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Ballad Depression Poems | Ballad Poems About Depression

These Ballad Depression poems are examples of Ballad poems about Depression. These are the best examples of Ballad Depression poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Ballad | |

Bloom Not, Wolfsbane

Bloom not, cruel wolfsbane
In this forward spirit of mine
Let the moon dim and wane
For love has diseased my kind 

The girl was luscious in the wake
Rising at break of dawn
If only she knew I was a mistake
Before we made the bond

I grew fond of her everyday
And night gave me loathe and dread
My heart was weak, I couldn’t send her away
But fed in her desires instead

I kissed her in the forest of green
I had forgotten what I am
I gazed into those eyes, so keen!
A smooth and gentle lamb

 
One day I stopped to think a bit
My stomach wrenched and twirled
Through love I had lost my sense and wit
To a pitiful village girl!

Avoiding her best I could
I hid from beauty’s caresses
But again she found me in the wood
And so grew the obsession

But so grew the moon
And the waning was abstaining
Good night, wonders of the noon
With memories remaining

Alone I wandered in the cold
Knowing it was coming
The sky grew dark, the sun was sold
Behind the madness blooming 

Transforming! Changing!
My mind went all a blur
Rage deforming! Madness deranging!
I couldn’t think of her…  

The time was gone!
The night had come!
I thought I was alone
But then I saw her standing there
Pale and stiff as stone

I woke up that dawn sitting there
On the forest floor
And there lay she all bloodied and bare
The lamb that I adore!

The wounds I found were like a gift
I know they were from my girl
I’m glad she fought her will to live
As I blindly devoured her

An honorable lamb with bloodied hooves
She’ll never leave my vision
Sacrificed for ravenous wolves  
And no cry for jurisdiction 

 Bloom not cruel wolfsbane
In this forward spirit of mine
Let the moon dim and wane
For love has diseased my kind 

-an oldie , hehe
For Pd's Contest : )



Details | Ballad | |

This Song is for my Mother

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
I couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
A song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created and cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Memory of a mother
Shared my dreams and really cared

Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Mama…
I know I wasn’t there……

For you

Would have placed 
A magic carpet 
‘neath your weak and shaky legs

Would have raised
A strong west wind
Let you breathe with ease again

Would have bribed 
God’s venal angels
Come and soothe your endless pain

Would have vanquished
All the demons
And bring peace to you again

Be the child
I never knew
In a land
We won’t grow old

Be the light
I always loved
Warmed my dark 
And lonely soul

Be the girl
Playing games
In a world 
The sun won’t set

Be the laughter
Calms my heart
I never will forget
I won’t forget, won’t forget

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
Couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
Song about old promises 
Made so long ago
Created….cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke

I broke my promises, oh mama
Now you’ve gone away 
I’m broken
Drowning in the pain each day

I’m  drowning…drowning...drowning…drowning

This song is for my mother
Let her hear me…….



Details | Ballad | |

Disturbed Child

That disturbed child
The teen girl with no friends, 
and is rejected by her loved ones
She feels broken inside,
like theres no other choice
She takes the iron razor, 
she puts it to her arm and hopes the pain will fade,
but in the end it only makes her feel worse
She does this to herself not because she is sad, 
but because she doesn't think any one cares
She thinks 
What if I put this razor to my throat,
and ended my life
Would they care then?
She feels like no one cares 
What she doesn't realize is, 
if she died a river of tears would come,
even faster then the blood would run from her
If she only knew life can be brighter 
If she would only see, 
that she is loved
That disturbed child, 
We miss her
and theres no getting her back
What could we have done
Was there any changing her mind
Only God knows


Details | Ballad | |

DEPARTURE

“Without departure “

Long expected on this one day,
Heads headed two ways,
Lingering without time,
Doves, glide in to wave goodbye.
Your wings on us have grown.
Never will I fold your friendship like a flag that had flown.
Smiles you are so wise and poetic.
With the right kind of pleasure and pride of your own.
Untied after your rope pulled you another way. 
Free to come back and smile on us one day. 
Barren like gust and sun lighten plumes, on a rainy day.
In my eyes, you will always be the successor that got away.
I’ll await once more for your wandering heart, to compose.
I fell without departure to your notes.
My days will gaze for you to jump in with two feet and return, 
Yet, I will suffer..................
and lump it with a giant gulp, and ask :-( 
Must you really engage us with a sadden farewell?

by;pd

inspired by: David William's............ poem "I"...
~for Joann's contest~


Details | Ballad | |

Is It Worth It

Love can seem so happy and so wonderful
But it can hurt and take away from life too
You make me so happy and make me feel so special
But then you turn around and make me feel like ****
love can turn you into a whole new person
But you could change into to something great or something no one wants
Love seems so wonderful at first 
But spending my days not knowing if you want me or even care for me is agonizing 
Sometimes i feel like your lying to me but if i say that then you'll get mad again
Your such a loose cannon, ready to burst with rage and tears
Love is so temperamental 
so can you tell me....... 
Is It Worth It?


Details | Ballad | |

Unanswered Poems

Don’t send me more 
Of your tragic poems
My dear 
Covered in blood
Of your monthly flood
Of tears

Don’t send me more 
Of your angry poems
My dear
Carved with the knife
Of your molten spite
And fears

I’m just a peddler 
With a cart
Bringing discount words
To hearts
Broken hearts across the land
Woman left without her man
Broken hearts throughout the world
Anguished boy and crying girl

Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to read, for me to bear
Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to get from here to there

Don’t send me more
Of your bitter poems
My sweet
Forged in the fire
Of your endless ire
And grief

Don’t send me more 
Of your hopeless poems
My sweet
Ripped from the womb
Of the lonely room
You keep

I’m just a peddler 
With a cart
Bringing discount words
To hearts
Broken hearts across the land
Woman left without her man
Broken hearts throughout the world
Anguished boy and crying girl

Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to read, for me to bear
Your poetry’s too heavy, dear
For me to get from here to there

(You see that shadow on the road
Trudging ‘neath its heavy load
A heart weighed down by sands of time
And your poems only make him cry
And he won’t add them to the pile
So he can walk another mile)

(And he won’t add them
To the pile
So he can walk 
Another mile)

Too heavy, dear 
Too heavy, dear
For me to read 
For me to bear

(They make him sad
Make him cry
Beat him down
Deep inside)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear

They make me sad
Make me cry
Feel as though 
I want to die

(And he won’t add them
To the pile
So he can walk 
Another mile)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear

(A heart weighed down 
By sands of time
And your poems 
Only make him cry)

Too heavy, dear
Too heavy, dear
For me to read
For me to bear



Details | Ballad | |

Lost in Mind

I am all alone and there is nobody around,
Even in a crown I cannot hear a sound,
The music of intelligence was neither in Maine nor was it bound,
After years of stupidity, I felt as if I would one day drown.

I survived intellectually, living dormant inside my own head,
I retreated inside so that my thoughts would never become dead,
I no longer existed to them, but became happier instead,
I had made a friend and that friend was in my head.

Lack of intelligent conversation can be horrible and cruel,
The idiots around me are like dogs, not even swallowing their drool,
They have their morals mute and not one moral rule,
My own imagination is what gave my sanity it's fuel.

I am no longer in the asylum, locked in a mental cell,
I am no longer stuck inside this immoral hell,
Recovery is happening slow, however, I can surely tell,
Those people are dead to me, and my sanity has returned.


Details | Ballad | |

Windows Apart

She slips away silently, to escape mothers screams
And crawls so softly, into bed, into dreams

His dreams became so dark
Left them to his escape into the dark
To dream open eyes outside window 
Across his vision he saw as light lost its flicker 

Loss for air she lay, sobbing away sorrow
But she felt invaded, grasping in surprise's horror
So close these shattered mirrors lay
A soft curious cry,a leaf blow away
Together now their halos became so clear
The coping of bewildered souls to share

He slips away silently, to escape his skeleton's haunts
And crawls softly, into new arms, to cure a world of wants


Details | Ballad | |

Prune

Cut down what you do not like of me
Growing wrong-all wrong-it's all you see
Strip away my beauty

Once was I so tall...so large and proud
But you cut me down to the crowd
Strip away my  beauty

Why must I be changed so
Why couldn't you just let me grow
Strip away my beauty

Without my stems, my leave, my blooms I feel so bare
I am without a body now...so vulnerable--it isn't fair
Strip away my beauty 

I am gone now, and in my place is an imposter
This...this thing is not me...can't you see it is an imposter
strip away my beauty


Details | Ballad | |

The girl

See the girl living on the streets? does anyone know she is there,
Do you see that girl down in the dumps? and does anyone care.
We don't know the reason that she left her home and do any of us want to know?
She's out in all weathers without any covers in rain, hail and snow.
Does anyone wonder if she's ever lonely when we're all tucked up in our beds,
when she's wet and cold,  and we're warm and cosy does it ever enter our heads.
She might have been beaten when her home she left, she's sad and she's lonely and often bereft. 


Does anyone see me alone on the streets? trying to smile at all that I meet,
asking for pennies for a warm cup of tea, we're not all on drugs, at least not me.
I'm trying to avoid going down that road I try to remember the things I've been told.
Stories of people lying in the gutter, and people passing by all of a mutter.
Do they care, what they see there? I suppose they think it's everywhere !
But I would like to say to all of you . I don't take drugs, I'm one of the few.
So to all of you sat home by your fires, spare a thought for me,
when you pass me by tomorrow, I'd love a cup of tea.


Details | Ballad | |

Across the Way

Seven half-naked men gather around the table
For a meal that is to me only foreign
They speak in tones of joy
Tones nearly obscure to my ears
But oh, so near
My eyes avert from my glance
Picking up a dish from the sink 
I scrub the grime away
The laughter grows in a masculine crescendo   
And the tone is nourished into vibrancy
My curiosity is but a dull pan
Awaiting a wash and rinse
Stuck into the sticky filth of envy
I envy the joyous expression
Yet I welcome insipid depression
Happiness and content so far from me
But merely. . .across the way

No embarrassment of their exteriors
By far their lives feel superior
The language they speak is nothing to me
But tones and emotion I can never reach
Oh, how far you are
The motivation; the nourished vibrancy
From me you are clean
As the guck collects within
Somehow I cannot hide from the light of their words
The distant, alien joy
My sense of inner unity is so coy
Compared to these gathered strangers—my neighbors
The brotherhood—that I can only discreetly witness
I can only pick myself up
Like this lonely, dirty cup
And glance at the seven half-naked men 
Across the way


Details | Ballad | |

Enemy inside

rip open my chest
look inside, dig around
flesh, bone, bloody mess
knife cutting down

search every inch
bellow the stomach, spline
my hands are drenched
in fluid and cream

Slice open the pipes
cut off the air
I’d rather die
than live this share

It must be inside
I feel it so much
Something that slides
avoiding the touch

If I could cut
straight through the muscle
into that hole
hear it russell

against my back bone
clenching with threat
sitting like stones
I’ll cast it a net

Damn the liver
it gets in the way
I must see what it is
something must pay

Don’t stop at the lungs
it wraps them tight
it hides and it runs
needing no light

cut open my chest
from forward to side
cut this death
leave it no where to hide

It steels all the grace
I beg for at night
and leaves me a taste
of evil’s delight

If I could just look in
feel it and touch
the misery friend
i wish I could clutch

hold it out high
for all to see
this is what life
has made of me


Details | Ballad | |

Succubus In Bloom Lyrics

Well you’ve gone where the cold wind blows, and the soil is plagued with fear.  Treat your wounds. Rest awhile, 
the DEVIL can’t find you here. 2X
Box full of bones and the serpents they know not to cross her path. 
The locusts they rise and take to the sky, 
you know not the spells you cast. 2X
Sweet misery she comes pure and fair round the witching hour.
Her smile cuts deep as I drift off to sleep.
In a box my bones will go.4X
Father bless this child of sin consume her eyes and salvage her skin drape it across her mother’s face to bind and hold the tears in.
Mistress of black, I know you’ll come back with razors thirsty and clean.
This canvas of flesh Please remove your dress and (drain me of my sin)4X
Sweet misery she comes pure and fair round the witching hour.
Her smile cuts deep as I drift off to sleep.
In a box my bones will go.4X


Details | Ballad | |

Martyr for the Unorthodox word

If I had over 10,000 dreams You'd be the only thing my mind could see Judgment couldn't be real Succumbing to the fear of this cold life Find a way to break through The self-destruction of wordly delusions Don't tell me I've lived so long in a lovely illusion Break me down until we find a Nirvanic state Then bring me a savior from transgressions An atoning sacrifice Send down to me a messenger for me to submit to Bring me the truth to break through The delusion Bring me the messenger to explain it all And let me leave behind Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word


Details | Ballad | |

let her go

she wants to do
what she wants to do
even if she don't ask
she has dreams that is bigger than this town
i just need to relax
that car don't have enough room for me
even if she ask me to tag along
i just don't want to let her go

(chorus/hook)
for the start of this life
she's ready than she ever been
for the rest of my life 
i just stare at this picture on the wall
wondering if she's alright
I've counted all my blessings
but i just need to let her go

she gots to do
what she gots to do
even if she doesn't call back
in 4 years she's graduated
i'm there to watch her succeed
even though she doesn't see me 
she can hear me from a distance

(repeat chorus)

she says things are getting better
when she knows it's falling apart
i wear this smile on my face to ease my broken heart
only if she knew
what i wanted to say
to put a smile on her face

(repeat chorus)


Details | Ballad | |

I'm Only Loving You Once

Because I'm only loving you once
I want to make it perfectly clear
No one can take that away from me
And it's a life of fear

I'm only loving you once
Forever in this life of pain
Death would solve this problem
For there is nothing left to gain

I'm only loving you once
Too bad you can't love me
If you could only love me once
We'd love through all eternity


Details | Ballad | |

Broken Dreams

  Do you believe in the things that you've always known,
Can you understand the things you've been shown.
   Is it the visions you see that make you believe,
Or is the feelings you get when you've been deceived.
    The pain you feel a never ending ache ,
Tearing your heart and soul from you every day.
    Time ticks slowly pounding away at you,
Throbbing heart breaking and there's you can do,
    Must I settle for these lost and broken dreams,
Because it has all the signs that what it seems.
    How much should a man endure to find his way,
It cant possibly be like this hard for me every day.
    There is nothing so frustrating as being so confused,
Especially when you've discovered that you've been used.
    I will get through this lonely phase I have no doubts,
But I'm sure there will come a day I'll figure it all out.
    Cautiously I walk the path that's been laid before me,
In faith I will continue for I know he will let me see.
    Life will be thrown at you in so many different ways,
I will be prepared for these things for the rest of my days.
    Broken dreams will be the learning tree for me to grow ,
Living my life with Joy Happiness is what I'll always Know.
tac


Details | Ballad | |

The Boy Who Wasnt Ready To Grow

Amidst of all the sorrow,
stood still a boy who wasnt ready to be the man he supposed to grow,
In the decaying dime for  bitter crumbs, 
Only the slickest minds could climb,
The rising wall of the Notre Damme.

He wasnt ready,no.not yet.

The timekeeper keep blowing the whistle,he said the time is up,
young stud would u please keep up! 

And so he ran like a scared prey on the hunt,
Out where no one could find,
in the Disneyland of the Outcast,  away from the past,
Tranquilized under the moonlight glow.

He’s just the boy who wasn’t ready to grow.


Details | Ballad | |

When the Lavender Returns

As cold as ice
Wrapped round your brain
And darkness unfolds
You’re breathing in pain

It’s been freezing here   
In this Land of Shattered Dreams 
It’s been freezing here 
This corrupted winter stings 

It’s been freezing here  		
(Où est la Lavande?)
Your body can’t stay warm  	
(Où est la Lavande?)
 It’s been freezing here  		
(Où est la Lavande?)
This cruel and criminal storm  	
(Où est la Lavande?)

But don’t give up
Don’t despair
Taste the hope 
Floating through the air

When the lavender returns
It’ll warm your frozen bones
Vivid violet clothes
In their candy overtones

When the lavender returns
It’ll race across the land
Rebel flower grows
In the palm of your free hand

If you look out your window
The ground’s parched and bare
If you call for your lover
She’s no longer there
If you ponder your life
Well, it feels like a wreck
And your failures are scars
You can never forget

As leaves turn brown
Sky fades to grey
You’re feeling the drought
The end of the day

It’s been lonely here
In this World of Fallen Souls
It’s been lonely here
With nowhere left to go

But don’t give up
Don’t despair
Taste the hope 
Floating through the air 

When the lavender returns
It’ll warm your frozen bones
Vivid violet clothes
In their candy overtones 

When the lavender returns   	
(Où est la Lavande?)
It’ll race across the land 	         
(Où est la Lavande?)
Rebel flower grows  			
(Où est la Lavande?)
In the palm of your free hand   	
(Où est la Lavande?)

When the lavender returns    	
(Où est la Lavande?)
It’ll warm your frozen bones   	
(Où est la Lavande?)
Vivid violet clothes  			 
(Où est la Lavande?)
In their candy overtones  		 
(Où est la Lavande?)


Details | Ballad | |

You're Just A Stranger

Why do you despise me
why can't you let me be,
how come you always pestering me.
How come you can not see
I am beginning to turn my love away from thee
Just as you are turning your hate on me.

I proceed biting my words back 
and just nodding my head
you think i am the one to blame
but you'll end up losing me instead.
I try to talk to you, but you
cut me out and shut your ears
where will this get us
in fifteen or so years.
 
You bring down the pressure
while i try to do as you say
Only until i lose, you win
will you stop yelling and walk away.

Here i sit, expressing my stress on paper
only hoping tomorrow will bring
something better
and that i won't lose my life forever.
Please forgive me 
for this paper may be wet with tears
I know this is a stage in life,
I pray will pass in a few years. 

As i write my anger fades
but when i think about you it returns
I hope we both learn from this
For I may lack empathy
but you are always so very stern.
It seems everything I do
has gotten on your nerves
And I know you don't hold it inside
For your anger does surly splurge.

Tonight you have taken my phone
and cut me off from my friends I truly need
your words hit me hard,
and to you I can not plead.
Someday I may realize
what you did was probably right
I will try to understand,
I will try with all my might.
But until that day
or until through my eyes you see,
You are still a stranger
You're just a stranger to me.

Nov. 21. 2011


Details | Ballad | |

The Song of the Loner

Cut out from the rest, feeling so left out I lay my head on my hands and sigh: Why did things have to happen this way Why is it that I was denied? Denied the basic friendship, A meager ounce of which could help, To grow in thought, deed, word and spirit, To help strengthen myself. Why is it that I feel the need, To sit in the corner and cry? The cold creeps in and I’m overcome By the darkness and void of the night. I lift my head and open my eyes, The tears they blur my sight, And through hazed vision I notice a single star, A lone beacon in the sky. The clouds they part and a million other stars Come out from hidden slumber; They join with that single star to make The glow in the night sky brighter. Combined with the light of the great white moon, They light up the earth below. Their twinkle and their glimmer reflects on the pool, Of tears lying on the floor. Suddenly the truth hits me: My life was playing right before me! I realize that soon the time would come When I would not be lonely. That there would come a day when I wouldn’t have to weep In self pity and dismay; That the clouds of hate and bitterness Would one day roll away. That the love and friendship I duly deserve Would fall like summer rain Refreshing my soul and replenishing my spirit Making me whole again. Yet till that day I have to wait And learn to shine on my own. So for now I stand up and wipe away my tears; My spirit no longer forlorn.


Details | Ballad | |

The Forgotten Ones

Forgotten somewhere in the midst of steel and concrete. 
Bound by shackles and chains even in our sleep. 
Living like wolves preying amongst lost sheep. 
Concrete tears and pains so mindfully deep. 

Forgotten by those on the outside. 
We cant even run no where, we cant even hide. 
No choice left but to sit and fight. 
In here only the strong minded survive. 
Truth be told in here what is wrong is right. 

All most os us got is wasted M&^*&F*^&&ng time. 
We sit back and work out and write heartfelt rhymes. 
Not to be a victim of prey we all trying. 
Many stories are told, songs are written of truth over lying. 

We are gone for the moment but not truly forgotten so the hurt we must not show it.
 We are to old while we young to be crying in front of full grown men for this is a time we must out grow it.
 There aint no way out this hell hole and we all know it. 
Feelings of hopelessness surrounds te heart to the point where we can no longer control it.
 
In here there is only time no fun. 
Darkness fills night no light shone in here from the sun. 
Only by our own selves we may be out done. 
BECAUSE IN HERE IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE TRULY THE FORGOTTEN ONES....


Details | Ballad | |

Drought

We pray good times will come again,
As we sit and beg for rain,
We pray good times will soon draw nigh
As we dry the tears we cry,
And watch our livestock die.

I am tired of singing the same old song
This drought has lasted way too long
Ten years now it has been
Since decent rain we have seen
As storm clouds gather on the coasts
Flooding rivers, roads and signposts
We wait hoping, praying for a bit
Those coastal towns are always hit

We pray good times will come again,
As we sit and beg for rain,
We pray good times will soon draw nigh
As we dry the tears we cry,
And watch our livestock die.

We save and skimp and stand our ground
Praying for that magic sound 
Of raindrops hitting thirsty earth,
Filling dams, creating rebirth
When the rains fall far away
Flooding waters speed our way
Drowning livestock, stealing fences
Removing soil, causing dam breaches 

We pray good times will come again,
As we sit and beg for rain,
We pray good times will soon draw nigh
As we dry the tears we cry,
And watch our livestock die.

Life on the land is tough, they say
Yet we are tougher still, we pray
Not often do we take a stand
But now we need your helping hand
Livestock and men are dying here
Women weep for all they hold dear
The time has come we cannot wait
Depression is looming at our gate

We pray good times will come again,
As we sit and beg for rain,
We pray good times will soon draw nigh
As we dry the tears we cry,
And watch our men folk die.


Details | Ballad | |

Destruction

Destruction.

The silent sound of a falling tree
The oil that chokes the dying sea.
They push our planet to its ruin.
These foolish powers, what are they doing?
A tree it falls, to a sorry end.
My mystic tree, my dearest friend.
Oh how I loathe the things they do
They’re taking life from me, and you.

As men get rich with worthless things
Through the damage that greed does bring.
They spill their slime each place they go
As in their wake destruction grows.
With seas a dying, choked of life
As grey green slime be causing strife.
Sea creatures cry and scream with fear
As the planet dies but greed won’t hear.

The ozone layer be growing sick
As populations grow so thick.
The green folk try to combat greed
But their advice those powers don’t heed.
This thing weighs heavy in the air.
The tower crumbles but they don’t care.
This Planet dies I love so well
As mankind paves, its way to hell.

18 May 2014 @ 1142hrs


Details | Ballad | |

Fear Nothing And Be Yourself

Build up the courage
To get out of the car
walk with you head up 
look them in the eye 
show them your not scared 
walk through the the doors 
face your fears 
don't fire back 
at their comments 
talk to your friends 
don't rush to class 
they can't hurt you 
not anymore 
your safe now 
no more bullies 
they can't find you 
your bullies mean 
nothing anymore 
ingore them look straight ahead 
like they are dead or never exsisted


Details | Ballad | |

WALK TO NOWHERE

This morning alone
Silence echoes in my home
No one to share the paper
No one to make me better
It'll never be the same
Without you here
It's so clear, I'll be alone in mourning

Girl, its too much to bear 
You're already there 
You're already there
And my heart left with you
Now I'm a shell of a man
Trying to do what he can
On an aimless walk to nowhere

Passing the time
No reason no rhyme
No one for me to remember with
No one to shop for a surprise gift
I'm holding on to air
Knowing you're not there
Only time is passing by

Girl, its too much to bear 
You're already there 
You're already there
And my heart left with you
Now I'm a shell of a man
Trying to do what he can
On an aimless walk to nowhere

I don't want to say it
It feels so wrong to think it
To find another way (another way)
Just to make it through the day
Something that makes sense
Hope's hidden evidence
Cause I really can't go on
If my life becomes this song..

Girl, its too much to bear 
You're already there 
You're already there
And my heart left with you
Now I'm a shell of a man
Trying to do what he can
On an aimless walk to nowhere

*Written from my brother in laws perspective after the death of my sister

Little Known Nothings Contest
Poet: LyricMan


Details | Ballad | |

Antigone

I am the face of misery
My life, a dissonance of autumn and spring,
The years are written in the same
Lugubrious, nostalgic grey
How can it be the author to blame?
I cannot scream this all away…
Burn nor Bleed this all away…
To Death I am Ordained

Lacuna ever growing
With Velvet sheets of life flowing
Aeons apart of my "royalty"
Under the mask the cannot see...
Can you dispel this tragedy:
Antigone - Epiphany failing

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

No words of hope
No words of hate
Do I have Lenore to send to me:
The sordid child of Thebes
Caught In the longest nightmare
life - the slowest way to die

I know this is my life 
But I'm not under control
under the mask the will see
Just Another Human

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

Can you dispel my life; this tragedy?
Can you control the storm in my mind?
I'm asking you: can you rid me
Of The Curse of Antigone?


Details | Ballad | |

LETS OPINION BE DIFFERENT

Let's opinion be different so there is story
I do not like to air criticism
I just only like to ask
And the question itself will be criticism
Criticism on people who were asked
If to ask would be more prudent
Criticism is quite violent
I am so afraid of violence
I have to use the technique
Technique to ask with its critique 
And that is certainly more painful
Like a snake that run along quiet
But the extract of poison is very painful
I also laughed when criticism aired among
True indeed… 

Translation...


PENDAPAT BIAR BERBEZA
Oleh Neldy Jolo

Biarkan pendapat itu berbeza jadi ada cerita
Aku tidak suka berkritik
Aku suka sahaja betanya
Dan pertanyaan itu sendiri akan jadi kritikan 
Kritikan pada orang yang ditanya
Kalau bertanya akan lebih berhemah
Mengkritik itu agak keras 
Aku sangat takut kekerasan
Aku kena menggunakan teknik
Teknik bertanya dengan kritikan bersamanya
Dan yang pastinya itu lebih pedih
Ibarat ular yang menyusur tenang
Tetapi bisanya sangat pedih
Aku juga tertawa bila berkritikan sesama
Benar belaka…



Wednesday, 20 March 2013, 4:59 PM
Let US All Save Peace. Ilyimy. Layag Sug!
Puisi hasil perkongsian cerita dengan Cikgu Ezza Fazlina Jamlidi


Details | Ballad | |

Voice in the Night

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope
After the world turned dark

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Healing words
Made from
Angel heart

Oh, her chocolate whisper
Warm convincing breeze
Oh, her breathy laughter
In the shadow of my need 

Don’t you hear the voice?
Save  you from despair
Don’t you hear the voice?
Sent by ghosts who care

Don’t you hear the voice?
Rises like a prayer
Come to rescue you
From your earthly snare

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope 
Kissed my tears away

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Now I dance
To a magic serenade

Don’t you hear the voice?
Memories of home
Don’t you hear the voice?
Pretty as a poem

Don’t you hear the voice?
Vivifies your soul
Bathes you in a pool 
Love you’ve never known

How do I thank
The voice in the night?
Call of hope
After the world turned dark

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head
Lady caller,
Take me, take me
To your bed

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head
Lady caller
Raise me, raise me
From the dead

Voice inside the darkness
Gets into my head


Details | Ballad | |

No One Knows Me

No One will ever truly know me.
How can they when they never even 
try,
because I smile they assume I am 
happy.

No One Knows Me.
I hide behind a mask,
they just never did get it.

No One Knows Me.
It is a difficult task,
always there for people but they are 
never truly there for me.

No One Knows Me.
Friendships, I have many,
if I do why do I still feel alone in this 
world?

No One Knows Me.
I guess it is just a curse,
they wouldn't understand.

No One Knows Me.
They wouldn't care,
they would call it a teenage phase.

The emotionless mask will be up 
forever more,
waiting for someone to take it off of 
me.
No one will ever truly know me.




Details | Ballad | |

Zero

I was born pale and invisible
In a world
Sees everything 
Everything, everything….but me

Invisible to your touch
And doubt you’ll like me very much
Am I alive?
Was I ever me?

I’m a non-existent cipher
A pointless empty zero
Never added up to anything
A non-existent cipher
Pointless empty zero
Tell me….what does it all mean?

And now I think I want you
Ethereal body
Oblivious mask
And now I think I love you
Intelligent lips
Painted in black

But no need to look my way
Or give me the time of day

Can’t be with you 
In this world
Invisible man 
Never gets the girl

Oh, no...

I’ll find where you are
And watch from afar
You will be felt by me

I’ll find where you are
And watch from afar
You will be loved by me

Your 
Zero 
Tonight
Your 
Zero 
For life
Your zero
The day I die

Your zero….your zero

Zero


Details | Ballad | |

THE COFFIN SWAYS

The coffin sways;
The people grumbles;
Popping out drinks to libation,
Pacifying with the ancestors to receive the deceased;
As so is thought of the content in the coffin 
Unwilling to depart into the grave:
The coffin sways, and what is thought dead,
Has awakened from a long lasting coma;
Kicking and shouting so loud, but no one could possibly hear.
The coffin rest on holds of the family: swaying, and who cares.


Details | Ballad | |

Loosing A Child

It hurts very much,
When the one's you love,
Are ripped from your very life,
It makes you feel as if,
You are not up to being,
The person you should be,
In this dreary everyday world,
That can be so cruel.
So, think about how your life,
Is running it's very course,
And what changes you need to make'
To better your life,
In order to see the happiness,
Of keeping the beautiful thing,
You have created,
And brought into this very world,
So, you can keep this child,
Close to you in your life,
And watch it grow,
To bond with them each and everyday,
So, the child will never grow up,
knowing someone else,
As Mom and Dad,
Pushing you away from their life,
Till the day,
You will be totally gone,
From their hearts and minds,
Which is the sign of disaster all the way,
For it will be the hurt of a lifetime.


Details | Ballad | |

Missing Children

When children are taken from your life,
It is very devastating in so many ways to us all,
Some people say it is your fault,
To have the problems you have,
You have caused the distruction,
Of your own family in so many ways,
And you need to start making your own,
Correct choices in life to straighten things out,
For maybe then your children will,
Return back to you at your home where they belong,
For you to love and watch them grow,
So take things day by day,
And try to correct the steps you have made,
To where you can complete each task there is,
To bring your precious children back home,
To where they belong for you to love and charish them,
As a mother and father should,
Holding them each day they need you,
So you never get forgotten,
Each and every day of their wonderful lives.


Details | Ballad | |

Battle

Is it quiet enough here in your head? The chaos of the mind has subsided to a dull roar. The battle with self has come to a stalemate. Both sides have withdrawn, not in retreat, but in an attempt to resupply.


The rancid smell of past thoughts permeate your senses. Memories are left strewn across the war-zone, their death stark upon your emotions. It is time to recruit new dreams to send into the fight, to become heroes; or be left for dead on the battlefield in your head.


That the battle could be won says nothing of the war in your soul. It is here that the conflict escalates to nuclear proportions. Even though you hold your fingers over the button, your resolve is smashed. You bring those trembling fingers to your face, wipe the tears, and know you have failed again.


Or is it failure when you live to fight another day? A simple foot soldier in the trenches of yesterday never believes they are the future General of tomorrow. Often you live in the present fight, with tunnel vision focused on the enemy surrounding you. It is hell when you realize that the enemy is only you. But your back is against the wall and you are not accustomed to losing.


And the battle rages on, dreams are shattered against the front lines of reality. The masses engulf the weak; will is broken. The once barren plains now run red with the blood of hope. The skies are clouded with the mists of loss and the scent on the air induces the desire to stop breathing forever.


The last sounds you hear are screams. You never realize that the screams are your own.


Details | Ballad | |

Gazing Windward on a summer's Evening

Gazing Windward 
	on a summer’s evening
Loch David Crane
1981

Whose waves these are, I think I know:
   his home is in the sea below.
He will not see me stopping here
   to watch the whitecaps come and go.

Enlisted sailors think me weird
   -- civilian with no duty near—
they stop to wonder, one or two,
   if they can help me out of here.

Up from the depths comes royal blue,
  which lightens into turquoise too;
the aerating bubbles rise
   dissolved to see the cycle through.

Dark and deep beneath the skies
  the pulses in the ocean rise.
So lonely, not a seagull cries;
   so lonely.  Not a seagull cries. 


Details | Ballad | |

Love gone wrong

Glass shattered-
the bottles melting
that green-eyed feeling overcoming-
but the cause of it was you.
You're wandering eyes neglect me
while you pretend to look away
but I see right through those pretty brown eyes
and you definitely don't want to stay
I'm that safety net-
to a person who's my world
and while you
poke at my eyes
laugh at my fits
I know your real girl
and she's not the person you've been with
for a year now coming up
instead i'm just a distraction
trying to become better than you've had
but you can't even see that
I'm psycho- that's all there is to it
but remember when i'm gone
and realize my worth
that you were really nothing-
but a lesson gone wrong
a lesson that was supposed to relieve the grief
a lesson of love gone wrong


Details | Ballad | |

Isolation

How can I tell you?
I can't stay with you.

Neither I can give up on you.
Fear of losing you is losing me.
It feels like slow death every night.

But we are just stuck in our spaces!
Unable to connect from two feet distance.


Details | Ballad | |

A Better Life...

A Better Life

I don't know why she hides,
I don't know why she shivers,
I don't know why she cries,
I don't know why she quivers,

Daddy's girl is all alone,
And I don't know how to help her,
Daddy's world is all but blown,
And I don't know what to tell her,

What happened to her confidence,
And her self assured way,
Which used to be so prominent,
In all she did or would say,

Who stole my little girl’s heart,
And drove her to such confusion,
She now slowly does her part,
As if all she has is illusion,

She knows I would kill any other man,
For doing such harm to my little girl,
But this is much more than I can stand,
As it has forever blown apart my world,

They took ‘steps’ to the next level,
And now they each look to me in despair,
I warned them each to be careful,
But the forbidden fruit they shared,

Now I look at one without trust,
Yet I still love my son so very much,
I still hold her distant as I must,
But she needs Daddy’s healing touch,

Why do I have to be the bad guy,
When my children need my help,
I pushed one out and I still cry,
While I can't help her help herself,

There is no way to win here,
And my tears won't stop falling,
I have lost them both I fear,
And my fears won't stop calling,

I don’t know what to do anymore,
Or how I can help either of them,
Both children my heart cries out for,
But the truth is neither can win, 

And for this my darling kids,
I am so sorry I can’t decide,
Which to disown or which to kiss,
When I am actually on both your sides,

So I pray that both her and him,
Of whom I am so very proud,
Do not give up and become victims,
Who wear this pain like a shroud,

I pray both of you hear my advice,
Get over this hardship and understand,
This lesson with its terrible price,
Is one where you do as best you can,

To forgive and move on from here,
Without Dad having to choose a side,
And to let go of all that you fear,
If you want to grow to have a better life.


Details | Ballad | |

Forever Changed

 I heard the footsteps coming and I 
knew this would be another long 
night
And something inside me screamed 
this time it really isn’t right
The words he was saying were 
ruthless and cruel
And each time he hit me I sat there 
and obeyed each and every rule
I sat there blank faced and scared 
knowing that I couldn’t cry
For I knew what would happen if he 
saw the tears in my eyes

Each and every swing felt worse and 
worse
And then all I wanted was to be dead 
in a hearse
He got real close and whispered 
“***** I wish you weren’t alive”
And all I was thinking was you’re 
right, I wish I wouldn’t survive
He threw against the wall then 
proceeded to pin me to the ground 
He hit me again, covered my mouth, 
not letting me make a sound

I started to struggle and tried to 
release myself of his forceful grip
Then the next thing I heard was a 
loud, horrifying rip
His hands were cold and I cringed at 
first touch
I don’t understand how a father 
could hate his daughter so much
I froze and I couldn’t believe that this 
was really going on
I just kept looking at the clock 
wanting him to be gone

I tried so badly not to think of the 
sharp pain
And this wasn’t part of his usual 
game
I closed my eyes wishing the time 
would just pass by
And that next time I opened them I 
would be up in the sky
He pushed harder and harder and 
excruciating pain was all I felt
The next thing I heard was the 
unbuckling of his belt

Something happened inside of me 
that I can not explain
I got this surge of energy and said “f 
you and your reign”
Somehow, someway I got out just in 
time
But what he had already done will 
never get out of my mind
From then on my life has been 
forever changed
It was like all I knew had been 
rearranged
I hate him with everything I have in 
me and so much more
And one day I want to end this war



Source: Forever Changed, Rape 
Poem http://
www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/
forever-changed#ixzz2Q0m1AseR 
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com


Details | Ballad | |

Cassandra

Revelation Said In Stone Appeared an Eon ago of Shame and Sin, Something we all know But not it's rise, For is has already became Virtue Flaming Skies from an Angel So Bright The World's Cure for Soul-Blight A Hell on Earth A Savior's Worth So many Dreams are cast then Forgotten So many lives are brought up then just Thrown back down Maybe she is The Cure Maybe she is The Plan All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Release me and Burn away this land Hold me by The Hand Tell me the past is just pretend Give me The Cure If this is your destiny Then May it be mine I would die in time I'm Just another Obstacle In the way of your divine Wings Forget me Cassandra For Doom was already meant for me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Valkyrie of Heart Angel of Grace I surrender to You Savior by Destiny Dispel all Tragedy Especially me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim


Details | Ballad | |

Academy of American Poets & Poetic Justice

For years I have wasted,
Precious time spent with you,
And it is time I faced it,
You are mean-hearted and cruel,

You ravage the inspired souls,
Who fall for your covert snares,
And while the many pay their tolls,
You parade your chosen’s fares,

You teach that poetry inspires,
And yes you’ve proven it true,
For you are all hideous liars,
Your judgments so very cruel,

Winners of your tainted contests,
Are always the same chosen few,
While other poets are held in jest,
And told they must pay their dues,

I mean have you actually read,
Some of the fodder you hold high,
Rambling words spewed noxious and dead,
Which waste the eager reader’s time.

Most have no rhyme or reason,
And lack of any story to tell,
For they fester like a lesion,
And erupt with a worthless spell,

And upon the oh so rare occasion,
A true poet shows you gifted grace,
Your editors mock without cessation,
That in poetry they have the final say.

So go about your selfish greedy missions,
Where you only admit those with your views,
To accomplish their life-long ambitions,
And be recognized for their great works too.

Yes this world is full of those full of themselves,
And you do nothing to help those who turn to you,
For the self righteous is reserved a special circle of hell,
One of hollow accolades from a mirror only of you,

You could change and empower those moved to poetry,
Those who have been hurt or dream of something better,
These poor spirits where their hopeful poetry can seed,
A life sewn with hope by simply connecting letters.


Details | Ballad | |

WHISPERS OF BOLOBOK

Hussshhhh of the sea breeze
Bolobok Cave nears it
Rain drops falling on my face
Trim down my long pony-tailed hair
Small crabs crawling over the brownish sand surface
Small stones scattered over
 Small caves with limestone
And having freshwater downstairs
Said there were ladders to climb and unclimb
To see the down caves
Now in a mysterious looks waiting for renovations
Where are these caretakers of nature?
The beauty of eye lenses looking at it
Please come and rescue this whispering ambiance of serenity 
For generations to enjoy
If this is an early human settlement 
Come take your responsibility
Oh the caretakers please come
Thank you


3 January 2013
Early Human Settlement
Bolobok Cave (Sungab Bulubuk)
Bongao, Tawi-Tawi Island
Sulu Archipelago

 


Details | Ballad | |

Crystal Brook

Crystal Brooke.

Crystal Brooke was beautiful
She smiled like the morning sun
With eyes of blue, and velvet hair
And such a sense of fun
Everyone did love her so
This sweet unselfish girl
Just one look into here beauty
Could set men’s hearts a whirl.

She dreamed that one day she would be
A star of great repute
And that she had a lot of talent
There was none who would refute
One day a mogul passing by
Did hear this lady sing
He made of her a singing star
And fame to her did bring.

At first this life was wonderful
Oh, she had everything
And millions paid out all their doe
Just to hear the lady sing
Then as her fame spread far and wide
Her ego it did grow
And then the booze and drugs took hold
And took away her glow.

Her life became quite miserable
Her manner became quite sour
All true beauty faded then
As she lost all her power
Then one day she could take no more
And so she took her life
Living in a goldfish bowl
Had caused her too much strife.

30 December 2013 @ 1300hrs.





Details | Ballad | |

Blackhole

Don't got no heart 
It's just a black hole
Cold as stone 

Haven't found anyone
to make it beat
make a rythem 
Bring it back to life 

There's just a empty space 
Where my heart should be 
It's just a black hole 
Been  broken so much
Nothing left for anyone to break

My heart's been hurt so much 
Couldn't take it anymore 
SO it decided to shrivel up and die

In it's wake it left me 
Feeling broken and cold inside
All that's left is a black hole
to replace my shattered heart

Till someone can make it beat again 
make a rythem 
Bring it back to life!
Let me have a heart again 
There will be nothing but a black hole 
In my chest


Details | Ballad | |

Beware of Your Shadow

When everything and everyone repel from you
Because of the evil you emanate,
Your hushed shadow always stays with you-
It stays true like a son, or a loving dog,
right at your heels, never talking.
Speechless as a stick.

But beware
When that very Shadow starts stalking you
Since it has had enough of your evil stench
There is nowhere else to self conceal....

For you will Look over your shoulder
And it will still be there, there and there-
Like the eery ghost of the victim you gutted.

You will Shiver and thin and thin
As teeth quiver and rattle in a blink
While that Shadow will but rub its nebulous hands
and grin, grin, grin,
And with cold-eyes, whisper-
"Till death do us part, buddy,
I shall Haunt you to death."


Details | Ballad | |

Starcrossed Tragedy

A Silent Night's Hunt for a Tigress so blunt, Left the Fiend dancing with my Thisbe's Cloack But where was She? Her Drenching blood is all I can see The Night of Sanguine, The Night of Rapture, Tonight was meant to be All Behold This Tragedy ran by Dark Energy, My Lost Lover's Plea A seed of what is to come, In this starcrossed Tragedy, For I can not live without you, My Pyramus, All I need, My reason to Breathe One sight of me bleeding away from reality, started this tragedy and with me It shall Grow The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy A Star traveling across the moonless Night Sky, In the mid-summer of Verona, Fell from her glorious light, I have lost my guide, My need for Life Every balcony I'll climb for you, Just to Caress you once more But now it is too Late, My Juilet Let the Poison Fill me My Body dyed In silence, Dipped in Paralysis, Forging the Will of God, Feigning the Clutches of Death, My Romeo I prithee to you, See past The Illusion, Caught in the Webs of Love's delusion A Dagger reached my heart once To see you martyr for our love A Dagger reached my heart twice The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy Once the Morning Retired from her weeping The sun shined into her eyes, then his Lifeless, their dream will live on Every Petal will be Avenged The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy


Details | Ballad | |

Coming out of the shadows

When I was a young man
I spent nigh on a year
In an ugly, war torn country
That drove me close to tears
They sent me home before my time
For my health was down a tad
And my nerves were shot to pieces
Like I was going mad.

They said I had the symptoms of
That post traumatic stress
And so they put me on a pension
Oh I was in a mess!
Anger, stress, anxiety
And paranoid as well
Oh, I was in the darkest place
An awful place to dwell.

I tried so many things, did I
To try to cure this thing
Gurus, shrinks, and self help books
But none of this did bring
The sanity that I did need
I just got worse and worse
As I drove all my love ones out
Oh, I was so damned terse.

Then one day I found this pair
Whilst searching through the net
They taught me how to look at me
How lucky can one get?
The looking made my life so sweet
I’m now completely sane
Each day’s so pure and wonderful
I’m through with all the pain.

15 July 2013 @ 1340hrs.




Details | Ballad | |

Corpse Bride

The braeþ of lyf -- I've Learned to fear
Though, ta'en it was, so long sinsyne
I've wroot my song of skreighs
He tore the lyf out of me
In sooth did she speke this to me - Cassandra was she to me
Wistful - I am no bride to be
Wistful - is this soliloquy of skreighs

I cede to thee, deathly colleen 
Though remains - façades of humanity 
Angel kind - wicce of my welkin dreams
Casted by the lote of she
Ta'en the hollow Herefro way - ne'er!
Caught with twain
W'ie or swain

Angel dearest so fair - love does not share
Seemed a crux, when eath is lone
I rose for thee - cede all of thy love to me
Or was this not meant to be
Eros's deceit 
So wistful - corpse bride I remain to be


Details | Ballad | |

Growing Emptiness

My flesh and bone, can't seem to hone
in on the substance I once had
Right and wrong, difference known
I never can choose anymore good over bad
I once was an optimistic hope filled inspiration
Now consumed by an empty shallow occupation
Fame, sex, drugs, feels good to the touch
but never, inevitably, amounts to much
Loving pleasure, hating to face pain
The suppression just makes me insane
Selfishness, recklessness and pride prevail
My half hearted attempts at decency always fail
Not because normalcy is unattainable
But because I choose instead to have my belly full
Once I chose depth and sincerity over surface greed
When darkness calls I now heed
While these things seem to satisfy now
I can't help to see my outlook on life is increasingly foul
A self inflicted wound, I must admit
I know this life is not a good fit
Once again I'm reminded that time after time
and all the same signs
I just can't seem to repress
This growing emptiness


Details | Ballad | |

Her Face

Her Face was perfection, Still see it everywhere
The beauty in her eyes, Please forgive my stare
Though to confess my love, 
Oh no, I wouldn't dare...
So I'll just keep thinking of her, But it's just not fair

Her Face won't go away, So engrained in my mind
This girl was different, Unlike any other I'll ever find
Oh how the two of us, 
How our lives could've aligned...
So now, to everyone else, My heart is blind

But she'll never know,
Just what I would've done to be with her!
That I'd gladly travel through time and space
Just to appreciate her beauty,
And wake next to Her Face

Her Face comforts me, Holds me tight and dear
Takes me to another world, A new frontier
I'm dreaming where she loves me so much, 
That part is clear...
But as I awake, Just shed another tear

Her Face and her love, I won't ever forget
Lust for her will remain, Lips will get wet
I'll be reminded of her, 
At each days sunset...
And I'll remember everything, From the first day we met

But she'll never know,
Just what I would've done to be with her!
That I'd gladly travel through time and space
Just to appreciate her beauty,
And wake next to Her Face

Her Face is the sunshine, A universal light
With it's soul and it's passion, It was quite a sight
Oh how just to see her, 
Brought me such delight...
But here I am all alone now, Another late night

Her Face will surely lift someone up, With unconditional love
So what will come of me, Can I rise above?
Without Her Face, 
I'm unsure thereof...
Because see, out of my mind, to her, I'll never shove

And she'll never know,
Just what I would've done to be with her!
That I'd gladly travel through time and space
Just to appreciate her beauty,
And wake next to Her Face

Her Face, I see it every night, In my dreams
Where everything will all align, Oh how it seems
We're walking together... 
Hands together, Along the forests blue streams

Her Face ignited feelings, Things I've never before felt
Just got to play the hand, The cruel hand I was dealt
I will always have my writing, 
To continue to dwell...
On a lost love to whom one day, I would've knelt


Details | Ballad | |

Dedication To A Short Life

My granddaughter was a sparkle in everyone's eye,
She brought happiness to everyone,
But her life didn't seem long enough,
To see the joys yet to be done.

Her life came to an end, 
Not by our choice,
God called her back,
To watch over us and make us realize our choices.

She was always happy,
And full of joy,
She always helped us realize,
There is always more to life than just toys.

Never forget the people close to your heart,
Because if you do,
They can disappear when you least  expect it,
And never be there anymore for you.


Details | Ballad | |

Zanaku, grey wolf.

He walks at night,
It sleeps by day,
Basking in the moonlight,
Or so they say,
With the form of a wolf,
And the soul of a man,
With a tale that can move,
And a mind that can plan,
With a coat of gray hair,
And eyes always crying,
People seem to care,
People are always lying,
He howls at the moon,
So desolate and sad,
Good times go too soon,
As did all that he had,
Living in the woods,
So far from redemption,
Plagued by dark thoughts,
Too many to mention,
The gray wolf walks alone,
Carrying his past,
All that he called his own,
Found it hard to last,
Staring at the clouds,
And standing in their rain,
Find no relief from his constant pain,
Such a doleful look,
Calls on the heart to bleed,
Life gave and then it took,
All that he came to need,
So he rises to go,
Lonely, though no one cares,
As if they didn't know,
Lone wolves don't come in pairs.


Details | Ballad | |

Bride She Is But Not My Bride

All these days, I wait the day,
Now that day has come,
Pour delicious healthy words,
Till I say, 'had some,'
Bride she is and bride she was,
And her heart was mine,
The girl I loved, still I love,
Hurt me more than fine,
still I love and still I love,
All her thoughts were mine,
Music plays the singers sing,
filling evils dine.

Hands on him and eyes on me,
All her hearts were mine,
Call me not and shake me not,
Till she show some sign,
Walking splendor, words tender
men will hail you high,
Silent thoughts of days that passed,
Now my heart will cry,
Fill with words and wipe my tear,
Pour me some more wine,
Music plays the singers sing,
filling evils dine.

Friends and kins, gone far away,
call them all to me,
comfort me, give me a hug
raise me up, off knee
guard my shoulders, please elders
let me cry out loud
blistering cold, climb my veins
walk me off this crowd,
O my girl in wedding gown,
ain't she just too fine
Music plays the singers sing,
filling evils dine.

Give a rope, tied with a knot,
I will hang my self,
mad enough, imagining,
I will kill my self,
beautiful bride, darling bride,
she was all I had,
smile to me, lie by my side,
begging you my love,
quit marrying, please resign,
come with me, my shine
Music plays the singers sing,
filling evils dine.

All these days I wait the day,
Now this day has come,
Pour delicious healthy words,
Till I say, 'had some'.
©Anees Rahman


Details | Ballad | |

How do we stop this evil

How do we stop this evil?

Little folk come out to play
Their hearts brim filled with joy
While foulest men, with deep, dark souls
Their innocence destroy
As the world becomes a poison place
Cause who can small minds trust?
Because of sour brittle, hearts
All filled with grime and lust
Childlike joy begins to fade
And life turns kind of sour
How will they flower??

A happy place all filled with joy
Is how it’s meant to be
So little children filled with life
Can feel alive and free
Yet dark warped ghouls all filled with lust
With evil in their hearts
They prey on all this innocence
And tear small hearts apart
These little souls, they be our future
They must be nurtured well
Or time will tell.

Butterflies no longer fly
And birds no longer sing
With only fear within their hearts
No joy does life then bring
For little folk just made to love
How does this evil grow
Oh, I don’t know!!.

It seems the world don’t care enough
To stop this crime for good
So children, they can laugh and play
In a good safe neighbourhood
If the remedy don’t come real soon
The future looks real grim
These children, they will rule some day
Then decency will dim
Because young minds so badly poisoned
Can only come from fear
This seems so clear.


Details | Ballad | |

Without You (Song)

Daylight fade,
Burning through my eyes,
She walked out of my life
Again, I'm feeling low,
One more time girl here we go,
Now I'm falling, a final time,
Wish the sunlight didn't shine

It's getting critical
But girl I just can't help it,
I'm feeling miserable
Without you I'm so helpless,
I can't even sleep
Don't want to be, without you,
It's getting hard to breathe,
There is no me, without you,

And baby I try and try
to let you go,
The more I fight,
The more I know,
There's nothing in this life,
I want to do,
Without you,

Passing days,
I try to ease my mind,
I want make it this time,
because, she's really gone,
Lying here I'm all alone,
with nothing, to comfort me,
I'm hanging on to memories,

It's getting critical
But girl I just can't help it,
I'm feeling miserable
Without you I'm so helpless,
I can't even sleep
Don't want to be, without you,
It's getting hard to breathe,
There is no me, without you,


And baby I try and try
to let you go,
The more I fight,
The more I know,
There's nothing in this life,
I want to do,
Without you,

It's getting critical,
Girl I just can't help it,

There's nothing
in this life,
I want to do,
Without you


Details | Ballad | |

i am woman

I am a woman 
a player 
a saivior 
a friend 
I am a mom
a warrior to the bitter end 
I am a lover
that bends all my needs
i am a singer 
that needs to breath
i am a lion 
that cant be tamed
i have  many names 
but I 
am a woman


Details | Ballad | |

Life As We Know It

Sometimes we wonder why we are even here on this earth.  With all the heartache, pain, and strife.  We ask ourselves why we have to go through these things.  We often ask what exactly we did to deserve for these things to happen.  There is no easy explanation.  Life, Love and Understanding is complicated. You can wait your whole life for that one chance for things to go your way, for things to fall into place.  Yet, when you think they have it can often just be a facade...a trick if you will.  We are left to pick up the pieces of what we once called our life.  Then you are left asking yourself...WAS IT ALL REALLY WORTH IT????  Our answer may be yes and it may be no.  It's hard to tell where the "chips may fall".  All the tears we shed, that fall down like rain in a storm.  When we love, most of us love with all of our heart, OUR SOUL, OUR WHOLE BEING.


Details | Ballad | |

To Love Not

To Love Not

Hateful thoughts fulfilled
Breathing with the sea
Watching lovers loving
Wishing it was me
What has become
This person
So proud So kind
Loving to love
Doing things right
Rising above
Now just hateful thoughts fulfilled
Breathing with the sea
It's these
Stalking red shadows
Piercing black holes
Feeling this war taking my soul
Wanting to die 
But willing to live
Provoking my enemy
To laugh is to give
Wanting this wave
Wanting it over
Give me "The End"
Death be my lover
The more powerful this wave
The more it intimidates my drive
Like fire burning fire
"Fire" out loud I cry
I will always be alive
So fierce Such force
All cracked up 
Below the pendulum
Of my splintered spine
Now just hateful thoughts fulfilled
Breathing with the sea
These stalking red shadows
And pierce these black holes
Hatred for lovers
And hate builds my soul
I just want to die
I don't want to live
Prevoking my enemy
To laugh is to give
Death come besiege me
Please set my soul free
It's death now inside me
Soon gone I will be
So stare and stare
And stare at them all
It's me that I hate
So it's me that must 
Fall..

  by Christian Alexander


Details | Ballad | |

Ink

The ink of life
'tis flowing down on me
It is giving me the wisdom
To live,love and breathe
The ink of life
It is creating inside of me
The sustenance to exists


Details | Ballad | |

Darkness


Darkness falls across the land
As terror seizes the great old clan-
Monsters awake under the night
And doom falls with evil might.

Percieve the screams!
Behold the evolution!
Humans taking evil shapes
Beneath the pale moon. 


Details | Ballad | |

~COAT OF ARMS~

COAT OF ARMS


Last night I couldn't sleep,for thinking only you...
As I wrapped in warm embrace,your spirit tinted blue
To oust away thine pangs,in hopes to see thee smile...
I'll yoke ye 'pon my shoulders,to carry through this mile

To trade your tears of sorrow,and see them shed in joy...
I'd jest for thine amusement,and be your favorite toy
For thine malady been expelled,I'd invoke it banished 'way...
Taking it 'pon mine self,so you've strength to seize th' day

Though I'm not an king,nor prince 'pon ivory steed...
Th' possessions I've procured here,are thine if felt th' need
I'll sweep thee off thy feet,if not familiar with th' waltz...
To breathe ye 'cross th' ballroom,as an feather floating 'loft

Mark mine words I state here,and hold me to their true...
I'll prove I 'steem thee precious,as unfeigned I surely do
Just promise me one thing,that next time when your down...
You'll wear these words as armor,'til I mend thy broken crown

~AZAZA~'09


Details | Ballad | |

Who Will Water My Plants

Who Will Water My Plants


I swore by the rare LEO moon -
well lighted above.
That I would never falter 
in our marriage of love.
 
I swore by all that's good and right, that
I would be the perfect wife.
 
I told myself and a million stars;
It would be best to cover up the scars.
 
If I were to only tow the line
I could keep the matter 
under my mind.
So sure that your temper 
would settle down.
 
When our children be grown and gone
and finally living on their own.
 
The inner-voice you have inside
I hoped to your GOD 
conscience, it would chide.
Awaking yet your virtuous side.
 
I should had left when 
the children had gone,
After that you 
barely came home.
 
ALONE with my wounds, 
computer,and plants.
You allowed me no friends,
never filed a complaint
no records were kept.
Under the carpet 
my abuse had been swept.
 
One night he came, 
could not find 
his good shoes
which he kept 
under our bed.
He then,threw a glass,
and it just missed my head.
 
The fury in his eyes, 
said that I was to die.
When the smoke cleared, 
it was he that lay dead.
 
Being alone, I had secured protection
"Who will water my plants if I die" 
"I thought "
"I fired a shot in his direction.
 
I could not reply
When the officer 
asked me "WHY"- 
I could not explain 
the tears and the pain
"Who will water my plants" 
was my only cry.
"Who will water my plants " 
I did sigh..
 
Explanation,of no use-
from years of 
silencing abuse.
Why I stayed 
I never knew.!
 
Love had ended,ended too soon.
I had promised that Leo moon.
 
As I had no rant-
All I could say 
as they led me away...
 
Was... "Who will water my plants " ?
 


Details | Ballad | |

Deirdre

 
Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? I can sence her embrace that feels like Tragedy A heart to have, slipped beneath the waves The dark pulse now beckons us closer How many days will this passion bleed away? We will be the ones left to blame Beware we’ve become their prey They say you’re addicted to your pain A lifeless cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper too close to the edge A call from the dark Brings out a saving spark An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? “My Decadence was just for you Though you’d never care what I’ve been through Enter the world were empathy is clandestine A world created by you, just for me What’s Lying in my heart is why You want to through the stone” I call your name towards nightfall’s reign But they take you so far away A dark angel so divine Cursed by Eden’s heart I will avenge every tear An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone?


Details | Ballad | |

You Will Be The One

It’ll be alright 
He heard her say
As he drowns in doubt
A world away
Can’t you hear me love
Don’t you know I care
I will find you love 
Find you anywhere
 
When your race is run
And your body’s cold
You will be the one
That I long to hold
I will lay me down
On this open road
When you’re burdened dear
I will share your load
 
So return to me 
Let me be your light
Let me guide you dear
Through your starless night
Let me wash your feet
In my bowl of tears
Let my love curtail
All your earthly fears
 
You will be the one
It’ll be alright
I will keep you safe
Keep you warm at night
In your darkest hour
I will give my time
We will face the world
With your hand in mine
…When the day is done
… You will be the one


Details | Ballad | |

my sleepless nights

everything I strived for
I lost 
everything I loved 
I lost
cause she could only take so much
I give up on givin a f**k
because im lost
lord please take my life
its nobodies loss
I used to think she was right
until I learned 
everyday we'll fight
so now I move on
to a journey to find ms right
but before then
I don't wanna count
my sleepless nights


Details | Ballad | |

- Deleted -

Opening my eyes
to the darkness in my room.
I try not to cry
and look away to soon.

I didn't know what woke me up
from my horrible dream.
But what did I expect
when I wake up at three?

This is not it.

Walking around the mess
afraid to think why.
Looking at the steps,
that's when I start to cry.

The steps, same as my room
are a dark shade of red.
Everything's covered
in death.

Startled,
I truly wake up.

I cry, just like in my dream
for I know this story all to well.
This was a night ten years ago
when I was to afraid to let go.

That night while I was sleeping,
my mom and dad had died.
What woke me up,
a gunshot.

I was only four,
which is why I'm still alive.
One year older,
and I would have died.

I have that dream a lot,
different parts each time.
They said I was to young,
to remember that one night.

Then why do I still remember it?

After I saw my mom and dad
lying still on the stairs.
The police and ambulance broke in,
and carried them away.

We had a small funeral
a few blocks from that house.
I go there once a week,
to cry over their graves.

I was really close to my mom,
she was like my best friend.
She always will be,
until the very end.

This is also where I 
buried my friend, Shaun.
I'll see them all when I go 
to visit the small pond.

- This is a true story. I would've told you what I found when I went downstairs, but it is something I couldn't have imagined. I never will tell anyone everything I found, until it's not so bad to think about it... Have a good day! Lee< -


Details | Ballad | |

Listen To My Heart

Baby, My love, please listen to my heart,
You keep doing things to me without thinking,
And it tares my heart apart,
Which always brings me to my knees,
But sometimes it's like you don't care,
What you keep doing to my life,
Even though everyone else knows,
What you are doing cause they can see.

So, if you ever wonder why,
Things never work out with,
Anyone else before,
You always need to see,
The person you have become,
Cause you're not the person I once knew,
Or fell deeply in love with,
And after all this time,
I feel you are not the person you can be.

Search your heart and your life,
And see what it is you really want,
And what it will really take,
For you to get it in your life and keep it,
And if you don't work hard enough,
It will leave you empty by your own mistakes.

It takes a lot of hard work,
Between two people,
To make things work out,
And if either of the two gives up,
Before their time,
Things will crumble to the ground,
Which will hurt more than just one person,
Cause sometimes there are other's involved,
Which means hurting the little one's is never kind.


Details | Ballad | |

Better Luck Next Time

My heart...can you find it?
I can't feel it in my chest
Ever since the emotional hit
Leaving me months of unrest

You'll be fine, better luck next time

Every woman looks like the same
Decent hair, poor skin and a sight of breast
Nothing but another bland dame
Why can't I simply just rest?

You'll be fine, better luck next time

Lying alone in bed waiting
my supportive roommates in love surround me
I can't bear the noise as I'm debating
What is next in life for me?

You'll be fine, better luck next time

....oh shut up


Details | Ballad | |

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nothing gold can stay.
Sometimes u find it slips away,
Something close that u can touch,
But in the end it was to much,
Like a flood flowing through a city,
Life is hard when u live in pity,
Things may be good but turn bad,
Sometimes it makes u really sad,
Days and nights may go,
Just have to live life nice and slow,
Maybe somethings may not be right,
Its never good to pick a fight,
Sometimes u find it slips away,
Nothing gold can stay.


Details | Ballad | |

When Thru The Mirror You Look

When thru the mirror you look,
It is but an image you behold.

That frame of putrefying flesh,
Whose frail and lusty minds, 
Have yielded to that lust from below.

When thru the mirror you look,
It is but an image you behold,
In which resides that diabolic soul
The Lamb gave each of us to control.


Details | Ballad | |

Rock Steady

My eyes linger instantly when you enter my world
They light up bright, like a new lightbulb has been replaced
I blink my heavy eyelashes, and you slowly dissolve into my uncertainty
Your look tortures every fiber of my body
I stay put, hoping to obtain a partial smile
I feel a painful stab from your quick stare, your blade is dull cutting my feelings, making me fragile
I feel the blood of my passion, dripping down my spine
I have so much to tell you, I can count the ways
Yet nothing is said on my behalf
My tongue is heavy and swollen, scalded from his thing called love
I tremble at your majestic presence, and you remain so cool and calm, chilly cold as ice
No aftershock is felt, no a single vibration, or comfort 
You are dry as earth soil can be
The ground doesn't break, not even a crack
My hands remain blistered, and yet no response 
I look in the little mirror, the one hanging on the wall
My hair is perfect, my lips red, my body small
You don't notice my effort, I spray a nice scent
Your nose is up in the air,but you don't look again
I see you walk quickly, you seem to want to get away...you hide in your room
I only hear your sour voice the rest the day
Nothing i have done, nothing I said has moved you toward my way
You seem cemented down steady to your world
I feel your indifference, I want to shrink down and just fall
How do I replace you, you seem so wonderful
I Want to feel this way no more
How to tell my heart to stop beating for you?
I feel a rush of fear, how did it ever get like this
I have concluded this is a thing that needs to be put to rest, it must end
I will look at you no more, your rejection is to much for me to bear. 


    
   


Details | Ballad | |

Daylight Past

I hear the sound of pouring rain,
And wonder if he hears the same,
I’m living in daylight past,
How could I forget to ask?
Did you really mean what you said?
How could you hurt the hand that fed?
You've forgotten how much I've cared,
There is no one else that has even dared,
Why did I push you so damn hard?
You were the one with the card,
How could this happen so fast?
I’m living in daylight past,
I wonder if he feels the same,
My heart is pouring rain.


Details | Ballad | |

In Your Eyes

 I looked into your eyes . Saw your pain .
It was no surprise . I knew what you’d been through…

I saw you cut, Blood on the floor .
Life passing you by, Your now a shell of you.

He took it away . Bit at a time . Even came back for more…
That man of no use, Who stole your youth .

How did it happen, When did it begin .
Lost in a world, Of times and dates…
Where, when and why me you asked ?

Nobody knew, Not even you, Too young to remember.
What he took , Was it real . The monsters hurt .
You try so hard, Too young to understand.

They sent you away, They never knew…
You begged to stay, They didn’t listen.
Nobody believed, What you tried to say .

To be hurt by so many, Didn’t make sense .
Your youth was gone, He stole it from you .
You done nothing wrong .

He took your youth . Don’t let him win.
 He took away your child hood . Left you in fear…

Don’t give him your adulthood too.
Open your eyes and see 


Details | Ballad | |

Toxic Logic

take my soul and crush it... like you do... every day... You've never looked so beautiful as your figure walks away the sad screech of my broken heart as it ceases to play you took me along for the ride of a lifetime, only to throw me away, every single day, and it is a crime, without reason or rhyme, to push me along with your toxic logic,  abandoning me again with an afflicted soul,  and my heart doesn't know that it is your toxic logic that twists me up inside brought on by your reign, and I can't recall my name Once again in my little hell, all by myself, my very essence betrayed, is there any more to tell? Lie after lie has fooled me, but now I'm done But I still love you, so my pain is far from done. You think that I'm inferior to children, that you can't talk to me, though I've been here since day one, why can't you see? that my existence is for you, and no one else,  and the sickest bit of it puts me in a rage... and i try to turn the page...  But I'm trapped in your toxic logic,  abandoning me again with an afflicted soul,  and my heart doesn't know that it is your toxic logic that's killing me inside brought on by your reign, overwhelmed by pain I see the world in black and white, no color left for me, I gaze across the room, and what do I see? I see yet another soul about to be ensnared, by this predator, but I simply don't care. I lost a part of me, and it used to let me love, But it has been snatched from me by this uncaring troll, and here I am, an empty vessel of defeat. I simply don't know, I truly have been beat. But as I retreat... from anger flows heat... Seared by your toxic logic, abandoning me again with an afflicted soul, and my heart doesn't know that it is your toxic logic that branded me inside brought on by your reign... damaged by pain... The last tether to you broke, I'm free at last. an empty part inside remains, holding me fast. I sink to my knees as the vacuum in my soul starts to shrink, loving you brought me to insanity's brink. I slowly raise my head... and gaze ahead... No longer captive to your toxic logic, that abandoned me with an empty soul, and my heart now knows that it was your toxic logic that tortured me inside under your maniacal reign... which gave me nothing but pain…


Details | Ballad | |

Siren's Song

She’s alone under beach lights, she’s screaming at air
wishing someone would notice, could anyone hear,
feel the anguish, the loss, losing battle of one?
She’s at war with the world and she’s comming undone.
‘It’s all wrong,’ left her lips, ‘it’s alright,’ said the tides,
‘sometimes we all need a safe place to hide,
to wait inside shadows, return with new light
cause we change and we change till the patterns are right.’
‘But this pounding resounding inside of my head,
I fear is the only thing tangible left.
I can hear it and feel it consuming my head,
eats me up from the inside, lays nothing to rest.’
But the water just turned and it crashed upon rocks,
became angry, determined, climbed onto the dock,
said, ‘Listen to me, I am old and I am wise,
what reason have I to fill you with lies?
I’m a part of your body, a piece of your world,
have I not kept you living since you were a girl?’
But her feet kept on forward at a steady pace
“I’m sick and I'm tired, I'm leaving this place.
I can wait no longer for the turning of time.
I'm the only one left and I’ve been left behind.”
‘But they’re here! Someone’s coming! It won’t be long yet.”
but her mind was as certain as certain could get
and the rushing of water had drown out the sound
as the pounding inside became heavy and loud
and the water, though angry, then grew very still
whispered ‘There is nothing if nothing is fueling a will.
I cannot instill a desire to live, eventual peace is all I could give.’
So she sank and she sang all the air from her lungs,
she breathed in the waves awaited silence to come.
“As I have in you, you may now flow through me,”
and the tides changed again as they dragged her to sea.


Details | Ballad | |

HE WAS MY FIRST

HE WAS MY FIRST

back in my senior year, when I first fell in love..
we were far from each other, by phone talks and messages... 
nine long months passed of pure sharing, couldn't believe... 
I fell for a guy, I had never seen personally.. 
we exchanged letters.. 
we talked two, three until wee hours on phone.. 
he let's me fall asleep without hanging the phone... 
after about a year we met, can't deny I still remember how it was.. 
I blushed on seeing him.. 
we held hands and talked refreshing the months we never saw one another.. 
We continued for about two years... 
however, we fell out, we broke up..
as he turned to another girl... 
he broke my heart as I set him free.. 
I wonder how much more will my heart break.. 
I don't even know if my heart still knows what love is... 
deep down, I still believe... 
but part of me is not trusting anymore.. 
part of me is lost... 
who will find me and be brave to take me out? 
from that lost... 
who will be? 
-------------------------------- 


Details | Ballad | |

Queen of The Vultures

One step into her aflamed path
With even an intention so good
Anyone could, yet none should
She knits your lips with her name
So you won't remember 
the one who's heart you hold
Your lovers' bane

Her Eden's Revenge is all she contains
The destruction of your soul is all that remains
The Queen of Vultures and Wargs
She serves Asmodeus and nothingmore
Sitra Achra you will surely find
Misstress of Mayhem
The lights grow dim 
You've found the blood of your love

"Just dream if it was only you and me
Far into the left side far from The Hand of God
Run with me into the deeps of Sitra Achra"


Details | Ballad | |

An Escape From You

Can I stop the sobs
Am I strong enough
To escape their evil
To deny what’s real

I ask myself why God would
Stick me in this jail, my own hell
So if I get help I might not feel
My own manic episodes, this is real

Am I bleeding
Am I seeing the truth
Or is it just a way
To deny my love for you

They say 
Just pop a pill
To numb 
All that can’t heal

Can I stop the sobs
Am I strong enough
To escape their evil
To deny what’s real

Is it delaying the problem
Is it sticking a bandage
On a broken arm
Am I covering the truth
Is it an escape from you

I have no idea
If it’s the right thing to do
But all I know is
I must forget you

So I’ll take this bitter pill
And I’ll conceal my inner hell 
Cause it’s all I can do
To stop loving  you


Details | Ballad | |

A Reason

i walk down these halls
pass people who say rude remarks
behind my back they just laugh
i look down counting 
the tiles on the floor 
the way they snicker
they must think its all just a game
if they knew what i go home to
maybe they'd be nicer
if they knew 
i need a reason to live
a reason to cry
a reason to feel 
what ive been keeping inside 
a reason to smile when you walk by
please save me from this torture called life
day after day goes by 
the cuts on my arm 
get deeper with time 
the kids look at the bruises on my arms
i just duck and hide
save me now before i find a reason to kill myself
im drowning in my own made waterfall
someone please help


Details | Ballad | |

Discovery

Mr Wise Man, show me the way
I can't keep walking into walls all day

Quitting jobs wasn't easy but the reasons we're wrong
I felt like I was feeding King Kong
Left my life to help those that need it
Got mistreated, left, all to repeat it

The lessons are eternal they won't ever change,
That's your gift to me so that I won't be deranged.
So now that I have gotten better please give me my strength
My life is something that is losing it's length.

Mr Wise Man, show me the way
I can't keep walking into walls all day

Tolerance has always been my strongest feature,
Made me forget about every evil creature.
Test my limits all you want, I know it's vital
That is all a case of survival.

I don't know why I just keep trying
In the end I know I'll be dying.
My faith has been put to test
A test that will put me to rest

All the worlds I've been to
All the places I've gone through
Every single man woman and child
Every single one would make another mild

Stronger than the rest
This should make me the best
Or maybe it's best I don't know
Maybe it's best I just go

So Mr Wise Man, don't show me the way
I can't keep walking into walls all day

I'll walk my own path


Details | Ballad | |

Last Days in Maine

I am powerless in mind and within my body,
This alcohol has got me down and I am paralyzed,
The world in which I call home cannot be analyzed,
All through this drink, with this I have declared my hobby.

My Friends do not respect me to which I cannot blame,
I am depressed beyond recognition and with it I feel shame,
Years without and years repressed and years I call lame,
Not one happy relationship, not with family or dame.

Salvation is coming and I keep telling myself bleakly,
Each day my sanity goes through hoops only to survive meekly,
The end has only that alcohol to calm my stress,
This alcohol feels as if I am saved from the rest.

I'm almost there and almost free from this asylum,
My friends around seem to care not even some,
I'm losing the fight even when both sides are done,
Three days until I'm home again...any longer and my life be gone.

(I survived and am now much healthier)


Details | Ballad | |

Haven

HAVEN
By Tom Brown

Issues...

Never once the good coming into the bad but the bad slowly becoming good
Evolving from one into the other like a seesaw of drama and reality
Varying only by what it is now
Every time hitting just as hard
Ripping into my soul only to heal itself over the hard times

Questions from before become questionable
Usually leading to more confusion
Initially meant to ease the mind but becomes
The never ending cycle of life

In this time my will is tested

Judgment swings it's hammer in due time
Used solely to set me free from one hell and
Soaring into what could be another
Time consuming hole in which I may not return from...but

Faith is
Only giving me the drive to continue
Life is a test inside another
Looking from the outside inward
Only to test me further and
Warranting me my chance at something better in the future

Maybe my life has more meaning than I thought
Yet I still find myself tested

Hopefully I can still go on
Eventually the tests will end
And my efforts to survive this will be noticed
Rewarding me my freedom
Then maybe I can find what I've always been searching for...


Details | Ballad | |

Beneath this shadow

Who am I today
Who will I be tomorrow
The sparkle of a star
The darkness of a shadow

Will I see the sun
Shining every day
No enemies, no fear
Standing in my way

No tears on my face
Regrets are left behind
Every time I say a prayer
It's for my peace of mind

What's behind this shadow
Have you seen this ghost
You will be forever
The one I loved the most


Details | Ballad | |

Him, He Cant Forgive

Struggles begin, The pain is deep from within. He's scarred with a mark, His days are so dark. His life has become the dark days, In his troubled bed is where he lays. There is no light, His days are only night. How could he be lost in the memories he relives, How can he blame you when its him, he cant forgive. 

He made his bed and he's stuck, All his life he never had luck. Time slowly passes him by, He has no wings to spread and fly. With each day he thinks he grows stronger, But the distance between him and his inner self has grown longer. He is so far from everything, Its not much longer that his toll from the bell will soon ring. How could he be lost in the memories he relives, How can he blame you when its him, he cant forgive.


Details | Ballad | |

Circus Insanity

 


    All my life's a circus
    where clowns still dance on my brain
    where elephants fly and tigers get high
     by now your surely insane.

    The retarded goat sippin a rootbeer float
    started belting out a familiar tune
    It had to do with his girlfriend Sue
     and a rather horny baboon.

    A snail eating ice cream started to sneeze 
    but instead blew his brains
    all the performers began to clap
     as you slowly go insane .

    You're up on the tightrope and begin to fall
      as the ringmaster calls your name
     You hit the ground and look around
      and wake up on a plane.

     You land in the tent where the 
      circus freaks dwell
     but beware of what they might steal
      your hanging around upside down
      and fall mentally ill.

     Your friends are all gone
     and your left all alone
     for life has been a game
     You turn on the tube and watch something crude
     as you slowly go insane!


Details | Ballad | |

I Feel



" I Feel " 

At times I feel like no one's around 
me sometimes I feel upset and always angry.
Though times I feel like I'm all alone
sitting in a dark place where spirits
and evil roam. I feel like people take
me for granted I feel like people at
times they don't understand me.
Sometimes I hate cos my love is a memory
at times I feel so fake pretending to
be happy.

I feel hate I feel pain I feel things
that I can't explain.
I feel hurt I'm not feeling the same
I'm always thinking and my mind is strain
in my brain It's ashame.

I feel tears as they fall down my face 
so many things taking from me that 
can't be replaced. I feel abused and I 
feel used I feel thrown away I feel 
bruised.

Cos I feel hurt and pain I feel damaged
and stained I feel helpless It's a shame
my hearts been shattered I feel pain.

I feel pain I feel pain I feel pain
I feel pain. I'm so in pain and
it feels like no one gives a damn
cos I feel pain.



Details | Ballad | |

A Sad Attempt

Wander and meet in wicked wind
They cut their teeth on broken nails
Walk across golden pond in sin
Trail of tears on glacial lake pales
In comparison to his frozen heart 

The heart of the damned chained forever
The heart of the damned pained forever

Pains me to think of them outstretched
Those arms of love, those arms
Brought me to believe far fetched
Dreams of love did some harm
Bleak shores broke on the edge

The heart of the damned chained forever
The heart of the damned stained forever

Surely you have heard his tale traveler
In your heart you knew it was true
Blue crystals of iced saline unravel
In a pool all that was left of Hue
His grave beside hers long overdue

The heart of the damned chained forever
The heart of the damned pained forever
The heart of the damned

___________________________


*This is a work in progress and is not the final version of this poem, I SUCK..... AGAIN! 


Details | Ballad | |

Beautiful Fate

How do you know when you've done too much
One Favor for one person
Being kind to the touch

no matter what...

One favor for a life that feels like a dream
makes you feel like an angel

But without wings...

Hard work follows light
Smiles into tears
Cabin Fever headaches
Childhood fears

How can it be that everything you once wanted dear
turned everything to fear
wars turning dreams to horrible careers
all you loved forever becoming a truck's deer

It's all because one favor
which was meant to savor
One life and another
one man and two other

Made all that is heaven
into something that hurts like hell


Details | Ballad | |

Yesteryear

Not a day goes by
Where I wonder: What did I do wrong?
To make her leave me
I thought she and I were in love

But I guess I was mistaken
Oh it does not feel like it was yesteryear
When she and I were so happy
I never saw it coming

But she left me on the anniversary
Of both of our first kiss
I guess she needed her space,
I did something wrong, or who knows?

All I know for sure is
She was everything I could have ever wanted
And now it is all nothing
I guess I will never know

The reason why she left
But I guess I will find somebody new
Until that time comes along
I will keep pondering yesteryear


Details | Ballad | |

There is some hate behind every pupil

There is some hate behind every pupil-
Hidden by the warm smiles in your eyes.
You shake my Hand with all bliss
And embrace me like a mother-
But there is some evil buried in your thoughts.

The soft sweaty hands
Will soon transform to iron
the very smile to Murder-desire-
Then will I understand
That there was but murder
Cooking in your very veins...


Details | Ballad | |

DEBT AND LIFE

Man wants life, too easy, as sweet as honey
But for that needs money.

Money he may though have
But not sufficient for him to behave.

Not sufficient for his needs and deeds
Like uncountable rosary beads.

For his satisfaction of materialistic lust
He requires money to sweep away his hungry dust.

But wherefrom will he get more money
Which for him, it is as sweet as honey.

Atlast, he lays his hands for debt, debt for a few rupees
And from that day, a charge on his character levies.

Today, tomorrow came and went
With the end of each day, money came and got spent.

Again, he requires more money to sweep his dirty dust
Again some generous donors fulfilled his lewd lust.

Days came and went, with each sunrise and sunset
But his mind never sensed shame and regret.

Again he needs money to sweep away his dirty dust,
But this time no generous donors did him just,
Instead their generous face, radiated bright with rage and disgust.

Now he was all alone
Trusted by none and havoc prone.

He now realized his folly
To waste money in leisure and be jolly.

Company owners found him useless
Wasting time and energy in task meaningless.

They asked him to give his resignation letter or else get fired
He remembered the bright sunny day when he was hired.

Everywhere he was surrounded by dense cloud of darkness
No light, no hope only sadness.

Alas, he had no other option but to repent
Sit alone in dark and lament.

He went to a nearby river bank
Saw his reflection in rippling water and his heart sank.

Unable to bear the pain, the grief, the depression which pinched in him in
He jumped into the mighty river to wash away his sin.


Details | Ballad | |

hurt




" Hurt "
By Rodney Riggins


Dying ,Crying , Lying , Praying ,
Feelings , Emotions , and Smiling.

You love so hard to it hurts.
Masks are put on for display. 
Not being yourself shows your not 
being honest with yourself.

On the outside it shows like a sore 
big toe that's not hard to figure out
and is visible. What's keep in the
dark will eventually shine.

Hurt is a drug the devil always
show love. Fake love to make you 
hurt and hate. Getting even is a 
pleasure while hurting someone
to get even is even worse.

Everyone has hurt some even worse
than others. Feelings are around for
people to use for their pleasures
to get their way for desires and
attention. 

Some are spoiled and feel that they
can't be hurt. Those deserve to be
hurt because lives are destroyed
by these events.

Some aren't stronger than others
but who is you to judge another 
about someone else's expereinces
and what they have been through.

Hurt It's a disease


Details | Ballad | |

Euphorianah'

The sapphire sun of what-were dreams
Setting in the forsaken east
My winters' desperation clung to your silent voice
Let death be a choice
Dusk revealed your truest nature
Before her argentine eyes
'Tis the darkest of tragedies, romances' maladies
Let your forgiveness be la Vie In this frozen air
The wings of my deepest despairs

Friend or foe?
The dagger close to my heart--
If your forgiveness is nigh
Let me know--or is this all a lie

Lilyheart Swain
Please don't give into your pain
You hold my soul on Eden's Edge

Your innocent flesh
Cradled in my broken arms
Forever you will be mine, forever you will stay
The snow caressing us as we tangle in deathly embrace
This darkness fades into amber innocence 
Hatred no longer exists
Forgive me
Come back my only
Euphorianah

The winterwind tears carress me
With whispers, (of) Someone I Once knew
Calming the fears inside
But the pain remains
--hallcunary rains 

Dreams fading with the Enya in your eyes
With the darkness of your hands
The silverfears of the pale moon
Shine on you

Lilyheart swain 
Please don't give into your pain
You hold my soul on Eden's Edge

Your innocent flesh
Cradled in my broken arms
Forever you will be mine, forever you will stay
The snow caressing us as we tangle in deathly embrace
This darkness fades into amber innocence 
Hatred no longer exists
Forgive me
Come back my only
Euphorianah

Your eyes search for mine
Oh how they shine, blue 
Sacrdice has a price
Heaven is calling us tonight

Cursed In shadowed illusions
Shall we dance?
Would there be a chance
Euphorinah 
Forgive me now
I will rip out every nail 
Of your coffin
I don't care if it's God it will offend

Lilyheart Swain
Please don't give into your pain
You hold my soul on Eden's Edge

Your innocent flesh
Cradled in my broken arms
Forever you will be mine, forever you will stay
The snow caressing us as we tangle in deathly embrace
This darkness fades into amber innocence 
Hatred no longer exists
Forgive me
Come back my only
Euphorianah


Details | Ballad | |

My Reckless Ways

I'm drowning in the tears from the sorrows of my reckless ways, now its just facing the days. If only i could've realized sooner what i have done, now the bricks are crumbling by the ton. Open my eyes and now i see, all i want from you is to forgive me. So you bring that poor dog in from the rain, though he just wants right back out again. I always find myself making the same mistake, i change and things break. Now its tough to see the light, sometimes i wish it was bright. So it could be easier to face the day, nothing gold can stay. Like mud on the pavement, it eventually washes away.....


Details | Ballad | |

It Hurts

It hurts to know that you're gone

It hurts to think I didn't get to talk to you before you were taken
my heart is crushing, my mind is going crazy
their both trying to answer the question"what can i do?"

it hurts to know that I'll only be seeing you in my dreams now
my heart an my mind cry out " what can I do?!"

as they cry out, tears flow out
Its just hurts to know that you're gone

Dedicated to Kayla Wells 1991-1008


Details | Ballad | |

Woods, great place to hide from bullies

Beneath the soil lay our roots
Multi-legged insects walking on moss
Working hard to get the fruits
Like lost souls running to the cross
Or hungry new army recruits
With no care of profit or loss

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain

We feast together in the swamp
The spiders just want to push us around
They see us and want to stomp
We hide under the ground
I’m here, no fear of the chomp
It’s our other way around

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain

One day I hope it will change
The flower tell us one day
Not to far gone to rearrange
Apex of the sun’s way
Move to the balkan mountain range
Rather than be part of the buffet

We are the bugs
Commission on narcotic drugs
Watch as we steal the rain
Plants are ruining our brain


Details | Ballad | |

Diedre II

Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode I cunnan sense her embrace that felans gelic Tragedy A Heart to hath, slipped beneoðan waw The dark pulse nou beckons us closer How many daegs will this passion bledan way We will beon the ans left to blame Bewarian we hath be-came their prey They say thou hast ben addicted to thy pain A life-leas cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper to close to the edge A ceallian fram the dark Bringan ut a saving sparke An exodus fram her pain Her life spent braeð in shame A Shadow ceallian brecans the silence Eom I the an to blame Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deirdre naefre said wrong Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode “My decadence wesan just for thee Though thou never hast cared of what I hath been through Enter the world hwaer empathy is clandestine A world created by thee, just for me Hwaet is lecgan in my heart Is why thou wants to through the stan” I call thy name towards nightfall’s reign But they take thou so feorr way A dark engel so devin Cursed by Eden’s Heart I will avenge every tear An exodus fram her pain Her life spent braeð in shame A Shadow ceallian brecans the silence Eom I the an to blame Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deirdre naefre said wrong Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode Don thoust not know Deidre’s eode


Details | Ballad | |

My Pain

Life is an array of twists and turns
Nightmares to conquer and dreams to burn

Why must I wait
for the opening of the gate
The world outside is a forest and dark
and the people are it's bark

The lies
Distrust
Denies
To dust
Cries for something more
and they drag you in because they must

What's the point?
You work to meet them
then work harder to defeat their memory
To undo their damage
and disconnect the joint

One man that knew no better
Didn't mean to make me any upsetter
When he said it was better this way
But I'd love to forget it any day

For years I've seen it
So many tears I've tasted for it
Betrayal never gets old
ask me sometime and the story will be told

Cheaters
Liars
Beaters
Criers
Defeaters

All the things I disgust
and leave the taste
that leaves me to a further distrust

Whores
Bores
Posers
Closers

So many I can name
So many I can blame
So many I can claim at one point
and deny me what I want

But if you don't know, you don't know me


Details | Ballad | |

Tsustaroth

There was a time in yesteryear
When I had lived alone,
I had come across a certain fear
Of things that dwell below

My mind kept leaping back inside
The dark holes of the unknown
Till one night I felt cruel eyes
Burning into my own

I hadn’t welcomed it I swear!
—please do not get me wrong
I couldn’t remain, I wouldn’t dare
Stay there for too long

I fled towards my bathroom,
As if that would scare it away!
I’d lose it, I assumed
As long as I didn’t stay

For a full hour I sat there
On the toilet seat
Sitting in the darkness where
I stared at my cold feet

Finally, standing, I opened up the door
I heard the screech of the hinge,
That creak and nothing more…
But still, it made me cringe 

Each night I felt the eyes upon me
Fixedly, more and more 
But one dark, cold night I suddenly saw
A figure at my bedroom door

My eyes couldn’t leave the sight
Of the insidious, insisting guest
My heart thumped drastically in fright
As you probably would have guessed

It stood there upon the blemished floor
Watching me in my bed
Its body leaned against my door
Tilting and jerking its head

I screamed and clutched onto my covers
Stabbing to stay my heart
Trying to reach the telephone for others
But it was just too far! 

I looked out of my window
Watching the rain patter against the sill
I was trying to distract my terrified woe
That haunted me against my will

I must have been losing my mind
But one night I felt braver and sane,
Trying to be courteous and kind,
Though scared I asked, “What is your name?”

The atmosphere grew darker within the room
I thought that I would die of fright 
“My name is Tsustaroth,” it said
“And I am kissing you goodnight” 

In horror I saw it moving towards me
My blankets flew away
Its fiendish look of reptile beast
Was zooming towards my face!

I moved to the corner of the room
And it turned its head towards me
I felt the burning of terror and doom 
Revel inside of me

Then I saw it disappear
Into the dusty floors
But thrashing footsteps I could still hear
Closer and closer…thumping on the floorboards

As soon as it had left the scene
I felt the earth beneath my skin
I felt so alive, so eerily keen
I felt the darkness lurking within

“And every night, yes every while,
I’ll visit you at your door,”
As he spoke I felt myself hysterically smile!
“ And we won’t be lonely anymore…”


Details | Ballad | |

So Many You's

Now you’re gone, She  had the strength to let go…
A smile . Behind the face . Yet emptiness “n” hurt too
Peace at last . Yet so lonely . She missed the real you .
He’s long gone , destroyed with the bottle.

It wasn’t all bad, This she knew . Lost in the bottle…
It was hard to accept, Lonely too…
All the different You’s ,It was so strange…
She knew it wasn’t you . It was beyond your control..

The scars from your own abuse . Alone
The bruises. The Beatings the emptiness too
Lost childhood, Identity gone (you went to war –
Came back a different you)

A lost love broke you too, Then you hid in a bottle.
And lost the true you, it hid your pain and sorrow,
Just lost to a bottle…

The person you became . Wasn’t you this she knew
The bottle first . Nothing else . How it hurt her, 
Just lost in a bottle, 


She watched you change, Knew it wasn’t you .
Didn’t mean She didn’t love you. Or didn’t care …
She just couldn’t see it through, She lost the true you…

She watched you . Destroy you . Lost in a bottle
And couldn’t watch . Or take no more.
Cause she loved and lost you to a bottle.


Details | Ballad | |

Josette, Drive the Faerie out of me

She's Lost--I'm the one left to blame Forsaken by my potent manipulating game I've killed the one, My starcrossed heart Desires ...But not By My hands I Try To Follow her ghost But the fog and mist are too strong My eyes are rendered useless "You're Never going to Find Josette" The netherworld Spirits sang I Won't lose Heart I Will Win this Fight For My Sacred Josette's Right to Life This is what happens when The Devil's Adovocate Falls for Jesus's Greatest Bride This is what happens When The life of the disease Loves the cure it desperately hates Drives you mad But Wasn't I already? Josette, I'm begging you To Drive the Faerie out of Me


Details | Ballad | |

Healer Of Pain

A man struggles to see the light, 
Which shined so bright.
Darkness impours him and he fight's to break free,
But there's no light and he can't see.
The darkness is strong he trembles with fear,
He makes a cry to God loud and clear.
Forgive me for I have done wrong,
The evil around me is just to strong.
I come to you,
To help me through.
He opens his eyes and suddenly can see,
The light he had lost but now found for God answered him and set him free.
He thinks to himself how could I have been so vain,
But he forgives himself for he was saved by the healer of pain.


Details | Ballad | |

The Fear

So scared of changes
Don't  want  idiots rearranging my life
I've been this way since I was a child
My head is confused my mind makes me feel mentally abused
They say they want to assess me but I'm no fake
Realising my only income and freedom is at stake
Bad thoughts and images run through my brain
Not knowing how things will turn out is driving me insane
My fears are justified I won't have anyone tell me that I've lied 
I don't want this medical examination being prodded and poked
Don't want some doctor laughing at me like I'm some kind of joke
I do not choose to be this way but you are just you they all say
I wished I could see into my future but I know that cannot be
Hoping and praying they will see I'm genuine
Being mentally ill is not a sin 
I'm screaming inside hoping the doctors will understand
Can't take any more of their stupid demands
Please don't make me bend don't make me stand
The fear is on the surface 
The fear is in my heart 
The fear is all around my mind
Please have compassion and be kind
Dreading what may come of me 
Forced back in to work when I am sick forced back in to society
Please see that this is me and that my fears do control me. 


Details | Ballad | |

If My Pen Had More Ink

If my pen had more ink
I wouldn’t think of you as much
I would write all my thoughts for my tears to touch
If my pen had more ink
I could write about your smiles
And watch the paper run on for miles
If my pen had more ink
I would write about your voice
Forcing me to listen, leaving me no choice
If my pen had more ink
I would send letters to heaven
Asking why he chose the age of seven
If my pen had more ink
I would ask who and why
Who likes to see a lonely father cry
If my pen had more ink
I could write away my sorrows
Then maybe, just maybe, I would want to see tomorrow.


Details | Ballad | |

September 11th

Today’s the day
When it all went down.
The pain and sorrow,
And the worlds big frown.
It shouldn’t have happened,
All those innocent people,
Who had to be there,
Now have God as their keeper.
It wasn’t their time to go.
I feel horrible for their families.
I just want to ask you,
 To pray for them please.
The terrorists that did this
Will get what they deserve.
They’ll get Satan’s kiss!
They must be heartless
To even think of this!
There are people to thank
Like the firemen and cops,
And a lot of people gave blood.
Even if it was just drops.
When the towers got hit,
The world thought it was an accident.
No one would’ve guessed
That it was really terrorists.
So don’t forget this day.
Its part of our painful history.
It’ll be in the books.
But why it happened,
Will always be a mystery.


Details | Ballad | |

A Grim Abscond

Walking on air. Thirsting for sorrowing despair is the only way I know how to keep you near. My spirit lingers for a moment, searching the softly dead silence for the words to say... forever the words are left unspoken. How can you speak when there is nothing but hungering darkness filling the eeiry quiet? My thoughts are left open in the night beauty filled with a gentle light. You see me; your gown is delicate, innocent and white. I look down at my own garments, clothed in black, I am a rainbow of darkness, mastered only by the forsaken raven... longing to thrive in the precious color of snow. A red rose drips with horrid blood, Why must I leave you now? Why must I go? You slowly reach for my hand, but you just don't understand, my heart is breaking. I don't want to bid thee farewell, but to live in such a dastardly sorrowful place would be like living somewhere else. My heart longs to be with you, and I know that in my dreams you will softly whisper "I love you" in my ear. Little do I know that one day soon it won't be in just a dream, because surely I will be with you here, So beautiful sweetheart of mine, do not dread, do not cry, For it is the words you have stolen from thy mouth "I love you", 'tis the only way I will forever depart. These words quietly unspoken still linger, silently in thy mouth evermore in thy heart... At thou grim abscond shall we forever part. Your frozen hand gingerly touches my cheek, wiping me free of all my tears. Surely, tenderly, I will soon be with thee here, until then, darling I love you. Let us forever dance in the dawn of the light, as my black garments miraculously transform, and turn into pure white. Sweetheart I am with thee here, in the night beauty filled with the glorious light. You have saved me from thy distress, thy sorrowing despair. Forever I will rest with thee, in thy heavens of everlasting light... close to you dear. "I love you" once again repeats its story as we forever slowly rejoice, dancing in victory. The two roses; black and white, silently stop crying, transforming in the light. They find refuge in each other, and live in the peace of hope, love, and looming, spectacular, innocent light. A grim abscond I once sang, as the roses drip in horrid blood, thus they prophecy destined them to be so much more, and now they stand against the beauty of the wind, forever bound together with thy treasured love.


Details | Ballad | |

Takin' Your Love Away

What do you mean you’re leaving?
	What aren’t you telling me?
		You had said that we could run away and make it out on our own; out in the wild.
			But now you’re packin’ up your things and givin’ me one last kiss good-bye.
				And I say that U can’t leave me.
					How am I supposed to live without you?
				He said I really don’t give a damn what you do.
			Keep the faith and never be afraid to follow your heart.
		I’ve told you time and time again that this love thing is too big for little girls.

										So I say. . .

I’m sorry I fell asleep in your arms and cried right in them,
You cared enough to dry them away,
But now,
That you turned away,
I still don’t know how you did it and 
You’re Takin’ Your Love Away

I picked him up at a bar.
	I didn’t have a care.									
    
  No.
		I was too drunk, so he took me home, in his truck.
	He stayed with me all night long,
Never once questioning. . .
					Never once leavin’ my side.
As I rolled over the next morning
		A note was in his place:
	Call me if you need me, I’ll be back tonight, baby.

										So I said. . .

I’m sorry I fell asleep in your arms and cried right in them,
You cared enough to dry them away,
But now,
You turned to me,
I still don’t know why you did and
I hope that
You’re not Takin’ Your Love Away


          So. . .
		Please don’t leave. . .




So he said. . .


I’m sorry I fell asleep in your arms and cried right in them,
I hope you care enough to accept this ring,
That’s all my heart.
I still know why I do this to you and
I don’t want you ever
Takin’ Your Love Away


I’m sorry I fell asleep in your arms and cried right in them,
You cared enough to dry them away,
But now,
That you turned away,
I still don’t know how you did it and 
You’re Takin’ Your Love Away



I’m sorry I fell asleep in your arms and cried right in them,
You cared enough to dry them away,	
But now,	
You turned to me,	
I still don’t know why you did and	
I hope that		
You’re not Takin’ Your Love Away	

I’m sorry I fell asleep in your arms and cried right in them,
I hope you care enough to accept this ring,
That’s all my heart.
I still know why I do this to you and
I don’t want you ever
Takin’ Your Love Away


If you love me enough. . .
			Then don’t
				Take Your Love Away


Details | Ballad | |

Disposed By Hate

Darkness sets in on a man. A weak, powerless man. A man trapped in his thoughts. Battling and trying to fight but falling into a constant lose. Trying to seek a light. But there's none in sight. Growing weaker and weaker each day. He's holding onto strings better left to fray. Sitting, thinking, breaking down with his head in his hands. Figuring all this out only to which he understands. Not knowing his fate. He's disposed by hate.

He's a mess, Filled with stress. Cant find a away out. To much to think about. Just a dark, weak minded soul. It's really taking its toll. He's been through so much. That he's effecting to the slightest touch. Its a long way to break free. To think there's a chance and one he must see. But he's not even close to reality. He's trapped in a place that he's always known. There's no way out and the door isnt shown. Struggling not knowing his fate. He's disposed by hate.


Details | Ballad | |

Rosaline

Moonlight shines down on my cold, pale face I am alone, her raven calling, I am disgrace Falling as the willows weep, I hold her in my arms as she struggles to breathe Rosaline, my one love divine. You are sacred You are mine Her voice rising above the water Beautiful Rosaline sang silently to me The whispers trailing off her fingers, as she faded into the darkness My beautiful angel has vanished again Goodbye my Beautiful Rosaline. Happened that Grim reckless day when the shadows began to play Beauty detonated in my trust No more, no more will there ever be a witch so grand, as to bring back my Beloved Rosaline Sorrow cuts it's way into my heart It is the locked key, the one you keep Her voice rising above the water Beautiful Rosaline sang silently to me The whispers trailing off her fingers, as she faded into the darkness My beautiful angel has vanished again Goodbye my Beautiful Rosaline So leaving this Tragic scene I vanished from Rosaline's sight Nevermore will there ever be a witch so grand, as to bring back my Beloved Rosaline Her voice rising above the water Beautiful Rosaline sang silently to me The whispers trailing off her fingers, as she faded into the darkness My beautiful angel has vanished again Goodbye my Beautiful Rosaline. Enchanting she sang to me, in the everlasting light of peace My beautiful siren walks again Goodnight my Beautiful Rosaline


Details | Ballad | |

dark dreams

a shadowed room...
my permanent cell,
the hatred by others intense.
blades fly through the air,
tearing through my flesh,
my attempts to scream futile,
my mind going blank,
I look up,
my finally thoughts happy,
"the pain is finally over,
my death is now to come,
the anger of others gone,
the scars from fights painless,
the shadows of my past pointless,
as i pass away tonight."
slowly my heart decreases its pumps
my vision goes to black,
my body suddenly heavy,
then when i think I may finally have peace,
I wake into a world of hate.
the final fight wasn't lost,
for it has only just begun.


Details | Ballad | |

Miss Mayhem

Nymphomania Is all she can grant you along with a well spent night This femme fatale isn't something A man can't handle A sex-fiend straight from the chamber of Satan A desire so strong It won't ever feel wrong A mistress of melancholy She took over my soul The amphetamine addiction Of her deadly embrace Her sweet poisonous grace Her heroin laced lips Oh how her venom drips All beware of a sensual destruction The comely fatal femme This sexual gem Stay away from miss mayhem Disaster is what she is A taste of her could make you leave All other vices and loves Would you ever think of the price For an eternity you'll be condemne dEven just for one night with miss mayhem This vamp of pain all life she will drain, this is addicting whore Is all you will adore Exciting and erotic Using all fetishes against your soul Your wife will surely lament From this dreadful strife A mistress of melancholy She took over my soul The amphetamine addiction Of her deadly embrace Her sweet poisonous grace Her heroin laced lips Oh how her venom drips All beware of a sensual destruction The comely fatal femme This sexual gem Stay away from miss mayhem A plague of pleasure The flead rats couldn't even measure Against the scourge of men A mistress of melancholy She took over my soul The amphetamine addiction Of her deadly embrace Her sweet poisonous grace Her heroin laced lips Oh how her venom drips All beware of a sensual destruction The comely fatal femme This sexual gem Stay away from miss mayhem


Details | Ballad | |

Savior

 I walked a broken road, Why couldnt I see, Why did I refuse to admit that You were my only Hope; My only Chance of survival? Instead, You were my last resort(option); My last call. I tried everything I knew, I thought I could make it without You, But I was beaten down, bruised, cut open, and torn apart, lost and alone; I needed You. All I had to do was cry out, but something held me back; My pride was so strong. Then I hear Your Voice, Reminding me how much I need Your Help; I needed to give it up, And fall into Your ever-loving Embrace, Because You are the only One who can save me, The One I cant live without, My loving Father.


Details | Ballad | |

Deirdre III

Don't you know Deirdre's Gone? 
Don't you know Deridre's Gone?

I stepped into room 8-16 only to feel tragedy 
The gatekeeper says your addicted to your pain
A lifeless cold barren soul put In the closet with the shades
Will he ever let you out?

How many days will this passion bleed away
We will be the ones to blame
Beware we've became their prey

An exodus from pain
Her life spent breathing in shame
Am I the one to blame 
Don't you know Deirdre's Gone? 
Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong
Don't you know Deirdre's Gone? 

"my decadence was just for you 
Though you have never cared what I've been through
Enter a world where empathy is clandestine
A world created by thee, just for me
The destruction in my mind 
Is why you want to throw the stone
Today I go past the gate''

I call your name towards nightfall's reign
But the guards take you so far away
A dark angel so divine
Cursed by the ones of Eden's Heart
I will avenge every tear

An exodus from her pain
Her life spent breathing in shame
Am I the one to blame 
Don't you know Deirdre's Gone? 
Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong
Don't you know Deirdre's Gone? 



Details | Ballad | |

Summer

Summer's late,
I am left here to die, 
Stuck in a phase, 
And time wouldn't fly. 
Asking me to change, 
What do I be?
More like you?
What's in it for me?
Do I be a two faced man,
Or a ten tongued woman,
I'd rather be,
Alone & Inhuman,
She's selling my soul,
She's getting her gold. 
She's got an endless greed,
More of me she needs. 
A soulless man,
I do what I can,
Kill me now, 
Like you kill my men,
Kill me in the middle of my dream,
So, I won't feel the pain. 
If you see me in a piece,
Shoot me again. 
Summer's near,
For her it's a fear,
She has to now bear me,
For I will be near,
In her home,
And on her bed,
While she's dreaming of others,
Inside her head. 
Asking me to change,
This summer breathes a new life,
Look at her face,
Doesn't look like my wife,
She's already found,
Another man,
I'm a soulless body,
I did what I can. 
Shoot me now,
While I'm alive,
Let me watch my blood,
Can't take anymore of this world. 
All the kids playing outside,
Oblivious of this ride,
This ride called life, 
Death is my wife. 
Summer's far,
I am closer to death hour,
Do I bury my grave,
Am I so brave?
Or do I find a rope,
My only hope, 
One thing agreed,
By all the wise,
Suicide,
The best advice. 
Let this summer,
Take away my life,
And breathe one in her,
My beautiful wife. 
I have nothing to live, 
I have no place to stay,
Where is the light,
I don't see the end of my day. 
I've got her by my side,
I'm promised her the best ride,
She's smiling,
So hard, I know she's pretending.
So, I take a gun,
Shoot her in the head. 
I promised her,
This one last ride,
A beautiful death,
To my beautiful bride,
Drifting away,
Into the Sunset, 
Love is an illusion,
Built in your head. 
Shut all the voices,
Shoot yourself instead. 
Summer's here,
And I am not there.
The price for her lie,
We've both died. 
She's getting her gold. 
She's got an endless greed,
More of me she needs. 
A soulless man,
I do what I can,
Kill me now, 
Like you kill my men,
Kill me in the middle of my dream,
So, I won't feel the pain. 
If you see me in a piece,
Shoot me again. 
Summer's near,
For her it's a fear,
She has to now bear me,
For I will be near,
In her home,
And on her bed,
While she's dreaming of others,
Inside her head. 
Asking me to change,
This summer breathes a new life,
Look at her face,
Doesn't look like my wife,
She's already found,
Another man,
I'm a soulless body,
I did what I can. 
Shoot me now,
While I'm alive,
Let me watch my blood,
Can't take anymore of this world. 
All the kids playing outside,
Oblivious of this ride,
This ride called life, 
Death is my wife. 
Summer's far,
I am closer to death hour,
Do I bury my grave,
Am I so brave?
Or do I find a rope,
My only hope, 
One thing agreed,
By all the wise,
Suicide,
The best advice. 
Let this summer,
Take away my life,
And breathe one in her,
My beautiful wife. 
I have nothing to live, 
I have no place to stay,
Where is the light,
I don't see the end of my day. 
I've got her by my side,
I'm promised her the best ride,
She's smiling,
So hard, I know she's pretending.
So, I take a gun,
Shoot her in the head. 
I promised her,
This one last ride,
A beautiful death,
To my beautiful bride,
Drifting away,
Into the Sunset, 
Love is an illusion,
Built in your head. 
Shut all the voices,
Shoot yourself instead. 
Summer's here,
And I am not there.
The price for her lie,
We've both died. 


Details | Ballad | |

We Hurt, We Cry

we hurt, we cry for the one taken from us  the pain that builds up stays there untill tears fall 
down our faces  as the tears fall, we start thinking if only we could have done something                                                             
when we think of her, the tears flow faster  then we look to our hearts, an know she's going to 
be watching over us                                         still we hurt, we cry for the one taken from us  
in the end the tears fall down faster


Dedicated to Kayla Wells 1991-2008


Details | Ballad | |

Sacred Lorelei

The night has befallen me Rescue me, unchain me Sacred Lorelei Bleeding a passion of royalty Forever I'll follow your Argentine cloak with the most deadly pacts beautiful Witch Sacred Lorelei Tell me did the ravens Hear my cry My misery's plea Sacred Lorelei Was this all just upon a dream Lucidity becoming reality of my Sacred Lorelei A fiat of darkly desire from a most beautiful witch unchaining the burden of my misery All for my Sacred Lorelei


Details | Ballad | |

Can't You

Can't you understand?
i don't wanna be broken
anymore.
i wanna feel whole
again, in control
again. my eyes have
seen the worse, i'm feelin
like i'm cursed.
can i be whole again?
in control again?

I'm bleeding out from
the cuts you gave.
they'll be the death of me
on your path of hate.
don't touch me now
i'm outta range
there's no way out
lost my escape.

can't you understand?
i'm lost again.
my body is failing and
my chest begins to
hurt
god can it get much
worse?
losing control again
never to be whole
again!

i'm bleeding out from
the cuts you gave.
they'll be the death of me
on your path of hate.
don't touch me now
i'm outta range
there's no way out
lost my escape.
don't touch me now....
i'm outta range!


Details | Ballad | |

Most High

Most High,
Reigning in the sky,
Thats how he sees the Sovereign Lord..
 
It begins with a man,
A young man,
Walked with God when he was young,
Didn't know wrong from right,
Left the Lord out of his sight,
Was a troubled kid in his school,
His school life was sent in a whirlpool,
Failed a yr and worked really hard,
He passed got dealt two good cards,
But God dealt him a hand that would change his life forever..

A terrible accident had happened,
Lucky to have survived,
Lying face down,
He cant feel from the neck down,
Taste of blood in his mouth,
He blacks out,
Wakes up being helped on a stretcher,
He was put into a helicopter,
He blacks out again,
Wakes up in his room,
Not knowing whether he can walk again,
He cries out to a nurse,
"Will i walk again?",
She says "Your very lucky dear boy,
And there was no permanent damage, 
It will take time,
But you should be walking in no time.",
He smiles,
Tried to pick up he cup made of styrofoam,
But he cant,
He finds out his wrist was broken in two places,
And will heal on its own,
He notices a long scar on his knee,
He was told he did permanent nerve damage,
And wont be able to feel anything on it or around it,
In what felt like a long time,
He made a complete recovery,
Grew stronger with his legs,
Goes back to school,
A day after his birthday,
And thats when the nightmare began.. 

Then one day,
His parents saved him with their kind words,
His eyes were opened,
He saw everything clearer and brighter,
He accepted God's word,
Hes grown stronger through Christ,
He was redeemed by his Savior,
God's unfailing love truly means the world to him,
His walk with God have been a journey he can not explain,
But the smile on his face says it all,
He walks stronger and stands tall,
For he put his trust in God,
The Sovereign Lord..
 
Most High,
Reigning in the sky,
Thats how he sees the Sovereign Lord.


Details | Ballad | |

When a god dies

Up in the clouds the king sits with no one around. His eyes roam to a fro walking the earth day 
and night yet with all his might he does not fathom the joy and happiness of these ants in his 
sight. Their life is short just days in his sight, but still they dream, love, fight, and die. Searching 
for a reason he left his throne. He walked among them and saw them as man; they walked 
upright, used reason and logic as he did. He came to a village a little girl cried I am so hungry, 
my father has died. The great king fed this family of three, but still they knew not the god-king 
he be. When they had ate the girl gave him a hug, the mother cried and bid him good-bye with 
love. This love was a thing he had never felt before, now he understood why they carried out 
their wars. The passion and pride that burns inside: a reason to believe, to fight, and to die. The 
deity returned high to his throne, having felt wanted he now felt alone; immortality looms large, 
it is too much to bear he needed a reason to live for, a purpose to care. The vastness of forever 
ahead no one to love nothing to live for the god-king dies. From his death there is a lesson to 
learn from his life, it is not how long you live but what you live for. Until you have something 
worth dying for you’re not really living


Details | Ballad | |

HE and his ART

Many hearts, each a beat
HE and his Art
=====
Sympathy struck my soul within the Watts Towers
One man, broken, lost
Gave other broken pieces of life another chance to shine
With beauty and grace
Close to his heart
Close to god

Before his hand came down
They were just figures fallen
Pieces hitting
Rock pavement bottom

These objects, that once served propose
Once had value
No longer desired

Used and abused
Broken souls
Left to corrode

Do you know what it feels like to be alone in fear
In shame with no hope
Can’t look in the mirror

Thought to no longer have purpose,
On this earth
To no longer have beauty
To no longer, have worth

Rebirth

Sees art on the ground
His Hand comes down
A man, once broken and scared
A suffering alcoholic with a second chance at life
His heart and soul he bares 

Perhaps it was sympathy,
He felt that day
When he started to create, a place of hope
The skills to cope 
For the pieces left to waste away

Each broken object, each piece of junk
He gave a gift of serenity
To shine and glimmer
To live beautifully,
In company 
Sublime and serene
Achieved

Surrounded by like others,
Once pieces left behind 
Alone, you seek cover
Together, in time

Is strength, and beauty
A vision of unity
A collective propose
Of vision and purity

What new perspective, from the inside to out 
Changes on the faces of the people about 
Seeing the junk, as a ship not sunk

In the shape of hope
And inspiration, a dream
Where we can go and where we have been

Reflect on this now
Of those who never saw
What the man’s vision was
Love, real and raw
In those broken pieces

With his signature, his heart
Left in different formations
Bottle and plates
Imagination
=====
Many hearts, each a beat
HE and his Art



Details | Ballad | |

song

it seems like only yesterday
you'd pick me up and carry me
and now i'm stuck wondering if you've moved on

I hate the way you stare at me
those brown eyes still and caressing
making me fall in love just one more time

I hate it, 
it's cruel
you stole my heart
and played me like a fool
and all I really want is to have it back



Details | Ballad | |

If You're Jealous

if you're jealous, then you have something to say
i know that we say it in wierd ways
but all the same, say it
and expect me to be  the same way
they say that "love is a two way street."
with a little bit of jealousy it's easy to defeat
but jealousy says i love you, even in deceit
is it really true that you want my attention
i doubt if word's will make you listen
so what am i left with to show my affliction
there is no easy way to show you my condition
my only hope is that you feel some perdition
if your any thing like me you'll feel the pain
if you really love me you'll go a little insane
give me what you promised me
your faith and nothing else
in the sight if jealousy, my only wealth


Details | Ballad | |

Litany of Decay

Her black eyes allure you
Into her cloak if traps 
Nothing is right anymore 
Death encircles you but 
Never finds you

They Want my curse of eternal 
life 
But all I want to do is reach 
for the knife
In blood you rose
In blood I fall

 forever I must sing this litany
dying in life-- let my find my 
grave
'twas the myriad year
inducing a lucid fear
 I can hear my coffin's cry
 my body lies
there's nothing left to say
This Litany of decay

Free me, hear me, my death 
where have you gone
I Drown in Vitality
Dying in my immortality 
Just waiting for the stake to 
reach my heart
Caress me with your pain
like the blood in rain

Your shell is breaking
Show them what lies inside
Witch of centuries
Witch of lies
Love was never meant for you

forever I must sing this litany
dying in life-- let my find my 
grave
'twas the myriad year
inducing a lucid fear
 I can hear my coffin's cry
 my body lies
there's nothing left to say
This Litany of decay

forever I must sing this litany
dying in life-- let my find my 
grave
'twas the myriad year
inducing a lucid fear
 I can hear my coffin's cry
 my body lies
there's nothing left to say
This Litany of decay


Details | Ballad | |

Wasn't Enough

Why bother trying, You watch yourself dying, Crying out to God asking for advice, Help me find away to rejoice, Speak up and feel the noise, Only in away that He knows, And you cant explain, To Save you and take away the pain, You open your eyes and see the world is spinning, Trying to figure when am I gonna start winning, Sitting in a corner and your losing, Thinking why am I on this path that I'm choosing, You make one last cry for help?, But no ones around to answer......
 
Demons surround you, Nowhere to run, You look to the ground and you pick up that gun, Raise it to your head, But you can't pull the trigger, You place it out in front and start to fire, Thinking the bullets wont hit them and you don't believe they will only to call God a liar, Seeking away out, Time running short you scream and shout, Demons closing in stronger and awaiting a final attack, You stand your ground and try to fight back, But like a diamond in the rough, It Wasn't Enough......
 
Struggling to find peace within, You ask God to forgive you of your sins, Only to figure out its you, you can't forgive, Tension rises once again, You wonder is this the end? Fighting to survive with all your might, Suddenly day turns to night, Demons coming upon you, Your mind in fear you dont know what to do, You seek out a voice, Your ears filled with noise, Your eyes pin out Demons in all directions, Inching and inching ever so closely, You make one last cry for help, But no ones around to answer......
 
Once again the Demons surround you making escape a mere impossibility, You fall to your knee's and pray, Talking to God saying all you can say, You open your eyes and see a blinding light, Thus its the hand of God giving you the strength to stand up and fight, A war that lasted nearly a decade is coming to a close as it seems, But your still in question with those nightmarish dreams, The dreams bring you down but you try to stay tough, In the end, It Wasn't Enough......


Details | Ballad | |

A ballad for Hannah

A ballad for Hannah (In memory)

I awoke this morning with a frightening chill,
Hannah has been killed
By a group of peers,
There was never any violence
Only immaturity from them all.

Day by day was Hell
She always felt like she was locked in a cell,
The rumors grew closer
Minutes got longer,
Death was knocking at the door.

No one noticed her sorrowful eyes
Or even wondered if she wanted to die,
All that mattered to them
Is letting everyone know
That she can not be trusted.

She plotted a devious deed
Who would notice this lead?
Her fall would be quick and painless,
No one would ever suspect it,
Hannah has been killed.


Details | Ballad | |

Kay Maria Jessa

Ang iyong kariktang lubhang bumighani
Niring puso kong ‘di marunong Kumasi; 
Siya ring imaheng gumanti- pighati
S'yang naglaho't dahil niring pagkasawi.

Hindi sa kita ay aking sinisisi
Sa bukas sa balanang aking nasapit; 
Hindi sa naglilo ang iyong pagkasi.
Kundi, Siguro, pag- irog mo'y napatid! 

Kirot man sa dibdib ang naging hantungan, 
Ang noo'y paraisong pagmamahalan, 
M.J. ay sa dagli ng iyong pagparam
‘Di ko maatim na sa iyo'y dumamdam.

‘Di mo man hustong natalastas sa akin; 
Marahil ako'y naging mitya ng lahat; 
Ang kabuoang ako ang naging dahil
Na iyong diwang paglisan ay naganap.

Kung kaya, sa positibong haka- haka
Na ngayo'y sa puso aking nakakatha, 
Pabayaan mong umintindi't umasta
Na sa lipon ng sakit, INTINDI KITA!


Details | Ballad | |

Hollow Hearts Beat Too

Depression stains with shades of blue
and clings to crimson beats of life.
The mournful scarlet sanctum bleeds,
cut down by maddening mortal strife.

The world's rejection slowly seeps
into that loving sanctum's core,
corroding human elements
and everything it once adored.

What's left is but a lonely shell
devoid of thought and warmth alike;
such vessels have been long disdained
and left impaled on distant spikes.

To disregard another life
because of such vacuity
is, in itself, unethical,
and it will never cease to be.

Is not there breath in vacancy?
Do not plants grow on rootless logs,
or has such greenery been banned
to live forever lost in fog?

Is not there faith in emptiness?
Does not hope lie in wishing wells,
or are the pleas of passersby
ignored and left alone to dwell?

Is not there tune in spacious voids?
Does not sound ring from empty drums,
or is such resonance reduced 
to lowly insubstantial hums?

The world continues pivoting,
as if its people never knew
the pain they caused through ignorance:


                                                           ...forsaken hollow hearts beat too.


Details | Ballad | |

Nobodys Child But mine

Nobody’s child but mine, He wasn’t wanted, Except by me
He was born so strong, Should have been two, Oh what a joy
This child of mine, Ten tiny fingers , Ten tiny toes too, That child of
Mine.

He warmed my heart from that moment on, That child of mine .
I lost his dad, He didn’t want to know, That child of mine .

He was sick , Born that way, That child of mine .
Smiles and laughter that lit up a room, That child of mine .
Many a worry, That sick child of mine, Yet so eager to please. 
A loving child..

Full of smiles, Laughter too, He was left with his tiny new brother .
That child of mine, New dad and all, He was so pleased .
So proud of his new baby brother. That child of mine.
 
I just never knew, Thought he was safe that child of mine .
How he snapped , His new dad At that child of mine .

My joyful night, Became a mothers worst fear..
That poor child of mine, He couldn’t breathe, New dad didn’t cope.

Love was blind, This I knew, Now I’m ashamed, I should have knew.
He was only three, Battered and bruised, That poor child of mine .
From top to toe, Look what he’d done to that child of mine .

I know I should have let go, Be seen and heard for that child of mine..
I was so young with two kids in tow, How would I cope, I did not know.

To young and afraid of being alone, I should have known .

That child of mine, In sorry now, Was so naïve, It should have been done.
I should have let him go, For that child of mine I loved so .

Never again will I be afraid, Scared and unsure for any child of mine .
Their just no excuse, He was only three, That poor child of mine .
I was his mum, Should have known, What had to be done .
I should have spoke out, And not been afraid .
For that child of mine, I was his mum .


Details | Ballad | |

RESTLESS YOUNG MAN WITHOUT A NAME

He keeps a very low profile,
afraid of the the horrible secret he hides;
hooked on a daily dosage of cocaine...
seeking an instant relief from his acute pain!
His cramped den is the stench
of smoked substance bought on drug-infested streets,
and filth is the undeniable evidence:
one can surely tell that he lives in Hell...
red devilish eyes and sunken cheeks; 
a wasted mind and body meeting their end!   

Restless young man without a name,
wary of the destructible consequences
that stunt your unremorseful conscience;
and what price will you pay and whom will you blame?
Restless young man without a name,
you only existed to fulfill a destiny of shame! 

Day-time is so detestable to him,
more than the viciousest enemy;
night-time changes his personality...  
and he searches for dope down-town,
where the houses are so run-down...
occupied by the crack-heads of East Main!
A limping kid, from nowhere, hands him
a small bag and he exchanges it for some green;
and what started the urge within...
is a deep wound, which can never heal! 

Restless young man without a name, 
intoxicated by the poison that destroys your life and health;
you can't be aware of what distorts your weak senses...
until you are helpless and run out of breath! 
Restless young man without a name,
guiltless and indulgent...you allow death to happily dance!


Details | Ballad | |

Friend to the end.

The lies I hear.
How bad they hurt.
don’t let it show.
don’t shed a tear.
Just leave it to myself,
Never to tell aloud.
 Cant tell no one, 
Left on my “hurt shelf”.
When ever I do, 
I try to hide
The irresistible feelings
Whenever I cry.
Now, you have hurt me,
And don’t even care.
The way I feel,
Or how he does his hair.
He never even loved
The way I acted,
Or the way I talked.
Just the way I looked,
And the way I walked.
Your suppose to be a friend.
Not for 5 seconds,
Not for 5 minutes,
But a friend to the end.
Just a friend to the end.


Details | Ballad | |

WHY CANT I GET AWAY

The hurt and heart ache and pain i just want somebody to take me away

i'm tired of being lonely its been going on for too long so heres my song

life has taken its toll on me used me and abused me never made me but did 
break me

all i ever wanted was a hand to hold a friend to have and somebody to keep me 
warm when i'm cold

the more i try to give myself to somebody the more they all move further away

some people might say you have your family but my own siblings wont even 
accept me

if i have something to give i get greetings and smiles but when i'm empty handed 
i cant even give myself a smile

GOD is enough for me i'm sure of that but while i'm on earth who really has my 
back

i came in this world alone and i will die alone but never did i imagine i would live 
my life so alone, so cold , so hurt and so empty


Details | Ballad | |

Don't Follow Me

Picture features stretched and strained
Hearing unfamiliar names
Knowing if I let them in 
That I’ll be taking all the blame

Oh, your pain it scares me so
Weird connections but I know
That I’ll never want to show
How we face a common foe

Falling faster sweeter still
Sitting on your window sill
Razors hidden in the frame
Some where I know more remain

Oh my sweethearts, oh my friends
Can’t you see the cold in me?
Remember the fun never ends
You have but to turn the key
Don’t follow me or you might fall
Don’t follow, I run into walls!

A knife tucked in your pillow case
A smile plastered on your face
Exactos slipped in every book
Sharp bits hid in every nook!

Orange and purple, blue and green
Colors deeper than they seem
But I know every one can see
Red is under every thing!

Long and loose, my cut-off sleeves
Sweaters under bright green leaves
With all this darkness pouring in
I hope no one asks me to swim.

Oh my sweethearts, oh my friends
Can’t you see the cold in me?
Remember the fun never ends
You have but to turn the key
Don’t follow me or you might fall
Don’t follow, I run into walls!


Friends gather from near and far
Bumming rides and stealing cars
A little love shouldn’t be this hard
But talking won’t rub away my scars

And though I feel it’s hopeless
And though I feel the heat seep in
I try so hard to quit this
But I never seem to win

Girls you know I love you so
But when my hands begin to glow
I just need to fade it out
Pain is what it’s all about

Don’t follow me or you will see
Steak knives hidden in the trees
Razors stashed through-out the halls
Remember I run into walls!

Remember I run into walls!  
Remember I run into walls!
(whisper)Remember I run into walls…
And where ever I’m wont to tread
I’m always hanging by a thread
Cradling my spinning head
From all the things I haven’t said
I know I’ll never have it all
Answering a distant call
Stop following to see me fall
DON’T FOLLOW!  I RUN INTO WALLS!


Details | Ballad | |

Tainted Innocence

Sly smile greets me as eyes feast upon my skin
Undress he silently pleads
Unwanted hands touch thy naked leg
An innocent mind is slowly being tainted
Fornication is written all over his unholy mind
A cringe brings forth a sparkle in his eye
Confusion clouds her vulnerable mind 
Her skin is creaming against his filthy touch
Sinful hands travel up her thighs 
Run! Yell! persists her mind
Unwanted fingers caress her virgin parts
Shock claims her body
Her brain urges her body to leave yet it ignores 
Rough, twitching fingers caress her sensible zone
Tears are clouding her vision
Her body intents to flee but he blocks her way
Desire is clearly shown below his waist
Terror seizes hr body
Shot down the bed, he rips her shirt open
She's only eleven
Anxious, greedy fingers pull against her skirt
Punches are thrown at her attacker
He only responds by hitting her close to unconsciousness
Violent hands take off her panties
She's trying to weakly fight him off
Hands explore her vulnerable body
Sobs escape her wet lips
He pulls down his pants
She desperately screams for help
Mocking her to continue yelling, everyone is gone
She see s him pull down his boxers
Lust controls his sick mind
Rough hands touch her virginity
He becomes erect
She's struggles when he grabs her hand
He only strikes her senseless
Placing her little hand on his erection, gently stroking it
Fear clouds her sense
A perverted smile greets her horror glazed eyes
'Open your mouth'
Terror forces her brain to do as he commands
He shifts towards her placing his erection inside
'Suck it'
Disgust fill her senses
'Suck it!' he yells, hitting her already bruised face
Wincing, she does as she is told fearing for her life
Pleasure creeps up to his face as he loudly moaned
She bursts into tears
He takes himself out
Pinning her down, he puts himself upon her entrance
Evading all privacy She screams in agony as he roughly takes all her innocence
Tears flow relentlessly down her face
He disengages from her
'You're parents will pick you up in a week' he smirks
Doom fills her
He leaves her alone
And to think that she considered him the greatest uncle ever


Details | Ballad | |

Your Love is always near by

Your Love is always near by 



 I can't wipe the tears from your eyes

 I can't take away the hurt you feel inside

 knowing the pain that you are struggling with

 hoping you will find comfort from within 

 the tears that flow are tears of love

 the love your missing is always at your side

 never think your all alone for your Love is always near by !



 By Carmella Adkins Hohner



 June 27th 2014


Details | Ballad | |

Daisy

Hello Daisy, What worries ye? Take it easy, Oh, let's see what is it that engages your eye! Oh Daisy, my sweet and charming Daisy, Black, White, Green, And...I know how choosy are ye! Perusing all those fifty different shades, so actively? Let's see...ah, I see you have chosen your fav as grey! Remember those days, when I got up early to meet ya? I admired you so much, in that polka-dotted red frock. You'd come oh so late, chat few moments, and say 'Cya!' Did I ever knew it hid a heart so black? You never cared for nobody, what worry can you have now? You, always so bejeweled, one could hardly see the skin! How else could I be defrauded, by mind so shallow, And thoughts so thin? Daisy, Oh Daisy, had I not been such a fool - Had I not been such an awful sissy, One who was always at your beck and call - Might have I known then, seduction is so easy-peasy! Even if not Beautiful, even if not Unearthly, Had I been so Dominating, so Grey, Had I used you, and abused you, the way you did to me, Could you O Daisy leave me then so easy? Farewell to you o heartless witch, Fairer maidens are they whose inner charm hold the sway! Know ye, it takes but little to make a heart switch, While you ponder upon your storybook wedding day, I am on my sweeter way...


Details | Ballad | |

When the Sun and the Seaside Kissed

When the Sun and the Seaside Kissed
     By Dane Smith-Johnsen

Oh, how lovely the view that summer’s eve.
When the sun and the seaside kissed.
There stood on the shore a soul bereaved.
For the heart had known not life’s bliss.
By the wind’s gentle breeze silhouette beheld.
And caressed a soul’s tearful mist.
Heavenly smile, a little bit wild,
Somehow strangely beckoned, hissed. 
The heart strongly longed for the splendor awhile.
Invitation did not resist.

This day that I speak of was long ago.
Pain embraced a sweet soul in the midst.
We both know; spirits soared that night.  
Hope’s summons had not been missed. 
Witnessed by God, the angels sang.
Then, they wrote our names on a list. 
That day, death’s call was washed away.
And love for an eternity clasped.
Invocation!  Death could not enlist.
Standing there crying in the mist,

The wind blowing ever so free,
Salty air was my only kiss.
How deadly my view that summer’s eve.
For this heart had known not life’s bliss.
God sent you to rescue me.
And enlightened my soul’s tearful kiss.
We stood relieved and sang on the shore.
When the sun and the seaside kissed.


Details | Ballad | |

Numb

whats gone wrong?
am I past the point of no return?
will I get my feet back on the ground?

sitting down 
all alone inside my head
getting lost within my thoughts 
feeling like there's no escape 
getting sick and falling down 

falling down 
increase in speed
there's no where left to turn around

I guess I'm numb
disappointment has led me here
I need some help to leave this place
some help I haven't quite yet found


Details | Ballad | |

8 Weeks

8 weeks. The shortest 8 weeks of my life. You were growing inside me. You 
knew me. You depended on me. You changed my life. Did I let you down?

8 weeks. We developed a bond. I wanted you so badly. I knew you were mine. 
I loved you so much for such a short time. I still love you. You heard my voice 
as I spoke to you. You felt my love. Was it not enough?

8 weeks. It ended. You ended. With your lose, I lost my dreams, hopes, plans-
my future with you. My heart was shattered into a million zillion pieces. I lost a 
huge part of me. I lost my baby. Why did you have to go?

8 weeks. Others didn't understand my pain. You were so very real to me, not 
them. They didn't go everywhere with you. They didn't talk to you. They didn't 
nourish you, or love you as I had. You were mine, not theirs. Important 
enough to have a beating heart. Why couldn't they see?

8 weeks. 8 simple weeks turned into a lifetime of depression, questions, & 
uncertainty. Depressed at the thought of your future being taken away from 
you, from me. My lose. My child. It isn't right, not fair. So many questions to 
the man upstairs. Why MY baby? Why me?

8 weeks. That is all it took for such a tiny little miracle to completely transform 
my life. In 8 weeks I was filled with more love and happiness than I have ever 
known. In just 8 short weeks I discovered true, unconditional love. You 
showed me a glimpse of Heaven. Just 8 weeks-you changed my life. 


Details | Ballad | |

And Nothing Else Matters

I never opened myself this way,
I try to hide my evil everyday.
All of this I can't just say,
My darkened bed is where I lay.
I lived my life without a care,
A place to hide please take me there.
My emotions paint the walls with darkened splatters,
And nothing else matters.

I want to run away never looking back,
Prove all the people wrong talking smack.
But I can't bare to witness this any longer.
Take me to a new home.
I can't find it to care,
A place to hide please take me there.
My emotions paint the walls with darkened splatters,
And nothing else matters.


Details | Ballad | |

I Long For Yesterday

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
I can't find light to brighten up my days,
I guess I'll just fall astray.
Suddenly I'm not all the man I used to be,
There's an evil shadow inside of me.
I can't seem to set all the problems free,
I guess my only option is turn back and flee.
Although I sit here and have this guilt,
I'm burning down the good I ever built.
The good times were an easy game to play,
I'm searching for a place to hide away.
I don't know why I have to run. 
I still can not say,
I've done everything wrong,
Now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here stay.
Suddenly I'm not all the man I used to be,
There's an evil shadow inside of me.
The good times were an easy game to play,
I'm searching for a place to hide away.
I don't know why I have to run.  
I still can not say,
I've done everything wrong,
Now I long for yesterday.


Details | Ballad | |

Lost In The World, Not My Mind.

It's identity I know not
It's place I know not where
Yet I yearn to feel it's touch
I look for understanding
Perhaps it may not be understood
This nothingness is my passion
it's identity is left to wonder in thy mind
how to acknowledge what is not there
I'm blind to it's magnitude
To solve would be out of it's realm
To define that which has no words
What to make of this.
It's absolute, or concrete in thy head
It's a question which there are no tools to solve
It's infinite
Do others feel the same
Where is it?
My mind is it's temple

And to those who wish to see
To those who wish to seek
I have been on the voyage far to long
Still I run on curiosity
For I have peered into it's core
A place where there is no life
A place where existence is that in itself existent
I wish to peer like so into thy world
And not to be soaked up by this sponge
I say this yet I still sit on a dock and watch
I still in some way admire it's place
But life is to important to loose 
to loose to something that should be insignificant to the joys of life
Laughter, Poetry, Communication, Art, Family, Friends, Ideas, the Children, 
Philosophy,
These the gifts of life
My mind must focus elsewhere
On a world with unimaginable beauties
I wish to explore your world God.
I wish to experience the very experiences you wish for me to partake
For 10 long years I have been lost amongst it's magnitude
I wish to be lost amongst yours 
You built a beautiful world
I wish to be lost in the world, Not lost in my mind.


Details | Ballad | |

Every time it really hurts

Why doesn't he love me
Why can't he see
Every time it really hurts
I don't do anything to get it
But I still get hit
Every time it really hurts
If I don't put my toys away
Have to stand on a very hot tray
Every time it really hurts
Stop crying, act like a man
Or I'll get the back of a hand
Every time it really hurts
Didn't shut off the kitchen tap
Now here comes the leather strap
Every time it really hurts
Stayed up until I saw the moon
He's gone to go get the wooden spoon
Every time it really hurts
Hands, feet, butt, face are very sore
Can't take it anymore
Every time it really hurts
No more, that's it, I'm done
Have to go and get his gun.
It doesn't really hurt anymore.


Details | Ballad | |

Pouring Out Actions

As thoughts poured out
As her feeling came
And reminded her about
The actions that run
And cause severe chaos
As the sun peers
Through her window
As her heart washes itself
Her shadow hangs on the wall
As a towering figure
That stood tall
And drained any sympathy
Inside her pacing memories
As the scenes would fly
Pain turned into tears
With a knife aimed
At her heart with fear
Fear of losing sympathy
From the heavenly provider
Logic drowned in emotion
No comforter there
To end the commotion
And keep her soul here
But fear clogs her veins
Thinking back on yesterday
Feeling the good times
Until this knife took it all
Only seconds away from her heart
What if she dropped it?
Where would she start?
Obscurity hangs in the air
Only she cares
Her and that knife.



Details | Ballad | |

The tears are shed

The tears are shed the weakness is fear my days are dark my nights are darker my mouth spits anger and the pain of my life hate has filled the one place in my life my blood boils with the things I've been threw I've walked a million miles and have retraced them all look into my eyes deep into my soul can you see the pain the pain I behold the scares remind me of my misfortunes how do I turn my darkness to light my frown to a smile my fear into happiness these are all questions I ask night after night 


Details | Ballad | |

Heavens Breaking Down

i see you and you see me your breaking me down completely your words say so much i hate it but i miss your touch days seem to pass by why did you have to lie false hope comes crashing down the grave laid out you have found thoughts keep spinning im never winning rock bottom i have finally hit sometimes i can't deal with this ***** im in a carnival of souls made up of a million holes trapt in the darkness of the night wanting to hold on tight go ahead take a bow its all over now darkness sweeps in ive finally paid for my sin


Details | Ballad | |

Low Man Is Due

A low man is due...
My eyes seek reality,
My fingers feel for faith.
Touch clean with a dirty hand,
I touch the clean to the waste.
I fall cause I let go,
The net below has rot away.
And I cry to the alleyway,
Confess all to the rain.
But I lie straight to the mirror,
The one I've broken to match my face.
The fire is so warm,
But nowhere safe from the storm.
And I can't bear to see,
What I've let me be.
So wicked and worn.
So as I write to you,
Of what is done and to do.
Maybe you'll understand,
I won't cry for this man.
Cause low man is due.
So low the sky is all I see,
All I want from you is forgive me.
My eyes seek reality,
And my fingers seek my veins.
There's a dog at your back step,
He must come in from the rain.
But you bring that poor dog in from the rain,
Though he just wants right back out again.
So my fingers feel for faith,
And my eyes seek reality.
So as I write to you,
Of what is done and to do.
Maybe you'll understand,
I won't cry for this man.
Cause low man is due.


Details | Ballad | |

GoodBye

Baby please don’t cry
I would rather see you smile 
Its time to say goodbye
Why won’t we rest for a while?

I know that our love is there
But I guess no body feels
Let’s both settle down to be fare
Let’s wait for the time to heal

You know what I also feel 
We both now we are depressed
But then again it’s isn’t real
There is something to confess

We both know that we are wrong 
Why we’ve come up to this
From the start we don’t belong
For there is something that we miss

I guess the fault is with both of us 
Nether it is yours or mine
For we have done mistakes in the past
I guess we were both so blind

Then so we’ve com e up to end
That we don’t waned to go back to start
I guess this love never mends
For we waned to be apart

Be happy where ever you may go 
You will always be part of me
I loved you, I want you to know
Let this love break and free


Details | Ballad | |

Mental Illness

Frozen in time
A Lonesome mime
Don't believe that I'm Fine
broken from within
what is this pain Sin?
Distant from the crowd
shy to speak out loud
bound to this illness
becoming less and less
myself forever lost.


Details | Ballad | |

Solemn Son

Where's my mommy? Where'd daddy go?
Older sister says she's nobody's daughter.
Loveless lament as I realize I never had parents.
In our lives, no arch angels or saving souls were sent.
I hold my sister as in pretense she tells us no harm was ever meant.
But sociopath mother and murderer father must be held responsible.
Forever gone in a loveless void, their sins are irreconcilable!
As the strangers take us away from the past I look towards the shining sun.
And I yearn to forget my mother's blood and my father's smile as he guiltlessly grasped
his gun.
They've destroyed themselves and left behind a distraught daughter and solemn son.


Details | Ballad | |

Nothing To Find

Torn apart the dreams turn to tears, Going back to anger are the only fears. Trying to find a safe place to hide, The only thing is hate and guilt to the side. Nowhere to ease the mind, Nothing to find. 

True values of pain, Like a cowardly leader in battle to be slain. Rise to fall, There's no feeling to feel at all. Torn apart the dreams turn to tears, Going back to anger are the only fears. Trying to find a safe place to hide, The only thing is hate and guilt to the side. Nowhere to ease the mind, Nothing to find.


Details | Ballad | |

Unstable

Damage is done 
Blames all your own 
I lived for you only 
not that you cared 
not that you knew 

Like a smile from an angel 
Looking right through me 
What I’d give for your notice 
just a catch of your eye 

Hours turn to days, as minutes tick by 
Still you’re looking, looking right through 
All that I am is meant just for you 
How is it you cannot see me 
I’m right here, right in front of you 

It’s killing me 
But its killing you too 

Damage is done 
Blames all your own 
I lived for you only 
not that you cared 
not that you knew 

Hallowed out, I refuse to die alone 
Even the emptiness is gone 
Left on the edge 
just waiting for a push 

Running out of patience 
Breath comes heavy 
Still there is nothing 
Again you look right though me 
Why can’t you see 

It’s killing me 
But it’s killing you too 

Damage is done 
Blames all your own 
I lived for you only 
Not that you cared 
Not that you knew 

Can’t go on like this no longer 
Just existing in shadow 
Don’t walk through me again 
Don’t, don’t you dare 

Bun halo, burn 
I’m taking you down 
All we could have been 
You just wouldn’t see 
All the love for you, living in me 

Damage is done 
Blames all your own 
I lived for you only 
Not that you cared 
Not that you knew 



Details | Ballad | |

Lost Love

When I think about the love I lost.

I tried to save it at any cost.

It just wasn't enuff.

So now I'm stuck in this rutt.


Details | Ballad | |

Fight The Mere Fight

So it begins, A man falls into his reckless sins.
Believes in God, Talks to him everyday.
Little does he know, The pain is sure grow.
Acts of guilt, sorrow and self retreat brings him crumbling down.
God is more than what others think of to him.
He's Almighty, Glorious, Powerful, Freind, Creator, Lord, and Father above all.
Thus he learns everyday what he reads in the Bible to which he takes in at heart, He breaks into tears wanting a new start.
God and his friends are the only ones he can talk to, No one else seems to understand thus making talking about what he wants too to them very difficult. He doesnt know what to do.
With little time and so much weight on his shoulders its hard to see a brighter side, Before he knows it he will lose his pride.
So much negativity is surrounding him where he calls home, He talks to God explains what is going on and awaits a message.
A message so clear only he could hear, Though some cannot stand to wittness any longer.
Repenting God is something he cannot do, He wouldn't stay true.
Hes in a never ending battle with himself on giving up and fighting the mere fight growing stronger under God.
But its a tough battle.
He doubts himself.
Making a stand from living or dying is one he may never break free,
But he knows he's not alone and he suddenly can see.
The burning passion of a light,
WIth it he learns to fight the mere fight.


Details | Ballad | |

Setting Sun

Why must you leave
Must you go away
Can we not bask 
In another light of day
What are you running from my dear
Can we not stand and fight the
Fear inside
The fear inside 
Fight the fear inside
Away 
Won’t you stay
As the sun sets
I hold on for the light
You took the stars
I sit alone in the night
Why must this sun always fall down
And leave me broken on the
Hard cold ground
The hard cold ground
This same old broken ground
Tonight
This can’t be right
When you came home
You asked to meet up some night
But I stayed home
I’m so weary from this fight
I tried to love you tried to stay strong
But I’ve been dragged on 
Far too long
I can’t hold on
I can no longer be strong
For you


Details | Ballad | |

Growing Love

Even though you just left today it feels like eternity.

Since you held me in your arms and I felt u close to me.

My heart aches that you had to go, but deep down in my heart i know.

That my love for you will always grow.


Details | Ballad | |

Eternal Haze

I chug the bottle now that your gone eternal haze is where i belong my world came crashing down all alone with nothing to lose i feel like i should give up i try to stand tall i try to be strong Without you here i don't belong the ground quakes when i walk i fall to my knees n sulk this feeling wont seem to fade y won't the pain just go away im losing everything now my heart beat starts to go slower my last breath is starting to fade the bottle drops to the ground i look up at the sky taking my last breath the stars sparkle and steal my soul im gone now, no one cares im just a distant memory of dispare no one at the funeral im finally alone at last


Details | Ballad | |

God Forsaken Waltz

when You told me You loved me
i signed the peace treaty,
then i sadly saw
that my name stood alone;

there were no other takers --
all who watched were fakers;
i knew in an instant
i couldn't go home.

it soon became clear
the things i held dear
were not as important
as they once seemed to be;

but still, God, You spoke --
many thought it a joke --
and, in my false pride,
i inclined to agree.

You directed the current,
i was drenched in the torrent
of what was intended
as soul-cleansing love;

but i thought i was drowning,
i resisted the crowning
from Your loving hands
and the help from above.

i'm not much for praying,
not good at displaying
the way You intend me
to live out my life;

i'm caught in the maelstrom,
the everyman hail storm
of facing each day
and the on-coming strife;

and all i can say
is i'm willing to pay
for blowing You off
and refusing to hear --

hard-headed and stubborn
often feeling forlorn,
immersing my psyche
in indulgent tears.

You wait patiently
for my heart to see
what my eyes have always
known all along;

help me, open my mind
to my ears, please be kind --
let me take in the sweet sound
of Your angels' song




Details | Ballad | |

help me

help me
land me a hand
a sholder to cry on
anything
help me out of here
away from here
to find my place to be
my reason for living
some comforting words
to crack a smile
even if ill regret it later
try to help me 
thats all i want


Details | Ballad | |

Bad Blood

The Sunnis and the Shiite Muslims
Want to tear each other a part
While all the Muslims and Hindus of India
Want to tear out each others heart

The Jews never did anything to the Germans
And yet they think they did everything wrong
And do you know what happened?
They all suffered for so long

That so many would die
For crimes they never committed
While Hitler would only lie
By saying they did everything they were accused of

No matter where you look or go
There's bad blood everywhere
I feel it's something you should know
If you want to travel the world

It's all in the past, present, and future
But there is bad blood in this world
That much is for sure
But the question is: what will we do about it?


Details | Ballad | |

Luciferia I-- Cease To Exist

I sense something in her eyes that feels like tragedy She closed her heart but its dark pulse Wilts and stetchs against the wanes How many days will the passion bleed Till it subsides into the new pain We are the ones who will face the blame ''Don't you see what's infront of me, I have to face it all I know there's something wrong help is what I want but it's not what I find You're all filled with troubling lies and incoherent minds Cant you see you're strangling me with every last word There's something you don't know Lying in my heart is why you want to throw the stone'' Her raven eyes fill the silence Luciferia we cease to exist it's burning away-- all others' reliance Luciferia we cease to exist my darkly darling don't fade away Luciferia we cease to exist beware we've became their prey Luciferia we cease to exist


Details | Ballad | |

one mistake

i pull and i strain
my muscles are tightening
the pressure is raising
temperatures blazing
why do i go through this?
going through the pain
the huts and the work
easier to just make it all stop?
then what have ive been doing
all this time that i have spent
to give it all up cause of some pain
that shall go away
the effort that i put 
and the risks that i take
now are just going to flow away
because of my one mistake


Details | Ballad | |

Discipline

Once rich and admirable, and now a life destroyed in flames.
With no direction, trapped, and with no hint of change.
Unprepared, equipped with a materialistic persona and a lavish fur coat.
Shock overwhelms him, and he is effortless to save his sinking boat.
Money can save anything, but not when the desired object is  forever lost.
A concept incomprehensible to a former prince, even when his life is at cost.
Pride of the prince and disrespect of the devil.
And no life skills - No discipline.


Details | Ballad | |

Eye of the Hurricane

Being inside my bedroom is
Like being inside the eye of a hurricane
If I wander off too far
I'll get caught in a storm of fast wind and rain

But if I stay inside
No harm will come to me
But being inside the storm's eye is
Not quite that easy

I want to go out there
May be find people to hang out with
All this isolation is hard to bear
But what can I do about it?

If I try to leave my room
I'm just going to end up getting hurt
And if I try to leave
I'm just going to end up hitting pay dirt

Because of the storm
That lies ahead of me
But I guess I will never know
I guess I will never be set free


Details | Ballad | |

devils touch

as i lay down asleep
devils comwe to me
stripping away my aoul
finally leaving me

taking away all my sufferes
my bad thought
and my horrors
finally being at ease

all the pains i feel
and the things that i do
the yells that ive heard
thety are finally through

along with my soul
my heart is gone to
how shattered and torn
it has no good use
finally starting anew

the devils touch
its a pain in my chest
but its a small price to pay
for my new life ahead
finally living again


Details | Ballad | |

Only She Cries

What If I told You That I Loved you
would we care
would we die
 Chains surrounding Alice
Only She Cries
 
World Banished her
Love left her
all Alone
Melancholia presides over
 
Alice dies again
Will she ever reign
 
Will she ever see
what’s here to be
Only She Cries
 
She’s a ghost
Nobody to call Her name
Only She Cries
will she not live
whispers of her Raven mind
only control her
There’s no hope
Only she Cries
What If I told You That I Loved you
 
 
Empty Without a savoir
Will She ever be cured from this
will she breakaway
Gaia couldn’t be so cruel
Just to wail away—Let the Banshee Crie
Just wail away the pain
wail away the pain
 
Enter my heart and you’ll see
that Was the only thing you could ever need
Alice; only she cries
let it show
That love never dies
Through Euphoria
through melancholia
 
 
She’s a ghost
Nobody to call Her name
Only She Cries
will she not live
whispers of her Raven mind
only control her
There’s no hope
Only she Cries
What If I told You That I Loved you
 
 
She’s a ghost
Nobody to call Her name
Only She Cries
will she not live
whispers of her Raven mind
only control her
There’s no hope
Only she Cries
What If I told You That I Loved you
 
 
You didn’t know
how you could save her
Only if you could her
Alice dies
Only she cries


Details | Ballad | |

Marie II-- Troubled Tides

Wake up with a dream on your eyes left with the hearts that bid you Goodbye Shadow Dreamer-- Poisoned Lover Venom seeps through the Way The Way you held on to Me There's a Thorn in your Heart I left it there so the dreams and your pain shall unfold Inside you and all of your Lithium Lovers You're my lover, My Dear The Greatest Enemy I had to Contend pretending with "I Love You" but I know you Hate me till Hell's End Is it in Vain? You Sleep with the hate How can you dodge the fate? You let the Dagger dance on your Tongue You are my beloved Enemy Marie


Details | Ballad | |

The Golden Moon

What was the reason we sat upon the golden moon?
Here in my heart I know the motion wasn’t sand less dune.
Now I still hear the chiming of that distant brass bell.
Ringing in that soft sad melancholy tone called hell.

The water falls into my hand,
Like the tickling of the pounding sand.
Stinging me with its touch,
But clinging like a cripple to a crutch.
Never leaving my skin,
Such a grassless barren land of sin.
Oh such endurance I can not find to win.

Hear the bell chime louder upon the hour again.
Now the golden moon has sent us a golden shower.
For the whisper of the chime must remain.
Such a yellow softness has made mad men sane.

Screaming, crying out their fear…
Eco..eco do you hear?
This is a tune of yester year.
Was it all in my mind?

Search and you will never find.
What was the reason I do not know.
Now he is gown what have you to show?

The baby is crying louder, louder, in the night.
The eagle broke its wing in a soaring flight.
What was the name of my thoughtless man?
Reach for your soul cause no one else can.
You have washed up upon the ocean shore.
Now the golden moon is no more.

When they come with their dogs searching at dawns first light,
There will be a lifeless you who once shivered with a fright.
Mud a crusty cake in your hair.
You were trapped in a golden snare.
To this river I thee wed.
You had to jump, and now you’re dead.


Details | Ballad | |

Divorce is not Final

The pain is back again, that no pills or bottle can cure...
I tried to set things straight, the TRUTH will come out sure.
They must understand, I did NOT leave, I was forced from my bed...
Against my will, with a gun to my head.
I was just ONE man against many, who wanted what I had...
My kids must understand, I am STILL their DAD !
I am a man who tried to hold my ground...
but there were four little kids around.
I was told to leave or no one would find my body again.
Hurt and kicked from town to town, I didn't have my friends.
They sold and stole it all, after they tore my family down...
I do not like being homeless and sleeping on the ground !
Fore no job can be found, when your name is trodden down...
so I do what I can and float around.
Disabled and riches GONE, it's not fair...
It was all MINE, kids, homes and cars, the judge don't care !
I had worked and paid for it all...
Divorce is a bunch of blood suckers taking it all !
The innocent take the horrible fall...
Dam you satan and the woman who STOLE it all !
But GOD is strong and this is not over yet...
They sealed their doom, you bet.
She does not let me see my kids...
so GOD won't let her live.
Eternity is a very long time...
to be standing in burning slime !!!


Details | Ballad | |

Dissociation

I see a better world that I can use Its far from you And inside me The reality is too much to handle anymore It's a place we all can love A place where all angels dwell Burnt in my mind everything you've done to me It saves me to go away It's my internal prison It's my only safe-haven I'm my mind there is a place That only I can control Your misery will haunt me no more As Long as I'm in my own reality You will be no more It's deep enough where you will never find But open enough to keep expanding I will not be stapled by your dominance anymore This is it i will take a stand A sky with death In it's smile Rolls across the night It seeks to know what is wrong And the thing is you I'm my mind there is a place That only I can control Your misery will haunt me no more As Long as I'm in my own reality You will be no more I'm my mind there is a place That only I can control Your misery will haunt me no more As Long as I'm in my own reality You will be no more I'm my mind there is a place That only I can control Your misery will haunt me no more As Long as I'm in my own reality You will be no more


Details | Ballad | |

Babydoll

Trying to escape from it all I detach from reality Knowing my spirit will be Safe Too much torment have I gone through To know that this story is truly mine Cut me off no matter how much I'll always find a way To fight and survive your kingdom I'm the only thing you desire I'm the only thing you hate I'm the only thing you need I'm you little Babydoll In my mind there is a haven Only I can enter, but everyone else is there Its there I will find a new tactic To keep on living in your torment On the way home I'll die a few times But just to know I really lived I'll have to find a new way to bleed If I want to escape I'll have to loose myself Cut me off no matter how much I'll always find a way To fight and survive your kingdom I'm the only thing you desire I'm the only thing you hate I'm the only thing you need I'm you little Babydoll Cut me off no matter how much I'll always find a way To fight and survive your kingdom I'm the only thing you desire I'm the only thing you hate I'm the only thing you need I'm you little Babydoll


Details | Ballad | |

sometimes they dont come back;

america;a white homeless man found in a ditch;by interstate
35 south and feeder road;of austin,texas;some times they
really dont come back;but what if it was me;would it
then;my freind;or would have to be to mean some thing
with the color of my white poor dirty skin;what if i
norma jay bertrand the writer4386/was ran over
would you call it an accident;when i seen this man
thats what texas investigators are calling it;what
a coincidence;two years earlier a black women
did the same in dallas and got away with it;since
a mexican women hit him;says she thought it 
was a deer;america we have a problem then;
same investigators says we walk all over the 
place like that;really like he dosent;like we dont
exist;or blend;yet we are no different than youre
only poor and no home to live in;sometimes we 
are only ghosts of your past by chance no one 
cares to help or look out for;


Details | Ballad | |

Relief please!

When people ask me of my religion, I say I am atheist in a demand of tolerance
And in the case of much too many, they never fail to show me their intolerance.
They've been programmed; dogmatic ideas now dominate their existence.
But even through the immense negativity, I continue to channel persistence.
I feel the need to provoke thought, to encourage those programmed to ask questions.
But I am prone to grim defeat from the programmers.

Help me, help me!
I cannot conform to these beliefs that leave all in fearful devotion.
There is no free will; the consequences are to burn.
I don't want to fight, I want to liberate and show how much knowledge there is to learn.
But I am prone to grim defeat from the programmers.

I just want to live in a world of peace.
Relieved of ancient, negative teachings; a perfect release.
Someday I will, I do believe.  I'm waiting for the white light.
But I must fulfill my destiny, experience, and fight with all my might.
Mother God, Father God, watch me!
And don't let me be prone to grim defeat from the programmers.


Details | Ballad | |

eyes

searching all around me
a place to hide
the walls are closing on me
leaving no place for mistakes
my heart is pounding loudly
thou there is no noise
no steps to quicken my pace
thou i do anyways
i try to disspear
but i am always found
they eyes that would take me to a fantasy kabd
has now left me there
and has gone away
i am lost in his eyes
they watch me move
watch me breath my last breath
watch me plead and pray
watch me fall
watch me die
watch me right inside your eyes


Details | Ballad | |

stop time

you turned your back
left my world
kknowing i was broken
thou that was yoru plan
broke my clock
telling me that time is done
your love for me is gone
i am only a memory now
a memory you will try to canish
fill my spot with another gal
i wasnt your dream
i wasnt your life
i was just a girl
who you can stop time


Details | Ballad | |

Aquarian Dream II- Leaving Kali Yuga

A glimpse in your gilded eyes Tells me all inside your lieing mind How can you Stand without a spine How can you speak without a will Failed to announce the pain Will they realize the illusion Is it all to late? The lies that are so common Have put up a delusion Infront Of the people's mind So deep away from the dark Will we come when father is coming For us, is it all to late? Soft little messenger I dare you to spread the word About our dying world All come far and near Listen to what we have been waiting to hear The walls have broken down The gates have been breached The Keep stormed in Praise and sing They have killed our king Our conformity is on it's last day All Black Skies have been tainted with grey Our flags are now just tinder The palace has all been burned to cinders Our Empire has fell Praise and sing They have killed our king I see the light of a dawning Age Let a new era begin An Aquarian dream a day where we are all free Inside our minds; our hidden refuge But there's no need to hide perfection Concordia shall be our queen Justice, independence, liberty are our only virtues free to be whoever our heart let's us be Go to the tower, strike the bell Soft little messenger And tell of Victory All come far and near Listen to what we have been waiting to hear The walls have broken down The gates have been breached The Keep stormed in Praise and sing They have killed our king Our conformity is on it's last day All Black Skies have been tainted with grey Our flags are now just tinder The palace has all been burned to cinders Our Empire has fell Praise and sing They have killed our king All come far and near Listen to what we have been waiting to hear The walls have broken down The gates have been breached The Keep stormed in Praise and sing They have killed our king Our conformity is on it's last day All Black Skies have been tainetd with grey Our flags are now just tinder The palace has all been burned to cinders Our Empire has fell Praise and sing They have killed our king


Details | Ballad | |

China the Red Plague

Earth, water, fire, metal, and sky...
pummeled to submission.
Refuse and decay, side by side,
ground into submission.

Once pristine mountains ranged high;
Mongols in ascension
riding beneath the starry skies,
now, whipped into submission.

Wild rivers now hemmed, tortured, bound;
green trees, now sickened, brown;
all bare, and skeletal, background;
beneath soot filled skies, fouled.

All the grandeur now gone sighs
ground into submission.
for Mao’s legacy cry,
no course but submission.


Details | Ballad | |

Aids Awareness

Ten years later, I didn't think I'd be here
Sitting in the corner, still wiping y tears
How your past comes back to haunt you
How your mistakes come back to hurt you
I was young and in love, promised many things
I had no one, he took me under his wings
Showed me a world I have never seen
He told me that he's never been with anyone
This will be his very first time, I smiled
Joy filled my heart, it was my first time too
I was on cloud nine, nothing could bring me down
Until he decided to stop coming around
I started to hear a lot of things, people started talking
I found out he's been around the block a time or two
But even after all this, I didn't question
Whether or not it was time to go get tested
Four months down the line and my belly started growing
I went to the doctor and he told me I was pregnant
Even so I still didn't want to go get tested
It wasn't until my ninth month that something clicked
It was my responsibility as a mother to go get checked
And I did and it made me feel proud
Until the doctor called and told me to sit down
It seems I have HIV and on top of that
Three other girls, who have been with him have the same disease
But my curse has a blessing, god spared my daughter
Her blood is clear of the disease, she doesn't have HIV
But here I am, ten years later, sitting in my room
Getting sicker as each day passes, there's no cure for this disease
I carry a great burden, my heart is full of pain
Who will take care of my little girl when i'm no longer here, 
How I wish I used a condom, I should have asked questions
I should have been patient and waited, until I got the answers
But I was in love and allowed my flesh to do the talking
If you think your mistakes don't bother the people around you
Your wrong and confused, they feel your pain too
If there is one thing I can say, to bring forth a better day
Don't wait, don't delay, go and get tested today
If you don't know nothing about the disease, get some information
It's available everwhere, It's right there for you to see
It's not stupid, it's the smart thing to do
Don't wait till it's too late
Don't wait until it happens to you




Details | Ballad | |

shattered

How shall I continue into the world?
The pains
The suffers    
The confusion 
And the heartache
If you leave this world…
Leave me
Then how will I know right from wrong?
Or have those perfect moments
You can simply say the words
“I love you”
Though when you’re gone
The words are nothing but a memory
Your trace is forever lost
And my love for you
Shall be shattered






Details | Ballad | |

Rising from the Ashes.

I'm sitting here in this room
these four walls are closing in.
All i do is sit and think
about the things that might have been.
What could I've done,
what should I've done
to change the ending to this story?
what could i do,
what i should do
so this pain does not destroy?
i fall. 
I pray.
I beg forgiveness.
I stand. 
I rise. 
I feel God's presence.
I'm cleansed.
I'm free.
I am a new creation.
All these feelings rising inside, 
love, trust, happiness, pure elation.
The old me burns away,
the new me rises out.
Each and every step ordained by God Himself without a doubt.
He made me in His image of this I'm sure,
and I make a declaration today,
with a heart that's true and pure.
To do God's will and praise His name in everything I do,
and because of His love I will never be the same,
nor would I want to.
To continue on the path that i was following would be foolish and unwise,
so here i go one foot in front of the other,
and from these ashes I will rise.


Details | Ballad | |

Forsaken Eurydice

[Satyr]
A quick game is all it will be
I can tell you can hear my shouts and screams from forest 
Your home it beckons thee
Why won't you come and play with me?
 
Why cant you cure her?
The venom isn't too deep
If you could awaken her once
Cant you do it again
 Did sorrow blind you?
 
 [Orpheus] 
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee
Why I not could listen to the dread king
All the life to you I could bring
I had to look back with eyes of dismay
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee 
Music no more will there be 
For I have forsaken my Eurydice 
 
 [Persophone] 
He will never listen 
No is all you will hear
Death is always the killer of love
Death will always win
 
 [Hades] 
Go back to your kingdom
My words have been proclaimed
Your music will not be able to charm
 
 [Persophone] 
Why don't you please
Give him his love
He went this far in vainI
f he cannot see her blank face
Wont why you please
 
  [Orpheus]
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee
Why I not could listen to the dread king
All the life to you I could bring
I had to look back with eyes of dismay
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee 
Music no more will there be
 For I have forsaken my Eurydice
 
 [Hades]
If it will please
You can see her
Only without your eyes
Throughout the dark realm
Looking back will forsaken your Eurydice
 
  [Orpheus]
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee
Why I not could listen to the dread king
All the life to you I could bring
I had to look back with eyes of dismay
Eurydice Eurydice how mortal death has forsaken thee 
Music no more will there be
 For I have forsaken my Eurydice


Details | Ballad | |

Oh God I Cant Do This

It's been so long since that day changed my life and darkened everything around 
me I relive all the time minute by minute cant go with out crying I find my self 
wanting to call you until I remember I reach up as high as I can with my arms so 
wide It just aint right to still be here with out you near me, I'll say it clear while I 
hold back tears I feel so helpless some days I dont think I can live through this 
oh god I cant do this. So many plans we envisioned about growing up and 
getting old what promise the future hold, I tried so hard to run away from that day 
because I just didnt know what to say still to this day I feel so helpless some 
days I just dont think I can live through this oh god I cant do this. Contemplate 
visting your grave after all these years with so many fears I cant bare I hope you 
understand all this just was'nt part of the plan I feel so helpless some days I just 
dont think I can live like this oh god I cant do this. What I would'nt give for one day 
with you to tell you how much I love you it was a blast the times we had from little 
kids so close to adults I'm totally lost I find strength in memories of you and me 
but its not enough to calm the hurt, I feel so helpless some days I just dont think I 
can live like this oh god I cant do this I feel so helpless everything has changed 
I'm not the same as day's go bye can I get through this your truly missed oh god I 
cant do this oh god I cant do this.


Details | Ballad | |

Moving on by pretending it never happened

That night I left I was totally sure
I was happy we wouldn't’t argue anymore


Checking my e-mails just to see your name


Reflections in water are blurred and distorted
My mind is no different with happiness retorted


Checking my e-mails just to see your name


The water of my emotions runs clear
There is nothing to taint the memories I hold dear


Checking my e-mails just to see your name


But that’s not true what about the lies and fights
I wish I could hate you and stop imagining this saint

Its time to move on
Delete out box, in box and unsent


Details | Ballad | |

Never Enough

I knew in my heart we were no longer one
It was less than a year and you were already done
We were new parents with a little girl
I assumed we would be priorities in your world
You had other plans unknown to me
My husband no longer belonged just to me
I tried and I cried all that I could
I prayed for you to do what you should
I don't understand why I wasn't enough for you?
Or why this marriage was so tough for you?
We dreamed out loud our future together
We made vows with tears and promised forever
Remember the times you swore you would change?
Then whose life was it that got rearranged?
I begged for counseling right from the start
You gave your word then took no part
I look back and I see all the fighting and crying
It could've been better had you really been trying
How many times did you ask me for space?
And say "don't sweat me, get out of my face"
Then you smile and say what I want to hear
Becoming a better liar with every single tear
Your words say so much but actions speak less
You play with my head and leave my emotions a mess


Details | Ballad | |

the past

You say im living in the past ,
So bad i cant let go,
But you keep repeating the past,
That we both know.

You tell me things that you know you cant do,
Like a fool i start to believe,
Only to be let down again,
With excuses that are seldom new.

If i complain to you , you say,
Stop living in the past,
But little do u know, it was just yesterday,
How could you forget so fast.

Yes people tell me things you do,
That make me want to leave,
But here i am writing this poem,
Deep down i still believe.

You say the things they tell me,
Are mean and untrue.
But faced with the truth,
You want to start a new.

So we start all over again,
Saying we will be true,
I think by now we both agree,
It all comes down to you.

You say your not the only one ,
Who has to take the blame.
But im here most of the time,
Can you say the same?

I could write a book on your misforturne,
Your reasons and excuses.
For why you cant be here,
It would be to abuseive.


Details | Ballad | |

Blue Eyed Devil

The devil  has blue eyes,with a smile to melt a heart.
look alittle deeper my friend, she'll rip you apart.
She knows exactly what she's doing,she laughs and makes you cry.
She'll never be your friend, no matter how you try.
She uses people, and tosses them away.
She uses her babes as tools, every single day.
"Why do you do it, Mrs Sweetness and light?"
Don't you realize "Karma" comes with a bite?
I don't envy you, not one little mity.
I don't hate you, you just have my pity.
For one day the babes will see,just what you do.
They'll run away in heart, far away from you.
You'll always have their love, no matter who you use.
But soon you'll not fool them, with your little ruse.
So cry your gater tears, to everyones appeal.
Eyes are windows to the soul, I see you for real.



Details | Ballad | |

your call

i know the voices that you're after
standing in the cold waiting for u to come
share with me the secrets you never told
all the places that i'm going and leaving from
carring on through the past that i'm trying to escape


i'm here waiting by the phone to get a call from you
looking for a breakthrough
so i can talk to u
i've waited all night for your call

losing my mind over what happened the other night
why do i need to stop her from going overboard
turning off the lights there is nothing but fright
as i stand aside from the fireplace lookinh sober
tonight it's over

i'm here waiting by the phone to get a call from you
looking for a breakthrough
so i can talk to u
i've waited all night for your call

i'm trying to be sincere to your feelings to see what is inside
it's time to recognize the decisions we're making this night
no one is insight
do u have a plan to escape from this place

i'm here waiting by the phone to get a call from you
looking for a breakthrough
so i can talk to u
i've waited all night for your call


Details | Ballad | |

The Way You Stall And Cover

Why would you...
    Pull the plug
    Cut the chord
    Hang the harp
    [or] Bend the board
Sometimes it's best to just let things fall as they may

The wind is cutting life a knife through my fingers
I could have taken a hint just the same
But to take this as one is simply insane
I've only got a block or two 'til I get somewhere familiar

They call this part of downtown
The vampire's lair
Seeing as nothing even breathes until there's no sign of the sun

So I cross the street to my favorite spot
Find the darkest booth and begin to talk
To these blank pages
With words of ink
And like everything else, I let this rot and falter
Because sometimes it takes
More than a whisper.......to change

I make my way outside and head up the street
I can hear some friends I intended to meet
And we talked for what seemed like forever
About politics and people and whatever
And then we split our tab
And we split our paths
They head for the lot
And I begin to walk

Only two more hours until I sink into my bed
But don't forget me or the things I may have said
Because somewhere there's something that someone has summed up
And that somewhere is calling for you


Details | Ballad | |

Old Woman (true tale)

"once i looked up to see
a woman join eternity,
an old woman,
so sick of oldness,
aloneness
lack of direction,
lack of hope,
lack of love,
lack of faith...
so tired 
of the pain
and the horror
of another day
decided today was
to be her last day
on a late date
May, 1969
she breathed for her
last time
I watched in horror,
when she stood 
on the ledge
a moments hesitation
before she finalized
her life
and she jumped
to her end
and I walked
a bit sadder
to see what
life can bring
what pain, 
what undeserved agony,

what could I do?
it was already
too late,
she was gone,
to be with those
she's so long
waited to see again.


Details | Ballad | |

The Autumn

I often watch the leaves blow by,
And feel the autumn winds sweep me away. I try so hard not to cry,
The beauty of time just flying by.
I close my eyes and smell the sweet air,
Utter beauty with just a touch of despair,
Oh the years have grown in age,
The years disappearing white to gray.
Am I truly ready for life to begin,
What if I fail or fall or cant swim,
In the pressures of true life?
These are the times I will always remember,
My mind flowing freely like burning embers.
Wrapped up by love all the time,
Reminding me that my long lost love is finally mine.
But those strong feelings I always get,
As I lye awake on my bed,
Why wont my mind just take a rest?
I guess what they say will still haunt me.
Why am I the object of their aggression?
Diminishing my only piece of sanity left.
I just try to ignore these inhuman feelings,
And focus on things with true meaning,
Love for one will always be there,
Whether I’m frightened, angry, apathetic or scared.
Oh beautiful seasons just take me away,
Send your messengers who have fallen from grace.
Wrap me up with your entangling vines,
Shelter me from these things so unkind.
Hold me back from self-destruction,
For only my life has just begun.


Details | Ballad | |

Missing Something

						
		"Missing Something"




It may seem That I've got it all together
A heart of stone, nothing's gonns break my stride
But if you look a little closer 
You'll see I'm crying out inside

I've got a good life and I can't complain
I've been a lot of places, I've seen some things
But something is missing, I can't explain
I just keep it here deep down inside

Yeah I got a nice car and a pretty house
But I'm the only one here, what's that about
And I got money, I can do whatever I want
But's what the sense, there's no friends, I'd rather go without

People say that you can't buy love
I believe this to be true
Because no matter how much money I have
It'll never bring me truth

I am in solitude, have been for years
I isolate myself so you won't see my tears
Showing my pride while I hide my fears
I've been suffering for so many years

So the next time you see me
Give me a great big hug
Because even if I don't show it
I need some love most of all


Details | Ballad | |

Rocky

Rocky, Rocky
Longed to be a jockey,
But poor Rocky,
Was far too stocky,

More muscles than the horse,
Eliminated him of course,

He tried to slim down,
To win the Derby Crown,
But failed at this,
And was destined to miss,
The goal he sought so bad,

He watched from Kentucky Downs,
With naught but frowns,
And angered that,
Those little clowns,

Had the job he did covet
And they did not love it,
For each of them, it seems,
Wanted to be a muscleman,
That was their fondest dreams.


Details | Ballad | |

Broken Hearts Bar

This is the place where they come to escape the stress in their lives 
A lot is from their husbands and wives 
This place gives them a lift 
The regulars start swooping in at 10 am from a long night shift 
At one time or another, everyone hurts and bears some kind of painful scars 
You can find all kinds of emotional burden here at the Broken Hearts Bar 
The doctors, the suits, the welders, we get them all 
Others escape by attempting to crank out a tune on the piano facing the west wall 
After a few drinks, everybody starts feeling well 
The alcohol numbs and strips away our protective shell 
Everyone enjoys talent night, it makes them feel good 
Distorted by the liquid courage, they believe this is their ticket to Hollywood 
A taxi driver of 23 years, complains about his back 
He has his pain killers with a double shot of Jack 
There is always a place for my down and out guests 
I lend an ear and allow them to get it off their chest 
The winners and losers come here because they are accepted for who they are 
Everyone is welcomed to the city's center of depression, the Broken Hearts Bar 
George tells me tonight he will be visiting for the last time 
He says this every night right around nine 
George takes a moment to reflect on the troubles of his past 
He tells me it's true, nice guys finish last 
So long, my time is near 
I will become a nobody and disappear 
He tells all his friends to keep reaching for the stars 
I smile and tell him, there is always a stool for you at the Broken Hearts Bar 
Yeah, I know here the door swing in and out 
I thought maybe at the bottom of one my drinks I would discover what life is all 
about 
The emotion in the air is thick like tar 
Please come again to the Broken Hearts bar 


Details | Ballad | |

im never right

Its like when i wanna do right 

i seem to do wrong

then when i try to do wrong 

i still am wrong

and when i try to do right

i wind up doing wrong

and when i try to do wrong 

im still not right 

so please tell me what im supposed to do in life


Details | Ballad | |

ALL OF YOU

So hard
you 
fell                                                                                                                                              
I  could never pick up
All the pieces
To make you whole
I gathered all
That was left
Blew softly
and kissed
Each piece
As though it were your soul
I cannot put it all
Back
I can, but try
I could never stop
Your fall
All the pieces too
That I found
What I gathered
Kissed
To make whole
All of you