Wind that I pass poisons air with one blow
It stinks to the moon, stays 'til the morrow
Nonchalant, nearly blue, frown on my brow
Don't hold it; Farting is such sweet sorrow. 1
1. A play on Shakespeare's famous line, Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 2.
2. While I do not wish to offend the fine sensibilities of our more delicate poets, most of us are familiar with the The Bard’s propensity to include references to farting in his plays. To name a few:
Comedy of Errors: Scene I; Two Gentlemen of Verona: Scene IV; and Henry IV: Part I
24 October, 2015
Wind, Snow or Rain Acrostrain
Sponsor: Jan Allison
Copyright © Kim Patrice Nunez
Clean your house from top to bottom – any other chores you want me to do?
A cup of steaming coffee is ready – I know you just love your brew
So you want me to get the shopping – I’ll have it right on cue
Anything special you require, I’ll pay and have it delivered to you
Run your bath – no problem, I’ll put some bubbles in it too
And my babysitting service is free – no dollar spends are due
Have a wonderful meal out with Tom, a treat for you is overdue
No problem what time you return – I’ll bid you both adieu
Abby will be fine, I’ve written a story for her about a kangaroo
Now remember I’ve paid for the taxi and your meal - it's cordon blue
Contest – what contest! As if I’m trying to influence you ...
Even a honourable mention will do!
You want it bad – then bribe me contest
Sponsor Casarah Nance
Copyright © JAN ALLISON
Headline news lead bleeds
Accidental haiku death
Killed by tainted verse
Attracts curious reader
Reaction resulted in
Death of some poor schmuck
Industry spokes folks
Stay away from words
Copyright © Jaey Peele
Cookies are addictive!
OoOoH! Here's one to snatch!
Okay...where's the chocolate chips?
Kraving too many of these treats
I want some now! But...I might get beeefy...
Every bite is mouthwatering, soft and crisp
Should I take another cookie?
Copyright © J. W. Earnings
Sense of humour, elevating our spirits
Musing over the simple things in life, rejoicing at what we find
Imagination stimulated, childlike, seeing the wonders in life
Light heartedness, laughing at one’s self!
Everything as it is meant to be, smiling, enjoying, the gift of life
Copyright © Amy Rose
Lots of people out shopping
All looking for that special gift
Carrier bags bulging
Keep an eye on the spending
Riots break out
I got the LAST one
Don’t ever want to go shopping again
All I want is to go home
Yipee ... only 365 days till we do it all over again!!!
27th November 2014
Copyright © JAN ALLISON
P aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
Copyright © Dan Keir
N othing should obscure what nature did intend
U nfortunately on clothes most of us do depend
D ivine is how I feel when I'm in the buff
E nraged are the prudes that don't, that gets them in a huff.
For Andrea Dietrich's Four-Letter Words: An Acrostic Challenge
Copyright © Cecilia Macfarlane
Universal in high-school theater groups-
Final call from their coach, “Kids, go break a leg!”
Overanxious blonde runs to get the cast.
Copyright © Reason A. Poteet
Beautiful lady with bosoms so large
Always on show, for men’s eyes to admire
Walks with a sway, hands on hips, just to send
Desire through the veins of the eye bulging men.
Years of practice, this "lady" has it down to a fine art.
Copyright © SEREN ROBERTS
Maybe G_d was tired when he enlivened Adam first
Who would organize the world so full of stuff--
No man can find his keys without a woman toting purse
Victoria Anderson-Throop (c)2013
Copyright © Victoria Anderson-Throop
Laughter is a true medicine
Artful mood changing dietician
Universal umpire of fun
Gigantic pain reducing gun
Heaving hearty hullabaloo
Tombstones stress to Kalamazoo
Engineers relationship glue
Real flavor boost for life's fondue.
Copyright © Faye Gibson
So thoughtfully planted, these treats for your sight
Long awaited blooms rising up to the light
Under your care as they thrive poised in the sun
Gorgeous petals admired one-by-one
Beckoning those who should happen upon them
As the slow and sly grasp roots for ascension
In expectation of the coming reward for their hikes
Thanks left in slime for the delectable bites.
Written on 03/21/2013 for Garden Contest
Copyright © SM Koval
The city the town the village approximately the ice age erase the
texts sentsum track track it back to the diamond in the back suite
case for the most fit it I’m waiting on the replay
Time tick replay clock out check out my melody
Post hold no time to keep rewinding take this for instincts place
among the stars Crown Jewelry no Lexs could hold the hand of the
If all was broken reform the glass open your eyes we are all
together “eyes of angel”
Every day is a stroll to hold on keep holding on all is well
hat tricks played no avenue no gamble no rush and idea my good
mate decafee of a afternoon breezy "let me paint the picture"
Release and form nothing but nets
How would one welcome the weather?
Ever been sick before laryngitis bronchitis is there a such thing
call hassle flu maybe
If this is just love sick retrack the steps like the tracks of a
all is all two well perhaps
If hell was a passing of a gate make a U turn were going in the
if love was forbidden tent the windows
Turn up the volume dearest what track are we on let our love take
it higher lights
out fuel to a breaker distance as a star we moving through ever
avenue who knew yearbook session
had a class for classmates when the last time you seen me take a
Maybe one day I will wait to ask the question why do they have
class reunions why wait that long?
Late for class but early on graduation was I a fool "somebody clue
me in" and if
The time for availability is pessimist welcome to the real world
but for you if waiting by the phone
and if is old fashion can I put on a throwback song for you back in the
Hungry what could push me through the stormy weather
When is lunch? Not a clue when is practice have you not ateing
Are we practicing in the rain?
We practicing in this heat what about the index?
I guess I will wait in till I get back home to get some food matter
of fact when is Momma getting home?
“I got sisters”
I think I have caught my second wind
Back In The Day
Borgo Baby! ! !
Copyright © Louis Borgo
Jugs of an INORDINATE size
I can't help but lOOk at them
Giggles escape from my lips
Grapefruit like in shape
Lively like bounce
In my face
Copyright © Richard Lamoureux
8 is a good age~no cares~no worries
3 added beside that eight~83~well could be different
H ealth issues, heart issues, hurt issues
W ell this was just a start
Copyright © Sara Kendrick
FROM SLAVES TO GLOBAL SLAVERS
In the wonderful USA they celebrate the 4th of July
Normally this would be a time of such fun....But...
Due to American global policies , that harm the weak
Every Nation bar one distrusts “the star spangled Banner”
Perhaps it is Ironic , that the USA`s only true ally today is
England, a country that historically enslaved a nation.......
Not one to be conquered , the Americans fought back
Death of many in battle , created an independence
Every man took up arms and repelled the enslavers
Now to commemorate this fine achievement annualy
Copious amounts of Burgers , Fireworks and parties
Exact their toll on a nation Bursting at the proverbial seams
Copyright © Ian Guyler
I was waliking by our's late one Saturday night,when I bumps into Satan I was out scorin' white*,
So I say's,"Now then fella,What's up with ya face?Cause of fire 'n' brimstone I can't find a trace,
Well I've heard all the rumours,I've heard all the hype,but ya seem like a nice lad,D'ya fancy a pipe?
Well he glanced at me briefly then Satan did say,"can ya get me some tackle,top sh*t 'n' class 'A'?
So I told him he'd have to hand over the dough,if some fella with horns tries to score they'll say no,
And thesen dealers don't deal with outsiders [that's best],especially when with pitch-fork and hooves they be blessed,
So I left him stood waiting and what a mistake,when my dealer turned up oing right off his cake,
"F*ckin' hell girl"he said,"What've I told you before?Fckin' swerve all these cranks you keep bringin' to score,
well ya no longer blonde,but ya still f*ckin' dizzy,how'd ya know that that fella's not a snitch or a bizzy?
Well | got all the knowledge straiht from the top shelf,that's no plod ya daft tw*t that's the Devil himself,
[That was six months ago,the poor c*nt ain't looked back,only Julie-ann Jones could get satan on \Crack.
Copyright © julie-ann jones