Andrea lives in a city
In which every season is pretty!
But on a bad snow day,
She drives on the freeway
And curses because it’s so %#itty. (small edit for the kiddies)
**on our Utah license plates it says
"The Greatest Snow on Earth" (yeah, right)
For PD's Contest
(After I posted this, I realized, gosh, the title
really does work because few things are as
slick as a Utah road in winter.)
RIPAE BENI DEAU VER
In modus fasciculumque Brady pus.
Rogationes, confractum egemus.
Ripa nostra, sus amica,
Sic superbum precum, pape beatus.
The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand moves in mysterious ways. Just ignore him.
The dwarf told Snow White from his heart,
“If you wish to stay here, please don’t fart.”
Our objective is to always please,
But we need to mount you on your knees.
If you think we’re coming on to fast,
it’s just because we like your ass.
And maybe with a bit of luck,
You’ll agree to just a little ---k.
If you just want to sleep and sit,
The at least show us a little tit.
We dwarfs are a very horney sort,
So please Snow White, be a sport.
Dwarfs only have tiny boners,
which is why we tend to be such loners.
We’re to little to pop your cherry,
so you’ll still have it when you marry.
We pledge to you on the name of Merlin,
Your Prince Charming will still have his virgin.
So Snow White, what do you say?
Be a sport and let us play.
There once was a girl named Snow White,
Of a poisoned apple she took a bite.
Seven dwarves found her sleeping,
And they began weeping.
Who would fix their supper tonight?
Only one thing could save this fair miss,
A prince must give her a kiss.
There was no time to waste,
So the dwarves they made haste,
To find a prince for their miss.
A prince showed up the next day,
And the dwarves they did not delay.
They showed him Snow White,
Told him of her plight,
Then said, "Kiss her, then be on your way."
The prince gazed down on her face,
And his heart started to race.
What a beautiful maid,
Yes, she must be saved!
To refuse would be a disgrace.
He bent and kissed her awake.
One kiss was all it did take.
They stared at each other,
The dwarves said, "Oh brother!"
"We may have made a mistake."
To the prince they said, "Listen here!"
"We want to be perfectly clear."
"Snow White belongs to us,
So don't raise a fuss,
Or you'll get a swift kick in the rear!"
Snow White was quick to object.
"Now boys, let's show some respect.
The prince saved my life,
And I'll gladly be his wife.
What else could you possibly expect?"
The prince said, "Hey, don't worry guys.
You won't have to say your good-byes.
You can live in the castle,
It won't be a hassle.
Cross my heart, I'm telling no lies."
So Snow White and her prince tied the knot,
And they honey-mooned on a great yacht.
The dwarves stayed behind
And at the castle they dined.
All in all they were pleased with their lot.
Tried abstaining but my morals shifted
I observed that my curves were God-gifted
Hey, it ain't that complex
It all boils down to sex
I used to be Snow White but I drifted
Author: Mae West - One of the first liberated ladies
Quote: "I used to be Snow White but I drifted"
The new-fallen snow looks so lush
As it silences us with a hush;
But the tires and the boots
Seem to be in cahoots
Turning all of that beauty to slush!
Snow White was indeed a hot chick
Who really liked to have her apple licked
That’s why she chose seven
To take her to heaven
And that’s how she really got her kicks
(I had to keep this one clean)