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Humorous Violence Poems | Violence Poems About Humorous

These Humorous Violence poems are examples of Violence poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Humorous Violence poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

Details | Rhyme |

PLAY-BOY 1

You know why I run game? It's 'cause I'm a player
I'm the night in shining armor, she's a dragon, I'm gon' slay her
That means when I beat it up, I'm gonna kill it
Tell her keep our business to herself, don't spill it
Can't follow directions, then it's on to the next
Hope you get the message, not talking 'bout a text

I sleep with more chicks than a night-gown

Without 'em I'm like a sentence with no noun

For those who don't know that means incomplete

It's a race to get 'em first, I gotta' compete

They wanna be on the team, tryin' to make the cut

True player, show no feelings, keep 'em in a shell, walnut

Females fill my atmosphere, they mean the world to me

I got damsels galore, it's always plural with me

Got gangs of chicks, which one should I bang

They're steady in my face, sort of like some bangs

Hate when they try to lock me down, I'm not in jail

She starts talking 'bout marriage, then I'm gonna bail

Sometimes I need my space, like a vacant lot

I hate being congested, like a nose filled with snot

Hey, stop bugging me, you startin' to act like a knat

Before you go, give me head, I need it like a hat


Details | Limerick |

Just Desserts

Thaddeus Dowdell was a right proper chap,
Who said pip pip, tally ho and the rest of that crap.
He married a young lady just as arrogant as he,
She looked down her nose at rabble such as we.
Thankfully, both were hacked to death by a crazy ninja Jap.


Details | Rhyme |

BAR NONE 1

No holds barred, utter defeat is what I see in those cards
No holds barred, utter defeat is what I see in those cards

It's a dirty world, but my heat's considered hand sanitizer

Made my dreams become reality, I'm not a big 'fanisizer'

My trap got cheese, but I'm trying to keep away rats

Life's a gamble, take a chance, like playing craps

Time to take you to school, and money's the topic

Smokin' on Jamaica helps me focus, I keep something tropic

Cash rules everything 'round me and it's in my pocket

That means I'm in control, if this was a plane, I'm in the cockpit

I'm a hustler, got more bricks than a construction site

I stay fresh, I'm flyer than a first-class flight

By any means necessary, hard times call for drastic measures

Get in my way, and get buried like pirate's treasures

Never see me fold, it's like I got the winning hand in Poker

I'm more dangerous than cancer in the lungs of a smoker

Talk crazy, catch a hook, how's that for a punchline

Show me the competition, I call that lunch-time


Details | Quintain (English) |

Coffee

Why do I drink coffee?
It always makes me poo. 
And when I smell that steaming turd, 
it makes me think of you. 

As you float there in the water, 
I like to think you’re dead. 
I pretend that I have killed you, 
that I pinched off your head. 


Details | Limerick |

Batman And Robin

(Limerick)


Batman and Robin hit the Joker
But their blow was only a croaker
The Joker hit back
But instead hit Jack
Who said "I'm glad, the Joker's an smoker!


Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000
Copyright@2014


09.16.2014


Details | Rhyme |

Murder, In The First Degree

He went to a public library that's quiet and free; 
And was arrested for murder,  in the first degree; 

Inside the library, there was a book to find, 
Slowly he approached his victim, an ol' woman who's kind; 

Close to her backside, he stood lurking behind, 
Little ol' granny was reading and paid him no mind; 

The quick use of his weapon caused her to drop dead on the spot, 
It was the eyeball witness who saw, that's how he got caught; 

The jury must now see the weapon t'was horribly used, 
But the killer tried to hide his nose and loudly refused; 

Now her death that came from his loud sharp sneeze, 
Made her heart quickly stop, quiver, and seize; 

So his hands were shackled and the murder weapon was viewed, 
The jury gasped loudly for air, outraged was their mood; 

Soon after his shnozzle was clearly depicted, 
The jury was unanimous, ... they quickly convicted.