Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership




Funny Horse Poems | Funny Poems About Horse

These Funny Horse poems are examples of Funny poems about Horse. These are the best examples of Funny Horse poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

If you don't find the poem you want here, try our incredible, super duper, all-knowing, advanced poem search engine.

Details | Couplet | |

Horse From Mars

HORSE FROM MARS

It came from the sky, a gray silver stallion.
I looked up high, and I have also seen a dragon.

With so many things in this universe.
I'm on stand-by with a camera in my purse. 

Who would have known I'd be the first to spot a PEGASUS.
The town folks wave hi every time I walk my hippopotamus.

I enjoy showing everyone, my pictures of a flying horse.
I don't see why they call a DOCTOR every time I call the TASK FORCE

I think they are jealous over all the things I've seen.
They act all crazy since I sighted a LEPRECHAUN when I was fourteen.

No one ever believed me when I saw an army of dragonflies.
They have a name for me "the boy who See's too much in the skies!"

I don't know why they can't see what I see.
For all I know they are all experiments under Alien Technology.

They don't believe me how I got this magic MEDALLION.
It was a friendly gift from the silver stallion.

I also have many pictures of a  UNICORN.
We became best-friends when he gave me a piece of its magic horn.

We sat together while he drank from the lake.
We enjoyed talking, --talking about how U.F.O.'s are fake.

Why can't they see? The day I fell off a boat, I got rescued by a MERMAID!
Who would have known a mermaid swim around with first-aid.

I also remember the day I followed a LEPRECHAUNS.
We were playing under the rainbow having so much fun.

When I told my doctor about all the things I've seen.
He locked me in a DUNGEON, thinking I was the ALIEN QUEEN.

I begged and I told him I don't believe in any type of alien.
Too bad the master of this dungeon came from another region.

In a way he looks like that one SILVER STALLION from Mars.
The first creature I'd seen the day I fell off the monkey bars.

I have this picture of this horse of course.
JUST help me out of this white-jacket!!! ;-)
If you want to see the coolest picture of a flying horse. 

   ~SKAT~
       &
(A small collaboration with: B-Boy)

re-post for ~FUNNY CONTEST


Details | Rhyme | |

Three Hundred And Fifty Horses

There was a man who had a horse
Means of friendship and transportation of course
Everywhere the man did go horse was there for show
This horse began old to grow

To the used car lot the man did go
Selecting a car with many horses you know
Not knowing it was a lemon he bought
Now on the car he constantly sought

Parts to replace what would not go and
On one side the man would stand
Peering into the broken car with plan
On a stump on the other side

The horse would stand trying to guide
His friend on where the problem did lie
Also he was studying the working parts
Trying to figure out how all those horses fit inside


Details | Free verse | |

The Empty Saddle

They formed a posse and it was loaded

Three experienced  at tracking

And their guide

He was a one-legged kangaroo

No one dared to waltz with him

Even Matilda kept clear

The heat  was unbearable

Australia

And no one liked bank robbers

Crossing upstream the three rode through rapids

One horse was bitten by a bee

It startled him and reared

Throwing the third rider into the rapids

One scream and carried downstream

The other two rode the banks and the rapid

And their one legged kangaroo hopped

One hop forward but always angles

They came to a suddenly quiet pool

They saw a hat that was clear

The horse whinnied and a single tear

The kangaroo was exhausted and thought of a new line of work

His master lay face down and floated 

The three horses gazed at the floater

And the two men followed their  lead

And what about the bank robbers

They had a pint



A Lil' Bit of Aus... Free Poetry Contest
Sponsor	Tracie ~*~ Indigo Dreamweaver  


Details | Narrative | |

Famous Boots

As a little girl she loved western boots

Loved to pretend she was riding a giant horse

Pictures were all over the home of her and the white boots

When she got a little older she finally rode a real horse with laughter

Her parents bought her a horse when she was ten and took many pictures

She wore her boots and that horse as well

She fed the horse apples,carrots and peppermints

The horse would chomp the apple and carrots but put the peppermints in his cheek

He sucked on that candy and the drool was red

She would wear her battered boots to school and the horse wore the drool

When she was eighteen the horse died but the boots didn't

They were bigger now and polished in case the boys called

She bought a new horse but wore the old boots

The horse didn't know they were old and the boots were shined

Her friends were all fashionable but the boots were hers

They carried her with marriage,babies and through her divorce

The heels wore down like her marriage but she didn't and the new horse loved peppermints too

Marriages wear as do people but those famous boots can be re shod

And she was older and forgetful and the horse died

But when she put those boots on  she was ten and galloping

And she would chomp an apple or carrot and suck on a peppermint 

And the drool on her famous boots


To my dear friend and her horse who loved peppermints


Details | Haiku | |

Haiku 44

This haiku has been deleted due to possible publication.


Details | Acrostic | |

my bet

I bet on a horse and it won
50 quid is not a huge sum
So I bet again and still won 
But 100 quid is still a small sum
So I bet again and guess what?
Yes, I won
But 300 quid is still not a big sum
So you know what I did? Yes u do
I bet again and yes I won
But 500 quid is not a big sum,
So I decided to go to the zoo 
to buy a gorilla who had flu
I got him cheap, but he was big, 
bigger then my 500 sum
I bet  he could swim, jump, play 
polo and clean out a sump
He did all this with much glee, but I 
am still not rich you see
My poorly gorilla costs me a lot, the 
vets are an expensive lot
So my 500 quids are no more, and 
my gorilla looks sad even more.
So I sold my pet to my vet, cus he 
wanted him as a pet
Now I have 500 to bet, and yes on a 
horse. I bet
My horse was called gorilla in the 
mist
Gosh what a fantastic twist.
Surely my horse should win this 
race, and yes he did, at a casual gait.
Now I have 1000 quid to my name, 
so back to the zoo, for some other 
game.
I brought a giraffe, with my stake, 
he had a long neck and he smelled 
great
But my story ends here as my Dr 
appeared.
Come on he said to me, what have 
written on your pad?
Wow said my Dr that’s just great, 
now time for your medication date!


Details | Free verse | |

My True Beauty

Eyes brown
Knowing intelligent
Brunette hair
Following behind 
As you run
Gentle loving
Enjoying others

Legs and hips
Most beautiful 
I've seen
Torso
Michaelangelo
Could sculpt

You turn around
Well shaped rear
Tail swishing 

To flick
Away the
Flies


Details | Couplet | |

THIS IS HOW LIFE FEELS WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE

THIS IS HOW LIFE FEELS WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE

I have a general philosophical  precept
Life is in general a bowl of cherries except 
When someone stabs me in the back who didn’t oughta
From a completely unexpected quarter
I mean it’s ok if some dude whom I don’t like or trust
Has a go at me and feels he must
But if my wife tells me I continually bug her with my fidgets 
And then she  runs off with a team of one-legged circus midgets
Or my kids sell their hand-bound volumes of my poems
To buy a ton of horse manure to mix with the garden loams
And even the cat turns down my offer of warm milk
To go next door and sleep on sheets of silk
Or if a poetry contest excludes me simply because my name 
Is unacceptable, maybe because I am black, or lacking in fame, 
Or because I’m Methodist, and  gay, and Republican, and from  East Lansing,
Then I say to myself, well  here’s the thing:
If, along with my poem entry, I’ve  slipped in fifty bucks,
Well then  how can I be excluded?  I mean shucks  -
Rules is rules but when I’ve already paid to be in the winners’ list
I feel I have the right,  and  I just gotta insist,  
Cos midgets and fidgets don’t amount to squat
And sheets of silk or loads of horse manure is a lot
But  my name’s my pride and joy and I am proud to add it
(But I fear to do it again in this contest or I’ve had it),
So in this contest I will remain anonymous
Though I guess the details writ here are just about synonymous 
With a name  I do not dare speak  - at risk of exclusion
But I’m pretty sure this extra fifty bucks will lessen the confusion.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Written  - with great affection -  for
Nancy Jones's   Contest 	"This is how life feels when you get to be my age..."


Details | Rhyme | |

Thoughts by a Horse Owner

Thoughts by a Horse Owner

A farmer milks a cow for all it’s worth …but
    a horse milks a farmer for all he’s worth!

Horses are an expensive proposition to say the least.
Try lavishing your love on another beast.
When you look upon a star and make a wish,
much cheaper to try for a goldfish.
But if you can’t afford it
when your dream comes true,
just flush it down the loo.
Or if you’re into recycling, eat the little guy…
And for crying out loud,
quit wishing towards the sky!


Answer to Doris Culverhouse’s invite for a silly poem.
There you go Doris! : )     ...(but I mean it!)


Details | Burlesque | |

telling the truth

Telling of Truths 
A brown horse galloped across a snowy field at the end 
of the pasture a fence, it jumped over and continued its 
crazy gallop into the woods only came to a shuddering 
halt when it saw a moose.  Steaming nostrils, the moose
 charged, horse fled deeper into the woods. Where it met 
a forest troll who took it into his cave and gave the horse
a bucket of hot chocolate to drink. Since the snow deep 
and tiring to sink into when walking, the troll also fitted 
the horse with snow shoes; also, the troll had no need of 
a horse led it back to its field. When the farmer came to 
fetch his horse and saw the snowshoes, he had a nervous 
breakdown and sent away to an asylum, where doctors 
tried to convince him it was all in his mind. But the farmer 
would have none of it. So he is still there and they will not
release him until he agrees with them that a horse wears 
iron shoes and not snowshoes.


Details | Rhyme | |

One Horse Town

One Horse Town


The boardwalks full of people only two stood in the street.
The showdown of the century counting down to thirty feet.

Black Bart said this towns too small for you and I to both be in it.
Today's the day we found out which one of us will win it.

Handy Randy took a spit and looked up at the sun.
He said yep, the truth be known by the time this day is done.

A hush fell over the town folks mother's hid their children's faces.
The two men in the desert sun walked just a few more paces.

The sheriff called out that's close enough! I'm a countin down from three.
Who's the best in all the west this whole damn town will see.

When he called that magic number Barts face turned black as night.
Handy Randy drew his pencil and they both sat down to write.

Randy wrote of springtime rain and the sound of childrens laughter.
Bart penned a verse about Randy moving on to the hereafter.

Then Randy wrote another verse so quick he made it rhyme.
The sheriff said time is up Bart finished just in time.

They filed into the saloon and they ordered up a drink.
While the judges read their writings and told them what they think.

Again the crowd grew quiet as they eagerly watched the show.
Old Hank from the hardware store said he really liked Barts flow.

The blacksmith from the stable stood up and cleared his throat.
And in almost a whisper said I loved what Randy wrote.

Bill that ran the old hotel said there ain't use denying.
My wife is a Randy fan but she always ends up crying.

The barber from on down the street trembled neath Barts gaze.
He said Barts poetry's kinda dark but he likes it anyways.

Some town folks started clapping you could hear the women sigh.
For the third year in a row the judges ruled a tie.

For some folks love the softer side while there's some that like it deep.
And not all men do their dreaming at night while fast asleep.

Once again the call was made the choice was handed down.
Black Bart and Handy Randy stay in this one horse town.

Edwin C Hofert


Details | Rhyme | |

Horsemanship

"Our horses are well-trained and subdued!", blared the stable sign!
That made a lot of horse-sense to me and suited me just fine.
I'm not an equestrian and had never ridden a horse before.
"Not to worry", said he, "you'll soon establish a fine rapport!"

I paid the price agreed and he produced an elegant steed.
Says he, "Why, he's so tame that little kids ride 'im, yes indeed!"
His name was 'Killer' which aroused in me some suspicion,
But I set that aside anxious to get on with my expedition!

I approached the beast with not a little apprehension.
He stood there paying me not the least bit of attention,
'Til I put my foot in the stirrup then he turned his head and stared,
Glared, stomped and snorted with his nostrils fully flared!

At last I managed to climb upon the well-worn western saddle.
The guy slapped Killer's rump and yelled, "Now, y'all skedaddle!"
Off we galloped like a bat out of you know where,
Me holding on with all my might proffering a hasty prayer!

I've flown upside down in planes, done loops and other gyrations,
But that cayuse gave me the wildest ride despite my supplications!
Back at the stable I straightened my back with a visible wince,
And fellers I'm here to tell you, I ain't rode another horse since!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Rhyme | |

The Four Horsemen of the Amockalypse

At the sound of the first horn, the joke becomes ill,
And there is just no amount of comedic skill,
That can hide its indecency, but try he will,
And despite its poor taste, he will use it still.

Upon the second horn, The Heckler appears,
And the joke is now met with insensitive jeers,
“Is that all you’ve got?!” he does scoff as he sneers,
And upon confrontation he sits there and leers.

The third horn is sounded and Silence arrives,
And of applause and of laughter he cruelly deprives,
Starving the joke of the food he derives,
From the merriment upon which every joke thrives.

The last horn is sounded and the final death stroke,
Is dealt upon our poor unfortunate joke,
He lets out a wheeze and gives a small choke
And at last did our poor whimsy finally croak.

‘Tis the end of the line for our jolly old friend,
And there is no amount of first aid that could mend,
The injuries to what the comedian penned,
For our tired joke has met its sweet end.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Even MORE Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the Day

ON THE ROCKS
 
Talk about bad luck, I hit rock bottom and broke a leg
One advantage to hitting rock bottom is at least I know which way is up now
I hit Rock’s bottom and he promptly kicked my bottom from one end to the other
It usually bottoms out when I hit rock bottom

WAXING PHILOSOPHIC (YEAH YOU MOPPED, BUT DID YOU WAX?... I THOUGHT NOT!)

A tree fell in the forest and a hearing impaired gentleman was nearby so it did NOT make a sound
You think, therefore you are and just who do think you are, anyway? 
What does not kill me only makes me weak in the stomach when I am presented with the hospital bill
People who live in bakeries should not throw scones

DONCHA’ JUST LOVE IT?

Love is blind and keeps bumping into things
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!  Um…
I loved her to death but got off on a technicality
Star-crossed lovers occasionally get crossed up and can get rather cross about it too

I SAW ONE THE OTHER DAY I SWEAR TO GOD I DID
 
I made a Snowman that frankly speaking, looked Abominable
The Abominable Snowman retired to Florida and melted on the spot
Bigfoot treated The Abominable Snowman and family to dinner and footed the entire bill (however, things got pretty hairy when his credit card was refused)
Bigfoot often puts his foot in his mouth and he’s got a big mouth too

YOU’RE A REAL PAIN IN THE ASS AND STOP ACTING LIKE A HORSE’S ASS, SMART-ASS AND MY ASS CAN WHIP YOUR ASS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK TOO

A mule got a species change operation and made a real ass of himself
So WHAT if I’ve got it all backwards?  (You whole-ass- b_tch-of- a-son!)
Secretariat lost his ass in a High-Stakes poker game
A horse was unjustly discriminated against because it was a horse of a different color

 


Details | Terza Rima | |

Gift Horse(second hand Christmas tree)

Christmas tree full of lights
What is the problem with your center?
darkness, darkness just like nights

starless, lightless tree center
unholy curses escape, unholy lips
murderous thoughts enter

branches remove and assemble tips
try and connect an electrical
circuit, help, help light the eclipse

unoriginal, typical, abnormal deal!!


Details | ABC | |

The Horse Race

The Horse Race. 
The announcer says the horse is at the gate.
There is wee willy on your just silly;
Patty shes riding cupcake bite.
Dick hes on hiccup.
The gate open and they are off. It's dick on hiccup, cup cake and wee willy on just 
silly.
As the get to turn one it's willy on just silly,Dick has hiccup at second and patty 
riding third with cupcake.
In turn two it's just silly,hiccup and cupcake. Turn four its cupcake,hick just silly 
And now at the wire you got hiccup just silly and cupcake.
People we have to stop the race. Wee Willy on just silly ate patty cupcake which 
gave him the hiccups


Details | Verse | |

Canadian Mountie in Glasgow

A man from the Canadian Mounties 
Joined the Strathclyde police,
Seconded to tame the gangs
Of the inner Glasgow streets.

But on one sunny day
In Southern Lanarkshire,
A horse escaped from its stable
To bring some local fear.

So they called our Canadian pal
To see how he rides a horse,
And if he could tame the stallion
In the style of the Canadian force.

As he approached the GG
It let the man sit on its back,
Who bragged to his uniformed pals
"See I ain't no Mountie hack".

But slowly creeping behind 
Sergeant Jock gave the horse a wack,
The horse responded in kind
And bolted with its rider bear back.

To the shock of our Mountie friend
Being scared he'll hit the deck,
Grabbed the horse real tight
With sleeper hold around its neck.

But the horse just panicked more
And ran as fast as it could,
With the pride of the mounted police
'Round it's neck straight into the wood.

So the rest of the police on duty
followed the horse and its jockey,
Laughing and running so hard
Thinking of jokes that could mock him.

They eventually found the horse
Without our Mountie friend,
For the horse threw off Canadian pride
When their run had come to and end.

Now if you ask our Mountie friend
"Do you ride horses anymore",
He'll smile and wink as he tells you
"I've never ridden a horse before".



Note : this is a true story. A Strathclyde (Glasgow) policeman told me so it must be true



Details | Rhyme | |

The Clothes Horse

The Clothes Horse
Joanna Davis


He rode her in autumn, winter and spring
In summer he bought her everything
balmain, chanel… the finest couture,
this lonely clothes horse with elegance wore
Each affair she saw through her designer lens, 
and with christian dior he make amends
In every debauchery he could safely wallow, 
as his shackled filly would every lie swallow
So heed this lesson and don’t be spoon fed,
or you’ll be a horse’s a** instead of a thoroughbred!


 


Details | Free verse | |

Horse Deal

Horse Deal A very rich Rancher from the North goes down to Mexico. He takes a drive out on the Country sight. He sees a young boy bathing and combing a beautiful horse. He asks the boy how much he wanted for the horse. The boy said - this horse not for sale. The man says - why not? The boy says - he do not lookie too good. The man says - I make you a deal and give you $300.00 the boy says no. The man says - I give you $500.00 The boy says OK, but he do not lookie too good. The man says - he looks mighty fine to me. He gives him the money and asks him to help him get on the horse. The boy did, but the horse trips and the man falls. He than tells the boy - why didn't you tell me, this horse was blind. The boy says - I did. I told you - he did not lookie too good.... 07/07/2013 For Andrea's contest Show Me The Funny


Details | Blank verse | |

I CHOOSE THE FASTEST LOOKING HORSE

I CHOOSE THE FASTEST LOOKING HORSE
MUSCULAR YET SLEEK IN SHAPE
WITH A FIXED LOOK OF DETERMINATION
A BODY OF BRIGHT COLORS 
AND A SADDLE AND BLANKET TO MATCH

I HOLD ON TIGHT 
THE CAROUSEL MOVES
AROUND AND AROUND
THE MUSIC CONTINUOUSLY PLAYS ON 
AS MY HORSE GOES UP AND DOWN IN PLACE

THE WORLD AROUND ME CONTINUES TO CHANGE 
I KIND OF SEE IT 
VIEWING IT AT A TANGENTIAL ANGLE
FROM THE CORNER OF MY HORSE
FROM THE CORNER OF MY EYE

AS I GO AROUND AND AROUND
AT A CONSTANT SPEED 
THE WORLD SEEMS TO MOVE 
IN A CHAOTIC WAY
I HOLD ON TIGHT 

I PULL ON THE REINS
AND I AND EVERYTHING AROUND ME 
SEEMS TO COME TO A HALT
EXCEPT THE WORLD 
WHICH SEEMS TO BE OUT OF CONTROL
AND MOVES ON 


Details | Dramatic Verse | |

Poor horse

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Horses that lose races
Are turned into glue


Details | Narrative | |

I'M NOT RIDING SIR

While I was drinking in the Vic' 
Out Goondiwindi way, 
This burnt out ringer on his horse 
Reined in and said, "G’day!" 
 
We'd all been playing 301, 
So asked could he join in. 
"Sure thing old mate!" we all agreed, 
Which brought a toothless grin. 
 
"The name is Paddy Mellon boys ... 
I'll have a pot please love ... 
I feel I'm on a winning streak 
Or there’s no God above." 
 
He sat there perched upon his stool  
Between the pub's doorway, 
And held the reins of his old horse, 
Which sensed he planned to stay. 
 
The pots went down and time flashed by, 
He won near ev'ry game, 
But Paddy's knees were bowing fast, 
His aim a bit the same. 
 
By late that 'arve the wobbly boot 
Had taken full control, 
Old Paddy’s winning streak had gone 
And Nick had claimed his soul. 
 
Poor Paddy's darts they missed their mark, 
The grog had soaked his brains, 
But Paddy he just blamed the horse. 
"Stop pulling on the reins!" The boys in blue had called in too 
And warned him there and then, 
"We catching you riding that horse drunk 
You'll see a cell ag'en." 
 
Old Paddy broke and out of luck 
Resigned to riding off 
And as he rode into the night 
He gave a smoker's cough. 
 
He'd only gone a block or two 
When who should drive on past. 
None other than the boys in blue, 
Who turned around real fast. 
 
But Paddy though had seen them too 
And instinct then took hold. 
He jumped behind the saddle quick, 
His grin was brazen, bold. 
 
The constable looked up at him,  
He'd teach this ringer what. 
"We told you not to ride that horse, 
You poor old drunken sot!" 
 
But Paddy said, "You've got it wrong, 
I am not riding Sir. 
You see on this old horse my friend 
I'm just a passenger!" 
 



Details | Limerick | |

MY JENNY HORSE

Now I think I have to concede
My Jenny horse eats too much feed,
Loves her chaff, loves fresh grass,
But through the barn door she can't pass,
Clearly a case of food stampede..


Details | Free verse | |

Caligula

Caligula,boss of the roman empire
he and his horse Incitatus
they ruled with sword and searing fire
his horse was truly audacious

hanging out at the local bar
Incitatus and Caligula gloats
parting never very far
drinking beer and eating oats

Toast to feats and daring raids
on the Gaules of olden France
they teased the nearly naked maids
and tipped them all to dance

the girls would scream with pain
when Incitatus stomped their toes
Caligula ordered a round again
to salute themselves  heros

at two oclock they close the moats
the castle was very far
with too much beer and many oats
they left the local bar!



Details | Prose Poetry | |

Trojan Horse

Black and white, in a line

Some are heavy, some are fine

Changing, creeping, cunning

Smoothly, quickly, running

Some are found, some are not

Isn't safe- destroy the lot

 

Poem written about a manual DOS scan to find Trojan virus ;)

 
My  brain is literally just full of poetry. I mean who the hell writes a poem about a Trojan while their computer is scanning?? Me.


Details | I do not know? | |

HORSE SENSE

Steer clear of the sleeping crocodile. 
Never clasp a viper to your breast.  
Don't trust that grinning tiger. 
Tonight, when you lie down to rest.

Do not guide a pilgrim's footsteps, 
If you do not know the way.
Don't coach the kids in Little League,
If you don't know how to play

Do not prune a dead branch from a tree, 
When you're standing on that limb
Don't give your hand to a drowning man,
If you don't know how to swim.


Details | Rhyme | |

I'm not a horse

People think that I'm a horse because of my ugly horse face.
When I go the track, everybody thinks that I'm there to race.
I look so much like a horse that people put a feed bag on my head.
When they watch reruns on television, they think that I was Mister Ed.
When I got sick, somebody called a vet instead of a doctor.
When she put her thermometer in my butt, I socked her.
People think that I have the mange because I have no coat.
When people buy me food, the idiots buy alfalfa and oats.
When I try to play golf, they say that animals aren't allowed on the course.
I'm getting sick and tired of telling people that I'm a man, not a damn horse!

(This is a fictional poem.)


Details | Light Poetry | |

A Horse On The Highway

A horse on the highway
is worse than a bee in
my pants on a
hot day.

wrote 8-8-08


Details | Light Poetry | |

Non-sense

The first time that I was serious
“I would be a good boy now”
My mom said “Non-sense! You never can
Go out and get yourself a sun-tan”

I left that idea for ever
My mom still repents for being so clever!!

And then I was genuine when I said
“From tomorrow I will start studying”
 My esteemed teacher said “Non-sense!
Oh you, I know you are joking”

I gave up studying all together
My teacher still wonders why I took her so seriously rather!!

I was adamant when I followed my aim
“I just want to become that”
My father got in between “Non-sense!
For you its better never than late”

So I gave up doing anything at all
He is still sorry for being the reason of my fall!!

I was darn sure when I said
“That’s the horse that will win the race”
My wealthy uncle quipped “Non-sense!
Such waste decisions, tragedy you will face”

Unfortunately that horse went for the kill
And, I of course, was thrown out of his will!!

I was confident when I said
“It’s you whom I would love to marry, cool”
But my sweetheart said “Non-sense!
I just wanted you to pay the bill, you fool”

Sadly enough, her husband died in a year
She still repents – I would have lived longer without fear!!

I knew it when I declared
“It’s going to be a daughter”
But my mother-in-law shouted “Non-sense!
It’s a son who will bring laughter”

But when Angela was born to see
She came with a foot-ball “She would have enjoyed being a male like me!!”

On Angela’s marriage I said
“It’s definitely not a good match”
Angela scolded me “Non-sense dad!
He is a pass-out from a Harvard batch”

He spent all his life in his office
My dear girl wondered if life can get that rubbish!!

On the day the doctors declared me sick
“I will no longer live, Kristy, that’s fate”
All my friends gasped “Non-sense!
For God’s sake, don’t tell that”

The day I died, slow and brave
No one followed my wife to the grave!!

Fantastically as I climbed the slopes of heaven
“Oh! What a busy life was it!!”
God cheerfully said “Non-sense!
You were a moron without wit”

But when I started doing things in heaven
Even He admitted “If this is how you work in mirth,
Thank God!! (oops) you did nothing on earth!!”


Details | Light Poetry | |

' The Highland Horse (Named Uisge Beatha')

‘ The Highland Horse … Named Uisge Beatha’ ’

Hie’  Away, Hie’  Away
O’er Heather and Gorse
Strode A Magnificent Bay
The Highland Horse …

In the Cold Scottish – Air
On His Back, Kilt – Clad
By Loch and Highlands There
Rode an Aged–Tartan-Plaid

… Tied on a Back Braid
Long as the Russet – Tail and Mane
Were Bagpipes and a Blade
Bouncing as The Highlander Came

Proud, Scottish Warrior
Laird, of His Clan
Racing to His Sweet Moira
A-Riding and Raiding The Highlands …

… Hie’ Away Laddie
Hie’ Away Lass
The Highland Horse, Uisge Beatha’,
He’s Galloping Fast

Hie’ Away Laddie
Hie’ Away Lass
To Bar His Way is Risky
So Please Let Him Pass …

… In The Cold, Scotland Air …
Lilts The Tenderest-Low Brogue
… as down on Naked Knee
… The Highlander Proposed …

… Hie’ Away Laddie
Hie’ Away Lass
The Highland Horse, Uisge Beatha’
… He’s Galloping Fast

Hie’ Away Laddie
Hie’ Away Lass
Here Comes ‘The Whisky’ 
now Pour Me A Glass …

Hie’ Away Laddie
Hie’ Away Lass
The Bottle is Empty …
… but I Still Got The Flask …

Hie’ Away, Laddie and Lass

For:  ‘ The Fraser ‘ 
he!he!he – show me your 
Scotland, Highlander

‘ The MoonBee ‘