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Funny Beach Poems | Funny Poems About Beach

These Funny Beach poems are examples of Funny poems about Beach. These are the best examples of Funny Beach poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

Fun in the Sun

Flesh on show and sun tan lotion
bodies laid on towels or sun lounges 
By the ocean
Salty air wind blown hair
Music streaming from the near by fair
Baby screaming nappies full
Cool guys looking for babes on the pull
Sun shades and floppy hats
Grown men playing cricket with ball and bats 
Sand castles and buckets and spades
Candy floss and lemonade
Father With binoculars pretending to look out to sea
Or read a newspaper but really looking at the bathing beauties
Bikinis and manknies G strings tight where the sun don't shine
Hot dogs and hamburgers the popping of corks from bottles of wine
Hairy legs and wrinkled skin
child almost drowning couldn't swim
Muscle bound Life guards with muscles to impress
Granma lost her false teeth
Dropped between her breasts
Ice creams and summer dreams
Young child peeing in the sea
Among the swimmers splashing about with glee
People playing beach ball and football
Mother calls come on all it's time for tea
Large Busty woman running like jelly on a plate
Wobble wobble
And nearly starting an earthquake
Sand between your toes
Sun burn on your nose
Sweaty arm pits sweaty bums
Toffee apples and bleeding gums
Sea gulls flying screeching high above
Clear blue sky pure white dove
Watching the frothy waves stretch upon the shore
Watching the horizon and tiny boats 10 miles away or more
Dogs running here and there
Sweets being passed around to share
Crabs and shrimps and other critters in a rocky pool
Children with fishing nets and jars to take them back to school
Para gliders pulled by speed boats high in the sky
Oh why do people want to risk life
As they could die
Postcards to write people on there bikes
The smell of fish and chips
Children with jam around their lips
Couples walking hand in hand barefoot on warm sand
Treasured memories and photo's to cherish
Suitcases packed feeling unwound and relaxed
Can't wait until next year when they come back.


Peter Dome.copyright.2013. July.


Details | Free verse | |

KEEP YOU POSTED

KEEP YOU POSTED

Getting back on my feet again
Show me the end, show me the end
Give me a road to follow
I will throw you a passage or two

Get yourself right, get out my face
I need a new way, I need a new way
An easy way to start my day
All though I can't get enough of you 
There are times you are in my way

Our hearts don't beat as one
Call me a fool,
I set my foot down 
I keep you as my friends, no rules

Tomorrow will be another day
Do not give in to me
We are still both fish in the sea
Stuffy stuff, you got me at suffocate 
We do not relate
Still I love you

How else can this be fetched out
If I reel you in, sometimes I need you my friend
Stop putting yourself in doubt
This has no end

Don't get yourself all worked out
It will be me and you, a sweet walk on the beach
I see nothing wrong in deceiving you
I'm so funny, I'll have you sticking around like a leech

How many times do I have to push and shove
My feeling are troubled, but in love
Until then my love, 
I will keep you posted

By;PD


Details | Couplet | |

A Summer Couplet

Waves are rolling kids laugh silly
Off my feet what fun oh dilly

For Andrea's Contest


Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever Read

Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!


~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby

They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" -  how mean!!~~~

Piggy asks him if
There are other people on 
The island with 'em

He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear - 
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??

You'll see...

Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!



Details | Rhyme | |

A SUMMER DAY WITH GRANNY

It happened so many years ago
I remember it like today
The sun was hot you had to know
When Granny went swimming I say

Now Granny's eyes had a twinkle
She was loved by one and all
Not ashamed of any wrinkle
Trouble walking since her fall

So the two o us we helped her
Walk into the water so blue
And as we mad the water stir
What would happen no one knew

Now Granny was a show off
She had a trick or two
We stood back just far enough
To see what she can do

Granny did a perfect front roll
In water never the less
When up she came it took a toll
She was in a great big mess

For Granny had no teth at all
She lost them with her trick
The grand kids laughed they had to crawl
While the adults were queasy and sick

Diving and diving we kept it up
We had to find those teeth
A Grand Kid using a discarded cup
Found those teeth in water beneath

Now as I walk that beach today
Those memories keep coming
Of the day that Granny lost her teeth
And the fun we had in sunning

True story. We love and miss Granny.
June 8th, 2013.


Details | Limerick | |

When Bad Things Happen to Good People

 In the cold sea my pants fell down and sunk,

 And when I came out part of me had shrunk:

  The girls all pointed as I did hurtle

  And joked "look, a frightened turtle!"

 Hey! C'mon, that's no turtle, that's my junk!


                    --------------

        Inspired by a Seinfeld episode.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Freckle Head Sam

I know a seagull named freckle head Sam,
 he plays on the beach in the hot sand.
Likes Wildwood and Cape May too,
 because there's always something to do.
Eats curly fries right from your hand,
 that dirty seagulll freckle head Sam.
Pretzels, popcorn, and ice cream too,
 he eats everything you know it's true.
So beware if your out on the beach,
 keep your food out of reach.
For freckle head Sam is always close by,
 ready to swoop down from the sky.

JSergi


Details | Quatrain | |

THE BEACH ENTERTAINER

Miles of broken, sunbaked seashells,
resembling pieces of porcelain of lesser value,
lying across a populous beach subdued by misty blue,
as hungry sea-gulls pounce the fiddler crabs..



The beach entertainer draws huge crowds;
singing funny songs and making comic skits
by spicing up his unique modus operandi,
and modestly mocking his modus vivendi...


He has never made lots of money,
but settles for dollar bills to earn their sympathy;
dressed in tight and colorful ministrel's attire,
he amuses the public with his monkey-shine...



And he pulls out his fiddler and the crowds go wild,
awakening, by its high-pitched sound, a dope fiend,
who has built a shack in this unsafe place always threatened by the blowing sand;
He puts on his dirty sunglasses and disappears in the groovy sunshine...



The beach entertainer follows him, leaving everyone behind, 
saying," Sorry, brother...I didn't mean to wake you up, the bum turns around with sad eyes
and exclaims, " Music doesn't fill an empty and aching belly...and cheer up a feeble mind! "
" Here's all I got...take it and get something to eat!" The beach entertainer whispers.

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci