On the fateful day before Halloween
Dressed as a vampire queen in green
I passed through the graveyard
With all my senses on guard
When I heard a rustling mean
In horror I turned around to see
Who had the audacity to scare me
Saw an old man bending low
Chiseling his name in a row
Looked to be a veteran escapee
I told him not to disturb the grave
When he started to turn and rave
His family didn’t spell him right
And he with his might
Had come out his name to engrave
(Madame is pronounced with accent on maDAME, the French way)
Near a hole in the wall, with no qualm,
Never seen, sits a frumpy Madame.
Using lotion, she works
Giving smooth strokes and jerks
With her fabulous and renowned palm.
By Andrea Dietrich
*This is the theme of a movie I saw on cable.
Its name is Irena Palm, the name a widow takes when
she goes to work at a club in order to make enough money
to allow her grandson the surgery he needs to save his
life. It's not a porno, but her "work" is a bit erotic yet discretely
portrayed. It got high marks from the critics. My writing this
was inspired by Deborah Guzzi's Limerick Contest and now
I enter it into Skat's contest!
Check it out: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0762110/
strange sounds hypnotize from an ARCADE
challenging me to a dual escapade
silver balls wait in line
for fingers to opine
female transforms to pinball wizard on parade.
STAR TREK is my machine of choice
listening to CAPTAIN KIRK'S commanding voice
ENTERPRISE flies at warp speed
as numbers calculate point feed
as a TREKKIE I win a la Royce.*
MORTAL COMBAT is a game of great skill
super bonus points mount as empty holes fill
in the end my name is on top of the hill.
STREET FIGHTER is quick, sharp and rough
knocking down opponents is so tough
when the flipper sinks the ball in
the bad dude shouts "a vul kin"*
aggravated, I cry out "had enough".
time to hang up my "wizard fingers" for another day
flashing lights show my name on display
leaving fantasy behind
know I'm "one of a kind"
pinball prima donna loves to play.
*Royce -haracter from older series
*A Vul Kin - foreign language meaning you're dead
*For Yasmin Khan's Video Games Contedt ..
There once was a man with the last name Butts
He really must have been nuts
When a son he did sire
This name he did conspire
Seymore was the name a decisive cut
Not an original idea...
Her name was Liza Jane Macnelly,
She loved Anchovies and jelly,
“She’s a wonderful girl,
said her boyfriend Earl,
But her breath is a little bit smelly”.
His name was Billy Joe Trevy,
He had no A/C in his Chevy,
“It’s such a nefarious pain” ,
said his girlfriend Jane,
Because he perspires a bit too heavy”.
But they both loved each other so well,
That they accepted each other’s smell,
The moral of the story here?
There is none, I fear.
They just simply …smell like hell !
In History, Nelson fought the Spanish
This powerful Armada did vanish
My ancestor was in thrall
Kismet Hardy had a ball
No invasion, the infidels, banished
Pickles dressed up in black eight inch heels
Tickles snuggled in flannel gown with toy eel
Pickles danced all night
To waning moonlight
Pickles home late tripped over eel took spill
There once was a beauty of whom I was fond
She lived a top secret life of the beau monde
Yet I felt despair
When she changed her hair
And presented herself as Blond, Jane Blond
I met a writer named, Richard Lime
Who wrote poems with only five lines
By swapping his name
He realized his fame
Thus inventing the Limerick rhyme
They called Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
Why'd they give that name to a little guy?
Georgie won't brush his teeth
And his breath smelled like feet,
That's why kissing the girls made them cry.
The name Georgie Porgie was not so hot
It's his parents who put him in this spot,
All his best friends are girls
He played with lace and pearls,
Every boy in town want to kick his butt.
So poor Georgie Porgie was on the run
To him kissing the girls was having fun,
That was until one day
A strange boy came to play,
Now Georgie's having fun with his new bun.