Ole Les set out by kayak from the shore
Big blue marlin rose from the ocean floor
Nipped his bait, gave Les a tow
Water-logged craft sank below
Friends shook their heads and said, "No Les, no more"
Written for John Freeman's "Fishing" limerick contest
Okay, the man's name wasn't Les ,but this video shows two kayaks being towed 11
miles by marlins. I took a little poetic license with the ending too. Both men
survived. If you fish you will be amazed by this video:
I watched the sailfish spring from the sea
Had no wings, an enigma to me
Why in flight did it embark?
Pursuit by a great white shark
Its sail would soon be an amputee
Who be th' stenchin' verminous Horsman
what hollers t' th' seafarin' oarsmen
when th' mind's a-fog
where we fest th' grog
why be d'mandin' pennin's of bay men
***All errors are intentional and used merely to facilitate pirate speak.
Out apon the sea.
Its hard to catch some relife.
Or find some time to set willy free.
It's a priates life no need to back your
Just grab a pint.
When in port avoid the sea hags.
Swab the decks and please if
ya gotta puke lean over the side.
Be a good little sea bandit
or you'll be learning were Davey Jones does
We got fish for breakfest supper and lunch.
Can somone please help the captain.
ya know with a hook for a hand its easy to
get your pants in a bunch.
I gotta walk the plank again ?
Hey it's really rude sticking me with that knife.
It sure would be nice if we put this ship in the water.
Do more than drinking and dreaming of the pirates life.
I really dont trust a captian with a poodle.
It really gets old being harrased.
And cleaning up fee fee's doodle
Dont let Larry steer.
After the tenth time it gets old.
running a ground to go fetch a beer.
No sir I dont belive we'll run into the loch ness monster
off the jersey shore.
No I dont belive the worlds flat.
And I dont care if the five year old first mate swore.
The crows nesk is a perfect place to hide from your
Were heading the wrong way check the gps.
Yes I really cant take this pirates life.
Yes captian I really doubt A mermaid stole
all the rum.
What's the catch of the day?
Sea monster sure I'll have some.
The captian is crabby and it's time for the
first mates nap.
The cook isnt crying cause he's choppin onions
Its cause he finished the briges of Madison County
yes he's a bit of a sap.
It's probaly not best to duel with a butter knife.
As we set sail yes mam we''ll have the first mate
back befor sundown.
It's kinda messed up living this modern pirates life.
The face of the ocean seemed to smile
All was calm and quiet for a while
‘Till Wind’s temper was lost
With waves forcefully tossed
In her wrathful cantankerous style
*For Carolyn Devonshire's Sea Tale Limericks contest
This is the only Limerick I have ever written...so it was a bit of
I once enjoyed a movie on a shark.
His bite much bigger than a dogs bark.
In the ocean JAWS scared more than fish.
A bite so deep no one could stitch.
With teeth so sharp, always leaving a mark..
FIRST LIMERICK EVER ...
The fishing of Scotland's coast
To be honest I have to boast
Please come take a look
And dangle your hook
And join me in traditional toast
My favourite place is called Dunnet Head
With many species it has to be said
One just dangles their line
Hey presto! see what you find
It's a bite, not the weight of your lead
But sadly there has been some stinkers
When the fish must have been thinkers
For many times we did try
In us they espied
Wasting our time dropping our sinkers
Oh, vermicelli, rigatoni!
Lost on a sea of minestrone.
The sea beneath my feet,
And nothing else to eat,
I live on cheese and macaroni.
Scuba diving, oh! what a dream
In the Gulf, amidst the Sardines
With a Florida blond
Whom I've grown to be fond
It's dark, is it all that it seems
Our dive is going oh! so super
Boo! said the nosey big Grouper
Och! do you have to be mean
To these little Sardines
Your just a big party pooper
Told of he goes in a mood
Just like a big bully should
Hey! next time take better care
To these Sardines you did scare
It's impolite, and you've been oh! so rude
There once was a crab in the sea
who always wanted to be
a lobster you know
so he had to grow
a tail almost as long as he.
..... ooops, Carolyn's contest is gone .... I missed it ....
When the call of the Lord came to Jonah,
“set out for the great land of Nineveh!”
he was angry inside,
and decided to hide,
on a Tarshish bound ship leaving Joppa.
Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea,
ne’er a more violent storm could there be,
there on destiny’s brink,
the ship threatened to sink,
while, old Jonah, was below deck asleep.
Surely, each sailor’s heart fainted with fear,
as the ship they were unable to steer.
“Wake up, Jonah!” they cried,
“get thee quickly topside,
and fervently beg your God to draw near!”
Now, Jonah knew that this storm was for him,
as in his heart he remembered his sin,
he thought he was sunk,
when they gave him the dunk,
and had to choose whether to sink or to swim.
As soon as Jonah met up with the ocean,
Both the winds and the waves ceased commotion,
then along came a whale,
and old Jonah grew pale,
as it swallowed him up in one motion!
Three long days in that big fish he stayed,
vowing never again would he stray,
relieved not to be dead,
and with kelp on his head,
onto dry land, our dear Jonah was sprayed!
Please, allow me, now this moral to mention,
that when the Lord God gives thee direction,
you must not delay,
set out right away,
His good judgment you must never question.
Should by chance, you hear God’s voice compelling,
“ head thee out to Bangladesh or New Delhi,”
best get on the right boat,
and pray that it floats,
lest you end up kelp covered and smelly!
The lawsuit by StarKist is valid.
Their long time promoter’s new ballad
warns fish to stay clear
of fisherman’s pier,
or end up in somebody’s salad!
There was a young man lived in Dover
And he was the son of a rover
He fell into the sea
Cause clumsy was he
A shark came and it was all over.
From a low, wind-swept bridge almost color beige,
I toss my fishing cane made in Anchorage,
hoping to catch some fish soon...
as I scorch in the hot noon;
if I failed again, it would increase my rage!
Life is pleasant on the Atlantic coast
Fishing is surely what I enjoy most
Songs of gulls surrounding me
Colorful shells line the sea
And of my exploits I feel I must boast
The breeze is refreshing as winds pick up
I cast out hoping for something to sup
Though the tides aren’t moving
I am always still grooving
Then with a smile I spy a fish close up
It’s just a tiny minnow swimming past
Oh yes, he’s small, but he might be the last
So I reach down with my net
He splashes and gets me wet
On a summer day I have chilled out fast
*Entry for Yasmin’s “Letting Your Hair Down” contest by Carolyn Devonshire. Written 6/19/2012
There once was a pirate named Jack,
Who struck with the devil a pact.
But when his accord
He could not afford
The devil took Jack and his pack!
The moral of Jack and his pack
Is clear: Give the devil No pact!
If you can't afford
To strike an accord
Hold fast what you have--not your lack!
I had all my equipment checked.
Everything was laid out on deck.
We were suited for game.
By the time drop off came
my nerves were totally a wreck.
I went down to the deep blue sea
to see what the sea would show me.
Got the scare of my life,
a fish big as my wife,
and the show in the sea was me.
Back on board I dared any to say
what went on in the sea that day.
Yes, my wife will attest.
She cleaned it her best,
but that suit, the smell won't go way.
May 25 2011 for Carolyn's contest
It's another year round the corner
That leaves this Highlander to ponder
It's New Year's Resolution time
What's in this boy's mind
Could it be to adventure out yonder
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
So where would this Highlander be
A captain on a yacht going to sea
With a beautiful blond
Sharing their literal fond
Round the coast of the land of the free
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
When sailing these oceans of blue
Just what would the pair of them do
Maybe some fishing
Or moonlight kissing
Whilst the seabirds fly over and go phew!
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Eventually we would have to hit land
And continue to go on as we planned
The head back out to sea
It's where were happy to be
Skinny dipping, loved up and so tanned
In History, Nelson fought the Spanish
This powerful Armada did vanish
My ancestor was in thrall
Kismet Hardy had a ball
No invasion, the infidels, banished
Limerick: Once an-Other Anchor-Woman at Sea Anne-Anne
Once an’ Anchor-Woman at Sea Anne-Anne
Slipped tongue into a Black Hole’s butt end
She came out Parallel
In multi-Verse pell-mell
Now she reads sweN at aeS (Ace) ennA-N*.
• For the general knowledge of readers of this limerick, humble clarifications are offered here. The capital letters: A, H, I, M, N, O, T, U, V, W, X, and Y are used without any visible change in the alphabet of our own Parallel Universe where – as everybody knows – Time regresses from Future to Past, i.e., e.g. say, from being “well-satiated” to being “hungry” and back forth. Here, even though “N” is written as “N”, the pronunciation is unwaveringly: “nE”. For more detailed explanations regarding the rules of prosody in our Parallel Uni-Verse, s’il vous plait, address your queries to Yours Truly at his address in Multi-Verse.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
There once was a gray shark called "Trouble"
He ordered his armchair X- double
A mermaid swam by
She smiled and said "Hi!"
He replied with a fragrant bubble...
Hemingway’s famous “Old Man and the Sea”
Simply couldn’t hold a candle to me
I caught Ahab’s great white whale
Did some surfing on his tail
Made him jump through hoops ‘fore I set him free
In Scotland I gave Nessie a big scare
As with my huge net, the beast I did snare
I held on as Nessie tugged
Then set her free as I shrugged
To tell the truth, Nessie hadn’t a prayer
And now I’ve set my sights on the Kraken
Oh yes, I’m more than a fishing bumpkin
And so for Norway I sail
To prove women aren’t frail
This giant squid is simply a munchkin
Written for Susan’s “Ridiculous Self-Exaggerations” contest
*Last line is the metaphor
There once was a whale named Wayne the Whale,
In his fin there was a rusty nail,
Then he met the crab named George,
Who got the nail out of it's gorge,
Wayne the Whale left with a flip of his tail.
Limerick : Once Anchor-Woman at Sea Anne-Anne
Once Anchor-Woman at Sea Anne-Anne
Pulled anchor, lost finger
Put in place cucumber
Now sucks lost finger to spew news ban.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
When I was just a little boy
Aged seven I had so much joy
In Commander Job I was so fond
He was Ian Fleming's James Bond
A war hero, he's the real McCoy
* When I was seven years old, I had the privilage of staying with
Patrick Dalzel-Job, feel free to copy and paste his link *
A Seagull Named Steve
This seagull flew by and sat a bit
Ordered tequila from a wine glass sipped.
Dressed in bright yellow
Such a delight social fellow,
Conversation made easy
In beach sands breezy.
A Jonathon Living indeed
Spreading his light giving sea diving seeds.
At first to me, a dive he did make
Up to the sun in restoration with me he did take.
In buttons of coco bean seed
I find my self hand in hand with he I need.
Washed away my blues
Into happiness hues
Of bright orange and yellow.
Across the ocean in search of loves notion
Conjured a passion sea foam potion
Potentate hurricane insane commotion.
But swirl in heavens bright blue skies
In the night full moon we did fly.
For a need for both fulfillment deep
Never to be forgotten not even in sleep.
As quickly he came this seagull named Steve
From no love forever to maybe make me believe.
But try I did truly beg him not to leave
My Jonathan Living seagull named Steve.
Yet he is gone to other seagull endeavors
Living his life among castles of pleasures.
He did not leave
For in my heart
He created I think
A new start.
Limerick: Once an Anchor Woman at Sea Anne-Anne
Once an Anchor Woman at Sea Anne-Anne
Interviewed OFPRA* doing Can-Can
She said: Will you?
OF said: You, too!
And they rowed off in a rude bed-pan.
• Office français pour la Protection des réfugiés
et d’apatrides (French Office for the Protection
of Refugees and Stateless Persons)
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
They paddled till we reached the shore
Where I set them free to explore
Then back to the sea
This sailor did flee
They’ll not paddle me anymore
There was once a buccaneer
They say he sailed the seas with fear.
Of his stories told
Of his bravery so bold,
For he went nowhere, for he could not steer.
Global warming--an idea that stinks
Sea water that's not in the sinks
you have permission
for carbon emission
But what if it's your land that shrinks?
Global warming--an idea that floats
Coast houses soon will be house boats
That pricey abode
Became a commode
Just inland roads transform to moats