Elegy to Child Lost
Passion's love oft tempts despair
Casts a prideful cosmic dare--
Like Prizing Joy's most intimate caress
Babe snug beneath a mother's breast
Senses at this time are keen
There's no secret kept between
Loving mother, wriggling babe--
Wanted , dreamed of, much delayed
But entwined twin was also loved--
Some say Nature's method proves
That one twin may give all to mate---
But this fatal sacrifice must decimate.
Only mother's eyes would feel babe's smiles--
or sense those legs that wandered miles
And daring feet that danced in tunes while
Arms swam in gentle Celtic croons.
When babe vanished--not a sound.
Mother 's grief was not allowed.
Tempted so to trail behind
Escaping shattered troubled mind.
Squelching sorrow's hungry arms
She Tried erase babe's fluttering charms
Never spoke of-- never mourned.
By her husband she was warned
Was best forget a child so early lost--
Funerals, gravestones--such a cost--
But the years have called babe near,
Mother's journal writ in tears:
'Please forgive my selfish heart.
Repressed from all --this tragic part
I felt your sacrificial act--
You left your cherished twin intact'.
There is no law of random acts
Doctors examine data facts
It may be --that in the womb
When both spring flowers cannot bloom
One bold twin refrains to eat
Compels the other to complete
Hardy growth that life requires---
Sparks survival's crucial hours.
Not an accident 'tis sure--
Boldest spirits blossom pure.
Victoria Anderson-Throop ©
quick! grab the soft rose
your hand now aching, bloodied
life's dream isn't always what it suddenly seems in ice cream's melted hope
not when a yearning man is twisted; turning, churning curdles sweet milk sour
carnal captivity, the new little girl's horror, where slavery spreads her legs
life's little trick, survivals mindless instinct, plays it's vicious, ace in the heart card
a zygote's military resolve
an embryo doesn't consider
precious life somehow swims forth in a plastic, kiddie plunge
the wet nurse has no degree, but life hangs, by an umbilical balance
dreams are reality thwarted by circumstance
time bides, love does not divide, it grows feral strong with fowl gazes ever watching
forced sharing, twisted family time, memories remain, an anchor in deepest abyss
forward, for a daughter's faint, possible, distant. infinitely small, maybe someday
light, a pinprick, blind chance, endured, survived, conquered with love alone, hero
"You've been looking for me;
Hurry, I'm free now!"
What sort of a mother am I
Who cannot even count
the innumerable bullet wounds
spread all over the delicate body
of her beloved child
However, day and night
I keep counting
the myriad of marks
left by the terrorists' bullets
on his school bag;
I will also keep counting
the innumerable shot wounds
that spread all over
his blood-stained books and uniform as well
provided I have the luck
to live until then.
(translation by mazHur Butt)
STA PA BADAN K DA GOLO NAKHO TA,
CHA HADO PRE NAKHODAM
CHE MA SHMARALLY KHO WAY
STA PA BASTA K DA GOLO NAKHY HUM KHEY DERY WAY
ZEH TOLA WRAZ YE SHMARAM
STA KITABUNO AU KAPO K NAKHY
HAGHA BA HUM SHMARAMA
KHO K JWANDAI PATY SHOM
( Pa 16,December da yo shaheed bachi da Mor sanda)
16 December ko shahadat pany waly aik Bachy ki Maan ka Nooha..
Mein kesi maa'n hoo'n
goliyoan ke nishaan
jism nazuk per tere
ay meri aankh ke taaray
gin-nay ka izn
mila hee nahi
haan magar shumaar karti hoon
subh o roz
tere bastay pe lage
golion ke ghaO beshumaar
tere kaproan aur kitaboan per bhi jo hein
zaalimoan kee golion ke beshumaar nishaan
tere pak khoon se labraiz
mein unhein bhi gin-na chahti hoon
aur gin hee loon gee unhein
agar zindagi ne wafa kee.
Mein Ik maa'n hoon,
(translation by mazhar butt)
I want to write
This time of that cold night
when I heard my mother cry
When I saw her lie
Flat on her belly
Her back bare and scaly
Her eyes swollen
Her right stolen
By one she called husband.
I saw the tears
I saw her fears
she sobbed between the whips
she tightly bit her lips
And tightened her hips
to swallow the pain
just for her stay.
I want to write
this time of that night
that night without stars
when I saw the scars
On her back
the scars stuck
made a permanent mark
on her back.
I want to write
I want to write
This time of my mother
write her as a victim
tortured by male chauvinism.
write her as a strong woman
Who challenged the stress of a man
Mama who raised us
so rise mama and shine
All will be fine
Mama rise and shine
All will be fine
RISE MAMA AND SHINE.
All will be fine.
I, me, I, myself,
I've become what I never thought I would
The monsters I've worked so hard to fight, are now me, I,
He put his hands on her neck
To hurt me, to scare me
But he scared her
The fear in her eyes, the tears that came running down her face will always haunt me
She was screaming, mommy help me!
I stood there terrified, I quickly agreed with him so he could put her down
I ran to her, she ran to me and we embraced each of us sobbing
Her heart beating fast like mine
Holding her tight, protecting her
Am in love, or so I think
I am so blurred with stupidity that I hurt what is mine
I can't see beyond the lies and the fears
Maybe it's the fear of being alone, being a single parent
Or the fear that am not "happily married" like most of my age mates
Or the fear, that I will be placed on the judgment bench by my culture; once married you have to take the bad and good, you have to tolerate, you shouldn't complain, it'll be a disgrace if you go back to your mother's house, stick to it, look at your mothers and learn
The umbrella of abuse has so many holes
You are always soaking wet with pain and fear
My smiley makeup that I put on everyday, has to be redone every second
It never lasts
Sometimes behind a beautiful smiley, hides abuse and violence
*Written for a friend*
You're as mean as a Grizzly Bear and you think that I'll marry you.
Get that notion out of your head because it's something I won't do.
You're so mean and vicious that you actually broke your own daughter's arm.
You injured her when you were supposed to protect her from coming to harm.
You actually believe that you and I will be man and wife.
I loathe you and I sure as hell don't want you in my life.
When you were only seventeen, you were arrested for aggravated assault.
You've spent over a decade in jail for your crimes and it's entirely your fault.
Getting your daughter put in a foster home is what I'm going to do.
Loving you would be like loving a rattlesnake and I'll never marry you.
(This is a fictional poem)