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Horse Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Horse

These Horse Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Horse. These are the best examples of Horse Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Couplet |

Horse From Mars

HORSE FROM MARS

It came from the sky, a gray silver stallion.
I looked up high, and I have also seen a dragon.

With so many things in this universe.
I'm on stand-by with a camera in my purse. 

Who would have known I'd be the first to spot a PEGASUS.
The town folks wave hi every time I walk my hippopotamus.

I enjoy showing everyone, my pictures of a flying horse.
I don't see why they call a DOCTOR every time I call the TASK FORCE

I think they are jealous over all the things I've seen.
They act all crazy since I sighted a LEPRECHAUN when I was fourteen.

No one ever believed me when I saw an army of dragonflies.
They have a name for me "the boy who See's too much in the skies!"

I don't know why they can't see what I see.
For all I know they are all experiments under Alien Technology.

They don't believe me how I got this magic MEDALLION.
It was a friendly gift from the silver stallion.

I also have many pictures of a  UNICORN.
We became best-friends when he gave me a piece of its magic horn.

We sat together while he drank from the lake.
We enjoyed talking, --talking about how U.F.O.'s are fake.

Why can't they see? The day I fell off a boat, I got rescued by a MERMAID!
Who would have known a mermaid swim around with first-aid.

I also remember the day I followed a LEPRECHAUNS.
We were playing under the rainbow having so much fun.

When I told my doctor about all the things I've seen.
He locked me in a DUNGEON, thinking I was the ALIEN QUEEN.

I begged and I told him I don't believe in any type of alien.
Too bad the master of this dungeon came from another region.

In a way he looks like that one SILVER STALLION from Mars.
The first creature I'd seen the day I fell off the monkey bars.

I have this picture of this horse of course.
JUST help me out of this white-jacket!!! ;-)
If you want to see the coolest picture of a flying horse. 

   ~SKAT~
       &
(A small collaboration with: B-Boy)

re-post for ~FUNNY CONTEST


Details | Rhyme |

Three Hundred And Fifty Horses

There was a man who had a horse
Means of friendship and transportation of course
Everywhere the man did go horse was there for show
This horse began old to grow

To the used car lot the man did go
Selecting a car with many horses you know
Not knowing it was a lemon he bought
Now on the car he constantly sought

Parts to replace what would not go and
On one side the man would stand
Peering into the broken car with plan
On a stump on the other side

The horse would stand trying to guide
His friend on where the problem did lie
Also he was studying the working parts
Trying to figure out how all those horses fit inside


Details | Free verse |

The Empty Saddle

They formed a posse and it was loaded

Three experienced  at tracking

And their guide

He was a one-legged kangaroo

No one dared to waltz with him

Even Matilda kept clear

The heat  was unbearable

Australia

And no one liked bank robbers

Crossing upstream the three rode through rapids

One horse was bitten by a bee

It startled him and reared

Throwing the third rider into the rapids

One scream and carried downstream

The other two rode the banks and the rapid

And their one legged kangaroo hopped

One hop forward but always angles

They came to a suddenly quiet pool

They saw a hat that was clear

The horse whinnied and a single tear

The kangaroo was exhausted and thought of a new line of work

His master lay face down and floated 

The three horses gazed at the floater

And the two men followed their  lead

And what about the bank robbers

They had a pint



A Lil' Bit of Aus... Free Poetry Contest
Sponsor	Tracie ~*~ Indigo Dreamweaver  


Details | Acrostic |

my bet

I bet on a horse and it won
50 quid is not a huge sum
So I bet again and still won 
But 100 quid is still a small sum
So I bet again and guess what?
Yes, I won
But 300 quid is still not a big sum
So you know what I did? Yes u do
I bet again and yes I won
But 500 quid is not a big sum,
So I decided to go to the zoo 
to buy a gorilla who had flu
I got him cheap, but he was big, 
bigger then my 500 sum
I bet  he could swim, jump, play 
polo and clean out a sump
He did all this with much glee, but I 
am still not rich you see
My poorly gorilla costs me a lot, the 
vets are an expensive lot
So my 500 quids are no more, and 
my gorilla looks sad even more.
So I sold my pet to my vet, cus he 
wanted him as a pet
Now I have 500 to bet, and yes on a 
horse. I bet
My horse was called gorilla in the 
mist
Gosh what a fantastic twist.
Surely my horse should win this 
race, and yes he did, at a casual gait.
Now I have 1000 quid to my name, 
so back to the zoo, for some other 
game.
I brought a giraffe, with my stake, 
he had a long neck and he smelled 
great
But my story ends here as my Dr 
appeared.
Come on he said to me, what have 
written on your pad?
Wow said my Dr that’s just great, 
now time for your medication date!


Details | Free verse |

My True Beauty

Eyes brown
Knowing intelligent
Brunette hair
Following behind 
As you run
Gentle loving
Enjoying others

Legs and hips
Most beautiful 
I've seen
Torso
Michaelangelo
Could sculpt

You turn around
Well shaped rear
Tail swishing 

To flick
Away the
Flies


Details | Couplet |

THIS IS HOW LIFE FEELS WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE

THIS IS HOW LIFE FEELS WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE

I have a general philosophical  precept
Life is in general a bowl of cherries except 
When someone stabs me in the back who didn’t oughta
From a completely unexpected quarter
I mean it’s ok if some dude whom I don’t like or trust
Has a go at me and feels he must
But if my wife tells me I continually bug her with my fidgets 
And then she  runs off with a team of one-legged circus midgets
Or my kids sell their hand-bound volumes of my poems
To buy a ton of horse manure to mix with the garden loams
And even the cat turns down my offer of warm milk
To go next door and sleep on sheets of silk
Or if a poetry contest excludes me simply because my name 
Is unacceptable, maybe because I am black, or lacking in fame, 
Or because I’m Methodist, and  gay, and Republican, and from  East Lansing,
Then I say to myself, well  here’s the thing:
If, along with my poem entry, I’ve  slipped in fifty bucks,
Well then  how can I be excluded?  I mean shucks  -
Rules is rules but when I’ve already paid to be in the winners’ list
I feel I have the right,  and  I just gotta insist,  
Cos midgets and fidgets don’t amount to squat
And sheets of silk or loads of horse manure is a lot
But  my name’s my pride and joy and I am proud to add it
(But I fear to do it again in this contest or I’ve had it),
So in this contest I will remain anonymous
Though I guess the details writ here are just about synonymous 
With a name  I do not dare speak  - at risk of exclusion
But I’m pretty sure this extra fifty bucks will lessen the confusion.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Written  - with great affection -  for
Nancy Jones's   Contest 	"This is how life feels when you get to be my age..."


Details | Narrative |

Famous Boots

As a little girl she loved western boots

Loved to pretend she was riding a giant horse

Pictures were all over the home of her and the white boots

When she got a little older she finally rode a real horse with laughter

Her parents bought her a horse when she was ten and took many pictures

She wore her boots and that horse as well

She fed the horse apples,carrots and peppermints

The horse would chomp the apple and carrots but put the peppermints in his cheek

He sucked on that candy and the drool was red

She would wear her battered boots to school and the horse wore the drool

When she was eighteen the horse died but the boots didn't

They were bigger now and polished in case the boys called

She bought a new horse but wore the old boots

The horse didn't know they were old and the boots were shined

Her friends were all fashionable but the boots were hers

They carried her with marriage,babies and through her divorce

The heels wore down like her marriage but she didn't and the new horse loved peppermints too

Marriages wear as do people but those famous boots can be re shod

And she was older and forgetful and the horse died

But when she put those boots on  she was ten and galloping

And she would chomp an apple or carrot and suck on a peppermint 

And the drool on her famous boots


To my dear friend and her horse who loved peppermints


Details | Rhyme |

Thoughts by a Horse Owner

Thoughts by a Horse Owner

A farmer milks a cow for all it’s worth …but
    a horse milks a farmer for all he’s worth!

Horses are an expensive proposition to say the least.
Try lavishing your love on another beast.
When you look upon a star and make a wish,
much cheaper to try for a goldfish.
But if you can’t afford it
when your dream comes true,
just flush it down the loo.
Or if you’re into recycling, eat the little guy…
And for crying out loud,
quit wishing towards the sky!


Answer to Doris Culverhouse’s invite for a silly poem.
There you go Doris! : )     ...(but I mean it!)


Details | Burlesque |

telling the truth

Telling of Truths 
A brown horse galloped across a snowy field at the end 
of the pasture a fence, it jumped over and continued its 
crazy gallop into the woods only came to a shuddering 
halt when it saw a moose.  Steaming nostrils, the moose
 charged, horse fled deeper into the woods. Where it met 
a forest troll who took it into his cave and gave the horse
a bucket of hot chocolate to drink. Since the snow deep 
and tiring to sink into when walking, the troll also fitted 
the horse with snow shoes; also, the troll had no need of 
a horse led it back to its field. When the farmer came to 
fetch his horse and saw the snowshoes, he had a nervous 
breakdown and sent away to an asylum, where doctors 
tried to convince him it was all in his mind. But the farmer 
would have none of it. So he is still there and they will not
release him until he agrees with them that a horse wears 
iron shoes and not snowshoes.


Details | Rhyme |

Horsemanship

"Our horses are well-trained and subdued!", blared the stable sign!
That made a lot of horse-sense to me and suited me just fine.
I'm not an equestrian and had never ridden a horse before.
"Not to worry", said he, "you'll soon establish a fine rapport!"

I paid the price agreed and he produced an elegant steed.
Says he, "Why, he's so tame that little kids ride 'im, yes indeed!"
His name was 'Killer' which aroused in me some suspicion,
But I set that aside anxious to get on with my expedition!

I approached the beast with not a little apprehension.
He stood there paying me not the least bit of attention,
'Til I put my foot in the stirrup then he turned his head and stared,
Glared, stomped and snorted with his nostrils fully flared!

At last I managed to climb upon the well-worn western saddle.
The guy slapped Killer's rump and yelled, "Now, y'all skedaddle!"
Off we galloped like a bat out of you know where,
Me holding on with all my might proffering a hasty prayer!

I've flown upside down in planes, done loops and other gyrations,
But that cayuse gave me the wildest ride despite my supplications!
Back at the stable I straightened my back with a visible wince,
And fellers I'm here to tell you, I ain't rode another horse since!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


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