There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'
but when it got little
his pills became skittles
until he O.D.'d on Viagra
© ~JSLambert 2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!
Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '
'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust!
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.
'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much,
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'!
Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.
Happy Birthday to this awesome THREE:
to Frank, Kashinath, and P.D.
Those born this day SEVEN
have blessings of Heaven
in wit, charm and poetry!
Resurrecting this oldie for the contest of PD:
You three guys are tops with me!
My tour made me really content
I was pleased with where I was being sent
The Air Force said go
I couldn't say no
so over to Scotland I went.
The tour could not have been better
I knew SHE was the one when I met her
It really was strange
How my whole life would change
cause I knew I would never forget her.
My time in Scotland I'll never forget
I've never been to a nicer place yet
I bought home a wife
she's the love of my life
so to Scotland I owe a great debt.
< dancing and twisting the night away
karen O'Leary just had to say
Joseph Spence and Dr. Ram
our convention's quite jammed
hope katherine Stella's table won't sway
Poets At My Table
Myself Katherine Stella
Dr. Ram Mehta
A Table For 4 Contest
Slams Destroyed Her Head
She was slammed by slam poetry, boo hoo!
Some folks wondered about the hullabaloo.
When bombarded with dread,
Sad thoughts destroyed her head.
Now, she thinks she’s a blithering cuckoo!
© July 17, 2010
There once were two people online
Through e-mail their lives intertwined
They swore in each letter
That they'd get together
Neither one knowing what they would find
So one day when both had the chance
To see under what circumstance
They would think of each other
Be it friend, be it lover
Either way it'd be one heck of a dance
So the one went to the other's town
To see which emotion is found
But they must grow a bond
Before taking love on
Even buildings are built from the ground
The first day they soaked up some sun
Followed by dinner and fun
There was no stopping
Their bar-to-bar hopping
both drunk by the time they were done
They ended up at his hotel
"One more drink", she had said, "that sounds swell".
But the kissing, caressing
Led to them undressing
Ignoring their White Zinfindel
They woke the next morning perplexed
The ache in their heads had them vexed
They both had enjoyed
What they tried to avoid
Neither knowing what they should do next
So neither one spoke of last night
And both were nervous and uptight
But it would be a shame
to be pointing the blame
at what at the time seemed so right
But knowing it couldn't be ignored
They talked and their feelings were poured
They both felt confused
And a little bit used
But it was something they both could afford
When the trip came to an end
They enjoyed the time they did spend
With a kiss and a sigh
they both said goodbye
And to this day remain closest friends
There once was a guy whose name was Lance
And all this man loved to do was dance,
If you beat on a drum
Or just twiddle your thumb,
Lance would jump up and he'd start to prance.
He danced from morning into the night
He'd leap in air like a bird in flight,
He never got tired
And always was fired,,
Until one day when he lost his sight.
Have you ever seen a blind man dance?
Well it was a sight, that cane and Lance,
He didn't want pity
Though it wasn't pretty,
When he toppled loosing his balance.
He'd jump right up and continue on
And nothing could stop this dancing prawn,
He taught us a lesson
That there is no reason,
To end what you love before you're gone.
There was once a man from Thomaston
He called his wife honey bun
His knee joint went out
In pain he did shout
Viagra's no longer number one
The days of Summer are here
On this beautiful earth sphere
This season of shine
The beach we do pine
Our time to appear draws near
The day we have awaited has arrived
To the seaside we carefully drive
The kids and their daddy
The excitement in us now thrives
In adventure they play on the dunes
Through the reeds the breeze plays a tune
A symphony so grand
As I'm barefoot on the sands
On this glorious sunny afternoon
For these days of Summer cheer us all
As the sounds of happy kids en-thrall
Our day is now ended
As darkness has descended
My kids and I had a ball