Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

Death Suicide Poems | Death Poems About Suicide

These Death Suicide poems are examples of Death poems about Suicide. These are the best examples of Death Suicide poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

If you don't find the poem you want here, try our incredible, super duper, all-knowing, advanced poem search engine.

Details | Rhyme | |

The Real Me

I'm not the person you think you see
'Cause I've got demons inside of me
I may have a smile on my lips
But I have cuts on my wrists and hips
You see I'm damaged, fractured, and broke
I'm surprised I still have hope
No one loves a broken girl
Especially not in this big bad world,
I'm too far gone and you can't save me now
So I will just keep falling down, down, down
Into the depths of my own demise
But it's nothing new, not a surprise,
These demons here hate me so
Sometimes I think I should just go
'Cause I welcome death with open arms
Death looks nice, it has so much charm,
Nobody here loves me anymore
And life is such a dastardly chore
They want me gone, I can tell so much
And someone told me to never trust
So now I know everyone lies
This is what many people need to realize,
But people will always trust
'Til that trust turns to dust
And take a shot in the dark
Until they are torn apart,
And now maybe you see 
Why I have demons haunting me
But if you do not
Then you don't know the battles I've fought
And don't judge me at all
Because I will just continue to fall


Details | Haiku | |

R-I-P -----ROBIN WILLIAMS




Spin off Happy Days Na-Nu Na-Nu Shaz-Bot man Planet Ork Mork fly!
© PoeTTreeZ Publishing


Details | Rhyme | |

Don't ask me to apologize

Don't ask me to apologize for being the monster inside
I refuse to set any agony i have aside
Don't ask me to torch out the fuse i have growing
There is so much torment behind this face without anyone knowing
Don't ask me to unmask this demon i enshrine deep in the dark
It fuels my spirit, whats left of me creating a tiny spark
Don't ask me to let go of the past
All the exploitation has been passed
Don't ask me to neglect the flashbacks you put into my head
So many wounds on my arms from the times you made me bled
Don't ask me to excuse all the sin you created
Cause my heart is buried distant enough it has to be gated
Don't ask me to uncoil and live a little
For how many times you beat me till my bones became brittle
Don't ask me to not dread all of this
I'd have to count the times of deaths i'd nearly miss
You've made me the monster
now don't ask me to apologize


Details | Rhyme | |

Depression Kills

Many people have no clue 
Of the hell I go through
If they only knew
The pain and agony, too

Why do I say depression kills, age 14,
Twenty times I have tried with pills
Wished I was dead at times still

My brother was depressed, too
Going to counseling he needed to do
Guilt I feel because I knew
Should of been the one to help, too

Thirty-two years it tortured my mind 
Peace I can never mind
It sometimes puts me in a bind
Can't relax and unwind

Many times the teardrops fall
Get angry and wanna hit the wall

The pain within, no longer can bear
Living with depression isn't fair
At my heart, it really tears

Unless you have depression,
Please don't say you understand, too
Because you really have no clue


8/21/14


Details | Rhyme | |

Struggle

I don't want to die,
But my mind feels old;
My body is so tired
And my heart grows cold;
Hands itch to slice--
Just the skin--just the skin,
Blood flows out as the pain seeps in.
They wanna give me pills
To treat a pain they haven't seen;
They try to cure the symptoms
Without knowing what it means,
To pick apart my brain
Without dirtying their hands,
While I drown in a sorrow
That I can't understand,
While unhelpful friends throw
Such unhelpful advice:
"Stop feeling sad!"
"Think of things that are nice!"
Meanwhile I wish
for an end to the pain. 
I don't need any pills--
Just send me a train.


Details | Rhyme | |

On The Wings Of An Angel

Today is the day I have
chosen  to die,on the wings
of an ANGEL I will fly high

I feel I could have been 
better while I was here,
but on the wings of an
ANGEL,I will have no fear.

All my life I had to put up
a fight,but on the wings
of an ANGEL I will be alright.

Things may have been better
if id'e taken time to pray,now
I am on the wings of an ANGEL
and I am going to be ok.


                   Please LORD watch over my loved one's.

                        Colleen Marie Bono



Details | Lyric | |

Dying Eyes

I have lost the will to change
Taking the path that leads to nowhere
The darkness is taking over
something i cannot repair 
If it is to be broken
Drowning in the sorrow
I cannot give in
Take the fall and run to the heavens
Im never going to bow
Im never going to break
I will not fall
I will not fade
I was made to take your breathe away
Whenever my hope is lost
Thats my chance to run for cover
Light the fuse and burn it up
I dont want to change the world
I just want to make it colder
Watching the end
With our dying eyes
Tell me where forever lies


Details | Sonnet | |

Broken

I cut to see if I feel how it's like being human,
I cut to see the pain relinquish inside,
I cut for all the memories that remain to drain down in the sewage
What symbols life runs with death in that rusty pipe.

A slash here and a slash there,
What happened in the past?
A slash here and there,
Soon the memories don't last.

Scissors, knives, razors and sharp edges
keeps a bloody smile, no more weep.
Slice and dice, trim more than the hedges
And I don't care if I go to deep.

One scar closer to a never ending dream,
I don't care if I go to deep.


Details | Free verse | |

My Hell

I fall down
deeper and deeper
into oblivion
nothing
only darkness.
the sounds of evil
dripping into my ears
slithering farther
and sliding down into me
filling me with echoes.
terror courses through
my veins
into each cell
turning them against
me
they are no longer mine
they follow another
a stronger being.
icy breezes come
they whisper to me
they say I'm bad
they call me to them
the breezes dance
hug me
covering me
hiding me from the light
shielding me from hope.
falling deeper
only down
my eyes are taunted
I see people
the ones I know
love
they are hurt
hurting
by me
I have betrayed them
left them
I am hurting them
it is me
but I can't stop.
my mind is plagued
sick
new thoughts
 every second
comes a new terror
a cruel joke
all a prank.
only deeper do I fall
light is disappearing
becoming dimmer
fading fast.
all a game
for one person
the puppeteer
the ringmaster
the man in the
mask
the one who is running the show
the show that is me.
he sees me falling
he laughs
I can't see him
but he is there
everywhere
teasing my brain
taunting my senses
he hates me
he wants to hurt me.
he throws it
the knife
I feel the pain
running up my leg
showing my bones
releasing my blood
it is blue
my blood is cold
it splatters my face
sprinkling my features
dotting them with blue
the blue liquid drips
jumping onto my tongue
I taste dirt
my blood is dirt
blue is all I see
blue is all I become
I am blue
blue is me.
a distant shout
who is it?
a cry for help
surely
the sound is mangled
twisted
young
desperate
hopeless
mine
the sound is mine
I shut my mouth
but I still hear it
chilling my blue blood
ringing in my ears
shaking my breathing
jump-starting my heart
then it's over
the scream has ceased
and silence returns
sounding more deadly than ever before.
still falling
only black do I see
the evil
the monsters' playground
the demons' joyride
and someone is hungry
it wants me
my innocence
my purity
it wants to take it
it feeds on people
people like me.
weightlessness
objects hitting me
ghosts' fingers prodding me
as I fall
I fall down
down into this never-ending hole
this abyss
for eternity
restless
empty
yet full
filled with misery
my worst fears
come back
how did he know?
he knows I'm afraid
the darkness
doesn't help me see
I can't see why
how does he do this?
they cut me again
spilling my blood
oh, the blue
I don't even feel it
I am numb
the sound of me
my skin
being sliced
a quick slashing
and they are done
I am cut
my legs
my arms
my stomach
my face
my neck
I can't see my blood
but I can see how evil it must look.
the thoughts that fell
fell down with me
they too
are damned
they talk to me
they tell me what they see
they can see
blue
yes blue
my cold blood
it is everywhere
I am pale
white
I look sick they say
oh, no
they say
oh, no
they see the bottom
be ready
they say
be ready.
I fall faster still
slowing for nothing
for no one
being pulled down
the puppeteer has me
he's got my string
and he's pulling
with no sign of letting go.
now I hear a song
they all sing it
the notes are cruel
unforgiving
they bump into the others
struggling to be heard
with no set order
it is musical chaos
he yells to me
it is beautiful
and he sings along to his song
it's made for me
musical notes are played
they come up to me
they greet me
they jump
right into my cuts
surging into my blood
they search inside me
no mercy
moving faster
the drum
keeping them steady
pounds faster
picking up tempo
searching
searching
until
they found it
they found
my heart
my soul
the music does the talking
it says to hush
hush now
slow down
my heart listens
and I get sleepy
just stop
they say
just stop
the music is evil
played by the man
the man in the mask
my brains sends
a message
one final request
it says to my heart
speed up
it says
speed up, can't you see?
she is dying
it says
you must speed up!
I still fall
with no way up
letting go of hope
why dream?
dreaming of being saved
when I already know
I'll only be dropped.
I smell
something burnt
burning
oh, no
I know what
that smell
it is flesh
not mine
surely
but belongs to someone else
someone close
they too
they smell of dirt
sinners burning
dead
they are nothing to me
they are the stench
in my nose
nothing more
the smell overcomes all
all the other senses
until it becomes me
and I burn too.
even in the dark
the black
I see something
darker
blacker than black
they are shadows
they mock me
they play
they sing
they dance
they laugh
I fill with evil
hatred
a longing to hurt
hurt the ones behind it all
then
without warning
I hear him
laughing
my pain
is his pleasure
oh so dark
it's over
I'm at the bottom
laying on the cold ground
in a small ball
too weak to stand
in a pool
of dark blue blood
I hold myself tight
I can't trust
these creatures
these beasts.
he likes my weakness
he tells me I am small
I am ugly
I am worthless
I am nothing
he laughs when I cry
I thought that
maybe
just maybe
it would be better
down here
instead of up there.
it's not.
hell is not a game.
death is not an
easy way out.
do not try to visit me.
do not try to rescue me.
for I am more lost
than I hope you will
ever be.
now that I am
at my fate
at the entrance to hell
at the bottom of this grave
of my eternity
and if I am truly
here forever,
I'll have plenty of time
to ask myself
why did I jump?


Details | Tanka | |

The very last cut

Do you see my wrists?
They cry blood when I do this;
Push the blade deeper.


Details | Lyric | |

From The Peircing Of An Arrow To The Cold Hearted Fate Of love

her life is on the tip of his tongue
the sparkle leaves her eyes
an arrow to his chest
drawing her to her death
a feather falling from the sky
the death of an angel
her wings turn blood red
like the color of the red sea
the sword drawn out of the ground
by her own hands
what he could not do himself
she has done for him
He falls unto to his knees
the arrow she had put into his chest
the greatest of betrayals
She asked for her death wish
Holding the ring in her palm
He looks into her eyes
watching the love she had left for him disappear
Falling into despair
Her face hitting the ground
Blood surrounded her body
He watched as she died
He couldn't move from the love that had pierced his chest


Details | Rhyme | |

Suicide

I see the pain in your eyes
The fear in your voice
I know because I've been in your place
It's not your choice

I'm sorry
I would hate for anyone  to feel this way
Please don't leave this world
Just try and stay

This isn't the only way to go
At least don't leave without a fight
Just know
You were never alone

You had me right by your side
Even when you never wanted me around
I promise to you I never told a lie
I was always honest and true
Towards you

You don't have to end your life
I've tried to many times its not worth it
Please put down that knife
I mean it

Stay with me
Fight this battle with me by your side
You always had me don't you see
I was always nice to you

Even when you where terrible to me
I fought threw it and you can too
You're just a little seed
Waiting to grow into something beautiful


Details | Rhyme | |

I Am One Of Them

Life's Hard
It's filled with pain
And misery
My mind is stained
Stained with every memory

Sometimes I think today will be my last day
This place causes me so much pain
I wish I didn't have to stay

Some days are worse than others
I'm starving
Dying for food
I'd do anything

To many things go through my head
Will I be able to keep down my next meal?
Will I live for tomorrow?
Is this terrifying place even real?

I feel so alone
Yet I'm surrounded by people
But this place could not be called a home
There's no life in these places
Or in these faces

Everyone looks dead
As so do I
Most of us haven't been fed

My eyes have been marked
With these dead bodies that lay upon the ground
Without a soul I still look at them
Soon I may be found
As one of them


Details | Free verse | |

Angel of Death

Angel of Death,
Cloaked in black.
With black scaled wings,
Upon her back.
Angel of Death,
Coming for me.
As soon as I sleep
Then dead I will be.
Taken by the night
It swallows and consumes me.
Now I am the angel
And death becomes me.

2003-2004
7th Grade


Details | Free verse | |

Fallen Angles

Bang, there goes another.
Another life, another meaning,
Gone. Gone like the rain in the desert
Never to return.

It’s the sad truth that our children
Our teenagers

Cannot live in harmony together on our Earth.
We turn to the isolation.
To the pain.
To the self-hatred and the bitterness.
But what do we gain?

Our lives are not statistics.
We do not deserve this belittling
We do not deserve this treatment.
And yet we still take it all in stride.

We fall and we fall but it never seems to end.
And so we take everyone down with us in the long run.
When will we learn to grab hold,
and stop this incessant falling,
this constant drowning in our thoughts, in the shouting words of others?

Bang, there goes another.
A lost purpose, a lonely child.
Never to see themselves better than the ugly words of others
ever again.


Details | Free verse | |

It's Falling

It's not suicide,
it's falling.
Falling hopelessly,
helplessly into that dark place.
The one you've covered up for so long.
The one that is hidden behind your smiles and laughs and rehearsed joy.
For so long you've waited,
everyday only getting closer and closer to the edge.
You cut and bleed, hurting yourself because somehow, 
someway it helps with the pain.
When things are good, they're bad.
When things are bad, they're horrible.
The pain of day to day life can be only so tolerated.
'Till that day when the cutting, 
poking,
prodding, 
and bleeding doesn't help anymore.
And you finally fall.
You slip so effortlessly into that dark hole,
where there's no room for light. 
Nothing but the final escape from that bitter pain.
Freedom.
As it gets darker and darker, you can see the light.
Not a light of something better, but a light that it's all over.
It's like a continuous rabbit hole,
never ending.
Until you hit the bottom and you're gone.
It's not suicide,
it's falling.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Poetry Instead of Suicide

Poetry;
Silence;
Who wants violence?
Dark dreams;
Evil screams,
Hold on strong,
The fight is nearly
gone,
Fighting to breathe,
Fighting to see,
It's hard to believe
this is me,

I never saw myself
falling to the
blade,
But in the end this
is how I'm paid,
Suffering from
tears,
Torn from fears,
All I know is that,
I'm not sure why I'm
here,

Told to live,
But living a lie,
Stuck in a place
where everyone wants
me to die,
Hurt and confused,
Broken and bruised,
Not sure what to do,
But i Will fight
till I can't move,
This is what I must
do,


Details | I do not know? | |

The Anomalies

Red angry lines cut against
My white pale skin
A contrast to the perfect
A flaw in the flawless
So imperfectly perfect

Others- they don't understand
How beauty prevails in such a thing
They don't understand how amazing
The pain can be

It's a portal to another world
A world free of torment and trouble
One where freaks like us can survive
It's the escape

Escape is what we want
What we need
We crave it as a baby craves it's sleep 

We are the cattle in a slaughter house
The prisoners on death row

We are the freaks they hate upon

The imperfections that never fade

We are us

But us is never good enough

Not for them


Details | Salaam | |

Yeh khaalipan


Jab Meri Bechaini Mit Jayegi
Jab Mere Dilko Sukoon Mil Jayega
Yeh Khaalipan Mit Jayega

Do Pal Ki Chandni Ke Liye
Aj Bhi Zinda Hoon Main
Meri Khaamoshi Ke Ageh Aasmaan Bhi Khatam Ho Jayega

Kehne Ke Liye Toh Roz Marta Hoon Main
Thoda Aur Marne Ke Liye
Yeh Deewana Kal Phir Ayega


Details | Elegy | |

The Lost Boy

There was a boy I used to know.
He never let his feelings show.
Turns out he wanted suicide.
When he died, I cried.
Why did he have to go?
Was that why he never let his feelings show?
He hung himself like a criminal.
That’s not what he was like at all.
He still had time to grow.
Maybe he should’ve let his feelings show.
There was a boy I used to know. 


Details | Free verse | |

Devil's Hidden Ranch

DEVIL'S HIDDEN RANCH

Coyote howl, dogs growl
Gunshots, dead cow
Red barn left unlock
Horse shoe upon death's door
Tequila in a cup
Salt of cocaine, shadows of insanity
Guitar string, sad song
Bandit near the door, wife on the floor
Hallucinating---Reality
Yelling out her name, he's gone insane
Loaded gun, life is done
Far and near ending his intoxicating fear
The road under the sun
A coward in his path
Responding to the Devil's wrath

In a Hidden Ranch in Mexico!!!!!!
       
:)   SKAT


Details | Lyric | |

Special

To capture the attention everyone else gets but you
You do whatever you can to get it
Even if its bad
You continue to do it
To get the attention you never had
And the attention you will never get
You want the perfect body and soul that everyone else has
You want to feel important... special
So you seek for a better
Much higher thing
What you need
You dont quite know
But you decide that
You will do whatever it takes to make you happy
And sometimes
That means..
suicide
Sometimes it means
Shooting someone
Because the hole inside your heart needs filled
And thats the only thing you ever had
The only thing you see
The only thing that someone gave to you
The thing that got everyone talking about you
The thing that got everyone to even look at you
So if you decide to kill someone
You kill yourself afterwards
Because you felt lonely again
You felt that no one was watching you
That no one even cared 
Then you think about all the things that 
Bugged you
And you pull the trigger
Then theres no more you
Next time someone sees you
You will be on the news
Where now you are special
And important


Details | Light Poetry | |

Dedication to Robin Williams

Doubting the fire in your heart
Firewater to wash the tears
Laughter hides the rain
Witty lines to overshadow the silence and the pain
Missing Doubts, fired from life’s strains
Acting roles, never I me
The Big screen, keeping you all over there
As I play my own role, hardly can I bare
Enveloped in sadness
No letter inside empty walls
Fulfilled now, the dead poet
The comedic tragedy
Hanging up side down
Too tired, I retire

To the society yonder


Details | Rhyme | |

My Final Exit

I'm dying and I'm angry because it isn't fair,
and with my family, friends and loved ones this news I will not share.
It's hell for me to be going through all of this alone, but that is the cross I must bare.
It's my last gesture to show all of them how much I loved them and truly cared.
The last thing that I want is to be the cause of any of their despair.
If I told any of them that I was dying, 
it would only serve to depress all of them,
and so my limited time left with them, for all of them, never to them will be known.
When I do feel that my time is drawing near I'll announce a trip I'll be going on.
I'm a wilderness survivor enthusiasts. 
I've been known to venture deep into and live in very remote wilderness.
so one day I'm going to announce to them that I'm going on another little trip.
I'll leave unknown to they what will be my following final statement.
"If I do not return, please do not notify any authorities.
Please do not send out any search and rescue parties.
If I do not return it does not mean that I've suffered any life threatening injuries.
Most likely it means that I've made a choice to continue living there and never leave,
living my life naturally and in solitary with all of nature surrounding me.
That's the way I've always pictured my retirement to be.
Inevitably I will one day die in the wilderness, but likely in my sleep peacefully,
but for all of you I will never die, at least never officially,
and you'll assume that I'm still living my life the way I always wanted it to be,
in solitude far away from any so called civilized society.
I'll miss everyone of you very dearly, 
but I'll be living my life in a manner that will truly make me happy,
and isn't that the way retirement is supposed to be?"
I'll embrace them all and share with them how much I hold all of them so dear,
and then I'll venture off into the wilderness, never again to reappear,
and should it ever look as if I won't die after all peacefully in my sleep
I've brought along a little extra insurance with me.
If the pain gets over bearing or if I get too weak
to successfully forage and gather enough to eat.
If malnutrition is getting the best of me,
I'll swallow a half dozen tranquilizers which will render me unconscious shortly,
so it's very important after taking them to stay active on my feet
until I begin to feel the effects of the meds affecting me.
Only then will I lie down comfortably
and slip a plastic bag over my head snugly
secured with a rubber band around my neck for extra security.
Within seconds I'll be deeply unconscious and asleep
and I won't even be aware of any discomfort as my carbon dioxide I breath.
and then slowly, humanly and most peacefully
my final exit will arrive and death will take me.
Animals will scavenge upon the remains of my body,
providing them with much needed nutrition for them to eat.
The rest will decompose and bring nutrition to the soil
which will provide seeds with nourishment enabling new life to unfold.
I will then be for all eternity where I most would ever want to be,
among nature's wildlife and forests of fresh streams and lush trees.


Details | Elegy | |

Gone

You told me you wouldn’t leave
You promised you would stay
But now because of her
You’re considerably far away 
You reassured me that you loved me 
That you’d always be by my side
But once she pledged her loyalty
You left and so I cried
Without you I felt lonely 
Unable to move on
I knew that life would get easier
‘Cause it’s darker before dawn
I tried so hard, I really did
To forget how you betrayed me
So many years of marriage
And to think how you repaid me
What does she have that I don’t?
Did I ever do something wrong?
It feels like it’s been forever 
Since the last time I felt strong
You left me in the dust
So cold and hard like stone
In all the years I spent with you
I never thought I'd be alone
I remember walking down the street
When our hands were intertwined 
I remember the time of innocence
When I was so sure that you were mine
Your fingers entangled in my hair
Your kisses upon my cheek
Your soft breath upon my freckled face
That made my knees feel weak
You said that I’d recover
I just can’t help but see
You caressing her tender face
While I’m wishing it were still me
I feel the life drain out of me
Just as when you did leave
But I smile to myself as I go
Because it’s you who’ll get to grieve
As much as I am filled with hate
It pains me to see you cry
I wish you’d realized you still loved me
Before you saw me die


Details | Free verse | |

Take me to the countryside

Take me to the countryside 
where all the daffodils grow
fresh perfume saturating the air
dispersing sensational aroma
in the atmosphere.
Take me to the countryside
to inhale the balmy fragrance
of mother earth,
to walk on grassy lands
and hold each other hands.
Take me to the countryside
to gaze at the swaying trees, 
and listen to them humming breathlessly 
 in the chilly breeze.
enchanting birds singing in the gusty afternoon,
dancing vigorously to their melodious  tune.
Take me to the countryside 
where all the natural things grow,
tangerine, oranges , banana and  kiwi fruit.
homemade yogurt ,sweet yam
and fresh milk from grandpa’s lamb.
Take me to the countryside
to coalesce with earthy peasants, 
to run up and down the cornfield 
and waddle through onion beds.
Soak me in nature, 
and replenish my aching soul
purge my agonizing wound,
and distill my sorrowful tune.
My soul yearns for spiritual fulfillment
to drown the chaos from the external environment,
mineral water and running streams,
strumming guitars and melodious flutes
are singing harmoniously,
and whispering the truth.
lead me to a place of comfort,
a place where I can breathe,
a place of beauty and incomparable dreams.
Take me to the countryside
to mingle with the animals,
to go horseback riding,
and camp on the mountain top.
Take me away from this hopelessness,
to a place of peace and quietness.
Take me away from this desolation
and find away to solve this confusion.
I want to be free,
free from this burden and misery,
so take me with you before you leave.
When I close my eyes and count to three
at the sound of the whistle
I charge you to set me free.


©2013 Christine Phillips


Details | Alliteration | |

My Love

My love I can not find you anywhere, 
I feel like I lost my soul somewhere, 
because you are my soulmate, 
and us being apart can not be fate. 

You did not leave because you wanted to, 
It just was just something you had to do. 

I was not right, All I wanted to do was fight, 
and knowing you was the love of my life, 
yet I would not make you my wife. 

I know that's what you really wanted 
and now I am feeling haunted, 
by the things I should have done, 
and you being the only one 
I ever loved and will love forever, if it was'nt for me we will still be together. 
 
But you are gone 
and I can not go on, 
so I must say good-bye, I'm leaving myself to die.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Bleeding Out

She's holding in her hand
The only thing she can feel
Growing so weak she can barely stand
She chooses instead to kneel
To a forgotten God she prays
This pain is more than I can bear
Have mercy; please take the rest of my days
To the mirror, she turns to stare
Into eyes more than half dead
A girl without hope
There was no one to take the pain in her stead
No one to help her cope
As she makes the final cut
The blood drips on the floor
Her eyes forever shut
As she journeys to Heaven's door


Details | Free verse | |

Love, Death, and Rebirth

The signs started in December
When she started waking up in tears each night
She was a normal girl with dark brown hair and darker brown eyes
She had plenty of friends and a loving family with just one thing missing
Her father. 

Days passed by and turned into weeks but only felt like a few seconds
Her life just whizzed by faster and faster until it was just a whirr in front of her eyes
Darkness filtered into her heart and mind until she didn't know if she could go on
But she had to. She couldn't let her mother and her sister drown in this same pain
She wouldn't let them.

She pushed all the darkness into the depths of her own heart
In hopes to save the hearts of the two people she had left
Because what else was there to live for now?
The rest of her world had crashed and her mother and sister was all that was left 
She wouldn't let them drown in pain too. 

She watched as they started to heal in her loving arms
Their hearts started to lighten up once more
But hers was just as dark as it was before 
And growing darker day by day 
But she wouldn't let that stop her. 

Suddenly a year had passed... and then two 
It only seemed like seconds to her but everyone else started moving on
Her mother and sister no longer needed her nurturing care
But she needed someone to hold on to
Anyone...

With nothing left for her to take control of, the dark pushed past her boundries 
It found a way into her soul
Until all she could see was dark and no light 
But her mother and sister were healed now
They didn't understand

The tears came back and engulfed her soul
Bit by bit until she wasn't sure why she was still alive
The grief took over like knives 
Piercing her skin over and over and over
It hurt so much.

She started to wonder what it'd look like to be dead
She could see him again if she was
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to endure this pain?
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to live knowing she'd never see him again?
It would.

So she started to hate herself
All that negative energy was starting to take toll
Everyone around her was breathing while she suffocated more and more by the second
She wished she'd just choke already instead of living in constant pain
If no one would put her out of her misery, she'd have to do it herself

She couldn't see any light anymore
So she grabbed the pill bottle off the shelf and just hoped it wouldn't take long to die
Deep down she still had a spark of light, but she just couldn't find it 
And now it was too late in her mind to change, to turn back and try to look deeper
She was done living.

That's when people started to notice that everything wasn't as peaceful as it seemed
They started to see how deeply depressed she had become
They wanted to help her see the light again before it was too late 
So they sent her away to see doctors and to take pills to make everything better
It was a start.

She didn't see a change at first but suddenly she could think clearly
Maybe what they were doing was actually going to help her see the light again
Yes, she still wanted to die, but maybe that wasn't the only option anymore
They cared,  and behind all their own problems they were trying to understand
They really were trying

Six months longer she would be treated and cared for
Until suddenly she was sent home from her treatment and care with a smile on her face
She had a new perspective
Someone had helped her ignite that spark in her heart until it was a glowing ember
She had been reborn

Sometimes you have to be able to experience the worst of it
To come back shining brighter than before
And if she had died that cold day in October, she wouldn't of ever seen the best of it
Or known that it would get better
and it did!

And she now sits at her laptop, with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart
It's never been an easy road and it won't ever be
But at least she knows she's lived through the worst
And it can only get better from here

So whenever she feels lonely or gets back into that dark spot again
She can look back on what she's learned and can read this poem
And remember that she survived the darkest depths of depression
And she will continue to survive it as long as she lives
Because she is stronger now than she ever was before ?


Details | Rhyme | |

BUMBLE BEE

I spied a bumble bee
Flying confident and keen
She desired for all to see
She fancied herself the queen
 
This bumble bee was free
To fly where she pleased
She set her sights on me
Her sting knocked me to my knees
 
The bumble bee had done
Exactly what she desired
So sure that she had won
Until the moment she expired
 
So be careful where you fly
Evaluate your intent
It's not a win if you die
Hear this bee's dying lament


Contest: Impress me with a small poem II (Winner.. 2nd place)
MOTIF: Philosophical
Sponsor: Giorgio A. V.


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | I do not know? | |

Well how do you feel

In high school everything changes
Teachers, friends, you, 
“That’s just life” they say,
And they never stop to ask
“Well, how do you feel?”

And your friends leave, and your grades decrease,
And your teachers begin to worry,
And they make you see a shrink,
But they never stop to ask,
“Well, how do you feel?”

The sky starts to crumble,
And the tears begin to fall,
And music and hoodies become your best friends,
And they never stop to ask,
“Well, how do you feel?”

And the tools come out.
And the objects fall apart,
And you reach for the closest one,
And the ask, finally,
“Well, how do you feel?”

But by now it’s too late.
Your time is up, your blood’s run out,
Your scars show for the world to see,
Cause they asked too late,
“Well, how do you feel?”

“She was so young” they all say,
But really you were old.
You’d seen so much and hurt so much,
It was time for you to go.

So you picked up the pills and washed them down
And grabbed the blades and cut
And when they finally noticed you weren’t around
It was too late you were gone.

They found your letter on the bed
And read it out at school
“You asked to late, but I don’t blame you.”
And your friends were moved to tears. 

In your tree house in the yard
They found you pale as snow
Your eyes closed, a smile on your face
And they realized you were gone.

They roll up your sleeves and roll up your pants
And scream at what they see
Lines, and lines, and lines of cuts
Some healed and some not.

And they realized they should have asked in the beginning
How you felt that is, cause, 
Honestly you didn’t, 
You didn’t feel anything at all. 


Details | Elegy | |

Let Go

A long list of names with not a friend among them
Is it just of book of hidden faces
Forgotten faces?
Not a single word I've ever said was
written with truth
And here's the proof

When there's tears streaming down my face
Stuck in place
Is a smile that is a lie
When every time  I look around
I want to die

No friendly faces, in the brightest of places
And I can't make a sound
Is this life or is it just a dark hell
 How is one to live without living
Feeling lonely
Lost in a sea of sound

The darkness inside me
Is seeping through my heart
and making me lose my self control
Turn the shower up higher so they don't hear me cry
It's all I can do, just living a lie

The friends I thought I had
left when I was reaching my lowest
Now as I sink below the surface
The sun is the dimmest of lights

Scratching at my sides
Not ready to go back to the blade
So long gone, I've reached the breaking point 
but I'm afraid to let go


Details | Narrative | |

It Was Me

You were taken to soon.
Ripped away from us.
You knew it was our final goodbye.
But the truth was hidden.
With a tear in your eye,
There was one last goodnight hug.
I wiped away the tear,
Then smiled and walked away.
By the time of the morning light
It was already too late.
You were gone and to a better place.
Never knew of your acknowledged your pain.
Of your suffering
Sometimes I wonder,
"If I only cared more
Would you still be here?
If I only hurt less,
Would you still be here?"
I'd deny it if I could.
But inside we both know,
I am the reason
You went away.


Details | Rhyme | |

4 - Messenger from the Dead

Alas there is no more confusion,
finally found my last conclusion.
Expect me as if Jesus will return,
from a ghost to a realm of concern.

Your dreams are portals like doors,
welcoming spirits into hasten wars.
Leaving the thoughts without trust,
keeping your fears in much disgust.

And though you sought no consequence,
deeds that confirm a wicked malevolence.
Awaiting in your nightmare of screams,
enjoy what is left amongst your dreams.


Details | Free verse | |

the color of october

it's October
the air around her is cool
like her thoughts these days
she looks at the branches, twisted
much like her mind
they are reaching upward
but she is grounded
forever in time
 
she heard the clatter of branches
smacking against walls
and the crash of metal
screeching brakes
screams of pain
and then nothing
but silence falls
 
she  runs to the window
sees the audience
stare at her
then through her
riches to rags
gold to nothing
her fame is gone
 
the trees below are turning
from gold to red
the leaves tossed about
in a slight wind
they spin
so graceful as in dance
a slow spiral down
and she longs to join in
 
she reaches towards them
tastes the cool air
as she falls down
grounded with the leaves
 
the pavement turns red
as silence falls
in October's air
 
 
 
 

The suicide of Dorothy Hale
October 21, 1938
(painting by Frida Kahlo)


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Only Way I Can See

 All these tears that you can see, 
 From what you have been doing to me .
   The crying out in the middle of the night ,
 Of my thoughts of you that just aren't right .
   Despair and sadness I feel each day,
 Just can't seem to make them go way.
   I wonder why I live with so much strife,
What will it be that will change my life.
   My dreams of all that once was good, 
 Everything back then I easily understood.
   So much sadness and endless misery.
 I guess that is all that is left for me .
   Comptiplating my only way out,
 Would be so wrong no doubt.
   If it's the only way for me to be free,
 Then  that would have be the only way for me .
   Sorry if you just can't understand ,
 Exactly what has happened to this man.
   Once I was so proud to be alive,
 Now I only wish that I would die,
   If you carried the pain that I do ,
 I'm sure this path would be the same for you.

TAC


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Alice

She leans over her grave and weeps,
the trees beneath the barren hills bow their heads, 
as the raving winds bellow through the arcade of bushes around her head.
Tick
tack
ick
tack
tick
ick
the trees join quietly in the ceremony.
Tears streams down her lean drag face,
flooding the pillow under her grave.

In silence she undresses
the misery of her past.
imprisoned,
bewitched,
beaten,
separated,
riddled with puzzles,
laden with mysteries
each segment opposed.

The writhing lasted two hours,
blades, penetrates her head,
spilling blood all over her bed.
Frenetic screams climbs the hills,
whipping the wind into a raging storm
 through the room.
She rips the pillow beneath her head,
smashing the radiant mirror across the bed.
Beyond, there was no answer.

Her moaning increased, but her pains did not cease.
She falls asleep directly on her grave,
with the weeping knife protruding from her chest.

©2013 Christine Phillips


Details | I do not know? | |

Family Matters

In the attic, above wooden floor,
through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door,
near the broken window and glass of the sore,
hiding in the shadows,
bloodstains on the wall.

 Number nine,
house at the end of the street,
where lights are low,
where silent never sleep.


Details | Lyric | |

The Things You Wish You Could Erase

Sitting on the edge of the bridge
Holding unto that bottle of beer
The same beer that he drank 
The night he killed those people
Flashback in his brain
Gripping unto the bottle
nearly breaking it
hes sitting behind the wheel
Picks up the beer bottle 
Takes another sip
He sees the car
But gently closes his eyes
The women slams on her breaks
Her son in the back seat
The cars crash
Her car rolls down the hill
His car slamming into 
The side of bridge gates
The gates holding him steady
He gently steps out of his car
Seeing the smoke 
A gray car laying in the river
Below the bridge hes standing on
He runs down there 
Running through the water
the top of the car barely noticable
He helps the young women out
Not knowing about the little boy
In the back seat
She yells
"my son... my son"
She points to the vehicle
She takes her last breathe
Lays there helplessly
The man drags the little boy out of the car
A scratch on his forhead
Not breathing at all
The man cries
Trying to wake the kid up
Knowing they are both up in heaven
He vanishes
Several years later
He sits on the bridge
Holding the bottle
Has a child of his own
A wife of his own
Waiting at home for him
His son an hour before 
Wanted to walk to the bridge
With him
But the man just said no
The young boy just stayed home
His father never came back
They found him 
Floating in the same river
The women and her son were in

~Dedicated to Tommy~


Details | Lyric | |

Changed

If i were to tell you that my heart is gray
What would you do to make it red again?
If i were to say that i dont miss you
Would you understand my pain?
If i were to show you how much you mean
Would you notice that my heart stopped beating?
If i were to picture things in my mind to be perfect
What would you do to tell me things wont ever be the same?
If you were to tell me your heart was gray
I would give you mine in place of yours
If you were to say that you dont miss me
I would understand your pain
If you were to show me how much i mean
I would notice that your heart stopped beating
If you were to picture things in your mind to be perfect
I Would tell you that they are, your just ignoring it
I would tell you how big of a part you are in my life
I would say to you that you are my hero
I would show you my scars and heal your wounds
I would picture us in a place that does not harm love
If you could see the hole in my heart 
Would you bother to fix it 
Or would you let it fall apart?


Details | Rhyme | |

Goodnight

Is life worth a try?
Would I be living a lie?
If I smile, would it break?
If I laugh, would it be fake?
I see the tears from the sky and me
See how self doubting I can be
The feeling of damp grass
The moment that's bound to last
The ways I could wash away
All the people who have gone astray 
Is it me to blame?
When can my feelings be tame?
Why is this world so dark?
When can I actually make a mark?
The tears all fall down
Ive been given a permanent frown 
Standing out is not a choice
Cant risk screaming with my voice
The sky is now dark blue
How many insults were true?
I wish I could be pure
They all hate me, I'm sure 
All eyes watch me every move
So much that i want to prove
why do i still put up a fight?
Why shouldn't i just say goodnight?
i don't have anyone to miss
could death give me a dark ending kiss?
Is there a reason for me to be here?
I all i can feel is numbing fear
I just want to feel the sun shine
To feel happiness throughout my spine
But that is just a dream
That will float away with my desperate scream
Help is the word i always say
I ask for it everyday
And what do i get?
I pile full of regret
I think it's time
To end my faith, my suffering, my rhyme


Details | Free verse | |

The River home

It was a home on the river we lived .
It was the ghost of a young man whom had taken his own life.

I still remember the vision of him walking by me with a blank stare 
We,  as a Family of  seven , moved into this river house 
Panoramic views right out to the river , I should mention

I was home alone as a child , looking out at "The Julia Belle Swan " as she went by .
Upstairs in that room as I saw a figure walking by , with very nice features , auburn hair 
I thought he was my older brother , a handsome young guy 

Then I realized the young man was not my brother , a  apparition he appeared .
He was not there to scare or frighten , 
the message I believe he wanted to shed light on, so clear.

He walked right by ,then disappeared through the window, out to the River .

The Ghost knew I could see him , a gift I have been given
when I was a younger child of five , I had once died for a short time. I was lifted by Jesus in Heaven . Death is not for us to decide .

Later in the years we moved from that home , every home we lived in had a story 
or a presence of its own . My Mother had told me later , a young man took his life there .

 Keep fighting your way through life and its despair , 
you are important to someone whom cares .  If you feel alone and want life to end , Please pick up the phone , call anyone ,  call for help , call a Friend .

"This is not fiction , it truly is a gift I have been given "


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Lucid Dream

Look upon city once known by name,
ruins that I called home, streets swallowed by flame,
in time alive shell not witness less of what should you understand,
reach on to hand of a stranger, scroll remain;
in signs that might be changing welcome,
different of a man.

When dawn awakes and there is no light,
upon dusk of man darkness will be spread by sight,
in time not different change will arise, life we thought you knew,
death would recognize.

Hearts will bound to King without a Crown,
why do mothers shed tears, echo rooted in the ground,
is there reason of a foolish wars, contracts written in blood,
new born babies died breathless, can't even appreciate the Sun,
don't deserve to live, not worth of the land,
existence will be scattered in ashes,
you will be remembered
by name.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

The Damned

Her devilish eyes beat at me 
taking flesh with every blow,her 
rendered heart beat sounds like 
tribal drum rolls an her skin 
drips venom from its pores , I 
find myself helpless and 
paralyzed , everything else 
seems trivial and meaningless 
to this moment,..she exhales 
smoke and lightning flows from 
her finger tips ,she is the 
antichrist the source of my 
device, but I can't help but give 
her my heart,I question my gift 
but remain entranced caught in 
her red moonlit ritual 
dance,sight of her is blinding , 
she is what Every man  desires 
but can't reach, it feels like 
heaven but I sweat from the 
heat,the pain she inflicts is 
bitter sweet an burns like salt 
in a wound ,she is gods most 
regretted creation born for the 
night with a hunger that cannot 
be fed,hold her down chain her 
up she cannot be contained , 
pentagrams burn white in her 
eyes,she's a shape shifting 
voodoo angel that sleeps with 
vipers ,yet I seek her and 
desire her with every thread of 
my existence and have turned 
into an insomniac who day 
dreams of her , cut by the 
thorns of the rose she wears in 
her hair , always the day of the 
dead and raining razorblades, 
the tree limbs reach out for my 
embrace but every one of them 
are shadowed with her face,I 
close my eyes I can always find 
her there , lay with her in the 
ground every breath she takes 
is sin ,she's a black rosé that 
cannot be changed a black rosé 
that cannot be contained , 
ashes to ashes dust to dust I 
cut my heart to be with her and 
bleed undying trust,it's only 
her....everything else I feel is 
not real .....


Details | Free verse | |

Depression

Depression

3 o’clock in the morning…
The sounds of bed frames hitting drywall,
The sounds of Chopin and Coltrane played
With a hint of sadness in tone.
Sounds of whores and pimps arguing;
“Where is the money, you whore?!”
“I don’t have the money!”
A sound of a slap to the face
A big hand crushing bone,
Blood everywhere
Red streaks on white walls.
The sound of drunks walking gloomy streets,
Police and ambulance rush down burned out streets
Sirens wailing, crying out!

A child, six years old
Crying, “Momma! Momma!”
Shedding tears over his dying mother, lost her soul to the
Crack pipe.
Rest In Peace.
A sound of a .357 magnum revolver click
And a gunshot shakes the nerves of many,
And for a moment the sweet and peaceful silence.

“Dispatch, suicide on 46th street Hollywood Boulevard, Send the Corner. Over.”
Then the darkness sails over
And the entire cities are showered with tears from the heavens,
But no one weeps,
Not a single soul…

-10/2/13-


Details | Rhyme | |

Death by Beauty

A smile moves across her lips
She gazes at her crime
A scar across her flesh and soul
To haunt her for all time
She’ll waste away for all she cares
Never stops to use her brain
Doesn’t care about the ones who are close
All she cares about is pain

She wants to be what the others expect of her
Doesn’t care about the self-respect for her
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Can’t she see what all she has got
Already?

Never to go back again
She feels the world is at an end
She will never show her grief
Although she’ll cry in empty streetS

She’d sooner live like a desolate mole
Living in fear in an empty hole
Screaming silent wails alone
Content to live in her mental home

A final tear falls from her eye
It hits the ground, it’s followed by
A beautiful body, mutated by hate
A kind word could have stopped it, but it is too late
One two many bricks in the wall in her mind
Molding her demise because her heart was blind
This self conscious being could never have won
For she was destroyed by the beautiful ones

She wouldn’t fight back, wouldn’t respect herself
In the end, she managed only to wreck herself
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Little did she know, she had all she had sought
Already


Details | Free verse | |

Suicide Cheats Death

It was cold.

Death's fingers
Resting on my forehead.
The nail
Scraping, scraping,
Skin scorching
Of pain.

"You want darkness
Or heaven?"

He cackled, losing grip
On the nail
Bludgeoning
For blood.

"Time's a wasting."

The wind stopped blowing a long while ago.
Death composed himself;
Pulled the nail out
'Til the roused red
Spouted out

And the cold resurfaced.

"You ain't scared.
This suicide?"

"Death.
If only you knew,
How much I craved
For this to end."

The frostbite quivered.
Death removed
The deadly weapon
From the skin.

"I'm a murderer.
Not a liberator."

Death.
His charm tensed,
As his tongue rid
The blood stain from his white digit
Forcing exit as a bitter belch,
And a satiated grin
Carved on his
Phantom tint.

"I'll be back when you have a purpose
Eh?
Ain't no joy for me when there's joy for you."

And he will.
Yes, he will wait.
Patiently,
Waiting
To grace my blood
With his twitching nail,
Edging icily.
For it will only take
The whisper of a smile,
A soundless breeze,
To summon even the remnants
Of his presence.


Details | Monorhyme | |

Jekyll and Hyde

With the death of my parents something changed inside, Its a secret very deep that I’ve tried so hard to hide, I keep busy working but admit I often have denied, There’s not a day go by that I don’t think of suicide. Then I look at my children and become filled with pride, To see my son graduate, my daughter become a bride, Would be part of life so important, it could not be denied. And spending these milestones without me to preside, Would make my family feel like a big part of them died. So I keep the sleeping pills hidden and the act untried, Averting the sad thoughts, putting a smile on the outside. Breathe easy, this secret is not a true story, that’s the upside. Written by Lee Ramage August 30, 2011 For Shani Fassbender’s Contest “Tell Me a Secret” Placement: First place
** According to the World Health Organization someone around the globe commits suicide every 40 seconds. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death in 15-24 year olds. WHO website 2009


Details | Ballad | |

Isolation

How can I tell you?
I can't stay with you.

Neither I can give up on you.
Fear of losing you is losing me.
It feels like slow death every night.

But we are just stuck in our spaces!
Unable to connect from two feet distance.


Details | Light Poetry | |

A night to forget

She thought that he’s charming
Her friends says he is so cute
But little did they know
It’s the furthest from the truth

Her mom buys her a new dress
Because he ask her to the prom
But during the fun and laughter
He spikes her punch with rum

She wakes up in his BMW
He,s smiling with a cigarette
A morning she will remember
A night to forget

She can’t stop crying
She lies on her bed
Feeling hurt and disgusted
Suicide thoughts comes to her head

Her mom notice the changes
But she don’t know what is wrong
She use to sing in the church choir
The preacher says she stops coming around

She hugs her mother last night
Then walks out the door alone
And its now early morning
She didn’t come back home

She jumps over the bridge
They pull her body soaking wet
She couldn’t live with the memory
Of the night she can’t forget

It’s sad that her young life was ruin
By the evil that lays hidden behind a smile
Her mother life is shattered
Never knowing what happen to her child

This is happening to innocent girls
All over the world
Taking away their dignity and pride
Sucking the life out of their very soul

Another girl sits under a tree
Reading a book of poem by kaz ishmael
He said “excuse me just got to say
That you have a beautiful smile

She brushes her long hair
Think her jeans didn’t fit to right
His BMW is waiting out side
They are going to movies tonight


Details | Rhyme | |

Suicide Bomber

You are a monster, a devil, a curse
Where you go crowds disperse
Death and disability, you gift to society
Cities littered with corpses in variety

You blow your own body to shreds
Along with it you annihilate hundreds
You kill women, children, young and old
As a reward your family wins some gold

Heaven is promised as your share
You for hereafter your life spare
Your turning of streets and roads into blood’s pool
Is a heinous crime you lecherous fool

You nothing but God’s wrath earn
Your body and soul will in Hell burn
Persecuted, tormented, lashed and cursed
Your bleeding wounds left un- nursed

The blazing Hell that never chills
Its belly with likes of you fills
Angels accounting for the blood spilled
And the number of innocents you killed

Who but you is to blame?
Those on whose bidding you played the game
Will not be there to rescue you
From lashing of angels black and blue


Details | Rhyme | |

Forty Lost

Time moves on,
and soon will tell,
when asked for whom
they ring the bell…
 Forty lived
…and forty lost,
you left before twilight.
When it’s half as much,
at twice the cost,
you’ll  bask
in perfect light…
We live in castles
…made of sand,
we come as a stranger,
but leave as a friend…
Remember now,
your last first kiss,
those times will be
profoundly missed…
Your smile indeed
could cast a spell.
You learned to
play a bad hand well…
With all our hopes
and dreams in tow,
we are old too quick,
and wise too slow.
Life’s an elaborate
complex dance...
Would you live again,
if you had the chance?
 
 Copyright © 2013


Details | Lyric | |

Im Sorry

I hope you remember all of the bad things you have done so far
I hope you still have the chance to fix them 
Im sorry it took me forever to write this letter to you
Ive been meaning to save you from what your about to become
For some reason i cant get a grip on it
I dont know what i want to say
I dont know how to help you
Im about to tell you about some of the things you are about to do
Right now your 16
Right now you are sitting on your bed listening to music
Reading a book on your favorite band
Smoking that cigarette
That will soon get you into all the other things that causes more problems for you
Try to avoid the guy you are about to let into your life
Remember that your not allowed to talk to strangers
Remember your mom told you that when you were 7
Its about time you listen to her
You will meet a girl
And you will end up hurting her
Dont take her to that club 
Where your band is about to play
Your not good at singing
And your bass playing still needs some work
Dont embarass yourself
It lowers your self esteem
And you will try to committ suicide
Multiple times
But dont worry 
It doesnt work
So stop trying to 
Kill yourself
Remember the night when you ran away
And went to go live with your aunt
Yea...
Shes about to kick you out
Look under your bed
You will find 500 dollars
You put it there when you were young
You forgot 
Thats why im writing you
Remember it
Take it and use it wisely
Dont use it on the drugs 
Dont use it on the beer
Use it towards a better future
So then i dont have to write this letter again.

12-13-12


Details | Lyric | |

Along The Way

I say goodbye
To this chapter in my life
Im sure you will get the answers
When im gone
So when the day comes
The sun will not touch my face
Theres mistakes
The path is long
Look at my face
The stories it could tell 
The ones that wont erase
Tell the ones that cared enough 
That i finally left this place
So play the song
Its something to remind you
When im gone


Details | Quatrain | |

Dismayed

What was going through your head
When you decided to end your life
Did you consider your love ones at all 
Leaving behind your sons and wife

Failing to show up for work on Monday
Not calling or coming home that night
Leaving your family frantic and scared
So cruel of you to leave them in this plight

You were reported missing to the police
Your car found on Tuesday near Niagara Falls
Witnesses seen you jump in the icy waters
Just thinking about it.....my skin crawls
 
Three weeks later, your body still not found
Your wife is still struggling to stay strong
Posting pictures of you in happier times
Sorrow you left behind will be lifelong
 
Now your boys will grow up fatherless
Never understanding the reason why
Damage done to them emotionally
Tears of confusion and anguish as they cry

A small community remains shell shocked 
The awfulness of it all is so hard to digest
The reasons why we'll never truly know
May your tormented soul now be at rest

12/ 09/ 2013
*A sad and true story, his children are in my son's school.





Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Tragic Feather

Oh, tragic feather what is thy tragedy
No longer freedom gay or certian loft
How is this thy new translation
From a majesty, unto a wing thou hath mighty dropped

Were thou thus, shunned, cast away 
Or merely, cut out or off
As limb from downward spiral angel
Perhaps, a troubled finch or insanity in wayward hawk

Lie, if thou must, be it amidst a deafening silence, lonesome soft
But, I plead, please tell me fallen feather, what hath befallen thee
Thy tuft to ne’er evermore touch again
What life should be, warmth of the summer's breeze

Sleep, sleep now 'neath the alley's gutter greys 
Catching Weeping Willows damning drops
Adrift as the drowning lily dying
In seas of the myriad scattered rots

An accomplice I shall say, within a winter's willing white
And alas, buried ordinary in this doth the corpse delight
Far beneath the crowds held at bay and forever lost
Now thou hath become the naked grove of wicker and then...
                                   the more of naked souless crops


Details | Rhyme | |

Suicide Bombers

Those who kill innocents are cruel,
Their bodies will always be hell’s fuel,
Islam teaches about honor and dignity,
Care and love for the whole humanity,
But black sheeps are found everywhere,
Like KKK or Taliban, “Be aware”,
They do things on their own,
Their very own people, they disown.

All rights are reserved. Syed Imon Rizvi
From a book "Outspoken" - 2012
Available at www.amazon.com


Details | Lyric | |

Broken Glass

Do you hear the horn of the train? 
And the pitter patter of rain?
Listen close do you hear a sound?
Only silence, will she be found?

Who is fragile, who is of strength
How can one know another’s length?
Blind to the mask which hides her tears
Binding her to demons and fears
A fake light remains as she falls
Even while her broken heart stalls
Darkness commences in her soul
Blood loss spirals out of control
What an alluring crimson paint
Overworked artist starts to faint 

Do you hear the horn of the train? 
And the pitter patter of rain?
Listen close do you hear a sound?
Only silence, will she be found?

Why do some dance falsely with death? 
Unable to force their last breath
Her unspoken words of pureness
Soaked deeply in her loneliness
The jagged line of her escape
Leaves the unsuspecting agape
Drawn up on the median vein 
Just a few more moments of pain
Eyes flutter and seconds pass
Then gently falls the broken glass

Do you hear the horn of the train? 
And the pitter patter of rain?
Listen close do you hear a sound?
Only silence, will she be found?
Then gently falls the broken glass






Details | Limerick | |

Mediocre Man

There once was a man that was lackluster
Who's life was one giant cluster
Writes a suicide note
He slits his throat
Blank stares are all his family can muster


Details | Free verse | |

Peace

How queer the color of viscera
squarely foreign in my breast
To be the butcher and grim and goddess
All in one
Leaves identity succinct
Or identifies succinctness
If it has been
Then so it was always before

Therein is 'Peace'
Reposed and eyes rolling
Great, vacant saucers on vertiginous axis
She is quite the swollen beast
And on all fronts, she is terrible
If only you'll watch you may notice her growth
A malignant sort
An unwelcome appendage
I'd dash it out but I've already gone
Too pale and dogged in life to succumb
I curse her tenacity

She has a sister, I think
Or maybe a child
A child who lives down deep in my chest
A child who shrieks and tears down the walls
Perhaps she dislikes their pattern


Details | Ballad | |

All in great time

Don't stand at my grave,
An weep.
I'm not no long there.
I'm forever asleep
In a peaceful place.
You may look up,
  To the sky.
Maybe even daydream 
 Of are memories...
 I just ask this one
  Simple thing ...
Please don't cry,
Upon that stone
With my name engraved,
Cause that body is,
No longer mine...
I'm not there...
But I'm here somewhere at ease..
 Share are memories 
Tell are stories.
Cherish ever moment,
And soon enough.
ALL IN GREAT TIME
Forever by my side,
But it's not your time,
So get up and dry
Your crying eyes...
I'll be here no rush..
Together soon enough...
Don't give up...


Details | Rhyme | |

Tomorrow is too late

Something we forget that will cause us sorrow,
Is that today may be the last time,
To tell someone you love how important they are.
Only a fool believes there's always a tomorrow.
Such a belief is a crime.

You never know,
What they feel all the time.
The thoughts going through their heads.
The pressure & emotions only grow
What their thinking is a crime.

Maybe if you had told them yesterday,
They'd still have some time.
But now they will never hear your words.
Because yesterdays tomorrow is now today.
What they did was a crime.


Details | Free verse | |

Leave a Message After the Beep

It's always hardest, when there is no one to talk to-
When I dial your number, and it just rings and rings
Until the dreaded "voice mail" picks up.
For just an instant, when there is that brief crackle and "click"-
My hopes skyrocket that you have picked up the phone and answered, when I needed it most, the moment I am most frantic...
But when, in reality, it's just that pre-recorded message that I've heard a million times before; how I loath it
And I feel my heart sinking, like there are anchors tied all around it, dragging it into the depths of my stomach!
Where are you? Can you not feel my desperation through the infinite channels of the universe, or are they clogged and busy, too?
Don't you know that I need you, perhaps now, more than ever?
I know you're at that fancy French restaurant you're always talking about, drinking fine wine and eating escargot, possibly dancing the night away.
While I am here, all alone, eating my own heart out for supper.
All I need, all I want, is a compassionate voice on the other end of the line, talking me down off the ledge once again.
Don't you know I've had too much to drink; that I am listening to sad songs and thinking about doing it again- that awful thing which leaves me so terribly scarred when I wake from my stupor? The cuts. You know, those things you hate to see marring my arms.
But I'll have to resort to self-will and self-control, of which I have so very little...
I may or may not make it through another night of melancholy and self-loathing.
Please, for the love of God, pick up the damn phone!

*Any Poem Goes Contest Entry
~JustThatArchaicPoet
 


Details | Verse | |

The Eves of May

Maelstrom, O thou devil 
Slither past last March then unto April
Into the eves and ides of May 

Thou cannot hide, but thou wilt try
To disguise thy age old blackness
Forsake what once were brighter skies
Stranglehold; sane extraction

And the spills of night
A new tone deafness
Burning oil; sentiment molasses 
Bringing storms that cloud minds human and fragile 

Spheres of moonlit halos
Become, no more than serpent spies
Peeking through faultlines of life
Dancing about to the madness limbo

One lost soul...
Shipwrecks against a sea
And there too does the twist of tango
Eyes of the deep; tentacles, touching me

Elsewhere, the raven flies repetition
Into glass windows
Blood stains upon a faceless mask
Drowns out the cries and the conscience

Of feathers blacker that lie strewn
Are the questions I have asked 
And the answers I cannot have

Let slip feigned breath of man beneath
A gargle from the cold tunnel brine
What's left surrenders alter to its evil
And nothing is, to evermore survive

And the eves and ides of May 
Are Saran gas upon a mass of land
Men of desparation hunger 
Eating flesh of man much meeker

And thou wilst not again
Glimpse thy rival sun
Nor when it comes, goes 
Or finality, when it finds its done

Inspired by the madness of Poe
That which is locked within us all


Details | I do not know? | |

From Then To Now

Hand in hand we walked 
together into Reception
Nothing could stop us and 
together we were three
James and I LARP-ed Doctor 
Who for fun
We talked and laughed for 
hours
Because no stress was in our 
way
Anna and I smiled and laughed
And jumped on our bouncy 
castle
With nothing dividing us.

Side by side we walked 
together into Year 6
Some stranger stopped them to 
talk and broken we were alone
James and I talked about 
Doctor Who for fun
And we talked and kissed for 
hours
But misunderstanding broke us 
up
Anna and I still smiled and 
laughed
And joked about our bouncy 
castle
But secondary school was going 
to divide us.

With no one there I walked 
alone into Year 7
And a stranger became my 
friend and together we were 
two
Violet and I both loved Doctor 
Who
And James found Dominic
So James and I talked for mere 
minutes
And school started pulling us 
apart
Anna and I still laughed and 
smiled
Still promising to be friends 
Never letting it divide us

Suffocating and drowning I 
walked into Year 9
Hating how I was and feeling 
alone
Katie and Chloe were so pretty
And Violet so funny and all 
were better than me
James and I hardly talked or 
saw each other
But we still made the most of 
our friendship
As we were like family, stress 
couldn’t break us apart
Anna and I laughed but I did 
not smile genuinely
Because the bouncy castle was 
long gone
And our schools were beginning 
to divide us

Dead yet breathing I stand 
right now
And I hate who am I and every 
single detail
Fights broke us up and pulled 
us apart
So I can feel Katie, Violet and 
Chloe
Falling further out my reach
James moved house to a place 
unknown
And blamed me for never 
talking to him
But really it was because of my 
ex who was a girl
It was for something beyond 
my control
Anna and I were still friends; 
only by a thread
As she did not know about me
And how school broke me apart

So this is me now; I’m all alone
No longer the smiling young girl 
of reception
The only person talking to me 
is me
And the voice in side my head
You see; they all left me and 
always will
So now the only call I answer
Is that of my blades
And the darkness
That is constantly
Pulling me
Down


Details | Free verse | |

The Eyes

The Eyes

The eyes so shattered and so blue,
You sit there and you knew
The pain of losing someone close to you,
And you beg for their return,
But a wish so great, can never be granted.

The eyes shattered and blue,
Watch you,
Take the bottle and drowned yourself,
They watch you destroy yourself,
And they know what they do,
Yet they show no remorse, no pain in heart.

You fall asleep
On a dirty mattress,
Held up by broken dreams
And nightmares,
No pillow, no blanket
Just air you float on.
And your blind eyes close in the night,
The dreams come back to haunt you
And the eyes, they watch you,
So shattered and so blue.

Till three o’clock hits again
Wake in cold sweat,
Spiders on webs weaving a nest
In your head,
A cry out for the Madhouse,
Where the eyes so shattered and so blue
Stare at you, through a window with no reflection.

-10/3/2013


Details | Alexandrine | |

The angel

Death wraps around her 
Like a tarnished ring on a finger
She takes one last breath
In which alcohol lingers
The pills went down
Too soon after 
The only thing she'll miss
Is his sweet laughter
The blade is in her hand
For the cuts on her wrist
Doesn't bother putting on a band aid
It will all be over quick
She has a smile on her face
As she lays back and cries
She has her notes
Now she's saying a sweet good bye
Her angel in the ground matches
The statue now above her head
"Never let them take the light behind your eyes"
Was the last thing she had said
Friends gathered to talk 
about the girl they use to know
How she was too young
Still had room to grow 
Dear, I wish you knew
How we miss you terribly
I think of you every night 
And I still talk of you,sweetly


Details | Prose | |

A Happy Ending

A ringing bell in the near-distance makes her delicate body tremble, as she sat on the corner of the opaquely purple stained living room sofa. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. She grew in despair of how that pattern of sound had aroused the tiny hairs on her crinkling hands. She exhales repulsively the last draft of the cigarette she just turned off. A glance at the silver-rimmed ashtray, which rests an arm’s reach away, powerfully depicts that it was one of those nights again. 

 She was content not too long ago. Pampered by his tender words. He was the father of the children they never had. She would name her first born Alexander. Defender of Man. They would live a joyful life, far away from the city’s lights. Far away from it all. 

 That day he did not pick up his gun and secure it in his holster from the smoothly sanded wooden table near the bed they shared as he went to work. That day he did not kiss her forehead, a gesture of safety, which she was so used to every morning. The silent kiss reassured her, everything will be okay and that he will be back sooner than later. That day he did not wake her up from her sleep. Not intentionally at least. That day she woke up to the sound of a bang in the near-distance of their home. That day she was surrounded with thick red. That day she understood how selfish human beings can be. 

She began to shiver uncontrollably, tightly grabbing her left elbow with her right hand. She picks up a container of sky blue ovals which lay on the table in front of her next to her near-empty pack of cigarettes. She recalls what the doctor had said, “One every time you get an attack, ONE ONLY.” One never did the job, neither did five. That day she took ten. That day she slept well.


Details | Blank verse | |

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

How my mind races...how my heart breaks with every passing thought...each one weighing heavier on my heart! Every one causes me to roam closer to that cliff...closer to my escape...THEN I LOOK BEHIND ME and I see the hurt bewildered look upon my loved ones face...and I see a mirror image of myself...asking WHY? In that moment I begin to answer other's questions, only to realize THIS IS WHY!


Details | Free verse | |

My Problem

Born to live,
Never wanting to die,
fearing death to its every limit,
as blue eyed death grabs my shoulders
and laughs with grim
and I fear death even more.
Car crashes, murders, greed and envy
takes me to a place where I can't find hope.
Laughs grow and brings tears to my eyes,
I hope off trains and dodge cars driving down freeways
taking time to sit down and look at my ways,
that push me left nor right.
Up nor down can I see the time tick away
I can't wait till I walk Jacob's ladder,
till a black demon tears me down,
and sins rip me open,
like a surgeon to a patient on a table,
Me, myself and I take time to see the wrongs in life.

Do I dare shake the vines from the dark green jungles
that tangle deep in my mind, body and soul?
I shake with vengence when time turns its face from me.
Time has no time for me
and she takes me by the hand and wastes my life away
with endless heartbreak and drunken whores and buffoons,
who care only about themselves.
The evil souls burn away,
and their blind eyes do not see what they do to others' hearts and souls.

I believe the strangeness of me is that I love too much,
and care too much to actually open my eyes and see what burns away
infront of my very eyes.
I only see what my heart wants to see
my romantic side kills me away,
while my physical being is falling apart with heartbreak and sorrow.
The strange part is,
love was never there to be found,
and the strangeness of me,
is that I love too much to see blue eyed death coming to get me.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Hate My Life

I hate my life,
Because of all this
strife,
I just wanna take a
knife,
And end this life,


Details | Couplet | |

It is what it is

I have endured life's up's and down's,
I keep to myself and don't make a sound.

I fight with my thoughts every single day,
nothing I do helps make it go away.

It's been a long road and a hard one to follow,
now I am at a dead end and my heart is hollow.

You can call me a coward but your not me,
I don't want your pity so just let me be.

Thank you for the help you all tried to give,
I can't take anymore I no longer want to live.

I feel that suicide is the answer for me,
it's time to release my demons and set me free.


                                                             

                                                                  March 27,2013


Details | Lyric | |

Meet Me At The Gates

Standing across from damien
whom had been his lover for yea
He takes his heart out of his chest
And places it in Damiens hands
Kurt says "this heart belongs to you"
He askes Damien "do you want it?"
Damien places Kurts heart in his hands
"i dont"
Kurt throws it to the ground and stomps on it
Looking down at his crumpled heart a tear 
Falls from his cheek
He starts walking away
He falls to his knees
Like suffocating
Damien runs over to him
But is blocked by a black mist
Damien stands there whispering
"Kurt come back"
Kurt stands up and places his heart
Into Damiens pocket
As Kurt turns and walks away
The sky opens up
And kurt rises to the clouds
A few years later Damien joins him up at the gates


Details | Light Poetry | |

Awakening

The funeral of a friend
is a rude awakening
for a man contemplating suicide.


Details | Rhyme | |

Depression

My journey pulls me upward
Out of places of despair
The darkness lies in wait
Round the corner it is near
When lifes’ sorrows get too many
And pile upon my back
The darkness will again return
And poise for its attack
And when it called those I loved
It was ruthless in its game
It took the breath from everyone
And called them out by name:
Paul, Jay, James, Ralph
R.I.P.

8-31-14 for confessionalism contest


Details | Rhyme | |

Death Came Calling

On this stormy night I pray 
Let my sins be washed away
The clouds are thick 
Not a star in sight
On this cold and stormy night
A stain on my pillow 
Where tears fell like rain
No more sorrow
No more pain
A dark figure beckons me to come
Whispering that this life is done
No more sorrow 
No more pain 
For I shall perish in the rain
Lured into the darkness
Searching for the light
On this cold and stormy night

 
 


Details | I do not know? | |

The suicidal girl and the mean guy

Why tell people in advance?
Do you want them to feel guilt?
For not loving you, listening to you?
Why hurt them? Revenge?
Yes, the world has hurt you,
It can be cold and mean.
So you do have the power
to make a lot of people feel guilt.
You want to leave the world, hurting people?

So you weren’t loved as a child, 
a lot of us weren’t. When you grow up
you learn it is not about others loving us,
it is about the love we give others.
You cant make the world love you, 
but you can bring love into the world. 
That’s why you have a heart. 

Every major religion agrees suicide is bad for the soul
In the west, we call it purgatory,
you sit alone, in a dark place, and feel,
you feel guilt, shame, hurt, and loss.
God isn’t there, the angels aren’t there
It’s more alone than you are now,
feeling 1000 times worst,
and the only thing you can do is feel it,
go into the emotions and purge them
until you are capable of loving again,
giving love to others, that is.
Only, then can you even be near an angel or god.
A soul with no love, cannot even be in God’s presence.
That is why purgatory exists, to purify a soul of its selfishness

Here is your cure, 
Go help some people worse off than you.
Look into their eyes, feel their suffering,
share theirs with them, listen to their pain,
radiate love to them, be quiet and listen
As you give to them, you heal.....

Write poems of how you feel, 
your life experiences, stop writing suicide stuff...
Take your pain and put it into the art,
go deep, make yourself cry. 
If the poem doesn’t hurt you, it’s not deep enough. 
Write some on beauty that make you feel it..

Pray for the planet and all the people in pain
Imagine your heart glowing love, healing it all.

Forgive everyone that has hurt you.
Anger will burn a hole in your heart. 

Face your fears, go out in the world
heal it, make it a better place

This is your mission here..............


Details | Rhyme | |

Teardrop

They escape
One by one
Gathering speed
They begin to run

The last drop falls
No more inside
One silent heave
Until I die

My heart lays broken
My heads a mess
An empty shell
Is all that's left

No more tears
No more fight
No more questions
I say goodnight 


Details | Free verse | |

Project Manager Needed ASAP

She was the shrink
I was crazy
Depressed is the clinical name
All I wanted was a blood bath
With me as the victim
Perhaps a leap from a tall building (I’m afraid of heights)
Or a good old fashion hanging (keep with tradition)
Overdose (seems too easy)
Maybe the classic razor to the wrist (to cliché)
Gun shot to the head (to messy)
None of these would due
It needed to be creative.
I wanted to go out like Fred Astaire and Gene Kelley
Dancing madly backwards 
In the rain, of all places for Christ sakes
And get run over by the A Train.
While Count Basie’s Orchestra is swinging its ass off
Or Sting is singing Roxanne.
It needs to be like a wedding, a celebration if you will
"Bon voyage Mr. Kilmer you’re off to the darkness
Send us a postcard if you can.
We understand, but if anyone can do it you would be the one!"
Then of course there’s the note…
How many people can you thank or make cry?
It would be like the Emmy’s where you get cut off by some crummy music
I mean sweet Jesus can’t a person just say a few words on his own behalf
And not have to deal with rules and regulations?
There is nothing in this world that is easy.  
I can’t even die without a project manager and a caterer.
Seems like such a waste of time.
Maybe I’ll have my toenails painted instead.


Details | Free verse | |

Battling Addiction

The white dragon hunts you.
With eyes of a predator, ever watching.
Waiting in the dark shadows to strike.

I have chased this dragon before.
For he has haunted me, as well.
Many a lifetime ago.
That you did not know.

There is terror in my heart.
I want to scream, run!
But you will not hear me,
Over the roar of his breath, 
or the promise of more.

Your choice binds you to the chase.
No spell I can cast will be enough to save you,
Beautiful boy.
I can only stand here,
 and watch, 
as this dragon looms 
over your poisoned mind, 
and weakened body.

You are running out of time.
The chaos is closing in.
Gripping you tighter every time.
I cannot stand to watch.

My heart dies a thousand deaths.
You must run.
Please, I beg of you, for all you are beautiful boy.
I don't want to watch you slip into the past,
As you fall prey to the dragon.
Run!!

GypsyofEssence


Details | ABC | |

tear drop

Light as a feather, sensing the wind passing fast
And feeling free from everything at last
Happiness and joy have found their way
And in her soul they’ll forever stay
The long trail of memories passing by
Every word he said and every lie
Everything that was hunting her was gone
Leaving her spirit pure and as white as a swan
All her emotions were confused
To this big mix of feelings she wasn't used
Should she laugh? Should she cry?
Nothing matters anymore when you’re in the sky
But now she’s had enough and wants to stop
And it’s too late because she hit the ground like a tear drop.


Details | Lyric | |

im yours

Ever feel like your world is crashing right before your eyes?

Everyone is just in a still mode

you go up to speak to them

And they just stand there

Not saying a word

not even blinking

Like your world has frozen

I'm your pain when you can't feel

I'm your eyes when you must kill

I'm your voice when you must lie

I'm the fear that fills your brain

I'm yours when the world falls apart

I'm the sadness when you are depressed

I'm the numbness when you can't heal

I'm the sharpness of the blade in which u cut

I'm the bullet that pierces your heart

I'm yours when your world has fallen apart.




Details | Lyric | |

Bruise

bruise bruise bruise 
cut 
bruise bruise bruise 
cigarette burn 
bruise bruise bruise 
cut
bruise bruise bruise
broken heart 
bruise bruise bruise 
distracted mind.


Details | I do not know? | |

Conviction

Innocents is purity, which evil preys.
To endure such beings may leave one in decay.
Anger and hate will fill your mind, weakness seeping down your spine.
Fear gives in, you can not breathe and can not stand.
Darkness overwhelming with the end at hand.

A reaper comes to collect your spirit.
But on this day you need not fear it. 
A helping hand he comes to give, he sees purity and light deep with in. 
Pick yourself up young lad and breathe deep, your life has meaning if you seek.
Your mind is poisoned and your heart frail. 
Stay steadfast your light will prevail.

Your conviction is strong, it never falters.
Take your pain and build alters.
Around your heart to ward off the dark.
Your almost there, protect your spark.
From the evil that dwells in your mind,
Leave it there and don't be blind.

Enjoy the beautiful things in life.
So you may better understand your strife.
For the road to glory is long and treacherous.
Do not fear because you are dangerous.
Armor thick forged in pain, spear of light leaving blood stains.

Do not fear the beast with in, control it and give it name.
Listen to the vibrations, now take aim.
He is your spear, your love is the light. 
Protect the innocent and fight.

Glory comes, but does not wait.
To seek it out is to seek my fate.
Innocents cries, evil feeds.
A spear of light is what I will be.
Piercing the darkness of evil deep,
Until glory comes so that I may sleep.


Details | I do not know? | |

Pessimist

How do you expect me to be less of a pessimist and more of an optimist. When you’re pessimistic about my optimism.


Details | Lyric | |

Grave Yard

Your eyes shut tight
Hearing a sound
Your heartbeat races
You can feel the little pieces 
Bleeding through
The hairs on your arms
Stand up
Closing your eye lids shut
Keeping them from opening
Reaching your hand over
To turn on the light
Once you do
You open your eyes
And nothing is there
Your heat beat dies down
And your back to feeling alone

Walking to the graveyard 
Going there as you
And leaving there as someone else
You can feel them all around you
Grasping unto you
And never letting go
Places parellel
You know its something paranormal

You decide not to stay
You feel yourself start to fade away
pretty soon everything
will be back where it belongs

The ghost grabbed unto your depression
And it slowly killed you
From the inside out
Now you are in the graveyard


Details | Ballad | |

To Love Not

To Love Not

Hateful thoughts fulfilled
Breathing with the sea
Watching lovers loving
Wishing it was me
What has become
This person
So proud So kind
Loving to love
Doing things right
Rising above
Now just hateful thoughts fulfilled
Breathing with the sea
It's these
Stalking red shadows
Piercing black holes
Feeling this war taking my soul
Wanting to die 
But willing to live
Provoking my enemy
To laugh is to give
Wanting this wave
Wanting it over
Give me "The End"
Death be my lover
The more powerful this wave
The more it intimidates my drive
Like fire burning fire
"Fire" out loud I cry
I will always be alive
So fierce Such force
All cracked up 
Below the pendulum
Of my splintered spine
Now just hateful thoughts fulfilled
Breathing with the sea
These stalking red shadows
And pierce these black holes
Hatred for lovers
And hate builds my soul
I just want to die
I don't want to live
Prevoking my enemy
To laugh is to give
Death come besiege me
Please set my soul free
It's death now inside me
Soon gone I will be
So stare and stare
And stare at them all
It's me that I hate
So it's me that must 
Fall..

  by Christian Alexander


Details | Lyric | |

End It

End It
By: IzaDonna

My demons crouch real low
Seeping out of me real slow
The pain protectively covered
Darkening memories like no other
But I hide behind a smile
This life not seeming worth while
The blade I have is ready to go
Life already being at an all time low
So bring on the darkness
i no longer have a purpose

Chorus
I push you away to protect you
My sickness n pain being nothing new
So save yourself from my sorrow
Cause I won't live to see tomorrow
You deserve someone better
So let me be and go find her

Loneliness is my own choice
Feeling so lost with no voice
So I let each day slip by
Everyday just wanting to die
What have I become
Where did all this pain come from
Being left alone is my desire
The spark going out in my fire
My days I feel are at an end
Too far gone to possibly mend

Chorus

So bring on the darkness
I've lost my purpose


Details | ABC | |

You Left because of me

You left?
Why?
Because of me is it?
It was all my Fault was it?

I did Everything for you to love me,
I did Everything for you to accept me,
I did it all because I love you
But why?How could you?!

You left and break the Promise,
Which you were suppose to not Break it,
Your words were all a Lie was it?
And This is Just a Game then you`ll end it

I was just a Replacement,My Love
and YOU slap it on my Face like how it hurts
I tried and Tried to Move on,
But it still hurts

You were Mad because of a Worthless Lie,
You were mad just like how someone Died
But My Dear,You don`t need to Prove it on me
`cause I know I`m not the perfect one to thee

And Now may I tell you this,
That my Love is never Ending,
Whenever you hurt me
It just makes me love you more...

It makes me Feel heaven to fall for you,
But your life was in hell when I did too
So now I`m leaving and won`t come back
Because you left me Because of me.


Details | Personification | |

Throes

Titbit scars to feed emotions crimson;
In Her gloomy heart by her wet season.
As Her solstice endorses a greasing red,
She revels off a goad instead...

To each bliss cusp she gladly deflowers,
I cavort rue to each rose's hour;
As fingertips writhe in snow-white flesh
the sate of Love's cappella caress...

My emotions ascend to a God with black wings,
And soon this soul taken from pentacle rings.

But first I am descending before Her throne,
Her chest still racks that abyssal stone!
Prurient crucifixion of an annulled witch hunt.
Nascent Shangri to Her mire c*nt.

Her emotions strong enough to splendour fires,
This libertine forges Her foreplay desires.
Taken of the pulpit by a tyrant crevasse,
Splay out on an Oratory's cerise glass.

As she leers like the silver Moon...

I sprawl to Her with greatest tempt,
Only for me to feel contempt!
I scream ''You are my salvator'' as,
Blood pours where my sanguinary blade caress...


Details | Senryu | |

Suspended

Rope around my neck,
I fall, waiting for blackness.
Bliss. Eternal sleep.


Details | Lyric | |

In Another Light

The best thing you can do about a suicide is understanding it.

The boy opens the door and walks by his mom
his mom says "how was school"
He doesnt respond 
he walks silently to his room
His mom turns away in sadness
"its dinner time Kurt" she yells up the stairs.
He walks slowly down the steps
Hiding something in his hand as he puts it in his pocket
His mother is setting the table
Putting meat on his plate 
He sits down unto the seat
not touching his food
"is there something wrong with it?" his mom asks
He doesnt look at her
"talk to me. why have you been ignoring me" she repeats.
He gets up off the chair and walks outside
Walking into the woods as his mom runs out
"get back here where are you going"

Every living thing dies alone." he writes in white on a tree in there back yard
He throws the rope over the toughest branch
He steps up unto a little chair
Tying the rope around his neck
The chair falls

His mom worries in panic
She cant find him anywhere
She waits up all night

The Next Morning"

She walks out to the garden
Looking up at a tree
She sees the fallen chair from behind a tall bush
She runs
Picking up the chair
Seeing the thing she never thought would have happened
She falls to her knees
A tear falls from her cheek
Not understanding 
Reading the words on the tree
Every living thing dies alone"
She wonders
Thinking
Crying

She untangles him from the tree and holds him
Talks gentle to him
Something she hasnt done in a while
Now grasping the meaning behind what he has done

The best thing you can do about a suicide is understanding the meaning behind it.


Details | Free verse | |

No More

No More

Feeling abrupt,
Like a volcano ready to erupt
My soul a hurricane swirling
Around my empty mind and cruel
And forgotten soul.

Pain, feelings so strong,
It cannot be described
On a page with a pen.
I snatch the lunar eclipse
Away,
And beauty of the heart goes away,
No sight, no sound;
No pain, no sorrow;
No smile, no frown;
No anything, no everything.

A soul so black,
A heart so weak,
That love is long gone,
And will never return.

No pain is worth feeling,
And no pain such that I hold
Is worth writing away,
No use in finding love again,
When faced with heartbreak
One thousand times before.
No more pain, no more sorrow.

I shall go and sleep away the time,
Till Death comes calling my name,
And lilacs and violets litter my way,
And a single ruby hearted rose
Dries up and slowly dies away.

-10/3/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

My cobain smile

I want to drown my urge to die
I want to kill my pulse inside
I can't breathe, I'm paranoid
Everything in life I avoid

Don't speak to me, I'll look away
Inside my eyes is just decay
 I'm already dead, but have yet to die
Why do I keep my body alive

My soul is dead, eyes are lies
So is the smile I hide behind
Pull the plug, I'm a fake
In a nightmare and I cannot wake

Drown me! I'm flooded in pain
Please help me regain
Some peace, some rest 
I want to die to live again

Set me free 
Slitting my wrists isn't working
The more stares I get
The more I become numb
I just need to be gone
Eliminate my pain, 
I'm already out of breath 
Suffocating on my hopelessness

Every day I am alive 
But I'm craving to die inside
Curved smile because your so naive
You think I'm happy 
Yet I'm being crushed
My head is overflowing 
With these thoughts that are too much

One word, suicide
Sparks a light inside of my eyes

I don't want to pretend to live
Let me go, flood me in sin
There is where I want to swim
Six feet under the ground

Don't be selfish 
And keep me in pain
To tourture my lifeless body again
Let my body float soundly
Rushing water, ocean salt
I promise I won't feel it at all.

End it, hold me under 
Then bury me so I can slumber
Goodbye lifeless eyes
As I'm dying I'll be coming alive
Haunting images 
Deleted from my mind
Laughing 
As I leave this world behind

Water 
Floods my lungs 
Death 
Leans in for a kiss

Together we sink into insanity
And drown in infinitys abyss. 


Details | Free verse | |

Left Behind

LEFT BEHIND

Let me come with you. Don’t
leave me here. Waking each 
morning forgetting, between sleep 
and wake, that you have gone 

My body, confident that if I reach 
for you across the lonely bed you 
will be there warm and sleepy. 
Skin smooth clean and sweeter 
than any man has a right to be

Turning to you with my triumphs, 
my hurt, my happiness, my 
defeat. Taken for granted, the 
sharing now lost forever 

Laughter delights the heart but the 
art of causing another to laugh is 
the true joy. All lost
 
I still smell your cigarette smoke, 
hear your voice, and feel your 
foot fall, your presence so solid 
that I speak aloud to you 

Cursing you for leaving me, 
pleading with you to return, 
begging that fate turn the clock 
back, beseeching that events be 
rewritten, different, so at the last 
possible moment, I will save you

Trisha Sugarek
Butterflies and Bullets
.


Details | Free verse | |

Titless Girl

This reality is a titless girl:
Nothing to offer superficially;
But if I peeped under her breast,
I'd receive what'd put my soul to 
rest.
Sadly, I haven't the greatest of 
senses
To blow my fallible beliefs out of my 
ear;
What's offered underneath will stay 
in the rear.





Details | Rhyme | |

The Right to Die

The train comes through each night here
Six and eight and nine o' clock
With a horn so loud we're accustomed now 
To pausing when we talk

A stroke of horrid luck
Has turned these tracks dark red before
And the conductors' hands still tremble 
And in their heads the breaks still roar

And every single dismembered figure
Made the first responders cry
But they were not all an accident 
Some went to the tracks to die

Like the weary man with lung cancer 
Who didn't want to drown
Like the aids patient who found the strength 
To lay his wasted body down

Like the girl who fought leukemia
And was losing all too slowly 
She left her wheel-chair at the park
And prayed to God the train was rolling

It's from the morphine legislation
With only rights to pull the plug 
When hope is gone the pain goes on
Regardless of the drugs 

It's true we have the right to live 
And we can fight to stay alive 
But it's not over till it's over
Cause we don't have the right to die 

By 
Kyle Ezra Kriticos


Details | ABC | |

The Tide

The wave are turning and I want 
To pull you from the tide, 
You go under, yet you use
The blue-black water to hide.

What are you hiding from? 
There's nothing to fear in this world.
Don't you want to curl up with me,
In love, tangled and furled?
Don't you want to breathe your last,
In a place you feel serene?
Don't you want to watch your family grow,
Your children reach their dreams?

Your conscience, it takes over.
You want to just lie down.
You want to go in peace and quiet,
Where you can't hear a sound.
It's not a choice between life and death,
But a choice within your mind.
You cannot search for who you are,
If you decide to hide.

I look at you, you look at me,
And it's all so surreal.
The worst is holding onto your soul, 
But, nothing you can feel.

I know you want to touch the bottom,
And surface to the top.
But you're convinced that there is no way,
You'd ever want to stop.

I know you want to break free,
And swim back onto land.
Even though you tell yourself
That you won't stand a chance.

Don't tell me any differently,
I can see it in your eyes.
You want to live, you want to love,
Do it all before you die.

It's not your time to leave this Earth,
And fly into the sky.
Let's get you dry and take you home,
No sorrys or goodbyes. 





Details | Lyric | |

Beside you in time

Standing facing you
As you face me
The words fall out of your mouth
I see them float to my ears
I read them as they fly by me
Leaving me 
Just like you are
You turn to me
And you shot me
Telling me to dig the bullet
Out of my heart
I reach inside my heart
As it crumbles apart
Into a million pieces
As i try to pick up all the pieces
I realize some are missing
And were neverto be found
I see myself
Holding the bullet
As im standing next to you
Holding up a fake smile
Things havent changed
Because
We were meant to be
Even tho you left me
I will be standing 
Beside you in time


Details | Limerick | |

death is good

oh give me a rope
with a noose that is loose 
and i'll tie it up on a beam

then give me a pill
that will give me a thrill 
and i'll end it all on a high

Death Death is the way 
for life is to sucky to play

so give me a gun
that is loaded for fun
and i'll blow my brains far away


Details | Couplet | |

Nightmare of a Pilot

Gazing with a distant soft saddened stare,
Locked in a zone and I'm staring out there. 

Trampling emotions are mangling my soul.
A pilot flying solo with no self control. 

Headfirst - a nose dive in progress.
Thinking twice - a complex process. 

Falling aimlessly constant flashbacks in mind. 
Gusting wind rushing my eyes forcing them blind. 

Gravity's strong pull is more than my own.
No turning back, a decision full blown. 

Ground zero near, it's closing in fast.
Seconds from death, my breath at its' last. 

I'm screaming so loud I wake myself up. 
A nightmare repeated, my mind is shook up. 

- Yours Truly


Details | Senryu | |

Think about it

            A shaking razor
      A hand full of pain killers
            A life we will miss


Details | Rhyme | |

The Cry of Suicide

A silent cry never heard,
A fleeting idea never disturbed
A Shadow hidden face flowing with tears
A decisive thought laced with fear.

The thought of being forever alone and lost in shame,
Depression clouding her reason ruled only by ending the pain

A lonely stolen night they found her cold on the floor;
Her pain gone now forevermore
But the pain we feel still bleeds raw within 
Asking each other why she wanted her life to end

Death is rarely rejoyceful; never the right time, always too young
But her fire burnt out before it had even begun.

As the tears fall from her loved ones' eyes
Looking upon the loved soul that will never again rise
Goodbye and we pray you find happiness, peace, and love.
We walk away and thank the Lord for giving us the best friend we could ever dream of.


Details | Free verse | |

Lonesome Tragedy

Name: Rightful Jack
Date: 08/11/1934

Dear Reader:

I see the lonesome, washed up, tragedy...
My people, the children, meant nothing to them...
Sacrifice my palms with the blood of one thousand sons...
Analytic substances, known as the air we breathe...
There is no longer peaceful currents, the sea is now a liquid black...
The storms were greasy, the fires were oblique, every word was bled...
They always perceived error in our effort...
But no harlequins were in our already dead, hellish survival...
No one else can be held liable...
The undeniable stench of the deceased mothers...
One man regurgitates his bowl of slop...
Another procreates his remedies of the red drenched taupe...
I love this poem :')


Details | Rhyme | |

Waiting For The Angel

In this pool of blood I lie
Awaiting the Angel of Death to come nigh
So many tears of crimson I've cried
But there were too many shed on this night
I did not want to cut deep inside
But what's done is done and now I try
To stay awake and glimpse death coming by
Before life drains and I greet the other side
What will be waiting? I wonder as I die
I had heard tales of palaces in the sky
Of angels and Gods and all else you would find
In the imaginative corner of someone's mind
But I don't think that is what I will find
Laying here dying I notice that my
Mind races with thoughts of my ended life
Of all the things I never tried
And all the times I cried and cried
Of all the moments I wished I would die
Now all I want is a little more time
But I can feel the slipping of mine
Reminding me that the end is nigh
I wonder if the Angel of Death will fly
To take me to death where I will now reside


Details | Free verse | |

One Day

Can you please wake up?
It’s been so long since I’ve seen your face.
I miss the gentle raspiness of your voice
And the sweet taste of watermelon on your lips.
Your words give me a reason to live.
They wrapped me within a blanket of optimism
Every time you spoke.
I understand the reason why you had to leave,
But you couldn’t even say goodbye to me,
Because you left so suddenly
Why do you have to be so far?
I constantly call you hoping you’ll pick up .
I text you hoping you’ll somehow respond.
But I know you won’t even bother.
You’re off doing bigger and better things,
And I can’t stop you from living your life the way you wanted.
I occasionally walk by your old house,
And reminisce on the memories we shared in that abandoned home.
Like your mom making us homemade lasagna,
And stealing kisses when she turned her back.
But all that is just a faded memory.
Every time I think of you,
My tears flood the corners of my eyes.
I just wish I can kiss your scars one last time,
But the most recent cut
Took you away from my arms,
And moved you to a permanent place amongst the stars.
So I’ll give you this single rose above your grave.
As I promise to see you again.
One day.


Details | Rhyme | |

Box of Sharp Objects

All my secrets hidden
In the color of red
Filled with my sharp objects
That I keep under my bed

No one would ever know
I look happy don't I
But I'm not because I have a secret
So I look alive

Full of life they said
But I'm not
I'm dead
But I fought

Fought against myself
But how could you ever win 
That's the problem you don't
You die with every sin

No one knows why or how
And for a second they care
But they never really did
All they did was stare

So I grab my box
Soon see blood running down my skin
That's when I feel alive
But I still could never win

Win my own battle against myself
So I just listen to the rattle
Of my sharp objects


Details | Blank verse | |

Cliff

Near the end of the edge, truth is there is no end,
But only a different story into which I descend.
A drop so high, seemingly endless,
But I am near the edge of my life’s end.
Falling alongside the wall of time,
Truth is there is no wall, but only a cliff to grip 
As my soul slips into death as I breathe my last breath.


Details | Rhyme | |

Bullying

( BULLYING )

Billy thompson got picked on at school, they always would take his money.
They would call him names like Fat Albert, and thought that it was funny.
Billy was angry so he told his mom, but she thought that he was lying.
He guessed that she didnt care, even though every day he would be crying.

This went on for many days, he tried to tell his teachers.
They said dont tattletale, that he had some stunning features.
Billy was mesmerized, he didnt know what to do.
He couldnt walk around all day, feeling sad and blue.

That Thursday was herendous, the name calling it just grew.
After school he got into a fight, and ended up black and blue.
His mother said he probably deserved it, you shouldnt pick a fight.
So billy thought long and hard, before he went to sleep that night.

He went to school the next day, he had a surprise inside his coat.
He wasnt going to get picked on any more, on the paper was all he wrote.
The bullies came as usual, and Billy`s face got read.
He pulled a gun out of his coat, and shot himself in the head.


Details | Blank verse | |

Tied for shortest story ever

Broken promises
Makes noose
feels regret


Details | Rhyme | |

A Suicide Story

A room silent and filled with pain
I'm about to go insane
My head can't think of anything
Except the heartache this day brings
Why does this happen way to often
Flowers placed upon a coffin
Of a sad and innocent soul
That just went out of control
Not knowing to ask for help
Trapped and lost inside herself
Keeping pain locked up inside
Till she could no longer hide
From a past of pain and torture
She can't deal with no longer
A single bullet in a gun
One loud shot and it is done
Friends, co-workers and family
Question why they could not see
The demons in this young girls heart
Tearing her whole world apart
Building up until the day
She made it all go away
Blood dripping on walls and floor
Nothing hurts her anymore


Details | Free verse | |

Come Morning Light

I stepped off the porch unsteady
A memory had crossed my mind again
And I began to unwind
Come morning light, I'll be gone

Its been six years now
And I still think of you
And what might have been
What should have been
And that which will never be
Come morning light, they'll be gone

Shaking, I slide down that wall as slowly
As the rivers flowing from my eyes
Six years now and without fail
Every year the sky weeps with me
Come morning light, it will be gone


I pound my fists into the wood
Tiny splinters in my skin
And in my heart
Not hard enough to break
But to rattle me to my bones
And maybe leave a few bruises
Come morning light, they'll be gone

What lies before my eyes?
Nothing but half mown yard
And a broken lawnmower
With a broken owner
With a broken heart
Left by a broken man
Come morning light, he was gone

And tomorrow will leave 
Me with lingering doubts
And guilt trips aplenty
Should I have stopped you
Could I have? Could we?
I ache to remember
Tremble trying to forget
And come morning light, you were gone

The shed door blows shut
And a howling wind takes over
I shiver and stand defeated
The echos of the past running through
My mind as it rewinds
Come morning light, it shall be gone

---------------
This is one of the very few that comes from my heart completely. 
The aftermath of a suicide from six years ago. It still hurts. 


Details | Sijo | |

Intimidated

Wandering amongst the darkness, my life was in jeopardy
A pack of stealthy ferocious wolves, were stalking me like cattle
Slitting my throat in fear, blood dripped in pools for the rabid canines












*First attempt at Sijo!*


Details | Rhyme | |

Screeching Tires

Crushing of metal, 
The sound of breaking glass, 
Smell of hot engine oil 
And the heat from burning gas. 

All mental control was lost, 
Head throbbing from emotional pain, 
Vision clouded with remorseful tears 
As anger pulsed through swollen veins 

Shaking hands violently shifted gears 
As dangerous speeds were angrily reached, 
As hurting words echoed in ears 
And treacherous corners made tires screech. 

The road was slick with rain, 
And the body numb with heartaches pain, 
Unaware of red lights flashing, 
Ears deaf to the oncoming train 

Taken from this world 
In the proverbial blink of an eye, 
Without any justification 
Or a clear reason why. 

Was it all just for love 
Or was it for a lie? 
Was it due to selfishness and pity? 
Or an unwillingness to even try? 

Was it fate or just a random event? 
It’s too puzzling yet to decide, 
Because for all anyone really knows 
It could have been an act 
Of emotional suicide 


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Monkey's day

The monkey, that’s me,
The monkey that pretends to be free.
So happy to have his day,
To hear the cheers, the laughs,
And you looking my way.

Laughing at the faces I make,
My clever tricks, the cakes I bake,
Clapping resounds in my ears,
And blows away my silent tears.

It’s the monkey’s day,
No matter how many tricks I play,
A monkey I will stay.

I will always be locked up in my little cage,
I may shake the bars in sorrow or rage,
But I need  the peanuts they throw in my face,
I need their laughing to avoid disgrace.

A little monkey, with monkey hopes and monkey dreams,
Monkey desires and monkey schemes,
Monkey wishes his fears away,
Monkey longs for a better day.

Sometimes I take myself so seriously,
As if I’m very important really,
I dress up as if I’m real and proud,
And strut around my head in a cloud.

I pretend that I’m important for you and the world,
I drink up the laughter the applause of the girls,
Just before I realise my dilemma,
My cloths are too small my act is a failure.

Sometimes they pick my cage up and move it around,
Sit it the wall or put it on the ground,
Sometimes they take me out in the sun,
Or swing it around to have some fun.

But most of the time they forget that I’m here,
Here in the dark of a thousand years.
Alone waiting for you to come home,
Searching the horizon for your grave stone.

In fact there’s nothing left at all,
In my monkey brain they nailed to the wall.
Does a monkey have a soul?
Am I for real or really just a hole.

Will I wake up and disappear?
Will I wake up and become thin air?
That will really be the day,
The day the monkey got away.

My last trick, they didn’t see nor even care,
The day the monkey dissolved in thin air.

No more shaking my cage in despair,
No more pretending that I am here,
No more strutting about, making a noise,
No more playing with my plastic toys.

I will disappear and no one will see,
Nor even remember a faint memory of me,
They’ll put the empty cage on the wall,
And my ghost will eat the peanuts they let fall,
As they continue to wonder, laugh  and clap,
At the empty cage, dead monkey on your lap.

Full version at :
http://labyrinthoflies.com
Spoken also at: http://youtu.be/ig26KyXpbyE


Details | Free verse | |

Old Man Whither

Old man Whither…
The chair with a rickety rock…
He sits, swift with movement not…
He holds in hand, the trigger with a plot…
You hear the fancy clocks sound…
Tick Tock…
Tick Tock…
The movement grows closer…
Slowly seeking in…
The chime of the fancy clock…
Its Whither’s time to end…
The barrel is now perfect…
Aligned with his lonely chin…
Pull the sound slightly…
Pause…
Hesitant to snap the wind…
Whither kneels his head in shame…
“I cant do it!” he says, wanting to cower…
The blur is growing nearer, and closer…
Drowning down, dead as a nail…
Whither now, beginning to care…
“You know this place…”
Said the timid liquid in a dare…
Whither did not answer…
His reality, beginning to tare…
Soulless he sleeps…
Old Whither went forth…
Ventured on to a indescribable mention…
The white room was waiting…
The white room was bold…
Whither ...


Details | Rhyme | |

3 - Messenger from the Dead

In Hell where I may reside,
if death is not on my side.
Hunger that weeps to no end,
this darkness within my den.

As you enter my palace of pain,
fear not if you have not to gain.
Though previous life proved not,
judgement upon fears are sought.

And so the righteous shall avenge,
in my domain that seeks a revenge.
Cannot escape a wrath left in wake,
my vengeance is all that keep sake.

When I merge the dead with your dreams,
absolute power amongst all that screams.
Should a hundred years from my death,
not exist within the truth spoken breath.

Thus my soul is sacrificed for trading,
greatest power in all my soul waging.
Shall this price not be enough to pay,
the wicked shall cower before I prey.


Details | Free verse | |

Alone in Darkness

I sit alone in darkness
Dripping blood
Like midnight rain
So dark I think 
This can’t be real
The prostitutes are shivering
Leaning on the bar
They look and turn away
I call their names out softly
But soon they turn to clay
My mind upon the bible
As my dreams begin to decay
In midnight dreams I am trapped
And you’re so far away
I grasp the cross upon my chest
And put it to my lips
A final kiss before I go
A wish upon your soul
Save me now
And I’ll be true
Please don’t damn my soul


Details | I do not know? | |

Why me

Why me
Why me dear god 
Why the hell me!
I did all you asked 
I’ve even played the card 
Of a good girl, the one 
Everyone wanted me to be.
Why can’t you save me.
I’m hurting immensely 
And no one care not even slightly.
How could you allow me to fall 
So deep, so far into misery.
I’ve grown to hate myself so much so
I’m that demon within the angel 
That you see.
I’m crying out for help
And not once did you show me sympathy.
Like everyone else you pretend to care
My prayers are just words you refuse to here.
You watched the tears ran down my cheeks
And didn’t send an angel to watch over me.
I don’t want to be part of this world anymore
Just set me free….
Sleeping forever is where I are to be.

05/05/09


Details | Limerick | |

Big Fat Looser

I Am a Big Fat Looser

Oh I am a big fat looser
I don’t deserve to live
I need someone to take a Gun
And shoot me till I’m dead

Yes I am a big fat looser
I really want to die
I’m looking for a violent guy
To shoot me in the eye

Oh I am a big fan looser
I really have to say
If this is life I realize
I hate it every day

Yes I am a big fat looser
And life is just the pits
I am a guy that wants to die
Not live another day

Oh I am a big fat looser
I really hate this life
If you do not  have a gun
Then maybe use a knife

Yes I am a big fat doofus
I really have to say
If suicide is painless
Well then maybe that’s the way

Oh I am a big fat doofus
I live in misery
But I don’t have the courage
Or I’d blow myself away

I really am a doofus
I’ve one more thing to say
If anyone is listening
Then shoot me right away
So I can die today


Details | Blank verse | |

As The Other Me Takes Over

Society is a reason that has just ran cold,
Like the tempature I'm feeling never seems to get ahold,
The sadness lingers over and the beauty starts to fade,
When I saw all the negative on the news today,
The darkness that is surrounding me has found a new home,
Deep inside my brain it swells trying to kill the bold,
The new found confidence I had seems to have been old,
Like the old man with the cancer that has just got told,
I know he's still with me in my heart and in my soul,
but I just can't stand what this new year has to hold,
Will it be good for me, will I see, 
All the positive, when will the demons stop to breathe?
There like vultures in my body, I can feel them feed,
All this happiness that I held, were they just a dream?
I've found a medicene that will kill the pain, of the hurt I share,
Your pain it scars me like a knife cutting threw the care,
The worry of this generation is not what it should be,
But I was left with a gift, I'm lucky too be me.
Can I be the light, In the darkness?
Can I bare the stake running threw your lungs,
Can I be the air that you breathe when the whole worlds died,
Can I be the tears in the midst of happiness you cried?
 
Please love me now and in return I'll make your life worth while,
and you won't know what is hurt, I'll heal your wounds and take you from your life,
Give you a new start and I'll set things right,
I see the innocense in a noose every single night,
I wish I could pick them off the rope so high,
What would drive them too that point,
I regret the days I spent,
Being so unhappy in the life I live,
I'm trying to be proud in a world where it's scarase,
Where children have no parents,
Where the government is only but single Tyrants,
So make my job easy and give me the knife,
That will kill these lunatics that crave the night,
That don't do whats right,
I will train in the darkness where I'm the only light,
I will rid the world of there parrell and strife.
Please god just save me tonight.


Details | Lyric | |

Son Of A Gun

I was born half human half demon
Killer of love
I was born with a gun in my hand
The Son of a gun
Satan Worshiper
A Natural Born Killer

I walk down the hallway
Hiding my gun in my trench coat
Wearing my hat backwards
My combat boots
And my army pants
Sunglasses hiding my face

I wait for you in the Library
As i approach you
You run and hide
Under a table
Me taking my gun out of my trench coat
Holding it towards your face
You cry
Your freaking out

Your last tear hits the floor
I pull the trigger
You were the guy
That made fun of me
Calling me a freak
Tripping me in the hallway

Remember throwing bloody tampons
In my face?
Calling me gay?
Telling everyone about my personal pains?
Ive got you now
You cant hurt me anymore
But i can still hurt you

Dedicated to ~4-20-99~ "Columbine Massacre"
Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold

"We can stop bullying, if we honestly tried"

"You could have prevented this school shooting, if you would have just listened to the kids who did it"






Details | Free verse | |

The Suicide

Manifestation
Like maple grass shoots
Like attack cobwebs
Like forlorn lovers
Like someone should be addressing the morbid
The end
The can't
The shouldn't
These things manifest in my hands
Like well fed baby dolls
Like those who can't get by
Like burgundy tears
Like purple lashes
That will all melt away soon too
Under moss engraved cobble stones
Like ear wigs in fresh bark
Like hard candy 
Like a digested apple skin
Like goodbye mama
Goodbye papa
Goodbye sister
Eternity to me is pomegranate juice
In the bathtub 
Like decapitated deer
Like road kill
Like the smell of burnt toast
Like frozen peas on a bone bruise
Manifesting into a heart
The heart 
Of her 
The girl saying goodbye mama
Goodbye papa 
Goodbye sister
Her kisses take the breeze
Like a leaf blower blowing leaves
Like smoke from a cigar
Like tea kettle steam
Like a house in fire
Eternity is a bath tub
A finger prick
One dead end click
Of a cell phone
A corse rope
A belt 
A necklace too tight
An anklet that doesn't fit right
A girl blowing kisses in the air saying
Goodbye mama 
Goodbye papa
Goodbye sister


Details | Lyric | |

Vices Like Prison Bars

There she remained,
Locked away,
In a prison all of her own making.
She could escape the blueprint if she wanted,
But the isolation was her only friend.
The pain whispered through the prison bars,
Wanting to be felt.
Demanding to be felt. 
She remained motionless in the stillness of night.
Locked away,
Thinking of ways to change her plight.
Her vices, they wrapped around her heels,
Like shackles, they kept her still.
Soon the pain would creep inside.
An all consuming fire,
An all consuming fury. 
We play the hand we're dealt,
And she played her game with eloquence.
The expert of deceptions.
Gone without so much as a rush of wind
Just a lovely poem crinkled in her palm.
Surrounded by the stale air,
The blood around her flowed like a stream, staining the pure porcelain and inking her paper skin. 
She played her final hand.
Won against all odds, that her fate not be determined.
Celebrate,
For you were acquainted with her presence.
Do not mourn for her absence.
Freedom, finally.
Sweet solitude.
Eternal peace and restoration.
The end hath created a new beginning.
The bones of man shall reincarnate the magnificence of this existence. 
Live on,
Live on,
Live on,
Live on.


Details | Lyric | |

A Boy Brushed Red

Slamming the door behind him
He sits
Writing his poems upon his wall
Tiny powerful words surrounding each inch of the room
Writing them in black inch
He watches as it drips to the carpet
He smiles
Wiping the blood of his face
Putting his hands to the wall
Bloody hand prints surround each poem
Dying alone on the floor
Surrounded in his blood and filth
The poems wash off from the walls
Black ink forming together on the carpet
Blood mixes with the ink
The horrific smell fills the lungs of the ones downstairs
He sinks into the carpet 
His flesh swallowed up by his words
He isn't living anymore
But he rubs off on you by his poems


Details | Free verse | |

The Black Abyss

Sinking in deeper,
No way to escape,
The dark and scary Reaper,
Fore told in the Book of Life.

Is this my end?
Will I ever see the light of day again?
No. My wounds, I must mend.
I must find my strength.

Stand my ground,
Face my fears.
Only then will my voice be found
I must survive.

Break the suffocating chains,
Run from the darkness.
Power will fill my veins.
I will Fight!

Fight the painful names,
The horrid memories,
The demented games 
And escape My Black Abyss.


Details | Free verse | |

Hello

Hello, are you there?
I cannot feel around myself
A warm tapestry birthing vague memories
Coalesce into form
My nostalgia's weight collapses on itself

Hello, are you awake?
Your formless name is on my tongue
Sneaking its path forward
Away from my mouth
I cannot bring myself to say it

Hello, are you watching?
As if I were a mist
My memory coils around you
Never to grace the skin
That I so covet

Hello, are you loving?
Cold spears of disregard
Pierce my tapestry that I so treasure
Tighter my hand grips the face
Weaker my hold fades

Hello, am I falling?
Existence is closing in
Its alien distance constricting
I see my body for the first time
Confounded that it could even be mine

Hello, am I scared?
A boiler in the mind
Breaks at the seems
Embrace the others around you
As I peel my skin

Hello, am I replaced?
I stalk my corridor
Pacing to reel in thoughts
I place the steel upon my skull
A bright flash and all is lost


I have a mouth
But cannot scream

Hello...
Hello...
Hello...


Details | Rhyme | |

Life Prolonged

I was supposed to die today
Week after week I'd withered away
I could no longer face the desperate hours
Always reminded that I have no power
I have no love and I have no hope
No more have I the ability to cope
I wanted to die and that was it
So I poured a bleach cocktail and began to sip
I added some pills just for good measure
So tired of nothing bringing me pleasure
I downed it all with a few big swallows
Then I got comfortable, knowing death should follow
I leaned back and waited for the darkness to come
And come it did, I was now gone
Or so I thought until I awoke
On a breathing machine feeling I might choke
My mother was there with pure joy in her eyes
She wanted to know why suicide I tried
She questioned what prompted this unforgivable sin
But I felt only disappointment for failing again
I wanted to die not wake up here
My only answer was a lake of tears

for contest: Surviving After Suicide Attempts


Details | Lyric | |

Long Time No See

He stands in a black room
Full of skinny women he holds dear
They stand naked with cuts and bruises
They have nothing to care for
He worships no god 
His eyes filled with hatred
He grabs a woman
Tearing her hair from her very skull
He begins to dig his nails into her eyes
Changing her into someone he can be fond of 
This is the flesh that he adores
This is the type of women he can treasure
With every nail to her chest
He idolizes her wretched screams
The darkness in his eyes
The very pain he likes to see someone endure
He desires the blood that drips from her eyes
When the dark does what the dark does best
You will come to cherish the darkness within yourself.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Truth That Was Hidden

I'm  sitting here in this room,
thinking to myself about the past.
How I had bloom...
though, it didn't last.

God, everyday I am lying.
Everyday I put on my mask.
I always end up crying
since no one dares to ask.

I stopped talking to my friends,
cut them all loose.
For this is the end,
and we all knew I would lose.

Everyone around me thinks I'm better.
since all they see are lies.
They should know better!
Even though I'm in disguise.

I put on my fake smile
and laugh along with everyone around me.
I think everyone is in denial
since they can't obviously see

They act like nothing happened.
like... I faked the whole incident.
They honestly don't know what happened,
or why I caused that incident.

They believe that I was never "broken"
just that I wanted attention.
I should have never spoken
and give them my full attention.

No one knows I've been skipping my pills,
everyone thinks I take them.
Maybe I'm saving them for the kill?
Who knows what I plan to do with them.

I throw up everyday,
only because I've grown used to it.
No one understands my ways
or why I keep quiet.

Sometimes, when I'm alone
and I see something I could use to harm myself.
I check to make sure I'm on my own
and start to look at myself.

First, I cry...because I oh so much hate my body.
Then, I hurt myself.
Proving that I am nobody.
and since I'm alone, and with no one else

I continue doing this 
until I see a drop of blood,
then it feels like bliss.
I continue sometimes, craving the blood.

Then when it gets too much,
I sit down
thinking... no one knows I do such
if they did...would they let me drown?

I bet they would.
Since everyone I have come to love, 
leaves me..just like they should.
because I'm nothing from above.

You might think I'm a blessing.
ha, I'm a curse.
I bet you were messing,
and just tried to keep it from getting worse.

but let me get this straight,
nothing you say or do,
will get me to leave this gate.
For this gate is where I was left to

be on my own.
to forget about help.
I was always alone,
never having anyone's help.

Just let me be,
I don't need your sympathy.
Can't you see?
It doesn't matter to me!

I'd rather have everyone hate me
than have you all pretend
because believe it or not, I can see
through all your acts that should come to an end.

You aren't my friend,
so leave me now.
This my end,
you mustn't know how.

I will write back soon,
for this is my only comfort.
I only shall come at the time of the moon,
for that is my hour of comfort.


Details | Free verse | |

Society


They always say you can't be beautiful
Without being skinny as a stick
But damn it society I want to be seen and I want to be...
beautiful in my own way
Before the blood drips on the floor
from the scratches in my arm
from the pain inside my heart
don't you understand

You're making this too hard on us
us girls with a little extra weight
us girls with bumps on our face
just shut up I'm sick and tired of this
This shouldn't have to be my fate

I don't want to die to be seen and heard
to be recognized as someone beautiful...
But isn't that the only way?
When a society you thought you knew is telling you that you can't be beautiful
without having to fit some social standard
that's bull*****don't you understand
That's why so many teenagers are dying every day 

I want to be pretty 
without having to change
is that too much to ask

I want to be loved 
without having to change who I am! 
By a girl instead of a man
Let me live my own life
stop telling me that I can't! 

Society you're killing us all
making us take our life because you all can't understand
that being who you are is what makes you beautiful

But we have to take a knife to our throat
to make you all see
the beauty inside of us
Can't you let us be. 

I want to be beautiful...
but I just don't know how
when everyone around me 
is telling me how to live 

Make this stop
This pain and suffering

Let us all be equal
A whole 
No more hurt
no more sorrow
no more suicide

Just make it stop...


Details | Lyric | |

Unnamed

Plugs you into my world
Turns my eyes 
Looking into my skull
Staring at my brain
Hoping to see what comes next
Takes my heart and rips it out
Dying alittle more
Shoots my gut 
And places my brain where my gut once lived
Takes my fingers and pushes them into my hand
So i just have nubs
Takes my head and crushes it
Little peices falling
Bleeding unto the ground
Dying alittle more
The unnamed feeling
Comes alive
Then it takes me away
Taking the chill off my life


Details | Free verse | |

Tree

Sitting there, staring out the window, 
I notice the rain that follows the widow.
She starts walking inside the house, wearing that dreadful blouse.
I float downstairs and hear her cry,
“My love! My sweet love! Oh where have you gone? ”
I tap her shoulder, my hands going right through her.
“Forever I miss my dear.” I whisper.
The widow stood up and walked to the window, 
To see me, by the tree, that welcomed her to the sorrow.
I wave one last time
Now it’s time to bid one last goodbye.
I disappear and float away
“I’ll sit here in despair, ” she will say.
“And never forget the tree, that murdered my dearly beloved.”


Details | Rhyme | |

Assuage Life

I'm the One to who you should pray;
I'm the Voice that shall never fade away,
I'm the Daemon that haunts your 3am sleep,
I'm the Whisper that eases your weep...

And in this novella, your lissome dreams,
I'm your nightmare; your midnight screams!
- I'm the Yeshua that can make pain fade,
I'm the abolition of the razorblade...

Clad in shadow I stalk your soul,
Invisible but yet in perfect control.
Thus let my voice be your destination
Away from a world with flawed harmonization.

So why cope with a life so bleak?
which has done nothing more but make you weak?
Take my hand and I'll assuage it,
Follow me down to Death's tethered pit...

Here we are, welcome to the Abyss,
Don't worry about people, you won't be amiss.
Give me a smile, a shotgun smile,
Don't worry about pain, atleast not for a while!

Aw, how your mind was delicately bent,
Like the Eye on the Earth's breast you'll descent,
Deep in it's crust, to Oblivion you fell;
A warm hearted welcome to Lucifer's Hell...


Details | ABC | |

Let me go

Let me go,
gently, into that sleep
where the noises cannot reach
and lies can not hurt.
let the ground covers me
with all my worries along


Details | I do not know? | |

Charon's obol

In the shadow, behind the tree, 
on the meadow, bend your knee,
down the valley, up the stream, flat bedrock,
hear me scream, bellow the heavens, toward hell,
dark tunnel, wishing well; fellow traveler listen well,
no chance given, could you tell, 
on a knife-edge, head or tail?


Details | Rhyme | |

Fallen, Once More

Oh, my dear,
Come to me.
Hear my screams,
Set me free.

I'm trapped,
Inside my mind.
I haven't snapped,
But I've gone blind.

Help me see,
I've lost my way.
You won't believe, 
What I'm about to say.

I'm stuck inside,
Once more.
I can't be your bride,
You'll find me on the floor.

I lost my voice,
When I needed care.
I had a choice,
It wasn't a dare.

I've no more air,
I took my last breath,
But to you I swear,
I'll see you after death.

*Written on November 5th, 2013


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 2-

My eyes
Refuse to see tragedy
My eyes
Marinate in dread…unable to embrace ecstasy 

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s sagging…from endless mourning  
And I’m close to my demise… 
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just let me be
Leave me alone…hand me a gun

I yearn for unspoiled glory
To make me feel perfect once more
I yearn for flawless serenity
To make me feel no regret…don’t ignore
My calls…don’t hang up on me

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just hear my plea
Listen to my excruciating cries…
Listen to the truth, not the malicious lies  
Our journey has just begun   

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me weeping?
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Eye can’t handle the stress
Let me release my horrendous distress
Eye can see you making that same mistake
At least MY life isn’t at stake

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…do You feel my lament
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…Stepped on like cement
I’m aching with discontent… I abhor this torment    
When will peace scrub off my fear?

I can’t believe my eyes
Your guiltiness flows into me…
I can’t believe I fell for your lies
Your heartless action rape my mind…you don’t see
What my EYES see…

You’ll never see 
How much pressure you put me under
Unchain me from this chamber
And watch me flee…

When will you be set free?


Details | I do not know? | |

Death

The cries in the night as you shed your tears, 
Nobody to console and hear your fears, 
The nightmares as the take control, 
Now I shall show you my other face,
Let the nightmares take your peace,
Let the damnation steal your joy,
There is nothing left for you
There was never anything here for you
Death is a note, thats beauty is black,
As the fire inside let it burn you alive,
Death is friend that will take your pain, 
Let your pain fester, and infect,
Do what you wish before I interject,
Death is brother who needs your love,
The Funeral Pyres burn your soul.
Welcome to world where damnation reigns,
We all will die someday,
And Death will one day rule us all, its inevitable why try to hide,
Never to be loved to never to love, Death is a note,
A note that rules you


Details | Rhyme | |

Trigger

I put the gun to my head 
To where all can see
But even if you wanted 
You can't stop what will be 

I pull the trigger 
And put the bullet in my head 
To where all can witness 
The blood of the dead

Some will weep 
Some will cry 
Some will mourn
And some will die 

I'm sorry for what I'd do 
I'm sorry if I might 
But there's just no use 
In showing me the light


Details | Rhyme | |

Contemplation

Remember that rhyme about sticks and stones?
How broken bones hurt more than the names that were thrown?
Remember how in grade school everyone was our valentine?
Now we can’t find the time
To gather the courage to speak our minds
About the person we want to call “mine”
Remember how we used to believe in fairy tales?
Now love fails us and broken heart strings imprison us like jail
Apparently our parents lied
When they said we’d die next to the person we loved like husband and wife
Now adolescents lie at night praying to die
Some will tie a noose
Some will bleed out and let loose
Some will grab their Dad’s gun and shoot for the moon
But I might just pop pills to kill the will to spill
Blood in the sink
And to think a bitter drink was more distinct
We all want to be adults, but as kids it just results
In insults and the real adults think our music is a cult
It’s never been said
But without music most of the youth would be dead
So we lie in bed with our headphones
Blaring until we’re deaf toned
In a dead zone now head home
This is for the poppers, the purgers, and the starvers
And the smokers and the cutters
Because we feel like we can never love another so forget the others
We live for our sisters or brothers
The ones who still have a chance at life
So we teach them to live it right
Because we know what it’s like to fight for your life every night
And you cry
Wishing someone might come and find you
And look in your eyes
And tell you how much they like you
Despite all the lies and frights you find inside of you
But you somehow keep your hopes up even if you’re doped up
You still show up to school hoping to grow up
But we just get picked on
So listen to this song
If you’re giving up on living it up
Some say suicide silences secreted screams
So drown demons deliberately within deep dreams
Very often we debate suicide as an option without caution
Since we’re going to hell we might as well drop in
Yes words hurt more than broken bone
You’re all beautiful. You just got to let it show.


Details | Imagism | |

The Pluviophile

For months, I waited to embrace her,
And then she came,
I cuddled her with no shame,
Standing naked under her presence,
Like the broken door of heavens,
She hugged me with impeccable love,
Smiled and presented a shove,
I was lost in her million eyes,
And then I begun making love with her...
Sucking her lips under her,
I opened my eyes and realized,
That every word she said, she lied,
I dint lie the only person who kissed, cuddled and made love to her...
Every person under her, she loved,
I crawled back into my abode,
Slashed my vein, and showed,
The love for her, as my blood mixed in her tears,
She wept, and there, forever, I slept.


Details | Verse | |

My Reply to Your Suicide Note

You're my favorite character
In a book that ended abruptly,
Remember our wild laughter
It's a lollapalooza interrupted.

I looked for the next book in your series,
But I discovered there was no more,
I cannot find any peace or rest,
Without some kind of closure.

It's just cruel and unfair,
You thought no one would care,
BUT I DO,
God created you perfectly,
That's all I could see
because I always loved you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Just My Mask

Of course I'm fine,
why do you ask?
Oh don't mind this,
it's just my mast,
It hides the grief,
it hides the strife,
I wear this mask, to
escape the knife,

Don't forget this,
my pain is real,
I'm not lying, this
is how I feel,
You sit there
saying, it can't be
true,
It is for me, just
not for you,

You say my heart,
must be a sight,
Cold as ice, and
black as night,
It's not my heart,
only my soul,
But killing me, must
be your goal,

You're getting
close, I hope you
know,
You really don't,
have far to go,
Soon enough, I'll
reach my end,
You'll have my soul,
to tear and rend,

But you don't know,
you never ask,
You never look,
beyond the mask,
The look on my face,
is giving me away,
I wonder now, what
will you say?

You've asked me
here, you'll know
now,
I'll take it off,
I'll take a bow...
I can't do it now,
tell you the truth,
I must keep up, my
pretense of youth,


Details | Rhyme | |

bloody red roses part 2

     She lies in a pile of bloody red roses

She left a note to her folks  saying

" I cant go on im sorry"

      It didnt say why

But still we cry

      We are all very sad

some of us are mad

       none of us are glad

She'll b greatly missed

        To me she was like a sis

But when will the rumors stop

        Noone knows the truth not even the cops

My pain is great 

       I wish we hadnt been late

But when we got there 

        there she lay 

on her already made bed of

Bloody red roses


Details | Free verse | |

Blood flows like Champaign on a Wedding Day

The poetry I write seems harsh
it seems sad and powerful,
sings songs and pslams to the sorrowful soul,
sung its song in the past of sorrow in all.

The poet's blood flows like champaign
on a wedding day of young couples in love.
Champaign that flows like rivers and streams
in the green plains of Mid West America,
and the poet writes about the land and the bird
that sings afar in a tall, old oak tree
thick at barch with experience and age.

The soul burns and cries out to be freed,
yet sits and reads poetry till the crack of dawn
in an old apartment house on the second floor,
and the rats run along the walls, and the cockroaches
in cerial boxes,
with shotgun in lape and cocked, ready to fire,
one in the chamber.
Whiskey in the lungs,
and whiskey on the ground,
in the hand
and upon the feet
of a sorrowful soul, filled with pain
and age, age full of tender love that never was discovered
by any naive soul.

One time the clock ticks and tocks,
echoes rings in an empty mind,
that echoes the sorrowed mind and tortures the pale soul.
One pull of the trigger,
and the sound of an explosion of faint silence
and a smile on a face of a dead man is shown in the light,
and watch the blood flow on the white pannel wall,
flowing like champaign on a beautiful wedding day.

Two weddings and a funeral...

-11-1-2013-


Details | I do not know? | |

In The Valley of Shadows and Death

I was born in the Valley of Shadows and Death,
They say I'm alive,
Just scars I wont forget.
I remember that kid,
An orphan that just wanted to die.
They took him to the woods,
Murdered him with a scythe.
We all have our demons and horrors to defy,
Our lust and our hate to recognize.
Save me from the only one I've ever known,
Save me from the pain of my yesterdays.
They crawl in my bed in the middle of the night,
They scream and they cry, 
Saying it will all be alright.
If I let you in yo'd just want out.
There's no one left to cry for us now.
I can't do this on my own...
Don't go...


Details | Free verse | |

Oh Well, Oh Well

I’m tired in this drop
The walls are all the same
I’m soaked now

In the midst of deteriorating
It hurts more than normal
I think it’s broken

The light up top is gone now
Just like the one down here
Oh well…  oh well.

The love inside the teardrops
Has turned to the coldest rain
Now there’s just the pain

It’s settled in my chest
Eating at my insides
Feeding at the dead lives

The end will not come quickly 
Not even quietly
For now, I just sigh at thee


Details | I do not know? | |

Living Dead Girl pt1

She lives in misery,
She goes to school where she gets bullied, pushed around, and called names,
Her parents hate her,
She has no friends, and her whole world is dark,
No one likes her,
Sometimes she wonders if anyone would care if she killed herself.
She cries herself to sleep,
A lost soul,
The one who relies on her bands and music to carry her through,
The one who grabs the razor blade,
She cuts fast, deep, and hard,
She likes the cold metal, she likes the blood that comes down,
She likes that burning feel, she loves the relief,
Many people call her a little emo *****,
All she wants is for people to leave her alone.
Many people says she does this for attention,
But all she wants is to be happy,
She thinks maybe if she ends it all,
Everyone would be happy, and live in peace,
She thinks they would never know she was gone.
She walks home from school on a rainy Tuesday afternoon,
She goes through the door, 
Right up those steps,
She takes the pills and blade out.
She takes all sixty pills of Oxycotton,
And then she starts cutting, first just across her wrist, and then she had a twist,
She painted a picture onw wouldn't surely miss,
She wrote on her arm, "All I wanted was love."
Her mother found her first,
She cried so much,
Her father came in and comforted her mum,
No tears he had shed,
Her brother came in next and fell to his knees,
He saw all the blood and knew something was up,
He asks their mum,
"Mummy why isn't sissy breathing and blood everywhere?"
She replied faintly,
"Dear, your sister was unhappy."
He was much too young to understand.
The girls that bullied you now get bullied, 
That boy that never admitted to liking you cuts and cries,
Your exfriend cries and tries committing suicide,
Your teachers try to hold it together, but lose it,
Your brother grew older and found the truth about his older sister.
The one he loved so much, and wanted to be like her,
All the pain she endured.
He found her iPod,
He takes it with him everywhere,
He remembers his sister and the bands she loved,
And now he loves them,
He cuts to rid the pain,
He only wants to be with her again.
But he carries out her legacy everyday,
Knowing that is what she would want him to do,
And he did this all thanks to her.
She's tried to stop him,
Was beside him while he cut,
Tried pushing the blade away,
She's a living dead girl,
Nothing she could do nor say, 
To make him put that blade away.


Details | Rhyme | |

Past Recollection

Another poem that I wrote alone,
Another one that blossomed from woe.
Will this be the last poem I'll writ?
The gift from the Goddess thrown in a pit?
Have I deicided the Moon's tallow dreams;
A divulged matricide to noose bind gleams.

Why is it suicide I clearly heed,
Carpe Diem, Alas I bleed.

Mother Moon have I annulled you,
or do You feel each mourning too?
One were You weren't pulled to plunder,
And vulgar glooms ain't our thunder...
Our flagrent gospel played on the violin,
Like my veins we cut the strings!

Maybe it was only more attention I required?
Ply it with the girl I vast desired...

Now frisson will our final chords,
Through the bleeding of silver swords.
The Moon hung severed and bloated high.
Hope outlast... By my inevitable nigh...

I wanted love, even if it would be paper thin,
So it wasn't only the blade to swim within!
there's no time to be afraid of fear;
'Cause I'll be hung like graveyard tears...

Death my Dark Messiah!


Details | Lyric | |

There Is No Age To Love

A meteor falls down from the stars
Catching fire the faster it falls

She sits in her new house
Sitting in the window seat
Reading a book about wild love
And how fast it grows and catches fire
She watches the meteor shower from her window
She hears a noise coming from the hallway
She creeps around the corner
As she follows the sound to the attic
She opens the creaking attic door
A young man sits before the window
In an old red chair
Half falling apart
He is facing her 
With the back of the chair facing the window
The attic door slams shut
She gasps for air
She is very afraid
He speeds and surely stands before her
Face to face
They meet
He asks her
"who are you?"
she replies
"Amelius, you?"
He moves back as he turns and his back faces her
"Eric"
He moves towards her slowly
And disapears
A few days past
She wonders where he is
She sits in the attic and waits for him
He appears behind her
She explains to him that she feels like she knows him
He sits by her on the bed
he explains there past life together
He returned to meet with her again
She died in a bathtub
He was holding her
Trying to wake her up from the pills she took
She died
After her funeral
He committed suicide
She moved on and became reborn again
He didnt because he was stuck in the past
He kisses her cheek
And she stands in awe
She does drugs in her new life
One night she was driving home
She was on acid
And she ran into a tree
She was dead on the scene
He shows up and pulls her out of the car
She thanks him for saving her
He reaches to hold her hand
"your cold"
She looks at him
"what? you mean im.."
He says "yes"
They leave together in peace
Where they should have been in the begining
His ghost soul is 46 years old
But his age of which he died is 19
She was 17 when she died the first time
The second time she died she was 19
her ghost soul is 23 years old
Love has no age



Details | Lyric | |

Bullets

Walking into the graveyard
Sitting on the bench
Lights a cigarette
Looks at the gun 
He has been hiding
In his jacket
Thinking to himself
He calls his girlfriend
And tells her everything
She doesnt do anything to stop him
He continues walking around in the graveyard
Remember his mom
How she wasnt there for him
How everything was his fault
She loved her students more than him
He gets upset
Daylight reaches the cemetary
He walks to his home
Walking inside
Seeing his mom
Starring at her face
He shoots her
He walks down to the school
Telling them his kids were there
He was there to check on them
They let him inside
20 little children in a classroom
He took his gun
And shot them
Then leaving the room and shooting 
7 faculty members
Everything is silent
The other classrooms are locked
He stands in the middle of the hallway
Falling to his knees
Crying
Figuring out what he just done
He comtenplates
If he should shoot himself or not
With one pull of the trigger
He kills himself
The media eats this story up
Publicly veiwing everything
Telling people
They talk about it for days
the type of attention he needed
See the problem now?
you can thank the media

20 little angels now rest with god for christmas
7 adults stand by there sides
God rewarding each of them for there good deeds
The shooter reunitues with his own demons 

I am very sorry to the families who had lost these children
My peom is very blunt
And in my own words


Details | I do not know? | |

A Bloody Sea

Across the cool, blue ocean,
a love will wait, but maybe not.

Two halves that make a whole,
impossibly perfect, or so they thought.

For she found another half
that fits like they were made to be together.

But the deserted half still whispers,
"I'm yours", as the tears fall.
Broken. Cracked. Fragile.
Never to be whole again.

And as she thinks about who she left,
She regrets it, because the sea
calls to her, lamenting her choice
and speaking of his broken heart.

She goes to the water and stands waist deep.
The sea shows her his agony, and it makes her heart bleed,
soon she will breathe her last.
Blood dripping into the sea to fix his shattered being.
Drop by drop he will be renewed,
but she must cease to exist.
Blood falling into the sea until the last drop has left her body.
Her reward for breaking him, is breaking herself.


Details | Rhyme | |

Your Suicide

All goes awry,
Things fall apart,
Your life in
shambles,
Your broken heart,
The choice is yours
to stay or go,
You contemplate this
at your all time
low,
Feelings of
worthlessness,
Thoughts of dread,
You should enjoy
life,
But have anger and
pain instead,
Why bother with the
every life,
When in the end it
brings nothing but
strife,
So the end is near,
The decision is
made,


Details | I do not know? | |

The Wound

Bleeding bleeding bleeding,
How do i make it stop.
I wrap it with my shirt,
or tie it off with my belt, 
but everything is for not.

Bleeding bleeding bleeding,
this gives me time to think.
As I lay here all alone,
The truth is what I drink.

Bleeding bleeding bleeding,
it will finally stop, no doubt.
There was never a need to think about it, 
My cares have all bled out.


Details | Couplet | |

Salutations and Satin Sheets

Pulling up his pants I think he's already forgotten me
Smeared lipstick and a handful of twenty's

Dirty condoms laying on couch, the bed, and the floor 
He gives me a mischievous wink and out the door

Now i'm angry at what I've done 
A filthy whore with cheap discreet fun

Laying on my bed it smells like sex
My life has always been cursed like a hex

No worries i've got a way to take away the pain
Pulled the trigger on my twenty two and blew out my brain


Details | Free verse | |

Mercury

My mind is dirt and this soil my curse
The seeds you plant in this heat make me worse
I just get so nervous, like I should believe
So perhaps I am wicked and not meant to be

And the steam that is rising
Intoxicates quickly
I have grown pale and swollen and sickly

Crocodile, crocodile, dry off your eyes
And take back your sorrowful, meaningless lies
I dream of your lovers, I wish for their deaths
Inside plastic bags, I will keep their last breaths
And with confined sighs, go north for a rest

I will leave with my murders and nothing will matter
Hot into cold, my love it will shatter

Beneath a deep snow, I will hibernate sweetly
And sleep off this hatred that binds me completely
I’ll pluck all my hairs, I’ll spin them for thread
To sew up the gashes I’ve put in your bed
And with mattress mended, go sleep with the dead

And the water that drips
Is forming a knife
My cheeks will be rosy devoid of past strife

My thoughts will be still when the earth has gone hard
The roots of your anger will leave my heart scarred
I just get so anxious, with all I believe
So perhaps I am wicked and not meant to be


Details | Free verse | |

Investigating Jack the Ripper - The Bait

He cuts throats too, my dear friend Ramsay!
How can I sing myself to comfort,
Sing wonderfully, as my father brags,
With a cut throat!?
Perhaps the draining of my fluids shall be our killer's lullaby,
As he sleeps soundly with the soothing flow
Of my newly dead blood!

With an uncertain sigh,
I now stand alone, quaking!
Cruel thought imagining despairing fate
How could Ramsay have so much faith in a cowardly girl
When faith is simply what she lacks? 
She is out to find an evil one unseen,
A twisted fiend that can be he that passes—or he!
Where shall she go from here?
Surely she cannot stand in this spot forever;
The rain has already chilled the coward to the bone,
When all she has on for warmth, the foolish child,
Is a thin old sweater?
But, ah, her bone is to be chilled once more,
And the weather, I'm afraid, will not be the cause. . .

-this is a dark soliloquy of a character in an unfinished play about Jack I wrote... maybe a couple years ago? I gottah put a date on these things! Haha-


Details | ABC | |

the end

the days go dark
i sit in this park
its lonly and cold
but these feelings are old
iv seen it before
shes out the door
i slit my wrists
and my blood slowly twists
down my arm and off my hand
my life is fading and its so sweetly bland
i bleed for you
but you never knew
the slow downfall
of my life and all
its miserable,sad and funny to
how much i really care for you
its ok now my life is fading
but no one knows i only evading
the sadness of losing
and heartbreak, blood oozing
the white light draws near
its almost over from here
i love you my dear
you touched my heart
now its time i fell apart
its me not you
see the picture i drew
thats my blood my note of suicide
im sorry im not ok im the one who lied
its over my life has finaly reached its ending
sleep well my love enjoy this last text im sending


Details | I do not know? | |

Sadness

This sadness is seeping
Leaking, spilling out
Of every cell in my body.
Craving a bullet
A rope
Or pills
To
End 
This 
Pain. 


Details | Free verse | |

It's Not Your Fault

The thing about life
is that
it can end in an instant

When the rope of the
harsh words
wraps tightly around your 

Neck squeezing tighter
and tighter
you just want to jump

To end it all to end all
the pain
and the hatred and words

It is not only the words
that push
you over the edge

It is too the fists and
the feet 
that slam into you

Over and over
without
a break with out letting up 

Making you break down and slide down
the wall
and cry and cry and cry

One phone call can 
save a
live, stopping that jump

Stopping the self hate
and
spreading the love

The love i have for 
you will 
never fade or die and i hope

will make you better
to sleep
and to be able to be 

Happy again to 
be happy
forever and always with me

just remember and know
that it's
NOT YOUR FAULT


Details | Free verse | |

The Path To Peace

Once upon a nightmare
 Lived a child, born so still
 A hopeless life bestowed
 To a conscience lacking will
 Nowhere, was innocence
 The girl discovered sin
 Concerned of nothing now
 Unaware of storms within
 And so the mourning came
 Gloomy farewell to dreams
 Numbness somehow aching
 Though useless, began her screams
 Post-mortem existence
 Enslaved by every thought 
 Years spent self-destructing
 Finding silence with a shot


Details | Lyric | |

Canvas

Walking up the stairs
She lays on the floor
He runs
Holding her cold body in his arms
He lets a tear fall from his eye
Dragging her down the stairs and into the cellar
He lays her on the canvas they painted on the floor
He spreads her arms and legs out
Pointing them the direction of North, South, West and East
He places four candles around the circle
Lighting them with his lighter
He sits and watches as he pours the hot wax on her face
He cuts around her eyes, slowly taking her eyes out
Gluing her eye lids shut covering them with the wax once again
He cuts her up in pieces
Scattering her in art forms
Admiring her beauty
He places her eyes in a glass jar
Wrapping her hands around a picture frame
He places her face on his ... as a mask
Gluing her face unto his
He lays on the canvas that is now covered in blood
He moves around 
His clothes covered in her blood
He watches through her eyes
The world she once saw
He places her face back on the canvas
He shuts off all the lights and walks up the stairs
Looking in the bathroom he saw the drug she has been taking
He cuts it up and sniffs it
He lays on the floor shaking
Crawling down the stairs to the cellar door
Trying to move but he cant move any further
His heart stops beating but hes still alive
The minute he had left
He opened the door
And rolled down the cellar stairs
Landing on the canvas
His face next to hers

"How its hurts now that your gone
Its so wrong"


Details | Lyric | |

Disapear

Dont follow me
I am the thing that should not be
Nothing left to see
How could you blame me?
I got kicked out of school
Im nothing but a failed soul
Waste of life
Killin myself with every type of knife
I chose the wrong path
Couldnt find my other half
Soon i will disapear
Nothing... 
im not going to share
You dont not care
Im not telling you what you want to hear
These ending days youll live in fear
You dont like the things i wear
Falling into more dispare
Into the skies
Further into the stars
You will see
12-12-12
My ending is here






Details | Rhyme | |

Whenever you see my face

Whenever you see
my face,
please try not
to cry,
for i'm in a much
better place,
as i did not
die.

I just knew it
was time to
embrace,
begin a new 
life,
and so i knew 
i could not
stay,
so i said
goodbye.

Whenever you see 
my face,
think of all the
times,
the promises we
made,
make no mistake
i'm keeping
mine.

Think back to the
days,
endless hours we'd
write,
think of what i'd
say,
if i could see you one last
time.

Whenever you see
my face,
smile but please don't
cry,
because although
i'm so far away,
this is not
goodbye.


Details | Free verse | |

scarlet tears

i. there is a drop of scarlet in the glass of vicissitudes–– 

a taint of shadows in a fluorescent
room. its shape baring teeth
at the reflection in my mind.

“a false portrayal of self-actuality”, concludes the
shrinking voice of a certified delusionist. she says that
my bones are brittle and my skin is worn
but no– that, no,
that is not me

my entity is solely defined by my
despondent thoughts
and my cracking fragility
interlaced with
streaks of red and
black and
blue

blue like the broken veins that
engrave my skin in a constant
reminder of who i am and
who i will never be

 ii. two drops now 

i will never be the smile on
her face in the waters or the
laughter from her imperfections splayed out against a white wall or the
solid self-assurance of a growing leader. and
i will never be the consummate words
that grace a meal with gratitude at the end of the
day (thank you lord)

thank you to this body that has
tried its best and to this mind
that bleeds in the grasp of its masochistic owner
thank you for the strangled lips that have
spoken my lies and to these eyes
that have seen the world in
delusory in all its grandeur.

iii. the imminent red flows in an addled solution of
thick and thin, its path changing so
fluidly

fluid like the love in my heart that
cowers from myself yet peels its
flesh for everyone else;
as solid as the robust
affirmation vibrating through my bones
that cries in joy at its sublimity

and in my head i hear the people ask,
“why cant you just learn to love yourself?”

oh– but dont you understand?
i do. i do love myself.

i love the way my eyes shine
with tears and how my teeth glow
from soundless words that emerge from
the gaps of tenebrosity and
the way my heart sighs contentedly
in its barren aspiration

i love the way i
have run out of tears
and words to define this
agony, silence screams
betraying me and endorphins refusing
its exoneration

and since i cannot do all this,
i let myself replace letting salt out from my sore eyes
with the release of iron from my scarred wrists

iv. and in my hand the glass shatters
and a sea of scarlet deluge my ipseity in a boundless suffocation


Details | I do not know? | |

Teenage Suicide Is Taking Over

Teenage Suicide is taking over
Its stuck in our head that its a good idea
Its stuck in our head that we wont be missed
That death is a good thing
That it will end all of our problems
That we will be free, no suffering, no regret
But its all  a lie
You take your life
You leave others to suffer
To think its our fault that you are in pain
We blame, we mourn, we're in denial

Teenage suicide is taking over
You take your life to end the suffering
You shut us out, you leave us here, you kill us when you kill yourself
Death is not the way, allow people to help you, 
when a hand is offered; take it
When a ear is there ready to listen; talk
When a shoulder is there to cry on; soak it with you tears
Don't let death be the only way out

Teenage suicide is taking over
Take a stand 
And help end it


Details | Free verse | |

Summer School

One year I went to a summer school. 
And there was a girl there 
With shining eyes and
An award winning smile. 
She was kind to everyone and 
Excluded no one. 
She always laughed with others
But you could go to her when you 
needed it.
We talked for hours and
Quickly became friends. 

Last year I went back to summer school. 
The girl was still there. 
She had sad eyes but
Kept the award winning smile. 
She was kind to everyone yet
Excluded herself. 
She never laughed properly 
But you could always go to her 
when you needed it. 
We talked for mere minutes and
I guess I lost a friend. 

This year when I went to summer 
school
The girl was no longer there.
Rumours of suicide surrounded
Her name
And no one was kind to us all.
Everyone excluded their-selves.
Silence consumed every thought and moment
Because no one was there when we 
truly needed it. 
Memories of talking haunted me and
I couldn't help but miss my friend.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Suicide Summer

The Suicide Summer
By Kevin Robey
August 5, 2013

It’s the end of summer, when rhymes will end
I’ll say goodbye to them, and all of my friends
It’s the end of days, as far as I’m concerned
I never thought that I’d make it to this turn

After all this time, the wounds are too deep
After all the battles, the price too steep
Doesn’t matter if you blame me for your scars
Sticking around this long, it's gone too far

I tried my best, can’t breathe anymore
Keep the manufactured smile I wore
It was all just a way to buy some time
The fire never stopped, your hand holding mine

I’ll never be saved, don’t push religion my way
I appreciate the thought, but I’ll burn anyway
There never was a question; faith got me this far
But answers were short; the punch lines bizarre

Reading this now, you’ll pick up the phone
Put down your concern, just leave me alone
Wash your hands of this diseased catastrophe
Just walk away as I drift off to calmer seas

As the lazy waves lap across my unshaven face
My bright eyes fade to grey with style and grace
I remember the chaos as the peace overwhelms
Smile one final time with the angels at the helm


Details | I do not know? | |

Suicide

Triangle Squares and crooked lines
Imagine this within the minds
Of those confused and lost in a way
I can't put in words
I can't even say
They were brought in this world for a reason I know
Maybe to suffer maybe to show
How lucky we are to be free from a state
Of mental confusion
Destruction high rate
Suicide.....


Details | Lyric | |

Demolition Lovers

"This time we will show them all how much we mean"

Walking into the school
Short blonde hair
Stunning blue eyes
Wearing make up on his face
The paint on his face
Is a skilled drawing of a skull
As he passes
Everyone starres
He keeps walking foreward
Not looking at them

She enters through the other end of the hallway
Long blonde hair
Deep brown eyes
Also wearing makeup on her face
A skilled drawing of a smaller skull
All the girls she passes
Starre at her
Wondering what kind of girl would 
Wear makeup like that

The Boy and the girl
Meet in the middle of the hallway
They hold eachothers hands
And continue down the hallway

Seeing them from behind
You read on his backpack
"I gave you my bullets..."
And on her bag you can see
"And i gave you my love"
They walk out of the school together
All the teachers starring
All the students watching there every move
They walk straight out to his car
A black Mustaine 1998
Before they get to the bridge 
He ties there hands together

They drive 10 miles
To a bridge
Theres a hill
A bridge
And a river
Hes going 90 mph
She clinches his hand
He looks at her with a smile on his face
She looks back at him pale as a ghost
The car jumps over the bridge into the river
The lovers dying on empact
Forever tied together by
The rope he tied earlier

Like a bed of roses
Theres alot of reasons
Why we are laying here
As we are falling down into
The pool of blood
I see your eyes
I mean this when I say forever.


Details | I do not know? | |

Rest In Peace

He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest. 
His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.
He knew you were in pain, 
he knew your world was grey and full of rain.
The struggles you had, the challenges that was given to you.
You could not take.
The day he took you,
he called the angels, 
to fly you above..


Details | Rhyme | |

Lost

The darkness surrounds me,
It's getting so cold,
I'm all alone,
With no one to hold,

My world is so empty,
All thats left is pain,
No sunshine to light my way,
Just neverending rain,

I drown in tears,
My heart is crying,
No one seems to notice,
My soul is dying,


Details | Verse | |

The Tortured Soul

Life was hard and he had lost all that mattered
first his mother who was murdered on her way home.
He watched his Dad unable to cope with her loss
fade away to skin and bones a relief when he passed on.

His wife walked out on him with their three children
leaving him with a pile of debts and a broken heart.
He lost his job for too much time off with no reference
and soon he would lose his house to the bank and divorce.

Now the final straw he was terminally ill and in pain
constant debilitating pain that sapped away his strength.
Lining up the bottles he poured out a healthy sized drink
and placed the pills ready in rows, with six in each pile.

Putting on a selection of his favourite bands he hunkered down,
settling himself as comfortably as possible this last thing
in his own hands, he got to chose. Not the illness he would beat
that by his own choice, for him death no longer held any fear.

Sipping, swallowing he washed down the pills until none remained.
After all enough was enough and he had nothing left to lose.
As he drifted off he dreamed of better times now past and gone
Soon he was walking in pleasant green pastures, ahead he could see.

His parents waiting with smiles on their faces and open arms
a vivid bright light that burned his eyes and yet welcomed.
He walked through the veil with eager steps to perfect peace
leaving behind without any regrets, the empty husk of his body.


Details | I do not know? | |

Sleep

I can’t breathe, I can’t sleep
all I want is to slumber deep
I want the pain and hurt to go away
and not come again another day.
My chest feels tight
my knees feel weak
my loneliness has reached its peak
I’m sad and depressed with my life
that I feel can change with the slice of a knife.
Look at me and what do you see?
But a sad lonely girl sleeping peacefully.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

The Final Fire In the Hall of The Mountain King

Sweet were the days though too few in number
When dread was lain over all tomorrows
By those whom upon the Rod of Asclepius swore
Sending him to seek solace
And pass by unseen
By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King

A blue star burned cold upon his brow
In the darkness to proclaim his coming
To this place he claimed
As the home of his heart
To play his part in this most sacred scene
By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King

Alone he arrived 
To no greeting or welcome
But gladness filled him all-the-same
No company would be kept
For this final thing
By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King

There were no songs in the Hall
No one to sing
Of loves lost or left behind
Succored and scoured
By compulsive dream
By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King

No proof against arms was his armor
Though many times it had saved him
Against ravage and rage of weather
Their service no longer in need
He laid them before him in offering
To the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King

Although weakened, quickly he kindled 
The first glowing embers
Coached them and coaxed them
So fragile and nascent 
Till they brought into being
The Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King

His presence in this hostile home
Alone would suffice
No grief-stricken children
Or wailing of women
No beeps or buzzes of cold machines
Only the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King

He dreamt of the First Dawn of his absence
And was surprised it weighed nothing
Against the many that he was graced to see
Contentedly he caressed them
Comfortable in his memory
By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King.

His star dimmed slowly before the First Dawn
With dignity dwindled the last flickering flames 
As cold grew the King 
On his throne of Stone
Set free near the ashes 
Of The Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King

Then Alpenglow burst the first rays of day
Round the only monument 
To a life lived like lightning burst forth from the storm
So proud stood the peak 
Glad alone to have seen
The Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King


Details | Verse | |

Dancing skeletons in the closet

I dance in and out of your peripheral vision
I'm not really sure you see me at all you see the empty spaces I take up

I want to be more than what I merely represent to you
to everyone I wish to be the fragile doll porcelain eyes a non existent heart

A broken girl
A china chipped soul 
A center as black as coal
I need more than I could possibly get 
the empty void a silent voice and the glittering blackness all around

Trembling hands, coffee and cigarettes to drown the pain to ignite my feeble mind getting colder still bones are aching tired eyes sunken hollow lies I'm fine I'm fine

Escape to fantasy life running away from the harsh reality of real  life

Playing Alice in wonderland games falling down the rabbit hole easy to go down never to return to the infinite sun

Heart beating slow I can't stay too afraid to go a cowards call to the silver tinted knife 

The girl I merely represented has died


Details | Rhyme | |

Kate And Julia

Oh, Kate comes from a broken home 
Where life’s just not that good.
She wants so much to make it work 
If she only thought she could.
And several times, it’s crossed her mind 
The thought of suicide.
It hurts so much. It just won’t end. 
The pain she feels inside.
And Julia has a way with words.
She knows just what to say.
Yes, she can make you feel real bad 
Or she can make your day.
She walks around her high school halls 
Always putting people down.
She laughs at them and scoffs and mocks.
She loves to see them frown.
One day at school the two girls met
And Julia jumped right in.
She made fun of Kate’s hair and clothes 
And then she laughed and grinned.
She called her names and would not stop 
As Kate began to cry.
The bullying became too much.
Kate ran away to hide.
The next day when the school bell rang, 
The principal had said
That Kate won’t be at school today 
Because, he said, she’s dead.
He said that she had killed herself 
Because the day before,
Yes, she was hurting deep down and 
Couldn’t take it anymore.
She left a note that would explain
The reason that she’s dead.
A bully pushed her way too hard
With hurtful words she said.
And then when she realized
What she did with her words,
Yes, Julia then apologized
To ev’ryone she hurt.
She asked them for forgiveness and 
Said she never will again
Say mean, cruel words to any one 
From now until the end.
The next time that you tease someone, 
Just please, stop first and think
The person that you’re teasing, well 
Just might be on the brink
Of saying that they’ve had enough.
Their life they want to end
When the one thing that they really want 
Is just to have a friend


Details | Rhyme | |

TAKEN- not for contest

“Mama, what happened to your smile?
I haven’t seen it for a while”
She looks at her and sighs
“It’s been taken”

He holds her trembling hand
As he hopes to understand
Where the love that they had
Has been taken

She tries to write a line
Of the poems they called, “fine”
But the grand thoughts that she had
Have been taken

She looks at the shining knife
Wants to end to her sorry life
Her passion and her desire
Have been taken

They all stand round her grave
Each one trying to be brave
She had given them all love
But they had only taken.

Eileen Manassian Ghali


Details | Rhyme | |

Help me

I remember how you were that day

make it happen or i’ll make you pay

is what you said before i went

away…

Seems like now the tides have turned

onto the platform in which you burned

maybe it wont fall this time

maybe… 

Leave me be when i’m not here

make me sway, make me hear

the reason why i’m not living 

the truth…

So here I stand drifting away

into the abyss where they all lay

holding regrets and promises

alone…

But there it is

that bright white sight

something's whispering behind me “choose the light”

should I listen?

should I stay?

help me…


Details | Rhyme | |

2 - Messenger from the Dead

There is no power in death,
great enough to stop youth.
From what must be done,
souls taken one by one.

If God should stand in the way,
clear the path you will go away.
Should I contend with this power,
no choice it is the devils hour.

When the wicked rule in time,
deception reigning of crime.
There will be a stand instead,
where I gather the vengeful dead.

Amongst in Hell that we cower,
our vengeance will grow louder.
Strong enough in legions,
numbers increasing regions.

Then the wicked will fear,
what is about to come near.
No where near closer to home,
inside Hell's nightmarish tomb.


Details | Free verse | |

Your Own Suicide Part 2 of 2

(Gen. 2:7/Jer. 10: 23/ Matt. 4: 4/Isa. 45: 22/John 3: 16/Heb. 4: 12, 13/ 2 Tim. 3: 16, 17)




(Part  2  of  2)




If You Were Buried Alive Beneath Boulders & Rubble
With Dust & Death Pressing In Every Layer
and With Just One Last Communication
Would You Still Ridicule Your Only Savior?

Are You Satisfied With Limited Years of Life?
Would You Expose Yourself To Some Fatal Disease?
And Would You Be Too Proud & Angry To Say ...
"May I Have More Life To Live, Please?"

If You Were Walking Upon A Shortcut Road
That Ended Over The Edge of A Cliff
Would You Stubbornly Continue On It
Just 'Cause Someone Came Along & Gave You A Lift?

If Given A Choice In Choosing Directions
While You Were Trapped In A Pretty Hedge Maze
And A Hungry Lion Was On The Rampage
Would You Just Stay There, Nonchalant & Dazed?

Don't You Want To Know: Is Anybody Out There?
and What Is The Mystery of Existence?
And If Your Life Depended On Your Answer ...
Would It Cost Your Last Minute ... This Instance?

Would You Jump Off A 90-Feet Story Building?
Would You Run Into - 200 Miles Per Hour Traffic?
Would You Challenge A Nuclear Bomb To A Duel?
Would You Drug-Up & Overdose Like An Addict?
 
Would You Throw Away All Ties To Life?
Would You Ignore GOD & HIS Book of Advice?
and HIS Own Beloved Son's Sacrifice?
Don't You Care Who's  JEHOVAH  &  Jesus Christ?

And If Its Not That Big A Deal For You To Decide
Of Who's Your Enemy & Who's On Your Side?
& You Just Give Up Because You're Tired & You Tried
& You Cuss Heaven & Carry On That Way, 'Til You Have Died


Well, You've Just Committed Your Own Suicide . . .



   Written & Copyrighted ©:  9/18/2013 
    by:  MoonBee Canady


Details | Free verse | |

Yesterday

A young girl sobs for all she's lost.
She's not who she used to be.
The blade is her release.
Her heart shattered to pieces. 
She wonders why me?
She hesitates.  
Her fears overpower her,
pulling her further from humanity. 
Her tears flow. 
She cuts deep.
She's hopeless, she's already given up.
Darkness once her best friend, 
has become her greatest enemy. 
Crimson flows.
She's done. 
She's lost her way, 
traveled to far and can't find her way out. 
She's doomed. 
She's.... going to be Yesterdays news.


Details | Rhyme | |

bloody red roses part 1

        A shot rang out,

it became quiet,

         she tried to scream 

but out came nothing

         she tried to move

But she soon realized she was paralyzed with fear

         All of a sudden 

she saw herself 

        Looking down upon herself

She tried yelling for help

       But then she saw it

It was in her hand

       Then she realized she did something

something she promised herself she would never do

       Noone knows why she's gone 

Nor what happened

       All they know is that she pulled the trigger

on herself while layin in a bed of

Bloody Red Roses


Details | Couplet | |

Hollow Puppet

Hollow puppet dancing on her strings,
Fear, fear please don't trim her wings.
Crumple down to hard dirt floor,
Never, never to dance any more.

Limbs this way, that way thrown;
No movement truly her own.
Dark, empty all around,
No purpose, value anywhere found.
Meaning escaped,
Fear evaporate.

Hollow puppet dancing on her strings,
Begging, desperate, please trim her wings.
Pain, pain go away,
Let me dance no more this way.


Details | Free verse | |

Finally They Notice

Death’s waves pushed me 
Further and further to
The bottom of the black ocean.

Stopping sound and breath,
But allowing the tears that
Stained my face; and
The blood that stained 
My forearms.

And everyone else stood
Above me and watched
They watched as I sunk 
All the way to the bottom

But it was only until
I reached the bottom
Of Death’s ocean did
Everyone scream, and cry, and curse
Because only then did they realise
Just how close I was.


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled

Have you ever been so angry?
That you can’t express hurt?
When the highlight of your day
Becomes your downfall.

I’ve flirted with disaster
Destruction became part of me.
I have no one to blame 
For I am my own misery.
05/23/08


Details | Rhyme | |

Accept Me For Me Or I'll Be Gone

There was no way I was able
To untie the sturdy cable
Wrapped around my shaking neck
Because my life became a wreck
I hope you find me hanging here
A note covered in saddened tears
Saying that this was the end
And no one will understand
All the pain I'm living with
Something inside turned a switch
Reversing who I'm meant to be
Changing my life totally
From having friends to no one there
I could see the horrid fear
In their eyes when I explained
That a big and scary change
Was happening and I can't stop
I need to listen to my heart
And go from a football jock
To dresses and curly locks
Not one friend supported me
Even my so called family
Shunned me for this "sinful" act
So I made a deadly pact
To end all this humility
Because I just wanted to be
Happy for the real me
Now I fly with open wings
And my heart can really sing
A joyful tune as I soar
Happy like never before


Details | Free verse | |

Fin

She turns up the music to hide the sobs
Blade meets wrist for a final encounter
Red tears come streaming, staining the ground as they fall
Silence encompasses the room despite all of the noise


Details | I do not know? | |

My saviour

I want nothing more than
my knight in shining armour
to come and rescue me.
 
To cut my skin that’s
as white as snow
with its sharp blade.
 
To turn my skin red.
For the pain and anger
to scar once more.
 
I want the anger to
trickle down my arm.
Turning it as red as roses.

I want nothing more than
to sleep for eternity
and to never wake again.


Details | Rhyme | |

Goodbye Robin Williams - Part II

People are still hurting because of the blow they've been dealt.
Sadly, you decided to end it all by hanging yourself with your belt.
You suffered from Bipolar Disorder and Depression, that wasn't a good combination.
People are very sorry that you died, your death has brought about devastation.
You starred in many movies, Popeye was your very first.
Your death was so horrible, to me it feels like a curse.
In 1991 when you starred in Hook, you portrayed Peter Pan.
Eight years later you starred as a robot in Bicentennial Man.
You entertained us when you portrayed Patch Adams and when you starred in House Of D.
You also astounded us with your performances in MRS. Doubtfire and RV.
Your performances were unique and extraordinary.
They were outstanding, they sure weren't ordinary.
Everybody knows that your acting was a wonderful contribution to mankind.
It will be a long time before your wife, kids and fans can find peace of mind.

[Dedicated to Robin Williams (1951-2014) who died on August 11, 2014.]


Details | I do not know? | |

When Death Is Imminent

If I were to die tomorrow, Would you be filled with sorrow? If you were told I will soon die, Will you, for me especially, cry? If I were found dead, Would you be filled with dread? If you were to witness me dying, Will you realize, all this time, I've been lying? If I were to find relief upon death, Would you feel grief as I breathed my last breath?


Details | Verse | |

Lament

Sadness surrounds me
Like falling snow
Piling up all around
Deadening the sounds
That come with our world
Floating through the air
Out of control
Falling
Falling
An open field where
Snow erases individualism
Hiding the beauty 
Nothing stands out
Blank


Details | I do not know? | |

Finally

Fun. Having fun,
and playing, just
freedom, freedom.
Youth, children and,
completely free.

Time moving fast.
Forcing: pushing.
Falling not 
able to stop.
Dying, slowly
inside: dying.

Pain; the sharpness,
Tearing, ripping.
Welcoming the
Pain. Crimson
Staining my clothes
Running down my 
Skin. And more, more
Pressure… harder.

Dizzy, dizzy
really dizzy.
But still pressing
harder and deeper. 
Blood flowing fast. 
And the pain; the
unbearable
torture it’s nice.

Slipping deeper,
into the dark.
The beautiful
abyss that is
death. Finally. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Trying

there’s darkness all around me
so thick that I can’t see
all my life means nothing
I can’t take it being me

I take some pills 
but you stop me
I try again
and you commit me

I hide a knife from the nurse
and hoping she doesn’t see
what I’m about to do
please let me be


Details | I do not know? | |

The King Of Pain

He only thinks that I am fake,
Even when I sit and shake,
Although I’ve done things in the past,
I left it all so we would last.

I don’t know what I am meant to do,
To prove to him I can be true,
He only sees the wrong and hate,
He never sees his one true mate.

All I am I’ll give for him,
I’ll kill myself for both our sins,
Yet he thinks it’s just a ploy,
And in this game he is just a toy.

I could write our names in blood,
Yet he’d only stand and shrug,
Cut out my heart for him alone,
He would not notice till I moan.

I know he loves me deep inside,
And still he thinks he has to hide,
I know when nothings left,
He is only happy when he’s in death.


Details | ABC | |

One Last Time

 It's hard for me to explain,
how I feel,
these emotions I'm having,
or how to deal,
I can't get over,
what's going on,
and I don't want to believe,
that your really gone,
I keep wishing to see you,
for one last time,
you were so wonderful, caring,
and in your prime,
I would tell you,
"I LOVE YOU", and I need you so,
and that I never, ever,
want you to go.


Details | Rhyme | |

In Silence I Drown Pt2

Stepping back
inside,
I speak but I'm not
hearing my words,
The world of silence
has arrived to
serve,
My sliced
up......broken.......self,
For I have been
waiting in pain
alone,
Widening my scars
with a sharpened
throne,
Remains of my
unfinished past,
Still haunting today
and tomorrow,
My sorrow seems to
be endless,
Illness controls my
emotions,
No other solution is
there,
So I stand and
stare,
So goodbye to this
filthy unfair world,
Because silence has
arrived to erase,
Marks of chains
around my body,
Wasted years behind
the curtains,
Suffering your
eternal happiness,
Killing my smile
with yours,
For it never was
found,
I shall be drowned..
In silence..I
drown...
In silence..I
drown...
In
silence..I..DROWN...


Details | Rhyme | |

Warped and Twisted

Harsh words and
violent blows,
Hidden secrets
nobody knows,
Eyes are open, hands
are fisted,
Deep inside I'm
warped and twisted,
So many tricks and
so many lies,
Too many whens and
too many whys,
Nobody's special,
nobody's gifted,
I'm just me, warped
and twisted,
Sleeping awake and
choking on a dream,
Listening loudly to
a silent scream,
Call on my mind, the
numbers unlisted,
Lost in someone so
warped and twisted,
On my knees, alive
but dead,
Look at the
invisible blood,
I've bled,
I'm not dead, my
mind has drifted,
Don't expect much,
I'm warped and
twisted,
Burnt out, wasted,
empty, and hollow,
Today's just
yesterdays tomorrow,
The sun died out,
the ashes sifted,
I'm still here,
warped and twisted,


Details | Rhyme | |

As I Wish To Die

As I wish to die, 
The darkness sighs, 
It's silent sigh, 
Why oh why, 
Must you make me cry, 
This pain feels like lye, 
On my tongue, 
Because of the pain you, 
Have caused me, 
I'm sighing, 
And crying, 
Soon I'll be dying,


Details | Free verse | |

Last Prayer

Last Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep
Medication Russian Roulette
Praying to the lord my soul he shall keep
Please God don’t let me awake
I yearn to embark on this slumber
A slumber which knows no end
Closing my eyes; never to open again
The one thing I ask dear Lord
May my loved ones never weep
For embarking on my eternal sleep

By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Rhyme | |

who loved you best

forget-me-nots lay on the table
water leaks from a cracked vase
the motor car is running in a closed garage
you've finally escaped life to a new place

people who loved you never knew you
the dog bark echos in the backyard
curtains dance from the open window breeze
no returning now you've gone to far

nosy neighbor calls the police
a fireman breaks in your garage
your lifeless body keeled over
to you life was just a mirage

grieving family can not understand it
into the ground you are laid to rest
unsigned letter read over and over for reasons
why-haunts those who loved you best


Details | Rhyme | |

Goodbye Robin Williams

You suffered from depression and Bipolar Disease.
Your suicide has driven the entire world to its knees.
You were so talented that talent isn't a big enough word.
I wish you hadn't died, that's what I would've preferred.
To become the terrific actor that you were, charm and talent were what it took.
Everybody loved your movies, especially Good Morning Vietnam and Hook.
You began your career as Mork and then you became Popeye.
Billions of people are saddened and devastated to see you die.
I have something to say that is one hundred percent true.
You were a brilliant actor and everybody on Earth loves you.

[Dedicated to Robin Williams (1951-2014) who died on August 11, 2014.]


Details | I do not know? | |

Nightmares

In my dreams I see her face,
Her smoky presents I almost taste,
Her empty eyes cut to my heart,
Her bloodless hands tear me apart.

She speaks my name with ice blue lips,
Her hollow voice with venom drips,
She grabs my face so I can see,
She is never free of me.

I wake up and I look around,
I hold my breath at any sound,
It felt so real and now I see,
What her passing did to me.

I’ll try to free her lonely sole,
This will be my life time goal,
Then I’ll sleep the whole night through,
And she will rest forever to.


Details | I do not know? | |

THE SUICIDE OF HENRY B, DAMD

     "The Suicide of Henry B. Damned!"
Between the edge of secrecy
and seething brink of lunacy
there went I to the very deepest
       darkest part of me!
I preyed upon my bleakened soul
to bring an end--this was my goal
to every thing that keeps me breathing
       deep inside of me!
But in the darkened night of it
I pained--and then I flenched a bit
and what it does to keep me going
        is my mystery--
Before the end that was my cause,
the cutting edge it slip--I pause!
my hesitation's left it beating
         keeping life in me!
Within it--my own misery
I bring sorbented hope in me
to end this cursed life defeating
         all the will in me!
And blackening my mind, I show
the blade just where it has to go
to cut the very heart that's beating
         cursed life in me!
(the SHADOW knows---ha ha ha HA HA
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa the doylestown poet


Details | Rhyme | |

A Deterrent

Don't cut your wrists
Don't cut your thighs
Pick yourself up
And dry your eyes
Unlock the door
Step into the hall
Look in the mirror
You're beautiful
Your scars don't define you
Nor does anyone else
They don't understand
You're going through hell
So please be patient
And don't let me down
I won't judge if you do
You won't be met with a frown
I'll try to understand
But it might be hard
You'll always be special
I hold you close to my heart
And living without you
I can't bear the thought
So please don't leave me
I'll be distraught
You're very special
And beautiful, you see
Don't listen to them
Just focus on me
I don't care what they say
I don't care what they do
Because I'm always here
And I really do love you


Details | Rhyme | |

Suicide Is Not the Answer


Lately, I have noticed a very disturbing trend.
Many people wish for their life to end!

There are many circumstances
that bring this about.
Many feel "trapped in," and think
"there's no way out!"

I admit,...  I have been very
discouraging thoughts.
Sometimes, wondering, if I was dealt
"the wrong lot."

But just when I feel alone
and trapped within.
I think about Jesus! He's always
been my friend!

I've called to him more than a time or two...
When I didn't know
"what I was going to d."

When, to him, I cried out and pleaded...
He's given to me the hope
and direction I needed!

I recommend this same Jesus
to your life today!
Whatever your problem...
He has made a way!

An abundant assurance
Is what Jesusbrings!
He is an awesome God!
And can take care of everything!

Your problems are never too big
or small for him to take control.
He can bring healing to you!
And make your body whole!

He is what's needed! In this lost
and dying generation!
Won't you accept his mercy
and salvation???

By Jim Pemberton   2012





Details | Free verse | |

Requiem for a Life Unknown

a
weary
heart
this
life
bids
adieu,

till
arise
this
flesh
never
again
anew.

a
dying
spirit
echoes
slowly,
life’s
last
drum
roll,

a 
final
rhythmic
cadence,
before
death’s
silent
bow.

© Eugene Harvey



Details | Free verse | |

Epitaph

Epitaph is a collection of dark short stories, unsettling poetry, and hopeless musings. 

It is available for Amazon Kindle.  http://www.amazon.com/Epitaph-ebook/dp/B00CCFQ9XS/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_t

Or Barnes and Nobel NOOK. http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/epitaph-kyle-halberg/1115920109?ean=2940016540689

Here are a few reviews to wet your apetite.

1) "Epitaph is a dark, quick read about the absurdity of the finite human condition.
If Kafka and Palahniuk had a brief affair, this would be their lovechild."

2) "Coventional Society Has Been Condemned.  The author presents a well written, detailed condemnation of conventional American/Christian dogma. The author's anger is palpable. Thought provoking to say the least..."

3) "I was startled by the boldness of Epitaph. The author did with this something a lot of people are unwilling to do: be completely and insanely honest. In a strange and satisfying mix of poems, fiction, and philosophy, it explores what it means to exist, and if it is even fair to say that we do. Hearing that, you may be surprised to also hear that this collection contains some of the most creative, thoughtful, and downright hilarious things I have ever read.

That being said, I hesitate to recommend this to most people, because the evident and strangling despair of the author will upset them. If you are happy, skipping from day to day without a care in the world (in other words, if you are boring and thoughtless), DO NOT READ THIS! If you want to peer into the mind of a madman, and become mad for a short time yourself, Epitaph is the place to go."


Details | I do not know? | |

Christmas

T'was the night before Christmas
And all through the house not a single noise could 
be heard
For, you see, the only one up
Had practise of being quiet 
even when she's screaming inside
With hand over mouth,
and tears streaming down her face
She silently sobbed the night away
The only festive colour running from her wrists
The only thing she wanted for Christmas
Was to be dead.


Details | Free verse | |

The shoelace

A shoelace, one that snags and tears when you try to tighten your shoe too tight. 
Who would have imagined, 
could be a tool used to take my daddy's life. 
Alcohol and drugs, a swirl of depression and a mindset of bamboozlement
Leaving what was once a brilliant artistic mind, 
now second guessing his sanity. 
Put so much faith into a women who made her life hustling, 
transparent to all but him. 
Would leave him alone, with his drug induced thoughts of self loathe. 
While she scampered the streets, and was more enthralled with a "john".
One night was his breaking point, concocting a delusional plan to recapture the harlot's attention. 
Was it a cry for help, and attention? Was it an induced hebetude. 
Sitting cross legged as indians would, a simple shoelace placed around his neck. 
Waiting hours and hours for her to return, to see him in this desperate state. 
The effects of the drugs and alcohol had taken its toll, his eyes heavy... 
He leans forward, the shoelace does not give way. 
I will never know if it was suicide or a drunken stupor!


Details | Free verse | |

Why

She sits there
Trying not to cry
Thinking of the ways
She could die
And just wondering
A simple question, why
Why couldnt she just go
And lie
In her grave
Without people wonderin why
Whyd she do it
Whyd she lie
Why didn't she say
She was goin to die
And why'd she do it
Why didn't she cry
Did she not believe
We would try
To stop it all
To erase the goodbye
And begin again
With just hi
To make it simple
Or did she think we would lie
To her face
And turn around to say she was high
That it couldn't be true
That its all a lie
Because that place seem so great from the outside
Or would they believe and see their lie
But then they'd know
Why she cried
Which means she'd have
To say goodbye.


Details | Free verse | |

Aren't You Happy Now

I have no life 
Wish I had a knife

You filthy bastard you 
Don't be a coward, there's something new

You ugly little whore
Just an eye sore 

You poor little baby, you poor little thing
You deserve pain, you deserve the sweet sting 

Do us a favor and kill yourself now
Do us a solid, make yourself proud

You've cut to deep
Now there's no going back

I'm going to sleep
And I'm not coming back

Now everyone's happy. Aren't they?


Details | Free verse | |

nothing new

Monday: Nothings new with me today, I go to school
alone and afraid  I see your happiness and I am safe 
I go home sit alone in my lonely room crying myself to sleep knowing I mess everything up.

Tuesday: Nothings new today except I faked my sickness to cry in my room
instead of seeing you, Cause i know no one cares then I paint a picture on my wrist saying 'i will leave this world alone'.

Wednesday: Nothings new today went to school and cried in the hall nothings new with me today I'm alright and that's all you know.

Thursday: Nothings new today I went to school and saw your face I said hi and you smiled once again I am safe I went back home  and paint another picture and letters and wrote your name deep in my wrist..

Friday: nothings new today I saw you and said goodbye..
 
Saturday:I am alone like always, I hold back all my tears and sorrow and swallow all my pills that I kept away from me for a while until this day.. now i'm gone

Sunday: I still fill the pain I've had all my life . But somethings new today .. I am no longer alive


Details | Rhyme | |

My Own Demise

Blood overflows my skin,
And seeps through my fingers,
Droplets of mortality race with no will...
Carved in the flood, a desire, a dream to fulfill,
For once my eyes flew above tomorrow,
But my heart clung to the ashes of sorrow,
My mind was under siege by shadows of grief,
And the wind was my soul...roaming for relief,
The days have built a conflict in my existence,
And failure defeated the fort of my resistance,
Walls were scorched by the vibe of my wail,
A symphony to the last chapter of my tale,
I bless the ground where my body lies,
As I lead the requiem of my own demise,


Details | I do not know? | |

My Past

It's difficult for me to remember my past.
From my very first memory to my last.
I have put my friends, family and myself through so much.
No longer am I able to feel God's touch.
The scars are here forever.
I obviously wasn't very clever.
Overdosing, suicide and cutting.
The doors that were open to me are now shutting.
I have almost ended my life a lot.
But before I could I got caught.
No longer will I try.
I just wish to die.
I say that all the time.
Everyone complains saying these are crimes.
I have been through quite a bit,
as the cigarette is being lit.
When will my pain go away?
Not until my body is in the coffin where it shall lay.


Details | Couplet | |

Bondage

How thin is the line between love and death?
A poet's mind's length; a fine, raven  hair's breadth.
I remember clearly all those sweet times 
We lay after sex; all the low clock chimes
With your head on my heaving, breathless chest; 
The nights without you; alone; cold at best.
Between thumb and finger I twist the bond, 
The rope which we played with; with which so fond.
Muscle memory reties naughty knots;
As my mind's projector plays those old thoughts; 
It's ironic; those ties that gave us joy
Should end all the pain in this tragic boy; 
That the rope with which I tied fast her hands
Should snatch my soul out from the Devil's plans.
I slip down that knot; fasten the rafter, 
As I kick that chair, I hear her laughter.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Hope for a Broken Soul

When I think about things that are gone and passed
I mourn for the things that did not last
I feel the hurt and tears that fell
I cannot get free, trapped in this Hell
The fires of memories lick at my flesh
Burning up tears that I thought would always last
Coal black eyes, you can see my soul
I gave up everything, everything for a mole
But such rich eyes…
They beckoned me in, promising me everything
Using all of my sin
My heart still aches
My soul still bleeds
To hear that voice
So honey sweet
And yet I let you hold the knife
Feel you twist it in my back, and I never seem to fight
The blood starts to rip, taking with it some hope
That one day I will stop this nonsense
And take that one last fatal blow
But no, not to him
I want him to stay in perfection, I never can harm him
The knife is for me, to mortify my own flesh
Let the blood pour, like my tears once did
Maybe then he will understand
I regret the mistakes made
But no matter what, I would always belong to him 


Details | Free verse | |

Eurydice

 Yeah, she was kinda dark 
Steven said when I told him about it
 You could tell,he said, she had it in her
But he wasn't there for knee socks and
Golly gee can't believe you said THAT WORD
out loud
The memory leaving me wondering if
maybe
he meant me.
Though he and I both know
I don't have the stones.
Lazy suicide he accuses
I laugh but silently agree
Maybe,or
Instead of breaking or bending
I pick door number three
refusing to accept 
what I cannot change,
singing to any beast who will listen
 while plucking my strings 
in the light at the edge of the world
But where is she?


Details | Rhyme | |

A Babel of Benighted Psalms

Death orifice my Libidinous command,
I contras life's ecumenical demand!
Now reach down in this thistle grim,
Desolate me with the edged limb.
Grant this voyeur that glimpse of dead,
A comatose where life and I unwed...
As minutes kiss my infidel fawn;
The church's bell will screech at dawn.
-Enthral me now!

Tell me Neith, was all my love in vain?
While blood is surfing in silhouette pain.
Succumb; I've punctured my unfruitful coat,
Birthing wonder if Love she'll emote?
Sable wings retracted like livery spades,
My celestial dream as life slowly fades...
This Dementia spoke to me in a tongue,
But before my babel, my barbed winds gone...

Finally taken from Life's 'Woetopia'
I journey now to Death's utopia!

While my heart still beats through thorn,
Only a few minutes till it's outworn,
Due to Hel I'll never be forlorn,
Alas! as Death I'll be reborn!

When Neith failed this loom of tapestry;
I flee through thick celestial forest atrophy.
The livid scar that put me to rest;
A tourniquet to the sepulcher orb in my chest!

"Due to Life's Ouroboros Limbo Inn,
I couldn't gift a priapic cusp within,
I couldn't caress your silhouette skin,
I couldn't love your sinister kin!"

The revel Dead speak of Summerland,
A masturbation by Death's own hand.
I'll gladly sparkle your path with pearls,
Take you away where meadow depression curls!

For you see- Death is the womb
of our throe forboden, aroused Moon.

On this night tears open the ebon vaults,
A corpse left to indulge all your faults.
The pal laid to my awe desires,
This catafalque God endures weeping choirs.
Psalms sung by Life's clique,
-Part of me might cry and shriek...

-In this storm; An erubescent shower,
released me from my beloved voodoo flower.
There my heart and knife wedded!
Benighted the ground splay blood dreaded.

Through astral Magicks, I decay my flesh,
Too the entangled Moon, that trees enmesh!

... The Summerland

Now I rule as master in this domain,
Finally my swathe depression deplane.
So it can no longer grief and betray,
But I face surplus love sway!


Details | Free verse | |

Bliss From A Bullet

Everyday I wake up to a mundane reality
Lying in bed thinking, waiting for dawn
Nothing left to believe in, no hope for society
With no more strength I can barely move on

Looking around I see people enjoying life, having fun
Their laughs mocking me as I sit alone
That’s it I can’t stand it, I’m done
Finally, to me the truth has been shown

No one cared, they never did, and never will
I need to end it all, society is full of it
With the gun to my head time seems to stand still
Now the only thing I can believe in is bliss from a bullet.


Details | Free verse | |

Fracta Anima

Maybe instead of life
Maybe I’m the joke.
Maybe I stopped mattering,
So why does this matter?

The shattered pain in my eyes,
Mirrors that reflect only you.
Do you see the cracked smile;
Your laughter is a dagger to my soul.

The frustration is a merry-go-round;
I might fall off and die.
The pain is rotten, a corpse
Twisted all around my heart.

Tears are uncountable, endless
Crying at night but still more.
Oh, the despair in my soul!
I long only for joy, please,
Is that just too much to ask?

Those beautiful dreams are ruined,
Why on earth were they given?
Was it all my fault or maybe
No one’s fault, just life,
The joke that is me.

The cuts will scar, as always
Yet can’t you see them,
Or maybe you refuse to.
The outside cuts are nothing
Compared to my heart, ruined,
Destroyed by far too many hopes.

My trust, shattered like glass
And lying in the wasteland,
My bitter tears are the oasis.

Tired, yet no sleep is found here,
So many questions in my mind,
My heart can’t ask you again.

I’m sorry, oh the mistakes made,
And there will be so many more.

I am hollow, a container of sorrow,
Of lifeless, wingless dreams, so frail.
The hot fire mixes with it,
The anger that is me and my mind,
Questioning, screaming and so unhappy.

Delusions are my safe, happy place;
I only wanted love.


Details | Free verse | |

The Never Ending Night

The Never Ending Night

There is a place we go
Where we cannot find light
Our eyes adjusted
To our own twisted Plight
We hide in places
Live with fright
Within this never-ending night
We roam
We seek
In search of light
Mind to fucked to speak
Within his never-ending night
We reach our hands up high
Seeking comfort from imaginary hands
We find nothing
Only the pain
Which never went away
No end in sight
Within this never-ending night
Scream all you want
No one will hear
Reality is no one is there
I seek
Until my knees are weak
Reality setting in
I have traveled nowhere
Trapped within
My suffocating box
I am in this never-ending night
A feeble prayer
To a God who was never there
The time has come
Within this box
My mind rots
No air
No light
No hope
Only madness
Brought on from my never-ending night
My cold dark stare
Nothing is something
Better
Than living in my never-ending night
In my hands
I hold the key
My only freedom
Only escape
From my never-ending night
One blissful pull
I enter into the light


By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Free verse | |

Better Without

Better Without
 
I try so hard 
Not to become my fathers son
I try so hard
To be a father sculpted by Michelangelo
Painted by da Vinci
Faced with failure
Endless denial
Self deception  
To deny the truth
I am a father designed by an earless madman
I question are they better without

Trapped in a Divine Comedy
Inferno is Alpha and Omega
I wish there was a cure
Sadness filled with madness
Meds cannot take away
A brain still in pain
How do you apologize
  When the illness lets them down
The more I write
The clearer it becomes
They may be better without

They love the mania
Hate the downs
Flick the switch
From mania to a ditch
Turning from this to that
They never know which dad I’ll be
Denying them the comfort of stability
Please don’t let them be better without

What am I then?
A cancer to my family
They know I am sick
They know daddy isn't the same
Wishing he was someone else
Transparent they see what’s inside
They hate my illness
Hating myself
That shame and stain forever remains 
They now question are they better without

Face-to-face with this question
Like a coward I hide
In denial 
My blanket of lies
I am their painting of a father
A father my son doesn't want to become
The question has been answered
They are better without
  

By: Tim Lundmark


Details | I do not know? | |

7 Deadly Sins

Being lazy
Getting hazy
Always crazy
Die from sloth
Getting fat
Being hungry
Seeing crack
Die from gluttony
Not complex
Having sex
Without latex
Die from lust
For thyself
Don't need help
No problem
Die from pride
So much anger
You're a banger
Do the math
Die from wrath
It's not enough
To want too much
Want everything
Die from greed
Jealousy
Will get you
Nowhere
Die from envy


Details | Free verse | |

Desight

So here she lay with the gaunt rose feeling so cold…

Help is in her eyes, but the feeling is of false…

Uneasy for me to slit the way to eternal rest…

I feel this breeze weigh behind me…

 And so the knife she lay so bold…

Nonentities realized this so coming…

Help is on the way my dear…

I shall hear you sleep… 


Details | I do not know? | |

real

she is my life my light my love but yet i feel as if i just want to die 
razor in hand blood drips on the floor show me what life was mint
for cut just a bit deeper slip into a loving hold of death still no end in site 
for the pain i feel death is sweet and always there for you and life will 
always let you down the more blood that leaves the at peace i feel i now
know it is real


Details | Rhyme | |

Sociopathic Father

Pain was something that a man loved to inflict.
He had four daughters and he was very strict.
He demanded control of his wife and daughters.
He had two Son-In-Laws who he slaughtered.
He murdered his first Son-In-Law for the life insurance money.
And he got twice as much cash because it was Double Indemnity.
When he blew off his hand for the insurance money, they wouldn't pay him anything.
So when he decided to decapitate himself, it was all for nothing.
He was eventually brought to justice for the evil that he inflicted.
But he wound up not going to prison even though he was convicted.
He staged his death to look like murder but he actually committed suicide.
He was a very dangerous and evil man, that's something that can't be denied.
The things he did were too horrible to contemplate.
He left this world at the age of 54 in March of 1978.

(This is a true story)


Details | Free verse | |

Disconnecting Numb

Forcing his way through a ocean of iniquity and negligence,
As malfeasances and misconducts concoct a deadly storm of uncertainty,
Demons and guilt torment him,
Obstructions and obstacles challenge him,
Misfortune and tragedy overwhelm him,
As he is subconsciously enveloped by an emotional numb,
Standing alone, even as he is surrounded by those he loves,
He a feels shiver-inducing tingle shave his spine,
Severing the last of his connection from the outside world.
Crying himself to sleep every night;
Without pain,
Without sadness,
Without anger,
The numb killing his soul,
Obliterating emotion,
Annihilating self-worth,
Disconnecting into a world of fog, 
Where one is never truly awake, but can not find peace in sleep,
The sorrow from solitude forces him out,
The depression from being invisible pushes him back in to confinement,
Anxiety and instability crushing ambition and inspiration,
The silk of motivation, which once rich and lustrous,
Is now tattered and broken,
Once a man, a human,
Now the broken shell of a person, without purpose,
Lacking axiom,
Integrity, broken,
Living a facade,
Wearing a smile, but dead behind the eyes,
Drifting from reality, leaving behind the body and mind,
A soul, free from the trials and constraints,
Without consequence,
Without regret,
He will no longer be forced to suffer through the melancholy that eradicated his life,
He will never again succumb to the desolation of his depression,
Never again, will he have the chance to create,
Never again, will he have the chance to inspire,
Never again, will he have the chance to love.
Never again, will he wonder if he is deceased, dreaming or alive.
He is now more alive than ever,
He is now in a state of eternal dreaming.


Details | Free verse | |

Gregory

Gregory, Just an average man, with no secret…

His life was all in order, no son, no wife, no daughter…

He was known for slaughter, not too many people know this…

He keeps a list, everyone, including the mistress…

He has no weapon, only his little, stupid thoughts…

Gregory had a talent no one else knew of…

He could sing, sing till’ the cows came home!

But once Gregory made his change, he was not the same…

He was always finding things to blame, thinking life was a game…

You could say that Gregory was the same…

Until the night he walked into the freeway lane…

Maybe Gregory was a little insane, maybe he was a little hue…

But smarter than most, he never knew how to smile…

He tried and tried, but to society he was a ghost…

His little, stupid thoughts covered his emotions…

Gregory always thought of why he was here…

Gregory started to taste alcohol, it started as beer…

Ended as Heroin, his words always were…

At least I’m someone…

He laughed; Gregory knew that was a bad assumption…

No family to call, Gregory started taking his problems elsewhere…

And his little, stupid thoughts were right there beside him…

He grabbed his grandmother’s wicker basket…

His only words were…

“Fantastic…”


Details | I do not know? | |

Right Now

I feel it deep within me,
This growing void inside,
I don’t know how to quench it,
Or make the gap subside,

I feel so lost and so confused,
I don’t know where to turn,
I want to see the light again,
Without watching all things burn.

I want to see his face again,
I want to hold him near,
I wish he knew I loved him loads,
I’d shout it loud and clear.

Time goes by I realize I’ll never hear his voice,
I sit in tears all on my own with lonely thoughts of death,
A razor is kissing my wrist and pills causing my veins,
Dear lover help me as I am all that’s left.


Details | Rhyme | |

Ready Set Die

Anger is set
No emotions bound
Lost of affection
Darkness is found
Tools are gathered
Brain is prepared
Ending tragic memories
None will be spared
Weapon of choice
Not yet decided
Next to the devil
Which whom I've sided
Whatever the outcome
Blood will be shed
Ready,get set
Death is ahead


Details | Couplet | |

Bye, Bye Robin

Bye, Bye Robin Williams




If only my peace I could now rest in

And wouldn't have to start over again;

All of my efforts which were fruitless

Now are of no value and totally useless.




Begins have begun and endings gone by;

Many things about myself, I had to deny;

What I felt was a false sense of being

And deep within me nothing was agreeing.




Conflicts continue on as they still persist

And if I lived again, what would I insist;

Time after time and over and over again

If I had prayed to God ending it with Amen.


Details | Free verse | |

Knock

He heard a knock at the door,
suddenly he couldn’t wait anymore,
felt the pain trickle down his spine.

It crashed open and he flinched,
the sound forcing him to wonder why,
why he had been chosen for such a gruesome life.
Seconds fell to minutes,
minutes fell to hours,
yet somehow time felt frozen.
it felt like nothing had moved for days,
days upon days.

He heard the footsteps in the room,
he heard the shrieks of terror too.
He most certainly didn’t move.
The crimson liquid seeped though,
it seemed from every pore,
he knew this day would come,
dying on the floor.

She rushed to his side,
screaming gargled words
she never heard a thing.
He felt his eyes close again,
just this one last time.
He let himself slip away,
for today he shall die.

Had he had the choice he’d say,
he never wanted it to end this way.
We do things for those we care,
if dying meant saving,
then dying was the only cure.
He had no problem,
not when it was for her.
One last time,
he heard a knock on his door.


Details | Free verse | |

Faceless Enemy

How easily you ran rampant
through our sleeping little town.
Lives, you touched so many
over the years,
for the better.
Manyadmired and respected you,
dressed in blue.
Did this beast always reside in you?
Secreted away from the world?
Or was it new?
What caused this fracture, this divide?
Something unforeseen?
When it came,
you did not fight.
You let it reap and in this
last instant you took them all
and saved you for last.
Coward!


Details | Rhyme | |

Suicide Notes

So, I find this topic very interesting. Suicide notes. Not in the good kind of way, of course, but...Why leave a note? Wouldn't you like to keep them guessing? The word "Suicide" is awfully beautiful. So terribly pretty.
These poems are suicide letters. You'll notice when a new letter is coming. 


Suicide notes-

My dear friends,
I write to you,
From times of sorrow,
you carried me through.
Picked up the pieces,
stitched them together,
Oh how i wish,
I could stick around forever.
But no, dear friends,
it's time to go,
I have to fly free,
there's no more of me to sew.
One by one I'll speak to you,
you'll hear me in your mind,
And no one will know.
One by one I'll write to you,
up in the sky of clear shaded blue.
Here it goes,
Here is one,
Don't you know,
These are suicide notes.

-Who were you, my dear friend?-

Who were you, my dear friend,
glass green eyes,
with piercing blue.
Spoke to me,
words of gloom.
That's all you did, 
it's all you do,
so now i'm saying,
Goodbye to you.
Gleam and Glow,
shine and sparkle,
you let me go.
I know that you're reading this,
So please before you rant,
know this is no joke,
You are a suicide note.

-My sweet friend, You left.-

You know who you are,
you know what you did,
You used to be my shining star.
Before you left,
you went away,
Darling I asked for you to stay.
I know I cant make you,
I know you don't want to,
but do you remember?
I love you.
Too much, too little,
You made me hate you.
Go on with your new friends,
tell them i say hello,
and please let them know,
They made you a suicide note. 

-Oh, my lovely dear friend.-

Ah, and now it's all on you.
The last song of the blues.
Oh my love,
it was all up to you.
You could have saved me,
But you let me be,
sad and alone,
when my dark colors shone. 
But yet,
i'm sorry.
Yes, me.
I'm sorry I ran,
I didn't know how to say,
Man, i messed up,
No more Always.
And These words that were running through my head,
all mixed up,
they all made up to say,
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," 
To stay.
In your way,
I'll go home,
and write about you, 
in my suicide note.


Details | Free verse | |

Half Gates

Drowning in dismay,
the Will is fading away.

A familiar touch,
nothing changes so much.

As Life creeps out,
behold the crimson carpet unfold.

At ajar doors,
what is left to adore?

From afar they revel,
delighted by how you fell.

Shutting gates,twisting keys,
burning bridges now leave...

Traveling to beyond the bounds,
leaving behind what is not fond.

The journey to find a pinch of joy,
doesn't often destroy?


Details | Rhyme | |

Messenger from the Dead

Upon this read you shall grieve,
a curse granting you to believe.
With your religion as a master,
mine is a far greater disaster.

Troubled with a conflicted pain,
mentally restricted to restrain.
When I am gone it will be known,
my death threatens what you own.

This soul that I have up for trade,
greatest power in death to wage.
An act that is greater than god,
time itself will never be flawed.

As dreams will haunt with power,
the dead confront why you cower.
Now I sleep a ghostly damnation,
thus resting victims starvation.

Assured those I care cannot feel,
leaving memories that never heal.
I am a forgotten with desolation,
alas vengeance unto destruction.


Details | Rhyme | |

this is for you

i really love you
I seriously do
I don't want to leave
But you've got to believe
I don't belong here
Please do not fear
Everywhere you go
Just feel the soft wind blow
the love flow through your veins
Relieve all your aches and pains
just listen to the whispers
you will hear my voice...
I will always love you...
It will hurt really bad
perhaps make you terribly sad
just listen to your heart
and you will realize
It was only best
For me to die
Then you'll know I'll be safe
no more hurt
Just in peace


Details | I do not know? | |

death be rest

I conceal my face and head
praying i was dead
I struggled to forget
But my heart would not let
I wasted my convincing
That you were real
I stopped praying
I'm now shattered down
Sitting on the ground
I once thought life would go on
But it all turned out wrong
I decided to give it a last shot
Only it wasn't worth the fought
I now have a gun and knife 
Deciding if i should take my life
I slash my wrists
And shoot my head
My body falls to the floor
I now lay in a puddle of blood
Forever put to rest


Details | I do not know? | |

The Timeline

To be born and be a little miracle. 

To be one and be in the limelight.
 
To be two and an angel.
 
To be three and a little princess.
 
To be four and be a big girl.
 
To be five and love your mummy and daddy.
 
To be six and spoil rotten.
 
To be seven and making friends.
 
To be eight and making best-friends.
 
To be nine and leaving your imaginary friends behind.
 
To be ten and feeling more responsible.
 
To be eleven and know who you want to be.
 
To be twelve and happy in life.
 
To be thirteen and scared that your friends will leave you.
 
To be fourteen and struggling with your sexuality.
 
To be fifteen and sad that you lost all of your friends.
 
To be sixteen and struggling with all the important things.
 
To be seventeen and a disappointment.
 
To be eighteen and turn to alcohol.
 
To be nineteen and turn to drugs.
 
To be twenty and be depressed.
 
To be twenty-one and think about who you used to be.
 
To be twenty-two and cutting.
 
To be twenty-three not talking to your family.
 
To be twenty-four and jobless.
 
To be twenty-five and moneyless.
 
To be twenty-six and cutting too deep.
 
To be twenty-seven and dead


Details | I do not know? | |

Ending









Broke. Blind. Bitter.



so down,

down





Cold. Cringe. Cutter. 



bore down,

down





Drift. Dark. Danger.



crawl down,

down





Edge. End. Enter. 



kneel down,

down





Fate. Fall. Final. 



lay down,

down




Gore. Gasp. Mother!



dark found,

found.


Details | Couplet | |

Give Them His Love

Wife was beautiful when she walked by



And she always, really caught my eye



Like someone I never saw before



Who I would want to see much more.







My husband always troubled had been



And my life, at times, he would not let in;



What happened to him I had supposed



Was in on him his world had closed.







Wherever he was or had tried to be



No one could ever see his REAL ME



And times to himself he had lied;



With deep sorrow committed suicide.







In heaven, no longer has a worry or care



Which in past was hard for him to bare



And now while he's high in heaven above,



As you look at everyone, give them his love.







Tribute To Brian Williams



James Thomas Horn



Retired Veteran



You can forward any of my poems 



to anyone who you may want to.


Details | Free verse | |

Choose

Choose
The only way 
the final way 
the hero’s way
the cowards way
to give up
to sacrifice
the pain of death 
or the pain of life
the slash of a knife
the bullet of a gun
the jump off a tree
or the empty bottle
death 
life
freedom
pain
choose one
choose another
choose life
choose death


Details | Free verse | |

The Bloody Instrument

The Instrument of life
By, TheDarkness
Note: During medieval times, there was a legend’ that when a swan dies, they sing a beautiful song with their dying breath. This has sense been forth known as, 
“The Swan Song”


She plays her music of pain,
The instrument of choice her wrist,
A symphony of sounds are released,
Though the melody is hushed through clenched teeth
With every pull the music fades away,
Slowly the once lively instrument turns pale,
And her silver baton falls from limp hands.

He plays his music of life,
Though his symphony is different,
Instead of the sweet sting of the silver blade,
He chooses the loud bang of the bullet,
Clicking the last piece into place,
He puts his instrument to his head,
With a flash of light his instrument falls away,
The once clean room is now stained red

The aftermath is catastrophic,
For the conductors left before the show ended,
With heavy hearts the audience cleans the stage,
The melody they created is covered up,
And the music they loved is forgotten.

Together, yet so far apart,
Their symphonies briefly intertwine,
To create a melody unheard by human minds,
They part together, strangers on a lonely road,
Yet somehow they smile, for their peace is finally known,
For together,
 They created their swan song.


Details | Free verse | |

Suicide Note

If I were to write a suicide note,
I would kiss every inch of the page, to drench it
With my last breathings of doomed love

If I were to write a suicide note,
I would spray each corner with Arabian perfume, 
So you will always associate death not with the chilling scents of
Decomposing flesh, or freshly turned soil, but with a heady 
Intoxicating fragrance

If I were to write a suicide note,
I would use many inks in rainbow colours, to soothe 
The ache of my parting words – to paint a kaleidoscopic picture of 
My beautiful misery

If I were to write a suicide note,
I would not waste time listing my miseries,
For they were countless, and too heavy for a sheet of paper
To bear

If I were to write a suicide note,
I would compose it sitting on my bed, my legs a creamy white
Against the starched white sheet, my face lifting now and then 
To the window, to distract myself from the solemnity by
Observing my final sunset

If I were to write a suicide note,
I would use the word ‘love’ as often as my heart
Nervously beats, in preparation for the coming stillness

If I were to write a suicide note,
I would remind you that were it not for you I would
Never have lived at all

I would tell you how you lifted my soul,
How you dragged me up from the depths,
The proverbial lotus flower pushing its blooms through
The sucking black mud

I would tell you how you were always with me,
Even when you weren’t – how your memory
Haunted, gently, bitter-sweetly

I would tell you how every time I closed my eyes 
I saw your face,
Etched by angel fingers on the thin red easels of my lids

I would tell you how, to me, this feeble dying girl,
You were the most beautiful thing in the world
More beautiful than fresh-blooming roses,
Or a tropical sunset
More sacred than temples or churches
More radiant than the sun,
That blazing god 
More poignant than the moon, 
In all her melancholy splendor
More overwhelming than my frail heart could bear

If I were to write a suicide note,
It would quickly become a love sonnet,
Devoted wholly to you
And my death would be lost in the subtext... 


Details | Free verse | |

Lay Me Down to Sleep

now I lay me down to sleep
with wrists that bleed from cuts so deep
my eyes so dry
nothing left with which to cry
and I slowly begin to die
for you this should surely be goodbye
with my final breath do I wish to say
my heart with you did forever stay
but do you care either way
what I say as i pass away
my heart for you kept on caring
despite a fact I can not continue baring
seeing you with her once more
from my chest, my heart was tore
and still I continue to say
my heart with you will surely stay