These Humorous Limerick poems are examples of Limerick poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Humorous Limerick poems written by international PoetrySoup poets
Sookie said (as she stood at the tee),
"Though this golfing is boring to me,
the odds can't be beat.
Of golfers I meet,
for each woman, the males number three!!"
*Note: Female golfers number fewer than 23% in this sport.
With the many doctors and lawyers that seem to enjoy this
activity, I can't help but think it would be a great place for a
single lady to meet rich men!
For the Golf Limerick Poetry Contest of Craig Cornish
I always wanted two slices of ice cube pie
“You only get one”, was the standard reply.
I don’t know why I did
But since I was a kid
It was my favorite treat on the Fourth of July.
The pastry is known by all our relations
Since the recipe’s passed down for generations.
Every bite you’ll savoir
But remember, don’t settle for imitations
Long ago, my great Aunt tried experiments
By leaving out one of the ingredients.
Once Uncle took a bite
He stared out in fright
And barely survived that bad experience.
My oldest son, Johnny became quite wise
He grew up like the others, before our eyes.
His passion for confection
Was a gainful connection
When he opened the first ice cube pie franchise.
Soon after that, we made our first million
And played in the sun with friendly Brazilians.
But to our surprise
We saw ice cube pies
On bamboo platters next to our pavilion
Right away we knew this was an infraction
Without delay our family took action.
We found a private eye
Who loved our ice pie
But his research left him broken in traction.
It was apparent to us that that kind of job
Was endorsed by the brutal ice cube pie mob.
But we didn’t frown
Or give up and back down
We were going to prevail; oh, yes siree, Bob!
With a meeting of minds we gathered resources
And then undersigned the following courses.
To make sure our ices
Sold at cut-rate prices
To knock competition off its high horses.
So back at the shop we assembled platoons
To build enough pies to reach to the moons.
And made plenty dough
That allowed us to mow
Down the cube racket’s, knuckle dragging goons.
We now manage an ice cube pie monopoly
Sales started smooth, but then turned choppily.
So we eased the frustration
With another vacation
But guess what we saw in downtown Mexicali?!
Caleb Smith, southern gent so refined,
has an interesting, humorous mind.
He not only can write,
but can farm, fish and fight,
and on critters he hunts he has dined!
Also clever at limericks is Tim.
He does footles for friends on a whim.
The bright bulb in his brain
comes on time and again.
May Tim Ryerson’s light never dim.
A third limerick writer, Mike Dailey,
has some fifty of them we can see!
Though I don’t know him well,
by his poems I can tell
that a doting grandfather is he.
There are oodles of limericks by Jack.
Sheer wit our dear Horne does not lack.
But his vampire obsession
can leave a gal guessin’. . .
Am I friends with a maniac?
In praise of the Duke I now sing.
All his poetry has that cool “ring” -
a limerick each one -
making Beauford- bar none -
The PoetrySoup limerick king!
*A SHOUT OUT also to five OTHER great limerick guys: Sean Kelly,
Charles Sides, Charles Clive, Harry Horsman, and Robert Hinshaw & Soupers,
Let me know of any other limerick guys out there I should know about!
For : Sandy Ivy D's Poem of Dedication Contest
Tapped messages go out direct
With phones it's an easy connect
Thoughts from a finger
In cyberspace linger
But touching's too much to expect
A pet more exotic I'd wanted.
A pet to be groomed and then flaunted.
Not a dog or a cat -
Something cooler than that!
I began my search feeling undaunted
In a pet store I came on a ferret.
Such a pain he was! How did I bear it?
Under doors and through cracks
He'd escape from me. AAAACH!!
So I traded him in for a parrot.
Well, the parrot just wanted to fly!
And that bird knew more bad words than I.
When he called me a whore,
I threw open the door:
“Now you’re getting your wish, Bird. BYE BYE!
A boa constrictor I bought,
He’d like to be cuddled, I thought,
But he wrapped and he squeezed,
As I gasped and I wheezed,
And offered the rat that I’d caught.
A bowl of piranha I won -
I played Baccarat with a nun -
And they wiggled their bums,
So I tickled their tums,
But bones ’stead of fingers aint fun.
My elderly aunt sent a text,
Suggesting tarantulas next,
But my spider alas,
Took a bite of my ass:
My pet-owning hobby is hexed.
I went to the pet shop, I swear,
But nothing I wanted was there -
To my pets I am prey,
So I went on eBay,
And purchased a big teddy bear.
For the "Grab a Partner" Contest. To see
who I collaborated with, read my comment
under the poem.
The incorrect usage of tense
And phrases of total nonsense
Wipe out brain status
With more apparatus
Than the Department of Defense
Mary Ann had a boyfriend that she
gave affection and great loyalty.
Since the age of sixteen
no one else had she seen
but she wanted more at thirty-three!
Her boyfriend, of course, had it made
since regularly, he would get laid.
So excuses he gave
when Mary Ann would rave
about marriage. . . and unwed they stayed.
Getting pregnant was her coup d'etat
when she said, “You will soon be a pa!”
She said, “Furthermore, Bruce,
I don’t need an excuse.
In my mind we’re a pair - common-law!”
For Black Eyed Susan's Excuses Poetry Contest
The concept of gays in a marriage
One side loves and one will disparage
But rule supreme court
And one side must retort
Justice just had a miscarriage
Author's note: Regardless of the outcome from the supreme court, I happen to favor gay marriage. There really is no other conclusion since we are a land of equal rights. We should do all we can to foster a society without discrimination. The arguments against these rights reveal a lot about certain people of religious persuasion. It would be comical if it were not so sad.
Limerick : Once a brave laddie at Lake Loch Ness
for one who calls no one "Monster"
when the truth may not be known:
Once a brave laddie at Lake Loch Ness
Kept vigil to catch Monster on lens
He shut eye just for once
Monster jumped in one bounce
Took pic and signed it: Loch Ness Goddess !
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
While sitting on a hollow log
I was kissed by an ugly frog
It turned into an ugly queen
My oh my, what a hideous scene
I'd rather pull ticks from a dog!