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Sad Fear Poems | Sad Poems About Fear

These Sad Fear poems are examples of Sad poems about Fear. These are the best examples of Sad Fear poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Verse | |

AM I

AM  I ?

Am I Just Standing Here, or Am I Just Dead?
Am I So Full Of Fear, I Lost Myself Instead?

Am I A Nobody, that you can't defend me?
OR
Am I Just Invisible, and you really don't pretend.

Am I Blind, Or I Just Don't Wish To See?
The Love I Cannot Find Is Right In Front Of Me!

Am I Hearing the Truth,
Or Have I Just Been Deceived?
Who Can I Trust?
Who Can I Believe?

Am I So Mad I Just Can't Understand,
Or Am I So Sad I Need A Shoulder And A friend?

Is It Just Me, 
Or Am I All Alone?

***

I wrote this poem 22 years ago
I was pregnant, scared and alone:-( 


Details | Narrative | |

My Heart Sobs

I'm till struggling to connect with you...
It feels strange that you are actually here, and so near..
You...walked past me a couple of times,
Your eyes were glistening, sober, serious...
Rushing by as if something deathly important lie ahead
In that moment, I could hear my heart thrashing in my throat
A victim in a prison, desperately closing those eyes from the fear
Wanting...to reach out to you....
But not knowing how...

How will you ever know the tears I have shed?
How will you ever see the love and care in my eyes? 
Maybe we will never know what we could be...
Maybe I am lost in uncertainty's sea

But, please...
Don't walk by me...
No, not anymore...
My sorrowful soul holds its breath when you do...
And when you are gone again...
My heart sobs...


Details | Verse | |

Behind Those Beautiful Eyes

Behind those beautiful eyes,
So much anger,so much mistrust,
Always expecting the worst,
Always conversing about the bad
things life has to offer,

Behind those beautiful eyes,
So much hurt,so much pain,
Bottled up bad experiences overflowing,
Crying to be unleashed,to be released,

Behind those beautiful eyes,
High expectation,countless plans,
Many things to still achieve,
So many things you still haven't done,

Behind those beautiful eyes,
Is a body,searching for comfort,
A mind,searching for peace,
And a heart searching for true love,

All behind those beautiful eyes.....


Details | Rhyme | |

Remnants

Sad Heart, now thou art wither’d from the Sun,
What man, or god, will near thee run?
Wrought in twist like branches in Tempests' gasp,
What Comfort, or Gauze, shall be near to grasp?
True ones begotten are the ones now Rotten
And the ones now Rotten will never be forgotten
They are merely sad remains of assiduous Tears
That have been meddl’d with and tatter’d Raw throughout the years

And thou, cruel Mind, that sat’st still thru toiling trail of Night;
Must dream your broken Dreams; thou’rt a sanely flight!
Can thou extinguish passions of Fire, Disease, or Rain?
—tho thy distinguish’d influence trains to abstain
Thy Remnants brought to debris in thy Empty street,
Devour’d by Vultures, their bestow’d beaks entreat
Merely are they cleaning an inexhaustible Mess
Alas! Leaving thy rudiments of Identity to redress....



Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Elegy | |

I Need Your Help Daddy

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here

I can’t get back in control of my emotions 
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy

I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help 

Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance 
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help







Details | Narrative | |

The Empty Tissue Box

My heart was in such pain
I felt like I was going to go insane
I just don't know what to do 
And my eyes full of tears that distort my view

I fell to my knees and felt the urge
My muscle tighten and pin needles struck me like a surge
My body was warm and with feelings so confused
My mind felt sadness had fused

I could not conquer my fears
I just sat down and fell into tears
When some close to you passes on
It felt like a warmth has gone

So I raised my hand towards a box that was empty with no tissue
I first was embarrass and had a little bit of issue
All my friends hugged me and said sorry for your loss
So now I cry in my bed and toss


April 14, 2013


Details | Rubaiyat | |

our talk

Did you not know, 
I needed you so?
why would you ever leave me?
why not let me go?

I sit here in black,
my minds lost all track,
of these strangers leaving flowers for you.
I just want you back!


I am brushing your hair,
they are starting to stare.
must feel bad for the daddy's girl.
this is so unfair!

Now the men are packing your box away.
"I am so sorry for your loss" they say,
but their sorry doesn't give me my Daddy back!
Now with whom can I play.

Mom's so lost in tears,
While I am stuck in fears.
we never even talk to eachother anymore
I just wish you were here.

Here I sit alone.
Talking to your stone.
It makes no sense to hug your dirt and cry
But, at least it's better then going home.



                                                                     Katei


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Turbulence

The voices grow louder, Intensifying with emotion, anger lining every aggressive word. My insides squeeze tighter as the vitriol poisons my mind, How does such hostility exist? As the sound of hatred deepens, The feelings strengthen their grip, like a vice, So tight, I can no longer breathe All the negative emotions I have ever felt, fill me, Threatening to overflow. So long have they been banished… Enough. No more! My mouth opens, An earsplitting scream of pain and suffering shatters the silence, Sobs of sorrow and grief wrack my body, Murderous shrieks of anger and hate, Wretched cries of self-pity and self-loathing, Poison the air. Now, free of these emotions. But the monster still exists Within the dark depths of my mind.


Details | Rubaiyat | |

No One

Silent screams no one hears
Tired eyes filled with tears
Gut wrenching heartache no one feels
Emotions dark enough to kill
Mental exhaustion no one sees
Strong enough it hurts to breathe
An answer seekin no one speaks
A language spoken without speech


Details | Verse | |

911 Aftermath Misguided Haters

You walk through the metal detector 
You look at me with a deep seated scorn
You loath that I made you remove your stuff
You had to take off your shoes belt and jewelry
You’re thinking “I’m no criminal or terrorist so why me”

I am only doing the job the government requires of me
I am not the reason you are harassed and had to partially strip
I do empathize with you seeing I have to do the same thing too
No one cares that I am a Screening Officer I am searched when I travel
The government says what’s good for the goose is good for the gander

You want to get mad at someone then look in the right direction
The ones who blatantly took the lives of our families and friends
Who took the choice of traveling to most places away forever
Who took the privilege of carrying most things on board away 
The freedom to travel with our liquids and gels peanut butter and jam

Don’t blame me because I am risking my life to keep you safe
Don’t blame me for someone not caring about your fate
Don’t blame me for what Mr. Harper and Mr. Obama says
Or for what the UK says is their Standard Operating Procedures (SOP)
Don’t blame me I am just the messenger that holds many lives in my hand


Details | Couplet | |

The Reflection

I stare in the mirror, my tears fall in vain
Can’t see my reflection through the veil of this pain.

Who is this person I struggle to see?
I don’t want to judge her but it’s surely not me.

This stranger I cast looks so tired and weak,
I wish I could help her but I’m frightened to speak.

Cause it’s dark and lonely in this shell where I’m bound
Where once there was laughter, is now void of sound.

and the beauty I knew in just yesterday’s time,
seems gone in an an instant with life’s rythym and rhyme…..

Then GOD he spoke child…What do you mean?
You’re more beautiful than anything that I’ve ever seen!

The reflection you cast it don’t matter to me,
What matters is that you can see what I see.

That your spirit is filled with a breath that is true.
And a beauty so deep that this world can’t undo.

I know that your journey seems to heavy to bear.
But I’ve given you family that love and who care.

So hold on tight through the dips and the turns,
For the ones who believe are the precious who learns.

And wether your journey is to stay here or go,
Please know I love you so much more than you know.

I wish I could tell you the beauty that awaits…
But you will know only, when you see heavens gates.


Details | Rhyme | |

Plockton - Wester Ross

The greatest holiday gift I ever received  
Goes back so many, many years
Before my life became turmoiled
And before my tears for fears

I was a child like many out there
Torn, strewn and split of kin
Mother and father in differences
Confused at seven, wearing their same skin

For I was one of the lucky ones
To a Highland Estate I would go
It's on the west coast of Scotland
Where my holidays desired me so

Secretly I internally smiled
For a whisper of where I was heading
To live with a movie star hero
No longer my life was in dreading

We were picked up by a man so fine
His manners were an absolute joy
Regimental he was in his approach
To me, just a seven year old boy

We travelled through the village of Plockton
Crystal clear waters edged to it's shore
I knew from this very moment
Being here ebbed previous family sores

On entering his house I was in awe
Movie pictures came to my view
They were images of James Bond
At seven I was totally through

A voice called to me
Hey James! sit down and I'll tell you me
Still in circles in walking awe
This is what he told thee

My name is Patrick Dalzel Job
In the Second World War I served
But this recognition I bestow
Humbles me to it's deserve

This honour that's been given
Was blessed by a colleague in war
What desired Ian Fleming to be so striven
Possibly, what we were fighting for

We served on the same destroyer
Fighting to make the future free
His tribute, in his novels I became
James Bond, it's incredibly me





Not many seven year olds have stayed with James Bond.
This seven year old Scot's boy has, maybe I learnt?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Dalzel-Job


Details | Rhyme | |

Fallen Angels

Descending eyes piercing the starry nights
Deeper yet, unto hearts of men
Crossing thresholds shattered darkness
Behold, the fallen angels unbeknown to sin

That of weakest appetites malign
As heaven's tears spilling city streets
In futility cleanse what's evil-wise
From beneath, us vagabonds of broken wings

Empty rooms loneliness desperately 
Weary hearts for yearning error in love
Far off stares and blank faces, harrow in oasis
And inspirations forgotten, never peering up

Divine light cease upon closing heart
Earthly flesh feeding frenzies
To another piece of faith withdrawn
Humanity continues on and spirituality dies ending

Some pretentious fly toward false sanctuary
Never escaping whispers, persecutions within
Hissings soft, but brimstone in our heads
Countless fallen angels iniquitous deprivation dins

"Criers" define us as the times most desperate
"God, forgive us, please" hollow words that we pray
"The wicked must be punished" God's eternal now and tomorrow
His arms outstretched further still but, where are we today


Details | Ballade | |

Imagine

Imagine lakes of dreams 
Blood contained streams
Imagine oceans that behold undiscovered beings
Imagine human life depended off of cheers and games
Man design’s umbrellas
And eventually would play a part in acid rain
Imagine not wanting to smell another rose 
Or touch another soul 
Because of despair and shame
Imagine in the mist of your demise
You have the passion to rejoice and sing
Imagine driving pass shattered glass
The interior  is soaked with blood stains
Your mind can't comprehend the fact 
that it's a dead family in the next lane
Imagine dreaming for freedom
As a result by your neck you hang
Imagine for the sake of progress 
You whip a man on his back and call him a slave.
Rage, Pain, Fortune, and fame
You don't have to imagine this 
Because that's what life brings.


Details | Lyric | |

Normal To Me

This isn't just a poem This isn't just another emotion This is me, these are my thoughts The Imagery is my sight, And The Allegories are my Life I'm lonely, There is just me But there's so many people around but no one can hear my loudest screams Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me I'm torn, I'm Cut Part of my heart stabbed, and then taken from me The Search for my innocence, Is like a moa hunt Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Laughing and Jokes all directed towards me Just to Hurt me Cover all of the Halls "Fag, Emo, Queer" Words I too often know Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me Curling her hair putting on her makeup "You're worthless and nothing to Me" Says the so-called all-loving-one As she screams: "Why am I not Pretty" Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me This is not just a poem not just some words my pen cries with each words But this is Just a Glimpse Don't Shout nor Scream This is all just Normal To Me


Details | Free verse | |

Hurt

I can't tell you what it is I can't even tell you what it feels like I can only tell you that it's the worst pain You'll ever feel in you life It'll feel like every bone in your body is breaking Like every breath you take will be your last Like every muscle in your body is failing to support you And thats only the least of it. There is so much more! You eyes will feel like they're bleeding from all the tears you'll shed. You tounge will swell with words that you can't say. Your ears will make you question everything coming into them. And your heart, Well thats the worst part of it! It will feel as though its stopped beating... And who knows, maybe it has.


Details | Rhyme | |

Entwinement

Bleeding around me are empty faces
Sad, drooping spaces, crumpled places
Melancholy for the light of new places
Stuck in time, frozen in time
The pangs of lonesome fill their sagging hearts
Frowning forever, frowning forever
Let me stare blankly at the stained wall
Nothing at all…nothing at all

The mind is a scary place 
The mind is a distraction
From the reality ever binding
Curbing every reaction
The mind is overwhelming
The mind is oh so sad
When we turn to larvae and graves
It’s an never-ending...
Entwinement 

Found myself looking through the tiny hole in the wall
Watching you fall, watching you fall
Scared for the neck that would break us all
You shuddered my blood…shuddered my blood
I met the eyes of the souls of your feet
Twitching and swinging…unfeeling…unfeeling
Please allow me this sole ease:
Just be with me... lie with me

The mind is a scary place 
The mind is a distraction
From the reality ever binding
Curbing every reaction
The mind is overwhelming
The mind is oh so sad
When we turn to larvae and graves
It’s an everlasting...
Entwinement

-inspired by Mad World by Gary Jules-
-also inspired by the stop motion film: The Man in the Lower-Left hand Corner of the Photograph-


Details | Free verse | |

Alive

And we are left here Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk We are the forgotten I am watching the others grow rotten But I am cleansed and raw with glee Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE… I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds My definition of true finds… I smile when any possible hope arrives Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside I am amused of it all…I can’t stop laughing As bitter tears began to fall I HATE ALL OF YOU… I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL… But I love that I can take anything From the nothing we have all been labeled The sick, the low…the mentally unstable Watch me roll up in a ball A naughty tease to death’s lull I love your silence… I love your intense fall And we are more alive than any of you We are crazed by your belligerence Aching to be emotionless SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE SHARE IT… Give us something to be left with So the others can die As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror Listen to her laughter—do you hear her? She watches and waits To find her maggots have grown wings… Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly We are more alive than any of you Though quickly we die


Details | Free verse | |

The Hands of Pain

My soul pounds with rage.
This heart has been scorched,
by your burning words.

My soul gasps for light 
slowly suffocated,
By your hands of pain.

I bare the mark of shame.
Your touch has maimed my body.
My mind drowned out my screams.

Blow by blow,
Shamed so low.
Never did you know how,
Your hands of pain marked me.


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmare

Rest is a requirement,
for all,
in order to have this,
sleep is a must,
after a day’s of hard work,
wherein sleep is a must,
for all,
to freshen up the next day,
though the mind goes to sleep,
and the body follows suit,
the subconscious mind awakens,
and in lie,
a number of dreams,
awaiting you,
the dream,
that always reigns in my mind,
is the death of my wife, 
not once,
but more than a couple of times,
why does this dream,
often arise in my mind,
is the answer I seek,
is it because of the love we have towards one another,
or is it the compassion for each other,
or is it in relation of serving one another, 
or is it a kind of warning,
a warning to take care in the future, 
some people may call this as the sixth sense,
while I call this a nightmare,
as nightmares are really scary,
yes, nightmares are quite scary indeed, 
if you do agree with me or not!!

From:-Mr.Manu Nair (dated 19th November, 2012)


Details | Rhyme | |

A cry for help

Somebody help me because I have fallen. I’m so deep and I can’t get out, it’s too steep. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to leave; it’s becoming harder to breathe. Screaming but nobody hears. Crying but nobody sees the tears. Pulling myself up but getting pulled back down. Doing nothing but getting swallowed by the ground. Somebody help me please! Grasp my hand and don’t release! I’m being consumed by the darkness. Clawing cause’ loneliness is calling. Take me out of this nightmare, nobody is there… Curled up cold in the corner, life can’t get any shorter.


Details | Free verse | |

Backfire

What’s the use of trying any longer?
Nothing comes out the way I want it to flow
Words perpetrate my every being
And I strain to get my temperament to slow
But my cognizance is reeling in a panic of waves
The voltage of emotion is overwhelming me
What is this journey impending to?
What is my purpose?
To obliterate or build?
I keep assurances only to splinter and shatter them
I melt into their regrets and apologies without looking back
Then I am slapped right back in the face
With my own waves of shame and qualm
I wish I was like you
I wish I could put a guise on and never show my face
I wish I could take a dagger and extinguish the sorrow
Destroy tomorrow
But it keeps coming back with twinges and pains!
I want to scream my way into your existence
I want to end all the overwrought thoughtlessness
I want to be lifted in your ease
To be beautiful and clever like you
The demon is me and I am foaming with misery
My horns are melting by your pertinacious confrontations
I can’t reply to the desolation of nothingness
I can’t make it all go away
I’m trapped! RELIEVE ME!
Cursed adrenaline rushes about me
My body is prickling and waterlogged in blackness
I swallow the poisons of my backwash
And back-fire every stab in the back


Details | Rhyme | |

convo with my inner freak

me:
"you're the reason i have no freinds,
the thing i try to hide,
i lock you up inside my head,
and keep you inside"
jez:
"i am you and you must see,
the one you truly are,
not always who they think,
you still shine like a star,"
me:
"i miss the life 
you took from me,
the girl i was,
please leave me be."
jez:
"......"
me:
"i miss your voice,
within my head,
come back and stay,
don't leave instead"
jez:
"......"
me:
"ive lost you now,
my heart will fade,
you were my heart,
a mistake i've made."

somthing new for those who commented on all my other poems.
~hides and peeks out~ do you like it?


Details | Free verse | |

Lost, Without Hope

Everywhere I look, all I see is nothing A vast space full of water, the current pulling me out to nowhere Kicking and screaming I’m trying to stay above the wild waves But the crash and smash against me, the water filling my lungs I cannot breathe and I cannot float much longer I want so desperately to have something to cling to But yet I am alone in this fight, to keep my mind above To keep myself from sinking to the depths of depression A dark, endless pit that I will not be able to escape The burning anger above me And sweltering sadness beneath me Challenge me in my everyday To try and hold on to the thin lines of reality The lines that are blurring before my very eyes I do not know how much longer I can keep I want it all to end…but I do not want to end it all I am so tired…so very tired But sleep dances away from me, Like a young child on a play ground, sleep runs and hides The giggles of him I can hear, here and there But I cannot reach him He his beyond my capacities, beyond my boundaries And I’m losing this fight to stay above the water I feel like I’m drowning ‘ISN’T ANYONE THERE’ I cry And I weep, but honestly I really don’t know why Why I feel so trapped in this grey world With no escape and no reverence I am lost in the wild furls of my psychotic mind Where no one can find me, no one can help me…save me Alone and drowning I try to grasp onto the thin wisp of hope But it is false and was gone before it ever appeared I am lost, with nothing but the water and fire The darkness, and terror I have nothing to hold onto Yet I keep fighting, I keep fighting this losing battle But I do not know how much longer I will last


Details | I do not know? | |

Whispers

I once heard a saying,
that the happiest people are the saddest
Shining because they’ve seen the darkest
Like the lotus that grows out of mud
Or the rotting stump that bears a bud..

You never know what troubles the mind
So be careful with words unkind
The glowing person just beside you
Could be a crumbling ruin behind the hairdo
 Most people struggle everyday
Souls burdened with decay..

I guess it takes a lot of courage
To act normal with that damage
Hard to believe that under the surface
Lives a soul with no purpose
A cry for help won’t be any crisper
Listen to the their inner whisper..


Details | Lyric | |

Borderline's Wreckage

I'm Agonizing every Word that my mind Creates You've done this all to me release your wrath to Me You wonder How much a Human Heart can take I've reached the limit You've invaded me on every level none of this is Mine anymore I can't bleed enough for You We're through This, This Torture Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You Feel Free to abuse If it's you I won't lose The Winds push away The Vines pull forth I'm at a lose on what to do So very lost and Confused Don't say we're through Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You I Hate you ...Don't leave me I push you so far away But need you so close I'm on the edge you're all I really need I'll do anything Just don't Abandoned me leaving has it's toll Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You


Details | Narrative | |

this was me

it began so innocently
we exchanged ideas on poetry
his art, the suffering he endured
he preyed upon my compassion
as he meticulously bided his time...

i felt safe as we expressed
our mutual love of words
i was excited, i was learning,
unbeknowst to me, i was his prey..

many months and thousands of hours, 
talking, reaffirmed my trust; faith in him
he shared his life, triumps & tragedies
i supported all he desired for himself..

i understood, i felt his pain, 
his drive i admired, he overcame tremedous odds,
became a doctor so others would not suffer as he had;
he baited me; the innocent and naieve one.

living life with no regret,
i chose to take a leap of faith,
he guided me, alleviated my fears,
of promises to cherish and adore me..

as a tiger waits patiently to pounce on his prey
i was oblivious to his hatred inside,
he was a master of manipulation
his mission - to destroy me..

i felt he was worth giving 
up all i knew to build a life
he so lovingly described to me,
little did i know, his words - poison..

america bound i left everything i knew; i loved.
the terror of his drunken rages, his icy silence,
the cruelty of his words stung like red hot coals.
what he admired most about me,intensified his hatred.

the vacancy in his eyes was terrifying, 
i was alone in a strange country, 
knowing no one, in a house, not a home, 
full of tension, rage, abuse; numb and in shock;
this was my reality..

with each painstaking day of living in terror
dreading his arrival, my fear reached new heights;
i had enough; i was leaving.
his rage increased, his words pure venom..

i was numb, shaking, fear drove me to action
he became desperate, i did not sleep 
for fear of never waking, his actions so terrifying
i felt a strength within, empowering me..

planning my escape, fear became my ally,
i reached the airport and did not stop shaking
until safely on the plane, doors shut, 
moving down the runway to take-off;
i wept, i crumbled, i collapsed.

jubilantly at home, i felt peace, safe, 
and soaked in the beauty of my freedom; my home.
it has been six weeks; i have flashbacks, 
terror still haunts me; i am determined 
to not let another change me.

i am healing and am grateful for every
moment i smile, smell a flower, witness
the marvel of each sunrise and sunset.
i am a blessed girl.

~this was me~ 


Details | Rhyme | |

Darkness

September 29, 2012
-------------------------

This secret life of lies you keep
Cause me to stumble and in pain to weep
Shine a light in the darkness
Help me travel safely through this darkness
This wretched, blasted dark you keep me in
All the doors locked, I crash into obstacles never to win
This race, not without a light
Without a glimmer, a candle, something to grant me some sight
Because I can't continue to wonder-
This darkness on my own blindly
I try to ease my way around the blocks
But still, in the dark, I fail to see the holes
And I fall-hard
And you're gone
And alone I weep
Because I cannot make my way without fail
All I ever wanted was to be your friend
But you will not let me in
So I continue to blindly wonder in the darkness
Always stumbling
Always falling
Always failing


Details | Verse | |

The Nymph

I live on that borrowed time
What do you know about me...
She was a nymph that got me
In sexual moments she kills
She gives something unwanted
A disease, unknown to all
Now I’m living with something
That could kill me instantly
I feel nothing but knowing
I could die...
This nymph knew me all too well
She used me
Can kill me and not be there
I just live on borrowed time
Death will one day lean on me
I will die

Russell Sivey


Details | Free verse | |

asdfghjklsemicolon

“asdf.

asdfg.

asdfghjkl;.”

It makes no difference.

“Asdf.

Asdfg, hjkl;.

asdfghjkl;;lkjhgfdsa.”

It’s not working.

“Asdfg,

Asdfgh, ghjkl;,

asdfghjkl;;lkjgfdsaasdfghjkl;;lkjhgfdsa.”

Come on!

“Asdfgh,

Asdfghjkl;, ;lkjhgfdsa!

asdfghjkl;;lkjhgfdsaasdfghjkl;;lkjhgfdsaasdfghjkl;;lkjhgfdsaasdfghjkl;;lkjhgfdsa!”

It’s not working!

“Why won’t you listen to me?!”





It’s done.
It’s over.
I blew it.


Details | Free verse | |

Lamenting Spirit

Seemingly standing alone,
In the shadows of doubt and fear,
Lost, cold, forgotten,
Cold is the grasp of death that nears

Seeking a hand in darkness of solitude,
Wishing for nothing but a love,
Turned away, cast aside, borne not even a stray, lone thought,
Towering aloft, looked down upon from far above

Throned so high overhead, just as kings of old,
Glared down upon, a lowly tear forsaken so,
Caught within a trap, drowning, mists of sorrow,
A voice unheard, a voice deserted, only a voice in woe

Wandering such great, forlorn paths,
A derelict mind harshly beat, a mind that has since long been vacant,
Rove, this neglected child does,
One mind among so many, outcast, this dolor mind abeyant. 


Details | Lyric | |

Why Must It Be

Can I let you go? Will you be okay? Where you're headed now...to a better place Listen to my words of forgiveness relieving this pain I'd give anything to have you back again To hold you once more in my arms, one more day of happiness you now dwell within my heart Your innocent smile is forever a distant memory, and the times that we share are precious treasures that I spend reliving The Shadow of Death Took you in just one breath Why must it be? I cry behind this closed door, searching desperately for an answer, yet all I feel is an emptiness inside... despair haunts me forevermore Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave? Why does this have to hurt? Cancer robbed thy life from thee... Why must it be? Fly away Angel Child of Mine Trod thy broken paths, roam away, fly and be free... Why must it be?


Details | Lyric | |

This is about you

When you have downfall on your mind chaos is all a mind can find, its time to change all the things you had held so deep inside, they cause rage, your trapped in while your caught up in the cage of life an easy life with out strife, no more pain or struggle inside a bubble and you want to make it burst, but first things first you know the times that come will be the worst, because its change you want, and you will taunt the ones who set the curse. They say if you want to change a little then its your choice, but if you want to change a lot they must first hear your voice, loud enough for all to hear, listen and all of the problems soon disappear, just know that the world can be a  bleak one and people dont always listen so you cannot only speak once, so when the end is near you can look back at the goodtimes throughout all the years think about all the times and cheer, and thank god you lived this long and your still here. Be remembered  only for  the words you spoke, for you do not want to be invisioned inside a cloud of smoke, watch as they listen when you start to feel the choke on the thoughts about your life,a bad life,  a black life, envoloped in fear you were hoping that the man would hear, and maybe take a listen, to diamonds in your mind as you watch them glisten. finally move to a position, and  open your ears and let your mind be clear, and hear the wisdom spoken from the person on the otherside of the mirror, society sobriety with out a clue just sit and ponder at the deepest thoughts that are revealed in you...


Details | Classicism | |

The Fall

then here,
idle now to some
small thought
i wander though
this timeless court
 
and drift beyond
what i have known
and see the weight
of pastures sown
 
discover i must
unknowing why
who i am
beneath the sky
 
i close my eyes
and feel the pull
of timeless days
I know the rule.
 
down down
to the depth
discover i
what is left
 
of what began
a simple boy
innocent full
of joy
 
down down
does this end
as i wash
in its decent
 
down down
and still it goes
back to where
a spring was sown
 
a fear grips
the torn grey heart
as it descends
to the start
 
will it stop
as still i fall
clawing at this
living wall
 
down down
out of sight
the noisome wind
the fading light
 
faster still
as i fall
dropped down
inside
a pit-stone wall
 
and slowly now
i reach the depths
of mind and soul
of what is left
 
the air is damp
i breath in deep
uneven bottom
beneath my feet.
 
and here i am


Details | Rhyme | |

LOVES MY TRAGEDIES

It never takes much for me to fall in love,
but i love, love for all the reasons I hate love,
I love, love because love is what holds me through the night,
but that same love may hit me in a fight,
I love, love because love is my protection,
but that same love may hurt me from rejection,
I love, love cause no two loves are the same,
but falling in love is like continuing a game, and i just don't wanna play anymore,
I want a love that will love me and except me,
Don't try and change me,
but that is just the type of love that will never find me,
so instead of hating love, I fear love,
I fear love more then I love, love,
I have never feared expressing my love,
but I fear falling in love too deeply cause I know that is just the type of love that will 
hurt me, 
I have falling in love so many times,
it always seems like a race against  time,
love never stays with me,  it always leaves me,
it always finds a way to hurt me,
whether it's taking a boy from me, or taking away someone in my family,
loves my tragedies,
but without love leads me to sanity,
I hate the feeling of being alone because I spent my whole life alone,
 I'v done everything in my life on my own,
I don't think I deserve to be alone but I fear what love may one day do to me,
because love I know will one day hit me,
just like daddy hit mommy,
just like love hit my sister,
love wouln't let them excape and I'v seen the pain the blood and the tears,
so love has become the source of all my fears,
I never stay in love cause i feel the need to fun from love,  but this I will never tell,
I may say I love but it's not the same type of love inwhich you know of
because when I love I love deeply,
but my love for love is running swifly,
I am getting older by the year and one day I will have to live with a man,
but I will not love that man I will fear that man,  because if I love him he will grow 
mad, and he will one day hit me,
thats why I fear any guy loving me,
because loves my tragedies.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Rape

What was I to do scared I tried so hard to stop it but nothing I did helped, I 
couldn't scream and I have no idea why,maybe the fear from the fact the one 
thing I never really know if it would've happened to me did or the fact I didn't try 
while it was happening, I wish I could go back and change the mistake made but 
once made it's done. I can't ell my mother she'll never believe me, she'll think I 
meant for it to happen but I struggled and I fought but not hard enough obviously. 
A secret that haunts me for the rest of my life and God only knows that I never tied 
to do that. I still hold that fear within because I don't know who to really trust with 
this secret, in some ways I don't believe I know anyone who will just except this. 
This is the first time I have publicly announced this and I only hope that you won't 
look at me any differently; I need no sympathy I just hope that whoever else reads 
this poem how has been through the same will help make them stronger and 
know that they aren't the only ones, my heart goes out to you.


Details | Ballad | |

Free

Darkness surrounds me Your breath, skin, and words cover me
Shadows, memories, my body black and blue
Enough wounds from you
I want to be free
Free from touching you

Something always brings me back to you
A song, a picture, a voice in time
All put you back in my mind I want to be free
Free to be just me

Moving physically out of your reach
Running, hiding, checking over my shoulder
Looking for the weapon that pierces through time
One that cuts like a knife
Making you totally gone from my life
Bleed and make me free
Free and strong may I be


Details | I do not know? | |

The Warrior

The Warrior

My pencil is my sword
My eraser is my shield
And when I go to war
My paper is my battlefield 
When life is to much
This is how I express the way I feel
And so I write such words
As murder, stab, kill
When people read these words
Misunderstanding they think I’m insane
But this is just how I vent
All my anger, frustration and pain
People that don’t know me
Think I look like a bad man
The people that say they do know me
Think I live the life of a madman
All of these things
Circling in my head
Sometimes I have to wonder
Would I be better off dead
I used to be a somebody
And my reputation would reflect
That I used to be a person
To look up to and respect
But now you can see
By the trembling in my hands
That all I am these days
Is a tired, broken man


Details | Ballad | |

Martyr for the Unorthodox word

If I had over 10,000 dreams You'd be the only thing my mind could see Judgment couldn't be real Succumbing to the fear of this cold life Find a way to break through The self-destruction of wordly delusions Don't tell me I've lived so long in a lovely illusion Break me down until we find a Nirvanic state Then bring me a savior from transgressions An atoning sacrifice Send down to me a messenger for me to submit to Bring me the truth to break through The delusion Bring me the messenger to explain it all And let me leave behind Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Without a will to fight But I have the Means to be free I'll try to go with the word I believe But so many stones to be thrown Stakes to burn, limbs to break Faces to hate, scorns to taste Will I have the will to die Despite all of the tears no one will cry Sorrow's caressing the earth The caliphate stole my heart Broke my will Safetefied my soul Martyr for the Unorthodox word


Details | Lyric | |

The Escapist's Plea,

I dont know where i'm going anymore hard to tell who you are when the indiffrency has settled in cold, empty, barren will i ever find a way? Help me find a way out of this sorrow filled cage My soul singed with everyday Reality so hard to face I need to find a way to escape Only if i could just fly a way I try to stay sane But i fell under the september rain A repuiem for the reality That i never wish to see Help me find a way out of this sorrow filled cage My soul singed with everyday Reality so hard to face I need to find a way to escape Only if i could just fly a way I need a way to escape, Only if I could just fly away


Details | I do not know? | |

Nightmare

Standing alone in the night Dark all around Something doesn't seem quite right I hear a sound Like a werewolf howl Coming from all around And the noise of an owl Piercing red eyes appear Lightning strikes from the sky Death is seeming rather near And I don't want to die Am I dreaming? I hope I'm dreaming? Nightmare Confronting everything that I fear Nightmare The seeming reality of everything I see and hear Down into the ground I fall Deep into the dark Evil says my name, I hear it call The devil's made his mark I run, through the endless cave Stumbling through to find there's no way out Everything is what I've gave I've given up, all I want to do is scream and shout Nightmare! This is everything I fear Nightmare! I think the end is coming near I hope I'm dreaming I wish I was dreaming But I know this is my fate Lucifer, he can't wait To take my soul away There's nothing more I can do or say Nightmare! Losing everything I ever cared for Nightmare! Losing myself even more Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare! What I never want Nightmare! My mind is does haunt It don't care What I fear Cause with it, it grows I'm hating everything it knows I wish it wasn't real Everything I see and feel But it's true And just like a Nightmare!


Details | I do not know? | |

HALF MONSTER

I’m half monster.
Living in a jackal and hide world of a father’s imposter.
In fear of that half coming out
I am left without.
Who am I?
Can I distinguish why?
Will anger entice me?
Will feelings precise me?

I’m half monster!
I’m half of my father.
I can’t punish my child in fear of going to far.
I can’t change him without feeling dirty by a hidden scar.
He made me!
He hated me!
He’s my parent.
He’s my serpent.

I’m half monster!
He’s a monster.
I wish I knew where I fit.
Half and half I am split.
My brothers followed his steps.
I am a misstep.
I wasn’t supposed to be.
Can I get rid of this monster inside of me?


Details | Free verse | |

Home Is Where the Heart Is Stilled

Abandoned places,where
perhaps memories linger,
with wisps of wafting moments,
aware, somehow, even of  the now,
Though long forgotten by all others,
One wonders why, and surely how,
Such strong vibrations of the past,
Seem to time, to have taken a bow...

Gutted building, windows broken,
Creaking, leaking floor,
Last stepped on by the living,
So many, many years before...

Where lives were lived, and
deaths have come in their way,
To others, in a time gone by,
Who here saw their last sad day,
Tears were cried,hearts
were smashed,
Love withered, its flame 
reduced to ash...

Is this a mysterious black hole of time??
A singularity, of now and here...
Where time is not so limpid...
And death is always near,
And fear can swim in the unknown,
The fear of time's mysterious cloud...
As ticks, as tocks, somehow go forever by, 
so mysteriously, and seemingly, oh so loud...

What was the last calendar's  year hung?
The last phone call received,
And who had been the one rung??

Ghost House,
Ghost House,
Scary, time
abandoned place,
Secure in forgotten
nothingness,
And with time, 
you've lost the race.


Details | Rhyme | |

Put a bullet in my brain

Put a bullet in my brain
as the rain sweeps her out of my arms
and places her into another's.
Put a bullet in my brain
for I don't want to see love slip away
please end my suffering,
for I don't want to dare see her in the arms of another man.

I fear the tear that slips away from my soul
and touches the ground with a splash
as she is washed away by the lashed memories of the rain,
please, someone put a bullet in my brain.

I can't bear to see her with another man
laying in his arms
as he charishes her beauty
just like I did to her.
As she smiles and laughs at his jokes
my heart would not bare the sorrow and pain
that would tare my heart apart into pieces of tainted love.
Please tell the rain to stop,
as the pain grows when rain comes down,
please someone end my suffering,
put a bullet in my brain
and stop the rain
that washes away every memory of her.

Stop saying you miss me
and just kiss me
for I can't take the pain
of the rain that takes you away.
Kiss me and stop saying you miss me
for those are useless words to me.
Love is where it's at, so show me.
Don't go with him, he'll treat you wrong.
Love and laugh with me till the break of dawn
as we yawn the long night away.

Kiss me and don't say you miss me.
For if you go away from me,
I couldn't bare to take a tear and waste it away.
Tears, sweet tears crying for you,
doesn't that mean anything to you?
I ask you, stop the rain,
stop the pain and put that bullet in my brain.

Let the red blood flow from my temples.
Let the plow dig my grave,
for I can't bare to see you with another
in his arms, him kissing you, where I kissed you.
I can't take it, I have to make it,
make that pain go away.
Prayer didn't help, God turned a blind eye
when I came up and said why!
Put that bullet in my dome
and when I lay in the coffin, looking at the roof of the church
you come and kiss me, and then you can really say
that you'll miss me.


Details | Acrostic | |

C H A O S

Could I not see such ugly drawn out choices.

Hollow I feel such nothing for people it is fear that feeds me.

Alone in this forsaken world with nothing to accept.

Order is such pain that it is nothing but chains.

Souls that bare nothing but lost cause to confusion is such utter mistakes.


Details | Narrative | |

I am HIV - AIDS

I AM HIV/AIDS 

     
Saint Luke predicted me long time ago,
While the Book of Revelation warned you about me.
I am raging like a wild fire,
I am growling like a lion,
I have spotted you and I will pounce on you!
I am HIV/AIDS!

I attack people in all socio-economic and educational classes,
I cut across cultural and religious sects,
Graves and hospitals bear this testimony.
Despite significant medical accomplishments,
I remain incurable,
I am HIV/AIDS

From Africa to America, Australia to Asia and Artantica to Europe.
From  Cape Provinces to Limpopo and Mpumalanga to Kwa-Zulu / Natal.
From Bekkersdal to Grobblersdal and Makapanstad to Marabastad.
From Sun Valley to Sun City and  Mamelodi to Mametlhake. 
From Witlagte to Langlagte and  Suiwerskuil to Kromkuil.
I am reigning, I am HIV/AIDS.

Woe for the earth and for the sea,
Because I have descended in great anger to devour you!
I refer to you, who do not abstain,
I mean you there, who are not faithful,
And you here who do not condomise,
For I am HIV/AIDS.

Media has warned you,
Priests have preached at the top of their voices,
Politicians have cried loud,
Organizations and institutions have given you warnings,
But all these have come to naught,
Now I will kill you like flies, for I am HIV/AIDS

This is not news to you,
You will certainly catch me through unprotected sex,
Shared infected needles and syringes, contaminated blood,
And from an infected mother to her unborn child.
I then multiply in your blood, mercilessly attacking
Your defence system and leave you for the dead,
For I am HIV/AIDS.

You know this fully well;
You cannot catch me through
Sneezing, sharing toilet seats, coughing,
Or shaking hands with an infected person.
Behold, even if you are not infected,
You are affected by me, for I am HIV/AIDS.

Even though I am dreadful and mighty,
I will finally die and my heart is sore,
That will be when sense is finally knocked in your head,
That will be when you abstain from sex,
You remain faithful to your partner or condomise,
Remember, prevention is better than cure, for I am HIV/AIDS!                                                 




Details | Free verse | |

Agree to Disagree

                                               
                                               Mankind's greatest
                                                 accomplishment...
                                                       
                                                      

                                                      is death.


Details | Lyric | |

This Aint Real

Your face, 
Made a fake smile, (you said)
I love you,
I need you,
I want you just for a while,
You told me,
That I made you smile,
All the things you said to me,
Are just words now,
How can we love,
When you love me for yourself,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus: 2x
What are we doin,
If this love ain't real,
What is this feeling,
That I feel,

I'm broken in emotion,
I'm broken in love, (you said)
I need you,
I want you
You're the only one,
I'm thinkin of, (so tell me)
How can we love, 
When there's always someone else,
(This Aint Love)

Chorus 2x
Bridge:
How can we love,
When there's always someone else,
How can we make up,
When you only love me for yourself,

verse #3:
You got me imprisoned, 
Inside your heart,
When kissed
I felt, Like we,
Would never be apart,
chorus 2x

 


Details | Verse | |

Help Me

HELP ME

When we fight 
I want to run away
But there’s nowhere to go
But down, down, down

Your vicious tongue lashes thru my heart
As you beat me with your soul
And I want to run away 
So far from you and this town, town, town

If I could just tell someone 
I’m just a piece of trash
Would they help me or am I just all alone?
Metal and glass crash. 

I never thought I could hate someone 
Until I met your sadness
Evil never felt so bad. 
You’re driving me too madness

Running, running away from you 
To nowhere lasting
Screaming and nobody hears me 
As my blood pours fasting 

Please save me from this ilk. 
I’m too weak to drink my milk
The time has come and gone my friend
I fear the near is coming to an end…help

Leah
1/30/2013


Details | Lyric | |

Overcoming Struggle

Overlook a lifetime past
Remember how it did not last
Life changes quickly before your eyes.
This so called reality surrounded by lies.
A sad thought it may seem
I do not want to open  my eyes to another dream.
Real reality set in.
Lets look forward and begin
I am in this game of life to win.
I will not give up and lose.
I will stand tall
even though I am battered and bruised.


Details | Alliteration | |

War has come , War has come

War has come , war has come,
My home once a gem of beauty , to fires and rage it succumbed,
Powerless i watched , the desolation of man
How evil overwhelms and greed robs one of all sense
Day by Day loved ones fell,
Till our lives became nothing short of hell,
I prayed in silence fearing my inevitable doom,
For the grim reaper lays in wait ,
Thus i have resigned to my fate..

The morning sun arrived,
With the heavens granting me another day,
The screams have gone silent , with no presence of tyranny,
I run through the village searching for a sign of hope,
Till my legs grew weary and my vision grew dim,
I muster what strength i have,
Refusing to become a victim of fate,
Footsteps i hear , approaching fast,
Men with weapons with black souls drenched in hate,
As i look into the eyes of my executioner ,
with the certainty of death,
memories of my life flash , as i take my last breath,
War has come , War has come


Details | Narrative | |

The Cook and His Dish

Pity her as she cried 
On the floor, ragged, she lied
She's covered with odd bruises
And hell things on mind cruises

She was there left alone
Mourning for help at home.
Hungry and parched she was,
Hoping someone would pass

“Click! Click!”, the door knob sounds
At last someone’s around.
Who’s there? Who could that be?
At last! She will be free!

But it widened her eyes
Scared and again she cried
‘Twas a man who appeared
Went to her and she feared.

He touched her hair and said
“Hush! Hush! Just go to bed
Stay quite, don’t be a heck!”
And kissed her on the neck.

Poor girl, she just abide
To the man whom she feared
“Why is he doing this?
I’m his daughter, why’s this?”

In the bedroom they were;
Father started kissing her.
Poor lil girl can’t defy
If she speak up, she’ll die.

“Oh my Lord, please help me,
I can’t take it, save me.”
Said her mind as tears flowed
Grieving in pain; she moaned.

Then suddenly she smiled
From what she heard outside.
A sudden hope in her eyes gleamed
From something she perceived.


She heard her mother’s voice
"I'll be saved" she rejoiced
“A miracle for me
Lord replied to my plea.”

And the door opened
Mother saw what happened
Shocked and startled she was
Then screamed for help, at last!

Mother bellowed and slapped him
Outraged and said to him
“She is your daughter!
Why did you rape her?”

Then neighbors came
Naked -- poor girl was ashamed
Dazed and shaken they were
Staring at poor girl and her father.

Then two cops came along
Grabbed the father for his wrong
He panicked and dreaded
Denied all he acted

Livid and offended 
Lil girl stood and stated
“Oh yes, that man raped me,
Not just once but many times.” 

Then her father uttered
“My dish is my daughter.
I’m the one who made her,
So I should also taste her.”

Wretched from what she heard
She spoke not a single word
Woeful and quite, she sniveled
Suddenly collapsed and fell

At last poor girl’s now free
From nightmare and agony
Yes she has a father
But she’s his dish not his daughter.


Details | Elegy | |

The Lament For an Angel

All in one faded-black day (but let None forget) In my arms, her body lay (my life was the price to pay) A tragedy, through the lack of humanly shame (do they know pain) My darkly colleen has to suffer no more (Robert nor do you) Let me die (please hear my haunted cries) If I can not see Sophie tonight (live on with my grey) I'm just a mess of despairing words And broken nerves Another mourning, afflicted sight (through decay, love can remain) Solace, sympathy are just more lies She is all I need Until you decide she is just another sadist's toy My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away My Angel, why did you have to fly so far away My Angel, just let one feather stay My Angel has flown away (My body is amortal, die I may, Together, our hearts will forever stay)


Details | Personification | |

This Day

This is a day that I could have really done without,
Saying you love me and do this to me hurts no doubt.
   Day  after day I pray that you will please stop,
What pain you've caused me has taken all I've got .
   I love you and adore you but it seems not to matter,
Still you continue to hurt me leaving my heart shattered.
   You come to me with words I have only  dreamed ,
But what they were meant for was to hurt me it seems .
    Never  have I seen a woman with so much hate ,
Taking revenge on me by disrespecting me till it hurts.
    True I have  waivered with my troubles with trust,
The one thing thats important and this is a must.
     There are no more words or sayings that will ever work,
I have tried everything  I know giving it all that its worth .     
     To the day I die I will never understand why ,
The woman I love does everything to make me cry .
     So this my dream to be forever with you ,
Is only nightmares for me  and dying is all I can do.
     This a day I surely could do without.
TAC


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Dramatic monologue | |

All Day Long

All. Day. Long.

I sit there, in my chair, All. Day. Long. 
Glaring at people I hate. 
The people who are but mere memories.
Mere dust in the wind.

All that I know has blown away, 
taken by my faulty actions.
The dull replay of Meteora fills my room with lyrical insanity, 
tempting me with beat and anger. 
But I’ve realised it’s not the music that’s dull.
It’s myself. I am dull. 
 Dull, empty, detached, dead. 
My actions have caused this, my mental instability.

My arms and wrists, they’re crisscrossed with faint pink patterns,
the product of my attempts at reattachment and relief.
Eternal smiles of violet beneath my eyes, wrinkles surround my lips. 
My skin, yellow from the drugs, reflects weakly the sunlight from outside.
I blame everyone but myself, my personality rotten to the core.
My lungs, as well, shredded by smoke that acted like needles.

I couldn’t help myself, I jest in my mind. 
I’ve been trying to shove the blame onto something but myself, 
only to find there is nothing to blame but myself.

My body has been wracked to this state, 
a state well beyond my mere 29 years. 
My mind, hanging from a cliff. 
Threatening to free fall at any moment. 

As I sit there, in my chair, 
memories of an age long gone from my life flash before my eyes.
 A girl I loved, laughing.
 Her and I lying in the grass, at a lake’s edge.
A cat akin to night, eyes green as mine, purring softly in my lap.
Flashes of guns, from a war forgotten by all but me. 

As I reminisce these memories, a spark of feeling—pain.
Upwelling in my gut.
 Through my chest.
 Stabbing into the side of my head.
The pain triggers a new wave of recollection. 

Again, the girl. My mind so foggy I can’t remember her name. 
Dancing slowly to a song no longer heard of. 
Snow. A blush of the cheeks. Hands in mine, warming and comfortable.
The pain in my head intensifies, blinding me. 
I fall from my chair, the first time I’ve moved all day. In 2 days.

Shaking my head, I pull myself up. Standing, I look around. 
Another flash of pain, followed by a sensation I’d all but forgotten.
Her lips. At dusk. The very first time.
I stumble away from an unseen being, crashing into the wall. 
Blinking my eyes furiously, I right myself. 
Waiting a moment, I sit back down. 
And let the dullness take over, the pain ebb away, 
and the memories to replay.
All. Day. Long.


Details | Free verse | |

The Wall, The Wall

The Wall, The Wall

I
the world fades from my fingertips
like blood oozing from an open wound
the sky is ripped apart and full of thunder
and my eyes are twisted in pain

shut the door and lock me within
the light is buzzing and flickering
something is about to explode
or maybe thats just my soul

softly touch the wall and it corrodes
the white paint peels and turns black
and cracks appear on the surface
a garbage touch that ruins it all

for years the signs of ruin were there
building up behind fragile white walls
and now i sit here with an open chest
my heart nailed to the damned wall

and as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood from an open wound
the sky outside is bloody and tormented
and i cant begin to see my own reality

II
im so afraid that if i get up ill fall again
damned by the ghosts of the past
the flashing glare of reality looms larger
closing in on me and slapping me

if only someone could open the door
and let me out of this foreboding room
perhaps i could see more than whats inside
instead of slicing myself in half

remember it was your verse that ended me
slicing off my fingers one by one
it was when my heart was nailed to the wall
that i truly forgot how to feel

my sickening screams echo loudly
throughout the confines of my own mind
reverberating down my spine
and leaving me in a shivering fit

as the world fades from my fingertips
like blood pouring from an open wound
the sky outside has faded to a deep black
and i cant begin to see my own reality


Details | Acrostic | |

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!


Details | Ballade | |

The fear of life

The fear of life.

For nine months in warm sweet world
I float there peacefully
Then cast into that birth canal
It kind of frightens me
I feel I’m suffocating
And I don’t know what it is
Too soon I enter crazy world
Far from the gardens bliss.

As light comes shining everywhere
The panic settles in
This world is filled with action
And so much awful din
I feel like I’m in trouble
Yet there’s naught that I can do
It seems this place is crazy
That I’ve been cast into.

Then as I grow from babyhood
And listen to the lies
That all these madmen tell me
Cause they’re not very wise
It seems that something’s wrong with me
My life it feels off key
So the only question on my mind
Is ‘What is wrong with me???’


Details | Elegy | |

Where are you

You flourished and blurred
like a spark on wind

Gracefully and quickly like a frightened hind
in pursuit of light

You harvested through bushy meadows
taken by blight

In struggle with plight
had you lost your might

And gave out
although never you gave up.

Where are you?
For you must be still there.

For I still can feel you
somewhere in the air.


Details | Verse | |

Home of the Slaves

Land of the free
Home of the slaves
The blood, sweat and tears of my ancestors resonate
Amongst the soil where they were slain
I’m hearing their struggle
I’m feeling their pain
I can’t imagine being forced to part from my family
All for massa’s gain
So I pay homage to those who promoted change

People like every slave who tried to escape
Nat Turner, Ms Carlotta, Harriet Tubman
And the safe houses who were in accord
And peg leg Joe with his song
Follow the drinking gourd.

People like, the disregarded - those thrown overboard
And who was dismissed and defamed
The ones who were stripped of their soul, their pride, their names

The list could go on  
The full will never be told
So I pay homage to others who were bold
Like John Brown, The Freedom Riders, Sojourner Truth
Ida B Wells, Phyllis Wheatley, Maya Angelou, 
Langston Hughes and Charles Drew

George Washington Carver, Ruby Bridges
Booker T Washington and Mary McCleod Bethune
Charles Houston, Ralph Bunche, Fredrick Douglass
WEB Dubois, Paul Robeson, Ralph Abernathy
Benjamin Banneker, Marcus Garvey and Crispus Attucks
Who’s death by the way
Symbolized the American lie
You cant declare the rights of all men
While the people of African decent rights get denied
But still we rise

Thanks to Dr Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, 
The Black Panthers, the Buffalo Soldiers and Tuskegee Airmen
None who were showed any love
Yeah it’s an uphill battle, 
But obviously greatness can be done.

We can rise above this stigma 
That blacks are lazy and daunting
That our worth is null and void 
And in essence minus nothing
And of all the names mentioned 
And the greatness of their successes
No one has been able to erase the evil transgressions of a racist mind
And once you have experienced just a taste of it
It changes your perception of time
The oppression beats like the drum on the chariot
Of when it was finally time to escape to freedom
It's mine


Details | Free verse | |

Final Adieu

Final Adieu

Let another sun set,
Let another flower wilt,
Let another autumn cast its gloom,
Let another tear role,
As ye part, and bid
The final adieu.

Suyash Saxena
St. Stephen’s college


Details | Senryu | |

The Subtle Knife

Beg for sadness, end
Fighting, a castrated peace
Open cuts, betray

©Drake J. Eszes

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." -Carlin


Details | Light Poetry | |

A Fairy Tale

In a land, far away, once upon a time
An ancient place, deep in mystical forests
There lived a sickly old man
The years had passed and he was but an empty shell

Even he had no memories of who he used to be
But now, in the forest, he breathed his bitterness
A small barren one room cabin
His only possession, his grumpy voice

The town, further down the hill
Was to be his only detested outing
Each month the voyage,  a barter for rations
Chopped wood, for his meager means

The children would taunt and tease
This smelly aberration to their playful days
And toss pebbles and stones
What do you mutter, you ragged old man?

He pictured them in a pot of stew
Yet no smile would he spend even on this thought
And off he went back up the hill, his bitterness too
The echo’s of laughing children, now but a distant taunt

He grew older, as did his bitterness
Year by year, and like a curse he lived
Certainly not of his choosing
Almost not hearing the village sneers

One day the men elders where called away
Kings declare wars, but it’s the villagers who do battle
Times became dark, who lived who died, no one was sure
The village children wept for their fathers

The old mans monthly pilgrimage to the village
Was met with sad infant stares
His mutterings now no concern of theirs
When off in the distance, beating drums and horses hooves

Soldiers of terror, pillaged and burned
The fires and haze, arrows and swords
The villagers ran in into the forests deep
Save for some of the children, confused and dazed

The old man stood in the midst of it all
And fearing nothing, his soul long dead
The children behind him, with fear and dread
He lifted a fallen sword and felled a horsemen 

The a second, a third, in vengeance did come
And he felled them too, no fear in his eyes
The others retreated, their loot in tow
Only the angel of death, left with the wind

The old man, fell to the ground
Surrounded by children, staring in shock
They carried him home, his frown, and all
And stoked his fire, and laid him to rest

When he woke the next morning
All the children were there
With smiles, be dammed, what did he care?
They chattered and praises his heroic acts

They truly saw, the beauty hidden so deep
This old man saved them, his bravery noble
His silence, and rudeness, they ignored it all
And a little boy, with wonder, said thank you grumpy

Well, against his will, a smile did appear
This little one, taken so, thought him so dear
And day by day, the children returned
And he told them stories he had long forgotten

In the forest, up in the trees
Two angel fairies, where singing in the breeze
Looking down and over the cabin
And filled with joy, for an old soul was revived

The old man, spent his days, telling stories and teaching
The children learned the ways of their past
And the old man, who once was dead
Now knew the meaning of all life ahead

The village rebuilt and returned to routine
Honored the old man, once unwashed and unseen
The children grew older, the old man passed on
And now he sits in a tree and sings in the breeze


Details | Narrative | |

My Hidden Fear

People are my weakness and hidden fear
I just feel that some words they say set me in tear
For example I gave a person a smile one day and they gave me a glare
I did not know that smiling in the world today cause people to stare
These types of stare gave me chills down my spine a feeling that made me blind
Why? why is my weakness the people who are very unkind
Hiding is all I can do when people give me a unkind view
I get to a point that my fear seems to wonder and stew
People are who they are and what should I even do
I don't understand that they are evil and some times nice too
My hidden fear are people just because they are always around
That is no argument and my feeling are perfectly sound
The hate builds up in my mind, but does not bother, how my heart feel
I learned to undergo a change that my feelings become like steel
Hard as it should be in situations needed I forget how to use it
So it becomes my weapon and it is to some people heartless just a bit
My hidden fear is what I see in people today
They harm others and they think it is okay
That is why I fear my feelings for others at times because it is so confusing
My hidden fear is some what bad and some what a blessing


Details | Narrative | |

A Soul Awakened

The warm light calls me
And all the people who cries for thee
I raise my hand in this abyss
Only to make one wish
To float among the others
With all my sisters and brothers
I call out for forgiveness with passion
I take their pain into myself for this occasion
The moment that I see the sky
I will not look back and cry
My body is laying still
People standing by it with a chill
The air gets dense with sadness
I would not think of it less
Some people look up and down
To see the light hit the ground
Some can vision the uplifting feeling they see
One soul that has been and always be
It is special to notice such aberration 
And that might be how souls are awaken


Details | Free verse | |

Girl Rising

Based on a true story from a television documentary on Human Trafficking...an international crime with participants from a broad spectrum of society...occuring on a daily basis. I have only seen documentaries on the trafficking of young girls between the ages of 5 and above!! Law enforcers, it seems are fighting a losing battle against the men and women who sell and enslave young girls and I have no doubt, young boys as well.

Somewhere this day on planet earth
A Mother-to-be, while in labor, cries
Not so much for the mounting pain
Nor the fear of possible death
So many fears for the future…
“What lies ahead in the coming years?
What “fate” will meet my child?”
And added to all her heightened fears is…
Will she be there to protect her child?

Those dark years have now passed into decades
When Tanya walked the shadowy streets of the city at late night 
While kids her age slept peacefully in their beds
They made her dress up so she’d looked twenty one
Days were spent locked in a room, under watchful eyes
She was fed cheap fast food to her young heart’s content
Soon she'd lose all hope of liberation
This was the second man she had been sold to
And after a while she’d adapt to the situation 

Still fresh in her mind was that last day at school
In her backpack was her favorite teddy bear
Her Mother had chosen to believe her step-father again
Now that her twelfth birthday would be in a month 
As no one cared, she decided to run away
While at the bus station she met this “nice” couple
Who listened to every word she spoke
They promised her a ride to any place she wished
And she’d always wanted to see Disney land

“Maybe, she thought, it’d be a birthday treat”
 However, that would be another promise broken 
Weeks dragged on and they bought her “stuff” 
Although treated well, sometimes she still felt alone
Then one day came the grown up clothes and make up
That night her innocence was stolen once more
Later she’d try to make an escape
Only to be caught and tied to the bed post
‘Make it easy on yourself and accept your “fate”, she was told

That was years ago, although it seems like yesterday,
When arrested by a new officer on the vice squad
Who saw the flaw in the picture before him
The pimp gave no reasonable answer to the simple question
‘Why are you parked late at night on the street corner with a minor?’
 
Looking back over the years, she came to conclude that “Fate” is just another word, made up to cast aside blame; when we do not want to see the path we’ve chosen which has led us to our present state
When Pilate symbolically washed his hands, though he had power in that moment to act..
When there before him stood truth and innocence, 
Yet, he chose to make a comfortable bed for his conscience

Today, Tanya is a college graduate and a Mother who has vowed not to leave anything to “fate”. She’d teach her children to take responsibility for the choices they make… 
She would teach them that no one is of lesser value than another..
 Male or female; black or white, all hues; rich or poor 
All have a God given right to live free!
~*~
8/03/13
For:  Richard's "Girl Rising" Contest

(3rd Place Win)


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | I do not know? | |

Well how do you feel

In high school everything changes
Teachers, friends, you, 
“That’s just life” they say,
And they never stop to ask
“Well, how do you feel?”

And your friends leave, and your grades decrease,
And your teachers begin to worry,
And they make you see a shrink,
But they never stop to ask,
“Well, how do you feel?”

The sky starts to crumble,
And the tears begin to fall,
And music and hoodies become your best friends,
And they never stop to ask,
“Well, how do you feel?”

And the tools come out.
And the objects fall apart,
And you reach for the closest one,
And the ask, finally,
“Well, how do you feel?”

But by now it’s too late.
Your time is up, your blood’s run out,
Your scars show for the world to see,
Cause they asked too late,
“Well, how do you feel?”

“She was so young” they all say,
But really you were old.
You’d seen so much and hurt so much,
It was time for you to go.

So you picked up the pills and washed them down
And grabbed the blades and cut
And when they finally noticed you weren’t around
It was too late you were gone.

They found your letter on the bed
And read it out at school
“You asked to late, but I don’t blame you.”
And your friends were moved to tears. 

In your tree house in the yard
They found you pale as snow
Your eyes closed, a smile on your face
And they realized you were gone.

They roll up your sleeves and roll up your pants
And scream at what they see
Lines, and lines, and lines of cuts
Some healed and some not.

And they realized they should have asked in the beginning
How you felt that is, cause, 
Honestly you didn’t, 
You didn’t feel anything at all. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Friends With Benefits

Living my life on the Dole*, Because my Mum told me so, Interview at ‘McDonalds’, but that Tyrant told me "No!", See, we're a family with pride, Don't sell fries at super-size, But where's the pride, If I can't provide, For my own style of life, Spent my money from the *Brew, On Irn-Bru**, I swear that’s true, Dreary, damp & cold, This black hole, I call home, Only 'joy' I get in life’s the 'stick' I use for X-BOX, And I aint got a tumble dryer so I step with wet socks, Work-shy, but money-hungry, Flats cramp-sized & pretty ugly, Arrogant guy, Until I woke up and realised that no-one loves me. Brain melts to slush, in this non-testing occasion, ‘Gain Work’ is a must, for a teenage Caucasian, Nothing separating me, From drug-addled Dads of three, No payday, Just giro day, No jobs… great, Keep trying mate, No end in sight as unemployment rises, Government gives you cash like they were handing out prizes, Where’s my reason to go out & work? My motivation, Its pleasing no-one now, this escalated situation, Experience is something that you earn, not that you’re born with, Inexperienced forever, if I don’t get employed quick, I don't enjoy sitting on my broken couch for hours, I'm your Friend with Benefits, can only wash with cold showers. (*Common British phrases for Jobcentre or Jobseekers Allowance Benefit) (**Famous Scottish soft drink mass produced around Britain)


Details | Lyric | |

Forever Changed

June 18, 2013 our world was Forever Changed
We where over halfway home
When we got the call from our baby sister

Said we need to get back home
We need to come as fast as we can drive
Mom really needs us
Something’s wrong with Daddy
The whole way we drove 80
Hoping & Praying we’d make it in time

Our Family & Friends were weeping 
By the time we got to his side
We knew our Daddy had been taking
And our hearts they were breaking
We never got to say Goodbye
We each softly kissed that man
We four sisters climbed in his bed 
We laid down beside him 
And cried just like babies
For our world was Forever Changed 
 
 


Details | List | |

FACTORY FARM

WARM
SAFE
GROWING
BORN
SHOCK
FEAR
PANIC
MOTHER?
DARK
FEAR
PANIC
PAIN
LAMB
PIG
COW
BORN
TAKEN
TO THE FACTORY
TO THE SLAUGHTER
TO THE TABLE
INTO THE GREEDY MOUTHS
GOODBYE LAMBS, PIGS AND COWS


Details | Couplet | |

Mr Teddy bear

shhhhh!!!! I am laying here under the bed.
Daddy is drunk and he hit mommy in the head
I can see her eyes open, but she doesn't blink.
I am safer here hiding with you I think.

Are my legs showing? I don't want him to see.
 what? Do you think he will do that to me?
Mommy was screaming, I am sure someone heard.
We will be safer right here, if we don't say a word.

I know you are! I am scared too!
but, you hold me, and I will hold you.
I hear the police, but don't make a move.
Daddy is acting like he has a point to prove.

I know it's gross the blood is running on our arms,
but stay here and stay quite and we won't be harmed.
Just close your eyes, and we won't be afraid,
Just until after the cops do their raid.

I know, I forgot to put on my shoes!
but I just got under here to try and find you,
I heard daddy come in stomping  and screaming all about.
Mommy pushed me under and said " don't you dare come out!"

That's when I heard the slap and saw her feet try to run,
but it was no use, because he hit her with the gun.
Oh no! How will she ever get all that blood from her hair?
Maybe she will clean us too, Mr. Teddy Bear.

                                     Katei
All Rights Reserved


Details | Free verse | |

Glisten in the Moonlight

Your glorious emerald eyes 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Delight dances in the water
I watch it joyfully
You are set free from the cage...
You're like a dove soaring in the sky
You are the rain...
drizzling down in ecstasy 
A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection...
When you caress me... I'm relieved... 
From the stress that forced me in chains
I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow 
We're glistening in the moonlight 
I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us
We're glistening in the moonlight
For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy 
I saw at first glance the dark side of you
Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon 
We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye...
We'll wave a greeting at the moon! 
We glisten in the moonlight...
What if I was as handsome as the lion...
Roaring with pride and pure courage
What if we were glistening in the moonlight?
Would it bring health to our bones tonight?
Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight?
Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight?
Would we be shimmering like a candlelight?
We're glistening in the moonlight... (6)
Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh...
We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star
I feel the coolness run down my fingers...
We're glistening in the moonlight
You're the dandelions in the fields
You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday
When you kiss me, I live my dreams
We glisten in the moonlight
In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal 
I roam inside of your illuminating maze 
Glow on... sunshine... 
Glow on...sunshine...
Glisten in the moonlight...
Listen to the truth and rub it in
You are ravishing like the sunset
But you're ascending while I'm descending
I feel extremely guilty
I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight
You're glistening in the moonlight (6) 
Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh
You're glistening in the moonlight (4)
We go our own way
I wish we can glisten like the moon
Glisten like the sun 
There's a dream concealed inside of me...
Reveal your light and pour it upon me
You glisten in the appealing moonlight
While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams
Of gliding across the horizon 
You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction
While I'm below you... 
Your emerald green eyes
Stared me down like a hawk...
Your emerald eyes
Gaze down at me genuinely...
I wish we could flee together in reality...
That could be a possibility
To glisten in the moonlight in glee
We were glistening in the moonlight (3)
But that was only a dream...
I'll pray that it turns into a reality
We were glistening in the moonlight 
Now, I've misplaced my delight...
Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?


Details | Concrete | |

Drug Rivalry

Drugs dont have rivals, only those into drugs have rivals 
Money in a place of poverty living lonely needing sophisticated money for simple survival
 sitting lost in a culture trapped in another dark drug addicted silo 
People say this place is one of the darkest drug infested places I know 
too much of us down here or up there are trapped in self-inflicted drug addicted denial
 We sometimes too high or drunk or just plain stupid too even pay attention to our own child
 A life caught up in drugs running crazy can get too wild 
Criminal cases racked against a place in one crtain file 
Drugs aint got foes or enemies until we make up our own lies though 
Doing anything to get high over friendships is when the drugs themselves become rivals


Details | Narrative | |

The Woman In White

It was a cold and rainy night.
The stars were shining bright.
It seemed as if the world was at a pause and not a person was in sight.
I sat quietly in my car, 
the sound of music I heard blasting from a far.
I opened my door,
stepped out slowly and looked around.
Now suddenly the music stopped,
not a word is heard, not even a sound.
I turned my head, looked over my shoulder,
I saw a woman running.
She was wearing a white gown.
I couldn't help but wonder why this woman running
flaunted such a frown.
I followed her footsteps,
I listened for the sound.
Running through the darkness,
one question came to mind,
Who would leave this woman?
Who would be so heartless?
How can someone leave her when she is so obviously distraught?
Abruptly a sound was heard.
I came to a stop.
I listened closely.
It was a gunshot.
Now fearful I stood.
I began to run as fast as I could.
I ran so fast, I could hear my heart beating.
I came upon my car and noticed a woman bleeding.
She was gasping for air.
Someone had shot her and left her to die there.
It was as if they didn't even care.
She reached for my hand,
whispered softly to me
"never trust a man"
At that moment her hand dropped.
I knew her heart had stopped.
I looked at her white gown now dripping red.
I I cried to myself and pondered what she had said.
This could be me.
I could be lying here dead.
I will remember her words always.
They will haunt me for the rest of my days.
This moment I will never forget.
No man should ever be such a threat.

This was the day my life would change.
From this day on I would never be the same.
The lesson I learned here,
never have such fear.
Fear that will keep me from being free.
I learned that I can be happy just being me.


Details | Ballad | |

Antigone

I am the face of misery
My life, a dissonance of autumn and spring,
The years are written in the same
Lugubrious, nostalgic grey
How can it be the author to blame?
I cannot scream this all away…
Burn nor Bleed this all away…
To Death I am Ordained

Lacuna ever growing
With Velvet sheets of life flowing
Aeons apart of my "royalty"
Under the mask the cannot see...
Can you dispel this tragedy:
Antigone - Epiphany failing

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

No words of hope
No words of hate
Do I have Lenore to send to me:
The sordid child of Thebes
Caught In the longest nightmare
life - the slowest way to die

I know this is my life 
But I'm not under control
under the mask the will see
Just Another Human

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

Can you dispel my life; this tragedy?
Can you control the storm in my mind?
I'm asking you: can you rid me
Of The Curse of Antigone?


Details | Rhyme | |

Pay The Cost

                                                                    
They came so undone
To a journey not yet begun
United forces,shackled feet
City life from a back street

They all lived too fast
Thought they were unsurpassed
Visious circles,lives incomplete
Til they faced lifes`just a big cheat

Inside my heart is breaking
Something slowly building..aching
We`ve not yet lived and learned
Until the day we mess up and get burned

The urge to be free and wild
Led them to a dark side of life..reviled
Ultimate freedom forever lost
Now they`re let alone to pay the cost


A.Ertsland
June 23rd 2012

Inspired after seeing the streetchildren in Romania.Seeking shelter from the
cold down in the sewer systems beneath the streets..The youngest of them couldn`t had been much more 5 years old..


Details | Ballade | |

The Hunter

The hunter

I saw a man once on TV
He was hunting grizzly bear
Then bear, he got the upper hand
And blood was everywhere
That man was in an awful state
But I lacked in sympathy
You live by sword, you die by sword
That’s just the way it be.

I knew a man, a fisherman
He hunted for big fish
But when his boat did over turn
He never got his wish
Cause big shark came and took his life
And Karma, it was done
It seems that this time hunter lost
And mother nature won.

It seems some folk are low on soul
And only live to kill
I have no sympathy for these
And nor I ever will
When the game gets turned around
They’ve only they to blame
Because they gained their pleasure from
This heartless killing game.


Details | Personification | |

Circus Life

i see your stupid faces
watching me with glee
i perform these stupid tricks
but oh how i long to be free
to roam the jungle once again
to be with my pride
my family, my friends
look at him with whip in hand
could grind his bones into sand
i feel the sting across my face
with just one swipe
i can erase
this little man with whip in hand
with these teeth
with just one bite
i can end this monster's life
would love to see your faces then
you'd never come to the circus again
to feel the warm sun on my mane
now only loneliness, boredom and pain
to be the king of the jungle once more
to not be stricken when i roar
but now i sleep behind these bars
with the smell of pollution and the noise of cars


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Confused

Confused

If there were thing's I couldn't understand,you was one of them.
Going back and forth with one another,like the wind and does in the howls 
of winter.You'd follow me to escape your own reality,only not knowing your shattering mine.You tell me to be me there was a time when I was me and you couldn't stand it like it was looking into the eye's of a demon.How should I respond? Running away only brings more then I can offer.
Now I'm drifting and everything left me,I'll suffer the venom of past and the reoccurring pains.
From the tell's of literature to the mounts of the great wars have I been able to tell just from their looks what they thought that very moment but as I look into your eye's does it not only confuse me it refuses to tell me the truth,why am I looking into my own eyes?
Let me touch your face.Let me look into your eye's.Let me see the truth which is clouded and locked away.Let me see your feelings fall from your eye's.
Burned. Chain. Shackled. Scared. Tortured. Entangled with lies.and yet harbors no hate toward anyone then yourself.How much do you loathe yourself? To the point your a sacrificial  offering of your own whim's?
As I search for the truth,I see the many heartbreaks and the lies been told to help but nothing prevails. Yet you look at me looking for the same thing.
We're both confused? We're both in agony? We're the same? 
This isn't right.This is a lie.I don't wish to see anymore.
I won't lose to this,nor bow down and be your toy.Yet when I'm close to you,it never cold.
Hold my hand as I fight with myself. Never mind hold me closer until neither of us is cold.Don't lie to me with those pleading eye's,that are like dark's as coal and beautiful as an onyx.
Let's be ourselves.Let's shut ourselves away from this world.Let's search for our own truth.But if there only fear in your mouth,then there's lies.I shall grab your heart and I will hold it like it was the last gem on earth.So scream,hate,and be gently.
I'm confused.Your confused.I will listen,if you will talk.
Have you ever heard these words before? I never have but I will say them to you,you who has the same pleading eye's as me.When we're so much alike yet so different to the point it confusing.


Details | Free verse | |

My Future Generation

I can act insane
But DO NOT 
Make me feel worthless

I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation

Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee 

I can act like an
Adult, but I’d 
Prefer to have joy…

Not stress…
That piles upon us in our 
Everyday lives

Being childlike is

A rare beauty – 

No one prizes it…

No one came across it…

In this lifetime…

I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my 
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine

Renew my young heart
Give me the ability 
To kill the old man…

I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified 
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs  
By my future generation

I beg of you – 
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy

I’ll still have pieces of a child in me

And pass it on to my future generation…


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Witnesses To Sinners



I can't hear the words as they come from my mouth
I can't hear the screams as they work their way out
As I write all is seen is a blur and blank moment and
Once recovered sensed the words were written,not 
Even a look to see what was written only to know it
Was there.Sleepless night,taunt  filled faces horde my
Dreams.Have this made me fall so low no longer am I
Am I able to stand on my own to feet.How many times 
Will you make me cry before claiming only to being a 
Witness in a crime,your crime. Putting on that face
Working the crowds with amazing easily,how I hate you
Yes all the thing I think about revolve around you.
How many times have I witness myself wound my self
With your blade? As though under a spell doing as order
Without a cry to the world what made me so diligent ?
But no longer can you be a witness,No longer can I be 
A witness to these crimes that been committed.Be us both
Sinners be us both lovers be that we both be cursed 
We shall witness our sins become whole and the love in
Which we share spread further and further like the flames 
Of hades. May there be peace for sinners in the next world.
We are both witnesses and at the same time 
We are both sinners one day to become consumed by our
Own darkness how far will we fall until that moment comes?
May we be good may we be bad may we fall may we live may 
May we die or carry on we are the Witnesses We are the Sinners
To this world and the next.


Details | Double Dactyl | |

life

Life is worth it
When I live for you
It’s how I know that this is love proven true
But there you fly now in the sky
Showing me that differences and flaws
Is coexistence in each other
Celebrate them don’t use them as a weakness
Because in doing that you show weakness in yourself
Show some respect to them 
For they are to be cared for 
Then why is it no one ever does
Do they not see the pain? 
With every dying cuss 
So let the pain engulf me 
Teach my eyes to see
Let a fallen angel come to curse me
Let my cuts come to bleed 
Evil engulfing my broken heart yet falling deep in love 
When everything turns to turmoil 
I turn to my angel from above 
Let my heart come to boil
In the ashes of my innocence 
Letting myself go until I fully reach out to fellow brethren s 
Praying with no feeling I can feel myself slip away
I’m falling yet falling apart 
 Without the slightest of delays 
Birth was a mistake and yet I cannot come to die
Was it true that I am meant to live?  
A man who only knows to cry 
I cannot give
The light has forsaken my cold and darkened heart
For who am I to live 
Cold and fruitless moon why have you forsaken me
Does it bring you joy to see that you are breaking me
Listen to the cold and broken winds 
Nothing can ever beat it
Nor can I defend


Details | Light Poetry | |

Poetic PRESCRIPTION:

                               NO REFILLS---Dr. P. Soupenstein
                               Rx *7563287      BEC 11/11/11      
Seems to me,
what you need 
for healing this condition...
is something real
you can feel
to ease this mean affliction

Patient please
accept from me
this poetry prescription:

      ( <_____PUSH & TURN_____> )

Take ONE positive poem
Read ORALLY 2 times BY MOUTH -----
Every 4-6 HOURS AS NEEDED for the pain 

Blues and belly aches will dissipate
resulting in healthy energy gains 

                  WARNING!!!
-Alcohol may intensify the effect of being drowsy 
attempting to read while operating machines... 
will cause you to drive lousy.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | Narrative | |

VIOLATED

 HELP! HELP!
 She is sinking,
 Sinking into the abyss of despair.
 Her brain is striken And her mind is stifled.
 She has been enervated.
 Her integrity is being manipulated,
 Irrationality acts as spring board to moral decadence,
 Opacity then entangles her efficiency
 While her eminence sleeps.
 She became vulnerable.
 Poor thing, she is raped, maimed and looted.
 Has she not been violated?
 Does her plight warrants a revolution?
 However, she demonstrated.
 She shrilled,
"No!", "No!"
 She pleaded with her predators.
 All these were to no avail
 Her future seems gloomy
 As the predators succeeded in orchestrating yet another tragedy.
 Engulfed in this evident realm of adversity.
 She sits and ponders
 With tears flooding her miserable cheeks.
 She then cried,
 HELP! HELP!
 I am sinking,
 Sinking into the abyss of despair.


Details | Narrative | |

Physically and Mentally Abuse

I was born in a world of poverty and soiled life of a third world country
The way I lived till I was five years of age was walls of boundary
These walls had towers of guards that had no heart or care
If a child would try to climb the wall they lose their life I swear

Father had drank and threatened my mother with a knife
My father lost his job and wife and that was the hardship of life
He stopped my mother from taking off with me in her arm
Hoping that my father would ignore and left me be with no harm

When my father went off to drink one night and came home with rage
My brothers stood by my crib and took a beating that set up the next stage
My father had woken up to three scared children half starved and in pain
His final words as he walk away from the orphanage gate live life do not go insane

I was still a baby in the orphanage; the caretakers did not really care about the babies
They stole items and materials those wicked men and maternal evil ladies
They starved all the babies because it cost a lot to keep them alive
As a child of that age I could feel the sins and greed that gave out bad vibes

I was ignorant about what I drank and ate, as I see white maggots move in my bottle
As I see them move I thought about how they were playing and some were hostel
They ate each other to keep each other alive in a manner that took me by surprise
In the back round I hear others throwing things with sounds of painful cries

I got very strong at a young age I was able to start pulling myself up over the cage
My feelings were to see my brothers with strong lungs that I cried out of rage
My two brothers came to see me and sneak food into my crib
The caretaker would find the food in my hands as they grabbed it and hit me on my ribs

As painful as it was I kept eating the food with blood in my mouth as it was instinct
I sometimes laid in my crib dazed and confused with smell of death so distinct
With all my might I kept myself strong and climb the small wall
I finally was old enough to get out of the building and I could hear my brothers call

With tears of joy with short legs that ran as fast as my heart
I ran to my brothers arms and held their hands to have a new start
I grew stronger everyday but more things came into my life in a manner of dismay
If my brothers stay by my side I could smile and everyday their would be okay



Details | I do not know? | |

Family Matters

In the attic, above wooden floor,
through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door,
near the broken window and glass of the sore,
hiding in the shadows,
bloodstains on the wall.

 Number nine,
house at the end of the street,
where lights are low,
where silent never sleep.


Details | Acrostic | |

Wish

Whispering heartache unfolds in torture
Incisions decorate the outside of you
See the river of lost hope unfold in a pond of red
How many will know you are dead


Details | Free verse | |

The Devil Walks

The devil walks 
gets tired
and sits,
and while the devil sits
the devil picks up a tired fruit
rotting, and with jagged nails he peals
slowly, the tender fruit bruising
and he tastes it, smacking his dried lips
and the devil eats
decayed fruit and sour wine	                 nothing lush and sating
then the devil rests
and resumes his walk,
and later the devil sits again
rubs his feat
and goes to bed
and in the morning
he breaks his fast on curses and lies           nothing so filling as figs and nuts
and begin the devil’s walk again,

his walk
on the road our thoughts paved
where all that grows is bad and unwell
to the cross our words built
where flames dance and all is unwell
and he is condemned
upon christening
upon the hearing of his name
and the wobbling of his first steps
to walk a road less traveled,
to be the leader
of our very own crusade
armed with words
against himself
to see him burn,

our crusade of one
and many
on roads first paved upon his birth
to bring the devil down.

The devil walks
The devil eats
and pelted by our stones
He does but sleep
For what we sow
The devil reaps

and there is justice in punishment
there is reward in reckoning
there is bitterness in my mouth
as I say these words
and pity
              the devil
his due.


Details | Free verse | |

Love Hurts - a shanzi

hairy white hands
clenching into fists

jaw tightening quick
I step backwards

his eyes throwing 
sparks my breaK-ing 
nose, my broken heart


7/16/12
For the "Shanzi" contest


Details | Light Poetry | |

Chicken Head

       Chicken Head

       Your a bird, with no wings!
    Your soul is lost and lives in the streets.
     Why sell your body the way you do?
        you least can get your son some new shoes.
     If you going to sell your body,get what you can get.
         You have kids, you need to get a grip.
          Do you really want your daughter to grow up like you?
         To flag down cars for every man that comes threw!
           Why are you selling your last food stamps?
          To pay a cell phone bill that has laped.
      This is no debate, your son lips is cracked from being dehydarted.
     Why do you make them suffer for the things you do?
      Look into their eyes. thats the hatred for you!
         Your baby is crying tears, for you can hear.
               Crying to be loved by you,
            You can really fix the things you do!
   Each child is a gift from God, A bright shining star.
                 Look inside your heart,
    and ask your self is this is what you want to be.
          A chicken head that stay in the streets.
      Ask God for help, when you lay down to sleep.
            Pray the lord your soul to keep.
          If you should die before you wake,
       ask him to help take your kids pain away!
             Some one should decapitate you,
       for all the pain you put your kids threw.
      So stop having kids just for someone eles to raise them.
    I guess it's for the best, because you really don't deserve them!
           They cry for help, they beg of you!
     Your a lost soul, and only God can judge you!
    


Details | Haiku | |

Depression

sealed so deep inside
buried in an wretched soul 
huge fields of friction


©Ellie Daphne van Stralen

HAIKU 101 FOR NEWBIES TO HAIKU AND/OR POETRY SOUP CONTESTS 
Contest Judged: 11/23/2012 12:00:00 AM	
Sponsored by: Charles Henderson

Place	 Poem	 Poet

1	 Depression Ellie Daphne van Stralen


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Resurrection

Secrets are not,
What they ought to be,
They often turn out,
For many to see,

When somewhere deep in the heart,
There is a lingering pain,
Yearning to express distant memories,
Yet need for constraint,

With the knowledge of Armageddon,
Approaching at hand,
Seek delivery from remorse,
Before the end, happen,

Desires to unwind history,
To all where it began,
Express, for relief from,
An unspoken apology, burden;

Expecting to lay in happiness,
When the dark shroud came,
And resurrect from sins,
Judgment and blame,

Yet completely unaware,
The good world’s forgiven,
Only fond remembrances retain,
In memory, “A jolly good person”…

World prays and wishes,
For the time that remains,
Will to re-live the good memories,
Forgetting the Pain.


Details | Free verse | |

My Frozen Reflection, My Changed World

My tusks are sharp, like a warrior's spear.
I see clearly and only feel one thing, fear.
Frozen deep in this field of flattened glass,
I had to watch my unfulfilled dreams pass.
I have always known the snow covered land
that now morphs and changes behind my own,
Innocent eyes. But a weight of a stone, 
that can crush an entire army; then I remain alone.
I feel cold, my spirit sold,
lurking beyond me, rotten and old.
Out of reach, with so much to teach,
jerking to become free, begging for speech,
my young ones, my family shadows,
trapped behind a glacier of gallows,
The temporary apocalypse of merciless ice.
I wish I had warned them.

-Caroline Youngless


Details | Terzanelle | |

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down Terzanelle question ku chaser

December’s cold wind starts to bite
festive are the lights all around
yet children are nowhere in sight

hurry come quick, what is that sound
a bell tolls but what is it for
festive are the lights all around

something evil came through the door
not in song, yet they all fall down
a bell tolls but what is it for

tragedy struck this little town
tiny children hold hands in fear
not in song, yet they all fall down

they can’t comprehend what they hear
school always was a place to play
tiny children hold hands in fear

many angels were born that day
December’s cold wind starts to bite
school always was a place to play
yet children are nowhere in sight

a church bell tolls
as a nation mourns
why did so many fall?


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

The phone rings innocently.
Who is at the other side?
Could be no one then yet a peculiar feeling tells
me it is the bearer of bad news.
Still I answer hoping I am wrong.
My mother is ill, trapped between two worlds; 
the worlds of fear and courage.
My ears hear every word but my mind has created a 
sudden barrier that nothing seems to
penetrate like some sort of
steel web of unwanted denial.
Fear floods my body like a torrent
river flow, eroding strength
and stability.
How much longer can I bare it?
Never it seems but hope still glimmers 
regardless of how dim.
Miles are between us, 
I feel numb and unexpectedly lost.
Where am I?
It’s certainly not here in the presence 
of fallen angels.
The bell of hope strikes a sharp note creating a 
gentle chime awaking my
senses to the news,
they are sharpened making
the fear of loss suddenly
commanding, corrupting my
inner strength making it weak.
I continue to listen all the 
while my body is screaming
in protest.
The voice stopped, I hung up,
the pain and fear never lessened.
Time went by all the while my
mind was constantly in a state
of anguish and grief.
Endless stories were created,
each one worse than the last.
My family begun to shatter like
a broken mirror, reflecting only
the scars of misery and needless
hurt.
Hope still glimmered but appeared
distant and out of reach.
My mind grew tender, endless misery
has eaten away at my last thoughts
of happiness.
The sting of fear created heartache
for the bond between mother and child
was nearly severed,
severed by the hands of
an unwanted deity.
A deity of life itself.



Details | Ballade | |

Sad girl rising


Sad girl rising

Let me tell you about this girl I know
My cousin, this girl be
Her life has been so very sad
But how wonderful is she
She was a wild child, till she married
And had her first born child
When she found out that his brain was damaged
It really drove her wild.

She took the Doctor through the courts
Then fought for ten long years
To get the money she deserved
And she cried so many tears
She gained a million pound at last
To help her with the lad
And yet the damage it was done
And it really drove her mad.

Her and her hubby cared for he
And gave their lives to him
It was a twenty four, seven job
But at times it got real grim
She would do just anything
To make his life more sweet
But when she got that Parkinson’s
She was close on to defeat

But no, she struggled with the odds
And though it’s ten years on
Never does this girl give up
When all her hope seems gone
She smiles, and carries on with courage
Like I’ve never seen before
She’s something kind of wonderful
She’s a hero, that’s for sure.

30 July 2o13 @ 1043hrs.


Details | Lyric | |

Elysium Dream of Love

I close my weary eyes
Holding onto the hope
Of not having to cope
Not a mintue longer
Without you by my side
Not expierencing
The warm look in your eyes
The tingling rush of your finger tips
That would grip my hair tight
To stop you from slipping into the night
Biting  your bottom lip
As a pinch to yourself
To see if it was real
The dream of love we felt
And now that you are gone
I only wish to die
Your image fades from my mind
Sometimes I see it clear,
The sun is skillfully stroking it set in the sky
As my feet float down the road across the tuscan country side
I ever so gently sense the wildy grown wheat
Tickling these troubled lines engraved in the palm of my hand
I playfully pick one out of the land and pluck the grains
I look up and in the distance is where she waits
But there she remains peacefully strolling through the calming field
In a white cotton dress that tails off in the wind and
wearing a small confident smile that makes my yearning heart yield
Whispering in my ear that soon I will make it home
But my Life's journey must continue down this God paved road
I awake with the longing of her, But with so much to do
I need God's strength for one more day to get through


Details | Free verse | |

Words of Life

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out 
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…

**chorus** 
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… 


Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots 
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh…  I’m failing 

*chorus*

I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…

I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…

*Chorus* 

Splintering lies fill your heart 
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… 

*chorus*

Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold

Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares 
Answer our prayers & block out the night 
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight


Details | Lyric | |

It's Not Over

Don’t say it’s all over (cause it’s not)
“Sorry” won’t cover it…so don’t go on your knees and pray for my forgiveness 
Oh baby…don’t listen to the commotion…I’m done taking cover (it’s all for naught)
I’m plummeting in slow motion…into the remorseful pit…I’m plummeting in my nightmare’s abyss

I want to carry you through the night… 
I’m swimming in the ocean of my tears… 
My sodden wings lost its ability of flight…
You've been swimming in your distress for years… 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

I want to remind you to fight the good fight…
My misery pools are brewing inside of my head…
I’m backing away from the light & exploring the night… 
You’re giving in to sleep and I’m wide awake on my bed 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we’re breaking bit by bit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to discover 

Please don’t tell me…oh, don’t tell me…darling!
You’re giving up today… (I beg you to stay, despite your inner pain) 
I’m scared I might erupt – it could be quite startling!
Someday, things will change for the better… (Don’t turn the wrong lane)
I’m waiting for that day to arrive – perhaps it will wash away our dismay…

I promise you a tranquil reality 
I want to stray with you tonight 
I still have hope that He’ll set us free
I was wondering if you could stay the night
Maybe the Lord could grant us 
Pure, incredible delight 

Shut up! Don’t say it...
Don’t even think of it (don’t even ponder it)
Hey! Don’t say it’s all over…though we've plunged into our own pit 
‘Cause there’s more treasure to gather…


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Try It

A single kiss from thy lovely lips,
so sweet and so divine,
yet I taste posion upon your tongue.

Your beauty so glorious,
like a blooming rose so beautiful,
yet, why do mine eyes go blind
in the sight that you walk along with another?

Yes you, walk with another,
arm under arm,
lips touching lips in romantic kisses,
it makes my blood boil,
for mine lips are dry.

For mine eyes have seen your glory,
yet no one here listens to my story.
You are evil, yes you are,
don't try to deny,
Listen to a man of experience,
you might as well save some expense.

I write of our long romantic walks
we took together, under the shade of olive trees,
how we went apple picking in autumn time,
and made love in the foyer.

Nomore of that sweet and passionate love,
nomore silent kisses in the night,
when the wind blows hard against the branches,
that tape violently on my windowpane. 
Nomore somber tears shed, when you got sick,
and nomore warm embraces when you shed tears of betrayal.

Betrayal now is a game played by a fool,
such as I,
to think I'd have a happy life with you?
Huh, only a fool would think such a thing,
but now I sit, looking at the foyer,
where we once made sweet, passionate love,
nomore will that foyer be filled with exotic pleasure.
Nomore will you be filled with smiles and exotic pleasure.
I've done my job, as a good man shall do,
now pack your things and get of my stage,
the spotlight yawns for anew,
and the audience grows tired and restless of you.

Now I live life anew,
you too shall see life in new eyes,
walking hand and hand with the blond, blue eyed devil
you call your own.
Shall he take one kiss from your lips,
and die of the posion he tastes on your tongue,
shall he go blind, when he sees your true, black beauty?
He will see the ugly soul, covered up by white rags,
and cheap makeup,
and then he will come to me,
and shake my hand in condolence
and say, "You were right!"

Now you are all alone,
looking for another, as you did many times before,
Now you are alone, walking an open road,
spying on another,
fear of being alone.
Now, you see when you play games with a good man's emotions,
don't try it,
because a good man is not meant to be toyed with.


Details | Rhyme | |

AN EQUAL SHARE OF VICTORY AND DEFEAT-Rhyming Chant

An equal share of victory and defeat...
greeting happiness, summoning sadness!
An equal share of victory and defeat...
rejoicing in light, trembling in darkness!


How we live and age depends on circumstance and time...
an equal share of victory and defeat!
Youth is pure glory when the body is not weak... 
an equal share of victory and defeat!
Before sixty we were vibrant, now frail and ready to die...
an equal share of victory and defeat!


An equal share of victory and defeat...
greeting happiness, summoning sadness!
An equal share of victory and defeat...
rejoicing in light, trembling in darkness!


Taste rain and feel sunshine, ignore wrinkles, age spots and such...
an equal share of victory and defeat!
Leave gold and everything behind, it's troublesome  for the rich...
an equal share of victory and defeat! 
Have we lived fearlessly or covered by a sheet?  
An equal share of victory and defeat!


An equal share of victory and defeat...
greeting happiness, summoning  sadness!
An equal share of victory and defeat...
rejoicing in light, trembling in darkness!


What we accomplish through life remains bright or bleak... 
an equal share of victory and defeat!
Gray hair means wisdom, neglect the puffiness under the  eyes...
an equal share of victory and defeat!
We came into existence to lead meaningful, not purposeless lives...
an equal share of victory and defeat! 


An equal share of victory and defeat...
greeting happiness, summoning sadness!
An equal share of victory and defeat...
rejoicing in light, trembling in darkness!







Details | Musaddas | |

JESUS WITH MY FAITH I SEND THIS PLEA

written 14th July 2013


My sorrow, is overwhelming my 'entire' soul
 for in my jaded life, my dear "Nath" would be the last breath taken away
Why does God, continue taking those that play the most 'critical' roll
 my life is 'never' going to endure, any hint of ease.. no way

Heart heavy, loss and pain all consuming me 'again'
 God, I plea with you leave me those that I 'love' these day's
It's become 'that' part of the year, my Nathan was taken due to 'my' curse
 tears flood my entire being, why do you always insist I live entirely 'alone'

Sorrow just in this year now at 'half point' has finally taken the 'full' toll
 I no longer see, any thing as my destiny that I shall 'exude'
When, will it 'ever' be my turn, I wait..to become the next called to heaven
 "am" I not worthy, of your abundant grace?

You, seem to take 'everyone' I 'entrust' to a faraway land
 Nathan Reide' these are my tears containing, the 'most sorrow' I've ever let fall
But, every memory of you and me, stop all of the pain
 just, another pain and despair to add to my life's endurance 'till'

I long, for peace, joy and 'any' kind of life would do me,
 at this point of my life, I can not take anymore, seriously, lighten up on me!
I fear in new friends, how long..before you conclude they too will end
 You bless me with a loving husband, mother, father, niece
 
When.. do you think you might, 'let' me see them... this  is my plea
 returning me back into church, I am in need off being blessed
How 'come' you did take that away from me? 
 faith, in me stayed 'strong' you alone know the extent

I need to move 'now' I have stayed still, and achieved what I think I was to 
 poet, I assume that was 'my reason' why you kept here
With that now in full swing
 can you now spread my wings

You are 'overpowering' my soul, and I now do as I am told
  patience, never was my best strength, have I 'not' proved to you
I'm completely at your mercy, you are the entity that drives the heart of me
 with all that, I need a break between all these sorrowful times, 'may I now move'

This is the deepest of despair, I have ever endured, please see me through
 I am more than 'positive' I WILL NOT make it through, another emotional trial
Not to be left here, still bleeding the way I still am...
 darkness has taking more of my light I'm loosing all sight, of who is me...

My heart full of anguish and grief, depression takes her advantage, of the ease
 I have nothing worth finding joy or enlightenment anyway, she will have me...
I don't have any strength to even consider the thought of even trying this time
 in defending myself against her this time
She only win's by default...

Denise Hopkins


Details | Rhyme | |

My Sins

My Sins – Zamreen Zarook

Oh God you are so gracious,
Am a guy who have done since in capacious,
At times I have being as a carnivorous,
But it charged ages to identify as dangerous.

Since are being committed behind the screen,
Even it started at my thirteen,
Mirrors used to say that I am evergreen,
Whereas my since were always unseen.

In enormous number I have executed,
But for every count, high privacy was aborted,
Simply because of your blessings we are bracketed,
If not, we are already being quoted.

Oh God, I understood your kindness,
Here after I won’t commit since in others absence,
However much chances I get to access,
I will always have heaven as my address.


Details | Lyric | |

Chasing A Dream

To what end can I chase a dream
You know it would seem 
To be insane…………
Never knowing what's real but still feeling the pain

I can reach for the flowers in bloom 
But they're all consumed
The fires' to deep - I just wish I could sleep

I look to the moon for answers but she just smiles
I don't have a clue - I've got too many miles

To what end can I chase a dream 
You know it would seem 
To be insane…………
Never knowing what's real but still feeling the pain

I cry out in the night - but the echo hurts me
It breaks me down into broken dreams
I run for the door but its no longer open - to me
I cover my eyes...... but still I can see

To what end can I chase a dream 
You know it would seem 
To be insane…………
Never knowing what's real but still feeling the pain

©2013C.L.Baker


Details | Ballade | |

The stress thats in the air

The stress that’s in the air

I saw two people quarrelling
Two neighbours these two were
They were screaming, cursing, yelling
It did the whole street stir
Such anger I had never seen
Not ever in my life
Some people’s minds to me, it seems 
Are filled with so much strife.

I remember times when I was young
I lived in south east London
And where I was, was a real rough place
Where many came undone
But still the neighbours stuck together
And they’d treat each other right
But now it seems all trust has gone
And folk just want to fight.

It seems that everyone’s uptight
And no one seems to care
About those ones outside their lot
There’s distrust everywhere
But can they really help themselves?
The stress comes with the breeze
And floats around from soul to soul
As it robs the  each of ease.

10 September 2013 @ 1925hrs.


Details | Senryu | |

'For Colored Girls --- Toxic Love'


his love so toxic his dream became her nightmare distraught mother begs helpless onlookers suspended from the window he just let them go he killed their children helpless as her tears roll down her will to live gone ©291220112215 *just to clear up the confusion this is actually written for Andrea's movie contest!!*


Details | Verse | |

Spirituals and Drums

My ancestors walking in the night
using oil lights and moonlight for guides
while being instructed to Wade in the Water
to camouflage their scents like disguise

The Sweet Chariot awaited 
so they could ride away
Harriet was a soldier
and it wasn't an option to be caught during the day
That's the same mentality Nat Turner had when he sang
Steal Away

They would follow the drinking gourd
so all were in accord to go north
The Gospel Train was coming
and at the end of the journey
was a fine reward
Freedom was coming
and it was a long time coming and
they walked until they heard freedom bells ringing
and I still hear their tired footsteps running

Thinking of My Darling Nelly Gray
Stolen from my arms a random September day
and eliminated our chances to run away together
No family ties, no love, no strength says the oppressor

Then I hear the drums beat in the darkness
giving me the hope of finally being free
Maybe I'll follow them this time on faith
on bended knee
There must be a place for me among the light
of this darkness
Among oppression, thieves, evil-doers
no thought on their conscience

Thank goodness for the safe houses that
supported our traveled distances
and for the conductors who bore witnesses
and may God have mercy on the souls who
were against this
and on those who chose to forget this sh@!

I still hear crying in quilts of safety 
because I know that the burden was heavy
to be at the mercy of nature and patrol men
catching run-away slaves for money
Some did it bare feet with freedom ahead of this
loved induced journey and they made it
So all that bull about how your life is hard
just stuff it in an envelope and save it



Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

scared I am losing it

Scared I’m Losing it.
I don’t know what to do my mind so busy things are getting confused. I can’t remember things I’ve been doing or numbers that haven’t changed. I’m catching moments of confusion finding things; Popsicle melted on the counter.
I can’t sleep at night. No matter how tired, sleep eludes me! I can hardly stand myself. I beg God to help me before I lose it. 
I think others notice something wrong. Crying, terrified I can’t hold it together much longer. Fear and panic taking over; what to do, I’m so alone! My heart heavy and my mind confused now a place of insecurities and unsafe moments!
Scared I’m losing it; living in fear as panic hovers, in the blink of an eye I could lose touch with reality. Forgetting where I’m going, what I’m doing; filled with fear; the panicky feeling just below the surface tells me I’m close!
 This, I feared all my life! I did reality checks and watched for warning signs. My Fear’s now coming true. Trying to deal with stress isn’t working.
 I tried to be a good person, doing the best I could. I needed a strong person to lean on loving me no matter what; always putting me first. Having me to trust and rely on my heart was empty. My secrets and dreams I kept, unable to share. My doubts and fears mine alone! 
At times the pain unbearable, my mind explored beautiful places. My guardian angel and to God I talked. My fish; I told my worries.
Scared I’m losing it, I pray as my fears become known and I drown in tears; people will try to understand. I thought I had a method to my madness; however I guess it was just pure madness!
Debbie Knapp
10-11-11


Details | Couplet | |

Indigenous I Am, from the Stolen Generations

This is a journey, a trip call it what you will It follows the footsteps of my ancestors, and allows my thoughts too spill Firstly let me take you back, to tell you so little of my past Indigenous I am, from the "Stolen Generations" I did not last This is why I must make this journey, to allow me to find the real me To retrace the few steps I made, to rediscover what my young eyes seen How ironic that the person I'll ride with, is the son of the then official Whose deliberation to round up us children, the scene, locale It's now the morn of our travel, where I look I find hard to see The peripheral of the distant horizon, is all that really captures me The town where I grew up so young, barely to the age of five Perth, now bustles like a termites nest, zig zagging in busily strive Into the bush we go, to a place where us youngsters so enjoyed Moore River Native Settlement, which soon became children void As I walk my arid lands, patterned in the heat of this day I recall with every step, where us Indigenous children played We could survive on the smallest of fruit, water we could easily find Even the son of the then official, said that we are a superior kind He marvelled when I spotted tracks, traces of where animals crossed Remembering back to when I was five years old, our lands always talked We opened up as we led our horses, introduced all those centuries ago They opened up my lands, rivers we walked, now the white man flows This is a journey I had to make, it's called, it's in my will No more "Stolen Generations" no more will my culture spill


Details | Verse | |

Philosophical Poetry Week: Transient Tuesday

I am a misprint,
Ink blot on love,
I remain a maybe
Longing for fact,
No speck of lint,
A hand in glove.
Thunder; a baby
Will only react

When you etch
Parallel clouds,
Whistling on cue
To a dead town.
Dream a sketch
Of silent crowds
Becoming you,
This boiling crown

Chews thought
Into flagellation.
Holes in the walls
To spy through,
Seeking a sort
Of bricked-up sun.
A heaven of halls,
All leaving you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Paper and Plastic, is Man Fantastic

Me, I'm just part of mother earth
I'm just a little particle
At least mother earth knows I'm worth

Me and other particles
We make up her ground
For purity it is, it's found all around

For millions of years
We absorbed so many things
Decaying plants and flesh
In daily life it brings

Then the day arrived
With the experiments of man
Creating what was never here
Was it in their future plans

I can still recall the day
Seeing a fluttering near me
It was so white, drifting like a leaf
But I couldn't picture the tree

Beside me it lay
Not for long, just a couple of weeks
Here, then it was gone
Us particles no longer weeped

The fortunate in us lived on
Living many, many years
But this day I'll always remember
Us particles choked, and lingering tears

Generations now have passed
The same colour, white like the paper
This time it never left
Mans creation, who cares, their caper


Details | Concrete | |

Observer

A serpent underneath blue sky,
in shade of man, in twinkle of an eye,
above brick wall, in the structure, at the floor,
venom of white dove; contaminated food, undrinkable water,
misguided youth, pregnant daughter, unfaithful father and hateful son,
mothers do pray while we walk through Babylon;
on teli and in the press, on top shells,
price none the less, in bedroom and at your door..
dawn of a new day seemed to be dark,
after all.


Details | Free verse | |

The IRONY of my DREAM

I can see the dream I'm dreaming
It's so beautiful, so alleviating
It's the alliteration of everything compelling
It's an epitome of petulant imaging

It's me metamorphosing into greatness
Bearing the trophy of poetry highness
I can feel the gaiety on my success
And the scenery of  my upliftment

But it's only a dream, not reality
It's just a film in  my head, not an actuality
It's the absolute notion of melancholy
The maestro of maudlin deformity

It's a prototype of an implicit onerous display
A melodrama that reclines on a fairy tale
The model of an unswerving galling replay
Like a pungent smell, unwanted but makes it's way

I can't triumph over over-lords of the pen
I can't defeat the dominating combatants of content
I can't outsmart the ten over tens
I just can't win this contest

But I CAN do one thing
Dream of  my WIN


Details | Ballad | |

Isolation

How can I tell you?
I can't stay with you.

Neither I can give up on you.
Fear of losing you is losing me.
It feels like slow death every night.

But we are just stuck in our spaces!
Unable to connect from two feet distance.


Details | Free verse | |

Passchendale: 3rd Battle of Ypres, 1916

Even the dead reject this blasted earth.

The ground, such as it is,
Is freshly Antidiluvean,
And the corpses swim within its tumbled, heaving masses
Blood and mud the mortar
Holding the chaos together.

The sun is weak,
Ashamed to break the haze
And bring to light the obscenities transpiring here.

The whistles blow
And the troglodytes emerge
From their respective holes,
Staggering towards one another
Through watery craters
Over the mincemeat of comrades
To add themselves to the swimming sacrifice
Constantly on offer 
To the insatiable, sole diety of this place,
The Mud-God, Futility.

     They are men no more,
     Those who struggle 'neath
     The leaden skies
     The wan sun
     Of the sodden moonscape
     That is Passchendale.

     They are only raging beasts
     Trading pain for pain,
     All trace of cause or reason
     Lost in the maelstrom of their collective misery -

And the only escape
Is to slay and to be slain;
To join the bitter shades
Ascending with the fog and smoke
Through the wall of cloud above,
To vanish into the icy deeps
Among the far, impassive stars.


Details | Sonnet | |

Brave like you

 I find myself not , eating, thinking, and sleeping
Sometimes , not doing things right in my life
The many obstacles , Im going threw
Just to reach one goal
The many blocks, I walk
Day or Night

Sometimes confuse on time
Wishing it was a dream
The moment , I heard 
You went to sleep
All, I keep saying is 
Who , understood me like you
For the many reasons 
I love you

I appreciated everything, you did
From the braveness, you gave my soul
The gentleness, in your words
For each teardrop, you wiped off my face
Now, my teardrops seem to reach the ground
While , I look in (Heaven)
Praying your looking down

Showering this fear off my skin
Feel my feet
They're so weak
But , for you 

I get on my knees
Singing and crying, to God
That my angel is you
So , I can whisper in your ear
Mama, make me brave
Brave like you

June 8th 2012


Details | Rhyme | |

Shield Me

Shield me from this stain I bear,
remove this filth and smut I wear.
Cover my eyes from the evil truth,
discard these lies and hide the proof.

Guard my heart, these beats of pain,
from this spattered torn, loveless stain.
Protect this tired, worn out soul,
the one who beats out of control.

Defend my honor, grace and trust,
uncoil these spoils, away we must.
Preserve the mutiny, oust the pure,
coral the innocent with your evil lure.

Safeguard the takers, fakers and rest,
loosen the chains around this chest.
Release my dignity, vanity and control,
please shield my heart and cover me whole.


Details | Sonnet | |

River Deep, Mountain High

How do we ever know whom we've come to know
All we see is their periphery, externally on show
But what resides from within, can be River Deep, Mountain High
With levels we can't seem to count, internally they cry

Internally they cry, into a world we can't comprehend
It's no wonder they appear like this, if me, I'd be round the bend
One minute their world seems so right, suddenly a darkness descends
All it took was explainable, but a different signal they send

A different signal they send, yet it's receiver appears to know
What was there originally no longer appears to show
Just like a pendulum swinging, to the left and to the right
No middle happy medium, for when it stops out goes their light

When it stops out goes their light, and a darkness descends
Maybe it's what they had become, driven round the bend







http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/life-16.php


Details | Ballad | |

Cassandra

Revelation Said In Stone Appeared an Eon ago of Shame and Sin, Something we all know But not it's rise, For is has already became Virtue Flaming Skies from an Angel So Bright The World's Cure for Soul-Blight A Hell on Earth A Savior's Worth So many Dreams are cast then Forgotten So many lives are brought up then just Thrown back down Maybe she is The Cure Maybe she is The Plan All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Release me and Burn away this land Hold me by The Hand Tell me the past is just pretend Give me The Cure If this is your destiny Then May it be mine I would die in time I'm Just another Obstacle In the way of your divine Wings Forget me Cassandra For Doom was already meant for me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim Valkyrie of Heart Angel of Grace I surrender to You Savior by Destiny Dispel all Tragedy Especially me All Fear the Flame Failed Creation of Samael She Comes from the Deep She Comes from The Heavens' Vault To End the dawn of the Demon Purge this land of all Vice Kali Yuga will be nevermore The one of Sublime Cassandra, Bringer of Muspelheim


Details | Lyric | |

The End To A Wild Ride

This is the end of all the rollercoasters we have rode
So dont look back
Because the world is going up in smoke
Just ride along with me
We will find eachother when the light goes out

Lost in a Wilderness
Will we find ourselves again
After we have been blown up into peices
Who will survive?
Who will make it to the end?

The clouds will darken
And the sun will go black
There bombs will drop
And Silence our voices

Would we have found the love 
We were searching for in the 60's
Would we have found the peace
We researched in our childhood

Would we have fixed bullying
and told children about Columbine
Would we have stopped the Depression
And told children about the help they can get

Would we be ready when the world ends
Or will we be left in the past
Would we believe in God in time for our ending
Or will we still be selling books on another religion

One day we will forget how to hope and learn how to fear.


Details | Light Poetry | |

An Uncaring World

We Live in  world that lacks genuine love and affection towards
their fellowman.
Why are so many uncaring towards one another.
People today don't care what they do or say and who they say it 
to, understandably the world has and is still undergoing changes
there is a whole lot more pressure on people these days
especially the younger generation which causes anger,
depression and frustration.

Then there is now the extra worries of the global ressession
which causes misery and grief but where is the 
sense of relief people are in much despair over 
the financial state as they fear their jobs
are at stake.

The world seems to be in a real angry state, due to
all the atrocities and anomisty there is 
which makes people uncaring and  can cause others to
feel intimidated to even walk the streets and not
looking at people that they meet as there is no
trust anymore in the world.

How did we get to this where nothing seems right,
where angry people argue and fight,
only evil is in sight.
Happiness is just a dream, not a reality or so it may
seem.

What went wrong in the world that caused so much
grief and anguish when did it begin, it started in
1914 when the world saw the first world war,
the reason for the troubles since then was the
devil Satan was thrown out of heaven  to the
earth and  soon he is to be destroyed so while he
has the time left he is causing so much upheaval
as he is full of anger knowing he will soon be gone, as
God Jehovah will rid the earth of Satan and his demons
and he will restore the earth to A Paradise in
peace and security instead of all the unrest and
anomosity.  People will be happy for all 
eternity.



Details | Rhyme | |

Game Over

One last time,
one more chance,
I told myself no,
to this endless romance.
Its good for awhile,
but always ends in tears,
starts with a smile,
then the love disappears.
You start to get mean,
thinking ill cower away,
but not this time,
not today.
Hit me again,
we'll fight to the death,
this will only end,
when you take your last breath.
So say goodbye
to your silent nights,
and say hello
to these violent fights,
I cant take it anymore,
I want to be free,
I wont back down,
until your life's a memory.


Details | Ballade | |

Paying back what I owe

Paying back what I owe.

I guess that some are wondering
Why I’m writing all this stuff
About the man John Sherman
Maybe you’ve had enough
But I owe the man so much
He taught me how to be
A man who lives more in the moment
With a heart and soul that’s free.

I was angry, rude and antisocial
I had no friends at all
No one wanted me around
I’d drive them up the wall
With all  my foolish paranoid
And the hatred deep within
I tried with everything I had
To quell the nasty din.

But then I read Johns message
As I did surf the net
He told me ’do one little act!!’
And I have no regrets
That I did take the mans advice
For look at me today
My happiness is my success
And joy, it is my way.

Now I’m a very loyal man
I must pay back what I owe
John and Carla changed my life
So I want the world to know
I make me no false promises
I just say look and see
It doesn’t cost nothing at all
But it made a brand new me.

13 July 2013 @ 1208hrs.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Hidden Sin

What is sin? It is something that is buried within.  Oh no! it is the
hidden sin, it comes back to haunt you again and again.  Sometimes it
is near, sometimes it is far, also it can be a hidden war that lurks in our
inner-beings to haunt us again and again.

We love today and hate tommorrow, what is this hidden sorrow?  It is the
thing that comes back to haunt us again and again.  It makes you happy, it
makes you sad, it loves to make you feel real bad. So what is this hidden sin?
The thing that come back again and again,

Sometimes you are good, sometimes you are bad, it gives you pain you never had.
What is this hidden sin? The joy and pain that is hidden within, "This is the hidden
sin".


Details | Rhyme | |

Seeking accompany

Seeking accompany- Zamreen Zarook
 
I kick to wonder what made me to cry,
Am really writing as a fry,
Myself launch to be dry,
This ink will be a victim for my cry.
 
What really went wrong with me all these day,
What made e to forget my last day,
I realized I jumped out of my track yesterday,
So I regret for that, what is called as present today.
 
Happiness have started to wave hands for this sinner,
Sadness have started to move inner,
The faults that I considered as miner,
So far changed as a miner of a winner.
 
My face was a comparison to sunlight,
Where as my routine changed it to moon light,
I wish to get that twilight,
As a sinner I started to search for that enlight.
 
I started to enjoy what is right,
I remade my faults as a kite,
I wished it would fly apart from my  sight,
My system said, you are free from your rubbish weight.
 
It proved that I always should depend on god,
In whatever the variation of my mood,
He is there to clear my victorious road,
So, I started to live according to His code.


Details | Rhyme | |

A True Story Of A Helping Hand

One night a young man appeared at my door, It seemed he had troubles I couldn't ignore. Some water and a phone call was all he asked for, Yet somewhat reluctant, I opened the door. As I listened, he told me a little about his life, And I could plainly see, there had been much strife. Well, I thought to myself, now there must be something there, That the Lord could use in His service down here. I told him it appeared that his life needed a change, And it was God who knew how his life to re-arrange. So, I fed him and sent him on his way home, Then I prayed for this young man, that night, after he was gone. Later, my husband told me of the fear that he felt, That I had opened the door to a man so unkept, How today, this is just something we should never do, Even though God says,"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Oh! What has this world come to, when in Gods word we are told, To help those in need and are hungry and cold? Must we now be afraid to lend a helping hand, Unaware that some might be angels wanting to be a welcomed friend? Now, I don't know if I'll ever hear again from this man, But I was willing to lend him, my helping hand, Just to share what I had, and one thing more, A way that his young life could again be restored. Yes, I guess we must now be afraid to lend a helping hand, Unaware that some might be angels, never to pass our way again.


Details | Free verse | |

Graveyard diggers- a frustrated quest

LETS NOT CRY FOR THOSE WHO ARE DEAD

AS EMOTIONS ARE BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD

LONGING FOR LOVE IS FUTILE

PALE AND FRAGILE

I WISH THOSE BLUE EYES

TO BE MINE FOREVER

ALAS ! DREAMS ARE THE ENEMIES OF DAYLIGHT

MOONLIGHT IS CONCEALING MY THOUGHTS

INSOMNIA IS GRIPPING MY VISION

WAYWARD THOUGHTS CULMINATES AS

MY LOVE POEMS ARE CHAINED IN PRISON…








Redfiery
2011




Details | Rhyme | |

Daddy's Fear Is My Regret

My excitement was at an all-time peak
since Daddy was coming to meet me.
I was so enthralled I could barely speak.
I wondered how he would greet me.

Would he still call me his little girl
even though I was all grown?
That would give me such a thrill
though him I'd barely known.

Mom died when I was just five
and all the family was scattered.
Finding my loved ones well and alive;
for years that's all that mattered.

I found one sibling then another.
This made me very happy.
I had a sister and a brother
but I still wanted my pappy!

Finally I found him or he found me.
We set up a meeting date.
I was there an hour early.
Seemed Dad was running late.

For the longest time I waited there
but he was a no-show.
Turns out his fears he couldn't bear.
So my daddy I'd never know.

He begged forgiveness when he called later.
I never did see him again.
I forgave him 'cos I'm not a hater.
But this caused me so much pain.


This a true story for Kim Morrison's contest 


Details | Free verse | |

Masquerade

You saunter through the double doors
Head held high
Chest puffed out
Putting on airs
You think you’re so clever, so deceiving
Showing up baring the most ornate mask
But I see right through
The mask that you wear tonight
You think it will conceal
You think just tonight
In this hour
You can be somebody else
But you’re dancing with the Belle of the Ball
This is MY Masquerade
And this is the 147th event
You just don’t recognize me
Because I wear a different mask each time
Your mask is cheap material
Sequins missing, feathers askew 
Such feeble attempts
I smell your bravado
Putrid and reeking, stinking up the air
But I see right through
I’ve donned masks my whole life
That’s why I am the bearer of this sash
That you see around my neck 
“Strongest Person I Know”
But I allow no one to gaze under the mask
Sure I play the Belle oh so well
But if you all saw beneath
Saw WHY I’ve had to wear masks
You’d strip me of my title
You’d rip off my sash
Break the pearls from my neck
You’d run for the door tonight
Quicker than Cinderella at the stroke of midnight
That’s the beauty of a Masquerade
You can pretend to be something you’re not
When one guise becomes worn
When it loses its sparkle
It’s glamour and charm
That first catches your eye
Well it’s quite alright 
Because I have a treasure trove 
BURSTING with masks
Grab another and keep dancing
Twirling the night away
Never skipping a beat
But when the music finally comes to an end
When the door closes and the final guest departs
Empty wine glasses are seen scattered all around
The only sound is the echo of my heels
When the confetti lies lifeless on the floor
That’s when I remove my mask
Exhausted, worn and weary
When I gladly, almost desperately 
Take off my tattered sash 
And throw it beneath my feet
Because I’m not resilient and strong now
I feel weak, frail and reclusive in my realm
That’s when the tears start to brim
That’s when I wish someone else held the title
So stripped and naked
Alone to clean up the mess
Everyone else has left behind
But there’s no one to there to pick up the sash
Just me and the sound of my tears
Echoing as they hit the floor
Almost fearfully I pick up the sash
Dust off the confetti
Smooth out the wrinkles
Before placing it back around my neck
As I throw my shoulders back
Standing taller than ever
Wiping away tears that no one saw
I walk back to my trunk
My trunk of the most decorative
Ornate, obscuring masks
Finding another to wear
As I prepare for the next façade
The next Masquerade 


Details | Ballad | |

Starcrossed Tragedy

A Silent Night's Hunt for a Tigress so blunt, Left the Fiend dancing with my Thisbe's Cloack But where was She? Her Drenching blood is all I can see The Night of Sanguine, The Night of Rapture, Tonight was meant to be All Behold This Tragedy ran by Dark Energy, My Lost Lover's Plea A seed of what is to come, In this starcrossed Tragedy, For I can not live without you, My Pyramus, All I need, My reason to Breathe One sight of me bleeding away from reality, started this tragedy and with me It shall Grow The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy A Star traveling across the moonless Night Sky, In the mid-summer of Verona, Fell from her glorious light, I have lost my guide, My need for Life Every balcony I'll climb for you, Just to Caress you once more But now it is too Late, My Juilet Let the Poison Fill me My Body dyed In silence, Dipped in Paralysis, Forging the Will of God, Feigning the Clutches of Death, My Romeo I prithee to you, See past The Illusion, Caught in the Webs of Love's delusion A Dagger reached my heart once To see you martyr for our love A Dagger reached my heart twice The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy Once the Morning Retired from her weeping The sun shined into her eyes, then his Lifeless, their dream will live on Every Petal will be Avenged The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Hidden Away With A Smile

My pain emotionless on my face

The tears I cry hidden away with my sorrow

Nothing more for what you won't understand

To be insecure for which I don't choose

Jealousy eats away for I won't give it joy

A sadness to overcome with each lesson

To stand by and watch for no control can be tamed

Once in your path I can't seek to search for the words I want to say

The scars left behind to be hindered upon

Only to weep and help better thy for oneself

One smile can hide all without opening the book

Behind it who knows what lies there


Details | I do not know? | |

That happy smile of this Girl I know

I want a reason to live
My heart wrenches in pain all too often
Tears stream down my cheeks 
Trembling lips
An urge to scream loudly

I hold it all in. 

There are way too many thoughts swirling in my head
Dizziness and a feeling of loneliness 
Creeping right under my skin
A mental breakdown is soon to show

I hold it all in.

Everyday I get closer to believe
Death might be a better place
For one who is nothing
but a hindrance to oneself 

I hold it all in.

Thoughts of doing harm again
It is getting tough not to do so
Letting everything spill on the floor
The water stealing every drop away

I hold it all in.

Weights fallen drastically 
Who notices, no one
Trying to be pretty
Who am I kidding?
I am nothing but bones
A shell yet full of too many emotions. 

La la la la.
 Mind not clear.
 Eyes clouded. 
Throat soar. 
Body numb.
 I want to leave.

Somewhere faaaaar away. 

I am afraid of the day 
I can not hold it all in
That day shall be
My Death
Wandering off to somewhere else
Fed with lies from all sides

I am Alone.


Details | Rhyme | |

Beautiful------- BLOOD-------- Stain:::::::::::::::::::::::::

Living amongst Hell's battles with little to gain aftermath brings stinging rain as beauty dwells in the blood of the stain


Details | Ballad | |

Always Remember Tooth Paste

Tears for fears.
Tears throughout the years.
Tears that fallen from my peers.
A tear so sincere that will shred us from this dreadful fear.
That someday we all will die.
But have u gotten a slice of that pie.
A pie so delicious u can almost taste.
That u cant let it go to waste.
Maybe next time I'll remember tooth paste.


Details | Didactic | |

TO OUR POLITICIANS

                                             

We are not different from toilet tissue
Used in cleaning shit-smeared buttocks-
Those of you unabashed politicians
Who proliferate our ears
With gargantuan lies
Croak with breathe-taking professionalism
And awe-inspiring stratagem. 

You these jigsaw creatures that deceive our mothers
With soap and blood maggi
As if our mothers whom we suckled are sheer beggars.

Your voice rise again
In their well crafted holy sermon-
“Vote for me and have tarred roads!”
Begging us to once again
Place you in comfort and wealth
While we are used yet again 
To clean rot-caked buttocks.


Details | Lyric | |

fracking oil

should I believe you man in the suit?
oh your hair looks mighty fine 
combed back, your polished slacks 
a slight tan 
you are irresistible in your presence 
demanding attention. 
you have a face that looks right 
nothing you say would be out of sight 
nothing you do would steer me wrong 
oh man in the suit, 
you are my god. 
you have the power to make us thrive 
dig a hole 
to the other side 
not to china, but to the fuel
oh man in the suit 
I cannot trust you 
you dug too deep 
into a pocket of the earth 
looking for more resource 
to fill your own pockets 
but I don't want pockets 
man in the suit 
all I want 
is for you to tell the truth
your polished smile did us wrong 
lies lay upon your clever tongue  
and you continue to rule the earth 
digging your holes 
you find more girth 
to your hungry pockets 
which you try so hard to fill
when will you learn 
that filling pockets kills...


Details | Ballad | |

Corpse Bride

The braeþ of lyf -- I've Learned to fear
Though, ta'en it was, so long sinsyne
I've wroot my song of skreighs
He tore the lyf out of me
In sooth did she speke this to me - Cassandra was she to me
Wistful - I am no bride to be
Wistful - is this soliloquy of skreighs

I cede to thee, deathly colleen 
Though remains - façades of humanity 
Angel kind - wicce of my welkin dreams
Casted by the lote of she
Ta'en the hollow Herefro way - ne'er!
Caught with twain
W'ie or swain

Angel dearest so fair - love does not share
Seemed a crux, when eath is lone
I rose for thee - cede all of thy love to me
Or was this not meant to be
Eros's deceit 
So wistful - corpse bride I remain to be


Details | Rhyme | |

Paper Thin

Your paper-thin porcelain skin,
I know how to get right under it.
For kicks is why I do it now.
You tell me to love but I never knew how.
Our feet hitting pavement,
We spent the day in sunny California with sun kissed skin.
I’m learning to forget and how to fade scars,
And you let me let myself down so hard.

Your paper-thin porcelain skin,
I know how to get right under it.
And now I just do it for smiles,
We’ll never see flower girls stumbling down aisles.
I’d lose my head just before that chance,
But if you want we can still have a first dance.
Cause I think I say things that I don’t mean,
Once upon a time you meant the world to me.

Your paper-thin porcelain skin,
I know how to get right under it.
But I’m trying to refrain,
To make this not all end up in vain.
Maybe I can learn to love like some people do,
And you can learn to love yourself a little too.
Or it is in all fairness to let this go?
I guess we can try but then we’ll never know. 


Details | Free verse | |

We all fear

Why do we feel hatred?
We fear discontrol.

Why don't they get it?
Why don't they comprehend?
Why do we wait?
Why do we protect?
Why do we run?
We fear destiny.

Why does it hurt?
Why does it burn?
Why do we fight?
Why do they betray us?
We fear love,
We fear friendship.

Why do we keep?
Why is it deep?
We fear the abyss.

Why hell?
Why heaven?
Why purgatory?
We fear darkness,
We fear light.

Why do we live?
Why do we die?
Why do we suffer?
We fear death,
We fear life.

We all live,
We all die,
We all keep,
We all fight,
We all suffer,
We all cry,
We all love,
We all wait,
We all give,
We all receive,
We all trust,
We all wish,
We all dream,
We all remember,
We all feel...

We all vanish,
We all rise,
We can ignite.

We fear destruction.
We all expect,
We all regret,
We all lie.

Why hate?
Why do we create?
Why do you stare?
Why do they glare?
Why explore?
Why hope?
Why goodbye?
Why shine?

We all think,
We all see,
We all go,
We all deserve,
We all pass,
We all fear...


Details | Lyric | |

UNFOLD

The pain of change as it unfolds
Is oft a tale that stays untold
What is seen is a whole creature
not deep holes in the feature
nor concrete soles that makes his feet hurt

It all begins with a soft kiss
He is walking with a false bliss
Only following in paw prints
But the nature of mom's lips
Is to rob him of all innocence

Trapped in warm spindles of fear
A wrapped life form kindles in here
Four years bound to shingles of moss
Time to leave this life of sloths
Break free like that of a moth
and Rise again like Christ on the cross


Details | Lyric | |

Regaining power

Regaining Power.

He walks a lonely road, with his head there in the clouds
And he doesn’t even notice passing strangers
He’s been here ‘bout a thousand years forever all alone
And he’s always looking out for passing danger.

Invisible sometimes he feels, so he tries to seek the glory
As the child calls out in panic “I am here
They have taken all my power so my blossom will not flower
And all around I’ve built a wall of fear

But it’s his pain it is his game
As he prowls around his cage
He lives in vain, is he insane?
And fear ignites his rage.

The truth be plain, the lions mane is what he must acquire
The little boy he must regain his power
And tell the world “I’m here, I’m here” and feed the burning fire
It would take this much to open up his flower.


Details | Haiku | |

An Untitled Triad of Haikus

As the tide rushes
Forward, brown black seaweed strands 
Wrap the graceless leg
 
Silver scaly fish 
Catch the light of the sun as
Silken drops of sea

Slide off the pale hand 
Lifting to wave to those on
the retreating shore


Details | Verse | |

Armageddon Pt 1

It's bout to get worse
It was written in the verse
The truth hurts
ARMAGEDDON WILL NOT BE TELEVISED

When the time comes
No one's gonna hold up a sign
saying it's time to "get right"
It's gone come like a thief in the night!
Blowin' up and wreckin ish!
The war you want is the war you gone get
It was written before our time
We keep looking at the signs
manifest before our very eyes
constantly denying our right
to be one of the meek ones of our time
ARMAGEDDEON WILL NOT BE TELEVISED

We're at the end of what used to be existence
Every super power will answer to a higher power 
so pray repentence
The time is closer than any distance
From Washington to Obama
No one will escape the wrath!
Hope you choose the right path!
Narrow is the gate of the righteous tracks
that are imprented on the mind of the omnipotent one
Will you be spared life on earth with the meek ones
and accurately take in knowledge of his son?
OR will you perish in the dust
never to be awakened again?
No consciousness of sin
ARMAGEDDON WILL NOT BE TELEVISED!

It's in the verses
Read it, see it, live it, rehearse it
You see the times changing
You see the minds fading
You see the world and how messed up it is
You see that nigga satan and his curses!
I pray to have a chance to live a beautiful paradise on earth like it say in the verses!
ARMAGEDDON WILL NOT BE TELEVISED

YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN WARNED


Details | Free verse | |

The Rebellious Teen

The rebellious Teen loved all his friends. 
The only ones he listened to… were them.
They wanted him to drink and smoke every night. 
They said experimenting with drugs was definitely all right.

The rebellious teen’s mom was beside herself… 
This was her child and this could finish his life.
But he continued to listen to the Devil himself.
What could she do in the end to save his life?

The devilish friends held him closely in the palm of his hand…
In the end she decided she had to move far away from them.
Somewhere… where only new friends he could find.
Those who loved life, sports, and learning: to draw him back in.

Then every so often she let him, for a visit, to go back…
Each time he went, fewer were left to contact, yes, some were even dead.
Some had over dosed… Some didn’t care who he was any more.
What he found was rot and that they lacked the drive to live.

The rebellious teen cried for what he saw they had become…
He had changed and now could see, what was happening to them…
These were no longer the friends that he remembered from before.
He tried to save them with words and his love… but they didn’t care.

He didn’t want to go back to that sadness, to live ever again… 
Now he looked to the future and that was a fact.
The moral I tell you, all of my friends…if he won’t listen to you… 
Then find him new friends.

For if he is your life and if you want him to live…
Find others to help steer him or else you can’t win…
Let his support group be new peers who enjoy life to the brim.
Yes, those who will help lead him to walk in the light again.

From a true experience…


Details | Ballad | |

Listen

Listen to the buzzing, in your ears,
Listen to the humming, of your fears,
Listen to the baby, crying inside,
Listen to the pleading, in your lover's eyes.
Listen to the music, you have never played,
Listen to the sinner, who's never been saved.
Listen to the empty, silence of your mind,
Listen to the whispers, of man kind.
Listen to the never, heard nor seen,
Listen to the listener, who has never been.
Listen to the monkey, you know you really are,
Listen to the wise man, who's never been that far.
Listen to the dying, crying man,
Listen to the bottle, buried in the sand.
Listen to meaning, you never really meant,
Listen to the letter, you never really sent.
Listen to the lovers, who loved another one,
Listen to the brothers, torturing their mum.
Listen to the noisy, who never say a thing,
Listen to the silent, crying deep within.
Listen to the never, ever really said,
Listen to the dead man, laying in his bed.
Listen to the flying, dying man,
Listen to the solid, only made of sand,
Listen to the night time, they told you that was day,
Listen to the meaning, they stole an took away.
Listen to the singer, who never made a sound,
Listen to the thunder, in the lightning cloud.
Listen to the voices, you never hear within,
Listen to the last train's whistle, whistling.


Details | Free verse | |

The Fear

The Aphotic rays reach higher
And shame, shade reigns over all
Lacuna, Apathy is all I feel as I fall into the ashed grave
I'm living, the slowest way to die
Elysia, rapture where are you now

What will I do when the flame is extinguished 
What will I do when I drown in ash
What will I do when they sing my name in funeral dirges 
How can this be all, one short organic vitality
Scares to die, but afraid of a new day

Scared to die, but so afraid of a new day
Will I Ressructe to Paradise, burn in Hell, or lay in Sheol
Is this a there is, one feather, to the dirge
My life so long - my suffering grows
Scared to die, but so afraid of a new day

In all of the ashes, a flame begins
Once again, here I am
Living, the slowest way to die


Details | Free verse | |

Light To Dark

You think you’ve gone just far enough,

I could smile knowing you’ve gone far enough that you can’t go back again

You think you were careful but,

I’ve caught a glimpse of your true, wretched form

You think you can find a way into my good graces

I’ve seen what you are, monsters with a friendly costume

You can’t deceive me anymore and, I don’t consort with serpents

You think I’m a game to be played but, trust me, you could never win

Don’t underestimate me

You think I’m a joke but, trust me you won’t be laughing

You think I’m just talking myself up but, trust me, you’re the ones going down

My eyes took too long to adjust

Better late than never

It may take a monster to know one but, I promise my teeth are sharper than yours

My first reaction to the hideous revelation that was your form was to weep

Fall to my knees, maybe even wretch my heart from my chest and onto the carpet

Then I thought about the mess it would make

I decided the only blood that will spill, will be your own

I was not weak, but I had a weakness

A heart of soft gold stitched to my sleeve with care

No longer

Now my heart is a stone so heavy

I could kill at least two birds at once 

Being the nice guy is a thing of the past 

Thanks for freeing me of that softness

You thought I was all sunshine and delicate things

When really I had just been swallowing razor blades

Now that sun is setting and I hope you see it was you who were wrong

Can you feel my darkness coming, because it’s eager to hold you

If you thought I was the one who would just stand still or turn to run

Your gonna be the one with tired feet

I’m not sad anymore

Just sick with the plague of your lies

Contagious, and I’m looking for someone to kiss

Even angels can make themselves wicked

When we do, we take no prisoners

Still think I’m a game

This one is just beginning


Details | Alliteration | |

Work Aint Honest But It Pays The Bills

They say when life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Well the niggas i know work and its not honest, but it pays the bills in the words of badu because she gone tell you the truth and ima give you the scoop on a livin troop who got the boot because he didnt wana shoot a dude in the same resemblence as hisself but he still work, its not honest, but it pays "his" bills. -Afro_Kira


Details | I do not know? | |

Can't Be Friends

Before, while, and after I said goodbye
I couldn't help but sit there and cry.
I cried on and off for 7 hours and slept one
Woke up and cried again, I still wasn't even done.

Two more hours…wake up again.
Every so often a tear falls in the open.
I literally feel an aching pain in my chest
Thinking of how I lost you, wanting to forget.

I'm feeling sick and I still haven't ate.
I want you…my thoughts aren't straight.
Mane, almost every tweet...is about you
And almost every thought…is about who?

Someone who could have been playing me
Or showing me where my desires could lead.
I wanted to tell you everything, I wanted to say more,
There wasn't enough time and now my broken heart's feeling so sore.

I just wanna be alone and listen to this depressing song,
I can't get you out of my head... it hurts. Is that wrong?
I understand that I may be foolish wasting my time hurting over you.
But in all honesty my dear, I really wanted us to be something too. 


Details | Narrative | |

ROUGH TURN

Hear my plea and hurt me not
Have mercy and let me be,	
Lost I am but found I will be
Taunt not my image
Lest yours you taunt
Do not rob me of pleasure
Pleasure I will feel only with him
Part not my thighs
That I nurture for he, whose I am
Spare me this agony
Free me of this shame
Release me from this hurt
And do not steal my cries
Rob me not of my pleasure
For demented I will be
With your cold and evil touches
Touch me not, ooh rugged being
For my life you bring to an end.
 
 
 © Naa Takia, All Rights Reserved 2012
 


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck

I'm like a lion
Tryin to be  trained
to behave in a cage, but
I wasnt born to be tame
Full of stress and rage
 Im compressed and chained
Infected with depression
beCause I cant catch a break
Lifes taste is so tart
In pain from my scars
Stained by lame luck
Stuck behind apace car
I strive to write
But all I can type is the space bar
I'm Pervaded with doubt
About to freakout
Quick Someone bail me out
I would sniff my way out
but I got this cyst on my snout
From 6 years of this drought
Im sittin with this could of pout
Stickin to me like jam from a can
like melted candy in your hand
I'M a pantree full of Spam
 A Letter without the stamp
A debtor without a plan
Like chicken on a pan without any Pam,
Damn I'm starting to get pissed
 I got to devise a plan, before I break my fist,
Punching this brick wall, I got the spit but no ball
got the wits with no squall, like a toliet with no stall
 Slippin in a pit fall, Shiz just snow balls
I want to brawl, missed last call
My Stick shift just stalled,
This lawl has no intention at stopin at all
And I'm kicking myself in the balls
like old men walking up and down the halls
so i flop, just like a dust mop
Now i got knots in my food box
The size of king kongs rocks and
Every door has been locked
I try to soar but its all for not


Details | I do not know? | |

Lost love but I want u back

Lost love, I lost love you lost love and were both hurting. Let's just be like forget it and give up. But no I will life u and I the best I can. I lost u but I love you more then anything in this world. I'm not over you. You changed my life and I gave up on us i love you still I hope u see this and see how much u many to me. I love you and our lost love.


Details | Hybronnet | |

Faded Life

Stuck in a situation, Not knowing what to do? Blocked from all directions, Tired of being sick, throwing and feeling weak, The people I thought I can trust walked away, I am tired of selfish people, I am tired of being alone and fighting this without any support, When this should be your responsibility too! All you want to do party and play, I am tired of facing problems one after another, I need peace, relax and have nothing to worry, Yet you bring hell to me! All you care about is you and your career, While I give my life and risk everything for us & baby, I give up my family, my car and now I am broke and homeless, And all you care about is you and your dreams, It bothers me how you think & blind to see, My dreams and goals for my life is in the trash can, You keep asking for respect yet you cant even understand your women, Without a cause there is no effect, I just wish you would understand that! This is not about who wins or looses! This is about us fixing problems togather as ONE!


Details | I do not know? | |

A Walk Alone

Quick as a blade lunging forward to claim a life, is this darkness falling upon me. Whispers of a sorrow, known so long ago, float in the thickness of the night. Twigs snap in the distance, I turn but my eyes fail me.. My own hand in front of my face goes unseen... then, all becomes quiet... 
   Walking along a gravel path, each step makes the pebbles unearth and dance along side me until coming to a halt.. Searching for even the slightest sign of light.. my head tilts towards the sky looking for the moon or the stars to show me what little comfort they could offer.. I am alone. Even they have abandoned me on this wicked night. Owls hooting in the midst of this forest, as if to let the rest of the forest know I am here.. and I am alone.. the wind at my back shows no mercy on my path to find light.. it taunts me, urging me to run as if it knows something I do not.. As soon as that thought was finished, a screech! 
   Snapping and cracking from branches being broken in a direct path to me. Finally I can take it no more, rendered so helpless, Frantic, I run blindly with arms reached out in front of me to take the blunt force of whatever I may run into.
suddenly, there is a loud "THUD"...
   The screeching stops, as do I.. Heart pounding intensely, it is as if it is not my heart at all, but drums being played.. Lungs threatening to collapse as my knees buckle. Tears of fear streaming down these burning cheeks..
whats that? Foot steps! I ask myself, from where? I spin, there!
   Don't scream, don't move..  Crouched down low to the ground. Eyes burning from the rush of tears, heart wrenching and twisting between my ribs.
A light! Scared, I stand.. One moment passes and the next I'm running... but why? Light is what I'm searching for! No..safety.. from fears and my pain... 
   This forest is a manifestation of my fears.. I must face them!
My feet come to a steady stop. Turning to face the enclosing footsteps.. My adrenalin is fading I can now feel where the broken branches had their way with the bare skin of my arms and legs. I can feel the lumps forming.

The light!
Eyes shut I cling to a nearby tree.. deep breaths in, deep breathes out.. bracing myself for what is about to come.

My eyes dart open...


Details | Rhyme | |

The Coldest Dream

Words as smooth as melting ice, And as cold as cold can be . . . To hear them only one more time Would surely be the death of me. The night-mares surface once again, But from where inside my mind? Few moments pass when he occurs In winding headaches so unkind. Nights have passed without deep slumber, And nights have passed with deepest rest, But whether I find sleep, or not, I find the nights without him best.


Details | Free verse | |

Loss of innocence

Houses lost, friends go away…
Then others I’ve never known…
Some areas worse, some less…
But all have seen the scar…

Empty homes with vacant eyes…
The bank will own the loan…
Won’t let lose their precious prize…
Until they’ve made a score…

A few will pass thru many hands…
Most will wait with time…
In the end we all lose…
With tears in our eyes…

The only winner any where…
Is the bank that still holds on…
There was really no doubt on this…
As the monster gobbles more…

As still so much is lost by all...


Details | I do not know? | |

You hurt me but I still love you

You hurt me but why do I still love you? You two timed me and it hurts to see you go. How do I trust you? How can I love you any more? You left when I gave up on us but then you came crawling back what do I do or say I love you or I hate you? What do you expect me to say to you that I'm gonna take back and say its ok? No I can't do that. You lied to me and cheated thank before you cheat next time.


Details | Rhyme | |

Binge and Purge

Musta lost five pounds today
hunger hurts
but I suffer anyway
stomach shrinks 
along with guilt
hope this improves 
the way I'm built


Details | Free verse | |

Diamonds and Milk

Once covered in diamonds, Ive got nothing on this skin but filth
Once my heart was bathed in milk, but now its rotting in s***
Down on my knees, the crushed onyx under skin, burns
Down on my knees, I see the alarm and panic ringing out loud
Just a long road, I keep my face paralell to the ground
Just a long road, I keep my body moving through the sludge
Inferior and covered in dust, I crawl up onto your prayer rug
Inferior and covered in cuts, I inch my way up to your prayer rug
Cracked fingernails, dirty skin, shaded eyes, slow, thick blood
My cracked hands wear your beads through, down to the heart
Once covered in your diamonds, Im nothing more than sin and lust
Once my heart was bathed in mothers milk, but now its failing slow
Down on my knees, tears are mercury pools in my perimeter
Down on my knees, Ill take it, take it out on me
Just a long road, I keep my face hidden, punish me
Just a long road, I keep my body moving, punish me
Inferior and covered in scabs, I just want to crawl up into your lap
Inferior and covered in scars, Ive stopped bleeding, love me now
Cracked fingernails, dirty skin, shaded eyes, slow, thick blood
My cracked hands wear your beads through, down to the heart
Once covered in diamonds
Once bathed in milk
Im cracked open and sore
But please let it hurt some more


Details | Free verse | |

When a Man cries Himself to Sleep

When a man cries himself to sleep,
it is a sad sight to see,
tears roll off his cheek
and onto his bed sheets and pillow case.
When you hear his somber cries,
you can feel his pain
when he wimpers like a child who treds in fear.
No one knows what they do to a man
when they play with his emotions,
lead him on,
take advantage of him.
They don't know what they do to an innocent man
looking for love.
They break his heart that is full of love,
they stab him in the back
when he needs them at his most vulnerable moment
they laugh at him, and tease him,
Do they know what they do to a man?
They slowly kill a man, who just wants a simple kiss on the lips,
they kill a dreamer, a good man, with a big heart.
They drive a man to his bed,
with tears running down his face
and force him to dream of nightmares.
When a man cries himself to sleep, 
it is that saddest thing to see.
Goodnight and sweet dreams...


Details | Quatrain | |

For I Had Lied

Dada was everything to our youth
Our wide faculty was his help
Our recognition was his sooth
Nobody does it than his rep

Many youth he carried up there
Without seeking any penny
Many services he rendered
For free. All of which we did see 

He was not a king or a prince
Perhaps he was just a God sent
To his community, king and prince...
He begot not but was begot

Mindful of his predicament
But dare not showed it on earth
Till that Friday night he drove out
Of town and took to a scar oath

The next hour we heard he had died
And left us belated letter
"Don't cry for me, for I had lied.
...I'll die now before later"


*cry for...: Mourn

28/05/2013


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Suicidal Voodoo

Chase the voodoo to sleep. sleepless freaks i see in the silver screens blocking the vision of me. there's no choice but to eliminate hate inundating the mind. please mute the voices haunting the airwaves making me blind. the big bad budding burden flashing red lights at every intersection. stealing away the insight i try to gain by using time for reflection.

It's a mess the way i test myself with deranged prophecies and bleak scenarios. replaying horror flicks in my head. blasting screams in stereo. all too often the worm hole shoots me to a mid evil castle of torturous devices. impaled in dreams that seem to be broadcasting punishment for succumbing to the world's entice and vices. but other times i fall victim to a good old fashioned "day-mare". people notice the self conversations and can't help but laugh and stare. I must say it's becoming difficult to blame them. if i can't learn to shake this voodoo, it's true my future's looking grim.

What do I do? they're gonna end up arresting me! Toss my ass in a padded room and throw away the key! and get this...as i worry about getting sent away, the paranoia increases inside my head. i reach for medication increasing odds of ending up prematurely dead. I may be crazy, but don't take me for an idiot fool. and don't haze me about where my faith is, cus' this could just as soon be you. and i've learned enough to know that each and every one of us will die. and you may take me as insane, but me not taking my own life's got nothing to do with having a fear to fry. 

This is exactly why i choose to write as my mind fills up with crazy thoughts and throws fits. it's a therapy for me to try and work out all the kinks that make me sink, instead of cowardly throwin' in the towel n' calling it quits.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Momma's On The Floor

13/8/2009

Momma collect yourself
I cannot lead the way
Why,
what for?
I wasn't even there...
While I knew you
petrified became my part
The anger,
all hope and faith
began to dash away

Momma,
its you
My prequel to cliched tragedy
A vessel I'd cling to
gone now deserted;
crashing against some coastal rock
Momma my confidante
Sorry leads to sorrow
Momma,
non-insured;
my personal wreck

Momma,
your daily fix for life
left me here to simmer
under much angry regret
Painful purple,
taller emotions loved you most
That snorted road trip you took
Envious indeed
Took it into your heart
more than much love for me
Caressed and stroked
inside you incessantly

Momma before,
you an early sunrise
Our good warm kitchen'
a sanctuary you've built
Gone
Just as will tomorrow
No more tasty breakfast treats,
no more injected passion,
and no more taboos
to haunt you every night

Momma,
I lived for you my life
I tried so hard to appease you
praise you
Revive will you?
Pulsating emotions,
this viscera will not hide
regrets
When push came to shove
we pushed you all the way

So sorry momma
That's you settling old scores
What made you love them most?
More than mere adoration
Maybe if you'd love me;
selfish may it be
You'd still be fully here
and I'd be there
beside you
Holding them tight
both you and your(lukewarm)
fading,
lifeless hands.


Details | Free verse | |

Like the frightened Jackrabbit, I run away from Love

Jump up and down like a jackrabbit
running through meadows
running from what?
Could it be heartbreak,
a venemous snake that hides in the grass,
hiding with fangs ready to pierce the tender skin
upon the tight, bronze flesh of everyday life?
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now!
I need a vacation a long way away from the faceless smiles
and ignorance of young girls, who don't look at you,
who don't show you love and respect.
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now,
as jumping spiders hop everywhere, crawling eight legs around me
my soul black like carcoal, but my heart still beating
slower this time, not like the days before
and like the jackrabbit running from anything and everything,
I run to seek love and vanish away from the empty voids
that people call, their souls.
Recording a film with no tape,
talking to a woman you love, but not having the guts to tell her how you really feel
Jump my boy, like a jackrabbit, take my advice
tell her before she leaves
turns down the endless avenues of endless dark love
the trees grow taller, taller than you
and you sit there feeling away yourself die, missing out in life.
I cannot see you lose your love.
Say it, say it, Say it!!! Tell her! Tell her! Build the guts up!
Build up the courage, tell her how you feel. Take her by the hand and never say goodbye! Never say goodnight, stay with her till the flight comes in the morning
of the first rays of sun shine through your dorm room take her and love her!
Do not be like me, the jackrabbit! I see no happiness
Reading poetry it makes me sad,
to write of others falling in love and I never finding the one.
People tell me, you'll find yours, have hope
but I am a frightened little jackrabbit
who flees from sounds of deep emotions, not having courage to fall in love,
not building the guts up to tell her how I really feel.
She walks alone, I find my oppertunity and sing my love song
She smiles and moves on,
please tell me I cannot fight anymore.
All I have to say is Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye
I need a vacation
to go to some sandy beach on an island of love
and write and write and write, the same poetry that depresses me
but makes you all fall in love with words!
Fiction about love stories, please kiss me
Blue eyed death comes, plays a game of chess with me
I bet twenty, he bets my soul
Kiss me death, the only love I'll ever get,
besides my poet friends who kiss my ass
Listen to my heart, truely, I don't write of beauty
I write for the sorrow soul, the fleeing jackrabbit
running away from love.....


Details | Rhyme | |

MY DREAMS

my dreams-   i cannot clearly see them
                      i miss them terribly all night.
                      i cannot hear them whisper 
                      i cannot hear them cry,
                      once they were source for the bright sublime
                      now i fear soon they will disappear or die.
                      perhaps i was too haste  in letting them go,
                      perchance they just wanted to grow.
                      a blithe vision to hold.
                      perhaps they felt the deluge of my pain.
                      knowing it well i can't withstand.
                      i was timid,i was all lost,
                      for that an antipathy they developed for their inimical host.
                      i  feel a gloomy numbness surrounds me
                      hazy memories of all my dreams outlying me.


Details | I do not know? | |

The White of Your Eyes

As I look at the whites of your eyes
I feel horror, fear rumbling inside me.

I grind my teeth together when I see you walking.

I fear you, I fear when you talk, shout, when you raise your hand.

I'v always feared you, but no more.
The fear I had of you I turned it into courage.

Now I no longer fear you.
I laugh when you raise your hand, when you shout.

Cuz the only thing I see you as...
Is a dead man walking.

And now your in the ground where you belong.


( If you may PLEASE comment of Mail me. Sorry i havn't been on in a long time... ALOT has happened this year to me)


Details | Lyric | |

My Struggles


My Struggles My mind grows weary. My eyes are teary. My heart often skips a beat. I toss and turn through the night. My soul and flesh continue to fight. I do what is wrong, but I desire what’s right. Inside I burn with fury, But outside I appear cool as a Winters breeze. A great storm is in the near future. Who will intervene before disaster strikes? Who will save me from the strong winds and hail? I can only pray that all goes well. I can only pray to survive this shipwreck. I can only pray to reach shore and be able to breathe again.


Details | I do not know? | |

Leave love to the brave

LOVE shoves us into glistening meadows,
Of unimaginable warmth, where ecstasy glows
LOVE also leads us to teary graves,
Of uncontainable darkness, where pain enslaves
So, teenage girls trotting over,
To find the four leaf clover
I say, leave love to the absolute brave
‘cuz, It’s more than just a fluttering rave!


Details | Ballade | |

Vets story

Vietnam Vets Story

Have you heard the story
Of those bold courageous men
Who served their country tall and proud
As they fought in Vietnam.
They done their country proud and all
And showed how soldiers fought
But now their lives aren’t worth a damns 
Their nerves all tense and taut.

They sprayed their poisons on trees
Endangered all these men
And fed them drugs not tested yet
They didn’t care back then!
They wanted just to win a war
A war pointless and mad
And many now do suffer so
Their lives all sour and sad.

And now these men just live their lives
All down with no self value
{Their bodies torn their minds all twisted
Marriages broken too!}
They have to fight with all their might
To get fair compensation!!!!
What price to risk one’s soul and life
In defence of one‘s good nation.


Details | Free verse | |

The Day Our World Changed

I lay in bed last night thinking of 
 everything and nothing, as I often do.
  For some reason or maybe for no reason,
    I thought of playing on my slip-and-slide 
     when I was a little girl.
In Florida, summer lasts from April until October.
We were always looking for ways to cool off.
That memory led to another and another. 
I remembered our neighborhood.
It came to life everyday with the sound of children's laughter.
Now, I often sit by my window hearing the silence of children 
indoors playing video games. Safe behind locked doors.
Occasionally, the birds come out to play 
or I hear a bull frog croak.
Squirrels run across our fence line searching for places to hide their treasures.
(The neighbor leaves out peanuts for them. The squirrels appreciate the gesture.)   
When I was a little girl, I caught grasshoppers and lizards, but not frogs. 
I didn't like frogs. 
I thought of my succession of childhood bicycles.
I felt free as I zigzagged through the street
riding with the wind in my hair and the sun on my face.
I haven't felt that free in a long time.
In those days, I never felt lonely.
I could always find a friend to share a secret with 
right outside my door.  
Our parents never thought they would send us outside to play
and never see us again. 
The neighborhood was our playground.
Until the day a young boy disappeared from a shopping mall
only ten miles from my childhood home. 
He was kidnapped, killed and decapitated.
I was eleven years old. Our world changed.  
On my playground, shadows lurked and everyone was a stranger. 
I cried when I saw the picture of the little boy 
with the baseball cap and toothless grin. 
My brother was the same age as that little boy. He had nightmares for a while.
I was eleven years old. Our world changed.   


By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
for Debbie Guzzi's Fear contest
Second place finish


Details | Rhyme | |

HERE I GO AGAIN

HERE I GO AGAIN

First time I shed a tear
     To the man I call “My Dear”
          Thinking of the word he said
               My heart is slightly afraid

               I don’t know if this is right
          My mind is obviously in fright
     I’m not sure of his explanations
About his past and present relations

I’m a woman of dedication
     I’m always right with my intuition
          Is this feeling will start again?
               Maybe my love will be in deep vain

               What if I will find out his deepest secrets?
          And will hurt me again to the fullest?
     I don’t think I will survive for the thought
Let see, time will come for what is really the truth


September 8, 2012


Details | Dodoitsu | |

R I P

I’m sorry Mr. Johnson
The tumor is malignant
There is nothing I can do
In fear I Awoke

Time to go to the Doctor’s
Kenny is Always on time
“I’ll wait for You in the car”
I fear, leaving Home

Your very Quiet Today
This is just a check up, Right?
Chef, it’s just a check up, Right??
I fear the Future

Inspired By the Contest : “ Crystal Ball “
Sponsored by the “Sweetheart of POETRYSOUP” (and Me)
                      Linda-Marie

By HGarvey Daniel Esquire


Details | I do not know? | |

Through the Window is Reality

I looked through the window, seeing eyes glowing and breathe slowly fogging up the window
The window was slightly tapped from the other end
End, I thought it was the end of my life
Life is so dear to me and yet tonight I might lose it
It was after me, chasing me down
Down, down I fell off, impaled by words
Those words made me feel like I was going to rain
Rain, rain go away, I said to myself
Myself, by myself, I was all alone now, as I stood at the window and I stared through
Through the window seeing eyes glowing and breathe slowly fogging up the window


Details | Free verse | |

Death, it is a sad way to go

Death, it is a sad way to go,
to leave this earth, dressed in your Sunday best
While faces surround you with tears
breaking the barriers of their emotions
tearing their hearts apart, looking down
upon my stone face, upon the face, lays a simplistic smile
that shows no emotion, no teeth, no life.
Death, it is a sad way to go.

People hurry, say their goodbyes,
but when your alive,
they never come around, they never call, they never even think
of you and how you are feeling.
While you walk the streets, with a smile on your face,
nothing but knives stick sharpe in my back and gossip
burns a hole in my soul and heart;
but I keep on walking and smiling.
I keep rolling on through like a summer hurricane
tears apart a coastal city in the heat of June weather,
Walking till death comes to shake my hand and grin at my soul.

Then as you lay their in your casket
with a buqouet of your favorite flowers, (Roses and Tulips)
they sit around you, the same faces, the same blind eyes
and they all shed tears and says good things.
Too late for that don't you think?
Death, it is a sad way to go, but what relief you get,
when finally departing in peace and leaving the drama
and careless people in your life.
After I am put six feet under, a week of crying passes,
After two weeks I am lost and long forgotten,
nothing but a stone at my cranium to keep me company
and my new friends, who sleep along next to me.
Dead and forgotten, but the dead never forget their fellow lost souls.
Only the living forget such souls that were so good to them,
now they are gone,
I am gone.
How do you feel, now that I am gone?

Death, it is a sad way to go, but what peace you recieve in Paradise.


Details | I do not know? | |

irresistible FADED memory

My heart is crushed yet is hushed,
I feel rushed, 
Six years was long,
I felt there is something wrong,
When I am with you, I don't feel strong,
Strongly feel things are prolonging.

Promises that you made,
Nothing came along, yet it fade.
Time is wasting into nothing,
Nothing worth while to keep.
We are still in step one,
My veins are popping out of anger,
My head is blowing out of pressure.


The storm has come,
My face is blank with no expressions,
Should I run?Panic?Relax?
Sorrow comes with a flow,
The mistakes that I made it shows.
Scared to face my fear,
Yet is near my dear,
Running without a parachute,
Walking on the clouds,


Not sure where life is taking me?
Curiosity kicks in,
Was all this a a long dream?
I want that dream to be true,
Your multi-personality is suffocating me,
Feeling your unpleasant status,
Makes me not want to be with you,
Question,questioning, questions?
You are unbalancing my weight,
I have always know that you are the one,
Until you ruined everything of my existence, 
With a long distance,
Now you made me unsure,
You are changing in a bad way,
I am scared to love you,
Because I don't recognize you as you.


Details | Free verse | |

Missing You

I yearn to see the stars twinkle in the midnight sky when I’m with you
I’m waiting faithfully
I’m drowning in the solitude, missing your enthralling company  


Details | Free verse | |

Burn Away

BURN AWAY

We have all lost our way
To see starlight gazers
And men with broken hearts,
Seeking love in all of the wrong places;
Vacant lots, where women all looking for something,
But not quite knowing what they look for.
We have all lost our way.

The only hope of humanity
Is the shining sun
That breaks through the blinds of my window,
And the faint memory of me and her
Lying on our backs in a grassy meadow,
Holding hands
Looked up and counted stars.

Cities burn away,
Sky, stars, moon, sun all burn away;
The grassy meadow
Where we once lay, all burns away
Everything burns away,
Memory and desire and love all burn away
With the snap of a finger, and a new man
In her own life,
And I burn away.

A picture of her hung high and praised,
A picture of me, in a dark box
That collects dust, in some lonesome
And dusty, cobweb infested attic.
And I burn away with a new day.
I burn away.

A nightmare that I can’t awake from,
It is endless and repeats
When thoughts of her are all over my mind,
I cannot take such nightmarish reality
Too see her and smile,
And she walks away without a trace
Of ever returning.
And I cry,
And I burn away,
The tears wash the fire away,
And turn me to ash,
The wind picks me up and takes me away.

And for one peaceful moment,
I do not cry,
I do not burn away.
For a moment I am happy
And I smile,
And go away for a while
And let them all sleep in peace.

-10/2/2013-


Details | Rhyme | |

Boobies

You take life from the deserving,
Strip strong women bare;
Tear a hole inside us,
Til we fear what might be there;

The lives you take are precious,
Though you discard them without thought,
Regardless of who they were,
You leave them all to rot;

You make us fear our bodies,
That which we should be proud;
Brilliant and beautiful women,
You leave off feeling cowed;

The disease you spread destroys us,
Cuts out our hearts and souls,
But the worse thing that you could do,
Is leave us feeling un-whole…


Tirzah Conway

~To Christina, she fell while fighting the Cancer battle~


Details | Rhyme | |

I Knew Someone Who Wanted to End It All

I Knew Someone Who Was Ready to “End It All!” I knew of someone who just wanted “to end it.” Giving up on life, and did not want to “defend it.” It was a heart wrenching and difficult situation. He said what he wanted to, with no explanation! I could see his face and the sad look in his eyes! What he was going to do next, was anyone’s surprise. He turned to drugs and encountered addictions. With this brought much disease and afflictions! He gave up on the wonderful family that was given. And turned to a pretty wild and crazy way of livin’! I told him about a God who loves him very deeply. As he listened, he began to grow restless and weary. I reached for his hand and began to pray for God’s power! It was a miracle! The blood of Jesus changed him that hour! The spirit of God brought healing and hope to his body! He was so excited! He rushed out to tell everybody! The “end” that he wanted, seemed to just fade away! For the son of the living God, changed him this day! The glory of God, and the power of Jesus’ resurrection… Changed him! And got him going in a NEW direction! He’s so thankful for the blood of Christ’ atonement! And is a different person now, because of that moment! This same Jesus loves and can do the same for YOU! Through the problems of life… He will see you through! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

A Soulful Moan

Take me back
My soul's time has come
Take me back
Youth I long
My old soul is close to death
Scared now-take me back







( This poem is written in a Shadoma format which isn't listed in the drop box choices)


Details | Lyric | |

For the Dying Orphan

I let you die for my name As you reached for my hands Out of waters of drowning What a hypocrite this writer is The Hatred of Solitude Letting an orphan dream Then destroy him with knowledge Of what you have done He opened up to you In new ways But in nostalgic guises The springwinds whisper blithe yore But the winterwinds, much stronger Caress you with the dreams of your funeral sky “It was you… it was your fault… Letting the one who was so open to you Be the laugh… the piece in the game…”


Details | Bio | |

The Man Behind the Mirror

Behind the mirror, the man is seen Where on our streets surrounded, Friends Thousands met cold, untimely death With screamed echoes of souls unrest Bullets flied, guns blasted ceaselessly Children dead in their mothers’ arms Father, for his lost son searched Found him only, with parts cut in shreds. Behind the mirror, was the man there? Our Young children, to soldiers turned Educated only in field of war Guns carried, bigger than they can bear Faught battles, of no cause but fear To read or write, they dared not do But to shoot or kill, well informed they were. The man behind the mirror, how did he rest? Our babies, dead while he sound slept In his glorious, paradise mirror he kept Still offered nothing, but violence more Promised, inflicted upon innocents, murder If anyone dared open their mouths to speak Or, if orders came of his seat to render. Behind that mirror, my freedom he took Our homes Burned; our stores looted Citizens, chased out of a land to love Forced into exile for years so many Adapted to a culture so not ours From scratch, we started to build Until bit by bit, we rose so high above Like an eagle, up up and away. The man behind the mirror, for him I always blame The color so dark, on our backs stained Bruises so deep, forever left to heal Visions of his bloody watch, repeatedly, us plagued Flashbacks of dear ones loved, Snatched, And palmed away by cruel, hateful death With tumbled bodies over bodies All soiled up into one tiny hole. Behind that mirror, the man will always be With blissful look in his red, budging eyes Wishing evil gleefully, with a dark smile His laughter,joy, through my anguish I see My heart beats fast, like a thunder sound And the more my hate for him increase Oh how I wish, that mirror came crashing down Then, a taste of his own medicine, he shall get


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

Military wife

Today  I will just be looking out my window while it rains, because just hearing the sound of the thunder gives me a feeling comfort  and as the lightning strikes it’s as if its telling me that it is feeling  my pain in the same way –
And as these tears keep feeling in my eyes I remember that I’m still going to be alone once again tonight  Which is the hardest part of being a military wife but as long as I have you I promise to be as strong as I can be for us—
Deep inside I hide all my sadness and worries when I am around our friends not wanting them to know these thoughts of you never end, because they just wouldn’t understand why I am weak and on my knees just trying to keep believing in your safety, As I pray each day for you to just come home  and sometimes late at night I wonder if you feel as alone as I do, oh- and do you wish to be with me the way I wish I was with you,  
Do you think of me the way I think of you, do you toss and turn threw out the whole night  wishing that you were holding me tight, oh- and do you dream of me when your all alone at night, I know you understand how I feel, And that my love for you isn’t fake and that its real, And when I am thinking of you I imagine I can feel your every move, Your every breath with each and every step I take, I just believe that no matter what  your safe, and As long as you need me the way I need you I will be strong for you for the rest of my life as your military wife.
Tonight I will just be looking out my window while it rains, because just hearing the sound of the thunder gives me a feeling comfort  and as the lightning strikes it’s as if its telling me that it is feeling  my pain in the same way –
And as these tears keep feeling in my eyes I remember that I’m still going to be alone once again tonight  Which is the hardest part of being a military wife but as long as I have you I promise to be as strong as I can be for us—


Details | Rhyme royal | |

ALONE IN THE DARK

I am holding back-against time wishes,
Lurking at a corner, as I forbid the slayer to find me
My heart beats and screech like a choking-engine,
Whilst the snarly sinister hunts - wishes me burnt to ashes
I dare thought to be a bee - 
So tiny I could fly and disappear from the scene.
But so lame a thought like that can help a soul.
The frightening night wants me feed to the ghoul.
Hidden – I have stayed long, linger I can no more.
I’m all alone in the dark, bruised and with a leg sore.
Escaping is impossible!


Details | Quatrain | |

Wrongful Imprisonment

Here I live in darkness
Dreadful fright and fear
Kept from all my fam'ly
And friends that once were near

Why am I imprisoned
What has been my wrong?
Why this dreadful sorrow
Instead of happy song?

Naught has been my trespass
Innocent am I
Robbed of all life's goodness
Condemned in jail to die


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Couplet | |

Unravel Me

Tears stream like water, rain in the night
A heart that still hungers for all to be right
Stoned by a circle, mocked while on stage
Emotions grow heavy from pain into rage
Scabs that were healing I picked them apart
All to uncover, I had to restart.

The essence of the soul, Purity
Only in your arms, Security
For the ship is overtaken by rough waves
I know that You’re the one who saves
Hear me while I sit
In the dark.

Carelessness, comes from movie clips inside my mind
Walls built to last start to unwind
And I can’t take the ache within the knots
It’s as if all I’ve learned I just forgot
For the flames of bitter yesterdays just ignite
Restless with this walk, I lose my sight

The essence of the soul, purity
Only in your arms, security
For the ship is overtaken by rough waves
I know that You're the One who saves
Hear me while I sit 
In the dark.

But I’m not alone
No I’m not alone
Going to the otherside
I must resist this fear 
And
Come alive!


By: Sabina Nicole
Written: 4-8-12
Song written for the piano


Details | Light Poetry | |

Particles Of Light

Alone is when reality doesn't exist anymore

Alone is when the one person breathes for rebellion

The speed of madness soaring through the human body at million miles per hour

Taking a different road than the one intended

Taking the high sprialing road

No longer a person you know, but a stranger

Instead of reality

Fireworks covered the sky

Everything was perfect, but only for awhile

Then the crash of blackness encircles like a haunting cloak of death

When the last breaths of life come too close

The only thing left to do is replay memories of happier times

Hoping not to die in this distorted state

Then suddenly reality caves in

And all thats left is to watch those particles of lights come back





Details | Free verse | |

death

Time fell fast 
Things became hard
Worries were vast
Lives begain scared

Hopes endlessly hidden
All things seemed forbidden
Days filled with darkness
Lives consumed and left sparkless

Awaiting the doom
Sitting only in gloom
Heaven wept
No souls were kept


Details | Rhyme | |

The Numb

Please accept my apology,
 my life, 
has been more like,
 mythology...
 
Accept that, I do not understand;
 Accept, that I can no longer,
 play this hand...
 
Punish me, 
though, 
do not condemn me..
 
Allow me the light,
 Another chance;
 Different sight...
 
This myth that is I;
 This vision,
 I cannot hide..
 
Accept me as I come,
 Recycle me,;
 Take away,
 The Numb...


Details | Free verse | |

Rip

Severing the attachment, 
Desperate to liberate myself from self imprisonment,

Each Separation ensuing with agony,
Feeling as my own worst enemy,

Further and further I tear,
Seeking the long sought relief but it becomes to much to bear,

Allowing the mold to feel anew, 
Leaving me in a state of subdue,

Almost craving the need to illustrate  some emotion


Details | Lyric | |

Noise

A thousand different voices, I don't know what they say 

Two songs playing at the same time, make this go away

The horrible sound of a Siren, are you sure you can't hear it to?

I really should be asleep now, But  what can I do?


Details | Free verse | |

Let Me Go

Let Me Go!
I don't want this anymore!
I can't go to sleep at night,
all I seem to do is write.

Sometimes I read...
I read until I finish.
When I finally go to sleep,
I hear the sound of the alarm "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

Oh gosh,
I can't handle this anymore.
I am going crazy here
and no one seems to notice it, my dear.

I cry myself to sleep.
telling myself everything will get better.
BUT IT DOESN'T!
And I know I mustn't

but I want that knife
just as much as I want that gun
I hate this world
and everything about this girl

She sings and tries to get attention
yet no one gives her the time of day.
She falls into the books she reads
no one knowing, it is escaping, she pleads.

This girl is me,
oh but you knew, right?
Since all I ever talk about is me!
Gosh, can't you see?

I'm my enemy!
I'm my own nightmare!
No one is hurting me!
It is me who shouldn't be let free!

Lock me up! 
Kill me!
That way I won't harm myself...
I'd like it if it was someone else

Please, do me the favor
and let me go
for no one can save this girl
from this cruel world.


Details | Free verse | |

To a love ill never let go of, sorry

you whispered sweet doubts into my ears
but i was so blind to acknowledge the fears
ill never regret how i felt for you 
but you seem so far gone, i don't know what to do

i only did what i thought was right
but i guess i lost all fear and extinguished the light

Bay, i wish i never left 
but its to late to take it back

Bay, i wish i had some sort of sign
to know your OK

i have this horrible habit of making a mess of things
you might think it funny
but i jump when the phone rings

i hope you dont blame me for what happened 
but then again it must have been my fault
im sorry

i guess all those times i apologized were in advance
for the heartbreak that i probably brought down upon you
bay, im sorry, im sorry, im sorry if you ever read this
you'll finally understand the way i still feel about you 

nobody ever said it was easy 
but nobody ever said i would fall this hard

i miss you 

im sorry
im sorry 
im sorry 
im sorry
im sorry

please bay, im sorry 
please bay 



Details | I do not know? | |

Heart-Shaped Razorblade

i live no more, out of the veins, and onto the floor, 
blood drains from me, from this life, 
my life i shell live no more.

deepest cuts with a dull razorblade, 
the blissful sight of the redness in which i lay, 
the smell of the unpurity, and frightened souls, 
the darkness in which falls over me, 
my life i shell live no more.

consistant with the thoughts, the thoughts that ponder me, 
the sick little twisted games that you played, 
so sick in tired, life is un-inspired, 
lost hope in a world, life is no longer a desire, 
in this life i dont want to live no more.

the dignity in which i lost , in which you took from me , 
at my verginity it cost, ravaged you were like a caged animal let loose, 
into a society that excepted you, 
but as a scared little girl you took with out fear, 
the only thing that i had to hold dear, 
now i take this life of mine in which i let it free,
and grab the razor blad that will become the death of me, 
in this life i dont want to live no more.

inocence you took from me, the moment your hands were placed upon me, 
the look in your eyes when you grabbed me, and the pain you forced on me, 
with a grin on your face, and the laugh in your throat, 
i screamed out in pain, and i know i said NO, 
i fought to servive, i fought to be let free, 
but all you wanted was your way with me, 
in this life i dont want to live no more.

sweet blissfulness, and control, while i hold the razor that cuts my wrist, 
lets the demons free to roam at peace, a peace with out me, 
addolsent fear caught up with me, 
the games are over, now im free from the life that you took from me, 
my life that i live no more. 


Details | I do not know? | |

FEAR!!!!!

I RUN from FEAR.

I HUNT for FEAR.

I HIDE in FEAR.

I FIGHT cause of FEAR.

I'm FAR from you.

I'm SCARED cause of you.

You're the FEAR that I HUNT.

You're the FEAR that I FIGHT.

You're the FEAR that SCARED me for LIFE.

*Comment if you have any thought and if you like it. oh and some of the poems i write arn't 
always my feelings. their some times just to get through other people so they can have 
something to read that just fit's them.*

                                              -Angel4eva23


Details | Free verse | |

The Rain and The Pain

Sitting, was a peacock, besides me
Waiting for the hovering clouds to shower
On us, and the parched garden twigs.
A blessing started trickling down,
It touched and tickled me all over
Peacock's danced and went like whirl, 
A charming moment, appeasing the sores.
My heart kept humming, blessing has come.
Earth revolved in a merry motion, sprinkling out
Tears of joy, running down the streams all over.
Peacock ran to seek refuge, I wondered.
What made him ran, whirl broke off.??
What made the sheen hovering clouds sooty??
Dancing legs are now running in fear.
Parched twigs uproot and float to no-go.
Tears of joy, spurt with salt of fear. 
Pink petals decimated, colours blanched.
Can't see that covey any-more, their nest.
There was my hut, who undermined??
Hey you stop, it's time for salvage.
He himself is no less worthy than world.
Is it a ransom to mighty thunders?
Stygian clouds, roaring waters??
The hands waving for help to man,
Raised in prayers to God,
Where is He? or voice is vague.
My salty tears spiked and got diluted
I had a present to present to beloved.
It is my date, I have to wait.
Don't wash me away into muddy whirls.
Now wait is over, as date is near.
All are rushing, let me leap.
emm*


Details | Ballade | |

In defense of the chook



The chook defense

Now I’m no vegetarian
Though I’d like that this could be
At seventy I’ll never change
So I’m just stuck with me
And I really love’s me chook
In every kind of way
But now I’m in the mood I’m in
I just have this to say…..

If we’re going to eat these chooks
Don’t we owe them some respect
We treat them like commodities
But what I might reflect
Is, if we treat these creatures thus
That God placed on this earth
Then we neglect our very souls
And too our own self worth.

Those birds are treated so damn mean
How can one understand
This cruelty, are we then humane?
It don’t look too damn grand
And where’s the goodness in a food
That’s never seen the sun
So when we treat these birds like this
What damage have we done?

That chicken flue was scary, once
But who knows much at all
About the karma that can come
From things, unnatural.
It’s time for changes in this world
When dosh is not the ‘all’
And then humane might be a word
That’s truly wonderful

10 July 2013 @ 1301hrs.



Details | Lyric | |

Tonight

     Tonight,
  People are going out to be with friends
people are going out to be alone

     Tonight,
  Someone is going on their first date
someone is going on their last

    Tonight,
  Someone is going to have a baby
someone is going to make one

     Tonight,
  Someone will take their first drink
someone will take their last breath

     Tonight,
  One era will end
a new era will begin

     Tonight,
  I will go to sleep in one year
and wake up in a new one

Happy New Year!
December 31st, 2011


Details | Rhyme | |

Boundaries for a Purpose

Boundaries for a Purpose – Zamreen Zarook

You are a trustworthy moral agent,
Nations perpetually talk good in your absent,
You, in no degree cheated in your achievement,
So, your soul wish to see amusement.
 
People do modifications to their mind,
They wish, society should be behind this master mind,
I wonder, why they can’t rewind
But everyone say “I love the man kind”.
 
“Trust” is a word of life,
When selfishness mount, then it’s the war of knife,
Trustworthy people starts to strife,
Because, everyone wants to achieve in their own life.
 
Trust everyone with a limit,
Whoever comes to you, do the admit,
When you see selfish, it’s the time for you to omit,
You love “yourself”, so you do have the permit
 
When you move away from this code,
Frustration and depression will be overload,
However much you try to unload,
Definitely your ship will be upload.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Man

I lie awake on the floor,
Hoping he won't open the door.
Fear zip-lining through my spine,
My courage not willing to climb.
My memory spins,
As he would slowly lift my chin.
Why again?
Doing it as if a trend.
Listening for his deep breath,
Stained with the death of meth.
My heart beating faster,
Not willing myself for another disaster.
Left eye still stitched up,
After telling the doctor it was a wood-shop cut.
"You disgusting whore,
Get to the floor!"
He would always holler,
As if I were an animal wearing a collar.
Looking out my caged windows,
Wishing I could hide away in my pillow.
Hoping he's gone,
Hoping, this one time, I'm not wrong.
As a car pulls in,
I picture the man lifting my chin.


Details | Free verse | |

Today Time Stood Still

Today time stood still, I could see existence in its clearest form. A vibe of coldness and silence, yet peaceful and reassuring, you could almost imagine it to be the same feeling of initial death. 

The curse of knowledge and intelligence is you know too much. Sometimes that ignorant bliss seems attractive, but even if given the choice I would not go back, as the more I learned the more i seeked. 

I pray for humanity and the will of the people, the story draws close to the end and with hope I watch . . . in the end good will always prevail, Amen


Details | Rhyme | |

If I die before I wake

As I die he will be with me,
I fell in love he had the key,
And always knelt on one knee.

My last thoughts are of him, 
As the lights go dim,
Life circling on a rim.

All at once we are apart,
The taste is so tart,
It all hits me in the heart.

You are left to live,
My heart your captive,
There is nothing to forgive.

My cheeks blush so shy,
With a tear in my eye,
As I start to die.

Fear not for I am well,
As many up here can tell,
It is not quite hell.

As I look from above,
kissing the forehead of my love,
I wonder what he dreams of.

I look at him so fondly,
his lips curve so grandly,
as he sleeps so soundly.

I'm like a hummingbird fluttering over his bed,
I wish to be with him but I am dead,
My life over and has fled.

I fear for my love for he is kind,
Strong handsome and well lined,
But now I leave him way behind.

Finding love is like a quiz,
Never knowing what it is,
He needs love from a heart as strong as his.


Details | Free verse | |

The Buchenwald cat

a couple is walking ‘hand in hand'
on historical grounds

they're not talking
in disbelief of what invisible
yet so present 

overwhelmed by the deadly silence
of the spirit
of hundreds of thousands
passing by also
so long ago in an eternal way

moved
by  exhibited  drawings 
miniatures of art
by witnesses back then

only the sound of countless stones
under their feet cracking
each representing
the forceful presence
of whom once were here

even the birds left the area 
only a black-and-white cat
living another one
of his  endless lives
coincidentally or not on this spot
sneaks 
also in silence
with his body 
crawling us
telling us
so much more

11/4/2012


Details | Ballad | |

Deirdre

 
Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? I can sence her embrace that feels like Tragedy A heart to have, slipped beneath the waves The dark pulse now beckons us closer How many days will this passion bleed away? We will be the ones left to blame Beware we’ve become their prey They say you’re addicted to your pain A lifeless cold barren soul left to die in the rain A whisper too close to the edge A call from the dark Brings out a saving spark An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? “My Decadence was just for you Though you’d never care what I’ve been through Enter the world were empathy is clandestine A world created by you, just for me What’s Lying in my heart is why You want to through the stone” I call your name towards nightfall’s reign But they take you so far away A dark angel so divine Cursed by Eden’s heart I will avenge every tear An Exodus from her Pain Her Life Spent breathing in Shame A Shadow Call breaks the Silence Am I the one to blame? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don't you know Deirdre never said wrong? Don't you know Deirdre's gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone? Don’t you know Deirdre’s gone?


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

The Murder Of One Lead To Another

The Murder Of One Lead To Another


My death caused yours. I left without a fight like I had all those times before. Murder by my own self-indulgence. Looking how I had left you to your own devices, if I would had known that would be the cause of your death would I have been less self centered? Can you hear me singing to you as you slit your wrist and separate soul and body? Slowly slipping away as I sing the song of the 7 veils. I yearned for you, as you loved for me could we be the most perfect couple to die for selfish wish. What fools we are leaving this world just for a death we know nothing of. 
Stop! Return! Don’t leave me just yet! Are the words I hear as I return to living breathing state, I was returned back to this world? For you I could live on, for you I could die by your side, for you I would make you live forever with me. I was murder, you slit your wrist but in the moment of leaving this world we both was called back by the body we left behind. We came back hand and hand together to stay side by side. I was murder you slit your wrist, but in that last moment I came back for you and you came back for me. Did you see it our nearly over soul ready to be devoured and consumed by our greed? 
I was murder, as you slit your wrist. We tried to destroy our suffering and we nearly destroyed our bond. My death led to your death but in our final moment we were called back to this unforgivable world. Murder by self-indulgence, suicide of a broken heart, which was our ways out of this world. Thank you for calling me back.


Details | Chant Royal | |

UNFORTUNATE LOVE

UNFORTUNATE LOVE
Once more it's morning and I greet the dawn,
waking to feelings I've known,
breathing the fragrance that's lingering on
throughout a lifetime alone;

splinters of sunshine are drifting through blinds,
revealing dust I breathe in,
dancing through flashes, and somehow reminds
of things that never have been;

I hear a song and it's what I've dreamed of,
outside my window they mourn,
I'd face the morning, but I need a shove,
for this poor heart badly torn;

unfortunate dove, why is it you sing,
outside my window each day?
It's a reminder of what life won't bring,
mourning dove, don't fly away;

once more it's morning and I hear the dove
all of my life is a sin,
it's just the way of unfortunate love,
but I still dream now and then.
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa


Details | Verse | |

I blame me

I blame me for all my mistakes
I blame me for all the rejection and heartache
I blame me for all the times I stayed silent 
and should have started and earthquake
with my words
I should have spoken up when I had the chance
now all those thoughts are wasted
unspoken, unheard

I blame me when my husband touches me 
and I feel the hands of a predators pounce
And I blame me when the pressure it on
because all I had to do was shout out and renounce His name
Lord, help me to get rid of the shame

I blame me for my loneliness
I blame me for my feelings of lust
I blame me when I look at myself and see absolute disgust
I blame me when I shut down - unsure of who to trust
At times not even sure if I really know how to love

I blame me when my kids are crying out sick
because when I brought them here
I knew that this world was unfit
Yet overpowered by my love for them 
I became more and more protective
So I blame myself in advance for their sadness
when they finally see that the world is not objective

I blame me for those nights I can't rest
Wondering if my consciousness has finally realized
that I have done my best
to stay positive and have good intentions
So I blame myself when I give in to temptations and my human inhibitions
and begin to feel ashamed of myself
I begin to feel like I don't have enough strength to love myself
because
good things don't happen for me
So I blame me for my thinking and feelings of worthlessness

It's a big world and my lonely soul has no more confidence
I have nothing
I have given up 
and so I blame me for my incompetence and my soul's rut


Details | Couplet | |

GOODBYE

The leaves are crying 
Winter takes charge

The daylight is gone 
Quietness takes place

The church bell is ringing goodbye 
Angels are singing welcome

The time is getting high 
Check out what is left behind 

So quicker than thought 
Yet a life is gone 

Everyone will go this journey 
Time unknown to anyone is the reason for this goodbye in tears


Details | Rhyme royal | |

I miss You

Even though you’re gone for a year now, I dream every night of running into you,
I wish there was something like a friendship subscription that I could renew
I miss talking dirty, I miss acting flirty, for around you I was always very perky,
We weren't friends, we weren't more, bond we shared was anything but quirky
I’d come alive thinking about us, your bad boyish charm had gotten to me very strong,
Winking slyly you’d talk about guitar, other chicks, fantasies and I gladly played along
Gradually you aroused desire in me, you too said, to me you were physically drawn
You would readily take your chances whenever we met, a tight hug, a gentle brush
I’d get overwhelmed with feelings; I was convinced you were more than a stupid crush

Even though you weren't in love, you said you were attracted, u didn't know why
Like a hopeless romantic, I was all set to take the plunge hoping you’d come by   
Visiting me on your last day in town, you came close and I could feel your heart race
You made me sit on your lap and for a moment you did nothing but blissfully gaze
Already stunned by the move, I felt number as I saw this naughty twinkle in your eyes, 
You leaned and kissed, damn I thought what if I am no good, all I could feel was butterflies
I was cold, clueless it was my first time, I panicked thinking you wouldn't take it all right 
Talking about it was way easier so you were led on, but now you thought I was acting uptight
Helplessly I watched you let go of me, I wish I could express how lost I felt since then
Without saying much you withdrew realizing little how much on you I’d come to depend 

Even though you didn't take the high road, I still wish I could recreate the setting,
Live up to your expectations, go wild doing all things you had in mind without fretting 
For we were Best friends for 5 years, I genuinely hoped you’d give me another chance
Be by my side & tenderly make love to me, besides singing as we do some dirty dance
Reality struck me soon, as days passed no call, no message, you were no longer keen   Cuz you buried all the feelings, totally unfazed, and brought another girl into the scene

Even though I am finding it hard to get closure, I wish she loves you best in every way
As for me, I just pray our fond memories together keep me going through the day!


Details | Couplet | |

A Whisper In The Dark

                                      Lost in the rain, I did't see your smile...
                                Tugging on the strings of my heart for a while...
                                     I reach my hands through the darkness... 
                                     Clenching and holding all that's endless...
                                  I try to scream but whispers steal my voice...
                                 And only silence and blindness are my choice...
                             Like a drop of rain that never reaches the ground...
                             My cries of desperation fall to a all to similar sound...


Details | Romanticism | |

Betrayal

Love is betrayal
A knife in the heart.
A stone that breaks my bones
Love is betrayal,
that lies to you about dreams of care and kindness,
but stabs you in the back
with disloyality
when you are not looking.

Is it possible for a writer to face so much heartbreak?
Is it possible to be faced with so much pain,
that if I had a penny for every time I'd had my heartbroken
I'd be a millionaire five times over.
It is true,
I am not lying to you;
why should I?

Love is betrayal
I can't take the pain anymore
to feel such pain, I'd rather whether just ask the Gods
to strike me down with painless and peaceful death,
and sleep as the faceless faces come and place lilacs
and roses upon my chamber of the dead.
What killed this lonesome writer, who loved everyone,
but was showed no love before?
I heard he died of a broken heart,
and that was what it was... A broken heart.

Love is betrayal,
trust me
for I cannot waste a single moment more
feeling this pain deep in my heart
that tears at my soul and heart with shapened talons.
Keep sleeping, with your eyes so blind,
can't you see what you are doing to me?
If you'd feel my pain, you'd sit down with me and weap.
It is easy to read these wordless words, that probably have no meaning to you.
To me this is poetry that sings songs of sorrow,
that fuses my heart together and plays songs of saddness
as I sit in a lonesome cell, praying for betrayal to leave,
leaving not a single trace of its existence.

Love is betrayal,
a knife stabbed deep in the heart.
A stone that is thrown at my mirror of transperanecy.
Can you see the pain that love has given me?
I was brought up to believe love is a magical thing,
a true feeling that makes you think diffrently about strangers.
Strangers are strange, with blind eyes
they cannot see what they do too me,
when they blindly stab away at my heart with their heated blades.

Love is a betrayal
that goes behind your back
and laughs at your sorrowed soul,
and as you turn to them all, they come all with smiles and hugs.
Once I turn again they laugh again,
and take their blade and stabs me in the back.
And I cry, but no one stops and listens,
No one cares, truely cares for my sorrow.
So, I wipe away my tears
remove the knives from my heart,
and I walk down the lonesome boulevards
Listening to the sorrow cries of lovers kissing on park benches.
Then I slowly awake from this dream,
but I cannot, for this dream is not in a surrealist piece of work,
for it is realism at its best.

Love is betrayal... love


Details | Verse | |

In a corner

In a corner, all forlorn,
He crouches and he waits.
In a corner all forlorn,
He trembles and he waits.
In a corner all forlorn,
He hears the stairs creak.
In a corner all forlorn,
He sobs and he waits.
In a corner all forlorn,
He's made to play the game.
Every night it is the same, so,
In a corner all forlorn,
He crouches and he waits.

I just got a very strong gut feeling to write this for children everywhere May God enfold and protect them from all harm .

© Dave Timperley 2012


Details | I do not know? | |

Whispers In A Cursing Wind

Whispers in a cursing wind
Anger in stormy skies
Rain falling like mournful tears
Fear in the heart
Panic and torment
in the mind.

Peter Dome.Copyright.2012.


Details | Lyric | |

Storm In The Wind

(Oh Girl),
You're like the storm and the wind, 
Tearin up the city and breaking the 
trees, 
Whenever I'm around you girl, 
I get weak, 
You're breaking my heart, 
And tearing up me, 
(Chorus) 
Breaking my heart, 
Breaking my heart,  (Tearing up me)
(Ooh girl)
I know we will make it, 
Even though the wind is blowing 
careless at me, 
I can't do this without you girl, 
I'll get weak, 
Stop breaking my heart, 
Bringing me to my knees,
(Chorus) 2x 
Even though the love hurricane is 
blowing careless at me, 
I can't do this without you girl, 
I'm too weak, 
You breaking my heart, 
You're the storm of the week. 


Details | Verse | |

Darkness

Darkness is like my mirror Shattered like blackened glass Reflecting broken bits of me As hours, days and years go past Darkness is like a fiery mess Endless, cold and without mercy Coals and ashes, shriveled up Tomorrow remains unseen Light seems to burn my world From the dullest of all dull candles Like touching a golden ember Its splendour you cannot handle Darkness is a force of life The only one I’ve ever known I’m scared of what I do not know And what I do not understand Darkness is like an old friend Lingering, forever remembered The darkest of all my days were bright From you my light emerged I cannot think of a time well spent That didn’t include you in it A world so unforgiving One in which we did not fit Darkness is a battle Not to be won but only to lose You fight for everything you love And get defeated at the time they choose Darkness is a house Standing alone and desolate No one wants to live there Doing so fills them with hate Blackness is a colour A shade of the darkest emotion The feeling you get when you feel empty Just going through the motions Black is endless and cold And all I’ve ever known But I cannot tear myself away For fond of it I’ve grown


Details | Free verse | |

Look Around You

Look around you
The world is already at an end
When the Mayans said that the world was going to end
They didn't mean a world destroyed by flare, quake, or salvation
But rather a world full of broken relation
That possibly, it wasn't a literal interpretation
But a figurative analysis of this falling nation
Are we not all the same people, the same human
But we'd rather live a life divided
A life divided by the color of our skin  
What is war but greed to keep the amount of money left for our kin
Life is no longer cherished
The earth used for our own experiments until its resources perished
Genocide, assassinations, and murder supported for a "better cause"
Who are we to judge the abominations of others when there is flaw in our own laws
We continue to redefine what is socially accepted
Making a gateway for divorce, abortion, and legal prostitution
Rather than fixing what has been so psychologically rooted into the minds of this generation
We look to cover up past mistakes with a newly corrupted translation  
Girls look for sex because of a lack of love from their fathers
Society tells boys to make use of this advantage 
Treat girls as objects rather than human beings with emotions
And we later ask ourselves
How did these boys and girls ever become such bad parents
Our government shouts democracy
But isn't that really just a cover up to keep us appeased
It's most convenient when the majority stays quiet 
Because only those in power can say that this earth's a heaven
To the majority, this earth is already a hell
The human race is so arrogant
Believing that they are the most superior in this world
That they can live without the mercy of God who should be in control
Look around you
The world is already at an end


Details | I do not know? | |

Good Morning, Apocalypse Now : A Tribute to a Vietnam Veteran

Untitled 5
(My Uncle: Good Morning, Apocalypse Now)

My uncle doesn't speak much
about Vietnam or the stuff
he witnessed when he 
was just a boy. See,
he likes to drive the back roads fast 
and honk at random cars that pass.
His friendly gestures always lead to how
he grew up compared to kids now. 

Jumping and racing trains on the tracks
became dodging bullets and carrying his buddy on his back.
The marshes and dirt valleys here
became the forests and trenches of the military frontier. 

Last year, my sister donned his jacket
a fatigued fatigue that hung in his closet. 
In color and memory darkened,
kept out of sight for fear it would harken
the PTSD he's stuggled to avoid. 

He saw his brothers, young like him
to Vietnam succumb
while on American soil
and he promised he would never speak,
for fear his stomach would coil, 
when remembering rice - a dish he no longer enjoys.
And there's no orange on his clothes to remind him of the agent that destroyed.

When he speaks a calm 
"Good morning", I wonder if he's thinking of Vietnam
or if he knows
that I admire his strength and 
bravery and how 
he continually fights against 
the "Apocalypse Now".


Details | Epigram | |

A STRANGE BEDFELLOW

Woman Is Insulted,
By Challenging His Manhood;
Getting His Buddies To Rape,
Was His Way Of Reinforcing.

He, Not a Man,
Force Himself On a Feminist.
Give a Valid Reason While Rape.
Feminist Tempt Masculine

By Their Proactive Dressing.
Insubordination To Human Nature.
Could It Be That
Masculine Is Weak?

By The Sight Of Bear Breast?
Victims Feel Ashamed And Unclean.
FEMA Seventeen Events Took Place.
Recurring In Nightmare First Man Exploded Inside Her.

It Was Her First Encounter.
Screaming She Was,
Thought Masculine Was Urinating On Her.
Bath I Must Have Said For Years.

Dirty She Felt And Wasn’t Enough Water To Cleanse Her Body.
Rapist Defilement And Innocence Body.
Fellow, Who Should Be Ashamed?
And Feel Unclean And Unfit For Civilized Society?


Details | Lyric | |

who's future is it anyway

i see a future of darkening days
where children are treated as vermin to slay
adults possessions are held paramount
where only talk of money spill's from their mouth's.
i feel a destiny of communities broke
suspicion's are cast at the few kind words spoke
people of power prefer things this way
technology rises as intelligence fades.
those few left willing to speak for the weak
are told that their futures are futile and bleak.
the only thing worse than this future i say
is the fact that this future is really today.

i hear the rumbling's of a gathering storm
as the lightning strikes fear of a terrible new dawn
stars in the sky are dull in their light
for they feel the shame of watching earth's plight
as we all watch it come furious and fast
not one of us learning the lessons of past
so shelter yourself in money and gold
and hope that your god's will rekindle your souls
the devil is stirring in each of our hands
as we are the labour that works to his plans
and the worst thing of all that causes dismay
is the future i write of is really today

but fear not my friends for all are not foe's
suffering will fade as redemption comes close
the devils and demons that laugh loud and sneer
will turn on their heels and finally face fear
children of suffrage will rise with the sun
and learn nothing of pain for it shall finally be gone
the dawn of free love will exude once again
crash into the present like a white knighted ghost train
and if anyone tell's you to live life how they say
ask them who's future it is anyway


Details | Rispetto | |

Firearm fatalities

Firearm  fatalities

Look at what recent media reports state
Awful, ironical, amusing  at once
Folks at the mercy of firearms in the STATES
Which fights terror, left and right, with booming guns.

Why not, at gun control laws, have a relook?
In Oak Creek and elsewhere, what a toll it took
Putting  US civilian lives more at risk
Than those in the war-torn  Afghan and Iraq.

7th Aug 12


Details | Free verse | |

Me My soulmate

I , i in a blue sea
In the sea i am flying
Sometimes on sky i am swimming 
Down on earth i am in dark 
In a cave i am searching for light 
In the noise i am searching for silence 
Then i go to forest 
Under a tree i find myself 
I look in my eyes , the eyes which are full of fear
I look at my lips with a smile.
I touch my face 
When i touch my face 
Suddenly i feel a hand on my shoulder 
When i turn around, its an other me standing infront of me
When i see my eyes , in my eyes i see strength 
But in my hands i see blood
When i see the blood
Everything fade in black
I am on sky with a white wolf staring at me
In wolf's eyes i find myself 
I follow the wolf
Everything fade in white
I find myself in a room 
I am on my bed nothing around
So calm it is 
I am too alone
I thought it was a dream
But when i look at my hands
I find the blood 
In my dream i met the reality
I met different faces of me..
The reality which i am hiding inside
Hiding me, me as my soulmate...


Details | Ballad | |

The forest of grief

The forest of grief:

At night I can hear the pain filled screams coming from the forest of grief. Longing, despair, and terror seeps in from the thick tree line into my bedroom window.

Their inhuman wails send chills down the nap of my neck rendering me unable to move. 

“What horrible events accrued inside this desolate place?”

No vegetation, growth, or life exist.
Only the suffering from distant pasts.
Time itself seems to be halted by the walls of the dense forest that shelter its ghostly inhabitants.

“Do they know death?
Do they know of the life they once led or can they even hear their own horror filled cries?

I do, I feel every heart breaking emotion as I lay in wait for dawn to break.”

There is no rest for them or me, the lonely women who tends the forest of grief.


Details | Blank verse | |

Situations

It's a complicated situation that I'm facing.
Between broken dreams and death planning conversations.
Constantly asking myself why I feel out of Gods hands into the arms of satin.
Praying for life after death but deep down questioning continuation.
I weary from all the back stabbing and sins and it mostly generates from my
family and friends.
Please lord tell me will this pain every end.
Can I ever walk with you and make Amen’s?
Cause only you can ever know where my soul really been.
The devils getting closer and he is coming in the forms of many men.
I hate to say it but I opened up the doors and let them in.
They pass me the weed and beer to through off my concentration.
Go to job interviews the next day say words but don't know the pronunciation.
By DNA have a father but mentally there is no relation.
It's sad to say it's darker by the day.
It took two buildings to fall before the nation united and prayed.
After the fact Mr. Bush send eighteen year old to Iraq to be living in their last days.
These are my situations





Details | Rhyme | |

Hanging by a Thread

Oh how I wish to be weightless And I wouldn't have to be here The threat of ever falling down Would all but disappear My fingers wouldn't be slipping I'd float aimlessly through the air I would never have to worry About the trouble everywhere But alas its here I'm hanging As if i were a maiden dead It's slipping fast, I'm slipping- I'm hanging by a thread


Details | Didactic | |

DIRTY DEEDS

DIRTY DEEDS
Do not hunt me I prithee
Oh my dirty deed
Can I ever be free?
O! You are my fear as I flee

When, can I ever be again brave?
My sins call me to the grave
A flint is as good my face
My only regret started in a day

Not even believe or religion could cure
Can my hand ever be innocent and pure?
My fear I will face to the brim
Again I can have peace in dream









Details | Lyric | |

Junkie

you know its wrong 
but you do it to overpower the pain
not strong enough to stay away from it
you would die without it
in its presence your heart knows no shame
even if you try to win the fight
your heart will overrule your mind
Theres nothing you can do
its chained to you
you cant get free
look what this drug did to you


Details | Pantoum | |

Breathe

Suffocated, strangled, I struggle.
Drowning a hundred feet under sea,
Wrapped in an abyss of darkness
I hope to breathe.

Drowning a hundred feet under sea,
The swim toward the surface never seem to end,
I hope to breathe,
Gasping for air I desperately miss.

The swim toward the surface never seem to end
I could see the sky, almost feel its warmth,
Gasping for air I desperately miss,
I stretch out my hand as far as I can.

I could see the sky, almost feel its warmth,
Wrapped in an abyss of darkness,
I stretch out my hand as far as I can,
Suffocated,strangled, I struggle.


Details | Haiku | |

Anxious and sweating

Anxious and sweating
Running away from the crash
She feared for her life


Details | Free verse | |

A trauma that won't go away

I still  think the world of you,
 Just so you know.
Spaces between my fingers, 
 Where yours used to go.
Your arms that held my waist,
 Are replaced with aching pains.
I put myself in my cocoon,
 So time will heal my open wounds.
But the scars still remain,
 A trauma that won't go away.
Since we've been apart,
 I've been writing only the words of a broken heart. 


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Too Young To Be So Old

Too young to be so old,a child of five,
Yet a man so old, a childhood gone.
I hear his pain in his dreams at night.

I feel his fear in the tears upon his cheeks,
When he reaches for the love that isn,t there.
I feel the emptiness in his embrace.

He holds inside a pain so very deep,
A fear so strong no one can reach.
His eyes have seen,his body felt,

More in life that many adults.
How does he face the things that hide inside?
Where does he turn when the tears come down?

Left behind at a tender age to face the questions mommy made,
When she chose to leave him behind and not to hold him tight.
I have heard him say," If I had been better,

Maybe she would have loved me and stayed,"
He watched her beaten,watched her cry.
The choice she made was to pass him by.

He bottles the pain so deep inside,
Many a night I held him tight,
When the darkness came and took his light.

One day he will see just how much it hurts,
When Poppa and I can't fix what hurts inside.
As I look back and recall the tears that came,

When to us the question came," Do we have to go back to her?
There was nothing we could do ,but take them home
We must hold the tears and pain inside.

He was much too young to be so old.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Chiming Winter

She breathes a white mist. Her soul shivered,
Her heart now dissipates on ice.
The snow falls silent, a note unheard.
Belief falters of the Jesus Christ.
It's hot; The salty beads tease her
But her cares are frozen still.
Her naivete of life has dispersed;
In a soundless second, her hope is killed.

The colours are raw.

It is winter now where it was summer then.
Her face is dead. Covered in frost.
She cursed her flaws in heat, now winter made its descent.
The cold wind blows colder,
Her aspirations gone dead pale.
What she feared most held onto her
The ice consumes her warmth; a freezing veil.

"Jesus...why Jesus?"

The sweat is overpowering.
Between her legs dries under the sun.
She hears the melody of his belt singing.
Her scream doesn't bother...her reality cannot be undone.

"Why me Lord? Why me who never sins?"
Silence. It could have been worsened.
Praise be to Him that your life is now ruined
Instead of it stripped away and taken.

Praise be to God for He is good.


Details | Rhyme | |

CRACKED


I try not to remember
that night we shattered,
Teddy was dismembered
and trust scattered,
One stormy September
Innocence was battered.

Mother became unhinged,
Sometimes darkness just falls,
She went on a frenzied binge,
Smashed pictures on a wall,
My baby sister cringed,
then over shards we crawled.


	There are passages in this book
	Just too hard to read,
	When I take a closer look
	I see some pages bleed. 


Begged a weeping girl,
Please, mommy, just leave one,
Sucking a thumb, tugging a curl,
Souvenirs of days in the sun...
destroyed... then the mallet hurled
and tiny feet had to run.

In the thick haze of broken glass,
I gathered love close to me,
Under blankets, I held a small class,
Taught our fear, told it stories
as a monster walked fast
the angry halls of insanity. 

	There are passages in this book
	Just too hard to read,
	When I take a closer look
	I see some pages bleed. 

I left destruction, found abuse,
Rage wears a thin disguise,
Something was lost, somebody used,
We learn to shield our telling eyes,
Promises were given, each a ruse, 
Beware a man with bedroom lies.

One day hands found my neck,
When I said that I would leave,
You’re mine to keep, mine to break,
Maybe, baby, I might grieve.
I knew then I’d had all I could take,
Squeeze, I said, ‘cause nobody cracks me.

Left with nothing but my name,
Life deals blows; I’ve had my share,
I write my words without blame
but these bags are heavy and thread bare,
I still pick up pieces, a losing game,
Understand me, if you dare but...

	There are passages in this book
	Just too hard to read,
	When I take a closer look
	I see some pages bleed.

	Pages bleed
	They bleed
	I bleed.

	Take a closer look.




*Dedicated to Debbie Guzzi, for being a friend, revealing her own painful memory and enabling me to release this. Every word is true.

*Song written for Melissa Etheridge


Details | Lyric | |

My Dad Another 24th


Days go past us, as do winds of season,
But never the days and years
That get stuck in some ear and age,
That engulf us like mirages in a desert.

One such mirage in my life is of my Dad,
Always before me, waiting for me;
Yet I never reach in time to be near;
So near to me, yet so far away.

Never did he forsake me, in life,
Never for moment, never for a day;
Always beside me in my hours of need —
A dear friend, a true companion, a great dad.

He suggested the best books to me,
But never pushed them into my hands;
A mere suggestion about the inputs —
The next thing I know, I have my hands full.

He sang tunes soothing, melodious,
But never forced me to listen to any songs;
A mere suggestion about the notes —
My passion for music was born!

His acquaintances, colleagues, all friends;
Value of friends in life is priceless;
A friend is a cool morning breeze,
Surround life with friends, my list’s endless.

Never fear life’s rollercoaster ride;
No problem is without a solution:
Life is too short to fret and fear;
And so, I tried, yet fear engulfed me.

He came back into my life in many forms,
Beating death; guided me with many a face:
As friends, notes of music, verses from books —
He never left me and my life, my Dad.


Details | Free verse | |

Songs of Sorrowed Hearts

What makes this world go around?
What makes Death walk the Earth
and God sit on his throne and watch over us?
What makes love go around with such favour
and strut along side lonesome avenues?
What does a widow, a motherless child, a Vietnam veteran
and a boy who has had his fare share of heartbreaks,
all have in common with each other?

They were all promised a beautiful life,
free for all to love, free from the pain of betrayal
and anger.
We are what make the world go around,
I am the poet who sits and looks at love walk down the street,
and watch the blind eyes stare deep in my soul.
I am the poet, that feels the pain of a heart torn in two.
He his the poet who writes of smiles, to forget the frowns
and tears.
She is the poetress that writes of her success,
in order to forget her past that tortured her soul,
now he and she walk together writing poetry
sharing their love and smiles with the world.
But with smiles, also comes frowns,
with hearts full of love, comes hearts full of sorrow,
and someone has to stay behind and write of the bad
has to write and compose the songs of the sorrowed hearts.

We are all given love,
but it takes some whole lives to understand
the dark mystery that tags along with beautiful love.
Someone has to suffer the pain,
someone has to sacrifice his or her happiness,
so another poet can feel the beauty in happiness and pain.
I am willing to sacrifice my time and heart,
for my fellow poet to feel the smiles grow on their faces
and feel love uplift their heart,
while the black cancer tears apart mine.
I will go on, with what is left of my heart and smile,
and go into my room of creativity
and compose the songs of sorrowed hearts
for future poets, like that came before me.


Details | Free verse | |

the nightmares over but the bottles empty

The nightmare is finally over 
haven't been this happy since I was
a kid uneffected by the wicked ways 
of this sad cold world maybe that's 
the answer to the big question 
why my lips are still sealed to a
beautiful bottle of jack I always 
drink my feelings away no matter
good or bad it's all the same 
I'm starting to think that my nightmare
isn't a nightmare at all it's just
a bad disease this must be the 
first step in fighting this demon 
because my thrist might just end
this short lived life of mine


Details | Free verse | |

Return To Dust

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

I'll See your face again
I swear it
No matter how far away they take you from me
Fading, Going Away, Don't be so afraid
Death is a Dream


The Cross Will Be lighter
Whisper the words
so sacred, so somber

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

A Fallen Angel looms over the lifeless stone
What Happened here must be true
I must live this life without you

Breaking the Silence
She began to Weep
The Epitaph ceasing to know 
We all must Return To Dust

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

After the Casket Falls
After your soul is called
After your final breathe is drawn
I'll meet you again

The solitude is euphoric as an illusional clock
Of argentine fears swallow the last soul
Goodnight black rose of eternity
Goodnight dearest gothic phantom
Tonight The Earth consumes me




**Special Thanks To My Writing Partner Cayla Carr**


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 3-

My eyes
Witness your departure
My eyes
Are dripping with hopelessness…
My eyes start to blur…
Melancholy put me under pressure…
Is there a cure to my disease? 

You don’t see
The shards of hope that once brought us back together
Just let me search for safety
I’m strong enough to realize that I’m no longer
The weakest prey out there…

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me whimpering like a distraught puppy left on the train tracks?

I’m close to my demise…save me and take me home

Nourish me…and be my beloved friend

Will this friendship last forever?

Hopefully it has no end

Will this cheerful moment help us get along with each other?

Because of you…I feel the need to run 
I keep an eye on you – I worry that you’ll hurt yourself again
Because of you…My freedom is nearly gone
I don’t wanna be caught off guard again
Because of you…EYE can’t picture a solution for our vexing dilemma 
Because of you…eye can’t focus on my long-term goal 

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you sense that I’m giving in to failure? 
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…I can’t endure 
The hardships that you place upon me…
Could you boost up my confidence to overcome 
My atrocious anxiety? 

I’m just waiting for some sun
To keep me in good hands…
To strengthen me with perseverance …
I’m just waiting until His son
Leads the world outtah Egypt and reveals to us…
His radiance…His dazzling Kingdom – 
Vibrant with glee

Your undying sympathy dawns upon us
I’m overflowing with indescribable joy  
You’re a candle in the night…
We meet eye to eye…
What a sight…what a precious sight


Details | Verse | |

Herioin

He wraps it around her arm
In need for some repairs
Tighter and tighter
She likes it , like this
Old woman ,a little sick
Needing her medication

Mummy
Mummy
(yells the little boy)

Silence, child
Mummy is broken down
(in her silent voice)

Give me some ice
Stand by my side
And open your eyes
(in a roar)

Walk by my side
Cure my poison
(in her yowl voice)

As , she descends from this world
Drops to the floor
(bang , boom)
(bang , boom)

Poor little soul
Little boy so scared
Heart so sorrowful
As , he speaks

Mummy , mummy
Wake , wake
Mummy , mummy
Wake
Wake-up
Give me back my ice
Give me back my happy dust


No more
Tighter and tighter 
Mummy
Mummy
Why like this
Without a chance to reminisce
Reminisce my thoughts threw your sickness

Mummy come and listen,  to my screams
For this ice has me, so confuse on life
Confuse about you
This sickness, I see in your eyes everyday
As, I watch you fall on our kitchen floor
Mummy wake
Wake mummy, wake
For I love you , I do


Details | Rhyme | |

Open Your Wrists

Open your wrists
Let the blood leak out
In a crimson river of tears

Allow it to fall
Upon tile grounds
Making the color unclear

Open your mouth
Let a scream slip out
And echo against lonely walls

Allow it to linger,
To fill quiet airs
Then back in your ears, let it crawl

Open your mind
Let it cluelessly wander
With nothing clouded in your brain

Allow it to focus
On life or on death
And if scars will forever remain

Open your heart
Let it never forgive
Those who've caused wounds so deep down

Allow it to rage
Against misunderstanding,
Let it yell the loudest silent sound

Open your wrists
Let the pain leak out
In a crimson river of sorrow

Allow it to fall
Upon off-white grounds
And remember there's always tomorrow


Details | Narrative | |

''Runaway Wanted''

I see my breathe.
Night has fell upon a frost.
Gods' chill lye now on my shoulders.
Alone yet not.
Silence now before the icey rain.
Surrender as my nervous teeth chatter.
For the warmth of a home is all that is desired.
My empty haven.
But,I am filled with a heart that is full.
Want nor wait.
Arms now cover me like a blanket.
Gust of wind has carried your unwaivered heart.
Candles lit a way to find what is left.
Merely an image of what once was.
Break down into a sob.
Remains frozen solid as climate has taken its' vengence.
I suffer no more,weak body.
Now only in spirit.
Shall I rest.


Details | Lyric | |

Lunar Love

Can this ever stop The world is blacked by the lunar love All the tides have gone undone The seas beckon us with their rage Will they ever calm The mist covers our sight The storm comes Her eyes are the color of dyed blue With her raven hair and crimson lips She sleeps quietly waiting for the innocence of me But I've already put her in vain And tossed her aside I've already condoned my belovéd The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love I cry but the sun cant hear Do I exist? This eclipse took over Now I'm left to face it all Left in the dark where can we go Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have Fly away from the scene The tides are blind from the madness Even to the mountains they'll kiss The storm is too much The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The ghosts are tangled in my dreams They play with what was meant to be forgotten But I know there must be a away To find the closure But so lost are we So lost I've been Save yourself from the downfall How close are we to the edge This is what the rage has done This is what the sin has done The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game


Details | Free verse | |

Aeonia part 2

 Aeonia! Eve! whoever now you may be... what was it he (they) wanted of you ever to be? 

   "Bewitching WENCH!"- dare ye tempt the virtues of virtuous men!
Words turned to black sludge of many tongues wagging, blaming and convincing her.of sins- shadow always inviting her, giving her no choice.

Rapture Aeonia!
   Rapture Aeons!
      Rapture Aeonia!

   Impaled upon the spike of shame, apart torn, the tiny beads of herself come together... magnetically, magically clinging together as an army of a tiny promise- once told to her, a tiny escapade... escape whispered so long ago.
   Open your eyes Aeonia, after millennias untold of distaste.
Open your eyes!
   Allow your sagging, savaged breasts to be bountiful once again- 
breasts once compared to mountains of plenty, to celebrate!
Your blackened shell, proof of the fires of rage-
   Aeoina Rise!
      Aeon RISE!
   Aeonia rise to the dawn of a new day!
  
   Eviscerate the evil brought upon you by demon Man. A beast once hidden to shadows unbidden. His power is a farce!

   Raper, reaper, killer, user. ****er of all things good, of all things alive and all things true.  Torturer of golds, silvers and blues. Cast your shadows, cast them I say!
   Faker, liar, betrayer of all things of nature and good. Gluttonous for your own selfish means.
  
A. Green


Details | Lyric | |

Dream Liberty -- Butterfly Effect

Butterflies quietly fluttering In my soul Transforming my life Morphing into something so unreal So Different, silently beautiful So hidden and lost A fire dances on my pale iced face Lively prancing as each sheds more light The embers glow in your singed shadow Was this eternity meant to last forever? I couldn't believe that a simple flap of butterfly wings could cause such a storm, a storm in my mind The simplest things causing the greatest of pains Why cant I be one of them Forever and free I'll be with my dream of liberty Punishing the dead Can you never let anything go Is it all to hard to see That your bias takes you on a blinded delusion Where all they plunder is hate Terror is a virtue When becoming a king So cut off the strings of my life With your power And you will see the strength of the dream of Liberty I couldn't believe that a simple flap of butterfly wings could cause such a storm, a storm in my mind The simplest things causing the greatest of pains Why cant I be one of them Forever and free I'll be with my dream of liberty I couldn't believe that a simple flap of butterfly wings could cause such a storm, a storm in my mind The simplest things causing the greatest of pains Why cant I be one of them Forever and free I'll be with my dream of liberty


Details | Free verse | |

An Emptiness Inside

~An Emptiness Inside~

Right now I'm sitting here
Staring into space
Feeling so all alone

As tears begin to fill my eyes
And I begin to cry
My heart suddenly feels an emptiness inside
That here lately I just cannot hide

If only you were here to hold me,
I'd feel so protected...
With you by my side

My world feels so sad and blue
Feeling as though I'm forever going to lose you
Our love I thought was forever true?

You told me just the other night
That I was only a simple friend
I then began to believe that our relationship
Was only just pretend

I've pleaded with you to help make
This relationship of ours last
Baby, I beg of you...
Let's not dwell on the past

I'm so sorry if I have hurt you
But never forget my love for you
Was always true

Baby, I pray that I can 
Mend your broken heart
But for now I will continue to look forward
Day by day
Pray continually...
That we never, ever drift apart


Details | Free verse | |

Love is a Four Letter Word

When will I learn to anticipate Love's keen and painful sting?
Penetrating deep within my chest and spreading it's poisen.
High, ever so high, only to fall again and to seize in agony.

Oh, Love, why do you trick me with a veil as deceitful as infatuation?
How you held me close, and embraced me with your affection,
Only to push me away and shatter my heart again.

I cannot pick up my pieces, for the shards are many in number,
They litter the foor around me as I sink to my knees,
Staining my legs with glittering, ruby glass.

I crouch over the jagged diamonds,
And wish my tears to mend my glass heart back togther.
I'm the Cinderella without a glass slipper.

Instead of fleeing the Prince for fear of midnights final tone,
I fell from his gaze.. and fell under my drowning tears.
Can he see his Princess cannot surface the waves of her fear and depression?


Details | Rhyme | |

Blood and Tears

words can hurt
words can heal
no words can speak the pain you feel
just a child
I watched you die
forever haunted by your  cry
no mercy
no justice
for this life so bleak
no mercy 
no justice
for you could not speak
I watched the life drain out of you
just a child
what could I do?
I watched you bleed
I saw the tears
but humans think naught of your fears
my arms around you
I held you tight
the pain will stop
it will be allright
they pulled you from your mama on that sunny day
laughing at your screams
just as I came ot to play
the knife was sharp
but he did not cut deep
they left you to bleed
and us both to weep
a tear streamed down your frightened face
this memory I cannot erase
for a moment I wished I could take your place
I kept my arms around you
until your heart stopped beating
later I felt sick as I watched the monsters eating


Details | Epyllion | |

Restless

Here I am, restless in my bed again.
Wondering if I ever cross your busy mind.
Wondering if the sight of your face will ever light up my eyes again.
I am afraid of losing you.
Afraid that I will never touch you again.
I miss the memories we made.
How we made love everyday.
How every word you tell me comforts even the deepest fears I have.
I love you.
And because I love you I will justify how devoted I am to you.
Regardless of what happened, I will never give up on you.
I will never quit on the promise my love made to you.
Your love for me I could never repay,
And someday you will see that we were meant to be together.
We were meant to get married and have kids.
We were meant to live our lives with nothing but love to fall back on.
I love you.
And because I love you, here I am.
Restless in my bed again.
Wondering if I ever cross your busy mind.
Wondering how a perfect love can go wrong.
But I will never give up because I am in love.
I may falter, but I will never fail.
I am too persistent to fail on you.
You are my driving force, the reason I do my best.
But without you, I am lost. I cannot go on.
So I ask myself,
Why am I here restless in my bed again.
Wondering if I ever cross your busy mind.
And today I swear this vow.
I am not an angel but I am true.
I will always love you.


Details | Free verse | |

Impending Night

The impending night has fallen upon us
It woke with much persistence
Our hearts fled from its rage like a doe from a rifle
But the blast had already been made. . .

People fall like rain
The clouds are crestfallen with grief
And the darkness has no mercy 
Rain soaks...leaves an impact
The falls are devastating...

She was so strong, like a diamond she shined
Only to burn away and be one with the grime
I never saw her go
But the angry darkness of her essence—strangely glows...

He choked on his words, his memory
Like a child swallowing a pill
It is sticking in our throats
Against our will
And the dose ever grows. . . 
 
Who will stop the night?
You wicked thing how achingly stormy you have become!
Rich in your light as it smothers you whole
Leaving the rest to the droll sound of its toll

She burned
As they watched in angry happiness
The smoke of her spirits filling our hearts
No expressions...heavy depressions 
He was left to melt and rebuild

His wick ignites—burns are second nature
Though images are hard to swallow
She still talks to our souls
Her story still to be told
Like diamonds never found

A flame of hope hovers
We remain instilled in the rot
The darkness smothers
Its heavy slumber always waking


Details | Lyric | |

What If Tomorrow Never Comes

I recall now the days when forever seemed but a short time The visits to the hospital, brought sad images to your mind She lay on a bed, cords all around her, no hair upon her head The cancer drove us crazy with worry tears and fright She was only a baby, I didn't get the chance to say goodbye Farewell until we meet again where you'll be waiting... waiting for tomorrow to come again. What if tomorrow never comes? How will I face the rising sun, when the moon is the only thing I can see? I need her here with me... The only loss I've ever known The only time that I've experienced this kind of sorrow... So what if tomorrow never comes? What if tomorrow never comes. And now I lie here thinking it through, memories flash through my head, memories of you Moments of a bittersweet time Reminiscing the days when you were mine The days when you were alive The tears come back to my eyes I feel the need to cry but nothing slides out I need to scream and shout, My emotions pour out as one, silently So what if tomorrow never comes? Reality in death is so hard to accept, I need my tomorrow to come... What if it never does? What if tomorrow never comes? How will I face the rising sun, when the moon is the only thing I can see? I need her here with me... The only loss I've ever known The only time that I've experienced this kind of sorrow... So what if tomorrow never comes? What if tomorrow never comes. Will tomorrow ever come? I just want to be awake when the moon becomes the sun I'm waiting here for you, in the darkness of the night. I wait still for you, forever the images will haunt my mind Tomorrow will come I'll soon be alright Tomorrow will come... Tomorrow has come... I can now see the sun.


Details | Ballad | |

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nothing gold can stay.
Sometimes u find it slips away,
Something close that u can touch,
But in the end it was to much,
Like a flood flowing through a city,
Life is hard when u live in pity,
Things may be good but turn bad,
Sometimes it makes u really sad,
Days and nights may go,
Just have to live life nice and slow,
Maybe somethings may not be right,
Its never good to pick a fight,
Sometimes u find it slips away,
Nothing gold can stay.


Details | Bio | |

My Stages of Love

It starts out as a small attraction Builds up to an intense infatuation You become in tune to everything she do Trying to make her smile when she feeling blue Her laugh brings a small heat to your chest Go to sleep and she's in your mind as you rest You've been hit with the arrow of cupid Back up before you do something stupid You talk but you talk less and less She likes you but as a friend at best You fall off and make her a stranger Realizing that your heart is in danger The two of you no longer communicate You try hard to force your love to relocate Rumor hits and you find out she got a man Of this you're not a enthusiastic fan Anger steps in and you go off on anyone Body light but your heart weighs a ton The bars in the gym seem so much lighter You want to fight but your not a fighter You no longer care about many things One female reduced you to fighting Athletic ability improved 10 fold Then a breakdown as your heart turns cold Soon you become useless Friends know something wrong but they clueless You feel pain, and intense depression Nose and eyes run and you blame it on a cold infection At last your close friends realize whats going on Tell you what you already know, To move on You look at them but you say nothing back Waiting for your emotions to come back Pain is long but nothing last forever You come back like the sun in stormy weather You laugh and kick it with your friends Until the stages of love happen all over again


Details | Rhyme | |

Relapse

I look into your eyes and I fall into you.
Wonder if I'm dreaming, is this really true?
Pleasure at it's finest, you're my addiction.
Perfection in its finest depiction.
Constriction, you leave me without breath.
Everything fades far out of existence, I go deaf.
You're my drug, my one and only high.
Impossible for me to ever say goodbye,
But you left me like a thief in the night.
And here I am now falling from the steepest of heights,
Trying to figure out what went wrong as I descend.
Did it mean anything or was it all just pretend?
Life has dealt me a sobering blow.
No longer are we the headliners of the show.
Life has robbed me of my prestige and has left me to rot,
Although time goes on and life gets better as I trot.
But then I see your face and the pain hits instantly,
Like a thousand bricks falling on top of me.
Don't know if this pain will ever leave me,
Relapse, forever a part of my destiny.


Details | I do not know? | |

Free

Closed eyes.
Deep breath.
Count to ten.
It's not the end.
A change. For the best.
I'm stronger.
I never needed you
I was just afraid.
I let the fear of being alone, Hold me down.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Emotional Hole

I did not find myself to be so important
So I ask my friends do I seem distant?
When I ask the question I had received an answer, Yes
So I think that made it clear that I had been not the best
I am a friend of a friend that talks so many things
That friend talks to much it is insane and insanity it brings
I do care, about my friends they are all good people
They tend to stand on their high steeple 
Today I find myself not so aware
Disbanding my fear of regret and care
Walking many different paths I see that I have found holes
It is the path that people choose to use to fuel their rage with coals
Coals are partially burnt wood or fossils a piece of fuel
It is the source of burden and fire a rage of emotions that stands cruel
It can be warm and caring, but it also can be baring
I just start to feel so low, below the ground I keep on staring
I reach for my friends so many times I feel so ignorant at times
Just once I feel I should not rely on them when feeling I can not find 
I dig my hole deeper and I can not climb out
For some reason I am just full of doubt
I care about so many things and what I have is confusion
One person should be all I should think about to get out of that illusion
My battle in my heart and mind is not at all so pleasant
I feel so alone in an island that is shaped like a crescent
My emotions is like coinciding with a diameter of the semicircle
Not a full emotion that is complete like a circle
My feelings is circular full of incomplete thoughts, so much deeper
I feel it will wake up my evil half a evil soul that is a sleeper
What question should I ask myself? to believe that I am not so alone
As I feel like a person who is deteriorating to the bone
I ask my friends the same question once again
I figure I should do it, to know what kind of feelings I should end
So many thoughts that come out of my feeling
I feel like my friends take, an emotional trauma of stealing
They ask me questions and I answer theirs
But when I need mine answered I feel burning inside like a flare
Are they even friends when they do not take me serious in anyway
Just put me in my hole cause I feel nothing in their will be getting in my way
It's just so simple to answer someones problem
I answer friends with beauty of a rose, but when they answer mine I get the stem
I know the stem is very important in life, with out it how can a rose be a rose
With a hole to put the root and stem in how can it grow
The words we speak I guess is like all natural things we reap and sow


Details | Rhyme | |

This Pain

I feel this pain,
That I can not tame.
I feel the emptiness,
That makes my life treasuries.
I did no wrong,
But I still cut long.
I have the sorrows,
That no one borrows.
Seeing it slip away,
Making my heart decay.
As it's devoured,
My heart sets on trial.
You made me who I am,
The strong being fan.
But as it slips beyond,
Where you can't go very long;
I sit and let my life betray,
Wishing I could save it for another day.
Why do I ruin it all,
When my love finally grows tall?
We were meant to be,
But our love got hung in a tree.
I can't help but say goodbye,
And sometimes;
I don't know why. 


Details | Lyric | |

Save Me From Desperation

It's been so long since I could Feel you, Hold You I'm wondering if it was Just an Illusion For love For me could Not be real Nobody could Love over The Borderline, not even I So if you ask you'll know why I silently began to cry I need you here, to hold me I'm so scared without You I just want to Sleep forever Never stray away far Save me From Desperation Never Say It wasn't meant to be I can't take this lie You Kill me With this So much I hurt so much inside these words burn as I cry This life is destroyed without you The joy that comes is the Joy of the Empty The despair I'm prone to maynever wilt I way You could have been there You could have saved me but no you left I was here to stay In the Dark When the razor called me back You could have been my light throughout the eternal black My Soul Has yearned for but where are you Please come back to me I desire just a one word of comfort just from you, only from you Tell me this is just a Lie Just a Hallucination from my Mind I'm suffering I'm Dying I Need you I'm begging just for one word please save me from Desperation I'm the Petal You're the Wind Without You I can never go Far You're not here I'm now stranded alone In the plagued island of my mind only if you were here only If you here You could have Saved Me From Desperation


Details | Lyric | |

Thin Line

Thin Line 


You hate me when i am around you 
you hate me when i am away
if hating thrives you everyday
i am your energy and 
your medicine at your need
when you gossip for your play.

Poetry 5/18/12 by  Keith K. Relf


Details | Rhyme | |

Burn It, Or Take The Ride

  The night, she consumes me, leaving nothing left, 
I am not returning home tonight, I am being kept,
surely not against my will, it's wonderful out here,
she speaks in a tone: soft, direct, sincere.

  You exhumed me, and tied me to a post,
the things we love will hurt us the most,
still you are my drug, showing me things I fail to see,
but like any drug, you will be the death of me.

  Rage runs through me, I deem you my everything,
from the stroke of my pen, to the songs I sing,
from the words I write, to the reason I breathe,
you are an anchor for my sanity...

  Pain subdues me, leaving me helpless inside,
I'm aware of what it takes to swallow my pride,
so here I am, against this post with arms tied,
you bought the ticket, either Burn It, Or Take The Ride.


Details | Limerick | |

mirriors

contrast between our lives not one soul survives contagious how they leer i am allowed no fear destroyed, my sanity dives


Details | Narrative | |

Momentary Reflection

I was paralyzed in thought,
and standing all alone;
Surrounded by darkness,
everything was gone...

With barely a glimpse, from the corner of my eye;
I was travelling so fast as I passed myself by.
I was moving at high speed, as if,
somehow out of time.

Thinking to myself, looking back into the distance;
Could I have been resting, 
or was there something on my mind;
Maybe, I was just Reflecting,
on some Moments from past times...

A Momentary Reflection,
I thought as I laughed;
Reflections of mistakes, so many in my past;
Or maybe the future, and thoughts of my death.

There's no point in thinking that anything can change;
I passed myself there and found myself here;
Crossroads unmarked, destination unphased,
Trembling,
like a lost dog, covered in mange...

A strength unfound, a desire to disappear;
A Momentary Reflection,
of how I found my way here.

As I watch myself in quiet,
with no desire to stop;
In slow motion I fall,
from a single gunshot...

A Momentary Reflection,
of where I stood at the start;
Maybe if I had slowed, or come to a stop,
this Moment I have witnessed,
the confusion and doubt;
Just maybe, somehow;
I could have found a way out...


Details | Bio | |

REVIEWING A COMPLEX YEAR

Up to October's end
life was peaceful and delightful;
I enjoyed the strolls and chats,
going to baseball games,
seeing crowds cheer at CitiField
and I zealously wrote 
about many human experiences.
Disaster as predicted,
was in store for two thousand twelve:
Italy was shaken by earthquakes,
drought and floods in the USA,
then Sandy came with fury
wreaking havoc and destroying
everything in its path. 
Thankful and blessed
for not having lost anything,
greatly rejoiced for being alive,
but moved by the tears of others
whose homes were slammed
by  the storm on the eastern coast...
who doesn't sympathize with their loss?
Obama has been re-elected,
will he bring those changes
he promised in the first term?
Iran has fired at an American Warfare
and vows to exterminate Israel;
Syria is in turmoil and Greece
is facing unemployment and unrest.
An unimaginable fear awaits us all:
is it another World War, or Armageddon? 
 


Details | Lyric | |

A Turning Point

 Within seconds, life and death collide
Within a blink of an eye, your last moments
To hope, to trust, and to surety you are tide
Your heart falls to its knees, and begins to pray to a God it so desperately needs
You begin to lose ground….
Your very last breath …as you exhale and inhale is soo profound
For it marks your very being
All your sense are directed inward
With sudden fear your heart is well cornered 
And a shrieking silence begins to sound, like thunderous cries
Your mind begins to play tricks, to you, it tells false wishing lies
Do not give up, to move head on…it whispers! it lies!
With that last breath. As you exhale and inhale you still exist 
What was once real
 When life was once clear
All of that banishes
Even the hoping! The longing! For a nobler tomorrow vanishes
Leaving all your nerves fried
Leaving your soul dried
Your very gist slowly but surely have died
Numbness begins to creep in
Like a devil when he whispers a sin
Like a drum roll leading to a scene’s climax
Like when your heart drops to your feet
 When all stops…silence engulfs, 
Shhhh!!!
Can you hear it?
The wait begins to take a heavy toll on your nerves,
for the moment that you have for soo long anticipated
The very instance…
The moment when life and death collide
The very last moment,
When to hope, to  trust and to surety your soul is tied
It all of a sudden unfolds, leaving that body of yours dead and cold
A chapter finally ends
A heart is finally set at rest 
I say my goodbyes
And wish only to see you in the afterlife
 


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Woe Is Me

Words have no more Meaning I find myself Deadlocked In an Ethiopian Night I Could go recklessly on But with what Hope? Will I Glide on? The Only thing I can find is woe only woe, only me, woe is me Voided since the start I'm contradictory in Armenia desert Mountains are more like rusty daggers pierced in my stomach; what else is there but pain? only pain, only me, pain is me


Details | Free verse | |

A Sad Time

Its a sad time for me.
Covered from head to toe in insecurities.
All I do is try and cover for my mistakes.
My misjudgments.
My displacement...
But what about those times of joy?
Gone within a blink of an eye.
It seems that my world would be one of pity.
but no its not pity more like a self hatred that runs deep.
It covers my heart with hard lace and frosted glass.
Covering me in something for show.
I used to glow.
Like a bright light.
That was also just for show. 
A lie filled to the brink.
dishonest and out of synch.
Thats my story for now.
Im just a show and a sad story.
A sad time.


Details | Free verse | |

Silence


Silence

Tears fell upon broken glass
A door that once stood tall is in shambles
The fear of spoken word is strong
A hand trembling too much to write
A haunting love deviates from its course
And all that remains is the silence
The silence of a broken heart

The words spoken in anger echo
Resounding in the hollow of my soul
As good as a celibate is to continuing life
My best efforts to climb the vine were in vein
For now I see that I have fallen again
Like a lost flower trying to push through concrete
My efforts were damned from the start

When a spoken word is like a dagger
It's better to remain silent and say not a word
For the words could form the paragraph of my demise
Spoken with the eloquence of drunken rage
Thus I thrust myself behind walls to hide myself
Because to cry and bear weakness before others
Is to give them the dagger of spoken word

My tears have fallen on shards of glass
The walls are cracked and threatening to fall
But I'm so afraid to leave myself naked
Before demons who would use it against me
And strike me at my frailest moments
That I turn to this silence
The silence of a broken heart 


Details | Rhyme | |

Nuthin' Else To Do

It was a Tuesday night and dull boredom had set in
‘ thought I heard my ol’ car say: “Take us for a spin!
Go pickup Bobby Mac and maybe Cindy too,
‘Cause it’s Tuesday night … and there’s nothin’ else to do”.

Bobby Mac rode “shotgun” with Cindy in between
While I gripped that steerin’ wheel, and drove through Abilene
We stopped ’n got some soft drinks an’ an order of French fries
Then off we sped again - crusin’ ‘neath those Texas skies

Cindy’s eyes were sparklin’ when Bobby told a joke
Once I had to stop the car, ( ‘cause I had spilt my Coke!)
Then Bobby Mac, he asked me: “Just what can this car do …
Can it reach a hundred … or maybe go on through?”

I turned around and cruised on down to Ol’ Comanche Road.
I was rev’in’ up my engine, while the duel exhausts bellowed 
I popped the clutch - tires protested with their clouds of smoke
Horsepower erupted through every bore and stroke

The needle on the dashboard gauge was approaching one-oh-oh
And then I felt that right front tire when it decided to “let go”
It happened in a heartbeat, but slow motions’ what I see
For now I’ll relive that awful night for all eternity.

And Cindy has no sparkle left within her big brown eyes
And Bobby Mac’s no jokes to tell ‘neath those Texas skies
While I sit here on this cloud with Bob and Cindy Lou
… Now and forever more … they’ll be Nothin’ Else to Do. 

Don’t speed.


Details | Light Poetry | |

My Big Brother Is Watching You Too

"My Big Brother" up and down the street
  He could be anyone you meet
  Spying on you from the street
  Looking in from every beat
"My Big Brother" isn't that sweet

"My Big Brother" and I don't know why
  Casting in from above the sky
"My Big Brother" the commie spy
  Listening in do or die
  Bringing his book in
  Taught within
My Big Brother, 1-800-LET-US IN
  Caught with paper and a pen 
All because, "My Big Brother" let himself in


Details | Free verse | |

Am I Still Forgiven

I did it again; I need forgiven.
Will He still forgive me even though I've fallen before?
I've fallen into these same sins countless times before;
I still haven't learned my lesson.
I am an ignorant hypocrite.
Am I still forgiven?


Details | I do not know? | |

Until We Bleed

I'm naked
I'm numb
I'm stupid 
I'm staying

This isn't love. You use me. 
When you get home from the club or wherever you've been late at night,
You're clumsy with your hands.
Clothing seems too hard to get off.

And if Cupid's got a gun
Then he's shooting

But I can't leave. 
No matter what happens, it's too painful to go.

Lights black
Heads bang
You're my drug
We live it

We're too uncomfortable with the lights on.
I don't want to see your face-
Slurred, clueless.
Angry.
You don't want to see mine-
Helpless, confused.
Depressed.

You're drunk
You need it
Real love,
I'll give it

Everything is hazy to you.
I bet you can't feel.
But I'll love you anyways.
I always have.

So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
And love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

This has gone on forever, to me.
I'll try to be like you,
To see what it feels like.
I drink the last bottle of vodka
And hold onto you.

You've wasted your times
On my heart, you've burned
And if bridges gotta fall
Then you'll fall, too

Maybe this is the part of life
That people told me about
It doesn't mean anything
It hurts you.
You grow so attached that when one piece collapses
You do too.

Doors slam
Lights black
You're gone
Come back

You leave when the ordeal is over
Because you couldn't really care less when you're sober
You don't have a reason anymore

Stay gone
Stay clean
I need you
To need me

I want you to be happy
To be the way you were before.
But I think without you,
Even though I only see you late at night,
I would be destroyed.

So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

I'm getting up to leave
The keys are for you

Now we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

But I'll come back soon
I'll come back


Details | Free verse | |

Just one of many things

Catching me out and truly unexpected
Flashbacks that only bring tears to mind
Children so powerless, no happiness to see
Left in the darkness to fear night and sleep

Nowhere to run, no one to care for them
Cold blooded man with no heart or love
Chillies for breakfast more punishment for tea
Strappings and cruelty, their harsh reality 

Forced to watch and too scared to cry
Strength inside but fear in our eyes, 
Never show weakness, take it on the chin
Secretly hoping he pays for his sins

So much fear, sadness and guilt
Fear of not standing up to his build
Sadness for the horrible things indured
Guilt I wear for not making this stop

Life has many challenges, we all know
I should have dealt with mine years ago
Instead I just pushed it so far below
Locked deep out of sight, out of mind

Letting this all impact on my life 
Feelings subtle in the background
Slowly eating at my heart and soul
Preventing me from being whole

So this is a new promise to myself
Finally remove it all from the shelf
No more will it comfortably be dormant
Day by day I will sweep it all out


This is a journey....'A Road about to be driven' 


Details | I do not know? | |

I Fear

I am scared of the scars Im fed
I am scared my heads being mislead.

I Fear a life of Dread
I fear I may already be dead.


Details | Free verse | |

The Spark

It was overwhelming, it was lovely
It was my definition of forever, it was empowering
I spread it into the sea
Into space, time, and everything in between or beyond
I spread it into their souls
I spread it throughout the forgotten dimensions

Betrayal, a curve ball
Unexpectedly knocking me from this universe
I floated, away from everything i had seen
I was spread, beyond the city
I was spread, further from the seas

Closer to the bottom
The light became dim
The light became an illusion
The truth had been unfolded beneath
Like a trench, eager to sub duct innocence of loyalty
For I had traveled so far...

The spark, what is now a burden
What now burns
For once, it lit the way
It guided the way that the mind created
The illusion we were eager to find

Now all that is left
And of course,
Only the foolish search for the spark


Details | I do not know? | |

Friday

Enjoy every moment in your life
You’ll never know how long it lasts

Show your commitment to others, your concern
It may be too late if you wait one more day

Let people feel happy one more time
Tomorrow may bring sorrow’n’pain

You cannot lock anyone in the box
Even birds do not survive when closed

You need to  give freedom and space
No matter if it brings life or death

People turn into dust and disappear
To be forgotten is their only fear

The ancient secret of immortality 
Is to live forever in people’s memory


Details | Quatrain | |

Sandy Hook

Today, it just doesn't seem fair
That we are still able to breathe.
They have given us their air-
Our duty to lead the life they leave.


Details | Triolet | |

Today, A Phantom

Today, A Phantom.
 
Heavy it lays upon my heart,
that today is a morrows past,
what there is now, an end --a start,
heavy it lays upon my heart,
tragic masks when do  break apart,
do bleak, so gloomy shadows cast;
heavy it lays upon my heart,
that today is a morrows past.


R.N.Khan, © 2012


Details | Rhyme | |

Teardrops of sorrow

Teardrops of sorrow, stream down her face. As she thinks of tomorrow, and feels out of place.
 
Lies and infidelity, clouding her thoughts. She knows they were weaknesses, she could have fought.
 
As the one that she loved, slips slowly away. She lies to herself, saying she'll be okay.
 
Living her life, cold day after day. She'll one day break down, and quietly pray.
 
"Help me dear father, in heaven above. Help me be strong, and teach me to love. "
 
"Show me my worth, and my light that's inside. Give me my courage, and rebuild my pride. "

A hollow dark hole, sits in place of her heart. Cause her values and morals, have all fall'n apart.
 
What once was a sweet, and innocent girl. Is now lost and lonely, consumed by this world.
 
She'd sacrifice anything, just to fit in. Sacrifice everything, and give in to sin.
 
Loved ones may forgive her, but they'll never forget. She's strayed far from her path, but they won't give up yet.
 
Holding her hand, they'll help her get through. But it won't change the fact, that she was untrue.

She damaged the heart, of a very good man. Did things that he, just can't understand. 

Now I have no doubt, she loved him to death. But love's just a word, mumbled under our breath. 

For actions have always, spoke louder than words. And hate is the sound, most commonly heard. 

If you don't like the feelings, expressed in these lines. Then cover your ears, and cover your eyes. 

For a bitter cold boy, wrote down this letter. But he wrote it to say, that he's doing better.

Lying awake, in the mid of the night. He smiles and says, "I'm doing alright. "

Floating away, on an ocean of memories. He piles up the sand, to block off his enemies.

Moving along, he hopes she's okay. But he won't let the thoughts of her, get in his way. 

Lying awake, likely miles apart. They each fall asleep, with a hand on their heart. 

For life is a Story, often painful to tell. But sleep sweet tonight, for they're both doing well.  

   


Details | I do not know? | |

Why me

Why me
Why me dear god 
Why the hell me!
I did all you asked 
I’ve even played the card 
Of a good girl, the one 
Everyone wanted me to be.
Why can’t you save me.
I’m hurting immensely 
And no one care not even slightly.
How could you allow me to fall 
So deep, so far into misery.
I’ve grown to hate myself so much so
I’m that demon within the angel 
That you see.
I’m crying out for help
And not once did you show me sympathy.
Like everyone else you pretend to care
My prayers are just words you refuse to here.
You watched the tears ran down my cheeks
And didn’t send an angel to watch over me.
I don’t want to be part of this world anymore
Just set me free….
Sleeping forever is where I are to be.

05/05/09


Details | Narrative | |

Honor of Friendship-Part Three

Once again silence envelopes me, like a thick blanket choking me, thrashing and panicking I wish to escape and wonder why you have left me like this? Why you have left me with such emptiness, such silence, digging into me, ripping me apart… “Please, do not abandon me…” I wish to say, to plead…to beg, but no words escape me for I can no longer breathe.
All I did was listen, that’s all I’ve ever done, and then…you’re gone and I feel so alone…so alone. Lost in a never ending darkness, floating aimlessly and I cannot find my way. All I did was listen, all I’ve ever done was listen, I was only ever by your side. Was that not enough? Did you want more? What more can I give? Please, tell me why must you hide, why must the silence over take us-me? Why must I be left on the sidelines…why must I be forgotten…?
When you speak with others, can you not speak with me as you speak with them? Do you feel shamed when spending time with me? Must our friendship be hidden? I do not understand… I wish to, I wish so much to understand you but I cannot. I cannot see when my only light is gone.
They are the only ones for you, they are your friends…I am the forgotten one. Abandoned; left behind, in silence, darkness, and sorrow. They are the ones for you, they are the ones you love, they are the ones you praise and honour…What am I? what am I?
Why do I surround myself around you, why do I care so much, when you obviously care so little? Do you even care at all? Am I just someone to fill the space, am I just someone to pass the time with until you can be with your real friends, once again leaving me on my own…

In glowing light you saturate them in words of precious gold, honors adorned by you electing them to be your true friends. Telling me that you adore them, love them, so; that they listen quite often to what you say, that you can tell them anything without fear of them judging you and all the while I listen to such high praise. As you bestow upon them the highest honor one can receive from you-the gift of true friends- I listen as you continuously adorn them with riches of words…

What am I to you? WHO am I to you? Will you ever say, will I ever know? Is there anything to say, anything to know? Or shall I always be left in the dark silence?


Details | Rhyme | |

Heartbreak hotel

Heartbreak hotel

There’s a little place I know
Where heartbreak people go
You can stay there for just thirty bucks a day
There people down on luck
They be treated like they’re muck
It’s not the place where winners choose to stay.

The man who runs this place
Ain’t no smile upon his face
He’s just out to make a lot of money
And the guys that work for him
Their faces all set grim
They make sure that this lodge don’t seem too sunny

They kick folk all around
Tread their faces in the ground
They have no pity in their hearts so cold
The head man he’s like Hitler
His manner very bitter
He has no guts, and yet he acts so bold

If you’re ever down on luck
And you’re very short on bucks
Avoid this place its owner calls a lodge
You’d best sleep on the streets
Laid out on those wooden seats
But this heartbreak hotel it’s best to dodge.


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Rhyme | |

Obstacles in Life

I'm 16 years old I've been told I'm bold
I have a thug boyfriend that likes to do drugs
I found out that I'm pregnant I don't know what to do I have to drop out of school that's not cool
I was going to be a CNA one day I guess I have to live off of public aid
I thought about being a maid but I have to have to graduate for heavens sake I guess I just pray 
Maybe I'll get that chance one day

I'm 30 years old I work as a cleaner. My dream is to be a singer
I'm afraid that people are going to laugh at me and give me the finger
I'm afraid that people are going to say boo than I'm going to go  woo woo 
I'm afraid that I won't sing that good than people would say go back to your neighborhood
Maybe one day I have the courage to do it but I don't think I could do it

I'm 40 years old and I'm homeless no one is going to hire me for work 
I've been out of work for 6 years with no address that's a lot of stress 
Managers want to hire the best not someone who doesn't have an address 
I wish someone would help me but everyone wants to hit me with a belt when I ask for money
Maybe one day I'll be bless I guess

No matter what obstacles you go through in life you have to fight
Remember you can make a new start with God you have to receive to believe who agrees
Like Michael Jackson said you have to make that change 


Details | Free verse | |

wish list

I want to experience freedom like I have no masters
to experience life like time doesn't exist
to live humbly and die gracefully
to accept who I am and be proud
to never cry out loud


Details | Free verse | |

Silent Tears Amongst Him

As I sit here thinking this couldn't be true, he hits me yet again.... I fear for my life and for 
my unborn child. I see the anger building up slowly inside. I can't cry for he will beat me 
harder if he sees the tears, so as I sit here getting hit over and over again  falling are the 
silent tears amongst him. I think of the life that I had before I went back to the Thug Life. 
Where Blood's were the big issue and everyone turned their head as they heard the verbal 
abuse that he puts me through. Control is his goal and he had just that. Stripping me of my 
dignity and humility. God please let this all be a bad dream. I am just barely pregnant by 
him and yet the way he hits me is like he don't care. Embarrassing me when his homies 
come around, making me walk around in just a top as if I am just some trophy to place upon 
his wall. So scared to write, so scared to tell, so the silent tears fall amongst him yet 
unknown to him so that I don't get hit yet again. The simple thought of I must escape 
crosses through my mind and as I leave I continue to hold my rosary in my hand praying to 
God that if he just lets me get away, then I promise to do right and raise this baby through 
him.... Yet as I still think back in fear the Silent tears fall amongst him as they shall continue 
to do until I can break free of the fear.


Details | Rhyme | |

Daddy's Girl

Played out by 'My way' Presley not Sinatra, the funeral procession of my estranged father,

I can't say I was sad that my father had died, but the relief when let loose all those
fears I'd hide,

he did some stuff which I like think he felt shame, he played with my childhood like some
hand in a game,

simple as that, did it matter or not? that depended entirely on the amount in the pot!

So now I can tell you all I was too scared to say, how you made me fearful every minute of
each day,

belittled by every word that you spoke, damaged maybe, but not totally broke,

thrown on the streets as a child of five, no coping skills of how to survive, took in by
the police frightend and weak, terrified to answer, afraid to speak,

returned to my Father as a runaway brat, as soon as they left I came under attack,

my one only friend by whom I was honestly loved was taken from me by your hand in black
gloves,

Bonnie my dog was so golden and bright, why drown her in the bath under the darkness of night?

Not done with your evil you were so damn depraved, you then made me bury her in a shallow
grave,

whilst with friends your an angel well known, end of the evening  the devil came home,

and the beatings so violent likes a child should not know, and I'd pray every night that
you would just go,

why did you hate me? what was my crime, to be the object of hatred time after time,

well your gone now and buried and your not living in me, I cast you out - Daddy I'm free! 


Details | Rhyme | |

Hold On To You

Why am I so selfish?
Why do I live for the wrong things?
I am dying inside
Because I refuse to see the light.
I need to say yes,
But I still haven't learned that yet.
I am a fool,
And I am hurting you.
If I would let go of myself,
I would hold on to you.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

A Silent Plea

What tall tales must one share to free themselves from hell do not allow the heart to ponder or you will be lost in wonder What does a woman such as I know of love I know it hurts more than anything I know it will be down right disappointing and no one will come to lift you up For they want you to give them more than you have from the time I was a child I have known love was not my desire I loved with all of my heart and gave everything of whom I was but no one ever took a chance to love me back Now in my age my mind is torn from loving and harm do not bother me if this is your way of fun after all I am only human I want to be happy like anyone else, even if by myself Please if nothing nice can be done or said just pretend I am dead I know when I am hated or gossiped about and seriously I am at a loss I want to smile again, I would give anything to have someone be my friend I do not care who loves who just please let me be a human being too


Details | I do not know? | |

A PRICKLING FEELING WITHIN

                                             Subsiding,
                           Is that moment of rational deception;
                                             Regaining,
                              Is the desire, that is of my perception;
                                          Releasing,
                         Of my soul,  to the evil I aspire…
                                        Touched,
                                             Once again,
                                    By A Prickling Feeling Within


Details | I do not know? | |

Shadow of death

Interchangable memories on an old dusty shelf
abandoned and lost in a mirage of my former self
Listliss and dull in spirit, cold blooded at heart
pondering the ways in which I fall apart

Take myself at face-value, or look deep within
Degraded myself in rythm with all of my sin
This plight I find hopless, this plot I find flawed
Is the shadow of death for me to be called

Whether I bleed, of even just if I try
It's in my opinion, it's better I die
Do you think evanescence is truly so bliss
If spoken by the serpant, so cold with a hiss

Take my misfortune, call me a mistake
And leave me alone, if not for pity's sake
I may fear that I'm falling, or maybe failing you see
The only thing I know, is what I hate most is me.


Details | Lyric | |

The Escapist's Plea

When you can longer run away from yourself
When you thought there were no more tears to cry
When you just want to die
Living like this consumed by the façade of a million lies
So many years, so many days
Waking up to people who no longer care you're there
You ask how can this be, one short organic vitality
Wasted with living; the slowest way to die

The shadows of shame weigh you down 
Until you drown, filled with only their hate
All you can turns grey, and all you ever loved fades
The agony is all you know, thank you pain
A self-sadist Is all you have become, j
ust how they showed you, craving so much more
Just to hide up all of the misery
But under cloth it still bleeds

This is the Escapist's Plea
For the one who fall to their knees in misery
Trying to stay sane but fall under September's rain
Dying from the invisible disease, only you can see
Stigmatized by their sadistic need
Only if I could just fly away
...Fly Away


Details | Rhyme | |

Her last breath

fallin into dark disper, screaming and crying why dosent anyone care,
she can feel the knife running deep in her arms, drops of warm blood soon to become bruises and scares,
she has crys everynight by feeling so alone, while her mom drinks it up she is home alone,
Shes had it she done ! she has no hope not even none..she opens the door and runs out the house, whereing nothing only her shorts and a easly see threw blouse,
she heads to the store grabbing tons of pills, then running past her house jugging up a step looking hill..
shes knows what she has to do,
she grabs a handful of pills and swollows them in her mouth, her eyes start geting blury trying take one more glance upon her house, 
She falls to the ground no more weeping no more sorrow, thats it its final its finally over now---Larissa Summitt


Details | Free verse | |

The Trial of the Brazen Boy

Inconsiderate Brazen Boy 
Who knows not what good to do
You forget your manners
Respectful to none but those with a gun
And thus having broken all the rules
Inconsiderate Brazen Boy 
Who in spite of a good mother’s love
Shows no kindness, sympathy, nor compassion
You follow not the Golden Rule she taught
But seek only ill-gotten crimes of passion
Inconsiderate Brazen Boy 
Thy callused heart strings untuned
What innocence is left with in your breast
What values have you for those that adored you
Having their hope replaced by your dope
Is this the life you envisioned
Inconsiderate Brazen Boy 
Your once good name now vulgar
Your pants hang low so your butt can show
And you believe it’s sexy
Inconsiderate Brazen Boy 
Death and violence amidst your comrades 
Will bring about your destruction 
Thy family of gang which kill, cheat, and steal
You lay still in a red pool of clay as they mock you
Inconsiderate Brazen Boy
Stand before thy creator
For your life for right you tossed for the left
Only now do you weep for the Savior


Details | Free verse | |

GROWING UP

On the empty floors I am watching the nights roll
flowing in other nights.
Nature's mirror has come to give birth and to destroy
the typhoons are embracing me, an unstoppable power
in my two arms.
Between logic and the holy the notions are lost
I am turning blue inside the sky's blue.
And I return again and again to repay the same sin
upon which my own blood has dropped
and with blood I try for centuries to pay.
My form is drawing circles
-what is your name?-my name is Human.
Can this mortality embrace the darkness?
Can my bare hands hold within them the air?
I was born for the renaissance of colours,
I threw green and yellow at the edge of the horizon,
I painted red the lost dreams of history
and I placed white on all the spots of the sky.
I was born to destroy and I dig pits everyday,
I bury inside them living truths and I cover them with shovel and water.
Be quiet! The seasons are sleeping...
With small knives I carve the corners of the world
until I find the bone to puncture it, deeper and deeper.
Our fears are breaks of the Universe
they are transfered from planet to planet,
they change orbit, while cleaving the clouds.
''Learn how to walk, learn how to talk, learn how to kiss, learn how to leave, learn how to love, learn how to kill"...
Hollow bodies at the mountains top are burning with the flames of redemption.
They carry the same rock everyday, everynight until they reach the end,
the end that doesn't exist.
They fill the glasses with water, the glasses that dont have bottom.
Don't ask me to change the world, you only gave me soil but you have forgotten the water
and with hands dry and dirty I collect time to repay you
for your graces, because there is light and there is darkness, because I stop in front of red and I walk in front of green.
But you don't know, you don't, that I find strenght everyday, since I opened my eyes,
I am preparing in silence and I am clentcing my teeth
because the time will come, when I will throw a big punch at this carton world,
I will tear it up in half and I will see what lies behind,
behind the lie.
Shaken off from my dirty morality
I will touch the sacred redemption
I will wake up from the dream,
I will embrace at last, for the first time, reality.


Details | Lyric | |

Sorhleod

It was the myriad relapse The shadows perched, time slipped, the temptation resided to my mind I'm sure I have most the soul I never once had Lost; once you go into the dark eternal black there's no hope of dreaming of atoning back Small child I cling to you trying to savor the innocence When I could believe in everything again I tried All along to search for the truth But " the truth" is something that the truth eradicated I want to be ignorant again Can't face reality again Cease the pain that the pills can't heal Evaporate the blood that negates the strife Let me believe in everything again Break the fear Remove the pins of reality And I still wonder why And I still wonder why "forgive" makes me cry I can't make it stopThe razor beckons my name The scars and all their Shame... Find a way to pierce my serpent heart Through the iron membrane it's bleeding, I know When I have no cigarettes to burn When I have no more knowledge to Learn When I have no more xanax To cause concern I've dried out My heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me Cease the pain that the pills can't heal Evaporate the blood that negates the strife Let me believe in everything again Break the fearRemove the pins of reality And I still wonder why And I still wonder why "forgive"makes me cry I've dried out My heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me I've dried out tMy heart is loosing it's touch There's no way out The abuse and abyss has sealed me


Details | Narrative | |

honor of Friendship-Part Two

I listen, and I’ll always listen because I will do anything for you, I would die to keep you safe and alive. I would do whatever to make you feel better. And so, I listen as you talk about them, these amazing friends of yours…Only some I have met. How lucky they are to have such devotion, how lucky they are to not feel the sting of betrayal and abandonment; thrust upon their spine crippling them to a state of fear, anger, and distrust.
How lucky they are to have you, how lucky I am to have you.
Do you understand, do you see just how much I love you?
 Soul such as yours deserves only the best; perhaps that is where I fault, I bring upon you sadness and pain, until all you do is go silent hiding behind solid doors. Composing words of sorrow, and they stab me like a sword in the gut…Closed off, shut away from you-I cannot function like this. I lose my way, I lose everything, I cannot be kept away, please open up to me… ‘DO NOT SHUT ME OUT’ I cry…I don’t want to lose you, yet I feel as though I already have; I feel as if I never really had you all along-not truly. That everything I believed, everything I have come to know is fake. An act, a show you put on until you can no longer pretend to care anymore so when the opportunity comes along you go silent and drop me. I am left forgotten, wondering what happened…Seconds, minutes, hours go by and nothing. I lose control, I panic and my bleeding heart reacts. Maybe you did not mean it though, but maybe you did…I don’t know and I’m not sure I ever really will know and my mind spins like a top…I don’t know what to do, or say…or think. Do you even care? Did you ever care, or did you just pretend so you did not have to face me? If you were given the opportunity would you forget who I am, would you abandon me in the unforgiving tide, left alone to fight against the waves, until all I have given you-all the memories flood me until I drown, going down to the pit of nothing…? The pit of lies that you made, would it be easy to turn you back on me, leave me to fight alone this losing battle until you are no longer burdened by me…? And when I am gone, will you finally feel free?


Details | Free verse | |

''Final Fire''

Blistering blaze take what you will.
Inferno escape,smoke sets thick in my lungs.
I sacrifice myself approaching deaths' door.
The sound of a child makes blood turn cold.
Fear penetrates flesh,yet body still moves.
Endangered no more sweet youth.
Cry happy tears of love.
Heats' revenge shaped a new life.
Now forever in your memory I remain.

''Last Chance Poetry Contest''
sponsored by....Kristen Bruni
written by...Kacey Greenlee
kaceymike29


Details | Light Poetry | |

Kindness is a Virtue

Who are and who is my friends or acquaintances, confusing everyday
but today I have found my self to walk a path that is not so rough
I became so blinded to have friends that it pains me anyway
They take a simple kindness and think that I am not tough
so by deliberately challenging me to act like nothing happens I grow bold
Wake up you! and all the rest, I have something to say
I don't like this feeling of regret or sorrow so please do not take me cold
as a friend you should know to not take advantage of my kindness in away
A storm is blowing inside my soul burning a hole in it so
lightning is striking in methods unknown for in the distance thunder you hear
Some of the greatest warriors fall with great weapons of bow
antics that slaughters such feebleness as cowardices use an unseen spear
To let one know that your feelings are clear do not hesitate
to do so shows fear and that is one thing that can determine your choice
With kindness in your corner you should easily win and that will be great!
In the end you can hold up a drink with friends and smile and rejoice


Details | I do not know? | |

My reality

It’s like screaming out load, and no one can hear
 Like you dug into my darkest places, and unearthed all of my fears
Shined a light upon my insecurities revealing my tears
It’s like I surrendered my free will, to follow your command
Relinquishing all of my power I put my life in your hands
When my confidence begins to rise, you weaken my stand
It’s like fumbling in darkness, eyes wide open and still can't see
It’s like you muffled my cries, ignoring my pleas
You abused me with your words so forcefully 
And  they cut so deep that they scarred the inner me
It’s like running full speed and getting no where
It’s like you were my only life support, and you rationed my air
I'm gasping for air, I can't catch my breath
I've given it all that i have, and now i have nothing left
It’s like I'm acting out a script. Word for word, line for line
Like every thought that I have is yours and not mine
It’s like I’ve lost myself, I can’t find the real me.
It’s like my worst nightmares, has become reality


Details | Light Poetry | |

What A Time

Christmas,Boxing Day and Newyears Eve All these stabbings
hard to believe.

Things are getting out of hand, people stabbing for no real reason
at the so called Holiday Season.

It is hard to take in as these tragic events unfold, it actually makes
your blood run cold when you are told the news.

I thought it was a time for good cheer and laughter at Christmas and newyear
not all this killing and stabbing, people  walk the streets full of dread and fear,
and the message is crystal clear that thugs on drugs are getting very near.

Life has changed but not really for the good although people wish it would
and still could. Why all thes stabbings,killings, shootings what do they achieve
apart from the much heart-ach, pain and eternal grief  with no sense of relief.

Lets face it the world is in a terrible mess, it seems beyond repair, I wonder
how life will fair for the ones who don't care.

Think before you act and inturn it could have a big impact. How we treat others, and
how people react so let us make this a matter of fact, help change the world for the better.

We need hope in order to cope with lifes tragedies and grief, as the world is a dark place despite the fast pace, but  a hope can give much comfort and is our release and that is something  precious to us that will not cease.


Details | Rhyme | |

Jules

To think for a second, to think I had something
I thought my life was so good
He told me things I cherished, secretly
But I never thought that he would...
He said I was the only one,
And you know it makes sense now
You were never mine, I never cared
You might have said it somehow
It would've saved me from this heartbreak
I never knew what it felt like till now
Loneliness, hurt, betrayal, tears...
Nothing but shaking and tears
Never wanting it to end, makes it end
Faster than we have years
Oh bittersweet heaven remove me now
So friendless and scared and alone
Hurt by two, who think they are the victim
I could tell in their voice, their tone
Why not? I think to myself
Let them think that I am alright
Because they don't care about it anyways
Why did I have to fall again last night?
Talking bout stars, about life, and the world
I could've let myself into his arms
I almost did, how I wanted to fall
His kindness, his honesty, his charms
Omg I can't believe that I was so dumb
That for a second I thought I was fine
I thought that I could come home one day
And not be surrounded by tears and rhyme
But this is worse than anything
I have ever felt before
Why did I think that I stood a chance
Against one with such beauty galore
Why do I care, it was I who broke away
I broke his heart I am told
If I did, is it rebound? Or is that what I am?
Nothing but hay against gold
Sobbing, hair pulling, locked door, locked heart
You shouldn't have opened it up, stupid girl
The wall was built for a reason, dear Jules
And now that truth will unfurl
Wicked girl, ugly girl, lost and alone
Give up, give it up, it's so clear
He doesn't want you, he doesn't care
But he whispers so softly in my ear
'I love you' he said, and now the tears flow
Again like they've never before
I'd love to stop crying but I feel so betrayed
It's obvious he cares for her more
What do I do, what can I say? 
I could run but what would that do? 
Jules, you're so stupid, I am so dumb
It's fake, love is fake, it isn't true
You fell once again into arms so strong
I fell once again, so strangely
Life hates me, time hates me, ugh I fell hard
I should've known that he wouldn't catch me


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Sociopathic Love

 Sociopathic Love


Don't worry before He’s done with you; He‘ll ravage you
Not just physically but through his words both twisted and firm
If you could only accept that he decides when the game ends;
You'd realize an escape is just as much of an illusion as the man you think you know

Nothing can save you from this game
The lies will roll off his chameleon tongue as he reflects everything you've shown him
He’ll pour metaphors filled with an elusive pitch; deep inside the intimate spaces that fill your head

He'll patiently watch your every move
As you squirm with denial and try to claw your way past the anger
Just as you desperately try bargaining for release
He’ll watch you drowned in hopelessness, lost without the reflection you saw in him

It's a game you won't even realize you've been playing until he decides it's over
He'll know every piece of you by then
Especially the pieces he easily replaced well you were mesmerized in your own reflection
He’ll move on to his next prey soon and only then will you'll start to awaken
He thinks you'll never find all the pieces he planted; you'll never be whole without him 

As his eyes trace the contours of your acceptance
He’ll know at the precise moment he's broken you
As he watches your will bend pliantly to his
Making you just another possession he never really wanted
Then he’ll finally release you out of boredom
Leaving you lost without the mirror you helped him create
Wondering why the piece’s you're picking up won’t fit back together the way they once did

It’s then you’ll realize that he never knew how to love
He’s found his pleasure in the games he plays
Pleasure that calms the jealousy he holds against the emotions that he's unable to feel
Allowing him to walk away without remorse; leaving his victim in their darkest moment 
He's become bored with the people that surround him and confused by his own existence           To him love is only a game used to occupy time                                                               Whenever he decides the time is right it's simple

Game Over


Details | Elegy | |

When words mean nothing

How to abate the loathing
When words mean nothing?

There are moments
In human existence

When
Any resistance
against baleful fate
is futile.

When
One is left
with his thoughts
Forsaken 
by all gods

Astonished immensely
by the world vile
which first
gave him birth
and now
devours him
with mirth

Agonizes he
in every spot
on the Earth

Where does his heart belong to
Never will he learn

How to console such a man
When all words would burn?

How to abate the loathing
When words mean nothing?


Details | Couplet | |

Running away for love

This could change my life.
He knows all i want is to be his wife.
I'm so ready to be gone,
I'm so sick of feeling alone
Should i stay or should i go?
I ask my best friend and she says "hell no"
Its not like I'll be gone forever
Only one more year and we'll be back together.
Its a fresh new start,
With someone i love with my whole heart.
So many thoughts in my head
as i lay on this cold stiff bed.
I just want to be in your arms,
Just so scared of who this all harms.
My hand shakes as i write about this decision,
Like a new doctor making his first incision.
In my heart its a 100% yes
But in my head I'm thinking 'is this the best?'
All the thoughts of this goin right 
Out wieghs the thoughts saying 'this isnt so bright'
Finally out of the madness
No more having so much stress.
No more screaming in my face
Finally ill be in the right place
Just hoping they accept me into their home
Because God knows i cant do this alone.
This isnt a maybe
are you ready baby?


Details | Rhyme | |

What my eyes show me

I am afraid of what my eyes show me
They show me violence instead of peace
But true love is what i wish to see

     They trick me
     They deceive me
     In relationships they blind me

They make my heart stone
Because of them, to me real love is unknown
I try not to love what my eyes see
Because later i realize it's not what it use to be

I try to follow my heart and what it feels
But these deceiving eyes store feelings using a tight seal
Tomorrow will be longer, but my heart will grow stronger
And it'll someday be free, but until that day

I am afraid of what my eyes show me


Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Little Pill

Oh little pill that makes the death in me spring to life!! Oh how I love to taste your bitter love and wear the handcuffs you've gifted me with! Oh little pill that decides who I will be today!! Thank you so much little pill for all of your sweet numbness and Please,Please never walk away from me because without you my little pill---I would have to feel. Please little pill I don't want to feel....anything...ever again.


Details | Cinquain | |

Bruised ego

Who cares?
Whom fares this sea?


See, hear the tongues lashing.
Forces clashing in every mind:
love blind


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

The Mirror

[echoes from a dark past]

When I was born Nobody came into the world.
When I looked into the mirror Nobody looked back.
When I was ten Nobody played with me.
When I left at fifteen Nobody said goobye.
When I came home hurt Nobody said hello.
When I looked in the mirror Nobody looked back.
When I was 23 I saw a man and a woman.
Who was she, so strong to make Nobody stay away.
When I was 24 I saw a child and Nobody stayed away.
When I was 29 another child and Nobody stayed away.
When I was 40 1 child was wed and Nobody stayed away.
When I was 50 I saw just the two and Nobody far away.
When I was 56 I saw the woman alone and Nobody by her side.
Now I look in the mirror and Nobody is there.
When I am gone Nobody will say I ever existed, save the woman.
Nobody was there at the beginning.
Nobody was there at the end. 
Nobody is her companion now.
Just as if I had never been.
Stupidity was the game I played, sadness my reward.
Nobody won all the games in my life.
Nobody has won again.

© Dave Timperley 2011




Details | Free verse | |

Reservation for One

The words plunge into my chest like a poisoned dagger. 

I frantically tug at the cold knife but to no avail as the venom works its way through my body. My mind desperately attempts to wrap itself around the deadening reality, but the slickness of it is too much to handle.

My mind slips and as a last resort hits the panic alarm. I open my mouth to scream but the poison has worked its way to my throat and burns hotter than the 1000 lakes of fire in hell. I want to grab my neck but my panic stricken mind is unable to reason with my arms to perform even this simple desperate request. 

My knees buckle and I trip and fall, backwards I think. Think...thought...thoughts...none are there. Can't think. Brain dead...or close to it. A cold splash, more chilling than the deadly dagger, wakes my brain momentarily, long enough to realize I'm drowning and add that to the list of pain. Still unable to move I throw an upward glance into her eyes. 
my last chance, the ice thin line between life and death, in hopes she will toss me a rope, a stick, a smile, anything. As she turns her back, I close my eyes and invite the ominous death that is now seemingly warm from the coldness of her actions. 

My mind pieces together a few last thoughts of happiness, of her. The day we met, her smile, her eyes, her laugh, the sound of her voice that my ears welcomed with open doors and arms wide open. The venom and water seem to meet each other simultaneously at my heart as if they had reservations, 

I know its time. 

With my lungs filled and oxygen gone, body frozen, mind shut down, I miss her. I manage one last smile and mouth the words " I love u."


Details | Rhyme | |

Suicidal Nightmare of the Depressed Husband

(just a poem, don't be worried about my well-being :p)

Beautiful architecture form the walls of home
Wide-open spaces for my loyal dogs to roam
Sapphire blues and ruby reds line the borders of my garden
Freshly polished Corvette in the driveway is truly a vision

My children sleep through the night until morning
Safe, tucked in, dreaming of bright futures to come
Faithful slumbering wife who won’t leave without warning
A man should be happy with all this, but I am numb

Depression trumps my emotions like a savage tyrant
As though happiness and joy have become absent
Not even the wonders of an autumn walk through the forest
Inspires me to try to live until next August

I’m a selfish man when it comes to life and death
It’s my life to live and my life to take
My finger gently lowers onto the trigger as I take a breath
Nausea and dizziness take over as I suddenly awake

My wife asks if I’m ok as the sweat drips down my face
Utterly speechless, she takes my hand in embrace
I explain the nightmare and how it’s not so much an illusion
We agree to seek help to avoid the once inevitable conclusion


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Myself

I cry myself awake
In the middle of the day
Because of a decision I made
Not to spend time with you.
And now everything I am
Is falling apart into pieces;
I feel like I am losing you
Because I am losing myself.


Details | Lyric | |

Chancy thinks its soo fancy

Is it you ? is it me?
Stuck in a world of a fantasy 
Heart beats, unceasingly 
Is this what they call ecstasy?
 Some say “the heart wants ,what the heart wants”
Yet the fire is oh! So enticing! Tranquilizing!
I adore it! I fear it!
Chancy foot stands transfixed in front
The petrified foot it taunts 
As it takes one step back, 
Chancy stands there and laughs
Torn between the two…my heart weeps
What path to take? My heart! Guidance it seeks
The fear of falling
Holds me back
The want for love
Pushes me back
The shackles of scary bounds me tight
Chancy is there, never to give up with out a fight

 Arising a hurricane is what they doo
My poor feeble heart, knows not what to do
The heart is pure. It seeks it strives to find who proves to be true
The ultimate winner..is still unknown
For here my heart still stand in the sea of unknown
Cupid I beg you do guide me
And dare not strike me and leave me
With your arrows of blind love
Guidance is what I need 
Give me that and I shall heed
Leave me not in the dark of misery
Leave me not in the sea of mystery
But guide me to that ever shinning light
Scary or chancy
With what do I side?
Shall forever remain a secrecy….



                                                                ~M.M.M


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Day

I am coming home
late once again.
It's freezing outside,
and I want to see my dad
whome I love.
I'm happy with my friends
until I walk through the door with them,
the worst mistake I could ever make.
Dad was okay
but then his treacherous girlfriend
who calls herself a "woman of God"
says "You're just going to let
her get away with coming home late
with her friends?!"
Dad shrugs his shoulders.
"You're not raising her right.
I'm leaving."
Then Dad gets furious,
but only with me.
He storms through the kitchen at me,
angry, arms flailing.
I didn't know that his next words
would change my life forever. 
"You made me lose
my house and my girlfriend.
I want nothing to do with you,
you're not my daughter anymore.
I don't love you.
I want you out tonight."
I lose all control-
bursting into tears, running to the bathroom.
As I collapse on my knees I cannot control the tears,
I cannot breathe. 
My breath comes in between long sobs.
My chest hurts. 
It hurts so badly,
the love I've lost.
My aunt's arms are wrapped
around me, but it doesn't help.

-Caroline Youngless


Details | Rhyme | |

Within these Walls

Always closing the window,
cursing someone's shadow.
Always alone,left with nothing to do.
within these walls, I'm simply blue.

It's a place where I remember my past.
A smile that didn't last.
It's where I can dream,write and sing.
But He's the only one witnessing.

within these walls I let everything out.
My anger,my tears,my desires but can never let it out.
and w/ a paper and a pen,
writing it all down, the question of "How & when?"

within these walls I hide my light.
The beauty,the madness & the serenity,kept it here every night.
what are my chances in this shallow world?
who will awaken me in my own little world?

Am I just in disguise outside these walls?
should I chase m,y dreams & answer all His signs & calls?
One day I know that within these walls will be shown.
And I'll be prepared to share it to the world & let others be blown.

But now is not the time,so I'm gonna stay here for awhile.
let my songs,poems & time heal my next journey in a mile.
because for now,within these walls is a secret & a mystery.
But I swore to myself that someday when I step out,I'll be ready.


Details | ABC | |

Coward

People want to commit suicide,
people choose to die over livin life.
Why has it come to be this way?
Why has this life become so meaningless,
that we just want to throw it away?
We become selfish and think our life is so bad,
dont think of others who's lives are worse, But still greatful for what they have.
People take for granted the things they've got,
clothes, food, smokes and shoes, even a roof or a bed,
They dont think of the homeless,
the hungry, not even the cold or the hot.
They just think they want to be dead,
Things happen in our lives that, to us, seem bad.
We dont look for help or trust any "friends"
All because of the past we've had.
Dont be a coward and run away,
Stick it out, Live life,
I know that there's alot of strife,
But stick it through day to day.
People want to commit suicide,
people choose to die over livin life.
Why has it come to be this way?....


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

My Luna

As I lay with you for hours
I watch you slip away

I tried my hardest to
keep you with me and I
failed, but I will always
have the memories that
changed my life forever.

You are gone now to a 
better place, I have to 
move on. i will miss u.
MY STRONG ONE.
MY LUNA.


Details | Free verse | |

The Tidal Wave

The Tidal Wave

I saw a tidal wave come in,
Raging winds and fierce water
Rushed,
Took the houses, cars, trees,
Street signs, park benches,
Pictures of loved ones
(Poor baby Louie, 3 years old washed away)
And along with all the power
It tore my heart out of my cage
And swept it out to the 
Endless seas,
And the great white sharks
Have their way with my heart.

Now bleeding and dying,
Pain follows me,
And I close my eyes,
And wish it all to be done.
Pray for me, I want pain no more.
See tears fall from the corners of my eyes,
As I breathe in and feel no heartbeat.
And they all look at me,
Faces of nomads and they snicker
At me,
I hang my head and cry tears,
But the tears were washed
Away in the tidal wave,
So I sit there,
Eyes closed
And I sleep the night away.

-10/2/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

Rescue Me

Everything around this feels so wrong,
Feeling as if this does not belong,

Feeling trapped inside a world that isn't for this,
Retreating within to the recesses of this mind full of bliss,

This feels like screaming but to let it out would not do,
The people would hear this and wonder to what is wrong with you,

Then to shield this so no one would understand,
Wandering the depths of mind of this barren empty land,

Alone and confined in and of this cold crystal heart,
How can this ever hope to help others when this is crumbling apart?


Details | Free verse | |

Alone

Crafting illustrations of endless doubts,
Tirelessly exploring for those so-called peaceful where-abouts,

   Slowly illuminating those dark corners of paranoia,
Trembling as the shadows conspire into black-hearted Casanovas,

   Conforming to the consistent routine,
Abandoning yet another opportunity into the unchanging ravine,

   Idly watching the inevitable downfall to my sanity,
Questioning myself, "Or is this how I view Humanity?"


Details | Free verse | |

Die wereld draai

As jy jou pyn buite wys sal vriendelike, Irreterende vreemdeling jou inlig dat die wêreld aanhou draai. En hulle is reg. Dit doen. Maak nie saak hoe hard jy dit smeek om te stop. Dit hou aan draai. Ek word wakker en is gelukkig vir drie sekondes. Dan onthou ek, Dit draai en kantel mense uit hul beddens In hul karre, hul kantore. 'n Stortvloed van klein mans en vrouens Wat deur die lewe tuimel. Probeer om nie te dink wat daar onder wag. Soms draai dit en stuur ons Wankelrig in mekaar se arms. Ons kleef styf, Opgewonde en laggend, Vreemdelinge saam gegooi op 'n bewegende prethuis vloer. En dan draai die wêreld weer. En iemand val af... Dis so 'n lang pad af Koud van skok, Kan ons net staan en kyk hoe hulle val En geleidelik kleiner word. Onttrek stadig uit ons geheue Tot hulle nie meer sigbaar is. Ons versamel in begraafplase, Stil en gespanne, Asof ons die impak gaan hoor; Die plons van 'n rivier klip in 'n donker put, Probeer om die diepte te meet. Probeer om te meet hoe ver ons val. Geen impak kom; Geen plons. Die oomblik gaan verby. Die wêreld draai En ons draai weg, Gaan aan met ons lewens... Ons vou ons self toe In gerieflike voorspelbaarhede Om ons warm te hou teen die koue. "Tyd is 'n goeie geneesheer" "Ten minste was dit vinnig" "Die wêreld hou aan draai"


Details | Rhyme | |

Shattered Dream

"Shattered Dream"

From the very beginning,
Somebody is dreaming,
To be with someone,
But its seems like no one.

Unable to speak the words,
To utter the love he could,
So the feeling's gone to waste,
Loneliness filled with emptiness,

Its takes many years to reveal,
The love he wants to tell,
To a very special girl,
But it’s already a shattered dream.


to: EG (^_^)


Details | Lyric | |

Baby Please

Oh my darling, how I wish I knew your name.
I've called you many things and Loves' the only one to stay.
I've called you many times, now won't you come my way?

Oh child at night, you, you rattle through my bones.
But I wake up on cold mornings to find I'm all alone.
And I cried, "Baby please, I can't lose all that I need".

And I cried, "Baby please, I am only a man,
And I'm working, trying the best that I can".
I can't do this all alone, so I cried, yes I cried,
"Baby please, won't you please just come back home".

I knew all my tears would be in vein,
But cried on anyway, to try and wash away the pain.
I've called you many things, but "Goodbye" would only stain. 

Oh I cried, "Baby please, you'd be cold to walk away,
But surely we'd both freeze if you can't find the heart to stay.
So I cried, cried, cried, "I love you more than anything in this world,
Now you've go to, got to, got to be my girl".


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

True Reflection

Looking in the glass, I see the scars, I see the tears fall, from her tired eyes. I smile, Then watch her force a smile, Back at me. The hurt within her, Barely hiding. She smiles, She tried to make you believe, That she's okay. She's okay with it all. The emptiness, No longer haunts her in her sleep. I see the tiredness under her eyes. She gets angry, Turns away, Turns back with a raised fist. Tears streaming from her eyes. Then, A smash, A crash, Shattered glass. Finally, I walk way, From the broken Mirror.


Details | Ballade | |

Why does one join a poetry site

Why does one join a poetry site?

Why does one join a poetry site?
I’ll tell you why I did
I’ve been writing songs for forty years
But always kept them hid
But then one day a thought occurred
Why not be proud of me?
These words that come, they’re mine alone
They’re my totality.

They be the sum of all my life
Oh what a lovely story!
I write of all my troubled times
I write of all my glory
I send all my emotions out
All my feelings on my life
I’ll speak of life and family
And all our worldly strife

Then I look at all the views that come
And I know I’m doing well
That folk they show an interest
And some are in the spell
Of all those whims that come to me
And fill this clear white sheet
Knowing I’ve reached out to folk
Makes my life more complete.

27 July 2013 @ 1500hrs.






Details | Couplet | |

Invisible's Invincibility

I am an invisible man.
Try and see me if you can.

Shy and quiet I remain alone.
Silent is my voice’s tone

No one can feel my pain and sorrow
As I hide inside of my burrow. 

Shadows consume my body and soul
As I embrace the misty cold. 

The reason for my unseen being
Lies in the fact I hate being seen.

This life and existence’s of my own choice
And I choose not to have a voice.

I am silent. Invisible. Inexistent.
Yet I am invincible, an immortal being


Details | Rhyme | |

Into the Void of Silence

October 03, 2012
----------------------

Settle around me this silence
For it is all I know, all I'll ever know
Do you know when I feel low?
When my depression drags me to the depths of below
I do not think you do, for you are never around
When I crash, far beneath the ground
and I'm screaming, can't you hear me!?
Where are you, where have you gone? Can you save me?
Why am I so alone, when I want your comfort,
When I NEED your comfort
So close to me, I can see you
Yet so far, you do not see me, do you?
Close these bleeding wounds of mine
Hurry before I fall away and die
But the silence, the loneliness just thickens
I need your help, but you do not come
I need you, I need you
Savior where are you?
why am I so trapped, so fallen, so lost?
What is the price, what is the cost?
For me to be taken from the void of silence
Can I ever be saved? Or is it too late for me
Will I ever be free?
Where are you my friend?
Why do you not come to aid me?
You said i could trust in you, rely on you
But you are not here...YOU!
You are gone again! ...Why?
Why have you ignored me...?
Why have you left me with this empty silence
With nothing, no hope, no faith to hold onto
Where have you gone my friend
Why have you left me behind? Was I easy to forget in the end?


Details | Lyric | |

In Your Love

Every time you kiss my lips 
I am drowning, I'm drowning
Like a never ending abyss
I am drowning, I'm drowning
Every time you whisper I miss you
I am drowning, I'm drowning
In your love,  in your love.

Life doesn't seem dangerous
When I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
Don't take it so serious
Cause I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
I don't care what they think of us
Cause I'm drowning, yeah I'm drowning
In your love, in your love

~ Leonard Napierskie


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 2-

My eyes
Refuse to see tragedy
My eyes
Marinate in dread…unable to embrace ecstasy 

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s sagging…from endless mourning  
And I’m close to my demise… 
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just let me be
Leave me alone…hand me a gun

I yearn for unspoiled glory
To make me feel perfect once more
I yearn for flawless serenity
To make me feel no regret…don’t ignore
My calls…don’t hang up on me

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just hear my plea
Listen to my excruciating cries…
Listen to the truth, not the malicious lies  
Our journey has just begun   

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me weeping?
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Eye can’t handle the stress
Let me release my horrendous distress
Eye can see you making that same mistake
At least MY life isn’t at stake

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…do You feel my lament
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…Stepped on like cement
I’m aching with discontent… I abhor this torment    
When will peace scrub off my fear?

I can’t believe my eyes
Your guiltiness flows into me…
I can’t believe I fell for your lies
Your heartless action rape my mind…you don’t see
What my EYES see…

You’ll never see 
How much pressure you put me under
Unchain me from this chamber
And watch me flee…

When will you be set free?


Details | ABC | |

Transformer

Transformer...



 I am so sorry I tend to whisper to my self while the wings on my back enfold me in my idiocy and bust in a furl of feathers and fire.
 
My authentic halo falling broken reinforcing my thoughts on transformations... 

My lush lies crept up into me whispering to you my secrecy and my merry go round patterns...
 I was adapted to serous sabotage and unconsidered volcanic eruptions... Having nothing to react to I made my own quake...
 
i deserve everything. 

But for you to say I can't feel is something that just shocked me at my core... 
But then again what should I expect? 
Secret boyfriends? 
are you kidding me...? 
But then again what should i expect... 
I gave you a reason to be suspicious a reason to say those things... 

With my viscosity on the subject I realize I have to be punished... and it has nothing to do with you...
 





Details | Free verse | |

Concrete Cliffs

No form, no organization, no verse.
A crescendo followed by silence and screams.
A wooden home locked inside of a concrete tome,
With a world collapsing while we keep relapsing
And again the past resurges; what we bury tends not to stay that way,
After all, the piper must have his pay.

A dark closet and we’ve seen fit to rot in it
The Devil in the details told me to be his advocate.
And El Dorado’s gone because a city of gold just wasn’t sustainable
But if it’s attainable then you’re damn right it’s going to be painful.
And death isn’t an option for those of us who feel compelled to keep walkin’
On the sand-- or is it ash? It doesn’t really make a difference while they slash
Their prices by depriving kids of rice and pin open their eyelids
For their twenty hour shifts ‘till they try to plummet themselves off of
Concrete cliffs.

And Macondo is Columbia, unless it’s in the Gulf of Mexico, 
but you already knew that, Mr. Critic.
But what are you going to do with it?
Frankenstein was the man, not the monster
The confusion first came when our blame ceased to reclaim 
An association between dissociation and our relation
To whatever the truth may have been
‘Cuz it certainly isn’t the truth anymore.

Blank pages in our textbooks and you ask me to memorize it
Regurgitate it and tell you what you want to hear--
My foods teacher says no eating in her class
And sees fit to harass her students with her utter lack
Of discernible knowledge while we cook some Kraft Mac and Cheese.
But who can blame her with the pay she’s getting?

No Telemachus on the television—Nor do we see Stephen
Not while the Situation is breathin’, cuz that’s what’s loved by the station.
Where’s the frustration? The indignation with the ignorant elation
That comes with living in a used-up world?
Dig a treasure map out of the trash and get it unfurled,
You walk to the ‘X’, but it’s been dug up—no wonder it was in there in the first place.

And the esoteric is what they find hysteric ‘cuz they’re all in on the joke
That they find so funny ‘cuz the system is broke.
Politics in work, in life, in marriage, in LIFE,
The wall of separation was torn down it seems, and soon you’ll find them tapping your dreams.
Enjoy watching your people’s nightmares, O Creators.
Tell us it’s what we want.


Details | Verse | |

On The Wall Your Photo's Hung

The days linger on and drive me crazy
Pull this trigger? Consider, maybe
Think things through, don't go rushing
I'm drowning now, turning and thrashing
Breathe sweet air back into my lungs
On the wall, your photo's hung
As time drifts slowly, I think again
Should my life, really come to an end
I think and I plan, confuse myself
Just a lonely soul searching for help
The sun it sets, then rises once more
Lose consciousness and crash to the floor
I wake in pain, agony it lurches
Usettled dreams of burning churches
But this is my choice, look through my drawers
Find the letter and this signature is yours
Then find my lighter, ignite a flame
Numb to know it's not the same
On the wall, your photo's hung
Reload again, bullets in my gun
Raise once more, but think things through
My last thought, it will be you.


Details | I do not know? | |

Empty

You were to be the love of my life, 
You were supposed to be my wife, 
We were supposed to have a family, 
Then you went all psycho on me, 
Three months into I got my first taste of you, 
If I had known then, what I do now I'd have left you, 
But I stayed and clung to you like a lost puppy, 
You cared for me and controlled me and made love to me, 
I thought you could change, I could change, we could change, 
Together not quitting like always, it was weird and strange, 
I thought my life had found it's end, where I'd be forever, 
In your arms, in your life, forever to be your lover, 
Then you showed me your true and frightening side, 
On and off like Jekkyl and Hyde, 
When we'd get along and love each other, 
There was nothing in this world that was better, 
But when you're mad, my life is frozen and empty, 
I used to fear that one day you'd hit me, 
Many times you've thrown things or done things abusive, 
But always came up with some lousy excuses, 
But now I'm not in love with you, 
I know now our life together is through, 
So I'm not going to fear anymore, 
I'm simply going to walk out that door!


Details | Free verse | |

Found

Time … to open
My eyes…
Time … to finally realize
I am the monster … glazed in guise
Time … to take responsibility
Of your slow demise
Of your haunting, screaming, aching unconditional agony
Time … has stopped
I am horrible
Hyperventilating, breaking…
Crying—smiling, faking 
Time … to see where the snake slithers tonight
Smirking in its venom of spite
To see myself crawl in its loosened skin
And become one with its kin
The slits of his eyes frighten me
But I welcome his sick visions
Who made these sticky decisions?
Time … to do something
To help you—to break me to pieces
I am the slime where you have broken through…so revolting
Time … to shake the sand away
To relieve the burning eyes from the blindness
Time to dip them in the cool water of action
Time …
To close up again
I wimper in the dark like a lost hound..

I am so afraid
Lost … but always found


Details | Blank verse | |

Standing in the Darkness yet again

Once again trapped in the darkness with worded guns still trapped, 
Im just trying to make a statement that will make it on this American map, 
Im getting old as I only live this youth once so I best live it searching for light in darkness of black,
 Years gone by a lost youth going away time lost that I wont ever get back, 
So it best I get back on the track......... 
Now iz a tyme for flames hope I spark this, 
Poetry like mine many will come from places near and far and embark in this, 
I will literally be the found ancient lost seen lockness..... 
Lord please guide this soul as I am standing in the darkness......yet again....


Details | Ballad | |

Therion

Slayer of dreams and reality Bow down to his Therion Majesty Vowed to Be beyond Spiritual Supremacy, But too Frail, but too Weak, Were these words of The Transgressor of Our Argentine Destiny Reigned with Blood And with Blood You shall Fall Never denounce the ways of The Wicked For the Wicked you Have Become I'm Not your gracious Jesus Christ, Saving you from the blood-sodden Ice, But you Are The Beast Therion Majesty Can't control your own destiny The one who used to fight monsters, Became a Monster Himself Look beyond the Book, See the Truth lying there, Gagged and Hooked, Silence screaming to Be Free The Draconian Revelation Will Save thee The same Cold Pressure has erupt inside The Beast dwells in your Pride Dipped in Argentine and Insanity, Captivated by the touch Never looking beyond the Sin, For the Scene remains Empty I'm Not your gracious Jesus Christ, Saving you from the blood-sodden Ice, But you Are The Beast Therion Majesty Can't control your own destiny The one who used to fight monsters, Became a Monster Himself In your mind When the world Falls, Parodiso will open her halls But not for you, Inferno Cries out for you Forever Malaoda will Be your destiny I'm Not your gracious Jesus Christ, Saving you from the blood-sodden Ice, But you Are The Beast Therion Majesty Can't control your own destiny The one who used to fight monsters, Became a Monster Himself


Details | Free verse | |

The Dying Limb

So tightly squeezed shut
Is the flow to healthy flesh,
That might by your release 
Ramble back and return again.

The tireless dancer sends an echo,
Desperate, pressing,
Pulsing into the vice
So far from home.


Details | Rhyme | |

Your Wrong

I walk on eggshells hoping he does not explode,
 into a burst of anger that only me he shows,
 that he wont say that word i know is going to hurt me,
 and if i try to fight back i know he will desert me,
 so i lower my voice and plead quite quietly,
 for the pain to go away even if it does not leave silently,
 but no matter how i react i know it will not matter,
 because then he begins to yell so loud it makes my body shatter,
 i know this is not right but i cant find the strength to leave,
 im scared of stepping forward because im afraid my heart will bleed,
 its been stabbed and bruised and its aching with every beat.
 what happened to the girl i knew her head is now always at her feet,
 no one understands her everyone believes his lies,
 and even through her tears no one answers any of her cries,
 blame is shifted backwards she takes it on her shoulders,
 she wished someone would of warned her someone would of told her, 
everyone says that she is wrong and to blame for his own actions,
 her jaw drops in shock at his supporters' reactions,
 she is not allowed to talk or to of herself defend,
 if she dare try its over its the end,
 its a losing battle she possesses no sword no armor,
 a free ranged target for him its easy to harm her,
 he has no remorse nothing to regret,
 because if she speaks against it a blaming scene is set,
 she is wrong for making him feel guilty and pointing out the truth,
 because then she is overreacting and she is wrong for feeling used,
 so in the end of it all she is the cause of his misery,
 and he says he is better off without her and that he wants to be set free


Details | Verse | |

Somewhere, Right Now

Somewhere, right now, a child is crying.
Somewhere, right now, a child is dying,
at the hands of a monster that feels no shame.
How could you hurt a child?
The eyes of innocent souls
marked with pain and fear,
scarred forever with wound that will never heal.

Somewhere, right now, a girl looks in the mirror
and doesn't want to live with what she sees.
They call her ugly.
They call her stupid.
They call her fat or useless or crazy.
A child should live with love and kindness.
She doesn't want to live at all.

Somewhere, right now, a child is praying.
She hopes that tonight will never come.
When the lights go out the war begins.
She'll fight.
She'll cry.
She'll try to run.
But the battle is over.
The enemy won.
She lies there raw and cold and used
with the knowledge that night will come again
in her painful nightmare without an end.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

TIME SOAKED

      All this blood,
still remaining upon my hands;
   Has now completely penetrated,
  the thickness of my skin.
     Time Soaked,
         too deep...

Stain over Stain,
   forever still remain;
from where the blood of others,
  has constantly been drained.
Hostage no more,
   to the sins of my fallen Brothers...

       Time Soaked; 
       Too deep,
    Into my flesh,
Now running through my stream;
   A joining together;
     Time Soaked,
             Too Deep...


Details | Free verse | |

kept vs release

Since we cannot be I will always envy
the person that comes after me; the one that is keepable.  


Details | I do not know? | |

the one way street of love

Sitting here trembling in fear wishing I could drink a beer,
Entrapped in my own prison,
and I cant stop seeing you in my visions,
as these fore walls taunt my every decision,
I keep wishing ,
if I knew now what I knew then,
my screams would sound a lot different 
the bottle my was short term escape, 
after 7 or 8 thinking of you slowed 
after 11 or 12 your name would unload 
but by morning I am back imprisoned,
strung out on coffee,
I fear of closing my eyes,
finding excuses to stay awake,
for this I know is not fake.
When I see you my heart skips a beat 
I cant even stand on my feet 
a minuet fells like weeks ,
seeing you happy is my life goal 
this is what I am working for 
it may be to late for me 
but I want to set you free 
that will put my soul at ease  


Details | Rhyme | |

Alone and Afraid

Alone and Afraid?

There was someone I knew,
alone and afraid...
Her husband left her…
She felt betrayed!

I remember seeing her look
of despair…
Was there anyone who
really cared?

This was a very
 difficult situation.
A lot of heartache and frustration!

I remember seeing her 
 at church before.
But no one sees her anymore!

People would pass her by,
Seemingly, not concerned…
Even though things in her life,
had taken “the wrong turn.”

Aren’t we to help the widows
 and single mothers too?
This is what God’s word 
asks of me and you!

As the body of Christ... 
We should serve one another.
Reaching out to the widow
 and single mother.

We must let them know they’re
not forgotten!
Before their lives hit
“rock bottom”

This is a command Christ 
Wants us to do!
He’d do the same for 
ME and for YOU!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

A Prayer For Healing

Father,
Do not let me be the demon I have created me to be.
I am the product of myself and my negativity.
I trust You.
I love You.
I thank You.
In Your name,
We pray,
Amen.


Details | Lyric | |

False Senses

Do you realize that you lost? Do you realize that I won? Or did you think it was a tie In your sick twisted mind? Stuck in your lies Concrete at your feet You never took a step You never made a sound When the gun was fired And I ran for my life Do you realize that you lost? Battered and tossed By your own malfunction Wires you crossed Leaning on a crutch From wounds self inflicted Do you realize that I won? Running like fire Brighter than the sun Autumn behind my head Summer in my eyes So near the finish line The reward is mine Or did you think it was a tie? Tangled web behind your eyes Wrapped in delusions Coming to false conclusions In your sick twisted mind Do you realize that you lost? Do you realize that I won? Or did you think it was a tie In your sick twisted mind? Stuck in your lies Concrete at your feet You never took a step You never made a sound When the gun was fired And I ran for my life


Details | Free verse | |

Music Box

Ballerina prisoner figurine  
Such beauty locked away
Only dances 
When she sees the light of day

But, in my mind
Her twirls are reminiscent
Of forgotten memories, round and round
Stirring music weighs

So, I hide her still
Under key
And silence
Hoping she is forgiving

Until a fondness of providence is found
That soon soul will awaken
Her gracefulness hopes of ironies 
O' may she dance her way back among my living


Details | Free verse | |

Flowers Cry Too

I cry the way the petals fall, Slowly but surely.


Details | Lyric | |

Fields of Blasphemy

Where shall I flee? I’m swimming in the waters of misery…
And I’m crying a river…I’m saturated in woe 
How do I think cheerfully? I’m lost in the abyss…and the shadows won’t let me be… 
And I’m bewildered… I’m fighting to break free… 

(I can’t break free…
Where do I flee?
Why can’t I break free?)
The spiders are spinning their webs above me…
Bless me and untangle me from this madness…please… give me peace…I’m wasting away – 

They’re preying upon me…they’re whipping me … warping their way inside of me
My saliva drips on the ground…I’m growing numb and I pray
The monsters don’t attack my heart’s desires…if I let them break free,
I’ll never be the same…I’ll never see the light of day

Where do I belong? I’m roaming in the fields of blasphemy 
And I’m crying a river…I feel like an awful disgrace… 
How do I find a pathway? I’m lost in fields of weeds…they’re producing catastrophe 
And I’m bewildered… I’m trying to finish the race… 

(I can’t keep pace…
The sweat is trickling down my face…
Why can’t I keep pace?)
The wasps are chasing after me…where do I flee?
Caress me and save me from the distress…stinging me in pleasure…I’m drifting away – 

They’re hovering all around me… they’re harassing me…could you wipe away my tears?
Find me a place of rest…to make the sufferings end and I pray
The darkness will stop spreading lies in my head…if I throw away my fears, 
I’ll never learn to face my fears…I’ll never know His way…

Where shall I go? I’m roaming in the fields of blasphemy 
And I’m crying a river…I’m saturated in woe 
How do I find the key? I’m lost in fields of weeds…they’re reproducing catastrophe
And I’m bewildered… 

I’m yearning to let go… 
I’m learning to cope with my fears…
I’m deserting my woe…
I’m wiping away the tears... 
(that has been bottled up for many years… )

The spiders have ensnared me in their webs…
I’m in danger…I’m wrapped up in distress…
 and there is no where to hide… 
The wasps are tracking me down...I haven’t paid my debts…
I’m struck in alarm…I’m in a mess…
Please stay by my side – catch me as I collide
( We’re all together on this ride… )

I can’t break free (please relieve me from my despair) 
Why can’t I break free? Where do I flee? (this pain is too much to bear)
I can’t keep pace (give me the energy to shine like the sun)
Why can’t I keep pace? Why can’t I finish this race? (give me some strength to run)


Details | Rhyme | |

crucify me

drown me in hate, bleed me dry,
So I rise up in love with the tears that I cry,
cut the chord, bound me in chain,
Batter me, beat me until I feel no pain,
Torture my body so there's no will to live,
Take from me until I've no more to give,
Rip out my soul, leave me there hung,
Throw me to old, steal me from young,
Remove my sight so your face I can't see,
change who I am so I am no longer me,
Let me crawl the walls that lock me in tight,
Hide me from day, forbid me from night,
Punish my ears with a never ending song,
Lock me away so I no longer belong,
Drag me from Here, surround me with sin,
Starve me of all until my body wears thin,
Crucify me, like on the lords final day, 
Put me on a cross, force me to pray 
Dig me a grave, bury me alive,
So I never see light, so I no longer survive.


Details | Free verse | |

Pawn

And so do I fall, and so do I fail,
Falling so deeply into this destructive void,
Nothing but ash and specs of dust that were once my brittle bones and scarred flesh.

To not know what is ahead,
How maddening! How so distraught have I seemingly become,
Forgotten myself as time has smoothed over me.

Tricky, sly fiend indeed; master and slave a like to us all.

Do I dare move forward into the uncertainty that is humanity and of such society?
So gut wrenching, thoughts filled of bile at what is.

As we all are from and are the same, yet tear limb by limb the essence of ourselves by one another in an endless state of bigotry and violence; so brightly are we bathed in evil.

So easy is it to see.

Miracles; perhaps shall they see fit to carry me away from the void that is, and from such temptation, as to live the rest of days in blissful, stagnant dreams.


Details | Free verse | |

EVERYWHERE

they call themselves martyrs and blow themselves up

killing families and young children destroying everything around them

they dress up in camoflauge and strap on a bulletproof vest

go in to gyms and schools and start shooting without remorse

they cut brake lines and set fires and kill the innocent

leaving a path of destruction with blood stained tears to reminisce

hostle takeovers and kidnapping cutting babies out the womb

burning down churches and raping little boys and girls

fearing the eyes of the man who loves them

targeting husbands and wives on vacation

creeping into the unknown in a world that we call home

facing uncertainty in the moment of belief

unnknown answers to questions that we never wanna ask

embaressed to come forth with the evidence that we have

unsure of our religion because it contridicts everything we know

saying goodbye to yesturday making room for whats new

unable to understand or comprehend the logic behind man's mind

knowing that if we understood it would drive us insane

bleeding from the roots of evil that were implanted in our souls

no way out no where to run the pain is in instilled in us all the same

theres no exception to the rule just is what it is

every man for his own even if it means killing his own kids 


Details | Ballade | |

Tell Me Its Real

Your tear drop fell into my palm,
I held it as if it were a jewel to my soul so calm.
My thumbs whipped away your troubles and sorrows,
You poured your heart out to me like never before, like it was stories.

I listened very carefully and silent,
Your voice sounded as if it was frightened. 
So understand when I say that you will not need anyone anymore,
Anyone to listen to you, or even smile with you, and I say it from the core. 

Now a little refreshment for your thought,
Tell me that this is what you sought.
Did you see this coming, us being so close and in love like steal to steal,
Now one more thing, please tell me what we have is real, tell me its real.


Details | Rhyme | |

she left him

He's lost and confused and hides behind his smile 
He's afraid and sorry, has felt like this for a while 
The pain he feels is because he never got to say goodbye 
She's gone and wont be back, he wonders why
what's supposed to be the best day of his life is now his worst
No one understands why he runs from it, he tries not to burst 
Most can't see but a few can tell
He used to feel on top of the world and within a few seconds he fell
it came and went so fast, it's just a blur 
he can't let go, spends his days missing her
He's trapped in his head, can't find his way out 
a couple people know what it's about 
He doesn't and will never understand, to him its a curse 
day after day, the pain gets worse
he holds his head up high
deep inside he's so frustrated, tries not to cry 
all i can do is be the best niece that i can be 
and stand in the sidelines and wait for the day when my uncle breaks down and really needs me


Details | Rhyme | |

The darkest moment

The world is bleak the world is dark There is no spark left in my life A worthless journey with worthless goals Made up with years of empty holes There is no future there is no gain Just a life so filled with pain Treasured things so out of reach Were never meant for me to keep I had so wished to find a love That moulded just like hand and glove I always gave an inch or two To keep a love that felt so true So much to give, so much to share With one that cared enough to care I have no wish to struggle on The war is over the world has won ©Elisabeth Dubois – 2012


Details | I do not know? | |

in my own tears

ghost from the past 
time is moving so fast 
trembling in my own tears 
trying to fight all my fears
standing in the rain 
felling like I just got hit my a train 
wishing I could turn off my brain 
I have nothing left to gain 
all I fell is pain 
haunted from our memories 
I fell they have become my enemies 
I see you even when I blink 
it really makes a guy think 
what happen to us
I cant believe I mad such a fuss 
I wish I had your trust 
you are still my high school crush 
seeing you still makes me blush 
your better then a royal flush
people think they have what we do 
but know one ever will 
being with you is a thrill
being with you is real 
I wish we where going uphill
you where the only one who could fulfill
four you I would have captured bunker hill
but right now your just a ghost 
haunting me, taunting me, and flaunting in front of me 
how i wish we could still be 


Details | I do not know? | |

The Last Time Censored and Incomplete

For the third time he’s got her, he’s trying to get it in;
She’s saying no, but whatever… he just won’t listen.
“Stop, Get the f--- off me! Don’t touch me… NO!”
She’s fighting, she’s glaring, but he isn't letting go.
People walking by, glimpse, looks away;
Pleading with her eyes, still no one stays…
From that moment she realized nobody cares,
Because when she needed someone, no one was there.

He’s groping her everywhere; her petite frame is crushed-
Between his body and a wall... the opposite of plush;
She’s in uniform; and inspection is in an hour,
Whining as he abuses her, draining all of her power…
There’s an opening, she strikes… she tries to run;
He grabs her by her hair, throws her around, he isn't done.
Feeling every jab in her back gritting against the wall,
And every time he draws back with his hand curled into a ball…

She now fears that anytime she strikes, he’ll strike back,
And it seems that manners are something that he unfortunately lacks.
So she stops hitting, she just pushes and blocks,
But he’s so d--- big! Like a boulder, a rock…
Hold in your tears; don’t let him see you cry,
Playing over through her mind like a lullaby.
 
She keeps on her face disgust and anger as he violates her everywhere;
Hoping for a hero, in the parking lot, past the cars…she just stares. 
It’s over, he walks her to class and she’s in a daze;
Feeling so exposed, angry, and ashamed...
...
..
.


Details | Free verse | |

The dream

"...Even if it kills me to do so in the end." I said having a tighter grip than before "You ready?" I then start dragging her out of the darkness realizing we might never escape it "Just hold on!" I exclaim looking into her eyes then back at the darkness "I won't let go." I say as we both get sucked into the darkness, we both then start to fade and I still have her hand screaming her name as we dissappear.


Details | I do not know? | |

Ketchup Stains You

The night you tried I was trying to enjoy a cheeseburger I called your bluff blindly I was bored by you You decided to prove me wrong I heard the distinct click the noisy pop my burger dropped I had ringing in my ears It landed on the plate bloody with ketchup ketchup splatters everywhere Burgers remind me of you I don't dare eat them They make me sick.


Details | Couplet | |

A Life Saving Whim

We are going to Corfu, what a great thing,
Come on its booked, let’s go and buy everything.

‘Hang on,’ say’s hubby, 'In Corfu it rains a lot'.
'I want more sun, not the rain, we have already got.'

But it’s booked we are ready one week to go,
‘I want to change it’ he says, 'so to Rhodes we will go.’

At that time we didn’t know what a crossroads that was, 
Instead of Corfu, we changed it because,

My husband and I wanted more sun than the rain
That was the point in changing our plane.

Ok, we are at the airport, now watching and waiting
The flight we were booked on was just to the runway taking.

It stopped all of a sudden and smoke did appear,
The poor people on board, they could not get out of her.

We had changed our holiday on a whim because of rain
Fifty Four people died in front of us on that plane.

The plane we had booked but had changed at the end
Took all of those lives but our prayers we did send.

The crossroads had appeared we were lucky that day
We had changed our course and our lives that we can say.

But to the families of those that perished back then
We have never forgotten and ours prayers still go out for them.


Details | Ballad | |

Breaking bread

Tiny dirty hands layered in filth, grim under the nails, what dread do you face as you toil and toil throughout the long frightful day?

There is no comfort behind broken walls, no comfort in mothers arms, no safety offered to your wondering soul. Tiny hands scavenge for food, finding only aged bones with little meat, few scraps to feed your aching abdomen. Those hands so small, so cold, trembling uncontrollably, wrapped around your petite frame, your mind replaying “How will I survive today?” But you toil, toil on.

The water there is none. Only blackened pools of thick mud and how you long to taste the cool refreshing drips on your tongue, to soak your calloused and bruised toes, but that fantasy has long been gone.

Feeling as though you where made to suffer, made to grieve, want and never  to obtain you start to weep. Those hands, those tiny dirty hands reach up and gently push aside the free falling tears that seem to never stop.

Though you can’t see her, her pain is real.
A child of hunger, a child of fear, her wanting is palpable, honest, and correct, no lusting just dreams all shattered by circumstance and sadly she is not alone.

So as you sit in your homes surrounded by loving faces, grand objects and perfectly set dinner places, give thanks as your hands, clean and untouched by poverty break bread.


Details | Free verse | |

What I've Become

I've become tired all the time
And I wake up at noon
My dreams are too realistic and
Nightmares have begun to 
comfort me 
With their broken, clipped, 
harsh sounds

I've become to breathe with 
effort
It is no longer an automatic 
mechanism that requires no 
help
But a project that I work on all 
day
Processing the steps and 
remembering my task
Like a child learning her first 
song

I've become to keep to myself
Never joining for meals or 
Leaving the comfort of my cold, 
dark room
Where nobody will disturb me
It will be just me and music

I've become emotionless
Like a rock, or a dirty street 
curb
I will provide you with no 
sympathy
Or gratitude
Only a solid form that has a 
presence

I've become dysfunctional
Because one of my pillars has 
been taken down
One of strings was strummed 
too many times
One of my gears needs oiled
And one of my organs needs 
repaired


I am not myself.  

And who are you?


Details | Rhyme | |

Curse of a Princess

Fairytales,
and butterflies,
in this story,
we begin with lies,
promises,
we never kept,
I should have held on tighter,
when you wept,
small mistakes,
on both our parts,
added up,
to shred our hearts,
creeping shadows,
behind the flowers,
in what we thought,
were our finest hours,
talking grass,
crystal snow,
in our lie of love,
a hidden foe,
the evil witch,
her claws aimed to kill,
t'was she who pushed you,
down the hill,
a broken crown,
a forgotten well,
to live without you,
was her spell,
an evil curse,
she cast in spite,
although we loved, 
with all our might,
kept apart,
by what was said,
in regret,
our hearts bled,
watch from afar,
speak in vein,
a curse taken course,
inflicted pain,
and so it began,
with love and lies,
our fairytale ends,
and we both die...


Details | Verse | |

Infinite Bliss

Bite my tongue
Choke on my words
Spell out the letters
That must remain unheard
No one should hear the desperate screams
Coming from deep within me
No one should see my soul as it burns
Without peace I'll always be
No one listens to the pleas I cry
They ignore me every day
No one sees the blood I shed
And I wouldn't have it any other way
I don't want them to know I suffer
And die inside when I'm alone
I'd rather pretend I'm fine for their sake
But I don't care when I'm at home
I am depressed and with good reason
You shouldn't judge me for this
But I'll stick out life till its end
And die to reach infinite bliss


Details | Lyric | |

It's Obvious

I was introduced into the vast illusions of life.
Some people call it love, others call it a knife.
Cutting your skin so you can bleed.
Each drop is a distraction from what you need.
You close your eyes and take the pain.
Then all your worries are temporarily in vain. 
No progress, no digress
Just that moment to believe that more is less.
Oh and you grieve from your hopelessness
You accept the fact that you have lost your happiness
You cry, You scream! Help is what you seek
No one hears though, we just ignore and call you a freak
All this segregation
All this quote on quote integration
The only thing it does is make the big seem bigger 
And the small seem smaller.
Belief is the only thing you keep
You grasp it so tightly and put it under your feet
Each step is a different view
You’re looking around for something new
Eyes stay open, Heart is listening
Your intentions are bright and glistening.
You want to change from mad
And achieve the beautiful emotion of simple glad  
Battle this depression, get away from this mess and
Find a whole new state of mind open for progression.
Your voice sounds desperate.
Your scars show desperate. 
You are desperate, and you’ve made a mess of it.
But it’s obvious to me,
That you can finally see
How to overcome the desperation
And use your failures as inspiration.
Yes, it’s obvious to me.


Details | Free verse | |

The Lords people in a Corrupt World

I see the world crumbling around me, people losing their moral ground
Following what they think is right rather than what they truly know is right. 
Most people really are uneducated sheep and cannot see what’s right in front of their faces. 

So many even mock the Lord and his word as if he didn’t exist and even openly say with conviction that theirs no GOD! And instead there small minds worship a sport as if it was their GOD?! 

It really disgusts me and breaks my heart to see how far mankind has gone and I fear for their souls as they do not know what they do. 

Dear Lord please have mercy and help show them the way, its easy for them to be distracted and miss lead with all they hear and are shown in this corrupt world without its true intentions shown.

GOD Bless all the Lords people and hold your heads high as the true fight is yet to happen and when it does . .  We’ll fight until we die!

Amen 


Details | Free verse | |

World War 3

You may view my life as perfect
and I do too when I look at it
from the outside.
But in reality I view my world as a world war
If something is perfect in my life
I somehow make it look like an 
old decrepit dried up melting flower
it looks and feels like an old abandon house
waiting to be demolished 
to keep the underage kids away
from smashing my already shattered windows
and engraving anymore names to my wall of shame.
"Greg was here" is written all over 
as if it were some kind of cult.
Their digging their names into me
to show off to the new comers that decided 
to explore my cave of disasters that
they were once there. 
No one wants to be forgotten
but in my world, I am.


Details | Blank verse | |

Solitude

The old man wept at his wife leaving for the conveyance home… 
She was brittle now and age had ravished her body and mind…
He had acquired great solitude, which was not welcoming...
It was not welcoming, nor was it kind…
He was now a vacant, hollow king sitting upon a lonely throne…
His queen and loyal subjects had left him all alone…
He was left with nothing but his memories, and just a little time…
This solitude wasn’t welcoming…
It was not welcoming, nor was it kind…


Details | Light Poetry | |

Down and Out

How I hate the way I feel today,
   I just want everything to go away.
Don't know if I am angry or sad ,
  All I know is that it feels real bad.
Everything is so mixed up inside ,
  Confused by it all I just want to cry.
Closing my eyes trying to get some rest,
   Doesn' help much getting only moments at best.
Hoping for nightfall is what I want now,
   Praying tomorrow will be better some how.
How I hate these days when I am down ,
   Wishing nobody would ever come around.
Asking myself why I am in this mood,
   What will it take to change my attitude.
Surely there is something to make me smile,
   I wonder if there is because it's been awhile.
Reading the book to maybe see my way through,
   It doesn't help either I am still feeling blue.
Listening to others and what they have to say,
   Changes nothing at all I still feel this way.
Why are there days I feel so down and out ,
   Makes me want to just scream and shout.
Wait for the morning sunrise is what I'll do,
   Possibly then I will be able to talk to you.
Oh how I do not like the way I feel today,
   It's just the worst ever feeling this way.
TAC


Details | Ballad | |

My Reckless Ways

I'm drowning in the tears from the sorrows of my reckless ways, now its just facing the days. If only i could've realized sooner what i have done, now the bricks are crumbling by the ton. Open my eyes and now i see, all i want from you is to forgive me. So you bring that poor dog in from the rain, though he just wants right back out again. I always find myself making the same mistake, i change and things break. Now its tough to see the light, sometimes i wish it was bright. So it could be easier to face the day, nothing gold can stay. Like mud on the pavement, it eventually washes away.....


Details | I do not know? | |

Eventually

frowns show depression
smiles show an expression
tears show the pain
and kisses are in vain
his heart is not for you
though you don't know it
but soon enough his actions will show 
it


Details | Ballade | |

Padock filled with bulls

The paddock’s filled with bulls
All waiting there to die
They don’t have too much future
For the farmer, he’s the guy
Who has the power of life, and death
He decides what lives and dies
As he fattens each beast carefully
That’s where his money lies.

I see these creatures roaming round
And it makes me feel quite sad
To know that for my appetite
These beasts be treated bad
The taste of steak is mighty good
But what a price we pay
I eat my share of it, that’s true
Perhaps I’ll stop one day!

One paddock filled with bulls
It opens my eyes wide
To realize these wondrous beasts
Throughout the years have died
So I might feast with bulging belly
It really is not fair
Living on this little farm
It fills my heart with care.

2006


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Light

The life that was wrapped in her voice
Faded then died.
Overwhelming sorrow filled her eyes.
She fell to her knees,
And cried to the sky.
Death only looked at her,
His smile was wry.
Her fingers searching in the darkness, 
trying to find the light.
Instead she found strength, 
and the courage to fight.
She stood and said,
“ I am the wrath of the man who died alone in flight.”
“ I am the wrath of the child who died tonight.”
“ I am the wrath of the woman who’s lost her light.”
Death had never been so pale.
“STOP!” he roared.
But his battle was lost, 
Her light was restored.
The darkness that existed was no more.
Death would come back to settle the score,
Until then she would prepare for the war.


Details | Free verse | |

Familiars

Ah, here you have come again,
Again you sit in this chair,
How familiar this room so is,
So solitaire in your life, ha, how fair it is,

How you engulf those emotions in bitter fire,
Drown your frown in a realization of emptiness,
How you realize the loneliness and abandonment of your mind,
Your hope and wish to fill the empty, lonely void,

Perhaps one day it shall all change,
But in the now you suffer,
You wonder your discoveries,
How enlightening were they really?

Hanging your head so low,
As if seeming to pray in the eyes of others,
In amidst reality you hide the corners of your saddened mouth,
Your hands caressing the wounded mask,

To lose yourself in words,
You search for comfort,
A faded hand upon your shoulder,
But your shoulders carry only the burdens of others,

To have your shoulders broken,
No others to offer theirs up,
You watch the river wash you away,
As you drown and ascend to your new home up above.


Details | Senryu | |

The Mental Institution

Rain is falling
The Children groaning
Gates keep closing...


Details | Free verse | |

Ashes to Ashes

Why speak
when words become weak
and everything you want is in the darkness
and you are forever alone

Happiness will never meet you
and your prince will never seek you
You will die unknowing
from your heart with blood flowing

Beating and pumping
all of your life into nothing
You'll be a stain on the soil
until dust in the face of turmoil


Details | Light Poetry | |

Hard Times Are Here

In this Global ressession it causes many to fall into a deep
pit of depression and fills them with dispair as they wonder 
is there anyone to show they care?

They loose faith and hope, for they simply cannot cope with the
worlds financial scope. 
Although we live in critical times and are hard to deal with the effects
of the stress caused by these situations are sad and real for these ones
we truly feel.

Will things ever get resolved in this financial crisis well the verdict is pretty much 
going to stay like this as the world is in need of a major fix but who is there to 
undo and repair all the damage that's taken place all before our very face.

If people looked to a higher source they could take a positive course as there
is a force stronger than humankind and to many people they are just blind to it
which is sad to say, but for those who do we keep on and pray for one day they 
might say Yes it is true there is a God in existance and believe he will bring about
the peace and happiness to give us a full release from the wickedness in the
 world that will  soon cease.


Details | Rhyme | |

Please Stay, Shining Star

11/03/12
For DWB
---------------------------------

Please, Shining star, stay
I'll stand by you and wipe your tears away
Please, my friend, stay
I do not wish to say goodbye-so I pray
Please, oh please, my brother stay

I love you...I never told you before and I'm sorry- but it's true
I LOVE YOU
And I'll do all I can do
To make it up to you, and I promise I'll never abandon you again

Please stay shining star
You are amazing, you truly are
And I can't stand the thought of you being gone
Nothing would ever be the same...Life would be so- wrong

Please, Shining star, stay
I never meant to abandon you or leave you alone
And from now on I will not leave you on your own
Please, my brother-my friend, stay
Because we all...I need you here
I want you here
Please,
Please stay


Details | Free verse | |

THE PAIN OF BEING ME

too loose on the tears,
lost controlon the fears.
teh masks which i cry on;
i go on only for myself,
frightful of the consecquences.
too confuse in teh head,
nearly too insane to be dead.
I ama classic pain that goes on,
yet the rage in me to go against the storm lives on!
trying to change my life,
i seek to take control and make a difference.
but truth is, 
mybe, it's too late.
life just pass me by after high school high:
so much struggle against the will of the wind,
so much drama in my life,
it's like a bd high school musical play!!
sometimes living one day at a time isn't worth living at all!!!
love is the right motivation,
the drive is to earn something worthwhile before you're dead.


Details | Free verse | |

The Wasteland -part 2-

A long time passes and I am still here Silently insulting, brutally weeping But then I lift my head from the ground To see him standing there Towering over me in all endeavor of quietude Was he there the entire time? I feel his eyes but see only his stare I am dreaming again Has he returned to guide me? To frighten me back into reality? Who are you, entity of fear? I know death draws me near— But why, oh mystery, do you linger here? He never answers me, though still I try Why are you here? Must you hate me too? He pulls me up staring me down His thin, sophisticated form makes me feel hollow Empty features burning my vision As he bends facing me I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I hide. . . Why, I ask, my voice croaking Tell me why. . . He takes my hand as I cringe Walking me to the edge, his head tilted my way I shake like a dried leaf on the brink of autumn A small, pathetic part of me wants to thank him To believe all of this. . .is right How though, can I trust his blank sincerity? I am the only. . .the lonely But there he is beside me His long fingers intermingling in mine The sense of fear and confusion Sticking to me like grime I am the Slender Man—I am—your friend And for once I let him embrace me I cannot bear to flee He tenses and tightens his grip Dreading I may slip away in panic Please stay. . .please stay Soon it will all just go away. . . He is warm against me—alive Breathing slowly, I feel the beating of his heart Bashing my nerves—blurring my mind Tingles shoot down my spine As I stand there, so close to him We watch a sagging sunset As tears flow down my infected eyes I have learned to fly. . .to embrace the lies Squeezing my hand he holds me close As the black sun wearily lifts its head one last time Only to sink from its post I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I lie Slender Man cradles me in his tendrils Surrounding me like I am its sickly nourishment Whispering comforting falsehood I gaze beyond the wasteland Beyond myself. . . But there I find nothing Hand in hand we walk over the edge Heading yonder into the sheer, sweet Nothingness The demons watch us disappear Grinning from ear to ear I cannot see them now. . . But I can smell their fear -January 26, 2013-


Details | Free verse | |

Oh Well, Oh Well

I’m tired in this drop
The walls are all the same
I’m soaked now

In the midst of deteriorating
It hurts more than normal
I think it’s broken

The light up top is gone now
Just like the one down here
Oh well…  oh well.

The love inside the teardrops
Has turned to the coldest rain
Now there’s just the pain

It’s settled in my chest
Eating at my insides
Feeding at the dead lives

The end will not come quickly 
Not even quietly
For now, I just sigh at thee


Details | Free verse | |

Sanguinary Lord

A severe façade of loving tolerance Dipped in an argentine semblance The Consuls of The Cross Weaving a sweven of Welkin Where the checkered ones Are never allowed Their souls cast into the flames Of a greater decay The never ending pit Of eternal torment You turn the other cheek The one that wields the clandestine dagger The dreams of being free grow lighter and light The truth is shrouded by sister-Night Clinging onto existence Never eluding the resistance I will never adhere To your Sanguinary Lord Bestowing The Crusader’s reign Against the sand and the desert’s wane Barraging him over the frame In desperation to appease Screaming and shouting I will wash away your sins Decadence of the ones to throw the stones The ones to enforce the book Has left your lies dry and ready to die No more tears are left to cry No more screams are left to scream No More blood to be split No more graves to be dug


Details | Verse | |

End

My heart sinks in terror
that this beat may be its last,
that the pulse will stop.
I fear that the end is near.

Guilt suffocates my throat
at the thought of painting a grey mask
on the faces of those whom I love.
They fear that the end is close.

I shudder at the thought
that our names will be forgotten,
that their memento will turn to dust.
For remembrance we plead as the end is impending.

Regret poisons my mind with its toxins.
My aims aren’t fulfilled.
My life has not begun.
 It’s the end itself that I fear. 
There is so much joy I look forward to,
so much success, passion, love.
I plan my future with delight and hope, 
yet I know that the end has come. 


Details | Free verse | |

COLOURS OF DESPAIR

Images; pitiful black images
suckling frantically from dry, empty breasts.
Black eyes; wide open, fearful, but
mercifully blind to destiny's most unforgiving hand.

Victims:tormented by the incessant heat of the sun's bejewelled rays,
mercy is fleeting; uncompromising
shades of hopelessness cocoon innocent souls;
But Fate will cast its untimely shadow
Black is the colour of despair.


Details | Rhyme | |

if this is really what you wanted, how about you make it happen

you've got a mean streak about you, that makes you such a disgrace
you laugh at me and shove me around and hit me in my face
i'm sick of the way you treat me, and how your always knocking down my dreams 
everyone says your perfect for me, but its never what it seems 
because your so messed up, and it took me so long to see 
that you'd end up this way, why would i let this be
i thought you'd change with my love, but i could never make you happy
i did everything for you, but nothing could make you love me 
so here i am lying around the room you locked me in, and trying to hide behind my strength
but its slipping fast, i have nothing left because you've stolen all my faith 
you took the girl i was and the woman i was hoping i could be
but she died down fast when she noticed all the faults you see
and i tried hard to get away from you but you've done nothing but thrown me around
there's no way to get back up and out after you shove me to the ground 
and i would run and hide, try to get away, if it wasn't for the threats 
so ill just lie around wasting my life away because you seem to know me best


Details | Lyric | |

Suffering Is The Same As Living

Hope, tonight, is just a void Love is destroyed Reality impending my doom Suffering a dream that was never made for me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Don’t worry I’ll be fine I can just wait, wait as in all eternity You deserve to be happy and free I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Suffering is the same as living Tonight I might, Today I may Set you free away from me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me You travel all across in my veins Showing you share my pain But my life was never meant for me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me I'm sorry for those days I've ruined your life Best you just ignore, forevermore I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Suffering is the same as living Tonight I might, Today I may Set you free away from me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Suffering is the same as living Tonight I might, Today I may Set you free away from me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me
**Morten Veland, Guitarist, Male Vocalist and Main Songwriter of Sirenia, formerly of Tristania**


Details | Free verse | |

the night the moon refused to shine

on this stage
 as i face the struggle within
 setting the past aside
 i've grown used to my indecent hostilities
 transfixed by the sadness of poverty 

i tire of the disappearance of life
 doing things no one appreciates 

i try to ignore the irrational
 shall i go on- keeping up the payments of life? 

all the crazy torment, of taking chances
 i utter the words while the past twists and turns
 as I keep talking it over with me...with God
 
covered in despair i feel like a discoverer...
 on a ship with no life raft moved to the side of the river 

i've fought through the inevitableness of agony
 accused of an increase of emptiness
 i've sacrificed romance forever
 with the time ticking away 

time has no explanation
 it's all- or nothing
 along the path with life's mortgage past due
 haunting memories -rehashing the disorder of belief
 
i assessed my expectations
 i'm just too tired to play the games anymore
 i accuse destiny of my dying inside
 
i inherit threats of leaving
 coloring the days and nights for the time being
 in this land of dreams, an unbearable obsession devours me...
 i was so torn by the exit of you
 somehow i've grown accustomed of losing everybody in this life
 should i let my despair show...
 beholding an obscure face
 with tears refusing to cry their wetness
 breaking apart
 feeling nothing
 as the moon lights the frozen lake? 

sizing up all this misery
 i don't know how i got here
 hardly moving through the being of this world 

are the fish still biting...
 in the loneliness of this unsavory landscape? 

across the street i laugh at the untutored shouts
 of night's uncertainty...
 it's all so altogether painful 

i expose everything
 tricked by the bitterness of change in the unproductive rain
 
i'm drifting through things of the past
 complete with prophetic discontent
 
i tell you... the nonchalance of it all is disgusting
 the difficulty of pretending about my place in this world
 setting everything in motion as the night passes
 i face stale foolishness
 
love is just so much unplanned profanity...
 the misbegotten affairs- the liars, the cheaters
 what uncolorful experiences
 
i move through life's hurt
 as a grenadiers song is playing
 and all those sterile people I choose to leave alone
 
now, at this time in the night...
 the night the moon refused to shine
 i'm in seclusion dropping out
 in the yellow of the cold december moonlite
 wanting to leave behind
 the hurt -the damage
 lost in grief
 one last time
 with no feelings left to share
 __________________________________________
 by anne p murray


Details | Ballad | |

Jock

Jock.

Now Jock he was a friend of mine
In those good old army days
When teenage boys were herded in
And made to change their ways
He told me one fine summer’s day
With a big blue sky above
"I'm glad that I'm a soldier boy
This army life I love".

They shipped him off to good old Nam
Placed a rifle in his hands
And said "now you're a soldier boy
I hope you'll understand
We're fighting those old Vietcong
You've got to see us right
You don't know what it's all about!!!
Nor us, just go and fight"

Poor Jock ain't with us any more
God bless his poor old mum
Our lad he was a forward scout
No use his bloody gun
As the flying metal put him down
Our jock the hero died
As politicians wined and dined
So many tears were cried.


Details | I do not know? | |

Something More

Striving to be content.  
Everyday….striving. 
Ignore the yearning
The knowing - there is something more
There was supposed to be something more
Just beyond reach
If you can only remember you can have it
Desperate
Angry
Has time run out?
Is it too late? 

That mistake
That defining mistake
You knew it before it was made
How can you be whole now?
Unmake it.
If you have the courage 
Yes!
(In truth – no)

Most days you can simulate
Well-being
Ease
Substance
You wear expressions 
Suggestions really
And sometimes….
It shows –
When you believe
You were not meant for more  






Details | Quintain (English) | |

A Mind Lost in Time

Can’t live with a mind that’s lost in time What’s the sense in living Can’t remember what I did yesterday Then what’s the sense in you forgiving Not sure where this life is heading Not wanting to end up forgetting and regretting But what is this life how do I live If the world I live in can’t forgive Cause time has taken my memories away Not a thought of yesterday or today My life feels incomplete…. I’m not trying to face defeat But what other choice do I have My life is not my own anymore it’s sad Oo yes poor me this life I have to live without memories


Details | I do not know? | |

Young Heart

From my youth,
I knew no goodness 
Teach me His truth
So that I will meet success

I hope I'm making little progress

From my youth,
I knew very little at first
Teach me Your truth 
Or I'll remain in thirst

I thirst for His spirit - to renew my faithfulness

I have a nourished heart
But, evilness broke it apart
I had an energetic soul  
But agony took its toll 

And now I pray
To Him who mends us all
To save my young heart
From the fear of losing control...

Do I still have an innocent, 
Young heart? 


Details | Verse | |

Unholy Fright

Blood like tears fell on the sheets
liquor held the lies,
sweating, noise, a rabid beat,
blood between two thighs.

Shamed in darkness, filled with might,
lost a holy site.
Made to know the painful sweet,
unholy love, between the sheets.

Poked, stroked, an unconscious mote,
knuckles ashen white
drool pooled, to large a tool,
unknown tick to tock fright.

Remember screamed the girl child
replete in her pain.
This is how, the black-heart came
when all there was went insane.

  


Details | I do not know? | |

Willow Tree

Who do you feel like today?
Do you even remember my name? 
 It's been 8 years since then,
Has the willow tree we sat under gone dead?

 I wonder if you've changed,
if you regret your biggest mistake.
 Do you feel the sorrow i feel?
Is this pain the only thing that feels real?

 I feel no sorrow now,
I only feel hatered for the world somehow,
 How could you rape your granddaughters?
And Forget your own son, My father?!

 How could you do this to me?
The only way how i feel now is to bleed.
 I put no effort, no feeling, no thought,
In the war, 
 This battle in my heart
 
 How do you feel like today?
Is it easier to know that your safe?
 Outta jail they let you out,
Why so you can pay your road to hell?

 So i plant me a willow tree,
right above the grass,
 below the leaves.

 I lay here below this willow tree,
My only friend beside of me,
 The memories still remain, 
Alone,
 But it's better off this way


Details | Rhyme | |

Which Way

You're just as messed up
I don't know which way to turn
I can't find my way
Which bridge do I burn

I search for the light
I only find the dark
I hide deep in the night
I hide from the suns first spark

I pray for a solution
My head is spinning
I'm stuck in a dillusion
My life I'm sinning

I seek out the truth
Now you see my pain
Depression devoured my youth
My happiness jumped on a train

I know where I belong
I know what I want
Which way do I turn
Your memories I'll haunt

*Written on April 20, 2012*


Details | Free verse | |

ON THE STREET

I noticed her, she looked well bred 
Enthusiastic eyes, sand wiped skin, dark
Trying hard to look casual

Then I saw her, looking thin
Worried eyes, forced smile, walking
Trying to look casual

One day she stopped me, asked me for a light
Flirtatious eyes, looking bright
She passed a casual remark

A year later I saw her, well bred with a black eye
Sitting on a door slab with a cigarette
I passed by, looking casual

I passed her by for days and nights
Until one night, two nights, she was gone

©david byrne sept ‘12


Details | Free verse | |

House Of Cards

I forget that I’m in trapped in a house of cards
until the wind comes blasting through
And I’m left again with nothing
Nothing but grief and this pile of all that I knew

I had to forget how much I cared for you
Something no one should ever have to do
Can you remember? Do you remember?
Those darkly happy days when you felt that way too?

Love so many bitter times unrequited
Two hearts broken----too broken to break anymore
You’ve become my dark horse in this race against time 
And I hope to God we’re not about to lose 

Futile 
Infantile
And all around absurd 
Is what this nightmare without you has been

We shouldn’t have to work so hard
To fall flat down on our faces
again and again

I wish you’d come out of your shell
and back to life in the warmth of my arms once again


Details | Free verse | |

Barnacles on Bones

  Sirens call
       And tempests toss
      
        The Dutchman asks his due.

 Scythed by moonlight
        the dark crystal sea beckons
 To the romantic, the foolhardy
          The adventurous and unwise.
 
   The sea is a wicked lover
 Every seven years
           You’ll threaten her yoke
                   Tempted by the land
            

   But Lorelei will not be idle.
   Your song she will yet sing

sinewy seaweed snakes
round your limbs
pulling you

Under
Under
Under
 
As bubbles like drowned pearls
Leave your lips like a kiss


Details | Lyric | |

A One-man Boat

Why do I strive so much in life
This heart of mine cease to refine
Of hope and love and tranquility
I give and give, yet scarcely receive 
It’s the heart that deceives
My Soul resides upon a mountain of misery

It shouts, its scream, yet high up above, as it seems
Away, away from mankind to care
At times like these I am at despair
Hoping, seeking and wishing to share
I speak my heart, my thoughts, and my mind….
Yet scarcely, do I dare to show this degree of misery
My essence is as thin as air…. 
If I hit mankind in the face
No mark, no remembrance, no trace shall I leave
No sweet- sour memories to reminisce upon
Its as if my very presences is provocative to mankind
They ask me kindly, oh please! Oh please! do leave, Save us time and disappear!
No one to care, no one to adhere to

I loved and laughed and lived and hoped and trusted in mankind
Yet from this day on shattered and stiff and deceived and depleted, is what, I now am 
I bare a load wrapped tight around my heart
That never seems to crack or break, 
No fitting key, no rock to break….
For my humble abode lies within my mountain of misery
Where I reside high up above from mankind
From; Hurt or pain or deception or greed
From this day on, to no one shall I heed
I fight my battles on my own
I sail upon a one-man boat


Details | Blank verse | |

Alone With No Sense Of Direction

I am a lost person, but I am not alone.
I make choices in my life and I choose to let go.
I need a change of space, and my lyrical notes,
The beauty and the face should fade, but more I want to grow.
The nobility in life is sad, when madness is a nuisance and insanity a fad.
I have some regrets, some I can't forget,
but If I can't forgive myself, then who will forgive my sins?
I'll give it my all, and pray I win.
I'll keep my heart locked and throw away the key,
never let anyone inside, so I can remain free.
Can I question a higher power, or would I be dead,
The scum of the earth, creating poetry that is read,
by the mindless masses, blaming the heart to death,
I hope this will heal me, burning the past, 
The beauty in the innocence, never really lasts.
I have a feeling tonight will open my eyes, 
and guide me too the light instead of lies.
I'm praying to god that you are how I think you are,
because I need compassion, not just a broken heart.
I don't know why I like you, but you seem to close to part.
Please don't leave me here, surrounded in the dark.


Details | Ballad | |

A Question of Honor

Dedicated to Noor Al-Maleki You Try, You Try so hard To put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is it Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views You Have set me Free, Can't You See I Won't have to face a Tyrant anymore Your gaze used to Stun But Now It Just Burns Under the Sun Never Enough to Be Myself Never Enough to Be Free I will not Bow to You I will not Kneel Before You Smothering Liberty Condoning Freedom This way is unjust This way only brings out our worse Hatred and Mistrust War and malice no know law You Try, You Try so hard to put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views I am The Flame you Greatly Hate I am The Flame you greatly fear Some cannot handle the truth It shows they are the Criminals You are one of them You're the problem This misdeed will not live on without the hate of your name Honor Is not real It's just an emotion that only you feel You're another bulwark Against the truth No one Will Bow No one Will Kneel You Try, You Try so hard to put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is it Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views You Fear The Truth You Fear the reality you are the criminal against all humanity We must end these lies Before Honor Will Strike again You Try, You Try so hard to put Your will Over Me But I will Remain Free I am So Dirty and So Very Unclean So Please Condemn me Sentence Me The Crescent Is A Lie The One I shall Try To Defy Is it Just To Dispose What Has Dishonored You and Your Radical Views


Details | Rhyme | |

Never Again

Depression seeps through my soul How can I write when my heart’s such a droll? Can a set of fancy words truly make him appear? Alas, it is never meeting him again I fear Would he not gaze at my verse in surprise? Would he not see it pour through my eyes? In tears I ponder upon his reaction Every line a bittersweet satisfaction I care not for evenness; I care not for whim, I care not for dead words, only for him Often when such words escape my mind, I try to see him in them, but he’s too hard to find In truth, I see less of my heartfelt rhymes As the clock striking seven heavenly chimes Pictures race in my frivolous head I see his green eyes; I hear the things he has said ‘Never Again’ are the words I now cry And my heart knows those words never die


Details | Rhyme | |

LET ME NOT TO DEATH, BLEED

The window panes are brightly lit, The rays enter my room with grit. Their target, my eyes shut tight, I turn over; my response to the light. The room turns into an oyster; a gem, Sleep now hanging just by the hem. My sleep, it is gone, all too sudden, Welcoming the day, I start to redden. Finally I’m off the bed; on the floor, My arms too weak, too sore. I stretch my body, I strengthen up I look at my hair, Uhh! a messy lump… My French window… God, I’m in love! It’s my morning beauty… my dove. The coffee still hot, wisps in the air Reaching with grace I take it with care. Sipping the delight into my balcony, I see my street, somehow too melancholy. Birds chirping on the trees, the breeze Kissing my hair, I take it all in with ease. Leaning on the railing I cry, I plead Today, Lord, let me not to death, bleed I need to count my days, my moments, I tried but sorry, the doctor laments. The big C has got hold of the volcano… It will no longer gush, it’s too late, oh no. I can see the day, feel the morning Without a trace of regret, not weeping. I have but mornings such as these To wish my time would forever freeze.


Details | Rhyme | |

Caught In The Storm

Her Daddy was thunder her Mama was rain
And she was just caught in the storm
Rising so fast she'd take cover in vain
After the storm clouds would form

Under her bed the skies were so blue
But the thunder grew louder each day
She didn't come out 'til the rain had blown through
But the rainbows were not meant to stay

She couldn't find comfort in her hour of need
Sometimes it lasted all night
No matter how hard she'd beg and she'd plead
Her Mama and Daddy would fight

Then one day the thunder moved far away
But the rain would always remain
The day that it left she begged it to stay
It was something she couldn't explain

Her Daddy was thunder her Mama was rain
And she was just caught in the storm
Rising so fast she'd take cover in vain
After the storm clouds would form


Details | I do not know? | |

Oh Daddy

"OH, DADDY"



Oh, Daddy, What have you done?
You left me alone to find my way,
You never said anything, you just left one day.
Oh, Daddy, What have you done?
I am so lost. I need your help. Why did you leave?,
You were my protector, the one I should cleave.
Oh, Daddy, What have you done?
You left us in tears,
longing for death and hell's fire, despite all our fears.
Oh, Daddy, What have you done?
Was this your plan?
To leave us alone? Tell me, 
I want to understand


Details | Tail-rhyme | |

TERROR ON NIGHT TRAIN

Night train skids off tracks;
it crashes into shacks...  
no easy escape.

It's nightmare or dream? 
All passengers scream...
train plunges into lake.


Details | Rhyme | |

Left in pieces

The broken pieces,
through which i see,
have the power,
to render me,
helpless to all,
invisible to you,
here i stay,
shattered anew,
this makes no sense,
what broken thing does?
treading carefully,
i'm shattered because,
i crossed a line,
made a mistake,
pain envelopes the pieces,
with each breath i take.


Details | Rhyme | |

Time Heals Nothing

Hole in my chest,
slow sweet burn,
have I become a masochist,
even with the lesson I've learned?
the scares I bare,
remind me now,
of times I've loved,
now that I've forgotten how,
time heals nothing,
but makes us numb,
to the pain,
to which our hearts will succumb,
yearning for,
a time now gone,
you moved on,
lines are drawn,
yet you still smile at me,
that adorable smirk,
you bring forth,
those feelings that lurk,
those feelings I hate,
for there will never be,
a happy ending,
for you and me..



What do you do when something you feel never really goes away, yet there's no point in those feelings because they'll never go anywhere??


Details | Rhyme | |

A Winter Stroll Beckoning Wordsworth

A walk through the fields, the marshes nigh  
Water risen steep along the banks  
Swinging low a grey tailed hawk flies  
To the girl's shrouded figure, stooping, it aims 
She feels the swoosh of its wings, her ash curls caught  
Entangled in a hundred claws  
    
Oh Oh she cries with a fearful yell  
The wind races the clouds' billowy bursts   
As she struggles to try and free herself   
She bends to the ground, though only for the worst   
Blood splatters the grass and soaks the soil   
Life gushes out, like lava at its boil   
    
Winter buries deep, the snowfalls and the setting suns   
Virgin white covers the silent and the frozen 
And in the Spring, when new life has begun   
Within the hug of her bones, a wing is broken 


Details | Lyric | |

Black Widow

1 through the door
2 through your heart
3 through your head
4 colors in my eyes
Red, red, red

1 clash
2 rings
3 words
4 sirens
Shrieks of red, red, red

1 bed of white
2 saviors
3 men at my side
4 grievers
Tears of red, red, red

1 room of rock
2 rings around my wrist
3 eyes in my head
4 days before forever
Stains of red, red, red

1 room
2 sides
3 on one
4 on the other
Crying out red, red, red

1 decision
2 stabs of pain in my side
3 cries
4 smiles
The judge says red, red, red

1 boy
2 people
3 arguments
4 solutions
Mine was red, red, red


Details | Free verse | |

if emotion had color

if what we do
if what we did
if our emotions 
had colors
that we could see
what color would we be
dark red with passion
bright red with love
black with anger
or a mixture of colors.
what color is your heart
is it perfect
for your body
or is it imperfect
for your soul.
if emotion
was colored
who would 
you be?


Details | Rhyme | |

WYME 1

my destiny I have to resume
my purpose or so I presume
all doubt I have to exhume
responsibility I have to assume
its really never too late
or maybe it’s just fate
only God gives a clean slate
even when we have lots on our plate
people so particular about dates
all this time they use to hate
showing no pity even to sister kate
with perdition as their right-hand mate
I dream of a season
When I’ll finally see reason
The cause and need for all this treason
In a world where all trust is dead
Judgement day lies in wait like a bed
Unto lies we are lead
Into the abyss of uncertainty we’re spread
Sometimes I think I need a breather
I just can’t take it
Hook, line and sinker
There is so much at  stake
See how they tinker
Or dignity they finger
Our death-beds they make
Their lies flow forth like a lake
While in suffering we sleep and wake
It’s time we opened our mouth to talk
And oh, they’re gonna hear it all in bulk
My words are gonna hit them like the hulk
I’m so tired of sitting to sulk
In any event that I lose my life
At last I’ll escape for all this strife.


Details | Rhyme | |

DEAD END MAZE

A moment of reflection,
as I wonder through this haze;
The times in life where I didn't take that leap;
More than one occasion,
all a different theme.

False insecurities,
dependent upon deciet;
A headstone more chissled,
than are moments without defeat.

Uncertain, if to the left,
no conceren for which way is right;
My eyes, with a grayish glaze,
as cold surrounds my smile...

Continueous, I twist;
Occasionally, I turn;
Alone, in my Dead end maze,
never, will I learn...


Details | Free verse | |

A Moment in death

Crimson life fills my hands
Glacial eyes staring at me
Fear grips my desperate heart
Pleading for a stranger's life
Bleeding out her very soul
A single teardrop from her eye
The sign that angels took her Home

Nalanti Goosen©2012 
All rights reserved


Details | Free verse | |

Sugar Sick Sweet Lullabies

I had this dream last night and it was perfect 
It was everything I wanted my life to seem
So when I opened my eyes to this bright sunlight
I realized some things weren't the way that they should be

I put my feet into my shoes, which are old and dusty and 
I don't remember when they were ever clean
I ran around my town asking people for my purpose
And none of their answers seemed to fit alright

Come keep me at bay
Cause the world's spitting us all out one by one
And we've all sinned enough to know that we're gonna die someday

I've tried to be myself but I'm running low on health
To fight all those who tell me to be a certain way
Though I don't cry out my eyes every time that a stitch undoes itself
Cause nobody's gonna save you when can save yourself, darling

Even at a quarter after noon mothers are singing their babies 
Sugar sick sweet lullabies that I know all too well
Haven't you ever noticed the way that their voices crack 
When the child forgets the words and the tune stays with them alone?

Come keep me at bay
Cause the world's spitting us all out one by one
And we've all sinned enough to know that we're gonna die someday


Details | Rhyme | |

June 19, Headache of My Life

Flirt shamelessly,
Hold my hand,
Say you miss me,
I don't understand,

What do you want,
It makes no sense,
Are we present,
Are we past tense?

You say you 'love' him,
Yet 'that doesn't stop' you,
Then you run back to him,
So are we done? Are we through?

You aren't happy,
You know it in your heart,
So for the sake of his happiness,
Will you tear yourself apart?

If this were your last moment,
If this was it,
would you still be with him,
would you call it quits?

I need an answer,
Tell me the truth,
before I break,
You should know my heart isn't bullet proof...


Details | Rhyme | |

THE UNWANTED RISE OF TEARS

My own downfall,
being with no malice of intent.
the gravity of being born with no force,
my soul even wanders beyond my spirit.
shame of uncleanliness;
guilt of unworthiness,
troubles of accepting,
missing pieces that can't be held together.
troubles with sanity,
sometimes roughing it out to tip of the edge of reasoning.
no rest for the weary,
thanks!, things couldn't get any tougher than this.
mentality co-existing with no hope of success,
unwanted failures and regrets slowing me down until it all ends.


Details | Rhyme | |

Alone

watch me crumble and fall apart, all on my own
Cause there's never really anyone around; I've always been alone
Until I die I will be at your side
But will you ever be at my side?

Down into the pit I descend, on my own
In the depths of darkness where I've been all along-alone
I've always been alone

I know when you're not feeling right,
I can sense when you've lost your light
But yet I find, when I fall from grace
I find myself, alone in a dark place

I wish you would help me my friend,
Like you said you would but I'm always alone in the end
Standing by you until I fall
And when I do, just watch me crawl

On my own,
Always...
Alone.


Details | I do not know? | |

Tantrum

The sound of fear bellowing from my soul, as I shake excessively
The words are no longer words in the duel, I fear the reality
I continue to scream, no longer in control
My movements are quick, as I do not have rule
This nightmare is a reality

During the day the nightmare calms, until I arrive home
I do not wish to hurt the ones I love, so I try to roam
I roam around, until they arrive, trying to help to keep me calm
Another night, another match only to continue
This nightmare is still a reality

My tantrums contain pain, held in from others
I wish the day with no more pain,I have never wished to hurt another
I continue to try day by day, to  help keep this nightmare away
The nightmares are a fading reality


Details | Rhyme | |

Wasted Fantasy

I wondered how is it that something as simple as your smile could capture my heart,
I often sat and debated to myself how did this all come into play from the very start.
You showed me love can be found in the strangest places and obviously the strangest times,
The connection...the bliss...how fast it developed should have been a crime.

When we first meet you were everything I wished for in a true woman,
It was like getting a wish granted from a genie I imaginably summoned.
But it's all changed now, hasn't it? Since the love that was created wasn't exactly easy,
One thing I have learned in my life is that nothing...NOTHING comes easy.

Listen, I followed the voice in my heart that you brought back to life so I could love again,
I was so sure that so called relationship could pass for a perfect ten.
You saw me for who I am and pushed aside the pimp in me to meet the lover within me,
Even then I was very sure that so called relationship was going to be it for me.

Listen, I did follow the voice you THOUGHT you brought back that had risen from the dead,
Thanks to that voice I'm done listening to the lies you stirred in my head.
The fact you couldn't admit to me your wrongs was just absolutely unappealing,
I'm more than how you're treating me so remember you don't know me and you have no idea
what I'm feeling.

You can stop being nice or whatever charity game you call yourself playing with me,
I only blame myself for not wanting that horrifying truth to be seen.
That when it was over it was truly over...for you anyway,
I held on to what never was and my trust for people was the price I paid.

Someone once said that anything done with fear has no moral value,
Because of your fear I felt as if I was nothing and this feeling for me is something brand
new.
So now I conclude this situation and will move on from everything I have mentioned,
It's time I allow someone else to step in who actually deserves my attention.


Details | Free verse | |

The Girl Behind the Mound

The dead march ahead,
But she hides behind a mound
A wooden barrier is all that protects her from being found.

Their soulless eyes burn bright,
As they walk ahead on
Trudging through the darkness as it swallows the dawn.

Their eyes are hungry, as they smell her soul’s essence.Her breath accelerates when they discover her presence.

Darkness swallows her as she whispers her final prayer;when morning comes she will no longer be there.

The dawn spreads its wings,
But dark clouds billow down,
Crying their grieving tears
For the stolen soul that will never again be found.

Days pass ahead
She’s buried in the ground
And they cry silent tears
For the girl behind the mound.


Details | Lyric | |

Fear of Free falling

Pounding against the shore
My heart beats 
Filling up my face, my hands, my cheeks with heat
Tears begin to role.
Tumbling down, like fireballs. 
Passionate …igniting, reviving as it goes
Why oh why! Am I at despair?
Vulnerable! Exposed! My heart stripped bare
An open book for you to read
Yet shaken up with despair I feel
The thunder of doubt begins to creep
Never have I embarked on this before
Yet unknowingly, deep down I yearn! I crave for more
A sea of contemplation, an abyss of hazy expectations
Pounding against the shore my heart beats
Filling my face, my cheeks, my hands…
As you go, with heat
Rising me to utmost crest 
Elevating higher then Mount Everest
Loving you more all the way
But yet! I dare not undrape my sentiments
For you, like others might not cradle them
For fear of freefalling
Yet….i hear your heart shrieking out my name 
Half shocked, half heart, I am to blame.


Details | Senryu | |

Pulled the Trigger

Bullet wounds
The criminal shoots down his
First targets

How dare you
Shoot them uncontrollably
CHAOS grows .  .  .

Don’t shoot it!
The victims are running mad
And you pulled

The trigger
I’m terrified of your strength
DROP IT, man ! ! !


Details | Rhyme | |

Just Like Daddy Used To ,,,For abused children and formerly abused people everywhere

Don’t you remember when you were young,
I’d assume you recall tons of fun.
Snowmen, running, and baking in the sun?
Well, don’t you wish that were for everyone.
Now time’s come, and memories are gone,
And we all have a rather bitter song,
Playing in the back of our heads out of tune,
At least we do, at least we do.
Now I don’t know what a mommy is,
And daddy, he is in an abyss,
Probably much sweeter than mine,
At least he actually has some light.
Now here I am laying next to you,
And you stroke me with love and then with abuse,
I remember the feelings from before,
You ever came to knock on my door.
Back when daddy said he would kill me,
When mommy said she wished I would die,
And daddy pushed me down and walked away,
Can mommy love me even if it is a lie?
Cause mommy left and daddy left, and now you’re leaving too,
You’ll bruise me, beat me, hurt me, kick me, but you’ll be back, and I can count on you.



I wrote this poem with a special friend in mind who has recently undergone traumatic things from an abusive childhood and many abusive relationships. Also, for all of my friends who were abused as children, and for any child suffering from abuse now or ever. May you hold strong through it. It can all be over if you let it. I did, and I love you


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Nobody Can

There is nobody in this world knows how I am feeling right now,
Trying to  get it to all  make some kind of sense from it  some how.
   Filled with deceptions and lies leaving me nothing for me to find,
One memory there is that is truly real cause there's none in my mine.
   This sickening feeling overwhelms me making me cold to my soul,
I am surrounded by gloom and sadness the worst I've ever known.
   How is it I am to suffer like this for loving with all my heart ,
Always protecting you and always been the light in your dark.
   Why me with the love so true and a honest soul  feel such pain,
I should feel the Sunshine in my life not tears that fall like rain.
   Was it the  blindness caused by her natural beautey and tender words,
Or is it that I have lied to myself for so long it was almost absured.
   Difficult for me to face this grief that I had always anticipated,
The moment you came back into my life these days been pre dated.
    It was Love itself I have wanted to bask in to know the Joy,
This despair , lonliness ,and all the nightmares  I needed to avoid.
    A wreck just waitng to happen and the wounds opened up again,
Never  thinking of when all began only wanting it all to just end.
   Days that will be lost and the memories you will never have,
It's the worst kind of emptiness and confusion I've ever had.
   These times we share when we are alone and nobody around,
The thoughts we have of fantasies are somewhat profound.
   Is there a lesson here to be learned and remembered ,
Or is it I am that lost soul  that lonely Pretender.
   This can't possibly be the very last and the end for me,
If so then it has always  been what was meant to be.
   When and how it all went wrong and strayed off course,
Something I will never know  or do I want to anymore.
   There is nobody  that knows what I am feeling today,
I tried making sense of it and found that there is no way.
   A fence that will never be mended or memories replaced,
Just a lonely life  and a broken heart is what I must face .
   Get on with my life  pray  for better days  I must do,
How  can I do that if it has to be without having you.
Tac


Details | Rhyme | |

THE EFFECT OF DRUGS AND VIOLENCE

People smoke weed, or crack to ignore problems and laugh hysterically,
coffee is my drug, it's my quick pick-me-up...I say it so proudly,
because it won't harm me, hallucinate me or make me feel afraid;
I will be alive tomorrow, not crash into into a lamppost as Freddy did.



I lived through the Hippie Era: bell-bottoms...long, frizzy hair
and funny clothes the kind that clowns wear,
no offense to those who thought they were cool;
it's my opinion, not of that guy who didn't see himself as a fool!  



I had no time to protest, or vindicate the Vietnam War as Omar;
off I went to work each morning as hippies hung out by a bar
shouting at me, " Kid, stay alive...don't ever go to war! "
They ran and screamed, knocking down police barricades...horror!


Details | I do not know? | |

Sigh

Fabricated lies boundless,
Without a cause.
Words of promises
Left forgotten.
Abandoned soul
Heart less and alone.
Tears of sadness recognized
But not accompanied.
04/09/09


Details | Rhyme | |

The Day I Almost Died

Life carried on brushing up pain Each day I could hardly remain Darkness seemed to be my only course As I falter and enter ultimate remorse I could not see what's going on before me As life seemed dim I could hardly see There only seemed to be one way out Only one that I have known about Sleeping pills were taken extremely All at once, I was feeling sleepy In a last minute impulse I called emergency They swiftly came as I was quickly Fading fast from this course of reality I was nodding off to sleep completely They kept me barely awake to the hospital Where I was contorted to spill all I was gagged forcefully as darkness came Awakened again to find more pills taken My throat agonized with pain within From the horrible gagging motion Pill after pill flowed out of my mouth As I neared closer to oblivion, further south Finally I was allowed to sleep My dreams now were mine to keep When I awoke people surrounded me Looking very worried, disappointed really I had survived the attempt on my life A fear I will always remember, the strife Now the world is back into my life again The pain is seemingly always pounding within Worry is written all over my family Fear escapes my mother’s eyes completely They do many tests to see if I’m stable Then the diagnosis is depression, certifiable Therapists become a part of my new life All present and accounted for, no new strife Things weren’t anywhere near like they were When everything was dark, fearful for sure I hated life, it was lifeless, demure Then it seemed I had the perfect cure But life chose me, and I survived Now things work simply and I thrived I had the presence to make the best Of what life brings, to take in the rest I hold dear now all things that this life brings A warm feeling comes when fear is fleeting A perfect happiness comes from simplicity Bringing complexity down to earth sincerely Love came swiftly with joy in the heart Never felt more pure, never to be torn apart Now that I had survived the brush of death I now take pleasure in each and every breath This is what happens sometimes when death knocks And life gets switched around, time tick-tocks Now since the terror has come and gone Joy and pleasure have arrived as one The future now looks a lot greater Now that death will be a lot later
Russell Sivey Entrant into Richard Tarr's "suicide survivor" contest 11/12/2012


Details | Rhyme | |

The Hill

An empty castle,
a broken spell,
look to the hill,
upon it a well,
deep in its depths,
a princess you'll find,
against the stones,
her bones will grind,
at the end of the hill,
a prince lay buried,
to the ground,
his blood is married,
a witchs spell,
cast to kill,
it ran its corse,
upon that hill,
one dark day,
the princess drowned,
killing the prince,
with the sight he found,
in the well,
he saw her lifeless eyes,
trip and tumble, 
that's how he dies,
that's the end,
their love now gone,
killed on a hill,
by a witchs con...


Details | Free verse | |

Our Last Embrace -Off To Heavens Gate

                                                             *¸.•'´¯)


You, my beloved wanting to deny the inevitable
Your body wearing down- thin, haggard and pale
Your face looking weary- lined with battle scars of living life
Each of us waiting to exhale
Tired of running in place
I knew in my soul you were losing the game, forfeiting the fight
You, weary of hustling the race
That dreaded  ‘C’  word lying on lips
afraid to be spoken- dreading to be heard 
Hiding fears with well worn smiles
Feeling scared...feeling unprepared
Struggling to walk those last few miles
Forced into losing you by something unseen…
Both of us riding the storm on wild stallions
to battle something so obscene
A ticking time bomb took up residence in your gut
An eviction notice was sent...
to this uninvited occupant

Then you were gone...
Me standing there looking down at your face
as you lie in your peaceful resting place
lined with satin, laced with tears
I have loved you for so many years
Missing your warm embrace 
Missing seeing your face
Anger, fear, tears - all packed inside
my love for you will always abide
There you go my love…
Blissfully off to Heaven’s gate...
where I'll meet you - waiting lovingly there for me

                                                                 *¸.•'´¯)


by anne p murray


Details | Crown of Sonnets | |

Darkness

Darkness lies in my heart.
For the thought of loosing everything fills me with sorrow.
And now that it's gone, what is there for me?
The beautiful memory of what used ro be is not enough to save me.
Alone I wait for someone to pull me from this hell.
But now, I will die. 
Alone in the world.
Only to lie alone in the sky.


Details | Ballad | |

Josette, Drive the Faerie out of me

She's Lost--I'm the one left to blame Forsaken by my potent manipulating game I've killed the one, My starcrossed heart Desires ...But not By My hands I Try To Follow her ghost But the fog and mist are too strong My eyes are rendered useless "You're Never going to Find Josette" The netherworld Spirits sang I Won't lose Heart I Will Win this Fight For My Sacred Josette's Right to Life This is what happens when The Devil's Adovocate Falls for Jesus's Greatest Bride This is what happens When The life of the disease Loves the cure it desperately hates Drives you mad But Wasn't I already? Josette, I'm begging you To Drive the Faerie out of Me


Details | I do not know? | |

The Pain Game

Slicing words into your arm
The sight of blood causes alarm

You continue to bleed
Though it burns you proceed

Tonight will be your dying day
Now is the final act of your play

The words you carve are those of pain
For others to see when you are slain

When your arms are good and red
The time has come to join the dead

You climb atop of a tall tree
The journeys a small victory
 
Around your neck you tie the rope
You jump slowly losing hope

And as you hang you start to see
All your former miseries

And though you gasp for one last breath
All you receive is your death.


Details | I do not know? | |

Demolished

I’ve never hit rock bottom so hard.
I got up but it feels like I’m still sitting down.
I’ve never felt pain so bad
To the point where I just can’t function.
The memories I can’t seem to erase
They replay in my head constantly until I’m in tears.
I’ve never had my heart broken so bad
That just picking up the pieces crumbles in my hands.
I’ve never felt so alone.
That even while you hold me
I can’t feel your arms.
I’ve never been so depressed in my life
That even a psychiatrist don’t know my diagnosis.
There is only one way to go but up.
But my ladder keeps sliding down.
I run, jump, skip, hop.
Defeat lays on my breastplate.  


12/23/12


Details | Free verse | |

My Shadow



Blackness, a dark version of me, badness, negativity.

No matter how fast i run or were i run too your right behind me.

Even the brightest sun doesn’t destroy you, you only exist because of me.

All i know is when i face the darkness you disappear, but to only return when the sun rises.



Details | Rhyme | |

Much yet to be written- PART I

Not a day will go by, that I don't think about her. But when I think of her lies, I just want to hurt her.

When a man has given all, he can't push any further. And it's a very short process, that drives him to murder.

So choose wisely your steps, and your pathways through life. Stay aware of your options, and always think twice.

For when a mans life resorts, to the edge of a knife. It's a tell tale sign, he's grown cold as ice.

Now it's a sick twisted world, we find ourselves in. Driven by hate, and swallowed in sin.

The mentally strong, may call those like me weak. But you tell me now, who's humble and meek. 

For if you've never hurt, the way that I do. Then you're no expert, on how to get through.

So you place your faith, on inanimate things. While I place my hate, on cold reality.

But who's to say who, truly knows anything. And who draws the line, on what's giving everything.

For one hundred percent, is one hundred percent. And my hundred percent, is what I resent.

If I hadn't given all, I'd still be on my feet. But here I am hollow, left in defeat.

So push me as far, as you think I can go. Then open your eyes, and enjoy the show...

   CONTINUE ON PART II


Details | I do not know? | |

I am a dangerous creature

While she's moving on, on the train of opportunities,
I'm left behind.
I can't move on.
I watch the world pass by me in a blurry tick-tock, tick-tock.
I'm too invisible to be seen, and nobody stops for me.
They move by with a glare at me in their eyes that could freeze hell.
The snowflakes that fall roam around me.
I am a deep dark fire pit.
The crackling wood defines the sparks that I feel when I'm near  him.
I am a dangerous creature.
Tell me lies and I'll feed on them.
"Stay away from this lost girl," They say.
And they're staring at me.


Details | Ballad | |

Block

Once again I am stuck in that place
The one where my heart is filled with hurt and hate
I know your Lieing by the look on your face
Only thing to do is have falth

You use me and abuse me year after year
Now i find her number in front of me
I cry but don't let you see the tears
It would not matter you only see what you want to see

You say it was nothing just talking thats all
She dose not mean anything to you anyway
Is that why you only text and not ever call
I do not trust what you say becase you threw my trust away

You say it was all her fault she started it
For nine long months you lied about everything
I do not belive you not one bit
I do not want the pain you bring

So have you fun play your games
I am done with it all
I do not want to hear her name
Just remember the day will come you want my call


Details | ABC | |

if you only knew

when you lose sight of what really counts
its easy to focus on only whats shallow
am i too fat is my nose too big
do i walk or talk weird whats wrong with me
when we forget the depth that is here in this world
and focus on things that are just absurd
so maybe im not a supermodel and my bums a tad on the thick side
and maybe im no a genius thats getting a scholorship on my side
but does that mean im nothing that i dont count
this world is getting sickening count me OUT
im ashamed of myself for even thinking like this
and obsessing to tears over shallow petty shit
i am praying that god hears my pleas for help
because i cant conquer this all by myself
i used to not care didnt care at all
but like any other i rise and fall
i am of the opinion that your body is a shell
and youll leave it behind when you go to heaven or hell
it will rot in the ground and count for nothing
and when i meet my maker he wont care how big my bum is
some women ONLY care about their looks and they dont get it
they dont see the big picture 
and i fear theyll regret it 
and other women dont care even at all 
about their looks because their depth is so massive and raw
but then theres me in the middle with so much depth and spirituality
why do i waste time wondering what are all the things wrong with me
im sick of crying over it ive done it for too long
im sick of getting angry when i cant crawl out of my bod
its a thought that i had reguarding a cacoon
like how catapielers go into them and out comes a butterfly zoom
if i could just crawl out my mouth my soul free for just a moment
and be allowed to have a different shell to live and own it
i wonder what its like to feel just for a second
not arrogance but a sweet compliment from someone who MEANT IT
my desperate pleas go out to you and anyone else who will listen
i hate my body im sick of my face and my voice is just ridiculous
so lets just drop it in the ocean let it sail away
cuz me im going to better places where i dont have to cry all day
where i know that my body is just a little shell a vehicle if you will
its our car or truck or limo or bus to use while we use our free will
and ive always said when you go you don't take your money your lambergini
or your watch expensive jewlery its all staying beind
and you should think about what YOUR world is while im trying desperatley to fix mine


Details | I do not know? | |

hate

i hate him 
hes the worst 
i love is just a mask 
you hid behind.

don't count me as a fool
i can see your snarl 
right threw.

i hate your nasty, sneaky ways.
you did have me at hello.
but now i caught your bluff

be gone you betrayer 
you lustful jerk

iv caught you right handed 
that's it your busted..

say bye now you'll never see me again
you'll never be able to hurt me
to tare me inside out

be gone you betrayer
be gone you lustful jerk.


Details | Free verse | |

A Look in the mirror

It’s scary how my reflection stares me dead in my eyes
Truth takes first place as my face dismisses all lies
No use to lie to the mirror as it has never did that to me
As I move he moves but only my side whispers am I crazy

Every blink reveals flaw once hidden by my ego
Every muscle within my jaw seems to want me to know
That I am what I am nothing more and nothing less
A reflection of my past an attitude of no stress

Screams inside my head collect themselves in my image
Distorting my display I bow my head to my own image 
Perfection is a word placed on a throne of stars 
Again I look into my own eyes … I now see my emotional scars

I ask what is wrong with you and my echo repeats itself 
So the question is asked and asked as I answer it myself
Nothing I just miss what we could have been and what I could look at 
But as that has been said the mirror silently looks back

No we both stand still in a place dipped in silence 
Silently silencing my hearts raging violence 
Cause with all the time I spent looking at you 
It became painfully clear to what I must do 

Accept that it is what it is and it will be what it will be 
Or to put it in my own words I will just be me
So now all the dots connect and seem to be linking 
Will I change myself or is this just wishful thinking


Details | Verse | |

mental confinement

this house is a prison 
these windows are taunting 
this weight on my shoulders is daunting 
my voice inside my head is haunting 
memories leave tears on my face
tears start to burn and leave blood in their trace
im isolated in deep space
solitary confinement 
deep sorrowful assignment 
the stars are in allignment 
my world is coming to an end thats what the peace sign ment
heaven sent, me hell, world upside down call it hell bent
half my heart is left, the other paid rent
i have half a heart but im completly broken, take a hint
one way street no reason to resent 
choises made, makes my brain fade 
heading to your heart, call it a crusade 
my love is broken, hell made
took every single wrong road, ... well played
epic fail, blood red is the best shade
through the light and through the dark
blood red will always make its mark 
love the pain and hate the pleasure 
nonconformality at its greatest measure 
love is lost and found like great treasure 
trust turns to tradgedty 
lies are truely ravishing 
my heart is cold and wandering, the walking dead emotionless traveling 
chilling ice adorning my flesh is lavishing 
in a strange twist of fate my mind bears my captivity 
trapped inside my thoughts from which i cannot escape, stranger thoughts than activity
forever fading my sanity
at the sacrafice of my vanity 
my last resort, to escape has been taken from me
this prison is maximum security 
love is lost, friends betrayed 
family estranged 
adrinaline caged
adhd enraged 
locked up tight 
strait jacket restricted helplessly bound try as i might
blind folds corrode my sight 
exiled and exausted drawn out distressed vigil put to the test 
sick to my stomach and too tired to rest
i sit in my cell, of isolation 
my mind is cramped of desolation
these words are a demonstration 
as a last resort, to far gone to ever undergo restoration 
i lay solemnly suffering from loss of articulation.


Details | Rhyme | |

Abide in the Light

You abide in the light
I’ll miss you…when you venture off at night 
Don’t forget me…
Don’t discard me…
Don’t leave me…   

Forgive me for drifting away from you… 

Please forgive me…
Please don’t ignore me…
Hear my pleas…don’t turn the other direction…
Run with me…into heaven’s light

I’ve given you my soul…
I’ve shared with you my melody
I’ve fed you until you were full…
I’ve healed you when you were under the weather…
I’ve tried to bring us back together

You hang on the rope of hope
I’ll rely on you…I’ll cling to you… 
You saved me from subsiding into the obscure abyss

Don’t reject me…
Don’t depart from me…
Don’t release me…

Respect me for who I’ve become
Please respect me…
Honor my presence 
Protect me from any sort of harm  
Is it in your nature to relieve my anguish? 

I’ve been driven away by my affliction 
I’ve set you free from Egypt…and lead you to the Promise Land 
Have you forgotten my affection? 
I’ve tried to empathize what you’re going through – I’ve gave you a helping hand
Don’t you understand? Will you ever understand? 

You abide in the light 
I’ll miss you…when you depart from my heart
Don’t forget me…
Don’t discard me…
Don’t mourn for me… 

Forgive me for wishing for your absence…
Please forgive me…
Please don’t give up on me…
Hear my side of the story… don’t turn the other direction…

I’m still training for perfection    

Run with me…until we arrive at home 
Hold my hand and we’ll take divine flight 
I’ve cherished you for so long
I’ve lead you to my home town – 
Do you remember where you and I belong?

I’ve given you my trust…
I’ve shared with you my dreams
You’re an apple to my eye

You were my angel of grace, promising concord –
Bestowing blessings upon me 
Your vitality never wears off…

You were my lamp – 
Glowing with serenity and elation
Tranquilizing my mind from despair and unease

I’ll never regret…meeting you that magnificent night 
I knew that that was love at first sight
The moment you stepped foot into the light 


Details | Lyric | |

Letter From A Friend

Dear Friend
Why you wondering where we stand? 
Me and you are tighter
Then the ying yang we make with our hands
I know we’re far apart
But a call brings us back together
No matter the hour of the day
And no matter the type of weather forever
But I’m glad
You came to me first
Each time I read your letter
It hurts me even worse
Because I see us more than friends
We’re bothers in the Lord
So if you are hurting
Then I am hurting even more
You can always count on me
When your world is going wrong
I will never turn my back on you
Even if my back is against the wall
And I know it’s not easy to tell our moms
When it’s hard for us to stand
What do they know about military life? 
Or the struggle for a military man? 
Don’t be shy
Because there’s something we all do fear
If I had the chance to switch services
You know I’ll be right there
And I am not brave
I wanna be the friend you can lean on
you said I can calm you down
well I also wanna keep you Army strong
death isn’t nothing
but the devil getting to you
keep believing in God
he will give a path to make it through dude
jus so you know
I’m here I’m always around
you’ve been trained good
so take a step back and calm down
and when you come home
we’re going to party like when we was kids
and laugh at all the stupid things
we ever did
keep your head up
because this is where it has to end
yours truly P.S.
you’re my number one friend


Details | Lyric | |

Slow To Heal

Visible defect Variation Soothing effect As my fingertips Run over this formation Through hills and dips Passing pain Now a conversation piece These wash away with the rain These One day will Cease Internal rips And tears Shadowed Stitched with care Only to be shredded Again Slow to heal If only it was let alone And you wouldn't hammer In the sin Full of chagrin Confidence blown I'd rather Show you my scars My skin shattered Then you discover my wounds Ruined Can't keep the seal So slow to heal


Details | Free verse | |

Yet She Smiles

Her dreams crashed on the shore of reality
Her ambitions lay covered in the blanket of misery
Life has stolen a piece from her
And left without saying as much as a word
Time heals wounds but what about dreams
Her scars run deeper than my imagination can explain
She holds a suicidal amount of unreleased pain
But her screams will not be heard
Her giving up has never occurred
Her bravery has slain dragons in ages past
Her courage has pushed forth soldiers fighting for freedom
Her attitude has broken through diabolical spells cast
Its her motivation that allowed the tyranny of oppression to become undone
She stands tall, as life tries to break her down
But with every punch with every pound
She never shows where it hurts
She never complains about her tears
She never breaks the glass of valor
Tales will be spun, for she is what makes it all possible
Everything breaks down in time
But her shattered pieces of dreams are nowhere to be found
She picked them all up and placed them somewhere to never make a sound
For dreams are ambitions that have lost their drive
But she miraculously manages to keep them alive
Shattered, broken, unhinged, damaged to the very core
Unable to walk on clouds no longer able to soar
She is now an angel with clipped wings
A dancer with no ankles, a story with no end
She has been through the darkest of pits
She has wormed through the narrowest of slits
Cut, bruised, beaten … life gave it it’s all
But she is wonderful because through it all
I would have broken down, and yet she smiles
So for that I wanted to say thank you


Details | Rhyme | |

Your Embrace

Dear Lord I await your embrace as the weight on my shoulders is getting harder to take
I see the pain and daily lies that we spread its our mask . . our disguise

The pain and suffering is like mystical chains pulling me down to a darkened place,
I know you are with me so I should feel no fear, but it gets harder each day and year by year. 

I write this now with tears looming in my eyes, my strong front hides the pain deep inside;

Your love keeps me going . .  your secret signs show the way, yet I still pray please make the pain go away.


Details | I do not know? | |

Glory

This is the story of a beautiful horse named Glory Freckled and spotted She stood but a twig Lost in a forest Of abandonment Tires and barbwire Surround her by day And at night she suffers The coyotes cries, not far away Left with no food Or water to drink She stands by a tree And hopes for relief Halter grown in And hooves overgrown Not a grain in that belly And left all alone Withering quick She stands by her tree And hopes a kind soul Will help her to see There is life still No matter how grim Things seem from beneath This horrid, old tree This halfhearted twig Awaits her relief As the days pass her by And she writhes with grief Her name is Glory All freckled with spots Like a giant Dalmatian Trapped in this spot At the end of her lead She was finally freed Not a day too soon She'll now find relief Halfhearted no longer And happy at last Whom once was a twig Knows Glory at last Halfhearted no longer And free from that mess Glory has found relief At Horse Creek Ranch* *Horse Creek Ranch is, to the best of my knowledge, a fictional name.


Details | Free verse | |

Away We Go

In the streets, we walk alone
Down, down, low, away we go.
The stars, they only taunt us.
Up so high, dancing in the sky.

I want to seek their comfort.
I want my body cradled.
Down, down, low, away we go.
Walking like outcast.

It's because i'm different
It's because we're different

"How dare you bring yourself around here.
I don't like your kind"
We're just like pariahs,
Looking for each other.

Down, down, low, away we go
Again, I feel rejected.
Again, I'm a disgrace.

The only thing we wanted,
Was the feeling of home.
Home, that was so long ago.


Details | Free verse | |

Finding Love

Finding love is hard to master 
Can I not make this go any faster
Oh please this is going to be a disaster

Something just knocked at my door
I wonder what is in store
Oh so excited I just cant ignore 

What is this sound I hear 
Is my love near
Oh now I am supplied with fear

I see a figure of smoke 
I feel someones poke
Oh no what if its just a joke

Now seeing a body lying on the ground 
I am alone and no one is around
Oh is it him I found

He looks as if dead
Is this all in my head 
Oh never will this happen again


Details | Free verse | |

Damages and Diseases of the swinging Pendulum mind: Part Four

The pendulum starts gaining speed again I can’t sleep I feel so guilty keeping you around I shouldn’t I should not do this to you If I were truly your friend I would set you free I should I should So why can’t I Why can’t I function without you woosh, woosh The pendulum speeds And speeds I can’t sleep I can’t sleep I am sorry I am sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So Sorry So sorry So sorry So Sorry So Sorry So sorry The Pendulum swings faster Faster and faster I wish it would stop I wish my mind would stop shifting Stop Stop I’m so scared I’m so angry I’m sad I hate it All of it And there goes the pendulum ever faster Ever changing the splintered fragments of my mind Why Why must my mind be so sporadic Always shifting Always changing Like the sands of the ocean floor Always different Always I hate this I do not like this And all that happens Is you get hurt And I’m sorry for that So very, very sorry It’s not fair to you It’s not fair And I don’t know what to do To make it all better To make everything better To make all my tortures go away So that you can be happy I just want you happy I should let you go Set you free … You should keep away from me It would be better For you So much better Less painful Less heartbreaking Less damaging I am damaged beyond repair But that does not mean you need to be You could go Run Be free You should It would be better Much better for you Just let the flames consume me Let the waters choke my cries…my pleads And let the deadly pendulum slice me in pieces Grind me down to nothing Burn me So that my virus cannot be spread So no one else will be hurt So you can live free and happy Because I can’t keep living with myself Knowing what I do to you And again the pendulum swings Again and again And again And again It will never end Never end Until I do Until I finally rest In my watery…bloodied grave


Details | Free verse | |

Panic Attack

My thoughts race one million miles a minute.
Abnormal fears take control of my mind.
My pulse is beating faster than an engine.
Headaches develop like I have been hit with a hammer.
Adrenaline pumps through my veins at the speed of light.
My heart feels like exploding due to chest pain. 
My temperature raises hotter than the sun.   
When my panic attack is gone, I am left with a scar.


Details | Verse | |

Your Mask

Your mask is impossible to crack
A most confusing riddle
I find myself lost again
Stuck smack in the middle
Your mask is hiding you away
Misleading me and so on
I find myself at your mercy again
Feeling I've become undone
Your mask is cruel, unforgiving
Troubling my dreams at night
I find myself so crippled again
Lost this endless fight
Your mask is an illusion
I wish I knew the real you
I find myself at a major loss
When you mislead me like you do
Your mask is something horrid that
I'd love to see the end of
I find myself at a disadvantage
Because with you I am in love


Details | Free verse | |

Where Darkness Clings

Darkness clings were light doesn't linger Breath struggles were air is depleted I'm siting by the window staring at the waves of sorrow, forgiveness and love That crash in to are lives like title waves crash into buildings And down the way fair away children play in tall Fields were corn is made its so sad to know that inasens will never make it past 13 In a world were childhood fantasy's cant only run so deep And its scare to see how evil people can be when they justify it by how life treats them Darkness clings were light cant be Clinging like a leach feasting till the hart beat of the world is deceased And its so sad to think worms can drown in puddles created by cloud games And why is it we get so lonely at night Fare from childhood yet to young to sleep alone Is it fear of the unknown drawing us close Or human nature to want to pull the covers close And why dose sympathy seem to control all that we do When sympathy cant do nothing for no one I hate to think of the day when night is all i see A starlight world that can look so bleak and gray What dose the universe hold for lonely souls traveling down broken rodes I guess well never know Why darkness clings were light cant be


Details | I do not know? | |

Abuse

Trapped. No where to hide.You scream at me through the door.Though your words still 
sting me.
I sit on the ground alone.Blood drips down like tears. tears run down like rain.The room's 
spinning.  My heart bursts out of my clothes.We got into a fight.  Why is unclear.
I tried to leave.  You hit me. I fell.I started to cry.  You kicked me.A sharp pain burst out of 
my chest.  I could not breath. I have little energy,I kicked you.  You fell. I ran to our 
bedroom.
I am trapped.  No where to hide.I'm weak. I stumble to your Night stand.I see a gun.You 
break down the door.  I grab the gun.You start to choke me, squeezing my throat like you 
were trying to get some sort of juice out of me.
I pull the trigger.
BANG!Trapped.  No where to hide.Your grip feels looser.   Your face in pain.
You fall down. i fall into darkness.Free.  No need to hide.


Details | Rhyme | |

THE CREATURE

Way back when, many years ago;
In the midst of the Sixties, spread your legs, let's go!
An injustice was created,
with a Hollow soul to lose...

A decade and a half later,
  no belief of a Creator;
  The tortured child he had become,
  again was alone...

The Creature inside me, this evil within,
     will you experience my Demons,
 or find yourself my friend.

The Creature had matured, mid-explosion, so believed;
   Yet, twenty years still to come,
     of reaping that seed...

    What to do, Where to hide;
               Who to kill;
         At whom to smile...

The Creature or boy yearns to destroy,
     the lives that surround me
          and all of their joy...

This Creature is unmerciful, with the thought's that he sows;
    Will this Creature ever die,
           or live on breathlessly,
     Just as the end of a sigh...

The Creature lurks deep, can this world survive;
   This painful hatred, that makes most mortals cry...

             It lives as it Breathes,
    will it ever retreat;
          The child within,
  still has no belief...


Details | Villanelle | |

Creeps in slowly contest

Guard your heart closely through all your seasons,                     
Open wounds he’ll find to borrow within,
He’ll creep in slowly committing treason.

Does not need to have a special reason,
His kisses slowly stop you from breathing,
Guard your heart closely through all your seasons.

After you wake, you find a strange lesion,
Wallowing in an original sin,
He’ll creep in slowly committing treason.

All along you thought he was just teasing,
Question yourself how did this begin,
Guard your heart closely through all your seasons.

Find yourself uncontrollably freezing,
A plunderer tried to take his cheap win,
He’ll creep in slowly committing treason.

You’re left with an image that’s not pleasing,
Eyes shut, recalling a menacing grin,
He’ll creep in slowly committing treason,
Guard your heart closely through all your seasons.

By: Sabina nicole


Details | Rhyme | |

Dawn of Misfortune

You’re the dawn of despair and gloominess
You’re the sunset that discards my gladness
You deceived me…you made me trek the road of calamity
You grieve for me…you yearn for my sympathy… but I overlook your pity

Horror strikes me, scorching away my destiny
My confidence has slowly departed from me…so what should I do?
Terror swallows me alive, now I’m begging to flee!
My self-reliance has disregarded and fled from thee…now I’m crammed with woe

Digest the emptiness that I feel deep inside
Heed to what I’m about to announce to you…
Digest the affliction that I brushed aside
Hear what I’m about to warn you about…it’s all true

You deserted me…melt the isolation that has filled us with woe
You brainwashed me…you tarnished my bliss
You captivated me…now I have nowhere to go
You terrorized me…you singed up my happiness



You’re the dawn of anguish and shame
You’re the midnight stars that burn with fame
You betrayed me…you made me cut down my garden…shedding fertility
You mourn for me…you long for my forgiveness… so I’m ready to accept your plea
What is the code that will animate your presence?
What is the code that will liquefy the ice of silence?


Details | Narrative | |

''Awake''

I lye here weak,alone,feeling helpless.
If only my muffled thoughts were clear.
Wounds cover,yet pain is not displayed.
The sound of rushing feet.
Through brush and thorns bright lights surrounds me.
In the darkest of nights my end was near.
Determined mind I was found awake~


Details | Verse | |

One More Thing

Drop to my knees and I’m begging
Come back, don’t leave me
Do one more thing and I’ll disappear
I swear it, just wait and see
Just put your hands around my throat
Squeeze it as hard as you can
Don’t let go, don’t stop it
Clench until I am damned
I’ll close my eyes in silence, 
See nothing no more
I’ll gasp one more time
This is what I’m asking for
Please give me this
And I’ll walk away
You’ll never see me again
Not after this day


Details | I do not know? | |

tears in the rain

Rain 
the best thing about the rain is that no one can see my tears 
in the rain you can hide your fears, 
in the rain I can hide from my peers,
the best thing about rain is I have a excuse for not going out,
in the rain no one can see me in doubt,
in the rain i can pout 
the best thing about rain is no one can hear my cries 
in the rain I can hide my lies 
in the rain I cant see your eyes 
the best thing  about rain is people don't call
in the rain no one can see you crawl 
in the rain no one can see you fall 
the best thing about the rain is it reminds me of you 
standing in the rain I wish I knew,
standing in the rain I wish it wasn’t true 


Details | Rhyme | |

a jar for my soul

glass wall,
hides no fear,
twisted lid,
holds me here,
lost inside,
a crystal cage,
collecting dust,
along with age,
broken wings,
so my fears,
in this jar,
i hide my tears.


Details | Lyric | |

Man In The Mirror

That man, who is that?
He looks weird with that face, flat
Why does it feel like mine?
Why doesn't he look fine?
Is that a reflection of me?
Impossible, can't be!
To him, let me try to talk
Maybe even take a walk
This man I need to understand
Where's he from? What land?
I start to ask questions
To him, they sound like rejections
Yet, he never answered
He only felt flattered
After me he did repeat
All the questions, till I admit defeat
He looked at me with an evil smile
Stared at me for a while
I didn't know what action to take
This unpleasant feeling, I had to shake
I know I got to be strong
Must understand, no matter how long
I have to wait
Patience is a good trait
Maybe he'll fade away
And for sure I'm going to stay
All that didn't seem to matter
His image would never shatter
I try to find a place to hide
To him, my secrets I can't confide
Yet, he knows them all
Every detail, no matter how small
It creeps me out
I want to scream and shout
But people would think I'm insane
Even if I make my story plain
No one would believe me
For I'm the only one who can see
That man and his weird eyes
They’re colored with lies
Scanning every detail
Always without fail
I tried to read his emotions
My trials were met with demotions
Please stranger just leave
My misery, why can you not weave?
There he is, standing still
Chaining my free will
An image never getting clearer
That is the man in the mirror


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

THE DEVILS GLARE

she is a spirit
i know it is so
but that feeling i get
when she stares at me so
makes me question  
everything i know

she is cruel
she is unforgiving
but i put up with it
to make my "ANGEL" happy

she says she cares
i know she wouldnt dare
her evil glare
can and will always scare
even the purest of 
MIND BODY and SOUL.


Details | Verse | |

Welcome To Heartbreak

W.T.H
(Welcome To Heartbreak)
	
My world envelops me into a state of darkness and misery. What happened to us, in my heart and mind remains a mystery. I thought our love would go down in history. But I fell into the trickery. Played by the pessimistic person that I was. The person that does what’s wrong and shoves away the feeling I was given: Love. 
	My world was full of color, excitement, and love, that other feeling.  Now, everyone leaving, I remain the only human being in this world that no one else is seeing. In this darkness, I try to find meaning. I try to find my love that I separated from long ago. And throughout the days, the harder I search the faster my heart fades. Your voice raids through my ears every night. And I get my hopes up at the sight of the light at the edge of this darkness. With all my might I fight until I reach that light. You. 
	Face to face, tears swell up in my eyes. Every time, this feels like love never dies. But I always fail to realize that no matter how hard I cry. No matter how hard I try. You always tell me bye. My tears, once again, roll off my cheeks and on they fall to the broken street. For one last time, our eyes meet. 
	I stand my ground and gaze into your beautiful soul. Then I'm swallowed by the cold. My chest goes numb but my eyes stay warm as I watch yours. Once again, my heart opens up like doors and I feel one last jolt of warmth. 
	In a hoarse and empty voice I say, “I love you.”
	I reached to caress your cheeks and all of a sudden I find what I seek. The colors streak back into my world and I feel that one feeling again. Once again, I fall in love with you. Once again I know what to do, but I can't. 
	I reach forward for a kiss, but I realize my body doesn't feel this bliss. Once again, my world envelops me into a state of darkness and misery. The colors fade away, quite literally. And the cold bitterly bites at my heart and sends me back into my world of trickery. Once again. 
	I lose sight of everything I see. But I feel your presence still with me. I step forward and see you once again. I reached my hand up then. Wishing what was coming up next, wouldn't. I knew this would happen for eternity so I braced myself for this next take.
	With the sight of you at stake, I reach forward and feel the space between you and my hand enclose, but I make one last effort to touch your face for my sake. Then you slowly fade away as my eyes once again begin to swell. Soon all that’s left is my eternally immense heartache. And I now introduce you to my world:
Welcome To Heartbreak.


Details | Verse | |

When Anger Takes Over

There will be a time when anger takes over.
And all other emotions fade.
Where madness turns to power,
To which diesies are made.

Where the people who think that they own the world,
Who have hatread swelling around them in curls,
Allow the poor to cry out in hunger,
And the rich to eat till they hurl.

Then the monsters that don't like others,
And think that they all should die,
Lock them up in lice ridden cells, 
While they laugh, and say it gives them a good high.

How life above, up in the sky,
Will even fall to its torcher.
They'll start wars, create plagues,
Until one cannot even trust they're mother.

But for those who were lost somewhere in the middle,
Were given a gental gift.
The man who came upon the day,
And hoped to kill anger will a holy riddle.

The children had come upon the streets,
And sat on the man's soft knee.
They learned of love and caring,
Which filled the streets with glee.

Then one day, while the new year raged on, 
The people came with harsh accusations.
He had told of love
He had defied the nations.

The man had tried to end anger,
But failed.
Anger had won, it finished its deed.
They made fun of him as his life was taken through hatread that was nailed.

Into the earth.
Life.
Everything.
With a horrid, angry force of sheer strife.

No more emotions on the rise.
Only broken hearts,
And starless skies,
And people throw angry darts.

There will come a time when anger will take over.
And all other emotions fade.
Where Hitlers, and Satans run the world.
And the earth's death bed is made.






Details | Free verse | |

Freak Show

Welcome to the freak show of Borderline Personality Disorder
Once, you hear my story 
you'll tear your guts out
then have the urge to swallow them
because that's that I do to myself
mentally and feel physically 
without even inflicting any wounds upon myself.
I leave my thoughts to do that for me.


Details | Rhyme | |

heartless

The ice on my skin burns like the sun,
As the freezing steel makes another run.
Searing pain reminds me of why its done,
Medical precision assures the blood will run.
With this pain another news story is spun,
Followed by the segment of the one who used the gun.


Details | Free verse | |

Darkness Falls

There once was a city
named "Darkness Falls",
where a quart of pain,
a pint of bloodshed,
a gallon of depression,
and a teaspoon of happiness
fell together in harmony.

A town as blank as paper,
waiting for ink to be written upon it,
where joy wasn't as common,
as feared was enforced.

Where only the ashes
of the forgotten,
fertilized,
the ever-so-rotten
grounds of "heaven"

And the eyes of the fragile,
who witness the peril of death,
are only the eyes of the young,
who follow this hell-driven pattern.

This incessant chaos
is known to be
Darkness Falls.


Details | Free verse | |

UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER

So confused----nothing feels right but wrong
All I've dealt with for so long
Has blurred in with every sad thing else there is to see

I don't know what to do....
I'm at a loss for everything 
including you

Long, long ago
I thought you made me for one 
Now others knock at heart's door........
They will go unanswered

Alone in the cold of the dark
With all their own little broken hearts
They wait for what will never be; to hold my hand and be with me
And their burdens too are more than I can bear

One sweet face
Is blood stain painted into my soul 
His addictive voice
Resonates throughout my core 

I hear him crying 
I hear him screaming
I see him falling

With him I'll always be crying
Hoarsely, wretchedly screaming
Reaching out into the dark for him
but feeling nothing

This pain will never fit inside 
The grief has grown too much for me to hide
Mourning for the dreams in me that died
Anguish for a man who's dead to me 
but still alive

One big happy carnival of sorrow
That love will never fix
Nor will tomorrow

Mindless, mutilated hearts
Condemned to crimson drench the earth 
wherever we stagger
Miserably alone....
Unhappily ever after.


Details | Verse | |

Absence

it's like the confusion has set in. it's happened before but has been ignored.
it feels like not a face cares about the well being of such a beast. 
a beast that hides his insides in fear of insult and ridicule.
he has done wrong yet the people still blame him for mishap.
he cannot express his true feeling because no ears will listen.
he cares so dearly for her, but she refuses to come forth.
it's been long that they've conversed, yet it means nothing to her.
he does not care for appearance, in his mind, she is a goddess.
a personality people can only dream for, but never find.
she was the only one he could stand talking to and listen.
if only she felt the same way, things would be perfect.
he does not need anyone else, he does not want anyone else.
he wants her, and he's tried, but she threw it back.
now he is in an endless spiral of abysmal hate and confusion.
wondering what he should do next, he wishes not to hurt anyone.
times like these turn people insane, but he is stronger than that.
but the absence of light is the only thing that is on his mind
the absence of light will end this feeling of agony...
if she wont want him, then nobody will.


Details | Rhyme | |

I'll always protect her from you

You beat up your girlfriend because you are a brute.
I tried to send you to jail but your girl won't prosecute.
I'm a preacher but I won't marry the two of you.
If I did that, it would be a very evil thing to do.

It was a sad day when she agreed to be your wife.
I will not help you to destroy that poor girl's life.
Besides physically abusing her, you verbally abuse her as well.
How dare you expect me to help you make her life a living hell!

It makes me very angry when I see her battered and bruised.
I begged her to stay at my house but sadly, she refused.
Your girl is a fine lady who I've known for many years.
It breaks my heart when you make her burst into tears.

You will go to other preachers but I'll tell them all about you.
And when I do that, they'll refuse to perform the ceremony too.
I'll make your girl see the truth if it's the last thing that I do.
I'm a servant of the Lord and I'll always protect her from you.

(Even though this is a fictional poem, many women need protection from domestic violence.)


Details | Lyric | |

For All My Pain

Your blood is what was Sacrificed And in Blood we Shall Bathe No more pain nor more hate Will be shed for me ...This is only a desperate dream A slight tender touch on the largest of wounds can leave you screaming for an eternity Dreaming of an escape, A friend from a figment of dark a world from the abyss of my mind Set to fix all of your transgressions Every time you left, abandoned, stranded, forget me A human heart has a limit but It's only I who is left to blame Drifting beyond Aphelion Why must the loudest of Cries Go unheard Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to Answer my Masked Prayers For All My Pain Constraining Me Making my Saturnine Mind Climb to the Apex Just to Fall again Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to answer all of my masked prayers For All My Pain Everyone turning against me I can't keep living a lie like this Lost In Life When death is the only hope Nothing is left to stay But the Fear of being afraid Let me lose this Let me enter another world Drifting beyond Aphelion Why must the loudest of Cries Go unheard Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to Answer my Masked Prayers For All My Pain Constraining Me Making my Saturnine Mind Climb to the Apex Just to Fall again Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to answer all of my masked prayers For All My Pain Drifting beyond Aphelion Why must the loudest of Cries Go unheard Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to Answer my Masked Prayers For All My Pain Constraining Me Making my Saturnine Mind Climb to the Apex Just to Fall again Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to answer all of my masked prayers For All My Pain


Details | Lyric | |

Dig Up Stupid

You're degrading yourself You're only digging deeper This grave you've made for yourself You're your own tormentor Why don't you help yourself? Climb out of this hole Stop hurting yourself Fix your sad soul Look at this mess you've made Was it really worth The pain you payed Just for such A vapid Touch One more One more touch Dig up stupid Don't try and right the wrong The damage is done Silence the song You can't run From a list so long The eyes are watching The diverse Became the same Why can't I keep my hands from latching Onto what was never mine? Look at this mess you've made Was it really worth The pain you payed Just for such A vapid Touch One more One more touch Dig up stupid Dig up


Details | Quatrain | |

The Fortress

This fortress is coming down;
It's been a long time in the making.
This bastion can't hold its own;
All these walls are shaking.


Details | Narrative | |

Red Eyes and Sinister Looks

Chains, hay forks, knives, and a hollow whisper,
become more true and sinister.
Halt in the middle of the moon light, 
and a waver image soon is no delight.
Voices run a muck in the head, 
so not calming you wish you were dead.
Gushing blood through the eye
not an image that you would rely.
Nails stuck on your neck with such pain
so your paralyze just little life sustain.
Hoodlums terrorizing people running a muck
did not really know they are in luck.
More dangerous beings are out their
to commit such act and with sinister stare.
Laughing with haunting echo's through
is an aspect of fear can imbue.
The wind changes direction to smother
the echoing sound of laughter.
The panicking state that you are in
soon drives a knife within.
Blood rushing out of your vain
a crucial part of your life dropping like rain.
Running without a destination
you will never reach anyone of your relation.
Sliding your body on a wall
keeping your fall in a stall.
Red eyes you can see it at night
is soon devouring you with little bite.
Changing your belief with tonics of relief
and it is to late to turn a new leaf.
Ears start to deceive the animals sound
eating limbs are chewing around.
Slowly your red eyes steadily getting heavy
is starting to take your life with a levy.
Dropping down with no attitude
and your life force slowly loses altitude.
Breathing comes not so easy
smelling flesh seems so beastly.
The change comes a desire
with frightening red eyes of fire.
Comes more lethal than the hoodlums 
your heart beating like drums.
Your hand becomes all fury
claws come out and your howl with furry.
Trance your in with no one to blame
a rage thats hundreds of centuries of flame.
Rising from a slumber of long lust
a animal instinct that you can trust.
Tearing things apart with no meaning
is a trait that is so deceiving.
Red eyes at night you see in a window
like a poisonous black widow.
Keeps you in attack mode of insanity
that takes all your vanity.
Ferocious emotions eating away
the soul that you had once betray.
The echoing sounds of loud thunder
breaks away the armor with sunder.
You fall once again to torturous agony
the feeling of one self is so lonely.
Shaking in the corner you are found
with blood soaked skin you drowned.
The night becomes day cruel in some way
your memories go in disarray.
The hunters with torches and sinister look
had parted way their hands shook.


Details | Free verse | |

Monsters

The monsters came back, 
They taunted her every night,
Telling her absurd things.
They made her think.
They whispered in her ear 
Trying to lead her to do 
something
She had tried so hard to 
overcome.
This was a constant battle 
Between her and the wicked.
And yet again,
She was left with nothing
In a dark room
Because the monsters won.


Details | Free verse | |

I Just Want To Be Me

Nobody told you life was going to be hard. All you have to do is live it and hope the moments you don't want to remember becomes blurs and the ones that stay with you make you who you are. Nothing comes easy, nothing is hard. It's what you make of it...and I just want to be me...
I'm tired of how every moment we spend thinking of how different our lives would be turns into a sob fest and we all know how this feels; so what can we do differently? What can I do differently? I’m losing me, changing and I can’t stop. No matter how hard I try. I feel like a fish out of water, gasping, trying to survive. Waiting for someone to save me! All I’m getting are flat lines showing that I am dying.
The sun is going down now, and noting is left to be said. Slowly I wait for the day to end so that I can sleep and dream the dreams where I am me again. Where I feel alive and happy; instead of a mirrored image of myself…
...and tonight I sleep with the thought that I will wonder aimlessly through the shadows searching for what use to be me finding, a person who no longer exists...


Details | Bio | |

Alone and Empty

I'm feeling secluded and alone again
I'm lost in my tiny room
I'm in a grave without the funeral
It's my social pit of doom

How did life become so empty
Do I have a sign which is saying no entry
Maybe I'm to blame for this social suicide
Is this all part of life's rocky ride

I'm left with just me and my thoughts
Feeling all out of sorts
My own company is my worst enemy
It's sapping and wasting my energy
But I will never come crying to you for sympathy

My sheets will not become tear stained with blood
There will be no flood
I'm stuck in this mud
Is anyone listening
Is that understood
Or am I just misunderstood

Where are the shoulders on which to lean
I don't know what's happening
This must be a dream
So if you won't walk with me I will walk alone
Through my zone to find my throne

Why is it that inside I keep feeling so afraid
I fear this isolation which I have made
Has become so entwined on me
I've become my own worst slave and enemy

Living deaf dumb and blind is leaving me behind
It's getting me nothing which I try to find
My confidence is low, how do I strive on
I don't want to mess up anymore
I don't want to get it wrong

It's hard enough to believe in yourself
When you are not believing in me emphatically
I'm left with this loneliness enticing me sarcastically

And so I'm left alone and empty
In which it has gripped me
And it has stripped me down again
This destructive loneliness
It won't leave as my one true only friend


Details | Rhyme | |

Mercy Killing

What happened last night brother, 
Please tell me it's not true, 
Was i a bother, 
Don't tell me you have no clue, 

Why am i locked up in an asylum, 
Don't you trust me, 
Am i getting my mammogram, 
it's my right to know please tell me, 

Don't isolate me please, 
I beg you, am only human, 
Tell them to handle me with ease, 
Am almost a young woman, 

Don't turn away when i speak, 
I need some answers, 
These injections are making me weak, 
Not forgetting my ulcers, 

Is this about the mercy killing, 
Please brother, don't cry, 
You tried your best but am not healing, 
Please let me die, 

I can's feel my limbs, 
The medicine is getting stronger, 
Please take care of the other siblings, 
Am growing weaker, 

Am done leaving on life support machine, 
Just let me go, 
You tried but am a broken engine, 
lease let my spirit go, 

This are my last words brother, 
Please don't try and save me, 
Last night when i had a seizure, 
The doctor defiled me...,


Details | Rhyme | |

Depression

As though there existed some thin gossamer veil
Drifting down from an unheavenly trail
First just a twinge ,a touch or a feel
A feeling of loneliness one cannot conceal

Leaving one melancholy, broken and frail
Piercing ones heart like an old rusty nail
Senses of unhappiness dost hang like a cloud
Chokes out this victim in depressing dark shroud

Sadness and angst attack easy prey
All signs of joy slowly slipping away
Beauty and happiness also recede 
As depression takes hold begins to impede

All hope seems now to be fading away 
Soon thought turn to acts sane people ne’re stray
Thoughts of escape, of end of release
Pondering how to make the pain cease




Oh why does this fog devour my soul
Why does this aching take such a toll
Affliction still lingers well after my prayers 
Pain like strangers heart-piercing stares

Pure agony paralyzes my very soul
Then near paroxysm out of control
IS THERE NO FORESEEABLE END?

… alas as I plead  my pain doth descend 



*Dedicated to all who suffer


Details | Ballad | |

Disposed By Hate

Darkness sets in on a man. A weak, powerless man. A man trapped in his thoughts. Battling and trying to fight but falling into a constant lose. Trying to seek a light. But there's none in sight. Growing weaker and weaker each day. He's holding onto strings better left to fray. Sitting, thinking, breaking down with his head in his hands. Figuring all this out only to which he understands. Not knowing his fate. He's disposed by hate.

He's a mess, Filled with stress. Cant find a away out. To much to think about. Just a dark, weak minded soul. It's really taking its toll. He's been through so much. That he's effecting to the slightest touch. Its a long way to break free. To think there's a chance and one he must see. But he's not even close to reality. He's trapped in a place that he's always known. There's no way out and the door isnt shown. Struggling not knowing his fate. He's disposed by hate.


Details | Free verse | |

no longer to mourn for contest

I am a painted doll with a mean looking face
I prey on your mind of love there’s no trace
An hour glass in hand I tell you it’s time
When the sands run down your time to die
You ask me, why is it me, why am I to die
I say it’s because you are sad you do not try
Your always write sad rhymes no joy in your life
Better you die no longer to mourn
Better off dead should never been born
She spies the spindle ready to strike
Grabbed it and killed me
The lone reaper no more, 
                  this time, I die.


24/02/2013


Details | I do not know? | |

a mother no more

i once had a mother 
and a sister 
and a brother

her head was twisted
she wished for death
and barely missed it
 
she hated her life
 all she wanted was  true love 
and to become a wife

she tried soo hard  to end it 
but her spirit failed to split
   ************

they sent me away
i can still remember
grandma coming and helping 
me pack that day

As i alone walked to the car
i looked back
not understanding the distance 
so far

she shut the door
and i knew in that moment
she was my mother no more

and in that moment let my 
mind know
its time for all of us to just let 
go

months later i got a strange call
and i knew
sometimes rehab cant fix em` 
all

To: my real mom
Whom has placed this horrible 
curse I call life upon me


Details | Quatrain | |

Confrontation With Evil - Part II - Fear

Part II - Iambic Tetrameter aabb rhyme

Part II

Concealed in dreams, revealed at dawn,
The dark brings demon things thought strong.
No morbid mood can now contain
Feigned pride residing there in pain.

The dreadful dark of dreams means fear,
As shades and shadows now appear,
In early morning forming light,
Selecting scenes and stealing sight.

No pill can fill the empty will
Consuming and seducing still
All brevity and clarity
Of ones own personality.

To realize reality
Is nothing more than what you see
Inside the prism of your mind,
Confirms the evil there to find.

Each day may start and part in fear
(relief is just belief made clear)
When life's confounded all around
Your ears will hear and fear all sound

From days when all you thought was true
Depended on a vision view
That took the book of facts and claims
And mastered making names and games.

The fear that clears your dreary dreams,
Will float around your moat of schemes
And leave you neat but not alone
As fear is near its final home.

Now so confused, bemused and used
These needy dreams leave you abused.
What light or might or higher sight 
Do dark dreams seem to glean each night?

Now lost inside you cannot hide
Forsaking all your waking pride;
What curst incursion must be made
To take and make you not afraid.

Fear will hover over sorrow,
Reaching, leaching living marrow
Deep within the bin of bone,
This fear will reach but not atone.



Details | ABC | |

My Little Angel

I Losed A Huge Part Of Me Thee Other Day, Heard The Heartbeat, He Said Everthing Was Okay, As We Waited There, Time Began To Pass, I Was Getting Scared, He Walked In The Room, And The Words So Insercer Entered My Mind, Just One Word, And The Whole Room Went black, People Stared Like What Were You expespting, My Baby With His Arms Around Me, I Felt A Tear Roll Down My Cheek, And I Didnt Care Who Saw, All I Knew Was A Huge Part Of Me Wasnt there, Emptyness, Felt So Lonely, But Everyone Was There, Mommys and Daddys Little Angel Was No Longer There:"( So Heartbreaking: But True... R.I.P Jamie Mom And Dad Will Keep You In Our Prayers


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Harlan's Holler

~ Harlan’s Holler ~
Dean Kuch ©2014
The locals say, in the light of day one can visit Harlan’s Holler, stay on the path don't incite the wrath of the man who lost his daughter. The townsfolk say, to this very day, you can hear poor Charlotte cryin.' Beneath silv'ry moon, where young lovers swoon, as she lay there, slowly dyin'... In the August heat, with tiny unshod feet, Charlotte ventured into the Holler. She soon lost her way when the light of day Gave way to midnights squalor. Ripe berries sweet for her mom to eat she'd gone there for the pickin', her bucket now full, twirling locks a' crull, the creeping darkness began to thicken. She wandered for days, to the towns dismay, poor little Charlotte could not be found. Old man Harlan yelled; damned them all to hell— then placed a curse upon the ground. No crops will grow on the ground you sow, all your livestock will surely die, you'll toil endlessly, in the end, you'll be just the same as my Charlotte lie. You'll burn in hell, you'll see, in the end, you'll be just the same as my Charlotte lie... The days dragged on under the summer sun as the child withered to dust. Fred Harlan died, Bible at his side, felled by his curse and vengeful lust. Down on Harlan's Hill you can hear them still, mournful sobs by Pa and daughter, when the moon's just right, in the dead of night, stay away from Harlan's Holler. Lest you tarry there— 'neath the moon, beware, of the curse of Harlan's Holler...


Details | Classicism | |

Noone Will Ever Take Your Place

Everyday I listen to songs that remind me of you,
 I miss you so much I feel lost I dont even know what to do
 This is the hardest thing I ever had to go threw.
I would give anything just to have you back, 
But I know thats not gonna ever happen so I dont know how to act.
Now your miles & miles away,
 If I had one wish it would be for you to stay. 
I just hope your happy and okay.
Since I cant tell you I love you to your face
 I'm writing you this poem to let you know 
our memories noone can erase and in my life
 noone will ever take your place.


Details | Narrative | |

The Sea Blue Eyes I

Once in a while I meet a person whose eyes tell their story
The story is like the sky reflection on the seas of glory
The eyes are all the wonder of the world
It sees the future, past, and present
The eyes give us knowledge of the world and reflection
The reflection of sadness and weakness of each creature
The wonder of each individual being has a present
To the world who has lots of false images
To arise the moment of that one glance
To follow the heart in romance
Just the reflection that gather in your eyes of blue
What a man and a woman should view
Life is such a pain without stopping to see each eyes
Its like roses you have to enjoy each passion in side
When that moment collides with mind and heart
Nothing in your soul can keep your love apart
Join in the fun look in every eyes of a person beside
With passion and romance I bet you, you would cry
The luster of all the things to come
A bounty of life long needs to be given by just the wonders of the eyes
The blue seas reflects the different depths of our feelings
And it should become revealing
Come to your senses with ravaging hormones of lust
The sea can take you and even the reflection in the eyes of the person
The beauty is not held by one it is held by everyone
Such looks with fear for no relief
Is almost a dreadful part in our human nature
Beware of what can happen when emotions are held
Held to the core of an individual
No such thing is kindness when you find yourself in the Sea Blue Eyes
Calling in your soul by just looking
With ignorance you play around with such futile emotion
Gush away the fear and do not go insane with life so dear
The grasp of the titans comes to reveal
The evil within your heart is so obscenely noticed
You want the sea and you want those eyes to look at you with wishes
The rage in the heart are waves that cannot stop 
It pushes and pushes with no regret
The heart falters and there is only one thing in your mind
The idea of one soul to be with is the ocean 
The rifts that is trying to break to end the wants of desire
Cannot be trusted in a human lier
The beauty of man is destruction 
The beauty of women are commands
The eyes of each does not matter in the sea
Because all emotion and desire is given to those who are true
Command of a person is just one thing 
The desire to destroy is another
The Sea Blue Eyes will see no bother cause it bares it all
Even the utmost desire
To be continue.


Details | Free verse | |

Watery Coffin

I look into my child’s eyes
Brown pools of innocence
And I see my reflection
A silhouette of heartbreak
I want to go back in time
I want to hold her tighter
I need to tell her I love her
And I’ll never let her go

But I did that fateful day
Repeatedly I screamed her name
My movements were slow
Everyone else was frozen in time
The water felt like quicksand
My enemy in my time of need
Waves crashing, distancing me
With each fall, they laugh at me

Another soul they are about to steal
Adding to their marine collection
My cries, fearful, they go unheard
The seagulls fly past, mocking me
I keep running in slow motion
Like I’m sloshing through molasses
The unbearable pain in my chest
My heart gone by ocean’s erosion

The salt fills my lungs, burning with fire
Panicking in despair, I see her body
Downturned, arms outstretched
Flying with the ones that took her from me
I beg her to breathe, I demand that she listens
I call her name in frustration
But she never responds to me
Her silence torments my ears

I hold her in my tight embrace
I tell her I love her…baby, I love you
I want to see her smile at me
I try to rewind time but it refuses
The twinkle in her eyes, darkened by death,
Reflects overwhelming heartbreak
A paralyzing sadness turned into numbness
The water took two lives that day.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Countless Wishes -Part 2-

I wish
To demolish my sorrow…
I wish
To forget the despair and gleefully grow…
To forgive and seek the challenges of tomorrow…
My downfalls and my failures…
I wish
To disappear
I wish
I had no fear…
For God’s near…
I wish
I could be a cheetah in the grassland
I wish
To store all of my energy for an evening run…I’d never give up in the process
I wish
My whole spirit could simply sponge in God’s nature and make great progress
And I truly wish
I could stick to my daily plans of building a sturdier relationship with God 
I wish
I had the merriness in my life especially during hardships…

My countless wishes
Brings me down to my weakest point…
My countless wishes
Overthrows me…but it helps me in the long run…

I wish I could forgive 
My daily regrets and breakdowns
I wish I could forget
My despondency – embracing my frowns 

I wish
To live a life without error
Without a care
I wish
To be flawless when I make my everyday decisions
And scare away 
The darkness that tries to make me give up
I wish
I had more time to overcome…
These waves of emotions

My countless wishes
Brings me down to my disheartened state…
My countless wishes
Are like walls from every direction closing in on me…
But it’s a convenient tool in the future…

I wish
I could be live in someone else’s shoes…
But what good would it do?
Would it lead me to the narrow pathway?
Would it inspire me to push all of my doubts away? 
Would it push away the blues?
Could He give me any clues?


Details | Rhyme | |

Are We Being Driven to God's Elimination


Are We Being Driven to God’s Elimination? In the names of diversity and anti-discrimination. It’s like we’re being driven to God’s elimination! God is being “forced” from many institutions! All in the name of this country’s constitution! We’re told that God and this country must be “separated.” Anything less is what many would call; “discriminated.” Any forms of Godly virtues or values are “torn down.” Any symbol of a cross, is often “removed from the town.” It’s no wonder that this country’s in such a big mess! And yet this country wants to be strong and blessed? “What shall the righteous do if the foundations are destroyed?” Meanwhile, the tide of ungodliness, is often “enjoyed.” Those who are trying to remove God! You must beware! His judgment is soon coming! And will catch you unaware! There’s will come a day! When God’s wrath you will endure! The wages of sin is death! This is very true and sure! People may think that removing God is the “thing to do.” Anyone who attempts to do will wind up as “a fool.” Only God can fill the void in life and true love within! Only he has the power to free your soul from sin! The words; “in God we trust,” in our lives must be applied! Everything we’ll ever need… God has supplied! God is this country’s hope! It’s only true foundation! We need HIM right now! To come and heal our nation! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Forgotten

Walking down a lonely road,
I pass a pond which no one knows.
I crept along to its edge,
And deep within i found the courage.
I dropped my eyes to the black abyss,
The things i saw i wished to miss.
The dreams and wishes of the damned,
Staring back i began to stand.
My body ran from that hellish place,
My mind it stayed in death's embrace.
Nevermore, did i see,
The God i praised, watching me.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Precious Glimpse

Rambling rants of a disturbed mind
genius in his day, one of a kind
fighting against some archenemy
flailing and arguing continuously
family visit heartbroken
in their eyes, no need to be spoken
on a good day he just ignores
their presence, one of his chores
on a bad day swearing and cursing
a painted smile they've been rehearsing
the man they knew is long gone
but in their soul, his memory shone
they keep hoping for a breakthrough
a precious glimpse of the person they knew


Details | Rhyme | |

You make monsters just for fun

Look what you've gone

   & Done

     Now,

Tell me that you can see-

   Exactly

 What it is -that you've 

   unleashed-

That was burried,

   Hidden

Deep inside of me-

 

So entreanched in hate & 

     Anger

Because that's what you've left

     For me.

 

     Inside,

 I can it feel growing-

The seeds you so thoughtlessly 

    Sowed down 

   Within my soul,

Dont you realize you cant mess

   With a girls emotions

  With out having it all 

   Start to take its toll-
 
             Erin Anderson-04/20/2012


Details | Rhyme | |

A Shameful Few

Chip away at the surroundings,
To get to the spoils inside.
Mindless of devastation,
Or the pain as a nation cries.

Off in a new direction,
The agenda must be upheld.
Global unification?
A very grim fairy tale!

Greed on their back as they pillage,
Warmongers with hue and cry!
Fodder sent home in a wooden box,
As more and more people still die!

Freedom and liberty long gone,
As we are snared in the tellers net.
Peasants and squires of near future.
In the worst game of risk ever yet!

Stolen and lost are our rights
As the parasites hold their heads high!
Choking on lies as they spew their untruths
As to why the next country must die!

Nothing it seems will stop them,
Hell bent on their mission it seems.
The ruination of the world...
As they crush its inhabitants dreams!

Turning on their own people
People they should try and protect.
When that trust is gone it’s all over,
Because what do the people have left?

Civilized nations turned monster
By the leaders consumed with greed
No happily ever after....
Just the planting of evil’s seed!

Chip away at the surroundings,
To get to the spoils inside.
Mindless of devastation,
Or the pain as a nation cries!


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

Holy books says it all
You taught me how to crawl
This will never change
Never ends never fades
Dear God where you are?
Shattered piece of childish dreams
This will never change
Never ends never fades.

I can fight for all my life,
Not broken, not broken inside
Never be so frustrated,
Not going to commit suicide.

Fuc*ing faith will fall,
Mortals will stand tall
Hell and heaven are all the same
Live your life, don't die in vain

Only you and I can make 
A better world for tomorrow
Have faith in yourself
And wipe off the tears of sorrow

Make me scream, Make me cry
I'll never fail to try.
This night's has an end
No pain will remain


Details | Free verse | |

Hard Decision

I never wanted you to see this.
The darkest part of me.
Something filled with mystery and darkness.
You havent seen all of me but you have seen just enough for me to have to leave.
Im sorry but I cant let that part of me hurt you.
Im starting to care about you and that scares me.
I dont want to hurt you.
But I dont want to leave.
What should I do?
What should I do?


Details | Free verse | |

Damages and Diseases of the swinging Pendulum mind: Part Two

I’m so afraid of myself Afraid of the anger that burns my soul A vicious poison Consuming what should be my soul Corrupting the very breadth of life in me A false sense of control was all I ever had But yet…with you Everything is calmer Everything is clearer You are my savior My savior My grace But the pendulum still swings Still swings The danger never really gone Just…eased My mind Eased For awhile But the poison is still there Still affecting my mind Still attacking me They call it “Bipolar Disorder” I call it an excuse They say it’s mild I say… It is nothing but- An excuse One I shall not use There is no excuse to the way I treat you Or anyone else for that matter But you in particular, Do not deserve any of this You’re my guardian angel The target of my never ending pendulum I want it to stop I want it to go away But it never will It never will I can’t stop it I want too But I don’t know how I’m so afraid I’m so scared I’m so diseased I’m so worthless I have nothing to offer you in return of your undying friendship Nothing but grief comes your way Nothing but hardship and torment And the burning waters of my unchained mind do not help They only hurt Only hurt And I’m so sorry So sorry I want it to stop But I don’t know how I don’t know how I’m so sorry For all the pain All the torment The screaming inside me Bouncing through my head Through my very being But unable to escape Nothing escapes Until… The anger explodes Like a volcanic eruption It goes everywhere And you get caught in it And it’s not fair Not fair Not fair And I feel so guilty Wanting you around Keeping you around When all I do is hurt you All I do is hurt I hurt I hurt I’m scared I’m sorry I’m damaged I damage I’m sorry I’m so afraid of what I’ve become I want to go back Go back Take it all back Undo it all Undo everything Set you free


Details | ABC | |

Baby I miss you

Baby I miss you
I miss the way we snuggle and get wrap up together
I miss the way your lips touch mine
I miss the way you touch me
I miss when we held hands
Baby I miss you
I know when we went our different ways
that it was my fault not yours
I never wanted to let you go
I was just so sacred that if you really seen me for the real person I am
that you would leave me 
I never meant to say goodbye forever 
Now you moved on 
And I'm left here  with a broken heart
I'm trying to be strong 
but your always on mind 
I can't seem to erase you from my mind
I'm sorry for ever hurting you.


Details | Couplet | |

My Blue Dress

I never seem able to stop a fall, my life is just a mess

Even though I don't look it- smiling in my blue dress



I comb my hair and keep it down, something I never did

The secret behind it? I can keep my face well hid



My smile, and my kind words mean nothing, no not these days

And on the outside, though I may seem stable, my body discretely sways



I cannot handle the weight on my back but bear it with a grin

Though on the inside I lost the game, on the surface I appear to win



At night I'll curl into myself and cry until I'm asleep

Yet in front of people-smile. I smile so they can't see me weep



Details | Rhyme | |

The Last Post

THE LAST POST.............

Six soldiers bear a coffin, 
Of a comrade killed in war. 
The Union flag draped over him, 
A hero to us all. 

This soldier killed in battle, 
In a conflict overseas. 
A man who fought for his beliefs, 
While defending you and me. 

To the families of these soldiers, 
Of my thanks I give to you. 
The bravery that they have shown, 
Such courage is shown by few. 

A military burial, a volley of shots, 
Then a flag lifted up from its host. 
And as we lay him down to sleep, 
A bugler then plays the last post. 

God bless you our brave British soldier, 
For this country still owes you a debt. 
You gave up your life for our freedom, 
This ex soldier will never forget. 

.............Rest in peace...............


Details | Ballad | |

Blinded on My Wedding Day

Convince that you are the one for me.

Persuaded that I am the one you need.

Deceived that you desire my love.

Refused to see the truth so I wait.

Believing that your heart is not filled with hate.

I cry for my Heart that I am not confused.

Praying to God that I am not just being used.

Blinded by the, Yes I will marry you!

Consumed by the, Will you marry me?

Walking down the aisle to meet my groom, didn't realize it was the day of my doom! 

Oh! What can I say. Blinded on My wedding Day.


Details | Free verse | |

stella

the thoughts in this demented mind... the pain only heard in silent cries. her mask was brilliant, hiding her tormented soul. on the outside she was strong as a bull. compliments to her personality and optimism made it easier to accept the criticism. on the inside she was ridden with self hate it all made it harder just to wait.


Details | Lyric | |

Joy

Lingering whispers fester in her head,
Secrets and memories roll down her cheek.
She is aching to be heard,
Yet the pins
In her lips
Won't let
Her 
Speak.

One day she opens her window,
Warmth flooding her dead eyes;
Her skin aglow
And smile blooming,
"I'm finally 
Free!"
She
Cries.


Details | Lyric | |

The Struggle

Strain 
On my back
This burden
Will burst my veins
The strength to hold on
I lack
Can't shield the attack

I shake
Under the weight
Keep throwing the bricks
Until my soul is sick
Create my fate
Laugh when I cry
And dance when I die

Venom filled words
Burn through the porcelain
Stabbing the sword
Deeper in blood red skin
The hiss
Fills my ears
Hit
Miss
One more sear
More burning tears

Death will come
Victory for the meek
Can't help but succumb
To the power you seek

We stand tall
A power so great
You've become so small
No room for your hate
Our scars erased
By the one deserving
The highest place


Details | Verse | |

Dear God

Didn’t we do enough to earn the best, oh dear God?
We suffered every day, and went through hell.
We never left, we kept the faith in You, oh dear Lord.
Why still didn’t we earn the mercy of Yours?
Why aren’t we happy still?

Maybe we forgot the sense
You put into our lives when You
Gave us the possibility to breathe,
Maybe we don’t see, or never
Understand the truth that rises above us.
It’s complicated.
Only holy ones can realize.
But we keep going.

We were left on the empty road,
And there is nobody to take us,
Nobody to save us from the sorrow.

We may breathe.
We may believe
But how are we supposed to
Find a way, oh dear God,
When we are so lost?


Details | Free verse | |

Damages and Diseases of the swinging Pendulum mind: Part Three

Let you be I don’t want to hurt you I don’t want to I don’t I don’t I’m so sorry I’m so scared I’m scarred I’m scared I’m sorry You’re always so great to me Always Always I’m nothing but trouble to you Nothing but impending pain and torture Grief and Sorrow Nothing good Nothing good I am so very sorry I’m sorry that I cling to you as a life line That I can’t be strong on my own Like a helpless child I look to you I’m pathetic Useless Horrible I say I’m here for you Yet…am I really? Or do I just think I am Do I just believe that I help you half as much as you do me, But in reality just make things worse I can’t decide I can’t think The pendulum swings faster The ocean tides rise once again I’m drowning in my own doubt I’m drowning in my own paranoia And then there you are Ready to dive in and pull me from the tortures From the ever changing fragments of my mind But you still get hit By a deadly wave By the pendulum And you’re brought down Why do you continuously help me When I just continuously bring you down You could easily just let me drown You could easily leave me be and save your own sanity But you do not You are not like them The people who have left me to be buried You are different You are an angel You save me time and time again And I just wish I could save you I wish I could let you go So you no longer were punished by me So you could be happy Because when you are happy I am happy I feel you I feel what you go through How much I haunt you How I torment you And if I could just release you from that I know you’d be better So much better without me Without my damaged mind But I can’t I can’t I am too selfish I can’t let you go I’d drown I’d die The pendulum swings faster Faster The waves grow The tides get higher Higher Crashing Crashing And then… Your hand reaches mine And everything eases I can’t let you go I should But I can’t I never will be able to I’m too scared too And I’m sorry So very sorry I’m too selfish I’m sorry


Details | Free verse | |

Crying In The Rain

Crying in the rain
Letting go of all this pain
I do not want to see again
How we came crashing to an end
I do not want to see why
We were forced to say good bye
I have watched it and I have lived it
Been crushed by such a low hit
I’m crying in this rain
My eyes red with raw pain
The tears are flowing
Just not going
And I’m left all alone
I beg for your forgiveness
I scream with all I’ve got
But when it comes together
What I have is not a lot
I walk alone down this street
Strangers’ eyes are following
But I just keep on walking
Head down and never slowing
I pace these roads and hope to find
Something that means anything
Something that’s familiar
Until then I’m just left hanging
I’m still crying in this town
The rain pours on my face
Trying to forget you
But failing at first base
I cannot help but remember
Your face and how you smile
Just keep walking strong
It might be easier after a mile
Your eyes and how they glowed
Are burnt into my mind
I close my eyes and see them
Staring back right into mine
I’m crying on this night
And will on many more to come
I’ll stumble forward without you
Looking for my fortune
I cannot ever forget
The feeling that I had
When you put your arms around me
And chased away all the sad
I will try but fail to forget
How you loved me through thick and thin
I will wander through my life
But always still in love with him
He was my world and I can’t forget
He makes me who I am
Although he’s gone and lost from sight
I will not become a sham
I will always try to forget
How brilliant he made me feel
Made the world seem wonderful
And that maybe this world was real
The pain I feel when I remember him
Is cutting deeper still
He’s left a gaping hole in me
One that no one could ever fill
I try and try and fail again
My baby is still gone
I’m crying in this rain again
Cold and all alone


Details | Free verse | |

Stasis

It’s quiet in here
Almost completely silent
All I can hear is the dying mechanical hum 
of whatever’s barely keeping me alive

I’m suspended in something
Much like liquid 
but far more restricting

My eyes are burning 
So I keep them closed
And it’s that much less pain I feel

It takes all I have
To reach out and touch the glass
And wonder what’s out there
Wonder what I’m missing

If I’ve got to stay here my entire life
Then what’s the point of....living?


Details | Rhyme | |

Abandoned--part one

To watch you leave, watch you walk out Hurt so much and filled me with tremendous doubt That we were every truly friends It was as if you really didn’t care in the end This life, so full of secrets and lies I never understood any of it…and you walk away, back turned away from the silent cries My heart wrenches with unmendable grief Why did you ever come around! Why must I hold on to this false belief That you ever cared when you really did not Your lies and secrets, so full of raging hate, I tried to love you…I tried to show you a friend all for naught. I do not understand…and I never will because you will not allow me too I want to understand…I want to help you and be here for you But all you do is push me aside…push me away Bury me in silence, stab me with your misery…but still I wish you to stay But you do not, you still leave, still walk out that door And I fall…hard to the unforgiving cold, hard floor Weeping bitterly tears of repressed sorrow and pain This empty void growing, tearing me from the inside…but the smiles I still feign I still walk this crooked path that leads to nowhere Wondering if maybe…just maybe I will find you here Because you’ve stolen into my battered heart and made me care And now I cannot let you go…not ever…I wouldn’t dare Yet you still do not care about the hurt…the tears You still just walk away, continuing to spreading your fears And she goes with you You knew that she would and you allowed her to


Details | Rhyme | |

Abandoned--part two

You allowed her to abandon what has all become this shattered group Nothing but a repeating, battered loop Of anger and torment And she still follows you and would to the end of the earth without thought of me or him We are nothing in your twisted version of the world, everything you do based on a whim Except when it comes to her, she is your everything And you are her everything And we, me and him, are the nothings The nothings that inhabit the space and air around Worthless, more so than the ground That you stomp on; and hidden deep inside Where all the monsters and demons reside, And I DAMN you for dragging her down with you To the depths of nothing, where you run and hide, because it’s all you ever do And I DAMN you, because you take her from me And it shows just home much, I really mean nothing…to you or to her…but I’ll never be free I will never escape this bottomless hole of hopeless sorrow I have placed myself in, because I will always want you and her, today, yesterday, and tomorrow It will not matter I will not, and he will not We will never matter, we will only be forgot She follows you, and I watch, my heart ripping from my chest I cannot take anymore, this abandonment bringing me, to my final rest.


Details | Narrative | |

A part of me

A part of me is dying
There is no point left in crying

Everything is wrong,
and my heart has been bonged.
Im left confused
not knowing what to do.

The world has lost its mind
And now a part of me 
dies cause you never noticed
me crying while i lie dying.


Details | Couplet | |

Between the ears

I raise my glass 
and give false cheers 
 
Leave on the light 
to hide my fears 
 
Wear make up 
to fade the years 
 
Bow my head 
to avoid their sneers 
 
Run in the rain 
to disguise my tears 
 
Plaster on a smile 
as inside it sears 
 
Gaze at the clock 
as the time nears 
 
Watch it slip away 
as it disappears


Details | Blank verse | |

THE SACRIFICE

Stuck between two thots I can't believe what i saw
An extra taste of sweetness to my eyes...
Barely glancing at this eye candy was I on the wrong side of the law
See I know nothing unsinfull could ever feel this good
A touch like a rare sin that sends me to heaven changing any days worst mood

Her beauty was that of the Garden of Eden
Her lips a temptation like a forbbiden fruit no Adam could ever resist
Her eyes an ocean of lust I tried so hard not to drown in
But everytime we touched i slipped back in...
Deeper into this ocean
I'm trying hard to swim to this ship-cos i feel we have this relation

But I must be a bad sailor cos all my relationShips seem to sink
Followed by death of the heart,
Frozen in the sea of love like the ending of Titanic
So I don't want us to end in such tragic
That's why i choose to sail in this friendship...
Thou it hurts to say congratulations when you find joy with another
I'd rather hurt with you next to me than point from a distance and say ''THAT'S MY EX-LOVER''


Details | Rhyme | |

My White Daughter

My White Daughter

The two play like
sisters

Quy-Imah has braids
And is of a darker
hue

Kayla has blonde
hair
And eyes of Blue


In the back seat of
my car they play
Martin Luther King’s
dream
Just two feet away

Quy-Imah says, Hi
Daddy
Kayla copies, Hi
Daddy
(They both giggle)


I try to ignore
their childish
musings
Sisters by their own
choosing

No one could could
convince them
That they were any
different

Then my pessimism 

Start
to
Catalog

If they ever were to

Disappear or go
missing

My White Daughter
Would get FBI,
Helicopters
And a hundred
canines

My Black daughter
Would be lucky to
get a single dog


Details | Free verse | |

Little One

Fields black and sundered so,
Mists of tears, forgot in woe,
Showers of rain, standing still,
Skin as white as snow,

Passers by wander not a sight,
Pay no heed to such a blight,
Showers of rain, lost in ill,
Wandering each... stone cold night,

Forgot, abandoned, this lowly one,
Hope is lost, all yet none,
Showers of rain, brights forsaken,
Misbegotten hope, now that all is done.


Details | I do not know? | |

Long Kiss Goodnight

3 years in 3 days,
the horror of replays.
Like a bug caught in a jar,
awaiting the inevitable.
No holes,
asphyxiation in darkness.
Battling in dark fantasies,
the journey of fire.
The burning eternal,
calloused soul.

Scorched at the core,
how much must I endure
before I see the light..
If ignorance is bliss
Should I shut my eyes?


Details | Free verse | |

Quiet Waters

Streams of blue fluid 
Flows downward 
As fragile carcasses decay 
Without a peep of a sound

We’re in the brink of disaster… 

Who invited such fear and anguish?
Who could lead us to quiet waters?

We bleed…
Polluting the waters below us… 
Trickling down the mountain
To our filthy feet…

Cleansing the sin off of our skin
But, it’s tangled from deep within…

The eeriness breaks 
The hearts of a thousand strangers
They all fall away powerlessly… 
Into the chambers of death 

Danger is lurking in every corner…
Pursuing its evil plans
To cut down our hopes…
Growing like crops… 
Rising rapidly –  
It never stops

Dreams of misfortune still 
Rapes our minds,
Plaguing our happiness… 
Consuming the darkness…

We’re sprawling on the ground…
We’re crawling like infants…
Veering briskly like serpents…

Who will set our souls free 
From suppression?  

Who will preserve our hearts?
Don’t prey upon our 
Guiltless lives… 
We’re in complete agony… 
Does He consider 
Our prayers  
Of support and nourishment? 

We scream…
Breaking the repulsive solitude…

Encourage us to keep on 
Trekking toward Your light

Where’s Your path?

You rinse off all of the sorrow 
Giving us a ecstatic tomorrow 

The weeping ceases…
While the corpses 
Tear into 
Blood-spattered 
Pieces…  

The faith of a couple of people
Strengthens us…keeps us motivated…
Not captivated…
In misery…
We’re reaping our 
Ecstasy…   
Leading us to peace and fortune 
Keeping us accustomed
To Your purifying spirit…
Keeping us away from 
Calamity… 

We’re hungry… 
Our demise is close at hand…
Closing in on us abruptly 
Like an obscure cave…

Rescue us from affliction –  
Embracing downhearted clouds…

Those wretched clouds…

Brought us rain when we asked for bread…

Those merciless clouds…

Spewed out scorching fire when we asked for relief…

Remember our supplications… 
Appalling lightning’s daring to strike us  
Out of cruel vengeance 
Out of sheer amusement 

Don’t even attempt to weaken us
We’re blossoming in joy…
We’re under cover… 
You can’t manipulate us 
Like a subtle toy 

We’re praying for
Quiet waters

Offer the deceased 
A second chance

Don’t disown 
Our broken lives

We’re not alone…

We’re just waiting until
The quiet, glistening waters
Gratefully arrives…


Details | Rhyme | |

SO PEACEFUL, SO COLD IS THIS WINTER AFTERNOON

The American eagles left their warm nests
before snow fell on the evergreen pines and spruces,
so did the ravens, grackles and petrels...
hidden among the white mountains, the river still flows.


So peaceful, so cold is this winter afternoon,
no other sound but the waters babbling on rocks,
flowing into the wide valley below without a tune...
two months ago, the placid lake swarmed with ducks. 


Footprints are visible into the frozen snow that no one loves...
who would venture in this life-threatening wilderness?
Could it be a grizzling gone astray, or searching for his cubs?
Leave it to the imagination, or simply take a guess! 


So peaceful, so cold is this winter afternoon,
and the more I look, the less I think of danger...
I would love to get out and discover it like the slow-moving raccoon
seeking food until he shivers and decides to turn back with anger.


Details | I do not know? | |

shooting stars

The waves of hatred and defeat
Go crashing into the rocky shore
With the sands of love and peace
Before you leave you must teach
The world what you have learned
For when you rise angels by your sides
You will take the worlds concerns

What you teach whether it wisdom or beseech
The knowledge you have earned
Let it wisen you further
Complete you with the gift
You have given unto the world
And when you fly
Saying your last goodbyes
Much the world has learned
So take this poem to
Consider or concern

For soon you rise 
You have the choiceof just how far you get
The angels cry
With weepy eyes
 forever in your debt

Choose wisely young one
Before your light is out
It flits and flickers some
Unsure, much in doubt

Take hold, control
Your future is bright
Leave your past behind
Leave it out of sight

Don't lie forgotten
Forever unaware
Of the time and its passing
Please, your thoughts you must share

Your light turned out
Your time is up
Your choice must be made
In white you rise
Your flight to the skies
As the stars in the night fade

The waves of hatred and defeat
Go crashing into the rockey shores
With the sands of love and peace
As the stars in the night soar


Details | Free verse | |

Alongside Agony

Provided that I no longer sigh
Any bloodcurdling curses
Whereby I have to flee my ease:
Neither my voice, nor my tongue,
Nor the deep sleep in my skin
Do save me power for this dimm’d wrought trip.
Then, needless to cram my dreary lyrics
With the bird songs of painful nights;
As no time is there for me to tear
Wicked pages in people’s awful pride.
Shall I cede my cosmic glimpses 
Striving overly those folk myths;
Or maybe keep closely every single far
Glittering dream by my tender side?
It is only when I sing the nightfall
Must the fierce wall disappear,
Dancing by those dusty fractures
Splitting all its standing rocks.
Save my grief I can nothing grieve
Back to the endless road of hope;
Where no fuel still rises waging
Warlike screams of my wordy brief breath.


Details | Ballad | |

One Last Glance--- SONG 1

Don’t let yourself be scared,
	be confident.
Don’t hold your soul back,
	just let it take flight.
Standing alone in an empty room
	admiring art from pictures of me and you.

One glance back at the life you knew before,
One last tear that wasn’t meant to fall,
One last embrace to know you were real,
One last breath to make sure you were okay;
One glance back.

Sheltered in your arms,
	a curtain of love binds me.
Hunger in your kiss,
	to know that you need me.
But I’m standing alone in a crowded
room filled with people admiring pictures
	of me and you.

One glance back at the life you knew before,
One last tear that wasn’t meant to fall,
One last embrace to know you were safe,
One last breath to make sure you 
were awake;
One glance back.

You left me on my own
worried sick about you, holding onto all
that was left of you. The
memory of you walking away,
with my silent prayer
hoping you would be okay. . .

One glance back. . .

		One last tear. . .

	One last embrace. . .

			One last breath. . .

One glance back at the life you had before,
One last tear that was meant to fall,
One last embrace to hold me through the 
night,
One last breath just to see the
mornin’ light.
One last glance.

One last glance. . .
		One last tear. . .

			One last embrace that I hold dear. . .

	One last breath that saves a life. . .



One last glance good-bye. . .

				Good-bye. . . 


								good-bye.


Details | Free verse | |

The Voices

Laying here.
Can't Sleep.
No sounds.
Not a peep.
Just these voices in my head.
Why won't they leave me alone?
I just want to go to bed!
Driving me crazy!
Insane!
...And perhaps even mad.
And the only time I get glad,
Is when these voices aren't putting me down,
Making me sad,
depressed,
Frightened.
No light.
Can't see like I lost my sight and
These voices are trying to decieve me.
I hope they don't get the best of me.
At first I thought it was my conscientious.
Thought I was feeling guilty for all the wrong I've done.
Until I heard another voice as well,
Then three,
Four,
So many i can't keep count anymore.
But okay, I get it, you probably think I'm crazy.
In the middle of a cold, dark, lonely alley
with no one around me and suddenly a scream,
SHUT UP AND GET AWAY FROM ME!
But no, you don't get it.
You don't understand.
Numerous voices telling me how worthless I am.
I have no memories.
All the pain from the past dwells in me.
But it's not my fault,
It's these voices in my head.
All this started when I tried to go to bed.
They told me all this would be better if i was dead.
They promised me no one would care.
So just maybe I should send this bullet through my head.


Details | Free verse | |

Gasping for Care

I woke up this morning
A stormy pattern of thoughts
My pillow wet from tears
Feelings of isolation
Lack of love
Family desertion
I woke up this morning
Alone with my thoughts
Leaning over as I walked
Hunchback across the room
From my heavy heart

I reached out and asked
Why do you ignore me
Am I unworthy of your love
You enjoy the power play of separation
Do you not see my torment
From the isolation 
My penance for speaking truth
A truth you wish to ignore
Let’s put our collective heads in the sand
The grains of pain will blow away if we do

And when I fell down
Slipping on my tears 
My fear of rejection came true
With the simple question
What happened to you
With words of truth
You think I’m self indulgent and irrelevant
So I bury everything inside
Waiting for it to reappear
Another time when I’m stronger
Maybe I can handle your rejection

When I screamed to you
I need you
The deafness was shrill
Your collective heads in the sand again
It’s easier to ignore an ugly memory
Than to look fear in the face
You needed me in ancient times 
When no one else could help
And yet when I reached out 
You ignored me

All those years of pain
Come around again
I’m the easy target to place the blame
The old man is gone now
My ultimate fear of facing him down
In his time of dire need
From this distance I cared
While you chose to ignore him
And he died a slow death
And when he passed
You cut me out
And watched me bleed
Isolation is my penance
For loving the best I could

Years from now
If the circumstances are right
You might look back on this
And wonder what happened to the girl
Full of promise 
Full of love
Full of expectations
The rubbish only remains
There’s no one else to blame
But myself for my weakness
For allowing your permeation of vengeance 
Isolation is the name of the game

I don’t dare reach out
They will engrave upon me
Their version of their memory 
While watching me
Falling into the crevice of deep sadness
Bleeding to death
The pain in my heart
And they don’t care
And I’m not allowed to share
So I’m left alone with my thoughts
Waking up to tears on my pillow
Drowning a slow death
Gasping for care


Details | I do not know? | |

your pictures

A picture is worth a thousand words 
but when I look at your I am speechless
As I stare back at what was 
my mind races off 

our first date 
I think I kissed you to late 
but let me tell you it was fate 
my heart beat at a dangerous rate 
I knew then you where my mate,

our first outing 
that's when I knew there was no more doubting
I could fell our love sprouting
I was finally done scouting

first time at your house
I was quite as a mouse 
you where wearing the most stunning blouse 
thats when I knew you would be my spouse 

how could I be so dumb 
I fell like I lost the one


Details | Free verse | |

Divided in two

Two parallel Worlds divide my body and mind in two.

One World holds my heart, while the other holds my limp body.

One World shows the life i'v held in my heart, where there is good and there is bad, but everything in that World always ends in good.

The other World shows the life i'v feared for years, where there is nothing but bad, but everything ends in death.

I'v lived in both Worlds.
I'v hurt in both Worlds.

Both seem neither good nor bad at times.

But the funny thing is... 
OUR world today is what those two Worlds have become.

( If you may PLEASE comment of Mail me. Sorry i havn't been on in a long time... ALOT has happened this year to me)



Details | I do not know? | |

Backdraft

Darkness of my soul
Flowing deep within the color of my eyes
Excreting a heavenly passion for pain

Fears of the unknown
Puzzling my mind with homicide
I fear life’s lowest points
I fear being alone
Carefully placing a thought upon each action

Abandonment flows deep within my bosoms
Releasing a milky flow wondering if I will drink it

Capturing my imagination onto a picture so colorful and bright
Dreams never all go away

Trust is my mother
Fornication is my father
An Abuser to the bone
Ugliness through his soul

Daddy’s little girl
It’s no longer our word
An emotion filled with temptation and molestation
Life is but a dream

Screw your daughter
There’s no time for law and order
But honor thy father and thy mother?

The meek shall smile big
The guilty shall smile thin

God is above 
But gravity holds us down

Back up and re-read the script
For happiness has passed you by


Details | Rhyme | |

Realize, Remember, Regret

That moment when you realize,
what love should be,
what you lost,
what you didn't see..

That one memory,
that you cant forget,
that haunts you,
that makes you wonder why you met..

That piercing look and,
she makes you melt,
she teases you,
she makes you question all you've felt..

That end result,
you'll never quite recover,
you'll always regret,
you'll always wish she were your lover..


Details | Couplet | |

PREVENTING THE EXTINCTION OF THE BEAUTIFUL TIGERS

They still wander with caution and fear in the remote swamps and grasslands 
of India and Siberia, and these carnivorous animals are the beautiful tigers.


They are trapped, poched, killed and their soft furs are shipped overseas for huge profits,
but their sad end is drawing near, unless some caring human really gets involved and acts. 


Their life span is shorter in their natural habitat, struggling for food and those caged in zoos
have a longer life expectancy...they never experience those hunger pangs in early noons. 


They are an extremely hostile species, ready to devour anything that has flesh and blood.
Does anyone wonder why they react so indignantly, don't they fear of being taken and sold? 


When tigers are attacked, they fight back and killing they prevent their threat of extinction.
Do we all realize their animosity for the huntsmen, who chase them and shoot them down?

Let's all feel some compassion for them...let's save them and give them freedom and dignity.
Let them roam freely as they did once in South Asia, living in full accord with humanity.


Details | Free verse | |

Too bare, to bare

Too long, to long for that which I once had.
Undoing the melody,
that played on my heart strings.
Skinning the weasel 
that would eat innocence.

Too empty, to empty myself here and now.
Body beaten,
mind unwound, 
heart underground.
Stealing joy:
the occupation of fallen one.

Too bare, to bare fragile soul in this state.
Naked
the day I awoke
to see that nothing is mine.
Skiving from love
that left me burning.

Too sorry, to sorry the pain into dark corners.
Lion and snake
take turns to occupy
my gaze and soul.
Leaving me mixed-up and confounded.


Details | Free verse | |

Closed Doors

God, I don't think im ready
my confidence is drowning like a Louisiana levee
I don't feel prepared
and all that comes won't be shared

I don't posses what I feel is mine
I feel like i've forgotten how to rhyme
I'm hungry like im poor
and I keep meeting up with closed doors

But when I go where I go, sometimes I get lost
I get led on and I get forgot
So I approach life anxiously
because I know more pain waits for me 


Details | Free verse | |

Listen -part 1-

8/11/12
----------------------------------------------------------

There is a small soul within every crowd A soft voice against the senile bickering of the strong And the small souls wish they would listen Wish you would listen But the ears of the majority have been stuffed with pride The puffed up breads have come out of the oven And the oven closes on the non-finished They were never finished The masterpiece was torn They ripped off its horn as they lavished in greed Letting the soul bleed in the cruel wreck of silent despair As they laugh knowingly and unmercifully And I am left to listen to the blood trickling, groveling at my feet I am left to the weak—the strong The purified—the gone I do not want to ruin everything by mending As everyone is breaking I am bending And my throat is constricted The air has caught wind of a little soul’s voice Begging for acceptance. . .for love For an ear that isn’t breaded with self-indulgence Crusted in disgust. . .drooping the damned I am transformed into an image of a god For this poor, sweet, ignored soul Lies are his god. . .listen to my words And rot Listen as it constricts you—as I inflict you It is better if I had never existed I will not be worshipped in this prison! You are everything to me and nothing And the cursed breads rise Sweet scents pour into your flaring nostrils Watering my sunset eyes And you see me watch as they turn their minds away A guide towards lies and sticky debris You follow the path not caring where it leads Hearing the voices that refuse to clear their ears And that therefore blind them In worry and fear I caress your tear and swallow Your words like a vacuum The disposable bag is always empty with dirt Like a hearse I drive your body away My blackness flaring My horn honking As everyone is staring. . .not wanting to know what I am carrying inside


Details | Rhyme | |

Complete Man

Prolog:   This poem is about how much you need to struggle to ‘survive’ as an accountable and matured man. Child demands what he desires and the man sacrifices his desire, to fulfill the child’s.  It’s funny how you would be made a king for a day, and then a ‘somebody’, or even a ‘nobody’? Moreover, as you grow up, linearly, the problems breed exponentially like bacteria. Yes, it is true that the assimilative power to bear the offsets increase as you grow up too and how we breathe with the mere hope that one’s integrity pays back at some point in life. These verses symbolize the seldom hidden pain as adolescents in antithesis to the trouble-free life of a kid. Being a four year old playing with crayons, it’s all about you and your own little world!  
 
The journey is tough, the journey is loathed,
The journey is necessary, the journey is promising
 
From learning to put on the bow-tie,
To responsibly having the handkerchief in your pocket,
From experiencing the toughest times
And still standing upright like a ship in a storm
Like never before,
Manhood, here comes, like a raging warrior,
Resilient in form, stronger than its former,
And kills your innocence; darkens your heart.
 
The journey is tough, the journey is loathed,
The journey is necessary, the journey is promising
 
Life slips by ‘unlived’ and under cut-throat competition
Little merry-time, patchy hangovers and a far-fetched ambition
In trying to enrich and reclassify his social status
Life is yet adventurous, travelling rough miles
Reshaping himself, constantly adopting new lifestyles,
Every so often, he needs a little time, damn-it
In the end, faith grows numb in breaking the habit
It’s flabbergasting dad, how you stood up on your feet
Such burden of liability on the shoulders, how can one keep?
 
Politics was detested, conspiracy unheard of.
But now only has become an essential strategy for survival
Pain only makes him stronger,
Thanks Kelly Clarkson; that makes our belief finer
And brings a hope of fresh revival
How true Darwin sayeth!
Fittest subsists, and the rest are extinct species.
However, gratitude to such reformation
The inception of adulthood, cognizance!
Teaches him to be & believe himself; thus push his limits farther
Only critical moments, binds his relationships sturdier
 
The journey is tough, the journey is loathed,
The journey is necessary, the journey is promising.
 
 
Inspired by : friends, fam, eminem, linkin park, my fellow poets, my world


Details | Free verse | |

Fears and Tears

Fears, tears, and loss so great.
Yet it didn’t have to be done.
A car swerved, then lost control.
Now other lives are gone.

Those around so severely hurt.
Live changes can’t be undone.
Memories, horror, perhaps more loss.
Life becomes so cruel for all.

All because one chose to drink, then drive.
A choice that didn’t have to become.
Now he will live… several not…
Forgiveness may never come…

As fears, tears, and more loss will travel with the one.


Details | Free verse | |

In Tragedy

I go unsatisfied 
I vacation in discomfort 
My heart will never be whole 
My soul will never be free 
I live in tragedy 
Every second agonizes me 
And I don’t know how to change it 
Or if I even can 
God, grant me serenity


Details | Rhyme | |

My Blood

I cry
 
Wet tears
 
As I lye
 
In my blood
 
 
 
Not tears of remorse
 
But tears of relief
 
Followed the wrong corse
 
All through my life
 
 
 
Awoke to constant fearfulness
 
For the horrid hours to come
 
Little sleep filled with insaneness
 
Replayed scenes of my existance
 
 
 
An actor just playing my part
 
In what some people call "life"
 
So with this knife's blade I start
 
The journey to end my tormented life
 
 
 
You may believe suicide is wrong or sinful
 
But don't judge what you don't understand
 
No suffering and no pain, to end it all
 
Release the poison as I lye in my blood


Details | Free verse | |

Desperation takes control

She's locked in silence and fear, behind that cold glass wall. She tries with all her might to not give into her darkest temptations. And grab that stealy cold blade, and watch as her blood comes pouring out. She lays in desperation waiting... For nothing. For everything. Her desperation takes over, begins to control her. She cries out in anguish. Let's it all flow out. Tears, Blood, Love, Family, Her Life. It all comes out in one swift motion of her best friend. Her razor blade. She closes her eyes and clenches her teath. Wishes it would all go away, but she knows there's not such thing. Grew up wanting to die, it was so hard. Wishing she could be normal like everyone else. All she wanted is not to be locked in a box full of emotions. Blood flows down her arm and all she hears is her silent sobs. Watches her life pass infront of her. She fades in and out. Laying in her pool of desperate, worthless blood. One more breath, those last words. I love you mom and dad.


Details | Free verse | |

Winter loose

I shiver
as I look back over the months.
I balk at the thoughts
that run through my mind.
It is not cold outside
but an icy wall built within.
The music from the speakers ache with my melody.
The old questions again:
how do I measure and see?
It is not fresh in my home
but a chill wind crept in.
A cloud of living creatures darkens the eve.
A doubt rises from the hidden fertile depths.
It is not bracing on the street,
I walk swiftly by.
Your breath the wind of the south.
Your words warm but from the desert.
It is not arctic in thy heart
but I dare not go in.


Details | Rhyme | |

Who Am I

“You stupid, worthless piece of s***!
I can’t stand you, you dumb ass b****!”
Knocking me down with every syllable
As you drag me from the dining room table
Grabbed by my hair, my scalp is on fire
Thinking of when I smiled, now I’m a crier
You punch my face as if you hate me
Using your words to constantly berate me
I fight back but it’s of no use
I’m too weak against your abuse
Choking me, I feel light-headed
On my neck, his handprints are embedded
His eyes bloodshot, consumed with evil
His words, once loving, are now quite lethal
Brutally pounding at my self-esteem
Happiness seems to have only been a dream
What has happened? What did I do?
Why am I treated like s*** on your shoe?
I have gone above and beyond for you
My love for you has been loyal and true
Everything I do seems to provoke you
So on edge that I can’t even joke with you
Once strong and confident, I am now very meek
Unsure and afraid on when I should speak
I don’t even know the person I am anymore
She has withered away down to the core
I need to find her again for she has value
And leave your ass alone because it’s long overdue.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

These pictures are timeline of my life
I study them for hours, days
Trying to find the point where I got so lost

I never noticed untill now how truely lost I was
Its harder now to think of not being lost
Wishing I knew how to find myself

What kind of life am I living 
Not even knowing myself
Where can I find this person buried inside of me 

She screams inside of my mind
Wanting to be set free
But she is also hidding

So scared of the world
Knowing the shape of her heart
Broken and laying on the floor, bloody, barely beating

I want so badly to pull her out 
Show her to the world
But more so I wish to protect her

We are lost in this body
Always searching for each other 
Secreatly hoping to never be found


Details | Rhyme | |

My Words Only Destroy

No one is here
No one is there
They all left and deserted me
Their taunts and torments I cannot flee
And I become so full of anger and hate
Now whenever anyone good tries to help
My words only destroy
Consuming all life, burning all joy
My angry heart burns
Pent up emotions yearn
For freedom, for light, for a friend
But all are gone…gone in the end
Tears burn my eyes
No one caring-no goodbyes
They’re just gone
Gone
And any good that may have been around
Is now buried in the ground

Then she comes one by
Slowly, almost unnoticeable like a fly
She slips in, laid back and full of hope
Want to help, give a way to cope
She’s so quiet and coy
But my words only destroy
My anger controlling me
I just want to be free
And I feel terribly sorry for my venomous bite
You only try to help-not fight
I want to believe in you
I really do
But in reality I am too afraid
I fear that I am too far lost in hate for your aid
But still you try
Even after I make you cry
Everything lacking joy
And my words only destroy

How do I know…you will stick around in the end
Be the one who is a true friend
I do know
I know
Because you have told me so
And I will believe in you
And do all I need to do
To change this shattering, decomposing angry heart
Change my view, get a fresh start
And maybe one day I will no longer hurt you
And I’ll be able to show you
Just how much you mean to me
If I can make it, get away from this hate and be free
But doubt clouds my thoughts
Hoping is it worth the pain
Waiting for this healing rain
My words continue to destroy
It will never change…I will never change…only destroy
Only destroy


Details | I do not know? | |

A Hollow Shell

a hollow shell
of tangled synapses
sparked into gradual madness
which drowns out the truths of the day
as the mind reeks of the rotten sad moments
that swirl in the rancid soup of forgotten dreams
dreams that once traced a gentle path of innocence
dreams that reached for pure love’s tender touch
dreams now paralysed but once vivaciously alive
what became of those fresh dreams and hopes
as they lie mustily on dusty bookshelves
torn into shreds by time’s fine scimitar
devoid of the touch of raw passion
when all that remains of love is
a hollow shell


Details | ABC | |

Fear is how he made you

You hold your side 
Because if you don't you know you will just fall apart 
Honesty, does nothing. Might as well lied 
You breathe deep to fill the empty space 
A place where hope should be 
But there's not a single trace 
You run to the space in your mind 
That's meant purely to hide 
You will never have a home 
Words just to make you cry 
The cold can't touch you 
Because the fear has already consumed you 
Fear you thought you could hide 
The pain you thought the world was bind too 
The hardest thing to know 
Is that your suffering is shown 
That those around you see you dying 
They reach out there arms 
But your not trying to get help 
You can do it alone
What's one more punch 
What's one more burse  
Or one more tear 
It makes you stronger 
Your just standing to close for it to be clear 
Enough is enough and you can't go one more day 
With a family of broken trust 
But your legs won't work and you clasp 
There's no more fight in you
There's nothing left to do 
You cry out to the heavens 
Screaming your sorry for everything you did 
And everything you didn't mean to do 
You know it's not your fault 
But it doesn't matter, His wrath is unwavering 
He didn't do it so it must be you. 
He tells you when the world blows up, it was simple to kill you 
Fear is something you learned at a young age 
Something that's stronger then love and stronger then rage 
Fear of losing everything he let you have 
You can wish and you can pray 
But one simply fact still remains 
He own you every day until breath leaves your body 
For fear and pain 
Is all that's left 
Because that's all he made


Details | Rhyme | |

When I Needed Someone You Weren't There

When I Needed Someone… You Weren’t There! When I needed someone the most. You wouldn’t listen. You said; “There’s too many things in life I don’t want to be missin.’” When I knocked on your door. And asked you to pray… You said; “don’t bother me!” “Just go away!” When I was going through a hard time. I called your home. You really got upset. And hung up the phone! When I was at a very low point of much discouragement. Not once… Did you offer any kind of encouragement! I’ve thought about everything that has been said. At times, I wonder if I “was better off dead.” It’s almost like you wish “I wasn’t there at all.” You never talk to me. Or give a call. Should I attempt to call on the same Jesus, you claim to know? Would he listen to me… Or simply tell me to GO??? If I make an attempt to call on his name… Would he get upset like you? And complain? What do you suggest that I do? Especially that I don’t really have anyone else to turn to… Will Jesus turn his back on me… The way you did? Without any hope or meaning… I have no reason to live. I think I’m going to take the time, and ask Jesus to come in… Perhaps this is the way that I can really find a FRIEND! By Jim Pemberton 11/03/11


Details | Free verse | |