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Sad Health Poems | Sad Poems About Health

These Sad Health poems are examples of Sad poems about Health. These are the best examples of Sad Health poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Epic | |

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

ONE WORD~

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, 
Running through my mind,
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, 
Running through my veins,
                                   
A silica odor, dust walks through a fresh desert night, 
Cool air beneath and above the sea.
A warm furnace smell, I don’t understand.
Intricate to rise and receive without knowing.
Up ahead in a virtue distance, 
A mysterious poisonous effluvium light-     
My face feels like a leaf'
My sun holds up its own pendulum rods. 
Inflammation comes and settles in for the night,
There it stands in a pertinacious manner, with quality.  
I resurrect this air created from madness, all over again.
Twilight, rain stranger than strange.
Visions, pursue my path into an infested dark pasture.
"From the red Heaven I fell into the waters of a cobalt Hell"

Perhaps this venerable moment, will pass slower than slow.
PERHAPS NOT!
If I accept, and then decline.
Would this balance the precocious state I live in?
How about when wrong directions follow my promiscuous ways.  
Is my conglomeration of ideas, no longer safe?	
When I no longer value the values of the young.
Will I sleep at the mercy of his ancient heart.
They're the voices give and take from our health. 

Today, those soft, perfect eyes are calling from far away,
Ashes high, vapors and infection welding me.
The bright skies swallow every thin silver line,
Where the clouds sit somehow~ in bacteria….
UNITY! 
YES UNITY! Fantabulously-fantastic!
Always, wanting more than love can touch.

We are living' it up with no alibis!
A way to be and not to BE!
The champagne leaves their cup.
Awaken in a life, disturbed ~ NOW INTERRUPT!
Only in this world, lava will reach her lips.
Prisoners and doers; 
All night…. Too late for a treatment.
Lungs, decaying, evil rats. 
Direction, affection, ending all the inhalation.

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, 
Running through my lungs,
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, 
Flat-lined my life ____/\ /\___ ___/\______/\___ _______________

By; pd


Details | Elegy | |

Angela's Right Hand

The function of a human hand?
Writing a message, making a bed,
Opening a jar, dialing a phone,
Putting on pantyhose,
Touching the face of a child,
Or a lover.

And in its absence?
Yawning space and phantom pain,
And an oddly-shaped bandage
At the end of Angie’s arm.

PFC Hernandez, home in El Paso,
Watches her family watching her,
Writing awkwardly with her left hand,
Brushing her black wavy hair,
Watching Dr. Phil
Wearing an old gray-green T-shirt
Bearing the faded words
“Proud to be a Marine.”

Gasping and choking,
She wakes from thick, dusty dreams
Of shimmering, endless sand,
Unfamiliar words
Echoing hollow with hatred,
And the feared but half expected
Roar of fiery amber heat,
Breaking the angry stillness,
Searing through the night
And Angela’s right hand.



Details | Cinquain | |

Morphine

Morphine
Bittersweet necessity
Futile screams overpowered
By warm indifferent waves
Morphine


Details | I do not know? | |

Bulimia

What started as a few times has
now turned into a habit hard to break
Everyone is now starting to see
no matter how hard I try to hide it or 
how hard I try to fake

I've tried to hide it from everyone
including my own family
I guess in fear they would think I 
was stupid or maybe even deny me

What started this issue this problem 
this disease
Knowing I will never look like the girls
on tv or the cover of magizines

Knowing when I see my reflection
I'm the furthest thing from them
From what everyone wants
what seem like "perfection"

How can I ever truly be happy with me
knowing like them I will never be
What sets us so far apart from one another
ask yourself or you will end up just like me 
all alone all by yourself

someone so miserable in this life no matter
what I try and do
Seems no matter what happens I always end
up the fool

See everytime I think I found someone that is
different I seem to find out it's not true
No man can ever only see his real love
no man can ever stay completly true

Every man has got wandering eyes
any man to tell you different is just another
man full of lies

Bulima I have learned is a mental illness a
mental disease I know sounds sick to most
Be glad this is not one of your demons to 
fight - one of your ghost


Details | Free verse | |

The Royal Curse

It afflicts king and queen alike.
Brought to the castle 
by the master of infildelity.
He moves smoothly from one to the other.
He swiftly takes them 
as is his right, he believes.
Only to have his fill
from the fair maiden 
to the sullied trollop.
He sees them all equally
in his adventures.
He spreads his curse
from one to the other.
It robs it's victims
of their eyes and senses.
Over the years, it slowly degrades
their intelligence and lives.
It can bring down the greatest Empires
if given enough time.


Details | Verse | |

This Place

In the cold depths of my barren soul,
I lay here slowly dying,
A very sad sight for one to behold,
The doctor just sits there with cold eyes and judging stares,
Oh god I'd wish he'd just say something,
That way ill know that he's really there.
My world is much different than your world,
You just couldn't possibly understand,
With stares of disgust, pointing fingers unjust,
My lifes in the hands of this man.
All these pills I must take,
To make the voices go away,
These pills they don't work,
I think im  going insane.
Silently, numbly drifting,
Drifting away to this place,
The look of utter horror,
Was the look you had on your face ,
This place is a good place, a safe place for me,
You chose it don't you remember?
A place were you cant bear to be.


Details | Free verse | |

How I Danced!

The night is cold, awaiting the early light of dawn
My body shivers, my feet like ice, I long for sleep but it does not come 
Like so many lonely hours in the darkness
The ache of my bones so cruel and relentless

Tears on my pillow, I once again slip from the warm covers
Leaving the placid breath beside me, never knowing I’ve gone
I would give so much to have the peace of slumber
The chance to dream of an earlier life, one that is gone now

Where I danced with the clouds on a warm spring day
Ran in the woods chasing butterflies or a humming bird 
The gentle breeze brushing against my skin
My soul free to be who I am, without the pain of this withering shell

Some nights I long for an end to this misery
Life has dealt such a difficult challenge
But more often, I sit in the dim light of the morning
Remembering my youth and the freedom that it gave

How I laughed in its face, knowing I would always be young
That I would always be ready to take on the world unencumbered
How naïve…and how unappreciative of the wonders of my youthful body
Pushing the limits of this fragile home to my soul, never fearing an end to my 
flight

But the dawn comes, and I bravely go on to face another day
Determined to make it the best possible
Although this life, even with it’s wicked edge, so unexpected
Arrived before I was ready to give up my wonderful dance of freedom

I rub my twisted joints, warming them near the fire
Knowing that, even through the pain there is hope
For my mind is sharp, my wit is clever 
And I may yet find joys in the brightness and warmth of this new sun

For I can still hear the birds sing their happy tunes
Watch the grandchildren’s innocent play, their melodic giggles of joy
And remember how it was not so long ago…
And how I danced! 


Details | Quatrain | |

My Torment

A fleeting still small voice tries to warn me
A sudden overwhelming desire to run
The tell tale taste of metallic flakes
Means my nightmare has begun

Everything around takes on a ghostly pallor
A landscape of anguish and corrosion
A moment of silence before the violence
The flash of light, the brilliant explosion

The sound of the Sun fills my ears
Fear, my throat, though none escapes me
And paralyzed I clench my eyes
As my tormentor prepares to rape me

And it's endeavor is absolute
Consumption is its ultimate goal
It exists to chase me so it can erase me
Whilst feasting on my soul

And then that familiar salty smell 
The sudden rush of warmth so stings
Engaging me relentlessly
In vile unspeakable things

Over and over and over again
My limbs stretched and wrought
As it's teeth tear my bones bare
It's mind defiles my thoughts

And still wounds beget wounds beget wounds
As in the mouth of madness I suffer
And with every injury he just seems to be
Rougher and rougher and rougher

Then just as suddenly as it began it ceases
And for a moment I am clearer
And then the true horror of it all
Is revealed in a darkly lit mirror

There in front of me stands my destroyer
Face flush with it's fill of my pain
And I find that it's eyes and mine
My God, they’re one in the same


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Narrative | |

Alone in a Hospital Room - An Alzheimer's Song

Don’t you remember, love, how we danced that first night;
beneath the sun’s rays, toes dipping in the cooling sand, 
to the tune of our favorite song –
with me humming the best I could – 
(I sounded terrible, but you told me I sounded divine, remember?)
while falling all over myself, and your delicate feet; 
and you, trying so hard not to laugh as I made such a fool of myself!
Did you ever think we would go 
from being love-sick teenagers dancing on the beach, 
to a couple of old-timers reminiscing 
about our best years – our long ago days together? 

Honey? 
Sweetheart, please…
If there is any part of that teenage girl 
left within that beautiful head of yours…please; 
please, just look in my eyes as you once did…
look at me, sweetheart…
Don’t you remember? 

My love, do you hear? 
They’re playing our favorite song…



*Inspired by Izzy Gumbo's Solfege Contest
I really hope I did this right! :)


Details | Free verse | |

Bill


R.I.P. William Dale Eubanks
d. July 1, 2012, aged 68 yrs., Tennessee Ridge, Tennessee

Death came as no surprise
the first Sunday in July;
it claimed you, on a ridge in Tennessee,
with kin who took you in and waited with you
through the last hard days.
You kept what fears you had well hid,
did not betray with loud complaint
the fate you could not but know awaited.
A smile, a joke, a hug – exotic meals –
And genuine interest greeted all you met.
And you were, certainly, never boring
but well-traveled and smart
beyond the telling.
We’ll miss your wit, your bright demeanor,
and will remember all you freely gave ---
and what you took from us
with your passing.


Details | Free verse | |

An Unspeakable Hurt

Sleeping in your crib, you were curled onto your side, A thumb inside your mouth, a blanket cuddled in your arm. Only 18 months old, your baby blue eyes so beautiful, How could anyone bruise you this way, your innocence lost, Who was it who hurt you like this, if only you could talk. You take a bottle from me and nuzzle into my grasp, I want to protect you from any more harm and pain, All I can do right now, is love and care for you with all I have, And give your medications that will make you strong again. So I kiss you good night and place you back in your crib, May your night be filled with good fairies and sweet dreams. Then Social Services will take you away when you are well, I only hope and pray that you will be safe now forever more. **A true story from my Nursing career working in Pediatrics. Written by Lee Ramage September 19, 2011 For Debbie Guzzi’s contest “Children” Won 8th place


Details | Imagism | |

Guilty Reflection

Looking dead at me in this smeared mirror...
a lost man
tormented
face red
brittle
and teared

stacking excuses 
the longer I stare
this stress abuses 
my conscience with a glare

a guilty reflection warns
my mind is the prison I fear
as I long to escape 
from the  hell I dwell in
right here

who have I become? 
what have I done right?
crossroads appear suddenly 
as fog fills the mirror tonight

darkness owning the room,
prefers I suffer slow
so I proceed with speed 
because it’s the only way I know

tasteless stories
flood my life’s hard bound chapters 
while this smeared mirror reflects tears
dripping from a face 
which was once filled with laughter. 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Tranquillizers




                             THE HOSPITAL FAIRYLAND

They walked together, hand in hand,
Into life’s magical fairyland.
Where there was no trouble, where there was no pain.
Where life could really, begin all over again.
Where were no men in little white coats.
Forcing you all, to stuff drugs down your throats.
Forcing you to do, what you didn’t want to.
Telling you it was all for the best, for you,
People shouting, people crying.
Most of the people talking about dying.
What is this hell, we’ve all come to?
It’s called coming off drugs, we all have It to go through.
Where will it end, what will we do?
None of us really, has a clue.
We are given more pills, we are told, we have to take.
To the men in white coats, life’s a piece of cake.
We are the prisoners, they guard the doors.
Some try to creep out, on all fours.
Into hell and back, we go for a ride.
Eventually if we’re lucky, we come out the other side.
Where we can walk, hand in hand.
Into life’s magical Fairyland.
Where there is trouble, where there is pain.
But at least we can start, living again.





Details | Rhyme | |

blood transfusion



Details | Couplet | |

The Reflection

I stare in the mirror, my tears fall in vain
Can’t see my reflection through the veil of this pain.

Who is this person I struggle to see?
I don’t want to judge her but it’s surely not me.

This stranger I cast looks so tired and weak,
I wish I could help her but I’m frightened to speak.

Cause it’s dark and lonely in this shell where I’m bound
Where once there was laughter, is now void of sound.

and the beauty I knew in just yesterday’s time,
seems gone in an an instant with life’s rythym and rhyme…..

Then GOD he spoke child…What do you mean?
You’re more beautiful than anything that I’ve ever seen!

The reflection you cast it don’t matter to me,
What matters is that you can see what I see.

That your spirit is filled with a breath that is true.
And a beauty so deep that this world can’t undo.

I know that your journey seems to heavy to bear.
But I’ve given you family that love and who care.

So hold on tight through the dips and the turns,
For the ones who believe are the precious who learns.

And wether your journey is to stay here or go,
Please know I love you so much more than you know.

I wish I could tell you the beauty that awaits…
But you will know only, when you see heavens gates.


Details | Free verse | |

Carbon Monoxide (CO) Week 2: Carbon Cabrona

Smokeless inhales hurt.
I cough tar on my shirt.
As my black lungs breathe,
Shrilling exhales wheeze.

Cabrona
Falls me
Down to
My knees.

The nicotine cracks
My will.
My composure
Spills.

I want 
This.
I must 
Have this.

I sink
Into
The brink
Of madness.


Details | Rhyme | |

Rehab

So much I wanted to say. So much I wanted to shout.
It was like being trapped behind bars without a way
to get out.
My mind going wild with all these questions of why.
The only way to escape was to fall asleep or to cry.
What did I do so bad that made me have to pay?
My friends, my dreams, and my life was swepped away.
I know I can do it! I try and I try.
Nothing seems to get better. I sometimes wish
I would Die.
Starved for attention. I wanna talk to the world.
I just miss being loved. Miss the warmth of a girl.
Snickers and stairs is what my life has become.
I'm treated like I'm a kid, like I'm sick, or I'm dumb.
One day to the next. Life becomes work just to be alive.
I thank god for my blessings. I thank god I survived.
I finally see some improvement. More hope tickles
my brain.
It was worth all the time, all the tears, all the pain.
I awake with a smile and new hope to move on.
I did it! I did it! All those hard times are gone!


Details | Narrative | |

AGE

I have worked with the elderly for many years,
Heard many happy stories and shed a few tears.
I keep in mind a story I was once told,
How it is like for the elderly to grow old.

Put on bottle cap glasses so you can’t see to well,
While I finish my story I must tell.
Place ear plugs in so that I must shout,
My words will be very hard to figure out. 

Now dear put some pebbles in your shoes,
So when you walk slow you have an excuse.
Some think that because I where diapers I'm a baby again,
And treat me like I can’t understand.

And when I'm sometimes blue,
Nurses patronize me saying I know what you’re going through.
Remember I once lived in a grand home,
And had a family of my own.

I took my youth for granted like we all do,
So you must understand why I sometimes get blue.
Nurses come into my room and don’t even knock,
Sometimes assuming I'm as deaf as a rock.

Sometimes they talk as if I'm not there,
Some just pretend that they care.
Some call me sweetie and dear,
Sometimes forgetting “ Yoo-hoo! I was born first here.”

So when I get snippy and snap at your heel,
You must understand how I must feel.
To once have control and lose my dignity,
Is not what I envisioned for me.

I am perpetually young at heart,
even if my face don't play the part
So next time you see me wheeling through,
To assume make an ass out of me and you


Details | Rhyme | |

Caught In The Black Rain

She's caught in the black rain, emotions are swimming in darkness, as the
 acid rain impairs her vision; within the depth her soul she's unable to find goodness.

The falling black rain has her mind in a state of confusion, murder is no longer
 an ill illusion, actions has drawn it's fatal conclusion.

Upon her the black rain fell bringing misery with pain, living life in vain, constantly
 seeing loss with no gain, and her mental health is far from being sane.

Few have already seen the devastating effects of falling black rain, it's aftermath
 makes the sanest go insane, and those who survive the storm their lives will
  never go back to being simple nor plain.

Falling black rain is a storm formed from mental pain, financial strain, loss with
 no gain, and living life in vain.

Though, in my theory of goodness lies this conclusion," Things that we see as 
 being favorable unto living life is nothing more than our ill illusions," and there-
   fore it's causing us an in-depth state of confusion.


Details | Free verse | |

A Winter Walk

I needed some time, some space to think
And it was either take a walk or drink
And since I knew drinking would solve nothing
I put on my shoes and I started walking

The wind blew the chilly air
Through my unkempt locks of hair,
But I hardly felt the biting cold,
Walking with memories warm in my soul

The street was dark, cold and silent
It was funny the places where my mind went
While I slowly walked across the blacktop road
No destination in mind where I would go

It's funny the things you will remember
I recall a day in mid-December
And how suddenly, nothing seemed the same
After that man at the door called my name

I followed him into a secluded office
Where he would tell me his diagnosis
And suddenly I felt my beating heart
But the rest of the world had just stopped

I felt a hand in mine get tighter
I don't think the room could have been quieter
I shook my head in total disbelief
Too numb to feel anything, even grief

The question asked, "What does this mean?"
But the answer didn't mean anything
My head too fuzzy, my thoughts too jumbled
I turned to my love to speak, but mumbled

I don't remember what else he said
Because of the swirling thoughts in my head
It took three days before I could even think
Which led me to tonight: walk or drink

So I walked and I thought and I truly remembered
Dreams of the past, love treasured forever
Friendship and laughter, sorrow and pain
As though I was reliving my life over again

Little things that I'd sorely taken for granted
Things that didn't happen the way that I planned it
Promises made and ones that were broken
Love that was shared, love still unspoken

The frosty air filled me with a sense of renewal
Inside my soul was fighting a duel
The angel, the devil, both battling demons
Inside of myself I fought to redeem them

I don't know who won the ethereal battle
And I'm not sure right now it even matters
Where once I believed everything for a reason
I'm finding that harder and harder to believe in


Details | Rhyme | |

" The Life Of Me " page 1 of 2

My name is James, born 1961
In Inverness, a small Scots town
To my father Andrew, and my mother Beryl
And Billy my brother, a pair of devils
 
In 67, we woke one night
Our house was ablaze, full of orange light
Our neighbour next door, for whatever reason
Started a fire, it must be crazy season
 
We had too move to a caravan park
By this time it,s three, to make a new start
My mother Beryl decide to leave
But the three of us left, never bothered to grieve
 
In the next few weeks, we ended in court
Two small children, in a marriage abort
We were asked to choose either Dad or Mum
But we ignored the parent, who went on the run
 
As we left the court, to start a new life
We felt sorry for Dad, as his illness was rife
He never told us that he was unwell
It would upset one of his boys, as the future will tell
 
Then came the night all parents dread;
Being told one of his boys is nearly dead
We were going to a boys club, on a Monday night
My brother was running so far out of sight
 
I turned the corner to see him ahead
No!! he's been hit by a van, Boom's  Boom's dead
I ran to my father, sreaming and crying
I'm finding my life,at 7 - far too trying
 
After the funeral, and with my father unwell
We left Inverness, our eyes a swell
To go as two, and not three as before
It's like Mother Nature closed a door
 
So we headed west, to a place called Fort William
Was it in the stars, cause Billy " is " William
We moved there, as the air was so pure
Hoping my father will find his cure
 
For whatever reason, we left the above
We found no Angel or peaceful dove
So we headed back to Inverness
Fathers health decreasing, life still a stress
 
Over the next few years, i was fostered and loaned
In couples houses and children's homes
It was really strange in all those places
Different people, different faces

Then on the 16th of Feb - 76,
James, i was told, your dads very sick.
The cancer had taken your father away
To be with Billy, where you'll join them one day

In 77, i joined the Navy, as i promised my dad you see. 
I did'nt enjoy it, i decided to leave 
Back up north, where my futures to be 
I wanted to have, what my parents had lost 
And that was my aim, no matter the cost

see page 2 of 2, ty..


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php


Details | I do not know? | |

Whispers

I once heard a saying,
that the happiest people are the saddest
Shining because they’ve seen the darkest
Like the lotus that grows out of mud
Or the rotting stump that bears a bud..

You never know what troubles the mind
So be careful with words unkind
The glowing person just beside you
Could be a crumbling ruin behind the hairdo
 Most people struggle everyday
Souls burdened with decay..

I guess it takes a lot of courage
To act normal with that damage
Hard to believe that under the surface
Lives a soul with no purpose
A cry for help won’t be any crisper
Listen to the their inner whisper..


Details | I do not know? | |

They Think They Know

People say that they know,
Then she asks them is that so?
Do you know how I feel?
Do you measure every meal?
What it's like to take a shot,
At 7 o'clock on the dot?
You don't know a single thing,
Of the girl with a broken wing.
She's limited on her food,
Which puts her in a real foul mood.
When her blood sugar suddenly drops,
She all of a sudden flips and flops.
She can't even stand up strait, 
She thinks that she might actually faint.
You people think you understand, 
The most you can do is lend a hand.
Diabetes is no joke,
She can't even have a single coke.
She and her mom worry every day,
They wonder if she'll be okay.
Her bloodsugar can drop really low,
She can instantly become a real big foe.
It can even go really high,
She swears that it can reach the sky.
So for the people that say they know,
I ask them now, is that so?


Details | Free verse | |

An Unfair Ending (Edited for space limits)

His face, withered, gaunt
His eyes cloudy, filled with a haunting vacancy
His voice weak , shallow
Seldom spoken these last difficult days

His hair is white and thin
His skin, so delicate and discolored
The strength has left his fragile body
And he lies, waiting

Yet I remember the man who was my Father
In my youth, so tall and strong
His eyes a deep blue with a depth of the seas
Thick, wavy, black hair tousled about his head

He walked with an unaware arrogance
Never knowing that all eyes were upon him
This handsomest of men, beautiful, confident
No one could match his brilliance, his seductive air

Unconscious, innocent of the power he possessed
The command he held with peers, a leader of men
A bright star in the universe, a life spent searching for answers
Politics, Economics, Religion…his battlegrounds

Yet, with all his perfection
He remained kind and true to all
Generous, loving; never an unkind word
A light for all who knew him

But the cruelty of life is worse for some
His body wracked with an unforgiving disease
Seizing him, slowly at first…a tremor
Then completely, leaving him helpless

Dependent upon those who had worshipped his strength
Lying in his bed, languished, weak
Nearly impossible to eat, difficult to drink
Each day descending further into darkness

Life’s cruelest blow to one so special 
Chosen by angels as their brightest star
So blessed to have loved such a man
Still loved, but pitied for the terrible loss

For such men were never meant to suffer this fate
To fade each day, closer to oblivion
He would never have chosen this
Broken, suffering silently in stoic resignation

Pride now replaced with painful gratefulness
He tries to manage a smile
His rigid muscles fighting the instinct
For he spent his life smiling

But old age has given him no peace
No time to reflect on the legacy he leaves
He waits as life deals its unjust ending
For one who was so great, so good

I hold his cold, thin hand in mine
Holding back the tears that burn
I will remember him, the Father whom I have loved
I see him walk away, wavy black hair, a cute little wink

As he leaves this tired shell, worn, used up
Once again becoming the unbroken man
I see him strut again, his quick, bouncy steps
As he climbs the ladder to the heaven he has earned

I hear the trumpets of the angels
Welcoming their special creation
A man of compassion and ideals
My Father, My Daddy…How I will miss him


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Bruise

Emotionally pinched
bruises the mind
blinds the eye from seeing
internal scars still bleeding
denial of the worst kind
feelings left behind
alone and distraught
in shadows of black and gray
surrounded by emptiness
.
Heart in shreds
gloom and dread
torn apart thoughts
doors of communication closed
beyond reach in saving
numb in soul
crying inside for help
prisoner of pain and hurt
trapped in confinement
of misery.


Details | Couplet | |

This Time of Year

The air is fresh, mornings crisp and clear
God I do love this time of year
Vibrant colors abound on the trees
Gracefully falling with the breeze
The workday runs from sun to sun
Until the "Bringing in of the crops" is done
I am a lucky man to live this life
Respect of my community and loving wife
Sometimes in life the land yields plenty
The blessings throughout the day are many
As I watch the sunrise to the east
It gives my soul a spiritual feast
For all my friends everywhere
To my Lord a silent prayer
To the north her majesty appears
For all to see beautiful and clear
Forever snowcapped and standing tall
Lady Shasta watches over all
To the south another blessing to see
The Sutter Buttes clouded in mystery
It was the Lord that gave them their birth
The shortest mountain range on earth
The coastal mountains to the west
Offers the sun a place to rest
Followed shortly for all to see
The "Harvest Moon" clear as can be
Then comes a moment that is hard
As I head my "Cat" off to the yard
My final ride of this year
My face accepts a single tear
My heart becomes full of sorrow
I inject myself with poison tomorrow
Thats the price that a junkie must pay
Years after he has changed his way
The reason is very clear to see
I put myself "At risk" to hepatitis C
I can't stop the fear from flooding in
What will it be like to hold a rig again
Through all the loss and all the gain
I reckon that moment will bring me pain
But through the pain I'm able to see
God has his angels covering me


Details | Rhyme | |

Just Reach

just reach your hand out to the sky
pull your loved ones back to your side

lets get to say one more goodbye
for we never wanted them to go away and die

as now the days and nights lay 
in such sweet disguise

so let us once again our lord
stare into their illumating eyes

as we reach out for them 
in your broad horizon sky

and get to hold and kiss them
even if their not by our sides

for if this is however feels when we die
then I'd like to be that angel in that sky

so I can just reach out right back
and wipe their tears too from their eyes



Tribute To Our Loved Ones
On The Other Side
May You All RIP


Details | Free verse | |

Vices

Powder dreams and acid queens
Snow white bliss and razor 
blades
Rails so thick your heart will 
bleed
Find your fix so you’ll succeed 
Uppers, downers, sweet cocaine
Every demon has a name
All that matters is the fight
To stay alive and in the light
It hurts so bad right through the 
core
You fear two words and that’s 
coke whore
Cut so deep to feel alive
With every shot you build your 
pride
The fiery rush and burning lust
Nothing else matters f*** their 
trust
A slip, a fall is all it takes
To see you land back on your 
face
The heart that breaks can’t take 
no more
Your soul is gone thrown on the 
floor
The pills you pop the smack you 
shoot
The crack you cook the lines 
you toot
The midnight toke that liquid 
courage
That blissful coke won’t be 
discouraged
Rapping, tapping on your door 
Claiming your body take some 
more
A stressful day a slip from grace
A couple more makes my heart 
race
The walls cave in two worlds 
collide
I wait in horror as my heart dies
A crash of sound a rush of red
Crimson tears are filled with 
dread
The sirens fade and fall away
Too late for fate this ends today


Details | ABC | |

i smoke

I smoke this cigarette
One puff at a time
I smoke this cigarette 
And wonder why I’m dying
My teeth are yellow 
My lungs are black
All I do is hack and hack
My hair smells bad
My clothes stink too
Is that why you don’t want me next to you
I can’t walk up the steps 
With out running out of breath
My chest feel tight 
Its hard to sleep at night
I spend all my money
I could buy other thing
Hell with all I spend 
I could buy diamond rings
For you or my kids that I’m going to leave behind
I can’t believe I don’t care that I’m dying


Details | Rhyme | |

Drugs, Drugs!!!

Drugs, Drugs! that's all that I need.
At least thats all I used to believe.
Drugs, Drugs! that's all that I did.
I didn't even think of my kids.
Drugs, Drugs! that's all that I want.
I didn't even care that I was wrong.
Drugs, Drugs! they're in my home.
Now both of my kids are gone.
Drugs, Drugs! straight to my head. 
I lay here now, because I'm dead.
Drugs, Drugs! is this what you want?
If so, this will be your on sad poem.


Details | Verse | |

No

No, 
not I,
I see clearly through
the rotten wedding veil,
clogged by cake turning stale,
framed by arachnid pageboys;
I see cracks on pale pink lacquer,
on the mannequin face below,
eyes mad and staring, aglow,
the sick dead holes of eyeless toys.
No, 
not I, 
my dear,
I see the madwoman in the attic,
frozen in her rocking chair,
cobwebs floating in her hair,
gibbering to her inner void;
I see the child she used to be,
alone beneath opiate skies,
pulling wings off butterflies,
things of beauty she destroyed.
No,
sorry,
no trace of me at all,
no reflection cast of me,
I am not real, don’t you see?
but, of course, that doesn’t do;
I watch the self-delusions form,
your mechanisms justify,
projecting blame on passers by,
when all there really is,
is 
you. 


Details | Rhyme | |

A living hell My Agoraphobia

My Agoraphobia.
In 1983 you came back  into my life.
Bringing me nothing, but trouble and strife.
You kept me a prisoner in my own home.
When all I longed for, Was to go out alone.
You caused me pain, you made cry,
I felt so ill, I thought I would die.
From doctor, to doctor, from pillar to post.
Where o where, is the cure I wanted the most?
Where exactly does the answer lie?
Eventually I found it, in a doctor called Di.
She gave me the will to carry on and fight.
I fought so hard, with all of  my might.
The shops in the village seemed so very far away.
If only I could go out, just for one single day.
I tried and tried, the tears, the pain,
It was a battle lose or gain,
I gave it everything, yes everything I had.
It wasn’t easy, in fact, it was very bad.
In 1990, after 7 long years,
A lot of heartache, many, many tears,
I was starting to win the battle of getting out the door,
With each day, I was doing more and more,
But there was still so many things that I couldn’t do alone.
Still so many jobs, that had to be done on the phone.
I could now walk to the shops, there and back,
 get the groceries, take them home, and unpack,
But I still couldn’t get a bus into town on my own,
only if I had someone to go with, borrowed, on loan.
It took several more years, of heartbreak and pain,
Before I could finally travel alone again.
May 2nd  2000, I jumped on a bus and popped into town,
It was just like my world had been turned upside down.
HERE WAS I FREE AT LAST,
Finally free to forget the past.
So I decided to do something I had never done before. 
I started at college part time, each day I couldn’t wait to get out of the door,
To catch my bus, to feel like I had finally rejoined the human race.
Living life at a hectic pace.
Going to college at the age of 53,
Really did do wanders for me.
The computer course was harder than I thought it would be, 
but others in the class helped me.
Our tutor was really nice,
Always ready with good advice.
Now I really feel I have turned my life completely around,
With this new freedom I have found.
With a lot of help, from my husband and son,
The battle is over, finally won.
So its goodbye agoraphobia you belong in the past,
Never again will you get me in your grasp.

This is a true poem of my own battle with Agoraphobia, That robbed me of a lot of my life, 


Details | Rhyme | |

You Were The Best Mother,




Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 1)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 2 to complete the poem and leave your comments on the Part 2 submission. Thank 
you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain diminished 


Me, Myself, and I...


“There are things that concern us,”
		Consensed my “Selves” in earnest
““We” fear that “I” have succumbed to delusion”

“And after careful deliberation
		It is with much hesitation
That we choose to delineate upon this confusion”


“Fact is your intuition
		Is riddled with superstition
And your judgment leaves much to be desired”

“So you leave us no recourse
		Don’t push us to use force”
It is then that the “I” was summarily fired


I exclaimed “By whose authority?” Response, “Rule of majority”
“The “Myself” and the “Me,” (forthwith the “We”), are experts in our field”

“And with much technique and time
		And some forays into the sublime
The nature of your malady will be revealed”


“So to keep yourself from having a fit
		Step back and just calm down a bit”
“We,” they said, “certainly have this under control”

“We swear this won’t hurt at all”
		Then I felt my inhibitions fall
Still I said a prayer to God that He keep my soul


You know, fact is I do feel off axis
		As evidenced by such parapraxis
As this prose that I, (or is it “Us”), seek to pen

And with my mind feeling numb
		I finally chose to succumb
And allow the “Me” and the “Myself” to begin


And then came questions in a flurry
		Answer, answer and please do hurry
Not one moment of respite did they give

They pushed and they prodded
		With every “T” crossed and “I” dotted
My mind felt like it had gone through a sieve


And all this psycho-analysis
		Is causing my mind paralysis
The questions, can you stop with the questions please

“Yes, oh yes indeed
		I do believe we have what we need
To make an attempt to identify your unknown neuroses”


Details | Lyric | |

I Hate You Cancer

Dedicated to my Dad who lost his short battle w/ Colon Cancer on June 18,2013

I hate you Cancer
Your vile evil and cruel
You don't care who you hurt
I'll never forget that day
I'll always hate you for it

Your heartless Cancer
You took someone important from me
Someone important from others too
Took people who didn't belong to you
I hate you for it

You disgust me Cancer
You had no right to take him from me
He mattered more than my very own life
I hate you for taking my Daddy
I hate you for taking others too

I hate you with a passion Cancer
You took part of my heart with him
You took part of my soul that day too
I hate you for it
I hate you I hate you I hate you

I hate you with every fiber of my being 
Go back to Hell where you belong
I hate you, others hate you
Your not welcome or wanted here Cancer

I hate you more than his doctor's
I hate you more than God
I hope I get to witness that day
Witness the day you fall
And you will fall Cancer

You're gonna lose the battle one day Cancer
I'm gonna laugh and dance around your grave
You'll finally get what you deserve 
And you'll never be able to take another soul


Sabrina Niday Hansel


______________________________________________________________________
Placed 8th in Poet Destroyer A's  2013 "PINKTOBER" Contest

Please Support a Cure for Colon Cancer & every other type!









Details | Rhyme | |

The Hospital Fairyland

THE HOSPITAL FAIRYLAND

They walked together, hand in hand,
Into life’s magical fairyland.
Where there was no trouble, where there was no pain.
Where life could really, begin all over again.
Where were no men in little white coats.
Forcing you all, to stuff drugs down your throats.
Forcing you to do, what you didn’t want to.
Telling you it was all for the best, for you,
People shouting, people crying.
Most of the people talking about dying.
What is this hell, we’ve all come to?
It’s called coming off drugs, we all have It to go through.
Where will it end, what will we do?
None of us really, has a clue.
We are given more pills, we are told, we have to take.
To the men in white coats, life’s a piece of cake.
We are the prisoners, they guard the doors.
Some try to creep out, on all fours.
Into hell and back, we go for a ride.
Eventually if we’re lucky, we come out the other side.
Where we can walk, hand in hand.
Into life’s magical Fairyland.
Where there is trouble, where there is pain.
But at least we can start, living again.


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 2)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 1 first so as to get the true gist of the poem and leave your comments here on the 
Part 2 submission. Thank you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain 
diminished.


Me, Myself, and I... (continued)


“Your, (Or “Our”), symptoms seem to intermit
		And the fact that “You’re,” (“We’re”), a hypocrite
Tis no wonder we’re having such problems with diagnosis”

Then “I” had an idea so grand
		To dispense with this at my own hand
A self-inflicted coup de grace would be my prognosis


So while the “Me” and the “Myself” squabbled
		With courage newly cobbled
“I” spotted the dresser drawer and made my run

With fingers fiercely fumbling
		Whilst they continued grumbling
“I” produced from the depths of the drawer a shiny gun


And now my life, though ill-fated
		Was soon to be vindicated
This would affect us all equally the same

Would be no myself or me
		No you, him, us, or we
But an inclusive all would be to blame


It took me a moment to figure
		Out the safety on the trigger
Then “I,” (or “Us”), prepared to do the dirty deed

Then the barrel found my temple
		And as it settled into the dimple
A still small voice did my “selves” choose to heed


Hence a moment of clarity 
		Harkened me to posterity
And I thought what a legacy to leave behind

“Can’t we all find a way
		To save this miserable day
And avoid a broken body for someone to find”


And then deep within my soul
		I felt and heard a simple drum roll
And the differing sides of me just subsided

And with my mind now as one
		I worked to get this all undone
The whole business of this stuff I derided


And tis now true of fact
		That I survived this ordeal intact
And lived to raise my face unto the sky
 
And here now as it ends
		I find I’ve made good friends
With the “Me”, the “Myself,” and the “I”


Thank you for taking the time to share in my poetry. Please feel free to leave your thoughts 
or comments here on this page. 

J. Scott Burns...


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Shunned

Breaking down in the heart and mind.
With all regrets that are truly not kind.
Shocked at people are, so painful to see.
Abused with hated and ecstasy.
Violated and directed with torments
Lost of words or comments.
Hatred gushing out of life long experience.
Reminding yourself to become absence.
Coward and scared to even breathe.
Like the feeling of knives unsheathe.
Sharp but not enough to cut.
Enough to scare like a door that immediately shut.
The hand raised to help you is a lie.
It is a hand that slaps you so you can die.
Rough around the edges.
Crawling in your dreams in ledges.
Powered to stay alive.
You feel people want you to take a dive.
Just stop, and fall down.
Hoping to break your mental crown.
Hiding a feeling that never feels real.
Like shaking hands with demons for a deal.
Blocked out, out of your own story.
Thinking that people are stealing your glory.
Ashamed with fear.
With eyes that are full of tear.
Lost in such hidden romance.
Luck has it seems to be a dance.
Moving around in your head.
With scary thoughts and dread.
Feels like you never leave.
So you feel so many that grieve.
In your mind that is lost.
Full of drama that holds you down in cost.
Keeping in the shadow.
You watch people so shallow.
Gut instinct says that life with them is a muse.
When your just standing your accuse.
Society is just so lame.
Like all the people that are in it your to blame.
Soloing life is a brief.
Walking away is some what a relief.
I dreamed of many things.
With beautiful sorrows of wings.
Wavered in a direction that leads no where.
Escaping everything by a hair.
Pointing into the sky.
And asking yourself why.
The cage is so big.
Just enough to put on a huge rig.
Moving back and fourth.
It feels that your life does not have a worth.
Caned by laws of laughter to deceive.
Shackled up to be bent to your will to receive.
When you hope to hope.
A person can just show you the rope.
They have such friendly hands.
Like the deserts of sands.
Dangerous it is to just keep walking in it.
Lost cannot find your way even a little bit.
Just seem like your heart feels dry.
Then you give up and give a sigh.
That moment that you do is just all a dream.
You are really in a ward you will scream.
Thrust upon you because you could not protect.
So what cost you is this effect.
Warping in to your mind to leave this place.
You feel full of disgrace.
With nothing to drink.
Causing your true self to think.
Grief is such a pain with sorrow to gain.
Looking out in your own rain.




Details | Lyric | |

This Aint Real

Your face, 
Made a fake smile, (you said)
I love you,
I need you,
I want you just for a while,
You told me,
That I made you smile,
All the things you said to me,
Are just words now,
How can we love,
When you love me for yourself,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus: 2x
What are we doin,
If this love ain't real,
What is this feeling,
That I feel,

I'm broken in emotion,
I'm broken in love, (you said)
I need you,
I want you
You're the only one,
I'm thinkin of, (so tell me)
How can we love, 
When there's always someone else,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus 2x
Bridge:
How can we love,
When there's always someone else,
How can we make up,
When you only love me for yourself,

verse #3:
You got me imprisoned, 
Inside your heart,
When kissed
I felt, Like we,
Would never be apart,
chorus 2x

 


Details | Rhyme | |

Smoking From the ones left behind

(FROM THE ONES WHO ARE LEFT BEHIND)


To all you smokers out there.

I’m not going to say, give up, I wouldn’t dare,

If you want to smoke, it’s up to you,

But I don’t want to smoke your smoke too,

So many lives it takes away.

It really is a high price to pay,

Especially for the ones left behind,

The ones you love, so very kind.

They are the ones left with there hearts broken,

So many things left unspoken.

They are the ones, that have to nurse you night and day,

They are the ones, who sit and pray,

They are the ones left with the legacy of what you’ve done,

When you can’t breath, because of your lung,

They to would like a voice,

They to would like a choice.


Details | Acrostic | |

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!


Details | I do not know? | |

A Material Christmas

It's Christmas! Christmas!
That time of year
When people are filled...
With holiday cheer?

Yeah right. . .
I really do wish it were true
But people are people
Through and through

It's not about happiness anymore
Or in respect to what matters.
In reality it concerns what you get
And the food that is piled on the platters.

What has happened to the world of today?
Where is the 'loving and giving...'?
Now it is all just me, me, me.
Is this a nightmare? Or are we actually living.  

Yep we might have a lot of things
Hang on! Let's add some more
It isn't the family that I'm expecting
But the postman knocking at the door.

When the topic turns to Christmas cheer
Lets go stuff our faces...
Break out all that lovely beer!
Chuck away those graces!

But... Suddenly the month is over
There go all the gifts you gave
Your debt payments crawl closer and closer
And you become a material slave.






Details | Ballad | |

ALL SHE WILL BE NEEDING

She smells of stale garbage and wine
Her boots all worn and tattered
Stern-faced and stony eyes
Dressed in a tired ol' mink
She shivers as she takes a rest
From pushing her metal cart
Squeaking and overflowing with
Items reflecting her life
She had been warned twice to move
The choice was not hers to make

Today, like all the others
She will walk ten blocks or so
In hope to find a warmer place
To lay down for the night
Just a corner to rest
Is all she will be needing
She knows this will be over soon
The pain gets worse each day
Yet, her hopes live on for one more day
Her deliverance is on its way!
~*~


*"HOMELESSNESS"


Details | Rhyme | |

The Doctor Is A Dead Man Walking

Bob had a special talent
That only worked in his men’s store.
He had ‘clothing ESP’.
He knew what his customers wanted…and more.

When customer would come into his store
Bob would invariably say, 
“Hello. I'm Bob. Don’t say a word.
I already know what you need today.”

And he was always right,
Never missed a color, fabric, style or size.
He even knew the necessary alterations.
Customers couldn’t believe their ears and eyes.

Meanwhile, in another part of town,
Joe had a pounding, relentless migraine
For every minute for more than five years,
It had driven him near insane.

He’d lost his job to the pain.
Then, he lost his wife.
He had lost a lot of weight and rarely slept.
Yes, his was a miserable life.

And, of course,  sex was out of the question…
Even a little self-abuse.
There was nothing left for Joe but pain.
He felt his life was of no use.

So, Joe went to his doctor.
“Doc, please help me end this pain.
Give me something to make me sleep
And never wake up again.”

“You know I can’t assist your suicide.”,
Then he looked sad, perhaps ashamed.
“I never dreamed it would last five years,
But I know how to end the pain.”

“You can make it go away?!
Tell me, Doc!  What’s the word?”
“I’ll have to remove your testicles.”
Was the last thing that Joe heard.

But…when he came to, it struck him.
Sex was out of the question anyway;
But he might enjoy his meals again,
And he could sleep for days.

“Please check me in, Doc.
This opportunity I cannot shirk.”
So, the doctor removed his testicles.
He did his very best work.

A few days later, Joe waddled along,
Headache free and feeling pretty nice;
But every attractive woman he saw 
Reminded him of his sacrifice.

He decided it was appropriate
To do something nice for himself for a change.
So, he went into a travel agency;
And a six month cruise he arranged.

As he left the travel agency,
He was excited, feeling ready to go;
But for such a glorious adventure,
He would need new clothes.

As he walked along, he saw Bob’s Men's Store.
He walked in, only to hear Bob say,
“Hello.  I’m Bob. Don’t say a word.
I already know what you need today.”

“How could you know?” asked Joe.
“It’s a gift.  I don’t know how, but I do.
You’ve suffered five years with an ailment,
Found relief, so now you’re taking a cruise.” 

Joe could not believe his ears.
How could this stranger possibly know?
"You're right! That's amazing!
And I'm going to need new clothes." 

Bob then laid out a fabulous wardrobe
All the right colors, fabrics, styles…and each size.
Joe was incredibly impressed.
He could hardly believe his ears and eyes.

“How do you like the wardrobe?”
“It’s wonderful!”  Bob could see that Joe was pleased.
“Now,” said Bob, “What about undergarments;
You know…shorts and tees?

Let’s see…medium crew neck tees, all cotton.
I believe that you prefer white….
And jockey shorts, all cotton…. 34s.
Yes, I'm sure that’s right.”

Joe beamed, “You’re an amazing talent
And I just this second realized,
You've laid out this entire wardrobe
And only missed one size.”

Bob, surprised by his mistake, asked, “Really?
What did I miss?  I did my best for you.”
“Well…you’re right.” said Joe, “I do wear Jockeys,
But…well…I wear 32s.

“Oh, no!” said Bob with an ugly grimace.
“That would be a serious mistake.
Thirty-twos would be too small, 
They would cramp your balls.
You’ll get migraine headaches.”


Details | Narrative | |

Losing Someone to Cancer

I did speak with them, seemed very confused.

Apparently from what I have been told,
the cancer has gotten worse, and has 
began invading the rest of the body…

The hospice nurse doesn’t,
think they will be with us much longer…

They don’t know where they are living, can't 
remember me seeing them recently, can't 
remember me talking with them yesterday...

I know that this is very depressing news,
and if it weren't for friends and family,
I would be going crazy…

For it is hard to lose a loved one,
whether it be family or friend…

Since we don't know, when that fateful day
will happen, we can only take it one day at a time,
I only hope and pray that they won't suffer, I would
 rather see them be in a coma, and not have 
the pain and suffering…

I know that sounds harsh, however,
I don't want them to suffer, I want them
 to go in there sleep….

By Sandra L. Hoban
©2007


Details | Questionku | |

Retirement of my beef

Horse who won in Yorkshire
Last year how come
To be a  beef in my menu  this year


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

As my Mother Slips Away

I called my mother the other day- just to listen to her voice
She answered dear Steve – yes this is me- how are you this day
I said I was fine- it has been some time- I searched for more words to talk
She cantered a bit then came to a halt- as I began to say 
Mother dear- this is Mark- how are you today 
Mark she replied- I have a Mark- he was the oldest of three
How is school - are you making good grades- are you coming home real soon
I told her I would- If only I could- would she know me anyway
I visited my mother the other day- at a home for Alzheimer patients
Her stare in the air- made it be known- that she could not remember
I sat by her side- we nibbled on crackers- we looked out the window pane 
Then I was father- she told me she miss me –I cried a thousand tears
She reached for my hand- I did not resist- I was blessed to make her happy
How are you Tom- I said I was fine- The kids will be home soon
I told her it’s time- I must go home - I have to work tomorrow 
I took her hand- I’ll see you soon- Goodbye Steve she told me

As my Mother slips away today- how precious are my memories
For after this world –I can hardly wait- for my Mother to recognize me


Details | Than-Bauk | |

Dressed Blues

<                                                 he took the fall
                                                   dressed blues call now
                                                   hearts wall skips beat

 

Written by Katherine Stella 8/7/11



A Than-Bauk, conventionally a witty saying or epigram, is a three line "climbing rhyme" poem of Burmese origin. Each line has four syllables. 

The rhyme is on the fourth syllable of the first line, the third syllable of the second line, and the second syllable of the third line. 

Tribute To U.S Marine Corps
Hu RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH


Details | Rhyme | |

Time to Go in loving memory of my mother

My mom was a strong woman, and stubborn too,
Yet she had a soft side, between me and you.
That side she would show, when you least expected,
But let me tell you, she was well respected.

Mom was quite unique, and was one of a kind,
She was set in her ways, so keep that in mind.
The youngest of nine, she had gotten her way,
Spoiled by her siblings’, almost every day.

Right out of high school, she had married my dad,
Blessed with three children, plus fifty years they had.
They both were hard workers, in all that they did,
My dad taught himself, from when he was a kid.

My mom was a smoker, for forty-six years,
Some day it would happen, she’d face all her fears.
Lung cancer she had, and inoperable too,
Her time on this earth, would be shortened we knew.

Radiation and Chemo, had done their thing,
Remission set in, tears of joy it did bring.
We would go out at night, to shop and to talk,
I knew she enjoyed, getting out for a walk.

Two years had gone by, after Thanksgiving Day,
Her pain had returned, but was afraid to say.
She’d lie on the couch; it was strength she did lack,
We knew in our hearts, that the cancer came back.

We shared lots of laughter, but many a tear,
I tried to assure her, she’d nothing to fear.
“Please watch over your dad, this one thing I ask.”
“I know it will be, quite a difficult task.”

One morning in March, Hospice called us to say,
You may want to come, for she’s slipping away.
For the night before, mom told me to stay home,
“Be there for your kids, you can call me by phone.”

When we all arrived, for a moment she woke,
Her eyes said it all, not a word had she spoke.
We stayed by her bedside, just holding her hand,
“It’s time to let go mom, we all understand”.

A few days had passed, not ready to let go,
For it had been raining, but letting up slow.
The sun began shining, the clouds disappeared,
Opening the heavens, for mom’s time has neared.

We gathered together, her forehead we kissed,
Whispering so softly, how much she’d be missed.
“Your time has arrived mom, just follow the light”,
She left us so peaceful, she gave up her fight.

It was time to drive home, in the car we got,
Then something had happened, while leaving the lot.
Huge drops of rain falling, it had to be fate.
They were tears of joy; she was at heaven’s gate.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Poetic PRESCRIPTION:

                               NO REFILLS---Dr. P. Soupenstein
                               Rx *7563287      BEC 11/11/11      
Seems to me,
what you need 
for healing this condition...
is something real
you can feel
to ease this mean affliction

Patient please
accept from me
this poetry prescription:

      ( <_____PUSH & TURN_____> )

Take ONE positive poem
Read ORALLY 2 times BY MOUTH -----
Every 4-6 HOURS AS NEEDED for the pain 

Blues and belly aches will dissipate
resulting in healthy energy gains 

                  WARNING!!!
-Alcohol may intensify the effect of being drowsy 
attempting to read while operating machines... 
will cause you to drive lousy.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | Light Poetry | |

Chicken Head

       Chicken Head

       Your a bird, with no wings!
    Your soul is lost and lives in the streets.
     Why sell your body the way you do?
        you least can get your son some new shoes.
     If you going to sell your body,get what you can get.
         You have kids, you need to get a grip.
          Do you really want your daughter to grow up like you?
         To flag down cars for every man that comes threw!
           Why are you selling your last food stamps?
          To pay a cell phone bill that has laped.
      This is no debate, your son lips is cracked from being dehydarted.
     Why do you make them suffer for the things you do?
      Look into their eyes. thats the hatred for you!
         Your baby is crying tears, for you can hear.
               Crying to be loved by you,
            You can really fix the things you do!
   Each child is a gift from God, A bright shining star.
                 Look inside your heart,
    and ask your self is this is what you want to be.
          A chicken head that stay in the streets.
      Ask God for help, when you lay down to sleep.
            Pray the lord your soul to keep.
          If you should die before you wake,
       ask him to help take your kids pain away!
             Some one should decapitate you,
       for all the pain you put your kids threw.
      So stop having kids just for someone eles to raise them.
    I guess it's for the best, because you really don't deserve them!
           They cry for help, they beg of you!
     Your a lost soul, and only God can judge you!
    


Details | Free verse | |

Dysfunctional Dreamtime

                                                             1.

A red helium balloon
                                   I float above myself,
Watch the ritual unfold:

                                   Gather the sharps
                                   Lay them out
                                   Roll up the sleeves
                                   Enfold the world in silence.

Then, with infinite concentration,
The Not-Me begins:

                                    Draw the lines
                                    Open the flesh
                                    Let out the hot red
                                    Pain and Poison;
                                    Inscribe another testament
                                    To survival.

Then the balloon drifts down
Sleeves roll down
The Not-Me steps into the balloon
                                    And floats away,
And I become myself again,
Purged and Whole

Until the next time.

                                                               2.

A wraith,
I live on air
Insubstantial as the Winter's mists.

I am colorless
And blank as perfect ice, as cloudless sky
Yet I command all appetites,
Control my ghostly shape
Against all outside assault.

My Will is wind,
Invisible and Absolute.

A reed,
I bend but never break.

I may be fading, fading...

But the steel rod within the mist
Shines true and will not yield.

                                                               3.

Peel back the flesh
The flowing flesh,
And see the Void within.

I am large but I am empty,
Hollow as a gourd, a husk.
Tear me and the taut surface
Will collapse upon itself.

I hunger, ever hunger
For the things that fill others up 
And keep them satisfied.

                                                     And so I eat.

                                                     I eat Love, Acceptance, Self-Confidence.
                                                     I eat Hate, Loneliness, Rejection.

And ultimately,
I consume myself.

                                                     After all, 
                                                     Who else could stomach
                                                     The taste of me?


Details | Tyburn | |

I'm Going Nuts

<                                          insane
                                            constrain
                                            domain
                                            remain


                        asylum housing      -    insane   constrain
                        longing for rescue  -    domain   remain


Details | Kimo | |

Kimotherapy

Threads of nausea are knotting her guts, gossamer gold strands falling, friendships unravelling.
for 'Kooky and Krazily Kimotastic Kimotherapy' contest


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?


Details | Rhyme | |

Losing My Mind


Do you ever feel like you are losing your mind, Stand up and speak ~ would you feel so inclined. Enter a room and ask yourself why you are there, Re-tracing every step, trying to become aware. Or telling a great story then you get halfway, You think, now what exactly was I going to say. Drive to the grocery store to buy a thing or two, Once home you find you forgot the main item, stew. You meet a friend in the store, you know her face, What’s her name ~ you feel like such a disgrace. You plan a dinner for friends that cannot be missed, But you have to write all the menu details on a list. Ask your husband a question and he answers no, Now did he say yes or no, I forget, ~ oh say it isn’t so. Friends reassuringly say its your age, it’s just stress, I worry for my family, terrified for myself, I must confess. My Mom died of Alzheimer's, a disease of the mind The loss of mental function and quality of life is unkind There’s nothing that can be done, so I sit and wait To see if I will end up like my mother, a terrible fate. *The most common cause of dementia is Alzheimer Disease. It estimated there are 35.6 million people with dementia worldwide. The economic cost is $604 billion (US dollars) in 2010. * Reference: World Alzheimer Report 2010. Alzheimer Disease International. Written by Lee Ramage September 13, 2011 For Debbie Guzzi’s Contest “Unmentionables” Won 7th place


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Boy Who Smiles at the Sky

There he sits neither brazen nor too shy
The boy who sits and smiles at the sky
He is not moved as those who pass him by
He sits and smiles his head up to the sky

There seems to be some peace to it
Something for us that doesn’t fit
But nature is subdued admit
Admit you couldn’t, wouldn’t thus smile and sit.

Mindless sightless people passing by
Dare not notice it smiling at the sky
Just move on faster doesn’t matter why
There is nothing to smile at in the sky

Pray what is it he’s smiling at
I wonder is It smiling back
He seems to hold something we lack
We lack yet couldn’t, wouldn’t live like that

Some things taught should really make you cry
Not like the one who smiles at the sky
Who lives in reasoning like you nor I 
Is there something in smiling at the sky

What do his eyes now truly see
Is his mind completely free
Does he recall you and me
And me we couldn’t, wouldn’t friends still be

What meaning to time gently passing by
I’d just be that boy who smiles at the sky
As all my treasured memories sweetly die
I turn my hopes and smiling toward the sky


Details | Rhyme | |

Depression

I am not the person I once was
I am the person I don’t want to be
I have no energy, no enthusiasm
I have no passion for things that surround me

I have ebbed, never to return
I am barren of creativity
This thing called depression
I care not where it takes me

Now alone, I hear the voices that once inspired me
They have no meaning, just cacophony
I have been shaped by negativity 
I have been diminished by mediocrity


Details | Senryu | |

Summer's Spilled Milk

Summer’s Spilled Milk
City dwellers pumped;
Oil effused into ocean,
Ocean creatures died.


Details | Than-Bauk | |

Oh My God That's So Sad

<       Hands and feet nailed
         face so pale now
         tears hale down cheeks


Details | Tanka | |

Childhood Disrupted

childhood disrupted
by a fight against cancer
changed a young girl's life

chemo and amputation
renewed her for all to love

June 13, 20112
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest:  Cantankacerous
Sponsored By:  Joann Grisetti


Details | I do not know? | |

CHALLENGE

Day and night,
I think about the truth,
Behind those hidden curtains,
Trying hard to understand,
How He thinks and do things,
Why is that that our mind so small,
Its hard for us to think beyond? 
Why did He made everything complicated for us?

I sat down my dad called,
To make me face the reality,
My heart started beating fast,
And tears run down my cheeks,
As if there was hail,
I didn't know what to say,
He told me he might not last long,
How am I going to see him?
He is on the other-side of the world?
I am worried about him,
I wish I could die with the people who I love,
I am scared to loose them
And the hard part is I dont know my dad,
I miss him!

I feel like time is close by,
And I didn't live my life as if I wish to,
I can't because things are not the same,
When I see an apple on the tree,
It feels like blood dropping beside my eyes,
I feel strange in this world,
I don't think or see the things I used to,
I stand amongst people who are changed,
In a bad way and yet the worst hasn't begun!

I can't even write my poems the same,
I can't make it rhyme anymore,
I feel like I am all alone in this,
I feel like this is a big challenge,
And I am lost in middle of no where,
I feel like nobody understands,
When the words come out my mouth,
All they hear is bluh! bluh! bluh!
I am disparate to find someone who I can talk to,
Yet I am scared to trust anybody,
I been hurt so many times,

I dont even know how to end this poem if you called it,
I have so much anger that is in me,
That no matter what I say there is still more,
That will never end,
One thing I know is I hate to be here,
And live in a place full of strangers, selfish liars, and untrusted people!


Details | Couplet | |

Dirty Dan

<                             Driving along in my automobile
                               Seen homeless man holding sign will work for his meals

                               Should I stop or should I just Go !
                               Should I give Or Should I just say hell No !

                              But what if that was me
                              Crying out with such pitty

                              Not knowing where to get next meal
                              Three kids crying at worn out heels

                             Cardboard boxes to call our home
                             Dumpster diving for pieces of foam

                             Think I'll give him a piece of my pot
                             Opened wallet and gave him alot

                             A nice twenty came on out
                             Wiped out was his sadden pout

                              
                             Drove by an hour later
                             Homeless camp wiped off roadmarks slatter

                             
                             Wonder where dirty Dan had now roamed
                              Just hope he finds a better suitable home


Details | Rhyme royal | |

Let life win for now

    Let life win for now... when your head sadly down. 
 Let life win for now... when your chips are down, 
 Let life win for now... when you can’t speak a sound, 
 Let life win for now... win when you just getting up off the ground 
 and life nocks you back down.


    Let life win for now, as you standing in free line,
 when your gut is light to get a bite
 to keep you up right to win the battles of life.  

    But be poise and patient for those who step in your way, your enemy, 
 your unknown rival... Let life pave the way
 therefore what you had good then and do not have now 

     Let life win for now, because life knows what comes around.



Poetry  written by  11/26/10 Author Keith K. Relf


Details | Rhyme | |

Chicken Karma

Written in 04 when there was a chicken flue scare...Peter

Chicken Karma.

Chickens fighting back with Karma
Coming down with chicken flue.
People watching all those years now
{people being me and you}
Watching all those cruel fellows
I'm the same I watched it too.

Creatures kept in little cages
Beaks cut off to make them meek.
Never seeing sunny weather
No room to move, of this I speak!!
And now us folk be getting worried
That chicken flue our deaths will seek.

Well I be saying "ain't my fault"
But me, I've ate that chicken too.
And I knew what folk were doing
I'd seen the cruel things they do
And now that karma's getting closer
Will the world go down with chicken flu?.

Dec 30 2004.


Details | Free verse | |

Remains Of A Driveway

Through you I seek to know:
What happened once below?

You ferns of resistance, I see you
Mixing it upward with 
A firm stance. 
(Such steely green weeds
Do smirk indeed
Above the empty path of horizon’s eye,
Blackened to nowhere).

What, though, do I see in you?

(A path lies vacant and wanting,
A land once named upon a dream;
A barren place now daunting,
Neglected and unseen).

Where is your truth?

(Does it rest within your clumsy bud’s dance
With a tertiary sky,
Or a raucous from your stem’s windward need 
To lead)?

Oh No.

I do believe:
It is your roots of defiance!

To know Home in no shame;
To forge through scarred soil with no blame!

Such courage you have:
To reap the shifting tar of fickle men, 
And safely hasten away 
From the notion of never again!

(Thirty some years have stood and fell
Yet…
Your quiet presence lives to tell
This hell,
Once known,
As Love’s canal).  

Oh eager green,
 I wish you well.


Details | Free verse | |

Alcoholism

Alcoholism, the pariah
feeding on the collapse
of self-control 
befuddling the brain's sensibility;
transforming intelligence
into ridicule.


Details | Lyric | |

fracking oil

should I believe you man in the suit?
oh your hair looks mighty fine 
combed back, your polished slacks 
a slight tan 
you are irresistible in your presence 
demanding attention. 
you have a face that looks right 
nothing you say would be out of sight 
nothing you do would steer me wrong 
oh man in the suit, 
you are my god. 
you have the power to make us thrive 
dig a hole 
to the other side 
not to china, but to the fuel
oh man in the suit 
I cannot trust you 
you dug too deep 
into a pocket of the earth 
looking for more resource 
to fill your own pockets 
but I don't want pockets 
man in the suit 
all I want 
is for you to tell the truth
your polished smile did us wrong 
lies lay upon your clever tongue  
and you continue to rule the earth 
digging your holes 
you find more girth 
to your hungry pockets 
which you try so hard to fill
when will you learn 
that filling pockets kills...


Details | Free verse | |

The Rebellious Teen

The rebellious Teen loved all his friends. 
The only ones he listened to… were them.
They wanted him to drink and smoke every night. 
They said experimenting with drugs was definitely all right.

The rebellious teen’s mom was beside herself… 
This was her child and this could finish his life.
But he continued to listen to the Devil himself.
What could she do in the end to save his life?

The devilish friends held him closely in the palm of his hand…
In the end she decided she had to move far away from them.
Somewhere… where only new friends he could find.
Those who loved life, sports, and learning: to draw him back in.

Then every so often she let him, for a visit, to go back…
Each time he went, fewer were left to contact, yes, some were even dead.
Some had over dosed… Some didn’t care who he was any more.
What he found was rot and that they lacked the drive to live.

The rebellious teen cried for what he saw they had become…
He had changed and now could see, what was happening to them…
These were no longer the friends that he remembered from before.
He tried to save them with words and his love… but they didn’t care.

He didn’t want to go back to that sadness, to live ever again… 
Now he looked to the future and that was a fact.
The moral I tell you, all of my friends…if he won’t listen to you… 
Then find him new friends.

For if he is your life and if you want him to live…
Find others to help steer him or else you can’t win…
Let his support group be new peers who enjoy life to the brim.
Yes, those who will help lead him to walk in the light again.

From a true experience…


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He has
          become his past

                 which time has replayed
                                                     to his surprise
                                                                               
 as a comedy of errors...
                                             filled with sadness
                                   irony
                        and
           mirth


Details | Free verse | |

Mama

Skeletal,
shriveled,
your shell's a delicate, dry
and brittle casing,
soon shed.
Now,
age accumulates and,
exiled and bewildered --
all free choice fled --
death's an unknown terror.
You miss your home,
cannot understand how,
to those who once bent to your will,
you've faded to a shadow,
powerless, almost forgot,
a consequence of the natural order.
Enjoy the moments in the sun,
your food, your precious life's breath
that I listen for at night.
I cling, and mourn your life --
so changed.
Your stroke
has paralyzed us both...
my pity, cloaked in love,
is but another grievous wound
you bear.


Details | Rhyme | |

Free Bird

<                             "Hark" the Herald Angels begin to sing
                 "Jesus"patiently awaits so her children can say their last goodbyes
                       Cancer is the one thing she will not have to bring
                            For she earned her wings and is now free to fly 



Entry For 
Carolyn Devonshire's
 Perception Of Heaven's Contest
G.L. All



RIP Mama
{1934-2005}


Details | Free verse | |

My Mama

My Mama she trips out in the moon light
when I’m safely tucked up in bed
she dresses to wow her audience
but I know not of her occupation
when I ask I am greeted by silence
and then “You will understand when you grow up”

My Mama she returns at break of day
before the curtains begin to twitch or draw
she’ll come in exhausted and fix my breakfast
then checking in on me she’ll wake me for school
before she goes off to bed – she’ll see me later
to ask about my day and play

A Mamas kiss, a smile, a hug, warmth, food and a roof
Yet when we go out together people turn 
to talk to one another, quietly nodding
Funny looks are cast our way and yet not one shall speak to us
Aged nine in school I find out why 
when another child will laugh

“Ya Mama works the streets
lies on her back, watches the sky – to feed ya
-Tis what my Ma said”
It makes me cry
I love my Mama
but this shame hurts

I want to die…


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Suicidal Voodoo

Chase the voodoo to sleep. sleepless freaks i see in the silver screens blocking the vision of me. there's no choice but to eliminate hate inundating the mind. please mute the voices haunting the airwaves making me blind. the big bad budding burden flashing red lights at every intersection. stealing away the insight i try to gain by using time for reflection.

It's a mess the way i test myself with deranged prophecies and bleak scenarios. replaying horror flicks in my head. blasting screams in stereo. all too often the worm hole shoots me to a mid evil castle of torturous devices. impaled in dreams that seem to be broadcasting punishment for succumbing to the world's entice and vices. but other times i fall victim to a good old fashioned "day-mare". people notice the self conversations and can't help but laugh and stare. I must say it's becoming difficult to blame them. if i can't learn to shake this voodoo, it's true my future's looking grim.

What do I do? they're gonna end up arresting me! Toss my ass in a padded room and throw away the key! and get this...as i worry about getting sent away, the paranoia increases inside my head. i reach for medication increasing odds of ending up prematurely dead. I may be crazy, but don't take me for an idiot fool. and don't haze me about where my faith is, cus' this could just as soon be you. and i've learned enough to know that each and every one of us will die. and you may take me as insane, but me not taking my own life's got nothing to do with having a fear to fry. 

This is exactly why i choose to write as my mind fills up with crazy thoughts and throws fits. it's a therapy for me to try and work out all the kinks that make me sink, instead of cowardly throwin' in the towel n' calling it quits.


Details | Free verse | |

A Chance Encounter

A Chance Encounter A chance encounter the other day Got me chatting to a stranger Just for some time to pass away. He was very well groomed, very smart. Spoke well too, seemed a decent sort. I told him a little tale I had learned whilst at work. Outside a building that’s up for sale Close to the centre of the town A queue of people gathered. Old clothes, hand me downs. Inside people of good heart and souls Were behind tables long. And a kind of soup was poured into bowls. A slice of bread was added to each one poured. As the hungry-eyed came through the door. As each one passed a thank you was heard. Grateful for the meal today. A simple reply least we can do. All was silent no complaints from the poor. Till a young voice said, ‘Please Mummy I want more.’ I sat back in my chair waiting for a reply. The guy opposite gave a big sigh. He said, ‘Things were tough in those days Very hard for the poor in the Victorian Age. They were ignored, did not count, How could others treat them like that?’ No-one should be without the means I say, To feed and clothe their children today. I looked at him and shook my head. My dear friend you misunderstand The tale was not yesteryear or a foreign land. I visited a local food bank the day before last. And like you I was taken aback. Unless with my eyes I had seen, The myth about scroungers I would still believe. Some get the dregs, others get the cream. This is Great Britain in 2013. But the people of our Nation are strong In times of strife they speak as one. ‘We are mighty as Caesar, mighty as Rome.’ ‘ NI CARBORUNDUM BASTARDORUM’


Details | Rhyme | |

Binge and Purge

Musta lost five pounds today
hunger hurts
but I suffer anyway
stomach shrinks 
along with guilt
hope this improves 
the way I'm built


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

They said her time had come- Death by insurance

They said her time had come
No place to run
No place to hide
No time for fun
Just an empty vessel inside
Going through the motions
Numb.
Overwhelming emotions
They said her time had come

They said her time had come
Evil coats
She wants to run
She desires to have fun
Not understanding why she can not play
It is now the month of May
Another denial letter
Another denial to get better
They said her time had come

They said her time had come
Why such looks of sorrow?
She doesn’t understand
For there is always tomorrow
Evil coats
She takes a breath
Smelling all of the flowers
No place to hide
Now literally an empty vessel inside
They said her time had come

Her time had come
Her bald head 
Just four years old
She looks to comfort from her mom and dad
Why do they look so sad?
Evil coats drag them away 
She never got that chance to go out and play
Beep. Beep. Beeep.. Bleeeeep….. 
The room floods with long white coats
Now to heaven this little girl floats
Her time had come

They said her time had come
She was just a name
No money, undeserving of fame
Easy for her to be denied
If only the suits had looked her in the eyes
Who is to blame? 
Sent to the free clinic
Now dead at four
No insurance
Ooops! What a shame…
She could have been saved
Now two parents at her grave
Once a happy family, now destroyed
Because THEY said her time had come


Details | Free verse | |

Christmas 2009

Recession made Christmas harder than ever before
Family’s splitting – money the core
Dad’s leaving to live on the street
So that young hungry mouths are able to eat
That some extra cash might be in the house
and children might learn what Christmas is about?
But without Dad gone, roof would be lost
for the bills are much higher – we can’t meet the cost
No longer can the average family budget
2009, jobs lost, even working struggle to afford it
Commercialism needs to stop building hopes and dreams
Childern don’t understand you are busting at the seams
Disappointment reigns as kids outside taunt and tease
No longer we fit in we’re all on our knees
Sinking. Even love has fallen apart
We don’t want this Christmas just haven’t the heart!
Expectation lower, depressions set in
Politicians not helping the hole we’re all in
Instead raising taxes they’ll crucify more
and this miserable life could be at your door
Will someone tell them that family should be together
sharing love, life, hopes dreams whatever they weather


Details | Verse | |

His Gentleness

He gently creeps into her room
to rest tenderly near her side
 while thoughts of melancholy zoom
 in  of his once vibrant bride
she's been there for him
so many, many years
he sniffles~and tries to hide 
the sorrow and the tears
she has been injured and hurt
but has lost the fight
she will not make it through the night
she will be in paradise by tomorrow's day
he reaches to sniff her best skirt
holds it tight~ it smells of her perfume
he drags over to the vanity to spray
her familiar scent around the room
he cradles her head within his arm
then musters an adoring smile as he whispers in her ear, 
"Time travels fast, and I will see you in a while, my dear"
He provides her warmth by stroking her hair
he wants to capture this image of her there
he wants this moment painted on the wall
so that he can always,always recall
how peaceful she seemed while adrift somewhere.

Copyright McCuen 2009


Details | Couplet | |

Cancer

Hate does not nearly explain what one feels When "cancer" strikes and life's joys it steals Randomly it comes to the young and old So often before life's stories are told God's reasons cannot be understood Faith commands the bad and the good I sit by his bedside and hold him tight Easing his passing with all of my might Sometime soon we may find the answer To this horrible scourge called cancer


Details | Dodoitsu | |

R I P

I’m sorry Mr. Johnson
The tumor is malignant
There is nothing I can do
In fear I Awoke

Time to go to the Doctor’s
Kenny is Always on time
“I’ll wait for You in the car”
I fear, leaving Home

Your very Quiet Today
This is just a check up, Right?
Chef, it’s just a check up, Right??
I fear the Future

Inspired By the Contest : “ Crystal Ball “
Sponsored by the “Sweetheart of POETRYSOUP” (and Me)
                      Linda-Marie

By HGarvey Daniel Esquire


Details | Free verse | |

death

Time fell fast 
Things became hard
Worries were vast
Lives begain scared

Hopes endlessly hidden
All things seemed forbidden
Days filled with darkness
Lives consumed and left sparkless

Awaiting the doom
Sitting only in gloom
Heaven wept
No souls were kept


Details | Free verse | |

Finally Forever Done

I’m on ground, while you’re in the clouds,
You’re in the then; I’m in the here and now.

How come our channels can’t get a signal?
But I still feel the pull of your chords.
Are you getting bored? 

Tired of me complaining and I’m tired of waiting!
For the things, that should come naturally, like trust, love, respect,and intimacy.
I’m afraid but prepared indefinitely. 

I know my new energy will bring forth something that’s healthy.
God’s already secured my wealth and my safety.
I’m finally, forever done.


Details | I do not know? | |

TIME

Time
is all I've got
and even though others wish
for more
I can not stand 
another minute

Time
Seem like I´m going backwards
and even though I wish
for a return
I am not likely
to find my way there

Time
trapped in a paralyzed body
and even though my family wish
for me to live
I can not find one
single reason to do so

Time 
captured in total emptiness
and even though you wish
to understand
I am not likely
to explain anyway

Time
hurts when one is waiting to die
and even though life may wish
to go on 
I can not see any
dignity in it


Details | Free verse | |

Pain

Your mind hurts, stung by worry needles,
Your trembling hands grab your bursting temples,
Your forehead is a flaming grill where thoughts entwine, 
Your lips are swelled and dry, they crack from every vine,
Your legs can't move because your feet are light as led,
Your hair roots feel as knives thrust in your head.
Your heart is pumping sand with rocks instead of blood,
Your memory encounters only  sad events singed with mud.
Your whole existence feels pitiful and grim,
Your body's a sombrero, pain dances on the brim.


Details | Light Poetry | |

HARD TO SEE

                                                                   Water In My Eyes

It’s hard to take off, when you’re left grounded.  Something lost I can’t find it.
 I can’t see my way anymore, I need a guide

                                               “Hard to see with water in your eyes”

A feeling that comes over you, it comes and goes 
Often now putting me to my knees, a thirst for knowledge has grown.
Interpretations given to me, I want to fly but I’m stuck on the ground is what I realized.
I can’t see my way anymore, I need a guide


                                                “Hard to see with water in your eyes”

You carry those you lost and offer you in their place, all you have are the memories a heart ache, a still picture of their face. Quest for knowledge you have shown, you can only save yourself when it’s time to kneel at the thrown. Interpretations given to me, still unable to fly I can’t see my way anymore, I need a guide


                                                      “Hard to see with water in your eyes”

Arms out reached in front of me, waiting for a touch back to assist and help guide me, I know your there even in the open air, as the breeze passes by pushing out the water in my eye.
 Looking to the sky before it drips drops and it freezes. As u notice only your sign the one only you can see. If you found it it’s meant for you to continue to believe. Before you know it you’re looking up into the sky. You see clearly through a dry eye. No more needs God has heard you and now he will guide you.

Walking a set path try to live a life right. God will always give you your way of sight.
Keeping faith is all for just such a reason. It’s nice to see through all life’s seasons. But almost daily it gets blurry and things change size.







                                                      “Hard to see with water in your eyes”
                                                                                 By Paul J Williams Sr
                                                                                 


Details | Ballade | |

In defense of the chook



The chook defense

Now I’m no vegetarian
Though I’d like that this could be
At seventy I’ll never change
So I’m just stuck with me
And I really love’s me chook
In every kind of way
But now I’m in the mood I’m in
I just have this to say…..

If we’re going to eat these chooks
Don’t we owe them some respect
We treat them like commodities
But what I might reflect
Is, if we treat these creatures thus
That God placed on this earth
Then we neglect our very souls
And too our own self worth.

Those birds are treated so damn mean
How can one understand
This cruelty, are we then humane?
It don’t look too damn grand
And where’s the goodness in a food
That’s never seen the sun
So when we treat these birds like this
What damage have we done?

That chicken flue was scary, once
But who knows much at all
About the karma that can come
From things, unnatural.
It’s time for changes in this world
When dosh is not the ‘all’
And then humane might be a word
That’s truly wonderful

10 July 2013 @ 1301hrs.



Details | Light Poetry | |

Cough Drops And Applesauce

Cough Drops and applesauce 
Is what the doctor gave to me 
I don't mean to complain 
But in my side 
I feel a great big pain 
And doctors orders I'll oblige
 It is bad enough 
Every day is getting tough 
And now I am just out of luck 
Stuck with nothing but a cough 

It's been driving me insane 
Living here in all this pain 
It has made my life a very hard thing 
I really don't want to complain 
But I've been left out in the pouring rain 
And tomorrow is another day 
Same to come, same old way  


Details | I do not know? | |

The Dumb Mother Award Gos Too

the dumbest mother, award goes too... dumb
me 
and why you may ask
because i am not home schooling right now
because my child my student 
fell softy asleep! during his math lessen today

i wanted to personally belittle him
and poke home with a learning stick      
and with a witchy voice say 
get up and open your eyes 
you can't get a job that way 

but i didn't do that, 
i just say are you sleepy 
and to my supreme surprise
he said in a most tired voice
Yes!

I just took him to the doctors 2 or 3 times 
and they found not one thing wrong 
the other is talking in his sleep too
and making sound so loud that 
he stop breathing and wake and talks
with words that could be made out to be anything
like words that are not of this the plant!

I want to wave my flag 
but there is not one to tell 
and what could keep my 
kids wanting to learn 
when there health is small and weak 
and there understanding that 
these who are to do no wrong 
just do nothing 
          
 aka:lyricvixen


Details | Haiku | |

deeply, the last rose

deeply, the last rose inhales for a final breath farewell her perfume


Details | Free verse | |

Tear in My Heart

My mother never knew what to do with me.
I was an obligation that needed to be. 
But I wanted her to love me.
Simply… love… me.
I would do anything to please her.
Wanting her to be proud, I worked hard at everything I did.
But she viewed me as her competition, not wanting to be out done.
Needless to say our relationship wasn’t what I wanted it to be.
I dreamed to have a family of my own to simply… love… me. 
I had a daughter who didn’t live. 
And my mom said someone like me shouldn’t have kids.
Though she didn’t know about my epilepsy and other problems with my health.
Then my life fell apart with hard times everywhere.
I didn’t show it but hidden…my health wasn’t all that good.
My husband’s diabetes affected his mind. And epilepsy was working on mine.
I ignored that fact. I worked hard as my epilepsy kept tearing every thing apart.
Finally with a hard earned job… Fourteen years later I had a son. 
The son I’d always wanted to have.
I was so very proud but was attacked by both health and son, at every turn.
He was wilder than most creating problems everywhere.
He blamed me for everything and everywhere something went wrong.
My health did it again at work as my relationship continued to crumble with my son.
He hated a mother who had to work, had epilepsy, and just wasn’t there for him. 
I was slowly dying when he was 12 and I was 52, when finally I was saved.
That night… I met God and he said I had more to be done along the way.
I came back and did every thing I could to help my wayward and unruly son.
But way before I helped him go to college… I knew I had lost my son.
But his best friend needed a mom so I was there for him.
It seems so strange to tell, but as my son moved out… His best friend simply moved in.
And it’s even stranger to tell that… 
The son who will occasionally smile at me, is someone else’s son.
He’s my heart-adopted son and has brought my first son closer again.
Jesus was always here and… the tear in my heart is gone.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The crying girl

A little girl's heard crying 
In her room at Mary kings close
Not everyone hears, only a few
If you listen carefully
You may hear her to
Let's call her little Annie
As no one knows her name
People leave her presents
To try and ease her pain
Pustules on her face they weep
Her body red and sore 
She prays each night the pain to stop
She can't take it any more
The pain it keeps her crying
At night it hurts the most
In 1645 Annie died of the plague
And what we hear now is her ghost


Details | Free verse | |

Four Smart Kids

Four kids
Four smart kids
Never fell below 90% in tests
Impressing people daily
Teachers pinching themselves in disbelief
Winning spelling bees
Maths competitions
Those same four
Were offered to go to university early
But they lost the offer
To a rich family with
A stupid child.

High school
A place of heartbreakers
Drugs
And Abuse
These four kids
Ran into a drug dealer
The dealer knew about their gift
So he got these kids high off weed 
claiming It was brain food
Another dealer sold them Vodka
Claiming it kept you going during
Long study periods

Before long
These four smart kids
Were just four dimwitted druggos
Smoking weed
Drinking cheap liquor
Twenty Four Hours
Seven days a week
These kids had potential
But it all washed away
Like a sandcastle on the beach
As the tide comes in
Good for nothing
But to end up like those dealers
Selling goods to smart kids
Like their former selves

Drugs destroyed these four kids
Don't let it destroy you


Details | Rhyme | |

Maladies

Are you among the ones that have health issues?
Whether physically, mentally where there is no hope thinking that there is no cure?
Well have to admit my earthly body hurts a lot.
Taking medicines, treatments, doctors opinions is all I got.

My inner soul is quite well by the way.
God has granted me another hour another day.
Spiritually many do not know the Father.
This is sad their path is wide while the Lord’s path is narrow this much I’ve gathered.

Right now this health problem is taking its toll.
My wife loves me and sometimes I think that she would be better off without me, I’m not healthy I’m old.
She loves me this I do know is it fair to her?
A budding younger man vibrant and healthy would be better for her, maybe a life changer.

I love her dearly because of my health is it fair for me to hang on?
She reminds me every day about love, God has put us together, and together we belong.
Pretty sad that I’m worth more dead than alive.
She reminds me about love of God and she won’t let me quit, we together will survive.

Married by God she reminds me for better or for worse.
In love having Faith we certainly have no curse.
Our Father knows the time of our demise.
My wife, my soul mate, my best friend says that the Lord is powerful and it will be alright.


Details | Imagism | |

I'm Always Around

I'm Always Around
by BJ Welsh

I'm not near, but I'm really not so far
If you look up I'll be the brightest star
Looking down upon God's project earth
Watching and waiting for a rebirth
When you speak I will always listen
My points will seem to shine and glisten
Giving you guidance when things seem tough
Steady now it may be rough
When we meet again someday
Be it there or far away

I'm here for now and always will
Never escaping, did you feel that chill?
My spirit wind brushed by your side
Or the soft, gentle wave pushed by the sea tide
When we meet again someday
Be it there or far away

You've given me hope and reason to breath
It's not yet time for me to leave
I'm that fluttering seagull upon the sands
Maybe I'm the reason for you to dance
When we meet again someday
Be it near or far away






Details | Free verse | |

Words No One Hears

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION

~JSLambert


Details | Free verse | |

NICOTINE DREAM

                                                     Nicotine death
                                                     devil in smoke 

                               shining in front your eyes with Harry potters
                                                 invisible cloak taking
                                                 Breath by breath with 
                                                      every smoke 
                                                       you'll choke

                                                        its no joke
                                         stop the smoke stop the smoke 

                  black
                                tar 
                  dimming 
                        a
                     inner 
                                star
                             shriveling
                                    lungs

                                          far to 
                                               young  bad tasting
                                                       tongue

struggling to 
     absorb air 

so you seek to sit down some where ,frantically stretching
to reach a near chair, with a mysterious fear, with the 
other hand wiping a single tear, and you can hear a 
loud chime and ringing ,as your swaying swinging and 
you whisper your last poem, that you never got to show EM!
 HE SAYS ......I shall never smoke again..... THE END
                  He in the arms of Gentle she.
                he watches his body from above
                              it was to late 
                Becoming smoke was his final fate....
                          ITS SAD TO SAY IT!

                              Grime in lungs
                     Grime took his time away
               with his wife and kids he couldn't stay 
                               I don't know but 
                              i am no hypocrite
                             but I decided to quit!


Details | Narrative | |

What's on the Cover

What's on the Cover
        by Amy Swanson


"Fat, fat, the water rat,"
the other children said - 
and she could never after
get that phrase out of her head.

Little girl would anxiously
await the time for play,
praying silently that they
would not tease her today.

Every recess was the same
and each day she would cry,
at times she felt so hideous
she wanted to just die.

She had to work three times as hard
to lose a little weight
while others could eat anything
that sat upon their plate.

She grew into her teen years
all too quickly she found out
that if her food did not stay down
no longer she'd be stout.

She knew that this was not the way,
a miserable eating plan;
but it made the teasing stop,
she even met a man.

She kept her secret very well
continued it for years
while going through life's motions,
hid behind her silent tears.

Folks would say "You're beautiful,"
but if they only knew
just what it took to stay that way
they'd have a different view.

Life goes on, and time went by
no matter how she tried
she never felt like she belonged
sometimes she sat and cried.

Society cares far too much
for lust of lovely things,
And those that don't like what they see
will quickly clip the wings

of someone else who won't conform
to this world's shape and image.
It matters not, their brains or heart,
it's more about the visage.

She raised her head and looked into
the mirror, with wet eyes
she shook her head and suddenly
she came to realize

she was as good as anyone
with so much love to give -
she'd died inside, a slave to scales
she now wanted to live.

She splashed cool water on her face
and made a solemn vow
today would be a fresh new start
beginning here and now.

This is not just one girl's story
many share her tale;
warnings of bulimia
oft met with no avail.

If only we could look beyond
the flesh of one another;
True value based on what's inside,
not what's on the cover.


Details | Limerick | |

AH, IF COLUMBUS

Ah, If Columbus had not sailed
for America: the new land,
cigarettes wouldn't kill
those feeling the chill...
many would be alive, not dead!


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Right Key

The other day You did pull those curtains back ever so gently as you exposed me to the light With your opening of windows I could breathe again The air rushing in I looked at you and a tear jumped from the corner of my eye I knew your love was never a lie For you’re the only one that has found the right key That key engages the happy me


Details | Rhyme | |

SHELTER YOURSELF FROM UNHAPPY THOUGHTS

Shelter yourself from unhappy thoughts and an unwanted sneeze:
think of sunshine when dreary days make you shiver...
winter is well-known for the deep sadness of its bare trees
and the absence of flowers and birds that were everywhere. 


Shelter yourself from unhappy thoughts,
don't a be victim of undesired frustration and loneliness,
take a long walk in the falling snow: see the fluffy snowflakes dance...
gladly accept godly gifts without bows. 


Shelter yourself from unhappy thoughts
by remembering the days spent on sunny shores:
those pristine beaches where the midday sun was strong and burned...
go back there by using your fantasy when you'll be bored.


Haven't I given you many useful hints how to avoid those so-hated winter blues? 
It takes little effort to shelter yourself from unhappy thoughts and never lose!


Details | Rhyme | |

I dont want to think about that

So what if i smoke, who does it hurt?
Why do you care what plant i choose to grow from the dirt?
I just want to laugh again,
I i just want to smile again,
Smile for something other then a family photo.
This is my crutch, this is how i cope..
This is how i tell my self that there is still hope, It could be my only hope.
My obi-wan-kanobi, the only one who knows me.
I don't know if your my savior but do believe your close,
you keep me laughing, you keep me off a rope.
mother why can't you see! 
This is so much more then dope!
It leaves a sour taste now because I know you don't approve,
there is so much worse things that i could use and abuse,
Don't you remember my friend Dillon? Don't you remember the news?
I knew he was getting into bad Sh*t but i just ignored the clues..
but f*ck, i don't want to think about that....
F*CK! I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT!
Maybe if i smoke this it will somehow bring him back..


Details | Lyric | |

Junkie

you know its wrong 
but you do it to overpower the pain
not strong enough to stay away from it
you would die without it
in its presence your heart knows no shame
even if you try to win the fight
your heart will overrule your mind
Theres nothing you can do
its chained to you
you cant get free
look what this drug did to you


Details | Lyric | |

What If Tomorrow Never Comes

I recall now the days when forever seemed but a short time The visits to the hospital, brought sad images to your mind She lay on a bed, cords all around her, no hair upon her head The cancer drove us crazy with worry tears and fright She was only a baby, I didn't get the chance to say goodbye Farewell until we meet again where you'll be waiting... waiting for tomorrow to come again. What if tomorrow never comes? How will I face the rising sun, when the moon is the only thing I can see? I need her here with me... The only loss I've ever known The only time that I've experienced this kind of sorrow... So what if tomorrow never comes? What if tomorrow never comes. And now I lie here thinking it through, memories flash through my head, memories of you Moments of a bittersweet time Reminiscing the days when you were mine The days when you were alive The tears come back to my eyes I feel the need to cry but nothing slides out I need to scream and shout, My emotions pour out as one, silently So what if tomorrow never comes? Reality in death is so hard to accept, I need my tomorrow to come... What if it never does? What if tomorrow never comes? How will I face the rising sun, when the moon is the only thing I can see? I need her here with me... The only loss I've ever known The only time that I've experienced this kind of sorrow... So what if tomorrow never comes? What if tomorrow never comes. Will tomorrow ever come? I just want to be awake when the moon becomes the sun I'm waiting here for you, in the darkness of the night. I wait still for you, forever the images will haunt my mind Tomorrow will come I'll soon be alright Tomorrow will come... Tomorrow has come... I can now see the sun.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Schizophrenia's Curse

My faith is a source of comfort
In the turbulent storm that has become my life
After all, God has graced me with special powers
But when it comes to my personal anguish, his ways are unknowable
I have managed to estrange almost everyone

Personal relationships collapse around me
But there is a man who loves me, somewhere across the world
Even though he claims he's never been interested
The poems he writes under a woman's name
Tell me all I need to tell myself is true

And I resent that he pretends I am an intrusion
While whispering the words of his true soul, elsewhere
If only his friends that call me crazy knew!
They would be humbled, to say I should be the one ashamed
And realize that they are the stalkers, not me

It cannot possibly be that those poems are actually written by the woman
It hurts, when people call me mentally ill
God cured my sickness, years ago
And has retained my prophetic abilities
Despite my repeated lies

No, I still have my gift
Which means that God has forgiven
He saw it as a tool for survival
In the rift of challenges from people who feign disinterest
But who carry me on in their heart

I will be your salvation
Please don't see my promises of eternal love as a threat
As a matter of fact, I'm growing impatient with you
Why do you keep lying about who you are and your feelings for me?
Why are you embarrassing me like this?

I contacted your work to tell them you were a liar
I put your address out, with threats to tell your wife
I knew it would draw you nearer to me
Because I am helping you get over your illness
You can pray it away, like I did.

That "friend" of yours is the devil in disguise
She will eat away at your soul
I cannot believe you let her say these horrible things to me!
It's so obvious that she wants to be with you
Even though she keeps telling me you are happily married

Wow, you are really starting to enrage me
With your insistence that you are not in love with me
And lying to fool a few people that you do not share my faith
You don't respond properly to threats of hell
But that is where you will end up, if you keep this company

I refuse to accept you for what you say you are
It's okay - I know the truth
And I love the real you unconditionally
People sickly claim that I cannot understand love
Now stop ignoring me, you monster!

Why are men so hard to understand
How can someone of faith be so blasphemous
I am your angel of light, your lamp
And you shut the door in my face
I will haunt you, for the rest of your life


Details | Rhyme | |

Clouded Thoughts

Intellect Sea
Foremost to me,
   Spreads far as my old eyes can see --
And past a dense
Fog of descent;
   Not forthcoming of common sense.
And through the clouds,
A blackened shroud,
   Where truth, unblemished, once did vow --

But now

I cannot see
In front of me...
   Confounded by the breath in me.


Details | Haiku | |

Sweet Love O' Mine

I bought a burger yesterday
It was very dry like the seagull bay
I pilled a lot of ketchup on it
and still dry it remained
I was very dissappointed
as i look at the dry damned thing
I ran to the toilet
and let out a HUGE
BLEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH
As chunks of the dry burger fell out of my pie hole
Landing into the toilet
Making dookie plop noizes
I'm done


Details | Sijo | |

Your Safe Now

<                         Safe Haven where others come when things go bump in the night
                              Abuse Homeless Protection Ordered   Greeted open arms
                                 Replacements of broken smiles caused by anothers demeanor act


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Emotional Hole

I did not find myself to be so important
So I ask my friends do I seem distant?
When I ask the question I had received an answer, Yes
So I think that made it clear that I had been not the best
I am a friend of a friend that talks so many things
That friend talks to much it is insane and insanity it brings
I do care, about my friends they are all good people
They tend to stand on their high steeple 
Today I find myself not so aware
Disbanding my fear of regret and care
Walking many different paths I see that I have found holes
It is the path that people choose to use to fuel their rage with coals
Coals are partially burnt wood or fossils a piece of fuel
It is the source of burden and fire a rage of emotions that stands cruel
It can be warm and caring, but it also can be baring
I just start to feel so low, below the ground I keep on staring
I reach for my friends so many times I feel so ignorant at times
Just once I feel I should not rely on them when feeling I can not find 
I dig my hole deeper and I can not climb out
For some reason I am just full of doubt
I care about so many things and what I have is confusion
One person should be all I should think about to get out of that illusion
My battle in my heart and mind is not at all so pleasant
I feel so alone in an island that is shaped like a crescent
My emotions is like coinciding with a diameter of the semicircle
Not a full emotion that is complete like a circle
My feelings is circular full of incomplete thoughts, so much deeper
I feel it will wake up my evil half a evil soul that is a sleeper
What question should I ask myself? to believe that I am not so alone
As I feel like a person who is deteriorating to the bone
I ask my friends the same question once again
I figure I should do it, to know what kind of feelings I should end
So many thoughts that come out of my feeling
I feel like my friends take, an emotional trauma of stealing
They ask me questions and I answer theirs
But when I need mine answered I feel burning inside like a flare
Are they even friends when they do not take me serious in anyway
Just put me in my hole cause I feel nothing in their will be getting in my way
It's just so simple to answer someones problem
I answer friends with beauty of a rose, but when they answer mine I get the stem
I know the stem is very important in life, with out it how can a rose be a rose
With a hole to put the root and stem in how can it grow
The words we speak I guess is like all natural things we reap and sow


Details | I do not know? | |

I want to come home

When can I come home my baby ask me
When mom can I be free
Your mistakes have got you here
Just hold on for a few weeks dear
I know it hard to be away
But you will come home someday
When mommy I want to come back with you
I know son I want you to come with me too
But it is not up to me it is up to you
You have to stay here till your treatment is threw
I will be with you all the way I will write and visit as often as i can
You have to be strong be mommy's little man
God will watch out for you when I can not
But even if I am not there your not forgot
So just hold on son it will be alright
You will be home soon so I can hug you thight


 For my son who is away at a boot camp for boys right now because of his actions at school 
he is bipolar and has add sometimes it is hard to watch what our children have to go threw 
and know there is nothing you can do to help except for pray. and hope that time and love 
will help. thanks to all my friends on the soup for giving me a place to vent my feelings some 
it means alot to write and know it is heard. Thanks to all Nita


Details | Free verse | |

Mind And Then The Body (Christmas 2009)

Christmas Day 2009,
I went to see my grandma for what I'm sure will be the last time,
I enter the code and into the door,
Into the lift to the second floor,
Past the T.V room and an eerie feeling tilted and odd,
The folks in Christmas hats are all on the nod,
The smell of a cheap roast n the stench of getting old,
And my grandma mumbles that the rooms too cold,
She wants to go for a walk but she doesn't know where,
She doesn't remember who I am...
It doesn't seem fair that she was once smart, feisty and bold,
Ive never, not once, thought I'll get that old..
Cant take it, Don't want to see it, the guilt, my grandma all alone,
She lost her mind, her bodies going and it all stated in an old peoples home.


Details | I do not know? | |

Letting Her Go

Fear runs through her entire body,
As she takes the dagger from her boyfriends case.
She quietly walks through the kitchen,
Writing a note telling him everything will be okay.

The open door lets in a cold winter breeze,
Her bare feet sinks deep into the snow.
She kneels on the ground holding the dagger in her hand,
And she thrusts it into her chest nice and slow.

The pain is excruciating but she keeps on going,
She feels the blood run down her fingers,
As she fights blacking out,
The dark begins to linger.

Her mind was made up,
But now she made the mistake,
She left her love behind,
She’s fighting to say awake.
She opened her eyes as wide as she could,
To look up into the face of her love,
He felt the warmth of her blood.

He carried her to the car,
And drove as fast as he possibly could,
Arrived at the hospital,
With thought he misunderstood.

“Why would she take her life,
She knows I love her so,
I never thought this day would come,
The day I had to let her go.”


Details | I do not know? | |

6 o'clock news

Black rose petals drift ominously to the ground under the moonlit sky
There sits a girl crying beside the body she once knew
I take her hand in mine and tell her she’s beautiful
Even with all her scars
Even with all her flaws
She’s perfect the way she is but does she believe me? I think not
A couple days later she’s on the 6 o’clock news
A couple days later the world has stopped for her
A life once so pure, now so full of self hate
Taken by the shadows of doubt
Taken by the shadows of self starvation
Taken until she wasted away
There sits a girl crying at what she sees in the mirror
With each handful of skin her heart fills with fear
I asked her to stop but got no response
Her mind is made up her body has lost
All turns black, she’s barely alive, can’t open her eyes
The tubes in her arms are how she’ll survive
A couple weeks later she’s on the 6 o’clock news
A couple months later she sees a new light
The road to recovery is a long way’s away 
The road to recovery is what saved her that day
But now when I see her I remember that girl
She cried out for help and nobody came
She was taken away by the shadows of doubt 
She was taken away by the shadowy depths of self starvation
She was taken away until she wasted away
Would it be different if somebody cared?
Would it be different if you had been there?



Details | Ballad | |

Last Days in Maine

I am powerless in mind and within my body,
This alcohol has got me down and I am paralyzed,
The world in which I call home cannot be analyzed,
All through this drink, with this I have declared my hobby.

My Friends do not respect me to which I cannot blame,
I am depressed beyond recognition and with it I feel shame,
Years without and years repressed and years I call lame,
Not one happy relationship, not with family or dame.

Salvation is coming and I keep telling myself bleakly,
Each day my sanity goes through hoops only to survive meekly,
The end has only that alcohol to calm my stress,
This alcohol feels as if I am saved from the rest.

I'm almost there and almost free from this asylum,
My friends around seem to care not even some,
I'm losing the fight even when both sides are done,
Three days until I'm home again...any longer and my life be gone.

(I survived and am now much healthier)


Details | Rhyme | |

The Inner Person

Saw you standing there
A new kid, from who knows where
Judged you by your looks and words
And immediately thought you as weird as nerds

Saw you sitting there
Alone and sad,
Eating your lunch, and at everyone you were mad
I wondered why, 
Why am I out casting someone whose story I do not know 
Why did I make fun of you, and treat you as a foe
No even knows who you are
And from everyone, you are so far

I walk over and you look away
I'm sorry I started to say
But you stopped me and said it's okay
We talked and I learned
That the inner you had for so long yearned
The company of a friend
Who will listen and be there for you till the end

You had cancer and time was coming to an end
So you wanted someone that you can spend
The last few joyous weeks of your life
That will no longer be filled with strife

I'm glad we got to meet
Even if you don't roam the earth anymore with your two feet
You fly in the sky, in the heaven
And I can hear you talk, when I listen

The deep and inner person
That from everyone is usually hidden
Needs someone, a friend, who will help him or her smile
And I know, learning the inner person of each person, 
Will always be worthwhile.

©


Details | Terza Rima | |

THE INCURABLE SOCIETY'S ILLS

Two scales must always be within an approximate range
for an accurate weight, and the close relationship
between the Humankind and God must withstand any change.


Solutions must be found before catastrophe approaches,
and if we were caught by surprise, we would regret the outcome;
less trees should be cut down to make room for buildings.


Thieves, murderers and rapists should be held in contempt
and thrown into dungeons...instead of giving them cosy cells,
the Law admits that's just to punish, but inhumane to torment.


Nightly streets have been taken over by muggers, drug dealers
and prostitutes, now called escorts, haven't changed their lewd attitude;
even madams of the brothels open doors for the well-dressed sirs.


Society has gone mad, and it has condoned both sexes of equal desires;
never was Sodom and Gomorrah as iniquitous and lustful as this one;
God forbid...I entered this city and be found guilty of their perversions!


While on the outskirts, in run-down homes poverty duplicates its horrible woes,
politicians' corrupt hands are not seen...pocketing money that Congress approved; 
and the suffering of the poor is plagued by famines that turn into deadly diseases.


Crooked judges are manipulated by criminal defense lawyers who have handfuls of cash;
justice can never be served when criminals are given their parole, and the innocent, 
humble men are detained and put behind bars, because of their limited wealth.


Proud hearts see neither simplicity nor beauty in anything that evolves into splendid light; 
self-praise, greed, bluntness and invulnerability are the rules they live and swear by;
humbleness is unacceptable and insignificant...it's a virtue which diminishes their pride. 


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Couplet | |

Running away for love

This could change my life.
He knows all i want is to be his wife.
I'm so ready to be gone,
I'm so sick of feeling alone
Should i stay or should i go?
I ask my best friend and she says "hell no"
Its not like I'll be gone forever
Only one more year and we'll be back together.
Its a fresh new start,
With someone i love with my whole heart.
So many thoughts in my head
as i lay on this cold stiff bed.
I just want to be in your arms,
Just so scared of who this all harms.
My hand shakes as i write about this decision,
Like a new doctor making his first incision.
In my heart its a 100% yes
But in my head I'm thinking 'is this the best?'
All the thoughts of this goin right 
Out wieghs the thoughts saying 'this isnt so bright'
Finally out of the madness
No more having so much stress.
No more screaming in my face
Finally ill be in the right place
Just hoping they accept me into their home
Because God knows i cant do this alone.
This isnt a maybe
are you ready baby?


Details | Rhyme | |

BATTLING ADDICTION

The uncontrollable urge to indulge is always there,
but will the feeble mind be more tempted by smell...
or by seeing that dark and clear liquid in bottles that seem to stare?
" Keep away from them, foolish man...don't go through days of Hell! "


That voice rushes from inside becoming harsh and extremely loud
enforcing it's punishment when temptation begins,
" Alcohol is poison for the blood...it's like a river turning into mud! "
" Get rid of every bottle, keep your valued friends! " 


It's a battle of good intentions versus harmful want,
and through the length of abstinence and agony,
one is happy to win it with much pride and dignity
by getting back the will and strength that won't daunt.         


Details | ABC | |

How I Feel

The way i feel is weird 
I feel death coming very near 
I feel this dark feeling 
I think i stop breathing 
When I cry it rains blood 
But my pain feels like mud 
I feel sad 
But at the same time I feel mad 
I don't know what to do 
I feel like a foo 
i feel black
I think i stared bleeding from my back 
I feel dead 
I just want to get blast in the head 
The way i really feel is emo 
And my emotions won't help it


Details | Free verse | |

I Do Not Want to be Napoleon

                   about veteran of the war
                    who has schizophrenia

    I hear again and again voices.
    They come to me from nowhere.
    I try to close my ears.
    It doesn't help,  the noises are there.

    I am proud; I want to be a winner.
    Sometimes, I am Napoleon, the Commander.
    But, I am lost; I am a loser...
    It is then I feel I am no one.

    The doctor said it is illness
    Always in sorrow and sadness.
    Imprisoned in my brain.
    I am tired from hallucinations.

    I don't really want to be Napoleon.
    Want to be healthy and willing to be happy,
    I don't want to be anyone else.
    I want to be a normal human being.


Details | Free verse | |

Inter States of Being

"What are these people

doing in my living

room?"

 

A querulous, trembling,

serious query

 

furrowed anxious brows

 

fear floods

        his toes –

 

"What are they doing

         here?"

 

The people who weren’t there just

watched him,

arms crossed

motionless

silent

 

They just stood there

 

        and watched him

 

Across the room,

across wide, saddened, tear-drenched miles,

 

A sister

   calls 911

 

from another state

of mind than his

 

He’s afraid of them –

 

She’s afraid for him –

 

                                               Helpless


Details | Couplet | |

Invisible's Invincibility

I am an invisible man.
Try and see me if you can.

Shy and quiet I remain alone.
Silent is my voice’s tone

No one can feel my pain and sorrow
As I hide inside of my burrow. 

Shadows consume my body and soul
As I embrace the misty cold. 

The reason for my unseen being
Lies in the fact I hate being seen.

This life and existence’s of my own choice
And I choose not to have a voice.

I am silent. Invisible. Inexistent.
Yet I am invincible, an immortal being


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Son Is Autistic Part 1

This day I awoke, I had spent nights up before, 
till the point my body is what gave in. 
One would say I was probly depressed, 
but I like to think I spent it, 
asking myself what I already knew. 

I can remember feeling, 
love, shame, anger and happiness, 
all after opening my eyes, 
i wanted to but i couldnt bring myself to cry. 

I manged to get dressed, 
and while it seemed like forever, 
before I knew it, 
it was time to go. 

The ride there, was drivin in silence, 
neither of us realy talked, 
the music singing sounds, 
that I couldnt realy hear. 
I have never felt so alone 
and I asked myself...can I do this? 

When we arrived, I prepared myself, 
only for what I already knew. 
they greeted me with honesty, 
and a calming I can't describe, 
and i wonderd if, 
perhaps Kim had felt this way. 

They spoke with words they probly didnt think I understood, 
but have been through so many tests myself, 
now my child was the one, 
the one about to be labled. 
I had to ask myself "Is this my fault?" 

I would like ta say when they told me, 
I broke down and cryed, 
the truth is I felt nothing, 
and I began to ask myself why.


Details | Didactic | |

Untaken Advice - 2002

She can't remember a woman who gave her ever so great advice
Instead of taking it, she risked her life on a dice
She told her how to respect and love herself in her youth
She didn't tell her what to do; it was her decision to choose
She warned her of dangers of the streets and drugs
She warned her not to go past kisses and hugs
She didn't listen; she hit the road and tried some smack
And on and on it went, and there was no coming back
She then got sick from an angry man who raped it her
She lost her mind, she was crashing, but too late to get clean.
And the young woman died from the sickness at only nineteen
The woman heard about the her death and thought it was a dream
If only she had taken a thought to the wise woman's words
She could have been saved if she had listened to what she heard


Details | Free verse | |

The Dying Limb

So tightly squeezed shut
Is the flow to healthy flesh,
That might by your release 
Ramble back and return again.

The tireless dancer sends an echo,
Desperate, pressing,
Pulsing into the vice
So far from home.


Details | Free verse | |

Moved

facing the first time
her wheel-chaired son on the move
saddest vale of tears

driving his wheelchair
his face splashes happiness
enjoying his ride

watching two people
having their own point of view
I can relate to

we meet now and then
all those years I saw his smile
ten inspiring years 

an impressive guy
cleaning his second wheelchair
for tomorrows ride 

Note: 11.30.2012: message from his wife: "I did not expect my husband to be "on the internet' in such a unusual and also very special way. You have touched me very  deeply with your poignant poem.  Thank you so very much."


Details | Acrostic | |

BP: Brutal Performance

Broken       “Perfect”       
Blowout      Preventer
Billowing    Petroleum
Burning       Profusely

Bodies          Paining
Burning        Peeling
Bleeding       Pleading
Buried           Passing

Blighted       Preserve
Bayous         Profaned           
Beaches        Polluted
Biosphere     Poisoned

Banned            Products
Boats               Parked
Businesses       Pinched              
Breadwinners  Penniless

Beleaguered      President
Bluntly               Proposed
“Billions             Promptly”
BP                        Provided

British               Petroleum
Blind                 Profiteers
Bloody              Pumpers
BRUTAL          PERFORMERS!

British               Petroleum
Broke                Permits
Betrayed           Public
BRUTAL           PERFORMANCE!


Details | Quatrain | |

Dying Everyday

Sickness spreads into my head
My Bones are thus infected
Nostrum is the only thread
Which keeps my life connected

Though I’ve wandered, I am not lost
Perhaps I’m just misplaced
My Ills begotten, merely forgotten
And yet I’m not erased


Details | Couplet | |

Surgery

Lost, following darkness at an exaggerated speed.
 Feeling helpless with an ever growing need.

Trying to catch your breath with a tremendous scare.
 Its there, all you have to do is inhale the air.

Panic is an unwelcome, yet familiar friend.
 Dear God, tell me this isn't the end.

He isn't even six weeks old and here he lays. 
 Death banging at the door, chased away by she who prays.

Thank you for competent nurses who love their job. 
 Thank you for that stranger to hug you while you violently sob.

I love you more every day that I see my son's bright smile.
 You really never left me, you were there all the while.

I owe you my son's life and that broken piece of my heart.
 Thank you for not taking him away and ripping me apart.




Dedicated to God......


Details | Bio | |

At the bottom of your glass

I weep tears filled with the memories
All the joy when we first wed
When we'd stay up all night talking
In our matrimonial bed

We'd dream and plan our future
Between our nocturnal fun
Never thinking about sleeping
Until we saw the sun

Those night were full of magic
Hope and trust for the unknown
All the day time spent together
Building family life and home

With a blink of time we were three
and we dreamed of being four
but we never heard the evil
that was knocking at the door

We didn't see it coming
Or hear tap tap at the door
But I knew that it had found us
when I saw you on the floor
with our child curled up with you
when she was just one year old
just wanting her sweet mother
to stop her feeling cold

Was this evil sent to hurt me

Retribution for my past

But it seemed to be more happy
At the bottom of your glass


Details | Rhyme | |

Acid Dawn


Let us rest our heads upon the pillow of denial, turn twilight in the last clear reflection of the silent moon. Where vile droppings fell the freshness of the morning sea, turn to graveyards, lest we be; 
...swimming in an acid dawn.

The corpse of shellings, scales a strewn, where once transparent was so blue,
this morning features scarlet hue, as skin is shredded in the burning morn. 
Where vile droppings fell the freshness of the morning sea, turn to graveyards, 
lest we be;
...swimming in an acid dawn.

...And come mid sun up, we shall bathe; 
within sulfuric, petrol waves and drink our lemon juice until we choke. 
Till our teeth rot and our tears evoke, the pandora’s box which we awoke. 

An orange bright, our arid plight, and we the specks of dust behind;
lurching a dehydrated, evaporated existence. Famine on our minds.
Walking footsteps which no longer walk, dreaming of the past to escape the future as the present seeps our blood and marrow, the desert sun, a piercing arrow, stabbing at our hearts.

We hobble, oh we hobble and we hobble through the wasted years, through bones and makeshift graves, we’ll hobble into the final age;
where vile droppings fell the freshness of the morning sea, turn to graveyards,
lest we be;
...swimming in an acid dawn.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is estimated that within the next decade or two that the ocean will become so acidic as to dissolve the shells of mollusks and shellfish.  This in addition to the already dwindling supply of precious fresh water which we must share with our animal friends.  A supply by the way that we contaminate regularly, a supply that simply cannot be renewed. 

Desalination was looked upon as the next great solution to water shortage despite it's expense. However considering how the oceans are becoming increasingly polluted due to oil spill after oil spill and Fukushima's constant radioactive leaks, in addition to the acidification of the ocean itself, it appears that we will have no viable water to look forward to in the future. 

This is life.  Forget profit, it doesn't exist.  Nature has no concept of wealth, only of survival. If we all die, everything that we've accomplished will be forgotten, nature has no use for it. Currency will return to being simply paper and stone, and nothing else.

We need to stop thinking about ourselves and think of our children and all the other species that live upon the earth.


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

I Don't Care

<                                      1 - 800 - 895 - 4999 ~ will get you there
 
                                        Hello operator can you help please with my ~ Lights Out ?

                                        Let's see  ~ name on bill ?  your address ?  I'm starting to doubt

                                        Gee Weez ~ I know  I owe -  But please act like you care ......






Entry For
Dane Ann Smith - Johnson's Contest
Lights Out
G.L. All

                                        

                                        

                                        
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                         


Details | Senryu | |

Malady Lady

Blackened and twisted,
she spews words full of hatred
in her cries for help


Details | Free verse | |

Assisted Living

Life is down to no-frills necessities
in a room with the chest of drawers,
double bed and television.
The walker stands in the corner
waiting to be used to get to the dining room,
the social activity three times a day.
The nurse's aide, with her lilting Haitian accent,
comes around to check during the day:
time for meds, channel change? a walk
down the hall? a glass of juice?
You know that you mustn’t drive a car.
The house is gone, and so are its furnishings,
let's face it, life is over.
Grandchildren come to visit,
sighs of relief when it's over.
Dreams of the past when life was real
occupy time until dinner and bed.


Details | Rhyme | |

Astheneia

She tries to raise her right, hoping to win the good fight
Praying that her daughter is safe and trying to feel right
Never seems considered with the unimportance of everything
If love were items, get a bigger table for what she brings
Her heart and mind are full but inside seeming to disagree
She never asks for anything more than days being pain free
Life was not ever given and she does not expect it will be
But everyone knows life is not meant to be lived in misery
One day she will get to the bottom of what is plaguing her
School and work are diversions in between times to recover
She is open-heartedly candid and singular in a lot of ways
Living her life under the sun looking for any sort of rays


Details | Free verse | |

Camille

Wake up to find its not just a dream, 
the morning rips a new wound of reality. 
Forever gone, Forever missing, 
All the regrets building up inside of me. 
I could have been better, 
cause you were the best, 
I love you with everything 
now you took your last breath. 
You went, happily 
and chased the birds over that rainbow bridge, 
I hope your watching from above c
ause when you left you took a part of my heart

...RIP My Beautiful Puppy. I Love You Camille Baby?


Details | I do not know? | |

Young Heart

From my youth,
I knew no goodness 
Teach me His truth
So that I will meet success

I hope I'm making little progress

From my youth,
I knew very little at first
Teach me Your truth 
Or I'll remain in thirst

I thirst for His spirit - to renew my faithfulness

I have a nourished heart
But, evilness broke it apart
I had an energetic soul  
But agony took its toll 

And now I pray
To Him who mends us all
To save my young heart
From the fear of losing control...

Do I still have an innocent, 
Young heart? 


Details | Quintain (English) | |

A Mind Lost in Time

Can’t live with a mind that’s lost in time What’s the sense in living Can’t remember what I did yesterday Then what’s the sense in you forgiving Not sure where this life is heading Not wanting to end up forgetting and regretting But what is this life how do I live If the world I live in can’t forgive Cause time has taken my memories away Not a thought of yesterday or today My life feels incomplete…. I’m not trying to face defeat But what other choice do I have My life is not my own anymore it’s sad Oo yes poor me this life I have to live without memories


Details | Senryu | |

Can You Help Me I'm Lost

lost and weary soles
looking for their better half
at Auschwitz bone yard


Details | Personification | |

Anorexia the Impostor

Sneaky
Deceitful
Calculating and cruel
It poses as your friend
Offering comfort 
Strength
A sense of achievement.

It isolates 
Jealously guarding the relationship
Until it infiltrates 
Every cell of your being
And claims you 
As its own.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Lunatics Reverie

I knew you wouldn’t leave me for long.
Loathe the maverick? I would do, but
Mummy always told me not to hate.
You and I shall be friends, 
Resting forever in this rapture.

How quaint,
Those dark intricacies become you,
Woven gently into that blanket of yours,
Such a beautiful blanket…
Subject to availability of course.

Dear diary, dear diary,
Chicken nuggets for tea today.
I’m just a poor little baby,
Silly siege mentality, foolish Freudian shadow,
Your bittersweet halo scorches my skull.

We fooled them. 
Content with false dominance,
Deceived by my dirty Pavlovian response, 
Nature taught me her old trick, how to exploit shallow beauty,
Like the enticing skin on rancid fruit,
To hide the rot within.

There’s no need to get cocky,
I need some time alone, its tiring 
Constantly weaving this immaculate dance,
Counterfeit angels, emerging demons, 
I’ve found a flaw in your game,
Now speak nicely, count to ten, use your indoor voice,
 
I feel suffocated, 
Smothered inside your brittle inferno, 
Soft collapse and rigid rebellion,
Choking on the flames, 
Burnt breath, hot noise,
Like the touch of lasting whispers,
Breaking into shivering dust, ashes
…to ashes.

Ripped screams, flailing limbs.
A difficult birth. 
Who’s the parasite? 
No matter, 
we’re both bound 
by our perverse umbilical cord. 
Let me feed, 
and in turn I shall let you tighten 
Your soothing collar around my
Th...ro…a…t.


Details | Acrostic | |

OCD

Offering of sanity in a crystal vial.
Cleansed with the essence of a childhood lost.
Down the drain. Left a stain.
Opposing forces overtake the senses.
Clarity and peace – a figment of twisted imagination.
Down the drain. Nothing to gain.
Overload of obsession.
Counting, counting, counting numbers and names.
Down the drain. Very last grain.
Opening the facial cavity in a cry for help.
Crying gets you nowhere.
Down the pain. Nicotine train.
Over-used lungs.
Cigarette butts.
Down the pain. Down the pain.
Obsessive
Compulsive
Disorder


Details | Rhyme | |

Portraits Young and Lovely Fair

I turned away the light of truth,
though bright it shines eternally;
as I now search the dark of youth
for life devoid of history.

Born filled with primal fear inbred
(a wingless mountain butterfly)
who waited trapped by wretched dread,
within mad vision graves, to die.

A body bent by rhythmic birth
sucked marrow out of bone and brine
as wounds leaked blood back into earth
for earth gives refuge to Divine.

The fragile cuts were foul and spent
but no stitch thrown seemed obvious;
its fabric labored, torn and rent
by images grown spurious.

And this we carry to our graves
in extant bliss of ignorance.
No worry worth the time it saves
before the black of permanence.

A life once sewn with threads of smoke,
(translucent trend in lunacy)
is but illusion's buried yoke
of veiled and failed transparency

--


Details | Free verse | |

Slavicode

my words are not real
my verb task nothingness
my sentences are coded
because in vacuo
touched by the evil
I am transparent object
I am the putrefactive future


Details | I do not know? | |

Port of Call

Port of Call


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

with the breath of the ocean a caressing balm,
soothing pained memories away,
to the swaying of a solitary palm.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

feeling the brushing away of all past turmoil,
on a quest for solace, ever so hard to find,
yet comforted by the crashing of the waves,
as the tide cleanses all pain,
and leaves despair far, far behind.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

drenched in a sea-breeze of mist,
that hushes the ache of bygone moons,
tasting the salty tang on my lips,
as the burnished sun,
over the distant horizon,
swoons,

and dips.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

searching, ever searching,
for a slice of solitude,
as memory bids a final adieu,
reaching under the sea so vast,
and seeking comfort in the depths,
while embracing,
the tomorrows to come,
wishing that they be true.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

seeing my truths drown,
as they slip beneath the turquoise waters,

feeling my heart ablaze,
with a passion that rarely falters.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

yet knowing that I am home at long last,
wishing the waves would wash away,
the defences that once stood,
like an impregnable wall.


Barefoot on a talcum beach,

alone, not lonely,

I have found, at long last,

my final port of call.


Details | Free verse | |

I'LL SMILE 4 U

Stroll through the Illest Empire
So much heat feeling like we’re living in the fire
But we’re living under fire
Tell me how many shots must it take before my loved ones are crying at my own wake
Its time for a break from sad eyes I’ve seen grown men cry
It hurts to tell a loved one good-bye
It’s the same reason why they died
Hearts just too full of pride
Mothers praying their young’n wont be a victim of a homicide
Too many drive-bys blood shed for a block you really can’t call mine
Wishing we could turn back time
High off of nickels’ and dimes
Making moves to boost your grind looking for hope
But the hustle got us in a head choke
Don’t blame me for acting crazy cause this how the streets made me and you
To watch our back and throw bows and cuss
Cause you got to be tough when times are rough
I know your asking when will enough be enough
And truth is I don’t know but this is how it goes down
But if I make it out will you smile for me now

So many families struggling with poverty
I don’t judge cause that use to be me
Watching mom come home late
Barley any food on our plate
So young and life we already hate
Praying God bring us something great
My clothes were cheap imitates and kids called you on them for being fake
Knowing mom bust her ass to provide
But all your knock offs you begin to hide
Ashamed of what you own
I know how you feel I been there too
I see mothers walking there kids to school
And the walk is far when you cant afford a car
Mom hoping one day you’ll be a star
I know about being next to poor
Your local neighborhood liquor market is your grocery store
Wishing you didn’t have to go through that living off of food stamps
Cube the neighborhood is a trap but we’ll all be free
So smile for you and me

Even 2pac said smile for me
This isn’t how its always going to be unless you let it be
In our different way we’re all a G
Cause we’re trying to make it straight legit
Whatever your hustle never quit but don’t lose yourself in it
Cause you still got a long ways to go
Still got a long time to grow
Use what you know to get by or you wont survive
Remember to always keep your dreams alive
Whatever it is just do it and never try
The limit is the sky so keep your heads held high
And when you come to a hard road just always know nothing can keep you down
You’ll be able to come back around
So give yourself a chance
And I’ll smile for you now

JUNE ‘06
B.K.M.jr


Details | Imagism | |

@#**!MANIAC@#***!!!

I came face to face with a basket case
and yet stayed in place despite wanting to step back a pace.
His eyes glowed with a blue as cold as ice
and i did not move for fear of the price.
I stood my ground not making a sound
 as he did the same not looking around only staring me down.
So i spoke,comming to a choke
and as silence was broke his lips mocked mine as to joke.
No more i stated as i assesed and contemplaited,
nor did he as he patiently waited.
Deciding this was a test,one to be graded,
i set to do my best or leave more jaded.

      (so i spoke yet again to my odd but familiar friend)
 I don't know what your problem might be
as you stand there and stare.
 Trying to look so frightening,
i hope you're aware that i am not scared.
      (His lips yet again repeated the god awful sin)

He mocked sankronizingly every word i had said.
I shouted,don't patronize me and don't try to get in my head!
Yet once again,he mouthed what i had sang.
I sprang with a blow that landed in a bang.
I began to weep at what i discovered through my tears,
for the blood of my knuckles covered a broken mirror.


Details | I do not know? | |

Your Name Is Misery

Your name is misery
here to haunt me in my dreams
In my waking hours and in my sleep
Nightmares and worst fears 
of course you can make them come true
For

Your Name Is Misery

You are the demon 
That called himself a dad
You are my illness, my shame, guilt and pain
I cannot shake you 
I try to run but you always catch me
I try to hide and you find me

Your Name Is Misery

You are the cause of my pain
I used to blame myself 
But lately I have found I am not the one to blame
I was a child
Innocent and helpless
when you took my dignity, my life my sanity

Your Name Is Misery

You have presented yourself in many forms
The school counselor who tried to violate me
The Father figure who molested me
The strangers who forced themselves on me
A gang paid to rape me
A Fiance who beat me 
And killed the child inside me
The voices that torment me

Your Name Is Misery

You have so many faces 
It would take my whole life to paint a picture of you
And quite frankly 
I don't want to waste my time on you
I just want to forget you

Your Name Is Misery

I wish I could get away from you
Break away from your grasp
Take away the control you have over me
I hate being under your spell
I hate the pain you constantly cause me 
I hate crying because of you
I hate the darkness you bring with you
Most of all 
I hate you

Your Name is Misery

That is no lie
There is no mistake 
You bring havoc, drama, and chaos 
All the things I despise 
I don't want you near me
I don't even want to look you in the eye

Your Name is Misery 

I am afraid of you 
I can't stand you 
most of all 
I am mad at you 
for you have made my life a living hell
But no more 
I am cutting you out 
I have never wanted you around
It is high time 
I got rid of you 
It's time to stand my ground
I am going to take you down
I don't need you
I never want to see you 
Get out of my life 
For I am not going to let you bring me down
You are not welcome here 

Your Name Is Misery

By: Jean Shular


Details | Free verse | |

This Secret Thing

This secret thing
grew in your breast --
a dark lump of terror
which you revealed to no one;
it ate through you,
as moths eat through
a bit of fine lace,
until it became, finally,
too terrible to hide.
Now, even the cold scalpel,
which leaves less than it takes
of what you were once,
cannot excise the horror.


Details | Elegy | |

FINAL NESTING BOX

You lay in the wooden cot,
a broken sparrow,
Crushed. Bony. Frail.
Hair once plumed gold,
greyed to clumped feathers
like ragged  trampled wings,
strawed out on the dank pillow.
Face once blushed pink plump,
Jolly kind of soft with life,
Sucked to bone. Nose to Beak.
Echoes of the mask it will soon become.

I stroked this woman 
now bent back to foetus pose.
Once sworled to shell, 
wrapped inside myself,
Safe.
Now boned to carcass stick.

I wanted to hold one more time,
my child, 
frightened the last air would puff to nought from its hollowed breast.
But my sparrow turned and smiled,
a grimace to crack open any gates of envisaged hell.
Macabre teeth, once glowing love and laughter to the skies,
Now pecked to ochre stalks.

The pitiful bird pained to move.
Mucous mouth clacked open wide
To receive some lasting morsel of life.
Only its beady blue gaze 
flashed a soul of its former self, 
eyes to haunt the sea.
I swallowed back my tide of tears,  
waves of memory flooding sands of life we’d shared,
from fledgling dawn cry to this,
the final nesting box.

I wanted to stuff this cot with down 
of a million eider.
To cosset and hold soft this scrawn, gnawed through. 
Pluck teal, goose, swan.
‘Who would have thought it would come to this?’ it croaked a laugh.
I matched smile with smile.
I held the tiny claw.
Desperate not to cling too much to pain, 
too much to past.

I wanted to wrap up this dying bird 
Limp, in my hanky.
White folded white, fold on fold.
Run through the streets
shouting at the world, at some unseen power.
NO. 
She’s mine. She’s safe. Take me. 
What cruelty did I do?  
What evil must be stuffed in this maternal breast
To hold this daughter dust in my arms?


Details | ABC | |

when a woman leaves a girl

after all,a woman's mistakes are different from a girl's
they are etched by fire on stone
they are in fact considered traits, not just errors
and now you're so alone
when you were 14 they all said how much potential you had
now you hit 19 or 20, and you're just considered bad
if you were a troubled kid, things were different than most for you
and i don't mean GETTING in trouble,although for some,it's that too
but depression is so very real,they just have no idea
and looking in the mirror to feel,you must skip your next meal
you are never good enough,and always fall just short of pretty
although you are considered smart and extremley funny and witty
they way that you percieve yourself,is different than what others see
at least that's what i have been told,do you agree with me?
but why is it that when your younger,people just want to help
but once you reach 19 or 20,your just dealt the cards your dealt
i don't feel any different inside,i can tell you that for certian
the older i get,the less they care,i hide behind a curtain
i'm still a kid at 21,at 22 as well..
im still a child in alot of ways,living in an emotional hell
where did all the helping hands go,the ones that were there before
i blame myself for not taking that help and will forever more
because now apparently,it's too late,nobody cares about me
i am not a cute little girl,just a woman who needs to be free
i ask of you,human to human,the next time you want to judge
pray for patience if you need to,ask for help from above
but something tells me im not alone,there are others who experienced this
there are others out there that need help so badly,please don't miss
don't miss their smiles,that are still so young,even though they look so grown
at 21 we are not adults,and pretending we are makes us feel alone
maybe i AM alone in this feeling,i have no idea
but what i do know,for sure i feel...this is very real.


Details | Free verse | |

The Love That Hurts

The greatest joy I have ever known is knowing you are calling on Monday at five thirty in
the morning before school.
"Hello, how are you?" and "I'll talk to you later."
Every word from hello to goodbye is cherished.

Your smile makes me warm inside, and how much you mean to me puts tears in my eyes.
I really think I love you. Actually, every fiber of my being is pretty sure I love you.
Warmth and acceptance and peace and deep contentment...
But there is a drawback.

I fear to loose you.
You are across the country, a thousand miles away, and I've let you down enough to
encourage you to focus on your college work, because that's important to you. and because
of that, it's important to me.

Except I can't encourage you to leave.
I can't encourage you to go.
Reader, my dear friend, as selfish as it is, I can't loose you.

I always thought that when you found the one you want to be with, the love would make
everything work.
I never expected it to hurt
Because as much as I love you, it would destroy me if you were lost. And I think about
loosing you a lot.
It's crippling, and horrid, and with something as unrealistic as daydreams, I know what it
feels like to burn. I can't imagine what it would do to me if it actually happened.

I am afraid to love you. I'm afraid to pick up the phone sometimes when you call, but not
for any amount of money in the world or any incentive would I ignore that phone.

The reason for that is that i love your laugh.
When I'm talking to you, you help clear my mind and I can think.
And the biggest reason, Reader, is because I am happy when I talk to you.

I love you. And you are precious beyond words and you are everything to me.
I have a love that hurts and it scares the crap out of me
And I wouldn't trade it for the world.


Details | I do not know? | |

Glory

This is the story of a beautiful horse named Glory Freckled and spotted She stood but a twig Lost in a forest Of abandonment Tires and barbwire Surround her by day And at night she suffers The coyotes cries, not far away Left with no food Or water to drink She stands by a tree And hopes for relief Halter grown in And hooves overgrown Not a grain in that belly And left all alone Withering quick She stands by her tree And hopes a kind soul Will help her to see There is life still No matter how grim Things seem from beneath This horrid, old tree This halfhearted twig Awaits her relief As the days pass her by And she writhes with grief Her name is Glory All freckled with spots Like a giant Dalmatian Trapped in this spot At the end of her lead She was finally freed Not a day too soon She'll now find relief Halfhearted no longer And happy at last Whom once was a twig Knows Glory at last Halfhearted no longer And free from that mess Glory has found relief At Horse Creek Ranch* *Horse Creek Ranch is, to the best of my knowledge, a fictional name.


Details | Free verse | |

Stand Up And Fight {Poetry In Motion}

a womans humanity remains strong
regardless of the victimization
simply stand strong to opposition





Tribute To Abused Woman
Never Give Up The Fight


Details | Free verse | |

Silver

Joaquin: paint-besotted at sixteen.

The color silver was your favorite --
it had the craved-for, biting glint
of a dagger dizzying your brain,
twisting as it mixed and chopped
your few surviving thoughts,
which floated, glittering,
in an icy silver mist.

Your classic, sculpted nose,
bearing a single dot of silver
smaller than a dime, expelled
the smell you struggled to breathe in.

And your eyes drowned in a sea of silver.


Details | I do not know? | |

I SHALL RISE

YESTERDAY MY D-TOX HAD BEGUN
SO FAR IVE MADE IT THRU DAY 1
I FORGAVE MESELF N I BLAME NO ONE ELSE
BUT NOW I GOTA DO 4 SELF
KEEP WORKN ON MY HEALTH
SO FAR EVERYDAY I GOTA ADD AN INCH 2 TIGHTING MY BELT
I UNDERSTAND THIS IS ANOTHER TRIBULATION THE LORD HAS DELT
I OVER DID IT WITH MY FEELINGS I FELT
IM SORRY I DRAGD U THRU MY HELL
THO TIME WILL SOON TELL
I SHALL RISE FROM WHERE I FELL
IM SORRY HEART BUT UR NO HELP TO ME NOW
MY MIND IS NOW ON POINT IN THIS NU RUN
SO MANY THINGS IVE BEGUN
NOW I GOTA GET EM DONE
U SWEAR I WAS ON ANOTHER ONE
BUT IM SLOWLY BREAKING TIES
SOON ALSO IT WILL BE TIME 2 TELL MARYJANE GOODBYE
I GOT 2 IF I WANA ACCOMPLISH MY GOALS I HAVE IN MIND
SO I ASK ALL YOU PLEASE HELP ME TRY
EVERYDAY IM BECOMING A DIFFERENT GUY
CAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE THE SAME I WONT LIE
IM TIRED OF HOW I LIVE MY LIFE
I KNOW IM GREATER THAN ME
IVE SEEN THE MAN WHO IM MEANT BE ONCE BEFORE
NOW IM SEARCHING FOR HIM AT EVERY DOOR
I HOPE I FIND HIM SOON
CAUSE RIGHT NOW IM STILL KINDA LOST ON WUT 2 DO
IM ON THE RIGHT TRACK
IM JUS TRYN FIGURE OUT WHR 2 GO
CAUSE I CAN SEE INTERSECTIONS COMN UP ON MY PATH
N I DNT WONT 2 MAKE A WRONG TURN THAT’LL SET ME BACK
LORD HELP ME OUT
THAT’S ALL THIS SINNER CAN ASK
N I’LL DO WUTEVER I HAVE 2 DO
N THAT VISION OF A SETTLE N STABLE ME
BEST BELIEVE IM COMIN AFTER YOU
....PEACE.

-bkmjr 2011-


Details | Free verse | |

Rush Hour

I rush through each day as if I have endless days ahead of me
When in reality each day is counting down to my demise
I awake each morning running my day through my mind
Planning on how to get there in the shortest amount of time

I rush through traffic, angry that it is moving so slowly
I run through the halls, arriving at my office out of breath
Logging in as I throw my purse in a drawer, the clerk reminds me of a meeting
There's fifty emails to answer and the blasted light on my phone is blinking

Burning my tongue on a cup of coffee, I rush down the stairs clutching my PDA
Deleting messages on my way to another conference I'm not ready for
To be told to move their projects to the top of my priorities
I return to my desk and scratch another due date to my to do list

Lunch comes and goes as I swallow yet another yogart and banana
I should have stock in these companies; it's my daily substance
Budget is due and the contracts are behind; by the way where is my handouts?
I still haven't answered that stupid light on my phone

The day is finished and I finally get around to the messages
One is canceling tomorrows meeting but there are two to replace it.
The last call is my doctors office telling me the biopsy is back
Could I make an appointment to see the doctor right away; it's abnormal.

Cars honk as they pass me in their hurry to no where
I don't see them through the veil of tears streaming off my cheek
Did I just pass my exit?  I don't care
I'm no longer in a hurry; the sun has just set on my day.


Details | Rhyme | |

Forgotten Voices

Petes Story

Pete was 27 when his life changed forever
An honest man he lived life with endeavour
At 18 working as an apprentice and carving a life
At 21 he'd bought his own house got married had a child and wife

Holidays abroad twice a year a good husband and proud dad
He enjoyed a drink but it never got in the way of his love for his wife and his lad
But......the drinking turned to craving then addiction and Pete was caught in its grasp
He'd make all the promises to stop drinking but he would always relapse

Then came the excuses at work missing days turned to weeks then job lost
Then the bills and debts mounting his wife and son left hes paid a high cost
And now he walks the streets drinking cheap cider and meths
It wont be long now pete you'll be another stastistic on the list of down and out 
deaths

Jennys Story

As a young girl she had so many dreams
A pretty 12 year old gazing up at the tv screens
From an upper class family she had everything
Good education well mannered she had ambitions to sing

12 through to 16 her education flourished
Courteous well mannered physically and mentally well nourished
But....at 17 that all came crashing down around her
An accident took her family everyone even her mother and father

Feeling helpless and alone she took to the street
Its here she meets an alcoholic called Pete
He seems a decent guy he shows her the street life ropes
And they form a friendship recalling all there dreams and hopes

Hungry and cold her lifes no longer sunny
A stranger approaches her offering her money
Its her body hes after not asking but telling
Hes finished with her he throws her a tenner shes crying and broken the tears cant 
stop welling

So begins her life as a prostitute and it gets her by
Its not the life she wants but it gets her fed and keeps her dry
Her life spirals downwards her next stop is drugs
Her pimp supplies them to her.her dreams all gone she simply shrugs

But she will be joining her friend Pete soon as the drugs take hold
So here ends Jennys life forgotten her wasted body lifeless cold

Forgotten People

So spare a thought for these forgotten people who didnt choose this life
But were caught by addiction grasped by all its chaos and strife
Because they once had dreams and aspirations to fill
But the ugly shadow of addiction took away there will

Addiction is cruel it takes away choices
So lets not forget the Petes and Jennys of this world and there forgotten voices


Details | Light Poetry | |

When Cancer Strikes And Takes Hold



 When it sinks in, you feel
 surely this is not happening
 to me, it cannot be real.

 The feelings you try to  hide 
  and conceal until you learn 
  to cope and deal with them.
                                                                                                         
The anguish and deep pain
 from within yourself is causing
you grief, wishing and
searching for some hope
and a relief.

Tears flow wishing it would
make it all go away
and return to good health
again although fear and
pain are the feelings that
Saddly remain.

It crushes your soul fearing
the worst and causing
you great stress and worry
along  with  the heartache and
the damage it causes 
to your emotional health.


This is surely the worst feeling
in the world that anyone could
feel knowing that your life
could fade away, nobody 
knowing the right words they
could say to help take your
pain and sorrow away
and ease your restless
and aching mind.

A True Companion you can 
find to express your feelings
to someone who knows you best
and who is caring,loving
and most truly kind with a
sympathetic ear to give
some comfort to wipe away
your anxious fears.

Unload your burdens you bare
with a trusted friend to care and who will
loyally support you
and  always be there for when there is distress
and help heal your painful
emotions to give you
comfort, hope and rest
to your troubled heart  to
 mend the pieces
as your feelings it releases.
A True friend is  to be Cherished 
right to the end.



Details | Free verse | |

Twinkling Souls

Sitting alone in a hotel room
Looking out over flat roofed buildings
At twinkling lights across the Island.
How many lights?
How many people?
Sitting alone in their rooms?
Looking out.
Alone.
Searching.
Despairing of finding ourselves.
Fearful of discovery
That I am Me.
Who is dying?
Slowly but slowly we all surely will.
Choice is everything.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mayella To Kill a Mockingbird

Here I am
Sitting, lying
Everyone is buying it
Yet I know who you really are
Heads up to bars
Gets drunk, come home
Then abuse me
I am the key to your heart
Or am I really?
Don’t be silly, you better watch your back
I hate you, 
I hate what you make me do
That is your cue
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!


Details | Limerick | |

My Life with Ms

  	 



My Life with M.S. isn't so bad, there's things I have to change,
Things I do on a daily basis will have to be re-arranged.
But no matter what I say or do, One thing could never be,
I know God gave this to me for a reason, he has a plan for me.
So even if I walk funny or talk alittle strange this is something that I wouldn't want to change.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

A Smokers Smoke

The sickness enters your mouth and your lips wrap around the smoky filter,
You light your lighter and spark the sickness than feel the jitter.
You inhale the sickness and exhale your life,
The smoke travels into the air and feel your life's cries. 

As you hold your death in your mouth, the smoke travels all around your face,
Huging every corner of the masterpiece that God has embraced. 
It cooks your skin and burns your lungs, you know that but still do it to be proud,
Be proud that once your done killing your self your troubles will go unfound. 

Now your head is buzzing and swimming in a cloud of smoke,
Making you and teasing you to take another toke. 
You follow its every command and do as your told,
You are a slave now of a demon that commands you all so bold.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dementia

These memories, they criss-cross and scatter
And I don't know where they go.
I don't know who I am 
But I'd very much like to know.

I am left bereft and dour
That's when I can remember why.
My mind is expunged of memory
They leave me without a good-bye.

Withdrawn, I am craven 
And left to the mercy of this plague.
This dearth, it manifests
My mind, making it confused and my memories vague

I can't sign this poem because I forgot my first and last name
I am ever so tired of playing this eternal guessing game.

By Nicholas Bello


Details | Rhyme | |

The Old House and the New Home

The Old House and the New Home
©2011 C. Brent Cloyd

I’ve lived in houses in the country side
There with my family I did abide
By the dust and gravel of a country road
Much pride was taken in our humble abode

I’ve lived in houses perched on a hill
Many of which are not standing still
They provided shelter in their time
Provoked memories that make life rhyme 

I’ve lived in a house on a city street
Where the neighbors came out at night to meet
I’ve lived in houses made of wood and stone
On avenues where children could safely roam

I’ve lived in houses of mortar and brick
Where driveways were paved and the grass was thick
I’ve enjoyed houses far better than most
Where friends would come and I could serve as host

But my current house seems like a foreign land
Where everyone wants to lend me a hand
Living in this place is not my desire
Of this arrangement I easily tire

The time has come for me to leave
To this old house I will not cleave
I no longer want a cottage here below
To a fine home in heaven soon I will go.

I long not for a mansion or streets of gold
But just a place where I will never grow old
A place where pain and sadness are never more
Where happiness is found on every shore

I am eager, yes ready, to move out
To possess my new home with a shout!
The promised home Jesus went to prepare
Death please come quickly, I want to be there.


Details | Free verse | |

Pothead

Pothead
Stoned like a rock
Blazed like a fire
Baked like a cookie
Faded like a photo
Buzzed like a bee
Toasted like bread
Wasted like an alcoholic
Hammered like a nail
Oh I could go on
One of the saddest things in life
People throwing themselves Away
Just to get high like a private jet
Who knows
Maybe one day, smart people
Like me
Will be as rare as Manatees


Details | Tanka | |

The Horrid Truth

She is one that hurts For she was one that was made Fun of during this Time of the year, Halloween Was not kind to her, she hurts A witch she’s just not Nor is she a Frankenstein She is not a bat Nor a skeleton is she She doesn’t fit in right now Though all the other Days of the year, she’s a freak Different person Nature has played a cruel joke And she hurts from within her So on the day at Which she could fit in the most She abhors with pain For it just reminds her of Her ailment, the horrid truth
Russell Sivey


Details | Elegy | |

Little Haley Died Today

Haley gave up the ghost today,
all we could do was cry and pray.
She'd suffered so long, her whole life,
disease had wracked her body with strife.

Cystic Fibrosis did her in,
choked her lungs and kept her thin,
poor little child, we knew her well,
spending so much time in hospital hell.

She barely made twenty-one,
and now her short life's said and done.
We cried for her mother, in such grief,
but to Haley, by God, death was a relief.

©Danielle White


Details | I do not know? | |

you don't have to be that way

I've said it once and I'll say it again
I HATE IT!
The drinking and smoking.
I doesn't just kill you
it kills me too
I love you 
and you have no idea how hard it is
to see you this way
You mean so much
You mean too much
and seeing you take every last drop
makes me want cry
you make life for yourself
hard 
as hard as it could get
it could be better
you have what it takes to stop
i know you do
if you can't
i know what will.
love
care
ME
i could help
you don't have to be that way
you are so much better


Details | I do not know? | |

Gone, Going, Back Again

The problem arose
Last mid-december
I became incredibly ill,
But the illness was different
I was a handicap
In the epitome of hell
My mind was swollen,
It seemed like no one understood
My loved ones cried,
And I didn't know why,
Because I was perfectly fine, 
Beside the temporary retardation
It was one of those pity parties
When you begin to believe
That you're the only one of your kind

The first steps to the answers,
Involved the small pills
Once, I took them,
Handicappness vanished
Side effects were horrible
But something I put up with
Then came the chemicals
Injected into me, it was terrible
But it could've been worse
Soon, I was done with the chemicals
And the small pills.

My close friends know, 
They are accepting and supportive,
They don't judge,
They like me for who I am,
They make me feel like one of them
And I couldn't ask for more
The scars still remain,
But they helped me almost forget them
They gave me one of the most incredible gifts in the world

The gift they gave me, 
Was the ability,
To not judge,
Never hold a grudge,
To always accept,
And to never let,
Yourself think,
You're on the brink,
And when you're in a whirl,
It's not the end of the world~


Details | Free verse | |

Bittersweet Serenity

Having flown with you.
  Having watched you wither.
    Beauty remains,
      But the most beautiful has blown away.
    Memories remain.
      Mementoes remain.
        Hate the remains of my life without you.
Mistakenly 
  You have taken me
    To the open, angry earth.
  You have left me to claw my casket.
    Scraping,
      Scratching,
        Spastically striving...
          To escape,
            To survive.
              I’m alive!
Withered,
  Wired,
    Watch the whimsical poet.
Flying,
  Frying,
    The bastard with the bowl.
I had five days to choose the chosen.
  Five days to direct the destiny of the predestined.
    Five days done gone by...
Loved no one.
  Felt so low.
    Felt I was going nowhere...
      There was nowhere to go.
    Felt I knew no friends...
       There were no friends to know.
Solitary.
  I have succumbed to seclusion.
Beat down.
  Feeling the dry ground.
    Fearing the melodic sound:
      My desperate breathing.
        My own heart beating.
But my fears could not imagine the depth of lonliness.


Details | Free verse | |

Leaving

I hate it
Knowing you might not stay
It's eating your 
Life away
Sucking you up
Like a black whole
Taking in everyone you know.
I hate it
Living on
Wondering,
If you'll be gone
God has made his choice,
We cannot share,
what this cancer is,
because I do not know
If you can stay


Details | Haiku | |

Discouraged

Life is a journey
Mine has just barely begun
But I want some rest.


Details | Free verse | |

Sad News

when you hear news so sad to say out loud
too painful to speak of
your mind wants to shut down
to stop, to just stop
as you try to think of something else
anything else
happy thoughts
better times
the sadness pushes through 
like a knife 
piercing your heart
the ache consumes you


Details | Blank verse | |

Remebering

There goes that smile again, 
loose
like a stray hair, 
greying;
caught upon the breeze.
You wheeze out a last laugh remembering times gone,
Back when you shone. 
Now only with mind's eye, 
rose-tinted,
is it hinted that you knew of the summer and spring.

Smile-wrinkles and worry lines still enchant,
Even as they plant: 
bitter-sweet feelings deep in my soul.
Crow's-feet 
clutch
as memories call out their last sweet siren song.

Past these old lips a complaint spills:
discomfort and distance.
Far from me,
lost.
As the frost covers your world, 
those first flakes stick.
You again thick in fog 
moan about those kids and how they sing.

Holding your hand I take night watch, 
weep silently at endless loss.
Later as I toss and turn I imagine that your mind 
remains intwined with mine.
That all, for now,
is fine with you, 
I forget all life now is tinged with the bitterest sting...
But then I remember...


Details | Free verse | |

Desperation takes control

She's locked in silence and fear, behind that cold glass wall. She tries with all her might to not give into her darkest temptations. And grab that stealy cold blade, and watch as her blood comes pouring out. She lays in desperation waiting... For nothing. For everything. Her desperation takes over, begins to control her. She cries out in anguish. Let's it all flow out. Tears, Blood, Love, Family, Her Life. It all comes out in one swift motion of her best friend. Her razor blade. She closes her eyes and clenches her teath. Wishes it would all go away, but she knows there's not such thing. Grew up wanting to die, it was so hard. Wishing she could be normal like everyone else. All she wanted is not to be locked in a box full of emotions. Blood flows down her arm and all she hears is her silent sobs. Watches her life pass infront of her. She fades in and out. Laying in her pool of desperate, worthless blood. One more breath, those last words. I love you mom and dad.


Details | Ballad | |

HE and his ART

Many hearts, each a beat
HE and his Art
=====
Sympathy struck my soul within the Watts Towers
One man, broken, lost
Gave other broken pieces of life another chance to shine
With beauty and grace
Close to his heart
Close to god

Before his hand came down
They were just figures fallen
Pieces hitting
Rock pavement bottom

These objects, that once served propose
Once had value
No longer desired

Used and abused
Broken souls
Left to corrode

Do you know what it feels like to be alone in fear
In shame with no hope
Can’t look in the mirror

Thought to no longer have purpose,
On this earth
To no longer have beauty
To no longer, have worth

Rebirth

Sees art on the ground
His Hand comes down
A man, once broken and scared
A suffering alcoholic with a second chance at life
His heart and soul he bares 

Perhaps it was sympathy,
He felt that day
When he started to create, a place of hope
The skills to cope 
For the pieces left to waste away

Each broken object, each piece of junk
He gave a gift of serenity
To shine and glimmer
To live beautifully,
In company 
Sublime and serene
Achieved

Surrounded by like others,
Once pieces left behind 
Alone, you seek cover
Together, in time

Is strength, and beauty
A vision of unity
A collective propose
Of vision and purity

What new perspective, from the inside to out 
Changes on the faces of the people about 
Seeing the junk, as a ship not sunk

In the shape of hope
And inspiration, a dream
Where we can go and where we have been

Reflect on this now
Of those who never saw
What the man’s vision was
Love, real and raw
In those broken pieces

With his signature, his heart
Left in different formations
Bottle and plates
Imagination
=====
Many hearts, each a beat
HE and his Art



Details | I do not know? | |

suicide and the sublime

i tiptoe 
on the cool edge
of the steel railing 
of a skyscraper
and the cool edge
of the surface
of the moom


Details | Free verse | |

The death rattle of Jackson Haley

His heart gave a leap of joy,
scrambling up over a wall of memories,
as the leaves quivered in front of him.
On Monday the children were playing at soldiers.
On Tuesday he was playing fast and loose with a girl's affections.
I forgot to give childhood to him and the coat sit badly across the shoulders.
A heart overflowing with gratitude,he was a good man,
came of a good family.
Thinking of grievous loss and bewailing, Jack Haley woke up.
Gale force winds and the boat of souls tossed about on the stormy sea,
a joke and a racking headache of a thousand why.
Silence reigned everywhere at 6.30 in the morning.
He is a law unto himself now as 5 dollars in his pocket suddenly
disappeared.
He never sold himself to the enemy and lights turned on.

He looked at his son with pride,fingered the tie of reputation,
stammered out a few words and then stopped.
Just stopped.


Details | I do not know? | |

When

When your church turns against you, 
What more pain could there be?
You need them most they’re not there
It’s what happened to me

When your date of expiration,
Comes and goes it is true
Tis life’s pain and the arrow
That was meant for you

You’re holding us fine,
But you’re only human, you know
Then you break down and
You let your weaker side show.

When your nerves are on end,
And you’re shaking all inside
When your breathing is shallow,
And there is none by your side.

A slit on the wrist, 
Or maybe across the neck
What’s the use in living?
What’s the use, what the heck?

What’s the use in living?
Why keep going on?
My life will never be good
Singing melancholy’s song. 


 


Details | Lyric | |

Empathy Hostage

cry?
sometimes I just want to say

your life is yours to keep or throw away

When you want me to make up the rules

to a game I don't know how to play

Don't know what I'm supposed to do

to keep you safe from that thing called you

If everything you say is true

You're gonna do it anyway

Am I the only one that's gonna cry
when you finally get the guts to die

Do you just need someone to say goodbye

Or someone to talk ya down

I know you're hurting desperately

I know you're ready for eternity'

Does it help to know that you're hurting me

since I'm the only one around

Oh tell me that you feel better now,

that we can talk and work it out some how

Won't you tell me that you found a way

take a deep breath and see another day

Did you pick me out so I could be

The one who stands staring helplessly

the lucky lucky man who gets to see

Just how serious you are

Well I hope you know you're being cruel

to choose a poor empathetic fool

to watch you do that thing you're gonna do

You finally get to be the star

oh tell me that you feel better now

that we can talk and work it out some how

won't you tell me that you found a way

take a deep breath and live another day

will it be a razor blade or gun

perhaps a nice high dive would be more fun

The pills are painless when the day is done

since I'm the one who gets to feel

Go ahead and make it quick and clean

if not for me it would be sight unseen

God how I wish I had a time machine

to take you back when you were real

Oh tell me that you feel better now

that we can talk and work it out somehow

Oh won't you tell me that you found a way

Take a deep breath and breathe another day


Details | Free verse | |

LENIENT AND IMMORAL SOCIETY

It's the unfair society:
from lenient judges
to corrupt attorneys
and with some bad cops
who claim that their motto is:
" To serve and protect "
Oh, no don't tell me that I am crazy: I don't trust the Law!
It's an insult to society or to the ones who wrote it!
Oh, don't tell me that murderous thoughts 
don't double-cross me to want to toss those offenders
into the slammer where they really belong!
I should be on that bench and give sentences
without showing sympathy or forgiveness!
One guy who had a bag of weed
was released the next day...
because it was his first offense!
It's foolishness...there were
two minors in that car:
wasn't it the fault of a lenient judge? 
Hookers, so-called Ladies of the Night
are more protected than the ordinary citizens,
some  wacko sees them as worthless beings
and kills them dumping them in marshes...
I am saddened by such murders, 
but they don't lead a clean life!
Oh, don't tell that God doesn't have murderous thoughts like me!
But when some of one of them tap on your window, as you wait 
for the red light to turn green, solicits sex for money...wouldn't 
anybody have a murderous thought and give them a nasty look?
Oh, don't tell me that sex doesn't sell everywhere!
It's so disgusting to see ads with semi-nude models
advertizing for the big companies: it's the buck, not the morality!
And worse than that some guys watch porn as they drive!
O society so filthy and shameless, you have become so immoral,
putting away the Commandments that Moses God carved with fire! 
It's wrong to hate a brother or sister,
and seek revenge with either curses or bad deeds...
slandering is not humane and compassionate;
if he or she did something wrong...show love,
don't have murderous thoughts! The hatred
makes the gun go off quickly and the knife cut very deep! 
So goes for your neighbors, love them
as you would love your own and by spreading kindness:
darkness will be replaced by light,
and hate, ignorance and avarice by love!



Written by Andrew Crisci
for Susan Burch's contest,
" Getting Away With Murder/Murderous Thoughts "


Details | Rictameter | |

Six Ribs and a Collarbone

She's tough.
Ana's tougher.
Barely seventeen, five stone
Gaunt and battered, she stands alone
Dependent on the lone knife that slays her.
I wish I could, she tells her food.
But Ana says I can't.
One day, she'll win.
She's tough.


Details | Lyric | |

Killer

I still see you suffer in the wake of all dreams
That I have each time that I sleep
Tears still fall from the heart of steel that I once had
Its too late for me to offer you mine to give
And it still makes me weep
That it forced you against your will
To live.


Details | Free verse | |

MOBIOUS SYNDROME

 
              
                                         
                
 
Such an overwhelming,heartwrenching disease
 from a baby,a parents pain,sheilded yet knotted inside
   non facial expressions,no tears,no laughter
       how do you detect the mood of your infant.

           Discovered from a cist on the brain
             a young mum, to finalize her vital exams
               grandma`s love, family and friends too 
                help  make this possible.

                      A non existant forward, it may seem
                        weeks of contiuous tests,hearts full of hope
                           proven that it can be overstepped
                             grown teenager speaks of his ordeal

                                 Today is the day,that consultant is seen,apprehensive,nrevous
                                  tears of joy,negative test, a normal life,others not so lucky
 
Paul Beadnall for Brian Strand`s ( free verse contest)                                    19/7/2011


Details | Rhyme | |

The Doctor

Don't struggle; this will calm you down,
It's rather potent stuff,
And then take these ones once a day,
For they turn your teardrops off,

Same for these ones, once a day,
They numb all your emotions,
And that headache's purely physical,
Just try rubbing in these lotions,

I'm not sure why you're having trouble
Getting to sleep at night,
No worries, I've got tablets for that,
Just try them out tonight,

Will that be all? I've got a lot
Of patients to see today,
Just pump yourself full of pills,
Then get out and go away.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

If Only I Had Known

If Only I Had Known
What trouble you were bearing,
But how could I,You just didn’t feel
you should be sharing.
 
If Only I Had Known
That you had become so sad,
I would of done all I could
To help you not feel so bad.
 
If Only I Had Known
I would have brought my warmth within your space,
I would have been gentle and caring
And would have left happiness in my place.
 
If Only I Had Known
I would have slipped my hand within your hand,
And would have giving thanks For the time together,
As we walked across the land.
 
If Only I Had Known
I would have wanted to help make the hurt go away,
To help you be more at peace for,
the rest of you stay.
 
If Only I Had Known
As you walked out the door,
That my Dear Friend would
not be here forever more.
 
If Only I Had Known
That when you said Good-Bye,
Only you knew then,
You were about to die.
 
If Only I Had Known
Even though you thought it best
To spare me the early pain,
It now takes all I’ve got just to keep myself sane.
 
If Only YOU Had Known
My Dear, Dear Friend,
That if you had told me,
I would have been there for you,
 
From Beginning To End.
 
Randy Laird


Details | Quintain (English) | |

A BLANK MIND VOID OF INSPIRATION

Woke up with a terrible headache,
pounding this brain, spoiling the taste
of the delicious mocha coffee I sip;
tired of watching the urban morning news,
troubles abound, so do my Holiday blues.


And a blank mind void of inspiration
adds to my unbearable, changeless woes;
wouldn't someone cheer me up, and with a convulsion,  
revive my weak breath risking annihilation?
Fresh air, crisp and fragrant, is needed into my lungs. 


A blue and bright sky isn't sought after when it's frigid,
all my body wants to do is keep itself warm by this fireplace,
watch the log's fire rising amid the reddish bricks of the chimney walls...
imagining throngs of scintillating fireflies float on a mild summer's evening;
wouldn't a hot bowl of chicken soup will revive me and do me good? 


And a blank mind void of inspiration
can spend a whole day in idleness when thoughts do escape;
and once they are gone, they are lost forever to memory and vision,
but wouldn't this be an horrible thought to hold them in my grip,
wanting them to stay...not to connote guilt?


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Free verse | |

Thought's Of The One I Knew


Looking down upon the smiling faces,
Captured in a black & white embrace
She recalls the only day of warmth in 
Late November
A freak of nature’s gift was sunlight
Touching on their skin
 Like embers
Breaking down she begs him to 
Remember
Searching for the spark to re-ignite

I can barely see. Who is she? I know her face, I think,
 I might, I can’t be sure. Maybe one day I’ll escape.
And tell her things I think I feel for her.

Through the tears she realises
The cruel exchange of sun 
For darkness
Glowing embers in the breeze 
Love is not a memory
And from the crutches of 
His blackness
He turns to see her silent sadness
Softly puts his hand upon her
In his eyes the final flicker, a tiny spark 
Enough, to say goodbye


Details | Rhyme | |

conversation with my weakness

Can you hear me?
Can you taste me?
I know you yearn 
just for the smell 
of me.

Don't fight just pick 
me up, tilt me 
over so you can 
fill up.

Don't stop, what for? 
With me theres always 
room for more and more.

Regardless of what you
think I'm everywhere, I 
sense your weakness through 
your digestive stare.

It starts with the 
thought of me now 
your begining to consume, 
and I enjoy as 
your pain starts to resume

No one can stop 
me regardless of what 
you thought, I'm the 
beast that destroys and 
brings down your fort.

It's funny cause you 
know my secret yet 
you act like you 
don't, from me to 
you I can't care 
and I surely won't.

Others probaly wonder who 
am I? I was the 
one casted down from 
the sky in the form 
of a bottle I 
simply destroy lives.

It's so wonderful that 
you already know this, 
yet the choice you 
make is to give me a kiss.

The love for me 
is so strong, you 
try to turn away 
but seriously for how long.

I wish I can 
say with me you'll 
win, nope. No life, 
no love, just me 
and sin.......
My conversation with hennesse 
and gin...


Details | Couplet | |

Aids

Once I went to a hospital
There aids patient’s were on the beds with death’s proposal

As Aids is pronounced it is not so simple
To take every breath they cross huge pain hill

There I saw life and deaths fight
They hopefully fight for life but death was in their sight

For each breath they were given pills
But the gap between the world and patients make their life more terrible

Those people are far from life and closed to death
Those people with such short and painful life are kept away like filth

They are treated as if they have done crime
No one understand what brought them in such a time

They are nether fully death nor alive
By the physical and mental pain they prefer death, then to survive

On the other hand doctors does not allow them to die
With the medical power these half death people are force to survive

So Aids end is not so simple as Aids is pronounced
For these peoples terrible physical and mental death is announced


Details | Rhyme | |

Never Give Up - For all those touched by Cancer

We've all watched someone we love an adore, battle with all their might
Holding onto love and grasping at hope to try and win their fight.
They can not find reason, the questions abound and nothing at all makes sense
But still they struggle and try as they might, they will never give up their defence
Some they are lucky, remission sets in and the tears that they cry become hope
But others will battle till weakness sets in and they have lost all ability to cope
The families, the friends all those that survive vow never to give up the fight
To find a cure for all those that are touched by Cancer's dangerous plight
No matter your age, gender or race, we can all come together as one
We can do whatever is needed of us until the battle is won.
Copyright - Written by Sarndra Schoenmaker on 3/7/09


Details | Lyric | |

Final Day

Put the blindfold on your eyes
as you try to hide from all of your fears
Shortcomings and bad luck
have you falling to your knees
as all you’ve ever hoped and dreamed
all you’ve ever loved and needed
has slowly fallen into the depths of what can never be 
Just curl up inside yourself
hidden from your loved ones’ view
The doors are locked inside
as you slowly harden against all the prying eyes
You just can’t force yourself to face
your crying eyes in the mirror anymore
The blurry image staring back at you
can’t drown away the feelings that you have
And no matter what pain you cause
it never hurts enough
It never keeps yourself at bay
And so you're stuck in the prison walls you built yourself
trapped within your own mind
And while you’ve more than served your time
there’s no escaping this
And as you fall unto the floor
as you can no longer take the pain anymore
and bash your fists into the ground
with tears of despair flowing down
you feel your final hope die away
and so you let yourself and soul slip away
making this your final day


Details | Quatrain | |

Am I a Woman or a Man

Who shall I be today
For I can be anybody I can
I have the freedom reign to roam
Am I a woman or a man

I operate under you noses
Leaving clues to who I am
Maybe it's in my character
Am I a woman or a man

Light or berry be I
Maybe sad because I need to be scanned
To many I am under your skin
Am I a woman or a man

So many of me are around
In deranged open game plan
But will you ever realise
Am I a woman or a man








http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/life-14.php


Details | Free verse | |

Herpes New year

No one ever talks about it
it hurts
it throbs
uncomfortable

\No one knew what to say
especially when it was no longer all about them
but it was

Who have i been with?
who have you been with!!!?

the tears
pain
throbbing
thief of under
under where?
under there

All my friends were busy
Called mom yesterday we fought
My brother bout fell off the wagon
cause i want to move away if he moves near
and they're all blaming my ex

i know better
psychological torment
Im the slut
Im the whore
I blame myself as i should
serves me right
right?

so who wants a piece of this pie?
drug induced schitsoeffective
mood disorder
mentally ill
diseased
Lover Boy
all for you

Just give me more pills

Two friends left
I don't want to talk to the Angel whose ex stole my password to this site
My ex girlfriend whose room i lit on fire owes me 240 dollars for her drug debt
things are getting better
happy birthday rip off
merry Christmas debt
high and dry
Now Herpe New year

and i wept
again
stronger this time to not go over the reasons to live versus those i should die
and i laid in bed
with no one to hold
so young
people are cruel
I'm the joke dressed in suicide
just make sure you wash your hands
when you clean up after my mess
you might get infected
and then as the songs go sang by the artists
that sing about how my names are songs

I'll be the one responsible for killing all of my friends and myself after all

For the love of latex and lesions
practice safe sex
know your partners well
and remember life aint no merry go round
it can happen to you
it happened to me

and I've only been out of the funny farm 
for three years
before that i was clean
before that was high school
and the nightmare i will always remember and equate with the word 
DREAM


Details | Rhyme | |

Cannabis Song

This is the Cannabis song,
they've turned something good. 
made is seem wrong,

It's illegal why?
Come on politics,
don't be shy

So many uses for this wonder drug,
Wonderful for clothing and sometimes rugs,
Fords model T car was built from hemp- the very best, 
Mayflower sails were too they passed the test,
1619 Jamestown settlers had to grow the crop,
It's absorbent fibers make the best cleaning mop.
clothing more solid and sturdy,
Eco-friendly for the fish and birdies,
replenishes soil with nutrients it once dropped,
known as the most efficient rotational crop,
artists for many years used the oil as paint,
use hemp money to pay for that date,
hemp oil could end the gas crisis,
Piss off Shell, Chevron, they don't like surprises,
Lets not forget the physical effects,
One of the best ways to let your body rest,
ointments for sore muscles and lotions for skin,
once it's ingested, ooh feels like a wonderful sin,
The many Cannabinoids help with cancer,
better than chemo not guaranteed to end the disaster,
Certain strains provide mellow for those with epilepsy,
imagine being the kid who just cant sleep,
take a dose once or twice a day,
they now see the sun's shiny rays,
Cant leave out the repair of brain cells,
the ones that alcohol beats up then bails

Why is it illegal you ask?
Politics wear the greatest masks,
Constantly paid off by corporate interests,
Wanted monopolies to bring them pocket book bliss,
Pharmaceuticals, DuPont, Randal Hearst, now Alcohol,
Couldn't stand the competition this “drug” brings at all,
To ensure the public wouldn't be informed,
Made GOV medical testing illegal and provided propaganda porn

So many other details,
but this must end sometime.
For some great information on cannabis
visit the http://NORML.org website




 





Details | Rhyme | |

The Unkindest Cut

I read about a twelve year old
Who fell and cut his arm.
His coach gave him a band-aid;
There was no cause for alarm.

Yet unbeknownst to anyone,
Bacteria crept in 
And multiplied with fierce abandon
Underneath the skin.

Next day the boy was feeling sick
With fever and some pain.
The doctor checked him out and thought
The cause was pretty plain –

With lots of virus going round,
That must be what he had;
And so she sent him home
With very worried mom and dad.

He started feeling worse and so
They went to N.Y.U.;
A fine prestigious hospital
Would know just what to do.

Alas, they made the same mistake
As doctor number one.
They took some tests and then dismissed
The parents and their son.

Yet morning came and he declined.
His folks just couldn’t wait.
They rushed back to the hospital;
By then, it was too late.

The doctors somehow’d missed the signs;
His body was in shock.
Bacteria’d been building armies
All around the clock.

And no one knew to give the boy
The proper ammunition.
“We’re very sorry” was the line
They got from each physician.

Now doctors are just human
And of course, they make mistakes;
But reading of this family’s loss,
My heart just up and breaks.


Details | Acrostic | |

Sad

Seasonal
Affective
Disorder

When
Evening

Night
Eventually
Ends
Disporportionally sooner

Lights
Inside needed
Great outside light diminished
Help needed
To end sad

(SAD is an illness that some people have when they don't get enough light in 
the winter and some people have an additional illness to getting too much 
light in summer which causes depression.)


Details | Light Poetry | |

Who Loves Ya Baby {Footle}

Love starts
    From heart
           
Sown daily
      For my baby

One look
  Got hooked

Only twelve
 Southern belle

Were apart
       How tart

Lives with dad
      Oh how sad

Shes my baby
    Quite the little lady


Hope she understands
      This was not in my plans

For God only knows
   As my tears flows

Please forgive me
         My little Jenny




Tribute To My
Jenny Rose
Mama Loves You Peanut


Note -

Due to my unknown illness my little girl
lives with her dad and it keeps me from
being a full time mom to her for when medicated
I lay in a unconscious state up to 9 hrs I been suffering
for over 20 yrs now and there is no cure just ways to make
sickness bearable with injections to tush lol


Also Entry For
John Heck's
Love It Heals & Hurts Contest


Details | Rhyme | |

Back to the floor

Under the influence is how you live. You seem to enjoy being a div. Not because you lack some charm, Not because of some past harm. I'v no idea why you insist on drinking, Why you refuse to stop from sinking. On the floor you are once more, But I wont worry, your up in a hurry. One drink down and heres the clown, A few pints more and you feel like a bore. So "to hell with it" i hear you say, "I know best how to play". Solos bound from your guitar, Did it really have to go this far? I watch your stool rock side to side, There it goes your sense of pride. On the floor just like before, A place you always seem to adore. I'll leave you there just a while, As you choke on your own sweet bile. The crowd dont notice, While you pose for photos. To them your just a great night out, But me, i'll always want you about. Perhaps with your liver still intact, For this is just a simple fact. You like to drink thats for sure I dont think we'll find a cure. Lets stay in, just for tonight. No wine, no beer, no big fight. No free drinks, no fans to shout, Just you and me, Please, lets not go out.


Details | Bio | |

Black Fog Day (2006)

Alarm clock rings and the fog creeps in
Dreams disperse and clouds follow me for my sins
Lost inside the jungle in my head
Can’t sleep until these thoughts are dead
First step outside and I freeze
Don’t shout at me please
Speak to me nicely and with love
When you walk past please don’t shove
My emotions magnify and soon I will break
When I will I ever wake from this black fog day? 


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

Memories haunt and yet they lead.
They help us to find our way.
Memories bring choices with comparisons made.
Memories lead to decisions as corners we turn.
But memories are fluid and change as life goes on.
We forget and discard what we don’t want.
Later we revisit and change images again.

Resentments change to love and care long lost.
Achievements verses what we gave up.
Even wrong can become trying to do right.
Other viewpoints open the older we become…
Then we revisit and memories change again.
Memories can be truth or lies, but they are always…
As fluid as the life from which they come.


Details | Sonnet | |

Peace Within

“When my pain is bleak
And relief is fleeing
My thoughts become weak
With recklessness”

“Agony brings infamy
To my heart of pain
And the peace of Christ
Excels my thought of rashness”

“And meds for coping
Lessens my sadness
Lower my woes
Of high distress”

“And peace from within
Derived from up high
Quiet my thoughts
Of suicide”


Details | Rhyme | |

Do You Feel Like You've Been Defeated


Do you feel like you’re “worn out” and defeated?
Like nothing in your life has really been completed?

Do you feel like your life is going “downhill” fast?
And wonder how much longer you’re “going to last?”

Do you feel like you’ve hit too
 many “bumps in the road?”
The weight upon your shoulders feels like a “heavy load?”

Do you feel like you just can’t take it anymore?
You may wonder if anything in
 life is worth living for...

Do you want to hear some good news I have to bring?
I can tell you of someone who can 
take care of everything!

Do you want to know of someone 
who can change your life today?
His name is Jesus, and he can take
 all of your problems away!

Do you want to allow him to change
 your life throughout?
This is what HIS love is really all about!

Do you want to experience the power of God within?
Knowing what it means to be forgiven and born again…

If this is what you want and what
 your heart wants to gain.
Simply reach out to Jesus and call 
on his name…

He wants you to know and to completely understand.
He’s here right now and waits 
with an outstretched hand…

He wants you to know…  He really does love YOU.
Why not start today?  And be made BRAND NEW!!!

By Jim Pemberton  
01/18/11


Details | Didactic | |

THE DAZZLING ILLUSION

A CHILDISH GIGGLE,
WOLF CRY ROUSED.
THE TIRED WOMAN ON BED.
THE GIGGLE CAME AGAIN IN  
DIRECTION OF BATHROOM,
WHO KEEPS A ROOM FULL OF TOYS?
DAZZLER, SO THEY CALL LIKE MORNING DEW
THIS SOON MELTS.
DAZZLERS, GLITTERING LIKE GOLD BUT NOT GOLD.
DAZZLER, WHAT DAZZLES
THE INCURABLE PAIN OF UNCERTAIN DAYS.
THE EMPTY PROMISES WITH THE DAZZLING ILLUSION.
THE STRONG WILL TO LIVE,
BY THE GIFT OF LOVE,
IS THE STRENGTH OF ONES? 
YES, THE STRENGTH IS LOVE, 
LET WADE THIS POOL OF PAIN 
TOGETHER IN LOVE IS WHAT DAZZLES.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Puppet

A girl lived her whole life.
Forever held, on puppet strings.

They bound her hands,
so tightly, and wrapped round her legs.

No movement she made,
was voluntary, she was never in control.

She was controlled by others,
at their mercy, doing whatever they asked.

The world around her was noisy,
deafening- with people asking for favours.

She could hear these voices,
even in the silence, that never really was.

She never uttered a complaint,
she was silent, about these endless duties.

When she locked herself up,
those tender tears, were seen by her mirror only.

But no matter what she did, she never,
could lock herself away from the strings

Until one day the word grew silent.
She closed her eyes and sighed,

*and then, she was gone.



*NB, alternate ending (last line):-

The strings fell, and she was free.


Details | Free verse | |

ENNUI OF THE LOST

Ennui conspires insipid moods
infringing human awareness,
ruled by a lunatic vision,
not controlled by insight and lucidity;
and desires of a Dolce Vita
mollify a false illusion
to appear on an intaglio, to gradually
become a shining insignia.


To steer a ship, takes effort and patience,
and if its course is guided by favorable winds,
all is well for the adventurous captain;
and should he lose focus, lured by lunacy and nihilism,
his enthusiasm wears out and failure sets in...
and his ship will lurch on unfriendly waves,
and his ennui lessens courage to deviate
from the safe route when nocturnal vision is lost indeed.


Ennui insinuates myopia,
muzzling the voice and halting 
the mind's performance,
thus forging the promise of  utopia; 
and the hunch is to pursue intuition
whenever it may lead...being
the holster controlling the steed,
getting rid of the humdrum and huff,
humming and ignoring the hourglass,
which trickles sand to infuse fear.
    


Details | Blank verse | |

Passing Me By

Here I sit, watching the people outside,
Watching them converse and live their lives.
A smile touches my lips though it's only
For a fleeting moment before it's gone.
My fingers dance across the smooth glass
Before they make marks and I wipe them 
Away.

Here I am, watching them through
The window. Watching teem live a life 
That I know I can never 
Have.


Details | Free verse | |

Nuclear winter

Images burned into my head too unbearable to manage 
and control to lead a normal life
 without consequence.

Life maintained through pills and counseling
 with guidance on this long and unkind path of my existence.

These thoughts to intrusive and invade the
 mind without warning causing a battle within like the axis to the allies of 
Europe’s great war.

Happiness to sad with smiles so false, the eyes, 
the only passage to truth found deep within the catacombs of the soul are sought.

Memories established in these catacombs clutching my soul bearing down upon 
me leaving me breathless with the will to live out of reach of embracing.

An ongoing battle, day to day, incompliant within my mind is this unseen enemy 
that is the silent killer of millions.

This assassin overwhelmed and crushed the innocent victims damned to spend 
eternity in their own mental nuclear winter.

My personal hell.


Details | Rhyme | |

Is Your Life Running On EMPTY

Is your life running 
on empty fumes?
Are the adversities and stress
 of life being consumed?

Any zeal and passion for God
 may be in the past…
You wonder; “How long is life
 going to last???”

Perhaps you feel like your
 anchor’s “been lost at sea…”
And ask; “Lord…  
Why is this happening to me?”

Things in life often
 catch us “unaware…”
You may ask; “does anyone
 out there really care?”

There is someone who
 can help you along!
In Jesus’ arms of mercy
 is where you belong!

He walked this earth and 
calmed the sea of Galilee…
He’ll calm the storms
 of life for you and me!

Won’t you give him a chance... 
 To calm your fears?
And allow his love to
 wipe away any tears?

He’ll bring peace to a
 hopeless situation…
All you need to do… 
 Is to give him an invitation…

The choice is yours…  
It’s your decision to make!
Won’t you do it now?  Before it’s too late???

By Jim Pemberton  
01/18/10







Details | Burlesque | |

Methheads of Mo-Town

Oh, just live for once in your life.
Oh, just die for once in your life.
Overwrought by confusion and strife.
Overtaken by a magical, mysterious phenomena.
Memory of mad months, memories of unexplainable phenomena.
Skin and bones are colliding, phenomena's not playing fair!
And you wonder if in the beginning you thought to care.
Plea to the gods of giving, recovery is rare.
Another statistic ... Another Methhead of Mo-Town.


Details | Rhyme | |

AN URGENT PRAYER FOR LINDA-MARIE

My poem is dedicated to Linda-Marie: The Sweetheart of Poetry Soup...
it's my token of gratitude for her precious friendship and endless kindness.



We thought she had disappeared without traces;
it's not like her...her trails are made of pretty laces,
but friends at Poetry Soup have missed for three weeks:
a lovely lady with the friendliest smile and rosiest cheeks.


The bad news hit me hard and made me cry desperately,  
losing something so useful to accomplish daily tasks
as writing, or driving a car is a great tragedy; why did this
happen to a good person such as Linda-Marie? 


Is God testing her faith, knowing that her heart is strong?
I've been tested by Him in infinite ways and still praise His name!
Another man would have shouted in anger and abandon Him
as an irrational one has surely done to accuse Him of wrong!


Hopefully, Linda-Marie will accept this tragedy and go on as usual
without feeling helpless, lonely and forgotten by Him and all;
we'll stand by her as He will...comforting her with prayers and loving thoughts,
being assured that our effort will help her overcome painful days with little sun rays.


Details | Blank verse | |

The Hospital Trilogy Part Three - Bedlam No More

Now hushed bleak sterile corridors
recall the cries, laughter and tears
of those once termed insane;
all is still now. 
Rooms behind forbidding windows,
shutters slam-dance lazily in the breeze;
all is empty. 
No actual cells, no straw on cruel stone floors
or padded walls,
reality is cracked linoleum and Formica;
all is quiet. 
The local Bedlam towers black,
decaying dead slumber,
etched against a red-tinged horizon. 
No movement now within the confines
of her walls,
other than upon the evenings of the
Autumnal moon, when perhaps
resonances of the past send strange
drifting spectres to walk the balconies
and pace the grey great hall,
acting out the bygone dramas of this home,
this refuge, Asylum. 
Those who would dare to 
venture here
on such tragi-comic nights would see;
but no one comes here and no one sees
and all too few care or understand,
for all that is past are now dead memories,
and all that is to follow
is the truest madness... 


Details | I do not know? | |

Wolf Cry or Not

So you've considered suicide,
Life's so bad you want to die?
Is this a moment of honesty ,
Or are you being an attention horror,
Guess either way doesn't matter,
It'd be the wolf cry I can't ignore, 

Left your house unconvinced,
This wont be the end of this,
Cant encourage this behavior,
You've got to fix this, you're you're only savior,
I know people you can talk to with degrees,
Don't want my friends' existence to cease

I wonder why you told me this,
Keeping people alive isn't why I exist,
A huge burden just fell in my lap,
I don't own a life saving cap,
I'm no superhero, but I'll stand by my friend,
Just don't want your life story to end


Details | Ottava rima | |

~Self Depreciation~


Reflection accuses, turns you to stone.
Like fine china you stand ready to break,
and no one can see except you alone,
your painted mask as it begins to flake.
So take your punishment, time to atone
for food in your stomach equals mistake,
and the size on your clothes just doesn't relate; 
six adds a curve, masquerading as eight. 

When ribs become rungs in kilos decline
and the pole bearers number four not six,
will you see all the loved ones at your shrine
as they cry for the times they failed to fix,
the doubt in eyes as you said "I'm fine,"
not adding in hope to destructive mix.
You lay in your coffin built for a child,
succumbed to mirrors; totally beguiled.



Details | I do not know? | |

Oh to be free

The people I love try not to show,
But they see me dying and they know.
The battle that takes place...in me,
With my addiction, Oh to be free.

Fifteen years trapped inside,
Thousands of lonely teardrops cried.
Without my addiction, What good could I be?
Thoughts conflicting, Oh to be free.

Desperate to prove I'm right not wrong,
Knowing that i can never really belong.
With my addiction, Much bigger than me,
Wishing it would end, Oh to be free.

Ever consuming, lives destroyed
its been here so long its so hard to avoid
I run try to hide but it still finds me
my head in my hands, Oh to be free

how can i find motivation to breathe
let alone find the courage to finally leave
my pastimes of old, to find the old me
while I’m fighting my addictions, Oh to be free

by James Thomas Mahauariki
Copyright © 2008


Details | Free verse | |

A Leaf

Winters blow
until the last
until the rain
doesn't pass
and when the wind
blows softly in
it does not move
to welcome in
the joy, the wind
the words, the wind
then you will have
no suffering


Details | I do not know? | |

Have and the have nots

grabbing at straws the luck of the draw
some live big some live raw
a few like gods on hills of gold
every things fine just do what were told

A man on the corner needs something to eat
money walks by thinks dirty deadbeat
separated so the poor don't offend
at least when your down no need to pretend

late at night at the castle on the hill
a drunken success pops another pill
doesn't talk to his kids doesn't have real friends
his wife loves spending and the hottest new trends

a mother and her children prepare for the meal
what little there is seems so surreal
Everyday she struggles to provide
all she has is love and great strength inside

the driver takes him to the company he owns
he makes money by working others to there bones
always watching for a worker whose down
to remind them hes got the best jobs in town

eight sharp she takes the bus into work
she works for sol ittle just to please some rich jerk
the boss points out maybe its time for some new clothes
hes pays so little cares nothing for what she owes


the girls need braces but theres no way to pay
she smiles real big and says well get em someday
but shes knows she probably wont ever afford
she can barely make rent on her own accord

when he enters his mansion he feels quite alone
a beautiful house but know sign of a home
he decides it be better if workers lost there medical coverage
the company will save and even the overage

two people so very different one thinks hes what most people want to aspire to
the other wonders how long she can hold two sick days she'd be out on the street
the first one is selfish drinks every night avoids his family and lies a lot to
the second is down but will never give up and her children love her she is so sweet

these two people we see everyday I'm willing to bet you may look away
she just doesn't know how to save irresponsible i hear people say
when you see the man in his top notch suit and perfect smile
i hear people say what an outstanding man i like to talk for a while

When i see the man in his thespian role i feel a ting of pity in the heart in the soul
all the money doesn't help him see the person he his the one he could be
when i see the women struggle all day i wonder why we aren't all this way
her strength and courage virtues indeed a path of love is always richer then  one of greed 


Details | Rhyme | |

Where was she?

One fateful day, we got the call
The words received, started it all.
“Your son has cancer, please come see”
So we flew out, but where was she?

By your bedside, we both would stay
Waiting for news, along the way.
For we were shocked, this couldn’t be
We both stood by, but where was she?

Your dad returned, so he could work
I stayed there, my sick days I took.
Finding out, a transplant was key
I was still there, but where was she?

You were discharged, and home we went
To Cleveland Clinic, you were sent.
May the tests be wrong, we would plea
We stayed with you, but where was she?

Our lives would change, and this was true
Praying you’d live, and make it through.
There were days, we wanted to flee
Yet we hung in, but where was she?

Many helped out, because they care
Raising money, wanting to share.
Bills were mounting, nothing is free
We worked so hard, but where was she?

The house we cleaned, sanitized too
Painting and fixing, all for you.
Our bodies ached, we’d skin a knee
Getting it done, but where was she?

Remission set in, “Thank you Lord”
Through it all, we surely weren’t bored.
Appointments kept, relieved we’d be
Your health is back, but where was she?

We never asked, but did expect
You’d be grateful, and show respect.
For our love, forever will be
We had been there, but where was she?

We put you first, our lives on hold
All we asked, was do what you’re told.
You chose to leave, hurting us all
Now with her, you can’t even call.

She is your mom, for this we know
Some gratitude, we thought you’d show.
The pain runs deep, is this a phase?
We can’t worry, we’ve kids to raise.

One of these days, you will mature
Knowing we tried, must to nurture
We are hoping, then you will
We were right here, but where was she?


Details | I do not know? | |

Stress and Pain

One big happy said fairytale
Take the pain and no gain
Take the slights and not retribution
Take it all in without an out.

Exploding from the inside out
In silence, crying, hurting, writhing in pain and misery
Never knowing what it’s like to be just okay
Never knowing what it’s like to have love unconditional

Hated and revered 
Don’t show them the pain 
They don’t understand,
You are the one that is in wrong. 

Take it all 
Deal with it
Live with it
It’s your fault he’s like this

You carried him
You made him the way he is. 
Deal with the pain and suffering
Deal with the stress and the dirty looks

It’s always your fault 
No one else’s 
You should know that by now. 
Take you punishment and like it

God’s listening but this is his plan
Pain and suffering for those that screw up
No love for those that dare to be of a different mold. 
No salvation for the wicked souls of men

Shut it up 
Swallow it down
No one cares
No one’s around

No tears will make a difference
No whining will help the cause
No yelling will change people’s minds
No matter what you do you won’t be accepted


So….why try? 
Be yourself no one else
If they don’t like to hell with them
To hell with you and your self loathing


Details | Free verse | |

Disorder

Anxiety of worries
stresses in life
emotional fears
rigid in perception
patterns unbroken
frozen in movement
from opportunities passed.

Avoiding of participation
sitting on the sidelines
watching in slow motion
the fear of dying
hearts racing fast
in much anticipation
reclusive and isolated
from the world
passing you by
trapped in a prison
that is no lie
immobilized I cry.


Details | Rhyme | |

What you are made up to be

foolish within that shows through the skin, you're hopeless but hoping for the worst for me. I don't care for you, and never will. You will see when you burn in hell, in the future near you'll see that I wasn't the one wrong, so don't try to be sincere. You think it's all about you, when the truth is no one wants anything to do with you. You've already over thought it all, and now you're all alone starring at the wall. I bet you realize now that the pain you feel you caused yourself. Within in all, comes the suffering of withdraw. All the pills that you've swallowed won't save your sorrow.


Details | Free verse | |

Don't let it slip away

Stripped, abused and tortured.
Help me, my life's but one -
Don't let it slip away!




Authors notes

Enforcing a picture and or meaning in 15 words.


Details | Senryu | |

The Doorway of Death

What makes a person Decide to participate In the life of drugs?


Details | Rhyme | |

Three Wooden Crosses

beneath this iron maiden
lies three wooden crosses

such tragedy comes to those
with their life losses

fourteen fifteen and sixteen
even in the backseat a beauty queen

mother told them not to go
father told them to take it slow

waving goodbye off they went
riding on tires with a wheel thats bent

out comes the beer and the weed
being such fools tossing around the seeds

ran a stop sign just up the road
got smashed by a trucker hauling a load

spun the car into a lamp post
now three bodies linger around as ghost

but the beauty queen did survive
by wearing her seatbelt and thanks god shes alive



Please Talk To Your Kids
Drinking And Driving Dont' Mix
And Alway's Remember That Seatbelt


Details | Free verse | |

Burns and Blood

She lays in a hospital bed
As a nurse changes her bloody rags.
On those rags is the young girls burned skin
And boiled blood.
The nurse stumbles back because of the smell
Horrified by odor the nurse leaves the room.
The little girl lays their still breathing
Cords under her skin to keep her alive.
Burned form head to toe 
By the church 
Accused of being a witch
Her skin black like volcanic ash
a white plastic wall surrounds her to keep stuff from touching her.
Another nurse walks in the room
Just to see what is inside the plastic wall
As the nurse looks at the young girl
Who has been scared sad and alone.
For a long time.
The little girl looked back at the nurse.
She hurt her by just looking at the nurses eyes the windows to the soul.
The nurse ran out scared fearful of the girl
The little girl looked back up
A dark figure loomed towards the little girls plastic wall
Putting its hand on it promising they will pay for what they have done.
The little girl raised her hand to the figures and touched it.
Vein like cords spread around the plastic walls turning it black
The hole hospital turned to a rusted nightmare.


Details | Acrostic | |

Do I have to spell it out? (2006)

Deep blue
Echoes 
Persistently 
Repeatedly and 
Encroaches 
Sadly and 
Slowly 
Inside the forbidden
Only to make you
Never what to return again  


Details | Lyric | |

My life

I have been through a hard life
too much drama
a mother who don't love me
too much stress
my life is really complicated
I tried taking my life again
I guess because I don't want
to be here anymore
so much stress
I admit I need help
my life is crazy
I lost the love of my life
my best friend is worried about me.


Details | Bio | |

Decisions

Going thru each day,
feeling just fine.
Not realizing my life,
was on the line.
Then out of the blue,
I caught a cold one day.
Not knowing that my life,
was changing in every way.
The loss of appetite,
caused my weight to shed.
The shortest of walk’s,
I had learned to dread.
My life force was drained,
I had no energy at all.
I couldn’t even walk,
I could barely crawl.
Not being able to breathe,
cut off my oxygen source.
The doctors couldn’t tell me,
what was wrong, of course.
I prayed every night for God,
to take me out, you see.
For deep down in my heart I knew,
what it must be.
The life that I lived,
was full of sin.
Sex, drugs, and rock & roll,
I couldn’t win.
I’ve not only hurt myself,
but those I hold dear.
I’m afraid to get close to anyone,
or let anyone near.
Because of my past decisions,
I will die it seems.
But I am not afraid,
because he redeems. 
Now that I have Jesus,
with-in my heart.
I am no longer dead,
nor torn apart.
This is an awful disease,
that I have, it’s true.
But the Love of my savior,
will see me through.
I always thought that this,
couldn’t happen to me.
I pray that you will open your eyes,
so that you can see.
Be careful of the decisions you make,
each and every day.
The decision made right now,
can affect tomorrow in every way.



Details | Personification | |

A Scar Is A Scar


I am very lonely today. Surely, 
my sorrow will last 
for a life time.  The Earth fell 
on me. First, my boss is kicking me out, for I am not 
of good use these days. Second, my Doctor says--

“You must be quarantined to prevent 
the outbreak of the virus!” Yes, I am infected with 
a deadly virus. I don’t know where I got it. 

I worked hard and even obeyed everyone, instantaneously  
to achieve my goal, my career. Shame, I over exposed--
myself. I’m dead! Now, what will I do?
 
I shared this bad news to my family and friends--
they were shocked! I prayed, in solitude, for help. Well, I got 
a message from someone of good heart, offering me

His magic cure. Although, I can easily follow 
the instruction: “Click this balloon”-- 
to remove the PSW.x-Vir Trojan trapped inside my body 
still, I am not happy. You know why--
whaah, I am no longer a virgin and a scar is a scar!


Details | Couplet | |

I Want My Mommy

as I lie in this womb
for it's my heart you'll hear beat soon

da beat beat beat
and da tapping of tiny feet

attached cord
was my mighty sword

words of disgrace
embedded in my taste

drug of ill fath
served on my plate

you have rather me died
than to hear my wimper and cries

I could of made you proud
instead of being wrapped in this tiny shroud

now I am someone else's angel
wearing a nice shinny golden halo


as my unspoken words goes out to you
I hope your next child won't have to go through this too




Tribute To The Unborn


Entery For 
Raul Moreno's
Unspoken Words Contest
GL All


Details | I do not know? | |

THE DEADLY HUNTER

In town was a flea,
a deadly hunter of lives.
Leaving the tiny bushes,
in other to graduate to other levels.

It sought for the streets,
to explore another kind of life.
A gradual killer it was,
injecting every of its found preys.

The streets were pretty much unwise to have noticed
his tricks and they aided his planned missions.
It had then succeeded on some who loved
and couldn't do without the five minutes uncovered.
Promoted itself to a level of transplantation.
Now the deadly hunter has being found to be a virus.

There came a horrified exclamation of disgusts,
not to do something is to be crippled fast.
It had become a saga
after filling their sacks and glands with poisons.


Details | Didactic | |

All Holding Hands

ALL HOLDING HANDS

Shiny and new,
Brilliant and blue,
Covered in crystal white,
Oh'...what a sight,
The freshness - sweet and light.
More than a treasure,
Wonder - pleasure.
Silver and gold,
Perfect folds 
And stately moulds.

Across shores and sands,
Gently sloping lands,
All holding hands -
To what it commands.

Our yearning for this and these,
Above, beyond the trees,
With us down here - please.
To scrape and scratch,
To beg, to match,
To be the first to latch.

Pounding, raging heart,
Things must have - not part -
Protect, defend - at the start.
New and more to eat and gaze,
Of old tradition to amaze
Of rightful duty within the haze.

Over all - our racing eyes,
"Come in, come in" to idealise -
Must have, to hold, to prize.
We were there, we saw,
Fascinated with gore, 
‘More - we want more’.

Cheers and tears,
Covered welcomely in ours and theirs…
Through the years -
Of gain and loss,
We Search and Cross
The desert and the moss.

And these things once blue,
Shiny and new,
To it we threw. 
And to it they go,
Rows upon rows,
In fields not to grow.
To be tossed and returned,
Faded and burned
"What did they learn?" 

These fields of rot,
Safekeeping the have nots,
Side by side
Hide, forever they hide.
Under dirt they lay,
Forgotten with earth and hay -
Still - to stay.
Together forever they hide,
Side by side
Hide, forever they hide.

Across shores and sands,
Gently sloping lands,
All holding hands -
To what it commands.


Details | Free verse | |

Sad State of Affair's

Conflict and fear
still useless mechanic's
within' the framework
of our mind's gear's.....

The battlefield's rage on the greater stage
while humanity wage's the smaller within'
inner conflict becomes the outer we inflict
instead of nourishing love to cherish
we extinguish each in fear and perish
sad legacy of divinity for humanity
defilement of divine unity...a tragedy

Exchanging love for fear and hatred
false sense of security is hurried
by those who perpetrate hate,and
would have us believe in what they create

Whether it's a neighborhood brawl
an ugly scene in our learning hall's
all this violence only stall's
our purpose true,
to become better and improve

Until we,individually,can accept this truth
we will continue this trash heap
this polluted state of mind we'll keep
as love continue's to look upon and weep.......


Details | Narrative | |

' Jennie - Pennie (My Big Sister)

Everywhere I Look … I See Jennie
Short, Red-Hair and a Smile, So Bright and Pretty
Jeanette … my Older, Big Sister… I Wish I was More Like Her…
        … My Dear Jennie … My Sweet Jennie …

Treated me like I was Her Baby … That was Jennie
Helped me to be a Real-Lady … Just like Jennie
Taught me how to Share and just how to say my Prayers …
        … Jennie … Great Lady Jennie

She was in Her Early Adult Years and I was Young Too
… when Mama Left… There was nothing, We Could Do …
            … Cancer … is not a Loving Word …
        I Wish It Had Been The Last I’d Heard …
                … Oh Jennie … Loving Jennie …

In that Cold-Clinical-Room … Lay Jennie
She Would Be Leaving Soon – God ! … Not Jennie !
She asked me, ‘Did She Fulfill … God and Our Mama’s Will …?’
        Yes, You Did Jennie… I Said You Did Jennie !

… She was in Her Late, 40-Years, but Still, Much Too Young To…
… Like when Mama Left… There was nothing, We Could Do …
                     … Cancer … is not a Loving Word …
                    I Wish It Had Been The Last I’d Heard …
                           … Oh Jennie … I Love Jennie …

When I Wrote This Song … I was Missing Jennie
God … We Can’t Believe She’s Gone … I Loved Jennie
        Jennie-Pennie … You Kept Your Promise…
                  Mama Will Be Proud of Us…

… May Jesus, Call Jennie … When The Time Comes, Please Call Jennie
          Lord Call Jennie … Lord Call Mama … and Then Lord Call Me …

            Jennie, Left Loved Ones... February 29th, 1992 …
          I hate Leap-Years Now …. ‘til I Leap of Faith to You …
                     … Cancer … is Not A Loving Word ! ! !
                             Will It Be The Last I Heard ? …


                      In Memory of my Beloved Sister
                                        Jeanette


Details | I do not know? | |

save me from death

Running in Succession
Bleeding in the brain
Skip the pain
Give me the morphine
Knock me out for a day
Lip syncing the words to my beloved song
Surrounding me in the soft blanket of coughs

As I drift off to sleep
My sickness is cured
It comes back three months later,
It's even worse.
The ache is way too vast.
My head is revolving
Is there a way to get past?

New symptoms
Shaking uncontrollably,
Sadness overtaking
Depression overwhelming
Hope is now gone,
Love is no more.

My path of prospect goes black and white,
The pain is gone at once.
My eyes roll back into my head
My hearing becomes faint.
Inadequate signs of death.
The rise and fall of my chest,
The slow beat of my heart straining,
Life is suddenly becoming afraid of death.
Come quick I say,
Save me from bereavement,
Save me from death.


Details | I do not know? | |

Music

You are the one keeping me on earth, 
like gravity keeps pigs from flying.
You weave in and out of my emotions,
giving me a new perspective on life.

You make me feel,
as if I am untouchable.
You make the sad emotions,
stay out side of the headphones.

From the bass of pop music,
bumping throughout my soul,
to the violin in country music,
playing it's way throughout my heart.

You are the one escape I know I can run to.
You make me want you on sad days,
I need you like a soul,
needs a body.

I need you music, 
like a singer needs I song, I need you 
cause I’m a dancer and life would be empty,
without you.

I need the rhythms of your soul
Running through my veins
your lyrics twirling around my brain
I love you.

I love you like a Popsicle loves the stick
I love you like the stars love the dark
Like my body loves to spin.
Like my muscles love oxygen


Details | I do not know? | |

Wide open eyes

What will happen to me.
i didnt want to know.
she gave the advice i didnt want.
will i fail
will i keep my head high
im afraid,
deathly.
of whoever has chosen my fate
i dared to ask.
she says
who knows, 
not i said she
believe what you believe, 
love what you love,
and live how you havent lived
i thank her
and told her,
her ramblings didnt make sense.
so just go away.
i get up, grab my ciggs,
my lighter, 
and head to the bathroom
im back to where i started
staring at another white wall
smoke clouding my brain
the deathly smell lingering and clinging to my hair
I think i think i think
when ill quit these bad habits.
and open my wide eyes?


Details | Free verse | |

Inside Your Head

When I first took up residence,
We were neighbours who kept to ourselves.
But I needed more room
Abundantly provided
Thanks to your unwitting generosity.

That's when your trouble started.
Those odd bouts of tiredness
You put down to overwork and stress.
All you needed was a holiday
Or so you were led to believe.

I was sorry about your little headaches
But I had to stretch myself still further.
Even beyond that point we were doing so well
Until you began seeing double.
That's when all hell broke loose
And they found you had an unwanted guest.
They tried to evict me
But I had burrowed deep 
To keep you as my host.

Our symthanatic relationship
Means we must go together.




Details | Light Poetry | |

' Drugs '

You looking for something to ease your Pain
Or make-believe It takes you to the Top of Your Game…
Think You can handle … too much of a good Thang’
Too Bad… Too late, You’re Hooked… Crying Shame

Got You Laying Down and Lying ‘Round, like a Rug
… that’s why they call it… Drugs !

Riding Round, from one end of Town to the Other
Got You Hunting, like a Hound-Dog, or A Mother …
Why You working 38 hours a Day?
Energy, has Up, Up, Up – Gone Away
You know you can’t stay-on, … wake-up… Hey!

Have you ever seen a Junkie’s Police – Mug ?
… that’s why they call it… Drugs !

Don’t let Nobody, say you need some of That !
That’s the Sound of  ‘The Monkey’ Laughing on Your Back
… Paranoid, Withdrawals, Psycho-Suicide
You’re in a Fix… Honey , , , ‘That Ain’t High !’

That’s Your Head, in that rope, like a Hangman’s- Hug
… that’s why they call it… Drugs !

Got You working for a Pipe-Dream, in a Bag
Makes You take one last shot or one last (puff-puff) Drag
Drag You thru the lowest, bowels of the Earth
… preparing Your Body for 6 feet of Dirt

Crush you like a low-down, dirty-Dung-Bug
… that’s why they call it… Drugs !

There You go – Mistaking – Chasing Bad to Worse
Caught You stealing, from Your Own Momma’s Purse !
Tonight, You Cracked into a Stranger’s Home
… Man ! … Did You Pick, the Wrong One ! …

… at  the end of that Trail… was a Gun-Shot-Slug
… that’s why they call it… Drugs


(Because, what Family Has Not Been Touched  By, or
 Does Not Fear This For Their Loved Ones)


Details | I do not know? | |

Love your Son / Honor thy Father

Someone once told me the secret of Happiness...

  unstable as the pity of man
  seeds grew too less of honor
  between cries and those moments
  hearts stuck at the hour between Fear and Disbelief
  when dreams come true, why do i awaken 
                          to a nightmare continued
  rattled at the sound, screeching
  shadows creep, in silence
  ...because...


Someone once told me the secret of Happiness...


Details | Verse | |

Two Other Little Boys

I sat and watched two little boys die,
on my TV screen last night.
I sat and watched as each in turn,
lost his uneven fight.
They died from something we don't fear,
they died because they were poor,
they died from pneumonia brought on by diarrhoea,
which for us is so easy to cure.
I will never forget their mothers cries,
or the anguish of their faces,
once more their reality magnifies,
the inequalities between our races.


Details | Free verse | |

either or

In the cracks of the ghetto walls
the eyes of the addict bleed for more
the smoke billows through the lungs of the panhandler
thirsty for more the alcoholic quenches his thirst
and the smoker doesnt realise he is getting high
the drug dealer the underground secret service
among kings of the poor leading the rich to success
society society is this what is before our eyes
fallen and spoken for?


Details | I do not know? | |

Christmas Cares,A Rich Man Stares !

Christmas carols linger in the air...Except
for the homeless and hungry,who could not
do anything else but to hunger and not care!
Songs of merryment are unleashed into the
busied city streets...The well to do are
out buying caviar and champaigne,and silken
sheets!TV ads give messages to go out and
spend...While the holidays bring to the
poor,only hunger and suffering in sight,
that will seem to never recede and end!
How can the rich sleep at night,knowing that
the poor sorrowfully suffer?It is indeed to
bed,for those unfortunate,hungry people
who cannot afford to buy or eat a
well nourishing supper! 


Details | Free verse | |

A past setting Sun

A day has passed with a setting sun risen once more
Washed away all traces of last night it did
When stained across the leaves . . . one tear from my eye unbroken 
Fallen in a screaming one million times over again through teeth shut tightly
Again all over once more it falls
Falls and tears asunder the earth beneath my feet
Leaving a gaping maw behind
Hungry to swallow all of me it does, has done, will do if I dare to sleep
If I . . . if

Wherein did the night go, if at all? I ask
For still beneath this sun holding its light fast and tightly
I stand above the broken earth in shadows deep
Born of lavender run to deepening sorrows
As if the air all around me could speak, would speak, will speak
Already has cried out to scream like this wailing soul stuck inside my chest
Scream to echoing everything!!
Everything that I am, have been, will be, ever was . . . could ever be
To pay and spare this pain I see yawning before my brother’s broken life

And there it is,
The why of the darken cloud
Hanging above me weeping tears across my soul
Echoes, echoes really, just echoes
Of the shrieking in my heart
The crying unwashed tears breaking across my waking mind
Thundering like a thousand waves crashing across the sea
To . . . 
To smash through my unconscious mind like . . .
Like a past setting sun

When it will rise no more


Details | I do not know? | |

The Death of America

Dear Mr. President,

          How wise of you to let America the land of the free and the home of the 
brave suffer in the same warfare you put our troops through. How coward of you 
to hide in the nick of time while your precious country be destroyed by the very 
people you gave our money to. How selfish of you to keep all Black, White, 
Spanish, Japanese, Asian, and Philippine soldiers in Iraq just so you conquer 
another piece of land to fill your void for power. How ignorant of you to even run 
for president when you know all you bring to this state is chaos. Have you thought 
of the thousands of family members that were relatives of the September 11th 
victims? Why would you leave the people of Hurricane Katrina to die while you 
rest peacefully on a trip playing golf? You call yourself a president I call you 
hypocrite. Why would you want to bring about the destruction of all the American 
citizens that elected you as their leader? The death of America has come about 
the end to mankind as we know it. For those fools who elected you Mr. President 
thanks to you they have dug they're early grave. I have just one question to ask, 
have you even noticed the death of this country? I don't believe you have. Your 
head so far up in the sky you didn't realize that the death of America was you.


Details | Free verse | |

God's Little Critters

vast wilderderness she lays her head 
moss strewn rock beds and nil vegetation 
in the distant the lone wolf begins to howl 
no sun to call her own   
just gotten entangled in a predators sneer 
shes begins gnawing frantically
blood soaked coating
and one less hoof to stand with
this tiny deer finally had gotten freed
just as I was picking up the phone to
call animal control to help out
one of God's own little critters  




Tribute To
God's Critters

Also Entry For
Laura Mckenzie's
Beyond Nightfall Contest


Details | ABC | |

THINGS NOT EQUAL

THINGS NOT EQUAL

There are those who reach an age past  100,
while some never chanced to live.
There are those who share their blessings,
while some choose not to give.

There are those who have never gone hungry,
while some never survive.
There are those who find fame and fortune, 
while some dreams shatter and die.

There are those who are rich and famous,
while some are poor and alone,
There are those with power and possessions,
while some are without a home.

There are those who are happy and healthy,
While some are sick and depressed.
There are those who believe life is the end,
while some say:  “it was just a test!”

By Milton Lopez Delgado
December 4, 2011


Details | Lyric | |

Aunt Beryl, Your Last Journey

Now your struggles are ended,
Of body and mind.
May your battles be remembered, 
With our passing time.

For years you had suffered,
Pain capturing your will,
Destroying all promises,
Of the day you would be healed.

We' re shared precious moments,
And at time revealing our fears,
We talked of those days we'd,
Soon be over the hill.

I felt in your footsteps,
And saw you in mine,
Those times we discussed,
Your life with pain,
And I with mine.

I've thought of you often,
And even at times did shed a tear,
I had ask our Creator to look upon you,
As "special" and let your remaining days,
Be free of all your pains and fears.

You told me of some good times,
And even shared some of your blues,
I've seen the tracks of loneliness,
Thru a blinded tear or two.

We both knew our days were not forever,
And our stories would have to end.
I'll cherish those times we opened our hearts,
And in sharing our pains,
We both found a friend.

Your body and spirit are parted now,
Each going their own seperate way,
A journey I think you welcomed,
After so many darken days.

Friends, as well as loved ones,
Knew of your kindness within,
We now mourn for your departure,
For life's battle, you did not win.

Now your body free of pain at last,
Now peace will live with you forever,
In that bright glorious land.

Remember?  I told you of a tunnel?
Not to far away from here?
And that bright light was waiting...
And what peace you would find within.

Now you know I have been there,
For before you it all appears,
Just as I told you,
The bright light will dry your tears.

Now I know not of this other world you are in,
I only know of the journey,
Of which you have been.

When you reunited with our Maker,
I know your final home you found,
May God walk with you,
As you explore those Heavenly grounds.

Aunt Beryl I will miss you,
And think of you often....
YOU know I realized THEY were real,
And would some day separate your body from your soul.

Close your eyes and welcome your sweet rest,
For time is of no more.

Your loved ones all gathered,
With sorrow showing about,
Unbound tears fell as soft raindrops, seeming as tho,
They wanted to shout.

 The flowers beautifully laid about you all aglow,
Your beauty giving inspiration,
As if for them to grow.

With life gone from your body,
And the spirit from your soul,
I now feel your story must be told.


 


Details | Lyric | |

Please Say A Pray For Carl

I have a friend that called me last night
He called to tell me the biopsy had came back
Hearing the hesitance in his voice
 I tried to braced myself for what was about to be heard

As he began telling me the bad news
I felt my body weakening 
I felt my hands began to shake
I felt my tears swelling up inside
Oh God how I needed to cry

He has fought so hard the first time around
Doing each and everything he was told to do
Obeying his doctors
Abiding by all the rules
His desires to conquer
This thing called "cancer"
Never failed to show through

But this time his spirit doesn't seem the same
The eagnerness in his voice has not remained
Being the man of which he is
Has dealt  with misfortune
For many years

His childhood days brought him "polio"
Slowing him down
But once an adult
It never stopped him from carrying 
Life's heavy load

His adult years has been spend
Working and striving to pay his bills
Wanting hand outs was not his will

Now that the "cancer" has spread
To other parts within
I pray that God will spare him
For this is a good man

I ask of all who may read my words
Please say a pray for Carl
And may our voices all be heard
 
          And to Pam, Carl's girlfriend, may I add
                   Thank you for being the kind
                       And loving person you are
                           And thank you for loving my dear friend.


Details | Free verse | |

Last sighting

Still searching we walk to edge of tide
To where waters tickle the toes 
At different edge each night
Here you were last seen
That dreadful night
Disappearing

Washed away with tidal sands and seas
Your mind tormented with unease
Released by natures blessing
As each wave comes over
Fleeting moments lost
As older things
remembered

Your footprints gone only whispers remain
Your life we shared and loved, we cared
Left to us are solemn memories
Of many days gone by
And still we try 
To find your
Lonely soul
Lost

And so the seaside weathers gently call
And seagulls cry around rocky shore
Last sighting of you was walking
In the sand one misty morning
And although not one print 
Was  left for us to find
There is some peace
From knowing that
You were smiling


Details | Rhyme | |

Mom Doesn't Listen To Me

as I explore the depths of 
my inner being there's a few 
things that I have not 
been hearing or seeing

like my little girl's voice 
wispering thru the night
come hold me close mama 
for I feel such fright

or why can't you get out of bed 
your eyes look swollen and 
looks awful garsh darn red

and like why cant you come
to my school I 'm just trying
to make you proud of what I 
can accomplish too

also why do I have to go live 
with my dad when you had me
weren't you feeling nothing but glad

for eleven years I had to live
with these inner fears of not being able
to be a fulltime mother to my little girl
who I love so dear and cannot everyday hear

so to this day I will continue 
to fight and pray that the
heavens beams of rays
will let me enjoy my 
beautiful angel again one day
and thats what I need to say





I Have been stricken with an ungodly illness for 25 yrs
that prevents me from being a fulltime mother 
to my Jenny Rose the sickness has to do with
severe migrains to stomach there is no cure 
only injections to try to abort spells then I lay 
in a dorment state for up to 9 hours
it ruined my life literly



Also this is entry for Kristin Renyold's 
what you need to hear contest


Details | Free verse | |

Beautiful Interruption

You have come so quickly,

Where do I begin to

Warmly welcome you?

You are unexpected,

My beautiful interruption.

How do I come to reasons?

Skeptic of your coarse, your purpose,

I only arrive to disillusions and discord.

Should I be shocked? As if nothing led

up to the fateful present....

Well, I could

For the sum of all these

Are not so easily understood.

The long waited meltdown has begun

A mountain of pride

begins to collide

Certainty is no more, I have left it in mercy's hands

The bitter acceptance still has not settled in

For you force your way to stay

And I, I have nothing else to do

I have no choice, but to only leave my life up to a hopeful chance.

 



Details | I do not know? | |

Epidural

Serious enough of a procedure
That I have to go through
Injecting me with steroids
Is what they’re going to do
They will shoot a needle 
Into a disc in my spine
I will be awake for this
To let them know I’m fine
To make things go better
They use a live x-ray
Which helps overcome some of the obstacles
That is in the way
Who even knows if this will help me?
It possibly could make me worse
I’m praying that it lifts from me
My pain which is my curse
So, I hope to see better days
After this is done
To get back to the me I know
Free of pain and having fun


Details | Rhyme | |

Mama ! Whats Wrong With Me

mama !  whats wrong with me
crawling on this floor on bended knees
a bucket a towel and kleenix for when I sneeze
injections where the sun doesn't shine or glee

please tell me mama what was given to me
emergency visits and sirens for all to come run and see
test and more test without any answers given to thee
is it unknown or was this meant for this to be
my sickness I have deep inside thats stops me from running free


mama how could you have given this to me
was it through your dna or excitment to its fifth degree
or was it too much sun in the eyes for I beg and plea
mama what have I've done to deserve these nasty heaves


mama please help me help me please
three days of hell to its fullest degree
is not what I want for the world to see
of me  lying on the floor as I beg and plea
mama please help me help me please





note
for last 25yrs I have been suffering 
with unknown illness that prevents me
 from having a full life and took me away from
being a full time mom to my jenny I have to take 
injections that make me stop throwing up 
to 3 days and meds makes me sleep 
up to 9 hours sometimes
this sickness is called CVS   
{cyclic vomiting syndrom}
found in children 
and now adults too 
mostly women

no cure no remedy 
just things to help ya through the night
oh what fun    LOL              







                                     


Details | Ballad | |

Agoraphobia

There are places in this world
that i can't go
The safest place i know
is inside of my home.
At times i just feel
so low
And other times i question my
motivations for getting out of bed and coming
up with the answer being unknown.

People that i'll never meet or see
as they pass by on the street
nervously i turn the key
to get back to my room.
And if you asked me this today
i'd tell you i'd never asked to be this way
can't help it if it's to hard for me
to breathe.

There are doctor's and psychiatrist's
who tell me all the time that im fine
and they know just how i feel.
There are doctor's and psychiatrist's
that it's all in my mind
but they don't understand that
it's real.

Most just don't understand how hard
it is to be dealt this hand.
Now im not complaining it could
be worse.
But people mock and laugh because
of this brand.
Makes me punch the wall in anger breaking
it with my fists.

Walk just one day in my shoes
Just how good would you do?
Would you let everything ride?
Or just run way and hide?
All the pain and misery
Lonely nights when you can't sleep
All the thoughts inside your head
Feeling nothing more than dead
Go ahead i challenge you
Take some time and think it through
Then maybe you'll know what it's like
to be me, and not you.
                                                                                                                                             
There are doctor's and psychiatrist's
who tell me all the time that im fine
and they know just how i feel.
There are doctor's and psychiatrist's
that it's all in my mind
but they don't understand that
it's real.
There are doctor's and psychiatrist's
who tell me all the time that im fine
and they know just how i feel.
There are doctor's and psychiatrist's
that it's all in my mind
but they don't understand that
it's real.


Details | Free verse | |

What are we doing to us?

What are we doing to our planet? 
Processing oils, 
pumping air with oxides;
be them sulphur, 
or nitrogen gas.
Burning coals,
manufacturing chemicals.
Making acid rain -
burning our -
dumb ass!


Details | I do not know? | |

You Say I Am Your Angel

You say Im your Angel here to watch over you,
While your at a low, your health isn't what it should be, 
But your the one that shines bright out of the darkness,
Your the one I look up to and aspire to be like you see,
Your strength is astounding and too much for words to say, 
You bring a smile to my face and tears In my eyes, 
I wish I could be there more but the distance gets in the way,
To be able to hold you near and tell you it will all be fine, 
To wipe away your tears and tell you that you will make it through,
To hold you up when your too weak and stay by your side,
You say Im your Angel here to watch over you,
But your light shines so brightly even when to you it feels dim,
It breaks my heart to feel your pain I wish i could shut it all away,
But no matter how much it breaks my heart I am always here,
You won over a place in my soul and till the end of my days you will stay,
When your feeling the pain we go to a special place in our heads,
Where the stars shine brightly over the sandy desert,
Where there is no sound and we are still and calm instead,
You say Im your Angel here to watch over you,
But Why am I the one who feels so blessed,
Your friendship to me is like an unbreakable bond, 
Im standing right beside you in this life's test, 
You do not have to be strong around me I can take the weight of you,
I can carry your burdens while you grow strong again,
There is only one thing I ask of you to do, 
Promise to come back to me before u lay down to sleep, 
And I will pray for you my angel.


Details | Light Poetry | |

SHOE SOLES

theyer  run down
you  feel like a clown
as the flop side by side
my feet is wide
it hard to guild
and these or no lies
the old
SHOE SOLES


Details | Free verse | |

THE ENNUI OF THE LOST

Ennui conspires insipid moods
infringing human awareness,
ruled by a lunatic vision,
not controlled by insight and lucidity;
and a desire for a Dolce Vita
mollifies a false illusion
to appear on an intaglio, to gradually
become a shining insignia.


To steer a ship, takes effort and patience,
and if its course is guided by favorable winds,
all is well for the adventurous captain;
and should he lose focus, lured by lunacy and nihilism,
his enthusiasm wears off and failure sets in...
and his ship will lurch on unfriendly waves,
and his ennui deprives him of courage to deviate
from the safe route when nocturnal vision is lost indeed.


Ennui insinuates myopia,
muzzling the voice and halting 
the mind's performance,
thus forging the promise of utopia; 
and the hunch is to pursue intuition
whenever it may lead...being
the holster controlling the steed,
getting rid of the humdrum and huff,
humming and ignoring the hourglass,
which trickles the sand to infuse fear.
    


Details | Rhyme | |

Innocents

In a war-torn town on a cold Christmas morn' two children huddle close trying to keep warm. They have asked for no presents, no toys of fun, just for the gift of life and the silence of the gun.


Details | Romanticism | |

Dancer of the Clearing

the fire that she danced about
suffused the air
with the thick, enduring scent
of burning wood;
that decadent fragrance.

her hips switched and shifted -
just like an ocean’s tide
waving up and down her figure.
her movements matched perfectly
the deep-toned rhythm
of the bass-drums surrounding.

above her head,
her hands swayed gracefully,
almost as if they commanded
this fire-lit symphony
with their own free will
in a seductively fluid
sequence of motions.

adorning her neck
was a milky white snake
and its ever-curious tongue;
coiled in perfect contrast
with the deep hues
of golden bronze
that outlined her shining figure.

her heavenly gaze
held just as much energy
and life
as nature aflame -
regrettably,
i never had the pleasure
of meeting those
shimmering blue pearls of her eyes
before thunder struck its own
mighty drum,
shaking the very fabric of nature.

the clouds of jealousy
rained down upon the clearing
and each spiteful drop
stung upon impact.

as a chilling breeze
swept me up and set me on my way,
the last thing i saw
before darkness enveloped
and drums ceased to beat
was the woman of the clearing
dancing steadily to her own heart
while lost in shadows
of the dying embers.


Details | Lyric | |

REALLY HERE

When will it be my turn.,to have a living life? Sometimes i sit and wonder, if it will 
be when i die...everyday i sit here,  sad and all alone...as everyone i care about, 
SIMPLY JUST GOES ON!
Have they just forgotten ME!, I AM REALLY HERE....!Do they even notice that I cry 
so many tears? I wish I really knew this,why my breaths always at risk..,when all 
it is ,i want or need, simply is just this......
Just to talk, or play a game, a minute of your time...I miss living LIFE so much, 
and being LEFT BEHIND...
Am I just a burden,or simply in tier way?,I hope and pray they never find 
themselves JUST like me someday!!!!!!


Details | Lyric | |

Life In A Box

As I sat today surrounded by millions of words,
As I glazed at the sheets....
Each bearing my emotions,
Or bearing one of my pains, 
But with each bearing an unbelievable story,
One that desperatly needs to be told....

My life of twenty-three years, 
All lay before me now,
Almost all running together,
Almost all becoming the same.

I upon paper started to write, 
As I began my fight for survial,
And the fight for my life.
That year being 1983... 
But yet now seeming as tho.....
Maybe just a year or so ago....

When a simple visit to a dentist....
Left me it's horrors....
And robbed me of my life...
My youth seeming to vanish over night.....

Not knowning......
The trails that lay ahead...
 Would soon just add...
 To my already living fears.

I know now all this paper became....a path....
A path chosen.....
Chosen, to carry me thru.....
Thru the up coming months of misery....
And many heartbreaking tears....

Yes today as I look into this box...
My life before me.....I am forced to recall.....
As sheets of paper.... 
Some faded with age...
All beganing revealing years of the ..... 
Unkowning.......
Years of my fears.....

Surgeons not knowing.... 
What the out come would be.....
Each trying so hard to just help me.....
Each knowing my sanity was laying.....
Laying close on the line..... .
 
Yes my pains were great....
And my spirits were low....
Pain had engulfed me....
As misery had taken its toll.....

You see my life as I had known it....
 All ended one day.....
I was left with lock jaw....
And oh in such a brutal way.....

I was left unattented..... 
With the matter growing worse.....
For the dentist that had harm me.....
Saw not the need to help me.....
But rather to hide behind....
His unexperienced years.

 With years passing...
And proper help not to be found....
My life was all shattered about me....
As my hope of recovery....
Began vanishing with time.....
 
So now I live with the results....
I live with all the disbelives....
Tho I surived it's wrath....
 I became a victim...
A victim of a crime.....

With these words all about me......
And as I said......
Each revealing a path....
All I ask when you read them...
Remember they helped  to save me....
On the many days....
I thought were my last......



Details | Lyric | |

THE HARLOT

The harlot
only comes out at night,
to solicit with her curves
and high heels...
money for her abused sexiness.
Lots of cheap perfumes
on her provocative 
and tight clothes;
deep red lipstick
on her dry, cracked lips.
Commanding
the glowing moon to walk with her
until morning, 
and running fingers in her long hair,
she embodies Venus to lure men.
And the harlot with a blonde-colored strand,
never tires of pacing 
these streets giving off their stench,
roaming dark alleys, where owls hoop...
warning her of another danger coming. 
The harlot,
spreads a disease that kills,
and those seeking pleasure
are fully aware of the consequences...
so why frequent this loathsome spot?    
She wouldn't care less,
as long as her purse is full,
and shots of cocaine thrill her demonic soul;
tomorrow night, this harlot will wear a different dress,
and deliriously laughing...she'll hope to cheat death.


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | I do not know? | |

Nothing

do you think it would be possible to be nothing?
to grow up to be nothing, to wish to be nothing
i think thats where ill end up being
with the things ive set in stone
with the things ive let out of cages
with the truth thats bitten me
i consider myself still little
still dreaming
still wanting and hoping
right now, id like to be free, kind of like nothing
but not in a negitive way
nothing as a gypsy roaming the street
always with a smile and a song
nothing as a hippie walkin around
with bud in the pipe and a peace sign in his hand
nothing as the fresh wind
happy, flowing, nice.
do you think its possible?


Details | Free verse | |

Cigarette Man

Just another day waking up to a cold empty house
The breath dragging deep outta my lungs
I walk outside and light up the morning's cigarette
Breathing in the smoke deep deep in my lungs

Emptyness as far as I can see against the shining sun
And brillant blue of the morning sky
But inside the gray clouds and storms brew, roll
Prayer that goes on don't let anyone see inside my heart

(This is a writing by my grandson who lives with me.)


Details | Lyric | |

mistake

I made a mistake
I tried taking my life
my friend found out
she went crazy
I can't believe I tried to take my life
I don't understand why
my friend wanted to cry
I regret doing it
I still try to take my life
I need help
a friend
a lover
someone to be there for me to help
someone who cares
I need to stop trying to take my life
I need to talk to someone
my friends
my family
someone.


Details | Lyric | |

Stress

I have been through a lot
trying a lot of stuff
I have tried to take my life
didn't work
I couldn't go through with it
don't know why
I have tried several times
but never succeeded
I realized I had too much to lose
I still think about it
I just don't understand why
I have lost alot in my life
sometimes I ask myself
what am I doing
and why
I still don't know why.


Details | Free verse | |

Touch

They heard a murmur in your chest,
a whisper:
tiny fish lips bulging the surface.
A bubble, a    b   u   r   s   t,
a blurp of sound
innocent as baby-lung collapses (expansions)
      -- a gurgle in the night: taciturn.
 

You had to swallow a tube
and I know you hated that.
You hated the taste of dependency:
machinery air -- filtered, rancid,
thick like plant water.
You said your throat rasped, your lungs opened 
with a sound like a suction cup,
and the machinery h i s s e d, licking its lips for alcohol and cancer.


They took pictures with sound waves,
rebounding them off your reverberating heart
and filling in the dark spaces with oscillating light.
And the whole time your chest continued its phthisic monologue,
whispering in stil.ted rib-cage morse code
-universal SOS, lighthouse wail-
leaving braille on the underside of your sternum
that not even I could    
               touch.


They said your heart had thickened beyond weakening,
churning your blood like milk into butter,
and I went into the bathroom and screamed myself h o a r s e
water running, hands over ears.


Later you would ask me why I splintered the mirror,
why I placed my palm and pushed 
until spider webs spun themselves under my fingers
and bits snapped and sunk like thinthin ice beneath tiny children. 
Why I stood in the road on a snowy evening,
arms outstretched,
waiting for the white of winter to consume me.

Why I cried as the shower beat down on me,
fingers searching for life beneath layers of skin:
tiny oval seeds g  r  o  w  i  n  g,
little black masses with tendrils sprouting,
    roots delving.
A lump in one breast,
transfigured ellipsoid: 
multiplying, metastasizing.
      --milky white matter with blue veins extending.


Why?

Because you found a way to die: beautifully, tragically, easily, undoubtedly
 
and we both know it was me
who wanted to breathe through tubes,
         no more heart      
murmuring.


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost Children and Babies

My heart feels constricted, breathless pain,
the homeless child, shall never gain.
My fingers stumble when reaching out,
humble feelings trembling with doubt.

My lifeblood's flow, has been denied,
listening as the lost children cried.
My hopes dashed, and thrown away,
like some unborn status played.

Dismembered, fetus of living hell,
from warmth, a lost child did dwell.
Encased in their own veil of sorrow,
no hope yesterday, today, or tomorrow.

Reach the ends of the neap's moonlit tide,
possess the young, unwed child bride.
My heart won't span the broken hours,
wombs of waste, lost wilted flowers.


Details | Ballad | |

The Truth Inside

Outside she's beautiful to everyone
always polite, always the brave one
but inside nobody notices she's screaming
for help.
Outside she's lying, inside the girls
bathroom stall she is hiding
clutching the door closed as she starts
crying.
Outside she's smiling
all of her friends don't have any clues
that her long sleeved shirts cover up
the cuts and the bruises.
Outside she acts fine
like nothing is wrong
but inside she's dying
everything is wrong.

Outside her face shines
Inside she's fading fast
Outside she acts fine
Inside soon she won't last.
She's just denying
everything to everyone
She's just trying not to
mess up anyone's fun.

She deals with it herself
why bother someone else
this is her problem
nobody needs to know.
So outside she shows her friends
a familiar face, not like her inside
a wasteland of an emotional state
The cuts bleed through her sweater's
her depression acts up more and more
Finally she breaks down, her face gets red
but she just can't take it anymore.
she confesses everything that's going on
and everyone reacts with a shock on there face
something that's been happening to a girl
they knew
all this time, all this pain inside her place.

Outside her face shines
Inside she's fading fast
Outside she acts fine
Inside soon she won't last.
She's just denying
everything to everyone
She's just trying not to
mess up anyone's fun.


Details | Rhyme | |

Pass It On

a piece of bread
is what god had said

take it for it is I through the body of Christ
now to me that is quite a sight

as it lays amidst 
my hands tonight

for I often think of my brothers and sister in africa
and often think of them not being tucked in their beds

I often think of their innocent children 
who are lying dead

and I often keep thinking
of what God had said

so tonight I come to 
share my wine and bread instead 

with those others who may
have not been watered or fead

as my tears start to now shed
and start flowing beads of red

for it's the blood of christ
lost during his plight

so as I stare at this cup also tonight
I sip and pass it with being so polite

to my brothers and sisters in christ
for it leaves me feeling sheer delight


Tribute To Our Lord

Also Entry To Sami Al Khahli's
A Piece Of Bread Contest


Details | Free verse | |

Distemper

Fictional for a prompt:- think outside the box in sixteen words.


Frothing at mouth
Distemer shows itself
Taking over body and mind
Mans best friend 
Slowly dies




Please, please, please get your animals/pets vaccinated!


Details | I do not know? | |

PROZAC

Zac you are a pro
When it comes to feeling
Nothing,
 you take me to a place
Without sensation.
To numb the pain you take
Both dark and light,
I have become
A shadow of last springs flower,
I have become
An arid vessel with nothing to carry.
Zac you are a pro
At seeing things a different way;
But I like the color
And the twisted shapes,
I like the tears and how they taste,
I like that there is still something within
That beats.
You are a pro Zac at what you do,
But I like my tuneful sadness
And my strange ways,
I no longer wish for the emptiness you offer
But crave some kind of life instead.
You are a bitter pill 
That I can no longer stomach


Details | I do not know? | |

Prozac

Pills from the doc
His opinion one cannot mock
Need to take the meds
Designed to fix bad heads
Invented by boffins
To save many coffins
The meds we take
Enough to decorate a cake
Do we feel well
Do we hell
Meds are a bodge
Nickname is now podge
Big and round
Gained more than a pound
If only we knew
Fat and no one to screw
Motivation all askew
Can’t drink the brew
Aimless and un-driven
Fed up with livin
Find a purpose for it all
Life has become very small.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Old Poor Poet,Pained and Old !

Easy money goes from my pocket,as easily
as a man can climb out of the mouth of a
non moving rocket.My wallet is full of
many non-fluttering moth's,My arthritus
makes me move as slow as a slow
motioned tree sloth! Bang the drum slowly
as slow as sand,traveling down the neck
of an hour glass. I may be poor and i
may be slow,but alas i possess a high
falutin' habitual mannered like class!
Friends i may not have many,but i'll tell
you this-My wallet is held tighter than
o'le dead Jack Benny's! T'would be nice to
win that Power-ball lottery,For if it would
happen,i'd be so much more richer than 
that actor by the name of Sean Connery!
Poetry flows from my finger-tips,down to
the o'le computer keyboard,These achin'
joints keep me at bay alot,but these
thoughts just jump up to the o'le
computer screen,Which keeps me 
morally happily serene!Poets like to share
their love to good readers,because they
love to show off their powers as audience
pleasers!    

            01-14-2006'.


Details | Quatrain | |

Sweet Wine

Sweet wine in my veins
Wielding all the pains;
And music flowing soft,
For soul, not to wane!


Details | I do not know? | |

In Spite of a Rising Sun

In spite of this rising, darkening sun
I will bathe in the rays of the brightest light
And stare straight at the source
To prove that I will not lay down to die
Or lie paralyzed

I will dance beneath the brightness
of a million tanning salons being burned to the ground
And sing songs over the sounds of their collapse
To show that I will not go without resistance


Details | Free verse | |

Dying For A Dead End Job

Living from day to day,
Trying to make life a better day.
Doing the best you can,
To keep food on your plate,
And cool air from your fan.

Bettering yourself ,
The only way you know how.
Constantly wiping,
The sweat from your brow.
Satisfying the same rude boss 
And customers working so hard,
To not let them get the best of us.
Crying out to your family at home,
Because you and your colleagues 
Don’t get along.

Going home to answer the phone.
Finding yourself, doing the same 
Things at work as you do at home.
The same old job that causes you
To prematurely age  can’t  pay
You more than minimum wage.
While at home watching your T.V.,
Hoping and dreaming, to have a crib
Like a celebrity, you hope to have a
Chandelier like theirs. Then you look up
At your raggedy light fixture. Getting the
Blurry image of you sitting in an old beat
Up chair.

You’re thinking, “Hey, I work every day.”
“I work very hard, and I can’t even get 
My job’s credit card.” “What can I do?”
“I can do nothing but sit here and sob.”
“My health in success is failing, all 
Because I’m dying for a dead end job.”

wrote in college while
sick of retail work
(2003-2004) somewhere in that time


Details | Prose Poetry | |

TOOTH ACHE

it make s your head turn
your eyes burn
it can't eat can't sleep
you do walk the beat
 its kept you awake
a
TOOTH ACHE


Details | Ballad | |

Depression 10-9-03

                                            It began as a sadness
                                            A longing for something
                                            A something I couldn’t find
                                           It grows into a darkness
                                           A piercing darkness
                                           That slowly took over my mind


Details | Free verse | |

My Demon

Healthy state before, trip across the world,
all in the name of duty.
Called away from the safety of home,
doing the job I signed up for.

Safe return home, or so we thought.
All the while, harboring a demon within.
Sleeping in the darkness, hiding, waiting,
finally rearing It's ugly head.
Now I fight.
Struggle to understand this demon of mine,
scarred for life.  I have changed.
I can no longer do my will.
I live by His rules.
How can such a small entity control so much.
A miniscule thing made more powerful
by dangerous men in white coats,
working for the European devil
with his hammer and anvil.
All sold to the highest bidder.
This one, know as Satan's Hand
originating in the fertile crescent.
Our Man said none were found,
but slowly, this Wills Millions to Die
and he can't retract words
once spoken aloud,
therefore I am caught in between.

I fight this demon alone
scarred for life, he controls me.
I do what I can
and pray for future hope, future aid.
How long will I wait?
Like the boys afflicted by the secret citrus fruit.
I hope not.
I pray for fast action by our Man.
Dreams, I know, but without it,
my struggle is for naught


Details | Rhyme | |

" The Life Of Me " page 2 of 2

So in 83 i met a girl, Nicola's her name, my heart was a whirl 
We courted and married, in the space of 3 years 
It changed my life, disquelled previous tears 
Over the years, we are blessed with 4 kids 
Nightmares of the past, are now well rid

It's now 2008 and i'm feeling so low, just as lonely as i was before
There's various reasons for this lines to be said, as i stare at our house front door.
Dare i go through, but do i dare
James, it's not just about you - but your childrens welfare

What will i find inside or out, if someone can help me, please give me a shout
Will i ever find, what i'm looking for  - in this world or the next
It will be through my last door


" Well i have found what i am looking for, it's being read on this wonderful site - my
poetry. But the bigger plus is the people who are reading it, Poetry Soup Family "
                                                       ( Bless you all )

                                   http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php


Details | I do not know? | |

desperation

i dont want to drown
in unbearable sorroe
i dont want to be crushed
by the weight of despair


Details | Free verse | |

Oh Lord grant me just one more day

Fist smacks chest, I double over.
Pulls my hair, wrenching me up once more.
Imprints his thumbs and fingers bones 
Into my chin and cheeks,
Bruising - he crushes the virgin skin.
Presses his booze stinking breath against my face;
He bellows abuse and filth riled language toward me,
Fetch me this, no good for that, do it, bitch, do it now.

Dare not challenge for fear of what might come next,
Just do  as he says, kids are in bed - at least safe.
Placate him, ease his soreness, feed him - Let him sleep.
What then? Tomorrow he'll be different - sorry,
He loves me and his children, 
Just drink changes him - he becomes a monster,
Danger by night from chemical persuasion, intolerance, -
Surely not his fault - an illness - we'll get help.

Promises of love, of change; befall my ears next day.
We try again, but deep inside i know he's not ready,
Not ready to accept change and tolerance.
Not ready to seek the help of those who know more.
We don't go, queues for councillors months away, -
Time by which we think situation will have long passed.
How very wrong we could be as Friday nights pay comes in,
A familiar sickening pattern resumes. And fear sets in again!

Familiar prayer returns, as i ask to be a survivor. -
Oh Lord grant me just one more day, that I may live,
To find new hope, some where safe to lay my head.
To take the children that he may harm their gentle minds no more.
Send your soul to rescue us and free us to peace once more,
Only this time I will find the strength to go....Amen


Details | Free verse | |

Night terror

Panic as I roam the ash covered streets on an endless journey through 
smoldering buildings with a vile smell of burning flesh.

“Where is she!” with a constant skip of a record, building my anxiety to dangerous 
heights as the very source of life in the body begins to beat to the point of 
destruction.

Wanting to save her from the depths of hell on earth, at reach I am but too far to 
embrace as I hear her cries.

With a sudden jolt of panic, I slam the lids of my tearful eyes open to a reality of a 
realm in the present, which depicts a world not better than these terrors called 
dreams.

Water running profusely from my tormented soul, as I lie in that salty liquid that 
consumes the cloth hugging the cold clammy flesh of my body.

Misery fed by memories that invade my mind with such violence, relinquishing 
emotions with intensity to overwhelming to contain.

These clear like spheres of water running freely down the tender skin of my face 
leaving the eyes swollen and red as I gasp for air.

I’m alive just for today until I close my eyes and revisit hell, praying somehow that 
god will save me and allow me to sleep in peace.

   


Details | Bio | |

Mother

All of my life
I trusted you
But you always hurt me 
Whatever you do
Build up my hopes
Before you smash them down
Hurl some more insults
Laugh like a clown
Is it the liquor?
Or is this really you?
Just because you're miserable
Must I be too?
Where did you learn 
To be so cruel?
Why must all our conversations
End in a duel?
You've constructed a fortress
With bottles of beer
Even when you're sober
I wonder if you're sincere


Details | Rhyme | |

Dying Drugs

The feeling of weightless falling overcomes you,
A strong drug overdose your trying to pull through,
Down a deep roughcut well,
Glowing light at the bottom lies hell,
You press your fingers and toes on the sides,
Grinding them to nubs as your body still slides,
The pain and terror are unbearable,
You realize dying like this is terrible


Details | I do not know? | |

Strength of love

Wedged in the waves of suede, sinking;
Wearing your trademark beige; weathered with stains.
Strands of cotton shimmer on the scalp and
Scratch at the eyes. This is the massacre of age.

I can smell the piss. It rubs against me
In a wall of warmth when I kneel to the floor
To push on your slippers, fighting the moon-like
Grin of your yellow claws.

For a moment, on a knife’s edge
Your eyes and mine connect. The juices
Glitter with memories, and my love,
My flesh my blood.


Details | Free verse | |

Orphaned

Paint a picture in 10 words exactly.


Destitute 
Derelict
Despondent
Huddled wrapped
Cornered, wind abates
Infant slumbers


Details | Lyric | |

Over The Edge

Everyone has a breaking point.
Most of us never reach that place.
Some see it daily.
A trifle thing said or done,
trips a wire.

Are their brains wired differently?
Is there something missing?
What makes them want to 
approach the end so quickly?

Most do it slowly,
an inch at a time,
a hit there, and ounce there.
Their souls leak, drop by drop,
ever so slowly,
until a wasted frame is all you see.

Others do it in a flash, all at once.
Their lives cut short
ended abruptly, by their own hand.

How can they see the world so differently?
A place they no longer wish to dwell?
Trades for a cold dark hole
and to be fodder for the worms.

This I'll never understand.
The difference between them and me.l


Details | Free verse | |

A beautiful hell

Tears full of sorrow flowing freely from
the gate way of the soul, purging
the evils of a tragic pain.

Memories of a past with hopes of a
land filled with piercing rays
of sunshine, soft touches of grass
so green, consumed with the seductive
smell of delicate flowers.

Lies in the present, with a day dedicated
to skies of darkness, and a
morbid vision of a world without Life.

Missing the fallen loved ones that only
exist somewhere buried within the
depths of the mind, is the source from
which these powerful tears were born.

Love in a twisted beautiful hell that hurts so good
in a life were my existence is bitter sweet.

Why do I believe in a hell so beautiful
where no one can here me yell?


Details | Free verse | |

Battle Within

Four walls, eight corners, ceiling, 
floor, there’s me and no 
door.

Alone and ensnared within my own conundrum 
of a prison, my labyrinth of my own 
insanity.

Apprehensive and daunted with no direction I scour the 
walls for an exit to my puzzle of this mental  
enslavement.

Help on the outside at reach 
but too far to hear my
cries.

My demons pursue me within these walls without mercy,
bearing down on me relentlessly, raping me 
of my very being.

Evil at hand, easy it is to unite and associate with its 
enticing treats that seduce and tempt me to run to the allure of evil’s friendly and 
welcoming 
face.

Where do I run?
Where do I hide?
Where is my saving grace?

Please God help give me the strength for me to embrace.



Details | Monorhyme | |

The Swinger

gotta get out of this place
to many now know my face
dressed from head to toe in my leather and lace
trying hard to run at a fast and steady pace
I just know I just gotta get out of this place

the booze the men all getting on my case
music's blare all such a disgrace
want the world to just go away at a faster pace
leave me here to die with such a sad looking grin on face
knowing I  have to just gotta get out of this place

money in the jar for just in case
daughter's picture surrounded by flower vase
I don't care if I been maced
another day I walk in disgrace
just knowing I just gotta get out of this place

around the bend she hit second base
a safe haven without a trace
of this gal and her leather and lace
dancing and hitting the clubs of distaste
for she finally made it out of this place







Tribute To Those
Getting Out Of The
Dancing In Clubs


Details | Rhyme royal | |

FAITH BEARER

Faith bearer roam in every unknown path
of the deep valleys and the lush mountains,
to gaze at the quite, rosecolored sunset 
when winds carry you over lily' fields;
how inspiring is the hymn of archangels
descending to earth to impart real peace,
at a time of hate when sinners need grace!



Faith bearer comfort all who are silenced
by treat...breathing a stale air without life,
unable to liberate their fraught kindred;
could anyone who hurts put hatred aside,
pray for forgiveness and swallow their pride?     
Living in a free Nation that trusts in God...
is a blessing worthier than precious gold!       
  


Faith bearer you only live for this quest,
to turn ugliness into enduring beauty,
to show no fear in fighting a tempest;
sunflowers grow so tall and sway gently... 
you grow in your wisdom and modesty,    
pitying the ones who don't reject sorrow,
don't break free from misery and follow... 


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Rhyme | |

Mirror, Mirror

Her life it seemed,
she had 
just dreamed.
Awake, 
and yet,
did she forget?
Important facts,
you can't go back.
Important rules,
Oh what a fool.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.
Who'd be there to catch her fall.
Not her family, not her friends.
Could put her back together again.

How safe she felt,
inside his arms.
Away from all
possible harm.
The man was hers.
But then he's gone.
She'd stay,
she thought.
She'd soon
be wrong.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.
Who'd be there to catch her fall.
Not her family, not her friends.
Could put her back together again.

She was happy.
She was fine.
He came.
The dined.
They kissed.
They danced.
They made
romance.
He left.
She cried.
Her soul,
it died.
She tested,
she paid.
She was 23,
with AIDS.

Mirror, mirror on the wall. 
Who'd be there to catch her fall.
Not her family, not her friends.
Could put her back together again.


Details | Bio | |

Makin' It Through

Making it through another day,
Not always so easy...
When insomnia has turned your bed
into a mocking instrument of torture...
And another 6 day awake cycle starts...
When your body decides it's "pay-back time"
for years of abuse...
When you're so spirit worn by loneliness,
you feel you can not stand another minute alone...
When the only thing with meaning is now the past....
When the ringer on your phone has forgotten how to ring...
When dreams start to become fearful experiences...
Where there is no family anymore...
And another Thanksgiving with a Swanson HungryMan Turkey Dinner
is what to expect...
When you're immobilized, with no car and no body that can walk
more than a few yards without medical support.
When everytime you lend someone something, they take it as a gift,
and they no longer take your calls...
When you're so worn down with depression, you don't bother to call anyone 
anymore...
When you envy the married regardless of their marriage's value.
When you've said your last word, and nobody heard.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

I Wish I Had Listened

I wish I had listened
About my drinking and driving,
Now my best friend is dead
Because I drove without caring or thinking.

I wish I had listened
About drugs and all the kinds,
For now my brain is damaged
I can no longer control my mind.

I wish I had listened
As my parents each night prays,
That I not have unprotected sex
It is to late for now I have aids.

To late I did not listen
For now I have less time to live,
To late because now I am pregnant    
To the innocent child aids I will give.

We are young and think we know it all
We ignore the dangers lurking out there,
We ignore the advice of our parents
We retaliate and just don't care.

Now we pay the prices for not listening
Now we pay with every agonizing breath,
Even though we are still young
Our bodies are worn and nearing death.

We try to blame God for what we have become
Though we know it was by satan that we were deceived,
God tried so hard to teach us right from wrong
Though it was satan to whom we believed.


Details | I do not know? | |

Thanks to the Lord

When things go wrong,
as they usually do.
There is only one,
who will see you through.
Ask the Lord,
and you will see.
He’s always there,
for you and me.
You say you need,
a brand new start.
Then ask the Lord,
into your heart.
There is one thing, 
he will never do.
That’s turn his back,
on me or you.
He is always there,
through it all.
He will catch you,
when you fall.
My life was ugly,
and full of sin.
Without the Lord,
I couldn’t win.
I was dead,
and full of pain.
Now the blessings, 
come down like rain.
Now I’m alive, 
and full of life.
My life is empty,
of all the strife.
I was blind,
and couldn’t see.
The pain I felt,
was because of me.
The way I lived,
my future was dim.
Now it’s bright,
because of him.
My sins are forgiven,
that I know.
Because the Lord,
tells me so.
He speaks to my heart,
so no-one can hear.
His perfect Love,
forever pulls me near.
Eternal life,
I have been given.
“Thanks to the Lord”,
Life is worth living.


Details | I do not know? | |

Halls of the Blind

I can see what you cannot.
Vision milky and eyes rot.
When you turn they will be gone,
whispering the words to their hidden song.
Then you see what cannot be,
shadows move where light should be.
Into darkness, out of mind.
Cast down into the Halls of the Blind.


Details | Quatrain | |

DEVASTED BY THE DEATH OF THEIR YOUNGEST

All parents are devastated
by the death of their youngest;
did strange behavior or premonition
pique their curiosity at all?



They got out of hand at the neighbor's party too wild and intense,
and without supervision, they binged and laughed hysterically;
blasting music, making obscene gestures, dancing madly and cursing loudly,
and they felt too powerful with those drinks in their irresponsible hands!   



Actions aren't justified when they are premeditated so perfectly,
killers make plans to murder someone, then claim insanity;
kids tell their parent lies to do things that are harmful and shameful,
down the road across Lisa's house, four kids barely seventeen drove into a light pole!



Their blood is still there, and thousands of flowers can't cover those stains,
unconsolable mothers kneel by their angels' beautiful pictures;
friends sob and hold back their tears, fearing they would be next!
Why trust kids fully, when a cautious word can definetly put some sense into them?



All parents are devastated by the death and tormented by the demise of their youngest:
when agony rips apart their wailing chest for not having done enough;
and to carry that guilt inside is a costly price: to have seen a young life wasted and lost!
Let's learn from these tragedies, and do more to prevent more fatalities!


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Free verse | |

Frustration level boiling point

Frustration level
Boiling point
Rather an understatement today
For each time I've sat
To write new works
My laptop does not play

On ten minutes
Off the next
My blood it starts to boil
I'm rather patient normally
But today it takes it's toil

Curser locks 
And I can't get 
to type another thing
Then adding insult further more
It turns self off 
Just to ignore

Sore comment passed
As through teeth I grimace
And five hours on
I still try with it
To system restore 
Love back in it!


Details | Free verse | |

Each Day

Each day...

the earth shakes
and the
ground trembles.

I lose my
footing 
and 
fall, watching 
as the world 
surrounding me 
spins
and 
melts 
together.

Panic ensues
around me.
The sad sky
turns dark.

Crumpled
in a 
heap 

I
seize.


Details | Free verse | |

diagnosis

it's been ages since my last hit
i need a good fix
i know i have to take another the next day
it will make me feel good
eventually
smiles for everyone 
mr. pharmacy dude
i wanna be in balance with the world
the wooze is definitely not welcomed
but the happy pills are
:)


Details | I do not know? | |

Marked Commitments

He was committed
to his job 
all hours of the day

He was committed
to his wife,
to cherish and obey

He was committed
to his loved ones,
there in every way

He was committed
to his family –
they all came first for him

He was committed
to the whole world,
from last to next of kin

He was committed
to being of service,
through thick and also thin

And then

He was committed


Details | Bio | |

The Young Man

Centuries, maybe eons ago
A baby was born into the kingdom's ego
Hands rose to greet the young one with a cheer
As his smile quickened to appear
Welcoming him with warm tenders from all
Greeting him with blessed souls

Now a days the baby's a young man
With daughter and sons holding hands 
Singing so gracefully and cheerfully
With the wind of freedom looking so peacefully
His wife is so beautiful and wise
For she is his light through twisted cries
She's always there beside him
She's his lantern awaiting to vanish the dim

But, a few days ago, the young man got injured
Resulting in a deep wound deep inside
Fright is that he might die
Whilst his kids and wife fight by his side
Yet, his wound bleeds so severely 
With minutes he might pass away
Leaving his kids and wife stranded 
On a lonely night's moonlight

The cure is being mixed 
With hands so blessed
With hope as a main recipe used 
To heal the pain of the wound

I know the young man so well and feel so sad for the loss of his strength
Yet, I shan't mention his name, 
He's from the same country I come from;
From the same white, red, and green
But please do regain your strength...


Details | I do not know? | |

Transparent Friend

How can that happen?
How can one person think that?
She used to be just like me,
And even then she was skinnier
But she is the one in the hospital
She used to eat her food
Without a second thought
We used to laugh about
Stuff like that, and how
We would never stop eating
I guess we just never realized
How big of a problem it was
But then it happened to her
I didn't notice right away
That everyday after lunch
She would secretly slip away
Into the girls bathroom
But one day I caught her
She made me promise not to tell
But how could I not?
I couldn't honor my promise
When it meant saving her life
I told a teacher, not sure
That telling her parents myself
Was the smartest thing
When they took her to the hospital
She knew it was me
I went to visit her everyday
She didn't talk to me
For a long time
I would just sit in there 
And watch her play with her food
Only ever eating a bite or two
How could this be her?
That girl I used to spend
Every minute with
This couldn't be
This girl was a stranger
Her skin so white
It seemed transparent
Her bones sticking out
Face looking sunken
I couldn't believe it,
But I never gave up on her
I came everyday
I would eat in front of her
And eventually she began to eat too
A bite more each day
It was slow, but a start...
Now she is back in school
She eats her lunch slowly
But still eats every bite
Her face has came back a bit
The slightest bit of cherry red cheeks
I have to stay with her 
Whenever she goes to the bathroom
To make sure she doesn't puke
It's a gross job
It's taken a long time
But finally I have my friend back
And I will never let her slip away
Again...










This isn't about me, or anyone I know, but please pray for those people, who can't seem to get it in their 
heads that they aren't fat.  It's not just about not eating, it's a mental disorder, and it might not seem like 
something to happen, but it's more real, then many think...


Details | Elegy | |

The Letter "C"

You came into my life unexpected.
I don’t enjoy your company.
I never asked for you in the first place. 
You have bought me nothing but sadness since the day you arrived.
I cry every night because of you. 
Why did you pick me out of everyone else?
I can’t stand the way you make me feel sick and nauseated.  
It’s like you knock the wind out of me. 
Now I’m trying to get back up and I will because I’m strong, powerful, and I 
believe in myself. 
You’re just a word that starts with the letter “C” and when you say it out loud its 
cancer. 
I want run away from you I’ll fight you until the end.


Details | I do not know? | |

Dont Let This Fool You

When my eye first connected to you 
i knew i was getting something true
i walked away with a switch in my hip to impress you 
i knew from the jump start you wanted me to be your baby boo

dont let this fool you 
im thinking that boy is fine 
but they are the one to waste your time
when he walked up to me to spit game
when it was my turn to talk my voice was not the same 

dont let this fool you 
this me boy you know you looking good
he said you know i have to stay jiggy through the hood
he looked at me up and down like dang shawty
im like what 
he said who spring that body
stop playing Jamal ohh yeah that was his name 
i said i really like you with no shame 

dont let this fool you
he said i know girl
when me and you really get together your going to be my world
what Jamal had just told me was the key to my heart 
i thought to myself Jamal and i aint never splitting apart
about 4 in a half years later in life 
i was soon to be Jamals wife

remember this Jamal and i had 2 kids and 1 on the way
this is the point where i find out something is wrong with Jamal
Jamal and I went to take our kids on a walk
Jamal fell when he started to talk
i took him to the doctor to find out what went wrong
as i waited in the waitng room i started to sing a love song
when the doctor came to tell me what went wrong
she told me something that i didnt want to hear at all
it wasnt five seconds yet before i started to cry a sea 
the doctor exzact words was Jamal Dustin Wright has HIV


Details | Rhyme | |

Extreme Sacrifice

Tears fall from a round cherub face
Who feels her life is a big disgrace
Who feels she is just a charity case
Who takes up way too much space
Who knocked over the hand painted vase
From Italy
Because she thought she was too obese
An ugly savage beast
And wanted her life to cease
Because people liked to tease
About her wanting the last piece
Of pizza

So she decided right there and then
No more crash diets or Phen-Fen
No more envying her friends
No more rejections from men
No more carrot sticks again
She's starving
Because she hates the way she looks
And having to buy all those books
Those diet gurus are crooks
Playing on her emotions is the hook
That reeled her in from her little nook
She's miserable

All 125 pounds of her was crying out
For a way to escape right out
From dejection and self doubt
She just wanted to scream and shout
She saw only one solution as a route
Plastic surgery
Because it was the only way
To want to live another day
Without having to hope and pray
That she would not become afraid
And slit her wrists with a razor blade
Psychotherapy

So a doctor she took herself to
And guess what that quack wanted to do
Rhinoplasty her nose into
One like little Cindy Lou Who
Said he’d make it like brand new
She bought it
Because her nose was to be done
Next was her chin—it looked like a Cinnabon
No wonder she was being shunned
He said he’d spare her the dejection
and give her a neck like an elegant swan
She believed it

Next was her breasts—they needed a lift
The size does matter if you catch my drift
Your popularity will benefit
From putting some silicone in your tit
Its quite exciting, you’ll have to admit
She oohed
Because her abs and butt were a terrible blight 
To leave them like that it would not look right
They needed to look taut and tight
What a plight!
Liposuction would be a wonderful sight
She aahed

Surgery was schedule for tomorrow at dawn
She didn’t see how she could do any wrong
She went shopping and bought a new thong
Her depression was gone
She felt twice as strong
Is she delusional?
The surgery happened right on time
Where’s the police-isn’t this a crime
This girl looks absolutely fine
What is flawed is just her mind
Society has not been kind
Is she to blame?


Details | I do not know? | |

My Aching Belly

Just a day before this dotting
I woke up anew, fagged
Unto the toilet I beckoned
One, two, three, four,  . . .times
Flaccidity   ran all over me
I could not stand nor sit down 
On my Mama’s   footstool
For I was foot-billing a  stool

Chewing and gassing out odour
Liken to   that of nothing
But  a dead vulture in a Hades
My eyeballs ran backward
Deep inside my ringing Golgotha 
I assume a skeletal posture
Whose weight is zero square
My path and bearing
Became that of   Mr. Air

My belly heavy and aching
Appetite disappears off me
Foods became my brief foe
I groin only in pains of constipation
It confined me to fasting  without prayers
Only feasting on fart till nine by darkness
I kowtow to the rhythm of
Fuddy-duddy  Fandango in my tummy
I was in an unnamed planet

Does belly ache kills? Many wondered
I woke up unto hunger monger
But I was scared again to conquer hunger
For here leads my maw cupidity
I would have cross to the yonder beyond
Learning not to chew beyond my belly.



Alayande Stephen Tolulope
4th, November, 2005
11.00am


Details | Rhyme | |

Life's Up's And Downs

life sure has it's 
up's and downs

but this is no reason 
to wear such a sad 
looking frown

for the sun still rises 
escapading her crown

as the wind silently whistles 
to a flutal sound

birds and butterflies flutter 
amidst grassy carpet mounds

children's laughter how profound
little toes buried in sands ground

aqua velvet splashguarding abound
rockbeds and lighthouses I found

so family and friends 
let's gather around 

and go out and even 
hit some new found towns

for life may seem to have 
it's up's and downs but

refuse to wear a 
such sad looking frown

for if not for our savoir
blessing this earth's ground

there would be nothing left but peeps
and wispered uttered sounds



Go Out And Enjoy Life
And Nature Too

Listen To The Whispers Of The Wind


Details | I do not know? | |

Life in the Crapper

I hide my shame where no one can see.
And know that they could not understand me.

I wear my guilt behind closed doors.
And hope they will never find me.

I purge the torment out of my mind.
And pray that that's what will help free me.

Look in the mirror, I see myself.
But the image there only cheats me.

I try to cleanse myself of these thoughts.
But somehow it always defeats me.

So, it's back to the crapper Joe goes!
The only place I know to relieve me.


Details | Sonnet | |

Sonnet #1: Why Do I Love Her?

Why do I love her? I can’t count on toes
And fingers like how Browning could not bear.
Nothing but Trouble- she seems not to care
About my Fatigue, my friends, or my foes.
Anxiety lurks- I shake when she goes.
Nervousness lingers- blankly not I stare.
She’s not here, she’s not nice; Life is not Fair!
Why do I love her from feet above nose?
Why? The answer scurries across the mind!
Pen I the insight: You’re beautiful; I
Love you is unsuitable. And those eyes!
Time, Space has seen none worthier than thy!
-Subfusc. Memories always can I find.
Cerebrum sees no snow; Heart holds all ties.


Details | Free verse | |

Carefree reminiscence

I remember I saw her
a sturdy grey haired 
eighty something woman
with pin point pupils
and vacant looking
coldest grey - blue eyes.
She appeared lost
and yet some fragment of sanity
rendered within.
She waddled purposely
stick in hand across the road,
to the bench next to the bus stop.
Conversing and nodding
on her approach
but there's no-one there.
I got to wondering 
if she were unhinged,
out of her mind crazy
what with hospital for such nearby.
Were she one with mental illness?
Was this a State negligence?
Maybe she was disturbed
with some cruel neurosis,
or then did she see beyond a veil
where I could not,
and be thinking 
similar thoughts of me?
Non-sensical but I recollect
how an ambulance pulled alongside.
Two got out in a hurry,
three slipped away.


Details | Blank verse | |

Years Ago

The old girl looked lost, standing there,
Puzzlement resonating on her leathered face,
As she gazed at the mouth of the pillar box.

The box, an iron sentry, all guardsman red,
A stoic erection, a passive recipient of mail,
Gave no ground, gave nothing away.

Beyond the iced glaze of her grey eyes,
Something sparked – scant and fleeting.
A fission trip of memories, in tumult.

Banshee voices howling doggerel phrases,
Mouthed and distant in the windswept canyons,
Barely heard, or heard only in snatches,
The receptors torn and ragged.

Why had she come here?
What should she do?
She would have known in the summer of
Years ago;
But in the winter of today
Silence and confusion, the cold splutter of atrophy,
Told her only of mystification.

I watched for a while and then approached.
I smiled at her and pointed at the white envelope
Clutched in her weathered right hand.
“Shall I post that for you, Gram?” I inquired.
“Who are you?” 
She said.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Mother, My Strength

I know her grief and her pain
I know the look in her eye
But her determination is her gain
And her attitude to strive is not shy

She walks with her head held high 
She makes it seem easy, not hard at all 
She is not wiling to give up and die
And she will get up after every fall

She has God on her side and hope in her heart
She has fought this for over ten years and ten more will be fought
She is my mom and she is courageous and smart
And she shows so much strength it gives me might


Details | Bio | |

Pop my bubbles of depression

These are thoughts i cant define.

Thoughts that scare even the depths of my mind.

Shallow days bring no joy.

Im scared to wake up i think too much.

In a time i once was happy filled with laughter i know me.

One day where am i but gone.


My body is in the mirror but who is that soul.

The only feeling i have are the wetness of the tips of my fingers tracing my tears.

I try to block out this person who came in.

But even what once made me happy is no longer my friend.

My friends are the thoughts that echo my head twisted little words wishing i were 
dead.

But in my heart i find whats left a family i love..for that death is not spoken of.

One bubble popped and i see some soul.

Of a person i once knew long ago.

i learn from this i just have to find whats left of me and take it and grow it like a 
vine.

Hard to break apart its path for it knows where it goes and pushes not slacks.

One day i was me the next day who is she.

Where does it hurt i ask its everywhere.

Can it be cured if only i care.

Pills can help says the ads dont want that to change you im scared say dads.

A professional person might do the trick but what if it doesnt and i still fell sick.

I do i pop my bubbles and the bubbles leak outta my skin and outta me.

I look in the mirror and i see someone i know. 

Its the bubbles i popped giving me back  my soul.


Details | Name | |

A Tradition

My Motive should be to live as a human.
My identity should be a man or woman.
I need to use my courage and activeness,
I need to win the heart of a Mrs and Miss.

My life has a limited period to live on Earth.
A distinction of colour and caste is on my birth.
When I know I can’t live without cooperation,
Then why I worship only to a tradition.


Details | Free verse | |

Don't lose our love

Father please stop yelling,
your voice booms all around.
We got so used to hearing it – 
we switch off to the sound.

Oh yes it’s true we hear you
but your voice is now a noise;
it’s not what you say – that we can hear,
just abusive, boystrous tones.

If you stop a while, take time to think -
And plan what you might say?
Maybe you’d talk instead of shout,
and then we’d respond and work things out.

But while your respond in dulcid tones,
whilst all we hear is put downs, moans.
While all you do is scream and yell,
you’ll push us away – so far until…

You’ll lose our love, and all respect,
we’ll grow up not knowing loving yet;
run to the first who shows interest,
repeat history, life of whole regret…

You’ll lose our love, so stop this now,
teach us to love , to talk things through.
We’re not so bad, you’ll see us now,
And as a unit we’ll learn to grow…and flourish…

Make you proud, you’ll see.
Make you understand your love of me,
Be still, be heard – in quiet reserve,
with dignity, respect, and glee…

be proud.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dumbstruck

I shall turn a blind eye
and hold my tongue
I'll sharpen my hearing,
breathe deep in my lungs.

My stare will be flat
like the eyes of a shark
and you'll feel a chill,
both icy and dark.

I'll gather each word
like beads on a string,
a necklace of nouns
and verbs in a ring.

I'll keep my face blank,
an inscrutible mask,
I will not speak,
no questions I'll ask.

You told me one time
you admired my strength,
but that's just my wall
of great thickness and length.

My wall does have cracks
and occasional chinks,
old mortar has crumbled,
stones fall and then sink.

Words are the weapons,
so carelessly thrown,
like heat seeking missiles
they cut to the bone.

Life is a river,
a fast moving creek,
it tosses and tumbles
all those that are weak.

Now I am a stone,
a smooth river rock,
your words like the water
are given no thought.

As the waters rush by,
the stones do not care,
nor does the water
know that they're there.


Details | Free verse | |

A Quiet

The sky is blue and clear today, the air is warm, crisp
I can smell the morning light burning off the waters
Feel its glimmering dance in those waves 
Over my skin, my face aglow under tears long dried

The morning doves are out lamenting happy songs of life
I can hear their warmth of lightness washing through the air
Feel their words cascading across my shoulders like rain
Over my body, my hair swaying unkempt in the breeze

The sun gleams through the trees now, in the quiet, in the still
I can see its breath filtered through the leaves
Feel the rings of light wafting along and through my path
Over my bare feet, my hands empty now as if they always were

The leaves are vibrant, bright this morning, alive and cool
I can taste their sweet life growing inside their breath in my grasp
Feel their sense of tomorrow beating in their gasping sighs 
Over my face across these tears dried inside my eyes


Details | Quatrain | |

Jonji and the Mountain

Chipping at the slate heart
carving colors pure
Underneath your hard despair
one thing is for sure
You are built on mountains
You are set in streams
You possess the grandeur
of a million triumph dreams
Snapping back your heart strings
cold and frozen stiff
Underneath your marble polish
you still glow within this gift
You are precious to me
You are whole and sound
You denote the pinacle
of breaking solid ground
Wincing at the truth dance
carved and chipped so pure
I find you climbing up from pain
a mountain you've endured.


Details | Rhyme | |

Sundown Syndrome

Sundown syndrome
Who are you?
Looking blank
while looking through
all my past 
and troubles too
needing sullen sleep
You were steel
to stand up straight
and now I merely
supplicate
and pray to see
your eyes again
sparkling with awareness.


Details | Couplet | |

Losing Alzheimers

It's this feeling I carry in the back of my soul
always feeling it there though I don't often show
that your voice is my voice and I long for your eyes
to light up, set to twinkle, unburden my skies
I miss you as someone to never be missed
I miss you like words on unlistable lists
Too grand to call mountains, too young too call old
I miss you like summer to winter's unfold
It's this feeling I carry, kaleidoscope see
I carry you with me.  Do you carry me?
Through eyes with no twinkle and tongues with no words
do you hear me still? or has silence occurred?
I know you as someone I'll just always know
I know you regardless of words spoken, so
in this sad revelation I offer you still
that I feel you now with me and I always will.


Details | Free verse | |

The Switch

Feeling euphoric
Jubilant, carefree
But, I am coming down
Remembering how it feels
And I hate it
Depression sinking in
Like the Titanic
Switching again
On top of the world again
Acting wild
Not a care in the world
Gambling with my life
Like a cat with nine lives
Switching again
Tears fall
Melancholoy outlook
Feel like closing the book for good
Switching again
Never stable
Switching again
No stability
Switching again
Welcome to my life


Details | I do not know? | |

Insomnia

I can't breathe
I can't sleep
Night winds blow
Nightmares creep
Looking into shadows
Searching for light
Morning far away
Far out of sight
Stuck in the solitude
Created by me
Imprisoned here
Where once I was free
Will this night ever end?
Will the sun shine again
I haven't felt so alone
Since only God knows when


Details | I do not know? | |

Helpless Hands

For one who helps so many,
giving aid and relief,
to watch a loved one in need,
strains me to the core.

To be sidelined,
no longer an accessory,
reduced to normalcy,
rips out my soul,
one thread at a time.

To watch as you wither,
unable to combat this enemy,
that strikes young and old,
makes me feel impotent.

Unable to kill this hydra,
I silently watch
as you wilt away.


Details | Verse | |

Peace of Perfection

Quiet, in her eyes and on her skin
unzipped and stepped out of the pain she's been in
Sold all her dreams for a moment at sea
and burned all her memory incense
Roses and trees of pecans scent the air
she visits in dreams, as though she was there
She tells me she loves me then floats higher still
I catch all my tears in my palm
Whispers of long burnt out brilliance rain down
on my shoulders, she settles without even a sound
Her pain is a mist on it's last tidal wave
My eyes fill up blue with the sea.


Details | Bio | |

I'm On My Way Out

You've felt this feeling?
You got what I got?
My body's been reeling
But I just can't stop
The need is worsening
I don't know what to do
My body is rebelling
And I'm starting to rue
The day I started this drug
My life's been cut short
My graves been dug
I'm sailing from this port
My end is near now
I'll say my goodbyes
It'll end soon now
Another casualty dies


Details | Blank verse | |

Tearful Praise

The woman said, “If you let my mother die, I will ruin your career” to the doctor 
who wouldn’t give her mother heart surgery because she had no insurance.

And she thought about her own brain tumor, would the prayer style that the man 
gave her work?
She didn’t know.

She considered how her current situation may sound sensational to some, but 
that it was real nonetheless.
And she looked back over her life and the pain of its memory.

And she resolved to take the Lunesta on her dresser and end it early.
But as she stepped toward her dresser, she heard a voice say, “Stop, I will make 
things better.”
And she stopped.

And she looked up to her ceiling and felt a chill.
She began to praise the Lord, and as she praised, tears welled up in her eyes.
And she imagined them washing away the suffering of her world.

And she cried to the Lord, “Lord Jesus, I know you won’t leave us down here like 
this.  I believe in you. I know you’ll come up with something.  My whole life is 
yours and you’ll come through with something!!!”
Amen.


Details | I do not know? | |

zarrah

Innocence made her beautiful
Strength came from within
A struggle in the beginning
Now her light's less dim
Moving forward, inch by inch
Cute as could be
Stubborn, strong, a will to live
An angel from within
My hope, love, inspiration
Zarrah


Details | I do not know? | |

LIES

Lies,lies
there they remain
fulfilling the ear
giving you pain
saying he loves you
lies of flame
u dont realize
it's nothing but a game
wake up baby girl
he so lame 
yall went on a date 
and he dont remember your name
saying you the 1st girl he been with
feeding you lies on the love train
stringing you alone taking your heart for
a ride
and all he have is 3 letters
pinned for his name


Details | Free verse | |

Age Old Nemesis.

Each moment of Now dissolving
Into the murkiness of yesterday eyes
Perched upon the epochs pinnacle
Vision thickening passes times shadow
Beckoning out in desperate timbre
“Hold!! You forgot me…”

Eyes lamented in sorrowed rapture
Alphabetized memories recalled
So alive themselves I hear their pulsing
Rhythmic upon calloused palms I hold
Almost warming within hollowed pupils
“I am still the same man…”

Nemesis steals closer bawling my name
Ravaging my essence of early life’s vigor
Weighting my shoulders with Atlas’ burden
Slashing my face with a gray bloodied dagger
The looking glass reflecting all that I am…
“What have you done to me…?” 

Hushing winds…

Time laughs onward


Details | Rhyme | |

Bulimarexia

Appetite appeasing her
emotions emanating in a tear
as food follows forcing fingers
to regurgitate great gobs of fear,
freeing for a moment more,
liberating lies lying so deep within here
now, plunged passed pipes
drowned deep in
the flushed future of guarded grazing.


Details | I do not know? | |

Goodbye Depression 4-21-05

I’m saying goodbye to my depression forever
It’s been eating me up inside
Making me break down and cry
Making me run and hide from everyone
But the crying and the hiding is going to stop.
I’m getting help by
Going to a counseling service
To get all the sadness and hurt out of me
Goodbye depression, I don’t need you anymore
Goodbye depression, Don’t come back knocking at my door
Goodbye depression, You’ll never ruin my life again
Goodbye depression, No more voices in my head.
I have been sick of seeing myself down
I’m going to fight this battle for once and for all.
Talking to my therapist
Is going to make me better.
No more bottling it up inside
No more break downs
This depression will end
But it will take a few counseling sessions
Until I’m one hundred percent better.
People I know will be proud of me
I will proud of myself
Once it’s all gone.
Going to counseling
Is the best thing
For me.


Details | Lyric | |

Gods' Children

            
I saw a man they called a freak.
   All because he could not speak.
I knew a man who could not hear.
   People laughed and called him queer.
I knew a man who had one arm.
   He posed no threat, would do no harm.
I knew a man they called him slow.
   Simply because his brain it would not grow.
If you were given a choice today.
   One in which you had to play.
And your choices were pick one above.
   And know what it’s like to not no love.
Which one I wonder would you choose.
   For which ever you pick you’ll surely loose.
Do you think your attitude might change.
   If by chance your lives you must exchange.
So think about their feelings before you point and laugh.
   You represent God, so show mercy and kindness on His behalf.


Details | Free verse | |

My Mother's Hair

I was once so fond
Of the gray-streaked
Locks cascading
Down her frail back,
Growing so long
In her dying days.

I visited her every day
In the hospital.
The sterile background,
White linen,
And dingy food tray,
Dietary supplements
And nurses’ reminders.

After school,
I braided her hair,
Fingertips brushing
Scalp, climbing up
And down the rope,
Fashioning frizzed
Ends into plaits.

Its soft thickness
Caressing my cheek,
Smelling of flowers
And sweet oils
As she uttered
"I love you"
For the last time.



Details | I do not know? | |

cleansing THE UGLY

When the darkness finally consumes the remnants of my mind
Oh the broken pieces
They struck the floor this morning at dusk
Cutting my toes
Leaving butter and blood to intermingle
Like cutting away at human flesh
To match this unreachable goal 

Of societies defined beautiful people protocol
Cast it 
It is because of this

the last tear rolls down this deadened cheek
overwrought with no outlet for my own expression
 numbed to nothingness
I do not feel the tear which
runs down the length of my silent body onto the floor
My heart, My lungs. Covered in your 
superficial dust
Seeping through the crooks and cranny
Launder my wrinkled brow
Polish the dirtied regions of my soul
To become unsoiled
Cleanse me from my sins
Make me right
To the godforsaken cruel reddened world
Oh virtuous grace, I can never be
Exactly right now can I

To be like sparkling jewels
Like the crystals hanging from my window
Iridescently dappled
Flecking the floor with pure light
Until they too
 Fall
Continuing this desire to meet it in the end
WE ALL FALL

Almost like a faerie princess
I glimmer
Oh my eyes
How lifelessly they shimmer
Tear apart my ribs
‘for
For a smaller waist
Bitterly 
My heart harbors a deep sorrow
I wear the blackest pearls
Locked away in my room
Bandaged, Hidden, Monster-like
Hard to breathe
Just
Few more weeks
And
The splendor of plastic
Will pretty much
Pretty the ugliest molecule in me.
Or what is left
In this empty vessel
I have drowned
In my own tendencies to be shallow


Details | Free verse | |

Wounded by evil

You come to me, - wounded.
Pain shows within those darkened eyes,
that natural fire for life dampened.
I reach to you,
crane my neck to whisper -
sweet serenities unto your ear.

I gently soothe your skin,
listening, I take on board all you say.
I do not judge for I am not -
the mighty one! 
The one who comes in strength and power in spirit.
I am friend of conscience -  

No I am quieter, 
the essence of soul within.
I'm a friend that stands strong 
with your inner being;
that knows the real you
and how resolute you can be.

I am one who knows you can conquer
even the highest of mountains;
for not all people are the same.
Then how much more shall you be blessed
as you walk with strength, in light knowing 
how much more love and kindness can defy all evils.


Details | I do not know? | |

Better

this does not happen to us
not happen to people I love
and I love you so much that when u hurt I hurt even more
so get better so we can get back to where we were before.

I want to hold u
my arms become magical and take away your pain
when you sleep I'll kiss your forehead
and I'll just make you better again.

I don't believe in miricales
but if it helps then I do
you have to get better
'cause I could not bear life without you.


Details | Blank verse | |

Suicide Jockey

It's a good day to die - aren't they all? 
  planted this evil seed; 
scrawled the note on a Get Well Soon greeting; 
  ink or blood? 
Doesn't matter, suppose it 
  should...really. 

One magpie is all that's 
  ever been seen; 
years wasted scoping 
  barren terrain 
for one more for joy. 
  For a sign of hope...humanity 

Only bad omens beat 
  lonely wings; 
it's cold, man, cold 
  and really old really quick. 
No more dreams of cabbages 
  and kings and...tender things. 

No afterlife, please, 
  no backwater channel resurrection re-run; 
no off-peak reincarnated repeat 
  of what has gone before. 
Once was enough; 
  how could that hell be endured...anymore?


Details | Lyric | |

Happy Birthday

I’m locked inside my room away from the world. Closed within my shell, to 
enclose me in my Hell. And my mother wants to know if I need some pills as my 
feeling kills, the good part that’s inside of me. I’m trying not to think about all the 
bad things that are happening to me. I’m trying to make myself see the good 
things in the bad things that are surrounding me. The light is going out. The sky 
is growing dark. The days are growing cold. The nights are growing old. These 
feelings just keep embedding themselves in me. My family’s getting worried 
while my death is being hurried as I will myself to never let another in. I’m sitting 
in the corner so that you cannot see me, it’s the only way I can feel free. The only 
way to find some ease within my breathing. I’m just avoiding accepting this 
reality, that everything is fallacy. There is only an illusion, how everything is a 
delusion of what it appears to be. There’s a shower of my fears. A storm of what I 
don’t know. How does the story go? The loser still loses in the end. I’m stressing 
over confessing what I really feel and think. I am slowly sinking into the 
depression that is creeping up deep inside of me. There’s a feeling I can’t 
shake. Thoughts that I can’t take. A decision that I can’t make for the sake of 
being happy. I’m abandoned and alone. Running away from home inside, with 
no real reasons why, since the world that surrounds me is the reason that I cry.


Details | I do not know? | |

Daddy

My eyes hold the saddest look
my heart holds all my pain and the lies
i hide myself from you
so no one will know the truth
how much i feel inside
i love you soo much
i know you love me too
your slowly killing yourself
skipping dialysis all the time
cant you see what it's doing to me
how its affecting you?
so keep threatenging to leave
all ur doing is hurting me
so ill keep crying
ill keep acting happy
ill smile for you
and cry for me
to keep myself sane
i cant look at myself anymore
cuz i know im not that same lil girl i used to be
i've grown up buh not to the girl i thought i would be
i've grown up but im the girl who cries when no one looks
im the girl who you once knew,
im your daughter
im scared for you daddy


Details | I do not know? | |

The Sound of Pain

I wake to the sound of a women with pain.

Her chest hurts and beats like the pouring rain.

Her mind drifts off as she hollars and moans.

What you hear sounds like your own.

The pain within and out you.

Makin you twist and turn not knowin wat to do.

As they lower her body in the chair.

Her shouts and yells fill the air.

Not knowin wat to do next I pray to God awaken him from his rest.

As I stand by and watch my step dad.

The look on his face was blank like I had.

Not knowin wat happen while we rested.

I pray to God for her blessin is wat I did.

Hoping she will be ok.

Wishin that God will keep her safe in a special way.

Not being able to go back to sleep I write.

Reflecting on the colors I saw as I woke green and white.

My heart cries for her and dad's too.

I pray blessings on her thats wat I do.

Lifting her body in the truck.

I only wish I were awake to help her damn my luck.

The pain gets worse and worse.

As she cries jus grippin her purse.

Away she goes off in their care.

All I can do is stand side by side my dad and stare.

It's over done there's nothing we can do.

Shes in their care and God's too.

I stare into the distance as they pull away.

All I can do is wait and pray for a brighter today.

God shes in your hands.

Take her, love her, cure her I know you can.

As I sit here and write.

I pray to God once again hoping shes alright.


Details | I do not know? | |

Cry for HELP!

I can’t believe how much I’ve changed.
The pounds I’ve lost in large range.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
Happiness was the only thing I thought I missed.

Looking in the mirror,
What do I see?
I see someone else that doesn’t look like me.
That’s just the way I wanted to be.
To have a new body and face.
To disappear without a trace.
It’s to late,
I can’t stop for the love of grace.

Skipping meals,
Tarring me apart,
It doesn’t compare to what I pay with my heart.
If I die,
I’ll die trying to fit the image I’m needing to be.
Will someone please set me free?

No one knows the damage I’ve done.
Deterioration has already begun.
Purging blood and popping pills.
To fill this void I yern to fill.
This is what its like to lose control,
But it seem I’ve taken a toll.
I don’t want to lose my sole.

No one would understand the problem.
I hold my hands.
No one understands this obsession.
I grieve.
Wanting to be pretty,
Wanting to be perfect,
That’s how it started with me.
Now I can’t break free.

So many times I’ve reached out,
But people turned away filled with doubt.
Living a lie,
Being miss right
Was just a discise.
I’ve given up the fight.
All I wanted was to be loved,
With this finger in my throat I’ve shoved.
I use to be strong,
But now I’m weak.
God help me,
Going back is all I seek.


Details | Free verse | |

MUTE

I am mute.
I never speak.
To other people's voices I kneel
I've never been very happy
holding everything in
It's ironic because the one
day I actually made noise
It was right before I hung myself
I screamed.
Finally people could hear
Finally people could see
But it was a late sentiment
Because I could no longer breath


Details | I do not know? | |

That's What I Thought

With these drugs I can get on my feet
That's what I think
But they actually make me weak
With these drugs I will never fall
Because I feel like I'm ten feet tall
These drugs don't kill
Obviously because I'm still here
I can even fly up in the sky
That's what i think when I get high
All the dope, it doesn't make you insane
I think it just takes away all of my pain
That's what I think in my head
But it's too late now because I'm dead
With those drugs I was so nice
That's what i thought
I payed the price


Details | Free verse | |

we're not in Kansas anymore

Have you ever found your mind
drifting into that dark place
that secret and dense absence of light
look into the mirror and say
"There is beauty in destruction"
running your fingertips down your spine 
collarbone wrists hips ankles
only to feel numb
your heart imploding 
as the gravitational pull
plays tug-o-war 
with your passion
10 versus 1
your heartbeat slows
leaving behind a shell
the exquisite mask your sold your soul to construct
was it worth it
did all of your dreams come true
are you happy
pure 
untouched
perfect
no
just the 3rd degree burn of deception
fall to your knees 
beg for the last five years of your life back
thin chance
slim chance
anything but fat chance
click your heels 3 times
all that glitters is long gone
follow the yellow brick road back to your heart 
grab hold of yourself
time waits for no one 
not even you


Details | Free verse | |

FATE SPARES NO ONE

Fate spares no one
when it comes to inflict pain;
never being compassionate,
much less compliant...

Frequent supplications of pity,
don't appease this beast 
seeking victims to devour;
and the stricken` are taken captive
without  tears to shed,
having nothing to hope for...
but  they are all confined to agony,
cut off from anyone and anything!  

Fate spares no one a single hair...
wealth or poverty,
ugliness or beauty
are put on a balanced scale,
to impart  all their own share;
equality is frivolous and unfair!

Plagues are infected by ignorance,
or by a shocking lack of regard...
thus making all an endangered species;
medicine doesn't always find the cure,
patients retort and give in to vengeance...
that's when fate flings its sword:
to remind them that  it  is
as invincible as ever!      

Fate spares no one...not even I;
what life acclaims, fate disdains!
For endless ages it  ruled over many:
deceiving hearts, destroying lives;
very seldom it was powerless
to take control over the strong ones, 
who refused to see the face of a Goliath...
spreading terror through the earth!   


Details | Prose Poetry | |

An Open Letter to all my Poetry Soup Pals

This community should only control Congress, the sh_t would stop flyin, the 
politicos stop lyin'.....You guys are great...
To Wilfredo Derequito; thanks, buddy, you're right, I am too old- but I'm still one 
dam_ good rockin' musician!!  Besides, have you seen a recent picture of Mick 
Jagger?  I seen mummies that looked younger. And, I sympathize (along with the 
devil)...how you got to that 19th Nervous Breakdown....I mean, all those years of 
un-Derequito'd love, gotta take it's toll...ha,ha.  Best regards, buddy,....tom

and to Shar...you are so sweet a person, but I gotta admit I got back 100 times 
the love and satisfaction from my Dad...he even taught me to love music of the 
30's and 40's, and he often jammed with my band (harmonica- he was the best!!)
He was not only my father, but my best friend, my bar-buddy, my assistant cook,
and my confidant....( I am an excellent cook...)...he brought me more joy than I can 
relate....I was the lucky one.... which made losing him (a year long struggle that 
greatly tested my ability to "hang-in there")

and to Chrisy...hi sweetie, so glad to hear from you...God Bless

Later, dudes and dudettes......tom


Details | Rhyme | |

Edward

Why did you have to leave so soon,
You were my best friend.
Some nights we would howl at the moon,
On a drinking weekend.

We would camp,
We would hunt,
No matter how damp,
We were so defiant.

So much fun,
In such a short time,
Though we met,
Before I could climb.

Growing up with you,
Best thing anyone could do.
We would have our fights,
Then decide who was right,
But this didn’t really matter.
You were an anchor,
That no one could shatter.

Then the drinking,
Took control of you.
You were not thinking,
Of the things you do.
It was all that you wanted,
No food for you.

Now I dream of you often,
Last night,
We were making coffins. 
You drove the tractor,
I used an axe.
I was the chopper,
So you could relax.

Your body had gotten so frail,
Instead of your temple,
It was your jail.

Then came the day,
You just gave up,
No more play,
No more roundup.

It was your last day,
With those you loved,
What can I say,
You are now above.

My friend, my cousin, Edward.


Details | I do not know? | |

Falling

She's scared to move
She's falling again
Remembers the feeling
Oh the pain

It's all coming back
Maybe to stay
I don't want it to
I'm counting the days

I thought it was over
Guess I was wrong
And to think
Its been so long

All this time
Just thrown away
All I can do is
Pray for better day


Details | I do not know? | |

Depression (2005)

On a sunny day it feels dark and cold
Having mighty huge arms
But nothing to hold
No one understands and labels you 'mad'
One minute your happy 
And the next minute your sad
Be happy everyone keeps saying
Easier said then done 
You try but the demon keeps on outweighing
You can fall and be in total despair
Everything is grey and has no connection
You reach for help and it seems as no one cares
Its can happen to me and can happen to you
Mental health is just as important as physical health
Its just like catching a cold or flu


Be open minded and try to understand

poemsbyrb@hotmail.com


Details | Free verse | |

Bittersweet

Bites her lip and closes her eyes

holds in  poison and gasps for lack of words

The sunflowers on the window sill 

have wilted from the density of emotions

contained in one room

one room where she finds her peace

one room where she finds her demons

one room where  she lies awake

one room where she goes to rest

one room where she found herself

 and one room where she lost it all

she looks into the mirror  and says,

"it's a bittersweet life," and sighs 

as she's choked with irony

only one person has ever made 

these brown eyes turn blue

it's you.


Details | Free verse | |

Insomnia


5 AM

stretch, tuck your knees into your chest

on your back, on your stomach

on the floor, on the bed

bare skin against  icy sheets

i find no comfort

no saving grace 

as i dig my nails deep into the warn out mattress

let my body go limp

my wrist drops to wall

with a hollow sound 

and a bruise to bare witness

last night i reached  for help

and accidently knocked myself over

a piece of my soul slipped behind the dresser

i'll never find it buried in dust


Details | Narrative | |

HER DAY

In her day she dazzled the boys
and made many a girl jealous.
Fantasy was always reality
and love was the most important thing of all.
The sun always shone so bright
and the moon glowed all thru the nights.
Today she speaks with no reply given.
Her days are long and lonely,
and her nights are cold and sometimes wet
from an uncontrollable bladder 
that has caused her such grief for so long.
Hands that do not open up
and legs that will not staighten out.
Unable to reach for cover during a cold night
and unable to walk to the bathroom to relieve herself
and save the embarrassment of a wet bed.
Unable to push herself in her wheelchair
and not capable of getting food or water when she would like.
A mouth that does not move
and words that will not come out.
Her days do pass with many who walk by with no nod of
recognition or a thoughtful word to say.
One wish left for her to help her get by is the wish of death to
come soon and the golden gates to open up
and welcome her.


Dedicated to all who are unable to care for themselves.


Written by:
Misty D. Burress


Details | ABC | |

Remember Me

Remember Me! 

I Have seen the light, and been granted the key to Heaven.
God will not push or pull me , yet he will embrace me with open arms.

My world of bright by day, and Dark by night has kept behind my loving ways.

Quote me on this for this is what I have to say 

Please don't mourn me, instead celebrate my life, and remember me as I was.

"Forget me not I say"

But remember this forever, and always.
Now I'm with God in the kingdom of heaven, to help watch over you, and guide 
you and your family threw your future days.
Remember Me!


Details | Free verse | |

Unknown

Like a shadow it is
Dark and unknowing
Unsure of who, what, when or why
Can you see it or can you not
Only transposed by the light
Chasing forever your soul
When seen there is fear
For the pain that lingers.
Appearance always changing
A face unrecognizable
To whom it once was.
Grief expounds borders
Spilling into aspects
Never realized.
Dormant no more


Details | Free verse | |

Vacation

I woke up against asylum walls.
The second to the last room down the hall.
I stared faintly into the closest mirror.
Soon to realize things getting clearer.

What happened last night?
I'm still vague, but I recall the ambulence lights.
Luminous reds raid my sight.


I'm okay now, least thats what I think.
But I know I'll be seeing ten more shrinks.

Ten more bottles of medication.
Ten more sessions of remediation

When all I needed was one vacation


Details | Ballad | |

The words

And so the story goes...

Here we met.
You were funny and I laughed.
You were sensitive and I prodded.
You chased and I ran.
But I was sad because--
No, if I say the words, they're true.

Here we loved.
In your arms I saw safety.
In your words I saw security.
In your eyes I saw eternity.
Still, I was afraid to be loved because--
No, if I say the words, we're over.

Here we fought.
You spend all your time apologizing.
I spend all my time saying it doesn't matter.
But it does. You're hurting me and I'm hating you
And you'd understand if I just said--
No, if I say the words, you'll leave.

Here we parted.
I let you go and you hate me.
You brush me off and I cry and hurt and die.
You say you'll never forgive me but
If I told you--
No, if I say the words, you'll hurt.

Here we ended.
You've written me off. Filed me away. Sealed the room.
I still dream of you. Wish for you. Wait for you.
I'm the one who broke your heart.
You're the one who owns mine.
And sometimes... just sometimes I imagine you.
I imagine you holding me as I sob and I scream and I live the words.
I'm dying.


Details | I do not know? | |

Tears (2005)

Emotions release as we shed
In our hearts where our pain was once fed
Shedding tears is a hormonal response 
Hiding them will eat at you and make you cry more than once
Every tear excretes pain at great length
Tears are not a sign of weakness but only strength


Details | Free verse | |

Padded Exits

Locked away in the place for the special ones
The eccentric, the odd balls, the misfits
We rest here
We roam here
We are our own entire breed
When we return to society
We cannot assimilate into your pretentious existence
So we return
We hate it
But, we know no other life
It is the only place where we fit in
The only place we belong
We may be in hell
But, we ride this rollercoaster together
Sharps locked away and padded cells
Living here in this therapeutic hell
But, unable to escape
Our mind is chained here
We cannot escape our destiny


Details | I do not know? | |

SORRY THINGS CHANGE

THINGS ARE SO COMPLICATED NOW.
THINGS ARE STARTING TO CHANGE.

DEPRESSION AND PAIN ARE GAINING UP ON ME TODAY.

I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE,THINGS ARE SIMPLY FADING AWAY.

YOUR CHANGING, I'M CHANGING.
HEY WHAT CAN I SAY MY FEELINGS ARE CHANGING.

THEY SAY LOVE IS TOLD IN TIME.
BUT WHAT IF TIME DOESN'T WANNA TELL LOVE.

DO WE JUST STAY HERE IN THIS LIVING HELL ZONE.
AND WAIT FOR SOMETHING OR SOMEONE TO TAKE US AWAY.

THIS IS JUST SIMPLY SO CONFUSING.
AND I'M STARTING TO GIVE UP CUZ I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE.

U MIGHT NOT UNDERSTAND ME,BUT NEITHER DO I. 
I LOVED YOU SO MUCH BUT I JUST HAD ENOUGH.

I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL FOR YOU.
IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE YOU ITS 
JUST THAT THINGS ARE CHANGING.

BUT THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW. 
AND I'M SORRY FOR THAT.

YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO LEAVE.
YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT A GOODBYE.

I'M SORRY AGAIN BUT I GUESS UR GONNA HAVE TO SAY. GOODBYE
YEAH I KNOW ITS GONNA BE HARD EVEN FOR ME.

CUZ MY LENGTH OF MY LOVE HAS BEEN BROKEN. 
JUST SIMPLY BECAUSE I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE.

NOT DEPRESSION , NOT SADNESS,NOT LOVE,NOT EVEN PAIN.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF ALL THOSE.

YOU SAID I LIED,YOU SAID I DIDN'T CARE
I DID CARE, I DID LOVE YOU.

BUT YOU SEE THINGS CHANGE. 
FEELINGS FADE AWAY.

SO I'M SORRY  IF I HURT YOU.
I'M SORRY THINGS CHANGE.

BUT YOU SEE THINGS DIDN'T HAVE MEANING TO ME ANYMORE.
IF I KEPT GOING  EVERYTHING WAS GONNA BE A LIE.

THATS HOW LIFE IS.
IT'S MEANT TO HANGE. 

SO I'M SORRY .
I GUESS THINGS JUST CHANGED ONCE AGAIN.


Details | I do not know? | |

Morphine

I deal with the pain to no avail
Morphine in the cabinet yells its hail
I pop the pills hoping for some relief
But I am in turmoil, my belief
Constant ups and downs in my life
I fear being an addict to my future wife
But I can’t help it, the pain is strong
Life should’t be like this, it is wrong
Morphine is calling for me again
And this is how the poem began

Her grasp on my life is heavy
But the relief she brings, sedates me
I float into the air of nonexistence
A rest from pain so consistent
Here comes the warm rush of blood to the head
Here I lie all alone in silence, in bed
Now that the pain is finally gone
My body’s cells vibrate with opiate song
Oh how I wish the feeling would last
But soon the pain will be back, much too fast

Morphine is calling to me again
Pulling me into her opium den
The pain screams for some numbness
I pop the pills again with a quickness
She has me trapped like I am some slave
She pulls me into her hopeless cave
I wish there was answer to my pain
But I am afraid my life is in bane
Morphine is calling for me once again
And this is how the poem began