Tell me that this fear is just paranoia in my mind,
we're not straining, we're not struggling,
we're not sinking, we're just fine.
I'm not perfect my dearest, but damn have I tried,
and I'll try harder but I know I'll have the same results every time.
Do you want me all the ways that I am?
With all the struggles and the tears and the clinging to your hand.
I fear your getting further and Im left on the shore to stand,
watching you in the distance with a bullet in my hand.
Tell me all this worry, its just clutter in my mind,
tell me not to worry that we're doing just fine.
Cause Im scared to run you off and I feel Im falling deep.
And Im so frightened of these thoughts that its getting hard to sleep.
All I know is that the heart wants what it desires,
because of you the match inside has turned into a fire.
And I feel the broken glass thats sticking from my skin,
Wondering if you'll remove the pain or push it back in.
My hearts frantic wondering if you feel the same,
pleading and begging for more than just a saying,
but to feel and to see that im not alone,
with being in this love thats overwhelming.
Once I told you that we didnt have a spark,
but you were lighting up and I was sitting in the dark.
And this fire, this blaze its wrapped in desire.
Im terrified to lose you, I think I might die or,
maybe disappear from all the pieces falling out,
im going crazy but when i open my mouth, nothing comes out,
and I cant explain to you why I just need to hold you close,
why every time you leave Im scared to let you go,
why these tears are building up behind my eyes,
all I know is that the heart wants what it desires
and it desires to be your wife.
So tell me in my panic, that your words are true,
tell my my dearest what I mean to you,
tell me that this paranoia is all within my mind
we're not struggling, we're not sinking tell me we're just fine
There are times we are left to cope
With situations that drain our hope
Leaving us full of despair
At how some people just don't care
About the evil that they do
To good people like all of you
We are left to somehow face
That in mankind there is disgrace
And those of us left alive
Must find away to survive
As you pick up the pieces of your life
Without your mother, father, husband or wife
And some of you God forbid
Without the love of your kids
We must band together with a brotherhood
Show that in this world there is some good
Because we are together in this deal
We try to help each other heal
We seek in each other good advice
And offer each other sacrifice
We hold each other in prayer and song
As we continue to re-build the wrong
Because what else in the world can we do
Except let the light of good shine through
The evil darkness and despair
Of a catastrophic lack of care
We want you to know you are not alone
Think of America as a giant cone
And all of us are funneling through
Our prayers and hopes to all of you
Posted for Nathan's 9-11 contest
As our world spins into this blatant madness
Family units like dead leaves, fading fast!
Our children lost, good values tossed
Idols abound, keeps us in a choke!
Excesses, extreme shape our lives
The Golden Rule, now a corny joke!
A simple guide to can heal our earth-disregarded
Yet, in spite of all these,
God will have the final say
When wars and storms sweep across our earth
Leaders ignore the hour at hand
Perhaps, the last to stand as men
To right the wrongs of history past
And re enact laws to seal the cracks!
Potent winds arising, already on track
Remember, love for man and nature will heal this earth
Yes, I believe, in spite of all these,
My God will have the final say
So let the politicians, argue, fight and scheme
Let the liars, deceivers, play their games!”
Let death merchants chant their evil anthem
“It’s not a child, but a piece of flesh”!
While the years like pages torn from a book
All blowing away like dust in the wind
Gone forever beyond eternity's veil!
'Too simplistic', some claim, that love's the remedy
Yet, in spite of all these, I will fear no end, for
My God will have the final say!
Blue sky turning cobalt
Black cloak in the wind
A skeletal shape
Looking for the innocents sins
In frantic flight
Their master they chase
Scythe in swipe
Cutting and swathing
All before him
The sands of time
Around his waist
In timely pursuit
His deathly taste
Don't fear the Reaper
For the innocents with no sins
Will rise in their might
And the cleansing begins
The previously fallen
Unification of right
As they follow their faith
Cobalt to sky blue
The heavens lights in shine
Don't fear the Reaper
Follow the divine
I never talk to you as much as I should
Just to say thank you for all of your gifts
I take for granted all that you’ve given to me
Sometimes blaming you for all I have missed
And when you come to me I shy away
Feigning I can’t see you or hear you
But no matter where I look you’re around me
In every vivid color and shape of movement
You voice beckoning in all the worldly sounds
I even try to hide myself away from you
Still you find me wherever I go without effort
Cruel and hard or ignorant and fleeting
I’ve been both and you lovingly embrace me
Cursing you at the losses washed upon me
Your hand generously gives without prejudice
Gluttonously taking much more than my fill
When I look back you’ve again filled my cup
All the mistakes I have made and will make
Many of them knowingly and willingly
Still you offer all of your forgiveness
If only I will ask as a son should his father
I’ve broken so many of your rules a multitude of times
Deceiving myself believing you wouldn’t notice
Still you offer me everything you have
When I lay in the dark at night and examine
I hope and fear you and I doubt and pray
I hope you can hear me through all the other voices
Although I fear you don’t listen to me anymore
I force myself to doubt your existence
Knowing the truth unwilling to admit to it
I pray…Dear God…Can you hear me?
Daddy will you hold me and
Tell me I’ll be okay?
Will you whisper in my ear
All the things you used to say
Will you squeeze me tight,
And call me your little girl?
Daddy will you make me laugh
And still give me the world?
Daddy just hold me close,
Please never let me drop
Keep me under your wing,
And please never ever stop
Daddy please I’m hurt
Don’t you see me lying here
Come back and make it all okay
Please come chase away this fear
Daddy hold me close to you
I want to feel your heart
Say you’ll never ever let me go
And never say we’ll part
Tears streaming down my face
Daddy please come here
I need you more than ever now
Daddy please just hold me near
Hold me tightly in your arms
I’m begging, “please don’t let go”
I still need you Daddy
I just thought you’d like to know
Daddy please I want you
Can’t you see me cryin’?
Look daddy way down here
Your little girl is dyin’
Daddy please I’m falling now
Wont you hold me tighter?
This monster is pulling me down
Please make this burden lighter
Daddy please come help me
Can’t you hear me screaming?
Don’t leave me here now
With my tears still falling, streaming
Why don’t you look at me?
Daddy please I’m scared
You saved all the other ones
Why wont MY soul be spared
Daddy please come back
In my heart I miss you
Just comfort me Daddy please
With all the things you used too
Daddy please I miss you
And I’m at my last resort
I’m sorry, but I can’t go on
This is my sad report
Your little girl is missing
Please tell me that you see.
Why don’t you put to rest,
This pain that’s running through me
All I want is you Daddy
So please come just take me home
All I want is you Daddy
I’m so tired of being alone
Daddy why won’t you look at me
Why don’t you care?
Why did you kiss the rest?
But me you did not dare
Daddy hold me close and
Call me your little girl
Tell me it will be okay and
That you’ll still give me the world
Tell me that you love me
Just tell me that you do
And whisper in my ear
All the things you used to
Daddy please hold me closer
I’m starting to slip through
Just please don’t let me go
I can’t do all this without you
Look into my eyes and
Tell me what you see
Tell me that you care and
Still want to set me free
Daddy will you hold me
And catch all of my tears
Daddy will you help me and
Chase all of my fears
Let's live in a fairytale,
you can chase away the dragons,
who's smoke breathes to life,
the nightmares in my dreams.
I can be your Princess,
You can hold me in your arms,
Like a Knight in shinning armor,
And hush away my screams.
No more wasted time,
with smoke and mirrors,
You're not a Court Jester,
lets speak the truth.
Will you say a sweet goodbye,
Or will you not shed a tear from your eye,
There's a dagger in my heart,
The icy pain is all I need for proof.
Diamond teardrops from my eyes,
Hurry dear, they say you must be quick,
To capture each before they dry,
The tears of when a Gypsy cries.
Are you, nothing more than a collector,
Do I hold no beauty in beggers clothes,
Lets face reality my love, you are no knight,
And neither a Prince if truth is to be told.
And I am no Princess,
Did I once have you fooled?
Though once we lived as such,
Our love has ever cooled.
Must I break through,
Past the freezing layers of your heart,
To see if the thought still pains you,
Of us being forever apart?
I must open my eyes,
And live in the truth,
That dragons do not exist,
And are just fiction of the soused.
You will not ever save me,
from their tongues of flame,
But burn me with your own,
And make me feel my shame.
You will not shield me,
from poisened arrows that fall,
but with the anger in your eyes,
I'll feel as if they've broken through the castle walls.
I was once, the Juliet,
That led you to your death,
Venom rampent through your veins,
Revenge seems to be your quest.
At each word you say,
It feels as though I'll die,
My heart breaks and shatters,
And you show no concern of why.
And yet at night you pull me close,
Whispering sweet nectar to me,
That makes me wonder,
Must we still live in their reality?
Is there hope left for our fairytale,
To have a happy end?
Love like a fairytale, or Harsh Reality,
No time left to pretend, I must know the end.
While you sleep I tell you all of the things I keep inside throughout day.
Now that you can hear but not listen I find them much easier to say.
My hopes, my dreams, my fears, and everything in between
Your subconscious hears so keen, or so it seems.
My tongue is soft; I speak so sweetly
Knowing your reaction will never greet me.
Tonight will be different in what I want you to know.
It has everything to do with what I can’t help but show.
I hold no claim to any religion but you’ve given me a place for my faith.
Somewhere it will never stale or lose its lavish taste.
You’ve shown me something I can see, touch, and feel,
And so before it I choose to kneel.
I know I don’t say it but I miss you every day.
Sitting, thinking of the perfect words to be my choice,
Yet when you call I can’t find any of the right words to say.
I’m just happy to finally hear your voice.
Even just a moment is enough to sooth my heavy heart;
Fearing the ends of conversations knowing we’ll have to part.
I’ll never be too far from you, always within arm’s reach,
And in your days of darkness I’ll be the light that you will seek.
I’ll never let you leave too far from me, I’ll stay close behind you in this world;
Secretly protecting what is mine, you will always be my girl.
I only want the best for you so the best of me I will employ.
Faithfully yours, I will always be your boy.
I close my eyes and kiss your soft sweet lips
And see the very best of you in loving bliss.
I see past the physical which makes you attractive
And focus on the things I can’t see in which I’m attracted.
Your thoughts I’d love to hear them all.
Of the things you speak disinterest never makes its call.
My day will come, I know someday I’ll be the only one.
And you I will pursue viciously,
Because I’ve given you the greatest gift I can give, to love unconditionally.
Yes our day will come, I know someday we’ll be as one.
And you I will pursue viciously,
Because I’ve given you the greatest gift I can give… to love unconditionally.
That’s all that I can say
Let your inner voice tell you
The way to live your day
Do not be hard upon yourself
That never did no good
Just be happy, never worry
It’s foolish that one should.
Cause you’re a ‘one off’ too
No one else can play your part
Nobody can be you
It’s a lovely world we live in
Let it seep into your soul
Then when you feel at one with life
Twill get you feeling whole.
Most people call me crazy
But I love being me
I do not care what others think
I only like to be
To be this way, it is my right
A gift sent down by fate
I’m so I’m happy being me
Each day to me is great.
14 August 2013 @ 1410hrs.
BEYOND YOUR END
Look deep into yourself my friend,
if then, you need to look to me,
and deep enough to see the end,
beyond your end is where I'll be.
Into the love someday you'll see,
becoming all the things you'll know,
before your very eyes, I'll be
already where you want to go.
I'll be your long and blinding light,
of which all life is awed,
the thread that reaches through the night
in search of what is God.
And in a while, if love is right,
and hope is not just more pretend,
though you have sought what e'er you might,
'tis me you'll find, beyond your end.
And I will love your death away,
removing from your mind
what'er your death might seem to be,
with love impossible to find.
Û © RON WILSON aka vee bdosa
our elderly, sick and poor
D.C. may call the shots now
God is the equalizer
*Written in honor of John Freeman
for his contest "Sayings of Wisdom"
It begins with prayer
as I kneel
in my morning shower,
first thanking God
for all the blessings
He has given to me,
then I start
dear to me.
I think of you,
how much I love you,
and your needs,
I ask for strength and healing,
ask for forgiveness
if I have done anything
to hurt you
and tell God
how I need you.
It’s then that
the tears start to flow
as I let Him know
how very important
you are to me,
why I feel helpless many times
and am unable to help you.
As I try to speak,
my tears are coming down
like the water
in the shower,
soon I can’t even
see or speak.
All I am now
is a crying man,
wanting God to help me,
to help you, to heal you,
to show me how
to be your strong Knight,
instead of someone
just full of tears.
Even if He allows us to stay together
sometime in the future,
I know at times
I will be nothing
but a crying man.
Crying tears of Joy
when you are here,
crying tears of Woe
when you are not.
As you have been here recently
I am doing both right now
and love you too much
to ever stop completely.
My Lady Susan,
this Knight is forever yours
and will never leave your side…
may God continue
to have mercy on us both.
so many times beneath the stars
our lives are lived for fate and scars
infancy seems to abound
from everywhere it screams its sound
too loud to hear the voices true
without a sound, it comes to you
it strikes with force, a fist, a roar!
so strong a warmth you can't ignore
the vision marred by human sense
for now the journey must commence
the trials begin with fervor rise
a gaze glares straight within the eyes
so hard to suffer ends defeat
victories are ever sweet
the sky preludes the next advance
all surety, no happenstance
a place of firm and solid lore
where the light and night I wore
as symbols of forever more
no longer will I toil and chore
Poem genesis from:
by Poet Destroyer A
I do not know?
I never did the
''He loves me not....
He loves me'' game
I already knew nobody loved me
so why should I listen
to a stupid flower?
I did make wishes
after the bloom died
and it was tiny spikes of fluff
waiting to blow away
till next year.
I hated wasting my time
but I couldn't resist.
''If there's even a small hope
that this will work....
I've got to try! ''
I would find a spot
where nobody could see me
and I'd whisper
my one wish
the same wish
Thousands of dandelions
by my pleading breath.
I never told a soul
I wished to be happy
with a husband
who loves me
and kids who love me.
I wished so hard...
I never thought
O harlot of colored scarlet hath divided the spoils
The wealthy, well oiled, prophesy uncertainty
Thee measures of barley spoil not the oil or wine
heavenly leaven is unmeasured, care to take a wager
A bird in hand of human man, faith is in the bush
O little bird, swish the bush, faith is not a human wish
I will laugh at your calamities O harlot
I will turn a deaf ear to thy wails of anguish
As a queen thou has ruled unjustly
Ground the face of the poor of earnest contrite
Thy kings shall cast ashes upon their heads
And call for the mountains, “Come fall on us!”
I will loose the yoke of bondage, Love, sayeth Almighty
For it is just in my sight, I have waited for precious fruit
You have remained aloof of un-cloven hoof, relieved not poverty
Of the absolute you have not partaken, or cheweth the cud
Nor forsaken thine own way, Love commands pay...
...of the illusionary substance death of your own logical way
As I surmise all that is me strewn and cluttered,
My conscious lies casually shorn and shuttered,
For here lie the spoils of stubborn iniquity,
I shuffle and toil, floundering in frailty.
Oh what great havoc, what conscious so lewd,
Creates such traffic which now spoils the fruit,
Of truly righteous deeds committed by a scurrilous man,
Of whom I could no better know, no better understand,
For this terribly lost and forever forlorn soul,
Is none other than me shivering and sniveling so,
And as helpless as I suddenly appear to be,
I now understand the strength pride provides so easily,
For there is purpose in pride, yet none in shame,
As ambition carries us blind to who’s at blame,
And just where is the woe when the devil may care,
For we are soon found alone, our conscious left bare,
And as I embark into this desolate place,
My horrors so dark, my fears crimson in taste,
Forward I race into the perilous pit,
With none other to blame for this simple life I quit.
Silence can deceive
One's quiet to understand
Another to destroy
Looking dead at me in this smeared mirror...
a lost man
the longer I stare
this stress abuses
my conscience with a glare
a guilty reflection warns
my mind is the prison I fear
as I long to escape
from the hell I dwell in
who have I become?
what have I done right?
crossroads appear suddenly
as fog fills the mirror tonight
darkness owning the room,
prefers I suffer slow
so I proceed with speed
because it’s the only way I know
flood my life’s hard bound chapters
while this smeared mirror reflects tears
dripping from a face
which was once filled with laughter.
THE HOSPITAL FAIRYLAND
They walked together, hand in hand,
Into life’s magical fairyland.
Where there was no trouble, where there was no pain.
Where life could really, begin all over again.
Where were no men in little white coats.
Forcing you all, to stuff drugs down your throats.
Forcing you to do, what you didn’t want to.
Telling you it was all for the best, for you,
People shouting, people crying.
Most of the people talking about dying.
What is this hell, we’ve all come to?
It’s called coming off drugs, we all have It to go through.
Where will it end, what will we do?
None of us really, has a clue.
We are given more pills, we are told, we have to take.
To the men in white coats, life’s a piece of cake.
We are the prisoners, they guard the doors.
Some try to creep out, on all fours.
Into hell and back, we go for a ride.
Eventually if we’re lucky, we come out the other side.
Where we can walk, hand in hand.
Into life’s magical Fairyland.
Where there is trouble, where there is pain.
But at least we can start, living again.
She is a loving mother,
her pain is like no other.
Kids taken all at once away.
A price too steep to have to pay.
Holds her head up high,
when all she wants to do is die.
She thinks her pain is masked,
but as you see, its no easy task.
She's strong and still fights,
even when they say she has no rights.
She dreams of seeing her kids,
trying hard to keep the pain hid.
She goes to court and really fights,
only to come home alone and cry at night.
Still, she continues this uphill battle.
Her confidence, they constantly rattle.
Goes to work and tries to smile,
as her heart is breaking all the while.
Wish I was a much better sister,
who called and let her know I missed her.
I had my own tumultuous issues,
it was she who really needed the tissues.
I just had a crappy, low life man.
By her side her family should stand.
Instead they all give her grief.
Do they not see her pain will never be brief?
No, they all say they are sorry, but they're full of lies.
Didn't they know it was her LIFE in demise?
A better sister, I'll try to be.
Her back she never turned to me.
I hope she knows she's loved and cared for.
Her smile I'd like to see more.
I know that's no easy task.
But that I will still ask.
As they push her to the brink,
She's stronger than she ever thinks.
A combined effort for Kristy.....
my heart breathes its last breath
Embraces its own death
Ready to be reborn
and made anew
Can’t live a lie
Refuse to “do”
and I’ll DIE....
Focus now on why I’ll live
And never touch the sky.
I have to forget you
I have to reject you
But I will never love anyone
like I loved you.....
I heard you whisper
and you never knew it
I wiped the tears from your eyes
But you couldn’t feel it
You’re lost and you’ll never find you
And neither will I
And I’m so sorry--
but I’m NOT.
I'll attempt to reset
Try to forget
But you know, I never will.
Be my dirty little secret
My very worst-kept secret
Sweet, smooth, beautiful poison
My infernal and endless attraction
towards complete and utter self-destruction
I fell in love with the devil
And it will take one heck of an angel
To save me from the likes of you....
my dream never to come true
Oh, I’ll never forget the times
we never shared
I’ll never forget
how you were never there
Always me, the stars, and tears
And I ask you,
what kind of life is THAT?
I have to face the facts
I don’t know what happens now
but it happens without you.
The stains will always be there
the scars will never fade
But the memory of you----
it HAS to.
I could carry the torch forever
But it would only consume me
I can’t cry another tear for you
Or I’ll dry up completely
It doesn’t affect you
and you never deserved me
You’ll go on with your life, too
All, all alone
Because you’ll only ever be in love
Just another day
they often start the same
But without any warning
life can quickly go insane
Standing in front of a mirror
lights begin to blink
My son shouts "The house is on fire"
our lives are on the brink
In those next few moments
our house filled with dense smoke
Blinding the eyes from accumulated stuff
life's true values fully awoke
Doesn't matter if you have little or a lot
things eventually burn, rust, or rot
If your living to accumulate stuff
the more you have..
the more it's not enough
Standing on the street
firemen racing from everywhere
Looking intently at our house
you realize your home isn't there
Home is not brink and mortar
it's not the warehouse of stuff
Home is who you hold on to
when life seems oh so tough
Standing there together
the only possession in my hands
Is the one thing that really matters
My precious family's hands
Doesn't matter if you have little or a lot
things eventually burn, rust, or rot
If your living to accumulate stuff
the more you have..
the more it's not enough
*The words of this poem came to me holding
my family's hands and watching our house burn
Contest: Linda's #6
Poet: Dave Wood
In this centrifuge of sanctimony
Where I sip the atrophied air of my ancestors
The shipwrecked tide of my unborn children
Angels dangle from a precipice of silence
Strained by strings of a theoretical God
Sung by eyes of defiance
Which navigate the jagged epitaphs below
For that one sediment of salvation
That one moment of submission
Hoping he will see
His wonders, atrocities, his indifference
To cast a shadow of conviction
Over shivering light
Across the inlet where ivory columns crumbled
And modernity now deftly mumbles
Its fleets of fortune baptized
Nigh the bronze dust of golden millennia
Where history lies with its victims
A fugue of fossilized souls
A silent prayer remains
Why aren’t we happy?
What is it in the most of us?
We are not how we should be
We should be like a singing bird
Who boldly, in the trees
Sings his song when fear is done
His life just flows along
He only knows the dance of life
So he just sings his song.
And yet we humans live our lives
Enfolded in our fears
Glorifying in the sad
And making this quite clear
As we always speak of doom and gloom
And watch it on TV
And always live our lives in fear
Is this the way it should be?
If only each would take a look
And see just what we be
We never see the flowers grow
Or let our hearts be free
Maybe it’s time to see the truth
Of what this life could be
If we look at life without the fear
And live with mystery.
6 August 2013 @ 1908hrs.
To stand ever resolute
Amongst perpetual ambiguity
That slowly expends me
When I am not vigilant
If I have firmly decided
To walk that razors edge
Where the vile assail me
Allow me the shield
Of His name
Where I will ever feel