp the apple and carrots but put the peppermints in his cheek
He sucked on that candy and the drool was red
She would wear her battered boots to school and the horse wore the drool
When she was eighteen the horse died but the boots didn't
They were bigger now and polished in case the boys called
She bought a new horse but wore the old boots
The horse didn't know they were old and the boots were shined
Her friends were all fashionable but the boots were hers
They carried her with marriage,babies and through her divorce
The heels wore down like her marriage but she didn't and the new horse loved peppermints too
Marriages wear as do people but those famous boots can be re shod
And she was older and forgetful and the horse died
But when she put those boots on she was ten and galloping
And she would chomp an apple or carrot and suck on a peppermint
And the drool on her famous boots
To my dear friend and her horse who loved peppermints
Thoughts by a Horse Owner
A farmer milks a cow for all it’s worth …but
a horse milks a farmer for all he’s worth!
Horses are an expensive proposition to say the least.
Try lavishing your love on another beast.
When you look upon a star and make a wish,
much cheaper to try for a goldfish.
But if you can’t afford it
when your dream comes true,
just flush it down the loo.
Or if you’re into recycling, eat the little guy…
And for crying out loud,
quit wishing towards the sky!
Answer to Doris Culverhouse’s invite for a silly poem.
There you go Doris! : ) ...(but I mean it!)
Telling of Truths
A brown horse galloped across a snowy field at the end
of the pasture a fence, it jumped over and continued its
crazy gallop into the woods only came to a shuddering
halt when it saw a moose. Steaming nostrils, the moose
charged, horse fled deeper into the woods. Where it met
a forest troll who took it into his cave and gave the horse
a bucket of hot chocolate to drink. Since the snow deep
and tiring to sink into when walking, the troll also fitted
the horse with snow shoes; also, the troll had no need of
a horse led it back to its field. When the farmer came to
fetch his horse and saw the snowshoes, he had a nervous
breakdown and sent away to an asylum, where doctors
tried to convince him it was all in his mind. But the farmer
would have none of it. So he is still there and they will not
release him until he agrees with them that a horse wears
iron shoes and not snowshoes.
"Our horses are well-trained and subdued!", blared the stable sign!
That made a lot of horse-sense to me and suited me just fine.
I'm not an equestrian and had never ridden a horse before.
"Not to worry", said he, "you'll soon establish a fine rapport!"
I paid the price agreed and he produced an elegant steed.
Says he, "Why, he's so tame that little kids ride 'im, yes indeed!"
His name was 'Killer' which aroused in me some suspicion,
But I set that aside anxious to get on with my expedition!
I approached the beast with not a little apprehension.
He stood there paying me not the least bit of attention,
'Til I put my foot in the stirrup then he turned his head and stared,
Glared, stomped and snorted with his nostrils fully flared!
At last I managed to climb upon the well-worn western saddle.
The guy slapped Killer's rump and yelled, "Now, y'all skedaddle!"
Off we galloped like a bat out of you know where,
Me holding on with all my might proffering a hasty prayer!
I've flown upside down in planes, done loops and other gyrations,
But that cayuse gave me the wildest ride despite my supplications!
Back at the stable I straightened my back with a visible wince,
And fellers I'm here to tell you, I ain't rode another horse since!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved