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Violence Funny Poems | Violence Poems About Funny

These Violence Funny poems are examples of Violence poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Violence Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme | |

Voodoo Doll

There's a person you'd like to curse,
so a voodoo doll, then make first;
Upon that doll now cast a spell, 
summoned from the wicked in hell;
Now you need some pins and needles,
bring the pain of pitch forked devils;
The length of pins make sure are long,
the devils pain will be more strong;
The more a needle's thick and round,
will make the pain be more profound;
Must take your victims' lock of hair,
attach it to the doll to wear;
The doll, up high, hold in the air,
Into the doll's eyes, you must stare;
Call the doll by your victims name,
while at the doll, the needle aim;
Curse the name as you stab it in,
twisting and turn it as you grin;
With needles stuck about the head,  
each needle deeply did embed;
With legs, all over, stuck with pins, 
you now must wish the curse begins.

Copyright © Tony Sampson

Details | Limerick | |

Batman And Robin


Batman and Robin hit the Joker
But their blow was only a croaker
The Joker hit back
But instead hit Jack
Who said "I'm glad, the Joker's an smoker!

Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000


Copyright © Dorian Petersen Potter

Details | Rhyme | |

My Wife's Car Is In The Lake

I forgot to set the parking brake.
So now my wife's car is in the lake.
You're looking at a man who can never catch a break.
My wife kicked my ass just because I made a mistake.
She broke my left leg and I'm having to use a crutch.
I don't blame her for being mad but coming at me with a chainsaw is a bit too much.

(This is a fictional poem)

Copyright © randy johnson

Details | Rhyme | |


People smoke weed, or crack to ignore problems and laugh hysterically,
coffee is my drug, it's my quick pick-me-up...I say it so proudly,
because it won't harm me, hallucinate me or make me feel afraid;
I will be alive tomorrow, not crash into into a lamppost as Freddy did.

I lived through the Hippie Era: bell-bottoms...long, frizzy hair
and funny clothes the kind that clowns wear,
no offense to those who thought they were cool;
it's my opinion, not of that guy who didn't see himself as a fool!  

I had no time to protest, or vindicate the Vietnam War as Omar;
off I went to work each morning as hippies hung out by a bar
shouting at me, " Kid, stay alive...don't ever go to war! "
They ran and screamed, knocking down police barricades...horror!

Copyright © Andrew Crisci

Details | Grook | |

Constant bullshit

I'm bringing it hard like you've never 
showing you shit you won't ever 
You didn't remember now you're 
down on the pavement,
with your head split because you 
forgot our arrangement.
I have these evil intentions,
which are mixed with images too 
gruesome to mention.
I'll choke you and watch as you 
I don't care I'll leave your ass 
now listen up before your face gets 
and they're calling the corner to come 
pick up the remains.
If you're talking to me your ass will 
get hit,
you'll be crying like a baby who can't 
find the tit.
I told you once but you must not be 
Next it's going to be your grave that 
I'm pissing in.
I'll pop one in you and not feel guilty,
Looking like Dennis the Menace so 
nasty and filthy.
So I'm cracking your head back and 
trying to drill this shit into your 
cerebral core.
It's time you paid your dues and dealt 
with this bitch,
because I'm getting tired of your 
constant bullshit.

Copyright © Joan McCue

Details | Rhyme | |

Murder, In The First Degree

He went to a public library that's quiet and free; 
And was arrested for murder,  in the first degree; 

Inside the library, there was a book to find, 
Slowly he approached his victim, an ol' woman who's kind; 

Close to her backside, he stood lurking behind, 
Little ol' granny was reading and paid him no mind; 

The quick use of his weapon caused her to drop dead on the spot, 
It was the eyeball witness who saw, that's how he got caught; 

The jury must now see the weapon t'was horribly used, 
But the killer tried to hide his nose and loudly refused; 

Now her death that came from his loud sharp sneeze, 
Made her heart quickly stop, quiver, and seize; 

So his hands were shackled and the murder weapon was viewed, 
The jury gasped loudly for air, outraged was their mood; 

Soon after his shnozzle was clearly depicted, 
The jury was unanimous, ... they quickly convicted.

Copyright © Tony Sampson