It seems like so many years I’ve lived
The warmth of a man’s embrace
How did I fall so far behind?
Man who entered, then left my life made it difficult for me to
Open the door to love again
Overcome with fears of rejection, I’m ready to open that
Door once more
Feelings of loneliness follow me
On a plain of solitude I’ve dwelt
Romance seems to elude me, but
Love I recall from the past helps me
Overcome the sadness
Vicariously, I’ve lived through the
Eyes of women in romance novels
And when I ask myself if I’m ready, I just say,
Go for it girl!
Aging in solitude
Not the path I choose
*Written May 14, 2014
P aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
Where is thy heart supposed to go for healing, When all of world comes crashing down around you. Leaving you with nothing but lost feelings.
Wondering aimlessly around looking for some glimpse of happiness.
Searching what's left of the heart for hope that love will live again. Watching the love you have fade away slowly. Leaving a trail of tears.
Waking up everyday trying to put on a smile while falling apart inside.
Not knowing where to go or who to ask for help to save what's left of thy heart. Only praying to God that your life will end soon. So all the pain well be gone forever. Finally leaving you in peace.
Minding your own business,
In the sea.
Along came a ship,
To kill me.
They’ve chased my father and my mum,
They’ve killed my grandparents,
And their son.
These little people,
Who carry a gun.
Are totally committed to killing my son.
They don’t seem to fear,
No matter how fast I Run,
I can’t get away from that gun.
I should go lower into the sea,
2 miles deep ,out of their reach..
But I don’t Dive Dive Dive,
I’m not a sub, in the sea,
I’m an animal life and should be left be.
I don’t have missles upon my back,
Or torpedos , to shoot back.
I can’t defend and I can’t attack,
I don’t even want to fight back.
I may as well wait here, to get shot in the head.
And my flesh stripped, from my body in strips.
I don’t know why I have to die,
My son and my, sister and my mum, all died under this same gun.
In to breach goes a round now just darkness and no sound.
Now I’m on their ship,
Knives and scalpels take me to bits.
Now theres nothing left of me
Just this poem I leave for thee.
Braver is the lonely one
Rare it is to see the sun
All is played inside a home
Vast is sleep; he sleeps alone
Eerieness, the air is felt
Random thoughts indulge lost help
Inner child has been so grown
Slowly knowing death's a throne
Time is numbing to his mine
Hands are aging; thumbing lines
East is near, but West he wants
Lonely is the braver one
Ode to me!: he thinks a many
None to which he thinks a plenty
Every word is to himself
Lays awake to sleep his yelps
Youth has seen how time is felt
One is braving the lonely
Never knowing if he'd just...
East and West become his only...
Lies within oneself take a toll on the spirit.
Our minds degrade us, takes away any merit.
Never do we realize the loneliness we shape.
Eventually we blame others, with solitudes rape.
Lack of love for us, others, takes control.
I have seen sadness, rip up others soul.
Never underestimate the voices you may hear.
Each of us hears, some do not let them steer.
Sadness can become a disease, within a heart.
Solitude can be destroyed, right from the start.
Chiseled face from Cliffs of Moher
On Keyboard slender fingers prance
Mastery, knowledge daily Growing
Lonely for so many years
Inner world you do embrace
Meticulous diary for keep
Enya Brennan;s eyes enriched with glow
Noting if those are worth
Through numerous heaps
Yes they have their university degrees and wealthy accounts, but they are not yours. darling....
They don’t know you too,
How to please you that is.... and you please them, its rules..
You ask for a dance in the rain and they give you some laime
story of why and no, and maybe so
And who they used to be way back when they where young,
In your admiration for them you wait in faith for a kiss on the cheek, but you got none
They ask you instead if you wanted onions or leeks in this receipe….
Then suddenly your mind goes a drfit like a wodden small boat by the lake
You are thinking about her again, who you never met.
You have been introduced to women,
others but they seem so ruff for my delicate body.
She needs to be soft and be blushed when she see me
She wont think selfishly about herself, it will be about us.
Even when folding lundry and enhaling the scents of lavendar will
lt be insanly passion and a joy
It will be a peak of heaven….
The lints will fall from the clothes freshly done.. and you will see them fall like angels from heaven, in the ray of light, light cracking through the curtains.
She thinks by biting her buttom lip and leaving it wet, unmindfully... I leave her alone to be herself.
The delight to hear her laugh and scream with excitement and happiness
Of just being around me. Makes me feel complete
Her scent of sun dried clothes, her cotton breast holders, her panty with a hole
Im laughing because she is frustrated that she has ruined the perfect dinner
That I love..... and it's okay, but not for her...
She is sick now and I am worried that she will be gone.!!!!!! and she brushs my awful hair, so dry. And short and poorly cut,,,,,,
and she whispers and say don’t worry…….
I hate her for that, don’t worry, I hated her for saying that…
Our love was for life and not for sex, it was sensual.
Now I am here alone and I cant find her, did she stay in another life or is she here
I cant find her…
Is she back as a man or a women
I need you! For us to complete why were are here.
Just try and find me, im trying to find you.
Darling we write and we travel they are one in the same. please find me!
Sea swells lost my memoirs of HER
Under waves to caustic mire and murk’s DESIRE
Never to be seen again, that’s how it IS
Kegs of rum float up though, through ghostly grays, FOR
Eternity which finally released them, but not MY
Note book and papers of my lost LOVE
Terrible things are in the underworld DEEP
Real emptiness and pain score my lonely FEELINGS
Ethereal measures from sea and storm EMERGE
Arise from hidden secret depths, WITH
Treasures of my sweet wife, love mementos as I wait to see, THE
Summoned property that was buried beneath the WAVES
So. . . we're losing once more
And... what should I say
Drenched in silence - now I found the words to write