She showed me the clouds
and how to walk on the ninth one. A dreamer.
In the absoluteness of her mind, no barriers
exist within existence
as if her battles have
been won. I think she craves to fly,
past those clouds---another possibility
to make possible, a challenge
to challenge. Or dream about.
She probably thinks that when I complain
I cannot see the clouds,
the way she did when things got rough
in life. Of course, I beg to differ.
She dreams. I live. I don't
keep my eyes on clouds all day
as if there is nothing else to see
to make me understand the world better.
I suppose I'll rest one day, exhausted
by the what-ifs and whys, while Mama smiles
and points upward.
How could you leave your loving bride?
Cut down in youth, still in your prime
Your rare blood disease appeared suddenly
Just four years of bliss till you were taken from me
When first I saw your face, those blue eyes stunned
So many adored you, but your kind heart I won
Just by showing you love and sharing our joy
Even my mama worshiped my special, sweet boy
Death seems to take the finest too soon
Their faces smile in stars embracing the moon
One day we shall be reunited, my love
Until then, I search for comfort in night sky above
Comfort comes quickly when his spirit visits
I see his eyes twinkling, how could I miss it
Whenever I pull a fresh fish from the sea
A worthy fisherman, John would be pleased
When I'm feeling down I need only resurrect
Precious memories of John I cherish and protect
*John was my beloved husband. Elegy in honor of Dr. Ram's contest.
Light splashes in the eyes and vibrate
My heart to a rich ecstatic state
Joy is the only bird in the leaden sky
Calling the winds to choir on high
And I in the crystal world spin and spin
Till shards of snow caress the face
Like a pillow from scraps of watery tin
And all green and all colors erased.
Cast back the old belief of isolation
Of wintry purgatory and grief, jubilation
Is a white sheet of innocence here
The sinner like a diamond in the air
Frost symbol of death, and Lewis hopelessness
Shall not sing my song without regret
I take a different motif for my symbolic crest
The beginning of the pain I now forget.
Let Persephone sleep, my Yalda is here
The white breast of her flesh my pear
And I a child in a new womb of innocence
Drink of pure light and devote my sense
To leaps of faith from promise to spring
The eternal moment when season shall keep
Ivory joys before the bright immortal king
Just like a seed of winter vacating sleep.
In youth we shared a breath of time
I cherish yet today.
The plans we made for life ahead
Would soon be underway.
The dreams we shared, those lofty dreams,
Were all within our reach;
As we both planned to sail away
To learn what time could teach.
Then time took on a quickened pace,
It hastened more and more.
Our hopes and dreams became the wings
To lift our hearts and soar.
When they took flight they carried us
Away from all we knew,
And in a fleeting breath of time
I sailed away from you.
I drifted aimless out to sea,
Alone and cast aside,
While everything I’d ever known
Was swallowed by the tide.
I rode the waves, withstood the storms
And cursed the loathsome cost.
I thought I’d wander evermore
Without the love I lost.
Then time allowed another chance
That cold and stormy night,
When I returned to captured scenes
Of whence we first took flight.
To see us there, embraced by time,
In moments fond and dear,
Rekindled embers of the bond
That haunted me each year.
We cannot know the yet to be,
The yesterdays slipped by;
But we can grow in love and hope
And by our faith we’ll fly.
So take my hand and join me now,
Let’s learn what God has willed;
For in this fleeting breath of time
Our dreams can be fulfilled.
You will never fade from my heart, dear friend
Though my words to you are now heaven sent
For eighteen years you brought joy to my life
And so many times you erased my strife
When the world outside seemed so harsh and mean
You wiped my slate clean, changed the scene
Showed me that love could exist without pain
Or sexual desires, personal gain
Together we clung as a sweet friend died
You offered love as she suffered and cried
The peace you added to her life I shared
Because I had someone who truly cared
Just wanted to make things right for others
You were my soul mate, my spiritual brother
You came to me when you learned you’d soon die
I held you so close; in my arms you cried
But it wasn’t for yourself these tears were shed
You worried for me, hanging by a thread
I watched you pass from this world to the next
In your last hours you said you felt blessed
Your faith was so strong that you had no fear
Your belief in eternal life was clear
I look to the skies now, call out your name
And in my life you will always remain
A beacon of hope that still casts its light
Your presence surrounds me, its force so bright
I’m so grateful you saw something in me
That made you my friend for eternity
*Entry for the Ode to a Friend contest
Dedicated to Chris Codd, my dear friend who died Christmas Day, 2005
If I had to paint a picture of me loving God what would I see?
would I see a portrait of a person who walks in truth and honesty?
In order to paint a picture of me loving God
I would have to access all the experiences that to me life did impart
did I have a good relationship with my mom and my dad?
was it loving and supportive or distant and sad?
did I get along with my siblings? did we look out for each other?
did we play and love each other like true sisters and brothers?
were my needs being meet? did I ever learn to trust and believe?
am I balanced enough to cope according to the lessons in life I've received?
Multi-generational, familial or systemic social receptions
all of this has played a part in my life perceptions
we all have distortions in every aspect of our living
we now must deal with the reality at this time we've been given
was my life exactly as I remember? or are there things that I've repressed?
are there issues that are buried inside me that now make me depressed?
deep-seated anxiety, personal pain and high expectations
feelings of inadequacy, destructive criticism and bouts of frustration
we all have issues that we now need to bring out and discuss
in order to have authentic relationships we need to have real trust
we all have some brokenness that needs to be healed
so that our full love for the Lord God can one day be revealed
God is not distant like a CEO in the corporate tower
God is not pressuring us with His omnipotent power
God does not keep score He just watches over our souls
God is fair and just and doesn't set for us high goals
God is all embracing He nurtures, instructs and forgives
He's kind, patient and loving in this life to us He did give
So if I had to paint a picture of what it looks like for me to love God
it would be a colorful canvas of emotions, perceptions and reflections from my heart
FIRE IS COMING!
FIRE IS COMING!
GET PREPARED,THE BRIDE GROOM IS COMING
THE BRIDE GROOM IS COMING
FIRE IS COMING!
THE TRUMPET SHALL SOUND
GOD CHOSE THE LIGHT'S HE HAVE FOUND
THOSE WHO ENDURED THIS LIFE SHALL BE CROWNED
FOR THE DISOBEDIENT WILL BE LEFT BEHIND
TAKEN CAPTIVE BY THE ENEMIES MIND
ALTHOUGH,FEW SHALL REMAIN
HIS MERCY STILL REMAINS THE SAME
A REMNANT STRONG ENOUGH TO ENDURE
SATAN'S ATTACK OF HIS FILTHY LUCRE
Once, when my soul cried out in mournful pain;
I believed the Spirit, with me, wept.
When I felt that life was all in vain,
He lifted me from the drowning depth.
Now when flowing tears upon me fall,
and all seems hopeless in this life;
Does He hear my constant wailing call,
when I feel grief’s merciless cutting knife?
Where is my God when I need Him so,
when my soul is wounded and torn apart?
The One Who promised to never forsake nor leave,
does He see me here with bleeding heart?
Like the lonesome howling coyote, my soul does cry
in vain, it seems for peaceful relief.
And as the unfolding years go by,
will I forever be haunted with relentless grief?
Will there be answers which I will someday find?
Will my feet ever be back on the ground?
Unanswered questions riddle my weary mind,
as I feel and see the misery all around.
I was one of faith and considered strong,
but now am weak and a pitiful creature.
What I have become, I have pondered long;
and realize my need of the One True Teacher.
Once again, my howling, mournful wail cries out;
“Oh, God, my Master, hear my plea.
We need Your help, without one single doubt.
We beg for strength to set all pain free...”
Family, the enemy of our souls wants us to believe
The lie that we are alone
He wants us to believe
That we are treading hopeless road
But the cloud witnesses who urge us on
Tell us another story
The road we tread with light and beauty and fellowship
My friends, we are never alone
Note: Giving good orderly direction.... " Give A little Obama Love "
To-day is a New Day
Time for people to Pray
If their were No Unity
Where would we be to-day?
Why is it..
That all of 'GOD' People
War Torn Today..
With nothing going on
With nothing to speak of..
So little to say!
So, looking back on Reflection
In a more Democratic Way
Let's give the Future back
To the Children
- And -
Let Jesus lead the way
So, Why not give them Love
Show them another way
Remember that Obama Care
Is a Health Care which is
Oh! so very rare..
It could really save the Day?
Do you know a better way?
It is meant for people with
Not for those...
Who just don't care!
For it is just an annoyance
Who really need Insurance?
So, if you have Insurance
And that is all that really
Matter to you...
Remember that their are
Men, Women and Children
Who needs' a plan too...?
For the Obama Plan is high
And Gods' People are too...
Note: Remember that if you need a Health Plan
then we need one too...