I sit alone and I think of you, hoping you can hear me
If I close my eyes just before I sleep, I can see you more clearly
Even where I am now, where everything is dark
I can feel you here beside me, gently tugging at my heart!
Anxiously, I wait to hear a precious word or two
Something to let me know you feel me as much as I feel you
I take the blame and apologize for these nights I have denied you;
But this gives me time to love your mind before I lay beside you!
Let me take away your pain; wipe away your tears and guide you
Let’s make love by pen and paper before I meld with you
I hope my words don’t sound too strong but passion has no fear
Each breath I breathe like ecstasy that has built up during this year!
There is no cure for what I feel it’s just the pain that ails me
All prescription meds from the medical doctors have failed me;
And I know this is a lot to take in but I mean each word sincerely
This hungry letter sent with love and passion hoping you can feel me!
Note: Written for Audrey Carey's Sentimental Love Letters" Contest
"This is dedicated to all who understand this. Whether we like it or not." -D.J.E.
I wasn’t gonna write this
Emotions are stirring high
How much time has passed
Still feel your presence
Of the slowest death
To these present seconds
An ugly revelation
Tainted the sunshine
That bared on our souls
365 days ago
So many tears
Had filled the ocean
For love’s river
Were held back by presumption’s walls
The dam’s of what could have been
Here I stand
In this present moment
Your essence still lingers
Like the flakes of a dandelion b r e a k i n g f r e e
From its home
Tormented echoes of “why”
“Please don’t go”
“I love you…I love you so much”
High pitched resonations
Rafts of secondary importance
This heart still knows
For it will always recall
Played me a fool
While you held hands
Across my shoulders
Left me uncomfortably numb
All my rights
And all the while
My foolish hopes
Continued to warp my mind
Maybe if I didn’t look back when you walked away
Like the rules said…
These soft acoustic riffs
Replay in my head
You were my “Wonderwall”
“You could’ve been the one…to save me”
But I overcame
Didn’t want to be an inconvenience for you
Colors of Fall
Your favorite season
You were like Summer & Winter
Knew when to turn up the heat
Make me sweat
Each new arrival
A summer equinox
But, when it was over
Nothing but cold
Even solace’s bandages
Could not heal
But, I weathered the storm
And would do it again
Cause it was for real
Here I am
52 weeks have past
Of that hourglass
With no more sands
Buried in dragon’s chest
You are in my silent prayer
Even though you are contained
Within my heart’s asylum cell block home
I loved you
With all that I had
That you will be the only regret
I will ever be proud of.
© Drake J. Eszes
You didn’t notice my tears.
As you both kissed each other
like two lonely plungers
who just escaped from plumber’s solitary confinement,
your eyes open and wander up.
You didn’t look across that banquet hall
with my feet planted against wood polished tendencies.
Its creaks motioning time towards yellow-signal identity.
As my breath declares sudden death
against lake’s dripping reflections…
…you didn’t think to set your photo album on private.
wrapped in pretentious cloak
sewed in recycled fibers of “love”.
With ignorant enablers speaking chic-flick tongue,
“Oh My Gawd! I’m so happy for you! I wanna ovulate!”
As I, put my head down
returning to this moment in time,
I had to let my song…cry.
Lenny Williams begins to exude “cause I love you” chorus,
as I walk towards bar
sensing your seductive retinas
stroking against my Latin swagger.
Your ring finger
chained by 3 carat, naïve cut, diamond
motions an intense, streaking caress
against wine glass filled with Zinfandel sin.
Because you know I am your addiction.
Your diabetic lips never forgot
But, you didn’t notice my tears.
I wish you had.
For all this time, these tears
were of joyful splendor.
Because solace holds my hand
with candlelight warmth.
Slow dancing with my soul
in mystery Salsa sway.
While you stand on home plate,
holding your 2nd place trophy,
with 3 strikes against you.
A reminder that my heart,
was flexible enough
© Drake J. Eszes
Tell me that this fear is just paranoia in my mind,
we're not straining, we're not struggling,
we're not sinking, we're just fine.
I'm not perfect my dearest, but damn have I tried,
and I'll try harder but I know I'll have the same results every time.
Do you want me all the ways that I am?
With all the struggles and the tears and the clinging to your hand.
I fear your getting further and Im left on the shore to stand,
watching you in the distance with a bullet in my hand.
Tell me all this worry, its just clutter in my mind,
tell me not to worry that we're doing just fine.
Cause Im scared to run you off and I feel Im falling deep.
And Im so frightened of these thoughts that its getting hard to sleep.
All I know is that the heart wants what it desires,
because of you the match inside has turned into a fire.
And I feel the broken glass thats sticking from my skin,
Wondering if you'll remove the pain or push it back in.
My hearts frantic wondering if you feel the same,
pleading and begging for more than just a saying,
but to feel and to see that im not alone,
with being in this love thats overwhelming.
Once I told you that we didnt have a spark,
but you were lighting up and I was sitting in the dark.
And this fire, this blaze its wrapped in desire.
Im terrified to lose you, I think I might die or,
maybe disappear from all the pieces falling out,
im going crazy but when i open my mouth, nothing comes out,
and I cant explain to you why I just need to hold you close,
why every time you leave Im scared to let you go,
why these tears are building up behind my eyes,
all I know is that the heart wants what it desires
and it desires to be your wife.
So tell me in my panic, that your words are true,
tell my my dearest what I mean to you,
tell me that this paranoia is all within my mind
we're not struggling, we're not sinking tell me we're just fine
What makes the decision
To flick the switch
To end ones life
For the sake of it
Bullied at school
Fork in the road
To let death rule
Daughters and sons
What ever affects them
They just can't outrun
Sadness and tears
By all left behind
Will they ever understand
The first time I saw you, there was a glow about you
that baffle me. I-I just could not find the right word,
"you had that certain glow about you". Not the way you walk
nor the way you move, "but I believe in miracle's", yes
I do - yes I do. So finally I step to you and ask, would you,
could you smile ? just for the camara in my mind so that the
image of an Angel would be on my mind just in case the world
ended (today) much to soon, much before time. The first time
I saw you naked Angela, my mouth got lost for words-but the one
that slip through my lip's were (mmmunn) "what a gorcious women,
breast like lucious melons", and a voice (sweet) like that of the ocean
and wave's of heat and my idea of nerviousness brings trembeling to
"I do believe in miracle's", "I do not believe in love". Miracle's that it
take to sustain a relationship that the odd's of longivity are against us.
And we do become desponded, most of our day is spent fussing and cussing.
Never to see true love at its best. The first time our lip's did touch, I remem-
ber this Angel who I call Angela, she had my name tattoe across her chest.
Love, became the missing attraction, and you comfort me in my desire to ex
press myself, for I thought I was so macho, never in a thousand years, "will I
meet such a someone (?) that's such a women". A women (aaaah) such a
women, "from her head to her shoe".
Now Angela just in case the world ends tomorrow. Don't denie that there's an
"attraction". O'Angela.....kiss me quickly, "In the heat of Passion".
I wonder why
It's always so strange
and not just strange
but almost a gulp and a choke
even at a letter's close?
Just 'love' is not so hard
It's the YOU
"I (gulp choke!) love YOU"
I can say it silently in my mind
but! face to face
over the phone?
YOU is so personal
Like inserting your tongue when kissing good night
Like accidentally brushing
under the table
"I love YOU" starts all sorts of mild even WILD ideas forming
I am demented
With some it drops off the tongue
as easily as saying "Hi"
I wonder though?
What's back of those eyes
When his wife says to me
When this happens
I always screw up - look at her husband
"Love you too"
I went to the sun for a favor
and asked it to shine only for you
to grant you happiness though you may be sad
bright yellow 'midst so much blue
but when the day decides to end
and the sun sinks and goes away
I give you the moon as a reminder
that my love will never fade
though i can't tell you how much I love you right now
and I can't show you what's in my heart
i hope when you look at the sun and moon
you'll realize we aren't that far apart
It will hurt like a tattoo guns sting
as the ink infiltrates your skin.
Your first love will be like a tattoo on your heart,
always remembering the blessings and pain he gave you.
Be with a person who fills you with fluttering hummingbirds
even after the first and second and tenth kiss
who drinks the nectar of your demons and sucks them lifeless.
There will be men who you think will carry you forever
but after so long of holding
your feet above the water
they will throw you down.
They will not reach out a hand to pick you back up.
They will turn cheek,
kissless and forgotton.
You will stand with dirt palms
and fall back into his inferno.
There will be loves like this,
who convince you to prick yourself with safety pins,
the ones who carry guns on their backs
but never shoot to protect,
only to hurt.
The ones who drink all the water,
leave you parched in the desert of his mistakes
telling you that they are your own.
The ones who shoot arrows in your lungs
and you lye bleeding
believing that the color of your blood is true love for him.
The hour hand will spin around the clock
too many times before you leave him.
It will hurt.
You thought it was true,
but after the death of it
you will realize you deserve someone so much sweeter
than a bitter apple.
Love the one who doesn’t cheat you blind,
but instead comes to you with truths in his wretched palms
and waits for you to
but never gives up and never stops wishing that the past could rewind
that he could change the things wrong that he did to you.
Love the one who feeds your heart warm apple pie,
who cries in front of your children,
who drives them to school and hugs them when they get home.
Be with someone who doesn’t ask for you to change
but instead loves your mistakes
cradles them within his fabric lungs
breathes them in with a grin.
Love is an interesting thing.
You will be thrown out of a moving car to the side of the road.
Some will come running back to you.
Don’t jump back in the front seat,
until you find someone who buckles the seat belt for you.
Drives five under the speed limit,
takes things slowly and waits for you to be ready to accelerate.
I am here for you.
Remember me, the one who loved you first,
the one who will never stop loving you.
Come to me after he breaks up with you.
You can cry on my shoulder,
and ill wipe your tears with my sleeve.
Find a love who loves you the way
that your father and I love you,
the way that your grandmother loves you.
Find a love who already considers you family.
Who meets you
and looks into your ocean eyes
and drowns peacefully into your heart.
. True love
I love the way you make me love you
Love the way you step my heart on the ground.
When you walk into the room
I love the way you do not even look at me.
You take my breath away
With all the words you say,
I fell in love with you more
The day you walked out the door.
I love how strong you became
I love the way you always hang up the phone.
I can't get enough of you
When you want me out of your face.
True love came to me all of a sudden
When you dumped me in our special place.
I take my self back into your arms,
only when I am asleep.
I know I brought your heart a little harm.
Now the boat has turned making my love weep.
You do not bother with my charm
All you do is give me the cold shoulder.
In my book of love, you will get over it soon
In the mean time you are my true love
No matter if I have to do it all by myself.
Until than I will not give you the pleasure
Of forgetting what you gave up.
Stop teaching me the lesson of pay back
Stop playing hard to get,
My one and only TRUE LOVE